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Get free shipping on qualified orders. See site for more details. Today's episode is sponsored by Casper. Get $50 toward any mattress purchased by visiting www.casper.com/crapins and using promo code Crapins. Watch what Crapins Watch what Crapins Who cares what happens when there's so much that Crapins? Crapins Crap, Crap, Crap, Crap, Crap, Crap, Crap, Crapins Watch what Crapins Watch what Crapins Who cares what happens when there's so much that Crapins Who cares what happens when there's so much that Crapins Watch what Crapins Watch what happens when there's so much that Crapins This episode of Watch what Crapins is brought to you by our premium Patreon subscriber and Christy Darity. Yay! Hey everyone! Welcome to Watch what Crapins, a podcast about all the Crap on Bravo that we just love to watch and talk about and laugh about and make fun of. I'm Ben Mandelker from bsideblog.com and the banter blender. And joining me as always is the truly hilarious and wonderful and culturally aware Ronny Karam from trashtalktv.com. What's going on Ronny? I've been to the Opera a bit and I'm culturally aware, oh well. You are well. You are so very aware. Yeah Ronny went and saw Moby Dick the Opera and I know this because we talked about it on our bonus episode this week. For those of you who don't know it for those of you who are new to our podcast and we have a bunch of new listeners which we're very we're we are so excited about this. We were number three on on iTunes. It's like it's crazy. So everyone who's new welcome we we have this thing with patreon patreon.com/crapins where if you like the show you can you can support us you can donate to us. And one thing that you get from supporting us is access to our weekly bonus episode which is usually anywhere between 20 minutes to an hour. And this week's episode we talked about a lot of Bravo gossip. We talked about more revelations with Brooks and his cancer. We talked about we had some southern charm gossip that we discussed. We talked about we talked about amber from Real House size of New Jersey. We talked about brandy glanville's new show. But most importantly we talked about whales. We talked a lot about whales specifically Moby Dick. Ronnie well Ronnie saw Moby Dick the opera which is why he's singing it. And we also talked of course we had to the Starbucks red cup controversy. So if you if you're interested in hearing all that stuff just go to patreon and support us and you get more podcasts. It's so great. Lots of bonus episodes and then next week is our Google Hangout for subscribers. And that's next Wednesday because it's going to be the holiday soon. So we're going to do next Wednesday so that should be fun. So yeah just come to watch what crappins.com. You can find links to go everywhere find all the bonus episodes and bonus content. And we've got eight and come to facebook.com as well. Flash watch what crappins because there is so much being posted there. It is really great you guys. Thanks for posting there. And let's get on with the show because we've got so many. Yeah, I don't want to take too much time. I know we're gonna have we have two ads everyone. So everyone just brace yourselves. You never know when they're gonna happen. You don't know where it's gonna happen. But suddenly don't be a dad. I'm somewhere now. So let's not marinate you in AIDS. And get on to the red tin. Real housewives of Atlanta. Oh did you want to talk about Beverly Hills? Oh no Atlanta Atlanta you need to take a break. Take a step back and relax because we have some bigger fish to fry. We have a big where else. Not as big as a whale. But like a fish maybe like a grouper. I think we have a grouper to fry. We'll get a really big pan because it's gonna be a whole grouper. And it's in the shape of women from Beverly Hills. I actually cheated and saw some of this preview. The trailer for the next season. Of really as well as the Beverly Hills. I watched a little while I was recording it. And this is no group of in. This is a nursella. These are more like red snappers. I think that's what they are. To me this is a good one because at first I was like "Dum, dum, dum, dum." And then it ended with me going "Girl!" Which you know that's a sign of a good trailer. Yeah so what we're going to do is we're actually going to play it now on the show and we'll comment as we go along. It's two minutes and 24 seconds. So if it sounds kind of annoying then you can just fast forward two minutes in a big deal. And if not just just just come listen to us. So I watched it last week. I forget most of it but I'm going to run it. Are you ready? I'm going to press play. Are you ready to press play? You tell me. Let's count off. Three, two, one, play. Real housewives of Beverly Hills. Hold on tight Vanderpump. Brought fast cars. Lisa almost says her hat. How sweet how! This lane! Point to Central. This is the part of the trailer. I was so pleased. The backpack. On Drambo Challenge. This is the part of the show when they show how luxurious they are. It's a show. Taylor Armstrong and a big hat and Camille. Oh and Camille and Taylor. We're Joe Jonas. Where do we get all that? She's no mama. Oh the classic waxing scene. Nice to meet you. Eric is a very colorful woman. The body, the boobs, the lips, the hair. But she is one smart cookie. No she's not a smart cookie I guarantee. Her vagina is already on us. I like the typical Beverly Hills woman that only eats salads. Yum. Who gives a f***? I don't know. I'm not sold on her. How are you? I am confused. Oh my god. Another new woman. It's been a long time and I'll tell you. After 20 years she looks exactly the same. See I like this woman because she looks like she's already going to be a bitch. My husband is nine years old. Oh Donnie. Donnie Edwards from the used to be in the Chargers. He's going to take Nick his wedding. I was told it would be better if I didn't. My new wigs. Okay now the drama is starting to kick in. I'm willing to do anything. Yolanda. Yolanda is in like a f***ing... Brio. She's in like a vat of dry ice. What does that do? Oh Ken. We're white ants in a freakup. They pushed Ken into a pool. You gotta own your own stuff. Hey Richards. It's been massed big. It's really hard to say about you. Adrian Maloof, this is like an all-star situation. This is my will. And I just want you guys to make sure you've been here. Yolanda. What if I die? Yolanda preparing a live disease will. If I die, please stay at that. They like to pray on the week. Okay now they are actually questioning Yolanda. This is very Brooks and Megan. Faye Resnick. I thought of you as Bambi. Bethany. Don't attack me early in the morning. Oh my god. You're attacking. I hold a lot in the vault. Are you threatening me? You had to go with me. Here we go. Now they're starting to fight. Have you ever upset it? They're saying s*** about her. You have some balls tell me you said it. She manipulates all of us and everyone with it. I think she doesn't want to leave any fingerprints. Don't get caught in the web. We're good. How good? Because I need to be really f***ing good. No I can't. I can't have Eileen and Lisa Vanderpump fighting. I can't have that. Ooh hoo hoo hoo hoo. Okay so those of you who did not have pictures is probably hard to tell what the hell was going on there. Yeah probably. Um okay let's talk some s*** about that. So that started like very light and frothy and ended with some dramatic shit. Oh my God, this show is so dark. It is going to stay the darkest. But yeah, the others can try and compete, but you just can't. This show always ends up being the darkest fucking show on TV. Hold on. Sorry. That's like my Facebook making. Can you hear those alien noises? I'm sorry, everyone. It's not your Facebook. It's mine. I just turned it off. Your whole life is ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. It's awful. So it looks like this season we're going to be like everyone who used to be a housewife is coming back and some sort of guested and so is Faye Resnick. And it looks like they're all going to be out of each other's throats. I'm not sold on this Erica Jane. Is that the younger one? The quote, unquote younger one. I'm not a typical Beverly Hills girl. Yes, you are. You're white trash with money, girl. I mean, please, she's like, I'm a Beverly Hills girl who likes to eat fried chicken like every other girl who came here and got famous because they were hot and eats fried chicken and pretensors. No one expects you to be classy and Beverly Hills darling. They just expect you to be rich. And she's some sort of singer like sings at gay clubs in London. I don't know. That's just that's not fascinating to me, to be honest. I don't see anything glamorous about that. But you think she's too poor for this cast? They made a poor white trash girl because they're recasting brandy. That's true. They do need to pour white trash. And then the other woman, her face is all sorts of surgery. But she she looks like she could be a bitch. So I'm hopeful that she'll she'll be she'll be pretty bad. But she wasn't featured in a lot of the trailer. I know that I just saw her for the first time in this trailer. But all I can think of when I try and remember her is Aviva. Like that's whose image is replacing her in my head. So that's a good sign. Always. Always a good sign. Or a line of early onset amnesia. But yeah, or dementia. All timers dementia. Yeah, whatever. All three. Yeah, I think it looks promising. It looks like Eileen and Lisa Vanderpump get into a fight, which I don't like because they're my favorites and I like that they were friends. It looks like there's going to be some division that people are not going to be believing Yolanda's Lyme disease stuff. It looks like Yolanda is, I mean, they show her again being like, I'm going to the end of the earth to try to figure out how to get through it with my Lyme disease. And they show her one of those cryo fitness tubes. Like as if it's some sort of, listen, they just installed that at my LA fitness. All right, you're not going the end of the earth. You just went to the local gym. All right. Like possibly the Lyme sort of cure and also my pose would look amazing. Yeah. And by the way, I don't think that cryo fitness is going to cure you from Lyme disease. I mean, it just drives me nuts. She's, I haven't seen it. She's, it looks like she's in a nuclear waste container full of dry ice. And her head is kind of like turning around like she's been being spent on the inside. Yeah, it's basically like how every, how every Marvel Avenger came to be, you know, it's like, oh, this is what happened to Captain America. You know, he was just like shoved in a tube and their dries came out of it and then he came out as a superhero. So now Yolanda's going to come out as a superhero. I was a model before, now I'm a super model. I had limes before and now I have super limes. Thanks a lot. Oh, I don't want to see her reaction when she finds out that there's a comic called The Tick. Oh, no, what an awful message to send the children that ticks can be nice. I'm rooting for the Ant-Man to kill the tick man or the Spider-Man. I love Paul Rudd. He will come out and perform when we let him out of the basement after dinner. Everybody, Andrea Bocelli, like your faces all look completely natural. Thank you for having me darling. Now Ant-Man and Spider-Man, before you go save the world, you must sit here and listen to David play the piano my love. And Taylor's back there in her terrible tea party hat like, I hate this song. We listen, we don't say the word here, we listen to the music. I love that they show Taylor and Camille in their terrible because you know that that's like a Lisa tea party for dogs with breast cancer. Yeah, it's like something like that. Because they're all in terrible satin, frilly, God save the queen hats. And that's all you see of Camille and Taylor. This show is so funny. And they go from the lady screaming, "Munch happens!" about Yolanda, which is insane, by the way. But they go from that to waxing Lisa Mina's ass. But they're literally saying, "Munch out." It's like they're coming out fighting. This is no Brooks where they're like, "Well, how do we say this? Let's get a psychic. Yeah, I call a gay psychic, but so sore." Yeah, this one, they're like, "Bitch you lying." It's like they don't have someone's alcoholism to exploit now. So they're like, "All right, we took care of one crazy person and now we're going to take care of another and make your problems while I get my ass waxed." I can't wait to see who pushed Ken into the pool because you know Lisa will have none of that. And by the way, they pushed Ken into the shallow end of the pool. He didn't even like fall in the water. He kind of like fell over on his ass. I'm like, "He's an old man. You can't be pushing him over and like, you know, make a cement." No, you could push a flesh Roomba into a shallow pool. Like you broke the Roomba. Who is going to zip jiggy around pump? Yeah, I mean, normally we just would assume that it was Brandy who did that because she is the trashy one who would do something like that. But I was just trying to have fun. But now I don't know. Well, it still might be. We saw Brandy in the preview. Maybe it was like the ghost of Brandy. You know, you know, how ghost do that ghost? Push people. There's like a whole series of videos on YouTube of people walking around and then being pushed to the floor by a ghost. Maybe that's what it was. I like that kind of a ghost. Yeah, it's a good ghost. Pushy ghosts. But not old people, even ghost half manners, even if a ghost wouldn't push Ken into the shallow end. Yeah, exactly. You know what a ghost would do? A polite ghost would just splash Ken with the water. Rather than push Ken into the water, just make the water come up to Ken. A polite ghost would just come up and then just like wave his silent thoughts away. Save everybody the trouble. They just whisper into his ear and say, "You're going to be one of us soon." Another part of this was, "Kelom, like, and now listen here, Lisa Rina. You've had some pretty crazy things about me." Really? What did she say? Because recently, you've robbed Target for social cards, for relationship from the dollar aisle, okay? Like, you emptied the dollar aisle into your two things and tried to leave. Who's saying crazy things? Stupid. Yeah, yeah. I think that Lisa Rina, I think what she said was, I'm concerned about Kim. I think Kim may still have a problem. You know what I call that? It's probably addiction. I don't think... Yeah, no, that was not crazy. She was basically like being very, very obvious. She could have just been saying, "Kim is a female who breathes air." It's about as obvious as that. Like, Lisa Rina, I wanted to have this discussion on the side of a highway so I could hop over the median in case she got nasty, but okay, P.F. changed it is. You're a jerk. Wow. Looks promising. Do we know when it's coming back? December 2nd, I believe. And I already cannot wait for the scene of Yolanda gathering all the children around. Yeah. Bella, other one, other, other, Blanca, a person who sells towels down in front of our house and is only licensed because I let him come up here. If I die, I want you to have the refrigerator because I can't get out of here. I leave everything to GG and these box of tissues to the other one. And the other one can watch out where the box of tissues. I leave the main way to Bella. I leave the... Maybe it could have been written on an napkin way to Bella, the other one. And I leave a week and a mask to other other. Try Hada. Love 'em all. Oh god. Yeah, it's gonna be good season. Good season. If I'm unable to speak note that I am feeling... Try Hada. So yeah, can't wait for that shot. Yeah, to come back and it's the return of Real House Wars of Evelyn to begin. Oh yeah, but you know, before we do that, you know what? I have to tell you, Ronnie, about something that I endured this morning, which is that I woke up and I could barely wake up. I woke up, my eyes opened and I was like, I am so tired because it's something that I like to call the Casper struggle, which is I sleep so well on my damn Casper mattress that I have a hard time waking up in the morning because you know what? If you don't know what Casper is, it's an online retailer of premium mattresses for a fraction of the price. The mattress industry has inherently forced consumers into paying notoriously high mark-ups. Casper is revolutionizing the mattress industry by cutting the cost of dealing with resellers and showrooms and passing that savings directly to the cost of the consumer. A Casper mattress provides resilience and long-lasting supportive comfort. Casper's mattress is one of a kind, a new hybrid mattress that combines premium latex foam with memory foam. Matresses can often cause well over $1,500 but Casper mattresses, yeah it's true, it's true, but Casper mattresses cost between 500 for a twin, 600 twin XL, 754 full size, A54 queen, and 950 for a king size mattress. Casper understands that buying a mattress online can have consumers wondering how this is possible. Buying a Casper mattress is completely risk free. Casper offers free delivery and returns within a 100 day period. It's that simple. It really is. It obsessively engineered mattress at a shockingly fair price. Just the right sink, just the right bounce. Two technologies, latex foam and memory foam come together for better nights and brighter days. Risk free trial and return policy tries to be on a Casper for 100 days with free delivery and painless returns. Matresses made in America, $500 for a twin, 950 for a king size mattress, comparing that to industry averages, that's an outstanding price point. Get $50 towards any mattress purchased by visiting www.casper.com/crapins and using the promo code "crapins" terms and conditions up. By the way, just for people who want to know, I ordered mine at 2am on a Sunday because if you remember my stories that I got drunk at a club and I came home and I ordered a Casper mattress and it was-- I used the Crapins promo code and it had arrived by Thursday. I love it. I'm not joking at all. I sleep so fucking well on it. You know who could use a good night sleep in? The cast of the Real Housewives of Atlanta. They certainly do. If they don't need a mattress, they certainly need a few seats. I'll tell you that much. Atlanta-- Get that pen. Oh my gosh. Atlanta is back and-- Atlanta seems like it was just on, right? It's because it's on about nine months of the year, especially with all the specials that they add on to it. If you think about it, they're probably going to get 20 episodes out of it and then they'll be another three or four episodes of a spin-off. That's a lot of the year. Yeah. I read that Candy had the most spin-offs ever. Isn't that crazy? She's like the favorite Bravo star. There was some tea leaked. There's somebody like leaking tea all over. I need to find that. That's really good, actually. There's some good shit in there. So let me get Casper out of my white no offense, Casper. Oh. And so I can get to my Real Housewives notes. Basically, I wrote that opening this season on the Real Housewives of Atlanta. I just wrote basically a lot of yelling in huge asses on the floor. Yeah. This season, everyone collapses from something. Yeah. It's true. Yeah. I thought the season premiere was-- It's funny. So let me back up before I make my statement, which is that I started watching it last night. I watched the first half of it last night and I was like, yeah, this is a little doll. Nothing's really happening. And then I finished it today and I was like, oh, it's fun. So I think it was just one of those episodes where they're kind of just like just getting everything back in order. Like, here's so-and-so and here's so-and-so and this is what they've been up to and this is what they've been up to. And let's work our way. It's where we're watching one of these shows without the girl music in the beginning, because marriage and medicine had it and now we have it with Ladies of London. And this show does the opening montage of all the ladies doing something, but it's like, the music is just doing this. Don't. Don't. Don't. Yeah. Girl. Hello. There's no girl power music. They don't even have candy being like, Oh, did you listen to all their opening lines? I did, but I forgot to write them down. I remember thinking that they were not very good. You know, opening lines, you know, the art of the, the real housewives opening lines is that there's usually a play on words or something clever or ironic. Like, for instance, if you say, like, I may have a heart of glass, but I won't shadow. You know, that that's like a play on words. Not that that's a real one. I just was looking at the glass as the first day I could think of. I may be 50, but my vagina doesn't know what years are. Yeah. But like, these were kind of like, I may be the new kid on the block, but I love peas and carrots. It's like, what? That has nothing to do with the first part of it. Yeah, they're not getting it right. They're just saying and something else. I have a new hit maker inside of me. And I enjoy yelling at my assistant. Yeah. It's just sort of like a list of attributes as opposed to something clever. Although, you may think you can keep me down as a model, but I'm a model. She's like, I may be a model, but I also am out of ice cream at the moment and I'm going to the store. I can hold a peach. I can also hold a lot of ice cream in my ass. They're basically trying to frame. This is Cynthia's season because Cynthia has become the star of the premiere episode because she did the most important thing you can do as a housewife, which is have your life fall apart. Yeah. And so I made her out on Instagram, kissing some chick or whatever in some club, which was hilarious. Yes. And this is becoming her Jackie Oh moment, which like, yes, my husband's a pride, but he's also a leader of Peter's brew. Yeah. Exactly. I can't just walk out on my personal feelings. I just can't walk out on the genius behind Peter's brew. I mean, I haven't paid off that curious yet. I'm standing by my. I mean, I just ordered 5,000 white snowflakes to tape onto the Peter's brew red cups. If I don't do it, we're going to be attacked for being on Christian. And my modeling career and the bail agency can't have that. I'm putting snowflakes on the cup so people will know the Christmas is about Jesus here. Peter's brew. You know who else is a snowflake? You. Here's what we're going to do. We're going to have a green cup instead of a red cup. But make sure there's a gingerbread man on each one of them. Okay. Otherwise, people won't know it's for Christmas. Don't think it's for the earth. You know, I guess I'm getting ahead of myself a little bit, but I really hate the whole idea of I took a vow for better or for worse. I am not just going to throw out this marriage. I'm like, you know, this really makes me respect Phaedra because Phaedra is the only one out of all these doofuses on all these franchises who's like, oh, you cheated on me. Oh, you did this. You broke the law. You're going to jail. All right. I'm divorcing you. That's it. And I know you have your I know you there's the conspiracy theory that she's behind it all. But just just take it on face value that she's just like, no. Well, but even without my conspiracy theory that Phaedra probably did all this and got him thrown in jail on purpose because he fucked with her. Even beyond all that, even if none of that is true, Phaedra is still confident enough to say, look, I'm a woman of a certain age. I want a baby with a hot fucking guy. I've got this guy in prison that's already in prison for me for crimes, you know, for me, literally. So, you know, I'm going to go to his dorm or whatever. I'm going to go to the halfway house. Fuck the dude. Have him get me pregnant and then get rid of him. I mean, this is like an easy way for her to go. Not an easy way, but it's a way for her to get rid of him. But it's a brilliant way. You know, I mean, that's a girl power right there. No matter what you think of the situation, that bitch is not going to be, you know, bossed around by some man. And I respect that. Well, um, the show opens, speaking of getting pregnant, the show opens with candy. See now, pregnant now. And candy is pregnant. That was my, by the way, for the new people listening. That's my, uh, that's my candy burrs impersonation, which candy famously has the most difficult voice to impersonate. And every time I've tried to impersonate it, I just get a weird bastardized thing that sounds like metal on metals. No, Todd, huh, huh. We were, we were going to go, I do want to have a, I can't wear a small anymore, but see now why aren't I many smaller than it? It's like a transistor radio trying to tune in. Rightly. Mom, but you can't wear a small anymore. No bad. Well, anyway, so, so they go see Dr. Jackie. And of course, Dr. Jackie top forms. She's like, well, you're fat. And, uh, look, here's a picture of your baby, who's also fat. We've got your baby on a running program. Yeah. She inside your stomach. Yeah. Yeah. She's running through a, your baby is running through the woods in your stomach right now holding, holding gallons of water. Um, uh, my, this, I guess they don't know the sex of the baby yet, but my only thought was, I just hope the baby doesn't come out with Todd's beard. Because that's why I think it's going to happen. Yeah. And while they're taking pictures of the baby, what do you call that? Sonogram. Yeah. Well, they're getting this on a gram. They kind of hear, you know, you hear in there and you know that that baby was singing off key. Candy's face didn't look happy enough. It's like she saw that her baby was singing off key and it was really short and had like a really bad goatee and platform shoes. It's like momma, that is wrong. You know, you know, it's bad when candy says, well, if we don't get the sex we want, we're going to try again. Yeah. Exactly. It's already read. She's already preparing the entire family for a dewoper. I know. Like, look, if one of them comes, I've got to have a me eventually, right? Yeah. Way to, uh, by the way, way to give that kid an automatic, uh, issue for life. Like, Oh, you were the one that we didn't want. We're going to do a dewoper for you. Uh, so next we go over to Phaedra, who is wearing a justice headband. Yes. For her kitchen. Yes. And, uh, getting all fancy for Portia and you know when Portia's coming over, it's time to whip out the Costco freezer goods. Yeah. Because you're about to make a buffet. Yeah. Exactly. I'm surprised you didn't have a bunch of those Costco, uh, wraps, you know, with the cream cheese and the turkey in them. You know, just get a big old tray for Portia. A little brownie, those, like brownie cake things. The bin of the brownies, or you know what she should have gotten? You know, my favorite Costco, uh, thing is, is the, uh, Costco bun cake. Ooh, that's a good bun cake. You just get that for Portia. I never trusted bun cake. I didn't like the mold. I thought it was creepy. I just didn't like it. The Costco bun cake is the shit. It's, you know, it's filled with all sorts of preservatives to make it super moist and it's all chocolatey. Ooh, it's good. I haven't had it in years. Well, I'm jealous that Portia can eat so much and still be so gorgeous, that bitch. You know, she's getting all the food out and then we're immediately back to Phaedra's weird sayings. Yeah. That are really awkward and oddly sexual, but I don't ever understand what she means. Yeah. She's like, Ooh, look it. Look it. Portia, Portia. Look at those bosom buddies. Got milk, big booty tangerine. And by the way, I want to point out that Portia shows up in a Rolls Royce. Okay. I mean, if this is, if you've ever seen like a flashing sign of foreclosure, this is it right here. I'm sorry. Dish Nation may have gotten picked up, but she is not earning Rolls Royce money off of Dish Nation. That is ridiculous. And that is what we call a lease. Yeah. Full paycheck is going to that car. That's what young people do. That's why a Vanderpump rules are all in BMWs now. When did that happen? Well, the BMW is slightly more realistic than a Rolls Royce. I mean, this Rolls Royce, she probably got it from Slade. Yeah, but that's Atlanta's version. Atlanta always goes bigger. Yeah, that's true. That's her version of Kristen's BMW. But yeah, that thing is ridiculous. Oh my gosh. And she has a new ass. I think, I mean, I think the implications that she got an ass implant because she now has a full on bookshelf back there. Like that is an IKEA bajursta bookshelf. Well, she's always had a gigantic, I know, but it's so big now. It's like, it's unnaturally big now. It's like one of those old-fashioned dresses that like women wear in like Victorian age or like during like La Bella Pac, you know, like, but just comes out in the back and there's like wire frame underneath. Yeah, it's like in the olden days when they had those big shells on their back, like in the cheers opening. Yeah, exactly. Little parasols. Like she needs to have a parasol. Yeah. Yeah, but Fadra has really escaped the house. So I think of just mutilating her face. So I guess she's just gonna add shit to her ass instead. I mean, you gotta keep. Well, not Fadra. No, Porsche. Porsche has it. I always get that confused. I think she's done a little bit of stuff to her face, but mainly she's gone after her boobs and her butt. I love also that Porsche, you know, when we first saw her on the show and she was with Cordell, she was like the sweet, innocent one, you know, with like a little bit of a temper, but she was like the wide-eyed, innocent to the world, naive to everything. And now she's just like, "Gah!" She's like, "I got an ass. I got this. I got that." Now she's fucking dudes on Insta with her FaceTime. She's like, "Last night I was on FaceTime. You are so sexy. He's so sexy." I just die. And Porsche is the first one to say, "I'm leaving my truth. No apologies." What is her truth? What is your truth, Porsche? Do you have a truth? I don't know. That's the fun part. You never know the truth. You just know that she's living it. Listen, she just got her tagline from the fortune cookie. Let's be honest, you know. I'm surprised. I, I'm surprised her opening line wasn't like 5, 13, 7, 8. Lucky numbers. Of course she read the wrong side of the fortune cookie. That both have to like. What? That's not an opening stupid. This is an Instagram. You have to say something. She's like her. I imagine the opening, she has her hands on her hip. She'll eat more Chinese food. You ever get that one? I've gotten that one a few times, but you ever get that one of fortune cookie? Eat more Chinese food? No, I get like, it's all about to happen. And it's never happened. I'm a trust a cookie. Never trust a cookie. I know, I shouldn't. So the main gossip here is that as the Cynthia stuff that feels so old, because I guess we've talked about it probably a little bit. Happened a while ago. Yeah. But yeah, so Peter gets caught in some clubs, some girls taking a secret video of him, basically kissing some young thing and putting, putting his hand on her neck. Yeah, it really looks really, really bad. If there's an innocent explanation, it's a hard one to sell. And so Portia and Phaedra start talking about it. And then we cut to Cynthia and the music's all like, it's like scary Cynthia. And so we see Peter walking into their house and he's like, Cynthia, Cynthia. Oh, God, this love. Oh, babe, babe. I'm whole, babe, babe. I'm whole, babe. And she's drinking on that. My husband just cheated. Glance, glass of wine. It's like a whole tub full of wine. It's like half the bottle. And it's like, oh, no husband cheated. Mm hmm. And she's all mad. She's giving all sorts of attitude. It's like, uh oh, now he's really the dog house. Now he's only gonna be able to spend 90% of all her money. Yeah. And he's trying to pretend that it didn't, uh, it was no big deal. He's like, whatever, it was no big deal. So I was in the picture. I don't care. I mean, I leaned over and I whispered to her. I said, uh, the free coffee promo code is peep room. That's it. That's it. That's it. And then I was like, Peter. Oh, go ahead. Now I can say, I then I saw some coffee grounds on her lapel. So I just wanted to brush them off very slowly though, because I didn't want to hurt her. So just slowly brush them off. Mm hmm. Yeah. I was just, uh, uh, I was eating pumpkin spice latte take off of the China, you know, that wasn't even in the picture. Oh, wrong one. Okay. Yeah. Stupid. Peter's trying to act like it's nothing. Oh, I just leaned over. No, you were like holding this girl's neck and kissing her. And the interesting thing here for me is that Cynthia, this music, like Cynthia is a threat to anyone ever. Okay. Like, yeah. No one. Okay. I'll stop there. But Cynthia is not a threat. So they're making it like this big dramatic thing. And then she's mad not that he's cheating or like most likely cheating. She's mad that it's on Instagram and he's embarrassing her because she keeps going over and over like, well, this is embarrassing. And you were caught. And she says throughout this episode, oh, I don't believe Peter cheated. I believe that he does stupid things, like every man. It's like, uh, well, I, I actually, in a weird way, I kind of get what she's saying because it's like either you cheated, which is bad, or you did something that makes it look like you're cheating, which you shouldn't have been doing in the first place and were bait were public figures. And now I've got to deal with all this shit. And, and I'll have to defend you. And it's already hard enough because you're already such a dipshit. So I actually kind of understood what she was saying. And, and I think she's right. He's, I mean, it is embarrassing. Even if it was totally innocent, you know, he has to know better, especially because it's not like this was a telephoto lens. This was some girl directly adjacent to them holding up a camera, like right in their faces. And you still didn't notice. Yeah. Well, he's there. He's in Charlotte, spending her money on some business that he purposely made away from home. So he didn't have to be there with Cordell. Risen Cordell, his business partner, which is shady also. So there's obviously something already going on there that it just kind of leads me to the feeling that it's not that is he cheating. Like, of course, like, she I don't even think she probably gives a shit, like listening to you. Like she says later in the episode, I think she's just like, look, if we're going to stay married, you can't be making out with girls on camera. You, you make me look like an idiot. Like, if you're going to be, if you're going to, if we're going to do this and be cool with each other, then be cool. Don't be on fucking Instagram, making out with hosts. Yeah, I still don't see what she gets out of this relationship. But, um, and you know, he is such a creep. Like when she does call him out and says like, you know, you're, you're kissing someone and touching all of her neck and he goes, that's what it looks like to you as if she's an idiot. Like, oh, oh, that's what it looks like to you. Like, what else does it look like? Yeah, it's like, it doesn't look like you guys are sitting there having a political conversation. Okay, you guys, you're touching her neck and her, and her boob and kissing her and kissing her. You're getting close or telling her you want to kiss her. You know, like, what else? And then I like what she gets out of being with Peter is that I think Cynthia is probably just really not interested in having a man. I think she's probably just like, fuck this. I wanted to do my own thing, but it's very difficult to really be anyone, but especially be a woman and have that kind of or, and I think she's just with so much, she likes her friends and it's what she needs to say on the show, maybe. She can kind of control him or whatever and just be herself and do her own thing. Exactly. No, but the, you know, Peter was, the whole thing. He was so squirrely. He didn't, he wasn't even contrite. He wasn't even like, listen, it was totally innocent, but I see how it looks and I'm really sorry for putting you in that position. I'm sorry, it looks terrible. You know, I love you. And let me, I don't think that then people think that. So what? Yeah, he should have been like, I realize it looks terrible and all I can do is, you know, earn back your trust and your love and I'm going to do everything I can to win it back. Like, it was innocent, but you know, like every, it's so easy, but instead he was just defensive and he was like, well, it was a young lady who frequents my bar, which by the way shows that he is, he is already guilty because he starts doing the fake, you know, the reality star legal talk. You know, that when, when reality stars are trying to prove the case, they start trying to formalize their, their, their, what they say, like, it was a young lady who frequents my bar. Well, what transpired was what transpired. That's, I'm surprised he didn't say transpire. That is like, they go to reality star word. Like, well, nine 59 pm on the corner of what and who knows, you know, transpiring was a very lengthy, argumentative story. And if anything, you see multiple ways through a camera. And then he starts defending her. He's like, well, that young lady is actually a nice person. Like, what? Don't even say that to your wife right now. No kidding. He's like, stop trying to make her out to be a hoe on Instagram. That's not cool, wife. Yeah, exactly. And yeah. And in fact, when Cindy is cheap saying the embarrassing thing, he's like, well, look at it again. It's like, what? Don't don't tell your wife to look at it again. Just apologize. You dipshit. It's like the 911 videos. Like, let's just all come up with our own ways. He's like, listen, the reason that the mistress melted was because you went down her throat and she melted from the inside. Don't ask. Look at it again. If you look, you'll see she's not actually a real human being. It was actually a mannequin. But I didn't like that. That's that Peter thing, most of me fast Peter for a minute, because then it all becomes about Peter for the next hour. True. So now we get to meet Poisha, who lives an hour outside of town because God knows, you know, she's fucked up credit with every landlord Matt town. Her in Kenya are probably on the same list. Yeah. Her ass is in like a Marriott somewhere. Yeah. She is like, she needs like a hotel room that has like, she needs like a joining rooms with the door because the ass is in one room and she's in the other. Yeah. She's like, I love you. I need time alone. Yeah. He's big. So she is meeting her new man from Instagram, her Instagram, who's 24 years old. Okay, the first things we know about him is that he's wearing copper, like penny, copper, tennis shoes that are untied. I'm like, he is going to trip. And also he's bragging about being worth a penny. I'm not sure about this yet. Yeah, I'm sure. I didn't even notice his untied shoes. What are you doing? You're in the NFL and you're walking around with untied shoes. You're gonna trip and hurt your leg. Yeah. So Portia bagged her in NFL. Man. Score. And his name is Duke. And when he finally started talking, it was like, yeah, I almost missed my flight, but I got it, which was but it was scary because I could have missed it. And but I didn't miss it. So I'm here and I'm like, really, you know, I'm glad because I could have missed my flight. Like, great. Great. Yeah. Awesome. Cool story, bro. Yeah. Write that down. And then Portia. Oh, baby. I requested the best champagne they have. Cupcake. I know I wrote that down too. No, girl. Something called Andre Andre. Like send me the best champagne you have. That's the Bravo room. Just send with the cupcake. Okay. Oh, you can see. I mean, you know, this is a chance for the hotel to make an easy buck. You know, they're like, okay, let's give her like the $300 bottle. Like, no, let's just give it a $12 one. That's just too cruel. Too cruel. Why waste this beautiful champagne on these people? I'm not sure that introducing him to my family. I think he's the best thing since sliced bread. And I love bread or low sub bread, any kind of bread. But Mama says he's like swallowing dough. I mean, he is young. He is really young. He looks on, but he I think the issue is that he seems like he has no person. He just seems kind of dumb. But then again, so is Portia. Well, he seems smarter than Portia to me. He seems to be like, what's going on? Like behind his eyes, I see what's going on here. Oh, I saw it as like, he seems a little confused. Yeah, that's true. It probably was pretty confusing for him. I mean, I will say this though. I mean, he is hot. I mean, good for her. Good for her for finding a young man and making him take off his shirt right there on camera. I was like, yeah, you do that, Portia. Good for you. And then they go into the bedroom and she says, you're going to own this ass tonight? Yeah. And by the way, go to town in case I ever make like romantic greeting cards. And note that she gave him a V neck and did not take the price tag off. And not even after he put it on, did you take the price? Like, you know, she's not paying for that shit. That's going right back to the store. First lesson, how to tuck a tag. Yeah, seriously. How to deal with customer service agents at Target. So next we get Kenya and Cynthia for a nice, lovely ride in Kenya's car that she can't afford. And by the way, by the way, do they make on this show that they're all riding around in houses on wheels? I don't know. I, I make me want, I want to join the show now so that way I can have some fake luxury. But you know, by the way, I was a little surprised that it took this long for Kenya to have her first scene in the season premiere because she's kind of like Kenya is more or less like the star of the show now, right? Wouldn't you say which argument can be made for that, right? Yeah, she is. I would think she's the star. She's the big star. Hey, that's for sure. Yeah. I mean, even last year, when Nini was essentially absent for most of the season, they still gave her a slot right in the beginning to be like, I'm going on Cinderella. Yeah, but if you're fucked over by a man that will always win, like, can you really has got to get a man to get fucked over by? Because especially in Atlanta, when your man does you wrong, that's when you're the star, like no matter what. Yeah, that's why Nini even tried to invent divorce and shit when she wasn't even having problems. You know, all that stuff was so made up with Nini. He's like, well, now Greg isn't giving me what I need. And now I'm divorcing him and making him sleep in the basement. It's like, what? Well, out of nowhere. Oh, what? Now we're going to have a spin off about our renewal or vowel renewals. Oh, shut up. Get out of here. Anyway, she needs to find a man to get fucked over by. So they're taking a drive. And then Cynthia, Cynthia's like, I know you want to ask me about Peter. So let me just say that in our heart of hearts, we feel love. And every day I strive to make this a better country. Well, my husband might make mistakes. The important part is that he wants to spend more time with the family. I'm like, you are not running for mayor. Stop giving. Yeah. Your man cheated on Instagram. Just say it and keep driving. You know, listen, there are a lot of employees and clients at the Bailey Agency who are very concerned right now, and they need a strong leader. Hmm. Okay, once you turn, we're going to learn how to ignore our husband's cheating so that we can continue our money flow without having half of it taken away. Cut to the rest of the room. And there's just a janitor there being like, why are you telling me this? Because one day you're going to have a half that one day you're going to birth a daughter and she's going to need modeling classes. And I need business. Cynthia seems so nice and like I have no hate for Cynthia at all. Me neither. I actually like, I think that Cynthia seems like actually a pretty good person and generally nice and smart. You know, she sometimes does annoying things. Sometimes he gets a little uppity. And last season, she was a little bit on her own stupid rampage, but I still think she's generally a good person. I just think she's trying to be a bitch and she's a good person. And I respect it. You know, like you're trying to keep your job, but this whole episode they kept doing things like da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, and then Cynthia does this half squint thing. Like she's doing this like, I'm really meaning it right now because I'm tough Cynthia. She's made this like face. And she says things like, he's not cheating. He's just stupid. And it's like, oh, Cynthia's tough. And it just never works. Like she's always just trying to fake it. Yeah. She's ultimately weak. She always has been, you know, that's what we like about her, you know. I don't need to see her necessarily on my TV, but I think she's just very nice. And, you know, I just want to like have her and stuff. She's got a beautiful, lovely daughter. She just needs to be on TV less. I like when she's just, you know, like a friend of the friend. And also I have Dr. Laura in my head because I love that radio show or I used to. And it's like you married a loser. You cannot cry now that he's a loser. Like I do not feel sorry for you. We all knew your family tried to stop it. Like, and he's been a loser since the very, very beginning. It's not like one of these things where we like him at first and then it turns out he's a loser or he's a loser. Then we start to like him, but then he turns into a loser. He's been consistently a loser. He didn't trick you. Yeah. Always, always a loser. So the news with Cynthia is also, by the way, she's making eyewear now. It's the entrepreneurial endeavor of the season. I wish it was, it's mostly sunglasses. And I really wish it was glasses without lenses. Yeah. Like just fashion glasses that you don't really even mean, but you wear them to look smart. Yeah. I think, you know, as real housewife endeavors go, I mean, I think Cynthia Bailey doing sunglasses is, you know, it's like a solid, it's a solid idea, but I still don't think it's very strong. It's not like, you know, it's just, you know, it's, it's, it's, it's a middle of the pack sort of entrepreneurial endeavor. You know, I trust her doing sunglasses over someone like Kenya. Darling, it's a gas station carousel waiting to happen. But yeah, I don't, I still don't see a huge amount of success in this endeavor. Um, well, whatever it is, I hope that Peter's okay with half of it. Yeah. How long can she put up with this? I know. So they, so driving around, so now they're driving around. Yeah. So now they're driving to see Kenya's but before the house that she's building, but before they get to Kenya's house, we stop at Chateau Shirei and we see Chateau Shirei and it looked like a giant house made of cardboard. Was that like a big cardboard house with like glue or maybe a gingerbread house? All I know is it's, it's, it's been up. I mean, it's been four years. It's like, I've actually spelled a gingerbread house just to get the freaking humongous NFL player back to eat something. He'd be like, I'm coming back, babe. Yeah, you've made the house out of cookies. I'm back in. Yeah. So of course, Kenya has to use her first scene of the entire season to bash array before she's even on screen by stopping in front of Chateau Home Depot box. Yeah. And it's, I mean, it's cute. It's like one of those Nuvo homes where like we were talking about last week where people are like, I want to castle. And castles have horse, you know, gigantic hollow plastic horses hugging in the air in front of their home or whatever, you know, water fountains. Yeah. In reality, you know, they're just like projects with sandwich shops. Yeah. All castles, castles. It's certainly no Danish castle, that's for sure. So she makes fun of Chateau, Sire, Chateau, she can't pay. Yeah. And then we go on to, then we see Kenya's new home, which to Kenya's credit, at least it's not a typical McMansion. It has a windy driveway and it's sort of shaped like a big shoe box on one end. And it's a decrepit crack house kind of. Yes, it's very rundown and broke. But she does buy it. She did buy it. I mean, when you buy foreclosure, you buy that shit. So I have to say, you know, you're not going to be living in your car, your car may be taken away one day, but at least you'll have a house to live in and not the other way around Porsche. Yeah, I actually thought it was cool. So I'm excited to see how that gets rehabbed. What's that 80s movie, like modern style house, you know, yeah, everything is going to be that colored blown glass. Mm hmm. Yeah, there'll be some circular windows. Mm hmm. Yeah. Yeah. I miss those houses, actually. I remember growing up, everyone had those houses, even actually, even my house growing up, my parents built like an addition to it. We used to have like this really small house and then they built this whole like a like a section to it. And it totally had that asymmetric 80s roof on it where it's like this big angled slant, you know, because you know, the classic houses, it comes together at a point. It's two slants reaching at the top. But in the 80s, it was all about having that rooftop that was just one big angle. And that's totally what we have. Totally 80s darling. Totally. Oh my god, darling. You lived it. I lived the 80s. And he was walking through and Cynthia's pretending that she's so afraid of spiders and she can't imagine life in a used home, basically. And it's like, oh, well, you know, at least she doesn't have somebody, you know, stinking up her house. And by the way, credit to Cynthia, after all these years, she's still in this small house that she's had since the beginning. Like it's that it's like that weird house that is like attached to another house or something. It's like a two family home or whatever. Kenya and Cynthia both prove on this show, when you're actually making your own money, you're, you know, a little bit more respectful of how you spend it generally. I mean, Kenya is rolling around in the rolls and Cynthia is rolling around in a Peter. But for the most part, you know, they're like, this is my investment. I will sell when I can make more money, you know, I'm going to work for that money. They're waiting for some man. And Cynthia's house is totally nice. But it's just funny because everyone else has these ridiculous McMansions that they obviously can't afford. And she and Peter are still in the same, you know, pretty, pretty modest house as, as these housewives go. Well, you got to be able to find Peter immediately to see what his ass is doing. Because you know, it's always doing something wrong. She'd probably get another house, but it would be so expensive to rewire the whole thing to be like catching him in the act. Well, I'm sure every time they're ready to buy a new house, she's like, Oh, hey, babe, sorry. By the way, I, I bought a warehouse downtown and we're going to have all our Peter's brew operations there and the entire Peter brew cafe is going to be a big warehouse. We're opening the Peter's Payless. The things like shoes, but plastic. We were just about to close on the house. Why did you spend the money? Every single time he buys another warehouse by a highway. Man, Cynthia is one of those girls. I just wish I could give one piece of advice to you and it would solve everything. Girl, change your pin number. Yeah. Yeah. Change it. Change it. So anyway, Staedra and her mother, her mother, who's now the nanny. God bless her heart. God bless for moms. They pretty much spent this scene talking about Apollo and, you know, talking to Apollo and she's going to divorce Apollo and uh, Phaedra's running from a mayor speech. This is the beginning of the season where everybody gets their opening statements. Everybody gets to say, here's what's going on in my life from my side. And this is Phaedra like, well, you know, of course, mother, I'm upset, but our family is the most important thing and our children getting to speak to him is very important, which is why I take calls from him. Yeah. But he said publicly that he wanted a divorce. So I'm going to just give him what he wanted publicly. His mom's like, yes, he sure asked for that. You know, they're framing it like, remember when Apollo asked me for a divorce? And now I'm only doing what he asked. Please stop me a terrible mother on Twitter. Exactly. But what I also loved was this was almost, this is almost like the nicest they've spoken about Apollo in a while. You know, it's like, well, you know, sometimes we get nice at hospitals, we get not nice Apollo. And then Phaedra says, he's had a lot of time to, and he thinks she's gonna say, think about things or be introspective. But she's like, no, he's got a lot of time to get on my nerves, even from prison. I'm like, oh, okay, that's it. I totally thought she was gonna say something nice. Like, like, he's thought about things. He's thought about our marriage. Nope. He's just annoying me more. Yeah, Phaedra can try, but she can never, ever, ever hide the Shadra underneath it all. Never, never. So Candy and Todd are up next, because speaking of, I guess we're gonna end up with Phaedra talking about her version with the reality version, at least according to Todd, which who knows, because he's a total Apollo dick sucker. But he and Candy are clearing their garage for a baby, whatever that means. Like, I don't know if they're gonna put the baby in the garage. Time to buy a new house, to add on to their compound. Just put it in Mama Joyce's old house, still there with no walls. All the walls are beaten in. Etsy knows these aren't the sounds of holiday gifting. Oh, or, oh, okay. Thank you. Well, they're not the sounds you're hoping for. You want squeals of delight, like this. Ooh. And spontaneously written songs of joy. I am so happy. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. To get those, make everyone on your list feel heard with gifts like personalized jewelry, custom artwork, vintage pieces, and home decor. For original gifts that say, I get you, Etsy has it. Hey, I'm Ryan Reynolds. Recently, I asked Mint Mobile's legal team if big wireless companies are allowed to raise prices due to inflation. They said, yes. And then when I asked if raising prices technically violates those onerous to your contracts, they said, what the f*ck are you talking about? You insane Hollywood f*ck. So to recap, we're cutting the price of Mint Unlimited from $30 a month to just $15 a month. Give it a try at mintmobile.com/switch. $45 up from payment equivalent to $15 per month, new customers on first three month plan only, taxes and fees extra, speed slower above 40 gigabytes of detail. So they're moving stuff and Todd somehow brings this around to speaking of things that need to be cleaned up. Your friend, Phaedra owes me money. And if she's going to be talking shit about Apollo, and not even paying me. And so he's going after her for money now, which is the ultimate insult for Phaedra. So now we know how to get a bitch. And while now we also realize why can the Phaedra have rifted now at all now it all makes sense. There is money there is money involved. Phaedra did not pay Todd for her fine baby DVD. And now we see where because it didn't make sense last year. Why are they why are they rifting? They said they're rifting. Neither one of them feels enough to fight about feelings. Like they don't feel then I'm not saying they don't have feelings, but they don't have the normal girl like, I don't know, they don't have the normal girl drama. They're pretty real. That's why they were fun friends. But of course, yeah, when it comes down to money. Yeah, that's there. That's both of their kryptonites. Yeah, and Candy is pretty, she's pretty alpha. She's so sweet and so nice in the show. But like, you don't fuck with her. Like you just don't fuck with Candy. If you do, you're going to be iced out. And you know, she was taken advantage of once by Kim Zolciak. And it's not going to happen again. Yeah, well, we find out in the previous for next week that he did pay her 30,000 bucks, but he still is owed eight. But we'll get to that next week. But for now, it's about money. And Candy's like, I really don't want to be talking to Phaedra about money. But she's going to have to. Yes, she will. What do you think of this Todd and Apollo thing? I think it's weird. To be honest, I think Apollo really, he broke the law. And he admitted that he broke the law. And I, I've always been someone that believes that friends are a pretty good reflection of, of who you are. And I know you should be judged by who you are, not your friends. Da, da, da, da. But I don't think I personally would want to keep hanging out with someone who is a criminal. Like, if, if, if, if someone, if one of my good friends I found out was doing something shady like that, I'd be like, okay, cool. Like I'd still, maybe I'd be friendly with them after they got out of jail eight years later. But I wouldn't still be like chatting with them on the phone and like, holding on to their motorcycles. Like, yeah, we're best friends. Yeah, hate to fraud some people. It's like, no, like, dude, like you are shady. And one thing I've learned in life is that when you know someone is shady, and you think, oh, but we're friends, whatever, they wouldn't be shady to me, they're always going to be shady to you at one point. I've, I have a very specific, I have a very specific experience with someone who I was always like, yeah, this guy, he's, he's like a snake in the grass, but like, we're cool. And it's fun to watch him being a snake of the grass to other people, but he wouldn't be a snake in the grass to me. And sure enough, yeah, turns around and gets you. Yeah. My thing isn't even the criminal stuff. It's mostly just thinking, okay, these three guys hanging out. So it's Peter, Todd, and Apollo. Yeah. What the hell do you think they're doing? Nothing good. Yeah, because every time one of them's in trouble, it is nothing good. Nothing good. I think even being on the criminal stuff, it's like, that seems like if I was a wife, I'd be like, uh, oh, I also think too that candy was friends with, with Phaedra first, right? That's where their friendship is. And then Todd got to know Apollo through that and they became friends and everything. But I think it's actually kind of messed up that they are like on Apollo side or whatever when Phaedra, like the link is Phaedra, you know, it should be that candy is loyal to Phaedra. And ultimately, I think Todd should should back up his wife and her friendship with Phaedra. But of course, now we learn about the money stuff. So now it's like, oh, now everything starts to make sense. Also, candy is forgiving. Like, she doesn't, she's forgiving in so much as she'll still be nice to you in public. But candy is not an idiot. And Phaedra really fucked her over, uh, as far as emotionally. Because candy, I think was actually friends with Phaedra. And so when Phaedra pulled some real house wise bullshit in their friendship, I think it wasn't like you're done. Like you're not, it's not even all of the, you're not there and blah, blah, blah. When she, oh, that's what you're saying. I'm sorry. Yeah. When she pulled all of that, like going after her really for no reason. Yeah. Instead of talking to her and like real lining and all of that shady shit that she was doing, I think candy was like, fuck you. Like, I thought we were real friends and now you're just going to be a real housewife with me, then fine. We'll be real house wise friends. Bye. Right. Well, I, yeah. Well, I think also, yeah, I think candy was probably caught off guard. I mean, I don't think candy is totally innocent. She probably could have been more supportive to Phaedra than maybe we really don't know the situation. We don't know what role this money played in it. We don't know what role beyond the emotional stuff that, whether it was real or not, Phaedra going to Nimi and making it a thing with Nimi against Phaedra, that's when it became like betrayal. It went beyond your feelings and it became like a realignment. That was shit. Yeah, because candy thought they were still good. And you know, because you know what it is, sometimes you have friends where you're so, you're so good with that, even if you like don't talk for like a month and a half, you know, you're still good. You just, you, because you trust the friendship, you know, that everyone's busy doing their own thing, you know. But yeah, I thought that was Shadia Phaedra last season. And because candy is kind of blindsided and she was very sad about it. Right, you know, if you heard her feelings like that, then you showed them your true colors and I think she'll be like now. Yeah, and they also really egged on Phaedra too. She felt right for it. Like there was the big fight and and candy stayed back. So you didn't get up from the table. And then Phaedra was like, you know, they were like, well, notice that candy didn't come up and come, didn't get up and come after you, Phaedra. Did you notice that can? Did Phaedra candy was candy stayed back? You can see where loyalties are, where they are. They've always had a guilty look to me during that whole thing. Like she knew that it wasn't cool. Yeah, what she was doing, but she just did it anyway. She seemed to know, in my mind, I mean, who knows? See, not just mix it up while I watch this, but she seemed to feel not right about it because she wasn't going after it with as much verve as she usually does this shit. But anyway, it's kind of sad. But for the most part, I'm down with someone like candy. He's like, okay, you're officially full of shit by Hey, did you know that? Do you know how Phaedra got on the show? No, because I didn't either. And it was this in the tea thing that this guy was spilling. And I'm so sorry, but we sifted and I couldn't find it. But just general, just general, he was saying that it was all this gossip about different housewives and Bravo and how they relate to Bravo. And hers was, she gave them Whitney and Bobby, which put them on the map. And they always wanted her to be in front of the camera and she wouldn't do it. And then they finally talked her into it. So, I mean, I guess she's been around for a long time and they've been trying to get her on camera. I never knew that. Yeah, that's interesting. I didn't know that either. Anyway, so let's go back to the show. There was a, there was a scene with like candy and Todd and Riley, which they're like maternity dresses, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, so then we, then we have Cynthia, and I just have this note where I wrote Cynthia saying, she's talking about her, her eyewear. And she goes, the Cynthia Bailey train is on the move. And I'm like, yeah, that's why there's the phrase train wreck. Okay, like your train may be on the move, but it's not going anywhere good. Right now, I'll tell you that much. And then her sister, Mallory comes, Mallory, Mallory comes over in a visit and she's got this like Wednesday, Adam Z. Yeah, she's a leader at the beginning. Since the beginning, Mal has hated Peter. And now she is so excited. Oh, she comes over when wearing told you so face. Yeah, she's like, hello, told you. Actually, that's, that's kind of her face is always told you so face. And she's, I think sometimes shocked that she doesn't have the opportunity to say, told you so, she's like, wait a second. I thought for sure I was gonna be able to tell you told you so today. It's like Cynthia's like, wow, Mallory, I haven't seen you in so long. Why are your face makes sense today? I think this is the first time that I've ever understood it. Yeah. Mallory is like, hello, how are you feeling told you so? Yeah, told you so Cynthia, told you told you Cynthia. So Peter, like, you can't be, you can't be, she basically saying like, so Peter, right? Like, so you're gonna divorce him now, right? And then this one, Cynthia is doing this whole thing, you know, like, I don't know where I stand, da, da, da, da, da, and miles higher. Well, are you attracted to Peter anymore? And she's like, Cindy's like, yeah, I am. She's like, even with the clothes off? Yeah, she's like, tell the truth. This was cold, Mallory, because you know, you know that Cynthia told her that in private already. And she's making your say hit on camera. Yeah, which is a dick move, Mallory. Oh my God. So good. So good. Yeah. And Cynthia's like, no. And then that's one, of course, Cynthia then starts making excuses, like, well, I mean, you know, he wasn't a supermodel when I married him. I know that much. And like, I'm not going to give up on this. I mean, how many times does he have to mess up? Yeah, I think, I don't even know what to say about their relationship, but just Mallory was hilarious. No, are you attracted to him naked? Really? Tell the truth. Oh, you have to want to fuck him. Like, oh, now she's like, so do you think you guys will stay married for a long time? Yeah, really? No. We'll be here for you. Well, we told you we would be here for you. And we were here for you. Just like we told you that Peter was terrible and he's terrible. We're always right. Yeah, we love you. We love you. Love you. Yeah, no, this is, I just don't understand. Like Peter has fucked up so many times. I understand that Cynthia doesn't want to give up for better or for worse, but how many for worsees have to happen before for worse becomes normal? I don't know. Getting upset that you you got a puppy and then it shits on the rug. Like you're with a puppy. I mean, in this case, it's not cute and cuddly and forgivable. It's like a total douchebag who is like disrespecting you from day one. But even a puppy learns even a puppy learns at a certain point. Well, old dogs don't know. I mean, that's why you should get a puppy and not adopt. Okay, thanks for listening to watch what crappins. I wear launch. We'll Peter make it. So yes, I really hoped that Peter makes it. I told him that there were going to be a lot of 20 year olds and no one was allowed to open their insta. I liked how when when Phaedra walked into the party, when as soon as she walked the door, we just hear her go, Hmm. I just love that. Even if they just took it from a different part of the show, they just just walk in already disappointed and shady. So enter the Arco Foodmark. Yeah. The Arco Foodmark, where there are lots of sunglasses carousels. Yeah. And M&Ms. And people are just scrolling through them, trying them on. I'm like, wow, aviator glasses. Yeah. This is silent disco. I hate silent discos, but there's one of those going on, you know, with the head that just goes, I once had a birthday party at a bar. And the pally telling the pally. Do you remember this? I do. When there was a silent disco going on. So there was no music going on on my birthday party. And it was so awkward. Because you couldn't just have that it's either you put on the earphones and then you can't talk to anyone or you talk to people and it's silent and it's awkward. Oh, still on my own with others. Yeah. It's fine about times beam. But then also we were rolling our eyes at that shit, like four years ago Atlantic, get with it. Yeah, seriously. So then seriously. So then Candy enters and Candy is just like me. She's like, you know, I'm already hungry. I'm like, yeah, me too. Oh, for candy. She found a t-shirt to wear. Yeah. How was Candy not gone shopping for maternity clothes? Candy, you're rich, bitch. No shopping. Yeah, get yourself a moo moo. Get you some pee in the pod. They have cute stuff. Yeah. Lord knows I've ended up there enough time, not for myself, but you know, with preggy friends. So let's see. So then Marlow shows up Marlow Hampton. She's back. And they're all talking. And Kenya's chatting with Marlow and says that Shire lives on the corner and literally on the corner. Yeah. So Kenya is immediately going in. So she is attacking Shire, this entire episode already. She is ready for Shire, and she thinks she's going to take her down. Does this bitch, is this bitch crazy? Yeah. No, Kenya has, Kenya has gone after some, some big targets. And that's what she's great for. But she's got to know that she's not going to be able to take down Shire. Believe it or not, I think Shire is harder to take down than Nini. It just so happens that Andy like Nini, which is why Shire got kicked off the show. But Shire, I mean, she was the villain of season one. I mean, she is, you cannot take down Shire Woodfield. And even Nini couldn't take down Shire, like in. Yeah, Shire does not care. That's the thing. Nini cares. I mean, Nini gets so defensive because she really cares when people are telling her off on Twitter and telling her all this stuff. Like she gets very defensive. Shire not so much. She'll just punch you. Yeah. She'll take your wig off. Okay. Shire, chasing Nini out of that restaurant, screaming about her porcelain teeth, and her least car or whatever. Yeah, exactly. Was probably the funniest bucket thing I've ever seen. I mean, let's, and let's not forget, fix your teeth, fix your face. Wasn't that Shire said fix your face to fix your teeth? Right. I think so, because that's where I'm very rich, bitch. That's where that comes from. Yeah, no, Shire, you don't mess with Shire. And Shire, when she does come back, which I guess we'll get to crazy, crazy face. She comes back and it's like the Hulk. Yeah, literally, but we'll get to that in just a second. So first, though, we have, so Cynthia's late to her own party, and Phaedra's like, that is a faux pas, which in French means, no, no. I'm like, yeah, Phaedra, I think we know it a faux pas. I don't think we have to have it. Thank you. Thank you for educating us on French. In Spanish, it's no, no. Thank you, Phaedra. You multilingual doll. And didn't, as in Phaedra, famously late for all her baby showers and stuff like that, I would do this. Yeah. So then, so here, don't take me in on the helicopter until Mr. President is his number three of the Billboard charts. I need all, I need all nine birthday cakes lined up before I arrive. So then Peter does show up. And sure enough, so he comes over to Kenya and Marlow. And I'm here to support Cynthia. I'm wearing Ray Benz. Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, Kenya's being like a little cold, but she's not honestly Kenya's being pretty controlled considering it's Kenya. Right? Oh, gosh. He's just giving him a hello. Yeah. That's her classic move. Like she's kind of play being mean to him. Yeah. Well, she's doing these like, I'm not going to be a hug. Hello, Peter. And then she's like, so where have you been? And she's like, Oh, you know, I was just hanging out with the video people. You know, he's making a joke about the girl. What does that mean? Well, you know, the girl from the Instagram, you know, the girl, I was the I was whispering in the ear that girl. Yeah, I had my fingers in her. Yeah, that's not funny, Peter. You know, the girl I was boning, you know, I actually got her a chicken bone, because she likes to don't and we have a lot of chicken with the back, you know, my penis feels like a newborn because it just came out of a vagina. You know, that's just a phrase that just means I know her. She's a she's a very lovely girl who frequents bar one. So I was living that girl fill out a comic card with the tongue on my dick. Yeah, he does poop, he does poop. So he then he they start to get into like a full on fight. And he's like, going after Kenya. But I think Kenya, I mean, obviously Kenya was in the right in this one. She's kind of like, you have to like shut up, you know, and be better. Yeah. And then he goes off on her. He's dumb bitching her everything. What was he? Yeah. Yeah. Not not good, Peter. But he's doing his classic thing. His classic thing of going on, he's just the fuck up, he's stupid bitch. It's like, why don't you just be played by Joe Judas? Yeah. And let's just end this circle. Seriously. So what, who case, so what, who case, who case, so what, bro, bro, bro, then Kenya and and Marlo go over to the circle of women and of course, say exactly what just happened. And then on top of that, Mal shows up and then Mal just tells everything, everything that she just talked to about Cynthia. She's like, yeah, Cynthia does not attract it to Peter. And he has a warden's penis. And sometimes when he comes, it goes out in two different directions. Whoa, Mal, you're telling me everything, aren't you? Yeah, Mal too much now. Really? Yeah, she's giving it up and the ladies are cracking up because she is going so far like, I get that you don't like Peter but Jane, don't you have any sort of allegiance to your sister or Jesus? And then Portia. Well, a girl can't fake it because our heart is connected to Ava China. What? What did you just say? That doesn't even make any sense. Yeah. Yeah. Your vagina is connected to a Wells Fargo. Yeah. Don't get out of here romantic. Yeah, and it's defaulting. Cynthia, you've just been. Yeah. Your vagina is tied to a Wells Fargo account and your vagina Oh said Wells Fargo account. $36 for how we're going at the TJ batch. I have a China's being foreclosed on. That wasn't even a proper Portia voice. It's just what came out. So Cynthia finally arrives in a bikini. Yes. And Peter's like, Oh, that was an entrance. An entrance for your ass. Like, uh, keeping it classy, Peter, keeping it classy. As always, you know, who else made an entrance? My dick into some girlfriend mister. Oh, he's such a such a low life. Uh, candy meeting Sharae was really cute. She's like, Wow, Sharae, you know, she's kind of strong. Yeah. Kind of a candy. Yeah. Candy was saying something about Sharae and she's like, her body is amazing. Oh, yeah. You know, one day, see, and I have to ask her how to bounce back. She's like, I'm going to have to ask her how to get my body to bounce back. I'm like, I'm back to what? Yeah. Come on now. You were never it's, well, everybody. And that's good girl. She wants to meet her entoneman. Sharae would be much happier. She hadn't entered men's once in a while, I'm telling. Well, actually, if you look back to that video for my 10 years ago, where I always forget it every time we talk about it, the name of the, the songs, like, it's like, then she can shake it. You and that booty, they're gonna you and that booty candies in that video. And she's real thin. So technically, she does handy candy, but she looks too thin too skinny. I like her where she is now. Yeah, but never go to Sharae body. You will not be a non cranky person. Yeah. Candy on the diet. Nope. Nope. Nope. Now, by the way, when we love you, when Sharae showed up, some people mentioned this. Bravo did something weird to her voice. It was like they slowed down her voice, because when Sharae first showed up, she was like, Hey girl, how are you today? It's like, what is going on? I am your father. What are they doing to Sharae's voice? It made no sense. Sharae came in and she was like, I'll get that way. Sharae, Nini is gone. All right. Let it go. So it's no surprise that Sharae showed up because Cynthia was on the other end of the party talking about how she wanted to arrive by helicopter. And you know, like, it's like helicopter arrival? Like, it's like a thing of smoke and there comes Sharae. I mean, like, that's my move, the helicopter. Oh, yeah, totally. That was trademarked. That was season two. She wanted the helicopter. That's what she got in the fight with a party planner. I think she should see Brooks just for stealing poetry. She was the first one who wanted poetry and now Brooks does it every episode. She wanted a helicopter and a poet. That's all she wanted. What about how to do customer service? Party planners are lazy in Atlanta, darling, darling. So African tongues. Why am I writing that? Oh, yes. So so Sharae goes over to meet the group. Did I skip anything with Sharae coming in? Nope. Nope. So Sharae goes over to meet the group. And Kenya is ready for her. And a Phaedra, of course, reminds us of the first time that Sharae and Marlow met in Africa. Yeah. Got map by. No, no, no. I'm like, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. That'd have me laugh out on that one. I showed that clip. So what I loved is so so Kenya goes in. This is a classic Kenya. She's smiling and she's like, yeah, we're neighbors. And it's funny because the neighborhood, the whole neighborhood's asking what's going on with your house. And then so you see Kenya's already going in for the kill and you're like, Oh, Kenya, be careful now because then Sharae is like, who's the whole neighborhood? And Sharae, by the way, is sweaty. She's like, got a sweaty face at her mascara. It's almost like she opened her eyes so wide that her mascara made a print on top and bottom. So she's got that Tammy Fay Baker print on her lids and below eyes. Well, the producers were probably like, Hey, Sharae, are you available to shoot tonight? She's like, yeah, I'll be right there. She's like right across Atlanta. I'm here. I'm here. What's going on? Sweating. I rubbed my eyes. Do I have anything on my eyes? No, Sharae. You look great. Let's just keep filming. So crazy face. What? Who are these neighbors? What now? Neighbors? Who are they? And Kenya's like, Well, I love up the block from you. And everyone's complaining about your house because it's like scaring the movies. It's scary in the crack room. She's like, who now? Now maybe you should tell these neighbors that if they own a home and they build a home, they can talk about it. But until then, they can rent. Yeah, I think your neighbors do own a home. Yeah, that's the problem. They want to sell theirs if they don't want Chateau Shray. Also, I think that Kenya's is more of the issue. Yeah, no kidding. And Kenya's like, well, everybody's worried about our property values. I was like, Kenya, you just bought a crack then. Yeah, you just bought a foreclosure. You should be thanking Sharae for lowering the prices. Exactly. Now, now you hope for her to get it remodeled so you make more money. Come on, business woman. And then Kenya starts spouting this bullshit. She's like, well, my father's in construction. And I know for a fact, it takes about six months to build a home in the ground up. It's like, what? Like, why don't you talk to Heather to bro about that, huh? No kidding. But that's not how that house was built anyway. Sharae is like, Oh, yes. Does your family know how long it takes to bag an NFL man long enough to get most of the money to build Chateau Shray from a Morgan standpoint? And then lose said man, and then find a way to get the money to finish said home. Does your family in construction know anything about that? I wasn't built by construction workers. This house was built by my vagina. And it will finish. Yeah, she's like, my vagina is attached to her crane. So, well, the best is though. So Kenya's trying to go at Sharae. And then Sharae is just at first she's just being nice. Well, not nice, but like fake nice. And she's like, she's like, so how's your house? How's it? Is there a lot of mold in there? And then I was like, oh, Kenya's like, I can't believe you said that. Peter's like, oh, Lord. And she's like, yes, and my family's in construction and they know about bald. I like when Kenya starts screaming at people. It's so funny. I know. And then they start yelling. And then that's what I start. I couldn't understand what Sharae said. But at one point, she said something that sounded like, get your coat. There's going to be a flood. You better know how to swim. Maybe you should get your boat. I don't know. I don't know what she said, but talk about a flood and swimming. And I was excited. I just said something like, Sharae, first of all, all of the party has gathered to watch. They're like, we're at a housewives. So they're just eating popcorn and kind of pointing and laughing. Camera phones are out. But she's like, Sharae is screaming at me. And I'm going to slice her like that air mattress she sleeps on. Yeah, that was that was funny. That was a good line. She's acting like I just slashed the air mattress. She's been a lot sleeping on. Every fight on this show ultimately comes down to who's richer. And then, of course, it's not a Kenya fight without Kenya turning herself into the victim. She's like, all of a sudden, she's yelling at me. You know, as if I've done something, or I'm just telling her what the what the neighborhood is saying. That's all I'm doing. I'm just talking about what the neighborhood she's coming after me. She told her only one in your business is the IRS because they ain't got their money. So good. She was so bitchy and mean for no reason. But I like it because it doesn't it brings Sharae back in a place where she's defensive. And that's when she raised the best. Sharae, God, I love when Sharae is the villain. Now I wrote down a note. My last note, I don't it doesn't make any sense. I wonder if I had a typo. I said, Sharae saying Kenya lives in a touch. What soon lives in a touch? I don't know what that means. I'm less of I probably didn't mean touch. I probably someone said touch on screen. I wrote down touch instead. Well, she said something like, have fun in your moldy house. Like don't get rain damage or something. And then Kenya yelled, well, at least I'll be in a house. You'll be outside freezing your tits off because your ass can't move in. So funny. Do you remember? And then Sharae is trying to throw a drink, but Porsche is stopping her and she's like, no, no props. And he said no props. Trust me, no props. Wow. Welcome home. And then on a good note, so glad to have Sharae back into the mix. Next week, we get Kim Fields, which I mean, I don't care about Kim Fields, to be honest, it doesn't do anything for me. I'm excited more excited about having having Sharae back. She buys Sharae. Well, I'm excited about Sharae. And I'm excited to see what happens because Sharae was supposed to be a main housewife. Okay, here's some really quick gossip. So Sharae obviously was supposed to be a main housewife. That's why she came back. And then she was shafted at the end and made a non-house wife. And she didn't know this until after filming. So she was having a fit about that. And what's the other Sharae thing? Oh, she's suing somebody for stealing her show idea. Oh, one of the producers, she said, sweet talk to her, got her back on the show, promised her she was going to be a housewife. And then she told them about an idea for another show she had. And guess what the idea is? It's women real estate agents in Atlanta. And that's Kenya's new show. At least she sold it. So something shitty went on in not Denmark. Por-sharae. Por-sharae. So I think Kenya stole her show and then it happened not to have much. I mean, that's cold, Kenya. Something is rotten in the state of Buckhead. Kenya got her ass on the show, ruined her again, took her show and then got her to be not a housewife. Dang, girl. Dang. Well, you know, to be fair, like real estate agents in Atlanta, it's not that original of the night. Not original, but it's like not like a crazy idea that only one person could have thought of. And second of all, Sharae should be happy to be back on Bravo. Because you know what? Because we're all loving her right now and we all support her. And that's the end game. And that's the long game. Sure, Kenya may have gotten the show on, but Sharae has the people. Sharae has the people. Yeah, Sharae is the fisherman's wife. I mean, she'll never be happy. She could have her own show on NBC that's number one. And she'd be like, "Why aren't I doing movies?" You know. Why isn't she doing movies? That's a great question. I once ever asked ever before today. I would like to take a picture of Sharae and frame it and put it onto my wall. And you know what I'm going to do? You know how I'm going to do it, Ronnie? Do you have any idea how I'm going to frame a picture of Sharae? Because I have a good idea. Oh, well, Ben. Tell me. I think I might use Framebridge, which is this great online framebridge.com. It's this great online service that allows you to frame photos and stuff. Did you know that? Yes. Do you guys take 1,000 photos that never put a single frame around them? Now you can get those great memories off of your camera and on your wall with Framebridge.com. Yeah. So next time you take a picture of Sharae and you want to frame it, this is what you do. It's like, first of all, it's affordable. Prices start at just $39 and are up to 70% less than traditional framing stores. Go to Framebridge.com. Choose your frame from their curated collection. Upload your art and preview it before you buy. Can't upload your art? No worries. You can mail it in for free. Your framed piece arrives at your home ready to hang. There's like wood molding, UV protective acrylic and acid-free mat and foam boards. You can choose from cleaning classic to more eclectic styles or have one of Framebridge's designers make a recommendation. And if you are throwing a fashion show and you've got no fashions, something that's really great you can do is you can draw out what the fashions would be and then take them to Framebridge and print them out and have a fashion show with no fashions, but Framebridge framed photos instead. If you want to hire a party planner to write poetry for your entrance, you can have that framed as well. Get your bathroom. We love Framebridge and we know you will too, you guys. It's so easy to use and so much more affordable than traditional frame stores. Right now Framebridge.com has a special offer just for our listeners. Take 15% off your first order and free shipping when you use our code sideshow. This is a great deal, but it's only available this week. So to get started framing your art or picture it with fashions, go to Framebridge.com, find your favorite frame from their curated collection. They have a nice collection. We've seen it. Upload your art or mail it in for free. Preview your art in your custom frame. Enter our code which is side show at checkout to get 15% off and free shipping. Receive your beautiful custom framed art that is ready to hang and don't wait. This offer expires this week, so go to Framebridge.com and use the code sideshow and save. Yes and thank you, Framebridge. All right, so now we are on to the main event. The winner of the 2014 crappy for best Bravo show. Where's it? Yeah, this one we gave it beat out Game of Crowns. It was between this and Game of Crowns and it won. It actually won several categories. And if we actually had written down what those categories were, we'd be able to tell you. I have a feeling one of them was best. Basically Vanderpump Rules is the Titanic of Bravo. It just big and sweeps all the categories. Hit a glacier, it sank, but then it just keeps flowing and Kathy Bates is still working, darling. Yeah, it's almost like the Titanic almost sank all the way, but there's like a still piece of it that's bobbing around in the ocean and still giving great stories. Yes, we've been enjoying the wreckage ever since it hit that iceberg in day one of episode one. Yes, this show is so fucking good. So last week you were talking about the opening. I'd like to talk about that some more, please. What were your observations? Were you pointing out that they were spilling they were unspilling things this time? No, I was pointing out that Shina's face looks totally distorted. Oh, okay. So I noticed this time that normally they're spilling drinks in every season and this season they're like catching drinks. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. They're not spilling anymore. Like maybe they're learning and also like fireworks are coming up. I don't know why that's happening, but I love that. But that Lisa always walks into the restaurant and ticks off her head, just throws it. I'm just imagining what customers sitting there, like it's a hat chucked at their face. I was just about to eat my turn to our terror. Someone just got stabbed in the head by one of the giant lanterns that was hit by the hat. Oh, an antiquity just fell into my salad because it was knocked over by a flying hat. My husband died at your restaurant. It's like the horrible Yelp reviews from Lisa's hat. A purple neon light just shattered because a hat flew into it. Well, I had vision until I went to eat at sir and had a hat thrown into my eyes from Marcy from Dakota. I was just about to eat a goat cheese ball when all of a sudden a pink fluffy hat came right in the way and chopped it in half. And somehow I still got warts. Yeah. So Lisa is basically like what's the name of the guy from James Bond who throws the hat and like chops off people's heads with his hat who's now like just got arrested for doing something awful for murdering someone. I don't know. Short, short, short, short stack. Bond and I think of a naked Piers Brosman. I think his name is like short stack or something like that. I don't know. Short stack. I don't know. I'm gonna look it up on my phone. You can have those short stacks in here, but I would love something that's like a flat piece of dough that's round. Children might like it. Chef Penny, come over to sir. You're looking here now. Oh, his name is Oddjob, not short stack. Oddjob. That's Max. She's like, "What job? Get in here, darling." Max is so cute. He's like one of the bravo kids that you're just rooting for because he's just so normal and sweet and nice. And he's like some stoner, but I was thinking, you know, Lisa's done a really good job with this kid. He's, I mean, yeah, he's a busboy still, but he's working and he's obviously a stoner and not on meth because, you know, he gets chubby or everything he's in. And I'm like, smoke on, darling. That's a sign of good parenting, having chubby kids without missing teeth and meth face. I know, I know. He's on the way. Since he'll be up to waiter level. Soon he'll be able to work with press, darling, and we can spot a new empire. So he'll be able to join the divine addiction. Max, I'm still waiting on your blush article. Is it because he's adopted that he's lazy or is it the maid who raised him's fault? So anyway, the episode opens. Lisa walking in to meet Lala. Lala. Who is this? Lala. Lala. Lala is basically the new hot hostess who wears Angelian makeup. Totally. She's Angelian. Oh my god, this show needs to get the piano player in the middle of the restaurant. I know that a million times and also a Shirley Ralph. Oh, they do. Wait, they have a they do have a new black waitress. Oh my god. They're doing it's a living. They are doing it's a living. Lala. Lala is Angelian. Faith is Shirley Ralph and the piano player is obviously Tom. Tom? No, it's the record player. It's the it's James in the back. Oh, yes, James. Let me change the mood. I can't let anything get in the way of my DJ career in the corner of Sir. Chris, I'm going to press play on thriller and Angelian's talk song. I'm going to say five. All right. Oh, today. Isn't there. Sorry. No, I was just going to I was going to ask a very important question, which is, isn't there another waitress on that show? It's Angelian, Shirley Ralph and another lady. The lady from Wings. Chris O'Bernard was on that show? Yes, she was a waitress. I'm looking up. It's a living right now. I can't. Yes. Port Crystal Bernard has been in the service industry her entire acting career. I cannot run it. I can't remember telling you this. She was like a ticket, a ticket agent, right? On Wings. Wow. There's also someone in Barry Youngfellow, who is a lady and Marion Mercer. Chris O'Bernard was Amy Tomkins. Oh my god. Oh my god. Louise. Wait. Louise Lasser. Of course. Louise Lasser was on that. Of course. My god. Crystal Bernard will still wear those 80 clobbe 80s clobbeings and make them work. Oh, Crystal. Oh my god. Personality is 80s clobbeings. I love her. This and the show took place at the top of the bottom venture downtown LA. I mean, basically, this is it's a living for the new generation. Oh my god. We're so lucky. We are so lucky. So back to the opening. It's Lisa coming in after getting out of her probably paid for beautiful car. Yeah. Whatever it is this time. I don't know. It's always something new. Yeah. But she gets that and she's like, well, hello. Lala. And they've hired this Lala chick who's gorgeous and I think like a fetus. I mean, she's really young. She is really young. And she's like, she's like, Lala, have you done your training and Lala's like, yes, I've done three training sessions and I've got another one in the afternoon. And you know that Lisa was probably like, three training sessions. You only have to do one. You're ridiculous. The over train. You're fired. Get out of here. No one else has even done it for this job. No one here has even done one training session. I can't believe you've done three. It was just a joke. Don't hurt yourself, darling. I don't need you needing a break in the middle of the first shift. All right. I mean, you're the hostess. You know, all you have to do is touch the touch screen until something beeps and then you see someone. It's not a run around the block, darling. It's a constant walk because you can't afford a card. Do you understand? Okay. Here's the training session for today. Look at your seating section. There's squares in the circles and quick, quick, quick, quick, whatever shape you like more. And that's what people sit. You're done. Get back to work. All right. Here's all you need to know is people leave. You say, we're sorry. That's all, darling. All right. Do you understand? Well, now it's called me. I can't yet. Nice, Lala. Nice. Wait, I have to pause. I not pause the podcast, but I have to pause our conversation because, of course, I'm still looking at the It's a Living IMDB page. That show was on for nine years. Oh, yeah. It's a classic. I thought it was on for like three or four or nine years. Wow. Okay. That's it. How long wings was another one? That Crystal Bernard has been in some hit shows that never get there do, you know, because they're always on at the same time as something bigger. Yeah. Susan Sullivan was in it. She was the talent all lady. And then she was on, uh, she was on. Sorry. I'm okay. I'm sorry. I'm getting sidetracked back. It's okay. Well, hello, Lala. Well, hello, Lala. Yes. Hello. You know, that's probably not even Lala's name. Lisa just couldn't remember. She's like, Oh, la, la, la. Hello, Lala. They're like, okay, I'll just call her Lala for the season. And Gillian, is that you? So good to see you again. No, it's Lala. Get and Gillian's wig. So I am loving Lisa's triangle head. Lisa's like so rich that she can just walk around with cone head and no one ever says anything. Like she doesn't have side mirrors, has no one told her she has a cone. She has that lady putting her hair up in the wig. Oh, yeah. And the back of her head is the bun. And she can't see it because she's putting it in the back. So you can't see it, but we can see it from the back and you have a cone head or a rectangle head depending on the day. Tamara Barney. That's what it is. Rectangle. So now we go to Sheena and we, Sheena's mad. She's mad at Katie and the new girl. Oh, I'm sorry. Katie. Oh, yeah. You're right. That's right next. Well, this is really quick. It's just faith and new server, but this begins a new pattern that I love. And that is Katie training everybody at all times. Like somebody was like, Katie, train the new girl. And she's like, okay, I'm going to train everybody on everything. And that was her the whole episode. But it starts with faith. And it's this, it's this Lisa. Oh, yeah, Lisa's like, wait, what happened here? I think I remember during this night, I like got to try to buy some table numbers, darling. Yeah. And it's like, what? The table numbers, you know, where you take the table, it's like a label for a table, darling. It even rhymes. And she's like, oh, that's a good one. You're an idiot. You'll fit right in here, darling. All right. Letting know where to hang up her apron at the end of the day, darling. Great. Yeah. Basically, that's what it was. Katie's like, I know that this job sounds easy, but it's actually quite technical. Really Katie. It's quite technical. I wait or training montage. Okay. This is where you go pee. Okay. Wipe off the computer screen after you use it if you've like your fingers. She says, so when I say it's quite technical, it means that, so when you come over here to yell at someone, quite technically you're working. Okay. And over there, when you get mad at someone and cry at your boyfriend, quite technically you're working there too. It's really quite technical. It's quite technical. And she says that Lisa's intimidating as Beyonce. I'm like, oh, lord. Jesus. That's like, she's like, and I'm referencing Beyonce because you're black. We don't seem this is a scene with faith. This is new for us. Baby steps. Baby steps are quite technical. I have to give some credit to the show though, because they are at least making an effort here. I mean, there's faith. And then there's a gauge in. Yeah. It's like, look at you, guys. You're getting a gay and an Asian rolled into one. They're like, look, we can't freak out the entire audience. All right. Make one a double, double something handicapped Asian. I don't care. I don't care. Just make it work. Make him have funny hair too. They love that. And Bishop always says something really cliche. He's like, hey girl, hey. She just like, oh my god. I'm so mad because James got so shit faced. And my birthday wasn't. I can't believe at a party at a bar, someone will get drunk. But this is, by the way, during the sugar filling portion of the show, we're like, okay, separate yellows from the blues from the whites. Remember when this used to be like two colors to separate? I like my tuck of the call. I never knew this. This job had so much math. I wrote Gayson. It's Maybelline. I don't know why. Okay. So Sheena's mad. Ariana didn't want James there. She's like, well, no one want to crush them. Well, Ariana's the one he didn't want. Yeah, they're setting up the let's all hate on Ariana thing. Yes, which Ariana is doing a pretty good job of furthering on her own. Yeah, just need to be quiet. Yeah, just be quiet and serve the drinks. So Sheena is mad because she just got an angry phone call from Kristen. And she's like, well, so basically she called an Uber for James and Jenna because they're about drunk and they both have a lot of the mirror each other. So I thought, well, let's take an Uber together. It'll be really easy. But then James, second Uber have from Jenna's house at six a.m. I was handed an Uber. There was some Uber situation where a secondary Uber to Jenna's house happened at six a.m. And she was like, the Uber never arrived at her house in the first place. They went to James and then another Uber took her home. Yeah, at six a.m. And then she was like, well, that's what I call the smoking gun. You know, that she's probably like, patting herself in the bag like, well, I'm not clever if she I came up with smoking gun or whatever. She if my music career doesn't work out, I'm gonna start a website with Mimi's. That's what Mariah carried it. That's why it's called the emancipation of Mimi, because she does so many good in Mimi's. Same emancipation of Shina. Whenever I heard Mimi for the first time, I was like, oh my god, that's all I call myself. Mimi. Hear Mimi. Hear Mimi. Hear Mimi. I'm Mimi. Smokin gun. Mimi. So then, um, so then Diana, there's one other meeting. Imagine me that Lisa's got to talk to Diana about nothing in particular. Yeah, let's say that the wood table. Hello, Diana, darling. Here I am in the restaurant, because I cameras here. What get what say you? And Diana's like, well, here's the calendar for the following month. And then PR run in Stan. He's like, darling, darling, headache, darling. That's why I pay you just silence. I have to be quiet over there. All right. Don't just like major emergency. Uh, Lisa, there has been a shortage of gotcheers, no gotcheers bars for the next week. Oh, Diana, please. This is ridiculous. Just go to Whole Foods, or I just get a just get a big ball of goat cheese. All right. Just have someone go over to Pandy's apartment, cut her open and get the goat pulls back out, darling. I told her to stop taking them home. Pandy, Pandy go get some goat cheese from Gersons. So rude. Pandy's like the nicest person ever. I don't know why I mean to her. Um, so, Lala. Yeah, Lala steps in. Lala has her first ish. Yeah. She's like, guys, like, I really respect you, but um, I'm a super model. And um, I have to go to Italy to be an modeling thing. And you can see Diana's face. She's like, Oh, god, not not not another stupid bitchy has this that I have to deal with. So Lala, so Lala's like, you know, I've been acting and modeling for a while. And you know, I take this job as seriously as the job is. I mean, it's not brain surgery. It's just working at sir. I'm like this, everyone who does not live in L.A. This is what services like in Los Angeles people who think they have something better to do at all times. Pretty much. And it's so funny that Lisa and Diana are so calm because they're like managers of Walmart. They hire greeters who are, you know, in need of jobs. You know, they're, I don't want to say, I don't want to say a bad word, but you know what I mean? The Walmart greeter. I don't want to say retarded. What do you say instead of that now? Mentally handicapped. That's what I mean. Oh my god. What a dick. But anyway, they hire mentally handicapped people on purpose. So if they can't like be mad when they say high too loud or hug too hard, you know what I mean? Like that's what they were hard. It's almost like they're expecting it from Lala. You know, it's like, darling, as long as you know how to turn smiles upside down, you're fine. Do you understand rolling back? Fine. You can have the weekend off. Yeah. You know where the carts go, don't you, darling? So Lala has to get a week off to be a supermodel. Italy. But more is like, why aren't I just going off to Venice? That's right. I am. All right. I'm going off to Venice. Possibly see you there, Lala, darling. Oh, yes. So then. Where is my break? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Kate. That's right. So then Katie is like, I'm training this new girl. Her name is fast. She's really sweet. And she's so black. It's so crazy. A black person here at sir. Oh my god. Katie and Sheena. Okay. Here they are. Adam, a smoke break. Talking about this gossip with the Uber or whatever, blah, blah, blah. And then she goes, the problem with Kristin. I'm like, Oh god, let's not get into the problem with Kristin. All right. We don't have all day long. And Sheena. I was just trying to help. All right. Don't get a twist. Like they were drunk. They were young. They were fingering each other. Like literally she had her finger up his butt. Like they should go home together. Like why should two Uber smell like, but I was doing Uber a favor. Yeah. And then Kristin sends her text. And Kristin, Kristin, she's like, Kristin sends Sheena text regarding Jenna. And Kristin sex says, she's a fucking bitch. And you were rude to me. She's like, Oh my god. I'm like you. This is why, you know, it's funny because she knows always like, well, Kristin has never done anything to me or if that's to make me have to nap in friends with her. I'm like, Bill, she sends you these emails and texts all the time. So maybe you dumb bitch five times today, girl. Yeah. And she also, when you first got to the restaurant, she was nothing but a raging bitch to you with sassy. Oh, yeah, totally. Oh, well, she's getting her revenge today, but we'll get to that. Yes, we will. So then we get Jackson, the new slut and girl. Yeah, my name is Brittany with blinding newly bleached group on bleaching teeth. Yeah. Jackson's face. I don't know what's happened. I just felt bad for that, Brittany, because here she is. It's like typical LA with some old guy with a fucked up face trying to pretend he's got shit he doesn't have. And then here you are with your teeth still sore from their group on bleaching. And you don't even have a base spray tank done. I mean, yeah, just look orange. And then on top of everything else, it's not that Jackson just here to show her off. She he's trying to set up a job interview. And my first thought, which is funny because then they set it on the show, I was like, she's not wearing pants. She was wearing a shirt and no pants. No, she was wearing lingerie, wasn't she? Well, she was wearing, she was wearing like a 90, like a lingerie. It was like a little 90, but it still, it ended at her vagina. Like, there were no pants. Like, this is a job interview still. Like, what are you doing? I mean, I know that that's kind of part of why you get hired at serve, but still. Yeah. I mean, look, using your flesh for money and everything else like that, of course, it's like she does know exactly the job she's going for, but you're not supposed to pretend that you know you're going for a job at the whorehouse. All right, honey? Exactly. A little more subtle, darling. You're pretending to be a waiter here, darling. Yeah. And that's why I was like amused when a few minutes later, at least it was like, well, next time bring some slacks, bring your trousers. Yeah, next time put some trousers on, darling. Well, Brittany is, Brittany is an idiot because she comes in for this job interview and and Lisa is like, darling, do you have your resume? And she's like, no, I wasn't prepared for this. I'm sorry. I wasn't prepared for these. First thing, a manager and restaurant owner wants to hear. Yeah, not prepared. Best thing, you know, that's what they say on LinkedIn. They say, the first thing you should say in your job interview, I wasn't prepared for this. Works like what's LinkedIn? Is that a sausage restaurant? Set like tender. Do you have any experience, darling? Well, I don't have experience typing things down, but one time I've worked at a couple restaurants across from the baseball park, and they're real busy. They have a high volume restaurant. I mean, they play that music real loud. The end of the day, she's good at weenas and bowls, darling. All right, she's higher heard. She's perfect for this play. You don't know how to do anything, darling. You sound totally incompetent. Perfect. You're hired. Oh, good. You don't anticipate things. Great. You're hired. If it doesn't work out with you, darling, well, we can always turn you into a good cheese ball. I can tuck you, darling. Lisa says hi to her in the way. Lisa has this way when she's meeting stupid people that I just love. She goes, hi, like confused, but also really sorry for you. She's like, darling, I'm so sorry that this has happened to you. Meanwhile, Jack's is in the next room, like behind the bar and la la comes up to him, and he's just hitting on la la blatantly. He's like, yeah, I'm going to have a thing at this early goat. Like, you know, like, come on by. Like, you need to be great and bring with, you know, any hot girls, bring them by too. So basically, he's like, Britney's in the other room. He's sitting on la la, and he's already asking la la to bring other hot girls for him to hit on in front of both of those girls. Yeah, totally going to work out. Yeah, totally, totally going to work out. I think that's going good places for Jack's. Let me see here. I just wrote Jack's, Jack's actually said, yeah, you know, like, she's younger or whatever, but like, it's like a girl who doesn't like, she doesn't know what HPV stands for, you know, like, I fucked a lot of bimbos, okay, but this is the first one he's fucked me with this nose. So it's like special. Yeah. So big, this guy. Yeah, he is really, he's awful, awful. Then there's like a stupid scene that's like not even worth talking about unless you found something funny in it with Tom and Katie, like, like, oh, like, he's like, I'm starting to want commitment. And there's Gordo and like, I don't know what's more important. I wrote this scene. It was just stupid. It was gross. And also don't marry that man. How many times do we have to tell you, Katie, when you come home and your man is like, Gordo, Gordo, come here, baby. Are you my baby? You want to give me heart, five? No. Okay, you just want to look cute? Okay. Hi, honey, it's Gordo. Look at him looking cute. No. Yeah. No. That man loves you more than he loves the dog. Clear the man. Yeah. So then Katie, of course, is an idiot. And she's like, oh, man, that Tom could even like get a puppy and make a huge decision like that. Like, it shows growing up. I'm like, really, uh, getting a girlfriend off your ass about not proposing by making an impulse by for something that she never agreed to, but would be like an actual decision that you're making for her lifestyle is a mature decision. You fucking moron. You deserve what you get, Katie deserves every single bit of it. So then, um, so now James and Kristin meet, um, at a empty restaurant. And uh, so I've never seen anybody turn off their car alarm with such anger. Kristin was like, I was like, so mad. I don't think that she even turned it off. I think she just aimed it and the car was like, Oh, shit, I'll just, I'll just turn it on myself. Everything arms itself. It wasn't even her car. Yeah, everything passes. It's like, you know how like when a loud car goes by a bunch of cars and all the fire, all the other car alarms go off, it's like the reverse with her. She walks by like, my iPhone is erasing itself. Does anybody else understand this? It's like, uh, it's like those horror movies where like someone evil walk into town and all the shutters close, everyone close, all the lights go off and everyone draws their blinds. So the cars are doing to themselves. All the Transformers are turning back into vehicles all the apples are dropping off trees. So good. So yeah, they go to meet to have their like, I'm rather mad at me. And she's like, she, um, so your behavior last night was like really embarrassing. Do you want to say anything about it? It was like, Kristen, Kristin meets Leslie Stahl. Do you care to respond? I'm going to have a heart attack on this show. It was hilarious. The best is him staring at her. She's giving her most ferocious fiery Kristin. You're going to die. Look, she's giving the look of you brought me to Korean barbecue and I'm a vegetarian. Who leaves potato salad on the table like bread? Oh, Koreans. And she's like, uh, she says to us, she's in the interview, she goes, people like to call me a paranoid crazy because I check my boyfriend's email, but I find something every single time. I'm like, how about you stop dating assholes? How about that? Yeah, or stopping crazy. Stop making men want to run somewhere. Yeah. Like each man, each woman that this man has been with these men have been with have been like logs floating down. The Frogger has to jump on or die in the river. Okay. They're doing what they have to to survive, Donnie. She's sending a traffic jam of craziness and they're just trying to get out across the road. So Kristin is giving him this piss lick and he's looking like, oh, like a little baby. He's like, he's like, he'll be. I'm just a DJ trying to forget to his big break, sir. What Kristin, if I didn't notice, I would think you were upset, Kristin, Kristin, Kristin, if I didn't notice, if I didn't know any better, I'd think that you were upset my baby, Dolly. Oh, my, my little flower, my little poppy flower. You look so upset. What is wrong with you, Kristin? Do you have anything to say? And he's like, just looking at her, like with his mouth up and anything goes, one, please. Yeah. All of a wine, please. So she brings up the uber drama. So are you saying that like this receipt from Amar in a black Lexus uber X? Wasn't you? Because he gave you a review and he said, it smelled like two people smelling like bug. So one star. Are you denying that that's you? He's like, he starts to laugh and he's like, I guess I'm cool. I'm like, okay, dude, really wait a, wait a like fake you're seeing there. Okay, like obviously they already had their fight and they have to like reenact it and he like can't give his face straight. So go, Kristin. Kristin, look me. Why are you laughing? It's serious. I guess it's because when you get mad, you look like a cartoon pickle. And then he goes, as every girl wants to hear after she's just gotten admission from her boyfriend, who cheated on her, what if you have a cheated on me? I mean, that's a ton. Be honest, now you can be honest. What did she do? Now, now he's yelling at her for cheating. She didn't even do anything. This was so good. And she's like, whatever. I'm so mad. I'm not even finishing this wine. And then she drinks like half the wine. She chugs. She chugs half the wine. And by the way, it was like a, it was a big pour. So her chugging half of it is like having a full glass of wine. And immediately goes to her car and gets in and turns it on and drives away. I'm like, oh, great, great DUI there, Kristin. Apple bottle of wine and gets in the car on TV. Love it. And then she's like, whoops, I fell out of a new bird broke my face because it was his fault. Yeah, by the way, that's something that actually happened. We didn't even talk about that. We must have forgotten, but Kristin wasn't there for the Vanderpump rule season premiere last week. She wasn't at the viewing party because she had fallen out of an Uber and broken her face and needed a reconstructive surgery. It's like, I've heard so many Uber stories and that's the first one that I've heard of somebody just falling out of the Uber. Yeah. It's like, they really need better regulation because I imagine it being a moving car. Yeah. She's like, I just fell out seriously. Yeah. Seriously. That's my stop. Seriously, ma'am, we're on the highway. Seriously. Bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum. I fell out, stupid. So then the gang gets together at the surly go where we learn something really weird, which is that Jax has a foot fetish and not only that he has a stinky foot fetish and he makes Brittany put on Converse and walk around the block to get her feet sweaty so he can sniff them. Gross. Ariana is- Oh, is this the three guys at the bar? Oh, yeah. Three shots of fireball. Jax, I just want to know, like, what's up with this girl? You know? And he's like, well, you know, it's like, I just want to like, I want to know, like, you know, like, she's this girl. And he's like, okay, man, I just had to ask. Like, good talk, bro. And then Jax, they cut to Jax having the relationship talk with this girl. Wait, wait, wait, wait. And I'm sorry to interrupt you before, right before the cutaway, he's like, you know, like, it's not like we're moving in or anything together. And then what you're saying. And then cut. And he's going, hey, like, I just wanted to know, like, what are we doing? Like, are you gonna live with me? Are you gonna live with friends? Are you gonna live on the street? Are you gonna, like, fuck me here? And on the street or just on the street or like, come over or do you eat things? Do you poop? I guess that's that. Where do you want to poop? Like, you want to sleep here in the poop, down the hall? Or where do you think you'll be on most nights? I just need to know for when I bang other chicks? Yeah. So basically, he tells this girl to move here and live with him. And she does. And he tells his friends that no, we're not moving in. Yeah. Yeah. But he didn't even tell her. He's like, what are we going to do? And she's like, I don't know. Thanks for the boobs and the new skin. Meanwhile, over at the bandcat, we can see Katie already just hates Lala. Katie is hates new people every single season. She just hates them. So sure enough, you know, who else Ariana now that we've seen Ariana in that dark wig? You know, she got this like angry personality in that dark wig. And she looked kind of conniving and really bitchy and mean in that wig. And now that's how I see her face. Like, I always see the wig on now. And that girl is hating on new people. No, but Ariana wasn't, Ariana wasn't being, she was not being like Katie, because Katie was doing that passive aggressive thing. Aioli. Well, you know, it's hard not to react negatively towards Angelian makeup. But Katie is doing that whole like, pass aggressive power trip thing, where she's lecturing Lala, even though it's not her place. So, because Lala's like, well, I'm going to Italy, because I booked a book to gig. And Katie's like, Oh, well, you know, it's funny, because you're not going to be always doing that, right? Because you know, it's just that like, you know, like part of the job is that you have to be there. You know, it's like really important. And Lala's like, yeah, I know. But like, I cleared it with Lisa. Yeah, I know. But like, you know, it's just like, it's a hard job. So like, if you're not here all the time, like, I don't know if I'm going to be able to do the job. But like, I'm just asking everybody, she's like, so, you know, it's so funny, because you're going to a job, you said modeling in Italy. I mean, that's funny, because like, I know models, and they're like, what, Italy? Because it's funny, because Italy is this place that has like tons of models, like, crawling, like, there's just like models, like, everywhere, like water fountains of models. So, like, I don't know, flying to Italy. I don't know. And she's like, uh-huh. Yeah. So I'm a model, and I'm going to Italy. And she's like, well, look, I'm just speaking as a model who's never been flown to Italy. The models are not flown to Italy. She's like, well, as far as I know, the 99 cent store shoots locally. So I don't understand what you're doing. Tell me about a model after you spent 12 hours trying to pretend you love a man on a lazy board recliner. Yeah. Okay. In a strip mall. You know, I just speak from experience, but the army navy store does not shoot in Italy. So I don't know. I mean, are there gigs beyond that? Because I'm not familiar with them. She can never work anywhere. She'd be like working at Ks jewelers. Like, in my experience, you don't buy a woman an engagement ring. You make something out of a twisty trash tie, and you use that. She'd lose every sale she got. So, um, Maryana and Katie look like old bitter ladies now, because they're being mean to these young girls. And to me, they look like the old bitter hags in the corner like, Oh, look at that girl. Thank you. So cute. Yeah. So then speaking of old bitter hags, now we cut to Kristin alone in her apartment pouring herself some wine and in walks, James. Yeah. Seriously. Just relaxing in my comfort. Seriously. And so they start talking about everything. And Kristin's, Kristin's like, you get just so you get so angry when you drink. And he's like, Kristin, I'll get angry at you. That's nice. What would I do? And then instead of saying you stupid bitch, like you would when he's drunk, he just like tries to laugh it off and smile and nods and looks away. That's why because he's filtering himself every time he's not drunk. Dumb, dumb. Yeah. I asked do people get drunk. So then he decides to come clean, but not he's like, I know 100% I made out with her. And I might have tried on dressing her and she's like, you took off her top because no, she let me take off her top. Oh, I thought he said she didn't let me. And so that's why I thought he said, no, she let me out. That's why it's like so funny to me because I was like, Oh, he's making this totally TV detective in it. She's like, so tell me. So you were, what were you thinking when you were making out with her and having sex? No, we weren't having sex, Kristin. All right. Then what were you thinking when your finger was inside her? No, Kristin. All right. Then what were you? What was in your childhood? And he's like, all right, we made out. Oh, really? So you made out and then fuck. No, Kristin boobs. Damn it, Kristin. Pretty good. Except she failed in the end. And that's why she'll never be on lawn order, special Christmas unit because James is like, actually, we were boning. Oh, yeah. He's like, I didn't want to tell Kristin this because it would hurt feelings. But the truth is we were boning. We were both. You're not going to put this in the show, though, right? She'll never know. So then Kristin, Kristin's like, well, James decided to have the balls to tell me the truth, which means he wants to work on this. So I'm going to take him back. Like what? Yeah, like, it shows me that he's committed because he's like, finally told me the truth. And of course, he has not, but it's hilarious that that she is taking him back. But of course, she's going to take him back because if she if she doesn't take him back, she'll have no one to hold something over him over anyone. So she'll have no connection to the show. Yeah, she has to stay on the screen somehow. And it's not going to be by marrying kachips. She would rather be in a relationship where she can hold something like this over her boyfriend versus not being a relationship at all. Yep, because of course, like every person like that, even friends, you know, we've talked about that type before here on this show, but that type who immediately their defenses. I did everything for you. It's like, there's your motive right there for the whole relationship. I did everything. I do everything. You owe me. I own you. You'd be nothing without me. You just be a record player without a record. Yeah, stupid, stupid, stupid, speaking of stupid, Tom and Ariana, Tom's like, remember last week, babe, when you had that brown wig, and we decided that we were going to adult. So they're trying their own thing. They're like, now we're adulting. Yeah, it's called adulting, because adults sit on couches and adulting. Like, okay, it's adulting something. We've already got uber mystery, whatever that one is. By the way, there's a big note that there's still a difference between adulting and growing up. It's just like ironic, like you were talking about norm core last week. Yeah, well, I like that. So they go to this furniture shop called the Joneses, which, you know, I'm assuming the reason why it's called the Joneses is that the inherent joke is like, you're keeping up with the Joneses. So Tom walks in, he's like, keeping up with the Joneses, right? Is this what you do to keep up with the Joneses? And, you know, like this poor guy is like, yes, yes, I hear that every single day. That's why it's called the Joneses, you idiot. You don't have to make a joke on the joke. Hey, dude, we want to sit on a couch and talk about paying our taxes. Yeah, we do that. Maybe I can rub her belly and like we can name our future babies. So I saw it on a couch and talked about how they were done with this high school shit. And now their new phase is going to be adults. And then Ariana is like, yeah, babe. So, you know, she is a bitch. Yeah, they start high schooling on the couch while they're consulting. Do I love that Ariana is like, do you think she is bored, which is why she's inviting this Kristen bullshit back into her life? I'm like, well, it's that or you guys are on a reality show and their producers involved. And that's why it's there. And also you have a boyfriend now, so you're probably around less to just be like, girlfriends. Yeah, I mean, somebody like at the end of the day, when you're hanging out with the crazy girl, it's because you need somebody to hang out with. Yeah. All right. And then it turns out to be true. I mean, that's like foreshadowing that we know from the previews, obviously. So there's nothing psychic on my end, darling. Darling. So they just sit on the couch and the adult. And then we go back to the restaurant. And that scene in me is this. So Shina and Katie are now, you know, they're talking about Lala because they hate Lala. And Katie is like, you know, they're talking about this whole thing about like, how everything seems fishy. And they don't like this taking a week off. And Katie's like, you know, I try hard to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I'm like, no, you don't use super bitch. You don't. You actually hate the benefit of the doubt. You love the doubt. I mean, how many seasons have we watched this show? Do we not like, I mean, are we supposed to forget how you treated Shina her first season? She just doesn't know how to talk. She's like, every time someone new comes in, I try to benefit, I try to doubt their benefit immediately. It's actually quite technical doing that. Remember last season, she had a phrase that she said that was like, she was trying to be all, you know, high minded. I wish I could remember it listeners post on her Facebook, whatever was that phrase I Katie said, where she was trying to send all into like all smart. Oh, Katie. And she's like, Hey, Shina, I just want you to know you should be like open and new people because faith is a badass. I'm like, okay, manager Katie, who no one made manager. So they're making fun of La La and Katie whips out the cell phone. She's like, look at her Insta profile pic. It's just her ass. It's this a quote unquote autistic shot of, you know, her just butt for ass, basically. But it's not like, yeah, it's not like a slutty ass. I mean, it's a stupid profile picture, but she's the last, but she's just standing there with her hands behind. It's like, it's not like winking at the camera or anything. Yeah, it's not like, it's just an ass. You know, it's certainly a lot classer than I'm than a lot of photos that Shina and Katie have been in. I'm sure. And Sina goes, I'm sorry, my like, that profile packs a scream. Fuck me in the ass. Like, way to read the read it read it boldly, Sina. Yeah, way to project. And then and then Shina then goes to the next level, she's like, well, I heard that Lala hangs out with a prostitute crowd. She basically says, this is Shina, who was sleeping with Eddie Sabrian. Okay, and now she's like, well, I hear that Lala, she gets paid to go hang out with rich old guys and give them low jobs. I'm like, whoa, yes. And she's blown around by all these rich guys. And she's like, I've heard she's open, like, now here's little boring goals. I have to say that this is weird for me because Katie. Okay. Katie is not a hoe. Okay, she's a Katie. She's like, uh, she's a Katie. Like, we don't need to go to it. She's not a hoe. She's not is an old school Bible era hoe. Yeah, she knows it. She's not ashamed of it. She's admitted to pretty much current. Like she married a fat guy to just like have a break from being a hoe, you know? Yeah. So that's one hoe talking hoe business, which I'm fine with. I think it's hilarious because of course Shina knows people that she knows. And of course, she probably knows the exact charters this bitches been on and the men she's been with. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was probably how she met Eddie, you know, on one of those. So, like, she knows it's like one hoe to another. So she's saying it in like kind of a fun way, even though she is judging, but she's like, that bitch isn't going to Italy. She's a whore. Well, that's Shina. But then Katie, of course, is like, she's a hoe. Yeah, take her dad. And I don't know, they go talk to Lala. And it is hilarious. Well, when they go, it's sort of a rundown. And while when they walk in, as they go over to talk to Lala, she they're like, we're not going to be mean. We're just going to be inquisitive. We're not going to be mean. And they walk up to her with her arms crossed and just stare at her. Like, yep, real, real nice there. This is yup. So I wrote Katie and Shina approach. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. So Katie starts growing her about the modeling job. So you're going to be a model in a job. What kind of job is it a magazine? Is it a bus, a bus bench, a gum wrapper? What is it? Because I know people in Italy. And Lala is like, are you saying, are you saying I could never be a supermodel Katie? And Katie's like, um, well, your ass picture on Insta's beautiful, but no. And Lala goes, well, congratulations, you've caught me in my lie. So I thought that was sarcastic at first. I was like, huh, that was a good comeback, Lala. Yes. These girls are so mean, they really broke the pitch. They actually was. They actually did. She was like, yeah, no, I actually did lie. I was like, wait, wait, what? I was like, Lala, you had the upper hand here. Like you didn't have to like, they were being crazy. You just had to just stick with your lie. Yup. Well, she's probably shocked. She thought I was going to be the bitch of the season, but these girls are mean. Like, they go in. They have nothing. They do not hold back. I was shocked. And also, by the way, Katie, as far as this show is concerned, you have earned your manager status. But I also right now, you got a bitch to admit that she was a hoe in basically in Italy. Well, what's wrong? Congratulations, manager Katie. It's, but I will say this, it's felt a little odd. You know, when she was like, well, congratulations, you found me in my lie. That felt honestly a little, it didn't seem like the sort of thing someone with a lie would say. It felt actually a little staged. You know, like, did you get that vibe? I mean, I don't care if it's staged or not. I got the vibe that they're, they're about to call me a horror national TV, because look, once you a hoe, you have a hoe lens in your eye that you can see other hoes. So she sees, she's standing right in front of her. Yeah. You know, so I think she was thinking, oh, shit, this bitch has hoe glasses, and she's about to call me a hoe on TV. So I'm just going to say, no, I'm not a hoe. I'm just going with some friends and they paid. But then she doesn't let it go. And she's like, what do you pay with your vagina? And she's like, no, people like my personality. So I can keep my legs closed. And she goes, well, how about your mouth? And she's like, listen, honey, like, from one hoe to another. I know what you're doing. It's fine what you're doing. Blow your way through Italy. But don't be fucking with the work schedule, because that, you know, you're messing up my time at the grove. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it was funny. Lala's just like, okay, well, just don't tell anyone. Like, well, that probably won't work out for you too well. Yeah. Well, my first thought was Sheena just did the exact same thing Stasi did to her where Stasi totally slut shamed her. You know, Sheena's doing the same thing. But then at the end, I realized Sheena wasn't shaming her at all. She was like, girl, if you're going to have two jobs, you better make sure that you don't dump one for the other, because that's not cool. Like have it on the schedule, if you're going to blow people in Italy or whatever. Well, what was also funny, though, Annager, she should run a brothel. What was also funny, though, is that Sheena and Katie were ready for a fight. They were ready for it to get crazy. And then Lala's like, okay, yeah, you're right. And they're like, uh, oh, okay. Well, you're giving blow jobs. Bye. Bye. They just sort of like walked away, like, oh, okay. Well, I liked it. I don't know why I was still on Sheena's side in this one. I just put Hoe's got to stick together. But I really like Sheena in this, but Katie didn't get what she wanted. But I think Sheena did. And Katie just always leaves kind of like, because Katie leaves like, I've prepared to hate you. And Sheena always leaves like, I'm prepared to be your best friend in a month. She'll be friends with everybody. She will be. It was funny. I mean, Ariana did say that like the basically as long as you haven't annoyed her in two months, she'll be friends with you. Yeah, she forgets very, very quickly. So then we get to see one of the, oh wait, am I skipping ahead? I'm sorry. I think there's only one scene left. Sheena's apartment. Is that the last scene? Because this was amazing. We got no, no, no, no, right before that. She didn't Ariana. We're talking. And again, she does this thing about, um, oh wait, Chris is taxing me that I'm a fucking bitch. Ah, Chris is such a jerk. And Ariana is like, yeah. And so Ariana starts giving her a shit, but Ariana to, to Ariana, I think this is a big confrontation because she's doing that hair, that hand combing thing with her hair. Like where you're nervously kind of pulling your hair over and over. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, they always do it in crazy houses in the movies. Like whenever someone's in the crazy house, they're doing that. They're doing that same thing. We're like, Oh, well, Preston hasn't done everything to me. Really? Nothing seriously bad. It's like, are you, are you like just really that deranged? Sheena, do you not see what's going on? Like, do you not like remember things that happened in your life? Jesus. And Ariana, you know, tells her, and I think the nicest way, like this girl's a crazy bitch and list the things she's, she's done, whatever. And then sheena needs what we can say. I was just, oh, no, I was just gonna basically say that she was like, but the thing is that Sheena says, she's like, well, I've been friends with the Kristen longer, but I'm closer with Ariana. I thought it was that Kristen was friends, but when, when, when Ariana came around, she's like, Ariana's one of my best friends. I thought she was friends with Ariana long before Kristen ever showed up. Wasn't that the whole story? I guess not. Yes, but I guess that was just a lie. Probably knows. I don't know. I never understand the timelines on these shows. I guess they were just pretending to be friends. What a shocker. Yeah. So then we get to go to Sheena's. Oh my God. This is amazing. Ben, I don't even know how to describe it. It was, you know, it's like going into like a mansion with like all like some old divas mansion where there's nothing but giant portraits of her face except it's not a mansion. It's a one bedroom apartment. And it's nothing but giant photo to canvas pictures of her and she on their wedding day. It is so ridiculous. Really old furniture from the 70s and these humongous, not like nice leather couches, but those big padded 80s leather couches. It is kind of brown paint, brown walls. It was just like such a disaster. It was like the set of Roseanne with Sheena pictures everywhere from Olin Mills blowing up over like huge pictures. Like it was ridiculous. And the pictures themselves are dumb. And then the fact that they're blown up is even is even dumber. And the fact that there's more than one that there's like five up on the walls is out of control. That room looked like it smelled but that's all. It's just all happening. It's all happening on my walls. The writing's on the wall. Oh no, it's just being shy. It's like we're going to be jealous of pictures. It's a white trash heaven. So Katie cares, Kristin comes over, blah blah blah. She's like, Kristin, Jesus, blah blah. You've been calling me a dumb bitch all day. And she's like, I just said you were rude. She's like, well, you said you're a dumb. And then you said rude. And then basically you're calling me a dumb rude bitch. How could you do this when it's been still the same six months as my wedding? I can't believe it. We're not even out of the window yet. It could be my birthday soon. You don't understand how important Arbor Day is to me. I can't believe you do that today to me. And she's like, I don't even know if that can be your friend, because I can be ever concerned that it's you, Kristin. It's not everybody else. And then she lists it. She's like, my first birthday party, you ruined it because you fucked somebody. You fucked Jack's and you ruined them at this engagement party. The fuck James and you ruined my birthday party. I thought, my wedding, you beat up James. And then there was that time I went to DMV and then you texted me and you ruined the DMV for me. You punched the car I was trying to drive. But then Kristin comes back with her own weird logic, which is like, it's not my fault. You know, these guys are doing these, it's their fault. They're the ones who are cheating on me. They're the ones who are bringing girls in. It's not me. Kristin actually did have a good point when she's like, you're my friend and you're the one who's friends with all the people who cheated on me. Yeah, that's true too. It's just kind of hilarious. It's like the whole group. Yes, everybody kind of has done something to Kristin, but I don't know. It's like when you have a motive. It's like they're both kind of right because technically if you're friends with Kristin, then you shouldn't be friends with all the guys who've cheated on her. But for Kristin, if your friend's with Sheena, she shouldn't be punching people at every formal occasion. Yeah, girls, you're both idiots. Yeah, you're both idiots who should not be friends. How about that? So then it comes down to your name, my birthday party, and then you were my birthday. Or whatever her thing was. What was this one? It was her 30th birthday again. Yeah, so many. And she's like, I can't rub my head around her. This is my fault, seriously, seriously. But she was right when she said she's trying to bring this all around to me because she doesn't just want to say it's about Tom and Ariana not wanting her to be friends with me, which is true. But you know, Tom and Ariana and everyone kind of. That's not, oh, yeah, but it's still faulty logic because it's the Tom and Ariana thing only doesn't really apply to any of that, actually. Because if if the issue is that Kristin always makes a scene at every party, it's not because Tom and Ariana don't want Sheena to be not friends with it. It's because Kristin is always a disaster. Yeah, exactly. It's not like they're just saying we don't like her, so keep her out. It's she's actually doing shit every time she says. They're just saying, why do you keep inviting her because she's a disaster? Yeah. And you shouldn't because she's mean to us and we're your friends. The point is that Sheena is actually a bad friend. She is like, she's a bad friend to Tom and Ariana because she constantly forces them into situations with a crazy girl who has done crazy things with them. And she's a bad friend to Kristin because she's constantly forcing Kristin to come face to face with the people who push her buttons the most. And Kristin's clearly like a borderline personality case and can't deal with any of this. And at the end of the day, none of those people give a fuck about Sheena anyway. Ariana is off with Tom doing whatever and Kristin's off with, you know, whoever she's terrorizing at the moment. You think Glenn close is going to take a break from boiling a bunny to like ask how your day was. Like, Sheena is still at the end of the day left alone on a big soggy leather couch from the 80s with giant pictures of herself in a time that was better. And it was only like two months ago. God bless her. Enjoy your bagel bite styling. She's like, I'm kind of snagging and some bagel bites. That's all I need. Poor Sheena. Um, wow. So that was this. That was it. So next week looks like, uh, and she has this shiny. So we guess we'll find out what those issues are. He probably can't deal with all the crazy photographs of him on the walls. Same from sleeping in an eye hot for four days. I admit it. I mean, at first, I thought it was cool because, you know, I can say, oh, my husband is going into a different country, but then I found out that international house of pancakes is just still here. I thought you were in Paris. I thought you were a jet setter. Isn't that what international means? Say his butt hurts because he's sat on a jet. We're trying to close on an international house of pancakes. We've made a good offer. We're really worldly because we're going down there. It's international. You can't move in here. It's a new recipe. Clear. Get out. Fun type being super fun. So, um, thanks everyone for listening. Thanks for supporting us on Patreon. Thanks for coming to us at facebook.com forward slash watch more crap ins. And thank you for being friends and being good friends, not like Kristin and Sheena. Yeah, guys, you really, really are. It's all happening. It's all happening on Thursday's episode. We'll be coming to you with Ladies of London, season finale and more below deck should be fun and maybe some app risky depends. All right. Bye, everyone. Bye. If you like Watch what Crap is, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com/survey. Hello, ladies and gerbs, boys and girls. The Grinch is back again to ruin your Christmas season with 'Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast. After last year, he's learned a thing or two about hosting and he's ready to rant against Christmas cheer and roast his celebrity guests like chestnuts on an open fire. You can listen with the whole family as guest stars like John Hamm, Britney Broski and Danny DeVito try to persuade the mean old Grinch that there's a lot to love about the insufferable holiday season. But that's not all. Somebody stole all the children of WhoVille's letters to Santa and everybody thinks the Grinch is responsible. It's a real WhoVille who'd done it. Can Cindy Liu and Max help clear the Grinch's name? Grab your hot cocoa and cozy slippers to find out. Follow 'Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Unlock weekly Christmas mystery bonus content and listen to every episode ad-free by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app, Spotify or Apple Podcasts.
