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For Hers.com/crapins, hers weight loss is not available everywhere. Compounded products are not FDA approved or verified for safety, effectiveness, or quality. Prescription required restrictions apply. Watch what crap is, watch what crap is, who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is. Hey everyone, welcome to Watch what crap is a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker from besideblog.com and the banter blender podcast. And joining me is the sleuthing, investigative, very smart, very, very sharp. Ronnie Karam from trashtalktv.com. Hi Ronnie. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So Ronnie and I have just spent an hour and 15 minutes, hour and 20 minutes talking about making a murderer, the Netflix sensation that everyone is chatting about, we just dissected the whole series for our bonus episode and we are kind of fired up at the moment. How to get away with making a murderer staring by Ola? Yeah, Davis. By old, yeah, yeah, Davis. By old, yeah, yeah, yeah. So we went through everything, we went through, we talked about the crime, we talked about the conspiracy theories, we talked about Ken Krantz, Ken Krantz, we talked about the hot reporters, we talked about everything. We talked about, we named the most consistently hot out of the entire cast. Oh, Pueller's cat up in some headphones. Okay, Pueller. Oh geez. Trying to plant evidence against even every guy. Um, so we went through the whole thing, we had a lot of fun. We are, I mean, we're still sort of in making a murderer mode. But if you want to hear all of that, go to patreon.com, patreon.com/watchworkrapins. And if you sign up there, you get access to a bonus episode every week. This week's is about making a murderer, other weeks are about who knows what we did one about Star Wars. We've done them about all sorts of things. And then there's also at certain levels, you get access to a monthly Google Hangout, ringtones, Ronnie makes all these great ringtones. And of course, our crap and smell bag, which we'll be hearing in a little bit. So supporting us there really, really helped us out a lot. And I was thinking about it, Ronnie. I was actually thinking about like, I was listening to another podcast and saying, and they were saying how they are like, you know, they were starting up a Patreon thing, et cetera, because they need the help. And I was thinking that really, it has really helped us a lot. And I just was having a reflective moment of thanks. So I was getting, I was, I was having like a moment. I was like, it's so nice. Like, how lucky are we that we have like such great listeners that do support us and make this feasible for us? Yeah, so good. So yeah, we love you. So we also have watchercrapins.com where you can get access to all our social media links and other things. And of course, Facebook.com forward slash watchercrapins, which is the best Facebook page on the internet. Tons of people we have like, we're coming up on 6,000 likes. It's crazy. 6,000 likes. Oh my God. So many good posts on here that you guys post. When you go to the Facebook, make sure that you're looking also at the post by others or a visitor post. It's called now. Yeah, because that is where you guys post all these links. And they're so good. I mean, today they're all Brooks Ayers's book, which is amazing. Vicki Gumbelson ready to whoop it up in Mexico. Some lady with drag queen face. Oh, it's Pettiflor. Oh, Lord. What did Pettiflor do to herself? She looks like Patsy from Abfab, and not in a good way, darling. Come back to the fucking time. I'm going to look at it now. I'm looking at, I'm going to go to it now. It's horrifying. She looks like a drag queen playing Patsy Stone. You know, it's a me. I mean, what's great about our Facebook page actually is because people do post all the stuff. They post all the gossip, all the photos, just funny, funny references to our show. I like to think of it as if the bravo gossip is the rain. Everyone is like the roof channeling the rain into our gutter of a Facebook page. And we have giant buckets of bravo gossip to offer, everyone. So good. I'm going to look. I'm still clicking through it right now. Oh, someone put a picture up of the hot reporter from making a murder. Okay. It's on my visitor page. I know I'm I'm looking. I'm scrolling past right now. There's on delay on delay. Oh, Pettiflor. She looks like a transgender lady. What is wrong with it? She really went crazy. Yeah, that is not good. Going for Chrissy Teigen there. That's not even good. I mean, that's like your fifth face. That's not your second face, Pettiflor. You're never into the lifting, darling. You're never going to attract your son that way. Your son isn't gay enough to be a Patsy Stone fan, darling. So anyway, that's that's that's the news. Everyone just follows him Facebook. It makes us feel good. So first order of business also, we have to give a nod to our super premium sponsor, Marvin J. He gets a shout out because Marvin supports us at a super premium level on Patreon. So he gets a special shout out every single episode. Marvin J. helps our dreams come true. Marvin. Hauler. Hauler J. And then we also have Chrissy Darity who supports us at the premium level. And she has been our sugar mama for a few months now. And so we we love Chrissy Darity. We we bow down at her altar. I love you. We're in love with you. And we also still like you. Well, that's crazy. This relationship's gonna last. Yeah, I felt good about it. Well, what do you want to do? Let's talk about the mailbag. I'm so excited to do the show today. Before even the mailbag, we have some news because we're gonna do this. It's you know that last week we announced J-law quest 2016. It's our quest to get Jennifer Lawrence on this podcast. Well, here's the news. We have made no progress whatsoever. But one of our listeners did say she's from the same hometown. So a little blip on the radar. So we are still we're still going. We're trying to go through proper channels. We're not gonna harass her. We're just but we're hoping that someone knows someone who's someone who could let her know about the podcast and get her on. So I watched the Golden Globes this week. And I love it. How old is Jennifer Lawrence? 23. I mean, she's young and she became famous so young. Yeah. In winter's born. Winter's tale of bones. Yeah, how to make a murderer with winter's bones or whatever. Well, you make a murder stock with the bones. And I remember her winning that Golden Globe for that one. And she won this year for that movie that has like five percent on Roy's. Made of whatever it is. No offense. And she won for it. And she got up and she's like. Thanks. Thanks so much. Thanks to the director because every time I'm up here, it's because of you. So I mean, I guess. Thanks guys. I mean, she's already so bored. She's like Michael Douglas. She's just like, Oh, jeez, here I am again. I just wanted to be at home. That's because she wants to be a home watching Bravo with her and then chummy it up with us. So only in 23 can you already be at retirement age just ready to take a nap during the Golden Globes. So good. We have to get her on this show. We have to. We love you, J-law. So, so people, if you know someone, if you know, like her press person or you know her like hair stylist or whatever, just just get there. We're putting it out there. And you know what, on my other podcast on banter blender, I had, I had two, I had two vision quests. I had one that they both did not come true, but they, but they came close. I have first, I spent like two years, I was like, Chad Otrasynco. That was my goal. He didn't come on. He did not come on the podcast, but I did get to meet him. And I felt like that was as good as I could get. So that made me feel good. And then next one was Jason Collins. I was, I tried very hard to get Jason Collins to come on the show in the same way, which is that I didn't really try. Who's that? He is the gay basketball player. And and eventually, I did the gay football player, the gay basketball player, the one who was on ladies of London. No, that's a football player. Oh, oh, nevermind. I have nothing against the gay basketball player. So I'm the gay football player. I just hate all of his mismatched patterns. Okay, I can't get better than that. Star Wars. But this is not my way of like bragging that I met these people. But the point is that I do believe that like eventually our past will cross with these people. And I want to get them poised so that we when I that we can get Jennifer Lawrence. What the hell is a basket player gonna talk about on this show? No, he's not coming on this show. This is for Sandra Blender. Okay. I'm like the worst guest, uh, asker ever, because I'm like, no, I don't like her. I do like J. Law, though, but I'm kind of glad we never got Chrissy Teigen because now she's just getting even more and more on my nerves now that I'm seeing her a lot on everywhere. Well, whatever, we were on top. Chef of where she was. Yeah, that's right. Batch. That's right. Batch. All right. So I mean, I don't know. I haven't even really looked at the questions yet. Okay, so Lola Del Rio. No, we love we love that Lola Del Rio. She has a good question. I did see this. This is a good one. This is a good question. Would you rather be accused of having a real disease that you deny Allah, Jax and his dirty STD or a fake disease that no one believes you actually have. And then she finishes by saying hashtag justice. I fucking say this all the damn time and I get the weirdest looks. Love it. So would you rather be like Jax and deny a real disease or Yolanda and have a fake disease and no one believes you. I would like to be like Yolanda and have a fake disease that no one believes. Really? Why is that? Because it's just more interesting. People still fuck you up. Like who's gonna fuck Jax? Well, probably still everybody because it's LA, but like, it's gonna, you know, no one wants to have sex with Jax now because he's like a walking store. Like, that's all you're gonna ever see now. But Yolanda, like, I don't know, people are still curious to have sex with her because A, they want to know if those white jeans smell and B, you know, everyone wants to know what it's like to have sex with someone who might possibly maybe have some kind of lime thing. Like, I don't know, right? I think, like, I'd rather have sex with John Stossel than Barbara Waltz. I would, I would, what about Hugh Downs? Where does he, or Cookie Roberts? That's perfect. I need, like, a little case of the Downs, but just enough to get a touch of Downs. That's, that's, that's his new fragrance. Like Asperger Downs, asked Downs Square. Is he Downs still alive? I feel like he's not. I mean, I'm assuming not, but who knows? I mean, with this medical community that we've got, wow. He's alive. He's 94. Well, you guys, that is the best news that you just fast forward. Breaking news, someone find you Downs and asking if he knows J-law. I think I actually would prefer in life, I think I'd be, I'd prefer to be accused of having a real disease because then you could theoretically get a test and say, see, I don't have it. Although these days, you know, what does a medical test mean? Justice, knowledge, justice. Just don't go to Newport Imaging. But, um, I, I think I would prefer, I think I'd prefer to, to be able to prove that I'm innocent rather than have something that there's no one believes me, because then I think that would actually make me go crazy. Well, I've already got a fake disease that I use for an excuse for everything, and it's called mommy issues. So, I guess I've already answered that with my real life choices. Yeah. Um, okay. So Madonna Hines. Oh, hello. Madonna, down, down, down under, down under, down under with a sexy jay. Down under sexy jay. She asks, who from Bravo would you invite to your hypothetical dinner party and why? Well, um, I wouldn't buy. Well, you go first. I answered first last. Um, well, Lisa Vanderpump, just cause it's Lisa Vanderpump. And then I think after Lisa Vanderpump, Gayle Simmons, and then, um, Eileen Davidson, and Lisa Rinna, I'm basically just doing the cast of Beverly Hills with Gayle Simmons, which I'm totally fine with, except I would not have, I wouldn't have Kyle. I'll have Lisa, Eileen, and Lisa Gayle. Um, no one from Vanderpump Rules. Um, um, maybe, maybe Liz from Gallery Girls, maybe. Um, oh my God, this sounds like a horror show of a dinner party. Like these people would all be mean to me. Do not invite me to this dinner party. Everyone you've named would be horrible to me, except Gayle. She's nice. I would, I just, I would want Gayle there. I think I actually, okay, if I had to start over, I would say Gayle, definitely Gayle, because we could talk about food. You can make her an egg. She loves eggs. Um, Bert Chard. I don't know. I'm like, I can't think of, I'm like, for some reason, I can't think of any other bravo shows. Maybe, oh, Cameron, Cameron from Southern Charm. Gayle and Cameron. That's a good one. That's a good one. I would just invite whoever could get the night off from Vanderpump Rules, because they wouldn't eat, so I wouldn't have to cater anything, and they'd all have good coke. Um, okay. Uh, do you want to do one more question? Or let's see, we got, okay, we got three. So let's do one more, and we'll see if you have the other two for the next, for the next episode. Okay. Betsy Brown. This is from Betsy Brown. She says, oh, this is a, this is a multi-tiered one, sort of. Mary Shag Kill. She has, she has three sets of Mary Shag Kills. So the first one, Sheena Marie Kristin Stossie. Um, I would marry Stossie, because I know I'm going to end up with a bitch who won't leave me alone for the rest of my life anyway. I'd Shag, who are the other two? Sheena Marie and who's the other one? Kristin. Seriously? Seriously. I'd Shag Sheena Marie, because I don't think she's had sex with Jacks yet. And, I guess I would have to kill Kristin only because I'm against t-shirt companies. They're already too many t-shirt companies. Okay. I'm not paying $30 for something, you stole up a bumper sticker, bitch. My results are shockingly similar. I mean, they're the same. I would say, I would definitely would marry Stossie, because as much as Stossie's a bitch, you know, I would just really have a lot of fun going out to brunch with her and just making fun of everyone around us. Um, I would sleep with Sheena for the same reason. She hasn't been with Jacks, although I feel like every time you like thrust on Sheena, she's like, I feel like some weird goose noises come out. And then, oh yeah. Now she just sounds like Toad. She sounds exactly like Toad in Super Mario Galaxy. Um, Kristin, I think you've got to kill because she's crazy. I mean, she's broken and you know what happens to broken horses. You got to put them down. So yeah, eventually children need glue. Okay. Next, next Mary Shag Kill from Buddy Brown. Brandy, Kim Richards or Hanky? I would marry Kim Richards, because that mom had to stole some money away somewhere. I think that every decade that hits Kim Richards gets another trust unlocked because that money has to be somewhere. I don't believe that it's all gone. Also, good drugs. Okay. Um, so I'd marry her. Who are the other ones? Hanky and Brandy. Um, I'd fuck Hanky just because he's probably the best tongue out of all of them. I mean, that Nick. Yeah. And then Brandy, I mean, I cannot listen to. I'd rather listen to Hanky, squawk while I fucked him than listen to Brandy, squawk the rest of my life about nothing. And also, Brandy will make shit up. You can't fuck her because she's going to tell the whole world lies about you. You can't marry her because she's going to tell the whole world lies about you. So, you know, kill. Yeah. I think that, yeah, I think Brandy has to be, I think she has to, she's killer in Hanky's pawns for sure. And then Hanky, this is hard because I feel like I would not want to be married to Kim Richards because she's a liability. But then again, Hanky would probably give like a good blow job, but I would blow drop. But then at the same time, what do you made out of paper clips? Hell. Well, Hanky would cut your wee wee off. But that neck, you said it yourself. I mean, I mean, listen, I neck, juggle. Hanky knows how to juggle. But then and again, like, do you want to have sex with Kim Richards? I don't know. So it's like, maybe Kim Richards is the one you kill, put her out of her misery. Brandy, I think maybe you have sex with Brandy, and then you marry Hanky and let him just waddle around everywhere. Okay, okay, sorry. No, no, you say no, no, no, that's enough. It's enough. So then the last trio, I've already fucked Hanky and we're like 10 minutes in. And I've been already like, opining about his Felicia skills. So the last trio of Mary Shag Kill, Jack's Tom Sando Schwartz. Jack's Tom Sando ball Tom Schwartz. Okay, you first, I keep going first. I think it I think. So it's interesting. My gut tells me you kill Jack's right away, right away. Although you have to imagine this, actually, you know, there is something primal and sexy about Jack, but too many SDs. So kill Jack's. There is nothing primal. I mean, except muscular. He's muscular, I guess. Okay, okay. But I think Schwartz, you you you have sex with, you have like a fun little romp with Schwartz. And then I think you marry Tom Sando ball. And talk about music and stuff. Agree. I would marry Tom Sando ball because he expects you to be a bitch forever. Like he would take whatever shitty attitude you throw at him. I like that. Tom Schwartz, I guess I'd fuck him because he's the fattest. And then Jack. Yeah, Jack's is like, Jack's is one of those babies that people have at prom. And you're like, just leave it in the toilet. Like, no, the news aren't even going to, they ain't even going to criticize you for that one. Just leave it there. It's like it has to go home, bring him back to the toilet. But yeah, I think because I think I feel like Schwartz, like, you know, everything, if you marry Schwartz, you're signing up for a lifetime of like, Hey, can you pick up like, can you pick up like some chicken as your market? Hey, I'm looking at the chicken. Do you want foster farms? Should I go to the counter? Like, whatever's on sale, like on sale with a Ralph's card or like, what do you want? And then he comes back with a pot roast. What does that look like? You'd be like, Oh gosh. All right. Well, chicken, if I get chicken, oh, just antibiotics, but antibiotics are good to fight against disease, but I don't have a disease. But what if I got one? Oh, God, should I cheat on Katie? Like a life of indecision. You're like, she don't get anything. Tom, you got the wrong, you didn't even get chicken. He just pours a glass of water in your head like, yes, any man who's like 40, but pretends he's like an indecisive 13 year old because he thinks it's cute. Be done with him. That man is no good. He's going to be cheating on you for the rest of your life. Yeah. So congrats, Tom Tandavol and Stasi, we unequivocally believe that we're going to marry you. And then, you know, we don't know really where we stand on the hanky side. Mary Sandoval, you know, I really do like Sandoval's gradual descent into crazy face. He's not just like jumping on the face and wagon. He's being gassed a little bit, I think. Hey, first of all, here's the thing. I could have a perfectly pleasant marriage to Tom Tandavol, where all we do is talk about our hair, doing our hair and shirts. And I'm happy. I'm fine with that. I'm down. Yeah, he parties a lot, and I'm totally into terrible bands. Like, that's an LA fad that I love. Well, it's not a fad, but an LA personality type, just some like bartender with a terrible band. I'm really into that. But I meant crazy face, like literal face, like facially, like, he's really going slowly, like he's getting some Botox, maybe some fillers, but he's not jaxing out yet. You know, he's not like she in a Marie who's like only the top of a face and like a disintegrated job. I mean, what does she put in that thing in a pencil sharpener? She doesn't even have a john anymore. What is she doing? It's like she's auditioning to be a sidekick to the villain in the next Batman movie. Totally. She needs to start chain smoking just so she can have a hole in her throat to talk out of because soon there's going to be nothing there. She's going to be like a top set of teeth. Well, at least we know where we stand with all these people. So thank you. That's that's our audience while we're having sex with thank you. Yeah, the Brontosaurus is like, why? Why was I the one Brontosaurus to survive? No, I have to see this. All right, we've got lots of shows tonight. I mean, and lots more coming up. Oh my god. Does Potomac start today? Potomac starts, I believe this coming Sunday. Omega. Omega. Yeah. So we have Atlanta top chef pump. Should we start with Atlanta and then do like a top chef like palette cleanser than go to pump? Oh, sure. Okay. Well, why don't you leave it like I had to say I thought this is a pretty boring episode of Atlanta. And I had I actually had a dream last night that I was playing board games with Portia and I couldn't remember the rules and she was getting impatient with me. Isn't that awful? What a terrible dream. Like Portia knows how to play any board game. You know, she screams Uno right in the middle of Monopoly. Like set up over there. So this episode was up and down. And that's much how this show always goes. It's like, amazing, terrible, amazing, terrible. This show started shopping for baby things. I don't know if they were shopping for like real baby things or a new suit for Todd, whatever. They were at some store called Pretty Please. And we got to see Carmen's wig on an old lady. Mama Joyce is back. She's back. Yeah, they were candy was shopping for baby stuff or Todd stuff with Mama Joyce. And the only note that I wrote down was that the saleswoman was like, here's some of our cribs. This one's amazing. This is a wrought iron crib. That's a jail. Like who buys a wrought iron crib? I hate everything wrought iron by the way. I think the concept of wrought iron should be like gone. I hate it. The Ralph's right. The Ralph's right by me. We talked about this last week. The Ralph's right by me. The tables that they have for the little in store Starbucks are wrought iron. Terrible. Well, I like that she's already buying him a jail sale. She's like, don't worry, double. We'll keep you stuff while you're in jail. She's like keeping the baby stuff in the garage while he's in the crib. Mama Joyce is medicated heavily. I don't know what's going on with her, but I love that she's back. And the lady who runs Pretty Please looked terrified. The only person in that store who didn't look terrified was that stuffed bear that had closed eyes. Like someone made a stuffed bear whose eyes are always closed. It's like some abuse thing on lifetime, you know, like there's no facial features because they got abused. And I feel like that with that bear. And I was like, the only reason that bear is smiling is because he cannot see the intense look on Mama Joyce's face. Yeah. She's like, Oh, I want a crib. I was like, oh no. So she's going to get a crib so that she can be closer to this kid than with Riley. So I'm so afraid for this child. So Mama, Mama Joyce actually says at one point, she's such a horrible human being. And I love her. She says to the lady, she was, yeah, I'm going to have a crib because I'm the only grandmother now. Wink smile. What the heck? Oh, I didn't even pick up on that. Oh my god. That's so awful. So the scene is just her saying that she's going to go have a talk with Vadra. Uh oh. Yeah. Great. So I'm a Joyce, diplomat to the diplomat like of the year. Boys knows how to like, uh, bridge the gaps between people. Her interpersonal skills are really unparalleled. I want Mama Joyce to just be the judge of every TV show ever. Objection. What are you talking about? Objection around silence in the courtroom game. So next up is Detroit wrote the crypt. I don't know why I wrote this. I'm sure I was trying to write it. Detroit. It's a synonym for Detroit. The crypt. The crypt. Now, people from Detroit are so sensitive about when you make fun of Detroit. It's funny because you make fun of any other city. But the moment you make phone Detroit, the moment you're like, oh well, I'm surprised Detroit hasn't burned down. They're like, how dare you? We suffered through some riots. How dare you? We have come back. We have come back. I'm like, just calm down. You have nothing but like corrupt mayors and riots and a defunct auto industry. Just calm down. Just you have to enjoy it. No, people get so mad if you make fun of Detroit. I guess I don't have any Detroit jokes. I'm going to come up with some, though, just to see if I can make fun of that. No, it's like that. That sounds amazing. Yeah, I remember I remember like 10 years ago when Detroit was in the finals with the Lakers the Pistons. And I remember I made like a joke about Detroit about like, oh, well, like, like, I'm surprised I haven't burned down the city yet. And like my Michigan friends were like, that is so rude. That is awful. And some, Jimmy Fallon, I'm not Jimmy Fallon. Jimmy, the other Jimmy, Kim all get ranting. Jimmy Kim all made a joke about like riots in Detroit, and he had to like issue a formal apology to the city. It was a whole thing. But you know what, though, when the Lakers were in Detroit, what happened? Like a crowd of people surrounded the hotel and were like, they didn't like, it wasn't like a full on riot, but it's kind of like, dude, like, if you don't want people to make fun of you, like, stop rioting. Now, but now I've actually officially gotten all the people from Detroit, man, I'm sorry, everyone. I'm sorry. I'm just saying, like, why can't we make fun of an offhand comment into like, you're going to get in so much trouble, like, why can't we make fun of other cities? That's what I'm saying. Like, like, enjoy it. We know you're not just riots and fires. We know that, but like when you get sensitive about it makes me think that's that you are, you know, well, if they're going to ride over anything, it's going to be Kenya more coming to town. Yeah, that's true. Fingers crossed. Yeah. Like, if there's time to start a car on fire, it's now like Kenya comes to town and then like everyone on eight miles, like, you know, it's about time you start cleaning ourselves up. You know, guys, let's just gentrify. We got Kenya more coming through. We've got a walking riot coming through here. All right, you guys, let's let's look inward and fix our problems so we don't turn out like Kenya more. So they're talking about decrypt. I think it's just because I just saw mama Joyce, so I'm like writing the cryptkeeper and details from decrypt. That's wrong, Candy, the cryptkeeper where she's just saying everything's wrong. Okay. Kenya and Lori, Aunt Lori, Brandon's going to go, whatever. Kenya, look, I cannot feel I cannot be too mean about someone whose mom won't ever even speak to them or look at them and stuff like that. She's going to go work out her current issues with people with the mother who never spoke to her. And to that, I say, do what your mom did and stop speaking to everybody because you speaking to people is the problem in the first place. The problem with your relationships is not that you're not talking to them. Okay. You're talking too much. Be quiet. Yeah. You know, learn something, telling. Also, I have to say, she had a unibrowse a baby, which is hilarious. And her father brings up later. And she's already planning on bombarding her mother's house with a surprise Jerry Springer visit from the Mercedes van or whatever the hell they're in. Yeah, it's not going to work. And then for some reason, she mentioned, oh, she's talking about her high school. And she also, she's now actually screwed me up on how to say baccalaurea baccalaurea. She was like, it's back. She's like, baccalaureate. And I was like, ha, stupid Kenya. I was like, wait, how do you say it again? I'm like, I don't know how to say it anymore. You ruined it for me. You ruined it. I can't say baccalaureate anymore. What is it? What is that? It's like, um, like if you have like a bachelor's, it's like a baccalaureate. It's like a degree, but it's like, so she was saying it's like a distinction. So she was saying her high school is this is, you know, I hate when I'm dumber than the people on Atlanta. I know it's terrible. I also worry, but I hadn't even heard of it. I was like, baccarat. What? Yeah, I'm too dumb. So I just fast forwarded. Yeah. And unfortunately stuff on Cynthia's stupid ass. So yeah, exactly. Now we get to a Cynthia scene where Cynthia is like getting dressed because peel Peter's brews going to take on a romantic weekend. So Cynthia and that lovely Noel, we love Noel, which is again, another reminder of of Noel's hot, hot husband Leon. One of our listeners made a comment a few weeks ago, like, why don't you ever show any love for Leon? Like, you guys, like Leon is great. Like, why don't you ever, I'm like, all we do is love on Leon. We still do not understand why the hell Cynthia dumped Black Jesus from like a prayer video. Why did she do that? Leon is a editor sure love on him because poor Cynthia, like she doesn't have Nini there anymore to save her scenes. So they just showing, they keep showing clips of Leon. People like Leon just show him again. Cynthia's cute writing will go up. So Cynthia's like in the closet trying to figure out what to wear around Peter. I mean, girl, he was just caught strangling some girl on Instagram. I think she was wearing like a for sale forever 21 shirt. It doesn't matter, okay? Forever 21. I've already said that because I always get forever 21 and century 21 confused in the beginning when forever 21 first came around. Oh, century 21. I remember that place in New York. That was the first cluster fuck sale place I ever went to where you had to fight people over some, you know, bathrobes, whatever. So anyway, Cynthia boring, boring, boring. You're saying my daughter, you know, she's so sweet and fashionable. And then they sell the daughter and she's wearing like a t-shirt dress that she's ripped up and tied back together, which I don't know, I have no opinion on that except to say t-shirts do not need to be reinvented. All right, let me tell you something. Cynthia has reached such a level of boringness that her only other scene this episode was a five second snippet of her and Peter on the beach frolicking around going, whoo, and then it just like cut away. It was like, oh, like Cynthia standing in front of a plate of nachos while Peter's in the background, strangling some Mexican teenager on a beach. What the hell kind of trip is this? Yeah, it was like they couldn't even, they didn't even bother devoting a scene to to them, which is actually more than what Kim Fields got this episode also, I'd like to add. I was just about to say Cynthia and Kim Fields are both going to be drowned in a tub by the editors, by the end of the season. They get nothing. Well, I'm sure they have to find anything to get mad at this season. I mean, she was off on a carpool probably. She's like, sorry, can't film today, big carpool day. We're going from school to an after school program. First day, new kids really wanted to watch that t-shirt dress get tied in Cynthia's closet, but I'm stuck behind a Range Rover, so you know how that goes. Listen, it's a big day in carpool. They changed the packaging on Apple and Eve Juice boxes. So, you know, we're pretty excited over here. We got a new DVD player putting the backseat and I can't get little mermaid to work. It's going to be a long one, guys. Guys, the new Tinker Bell sequel came out today, big carpool day. I officially let my son put too much salt on his friend fries and he's stuck in the nurse's office. So, I'm circling around the carpool circle over and over. Sorry, I can't make it to set today, guys. Trying out a new flavor of handy snack, carpool is never going to be the same. Back to you, Chuck. And now we go back to the most glamorous roach on TV that refuses to die. Porsche. Porsche who they fired 20,000 times and keeps somehow magically reappearing on the show. Porsche with her trainer. This is the funniest shit I've ever seen. What the hell kind of personal training was that? There's he's like, okay, come sit on my crotch and do a sit-up. Okay, now I'm going to lift you above my face and right down to my face, above my face. Like, this guy is lifting your vagina on and off of his face. Where do I hire this man? It's like my secret to skininess is finally revealed. You know, I had no problem with this guy, DP. I was I was like, I am ready to see some more footage of DP. In fact, feel free to like devote 10 minutes to DP. I am okay with that. Oh, Ben, you just went on national podcasting and said you like DP. So good luck in the future. Yeah. Like, why is my grinder suddenly going off the hook? DP, I'm down in DP, and then I have my issues with Detroit. We're learning everything about Ben today. So, Porsche is doing something on a bench and he's like, what you boobies? She's like, don't worry, thank you. Um, so then her sister arrives for the sister fight. So this is so funny. Of course she goes, I'm so glad you came. And she goes, you made me. Oh, yeah. Well, look, when I get a package, you got to be there because then I had to drive from my house to get a package and I'll be paying $200 for that package. I'm already paying $200 and I want for DP's package. I don't have many $200 bills. I believe her words were actually, can't miss packaging, can't miss packaging. So you're saying that if someone brings some like boxes, just some empty boxes and some tape over, you can't miss it. And then so apparently there's the sister is the intelligent one. So she's coming up with all these business ideas and saying, we'll attach Porsche's name because people will buy it and all run the business and we'll use your name. We'll both get rich. And gorgeous like, okay. So she has no idea what's going on in these businesses. Her sister's pregnant, which to be fair, she's like a second pregnant. She doesn't even have a bump. She's barely. Yeah. She's already acting like, you know, she's in candy stage of pregnancy when that's not really the case. But she, but she tells Porsche, she's like, listen, I think like, you know, especially now that I'm pregnant, like, you should probably be more hands on with your company. And Porsche gives you this look like a dog whose dog ball has been moved, like, or like what? What hand more hands on? No, no, no, you just have to be you're the pregnant one. I know you're the one who has to do everything. Yeah, she's like, you're lucky. You're pregnant. You do it. And the sister is saying, uh, yeah, I'm pregnant. So I'm tired. Why are you tired? You're pregnant. Who cares? You get the layer went out there and eat stuff. So they get in this big fight and Porsche goes, I'm selfish. I'm self-absorbed. I'm this. The sisters looking at her like, well, at least you're finally fucking getting it. Yeah, getting it. And Porsche says they start fighting about the business and Porsche goes, you have to like, I paid no dues. I made this business on my back. By the way, this fight annoyed me because I'm like, come on, you know, producers, you got to do better. Like, we saw this with candy and Carmen like last year, like, I'm sick of this whole like, you know, I hired my best friend slash sister to be my assistant and now we're having tension. I just want to get back to us being sisters and friends. This is like almost as bad as vagina waxing. Oh, just when you thought they couldn't make vagina waxing any worse, they have one of the gay guys get us but whole waxed on the next newlyweds. We'll be there. Oh, I saw, I saw a good old Craig at the at Tiago today. Coffee shop of a thousand stars. Did he start crying? You told me that from a distance was playing earlier. Did he start crying? He had already left the coffee shop when Ben Miller started, started playing, but he was, he had such a broad back. It's like this giant, like, you know, there's like, there's a V shape back. His is like a, I don't know what it is. It's just enormous. It just goes in all different directions. Oh, the reality of backs at Tiago. Today at Tiago, you should do a whole podcast just from Tiago about who comes in. Oh, today, Bette Midler was playing at Tiago and I literally thought that Midler was at Tiago at 10 in the morning playing because, you know, she would. Yeah, she would. Well, I'll tell you who came in. I was sitting at a booth. Okay. And this woman, she's probably in her mid to late 50s. She comes up to me and is like, she's like, come on, I said to you, I'm like, sure, because all the seats were taken. So, you know, I'm not gonna be an asshole. Like, yeah, I, she can show the booth with me. I don't care. So I'm type of like, I can't say I'm gonna fuck Hanky, but then like turn away some actual human being. Yeah, exactly. So, you know, I'm on my laptop because I'm doing my work. I'm working my little pilot being a, you know, Hollywood cliche. And I have my outline next to me and I'm typing. And she has her laptop. I'm like, this is fine. I don't care. So it's like being back in school at the library. So I'm typing. And then like after like half an hour, she's like, she's like, excuse me. She's like, are you, you a writer? Are you like, because she has this weird Eastern European accent. She's like, you guys, are you, you adapting something? I'm like, yeah, I am. Yeah. Because she seems like this really nice older lady. She's like, oh, me too. I'm like, oh, fuck. And then she's like, you have, you have manager or whatever. She's like, can you, can you give me your manager's name? And she literally just starts asking me for my manager's name. She's like, can I have your, she's husting me. She's doing the Hollywood hustle. I'm like, it's bad enough that we're two, like people writing in a copy shop, but we're already motherfucking cliches. But now you're like pitching me, you're pitching me to get like my manager's name starts listing all the things she's done. So I, of course, I'm like, well, how about you give me, you give me your name. I'll pass your name along. I totally do the, like, don't call, like, don't call me. We'll call you, which is also ridiculous. And she gives me your name. Her name is Anna. And she's like, I've reached in 12 novels. And I have a play in New York right now. I'm like, sure. So I do Google search and she does have a book. It's called urgent beauty. Oh my goodness. What does that mean? It's the most ridiculous title, but I'm like, this is so like, this is Hollywood right here. Does it take place in a hospital? Maybe, maybe it like the, maybe in the reconstructive surgery. It's a whole book about Max falling down in the bathroom. But this is what. Oh my God. He needed urgent beauty. His teeth were in the wood. This is what Hollywood is, everyone. It is a cliche. It's two riders stuck at a table. And by the way, when other other seats opened up, there were like 10 open seats. She didn't leave. Yeah. Well, she got an agent. What the hell? She's not going to leave. I know. And then you have like a reality star on the other side of the coffee shop, Beth been there playing. And then like a pack of people across the street, standing around David Bowie star, which is, oh, by the way, so sad. But this is Hollywood, everyone. If you want to come to Hollywood, the cliches are true. This is what happens. I was so proud of people in LA for when David Bowie died. They all posted about David Bowie and stopped posting about rain. Even though it was two days later, people were still like, can you guys believe it reigned? And then David Bowie died. So David Bowie, I'm sad that you died, but thank you for stopping people posting about rain. But you know what I felt bad about David Bowie's star is exactly where Asa had her protest in front of the Las Vegas seafood buffet. I was like, Oh, David Bowie is a legend. He's an icon. He's wonderful. He impacted us all. And David's in front of the bay, then like that, his entire life. And then to be placed in front of a fucking buffet. I mean, that's just offensive. And someone's got to move that star at least to the Buffalo Wild Wings. Get it out of the Vegas seafood buffet. I mean, fresh and easy to fresh, he outlasted fresh and easy. Well, that's true. David Bowie last longer than a bell pepper in a package. What are those like candy packages? They put their fruits and vegetables in. I can't with fresh and easy. I miss it. Bowie. I miss it. Okay. Anyway, dark crystal. This is what happens when you drink tiara coffee before podcast. You start going tangents about tiara coffee itself. I love it. I love it. I'm totally sober. And that's it. This is also the product of a very boring Atlanta episode that I'd rather talk about the random lady at the coffee shop. Okay. Well, we don't have to keep it that long, but this scene is amazing talking about awkward scenes with old ladies that you can't get away from your table. Mama Joyce comes to visit Fei-Fei, the office of mortuary and lawyer, possible traffic cops, donkey booty making, and Presario, dentist, or whatever the hell she is today. So she has some extra sitting out front. He's like, Miss Phaedra, Miss Joyce is here to see you. And he's like pulling at his suit. Like you can tell he's never worn a suit before. He's like, and Phaedra gives us luck when he says Miss Joyce that is fucking hysterical. I love Phaedra no matter what. Okay, no matter what people. So she comes in and she's like, Oh, hello. Hello. You know that fake smile Joyce gives when she's about to murder you, but she's like, Oh, hello. Hello. And Phaedra likes the cat. Look, yeah. Phaedra's like, I hope this goes okay because last time we were here was not pleasant. And then it cuts to Mama Joyce, like telling Phaedra off or whatever last time. So anyway, they start talking. She says, What is your problem with candy? Phaedra's like, Well, you know, we had a misunderstanding, which is normal in a friendship, but we're okay now. Oh, by the way, the flashback was of Mama Joyce yelling at her for introducing her to Todd introducing candy to Todd. And she said, you don't do that. You don't introduce two people with big heads. Yes. Small people with big heads. I could choke you right now. That's the best clip ever. I could choke you. That's why I want to choke you to death. But the thing is that Bravo teased this like encounter all week long. It's like, Oh, Mama Joyce is gonna go say something to Phaedra. Mama Joyce gets like, Oh, yes, it's a bit close. And Phaedra's like, well, we're getting back. There's like, Okay, well, let's do a baby shower. I'm like, this is it. Well, she did. She did do the very Simon serial killer thing where she said, I just want to make sure that you understand that candy is pregnant. And any kind of stress in a high risk pregnancy could make her lose her baby. I would never want anyone to do anything to her. And Phaedra's like, Oh, okay. And she goes, you know, Mama Bear, you know me. And Phaedra's like, Uh, okay. One hand one hand around her stiletto, like off camera. Mama Joyce amazing. She basically threatens to kill Phaedra, like literally murder her. And Phaedra's like, Okay, she goes, I wanted help with the baby showers. They come up with the baby shower theme. So then we go back to Portia and Lauren, Portia goes to visit Lauren and like, she brings her flowers in the supermarket. And I love how Lauren's like this. You came here with like flowers in the supermarket and Borsch is like, yeah. It's a judge. She's like, it's a thought that counts. That's what flowers grow. So yeah, they got a farm there. It's a farm in the flower bed in the supermarket. Where do you buy a flower bush in the supermarket? Where do you buy flower for cookies supermarket? That's where your flowers. So, um, so they, they like hash it out. And they're like talking about like how Lauren's pregnant and Portia, like things haven't worked out. And they have like a real moment. But what was funny to me is during this whole thing, you know, Portia's just like stuffing her face with apples and caramel. And then Portia's talking about the baby and she's like, I'm not mad. I'm glad. Don't worry about me. I'll find somewhere that internalize it. And she like scoops apples into her mouth. I'm like, Oh, honey, you found away already. You just don't realize it. She's like, don't need internal life. Ray and dramatic. You know, I'll, I'll deal with it some way. I don't know. I'll, I'll internalize. I don't know how you don't need to figure out how to internalize it. You need to figure out how to digest it. You're about to get sick. And her sister's just watching her with a gross outlook as she downs this whole thing of apples, trying to convince her that she's not mad that she's not pregnant first. She's like, I'm not mad that I'm not pregnant. I'm happy for you. She goes, really? Because you had surgery to get pregnant. You went, you married a gay guy to get pregnant. You did all these things. You took pills. You had hormones. You prayed to Jesus every day. You had a parade. So the town had to dance so that you would get pregnant. She was like, Oh, yeah. Like she starts expressing her reminding all this shit that This isn't just a sympathy pregnancy. This is like a jealousy pregnancy. It was so funny. But also the sister's kind of a bitch. Okay. Portia, Portia was saying. She hid that she was pregnant from me. We're supposed to be close. And then she's asking her, Why did you hide the pregnancy? First of all, she was probably like a second pregnant because she's still not poking out. Yeah. And which Portia is very happy to note on camera. She's like, Oh, you're poking out today. And she's like covers up her stomach. But the sister's kind of a bitch because she didn't tell Portia. She waited not only to be on camera, but to be waiting while Portia's getting dressed to be on the red carpet for the Golden Globes. Like, that's a dick move. I don't care who you are. That is a dick move. And if you are sensitive enough to know that your sister is going to be mortified in jealous, why would you do it on her big day? You're a bitch. Okay. I agree with Portia. You're a bitch. Yeah. Yeah. So now for the reunion to her. Yeah, back to back to the back to the main carpool of the episode, which is the Kenya, Kenya and her family on this like bus driving over to her mom's neighborhood. And we get to hear more about why her mom disowned her because basically Kenya's grandfather, her mom's dad, was like fucked up. And he never spoke once to Kenya's dad, like never said a word. And so therefore it was, he had told the mom, no more legal babies. According to the dad, which is right. That's almost like illegitimate, not illegal. Your mother said he no one no more legal babies in the house. It's like, you mean illegitimate? And I'm like, no, probably illegal. Like your father is your, your grandfather is really Donald Trump. That's why he hated you for no reason. He's like, no, illegal babies. And shut down. It always comes full circle. Yeah. So that, I mean, that's sad that Kenya's mom wouldn't speak to her. But basically someone post someone tweeted me an article from a long time ago, a long time ago, when Kenya won Miss USA. And they were interviewing her. And Kenya was saying, yeah, my mom won't speak to me. And I don't even care. I wouldn't speak to her either. I don't even want to give her the time of day, blah, blah, blah. And they, I guess, interviewed her mother somehow. And her mother said, I know that Kenya is portraying me a certain way, but it doesn't matter. Because I know who I am. Yeah, you're a woman who won't speak to your fucking baby for no reason. You're a woman who is making the world side with Kenya more. Yeah. Yeah, you stupid lady. I mean, for crying out loud, she wouldn't portray you that way if you just talk to her. I mean, she's allowed to be like annoyed and say those things because you're her mother and you won't even acknowledge her existence. I mean, that's what I mean, don't you know, that's like the easiest way to fuck someone up is to have a kid and then just like deny like, deny that they exist. I mean, it's your fault. Your fault, lady, apply it. Go to Shut Up Mountain. She is actually, she's already on Shut Up Mountain because she won't talk the yeah. It's like, come to Talk Mountain. Go to Talk Mountain. Shut up, not Mountain. Take the gun to look over to Talk Mountain. I think there are a couple things that make it a little deeper though. Hey, Kenya, this woman has never spoken to you because in her mind, and I'm seeing it from this side because this happened in my family. I have a cousin. My mom and her sister got pregnant at the same time. Her sister wanted to put the baby up for adoption. The family refused and she left him on our doorstep. So my grandparents ended up raising him and he's my cousin, but he's kind of my brother. You know, we grew up together. We went to school together and got whoop by me all together. We ordered porn to her house in the 80s, holler. So anyway, I kind of get it because in a way, the mom is like, I wanted to put her up for adoption and the family wouldn't let me. And so if I had put her up for adoption, it wouldn't be my child. It's Lori's child. But at the same time, why are you ignoring? Like, you can't just pretend nothing ever happened. And what even happened to the dad? He's dead. So come on. Well, he was also like, just get over it for crying out loud. You can't get mad at somebody else for being born when you were the one who got fucked to get her born in the first place. Like, who are you going to? What do you mad at your vagina? Have you ignored your vagina for the past 40 years to get out of here? Stupid, quiet lady. She's not asking to come live with you. And also, by the way, lady, she's successful, like mooch off her for crying out loud. At the very least where your self is impulses. Jesus, deadbeat dads know how to do it. They wait. It's like be a beaver, dad, you know, wait until that little fucker strikes rich and then be like, I'm sorry. And then go shopping, girl. You've got to have a Mervyn's in Detroit. What the hell? Don't you dare give her your voice. And your mom, I'm she didn't really. What if it was? She finally comes out of the house. I have pictures of your father staying on the wall. I've made a campus to print of your embryo. So when I feel bad, I can yell at it. Sorry. I'm going to go hear products. With big wireless providers, what you see is never what you get. Somewhere between the store and your first month's bill, the price you thought you were paying magically skyrockets with mint mobile. You'll never have to worry about gotchas ever again. I mean, how many times have you felt like, oh, this has been such a great deal. And then at the end of the first month, you're like, what just happened? Yeah, you look at the charges. It's like, I agreed to a certain amount. And then you look at that bill and it is nowhere near the number that you agree to. But then there's like 90 million charges on top of what you agreed to. They were just secrets, sorry, but not with mint. Say, bye bye to your overpriced wireless plans, jaw-dropping monthly bills and unexpected overages. All plans come with high-speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. 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I just took all these family photos that we had saved. We had to throw a lot of them away just because it takes up an entire attic, you know? I mean, I come from a huge Lebanese family. And we had all these pictures and we finally just digitized them and it was so easy to just format them into a book and it's beautiful. I still see it there every time I'm over there and they really loved it. Enjoy 40% off your Shutterfly order with code Crapins40 and make something meaningful this year. Get free shipping on qualified orders. See site for more details. So the other point to this is that this has been going on for a long time. The mother has never changed her stance. So Kenya thinks that it's totally appropriate to show up on a tour bus. Yeah, why not? Why not? Why not blow that woman shit up? Why not? I don't know. It just doesn't seem right. And at Laurier agrees with me. We'll see you next week. I'm not saying it's not right. Yeah, Kenya does have a right. It's just that Kenya's boundaries are so off. She's so exploitive. You know, the white bassist lady. Here, yeah, her boundaries are off. But you know, it's like, well, why do you think her boundaries are off? Because she's fucked up because her mom won't recognize her existence. That's why. So lady, it's your own monster you created. That's what happens. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. My parents and I think that in this case, of course, the mom deserves all the blames you can get. She's no victim here. But, you know, I don't excuse monsters either. Like when serial killers were beat by their parents. Yes, that was your parents fault for making you kind of horrible, but you're still the serial killer. And you know, I don't think Kenya's killed anybody, but you know, dignity. But you know, I still treat her like she does. So anyway, it's this horrible thing where everyone's like, don't go in there, Kenya. Don't go home. Kenya. She goes up and she knocks on the door and she goes, it's Kenya. And I'm alone. And I just want to speak to you. You are not alone. You are Mike. And there's a camera crew and a tour bus behind you. Yeah. Yeah, the microphone is the yeah. She's like, I'm alone. I heard you lock the door. I was like, Oh, girl, girl, you need to if you're going to go up to that door, you need to get your full on crazy, like bring a knife, go to each window, go like Michael Myers on it and just, you know, like scare the bitch. Yeah. Drive the van through it. It's just a rental. Don't you watch real housewives of Orange County? Yeah, that shit right through the front window. Yeah, exactly. And by the way, else do I pack? She should have gone to the back door anyway first. Well, you know, the police will be called. And no matter who is really at fault, Kenya will go to jail because she's the craziest. And she'll argue with the police officers. No, here's the thing. If the police are called, Kenya will be like, you know, officer, I'm so glad you came because I was feeling very unsafe by this woman. This is a crazy woman officer. I did not feel safe. And you know, the mom's getting put in jail. Kenya always wins with the police. Well, this was very saddish to watch. Even though I suspect that Kenya is. I felt bad. I mean, I just suspect yes, Kenya, but I felt bad too. I felt bad because at the end of the day, Kenya is Kenya and she's a crazy woman, but you know, she's still someone who like wants her mom and and she's, you know, basically doesn't have her mom and she wants her mom and she's reaching out. I mean, it's it's terrible, actually. So, you know, putting all the reality show, a snark aside, I actually felt pretty. Yeah, because if her mom had completely ignored her after watching the show, I would get that like I get being disowned after your parents see who you are on Bravo. But like, she couldn't help it when she was just a little baby. It's like you can't disown someone because of a unibrow. Otherwise, no Lebanese child would have parents. I know. So they go to this family reunion and Kenya, of course, has had everybody she's made shirts and they all say Kenya's Kenya's family reunion. They're all like these pink and white shirts and she's the only one with like a fitting shirt to show off her paid for Iraq and stuff. Everybody else has these off brand like scratchy cotton. Terrible. It's been a really long road to get this family reunion. I'm like, yeah, because you've been driving around your mom's neighborhood all day. Literally a long road. She called her grandma Sassy Raccoon. I like that too. Yeah, that was rude. She's like, hey grandma, you look like a Sassy Raccoon. Ha ha ha ha. That laugh she has and her grandma was like, I could still squash you bitch. I'm rabid. I'm gonna bite you. So not much happened at this. Aunt Lori left, which was like a big thing and Aunt Lori is pissed, which we find out next week is because Kenya is not supposed to be going to her mother's and the mother called Aunt Lori immediately and was like, tell her to go away. So we'll talk about that next week. But what a family too. I think like, wow, what, I mean, and Lori has always to me appeared as a pretty bright woman, you know, a woman of like a sensible, smart, upstanding, you know, someone who was like above the grade of like a reality star. But you can see this, this sister has such a hold on their family because Kenya comes by and I would think that Aunt Lori's position would be something like, well, sister, Pat, you know, yeah, she she came by, but that's what you get for ignoring your daughter. Like, I know you don't want it, but she's gone. So whatever, you have to deal with your responsibility. But instead, Lori appears, Lori, and the entire family circled wagons around this woman, which I think, again, it's just like Lori raised Kenya. So Lori's the mom. So Kenya still calls her Aunt Lori in this nap. But Lori is Kenya's mom. I mean, she has loyalty to Kenya, to be honest, she does. But at the same time, she had enough loyalty to her sister to raise her child. Well, maybe, maybe they wanted to keep that child in the family. So the sister's probably thinking of it. Like, I could have had an abortion or I could have just given this kid up for adoption and it would have been easier. But now my family insisted on keeping her and you said this was your child now. Why is she knocking at my door? I mean, I know it's horrible. So like, I'm not necessarily agreeing. I'm just trying to see it from all sides. Well, maybe also, maybe, and this is reading so much into it with very little information, but maybe also Lori gets threatened with the idea of Kenya going to her mom's place. Because if Lori sees Kenya as her daughter and then all of a sudden, Kenya wants to go to her real mom, that might threaten Lori's position or she might perceive it to be a threat to her position. I just heard her damn feelings because she was a mother to Kenya. So Kenya still going on like she doesn't have a mother. When you're the adoptive parent who gave up your life to raise this kid, it's kind of offensive when they refuse to call you the mom. It's kind of offensive, but it's not unreasonable. Exactly. Yeah, it's reasonable on both sides, but there's some ugly feelings. And I hope that Lori is like, listen, bitch, I'm your mom, give it up. That's it. You've got a mother who loves you. And it's me. So stop, stop this, especially on camera when you know you're not supposed to go over there young lady. So the only other stuff was Phaedra finally going over to see the video at Todd's production company. She's so shady about it. She's like, I'll go visit little talks. I know he doesn't have anything else going on in his life, right? He hasn't, you know, I didn't really like the way the video looked, but he doesn't have any job. So I'll pay him his money. That way, little Todd could get his baby sized shoes. This is Todd's only job right now. Oh God. And she's like, what's going on with those polka dots in the video? And the guy's like, well, it's not rendered yet, which is hilarious because they're using final cut. So final cut auto renders your stuff. You don't, the new final cut, because I think it's because the dots, you know, like how like dots will look like strange lines when it's like not. Yes, it was a bad fashion choice. It was one of those weird because it's not just polka dots. They like fade down to smaller. I don't know. I'm not. Someone should have told her not to wear that on the shoot, Todd. But him saying it not rendered when they're in final cut 10 is a little weird because I stand by it. You do? Well, you're on final cut seven. It doesn't look like that. But still like the way it looks. Sometimes the way it looks like the fine like versus like the final output is still it's like not rendered at top quality. Oh, okay. Because final cut 10 auto renders, it's not like seven that you have to render my not my auto renders too. Oh, it does. But it's just switching back to seven. But it's just it's not at like tip top quality. It's not, you know, it's like, you'll still see things like that. Like you'll see the dots and LOL at arguing. I mean, final cut this much. But she is basically coming up with these nitpicky things when she's already seen this video. So that's hilarious. So I did laugh when she was saying, you know, right after this, I had my baby. And they, you know, are you excited to have your baby? And he's like, well, I don't want to have to look at the vagina. And she's, she's like, well, don't worry, because they, they numb you from the breasts down. So I could feel them sawing me and tugging me and ripping my vagina or whatever she was saying, like totally horrifying him on purpose. And then she goes, but I'm a mortician. So I do it too. I was like, Jesus Christ, are you actually going into work and cutting up all these bodies? Please tell me she's not. I know, I know. That can't be a hobby job. Please tell me you hire somebody else. Okay, so anyway, that's basically it. It was, and then next week, Nini is back. And even weirder that Nini is back. She like comes knocking on Cynthia's door and they're hugging. So go figure. I'm not sure what this is about, because I thought Nini was just there for a trip, but they haven't announced a trip. So who knows? Oh, who knows? But hopefully Nini can inject some life into this kind of boring season. It was interesting. The season was going along nicely. And then it kind of like hit a rut after they went to Miami. And now like nothing is happening. I wish they were following around the new people, like stop following Cynthia. No one cares. Stop following Tootie. She does nothing. Follow Tammy. I want to see Tammy. I like to else is new. So Mia, follow. She Mia. I want to see what these people are doing. Like, don't just drop these people in and then completely erase them because I don't know. I like that. I like when they follow Kim Fields, just because she doesn't do anything, you know, and she does like some stupid stuff. It's like, oh, got some peanut butter and jelly. You know, next week, she storms out of a million man March because it's not child friendly. Yeah. I mean, come on. Jesus, it's hilarious to me. Her mommy and me shit. So shall we have a palette cleanser with top chef? Let's do it. So what's funny to me is on the on the very first episode of the season, we talked about our experiences with these chefs, right? Because we were at the season premiere, like a challenge. And we said the one the one chef who gave us the most attitude was Giselle. So it cracked me up this episode when she was in the car and she was like asking the fat chef, well, one of the fat chefs something and he's being totally condescending to her. And she's like, it's just like, it's so weird because like, I just, I'm having trouble making friends here. I'm like, yep, called it, called it. And she literally said, I'm the nicest person here. We're like, I'm having trouble. She just wears her emotions on her face. And she's her emotions are that if a bipolar neurotic crazy bitch. So she can't help it. She's just, she's not a liar. And she's not like a vindictive mean person. She's just cray cray. And she can't hide it. And I actually ended up kind of liking her because of that. I know I did kind of feel a little bad for her. Because when we when we met her, I did not see her as someone who was like a scatterbrained mess, which is how she was portrayed. I just saw her as someone who was kind of like mean. Yeah, I started just as a bitch. I thought she was a bitch. I thought she seemed pretty self-possessed. But then when we started talking about her, everything that she was getting bitchy about were things that she felt like she was being questioned. Like, yeah, what about from this restaurant? Or do you know so and so and she started getting defensive. And it actually made me like her a little bit on the show. But man, I don't blame anybody for not wanting to work with her. What a mess. Yeah, this episode during Palm Springs and Art Smith, Oprah's chef and former top chef, he is back. And as his weight, I'm sad to say, because when he was on Top Chef Masters, he made this whole to do about, well, I lost 60 pounds, I lost 60 pounds, I lost 30 pounds, however much it was. And poor guy, it's back. Well, I don't know, he's old and married, who cares? It's like you're already successful. You're rich. What's the point of being thin anyway to get a husband and to make some money? You already did it. I thought he was going to be, I just, I thought he was, I thought he was on the path. I felt bad. But the thing is that Art Smith kind of annoys me sometimes. I feel like he's always like, when he was on Top Chef Masters, he really annoyed me. He just was, he was always just bragging about shit, nonstop. I mean, I know I'm one to talk, right? But he's the one who like, he was talking about Michelle Obama and Oprah and like, throw me nuts. I know. It's like you're going from Michelle Obama, the healthiest woman of the world to Oprah. Like, there's some neurotic cooking right there. Because you know, Oprah is like, how did you not know how to make a cake? Because he didn't, he'd lose on the wedding cake. Yeah, I'd make something cake rack, a huge cake rack. So this episode was all about gay marriage. And they basically got every queen in Palm Springs and was like, you want to get married again on TV? And they're like, all right. Because no queen who's waited this long to get married is going to do a group wedding. Okay, I know people like to think that gay just like group everything. But when it comes to wedding, I want my own damn cake. I'm sharing some fucking cake out of a box from art at a group thing outside in Palm Springs. Get the hell out exactly. By the way, remember Julia, my Australian friend, of course, she just got married in October at the same location as the group gay wedding. I just went to a Palm, lesbian Palm Spring wedding, crop top wedding dress this summer. And all locations look the same in Palm Springs. Yeah, it's like desert and then some rock garden and then a couple cacta. Actually, so but even before the gay wedding thing, there was a quick fire. And the quick fire was that they had to like, they had to use dates and like make something that reminded them of like a date, like going on a date. And I decided that the new chef that I really don't like is the guy with the beard because everyone was like, I remember my first date. I went and did this. You know, my date, like my idea of a day is like, it gets spicy and then on and then when him he's like, yeah, my idea of a date is like hanging out with my daughter. I'm like, Oh, shut up. Congratulations. You're dating your daughter now on national TV. Don't that's a cop out. That's a cop out. You don't want to talk about your date. You're supposed to talk about your date. You're on reality TV. Get out. Well, he can't just say I masturbate on a beanbag chair and then go to bed. Yeah. And then and then he had the nerve to only put the dates in his foam. Gleg is the bottom. Oh, and then what did he say is like, the foam reminds me of my daughters. It's a fucking spit foam looks like spit. It looks like a big wad of spit. Gross. That's gross on so many levels. I feel like I'm in a really bitchy state. This is podcast. I'm like going after everything. Well, we're supposed to. We haven't even mentioned Chrissy T got hi guys. How's Chrissy Teigen a supermodel? She looks like one of those fucking liquor girls who gets hired to like pass out liquor shots to think I'm not saying she's ugly. She's not ugly, but a supermodel should not have that much work done when they're that young. How old is she? She's not an old supermodel. She's like 25. She's from my space. That girl is all her face don't move and everything looks plastic. Not saying it's ugly. It's pretty plastic. That should not be a supermodel. You need to have Gigi looks. So Chrissy Teigen, if you want to come on the podcast, welcome. Get out of here. Who cares? I'll be a bitch then like I'm a bitch now, all right? I ain't a fake bitch. Yeah. No, I don't know. You know, people love Chrissy Teigen. Sometimes she, you know, sometimes she does things where I am like very amused. She sort of like says it like it is. But sometimes I also feel like she's keenly aware of her like her cool girl thing and it kind of annoys me. I like her okay in real life. The thing is I don't know her in real life at all. The only place I've seen her is now I've seen her here and that didn't do much for me. And then I saw her on that lip sync so pretending to spin records and making Muppets laughing faces which I just can't. And then when I found out John Legend was married to her. Oh my god. John Legend is amazing. When I think of him singing that beautiful piano song that is to her, come on now. I've actually heard she's really cool in real life. I've heard like really great things about her. But my hate is only two things based and it was this and that's really all I have is based hate. Well, believe it or not, I actually trust that she knows food. Isn't that weird? I think it's because of the bias I have because like every food blogger I know is Asian. So I'm like, oh well, she'll know food too. But they tasted everything. Yeah, Chrissy Deacon was just like she's doing her thing. And then you got very serious when it came to criticizing food. And I love when they get actors or especially models on here. Even though Padma's Padma, I'm doing it Tom Klicchio style. What do you think Padma? When they get an actor or a model and then they turn into foodies all of a sudden. And she's like, well, I really like the balance of the thing. Yeah, it's like a very nice bite of the market. Shut up. Get out of here. Rob Gronkowski was on there. He's like, oh, he's like, yeah, tastes good. And I like it. Great. Rob Gronkowski weighs in on his favorite like Buffalo meat. Oh, no, it was complete without the tasty French manicure down your throat when it's done. Oh, dessert. So then, uh, yes, they have like this challenge where they're going to make this wedding food. But wait, LOL at a guy making a date milkshake. Oh, yeah, I mean, come on now. We're on top chef. That guy is terrible with some fucking hogging does. Get out of here. That guy, like every challenge he always does something like very average. I'm surprised he's still there. And you know, the guy who won that challenge is the guy who served the poached chicken on the first challenge. And that was like the poached chicken with the radicchio that we really disliked during, uh, when we when we tried it, it was like, I mean, it was cooked perfectly, but it was such a bland. You can't even. Are you talking about the hot bear? Oh, my God. No, I'm talking. No, I'm talking about. I'm talking about the, um, the serious gay. You know, this, this year's gay on top show. Oh, yes. The guy who took PR pictures with like yellow pants, I can't with that. Yeah. He is the one, remember, when we went to the thing, he served poached chicken with radicchio and it was by far the blandest thing there all day. And we, and he actually, they actually liked it. The judges liked it. But we were like, this is the worst. We gave him really low marks. Well, I really love that there's a gay who's calling shit out without being a total queen. And he's kind of like a straight guy because gay guys don't wear yellow pants. Well, he's got that when we got equal rights. He's like, he like transported out of like 1964. He has like a haircut, like he lived from the atomic age. And he's like, very serious and not fun. And his whole thing is like, I'm in a pool with straight people and I am very uncomfortable in this situation. That's like his arc. And it's like, I am actually semi enjoying myself. And I realized it's not the straight people. It's just that I don't like being in water. I really, I'm starting to like him. I didn't like him too. But I'm really starting to like him because he seems good. And I love that he's calling people out because this show is a bit much for me these days. It's too much. I just want to see just stay in one place and cook shit. That's all I mean. I don't like that they just show you a picture of the food. And the rest is about their drama. Like, chefs don't even have enough hours in the day to have drama. Okay. Anything you're going to get is manufactured. Yeah. And I'm also glad that he, well, as I got into challenge, she was paired up with Angelina. And she's like this little chihuahua 24 year old is always like trying to prove her something bad. You know, like, like, I could go guys look. And he's like, you know, at this point in the season, even though I did not like his dish that he served to us in that first challenge, I actually trust that he's a very good chef. Like, I all the stuff he's made has looked really good and has like been more or less the judges have liked it. And so when he's like, okay, well, I have this very specific dish I want to make and Angelina can come along if she wants to. And she's like questioning him like over and over and over again. And you can see him just losing his mind. And like, I'm glad that he finally was just like snapping at her because she needs to like have, she needs to calm down. She needs to take a seat. Well, I don't like when any guy gay or straight is like, okay, calm down, baby or whatever. I don't like that. But for the most part, I like it, especially with Angelina, because I'm rooting for her because that's like the only job in the world where you're criticized for being too young. Every other job in this town, they're like, Oh my God, she came out of the womb. Get her an agent. Oh God, we'll talk to that baby. You know, but here they're like, Oh, you're so young, gross. So I'm rooting for her, but she's terrible. She's always I was I was rooting for her originally when we met her. Actually, I remember she was young. And I liked her. I liked what she made even though it didn't really get good grades. I liked it. And I was like, good, she I like the I always root for the onions, but she's now starting to grade on me. She's obnoxious. And she says really stupid things. She's like, I may look like a Chihuahua, but then when I get mad, like, I'm like a Chihuahua that like talks like a pit boat. Like she said something she said that she was trying to say, but it didn't make any sense the way she said it's Bueller. Yeah, I was like, basically, you're dissing my dog because Bueller is a Chihuahua pit bull bitch. Okay. And he can probably cook his taste buzzer better than yours. If I give him a French fry, he'll take it. If I give him dry dog food, he doesn't take it. It's called a palette. Okay, don't compare yourself to Bueller. It's called a palette bitch. He knows how to make a corn hash. That's right. He could barf up a bueller has literally buffed up a corn hash better than the one you made on this show. Meanwhile, so Philip, you know, Philip is this season's like, you know, noteworthy character. And he like makes a, he's supposed to make mashed potatoes. And instead he like puts them in a blender, which is what you're not supposed to do with with mashed chips because they get gummy. And then he puts them through like a foaming thing or whatever in the air or aerator. I don't know what, I don't know what it was. But he, it was like this gummy soup and Kwami saved the day. I'm so glad that Kwami's doing well. By the way, I thought he was going to like do badly because he wasn't in a lot of the preview for the season. And he looked so nervous when we met him. Remember how nervous he was? I was like, Oh God, this poor guy is going to flame out. And I liked his food so much that first day. And the judges didn't like his food that first day, remember? So we thought he was going to win that first challenge. And he didn't even come close. They were like reps. Yeah, they were like, wow, me could use some work. But since then he's been killing it. So I'm like so happy for Kwami. I like Kwami because he's a reality star with zero personality. And he's still doing well. And I like that. It's like overcoming all the odds. He was not hired for his personality. Like so Kwami, what was your most amazing day ever? And he's like, well, one time I made chicken and it was good. Okay, well, you still win, even though we're never going to put you in one scene of the show. Thank you. Thank you for coming on. Yeah, but no, everyone seems to like Kwami. So I'm happy. So this this gay wedding was, sorry, my mic's trying to get away from me. Sorry. Is it my breath, Mike? I crushed my teeth earlier. Kwami, we talked about him. Okay, Padma being the preacher of the gay wedding is the best thing ever. She's wearing a crop top preacher top. And she's like, hello, welcome to the homosexual marriage. Do you vow that in richness or and I can't say this, I don't believe in richness or do you believe as long as your husband stays? I just had my like drolly reading everything really slowly because you know her ass is getting high. I feel like it's the gay dream to get married by Pat Malachmi. I know that Madonna married a bunch of couples at the Grammys. That's fine. But I think Padma is the real dream. Ladies, I now pronounce you lady wife and lady wife. Gentlemen, I now pronounce you Gentlemen and gentle has been like, oh my god, please have Padma read every book on tape because I should we'll put the entire world to sleep. I love Padma so much. I really this week on Kiss the girls. Sorry, I got quiet. I was pulling in a gigantic entire city, London full of fog in front of my new stretch. Yes, I love this vape. I got the biggest deuce crutch ever vape and now I'm I'm blowing out London every time, but I'm probably gonna die by next year. So ultimately, almost everyone killed it with this challenge and they and they all like the judges were just loving all the food. But but there were the two missed two major missteps where basically Philip made his crappy mashed potatoes, which were more like a sauce, but no flavor. And then Giselle and the Boston lesbian whose name I can't remember, but I I'm a big fan of hers. They were in the bottom from like a bat for bad asparagus. And and so the drama, the drama in this episode was that then Philip back backpedaled and said like, yeah, the players were supposed to be like that. They're supposed to be like a sauce. And that's when that's when the the stiff gay was like, was like, no, that's not what you've said at all. He said it from the sidelines. He just like chimed in, which is, you know, the producers have been waiting for this. This is, you know, last season, the producers started putting the contestants on the side there during the deliberations. And to like to know a fact and finally someone spoke up. So you know, the producers were like, who did it first? Was it Giselle or gay guy? Because one of them called out first. I think it was Giselle. And then the gay guy dog filed on in Giselle was just trying to save her own ass. But it was so funny. He's like, dude, that's not what you said. No, that's not what you said you were going to make. And then the fame whore Philip is like, yeah, like what I was intending to do, like, because my art is all about like a sauce on a potato. And so like, that's my art. And that's like what I do because of art. So like, if you don't understand it, then like, you don't understand like artistic potatoes. So like whatever. Yeah, Giselle basically said, well, listen, we messed up and at least we acknowledge that we messed up and are open and we know to go like we can improve on it. Whereas Philip doesn't even acknowledge you did anything wrong. So how can you deal with that? And then that has to explain very slowly. You're crazy and boring. Phillip's crazy and endlessly entertaining. Bye. It's like, here's the problem. You're unlikable. Please pack your knives and go. Please pack your knives and your anti-psychotic meds and go. Yeah. And Gail, I like that Gail was anti-Giselle. His Gail goes, look, I get that Philip's disgusting and he's a cornhole. But Giselle did nothing. And also that Gail can show up at a wedding in lace and still be wearing a terrible pattern is amazing. I mean, that is some consistency. Even if it's just lace and her own skin, Gail will never disappoint in a bad pattern. Love you, Gail. Be nice to Gail. She's my dinner companion. I love Gail. So you would be my best friend. I would keep telling her, please don't buy that. And she'd be like, I'm independent. And I'd be like, all right. I'd be like, here's my crazy pattern friend. But when I told you about, and we would be like patting her on the head, like we've heard so much about you. We kind of failed because we could have totally talked to Gail. We never even tried during that challenge. Even actually, second time Gail years ago, like 12 years ago, wait, 10 years ago, I was working at a Moroccan restaurant called Chamois. And she came in with food and wine. And I got to talk to her. She was so nice. I didn't, I think it was right before Top Chef started. She was a really nice, like, she was like really skinny and young. And she was on her phone, like taking pictures and stuff like that the whole time. And then she brought a photographer and she was really nice. And I thought, how does this girl stay so small eating all this food all day? And it's because she eats one bite of everything and says yum a lot and then talks about it for 20 minutes. And then eats one bite of another thing. She's like perfect to be a judge on this show. Yeah, love Gail. So Giselle went home and I'm a good person and no one supported me. I'm the nicest person here. Bye, bitch. Bye. Next week, someone steals a lobster. Yeah, lobster gate, lobster gate in San Diego, lobster thievery next week on the real housewives of Top Chef. I'm looking forward to it. Okay, let's move on to Vanderpump rules. Yay. This is literally called the rose pad. Literally, it's literally like, who does that? Who puts roses on a puff? Buh-buh, isn't this nice? We're having a picnic on the rose pad. I brought a choice of stuff. Oh, should I have to be in salad? Oh, I don't know. Should I have some toast? Oh, God, I don't know. I can't decide. I just got engaged everybody on the rose pad. Someone said yes to a man in Caprice. I wrote down from my first note, I said, Katie and Tom picnicking already boring. These two are so boring. They are so boring, but I love they're picnicking in some public park somewhere. I think it's Griffith Park, but they're in some park and he's yelling in Caprice, not even kidding, that he's like, I just got engaged everybody. And then they cut to who's paying attention. And it's two gay guys coming out of the bushes. Yeah. Good. Only this show would have the guys who just got blow jobs in a bush as the only audience for this boring ass couple. Well, I liked that very soon into their conversation. Katie is like, I got a text from Stasi. And Stasi says like, I really I wish I could be there for that. Like, I really miss you. And I wish you all the best and all the love. I was like, Oh, it was like, I heard like a rumble of thunder somewhere. You know, it's like Lord of the Rings. Like, the ring has like emerged from the depths that river and has been found. And now like, I have so and has been has been opened, you know, and like, it's like, oh, bad shit has happened. Like, you can feel the forces of evil starting to like come back to life and circle around. And I was like, the first signs of Stasi is coming back. And sure enough, Katie, Katie starts talking about Stasi and she's like, I don't want anything to do with her. I was like, Oh, right. That's you saying that is like saying Beetlejuice three times. Like you've actually just summoned her by saying that. All Stasi has to say is you don't look like you've gained any weight. The end we're best friends again. She'll be like, that bitch all up and down. Yeah. This is fam. This is fantastic and fascinating. But I almost let the taquitos burn last night while I was naked on the couch. Run girl. So then we go over to surf and Christina and Faith are looking at this. This little, this little, this little cute little ring. Christina is barely containing her jealousy. Yeah, she's like, wow, look at the ring that you got. I cannot wait to talk about this on the podcast because she's like the Andy Richter for Stasi on the podcast. Yeah, oh, we should, we should, we should listen in on their latest episode again. I'll get that cute up in the meantime. All you see is a bring. Yeah, I'm so happy for her. Yeah, me too. The ring was like so pretty. Yeah, I know. Like I love the ring. Did you see it? Yeah, it was beautiful. Did you see the ring? Yeah, it was so pretty. Like if you were an alien, would you rather have Katie's ring or a candy ring? Oh my gosh, that's hard. Yeah, work really hard. I know, right? They're like the working class of America. I know. Hey, did you see Katie's ring? Does that, who gets a ring? Like seriously, like just a ring and no bracelet to like who does that? Like only aliens do that. I can't believe he proposed to her like three months away from my birthday. All right, let's listen on the latest episode. This is this episode of strip with Stasi. It's called holiday vacay and match the recap with co it cuts off with comedian Annabelle DeSisto. Who knows? Oh, there's no Christina. What the hell? Oh, well, we can just go to a different Christina episode. Okay, Christina Kelly calls Stasi. The description says Christina Kelly calls Stasi out for her app obsession. Okay, let's hear what this is for app obsession. Oh my god, we're going into a random moment because it literally was Sheikah's book. This is such a good outfit. And he's like, um, is that what you're wearing? I'm like, yeah, is it the best? It's also the worst. It's the first thing when you walk out. It's like, that's what you're wearing. Yeah, like Christina, all you do is say that's what you're wearing. That he goes, Hey, it's just, it's, you know, I love Stasi. I love that you dress girl hot. Like, I love that you like dress for girls. Yeah, you work that guest job today. I'm like, what? I love all this. I'm not going to your friend's bachelor party. Like, what do you mean? So I had to put on a mini dress in thigh high boots. Literally. That's literally And I feel like that's the only time I was told was like when he's like one of his bosses came in, like that I couldn't dress like a this is a saucer Christina talk, and I can't tell. That's nasty. Christina doesn't talk that much. It's really interesting because I dress for girls like I dress for girls. Like basically, we dress for each other and we don't dress for men. Yeah, that's why you won't get many dicks. You know, like I couldn't press you so much more with my with my clothes. If I didn't have boobs, like I can rock your world. Wow. Make them back. I'm sure you still have the receipt somewhere. I know. I get like you have that's a talent that you that you can do that. My mom keeps looking up. There's one plastic surgeons to get me a breast lift slash reduction. She's like a list of 10. So she's like coming here tomorrow to to show me the list of 10 doctors that she thinks. But the joke's on her because I can't read. So when do you think you're going to do that? Talking about like she's gone to Burger King. Is mid drinking wine? You can't even answer my question. Well, I don't know. The hard hitting questions of Christina Kelly and like figure it out. And yeah, I know this is happening. No, I mean, obviously, I know it's something you wanted. So listen, I just I see you're so great. I love that you're getting a wrestling chested because I feel like God. That sounds like I'm religious and I'm not. But I feel like there was a reason I was given big boobs and I don't want to throw it in whoever made that happen to me's face. So I will still have larger boobs. But I would prefer them to not be down to my navel. I don't want to offend God. I can't wait for them to look a little more like their girls that have size B boobs. Christina, this is what you're supposed to be saying. It's classic. Your boobs look great. I don't know what you're talking about. And fuller. Yeah. You know, like that that's what I want. I'd like them to just be like a tight a little bit smaller and lifted. Ultimately, I'm going to skip to a different part of the podcast. If I could say a little smaller and live in, I would have chosen to have no boobs and like a really cute butt. But you can't talk about the fact that you wish you would that you think your best choices would get more play if she didn't have boobs and then talk about how she wants to augment her boobs. I would kill you. Just because you tell you. No, you look perfect. Because I'm like, I feel like I'm being like the same way last week, when I came out with some girl with kids that are bigger than her, Christina, the day you get it, it's the day it stops. Yes, hashtag sucks. Just FYI again. I felt like I was being punked in this uber like car. Like it was like Jay Leno, like imagine how you feel. Got you because he kept going on and on about the fact that the government is trying to kill us because they need to control the population. And then my response was, well, you know what? I'm not mad at it because I've been sitting in traffic for like 40 minutes and I literally had five before. Literally like genocide is good for traffic. Just unfortunately, or fortunately, I mean, that's just how it is. But she will try not to leave you guys in the dark too much. I know I'm going to do my best to be able to say what I can say. I obviously can't, I can't piss off any. It's hard because obviously on a show too, when you're filming. Sausage is just talking basically. I don't even know what they're saying. That's like two days in a row. So I'm going to stand on our show. Right? Stossy. Full people into thinking you're talented. She's never one to hold back on any. All right. All right. Oh my god. I really wish that she had said I just want breasts that are smaller and more lived in because more lived in is like the best way to describe your career. I love that rack, man. It was totally lived in, you know, like those boobs don't look like they're just learning how to walk. They've been lived in like give me an old lumpy couch over some sleek modern bullshit any day. Well, I just I just like the idea of talking about breasts in like denim denim like descriptions, you know, like it's the boyfriend breasts. Well, I'm glad to know I'm not the only one with a mother who wants them to get a breast lift. No. That was kind of a hug. Well, it's good to see that that Stossy has a lot on her mind. And that Christina is there to support her at all at all at all junctures. Can we call this episode literally Sheikah's fuck literally Sheikah's fuck like I think I've got like a lot more attention from my fashion choices if it weren't for my breasts. Oh my god. Okay, so where are we? It's literally a road. So Jax, Jax is gonna be doing a birthday lunch. He's doing a luncheon at an Asian infused restaurant. That's what he called an Asian infused restaurant. It's like a restaurant that has Asians infused into it. Yeah, you know, I like like Asian infused stuff. Yeah, wow, you know, like fortune cookies. I guess that's more like a paper infused Asian thing. I don't know. So Ariana at this point, Ariana and she need to start to fight because because Ariana learns that Kristen is going to be at Jax's lunch. And she was like, Are you gonna be okay, Ariana? And she's like, Ariana's like, huh, I'm obviously not going and like seriously. I mean, obviously I'm being sarcastic. Are you being sarcastic? I mean, obviously I'm not being sarcastic. Obviously you're not a true friend. It's all obviously got the wrong tattoo. I don't understand what you're saying. She knew it was like a cartoon robot like short circuiting. She's like that little that little robot in Wally that like got confused when it went outside the lines. So Ariana is now trying to pretend like she's cool again. And she's saying, yeah, stop trying to make problems where there's no problems. Like obviously I'm going to go to lunch. And then it cuts to her being like, they're trying to put words in my mouth. And it's making me look like a bitch. Like these people aren't real friends because they're like trying to make something where it wasn't. You just said you wouldn't be anywhere that Kristen was ever again. And then you screamed and yelled. And then Tom's veins almost popped out of his Botox infused forehead, bitch. What are you talking about? Yeah. And so then she know I'm seen it goes. It's like fighting with a brick wall. Like even with this implants. It's like a lumpy brick wall. We're seeing the brick wall. I think would still win the argument. She know the brick wall would win a game of jeopardy. Yeah, she know. And the case of Shana versus the back wall at the improv. She now loses. And Ariana is off to the side laughing at everything she says. She's like, courtesan session. I said it. I said it laughing at her own jokes at the improv. So they go to the smoking alley, which is my favorite set piece of all brothel shows. It's like some Lowe's chairs in front of way too many motorcycles. Yeah. Like everyone in the kitchen wants to be dead at some point. And I'm someone who rides a scooter. And it's true. There's like something suicidal about it. But how many are there? It's like, how many bus boys on motorcycle are there? Yeah, a lot, a lot. So she and Katie start bitching about Ariana. And I love that they keep sort of like, like they don't want to say she's like sassy, but they want to say she's like sassy. Like, well, it's I don't want to say she's sassy, but she's like acting like sassy. Which again is like the some the clouds are circling. I mean, Zul is about to appear at the top of sir. Okay. So good. Hopefully it'll be played by a man. Yeah. So this Katie does say it though multiple times. She's like, this drama. I don't know. This just reminds me of like Stasi. Because remember like Stasi when Stasi like when Stasi did this because she's Stasi. It's like shut up. Stop saying saucy. We get it. Okay. Jesus Christ. How much foreshadow do we need? I know. Well, the thing is that it's a totally different situation because in that case, Stasi was, Stasi was angry at Kristen because Kristen slept with her boyfriend at the time. So Stasi hated Kristen and she got mad at anyone who was friends with Kristen to the point where she was unreasonable. She was like, I can't believe you hung out with Kristen. Like, I can't believe it. And she just like, you know, she made it really it's it's me or that man. She was out of control. But I feel like with Kristen and Ariana, Kristen actively went out of her way to hurt Ariana, to like to sully Ariana, called her names was really nasty to Ariana. We're Christian. Ariana fucked her boyfriend. Yeah. Well, but I'm just saying at least in terms of like what we actively know, you know, in court of law, darling. So, you know, I think that it's like it's more reasonable for Ariana to be like, well, I don't want it's like, I feel uncomfortable having Kristen being at my boyfriend's birthday party. I think it's like a reasonable request. And they're like, you're making you're like being saucy. You're putting me in a situation. No situation. Yeah, I think you're totally I think you're right that she's got. I mean, obviously, Kristen's not even in the cast. She's not even at the restaurant. This shows about people at a restaurant. So she's making men's she's mending fences. And then she does her like shoulder thing. What's that move? Do we ever actually officially label her move where she does that thing where she bends her cheek to her to her shoulder? She feels like she has like the half shrug. Just trying to help that like deal with it. I'm here. Yeah, she has that weird twitch thing where she's like half shrug and half like temple beating against her shoulder. Yeah, it's like she's like, sorry, seriously. So they're gonna have a well, I think what they mean, by the way, is just that it's like Stossie in the way that they're trying to ice her out of shooting. I think that they mean even that's probably that's probably what it is. Yeah, Stossie got in trouble because she was trying to control who's in shooting. And that's when they all get in trouble on these shows. It's like, you can be a bitch all you want, but you can't write the schedule for the day. Like, you're not the boss of anything. So when they start bossing around production, they're like, bye now. Yeah, exactly. Who knows. So next is, do we, let's see. Well, last talk to Rick and before Hawaii. Well, I love that Sina just blabs everything out in public. And she's always saying, I mean, I have another discussion. So there's no stress. And then the discussion is always yelling and screaming. She'll make a great middle manager. She should work in corporate America. Like, I think we should have another meeting. And I've never meeting to discuss yesterday's meeting. I was really unhappy about this PowerPoint situation. Like, who just is that fun? Seriously? I don't think that pointing is powerful. It's just like pointing. So like, what do you guys think of alternate titles? I'd like to have a meeting about Excel. Like, I don't understand because spreadsheets don't make me Excel. Like, they don't make me go faster. So why is it called Excel? I don't want to use Excel anymore because she's on a diet. We're trying to get to just L. So for now, let's just call it L sheets. Listen, you can't be eating Excel. So let's not use Excel. Okay. For our spreadsheets. All right. Someone start planning our future M. Okay. Hey, can we have a meeting to discuss outlook? Like, I want like, and look, I want people like, and why are we looking out? It's so stupid. You know, like, we're waiters. And if you're always looking out, it's like the customer can tell if you don't want to be at work. Like, here's my thing. Like, why is it that whenever I say and look out, everyone's like, no, use outlook. And I'm like, well, I'm trying to help people here. What kind of team is this? It's called outlook, and I've been walking around with lipstick on my teeth for half an hour. Thanks for out looking out for me. I like the current meeting to discuss file maker. Like, we've been using file maker for three months, and I've yet to actually make a narrow file. You guys, I want to talk about word. It's hard. I have a question. How come if it's called word, people keep writing things with like words? Is this supposed to be one word for file? I don't care. Oh, God bless you. Gina for president. So I'm looking old lady was dismissive of her friends. So basically what happened, then Lisa comes in. She finds Jacks, Tom, and Ariana, and again, it's more for sure. She's like, all right, everyone, I hear rumors through the country side, the hobbits are bit telling me. Stasi's been back from questioning people, asking for free drinks. She does not get a free drink. You see her, you send it to me. She's only coming back if she comes through in me, all right? I don't want her to finagle her way back into this circle. She goes through Vanderpump. She called me an old lady, and she was dismissive. I will not be treated like this again. It's like the revenge on Brandi forever mole. Yeah. And obviously it's Lisa Vanderpump. So what does it come back to you? All I want is for Stasi to acknowledge that I've done a lot for her. I did a lot. She knows what I did. It's like, good Lord, you hit a sex tape. Like see, like hit a sex tape link or something for Stasi at the finale. And now she's acting like she just rescued her from human trafficking. Yeah. Well, jokes on Lisa, because Stasi's already at the bottom. Sex tape would have helped her. Hmm. Oh, wait. I'd give a drink to a homeless person before I gave a drink to Stasi. Jacks, you have given so many drinks to homeless people. You know, you have. That's a jack slide right there. He's like, yeah, it's still doer. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. So Max and James Max is in the scene, which is crazy. I know Max got a lot of air time this week. Yeah. So they talk about whatever. They go to the Smarty Valley. Yes. Look at Valley. Love the vibe in there, hun. He's like, he's like music's great. A lot of people that love the vibe in there. Take a good look at that vibe, honey. This last time you'll see a look at it. I've wanted to come outside and smoke a cigarette, but the iTunes with let me go. So I said, listen here, iTunes. You don't control me, mate. All right, then, honey, good luck with your sugar tits, lady love. It's like George Michael of Wham is in there right now. The vibe is so good. Isn't it good, honey? Take a good look, sweet air. So Max is saying, the reason they didn't want you to go is because, you know, you're going to drink and you'll get your go. Well, actually, I'm sorry to interrupt, but my favorite thing was that Max actually said, he's like, well, you know, the reason why you haven't been invited to why is because, you know, because with Kristin not going and I think that if you go, it's going to be this, also you go, a ship when you drink. Because like this, it's like, oh, okay, there it is. He's so nice. He's like his dad at the end of the day. He's a little Ken. Every time I see him, even though he's not Ken's biological son, I see Ken every single time. Yeah. I told him you kind of quit. Oh, yeah, he's like, I'll quit. I haven't been drinking, or I would have had a couple beers, but, you know, it's nothing. It's like, I'm not mixing my meth with alcohol anymore. You can trust me. So that reminded me of when I was a kid and my parents wanted to send me to sleep away camp, and I was like, afraid to go sleep away camp. And I thought, I thought if I acted as a bet, like, if I was a better son, I wouldn't go sleep away camp. So my parents said that they wanted to send me to sleep away camp. I immediately went and, like, washed the dishes. I was like, there, now I'm a good boy. I won't be sent away. Oh, man. I'm a poor guy. That's why you get touched whenever we talk about southern charm. Tommy's! Tommy's. The sleep away camp was the best thing. I love sleep away camp. It was like, it was great. I highly endorse it. But anyway, James, though, he was like trying to get his way into this Hawaii trip. He's like, I'll have a pineapple fucking pin, you claw in my hand in no time. Just relax. You can get one at the bar. Yeah, you're the most obnoxious person on this show. You'll be on the trip. Okay, it'll work out. Yeah. So Christian goes to Katie's house. Wait, wait, wait. Wait, did I skip? What does it skip? I thought that this is when James goes to gravel to jacks, or maybe I skipped. Oh, no, no, you're right. I just had James written down again. So I scrolled. Oh, James, no, so then what happens is James is like, here's what I'll do. I'm just going to nod a few times. I'm going to get myself an invite because Jack's such a stupid idiot. I'm like, no, you're not wrong. Jack's is done. But you're making me take Jack's aside. Stop that, James. Well, thankfully there's Jack's to change your mind two seconds after it was changed. I know. He's so fucking stupid. It's so funny to watch James just work Jack's. And Jack's is he only thinks of one thing. Pussy. That's the only thing ever when people say, is that guy gay? No, all he's all he can think about is Pussy say. It's so funny. He's like, yeah, bro. But you know, like, like the other day what you did with Lala. Yeah. If I wanted to fuck Lala, I could fuck Lala. Okay, bro. It's just like, you know, like, you don't got to be all on her. Well, the funny thing is that James is like, I thought James was going to like, try to manipulate Jack's by like, suddenly being really nice him and helping him out with stuff. But say James is like, Jack's, I want a good Hawaii. Can I go? Well, I'm really sorry. I'm really sorry for saying those things before. Can I come to Hawaii now? Can I come to Hawaii now? Jack's. Well, you know, the only reason why I was doing that is because I wasn't sure. But, you know, I thought your girlfriend wasn't real. But now I see she is. So I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Jack's like, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Jack's is like, fine. Then Jack's, of course, is like, so, I mean, James is like, so now she's like, well, I should be invited. Jack's me the right choice, because now I'll be banging Lala and Jack's won't get into trouble. You're welcome, Jack's boy. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're through a mess, Jack's boy. Every time he says Jack's boy, I'm like, well, he reminds me like a privy old British guy. Yeah. And he does that licklet too. He does the Carl Richard. I mean, in Kyle's face, you know, there's no feeling on our lips. It's like when you're just getting out of the dentist and you're just looking to make sure they're still there, you know? Yeah. He does that too. That like really hard snake poke on his lip. He's like, yeah. He's gonna grow up to be that like crazy British guy who followed the women into the pub on Ladies in London after the hunting trip. That's what he's gonna do. But the best part is, though, after Jack invites him, Jack tells us he's like, well, you know, I need to practice what I preach. And if I don't forgive James, that'd be a little bit of a hypocrite. I was like, since when do you care about being hypocrite, Jack's like, that's your whole life is being hypocrite. I'd be more concerned if you were consistent. When have you either practiced anything or preached anything, please stop using that term incorrectly over and over again. So now, Kristen visits Katie. And Kristen goes, I've never seen him. Is he invited to Hawaii? It's the dog. Seriously, dog? Seriously? I guess you didn't do anything to Ariana, huh, dog? Seriously, this dog could work at sir. It's hot dog. Hot dogs. Seriously? I just made a joke. I'm starting comedians in Katie. Yeah, she should totally be that back in because she was nice to me. Like, I showed her my scrunchie vision board and she was like, yeah, that's like a business. She's in whatever. And then Kristen tells us that, well, Katie gives her credit for being the matchmaker, which I don't know how long that's going to be a thank you to Kristen. But yeah, Kristen was roommates with Tom and Jacks. And that's how they all fell in love. She's like, literally like Tom and Katie are like literally the same person. I was like, it's like masturbating. Like, just do it. Like, just lock your door into it where I can't see, you know, shrug, shrug, shrug temple banging on the shoulders, right? Sorry, they're masturbating. Can't go in there right now. Sorry. And she also says, well, look, I talked to Stasi this morning and she's like, fun, totally heartbroken because she should like be here. Like, remember when we used to like, gather on the couch and we used to watch all those YouTube engagement videos. Can you imagine those girls doing that? I can, which is was terrible. Stasi's like, ew, why are you marrying him? He's fat. No, say no. Look, comment, comment to be fat. Literally, you should get your breasts lifted. Like, what are you doing responding to a proposal with low breasts? Seriously? Who does that? Literally, this engagement is chic as fuck. Seriously, where are the aliens? I'm going to brunch. Sorry, I ended the scene. I'm going to brunch. Well, Kristen, while they start ranting about Tom and Ariana again, and Kristen's like, seriously, get over it. Go pack a bikini. Go what? She says, go pack a bikini. Like, that's her insult. Like, just pack a bikini. Your toilet is ready. Seriously, get over it. You know what? Some people don't like when the trash bag, like, the trash guys come by at 9 a.m. in the morning going beep, beep, beep, pick up the trash, but like, just pick your trash outside. Like, good one. Seriously? Separate your recyclables. Seriously? When people ask me paper plastic, and I'm just like, just put it in paper. Like, seriously? Seriously? They do it for you, so like, you can just all go into the sandbag. Seriously? Seriously, fluff or fold? Both. Seriously? Like, don't take out your trash right away, because the raccoons might get into it. Seriously, raccoons? It's not your trash. So dumb. So Lisa and James, Lisa, again, being inserted into every scene, and I'm loving it. Yeah, darling. Here we are by the schedule on the fridge. Yeah, that's like the new, like, hotspot of sir, the fridge. I mean, you know that's like corner in there. That seems to be like a corner of Lisa's house, you know, that they just transformed into the set piece, so she can be like, all right, you know, clear the, clear the geese. I'm coming down to film the fridge scene, darling. Someone gets me a new awesome powers outfit. Thank you. Like, oh, here we are at the schedule. The fridge looks lovely on the outside. Someone's been cleaning the fridge. All right, remind me to give Max five more percent of the tip tonight, telling, telling. What about Hawaii? What's about the group trip, darling? To Hawaii? And so James is saying that, yeah, I want to go because Lola's going, and it's a hot bag, a hotness. I want to play that like a tickle, the ivories and the book back rack times. So James, Lisa's like, don't treat Lala like a trophy. Be nice to Lala. Darling, Lala is a young woman who works here and in the street and on poles and on boats in Saudi Arabia. Darling, listen, that woman has earned her load. Leave her alone. He was being disgusting, though. Like, he really was like, I'm going to win Lala. I'm going to win here over. I'm like, this is not a cheesy 80s comedy. Like, this is a real woman. It's Lala, but she's still a real woman. And then even like, then, you know, he's going to go, he wants to go with Max and she's like, who's going to take Calve Max? And he's like, I'll take Calve Max. She's like, who's going to take care of you? He's like, Lala can take care of me. And then he sticks out his tongue like a pervert. I was like, oh, you just did that to your boss. What's wrong with you? And of course, Lisa loves it. She loves a cad. Yeah. Jax is like her favorite. So yeah, exactly. She says, all right, then, look, now, I know you're going to do something stupid, but don't do anything permanently stupid, darling. Well, all right. Well, get woman pregnant, then don't know, kiss her pregnant. I'm just saying, don't leave her pregnant, darling, permanently stupid would be a baby. All right, a pregnancy is temporarily stupid. All right. Do you understand, darling? I think so. But what if the baby can cover my shift? All right, then it's on, darling. It's faith. Nice. She knows me. Think about faith. Oh, no, she's black. Oh, how odd. She works here. She's black and she works here. Make sure that she put Lala in between her and Max. All right, then. So then, um, then, so Lala faith and, uh, she can go bikini shopping where we, where she's not really like, you know, she brings her a game. Like, she really, she, my favorite quote at the scene from her says, I think this is a bra, but I could totally be a bathing suit. Deep thoughts from she and Marie. Raw bathing suits were kind of my thing. It's a crop top from my renewal ceremony. I think this is a bonnet, but I think it could also be a half a bathing suit top. This is a pumpkin, but it could also be underwear. This swim cap could be summed together with another swim cap and be an amazing bathing suit. This is a water pitcher, but it could also be a tea pitcher. This is a gongle, but it could also be a pill holder for shang. Oh, oh, she. Girls and fiancees. Okay, so they're talking. So Lala is like, yeah, so like, I'm really excited to go to Hawaii and just like, you know, like a dick, maybe Jackson's dick, maybe James's dick, maybe all of the bus boys, like whatever, Dick's like, I don't care. I'm going to be drinking. You know what that means? Woohoo, boobs. Look, I have hearts on my nipples instead of a bikini. When you've got Sheena saying, girls like flirting with everybody at some parasite. Yeah, it's not good. It's not good. I mean, listen, you don't want someone from Azusa to be your moral compass, okay? You don't want the girl who had an affair with Eddie Sibrian on purpose. Yeah. And gave Brandy life to be judging you of all things. I mean, that's like the greatest sin in the world. Well, then Lala does this bullshit where she says, like, yeah, I told Jackson get in my bed, but I didn't say fuck me. Like, oh, come on. Don't expect a mantic Lala. Yeah, the second time. Oh, I'm sorry. No, no, no, no. You go. Oh, I'm such an ass. I'm sorry. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. It was a blessing in disguise. I was going to make a half big joke. It is good. It was bad. I'm glad. Sorry. I was just going to say, it's the second time in this episode, someone's told Sheena to stop putting words in their mouth. And to me, that's just the most hilarious thing of accusing Sheena of. Sheena can't put words in her own damn mouth. Yeah. Like, how is she orchestrating everything? She just puts fanatics in their blood in their mouths. Bitch doesn't know how to say Chilean sea bass yet. It's not going to be putting anything in anybody's mouth anytime soon, especially Shay's God bless his heart. So then for the visual metaphor of the episode, we cut to Jack's shitting with the bathroom door open. Just shitting while Brandy, she's just like folding a towel or something. He's just shitting, letting his stank just flow it into the studio apartment. Well, look, the girl's like from a really tiny mining town in Kentucky. I'm sure hanging laundry next to somebody who's shitting isn't really that far from her reality. She's just like, it's an everyday thing. She's like, I'm folding up laundry while the man's shitting, talking just another day at the stream. Yeah. The stream and Jackson's of course reading. The stream. I get sound like it's like the opening of like the butler or something. You know what's so funny? Your stomach muscles look like a washboard that we use in the stream. It's crazy. Yeah, they're washboard abs. So, except it's like, we don't really have a washboard. We just have this one big rock. That's what it looks like. One big round thing. His rockboard, his rock wash. He has a bossy ball. He has a bossy ball for stomach. A wash boulder stomach. A wash rock stomach. It's a wash flap. We'll workshop that. It's more of like a ham. We've got a lot of homework today. We have a lot of we have a lot of Kristin's head tick. We have to have a name for that. We'll solicit. We'll solicit. You know, I can't, I need Sheena to put words in my mouth. Sheena, where are you? Well, something neither of these people have ever done. Homework. That's what we've got ahead of us. So, basically, they're talking and she's saying, I talked to that girl, schoolena, and she was telling me that there's a girl named Leller, and Leller is flaring with you. And she says she's addicted to it. Now, look, I know lots of people addicted to things. And that's something we should talk about. Jackson's like, she's like, I hear she's coming to Hawaii. He invited her to Hawaii. Jack's like, no, I didn't invite her to Hawaii. Cut to Jack's. Hey, you're welcome to Hawaii. Like, one of my favorite things of this show for four years is Jack's blatantly lying. And then the producers being like, actually flashback every single episode. Jack says something and then lies about it. He's like, compulsive wire. I love it. And then he like puts his head in his hands like, oh gosh, this girl is already this much of a bitch. Dude, you can't complain about moving too quickly when you just shit in front of her. I mean, for Christ's sake, you're on TV, man. Close the door. Listen, he's trying to scare her away. He's like, I'm trying to do everything. I'm even like defecating in front of her and she still hangs out. I know. And he's doing it in front of us. And notice that when he finishes, he stands up and tries to get a dick shot in. Like he angles. It's like only Jack's would try and get a dick shot in right after he pooped on camera. Come on. Come on. And Jack's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So is this lunch now? Birthday lunch. Lunch of the year. You know, this isn't going to go well, because it's sort of a place called Asa. Yeah, the place is already closed too. I'd like to add. It's like some second rate fake rich place. Shut up. Yeah. Awesome. So they have like $30,000 of jewels, like in the doormat of the restaurant. So yeah. Sorry. Just got it. I was like, what? Little season one reference. People are allowed to wear burgers or not. I mean, it's just depending on what you consider freedom. Okay. Women's rights. Freedom is just another word for nothing left to hide in the front stoop. Las Vegas seafood buffet. Best publicity that place ever got was a weird protest. Yeah. And David Bowie. So Kristin. So now it's this lunch and it's Jack's birthday lunch. And the whole everyone's there. So Kristin, of course, you know, you can't have a lunch with Kristin without her doing something super passive recipes. Well, since I'm not cool in Hawaii, I decided to get you laid, Jack's. And here's a lay. And she like gives lays out. You can't expect a horse face to show up at lunch and not shift the table. Yeah. And then of course, Tom takes it too personally. He's like, yeah, that's so Kristin. Like she shuts up at lunch and like she has to make me look like an ass like, let it go, right? I thought we were him. I just would have laughed at it because it was so ridiculous. And then we so by the way, the luncheon is like inner cut with like the B team because you know, there's like the A team and the B team and the B team are like the young kids. And it's basically James and Lala and it was faith there too. Yeah, faith. They go to visit Max at Vida Rosa because Max woke up got lightheaded and basically fainted in the bathroom and his like he hit his mouth on a wooden ledge. His whole mouth went into the wood like his tooth was splintered into the wood. It's one of the worst mouth traumas I've ever seen. I'm like, have you seen Sheena? That's what she was saying. You were doing Sheena. She's like, I've looked in a mirror that time I chipped my tooth. So they go to like visit Max because he's he had to go to the dentist and have all this stuff. And of course, what I loved is that when they're walking over the little bridge, Hanky totally grunted at Lala. He did. Yeah, he was like, she's been nice to all the bitches that have come across that bridge on Beverly Hills and Vanderpump Rules all season long. But Lala comes in and vankey's like, Oh, so far it's just la, la, and Kyle. I'm Hanky shit. By the way, Hanky literally has a shit list because he'll walk up to you and just shit on you. Yeah. Hanky darling, please this time do not project our shit all over Kyle. Right. So there's concern that Max can't go to Hawaii because he has to see his doctor with the whole face situation. So now James is like, my plan is ruined because if Max is in Hawaii, he won't be able to occupy faith and then faith is going to want to hang out with Lala and I won't be able to bone Lala and everything's going to be ruined. I'm like, what is this 80s movie and when can I see it? Cause I really am intrigued. My plan is for faithy girl to go round the bend and get off at any time. Gorgeous goals for a little max and max and then max will get max million when the end of them. Jesus, please be quiet Robin Leech for crazy. I know. You're going to bone someone who's basically just told the entire world that you have the penis of a pinky like finger. God bless you. It is kind of amazing though because this show has set up really a perfect 80s comedy plot, right? I mean, I just don't know who the protagonist is. I think maybe Max and Faith are like they are like part of this plan. You know, you have, you have the Dweebie guy who's trying to get with the girl but she's into the other guy. So she can just trap her like I'm like, this is a great movie. I just don't know who the protagonist is. There's just no Molly Ringwald in this movie. They're all terrible. They're all the terrible ones. There's not even a ducky in this movie. I mean, he's cute enough to be ducky. Max maybe? I guess if we don't have a hero, there can't be a ducky. Like who else is ducky going to be masturbating to? All right, who makes her close out of thrift store things? Homework. That's number three. I'm homework. I've never seen. I've never seen by the way. Pretty in pink. Oh my god. I just pooped myself. If the Lisa Vanderpump story, darling. So by the way, we met pretty in pink, darling. We met a, we met a new housekeeper, by the way. No rosio. It was Maria Maria. She brought tea and bagels. Was that the one that walked up the hill last year when Lisa was interviewing people to give rosio a day off or something? And she's like, this one is sweating like a pig, walked all the way up a hill, climbed over the gate because I refused to answer the door, got shot on by a hanky, got slapped by Kim's statue out front. I'm hiring her. Like she interviewed all these people and then interviewed, you know, ended up taking the one who had like climbed and done all this shit. That was her. I actually literally don't remember any of that. I just assume any, I assume any cleaning lady that was on the street was Lydia's daughter. She's the only cleaning lady that's been left out of the house. Oh my god, I've rescued your daughter. Okay. So, so she is a back to luncheon. She, I mean, she is really out of, she just loves the gossip. I mean, hey, it's what gets her on the show. She just full on tells the whole table like, Hey, so well, that sounds that James has a small penis. Did you hear that? I'm like, you know, you're seeing it right off his ex-girlfriend, Kristen right there. And then the best at that question is like, yeah, I feel like Lala's type is anything with a dick, regardless of shape or size, her color. I'm like, so you're making fun of James, like Lala, if I go with James with a small dick, you know, you dated him for a year and a half, right? Well, that's Kristen. Maybe it's not known for being that big either. You know, until people get like a really gigantic one, they don't know what they are. It's true. They think, you know, you think they're all like the one you've got at home. They're not. Oh, so yeah, that was hilarious. She was like, Oh, yeah, James was a tiny penis. Okay, so then pool, Lala and faith are topless. And she's like, Oh, we're so crazy because we're like topics in our bosses pool. Oh, yeah. Which is the bold move, by the way, to do that. I guess it's Lala. It's Lala. The biggest news here is that faith did not take a couch out of the living. It's all been a route to get a couch. And great news. Max is going to Hawaii after all. Yeah, so good. So what else happens in the next thing? I'll tell you, because these are a bunch of waiters and waitresses, they, of course, find the smoking alley for the, for the, for the Asian infused restaurant. I know it's the same thing, right? Tom walks straight to the smoking alley and they've got the same blows patio furniture out there. Yeah. So Tom, Tom goes out there, then Chris and follows. And what she had, what she had explained to us was she wants to have a conversation with Tom to be like, listen, I don't want there to be tension. I'm going to be hanging out. And like, what, what else can I need to make this easier? That's what she said she wanted to do. But instead the conversation was, I'm going to be around. So, yeah, yes, you get over it. Okay. I'm going anywhere. I'm going to be like, truck, the goat, horse, and I'm sorry. The around truck. I'm going to still like being the street truck. I'm going to still like maybe adopt a pet once a while to shelter. Like you're not going to get rid of me. Like kid is, kid is getting married. I'm maybe planning stuff. So like, yeah, I think it's Tom's like, I feel like I could, I could send Tom's frustration because it's like, dude, I don't care. I'm okay with you being around. I just don't want you on my birthday trip because you're my ex and you're crazy. I don't want you at my birthday. Well, let me be around. So it's like get over it. And he goes, you're going to help plan the wedding. And then meanwhile, Sheena is like, Ariana, I think we should have a conversation. I opened up a conference room for us. So now Ariana and Sheena, and I think maybe Katie, they go and they have a conversation. And then they're like, so we want to be friends with Kristin again, because the producer told us to be friends with Kristin again. So yeah, we like Kristin and you're, we're not saying you're sassy, but you're kind of like sassy. And then it turns into this. Yeah, so I just don't like people to question my integrity and my character. She's like, I don't like people questioning characters like an integrity. Like that's what I don't like. And then Katie, I don't like people questioning my that character. That's all so fucking stupid. And then Ariana goes, yeah, but like they were literally questioning my integrity and my character. So like me not being friends with Kristin is that's what I call integrity and character. Even your mom called me. She right stopped to me and she was like, Ariana, okay, because she's a bitch like she's being a bitch. So yeah, like I went to the cemetery and the tombstone said, here lies the father of a bitch. Is that how you want to be remembered? Hey, I call the guy who runs the bouncy house and he's like, oh, wow, I just blew this bouncy house up for a bitch. Just saying. This is what he told me. And I have to point out that Shina also said earlier in this episode. She was like, you guys, Maxis Mount trauma was the worst thing I've ever seen. He's like on serious drugs. She don't ask for any. Yeah, she's like, oh, I've already taken some. How how the hell do you think I'm surviving this lunch right now? I love the support of wife making drug jokes at her, you know, one week sober husband or whatever the hell. So good. So now as the episode ends, they all arrive at LAX because they're about to go to Hawaii. And it's like a whole group of them. And James, I mean, James and Lala, they are like, they're at the terminal, like making out at this at like self check, like, hey, you know what really changed me on? Little computers. They really turned me on so much, especially this paper. Yeah, this just computer just asking me to stick it in and pull it out real fast, babe. Yeah. This computer wants to know if I have any dangerous goods in my bags. I was like, the only thing that's dangerous is my tongue. Like, get over here. I'm going to fuck Lala and what better place than Hawaii? Like, how about an ASPCA? This sort of tiny computer just asked me if I had baggage. And I said, never got rid of Christian, but I've got tons of my sack. Hey, babe. Yeah, darling. This computer just asked me what seat I wanted to have. And I said, I want Lala's seat. Like her butt. Is there any way to sign Lala's seat on my face? Yeah, babe. It's right, darling. I want a seat in first class. Except I call it first ass. Yeah, Lala. So I want to sit. I want to sit near the galley. And by galley, I'm talking about Lala. She's my little galley. Hey, Jaxie boy. Hey, and then meanwhile, they like have this like montage them on the plane. And he's literally like on top of her in the seats, making out with it. I was like, have you never been to an airport? What is wrong with you? Well, you're either going to watch those two acting like idiots and laughing, or you're going to see some 40 year old dude walking through the airport with mom hair heater. Get rid of that mom hair. I don't need it to be long again, but commit you are not a young mother. Okay, so either cut it. Please, please, like, you look like a 1990s bit actress on lawn order right now. Just like, like, if you're going to cut your hair, don't do that, that, that little like carry low L bit. Just like, you know, like, you look like every role Donna Murphy has played on lawn order, dude. Stop. Okay. And you're like that person on Southwest Airlines that I would see and immediately not want to sit next to because I know you've got 20 children running around screaming on the plane because you got mom hair, dude. Peter, you literally have the same hair as seal award on season three of sisters. That was not a good season for Silla Peter. Although she did wind up with George Clooney that season. Don't never forget George Clooney and seal award sisters. Suzy Kurtz also. What a great show. Oh my God, that old battle acts. You know, I love Suzy Kurtz for just not giving in to the whole facelift thing and then see what happens. Someone calls her a battle acts, but it's better than a blow up. She has. Well, you know, my Suzy Kurtz story, right? No, but I will in a minute and I'm dying to know it. There's a good way to end the episode. So I tweeted something about Suzy Kurtz and like three months later, the Huffington Post, I guess, found the tweet and was like, Hey, we're having Suzy Kurtz on. Why don't you come on? We wanted you to come on Huff Poe live and you know, we're gonna have you like talk to Suzy Kurtz. So I thought like, you know, I thought I was gonna be like a panelist, you know, because you know, we're podcasters, bloggers, we know every now and then these things happen. Also lightning strikes for you in that way all the time. You make a video on a plane, they ask you to come on Fox to talk about every time you do shit like that, it hits. It's so crazy. So I'm like, cool. I'm gonna be on like a panel of Suzy Kurtz. I love sisters. They're like, okay, great. So here are like, we need you to like come up with like three questions and send them to us. We're gonna vet them. So I write a question, I write a question, some question, they're all about sisters, you know. So one of the questions I said was, would you have ever thought that sisters would be such a hot bed for finding like Hollywood talent? Because you know, Paul Rudd came there Ashley, George Clooney, all these people. And so I just wrote as a joke and they came back to me like, okay, here's the question we want you to ask Suzy Kurtz. Like, like, what was it like working with George Clooney? I was like, oh, okay, fine. So then the, it comes time for like, for like the show. And I find out that I'm not like a panelist, is that they're going to skype me in. And it's gonna be me and like two other Twitter fans. And now I'm like, oh, I'm not like with the people. Yeah, I'm like, I'm not like a panelist. I'm just like a crazy person from the internet who loves Suzy Kurtz now. I was like, okay, all right, well, I'm gonna do this because it's sort of funny as Suzy Kurtz, but it's still strange. So the show starts going and Suzy Kurtz is talking about something. The first Twitter person, literally, she's on the air of Hufflepo live and her mom walks in with like a basket of laundry. I was like, oh my God, I can't believe this is like, I'm being associated. Like, I'm gonna be like, like a crazy Twitter person who is like, would be expected to have a laundry basket coming through. So she asked her question. Then it's like, then they're talking to Suzy Kurtz again, the interviewer and the producer is like, okay, Ben, you're gonna be asking your question in like, you know, in like a minute after this talking point, you're gonna ask a question, we're gonna tell you, get ready. I'm like, okay, great. So the guy is like asking Suzy Kurtz something random and out of nowhere, something possesses Suzy Kurtz to announce that in the 60s, she had an abortion and she's never told a soul. She's not told anyone and she just, it sort of like comes out and she's like, well, I, I can't believe I just said that. And then she starts talking about it and it gets really serious. And they're asking her questions. And was it George Clooney's? No. So she's like, talking about it. And she's like, wow. And this is something that actually made national news. It was like, Suzy Kurtz had an abortion. It was like a big deal. And she's like, wow, this is, it's crazy to talk about it. Yeah, yeah. And then they're like, and now we have Ben from Twitter. And I was like, what's it like to work with George Clooney right after her abortion confession? She's like, well, it's better than an abortion, Ben. It's better than an abortion. The look on her face, she was like, yeah, he was great. You know, she's like, I just confess about abortion. And he's asking about George Clooney. What are you supposed to ask? Have you ever taken an AIDS test? Like, what is going to be more awkward than that? What do you ask? It was like, I can't believe my one moment was Suzy Kurtz. I had to ask her the stupidest question on the heels of her abortion. Well, that's her own damn fault. She set you up for failure. No one starts with abortion. That's what you end with, Donning. Donning, just like this podcast. I would have asked her, what about love Sydney? What was up with that? I know. And just let her go. I'm sure that would have led to George Clooney abortions. You know, you just have to have the right entry, Donning. I should be like, how did you feel about your funny about your Ashley Judd playing your stepdaughter and her like running out for the Paul Rudd and then like, Hey, what did you think of Ashley Judd and kiss the girls? It's a call back to our bonus episode. So anyway, full circle and it's 4 20 p.m. What a time to end. Wow, that's a sign guys. So if you've made it this far onto the podcast, congratulations. And now what you should do is you should go to Patreon and sign up so that we can listen to our bonus episode about making a murderer. It's super fun and we'll get you riled up really up. So thank you all for listening. Please subscribe to us on iTunes. It helps our stats and our everything go up. And when that happens, we can grow as a podcast and do more and more stuff for the show for me. And thank you to everybody who's been going over there and leaving good reviews and stuff. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. They're like little love letters that we can keep forever. I know. I think I think someone said that the more comments we get, it makes us go up in the rankings, which is really cool because I love it when our show is wedged in between NPR and like ESPN. We're professionals too. Me too. So last week, one time it was how to make a murder or making a murder or making a murder, making a murder. Watch what happens. Making a murder or making a murder. I'm like, I love this country. It's like bitches on Bravo and murder. Yeah, I love it. I love it when we can like share students with a professional podcast. So come to do all that stuff. And thanks everyone for listening and we will talk to you later this week. Bye. If you like Watch what Crap is, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. 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