Audible's best of 2024 picks are here. From memoirs and sci-fi to mysteries and thrillers, Audible's curated list in every category is the best way to hear 2024's best in audio entertainment. Like a stunning new full cast production of George Orwell's 1984. And first of all, Everett's brilliantly subversive James. Audible, there's more to imagine when you listen. I actually am really excited to hear George Orwell's 1984 again, because last time I read that was back in, I don't know, middle school or something like that. And the world has changed so much with technology and everything like that. I feel like now is the perfect time to revisit and listen to it on Audible. Especially when it's told by a full cast like that, like it's a full production, it's going to be like a radio play, you know? That's major. Go to Audible.com/crapins and discover all the years best, waiting for you. That's Audible.com/crapins. Hey, I'm Ryan Reynolds. Recently, I asked Mint Mobile's legal team if big wireless companies are allowed to raise prices due to inflation. They said yes. And then when I asked if raising prices technically violates those owners to your contracts, they said, "What the f*ck are you talking about? You insane Hollywood s*ck?" So to recap, we're cutting the price of Mint unlimited from $30 a month to just $15 a month. Give it a try at Mint Mobile.com/switch. $45 up from payment equivalent to $15 per month, new customers on first three month plan only, taxes and fees extra, speed slower above 40 gigabytes of details. Watch what Crapins would like to fake it's premium sponsors, Marvin J and Kristy Doherty. We love you. [Music] I just wanted to warn you guys that you're about to hear a lot of my smoker vapey cough. Sorry. Working on it. Have fun. Hello and welcome to the Watch what Crapins podcast. The podcast about all that crap we'd love to talk about on Bravo, y'all. I'm Ronnie Caron from Trash Talk TV. And as usual, I'm with the lovely, talented, thin, fully head of haired, new puzzle-owning Ben Mandelker of the B-side blog in the Banta Blinda. Hi, Ben. Hello, hello, hello. I am new puzzle-owning, but it's not a puzzle. It's a dice rolling board game. Oh, not a puzzle, yes. I'm about to go to Texas, so I think of games, how MIMA thinks the game. Puzzles, either puzzles or whatever card game she's into. Hearts? No, not hearts, that's easy. Anyway, sorry for calling you dumb, MIMA. I'm not a puzzle, not yet a board game. My MIMA isn't a nigma. Welcome to Watch what Crapins were both in weirdo means as usual. So this should be a five hour podcast full of joy. Yep, Christmas is coming. This goose is getting fat. I was on Amazon all day today shopping, so I'm ready to talk and get some anger out. You can find us at Watch what Crapins dot com. All of our links are there, so the following links just find them there, but go to patreon.com/dotwatchworkcrapins. That is how you get all of the extras, the bonus episodes, etc, the ringtones. Tonight we're doing our Christmas party Google Hangout for subscribers. Oh, yeah, which is going to be amazing. They're always so fun. I'm going to wear my, I'm going to wear my tipsy elves sweater. For real, I'm going to wear it on the hangout. Okay, I'll wear it too. If it's not too hot. You know, I'll sweat. I'm a sweaty fat man. So anyway, go there. You can get all our extras. Our subscriber bonus episodes have turned into a whole other show. Yeah, we die laughing and they're actually worth it. They're long and really good. If you like listening to two guys just talking about nothing, but you know, I mean, you're here. So anyway, go there, patreon.com/watchworkcrapins on Twitter. What happens and there you go. Sorry. Go ahead. I just totally talked over you. No, I was going to say that normally on the bonus episodes, we usually do like a few pieces of Robogossip that we aren't able to get to in the main show. And then from there, we go on some bizarre tangent. And since it's a bonus episode, we pretty much talk about whatever we want. So this week was pressure cookers. Last week, we did a big thing about golden girls and murder she wrote. It's fun. Star Wars is out, which I don't know, people care. I don't, but I'm going to watch it anyway, because I'm going to Texas where, you know, my brother-in-law cares very much. I'm like actually looking for Star Wars lamps for him right now. He's 45. Okay, get one in the shape of Darth Vader. His head. Well, they have one of the death, what is it called? The Death Star? Not the Death Star. What is it? The Death Star is the big circle. It's so cool. It's like a glat. It's all made out of glass. And then it just has the lights etched, but it's a hundred dollars. And I love my brother-in-law, but he also has two children and a wife. No. There's one that's there's a Star Wars lamp that's in the shape of R2D2. I just looked right now. I'm looking. I am looking for you. There's an R2D2 lamp. That's a perfect husband lamp, isn't it? Because R2D2 just kind of has to follow you around wherever you go, muttering something no one ever listens to anyway. It's like the perfect husband lamp. I'm totally getting that form for Father's Day. If I don't play for Christmas. Well, that's why we named Ken Tod as R2D2. Ken's R2D2. There's a Darth Vader lamp, just so you know, and a Yoda one. Ben, you're so good with your Amazon. It's just even we're so spoiled because it's the future now and we're on Amazon. Like I don't even have to leave my house to Christmas shop. It's all delivered to Texas for me. And it's still an event. It's like, oh shit, I have to Christmas shop. I just sit here in my underwear and smoke pot in Christmas. It's like, what's so hard? What are you complaining about? I'm like, this is hard. Okay, so we all talk about bullshit all day and it's not bonus day. So let's talk about, you know, focused bullshit. Like Bravo. Yeah, focused bullshit. That is what Bravo is. Focused bullshit. It is focused bullshit. You know, Bravo is really taught me to be nicer in real life and take my hatred out on people that deserve it. The ones on TV. Yay. Although I did go to a Christmas party, birthday party thing last night and my friends were like, please stop talking like that because I was either doing my terrible Melbourne accent that doesn't even sound like one of the ladies at all. Or I was doing Lisa Vanderpump because, you know, it's it happens to me too. It definitely happens to me. And one of my friends pointed out that my dog only listens when I talk in Vanderpump voice, which is so funny. That's how I talk to him. Well, that's good. Do not eat wood chin styling. And he'll stop. Like, why does he only listen to you in that voice? So good. Well, Brad. Go well, Brad. Well, he's not actually he's a chihuahua Pitbull. So that's some bad breeding. That's like the worst breeding you can get. I was like, Oh, take him. Yeah, it's twins. It's like, uh, it's like Shaquille O'Neal and his like miniature wife. That's what it is. It's like Shaquille O'Neal and that little guy who plays an elf in every movie. Yeah, Vern Troyer. Yeah. Sorry, I didn't make you the good acting elf you know, he's my mouth. Little person. So there, there is some bravo stuff to talk about before we get into the fun stuff, before we get into crappins, we're gonna talk about crappins mailbag. Well, we're gonna open the crappins mailbag. We'll do a recap of Beverly Hills and Cheshire and work out. First, I want to say that on Tuesday, we were like, well, we're going to talk about this and that whatever. But we all said, we said we're going to talk about Top Chef. And then we just forgot because we wound up speaking about, um, uh, real houses of Atlanta and Vanderpump rules for so long. So apologies if you're looking for the Top Chef recap, but there really wasn't that much to recap anyway, except that Giselle, the woman who gave us attitude when we were there, she continues to flounder in hilarious ways. She really does. That's, that's a massive insecurity that I'm loving to watch. Yeah, absolutely. Now, the other thing though, that I wanted to talk about, um, at the top of the show here was we talked about, was it on the bonus episode or was on the main episode? I don't remember, but we talked about, I think it was on the bonus episode. We talked about Lala and James on Watch What Happens Live and, and we were talking about that they, they said that Jack said herpes, but apparently the real headline of their appearance, which we didn't understand at the time because we were kind of reading the stories on the fly during the episode because we're real professional, we like to not prepare. Um, but the real story was that when James and Lala were on Watch What Happens Live on Monday night, they kept on cursing and it pissed off and Andy was furious and apparently everyone watching was mortified and people like Stasi and Jacks were like, I, I, I refused to be associated with these idiots. Um, and that just made me laugh. It made me laugh that Andy Cohen was getting annoyed. It made me laugh that the people from Vanderpump Rules were acting as if they're above this behavior. I'm like, everyone has to chill out, especially Andy Cohen. And here's why. Here's why. Isn't that his segment? Isn't, doesn't he have a segment called Here's Why? I don't know. I haven't watched that in a long time. I didn't even watch the Gloria Steinem one, which basically proved everything I've ever said. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you, Gloria. I only got that in a headline too, but I was like, see Gloria agrees with me. I know that bitch. Bravo's bad for women. No. So anyway, what happened was that James and Lala kept on cursing. And at one point there's a clip of it where Andy Cohen says to Lala, like he's like, you got to stop. Seriously? I've told you like, uh, like, like eight times already, you have to stop. He was like annoyed. He was scolding them. He's like, I'm your boss and you're on TV. You have to stop. And everyone is acting all outraged, but here's my view. And I wrote this on Facebook in response to one of the people who, who, who posted this on our page. I said, you know what? Vanderpump rules as a show, which encourages outrageous behavior from its cast members. And watch what happens live is a show that basks in that outrageous behavior. I mean, that's what they do. They go and they watch like, Oh my God, that's all Jack all the week. They're basking it. And then the stars come on and they act outrageous because they've basically been conditioned to act this way. And then Andy Cohen acts shocked and annoyed and mad at them. Come on, give me a break. Yes. The thing is, Andy Cohen doesn't understand about the youth because he's dealt with, you know, middle to middle age to above women. Now when you're young and you're 22 or whatever, this is their stepping stone. They really think that they're going to be, I don't know, Rihanna or something soon. So they look at this as like their time in the dinner theater, if you will. And then they're going to graduate. The older people are like, this is my last chance to sell nail polish. You know, I'm going to get people liking me on Instagram. That's all I need. Like you can pay these bitches literally nothing because now they're switching Jersey over to their pay their new pay scale is you're only getting paid if you're actually in scenes like that we use. So if you shoot a scene, you don't get paid. If they use it in the show, you get paid. I mean, they're getting so bad over there because they've realized how thirsty these bitches are. They're like, we'll do it for a double tap on Insta. Yeah, by the way, I think that's bullshit. If you should have seen it, it doesn't make it to air that you still that you don't get paid for it. I think that's bullshit. Well, this is more this is more headline reading. I didn't read the whole thing. It's posted on our Facebook, but I just thought that was hilarious. Yeah. Well, I just think that Andy Cohen, I understand why he was annoyed. But like, sorry, dude, you created these monsters. So you have to deal with it. But and they're disrespectful idiots. And that's the point. That's why we love them. But you know, he's just people kissing his butt and they're like, we don't care. We're fucking waiters. Okay. Yeah. Like kick us off TV. We'll at least get on E. You know, take a good look. Andy Cohen is the last time you'll see this honey. You won't get this honey and watch what happens live anymore. Girl. Andy Cohen, you're a basic batch. Right. Seriously. Speaking of watch what happens, there's also this clip from today. Do you remember a few weeks ago, Nini Leaks was on the view and she got mad at all the views. She's the I don't I never actually saw him. We talked about it here. We played it. I think you were out of town that week. Oh, yeah. That was the week you were gone. But it was so good. Because really, if you guys haven't seen this clip, no one was being mean to Nini. Nini was just acting like Nini. What was and joy was like you're an idiot. I mean, she didn't say that. But she joy was saying. Oh, so you're she was saying something about divorce. Like, well, haven't you been divorced or something? Like, why are you such a weird question? Yeah, she made some stupid joy comment. But it wasn't even mean. And she said, didn't you get a divorce? Why did you take your husband back? She's like, well, I had to teach him a lesson, honey. And she's like, what lesson? She said not to cross me. And she's like, okay, you know, joy had joy was not having her at all. And then he shows all these pictures of her new home that's in like life and style or whatever shit magazine that's in. And they're like, congratulations on your magazine spread. And then joy goes, why is there no furniture in your house? Because it's just empty rooms. And Nini's like, girl, I need privacy. Okay, I'm a celebrity. And I need privacy. She's like, your furniture needs privacy, but your house doesn't. She's like, well, we hid the address, girl. Like, she was trying to be a diva and joy is the ultimate. Okay, she doesn't give a fuck, apparently. It was brilliant. It was amazing to watch. And then Nini leaves the view and she's like, mean girls, hashtag mean girls, hashtag bullied. Shut up, Nini says the ultimate mean girl. Come on now. Jesus, how many people have moose prints on their back? Shut up, Nini. You know that if the roles were reversed or if it was still Atlanta, you know, in her confession, she'd be like, where's the furniture? You know, she should be the first one to say that should be the first one to throw shade. So shut up, Nini. So along those lines, so Nini went out, she made a big, like, to do that the host of the viewer, mean girls. So Whoopi Goldberg was on Watch What Happens last night, responding to this Nini thing. And we have a clip. Watch What Happens. We haven't heard it, so we're gonna, we're gonna listen to it right now. Ready? Yeah. Why do you think Nini had such a bad time on the view? You think the other ladies were acting like mean girls? Yeah, Nini leaks was ragging about her time on the view. Did you hear about that? No, you didn't know. Did you, but did you know when she left that day that she was, she was feeling sad? You know what? I didn't. You know, come on. Really, Nini? Yeah, she was. I think, you know, I don't know what I did. Somebody say something that she didn't like, or she felt like Raven was giving her the stink guy and she enjoys. She was not feeling joy. Well, you know, then come back another day and try again. That was kind of a lame clip. Sorry, everyone. As any clip from Watch What Happens usually is. There was no story there. He's like, oh, yeah, she's not feeling it. Hey, why don't you tell her what happened? I love that Whoopi Goldberg was there, and then you know, she got five zillion tweets about it. Yeah, and was tagged and everything. And she's like, what? Listen, Whoopi Goldberg is, she has an established career. She's a funny lady. She has an Oscar, all this shit. Like, you think that like, she even cares when Nini leaks things, you know, down to all of that Whoopi Goldberg is a a plus best prescription in life stoner. Okay. That whole set probably smells like weed, which I approve of, by the way, she doesn't care. One good thing about being a stoner every day is that you don't have terrible memories because they're like literally erased. Yeah, I love, I love Whoopi. And I think that Nini is ridiculous. And she should know her place. Okay, you, you were on a reality show, and then you've been, you've gotten some like a few roles on Broadway, basically, because people know who you are. But like, and that's good, you've come up, but like still just slow your role. Okay, you should be so happy you were on the view. She has really come up. I mean, she's doing her second Broadway show granted at Chicago. I mean, I think the person who sells the like train tickets, you know, on 40 second Grand Central Station has been Mama Morton in Chicago. But still, you're doing it. You know, that's good. It's her second show. She's done this. She's done so many things. But God, she's so unbearable. People should be begging to work with her because she's the most pop. I mean, she was one of the most popular and highest paid until she turned into an asshole. Yeah, I mean, people still do love her. That's for sure. But she has to just get it together. I mean, you're not Meryl Streep. All right, you're not, you're not even, you're not even, you're not even Meryl Streep. I mean, Meryl Streep, I mean, Meryl Streep so nice. Well, no, but what I'm saying is, you know, she doesn't have enough, you know, behind her to act like the diva that she is like a Meryl Streep could be a huge diva, but she's not. But the point is, you know, you know, Nicole Kidman, I don't know, I've actually heard that she's really nice too. And even though people think she's a diva, I don't know, named some Madonna. She's a diva. She's a diva in a half, three times, three times the diva. She deserves it though, you know, like once, twice, three times the diva, but you know why? Because she can sell our stadiums. Yeah, but Nini comes from that fake it till you make it place. And then she made it. Like, she faked it. She make it. But now she's going to break it. Because she's just, you can stop faking it now. You made it, you know, now be nice. And like, people will help you make it more. You dodo. Yeah, you don't want to piss off the girls of the V.O.K. There is like legitimate racism against nurses now. I never even knew about it. People are like, screw you nurses. Like, where did this come from? The view. People have chosen sides. Don't mess with anybody over there. All right. I don't remember. I don't want to relive that chapter. I know I'm just starting to shake because it's Christmas. I'm like, let's get yelled at. It's Christmas. Yeah. Krampus, get over here. So, um, so that's that. So, you know what? No time. It is Ronny. I'm smoking up now. I talked about whoopi being a pothead. And I was like, oh, I have a new vape pain. So, I apologize. Now, if you hear me chomping down on last night's Little Caesar pizza. Let's see. Which one should we start with? Why don't we start since we're talking about Atlanta-ish stuff? Laurie. Hey, Laurie, girl. She asks Laurie Anne. We love Laurie. Love you, girl. And hopefully we'll be seeing her tonight at the hangout. Um, she wants to know your favorite Kim Kim's Olsiac Kim Fields or Kim Richards. And then Marvin Jay, our super sponsor of Marvin Jay, he asks, let's you forget Kim G Kim V and Kim Burley. Um, well, Kim Burley is like a whatever. So, I'm gonna, I'm gonna knock Kim Kimberly out of the running. But if we had to go Kim's Olsiac Kim Fields, Kim Richards, Kim G or Kim V. You know what's missing is Kim D. Oh, Kim D. Who's Kim V, by the way, do we have a Kim V? Kim V. I'm trying to think, you know, after all of this, what is this? Episode 265 or something? Six. It's somewhere up there. That's like, what, 900 hours or something that we've done this? I would lose in Bravo trivia. That's really fucking sad. Like, I don't even remember people. I'm like, who's that? When they have a best of house, what, the best house, one's ever, whatever. I'm like, who was that? Oh, you know, Kim V, I think, is on newly was the first year. Oh, we don't have to count her. She doesn't count. She doesn't. Well, we'll replace her with Kim D Kim D. Piela. Okay. So favorite Kim's Olsiac Kim Fields, Kim Richards, Kim Granitell or Kim D. Piela. Okay. Um, you want me to go first or you want to go first? I want you to go first. Richards, Olsiac, uh, D to D just because I have faith that she's going to have a nerve nervous breakdown at some point. And then I do not like that one that's, uh, Kim D. No, I like Kim D. She's the one with the store, right? Yeah. She's like Sally Kellerman, living in the real housewives of New Jersey with posh. I love her. Yeah, because I like Sally Kellerman. Um, and also I was hoping that Sally Kellerman would be a total cut fitness and she wasn't. So I'm like taking it out on Kim D. I love the running theme of Sally Kellerman that pops up like once a month on this podcast, you know, certain things that have nothing nothing to do with Bravo, but they reappear Sally Kellerman, soap dish, big business and Jurassic Park. Your youth stays in your mind. What can I tell you? I met Sally Kellerman and I'll never forget it. I could meet Obama and I'd be like, who cares? Do you know Sally Kellerman? Um, okay. Yeah, those are my cold brew in my mouth. Not when I have cold brew in my mouth. This caused double the price of hot brew, damn it, cold brew, cold brew. Uh, Starbucks, you know, you're doing it wrong. Right. I know. Stupid. Okay. Who's your, who's your favorite Kim's? Okay. Um, I think, I think I have to say my favorite would have to be Kim D. I mean, I'm sorry. She's just too hilarious. She looks like a character from The Simpsons. She has hair fangs. She has a boutique called posh and then there's posh too. And she has a fashion show where she hires locals from Franklin Lakes and they go and everyone fights during them to meet and get drunk and shit and khakis. Whatever they're wearing in those fashion shows. She's like, here's my fashion show. Here's a nice corduroy skirt. I'm like, Oh jeez lady. I know. Uh, so I have to, I think, I think Kim D gets the edge because when I think about her, I get the warmest feeling in my heart. Then oddly enough, I would actually say Kim G because even though you put her last, Kim G was one of the thirstiest friends of that we've ever seen, but can anything top her trying to pole dance in Jersey or her chasing after Danielle stop and throwing a napkin at her? I don't think so. Kim G was batshit crazy out of her mind. And, uh, I don't know. I think there's something very special about her. And then from there, um, now it actually gets harder. I think that Kim Zolciak is like, uh, normally I would say Kim Zolciak is Kim Zolciak. I mean, this woman for so many years was one of the major forces of Real Housewives of Atlanta. But I think that like her spinoff has, has really lowered like her, her value in my eyes because I don't know, I don't feel like I care about her. So she's probably in last place for me. I guess I'll do Kim Richards than Kim Fields. Although Kim Fields, I'm really enjoying. I cannot believe you put Kim Zolciak, so maybe it's because, uh, I'm not saying who's the best Kim. It's who's my favorite. And right now Kim Zolciak's at the bottom. I just, I mean, Kim, uh, Zolciak was the first person to fake cancer. She was the first person to have. Does she have a weave line? But it's like she has like tape on her. But you know, but the thing is that, you know, if you were to look at the best Housewives of all time, if I looked at season one and two or maybe even three of Atlanta, I would say Nini. But now I can't like, I have to look at the whole body of work. And for Kim Zolciak that applies, too, I have to look at Don't Be Tardy. And I think that show is like, she's still ridiculous, but it's like not, not the same novelty with Kim. It just makes me be like, eh, with her. Yeah, it's too much maybe. I'm, I like when people yell at her. I don't like when she's the queen bee of everything. I like when, when a hoe is struggling. Okay. Yeah. But I'll always respect her because if that's a very, you want to talk about a difficult board game to win. The whole ladder shoots, shoots, shoots in the map of your hoo-ha and lattice. Yeah. Hody land. That is difficult to win. And Kim has won. I mean, she went from being some plastic wigged, you know, like weirdo, looking crazy white trash hoe with some crinkly old married lover. I'm gross. She, she built a, she built a, she puts the hoe in the hotel in Monopoly. Okay. She built one on boardwalk. She built a hoe, tell, and boardwalk. She wins. Like she wins. She is the little gold car, you know, but it goes back to like what I always used to say about Bethany, which is, you know, I used to love, Bethany used to be one of my favorites of all time. Then she started, then with her spin-offs and her talk show, it was too much. You know, Bethany is best when she's diluted down in the context of an ensemble. Okay. And when she had her own show, it was like too much. I just really could not stand her anymore. Then she came back to Real Housewives. And I started to love her again because it's, she plays off other people. And she's commenting and it just, it works so much better. So Kim Zolciak needs to get back on Real Housewives. And then we can have a fun time. Well, she's too snotty now. Like she wouldn't even shoot the last scenes. And, you know, when the husband's waiting outside in the car and he's like, come on, babe. He's like your mafia driver or whatever. I don't want to watch that. Yeah. What you said about Bethany is so true because I mean, I love, I mostly love her, usually hate her too. I don't know. I'm messing up my sentences. You know why? But on her show, when I watched that, she was in the bathroom sobbing because Jason had the nerve to throw her a surprise party. And she like had a nervous breakdown. And I couldn't even enjoy that as amazing as that is because there was no one outside going, is she crying? What's she doing? Why is she crying? I'm so stupid. Sorry. You have to stop crying. But you know, it's, it's like you, it's like you reveal too much of the man behind the whatever. It's like the whatever the analogy is the metaphor about Wizard of Oz. It's like, we see too much. Like just let me see in the context, not everyone can support a spinoff. All right. Like we all remember the the tortellies. Okay, it didn't work. Just sick with cheers. How did that not work? By the way, the main Mrs. Tortelli. What was her name? That she's married to Casey Casey Casey. Oh, Jean Casey. Oh, Jean Casey. And then you had wasn't Dan Hadaya. She was amazing. Jean Casey. How did she not become a trillionaire? Well, I guess she is. I mean, Casey Casey's wife, but I mean on her own, you know, she was so funny. Okay. So mail back. What else? What else is in here? The other other question that we have is also from Laurie. And she says, what has Richard Blaze have on all what? Let me correct the grammar on this, Laurie. So it doesn't sound strange on the podcast. What does Richard Blaze have on folks that causes him to show up on every damn cooking show on the planet? He has all their hair products. That's what I'm going to say. He's stolen them all. And he's made his way made his not his wig, his hair, into something out of whoville. And he won't return the like the Matrix, like Revlon's, whatever. He's not going to return it to you until you put him on a show. I would have to disagree there because I used to have hair that I cared about. And the only thing that will hold it up like that is like Walmart gel. It's only the cheap shit that's still made out of like cancer clay that still works on your hair. The other things don't work. So he wouldn't. It's not hair product. Honestly, it's just an agent. It's a good agent. He must have been really nice to like Tom or Padma, Padma or one of those people because I think it's an agent. That's why obviously those casting people don't give a fuck. They're like, can you make a grilled cheese? No. Okay. Come on, chopped. What? You know what? He obviously has a very good agent and he probably has a good marketing person and he has positioned himself. But yeah, he is on everything. And you know, I've been very up and down with Richard Blaze. His first season that he was on, I actually did not like him at all. And I was glad that he lost. And then the season that he won, I actually was really rooting for him and I was really happy that he won. And now I'm just finding him to be, I don't know, he's too young to be a judge. And what I don't even mean young by years, I mean young in terms of like, of like being judge worthy, he's like, you know, too fresh out of high school and then coming back and saying what's wrong with everyone in high school. Like it's just too hard trying too hard. I don't like it. I've never loved him, but I don't have a whole lot of hate for him. I feel like his first season, he got screwed over. And then who won his first season? Do you remember? I think the first season was Stephanie who has now like one of the most acclaimed restaurants in Chicago. It's like no, he wasn't on that season because I think I didn't want to look it up. Richard blaze. I'm trying to, but I'm still on this effing grill Roomba thing that you showed me. Oh my God. I'm trying to Christmas shop today. And we were talking earlier about it. And he was telling me this silly gift that his dad got once, which is a Roomba. He lost the Stephanie Isard by the way. He did. He did lose to Stephanie. How weird and why do I hate him? I don't even think I watch that. You know what? I think the other thing is with with Richard blaze is that he you know, he he does always have this very specific look that he always seems to be going for. And sometimes you don't always want that in a judge. You know, you don't sometimes you feel well, when a judge seems to put a lot of attention on a specific look, it almost seems like the judge is more out for their own to boost their own profile. And so sometimes it actually takes away his credibility, hungry, dainey kind of fame, horror kind of a guy. It takes away and takes away some credibility because you think is he saying is he saying this is what he really thinks or he just wants to say something slightly outrageous or slightly nasty. No, that just wants to be famous. I mean, and a lot of them do. I mean, there's no crime in it, but it's just annoying. Yeah, especially with around such ass kissers. He's like the ass kisser, but then he gets a chance to be the dick. And it's like, eh, I prefer you when you were a needy ass kisser. Go back to that. Exactly. You can't do both. You can't have respect and be a needy ass kisser who needs my approval, you know, exactly. I mean, I mean, I don't really hate him. I just find him to be some of them. Here's why I hate him. Okay, let's just be honest. I'm going to hate him. Here's why, you guys, I can never get behind somebody with a faux hawk, fuck you top chef and your top chef, faux Hawks, never going to work for me. I'm so mad that it's still here. And you know what, I'm looking at his Wikipedia. That's why I'm so angry. Still the fucking faux hawk. You can change. He's moved away from the faux hawk in IRL. You know, he pulls that shit out on the food network so people can recognize him easily. He's like, Oh, get my faux hawk in my white rimmed glasses. Shut up, Richard, please. Come your hair. Yeah, fucking, you know, I have to say I do, I do find that like chef styling can be really annoying. And I like in terms of like tattoos and how they dress or like, it's always the same shit, which I guess, I mean, I know that's what fashion is, you know, I love it. I love a dark chef with a ton of tattoos and you can smell the cigarettes from your couch. I just hate the whole attitude. I love it. I've been in the trenches. Like, I'm like, I know, I know what you do is like significantly harder than what I do. I know you will go through much harder, harder training and I go through this and that. But I don't know, for some reason, it really irks me. It really like, I don't like, I don't like when people have attitudes that like, there's, let me back up, there's some, there's some sort of like superiority complex that comes with being a chef, I feel like. And I may be reading into it. Maybe I'm actually just projecting my own inferiority complex. I am totally open to that. But sometimes I just like, the tattoos are like the pigs and the tattoos of the forks and knives and naming the children after a Madeline cookie. I mean, I'm just done, done with it. I like it because I feel like it's your angry maid who, I don't know, like got a tattoo with a vacuum cleaner on it. And she's acting all badass. She did all three bathrooms in an hour, you know, listen, if she comes over to my place, she has been in the trenches. I get cracked up with, with performers and stuff like that, who get a big attitude to because at the end of the day, we're clowns and we're performing for people with actuals like money and real jobs and real brains. So in the old days, well, the real, the king days, you know, we were gestures and if they didn't like us, they just raped us and murdered us. I watched that thing on Showtime. What was it? Henry the eighth. I was like, Oh my God, that would be me a beheaded, like school, effed, like clown. That would be me. Thanks a lot, Henry the eighth jerks. Well, I guess if I'm wondering what I would get tattooed on my body, if I were a chef, it'd probably be like a pressure cooker. I'm just have a big old Instapot on my back. I have those crinkle cut fries from the market pantry brand from Target, like just a bag of them. I'll get that on me. I didn't get crinkle fry. I think that's a good tattoo, actually. Yeah, I like it because it could almost you should put it on your forehead. So people think it's a Harry Potter scar, but you're like, no, it's just a crinkle fry. Well, the way that fucking crinkle in my foreheads working these days, it'll turn into a crinkle fry. I'm getting like a huge crinkle there because, you know, age, but I mean, it's a baguette. It looks like its own mouth when I move my head. It's like it's talking to you. Okay, what was that that we just talked about? I'm trying to label this week goes for a time coding this shit was it? Oh, Richard Blaze is stupid. You only have to time code the the mail bag, the mail bag. You don't have to time code like the sub the sub parts of the mail bag. But I I'm not kidding. When I say the second I hang up, I forget everything we talked about. Sometimes people will quote us and I'm like, what? When was that? That sounds so fun. I know. By the way, I love how we like, we invariably turn our podcast into also like a production meeting. Listen, transparency people, transparency is totally behind the scenes. They know we're just sitting around in our underwear, getting high, talking on the phone, get it. They'll survive it. Listen, people like this podcast are listening to really long shows. They're probably chefs. Actually, they're probably working 14 hours days or some shit and just need somebody to talk so they don't kill themselves. I mean, that's why I listen to talk radio and the podcast and stuff. So I think that's it. We have one more question. We can it says if I was trying to get the question, I'm saying it myself, because really, no, I know, I know, I know, I know, but I'm just gonna get we'll do this one quickly. Catherine says asks, is the recent reports that Yolanda is broke? The reasons she could only afford one one horse for poor Gigi? Oh, yes. But that was a long time ago. What the one horse? So one horse. That was when she was still on allowance at David's house. And now according to headlines from radar online, which are usually completely not what the story is at all. He wants that money back. He's like, where's that money for all your treatments? He's sending her a bill. What do you think that she got Bella? So if she gets a horse for Gigi, she gets Bella. A shovel to clean up the horse shit. What else? And he unwarsed some boots to walk around in it. She's like, who's that little girl over there? Other one, go, go find her and ask her to help you clean up poo poo. I don't have all day. Gigi is coming downstairs soon. Other one, clean up poo poo. I will do anything to this horse's face to get my brain back. It's like, uh, that sounds like a great cure. Yolanda. The things you'll, we'll get to that. But the things that Yolanda says that are going to cure her, she's like, I repap my teeth to make me health. I'm like, what? You ripped out your teeth? Do you feel better? No, stupid. Speaking of which, by the way, oh, we mentioned this earlier. Then we mentioned this on Tuesday. Revenge of Yolanda that both of our crowns are broken. Yes, we talked about that. All right. You got yours fixed. So it's fun to you. I'm still broken. My mind's getting fixed tomorrow. I got a gummy. I really, uh, my friend, Miss Red from Trash Talk TV sent me jelly tots. I was so excited. Those things are delicious. It made me so happy, but I couldn't stop like eating them all. But I found one bag behind my ghetto ass, made up, screwed together kitchen counter that I made myself. And so thankfully food falls behind there. And so I was afraid of getting rats. So I moved it and there was a jelly taught. Anyway, it got stuck in my broken crown in the back. And I woke up this morning with my head pounding. And I was like, what is this? This is the sweetest pain I've ever felt. I still have a little bit of jelly taught back there, darling. Bad news, mom. Bad news, mom. We brought it to you overnight. Delicious. Well, uh, our listener, our faithful listener, Mike, he, he sent me three boxes of chocolates because I had a few episodes to go out. I was like, wasn't anyone sent me chocolate? So he sent me chocolate. I was so good. And I have definitely put on the pounds. Do I not sound angry enough in this podcast that you have to try and make me angry? You're like, Oh, Ronnie, you sound so well adjusted today. God damn it. No, he said no, I don't need any more chocolate. It was, it was, it was delicious, but no more, no more, no more chocolate for Ben. So now let's talk about the real shows because this shit was, oh, yeah, I'll back close the up sound. 10 o'clock, 11 o'clock, 10 again. Time is going backwards. I still have to make the closing music. Okay, I like it. Why can't you close it the same way? That's how church starts and that's how church closes. I just feel like it sounds like it just sounds like the bag is opening again. It doesn't, it doesn't have the sound of like conclusion to it. Because there's so much promise. There's so much promise in it. When that Brontosaurus wails, I feel like, yes, like a brave new world is about to happen. What were we talking about? I'm putting it on our notes. What was it? We were talking about chocolates and Richard Blaze and Bella. Oh, Bella. Yolanda and the horse. Yolanda's horse. Yolanda's horse allowance. Okay. So now this is minute 36. Oh my goodness. Are you for real? Yeah. Why not? Welcome to minute 36. Well, we're going to start discussing Bravo shows. We have a doozy this week. What do you want to talk about Ben first? We've got three shows. We've got Real Housewives of Cheshire. We've got, what's the other one Ben? Oh, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and Workout. You know, it's hard for me to answer that because the truth is... I was still looking forward to playing with the pony. I know. That's what I want to do. Play with the pony. So let's watch. Let's talk about Beverly Hills. Poor Eileen. I just came to play with the pony. I was still looking forward to playing with the pony. Oh, thanks for this giant hat that my husband can ignore me in a life. Jesus, do you have to put a potted plant on Eileen's head? I was like, jeez, woman's trying to have a romantic day out with her husband. He's not on online poker for one time this week. Let's talk about Beverly Hills. Let's do it. Okay, so I have to open this with my own plug. Go to trash talk TV and read my recaps if you're a reader because, you know, reading is kind of dead because we watch so much TV. Like getting through a book can be hard. I get it people, but I love books and I love reading. And I write recaps like I'm writing a fucking book. It is almost 7,000 words. It's way too long. It's ridiculous. But I go deep. So go over there if you're a good reader because I'm cracking myself up and then reading all the comments after. I love going so deep with this stupid fucking show. All of these stupid fucking shows. You've saved my live shows. It's all about the comments. I mean, I feel like that's what we... That's like one of the main reasons why we do this shit. I mean, that's why I spent an hour making a Photoshop Star Ser Wars poster for the last episode. I'm like, I've got shit to do today, but I'm like, I'm making this. I'm making this because I want people to comment on it. You know, that's sort of what we... We're like the housewives themselves and we just want attention. Well, I make fun of Yolanda all the time. Like everybody thinks she's doing this for David's attention. She's doing it for the double, you know, double taps on the insta. And I was saying it all judgmentally, but like, yeah, we totally get it. Yeah. Yeah, we get it. We get it. Okay. So anyway, the reason I was reminded of my own long-ass recap is because that's my note. So you're going to have to be very careful and guide this one because... Oh, you want me to steer the ship. Do you have a lot of notes? I mean, I have a nice normal amount of notes, I feel like. So yeah, I am very happy to steer the ship. Okay, do it. I'm steering the ship. Everyone gets on board. So the episode opens up with Kyle and Lisa in Florence and they're shopping and they're extolling the virtues of shopping abroad because Kyle's like, this way, if anyone asks where'd you get it, you can say you can't get it. It was in Europe, or you can go to Kyle by Eileen too. But that's beside the point. Kyle's fashion is so bad. I love that she finds her exact same bad fashion in Italy. Did you notice that she walked into a store that sold Kyle clothes? Everything was like a flowy patterny. I mean, what did they just find the dress bar online in Italy? Yeah, I think so. It just goes to show that you can find bad taste, even in Europe. Of course, I love Kyle's snotiness. It's like, I'll just tell people they can't find this outfit because I got it in Italy. Like, congratulations, your husband goes to work every day. You still dress like a cow. Figure out your own size, Kyle. Stop bragging about things that you don't have. I mean, she has things, but she doesn't possess the things. That's why she brags. In high school, there was this girl, Maya Stadinsky, really sweet girl. I liked Maya so much. But one time, I will never forget this. It was right before class started, and Jen Chiavetti came in, and she looked at, Maya was wearing something, like some jeans, whatever. She's like, oh my god, those jeans are so nice. Where did you get them? She goes, Paris. Shut up, Maya. That was like, and for some reason, I feel like everyone heard it. And I was like, Maya. And she wasn't even insufferable like that. But the way she said it right then, it's like, oh, Maya just lost like 30 points. This whole Lisa and Kyle thing is cracking me up because Lisa Vanderpump, I think, was so confused. She seems so confused that there was even a problem with Kyle when she had to stick Brandy on Kyle. She was like, yeah, all right, you do it, darling, because I'm not even sure what to say, you know. So I think she's so excited in a way to have Kyle as her friend again, she seems to really like her. But Kyle has a mix of, I hate you. I'm terrified of you. Still hate you. Can't wait until you die. She has that kind of attitude towards Lisa. And it makes her try so hard to make Lisa like her in ways that Lisa doesn't care about. It's like, oh, you got a matching floppy hat in your own color way to show your independence, Kyle. Yeah. Well, I think that Kyle has finally figured out after like several seasons of this show to just buddy up with Lisa and she'll be fine. Don't try to like go against her. Don't try to be angry. Just just go with the flow and Lisa will accept you and then you will be fine. And she's she's doing a good job of that so far. And also she's learned Kyle is a pro. You know, we give Kyle a lot of shit on the show, but she's a pro housewife. That girl knows what she's doing. And she always has, but she's really massaged her gift. I mean, the way that she's set off so many chains of events by not saying a word is hilarious. Yeah, we'll get to it later. But she totally put Taylor on the war path and then sat there trying not to smile. But those veins on her temple, the Botox veins on her temple that, you know, I don't know, they give away the fact that your face is shot up with a deadly disease because you have Hulk veins on your temple anyway. So those started pulsing while she was trying not to smile and she's like looking anywhere that she can with her eyes looking two different directions because she's so like numbed up there. I was just dying. It was like googly eyed robot Kyle trying not to crack up that she just started this whole war and didn't even have to do anything. She's a Richard sister. And if those Richard's women know anything, it's how to manipulate a situation. I mean, that's what their mom was best at. So bravo to Kyle, you've you've come into your own good for you. But she's a little transparent, but I'm with you. And you know what you're working on it. And I love someone who can improve Kyle. You go girl. Good for you, Kyle. So then over over in Los Angeles and Beverly Hills, Lisa Rina is getting her nails done with her daughters. And and it's just one of these like slice of life scenes where she's like, you have a curfew missy. You have a curfew. It's at 11 10. Those 11 30. No, it's 11 10. That's just came back at 11 30. Okay. Life is one big fat negotiation. It's just one big negotiation. Harry Hamlin, let's negotiate. You do not negotiate with teenagers. I mean, are you fucking crazy? That's like negotiating with terrorists. You put those teenagers in their place, turn off their fucking T mobile bill. Don't listen. I'm telling you, these teenagers are difficult. It's like running a prison. I love Lisa. I love it. She's so like fake strong because she's like, I, I do not want to race spoiled little brands who none of that and then her kids are like, I'm coming home at 11 10 in my beamer. Okay. I don't want to have to drive drunk over the speed limit because I'll get a ticket and then you'll never shut up. She's like, okay, honey. Listen, we know that they don't have a, I don't think they have a beamer. You know that girl drives a 1997 Toyota Corolla because she's where she's working at a deli. All right. Oh, is that the one who's making toast? I think it's the brunette one that's making toast. One of them is one of them's at the deli and one of them's at the butcher probably the brunette one gets the bored face of someone who makes toast on the weekends. She her face is her jaw just kind of drops open while she listens to Lisa talk like flies are going to go in there. Girl, you put a close at mouth and she's so beautiful. But Lisa, Lisa Rinna loves getting a laugh at her own kids. And I'm sure she's not telling her to close her mouth on purpose so that she can be laughing about it when they all watch it together. Mm hmm. Yeah. I could have told you that I didn't. It's so funny. Look at your mouth. It's open. Rewind it, Harry. She bounced it. I also liked it when she laughs. She basically turns into one of those inflatable things that like when you punch it, it like comes back up again because she just she's just basically like a like a bobbing buoy or something in a chair. I love that. Mm hmm. So anyway, I think I'm strangle you. It's like he laughs and pops back up. But once in a while a hand comes at and just like throws a glass in your face and then tries to murder you in TV. Don't you dare punch me in the face one more time. Don't you dare. Every time every time it comes up, it has a big smile and then one time it like turns around on the back of it. It's like, oh no, it has a crazy devil face. Don't you dare. Don't you dare. On every 11th punch, it sprays acid in your face. Like, whoa, whoa, punching bag. Whoa. Punching bag. You're a punching bag. It's like, it's an addict. You're punching. You're punching addict. It's dangerous. Flat out dangerous. There's only one thing you can say to piss off the punching bag. You can punch it and punch it and punch it. But if you deny being an addict, she's like, whoa. The punching bag comes back with a little fist. You're like, wait, not the punching bag. It's a punch, puncher. I like destroys you. It's like, push your lock. So anyway, so then we go to Eileen's house where-- Poor thing. Ross clock on the wall. I mean, these these cameramen are cop fitnesses. They get a close up of the Ross dress for less clock on the wall. We recognize it. Okay. And what was the next thing? It was like sad things, like a really sad old chandelier, but it wasn't like a diamond chandelier. It's like, one of those, I don't know, things you buy in the Southwest store. It's like, is it marble? Is it stone? Or is it food plaster? And then cut to her husband sitting on the couch with his sunglasses inside. He's either drunk or playing online poker. Poor Eileen. I just wanted to hug Eileen. I know. Well, I really empathize with her when she said that she was having a coffee high. I was like, that's me. She's speaking my language. And I say the same thing to her that I say to you. Find a real drug, all right? And she was all drugs. She was also going on about the sort of thing that I would go on, which is, though she had hid the iPad from her son and now she didn't know where it was. And she was trying to ask Vince about it. And he's like, especially like me and my boyfriend. It's like, honey, I'm about to get a flesh. Shut up. But dance. I just want to shut up, bitch. I'm like, okay, classy. It's like Don, Don sitting there on the couch. I know. What are you doing? What's our work? Are you doing? What does Vince do? Do we know what Vince does? He plays poker and writes terrible screenplays. Oh, that's right. Oh, my God. The screenplay. I just forgot. I just remember that. I shouldn't be so mean about him. He actually seems very nice. He's like living the life, by the way. You know, I want, I want to go to his house in Malibu and then make fun of their food walls and then have them steal all my money in poker. I'm down. Yeah, me too. I'll be nicer in person, Vince. Give me a call. So this whole thing with their kid was hilarious because the kid is hilarious. I know because I don't even know why we followed them on Vine. It's so weird. Oh, I guess it's, is it who you follow on Twitter or what? No, I think I followed her on Vine because she joined. No, because because I had done, I'd done like a few Eileen vines. And then I got a message being like, Eileen is now on Vine. And so she'd only had like, like 90 followers. So I followed her and then like, like did like at Eileen and hoping that she would see our vines and she never responded. But, you know, well, it's not her. So that leads to the story. Perfect segue. Her kid, the reason she's hiding that iPad is because her kid takes it and makes vines. And they're so funny. He makes it on her account. And they're just ridiculous. It's that weird old kid just being like, bla, bla, bla, bla. And that sounds like, it sounds like Lauren from Real House was a Cheshire bar. Well, Brad. So, yeah, it's a poem read by Lauren. What's funny is that I lean Shaq Spare. Shaq Spare in Arizona. So, so, Eileen. Cheshire is going to be insane. I cannot wait to talk about that shit. So, Eileen, but I liked it that Eileen is driving her son to school, to high school, which starts sixth grade. In her sport. In her sport. I noticed that too. So, he is like, he's on the phone. He's like playing a game on the phone. And she keeps on asking questions. And he just literally does not hear her. And then finally, she's just like puts her hand between him and the phone. And it was like a Disney movie where a spell is broken. He's like, huh? What? Oh, yeah. It was amazing. And it's so true. That's how it is. I think that that is going to be well, I shouldn't say it would be hilarious if it happened. It would be like a disaster. But when all the electricity is finally turned off, because everything's computerized. So, even our bank accounts, all of our money, every way we communicate, most people don't even have a landline anymore. You know, so everything would be gone. We'd have no way to do anything. But to talk to each other. And I wonder sometimes walking down the street, I'm like, I remember getting laid more and I know I'm older now, but also people used to look like no one's even looking like you're in a gay bar looking at your grinder. Really? Well, I just think it's like peak efficiency. That's all. I don't do it anymore. I've bumped into a polls when I walk down the sidewalk. I've literally hit my head maybe four or five times because I walk right into things. I've walked into traffic. I've almost killed people in traffic. And you know, we're all we're all controlled by these phones. And I know I sound like such an old man. And everybody already knows this. But I cannot wait till it's turned off. And we all have to talk to each other. It's like, you don't get to have your Facebook persona here. It's your real personality. Oh, shit. All right. All right. Settle down. I told you settle down. Don't talk bad about electronics. Okay, just just take it easy. Remember when we used to talk? We're gonna, I'm like, I'm like giving you like a gesture or getting the guys in the whites in the white suits to come get you. I'm like, he spoke out against grinder. Get him away. Take him away. Okay. So anyway, speaking of white suits, then over in Tuscany, it's time for Lisa and Ken to leave the villa. And I just made a general comment that Lisa in her white dress, she just looks slim. Lisa is just looking great. She looks fantastic. And she started leaving Tuscany early. Where were they going to? Where were they on their way? They were just going, they were just going home, but they're like, our friend has sent a helicopter to pick us up. I liked when she was walking through and she's like, we're going to the blah blah. I don't remember where she said she was going. Hellipad. I don't know. I don't know where we're going to the hellipad. We're going to the da Vinci helipad. Just such grace. She's like, goodbye home. I've owned for 70 years. Like, she just owns everything. Yes. Every place she is. She's like, goodbye. The flowers are like waving and bowing down. Birds are landing on her shoulder. Little ducks and geese and swans are following her hoping to be taken into villa Rosa. Take us with you. I'm a mea because they're Italian. Take us with you. We can only fit three on the arc darling. She's swirling around little animated bluebirds are landing on her fingertips. She's whistling. They keep remaking all these fairy tales. That's how to do it. Snow White is like a 60 year old rich lady who's into like miniature donkeys and has an old flesh Roomba going around the pool or whatever. So anyway, so she gets into helicopter and then back in Los Angeles. Oh, no, it's time for Yolanda to get her vitamin C and fusion and she's bringing her friend Erika Jane. Oh god, I thought she's being held down the hallway rolled like a yoli dolly as usual. And last time we saw her being walked down the street to the last doctor's office, it was some other old blonde whore. I just thought they were the same thing until the name pop. I was like, how did that blonde whore get a new face in a week and it was Erica Jane. Erica Jane. To me, she looks like the American version of Blyona. Well, her outfits. Oh my god. Yeah, she is like American Blyona, which is, you know, not bad. Blyona's a lovely beautiful woman. Oh yeah, everybody loves Blyona. There's a there's someone you're not going to miss inviting to your Christmas party on every list in town. They're like, would you please wear your see through leotard with a giant triangle over the bush and possibly some star tassels? That would be great. So the big thing that happened in the scene is that Yolanda got a vitamin C infusion and Erica James like, oh, I can't look at me though. I'm so afraid of needles. Oh, needles. I'm a girl. And then she's like, well, I was actually surprised when she said she was 44 to be to be fair. I thought she was more like 37. So good on her, but she was like, oh, of course I look good. And I'm like, come on, honey, you look like you just finished performing at Mickey's. And now you're doing your show doing the drag show. Like, I'm rich of cars that look good. I'm like, what did you look like before? I'm picturing like Don Knots. Yeah. So really, that's all that happened in that scene. Well, Erica, Jane, I have to say already, I liked her. Well, I hate it. I hate love her because the squealing over needles, that is such a housewives Kyle. I can't fly, but then she's flying all over the world. Shut up, Kyle. No one's buying it. I don't want to watch it. Do something interesting. Don't make up some stupid things. You can still be a girl. And then Yolanda, this time warm makeup in the scene, but she wore makeup like she was playing a really sick person in like a musical. She was wearing stage makeup. She had like lighter base and then really dark eyeshadow. I was like, you're using dark brown eyeshadow right now in your 16 Yolanda. Please stop. Just stop. Totally doing and halfway dying in Les Mids. That's what she was doing. I only want to sing this song one time, so we shoot it all in one shot on my meds. It actually could still be on my own. I mean, the lyrics were on my own pretending you're beside me all alone. I walk with you till morning. I mean, she could be singing that to Gigi, David, Muhammad, the horse. You know, Muhammad's in some serious trouble right now, right? You know, he might be facing jail time because of the illegal mansion he built in Bel-Air. What? Tell me more. So we've talked about this before, but he built a mansion in Bel-Air, and he violated all sorts of codes. He didn't get approval for like a bajillion things. It's like a sex swing not hung properly or something. And they've tried to, they've sent him warnings. They've done this and that like like many, many times, but he has like a shell company. So it's kind of protecting him. And now it's become a thing. There was an article in the New York Times this week, a long article. I tried reading it and I was like, I can only get through quarter of this. I don't like, I don't care enough to read the rest of it, but he's become like a symbol of like real estate greed and no surprise there. But apparently he may face jail time because he's flagrantly just, you know, built in the face of the law. That makes sense. So anyway, he's in trouble. It's so hard to get a home belt. I can't believe that you would miss all those regulations. Don't people like comb to your house here and you have to have so many forms. Well, it's because he's got so many forms. But he's got so much money. He's got such powerful like the people who buy his places are like these foreign investors. There's so much money behind it that it's like it's worth it to just build it. Maybe one of the sounds because they don't have to follow the law anyway. They just do whatever the fuck they want and they can't be arrested. Nobody can do shit to them. Have you heard that? I think he's selling it. Well, yeah, I mean, I think he's selling it to like the daughter of like the president of Uzbekistan or something crazy. Yeah. And by the way, it's not everywhere. I'm only talking about like Beverly Hills and Belair. There's a lot of news stories about all these guys drunkenly driving and all these women saying that they were raped at these parties, but nothing can be done because they have I don't even know what it's called. Not immunity, but it's not a community or something like that. So people are having a fit and they're, I don't know, just having a fit because that's all we really do here. We just have a fit and then it ends and something else is like literally they're they're just going out and buying Honda Fits. And like, I am so mad. I'm getting out on the Fits. That's like Eileen's revenge on something. I'll show them getting a new kind of square car. So. So anyway, anyway, so your house to one sell your house to a prince is what I'm saying, Muhammad. I've just solved your problems. You're welcome, Muhammad. I'll take one percent of the sale one just one. So anyway, elsewhere, Lisa speaking of Eileen, Lisa and Eileen meet at a restaurant and they're both wearing leopard. No one wears leopard and no one wears what she say. She's like, you know, you know, no one wears the same thing, let alone leopard print or something like that. Like, well, how about this? How about you just stop wearing leopard print? You really shouldn't be wearing it in the first place. Well, last last week, Lisa Rinna's first scene when she was getting makeup to go on Oprah's, whatever. Well, she wasn't even going on it then. She was just getting her makeup to talk about getting her makeup done for whatever that was. When she was in that little cabin. Was that her kitchen? Anyway, it doesn't matter. She was wearing matching horizontal stripes as her agent or whoever that guy. Oh, the Oprah network guy who came to the house. And this week, she's wearing a matching every week. She's just going to be wearing the same print as somebody else. Yeah. But she, but she wore a leopard print like leopard print the same time when she met Brandy. They should have a flashback. I'm like, honey, if that has ever signed that you have to change your wardrobe, you don't want to be matching Brandy. I've never understood leopard print. I mean, the nanny wore it. Okay, it's Fran Drescher's outfit. Take it off. How was it lasted for this long? Yeah. So, um, so anyways, so then Kyle joins them and then just sort of like chit chatting and then I love Eileen. She goes, well, what the hell is going on with your sister? Just gets right to it. Yup. And Kyle's like, what? We're talking about Kim. What? I can't believe it. You know, she was on the Bluetooth on the way over like, okay, you bring up Kim because I don't want to get in trouble with large March. Yeah, I do. I do believe that actually. But I also, I'm not mad at it either. I think they're Kyle. I really have. I know you don't have empathy for Kyle, but I have empathy for Kyle because I think that that's a fucked up family. And right now, they all seem to be blaming Kyle when really it's like, you know, Kim is the real problem here. And so like, given the context of her, given the context, but she doesn't steal their clients and like start giving the given the context of this crazy family. Like, I understand that the only way Kyle can address this issue without like getting into further with her family is if she has other people address it, which of course, her family members know that's what she's doing to you. But still, I don't know, I am, I am empathetic. I think that having to deal with having to deal with Kim Richards, having to deal with Kim Richards and Kathy Hilton, I have empathy for that. I actually do have empathy for Kyle as a human being. That's why she makes me so crazy. Usually, I get most mad at people that I kind of like. I get where she's coming from and dealing with addiction and taking care of both her drunk mom and her sister and doing all this shit she had. She had to grow up in a horrible way and I do empathize with that. It's just that her the rest of it is so fake, but then she's living off of the fame of all that misery in a way, because she totally chased Kim down in that hotel to get to the front door about being drunk. Like, she does disgusting things. But normally, I would say, yes, but I feel like they all live off that fame of something. I feel like they all live off that fame on each other's shot in Freuda. You know what I'm saying? I think that they're an opportunistic group. So given that they're all equally opportunistic in their own ways, you know, that eliminates that. For me, you know, like that like evens out the playing field. So I'm empathetic to Kyle. Just be empathetic. Look, if you have any kind of empathy for any three of those bitches, those Richard sisters, watch the Bum uncensored. No, not well, you have to watch that. But the thing, it's on YouTube, they shot a pilot themselves, you know, like more retail was holding the beta max or whatever. And it's the three sisters sitting in Kathy's old lady living room with like hotel carpeting. Stop it, Kathy. Like, large march needs a clue. She's rich as hell. She's so tacky. Okay. Kathy had a reality show herself, like about nine years ago, where she tried to like, she was trying to be like Martha Stewart and make people watch it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So Kathy. Anyway, so I have to tell you, so they made this pilot on YouTube and it's where they go help homeless people. It's called Bum. Yeah. If you ever have any empathy for these women, watch that. And you'll see, they're just, they're not good. They're terrible. Kim's like, I really want a job. Are you going to work? Are you going to do it? Are you going to do it? She's like trying to tell off this homeless guy who's obviously wasted his eyes are rolling back. He doesn't have any teeth. Was it Ken from season two? Anyway, my empathy is dead. Oh, so anyway, so what they do start talking about Kim, which makes me happy because I love when Lisa Renau talks about Kim and you could see, oh God, you could see that the validation in her voice when she's talking about it and she's like, she's not it. This girl doesn't have the tools to live in this society. You know what she needs? She needs a curfew. It's a curfew. Be back at 11 o'clock, Kim. Kim Richards. When did someone going to say enough is enough? I'm like, did you see Dr. Phil? When is somebody going to say eight is enough? That's what I want to know. You beast. Because that's really cool. She asked me flat out dangerous. Harry Hamlin, look at what she's dangerous. She has a chainsaw. I love Renah's completely deranged anger about someone else's addiction that she barely even knows. Like she gets so mad about it still. And then they show the clip. Well, yeah, I know. See, but I don't go out in public here. Yeah. Yeah, they showed a clip of Kim running away like climbing over that little climbing over the freeway. Three way erosion barrier. Yeah. I'm like, you don't have a rat kick. You have a rat. Kim Richards, I have someone's going to hold you accountable. Missy, you better own it. Oh, watch out traffic. Watch out. Kim Richards. And here's your easy pass. You forgot your easy pass. My least in my impersonations. Don't ask me for a loan when you get that ticket. Missy. Easy pass tickets are not cheap people. Oh, goodness. That's so weird. I've talked about easy pass tickets two days in a row. Okay. It's a thing. It's a thing. Easy pass. Get out of my brain. Get out of my brain. So then after this scene, we then see the Lisa's going to Ohio because if you remember, Lisa Vanderpump found the world's smallest little horse, except it was a half inch, half inch larger than the world's smallest little horse. They're going to go to Ohio and pick it up and bring it to Ken for surprise birthday present darling. Which is like, you know, only the thing that like a super rich person will do. Like, like, this is the sort of adventure. And I'm not I'm not saying in any sort of class this way. I love it. It's like an aspirational field trip for me is to get onto a private plane and fly to the middle of the country to look at a little horse and fly back in the same day. But that's what they're doing. Well, Lisa Vanderpump, normally I would think, Oh, fuck off with your stupid, like trying to be wacky scene for a TV show. But you know, that's not made up. She really does shit like that. Yeah, that wasn't even trying to be wacky. It's just it was just like, Oh, well, it's like a very pressing matter for her. Yeah, I'm going to I'm going to get a little horse on my friends borrowed private jet. We're going to take a stretch limo there. Probably fit the horse in there somehow. I mean, the car is big, darling. Like Jesus Christ, ladies crazy. And you know, she does it all the time. And I have to say, I was legitimately caught up in the little horse drama. I was like, what's going to what are they going to do? I mean, I was like, what's going to happen here? But I love when they're when they're flying off to Ohio and they're going to the air field. And Lisa Vanderpump's like, we're going in a friend's plane. It's it's not that big of a plane. But you know, it'll fit in a little animal. I'm like, Oh, you don't have to apologize to us. You know, you're taking a private plane. She's like, like, she's like embarrassed that her private plane is not large enough for TV. I'm so sad that we didn't get to see the horse on the plane. I really thought we were going to see the horse on the plane because she ends up with two little horses and then Mohammed built them a big pink house for the horse and the backyard or the horses. And who is her friend that's sending her little planes and helicopters around the world? Who is this person? Do they live on an island somewhere with a volcano? I mean, I just want to know where are where are these aircraft coming from? Well, hello, look around you. These rich fuckers around here that can't forget when you're poor. All we have to do is drive three blocks and then boom, there it is. Like people flying around in helicopters and shit. What the hell people? It's true. People do take helicopters from Malibu to Dodger Stadium. That's a fact. Well, I will say that Lisa's her private plane definitely outdid Ramona's private plane from the Berkshires. Wasn't that a helicopter? No, I thought Ramona got on a private plane. No, just my friend is sending a helicopter. I thought she got a helicopter. No, I thought it. I mean, maybe I thought it was like one of those little sea plane things that looks like a drone. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. By the way, off topic, I have to mention this. Over the weekend, there was a Bearfoot Contessa holiday special, which was one of the best Bearfoot Contessa episodes of all time. And like the first half an hour or 45 minutes of it, it was Ina Garten going up to the Berkshires to celebrate Christmas with the Lieberman's, which A was funny because it's like the Gardens and the Lieberman's two Jewish couples having their own Christmas special. And second of all, I was like, see, Ramona, if the Berkshires are good enough for Ina Garten, then they should be good enough for you. The Berkshires are okay now. It was only that one trip because she just wanted to get the hell out of there to go to a party. Well, it was whoa, like Molly Sims is like backyard barbecue or something that she wanted to get to. You know how many Instagram followers I'm going to get from this party? My dad. So anyway, so the Lisa's land in Ohio and they're driving to the farm and I love it. It starts to rain and Lisa and was like, it's pouring. Now what? Like, this is an example of Angelina's in action. Like, what do you, it's raining. What could we do? Like, do we have supplies? Do we have some mac and cheese? Like from a box that we can eat if things get really bad? What are we going to do? Now what? Oh my God, the horse is going to get mud in the limo. Like, you can afford a stretch limo, a plane and like a helicopter and a jet or whatever the hell you guys are on. You can afford a maid. Yeah, this is, this is why you have to always obey curfew. Because if you don't, you get cut in the rain. I knew I should be home at 11 11 10 a.m. Oh, you got mud on your shoes. You're late for curfew, Missy. Told you. Hey, Sangha told you so, but also love it. Is there a deli around here? Are you hungry? No, I just want to look at job opportunities for Daisy. Delilah, whatever her name is. Don't be a bores head. Speaking of, there's a deli next to the ooh la la in the strip mall. Oh, Lisa, you're such a ham. Speaking of which, I want to look at the deli down the street. I want to make sure it's up to OSHA standards. I want to make sure that Delilah is in the proper deli. I need to do some comparison shopping. So they go get those words. The horse has a tutu, which is hilarious. And it also is this fat little weird looking thing. So cute. Actually, you skipped the scene. Oh, I am. Okay, go on then. Yeah, it's not a very exciting scene. But, uh, well, this is a full grown horse, a Nick, but Jane. Yeah, Erica, Jane, we've been to Nick, my wrapped in a rail, wrapped in money, back to one bill that they paid. Yeah, wrapped in challenge checks. So this was Erica's first true scene where she walks around her mansion. It was it was a typical real house that's interesting, where we see like a blonde woman in her 40s, still acting like she's in her 20s. And she's really rich and she came from nothing. And look at that. There's her older, richer husband who got her everything. She wants and she does the typical spiel of like, no, I really love him. And you people call me a golden digger, but I don't really care what people think. That's a lie. You really do care. And, you know, walk around her house and he, um, she was, oh, so here's their love story. She was broke and a waitress and her customer, her husband was a customer for a year. And then she gave him her number and now they're married. So I actually thought this was romantic. And let me tell you, boy, some of these, uh, some of these real housewives, they get a yo, you know, like a Yolanda. They're very fancy. They're very like kind of fake fancy. But at the end of the day, you did a good job and you kind of won in a way, like you got the rich guy in the house and everything, but that doesn't make you more intelligent than everybody else. It makes me mad. It's like this phony, fanciness. It just pisses me off. This vision does not have that. She's like, yeah, so I married an old fucking man for his money. He was nice to me. And, you know, I'm paying for things. Who cares? Like what's going on in your money? Yeah, I like her. So far I like her. I'm just think it's funny. It's like the typical story. And it's also like, I think it's like the same sort of analytical Smith and her husband, right? And he like come and visit her every day at wherever she was working. Yeah, it's also just women who are used as fuck puppets their whole life. And finally, it's some guy who probably, I mean, let's face it, probably can't get it up to even do that. And it's just like someone who's nice to you and wants a partner, you know. And well, if you're really nice, it's like a nice old four relationship, you know, I love a good ending and I love a proud hoe. Well, you know what? If you read between the lines, it basically was for a year, I was fucking around with all these assholes and jerks and douchebags. 40. And then finally, she was like, you know what, screw all this. I'm going for the rich guy. The creepy, the creepy guy keeps visiting me at the bar. I'm going for him. He's rich. Yeah, exactly. Look, you're milk. Okay, you're a carton of milk. You're about to expire. Do you want to be drunk by like, I don't know, a supermodel? Or do you want to just be really enjoyed by an older man until you go, who's going to really compliment you and love what you're doing to his coffee? That's you, you know, who cares if you're being swallowed by at the end of the day? They're nice. They are nice. And you know what, he seems like a lovely man. And he's also really smart and talented, like, Aaron Brockovich, okay? He's an attorney, but he's not a defense attorney. No offense. But no offense to any of our friends married to one. But uh, on these shows, usually, it's like the defense attorney who's dripping in billions of dollars because he screwed someone out of something. This is a plaintiff. He's like going after the bad people. Julia Roberts was in a movie that someone played him in. Well, um, but note though, what I thought was, what was slightly telling was they're like walking around their property and Erica wants to do something to their pool or to whatever. And she's like, I want to do this. And this and this, you know, with your permission, of course, like, we still know, like, oh, of course. But, you know, he's an old man who's been used by a lot of women. And she's a woman who's been used by a lot of old men. So they're, like, coming into the middle and making something good out of it. Good for you, guys. Ho hugs, guys. Ho hugs. Yeah. So, but Erica, you still get a thumbs up for me so far. So far, your, your bitch flower hasn't bloomed. And I feel like if it does bloom, it's going to bloom in it in a good way. So, so keep on, keep on fighting the good fight. And you always got to drop some white trash in here to start some trouble. So anyway, so now we get back to Ohio. And, uh, tiny horses, darling, tiny horses everywhere. We get to see a dwarf Philly. We see, we meet Rose, but the dwarf, she's, she is not a Motown Philly. She is a dwarf Philly. And she has a tutu on. She has a little tutu on. And, uh, what's it going to say about this stupid thing? It was really funny because Rinna's running around chasing chickens. Yeah. Oh, yeah. She's chasing chickens. She caught one. I know. I loved it when she was chasing the chickens around. I just started laughing. I could just imagine it'd be like, you get back here. It's curfew, chicken curfew. Own it, Missy. Own it, chicken. Own it. I'm putting you in a deli right now, chicken. You have to learn. You have to work your way up, chicken. That chicken is not fit for society. It's dangerous. Down right dangerous, I tell you. Attic, it's an addict. The addict chicken. Don't just dare say anything about Harry Hamlin, you chicken. This chicken has signs of alcohol abuse. That's it. We're talking right now at dinner. The best part was I was going to record it and then I didn't. But when she finally caught that chicken and she was like, bringing it back, the chicken was cooing in this way that sounded exactly like Camille Grammar. I was like, huh. How sad that we're going to be celebrating somebody else's. Yeah. We're at the same day that we hear about our friends. The setting. I know. So good. Those animals were crazy. They are interbreeding like, it's not just the humans over there, apparently, because the breeders, I was like, oh, that's where they got it. It's in their DNA, literally. Like one's like chicken lady from, what's that show with those guys? Love that show, sorry, I'm stoner. You know what I mean? They used to wear wigs and stuff. The guys from comedy channel. Anyway, chicken lady. Those animals were all crazy. The people are in our bread. Isn't the hall? Isn't the hall? Thank you. And Lisa's running around with the baby donkey horse or whatever the hell that thing is. And Lisa Vanderpump tells Inbreeder number one, she's like, what's wrong with that lame thing? I know. I haven't liked her since she left days of our lives. I'm talking about the donkey horse, like, well, if something's wrong with it, like, we would know by now. Darling, it's, it can't move a leg. We do know by now, darling. Come on. Well, they should have just called up the vet and been like, get over here right now. We have someone who's about to pay like $10,000 for this pit for this, this horse. It's like, well, I know a vet mixed with a car dealer. I'll call him. What we call him? Rosebud. Rosebud is injured. Rosebud is lame. I think she's calling it lame because it's the legit meaning of lame. And then it makes me feel bad for calling so many people lame over the years because I'm really hurting lame people. They're also fat shaming Rosebud. Lisa Vanderpump is like, it's a fat, it's a fat little horse. It's just fat. What can I say? It's fat. It's a fat horse. I mean, I wouldn't do it. I can't tell you what to do because it's your horse. I mean, if I was pregnant with a horse, I wouldn't want you telling me what to do with my horse. It's my right. It's my body. It's my horse. So do what you want. I'll do what you want. It's a nightmare. This is a nightmare right now. I mean, this horse is out way past its curfew, a total nightmare. Could you imagine Lisa Rina literally has a nightmare about like a miniature donkey horse that walks with a limp. It's my nightmare. I can't get it out of my head. And there it is. Little fat donkey horse limping around. Not much crazy. Why didn't Lisa Vanderpump just get one of the other little horses? You know, I mean, just because this one's the smallest in the world, just get one that's like three inches larger or there's like, you know, there's like a mini horse farm in Santa Barbara. Just go up there. Just go up there. Well, it's not that it's a mini horse. It is that it's the second smallest in the world and they dropped that adjective this time. This time it was the smallest in the world. So I don't know if like the smallest one died this week. It was it was super lame. It was even lame. So in Brad horses, like you cannot go to horse emails anymore in the mall. You can't be going to mini horse mart or whatever those stores are because they look cute, but then they all limp in and dying after three years. Well, good. Well, anyway, congratulations Rosebud for the other one dying. Well, you can't just leave it there because you know that thing's going to be turned into glue. How many millionaires are looking for a baby horse for their, you know, about to inspire husbands? Exactly. At least their kids will be soon. By the way, again, I have to give props to Lisa Vanderpump because when she and Lisa Rina, they're propped up against the car discussing Rosebud Lisa, she was just wearing a jeans and a white t-shirt and she just looked so sexy and I'm a gay male. I was like, this woman, she still has Lisa Vanderpump. Lisa Vanderpump, I meant. Did I say Rina? I don't know. I don't remember. I'm just, I'm just trying to pick her both of them to see who you're talking about. Yeah, Rina looks good too. But Lisa Vanderpump, I mean, when she was in the jeans and the white t-shirt, I mean, it was like, it was like a callback to old school Kelly Lebrock. I'm like, I have to bow down, bow down at the altar. You still have a little, you still have a little kinky hetero and you've been kinky hetero kind of growled a little bit while you were talking about this is this is what this is what happens when I get when I get oddly invested in little horse drama, strange things happen. Start looking at the wrong things. Well, I liked that Lisa kind of pulled out her surf for this one. She's like, listen here into breeder number one with a blurred out shirt that I don't understand. We're getting back into that stretch limousine. We're going to a helipad, which is going to take us to a private plane, which is going to shoot us into space and we're going to be brought down by a satellite. And when I get home, I want to know that there's been a veterinarian here. I don't want Dr. Quinn medicine woman either. I don't like her. I met her in the party once. What a bitch. I want a detailed report on this horse and then we'll fly him in. I'm like, Oh my God. So now you're just going to put this poor miniature donkey thing on Southwest Airlines or something. Well, I could, I'm surprised that you didn't get someone from pump to come by. But like, all right, Eric, show these breeders how to how a real horse should walk. Show him show show the amount right now. All right. Listen here, Rosebud. I brought Eric from pump to say you had to walk. Rosebud, quickly, what pairs well with a stick? Come on now. Hey, don't even know. You don't even know. All right, Rosebud. I don't, I had to break the bad news to you, but we had, we had an undercover diner come to your stable. And this is what they told us about you. They said you didn't even serve them a margarita or a pump teeny. Kill it, make it midget glue. Happy birthday, darling. I've gotten you glued. Leave your little people together. Serves in a thimble. So, I love so, so then Lisa calls up Ken and she's now she's like really concerned about the situation. She's like, Ken, did you want a little horse? If I'd gotten you a little horse anyway, would you have wanted it? I don't know. It's like a horse. It was just four. I don't know then would all have to walk. This is, this is quintessential rich people problems. But, but a little horse, would you want a little? It's not, it's not, do we need one? Do you want one? I just might have one. I want you to want the little horse. I love that she went through this whole story so fast and he didn't even blink an eye. He's like, Hey, for sure. Hello? Anyone there? All right, darling. Listen, I know I sound like I've rounded the bend. But, I'm here no higher, I didn't get in a rabbitly. So, I'm here no higher to buy a mini horse. You want a mini horse because I love mini horses. I wanted it to be a special mini for you. Do you want it, darling? It's lame. You want it? We like laying things. We still like jiggy doing. Do you want it? I don't know, darling. Darling, it's Rocio cleans your lint trap. I kept hearing you over there. All right, we'll leave it. I can't understand, Ken, darling. Well, and then I love that Lisa, the way she, I love her, I don't know what you would call it, a protest, a rationalization, whatever. She goes, you know, I wouldn't have flown all the way across the country to get the smallest horse in the world. Then it turns out to have one dodgy leg. What's up, the violins? But Lisa loves a broken ho. Yeah, that's why I was surprised she didn't take it. Lisa has seen this broken little animal, but Rinna just wants to go. I mean, they've been there five hours. Rinna says on the way out, she's like, we've been here five hours. It's over. That is so hilarious. Oh, I owe her $5. What should we, what should I do, darling? I mean, it needs me. Look at the little thing. It's fat, but I could help it with that. People only overeat because they need something. I'm not giving them. Do you understand, bandit? Come in little holes. Oh, we could walk it around. Sir and pump him and show off my little filly. Speaking of fat little donkey midgets, come here, Bueller. Come over here. The cutest non-filly of them all. It's because I'm speaking of Vanderpump voice. You see, came over with his head down like, I love you. Oh, so, so, meanwhile, back in LA, we have a random scene of Erica at her rehearsal, which again, was very much like Leona at her rehearsal. Meet my author, Eagle. Erica Jane. I'm like, uh, you're still the same. Yeah. I was like, what's different? You're exactly the same. You took off your like, uh, gab zooks, sweatpants or whatever, but otherwise, still he, you just got a big piece of fabric over your vagina, and then everything else to see through. I don't understand any of this. Yeah, really. She, um, she was, uh, she was basically working on a number four. I don't know where she's going to perform. I think it was maybe a valvoline, but she was getting, she's getting her choreography done, and she's like, this was, this cracked me up. She's like, a valvoline. I just imagine. So she's like, I love, I love the car. I was like, pat the bus, pat the bus, drop it down, bounce, roll kitty cat meow. Fussy fingers, fussy fingers. When you walk into a room of flamingos like that, and they're all laughing and pointing and applauding and woo hooing, you know, you look like a hoe because we're only laughing like that because you're so ridiculous. Like, we'd love a train wreck, darling. Get a straight person that helps you out a little. Get a Trent, get a straight person with a selection of trench coats. Pop the bus, pat the bus, pat the bus, pat the bus, pat the bus, drop it down and bounce. I'm surprised she didn't come running and she's like, I can wear my choreography. I was picturing that. Uh, they showed kind of a little montage of her music while she was describing what she does. And she's like, I'm by night. I'm Erica Jane. I'm sick. Erica Jane sexy. She doesn't give a ass. Okay. She's fucking an old guy. She's proud of it. Okay. One of my songs is "Pankler." And another song is "Just More." Because they're all spelled wrong. They're all missing. Um, yeah. All right, this is "Pankler." Yes. Starting. I was going to do it. No, that's perfect. I'll just talk for 10 hours. "Pankler." Welcome, "Pankler." This is what we call generic gay, certain part of music. She's riding, uh, on a bed. I love a good garage band dance-on. Whoa. "Pankler," by the way, with no E. The video is all ridiculous. Now she's dancing from a giant fan. "Pankler." "Pankler." This is exactly what you hear at the Abbey. You go to the Abbey and this is on a weekend. And can't be canyas singing it. She's just driving around. All right, I'm stopping. Yeah, that's enough. I mean, how much do we need? The entire first verse was about swallowing. I mean, can you can you write this shit? It's amazing. She has a song with Flo Rider. That's crazy. Well, you know, maybe that's where she got the whole spelling things wrong. No, let me go first. She looks actually at his spell. Right. It's just has an apostrophe, right? No, it's just a space. Flo Rider. Yeah, there you go. I don't want to do your thing where I just put a space. So I'll do Yesterdle's thing. Just leave that a vowel. Yesterdee. Oh, my god. Yesterdee. Yesterdee. Yesterdee. Arzell. You know what? I mean, she looks great in the video. It's just I can't I personally don't like generic circuit party music. It's just just sort of a thin it's always like a thin beat with like really about the music. It's just like people getting being on drugs and then watching some weirdo animatronic flesh bot thing like riding around on stage putting her big ass in your face all the time. Like seriously, I can't believe some of that was even on Bravo. I was like, get your ass crack wide open like you're about to, I don't know, stamp me like get that thing out of my face, lady. I know it actually, you know, it's funny. Talking about Blyona reminds me of Remember we made that song by What's Your Face? A Fawny? We made a Fawny song. Awesome. That's a fucking amazing song. And it what Fawny was actually good though, because I think it was about a dinner party. I'm trying to find it right now. But like basically Erica Jane's song like our ours was really it was like a joke and it's not that far. Oh, here it is. I have it. It's a 30 second song and it's really not that different from Erica Jane's. Here we go. I bet Erica Jane is actually jealous of this song. So good. So good. Erica Jane is going to re-record that and call it Fawny. Leave out the A. Oh, yeah. So good. Yeah. I don't know. You're married to an older guy, but that doesn't make you younger, darling. All right. You're too old to be shoving your ass crack in my face. Self type of wear. Come out with a line of scarves or purses or wine for Christ's sake. I know. So let's see. So where were we in this? We're talking about it. Okay. Don't let me gaze. None of us want to buy your ass or it. So we've gone on a tangent. Let's get back to the show. So Lisa. So Lisa is throwing a birthday party for Ken. It's the 70th birthday party. She's having a dress rehearsal for Ken's week. Come to lunch. It's going to be lunch. And in case anyone falls asleep, there will be a tree of hats in front because I know none of you own one. Yeah. She's getting everything ready. She even there's even a hanky cameo. She's don't poo on the bridge, hanky. Don't poo on the bridge. Meanwhile, it's the black swans who've been putting all this time framing hanky fur. He's like, right, right, pointing at them. He's pointing at them as they're like shitting behind her. She's like, what? He's like, it's behind you. He's like, what? What do you, what do you point to get hanky? They're just like, diarrhea-ing. Mummy's having a party today. Do not frame hanky. All right. Hanky, you've been a bad swan. No more food for you because you're pooing everywhere. And she's like, and then we have, she, she, darling, Beverly hair, belly hair, darling, she, she, she, all you want me to get a cotton candy so people can walk around and have something to suck. She's like, no, darling, just be quiet over there, darling. Quiet over there, Kevin, she, she, just get me a giant chair to sit in, darling, a throne. You're sitting on a throne, it's getting the party, darling. So, so then, um, the party says it's like she's so amused. I know. So then the party starts and we have some familiar, well, familiar, as you say, faces, but more like familiar personas, familiar body frames, Taylor and Camille are back, they come and everyone's there for Ken's birthday. Everyone's having a great time and Lisa Renee shows up with one of those like horsey stick things and everyone's like laughing. And my favorite was that there's this guy named Mossy who's one of their friends and he's just, oh, great job, Renee. I'm like, who are you Mossy? And why are you telling, why are you calling her red-ass? She's not your friend. They probably are friends. Um, Taylor came in and it was like that scene of an end of the world movie where the earth just opens up. Close your mouth, has nobody taught you to close mouth smile yet, darling, just scaring the swans, darling, like, oh my god, it's Taylor, darling. Hide your children. I know, I know, but I was so happy. What are you reading right now? Someone just messaged me on Skype and I had no idea who it was. I got distracted. Someone named Dil. I know when you're reading the internet. I can see that. Someone named Dil. No, Dil. All right. I do not talk to pickles on Skype. I'm in a relationship. Well, anyway, um, so Taylor was there, their giant mouth and Camille. So they all sit down at the table and they're all chatting. And then Taylor just goes off on Yolanda. It was amazing. She was like, she's like, I don't understand the deal. Like, one moment's a happy selfie. Then it's a sad selfie. Then a happy selfie. Then a sad selfie. It's like, I don't want to see, like, needles in your, in your arm every two seconds. That quote was so good because she goes, she goes. I'm trying to follow her on insta, but I just, it's so hard following somebody with needles in their arms in every other picture. Like, you're trying. She's like, I'm trying to put some effort to this friendship by following her about it's really hard scrolling past those needles. So good. Well, did Taylor and Yolanda cross over with this? Don't you remember it? David's, she's still paid because she's best friends with David's ex-wife. What's her buns? Yeah. And then at that dinner party when Yolanda's like, I would like to announce David, my love, my king, singing a beautiful song with his Grammys and then Kyle and what's her buns kept laughing. It's like, there's nothing more disgusting than a drunk woman. Yeah. Yeah. Taylor and Yolanda from the beginning. Yeah. Mainly they had the allegiance to Linda. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So that was funny. Taylor was just going off. What? What's with this line, right guys? I mean, anyone else? She's telling the whole table. The dang girl. She's like, I'm smelling misdiagnosis. And you know, Lisa Rinna, I think it was Lisa Rinna, maybe it was Eileen. I don't remember it. They were like, well, she's really overstepping, but come on. She's saying what everyone's thinking. And she's saying it to Lisa Rinna. Like, Lisa Rinna has to agree with you because you have mouth solidarity. Get out of here, lady. That's not a thing. Lisa Rinna is like, why is she putting this all on me? I'm the nice one. Okay. Say this to somebody else. And then Kyle's just like trying not to laugh over there with her Botox things. Loved it. That was delicious. And Taylor was kind of right, but I like that everybody else, because they've really made it look like the ladies go after you'll want to hard this year. And it's nice that these ladies are smart enough to let other idiots do it. And then they can just still pretend to be nice. And they're doing a good job so far than I think. Mm hmm. Yeah. I agree. Mostly plain less, don't you think? I mean, so far. Yeah. Oh, you can't wait to see that crumble. Yeah. Well, anyway, so after this Taylor moment, then, you know, it's like raining, whatever. And next, you know, the women are all frolicking in the pool. And in my mind, I'm like, what about the mic packs? What about the mic packs? And unless they're a waterproof already, which may have been because they were, you could actually hear them pretty well in the pool. So they probably were waterproof and they was probably pre-planned. Anywho, so they're frolicking in the pool. And then Taylor's gay. You remember Taylor's gay was there. And she's the one was named Dwight was like, yeah, she has the other Dwight, right? I think doesn't isn't his named white? I think so. He was one who pushed you pushed Ken in the pool. I'm like, what are you doing? That man is 70 years old. Why are you pushing him into the shallow end of the pool? Yeah, where there's like one inch of water, you push a fucking guy right on his ass. Not cool. But then Ken immediately saw Rinna's boobs and the smile on his face is so hilarious. I took a screenshot. I was dying. He's just like, oh, I'm still alive. He's like, oh, I'm dying and gone to heaven. But exactly. I love Eileen was like, well, I mean, gotta save the shoes. They're expensive. You see her, she's like rapidly like untying the shoes trying to get them out of the water. She's putting that shit on eBay to pay off the online poker bill. Absolutely. Bless her heart. I think next week, Vince calls her an idiot. You know what, Vince, you better watch it. Okay. I know you think you've gone through a lot in life, but you have not gone through the hate of Housewives fans. Okay. That is a wrath nobody wants to live through. They'll rip you apart. Good luck with it. Yeah, good luck. Good luck. Clear. And you know, Eileen's gonna give him the Ford. So good. Goodbye. Take the Ford. Getting a beamer fucker. Yeah, finally. Now that I can blow in my money. Do you like how I've just made up this whole thing that he's a gambling addict? That there's no evidence of that. They played poker and he says he likes poker or whatever. Or is he a pro? I seem to think I think he was like a pro or no, he I mean, he hosts or he produce like one of those like World Series of poker sort of shows. I've just said it so many times. I really believe now that he's a gambling addict, but I'm the only person who said it was it came from last year because they said something they she said that I think at one point that when they go to Vegas, they like to gamble and they like to gamble hard or something something along those lines. And then she said she was gonna like stop working and then she started working again. And so you inferred that like basically they are crazy game like they have a gambling problem. And you know, why not? We just ran with it. Yeah, it's working for me. I'm like totally believing it now. I'm like sunglasses in night. Your husband has a problem. Missy. Own it. Own it. The devil version of Rinna's voice. Own it. Missy. Own it. Okay, so let's move on. Right? It's over. All right. All right. This is minute one hour 38. Wow. Not bad. So we spent an hour talking about Beverly Hills. We've only got eight more hours to go. Well, workout doesn't have to be a long a long one. Okay, you know, I did write a lot about workout and you're right. It does not need this much discussion. These people are gross. I hate them all. I want them to die. And that's pretty much the end. I don't like look, I'm all for you guys getting healthy and working out and stuff. But these are fame whores without personality. So they're like the same kind of needy, I don't know, fame horror is only word I can think of. Yeah. Why don't we why don't we go through some of the the people on the show? Do you want to do that? Or we get I should know we'll go through your notes because you actually took time to write notes. So yeah, that's just a general they all have that neediness of reality star people, but they don't have the personality, the talent. They don't have anything. They're just no matter how hard no matter how hard Courtney tries, but work body work, bitch, work for Courtney. He really has a hard time reading the lines that are fed to him. He's like, you know, in New York City, the hardest part about being a trainer is waking up in the morning because at night you want to stay up. So by the way, I'm not sick. I'm coughing up this vegetable juice or whatever the hell is in these replace these electric cigarette things gross. Anyway, I'm smoking this. I'm coughing up vegetable things while we're talking about a fitness show. Take that workout. So it starts with these days, everyone wants to be a trainer. I'm like, yeah, no. Yes. Everyone does. Like, I know that like when I graduated from college, the first thing I thought was, okay, now I can finally pursue my dream of being a trainer. Honey, do you want to be a doctor, a lawyer, or someone who yells, push up, push up, push up. It's your choice. Yeah, these, these people, I mean, I know, I know that like what they're saying was probably fed to them by the producers to try to amp it up. But when they talk about like, everyone wants to be a trainer, but do you have what it's got, what you need? Like being a trainer is like being a celebrity. I was like, just calm down. Everyone wants to try now. You can't be one unless you have what it takes to make it to the top. I'm like, what's the top? Like a nicer gym that you rent out by the hour or shut up. Like, what are you talking about? And they're like, you have to have what it takes and it cuts to a girl going, okay, you can do another push up. You can do it. I know you can do it. Changing the world. One muffin top at a time. Yeah. Jesus. So there's a girl who used to be in musicals, I think, or something. She's a musical dancer. And I like her because I've known her like a hundred times in my life. And we're always best friends. And she always sticks up for me in front of other people. But then she talks about me behind my back. But I still forgive her because I know she's future fat. And she's dependable for the long term. And she has it's I don't know why she's even there because she has this like sassy Midwestern mom haircut. And I'm like, what are you doing in a show about New York City? But to her that's posh spice. I know that's what I love about this girl. Because I know you are spice that damn posh spice. Really unleashed a blight on on the women of America. My goodness. She fucked one of us. I mean, she nailed nailed down one of the hottest richest men in the world. I mean, everyone's going to try that hair at least once I would if I had hair. So these people are done. Okay. So what am I saying? Go go go boy. Okay. So some of the fun drama in this show are just that the people are so not self aware of the ham this. What is the go go boy's name? I just write it is Jason. Maybe I think it's Jason. He is the guy who as I mentioned last week, he used to work in fashion. And now he is a trainer. But then like some of like like Courtney who is the Courtney is like the Vin Diesel one. He's the gay Vin Diesel or Vin Diesel. According to some people. And then Layla. You can't do that man. And then he's that's too manly. I'm trying to do it because it's kind of like he talks like this. He talks like this. He's like, girl, girl, yo, where you could Joe always need his Joe that go go Joe, go go Joe works at a gay bar. You know, it's actually kind of funny that the one who is the meanest to him and the one who is sort of like is the most homophobic to him is the gay guy, you know, classic like self loathing gay guy. He's like, he works at a gay bar gay bar. Oh, he wears dresses. He's like, he's actually the least accepting of Joe. And he should be the most. Well, you would think that it's more than just gayness because Joe doesn't own his gayness. And you know, he is a little does he's like, he's like, yeah, I'm heterosexual. I'm into fashion. I like all this stuff. I mean, Joe's annoying in and of itself. But I'm I've been on Joe's side for all the arguments. But I think that with Courtney, it's also just an age thing because Courtney's old. I mean, he says 35. So like what 42? He's old for that New York City being 42 is like being 65. But I still have it, girl. No, you're pretty much like 65. Like, literally you're a 65 year old queen and a 35 year old spot or, you know, like a 30 year old's body with a 45 year old's face. It's all very weird with all this working out. It changes so much of your nothing matches like your face doesn't match your body. It's weird. I mean, hot. You guys are doing a great job on that. They're all hot. They're all hot. So anyway, he's really really mean that guy is just kind of like old Queenie stuff. It's basically Kenya more lines the whole time. And she steals from drag queen. So there you go. Yeah. But there's one girl in this who makes me really crazy. The main girl. Well, she think what's her name? Layla. How does she talk? She talks like this. She's kind of a donkey voice, but like, yeah, I think it's kind of like this. And she's always talking about how hot she is. Oh, you know, like, I'm so hot. It's like hard being so hot. You know, I'm like, you know, like, if you can't do with it, and just like, don't be around me. Because like, I'm a troublemaker, a hot troublemaker, like, when am I gonna get to blow you, babe? Like, when am I gonna get to suck your dick for real, babe? Baby, you're gonna, like, affect me. Just please stop talking. Please forever. Find a way to just stop eat your tongue. Do something tonight. Just make this girl quiet. I know she is. She and her boyfriend, Jay are like one of those awful couples that when, you know, we all know about the fighting couples who are terrible in and of themselves, but this is these two are like, like that a subset of the fighting couples that's even worse, where she actively does things to piss him off. But then he, when he gets pissed off, acts like a total baby. And so just when you're on, just when you're, when you should be on his side, then you're on her side. And you realize, like, I just don't want to be around any of these people. Yeah, they're both awful. They go to, they go to Courtney's boot camp and when you go to have a boot camp girl. You just made him Cheshire. It seems like it would be so easy to do his voice, but I don't know. I feel like I have no problem. Of course, who knows what mine actually sounds like. What it sounds like in my head versus what it sounds like on the podcast are two different things. But he's like, he's like, all right, when that's you now on mine's messed up, because he got in my head, you got Cheshire in my head. He feels like he should be from London, but he's not. He's got like a New York accent, but it's like from New Orleans. I don't know. Now mine's messed up. Thanks, Ronnie. Sorry. Who would my Courtney? Sorry, Courtney, Courtney blacked you, but he has a, he has a boot camp and he like splits up people like the workout partner is gonna do something. And then she's like, I'm gonna work with Noah. I'm gonna work with Noah. And she's like, what is this? She's like, ask down, head up, whatever. Hey, hey, Jay, do you see this? Noah has his face in my vagina. Jay, Jay. And he's like, uh, fucking lay left. I couldn't Courtney is, Courtney is like, oh my god. Just, you know what? Do Courtney basically just do like Joan Rivers, like black Joan Rivers. Dead. That's, that's basically what it is. Dead. It's like how she sounds in her grave. She's like, oh. Yeah. So then Jay gets mad because she's, but he shouldn't really be getting mad because it's Noah. I can't with him. Okay. He winds the whole time. She's a dumb whore. Okay. That's it. I can't. That is. And also that girl's a butter faced with Ronald McDonald here. I don't even, I can't with her. She needs to go away. Go to school, read a book. Very fragile Rocky. She's very fragile. So she, the big fight in this was the go-go boy. The guys on this, by the way, except for Courtney, I don't think Courtney is, but the other guys are all on, and I know I say it every week, but the whole world's on it. Those guys are like snorting, Adderall, taking diet. They're doing everything in the book, cocaine, caffeine, snorting the caffeine, like the girl on Homeland. She's like, what? He gets my bloodstream faster. Because they all talk like this and they all repeat themselves. And I don't know what they're saying. I think it's New York. New York, New York, New Jersey. Oh, no. I lived in New York for 10 years. That's no, no, no. I get no nonsense and all of that. But they talk so fast. Man, bro. Well, the main, the, the main drama of the episode kicked off with the fact that Noah was invited to be a host for this GQ party, which is cool. I mean, I would be, I'd be excited. I'm a leader of the community. I'm, this shows that I'm a respected member of the community. And like, this like really elevates me. And now like, I'm a face, you know, like, I'm a brand. And like, I'm in the community. And now, now, don't get me wrong. If GQ caught up and said, Hey, we want to have a party. We want you to be one of the hosts of it. I'd be like so psyched. But he kind of was acting like he's got a horse to be the hosts of parties, male and female. A host of a party means you walk around the party and say hello to people. That's what they hire hot people to do. You're not a member of the, like a esteemed member of the community because you're a whore hot enough to get paid to walk around with the drink in your cotton camo shirt. Get out of here. He's acting like he just got a spot on entertainment tonight or something. So then he started talking about how he's like, it's his brand. He's building his brand. But you know, and honestly, to be, to be honest, this scene when he took all his parents and told him bad and talked about building up his brand, I actually didn't mind that. I was like, fine. Yeah. Sure. I was like, I was like, you know, he got, he was invited to be a host of a party. That's pretty cool. He's excited. He calls parents. That's cool. And he's wanted to use it to build his brand as a trainer. Fine. Perfectly fine at that point. But then, so then there's this guy. What? What a prick this guy. And I want to say, when I say fuck his parents too, it's because he calls and he's like, Mom, I'm going to be the face of the neighborhood. I'm in the community. I'm going to do this party and his dad's like, that's good because you'll build your brand. And I was like, Oh my God, even the dads are telling their children, like that's your dad's life. Now to go build a brand. Fuck you two did. No, I didn't have a problem with that because, you know, as a trainer, anyone, anyone who's doing anything sort of like freelancing or whatever, you do have to build your brand. Just like we built the Crap-ins brand. I'm saying at this point, I'm like, okay with it. But here's where I start to get annoyed. So then there's this girl from Queens who is she's trying to make it. And she's going to take pictures for her website. And so Courtney is on on board. He'll he'll do photo. He'll do the photo shoot. And he's going to ask Noah to participate also. So Courtney goes to this shoe store with Noah and Joe and Noah and Joe are having like this big bromance. And but of course, it's like, I can't believe this is one of those shows. I'm really afraid it's going to become like Vanderpump Rules to me because this is how I reacted to Vanderpump Rules at first, which is that like, I hate this person. No, I hate this person. No, I hate this person. I hate them all. And they're like, I literally hate these people. I don't see anything redeeming about one of them. That's what I do. Remember the first episode of Vanderpump Rules? Do you remember how how much we just went in on them? We hated it. And now look, but either way. Oh, this is no Vanderpump Rules. I agree. Vanderpump Rules is its own special thing. But so they go to this shoe store and Courtney is once again being obnoxious to Joe. So I'm like, be nice to Joe, Courtney. But then he asks Noah to be beyond this thing. Actually, he had even called him before him, but he's asking again to be in this photo shoot. And Noah's like, well, the thing is, I'm building my brand and you know, it depends on the sponsorships and like, I can't be making them too nice. And I have to stop you because Courtney is like, so I wanted to ask you about doing the photo shoot for that poor person, young person. And he's like, well, Brian, the first thing I'd say is like, like, my first reaction would be, no, because I have a brand. I'm like, I would have to like, no, if my brand's in line with her, Brian's because like, it's a big deal now. Like, I'm not just a trainer now, I'm like, Brian, I'm a face. I'm in the community now. And then the other shallow Gogo boy guy who's also the other cocaine is like, yeah, man, like brands, like we have a brand. You know what I mean? Like, like you can't wear this brand with that brand because if you're in this magazine with that night, like you guys have no brands. What are you talking about? You're a party whore and you don't, you don't, your shirt isn't even brand. It's like old Navy. Shut up about your brand. Yeah. So that's where I got it. It's one thing. It's one thing to say earlier on to be like, okay, I'm going to build up my brand, but it's another to act as if your brand is something at this moment. And it's not like you can, you can be in a photo in the background with what Tina, whatever her face is, Tia Tequila. I don't remember what her name is, but she is like, you know, he's like, well, you know, my products and there's like, I have to make sure I don't want to have a conflict. It's like, what are you talking about? Okay, you were not a spokesperson for Nike. I literally said I have to align my brands. Oh, yeah, it's like you are like, I'm sorry, you probably have some shark tank nutrition bar. All right. And that's it. They'd be so happy to have your face on someone else's website for them. You know, and the thing is, I'm not, it's not even like dissing the profession, obviously, like be healthy workout, train people to do it. That's awesome. It's just the general fame horniness of these people. And it's in every, it's every religion. Sorry, religions. It's in every profession. Now, like everybody is like, this is my brand, my brand, my brand. You don't have a brand you sell by the hour and try and get likes on Instagram for business. Just like the rest of us. Shut up, bitch. I have, I have a slightly different view. I do think that people are can build a brand, but just because you can, and it is, it is important to build a brand, but doesn't mean that you have a brand with a capital be necessarily like you have to work towards it before you can really start saying that. Like, no one says my brand, my brand, no one, no one with an actual brand walks around talking about my brand and how to improve my brand. You're a douchebag. If you want to make a brand, obviously, that's what the world is. It's all brands, right? I get it. It's just the doucheiness of like, you're building your brand. No, you're not. You're a fucking fitness trainer, dude. Shut up. You don't even have any sponsorships. Get out of here. Well, thank God. The nice lesbian Holly pulled him aside at, at this GQ party. And it was like, listen, you know, like, it's just a photo. And she's like, really established. And she legitimately is. I did some background information checking on her. And she's like, for real, like a superstar in like, in like New York, like, spin circles. But like, he's like, I'm not. He's like, I respectfully disagree. And she, and she's like, it's just a photo. And he's like, he's like my brand, my brand. She's like, yeah, but fine. You can't say that. You can't say my brand. Just say, I don't think I can do it. You know, yeah. And she said, I helped him when he needed it so that he won't help her when she needs it as gross. And she's trying to tell him that and he's so on his own high horse. He's like, no, you know what? I respectfully disagree, but I wouldn't tell you how to run your business. And I wouldn't come into your business and start telling you how to do things and what decisions to make and what brands you're kind of aligned with. And she's like, dude, I'm just saying, if you take a picture for this, no one cares. Like, take the picture. No, man, I wouldn't tell you. It's not like you're taking a picture for like, the alcada website. All right, it's just another trainer. It's not going to like that. He would do because that's a legitimate brand, at least that people know this fucking shallow piece of shit. He'd be like, they're everywhere. Have you seen their social media? Shut up. I know it's ruining his brand that giant oversized teddy bear in his apartment. That's running his brand right there. Darling, nothing says sorry about your penis. Like veins that come out like fucking pipes. Get out of here. You look ridiculous. Read a book. The only other major controversy in this episode was once again, resurfacing of the argument from episode one, where Layla wants to know where Joe gets his money. And so this is an example of where now I'm on Joe's side because she is just like, I mean, like, you could just calm down, girl. Like, like, who cares where he gets his money from? Who cares? He's, you know, if it's shady, like, you know, that girl tried pole dancing and she's such a butter face. She made like 10% of what everybody else made. And to see a successful, beautiful, like legitimately beautiful person making that money when she couldn't, I'm sure she's jealous. But also he's disgusting too. I hate him. That guy, all he does is talk about his not even his brand, but what brands he's wearing and all the shit that he's bought with it. And he's like, Oh, what time is it? This watchers $50,000 on my shoes are 20,000, you know, like I'm all about scarves that are made out of ostrich skin and they're like more than 50,000. So he's obnoxious. So I was glad when she brought him down a peg. Yeah. Yeah, no, I mean, that's, that's the thing, you know, Bravo has a unique ability to put shows on the air, where you just can't tell from scene to scene who you hate the most. Like one scene, you hate this person most and you sort of like that person. The next scene, the person you sort of like, like, Oh, no, I hate them the most. And then someone else, you know, it just goes, it's like, it makes me a little more than the end. There's always someone I like or that I identify with in some weird way or feel bad for something. I mean, I have to kind of like them in a way too. And I just don't see it happening. I was so when I was calling off just a minute ago, I actually had a head rush, like a tingly head rush because I was yelling so much. And it felt amazing. And that makes me love this show because I love the anger. Oh, I haven't been that mad in a long time. It made me feel good. Good for you. Well, I like, I like Holly, I like Holly, the lesbian. I also also keep watching. I like Holly. I like that they're putting on a real lesbian because I feel like well, they put on Rosie, but that was kind of by accident. I feel like sometimes these shows give like the Hollywood version of a lesbian where it's like everyone's a lipstick lesbian, like everyone's really fashionable. And I like my Aunt Josie represented on TV, you know? Yeah, good. I like she's going after this hot young girl way too young for her. And she's like, yeah, I'm gonna have her do my pictures for me because I need to get laid too, right guys. And so she has this coffee date with the girl. And the girl's like, well, I have pictures on my website. She's like, Oh, yeah, tell me more about it because I've wanted to talk to you since I saw your Instagram because you're like an artist and we're right. You're an artist deep down. She's like, yeah, like I'm an artist. And she's totally acting like a really over trying guy at a bar or something. And then the young girl gets a text and she's like, Oh, that's from my boyfriend. And then the lesbian's like, Oh, fuck it. I didn't even ask her. She had a boyfriend. God, I'm an idiot. And then she just starts swiping through her phone and completely ignores the girl. She's like, back to Tinder. Back to Tinder. She is a man. That's a thing like a man. That's exactly what I'm saying. The manly is man on Bravo, darling. Welcome. Welcome to my life, lady. Yeah, I love her. So that's basically that was that was basically workout unless you have any other last I just I can't commit to anything. Listen to me. I hate this show. And now I'm like, I love her. I'm gonna watch it next week. Damn it. What happens, Ronnie? We're just gonna watch it. Let's just accept it. I'm I'm along for the ride. You know, we have, by the way, we in January, things are gonna get real crazy because we have workout. We have so in January 2nd, what's something starts in January 2nd or something? 2016, it's going to be so different in 2015. We have newlyweds the first year coming up. And then Tomak is coming up. So gosh, we need to we need to get our Patreon up so we can start doing our third episode. We have a lot of shows to cover now. I know. Yeah, go to Patreon because we start doing three a week. Well, we are not going to do three a week until we reach our goal. We have a goal on Patreon. I know that's a huge goal too. It's a big one. I don't know. All right, so let's move on. What do you want to do next? Well, you know, we went from Beverly Hills to New York and I think it's time to go six more hours to the east over to Cheshire. Cheshire. The real house walls. Cheshire. Cheshire. Oh, Cheshire. This show, I watched after we recorded our last podcast and we I think we talked for four something hours that day on the phone. I was like, I cannot take any more bravo, blah, blah, blah. And I wanted to eat something and I turned on Cheshire to watch like a cartoon. I've laughed so many times out loud at this show. I'm loving, loving, loving this show. It is hilarious. It is hilarious. They do need to get their stories like they do have to sort of maybe add a little oomph to the stories because really it's like every episode is nothing, nothing, nothing, truly nothing. It's like maybe a spa treatment at best. Maybe it's like getting into like going into a cryogenic freeze chamber and then like a polite argument in the last five minutes. Like I would like to build up. Although this week though, this week, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Fighting in the morning. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. There was some fighting. My biggest failure of the week is that I did not record McGolly going boom, big biggest failure. Why did I not record that? Instead, all the sound effects are out of control. They're out of control. So good. The only thing I've recorded is like Jetsons. Leanne, like a flying car. I say to her, "Leanne, stop flying your car." And she goes, "Leanne, Leanne, like clown, clown." The only sound I recorded this week, and I don't even remember the context of it. So I'll just play it now because I don't remember what happened in the show. This is the only thing I recorded. And I was for you to have so sad. I was like, I didn't even know what it was. Say it again. And I was for you to have so sad. And I was like, what did she say? I had to listen to it five times before I even understood what she was saying. That woman speaks in capture code. Yeah. And I was for you to have so sad. And it was. She goes, and it was rude what I said. But at first I was like, "Oh, thank you." Well, you got into the website. I'd still be outside like, "Damn it. I can't log in for another five minutes. I tried too many times." And I was like, "What? You've got so sad." Okay. So this episode starts with Tanya. She's like, "Oh, oh, oh, I'm a life coach." I'm sorry. I have to get these voices in my head. But she's gonna have a meeting between Leanne, the boring one, and Magale, the sound effect, because they've gotten a fight at her book launch. She's like, "I'm a life coach. So at least I could do this, make my life better." So don't be that hard. Leanne is wearing this body. She's wearing like a black long-sleeved bodysuit that goes up to her neck like a turtleneck. And then a Quaker dress over that to go have a fight with Magale, because she's mad that Magale didn't tell everybody that she's a stripper. Yeah. Oh my God. The end is Quaker to confront someone for not telling people that you used to be. "Table dance, sir. How could she do that? I'm gonna give a piece of my mom that one. She was gonna tell people she's gonna say it to my face over a cup of tea. She's gonna tell me out of the table dance, sir." This is the dumbest part I've ever seen. I mean, anything. I'm proud of my past. Why is she not gonna say what I did in the past? But no one even said anything. No one has ever even said a thing. This is so good. So they go to this restaurant and then they're waiting for Magale. Do you want to miss one? Well, no, but they go to the restaurant, but then we cut to before the restaurant though. They go to the restaurant and then it cuts to Don instead. Oh yeah, because every scene takes an hour in this show. Yeah, so while they're like getting ready at the restaurant, then we have Don and she's doing like a photo shoot with her children. And she's, I heard down, oh, she's getting into, oh, so their daughter Ashley wants to put on like a jumpsuit or whatever. And Don's like, "No, you can't put on me jumpsuit for it. Jeans and tea should only put Ashley. Ashley won't do this for Ashley." So, yes, we made all the non-dobby children who were all these blonde children. And then she's got Dobby kind of off to the side like, "Dob, yo moustadob." So we meet all the kids and she's trying to get them dressed for something. And she has like the blonde teenager on the phone all the time. He's like, "Mom!" The thing is you can't understand what Don and the and the daughter are saying to each other, the blonde, and they're like, "Oh, dad, it, it, it, erm, and I, this." Many times, "Oh, mom, of the emom, neuro, do a bit, tell her about the best." Oh, shut up, do a bit. And more in jumpsuit, you know, all right, I'll go, "What, what, what, my mum?" Dobby, could you translate, like, what, your sister's saying? "Go to your room, young lady." So then they finally all get dressed and they're like jeans and t-shirt and then they like assemble in the basement, like in the rec room to have a photo you're taking. Like on a couch, there's like a frame hanging, like not one of those, like, it's like a picture frame that's on the floor in the background. The most at least scenic group photo of all time. And then the older daughter swells her chewing gums, "Dot's war, you're chewing gums, Taylor." Dobby's like, "We're taking a picture for your father. If he loves his ladies, there's four children, I love children. I was dreamt of having them, ever since I was a little girl as a child, because my pa had 20 children, my pa was one to 20 children, and I was an only child. Just like always wanted to have my sisters, I want more children. It's up to me for one more children, or if the hysterectomy's gonna take the j- oh my god. All roads lead back to goddamn hysterectomy. Here we go again. And then she starts and so like, "Well, I can't look at these kids and think about her not having other children." Like, "Lady, you do not need to be dropping more children, okay? The hysterectomy or not, stop it. You've got four, you need to retire at some point." Just to say, "Who's to say I can't have more just because I got four, doesn't mean I have to stop. I want more of me children. I want more of me. Do you need to go out there?" It won't be any different. It won't be any different. Having a kid at this age, it'll just be cut of this. Yes, there is a difference, all right? Your other kids got like a new womb. This kid's about to get like an about to be demolished rental, okay? It's not the same thing, Tony. Dobby, I don't care what you say. I'm still gonna get another child out of this before the hysterectomy. For me, hysterectomy, I get another child, Dobby. I can't imagine a life where I'll throw a dinner party and then I won't have to worry about someone's base. Stop dropping children. Stop, you're littering. It makes me crazy. Stop littering your DNA all over the earth. We're already overcrowded enough. Gonna have a crème de la crème ball for another son. That's what it is. Just, I'm just gonna line up there and stir up so everyone's gonna put a turkey base to me till I get a boy. This episode is brought to you in part by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now. You're driving, cleaning, and even exercising. 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I was like, "Oh, no." No, I just said, "I tried." I tried. Because the accent I was waiting for the rest of the sentence. No, no, that's how Magali truncates her own senses. You know what? I tried. You know what, Magali? I tried. No. What? Is there a doorbell? No. That is me opening up a door of opportunity to say, "Fuck off, Lianne." Whoa. I'm really steaming now. Oh, no, no. Gretchen steaming. So this was so funny. So she comes in and Tanya's like, "All right, guys. Here we are, having looks together. Say you girls. You need a little makeup, do you?" Wait, even before that, when Magali shows up, and she's like, "Whoa, whoa, Tanya. Hello. Hello." And then she just looks at Lianne. She gives this look. It looks like she just is staring at like a bucket of spilled intestines. She's like, "Whoa." Just this nasty look at Lianne. It was amazing. And Lianne is terrified. I mean, she's getting nervous because Lianne just keeps going up against Magali with nothing. And it's so funny, like she has nothing on her. So it's like the third fight already. So she starts going, Lianne, Magali's like, "I'm just kidding about like." And Lianne's like, "Well, I hear you saying things so why don't you just say it then? Say it! Say it!" Because Lianne is all boring and soft-spoken, and then she just starts screaming. And then Magali, Magali has the funniest defense open over here. She's like, "I control more in your face if I want to. I control more." But I'm like, "Whoa, whoa." I tried to troll, but I said, "Whoa, Lianne." Then she don't point at me to say, "I don't say it because there's no point in me to say it." And so I don't say, "You can say? I could say? They could say? No one say? I'm no say." Then do it! No, I say no. "Why do you record it then?" She starts going off on her, and Magali goes, "Look at my eye. Look at my eye." And then she tells us, "I do not do this to people because if she do that, then she do that." And I believe if you have a glass house, do not throw a stripper on it, or break the roof, because glass break easy, crash, crash, crash, oh no, oh no! Clean, clean, mop, mop, mop, mop. She's like, "Whoa, Lianne, Lianne has stone, but I have brick, and when I have brick, I can make a wall, and she make a stove wall, and I make a brick wall." And I look at her walls and we go, "Whoa, two walls, the glass house." "Liven house with glass, Lianne, Liven house, made out of glass." And I look down, and I see her dancing on table, and I say, "No, no, no, no, no." I put blanket over the glass roof, so no one see. So there you go, tell me I'm a bad friend. You know, I could say things about the architectural integrity of the glass house, but no, I won't, because you have children. Well, I can't believe we didn't get the scene of Magali about to leave her lunch going, "I'm not going to this lunch!" And her husband going, "You should go to the lunch." Well, Magali always does things for the quote-unquote, "better good." She's like, "Do I want to go?" No, but do I want to be the bigger person? Yes. Is there a tuna fish sandwich that needs to be eat? Yes. I eat. I say, "Okay, Tuna, I do your favor, and then maybe one day you do me favor, okay?" Okay. "If Lianne yells at me, if she yells, I'm going to stick my finger in my inner face, and I'm going to say nothing. I'm just going to sit there quietly and listen." Actually, here's a direct quote from Magali at the lunch. This is what we alluded to before. Regarding Lianne, Magali says, direct quote, "She is so attacking. Bzzz, pow, bic." There was one where she made the sound effects of an entire Grand Theft Auto ad, and it was like helicopters coming, the police are arriving, someone just got shot, the ambulances have taken them away. She's so funny. Lianne, whoa. So, Lianne is not getting anything from Magali, because she's trying to make her say stripper, stripper, stripper, and Magali want to it. She's like, "No, there's no point. I'm not doing this to you." No. And so, Lianne goes, "Well, I heard you told everybody. I was table doctor." He's like, "No, look in my eye." I say, "No." I say Lianne, nothing. This is what I say, nothing Lianne. No, I'm not saying it. "I heard you said I used to do a dunkish and rip things out of my vagina. Make bing bong balls go in the cups. That's what I had." No, I never said this. Look in my eye. I heard you say, "I used to get blood drops in the booty." I never said this. Like, Jesus, Lianne, calm down. Lianne's like, too much war pride. All right. Yeah. Too much. And, my guys, I went, "Oh, you sure know you a stripper? Oh, you sure know. But I don't say it? I don't say it? Who cares?" So, you sweep. You and your table dancer, who cares? Everybody knows this. This is nothing. No. I don't say. She's like, "Whoa, Lianne." That's my McGowan impersonation. Whoa, Lianne. Lianne's all like, and I'm like, and I'm like, "Whoa, Lianne, whoa, Lianne." You know what? If Lianne is like, I'm gonna be like, "Oh, my God, I'm so brilliant." Lianne is so attacking. She's like, "Lianne, Lianne gets so intense, she's like, and I'm like, "Oh, my God." So, McGolly is basically the singer of the Crap and Spailbag. She is. I won my credit. You better not cross my, but not cross me. I'm the singer. I try to sing very hard. Oh, you better not cross McGolly. Oh, my God, so fucking good. So, next up is Lianne. Well, no, as I can say, as they're fighting, even though there's still some more stuff before Lianne. So then, McGolly, so it becomes this thing where like, McGolly starts trying to out non innocent Lianne. She's like, "I'm not innocent. I'm not innocent. I'm fair. I'm fair." And Lianne's like, "I'm not, whatever." So they're, and then all of a sudden, Antonio, by the way, as the life coach is just sitting there with her head in her hand. Great job. Great life coaching there. She's like, "What I'd suggest is putting more spaces in between the lines." Yeah. Like, "Okay, you stupid pamphlet writer. Be quiet over there." And then, and then McGolly starts pointing at Lianne. Lianne's like, "McGolly, you got to get your finger out of my face. Get your finger out of me face. I swear God, McGolly. I swear to God, McGolly." "You're pointing at me. You're pointing at me. Get your finger." She's like, "McGolly, I look like a crazy woman." And what you want to do about it? What you want to do about it? I make a point in my finger at whoever finger won a point. So my finger point, I say point finger point. And then my finger go, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Lianne." Whoa, Lianne. Whoa, Lianne's my finger. So then McGolly starts to cry. And McGolly's like, "You know, there are too many things, too many things in life, too much going on. I don't have time for this. I need to do all of my own things in my own life. It did matter more. I had better troubles to chop. Antonio's like, "All right. Well, glad that we worked it all out." And then Lianne's just sitting there giving her a look from hell. Lianne is still so mad, and McGolly's like, "As far as I'm concerned, it's over." Because I love how McGolly is like a fast, like, water under the bridge person. Like even her whole fight with Don, Don's like, "All right, McGolly, you can come to the creme de la creme ball." McGolly's like, "All right, issue over, issue over. Get back to chopping vegetables. Have you noticed that McGolly's always chopping vegetables?" She and her husband are always chopping vegetables in the kitchen. Because that's probably the only place I got a license to shoot. Let's do a scene in the bedroom. All can't get permit. Okay, kitchen. I say kitchen. You say kitchen. You chop. So, yeah. So, Tonya's happy. McGolly's happy. Lianne is pissed off still. She's like, all the talaons. She's going to say goodbye to mama, dada, mother, dada. I'm reading all these things I wrote, and I don't even understand them out. Mum rings five. Oh, yeah. I'm very close with mum and dad. Mum rings five times a day in Deadpool six. What? You talk to your parents eleven times a day, darling. Come on now. So, Lauren's big thing is that her husband has Paul. Paul, who listens to the podcast. Hello, Paul. Hello, Paul. So, Paul's a relationship slot to ins of a bookcase, Paul. So, Paul's fixated in Arizona, because the restaurants, a lot of restaurants, that's beautiful. Paul wants to go to Arizona. I'm like, oh, no. Poor Paul. No, no. It looks pretty, but you don't want to move there, Paul. No. Oh, Lauren knows already. This was hilarious, because she goes, Paul's in Arizona. Look at that restaurant. And her dad goes, and the girls. Lauren, the girls are everywhere. The girls are everywhere. And he's like, who like this kind of hippie guy's got long hair and tinted glasses. I love him. I love him too. And I love that he's openly hating on her husband and calling him a philanderer on that. Yeah, I mean, I don't know, national. What do you call it? Big TV. A lot of people watching. I like he's like, who wants to go to Arizona? What for? Like, exactly. The mum. Why would you go to Arizona, darling? It's a hundred and four degrees there. The desert people, desert people, they leave. Look at them, girl. You can turn on the news and see the desert people on camels trying to leave, darling. Why would you go there? There's a Z in the name. Why would you go someplace that has a Z? I've always been crazy more. You know that? I'm so Zane and I'm and I said, girl, miracles. Um, Lauren says, Afro-home in Hazana comes with a sewing kit. I was like, what? I think it's more like a ticket to Dave and Buster's. No, who in Arizona is known for their homes? This is what British people think or Australian people think. When we talk about their country, they're like, what are they smoking? Because this is hilarious. Like, she's like, she truly is imagining Arizona as like the fantasy land that Audrey dreams about in the little shop of horrors. You know, she's like a pony. Like, what do they call those things? Like the, not pony, the, uh, you know, those skirts, whatever. And Mark, the have things that make you bread toaster. It's a toaster. They have, they have an ice box that's power with, like, yesterday. It's called a refrigerator. It's so funny. As a vacuum cleaner, never home in Arizona. Shipped like a disc. This goes around by itself, taking the dirt off your carpets. I want to live somewhere that's green, like Arizona. Bad news, mom. There's no green in Arizona. Oh, no. That's what people are doing. So, uh, this turns into a conversation about a tattoo. Why? I don't know. She's, yeah, I don't know. They're talking about, I always get what I want. And I'm gonna get a new tattoo. Are you gonna pay for my tattoo? Momma died. You're gonna pay for my tattoo. Means like, no, but I'll be here to house you when Paul turns into an idiot. I was like, oh, husbands and dads, everyone needs one. I like how her dad looks like Billy Connolly, right? I think her dad looks like George Carlin with long, like when he had long hair, but he's like groomed and has glasses. He's super cool. I love her dad and I love her mom. I like her too. Lauren's really funny. She's my favorite. So then one of the ones I don't like that much is Ampeaker. Oh, Ampeaker isn't the worst. She's the worst funny. So the next scene is her with Mr. Bean, aka her ex-husband. Ma, ma, ma. We don't know if, I don't know if his name is Matt or Mark or Mac. Ma, ma. So, uh, about, about, cuz I did it. I said, but yeah, you look at that. Look at that. With thought, what, okay. Tindo's me, Mark. Look, Mark. Let's vote that something. He's like, "Hello, darling, Olivia." It's like this old, he's got like moves down to his stomach. He's got like old man ears, this cute adorable Norman Rockwell old man, smile, like this pasty, clunky little face. She's like, "Oh, look. I know he's still attracted to me that one, but after so, we were so passionate." I'm like, you were not. What were you doing sitting and spinning on his ears? Get out of here, passionate. I know everything about him, Matt. I know everything that a lot, I like every bottle of clover that you like to have in court, is it? I know everything, I know everything, what you want, what you like, because I know everything about you, Matt. I wanted to be rid of a husband, but then I was in a wheeler, I was not having a husband, it's like not having a right arm or a right leg. Like, what? I never, I never get my wet in, I never get my wet dressing my wetting day, except for the time when I got married to Matt and I had a white dress on the wetting day. It's bad enough losing a limb with that being left-handed, too? I think, I think I'll really be gutted when he finds a girl and I don't have the same relationship with Matt and I'm up. I really fell in love with Mac because they're celebrating their anniversary, even though they're divorced, which is so hilarious. So they're having their anniversary and he's just like a nice old guy and she's basically pelting him with drama, you know, and he says something like, oh, my love was all drama with, yeah, well, isn't it? A drama queen all day, a new drama every four minutes, what, and it's like, that's right, Mark, what are you doing? What are you saying, Mark? You want to start a fight right now? It's like, oh, I love you. That's so cute. And then she said, why don't you move on, Mark? I think you still love me, because you want to move on, Mark? And I say every year on anniversary, why won't you move on, Mark? And he says, I'm older. I mean, all it is is being bold and I'd sooner be bold and lonely than alone with someone who doesn't like me, which bulls me. I was like, oh, my God, could you please write a self-help book? I love you, Mac. He's like, also, I'm moving to Arizona. I'm looking for a woman you can sew. How many people could come from there and are just disappointed in the so the somen ship of Arizona? And they're looking under every like chair and sofa for the sewing kit. I thought I thought I thought I thought there'd be some neat thread here, but they never tell anybody. They never tell anybody back home because they don't want to look stupid. So it just continues. So the sewing machine has your sewing machine in Arizona, doll. Mom, I said things. Mom, it's been in round. She's like, I'm still still looking, trying to figure out how to sew with the gun that came with the house. Don't understand it. It's a strange looking sewing kit. It's the shape of a gun. Anyway. The sewing machine makes a lot of noise and it just buttels in the clothes, mom. I killed 10 people trying to sew a sweater the other day. I think I'm doing it wrong. Every time I turn the on button to the sewing machine, blow a hole through the sewing house. I still haven't been arrested. I know. I actually get a parade every time I do it, mom. They say good for you standing around. I'm like, I'm just trying to sew a shirt. Darling. Leanne, same day, same sad outfit, next note. She calls Dawn, her meanie, I guess. Yeah, her queen. She's like, Dawn, yeah, well, believe what I've been, I want to look at my gala. And Dawn's like, oh, really? That reminds me I'll never be able to have children if I get my instructor missile. Get my instructors getting something out. Well, then, yeah, Leanne just basically rehashes everything. And then Dawn is like, she's like, oh, I'm really not looking forward to the spa weekend with my golly and Leanne fighting. And then also my issue then, and Pika, it just does my trola in. It does my trola in. So good. It's hysterectomy. It's doing it my hysterectomy. I'm just worried that my caboose won't be able to drop my trola. Oh, I got really got out when I heard that they took out the trolley lines in Los Angeles back in the day. Mom, you mean hysterectomy? All me trolley lines. Now I can have a trolley back just because I have for just because I've got four street cars doesn't mean I want to have more. Can't have more. I want to have I want to have all sorts of street cars and mittrola lines. Leanne's version of the fight was so funny. She's like, I saw Makala. And she saw they get in real aggressive with me. Put my finger in my face and call a mare stripper. I was like, what? None of this ever happened. You crazy bitch. Well, Leanne did have the finger. I mean, McGolly had the finger out. Yeah, but she's making it sound like McGolly just came in and started attacking or like, what was sound effects? You fucking liar. I love it. I feel like, you know, I don't I'm not trying to get become like PC police, but I really do actually feel like there is an unspoken, very subtle racism that goes on because they always are like, McGolly's she's so aggressive. She's so aggressive. Like, I think you just scared of her because she's black. Well, McGolly is aggressive. But like she's not like, but they make her sound like she's like a savage. Okay. And she's like, McGolly, but she McGolly doesn't really yell that much. She doesn't yell more than Leanne. I mean, McGolly sure she can give an evil lie, but she's not more aggressive. She's about to eat you every time she talks. No, but not more than dogs. Not more than dawn, though. I'm sorry. Yeah, I don't I don't know about that. I do definitely agree that they're unfairly mean to her because in the beginning, they were which just four weeks ago, it feels like we've watched this for a decade. But in the beginning, she was, Leanne was saying, so they all know each other on this show and that they're all turning on her just for the show is really shady because she didn't even know what was coming or what the fuck they were talking about the first time. You know, she's like, whoa, what? What'd you say? I mean, and Leanne, this was, you know, Leanne started basically. I mean, Leanne got involved with doing it over and over and they're all lies. Like she hates McGolly for whatever reason. And we'll never know because on these shows, there are always these secret reasons that they never talk about on camera. And she's trying to make it that she's a hoe. And McGolly's like, that's not even what it was, bitch. Like you want to out yourself for being a hoe, fine. I'll still have a luggage of shit against you, idiot. Well, either way, Leanne may hate McGolly, but there's one thing that she does love pregnancy tus. I love the way I'm a stick. I love the way I'm addicted to pregnant cities. I can't get enough of them. I just weigh on them and weigh on them. Everyone thinks I'm crazy. Yeah, that's fucking crazy. It is so crazy. So they all go to this castle for spa weekend. And the reason why the pregnancy testing is because Tanya, she's feeling bloated and feeling a little stick and Tomiex and stuff like that. So Leanne's like pregnancy test. So they, so she's all excited to get pregnant pregnancy test. And but before that happens, all the women arrive at the castle. And ampeaker, she gets a room that she doesn't like. And my favorite part is that ampeaker, she just starts listing off things she likes. She goes, I love big beds, big bathrooms, huge pillows, or like a pillow menu, or like a duvet menu. I like a bed skit. I like a rug. I like a window and a door for walls and room sailing. That's what I like. This girl is jealous of everybody for everything. And I love that she vocalizes it because most people will try and get it out and behavior. And she just says right up front, she's like, it's not fair, is it? Lauren's got a room with the four puffs. She's got a bathroom. I'm very disappointed. No, no. I'm very disappointed. I'll never get my wedding dress and my four poster bed now. I'm all's got everything. A horse been to four poster. I'm like darling, a four poster and a Marriott get over yourself. And that's like the Marriott. Everybody's like, Oh, I've been to this hotel because this where I saw Leanne get married. I've been to this hotel. I got married here, say to Tanya, but she didn't come to my wedding. But she says she didn't get the Eva. But I specifically remember sending it to her pregnancy test. And then Tom fight. Obviously for the first time, Doba ever did a share with bed base. I mean, every single person has been to this hotel for everything. It's like the only Marriott in town. I know. So then there's the there's then there's the pregnancy test. And big news, Tanya was not pregnant. She just fat. It's even worse. She just fat. Tanya was so funny. She's like, I don't do it then. Yeah, just way on the stack. Just way on it. Just way on the stack. Addy, I'm your way after three children. It's like a sprinkler system. It's just no aiming. And then she's in the bathroom wing on the stick. And she goes, Oh, it's always going straight up me bum hole and then coming back down again. That's the name of her. That's the name of her next book. All this we is going up my bum hole and coming back down again. So funny. How do you get back? I got back a half. No, that's the best part about a pregnancy test. Sometimes I just pee on a memory board just to get that feeling. So an ampeaker. My next note is ampeaker still complaining about her room. I can't believe all this all the latest. It's like someone put a ball of cloth on my face and put me in a room and said, Hey, how's the ball? Like hello. Welcome to the castle. Oh, really? Not welcome that known for poster guy. If not. Where's my so then now it's dinner time. Where's my trolley to care of everyone's luggage? How can you've got a trolley to care of everyone's luggage? No, I haven't. You should be so lucky to have you trolley up in a bundle. At least you have a trolley. So they're getting ready to go into this big housewives dinner, which they've all watched these shows because they're copying the storylines and stuff. So to them, they're like, Oh, it's a dinner party put on your armor, which I love because it's only episode four. And it usually takes like two years for them to become truly terrified of a dinner party. So they're getting ready to go in and Don's sitting there on a couch with her assistant. Oh, I mean, oh, god, he has directed me on the books. Oh, I didn't want to talk about my hysterecta bit anymore. I'm sick of talking about it. His aunt Pika comes down. She's like, well, I didn't get a full poster. And yes, direct to me. She'll do in that you want more kids. And she starts like taunting her because she's mad. She goes from being jealous of someone's hotel room to being jealous that this woman's thinking of even having more kids than everybody else. The grade. So they start getting this fight. And she's like abusing Don for wanting to have another child. I was laughing so hard at this. I didn't actually think that MP Kerr was really like, I didn't think she was trying to make Don feel bad at them. And I think she was like, so what's going on with your hysterectomy? You know, and Don was the last time they spoke about it. It was the last time they spoke. The last time they spoke, they were fighting. Yes. Like why are you bringing it up on that trip? I don't think MP Kerr was really trying to make Don feel bad about, about, you know, not about wanting to have more kids when she already has four. I think she was just generally following up. And then Don took it to specific. I don't want to talk. Like, I don't want to talk about me sad things right now. Don't want to talk about me hysterectomy. We're not in my cap room. I don't have 20 catches in here for no raised men. I'm not comfortable talking about it. I'm not comfortable because there's not enough purple velvet in this room. All right. Well, MP Kerr's a bitch. And last week, she was going in on her. She's like, don't be greedy with your kids. So she was being a dick and then bringing it up. She's like trying to start another fight. And they're still in that mode of after fight with you for no reason. I don't even care if it's for no reason. We're kind of fight bitch. And Don's like, I don't do my scenes with you. Like, yeah, y'all, you're gonna do the same with that. We're gonna talk about something. I'm like, no, Don's not having it. So MP Kerr gets all pissed off. She's like, the queen, someone questions the queen. And then she gets all bad, but I'll question the queen. I'll ask the queen. Lots of questions. What's it all like? Do you ever vacuum your own ass into somebody else to fool your misclean? Or to have someone to vacuum our ass like the queen does. It must be special. What do you like more? Big pillars or small pillars? Like a duvet or like a duvet menu. I like both. I like both both of them. But I lost my room. Lauren. I'm sad from Peaker, but I'm up for mine. I feel like a more than half wet hours, ain't it? So luxurious. So they go into this dinner and everybody's giving each other the look. The look. The look. Well, first they start with. I learned, darling. What? Have you done loaded door this new single? It's called. I can't get the best line at my head. My girl is like, Oh, this lady. I look around. I say, fake, fake. All keys. All keys are in your case. All keys, keys, keys, keys. All artists. Stupid. I've turned everyone into party off. And then they sit down to dinner and in true McGolly fashion. She's like, they want to fight? I'll be quiet and watch them fight. God, when she did that, like Ben just totally did a touchdown in this house right now. Exactly. That's exactly what I did. She's like, they want to fight? I will be chum, chum, chum, chum, chum, chum, chum, chum, chum, chum. I fall. I fall. I fall. I fall. You want to poke at my room? I poke at you. You say that? I say this. You're something. I say no, mister. Okay. Okay. Be quiet. I'm quiet. I tried. I tried. I tried. Well, I would like to order champagne and whoa, whoa, they're also having champagne for the fifth time. Wait till these bitches hear about, I don't know vodka. Yeah. Come on, guys. So, so, um, Tanya is there, they're, they're having a laugh about the fact that Tanya thought she was pregnant. She's not. And then Don takes over and she's sort of saying, well, let me tell you about me time that I thought that I thought I was pregnant. So I was feeling a little sick. So I went to the closet and I looked on the first, first shelf of the closet, then the second shelf in the third shelf. And then you know what I found? I found me pregnancy tests. So then I unwrapped the pregnancy tests. And then I thought in the garbage and I, well, just the bad side to the upper garbage. And then Lauren's like, oh, God. Lauren's like, and I just love Lauren just sort of bashing Don about how she always takes over stories and makes them too long. And so, Don's going on. So Don's like, and then I took the pregnancy test and I put it under my vagina. And I started to wee on it. And Lauren goes, and you weren't pregnant under story. Got to the end. Yeah, what? Brock, Matt. The end. The end. And but Don just keeps on talking. He just keeps on talking and Lauren's like, all right. So that's the, you know, you have a way of keep, you just keep talking and talking. And Don's like, and then next thing I knew, I had to sit down on the toilet. And then Lauren's basically just tells her to shut up. And then cut to Don. And this is, Don says this once in episode, because that is so rude. That is so rude. Every single episode. She didn't, she didn't wipe her feet before coming into my castle. That is so rude. Sad. Rob. That is so rude. Gets me trolley. So good. It's trolley. And then she's, so this girl Lauren is really going off the whole time. Oh, yes. And then she goes, I'm then I was pregnant. I'm so sorry. You just talk so much. Just to seem that you're right, no. I thought you're one of those housewives miles on who just sits around and doesn't get pregnant, but so is everything. So then they all start having this. Oh, well, of course, he's excited and peeker. She's like, there you go. There's a dog that everyone's afraid of doing the note line. Lord told her. She told her I said, go go on behind you. It's like a pole stick cool, but dad hit the ball. And then I said, oh, no, ever bowl. Why does that stick in the ball? I'm like, Oh my God, don't turn this into another jealousy right here, dumb bitch. But she's like, oh, she's older. You go go. I love then that and peeker starts talking about, I guess she's talking about babies or whatever and someone said, well, ampeaker, like, you can still have a baby. Like, why are you always talking about this? And she's and she says she wants to do with the old fashion. I think she said she wants to deal fashion, but she says she says she doesn't want to like, she's like, when if when she hits 40, then she basically says when she hits 40, that's when she'll start exploring things like artificial insemination, which I thought many times you got to hit 40, girl. Oh, like a helmet like seriously, though, you're going to hit 40 like what 10 times and then start exploring, start exploring. But well, the funny thing, though, is I thought it was a relatively benign comment. And then Dawn is like, I can't believe she co-at me like that. Why should you have to bring up that? She's why should you have to be bring up being over 40 like that. I was like, done, it wasn't about you in the slightest way. She's talking about herself that she doesn't want to like, look into artificial insemination, but they're saying like they're going at her for having I mean, look, I'm no fan of Dawn. I think she's a total dick. And I think it's hilarious if they're going after her, but I don't think I'm totally going for her. No, I don't think I think that Dawn is just a narcissist and just assumed it's about her. I mean, Dawn's the one, first of all, who introduced it to this was Tonya's story. Tonya was talking about how she was, she thought she was pregnant and then Dawn interrupts. And she tells her story how she was pregnant. And then in Beaker's like, I'm basically saying I want to get pregnant too, but I'm not going to explore artificial insemination until I'm like closer to 40. And then Dawn's like, I can't believe she talked about that. Talk about that when she knows I'm over 40. Well, it gets really good when Lauren is just still hateful for zero reason. Like, I don't know why she's so mad, but I'm loving it. Loving it. She goes, Oh, thank you. She'd phrase your eggs. I'm afraid that we'll come out. I mean, why would you phrase a 45 year old egg that does anyway? It's like phrase and expired milk. She starts getting so mad and I'm like, Oh, can I do it into full water? And Lauren goes, this is not even made up. She goes, Oh, yeah. I have a frozen a pizza and had it come out good. That's the funniest part. It's obviously that that's an amazing line is that Tonya in the back and goes, yeah, yeah. She's like, let's have some Rosa pizza right now. That was yeah, I froze the pizza. I want to have Rosa Pete. So about meaning about again that frozen pizza. Donna's like, that is so rude. How could you talk about frozen pizza and farming me when she knows, feel well that I want to have a pizza I've installed. Hmm, about my stabs or with my children. About the children give the maids a reason to live. What are the maids going to do with another child? Derby is fat enough as it is. She doesn't need to know about frozen pizza. Okay. The only thing I love and love for my children and my couches, but you can't freeze a cage. I mean, I guess you could. All right. Ashley, I want a giant freezer to put the couches in. But when we want couches down the line, it might be too late to get new ones. I want to take them out of the freezer and defrost them. Make sure they're all purple or silver looking and all velvet. Maybe a gold one too, but they have definitely be purple ones. Derby, sit on the cart to make sure it's defrosted. Ashley, Ashley, we need the couches to look extra big to make Derby look less fat. No, Derby, you're fat. I'm telling you that because I love you. That is so rude, Derby. Derby, listen to me. Derby, it's not that I'm trying to make you feel bad. It's just that I love perfection. So what we're doing about the band this week, then? Yeah. I think we're selling these, isn't it? Yeah. What's the buy store, but? Perfection. I can't just talk to him. I just wish you'd have to tell him the instructions. Derby. What are you listening to? Dab. Oh, you're not so rude. So Don leaves crying because everybody's like confronting her about her frozen eggs. And then she runs out crying in the end. Wait, what do you want to say? No, I'm just going to say in typical sidekick fashion, and then it's like, at least now I'm talking about the thing I've told you all. My golly is like, my ovaries are like, whoa, my golly goes, what's wrong with her? No, my golly is like, like face first in like a chicken pot pie at the moment. She looks up, she's like, where'd Don go? Where'd Don go? I'm like, well, well, I'm laughing again just as hard. I laughed so hard when she said that she said she's so out of it. And then Tanya's like, we'll call it a life coach, you know? I'll call it an evening back. Those guys make up and now I don't even know why I'll just go on. Now I want a frozen pizza, only who needs a life coach now, am I right? But I want to make sure it's a French bread frozen pizza. That's my favorite. And ampeaker's last thought of the episode is, oh my god, I have a child, eh? I can't even understand what you said, which is exactly what you said. I don't even know if I got it right, because I was like, what? It got bought by a ball clover. Oh my you, you risk and send me to ball clover. It's still in the semination, still four years old. That's so sad. Never gonna have a white ball of clover anymore. And the last scene is Dawn, like fake crying in front of the mirror while she puts on makeup and Leanne's behind her gone. And then Dawn's like, they hold that max massage because I'm in the window. All my eggs wonky. I'm like, yes, your eggs are wonky. All right. Do something else. I'd rather watch. I'd rather you watch the horse run around in circles while that lady tries to tell you how many things she sorted out. Just do that. Yeah, by the way, when you said what Leanne was saying, you made this like little noise. You went first and then I just lost it. Cause I'm like, I imagine that's actually just what Leanne said. She's just. It sounds like I never hear her. I'm like, why is she even here? Is she only says things like, he want America, okay? She's like the small little voice before. I like being pregnant. I love pregnancy tests. I think I walked up pretty well for clear blue easy because I'm the best customer. Say it. And then she's screaming like a fancy. No, I want the reputation. I'm like, just say the reputation. You can't tell me like I say the reputation. Oh, so take off your clothes. So who care? You make money. You have job. I proud you. You proud? I proud. I have brick. I have brick. Boom boom boom. Dang dang dang dang. My god, I was like, you know what you are? You are what out of the bridge? That's what you are. I scuba. I scuba. I am bridge over trouble water. So I go. Water like, and I'm like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, on the bridge. Okay. Whoa. Whoa bridge. Do not frame Hanky on the bridge. Jones Pip on McGallie's bridge. Hanky. Whoa, Hanky. Whoa, Hanky. I tell Hanky. Wha, wha, wha. And he says, whoa, whoa, whoa. And I say, oh, no. Whoa, whoa, whoa. And Hanky is like, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. And I'm like, white, white, white, white, white, white. And I'm like, ugly and Hanky. She says, you'll be nice to Hanky. I say, maybe I'll be nice to Hanky. Maybe I'll be mean to Hanky. Maybe Hanky. I don't know Hanky. Whoa, Hanky. Hanky. Mark, Mark. OK, Hanky. Hanky, write a book. I write a book. Hanky, write a quack. I write a quack. It's like, whoa, Hanky. Whoa. I don't know why this Hanky had a problem with me. I only friend with Hanky. I friend with Hanky. First of all, I'm not going to Hanky bridge. Oh, honey, you should go to the Hanky bridge. No, I don't go. OK, I go. You know what? You don't life. The too much, too much going on for me to fight with Hanky anymore. OK, I say, I say, psh, psh. Done, done, clean. We are done. We're clean. What a underhanky. Speaking of being done, that'll do it. This was crazy long. And we love you if you're even still here. And if you're not here, we still love you anyway. What do you think about it? Love you. I love you. As I want to love you. You guys have a great one. We'll talk to you next week, which is Christmas week. Dun, dun, dun, dun. Ah, and the crappies are coming up. Everyone's to get excited for that. Oh, the crappies are coming in the new year. We love you everybody. Bye. If you like Watch what Crap is, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at Wondery.com/survey. I'm Lindsey Graham, host a Wondery show American Scandal. We bring to life some of the biggest controversies in US history, presidential lies, environmental disasters, corporate fraud. In our latest series, entrepreneur Lou Perlman becomes the mastermind behind two of the biggest pop groups in the world, the Backstreet Boys, and InSync. He also oversees a sprawling business empire that includes a charter jet company, restaurants, and real estate. But Perlman's successful facade crumbles after he sued by the boy bands for siphoning millions from them. 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