We know you're listening because you can't get enough drama, but there are some things that should stay drama free like getting birth control, accessing gender affirming care, getting tested for STIs. Health care shouldn't be dramatic, but lawmakers insist on attacking our rights to get the care we need and deserve your gift to Planned Parenthood helps all people no matter their race, sexual orientation, gender identity, zip code, income, or immigration status get affordable, high quality care without judgment, stigma, or drama. So don't wait, make your gift now at planperinhood.org/protect. This time of year is busy, family obligations, holiday parties, travel, relaxation might fall to the bottom of your priority list. You guys, you need to take time to relax, and you need to be somewhere where there's soft, white sand, healing, crystal blue water, cloudless skies. We know where that place is. Aruba, shake off any cold weather blues, and enjoy the islands invigorating sunshine. Aruba has the most sunny days anywhere in the Caribbean. I promise you, this trip is going to be at least ten times better than the trip to Aaron's Hampton's home on Real Housewives of New York, but that doesn't take much. I mean, it doesn't even compare. Aruba is a geeky gorgeous. Please always choose Aruba over Aaron's home. We know you can't stay on vacation forever, but a trip to Aruba, honestly, it just never ends. Because the happiness and relaxation you feel in your bones, it just stays with you. Book your trip today at aruba.com. (music) Hello, welcome to Watch What Crap Inns, the podcast about all that crap we love to talk about on The O'Brobs. I'm Ronnie Karam from Trash Talk TV, and my beautiful, lovely co-host with gorgeous sparkly eyes. And the soul that never needs to go through a cycle. Mr. Ben Mandelker of the B side blog and the Bander Blender podcast. Hello, Ben. Hello, hello. I'm so glad I don't have to go a soul cycle now. I was a little concerned. I was just about to put on my special shoes. No, I mean, I'm not talking about exercise. I haven't seen your body in a long time, but your soul does not need to go through anything. It's not need to go through any cycles, okay? The soul is fine. Would you say that it is perhaps in asylum? No, I would say that it is inconsistently. What do you call just like a consistent... You don't even have to go into the washing machine. Maybe just occasionally you need to be sprayed with that dry clean sprayer and then put in the dryer. Maybe my soul just needs a little Febreze here and there. Yeah, sometimes, sometimes. Sounds like a massive soul decision to make. Soul cycle. Oh my God, I can't wait to talk about soul cycle. Anyway, welcome to the show. Today we're talking about Real Housewives of the Bev Hills, Newlyweds and Vanderpump Drools. Come to Facebook. Come to facebook.com/wattrokrapins to talk to other listeners throughout the week about the shows as they air. There are some good, funny, hilarious comments going on in there. And we read them all. You can also post your housewives articles, etc. Come to WatchWetcrapins.com. Jesus, Ronnie. It's going to be that kind of day, okay? It really is. It really is. Stumbling. Come to WatchWetcrapins.com for our personal links. If you want to find us on Twitter or the instep-wood-ives. And you should. Come over to patreon.com/watchwetcrapins. That's where you get your bonus ringtones. Like the one I just played for you before this episode. James' song. Ben May. That's a ringtone this week. And next week is going to be Phaedra's laugh. [screaming] So if you want that as a ringtone, go over there. We do Google Hangouts and a weekly bonus episode. Next week we're going to have a huge bonus episode about OJ. Two episodes of OJ. Which I'm excited because they had their Fay episode this week. I haven't seen it yet, but I'm excited to watch that. Excited. So that's it for all of that stuff. Let's get to the show, Ben. Yeah. Okay, so today we're going to talk about Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. We are going to talk about newlywed telling. You're not listening in this relationship. You know what? Maybe my soul does need to go through a cycle too. Your eardrums need a cycle. What can I say? I was staring at the little piece of ginger on my supermarket sushi tray and I, in fact, had to see Nick. Well, the secret to a good marriage. My own parents proved this. The secret to a very long lasting happy marriage is not listening to 80% of what the other person says. The odd thing is that I actually really was listening, but somehow I must have like zoned out for all of like one second. I love it. Welcome to my podcast about redundancy. On this week's episode, Beverly Hills. Back to you, Ronnie. Okay, on this episode, Beverly Hills. Back to you, Ben. Ben, your soul doesn't even need a cycle. By the way, I am a little upset that you did not pick up on my 1990s band references to soul decision and soul asylum. You know, I didn't because I know as much now as I did then about popular music. I do not care. I listen to show tunes and old jazz singers back then. And I'm still listening to them now with the occasional Beyonce thrown in there just because I want to hear about her writing Jay-Z's face or whatever the hell she's talking about these days. Well, you should you should do yourself a solid and at least go listen to soul decision because their song Faded remains one of my favorite songs of all time. Faded. Let it go. Talking about faded. Kind of faded, but I feel all right. Think about make about move tonight. I can't pretend that you're all in my frame and make my arm. Ben, why are you talking about that? When we have a new Kanye West in the house. We have a white Kanye West. White Kanye West. Wow, we are going to have a lot of fun to talk about this week or this episode. Why don't we just open up that mailbag first and just get to that. It's just we get crazy. Mailbag. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Okay, just a reminder, if you would like to contribute to the Crapins mailbag, you just have to sign up on Patreon and donate at the mailbag level. So you see all the details of that on patreon.com/watchforcrapins. Plug. Okay, so let's see. There are a bunch of people we did not get to on Tuesday, so let's just go through this. So Michael Horn demands that we imagine a conversation between Meghan King Edmonds and Kristen Duty says, "Thanks. Peace, love and justice headbands, you go." Okay, who do you want to be? I'll be Kristen. Kristen. Okay, what do you want to talk about? I want to talk about sketch comedy and how I killed the game last night. Seriously? Seriously? I'm like so funny. Look, all I'm trying to say is that your comedy is really sketchy. And so I googled it and I went on the internet and I called the comedy plays and they've never heard of you. So #justice. Seriously? You think you know everything about it, but here are my transcripts from Newport Sketch Comedy Imaging. And you can see very clearly that I took classes there. Seriously, seriously. Seriously, I'm going to have a one-on-one special with Andy Cohen to talk about all my sketch comedy academia and then you'll learn the truth. Seriously? Seriously? Look, okay. My husband's mother died while she was watching the sketch comedy show. And a beam fell on her head. So for you to come here and try and get attention doing sketch comedy, I'm going to get you. I will go to the ends of the earth to get you. I'll check just this. Seriously? Like, I'm sorry that that's not going to happen. Seriously, I'm going to have a one-on-one special with Andy Cohen to talk about all my sketch comedy academia. And then you'll learn the truth. Seriously? Seriously? Like, I'm sorry that that happened, but I'm like literally friends with every mother fucking one of these sketch comedy fans here. So really, you're the one with the problem. Seriously? Seriously? I start Sketch Comedy's Megan. Lara from New York. It's Shannon Bador. David? David? Why aren't you in the monologue? Jane, you ignorant bitch. Oh, I said it. I said it. Well, come to weekend update. Today's update is I've had 35 negative thoughts. Oh, no, 43. Okay. So you're next week. Anyway, okay. Sammy Suleiman, I hope I said your name correctly, Sammy, says it's Salem 1692. And every housewife ever is a resident of the town. Of these bewitching ladies who is burned innocently. Who leads the coven? Who is the most overzealous witch hunter and who is actually Satan in human form? Oh, that's good. Okay. I think that the most innocent one, but that gets burned anyway, would probably be Carlton. Because she's the one who's always talking about witchiness. But she's probably like that light bulb you can screw into like a million different bulbs, but it never quite works right. It's always flickering. She just can't get anything to work right. Like even Satan is bored with Carlton. Yeah. Well, I feel like Carlton is the sort of person who like pulls out the Ouija board and is like, let's quote unquote talk to the spirits and then all of a sudden they are. You know what she is? She's like whoopi Goldberg and ghost like a quote unquote psychic until she actually is one. She's like, whoa. I don't know with that. I don't know what that means where she falls. That's why she burned innocently, perhaps. Yeah. She's already been burned because she's gone now. Bye. Maybe Lydia or Lizzie, maybe Lizzie gets burned innocently, you know, because she's sort of sweet and nice, but boring. So they just burn her at the stake. Lizzie gets burned because she's trying to make everybody wear terrible bikinis. Yeah. You're not allowed to do that. She's trying to give witch makeovers. Leading the coven. I mean, you know what? You know me. I usually will say Tamara to any of these quite theoretical questions. Although she may be the overzealous witch hunter. I wouldn't be surprised at that. I think Heather the bro. I think the one leading the coven would be Bethany because everybody just does whatever Bethany says. Like even if they hate her and try and come up against her at the end, they're like, I'm sorry. Okay. I'm sorry Bethany. I'm so sorry I did that. Okay. I burned a baby. Okay. I burned a baby for you. Are you happy now? Okay. To be fair, she has some really good branding thoughts for the witches. She's like, okay. You know, I see us right now. I see this coven. I'm like, I don't get what it's all about. Like, are we witches? Are we just like women in robes? Are we like hats or like brooms? Are we like all about like cleaning things up? I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it's like to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. I know what it is to be a witch. Sign up for a dash pass annual plan and get max included at no extra cost. It's your door to more. Max is now included with your dash pass annual plan. Stream max with ads up to $120 value included at no extra cost. Terms apply. See door dash dot com slash max for details. Audible's best of 2024 picks are here. From memoirs and sci-fi to mysteries and thrillers, Audible's curated list in every category is the best way to hear 2024's best in audio entertainment. Like a stunning new full cast production of George Orwell's 1984. And first of all, Everett's brilliantly subversive James. Audible, there's more to imagine when you listen. I actually am really excited to hear George Orwell's 1984 again because last time I read that was back in, I don't know, middle school or something like that. And the world has changed so much with technology and everything like that. I feel like now is the perfect time to revisit and listen to it on Audible. Especially when it's told by a full cast like that. Like it's a full production. It's going to be like a radio play, you know? That's major. Go to Audible dot com slash crap ins and discover all the years best waiting for you. That's Audible dot com slash crap ins. Yeah, so then we have this intercutted, this intercutted. In my English, this intercut scene of all the women talking about the email, the big email. And then they all read it. They all took turns reading it. So I was thinking maybe we could do that as well. Sure, sure. Let's do it. So you want to go. Let me see here. I've got it pulled up. So I'll start with Yolanda's voice and then we'll just switch off paragraphs doing whatever housewife we want. And this is an email that Yolanda sent to Kyle the day after lunch at Frida. And also we have to say there is no credit on this. But this was written by Daisy the nurse war because we've all read a Yolanda email before. We read one last year and it was really like it wasn't even as intelligent as alphabet soup. And also let's point out the reason why we have this full email is because Yolanda posted the full email on her Bravo blog. Well, she couldn't even post it on Bravo. Oh, yeah, you're right. So she got a WordPress account to post it and of course has no commenting ability. I checked. So she's like, I get the pressing of the word and Bravo TV.com and I will put it on my own blog. You go for it, Yolie. Kyle September of the 20 of the 10.5. After manating on what went down yesterday. I want to bring a couple of things to your attention. I am coming out of a three year ordeal of living in a mentally paralyzed cocoon due to an affection in my brain called all caps. Neuroborealiosis. Something you might want to research in case you want lack to have a better understanding of Lyme disease. The biggest global epidemic in today's world. Well, I don't give a fuck. I arrived with a great attitude yesterday and proud of myself for making out of bed and joining your girls like who the fuck cares, you know? Like, for you to go down so hard on me in order to create drama or what you think is good TV is beyond my understanding and it left me quite confused. Living is a very isolated world. I am not used to being attacked in such an unkind way. It has taken me some time to digest it. I love that you chose Erica to say you went down so hard on me. You go down so hard on me. That's so funny. As far as I know, Lisa Rinna in our incident was clearly resolved at Erica's house. Darling, get the horse out of the living room, darling. Rosie has just done this rug. Alright, then I put my glasses back on there. CVS. By the way, she looks so good with those glasses on. As far as I knew, Lisa Rinna blasted it. CC is the producer of our show and as CC Bloom is the producer of our show. And as far as I know, he's doing an excellent job. I do believe that the show is a collaboration of something, I don't know, there's something cut off. But the next page, okay, you just start the one, the next one. I believe that the show is a collaboration of, we missed a paragraph of something, darling. I also would like to clarify with you that my deal of bravo and evolution was based on the best of my ability. Whether that is filming three or ten or thirty times the season. So I'd appreciate if you would lower your expectations of how much I should participate in filming. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Sitting at home, staring at the ceiling, waiting for my brain to heal, is not a choice for me. But unfortunately, the cards, life has delved me. Okay, baby. I am already feeling unaccomplished as it is, okay? That's how Kim used to make me feel, you know? Like, I don't work. So please don't make me feel like I'm not holding up my part of the bargain here, okay? If I was living a life with my family and friends, sitting in front row of fashion week with my girls and not show up to work, I would understand your frustration with me. But unfortunately, that's not the case to stop, to come to work, okay? And my daughters are supermodels in case you forgot. Yeah, so I wasn't even just at my own work with this show. I was at their work, like, in the front row, and I'll have you know, I was in the front row, okay, at fashion week. I know everybody there. Do you know Tommy Hilfiger, Liger is? I do. He's like a tiger. It rhymes with tiger, okay? I know him. So please trust me when I say, I'm doing the best that I can. Like you, I want to make the best show possible. But I can't do more than I do for reasons you will probably never understand. Oh, sorry. Oh, yeah, no, you can finish off. We have two strong, beautiful new housewives, echoncatuin. That given a chance could help make a great season. And it's not signed, but I would imagine that it's go eat a lemon, your stupid cow. So here's what's interesting. Your lander still living with invisible disease, Foster. So here's what's interesting. Yolanda is right that Kyle was out to make TV, for sure. But here's what Yolanda forgot. She's on TV. That's what happens when you go with, when you meet with these women for lunch. Something's going to happen every time. And it might be annoying that Kyle does it, you know? And it might be like, and the way Kyle does it is in this like very thirsty, obvious way. Bitch, you're on a reality show. You're on the real housewives. Okay, this is par for the course. And you're also trying to make TV by bringing your lime into every damn scene that you do, okay? You could be at someone else's wedding and you'd stand up to give a toast and be like, I would like to congratulate the tick for infesting my body because this is the longest relationship I've ever had. It won't leave me. I just love that, you know, in her theoretical portion of email where she's saying, like, if I could, like, don't you think I want to be out there sitting in front row with my daughter, with my daughters at like Fashion Week? It's like, any chance you can to mention Gigi and the other one and the other one. And I love that it's not like, oh, I'm too sick to get out of bed. It's like, yes, of course I was in New York. And yes, I went on watch what happens. And yes, I did all this fun stuff. But I still at least showed up to work. It's not like I was just laying in bed and not doing the other stuff, you know, or while I was doing the other stuff. She's like a child. Oh, but it was a very passive and very passive aggressive for her to send it to the whole cast. And it's the biggest global epidemic in today's world. But there's also a lot of hypocrisy of Kyle Richards. Being mad that your laundry didn't keep it between the two of them when Kyle was the one who raised the whole thing in front of everyone at lunch. See, this is the Mohammed thing at lunch and the Mohammed thing. Kyle's also the one who brought up the Mohammed thing. She's also the one that, oh God, whatever, we don't need to go. I don't need to start with Kyle again. I'm already exhausted with Kyle. I know. So let's see. So that's, this is a big intercut scene about all of this stuff. And of course, Lisa Vanderpump and her biggest victim mode ever, if she's like, darling, I just don't understand what I've done to your life. Does your lantern not remember what we've done for her? I could make a list. Do you remember that time? I sent her a goldfish. I sent her an actual goldfish. Ken, I had it driven all the way to Malibu. I'm of course talking about a cracker, not an actual goldfish poor thing couldn't care for anything living. Then she sent me a diatribe about trying to infest her with gluten, darling. Do you remember that after the goldfish cracker? Oh, I can't do anything right then, can I? I sent her an entire goldfish cracker, and last thing I heard, that she gave it to the man selling little mermaid towels at the corner. I mean, that was a gift for crying out loud. Oh, Yolanda's texting me, she's watching the scene as we film, and she's infuriated that I've mentioned the little mermaid man. She said that I'm telling the world that she owns a Walmart, darling. I didn't say that, darling. What can I do, darling? Now she's mad at me because I bought a towel from Bed Bath and Beyond. I'm supposed to go all the way to Malibu to patronize the little mermaid towel man. I don't think so. Darling, loaning her horse when David Foster wouldn't buy her another one is the worst thing I've ever done. She's blaming him for her lime now, darling. Look, I already introduced her to terror. I mean, how many horses does she want? When I sent her an apology letter, I said, "Dear Yolanda." And then she sent me an evil email saying, "How could I bring up deer when I know that she's infected with lime, darling?" What can I do? You know, I sent her an apology letter on the finest laser printer paper that I could find at CVS. And what does she do? She complains it's made of wood, which is where ticks live. I mean, I can't win. Oh, Yolie. Okay, so... Alina's pissed about me in the dinner party. Blah, blah, blah. Notes, notes, notes. Okay, so then we go. Then we end up at this dinner at Lisa's house, who blessed her hard. I mean, you know, bless her. Lisa made the chicken, although she basically was just like lying on the flamingo and being... Seriously, I take the chicken out. Take it out. Put it back in. Take it out. Put it back in. Darling, I've saved a lemon from your landers. I've shoved it up the chicken's ass. And I've made this for dinner. Don't anybody talk about your lander. 'Cause it's all Yolanda talks. That's all Yolanda would ever make. 'Cause that goddamn roast chicken with a lemon shoved up its ass every day. Hello, David. My love. Well, come home, my king. I've made two chicken. He's like, "Oh, Jesus Christ. You only got to blow for a better fucking dinner around here." Alina Garten. Mm-hmm. 'Cause she makes roast chicken for Jeffrey every Friday night. He probably fucked her about as many times as Jeffrey Fucks I know. So anyway, so the women all come over and they're all... So they all go down to Lisa's wine bar, which I never knew existed, but it's like down the hill. I think she built it after Bethany, right? 'Cause wasn't she saying Bethany had one and I don't want to go. No, no. No, no. She was saying that like, "Yes, Bethany had one, but mine's better. I didn't want to say anything, but mine's better." 'Cause she's like, "You look at Bethany's and it was like this cute..." It was a cute little wine bar shed thing. That was furnished from Marshall, so. Yeah, and then you have like... Then you have Lisa's and it's like magnums of Tom Perignon. Yeah. It's just like... Bethany's was... Bethany's was... Bethany's was furnished by Marshall's and mine was furnished by a man named Marshall, who I flew here from Morocco. He brought his old grandmother and turned her into a bookcase. Do you like the spelling? Okay. Um, so they're down there and everything and they're having... They're having dinner. And then Catherine being the best girlfriend that she is, 'cause you know, she's a good girlfriend. She's like, "So I went to Erika's place." And so she said, "Lisa, you're manipulative." Yeah, she told me everything. She started to cry. She says, "Manipulative." She told me her deepest secrets. And these are what they are, A, B, and C. She said you're like a spider spinning a web. So I mean, whatever that means. Yeah. She's like, "Yeah, so I told her that I'd be her best girlfriend. I wouldn't go and run until everything she told me to all you guys." But here we are. Someone tweeted at me yesterday saying that Catherine was on Watch What Happens and said that she promised Erika to be a good woman friend to her before Erika started all of the Vanderpump bashing. So the Vanderpump bashing negated the earlier promise of her being a good girlfriend. Oh, I didn't realize it was... So she was a good girlfriend for 30 seconds. Oh, okay. It's like I ate her cinnabons. So what else am I supposed to do? Yeah. She was a good girlfriend from 11.43 a.m. to 11.57 a.m. and then the deal was broken. And of course this comes out of nowhere to Lisa, which is hilarious to me. Why didn't she defend Lisa then? If this is true, then why is it that when Erika said I think she's manipulative, why didn't she say, "Well, I don't think so." I don't think she even knows her well enough. Well, you can't say that-- She's only hung out with her two days or something. Well, we can say that Katherine's totally stupid because she knows who to cozy up to. That's right. That's one of the first ones who hasn't tried getting her right out of the gate. So Lisa looked genuinely shocked, which is hilarious because Lisa always wants to like the broken down host. So she automatically liked Erika. She loves an outspoken, slutty. You know, she loves all that stuff. And so, of course, she's being stabbed by another one. But that was a good move by Katherine. I have to say, it made me like her a bit more this week. You see? It was a smart move for her, but it was also like, you know, it made me laugh because, you know, this is the sort of thing. This is the sort of reason why Erika doesn't have close female friends because this is what we see a lot of women do on these shows. They just like totally backstab each other. And then Lisa turns it into a big victim thing. Well, of course I'm a spider in a web, darling. The first book I ever read to my children was Charlotte's web. And everyone thought that spider was so mean, and they tried to kill that spider. But in the end, she was just writing the messages that would save their lives, and no one ate the big darling. Alright, past the bacon dressing, would you, darling? You know, the itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout, and then down came the rain and washed the spider out. And no one ever thought about the poor spider, and I just capped all the little souls. I went to the film Arachnid with John Goodman being attacked by spiders. And I just remember thinking, everyone's worrying about John Goodman's family. What about the poor spider, darling? That was a mass spider murder, darling. Did you know what that film did to the spider community? How could they even name the movie Arachnophobia? You're just telling people to be afraid of us. Thank you, Arachnid. I'm so dumb. It's okay. It's movies look 25 years old, so you're allowed to mess it up. And that brings us to the end of the real house wall. Well, and the one thing is that, so I lean out of all this, like, why would Arachnid say that? That's when I lean. Like, that's when she graphs that. She's like, well, maybe she was saying, because she's really projecting something else. Sort of like how I'm still really upset at you about the Hamptons. Like, what? I don't know if she didn't even make it that linear. Yeah, she was like, maybe Arachnid is saying this because she picked up on that stuff in the Hamptons. Arachnid wasn't there for that. No, no, no, Erika was there for when Eileen was trying to talk to Lisa a second time. Yeah, but she wasn't there at the dinner. But still, the theory is still so tenuous because Eileen's like, well, maybe she thinks you're manipulative because the time when you're manipulative in the Hamptons with me, it's like, what? Or maybe because you've talked about it nonstop to her and anybody who would listen since that happened. Also, Erika, look, everybody knows it's not even a theory. It's what has happened on the show. Erika's come out for Lisa since the very beginning. She's been team-yolanda the whole time. I mean, she's a total puppet. It's like, I'll be nice to, you know, I'll say lots of nice things about my fellow old ho. And then, you know, we'll go, we'll bring Vanderpump down. But unfortunately, they've cast yet another person who's too stupid to actually do it. I mean, I love, I love my Lisa Vanderpump, but she's been wrong a zillion times on this show. And someday, someone will get her good, but you guys are going to have to learn how to do it first, you know? Yeah, it's hard, though. I mean, Lisa, all she does is just continue to secure her position at the top. I mean, she's got two shows for crying out loud, and she's at the top of both of them. So, I mean... She's like, please victimize me, darling. They're doing just what she wants, you know? Well, not everyone starts to turn around Lisa. She's like, all right, victimize me, and then she becomes a saint again. Listen, not everyone loves Lisa Vanderpump. You know, we both love her. Some of our listeners hate her. So, there, you know, to us, she can't be knocked off her pedestal to others. She's been knocked off years ago. Yeah. So, true. Well, you know, she is a manipulative, back-talking c-word, but she does it in just such a graceful, fun way. I just love it. That's all. It's just, yeah, exactly. All these women have their faults, and a lot of them have overlapping faults. It's just how you are faulted, like how you are awful. And if you can make me laugh at the same time that you're being a cut fitness, then you win. Exactly. That's a lot of stroke swans. That's what it's like being gay. As long as you can make us laugh while you're being terrible. We're down for it. No kidding. I mean, um, what was the, uh, Liza Manelli's mom? What is wrong with me? Judy Garland, like, the gays loved her. She could barely stand up towards the end. She was singing, like, uh, uh, um, wha, uh, like barfing on this date, and we loved her even more because she's owning her. Well, I mean, not owning it, I guess. She was running out on every bill in town, but she was still getting up on stage and just being whatever kind of a mess she could and earning her paycheck, you know? We love a mess. Sure we will. I'm sure we will revisit this topic when Southern Charm comes back. And my favorite, um, who you actually dislike, uh, what's her face, the old lady? Well, I think she's hilarious, and I'm super glad she's on the show, but I think she's a total cut fitness. Patricia's full. Oh, she's an awful racist old twat. I do not like that lady at all. What an awful human being. And I can't wait to watch her again. So anyway, um, before we move on to, uh, what's it called? Newlyweds. The first year. Let's, uh, let's take a moment to, uh, enjoy our new segment. Clear the flam. How lucky are you that we teach you about me? Clear the flam. Clear the flam. Any excuse to make another little jingle or jitty? So this is a segment that we will be, uh, doing, uh, talking about carifla, uh, Caroline Fleming's Instagram because it is fucking amazing. Okay. Absolutely amazing. So I will begin. Caroline Fleming of Ladies of London. Hashtag Pilates with core power fitness and at trueby app at hashtag home. Great way to start the day after dropping my little darlings at school. Didn't feel like working out at all, but so glad I did it now. A great reminder that the hardest decisions are often the best. Dot, dot, dot. Like the ones who are hardest to love are the ones who need it the most dash. Have a great day. Emoji heart. There's a whole lot of, uh, extrapolation from just doing some yoga on your rug. Okay. The hardest decisions in life are often the best ones. But you just decided to do yoga. Okay. Cause you did a downward dog on the bedroom floor. Does not mean you made a significant change for mankind. Yeah, she's wearing like some weird pantyhose with some weird 80s workout outfit. Basically lying on a yoga mat that's on top of an oriental rug. We times cold and bad anymore. Do you know? So the one, the picture that I brought up, it's Caroline. She's doing a selfie, taking a picture of herself in the mirror. She's wearing jeans and like a little sweater and an old jacket thing. Hair is up. One knee sort of like bent a little bit. And this is her caption. @diesel #dieseldenum #dieselspringsummer16. Now is the perfect time to go and find that perfect pair of jeans that's make you feel fabulous. I have and always will be a get up and go kind of girl. In jeans, no time to brush my hair. Jeans just work. X, X, X. I'm really sure Caroline Fleming, you just get up out of bed. Put on your jeans. Don't even do anything to your hair and go outside. I'm very sure. How lucky are you to have me not brush my hair? What an idiot. Thank God for Instagram. And now, clear the flam. Clear the flam. Clear the flam. Clear it. The flam. Ooh. I love it. We love it. So now, let's move on to newlyweds, the first and most likely last year. Oh, this episode had me cracking up a lot, especially Craig and Brandon this week. Oh, yeah. The gays were hilarious this week. Do you want to start with the gays? Oh, yes. Oh, it is because they're the best couple of this bunch. I think they're the only couple that will probably make it. Well, maybe Robin Rowe will make it. You think? You think, hon? You think we're going to make it? I think we're going to make it to you. This is trying to feel like therapy. Oh, gosh. It's not therapy. It's just that I want to tell you stuff that will help your brain. Like therapy? Well, okay. Like therapy. Yes. Therapy. Okay. Welcome to therapy. Oh, it's how fun we're therapy. So the big issue is that so Craig and Brandon were going to Florida. I'm making a version board. Yeah. Yeah. Craig walks in and Brandon is making a vision board. What are you doing, hon? Making a vision board. What's on it? A swimsuit. You're tanning. Whoa. You're tanning cream. You have to rub up on everything. So I can't even keep a vision board clean around here. Sorry, hon. Sorry. I just was thinking about Crystal and I wasn't paying attention. I love that crystal. So, um, that's a new way. We're going to go to Florida to visit Craig's family. And Brandon has an issue because when Craig is around his family, especially his dad, he tends to be more reserved. Craig's like, no, I'm not. That's crazy. I'm just as affectionate as always. They came to our wedding, Brandon. Brandon's like, when you and your dad pick me up from the airport after us not seeing each other for two weeks, you shook my hand. And then Greg's like, hmm. I mean, well, where my dad's from, that is like a hug and it was hard for him to watch that to men hugging like that with their hands. It's difficult. They're so funny and I love that Brandon brought it up. He's like, well, you know what this vision board is making me think about how I'm upset that you don't treat me right in front of your dad. I was like, your vision board. Don't put that on your vision board. Okay. So they're going for Craig's grandma's birthday. And, um, he's like, my dad doesn't hate gay people. He's just, you know, afraid of them. It doesn't mean he's homophobic. He's like, have you told your parents that we're planning to have a baby? No. Are you planning to? No. I was just gonna say, look, we found this kid outside and thought we'd bring him in for some dinner every time we visit, you know? Does it look like Crystal? Oh my God. How cute is this baby? It's a Crystal baby. They'll accept a stranger baby if they know it looks like Crystal. They love Crystal. Who doesn't? I have Crystal in front of my dad. Isn't that enough? And in big surprise, I know I told you we're going to Florida to see my parents. But guess what? We're going to go visit Crystal instead. We're going to Crystal land. So they go see the parents and Greg is just the same way with his parents as he is with his husband. He's like, Mom, could you do my laundry? Like he brought dirty laundry for his mother to do in his suitcase. And Brandon is like, I hope you didn't pack your bag like that. I love how Brandon gets off a lot. He gets in terms of criticism because Greg is always messy. I've been doing these silly things that we focus so much on Craig. But the truth is that Brandon is above and beyond and he freaks. He's like, I can't believe you didn't even fold your clothes in your bag. This is a travesty. He also just gets off on being the mommy. I mean, we know so many people with daddy issues or mommy issues from the show, like Craig, you know, he's like dating a father figure. But then Brandon, what is it? What is it called? A child issue? Like sun issues or baby issues when you have to be the mom or the dad? So they've obviously got that, but you know what? It seems to work for them. Yeah. I mean, they seem happy. So they go to Florida and I really love how fast the world has changed because we're kind of expecting it to be awful because they're afraid of the parents and this and that. And of course, there's nothing to be afraid of. The parents are so supportive and loving and that was so cute. Craig goes fishing with his dad. And I love it from Craig and Brandon's point of view. Craig is really trying to butch it up around his parents. And he's going fishing with his dad. And he's like, ew worms. Ew, it's so money, dad. Gross. And I was like, yeah, look at that turtle. That turtle might get that duck up. Get away from that turtle duck. That's what it was. Well, I had the turtle crack. I got that turtle. He's like, well, dad, I just want to talk to you about something that actually Brandon brought up. And I guess I do this. So I guess when we're around you, I'm just sort of like not very affectionate to Brandon. And that's like, oh, because of the gay thing. Yeah. Oh, because of gay? And he's like, yeah, it's like, well, that's your problem, not mine. I've decided to talk to you about this right now because you're chomping on a humongous phallic symbol and I thought it would be okay, dad. His dad had a huge cigar. And his dad's like, well, look, we don't care. We're supportive of you guys. I mean, I just feel bad for parents who aren't supportive. It's our job to be supportive of our kids. I mean, that was so sweet. So sweet and lovely. And Craig's like, yeah, but these worms are gross, dad. He's like, I know my little homo. Now let's go home. Let's go homo, my little homo. So cute. So then they're telling all the family. And he's like, the uncle, the uncle, the aunt. And they're all like, you know, uncle, they're all funny and sweet and so lovely. And so Florida, by the way, they're all from Canada and they just come to Florida for the winters, like most people in Florida. But they sure embrace that, you know, snowbird lifestyle. Yeah, that whatever the local TJ Maxx is called. I forget what it's called. They have a TJ Maxx there. But a lot of khaki shorts, which I don't say it's the standings. I just bought some khaki shorts myself. But they still had cargoes in them telling in this in the Florida scene. So they go on a lot of floral prints and tight wife beater t-shirts on the moms. And their news are breaking into like, we're holding hands, which was so funny. The family is like, okay, what's about to happen? Are they about to make a deal? Yeah. Well, guys, you know how sometimes people make babies. Yeah. Well, Brandon's sister wants to have a baby, but she is married to another woman. Those are called lesbians. They're like, yeah, yeah. Dikes, we got it. Well, they need a baby. So I'm going to be a donation. They're like, uh, so we talking about a turkey baster here. They're like, Greg's mom is like, you'll make a beautiful parent, whatever. Yeah. Don't trust him with a turkey baster. I've already tried that one time at Thanksgiving. It was the only Thanksgiving the turkey burnt. Don't do it. Her mom, his mom telling Brandon, I'm so glad he found someone. I never thought he would find someone who would be able to live with him. I had to do it for years. It was terrible. But you're doing it. We had to paint all the walls brown because he just kept on rubbing up against him with his tanner. I've never seen a two year old insist on tanner at the target, but he sure did. Wow. So they're doing this thing. The parents are like, yeah, you're going to have a baby. And he's like, yeah, but then, you know, then we wanted one, but then I started thinking about Brandon's feelings because it was all about what I wanted. Crystal's face that came out of somebody. The crystal's face on my legacy. But then I realized Brandon's right. When that baby comes out, I can't let anybody slap it on the butt to make it breathe because I can't let anybody slap Crystal. So Brandon can do what he wants. What the hell? So basically the big bombshell is that Craig said he didn't want Crystal's egg. He wanted Brandon's sister's egg instead, which it was actually, it was actually a really lovely moment because they're both because it was oddly enough. I was like resonated with me because Craig worships Crystal. Like if you like, if there were room for Crystal in this relationship, she would definitely be there, you know? If this was a two bedroom house, she'd be there. Yeah. I mean, Brandon would be totally Fred Flintstone. So for him to say I'm going to sacrifice Crystal's egg and let's do the other egg was like a gigantic sacrifice. Yeah. That was crazy. But the minute that baby comes out, he's going to start contouring its face to look like crystals. Yeah. You're never too young to learn about contouring. Oh, and I also like that he was like, okay, family. Now I want to have a discussion while I hold this man's hand. But I don't want to make it all about me and I guess it's always all about you. It's a difference. Yeah. You were made fishing about you and there was that turtle drama. I mean, come on. Well, what I loved, what I loved was how after this like big moment and they're crying and I'm like, oh, you'll make great parents. One of the women, I think I'm, I don't know who's the grandmother or the auntie. I don't know. I don't want to like insult anyone. But she was like, I'm so glad I'm old. Well, to be fair in a town without face lifting, you can't really tell. When you're from LA and then you see people from the rest of the country, you're like, telling. Yes. This is the sun out 24 hours a day here. And do you live inside of it? I know. So they, Brandon and Craig, they, you know, they make me laugh so much, but I'm not really laughing at them as, I don't know. I just, I'm totally laughing at them. And I laugh at them, but it's not really from the same. It's not, it doesn't have the disdain attached to it as with the other people on the show. Oh, yeah. I really like them. But they're hilarious. So the Persians, the person princess and her stupid, wide eyed, stupid husband controlling asshole, they're stupid. She finally went on a plane and you got to love that her husband, he's written a book about being an addict and talks about it in every single episode. You want to meditate? You want to meditate? She wants to meditate. Every episode, she's reverting more and more and more into like a child teenager state. It's actually, I think, pathological. Yeah, they're both fucking Nazis too. So he's the one who's always talking about addiction, this and that. And he's like, well, would you like a drink? Because that helps. I'm like, hello. So he gets her drunk basically. On the plane. Yeah, on the plane. So she can do it. Congratulations. You got passed a house wide storyline that we've been sick of since season one of Beverly Hills, the fake fear of flying shut up, bitch. So they get there, then they have a fight about her parents. And she says, if they could just, you know, they're happy and romantic on this trip and they're kissing. And it's so great. And then she goes, well, if we could just have my family, then this relationship would be perfect. It would be amazing. And he's like, I don't want to talk about it. Which by the way, I think it's amazing to me. But she, but for her to, so I mean, what she was saying was totally fine and appropriate to say. It was great. The only thing that I wish were better was I wish if you, if you guys just got along, then it would be perfect. Which is exactly right. Like if they got along, it'd be perfect. And then he throws a tantrum. He's like, eh, like it's already perfect. Like I wish we didn't have to even deal with your parents. Like you just had to ruin it. You had to ruin it by mentioning your parents. Oh, my, my, my, my. Like what an asshole. Like just seriously making it into like this. He just made it into this like a pity party for him. Like I can't believe you. There you are. Your parents ruining another perfect moment. You know, no, she's right. If he and his and her parents, regardless of whose fault it is, if they just got along, then there'd be no issues. That's the only issue that they really have side of the fact that, you know, he is a control freak asshole dick. Oh, he's the worst. He said, well, oh, yeah, well, this marriage would be amazing for me if I didn't have to deal with your family at all. I'm like, oh, how romantic. Okay. Fast forward. You're both idiots. Real. He is a real, real asshole. And I hope that she, I just, I hope that she finds someone else. So the other couple that was kind of boring, but I don't really hate them, is Roan Rob boring. They were boring to speak because basically they like Rob decided that he wants to follow his dreams down in Tampa now. Like he's unhappy at his job in New York City and he wants to make it in music. So I feel like I, you know, I support that. You got to follow your dreams and, you know, if they are happier in Tampa, but is he going to be able to really follow his musical dreams in Tampa as opposed to New York? Well, I think you just have to make the music first. Yeah. I mean, if the music takes you somewhere, it takes you somewhere, but he doesn't even really make music. I mean, help put together a couple of garage band loops on a Saturday between brunch and dinner. And that's it. So I think to make it a music you have to like have a little more going, you know, you know, you have to make a little more like I feel like, um, really, before you move back to Tampa. And I understand why they want to go back there. Their family and their friends are there. But before you go back, if you want to make it a music, like as long as you're New York, just like trying to do it in New York, that's where like, there's a, I mean, the music scene in New York is so huge. I know, but it's, they can't do it. There's no. They'd have to move to like, well, they'd have to sacrifice their lifestyle. That's the problem. They would have to live, you know, out of boroughs. Yeah, you can be, you couldn't even live in Queens though anymore. It's so expensive there now. Yeah, they wouldn't be able to stay in their, they wouldn't be able to stay in their apartment. That's for sure. They would have to become bohemians, like the way everyone else who is starting out in the music industry is. And then New York, New York was an artist center because it used to be crime ridden and dirt cheap to live downtown in a big warehouse that you converted into a loft. That wasn't trendy. You know, that was what people did because they were broke and starving and stuff like that. You can't do that anymore. Those are now, you know, trillion dollar lofts down there. It's not the same thing. You know, you need to, there needs to be another place. That's the financial capital of the world. And it's an excellent city. I live there for 10 years. I fucking loved it. But I felt the same thing. I was like, why am I working so hard just to pay rent to live with five other people? This is bullshit. I'm out of here. Really? If he wants to follow music, I mean, there are music, there are definitely cities that have huge music scenes in New Orleans or, you know, et cetera. But I think if you want to like have like an active career in, especially the music that he wants to do and be on the producing side, I think he probably has to be in New York or Los Angeles or Atlanta. There's the internet now. I think if you have music and you send that music to people and they're interested in you, then you can move. Yeah. But it's not really about the location. He would not actually do the art first. You can't just play out being an artist because of where you live, you know. But there's networking too. Like he, like I think that he, the thing that being in someplace like New York or Los Angeles, you go to the shows, you meet people in the industry because it's like just doing it on the internet is like not enough anymore because everyone's doing it on the internet. I think you have to like get out there and you have to like meet people. I think of what they should do. I love how we're like giving career advice to these two idiots. But basically she has a new job that she actually likes a lot. It sounds like it's a good job. They should downsize, move to, I don't know, Bensonhurst or something. And she basically supports them and he gets some sort of income doing something and works on the music and goes out to the shows every night, get a job at a record label. I don't know what it is. That's my job. That's my advice to you. I've just put on my Susie Orm in the Jack. My advice to you is make music before you call yourself a musician. You don't just move somewhere and call yourself something and then you're that. You have to actually do that and then you can sell the product. Put the product before the fucking city. Like if he doesn't already have a ton of songs that he's recording and a bunch of stuff that he's already done, then he's not really making music. Like having a dream is cool, but you actually have to like put the work in. Well the good news for him is that there's an unfinished pump CD that's looking for a new producer. Yeah, we're almost done. But I also love that he's like I'm jealous because you're following your dream. No, she's not. She got a new job in technology. That is not starting a fashion blog as nothing to do with fashion. It's a technology site or it's a technology. True. She's having a more fun life, but she's still not following her. She's better in the situation because she went from a job she hated to one that she likes now. That's the other thing. She finally just got the job that you like and they're going to leave immediately. I don't know. I feel like Tampa should be on their two year goal maybe or three year goal, but like give it a shot people. I say get the hell out of any city that charges you twenty five hundred dollars for a shit little studio. I think get the fuck out of it. They actually really should move to L.A. because for what they both want to do, you can live here. I mean obviously the rents here have gotten really high, but there's nothing compared to New York and the stuff that they want to do. That's right. So let's move on here. We have one more couple. The biggest train wreck on this show, Donas and his dumb ass wife. What are they? Erica. Where I come from. She starts every. She starts every. I'm feeling about her relationship with Donnie. This we've been saying her looking blankly, struggling and going, no, no, no, no. She starts everything with an N sound. I went to a nurse nurse, you know, I want to know like I'm feeling things about Adonas and I'm like, I don't know how I feel, there's my husband, like, I shouldn't have to feel the sweet man, but like, because I love him, but he keeps doing things that annoy me so much. And then the feather haired therapist that Bravo flew in, he's like, so how do you feel? She's like, well, I can't really trust Adonas because like at our wedding, he was talking about girls that he wanted to fuck. So I'm like, wow, if he does that on a special day, and I'm like, is this the rest of my life? Yes. You idiot. Who did you think you were marrying full? Of course, it's the rest of your life, you damn idiot, but at least in this one, she's pretending that she's going to have a backbone because the therapist is like, well, do you want to be in? Oh, well, he says you want to be in the relationship and she's like, Hey, I'm not a city. She's like, oh, yeah, he said, do you think he's cheating on you? Everything that you know now, he's been really oddly nice, not telling you where he's going and bringing you flowers for no reason. Do you feel like he's cheating? And she's like, no, oh God, you're an idiot. You're an idiot. Yeah. So she goes away for week two, calls bud with her sisters and friend. And she does say this, which you've got to give a little credit for growth because she actually did say, I think he's just, he keeps me as secure because he knows if I mean secure and then I won't leave him, so he makes me as secure and then I am insecure and that's why I stay. I was like, whoa, that's a humongous step for you. I never thought you would think that deeply. Congratulations. Nice work. Yeah, that's probably the deepest thought she ever had in her life. I'm like, do you have any else? And then she goes off to this week with the girls and they're like, so are you going to stay with Adana? Do you still love Adana? She's like, no, I don't like them. Did you ever like them? Do you think you'll stay with them? Well, I don't want to stay with them, which means that she's going to stay with them. Yeah. That's the thing. Like I want to applaud her progress, but I know that it's just bullshit because it's one of her girlfriends told her on the phone to say and she's like, oh my God. Meanwhile, Adana spends the entire episode like falling around with like a cell phone camera. I'd be like, hey, honey, you're excited to go on your trip, going to go on and drink. Have a good time. Okay. I'm going to. I'll be here. I'll be here. Not boning anyone. What kind of shrink? What the hell kind of shrink says, you know what you need? You need to take a week for yourself and just leave Adana alone. Really? The man that you think is cheating with like 20 different people at once, you need to leave them alone, that's the last thing this relationships needs is for Adana to have some fucking time. Yeah. Just going to get home to stay is all over that comforter. Stupid. Um, um, um, newlyweds. Okay. Newlyweds. Goodbye now. Clear the newly. Clear the newly. Yeah. Clear the newly. The newlyweds. Next week is the season finale. Thank God. I hope it takes place in a divorce court, darling. Oh, yes. Well, unfortunately, I don't think they're robbed. And Persian girl are going to be getting divorced anytime soon, which is too bad. You know what? I say, keep them together. It's better to have awful people paired up and secluded and away from the dating public. Okay. It's true. Get them all off of Tinder. I'm sick of seeing their stupid needy asses. Bye. Bye. Bye. Clear the needs. Okay. Let's go over to the best show on television. Yes. How about the included people who need to be secluded from the rest of society for health reasons? Get them out of the GP. They're going to rules. I took notes on this runny. Oh, darling, I'm out. I'm shifting to lie down now, darling. I'm now lying down on couch desk. Lie down. Lie down. Reclined desk. Reclined desk. So this week's episode opens with Sheena and Ariana and Katie shopping for lingerie. And Sheena is like, I'm just one of my old friendbacks. I'm not ever gonna come shopping with us. I wanted to poke their eyes out with those stupid paper straws they were drinking champagne out of. They're like, would you like some champer? It's like, oh, my darling. I love some kind. And then they give them these stupid paper straws from the 50s and they just kept holding up them from their face. I was like, is this a straw plug? Like why do you have to show these every time you speak? They're like, look at these straws. I wrote down a note. I don't even know why I wrote this. I go, Sheena, big straw. It's also her best friend. And best friends of my straw. I just love how clueless these people are. They're in a lingerie store, okay? One of them is Sheena is buying lingerie to please a dead beat who has no job and who probably can't get a boner that goes past his man, China. And Katie is buying lingerie for a man. She hasn't fucked in over three weeks since he's proposed to her. And Ariana who's buying lingerie for Tom. I mean, come on people. Talk about people who are not looking deeply enough into their own relationships. So Ariana is complaining. She's like, it doesn't fit right. I can get to my nips on this one. Oh, this makes my butt. Oh, she's complaining about everything. And she's like, that's what I'm talking about, everything. Well, Sheena, by the way, Sheena, you've had your fair share of complaining. It's about everything. I can't believe it. Yes. What happened in her lingerie shop a few weeks from her. She still can't pass a damn restaurant without remembering the time that she got a bloody toe at one. Yeah. Remember when my top lighted that place? Oh, my God. I can never go to a bar without my toe throbbing. It's like phantom glass in my phantom toe. I think I want all of the lingerie here. I think I'm going to just try one of each of the prime cocktails. Oh, my God. I'm going to try. I want all of his brows. I love going Sheena voice. Why did she always complain? Did you just meet Ariana? Did she just become a complaining Jane Ariana has always been a sour puss complaining Jane? Why is this new? Exactly. So then after they try on their stuff and they buy it lingerie, Sheena starts talking about what she heard about the previous night. If you may remember at the end of the last episode, Tom Schwartz was upset because he quit this Vanderpump sangria thing and everyone was like, "Oh, man, you're not going to be able to support your wife. You're supposed to be getting your life together." And everyone was coming down on him and he was getting upset. And then he was really, really frustrated. And Tom Sandoval tried to like explain it by- Like if somebody says something about my band, Kristen. Yeah. You're talking about your band dude, no one wants to hear about your band. He like eluded to his band to like illustrate a point about something. And so Jack's was like, "Stop fucking talking about your band, no one wants to hear about." So then Jack told Sheena that Tom Sandoval has been like, got really mad because he wanted to talk about his band and Jack's wouldn't let him. So she was like, "Well, I heard that you and Tom were upset about the band." And then Ariana goes, "Wait, take it down. We burned, upset." Like Ariana, like please, I know this is Sheena you're talking about, but like it's just stopping condescending for one second. She can't do it. I don't know what their end goal is, Tom and Ariana. Like if they think they're going to separate themselves and be a bitch to everybody, where do they think that leaves them? They're not being bitchy enough to be villains, Tom's not. I mean, Ariana is like a bitch at this point, but yeah, Ariana has just turned sour as Kristen later said, I think at this point, they're actually just flat out frustrated. They're just like, you know, they see people becoming friends with crazy Kristen again. They see people turning their words against them. Sheena texting Ariana's mom, they're probably just like utterly frustrated at this point. Yeah. I don't think they have it in game. I think they just, you know, poor Tom, like he can't understand what's going on. He's like, why, why are they doing all this stuff to us? I love Ariana, drole. I love a drole bitch. She's like, no, whoa, whoa, take it down. Nobody said that. What actually happened is that they were trying to make Tom feel better. And Jack started saying that he's the best and no one's better than him. And he's the coach of the man. And he is like the biggest man of the group. And she's like, wow, I heard that Josh was upset. I was like, OK, Sheena, OK, you win. Sheena the lawyer. Well, I'm not transled because like what Jack told me. OK, you're automatically going to lose in every fucking case. If that's your only defense, it's what Jack's told me. And your dementia. Yeah. Totally. Well, like, the keys weren't there, but then we like Jack said he shook a bookcase. And they fell out of his girlfriend's new implants that he bought. Did you know that he bought those with partially his own money and also money borrowed from Ken? I heard the three is a hot back up in the back barn. What's an auto trader? Does that mean that you betrayed cars? I don't get it. Yes. Those cars are mad because Tom won't stop talking about his band. So they traded each other. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm telling you, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hit anyway. Like, who does that? Abjukin, abjunction, function, abjunction of functions. Oh my gosh, see now, just sit down, lady, abjunction, function, galting. Okay, so, so then over at some music studio DJ James Kennedy is producing a CD with Max, the pump CD and DJ James, it's a CD because apparently a lot of the music that he makes just sounds really good in pump restaurant. So, in other words, it's a Buddha bar mix from 20 years ago. Great job, buddy. Exactly. He's like, it's pretty much my greatest accomplishment I've done in my life yet. Well, considering your other great accomplishment was getting bred to a table in less than five minutes. Yeah, I was gonna say, I was gonna say this is just, it's the greatest accomplishment second to spinning on Kristen's door. Take a good look, you basic bitch record industry, this is a great accomplishment. I'm the white fucking Kanye West. Oh, that was amazing. I don't mean to sound conceited, you basic bitch, but I am the white Kanye West. And I was like, Kanye West is conceited, you basic bitch, so if you're gonna sound like the new Kanye West, you're gonna need to stop apologizing for sounding conceited stupid. And last time I checked, Kanye West wasn't turning out CD's full of like Argentinian infused restaurant lounge, electro jazz compilations. Oh, give him time. He'll just throw anything he hears on the radio, just talk over it. Yeah. So anyway, Jesus loves me, it's my favorite. I was thinking about that after the last show, he's just playing, Jesus loves me. I'll just play Jesus loves me, talk over that. So then he goes into this weird thing, oh, Lisa comes by to be supportive. She's like, hello, it's me, you know, this studio could use a gigantic pot that sits in half the door, so it's harder to get inside. So they start talking about a bunch of stuff Lisa doesn't care about like relationships and stuff. And she's like, are you going to do your song with la la? Like, no, I don't think I'm going to put on the CD, you know, the pump CD has to be the best stuff ever. I want a song with you being nice to la la in it over and over. I want to sample the entire stuff being nice to la la, and then you can put that on an African drum beat. Do you understand, darling? Well, la la is a stupid thing to say, so I don't know how I could be nice to her. On a CD. Oh, that'll never be the title of a song, darling. It's the dumbest title of a song I've ever heard. Stupid thing to say. So then we go over to... Oh, she also says... No, you have to cut Kristen off because he's like, Lisa, I'm sorry for being disrespectful because you're the most amazing grandmother I've never had. And I would also like to say I miss Kristen and Lisa's like, darling, I've told you Kristen is pain. Cut her off, darling, just like your alcoholism. Kristen alcoholism, same plane, shoot them both down, watch them crash in the seat, darling. All right, they're over. Both of them. Like Jesus. Way to compare Kristen to alcoholism. I know, seriously. Even though she is the walking embodiment of it, but still. Yeah. Well, I think what is so mean about comparing Kristen to alcoholism is that it really overlooks all the other terrible things that she could be compared to. It's just not alcohol. It's drug abuse, eating disorders, pimples on your ass. I know, yeah. It's just terrible things in general. Possessness. It's like, darling, it's like chlamydia. You don't just get chlamydia and then go back to it. All right, you cut it off. So anyway, speaking of removing things, Tom Sandoval is getting his butt tattoo removed and... It's our bro story, man. Why would you get your tattoo removed, man? It's like, it's our cat story, man. It's our bro story. It was that moment that we both got it on our butts, man. Yeah. So then... Yeah. Tom Schwartz is very sad about this. And then Tom's talking about her Ariana told him that Jax is telling everyone that Tom was mad that he couldn't talk about his band. This is exactly... This is classic band member rules. I mean, the gossip is now so far removed from the original source. Yeah. I mean, we're talking about clowns and first bills. Everybody's thinking you're talking about your band. Are you fucking kidding me, Kristen? Oh! He was getting so mad and it's hilarious. He's with his basic lover at this point. It's like the closest person he's with, his best friend. He's bent over a table and screaming because of the ass pain. Just this show is too adorable. It is amazing. He's zapped off the lady doctor, zaps off his tattoo and he's squeezing these like blue balls. Yeah. Do you want to squeeze these blue balls? Yeah, Tom. Come over here. I'm going to squeeze your blue balls, bro. My favorite part though is the very end of the scene when like the doctor leaves and then Tom Schwartz goes, "Dude, you did it." And Tom tend to fall. Just goes, "Yeah." And then the scene ended. Another accomplishment. Then we have some public domain music where this girl is going, "Crazy, come on, come on." And then it comes to Kristen. I was like, "Oh, okay. I see what you did there." "Crazy." And Kristen's like, "Whoa, look, look, we're sitting on the couch like ugh, look, let's drink on the couch, like story them out, and then Stassi, seriously, seriously, Stassi." I'm so good, it's squatting. It's like a talent, like I'm so good at squatting, like it was on a video one time squatting, but Lisa paid somebody to keep it off the internet. What a bitch. That was my resume. So Kristen is, now I have zero experience except for Kristen's house. Thanks Kristen. We got Brad. We got Brad. And Kristen is very stressed during this scene. I'm stressed about comedy because she's like, "Typically, I've done more dramatic roles." I'm like, "Settle down, Meryl Streep." I'm talking about your dramatic roles. "Look, listen to my German accent. Would you like a bread and butter, ugh, okay, listen to my French accent. Would you like some bread and butter, ugh, get it?" She's like, "Listen to my French. French. French. Hey, listen to my Spanish chili and sea bass." It's going to be really hard for me to do something comedic since my last role was out of Africa 3, direct to DVD. You can find it at Blockbuster. I was the one who was waiting on the other side of Africa, like banging on the fence. I was like, "Let me back into Africa. You may have seen me as rental car operator #3 in as good as it gets, but like I really want to flex into comedy now." I was in cars, ugh, proved me wrong. I was the Volvo. I was in, I was in spotlight, okay, it's track-diving, but still I'm in it, I'm in it right now. Look, I was a tree in the Revenant. So you see, this is a big short, that's Tom, back to my movie career, seriously. I was in this, I was in this small tall. I was in this thing called room, I'm in it right now. I played the wardrobe. I played the girl who's letting her best friend sleep in her couch. I was also in the line, the witch in the wardrobe. I am like really good at wardrobes. So, this is so sad. She is talking about going into comedy, which is fucking hilarious, and then they show her friend, who's Rachel I think is her name, who is a comic, and you know, I hate, I don't even like being up on Rachel because she's not a real cast, and I feel like she doesn't deserve scorn like the people who are regulars for some reason. She sounds like an innocent standard guy. That said, they showed a clip of her comedy, and she's like, "Well, I was worried someone was robbing me, so I put a nanny cam in my house, and then now I just have like hours of my boyfriend beating off." Like, "Oh, that's a good one." No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Give me the hook, right? Wait, my boyfriend will beat off to it. Never mind. Seriously, this is exactly the sort of comedy I want to be doing. Seriously, seriously, like, I totally, that totally resonates with me. Do you have to copy that video? Show time at the Apollo. You go to the Apollo. And she's like, "By the way, Stossie, like, I saw Katie last night, and she totally looked like shit, and just saying." And Stossie's like, "Look, I don't even know what to do about her, okay? So like, give me advice." Oh, the end of a scene. And then we go to the next two boobs, Jax, Britt, and her new pair, preparing for Britt needs traumatic surgery of group on tit insertion. So the recurring theme with Jax, this episode, was faux introspection. He's like, "I'm just thinking about so many things, like, you get interested in this and that, on and on. It's like, I feel like I'm spiral, I'm like, whatever." You're just saying things because you're about, he's gearing himself, he's positioning himself, because he's going to let down Brittney in some way. This is classic Jax behavior, like, this faux introspection to make his flaws seem okay. You know? I'm just a loser, you can't be with me, babe, you deserve more like I got you tits. Yeah. I already hear that. It's going to die. So then the doctor comes in, and he's like, "So what sort of boobs do you want?" She's like, "I'd like a full say," and Jax is like, "Although, how about these instead?" And the doctor says, "Well, those are Ds," and Jax is like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll do that." She's like, "Yeah, that's what I want. I'm paying for it, so I have a say too, you know, like, I'm buying these." She's like, "How kind, whatever, whatever you all put in means good." Well, we all know D is smaller than C, because it comes sooner in the alphabet. Well, that girl with the D cup is getting Peter to marry her, so maybe Ds will work. I mean, those are the batteries you put in flashlights. Am I right? They're going to last even longer. I want energizer titties, okay, because this relationship is going to be that bunny that never stops. Jax is disgusting as a human being. Britain is an idiot. I think she's already got Cs, so I don't know what she's doing. If she's just like, it's like putting new siding on your house that wasn't even infested with termites the first place. Listen, I just want to get some Ds, because that was my favorite grade I got in my papers. It's the first time my daddy didn't spank me when he got their report card in the mail. Britney is gross, I mean, but she's dumb. I get it. She's at least working for those tits, okay? She's fucking Jax. That takes a lot, you know, so I have my hand off to her. You know, look, she was going to get boobs anyway, at least she gets them for food. But they're not free. Jax is getting them from some doctorate at a discount when he owes everybody else money. Those are going to be repoed boobs. They are going to cut those back out of her when Jax doesn't pay the bills. That's true, too. So speaking of medical emergency, I have to say one thing before we go. All the shit we're giving Jax maybe he is feeling introspective because there's less self-hatred because the puffiness in his facelift has gone down. Jax in those testimonial or his talking heads, wow, he looked just stunningly gorgeous. The fillers, the Botox, the punches in the nose, the fifth nose, whatever he's on. I don't know what the hell happened. Maybe it was a cleaglight in his face. I don't know whatever it was. He just looked beautiful and I just have to say that that's all the man lives for is for someone to say that. I still thought there was some puff. I still thought there was some puff. I still thought there was puff. But I'm, you know, even Jax when he was like puppy, I mean, he's a little bit. Oh, but he just doesn't look like the Hulk. You know, like when the Hulk is between changing from Edward Norton into the Hulk and he's like in that weird bizarre plastic face, that's what he's been looking like all season. But this season, I mean, is, he looks hideous this whole, he looks terrible. But this one talking head, he just looks so beautiful and his skin is so smooth. I mean, just stop there. Oh, I thought that, I know what you're talking about. We just had the little mustache and I was not a huge fan of that look. Well, the look. I just, I just me the face. No, no, no. I meant, I felt meaning everything. All right, Jax, we don't agree on your face. Change it again. We'll try again. We'll see. Here's something we can agree on. Here's something we can agree on is that Sheena is a goddamn survivor. Okay, she, she has been through tough times and the latest setback is that my cat scratched me on the neck. Ah, you want to know this, but you were drunk. The only thing Sheena hasn't common with a survivor is she swallowed a lot of really gross stuff for money. I can't believe this cat would scratch me on the neck when I just fed it three days in a row. This can't. Doesn't this count most with Lisa Famer-pop has done for him? So Sheena and Sheena have a conversation, one of the, one of the many conversations where Shea is like, I hate it when you tell me not to drink and she's like, well, I hate because you drink too much and I don't want to mother you, but I have to mother you because you drink too much goes, well, I drink too much because you mother me yada yada yada. You're the only one who says anything to me about it. Like you're the only one. Yeah, she, because she's the one who has to work to pay your bills. She's the one who married you and the friends who are drunk next to you, of course, are not going to call you an alcoholic because they won't have someone to drink with next week. You stupid fuck. And then she goes on this whole, Oh, well, I just bought a Sega Genesis and I'm 30 years old. And that's who I am. And that's who I'm always going to be. That's sad, dude. That's very sad. That's the second part, but the fact that you're like jobless, doing nothing, you're an addict, you're at the lowest point of your life and people are just going to accept that. No, they're not, bitch. You're going to be there alone with your fat ass doing nothing and broke. So how fun with that. And he's saying that one of the reasons why he drinks is because he feels like he constantly has to live up to her standards because standards because, you know, he doesn't have any money and she always makes them feel bad about it. She's like, I don't know. He's like, but the way you, but the way you say it, it makes me feel that way. Oh, yeah. Everyone else's fault. You're a drunk. Okay. You don't have a job because you don't have a job. You don't have money because you don't have a job. Yeah. Get the hell out of here. You are so lucky. This girl got her heart broken by a rich, good looking person because she went for the opposite. Yeah. And then of course she doesn't make anything better because well obviously I didn't marry you for the money. My mom always said marry for the money then for the love, but I married you for the love. I mean, not because you're successful because you're not well, it's true. It's true. But it's like also like way to like she's on the one hand saying she's like, I don't talk about how much money you don't make. And then she's like, by the way, you definitely don't have money. Not helping, not helping to get his head right about this situation. Yeah. Well, his head is. All right. No one can do that by himself. I'm so sick. They have a big ring. Like it's someone else's fault for his idiocy. Oh, yeah. God damn job, dude. Work at the fucking fat sals. Okay. You can become a banker overnight, but do something you've been sitting there this whole season doing nothing but getting drunk and using her money to buy a Sega Genesis. Yeah. I mean, yeah, it's bad and they're big dream. Their big life goal is to move back to a Caesar and have kids where then he'll become a gym teacher. Yeah. Now, you know, just respect to being a gym teacher that's totally a perfectly awesome job. But like, it's like, dude, like, he's basically like, well, I'm not going to do anything until we move back there. And I got to become a gym teacher. It's like, you could do something else in the meantime. Yeah. I'm not going to do something when we go back to a zoo zone and then I'll go to the high school. Please. How many times did you actually show up at that high school when you were in it? Yeah. Yeah. I'm not buying that. And then so what she's supposed to give up everything. I mean, look at all. She's cut going for her. You know, it's a really great way to bolster your resume as you use a high school is appearing on a national TV show, getting drunk out of control every single week and using drugs. And denying you're an alcoholic because you just get drunk on beer now instead of beer, cocaine, and five shots of tequila. Yeah. Lord. I can't wait until we move back to a zoo zone. We got a boy who will come here all every weekend. You know, I know it's really hard for you when we have to drive over the hill to get to the claim jumper. So it'll be easier back in a zoo zone because it's like right on our block. That's still a shame. I feel like once we're able to go to Cudoba Grill on a regular basis, everything will be fixed. It'll be so amazing when I don't have to call you a loser every morning. I can't wait. Once he gets a good meal from sea plantation, I think we'll be on the path to success. That's all started when Tom made him not egg white thing. Broccoli rude, say Tom's gonna pay. So, uh, speak of Tom, Tom and Ariana, like they're in their apartment and Jack's comes over and they're, guess what? They're getting rid of yet another old couch. How many couches are on this show? I mean, they're just constantly in a state of moving couches out. And what kind of birth control do these couches use that they don't have any STDs or babies? I know. It's like, oh my God, nothing but couches. It's like covered in like stained stopper calm. It's like just a big splud stained stopper covering because those couches, they all look fairly decent for being, for having gone through what they've gone through. Yeah. Scotch guard, darling. I have to say also out, they showed the exterior of the apartment. And I think they're on the second floor, but it's like, of course, this is a cast member of Vanderpump Rules. They've got 20 gigantic pots on the very ledge of their balcony that are bound to just fall down and kill somebody on the sidewalk any moment. I don't know why I had to point that out, but it's just a fucking, that's how these people think, you know? Yeah. So anyway, after Tom and Jack's moved the catch out of the way, then they started talking about the band, then it's like, I can't believe telling people that I'm on talk about the band. And then Jack's like, that's what happened. I heard of my own fucking years. And then Jack doesn't even have a full ear anymore. Isn't part of his ear like in his cheek now or something like that? As in his ass. He's like, I just sat on my ear and I know it's working, all right? Jack's also, when they were removing this couch, took the cushions off and took the change out of the couch and put it in his pocket. He's like, yeah, well, I'm sure most of this change is stuff I took from, you know, sir, I know that no one else carries around. Change. So I'll take it. Of course you fuck the school of the change. So they once he ends with, and poor Tom Sandoval gets pushed that point again where he's like, cry yelling. He's like, I'm a fucking badass friend, all my fucking friends, Jack's. Yeah, Jack's. I do everything from my friends, Jack's, okay? And then you and Shina, you're like all trying to make me look like a bad guy, like I'm this asshole and I'm not an asshole, okay, Christina, okay? And in Jack's head, it was like, he's trying to figure out all the things he's going to buy with the change in his pocket. Yeah. He's just seeing breast implants dancing, like pink elephants. He's like, maybe we can upgrade to the triple Ds now. Yeah. So he, Jack's is saying Tom has always been cool, but now he's with Ariana and Ariana's influencing to be an asshole, really, because that's what you said about Kristen. Kristen's influencing him to be an asshole. You know what? Tom will try and make it work with anybody, even Kristen, and that's probably a fault of his. That he'll just try and make it work no matter what with anybody, but it'll probably lead to him being a fairly decent husband when he's not out cheating because you know he is. So well, if Jack's had any brain in his body, in his, in his head, he would realize that Ariana is not making him sour. Ariana is making him into a connoisseur of sketch comedy, okay? So Jack just needs to be quiet. Ariana, as someone who has studied sketch comedy for 10 years, can't deal with her own relationship. Okay. Thank you very much, person who just bought, who just got tits donated for his hooter waitress girlfriend. Yeah. So how about you go to UCB for 10 years, Jack, and then you can talk about who does what to what relationship? Oh, God. I don't even think it's UCB, Dargan. I think it's like the ha ha. Who knows what it is. It's probably the DMV. They go through, they go, they go from talking about sketch comedy to stand up comedy. Those are two different things. I'm not sure what we're talking about, because Kristen is talking about stand up, but then now they're talking about sketch. It's all over the place. So then over at sir, oh, lala, lala, now I want to be nice to lala, but she, this woman needs a stylist. This poor girl. Okay. She looked like a day player from silk stockings in 1996. Oh, I loved that show. Maybe that's why I liked it. I was like, love, I love your hair, lala, she looked, she made herself look so old. I mean, she had this like, her hair is all, I don't know, it's everything to me. I was like, this is too much, too much, too much look for us. Oh, hey, who's that? It's lala. It started laughing at that, she said, it's lala. Do I sound different? Do I sound more educated? Because I'm reading books now. I've taken up reading books, I've taken up reading books. Yeah, I love it. I'm reading one called the fountain head. It's about architecture and architects, but I am Ryan, of course, lala will get through the fountain head thinking it was about an architect. God bless her heart, donning. She's like, when do they go down on each other in the fountain? Look, this is the first book I've read with a man who has a job in it. So like, I'm really excited about the future of people. Like, is that a normal thing among men or? It's really making me appreciate socialism. That's what it's about, right? She will never get that. That's hilarious. She's just going to be like, well, it's an architect, who likes sharing. It's about, wait, so you say it's about capitalism? Well, that's weird because not, like, I didn't see a lot of capital letters in it. So maybe you should rethink that. Yeah, like only the beginning of every sentence had a capital letter. So like, I don't know, fall your own message book, books are stupid now, I hate books. Oh, I love to see lala's book club. She is so cute. Oh my God. What would be in Lala's book club? Their eyes were watching God. So like, I tried reading a book, but then things, every time I turned a page, all these, like, people would pop out of it and they almost hit me in the face. And I was like, what the hell kind of book punches its readers? It's like a pop-up book, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. Oh, is this like a restaurant that like pops up? Oh my God, I love pop-ups. I went to this great pop-up. It was basically had Paddington Bear in it, and then you open it up and Paddington Bear just like pops up and then makes dinner for you, except, like, you make the dinner. I just got Harry Potter, it's so heavy. And it's like a pot, you know, because pots are heavy. And you know what potters do? They pop plants, but this one's really hairy, but I think he finds love anyway. I cannot wait to read it. Never, never, never is going to happen, darling. I just picked up this book called Brothers Commissov, and I'm really excited about it because I love brothers. So like, I can't wait, looks like it'll be an easy read. I hope their phone numbers at the end. I'm going to read the Metamorphosis, because I feel like I'm going to a Metamorphosis, and I feel like this book is really going to help me see that. I feel like these words are just too big for a small one. Yeah, I'm sorry. Like the brother car. I'm sorry. Yeah, she's going to be like, "No, no." What? Brothers? I read book Ishmael. It was like a conversation with a gorilla. Like, who does that? Who does that? I'm reading a book by a king, okay? It's really scary. It's about this car who comes to life and kills people, and I'm like, "Oh my God, kings have so many weird things happen to them. I'm so glad we don't leave an ink in Britain's." I'm going to read Heart of Darkness, because I'm really excited to see what a book about Surah's. Mm-hmm. Heart of Darkness. Oh, Lawler. I'm so glad she found reading. It's going to change the life. May I suggest Sydney Sheldon, because those are all about beautiful sluts who end up becoming smart and screw over all the guys who made them feel like shit for all their lives. Lawler, take a hint, it's not even a hint, it's an actual suggestion. If anybody out there knows Lawler, Sydney Sheldon, it will change your life. Look at what it did for Nicolette Sheridan. Yeah, good for you, Lawler. Even mentioning a book on this show, which deserves a trophy. Well, yes ma'am, I love it. So anyway, so Lawler and Peter are talking, and the big news is that James got on to a fight with Richardson. I'm a pump. Listen to ya, Pitsitsan, I am James. I am the producer of the pump CD, I pour waters in glasses. What do you do? Nothing. Who knows your name? Nowhere. You are nothing. You are the ground I walk on. Get on the ground Richardson, you basic bitch. You have a last number, first name, you basic bitch. So then Lisa Vanderpump, I believe, comes in and they're just like, oh, I heard about that. Stupid, stupid boy. Mm-hmm. Stupid boy. Oh, and Kristin, the fight was because Kristin came in when James was working and James was wasted and Kristin was wasted and so they both started screaming at each other in the middle of the restaurant and Richardson was like, oh, guys, you're in the middle of the restaurant. Could you keep it down? And he was like, listen, yeah, Pitsitsan. I'm the pump. Pitsitsan. I'm the pump. Say day. Oh, basic bitch. Would you like to wipe down the couches? Oh, say it again. I didn't hear you. I said, your name should be Bidgetson as a basic Bidgetson. You are a basic Bidgetson, Richardson, and my god, that's a song, isn't it? You see, it never stops flowing from my head, Richardson. I am the white, freaking Kanye West, Richardson, and you are just the black me. You're the black wannabe me, Richardson. Richardson Gorge, and I love that, Lisa's like, Richardson is my right-hand man. No one messes with the Richardson. I actually know Richardson, and he's actually very, I don't know him very well at all, but he's a perfectly lovely guy. And it's sort of funny seeing him get dragged into this mess because he actually works. Yeah, he does. Exactly. He's like there to work. He's like, oh, please, don't make me talk about this. You will, Richardson, you will talk about it. Well, on the doll, did James insult you? I touched everywhere in the doll. Tell this cabbage patcher what James said to you. You are a basic bitch. Oh, this cabbage, I've never seen that doll cry. Look at it. Look at what you did to my cabbage patch, doll. Wanda, Willa James. All right, Richardson, now when you get serious, ooh, sir, ladal, eske, James, to shame. He's like, oh, Valacarsion, shall I fall for so long? Stop speaking your secret language around me. That's not fair. I thought, oh, Richardson, oh, shall I fall for so long, Richardson, do you know how much I've done for him, Richardson? He's like, oh, yes, these are all so, so, so, so, as secret, this is not fair. But anyway, so we then go to Jax. So Jax has, so Brittany got her boobs done, and now Jax is taking care of her. And you know, he's, I think, oh, I think Tom came up with, Tom and Katie came over to visit to say hi. And Jax is, they're talking about how her boobs are sworn and Jax is like, yeah, can't wait to put my face in them. I don't know, it's just so, like, he's such a, so disgusting. So disgusting. He already put his face all over him before they were put in in the doctor's office. He's putting his face all over those implants, like, someone's gonna have Jax's waxy ass implant, you know, imprint on their implant. Yeah. Jax imprint on implant. Tom twist stop. Um, also, he's like, this is gross, like, I guess I'm gonna have to help her pee, like poop, poop, and then she's sitting on the toilet. I'm like, you started shitting in front of her, like, day one. So I think you guys are past it. If she has to sit there and watch you shit every day, you can do it with her too. Okay. It's called fair. Exactly. Exactly. Turn about his fair play, darling. And then they suggest that Katie get boobs too to make Tom happier. These guys, so classy, she's like, don't even think about it. I know. Exactly. Why would I do something that makes him want to fuck me more? So speaking of Katie, then Katie and Tom, they're having, like, they're gonna do their engagement photos in the beach and then they have, like, a beach party afterwards. They go and Katie wants to do a sand lot inspired photo shoot. I don't understand that for an engagement party. Like, I don't understand, like, I'm not, I'm not party photos. Like, the photos were all, like, Tom writhing around in the ocean and Katie, like, kissing him and I'm like, this is a terrible idea for engagement photos. Like, what about, like, being sweet? That photo of her giving him mouth to mouth while he's drowning on the beach. I was like, there is no more fitting of a picture that you two could have taken. This will represent the rest of your life. He's just a flailing idiot and you continue to save him even though he keeps drowning himself. Yeah. You know, you're right. Never mind. It's a totally appropriate engagement photo. But the sand lot. It's a kids movie. Good. Katie. God bless your little heart. God bless you, Katie. Meanwhile, so back over at pump, Lisa Richardson and James are having their confrontation as we already started to talk about. And you know that Lisa is serious because she's wearing a pink tie. She's like, all right, I've got my firing accessory on. Let's do this. Listen, Richardson, I know exactly what James is going to do. He's going to come on here and say he's sorry, and then he's going to cry, and then he's going to solve, then he's going to mention his mother, and then he's going to mention Kristen in some way, and then he's going to cry some more, and then he's going to try and make you hug him. And Richardson's like, I've never ever seen this side of James, so bring it on. Yeah. I'm so sure enough. And this is like, well, it was because Kristin was here, and I was trying to work, and then Kristin came in, and what am I supposed to do? Kristin showed up. Kristin. And apparently he was texting her that too, like non-stop, he's like, I am so sorry, but Kristin showed up. Kristin showed up. Mmm. So then James, ultimately he said to Richardson, you're not talented, you're nothing, you're beneath me. I'm above you. I'm James Kennedy. God. Mmm. This was so good, and Lisa's like, what is it with you and Kristin? You're like a magnet, you're like idiot magnet, and anything terrible, it just keeps coming and washing over my restaurant because of you. Yeah, I will not have it, you need to... And then he starts crying, which is exact, because she's like, you can't be here, and he starts crying. He's like, Lisa, what could I do then, Lisa? Please, Lisa. What about the album? And she goes, well, it's such a miniscule part of this entire, if miniscule to you maybe, it's my entire life. Well, what I'm trying to say, well maybe let me talk then, that's exactly what I'm talking about you, little asshole. Get out. I know. He literally says, you know, because she's saying how, you say, I swear, I'm going to be erratic anymore without alcohol in my system, I'll be good, I'll be good, Lisa. I had a revelation last night that, you know, if I don't drink, I won't be erratic, I had a revelation. And she's like a revelation that came at my expense, and then he goes, can I finish what I'm saying? Oh, no. Darling, revelation is the book in the Bible where we find out Tamara Pani is really Satan. Yeah. How would you bring that up today? But of course, Lisa, you know, she can't, as much as she wants to say that she won't be fooled by the crime. She's like, I think we need to have a permanent departure, departure, like you, she's basically, you're fired. Anyway. All right. You're hired again. You're going to be a buzzer. You're a bit buzz boy. And she's like, what do you want me to do during the week now? I have nothing to do. Or James, or James. Nothing to do. Yeah. And, you know, pick up things with words written in them or whatever, darling, but Lisa did my favorite two things in here. One is her new thing where she's trying to be the sensitive Lisa, which she just did in the episode of Beverly Hills with Eileen. She's like, Oh, I understand James. I understand that you're upset. And I understand that you're sad, so let us just be a lesson to you, darling. Now you're just a buzz boy. And every time you pass an empty glass, I want you to look at it and just tell yourself that glass is full. All right. Like turns him into the worst buzz boy ever. I never want to give him too positive of an attitude, darling. I also just love this notion that that James has been like, like knocked down off the mountain as it's like, as if he had come so far, he had risen to such heights from being a buzz boy. He went from being a bus boy to a bus boy slash DJ. Okay. So just come down. Who will self see these in front of the pizza oven, Lisa? I don't care. And Richardson just sitting there laughing his ass off was hilarious. He just looked like he was watching it on the TV screen. His mouth was huge and smiley. It's like, yeah, it's amazing. Thank you so much for this. This is the only break I've ever taken since I started working here. So fun. Actually, which is like, while you guys weren't looking, I've actually waited on five tables back now. It's like, okay, yeah, the whole time is like, no, I actually, I actually just took my lunch. I finished doing the books and redesign the porn shop into a pump add on. So anything else refill the dirt and all the giant planters. So darling, this is why you're too good for television. See him. So then over at the beach, everyone's beach blanket bingo is going on. So talking about Kristen and someone mentions the fact that Kristen did a comedy show the night before. And I love Tom's response. I'm like, wait. So Kristen did a comedy show like it just baffles him to the nth degree because I mean, it baffled all of us. Yeah. And Kristen was doing comedy. I think we all were like, huh? It's like when the theory of evolution was introduced into the world. Everyone. What? What? How could that happen? People in Kansas still refuse to believe that Kristen's doing comedy. It's like, well, you can do whatever you want, but we're not teaching Kristen comedy to our children. She's like, okay, my setup is my joke is, oh, get it. So here's the thing, okay. It's really laughable, not no pun intended. It's really laughable that Kristen is doing comedy. Okay. And that can just stand on its own. But then Ariana has to go make us sort of side with Kristen because Ariana is like, I mean, if you're going to do sketch comedy, shouldn't you take a class or something? It's like, I mean, Kristen is a comedy, but she is not funny. Like, she is funny, like to watch because she's pathetic, but she's not funny, haha. Okay. And it counts very seriously because it offends me when people just try and do it. I mean, I've been in comedy for 10 years. Is there anything more pretentious than saying, I take sketch comedy very seriously, okay. Lala's reading the fountainhead, okay. It's like sketch comedy being serious. No. Yeah. Now that you need to watch a lot more because that shit's funny. Oh, she's saying, Kristen's a joke, but she doesn't make jokes. Okay. Where's yours? Have you ever made one? If anyone's going to be an expert on sketch, it's going to be Kristen. No kidding. Because that's one sketchy bitch. She's got it in her soul. Yeah. I take comedy, sketch comedy very seriously. That was so good. And then she starts dissing the other people because Katie's like, look, I get it like you're hateful now and hate everybody in the world sucks because now you're a teenager and like, as your mom, I get it, but like, you didn't even see the comedy show and Ariana's like, so she tried to be me. Oh, she's d-- she's an ass. And Katie was telling your look, your attitude is off the charts. I've been trying to be sensitive so far and Ariana goes, well, I've been pretending to have fun around you guys for a long time now. So... And then of course she knows like, yeah, she knows like, well, well, so much for me. Try to be your friend. And I took her to a lingerie store. I'm sorry, like, I wouldn't have just gone to the lingerie store with Katie and like, we could have shared the third sampang me with like a paper store ourselves. Like, we wasted my run extra on Ariana. I can't believe she would pretend to be my friend when I was trying to pretend to be her friend. Oh my God, I should do sketch comedy. Now that would be good. See, there's just like, different characters in life. Like what I can do. Like what I can do. Like what I can do. Like at me. This is my president, Obama. I'm the president. Okay. Now, okay. Here's my next one. I'm glad we're pruning. Don't you like what I can't believe everyone's laughing at my political humor. And I'm gonna leave it's not butter. Got it. Hmm. Yes. And... Oh, so James shows up. Oh, Bala said earlier in the scene because Lala showed up and I have to, Lala is trying, you know, God bless her heart. These bit, these girls are nothing but bitches to her and she keeps trying. She showed up with a bikini with a ruffle over the boob. I mean, if that doesn't say making an effort to make friends with the old crows in the back. Yeah. Well, you know, she's been inspired by Fountainhead. She's just going to, she's, she's taking a capitalistic approach to this, which is that she's going to earn her way into the group. And she's like, I think this is what an architect would wear. She says, I don't know what it is with the guys that serve, but like, it seems like they have to be in a committed relationship with somebody so they can go cheat on them. I'm like, uh, hi, welcome to Los Angeles. Did you just arrive? I'm just learning so much from Anne Rand, but I kept wondering one of the vampires gonna show up. That's what they do with literature now. They're like pride and prejudice with zombies. True. So anyway, James shows up with the girl and Lala pretty much has their correct read on. She's like, well, James brings the girl because he knows it's going to make me jealous. And he's going to hope that I kiss him because I'm jealous and then he's going to use that to make Kristen jealous when, when Kristen back. I was like, that's true. And the sad part is that that's oddly almost Shakespearean, every Shakespearean comedy. Oh my God. This show is more literate than I ever expected. Lala is actually smarter than I guess anybody gives her credit for including Lala's. I mean, the girl may not read books, but she can still, she's pretty intelligent when it comes to the emotional stuff. And by the way, I didn't watch it, but she was on Watch What Happens last night. So you know, I mean, Andy Andy Andy Andy of course, Andy Cohen, of course, is very smart. And he knows like as much as she was a jackass last time, he's like, bring her back on. Just not with James, you know, yeah, exactly. I like when she said, Oh, James, there he is. I kissed me with jobs, OK, but Christmas will fuck him. So true and true, true and then James is on his apology tour. He's like, look, I want everyone to know I was fired from sir. It's because I did stupid things. It's not because Kristen came in and baited me and acted like a drunk idiot. All right, I did it to myself and I'm sorry. And that's it. I feel like an idiot. That's it. And then he starts making out with this dumb girl no one's ever seen and is kissing his shoulders like that don't taste like bone. And just trying to get on TV. And then Kristen's like, of course, James is here with some new girl because now we're all supposed to be challenged and then like whatever. Go on Craigslist and get your local high school girl. Yeah. And then Jax, of course, Jax does his favorite thing in the world, which is gossip. So he goes and he tells Kristen because Kristen's there with Rachel, the comedian. And and he's like, he tells Kristin what Ariana said about the sketch comedy and how she's a snobbery. So this really this this pisses off Kristen. So she marches right off to Ariana and they have a sketch comedy pissing match. And she's like, well, it is a good comedy. She's like, I killed the game last night and I wrote one of the sketches. I killed the game. I can't believe this is happening. And yet at the same time, this is so L.A. right now. This fight is so incredibly Los Angeles. I totally killed the game. That was hilarious. And then when she was saying it, she's like in therapy, I've learned not to be so confrontational, but getting an Ariana's face right now will be therapeutic. So I'm doing it, OK? Yeah. Exactly. And then Ariana is like, well, I don't think that Rachel's jokes are very original and I don't think they're like very funny. And I just I take that sketch comedy very seriously. And then and then Kristen's like, this is why no one likes you because you're sour. I'm friends with every fucking person here. Yeah. And Tom's like, yeah. Because Tom goes, what's your score on Vince lately, Kristen? She's like, yeah, actually I'm friends with everyone here, OK? And he's like, yeah, but because you have to go like on an apology to her because you're a crazy bitch. She's like, yeah, well, at least I own it, OK? I mean, oh, man. And then Kristen actually walks away. She goes, you're a bit, which I assuming was come fitness or Oh, sorry, cut fitness. And I didn't do that on purpose this way. You're your time. You know, vanapam rules. Damn it. So you know, what's funny is that Kristen's from Dolph, but Rachel stayed back. And I wonder what the conversation was that Rachel was. She's just like, I'm so sorry, guys. My jokes aren't good. I know. I'm sorry. I should never brought her into the comedy world. It's terrible. Well, hopefully because she had that pouty look on her face, so I'm hoping she just sat there and made Ariana uncomfortable and told Ariana said she was fucking sorry. How rude. Yeah. Yeah. I was just assuming she was kind of wait for an apology because I think Ariana is really the thing that's really bringing out her cut fitness is Kristen. She cannot handle that Kristen is still allowed to be on the show when she took her man and her job and she's like, wait, I didn't take her TV job too. What the hell? Like this isn't winning if she's still on TV. Sorry, bitch. Mm hmm. So now it's sunset. Oh, jacks. And by the way, I just want to say is absolutely beautifully shot. The lighting was wonderful during this scene. Yeah. Thanks, God. Thanks to the lighting. Well done. Seriously. Seriously. He's like, I do it every day. I don't even want to open another sunset because I just can't stand around another sunset whole day. Okay. This sunset's a basic bitch. Now, can I clear your plates? Mm hmm. Where's the moon already? I can't believe the sun would be so beautiful, but it's not even my wedding. Mm hmm. Stop setting the sun is rude. I was on so many things for you, son, and you're sitting on me. I can't believe it. Oh, yeah. I forgot to mention that Lisa said that to James on their meeting. Don't you know all the things Ken and I have done for you? I just have to mention that because she does it every time. So it's sunset and jacks. Does this weird? I'm guessing that he switched to marijuana for the day. I don't know what he's doing, but suddenly he's like feeling things. So he's either coming down from his crystal or he's just drunk. I'm just playing drunk because he starts as well. He's talking to Peter, who looks totally confused. He won't stop talking. He's so frizzy. Yes. Yeah. His mom hair is blowing in the sunset wind and jacks is just motor mouthing, you know, which is, you know, like kind of co-kitty. And then he's suddenly like feeling all these things. So Peter's not buying it. Peter's like, dude, you're losing it on camera right now. And Jack's like, you know, who does that? Like, I went to a white and I stole from a store. Like, there's something wrong with me, you know? Like that's gross. He's like taking seashells from the sea and putting in this pocket. I know. There's some clan that's like, hey, that's my sister. Jack's like, at my age, I shouldn't be getting, I shouldn't be getting rested. I'm like, well, when is a good age for doing that? Am I too old to change? No, you're just on way too many drugs, okay. He is on the verge of doing something terrible. That's what this all means. Because he is set, he's, he's, he's, he's starting to, he's, this is basically his way of, of gathering sympathy, because he's about to do something absolutely terrible. It's like when the sea recedes before tidal wave. Oh, I can't wait. I was wondering what his deal was. I'm glad you pointed that out. I can't wait to see what it is. Because he doesn't care. All this. And this is, well, the thing is this, in some ways, Jack's is incredibly savvy. And I think he's pretty aware of how he is being portrayed in certain ways. And I think he is just trying to, trying to make himself be sympathetic. He's a sociopath. And he's using emotional pleas to people that he knows has emotions to try and make them think that he does for whatever reason. But no one does, Jack. Okay. We all know you don't. It's fine. Be a proud sociopath. It's fine. You know? You were probably born like that. Yeah. Well, but he is ridiculous. Well, I'm sure he's already been cheating. That guy has not been not cheating on anybody ever. He would fuck anything he possibly could. But he did have another moment where he's like, I think that I do all this stuff. Like I'm really mean to people and I push him away because like, I need them to just talk about me. So like if they're not like talking about me, I need to like, I don't know, steal or like cheat or do something, just a little talk about me and Peter's like, yeah, bro. Well, it's not bad when people don't talk about you. I mean, look at me. No one talks about me. And I'm getting married. So works for me. I mean, yeah, I'm on TV five minutes a week, but I've still got like, I make more money than you. And I've got a job. Dude, I'm going to have a wife with these. So and Jack's just stays quiet. And then they cut to Tom on the beach twirling his hair, looking off into space. He's doing things from from Peter's towel. He's stealing Peter's mom hair. Yeah, he's got to get right off of him. Another highly episode, highly entertaining episode of oh man, he's really looking forward to Lala's book report and all sorts of other crazy shenanigans next week. Yeah, it was all good today. All the shows were good. So thanks, Brad. Thanks for ruining lives in the most entertainingly way, or in the most entertaining way possible. I need to stop talking for a while, obviously. So I think it's time to go. You guys, thanks so much for listening to the Watch what Crapins hold calls. You can find us at Watch what Crapins dot com Facebook dot com slash Watch what Crapins or patreon dot com slash Watch what Crapins. If you want to get our bonus episodes, ringtones and extras, I'm about to play you this week's ringtone, which is Ben's version of a James song. You're a stupid thing to say. This is the ringtone version. So if you're a subscriber, come on over and get it. It's posted now. Love you guys. Bye. Bye. If you like Watch what Crapins, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon music before you go. Tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com/survey. I'm Lindsey Graham, host of Wondery Show American Scandal. We bring to life some of the biggest controversies in US history, presidential lies, environmental disasters, corporate fraud. In our latest series, entrepreneur Lou Perlman becomes the mastermind behind two of the biggest pop groups in the world, the Backstreet Boys, and in sync. He also oversees a sprawling business empire that includes a charter jet company, restaurants and real estate, but Perlman's successful facade crumbles after he sued by the boy bands for siphoning millions from them. And soon investigators discover that Perlman is keeping his empire afloat through an even more devious scheme. Follow American Scandal on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Experience all episodes ad-free and be the first to binge the newest seasons only on Wondery Plus. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app, Apple Podcast or Spotify. Start your free trial today.