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For Hers.com/crapins, hers weight loss is not available everywhere. Compounded products are not FDA approved or verified for safety, effectiveness, or quality. Prescription required restrictions apply. Watch what crap is, watch what crap is, who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is. Hey everyone, welcome to Watch where Crapins, the podcast about all the crap on Bravo. We absolutely just love to talk about and joke about and sometimes sing about. I'm Ben Mandelker from bsetblog.com and the Bantar Blender podcast, and joining me as usual is my plucky sidekick, although you're not really sidekick, I meant co-hosts. I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was trying to follow a plucky up with sidekick. I really just, I really just demoted you in such a quiet, passive, aggressive way. If anything, I'm your sidekick. We're each other's sidekicks. We're like two outmoded phones from 2004. We're partners. We're those old queens on the Real Housewives of Shashok. I totally took a screenshot of that too. I'm going to put it up. Yeah, we just sit there and just nod. But anyway, the mystery man, the mystery. My mystery man sidekick, Ronnie Karen from trashshocktv.com. Well, hello everybody. Hi Ronnie. I feel very excited about this podcast because I feel like we're already in a little bit of a crazy space. We've already were chatting before. We started recording and it's just a, I just feel it. I feel in the podcast zone today. You do? I do. I'm so glad it's like such a week of huge content and I'm writing recaps again. So it's all day, it feels like from recap day to recap, I mean from podcast day to recap day to podcast day. By the end, I'm going to need a lovely nap, but it's really a bunch of crazy, crazy, funny shit that now I'm obsessing over. So I'm glad I have you to talk about it. Yeah. No, I am like, I am like awake. I am. I have my venti. I used coffee from Starbucks. Next to me, I have half a think thin bar waiting for me at some point and I ate a big salad today and I just, I'm like, I'm ready to embrace life and I love it. I have four flavors of nicotine vape, two batteries, a giant jug of water, a 30 ounce cup of coffee, and a good attitude. Good. Do this bean. All right. Well, let's, let's jump into it. So if this is your first time listening or you just feel inspired to up your experience with Watrow Crapins, feel free to follow us at watrowcrapins.com. You go there, all our social media is there, links to like Vine and oh, I was going to do a Vine. I forgot to post a Vine or did I do that Vine? I don't remember Vine, Twitter, Instagram, stuff like that. And of course, our Facebook page is really fantastic. We have a ton like over 5,000 people who are, who are on it and not all at once, but we super highly engaged. Tons of links, tons of photos and content. It's a really great way to buy the time in between podcasts. So facebook.com also really good with like a Bravo emergency happens. Yeah. You know, like the David and your Londa love when that happened. It's like, you know, it's just everybody comes on to mourn together guys. It's like meeting downtown and having a meeting together. Yeah, we have candle, candle at vigils on, on our Facebook page. But it really is true. I mean, people, you know, as soon as something happens, people post it on our Facebook page and then people start commenting. It's kind of amazing. And it happens on our Twitter too. In fact, on our on our previous episode, we were recording. We were live and and someone tweeted at us that about your Londa and David, we stopped the podcast. It was like Anderson Cooper breaking news. So we were live in Hollywood. This is David's fuck condo. Yes, fuck condo. Seriously. So and then of course, patreon.com forward slash Watch for crap. And that's a way where you can support the podcast, which we really appreciate really helps us a lot. You know, these episodes are getting longer and longer and we're putting in more more like, we're putting more attention to them. And so when you guys support us, it really, it makes us feel like it's not a pursuit in vain. So we really thank you. And you can go there, you get access to a bonus episode. We had a really funny one this week. I don't remember what we talked about Biggie's perfume. We did a whole bunch of Crapin's mailbag. And the other thing is you can do the Crapin's mailbag and we'll have a question. We can just start off the episode with the latest question from the Crapin's mailbag. Go for it, B.N. I forgot to bring up the music and I'm not going to do it again this this time. Okay, this one, the Crapin's mailbag is open and Emily Laird asks us which current or former housewife has either risen or fallen the most in your esteem during their tenure as a housewife, i.e. went from favorite to least favorite or vice versa. Happy holidays, love the show, Emily. Current? Current or former household or former? Easy for me. Who's yours? I mean, is she the resident of Shut Up Mountain? No, actually, no. I guess that would be more obvious. Mine was Brandi because, when Brandi came on that first night at game night with a broken leg and a ho outfit and then the girls were being really mean to her and Kim was being nasty and then both of them were slut-pigging her and then she was like, you, at least I'm not doing crystal meth in the bathroom all night, bitch. And then they slut-pigged her. I mean, I wanted her to be president. If she ran for president, I would have made her president that whole year. And then the second year kind of and then it turned and now she's fallen so low. Yeah, I mean, if you listen to the older episodes of Watch Her Crapins, we defended Brandi like crazy. We were, we just, we loved her, you know, and just for what you said, she was this, this woman who was rough around the edges but wasn't afraid to speak her mind and she called out people's bullshit and then the people were really nasty to her pretty much because they were, they thought she was pretty. We loved her and then she... Specifically Kyle, by the way. It was all specifically fucking Kyle. I mean, Kim was too, but you know, Kim would have yelled at Elmo if he had been sitting down. And so it's funny actually because I just alluded to Jill Zaren and I actually, I think that Brandi is a better example because Jill Zaren, you know, season one, season two of New York, I loved Jill Zaren. She was one of my absolute favorites and then she, she fell from grace. She became too wrapped up in fame and all this. But I still, I never hated Jill Zaren. People hate Jill Zaren. People hate her. I never hated her. I, you know, I got annoyed with her. But if you told me that Jill Zaren was coming back to housewives, I'd be like, yay, I'd be excited. But even if she was, even if she were annoying, like as, as Zaren's scale of hate and it has gone from zero to like, how, how big would that scale be? What's a hateful number? Anyway, it's like, you know, that number I, that's like, imaginary number. It's like, fuck you imaginary number, be a real one between X and I. And yeah, that's how I used to judge hate. But now I guess we've been talking about these idiots for so long and I'm writing about them for so long that I really love them and then hate them and then love them and then hate them. And generally, I learned to like them all. Like Jill Zaren over the years, when she tweets people and she's like, why don't you like me? Or she finds people's email addresses and she's like, why did you say that about me? Like, why would you post that? Why are you being mean? It's insecure, but I get that. So it kind of makes me like her because I see at the end, she just wants to be liked. I mean, she's doing it the wrong way. Exactly. That's the thing. It's like, it's frustrating because she was so great. For two years, she was just like, this warm Yenta, you know, that sure she got into people's business, sure she gossiped or whatever, but there was something so really likable and relatable about her. And it's just that she's just kind of like a scorned lover now. She's been like damaged by it. But I don't hate it. I mean, there are things, there are times where you just want to be like, shut up, Jill Zaren. But again, like I said, if you told me, if you told me she was coming back, I would be excited. If you told me brandy is coming back, I would not be excited because I think brandy went to like, she revealed herself to be a truly nasty person, like and like a liar and a lot of that's her stuff. And it was just lies. And then when they questioned her, like, why did you lie? And she said, well, it's TV and my job is to be entertaining. I don't like that. Yeah, I like Jill Zaren maybe was trying to pull up not maybe was trying to pull strings and make everything happen and control everything. But she was doing it because there were the real feelings there. It wasn't just makeup, you know, like the insecurities and all the stuff that even we hated at the end, that was all real. It wasn't just like she was making it up. That's actually that was Jill Zaren honking outside. Did you just like, I'm guessing about me. There she is again. I would say now to also address this question of we just talked about from favorite to least favorite or vice versa. I would say vice versa. An argument could be made for Ramona singer because in season one, she was really awful. And then we just sort of grow to like her. But I actually think the queen of going from least favorite to favorite. And she is still awful, but she's like lovably awful. But from least favorite to favorite, I think actually has to be Camille Grammar because Camille season one, Camille was so hated. She was hated by America. There was I seem to remember there was a cover of you of us magazine where it was like worst housewife of all time. It was like that most hated housewife people despised her. Yeah, you still haven't watched that real housewives original. I haven't had time to talk about that. They showed that and then they showed Kyle like, I felt so bad for her when that happened. It's like shut up. You're the one who was sitting there. Yeah, Camille was the most hated housewife. And then it was like she had such a turnaround by the end of season two. People actually loved Camille. I don't think anyone's ever done that. Camille did that. That was very orchestrated though because Camille and obviously it was good for her for orchestrating making people like her again. That's not an easy task. So I'm not dissing that it was orchestrated. But Camille is one of those rare people who listens to advice, I guess, because she was married to an actor and people tell them, you have to act this way. You can't say this in public. You can't do this or whatever. So when some friend ploy, I'm trying to think of a nice way to put it. But when Hagrid or Didi or someone is like, listen, Camille, you came off as really mean. And even if you're not, you're coming off as insecure and you're coming off as horrible. And she'll be like, okay, tell me what not to do. And they're like, don't talk. She's like, okay. And then she won. Like she literally won by not ever saying anything. Well, she not only didn't talk, but then she had like, she had that epic moment where she outed Taylor. What was it? She was out of Taylor at the tea party about the one who tells us he beat you. Yeah. Taylor, I don't remember the context of that. Taylor was mad at them. Taylor was mad. I think that they mentioned it, right? Having nervous breakdowns, like, and saying like, I know what it's like to feel bruised. Like she was saying things that were so close to the situation, but she just wouldn't say what it was. And everybody was trying to just not and go along with her. But it was like her fifth nervous breakdown of the season. And it was like episode five. And they were at that Lisa band-upon tea party, whatever it was for. She's like, look at all the different cuttered cookies. It wasn't like that. It really was. It is for dogs with cancer, AIDS, and dwarfism. But wasn't it also that wasn't Taylor. She was lashing out at them for saying something or alluding to something. And then Camille was like, you're the one who says this, not us. You're something like, I forgot what her famous quote was, because it's been like four years. But that wasn't at that. That Camille fine was like, I've had enough of this bullshit. Like, don't accuse us of being the ones when it was, it's been you who's been saying this. Yeah, she was having some weird thing. Oh, yeah. Because didn't they start talking about maybe he was a beaut? I don't know. I don't remember what it was. You know, this is why this is why our Facebook page is good. Our Facebook page is good because people are gonna come on and they're gonna leave comments. And so if you're if you're trying to remember also, or if it's frustrating you, that we are not saying it right, it's on our Facebook page. But here's the best part about Camille. Her lasting legacy in my mind is this moment. So how sad that we're gonna be celebrating somebody else's. Yeah, we're about the same day that we hear about our friends. So upsetting. I know. Still the way she just she just sort of relinquishes the sentence to Mauricio. Like she has this thought and she's like, it's so it's so sad how to hear on this day. And he's like, I'll hear I'll take it from here, Camille. And then she's like, okay, I'll just repeat what you say for sure. It's like that thought process of I'm talking to somebody kind of smart and I have nothing to say, but I'll move my mouth and make noise. And then when they leave, their impression is gonna be, I just had a conversation with Camille. Yeah. And Mauricio, you know, it's also part of it was Mauricio. He was kind of like, Oh, well, she's not. I mean, you know, listen, I'll take care of this. I'll take care of this thought. You're not going to be able to articulate it properly. You know, that happens. We're gonna be celebrating somebody else's. Yeah, one of the same day that we hear about friends. He's like, I'll just move this along, because you're not going to get to in the next 20 seconds today, Frazier. The gardener was outside leave, but yeah, because he was slowing the leaves leaves and then in a gust of fury, he was in a bag and then he got in the truck and drove away. Hey, Camille. Yeah, so fast. It's like, you know what it is? It's like she is. She's like in the store perusing like something, trying to decide what to buy and someone grabs her by the hand. It's like, we're getting this and just yanks her out of the store. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we'll get that. Well, maybe that's why she has so much shit because she just can't stop being sold. She's one of the like, I can't go into a car dealership car dealership, not trying by a lease or whatever. So I'm setting Camille. I like Camille. Well, now you're doing the Dobby. Because in my mind, they're mixed now. Well, I think it's Dobby every time I think of Camille. So Camille is the, yeah, well, Camille, you can hear her. She just repeats what you say. So if you're talking about this, talking about this. Yeah, but Dobby's just, if you don't know what Dobby is, Dobby is. Yeah, Dobby. I'll put a name yet to rehearse more with the go-bob, Dobby. So Dobby is Don's daughter on Real Housewives of Cheshire. And when we did our last one. So I recorded this sound of Dobby talking, talking back to her mother. I'm just, I just love perfection. I can't just talk to her. I can't just talk to her. That's all I want. So you're listening. I love, I love just that perfection. I love all three parts of that, that sound clip. I love that Don says, I love perfection. It's just a stupid thing to say. And then you hear that Dobby, and then Dobby's just going, and then, and then, and then, and then Don just gets so frustrated that she's like, Dobby, are you listening? Just wants to smack her. There was, there was actually another Dobby moment that I recorded. We're going totally out of order, but, but yeah, here's the Dobby, here's the Dobby sound clip from this week. So what we're doing about the band this week then? Yeah, I think we're selling these, isn't it? Yeah. Dobby, are you listening? Dobby. Dobby. Dobby. We're doing the bomb this week. So I'm setting. Okay, we've delayed it. So that's the Crapin's mailbag. Crapin's mailbag. Ask your own question. Just go to patreon.com/watchrollcrapins and write us one. Yeah. And, and, and by the way, there's like a whole bunch of Crapin's mailbag on this week's bonus episode. So if you liked what you just said, Dobby, have swab some spice. That was a fun one. Okay, I'm whipping out my notes. While you about your notes, let me tell everyone what they're in store for for today. We're going to talk about the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, you know, premiere. We're going to then talk about the Top Chef premiere. Ronnie and I were at that premiere of that event that was on the show. So we're going to tell you what we thought about the food and the chefs. And then we're going to talk about Real Housewives of Cheshire. And then we'll circle back for some below deck reunion part two. You don't understand, I don't have one. I'll never be happy. I'll never be lucky. I'm Pika. I'm Pika. You're on the triangle of Cheshire. I'm ever. But I'll never leave them. I'll be with them forever. I don't care what the books are. I don't care if you say I'm ruining my life. It's easier to say someone's ruining life than to ruin your own life. You know I'm mine. No, I'm Pika. I don't fucking know what you mean. Could you maybe try it a few more times? Get that batch. Okay. So let's start with all Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. No matter what city begins, that stupid Australian show is in my brain. I'm in through notes. I can't remember it. Melbourne is old. Oh god. What if Melbourne comes back at the same time we're watching Cheshire? I don't think we can even do that. I don't think we would run up speaking like a meal from below deck because I feel like I think if you combine Australian with Cheshire, you get South African. Yeah, we'd be like, we just jerked off six times today to get ready for this podcast. A question up from nervous, jerking on front now. All sex with women on this top bunk in Cheshire. Oh goodness. All right. So do you have your notes up or should I just I can just start talking? I have a 7,000 word recap. I actually didn't actually believe it or I didn't take a huge amount of notes for Beverly Hills. But so the episode begins at Villarosa where Hanky is looking healthy. And did you notice that they showed a shot? Okay, it's Villarosa and Hanky. They're all in the pond. All the small all three swans are in the pond. Hanky is by the door looking at the door waiting for someone to come be nice to him because that's his only friends are like the humans, you know? Well, Hanky is going through his own swan version of Vanderpump Rules. Like obviously, Hanky is Sheena season one and the other two swans are Horseface number one, Horseface number two. Swanface one and Swanface two. In my recap, I talked about them as the bitter waitress in the corner and they were. So they show Hanky waiting by the door and the pond just looking at the door and then they show the other two swans looking at each other off in the other corner of the pond. And I was like, this is so awesome that they're adding the swan drama into this show. I love the swan drama. Actually, you know who Hanky is? Hanky isn't even Sheena. Hanky is Danielle, the new waitress from season one who ended up hooking up with Jax and then Stasi went out of her way to create a whole whole smear campaign. I always talk like this. Yeah, she talked like that. I'm an actor. When you talk to my AA meeting with me, I was abused as a child and he's like, you want to go get some coke? But she had the yeah, but she had the best like moment of the entire of this entire season, which is what she told Jax like, I fucking got an STD for you. At least from you from you were for years. Either way, she called out the STD. That's what Hanky will remember that. Yeah, she was because I think that Jax is breaking up with her and she's like, she's like, fuck you. I'm going to be in We're the Millers and I got an STD from you. So fuck you. Everyone should know he sleeps. He does not use a condom. He's like this. Love it. Well, I'm loving the swan drama. It's so good. And it's so dark and deep. Like those other swans are so mean to poor Hanky, but then Hanky is so different. Like he's literally a different color. It's going to be a race war in that pond. Well, you know, the other one's one white. I'm like, what kind of racist shit storyline is this to be putting on Bravo? Not cool. Well, you know, those other swans are like pissed at Hanky because Hanky is the one who gets carried through the streets of West Hollywood by Lisa, whereas the other two get put in a cage probably and sent off to like pet smart for their checkups. They're going to start biting each other's neck so they can get attention from David. Well, one of the swans is going to like next season, one of the swans is going to get totally unhinged and accuse another swan of like cheating all the time. And that's going to turn out that that was the original swan who actually was the cheater. I think that it's going to end with Hanky being the one who finally goes crazy. Yeah, because like he's so talented, but he doesn't believe in himself enough. And then he's going to have this like person that he hates. And at the end, he's going to stab one of the black swans. But then it turns out he's been stabbing himself. Oh, I see what you did there. You like this? I'm excited for for the episode of Swander Pump Rules, where Hanky puts him, when Hanky just gets wasted and pours fireball down his throat. Lisa'll be like, he's still be like, this small girl tastes like cinnamon. I brought Hanky in to train everybody. Hanky knows how to do a shot properly. You know, it's amazing ever since we switched over to swans who don't have any hands. Our service ratings have actually improved. So thank you, Hanky. Okay, Hanky's going to teach you all how to make a Hank teeny now. Everyone listen up. That's from Hanky's rival swan restaurant that he opens right under her nose and he's like, I have a face. I gave him everything and then he betrayed me. I can't wait for Hanky to get a tattoo on his wing that says, it's all happening. And then Hanky comes out with his own like dance. Is it his dance song? And the two mean swans come out with a podcast call, it's all crap and just make fun of everything Hanky does. Okay, so anyway, the show is going to be 20 hours. I know we have literally not even gotten to the first line of dialogue. We're still in like the cutaway shots. So we see Hanky, we can't help it. We see that at some party, everyone has to dress like saloon people or something. I'm not sure what's going on there, but the show opens up with the villa rose gates opening. And it's Ken and Lisa. He looks like the penguin, like the 1930s version of the Batman penguin. And she looks like, I don't know, like an old Saloon madam whore from like a John Wade movie. And then they show that Catherine girl later and she's dressed. Look, if you're older, don't be doing things in older times. Do future parties. Don't do parties where I'm going to be like, what was a saloon like? Because you don't want to have to answer that. You don't know? I have no idea what you're talking about. Wait, who is it? So because you know how they have all these big theme parties, one of them has something to do with them. Oh, are you talking about like being costumes? Are you talking about coming up this season on Beverly Hills? Yes, but I'm only doing that because it opened with Lisa in that dress. Oh, okay. Say something because I was like, what are you an old madam? What else going on? Piano David, David's on the hunkie tongue piano. Everyone be quiet. David, want to grab me for this song? It is played in bars, but it is David's be quiet, Taylor. Drunkly. Drunk women are disgusting. What did she say? What did she say about drunk women? Yolanda? I don't. Oh, oh, from Lasher. She said, I don't remember. I remember she had a killer and she's like, Oh, there's nothing worse than a drunk woman. Yes. Yeah. Okay, to all who enter, be nice to hanky. Be nice. Okay, I'm skipping all the this season on because I can go for an hour on that show. Yeah. So the first scene is with the catcher from the Dodgers, Los Angeles Dodgers comes over to Villa Rosa to teach Lisa how to throw a ball because she's going to be throwing out the opening pitcher, Dr. Sidium on like LGBT night. Every first scene of every first housewives show ever, and you know how I remember history. So you guys correct me. Doesn't it always start with some kind of like narcissistic thing? Like, I'm pitching for the Today's Lisa Day. And then I remember the one where Bethany, the first episode of New York, she's like, yeah, I'm doing a new ship for for Pita. It's always something like that. Yeah. Someone doing something narcissistic for, you know, people with missing limbs or whatever it is. Yeah, it's always like some ridiculous, like slice of life that really no one no one really cares about. But it's just to show how great their lives are before they descend into the madness of the season. And this is for a gay baseball thing. What's that? What is gay baseball? I mean, it's just it just means like a day or something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like the it's like the gays go to Dodger Stadium. And by the way, this is gay people who look at baseball. Yeah, they yeah. They I I was just going to say that I think it's it seemed a little unnatural that the catcher of the Dodgers went to train Lisa how to throw ball. I mean, it wasn't there like some high school coach they could have sent the seem this did not seem like a realistic thing. I mean, is this what do all people throughout the ball get like a like a baseball star come over to teach them the ropes? Well, is he the gay spokesperson for it? Because in my mind, he was like, Hey, I'm a catcher. And I was like, Oh my god, here. Oh man, these has been darling two bottoms. Don't make a top darling. They'll be finding the pond together. Was is he gay? I'm not sure. I'm not saying you know, gay or anything like that. I just figured he was like the gay baseball guys. So they were like, all right, gay people. We need the gay baseball guy to go over to a real house wives house for a scene is Captain Lee is Captain Lee like working at Dodger Stadium now. Anybody in charge of rules is Captain Lee. Another boss comes on this show. He's like, cuz it's one, two, three strikes. You got to take it home out of the baseball stadium. That idiot Swan just crashed into the house. All right, Swan, here's your southwest ticket. Good luck. They don't even let's watch on there. I want home plate through that machine. So watch out, tuck them. I want home plate sweep right now. It's a job. That's what you do. And you just throw that ball a little harder. All right, a little girl. All right. Two strikes, you're out three strikes. Who came up with that one? That's ridiculous. If I let you get the three strikes, it's not only your problem. It's my problem. And now it's everybody's problem. You're out of two strikes, buddy. Meanwhile, Kate is the umpire strike one, strike two, strike three, you're out. It's not my problem that you keep throwing strikes. Maybe you should be a better baseball hitter. It's your job. That's what you would do. She just shamed them from behind the plate. And we would be like, didn't you love it? You do love being a baseball player? Because every time you come out here, you just swing over and over. If you want to do something different, maybe talk to you the ball. I can't ask you for dinner. I think Amy would actually be selling concessions. Popcorn. Anyone want popcorn? Popcorn? No. Okay, I'll come back with some cotton candy and cotton candy. I got cotton candy here now. There's a prize inside. It's like a big box of Amy. Just look inside and you're going to be surprised what you get where you go and starve me. Meanwhile, Rocky is like out in the bullpen, ironing sheets. They're trying to throw pitches. She's there with an ironing board. I'm ironing the gay baseball player swords. I mean, while people go, they're like, I'll be right back. I mean, go get a hot dog and they like go up to the concession stand. Like, I like a hot dog. Sorry, you only got beef cheeks here. Beef cheeks. Beef cheeks to say even nothing else. He wouldn't have the white red in the back, though. You know, feel free to grab yourself a roll. You stupid woman. Can we move this box out of the way? It's there's a big line here. No, box is important. Got to dehydrate it back here. Men get beef cheeks, but he just tells all the women to go fuck themselves, he words. Yeah. It's a man sport. What you doing here? All of yelled at women in concession stand lawns. I made them. Okay, so the first scene. Okay, so we're at baseball. Baseball with Lisa. Who cares, really? I love Rocio, though. The man be made. Love her. Yeah, she's great. So then the next thing is that Lisa Rinna, she's getting interviewed for her own for Oprah's channel for where are they now, which seemed a little weird to me because I think it's like she hasn't really disappeared from view. Like people know where Lisa Rinna is, and she's on a show where we see her life. So this was a sort of an odd choice for me. But Lisa Rinna is a personality celebrity. Like she's known, you know, she's famous because of her personality and going on talk shows, and that ain't a job. So you never know when you're going to get called again. You can be called five times a week and then never again, you know, you've got to always keep it fresh. She's like, yeah, no, she didn't. I'm still here for interviews. You know, I work. I work all the time. I don't know why I said, I don't know why I said, you're very new. All the talk about work. Ramona comes in your mind. I know. I actually had like, I was working on my Lisa Rinna impersonation beforehand, and it sounded great, but now it doesn't. Now it sounds like Ramona. Oh, well, I'll just abandon it for now. It's like, I'm going to be on Oprah. Where are they now? So that must be a question Oprah must ask herselfs every morning. Like Oprah, where are where am I now? Where are you really? What are you doing? So Lisa Rinna is getting interviewed about like her life, and she's just sort of doing herself deprecating thing. I'm like, I just want people to remember me, not for the, not for wearing a diaper. They're going to say, she wore a diaper. But, um, but you know, she's really endearing. I really love Lisa Rinna on this. I just can't believe how good she is on this show. Just in a likable way. Well, I like that she's so likable, and then she'll cut a bitch. We'll talk a little bit more about her later, because really went with her scenes. I don't have an impersonation of her, and I'm mostly just smiling and just wait for it to end so I can make fun of people. Yeah, really. All I ever look at my big mystery with Lisa Rinna is her wigs because she does this tricky thing with her wigs where she wears a big wig, but then she's like, but look, it's my regular hair style, just like my wig. You don't wear a wig. I mean, it's every scene I pause on it. And this scene, she opened up with her makeup getting done, and she had that queen holding her bangs back, so you could see a hairline. And I'm like, look, no one's calling you bald, all right, Rinna? It's nothing so defensive improving you at the hairline. And then the next scene, she's leaving, she's got a giant wig on. I'm like, lady, you're pissing me off now, right? I know. Which is your hair, the wig or the other hair? What is it? With her oversized hair? She has basically an oversized of every scene that she's in, because I'm looking to see what it is. I'm like, which is it today? And her wig really bobbles around a lot, which I sort of like it, you know? She's had that haircut for like 40 years, but she came out of the womb with that haircut. Momentarily it was like her closet by Paige Davis, but it's the least I've been there. Where is Paige Davis anyway, by the way? I don't know. She should be on one of these shows. Maybe she'll be on Real House as a Potomac. That's sort of like her level. Isn't that a river? That's only where I know that show. I just imagine a bunch of river people being like river people. We may own the biggest floating home, but that doesn't mean we don't know it. You make it sound like it's Appalachia or something. We may have the biggest black lung, but it still works. The Real Housewives of Piccolo, Kentucky. My banjo may be broken, but I can still cut a bitch with it. You can't call a house a log cabin unless it's made out of lofts. By the way, there was a promo for Real Housewives of Potomac that Bravo did, which was kind of funny. They were making a joke about the fact that it's such a random obscure location. Well, the Bravo announcer was like introducing the next name in the Real Housewives of the real Housewives of, wait, is this a typo? Potomac? And then it's like Potomac. And then it's like hashtag, where's Potomac? So it's sort of like they're acknowledging how obscure it is, which I know this may be me falling into the marketing, but it makes me kind of feel like if they're going to choose such a random location with no cache to it, then it just has to be a really good season. Is that faulty logic? And I think that there's something going on at Bravo meetings where they're like, listen, we make idiots famous who do nothing, but then they become like Julia Roberts in their mind and demand all this fucking money and all of this stuff and become fame horrors. And then we lose them. Let's go somewhere where no one will follow them. It's like Real Housewives of a cave somewhere. We're just going to be watching people, not even knowing they're on TV. It's just going to be Truman Showy, but like, you know, with fall gowns and terrible faces. Yeah, it's gonna be like Real Housewives of Desert Center next, you know, that like random town on the 10. Joshua Tree or something. Yeah, it's like this random, it's like, you see signs for like 20 minutes desert center, 10 miles away desert center, you're like, ooh desert center, you get there and there's like three RVs and a water fountain. It's an Oasis. So anyway, so then the next thing is that we go on to Eileen and she is in her dressing room on like a little like exercise bike going over her lines. And she's just talking about how she's she's been working for 20 years or 30 years and yeah, she's just talking about her role on the show. But for me, what was notable was now we'd seen a scene with Lisa Vanderpump, a scene with Lisa Rina, a scene with Eileen Davidson. And we've not seen Kyle. And Kyle is, you know, she's like, she's sort of royalty, bravo royalty, not like, you know, she's one of their one of the faces of bravo. And she has fallen now, she has fallen behind Lisa and the soap stars. Because Kyle's officially turned into Dana from fucking literally show. I mean, it's ridiculous, be quiet about your money, lady. Like that's all she has to talk about. She literally bought the crazy sunglasses, but we'll get to that. Yeah, we'll get to that in a sec. But I love that the way that they were putting all these scenes because it's the first one of the year, obviously. So they're just like reintroducing everybody. So to reintroduce Eileen, it was at the end of Rina scene and she's like, yeah, you know, I to work every day for that long, my longest job was three years, but to work every day for 90 years. Wow, that's, I mean, that's an accomplishment. And she was kind of saying it like good for her. Like I mean, it's amazing. But it was kind of like poor Eileen, you know, she just working because her husband's gambling. It's like that's some poker playing husband. She's like, can I please stop working? I would love to stop memorizing 20 pages a day of stupid shit. And you know, it was kind of a funny contrast because you have one woman who is doing whatever she can do to like any scraps you can get because she never knows when she's gonna work again. And it's like, you're like, Oh, that kind of sucks. Like she just has never been established like that. And then you look on the other end, you look at this one woman who all she has is this kind of like ball and chain of a soap career, you know, like, she's done her crappy sci-fi movie that was at the Burbank Film Festival at the mall across from fund records. But like at the end, all she has are soaps and she will never be anything more than that. And so you see, it's actually kind of like a really funny contrast of both sides of that perspective. If I mean, definitely, you know, the show is all about the glamorous women and they are. I mean, hell, they're all richer than us. You know, they are stars. It's not like they're not. But in the Hollywood scheme of things and the looking up at the Hollywood Hills scheme of things, they're really the blue collars. Yeah, you know, those two color actors being put in the middle of all these, you know, people who are rich for other reasons and stuff. So it's fun to watch. It's like watching girls with a job on the real housewives. You know, I love a housewife with the job. Yeah, always have. Yeah, no, I think it's great. I actually think it's a really fun look into the lives of two soap queens, you know, like it's, to me, it's like both hilarious and yet it makes me respect them. You know, it's like you want to like laugh at them in a certain way, but then you also really want to admire it. You actually more want to admire them after that instinct of laughing at these ridiculous lines that they have to recite or the things that like the diaper commercials that Lisa Rinna has to take, you know, yep. And I love anybody with a job, and I respect anybody with a job because that shit is hard. She's right. I was with her when she said going to work every day that many hours a week. Like that's rough. And I was like, yes, we have a hard time doing this podcast. And that's like only, you know, it's like five hours every other day. Like, I was thinking about how many hours a week you actually walk the dog. And I was like, God, this could be a job. I could be making money from this. You're ruining my Wells Fargo account, Bula. So anyway, we speak, right? Yeah, well, there was, yeah. So then speaking of women with career women with jobs and responsibilities, we then have Yolanda, who's ailing in a condo. And so she's now living in a condo somewhere. Well, first we have Kyle and her sunglasses. Oh, is that? Yeah, I came before Yolie. She kind of, oh, yeah, you're right, because it was intercut. I'm sorry. So everybody opens up their business if they've got one, but she opens up her business by a lean tour with her forever, not 21 anymore. Yeah. And she's in there with some sales being who's like, these spots were made by like, they're made for the Queen of England, the Queen of France or whatever. And kind of like, really? Wow. And then she's moving. She's holding these $75,000 sunglasses, which look like basically two translucent coasters on her eyeballs. They look like regular fucking gas door aviators, you guys are $10. Go get some. Yeah, you can sit on them, break them and go get some old. Yeah. So she's kind of tilting them to the camera going, Oh, ah, and I thought, why is she staring at these? And then I'm realizing she's showing off her gold Rolex or giant diamond rings, these sunglasses and a store of Morrie Botter. Shut up, Kyle. Like no one fucking cares. Money is not a personality. Go get one, read a book, get a job, get a fucking hobby lady, learn to sew. I don't care what it is, but you need to do something because I'm sick of you spending Morrie's money and then acting like that's 75,000. You know, the amount of shit that Dana got on her first season when she spent $25,000 on a pair of sunglasses is nothing compared to 75,000 percent glasses. It's the biggest bullshit ever. And I guess you could say, Oh, it's like, because it's basically like getting like jewelry, essentially jewelry with some lenses, but I'm sorry. That is the biggest bullshit. It's not with Dana. It wasn't even the amount of money. It was that she is just meeting all these people and she's like, look at my sunglasses. 25,000. 25,000. Yeah, 25,000. Like she and that's how Kyle is being happens to be with sunglasses, but she's like, yeah, man, we're going to go around Europe and then we're going to, you know, I slept with a Bentley and Kyle Jesus, we get it. You're rich. Shut up. No one cares. It's not about being jealous of being rich. Like, I don't need you to hear about it. Learn board games. Go to Ben's game night. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. Come to game night, Kyle. I bought a game night last night. Um, yeah, no, I, Kyle is the, the, the sunglass thing. It was just too, it's, it's too much. It's way too much. And I agree with you. She is getting a little too Beverly Hillsy. She's, you know, she used to do these commercials for Target. Okay. And now she's, you know, and then she tries to pawn it off on Mauricio later. He's like, well, Mauricio is like, you know, he's a, he's a luxury lover. He's a luxury lover. He doesn't want to love luxury, but he just does. I'm like, well, everyone loves luxury. Who doesn't like luxury? Monks, maybe. My husband hates luxury. Wow. He really hates being treated well. Yeah, that's a it's a, it's a stupid way to frame it as if it's like he just, he yells from this. Oh, he just has this like ridiculous hobby. He just loves luxury. He's always on all the luxury forums. Yeah. Who doesn't dump that? But also my anger is disproportionate to the situation because I watched that. Real house was uncensored. And Ben, they show what that night with Kim was really like and that whole thing with Kim. The audition videos is Kim saying, well, Kyle's always thinking I'm drunk. You know, she goes on this whole thing. And then it turns into Kyle basically trying to out her at that thing. And Kim's trying to run away from her and she's chasing her through the hallways and Kim's like trapped in a hotel. Kyle is the devil incarnate. Anything I've ever forgiven with Kyle and learned to get over. Reignited, bitch. Reignited. It's on Kyle. We knew it was going to happen. So anyway, so well, so, so Kyle and Lisa Vanderpump are chatting. They always have like a lunch at the beginning of the season. And they're just like chatting about stuff. So I think they get to, should they start talking about Yolanda or I don't know what it is, but we do get to Yolanda. And Yolanda, right now, yeah, we move over. So this, yeah, exactly. It starts to make you feel sick and you're like, okay, you know, who else feels sick? I wrote, you know, who should be blowing 75 grand at their husband's cash. Yolanda. Okay. And then it comes to Yolanda with frowny face on the couch. Yeah, her white clothes, like one of those people from the leftovers who change smokes and like won't speak and wants the end of the world. Do you ever watch that show? I don't, but I'm amazing. So she's, she's in there in this condo. And she's like, well, you know, you know, with all the illness and stuff, you know, it's just too much to be in a mansion. Like that's, you know, I don't need a mansion. I just need to be in a condo. I'm like, bitch, no, you're separated from David. All right. You, we know this now. We were in the condo and everything was normal. And then I disappeared and I arrived in this place. I don't understand what is happening. Yolanda is the leftover. This is all Yolanda's leftovers. Like David has just left the earth and Yolanda never will understand why. And Damon Lindeloff, Damon Lindeloff sure is how I'm going to tell her. He's going to be like, huh, the storyline ends. And you never know where David went. Yeah, she's in there. She's yelling. She has like an IV in her, in her, in her arm. And she's talking about all the treatments that she's had. She went to the Bahamas and got stem cell, this and that. And she's just, you know, you know, when Yolanda first said she had Lyme disease a few years ago, you know what, you know, I felt bad for her because no one wants Lyme disease. It's Lyme disease sucks, you know, and then she started doing this now. So it would become excessive. It's like, okay, she needs to see. All right. All right. Now this is milking it. I'm sorry. This is over the top. I actually went to the CDC website and I looked up what the symptoms of Lyme disease are. Okay, these are these are the later signs and symptoms days to months after a tick bite. There's headaches and nextiveness. There's some rashes. You get some arthritis. This is all pretty sometimes you'll get like a facial or bells palsy. You'll get you'll get joint pain, a regular heart heartbeat, dizziness or shortness of breath. Okay, information of the brain and spinal cord nerve pain, shooting pains, problems of short term memory. You, but you don't get according to the CDC website, you don't get like coughing and like this, like this perpetual illness. But I just, I just feel like, well, I mean, you have white and now my throat hurts. Time you alarm. It just seems like she's talking about, oh, I have the sickness on the inside. I'm not a doctor. I'm not going to try to act like I'm even going to try to like diagnose or clear up what you're because you're looking at Lyme. Okay, so Lyme disease is one thing. And yes, I said it without an S everybody. Are you happy? I finally learned how to say it. And I'm mad at myself. So Lyme is a real thing, obviously, with those symptoms. It can paralyze you. You can have moments where it'll put you on the ground. It's not good. But the ish is chronic Lyme. So if you get limes, you your doctor knows they treat you with antibiotics, blah, blah, blah. Chronic Lyme, that's different. That's where they have a ton of different diseases. Did you see that chart that they put up? One of the first screenshots is Yolanda's medicine chart and her illness chart. It is disturbing as hell. It's all these posts. It's like a hundred posted notes. I'm not even did you see it? I miss that. I must have been like, oh my god, it's amazing. So Ben, let me let me I've got to pull it up. It's amazing. So it's a chart of all of her medicines and stuff that she's taking. It's a hundred things. I mean, every day there's 20 to 30 things that she's taking and no wonder why she's sick. Yes, her liver hurts her. She's getting all puffy. I mean, girl, that's like ingesting a GMC every day. That shouldn't go for you. It's like you ever see that movie safe with Julianne Moore? Yes. That's what she's doing to herself where she's become convinced that she this and so she's going to these more and more outrageous treatments that are probably starting to poison her more than originally it was. I don't doubt that she had Lyme disease. But what I feel like though, this is above and beyond. Now, of course, she did have that Instagram posts not too recent. I'm not too long ago where it was like, it turns out this was all being caused by leaky boobs, right? Leaky boob job? Yeah, but that's so no big because she's still holding on to the the Lyme too. She didn't cure of that. I mean, she's still on that path even after the implant was removed. Yeah, I think something is fishy about all this now. I am now officially. I feel like this is above and beyond. I don't know. Something seems strange. So you know that I called that forever said on that forever. So I've always thought that. So now where I'm at with it is like obviously it's a lie at this point. So a couple things. First of all, she's friends with Muhammad, which is how Lisa knows her, right? What kind of permission switch went off when they were like turn on Yolanda? Because to me, it's fishy that they all turn on her. So the world has basically turned on her. The first episode airs where she's basically called the liar and then David leaves the same day of the. I mean, I know he didn't leave the same day of the premiere, but that they announced it that way. It's like a victim casserole for Yolanda. You know, it's like a request for casseroles, basically. And so why is it all timed this way? And why is Lisa now allowed to question it in a way that she never would have to protect Muhammad and all of them? It makes me think that the whole family is like, Yolanda needs to stop. She's probably making the entire family crazy. And they're like, so fucking turn the switch on her, then it's almost like what the godfather turned the switch. And now everybody on the show is finally allowed to call her a liar. It's that to me is very fishy. Well, beyond the actual illness, she's obviously so depressed and sad. Yeah, that's what it is. I mean, this is, you know, I mean, again, I'm not a professional in any way of any in any field. But you know, I mean, she probably she probably is very sad. They're obviously are issues in the marriage. They just announced a divorce. I wouldn't be surprised if somehow this was a manifestation of dealing with some sort of emotional distress. That would make more sense to me. And that I would not be grudge her for. But I think she's faking it for the attempt. I mean, I think that's the kind of person who marries people that can't give her any kind of love. Like you marry David, how many times has that guy been married a zillion? Yeah. You marry some rich dude, you're basically in servitude for him to just do anything to make him happy. He can't connect you on an emotional level because he's a fucking narcissist. Anybody who's seen him for five minutes knows that. So you can't get anything emotional from that weirdo. So what the hell are you doing? It's like you're in these situations where you can't get love, but then you're acting out to get love in ways that's like destroying it. Well, now she's being so over so sad. And it all comes from like depression and meeting relationships is fucked up, man. Yeah. Well, well, the good news is that I'm finding it very entertaining because it is being presented to us as entertainment. So I'm sitting there watching this. She's now gotten so over the top. And she's so over the top with everything. Now she's sitting there and her friend comes there. Her friend comes over and she's like, oh, my dear friend, Cody Simpson's mother, she's come to visit me. Like, oh, I'm so glad that you could make it through to come here to see me before I pass. I'm like, she's not too sick. She's not too sick to, to not name drop once again. Oh, you know, Cody Simpson and Gigi, they once were dating, but they have now transitioned on to other people. But with Cody Simpson's mother. It is right to meet a mother who has children as hot as mine. We are friends of matching hot babies. So welcome Cody's mother to the show. And she's like, oh, hello there. I'm real excited to have some positive energy with you. I feel real bad about sitting here talking to you about your illness because you already know about all the cool things. You probably read them all on the internet. I'm like, you're a dumb bitch. You are just like her, and I cannot believe you're not on the show now because she's the one who got deported and can't be on the show. Wait, Cody Simpson's mom? Yes, this was supposed to be reported. Yes. So this was supposed to be her entourage or her entrance onto the show. And the fourth thing is stuck with fucking Yolanda. Like, better come to housewives. Look, I have 20 matching jaws full of medical supplies. Would you like one? Thanks for having me. Oh my god. Oh, why don't she get deported, dragged along to her first group scene with Yolanda and want to pretend to pop and then get dragged away? That poor woman. I'm sorry. You know what she should have done is she should have done what Lydia did. Members, when Lydia was on Real House House of Orange County, the first big dinner that they had at the like the construction side of cut fitness, she arrived with Alexis Bellino and then Tamara and Alexis got on that huge fight where Tamara just screamed at Alexis and finally Alexis left and Lydia's like, I think I'm gonna stay. That's what Cody Simpson's mom should have done, whatever her name is. You do though, but she doesn't want to look like she's being a bad friend to a sick person. But man, her face and the car on the way home from that party, she was like, all right, bitch, I'm done with you now. Do you understand me? I'm dropping you. Cody's in front of you from Facebook will tell you that much. Forget Cody's InstaLikes. I'll tell you that, bitch. Well, isn't it the worst? Have you ever been dragged to a party? Not drag, but you like your friend takes you to like a party that's gonna be super cool and you're like so excited to be there and your friend's like, I think we should go and you're like, I want to stay, but you know you can't stay. Oh, I hate that. No, I never get dragged to good places by my friends. I've been dragged to like rodeos or I'm trying to think of places my friends dragged me to. Never anywhere that I want to stay and they don't. There have been times I've been like at a party. I'm like, I want to stay because they're like famous people here. So not that I really get to go to famous people parties. Every now and then you get to go. One more quick thing before we move on from the scene. So she literally has a medical supply office and there were not exaggerating. It's nuts. So she's saying, oh, I was telling you about the chart of all the medicines. That was crazy. But there's another chart. By the way, these are on poster boards with sticky notes like a Shannon B. door thing. Okay. So she has another poster board and this one's not medicines. It's all the diseases that she has that are associated with. Now it's not chronic lime. It's neuro neurological lime, which is she's changed it. So I'm not sure what that's about now. It's like a braiding lime, whatever. So it's all of these diseases that are that she's that she has symptoms of that are part of limes. If that makes or lime, if that makes any sense, then it is crazy. It's an entire poster board full of diseases. You do not have all of those diseases. You're obsessed. She becomes a little bit more convinced. I mean, this is crazy. She's literally losing your mind from her white jeans. I'm telling you, it's like sweaty thigh bacteria creeping in somehow from those fucking white jeans. Go do you not have? No, they don't have an old Navy in Malibu. But come to LA and go to old Navy. David's fuck pad. Oh, yeah. David's bachelor fuck pad. Oh, you'll wonder. This is so sad. All right. Let's talk about something. So well, okay. So then we go back to Lisa and Kyle. And the what I loved is Lisa Vanderpump's fake sympathy. And she's Lisa's like, well, you know, I don't really care much for you, Londo. You know, she was just she was so rude to my husband, but I have to let that go. She she's not well. So I'm, you know, I'm not, I'm going to let go of the fact that she was so rude. I'm letting go of how rude she was to my husband. One of my favorite things that I've done recently is letting go of how rude she was. I'm so glad I've moved on from how rude Yolanda was. Staff were having a meeting. I brought Yolanda Foster in to teach us to be rude to people. Right. We're going to my feelings. Go wait while I cry in the dining room and wait for my husband to recover. And then you can come back in and say hello nicely. I, you know, I'm so glad that I've moved on. So now we can turn this negative moment to a positive thing here. Staff are Vanderpump rules. Come learn what rudeness is. And then you can learn not to be that way. Oh, we've really turned that turned that around now. Yeah, she is definitely listing the people who have hurt her in the past. And she's sitting with Kyle. So that makes it hilarious because Kyle's like the worst and Kyle's been behind most of it. Yeah. So she's sitting with Kyle, who's bragging about her sunglasses again, and he's like, Oh, darling mind, we're 500,000. Yeah, it's not for pink ones. We love it. Yeah, I love it right down. And then and then so then it costs her talking about how she's like in development on a scripted show about her, her childhood and but that Kathy Hilton has some concerns about that. I'm like, Kathy Hilton, Kathy, you have concern about a scripted show. Your daughter's getting blowjobs on the internet for crying out loud. Like, this is going to be the least embarrassing thing that happens to your family. Hmm. No one's even said anything to me at night. I do feel kind of bad because who sells a show and then their family doesn't say congratulations on selling a show. It's TV land. It's not like there's going to be any deep dark secrets in that. Yeah, you know, it's always going to be at work. The Kim character is always going to be at work at Walmart or something. They'll change it. You know, Kyle will make her life even worse. She'll be like, not a child star at all. Kyle will be the star in this one. Well, actually, by the way, please make Kathy Hilton the fat character. Just make her a fat sister. I don't care just to see her get mad at Christmas time. So then there's more like blah, blah, blah, and then talk about Kim and my phone darling. Look at it. I texted Yolanda and I said, Yolanda, can I come to your home with cameras? And she said, no, but you know, maybe she really does feel sick today. I don't know. I'm trying to be a friend to Yolanda, even though she betrayed me and hurt Ken. And it was rude after Ken was rude to her. So, then I love that there was when they started talking about Kim, that Bravo made like a Kim wasted montage. Those were my favorite montages. I know we shouldn't laugh at her being a addict, but it was like, I have a baby next year. Oh, yeah, she's hitting a shoe to her hand. Yeah. It's like, all right, I have a bed. Okay, Kim. And then they do really unfair stuff. Like they mixed stuff in that weren't dramatic drug scenes like Kim just going, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop. Dancing or raising her arms are like, Oh, there she is a drunk person. Then it comes to her like, I'm like, is this a comedy montage or mean montage? Yeah, make up your minds because this is rude. It's rude and amazing. I want to make a prediction here. I think at the end, Lisa is going to end up kind of helping Yolanda. This is a stretch. No, I think that, no. I mean, Lisa, again, in the end of the season, because Yolanda is going to get so beat down that she's going to feel bad for her, Lisa loves a broken hope. Yeah, that's true. Always loved it. She loves being a guard in general. If she doesn't think that Yolanda is truly broken, though, she's not going to like that. Well, if she's faking an illness to the point that she is to get attention, she's bitches broken, like Lisa will fix her in a way because I think she knows her as kind of a ho from from Muhammad's house. Probably. The rumor is that Yolanda was like a yacht girl or whatever. La la, darling. And so she found her her rich man and has just been passed down from rich man, and rich man at dinner parties ever since. So I think Lisa has always, Lisa will always feel for someone who works, you know. I think she probably sees her as like Muhammad's help, who made it big and is now being crumbled. And at the end, she'll be like, Yolanda, please sit next to me on the couch. Well, either way, the big news is that Lisa Rinna is having birthday parties. So she calls up Yolanda and invites her and and Yolanda's like, oh, well, my love David is in Seattle, but Cody Simpson's mom will join my good friend, Mrs. Cody Simpson. And then and then after that, Yolanda has the moment where it's like just just bust out a violinist. Like there should just be a violinist in the opening credits, the show. She's like, if it weren't for my kids, I would have jumped off the balcony already. Jesus, I wouldn't have been a balcony. It would have been that like cliff over the PCH. No one needs some models splattering all over the PCH. All right, get out of here. The little mermaid towel seller comes to clean her up. Finally, the moment I've been waiting for, towels, employing the towels coming handy. I bought them for me. Yeah, David's like, I'm glad I didn't make you clean it, clean up your towel service. Good job, buddy. So Yolanda starts explaining her stuff again. And it's just talking about, oh, I have to weak legs, no brain function. I haven't driven a car in three years. Was there ever any evidence that there was brain function before the Lyme disease? You're a model. No one expects that for me. I haven't driven a car in three years. They just showed the entire last season and you were driving the car last season just fine. So please watch your own show before you start making shit up on TV. I know, no, I'm talking about bumper car. I love bumper cars. And now I can't do it. I just every time the Lyme disease has ruined me so much that when I drive bumper cars, I just don't hit anyone. It doesn't have fun anymore. Bumper cars took, Lyme disease took away my neck ring. It has ruined bumper cars. I feel no pain now. What is the point? All I do, when I do bumper car, I just drive around the periphery and I avoid everyone. It's just no more joy in it. Lyme has taken my life at bumper cars for me. At one point, she says, I would do anything to feel normal. I would rip out, I rip out my teeth to feel normal. Whoa, okay. Now you don't have to literally turn into bricks. Well, that should be like, now that my Lyme disease is cured, I just can't happen to wonder what it would be like to have teeth again. I would take Lyme disease again, just to have my teeth again. I just told myself about balcony, life of tension. It tells us Lyme disease is less painful than toothlessness. You ever tried to eat an almond with no tooth? We didn't talk about the daughter Gigi calling on FaceTime eating something. Oh, what a bitch. That is so rude to do to your mother. You know your mother doesn't approve of you eating. You know she's sick. She's like, hey, man. That's so cool. Why don't you just say, fuck you, mom, and hang up the phone. Exactly. That's actually, I'm sold a show. Who cares about Kyle, whatever. Gigi, Gigi has a dropout of college. She's so successful. She's done acting like she was even going to go to college for the first place. You got her like a townhouse on the Upper East Side for going out practically. She's like, well, that paralegal career is gonna have to wait. Sure. Yeah. So, they're going to the baseball game now, right? Yeah. So it's baseball time. Who cares? They're like, I don't like are with Rocio, my queen. Who's wearing like a Hillary Clinton jacket. She's wearing you know, she is fundraiser. If you're brown, you know what? Like on a rest of development, Lucille Bluth's cleaning lady, Loose. She's always wearing hand-me-downs from Lucille. So she always has these like weird like random like coats and shirts and stuff like that. And that's what Rocio is basically. Rocios are all panties though. This is like, here's your Hillary Clinton cape, darling. Thank you. And she got red hair and red eyebrows and she's wearing your crown. She is so cute and Lisa's all nervous to go pitch this thing for gay people. Like we don't expect much. We're gay. We're at a baseball game. As long as she can do a better job than Mariah Carey throwing out a baseball then she'll be okay. Where did Mariah Carey do? Oh my god. There, if you look up on YouTube, there is a hilarious video of Mariah Carey throwing out a baseball in like Japan. And she basically is like, she like winds up and she like throws the ball and goes like a foot. She just like basically throws it down at the ground. And she's like, it is the funniest shit. Like it is still funny 10 years later. I love that video clip. But I loved about Lisa. It's just like, it's just because it's like Mariah Carey too. And then she just like does her little wave, you know, she does that like flappy thing with her hand where she like closes her whole hand when she waves, she closes her whole hand up. But she only does it with like her middle three fingers. She's like, it's like a flopping. It's like a fapping wave. So she throws the ball down on the ground like a toddler throwing something off of their high chair. And then she does the fappy wave. It's just a perfectly in Mariah Carey. She's funny, man. I have a friend who was a backup dancer for her and went on tour with her. Oh my god. Those stories are effing amazing. Oh, yeah. Oh, Mariah, Mariah. Come here. Let me fix you. Lisa, come into my arms, darling. Tell me about that boy who left you tonight. Mariah betrayed me. Lisa loves to take in a hoe and then be betrayed by her. This year. Well, next season, there'll be a there'll be a there'll be a beef with Hanky, I'm sure. So my favorite part about Lisa throwing out the ball was that she's like, I'm so nervous. Here comes the moment and then Bravo like slowed everything down. Like it was the natural and they like focus on Canon and they focus on jiggy's face and slow mo like, Oh, no, even jiggy has judgments. But then it was fine. And then it bounces. Yeah, like the ball bounces and she goes, well, at least it didn't bounce, darling. My poor blind Lisa. How does she even do any? She really counts on Roseview for a lot. Yeah. Lisa would be showing up in bikinis and pajama pants, you know, yeah, work for someone put dressing here. It's like, just put me in something fabulous, darling. It's probably rosy of this whole time that's controlling everything. Yeah. Yeah. Behind the scenes pulling the things. So, um, so yeah, the first pitch, I hope I never get asked to throw out a first pitch because I would be worse than Mariah. I'll tell you that much. I've never been able. I mean, I'm, listen, I am very gay in certain ways. And one of the ways I'm very gay is that I can't throw a ball for my life, for the life of me. I know that might be like, I know many, there are many gay people who can throw balls very well. But not me. I'm the stereotype. I'm the stereotype. I, for all my life, have never been able to throw a ball. I'm such a stereotype that even when people like toss me keys, you know, okay, get in the front and they'll toss me the keys like I'll be too bad of the way and I can't help that it just happens naturally every time. I flinch at everything, embarrassing. So, um, then we have Lisa. We're gonna, oh, she's going shopping with her kids, like on Melrose somewhere probably. And, uh, what I loved is Lisa talking about her, um, spoiling her kids and how she doesn't want to spoil them. And I thought it was gonna be one of those scenes where she was like, well, I don't want to spoil them because there's so many kids that get fucked up by getting spoiled. And then she buys them everything because that's what Kyle's every year there's a scene where Kyle is like, well, you know, I don't want to spoil my kids, but at the same time, I want to make them happy. And then she like buys them Maseratis and Mercedes and stuff like that. Of course, just like buzzing by in her little like golf cart. My first Vespa or something. So I was like expecting it was going to be the same thing. And, but then Lisa was like, no, my daughter's, my daughter works at a deli, a straight up deli. She like toes spread at a deli. And I just lost it. I was like, I love this woman. This is hilarious. I was cracking up when she started laughing. She's like, she makes toast. I was like, this is, this is what we love about Lisa. She is, she does, she actually does keep it real because most, if, if like a rich kid is going to get a job, it's usually like a fake job or like some bullshit where they're working like three hours at like a retail store. But no, she's at a deli, full on deli with like mustard. It's also the difference between, and I'm not taking credit away because I agree with that too. And I had to start working when I was like 13. So I'm with you lady. But there's a difference between making your kids work because you want to make them responsible and just not being as rich as some person next door. I mean, these, Harry and Lisa work, okay, they don't just get handed sacks of money for every little thing they do. They're out working in the, the parents in that neighborhood are like, rich as hell. It's not like they don't work. But I mean, that's like real rich. Okay. She's probably like, you know, make that toast, buy your own car and help us pay rent. Yeah, exactly. It's all together. But then what I really love about Lisa is that, you know, she's about to make this proclamation about like, well, you got to work because if you don't work, you know, you're going to be miserable in your life. And so she's like, you know, I know plenty of women who have every bag onto the sun. And do they feel good? Probably actually yes, so I love that she's like she kind of takes a piss out of her own like Sanctimonious, which wasn't even being sanctimonious But you know if she was about to get up on a pedestal about making kids work She takes a piss out of herself. She sort of double takes a piss out She has her kid working at a deli and then she takes a piss out of herself from making her kid work I just love it. I love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it so then we move we go back to Arlene who is now taking down the heavy stage curtains from 1982 Joanne fabrics or whatever with jewels tied to the end like big plastic jewels side of the hand She's taking those down because we're gonna be made in front of her house She's like well, I don't want to give it the credit, but thanks bitch And only I lean could do thanks bitch in the in that perfect perfect way that turned it right away around for me I was like, I love you now. You're no longer boring me. Have fun. We're having your kitchen your curtains I will watch this now. Yeah, I I you know again I don't have the experience with days that you that you had but I Love Dylene last season and I think I'm going to continue to love her this season Although I think she's gonna get into a fight with someone maybe even Lisa, but we'll see well. I saw an article Some blog some blog post about Her being the only one who will stand up for Yolanda. It's still she says I know for a fact she still has Lyme disease bitch and I Thought wow if you're standing up for Yolanda at the end I think there's a big finale for a little that we already know all this stuff But it doesn't end well for Yolanda and this group I don't like that Eileen's gonna go that way. I don't yeah And so I think Eileen is picking Yolanda, but in fairness there are Malibu neighbors They probably actually see each other out. No one else is in Malibu that place fucking 45 minutes away I know well Camille's out there. Well, I just I'm gonna enjoy another one. Yeah so So yeah, so yeah, Eileen's taking down the stuff. I think the only thing that was notable about that was that she was Shamed by Brandy into improving her interior design. So look Brandy can do some good things too They cut back to her being like wow in my psycho house. Yeah I still think it's kind of funny that Eileen says that was so hurtful. I'm like it was like, you know It wasn't polite, but I don't like I don't even I don't think that was hurtful. I'm just Brandy But it was not hurtful. I think just here I think she was just saying that hearing her house was ugly was hurtful because nobody is honest here So nobody will say like Eileen dude faux painting on the walls and like plastic jewels on curtains that look like their first stage No, honey, but no one that no one here will they'll be like wow. What if we never work again? Yeah, Brandy's like your house is ugly. She's like I was mortified to find out my house was ugly, but I mean that's a Man here I sit in lingerie. I'm like, you know what? You need to just call Brandy before you do anything and let her just tell you the truth She's she may not be good on the show, but she's probably a very good guide. Yes, that's true so then so then we go to Lisa in his birthday and so Lisa shows up there first with who did she get there first with I don't even remember who she arrived. Oh, Kyle Wait, Kyle was there first with least. Oh, we're at least right now, right? Which so they're just there and then and I guess what Kyle was talking about money How she's gonna go on this vacation and that yeah, and I'm like, you know that she just did a scene about how this is all bullshit I can't wait to see this you dumb bet and also Kyle was wearing these short shorts Kyle Girl you are fine. How you are stop stop wishing you were two sizes smaller and buying wrong clothes buying closes Closes fine clothes that are too small for you doesn't make you thinner It makes you look fatter buy your own size. You're fine How you are you don't need to lose a band stopping an idiot and but if you do please keep keep doing it in such a Spectacular fashion those short shorts were amazing and then she put her purse in front of them to try and hide her wedgie Love it. So then so so Yolanda comes because she's gonna make an effort and she comes She's not wearing any makeup. It's like she's like oh It's a sick. I just kind of my love David. He told me don't put on the makeup Let's make sure they see how secure and my favorite part of that was that Everyone just could not believe she wasn't wearing makeup It was like well, you you just don't go out and Beverly Hills about makeup on this is shocking I'm like everyone needs to just get a grip. Okay So so good there were more there were more Over here, it took five people to get the white jeans on but I am here Oh my god, you look like shit and Kyle's like no woman comes out in Beverly Hills without makeup Yeah, then Lisa Rinna says it's like your armor and then Lisa Vanderpump is like Darling if you couldn't put up makeup, you shouldn't come They were more concerned brush your hair. Maybe it's time for a TV dinner darling They were more concerned about her lack of makeup than they were about her health They were like well, she's had this illness for three years, but she's not wearing makeup Oh, no, it's finally a disease that everybody can get behind There's something going around Beverly Hills where women aren't wearing makeup darling If that was a if that was something to do with live disease that should would be cured in five minutes Muhammad would donate a house or some shit and get that shit cleared up right away I know well. She must be sick. She's not even wearing makeup I couldn't even spend 10 seconds to put on a little under eye anything That was hilarious that was really good and then I think that people Obviously everyone's decided going into the season that they already don't believe Yolanda and blah blah blah Yeah, but then at the same time if Yolanda has been anything like she was in the first two scenes to everybody else I can totally see it. They're like shut up. Yolanda. Well, I think right now. They're trying to frontload their Their concern and their sincerity So that way when it comes time to turn on her they can be like well, we were concerned and then you betrayed us Yeah, right here there right now. They're depositing They're depositing in concern into the concern bank, you know, they're like they're making their deposits That way when it comes time when it comes time to To to turn on her they will have plenty of friendship capital They're going to bring off the issue ruins it for everybody. Kyle is the worst. She can't even be subtle. It's like First of all when Lisa Rinna is showing off her diamond She gets diamond rings from Harry and she's showing them off and of course Kyle shoves her face full of food I started laughing so hard. It's like jealous Kyle and then the first minute. There's a little in conversation Kyle's like So what do you guys think about Yolanda? Yeah, no makeup, right? Immediately bringing her up and then She goes I think she looks good and Ken's like you can't say that she doesn't look good. She looks awful Can't say it must be awful to be a man She has a wife who's sick and you try and spend some time with her But then you do everything you can and she's still sick and you go back to work because of what else can you do? They're like yeah poor guy poor David. I know Meanwhile, well the reason why there was a lull is because Yolanda sitting there and all of a sudden She's like I suddenly suddenly I'm tired. I'm like, yeah, that's what getting tired is about That's that's what happens when you get tired one moment. You're awake and then all of a sudden you get tired That's how getting tired is it's not like you get like a text message me like in five minutes You're gonna be tired it happens. She's like suddenly I am tired just like that And she's like and so that I'm like well, you know what maybe you know, it's making you tired How about all the on the FDA on approved treatments you're getting in the Bahamas. How about that? Maybe that's what's making you tired. Maybe it's the strange drugs in your body Okay, your breakfast was like goat toenails and donkey sperm. You feel sick for a reason. You dumb dumb. She's coughing. I'm like Again, I'm not a doctor and I don't know much about Lyme disease, but I'm pretty sure Lyme disease does not cause coughing Mummy does anyone have a recaller for my life Yeah, not everything And you know, by the way, just get back to the makeup thing I was just thinking about it for a moment there and I you know There you know because Lisa Vanderpump is British and it's always in what she's not saying that is most important And what she's basically not saying is if you're going to Take the effort to do your hair and get you know Into some into a nice outfit. It really is not that hard To put makeup on the fact that you don't have makeup on means that you're looking for pity, right? Well by by not wearing a makeup. She's wearing a costume, you know, she comes to a party She's not wearing she's got ghost face and she's got her hair pulled back in a greasy mess And she's wearing her white leftovers, uh, cold clothes So she's coming in costume. Basically she's in her party as a sick person So she's doing everything she can to just get attention when she gets there She sits down there's hardly anyone there and she starts they say how do you feel and she's like Or like dying because look what happens to my stomach and then she whips at her stomach and starts like Touching it and prodding it going into this story about medical things and then Lisa walks into the restaurant like Yes And totally interrupts her then everybody starts trying to have fun and stuff after she's just told everybody that she's dying And then everyone's having fun and then she starts Kyle's rolling her eyes while she's coughing in her face like I have I have I have lime consumption Early onset lime consumption. Um, I love chicken, but my lime is allergic to it Yeah, and then the best part though is also how uh, so yolanda leaves eventually She's like i'm too sick. I can't wait for how they happen to show up So yolanda leaves and Lisa gives it, you know, Lisa just can't stop shaming her She's like, but you know, I just I can't have but wonder You know, if you're only gonna come for five minutes, maybe just if you're so ill that you can only come for five minutes Maybe you shouldn't have come at all. It just seems strange But I guess that's that classic yolanda rudeness that I've moved on from Ken didn't touch your arm. Did he darling good? We've talked about that That mean kin and then yolanda's like, you know, I'm like a car that has overheated. I you know, I pushed myself too hot I'm like bitch. You were sitting in a chair You're like a car that overheated. How would you know? She's like, I remember from three years ago when I could still drive And I because I had the lime disease I drew I drew off the car too hard and I overheated it and I realized no more driving the lamb disease has told me I'm glad I'm not an overheated car because I would be so excited to drive myself But then I would find I couldn't drive oh I was this car overheated in the first place if nobody's driving it So, um, this eventually leaves and then you can I love it with yolanda And then I look like Ken. She's like, I told her she looked better. She didn't she looked terrible But every woman likes to be told by a man that she looks good. I'm like way to go. 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They have for them They're just like very subtle like a lot of stones and beige's. It's really my vibe for fall 2024 Upgrade your wardrobe with pizzas made to last with quince Go to quince dot-com slash crappins for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns That's quinece.com slash crappins to get free shipping and 365 day returns quince.com slash crappins I love that he turned it and it sounds like he's being feeling for yolanda But then it turns out that in the end he's not feeling for yolanda at all He's feeling for david for having to put up with the woman who will go out without no makeup I was like this show needs every emmy bit has ever been formed. I know True has ever been cast but wait look what am I more is thin again had to say that Um, I wonder what was I saying about yolanda yolanda is tired and her hands are sweating Oh, I wrote yolanda. She's like, I am tired My hands are sweaty. You see this I need to go bathroom. I'm like what that's my life. My hands are sweaty right now Me too I'm exhausted. My hands are sweating. My face is puffy and I don't wear makeup put me in a fucking hospital Get out of here yolanda. If you can't enjoy a good randa calamari, you need to go home So then the then the then the episode ends with Kyle talking to maricio about kim and I kind of thought this episode this scene was for like a nothing It was like my only note. I says kyle yammering about kim She was just like doing that thing where she talks about she just wants things to go back and she wishes to think go back But then at the same time that I love it. Yeah, everything's open. I'll talk about what a victim She is okay. She hasn't seen kim since according to her in this She says she they haven't talked since the that big fight They had it so bad if they've talked it's just been a little and she's like, you know I know kim's going through all this stuff and like now she's like sad and it's so hard for me to just not go in there and you know Swoop her up and say hi Swooping up and saying hi are two different things kyle You can go there and still visit your sister and rehab without swooping her up and paying for Elise She can't afford like yeah, I don't know. I ain't gonna feel for you But yes, you know, I I have in me there So yeah, I mean I have I have a little bit more empathy for kyle because I I just don't think even You know, we bash kyle or whatever, but no matter what I don't think it's easy to go through to deal with a sister Such a mess, you know, so I have empathy for that, but I know She does she does kind of play it a little bit. She goes she just she's a little bit too Um self-serving if she was tough love and listen, we're talking about we told kim no more support No more this and tough loved I'm not saying she has to just be nice to kim because kim's an addict I'm not saying that at all. Well, you know that you've heard me talk about it for hours But it's not that I'm saying that at all. It's that she purposely goes out of her way to out Kim in ways that they won't do It's a family. I guess. I guess that's what that. Yeah, well, they're all there was when they showed her really going at it And doing her best to fucking out Kim that was so gross And I get the feelings behind hating Kim for it, but just the way she did it. It's like, yeah Take a drunk while she's wasted And then put her in front of a ton of cameras and then bring and then kyle brings all the girls everywhere She goes to gather around like a girl fight where you you know, you gang up and you attack Well, yeah, there's some Vanderpump rules. I mean that woman's awful man But they're all fucked up because obviously their mom fucked them up and they were all told You know like kyle even said it We were always told to keep things private and so, you know, if you're always told to keep things private You're gonna find other ways You're gonna try and get your sister on a tv show so you can outer to the country instead of your fun And then you can still be quote unquote private because it wasn't it wasn't you didn't you didn't say anything but Kim was either way, so Beverly Hills is back Fun first episode. I enjoyed it So why don't we the other premiere from this week was top chef top chef kylifornia Top chef callee Top chef callee I love top chef So glad it's back is the first real cooking competition thing that I think that was on but the like only good one too. It's the only good one too. So um So finally we're able to talk about this ronnie and i were lucky enough to be extras uh at the uh at the food event that was on the This season premiere. So we got to go and we got to try all the food that you saw last night We got to meet all the chefs What was for me funny was that some of the chefs I didn't really remember from from our time there and some of the food i didn't really hear that because I was mortified I couldn't remember it's shocking. I thought I would there were a lot that I remembered Um But then there were sometimes like for instance, so Jeremy Ford he was the one who won the uh the show The episode right his dish his crudo one It did want it one at the island one who didn't speak So but I seem to remember that we thought his crudo was sort of average I have a I have a memory of being like yeah, I was nice, but it was like kind of bland What what what is crudo? I don't even know what that is. It's it's basically. It's like sashimi. You know, it's like That was terrible. That was so stupid. It was like cut fish. Yeah cut and another one cut fishness. That's what it was Yes, we did not like because it was plain and I remember we were saying How can this do well if you didn't cook like that's a huge thing on top chef? Well, it's not even though that if you're in cook, but it's also there was you know, it was nice It was nice. It was nice. The way, you know, sashimi would always be but it wasn't I don't I just remember feeling like if you're gonna do that the flavors around that have to be really special and uh, you know We thought it was just you know fine That was boring and that's a bad sign for the season too because there was a lot of really flavorful stuff that There was some good stuff on it. Yeah, so that's the thing. I was really surprised With the things that I remember really liking not being on the same wavelength as the judges actually so for instance Karen karen a kuna wish wish or whatever. She's the one who served up like that apple gazpacho, whatever She's the one who had the as you mentioned Uh before we started recording the trans Husband yes, and I didn't realize I was confused. I was like wait. I thought it was She said Oh, my husband is going to the awards But then the husband calls up and it's like a lady and I was so confused because I didn't realize it was trans Yeah, well, I'm thinking I'm just guessing because the voice and then the picture it looked uh Like a trans woman, but yeah, you just say husband. I mean, what do you say? Would you have like a special title for it? No, I just was confused because I no I just wasn't expecting So when she said husband, I just automatically assumed it was could be a man Oh, like a biological man That's not easy to be in a in a kitchen. I've not I'm not a chef But I grew up under one my mom and then grew up Cooking for her and in kitchens and doing all the shit work the grunt work and uh that that's a rough crowd man The chefs they're dark and there are so many original people on this show like this lady with the pink carrot karen Is married to a tram? Uh trans man and then who else is on here? Oh, there's another lesbian on here and I'm like, you know, I that's awesome The kitchens of of all that much you still probably get made fun of every day, but well, I think that like Like a on top chef and and I think what we've seen across the board is that like a lot of women Uh, who are in the kitchen? I shouldn't say a lot but a lot a lot that we've seen on top chef There've been like a lot of lesbians and uh, and it was funny because then when when top chef just deserves was on a lot of the men were gay men, so it's funny how like the You know the the image that gets put forth on top chef of like chefs these days Is there sort of like rock stars and they're rough and they just do this they do that whatever And so it's funny that that is there's a there seems to be linked with Lesbians and then on top chef just asserts it's all about being meticulous and Being very careful whatever and then you see a lot of gay men with that Um, so to me it's a very funny uh link. It doesn't there's no causality between them Uh that I that I know i'm sure there is i'm sure there is Uh, there are theories, but um, I do think it's funny that like Top chef just assert is like gay men. It's more of the feminine Like pastry chefs or whatever the world of pastry up is more like the feminine side and then Cooking uh that you see on top chef is more on the masculine side I don't know what i'm saying. Okay No, no, that's true, but cooking uh the way that top chef does the Chef is a blue collar jaw like it's a rough job. That's a 12 hour a day gig Uh, so you're a worker bee, but it's also art, you know, so and that's also A study because like the meticulous part and getting everything just right, but it's also controlling a whole ship And it's usually Being control of a lot of people who you don't see in the front of the house You know, it's like yeah, the immigrant the people who will work for cheaper and there are really good Lesby a lot of immigrants and stuff like that, but I think that the male like control and lead a team and dominate I think that that's all that's kind of a manly thing. Don't you know, so yeah, well, I think that there's like an element Of and again, we're just talking generalizations here because obviously there are Stream women and gay men in the kitchen, but like I think there's like an element of the modern restaurant kitchen um world of Or in the image of the modern restaurant kitchen is like getting in there and getting dirty and going to war It's like you know people get these tattoos because they've been working. It's like a source of pride Yeah, I spent two years peeling potatoes for this chef as miserable. I didn't get to see but it's like this right It's like getting your hands dirty getting into the mess Whereas with like in like in the world of pastry chefs, it's it's like Order and it's about you know, everything is meticulous because you know, it's it's a science. So I don't know Also working alone. So when you're a pastry chef, you're usually just by yourself or you'll have an assistant that you never see that Comes in and does your press so that come that that's It's not a team sport. It's it's your own thing and also dessert menus change So if you're a pastry chef at a restaurant, usually you're creating all the time. You're not making the same thing When you're a chef, you're a rock star while you're creating the menu and then it's a different You're the rock star that's still on the road 30 years later doing the same songs perfectly every night because people still want it to be the best That it can be, you know, so anyway that but that goes to say uh, so karen Uh, so we were talking about just how we were on different wavelengths karen made that thing of the that's There was some apple gazpacho, whatever That was my favorite thing of the entire event. I remember I went back to that like four or five times Um, and I I went to her. Yeah, but you went back to it because there was still some let's say No, well, everything else ran out. Well, but she was well, maybe she just knew how to portion better You know, I I love that. I thought it was great Um, and I'm a surprise. It wasn't in the top. I really I thought for sure. It was gonna be in the top three I remember I do remember the uh Grayson meatball. We were like what? I actually liked her meatball. I like that but it was a meatball. Yeah, exactly That's probably because it's like meatballs and meatball It was like it was a meatball with ragu sauce on it like it was good. It wasn't dry or anything, but yeah Why are you making a meatball? I like well we went I went I actually went back to her thing And I think I seem to remember she said her judges were really rough on her She was like not she was like trying to like she was in full on whiny victim mode already Yeah, but she was cool. Yeah, but she was like Yeah, here I am Here I am again. Yeah, she was in that like, you know Make it this kind of a rocky in that way when you tell her something's bad. She's like great. I'm a horrible person Thanks for eating my food and not dying after Now Angelina Angelina who was in the bottom three, uh, she made the goat cheese croquette I don't I don't remember very well, but I don't seem to remember thinking it was in the it was deserved to be in the bottom I remember thinking I think I just liked it. I don't think I it was a gold goat cheese ball with breading We didn't like it now. I remember uh, no carl carl dooley. He was in the top. I think I don't remember his super home I don't remember him or his soup. I know it's like a little nerdy white guy. It's like my favorite kind You know, I love that kind of guy so cute I like when they're short because they have some weird control issues. I just think it's so cute Like I love that little gorga that little joe gorga. Yeah, he's not he's not nerdy, but So garret so garret Fleming. He was the one who actually got eliminated this week He made that Vietnamese sort of a fun thing or whatever I think we went to him first if I remember correctly we went to him first And we both really disliked it that one we were I remember really disliking it other people disliked it too Yeah, we were on the sour. I don't remember what it was, but we just did not like it Um sour. Oh, that wasn't that wasn't a good one. Renee kelly thinks it stick out in your mind Yeah, I seem to remember being over salty. I remember being over salty and just not flavorful Um, Renee kelly. She is the red head like the sassy one from kansas. Whatever. I remember her I'm sorry. I love my life But i'm a very happy person and i'm positive and if you don't like it Well, then learn to love your life because i'm happy. Okay, and then the judges come up to her and They said so what padma, what are you going for today? She's like, well My style is approachable and I just want my food to be approachable And so this is approachable like I find approachable gradients and now you're approaching so it works Like so, you know, it's you know, what's not approachable is Undercooked pork. How about that because when we went there She was playing at these pork loins and like half of them were raw And she we have to like she was like trying to find slices that were cooked that cooked enough for people to eat She's very friendly, but her shit was undercooked Which is probably why she's friendly but we came back twice and she talks your head off the whole time and is behind and giving you raw shit I'm like, how about yeah, keep your positivity on the inside. You could kill us all. Okay. Mm-hmm So then um right now we're just basically going through the cast right now on the website. So phillip philliply so phillip there he's already kind of emerging as like a big douche on the show, but We went to his his booth relatively early on and I loved it. I thought and the judges loved it too. It was really That crab that someone on the our Facebook page was like, how was the the crab and like the shit grass? It was good. The crab was Was delicious. That was one of my favorites of the entire day. I don't remember that It was like he had like a he had like there was some crab and there were some vegetables and there was this and that and like sort of When you looked at on the plate it almost looked a little simple, you know, uh, but oh, I didn't like that one. Oh, I loved that one. It was like a little salad It was salad esque. It was like there was some cauliflower. I think that was a salad that was oh, no, that was the pickled vegetables, right? Yeah, I think that's what yeah, that was good. Yeah, I liked that one a lot. I remember thinking wow I like I'm liking something with vegetables like I'm not forcing myself. It was good. Yeah, that one was good So merge like a reaction to him. She said that yeah, he's got that new LA chef thing going on with his little man bun and yeah, weird Exactly. So he's turning out to be a douche. You know, he has a lot of issues with his restaurant right now because here in LA Uh, there's like a mini saga going on with his scratch bar There it's like issues between him and the owner and then he moved to a different venue and that the owner kept it I don't know, but now it's like now we're now that we're seeing his personality. It's like, oh, okay Maybe some of that he's gross. He's so hollywoody Yeah, he's the kind of guy that you know, you meet out at a bar and he talks about himself and who he knows the whole night And then he gives you his card and insists that you call it So he'll have your number two and then he'll send you shit the next day like hey, man great to meet you last night Here's my twitter thing to fall. It's like shut up. You know, I already know a hundred of you get the fuck out of here Well, I'd follow him on twitter if he gave me more free food because I liked his food Um, let's see. I don't remember Marjorie at all from that day. Do you remember Marjorie? I do. Yeah, she was nice And our food wasn't very good, but uh, she was really nice And I loved her in this episode because she's the only one who called out the fact that they're doing a food challenge And I was fucking dog park and yeah Where those tents were set up that they it's not a technical dog park, but it's a dog park It was about the dog owners who kept showing up and they were so pissed Yeah, oh people were getting so mad People because the thing is the production vehicles took up all the normal parking spots and people would drive up with their dogs And then they would just they'd curse Little fuck this is ridiculous. That I'm like, you know what? How about you just walk your dog on the sidewalk? How about that? You can still do that It's a lot of room to walk your dog, but I mean, but I get it. I get it What did she make? I forget what her food went? I don't remember. I really don't I don't remember even from I don't remember from when we first were there And I don't remember from last night's show Well, when she was I just watched it right before this. This is really sad when she was when she was cooked When she was a brother. I was like gross. It was a mic as a bell You know what it was didn't she make? A mic as she did something and oh, I mean gara who got eliminated was like, oh, well Mike as a bell does a total of bastardization of Italian cuisine Whoops, we already knew that but he's obviously close with somebody here because every year now somebody who's bragging about working for You know the olive garden chef, right? Yeah, here Mike. It's a Bella. So Kwame. I liked Kwame's food a lot Me too. They dissed him. They just we loved and he was he was you know I liked he sort of had this like deer in the headlights look like he was like overwhelmed And I just sort of wanted to give him a hug But I loved his food and all of it they were about to cry now some of those stuff were about to just fucking cry I know I I really like Kwame's dish and then and everyone else said because he made it into the top three and And then the judges were like no he should not have been the top three. I'm like, yeah, he should have been Kwame Pray for Kwame Something with pine. I was like a thing with pineapple and something. I don't remember but it was good I just remember like I got I got seconds of that one too So the next guy is a mar. Oh wait. Can I just say something? I remember when we went to Kwame he had some sort of foam and his little foam thing wasn't working, right? And you could see he was all panicked and I was like oh Kwame That's why I think I wanted to give him a hug really over foam anyway I hate it. It's just a big lugee on the plate. I'm never gonna get used to it. Stop it like Putting a straw into a chocolate milk and blowing can make bubbles on top But I don't need that just give me the chocolate milk. Did you see did you see by the way that girl That girl With all that all the makeup did she see that she made it onto the show Do you remember that girl? She was the one she's wearing like a yellow something another and she had like like anchor woman pancake makeup on And she was kind of like she's kind of like a bitch. She was like fake friendly, but also a bitch She um so at one point when we're eating her food and um I like made some sort of sarcastic joke and she like didn't get it and she gave me crazy eye look And then she went off and she did something on camera, which was she was the one I think from pop sugar she um She did her like little thing on camera and then she comes back And she this was she then she noticed that she had like lipstick on her tooth and she's like oh my god I have lipstick on my teeth. I can't believe you didn't even tell me you let me go on camera with that lipstick on my teeth and i'm like First of all, I didn't see it second of all. It's not my job to tell you got lipstick on to the second third of all I don't even know you I was like get out of my face Yeah, she's one of those girls who's like you're gay. So you're one of mine. You're supposed to tell it's like no girl We don't we ain't you'll gay get out of here, but of course I was like friendly to her I was like oh no it looks fine, but that's inside. I was like get out of my face Weren't you looking at me while we were talking didn't you know i'm like no I was looking past you like I am right now the only reason I even remembered that is because you told me again later And she got done all the way there was bus fights. Oh my god. Well, that's the thing so so then her yeah So the thing is this so the entire time I was like rolling my eyes this girl because she kept on trying to get on camera But she totally redeemed herself like total reversal and then I I turned out I loved her Because when the event was over we'd been there for like five hours We're ready to go and have these shuttles that take us back to where we had to be And so we're waiting in line to get in the shuttle and Like Ronnie and I are at the front and then this girl is like next to us and some other two other girls Come up and basically try to cut the line and this girl this pop sugar girl She's the exact sort of like alpha bitch who says in this very sweet, but bit you way be like excuse me You can't cut we've been waiting here in line for a very long time I'm sorry. No, you can't you're not allowed to if you want to get in the bus you have to get to the back of the line You know like girls you just get bossy like that And it was amazing and then we even got into the in the band you're still going off on them I'm like all right you have won me over I know because that stupid girl who cut in line was still trying to be snotty in the back because she still crawled her ass in there I got stuck in the back Oh, you're with that one always get stuck with these bitches crawling all over everybody and then like I'm up against the wall smushed like trying not to sweat today. Yeah, and they're like you don't mind Univars like you were holding court back there because I was in the front You were all the way in the back and you were like cracking jokes back there You had like a whole little light thing and I wasn't always do when I'm terrified That's how I deal with it. I do it every time. I'll be put in prison in like half a show every week Come on everybody. Just don't rape me So then um, okay, so back to the cast so amar he is the one who had the the Do you meet ball that everyone loves? Amar's like the bitchy gay Dominican which makes me already like him and he's overweight Which makes me already like him, but I cannot get behind somebody with a fohawk Yeah, I can't fucking do it top chef stop with the fohawk stop I mean, that's like since season one someone's been showing up with a fohawk stop. I was no one told you amar You're a and come on Dominicans don't hide the truth. They'll tell you you know the thing is this not all gay men have tastes So there you go, but his yeah, his meatball was really good I'm one of them. What a lot of great tastes either. It's just a fohawk. Damn you one more I want to like you amar So then we have uh Jason Stratton Okay, so this is interesting to me because he served like a poached chicken with radicchio And the judges were like oh really a great perfect example of like classic technique We both hated that that was my least favorite dish of the day. I think terrible. That was no flavor Also, he's wearing yellow pants and red socks with like mary jane shoes stop. Yeah, he his uh I remember thinking the I mean the chicken was it was perfectly cooked and it was juicy and everything but it had no flavor And the radicchio was bitter. I hated that dish and the judges liked it I mean, no liking and I can't believe they would give chicken. I don't know chickens. Just didn't seem right. It seems so boring Yeah, whole thing not good. He seemed very nice though And also these pictured like as a person. He seemed nice. Yeah, he's uh, I'm looking at the pictures of the chefs at grayson is so great She comes back on ready to go. She is like in leggings. Uh-huh Perfect heels. She's cinching her waist right at the most thinning spot This bitch knows how to be on tv again I was gonna laugh my ass off when she was gonna be the first one kicked off Thought please kick her off because this is hilarious. I know she was losing it upward and she was losing it at the judges Yeah, I was like, Grayson, what are you doing? So then um, uh, Francis, uh, she was the sushi She was the she was the basically the only one that wasn't an executive chef I she had a big line at her station, but I remember not liking it very much And the bitter melon was bitter. It was bitter and she even says on the show She's like well most people don't like it at first, you know Because if you don't know bitter melon melon at first it actually tastes like poison. I'm like, yeah great strategy Great strategy on top chef on a show where people who have never had bitter melon have to vote for you Like this one was all audience vote, so yeah, oh dodo bird But again, this one seems so cute in my so I like her Isaac was Isaac was great. He was really warm hilarious and his food was delicious Yeah, I'm a New Orleans. Go. I can't even do that. New Orleans. The New Orleans. Yeah, New Orleans will have a mom span Mom has to friend Wesley Okay, Wesley. So his dish was really tasty. He was a mess Well, I was wondering why there was sticker. There was a sticker coming out on my poop the next morning Because all the stickers on the tomatoes and just put him in the blender fucker He was his asser and he had his like he had like a spiel. I heard him do it three times He's like well. I'm actually from Alabama, but I do this like it was like he memorized it he uh I thought he kind of he gave like an asshole vibe, but like fun asshole But it was really tasty and really strange like that potato salad and green curry something another So strange guys he says yeah, I'm just the sloppy guy just a regular guy My wife calls him a sloppy and like okay, guess what? That's like cute and stuff But you're cooking food now. So maybe don't brag about that like who does that? You just fed me a tomato sticker a bitch and then he ate with his spoon and then put it back in the thing That is so gross and pat me and robot had my love fat Padmon is like yeah, if you're going to put a spoon in your mouth, don't put it in my food Uh, but she ran then she's eating it. She's like, mmm. Is there an orbit in here? I taste orbits And possibly a couple of peanuts. Did you find those in the break room? I love peanuts So now here's one that I've been waiting to talk about for months now giselle giselle wellman What a bitch what did I love that she's a bitch on tv do She was such a bitch to a poor girl This poor poor girl has that kind of personality. She's not a bitch. She's an asshole You know, she's just that kind of bitch who is trying to be something But she's just coming across as an asshole like the first thing she told us she's like I'm just not used to this because I'm an executive chef at fine dining restaurants You know, I mean, you know the restaurant blah blah, which I don't like I don't know why I thought I was like oh wasn't there someone else from patrosion the show and she goes no Like as if like I'm being like fucking ridiculous here since I've been there for a while I remember thinking that when we walked away I was like really an asshole for someone who works at a caviar restaurant And then that shit comes in a can like you don't have to do anything put out a cracker Get out of here, bitch And then you cracked a joke about target or something like that you made some reference to target and she just was like So nasty to you. She was like You were like, what did you say? You said something about like, well, they're crazy in target She's like, well, how do you know what target I go to you're like, well, because everyone goes the same target Yeah, she was saying she just moved to west hollywood So I was talking to her about the neighborhood and stuff and she was not having it and I loved it Because I love getting that kind of look for people here because people take themselves Themselves so seriously and I don't or myself, you know, I just think it's all so hilarious So when someone's like um I've worked it she listed like 10 places and she's like and now i'm the executive chef at patrosia caviar restaurant You know that is right. I'm like, no, I don't know what it is And then when you started saying like you do know what it is. I was like, oh, no That we're here. We go and I thought she was gonna get on it and she didn't she shot us now Then it's like okay. So i'll be nice and then she still wouldn't have it And i'm like, bitch you open cans for a living shut up Get out of my space can't wait to watch you look like an asshole So every time yeah every time they showed like they just they showed like a little bit of her bitch flower blooming on the show Like a little bit, but i'm like, oh, I would can't wait for it to fully bloom because they showed it She reminded me of that girl. That's kind of a bud. That's like already grown cilantro You buy in tiny pots and put in your fridge. That's just a dandelion. She's a fucking dandelion Like a bit sweet Like little parts of it off at a time until it's dead She reminds me of she reminds me of karen from survivor remember and she even looks a little bit like karen so i'm So she actually made a soup and the soup was actually delicious, but she put that prosciutto in it Remember she's like i made a vegan soup and then i put prosciutto in it And i remember that the prosciutto was really chewy and it got in the way If she had just made the soup, it would have been amazing the soup was i love the soup pulling it off the wrapper that it came in you know how prosciutto comes looking kind of like bacon where it's just all late or like a salmon And she's like pulling it off Really lady? I don't need to see your costco wrapping or whatever the hell it was she was annoying. I hated her But i'll love that i hated her and i'm gonna love to hate her on this I don't remember this chad guy at all this. I like i vaguely remember his grasshoppers vaguely But i not that well, but i liked it. He's fun. He's middle of the pack. He's cooking grasshoppers. You got to love it Yeah, so i think i wesley trees where i gasses wash Mom jeans. Yeah, i love this show. I'm so glad it's my my favorite thing because i never remember the food And i don't really care that much about food like i just like volumes of food so I uh, I like when the personalities show and they've got some crazy ones on this you can tell this jazelle Okay, let's see who's going to be the craziest jazelle the bitch Uh, let's see gracin is going to be right the rocky this amar is going to Be a total bitch and i love it angelina is going to be one of those like typical Like aunge news or like their version of aunge new that lasts like Like longer than you to expect And there would be like, oh, you're really growing but then they're just going to cut her this Oh angelina. I love her. She refuses to smile so she doesn't look old I love something that takes place in l.a. Where people look down on you for being younger Every other show on bravo they're like crashing their faces into walls To get them restructured and shit to look younger and then there's an actual young person. They're like gross. You're young She's like, I know I want to kill myself Oh, also this rene kelly of course the one who's talking about positivity. She's going to be the biggest bitch The ones who hold that hard to positivity are always crazy every single time And also this jeremy forward is going to be a douche bag Rene kelly is sort of like a Like a slightly heavier Toriemos in the kitchen. That's what she is Except happy With like that southern person that southern junior league thing i always talk about that smile But you still have a stab right in your heart. It's like sarah chock. Sarah chock means sarah chock Toriemos. Oh my god Sarah chock grows up and gets like mad about something but tries to hide it behind a smile Oh, well, but we're into your top chef. We're into it. We can't wait to see the rest of the of the Premier it's another episode tonight. Yay. So next that much top chef, but it's a time to go to chasha Hold on. I'm gonna do sure below deck. I could do eyes. I could do eyes I'm gonna stop the recording for one second. So that way it gets saved. Hold on And I go pee pee. Yeah, go pee pee. I gotta pee I'm gonna eat the rest of my thing thin bar We'll be right back. Okay. We're back ryan and I we're just singing sondheim off the air And it was sticktracy. So it doesn't count. It was like sondheim light madana sondheim All the things that happen behind the scenes can't wait for the Watch for crappins uncensored special to come out and you'll see all the show tunes we sang off the air It's the easy version of sondheim from adana. He's like godana's doing it. All right. Let's uh re-time this everybody Yeah, well, at least it wasn't like uh like that into the wood sondheim where it's like i'm going It's like uh going to the valley because the valley needs to go into as a bit of a very happy valley and the valley is that Whatever that's actually a half rest that comes with the end of that sondheim He just flexed with people he'll like put it down at the end of the note and be like Still didn't get it. Let's do it all from the top You thought of a bitch You're doing that on purpose So, um I could tell you stories of me and steve Yeah So you want below deck or shasha first I love that we take all this time to go pee and talk and we never talk about what we're gonna actually Well, we had we had sever we had sever going to do chesha next but we can do below deck Why that that works for me. I'm good with either. We're doing them both at some point All right. So why don't we do uh, why don't we do chesha chesha? The first note I wrote for this was wallian wall wallian Whoa wallian So uh, here's just a general note about my golly first things first What we last spoke about chesha actually about two weeks ago because we pre-recorded our last chesha Uh episode, um, so for the past two weeks I found myself very frequently saying to myself. Oh my godly My golly. Oh my golly my golly. Today. I was like going to mess with my golly Today my my blender started to leak and i said my golly Oh my golly Oh my golly or even the other women saying it's so funny my golly So the other thing that I love about my golly i've noticed You know, we we talked about those last time and she always either She has like these conversations with herself and say she read the book. I read the book. I do this She do this whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa? So the other thing she does, I noticed is She really builds you up for something And then she lets you down. So she'll be like You know, I see the talking over here And I see the talking over here and everyone's like bop, bop, bop, bop And everyone's getting mad and I said, you know what i'm going to do. I'm going to sit down and watch Like oh My golly don't come to party where people bop, bop, bop, bop, bop I want to get up. I want to walk over there and i'm going to get something off the buffet over there These women are making me so mad what i'm going to do is i'm going to get right up in their face And i'm going to say excuse me. I'm going to sit down now I'm i'm gonna sit it down now So we made fun of the opening lines and how they Just they're a monologue every opening line just goes on and on and Some of the scenes are like that on this show too where you're like, yeah, I think the scene should have been over already Yeah, the first one is omp-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p This is a little get my head that did Her old queen friends come by who are like maybe 70 They look like they gave they look like the gay guys from best in show, you know What i forget michael mckian and the other guy that's and they just they they come over One of them has like a drink and they sit down and they just say nothing the entire time They just listen to their crazy women friends go off And she's telling them well the big news that they did a party was they And they're just looking at her like, yes, we know Tell us everything. Yes They have men they have children they have calls and i'm for fucker i'm gonna call i'm gonna man get my ass i'm never i'm never gonna get my watch Ross i'm never gonna get the watch Ross And then the guy i love that their advice basically was now then All you need is to have sex with somebody and they marry somebody else Like you're giving her gay guy advice basically they're like those friends and levels And she's like, yes, that's how to do it. I'm like, no, that's living like a gay man That's not how to do it girl. If you want to do it like a girl You need to not hang around gay guys who are like, yeah, we just married each other because we can share each other sweaters We still fuck up See i read it as if they were just they've heard this all before and they Uh, they basically they hang around and be good to say that they hang around and be good because they can be like Oh, she's fabulous. She's our friend, but they actually don't really care what's going on in her life So they just sort of dial in their advice because the guy was like Loya, I see it. It's a perfect situation You know you go have fun with him and then you come back and you can have fun with your girls You don't have to come back to him He's all with it. He's off doing that and then you can hang up your girls I'm like that does not sound like a great long-term situation I mean, you're supposed to want to come back because then it sounds like a dream, you know They're like, wow would you move out of town darling? No, would you damn it? I just figured it was them just basically Trying to put a positive spin because as a gay man when you give advice you can kind of As long as you put a positive like Positive inflection in your voice you can make anything sound great like girl. No, it's great You know because now that like now that your husband's died you can like have free time. That's great. It's like no, that's actually There's no one to fart. There's no one to fart under the blankets. You'll be fine It's amazing sleeping alone and then their ampeaker like But the fall under the blankets the only thing that can kick my womb Don't ever get over it. It's like she won't let it go. No matter what anybody says Yeah But that's what I need some people need the pain of being alone and knowing that they can never have the man in the law on the wat dress It's weird because like I feel like whenever I do a british accent, it would be like what? What what draw so somewhat what what I can I'm getting all confused now But it's like there's like this weird Cheshire thing where it's like a almost there's almost something vaguely twangy about It's like a wat dress Yeah, my wat dress Gonna get my wat dress Instead, I just got a ball of clava on my mom on the penis But the ball of clava is like if you can't get the ball of clava It's just got world ball clava and I had it was not a wat ball of clava. So So someone said by the way, someone one of our listeners said that ball of clava is cockney rhyming slang for having sex Oh, and also we learned gobe when uh, she says what's her name stupid woman? Whatever her name is with the dawn. No dawn at the beginning says toppy. I'm dumb. I'm gobe I'm crazy God, they means like she talks a lot. I think it's like yummy Gobe so then we go to so then we go to lorin and lorin and mcgolly meet up And this is to me a perfect example of what you were just saying where it's like shouldn't have seen evended about two minutes ago Because they just they're not only are they talking but with the ampika song uh scene and the lorin and mcgolly scene They're recapping what happened in the last episode, but they're not even bothering to really get flashback They're just talking through it and uh They've already talked through it like they pretend that they've never talked about it I know or that it was this huge thing It really wasn't that big of a thing and they're acting like it was world war three is so funny And lorin's there in this leather like leather kind of cowboy hat thing. Yes really shiny and smooth Now it's almost the same color as her face. It looks like a A face hat if that makes any sound like that can't believe that hat's going out without makeup I'm embarrassed for it. I actually liked her out of it believe it or not. I I liked it. I thought I made her look, you know, they everyone's like, oh, you know, lorin's she's so posh She's like so posh. I'm like She has this crazy red hair. She doesn't really look that posh But um this looked a little bit Old Miffon said the party It's not the one that's been cold Most girls call me loose Old list girl We're slow. Oh I wrote down this quote. I don't even know why lorin just goes How did you find the guy at the party? I don't even remember why she asked that How did you find the girl at the party? Is that what it was? Oh, maybe it's the girls. Oh, that's what it was. She goes So my galley, how did you find the guy at the party? Oh, yeah, how did you find the guy at the party? How did you find the guy at the party? She's the one who her shirt. She has like that thing where it like trails off if there's like an any like A sound They're just trails off like And then she goes Well, you know Cheshire. It's the wealthiest triangle outside my fire I Like that she speaks in questions And giggles like she's always about to laugh and she's always asking you a question She was they were talking about ampeca and I guess she's friends with ampeca in real life Yeah, so she's trying to explain it to magali who's like not getting it at all saying She she she's not one of those girls a made-of-foot ball. Welcome to jasmine She's a girl. They won't staff a man. Look at married, but stay with a mommy mama She's just going on and My god. Oh my god. He goes. Why would you want to live like that? This is stupid. Who has a relationship? Does your husband hit you on the head with soccer ball? Then it's not real. I don't want to hear it. What an idiot The problem with this man is too much money not love not love. I love she just that's her thing So she when she's doing her interview she has her fingers up like she has both like a little field goal She'll be like the problem is not too much money. It's a money Then she'll like lean forward with one of the fingers go not love then she comes back field goal Then one goes forward. She leans in not love Too much money field goal not love lean forward point Or she or maybe the field goal is more like she has her hands up as if She's minding against the walls or her hands are up And then she leans forward no not love But I loved I did love though when I for some reason I listened to Lawrence a triangle Like five different times. I'm surprised I didn't record it because she says trying to like try and go My favorite subject in trisha high school was geometry because I love triangles I love it. I love it. I love class manners. Well, Brad triangles That triangle is well, Brad She likes triangles. She's wild. Right. Mm. Cuz tanya was like, yeah, cuz I don't want my kids to turn that lock Whenever she's being rude and calling her a snob and lauren goes Oh, don't want to be a snore The girls don't understand. It's the fences The richest or the rich luvia They don't even understand our fun said I also liked when lauren cracked herself up. I'm not even sure why she said it. She's like We're on it like a cow bone it She's and then just laughs. We're on it. Oh look a cow bone it. Oh So they're deciding to go. I don't know whoever's fucking parties today They're meeting on a park bench Which was killing me because that's so season one of a housewife show. They're like, okay Just sit on this park bench. Okay, and if we see anybody coming for permits, we run Get behind that bus some poor things like no restaurant. We'll let them film yet, you know, mhm Yeah, what do you call that community cable? Yeah, like pay public access. Yeah, so then we go over to domes house The couch room it looked like a furniture store in there. It's like gigantic couches everywhere It don't even make sense. They're not even facing anything I love perfection Don derby derby can you hear are you listening derby? Derby are you listening? Do you hear my derby? I love listening to derby talk. This is like a sex practice I wonder what derby thinks about me having to get me as direct to me Dobby, I don't want the entire world to look at me and think there's a woman to count over by baby. Dobby I mean All right, I'll get me as direct to me Derby Now I know I have four children, but I don't want people to think that I can't have more They ain't gonna think that because you're hysterectomy. Okay, they're gonna think that because the top of your foreheads like now a ducktail behind your head I want people to think I can have a lot of babies in me womb The only one shock to that you can't still make a baby is you. Okay, the rest of us got over 10 years ago catch up This town really is into plastic surgery just like all the other ones. Everybody looks crazy including dawn Yeah, but don looks very different in the opening I'm dumb. I'm go big that that whole house. Yes She looks like a totally different person than she does in real life She has like a she has like a peg leg walk in that she like she And the opening credit she sort of like stumbles and then she's like comes to this resting position where she's sort of like leans onto her leg Real quickly. I'm happy It's like the most it's the least graceful walk i've ever seen on this show She's sort of like shakes into this position Old smack of the sauna if it said something mean to go Dobby. This is how you do it. Dobby. Dobby. This is this is how you look smiling because in that opening she's still smiling And she really does look like this young fresh girl, but then in real life. She's like Dobby Some the contract Dobby don't eat that Dobby Dobby now Dobby, what are you eating that Dobby? You're getting fat and lazy Oh my god, okay I have on the bed. So now so now tanya talked about this darling Now ampeaker is just going to talk about this to every single person who surrounds her now And she's also done this thing. I think the gays were like Mr. Tin types person could you stop implanting this on a tin and they were like all right wrap it up We'll be waiting by the park bench Because they stopped shooting because I think the gays were like listen honey You cannot go on tv and talk about fucking a married guy You're the whole the whole point of the married guy fucking you is that you're not on tv telling people about it You cannot tell what people a married person is fucking you can't do it So then in the next scene after just telling the guys how she loves boning this basically married dude Which is what she said the whole time now. She's with tanya and tanya's like Said i'll just understand say he's married. You know, I understand that you want man. He's married. So, you know, that's the thing He's like he's not married. He's not married at all. I don't know what people got that impression when I said it was mistress Yeah, I'm a woman who's with the man. That's all I mean talking about ampeaker I'm sick of it. Like, you know, I own that you're a mistress be like, yeah, you know Oh, I'm in love with him But you know, we'll never I'll never get my white dress and that's okay because I don't want it because I just I'm happy with him But she's like you can't You can't be a mistress And then complain that you'll never get your white dress. Okay, like you can't you can't You can't talk about how much you're in love with one than to complain. You're not it's like you either Except that you're a mistress and just move on but you can't get I guess what i'm trying to say is don't get mad at your friends because they all have husbands And they're talking about their husbands and you feel You know, and then you feel bad because you're a mistress and you never even get that Well, then stop being a mistress. Don't get mad at your friends about that either Except that you're not getting it. So weird is that she not only gets mad. She's like They don't understand. I can't leave them even though I know it's bad Like in this in this part, she tanya's just trying to say whatever she needs to hear She's being a good girlfriend. So first she's like, it's all right. It's a mad man. You know, they know how to do You know, you know, we can't all have we can't all have single husbands, you know And so she's trying to say what she wants to hear and then ampeaker actually says this How i told you means well, but how can anyone truly understand me? You're a nail salon owner who's fucking a married guy. I'm like, what is so deep. Yeah, exactly Just put a ball of clover on it. So, um, the cliff's notes would be longer than the actual story darling Just because we're trying to explain what the hell you're thinking So she won't take it and then tanya switches and gives her the opposite advice and she's like Well, if you're gonna play with this man, then just know what it gives you know what the man gives you and take it And she's like, oh god do that. I'm like, you don't even know what she's saying because none of us do you're just disagreeing to disagree Shut up and beaker. That's why you ain't ever gonna get married because you argue about stupid shit Pick your battle stunning. I know and because really annoying I find stop choosing them on your face I mean good lord when she pretended that she was she couldn't take facial pain in the salon And then she's never felt anything on her facial skin. I was like you look like a butt Like your face is at the point shaped like a butt with two jewels on it What are you even talking about? Of course, you know pain if anyone understands pain, it's one of these bitches And you know what this show has is really guilty of pushing the whole crazy um like Rejuvenation treatment thing we've had in the past like two episodes like 10 different things and it all it always follows the same arc It's like I've never done this but I've never done the vampire facial before but Tonya says it's really good So I'm gonna go with it everything and it's like well that was quite an experience. I'm never doing that again It's like every single episode. It's like well that was interesting. I'm never doing that again It's like well, why do we keep happening to watch this? They never like it It's always one person who has to do it. We said that we even there was the crystal therapy too, which we didn't talk about They did oh, did we pass the crystals already? Yeah, we passed the crystals, which is fine Nothing happened except with the crystal like oh like it was twirling around the vagina and they're like She took it away from the vagina And then the crystal lady put her hands like a few inches above the vagina like she was getting her hands warmed Like it was really cold and she was just drying her hands or something at the gas station like an air blower machine It's like what are you doing? I know. She's just like holding her hands above the vagina Whatever happened paper towels. I also by the way the vampire facial first of all They look like they were having a facial because they all look like they had jizz on their face second of all Facial they put mongseem on your face. They're like it was gross. It was an old theme of vampire And what were they doing were they injecting fat from their arm into their face? I was so confused It was gross. They actually took anything out of them. Did they? I thought they said it took something from the I mean no they took something from their arm. I thought I don't know They each had five turns in the seat because they just kept each getting in the seat Like what is this layers layers of crap? What are they doing to you guys and then the conversation this scene really went on for forever I mean, I think it was like they came back to it three times and every time they're like What are you doing? Nothing? What are you doing? Nothing It's like last week it's like last week when Megali and Lauren had had breakfast or had lunch And then like five scenes went by and then came back to them still having lunch Here's what I say when they fill up my water. I say you want to fill up my water you better don't fill up my water You know what I do I walk right into that kitchen and I walk right up to that chef and I say chef Excuse me. I'm trying to find the bathroom You are the he has a bathroom. I have a bathroom He liked to cook. I like to cook. I say whoa whoa Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, so much chopping It's like whoa Oh, we may open with that from last week. I started laughing. So Whoa Whoa She's the new joey whoa, whoa Whoa, so next week over to don't office Or are we need the curtain staking down? I want to make sure that we get catches that are the rock sores for the room send me five more catches into the cat Someone get Dolby a megaphone So then she goes into she goes in the office and then she's like in her private office with Nicola and Nicola's like When you get get your hysterectomy mum Gonna get get seen then then don't like I'll get me hysterectomy Yes, yes, I'll put in the optimum. We talked about hysterectomy a lot. What was it a lot? I just don't I just don't have the time. We don't have the time with all me meningitis Oh, yeah, hysterectomy is gonna take over your love and strangling this like, oh, you're gonna get it I'm sort of like I can't take my insides out while Darby's still walking on her career. Gotta get their fat asses out on stage I think that um this chiknigula Knows the gay guys like the older gay guys. Yeah, because I think the older gay guys came by and they were like Duh, like we sold the first episode slow down No one needs to hear you talking like a coconut sailor on the back of a drone So all right then because today last week she's like all right most a bottom over Are we gonna do it is to root to me We're gonna get gotta get it out of you. I make the appointment for you if you don't do it yourself I'm be the one try I'm gonna stick my hands up. You've done and pulled out myself if you don't do it soon Uh Do make me use any steplumum. So this uh This is so housewives by the way a woman goes to the doctor a year ago He tells you you need a hysterectomy Then she doesn't ever do it and just ignores it and then like two weeks into shooting a real housewife show She's like, oh, I still need to get this direct to me. We'll do it on the camera Like jesus that is your set your season one, but you're already so real house. I know I love perfection I'm holding my cancer treatments until the cameras are here. It's not spreading is until that cancer note to spread The cameras are here. It's like jesus christ even the diseases on the show were a fucking fame horn So then uh later, I'm so sorry because I just talked so much, but I have to say she goes Oh can't do it. I'm scared to go get me his direct to me I've only been put to sleep twice what so woke up my boobs were gone one time. I woke up as a dog About they're not putting you down. Yeah I hate sleeping. I love I love perfection. I hate sleep Oh love perfection I told you she loves perfection and anybody but herself as long as she can boss other people around to make perfection She's fine with it, but when it comes to herself, she ain't even gonna get her vagina fixed I mean, what kind of perfectionist is that? You know who likes to sleep fat people like the girls in my girl band they're all fat and sleeping all the time We'll have it they better wake up better wake up and use some weight because I love perfection I've been lazy about getting me a strict to me than the fat girls of the bond Darby i've taken away your bed that way you can't sleep anymore be more like mum What don't pick the couch go out there and pick it up sleep on Darby here's a stool. Yes. Now. Now you're a big girl now. Darby now you get to sleep like me like your mum On a stool sitting up with your eyes wide open. That's right because I don't go to sleep Darby Darby Right here is sitting on the couch He's been giving me a goat look for an hour and a half But he's sitting on the couch and he was giving me a goat look and then he turned around and reach He's really long he turned around and reached all the way to his butt and he's sitting there biting his butt Oh, well, that's like running that out because it's fucking amazing to see it. His stomach's like hanging out the side I'm only doing I'm only fat whoa whoa about dobe whoa whoa dole has a but I have a but Bula builalax itch. I like it, but I should do it. You know, it's written that but I didn't think so you fat bastard Well Britney spare Britney spears eat thrown out for that wound about calories dobe nation looks it up So anyway, then Tony invite Don over cuz Tony is having it She's the reason why she had this whole facial is cuz Tony is having a book launch book. Oh, that's they call it so she's first of all she serves Don some flat warm champagne and Tony makes it seem like only don't only don't she only don't what to know. She's such a snob It's like no, it's flat warm champagne. That is gross. I was on Don side so then Tonya shows her book and The font is Enormous and the margins are like three inches each It's supposed to be like here's how to sleep your way up and get on to maximum and then have a husband and Then have big veneers. This is how you do it three chapters. I Don't know how she got a book So funny, well, you don't get one. It's not like the old days where the public publishers had to like be mute appropriate You know, there's Amazon now darling. Yeah, that's true. We have a book. I'm gonna release all of my notes as Books I'm gonna start saving up all my notes and then just releasing them because they say things like Tonya and app facial Question mark question mark. What's the point? Just get it taken off. Yeah, that's good misspelled So I loved Lauren later on at the book at the book launch. I loved when Lauren Totally shaded Tonya's book. She's like lots of half pages. Is that to draw pictures? You're doing so well I'm here looking at your book. The words are so big. You've got the biggest word of any books Congratulations, you want something I love Lauren. I love her so much. Oh, there was so there was a scene by the way where Dobby talked with Leana with the at the stables, but that was like a boring scene. Oh, it's me. Yeah, I mean You're a little care. Yeah Yeah, I was like, okay, next scene so then so what I love is that like Yeah Paula that's quite nice. I like to think cut so then So then so it's the book launch and my golly picks up Lauren for some reason. I love the idea of my golly I always pick up Lauren. I'm like, I don't like to drive So I got my oh I don't draw this and the world the world And it's more important to keep a man on track than it is a go thankfully Oh, she likes to drive so all broad and you they have those Cameras that are already put in the car, you know, like in the yeah, but they have like the new ones But it's like low resolution. Yeah, they have like webcams like to up like Verizon thing on top of the door like a little Verizon box from Best Buy or whatever. Oh, we're in Tim Obelso It's not fun set his cell phone towers is in a state sports school So anyway, she's the funny thing to me is that they're just being shot this whole time You know in these cars and you can tell that wherever they live is very far from everybody else cuz they're always driving together And the conversations it's like hour two into the conversation when we cut in because you can tell cuz they're bored It'll be like look at that And then I was going to tell her. Oh, yes, look a rest up. Do you have to stop? Don't walk to rest good scene guys. This was great. Yeah, just making another hour and then they do Well, you know, I mean I don't know how Lauren survives that those rise cuz MacGolly probably compares everything on the road. She's like oh McDonald, I see a McDonald's McDonald's on the left Burger looking on the right Hospital on the left If you know home on the right House on the left house on the right. I say whoa Also MacGolly's like me. She has that judgmental part. So anything you say she'll say something horrible and critical And she'll be like, oh, man, I knew God Solid with the life blower the root. They shouldn't be doing this. I tell them what you want me to come to your heart and Don't like a hat. I tell him you take off your stupid hat. I don't listen to people with that So much traffic, it's like beep beep beep beep all the cars on the street beep beep beep. How about you just go? Just go. I'm like whoa MacGolly, it's like no. Whoa What was she saying in this one when she's like do your research? I Think I think it was Ampeca because Lauren was saying on friends with Ampeca and so just won't the husband But she can't do it and MacGolly's like that's bullshit. She's married She going for married man. No, this is not how you do it. This is not how you get husband. You know prepare look prepare yourself You know do the research something or something about do the research that I started laughing my ass off so funny I know and then So then they're at the they're at the book launch everything everyone's making from the book So at one point Lord, did you write anything down about kitty? Oh, I was wondering if you got kitty - no Tanya's book is a motivational book. It's talking. Yeah, I'm like you already said But her motivational partner is kitty and she looks like Frenchie from Greece. Oh, this is my motivational partner Kitty, I wouldn't do anything if it weren't for kitty. Hey kitty. She's like look at everything Them strip us look. Yeah, kitty. You won't go talk to the whole kitty. Yes And kitty's like hello boys. Oh, yeah, Robert. Oh, I'm gonna be painting Yeah, little she's kind of quiet But she like gets up to these strippers and they cut to one of the strippers just looking terrifying Yeah, this whole Cheshire show all they do is terrify strippers, and I love it Unhot stripper who hasn't looked terrified yet. I know they all do so then eventually this the the episode culminates with McGolly and Leanne in the bathroom and Leanne's like I decided I was going to Clear the air with McGolly because it's all so stupid, and I thought like I'd just say something so first The end's like oh, it's really a wonderful book. Don't you agree? It's a lovely. That's a great party They're in the bathroom and she's putting on lipstick that looks terrible like everything's going wrong McGolly is like, what is this? Why is this conversation happening right now? It's weird. It's so fake strange. I don't know I'm like obviously I don't know every time she talks to me. I say fake, you know, I don't know She's putting on lip. I say I don't even believe your lip your lip like Lipstick what's sticking what's there to stick? Okay? It's just a lip and she is Leanne is so like that so so good. She walks on the bathroom So apparently they've been friends for 15 years, which is surprising insane so these bitches have already hated each other and it doesn't make me feel for McGolly again They just automatically were like make her the bitch even though they've been friends ever. That's not cool So Leanne's a bitch so Leanne's like I help you understood what I was doing at the dinner one I got upset with you. It's because I'm sticking up for my friend So I hope that you understand and McGolly's like, oh wait, no, I don't understand Leanne's like Leanne's like, you know, I thought that wait. I said that to McGolly She would say yeah water under the bridge. We don't be moving on. I was surprised that she didn't want to move on I'm like, yeah, because you brought up something that you were totally sticking your head into of course She's like not gonna just be like, oh, it's okay. Like you were a bitch or you should apologize Yeah, thank God everybody against her and then pulled her aside to have your own scene trying to yell at her and then tried it again And now she's not gonna take your shit, bitch And the golly let her have it and I was dying and then when she started screaming When Leanne started screaming, I'm like, oh, this is why she's on the show Because she's one of those really nice mousy girls who just loses it. Yeah And she's like, you got a reputation McGolly. You know, you like you get a lot of things McGolly's like Like what do what what have I asked for free ticket for? What have I asked for? What about fashion? Well, so But it's your reputation McGolly Understand that people have a reputation McGolly. Oh, I have reputation really made these parties Where did I try to get free thing? Oh, you're about me to do it McGolly Yeah, she wants you to do it and then McGolly's like, oh you want to talk rumour? I tell rumour about you. Is this what you want? You want me to tell rumour about you? She lost that You know that McGolly just made that up by the way. I wish I thought it was funny too Oh hell no, you know Leanne bone so many footballers trying to get to her man She's probably got you know it well there was an insta back then I guess we'll go back to 10 types or polaroids or whatever She's got like giant 70s bush polaroids all over McGolly's shoeboxes McGolly will save that shit and just wait till later because she does a little come in handy window But McGolly goes McGolly's favorite thing in this for me was she goes Oh, you want me to talk about your reputations? She goes, yeah, tell me about my reputation McGolly And she goes, no, I won't tell you because I tell you it's your face I'm like, what does that mean? I like you are in her face I know she's like, I'm gonna go behind your back to talk to talk in your face. What? This shows crazy. And then dawn I like dawn came into the middle of it She's like, I'm here to talk about me. He has directed me I wasn't the bathroom the whole time. She was in a stall listening and then she comes out of the stall and she's like Oh, who's that? What's going on at here, Dolby? Has anyone seen Darby is she over at the buffet? Oh, you're fighting. Okay. Goodbye. Goodbye. Well, you're good with you. You're stupid. And then Lianne stands are going Whoa, Lianne, whoa Lianne, whoa, oh wait, we have to say by the way For like two weeks in a row we were talking about How Magali sounds like she's French She's she is from the Hague and as one of our listeners pointed out She is actually Dutch. It's not just that her husband played for For the Netherlands the team from the Netherlands. She actually is Dutch. So there it's settled So we just have to do your land a bit deeper and less Magali, you know what I think of Lianne, trash trash trash trash trash trash [chuckles] [chuckles] You know the sound do you make when you put things in the trash? [chuckles] You say about my reputation? I say about your reputation. You're about reputation? I am a member. I have a reputation. She is a woman. I am a woman. She like to yell. I like to yell. So it's like whoa. So I'm gonna go and just sit down and listen. I'm gonna listen to all of them and be quiet. Whoa, whoa. Whoa, Lianne. So fun. I cannot wait to see what happens. We both downloaded this season from the same place. So you know how they're all out of order? Are yours all out of order? Well, no, I watched this episode on my DVR. Oh, okay. So in the folder they're all out of order? Oh. You can't see the episode numbers on them because it just says real housewives. It says Cheshire. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I mean, it's not a mystery. You know, like no one -- it's not like I'm gonna find out some huge spoiler, but I don't even want to know what happens because they go crazy so fast. Imagine what they're gonna be doing in seven episodes. They're gonna be cutting each other at dinners. I mean, the things that they hate each other over now are not even big deals. It's like hardly like someone wanted to come to your charity event. Who cares? Yeah. Nothing. So I cannot wait. And there was one, I think it was towards the end of the season and they're all in these ball gowns at some outdoor party. And Lauren walks up all alone. She looks like she's gonna murder somebody. I mean, when that lady stops the giggling act, man, she gets Disney villain face. I'm like, oh, my God. I cannot wait until Lauren Giggle tells somebody off. Mm-hmm. I bet. Okay. You talk to me. You better double fake that to where you talk to me. What are you laughing, darling? Well, brah, well, brah. Oh, you're very well, brah. So that's it for sure. It is. So why don't we go on to, let's wrap this up. To touch base about below deck a little bit. Let's get into the below deck reunion. So, let's see. So the parts that I enjoyed, I liked when Rocky, towards the top of the episode, she was sort of accusing Captain Lee of having an alliance with Eddie and Kate. And I just love the way Kate just cuts her down. Okay. It's just like, it's not an alliance. It's a rank. It's a job. I just love when Kate does that. That just makes me so happy. Well, it's so true. She never gets-- Rocky never got it through this entire thing. She never once understood. Even when the captain laid it out as straight as possible and started yelling at her. And he's like, I'm saying her take responsibility. He did it. She did it. He did it. They did it. She's like, yeah, but like it was hard, you know. I had a job and then like the refrigerator wasn't stopped. And then like, remember when the air conditioning came out in my hair frizzed? Oh, I cried to mom for an hour. No. And by the way, when Captain Lee was scolding Rocky, one thing that I hate is that they cut like a shot of Eddie. And he was just being like, yeah, yeah. Shut up Eddie. Eddie is so on my should list. He's such a cocky bastard. I hated him on this hour of the reunion. I actually didn't see the first hour yet because I'm still so behind on everything. Oh, he didn't. I'm totally behind. I was going to ask you if we had recapped the whole hour first or not. I don't remember. I only watched the second part. I'm going to still watch the first part, but I've only seen part two. I thought it was really funny also when Connie was talking about Rocky. And she's like, she's like, I don't hate you. I just can't stand you and find you incredibly annoying. And you're just someone I would never want to be around. But you know, you're still a friend. People are friends like that. I'm in Rocky. Yeah, but like, I thought we were friends. You can be friends with annoying people. Oh. I also liked, I think at one point, like, didn't Andy like try to sort of elicit compliments? Like, we're being so mean to Rocky. Does anyone have like, didn't Rocky do something good or whatever? Well, you brought a lot of positivity, Rocky. So there's that some positivity. I was like, oh. You know, sometimes on Saturday morning, when you turn on the television, what would you do if there wasn't a cartoon on Rocky? You're like Bugs Bunny. Bugs Bunny is not a good waiter, though. [LAUGHTER] That's all folks. Bye. Bye. Amy, a couple of things. Just in general, I've already talked about this so much that I feel bad making you listen to me or anybody listening to me because I've already heard it. But go on. I'm going to just mostly try and comment off you. But Amy, the thing about Amy in general that just cracked me up was she's so serious. Like, she showed up so serious this time. And she's in her house was ball gown looking gorgeous. Like, she had those legs crossed in the big. I mean, she looked beautiful. And I was laughing because there's always that one like Leanne and Cheshire where it's the credits and it's just the one no one pays attention to. So she only gets the line like, I made a football cut. Yeah. Everybody else gets a model. And that was it. Andy would be like, hey, how you doing? It's really great to see you. So, Emile, you jerked off six times a day. Tell us about things like, Andy, can't keep my hands open. Okay. Great, Kate. You're looking good. You're looking beautiful. What's it like having a favorite color or whatever? And then it gets to Amy and he's like, well, Amy, you come to your hair. Okay. And then you move right onto the deck. You are such an asshole. Don't disrespect Amy. Poor Amy. I loved how Emile, well, again, there was a part where like Connie was just like talking about how dumb Emile is and how like, she's like, yeah, no, he's handsome. But like, he's an idiot. They kept on cutting to Emile and he had that look on his face. Like, he's like, am I supposed to be laughing at this or should I be offended? He just had no idea what to do. He just sort of kept on his eyes. He had them darting back and forth with like this goofy smile. He's like, wait now, is this a joke or is this a muffin? It's supposed to be offended right now. Well, he kept taking cues from what everyone else was telling him to say. He's so stupid. He doesn't know how to feel about anything unless somebody tells him which is why he was so easy to get used, you know? Exactly. So he's been used. Everyone's told him already and the internet, hello, has already told him he looks like an idiot. But then Andy says something like, so Emile, like, you're so handsome. But what is it like when you get screwed over? And he's like, well, I'll have to look at this. Rokey's my friend and I really love Rokey. And she's a good girl and I really love her. And this and that, I'm turning into Trusser now. But she's saying all this nice stuff. And then Amy's like, or somebody in my mind is Amy saying something like, but didn't she hurt your feelings, Emile? Oh, yeah. She had my feelings. And no one was freaked out. He remembered. Which changed. Yeah, he was like, it wasn't right. He's so dumb, but so beautiful. I also liked when at one point Connie called Rokey a cuckoo bird and then Emile could not stop laughing. He's like, oh, he's just a cuckoo bird. He was like cracking up on the couch for like everyone had like moved on and he's like still cracked up into his hand over cuckoo bird. So you don't know because you haven't seen it yet, but at the very beginning, he went and he's asking them all questions and he's like, so Emile, do you smell like sperm? Where did you get your suit? And Emile says, oh, thank you, Andy. It's my grandfather's suit and it's just so cute. Only Emile would show up wearing his grandfather's suit and then return it with sperm spank. It's the part where they started talking about him jerking off. And then he's like, well, I got to do it. I'm a man. And that's what I got to do. I got to jerk off, you know, a hundred times a day. That's what we do. Connie's like, yeah, it was really great being your roommate and having to like go watch the deck early every day so you could jerk off. And he's like, well, my man, that's what we do. I liked also. There was that one moment where like Kate and Rocky had sort of like a conciliatory moment. And so then Rocky did the crazy Danielle Staub hug moment, you know, remember when Danielle Staub hugged Jackie on one of the reunions and it was like super awkward. So Rocky like Kate said like one nice thing about Rocky and Rocky like stands up and gives Kate a hug. Kate like does not even stand up. She just sort of like accepts it like this limp rag. She's like, just see Kate being like, please don't hug me. Please don't hug me. Oh, she's going to hug me. She's hug me. All right. I'm not standing for this. I'm not standing. Just, that's just okay. They're there. Wow. She's not going to hug her back. Kate was like doing like she was like doing a protest like the like the like the occupy Wall Street protest thing where you just go totally limp. She was like, okay, if you want to hug me, you've got to pick me up and you've got embrace me. Like, even when you're nice, you're being unprofessional at least your consistent biggest gold star. I can give you. Unconsistent. Thanks, Kate. I forgive you. Let's hug. And then like Rocky charging you from across the way. Oh, my Lord. I don't blame her. She was probably terrified. So then there was a part where Ben came out. It didn't really interest me that much. It was just like the. All right. Yeah. All right. All right. Hello. And before we go, any further, I don't want to put my plan is a solid K. Everyone got it. Mike, please stop. No, nobody thinks that you're in love with Kate. Kate doesn't think you're in love with Kate. Kate don't need you to be in love with Kate. Okay. Animaniac. Take it back to the food truck. Fuck out of here. So, um, well, Captain and then the captain kept being like, Brian, because he'd say something rude. I don't know. There's no room for funniness. This is a yacht. Not a comedy show. Well, it's actually definitely a reunion show. You're not on a boat. That's all. Yeah. Life is a yacht. Mm. You better hurt. You better get to work. I'm giving you a one way ticket to a different life. Life is a yacht. Unless you want to live in a Walmart. So anyway, um, I feel like the meat of this was really about Rocky and Eddie. And the first bomb show with that Rocky said that she and Eddie hooked up twice after the show and, uh, everyone was like, whoa. And, uh, Eddie totally denied it, which meant it totally happened. I'm sorry, Eddie. You lost your deniability, um, like your ability to deny anything because you did that on the show and you were a liar and you're also a bad liar. He's like, uh, no, no, that never happened. I am going to deny that. Or he just laughs it off like she's being crazy. One thing we've seen is that she is crazy, but she, uh, isn't a liar. Yeah. Although she did say she hung out with Connie, like after the show and Connie said, well, that's weird. Okay. Did you read that blog that she wrote? Yeah. I couldn't tell she was being funny. Kate was like, no. I said, hey, here's my question. Do you think that she could have been being funny? And she goes, no, it's like, it's like, no, this is, let me show you what funny is this is funny. Yeah. So funny. Yeah. But what's weird though, because Connie does say out, I'm sorry, Rocky says outlandish things like in that blog. She's like, yeah. And then I went to France with all my supermodel friends. You're like, oh, shut up, Rocky. And then she puts a picture. She's like, oh wait, huh? Wait, what's real? What's real? What's not real? Yeah. She has it crazy. Well, when she started on the show, remember I said this girl, I couldn't commit to anything ever because she's had 20 dreams and she's like 20 every dream. She's like, and then this is my dream to be a chef on a bus. So, and here I am because I'm a trade chef, oh, it's my dream to be in a circus swimming around a bus. Like what? Yeah. How many dreams do you have? I'm an international assassin. I can't believe leftovers go well, I think, I think that, uh, in this case, I believe Rocky, more than I believe Eddie, Eddie, uh, Rocky has been, it looks like pretty forthright about this situation, this relationship, but she seems like she's been pretty honest and like she's been real. And Eddie is super shady. He keeps, he keeps accusing her of the one, like she's the one who caused it. And it's like really, it's like a really, Eddie just keeps on being really kind of misogynist dick, uh, sexist. And I did not like it at all, to be honest, when Ben is like, well, I gotta say, good on you. He's lethal. I'm, I can't, I'm doing treasures. I'm proud of him. I'm kind of proud of the boy. I was like, that's this, this is disgusting. You know, they are, they're patting Eddie on the back for keeping it secret and banging this girl when he's like sort of in a relationship and then, and then blaming it on her and making her see the world is still like that where there's still guys this douchey and there's a lot of them. Yeah. What else happened on here that was really do, I mean, Ben's always kind of a douche, but that was really, it's like a ton of douchey and I was, Oh, Vanderpump rules. I cannot believe these people act like this. Like, how can a man in 25, a young man in 2015 talk like that to a woman? What the hell man? Exactly. But I, for some reason, I feel like this was more offensive because I feel like these people are smarter, a little bit smarter and, uh, I did not like the, the whole sort of like giving, uh, Eddie a metaphorical high five and Andy Cohen was, I wish he'd actually been a little bit more vigilant because he's sort of like, you know, it sort of seems like everyone's kind of like giving Eddie a pass and everyone's blaming Rocky. And I was like, I wish he kind of pushed that harder because Eddie was really being cocky. He was making little assides. He was really blaming the woman. It was very old fashioned, very mad men. I just, I actually was really disgusted in a way that, uh, like a, like a, like a real life disgust, not like a, oh, this person annoys me on Bravo, you know? Yeah. It was a pretty sad statement for the world. Well, Andy isn't really much of a feminism anyway. And I'm supposed to stop saying feminist, but I mean, come on, it's Andy. And he was really pushing the Rocky thing the whole time. It's like, okay, we've got a villain. So let's just do this a million times. Every other question was to Rocky. It was like, okay. And then here's a, here's a guest that liked to slide. Rocky. What did you think about the guest on the slide? She's like, well, it was hard. Everyone's like, oh, you're stupid. I mean, every single other question was to Rocky, everyone, even when they didn't make sense because they can rely on her to be emotionally unstable. And that I don't like when shows give me somebody to dislike. And then they make me like them because they're so mean to that. It happens every time and I call for it every time and I know I'm falling for it. But it's mean, I don't like the Andy sitting up there as some old man talking to a really young girl, you know, what it's like to be screwed over and have your heart broken and all this shit. It's still like being an asshole to her. And they really didn't. And you know what? They didn't. I really feel like Eddie needed to have his come up in. I feel like the way he treated Rocky when he did not, and he called her crazy, the way he, he, he was pranced around. And then when he comes out with it, he's like, yeah, we fucked. It was such a, it was really so disgusting. Everything about it. What I think is where they were coming from and the reason that they weren't on Rocky side, aside from just thinking she's crazy and a liar at first, and probably thinking she's seduced him and all whatever horrible things that they probably think. I think the main reason they couldn't come on her side is because she fucked a guy with a boyfriend. Also, she fucked a guy on a boat. Now, if you're on a boat, I'm sure that's like doing theater or something like that. When you're at Silberstalk or wherever you're performing, there's like kind of an unspoken thing. If you, you see people do all sorts of things they shouldn't do, but you can't just go post it on Facebook. Like, it's kind of on the down low. No matter how mad you are, you can't just go, you can't have a secret affair with somebody and then be taught going and telling everybody. So well, she wasn't. I know that. She sounds crazy. Well, she didn't tell anyone until. She told everybody. Well, no, but she put a meal. No, but what I'm saying, what I'm saying is she didn't tell anyone until the situation got really bad. And she felt ignored or whatever. She felt ignored and it was, and I honestly, I get it because she was probably going through this like emotional, like, why is this guy? He's ghosted me all of a sudden. He's not talking to me. I have feelings for him and I've got no one to talk to. Like she probably was overwhelmed. Like, she needed to talk to someone. I don't, I honestly don't begrudge her and I don't think that he gets a pass just because she was chatty. Like maybe it was poor. Oh, I don't know. He doesn't get a pass. But it felt like they look like she's getting more vilified for that for talking about it. No matter what he did, like, if you're in a situation like that where certain things are supposed to be on the DL and then she's not being on the DL, they're all thinking, well, what about all the people I fucked in the fucking, yeah, either way, either way, she's being vilified more for talking about it than he is for really being awful, awful to her. And I just, I don't like that. That's me upset. But what I did like, this is like a really small part. But when they asked Captain Lee about it, he's like, well, I was disappointed. And then they cut to a clip of him going, I'm not going to lie. I was disappointed. And he's cracked me up like, they needed to have like video footage of him saying he was disappointed to prove that he was disappointed now. But then I was like, but I was like, you know, though, that's what he loves. He's like, yeah, that was some great disappointment. That was one of my favorite disappointed moments of the season. Let's have a nice montage of the captain's most disappointing moments. I've disappointed, well, disappointed in you. That's a real disappointment. Here's a point. Yeah. Well, this will be a real disappointment. So the last thing that I wanted to say one thing about this, anything real quick, this, I think another reason that this kind of got out of hand is because Eddie just said once he was caught, corrected, okay, this is after he knows he's been taught. He said, yeah, that sucked of me. I'm sorry. Whatever. Like he did his, he said, sorry to responsibility. He apologized or even still now when he's being an asshole, all people really want is you to say, I'm sorry. And then they'll move on even if they know you're not sorry because he keeps still saying the same shit. It's like, he's not really sorry, but he said, sorry. So they move on. That's really all you need. Rocky won't do it. They can't move on from anything because Rocky cannot understand that it's work. Everyone has to explain to her, like, this is a job. Like Kay was getting so mad and she, and he'd be like, so Kate, what do you want her to die? What do you want Rocky to die? And she'd be like, well, I don't want her to die. I would just like her to be better at ironing. Yeah. And then Rocky would be like, oh, you mean, okay, I'm sorry, I'm a horrible person. You know what, maybe I'll just hang myself, but then, you know, like, it'll be dirty. So I didn't want to do that to you, just stick up your ass. It's like, no, no one's being mean to your about your personality, Yoni. It's work. It's, yeah. So you're saying I'm a horrible person and everyone's being mean and they start feeling guilty. So Kate's like, well, I do love creativity. And yes, Oreo's on a salad or grenadine, whatever, but I admire your creativity. And Amy's like, I tried your salad. I loved your salad. Well, I like Kate's not saying that to people. I love your salad. I don't get it. Well, I liked Kate's housewives lines because she wrote like as if they were all housewives. So they, and they all had that that same sort of flow like I may be a da da da da da da da I not, but I also, but then for Leon, she goes tonight, I'm serving beef cheeks because I could imagine him like standing there like a housewife and going tonight, I'm serving beef cheeks. And that made me laugh. And that was a lovely way to end a great season of below deck. And a lovely way. That was good. That was a fun season and a lovely way to end a long podcast. Hmm. Just say goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye podcast. So thanks for listening. We will be back next week or if you're listening to this out of order, you could be, we might be back right now. So follow us at facebook.com/watchworkrapins, be sure to go to watchcrapins.com to find our social media and you can support us at patreon.com/watchworkrapins and subscribe, won't you? Won't you subscribe? Won't you subscribe on our iTunes? That way, this podcast will appear in your phone or your laptop or wherever. Automatically, you don't have to ask where's the next episode. It's going to come to you with the automatics. Automatics. I'm like, whoa. So everyone, thanks so much. Bye. You guys are like bye and then I'm like bye and then you are like bye and then I'm like bye. Whoa. Bye. Whoa. Oolian. If you like Watch what Crapins, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. My members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at Wondery.com/survey. Have you ever wondered who created that bottle of Sriracha that's living in your fridge? 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