Audible's best of 2024 picks are here. From memoirs and sci-fi to mysteries and thrillers, Audible's curated list in every category is the best way to hear 2024's best in audio entertainment. Like a stunning new full cast production of George Orwell's 1984. And first of all, Everett's brilliantly subversive James. Audible, there's more to imagine when you listen. I actually am really excited to hear George Orwell's 1984 again, because last time I read that was back in, I don't know, middle school or something like that. And the world has changed so much with technology and everything like that. I feel like now is the perfect time to revisit and listen to it on Audible. Especially when it's told by a full cast like that, like it's a full production. It's going to be like a radio play, you know, that's major. Go to Audible.com/crapins and discover all the years best waiting for you. That's Audible.com/crapins. Listen, weight loss drugs and GLP ones are all anybody's talking about right now. They're everywhere, but it's confusing to figure out how to get them. But it doesn't have to be through hymns and hers. You can get access to a budget friendly weight loss program personalized just for you. Hymns and hers connects you with a medical provider who will work with you to determine your best treatment option. And if prescribed, you get the medication as part of a doctor developed weight loss program complete with ongoing support check-ins, medication adjustments and answers to questions, a hundred percent online at no additional cost. Through hymns and hers, weight loss plans are more affordable starting at $199 per month with a 12 month subscription paid upfront. No hidden fees, no access fees, and no membership fees. Start your free online visit today at forhers.com/crapins. That's F-O-R-H-E-R-S.com/crapins for your personalized weight loss treatment options. For hers.com/crapins, hers weight loss is not available everywhere. Compounded products are not FDA approved or verified for safety, effectiveness, or quality. Prescription required restrictions apply. Hello and welcome to the Watchbook Crapin Podcast. A podcast about all that crap we love to talk about on the old braves. I'm Ronny Karen from Trash Talk TV, and as per use, I'm here with the gorgeous, talented, well-broad, and perfectly quaffed and also knows how to pronounce Chilean sea bass. Ben Mandelker, hello Ben. Hi Ronny. How are you? You know, I'm a little hangry. I'm actually not angry about anything, but I'm just hungry and I think I'm going to get hangry over the course of the show. So I'm just warning the listeners, I'm not going to be hangry at you though Ronny. I'll just be hangry at things. Yeah, don't take it out on me because then if I get stressed, then I get like stress-ungry, stress-gree. What do you call stress-unger? Stress-unger. My traditions, my fetishes have come roaring to the front. No, I was telling Ronny before the show that I didn't have time to get my think-thin-ba or, and I don't have like a, I don't have snacks in my apartment. And so I am like running on empty. Nothing but like one little wedge of frittata that I had for breakfast. So I was telling your bitch in Bethany's on today's show, so we should be hungry and honor a Bethany because there's a hangry bitch in the world that's that one. It's actually a podcast, true podcast prep. I mean, that's why she's always going off and telling people about their brands because she hasn't eaten just as I haven't. So I'm going to be telling everyone about their brands, Bethany, you get ready. You know, that's my favorite. There's hungry brand advice is coming. Hungry boy. Oh, I think they already have it. It's like meatloaf. But it's like hamburger helper or something. Anyway. What is that? Hungry man? Hungry boy. I don't know. Big hungry boy. Come to WatchOutCrapins.com for all our social media links. Go to Facebook.com/WatchOutCrapins to talk crap with us during the week and with each other and post your own links because that shit's hilarious and it's kept flagging a detective like planter on detective links in the Facebook page. Also come to patreon.com/WatchOutCrapins. That's where you can become a premium subscriber. You get all our bonus episodes and you get our ringtones and gift emoticons and ask questions for the mailbag, which is coming up. So that's patreon.com/WatchOutCrapins. We just did a super fun bonus this week about making a murderer on Netflix. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Soul God. Yeah. Soul. Fine. Boy and enlisting Steven. By the way, so excited for all the people who told us that they signed up for patreon till isn't that episode. We love having you on board and we hope you enjoy all the bonus episodes that we've already done and that we're going to be doing going forward. So thanks for taking the plunge. Yeah. You know, it's, you know, it's yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So fun. Yeah. So fun. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Come to patreon.com/WatchOutCrapins and that is it for that. And also we'd like to thank our super premium crazy premium subscriber. Marvin Jay. Thank you for being our premium subscriber Marvin Jay. Thanks Marvin. You know, that's open to all of you. So go on over there. So now Ben Jaminus. We've got a big show today. Let's start it with the Crapins mailbag, shall we? The Crapins mailbag. Sure. I think I don't think we're going to be able to do it without a song. Uh. Crapins, Crapins mailbag. All right. Let me, let's, let's see. While I pull this off, let's see. Um, okay. So the first question is from Teresa Maravich. Oh, Teresa always, Teresa is becoming like the, the queen of the, of the mailbag. She's always good to ask some questions and her questions are always really bizarre, which is great. Cause she asked us, was it last week's show or yes, the last show we did about rock, paper, sister with Macauley and Dobby and Shire? It was the most bizarre question. And we didn't even understand what it meant, but we sort of like felt our way through it. And it was hilarious. Yeah. We had some good times. So we love, we love these wacky questions. So Teresa's first question, um, is if you were charged with a murder, you did not commit which 12 housewives and or other Bravo liberties, including pets, LOL, which you want on your jury. And then she, and then her next thing is, is, is to add on to that. And if you really did kill from the list that Betty Brown posted, how many maximum years would be fair sentencing based on their annoyance to society? Oh, so that's a call back to Tuesday's mailbag. When, um, I think we both agreed, we would kill, uh, Kristen. And then I said, I think you were going to kill Brandi and I was going to kill, or you were going to kill Kim and I was going to kill Brandi. Do you remember? No, I don't think I would kill Kim. Did I kill, I think we killed Brandi and Kristen. I think we agreed to kill Brandi and Kristen, right? Okay. So let's, let's, let's refine this question. If we were charged in the murders of Brandi and Kristen, but we would not do it. We only talked about it on a podcast, but we didn't do it. Which 12 housewives and or other Bravo liberties, including pets. Oh, we have to pick a 12 person jury. Jesus Christ. You don't have to do all 12, but we can, we can, we can just choose some of the ones we'd like. It's a lot of names. I know I can only remember current cast. My brain doesn't work like that. 12, 12 of everybody on Bravo. Holy crap. Do you remember when Andy did that? Like every housewives in history is going to be on watch what happens live. And it was, it looked like an auditorium full of plastic bitches. I will never forget that. That's what this is. I want Danielle's job on the jury. That's my first. Why in the world? First of all, she, she, I feel like would be sympathetic to, to false accusations. Second of all, I think she would keep the jury room in order. You know, anytime it starts to get crazy. You should be like, pay attention, police. So I think Danielle's job would be a really great jury foreman. Okay. My first pick would be the tame gay, the best tame gay of all time. Reza's husband, the guy who likes no underwear on men who are wearing jogging pants. Free-balling. That's what he likes. What's his name? Adam? That's his name. Tame gay. Whatever. That guy would have to be on the jury because he forgives everything. Like, I could literally say, I changed all those bitches to death. And he'd be like, he didn't mean it. I'm still going to make him not guilty. I think then, along those lines, we have to have Sheena, because Sheena also has the memory of a goldfish. So she wouldn't be able to retain all the evidence. You could literally be like, well, there's a dead body with her fingerprints. And then she forgets, she's like, well, I don't know, I don't, I don't remember the evidence. Reasonable down, eh, not guilty. Should be like, well, the first thing we need to discuss in this jury room, is that James has a tiny penis. I'll tell you, it was really guilty. Ariana, I'm being a bitch. Okay. If she has five peers, but no pills, he's not drunk, right? Guilty or not guilty. I don't understand any of this. Okay, so she's good. Well, I think it's to be fair, to be fair, since we killed Krista. I believe we had sex with Sheena, right? And we killed, because the option was, and Mary should I kill? We married Stasi, we slept with Sheena, and we killed Kristin. So I think that Sheena would be like, well, I know he may have murdered her, but you know, she's really nice. He's really nice, and he slept with me, so I think he's not guilty. Okay, I would put, I would put Carlton Geba, or whatever, Gebia, from the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, the Wiccan. Okay, I would put her on, because I know that no matter, even if I walked into court with blood on my hands, she would still blame Kyle. She'd be like, "Heil is guilty." I think I would actually resurrect Kristin from the dead and put her on the jury, because there's just no prosecutor that would be able to go up against Kristin, because she would just, anything. Can Kratz be like, "Well, as you can see, Ronnie Karam has your blood on his hands." And she'd be like, "Seriously? Seriously? Like, I'm really working on myself, so I forgive Ronnie." Seriously, I'm not here for a free drink, okay? Your objection, you are, object yourself. I object you. You objectify me. She'd never let him go. She'd be like, "What do you mean guilty?" She'd be the best one to have as a lawyer, because she'd just keep taking things back to court over and over and over. She'd be like, "It's me again." It's another case, because I found another one of your sweaters on my sock drawer. Did you just spit on exhibit A? Seriously? Who does that? Seriously? I'm just spitting exhibit A, okay? We need a new case. I think you could put Melania on the jury, just so that we could have a hung jury, because she would be such a disaster. Melania Theresa's daughter? Yeah. She'd murder somebody in the jury room, and then it would be a whole other case. We'd just get off for that. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, the jury has been murder-fied, so you're all excused. Okay, let's see. I would have Lisa Vanderpump on my jury for murder, because I'm a broken hoe, and Lisa loves somebody broken. I'd be like, "I have mommy issues, and I eat too much, but all I really need is guidance and a hug from someone who cares." And she'd be like, "Darling, come here. Stay in my little gym room." I would want Lisa to run up, because this way you could be like, "Well, yeah, we killed her, but we did it for the money." And I was like, "Hey, you know what? I did a depends commercial. I get it." Guilty as charged, guilty. You got to do what you got to do, you know? Wait a second. Get a job at a deli. Did Lisa Rinna just confess to this crime? She'd be like, "I own it. I'm guilty, guilty as charged." Okay, I'm off. I'm officially off. Thanks for coming. She would actually own up to it. You know, I've killed so many people, you know, it's just what we have to do in Hollywood. Harry Hamlin always tells me, "Stop killing people, and I can't." I would have Andy Cohen on my jury, because Andy Cohen would never concentrate on the real issues. They'd be like, "Okay, well, Ronnie's up for murder," and he'd say something like, "Yeah, but his face. Have you guys, like, when was the last time he had his boobs done? Can we talk about that?" And no one would ever get around to the murder, and I'd just get off free. No, you'd play like a game in the jury room and be like, "Okay. Murder evidence or penis?" All right, everyone. Here's the first picture. Murder evidence or penis? Jack Hole of the Week, Kristen. Oh, justified. Okay, he killed Kristen. Justified. I think that's like 12 people, isn't it? Yeah, I think that's good. I'm trying to think who else would be good on the jury. I think that would be all, because the other ones, like, they hold too much shit against you forever. It's like, the people who never forget any little crime ever, like Countess Lou Ann would be like, "Guilty. He's guilty because he told people that I'm not a real countess. Guilty." That happened 20 years ago, get over it. Well, you know, Durindo would be good on the jury, because she would really obscure the case, because anytime anything would happen, she would just start speaking up from the jury box. You know, like, someone goes, "Objection." Hey, hey, you don't get to object. Uh-uh. You don't get to object. You know what? I object. He objects. We all object. You know, chaos crayon. You can't do that. You know, listen. Listen to me. There's a red balloon over there, and that's going to say, because the light is good in the courtroom, okay? So we better step back. You better step the fuck back, okay? Hey, it's just acting like a murderer, okay? Mr. Jetson. We're from the same neighborhood. We're from the same place, right, right? We're from the same place, right? He come and done it. Actually, Ramona would be good on the jury, too, if only to solve a crime from the past, because, you know, during the case, Ramona would be like, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, Mr. Kratz, stop right there." You know, when you were talking about a salvage yard, it reminded me of this time when I was a little girl. I was in the forest, and there were all these trees that had fallen down. I said, "Someone should salvage this wood. It's salvageable wood. You could use it for so many things." And then my father said, "No, don't go near the woods. There's a dead body over there." And I said, "Whoa, whoa, is that Geraldine? Is that Geraldine Parsons Smith?" And he says, "No, don't even say that name again. It's all coming back to me. This is crazy. Sorry I would be the longest. You have to do the other case." You would stay in jail for life anyway, because she'd never stop talking. Like she'd be in the jury room making about herself the entire time. She's like, "Does he have father? Does he have daddy issues? Because I understand that. Because one time, I was watching divorce court, and my father came in and said, "This show should be based on me and your mother." And then he threw the remote control at my head. "Whoa, it's me, oh my god." That's why Stephen Avery in jail, probably Romano was in there, and everybody said, "Which I heard. You know, let's just go home. Do whatever you gotta do. Let's just go home." That rad four reminds me of Sunshine. "I wish I could go home." "Do we have anything else in the mail big?" Yes. Oh yeah. So Deborah Howard, she wants to know, you get ready for some more listing. She says, "If you picked seven housewives for real housewives of the world from all past and present housewives, who would you choose?" Mine would be Shannon, Derinda Bethany, Vicki, Kenya, Ramona, and of course, Lisa Vanderpump. Kenya. That's actually a good mix. Oh my god, Ramona and Lisa Vanderpump. Stop asking me questions, okay? Just stop asking me questions. Darling, my father called me darling. Jesus, this is one one stop crying. "You could call me anything you want, Ramona." My father always said, "You called me anything you want." And you know what I did? I would call him daddy and he said, "Don't call me that, okay? I'm sorry." You can call a zucchini noodle a noodle, but it's not a noodle. It's a stringy zucchini, okay? Okay. Stop hitting me in the head with zucchini noodles. I would pick Gina, Magali, Neenie, just because you know she'll start fights over nothing. What? Shannon. No, no, no. Shannon should be in everyone. Although, you can't have Neenie without Luan because that's a great combo. You'll look at you picking my Real Housewives of the world. I will never be able to produce this show because you'll diss my entire cast. Hand great. Hand-greet. Hand-greet casting director. Yeah, so I'd basically pick Gina and then whoever had been put on my cast. I'd be like, "Okay, thanks Ben." Love you. You can pick the rest. You can pick the rest. How many do I have left too? Okay. The rest of them, I like Vanderpump, but you know she's not exciting enough for a Housewives of the world. I feel like she doesn't get enough fights. So I would mean, I would get someone like the girl who got kicked off Kristen because I know everybody would box her out. And yeah, I would have Bethany because she would tell everybody off for no reason. But I think Bethany, Neenie, Shannon, I mean, that's a really good end-gener. Oh my god. Oh, yeah. You're calling me insignificant ass hair? I started ass hairs. All right, Gina. I would do... Ask David. It's interesting because there's so many that I would do, but like once you pick one, it kind of dictates what the next ones would be, right? Because if you start with Shannon Bador, then you'd have to think very specifically who would be hilarious with Shannon Bador. But if you start with like Kim Richards, then you're going for a different type of cast. So I would do Shannon. She's a must-have. Shannon. And I wonder if maybe even like Pettiflor would play well with with the Shannon? I don't know. Shannon, I would just put Shannon and then people who have cheated on their husbands or who have stolen husbands. So you'd have to put... Even though Eileen's not really earning her keep as far as I'm concerned, I would put Eileen in there just to watch Shannon break her down. I mean, you think Lisa was giving you shit? Oh. I think I actually... I would do Shannon and Luann because that Shannon would get really insecure about Luann's haughtiness. Because you know, that's another button for Shannon. I'd be like, "Miss... Miss know it all. Miss... Miss manners." You know? So what if I want to have no sugar in my food? I'm sorry. So then, so do Shannon, Luann... You already did yours. I tried to think of Atlanta. You just made a list of yours. Didn't you already list yours? Did you forget? I told you. I rescinded... I rescinded your list. I said, "Okay, you do it." Oh, no, but you did your own first. You said, "I would do Kenya." You already made your list. No, no, no, that was Deborah Howard's. That was Deborah Howard's list. Oh, are we on a different list? Are we still on Real Housewives of the world? No. Deborah, when she asked her question, she gave her suggestion and then you did yours. Oh, I thought Jesus has been. That is a quick list. You're like, "Here's my list for the housewives of the world." And then you listed all these... It was Deborah's list. I'm so sorry. It's like, "Oh my god, who's the stoner here?" Because it should be me. Okay. How about this? Luan Tamra. Shannon... You just made me cough up Tamra Bile. Promona. Gross. How about, "Why don't we throw in a Taylor Armstrong?" And why don't we throw in... Taylor and Shannon. Taylor not only stole the husband, she stole the husband who was the lawyer of her own dad husband. And then she's also... All she talks about now is she sick? Is she not sick? Do I believe her instead? Do I not believe her instead? And you know, Shannon is not going to be questioned on her 1,000 illnesses, so that would be good. Why don't we throw in, why don't we throw in for the fun of it? Adriana from Miami. And then... I mean, as long as I've already resurrected this woman from the depths of Jersey, why not Danielle Staub? That's seven. That's actually a terrible cast. It's a terrible cast, but it'd be funny. I think they would play well off each other. I never think the cast looks like it's going to work, but it always works. It's very rare that they don't work. Of course, it doesn't take much to please me, apparently. For someone who acts like it takes so much to please me, it really doesn't. I mean, we talk about Bravo seven hours a week, so... There you go! That's hard. I mean, it's hard to whittle down seven, because when you started thinking, like, "Well, how can you do this? How can you have this person but then not have Ramona? And then how could you forget Gina? It's hard. That's a hard one to do. Deborah, that's a hard question. We did it, though. That's a pretty good world housewives. Yeah, and now the last question, which is a good segue out of the crap in the mailbag, comes from Catherine with no last name. She's a mysterious lady. She wants to know, "Can you re-enact the Bethany/Erika scene in making a murder accents, please?" Okay, so we can set the stage. We're in the Hamptons. Bethany is now teaching Erika about her brand. Who do you want to be? I'll be Erika. Okay. All right, so let me... I have to, like, also, like, some... I have to remember what to help Bethany saying. Oh, yeah, you know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So your brand? You have a brand yet? What's a brand? You know, I'm stupid. Erika, you're not stupid to me. Oh, yes, I am. Erika, did you tell the officer your brand was about having an alter ego? I was gonna, but WrestleMania was an... Oh, Erika. Did they get... Why are you saying these things, Erika? Why do you go back and forth? Are you... Are you Erika Jane or Erika Girardi? I forgot. I'm dumb. You know. Erika. Where are they blaming me? I didn't do nothing. Erika, you have your brand. You can't let those guys tell you what your brand is. I wrote it you a letter. It says, fuck you, I'm gonna kill you and all our kids. Okay. Erika, why would you write that letter? Why would you write that letter, Erika? You know they're seeing you yet? I don't know. I was hungry. Erika, next time just ask for Snickers Bar. They gave me a cookie. What started a cookie was it, Erika? Was it a skinny girl cookie, at least? Was it skinny girl? It was made out of rape and murder. It tasted real good. Oh god, Erika. Erika, you have to tell those men don't give you rape and murder cookies. You have to fix your brand, Erika. I don't get your brand. You gotta fix your brand, Erika. Erika. You gotta fix your brand yet. Yeah? Well, y'all know it's just that I fell in love with them because I was waiting tables. It's a cocktail waiter late at night. Y'all know. Erika, what am I going to do with you? Yeah. Innocent Erika. Innocent, why you cocktail waitering yet? It's difficult to even do the housewives because even Erika, I mean, these people are so much smarter than anybody on how to make a murderer that it's hard to even cross those worlds because the fight really let's face it. The fight would be, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, actually, also my, my, yeah, yeah. My version of, of like, Manitoba County, Bethany is totally wrong because it's way too empathetic. It's like, why, why? Manitoba County, Bethany would be more like, yeah, I gotta wall up. Got to wall up, Erika. I don't see anything. You're guilty. You're guilty, Erika. Erika. I'm standing by the car crusher. There's nothing in here. What are you dumb? I am dumb. I know you are. You're dumb. You're dumb. All right, Erika, this is what you got to do for your brand in jail, okay? You're gonna listen to me, okay? You're gonna listen to me yet? Who leaves, who leaves the key on the floor? I mean, that's just the dumbest thing I ever heard, Erika. You know, I mean, you're framing yourself and you're framing yourself badly. Frame yourself properly, okay? Get a good, get a good frame. You don't want to be the bad frame brand. Why didn't you tell me you're doing this to your brand? If you had told me, I could have picked you up in my pickup truck or we could have been out of this mess already. Why did you tell me about it? I would have driven you away from there yet. I don't know, dumb. I think actually, actually, Ronnie, if I have to give a note, I would say it'd be mine. I don't know. Yet. I don't know. Yeah. Pat the boys. Pat the boys. My wall is up yet. My wall is up yet. My wall is up yet. Now, listen here. You borrowed me your wall and I'm not gonna borrow your wall back until you stop putting it up. If I have to talk about your brand any longer, I'm going to be literally on the floor crying. I'll be crying because my wall is up, okay? But how come there's no crying spats on the garage floor thing? You know what? If you keep asking me these questions, I literally kill me now. Like Ken Kratz, go watch this and kill me now. You'll have your murderer and it's me. I kill myself, literally kill me right now. Yeah. And he would still be convicted. They're like, we have, we have her saying she's about to kill herself. Whoops. She's killing yourself. Okay. We have a video for killing yourself. They'd be like, he did it. He totally did it. It was like basic like Photoshop of Stephen Avery's face over back. Well, we have this new intelligence app. The state is charging Stephen Avery with the death of Bethany Frankel. I don't know how, I don't know how she, they can charge me with that. She's in New York. She's a New York lady. I'm just here in Manateauk. Well, you know, the evidence points in that direction. So guilty. He's like, I'm looking for Bethany Frankel. So I'd send in her texts and say, you want my giant penis inside of you? I got a $350,000 house there. Y'all made it. And then the, then Jeri Buting gets up there. All right. Bethany Frankel, skinny girl, right? Skinny. All right. Well, you know, mainly skinny. Okay. The body they found, it's fat. Explain that. I was depressed. Because my girlfriend broke up with me because I had some bad year shores. All right. We have some body issues. Does that mean that you go kill Bethany Frankel? Cereal and how to make a murder. We've now gone across. Now we have a total just like disaster of crossover. Boberg's all day. They got sick of shooting this in the Taliban set. So they moved it to the Golden Palace. Thank you for being a friend. It's called a mashup. And Steven Avery never would have been catcaddy mashed it up. Ending a, how to, or ending a, making a murderer segment with a mashup. Isn't that beautiful? Thank you. Thank you, everyone, who posted and Catherine, you really took us your question really took us down a strange. Down down to crazy time being. Okay. So let's get this going here. Let's get it going. Let's get it going. I'm quitting something. Um, Oh, I'm quitting the podcast. Just kidding. I'm quitting the Photoshop app is still over. And it is slowing down my computer. While I quit this, by the way, everyone, feel free to come to my blog. I just posted another board game review for this game called Gold West. It's really fun. So if you're interested in that, go check it out. Visa blog.com gold wist. Um, let us talk about some real housewives of Beverly Hill. What a show. What a show. What a show. Fun times. I love the real housewives of Beverly Hills almost every single time it's on. I think it's just so fucking hilarious. And the fights on this show are traditionally about nothing. And this is around the time in the season where they said that they had the new housewife who got deported, which was Cody Simpson's mom. And then they had somebody who got fired. I read that somebody got fired and they, oh, Taylor, Taylor thought she was asked to be back to be a real housewife again. And she wasn't. They just used her because everybody else was being a wuss about calling you a lot of names. Big mistake, by the way, big mistake. They should have had her back in Mexico. She's the only one so far who's really started to serve the pot. Also, she's like married to the dead husband's lawyer. That's good enough right there. I could watch that. I could watch actually home scenes with Taylor again. Also, I need to see if she ever got Kennedy a bigger crate to sleep in. And come on, guys, give the people what they want. And what happened to snowball? What happened? Didn't they put snowball down or something? I don't think it's a snowball. Somebody had allergies to snowball and so they sent her to a farm. Madison or something. I could actually, because her husband didn't her husband buy snowball against Taylor's wishes. And so then suddenly, like, as soon as he was dead, they're like, yes, snowball have to go live with aunt Claire. Snowball is gone. Okay. Snowball's dead. Yeah. Snowball's melt. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. The rest of this podcast will just be in making a murderer voice. Don't worry. We know spoilers. No spoilers, everyone. You have not heard a single spoiler. You just heard our voices. For every storyline, I'm just going to say it was the brother and the ex-boyfriend. Okay. Move it on. There's actually someone one of our listeners posted a really good conspiracy theory on our page. Maybe we'll talk about that on next week's bonus episode because there's still more shit coming out on the pages about making a murderer. So we have still plenty of stuff. Yeah, we should definitely do a bonus again because there's so much aftermath and there's all these new accusations and raps are just getting crazier and crazier. Oh, yeah. And Brandon's brother made a rap song. God help us. He rhymes like cookie with Nookie or soda with hoda. I don't remember. It was something really good. And then he got defensive about it. And he's like, well, soda does rhyme with horror. So good. The show that will never stop killing us. Get it, guys. Okay. So anyway, so we're at the Bella party and they have the nerve to make cupcakes with Lisa Vanderpump's face on them. Who does that? Who wants to be on a cupcake? Not anyone from this cast. Okay. I would like to be on a cupcake. I'd like to eat a cupcake right now, actually. Hungary hashtag Hungary hashtag cupcake relief. No one wants to be on the face of a carb darling, especially in the skinny girl episode. I thought that that meant there would be a fight later on, but there wasn't, at least with Vanderpump, even though Kyle tried. Okay. So starting at the very begins of the begins, we're still at this Palm Springs, weird party on the cover of the other one magazine. Yeah. Bella party party for Bella magazine. I wanted to call you and congratulate you on being on not Gigi magazine. Yeah. Not the highlights of anything magazine. Okay. So they are going over to this celebration dinner. Lisa's already gilted everybody and she dropped it, which was pretty impressive because normally on this show, it'd be like, welcome to dinner, darling. Now I want everybody to go around the table and say why they're grateful for staying in a different hotel than me. Yeah. What they do hate about the Capri Hotel. Now you start, Kyle. And by extension, what they hate about me, Kyle, please tell the table why you've hurt me so on my special day. Lisa wearing an Easter upon a dinner is so tacky and amazing. How do I know better manners than Vanderpump? Well, that's her. That's her tactic. Remember, she wears big hats the way people don't talk to her. She said that she's like, people have a heart I'm going under the hat. It's quite amazing. It's done to go under the hat. I lean in turn and look at my hat. So, she's like, she's in a beekeeper outfit. She's in my, Matt Damon movie in Mars, in some space, maybe. I'm a Martian. Someone gets me home to Beverly Hills. So Lisa is Randy in this episode and just wants to start shit, even if it's not about herself. Because, I mean, what is gossip? She's very gossipy this episode. And I love, love it. Because now it's episode what was a seven. So everybody's finally comfortable. And they're just starting to be bitches for no reason, which is what we want in our housewives. So Lisa comes out the gate with, you know what the saddest thing in the world is? Poor little lame donkey horses who have now glue. Also, people who get divorced. Oh, isn't it the worst? Yeah, that's a terrible thing. Luckily, none of us have been divorced before. Oh, I mean, there you are. Hello. We're talking about mutual friends on with Lisa Rinna. Lisa Rinna is like, yep, yep, mutual friends. So sad. And then Kyle goes, people who get divorced like that. I mean, they're just like gross. I mean, disgusting. Like Kyle, it's not the divorce that she has a problem with. It's how they deal it. Right. Why can't people be nicer and divorced? That is disgusting. Yeah, stupid. So we don't find out who they're talking about. But then we know it's a fake set up anyway, because of how Lisa Vanderpump talks, because as I've said a million times, she's the worst actress in the world. So you know, when she's faking it. And this was definitely one of those lead in lines like, no, poor friends. It's so sad. They're getting a divorce. It's like a queue line for a scrim to fly in or some shit. So they start talking. And then she says, I lean. You've been divorced. I lean. You've been divorced darling. Yeah. Really. So you've been married twice. No three times. She's acting like a donkey just jumped out of a cake. And she's never seen that before. What the hell are you talking about Vanderpump? Yeah. But to be fair, I mean, I think that, you know, I think that if you're like talking to a friend and you find out, Oh my God, you had a, I had no idea that there was a first husband, like a fling. You know, I think it's an understandable response to be like, Oh my God, I had no idea. That's crazy. You know. And she was like asking. So then she starts asking, I lean about how she met Vinnie. But the thing is she keeps referring to it as the affair. So, so when did the affair? You kissed him. He was on the show. And then you kissed him. Is that when the affair began? Oh, but tell me more about the affair. And you can see every time she said affair, Eileen would get so uncomfortable because, you know, it's uncomfortable to remember the fact that their relationship was sort of born out of infidelity. But as much as Eileen was upset, it's like, girl, though, that's like, that's the truth of it. Like, I know it's like upsetting to you use harsh language, like affair, but that's what happened. Yeah, you did have an affair. And what you're going to suddenly was supposed to feel bad for you because we aren't talking about your affair properly. Get out of here. You're the one who stole someone's husband. Like, no one has to worry about insensitivity about your relationship when you got a stolen husband. Come on now. And then your math is so bad. And Lisa was, I think kind of being a bitch on purpose because Vanderpump resents the fact that Eileen was on her side and went to the hotel with everybody else. I actually don't think I don't think she's being a bitch on purpose. I think she was drunk. And she was just asking. Remember, they've been drinking all day. And so I think she was just like probing, perhaps, you know, maybe she was probing too far. But I actually didn't think her questions were for considering the friendship that they have. If they had just met, that's too much. But like, they know each other at this point. And she's just asking questions and she wants to know about their, you know, like, their relationship and yada, yada, yada. But Eileen. When you play monopoly to cheat. Oh, it's a sidebar. All right. Anyway. And then Eileen says, oh, she's grilling me about Vince. And then Kyle says, Oh, well, you know, she has an Easter bonnet and an accent. So it all sounds nice. And then Lisa says, it's okay. All right, Eileen, come on, turn to me. And then Eileen still won't face her. And she's like, come on, Eileen. Look at me, darling. You can ask me whatever you want. I'm an open book. All right. So about cheating. So do you watch the affair on showtime? How does that compare to your affair? Were you thinner than her or fatter than her? Tell me what it was. Now, now what's funny is, I mean, because Lisa wrote it was like Lisa Vanderpump is being insensitive and sensitive. And I didn't really think she was being insensitive. But that being said, Lisa obviously knew on some level, she was maybe making Eileen uncomfortable because why else would she say, I don't remember, you can ask me anything you want. You know, I know you're uncomfortable, but you can feel free to quill me too. So she knew. But, you know, I didn't think it was unreasonable. I don't think it was like, I didn't think it was, it was borderline nosy. But for me, I thought it read on the not, I don't think across that line. I, you know, I'm a conspiracy theorist. So I just figured the second that Eileen didn't go to that hotel. I mean, Lisa already knows that she's got Kyle, you know, she's got Kyle on a trial basis because she knows how Kyle is and she'll turn in a second. She knows Rinna is a Kyle friend. So I think that she was expecting more of Eileen because she gave Eileen a closet to her. Okay, she's like, I showed you the inside of me, my closet. How dare you trick me like this. And Lisa holds a little shit like that. Now, whether that's true, who knows, that's my conspiracy theory. But also the fact that they cut to Lisa saying, oh, three times, they say three times a charm. I must have been fortunate enough to get it right the first time, which of course, they did this interview. I'm sure after the confrontation with Eileen where Lisa is now on the defensive and cut it in there anyway. So who knows? But if Eileen had said, look, Lisa, you're making me uncomfortable. You're asking about an affair on national TV at a group dinner, like move on. If you want to talk about this, we can talk about it some other time. And then Lisa got defensive or whatever. Then that would have been fine by me. But Eileen waits, you know, she's been known to wait weeks to bring shit up that's so insignificant. Like the American psycho comment that Brandy made at her house. I mean, of all the things, all the offenses that Brandy has done, like that that's the one that stuck. It's kind of hilarious. She basically like picture frames American psycho. She said you should get a tattooed on your chest for the rest of your life. And you're worried about her criticizing your faux painting from the 80s and your kitchen. Yeah, whatever. So then we, uh, let me see, uh, some swans of the Hamptons, hankies, cousins in the Hamptons. Oh, we didn't mention that Jill's Aaron wasn't allowed into this party, which is hilarious. And we didn't see it on camera, but that was in the news this well, you know, the blogs, the news that Jill was trying to get in. And she wasn't in and Lisa responded. Oh, I love Jill's Aaron, you know, but I'm not in charge of the party. Highlights magazine was in charge of it. And unfortunately, they hate her guts and she steals silverware from everywhere she goes. So they wouldn't let her in. Um, you'd have to talk to the good people of three, two, one contact magazine and all of a sudden. Please contact the valor pack and let them know what you think. Until Zaren, of course, is saying, Oh, well, you know, there's so many parties in the Hamptons, I don't have to break in anywhere. I just wanted to come wave hello with the gate. Lisa said on what happens, I waved to her from behind the gate. So perfect. And then Jill is posting pictures like she was there because she's taking pictures from behind the gate or whatever. And she's like, look, there's the lady's talking. Here's a different view. Oh, look, now here's me talking to Ken while he's telling me, you know, he loves me. Well, Ken's like, I'm sorry, you've got to go. Yeah, please take your daughter with you. All right. There's no Tupperware allowed here. Please go. Anyway, that's just a fun slide note. So we move on from there. We move on from dinner, which has now become this huge drama because, of course, in my opinion, Kyle has everybody while that she works behind the scenes. So now Eileen's mad, which Kyle had nothing to do. I'm not saying she did. But Lisa Rinna is after Vanderpump for no reason. I'm not really sure what Rinna is up to, but she's obviously coming in with some. She's coming in with something. This season. She has soap. She has soap allegiance. So she's she's allied with Eileen, I guess, but she got pissed like three times in this episode for no reason. And she got sick. Well, which I think she was just sick of a hoshaming. But next, what was next? So now Kyle called the next day, the next day Kyle called Bethany because Kyle and Bethany are friends. You know, in case you hadn't you'd never saw that picture of Kyle and Bethany together that's been on the internet since who knows when we started learning about how they've been friends for 25 years and yada yada yada. I was like, I was sort of like laughing to myself that Bethany's credit on on this show is Kyle's friend. Just it was like a funny kind of understatement of like who Bethany is to Bravo. Isn't it a crazy world? Because I didn't know that. I didn't know that they were or maybe I just knew it and forgot it, which is more likely, but I didn't know that. And the fact that they were friends when they were so young and then Bethany got on Real Housewives because of Zarin, right? Right. And then Bethany became besties with Andy and now basically cast every show ever. And so obviously she got Kyle on her show. It's a crazy little inbred nonbreeding world. If you think about it, it's like all these, you know, nonbreeding people. Well, I guess Bethany's breeding, but with Andy, you know, you can't call it inbred when you're not breeding, but you know what I mean. Like it's kind of inbred. I like it. Yeah. So, so so basically they're gonna be going over to Bethany's place later that day. And my first thought was if Eileen thinks that Lisa Vanderpump is a is a griller. If like, at least it was the question that Lisa Vanderpump was asking if that counts as grilling, I can only imagine what's going to be like when she meets Bethany because and Kyle is looking like she's ready to go to Disneyland. She's like, Oh, we're going to Bethany's can't wait to see what she thinks of Erica Jane. Because, you know, Kyle is not going to be the one to throw the first stone because of what happened with Brandy. I mean, basically, she slut shamed Brandy from the second she saw her because Kyle hates girls like this. She hates like proud sluts, you know, and she did not like Brandy hid her crutches, did all that, did all that crap. And then Brandy became the most loved victim of all time until she turned the next season. But Kyle's learned her lesson. So she's going to let everybody else do it. In this case, Bethany. And I like that Bethany's so upfront with what Kyle's already told her, you know, because they're friends and they talk shit, but she's like, what's Bandopump doing, huh? Bandopump's still a cut. It's like, Oh, geez, here we go. Well, I like that, um, when Kyle told Bethany about like how, how Lisa was in the cover of Bella magazine, Bethany's like, what is that? I never heard of it. You can just imagine like Yolanda across country being like, that's what I always say when someone says Bella, never heard of it. Who is that? Terpen numerology. Do you know what her mulligan is? I would like to use one. How do you do a do over? I would love to control Z that one. I took the, I took the silicone out of my breasts, but Bella is still here. I don't understand. I thought I was turning back the clock. Post butter portion is illegal, but control Z is not. So, then we had the scene of Eileen and Lisa Rina trying desperately to get onto a Wi-Fi network. This was like, you know, a masterclass in soap stars dealing with technology. Like Southampton. Okay. One age. Okay. It's not going through. I don't get it. I don't get it. Should we go to the deli? My daughter's at the deli. She can help us. I brought my daughter here, but she's not spoiled. So she's making toast down the street. Oh, poor ladies, but it is sort of fun to watch them try to get onto Wi-Fi network. I could actually probably watch an hour of Eileen and Lisa trying to get onto Wi-Fi. All right, let's try this now. If we go over here, this is better. I don't just say what's happening. What's happening with my phone? Beast. Meanwhile, Kyle's just standing in the corner of the kitchen waiting for someone to comment on her short shorts, Moo Moo, with her like jewels over her exposed shoulders. Yeah. Why Kyle? Why? By the way, two episodes and Kyle has yet to visit her pop-up shop. Just putting that out there. Kyle by Eileen too is really struggling. Kyle by Eileen on the cul-de-sac, darling. Yeah. So then they all get into a limo because they're going to go wine tasting and then they go pick up Lisa. Lisa gets in and she's like, how did you sleep? I just imagine her being like, how did you sleep? Did you have an affair? Was there another affair that happened last night, Eileen? Eileen, looking at you, enjoying this. You're enjoying this wine tasting affair we're about to go on? So you rented another woman's bed for Eileen to sleep in. How fitting? Help it was comfortable, darling. Is it cold enough for you to wear a dickie, darling, or there's just two out of fashion now? Oh, I'll just find something else. I'm sure there's something else to keep you warm through the winter. No offense, darling. Grill me whenever you need to. Now, darling, when we go to the wine tasting, just try not to get you drunk because I would hate for you to have an affair with someone there too. Eileen would love to try every glass of wine, but she won't commit until she has been drinking someone else's for three years. All right. Now, Eileen, remember, you don't have to drink all the wine. You can always spit. I'm sure that was something you did with Vinnie in the early days, right? Darling, please don't swallow child's shaw. He's married. Oh, you know, I'm just joking, darling. You can ask me anything you want. So they go, they go wine tasting. I couldn't help but wonder where the hell was Aina Garten, by the way, this was like, this was like so close to being a bear for contest episode and yet no, I know, you know, like all we needed was Aina to get into the limo and be like, today I break my friends and my favorite vineyard and then afterwards I'm making Coco Van. How fun is that? How fun is that? Or, or I kind of wish, actually, this is what the episode would be. I know it'd be in her in her kitchen cooking something, you know, looking at the onions going, and then she then she turns the camera goes, hmm, my friends are over at the or at the wine tasting. I wonder, I wonder what they are up to. And then we cut to these bitches getting drunk, watching Erica Jane videos. Just just indulge me while I have a coffee fueled Aina Garten fan. No, I'm loving it. I'm watching it right now. I'm like, wow, this is so good. They'd be like, she's so fat. They'd be horrible. Like the real housewives do not need to go on that show. They'd be like, that bitches in the kitchen all day. Okay. Yeah. Out of there. Yeah. So anyway, small darling. So there were wine tasting and Lisa Rinna. So she's like, she's like, well, I haven't met Erica yet, but I looked at her video and well, I'm not judging. I'm just reporting. I'm like, you know, you're judging. You're judging Lisa. It's okay. It's really not because Rinna's bugging me at this point because to me, Rinna would not give a shit. She talked last year about how she watches porn with her husband and she's so sexually free. She's done Playboy twice once when she was freaking pregnant for crying out loud. And she didn't do the most innocent Playboy shots in the world. I mean, I think there's a full on coups centerfold, which they were looking at in last year's limo scene when they were making fun of Lisa Rinna by in her back. So this seems total Kyle to me. And I'm not really sure why you're going to be hoshemy. The only thing I could come up with watching it was that Lisa Rinna is paid for coups shots, you know, because she's a Playboy model. So to her, there's value and pussy. So when you see someone like Erica giving it away for free on YouTube, it's like, dude, you're really watering down my market. Like, don't be taken away the paid coups market. It's just not cool, you know? Yeah, exactly. It's like people who get mad at torrent sites or community theater versions of Broadway shows that haven't been released to community theaters yet. You know, it's like, it's not legal yet. All right. Samuel French is going to come after you. I'm not sure what it is. And normally on these shows, when there's a girl like Erica or Brandy or one of these girl or Carlton, who's just like, I'm a whore and I'm proud of it. You know, normally that gets on my goddamn nerves because if your whole life is built around being hot enough for some rich guy to bang you and like you can't read a book to expand your mind. I don't know, I'm mixed up. But for some reason, Erica has such a like, I've already won this monopoly game and you all lose and I'm richer than you and I'm still a dumb whore. So get in mind, bitches, get in my respecter. By the way, I have to interrupt the podcast with some very sad news I just saw on the internet right now on my phone. I mean, these, they come in threes, right? They come in threes. Oh, no. First David Bowie. Someone's dead now. Who is it? First David Bowie, then Alan Rickman. And Alan Rickman died. Oh my God. Oh my God. Don't tell me it's Ken Vanderpump. Is it jiggy? No, but it is actually, it's like, it's like the Ken Vanderpump of music. Oh God. Who would that Renee Renee? Who's that? Celine Dion's husband died. Renee. Oh wow. That's like I'm up. I'm a poor Renee poor Celine. I don't know. I feel like it's always important to break in with him with Celine Dion is. Okay. Well, that is very bad news because nobody wants anybody wonderful or anybody evil either to lose a husband. And so that's horrible. And I'm so sorry to say this, but you know Celine Dion gets to work less now because Renee is off gambling all her damn money away that she makes in Vegas. So it's fitting that this came up during Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Sorry Renee. Rest in peace. But Celine get ready to take a month off girl. Not the response I was expecting. And also, yeah, I really did die. What do you think you're talking to? Yeah. What response were you expecting? Exactly. I thought you were going to like, like have a moment of like poor Celine, not like poor Celine. That man's gambling bills for years. Okay, there's no porcelain in this. If anything, it's Richard Celine, darling. It's not poor Celine. It's more wealthy Celine. But that is sad. But I don't know Renee. Really? I just know Celine's beautiful voice. And as long as they don't take that away from me, I'm fine, darling. Go. I'm living. Yeah. Well, anyway, that was a very non-crap in the moment. I just thought it was important to share like breaking Celine Dion news. So it was a very crap in the moment. I got to trash somebody who literally just died. So it was a it was a golden day for me. Just kidding everybody. Sorry. So anyway, back to Beverly Hills. So the women are now drunk at the wine tasting. And they're drunk. They're looking at Erica's videos. And you know, they're doing that thing where they're like, I love it. It's outrageous. I love it. I love it. But you know, they're all jealous. And then a bee comes around. So of course, if there's a bee, then of course Kyle has to make a whole scene. She wonders why her daughters are neurotic when they get their ears pierced. Because it's like there's Kyle running around like a Benny Hill moment. And then they go into the vineyards. And then Kyle's like, do you think they're ticks here? I'm like, yeah, bitch. Yeah. And like, how dare you say that when your londa is suffering across the country? She knows. That's what's so amazing. She fucking knows they, you know, Lisa Rinna just got done talking about how insensitive Lisa Vanderpump is. And now she's making tick jokes with Kyle. Like, come on, bitches, please. Like, let's all stop pretending that we better hose than the other hose. Okay. Like y'all hose. And when Lisa Rinna said, I mean, when Lisa Vanderpump said, Rinna's not worried about being judgmental. She's worried about being judged for being judgmental. Yeah. It was so, so beautifully said that I don't even care. She's being a cut fitness in this show. I, she's still my queen. So there you go. You know what, people have to like calm down about using the word judgmental pejoratively. Okay. Because everyone passes judgment. And when you start choosing people of being judgmental, you're actually just being a huge hypocrite because it's everyone passes judgment. You know, now there's such a thing as passing judgment prematurely or without reason or or like not or like acting on those judgments, you know, like you may have a judgment of someone and then you're like, well, I'm not going to be friends of them because I don't like the way they look. Well, that's bad. But to be just purely judgmental, you're, you're allowed to have opinions on things. And when people act or dress a certain way, they are, when they do that, generally speaking, they are actively, they're actively selecting an appearance for themselves. They're, that's like, they're trying to connote certain, make associations, create an image for themselves, a persona, et cetera, et cetera. So if you're putting that out there, then obviously people are allowed to judge. Now, of course, that's not always the case, but that's why there's such a thing as a first impression. And it's okay. Yes, I agree. If you don't judge things, like if you're making soup, okay, and you taste it and you pass no judgment, how are you going to know how much salt to put in that soup? You don't know, is it salty? Is it not salty enough? You don't know, you need judgment. All right. When people say you is your judgment, it means don't walk into the middle of the street and get run over. You're supposed to judge people, okay? Judge them, but just don't be too mean about it. And to say you're not judgmental, but then be on TV, telling a whole table of women what a slut this girl is, and then passing around her video so they can judge for themselves what a slut this girl is. Of course, the girl's a slut. But come on, you're a soap opera actress who married like a hot guy, like, you know about being a slut, let's stop now. Everybody's a hoe at the end of the day, just calm down over there. Yeah, exactly. And I think we can all agree, the most offensive part about that music video is not Erica James, slutty, clothing, and look, whatever. It's just the music. I can't believe they made this. Why did they make us listen to that 10 times? The most offensive thing about the scene to me wasn't really even Rina or the bee or any of that. It was the gator because you know that those gay waiters, I was like, are they in Fire Island right now? Because I did not know that waiters were even this still gay, and I am one of them, okay? But when the waiter comes on and he's like, this next wine is like a campfire in your mouth without the flame. Yeah, come on, man, if that's supposed to sound good, it's like sounds like some cold sticks and a dirt pit. Yeah, yeah, exactly. It's like a it's like a it's like a big bowl of feces without the mushiness. Great. Delicious. Poor another darling. So next Erica is coming to the house. She's taken wearing her small plane to the large plane to a train to a bus to a she's like the transportation authority. And she's showing up Rob Chanel. She is wearing so much Chanel stuff around her neck. I mean, it's like a chain that has Chanel like sees everywhere. She's like, nothing but Chanel sees all over her, her neck. Yes. And I love it because Kyle, in one of her attorney turned things to the camera. What do they call those? What they like? Now it's a Kyle scene and then they show Kyle posing. I don't know what those are called. Yeah, one of those Kyle is like showing off her double C bracelet. And I was like, of course, Kyle is wearing like a double C word bracelet, you know. And then Erica shows up with three. And one is a dog chain. Like, yeah, I may be a bitch. I may be an own bitch, but I got three C's mess with me. That was like not just a dog chain that those chain links. It looked like they she stole them from like the Long Beach Harbor, Port of Los Angeles. I mean, those are the things we're like, the kind of things that hold back ships. It was huge. It's like the kind of chain Kingsley is using right now somewhere in some farm and heaven. Exactly. So I like Erica, you know, I think she's pretty funny and cool. And what I loved is that, you know, as she's as she's there, she's talking to the women and Lisa is like, wow, wow, you're really out there. I saw your video. Wow. I know Erica is like chatting with them. And she tells us that like, hang out with one. She's like, you know, when you hang out with women instead of gays, it's different. She's like, you have to listen. I was like, that is so perfect. Because you know, when she's up there in her loft and her gaze like, oh my God, your boobs look great. I love her vagina. I love all your thing. You know, she's like, yeah, yeah, she's not listening to him. She's just noise. She hears general flattery. She's like, my husband is not paying for these people to be my friends. And I have to make an effort. God damn it. Normally I would hate to I would hate somebody who walks in dressed like a baby gap version of Chanel. Because that was like Chanel, but it's all baby versions like nothing fits. It's all too small. And then she's got toddlers and Tara's hair. And then she's wearing sunglasses that God, no, they probably cost more than Dana's entire legal, you know, history on her face. She doesn't take them off inside. I just want to hate Erica. Every time I see her, I just, I think I'm just gonna hate this bitch. And then I love her. But making all the other ladies so nervous is so hilarious to me. Lisa Rinna doesn't even know what to do with this girl. She is no idea. She's completely out of her mind with what to do. She doesn't know how to speak. She doesn't know how to take it. She doesn't know how to judge it when she tells her. So Erica, I just have to say I admit, I watched your video. And here's what I have to say, like, wow, gosh, I mean, whoa. And then Erica's like, yeah, well, you know, when I conceived this video, the way that we went about doing this video, you're not on the actor studio drop it. That's what's my, that's my alter. It's my, it's my own thing. You go. So, you know, I like it because it's like I'm Erica Jen. I was a majority. She's my toy. She's my toy voice. And then while she's in her actor studio, Rinna asks her pretending she's being nice, but she's totally being a cut fitness. She goes, so what you do, um, is it like acting or? And Erica says, yeah, I'm an actor. It's like being an actor. I feel it and that I become it. And it's my art. It's what my art is. And then Eileen comes in, thank God for Eileen, you know, Eileen comes, I don't say that often unless I'm watching Days of All Lives, but Eileen comes in and says, do you love that Lisa is acting so shocked? You know, she was in Playboy, right? And again, yeah, but Rinna's looking at it like that's something classy because Playboy is looked at as a milestone in a host life. I mean, that's like the biggest one you can get to, you know, it's a goal post that she reached. And this girl is not going to, not going to show nudity in Playboy anymore. So, um, so then we go to Yolanda. Yolanda is in bed. She's gotten her boobies out and she she is on the road to recovery. She's like, you know, it feels like someone shot a canon in my chest, a canon, a canon, a canon, a canon, a canon, a canon. Gigi gets me dictionary. It reminds me of Bella. She come in and she says, calm, I say, none. And she leaves. Um, Yolanda's ridiculous. She's, her whole scenes, her scenes are so sad to watch because David is such a piece of shit. That guy is awful. But I really hope that she watches all of these episodes so that she can see in the scene right before this Erica Jane has a jumpsuit. And she's like, I've got to put my jumpsuit in the shower, which made no sense, but it's hilarious that she's showering her jumpsuit. No, no, no, no, no, because you turn the shower on and the steam from the shower, like, uh, gets the steam's out all the wrinkles. I knew you were going to see that when that moment happened, I was like, Oh, I bet Rodney's going to make fun of Erica putting the jumpsuit in the shower. That was the funniest thing to me. She's like, I put her bodies up saying it's a shower. And I thought, God, please let Yolanda get that idea because those white jeans have got to take a bath sooner or later. So we get to David, my love. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm gonna say because Lisa. So Lisa calls up to check in on Yolanda and David Foster, such a dick. He's like, yeah, now Ken has better teeth than my wife. Huh. So gross. She's a shit. And Yolanda looks so hurt. And he's like, what? Um, and Lisa's biggest is part of your identity that's been removed. That's all. She loved having those big boobs. It's only the reason I left you. Um, I mean, it's only the reason I married you that are gone now. Bye. And then they show him rubbing her boobs again in the car. I mean, the guy's just such a pig, you know, and Yolanda's telling him, do you listen to what you signed up for? Is it my love? It's not what you signed up for? He's like, you signed the preen up. Let's stop talking about signing things. I made my argument. So he's a jerk, Vanderpump, make sure she calls on camera, which is very sweet and publicity aware, which is good for her. And she's mad that they didn't send the pink roses. What idiots don't know how to send pink roses? And why do you need to send your friend who's possibly dying of like 500 different diseases? Your favorite color? How does that make any sense? Center some chakalebins or something. I want your rose that your well roses noted. Well, if I was dying in a hospital and you sent me like a think thin bar and a board game, I'd be like, well, thanks for being so sensitive to my needs, Ben. You know, yeah, and you're only visiting because the podcast is recording. It's true, though. That's exactly what you would get. And that's why I'm mad at Lisa. Something's better than nothing to do with me. Something's better than nothing, Ronnie. So just accept the bar, enjoy the game and shut the fuck up before I put a pillow over your face. So Kyle shows up, you know, I eat through a pillow. Kyle shows up at the skinny girl display mansion. And knowing that the knee brings her a huge gift. So Bethany is like, Oh, you got me a gift. Thank you so much. Bethany is wearing tuxedo. Is this a plate? Is this a plate? Is this a bowl? I can't tell it's long. It looks like a plate. This is a serving platter. I mean, I don't know. I can't I can't understand this thing that you get me, which I put on the bench is going to show. I mean, seriously, it's just like, kill me right now. This gift to kill me right now. It's too much. I can't believe it's much. You have to give this to me on camera because you know, Jason's going to want a piece of this. Yeah. So she shows off her beautiful home. Well, like a couple are great. I want to say Bethany looks fantastic. Even if she's wearing an outfit that sort of ages her a little bit, she looks fantastic. You think her outfit ages her? I don't even know what time period that outfit is from. It's like a it's a poncho, but it's made out of tuxedo material. And then there's a big hole in the front. I'm not really getting it. It was like, I kind of like loved it because it was sort of this big flowy, glamorous thing. But it did make it was something that like, I feel like a 50 year old would wear, but she looked great. And she's hanging out with Kyle. So she's trying to wear whatever her version of a captain is. So I thought it sort of looked like it looked like a fabric version of a stingray. It's just a flowy white thing, you know, she is kind of and she does have a barber. So in traditional Bethany design mode, Bethany's designed this beautiful home and then she's turned a shack in the backyard into a bar. So she doesn't have to have any putting mess up her house when she has parties. And I thought that was so fucking funny. She's like, okay, this is the shack. Okay, that's it. There's a bathroom here. That's it. Don't let anybody in the kitchen. Literally, I'm homeless. Like, I used to have a home and I turned into a bar. Like, literally, I'm homeless in the back there. With big wireless providers, what you see is never what you get somewhere between the store and your first month's bill, the price you thought you were paying magically skyrockets with mint mobile, you'll never have to worry about gotchas ever again. I mean, how many times have you felt like, oh, this has been such a great deal. And then at the end of the first month, you're like, what just happened? Yeah, you look at the charges. It's like, I agreed to a certain amount. And then you look at that bill and it is nowhere near the number that you agree to. But then there's like 90 million charges on top of what you agreed to. They were just secret, sorry, but not with mint. Say, bye bye to your overpriced wireless plans, jaw dropping monthly bills and unexpected overages. All plans come with high speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. To get this new customer offer and your new three month premium wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to mintmobile.com/crapins. That's mintmobile.com/crapins. Cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com/crapins. $45 up front payment required equivalent to 15 dollars a month. New customers on first three month plan only speeds slower above 40 gigabytes on unlimited plan. Additional taxes, fees and restrictions apply, submit mobile for details. The holidays are coming and everything's a glow. Give your loved one a reason to sparkle with jewelry from Blue Nile. Right now, Blue Nile is offering special Black Friday and Cyber Monday deals. Save up to 50 percent on the season's most stunning trends or keep it classic with an endless selection of bold gold styles, gemstone jewelry and eternally stylish diamond pieces. Shop now for up to 50 percent off jewelry at blue Nile dot com, the original online jeweler. That's blue Nile dot com. Blue Nile dot com. I built this so I'd never be homeless again. They start talking about old stories of when they met each other at some restaurant, which was really cute because Bethany just came up to her and was like, "Hi, I'm dating your ex-boyfriend. Why did you pay so much for eye makeup removal? Because it's still in the bathroom and I've discussed it that you would waste so much money." "It's disgusting. Shut up." "Why do you have manning on your fingers?" "I look at that eye. I look at that makeup removal and I think I don't get it. What's the brand here? I don't see what it is. Is it a remover? Is it an astringent? I don't get it. What am I doing with it? Who's is it? Where to come from? Is it from Mars? Is it a girl? Who did it? Why is it, why is it, say, Richard? Who is Richard? There's already an eye makeup remover called eye makeup remover, so your eye makeup remover needs better branding. I'm embarrassed to have had sex with the same person that you have sex with, so pre-brand. Literally, we're driving around little girls right now, like Nicki in Paris, like, "Who are these girls in my car? Why am I driving them? Why am I a chauffeur? What is this that I'm doing? How am I doing this? Why are you seriously killing me now but don't kill the children because they're children and I wouldn't want that to happen?" But, seriously, the wall is at the wall between the front, the passengers and me is up. Literally, it's but it's not going up, like, "It's seriously? Tell me right now." So, Bethany immediately brings up the Twitch, you know, Twitch arrest because that just happened. And Kyle doesn't get mad because she's asking in a way that's like, "How do you feel?" Which is very different than Kyle's usually asked, but I liked it because she's like, "So, Twitch, gel, shock. How do you feel?" By the way, Twitch is Kim Richards. Twitch is Kim Richards for people who don't know. Oh, yeah. Kim Twitchers. So, uh, how's she doing? How's Kim? Ah, gel, shock up, Francia. Ah, backseat, pretend you're paying. I mean, who does that? And Kyle's like, "I'm sick of talking about it, but Bethany really cares, so it's okay." And Bethany really does understand Kim Richards. A, she's known her for a long time. B, you know, she had, like, three out of all for breakfast, which is very close to Beth. And she's reminding us that she's poor a million times, so she gets stealing from a dollar aisle. And it was actually nice seeing someone understand both Twitch and Kyle at the same time. Yeah. It was nice. And, you know, the other thing is that we learned, after the scene, is that Lisa Renna also was friends with Bethany, and that they had met once when Lisa was going to go meet up with Kelly Bensemon at a fashion show. And then this was the highlight of the episode for me because we saw a flashback. And ladies and gentlemen, we had a triple bravo crossover. It was Real Housewives of Beverly Hills meets Real Housewives of New York City, meets Secrets and Wives because Corey from Secrets and Wives was in the mix in this little scene, very briefly. Did you see Corey? I sure did. She, like, walked in, looked around, and then said she was like, "This fashion show sucks. It sucks. Am I right? Am I right?" She's like, "I'm naming somebody's truth and beauty. What do you think of that?" No, I don't like the branding. You know, make it a plus sign. People like to add, you know, so make it like truth plus beauty, you know, because truth plus plus beauty is like a real woman, you know, truth and beauty, like that could mean too many things. Free brand. Not enough food here. Not enough food. I need some, I need some bagels over here. C.N.D. C.N.D. brings some bagels to fashion show, C.N.D. special socks. And that people were coming in here, so my husband's outside pushing traffic cones together so he can funnel everybody towards the anal plugs. What was it? The anal soap? What's his thing? Yeah. Yeah, it was not anal. It was the anal massage. It's like anal beads? I don't know. She's the anal massager. You know, I was really let down by this fashion show because C.N.D. didn't get on the mic and tell everyone how much she loves me. I was really disappointed. You got lysed! Sterilized! This fashion is so amazing and paralyzed. We also got some good past stories about Bethany being hired to drive Kathy Hilton's kids around and then getting into a screaming match with Paris and Nikki Hilton at a mini-mart. That was pretty good. And then Mother Hilton hiding all of her diamonds in a mannae's jar. Oh, there's some good shit in here. I could watch those for a good spin-off hour. So Bethany immediately starts asking about the new hoe on the block and she's like, "What's the serica girl? Show me a picture of the sera. What is wrong with her? Look at her. Oh, she's beautiful. Ah, keeps a lot upkeep. Ah, what is it? What's her face? What's wrong with her face? Oh, her face is beautiful. Oh, I don't know about this girl. Just going on and on. And this girl is not even here yet. I'm so excited. So yeah, Kyle is kind of baiting her along. Like, yeah, well, you know, she's married to a 76-year-old. 76. What? I mean, that's amazing. I mean, but that's that's rough to do. You know, she's like a guardrail, basically. You know, it's just like a walking piece of toilet paper like cleaning up a trail of crap. I mean, what? She has a private plane? Okay, that Bobby. And then she calls her Barbie and she calls her Bambi a lot, which I found interesting because Bambi's a fucking hero. Okay. Yeah, I actually never saw Bambi. You didn't see Bambi? Yeah. Well, it was very interesting here because Bambi's mother was killed very early. Spoiler. Oh, I'm sorry, but it's not a spoiler. That was in 1940. So Brandy, Brandy, Brandy's mother was dead. Suddenly we're all feeling for Brandy. Bambi was about Brandy Glantill. Just kidding. Bambi was a little adorable deer and his mother got shot in front of him by hunters. And his dad was like the prince of the forest and owned everything. And then Bambi like made a couple friends to be a ho with in the forest and stuff and like weight tables or whatever. And then Bambi, they all decide that they're not going to fall in love because love is for suckers. And so they won't open themselves up to love. But then Bambi gets a crush after his other friends get married off and he has no one to hang out with. And then the new crush, he ends up getting into a fight to win this new girl against like some other deer that was trying to get her. And then he realizes that love is worth fighting for and he opens up his heart. And I'm like, this is a very interesting, oh, and then he inherits the entire forest and runs everything. So the reason that I'm telling you that story is because the fact that Bethany keeps bringing it up as a criticism, you're talking to a woman with major mommy issues that have not been resolved. You're talking to a woman who's obsessed with empires and blah, blah, blah. And saying Bambi like it's a bad thing. Bambi resolved the mommy issues. Why are jokey girls called Bambi in the first place of Bambi as a boy? I mean, I know it's like a gender fluid name now. Well, Bambi is like a really big stripper name. And I think that the reason strippers name themselves Bambi is because it's about not needing a partner for the most part, just like making your own way in the forest until like it's the last second, you know, your boobs are shriveling up. And then suddenly you decide that love's okay. I don't know what it is. Also, Bambi becomes rich in the end. It's like someone who can't attach themselves to other people, but then still become rich. But anyway, Bambi solved the mommy issues. Bambi ended up taking the entire forest over and fought for true love. All of the things that Bethany wants, but doesn't have. So you keep being jealous of Bambi over there, Bethany. Yeah. So on the drive, I think it was at this point, right, when Lisa starts asking Erica questions about, well, first of all, Lisa's like, oh, I saw your video. It was very, it won't tick. Erica's like, yeah, that's the point. And then, then Lisa starts asking Erica, all these, this happens here, right, which just starts asking all these questions. Let me say again, doesn't think like, ask me anything you want. So tell me about your husband's penis. Does your 76 year old husband poop randomly? Okay, do you have to carry paper towels in your purse for your husband? Okay, does your husband trip over his bowls? All right, tell me everything, darling. And Erica's getting pissy and saying, I think my voice of am upon ask people questions because it's how she controls people. And she likes to keep her backs in her row. You're right in a way. And I'm sure that you'll end up told you that. But she's also asking you questions because she's also married to a senior citizen. Okay, that's exactly what I was going to say. She's bored. That's I wrote that note somewhere here. But I was like, yeah, oh, yeah. So I actually, I think that really happened later in the episode. My apologies for going out of order. But yeah, that's exactly it. Like, I wrote down. She's asking these questions because she's got nothing else. She lives in a house with a bunch of swans and balding dogs. Like, this is the most interesting thing that's happened to her in a long time. So please, like, just let the old lady happen to have a moment. And she seems genuinely interested. I didn't think she was being mean, but Erica is treating it like she's being mean. And she's giving Kurt answers and staring out the window and acting like she's being grilled and then saying that Lisa Vanderpump's being controlling. And Lisa actually looked hurt in that scene. She, this was another person who's like, refusing to talk to her, you know, she's like, well, I can tell you're very happy, darling, the way you talk. Congratulations. She's like, where's Lala? She can answer questions for me. Lala, Lala's like, don't control me. Oh, Lisa goes, goes off like Charlie Brown, sulking away. Erica is nice. Lisa goes to Lisa goes to kick a ball. She falls in her butt. Oh, Lisa. I think of anything, um, least Erica is the one being controlling because she can scare all the other women with her upfront sexuality and her hodom. And she can make them all uncomfortable. And that's why Erica's always shoving that shit down everybody's throat. Like, literally, she's, she's trying to be controlling by being crazy with her slut personality. She's afraid of someone like Lisa, because she knows that Lisa runs an entire stable of sluts. Okay, Lisa could be the best madam of any whorehouse ever. And Lisa knows how to deal with a Randy Ho. She can love you. And she can also tell you off when you need to be told off. And she can possibly one day teach you to properly pronounce Chilean sea bass. You know, she's there. And I think that someone like that is threatening to Erica because she can't control her with her fake stupid personality. And she can't enrage her with her stupid personality. And I like it. Yeah. So, um, so when the women show up at Bethany's plays, Bethany, of course, greets Erica with like past aggressive praise, she's like, Oh my God, I've been watching your videos. I'm obsessed with you. I'm obsessed, which is always, which is code for, I was just talking shit about you, but I'm going to say this that way. It looks like that when I was talking shit about you is part of me like loving you. You know, it was like, you know, it was like, it's like, you're not obsessed with her. You're just like, just getting ready to tear her apart. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Did you like a husband? Did your husband's plane have trouble getting over my gravel driveway in the mansion that I paid for myself? Oh, I hope not obsessed. Come on. I'm obsessed with you. I don't understand your brand at all. I look at it. I don't know what it is. But I'm obsessed with you. I'm obsessed. I don't understand you. I'm obsessed. You're big. You're a big Ho. I'm obsessed. Like, literally, I think you're a terrible person. I'm obsessed with you. I love that when they go and they sit down at the table that Bethany has set up outside. These abandoned pump, like, oh, look at the sexy sunflower. I'm like, it's just a sunflower, honey. It's like, it's plugged from blossom's hat at the Smithsonian. Oh, it's so sexy. It's sexy. And it was about sexiness, don't you? Look at me. Anything about my sunflowers. Look at these sad sunflowers needing to face the sun at all times, unlike my pink roses, which just bloom because love is in the air. Though I really was noting a lot about Erica in the scene. Mostly, Bethany was being a total seaward right up front and Erica loved it because this is where Erica can speak the language. She wants women to hate her. She's used to women hating her and she's ready with her offensive. I was a cocktail waitress and a blah blah and I met my husband on the light shift or whatever, just trying to call me a hooker. Call me a hooker. You know, I like her. She's coming out with all that because she can fight against the women. I think she's she's been ready to fight this whole time. Like, she's been ready to go at it, but no one's really going for her yet and it's made her so uncomfortable. So when she sees someone like Bethany coming for her, it almost makes her happy because she'll have something to do. You know, I'm actually looking forward to to like a few episodes down the line because Erica still looks visibly uncomfortable with these women. She's like very stiff. She's not. You can see she's very guarded and because she's feeling them out. I mean, she just met Lisa in a right now. She's just meeting everyone. But in a few episodes, I think she's gonna start like loosening up and I'm excited for what for what she's going to be like. Yeah, me too, because I'm not really sure yet and I have a feeling I'm giving her a Glanville edit in my mind and I'm liking her because she's a victim and not liking her because I really like her because I'm not really sure with her yet. But she's not really a victim. I mean, they I mean, they they're past aggressive, but they're not, you know, compared to the way the reception that brand you got when she first showed up. I mean, Erica is really, you know, she's practically like getting the full coming to America experience with answers and road pedals. Well, when they're back, I think it's what I mean. Like the way they're talking about her and trying to host Shamer every time she's not in the room and stuff like that. Yeah. And I think I'm worried that I'm liking her for the wrong reasons. But you know, by me, that's what she is. So then they're having dinner. They're having dinner and sure enough, Bethany starts giving unsolicited branding advice to Erica Jane. And in my mind, I'm like, what why are you bothering Bethany? This is, you know, like Erica, she has her like, she has her her little thing. You know, she just Erica Jane does gay pride. That's all it's ever going to be at least for right now. She just puts out these sort of generic dance hits that play well at the Abbey. And it just works like, you know, it's like, why give advice about something? Like if it's like just, you know, she always gives advice when it's not asked for it. So obnoxious. And here she goes again with her brand. Well, first Erica goes to the bathroom. And then when she's coming back out, Bethany says, here she is wife, Mughal, Mughal's wife by day and ho by night. And her kind of laughs. And then she brings her in after calling her a ho, you know, even though Erica's like, hi, I'm a ho nice to meet you. So even through all that, it's still fucking rude. So then they sit down and she starts grilling her and she says, Erica, you're branding. I mean, what is this? What brand is this? Are you Nabisco? Are you chips a hoy? I don't even know. Yeah, you know, what kind of cookie are you? How long do you take to bake? Do you have gluten? Do you not have gluten? One minute, you've got two fingers up your ass with knuckle rings. And the next second, you know, you look like pretty like Bambi. Like, what are you? What are you? It's like, it's like Oreos. It's like Oreos. I look at an Oreo and say, is this a black cookie with a white filling? Or is it a white filling with the black cookies on top? Like, I don't get it. Like, I need clarification. Need to say what it is. Right now, you're saying you're like an Oreo with two different covers. But basically, you're one Oreo and everybody has to lick you from the middle. I don't get it. What's the brand? And she did have Oreo and she was like, I don't get it. Like, what is hydrox? Like, is that a monster? Is that like a chemical? Like, why is it in cookie shape? Like, these are things I don't understand. Like, and if there's an Oreo, like, why are there so many O is that word Oreo? Like, why not just like Ore? Or what about just like, EO? Like, I don't get it. And like, what about Captain EO? Like, how does he feel about this? Like, what are we doing here? I don't add too much going on. Captain EO. Erica's like, actually, I have Captain EO because my husband owns a spaceship. So we fly past Captain EO all the time. So in the middle of this, in the middle of this, Lisa, you know, it was inevitable that someday that Bethany would cause a physical reaction in someone. And sure enough, Lisa Rinna, all of a sudden, I was like, I got a puke. I'm going back to the Airbnb. So she, Lisa Rinna leaves to go shit in puke the rest of the night, which is fun. Yeah. And then it's like, I was not hosheming that girl. I was asking her rude questions in a very polite way. Okay. That's not hosheming. That's like, hosheming. It's very different. Bethany's just coming out of the gate. Like, you're out. What a hosie. Can you eat meat or do you need something like with a straw? Like, do you need to suck something down? Like, what can I get you to eat, darling? You know, it's so fucking rude. I don't like the production values. Yeah, she starts going in. Well, you know, honestly, I don't like the production values. And you know, the beat's too strong. And, you know, it looks cheesy. It looks, it doesn't look like a real music video. Like, you know, I don't get it. And I don't get alter ego. I look at your Instagram. I don't get it. She's just going in on Erica. But you know what, Ronnie? I didn't disagree. Oh, no, she's right. But here's the thing. She's right on all of us. Well, first, she started on the Instagram. So she started on Instagram. And she's saying an alter ego is a personality that's different from your own, which we said on this podcast. And obviously it's not like it's the same whole in every like one of them has through clothes. But otherwise, it's the same whole, right? Well, it was funny because Erica didn't seem to understand this this point, or at least as portrayed on the show. Because Bethany was basically saying, if your brand is that you are both like this glamorous formal woman, but then you can be really slutty. And this is your alter ego. If the brand is the alter ego, but you're only showing one side, no one's going to realize it's an alter ego. They just think that's just what you are. So why don't you Brandon this? I just think her alter ego. Her alter ego is not a classy woman. It's a lawyer's wife, but she's still a hoe. It's like daytime, but if you don't know that there's another side of the personality, you don't know that there's an alter ego. If you just see one half of the if you just see one half, yeah, then you just think that's what it is. It's more like day to evening, you know, it's like you add, you know, you add some stockings and a skirt instead of a dress, but it's the same outfit kind of thing, you know. Listen, if you if you only saw Dr. Jekyll, you'd have no idea that there's Mr. Hyde. Well, they actually made a show recently with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde as doctors or something, and they were kind of too similar to you. It's like Erica has the same branding problem as the latest Jekyll and Hyde failure, but it is true. Bethany was right, but she's just so rude about it. And no one's going to listen to you when you open with you've got two fingers up your ass crack and showing you knuckle rings. Like, are you mad about the fingers of the cornhole or are you mad about the knuckle rings? I don't even what's your brand? What are you mad about? Like, what are you specifically? I think your brand is not having tact. That's what her brand is. Well, she's she's like being correct. It's like correct tacklessness. So then Erica stayed calm, which nobody's into. So she's like, all right, show me the video then show it to me. And then Bethany's eating while she's saying this, which I don't, it's not often we even see her eat, but she's eating with her mouth open and she's like, go at show me like so fucking rude. So they pull out some galaxy tab, which I don't even are they sponsoring this show? Because that seems weird on a Beverly Hills show. So they pull out this tab and why the production value is look cheap because she's watching some pixelated shit on the Samsung. Blame it on Samsung darling. They watch it and then she's looking at it way too intensely and Vanderpump starts mocking her. She's like, darling, this is not going to be a pop quiz after this, right? You know, I know study it. Yeah, and then, yeah, like, let's just look at the 60 sunflowers. I like by the way, I lean, I lean during all this time, you know, Eileen was hating us because she's, Eileen is very pro Erica. She's like, I think she's got a great life. You know, who wouldn't want to just have a whole other life where they could live a, live a fantasy? Step away from their own life and be another person. I'm like, Eileen, you're a soap star. You're doing it every single day. Well, notice how she ended that. She said, who wouldn't want to be someone else during the day and then you go home and your husband supports you? I mean, that's amazing. I think that was the point. Yeah, that was, that was the dream right there is the husband supporting you too. Your whole paycheck isn't taken by markers from the casinos. That's, that's amazing. That's a dream. Why are people saving her? She won. Yeah. So she does like her. And she says Bethany's being a total C word, which she is. Bethany, Bethany, so then Erica gives like a, oh, well, Erica has some funny remarks. She's like, I don't know anything about margaritas. I don't know how to make a margarita. I don't know, but I think that being skinny. Well, she makes. I don't think about being a girl. She makes Bethany do the dance moves with Erica's Bethany. It's like your production value is a bad. It starts slow and the blah, blah, Erica's still not mad. So she goes, yeah, but the backbeat doesn't even work until the other three girls come in. I mean, she's just being so mean at this point. It's like Isis. It's like this. It's like, why is it? Why are we talking about? Why is there Isis in here? Like what's going on? Like Bethany, no, you switched to a news tab. Why are there tabs? I don't get the phone. Why do you show the video on phones like this? Why is it not on YouTube? There's a reason a little shop of whores starts with the three girls. Okay. They make it interesting. What's the little shop of whores if the three girls come in like halfway through the movie? No, what's going to be there anymore? I'm going to be gone. Honestly, the shop wasn't that little. Okay. Why was it called like mid-sized shop of whores? Okay. Like why not? Why do you call it little? Because then I'm looking and I'm expecting to see like a little stand. Okay. Where you can't like three people. Okay. Like, but it's big. Okay. So like, I don't know. Is it big? Is it little? Like, I don't understand these things. It's strange to me. Like just on such like, kill me right now. Okay. Just put me into Audrey too and just eat me up. Okay. Because too much. Would it kill you to just call it flower shop? I mean, you know, I want to know what I'm buying. When I go in there, what am I going to ask for? Am I getting a new skateboard? What am I getting? A flower? How would I know? It's called whores, you know? We need to know what it is. Just flowers. Flowers. Flowers shop. Don't, no, no little, no little, no, no whores. There's actually, honestly, there's nothing really even horrifying about it. Okay. It's actually a pretty cool plant. Okay. So why don't you call it like little shop of cool plants or just flower shop? Just just flower shop. Okay. How about like four people and a flower shop? You know, my favorite movie, my favorite TV show of all time was three guys, a girl and a pizza shop. I know exactly what it was. Okay. Pizza shop. Why are you calling out Audrey number two? That's already in Audrey. Like why are you doing that? It's copyrighted. Why would you do what you want? I'm just saying you're two Audrey's. I mean, the two Audrey's, I don't know. Like, why would you have two Audrey's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like having two two Bethany's like, two skinny girls. Like you just can't do that. Like, it's like, it's like, what's the brand? What's the brand of Audrey two? It's just like, is it, is it Audrey? Is it Audrey? And then this is the Audrey. I don't get it. Like literally, like getting Mr. Mushnick, get him on the phone and tell him to fire someone. Is this supposed to be a small two? Is it Audrey squared? I mean, I don't know. I don't know. What is this map? What is this algebra? I don't want to see that in the musical. Stop making musicals. She's like, I did write little shop of cool. Like, why is there a dentist? So it's, it's, it's a movie. It's a movie about flower shop and then there's a dentist. Like, it doesn't make sense. Like, if you can have a dentist, like, it should be called little shop of, for little shop of hers and a dentist. Okay? Like, I don't get it. Okay. Erica's arguments back were really funny to me because she doesn't really have as many gay people as she hangs around. You know how we will say things, but we say it in a sassy voice, like sassy gay accent. So people like, oh, okay accent. She doesn't have the gay accent to make nonsense, nonsense work really. So she'll be like, wow, it will purposely did it where it started slow and then, you know, it looks like it's gonna be bad and then it's good and then, like, we did it on purpose. Like, that's the message is clear. Like, look at me. I'm not selling cookies here. Okay. And it was funny because Bethany got meaner and meaner. Rina leaves, Vanderpump's cracking up. It's so fucking awkward and this girl could have gone off on Bethany and ripped her a new one. But instead she's like, do you want to lay the dance move? And Bethany takes this as a challenge and loves to win a game. So she's like, sure, I could do it. I could do whatever you want. So she gets up and she, Erica's dance moves. She's like, add value squat and sit on the bed. She goes sit on the bed. She literally said that. Sit on the bed. Okay, now I'm gonna squeeze it up. Find line between like mommy and me exercises and dancing at a gay circuit party. She's lucky she's not having a baby because that thing would come out with like dust bunnies on its face because she's always squatting all the way down to the ground. So it hurts Bethany and she's like, see, it made look easy. It made look easy what I do, but it's not anybody could make a margarita. It was like, you go girl. So then Bethany tore her pants. So you know, Bethany's not going to eat for another three weeks. Just I see this what happened. I had a piece of lettuce tore my pants got too fat. Instant fat. My brain is dead. I think another main issue with Bethany is that her whole business is built around making women feel like they need to be skinnier. And Erica's whole business is making women realize that they don't need to be skinny. They can control everything with their fake tips and their badge. And that's very threatening for somebody like Bethany, you know, she's saying on one hand she's all about female empowerment. But what kind of empowerment is putting skinny in the title of all of your things and like running a diet empire and never eating. That's not really empowering. It's like people lose weight to get laid lady. Okay, the most offensive thing that Erica Jane ever did to Bethany was not put out a slutty music video. It's that she ate three bites of chocolate cake at the palm last week. That's the most offensive thing. And Bethany will never forgive her. Bethany will never forgive her for being cuter than the clip art she used from like the Mac art program for the 80s. If you look cuter than Alex McCourt's logo, I can't. So anyway, the next day, next day Lisa was doing yoga and then Eileen talks to her and says how she feels like she felt like really uncomfortable about Lisa Vanderpump's grilling at the top of the episode. And which is now like two or three nights later. Yeah, it's like it is actually like two and a half days later. So, you know, they talk about it and and basically Lisa's like, well, you shouldn't maybe just say something. It's like really small or whatever. And so and so then Eileen pulls Lisa aside when when Lisa comes over. And Eileen's like, listen, it's just something like just very small. Like it's probably nothing at all. But you know, like the other day when you were grilling me, it just it sounds like I felt like uncomfortable. And I I didn't know what to say. I'm just in front of people. And I don't know. But, you know, Eileen basically states her case. And Lisa I never would have asked you questions if I knew you were uncomfortable telling Lisa Vanderpump took a page from the Kyle Richards handbook of non apologies, which is like darling, no, you should have said something. You know, you're like, no, don't be ridiculous. No, that's really asking me anything. I'm an acting book. Like, oh, Lisa, like, you know, it's like, that's like the worst way to respond when someone's saying like, I felt uncomfortable about something. It's you're not supposed to respond with how you feel about it. Like, well, I wouldn't have done that. Or like, you should have told me like, you should be like, Oh, I'm sorry. I won't do that. But see, I think she literally did at one point say, I apologize if I asked you too many questions. If I ask you to please feel free to tell me because I just asked questions. I mean, you could ask anything of me. I thought I was getting to know you. I mean, you don't have to get to know me because I have another show on Bravo. So clearly you know about me that I have another show. But you, I don't know because you're in soups. And I'm just afraid I don't watch that dying genre. You don't have as many log lines and the TV guide listing styling. It's harder for me to get to know you. Do you understand? I mean, there's no magazines around here with your picture on them telling I can't just open a centerfold and read all about you and your dog preferences. Can I darling? So, you know, you know, I love Lisa Vanderpump. And I, I am a Lisa Vanderpump apologist. She can essentially do no wrong in my book. I have loved her for the past five or six years, however long she's been in our lives. I actually felt like this was one of the first times I felt like Lisa Vanderpump lost the argument. I think she lost the interaction. Like this wasn't, I think Eileen won that when Eileen said that it was like talking to her stone wall. I think Eileen was right. Well, I don't, I don't agree. But also I'm not an apologist for Lisa. I love her. But she's, when she's a bitch, she's a bitch. Like I think she was being a bitch in the earlier conversation with Eileen. Like I think she knew what she was doing. And I think she was being a bitch on purpose. This, like we're totally opposite on this. This one, I don't, I think first of all, when someone says, we need to sit down and have a private scene, Lisa knows what that means. And she's like, Oh God, what are these bitches coming after me for now, you know? So then when she hears what it is, that it's the questioning at dinner, she's like, Oh, okay. Well, sorry, I asked you so many questions. Like, just tell me not to like you're allowed to tell me to shut up, you know? I mean, it's how I said it. She's right on that front. She said, well, you should have said something or you should have changed. You know, she's right. But she seemed, she did not take any kind of accountability. Like what she didn't, it's not accountability. She didn't seem to like, at least show any sort of empathy for Eileen. Well, I don't think she owes her any. Because Eileen is saying, she said, okay, I apologize for asking you too many questions. Please tell me next time, because I won't do that if it's making you uncomfortable. So she already said that. And then Eileen is like, yeah, because like, I mean, it just made me uncomfortable the way you kept blah, blah, blah. And then Lisa iced over where she's just like, okay, bitch. And she just smiles politely like she's talking to an idiot. The way she does. Yeah, that condescending ice look that comes over her face. And she's like, I said, I was sorry. And now you're still coming at me with things that are silly. And you're not making a good argument, because Eileen's argument was dumb. It was just, Eileen didn't say, look, I did have an affair with my husband. It's awkward. I've got a family who watches this show. We've been together 12 years, and we're still working on it. And to have to talk about it on fucking TV or something. I know she can't say on TV, but to talk about it in front of a whole dinner party. Of course, it makes me feel uncomfortable. And if you're my friend, I need to be able to trust that you're not going to be bringing up weird things in public. Like, if you have those questions, ask me, like, if she had made some kind of argument, I could be with her. But she didn't. She just said, well, because, you know, like, you're asking me things, then, you know, I'm uncomfortable. I'm sorry. Oh, but then you're asking me things. I'm uncomfortable. It's like, shut the fuck up. And I feel like Lisa is looking at it like, listen, bitch, well, probably like, I'm looking at it, which, of course, is how I'm going to see it. I'm projecting my own opinions on the Vanderpump. But I'm looking at it like you did cheat. You just steal your husband. If you don't want to talk about it, tell me, but get over yourself. And Lisa also needs a good story. She's like, tell me about it. What's a juicy? How did it happen? How did you have an affair for so long? How did you finally get married? Like, those are questions I would want to ask. Maybe it's not at dinner table. But I don't know. I think it's just such another little tiny thing that Eileen is picking out that now there's going to be a fight with Lisa Vanderpump over this stupid little thing. Oh, that's not big enough for me. And he's something bigger. Yeah. Well, they always start in small places like this, and then the resentence build and build and snowball. And then all of a sudden, somebody is using your rivet. So I'm okay with it. I'm already riveting and I'm loving it. Yeah. So that's Beverly Hills. We can put that one to bed for today. Unless you have any last thoughts. I'm ready to bed going on. I'm going into bed right now. It's gone. Go asleep. Go asleep. Wow. What do you want to do now, man? Let's go to lunch. I know. Let's should we do newlyweds? Do we like how cleanser with newlyweds before we go on to Shashash? 'Cause newlyweds is pretty short with us since we don't do like huge crazy recaps of that. Well, since I don't take I don't even take notes for newlyweds. I just go for memory and I just, you know, keep it simple. It's like I'm actually looking forward to newlyweds now more than the others because I don't have to take notes because I mentioned to tell myself no notes, just watch, absorb, and whatever you retain, you'll talk about on the podcast. Well, this one is just watching the progression of these couples, which started on really where I could territory to begin with. And it's just not looking up. I don't think for any of them. Well, let's talk about the worst couple of them all, which I believe is Adonis and his like girl, whatever her name is. Adonis, like, uh, uh, uh, uh, really love you. She doesn't have a weird little baby boy. I'm looking far to, I'm looking far to come far. And every time, like, she's so, they're so awful. He is a ski. She has no personality to speak of. They go to Hawaii, a hula dance. He falls into the water when they're like paragliding or whatever. She's like, uh, blah, blah, blah. So, so awful. And then they like come back to reality. And she's like, she's like, Oh, when I did this photo, I'll be when you're, uh, and then she's like, she's so stupid. And then he calls his dad, I was like, yeah, I can't, I can't see you anymore, because you're a bad infant. I'm like, don't cut out your father. And then I'm going to make a weird between the dad and her. Just handle your shit. But of course it does, uh, go to demonstrate how much the father, uh, respects women. Cause that's the issue with the wife. She's like, he doesn't respect a little bit. Your husband just told you he banged 14 hookers in Brazil, lady. And she's blaming the dad. And, uh, the dad says, you're going to ignore your father for your woman, which I thought was hilarious because yeah, in marriages, that's the new family. So, they come over you dad, like it's pretty standard. But also I can't feel sorry for a girl who marries at honest period, especially after that, then get spaghetti and chicken at her wedding. That's so tacky. Then acts like she's so morally superior to everybody. When she's marrying someone who just banged 14 fucking hookers, get over yourself lady. You cannot blame the, uh, the, uh, father. And when she's like, I'm not, I know everyone thinks we had a picture perfect mat wedding. I'm like, I don't think anyone thought so. You had like folding chairs, like on the edge of a pond, it's some like, crappy, like, housing community and female like, no one thought that was picture perfect. Yeah. But Olive Garden wouldn't even call that picture perfect. Okay. And it was spaghetti. It was just picture. It was just picture. It was a picture. Definitely not picture perfect. Certainly no Jennifer Anafen movie from the 90s. At one point, that was a good movie. At one point, she, um, they're doing their couple interview or whatever, the couple talking heads. And he says, yeah, she thought I was Prince Charming. She says, I never thought you were Prince Charming. It's just that I want you to be Prince Charming. And I can help you be Prince Charming. No, girl. Do they not have any talk radio where you grow up? You need to listen to some talk to Laura. And she's the most evil satanic woman on earth. But yeah, do not marry a man for what he could possibly be one day. No, you marry a man for what he is lady too late. I know, but still the most you can do is at least get him some electronic clipper so he can shave that shit off his face because it looks terrible. That's a good step in the right direction. But after that, you're on your own. Like, man, I'm still walking around with a goatee. You have zero control over the situation. Run girl. Yeah, I get those every time they come on screen. I actually instantly think they are too the worst people on Bravo. And they are definitely front runners for this year's crappies for the worst. Well, hopefully we'll have forgotten them by then because we probably will have we probably will have they infuriate me. Okay, so the next one is also an infuriating one because I love to concentrate on the negative. And that is the Persian princess moron who throws her fake Kyle fits to get attention. And it's now her husband because she wasted thousands of dollars on a three week trip to Italy that she refused to take. She was afraid of things. Now, now her husband is a full on asshole and he's a control freak and he's scary. And yet he's she's making us take his side. Okay, that really bothers me. Second of all, here's a superficial thing. I hate that she's like 24 and she has mom here. I hate that she puts on so much makeup. Like, girl, what are you doing to yourself? You're making yourself look so old. Don't do that. Third of all, I thought it was hilarious that the producers went out of their way to include every single time she said thank you during the show because every time she said thank you, she went, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thanks. Thank you. I hate that we had a sequence of her having some retail therapy. And now I know retail therapy can be really fun for everyone. But you know, these shows really do go a long way to bolster the idea that women do nothing but shop and like they're on their, their husband's bank accounts and they just spend money. I mean, happen on Cheshire, you know, Tanya talks about this. She's like, well, you know, I just bought, I racked up 14,000 dollars on this credit card. You know, it's like, it's really terrible. If you think about it, if you really think about it, this like perpetual image of these women, rack spending $2,000 here, $14,000 there on their husband's credit card really reinforces so many old-fashioned notions of womanhood and being a wife and husbands, it actually really bothers me. Oh, well, that's why I mean, that's the real housewives thing forever. They like to take women's rights back 5,000 years now. I hit a tipping point. I hit a tipping point. The thing that's worse about this is it's not a real housewives. So on those shows, they're so cartoonish about it, like, oh, these rich women married to rich men spending men's money in. It's this like, I don't know, anti-feminist dream or something. But this one, she's partners with her husband. She's also a real estate person. Isn't she or did she quit her job? Yeah, she is. But she has now, her now she does real estate part-time and the check that she used to get from her husband has slowly dwindled to the point where actually she doesn't even get paid anymore. So you really can see how manipulative and controlling he is. It's actually, if it weren't so scary, it would be funny. But why isn't she working there, raising kids? What's she doing? Shopping? Get out of here. No, she can't, you probably can't go into most stores because anxiety of like, automatic doors. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's too stressful. I wonder where all this stress and fear suddenly came from that he didn't know that they could never travel and she had this great fear. Get out of here. I'm not buying that at all. And then when she's talking to her sister in the store, spending money she's not making, I didn't know that. Now that makes me mad because I didn't like she met him at a real estate conference and they were both people with careers. And then she quit her job because she found an older rich man. Get out of here. Yeah, exactly. I mean, while her mom was married at nine, we'd like to add that you just do that in there. Like, yeah, my mom's first marriage didn't work out. Like she was married when she was nine. I'm like, okay, so now things are starting to make sense of why there's a history of craziness in your family. The poor woman was traumatized. Well, I mean, unless the husband was mine too or eight. I mean, you never know, but I have a feeling that was not the case. And the sister is saying, well, I understand the airline fear because, you know, being Middle Eastern women is really hard and we're raised with a lot of stress. And then I can guarantee you there is no woman in the Middle East with a fear like that of flying. There are probably women like that. That is such a first world problem. Like your family may be from the Middle East, but you are both first world bitches. So please stop with your fake diseases. You know, it's like the chronic line. How many people in third world countries have that? That is totally a first world disease. Stop it. Yeah, you know, I believe that as American women who are, you know, born into Middle Eastern families, I do believe they probably take on certain things just as there's like all these, you know, like, when you're Jewish, you take on like Jewish guilt and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, but fear of flying. I'm sorry is not one of them. That's just on you. You're just crazy and you should be in therapy by now. Yeah, there are number 11 happened a long time ago. So when you say you're crazy about flying heaven back then, that's great. But like it's an like immersion therapy or exposure therapy or whatever they call it, you know, get away from a Middle Eastern family. There are a lot of cultural differences and stuff like that, especially like the woman is, you know, the submissive woman, this and that, and I'm talking like newbies to the country, not people, first, second generation, we change pretty quickly, just like every other, you know, culture that comes to America does. But I don't like that they start using that all the sudden when she's just basically done the Middle Eastern thing anyway, she's taken the stereotype. She's left one controlling Middle Eastern husband, which is what she insinuated in the first episode. We've never met him, but she left one. And then she just met, she married an older controlling American husband. What's the difference? The race? Like, I don't, I don't get it. But if there's any patterns that you worry about, it's not flight patterns, bitch, get to a shrink. Yeah. Yeah. Well, then we also have which couple do you want to do next? These are the couple that we like, right? Yeah, I think we're out. Well, there's that like younger, fighty couple and the girl who dreams of being a fashion blogger and like, instead of a dead end job, like fashion merchandising or something, which is actually not a dead end job, being a fashion blogger, I think is more of a dead end job. Yeah. I don't know. I'm not. Yeah. I think being a fashion blogger, I think, I think the moment for start launching a fashion blog successfully has probably ended like that ones that are become successful are now successful. And you know, there's a window for when these things take off. It's like, you know, TV-gasm, when we launched TV-gasm, it was hugely wonderful. And then when I started beside blog, I was like, well, I'm going to pick up where I left off with TV-gasm with my TV-recapping. I was like, nope, the market was saturated. Yeah. It's a totally different world now. And especially when it's a blog about just taking pictures of yourself in clothes. That's not, I don't know, a fashion magazine, people are always going to be into fashion magazines, but I don't know anybody that needs to see you in hundreds of pictures in your new boots. That's just weird. And it's also not going to pay the rent in New York. So yeah, dream bigger. Yeah, that being said, those two are really cute and they're really attractive. And I really enjoy them. And I think the husband is, I like the husband. He's so hot. He's like, hot, cute, hot, cute. They're obnoxious to me. I don't, they're just that couple that's always fighting. Oh, I like this. I don't mind their fight. I mean, calls her bro. Bro, I don't like their fake fights. I don't like when they do their fake fights like, how do you open this? How do you open this? Well, it's like for camera, but I think they're just so attractive. They're both so attractive to me that I've given them a pass, especially after like enduring scenes of Adonis and Lady Adonis. I'm like, oh, thank God, attractive people who are not not as annoying. So I find them to be annoying because he talks about his brand and then she talks about her blog and then they fight. And that's a dumb to me. Like couples who fight like that, they're all so funny. And then, but it's just part of us. We're like bickering. We're the bickersons. Ha ha ha. And then it's like, you know, stabbing each other, you know, that stuff. It gets out of control. I don't know. It seems unhealthy. I don't like it. But I mean, I don't have hate or anything for them. I'm just like, whenever they come on, I'm like, all right, clear them. Okay, who's the other the gays gays? Oh, the gays. This was so hilarious. So they're going to donate their sperm to Greg's sperm sperm, specifically. Oh, yeah, they can't put both a sperm in the egg because it'll be fighting over like who's not keeping the egg clean. Yeah, I was like, one sperm is going to be making tea for the other sperm. Honey, you left a banana peel and the egg. One sperm was holding hands with the other sperm, but the other sperm feels uncomfortable about it. But no, no, because it was Brandon's sister who was getting artificially inseminated. So of course, the sperm couldn't be in there, but that's they were going to put inseminate her lady parts with Craig's lady parts. And so it was basically like a full episode of them talking about how Craig was going to masturbate. And then finally, Craig does masturbate. And then they bring the semen over to Brandon or Brendan's sister who's like, lying on a bed, like, and unfortunately, at the end of the day, the sperm did not take the scene where they're trying to masturbate in the bedroom and the cameras like under the door. Yeah, under the door. What do you the bottom of the door on me? I don't even know what you call that, just based on the bottom of the door. It's just like they're on the floor of the camera and you're here, they're talking. And he's like, honey, okay, let's do it. And he's like, oh, I can't, honey, are you on the phone? I'm trying to masturbate. And he's like, sorry, but I got a call. I need to text my sister. You don't need to text your sister. Okay, look, you're not going to text again. And because it hurts my mood. Okay, we're not going to hurt my mood anymore. Okay, God, this is like the whitest masturbation session I've ever heard in my life. I was laughing so hard at that. I'm trying to masturbate. So like a lot of couples are going to have to fill that turkey base to back up and keep trying to try again. Keep putting that turkey in the oven until it's right. You know, it takes a lot of practice, y'all. Yeah, so unfortunately for her for the lady lesbian sister did not take no baby yet. And so what's the other couple? Are we done with the couples? We're done with the couples because the rest of the storyline with the gays is just like, honey, let's have a baby. Let's have twins. Let's have both. Let's have two, honey. Let's have two. Let's have two twins. There's lots of tea. This experience has made me want to have babies. It's like really you wind and masturbate it. How did that make you want to have babies? You were the baby in this scene. You were a masturbating big big hairy masturbating baby. What about this made you want to have a baby? Okay, it's not as easy about crying during masturbation and then sticking a giant turkey tube up a lesbian's vagina. Okay, it prepared requires more. I mean, I would assume. Okay, let's move on to the real hair swabs of shisha. I'm writing 153 for the timestamp. So the real housewives of shisha. The gambling episode. The gambling episode. Okay, so wow, where to begin? So the episode begins with Macaulay. It's going to Dubai. And so before she leaves, Cruella de Vil pays her a visit. Obviously, it's just like this white furry mess showing up at her door. And it's Empeaker. Empeaker. Magali, I don't know if somebody has come in and told Macaulay how amazing her movements are or if Macaulay's just gotten more comfortable. But Macaulay is doing full on time steps now during her. She's like waving her hands back and forth like she's doing choreography. But they're not really making sense with what she's saying. Like she's saying, Oh, I'm really excited. I'm going to. Oh, she hasn't talked like I'm doing petty floor. She's like, I'm really excited. I'm going to Dubai. You know, it's going to be great. But her hands are waving like done, done, done, done, done. There's hands. So good. You know, sometimes my hands are like, Oh, no, just hands. One thing there are always spirit finger. And so Empeaker comes by and she's like, Oh, I think to myself, what am Pika doing at my house? So I say, okay, Empeaker, what you doing at my house? Whoa, whoa. It's like polar bear coming to my house and Empeaker comes and I'm like, and I'm like, don't, don't, don't, don't, and probably be like, whoa, like whoa, polar bear. Don't eat polar bear. Okay, so I may change. So I'll just wanted to go about to say good boy to you. So you'd have a foot top debought. And also, I knew you couldn't get all the play with that here about like a roasted I'm like, Oh, geez, it's been in a full wake for me. I've lost my eggs and my arms. What did that mean? Do you know what that means? I have no idea. I don't know what Empeaker means half the time, but basically, she lost her gaze. And now she needs someone else to vent to so the closest thing to a gay man she can find is a Macauley. She goes, it's times like that one crosses hearts that you're there to find like a Macauley. But she took a lot less than the date of a voice without always made to blow it up. Tons are used for crosshats. And it's always been a horrible wake for back. It's been the animal song shower. The the vulture work called me back. It's been an awful way that vulture took a talk out of my boots and didn't even call me back the next day. I went on to okvulture.com and we didn't match up. And I'm like, well, I thought we had a future together vulture. Ancestry.com. Okay vulture.com. First, it was awful for me, because Dolders be grated with babies and then back dad died and they'd let my naked raw stares like I've lost my eggs and bolts. It's like I'm a snake and then I shed my skin and then I'm like, where's the skin? You know, I don't want the skin anymore because I'm like a snake. I'm going to eat your skin and go and put my skin on my and I'm going to take a shit off of it on the rock. She starts talking about my mystery bad. It's hard because being back side of earth, even though we're not bad animals coming up. But you know, they bark, it's so close. If we're getting close again, but they'd have got the mystery bad. And so what do I do with the mystery bad of edifice for data? And my colleague goes, no, no, no, no. I don't even know what she talked about. No, one day Miss Simon. One day Mac Mac. What? What's going on in her head? But she, the hand motion she makes, she puts her two index fingers together above her head and then makes a big square. She goes, what is going on in her head? I'm like, how does that make sense? But you're saying it's hilarious to me. I make shape. I make shape. Whoa. And don't don't tough, tough, tough, tough, tough, don't tough. And then Pika tough, tough, tough. And they fight and they fight. And then you think, Oh, why are you friend? You know, but they're using each other because it's the kind of people they are, you know, they both use each other. And I thought that was very wise of her to say like, they're just using each other for scenes. The end. Well, McGolly's the smart thing about it, you know, McGolly, I feel like McGolly and Lauren are the smartest of them all. Like they actually seem to understand people the best. But they're the ones who of course are on the outside of this circle. There was one point where they were talking and Pika's going on and on about her own fucking problem, her own quote unquote problems. Like the woman has zero problems. Okay, if we really listen, but she's always bitching and complaining and trying to make this trauma. And McGolly's listening to her. And I don't think she, this one, I don't think she knew what she was doing because it actually made sense with the scene. She was plugging her nose like she was holding her nose closed, like she was about to go under water like a little kid. She was holding her nose closed. I thought, well, that's the most honest expression you've ever made, darling. I know. So then Leanne and Tanya go shopping. And I left immediately because the scene opens with Leanne doing her best job in personation. And I recorded it. This is Leanne talking. What did you say? I literally have no idea. I really will stop by. I still don't even know what she's saying at the beginning when she's like a bad footballer. It's really hot. It's really quiet. Something that's really hot. Wow. So they're shopping for doing nothing as usual on the show because no one does anything on this show. And they're shopping and Tanya and I don't even know what they're talking about, but at one point Leanne uses the word insipid and I'm just like insipid. I don't even know what that means. What insipid? I mean, what sort of word is that? I'm like, hashtag public school, Tanya. Public school in Tanya. She's like, that loads, loads, loads, new words, he's shesha. Like learning lots of things. Like the word like walk. I didn't know that word. How do you walk somewhere? I always thought it was how do you move? How do you feet, feet move? Feet move. That's what I'd say. I'm gonna go feet move over there. But now there's a word for it called walk. But I don't even think Leanne knows what insipid means because she's holding up up. She holds up a 90 to herself. And she goes, what do you think of this? Does this look insipid on my skin? Yeah. It doesn't insipid mean stupid, like incredibly stupid. She's like, I want to have another baby because I love feeding them with an insipid cup. And Tanya was like, well insipid. And she said, it's like, you know, draining. It's like something that's draining you. You know, like you ever have a tortilla? It's like insipid. That's where, you know, put a tortilla with the avocado. They call that insipid. I think I don't know. I actually, I don't know. When you're done. I married a footballer. When you're done taking a bath, you need to insipid the drain so the water can come out. You understand there. It's like, whoa, it's a bath. Next on the logic of both, I would be looking for insipid things. That's for sure. And of course, Leanne, trying on all this underwear makes me think a bedroom activity, which makes me think a dawn, having a baby. Oh, Lord, the dawn's having a baby. Guess what? I want to have a baby now, too. You were such a follower. She is such the quintessential sidekick. She's so wrapped up and dawn won't have the baby. I mean, these women literally have nothing to do except like put all their attention onto a baby. That's why they want babies so badly, because once they grow up, they've got nothing else to do. So they just keep on churning out the babies so that what they could do. They don't have to focus on their own boring insipid lives. Darling, don't you have YMCA's over there? And then get a hobby. You know, they've got classes you can take, you know, learn to swim. Take a word class, darling. So then Dawn goes and has like tea or does something with her parents, I believe, and her daughter Taylor. And Dawn, who thinks every single thing she does is the most important thing ever. She's like, I have a big announcement to make. I took my ship this morning, and it was great. And everyone's like, oh, great. Like, actually, I thought that people took that. I thought people would be more excited for me. I mean, how rude, how rude. I've been so excited to tell people about the shit I've been about to take. No one even cares. I guess it's just me, all Dawn over here feeling happy by herself again, you know, I mean, I'm done with cracking me up in this. First of all, she's making all these faces like there's really bad traffic that's pissing her off. There's no one on the road. Like, I don't even understand what this woman's talking about half the time. So she's driving and she goes, Oh, me, Dr. Taylor, you know, she's over there at me, mom and dad's, because she said she's had a back surgery now says, you know, she's got to be at mom and dad's house, which makes no sense. Why wouldn't she be at your house unless she hates you, which she kind of hints to you a few times. And then she goes, Oh, mom and dad are great. They own doggy dog kennels. They named dog kennels after Dobby. That is so rude. It's so rude. It's fully dullness and not to keep your toe piece. Or the dogs or it's a very quiet kennel. All the dogs are like, whenever a criminal tries to break in, they're like, like be careful. God, Dobby Dog on duty, which is basically the same as please enter. It's a good overman picture. It was like, Oh, and Taylor, Taylor, why am I calling you that? Dawn says, I've got butterflies on my stomach about to see Taylor, because Taylor's like a mom, you know, she just says, she just says what's on the mind. She's got something in the mind. It just slips that, you know, that's why she's at mom and dad's like, uh, so basically your daughter hates your cats. Taylor, Taylor, she's like, listen up, everybody. Here's what the plan is. I've talked to Ashla and we've decided to have more furniture. They're like, what? I'm in babies. More babies. We've decided to have more babies. Taylor goes, what the fuck another baby? You've got four babies. How many babies do you need, mom? And there she goes. Look at that math on her telling me exactly what's on her mind. I'm scared of a mom and other baby. Oh, she's horrible. Taylor's horrible. It's so funny to me. I know. And Taylor's like, she's basically like, mom, you like, you nearly died when you had the last one. So why are you doing this again? You know, why? Well, I'm a bit gutted actually. I can't believe it. I'm a bit gutted. I can't believe that no one's excited for me. It seems that the only one who's excited for me is Ashla. Like, Ashla is not excited. The only reason Ashla keeps smiling like that at you is that he knows he gets to have lots of sex with you for no reason. And he's had his tubes tied. Yeah, you know, he would not be smiling like that otherwise. No, exactly. Then we go to Pika, I just have to say one last thing. Dad, because I just found this in the bottom of the notes, the dad, everyone's so upset. But even your dad's happy. He told me, well, let's pull at some more stuff. I don't know why that was funny to me, except I thought they haven't heard of by Agra in this town. Please tell me that people are still not sucking on oysters trying to get boners. It's called by Agra Sesha. You're welcome. So now, um, and Pika, uh, it's her anniversary. Not Mark. Remember what voice she is? Mark, Mark, I've got the code that it's a local rules. So I got a set where I got onto a farm because, uh, we like to go to farms with animals. So it was basically like her yapping away while we just looked at the cows. Like, look at the cows. Look at Mac Mac. Look at the cows. Look at my mystery. Cuz the only place they can shoot are like hotel rooms they rent or places with animals. Like, we can't get yelled at for shooting the place. Barnables. Animals don't have to solve release forms. Um, so she's over there because she wants to stay close to back mom. Um, he was, you know, like 170 or whatever. And she says, it's really pulled to bed. Even though I left back that we keep the family together. And I think it's really important for him to still see his grab a like, uh, you left his father when he was a baby. This is your way of making it up to him having to spend time with some old lady in a barn. No lady, you fucked up. Stop trying to make it a perfect situation. But she she's trying to she's like, we didn't we didn't always get a long main vera of whatever name was the mom. She's like, we didn't always get along. Did we had to I had some roles with that. The way I used to fight. Oh, y'all thought that was good. But now good I put back back back back and dinner with Paul and Lauren. Okay, we're not in a barn and we're not in a hotel room. So we must be in someone's car and it's Paul and Lauren's. Oh, yeah. So they go to dinner. I like Paul because Paul is the only one who seems to be having some fun. You know, anytime any of these women say, well, Paul and Lauren, you know, they're just laughing. They're having a good time. But so many of the women on the show are so serious about all the stupid minutiae in their life. So Paul just like laughs at them. So they go out to dinner to this. Paul and Lauren go to dinner, um, this anniversary dinner with Ampeca and Mark and, um, and Pika like her big announcement. And she's like, uh, huh. Oh, no, it's meant to make my gut you got us a holiday to the Africa and so Paul like makes a joke about it or whatever. And I'm because like, I can't believe that while I'm announcing the holiday, that my that Paul would make fun of make a joke right now. Paul Mack Mack didn't even have a chance to say. Thank you. Paul was making jokes in that time. He's raining on the South African parades with Bach, just so he could be a joke. Start a climb. But Paul had a good part. Paul was funny. She goes, I'm going to take back on a robotic holiday. And he goes, why would you do that? You're not even married. Which is like, but it's a we do it every anniversary. It's going to be for three weeks. He goes, three weeks. Mack's got a job. Did you even look at his diary? Who would make a trip for someone for three weeks without even asking a chicken at the diary? Which is a good point. But of course, it's Ampeca. So she's like, his diaries is Ampeca. Ampeca Ampeca Ampeca. Oh, what a Reddit there is. Yeah. Well, I like he's like, he's like, he's like, let me get this straight. So you are, you're married. You're going down to South Africa and you're going to put your ex husband into a cage with sharks. I have some questions about this. And I'm because I was not appropriate to smack a jake about my ball. Can't even get a thank you for Mark. And then Lauren, Lauren at one point and said, I haven't been to dinner with Ampeca in over 10 years. So let's see how it goes. But Mack said a rough time. So it'll be good for him to spend some time with me and Paul. It'll be good for his soul. But when has anybody described time with you and Paul as good for the soul? I don't think ever, except you right now. But this dinner was really cute. And they're all basically rooting for Mark and Ampeca to get together again. And Lauren flat out says, Well, don't you just get mad to him again? You're old to chate in with Mr. Amanda cares. And Ampeca, she goes, Mark, you're not going to find anyone who looks like Ampeca. Oh, yeah. No, thank God. No one has, you know, on your sanders in their home. And because like, look at that, barca, go to fall to blood as hot as bag, and look at that, look at that. The one of the bottom of my marks like, yeah, I, I haven't been able to, to commit to any other women because every time I have sex with them, I just have Ampeca's face in my eyes and it ruins everything. Nothing, nothing kills a bone or not. Ampeca's face. My right. I've got what you're, I've got what you'd call ampequedile dysfunction. And then I'll take a mercy. Mark is fussy. That's the problem. I think my mark is rather bussy. Oh, that's coming up later. I think, okay, so surprise blah, blah, blah. I didn't get to thank you. Oh, whatever. Who cares? I did even thank, I did even get thank you. Well, for back because polls pay the joke. Shut up, Ampeca. You know, you charge that entire dinner to Mac. So please be quiet. You thank him. So Leanne and Don in the closet. So that this is funny to me. So, so Don and Leanne just like hanging out. Don is actually in like a casual jumpsuit, which is a first and her gaze come over because Leanne's there too. And they're gonna have like, they're gonna sit on the bed and have like a girly like gossip sesh. This is what I love about these British Cheshire gays. This is the gossip sesh on the bed. They're like one of them's like in a blazer. No, there's in slacks. That's the difference between British gays and American gays. Do you have anything we could sit straight up against that there? All right. I'll just lean awkwardly of this piece of furniture laying down with like one leg thrown over or whatever. And of course, the gays are uncomfortable in this bed. So they get straight to it. They're like, no, I'll add a pickers better towards you. And Don, I'll go understand why that would be ugly as ampeaker so noss to my face. And then she's talking behind my back. I've got to get to the bottom of it. Like when has she not said this shit to your face? Every time she's seen you, she's screamed at you for 20 minutes. What are you not hearing lady? I know. She's quite a hard girl. You know, I think the problem with the speaker, she's a hard girl. She's a hard girl. And you know, she said that you riled her up and you got all riled up. And one of them goes, well, not that's a law. You know, you know, who loves hard girls like. And then the other one goes, obviously, she doesn't want to be our friend. Well, in the other way, she always said it to me because she knew I'd come straight back to you. And she doesn't have the nerve to tell you to your face. And then tosses. Don't play by the way, don't blame her for you being a terrible friend. Like, what can I say? She knew I was a terrible person. I'm gonna tell everything that she tells me in confidence to you. What can I say to her thoughts? Also, she did say all this shit to Don's face multiple times. These people are crazy. I mean, Don, if I had to pick him with the truth between and pick her in dorm, I mean, normally it would be the gays. But now I don't even know who's lying. They're all lying. Okay, you're all stupid. This is the dumbest fight I've ever seen. And the answer's sitting there like, who should I yell at? Oh, yeah. She's like, I don't like to get involved. But I have to get involved because I have nothing else to do because I don't have another baby. Maybe I should have a bit. I want my baby to be involved in this. If I get more unfolding your business, maybe I'll get practice. So dinner, we're back at dinner blah, blah, blah. I think we've already talked about all this. Yeah, and because like, I'm relaxed. Mark is relaxed. And then all of a sudden, pull us the classroom. I'm like, Oh God. And Paul's like, won't you get together? Which is what you're talking about before. But yeah, it's funny that she's like, she was, I was so relaxed. I just finally got over the fact that the holiday surprise I've been ruined by Paul's jokes. So that way, Mark couldn't give me a thank you if I only get over that. I finally relaxed. And then Paul asked the question. And then a bread basket came. I'm like, how can a bread basket come right now? The bread basket has never even come to my salon. I don't know if I got a thank you from Mark before the bread was delivered. Lauren is hilarious. People will not let shit go on this show. And it cracks me up. Lauren's like, you should get mad again because there's old ladies in this group trying to make babies. And then there's younger people who could use another baby, like Ampeaker. I'm like, I'm like, I'm sweater. I'm sweater. When is sweater going to freeze her eggs? Never. She doesn't want a frozen pizza coming out of a little rabbit, John. What in what world is Ampeaker, a younger girl wanting a baby? You guys get the fucking compared to Don? Is she though? How can you tell Ampeaker looks like she has the waxy straight fate? Like she looks like a street ramp to me. I don't even understand how that's a faith. When she moves, I stare at her lips to see how she's even talking. The woman can't move. She's polished herself like a damn bowling ball. And I've polished plenty of them to know. Well, Ampeaker is definitely younger than some of the other ladies. That's for sure. Are you still there, Ronnie? I am. I'm listening to you guys. I had no ending. Oh, no, no, I just had no ending for that. I'm just, I'm thinking of Ampeaker's face and what else it looks like and why it has an age. While you think while you think about that, we can then go over to the horse company, the equestrian center, where Darby is getting ready to go show some horses. And what I'd love about this was that so Darby is on a horse and she's doing, I don't know if it's dressage, but I'm jumping over little gates and stuff. And Don and Ashla are watching from the sidelines and Don is just losing her shit. She's the total little league mom, except with horses. She's like, that's a good counter Darby. Darby, Darby, get your counter faster. Darby the slow, too slow counter Darby. Darby, Darby, Darby, slow counter Darby, fast counter Darby. Good girl. Look at Darby. I love my kids. You know why? Because they were all winners. I love winners. And look at Darby. She's going to wait. Oh, she's not going to wait. Darby. What are you doing? Darby. She's going to play better. And then she yells, which totally everybody turns and looks at her because you're at a fucking horse competition lady. And Darby's on mortified. And Darby's like, the reason I yelled is because I thought you were going to Christopher Reeve or something. You were fine. So here, here's what I think about your trip. All right. You could have been better on the horse. His bass was low and he clipped the bar. Didn't he clip the bar with Darby? Oh my gosh. I mean, did you notice why did they cut away every time the horse is about to jump? They would cut away as it was like we never got to see how the jump went. They always made it seem like every time it jumped, that was going to knock over a bar. But we never got to see it. Was there some sort of like rights like in England? You're not allowed to show a full horse jump, unless you're going to like speak nicely about it? I think the producers. You can't simulate a horse's name with his bad kanta. Since it's season one in a new place, I think the producers were like, look, this show might be horrible to watch and totally boring. And we might have to kill off Dobby. So just every time she does something dangerous, cut away in case we have to kill her off later. Yeah. A housewife would go along with that. And then Dobby died. Thank you. No, she didn't. She's still on the couch behind it. She's dead. Dobby's dead. She can't touch you slowly. I'm trying to freeze my eggs so I can have another little Dobby. This time Dobby's never going to skip a horse episode. So then the episode draws to a conclusion at like a random casino that looked like it was like in the back of a holiday in where the ladies minus dawn all get all together. And oh, and also there was no McGolly because as Lauren said, my car is in Dubai. And no dawn. Have you ever gone to Dubai? Dubai. I lived in Dubai. Never in Dubai. Oh, wish that we could move to Dubai instead of Phoenix. There's oh, no. In Dubai. They don't make people sew things together for no reason. Well, the husbands are making money. This is good. Sorry, goodbye. They need a real house was to Dubai, by the way, because that would be amazing. Just just the laws that they could break in one episode. So okay, all this weird drama, it's not really weird because it's like the same drama ever, but all this drama that's being started. Everyone's faking everything. Tonya's like, I don't know how to add is 14. Is that 21 or whatever? Like she's trying to play 20 or public school education. And I'm proud of it. I can't even add simple numbers together. Isn't that funny? No one's going to private school for my childhood. And then, of course, Leanne is so supportive. She's like, I used to date a man named Black Jack. I wondered if he could get me pregnant quicker. So they're playing Black Jack and then Aaron Peaker comes up for kind of no reason to Leanne. She's like, all right, then look, then, here's how I'm feeling with you. I'll lock you a lot. I think you're a great girl. I've got nothing but love for you. Deep in my soul. But here's what I'm sick of. The weather, you always stick it up for dawn. You're like a Hoover vacuum, vacuum it up with shit. Every time I turn the rad, you're vacuum it up because stop calling your Hoover because all I hear is. And then Leanne, she goes, she goes, and Peaker decides to, there's no other way to use, insults me. Oh my gosh, he said insults. I can't believe it. I've already used insipid. So he gone down the dictionary. And then and bigger and bigger is just like her insults are so bizarre, when she's like, while you're hoovering, I'm saying decent. I'm like, what? You're indecent while she's hoovering. I'm a decent. You know what I'm gonna call you? A washing lawn because you're like a washing lawn, but you're hoovering at the same time, but I want you to, while you're hoovering the rug instead, you're not hoovering the hallway. That's what I gotta say. There's a hallway dirty hallway, but you're in the rug. What's going on with that? They add into the best kitchen appliance ever. It's like a vacuum clothesline like window washer. Like dehydrator. Like here's what I want you to do, Ian. I want to set you and forget you. All right. I want you to be dishwasher safe. Don't be bad in a dishwasher. Can't go in the microwave. You might explode. Get that metal out. I like most of you brought white, but you've got a little spot on you. I'd love to rub something on that and just that part, but in the washing machine to have the color stay the same. Do you mean in sip it's staying, reliever? That's what I mean. You heard me. You know what you're like? You're like a new appliance that you tried to turn on immediately, but you didn't try it about area first, so you ruined your appliance. That's what you did there. And Ian's like, "What are you talking about? I don't understand." You're like a kitchen aide mixer going, "Ride, and ride, and ride, and every time I try and taste the day, you say no, that there's for don't. It's a don't cook. And I say, "I'm hanging all the lawn. You're goddamn hoover." You know what you are, and show you an electronic, electronic kitchen scale, and you put a ball on it, but you've got to sit it to zero. So now all your scales are all messed up. That's what you are now. Well, she's telling Leanne off for being Don Don's lap dog, which is so hilarious. I mean, it's true. But then she's yelling at her, so she'll be her lap dog. And she even says at one point, which you alluded to earlier, but she even says, "You know, there you all hoover, vacuuming it up. You know, she's telling you to vacuum the dawned room, and I'm telling you to vacuum the whole way, and you vacuum in the dawned room." Like, you understand that you're the other person controlling the hoover, right? You're just mad that the hoover is not vacuuming the section of the house you want. You are such a bitch, lady. Jesus Christ, back down there. And of course, Leanne's typical fight, "You know what the eh, oh, oh, no, I didn't know. I'm not a hoover. At least make me a Toss and bowl." This is the first time I was actually on Leanne on "I Never Fights." Because, I mean, I mean, Ampeaker is right, but Ampeaker was so crazy. And then I was like, "What? I don't know. Ampeaker, stop it. You're not making any sense." Ampeaker's like, "Well, I bought the plug-in, and I wanted to stick vacuum, but you're a lot a wet vac, and I did it." I feel like I went trapped in this relationship this way, to be edited, to be in... You got to clean out your bag. You got to clean out your bag, and your vacuum clean out. You haven't done that yet, have you, Leanne? "I don't know. I'm in the bagless vacuum." Bagless? Yeah, right, that'll be the day that Nick and Morgan sincerely on that crap. The nose, I should think of the bagless vacuum, and the other one, who's like, "I'm in the bag, and you're vacuuming the dust, and the filter's dirty." And then, of course, dawns a room button, just going round and round, always the cleanest, always winning, aimless, cleaning little machine every once and once to own, but can't afford it in that right? "But what would I never be doing with the room bag?" "Well, I got bad news for you loud, because I like to bust your dust, because I'm a dust buster, but I'm in your hand, I'm just a ball of dust." Listen up here, this relationship could be solved by a few news-swiffers with the pads. The trouble is that Dawn has already apologized seriously five times to Ampeca. She said, "I'm sorry that I'm rude. I'm sorry I'm controlling. I'm sorry that I talk too much. Can we be friends?" "All right then, we could be friends. Don't cold and left me a message, and it was real nice. Let's be fair. Let's stay and left it real nice, and then look at her, look at her doing nothing between then and now. Uh, Dawn, I'm going to kill her." She didn't do anything. "To be fair," Ampeca has also said very benign thing to Dawn, and Dawn will be like, "I can't believe we should say that, especially when I'm thinking about getting me hysterectomy. Why would she say that? How rude? How rude." So, they're both just, like, they're both idiots. But, Jesus, at least have a new fight because this one has been solved for five episodes, and you guys keep going back. It's like, "Let's just keep calling the gay guys back to start it all over again." They didn't tell either one of you something that you hadn't already been fighting about for a month, ladies, okay? Yeah. But next week, the Hoover hits the fam. The Hoover shit gets sucked up into the fine, you know what I mean? Nope. I didn't know what you mean, and so you really come back and comes into the max. Hard words, flaws. So, everyone, thank you so much for listening to the podcast. Remember to subscribe to us on iTunes. Come to our Facebook page, facebook.com/watchworkrapins, come to our website, watchworkrapins.com, and you'll get all our social media links, and of course, support us on patreon, patreon.com/watchworkrapins. We get access to our bonus episode. Our most recent one was about 90 minutes, shy of 90 minutes, of all making a murderer discussion, and we'll probably do some more of it next week with our next bonus episode. We have a Google Hangout coming up probably next week, right, Ronnie? Yeah, what day you want to do it next Thursday? Sure. So, we have Google Hangout next week, all the fun stuff. So, thank you, everyone, for listening. We appreciate you so, so much. Your house has a Potomac stuff this weekend, so we'll have a lot to talk about next week. Oh, yeah, new show, new show. Yay. Bye, everyone. Love you guys. Have a good one. If you like Watchwork Crapins, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcast. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at Wondery.com/survey. Have you ever wondered who created that bottle of sriracha that's living in your fridge? Or why nearly every house in America has at least one game of monopolies? Introducing The Best Idea Yet, a brand new podcast about the surprising origin stories of the products you're obsessed with. Listen to The Best Idea Yet on The Wondery app or wherever you get
