Audible's best of 2024 picks are here. From memoirs and sci-fi to mysteries and thrillers, Audible's curated list in every category is the best way to hear 2024's best in audio entertainment. Like a stunning new full cast production of George Orwell's 1984. And first of all, Everett's brilliantly subversive James. Audible, there's more to imagine when you listen. I actually am really excited to hear George Orwell's 1984 again, because last time I read that was back in, I don't know, middle school or something like that. And the world has changed so much with technology and everything like that. I feel like now is the perfect time to revisit and listen to it on Audible. Especially when it's told by a full cast like that, like it's a full production. It's going to be like a radio play, you know, that's major. Go to Audible.com/crapins and discover all the years best waiting for you. That's Audible.com/crapins. 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For Hers.com/crapins, hers weight loss is not available everywhere. Compounded products are not FDA approved or verified for safety, effectiveness, or quality. Prescription required restrictions apply. Watch what Crapins would like to fake its premium sponsors. Marvin J. and Kristi Doherty. We love you! Hey everyone it's me Ronnie, before we started this. Hey everyone it's me Ronnie. Before we start this very special end of the year, Crapy's episode. I wanted to just send you over to patreon.com/watch what Crapins. All the ringers are going up today. Last month, January, they're all up there. I've actually added them right after this message. You can actually hear what they are because that shit's hilarious. And now when I get texts, I have darling, darling, darling. And you should too. Come to patreon.com/watch what Crapins to subscribe. There's lots of stuff there, our bonus episodes, etc. And also we just want to take this moment to say thank you you guys who have subscribed over there have really given us a year. We never thought we would have doing a stupid podcast from couch desk and an apartment across from MJ's respectively. This is so much fun. I have a life that I sit around and snark on people literally in my underwear and I just I'm so grateful. So thank you guys so much. Go to patreon.com/watch what Crapins and here are the ringtones you'll be getting. You better have a shot of espresso. Ronnie and darling. Bitch. Where's the tuna tartar? You're fucking nasty flots you are. There's a skype pool. Oh, this is so awkward. She's being such a bitch. Gotta keep it going. Gotta keep it going. La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la. Darling, it's feaches. You're such a witch. Welcome to the third or fourth annual Champion Wars. According to the crappiest crappin' drop. Diorios. Ronnie Karaman, Ben Mandelter. Guys, guys, thank you. Sit down, guys. Sit down. Have a seat. Wow, Ben, here we are. Another year at the crappies. Wow, and what a great attendance. You know, the audience looks wonderful, but don't they always? God, Ben! I'm so glad to be here. We've been doing this for so many years. We don't even know what year it is. Like, what number this year's in the year? Three or four, three or four, number three or four. We've got a huge show for you tonight. Lots of special guests coming on to present awards to be in clips of the awards. And hopefully, none of them will be chopping our heads off. Gase, you didn't see it. I'm making a gesture like my head's getting chopped off. It's just getting a hook, but that suggests earrings, and I don't want Kyle's children to have nervous breakdowns. All right, guys. All right. So, we'll be your couple of studs for the evening. Well, is this audience already dead? We killed the audience. They're happy. They're happy. The audience takes a second sometimes to get going. You know what I'm saying? We've been five minutes into this, and we've murdered the entire audience with terrible cat skill chips. Just show the boss. I think we got the audience back. This is like a Golden Globe audience. They're just drunk. They're gonna laugh and clap at whatever. I like it. All right. Well, well, Ronnie and I have put a lot of time and effort into creating and the nominees, choosing the nominees in these categories. We have a lot of nominees. We have a lot of categories. So why don't we get started, shall we? Let's do this being what do you want your first category to be? Well, let's start with worst wedding drama. The big one. There were a lot of terrible marriages this year on Bravo, and a lot of good drama to accompany them. Absolutely. Shall I read these nominees? Sure. You do it. Okay. So the nominees for worst wedding drama are Reza and his team gay, Lauren Manzo, Tamara and Jesus, Demetria and Greg from Blood, Sweat, and Heels, and Sheena and Shay from Vanderpump Rules. Okay. Well, let's talk these over, shall we? Okay. Well, Reza and his team gay did not get married. They're going to get married. But, you know, that was really sad drama, because Reza planned this beautiful trip to a zoo, and then, I mean, the zoo in Thailand, and then the team gay didn't even get invited. Yeah. It was going to be their special moment with the tiger. That was their dream. And then Reza went without him. The free-balling that almost killed a wedding. Like those two almost didn't get married, because tame gay likes looking at guys and shorts without underwear on. I mean, how much more tame can you be? That's just fetish. It's not a bad fetish. It's not a bad fetish. It was online. Was he looking at like piss porn, like people pissing on other people? No, people in underwear. I can just imagine Adam walking through at Nordstrom's just getting boners in the underwear section, you know. Did you used to do that as a young closet, tame? Oh, I mean, I still get the boners. Through the underwear? When I go to the underwear section? You do? Oh, no, no, not there. But, you know, the thing is with the boners is you never know when they're going to strike. You're not 40 yet. You know. So then we also have Lauren Manzo, who gets worst wedding drama because she is the worst, and she had, you know, we actually didn't even watch her wedding drama. We just, she just automatically gets a spot on this list because she had a wedding and she's the worst. And also, I can't approve of anybody who loses 100 pounds to marry a fat person. Like that's the craziest thing I've ever heard. Like, why would you lose weight to marry an obese person, girl? Yeah. I mean, you lose weight to either get a better job or get a better man. You didn't get either, okay? You're still making egg salad and some weird fucking manicure station that also sells keychains and bumper stickers. Yeah. I think nothing makes sense. I mean, why shed that weight if you're just going to still be spending your Saturday nights hunkered over a sink making mozzarella as if you're in ghosts? Tamara's wedding drama to Jesus, or with Jesus. Unfortunately, Bravo does not have cameras in heaven yet. So we couldn't get Jesus, you know, the clips of Jesus, like barfing. It was a shotgun wedding. Let's face it. We would have had shotgun weddings back in my day, but they weren't invented yet. And then we have Demetria and Greg, where in Demetria tried to act like she was, everything was going to be just totally low key and chill. And she was the biggest bride, Zilla, ever. She even made us feel bad for Geneva because she was going to disinvite Geneva because Geneva talked during Demetria's book signings at slash reading, even though it was shanty, who was the loudest, absolutely ridiculous. That was really stupid. It's a big deal. It's hard for me to disrespect her because that bitch knows how to get a free cake. Wedding drama, every episode she was in a new cake store getting something free. Then she was at some weird rented castle getting some shit free because, you know, she didn't pay for that castle. And then what else did she get free? She got everything for free. I mean, that girl, there should be like a pile of riches getting free shit because you're on TV award. And she kept on saying things like, Oh my God, like, I'm like not about this, but it's fun. Like I'm, it's cool. I feel like a princess. I feel like a little girl. It's totally cool. Shut up Demetria. You like it and you want it. And seen on say, oh my God. Why doesn't everybody press play on my iPad yet? This is a landmark writing for Brian. Who am I trying to think of? What was her Brian Adams or Ryan Adams? It was Ryan Adams that was supposed to play during her. I don't remember. I'm just assuming. I mean, it was either that or like white snake. Who would it have been? It was maybe some like winger that was supposed to guide her down the aisle. That's the last time I trust a wedding planner from Insta. There's a huge, huge landmark occasion for for Instagram wedding planners. But and for halter top wedding dresses to big, big moment. This was like Princess died's wedding for Azusa. Pop top. So short of my thing. This is like the best wedding ever. I can't even enjoy it though. Because the Instagram wedding planner ruined everything. Instagram. This is Sheena. I'm calling for customer service. So the winner, oh, we have to have a, we have to have to get our envelope. Let me hold on. I think the envelope fell below my desk. Excuse me for one moment. This is so professional. In the meantime, I'll tell you a joke. Okay. I got the envelope ready. Yeah. And the winner for worst wedding drama goes to Sheena and Shay. I would play songs for this, but it's not queued up on the iPad. I don't feel like the audience fully appreciated what we just said. The worst wedding drama is Sheena and Shay. Lauren Manzo is like cutting herself, but the Spanx are preventing her from bleeding. Oh, the thing is that Lauren Manzo was actually like the worst wedding and Sheena and Shay, Sheena and Shay was actually the best wedding drama, which sort of makes it the worst wedding drama. So that's why they win. Oh my gosh, we can't justify all these awards. Well, normally what we do in the past is we usually read the winner and then we say why they won. Oh, okay. Better than go through all the nominations. Okay, those past four or three years. Yeah, four or three years. We don't work two years. All right, Ronnie, do you care to take the the next category? I am very proud to be leading this cat while reading it. I guess I'm not leading it, but I'm very proud to be reading off this category. That's a good one. The next category, Meghan King Edmonds Award for Outstanding Achievement in Hashtag Justice and Hashtag Truth. Justice. Truth. Knowledge. You know me in knowledge, right? Knowledge. That was the Oh, yeah, we have to acknowledge that. Let's revise that category and hashtag knowledge. We're already recording it. You're literally I know. We are revising the category during the awards show. We've done it before. We've had right in nominees that come into the last second. I just like that you're literally writing them and we're sharing a Google Doc right now and you're updating it. Like, okay, let's start over. Remember this way. Remember if you want to like actually print these out or something. Hashtag knowledge. I like to keep my knowledge. It's so good. Sorry, knowledge. We left you out, but then we realized that we needed a little truth. All right, Ben, go ahead. Should I read these off? No, this is. Yeah, this is you. You read these. All right. The nominees for the Meghan King Edmonds Award for Outstanding Achievement in Hashtag Justice, Hashtag Truth and Hashtag Knowledge. They're all Meghan King Edwards and Meghan King Edmonds. So doing Haley's homework, figuring out minute rice, realizing it's better to be friends with your stepdaughter than a parrot because just is emailing with Brooks's ex, who she found in a comment thread on stupid housewives, pretending to be a cancer patient at Newport imaging, sussing out judgy eyes. Oh, this is a tough one. Yeah, I mean, Meghan really got a lot of justice. She single handedly, well, not really single handedly, but she was the single flashlight among the detectives. She was a single like iPhone flashlight. She was the, she was the pipe in Sherlock Holmes's mouth. Oh Sherlock suck it. Being sucked by Sherlock. I mean, little audience like that one. Nice little twig mixture in there. Well, she did have to do a lot of digging to get that homework done because it was like economics and stuff. And that girl doesn't know economics. She's giving her stepdaughter $100 for doing nothing. That is someone who doesn't understand the power of a dollar there. Figuring out minute rice, but did she? I have not. That's the thing. I don't think she ever did. I don't think she ever did. I think she just figured out cashew chicken. But she did spend some time reading the box. So that's good. That's true. Realizing is better to be friends with your stepdaughter than a parent. I think that that was more like congratulations, I guess, instead of like justice. I think it was actually if anything else, it was more like giving up hashtag giving up giving up, which is very uncharacteristic of her, but it was also justice because not your womb. So yeah. So that's a mystery that she did solve because the mystery was how do I get hated like me? And then the answer was you can't. And so, you know, she got her answer. She solved that shit. It might have taken two seasons, but you know, so did the killing and it ended up being good. Emailing with Brooks's ex. That one's pretty good. That's a good one. That's a front-runner right there. It is good. But unfortunately, she did all that detective work, but then the stupid witness showed up to court and denied everything or like trying to play it down. Bad witness, bad witness, bad, bad, bad, still good work though. I mean, you read housewives blogs at least. At least you read the comment threads of the housewives blogs. It's like Colombo of our day, you know? [laughter] She does have a certain Peter Falk quality to her. Well, she will one day. She's going to be walking around with some random bird on her shoulder just because the ex-wives had a bird. Isn't that go, Jack? I know. I think that's Colombo. Wait, who did have the bird? To me, they're all Colombo. Did any of them have a bird? I thought Colombo was a little trench coat. Jessica Fletcher, Matlock, and then Colombo. Anyone I don't really know or didn't watch is Colombo. Co-Jack had a lollipop, and then there was Perry Mason. And then before that, there was Iron Side, who I believe was in a wheelchair. I never really believed that Perry Mason was really solving those crimes himself because he just looks so tired. Like, he was really fat and like, older, and he breathed really heavily. His suits were polyester blends, which I know made him sweat more. I just don't feel like he could have really concentrated to solve that many mysteries in an hour. Not buying a Perry Mason. And then there's also diagnosis murder, of course, with whoever Dick Van Dyke played, whatever his doctor name was. So the next is pretending to be an answer patient at Newport imaging. That's pretty good. Yeah, that's a pretty good one because, yeah, I mean, she pretended she had cancer, and I mean, who does that? Seriously. Oh, yeah, bricks, which she found out. I mean, that's a huge mystery to solve. Brooks didn't have cancer. Just like in murder, she wrote, figured that one out in the first five minutes. And that's how I love a mystery. And then sussing out judgey eyes. Judgey eyes are a real thing, right? So it's what Shannon has. Yeah, she does have them and they're all pointed it out. And so even though the Brooks thing was like a big mystery, I think that the winner is Sussing out judgey eyes. Wow. Wow. Because sussing out judgey eyes, no one's really been able to explain what Shannon's doing because she makes all these weird looks at people. And then they're like, why Shannon looking at me like that? And why Shannon upset? No one's really understood it. Until making King Edmonds was like, it's judgey eyes. Everyone was like, oh, and then they could like Shannon again, because they understood her better. It's like, it's like judgment, truth, knowledge, justice that all led to a hug at the end. You know, that's the best kind of mystery. Well, I say congratulations to sussing out the Megan King Edmonds for sussing out Shannon's judgey eyes, a huge achievement in hashtag justice and truth and knowledge. All right. So moving on, we have outstanding achievement and entrepreneurial as one of my favorite categories every year. This year, we have a lot of nominees. And I will just go through them and we will figure out what's going on here. So we have Annabelle Nielsen's Mimi Mies, her children's book about depressed little things that want to jump off cliffs and make their kids jump off cliffs too. Judd Balls, one of our favorites from Julie from Ladies of London, Whitney Ravanell's campaign ad. That was pretty good. That was really good. You know, women in spandex from the 90s dancing around an old person. That was pretty good. And I think I just said Whitney Ravanell. And Thomas Ravanell's campaign ad by Whitney. That was really one of the worst things we saw. We have Portia who just has businesses. So I don't really, we still don't really know what she does, but she has businesses. She's got a webcam and a pen calling out. Sonia, Sonia's lifestyle brand slash red dress that was on the cover of like Latino Fancy Magazine. Ruth Glenn Closeface. Yeah, truth and beauty. The Long Long Island's greatest spa treatment stored located across the hall. Because it's truth plus beauty. I don't understand why people say truth and beauty. I mean, plus beauty. Yeah, what the hell truth plus beauty equals anal relaxers. Kristen, Kristen Taekman's pop of color nail polish line that's not to be confused with pop, which is already established nail polish. Pop of color, which features such colors as slide. And I think it's just like, like Carol Radzewell's names for pop of color. Hand job to a toddler. Cynthia Bailey shades. Cynthia Bailey's Arco shades. Yeah, exactly. It seemed to be found on a rotating thing in your local 7/11. They should just call those Cynthia Bailey sales shades. Geneva Pop Daily, which I believe was rebranded into Jawbreaker is Geneva's answer to the Huffington Post. Something Geneva's never been able to suck down to the end, a Jawbreaker. But you know, she eats them. She's probably got teeth made out of like headstone materials, crunched through wells, like spullenker starting Geneva. No wonder why that taxi cab driver was so scared. Fit is the new it. She was biting through the grapes. Yeah, she doesn't get out of it. She was like one of the chum chums from Super Mario Brothers on chain. It's bullet proof, but it is not Geneva's teeth proof. Okay, okay. Fit is the new it, the new fitness sensation from Dr. Jackie on Marriage and Medicine, where you work out with a buffet in the gym. Kenya Moore's shampoo slash water and Nomad MD by Dr. Jean and Toya. Oh my God, the least fucking Bentley coming down the road. Toria with a syringe. God help us. Way. Oh, team. One of the greatest also one of the greatest achievements in entrepreneurialism came from down under switch the bitch. The book that's going to teach you how to switch the bitch switch the bitch. My me my used to threaten to switch us, which meant beat us. And coming out with a book about female empowerment called switch the bitch still just bothers me. Tom and Tom. Tom and Tom's liquor consultancy from Vanderpump Rules. Oh, hell yeah. There'll be a couple can get an ambassadorship. Why the hell can't these two? Yes. Kenya Moore's pilot life twirls on, which is actually, since this is the same list that has Thomas Ravenell's campaign added, it actually looks pretty professional compared to that one. No kidding. This is like one giant commercial for like the video camera on an android phone. And then finally Peter's brew. Peter's brew. So Peter's brew. So the winner for outstanding achievement in entrepreneurialism goes to Peter's brew for the third category in a row. Our last one coincidentally is the winner. All of these were really colossal entrepreneurial failures. And I honestly think that Whitney's campaign ad almost, almost takes the cake, almost won this one because it really, you know, Thomas Ravenell never had a shot. But whatever shot he had was almost completely destroyed by this ad and it like costs someone, you know, hundreds of thousands of dollars to do this. But at the end of the day, one just cannot overlook the ridiculous choice to produce Peter's brew. And when you look at the video of him on the internet promoting it, and he describes it, he's like biggest, what do people do drink coffee? Biggest mark in the world? Coffee. So, you know, put them together, bro. He does brew. Well, brew a room. Keurig style. Just sharper your own fucking face on the Keurig. And you're done. Yeah, that one, that one. But by far, it's just Peter, he just does not give up spending his wife's money on ridiculous, stupid ideas. Well, as long as she gets terrible drawings of him once a year, like where he's cross eyed in a park, or whatever the hell that painting was that they got last time. Oh, yes. All right. Happened. Why is Mr. Why is Uncle Ben drunk, Mommy? Because he's trying to make minute rise. Okay, now you can make it as brew instead with your minute rice. The next award is for the best Caroline Fleming is home. This is a great category. Caroline Fleming is new to ladies of London. She's new to our hearts. But you know what? I already know that that tree will be growing in Brooklyn for a long time. I don't know what that means, but she's staying with me forever. I love her. She made quite the impression so much that we have an entire category devoted to the random shit she said or did. And also everybody has pink Himalayan sea salt. It's so funny how nobody watches shows. So I guess it was like already being sold in the Ross dress for less like kitchen sale clearance aisle because if my mom has it, I mean, my mom will not be buying pink salt. She must have got that shit on sale somewhere. Oh, yeah, it's always it's always like in it's always in that like final death march to the register at TJ Maxx when you go through the maze of like impulse items, which I totally bought. I once bought an Irish cookbook from that aisle. I was like, hmm, $5 for an Irish cookbook? Well, I think this is something I need. Well, how much can you possibly charge for something that's like throw it in a pot of boiling water and wait until it's done? Just be sure to be wasted when you eat it or it'll taste like shit. The funny thing is everything I made from that cookbook has been absolutely delicious. But anyway, I digress. No, boiling is a is a very, you know, reliable method. People have been using it for years. Look how big China is. Well, I mean, no, there's a delicious recipe in there for like a smoked mackerel spread. It's absolutely delicious. That's wrong on a lot of levels that we don't need to go into here. We should just start adding the worst mackerel spread. Tum-tum-tum-tum-tum-tum-tum-tum-tum. That would be Caroline Fleming right there. So the nominees for the best Caroline Flemingism are Himalayan sea salt, pink Himalayan sea salt, the most important ingredient in life. One must always have pink Himalayan sea salt, the most important ingredient of life. Other than, you know, like air. Isn't that the most wonderful flavor? Offering Juliet Fried House because she's American. That was one of the, that was like the first moment that we really saw Caroline Fleming's bitch flower start to blossom. Like here, let me just do something totally condescending and offer you Fritos. And the sad thing is Juliet was really happy about it. I mean, I would be too. We used to do this in my family. We would all sit on the couch and just eat Cheetos until we had to unbuckle our pants. Marissa's like, well, I'm actually opening up a new restaurant called Top Cheetos. And we're going to serve balls of Cheetos and Fritos and anything from Frito-Lay. And you just come in and you have it because like these Londoners, they just don't know about chips. They call on crisps here. Did you see that Marissa was on the, it was in the Sunday times with a bowl of Cheetos right in front of her face? I mean, I would never. She had an orange phallic poop right in front of her face. Or something. She's eating Frito side. I mean, she's eating Cheetos sideways. She eating a giant Cheeto like a corn on the cob. It's supposed to look like a smile. Yeah, it looks like a little orange piece of poop. Okay, Marissa, Marissa. So the next is when I love that these are Flemming offering food to people. So good. They're pretty much all that. Almost all to Juliet. Offering Juliet almond butter. Have you had almond butter? Please have something. Juliet's like, oh, I can't breathe. Hey, I have some more. Be good girl. I have some more. I'm choking. That's the point there. Complimentary pesto tutorial. Oh, wow. This was lucky. Are you? This was in the same day, I believe, as the almond butter. I think this was the same scene. And it deserves a separate nomination because it was so effing amazing. Seeing her sing Juliet say. I enjoy. I really like pesto. Yum. How lucky are you? How lucky are you to have me make pesto for you? The next nominee. Aqua V appreciation. When she interrupted a dinner party, like 10 different times, be like, isn't that the most beautiful flavor? Don't you enjoy the flavor, the Aqua V? Aren't you just loving it? Isn't that the most beautiful flavor? I love that someone who grew up as a royal, you know, she only had like roasted duck or like whatever game the the servants caught that day and had to roast or like something, you know, snails or something really fancy. So she's totally turned on by almond butter, fritos and pesto. Mommy never let us have salt and now I have pink Himalayan Cecil. Please don't bring it up a dinner with mum. The next nominee, laughing about how her great-grandfather murdered Julie's great-grandfather in law. That was so good. Isn't it just so hilarious the way my great-grandfather destroyed your great-grandfather in a duel and because of that we now have a main street in Copenhagen. Who are you? So great-grandfather was it? Well, we have many stories written about that incident the only way they refer to him is pussy, so congratulations. Well, pesto. Julie's like, "Mmm, mmm, mmm." She's like, "I don't know what to do about this. I'm just gonna burn some hot chocolate." I'm in an aristocracy sandwich. I found my voice. What'd you say? I said, "I found my voice." I found my voice and it's horrified. It horrified that this family has murdered my family. Love that show. Forcing a chef to carry Comte across Copenhagen. One of Caroline Fleming's most hilarious moments is when she told a story that was so kind of like self-serving and ridiculous but she just passed it off as one of the most hilarious things ever. She's like, "You know, one time I came to this restaurant and they make the most wonderful Comte dish and they took it off the menu and I said, "Well, please make it for me," because they always make it for me. And then they said, "Well, we don't have any Comte." And I said, "Oh, but you must make it. You must." So the chef walked all around Copenhagen and brought over five kilos of Comte, dragged it across the city just for me. Isn't that hilarious? The most hilarious part was when I got the waiter fired because it took so long to get to the table. So silly. That's the state of Comte, Caroline. They always say I'm such a Comte. I think that's what they say unless I'm hearing it wrong. There's the throng of photographers. I'm sorry to interrupt my Comte story but the photographers won't leave me alone. Oh, paparazzi! It's like, "When's the nature with an iPhone camera?" I'm so sorry for that. There's a paparazzi following us right into here. My favorite restaurant was Comte. They're like, "No, that's the camera crew that follows all of us around. Oh, I'm so sorry that you all have to get a camera crew now because of me. How lucky are you to be documented with me?" So good. "Don't go into any tunnels. You know what happens to my type." Oh, shut up. You're not Princess Di, all right? "I am encountered in the wind." "You must have some authentic handles from Northern Denmark." Those are the best candles to be encountered in the wind. "I'm the Queen's no Vina in the wind. No one will ever blow me out." Shut Caroline Fleming. Okay. "The winner is... doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo." I can rip it for you. I can rip it for you. I can rip it for you. It's like the smallest envelope. How can the envelope be that small for such a huge category? Fine. Here's another envelope that we've had made for this category in case the small one was not enough for our prima-donner presenter. Here we go. And the winner is... "How lucky are you?" Oh, yes. Yes. That's a good one. I'm maybe going to bring the audience back for that one. Yeah. If we're all still saying that all over our Facebook page and using it in regular Christmas cards to people that don't even know what Bravo is, that's a good one. So congratulations. How lucky are you. How lucky are you for winning that award. How lucky are you for seeing me win? How lucky are you? Best Caroline Flamingism. Click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click. Sorry, that was that teenager holding down his iPhone camera thing when it just takes a million pictures and one thing. Okay. So now moving on, we have this is a fun and very difficult category because this is the category that Bravo is almost built on. Best disaster. Oh my goodness. I mean, this could have gone any way. We could have picked show. Yeah. We could have picked home. We could have picked foreclosure. We could have picked anything. I mean, there are so many disasters on this channel. You know, beautiful disasters. Yes. So here we have first, we have Rocky from Below Deck. I mean, she was a total disaster jumping off the yacht and making grenadine oysters. This is my dream. Yeah. Huge disaster. Jack's. He, I mean, he just is, he doesn't have to do anything and he's a disaster. I mean, he started the season with a giant gash on his, actually, you know, it wasn't even the giant gash was from last season and carried over to this season. He had a, his ear was plugged up because he took, he got grafted skin from his ear to be put onto his nose for another nose job. I mean, he is a total disaster. He is. He looks like a garbage pail kid. And you know, we have so much fun on this show making fun of the women who really just, which are their faces mutilizing or mutilizing. It's a new word mutilating their faces because they're so desperate. But we've seen Jack's mutilate his face every season. He looks like a garbage pail kid. And now he's so desperate that he's just getting naked in every scene and trying to get new shots like clipped into the show. And I'd like to say congratulations. It's no longer a sexist show. You are a narcissistic sad, sad man. Keep on cutting darling. Keep on. Keep on. The next disaster nominee, James from Vanderpump Rules between him, like downing fireball and spitting on Kristin's door and saying things like, take a good look, honey. You'll never get this again, honey. He is a huge disaster. Then again, I don't even know if he could count in this category because he was a busboy. And now he's a busboy DJ. That's true. His pizza. He's an upwardly mobile disaster. Next is, this is a big one. Vicki Gunvelson, huge disaster. I mean, where do you even begin this year between her defending Brooks and basically just her defending Brooks, huge disaster. Oh my god. It went so far beyond defending Brooks. If anybody doesn't believe what a disaster she is, please follow her on the periscope because that shit is amazing. I'm giving it all away. Who wants my sink? I'm giving away my sink. That's it. Haters. Please don't be mean. Haters. Because you know, I just want love. You want my sink? You want my sink? These countertops are made of granite. You want them? Well, similarly, Shannon Bador, also a big disaster. I mean, she's like a different kind of disaster. She's like that unstable, unstable, frightened little dough in a sombrero disaster. I mean, that scene when David said her, "Hey, hon. So I saw that girl on the beach." And she looked at it. I mean, the look on her face was one of the most priceless and classic disaster looks we've ever seen from her. Also, the look when somebody leaves lid off of a GNC bottle. I mean, it's the same look, but I remember this is a woman who got who made her husband stick his finger up her asshole because she thought that she had a colonoscopy stuck in there, an at-home colonoscopy. And there wasn't. It was just like logical debris. She just wanted her husband to finger her butt. Can you know what? I say, that's how to keep a marriage strong. Can you go, girl? Yeah, David. David in the asshole. I think I felt something. Here lies Shannon Bador's colonoscopy destroyed by David's finger in my anus. And we also have to talk about, by the way, we also have to more support for her being a disaster. The the gash of pub scene went too much sugar over the birth. I mean, everything, everything. Mom, buddy, you guys just go to masteros. Could you make these braids? What'd you say? Yeah, there's so much how you braids something, David. David, I love it. It's been brain sugar. And so there's so much fat. I just, you know, it just seems strange to me that my birthday, you know, a year after you cheated on me, that you would take me to a gastropub, David. David, I can't believe you would take me to a gastropub the same season. I got psychological debris stuck in my gastro, David. Oh, Shannon, enter out again. He's like, I'm going to take you to a gastropub, dear. Just in case you have anything stuck in there, I don't have to deal with it again. And now just let me use my aspirator first. Can we talk about my digestive system waiter? Sorry, ma'am. No, I'm busy. Well, what kind of gastropub is this? I was excited at first, because when I saw her about gastro, I thought of Dr. Moon and thought we might be setting up a pub in his office, but then I realized it was actually just a pub. That's sort of sugary food. David, David. So then we have next disaster, Julie from Ladies of London, skittish, crazy, burning hot chocolate, crying when Caroline makes a joke about Caroline Fleming getting into a handstand faster. I mean, total disaster. Also, not being able to get into a hat or a headstand when you're a yoga teacher. What the frick? That was such a dig at me. And also riding a bike with her stupid helmet through town to deliver her job balls, because she's too intent on looking poor so that people won't disrespect her because she's rich. What the hell, lady? Total disaster. Did you already say burning mac and cheese? I said burning hot chocolate burns everything. She burns everything. Next one, this is a big one, Thomas Ravenel, for I think his biggest disaster moment was a, well, probably was Whitney, being in Whitney's, hiring Whitney and then actually going along with Whitney's awful ad. But then probably the on again, off again, Catherine drama, locking her up on the plantation, then declaring in the reunion that they were never, ever going to be together again. And then Andy's like, when was the last time you hooked up? Well, like a week go. And then, of course, you got to pregnant again. And then Andy's like, I have a feeling you guys are going to fuck tonight. And they're like, my bad. I mean, we'd like each other. Okay. I think his biggest, most amazing disaster of the season. I don't even think they showed it until the reunion, but it was that video going around where he comes downstairs, wasted naked, and starts yelling at them. And then the hairdresser starts fighting with him. And then he, I guess, pushes the hairdresser in the pool. What happened? Yeah, something like that. Yeah. And she's like, I mean, a purse. So good, total disaster. Then all next nominee sort of goes hand in hand, Catherine Raffenell. Um, she is a disaster in her own right. She is, um, heady, um, well, she, first of all, she's the only one in history who actually says, um, but like like a comic book, but she, um, um, she, um, well, she was kind of spoiled and didn't seem to understand that she basically is like Thomas's kept woman. And then she was being super flirty with, uh, Craig, but then, and then she would get in these drunken fights with people like Whitney, although Whitney often deserved it. Um, and then, uh, yeah, just her, and, and the way she showed up on Thomas on that vacation, when there was a camera crew there and then saying that they got lost. Yes. And they had to like spend the night, spend the night in like a hole on the beach because it was like all of a sudden, some like tempest had come through. And of course, the biggest, one of the biggest disaster moments, the night where Thomas was losing miserably. Yeah. And she still walked in in his great, great, grandmother Ramona's, you know, floor length full coat. And you know, that grandma was like 500 pounds or something because it looked like she was wrapped in a bear. I mean, it was this huge thing. And then her gold earrings or whatever. And then she storms in like she's Hillary Clinton coming to confront Bill about a blowjob. It's like, honey, he's losing already. This is so bad. And then having a fight with him and then chasing him down that bridge going, Thomas Thomas. Yeah, she got drunk and lost it a lot of times. So she was a big mess. Same show or next nominee Craig, Southern Charm. He wasn't like a disaster, like an embarrassment disaster like they were, but he got really, really wasted. And it got to the point where he got fired from his job because he would show up at work at three. And I was like, yeah, man, I don't have to like, you know, I just worked from home. Like, that's it. So he was a disaster. I can't vote for him because his parents are so level headed. Yes. That I was like, yeah, he they're shocked that they bore such a disaster. And they made him go home. They're like, you're coming home. You're moving right now. He's like, but we still have the season finale nor get in the car now. A young man. Next nominee is sort of a perennial nominee, like Jax in this category, MJ. I mean, to me, it all begins and ends with those crazy leggings she wore this year. That's, I mean, it's MJ. Yeah, I was going to say, I don't even remember anything about MJ except her terrible leggings. She's got enough, some sweatshop and trying to just working to make her horrible things to wear. She also kept a dead dog in her freezer. Well, that was amazing. And the last nominee in this category, Yolanda's medicine cabinet, a total disaster, total, total disaster. Now, the winner for the best disaster is, oh, this is hard, Ronnie. I don't know. I'm torn between two. This is so difficult that I'm not even going to rip up in a novel. I'm going to knock on a vault. Okay. I'm opening it. Okay, best disaster is, this is crazy because we just talked about Southern Trump for so long that I started to think that the winner was going to be Thomas, but it's Rocky from below deck. Rocky. I'm sorry. Thomas was a total disaster, but Rocky, it was all though. It's like it makes more sense if you're rich in your disaster because you don't have to make any money. Rocky has to work the rest of her goddamn life, and she's still a disaster. And the thing is, the entire season was pretty much about Rocky being, she was a disaster in every episode. There were episodes of Southern Trump or Thomas and Catherine were a little bit more on the sidelines. This was, I mean, Rocky, I mean, a case could also be made for Jax, for sure, or even, you know, even seriously, horse face number one, who wasn't even nominated, which is crazy, by the way. But Rocky, Rocky, it's you grenadine oysters. I mean, that's the, that's, that's it. Oh, just the whole, everyone's mean to me. I'm supposed to be a star and not you're the iron chief, ironing the cap and shorts. And then jumping off the boat and taking off all her clothes when she got mad. And also, she wasn't close running with Thomas because they both continued their disastrous ways off camera, just to keep us entertained. Rocky wrote this weird blog for Bravo, full of lies about what she's doing, which is amazing. She's like, traveling the world, research is always crazy. And then Thomas just put one out the other day, our friend maul's just texted me the other day with the best texts. I got all Christmas, no offense, Santa. You dirty little bear, you. I got a Santa dick pick. It's all Venus. Spoiler alert. But she sent me a text. And it was, it was Thomas, I think on either Instagram or Facebook responding to something Catherine said and he said, you shouldn't be getting drunk when you're pregnant. They are such disasters. I mean, they fight on Facebook while he's running for office. I mean, that is crazy. I mean, he's so good. But I don't know, I just feel like Rocky, though, I felt like it was such a, such an onslaught of just disaster. I mean, I think, because that episode of below deck when, when, when Leon quit and everything went wrong and she dove off the yacht and then she was flapping around in the ocean in her mermaid tail and she made the granny and oysters and she also made like a few other terrible culinary decisions. And there was the fire that she wasn't responsible for, but like, I don't know, and then she defended Leon, I don't know, Rocky total winner. You're a, you're a, only person here who hasn't taken any ownership of your issues. Yeah, but okay, I'm owning up, but it wasn't my fault. No, it's not owning it. This is my dream. All right, so let's go on to the next category. The next category. Outstanding achievement in being a husband or a boyfriend. Oh, man, you know what, when men age, well, when anybody ages really, when we age, we start losing our ability to think, you know, like, do stuff or like hold our poop in or whatever. And we start needing to go to the bathroom and use handicapped rails. And you know, Gamble found a man that's way older that she can use as her own handicapped rails. And you know what, that is the sweetest thing I've ever seen in my life. Hugs to you both. Aquavie flavored hugs from both of you. Because it doesn't aquavie, isn't that like old people drink? Or am I thinking? Aquavie is just, no, that's oval teen. Aquavie is like, it's a liquor or liquor. It's just, it's like, it's a Scandinavian. I imagine it's smelling like old spice. Either way. You get it at Epcot Center. Oh, that's legit. That makes it legit. Okay, John from Real Housewives of New York City. Oh, Dorinda's John. Yeah. Luke, I ate your father. David Bedour from Real Housewives of Orange County. Honey, I made this poster board for our marriage. Oh, this is the part I had in affairs. It was the best time of my life. But unfortunately, it ruined my family. So austerity from blood, sweat, heels. Who was still with his crazy slag girlfriend, even though she refused to introduce him to her racist parents. Yes. Eugene, who stayed with his idiot wife, even though she ran him into bankruptcy, ruined his business, turned him 500 pounds fatter, and put an anti-camp behind the cookie jar. Mm-hmm. And from, from secrets and wives, the angry dentist who hated Amy. Mm-hmm. Oh, I thought you having a good time? No, I won't get out of here. Uh-huh. But he bought me a used bag. If that doesn't say love, I don't know what does. And the winner is the winner for outstanding achievement and being a husband or a boyfriend goes to David Bedour. Congratulations, David. Yeah, congratulations. May you have this one moment of happiness. Not only did David Bedour leave his hot girlfriend for his wife, he also fished an imaginary piece of broken off Dr. Moon Asta from his wife's butt. He made a poster board about his marriage. He, uh, had to give a eulogy for Shannon's fake death in a fucking Marriott room. Uh, got humiliated on TV, uh, hated the chilies with, uh, on her birthday dinner. I mean, this guy fails in such a wonderful way. It's just beautiful to watch. Yes. Absolutely. So congratulations, David Bedour. You did a great job. Now, in the next category is, uh, similar. This is the Simon Van Kempen best husband who wants to be a housewife award. That's a good one. And the nominees are Aiden the Huck Huck from marriage to medicine, Peter Bailey from Real Housewives of Atlanta, Jonathan from Secrets and Wives, Don Juan, whose candies gay husband on Real Housewives of Atlanta, Rooks from Real Housewives of Orange County and Greg Demetrius husband from Blood, Sweat and Heels, all these guys got real, got into a mess with, with the women on their show in some way. But one of them wanted to be a housewife the most. And that winner is there we go. Uh, the winner is I'm going to give this one to Jonathan from Secrets and Wives. Good one. I'm so glad he won. He deserved it. Yes. See, Jonathan, you know, Peter Bailey's won this before. I mean, that's that, you know, it's like, you know, it's like when Murphy Brown won like five in a row or Frasier. So this is Jonathan, because Jonathan, he first of all, he stuck a thumb up Lizer's ass, which in and of itself should get him the win. And second of all, he then got drunk and told them all off. Um, and then he, and then he acted like he did nothing wrong. And he would say things like, Oh, you're so mad at me for that. Hey, Corey, you're so mad at me for that. Yeah. I'm the one high school. Oh, what was she like? A dumb slut just like the rest. She was a whore. Class, class all the way. So, uh, good, good, good on you, Jonathan. You can put this award up on the wall in your solar paneling business. So good. Although Aiden did work really hard at it. Unfortunately, he's just learning from another terrible housewife who makes no sense. His wife. Yes. You guys, you should have been there for us. And you weren't even there for us. And I say, no. And it's like, what is coming out? The hook is coming out. The hook is coming out. Yeah. So is the rest of your hair. Keep getting that shit stitched in, boo. All right. Now. Let's move on to the next category, Ronnie. This is a, this is a big one. This is a doozy. Okay. There's like 30 nominees in this category. All right. So why don't we don't have to? I don't think we have to do explain, uh, uh, every single one. I think you can go through the list and explain the ones that you feel really need to be explained. Because otherwise, boss me around or otherwise our award show, no, because we're both like going in on every single thing. And I'm like, well, we have a lot of, whoa, we have a lot of categories. Well, yeah. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay. Then you better just work the teleprompter faster. Don't blame the reader, blame the teleprompter. Okay. Steve Harvey's getting too much shit. I read that was all the teleprompter's fault. It was. Okay. So the best supporting character, Hanky the Swan from Vanderpump Rules. Cooper from, um, Southern Charm, Valentina, from Ladies of London, Patricia, who's that? Patricia from Southern Charm. Oh, Patricia from Southern Charm. Yeah. I'm sorry. I've just got back from Texas. So I've got all my racist ladies and move moves mixed up. Chef Penny from Vanderpump Rules. Arthur, the evil dentist. And to be fair, I think we can also, maybe we can add him with Arthur. Max. Max. Max. He's not on table, Max. Max. Max? Um, Tammy from Real Housewives of Atlanta. Wiser's mom from Secrets and Wives. I've been on, I've been outside learning on the gravel, I'm waiting for somebody to come get me. I got spiders, I got spiders coming out of my vagina. I got the vines here and graveling my butt crack. Nice party, hon. For me from Real Housewives of Melbourne. Oh, for you. Oh, you hominy boy. Well, dear, I think that what you people need to do is maybe bring a little more love to the situation. I love you. You're so successful. Dobby from the Real Housewives of Cheshire. Dobby should win because my nieces are both doing it now. Now I go. Do it then. And they go. My sister said, what the hell is that? I was like, you won't understand. Literally you won't understand. They don't either, but it's still funny to me. That wedding planner from my Fab 40th. Oh my God. What was her name? I don't remember, but she kept on saying what was she saying? I'm going to pay the streets with a gold girl. And then I'm going to bring you a silver. It's going to be fierce. It's going to be a fierce cap for you. So I called train to make sure they could chop to your fierce Fab 40th. And so now, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome an oppressing instead. Yes. The hashtag justice headband. That was a good star. And I mean, they kept getting crazier every episode. Yes. That was a good supporting character. Lydia's child slash housekeeper from the Real Housewives of Melbourne. MJ's mom. Oh, is he could stand by? And ping pong champ. Sophie Stanbury, of course, newbie. Beautiful. Great classy woman who's also an awful drunk. Amazing. Yes. Yolanda's health advocate, the old hole who wrote sugar in Real House Beverly Hills. All right. The winner for best supporting character goes to yeah. Wow. Big surprise. Wow. I can't believe it. My Fab 40th was one of the biggest pieces of shit I've ever sat through in my life. Okay, it happened to premiere on my own Fab 40th. And I hated it. But that woman was amazing deserves to spin off. I hope she gets what gets one. I love you my little darling, possibly in the middle of being transgendered, gorgeous, albino wigs, love bug. I love you, ladies. That was a that was a big surprise. I thought for sure it was gonna be hanky Valentina or Patricia. I thought for sure be one of those threes. But you know what? Good on this woman, you know, because she did steal the show and she was hilarious on an awful, awful, awful show. So good. You're right. But Patricia, look, for me, it's she's very funny. I do like her, but she's not really doing anything except being her normal cut fitness itself. And frankly, I kind of am over her. She can die. Well, I don't know. Well, I'm not, I am not Tricia. I didn't that was Patricia Valentina was a gay character, but it was mostly just them calling for Valentina. She didn't really do anything. That's all we need. Now, if a bomb, bad news, mom, if that is rain, that is mom, I didn't win best support and character. She would have got it, but she wasn't in the noms. And Hanky, if this was a an award for a how like a friend of housewives who actually became a housewife, like, I don't know, like, who did it? Like Dana tried, you know, all these women who try and fail miserably. Then I would have given it to hanky because hanky is now in like every Vanderpump scene. And actually, Hanky, I was just thinking about it. Hanky's storyline has actually jumped from Vanderpump rules to real houses of Beverly Hills, because it was on Vanderpump rules that we first saw Lisa bringing Hanky into Sur or to pump. And she's like, yeah, can take him. And we're like, Oh, what's going on with Hanky? And Hanky's been sick, but then it was Beverly Hills, where we found out what's been going on with Hanky. So Hanky really has, has done something special by by bridging two different series. Hanky has done well, but you know what? He's such a fucking victim, either he's being attacked by the other swans or he's got some fake stomach disease or whatever with Hanky. The only thing he's ever done is attack Kyle. And that was off camera. So I just can't give it to a giant pussy. Sorry, Hanky, maybe next year, grow a pair, Hanky. Okay. Well, that actually brings us to our next category. This is the Kim Zolciak, most convincing, but possibly not real disease award. Yeah. Yeah. I can't wait to hear him. The first nominee is Yolanda Foster for her chronic Lyme disease on Real House House of Beverly Hills. Kim Richards for her hernia slash ulcer slash meth habit slash I was still the nicest on Real House House of Beverly Hills. Brooks's cancer on Real House House of Orange County. Kyle's kids fear of piercings on Real House House of Beverly Hills, Erica Jane's fear of piercings and needles on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. And lastly, again, Beverly Hills is really dominating this category. Hanky's stomach virus, which was supposedly he had a stomach virus, but then when he was brought to the vet, he turned out to be surprisingly resilient and was biting Lisa and very, very active. So I can't wait to see who wins Ben. Okay. The winner for the Kim Zolciak, most convincing, but possibly not real disease is Brooks Ayers' cancer on Real Housewives of Orange County. Oh, wow. Congratulations, Brooks. Yeah. Now it's interesting because in many ways, he shouldn't be even nominated because this is for most convincing. Well, people fell for it for at least a year. I mean, we had to fight about it. I mean, not us, but like in general, people, you know, there was a lot of how could you not believe someone went, you know, there was a lot of that. So I didn't give it to Yolanda because I feel like Yolanda is ill, but I think she's, I think she's either misdiagnosed or has a mental situation going on in addition to a possibly real Lyme disease diagnosis she once had. So I feel like it's just a misdiagnosed disease and she's just an allergy to brown eyeshadow that's supposed to make your eyes look more sunken in. Yeah. I think Hanky, Hanky was close. Hanky was real close there because Hanky was putting on a show. He really was. But Brooks, I mean, you can't deny the fact that his fake cancer not only dominated the season, it created a new Housewives storyline, you know, like we, because, you know, we've seen the vagina waxing a million times, including this week, Lisa Renan did it. I mean, they've, they've, they've trotted out that one million times. But now, now we have fake illness and it's, it's a new template. So Brooks, good for you. It's a new templates. It's already being copied. We've had the next Housewives show. And we've also, it's a very good mirror of our society. I think it's a very good mirror of all our own Facebook pages, seeing all these Looney Tunes pretending they have bullshit that they probably don't have. Yeah. So congratulations Brooks. Also, I love those scenes. I hate Brooks, obviously, but I love a Brooke scene. So as long as you can keep that going on, I don't care if you show up next year with like panda AIDS, get over here. And to be honest, to be totally like, not even being snarky, watching that whole saga unfold over the season was truly amazing. It was one of these things where, I mean, the fact that it started with this psychic who the, from over the, like over the internet psychic, a FaceTime psychic. And then it just snowballed and that Megan King Edmonds just kept on like going at it. And then everyone did. And then Shannon, it just, it just kept on going. And it got to the point where I was praying that the season finale wouldn't happen because I just wanted to see this saga just keep on, on going. I mean, they had their, their trip, they had their trip in the middle of the season instead of three quarters away through this season just kept on going. It was great. One of the, one of the greatest of CCs. Didn't even create better drama by throwing these plastic bitches in with sharks with actual sharks. Okay, the next category, an old classic, best trip. Yeah. Okay, the nominees for the best trip Atlantic City on Real Housewives of New York. That fancy island. That fancy island that looks like Main Street, Disneyland on southern China. Turks and Caicos, Real Housewives of New York, Denmark, the ladies of London, and Amsterdam, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Damn, this is a hard category. Well, two of them, I don't even think should be in here because Amsterdam was dumb except that we got to see you'll want to talk about like all the rich, old people. She's like, Oh, this restaurant. I fucked Julio Glacias under the table. Are you forgetting the Lisa Renna Kim Richards fight? Oh, that was an Amsterdam. That was an Amsterdam. And then they had that, then they had like the little boat ride where they fought some more. Well, I was stoned. So when in Amsterdam, okay, being Amsterdam, being an argument, you know what, you can make an argument that the trip itself was not that exciting, but the fight was. And spoiler alert, that fight, we may be seeing more of that fight later in the award show. So I understand. Okay, and then did anything. Oh, Dan Mark. Yeah, that was pretty good. We killed your family. Okay. Okay. Anyway, also, Denmark was also where Annabelle was like, I don't like you. I don't like what you talk to people. You shouldn't make, you're not funny when you say things. And I find that you're not a good friend. Alexander. And that's also the scene where she said, I just have to put a hand to the face. I just have to put a hand to the face. First Alex, you know, now Alexander died, but now it feels like they're killing him. Um, or you're having sex with my husband. Oh, no, that was a different, that was New Year's Eve. That was also when it's also when Caroline Fleming was like, is it not quite rude to show up to breakfast late? You have all these people like, you know, Louise or Orlando making breakfast and you show up 20 minutes late in someone else's house that is quite rude. You come out vacation and you'll treat the family like this. No one does this. This is so rude. My parents demand manners. And they're like, how's that total? You're banking darling. Talking about my manners while she's talking about blowing some big, big 20 year old on TV. Can we, can we, can we rebrand this award as the scary island best trip award? Oh, yes. Yes. For sure. It should be scary. I mean, I'm typing on twerklego doc. Although, I don't know if anything can ever top scary island. You know what, bro? That's why it's the award. Okay. So the winner of the scary island best vacation award goes to this one's difficult to read because the type is so tiny on it. It can be award goes to Atlantic City on Real Housewives of NYC. Fantastic, fantastic winner. That one was, that was a great, this is the audience loves it. It's the first time that anybody has ever named Atlantic City as their favorite trip. That, that episode began crazy within five seconds. Like, I don't think we've ever seen a real house of show begin on such a crazy note. It started with literally how they're going. Something like, what the fuck is wrong with you, Sonia? Who the fuck do you think you, you remember that? And they didn't even have the cameras on her. It was in Sonia's freezing foyer. What's going on? This is already craziness. Then it morphed into them having to like wait at Starbucks or something. And then getting in a limo together, fighting then pulling over to all P together on the side of the road, then to a drunken dinner, where Sonia got so shit faced. And every, was this when they were trying to lecture her about being a girl? And she, and this is also when I think she was talking about how she parties with Madonna and JFK Jr. And that's when Dorinda first wrote One All Our Hearts because she was like, well, john john's dead, but okay. Okay, I'll scran says the woman who like gets her tea leaves read by some psychic so she can talk to a dead husband who speaks to her through a half filled red balloon. Yeah, that was that was an amazing, amazing trip. And you know, the New York City Turks and Caicos was close behind you because that was the whole scandal with the guy in the bed and the win and be cool. Don't, that was amazing. Yeah. But you know, New York City, we always say New York City. Yeah, I mean, I mean eggs. All I want to say. But and that's also when Bethany yelled at Sonya shut up. But New York City always does an amazing trip that that's scary island. That's why the award is named after them. And it was, I think Atlantic City took the edge because not only was it crazy, but just having such an amazing, hilarious time in Atlantic City, which is probably one of the most depressing cities in the world. That's a huge step. Congratulations Atlantic City. It's your last moment of glory, darling, enjoy it. Yeah. All right, Ben, let's get to the next. Oh, this is a good one. Now we're getting into the real good categories. Best feud, not best fight. Best feud. All right, so our nominees are versus Janet. Everybody loves love. It wasn't a sex party. It was a pool party that we got sex after. Luan versus Carol regarding Carol dating. They got the young guy who's ping pong balls everywhere. Well, we know who fate was who side fate was on. Yeah, sleep with my friends help. That's absolutely right. Everyone versus Vicki because of the cancer or fake cancer. Megan King Edmonds versus Shannon Bador. Oh, star charities. You called me in the car with my kids in it. Called me in the car with my kids on my private cell phone number. Thomas Ravenel versus Catherine. Thomas. Lisa Rinna versus Kim Richards. That's a good one. Glass in the face. Strangle turkey neck. So good. Kim Richards versus Kyle Richards. That's the one that definitely gets her blood boiling. Bethany versus Heather. Beth Heather Thompson. Chef versus Greg. I just wanted to make her some macaroni. If you want to make her. I just want to want some hummus. You want some hummus? There's hummus in the fridge. Okay, mama. Okay, mama. Chef versus Craig should be. Gosh, Craig. Such a mess, Craig. Bethany versus Kristen. I feel box out. So box out. I want to talk to you. Now, boy, sorry. Where are you going? No, I'm not doing this. Hey, come back here. Nope. From below deck, Kate versus Chef Leon. Pretty good. Always good. Gigi versus Mike. Gross. Yeah. Gina versus Eddie expert. Well, I'm on the saying that I saw something on the first book and took a screenshot of it. See, I have to get all the way back in Melbourne now. Oh, my goodness. February is coming soon. We're also calling you Eddie X bit. So calling Eddie X bit. I am not. Why would you call me Eddie X bit? Oh, I thought this was the one with the gay guy. Remember when the gay guy was like, I've seen the pictures and they're like, what? No, Eddie expert was is pettifler. Remember, she's like, you know what, we're going to start calling you is Eddie X bit. And but if it was like, I'm not Eddie X but I'm only expert on diamonds because you brought up diamonds. That's right. Eddie X bit. And lastly, the last nominee for best feud is Hanky versus the other swans. Okay. 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Download the insta cart app and get delivery in as fast as 30 minutes. Plus, enjoy free delivery on your first three orders. Service fees and terms apply. I'm so torn. The fridge is so small. I almost can't read it. The best feud was the best feud, the best feud, the best feud, the best feud. Oh, I gotta do it. I gotta do it. I gotta say Kim versus Kyle. It's just versus Kyle. We spent so long. We've spent so much time taking sides on this. How could it not be the best feud? Okay, I'll go with ya. Yay. Congratulations Kim versus Kyle. Unfortunately, you do not win anything from the target dollar aisle. Wait, wait, Ronnie, who would you prefer? Because I could have quote unquote Steve Harvey debt. I was gonna say also Kate versus Leon or Lisa Rene versus Kim. My personal favorite of these, which, you know, look, your personal favorite doesn't always win, guys. You know, that's why there's betting pools and people winning people lose. And I lost. Because mine was gamble versus Janet because that was the silliest thing. Janet heard from some gay dude that she had sex parties because he saw something on Facebook, but it was just a regular pool party. And it turned into the most hilarious fucking thing ever. It went on all season. It spawned the best lines of the season. And then even when they agreed to disagree or they agreed that it was all bullshit, the sister came in with a neck brace and a new face. I mean, this shit was just too good. I know. But then arguing can also be made for Kate versus Leon because it was this simmering fight that had to do with cardboard boxes and beef cheeks and Kate just constantly making these little jabs and Leon being such a pig and it all ended with a fire in the oven. I think I couldn't vote for that one because Leon got so aggressive that it made me feel like he could actually hit her and it made me uncomfortable. But it also brought out the best in Kate. Oh yes, bringing out the worst. But then Kim versus Kyle, who is the winner that I read, that's like the feud that it's like. It's like that is such a meaty feud that stems from childhood that just is so there's just so much in it, you know? I mean, we spent a half an hour last week talking about it and that's not the first time. We get into it. There are their books written about it. So I think actually, Gamble versus Janet is fun, versus Leon is fun, but they cancel each other out and Kim versus Kyle takes over. And Kyle, you know what? You're right because Kim versus Kyle, that's a fight where if they both end up decapitating each other with their swords at the exact same time, it would still be fun to watch and no one would leave upset. Yeah, I agree. We don't get our money's worth out of that one. And also when it's real life and you watch people actually trying to ruin each other's life on TV, I mean, there is a certain joy in that, you know? So much of this shit is faked. And you're like, Oh my God, she just outed her as being a drunk on national TV. Oh my God, she just outed Kyle's shady business dealings on national TV. Like, it gets good. Yeah, I mean, and there's a dog. They'll everything with the dog. I mean, everything at that reunion. I mean, that actually, it was it was the foundation for a really riveting season. And seeing Kingsley, like, we saw Kingsley come in to help Kim get rehabilitated. And of course, he's like a monster who's biting off children's hands and Kim was never rehabilitated anyway. So it's just all such a beautiful arc of pain. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Run away, trained. Never done that. I don't know the words to anything. Okay. The next award. The Martin Lauren's blood award for outstanding achievements in table drama. The nominees are fresh and easy. Oh, by fresh and easy. I'm going to miss those bell peppers in a sealed fucking candy package. Weirdos. Amy's broken table in secrets and wives. Max, Max, what'd you do the table? Max, was it for Insta? Is it for Insta? Max, Max, where's the L bracket? Max. Max, get the monkey wrench. Max. No, you did not do that, Max. No, you did not. We'll go up, Max. Caroline Fleming's bookcase table in Ladies of London. It wasn't so much a drama. It was just that there was a bookcase in the table. She also had drama where she had all those trees in the center of the table where you couldn't see each other. Yeah. Actually, this year at Christmas, those trees were gone. And I said, where are these trees? Because I've told everybody on the podcast that you have these trees, and we can never speak to each other. And she said, you complained about them, so I got rid of them. And now you want them back? Oh, that's typical. Merry Christmas. And Lisa's still fun. Okay. Domes, creme de la creme table drama, and real housewives of Cheshire with McGarley. I'll tell you, I was this close to telling McGarley to walk right out of the tent, but I didn't do it. It don't come up to me. I tell Don, I tell her, boom, boom, boom, bang, bang, bang. And she say, oh, oh, oh, and I say, no, no, no. And she say, whoa, whoa, whoa. And I say, oh, traffic coming ambulance. And then she gets to the table. I say nothing. So good. The naked lady acting as a sushi table who should get a job on the real housewives of Orange County. Get a jab. Wait, you think you're most proud of this? Yeah. People are eating fish off your boobs. Okay, you know, come and turn for me. And then the actual table dancer drama on Mary to medicine. Yeah. This was a good year for housewives who are most likely getting cheated on handing out business cards to strippers. It's great year for it. Great. So good. It's a pyramid scheme. It's the only scheme I could come up with it. My husband doesn't watch horse dance on. The winner is naked lady acting as a sushi table who should get a job on the real housewives of Orange County. You know, I know this. They deserve it. I'll wait for the applause to that. They deserve that applause. I know that sounds like it should get lukewarm applause, but you know, that was really a very big turning point for people because even though people were already against Vicki, her own behavior aside from the cancer lies and starting to detox program to capitalize on fake cancer that she knew was fake and helped Brooks fake in her non-existent trapper keeper. The thing that really started turning people was Vicki's behavior aside from all that, like telling off a poor hooker who can't move and is just trying to get her money's worth out of her implants by making her $20 an hour serving California role operatives. You know, that was rude. I thought for sure it was going to be Amy's table from secrets and wives. I thought for sure. I think if that had actually turned into something where anything got accomplished, I would have been down. But at the end, it was just a broken Ikea table. I know that's why, because the fact that they had to put that in the show. That's what the show is about, like, stupid shit happening in Long Island. In Long Island, our kids go away for summer. They go to summer camp. That's what we call a North Shore summer. Or then Liza throwing that chandelier off the balcony just to say goodbye to her husband. It's like all the new children who bought that house are going to walk around with bloody feet for the first month. Oh my goodness. So good. Love that show. I'm so sad that that show is canceled. Me too. And Bravo must really have hated that because they never cancel anything. They just never announce that it's coming back again. But this time, well, they probably had, like, Susan, Susan would probably call me, like, "Hey, Andy, are you gonna call? You gonna give us another show? Give us another season?" And Liza's like, "Yeah." It's like, "Hey, you know, it'd be great if we had another show. I'm paralyzed with excitement. Paralyzed!" The next award is Best Fight. All right. First is Lisa Rinna versus Kim Richards throwing the champagne glass and grabbing the turkey. Oh, that was a good one. Claudia, how are you talking about me or about your husband? Don't talk about my husband. You beast. I lean sort of in the mix there, too. Claudia versus Nini, because this happened this year when Claudia read Nini, and the first time that Nini ever faced a worthy adversary, and it was exhilarating. It really was. Nini could not, I mean, she's bad at sentences anyway, but she could not even form a sentence. That was so good. That was amazing. It ended in a soup kitchen for some event for homeless people or something. So good. So good. I still don't know why they got rid of Claudia. Cynthia versus Portia on the boat when she kicked Portia. That was good. Lisa Nicole versus Quad. That was good when they showed up off for it to, like, make amends, and it wound up with Lisa Nicole, like, throwing your glass and quads face. Oh my god. And then quad pretending and then quad pretending she had a huge scar down the side of her face when she didn't. And even her own husband was like, you don't even got a copy. I was bleeding out the face. No, you weren't. It was a scratch. Shut up. Then Shannon versus Vicki, the season finale when Shannon said, I am steamed. I am mad. I thought you would tell this one. You would tell this ronda about everything. I am furious. Who's this ronda bitch? I can't believe you would tell her about David's affair at that day of it had because David had an affair. David David. Geneva versus the taxi driver on blood, sweat, and heels. When Geneva simply did not pay her fare because she did not like the service that she got. And then she like gave out a bullet point of talking point. She had a series of talking bullet points for everyone. So they could be clear on the situation at brunch. She's like, I was getting my nails done. And then the police came in. And arrested me Geneva. I'm never excitable. Also, Geneva is a double nominee in this category because Geneva versus Melissa Ford at the season finale when she I believe she broke a glass pitcher over Melissa Ford's head or something like that. Jesus, it's the year of glass pitchers and glasses and faces. She got arrested. It was a big big. It's a big deal. Um, cania versus Tammy's crazy nephew from like a week ago. That was, that was more scary. Yeah, that was scary. I don't like it when it's an aggressive man against a woman. That's weird. Kristen versus James. When they horse faces, horse face one seriously, seriously during their breakup. Well, I think you could actually say it's a bunch of things. It's the, the take a good look, Kristin. And also when he's spat on her door, all that stuff. Jill versus heavenly. When, when heavenly calls Jill stupid. Candy's ants verse that the ski cabin down the hill with all the ice in the steps. Oh, that was so, so, so good. That whole thing was so good. I mean, like two episodes of serious family fighting drama because the ants had to stay far away. I don't know how candy could do this, do it. Are you expecting us to walk up that hill? It's a hill. That's a hill. That's a hill, candy. Oh, and then finally Jessica versus MJ on Shah's a sunset. Oh my goodness. Well, this was Jessica versus everybody. And it was amazing. Jessica showed up three faces later ready to fight with people in some Thai restaurant in Hollywood that, you know, it was a Thai restaurant because it's so well lit. They're all like fluorescent lighting inside, which did not help her bounty house face. And then everybody was trying to be like, Hi, Jessica. Nice to see you, honey. She's like, well, it's not nice to see you, assholes. You're ruining everything. We're sorry. Yeah, you are sorry. Just fighting with nobody over nothing. So good. She's such a little whatever cut that nest. So now the winner for Best Fight is. It goes to Lisa Rina versus Kim Richards. Kim Richards cannot be here tonight to accept this award because she's standing outside the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion waiting for the Oscars of 1976 to begin. Yeah, this was a close one. It really was. It was so close to Claudia versus Nini because that was like years, years like waiting for someone to finally go up against Nini. And it was so great. And I watched that. That watched that fight many times. But you can't deny Lisa Rina throwing a champagne. First of all, throwing the champagne in, in, in, um, Tim Richards face and then throwing the glass on the ground and reaching for her throat. And you have Eileen saying you beast. And you have Kim everything in car running. It was just Kyle outside trying to make it about herself. And then it ended up with Kim just kind of standing there alone in the restaurant, like with Brandy, you know, flittering about her. And Kim's just like, how was that? Yeah. And then Brandy's like, and Brandy's like, see who's there for you, Kim? See who's there for you? Yeah, basket of bread. I can always count on you, Brad. Yeah, that was, by the way, do we nominate Kim Richards for biggest disaster? If we didn't, that was a failure. She she should. That's a retroactive nomination if we didn't. But yeah, that was, you know, the thing is that the Claudia versus Nini thing was so great. But this was actually, you know, this is going to be a fight that everyone's going to remember. And Lisa is still pissed. I love it. Like whenever she brings it up now, she's still so mad at Kim Richards, because she jumped over that freeway thing to get away from her. It's like, you better get back here, Kim Richards Richards, jump on the freeway, stupid lady. All right, take us to the next category, Ronnie. The next category. Best voice. This is a good one. There are so many to choose from. I think Bravo must do phone interviews first, because they always pick people with amazing voices. The nominees for Best Voice this year. Oh, loisah, you got loisah. You got loisah from secrets and wives. Did you hear that? I got nominated. He said best voice, loisah. That's me. That's crazy. Hey, hey, Andy, do you hear that? That's crazy. Magala from the real house was a Cheshire. Whoa, whoa, whoa, Ronnie, whoa, whoa. They fight. I say no fight. They want to laugh. I say no laugh. You say you say tomato? I say tomato. And you know what I say? Why not everybody say tomato? This is what I say. I'm in school again. He has a voice. I have a voice. She's from Cheshire. He from Cheshire. She ding, ding, ding. I dong, dong, dong. So what? You know, so what? Whoa, whoa, whoa, and get from real house was a Cheshire. I always, I always admit that I have six voices that I choose between to do this show and use them for every single show and just change the name. But when we do these awards, I really see how bad I am about that. So far, he's gambled for like five people. Next up is I'm Pika from the real house was a Cheshire. I'm a look like a lady, but I'm a snake. You can put a bottle of clove on it, but still go have six with it. And if you have six with it, then it's going to be a snake and it's nice to know each ear. And I'll never have a white wedding with ball clove on. But that's the thing I have because I'm a Maastros. Hold on. Lauren from Cheshire. She's wild brat. She's wild brat moving to Arizona. It's very important to be wild brat. Gina, Gina from the real house was an album. Looks like we got a real Eddie export about the action. It's over here. You're an insignificant out there. Caroline Fleming. How lucky are you to be able to impersonate my voice? Ben Mandel. You're editing something and Ben Mandelkor's pink name was in front of this next one. Shure Whitfield from Real House Songs of Atlanta. You see what about? I got a good voice. I got a good voice. You got a good voice. You got a good voice? You got a good voice? You got a good voice? I got a good voice. You got a good voice? You got a good voice? You got a good voice? You got a good voice? Toia. Oh my god. Well, this is definitely, before we even read the winner, this is definitely my favorite Ben right here. Toia would win the award. Well, what I should have done was try to walk in my voice a little bit more so I could win in the award for all dream and get no matter I'm the only on the map. That's what I should have done. Ambulance De Breda for the real housewives of New York City. You know what? If you want to make a stab, which you make a stab, which I mean, what do I keep? Dobby and Dobby from Real House Songs of Sesha. And the winner is Dorinda. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, she was the envelope. It fell down on the floor. De Breda from the Real Housewives of New York City. You know what I like about me. She's the real girl. You know what? I get stuck girls real with the jet. I, you know what? Like, sometimes, like if you don't want a sandwich, don't have a sandwich. I love me some Dorinda. I love that her voice completely can change from like normal drunk sounding to really drunk sounding, but it's that part of it that droopy the dog or Rosie the maid from Jetsons. I just love Dorinda and I also really like Dorinda and I like that she's so excited to be a housewife and this year apparently she's going to go effing crazy on the show, so I can't wait to see her fighting down and dirty with people. Yeah. All right. Next category. Best newcomer. And the nominees are Dorinda, who just won for Best Voice. Luller. Be nice to Luller. Be nice to Luller. Give an award. Be nice to Luller. Jill the Daffodil. Megan. Jill the Daffodils from Merritt to Medicine. She was the white girl who went crazy. She actually could have been disaster too. We forgot about that. She stabbed her husband with... Well, all that stuff happened off camera. We didn't even get to see it. What the hell, Bravo? Well, technically it was addressed on the reunion. But yes. It was addressed by Toya that doesn't count. Who knows if that was even true? Well, I had the talk to her on the e-mails and textuses and she said because she got blood on herself and it broke it. Next and best newcomer. Next nominee. Megan King Edmonds, #justice. Justice. Knowledge. She care. Yeah. Gumbo, the housewives of Melbourne. Petifler, also from Real Housewives of Melbourne, which the bitch I'm freaking out. I would like to welcome my son to give a speech for my birthday. To the mother, I wanted to stick my penis inside. But dryness since I came out of it. Whoa, whoa, a bit much there. Calm down you. Now we will dance. I'm going to arrive on a half moon and then dance. Chantal from Blood, Sweat and Heels. You know, we sort of forget that Chantal was a crazy... She wasn't a crazy bitch, but she was just like a bitch. But in a fun way. She really was. And also Chantal is very mysterious to me. I'm not really sure what she is yet. She's just an odd little creature. I'm not sure what's going on with her. She came in as a friend of like Geneva's and then she was like, "Oh, well, Micah's the cool one. So I'm going to switch over there." And then she's like, "Chantal, everyone's like Chantee, Chantee." And she's like, "I'll have a brother who works in a yogurt factory." So... Don't you want to move to America? You want to have to work in the yogurt? I'm like, "But I love the yogurt." But I'll have your way. You know, here we do classy things. I staff waiters. And then finally, the last nominee for Best Newcomer is Arzo from Blood, Sweat. Yes, for me. You know, I kind of feel like it's racist. What you just said about Afghan homes. It's really hard to introduce my parents to yesterday because they're all about not looking at the past. So... Arzo cracked me up. Again, like, I feel like we sort of forgotten about them. But like, Arzo really, really made me laugh because she often, she was just say shit that a big big be laugh. But the winner for Best Newcomer goes to... Megan King Edmonds. Now it's just a rough category too. Yeah. I mean, a real strong case could be made for Derinda and for Gamble. But there's no one to make it because the only good lawyer is Megan King Edmonds. Yeah, Megan King Edmonds is the only newcomer who has a category in the crappies all to herself. So although we actually, we could have, you know what, who should have also been in this. I'm going to retroactively add it even though she's not going to win. I'm going to say Caroline Fleming. Well, Caroline Fleming was pretty good. Yeah, I think she was pretty good. She's a best newcomer also. I just added her in pretend like she was nominated before. Okay. But she still loses to Megan King Edmonds because Megan... Yeah, she still loses. Yeah. Because Caroline Fleming, she was really funny and she also has her own category that was highly entertaining. But Megan King Edmonds actually drove the season. She drove the plot forward. And so... I don't like that, but it was a really seminal moment because Vicki Gumbelstin, traditionally, every single time hates the young girl. They always put a young girl. Vicki always goes up against the young girl. And Vicki was brought down this year for the first time ever by a young girl. And I was like, you go, girl. That's like full circle. Vicki's fault. You know why? Because she normally hates the young girl right out of the gate. And instead she was actually like all right with Megan for a good amount of time. And then that gave Megan enough power to be able to go after her, I think. Well, yeah, it was her kryptonite. You know why? Because Megan King Edmonds was married to someone way richer than Vicki. And that's the only thing Vicki respects is money. She's only nice to people who are richer than her, which is why she'll never fight with Heather either. Like she is respectful of anyone richer than her. So they got a young girl who skinny and blonde who Vicki would hate. But unfortunately she's married to a celebrity who's got a shit ton of money. So Vicki had to be quiet. The producers cast her a nice little ball of just a script tonight. Yeah. And Megan, you know, the thing is when she first appeared, it just seemed like she's going to be a non entity. One of these young girls just wants to be on camera, etc. But she she earned her, she earned her keep. She she did it. And I'm like looking forward to another season of her stirring shit up, but then also making fun of her too. When she started her first fight and tried to make this huge party fight about that stupid, and Shannon being rude to her on the phone that I was like this girl. There's no way she's going to last for even another episode. And then she brings down Vicki love it. Yeah, absolutely. And by the way, and Derinda definitely is a close second because how could you like overlook Derinda starting a fight with Heather Thompson about walking into a restaurant together? Hey, wait up. Why don't you go wait up? That's red. And then continue it about nothing because she's so drunk. That was so good. All right, Heather, we're for the say play panel. Heather, we're from this thing neighborhood. Like we could have been walking down this neighborhood street. Now here's what you do, you know, look at the light in London. Lord Derinda. Ronnie, you get a real fun category. Oh, what do I get next? Oh, my gold. Here we go. I was scrolling around. I don't even know why I'm not even reading. I'm just scrolling because that's what an American does in front of a computer. Because it's fun. The worst. Literally, that's the category. It's just says the worst. In our traditional lazy season of Who's the Worst? Let's start spitting the table. Stassi from Vanderpump Rules. Who does that? I want to add that, like, I think when the crap, when Vanderpump Rules first started, Stassi was probably also on something that was the worst. I don't remember. But then it was, she was on the worst for being just an awful, awful bitch. But now she's on here because she just was that annoying freshman in college coming back to high school acting like she's better than her. It was just awful. Like a bad contribution to the show. Yeah, like when the person shows up at high school and now they're a movie star, but not. She's like, but look at my statement, necklace. We saw that in Forever 21. You can't just glue five Forever 21 necklaces together and then just call it a statement. It's not a statement. Yeah, she ruined everything that was, like, entertaining about herself. So it's an Albatross, darling. That statement is all right. So I had just definitely on from below dick. Truly the worst. Beefcheeks, beefcheeks, frozen, boxes. Oh my god, frozen conch was the worst. Who has frozen conch? Look, I've never even heard of that. He's like, well, I've got some frozen. You do? Okay. Um, Eddie from below deck. Oh, Lord. Oh my god. He got my blood boiling. I really. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You like it? Oh, wait, we're not allowed to have sex on this. All right, lace some bounce dryer sheets out first. All right. It's like you can't even fuck off camera, you know, and not follow the rules. Eddie, boo, Eddie, boo Alex P Keaton. Next up, Nini from Real Housewives of, I mean, kind of Atlanta still, I guess. Yeah. Well, she was she was so mean. Yeah, Nini is always the worst. She can win this. She could win the worst always. Yeah. She could win the worst restaurant of the year award and she's not even a restaurant. We're Cinderella. That's for sure. She's a lock on that one. She's going to be on like the zagat worst service of 2015 and she's not even a waiter. Mariah from Mary to Medicine. Mariah from Mary to Medicine. I'm going to tell them off and then nothing. That was another Real Housewives of Cheshire moment for her. Yeah. That reunion. Brandy, who continues to be the worst, even not on TV. Yeah, she's always wearing shirts like like past the wine or whatever it says when she's hanging out with Kim Richards. Yeah, being being sober sucks. Yeah. Yeah, that's what it is. Yeah. So being sober sucks as she's walking with how so utterly like tone deaf to a situation. Brooks from Real Housewives of Orange County. Oh, yeah, especially when he was coked up on Andy Cohen while talking to Andy Cohen. Wow. Yeah, that was good. All defensive. Uh, I don't know why Vicki would lie about such a thing. The woman tells untruths more than anybody I know. Rose is a red. Violet's a blue. Fuck you, Andy. I'm talking to you. Like, whoa, Brooks, where'd the poetry go, Brooks? Teresa's lawyer from Real Housewives of New Jersey. Oh, the lawyers testimonials from the Housewives of New Jersey. So nice to buy Teresa that Alexis SUV. So nice. I wonder where he got that money from. You know, that's just like, uh, it's probably got a sticker for the dealership on the back. That's so loaned for six months. Um, so what else? Let's see. Teresa's lawyer trainers on workout New York. Okay, there he went. Uh, Demetria from Blood, Sweat and Heels. Asifa, Asifa, Asifa, Asifa, Asifa and Bobby from. They were also terrible. They were terrible. Terrible. Having a fight about whether to serve something on paper plates or regular plates, literally for two weeks with his, like, plastic surgery, mustache or like, or stubble and like, hair plugs and it's like, you still look like Yoda, like a smooth Yoda with terrible plugs, but you still Yoda, like, where are you going for your surgery people? She's like, you banged my friend. He's like, we were broken up, but you banged my friend. That's like, you know, Bravo sends out some group email to everybody on Bravo. And they're like, okay, um, June 2nd is when the doctor is coming in. He'll be in a giant air stream outside the Bravo offices. So whoever needs something done, just show up and they all show up and get in a line. You know, it's like the free spay or new to your dog. By the way, I want to give a retroactive nomination from a previous category for entrepreneurial. I want to give Asa for her veil thing in front of, in front of the Vegas buffet here in Hollywood. Oh my God, most embarrassing fucking street art of all times. In front of the fashion. Fresh and easy. That's now defined closing a fresh and easy. That's unclear. And she's like, drop the veil or keep it on, whatever you want. She was like the final nail and the fresh and easy coffin. They're like, we didn't want to go to the store before, but we just saw a bunch of people standing up for the right to make women wear burgers. Jesus. It's my choice. It's my choice. Okay, yeah, it's your choice to walk around and fucking handcuffs in a blindfold to do it. Let's see how long it takes you to get run over. You dumb cow. Okay, going in mic from Shah's a sunset. Yeah, Jessica, the worst. Okay, can we just hear the worst after Jessica is so lame that we're just going to name her the worst in every single award. Yeah, but Mike is pretty bad too. Don't forget, Mike is pretty damn bad. Mike is bad, but he's just like, I don't know, I don't mind him because I just feel like he wants to please so bad. He will just do anything to please people. He acts like this arrogant son of a bitch, but he really just wants. He's just wants friends, you know, like I feel kind of bad for him slightly, slightly, but as bad as you can feel for anybody on shots of sunset. Okay. Richard Blaze from Top Chef Top Shufferies. Yes. Who's also terrible and opens his mouth way too wide. No, yeah, biggest offensive all. Yeah, it is. He's got that Ryan C. Crust way of opening his mouth bigger than his head. It's weird. And Lauren Manzo from Egg Salads of New Jersey. Oh God, this is a long list. I have to think about this. Who's who's it going to be? I've got the, I think the audience is waiting with bid breath. Okay. And I have the envelope right here. The trainers on Workout New York. I hate you guys. I hate all of you. I hope that there's a huge earthquake in New York that only hits that gym that you're all filming you and it falls in on all your heads. Okay. Jerks. I hate those guys. I don't mind an arrogant person, but an arrogant person who's like, we're going to change the world. And then they're like doing, she's like, do another push up to do another push up. And then people who walk around saying brand so much. Oh fuck all of you guys, you make out a role look bad. I might have given it to Asafah and Bobby or to Eddie from Below Deck. But I think it's, I think the trainers on Workout New York is a perfectly good winner for the worst. They're the worst because Asafah and Bobby at least tried. These people don't even try. They don't even know what they're doing. They're so drugged out of their mind on GNC energy pills or whatever the fuck do people take walking around brand, brand, brand. Well, I don't know if my brand aligns with her brand. Shut up. You don't have a brand. Stupid male whore standing around with a drink tray acting like you now a member of the community. Shut up. Look at that now. I refuse to continue this award show. I'm furious at Workout New York. Well, in the tradition of all good award shows, we now have a musical performance. David. David? Yeah. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. 40 to 50 negative thoughts a day. Who would have thought I could have reached this beautiful place? David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. Judge E. Ice. And now for another musical performance since this is an award show, we're going to have a duel. Okay. So the next musical performance, just play that again. This song sounds almost exactly the same, but this is from Erica Jane, a newcomer on Real Housewives the Beverly Hills. Please welcome Erica J. David. David. David. David. David. David. - They were fucking... - They were fucking... - They were fucking... - David. - They were fucking... - David. - They were fucking... - They were fucking... - They were fucking... - They were fucking... - They were fucking... - They were fucking... - David. - They were fucking... - David. - They were fucking... - David. - They were fucking... - David. - They were fucking... - David. - David. - David. - David. - David. - David. - David. - David. - David. - David. - David. - David. - David. - David. - David. - David. - David. - David. - David. - David. - David. - David. - David. - David. [MUSIC] Looking at me naked. Okay, I know that sounded like the same song, but it spelled D-V-D. Yeah, yeah, it was totally a different song. All right, she's such a talent. God, I hope she finds a costume that fits soon. [LAUGH] All right, now the award for Best Bravo Star. Okay, the nominees are Caroline Stanbury. I know. Caroline Fleming. How lucky. How lucky are you to have me in your category? Liza. Paralyzed. Luanne. It's not girl code. It's not girl code. Based solely on the power of be cool, don't be all uncool. Lisa Rina. [LAUGH] Shannon Bador. David. David. David. Every day the sun comes up and I get sad that it's not the moon. [LAUGH] I'm having 40 to 50 negative thoughts about this award show. Cameron from Southern Charm. I like her, but you know that bitch needs to get her hands dirty. Yeah, she does. But I like a Greek chorus. And you know what, the funny, the best thing about the Greeks is that they were all fucking each other behind their wives backs. Do something, Cameron. Shep from Southern Charm, who did get his hands a little dirty this season. Shep is so funny. I really like Shep a lot. And I liked it when he was being a whiny bitch. [LAUGH] Claudia Jordan. David de Goliath. Claudia Jordan taking down Nini Leakes. [LAUGH] Oh, poor thing. She took down Nini Leakes, but she couldn't take down Portia. Although, no one can take down Portia. I mean, she's beat people. She's like, she's been fired, I think, ten times, but she's always back. Yeah. Daisy from Bloodsped and Heels. Sweet, sweet Daisy. She went through real cancer. Unlike our other jokers. And she, she went through it. She wasn't annoying about it. And it was really moving. And there was even one, one episode that I think it like got me misty-eyed and choked up. I don't remember what it was. I think it was about like- I think people should get awards for having cancer. Well, no, but handling it. Well, it's more like the cancer made you realize how lovely she was. You're like, oh, Daisy. Also from Bloodsped and Heels. Micah. Micah, Micah, Micah. Micah. I mean, she is the star of that show. She is so funny. I mean, she deserves more credit for being a hilarious character. Yeah, she's fantastic. She is. Whoa. Magali. Whoa. Loving Magali. She's at the end of her second season. But since we're still on episode six of season one, I'm hoping that she stays gold forever. Because love her. Love her. Kate from Below Deck. Kate, who was actually on our very podcast. Love Kate. Obviously we love her. And you know what? Just because Kate was mentioned. I talked to Kate and Nadine about leaf blowers. I swear for 10 minutes. Because we talked about how much we hate leaf blowers and how they're just like moving leaves around. Guess who's that side right now? Blowing a blower. The leaf blower. Yeah. Well, Kate. I love you. Kate is fantastic. Lauren from Cheshire. Lauren, who has a home in Arizona, has a sewing books. Have you ever taken out a frozen pizza and it just didn't taste good anymore? Comparing frozen eggs to bad tombstones. So good. I hope that Heather Dubrow goes back and redoes her stupid tree art. And instead of the little eggs at the bottom of the tree for the frozen embryo she never used, she just has like expired tombstones. M.J. from Shahza sunset. No, I'm not into that. I'm not into that. I boycott that nomination. And lastly, Candy Burris. Whoa. No. No. No. No. No. No. This is hard. There are some. You forgot the queen. How dare you, sir? At least a Vanderpump. Of course. You're not going to nominate the queen of Bravo. I'm sorry. I almost like it was so obvious. I just, this is a tight category. I'll tell you right now before I open this envelope. I think it's only being tight in this category. I think it's going to be a toss-up between Caroline Stanbury, Liza Rina. Claudia Jordan. No, not Claudia Jordan. And Kate Blodek. I don't know. It's going to be a real tight one. I don't know who it's going to be. And the winner of Best Bravo Star at the Golden Krabby is for a two. 2015 is Caroline Stanbury. Clear the audience. Clear the audience. Caroline Stanbury is the best cast member of every show ever. Clear. I was, I'll tell you, I was torn because, again, Liza, I'm loving Liza Rina on Real House. She keeps it real. She's funny, but she can also, like, get nasty and play with the girls. I mean, she was in the fight. She was in the best fight of the year. She's great. And also, you know, like I said, you know, Daisy, she's so sweet. And Claudia took down Nini. Those are all great things. I really like her and think she's very funny, but I do need to see Rina. I need to see less surface Rina because right now it's like 90% of an ad for something. I actually don't even mind. Isn't that weird? I don't like it. I want to see Liza Rina when they've really broken her down, but she is so good with her Hollywood charm robot giggle that it takes a lot to break her down. And I feel like so far, she's only gone after the weak ones. I mean, I think, Brandon... You know what though? She, it was because of Lisa Rina that we had, we had quite the season last season. It was because of Lisa Rina, you know, going at Kim Richards. It was Lisa Rina who threw down that champagne glass. It's Lisa Rina now who's starting to take the first shots at Yolanda. She's funny. Lisa Rina is great. Kate from Below Deck has the funniest comments. She's so hilarious. Claudia took down the best goodbye ever when Rocky was like, "Okay then. Bye." She's like, "Goodbye." It's staring at her eye fully. But honestly, Caroline Stanbury, I mean, the one liners, her cold take down. Her cold take downs of people, her way of just being sort of like effortlessly glamorous. And, you know, putting everyone out of business and then going on holiday. I don't know. I just think she's just, she's just great. She, she's so great, you know. Talking about how bad she feels for the poor people while her slave wipes fucking cat. We are off her face. Oh my God. No, really, Caroline Stanbury is, is, it's absolutely perfection. It could have gone to any of those other women, but it's Caroline. Clara, Pauline, scrap everybody off this floor and clear them before they get retaken by the box. Oh, right. You won another award. Oh, fine. Send Pauline over to fetch it. Pauline's over on the Thames right now. Oh, well. Where's everyone? I don't know. Just, just go over to London. Oh, Benny's mom. Don't have my best. Just go there and get it. Just ride Pauline. I don't know. All right. Next category. The worst show of the year. Right. We're getting close to the end is our second to last category. All right. The worst show of the year. And was it planned this way so I could be the most negative. Because if you want us to-- Actually, why don't we switch it? Because I think last year I chose Best Show. No, no, no. You can do it. I really like the negative award. Oh, OK. I'm OK with it unless you want to take it. I actually want you to do Best Show this year. OK. Go for it. I'm going to do a worst show. OK. [MUSIC PLAYING] The nominees for worst show are-- [MUSIC PLAYING] Manzode with children. Congratulations, manzode with children. You've won. Nothing. [MUSIC PLAYING] I don't even know if we can judge that. We only watched one. We were like, this is dumb. Yeah, one's enough sometimes. Workout New York, which I know is your favorite, least favorite show. Untying the knot, which is somehow came back for a second season. Real Housewives of New Jersey, tree checks in. Don't be tardy. Mother funders. And my fab 40th, which has oddly enough one already, one crappy. [LAUGHTER] All right. And the winner is for worst show. [MUSIC PLAYING] Real Housewives of New Jersey, tree checks in. Whoa. That's a shocker bin. What did you think it was going to be? Workout New York? I thought it was going to be manzode. Well, I'll explain why Real Housewives of New Jersey checks in. You know, I hated mother funders. Mother funders was actually a terrible thing to sit through. Manzode's children was all these were terrible to sit through. I actually don't mind workout New York as much as you did. And I feel like we're only like a few episodes in. And I feel like workout New York might actually get me. But the reason why Real Housewives of New Jersey wins in this category is because, like almost all the other shows, nothing happens in this show. Every episode is sort of like centered around Teresa calling. And they hype everything up. Like, Teresa's going to call. Teresa's going to call. And when she calls, she's like, yeah, so I saw Dildo today. It's like what we waited an entire episode for this. And it's like, and then you have the lawyer saying how he feels. We have people coming. But even worse is that there's all this slow stuff. They put the children crying. Everyone's like, we were family. We stick together, even during hard times. I'm like, no. Well, I mean, it's good just for families to stick together. But you guys, they're criminals. Okay, Melissa. Melissa was the best trying to make it all about her. That was so good. Yeah, it's, it's just, you know, it's like, you know what? Teresa and Joe broke the law and they had several chances to avoid this outcome. You know, like there are, there were opportunities and they were so stupid, slash cocky, slash ridiculous, um, and that it got to this. And now they're like, Oh, no, the family, the family's being torn apart. What are we going to do? What's it going to be like? And the music's dramatic. I thought it was really terrible. And these, these are people who Teresa gets out of jail for all this stuff. And she still has a bow. Like she has a, a Lexus from her quote unquote lawyer. Uh, well, I mean, the lawyer is real, but like it's quote unquote from the lawyer. You know, he probably has an invoice to, to Joe, you guys for legal fees for, you know, like $80,000, right? And then funny how then the lawyer can then buy Teresa a new Lexus. It's awful to me. To me, it's an example of how America has gone wrong. It's an example of, of people abusing a system. It's an example of reality TV gone wrong. It is such a good example of how America makes it all right. Because, you know, these guys did some wrong things. I mean, I don't know what they did. They don't know what they did, but you know, they're sorry. Like they did something, you know, whatever. So what? Okay. So they did something wrong and, you know, sure, they're going to go to like pussy jail for a little while. But at the end, they still have a mansion now with all new furniture because of Feds East, all the, all the other stuff and a new car and millions of dollars and books. I just, and she's got a star center role on the next house. So I, so you know what I say? Yay, America. No, I, I think it would, I think it's an example of like there was, there was no story here. There's nothing interesting happening. It was just them walking around, going to restaurants, talking, but not talking about anything interesting. It was, I felt manipulated or so. When he had dinner with that obese ex-prison guy for advice and he's like, you want the advice? It's difficult in the prison. It's really tough in the, it's going to be real tough in prison for you. And Joe's like, yeah, so, uh, am I going to get blow jobs? Like, uh, what I do? What about the sex? Every question Joe, Joe Judas has is about sex. So funny. And then that's also when we got to see the girls taking care of the house, which means, uh, I'm sorry, Melania shaving Joe's back. I mean, which alone, which alone should get this show, the golden crappy for worst show for the next five years? Uh, I'm telling you, this is, it's also a reminder of how this franchise has fallen too. You know, I mean, you could make the same argument for man's with children, perhaps. But this is a, this is a franchise that was once great. And now it is just, you know, finding scraps and forming them into these, into a three episodes, you know, limited series. Yeah, I guess we're just, we're not happy because I, um, have always not like Jersey. I've never been a fan of Jersey. It's always made me crazy. And I just love that this one can be three episodes terrible and still be 10 times better than the last season was. Uh, yeah. Yeah, I don't know. That's it. Maybe because it was a rock. Three episodes. I don't know. I think I, I just, to me, what separates this from all the others because the others were pretty terrible too. Do you hear the leaf blower? I, it's me, the only leaf blower I hear is the metaphorical one of this short, this show is just like blowing around scenes of Joe and Melania and Teresa on a phone call and this is just get shifted around every week. And it's the same shit cluttering up the road of my life. It's human debris that never gets cleaned up, depraved and awful and really bad. All right. I should have him come inside and read off these nominees, but he's so terrified of me because I'm always like, hi, how are you? He's like, Oh, shut up, then audience audience has been asleep for all this time, but they finally woke up for the big category, right audience? I'm going to do, I'm going to do a Ricky Gervais version of hosting. I'm just going to tell everybody off and leave drunk. Okay. Best show of the year. Ladies of London. Which probably had the lowest rating. I think that, like, Nini's home shopping, MooMoo channel. Episode of, I mean, not episode, but the home shopping network probably got higher ratings for Nini's MooMoo, where the ladies of London got, but. God, I love that show. Real Housewives of Orange County, Real Housewives of New York City, Secrets and Wars. Golden Chum. Below Dick. They're best in the pump rules. Strong. They won last year. Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Great season. Secrets and Wives is so good that we're nominating it again. And Real Housewives of Melbourne. Now you see why I didn't want to do this one. I don't want the pressure. I still have a little bit of regret last year of giving the award to Real Housewives. I'm giving it to Vanderpump Rules over Game of Crowns because Game of Crowns was this was so good. But so Game of Crowns, yeah, Game of Crowns was good and gone. We should just pick everything that we know is canceled. Okay, Secrets and Wives, congrats. Okay. Okay, the winner is. Wait, let me get the envelope. Ready? Real Housewives of New York City. Yay. The winner of the audience was. Real Housewives of New York City. What a show. Okay. This show should have been terrible by now. They had that huge recast. They got rid of, like half the people, got rid of Zarin, etc. And everyone thought this, this is it. The newbies came in the first year. People were really not giving it that much of a chance. I mean, it took at least half a year or half a season rather for people to get warmed up to the newbies. And not only did they come through, but then when they brought Bethany back this year and we all thought, oh, my God, she is terrible now. Like we all hated her. I think pretty universally at first. And then not only did she morph into herself, we got to see her confront her. We got to find out about her racetrack family history. See her confront her father. Saw a million times. St. Carol refused to hug her. Then we saw Heather get ripped down by pretty much everybody and leave the show because someone wouldn't eat her meatball. Then we saw Derinda talking to a red balloon. Then we saw so many fucking losing, just fucking losing her mind this year. Ramona tried to be nice the whole year and actually semi succeeded and was still hilarious. But it was a great place that reminded her of Sunshine. We got girl code. We got Exala Francais. Exala Francais. We got that screaming on the trip, which was amazing. I mean, this show. Ramona hitting on guys in the bar on vacation and cock blocking everybody. Oh, my God. Classic. And Lou and Carol's feud at the end of the season was pretty strong, a really intense reunion. This is my favorite of all the real housewives. It was really, really strong. In fact, I would say this year, 2015 was a great year for the housewives. New York City was fantastic. Beverly Hills was fantastic. And so was Orange County was fantastic. And even Atlanta was fantastic. It was just great. But New York, you make a great case for New York City. I thought it was going to be ladies of London because ladies of London was hilarious. But ladies of London was more just like really funny to watch and make fun of. Whereas New York City actually had like actual stuff happening. So yeah, if it was the most fun to mock and do the voices and stuff like that, it would have been for me. It would have been secrets and wives or Melbourne or London really. I loved all of those. But as a viewer, my favorite just hands down was New York. I thought they are there just hysterical. This whole year was so funny and they're not trying. You know, a lot of these other shows, they really try so hard to come up with things to do and repeat story lines and do all this stuff to win fans. This show doesn't. They just show up. And even if they try, they cannot help it because their personalities are so insane and ridiculous. And they just kill me every fucking time. Ramona Singer slays. Watching Ramona go on dates and flirt with people. I could have fallen down very easily. It's great. I mean, New York City has probably the richest cast of characters. It always has. I mean, if you look back in season one when you have Countess Luland, Jill Zarin, Alex McCord, Ramona Singer, and Bethany. I mean, there probably has never been as good a cast as that. And then they bring in, I'm sorry. No, then the season two, they bring in Kelly Ben-Somone. Okay. This is, and Sonya, wasn't Sonya came in season two also? Maybe she was season three, one. I forget which one. She was season three, I think. Cause I didn't watch. I wasn't watching it yet. And I wasn't into all this crap back then. Either way, once it was Kelly and Sonya, that is, you have seven characters who could be like the stars of any franchise. Cause you know, every franchise has their signature stars. And you have all these women. It is by far the richest, deepest roster. Okay. And they lose some big names and they bring on some people. And it's still amazingly rich. Even when the Viva Drescher was on. It's great. The only one who was not. Oh God, Viva was hysterical. I can't believe she got fired. The only one who was, who was not worthy of being on Real Housewives was, um, the, the vaginal lady. The jazzled lady. The jazzled lady. I'm forgetting her name. And she was even not, and she wasn't even that bad. She was all right. But, but she just refused to participate. Like you can't just sit back. You know, like tutti. That's, it's like the danger of tutti. You can't just sit there and be like, everybody's gross. Of course they're gross. You're supposed to be too. Figure it out. Even Kristen Taekman. I mean, she's good. I mean, we, she, there just wasn't enough room for her this season. When Bethany came in, there's, you know, something had to give. But Kristen was good too. I mean, her first season, she was really enjoyable. She pushed back. She got into a big pile of Ramona. She, she got into little like squabbles this season. He kept on saying that she was doing nothing, but she was squabbling all season long. You know, it's, it's definitely the richest. Certainly trying. I think it's just really rough when you put a young girl in with all the older crows. You know, it's like hamsters. Chances are they're going to eat five of six of their babies. Yeah. I mean, if you're going to have, if you're going to bring in Derinda and Bethany. I mean, you just, there's just no room left for her. But it's, and the fact that you have Bethany and Carol becoming friends by the end of the season, it's like the, one of the best power alliances in all of Real Housewives. You know, an argument, as I, as I, like I've said now, a million times, an argument could really be made for Real House was at Beverly Hills. Cause that was honestly really, really strong season. And the honestly, I'm not going to get into the whole Kim thing. But that whole thing with Kim, with her, is she an addict? Is she not an act? What should she be doing? That was really compelling stuff like that. Harken back to season one and season two. Really entertaining. And an Orange County, obviously such an entertaining season, almost every single episode of Orange County, something really significant happened, which is unheard of. But the difference is that, that all happened in New York City too. And the, the differences that New York City had the best of both worlds. Compelling TV and voices would be like to make fun of. Yes. And I feel like Orange County was great, but it was a lot of stuff. One of the things that was so fun about it was that it was planned shit that blew up in Vicki's face. Cause Vicki is the ultimate liar planner. She always has been. She makes up storylines every season. And even though people know she's full of shit and we know she's full of shit, they always, she always kind of wins in a way, you know? Yeah. And this season she didn't. And it was amazing. But the Tamara becoming a Christian whole thing really bugged the shit out of me. I did not buy it. I did not buy it. I thought that was like the lowest of the low. Like how you feel about Jersey is how I feel about Tamara. That's funny. That's funny. Yeah. And even Atlanta, you know, the thing is we always talk about Atlanta that Atlanta is the show that it's just more funny to watch than interesting. But I thought actually last season was interesting with everything with Apollo. That was, there was some like ripping stuff in there. And Claudia, I thought really brought the show alive. But it wasn't in the same, it wasn't, we didn't even nominate it, it wasn't in the same category. And honestly, Below Deck was really entertaining this season. Below Deck was really, really good this season. And they had the shittiest guests I think of any season. They never had a good entertaining guest, but they watching them was so good because I don't think anybody planned on Rocky becoming that crazy. No. Nobody plans beyond being that much of an asshole. No one planned on Alex Pete Eaton, like boning that girl in the secret laundry room or with his secret door to the laundry room. That was so good. Yeah. And I'd say, you know, Vanderpump rules. Well, this season has been, it's, Vanderpump rules is always entertaining. You know, if there's, you can almost always get a good episode every week. But the thing is that season one and season two had such amazing bombshells that happen. And that season three and season four have been really entertaining, but they, they can't, it just can't compete with these other shows that are just just so good. Yeah. It's fun to watch now. And I still love Vanderpump rules, but they're very aware. Yeah. And now it's starting to look like all these weird old ladies standing around making fun of the young people because the new people that are obviously going to be the heads of the new cast because how long can that last? Well, that's why it's good that Lala is there because Lala is, she thinks she knows how to play it, but she's like messing up, but that's, but that's what's good. You need, you need some of these young people to, to mess it up. I mean, the best episode of the season to me was the gay pride episode when a lot, like when James sleeps with that girl Lauren and then Lauren and Lala are sitting there at the host desk and James comes and kisses Lala, even though he just had sex with Lauren the night before. And then Lala is like, I'm a mad, I'm mad at James. Like, where do you get those, those scratches? And Lauren's like, you know, I just drop it. You don't need to know. Just drop it. And then Jax, then then, and then Lala is mad at James. So she's sort of floating with Jax and then, and then to get back at Lala James and says it's Lauren. And then to get back at Lauren, Lala goes and tells Anthony that Lauren was with James. I mean, that's just amazing. And that was all. So good. And have we ever seen Lauren again? No. She's been shipped off to Villa Blanca. She's probably Greg's sister. The parents called them were like, you are coming home, young lady. But it was a really good. You know, I just want to give one more props to Orange County because Orange County has been around the longest. And they have had back to back to fantastic seasons because last season with Shannon versus Heather, that was great. Oh, that was so good. And this year we got Miss 30 year old and just Shannon in general. Shannon's breakdown is the best thing that's ever happened to me. Just watching her spiral more and more out of control is just killing me. You know, they're doing like a marriage to her. They're doing some like marriage counseling thing because Shannon's businesses are like real things that are happening in her life, you know, like my website or not my website. My, I'm fat, you know, or whatever. And she's, I don't know if she's going to come out with a diet book, but you know, she's got to have some business soon. And right now it looks like they're going to be doing some marriage, troubled marriage tour or something. So she's like taking David on tour to talk about what an ass he is. Are you sure it's not a tour to show how to make mashed potatoes in the microwave? Could be that. Could be that. You may have gotten confused. I don't have papers. I do this all myself. Okay. Now I want eight grapes. Peel them. David, David, how could you get two bottles of white wine for 150 guests at our seminar? And just the image of David Bedour hiding on top of the Bluetooth standalone. Or kills me. And it never even happened, but we've talked about it so many times. So I just imagine David like, I need some time alone, honey. Oh my God. You know, talking about this makes me, you know, first of all, it gives me two emotions. One, it makes me feel even more secure about using New Jersey as the worst because when you talk about how good orange county and New York City. Are after all these years and after retooling, et cetera, et cetera. And how they can still just kill it. And then you look at New Jersey and he got this pathetic limping show that just needs to be scrapped and redone or whatever. It makes me hate tree checks and even more. But the other emotion I'm feeling is, wow. I mean, weren't counting that show on every level. They even made cancer look fun. Yeah. But you know what though, it also makes me feel like, wow, like, there's been so much fun stuff that we've covered this year. Like so much. You know, sometimes it's like, when I'm hanging with friends, like, I got to go. I got to watch Bravo. And people are like, hey, have you watched this show yet? Have you watched this show? I'm like, no, because all I do is watch Bravo for the podcast. But it's like, you know what though? But the truth is, it's so fun. I know a friend of mine was like, have you watched the leftovers? And I was like, yeah, it's called Bravo. Yeah. I'm like, sorry, I have to watch Secrets and Wives. Like, oh, I'm like, but it's so good. I love this show. And I will never forget when we were in Texas, crap by crap with doing our live show. And we had them the whole time. And we're talking about Secrets and Wives. And they're like, what the hell? Like, even the people who loved it so much that they came out and like, we got to meet everybody. Even they were like, oh, hell no. And I was like, this is why I love Watch What Crap is because even the dumbest shows that everybody in the world hates. We love more than anything. And we like a roll around in the crap. Yeah. I just, I wish we could save more of the shows that we love because we were always, like, we're always losing some of our favorite shows, Secrets and Wives, Game of Crowns, Gallery Girls. But sometimes it's better to just lose them. You know, it's better to love and lost than love and then get fucked over in the end because you found out there's some fake asshole. Well, I was very happy with these crapies this year. And I know that our listeners will probably disagree with us on various nominations. I'm sure there are people that we did not nominate. There are winners that should not have won. And we want to hear from all of you guys. Leave your comments. And who knows, maybe we'll do like a people's choice do over a crappy's event where we get input from the listeners. We'll see. We'll figure that out. People's Choice Crapies. People's Choice Crapies, which means that it'll be like. And the winner for Best Bravo Star is Mel Gibson. Wait, how's that possibly wasn't even in Bon Bravo this year? But that wasn't a man. That was an amazing crazy person breakdown. Yeah. So good. Never forget hashtag. Never forget. Justice. Justice. Guys, thank you so much for listening to the Crapies. We've had an amazing year and thanks so much for supporting us. This podcast is growing to a place. I don't think we ever thought it would. And we are so excited that it has. We love having you guys. We love each other and love being here. And get over to Patreon. Get your ringers and get your bonus ringers for those of you who have not subscribed, which are me and Ben. Yes. And see what those are all about. And thanks for everything. Thanks for your support. We will be back next week. On Tuesday and Thursday, just like normal to do our regular recaps. We'll catch up on Beverly Hills and all the Hanky drama that happened this week. And it will be a different year, you guys. We're going to be a Saturday. Different. Wow. So everyone, thank you for participating and listening to the 2015 Golden Crapie Awards. Good night, everyone. Good night. If you like Watch what Crap is, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery App or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Have you ever wondered who created that bottle of sriracha that's living in your fridge? Or why nearly every house in America has at least one game of monopoly. 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