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For Hers.com/crapins, hers weight loss is not available everywhere. Compounded products are not FDA-approved or verified for safety, effectiveness, or quality. Prescription required restrictions apply. Welcome to Watch What Crap Ons. It's Ronnie. I'm alone. Ben is out of town. So I just wanted to make a quick little note at the beginning here to tell you guys what's going on. Our first episode this week is a humongous Real Housewives of Atlanta special with Ms. Angie Thomas of the Deep Thoughts podcast. Hour and 45 of a Rojoa. We loved it. She also did this week's Thanksgiving bonus with me. We talked Instagram pages of Real Housewives died laughing. The next episode will be posted tomorrow, the next day, whenever you're reading this. It's probably already up. And that is a big one as well. It's Katie Kozorla, who is going to be on a new e-show called Second Wife. She's also a good friend of ours. You've probably heard her here a zillion times. And Ms. Julia Cunningham of Entertainment Weekly SiriusXM channel, who I met in the hallway at SiriusXM. And fast friends, we laughed our asses off. I've been loving this. Ben, I miss you though. Please don't take it like I don't love you because I do. So anyway, our schedule is a little different this week. We have Below Deck coming up, but there is a two-part reunion. And I'm lucky enough to get to record with Nadine Rajabi, who is a friend and producer on the show. And Ms. Kate Shastain of Below Deck. We'll be back to talk about both parts of the reunion. So hold tight. That is coming up next week, but it'll be a huge episode. And to make it up to you, we have an extra bonus, a bonus bonus. So there's two bonus episodes. This bonus is with Katie Kozorla, by the way. Man, we can talk. I mean, I think we were on the phone for two hours and 45 minutes today. That's a long time. Still we're laughing. And then we still kept talking afterwards. But I didn't press record. Anyway, so that is four full episodes this week. Plus a giant Below Deck next week. You know what, I'm going to do us all a favor and stop talking, so you can get to more of me talking. But this time with all the people! Thanks for listening. Go to WatchOutCrapins.com for our links. If you want the bonus episodes, go to patreon.com/watchworkcrapins. Check everything out on our Facebook page at facebook.com/watchworkcrapins. Love you guys. Happy Holidays. Enjoy this show. I sure enjoyed making it. Love you, MJ. [Music] Hello and welcome to the WatchOutCrapins podcast. Very special, almost Thanksgiving episode. I'm Roni Karam from Trash Talk TV. We have one of our best friends, Miss Angie Thomas with us. Hello, Angie. Hey, everybody! Before we even start, and I forget, please tell us your Twitter handles and your websites. Oh, sure. I have a couple of podcasts. I do one with the delightful David Clark and Grant, who's a recapper for Roni. And it's called The Deep Thoughts. Thoughts were all Atlanta watchers, so we all know what thoughts are. Them hoes over there. Yes, members. T-H-O-T-S. And that's kind of like a cable access. Cable access. We can talk about whatever. This is about every podcast. Pretty much. But that's every Wednesday. And then we also do an empire recap podcast called The Lion's Lair. And that comes out on Thursdays. Yes, and how are you liking empire this year? It's empire. It's consistently cookie. It's consistently cookie messy. It's getting really good, though, because Vivica Fox just came on. And she, I mean, she made up for about like five kind of crappy episodes in one scene. That's our girl. So she's going to go up against cookie. Yes, there's sisters. Oh, yes. The new episode coming up has Rosie O'Donnell. And she and Rosie O'Donnell and Cookie have a scene together. And Rosie O'Donnell had been in prison with Cookie. I love it. Yeah, I can't wait. Well, right now we have some for all voter talk about. Really quick. Go to WatchWetCrapins.com for all of our social media links. Come to facebook.com/watchwetcrapins to talk with other listeners and talk with us. And post your own links and talk crap all week. Talk on the live show threads. It says, well, come to patreon.com/watchwetcrapins for bonus episodes. We just recorded a really lovely bonus episode. When we went over some real housewives' Instagrams. Derinda. We dissected all the, our favorite housewives. Bethany, Kyle. Bethany. Which I kept one of those Gretchen memes up. Cause we were talking about them memes on Gretchen. We really didn't talk about Louisans, but. Have a wonderful day with nail polish by Gretchen. So fun. What else did we talk about on there? We talked about Mike Sivors. Oh, Shaw's a sunset divorce shocker. Yep. Well, look, I think he has a legit case to win that one. He married someone who had a different face. This is literally a different person. I did not marry this bitch. Who is this? She's still too good for him. Mike. I know. You know what? She could really do, she could murder somebody. And I would still side with her. Me too. And she's horrible. I don't want to hang out with a bit. Like, I don't want to share a shawarma with her, but. But she had, she had to put up with like five months of living with Mike without the cameras there. So yeah, she gets something. She's going to get that lease. Oh, yeah. What is he writing around in his big bus expensive car? Ducati makes cars now, Mike has one. Oh, no. I saw him outside the, or well, I saw him inside the Starbucks, but outside Starbucks was his van or truck thing. Oh, with his face on it. I think it was him and Reza at the time when they were doing the real estate or whatever. It was like the Shaw's real estate or something. We're swimming and going, then you can be swimming in a pool. If you go a bus. That's appropriate. Yeah. What every rich person. That's your market. Wow. Look at that bus passing by with luxury housing on it. Call that number. All the bus. Oh, by the way, have we called accidentes yet? Oh, now we should. I have things to say. You should have her guess has well been as long. Accidentes. Are Maria, is Maria, is that Maria the insurance lady? No, that's the, the, uh, the lawyer thing. It's like, I said it this. It's on the, it's like, call me. But then it was awesome. I think it's like Maria, the insurance lady. And, um, she looks like she should be on like, um, on Sabarogante, like on Unavision. She's, you know, like this gorgeous lady. She's got like, cute chair, huge boots, all thing. I'm always so curious, like, if you walk in the office, which we know is probably terrifying. Like, if she really looks like that. Oh, yeah. Cause you know that lady smells like that perfume. You know, when a lady walks down the street, who's all in that business thing and like, maybe a scarf and the sneakers, you know, to make it more comfortable to go the two blocks or whatever. Yeah. And it's just all too much. And she always has that width of perfume that stays down. It saves the whole block. Like, you have to pull away. When I stopped smoking, I'm smoking. I mean, I'm vaping now, but when I stopped smoking, that was the hardest thing was smelling people like that. I'd be like, I can smell you the whole block. Of course, that's probably. Smoking cigarettes down the block is probably way worse. But still, I need something to mask it. Now I can vape cinnamon toast crunch when people face. It's Joe. That's a fee of regard available at Walgreens. Smells like sex. Does anybody even make a real product? You know how they have those as seen on TV aisles now? I'm always in those aisles. Oh, no, those are the best. Drunken the aisle at CVS late on a Saturday, because it's only place that's open. Like looking for the right aid or whatever is up there. I'm right there with you. Oh, looking. I'm like, wow, this tuna sandwich has been sitting here. So it's going to stay. It looks amazing right now. What is there any fries? They have chips and they have condoms. OK, what else do you need on Saturday night? And sunglasses. And they clamped to your window in your car, because it's seen on TV. Everything's like a broom that can also play the radio. I am five stations. I love that I have a secret obsession. Not even a secret. I have a, I should say, an odd obsession with those infomercials for that garbage. I can watch them all day. And the thing is I get, because I don't have cable, but I was at, I was at someone's house recently that had it. And there's a new one for, and they're all basically like the same thing. They just like repackaged them. And the new one, the newest one is this, it's like a pressure cooker, but it's essentially a crock pot. Like a pot with a lid can spill or spit steam at you, kill your children. I love the fake audience too. They always go, whoo, whoo. He doesn't make those sounds. I can't even people get people to go see like an NBC sitcom. How are they getting 50 people? They're in Florida. Oh yeah, that's true. They feel, but this one was like, all the food was so disgusting, but there was like so much of it. You know, like they were making like chicken wings in a pressure cooker. There's nothing grosser than that. And he would like, he would open up the lid. He's like, look at this. Like, you know, it's some like God Fieri kind of guy. And he was like, look at this, look at all these wings. And they were so slimy and disgusting and like half raw. And he just keeps pouring them out of this like huge pressure cooker trough. And I was like, I can't stop watching that. Yup, those are so good and in the very near future, they're all going to be starring housewives. Because each housewife has their own stupid problem, or not problem, well, they have problems too, but their own specific product that they're selling or 10. Like we were going over Gretchen's in the bonus, but there's so many. And they're not even anything that they're coming out with. They're just like buying shit from China and putting labels on them. So they're going through these big catalogs like, why I like pink, I'm going to call it Slade Pink, because Slade's a pink. I will admit that I have bought a couple of skinny girl products. I think I bought a bottle of the wine just because it's actually not cheap either. It's in a mint. I mean, well, I don't know about your, I don't want to insult your fans, but Bethany, some of Bethany's wines are like $18. And this is at Target. Yeah, that's too much for us. All of us, I speak for every person who's a part of Watchtower Crap-ins. Us bitches drink the cheap shit and talk about how expensive that should be. I'm like, can you believe the nerve of that bitch? I will never trust someone who tries to charge me $18 for a bottle of sweet and low. Get out of here. No, but it's like, you know, it's like skinny girl wine. And it's like, what flavor is this wine? Yeah. How do you make diet wine? She's like, well, it's totally different. We make it out of grapes. So basically people step on grapes, and then we put it in jars, and then it sits around, and then we put it in a frosted bottle. So there you go. It's probably, yeah, you're probably, it's probably like half, half grape chasta, and like half wine. It's just little tiny amounts of Adderall crushed into Adder, and mixed in there. Because we were talking earlier about how she posts all these luxurious photos of- The most gorgeous food. Tons of food. It's like, look at the steak. It's like, it's always, it's never eaten, you know? Yeah. So I like that. It's never what she actually eats, which is, yeah, like a half of an Adderall, and like a pile of tissue paper. Yeah, and like a cup of black coffee, and maybe a half a think-thin bar or something. Maybe. On a cheat day. She's like, Luna, what do I have an eating disorder? Get out of here, Luna. Let's talk about who is not having eating disorder. Okay, so Real Housewives of Atlanta is so great. Now, I want to make it clear, I did not ask you to come to Atlanta, because you're my only pint friend. Why? I would like to say- Lazz, you tell, I don't care. I can say that right now. No, mine. It is the only one you will come on for. So I'd like that pointed out very clearly right now. It is so, everything else you're like, oh, I have to watch eight hours, and then I'll get back to you. I'm like, no, I'm not going to catch up on all of Orange County in like two minutes. Wait, I would have loved to come on, because I have so many feelings about Vicki Gumbel, some of the most complicated woman in America. I also have very strong feelings about Beverly Hills, but them bitches ain't back yet. Well, I'm about to do an hour about them with someone else. Whoa, boo. But you could watch us tonight and join us tomorrow. It'll all be releasing at the same time, darling. See how you feel. Maybe it'll be in the next segment. Maybe it won't. It's a mystery, but 9.99. Maybe I'll tell you who did it, Slade. So many of you asked. Okay, yes. Real Housewives of Atlanta. So it's perfect that you're on this week because there's actually stuff in the news. And by news, I mean, like comment sections. Right on. Yeah. A radar online. Crap and page and radar. Yeah, and a radar one. It's all on law. International news. Yeah. The top is the best thing, the best thing where it's news. Mom is from the 2015 American Music Award. Inside, Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton's first Thanksgiving together. They're together. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Is that true? Come on. Where you been? There's a giant turkey behind their heads, by the way. That's what everybody, it's like Thanksgiving. So they're like, just Photoshop a picture of that. Cut out the backgrounds and put a giant turkey in to make it special. Put an apple with it. An apple with a turkey. Yeah, she's getting over Gavin by getting under that big oak tree. I'm not mad at her. I think he's hot. I know everybody. I know everybody thinks he's like some big dumb redneck, but I'm into him. Oh, I love a big dumb redneck. I like him. I think. Oh, I love a man who takes the anger out on America. You know, the the plot of the white American male. In his in his big Ford. I'm just kidding, but I do love a big country man. Sorry, Angie. Now talk, please. I'm going to stop myself from speaking. Let's talk about Atlanta. Let's talk. No, no, no. I want to know what you think about Blake. Oh, no. I just think that for right now, I mean, she's a woman of a certain age. She has kept herself up very well. She's given us all those great songs. We all live no doubt. We all I think everybody's just like rooting for her. Yeah, I think so. Yeah. How can you hate Gwen Stefani? No, she's she's so sweet and fun. I mean, unless she's singing that I don't get that. Aww. Well, come on. I've seen Gwen on the show's live, you know, when they're like, and now here she is, Gwen Stefani singing live. And those songs on the radio, especially the no doubt songs, where she's just killing it. I mean, she sounds like a rock balladier on those. And then she gets out there and she's like, not good, not good. Well, we love Gwen. We love those three cute little boys with their little skater here. It is their cool outfits. And I don't know. I just I think they're just well, even if this is fake for the voice or whatever, who cares, why not? Just to show you where the world is at. Just where my computer is stopped right now on "Radarol War" says "Radarolah." Charlie Sheen HIV cover up "Alaskan Bush People." Vicky reveals she tried to shut down Brooks's cancer story. 23 epic gene scandals before HIV. That's that's America. There you go. There's your portrait for Thanksgiving. Thank you. Thank you. We're done. Well, with a big turkey behind it. All right, real housewives. So it's a good weekend for that because there's a lot of stuff happening. Kim feels house was foreclosed on apparently. Do you know anything about this? Tell me. No, I just read that too. Just it was saying that they they fork. And it wasn't even that much wasn't it like $90,000? Well, let's see here. Oh, this is not even recent. These people are such jackasses. I know, but well. They make it sound like this just happened. Like she came on the show because she was drowning. And it's a bravo because I was going to say, you know, bravo is like the new extreme home makeover. They just save like poor people. They just happen to be real housewives. Come on, Shirei. We'll finish your house. Give us a few fights. We'll get you that pool, darling. I do. I mean, it was from a couple of years ago. Six. Oh, it's been that long. Yeah. Rookie Real Housewives Blah lost her Atlanta area home to foreclosure, according to court records. The property in question is not the home you see on the show. It's the former home field shared with her ex-husband, Lawrence D Freeman. Oh, okay. The couple fell behind. Yeah, they fell behind blah, blah, blah. Went in default in 2009. Yeah, so whatever. So just maybe like a bad divorce. Who knows? Why are you going to pay for that? If you're not even going to live there. Why you want to live in a house? Your husband cheated on you and if that's what happened. Or even if something bad happened, you still want to get the hell out of the house. Yeah, exactly. Take it, bank. I'm done with him. Take the man too. Yeah, I don't know. I still, I mean, when we get into the show, like, I don't know if this is a good fit. Yeah, well, we can get into the show right now because the other gossip is pretty much coming up anyway. Let me say. Okay. Feds grant, Feds granted access to Canty Burris' house to see some mellow night as motorbikes. Now, of course, my first reaction is LOL. You put it on national TV and you stood in the garage. Exactly. He stood in the garage in front of said stuff. What but? Then you had a scene where Phaedra says bluntly, he's hiding assets and you're helping him. Like hello. And she's like. Canty's squeaking. The thing about it is, is I love the Phaedra and candy. Interactions are so good because candy is one of my all time favorite housewives. Like she's, I, there's very little to dislike about candy. And I do think that candy is really, really smart. But unfortunately, like even candy, candy is a very, like savvy person. But you really can't go up against these like kind of, like dirty lawyer tricks. And Phaedra will pull those out in a second. Do you know what I mean? I think the reason that candy and Phaedra are so close, if you, candy has really opened up and been honest about her life, no matter what. Like her mom's a horror show. The fact that she put her mom on TV and then stood up for her instead of ever going against her mom. Like she's really always stood up for her mom, you know. I mean, I think that that shows somebody who really just wants to understand a difficult woman because Phaedra is manipulative and tricky. It just like, just like Joyce. And no, I think Phaedra just slips right into her lawyer mode when she needs to. And just like when they were having that conversation and she just went her default was like, well, you know, my husband was out in the clubs with your husband taking money out of my baby's mouth. Like that's a classic like lawyer kind of thing to say. Just like setting her up with the whole thing with the motorcycles. Like if Phaedra has to, like she's, I don't care if they are friends, Phaedra will go there. Oh yeah, for sure. And candy knows that because whenever Phaedra says stuff like that, candy is just like, oh, whatever. Like she knows she's going to say that. She knows how she is and she still likes her. Like she can deal with the most difficult people in the world. She's like, okay. So basically you completely betrayed me. Pretended you didn't know me, whatever. And now you're just going to cry in my office and we're going to be okay. Okay, I'm down. I'll do that. And the other thing that I think about the reason candy is so interesting is because you're right. The thing with the joys. And number two, don't forget candy was in a girl group with like four other girls for years. And every time I'm watching that, I think about this because I'm like, she has really honed her negotiating with like crazy women's skills. And I can because you know, girl groups are notorious. Oh my god. And Vogue. Do you remember that? Oh yeah. And Vogue was like a group of hairstylists that would harmonize together at work and started a girl band and became hugely famous. And then oh my god. Oh, they always fight and they always break. They never sustain. Oh my god. It was ugly. And I just imagine every time candy's sitting there, just kind of like listening to whatever's going on. I'm just like, she has been through this with people that are probably like even crazier. Exactly. Over smaller things. Yeah, she knows Phaedra's deal. But I think candy is less worried about what people think and more worried about her family. You know, she doesn't really care. Like if all the girls hate her, that's what I like is she's kind of tough one because she's not as needy as everybody else. Candy is needy for like the coin part. You know, like she she definitely gets out there and has a million products and hustles and stuff like that. But she doesn't just slap her name on some crap from China, like the other ones we were talking about earlier. She actually, you know, her podcast is content. And she's like, OK, dildos, who does that? You know, I know dildos. I'm going to do it. You know, she's at least coming up with new things. I don't think they're just like dildos. She bought out of a catalog from China. I think they're actually ones that she was like, now see. I had to do a defense night here. Y'all, thanks for coming to my party. Yeah, a little bit. Can't do it. I can't do it. But yeah, she sells those sex toys. My god. So what was happening this week? OK, let me start at the beginning. Now that we're 21 minutes into the podcast. [LAUGHTER] Wow. Let's start the chat. What do you think about the traditional nativity scene in America? Go. Just kidding. OK, let me see here. Trophy wife, Candie Phaedra. OK, colonic? Is that where we started? Oh, that's where we started. And yeah. Oh, god. We start with a Phaedra. Phaedra's idea. With a gut cleaning, of course, Phaedra. That's-- she's going to get Portia back forever, you know? Oh, no. This was-- that's what I'm saying. Phaedra is like, Sheydra as we like to call her. Meon, she knows exactly what she's doing. She's like-- Most of Amy called her that, right? Oh, yeah. Shady, Shady, Phaedi, Phaedi. I'm going to hold you a shit hostage. Mm-hmm. It's like, well, I thought we could get together and stick a hose up your ass. Well, there's a very heavy metal blanket on top of you. Yeah. And I'm going to sit here and, like, make you confess everything to me once that. [LAUGHTER] Damn, she's good. And Portia. What? I don't need to poop. What are you doing? And Phaedra says, There are girls in our circle who are so full of poop. They got specks of snickers on their face. Kenya. Portia. So this doctor's whole thing was really awkward. Phaedra's like, Welcome. Thank you for coming to see my doctor. They call her Dr. Poop, or the Poop Doctor. What is it? Dr. Poop. Or the Poop Doctor. And she's like, Yes, that's right. I'm the Poop Doctor. Oh my god. You have a bus, too? Put Dr. Poop Doctor. [LAUGHTER] Honey, after we look at that beautiful home on the hill, let's go shit into a tube. How about that? Sounds great, my rich wife. Uh, Phaedra. You don't like things up your butt? These two. Phaedra's like sex-ass. Look at a virgin. What does that mean? I ain't a Mary. [LAUGHTER] But they're both always trying to prove to everybody that they're having sex. My favorite housewife thing, my favorite real housewife thing, is when they try to make us believe that their vagina still are in tip-top shape. It's like, that's all anybody cares about. They're like, listen, my life made me fall apart, but my vagina's working. It's like, thank you. Yep. Thanks for letting us know. So, and you're like, ah, the worst leaking, but you know what? I have a penis inside of it. All the ways to have this apartment. [LAUGHTER] Oh, OK, so anyway, what were they even talking about in there? I just wrote poop down. Oh, wait, lay down. I've never pooped laying down before. [LAUGHTER] I never pooped laying down before. [LAUGHTER] Wow. Phaed! And then they stick it up her and start sucking. She's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. She was making her-- I just said that Phaedra was like holding her hand, and she was just like-- I don't remember it was a confession. It was something she was basically getting portioned. Well, she's like, so what do you think about the party where everybody was talking about your boyfriend? Oh, right. You know, because the last time we saw last episode, portion was like-- Give my trophy, congratulations, baby. I would like to congratulate to literally you with an award, a soccer award, for your team, whose most valuable team. Yeah, and someone wrote in the comments on Facebook, why is she wearing the colors for the wrong team? Yeah, because she doesn't know. It doesn't matter. [LAUGHTER] Let's have a cowboy party and my friend who plays volleyball for the Cowboys to take this. Oh, my God. I just turned her into Gretchen, and keep it there. They're the same. Same size as the coin. It's the same size as the same coin. It's a hoarier version of Gretchen. We all understand. Gretchen's kind of settled down now. Yeah. She'll get her slayed. Don't worry. It'll be bladed. Yeah, that's basically what she's looking for, I think. Someone to file. Although, here's the difference, though. Gretchen is a self-made business lady. I mean, Gretchen is smart enough to know how to hustle money out of Richmond. I don't think Portia-- maybe she sort of is. But I also-- like, I do think Portia probably really doesn't like that guy. Well, there's a business. Poor mentoring. Come to Gretchen, Christine, who I'm mentoring. I'm going to teach you everything you need to know. And I'm going to do it wearing slayed pink nail polish. Totally. Yeah, you need to start teaching some bitches. But yeah, Portia is-- Portia's been kind of hoeing it. Gretchen's calmed down. I mean, she's with slayed. Because you've got money. She's got money already, yeah. Well, all that money. I mean, I don't know how much that ended up being. Because I think there was like a lawsuit with the kids, wasn't there? I think she did get money. And then, I mean, even if it was just like a million bucks, she parlayed that. And then she was on the show. She had the show. Parlay. Parlay. And then she said that she used her-- because you remember when she went-- why are we talking about Gretchen? It counts. It's on Bravo. My point is just that I do think that Gretchen is a hustler. And I think that Portia knows how to kind of attract them in. But I don't know if she knows how to necessarily keep them. Well, nobody wants to just feel like they've checked all your boxes and now you're going to put them in a little crate with a water bottle. What the hell, man? She finds these men and she just jumps on them and wraps them up like that alien lady. Who's that blonde model who played that alien lady who just like have sex with men, but then like attack? It's a grand claim. I don't even know. I don't remember. I'm so sorry for saying that. I'm such a stoner. And we're doing this at nighttime. I'm like, wait a second. What was that movie with that blonde? Basic instinct, ice picks, frozen. Idiot. OK, yeah. Anyway, Portia just gets on these men. She's like, it's a man. It's a man. It's a man. A man with a job. A man with a big account. That's right. It's like any man who can pay a lease this bitches. She's like, he paid for the cupcake wine. And that's the finest wine ever. You trained her to cupcake in the wine. Actually, she paid for that. He just showed up. I know she paid for it because she called it the finest in the hotel. It was probably not-- she was talking to nobody. There's a finest cupcake wine at all the fourth floor. You can come get the plates from all the caviar you cooked me. And please take these golden bottles of champagne down and bring up the finest bottle of cupcakes. Like a whatever bitch. We'll be right up. We'll pour it. Love every minute of it. I would say Portia just wants to be loved. But I don't even think she cares. I think she just wants a man to put money. And then she can be married. She's one of those who's more attractive to be married. But there's no long-term plan. That's no long-term plan. But you know what? I think sometimes when you a ho, which-- She's accused of literally being a ho, by the way. I'm not just saying that in a gross way. Like she's literally kind of a ho. So when you're a ho, it works a little different. You mature later. You know, you get a business. And Gretchen, how many old men is Gretchen going to fuck to get money? She's like, she's done that. You can't go work at Applebee's twice. Once you leave, it doesn't matter. Even if you just move to a chilis, there is no going back. You know what I mean? Like, eventually you have to learn another skill. True. Now she makes lipstick. [LAUGHS] Now I research things on China. And then I put them into Google Translate. And I always tell myself, what's the point of waking up? If you're not waking up with a smile about your nail polish. So yeah, I don't remember what Bader was talking to her. I get-- they were talking to her. Oh, it's her man. Because at the party, everybody was dissing her man. And so Portia was kind of trying to defend it. But she's like, yeah, they were talking about the transgender diesel, like whatever. Like, who cares? Whatever. Like, he told me he likes that movie. So whatever. I mean, cars turn into robots, so what? Don't judge my man. It's not transformers, darling. It's transgendered prostitutes that he's sleeping with, darling. Which, you know, who cares? A prostitute's a prostitute. I think if your boyfriend's anywhere sleeping at the prostitute, that's bad, right? That's a problem. But at least-- OK. Did you-- did you-- did you happen to catch some of the little rape joke? What was it? Which she said, we're going to run a train on that, or something like that. And I was like, oh, that's funny. What does that mean? We're going to run a train on it. Run a train? That's like when like 20 different men have sex with one woman. They call that like running it. Like the accused with Jody Foster. I'm not joking. No wonder she didn't know what the underground railroad was. Just stay away from train stories. You can't just change the meaning of words, Americans. Right? Running a train. For Portia, I thought she was doing her family a service. She's like, what? I'm helping. Just like grandpa. It's like, no, no. You misunderstood. Yeah. Your grandpa was not running trains. But then they have what we were talking about. Candy and Todd having this recon. And you know, it's so dumb because, yeah, now the-- I can't believe that they are that stupid. Who, Candy and Todd? Oh, yeah, that's the next thing. So Candy and Todd are in bed. And Candy is in her sleeping cat. I love it. I love when she wears that. Because the doors reminds me of the stories of the olden days when someone's making noise outside and some lady comes out with one of those. And it's like, blah, blah, blah. Gels at you. That kid's-- And now it's like Todd's excuse for not fucking her risk because she had her bonnet on. Yeah, right. Well, I could see how that would make it awkward now that we've actually seen it. That thing's huge. It's like she's going to play Patsy the next day. It's like, what's the green eye under there? What are you tenting a city under there? Get out of here. The head under that bonnet paper. Oh, your little mini nikes and all your little toys and all your everything. Those baby gap certificates don't come. Don't just fall out of the air, all right? OK. So they're talking about the situation or the conversation with Phaedra. And then it's cutting between the poop station and the candy and Todd in bed station talking about it. And Todd's basically like, look, that was my doing whatever. She has no reason to be mad at you. Give me my money or whatever. Oh, right, right, right. Yeah. So what do you think about this situation? I mean, not the money because Phaedra does owe him money. I think she admitted she's going to give him the money, right? She probably just admitted and won't give it to him still. She'll probably pay him back in Donkey Donkey videos. Like a truck will show up in the house with like 8,000 tapes. She's like, I've got your headstone covered. Love, Phaedra. It's worth $90,000. You're welcome for the extra $75. She's going to pay him in Donkey booty $1. It's Donkey booty $1. They're only good. They're good at doing. They're doing terrible. Here you go. It's mud pat. Oh my gosh. 89,000 Donkey booty dollars. So what do you think about the actual sitch, which is them hiding Apollo stuff? Do you think Phaedra has a right to be pissed? Well, I don't care so much. I just think like, like I said, I love candy. But like, this is when she just gets messy. That's not a good idea. I kind of, I mean, I sort of understand, I guess, Todd has some allegiance, but like, I don't put it in a storage unit, like, no, I mean, you have a family, like, don't bring that shit home. No. And they're going to keep it for, what, eight years or something? I don't like that. But I would just feel guilty, like, let's not forget, he stole from people. Like all people, like, they, they, he's supposed to be paying restitution with a fuck your motorcycle. So in general, what do you think about the candy not wanting to take the kids to see him in prison thing? Because her stance on that is pretty much F that, my key screwed up and he's the one who wrecked the family. So why the fuck should I go to prison? Nope. Phaedra saying that. Yes. Who did I say? You said candy. Oh my God. I'm turning into my grandmother. I'm not. So what do you think? I don't know. I mean, that's a tough one. I don't know. I mean, it's more twisty and turny. I think my mind changes on it all the time. And mostly because people comment on it, you know, who have family members in prison or whatever. And they're like, that's bullshit. He's a father. And that's it. Like you married him. You knew he was a criminal and you take him to jail. Like, I think that I know this is really. I think if it were me, I would run out and out in the streets. And I would honestly try to meet the most stable down to earth. Maybe not. She has plenty of money. She doesn't need money. I think that if the smart thing we're going to do would be to try to find, not go looking for some dick, but go in the literal sense. Go and try to find a really stable, nice, you know, probably religious type guy who would be willing to come in and adopt those boys and establish a loving, safe home for them. And that's kind of, I think, the best thing she should do. Just put herself aside and meet a really nice, normal, nerd type dude. I think that that's really good advice for a normal person. Like I think that that's actually obviously very intelligent advice, but we're talking about Baedra who knew this guy was a criminal and who was possibly in jail the first time for her. I think she should just write, unfortunately, I think Apollo's ways and who he is is just ingrained so much because even once he gets out, they're going to be older. And I would hope that if they have like a positive father type figure, like they have a shot of growing up to be, you know, like really good, like good model citizens and they can kind of process what their dad did. But I'm just worried that like, I think they'll be able to anyway with her and the mom, don't you think? I don't know. I'm just saying, like, I think if that's your only male kind of figure is tough, and I think that they'll be confused, especially what I'm saying is that she's going to isolate them anyways. She needs to put somebody in place to be a father figure. Well, I guess where I don't see that ever being able to happen is I've always kind of looked at the situation differently. Like I look at it that Faedra is a very independent woman who didn't want to deal with a man's bullshit and basically got a hot Apollo that she knew was trouble and that she could kind of control and got the baby. And then when he totally babies and family and all that. And then when he did, of course, what he's going to do, can't change the sports on the leopard unless the leopard gets misspoke. Thanks, Chesha. But you can't really change someone that drastically. So when he inevitably fucked up and worse, like totally betrayed her and was going to strip clubs and God knows what he was doing. And you know, Faedra is no dummy. You know, she had passwords to every email account. She knows she had to find my friends on his ass. So I think she was like, okay, you fucked with the wrong bitch by now. And he's gone now. So I think it was just kind of a sperm donor in the first place is my point. I don't think that she ever really planned on it being a long term thing or if she did plan on it being a long term thing, she was okay with it if it wasn't. Maybe. Who knows? I like to think people are much more diabolical than they really are, but I think she's pretty diabolical. Well, another baby daddy showed up in the next scene. Okay. Where are we now? We are. And you can talk for five hours about each. Cynthia, we're back at the Cynthia Bailey townhouse. Oh my goodness. Is this the part where they were like, look at this beautiful, beautiful scenery. Cynthia is staring at a garden. Oh, no, that's at the end. Oh, no, no, no. This was when Cynthia and has her ex or her. I don't know if they were Mary, but Noel's dad comes over because they're discussing Noel's. Oh, the hot tutor. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Why is Noel being homeschooled? That was confusing because they made it sound like he was just a music tutor at first because she's suddenly interested in singing because Cynthia said, well, now she's, you know, she's always, she's always been a singer, but now she's actually thinking of doing it for real. Like, so she is home before that to believe to mean like, you know, like real child stars, like all those kids on modern, but well, not that kids, but like the kids on modern family or something, like they need tutors because they're filming a, they're on a show already. They can't go to school. They, they're busy making all that money, but like that's sort of the context I was taking that to mean. You don't get a tutor when you just want to get a job. When you're like, mama, I want to think there's no such thing as a tutor for auditioning, like for an auditioner. Who knows if she's even doing that? I think that that's, to me, that sounds like a very Cynthia convoluted excuse, something else is going on. Oh, really? Why is that kid? Yeah. Why is that kid not in school? I don't know. Maybe she's getting shit from the other kids. I don't know, but it's weird how they, it's weird how they keep wording everything. Yeah. They're like, hello. So you're a hot, you're a hot music tutor because now she's really interested in singing and he's like, yeah. And she's like, but you're also good at biology too. Yeah. You're good at science. Yeah. And you're good at math too. Home schooling her. This girl's doing everything. Thank God. It's not some of you. I mean, she did have the smart, you know, she was smart enough to actually know like, I need to hire a teacher. I think, no, my feeling was that seemed like a very far, because Noel does not seem to be like a, well granted, we see her for like two minutes, but she definitely smart. She doesn't really have her on the show that much. Noel seems to be a very normal, sweet kid. So I'm just really curious why she's being pulled out of school. And I think that's what's happening. I don't think she's homeschooling because she's jet setting around doing, doing the whiz on NBC. I think that she has been pulled out of school. I don't even think those kids actually get to, they probably still had to go to school. Yeah, they were like, oh, we wrapped out like a month ago. No, I think it's something's happening and that they had to either take her out or she doesn't want to be there. And I'm just so used to people saying homeschooling now, but I don't even think twice about it. Seems to be so widespread. Yeah, but that's, but the serious, I've seen that it's usually a kid who has like some kind of real social, socialization problems. You mean when it happens later in life, like when it's not, when they're older kids, right? Because a lot of younger kids are. But just in general, it's usually kids who have some kind of, like on the spectrum, like maybe ask burgers or something, or are you live out somewhere, either where the schools are really, or you're like some fringe, weird, religious person. I think it would just be hard to do it if you're, if you're only with Cynthia. Like I, I know I have a close pair of friends, brother and sister who were homeschooled. And they always, I didn't know till I'd known them for a while and they're like, oh yeah, we were totally homeschooled. And I said, you know, that's why you seem like twins. Because brothers, I've known a couple of pairs of siblings that have been homeschooled. I knew a couple of, a couple of them in El Paso as well. And super nice and everything fine. They weren't freaky or anything, but they definitely were like little twins. They have like little secret languages where they would give each other these looks that kind of, you weren't born at the same time. Why are you like that homeschooling? Yeah. Something's going on. Anyways, I thought that was very unusual, but it was a good excuse to see Leon still gorgeous. Oh my God. And actually seems like normal and a good dad and down to earth and yeah, he does seem really nice. I like his advice. He's like, we got to talk. She says, oh, you saw the video. Yeah. She's like, you read your lines. Yeah, of course. Everybody saw like he cares. He's like, okay, I guess we should talk. Everybody is sending me pictures of the video. They're like, okay, here's your $5,000 now just there and you know, stare into a light. He's like, okay. So she starts talking about her ex, which, you know, everybody loves their ex to come over so you can talk about your current. Exactly. And he basically said, look, you always walk away. From every situation. And at some point, you're going to have to learn to stay with the man because this time you got married. Yeah, he's like, punch out by who in their right mind would say if your friend sent you this Instagram, but you still don't, is that like the first thing anyone's ever sent you about Peter because there's a lot more. Yeah. So check your message. Boo. He's probably got like a gig of shit that people have sent him about Peter. It's like Peter caught fucking the window drunk downtown. What? So like shit, that doesn't even make sense. Yeah. Peter drawn a pig at the wet in the wild. I think Leon is definitely like Peter, she's your, he's, this is your problem now. I'm out. Yeah, I just, I think he's kind of like, Oh, well, yeah, because I've probably, if she divorces Peter, he'll have to deal with her a lot more. Um, well, this episode eventually gets to Peter. So we'll talk about that a little bit more, but I think, uh, cause I can't wait to get to that part. Yeah. What you talking about me? So do it now, uh, but I love that his whole attitude is, well, enjoy that bed. You made like, I'm glad no, no, well, we'll be home to bring you, you know, fruity pebbles in bed while you're lying in it, cause that actually does seem like, well, anyway, celebrity fun run. Oh boy. Your sister and mother tried to stop you from getting married at your wedding. Okay. Like literally at your wedding, they were like, Oh, should we tell her, should we tell they not decide the marriage certificate or whatever, like that matter anyway, okay. Celebrity fun run. Don't give up on Mr. Ben. It just takes longer than a minute, but I mean, it's tricky. But once you learn it and totally worth it, justice, race justice. Okay. Um, Noel thrilled. Noel loves a hot man on below deck. There was a hot, there was, who did she like on there? I don't think of any of them as hot, but she was like, yes, sir, like she fell in love. And then on this one, she fell in love with the tutor. That girl's gorgeous. Oh, they both were. I mean, they were both pretty cute. The guys. Yeah. Good taste. Good taste. Noel. Anyway, Porsche celeb track meet with sister, oh no, which is so funny because if you show up to a celebrity fun run and you're the celebrity, what does that mean? I was like, oh no, this is one of those things where like Porsche is the celebrity. This is a fun time. It's to support Duke, um, it's a, it's to support Duke's volleyball team. Yeah. Fun. This nation. I'm basically an athlete and they show her trying to run. Oh, no. Oh, good. It was pretty funny. So you don't bend. What? I don't know what I'm writing. I'm writing so much during this. She was trying to, she was doing those stretches and then there was that like kind of young teenage boy who was like, supposedly staring at her, which she was probably, that was probably all edited, but I don't know. He probably just saw something shiny on the ground. Exactly. What you like in here? You need to go to the locks, Mike, get you a key to my heart. And a candy show that all I remember was candy showed up in a t-shirt that had doughnut on it. And by the word doughnut, I don't even know what else is that. I love that she can sell her brand by wearing a hole and also something delicious. I predict candy will be coming out with something sweet soon. Probably. Um, cause that's all candy is another promoter. She would only be wearing a doughnut shirt if she had a donut in the pipeline. It's got to mean something. Yeah. So, uh, I just wrote, "Porsy doesn't understand races." Why, we gotta keep running back and forth. She doesn't understand really. That's so stupid. Okay. I don't know why I'm running so much except I started writing, "I love watching Portia get so jelly over her sister's pregnancy." Candy's like, "Man, this is hard being out in this heat with this pregnancy." So she's like, "Yeah, being pregnant so hard." Okay. Can you enjoy whatever this is, enjoy your fun run. Oh, so, oh, Candy and Portia start talking about Portia's, everybody talking bad about Portia's man. She's like, "Everybody should support my relationship because remember how I'm so supportive of everybody?" Candy's like, "No." She's like, "Bama, everyone, everybody talk about you and Todd all the time. You didn't like that." Candy. Candy tells us, "Uh, I run a background. Check on Todd. I knew I had his credit score. I knew where he liked to park on his block." Like, "You know, Candy didn't just marry some idiot." No. She's like, "I knew Todd's FICA, okay, before we got married." So she's like, "Get off my ass." And then Candy says, "Well, remember that we were the ones who told you that your last husband was terrible and you didn't listen." She's like, "No, you didn't." Yeah, she'll never listen. And then they get flashbacks when they're all like, "We don't like Cordana. What do you mean?" What? But he let me get in the car. The only reason I'm talking to you is because Cordana let me, and I'm proud of him. Proud of him for that. I would say this in front of him if he'll let me speak, but we hate it. Portia. She's like, "I don't remember that, what?" So I just like on this show that they're kind of, they made up, they kind of seemed to all be friends, but they're still willing to stab each other and then just like hug. It's the scene, it's the scene, you know, needs it, they'll, they'll, they'll just drop everything inside. Except, uh, I don't even know what I'm going to say because I've moved on to the word Marlowe. And I was like, "Oh yeah, please, let's get a Marlowe because I love Marlowe." I actually really like her. I don't know why. Um, I've always liked Marlowe, okay? She was a bit much at the random, when she randomly showed up at that baseball stadium. What was that? It's like some baseball game. Nini's like, "I, because I am an international actress with some fame and fortune, Meryl Streep has invited me to play ball for the Cleveland Ducks." Whatever it is. She's just such a baseball stadium and Marlowe's like, "Nini, Nini, like coming out in nowhere, like would you come from the popcorn stand? Where the hell did you even come from?" She's like, "Chasing Nini. You're going to fight with Nini." She's like, "Mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm." I love that because Marlowe is kind of a good foil for Nini because we'll just, in physical statue, statue, like Marlowe's actually like, I think as big as, like as tall as Nini. She's sort of like Nini, but a little, she's more polished. Do you know what I mean? At this point, I would agree, because she was a little rusty there for the first couple of years. Yeah, no, I know. But she, right now, she's very polished. I mean, you know, some call it polished, some people call it medication, I mean, I think she's found a good online pharmacy, personally, because that girl looks like she's got a couple oxy in her coffee. She's like, "Hello." Whatever it takes. I was like, "Whatever princess Grace, where did you come from?" She's like, "Welcome to the Kenya more event." No. What do you mean? Oh my God. This event. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. Well, it wasn't. Well, they did have a passion art. Or what was their name? Passionate. Passionate. Passionate. I don't even think it. Passionate. It was a passion. I wrote down Passionate, but last time I called, I like, got, I had a monologue about someone using two D's in his name, and he didn't. So apparently I read things wrong all the time, but I think her name's passionate because I thought, "Please let her be boring." And she was. And I wrote down this. I'm sure. I guess this was Kenya. I actually said, "This is my vision of hair." And side note, you know that mean, can you get our hair done at the same place in LA? You do? Where? Yes. I'm not going to say it. Fantastic, Sam. You heard it here first. When she used to live here, so, you know, this was a while ago, but she was the regular at Massalon, and apparently, like, she does actually have, like, really beautiful hair. I think she puts a little something in there, but she does have, like, apparently, like, very beautiful hair. Yeah, she sure does. Yeah. She's building an empire. Yeah. I don't know. So I say empire. Bottles of water. She's building the first black water, the first real black water. She's like, "She's going after the wrong market here. Finally, a black water that makes sense." I buy it. And she also says, "I love when people make these grand pronouncements. She goes, 'Everything has to go right.'" And I was like, "Okay, here we go." I need this to be the vision. This means to display the visions of my dreams. Do you understand? And passionants, like, I do. I really do. And Cynthia goes, "Well, I'm that passionate. At Cynthia's successful launch party for her line of gas station sunglasses." It was her idea to come down the staircase wearing a bikini, and I thought, "That's glass." What the hell, Kenya? You basically walked up to some bitch, like, a week ago, and we're like, "Could you do that?" With big wireless providers, what you see is never what you get, somewhere between the store and your first month's bill, the price you thought you were paying magically sky rockets. With Mint Mobile, you'll never have to worry about gotchas ever again. I mean, how many times have you felt like, "Oh, this has been such a great deal." And then at the end of the first month, you're like, "What just happened?" Yeah. You look at the charges. 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You know, I need you to understand the deepest need in me, like a couch, or maybe some plastic crystals that he got on a plant over there. Passionate is like, "Yes, we'll make them understand." Then somebody was saying like, "Can you start making, of course, can you have decided that like she's going to take down charade?" It's actually really smart because you know, charades are really strong. She's kind of like Bethany. She comes on, all eyes are on her and Kenya knows she's got to like, take her down. She did the same thing. She didn't do the same thing with Nini. She did go after her, but she gave it a little minute. With this one, Bravo is like, "Okay, do you want to meet the only woman that ever scared the life out of Nini Leaks?" Here she is. Actually here are them both. You're going to be friends with one this season and the other one, you're going to attack me. It's like Shiree and Marlow, the most terrifying people to Nini, the people that she's literally run away from, covering her face with the newspaper like she's being chased by TMZ. Let me be. I need my privacy. Like Nini. Nini. She said that they should throw Shiree a rent party and then she also talked about Shiree being attacked in the dark people through her car. She's so evil. I'm trying to look through the... I'm writing so many notes for this. I don't know why. Marlow and Contenia. Marlow and Continia. What am I? What am I even typing? Yes, she was there too. Continia. Passionate. They're all there. Continia. Next page. My passion needs to come through. Marlow and Kenya pretend to talk about it. I don't know if they should trust passionate. I don't know if we should trust passionate to come through with my dream. Rent party. We got off on the wrong foot. Yeah, she's like, "Maybe we just got off on the wrong foot. Everyone knows Shiree has dirty feet from looking around her brow pretty and she can't hit her." And thanks, you know, don't ever forget Kenya was Miss America, so the thing that's so funny to me is like she says the most evil, nasty, horrible Joan Crawford shit, but she says it and she's got this beautiful, like million dollar smile on her face and she's tossing her hair and I'm just kind of like- And then I dream of Jeannie outfit. Totally. What did you do when she was doing her confessional on this one? She was full on I dream of Jeannie. It's so good. Amazing. Yeah. So then we cut to Cynthia holding a hoe. Yeah. And then Portia starts crying. Just kidding. It was a literal hoe. No. She's like in a garden. Cynthia was watering things and then she turns on, you know, Cynthia's business, Cynthia's can do like two things. She's like, "I can water the plants and then I can put water in the teacup." She's like, "I love brushing a paper towel over these counters." So anybody have an idea for a scene in the kitchen? Let me think, school for children. She did something with a dog. She talked to the dog for a minute. I just wrote, she's standing in a garden staring at it. Really confused. Yeah. She's like, "What am I doing out here? It's hot." Well, we'll get to the fight. But yes, Cynthia, she needs, she has to do that because otherwise, yes, she's going to just like, next season she's going to have to take the tea bag out of the teacups. So yeah, this whole scene was just her trying to call Peter. She's like, "I've decided. Yeah." I'm going to talk to Peter. Now. She's starring iPhone 5. Yeah. And then the best is that it goes ring, ring, ring, this is Peter. You want to leave me a message because I'm doing the brew, boo, boo rams of brew. So obviously, his ass pressed ignore because it rang three times before it went towards mail, which is even more offensive. He couldn't just put it in his pocket. Like, God, just let it go to voicemail naturally. Doing the three ring ignores is really cold. Yeah. You're Cynthia. Mmm. I'm not doing nothing. Okay. Hey, thank you for calling Peter. I'm not doing anything. Boo. Just like answering whatever Cynthia's accusation might be. Hey, it's Peter. If someone took my picture, it was just because I was helping a child in need. Boo. Hey there. Did you hang up? No, I'm here. I'm laughing before you. Fuck you. Fuck you when Peter's brew. I'm leaving. I'm laughing so hard. I can't believe. So this was all just Cynthia getting voicemail over and over and then doing that scything. And Cynthia's got a good surgeon because her face is slowly, slowly inching upward, but it's still smooth. It's not scary yet. And. But she also wears all those wigs and stuff. So I think those wig caps can be pointed up too. Oh, I was wondering because I've always suspected the magic. Beautiful line. I know. Oh, she does. It's all working in her event. Yeah, she's beautiful. I'm enjoying. I'm I'm saying she has good surgery. Look, if I wanted to say she has terrible surgery, I'd say she literally does have a good surgeon. It's going nicely. Her hair lines not all the way back in the middle of her head yet. That's good. That's good for a real house. Her sister is still really beautiful, too. I mean, I think a lot of that's just natural. Cynthia. No, no, no, that's not natural. No, no, her face is morphing. Like it's slow. It's doing a very slow morph, but instead of getting plastic and scary, it's getting like higher and perfectly plumper and some. Yeah. She's I think she's perfecting the fillers and the chip clip on the skull. Oh, there we go. Well, why not? Yeah, try that. Yeah, I gotta do it. We're all there. I'm no spritching. Amazing. Let's talk about Kim. She's where Kim tells and she's opening like the first thing I thought when Kim did that box is like, that's from Kyle. But Kyle, that's like a Kyle outfit from like season two. Really. Yes. Really. The flowy, that's all she wears. And I think it's part of her maternity to real life line where you buy maternity clothes that you can just wear forever because, I mean, really why bother telling you've got a husband. And I think that's how all maternity clothes should wear. Why just wearing when you're pregnant? Make them so you could just stay, stay eating your entire fucking adulthood. You had that kid. You deserve it. I was like, look, we should have said like, Oh, look, this is from Kyle. Kim feels by Kyle and a lean too. Oh, Kyle probably would sell her that on eBay season one. It brought me luck. It smells like Kyle like a true housewife eBay purchase. This smelled like body odor and it had a couch up stain. I was like, wasn't me? Sorry. Portia. Portia put a booger in there. Now close the box. Okay, so I was so excited that Kim feels it's going to be on the housewives. And I don't know why, but I think because from her being on living single, I mean, we all remember Tootie, but then I think somewhere the her living single, that regime character, I think as I knew her from that as an adult person, I really did start to like just assume that was sort of her personality. I didn't even watch that show. And last week when she said, Oh, is someone from two successful TV shows? I'm very grateful. And I was like, what was the other one? And I know she was on that show. It was her. It was a penalty. Oh, I remember it very well now, but I didn't, I had completely blocked it out of my brain until Ben was like a dura and it's been 20 years, but my point is that like I said to get her with that character and I kind of thought like, Oh, she's just going to come in and she's going to be like really like sad. She's going to be really saucy and she's going to be like really glamorous and she's kind of bumpy and sad on purpose too. She's like, listen, I just want to be myself and who I am. It's really boring. I like to sit at home and I like to look at my husband walk across the living room, making the kids laugh with his acid wash jeans pulled up to his chest. Oh, it's mom jeans. I mean, you know what, sexy? Not having sex and just being home with your kids, you know, wearing flowy things. I'm milkshake. Every time they cut to her, she's like, honey, you know, I'm not really a girls girl. He's like, that's why you don't have friends. He's like, you know, how do you do that? Oh, my God. And then she goes between being something's going on there because I've definitely but the other thing is Kim is like actress capital A kind of in that way that, you know, like all those girls on the wrong house like Eileen is also. And did you notice like she does this really weird forced laughing and like regime used to do that on living single? And I'm not comfortable with it. Well, she said, well, she does really actory things. Yeah. Like she'll say, Judy was in everybody's living room. And so I've always just been, you know, most people look at me and they just look at me as part of the family. And it kind of grosses me out because I was talking about this last week, but as someone who lives in LA and performs really don't like a room, I act as like the worst room to be in here is an audition room. It's the most obnoxious thing. You could be auditioning for like an extra role in a car commercial where you just have to stand there and be fat and people will be doing vocal warmups like blah, blah, blah, blah. Yes, people will be doing yoga poses on the bench like, what do you please stop? You're doing nothing in that, I just imagine her doing that honey, could you get the kids ready for school? I have an audition, and it just and also, you know, when they, when Kingie goes to meet her and they, she pulls up, it's like this little, it looks like a little bungalow or something like, you know, you and I, but well, you're from kind of a city, but you're, we're both from like, you know, these kind of southern small towns and you go get your hair done in what used to be a house. I've seen steel magnolias. How dare you? And that's like her. What do you think people get their hair cut and I'll pass out and you know, they had to get some PA to sit at a desk and pretend that like Kim was back there. Oh, just a minute, please Kim, they even have that. It's Blair. Oh, I wish and, but I was just, it all just seems, I mean, it's all set up for fake on the show, but there's just something I just wish she didn't have to do this. Yes, because this is definitely one of those times where you know a bitch is doing it for the rent. And I'm not even saying that because of the foreclosure thing from six years ago, because that's dumb. But obviously she's doing it for the rent because no one who looks at themselves as actory. I mean, well, I mean, I guess I lean considers herself actory, but that's day time. Yeah, that's day time actory. So even it's considered better, even if it's a reality show, it's considered better to be on prime time and obviously real house wise, it's huge, but I mean, I lean is still working. She's never not worked. She's never have like a gap. Vince doesn't really work, but they still like they have that property in Malibu. I mean, like worst case scenario, they're sitting in $10 million. Well, yeah, I tell he blows it all in poker. There's a reason she's working too. There's a reason that she's still working and I can guarantee you it's in the cards, darling. Have you ever met a professional poker player there broke the girl on real on big brother this year? Vanessa, she's like, I'm Vanessa and I'm a professional poker player. I've won over four point five million dollars in poker. I'm like, how much have you lost? Fifteen. Yeah. Mm hmm. No one ever says how much I lost. It's a little like their, their house is completely, it's a lovely home. I can afford that house, but I also, I don't like it when the husbands are just home and around. You know what I mean? Oh God, you're never going to be married in LA. And he goes to work here. Is there anybody working? Every time I go somewhere, it's like the husband and the wife and the baby. I'm like, what the fuck do you people do? No, and they're, and they're all in a hoverboard. No, I'm just kind of like, I just wish like they're always just at home. You can tell. They set up that little fake production thing that and said, oh, she's like, I'm, this is a pilot. No, that was all fake. He's home. She's home. This is like, they're working for their money, like in that scene when he's like, you ain't got no friends. I was like, Oh God, all of this is making me sadder and sadder and sadder. Especially because when you put yourself when you're saying, I'm basically a really nice person who's not desperate for attention, you really have no place here. So it's almost, it's kind of like walking into a lion's den, but she seems to know she's above it and there's a certain whatever the reason is money, probably, but whatever. I think it's to promote her line of maternity. Oh my gosh. And then, and then what was that? What was that maternity to real life clothes? It's actually not a bad idea. I'm telling you, at least she knows her audience, you know, I'm one of them. I'll buy one of those fucking flower dresses and just wear it for 10 years. She said, well, I'm designing clothes and then I'm going to do toothbrushes and then I was thinking, you know, that's like stands and you hang the bananas on in the kitchen where I'm going to make those like she had all that was, it was seemed just kind of all over the place. It's the most awkward character to start off with to have like a house where is lying. So I hope she doesn't do that. No one wants to buy a candle called Tootie. No, no, it literally seemed like she was like, I don't know, like, Oh, this is where I have to pitch what I'm going to sell. Okay. Like whatever was our first episode. She's like on Meryl Streep Tootie from televisions, television and part of your family, you might recognize me from the dinner table. Remember on the Brady Bunch when Jan had to come up with a fake boyfriend name and she was staying at the window and she said, George, glass, anastasia beaver housing. Anyway, I don't, I don't, this just makes me, I, you know, I was hoping, I honestly was really hoping that she had a lot of, well, I mean, maybe she does, but I was hoping that her life would be much grander and that she would be kind of really awful. I was really hoping that she would be really nasty. I have a pretty good eye and actually it's not really psychic ability. It's kind of the fact that Bravo just kind of recycles bitches over and over. Yeah. I'm pretty good at spotting the ones that are evil and then are going to turn, or that are nice and then are going to turn evil later. I really just don't see it in her. I see like I see the actor obnoxious part, but she seems very nice and even the actor part I get that she's being blustery because, you know, she feels like she doesn't have long. Weird. Yeah. She's like, why would I be on a red carpet? I've got kids. Yeah. Because why would you be on a red carpet? Because you have to promote your, you have to promote your banana tree thing. Exactly. Well, you can have a red carpet for your maternity to, to day wear or whatever, day to maternity. Those girls have like, they have no pretense whatsoever. I mean, like, King of Wood stand up and say like, well, you know, now I'm making booty glitter and I'm here and I'm going to promote it and I'm Duke's wear it and I'm wearing it. I mean, like, who care? And I start believing it too. And I'm like, yeah, I want to order some. Yep. Well, toodie's basically like, look, I'm televisions toodie. I'm broke. Now listen here. Here's your way. You can send me money. You can buy my maternity today to evening wear that I haven't made. I'll possibly come out with, you know what? I'm setting up a PayPal to click on my face, which you'll see at the bottom right hand of your screen right now. And I don't even want to, I mean, we've been talking shit about her, but so far, she just seemed very nice. I don't even know how we talk this much about her. We should call this the very special. We talked a bunch about toodie. We talked about more in toodie in an hour, more toodie in an hour than anyone ever in life. What the craziest thing about her is her hair. Well, she knows she's got a hairality, like a hair personality. What would you call that a person, a personality? Let's call it a Quaffinality. No, it's too stupid. It's like an old person says Quaff, a hair personality. What would that be? Yeah, the hair is doing most of the work. A person out of weave. I don't know. I'll come up with something. But anyway, yeah, she's got like, look, today I'm wearing crazy Afro blonde hair. Today, I'm wearing headband and, you know, straightened bangs hair. Oh, God. Who are you going to vote for, toodie? Well, let me let my wig tell you, I'm like, oh, toodie darling, get a hobby. Oh, yeah, that hair is doing a lot of the heavy lifting for her. Okay. Wow. Okay. Walk up. So we go to Kenya's party. Did you forget about Brandon? Hello. Can't play some. Brandon. Brandon. I'm kidding. I think Brandon is. Yes, of course. Now he's like her party planner. Yes. After he's done with his, hello, are you not there anymore? I lost you for a minute. Oh, no. Angie. Okay. What minute? This is an hour and 12, darling. Okay. I have to remember that. Let me write it. Okay. Yes. Of course, I remember who Brandon is. And I'm glad that he made it back from whatever film set he was on. Oh, I can't hear more production. Yes. Okay, more. It's like just got out of the editing, editing bay for Kenya Climes of the Hill. It's tough one in there. It's a tough one. We all agree you're going to win something not sure what is wearing his pink party planner blazer. Uh huh. And walking around doing things that Brandon does, like going, no over there. No, that needs to be grander and more pretty. This is Kenya Morris, Vichlung. Also, did you notice, I know you guys are obsessed with the music. But the music on this episode was crazy. It was like Atlanta's getting its own little spin on music right now. Atlanta is taking basically 500 songs that are not house wazzy at all. Most of them are kind of awesome because they stay within the housewives. Yeah. Think that you think. Boom, boom, boom, boom. But this one's like straight up random things from the radio that you've never heard, but you're sure. Hmm. I don't know. You know what I mean? It was about like 18 second. Remember the beginning of that BC Boys song Brass Monkey and it went and it was a saxophone thing. Yes. It was basically like that. It was like the opening to Brass Monkey just kind of randomly thrown in before King is partying. And it's just to watch Porsche walk upstairs. It's like this. It's like. Dun, dun, dun, dun. Oh yeah. Well, I mean, it's too house wazzy for that, but yeah, it was really dramatic. And then it's just Porsche and her friend. We got to walk up the stairs. It's hot. It's hot. I hate stairs. Me too. And I love it because Kenya. And we know this party is going to be a disaster because Kenya already said it has to be perfect. And Kenya already said like, I want it to be cold, like I want it to be a freezing cold room. Post production scene where she's just like, get that passion nada over here. It's like, listen, now that everybody's pissed and I'm already getting terrible Yelp reviews on my party, we need to film a scene where I'm telling you to get better air conditioning. All right, bitch. She's like, OK, well, can I stop my name on it? There's no air conditioning in that loft. No. And you need it after walking up all those flights of stairs. Porsche said Atlanta. And it was in July. Mm hmm. Porsche said she probably she probably spent a lot of money on her weave tonight. This let's just talk about this party. First of all, shit. What do they call those? Like step and what do they call those things step and something step and repeats. Kenya had like four step and repeats, which is just basically like a huge billboard of her face. That was the decor. And then it looked like somebody I guess Brandon had sent his assistant to Costco to get those like drink dispensers like we have at our 4th of July party and then they put Sonny Delight in one. He's like, all right, everybody, write your name on your red cup. OK, we don't have a sync up here, so you're not going to be able to wash out random cups. OK, everybody, this is Kenya Moore's experience. I love it. That candy of course. And they are so the editors are so shady because you know, we have the poor pregnant lady who has like climb up the stairs and she's like, could I just get a glass of water and then I was like, all we have is Sonny Delight. It's like, it's not here yet. Would you like some Kool-Aid mixed with old lady sweat? We've got that, some old lady passed out, so we've just been squeezing her dry. But tastes delicious, really, a little sugar. So the best thing in this party, besides the no furniture in the room, oh, can we take a break before we start talking about this party because we've only been talking for an hour, 15 minutes, about an hour long show, a 40 minute show, but we have to talk about Nini on the view. Did you see it? Oh, no. But what happened? And Nini goes on the view and she's trying to give attitude and joy is like, what? What? What does that mean? Because she would say, so something about like your talk about your marriage all the time, blah, blah, blah. So what did you get to voice in? She says something like that. And Nini's like, because I had to teach him honey. And then people are like, yeah, yeah, we're like clapping. And she's like, what? What do you mean? What did you teach them? I mean, what did you teach them what to voice? She's like, not to cross me honey ever. And she was like, okay, whatever. What's that mean? Looking around like, anybody know what that is? And then they show pictures of Nini's house because she's like, I've got a new house, honey. You know, Nini's like all bluster, like doing the head roll and that thing where she, like, makes spirit fingers and then closes her fingers, one fingernail at a time. You know, like a evil person saying, come here, she's doing that a lot while she talks. I'm like moving her head. And she's like, that's my house, honey. It's in a magazine. And Joy's like, wow, great house, how come there's no furniture in it? Where's the furniture in the house? Because it was totally empty. And Nini goes, um, well, we gave them permission for the house, honey, not the furniture. Okay. And she's like, uh, what? Why? What's a, what's a furniture? And she goes, uh, because we need our privacy. Okay. So we didn't allow that to be photographed. And she's like, you know, Nini's used to talking to people like Porsche. Joy just looked like you fucking idiot and she didn't hide it at all. She's like, whatever. You fucking moron. You won't answer one question. And then Nini's like, okay, with Joy, I can't with her. I just can't. Yes, and then she goes on Twitter and she's like, just sat down with, I love how people have to type on Twitter to make it short. It's like, just sat down with G mean girl mean, Joy Beyhardt is a 70 year old woman. I think she's earned the right to be called a mean woman. No kidding. She certainly earned the right to go, huh? What? What's she talking about? What? No furniture. What? What is furniture need secrecy? Yeah. What's a furniture tweet that need secrecy and he's a privacy, honey. My love. See, this is obviously not an Andy Cohen produce. I don't think she knows how to even deal with it. If it's not a bravo thing, but she can just yell at everybody and go, uh, not talking about it. Move on. Or Ryan Murphy behind the camera going, Oh, yeah, I love it. Well, notice that he's she's not around as much as she is she doing the American horror story? No, he she wasn't on that. She was on the new normal. No, I know. I'm just trying to think of shows that he has going on screen. He had on glee for like a couple of episodes and then she had like recurring part on new normal, which they only did one season. Well, I saw the thing where she did she played all the characters and her family like Eddie Murphy. Oh, no. Yeah. That's what I said. Okay. Anyway, I just had to mention that because it was if you guys have not seen that, please. I mean, I'm sure you've seen it, but please give it and don't just read the article about it. Watch the entire six minute segment because watching Nini try and just brush joy off and go, Oh, whatever, honey. And change the subject and joy going, huh? What? What? What's she talking about? It's the best thing. Yeah, I do it. Okay. So back to Kenya's party. There's some new girl named Simea Simea Simea, Simea, Simea, Simea, Simea, Simea, Simea. She's good. She's a chef. She's a little shit sort of right there. Oh, totally. Let's pronounce Simea, which I love because Simea, Simea, Simea, Simea, Simea, Simea, Simea. Who? That's what that's what they were. She was drinking. Oh, I'm Simea. I have Simea. Well, I have Simea, I have Simea, I have Simea, I have to say Simea, I can't rhyme things without getting a pet jumble more like sardine. So she came earning her spot. This girl was like at the Annie auditions. She was wearing a redhead curly wig like little Annie. She was going to get the starring role in the community, get her production, Annie. She came just bursting out the gate. She was like, Kenya more, what stairs, what a loft, what a bitch going off on her. And then, of course, because she's Portia's friend and Portia doesn't like Kenya. So they start making fun of the product and stuff while Portia's pretending that she's being supportive. And this girl's like, look at these shampoo bottles. It doesn't smell like anything. I'll bet it's water. And then she drinks it and it is water because they've all kept talking about how hot it was. We also, and we know that there's no water and she drink the shampoo and it was water because there's still no shampoo made I mean, girl, you put five commercials in your own YouTube video about the hair product. But that's why Kenya, it's like, that's what we're saying, like, that's the difference in between a Kenya and a Kim. You know what I mean? Like, can you, she, there's no filter like there's no nothing. Can you like, does not care? Yeah, she's just obviously doing it because she has to do something on the, she has to do something on the show. Yeah, Kenya has to do something. She can't go back to that, she can't go back to that cardboard skeleton house. So she's got to come up with, she's got to come up with something. I mean, why not that? She's like, there's some empty shampoo bottles in my storage unit, get them out, put some water in it. Well, like who even talked to her in that marketing meeting? Those bottles are shaped like triangles. How are those going to fit on a shelf? You can't even fit those. They take like double the shelf space of a normal bottle, you idiot. Like, how do you even fit that? She's like, I just, yes, I want there to be giant spaces between the bottles. That's just how it's going to be at Target, okay? To tell Target, it was my experience. This is my experience, the Kenya more experience. And I also want them to turn down their air conditioning, okay? People are too hot in Target. I will not have it. Oh, wait, but we have to talk about Kenya's boyfriend. Is this the first time we've seen her boyfriend? I think so, yeah, I'm trying to think who he looks like. Oh, I don't try, I couldn't put my finger on it. And though, it's kind of like the guy who played Hellboy, who's now in hand of God who was in Sons of Anarchy, Ron Pearlman, he's kind of-- Oh, he was the beast. He was the beast. He was the beast. Oh, it would be so hot, I'm a bear. He's kind of Ron Pearl, I mean, Ron Pearlman's not, but still. He's Ron Pearlman, he mixed with a little, I don't know, like, Donald Sutherland? No, no, it's no one great. It's not like a young Robert De Niro and a Marlon Brando. It's more like-- He's a Monet, because, you know, he's a very striking man. And like, when they came in together, I mean, like, he's tall, he's got a hot body, he's got, yeah, he's very well groomed, like, he had a really cool hair, like, it's a hair party. I think that's what freaked me out. Is I couldn't get a, I couldn't pinpoint a judgment on him because he had scrubbed everything away. It's like evident. He's scrubbed away all the evidence. He was so clean and shiny and well-groomed that I was like, "Who are you? Who are you, mystery man?" I think the interest, she knew that. She was just sort of like, "We're just going to, it's meant to be a little fuzzy. It's meant to be a little blurry." Because notice, she kind of like, she did her lap through, like, "Yes, he's with me." And then she whisked him out of there really fast. Yeah. Because there was an air conditioning. She's like, "I'm not hanging out in a, in a left on that air conditioning. Call production. What the fuck?" Come on, Ron, let's go. I like him, though, because he's very, when she storms out of her own party because of the lack of air conditioning. Yeah. That was the best. So Kenya. I'm done. Yeah. I'm not doing this scene, so he's telling her, "You know, I think it would be really nice if you went back in and just, you know, maybe said sorry because people are hot." She's like, "No, this wasn't, this wasn't how I positively, creatively visualized things, okay? I'm a visionary." He's like, "He has served his purpose." Yeah. He made Kenya say sorry once. Okay, you can break up with him now. So this turned into some crazy weird moment with Shirei, and again, it was a totally different song. (imitates drumming) Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, so quick. It's like Shark Week and Cirque du Soleil music, and Shirei comes in, and Shirei's like, Shirei tells us-- - Sweat and as usual. - As you, well, poor thing is never gonna have a scene not sweating. They're like, okay, if you're next scene, it's gonna be July, 100 degrees, go up five lights of stairs and find what you got. - In these leather pants. - One of the first things she says is-- - I'm a lady, which killed me. - I don't like the new-- I don't like the new sweeter gentler Shirei. That bitch needs to bring the beast back. - I like that she's going to give it time before she wraps someone's head off. Like, she's letting him marinate, like a good steak. - Somebody is gonna die. I think that's gonna be the infant alley is the grand finale's, Shirei is literally gonna murder someone. And it's gonna be on national television. And they're all in her rage. I mean, no one's gonna be exempt. Or she'll try and hire somebody to murder somebody and they'll be like, we have not been paid yet. (laughing) - Backway. - Well, we gotta talk about contracts because the whole thing here is about contracts. And that's what people don't understand is that when you build a house, there are contracts. So, Shirei, we know, we've understood-- - Well, people don't understand what it's like to do with construction workers who are paid to do things and then don't do them. - Oh, so it's the construction workers themselves. Oh, got it, got it. She should tell the credit card companies that. - The other thing is that Atlanta's taken a little bit of a cue from Real Housewives of New York where they're just like putting, since Nini's gone, they're just kind of like replacing Nini with a bunch of people. You know, so it's like in the same, we saw Claudia. We saw them, it's Lawrence, we saw some people. - For Claudia though, you know Claudia was not even trying to be on the show anymore. She got so fired, they were like, okay, just wear a t-shirt. It's an outdoor picnic. And she's like, okay, she shows up and everybody else is in like a ball gown and poor-- - Oh, I thought we were all gonna do laundry. - Yeah, she brings her blood, she walks in with her basket. What, guys, thought it was a slumber party. - Oh, the old juicy sweatpants that she was. (laughing) - No, I just am like, they were just through everybody and like everybody, everybody, everybody. King is what, yeah, you too, come on, everybody. - And they're all trying to just get their memes in the whole show too. - Yes. - Of course she's like, look who walked in? She rebut, she hulk. (laughing) - Oh, I know, woo. - Come on. Judy's husband looked terrified the whole scene and so did she, they all sat around in this awkward kind of waiting room area over to the side where there was no one else. It was like this big empty space. - I think those were probably the only seats. I think they were, at least that we could see. They're like, okay, you guys go sit over there. There's a fan, there's a fan above you. And so everybody's talking about nothing really. They're like, ooh, what transgender prostitute, what? Well, you know, she's mad at her because she's fucking this guy who's got to, all this stuff. And Judy's like, um, uh-huh, uh-huh. So what kind of maternity clothes do you guys wear? (laughing) Were you into elastic or more of like a loose or spank type thing? Like bitch, did you hear us? And the poor husband's just so bored. - He has braces, he can't gold shoes. - He does? - He duke does. - Oh, duke, I was like, whoa, I've really not been paying attention. - I can't get past his braces. - We didn't even mention where Porsche goes. - Everybody's talking about duke. (laughing) But I'll see what duke has to say about that if he ever calls me bad. - It's like, uh, poor thing. He's like, bye. (laughing) Thanks for the soccer trophy, bye. - Yeah. - She's like, hello, trophy star. (laughing) I made a special trophy. - Dick is bad, d-u-u-u-e. (laughing) I think. - He's bitch. - So, okay, let's wrap it up here. What else did we have here? We're gonna be talking. We don't have been sending me my little secret shock through the phone. Just wrap it up. - Oh, also, let's see. Oh, Shrei, Shrei shaded Kenya by her contact. Oh yeah, she did, erosion. I just remember she said something about erosion and I thought that was the same. - Yeah, so basically Kenya and Shrei have their talk because she was invited to this, she was so lucky to be invited to this party. (laughing) - She's like, when I'm invited to an event, even if I don't like the person, a go, because they're people with cameras and their phone. - That I haven't, that I haven't attacked you. (laughing) There are all these people in this room that I've yet to hit. - If you can get on Instagram and turn every like into a dollar, you'll be living under a roof. That's what I always say. - Oh boy. - So, they have this talk and they're both being really weird and like a merrily. And Kenya says, "Should we, we should have a talk?" And Shrei's like, "Yes, yes we should." And they walk off to the, I guess, holding air conditioned spot in the place. They're like in the bathroom, so. - Yeah. - And Kenya says, "Well, I don't even know." She's like, "I don't even know why you were mad." (laughing) - Kenya. You know, when you were-- - What's wrong? Are you upset? - Shrei's like, "You brought up my house and you yelled at me about my house in front of everybody." She's like, "I just said that the neighbors were discussing it. You can't be mad at me that the neighbors are protesting the asbestos smell coming out of your homes." (laughing) - That brought the wish. - Yeah. - In your yard. - If you're gonna poop outside your bushes until someone comes to unlock the door, the leech you could do is cover it up. I'm just saying what the neighbors are saying and the emails that I sign. - I can't tell, but the chimps misinterpreted it. Shrei. (laughing) - Shrei's like, "Well, good." Because I just want you to know that this whole thing happened. Because you know what it's like with paperwork. She's like, "Yes, I do, Shrei, yes, papers." Okay, well next time let's just talk about it together. Just like, "Yes, okay, hugs." What the fuck was that? It was like the biggest fight over nothing and then the biggest make-up over nothing. And then those bitches just went into like drink shampoo. (laughing) What the hell's with this show? Yes. - But let's get to the grind for this speaking of scenes, being of acting. (laughing) - She had to act for her life and it was, but she and Peter. - Yeah, this is the second season where Cynthia's got someone in her ear going, Cynthia, people don't like when you're wimpy. She's like, "I'm not a wimp." (laughing) We needed to emboss me around. - I'm a model. - I asked Nimi what to do and she told me. That's it. - I'm a model, I pose strong all day. (laughing) - Oh, so this whole thing with Peter, okay. So she's based, this whole episode, well, I'm not taking it anymore. I'm a strong woman. No, you're not. You married Peter, shut up. - But the thing, it's just so funny. It's basically like search for tomorrow. It's Atlanta version. 'Cause Cynthia, you know, she comes in the scene, dramatically removes her sunglasses. But why is there, it just, I mean, this-- - That she designed. - Yeah, this could have been straight out of, you know, knots landing. And she wants it, and she's just like, "Well, I see you're back." (laughing) - And you know, 'cause, you know, Ronnie's an actor, but they have this saying when you're doing any kind of scripted, dryest thing. And an actor needs something to do. They call it business. - Oh yeah. - So a lot of times if a person has like a lot of, if they have a lot of dialogue or something, sometimes you're so focused on like remembering the line. - If you're proud, we call that space work. We have entire exercises, like in beginning improv classes, where it's like, "Okay, you know, "you're just hanging around your house, "you have no idea what's coming. "What would you be doing in the kitchen?" And people are like, "Broshing my teeth!" I'm like, "No, nope, you're just in the kitchen." So go ahead, maybe take a paper towel, run it across the counter. They're like, "Uh, no, it looks like you're fishing. "Have you ever taken a paper towel off of a thing? "Just carry the paper towel." Okay, you're not flying. Okay, stop flapping your arms there. That's kind of what it is. - It is! - But you can tell that there's so, like when people have a lot of stuff to memorize, you have to remind them, like, you can't just stand here and like blurt out lines. You have to make it natural. And that's all I could think about. It's like somebody probably, like Cynthia had to come in, remember to get her spot, take off her sunglasses, but she was actually very good. I see you're here, I see you're back. - She's really perfected that thing where she stands very still and then bows her head and stares at like a spot on the counter. - Yeah! - And then she like, she does this thing with a half squint 'cause that means Cynthia's like super thinking about it. She's like, staring off at the counter spot. I'm like, she's on the opposite of Cynthia, Jesus Christ. Just yell at Peter and go to bed already or do something fun. I don't know, play some Scrabble, do something. But no, Peter's like, "Hey babe!" She's like, "Uh, no." - Here we go, here begins the worst. I just, I mean, I understand that Cynthia, in order for her to stay on the show, she's gonna have to like fake a marriage crisis and she's she's following through. Excuse me, Peter has to get on the same page with her and make himself somewhat terrible. Do you know what I mean? - Yeah. - Peter just cannot help, but when he opens his mouth, he makes himself so unlikable. - What? What'd I do? I didn't do anything. What? I'm supposed to stop people from taking pictures on their phone. You met her some girl because she took a picture on her phone. - She's like, "Uh, no, like you were strangling, "you were like strinkle making out "with somebody on a picture." What? So you met her Instagram? Whoa, okay, so on behalf of Instagram, I'm sorry for Instagram. There, unlike it, unlike it, unlike the post. She's like, "Uh, you're kind of missing the point here, buddy." No, Peter's whole offense is just to basically tell Cynthia that she doesn't understand him. She's just like, "You understand the need? "I have to fuck all the women." And you don't understand that. That's your problem. Not my problem, it's your problem. - And he tries to backtrack in such ways because she's acting, you know? I see that she's like, "It's time for my scene." But Peter is not acting. - I know, that's what I'm saying. Peter is like literally terrified that the pin number's been changed. I mean, you see it all. And by the way, I think his coffee shop just went bankrupt. So I think that pretty much is a spoiler alert right there. That tells you anything. But you could see that's the real terror because then he started going into the typical. - Yeah, but don't you remember at your sunglasses party? Remember when you came down those stairs? - Yeah, and you were publicly mocking her, like drunk in the back after you were late, like you were making fun of her while she was making an entrance. - When the whole time. - He was mocking her openly. He's like, "Remember, I don't remember you coming downstairs "since the last time, since we were in that museum place "that those people loaned us "and there were those creepy bones everywhere. "And then we got married." She's like, "Uh, that was so romantic. "Thanks for trying, Peter." It's like, "Jesus, Peter, make an effort." - He does not make any effort at all. And that's what it's gonna be tough because I think Cynthia's just used, I mean, I don't think Cynthia really gives a fuck. At this point, it's like a cheaper to keep her kind of situation. Like she's stuck with Peter. - I'll tell you this, I'll tell you this much. I'm like, "I need to stop saying that. "It's so Texas at me." It's what my meme on does. She'll be like, "Well, I'll tell you this much." M&M's doin' on sale 'cause it's after Easter. Like, why were you making that sound so important? Anyway, I'll tell you this much. Cynthia has a pre-op because there is no fucking way that Peter would be freaking out and giving a shit about Cynthia leaving him. Otherwise, she probably didn't have that much. - She was a star on a show. She was, I mean, not the star. She was somebody on a TV show. Comparatively, she had money. He didn't have anything. He had some failing-outs restaurant. - He's released for the 2001 BMW, which is still not paid off. Here's what he can have to like say. Peter gets the balcony of that townhouse fun. - Exactly. She's like, he gets that plant that just keeps growing really long vines that nobody understands. I don't even wonder that thing. I don't understand it. - I don't think there was that much to lose and any kind of money that she has ever made, she just pours into all his failing businesses. - Well, there you go. I mean, what else is he gonna do? The whole time we've known him, when we met him on the show, he was the owner of some failing restaurant. I mean, it went bankrupt like- - Barnum. - A cup of Barnum, that's right. And then what was next after that? He started something else. It was bullshit. - Now he's doing the sports bar with Cordell. - Well, we had Barnum part two. Remember, he's like, Martin Luther King? (laughs) Pass by on the bicycle of that place across the street with somebody died. And she's like, wow, a king lived there. I'm like, oh my God, you people are so stupid. So I was like, Barnum number two. Is that still open? I think that closed too, right? - I don't think anything's open. - Yeah, they just keep closing. It's like, theaters are constant investment in a non-profitable enterprise. - Remember they drove, they all went and got Chick-fil-A and then drove to Charlotte. - That's like every episode. (laughs) It went to like a party at Barnum with Claudia. And then we never, the Barnum and Charlotte, and then we never saw it again. I think- - How dare you? We saw it on Instagram. (laughs) I saw them walk into someplace once where there was a huge picture of Cynthia. Oh, that was Peter Sproupe. - Oh, that's right. 'Cause there was like, at one point, she says like, well, I haven't talked to Peter in seven days. (laughs) Like, what's that your husband? She's probably relieved. - Listen, there's a reason she gave him money to open a restaurant in Charlotte. - Exactly. - Just like, bye now. - I think that maybe they're just low-key separated and they're just like having a makeup. I don't, yeah, it all seems very weird, but he's definitely- - It's always seemed very weird. Peter has not changed. He's the same arrogant, you know, bloviating asshole that he's always been. He's always used her. And everybody around her has told her, so I don't buy that she's just suddenly sick of it because, I mean, she's mad that it's public now, but there's something else in their relationship that's not about, it's not a typical marriage where it's just like love and sex. There's something weird there. I don't know if it's a business arrangement, if it's just a good friendship, if they just like smoking some dope together and Cynthia's just better at being sober on camera. I don't know what it is, but those two have some kind of bond that we don't get. - And he's not attractive. Like, I don't, he's a very, he's a very, like he's put together nicely. You know what I mean? - He's arrogant, he's well-grounded and he smells like a drink. - Like he doesn't love that, but she's never wanted to fuck Peter. I mean, that was her storyline in the beginning wasn't she never wanted to fuck Peter, remember? And she had fibroids and then he's like, okay, well, I got a pill removal and I got the fibres off your jeans and she's like fine, I'll have sex. Like she had sex with him one time after being cured from her gene pills or whatever and then, or sweater pills. And then she's still doesn't wanna fuck him. She's like, nope, when the fibroids. So yeah, there's something weird there. I don't, but the thing is, it's sort of like Brooks and Vicki is sort of, it's the same thing. It's like you're fighting for this loser. And also like you're gonna lose, your fans are gonna turn against you because I know this is your storyline, but it's like nobody wants to see this for another season. You're saving, you're working to save a marriage that everybody hates. - Yeah, but should you be, I mean, I know that they're on TV and their marriage is on TV and all this stuff, but the opinion of the TV of the Twitter people, as Nini would say, that's all Twitter people. You can't base your entire marriage off what Twitter thinks because most of these people, like Jim on the Real Housewives of Orange County, he's such an arrogant prick and he's so mean to Meghan and public, but that's their relationship and Meghan's obnoxious and she needs somebody to be like, "Shut up." - Jim is handsome and has a lot of money. - Yeah, it's like there's something that works for people that if it's not a perfect relationship, everybody-- - It's like zero's behind that comma. - Yeah, but there's something to that one where I can see how they work together. Like the scene where they were in the limo and she's like, "Well, no Me and Justice." - Yeah, 'cause they still fuck, I guess. Somebody cuts Jim. - I think it's deeper than that. I think it's more that he yells in his arrogant and blah, blah, blah, and she doesn't care. Like, she'll probably be quiet and be like, "You're wrong and I looked it up on Google and here's why." You don't use substandard trash bags because when you do, poor children die in the Sudan. So, Justice, Jim-- - And he's like, "Fuck you and you're justice. "You stupid slag." And she's like, "Yeah, okay, see you for dinner. "I'm boiling your chicken breast." - Yeah, in a, you know, $6 million house, I could make it work. - There's some, I don't think that, I think that people on Twitter, I don't mean you, but like, the fans judge everything. It's like, Shannon and David. - I'm a better person. - You know, they're like, "Why would you stay there "with David when he did this and this and this? "And why would you blind?" And they judge it and she's like, "Well, you know, "we have a family." Well, I was kind of difficult too. And they're like, "No, girl, you're the victim "on the reunion." Like, "Don't you dare. "You are the victim. "I do not want to see you cry, bitch." - I mean, all these guys, yeah, they're all awful, but even David Badour never talked to Shannon. I mean, David Badour knew to put his tail between his, I'm sorry, dear. He plays the yes, dear. He's a little bit smarter, but like, David was never like abusive. Peter is, he is an asshole. He's abusive, he's mean. She doesn't want to fuck. Like, what's the point? - Cynthia's attracted to people like that because she's a bitch inside, but she can't be a bitch outwardly because she's too polite. That's why she was best friends with Nini. Because Nini was a bulldog who fought everybody, said every bitchy thing in the world. And Cynthia loved it because she never had to do anything, but be the nice one. - She was like that little cartoon dog that jumps over the bulldog as he walks down the street. She was like the Barney, you know? Everyone's like, Fred Flintstone's a dick, but Barney's nice, you know? He's like, "Dup, that's me." So I, 'cause Nini and then now she's what she's friends with Kenya. Like, she's always gonna pick the biggest bitch on the block and become their friends. And I think that's probably Peter too. It's like, just a big arrogant asshole 'cause he's speaking her mind, you know? She's too nice to do it. I don't know. I noticed that a lot of people are friends with me who are very nice. Like, they're way too nice for my bracket. And I think it's because I'll tell everybody off for them. - Well, they did also say this is a backdoor conversation, which I laughed out loud. And also, Peter said, "I don't believe in divorce." And I was like, "Oh God, she's fucked." - Well, you didn't believe in marriage either. - I mean, how many kids do you have? - Exactly, we've never seen. - There's a reason I don't have eight divorces, okay? Because I'd never married the mothers of my children. - Oh my God, this show is incredible. - He's like littered tiny Uncle Ben's all over Atlanta. And then suddenly, he's like hot strangle kissing some teenager on Instagram. - I think they're in Jamaica. - That means like, "Moral Cynthia, morals, "you ever heard of morals?" Like, "Uh, hello?" - Oh, that was, this is a good show. I'm so glad it's back. - I was strangling that girl for nothing, you. - Yeah, I do. - You don't under hot, stand out, I feel. - You understood me, you would see that. - And then Cynthia being a badass. "Peter, I'm telling you right now, "I'm not staying in this, "'cause I'm not the kind of person "to be in something just to be in it." So were you? We're gonna talk about this again. Do we have an agreement? And he's like, "Uh, can I have $20?" She's like, "No, you're gonna go to your room." - Okay, I love you. - He's like backing away. And she's like, "Now, Peter, "we are gonna keep discussing this seriously." He's like, "Uh, uh, uh, uh." He's like backing up all the way to the next room. You hear me, Peter, do we have a deal? What is your deal that you're gonna talk about it more later? - What kind of deal is that? - People are crazy. She's staying with Peter, don't you think? - I don't know, maybe. - She's not meeting Peter. - I mean, at least for this season, she's gotta have some kind of storyline. She can't just like, she's already done key kettles. She's already taken off her glasses and she's already watered the plants. And she's already played with the dog. (laughing) - She's out of shit. Next is gonna be her going around a quickie, Martz, being like, "Have you ever seen clearly? "Well, now you can." With Cynthia Bailey Eyewear. - Spinning that carousel. - And Jay, we did it. - We did it, how long did we talk about that? - One hour and 48 minutes done. - Oh my God, I'm sorry, everybody. Then I'll be back next time. - Then it's like the time of three episodes (laughing) of "Girl Housewives" where we're buying that. Three. (laughing) - Analyze. - Mm-hmm. - And we did it. - Oh, yeah. - I love you, thank you so much for calling me. - I love you, thank you so much. This was a, I cannot believe I held a, I had to hold everybody hostage. So we could blabber on about Atlanta. - You know, it was me, 'cause I monologue, and you're my friend, and you're like, "Okay, Ronnie's doing a monologue. "I'm gonna go pee and get some popcorn." (laughing) - Try on my captain that just came from Kyle. - You're like, "Yes, dear, yes, dear, yes, dear." (laughing) Thank you so much for being here. - Anytime, darling, you're so welcome. - Every bidet, go look up deep thoughts. That's T-H-O-T-S to find. Angie's podcast, there's a pop culture, deep thoughts, and then there is a Empire, the lion's den. You can, what's your Twitter? I don't want to mess it up, I mess up everybody's. - You can just find everything at deep thoughts. D-E-E-P-T-H-O-T-S, deep thoughts on Twitter, and everything that it all connects to Empire. - How did you get that name? That's such a good name. I mean, I know how you came up with it, but like, how did you get it on Twitter? That's such a good name. - I don't know, I think we just grabbed it. - I love it, deep thoughts. - I think it was actually, I think we were playing around with thoughts, I think Ben, I think Ben helped us with that. I've been. - Ben, it's pronounced Ben. Everybody, thanks so much for listening to this. Hopefully, we're gonna have hours of content for you this week because I'm having guests all effing week. - Everybody, go to WatchitCrapins.com for links, patreon.com/watchitcrapins for bonus episodes, this week is really fun. And everybody, this is the time to be thankful. - And I am for you. - And Ben, thankful for you. And Anthony, I'm thankful for you. And you're like my legit friends in real life. And I'm thankful for you in real life as well as Crapins life. - Thank you for being with me too, love you. - I love you. - If you like WatchitCrapins, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at Wondery.com/survey. - Hello ladies and gerbs, boys and girls. The Grinch is back again to ruin your Christmas season with 'Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast. After last year, he's learned a thing or two about hosting and he's ready to rant against Christmas cheer and roast his celebrity guests like chestnuts on an open fire. You can listen with the whole family as guest stars like John Hamm, Brittany Broski and Danny DeVito try to persuade the mean old Grinch that there's a lot to love about the insufferable holiday season. But that's not all. Somebody stole all the children of Whoville's letters to Santa and everybody thinks the Grinch is responsible. It's a real Whoville who done it. Can Cindy Lou and Max help clear the Grinch's name? Grab your hot cocoa and cozy slippers to find out. Follow 'Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Unlock weekly Christmas mystery bonus content and listen to every episode ad-free by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app, Spotify or Apple Podcasts. (upbeat music)
