"Today, the LGBTQ+ community is at a crossroads with our loved ones and hard-won rights increasingly under attack." For decades, the Human Rights Campaign has been at the forefront of the fight for equality in the face of discrimination and harassment. "With the support of people like you, HRC fights for a world where lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer people can live openly and thrive free from fear." If you're ready to support the fight for equality, to donate today, visit HRC.org/give. That's HRC.org/G-I-V-E. Audible's best of 2024 picks are here. From memoirs and sci-fi to mysteries and thrillers, Audible's curated list in every category is the best way to hear 2024's best in audio entertainment. Like a stunning new full-cast production of George Orwell's 1984. And percival efforts brilliantly subversive James. Audible. There's more to imagine when you listen. I actually am really excited to hear George Orwell's 1984 again, because last time I read that was back in, I don't know, middle school or something like that. And the world has changed so much with technology and everything like that. I feel like now is the perfect time to revisit and listen to it on Audible. Especially when it's told by a full cast like that. Like it's a full production, it's going to be like a radio play, you know? That's major. Go to audible.com/crapins and discover all the years best, waiting for you. That's audible.com/crapins. Watch what crap is. Watch what crap is. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is? Crapins. Crapins. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crapins. Watch what crap is. Watch what crap is. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is. Hey everyone, welcome to Watch what Crap is. A podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. And then talk about right here on this podcast, hence the podcast, about Bravo. I'm Ben Mantleker from bsideblog.com and The Banter Blender, which I vouch return. It's my weekly vow to return The Banter Blender, but not yet. Welcome to the podcast. Joining me, as always, is the wonderful, the hilarious, the recently redecorated apartment Ben! Ronnie! I love you. So nice. Oh, my brain, I have my brain today. I have recap line brain because I've been writing this recap on Beverly Hills for trash talk TV and it's 30 pages long because it's crazy. So sorry, everybody. I wish I had a good excuse. Maybe I'll still just say that I'm continuing my Mexico hangover. I've got Mexico hangover, but that's what I'm going to say. I think I'm finally through the worst of it in terms of Mexico GI issues, but, you know, today's my first day having coffee since then and we'll see what happens. There may be some very sudden interruptions in the podcast. Anyway, welcome to the show, everyone. Yeah, let's open it with poop. This is not Real Housewives of Potomac Day, okay? I'm not popping poop. I'm so sorry. You're right. That's for Giselle and her tea. So everyone, please come to Facebook.com/watchworkrapens because we have truly the best Facebook page on the internet. So many fun links go up there. Photos, we have a really fun photo of Lala up from the Vanderpump Rules season finale, which we'll be talking about a little bit. People post all sorts of crazy stuff. Great gossip. It's really, I think it's actually like a hub for all Bravo TV gossip. It's more so than the Bravo TV website. So like that, if you'd like Bravo, of course, you can support us on patreon.com. Go forward/watchworkrapens. Our supporters get access to a weekly bonus episode, which is really cool. This week we talked about Mexico and spring break and also OJ, the latest episode of OJ and we had some political ranting towards the end there, which is always fun. Also we have a monthly Google Hangout where basically we set up a hangout and supporters can come online. We get on there and we drink and chat and laugh. That's really fun. Our next one is happening on next Thursday, is that the 24th, I believe? Some March 24th? Yeah. Yeah. So keep an eye out for that. And then of course that's also how you can contribute to the Crap and Mail bag, which we'll be doing shortly. And of course, if you go to watchworkrapens.com, you can find all our social media links. There you go. Look at that. Did it. And done. And done. Now, I really hope I didn't bore you with all that information and put you to sleep. Because if I did put you to sleep, we all know where you should be sleeping. On a Casper mattress, of course, Casper. Casper is an online retailer of premium mattresses for a fraction of the price. The mattress industry has inherently forced customers into paying notoriously high markups. Casper is revolutionizing the mattress industry by cutting the cost of dealing with resellers and showrooms and passing that savings directly onto the consumer. Yeah. A Casper mattress provides resilience and long-lasting support of comfort. Casper's mattress is one of a kind, a new hybrid mattress that combines premium latex foam with memory foam. Matresses can often cost well over $1,500, but Casper mattresses cost between $500 for a twin and $600 for a twin XL, $750 for a full size, $850 for the queen size, and $950. For a king's size. My king. Casper understands that buying a mattress online can have consumers wondering how this is possible. Well, guess what? Buying a Casper mattress is completely risk-free. Casper offers free delivery and returns within a 100-day period. It's that simple. An obsessively engineered mattress at a shockingly fair price. Just the right sink, just the right bounce. Two technologies, latex foam and memory foam, okay. They come together for better nights and brighter days, okay? Risk-free trial and return policy. They try sleeping on a Casper for 100 days. Free delivery and painless returns, unlike the fights that these idiots keep bringing up at dinner. Darling. See? No. Casper's mattress mid-in. Well, $100 for a twin-sized mattress and $900 for king size mattress compared to industry average. That outstanding price point. Baby, you just got to own this mattress, okay? You just got to own it. Get $50 towards any mattress purchase by visiting www.cassper.com/crapins and using the promo code Crapins, terms and conditions applied, baby. There's some conditions applied. I just wanted to steal someone else's storyline because I don't have one of my own. Beast. By the way, they love when we do these ads, they love when we add our own personal anecdotes and I actually have a legit anecdote, which is that I famously have a Casper mattress. I'm telling people it is so good. When I came back from this aforementioned mehico trip, I can't tell you the joy I felt climbing into my Casper mattress. Seriously, if you're in the market for a mattress, I really can't endorse it. I have personal anecdote too because I lay in bed all the time because of the lime bed and my husband has never dared like Casper to go so dare. Like a Casper? Yeah, go get your Casper mattress, everyone. Use the code Crapins and you will, I swear to God, you will be very happy with it. Unless you've got a Casper. What do you want to talk about first, Tony? Well, before we go into the mailbag, I want to mention something that I know is on everyone's mind. It's a very pressing issue. It's something that we actually really have to address on this podcast and I feel a little bad that we haven't addressed it already. It's a little herpes. Yeah, no. This is your other up rules. This is actually serious. Tour Group has been put on hiatus. You know people ain't watching that, so when it's already in the can and it crosses a million dollars to shoot and they're still not going to show it. It's on hiatus until May 10th. First, we knew something was a miss when, well, Ronnie texted me yesterday and was like, I can't find Tour Group anyway and I was like, I thought Ronnie was just being so understood. It's not online yet. It's, you know, it's... Bear you. I was like, it's airing tonight, Ronnie, like it's Tuesday and he's like, no, I can't find it in the guide. I just didn't respond. I was like, Ronnie's just being ridiculous. He'll figure it out. I love her non-responses. I'm like, whatever. They're like a warm, they're like a cold hug. To be fair, I think I was going off to do something like packing a box. And also, you know, if you respond, I'll keep responding, like I've never stopped. So then I go out to dinner, et cetera, et cetera, I come home and I'm like, all right, let's watch Tour Group. It'll just be easy watching. Like, there's no Tour Group. I was like, wait, maybe Ronnie was right. And now I get concerned. That was hilarious. It's like hours and hours later. They're like, oh, I see what you mean about Tour Group. And I was like, yeah, by the way, my DVR didn't record it. You must be right. So the guy thought com slash listings. So anyway, I went on to the Bravo website. I saw it. It's not coming back until May 10th. And luckily, Michael Cook, our news man, our resident watcher cropping's news man, had already posted a link saying the reason why Tour Group has been postponed, according to an insider quote unquote, is the producers are retooling it. Apparently, the love triangle between that guy and the twins was reading is really fake. And the producers didn't like it. And they want to make a bigger deal of the Two Vegas girls fighting. So you see those two idiots end up becoming the stars of the show. That's what people want. Just put stupid people on a foreign land. I mean, we love them in our own land. Yeah. But to be fair, I was totally down for that that crazy love triangle because you know those twins are going to go out each other in a really nasty way. So I was down for that. But listen, if they need to step away for a moment and gather their thoughts and bring us a revamped tour group, I'm really OK with that. Well, you can try, but nothing makes people not want to watch us so more than when the producers are like, you know, that seems fake. So we're going to fake something else. We need a month. Well, it could have been it could have been worse because the Bravo really didn't like it. They would have put it Fridays at like 11 p.m., which they've done with many a show. There was this one show that they had on called Chef Academy, I think, which was actually really good. And Bravo did not like it. And they put it on Tuesdays at 11 p.m., so at least this show didn't get like sent to the graveyard totally. But also, I think I texted you this that I originally guessed that they were probably delaying it to pair it with the return of below deck Mediterranean or the premier of that. And that's also something that they mentioned in the article, which makes more sense. I don't know why they would pair this with Beverly Hills instead of below deck. Well, we're going to, that's going to be a crazy ass month, there's going to be a lot on. I'm telling you, when April hits, we have Shazza sunset, we have Southern Charms of Dallas. Dallas coming in April? I think so. I think it's like April 20th, April 10th, I don't know, you know, my memory doesn't work but we have New York City, is that coming in May or is that April? Oh, my Lord, New York below deck, we have below deck, we have tour group. Technically, we have thicker than water starting up soon, but I think we can skip that. We both hate that. So we have, it's going to watch a show with a preacher with a private plane. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. So it's, things are going to happen, we have a lot of stuff about to drop on us. You know, Bravo has, I guess they do it sort of like in thirds, right? They have like things started in like late October, November and April and then we'll probably get a bunch of stuff in June. Yeah, it's going to be some busy times, but in the meantime, we've got some shit throwing going on on these shows and it's so fun. This is like a weird point in all the seasons where they're all coming to a close and it's been 20 hours each of these shows and it's like really, it's the same shit over. So now is the really good part because the boring hump is over and now they're all just like fighting for finale time, you know, and reunion time and they're bringing it out. And so it's so much fun. It's like a nice invigorating end run towards the next slew of crazy. Oh yeah, no, it has, it has been great. So while we don't, we won't be covering what's it called a tour group today because it has been shoved off the schedule, that gives us more time for crop and smell bug. Let's see. How far are we into that? How, we're like 11 minutes, 12 minutes, somewhere like that, you know, doing the time markings for our post product. So I'll just say it's time steamed. So, wow, we have a lot of questions. So continuing on from our mailbag, let's see, what are we, what are we asked last week or on Tuesday, we talked about, okay, Catherine says, Catherine says, what the fuck was Tom Schwartz wearing at his engagement party as a long tunic candy necklace? Look, a thing now. I never know what these men on band or prep rules are doing that it's, I get that the world has changed to where women have become more manly and men have become more womenly, but I mean, come on now, we need to be able to tell who's who, like these guys are walking around and girls close from the 80s, Jack's was wearing red capris. Yeah, it was, it was very like yoga chic. I felt like it was like an homage to the season, series finale of Mad Men. Well, yoga is the only place he's going to be asked to touch his toes in that relationship. Catherine also adds, she says, you don't have to read this on the podcast, but of course I am going to, but this is, she said, I just had the weirdest dream that you, she's talking to me actually. She said, I just had the weirdest dream that you and I were attending an Erica Jane concert in a backwards church basement. Get out of my brain. Yeah, she knows I ain't going to be there. Even in her dreams, she knows I wouldn't go to that. I'm so sorry for your nightmare. Which church basement, two of us, Erica Jane concert, Pat the boss, Pat the boss. Oh, okay. This is me. Okay. Michael Horan asks, I'm curious to know what you guys think will happen on next season of Orange County. I know they started filming about a month ago with everyone returning except Lizzie, which should by the way be the name of Lizzie's biography. Everyone returning except Lizzie. Hey, by the way, did you know somebody posted the net worth of the house wise recently and Lizzie is up there with Lisa Vanderpump. They're both worth like $25 million. No, Lizzie made the top 10. She's tied with Bethany. Oh, with Lisa Vanderpump was at the top. Lisa Vanderpump was at the top. Bethany was only like Bethany and Lizzie were like at 10 and nine. So that was pretty shocking. Oh, I thought they were both 25ers. Well, I mean, rank number 10 or nine ranked. Oh, oh, I meant like in money. I think they're both worth like 25 mil each. So we can make fun of those string bikinis off she wants, but that's how to marry girl. You know, we make fun of Lizzie all the time for being kind of like the sad pathetic one that's sort of like running after everyone else and whose party is no one shows up to. But the truth is I actually always found that Lizzie was pretty smart and I actually really liked her a lot. I think that she just doesn't have she's just not house wise material. She's sort of borderline. Yeah, I like that she's still a friend of because I love that Lizzie shows up to every scene just like she's always the first one at the party and she's like, what are we eating? And then she just gets a plate of food and watches people fight. It's funny as shit. Yeah. And then the producers usher out of there because you know how they do that now, like the past like two or three years on the housewives. The housewives will be somewhere like at a store or somewhere and then like the clerk will be like, I'm going to leave you alone for a few minutes. And then like the scene proceeds without like any outsiders. That's what I've noticed. They've done to Lizzie. Lizzie's like, okay guys, I got to go home now. It's like 730 p.m. She's like, I got to go. She's like holding on to the door produces a like yanking wrap by one of those suitcase rollers with a bunch of like, uh, to go containers on it and strap down to it. Some glad we're, um, anyway, so, uh, there's so anyway. So Osea, it's a new house with named Kelly and Gina and Lynn are making a few cameos. Who do you think will be the first to make amends with Vicki? What will Megan's next quest camera tag justice be? Will Tamara's return to Satan party be this premier or the finale party and how many negative thoughts per day will Shannon have David, David, David, David. Shannon's going to be at a solid 75 because now she can't be having negative thoughts about David and Vicki right here. Okay. Yeah. Shannon's in that precarious place. Shannon's entering season three. Well, we're a season one. Everybody loved her season two. People loved her, but then, you know, she had the righteous thing on her side because of Brooks's fake cancer. So I think people were solidly with her, but sick of her talking about her marriage. So she followed that up by starting a marriage tour with David where they go, they go like lecture about bad marriages or some shit every holiday in banquet hall in the country. You get a tombstone and you get a tombstone and you get a tombstone. So the poster board industry is going crazy. We're all making poster boards today of our relationships. That's important. My prediction is that Shannon and David will be fine and I'll tell you why because now that Shannon is feuding with Vicki, all her negative attention and all her fixation is going to go towards Vicki. And so this is going to take all the heat off of David. I guarantee that's what will happen and there'll be a lot of David and I are in a great place. You know, when I start to harp on him, he's learned to put in earplugs and that way he doesn't get mad. Well, I think they'll have that first half of season where they're really happy, but then I've noticed that when something that happens with couples on these shows is they don't realize what's happening until there's cameras there. You know, she was like so used to just ignoring David for years. And then there were cameras there and she was like, wait a second, David, David. And she started like getting really pissy and then saw how they look. So now they're so hyper aware and look, you can be as fake as you want on these fake ass shows, but no one can really do it. Their real personalities come in the end. I think traveling around with her cheating ass has been talking about cheating over and over again. You know, he getting some pussy on the side. Yeah, exactly. Nothing makes a man hornier than talking about cheating every five minutes. Absolutely. Yeah, he's gonna be because he's gonna be going down memory lane about all those women on the beach he walks by. All the gas out there at a holiday and with the beach, he's gonna have a nervous breakdown. What are you looking at, David? David? David? I think the first person to make a men's Vicky is going to be Heather. That's my prediction because Heather, I think of all the women who were wrapped up in it. I don't think I think Heather was the least angry. I mean, I think she was annoyed that like Terry got pulled into the lie a little bit, but Heather also loves an opportunity to sit down with someone with champagne over lunch and to explain in a very condescending way where things went wrong. Like, "Ficky, I love you, okay?" But we were just mad that you were defending Brooks, okay? That's what we don't like. We'd like it when you can understand what we are saying about you. That's all. Claw hands, claw hands, claw hands. This wouldn't have been a problem. We are supportive of you. The problem is that you told Brianna, who told me that you called my husband to come over for medical advice, my husband didn't do that. So there's where the problem lies and Vicki will be like, "Well, can we just forget it? Let's just forget it." No big deal. It is a big deal because my husband is a doctor and she's going to go on and make her hands and then she's just going to turn off because she's a robot with no feelings and doesn't actually care. No, and she's... So is Vicki, by the way. Yeah. Well, you know, Vicki is like one of those inflatable things that you punch and it like knocks down and then it comes back up again, you know? Yes. I mean, what do they have at the unsinkable Molly Brown? She is fine. I mean, Vicki has entered several... It's like every other season Vicki enters as like the persona non-grata of the season. Do you remember? I mean, the famous onion rings party. That's when Vicki showed up with a new face and everyone hated Vicki because they had like a really rough reunion. For whatever reason, they all were hating Vicki probably because of Brooks. It's fine. It'll be fine. You know, the audience is really angry at Vicki this week. I mean, we get so many messages and emails or tweets like, "How could you say like, "Vicki, Vicki, she needs to be fired from the show. It needs to be fired from the show." No, no, no. Yeah. That's like a whole movement. Yeah. I don't think she needs to be fired. Listen, Vicki has a special place. Vicki has a special place. Vicki to get off, you know, get off Scott Free then there are like people voting for the presidency. Yeah. I say keep Vicki, even if she's being really annoying and ridiculous, I mean, still, I mean, she is so entertaining. Well, she's a compulsive, lying narcissist, megalomaniac, nutcase, and that's so great. Yeah. That's what's so great. She's the first person to forgive her by forest hammer because real evil idiots always come back together and those two need each other to further their point. They're going to make up and then they're going to fight the rest of the season. Well, if Tamara is a good Christian, she'll forgive her, I guess. So we'll see how that will go. No. It's not the human's job to forgive. It's Jesus's name. That's Jesus's duty, not Tamara's. She can forgive, but if she doesn't, she can apologize later. Now, if Jesus didn't forgive, that would be different. It's like changing a whole religion. Tamara's going to have to baptize herself five more times because, you know, if that sinning is going to be off the charts again, you know, I'm going to baptize my meat implants. I forgot about that. Okay, everybody, come to my party again. What's that? By the way, it was really nice of Lala to repurpose Vicki's baptism dress for this week's Vanderpump Rules. No kidding. She's got Vicki's white lace, doily baptism dress and then that Charo fucking hair that every evil woman, Brandy Glanville, Erica, every like one that they're trying to paint is a villain. Where's that damn Charo? Here it is. Lala, 20 year old. Lala. She's so sloppy. Okay, so Joseph has a really cool question. He goes, if you had to show someone who had never watched any of the Housewives shows, one single episode from any franchise that encapsulates the essence of the series, which would it be and why I would choose Real House of Beverly Hills, Dinner Party from Hell. Sorry if this is what you were going to choose, smiley face to apologize. That's a very good one actually. That was the very first thing I thought of. I mean, the Dinner Party from Hell is to me that is kind of the quintessential one. I personally, if I weren't going to choose that one, my other contenders would probably be the season one series, season one season finale of Beverly Hills and I think Scary Island, I think Scary Island, the one with Bethany is telling Kelly Bensmoan to go to her room. That one would be a great one to show. I think the season two of Miami when Adriana slapped Joanna Krupa would also be a great one. I would say, I would probably, I'm not sure if this was the season finale, but I think Beverly Hills, the episode where they all went to New York. I think that was a finale, right? They all go to New York to see Kelsey in La Cajun. No, that was like around episode four or five, but it was early. It was the first, the first, yeah, because that's when the lot, that's when the issue happened and they fought and it like went on for the whole season. Oh, okay. So then maybe I'm thinking of a different New York trip. No, that's the one they would do La Cajun fall and then they fought in the restaurant. Yes. Such a fucking liar Camille. The fucking liar Camille. That was season one, wasn't it? Yeah, that was season one. And because that was like in the first episode of season one. Oh, yeah. That started the whole fight. Yeah, dinner party smells a little one. Because it's a fight over nothing. It's like someone told me in the bathroom that you said something and she's like, no, I didn't. And then it became a fight for the whole year. And it's so stupid. That is so Beverly Hills. Yeah, Beverly Hills is so housewise and isn't that the one, which is the episode where Camille showed up to Frager's opening? Is that the same one where she was in a dress and she's trying to be all sexy, even though he was about to dump her? Yeah. It was so awkward. That is the perfect picture of what a housewives show is. This dumb trophy wife, ho, trying to brag about her Broadway husband. When meanwhile he's like trying to shoe her off while he's fucking a stewardess that he's most likely already gotten pregnant. Yeah. I think also a case could be made for the season finale of season one of Jersey or even better. Like they have, there's like an extended version of that like because not the famous table flipping. And people think, oh, the table flipping is so iconic, but the truth is the entire dinner party leading up to the table flipping was really great. And Bravo actually did a full episode that was just on the dinner party, not the stuff before dinner party. And that is actually really worth watching too. And then you could also make a case for the season premiere of Jersey season three when they started off with them just like brawling. And then-- Oh, the christening. You're supposed to pick one episode. I know what I'm saying. These are all the nominees. You're like an episode guide on thetv.com. Well, because it's fun to also think back about these episodes because also Jersey, the only other one of Jersey that I can think of that's really worthwhile was season two when there was a brawl at the posh fashion show at the brownstone. That's when Teresa to Danielle Staab was like, I'm from Madison bitch or whatever. Did you forget? They were Patterson and then Ashley pulled Danielle's hair out. I mean, that was pretty losing. Yeah, that was some gold right there pulling the weave out and then she put the clump of the weave on Twitter. She's like, this is abuse. I feel like I'm sure there is an episode of Atlanta that was that I was like, you know what it is about Atlanta? Atlanta is sort of like at a consistent level of crazy, but it's never-- Oh my god, Atlanta had so many of them. I feel like the pajama party was really crazy, but I don't know if that's-- There's so many I can't even think. I can't even isolate one. I feel like-- It feels too recent to call it a classic like it's too early to be on TV land. It means a couple more years to breathe. I mean, the first reunion of Atlanta was a game changer. That changed all the reunions after that before Atlanta reunions were a pretty tame affair. But that first reunion, that was close your leg to married men. That was Kim talking about fake cancer. That was like Lisa Huhart while standing up and like wanting to fight Kim Zolciak. We just didn't see shit like that before the Atlanta reunion. The day that changed the housewives forever. Yeah, I mean, there are-- gosh, there are so many good ones. Now that I think about it. The first episode I ever saw, the first-- yeah, the first episode I ever saw, I think was season one of Orange County and Vicki saying-- I've said this a million times, but I just will never forget it. Vicki going to the car wash with her kids and going, that's what you do in Orange County. You'll go to the car wash. You got to have a clean car. I mean, to me, that encapsulates pretty much-- that one little scene encapsulates this stupid fucking genre of shows. Yeah. It's all about your car wash in Orange County, says the woman from Wisconsin or whatever. Get out of here. You know, I think this is actually a great question. And I think we should open it up to the Facebook people, all the people on the Facebook. Or our listeners on Facebook, I would love to have people weigh in, leave a comment on our podcast episode post about what you think is like the one episode that someone should watch. They've never seen the housewives that encapsulates the entire essence of the franchise. Yeah. I would love to hear what people think because it's also really fun to think back at these episodes. What do you think of the next? Um, okay, Sammy, Suleiman, Sammy, I hope we say your name right. Suleiman. Suleiman. Like Suleiman. Supreme Court Justice. But it's S-U-L. No, that's Suleiman. Nevermind. Yeah. Who's Suleiman? Nadia Suleiman. Is that the woman who cut off her husband's penis? No. Is that the woman of like 20 children? The one who is like-- I know what you're talking about. Oh, no. She's Octomom. Octomom. Octomom. You don't forgot about her. See, now you'll always remember. You're welcome. It's different spelling. So Sammy asks, would your favorite house husband use Scruff, Grinder, or Craigslist? I don't know how skanky you guys are, but there's a difference. P.S. To quote your Patty Stanger impression from a random episode I listened to, I'd suck the cocks right off you if I could. Patty, you don't say that. What the hell? Yeah, suck 'em off. I'd suck 'em off if you weren't gay. That's what you said to us. I suck 'em off. I, my husband, will not be coming from an app. I'll tell you that right now because I'm an old person. I hate those apps. I've had them all and they're crazy. Grinder, Snoddy. It's these Snoddy queens who like don't eat, work out a lot, spray tan. They've always got a spray tan line on their butt, you know, those types. And they think they're all snotty, but they're really homely but with workout bodies. Get out of here with your workout body, your homely face. Well, I think the question is more like, would your favorite house husband, so like Mauricio, whatever, you had to figure out which of your favorite house husbands, who's your favorite house husband, and would they use Scrupper or Texas? Ah, thank you. Okay, yeah. I can't internalize that because we'll be here for half an hour. Look, I was about to go. Okay. Um, house husband. I can't even start. I did my brain to recompile. I know. I'm like, I'm trying to remember who my favorite house husband is. You know, it's so hard for me, like, because we talked for so long about these shows. The ones that are on. So all I can think of now is who's on Beverly Hills and who's on Atlanta. It's like, I can't, I can't even remember who the husbands are on Orange County or New York. Well, there's like, no one on New York, all the husbands are on the bare one. It's not, it's not any of those, but it's the one for like, fatter people. I've been on that one before. No, no, it's like, it's called like bare or burr, you know, cause there's never a bowel in it. It's something for like, bigger people, but I know I went on that one. I was like, Oh my God. Thank God. Some fat guys. And there's snotty assholes too. I mean, Jesus Christ gays. They come in every size. Okay. Let me think. Tom Girardi would be from that bare one, that grumpy old man bear, but still has an attitude. Grinder would be probably trying to think who's the prettiest one. Probably David. He's a little old for grinder, but David from Orange County has definitely got the prettiest face. Donnie, Donnie would definitely be on grinder. I don't think Donnie's cute. There I said it. Well, fine. He's got a grinder body. You have to admit that. Oh, that's true. Yeah. I think. Okay. Jason. Bethany's ex Jason would be on grinder. Yeah, he would be a grinder. He would be like an older twink on grinder, for sure. Scruff would probably be like Paul Adrian's ex-husband. I'm sure he wouldn't be Craigslist. Oh, you know, who would be scruff would be would be Joe Gorga. He would be. Yeah. He's crazy scruff. Joe Gorga is grime. He's got like a grinder spray tan and body wax, but more of a scruff, rough bottom kind of a personality, you know, like a power bottom, like a lot of attitude who yells at you and spits in your face, but then just wants to like it plowed for five hours Apollo would definitely be on jacked, which was not probably the original question option, but I'm going to introduce jacked into the equation and Apollo would be on that. I wonder if they have things like that in jail, like if they have little apps that they can go on the computer and use with each other and jailer, like the block app like block, but prisoner with no E prison, yeah, block with no, Oh, Mauricio. I think Mauricio is a scruff. He's a scruff. Yeah. For sure. Yeah. He's a scruff where you're like, Oh my God, look at that cute guy. And then you meet him. I love handles because you know, people on scruff are it's like for bears, but only bears at work out. And then they're mad when they meet a real bear, like what do you think a bear is? You think it just means having a like a hint of a mustache? I feel like Ken would be on Craigslist and he'd show up for the hookup and some would be like, uh, I'm just here to buy a vacuum cleaner, like I guess as a mistake. Yes, Ken would be on Craigslist. He'd be like, I need, uh, hello, hello, mom, please, please respond. If you want a giant king sized power, and they'd be like, yes, we want it. Yeah. I met vacuum. Send nudes. Send nudes, please. Um, Simon van Kempen, I think Simon is just on list. He's just on every, he's on all of them. Yes, he's that one, he was always the top of the list on every single, because he's always on the app. He's always the most recently on, he's the one who messaged you and just goes looking top or bottom. I didn't say hi. My friend told me the other day, she's like, I got a tender message from this guy. And it just said, anal question mark. Yeah. That's Simon. Stop that. You have to be nice. Romaine. Oh, Romaine. Romaine. Let us remember. Romaine. Yeah. Romaine. Romaine. That's so big. He's so big. That's right. He's not hairy enough. He's not like, silver looking. He's bad. Shane has asked off that. Romaine. No, no. Romaine would do very well on, on Grindr. Well, he's very cute. And people on Grindr, do you like lettuce? Yeah. They do. It's their, it's their favorite protein. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Any more from the mailbag being, um, I was still just thinking about all the house husbands. Um, yeah, we have, I mean, we have a lot. Um, um, let's see, uh, oh, Jean Beaten Levitt, uh, she asks, this is actually going back a little bit to Orange County. She goes, I was listening to one of your OC podcasts. You were discussing Vicki's overreaction to Brooke's cancer diagnosis. How do you feel about her performance? And are you pissed Vicki took us for chumps? What do you think of fake illness storylines? And do you think there should be a punishment? So this goes back to what we were talking about before. Uh, I don't think there should be a punishment. Um, I, I mean, it would be hard to enforce. Yeah. Uh, I get a blood test before every reunion and they get publicly flogged. Yeah, I, I'm not pissed of, I don't, because I don't think Vicki took us for chumps. I think Vicki just got caught up in her own lies. I don't think she's sweet, innocent, and of course she did. She's still selling cancer products. She's like selling her hashtag. Yeah, but I don't think it's, but I don't think it's as malicious as, ah, they're all chumps. I think it's just like she tried to get away with it. She got caught up. She's, she thought she would just sort of like, this would be like an easy thing. And then it's like one, you know, she's got in too deep. She got in too deep. Yeah. I just don't think it's, I just pretend you have cancer. They can't be mean to you. If you have cancer and then it's no pulse. Yeah. I think Vicki's natural state is taking people for chumps. She thinks everyone's an idiot around her. And guess what? She's right. They usually are so, but I don't, I don't take it personally. I think that's part of the fun of these shows. I mean, I mean, I feel like people should, should relax and enjoy it as like great entertainment. I mean, look, she's got, she got taken down. Like what else do you want? She got taken down. She just got a new kitchen and a new season on her show. So not really. Well, but she, but like now she has to grow up her way through it. I think that's the fun of it. That's the fun of the people. Yeah. So, uh, Henrisa, Bassey, there's something with, there's something about Vicki that as awful of a human being as she is. And she really is. She's gross. Out of everything she's done over her seasons and all of her lies and all of her crap. And she's terrible, but I always like her. It's so weird. I never even get mad at her because she's just so consistently terrible. Yeah. I, I kind of agree with you. Okay. So, um, Henrisa, Bassey says, let's talk dating. Look, look at all these questions all like we've together. Let's talk dating. Everyone has a funny worst date ever story. Ronnie and Ben, please tell us about your worst date ever. Ronnie, you can start because I feel like this is, if you think it was hard for, thought it was hard to come up with house husbands going back into the dating and going, no kidding. There were a lot of bad dates. Yeah. I've had a lot of bad dates, but I don't really date that much. Like I'm not interested and probably because I've had so many bad dates. I was like, oh, Netflix is better. Um, but probably one of the dumbest dates we have this really stupid fight. I was dating this guy who, I mean, I was younger. I think I was in my mid twenties and I'm dating this guy. He was fairly cute and we were sitting in a taco cabana. Okay. So there's, there's where it begins, a fucking taco cabana. I think it was like our second date. I should have been running. I know, but I was 25. So still, at least I had to make him buy my taco. I was like, you know, you're paying for this, right? And he's like, well, I thought you wanted to be independent. I said, I do. It means I don't want you to dress me enclosed from Abercrombie. It doesn't mean that I don't want you to buy me a taco, like learn what independence means. Yeah. So he bought my taco and then some hot guy walked in and I was like, oh my God, that guy. And he started yelling at me, not yelling, but like telling me off about how disrespectful it is to see something. And I was like, I didn't want to, I didn't try and date him. I'm just saying like, that's a hot guy. You're not allowed to do that when you date and he's like, no. And then he got all pissed off and I went on the patio to smoke a cigarette and he came back acted like tears in his eyes. I'm so sure. Such a faker. So he came back like he had been crying and I was like, I'm really sorry, didn't mean to hurt your feelings. He's like, you know what? This is called a bump in the road and we'll get over it. And then he drank my Diet Coke and there is a cigarette in it. I put my cigarette butt out in there and then he had to go to the bathroom and throw up for 30 minutes. So that was probably his worst date, but it was still fun for me just to bump in the road. Yeah. I'm like this bullshit. I'm going to masturbate for the rest of my life. I can't remember which is my worst. I've definitely had some bad ones and at this point, I just sort of like forget like I'm sure as we talk, I'll like remember other ones. I do remember once going on a date there was this guy, I went on a few dates with him. He was a waiter at Fiesta Cantina. So that was already, it's already a bad sign there. With us and bad dates and Mexican food restaurants. So the good news is that he was really cute. The bad news is that he really was not that bright, but whatever, he was so cute that I was like okay, I'll just go on like a few dates with him because he's cute, right? So we go to this bar and we like sit down, we order drinks and these two women at the next table over ask him a question about something, like where's something, they're out of towners, they're British, they're out of towners, so he turns and starts talking to them in a British accent and he talks to them for 20 minutes in a British accent. And I'm like literally like his back is to me and he's talking to like these two women in a British accent. He doesn't say like I don't mind that he talks to other people on a date, I'm not like you have to talk to me, but like bring me in or something like that. Be like oh yeah, this is bad, whatever, I don't even understand the British accent, but I'm just sitting there drinking, staring at his back and I was getting so mad. I was like I almost pulled like a total diva movement just to be like bye, I almost just walked out. You should have taken, you should have left a second, he was like a day mate. Well I literally, of course the irony is that we sit here for like two hours a day speaking in like terrible Australian and British accents all the time. But I was like doing a, I was going to wait until I get to 20 minutes and like at minute 19 that's when he turned around and he was so happy, he turned around and he's like oh my god, those women totally thought I was British. I was like oh okay, I was like, I go, I have actually, this is, I've actually never been on a date where someone turned their back to me for 20 minutes that way they could try out a fake British accent on some people. And his smile, it was such a, it was a really bitchy comment for me to make, but I felt like it was deserved. And his smile, he was so excited and his smile just, it was like, he totally Marsha clarked in the courtroom with her new permit just like, made it down and he looked down at his beer and he goes, I'm sorry. Your waiter, Judge Edo was like, recess till tomorrow morning, go home and everybody just fix your hair, okay? Yeah. See you tomorrow. That's really much of what happened. But it was like one of those moments where it wasn't the worst day I ever went on, but it was, because I don't remember what my worst day was, but it was definitely one of those dates where I thought, this is just bizarre. That's some funny shit. Oh, dating in general, dating in general. Bye. Bye. Let's talk some shows. Let's talk some shows. Thanks, male. To those of you guys we didn't get to, there's still two or three more we didn't get to, so I'm sorry. But we had a lot. So we'll get there. We'll get to you. Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. That was a long male bag today, but that's because we had no tour group. It was fun. Yeah, it was. Okay, what do you want to talk about? First bin! I mean, we have a lot of good stuff, but I feel like Beverly Hills was so strong this week. So let's do Beverly Hills, then we'll do Vanderpump Rules season finale. Does that sound like a plan, everyone? Works for all of us. Yeah. If you're in favor, and I have to abstain because that shows, if you're in favor, say "I." I mean, I said "me." Okay? I'm not. I'm not going to take sides. My garlic is my garlic. My garlic is my garlic. My garlic is my garlic. My garlic is my garlic. I'm not saying "I." You're saying "I"? No, no, no. Coffee is kicking in. Real housewives of Beverly Hills. What? A crazy episode. Wait, man. I know I'm talking a lot, everyone. I've been drinking coffee. I've been off coffee for a week. I just want to say a macro note about the episode, and it gets back to what we're talking about about Beverly Hills in the mailbag, which is, I think the thing that I love about this show is that they do always have a small disagreement, a little kernel of whatever, and it builds and it builds and builds, and then it just gets out of control. And then just the layers of arguments going on between all these petty arguments, and they bounce off each other and get bigger and bigger, that's what I love about it because I feel like that's actually very true in real life. Oh, well, this, I wouldn't say, I guess the situation, yeah, it can be. I think the thing that makes this one different than most seasons is this show is really famously good at being about nothing. Yeah, it's by the sign filled of real housewives. Yes. And I love it. But this one is just nothing but it's people trying to make nothing, and that's pissing me off at this. I don't, I don't, I have to say, I don't think it's trying to make something. I think it's like someone like Eileen, it's just very sensitive and she just, she's very sensitive and Lisa van der Poepf is so being an horrible, she's awful Eileen, but it doesn't mean you can't be sensitive. Well, she's sensitive herself, but she's not sensitive to anybody else. I'm not saying she's sensitive in like, oh, poor Eileen, I'm saying that like, she's sensitive and then you have Lisa van der Poepf who's sensitive in a different way, but who's like who is, but she's sort of like, she's more cold, she's, I'm what do you say, thicker skinned and you have these things where I really don't think it's like, oh, trying to drill up drama, maybe at the beginning there was some, but once, once the shit swirling, then they just go, they just go, they're fine. I know, but she's literally there stirring the shit, like she's swirling the shit herself. That's what's making me nuts. It's not like a natural fight that Eileen even has any stake in, she's, okay, well, we'll get to that. We're going to get to it. We're going to get to it. Yeah. Okay. But yeah, oh good. I love when we get to argue about people. Well, I feel like we're actually on the same side. I don't think I'm as, I don't feel like I have as severe of the feeling about it. Ronnie warned before we started that Ronnie said it's going to be a ranty day, everyone. So this is going to be an extra hour long. It is. Just get ready. Never mind your feet. I'm always like, are you ready? Are you ready? Let's go. Let's go. I was like, I was like, well, there's a good chance that this venty coffee is going to make my shits come back, but Ronnie's going to be ranting today. So I'm going to need the coffee. You could poop and I wouldn't even know it. But I'd just be sitting here yelling at the, yelling at the computer. So we opened this episode with Yolanda calling, wait, this isn't the beginning. Okay. Bop, bop, bop. Dish network. Okay. I have to say, what the fuck is up with NBC snotty ass, always getting into fights with everybody. NBC owns Bravo for those of you who don't know. So NBC is now threatening to take away NBC owned stations from dish again, which happens it seems now, like every year, dish is like, watch out. We're going to drop you because who is using dish? That's my question. Whoever's uploading this shit to the internet, apparently, because it was on my screen. I was like, hello. I don't have to pay for this. No, it's on my screen. I think they put it on everyone's because I have drug TV and I got it. Oh, I do pay for time Warner police people who were going to come raid my neighbor's house for my ATV. But dish has this scrolling thing and it's like attention to customers. NBC, CNBC, X, SMBC, NBC, NBC, Bravo, Bravo, NBC, you know, all the channels as narrated by Tom Sandoval. They're like, you have to call right now and complain, Kristen. And then they named the campaign, stop the drop. You need to call them and say, stop the drop and I was like, Whoa, what are you running for office? Get out of here, but I'm pointing this out because of the opening, it's scrolling and it's Lisa Rinna's face and you know, I love a warning sign from a real sign that they show on camera and this was Lisa Rinna's face and right above it said, you're going to lose. It's like this network customers, you are going to lose blah, blah, blah. And it was the perfect placement. And that's how the show opens. So warning, you've been warned, Rina. Yeah. Yeah. And she's gone herself a little bit like, she's a little out of her depth at the moment. And she still hasn't gotten me in Microsoft. So I mean, fuck her, fuck her, I love, I love you, Lisa, but I love you more when you get me Microsoft. No, I'm just demanding it. I'm just being, I'm just demanding. I want to sit there and watch you watch me eat a croissant that you bought. Bam it. Listen, I've been in LA a long time, baby. I know where all the croissant places are and I know that you haven't gone to any of them to get me Microsoft baby, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I don't know. Chris off, baby. Oh, no, baby. Ooh. So dish network. Okay. Get over it. The internet was a buzz blah, blah, blah, leak scenes. Okay. So a lot of you have already seen all these episodes because there were a bunch of leak scenes on ye old internet last week of everything leading up. I mean, everything, including the finale. I did not watch those. So if we sound ignorant, it's because we don't watch us because by the time we talk about it, we'll forget all that stuff, or I will. Yeah. So Yolanda, thank you, and by the way, I'm talking so much because I have the notes for this one. Yeah. Yeah. You'll all survive. Yolanda, I would like to applaud Yolanda for not wearing white jeans for the first time in, I mean, 20 years that I can remember. She's wearing peak. It's snakeskin. So it's still representative. But at least they have those white-- The premier site for the-- Oh. Yes. Site for getting rid of white jeans, it's like burning white jeans in China. Um, bah, bah, bah. So she is on FaceTime with Gigi, reminding us that she has a supermodel daughter. Blah, blah, blah. Yeah. And she moves the phone. Also, she's sitting in a picture of only Gigi. She's sitting in front of a picture of just Gigi. I noticed that too. I know. [LAUGHTER] The only friend Gigi, not the other one, on the other one. The other ones I have somewhere on the phone. You know, the box photo of the other other ones somewhere over there on the filing company. They're under refrigerator, not at the Malibu refrigerator, but in this one, it's not see-true. You open it and there's a pic-- they're under the turkey. [LAUGHTER] So she moves the phone after she gets off with Gigi and puts it on top of the grand piano so that David can't stare at the grand piano the whole time they talk, which I thought was very tricky. She's like, "You will not look at piano while you talk to me." And she calls David to help her with her lime speech. [LAUGHTER] She's like, "David, David, my love." I have to write speech and I just can't write speech. It's just my brain is-- no, my brain is just not sharp anymore. I'm like, "Or you're just not a good writer. You're a model, not a writer." You're talking to a man who's written nine million songs and won 14 Grammys and you're complaining about how hard it is to write a damn speech. And then David, who's so supportive, is like, "Babe, you've already given a lime speech. Just give that one again. It was good." Yeah. He's talking about Yolanda singing her greatest hits for the Global Lime Alliance. Sounds like the X-Men. Listen, Yolanda, just go and take a bunch of lyrics from Michael Bolton and rearrange them and you'll be fine. Your husband owns the rights to all of them. It's okay. Yeah. But I kind of do it the same. Do you remember that he played Aave Maria for the 9,000th time last week? Where are you complaining to? Yolanda, you've been like regurgitating the same lines to us over and over again all season. It's okay if you repeat a speech. No kidding. Like the lime people are really there for something original. They're like, "Oh, God, sure to use this one. Kick her out of the Alliance." The Alliance. Who are they allied with? I don't know. It just says the Global Lime Alliance. I guess it's like a bunch of ticks on one side and a bunch of people on the other. The ticks are like, "It hurts us too." I think that we have said this multiple times on this show, but I do want to say because someone mentioned it in a comment the other day, getting pissy about it. We are not doubting lime. We kind of doubt chronic lime, but we've said we are not doctors. This at this point is not about the disease. I'm not doubting that there's a disease. I'm doubting Yolanda, okay? And if you don't doubt Yolanda, please listen to this quote that I transcribed directly from her. My brain used to be free-flowing an expression. I lost the ability to all of that. Now I have to tinker everything a hundred times. Yolanda, you are acting like you're on awakenings. The hell does lime do? She's acting like lime came and hammered a nail into her brain. Shut up, Yolanda. I mean, I believe that lime disease could do that to you, but I mean, I just, I agree with what Lisa said last week, which is that she's milking it. She's just milking it. Yeah, everything's about it. So to lime people, I know we make a bunch of lime jokes and stuff. I'm not doubting you think you're sick or you're dizzy. Obviously, lime is real. It's a testable disease. Yolanda is talking about chronic lime, which is a little different. That's an umbrella of a zillion diseases. I won't go again. I'm just saying, not doubting any of that publicly, doubting Yolanda, okay? Yeah. That's it. So she's inviting all the girls to a lime event. I'm on 2013, 16, whatever year it is, I can't tell lime brain lime brain. It's important for me to grow for girls to share my journey. Oh my God, the journey, the journey. It's always a journey. Some journeys go to Dubai. Some journeys go to a fucking lime conference. The year Yolanda's greatest lime hits. Yeah. Catherine is at the ear doctor getting in the plants. Yeah, that was nice. I thought that was nice. Can I tell you something odd? You know, the last few episodes I've really been feeling like Catherine is such an asshole. And this episode, oddly enough, I was enjoying her because there was something, I think I feel like I saw Catherine in a different way that she's just a goofy idiot, you know? Like she's just like, "Wow, I can't hear. I don't know." Like, whatever. Like, she's like a big, she's like a big old dog, you know, that you just pet and like it poops on your carpet every now and then you're like, "Oh, this frickin dog." But you know, it's like, "Oh, just pet it. It's fine. It's just…" And then suddenly it's Cuzio. It's like a big shaggy dog. Yeah. And B Wallace is stuck in a car with her kid and can't get out because she's got some dog fucking trying to murder her. Guess how does Catherine go to a doctor named Dr. House and not suggest Yolanda go see him? I know. That's a mystery right there. So Catherine is a big dumb, dumb, but she is manipulative enough to know as a housewife. You can see why she's cast because she uses her ear implant and deafness to, you know, absolve herself. She's like, "Oh, I didn't realize I couldn't hear her. This is why everybody got mad at me. Shut the fuck up. It's not that you couldn't hear. It's because you were saying stupid shit. But saying it loudly is just saying it loudly. I guess I've been hollering all this time. Hopefully now you can hear how stupid you sound to everybody else and be quiet. So the newest, back to the show, the newest gold digger, oh, but the newest gold diggers on the block now can learn how this shit is done. Welcome back, Miss Camille Grammer and the giant mall house that Frazier's ball sack built. Yeah. Yes, it was a random Camille Grammer party out of nowhere. Awkward ass Camille in her gigantic lonely mansion that she's been keeping that gardening done in poor Hagrid. You know Hagrid's out in the front doing all that gardening. There's a huge landscape there. Not for long because Camille's moving out, right? I mean, she just had an estate sale. Yeah. So it's good that she got her last hurrah before it's down to the condo in Zuma Beach or whatever. So Miss Camille-- We say that as if that's like a crappy existence. Well, compared to Malibu, darling. Yeah. Still next door. Yeah. I'm like-- She'd be horrified to say she lives in Zuma. I know. So Camille is so awkward. I love seeing Camille, but she comes back on the show. She stops down the stairs. She's wearing this, you know, this pretty dancing with the stars dressed with the cut out on the stomach. She's just stomping down the stairs so awkwardly. Yeah. She's, you know, just trying to put together a decent sentence. Now, how sad that we're going to be celebrating Camille? Somebody else's. Yeah, I went back the same day that we hear about our friends split. Yeah. So sad. I know. [LAUGHTER] I love Tahitian Perils. Tahitian Perils? It's Camille. It's Camille. It's Camille. She's got all these jewelry setups outside of her house because she's having a cancer fundraiser or some shit because cancer. I mean, that's, you know, not just in cancer, but of course Camille is like, let's do it with jewelry in the backyard. I love Tahitian Perils. Get out here. Get out of here with Nouveau, Married Rich. Yeah. Eileen is stuck in a dealer's clearance rack prom dress. Oh, no. Eileen. In a limo with Kyle and Kyle's stuck in some knitted tight. It's like knitted over the stomach with a glitter jacket. Oh, no. Diving. Diving. I just put, I hope the driver has enough empathy to drop them at a Marshall's first. Marshall's a Malibu. [LAUGHTER] It'll be all small with nothing. I think Marshall's a Malibu is actually Camille's estate sale. [LAUGHTER] That's Dee's room. What's her friend's name? Her friend Boy. Dee Dee Dee. That's Dee Dee's room. Malibu. [LAUGHTER] So, in six minutes of this show of Beverly Hills, we've had lime, deafness, and cancer. Yeah. It's like calling my papa. [LAUGHTER] This is like the part of that Verizon commercial where the little marbles go down the path. This is when the big bowling balls start rolling down. Like, okay, we're just going to shove all this data at you. [LAUGHTER] I was attacked by data. The bowling balls came from my lime. I haven't been out of bed in nine years because of the Verizon data. [LAUGHTER] I'm on a family club with Gigi and data. So much data. Cut to Lisa Vanderpump's house, where she's got some, how many dogs does this woman have? I haven't even seen half of these animals in her house. She's like, "Well, we've got to go, darling, I don't want to be late. I'm in trouble already, darling." It's like they showed, like, a million, million animals. [LAUGHTER] All the swans were on the air. Ooh. Lime, deafness, cancer, and now victim complex. You love it? So don't forget the dog slaughter. Oh, God, we'll get there. Oh, my God. This dog slaughter made me so sick to my stomach. I googled that shit. Please, nobody did it. I googled it last week because I saw the previous, I was like, "What are they talking about?" I was like, "Whoops." And for sure, they're exaggerating. Maybe some Chinese people eat some dogs. You know, it's like the old joke, like, "Don't eat Chinese for you to sprout." And man, out of a dog or a cat and people are like, "That's racist." I thought it was just some ignorant joke. And then I googled it. They literally torture the dogs and eat them. By the way, this is off topic, but did you read today about that American student, 21-year-old kid who was just sentenced to 15 years in a North Korean labor camp? No. What do you do? He went to North Korea as part of, there's like, he went on this tour group that does travel to North Korea. He stole a banner from the hotel he was staying at. He stole like a banner from like the staff quarters that had like a political slogan on it. And of course, he was caught. And he basically, there's a one-hour trial and they sent it to 15 years of hard labor in one of their labor camps. I know those labor camps are like concentration camps. It's like no joke. So he's, I mean, unless there's some intervention, he's probably going to die there. It's crazy. Well, what do you think you're doing going to North Korea for a vacation? You fucking moron. Have fun working. And he said he stole the banner as like a trophy because someone from his church group told him like, "Oh, bring back a trophy." Someone from his church group told him to steal. I mean, what? I mean, come on now. It's weird because on the one hand, I want to be like, "You are such an idiot. This was avoidable in two ways. If you go to North Korea, your hands are by your side and you're not saying anything. You're not even taking photos. You're doing it. How about read the news, like maybe just a paragraph of the news to know that North Korea wants you fucking dead. Why would you go there? Yeah, they're going to look for any excuse to capture you and use you as like a political pawn if possible. So I mean, it's crazy, but on the other hand, it's like I do feel terrible for him because he's getting like a 15-year concentration camp thing. It's awful. Well, that's one way to give the American youth the work ethic. Seriously. So. But you know, that's actually very relevant to this because we're talking about atrocities in Asia. Well, it's also, yeah, and it's also relevant because why do people fall all over themselves for Dubai? That place, yes, it's the richest, most fabulous place in the world that also has no respect for women and that you'll go to jail for cursing when you guys say the F word every two seconds. Am I going to feel bad for your asses when you all get thrown in jail and Dubai or decapitated? No, don't go there. This is the first time I was wishing that Brandy Glanville went back on the cast because I want to see her go to Dubai and be thrown into a jail. Story Brandy, idiots, they're all like Dubai, really? How about like, you know, in Dubai, if you're like, if you're like a foreigner and you're driving a car or something and someone like a Dubai resident is drunk and they hit you and it's totally, they go through a red light, they're drunk and they hit you. It's your fault because you shouldn't have been there in the first place. Well, yeah, there you go. So have fun on your trip. Sounds great. Yeah. So in the case that like really enjoys shitting on women and make that our destination point, our vacation spot for a show that's supposedly empowering when you fucking know the birds. Not that Beverly Hills is much better towards women either. It's like, okay, so go like take this knife to your face and make it look strange like a joker. Well, at least I don't have to wear a cover over my wig darling. Yeah. That's true too. So anyway, I'm sorry I got a subtract coffee, coffee, coffee. So it's going to be that I'm telling you it's a ranty day. So Yolanda, Yolanda shows up to Camille's house. Yes. Guess what? Not wearing white jeans. You guys, Yolanda is healed. It's like someone slapped her on the head and she's healed them out. I don't know what's happening, but that is definitely healing. Yeah. She has like a little boy haircut now. Yes. I think her hair looks so cute. But there's nothing she really can't do. I mean, she's just beautiful. She's just like beautiful. Although I personally liked it when she had the long hair. I thought she looked super sexy with the long hair, but you know, she's I mean, she's gorgeous. She's gorgeous. By the way, I have great style. I know you'll hate the white pants. I think she's got great style. She's rock. It's cute. The white pants. It's just every episode. I mean, seeing her in two scenes without white pants finally makes me think this woman might be sick. Like something wrong with it. So she hugs Camille, which was funny because I just was thinking disease street fight, like council versus line. Let's go. Come here. And these are two of the funniest housewives ever. And it's funny just watching them talk to each other because Camille does okay, play that clip. Play that Camille thing again. Yeah. Okay. We're going to be celebrating somebody else's. It like makes me laugh just as hard as the first phase when she says that her little squint and then she's pouting her lips that are semi open and she just looks vacant, but she's trying so hard to look like she's she like she starts to sentence off and then she clearly loses steam. So then someone else has to come in and sort of do the rest of it and she'll just sort of, but yeah, yeah, yeah, so sad. It's just that face that squinty open pouty face that she has. That's the face she had. And she's like, thank you so much for coming. You're always so elegant. Now please take my things go by by things at the the auction that the auction. Yes, then your London has to up ego her out ego her and say, Camille, thank you so much for having me. I would support your journey to any I would support any journey that you are on. Yes. So many people don't have the boss to share their journey. I'm like way to say thank you and make it all about yourself again. Exactly. Face off. I mean, just going to the amazing race at this point with all your journeys. Crazy face off. Yeah. Then Lisa. Right. Yeah, but I just, you'll want to stop saying journeys. If you'll want to ever flu coach, you would understand that not wanting to share a journey with other people is totally normal. No one wants to share a journey darling. That's where there's private planes. Yeah. Stupid journeys. Meanwhile, you'll want to friend stairs at Camille's rack. Okay, then Rina comes in and it's like boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. So funny is that, so here's what's funny to me. Early in the season, Rina is like talking to someone off camera and they talk about Yolanda possibly having Munchaus in and if someone else talking about it and Rina engaged, speculated perhaps and she felt so guilty that she went to Vanderpump. She went to, I feel so guilty. I feel so, what should I do? I feel so guilty because I said these things behind her, but I feel so guilty and she goes to talk to Yolanda. Now, Rina has done so much worse. She has said so many worse things. And now there's none of that, none of that. I feel so guilty. I talked behind her back. I was like, so like, to me it's kind of funny that she basically did nothing wrong originally and yet she felt massively guilty for it. But now she's actually talked shit and she's like, ugh, like, I'm just sort of funny that like she doesn't, she's not holding, she doesn't have that same amount of guilt anymore. But that's probably because now Yolanda's been bitchy darn. Yes. And I'm so scared, I'm scared if Yolanda, okay, there I said it. I'm scared because, you know, who knows, like she got mad because I asked her about much outfits. No, she's going to get mad because you're going to do it 20 more times. Yeah, I mean, I mean, Rina's basically following the exact same pattern as she did with Kim Richards last season, but it's fine because I actually agree in both cases. Oh, Rina's such a mess. But of course the tables turn because now she's got me siding with Yolanda of all. Really, I know you're going with that, I think I may agree with you. And I don't even think, I think the whole world agrees. Like she's really just got him off the deep end. I don't know if this is a search for story because maybe she feels boring. I don't know what the hell she's doing, but it doesn't even make any sense. Well, I, I, my feeling is, I agree when Rina says when someone's sick, like it's, it's a lose, lose it. When someone's sick, baby, you can't say anything about them. So I agree. That sort of does suck. But that being said, I'm assuming you haven't stopped her, but I'm assuming you're about to talk about the fact that, um, when Lisa sits down and Yolanda's like, oh, you're sad. And she's like, yeah, I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm just, you know, I'm sad, which is, it was kind of like so overdramatic. And then Yolanda's like, I need to hug you because I feel your emotion. So they hug and then least the reason why Lisa is sad is she's like, well, I just saw a picture of you and Brandy and Kim on the same day that you didn't, you didn't go to Erica's party. And I just, I don't understand why you chose them over Erica. It hurts me. Like, what? I was like, Lisa, Lisa, I've been, I've been cheerleading for you. We've all been rooting for you. Lisa, as Tyra would say, but this was not your battle to pick. This was, you're wasting your, your capital, your argument capital on this. This was, this was not an argument to be made, especially in front of Erica who doesn't give a fuck. This was, this was, this was something that should have been put in the file as evidence of shadiness, but not an argument to be had directly with Yolanda. It's not about you, especially when you're doing it right in front of Erica who didn't give a fuck. So you've got Lisa, Rina and Erica sitting there eating nothing, which I thought was very telling, because they're the ones who are always insisting that they eat. And they're watching Yolanda who probably usually never eats eat noodles, which, I mean, that's newsworthy next to Eileen, who's sitting there in her terrible clothes, also eating noodles, just looking at Rina like you better say something. And then Rina tries to start this fight and pretend she's crying about something that has nothing to do with her. And Yolanda tries to stay very, oh, understand, you know, she tries to stay very Zen, but then man, she starts a busting because Rina will not let it go and keeps up. But why? But why? I just don't understand why you would do that. But why would you do that? Why would you do that? Baby. Own it, baby. And Yolanda, I feel her energy because, you know, maybe, you know, maybe I've turned psychic or something from being six or long. When you're so alone, you become very open to the very emotionally raw, I'm like, what are you talking about? If anything, if you're like an isolation, you become more disconnected from people. Yes, I've been in my house so long that now I'm psychic. Yeah. Yeah. But this was, this was a stupid, this was a stupid battle for Lisa Rina. Like, it was, you know, Yolanda was right, if Erika didn't have a problem with it, then Lisa should just drop it. I mean, like I said, I think it's something if down in the, down the line, if there's a larger argument about Yolanda and her questionable behavior, you can say, well, it's weird, like, for instance, you do this and then you don't do that, but this was not, this was not the argument. And of course she already knows what Yolanda's going to say. We all do. Yolanda's like, I am like, I am like one of these electric cars with only a tiny gas tank. So I only have tiny gas in me. There was no plug to plug in, I could make it to park, but I could not make it to Pasadena because car electric save environment. Oh my God. What did you think she was going to say? And then Rina's like, well, now you can't say anything because she's sick. Like you've said something every episode, what are you talking about? I love, I love how variable Yolanda's gas tank is. Like she has enough gas to have lunch with Kim and Brandy, but she can't go to dinner party and yet she later on has enough gas to fly across country and then at night go up to a suite and then have drinks and cocktails and go up to the rooftop and then entertain people. So interesting. She was getting drunk for, drunk for Kim's birthday, she can't be driving to Pasadena after that. I mean, it's a long day like sitting with Kyle and, I mean, Kim and Brandy has to be painful enough without then having to drive to Pasadena. Okay, look, just say I didn't go to Erika's party because she married an old person who lives an hour away. Okay, that's why. Yeah. You know, get a better place or have a party at McDonald's or whatever, like any other housewife would. Yeah. Um, let me see. Rina won't drop it. This is seriously, I'm trying to spin passes because this is when it starts getting really good. Well, they are, I mean, the issue gets so convoluted because then it's like, well, why would you take a picture? Well, Brandy put up the picture. Well, then why would you know, it has real hashtags, real friends, but like, how could you say the real friends? Whatever. And then Eileen's like, it's not about the picture. And it's just, it was so convoluted. And it was honestly, this Lisa was on the wrong side of this one. Yeah. And it was literally about the picture. So Eileen's standing up for Lisa, but she doesn't even know what she's talking about because Lisa's going, why would you hashtag it real friends? I mean, they're your real friends. We're not. You know, London's like, I didn't take this picture. It's not on my Instagram. It's like, yeah, but it was still there. And it says like, hashtag real friends. Yeah. Okay. But I didn't put this hashtag. So I don't know, but then what do you want her to argue about? You want her to apologize for Brandy Glanville calling her a real friend? Come on. What are you fighting about? Yeah, I think, yeah, this was, this was, this was a, a backfire on that. But I have trust issues. Now, this is where, this was where I like Yolanda when she just snaps a bitch down and stops this phony victim bullshit, when she's like, Oh, really, I had trust issues with you for a long time, because you tell me all this thing you start about imagining things, telling people, I eat after smoking the marijuana. So there you go. Imagine fast and tooth and tooth. You can say this word. Okay. So I trust, I don't trust you neither. But the funny thing is that, no, well, Yolanda was the first one. I think we said that she had trust issues. And the funny thing is that Yolanda is still mad at Lisa Rinna for even mentioning the word Munchausen when the truth is Lisa Rinna went directly to Yolanda to apologize. For even engaging in it, you know, and, and, and basically, you know, suddenly saying, like, I'm sorry, I brought this up on camera. And Yolanda is like jumping down, is still mad at her about that when actually Lisa Rinna did the right thing. If you think about it, she, well, she'll talk about it on camera on purpose. Then she went to her house to get her to try and confront her about it on camera when, of course, you can't do that. Like, what are you going to have a Munchausen fight on camera? Like you're still doing it on camera. And she's done nothing but talk about it on camera ever since. Yolanda knows, like, Yolanda's an idiot, but she's-- Yolanda's the one who's a smart idiot, you know, Yolanda's the one who actually made this story have legs because, because Rinna was sitting there, and I'm like, like, oh, my baby, like, I, you know, I feel terrible. I, I engaged in this. And it was all, I don't see, as a viewer, it was like, oh, Rinna, you're being ridiculous, you know? And then she goes and apologizes. And all Yolanda needs to do is like, it's, it's fine, like, whatever. And then it would be, be over. But then Yolanda goes, she shows up and she acts nice, and then Rinna is like, I sense that we still have a problem. No, no, no, no, no. It's because Yolanda then was started then going on a hate, started going on this, like, campaign. She's like, you know, first it was about at least, it was Lisa Vanderpump and Kyle. And then she starts getting, and then she's like, you know, the next episode I got so mad at Lisa Rinna, and all of a sudden, Yolanda starts coming at them, coming at her. And then, like, Yolanda could have just let it die. She really could have. I mean, you know, you could say, like, Lisa, it's, it's weird. This is where we always differ a little bit because, you know, the cynic in us believe that when Lisa was mentioning, like, I was engaging this conversation, I just feel terrible about it, that she is sneakily just trying to put on camera, right? That's the cynic in us. And then when she goes to apologize to Yolanda, she's cynically trying to further it. But, um... Yeah, it's not what I think. Right. But, I forget what my point was. I just think that, like, where'd you get those shoots? Easy. They're from DSW. Because DSW has the exact right shoes for whatever you're into right now. You know, like the sneakers that make office hours feel like happy hour. The boots, the turn grocery isles into runways, and all the styles that show off the many sides of you, from daydreamer to multitasker and everything in between, because you do it all in really great shoes. And a shoe for every you, at your DSW store or DSW.com. Why get all your holiday decorations delivered to Instacart? Because maybe you only bought two rees but have 12 windows. Or maybe your toddler got very eager with the advent calendar. Or maybe the inflatable snowman didn't make it through the snowstorm. Or maybe the twinkle lights aren't twinkling. Whatever the reason, this season, Instacards here for hosts and their whole holiday haul. Get decorations from the Home Depot, CVS and more through Instacart. And enjoy free delivery on your first three orders. Service fees and terms apply. Yolanda fell for it. And now Yolanda is the one who's now turned it into a much bigger deal than it needed to be. Well I don't even, obviously this whole season that we've talked about this, I think Yolanda is totally full of shit. I always have. And I've never liked Yolanda. Like ever. I think she's awful. But... I used to like her a lot. I just always thought she was awful. Especially when she was like, "Your husband abuse me!" Like when Ken touched her arm. Like fuck her. She's horrible. You can't trust a person like that. So even though when this original scene happened, I said right then and there, this was Rinna doing this on camera because Kyle and Lisa had been talking about it with. I mean I've always been anti-Yolanda but still I think Rinna's full of shit. But I've still been on her side because she's, I agree with her. So I'm like, "Ha ha, like that's funny." But now she's just not letting it go and it's just going crazy. And she's like, "We need to talk. Maybe we should talk about these feelings." It's like, "What did you just do?" And Yolanda does that like super fast shrug where it's not a shrug. It's like, "Oh." Yolanda shut her down. Yolanda won that one. Yolanda like, fully was like, "I'm gonna bring out my European bitch right now and I'm just gonna shut you down, Rinna." And then it just went up in this weird place where it's like, "We're in work in progress, baby. Like me in Daphne Zinega." Yes. And rightly so that Yolanda shut her down. She doesn't owe you an explanation for going to someone's birthday lunch. But of course, Yolanda, don't you remember when it was your birthday? I called out your birthday and came to support you because it's your birthday journey. I'm like, "What are you? A free Starbucks on somebody's birthday?" But that was sly. That was really sly of her. Yolanda keeps everything in her quote unquote "evolved." She keeps tabs on everything and everyone. Everyone says that Lisa Vanderpump holds grudges. No. Yolanda's the one who has got a file on everything she's done for every person and what they haven't done for her. I guarantee it. Yes. And I see in a way what Rinna's trying to do because she's like, "Okay. I can't talk to Yolanda that way. I can't talk to her that way. So maybe I'll try Yolanda's way of just being a victim and sitting here and pretend crying because maybe if this is like, "Now I'm a victim and I'm crying," she'll get it and she'll like relate and then we can talk but it doesn't work. She just looks stupid like a victim and then Yolanda's like, "You know, I'm tired. Bite." And she gets up and Rinna's like, "Well, don't worry, we're going to talk about it. It's a work in progress everybody. Don't worry." Well, you never talk about it again. Where is Erica during this? Did I miss it? Like why did Erica pipe up and say, "I don't give a fuck. I don't care." She did. She did. She was like, "What am I going to tell you? I'll come to my house with a swollen brain. I don't give a fuck." Erica probably should have been the one to say, "Listen Lisa, it was my party. I didn't mind. So I don't give a fuck. So shut up." She kind of did but I think it was just, you know, she just can't let them air out. Yeah. She needs to do it. She needs to let them do it. Yolanda's never in scenes with everybody, so that's fine. And Katherine's sitting there. I wasn't Katherine there too. Just watching with Travis. She's like, "Yeah, all the other girls joined. I think the other girls joined because Lisa and Lisa and her mom and Kyle were just making a cut of everybody in cackling in a corner." They're like, because when Yolanda hugged Lisa, that's when Lisa and her mom and Kyle were like, "Oh, they're hugging." And I think Lisa and her mom made the joke like, "Is she leaving? She leaving already?" She's going to put a hand up a skirt darling. Look at that. They're like smiling at each other. Yeah. They were sort of snickering in the corner. And you know what? I allow it. I allow it. Yeah. Me too. I was laughing so hard. Yeah. It's so funny how this show can make you change sides week to week. Honestly. I'm like, "Shut up, Rina." And you know, yeah. Well, I... But I... I'm still on Lisa's side. I've never been pro Eileen either, but now I'm officially completely anti-Eileen. Fuck that woman. Okay, but we'll get... I'm moving towards... I see. I really love Eileen, but I am really not on her side with any of her shenanigans. I love... I love all the characters Eileen played on days. I think she deserves 8 million Emmys and I will be imitating them. You're me, Kristin. Me, me, me. I will be doing that for the rest of my life, but the real Eileen on this show, fuck off, lady. I like the real Eileen, but I would... I have some notes for her. I have some notes for her, for her persona. So let's get into the really important part of the episode, is there a new swan in the pond? There's a lot of swans going on this time. There's like two white swans, two gray swans now, and they were all together, and at first I thought, "Oh my god, Hanky's getting along with the other swans," but then it cuts to Hanky, sitting alone, looking at everybody with this dane. Big long shot of Hanky. Mm-hmm. Alone. Lonely Hanky, looking at all the other people having fun. Aww. Hanky. Be nice to Hanky. Be nice to Hanky. They won't. But it's Hanky's fault in the end. Isn't that the truth? And in that what's kind of happening with La La to you? Hanky's like, "Quack, quack, wrap it up. Quack, quack." Okay. No taking. That wasn't to you. I was just making a comment. No, I know. I'm just playing. So Catherine comes over to Lisa and Kin's house to talk about this Yulin event, and then I Googled it, and like cried and barfed. Yeah. Farf cried. That's disgusting. What the holy fuck, China? Okay. So we can move on from this. Yeah. So basically Lisa is organizing this event. Is this one Lisa started crying? She's like, "This is her fake crying. That's her fake housewife crying about it." I love it. Oh, the people and dogs I care about the dogs. But no tears are coming out. That's the housewise cry right there. I love it. So they're going to go to the Chinese embassy, and Kyle, of course, is going to come to see if there's any Chinese kids who can make her new line of her jeeps. She was just going to see if it would be a fat burger truck there. That's how to protest, bring questionable meat to a China protest. So let me see here, Katherine's like, "Oh, why don't you let me hold your dog? Why don't you let me hold your dog, Lisa?" Or Katherine can't get used to not yelling. Yeah, the dog is like covering its ears. And then Lisa did something where she's like, "I like that, Katherine. You know, she's just real." I'm like, "Of course, because she's on your side." You love an idiot who's on your side, like a blind idiot who will do whatever you say. And then, of course, the reward is that when Katherine says she's going to take part in the march, then she's allowed to hold the dog. Yes. And Lisa even literally said, "All right, darling, you're on my side so you can hold the puppy." So they're going to go to Dubai, blah, blah, blah, dog merch. So Maury and Kyle are having some dinner at some place. I'm assuming one of their family members own that they're getting it. Yeah, I was like in Malibu. Like Malibu Cafe or something. Yeah, but they're not wearing anything with Maury's logo. So I'm proud of them. Yeah. Good job. Yeah. So they're all there, except who's not there? Erica. She's gonna fuck. Yeah. I'm trying to see. I'm trying to see both of them. Erica and was Yolanda there? No, Erica and Yolanda weren't there. So it starts. Oh, yeah. So now we get into this. Oh, here we go. Yeah. So here we go. I don't even... I'll see. I have to say... We were multiple paragraphs. I don't even know how you wrote a recap of the scene because the conversation almost like did not make sense, like the the amount of bouncing around between like accusations of deflection versus weird uses of evidence of former conversations and random small things from last season. And it was just, it was so, I had trouble following it. I recapped it and then I read like, you know, everything I see is like declarative. I'm like, "I'm emphatic," even if I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. So I got to that sentence where I was like, "I'm blah, blah, blah." And then I thought, "Wait, is that even right?" And then I tried reading it back and I didn't even understand the recap. So I had to go back and press pause and see exactly what they were saying to even get it because it's so cuckoo and so senseless. It's like cuckoo senseless and it doesn't even matter. That's, it's like stupid. Okay, so they start, everybody's happy and trying to have a fun time. Pop, pop, pop, let me see here. Yeah. And then Mauricio is like, "I can't go to the march because, you know, work or whatever." And Ken's like, "Ugh, what a good friend, you're not coming to my march then. What kind of friend doesn't support the march?" You know, you didn't build a house for four people either. Yeah. So he's all pissy. And then that turns into everybody backing out. It starts with Rina, who ended up going. But she's like, "I don't know because Harry Hamlin doesn't want me to drive down there by myself." I've been, I've been around a long time baby and those streets, those streets are new and I don't know, I don't know them baby. Downtown doesn't go in squares anymore, how do you know where you are? So then is Eileen's turn. She's like, "Well, I would love to go to your dog torture ceremony, but unfortunately, it's my only day off and I just need a day off." And Lisa goes, "Well, I'd love it to us only, not to either." Yes. Well, I'd love a day off too, but you know, this is very important. So, she's like, "That one is not important to Boris." Yeah. Yeah. Of course, Lisa's being a huge grandma victim, as usual, being like, "Uh, could she to the dogs?" But that's all she said. Okay. So now we have to skip to real life. Well, no, no. Well, because Lisa did not say that. She said, she said to Eileen something like, "Well, it doesn't..." She started saying, "Well, it doesn't..." And then she's... Yeah, she said, "I only want people there who really care." Yeah. That's what it was. Really passive aggressive. Yes, it was. Which is total Lisa, you know. Yeah. Like... Congratulations on hating dogs. She did, you know, say... she did do her Lisa victim thing, which she doesn't every argument. Yeah. But in her defense, fuck off! Let your day off. Get out of here. This is work. This is a show you're shooting and you're purposely not going to go to the, like, one event. Get out of here, Eileen. Well, she should have just come up with an excuse. Like, I mean, it has to work. That's it. Why does she have to say it's my day? Like, she's making it a point to say, "I am off tomorrow, but I need a day." Yeah. That's like the worst thing to say to someone who is asking for charity. Like, literally everyone knows that if you don't want to participate in something with charity, you just say, like, "I can't make it. I'm so sorry." But here, let me donate. If you really feel bad, like, can I donate or something? Yeah, but not like, I have a free day, but I need an app. Yeah. Have fun with your tortured dogs. But I didn't even feel, like, pissy with Eileen at this moment, like when I was watching it, I didn't care. That stuff comes later. But I want to skip to real life really quick because this is what's happening on Twitter with it. And thank you, Cindy, on the case case for posting these things for us. So, first is Lisa Vanderpump. Okay. Lisa is responding to Eileen's blog. And this is a quote from Eileen's blog, "Lisa v. support of the Stop Ulin Forever is wonderful. I was invited to the protest, but I couldn't go. Obviously, it's because I'm a total sociopath who wants all dogs, even my own, to be tortured, been murdered, then eaten from my own entertainment, or at least that's what it seemed Lisa v. was insinuating at dinner. I'm not going to apologize for being a working mother of a 12-year-old who made the decision to spend a day at home with her son. Should I have to? I guess next week, all of us and our issues are packing up and headed to Dubai. I wonder if there are any dogs there, I can murder." So that's a bit much. That's a bit much. Also, I don't think that Lisa wasn't insinuating that, that's a little bit extreme. Yeah. So, Lisa was saying, "Your day off is more important than, you know, towards your dogs. Great. Have a good day off." She was being a guilt-monger, but, I mean, come on, Eileen, like too much. Too much. You just said, "Come on, Eileen. Come on, Eileen. Shut up. Can I come and get your own story? I will say this in Eileen's defense. This is, it's not to take away from the cause because it's a very noble cause and it's terrible what's happening to these dogs, et cetera, but this is also a very, very specific charitable cause that, you know, I think, you know, there are, for me personally, I think that there are just larger things that I would rather, you know, give up my day, like, to have to go from Malibu all the way down to MacArthur Park to do a march for dogs that are being slaughtered in China, I mean, it's like a, you know, it's a legitimate cause, but like, maybe, you know, I don't totally, I don't ding her necessarily. I would want to go either. Yeah. It sounds painful as hell to me. I don't blame her for not wanting to go. I just think that it's when you're on a TV show and you're pissed off at Lisa and trying to talk shit about her in every episode to her face and behind her back. And then she has an event and then you don't go. That's like a slam. It's like if you don't like somebody, but you still don't invite them to your party in normal life, that's normal, but on a housewives show, you're like kind of refusing to shoot with that person. Yeah. It's like different on a housewives show. So it's like bitchy or on a housewives show. Yeah, it is. It is somehow. So and that's how they all get at each other. They don't go to each other's thing. But the end of this, this is that Lisa tweeted back, she says, I do have great empathy for humans and support many causes important to me at YouTube, whatever blah, blah, blah. And then she puts at the end at Eileen underscore Davidson, read your blog. And then it's just an emoji of her giving her the finger. It's just the fuck you emoji. Oh, goodness. Here we go. Oh, real world. Okay. So back to the back to the show. So after Lisa makes this incredibly past regressive comment, Eileen, that's when Eileen's like, all right, you know, let's, you know, let's clear the air. We have to discuss. We have to discuss. So it's like, here we go again. Yeah. I think still feel awkward between me and Lisa Vanderpump because, uh, and then, uh, here we go. Same old shit. But it's a little different this time because then we get a flashback to three days ago in a minivan, um, Lisa Rina tells Lisa Vanderpump that, Oh, well, you know, Eileen said that you're manipulative. Uh, like, Rina, what are you doing? Yes. I mean, I get it. I know what you're doing. You are moving the story along, but real in, in like a real world, like, why would you say that? Why would you do that? I mean, these were so stupid. So she tells Vanderpump that, yeah, she says, Eileen says you're manipulative and then apparently they have this conversation on the bus that we don't see the whole thing, which is Beverly Hills is also, they also classically leave out parts of scenes and then show them a year later. So wait for the end of this. So we're watching. So though, yes, though, except it doesn't make sense backwards or forwards. Yeah. Uh, so this apparently was them on a bus. She said Eileen calls you manipulative and then it didn't show what Lisa said. But when they cut back to the table and Lisa is saying, Lisa says, okay, what, what is it exactly that you guys are saying? What is it that I've done exactly that is the reason that you're saying I'm manipulative. Yeah. And they start trying to come up with stuff and Rina, Rina's like, well, and then Vanderpump says, oh, like the time in Dubai when I'm manipulated to go or Amsterdam, when I manipulate it, if you into going shopping with Kim and then they show a clip of Lisa, like, let's all make up and go shopping, right, which I'm only, we're only left to guess that she brought that up because that's what the thing was in the bus. Like you're manipulative like that time in Amsterdam when you tried, because why else would she bring that up? That's so random. Yeah. It was, that was such a bizarre, like piece of, like, like a evidence or whatever, like a bizarre example of manipulation. And then Lisa was like, all right, well, I was just trying to make things better. That's all. Yeah. She was. I mean, and then she said, did I manipulate her to saying, I love you? And then it cuts to the dinner where she's like, Kim, you're a good person, okay? And I love you, Kim, Bredger, it's like, did I manipulate that? And I lean is getting pissed because she's like, that's not what we're talking about. That's not what we're talking about is the manipulation thing. Well, yes. You brought up manipulation. She asked you why she's manipulative. You haven't been able to name one thing except something from the bus that possibly, Rinna mentioned that happened in Amsterdam that she's now defending herself again. That's what she's talking about, Eileen. What do you want her to talk about? Like, it's exactly what you set up. Exactly. And what did I mean comes back again? And she goes, look, that's not what we're talking about. I mean, it's, and Rinna's like, yeah, I don't know. Rinna's head is so confusing. Rinna is like, you know what, Rinna looks at this point, Rinna is like the little board game trouble when you push down the thing and the dice goes bouncing around in the little plastic thing. That's what's going on inside Rinna's head right now. Someone just keeps popping Rinna's head and the die inside her head is like, whoa. She is just like, she is trying to keep up. She's like, wait, who's set am I on? And if I say this, am I being manipulated right now or am I thinking for myself, right? I can't tell. She is just like consuming. No one makes it easier because Eileen's like, oh, so manipulation. I mean, look, Lisa, someone calling you manipulative. It's not like I'm reinventing the wheel here. Yeah. Which is true. It doesn't really make sense, but I guess what she's trying to say is that everybody already knows that, which of course, so why does it need to be your fucking storyline, lame ass. Well, and then why you mad at it? If you know someone's manipulative and manipulative and then you feel that you're being manipulated or whatever, then why you mad? You knew what you were getting and what you were dealing with. And so Rina starts going, you know, Poppyhead and she goes, okay, maybe it's not manipulation. Maybe it's just directional, okay, like she directs people in one way like how fucking spineless are you that that's all you need is someone to say something and then you go off and you set off and start like a season long campaign against somebody like get the fuck over it, lady, okay? If some if you're that easy to be manipulated, how are you not in a labor camp at this point, honestly, I don't believe it. You're too rich to be easily manipulated and then Kyle, Kyle said something right around your right. Shoot. Well, we'll know. This is when Kyle starts saying. Kyle's. Oh, there she is. Again. The selecting. Eileen. So we have a second. Hold on. Cause she goes, why are you even talking about Kim? Okay. So then the questions about Vanderpump, Rina brings up Lisa asking, okay. So this is where the bipolar thing comes up. So Rina goes, it's like when you were telling me, no, Eileen brings it up. Yeah. He says, this is the bipolar thing we're talking about that Yolanda called Rina bipolar, which how does that have anything? Oh, so the thing was the thing that they were talking about was that Lisa, Lisa supposedly called and texted Lisa, Lisa Rina and was like, aren't you so mad that Yolanda called you bipolar? Aren't you so mad? I would be mad. That's what they, that's what they allege, which I actually can't believe. Yes, I do too. Well, the first time Rina says it, it's like, it's like when you were talking about manipulative and you said, aren't you more upset? Yes. Why aren't you so upset? And Lisa didn't deny it. Yeah. She was like, Oh, you never texted you. I never texted you. Well, the first time Rina said it, Lisa didn't deny anything. She just let the conversation go. Then they started talking about other stuff, then Eileen brought it back around to this bipolar thing. She's like, wait, this is bipolar thing. I mean, look, look, Lisa, here's what I'm saying. Rina told me, she told me that you call her and you text her and you kept talking about this Yolanda thing. And as if Vanderpump, wait, I didn't text you. She went, wait, I didn't text you. And Rina said, okay, then you called me and she said, we don't speak on the phone. She goes, we, we have spoken on the phone. And Vanderpump does. Well, today I called you and she said, no, these strange defense. Oh, yes. Today, yes. She's getting Bill Clinton, like technical about shit. Well, what's, she never denied saying it. Well, the, the, here's one thing that makes me upset about Lisa because, you know, I love her. I love her. And I always think that even through all this bullshit, I always feel like she's in the right. But she defends herself badly when she's, when she's called, like when, when I call her shit, like, like what, like what, what happened with magazine scandal, tabloid scandal two seasons ago. In this case, she should have been like, darling, yeah, well, I mean, I, yes, we talked about it because I was, I was wondering, like, did it upset you? I wasn't trying to manipulate you. I was actually, I was wondering, you know, like, she could have just, she could have just said that. She could have just said, yeah, I did say that to you because I was just curious. And Rinna was pissed off the first, I'd like to point out that Vanderpump, of course, called her and was like, aren't you going to tell off your lander? Of course she did. But that's not manipulation. That's girls talking on the phone. Yeah. First of all, and second of all, we started all of this who I lean, I lean went back to Rinna and said, Oh, well, Yolanda, they even show a clip of it with I lean stomach hanging out of that cutout dress. That was the most unfortunate scene and I love that they showed it again. And she's like, well, Yolanda suggested that you're bipolar. And then Rinna sets off because that's when she said, well, Yolanda may not have said I'm bipolar, but by suggesting it on TV, she is saying it, which is the same thing she did. So she's already being a hypocrite. And I lean was the one who started all this in the first place and I lean to one trying to manipulate Rinna. Exactly. And we haven't even gotten to the scene in the luggage store, which is like, which is from everything. So the thing is that like, yeah, that's the thing, you know, that, you know, because Lisa Vanderpump, I think what happens is when she gets attacked, she doesn't have her thoughts together yet. She doesn't want her words to be used against her. So the first thing she does is she always just denies. She always says, no, no, no. But the truth is she could have just been like, yeah, as curious, you know, we're talking about it. Like, you know, the way, like you said, the way girls talk, like, you know, like what didn't that upset you? That would have upset me. You know what you should do? Because, you know what, by the way, those are like normal conversations that people have. Like what should you say? What should you say in that situation? You know? Yeah. Angie, our friend Angie, she was just, she was texting, like me and our other friend David earlier about a situation she was having and just asking, like, wonder what, and I would say, well, you should say this, or you could say this, or you could say this, it doesn't mean I'm manipulating Angie. I'm just saying, like, this is what I think, you know, or like, you know, and I'm sure I will probably text later and say, oh, so whatever happened with that situation or what did you say? Oh, what did you know? That's what people talk. Yeah. People talk. People talk. Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Okay. Okay. I like when, when Lisa told Lisa, when, Vanderpump told Brenna, yes, darling, but the reason I do, I, I ask you of these things is because you have a delayed reaction to things, yeah. And when you're smiling and you're fighting with it, and then in the next minute, you know, you're throwing glasses at Turkey mix, you know, I mean, I was supposed to do about it, darling. And I was like, that's true. I do do that. That's so true. Lisa. That's true. I own that baby. I own it. I lean gets all mad. She's like, no, no, no. That's not what we're talking about. Hi, lean. Get a fucking story already. So now the argument is not whether Lisa mentioned it to Yolanda because Lisa already said that she asked her about it. She'd never denied it. Now it's whether it was on I message or whether it's a phone call. And now the next four weeks is going to be this big proof that Rena has been called by Lisa or some shit. And then Kyle comes in trying to fix the situation, which she doesn't. She's like, well, you know, I think, you know, we're all like, well, no, someone says, well, just a lot of strong, strong women, but then, then like, we just, you're a strong woman and you're a strong woman. And then Kyle's like, well, actually, I don't think Lisa is a strong woman. I think she's a follower. I'm a reticose. Hey, I'm a strong woman. A strong woman doesn't whine about not being a strong woman. You should have seen me and Josie Bissette in 1991 taking a road trip across the country. I was a strong woman doing my Thelma and Louise. Sometimes Josie Bissette locked herself out of the house and I had to lift her up the window. I mean, that's strength. That is strength right there. Baby, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Have you ever burned down Melrose Place? That's strength. Okay, baby. Hey, baby. One time I challenged Doug Savant into an arm wrestling match. Okay, baby. And I won. That's right. Baby. And I own it. Whoa, whoa, whoa. My-- Oh, okay. --is a real laugh guy. So crazy something, by the way. This-- Wait, what did you say? I said my Lisa Rinalath has gotten so crazy. I wonder how it sounds with people at home. Like in their ears like that. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. We've been asked multiple times. Please stop. Lisa Rinalath, you're killing me. We can't. We can't. Sorry. Sorry. Okay. So let me see. I just-- Who's trying to manipulate again? Eileen is so bad at this, that she's like getting frustrated and almost hitting the table because she cannot get her way. Girl, you are the worst. You've been trying-- you've manipulated this whole thing from the beginning and your fingerprints are all over it and you're on camera doing it, okay? So I don't know who you think you're kidding. Yeah. Calling Lisa Vanderpump manipulative. Of course she's manipulative, but she's good at it. You suck. But it also-- It also doesn't have anything to do with Eileen's central issue, like maybe it does. Her main issue is that she's upset, obviously, from the thing with the Hamptons, right? And she's upset because, you know, she was annoyed at Lisa and she didn't get the apology that she wanted, which is a legit, you know, issue to have. And she's just been really resentful that maybe she thinks the manipulation pertains to it because she feels like Lisa is manipulating a situation to make Eileen look like the crazy one, which she sort of is being. But like, at this point, by her now going on this campaign about how Lisa's manipulative, Eileen is really like, what does this have to do with your real central issue with her? It's just, you know, now she's just angry at Lisa and now, you know. I think it was like that from the beginning when she started that whole thing with Vanderpump and Palm Springs. I think Lisa Vanderpump was being bitchy. Eileen couldn't shoot it down and then has now turned it into a season long thing that doesn't even have to do with that. I mean, if people just started watching this show a few weeks ago, they wouldn't even know what Eileen's talking about because she still refuses to say Lisa was suggesting that I'm a husband stealer at that dinner party and it was embarrassing. She still won't say it because it's true and she won't own up to it. So for someone who wants everybody to own up to their own shit all the time, how about you talking about the fact that you're on your third marriage and you stole this one flat out cheated with him for three years? Just a minute. No one cares. You're in Beverly Hills, girl. I think that Eileen, she did not, whatever the issues are that bother her about it, she didn't really present them to Lisa Vanderpump correctly and so Lisa just gets this one version and is like, "Uh, okay, whatever." So then Eileen doesn't get the apology that she wants and it burns her up inside. You know what the sad thing is, as much as I'm trashing Eileen, I've been there a million times because I'm a pass address a little bitch and if a small thing can really annoy me and then the resentment just builds on me and the next thing you know, I am trashing a person. So I get it. It doesn't mean it's right though. It's my fault. Well, if she had never talked about it with her and that one little thing kept building and building and finally she had the nerve and she just blew up, that would actually be somewhat understandable but she's talked about it, she's gotten multiple apologies about it. She's had like lunches behind the back to talk about it on camera about how terrible she is and how blah, blah, blah, it's like, "You've done way worse than she ever did. She made a snotty comment at a dinner party. You've made the entire season about trying to bring somebody down that's just plain smarter than you, girl. Sorry. You're terrible." And again, again, I do also believe, as I said last week, I do think that they're, and as Catherine echoed, there's a cultural issue for sure. I do think they just don't communicate with each other. They're not hearing each other because, again, there's, I think, that Lisa Vanderpump has crusty British humor and Eileen is more of a sensitive soul and they're just not hearing each other. And I think, you know, that actually, I think, accounts for a huge amount of it too. And when Catherine said it, I forget if it was now or if it was on the plane or something, when Catherine was like, "I just think that they had a cultural issue." I kind of think at the core, if we just want to look at it as really the crux of it, I think that's the crux of it, that's the truth. Well, I think it's also a cultural issue that the American girl has to make a huge drama out of fucking nothing and keep it going on the entire time. And the British one? Whereas the British one is just like, they call her passive aggressive. She's not really. She's aggressive. Like, she's just aggressive. She doesn't really do it in a passive way. She might be funnily aggressive, but she was aggressive. I mean, I think that she was going after Eileen in a way that you don't. But I do. I think that she was. I think Lisa was being a total bitch. I think it's just how you deal with it after. These people are amateurs. They cannot do it. Eileen then, of course, goes off to have another scene with Rina about their shopping. And for Eileen is in this Laura Ashley flower, Febreze, terrible dress. It's like a soft-core luggage shop. It's like a soft-core, skin and max 1994. That luggage shop was one of those strip mall things on Fairfax. It's like a little tiny thing with some guy in the back going, "I make $50," and they're like $20. Okay, $20. That's like, that's the luggage shop. Yeah. And it goes into fucking Eileen again. But I can't believe she treated me like that in the Hamptons. And now, look, Lisa, now she's manipulated you because then she and Kyle teamed up and they turned the whole thing into being about you and how you're the one who's weak instead of it being about how they manipulated you. It's like, you're not even manipulating. Now you're just flat-out ordering. And Rina has these big, saucer eyes, and she's just nodding going, "Yeah, you're right. You're right. They did do that." I'm like taking notes. And now she can go yell at them for what Eileen said again. And then at one point, Lisa was like, "Huh?" She was like, "She didn't follow the logical one point." And then Eileen sort of was like, "Well, you know what, that time when you were like, remember when you were really upset about the bipolar thing?" And so they said this because you were really upset about the bipolar thing and remember that. She was basically like literally just feeding her the lines. I was like, "You are the one being manipulative here." Yes, totally. I mean, please stop. Like, you're just not allowed. You remember when you were upset about that bipolar thing that I was the one to tell you in the first place? Yeah. Remember, aren't you mad about that? Yeah. Don't worry about that right now. Be mad. Be mad. Do it right now. What's it called when you're like trying to do something but then like, "You know what I mean?" And she's putting her hands up to her chest and Eileen goes, "Deflection." Yes, deflection. That's what they were doing. Deflection, right? Yes. You've learned. Good for you. Now, buy me a suitcase. Yeah. I mean, Eileen, you can't go accusing people of being manipulative and then go on camera and literally feed Lisa Renner what her emotional state should be. Ah, I just wrote these two were idiots. Both of these two are fucking idiots. You've got one trying to be a mastermind. Girl, you can't even keep your fucking husband off the internet poker sites. And then you've got the other one trying to say she's a pleaser when she's going out of her way to piss every single person with a cast off on purpose. Well, here's the thing because Eileen was mad because she was like, "You know, I feel like when we met at the beach, you had a lot of things to say but then when you run those other girls, you get intimidated and, you know, it's sort of strange." Manners. Well, it's obviously Eileen was basically trying to manipulate her into saying, "Say the things you said to me to them. Like say something to them." You know? So if I said, "Have the shit out loud that I say to you or to my, you know, my other best friends," I'd be strong up in the street. Yeah. Well, while Renner was like, "Well, I just feel more open with you, baby," and, which is like, that's what's called being like your closer friends by Eileen than you are with them. That's what saves you things to them. And who says at a dinner party, "Hey, Yolanda's totally faking it, right, guys?" Ha ha ha! No, it's rude. Who are you, Eileen? That's why you ain't got no friends, Eileen. So they, then this is the best, I think the best part of the episode, even though this was all nuts, Renner whips out her biggest weapon, her cell phone. That's like Renner, Wikipedia is Renner's machine gun, for whatever reason. Unfortunately, she hasn't learned to shoot it yet. She breathes it, and she's like, "Scape go." A person that is used to lay the blame on someone else for all that goes wrong. No. A person, object, or thing that is used to lay the blame on for all that goes wrong. Really? Okay. So who called you bipolar? Yeah. Yolanda. Who told you, Eileen? So who's the scapegoat? Yeah, I don't think this is blaming for everything right now. I actually don't think that there's any, yeah, as I say, I don't think, the only one who's really a scapegoat is Lisa, in this case. Literally just to find what they're doing to Lisa Vanderpals. Oh, fuck wrong. I mean, with the comments about the kids, with now the manipulation, with everything, Lisa's the scapegoat here. Vanderpals. Specifically. So it's like, this is the thing that makes me nuts, because Lisa is wrong in so many situations. If one of you had a fucking ounce of brain in you, it wouldn't be that hard to take her down, but you're all too stupid to do it. Keep trying, darling. Get back in line. All right, let's go watch some dogs, get tortured, just counting. So what's so next? After the luggage plan? Well, this was actually, I went out of order a little bit. They did the March on Ulyn. They show up at some park. With a fountain. MacArthur Park. Yeah. And walk around it and then start protesting at a church. Yeah, they had like a really disorganized march. They're sort of like wandering the streets and they files like, uh, the Chinese embassy is down the street. They're actually at a church right now, like, well, child molestation to you, then, darling. That was a busy day, darling, like three things I protested that day. Yeah. Stop you in forever, stop you in ever, then come to pump. Yes, they've always got to add their brand at the end. Save the dogs. Now let's have a drink at pump. The new pump session CD is out. Let's go listen. No one has tortured the $35 salmon it pump. Save the dogs, but not the tuna, tuna tartar for everyone. So next up is Erica Jane and the rest of the gang over in New York. They're going on the private plane. Don Rickles. Privately. I got five. Five private. I don't give a fuck. Southwest. Uh, South-Bast. I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. So Erica. So Erica, I can't put down my tray because we're about to take off. I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. My tray. I be using Wi-Fi right now. I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. Gotta put my seatbelt on. Fine. I don't give a fuck. I'm going to talk to myself, honestly, take off. Yeah, that's right. I don't give a fuck. That's right. I don't give a fuck. No, I can recline because we're in the air. I don't give a fuck. I'll recline now. Maybe I'll recline later. I don't give a fuck. I'll come whatever I want. You think I don't eat? Fuck you, I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck, girl. So they all get on the plane and Catherine, who suddenly has hearing again and now feels bad about not hearing all the horrible things that were coming out of her mouth at Don Rickle's house. It goes up and she's like, "I'm going to apologize to the senior citizen." Yeah, she gets her to do it and of course, Yolanda's like, "Oh, look, it's Catherine. Catherine, this is your chance to say sorry to the old person. Okay, do it. Go. You are on." Subtle. Subtle. Yeah, way to go, Yolanda. With him, that also kind of like totally undermines the apology if you think about it. Because it's like if Catherine is about to apologize and then Yolanda's like, "Now you can apologize. It makes you seem like she's only apologizing because Yolanda said something." Yeah. Luckily, it's done with those images here. I'm a good friend to you, Don Rickles, because I made that idiot apologize to you, "Okay." Take deaf people. Enjoy your flight, honey. Now, Erica. Be quiet, Erica. Put down your tray, Erica. Well, you can tell Erica's in her alter personality that's exactly the same as her except it wears baggy, terrible patterns. That's the only difference I can tell so far between Erica Gerardi and Erica Jade. Terrible, baggy clothes with unintelligible patterns. Yeah. Today, she's wearing some kind of like black and white Christmas sweater that's down to her knees. She's wearing a piece sweater. And then it has like a two-faced person in the middle who I'm only assuming is her. Like literally, I think she had herself printed onto a Christmas sweater. Like, "Oh, now you're a lawyer's wife. You're in a sweater." So, so they fly to New York and they come to the hotel and everything and then they go up to the jewel suite where it's a suite that's decorated with jewels, which to me looked ridiculous. But, you know, they were like, "Oh, this is the most beautiful suite in all of Manhattan." And finally, some jewels, they don't go to cancer children or just up stages. They're welcome to the lime jewel suite. Take it, Camille. So then, what was amusing to me was they, they then go upstairs, right? Like at the very first, Yolanda sees a grand piano and she's like, "It's a chance to get my husband to finger me." And she goes and sits at the piano. And she's like, "Look at me playing piano. La, la, da, ka!" and then David's like, "Oh, yeah, good luck with that." "Yeah, play that piano, having fun. Okay, let me show you." And then he comes over and plays. He's a public view bubble. He's such an asshole. And then he's like, "Yeah, only your friends would have plucked for Frere as draca." Like, shut up. "I have a Maria. I had 10 times in a row." I thought he wasn't saying it like your friends, like her friends specifically as shit. I think he was, I thought he was saying like a general note like, "Only your friends will ever clap for that." Either way. I'll take the same way. I'll take the same way. That is how we said it. I'll take it the same way. Well, you're absolutely right in how you heard it and he's still a horrible human being. So then they go upstairs to this, like, view from this balcony and this is what was fascinating to me. Erika, like, flipped her shit. She's like, "Wow!" She's like, "This is amazing! Wow!" And I was like, "This is like the first time we've actually seen Erika show some unbridled emotion." You know? It was like really weird. Did you notice that? No. I didn't. I think the sweater threw me off. Well, she changed. I turned Erika off. Well, she was wearing these, like, high boots. She actually looked great. She was wearing these, like, really high boots and, like, a black mini. Well, she was wearing, like, a dress. I don't know what you call them. Yeah, but she had sleeves and shoulder pads this time, so. I liked it. Where's wife? I liked her look. I thought she looked great. But everybody walked out there and went, "Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow!" But Erika was going crazy. She was like, "Wow! Wow! Wow!" But I thought it was really interesting. It felt like for a second there, she actually did let down her guard. She was, like, emotional. She was expressing excitement. Like, we haven't seen that all season. Emotional. She was saying, "Wow! Really loud." Well, for Erika, that's a lot. For Erika, that is so bad. I know that song. It's the three of us who've just killed the German. Thank you very much. Is that German? British. French. French. Damn. You confusing accents. I also have to point out that when they went into that jewel suite hotel room, they're like, "Well, you should come up and look at the view of New York City. Meanwhile, they're in a high rise, and your London's backdrop is the view of New York City." I know. Or the ceiling window. So it's like, "Look out the window." But now it has packed your furniture. Ooh. Wow! Wow! Wow! So, like, they go upstairs? I like you going. I do give a fuck. Wow! Ron, you're having a delayed reaction, likely Serena. And now I stab you in the throat with a water glass or something. So, this is when Yolanda gives, like, a toast. And she's like, "My love. We got married, and the first thing I did was I went down." I was like, "I'm dead. I'm sure you did." You had to go down in order to get married, darling, after you got married, he went down. Yeah. But the funny thing is, so she's giving a toast to everyone, to all my friends, who support me, my real friends. And I love David Foster. Somewhere around here, he's like, "I'm so glad my wife is out." And she's like, "Yes, it's so great to be out here." And you know, inside, he's like, "No, out of the house. Out of my house." And she literally did that. She's like, "I would like to give a toast to my wife for not being in bed for the first time in 10 months." "Oh, we're going to burn that robe." "We're going to burn that white robe. I'm so sick of it." She's like, "But I look so sexy in the robe." It's like, "Yes, and we're going to burn it." Yeah. Oh. Hugs. Oh. Oh. And then she, of course, "I would do anything for these people who came to my lime opening." Yolanda is acting like she was just cast in the vagina model on it. And people are all flying out there to see her. Like, "I'm on a log." And you know what? I don't think that it's fair for her to shame people who could not fly across the country for a thing. Like, it's just, it's just, it's really unreasonable. If it was one thing if she was having a dinner in Beverly Hills and no one showed up, that I would understand. But like, I mean, asking people to fly across the country, even if it's on bravo's time, even if it's like Erica's thing, that's like a really big ask, I'm sorry. Well, the Lisa's couldn't come, which is too bad that they have more important things to do. But, you know, Brandy or Twitch couldn't come either, but it, you know, it's okay because they're really busy. It's probably better. I'm like, okay. So the Lisa's are assholes, Brandy and Twitch are not assholes, and you don't even mention Eileen, which is why it's considering Eileen just did a paragraph to rating about someone else making a comment like that about her. Like why is it so okay for Yolanda to say that no one's having a fit, but Eileen needs to have a fucking page long rant, and somebody else for saying the same thing. Like what's the difference? Yeah, I hear it. Hypocrit. Hypocrit. So David, we catch David in some, uh, some mic to moments that I don't think he knows where Mike's. Oh, yeah. This is great. Yeah, they're back down in the apartment. And while Erica's telling us, I got by the jewelry, I leave that up the top. If I like something, I email his secretary, the budget, and then I say, wait till he's stopped complaining about me, and then ask him, Oh my God. Great. This sounds like an amazing marriage, yeah, poor, bought, rented car, at least car. Isn't it weird that I was not like offended by that? Because in my mind, I was thinking, well, he probably, he probably wants to get it for her, but maybe I was reading too much into it. I'm not offended. But that woman, her first episode was walking around asking for a budget for pool tiles. That's true. She's a cat. But she knows it. She knows her job. She's a little f*ck. Yeah, she doesn't give a f*ck. Look, I ain't a host gamer, and at least she's a proud hoe that I will always give her. Yeah. At least she's not pretending she earned it. You know, I mean, she did earn it. She earns it every day to weigh. All right. She earns money on her own. She definitely earns money on her own, you know, but, you know, with her badge. Okay. So the next thing, oh, yeah. So the off-mic moment. So David, Kyle is sitting there playing with her hair. I can't believe she still has hair. And next to her is David and David. And what's his face? Don Rickles. Yeah. And, you know, they're just having a normal talk. Don's like, oh, love me. Yeah. I thought it was David and his friend. Wasn't David and his friend. It wasn't Don Rickles. Oh, I thought it was Rickles. It's like some guy named Tom. Was it the two of her queen? Oh. Maybe it was a guy named Tom. Yeah. So he's talking to some guy and he's like, well, you know, how are you, David? Have you been feeling better? Which I thought was sad, Larry, because, you know, David poor his poor friends and they're probably like, God, please just stop talking about your goddamn wife being sick. Like, do you feel better, David? Yeah, I little, but I do a little, but it's a stretch. And he said, well, you know, now you guys can, she's feeling a little better. So now you can get back to where you were. And he goes, I don't know how that's going to happen. Yeah. Well, slam. That was actually, I thought it was actually pretty sad. I thought it was a sad moment. It was sad. I mean, I mean, as much as, as much as David Foster is like a douchebag. I mean, it's sad that it is actually sad that their, their marriage is basically crumbled because of the situation. You know, that's sad. I think, I think it's sad, but I mean, we're laughing about it, but it's sad. I've always thought they were so full of shit. I guess I just don't care. No, I mean, it's not that I care that much, but I feel like when you, when you see that, when you see them putting up a front and you see this, this husband, he's like exasperated. I mean, I mean, listen, David Foster, he's been through so many wives. So that's, you know, whatever, you know, he's, it's a little shallow for him not to, not to be supportive. But at the same time, his wife is gone with Kuku, you know, and, and you can see her, she, she can see that her, her marriage is falling apart. And she's, she's feeling guilty and, you know, it's, I do think, despite all the shit we talk about, like, what, like, what's the disease or whatever, you know, it's sad because you can see she wants to be married to him. She really wants to stay in this marriage and she knows, she knows she's losing it. She knows she, because of her own Michigona, she is losing it and she can't help herself. I'll need to Google this later, but just a warning that I'm not sure if this is absolutely true. I know everybody's shocked, but I think she was the one who filed. I don't think he did. I think she filed from what I read a couple months ago, she filed divorce because he wouldn't pay her medical bills. Like she's going on all of these medical journeys across the country or across the world. And he's like, no, no. And so she is still getting money from Mohammed. So I heard that she's the one who filed against him because she's not going to take that shit. And if she's got to preen up anyway and he's not going to pay, what's the payment of being married to you? She's like, see, so I don't feel bad for her. She's full of shit. She's marrying rich old people to take care of her and when they want to take her back. Well, I don't know if that's true, maybe, you know, if you're right, if I'm wrong, then I agree with you. If I'm right, then fuck her. But I'm the shell of the woman. He lost his wing of man. So, you know, of course he is impatient because I am on my journey. And then they just show David looking away, annoyed over and over again. They showed the same clip of him looking away, I think 10 times. Yeah. It was awkward. Oh, there are a couple of phonies. Welcome. Welcome. And that's Beverly Hills. That is Beverly Hills. What's an episode full of all sorts of stuff? Okay, so let's move on. Oh, no, after we do one quote, because on our break, I read this quote that someone posted. Camelia Stan posted this on our Facebook from Lisa Vanderpump's blog this week on Bravo. It says, oh, and to the housewives that insinuate they are being manipulated and don't take responsibility for their own choices and actions. I have some sound advice, dot, dot, dot, get a fucking life. Ha. She's right. By the way, one thing we have not discussed is the fact that for all these women to be blaming each other from being manipulative, one has to remember that they are being produced. They are producers who are clearly manipulating all of you guys, so come on now. They probably don't even have to do anything. They're like, okay, just go be stupid. Yeah, they're stupid. Yeah. Exactly. Anyway, before we move on to Vanderpump rules, I think we need a palate cleanser, or more specifically, we need to clear the flam. How lucky are you to have me teach you about me? This is, this is when we look at Caroline Fleming's Instagram, Caroline Fleming from Ladies of London. Ronnie, you've got one that you wanted to do first. My favorite today is a picture of Caroline Fleming. I guess a younger Caroline Fleming, not that she looks old now, she still looks good, but I'm just guessing maybe it's the filter, but she's hugging herself, shirtless, wearing pantyhose, and it's called Beautiful Legs by Caroline Fleming. And then under her butt, there's a signature Caroline Fleming, and then under that, Memories. What does that mean? Memories. Do your pantyhose need to remember shit? I don't want to know what those pantyhose remember, Caroline Fleming. I remember when my great, great, great, great, great grand mummy were nothing but pantyhose and the great battle of Denmark versus France. I remember the first time I wore the pantyhose and took them off and hung them up. My great, great, great, grand uncle took them off the hanger and he strangled your quick, great grandfather with them. From Memories, dot, dot, dot, hot, #ribred, her caption is, "Happy shopping to all of you lovelies living in the England dash. So happy it's possible for you to buy my beautiful leg stockings for this week only at www.celux.com dash. Hope you enjoy them, x, space, x, space, x." Oh, that's a triple leg space day. She's like, "P.S. I am still looking for more Mickey Mouse plates. I do find them so lovely." It is nice to see her plucking her own product for a change. So I looked at this salted pepper shaker I found in the raw dressing for lessing, at raw dressing for lessing, at salt, at pepper, # grocery aisle, #rigitycaught, #ribred, #ribred." The picture that I like is Caroline, she's in sort of like exercise clothing, she's standing up against the wall, barefoot, on her toes, and her arms are straightforward as if she were carrying like a giant platter or something, her fists are curled up, her eyes are closed, she's like feeling sunlight, but she's indoors, she's in a wall, and her caption says, "Thank you so much at True Be App and at 3D Movement for bringing out my physical strength in me in just a couple of months. To all you lovely people out there, please try this wonderful group of incredible trainers. I don't think I had it in me having refused the gym for the last 20 years, and now I'm not only motivated but actually loving the process of getting truly fit. X, X, X." "How haven't you been doing like standing on your head for 20 years doing yoga? Who cares if you go to a gym? Don't get out of here like you just started working out yesterday because of a 3D app. Shut up, please. If there's anyone at True Be App who has seen my Disney dishes for my childhood, please send a longer note. Thank you so much, they're very guilty. "Clear the flam." "What a ridiculous person, love it." "Don't give me a slice." "Don't give me a slice." "No, please, please, please. So, now why don't we move on to, you know, we talked so much about Beverly Hills. You almost would forget that there was an entire crazy stupid season finale of Vanderpump Rules." "Oh my God, an amazing one. And this is episode 420. 4.20. God bless you, you little drug addicts." "Congratulations. So, it starts off with Brittany doing dishes in Jack's studio. She's doing them because she was afraid that Jack's will be mad if they're not ready when he comes home." "Oh God, you fucking piss ant. At least Erica Jane gets a plane. What the fuck do you get? Some shit-smelling studio apartment in an air conditioner with cardboard taped over it." "Yeah, I forbid you make Jack's mad by not doing the dishes. I mean, Jack says later on that he's a clean freak. I have a hard time believing that." His penis would disagree. "Yeah. So, Jack's come back. He's in a pissy mood and he's like, 'Court was fine, but the flying, the sleeping, the no eating, that's his bother me.' And then he's like, 'And also, like, there's no sunglasses to steal and I couldn't cheat on anyone. That's the worst. You already have all the STDs. I couldn't get a new one. So, I mean, like, what's the point?" "I just have to keep my nose clean, you know, that's like all I have to do. Dude, you've got white shit on your nose right now. Is meth like the new Ajax for the nose?" "Well, then he's like, 'Yeah, it's like my TV was stuck in German and Brittany goes, 'Oh my God, that's the worst.' 'Finally Brittany's upset about something. It's not understanding daytime TV.' "You know what the worst is? It's getting a misdemeanor and paying a huge fine. But, you know, German being stuck onto your TV, that's pretty bad too." "Well, the Vanderpump's paid it. So, he paid it. Jack's being super bratty. I mean- look at this closet. Like, look at it." "Why didn't you just clean it?" "And she goes, 'Oh, no, he goes, 'Why can't you help me get an apartment?' She goes, 'I clean, I got a beep job.'" "Like every homeless person on the street has these giant breasts that they've been donated." "I would get out home, but I just can't. Oh my God, and she's like, 'Well, you still could get on the computer. He's like, 'No.' He obviously is freaking out, so he's doing whatever he can to push her away. He's like, 'Oh shit, I have a girlfriend. I don't want to be with her anymore, so I'm going to make it seem like it's her fault, which is classic Jack's.' "And also, you can find no fault with Brittany. I mean, you can do that with some girls, but this girl literally has done nothing." "Yeah, literally, she's been actually very nice and very reasonable, even towards some of the crazies, like Lawler and Stasi and Krista. She's actually really cool and nice." "I know." "Well, now granted, she's just waiting for an offer for some other show, and she's going to dump his ass. But still, she's a very nice, I wouldn't even call her a gold digger. It's like old discarded chicken bone sticker. I don't know what she is, but they're on TV." So meanwhile, to a point counterpoint, we have Stasi in her new apartment, and she's like moving in, and she's talking about how she finally found an apartment. She's like, 'I never let go of my standards.' And then, cuts are Krista walking in the door. I was like, 'Mmmm!' "Well, to be fair, those were her standards when we met her, so she's... I will never let go of my low standards." "She's like, 'So, really, with this apartment, I've really gone above and beyond.' "How did she get that apartment? Where is it? That apartment is huge, and it's very nice. That's got to be, like, Deep Val, right?" "No, I think it's probably either East Hollywood or might be someplace, like, mid-city." "Okay. Mm-hmm. I need to know where this apartment is." "We need to listen to it. Okay, yeah, I have nothing to say until I get further evidence." "Okay, so, um, yeah, so then, like, Krista and Stossie are like, 'What's up, Champagne? Seriously? Yeah, like, yeah, like, congratulations. Like, I have Robin's egg blue on my wall. It's like, 'Who does that? Me? My standards.' "It's so good to, like, have my best friend back, you know? Like, flowers mean friendships to new beginnings, shampers, and then cut to Krista and, like, cleaning up Stacey's floor, wiping stuff off the floor." "Yeah, exactly. So then we go back to Jax and Brittany, where Jax is just freaking out. He's like, 'I can't escape you.' Which is so, like, Stacey's being such a baby." "I should get something out of this, too.'" "Yeah, he's like, 'This is a relationship. It's 50/50. I've got to get something out of it, too.'" "Well, you already got bigger tips than me. What else do you want?" "Yeah, you've been getting pussy out of it. That's all you wanted." "Exactly. Brittany." "Well, how do you think I fit? What do you mean you don't get anything? Look at what I gave up. I left my family in Kentucky to work at Hooters." "Yeah, sounds like the family tree to me." "Yeah, but she was right there. She's like, 'I left my family. I moved across the country to leave in the studio apartment, and I work at Hooters. You asked, and you asked for it." "It's like, 'Yeah, but...' "I want more.'" "I signed up for the idea of Stagram account. I was in my bikini. I deserve this!" "But you didn't get me sunglasses. Now I have to steal them." "You're making this about you, okay? At least jail was peaceful, because when I was in jail, everything was just quiet." "Yeah, because you weren't allowed to start shit with anybody in your little local cell, Jax." "You've started every fucking storyline full of shit on this show. What are you even talking about?" "He was happiest when he was alone in a jail cell." "You can't imagine what happened in that jail cell, but it's like I could jerk off in every direction." "Believe me, the rest of society was also happiest when you were alone in a jail cell." "I got away from all the stupid petty shit from this summer that you started. These made one thing that you didn't start that's happened this time." "Exactly, but obviously, like you said, he's trying to make her want to break up so he doesn't have to." "Yeah, so then over at Sur, things are going swimmingly. She is like, 'Wrench the lines. Is it a manual?'" "That's that thing I hate that fucking waiters do, and I knew that she was this kind of girl." "Do we need more time with the manual? Who's we?" "I almost recorded that sound bite, and I didn't know I'm mad." "Do we need more time? Do we need more time? Do we need more time? Do we need more time?" "Alright, can you guys, do we know how to pronounce Chilean?" "Do you know what I would like?" "I think I'm going to just try one of each of the prime cocktails." "I think we're going to try one of each of the prime cocktails." "That's all happening. I'm ready to order." "Now she's going to put it at the end of that." "To me, it's all happening." "So then James goes up to Tom's end of all, and he's like, 'Hello, hello, I'm a drink.' 'Hello, mate, hey old man, I haven't gotten drunk a two weeks, man. I haven't gotten drunk for two weeks, man.'" "Ooh, congratulations. He's all shifty and nervous and looking like he's going to break down in the sweats." "Yeah, I think he starts out about Kristen. He's like, 'I've seen Kristen, the sparks are flying.'" "Spark's like when metal's on metal and sparks, like that's what those sparks are." "Yeah, totally. They're like when something gets stuck in the garbage, like the spoon gets stuck in the garbage disposal." "It's like when the wheels come off a car and it crashes into the ground with those sort of sparks." "Well, I'm not sure, babe, like it could be lollar or it could be Kristan. Like, who knows? I don't know. I'm just, well, I'm just willing to walk through whatever door opens the widest." "Like, do you mean vagina?" "Yeah, I think he's talking about the doggy door." "So, um, meanwhile, lollar, lollars? She's anxious. She's anxious about that and got some part of it." "Because she's anxious because, like, she and katie, like, don't get along, but she got on an invite to this and now she is really anxious." "And she's like, really, not us." "That's like, I was literally hanging on by a thread." "Who said that?" "I need my mama." "Oh, that was, you know, she was like, so she was, like, talking to someone else, I forget who." "But she was, like, she's like, this is lollar hanging on by a thread because it's, like, a thread and I'm trying to face the thread." "Like, how crazy is it that this, like, sign came true?" "I'm literally hanging on to a thread that's, like, literally hanging on by a, like, thread, literally." "Are we?" "Lala invited to party. I like that this engagement party. The theme is not lace and leather, which I think it normally is. Now it's lace and linen." "What the fuck is that? I've never heard of that. Is that a thing? Lace and linen?" "I haven't heard, yeah." "Who puts linen in their party theme?" [laughter] "Lace was, like, darling, something pretty and then something that's constantly wrinkled, darling, no matter how hard you try to iron it out, like your husband." "So, oh, yeah, so she was, like, picking something on Lala's thing because Lala was talking about how anxious she was. And then, of course, she turns it into herself. She's like, "Well, I don't know, she was going to be there." "Oh, god. I can't believe she would show up at a party that I'm going to." [laughter] "I'm really, really looking at Lala's, like, but should I wear, like, I don't even know, like, spandex?" "And this is, uh, she missed fashion, fashionify." "Where's something your grandma would meet your aunt in?" [laughter] "Okay. Like Aunt D, who invented the crop top." "Yeah." [laughter] "So, yeah." [laughter] "So, I just, me a moment there, I had, uh, Lisa in a reaction. Late reaction, but I got it, I got it, but I got it. I got it." "You're mad tomorrow." "Yeah. Tomorrow. I can't believe Ronnie manipulated me into that joke, baby." [laughter] "Scape goat. I am the scapegoat of all these jokes about halter tops." [laughter] "So, um, so Jax is back at work, and so he's talking to Lisa, by the way, I love Lisa's outfit in this scene." "It was like this, like, tan, whatever you call it, a Mars-a-pan-esque." [laughter] "Some Mars-a-fan!" [laughter] "She's wearing, like, a shiny, like, velvet. It looks like it was, like, I don't know, whatever. I am, like, crazy again. I took a big gulp of coffee everyone. And I'm ready to go!" [laughter] "So, um, um, so Jax is, like, talking about his thing. He was, like, he was, like, "Yeah, it was, like, it was really cool. Like, I didn't have to say anything." "They're, like, listen, they got bigger fish to fry. Like, they don't need to worry about me. They got, like, real crime there." "And he's, like, don't minimize it!" [laughter] "Be there, you. Don't be nice to yourself, lollar." "Mm-hmm. Do you want to argue with me? Her, listen to me. I'm not your son. She's, like, coped up." "Now you're aggressive." "Yeah. He's, like, I'm not aggressive. Shut up and listen to me." "Jesus, Jax." "It's, like, you're a little aggressive right now. I don't give a damn if you're tired, alright? I don't give a damn if you have to get a Hawaii to be in a court room." "When I have a check, get out of my face." "And he's, like, rah, get out of my face." "She's so manipulative." "That bitch needs to show up to Beverly Hills." "Yeah, I know, exactly." "Where's she been?" "Yeah, exactly. That's what I would like." "And Tom Sandoval." "You know, it's so weird, Kristin. Like, I've known Jax for a long time. And since I've known him, Kristin, he's stolen from me. He's fucked my girlfriend." "And he's told me he's, like, the top cool guy and the cool guy group." "But, you know what? Like, I still miss him." "Like, yeah, because otherwise you're standing there next to Ariana, whose eyes are, like, rolled back in her head." "Her head, while she, like, squirts water into a glass from a gun." "And talks about the death of sketch comedy." "She's, like, I'm sorry, can't talk right now. Trying to nail the game." "So." "Freeze." "So, then we go to Villarosa where Katie's, like, setting up the engagement party." "There's, like, so many details. Like, you know, like, who'd want to invite? And, like, how to uninvite them? And how bitchy can I be when I uninvite them?" "You know, that's what she wants to do the whole time." "I'm scrolling down to this." "Where are your umbrellas?" "Yeah, don't you think?" "Yeah, yeah, and then Lisa's like, where's your help? I don't understand. Where's Rosio?" "Alright, someone finds some Latinos to help these people." "Darling, you are not using Rosio. She's mine, alright. She's just been given Pandora's kindergarten graduation blouse." "And she's not ruining it, putting up umbrellas." "Yeah, darling, go knock on the dollhouse around the way. Maybe there's someone in there who can help." "And then, Tom's like, oh..." "Lisa, I can, um, you know, help you bring down an, I don't know, an umbrella? Should we use an umbrella?" "Just don't be a pussy, darling. Just something a pussy, just take it." "Does she have gravestones in her backyard? What are those?" "Did you get the shot of that?" "It looks like a whole bunch of gravestones back there." "I didn't see that." "It's creepy. It's like all the dogs that can skin to wear wigs." "Yeah, I didn't see that at all. I think I was just watching the saga of the umbrella as it came down the way." "So, Tom and Ariana are next, right, Tom?" "Yeah. We're gonna perform tonight. We're gonna perform just a tip tonight." "At the after party. So perfect." "By the way, I'm surprised that Mixology 101 was not involved in any part of the season." "I know. Mohammed must have pissed somebody off." "Is that his place?" "No, I don't know who's place it is, but they just always." "They just look on Alyssa's friend. They always end up at some of Alyssa's friend's place at the Grove." "Yeah. Panini, darling. Can we organize a fight around the Panini shop? Make it happen!" "So then they start talking about Sheena, right?" "Yeah." "Because I forget why they're talking about Sheena." "Because Ariana has to see her." "I have to see Sheena. I'm sick of this pageant sassy persona. That's not who I became friends with." "Oh, really? Pageant Queen persona is very seriously, okay?" "Listen, you can say a lot about Sheena, and we do." "But Sheena has never wavered on the game, darling. If anybody knows game, it's Sheena." "The most consistently idiotic dumb dumb on Bravo. She's never changed one thing." "She changed in the two weeks that you pretended to know her before getting on this show." "Shut up." "Yeah, exactly. So now it's time to get ready for the engagement party. Stossing Kristin are putting on makeup. Kristin has literally turned herself brown. She's fully Zoe Saldana, Nina Simone herself." "She turned herself brown. She turned herself brown." "I would believe Kristin more than Zoe Saldana as me and Simone. At least Kristin's felt some pain, darling." "Oh my goodness. If I knew any Nina Simone songs, well, I would try to do it as Kristin's voice when I don't. It's probably a blessing in disguise." "This baby don't care for show. This baby don't... This baby just cares for me because I'm a catch. Seriously, you don't know how I feel. Seriously, you don't know how it feels to love somebody, to love somebody. The way I love James and Tom's jacks." "Oh, God bless her little heart." "They're talking about getting ready to go to Lisa's and Stacey's like, 'I'm worried because Lisa, like, we're not invited.' And, like, we could go to Lisa's house and she could literally kick us out. Kristin's like, 'You get used to it.' Who's Stacey goes, 'I have some respect and dignity.' Okay, Kristin is unburdened by those anchors." "That was a funny long thing, Tom. You've put jacks for years. You aren't either. Get over yourselves." "Yeah, that's what I was about to say. You realize you're crashing a party with Kristin Duty. You're with Horseface #1. There's no such thing as self-respect at that point." "To try and be friends with someone who doesn't like you and go to their engagement party just so you can get camera time to pay the rent for the apartment you can't afford because you couldn't get a job off the TV show." "That's like the opposite of having self-respect and dignity." "But thanks for playing." "You're gonna talk to jacks!" "It's like strange. You know what I'm saying? It's like we've both gotten so fat. You know, it's weird." "I don't know if my bed can take it. Oh, poor Stacey. I like how she lives." "By the way, Stacey's is not fat. She's not fat." "Stacey's boobs have gotten fat, but I love Stacey the way she is. Don't change. I know. I was only going for the joke. I was only going for the joke. She's not fat." "Oh, girl. You know, I do it a million times. I'm just still laughing because someone tweeted her when we played her podcast last week. It stops on." "Someone literally tweeted at me at that Stacey. That's that." "Oh, that was amazing." "Women empowerment on Vanderpump Rules kills me because she's like talking about how she's so empowered, but then it's gonna go kiss Jackson's ass later." "And then Kristen's like, 'Y'all, James still wants me, and like, this is his last chance, okay? This is his last chance. How many chances does he get?" "And why is it his last chance after you fucked him on the hood of a car in some random parking lot, huh?" "Exactly." "Exactly, exactly, exactly." "Speaking of dignity, Brittany and Jax." "Oh, gosh." "When did you last talk to Stacey?" "Who cares? I mean, I had like three girlfriends since then." "Yeah, which was basically also like, basically like two weeks ago. If that's what we're using." "It's like this morning. How about you?" "Oh, did I say gofans? I meant felonies." So then, so everyone's showing up at the party. Lala is drunk. She's doing that thing where she's like, I think it's like really cool to talk about what drunk she got. She's like, "Yeah, I had like 14 mimosas and like two shots, so I'm like really drunk." So she shows up and she has the charo hair. And she also has the charo hair, but like a smaller charo hair. And they're like, "Oh my God, same hair." And then she's like, "The producers are so funny. They cut to her in a confession." "That's so funny." And then they cut to her in real life going, "That's so funny." "That's so funny." "That's so funny." "That's so funny." "Did you go to the drive on Azusa? That's so funny." "For a team of mimos, I've had 14 mimosas and 10 shots of vodka." "That's so funny, Lala." Faith comes in looking for a couch to take home. "Yeah." "Did you go to Salon Republic?" Lisa Vanderpump is talking to the moms and the grandmoms. "Yeah." I felt bad for Tom too, because he's like, "Well, I have triplet brothers." "Wait, was it him who has triplet brothers?" He's like, "Yeah, triplet brothers. They couldn't come." "Yeah, my dad couldn't come either, because fear of flying." Poor guy, Jesus Christ. He couldn't even get his family to come. "Well, his family was probably at the airport being like, "Should we get on the plane?" "I don't know. Maybe we shouldn't." "I don't know. It could be scary." "Yeah, what do you think? I think it's scary too." "Right now." "Let's look at that." "Oh, wait. It left." "Gab? Right out of plane. I don't know. What do you want?" "Wait, we're all going in different directions. Bubbles!" Do you think they mean Hollywood Florida or Hollywood Los Angeles? "I don't know." "Let's go to Paris, Texas." "Should we?" "Mmm." "Oh, Bubbles." "So, what I like to do is that how Lisa made such a big stink last week." "I don't want to be at the party. I don't want to be in the party. I don't want to even see it." "And of course, she's like right there in the middle of it. Poor people drinks." "Welcome to pump sangria town, darling." "Your engagement dress is made out of pump labels. Enjoy, Katie." So then here comes Stossian, Kristin. I like how Stossian says that Kristin has had a shameectomy and just doesn't care anymore. "It's pretty true." Speaking of no shame, Tom and Ariana standing alone at the table. Tom is fanning himself, so his shaved forehead doesn't get sweaty. And Ariana is blowing bubbles trying to relive her bitter 13-year-old, where she was afraid everybody was a lesbian. The two two were so sad. "I know." "Mingle, darling." So who was it that she knew me like? "There's like a blonde puree table, and it's like no one's a fan into it, except for Tom and Ariana." "It's all happening." To them, not us. I like when Kristin and Stossie walked in and Krista goes, "What does she throw to us off her mountain?" "Oh, the two dared to dream, dared to dream." And Jax is like, "Yeah, Stossie looks so good." "Gosh, shut up. Damn, she looks good." Gross, and then after he says that, it cuts to every manager. It's like shot of Peter, shot of Diana, shot of... "What the hell?" "I know." "I'll be gonna confront him about stolen silverware." "Why are we getting weird soap opera shots of every manager?" "Exactly." And then Stossie goes up to Brittany and goes, "I've heard nothing but really great things about you, and I've always said that Jax has the best taste in girlfriends." Like, yeah, that was basically if you want to translate that in Stossie to English, it's like, "You're a fucking bitch with fake tits, and I hate you, and you get your slut face out of here and back to Hooters. You stupid motherfucking bitch." "Thank you!" "I'm stupid, Brittany." "That was great!" "Thank you, I love you too." Then James, in a proud moment to celebrate his two weeks of sobriety, he was like, "Look, Lisa, look what I did, Lisa. I finished the pump session city, Lisa. Look at it right here, Lisa." "Darling, that font!" "We had a bar in the '80s with that font, darling." "It's perfect!" We used to call it Miami Pump Vice. Oh, that was a weird Miami Vice font. I like that James tries there, you know. He's like a young guy who actually is working hard to get what he wants, and that's more than a lot of people do in this town. At least he ain't sucking his dick to the middle. He's doing middle quality work to get to the middle. And to that, I say applause. And he really does support The New York Times. They said these kids, they don't really aspire to anything. I mean, James' biggest thing that he wants in life is to be a DJ at Pump. And so the fact that he's been knocked down from that is a huge thing. It's like someday, someday he could be DJ at the place next door. Like you get Pump Sessions out there. He's going to be making a hamburger heaven compilation for the hamburger place across the street. Oh, yeah. Oh, did we talk about Vanderpump coming up to Stassi and Kristin? Didn't she say hi to them at some point? Well, she does really think that Lisa really doesn't care that they're there, but she likes being a wall to do the pretend thing. Oh, no, you two. Oh, goodness, what have I gotten? What have I gotten? What are you doing here, you troublemakers? I'm good behavior. It's a beautiful afternoon and Tom's carried an umbrella down. Don't fuck it up. I got three swans up there that are ready to bite. Kristin's like, "Listen, two gates can't stop us, okay?" Wait, who said, I don't know, Lisa's like, "Two gates aren't enough." And Kristin goes, "Look, we're not going to fuck this up. We're going to fuck this up, the leads of all of the things we fucked up." Good one, Kristin. Glad we had this talk, darling. Clear. So then James goes up to Kristin. He starts kissing her and he's like, "Hello, babe. Remember when we fucked out the car the other night?" So they're like, "Kissie, kissie, kissie." He's like, "I really want to get back together with you. I want to show how good you are and how much I love you and how good I am and what do you know about Kristin?" You know, and they're kissing. And she's like, "Well, like, he's really come a long way, and this is the James who I fell in love with originally." He's like, "Say it to your British voice." And then Lala fixes her charo, her charo weave or whatever, and starts walking over and I'm like, "Oh, no." And Kristin's like, "Of course she's behind me. I hate her. I hate her hair. I hate her shoes. She's not a good person." And then Lala just watches her in place with her straw hair. Yeah, and I love, by the way, I hate her hair. Her outfits are shit. I hate her shoes. I just don't think she's a good person. I love that her hair, her outfits, and her shoes are examples of how she's not a good person. [laughter] Here's my thesis. She has bad hair. She has bad outfits and she has bad shoes. Therefore, QED, she's a bad person. Is this not even a run-on inspiring sentence on her t-shirt? Ugh, what a bad person. I thought Lala said that, but maybe she's saying that about Lala. I don't remember. It's interchangeable. I don't know. I don't even know. I thought Lala was saying it about Kristen, but honestly, it could go either way. Sometimes I take notes and I think tomorrow I'm just going to naturally remember who said all this stuff, but it could be any of them. You could say anybody on the show said this, and I would believe it. Well, so then James, again, proudly shows his pump session CD to Horspace, and she's like, "legit motherfucking proud of you, dude. Seriously? Seriously? Legit motherfucking proud of you, dude." Literally legit. Like, I never thought you'd get your color printer to work again. Seriously? So legit motherfucking proud of you. You finally figured out inkjet. Love you. I knew you could find the potential of your Epson color printer. Seriously? Seriously. Man, sometimes you just need to wake up and have a cartridge change. Am I right? Oh, my God, it's a t-shirt. Oh, God. And so then Lisa was like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Everyone gather around." Lisa goes to make a speech. And I don't know if you saw this, but in the corner of the screen, as everyone gathered, Kristin was totally taking a huge drag off of a joint. Did you see that? No. They're all gathering around, and there's Kristin. Huge drag. She gets a huge, totally toaks up. What do you think of that, Mom? Which surprised me a little bit, because I don't think we've actually seen someone smoke up on the show before. Like, we've never seen some other joint in their mouth. James held a joint at the end of the show, but like, we haven't actually seen it. So I was like, "You're always stoned, but we never actually see them doing the drag." So it's like seeing only the after pictures. Yeah, they let -- I don't know if they let that slip on purpose, but I was surprised. So... I'm surprised Lisa didn't fucking yell at them. She knows what that shit is. I liked her speech, though. I would like to say congratulations to Tom, too, for being less of a pussy for at least a month. And I'd like to thank Katie for being the only person with a back strong enough to carry salt and pepper-shaker trays from one end of the restaurant to another for a 12-hour shoot. Congratulations, darling. Congratulations. Now, let's talk about sangria. Yeah. I also want to congratulate Tom for finding one of the old shirts they had to wear at the Geisha House restaurant on Hollywood Boulevard. It looks wonderful. I'll have a martini, please. Now, please, everybody, pick up a plate, pick up a glass and walk them towards the kitchen. Thank you. So then she's like, "If anyone would like to do a dress, then please come up here and say something nice about you." Yeah. Great. Kristen and Stasi. Kristen, who is still -- Please don't, Kristen. That was hilarious. Yeah. So it's dope. No, Kristen, no. So Kristen is up there, and she's stoned and rambling. She's like, "You know, I'd like to say credit because, like, it wasn't because of me and because of the Craigslist and because of driving across the country to me, though." But she's rambling and rambling, rambling. When Tishwa got out of his Honda Civic. Tishwa, she said. When Tishwa got out of his Honda Civic from Florida, and he came to Tom's house, they're like, "I loved him. Like, he was just love of music. Like, his quirkiness and his humor and his good looks." I'm like, "You're getting married right now." And then Lala is off in the corner. She's drunk and just looking sloppy at this moment. She's just looking like sloppy trash in her lace, you know, whatever that was. She's got her hair up. She's standing there in this pose, which, again, if you look, it's our new Facebook banner photo. She's standing there. Her drink is -- she's holding it with this, like, floppy hand. Like, she just looks like an old cougar who is pissed about her divorce. And she has a scowl on her face. She's like, "Fuck this shit. This is going to be my season finale." It's Kristen's rambling. And Lala's going to be like, "Can you wrap it up, dude? Hey, babe, wrap it up." Hey, wrap it up. What the fuck are you talking about? [laughter] I'm just saying whatever I was thinking, babe. I have not been able to be mad at Lala once. Is that weird? Is there a lot of Lala haters? Because I think she's hysterical, and I love her. And ever since she talked about crying on the curb, I'll love her forever. Well, she keeps doing things that should make me hate her, you know? Like, for instance, like the -- the endless flirtations with James, just these obnoxious things that slutty out fits all this stuff. And yet, she's just -- Lala, I don't know. It's just like there's so many -- they're bigger fish to fry. It's so funny, and everybody deserves it because they're so mean to her. I'm like, "You need to be meaner to them. They deserve it. Slash the tire, bitch." She tries so hard. She does try so hard. But then, of course, Katie, because Lala acted up. Katie's like, "Whoa, guys. I don't care if you guys have a problem with them, okay? If you want to be rude, leave." And then, like, two people applaud. They're like, "Yeah." Katie's like, "I want people to compliment me." So if you don't want us, you're like, "Humbly?" Then maybe you should go, "I should leave." There's the gates over there. Okay? I don't want to hear about me. That's how they work. Katie is too boring to actually have somebody stand up and object. They'll only do it, like, to other people. Does anybody object? Yeah, I object to Kristin. This is my wedding. Okay. Well, then I object to higher taxes. Nope. Still my wedding. All right. Well, I object to styrofoam-to-go containers. Nope. I'm getting married right now. Who the fuck are you? So then, Kristin and Stasi go mumbling off the stage. Like, "The moment's been ruined." And then, more or less, we just... Then we move over to... Sir, for the after party. So everyone gathers together. We see the original trio of evil together. Katie, Kristin, and Stasi. And then, Sheena's like, "Nah, Sheena fells left out." So, Sheena and Ariana start talking. And, you know, Ariana is pretty upfront. And says all the right things, I think, which is just like, "You know, you just dismissed my opinion. Like, it's completely invalid." And then Sheena's like, "Oh, well, you know what? Like, they're not friends with me anymore. So, can we be friends again?" Thanks. That's all happening. Pretty much. Ariana is one of my friends anymore. I don't know. You've been talking shit about me and Tom. I disagree. I love when people disagree about things that aren't things about agreement. It's not an opinion. You've been talking shit. Yes or no? You didn't? Or you did. It's not an agreement thing you dumbed out. And then, they show like a montage of her talking shit. Well, I'm sorry. No one else will listen to your stories. I'm like, "Okay." Hugs. Yeah, pretty much. Like, literally a luster. Like, I was happy. And now, like, I'm sad. You know what I mean? Oh, okay. Hugs. Yeah, they're hugs. Ariana's like, "I just want you to remember, though, that this doesn't change my stance on sketch comedy." Okay. Very serious. The game is still the game. Please don't ask me a question. Very serious. I still have not figured out who I am at the dinner party. And James is like, "Don't give me alcohol, babe. I'm not drinking anymore." And Jackson's like, "You're fucked up." He's like, "Well, it's just because I smoked a joint. That's different, isn't it? It's not the same thing." Yeah. That's a bit JAA right there. Yeah. And so then, James starts kissing Lala. Because Lala, by the way, the funny thing with Lala is she... And Kristen too. But Lala sees James kissing Kristen. And instead of saying, you know, he's a skis, but he makes me jealous and I can't help it. Now I want to bone him. You know, it's like, "What? Lala, stand up for yourself." And so then, of course, James starts kissing Lala. He's like, "Yeah, gorgeous. You're the most beautiful one here." I'm like, "You're such a pig." Yeah, he really is. And these girls fall for it. And then she bites his tongue, knowing that Kristen's watching. She holds his tongue in her mouth with her teeth, just in case no one got a shot of that. Yeah. And then Kristen's like, "Oh my God. She's like a walking STD." Yes. And now you have it. Yes. Exactly. And Lala's like, "Kristen, Kristen, can you show up finally to which Kristen responds with, "Can you just leave, sir, because no one likes you." These are like, really... You've been kicked out 10 times and had the police called her and showed up a week ago to yell and scream obscenities in the middle of the restaurant and then was disinvited to ever coming back there. Exactly. And wasn't even invited to this party. Hello. These are truly the best comebacks I've ever seen on TV. Can you show up finally? Can you show up finally and can you just leave because no one likes you? Oh my God, that's a T-shirt. So then Lala does the next reasonable thing, which is she just goes and shows Kristen. Sit the fuck down. I'm the one person, babe. You don't want to go there way. Am I go there? I'm in the Inland Empire. And he said, "Oh, James is like, that's fucked up, babe. That's low life." Like, you just made out with two girls and gotten high in front of an entire wedding party. Please be quiet, James. Yeah, please. That's low life. Uh-huh. So then, but Kristen's like, "I'm in a better place now, so I'm not going to fight back." So then they all... They all will never be accepted. So then, um, they go inside because it's time for Tom's performance. So Tom and his buddy, Isaac, seeing this touch of bublic, which is fine. Uh-huh. Hi. L-O-M-F-A-O has disbanded for a reason. L-O-M-F-A-O meets Chromio. Yes. They are so L-O-M-F-A-O. That it makes me crazy, especially. They even do the same dances. And Lisa's like, "Is this a joke?" No, darling. Yeah, Lisa looks totally confused. Um, but Lala, this Lala is just, again, she's being so extra. She's sitting there on... I think James' lap with, like, she's drinking something. And she's, like, flicking her tongue in, like, a lesbian, kind of, like, liqueur vagina way on the straw, and, like, looking at Kristen, I was like, "Lala, put it by your head, please." I love it. No, just fucking tear Kristen into the ground. Because, you know, Kristen left her alone, didn't she? After all of that? That's what she got to do. Punch Horseface and the Horseface, girl. She did it. True. Kristen's like, "Ugh, I'll stay over here now and hate her from afar." Lala's like, "Yeah?" Lala, lala, lala, lala, lala, lala, lala, lala. I mean, Lala did learn from Stasi. I mean, Stasi also just slapped Kristen, so... Oh, speaking of Stasi's advice to Lala, she goes, "Lala, listen." Like, she's trying to be the old home mentor. Girl, you never made the kind of money that this ho did. Yeah, Stasi's like, "Listen, Lala, you need to..." This is the time that you need to own it and apologize, like, literally, and Lala goes, "No, fuck it. I'm just trying to make all these people like me." Like, "If you don't want to bring my friends, you can fucking blow me." And she walks off and Stasi's like, "Um, that girl is not getting a statement necklace." Or Christmas. Yeah. At that level. I mean, poor Lala, I mean, this is the thing. Lala has one of those complexes where she's not... She doesn't ever feel accepted, so she puts up this, like, whole... Not facade, but she has, like, her defenses up, which makes people not want to accept her. So, poor Lala, don't you realize the psychology that's going on here? Lala, just relax and enjoy yourself. Why are you invited? Darling, it's The Ho Defense. Erika James the same way. There's one on every season of every Bravo show. There is some ho who's trying to make up for it in some other way, you know? Well, so now things get really gross. So now, um, at the performance, James, who is stoned out of his mind and yet still calling himself sober, um, he, like, sits down with Ken, and he's like, "Ah, come here, pop a bag. I'll come here, pop a bag." I'm like, "That's your boss. That's your boss, actually, 'cause Ken's a boss." Like, you're calling your boss, pop a bag, and putting your arm around. That's, that's massively inappropriate. But, little did I realize he was just warming up, because then Lisa asks, "This is like, have you been drinking?" And he's like, "No, no, I haven't." He's like, "I mean, I ate four brownies earlier, and I smoked two joints before I got here. If you want the truth, I'm very stoned, and I feel like I'm in space right now." I'm like, "Are you crazy? You're telling your boss you're stoned, and you're at the workplace, and she's told you to, she has specifically told you to be sober, and you're talking about this as if it's a bragging point." And he's like, "I'm on a space level. I don't even care right now, right, babe. That's how good I'm doing." Just like, uh, James is one of those idiots who celebrate sobriety by getting wasted. It's not like it's the first time you've seen that, Lisa. Oh, wow. So then Christina Kelly, good old Christina, for once on the right side, 'cause, you know, she's normally giving a snotty look at people, and you're like, "Shut up, Christina." But this time she's like, "You, you're like stoned. That's so inappropriate." And then James's like, "You've got to shut your fucking mouth." I was like, "In front of Ken, in front of Ken." And Ken's just sitting there, like, "You know, like, I couldn't believe..." You know, I guess maybe at this point, Ken and Lisa are like, "Just let them fight. We need it for the season finale." The jiggy breathing still, darling. Jiggy's breathing. All right, I don't care. It's all carry on. So James says this to Christina, which is totally obnoxious, and further evidence of James being a total sexist little prick. And then Jax is the one. Jax, the womanizer of the bunch, is like... The woman, the guy who just got free tits put into his girlfriend, because he was body shaming her in their first month of a relationship. He is the voice of reason here, which shows how fucked up/wonderful this show is. He's like, "Dude, you can't talk to women like that. You can't." And then, and then James... If you really want to get it a woman, you get her some bad tits. Like, that'll show her. Yeah, so then they start bickering, and so Jax just steps away. And then James goes to his favorite, like, his favorite attack. He's like, "Oh, you want to go stand by the bar like that?" I'm still standing here like a man. What I was talking about how he's a man. I can say whatever I want to Jax, because Jax is on probation. He can't do anything. You've got a felony. You fucked over 100 girls, mate. I'm not scared of Jax, and I'm dying because he's smoking a joint while he says this. How about, girl, you 22 or something. How long do you think it is before you have a felony into your belt? I know he's driving around like that and stealing drugs out of people's drug cabinets. Y'all do it. Well, and he's also, like, a typical... Like, I don't know the word. Like, Jim Marchese. The type that knows that, like, "Oh, I know you can't punch me, so therefore I'm just going to elevate." And then, and, and, and, and, and, and, he's, that's one. I mean, Jim's, like, just shut up. You basically are, like, a drunken sunflower, right? You know, he's, like, skinny with a big round thing on top, okay? And he is, like, pushing Jax's buttons, and he is being so obnoxious. And then he's like, and so Jax is now, like, furious, you know, because Jax is, like, as he says, he solves problems with his fists. And so, Jax is... Yeah, actually, he says, "You know what? I'm not really into verbal arguments." Yeah. I'm not one for verbal debate, you don't say. Yeah. So, so James is just being totally obnoxious, and Jax is now, lost as, you know, Jax felt Paul's right into it, because he's, like, a dumb, you know, golden retriever. He was a dumb ape. God, I wish I was wearing a sweater right now to take off and kick his ass. Surprised the shirt, sit on. Mm-hmm. But then, so then, you know, James is so ridiculous. He's like, "Don't cross me in front of Lisa. Be a good boy, old man." Oh, my God. Just so obnoxious of everyone's trying to calm them all down. Like, an old person talking to people who are like Stephanie. I know, you should get it. So then James tries to cast himself as, as the, as the gentleman here. He's like, "I'm going to take myself out of the situation." Like, "Oh, please, the situation that you cause, all the situations are situations that you cause." And he, like, walks out and does this little wave. Yeah, he gives a peace sign and smokes the joint and then he comes back in. Oh, Kristin, I just wanted to say goodbye. I'll call you tomorrow then, darling. Right. Yeah, and then he walks outside and literally there's Lala sitting there in her, like, 1987 tonic a tan outfit. And he's like, "All right, let's go, fuck." And she's like, "Okay." You sure showed them, guys? And then Kristin. I feel like I got an STD on my face. It can only help, darling. Right, I'm gonna thank you, nope, two weeks. And then she's like, "And then James started talking. I felt like I got like another one." No. So then once those, once that, those idiots were gone, then Lisa's like, "Ah, Jax, why don't you go talk to Stacy?" Oh, but Jax tells Lisa, "Well, I didn't expect this, like, about the James drama." And goes, "I didn't expect this." And she goes, "You created it, darling." I love that. You see? I love that. Right there. That's why I love her. She's like, "Please, you started every storyline this season. A, you get a raise. B, please go finish this season." Go do the rest of your scene, darling. You don't have time to win right now. So then Jax starts talking to Stacy. There are no people more suited for each other than you and Stacey. Way to the most employees I've ever had. So then Jax goes and sits and starts talking with Stacey. And at first, he musics like nice and they're cutting to use shots that's making it look like they're falling in love again and the light is sort of glowing. And he's like, "Yeah, like, you know, I still have a special place in my heart for you and I'll drop anything for you." And she's like, "Yeah, like, we have something special and we're really changed." And they're like bonding and nice. It's Stacey. Yeah, I mean, like, if you think about it, while she's drinking his water, which is disgusting, she's like trying to flirt by drinking his free beverage. It's hilarious. But then Stacey's like, "Yeah, you have to remember, like, literally look around. We started this. Like, this is awesome. Look around at what we built." That's like literally going into a junkyard. I mean, like, look at this. Look at this pile of trash. We created this. It's like batting yourself on the back every time you shit. Put an applause sound effect on your flesh or dump them. There's a reason why they call it the Brat diet. I will always be here for you. But that being said, I feel like you're wheezing your way back and you have an agenda. And everyone lost all your friends, so therefore you want to be friends with us again. Pretty much. Yeah. But by the way, I don't understand why that's like an insult. Like, isn't that the way it goes? Like someone thought they were doing something better and then, like, they thought they moved on to something better? And then they were shut down. They realized the errors of their way and they come crawling back. Isn't that, like, okay? Yes. They learned their lesson and they come to value their friends they always had. Yeah, but Stassi's not even really valuing anybody. She's just trying to use people to show them how to get a real damn job. Yeah. It makes it different when there's a TV production around it all. But for Jax to be talking, he's fucked other people's girlfriends. He's screwed over everybody on the cast. He's stolen from the place and they still are always like, I mean, Stassi is right on that. She's like, "Why does everybody forget Jax?" And I guess the difference is that he doesn't leave, you know? Yeah. Like if you leave a relationship, then you're breaking up. But this is like just working through a relationship with Jax's terrible behavior. Oh, Stassi made a big mistake, which is that she went against Lisa. And that's just not what you do when Lisa is the EP of the show. So then Jax and Stassi start bickering. And suddenly Jax is like, "You know what? Britney's not so bad. I think I love her again." So he's like, "Hey babe, let's go back to the studio apartment that we both live in." She's like, "Oh, that's so sweet." So I can play with your tits. Yeah, so I can bring your tits. Try those things out. Try those things out. And also he walked away from Stassi. He didn't win any fight. It was so weird. They were having this nice conversation. Then he's like, "Yeah, but you know what? This is what you do." Now you're trying to warm your way back in here. And she's like, "What? I just drank your water." Like she's looking all offended. I hate worms. And then nothing really happened except he just gets up and stocks off. And he's like, "We're leaving." I was like, "Wow, wait a show that you just won by leaving out of terror." You fucking pussy. Yeah. And then the season pretty much ends with Stassi and Katie. Like, talking about like, you know, like we're rebuilding. Yeah, it's like, and I love your dress. I love your dress too. Oh my God, you're so nice. Thank you. I'm sorry, but like, I don't, I really can't be the same friend to you that I was before, because like, I was hurt. So now I'm going to be the friend like I was before, but just like, you know, I'll be married now. Stassi's like, "That's great. Okay. Could you like make me a pancake?" It's like, "Yeah, I'll be right back." Love, hugs, love, love, love. So important to you. We're going to go home and like maybe have sex. I mean, I don't know. Like maybe sex. Like, I don't know. Maybe we'll just order a pizza, which is like the same thing to Katie. God bless her heart. You know, he saw and gotten fucked. You know, you're now at your engagement party and you still have not gotten fucked. Maybe stop wearing capris. Yeah. Yeah, please. That could be part of it. Or the Candy necklace. Puka shells. Puka shells. Puka shells. I think monologue. Life is a learning curve. Some of these people have learned great things. Some are still wearing women's pants. Thanks, Lisa. Great monologue, Lisa. Nobody learns anything that's a point of this show. Yeah. And then we find out that there's two uncensored specials. There's a part one and a part two and I think three reunions. Jesus. Yeah. I'm excited. I'm excited about it. So maybe we should just, as we wrap up the season, maybe we should just take a listen to what Stasi's got on her mind, right? Oh, that would be great. All right. Let's straight up. Let's straight up. Let's straight up. And I'm like, what? He's like, no, you need to do this. Like you love Scream Queen so much. You need to find a way to meet one of them and ask them a few questions. So I'm panicking. I'm like, Patrick's going to be so disappointed. He like helped me with this. I need to record something. So I was told I wasn't allowed to record anything during this thing, but I did it anyway. And I like snuck and did it. And then I listened to it afterwards and sorry to report. Like, it's so fuzzy that I can't even play the audio for you guys, but I was hoping, I was seeing the whole time, just hoping that I would have the audio to put on my podcast and sound so legit. Like, I felt like a real live like journalist or some shit. You know what I mean? iPhone journalist. Listen up. This is major. If you go to Cameron Cameron or it's CHY.com. If you shop for your wife. Not going on to her ad. With reunions, you don't get to edit. You don't, it's edited. So whatever I say, it's not like on my podcast where I can just free flow and be myself and no one's going to edit it for me. If I go crazy or get opinionated on a reunion, they could edit it to make me look, you know, just cut part of what I say out and I look like a psychopath. So I try and keep calm in those situations because I thought that maybe, you know, when you see people in real life, people that you look up to in movies or TV shows, and then you meet them. It's kind of a let down because they're not their character or there can be an asshole or they're not very smart. And you're just like, Oh, I wish I never met you so that you could just live on in my dreams. Is this awesome person? I'm consistently moral. All of them were really cool. It's like it's like when people meet me. They're like, Oh my God, you're as dumb as you are on TV. I'm literally like, I just recorded that on the iPhone. Uh, sue me. I'm going to play it. So like literally when I met the cast of veggie tales, they were so cool. I told Patrick about it and he was like, you totally should call the cast of little women. Like they would totally want to talk to you and I'm like, Oh my God, this is a huge interview. It's like some show on own. It's like the bad girl season 19. Like I literally wanted to talk to that girl. He threatened to take another girl's eye out with a corkscrew and Patrick was like, go for it. Like he believes in me. Oh, well, guess what? We made it. This is a big long juicy podcast. Super fun. Thank you everyone for listening. You can find us on facebook.com/watchwalkcrapins. We have our hangout next Thursday. Keep an eye out on our Facebook page on Patreon for instructions on how to join that. Keep on keeping on as it were. Thank you everyone for listening and thanks for supporting and thanks for spreading the word about our podcast. Thanks everybody. Bye. Bye. Bye. If you like Watch What Crapins, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at Wondery.com/survey. I'm Lindsey Graham, host of Wondery Show American Scandal. Welcome back to life some of the biggest controversies in US history. Presidential lies, environmental disasters, corporate fraud. In our latest series, entrepreneur Lou Perlman becomes the mastermind behind two of the biggest pop groups in the world, the Backstreet Boys, and In Sync. He also oversees a sprawling business empire that includes a charter jet company, restaurants and real estate. But Perlman's successful facade crumbles after he's sued by the boy bands for siphoning and soon investigators discover that Perlman is keeping his empire afloat through an even more devious scheme. Follow American Scandal on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Experience all episodes ad-free and be the first to binge the newest seasons only on Wondery Plus. You can join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app, Apple Podcast or Spotify. Start your free trial today. trial today.
