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Watch what Crapins would like to thank its premium subscribers, Jessica Halford Porter, Brisky Doherty, and Claudia Catalina. We love you girls. Now on with the show. Hey everybody, welcome to The Watch what Crapins podcast. The podcast about all that crap we love to talk about on the broves. I'm Ronnie Caron from Trash Talk TV and as usual, I'm here with the gorgeous, talented slim and think-thin, full of Ben Mandelker of the B-side blog and the banter blender. Hello Ben. Oh, hi Ronnie. You know, I had a bagel and cream cheese this morning. So, you know, I'm going in the wrong direction. Well, hopefully that think-thin bar that you ate afterwards attacked the bagel and cream cheese and made them. You know, hopefully you Chrissy Teigen them out. Well, unfortunately, it's a think-thin bar, not a be-thin bar. So that's true. Argnosis is not good. Wow, nothing like putting an unaccomplished goal at your fucking title of a bar. Can I just give like a quick plug to myself, please? Which is that I recorded a new episode of the banter blender this week and Angie and David are on it. So come listen to that. And I've actually posted a few things on my blog this week too. I posted something about some Korean cooking. And in case you missed it on our Facebook page, I actually did a whole rundown about like my favorite board games that I have. So I know it's nothing to do with Bravo. But, you know, I put some time into writing those things. So if anyone wants to go check them out, I would really appreciate it. Thank you. Are you saying we're supposed to be doing things outside of this? Because I don't, right? Besideblog.com. Yeah, plug or girl. Also, thank you to everybody who's coming to patreon.com/watchcrapins because that is where you subscribe to the extras. Like the bonus episode, we just recorded. And you guys, it's so fun. We talk about the Zola Twitter hooker thing that's really fun, as told by the housewives, of course. Yeah, I don't want to be, I don't want to be in modest, but I feel like we kind of knocked this bonus episode out of the park. Oh, it's a good one. And we have Vicki doing her periscope fire sale. And we had Heather, we had imitations of Heather's new podcast. Yeah. It's a good one to check out. And we talked about a lot of different bravo gossip, but I think reading the Zola Twitter story in housewife voices was sort of felt like a personal high point. That was so fun. I didn't even get that that's what you were doing at first. I was just trying to make up like my own Twitter stories, and then I realized you were reading the actual crazy tweets. Yeah. So anybody who is wanting to know what that's all about, no one knows, just go listen. And thank you to everybody who does the other stuff. We did a Hangout last week. That was really fun. The ringers are great this month. And yeah, there's a lot of fun stuff. And now you can call and ask a question. We have like a new level for that. So if you want to call and ask whatever the hell you want, there's a level for the game. And we have a question later on. We'll read the question later on for this episode. And so thank you to everybody. Really come to facebook.com/watchwithcrapins. And that's where you can talk to other listeners. And us about all of the shit that we're talking about here. We have live show threads that are so fun to comment on while you're watching the shows. Yeah. People are hilarious on those things. So go on. And thank you to everybody. We've got a huge show because Ms. Heather McDonald was on our last show. So hilarious. We talked an hour and a half and did not recap shit. Yeah, that's correct. So we're going to make up for a lost time today. Yeah, we've got a lot. So today we've got Real Housewives of Orange County, Reunion Part 2, ladies of London, Below Deck. And the end of Real Housewives of New Jersey. Yeah. And I want to go out on the limb and say that I think this week's Below Deck episode was the very best Below Deck episode that's ever aired. Oh yeah, Below Deck was amazing. Yeah, I think it was actually the episode of the week on Bravo. Well, yeah, you know, I always say maids on a boat. And why would I want to be a waiter? And then watch a show about basically maids and waiters. And this is why. Because when it's a shit show, it's amazing. Because all of that frustration comes bubbling to the surface and drowns in a series. So we'll get to that. Yeah, that's going to be a good one. We have some really gossip though. OK, so none of this, I have to say this, is substantiated. I have to say that right now. We get emails from you guys. You can private message us on Facebook or whatever. And they're so good. They're full of tips or whatever. Just people asking about mac and cheese recipes and whatnot. It's like it's everything. Yeah, it's everything. But sometimes we get some really juicy tips. And we're going to withhold the name of who gave us this tip. And the only way, I believe it is because we kind of know this person and because there's a picture attached. So Carol, apparently, Carol of Real House. Well, I think she is the only Carol, right? It's kind of been odd house wise. That's well. Carol. Yeah, Carol. And by the way, I don't know what this gossip is. I am learning it along with the rest of the world. So good. OK, so Carol, Redsy Whale, Redsy, left her iPhone in a Starbucks or something. Like she lost her cell phone. And so someone we know's friend apparently found it. This all sounds very fishy. I can hear myself. I hear myself. OK, so they sent us a message and said, my friend found this phone. And is it a Nigerian friend? I don't have the $500 at the airport. No, it's basically-- I said, well, excavate. You know, pull everything from it before you call Boston pound and post. And I said, please post all dick pics. Like, go through there. Because you know, Carol's like-- How do they get in? It was unlocked. Yeah, she's on a locker phone. I don't have time to remember the numbers. Who does? I don't like my numbers. The only reason there's any password on my phone is because I was around my nieces in the summer. And I don't want nothing crazy showing up. And they're like, unkow. You know, and they see something that'll scar them for their lives or whatever. Anyway, so I said send all dick pics. And we did get a dick pic of Carol's boyfriend. What? The hook? A naked pic, a whole naked pic. OK, now I have to look. Yeah, now you can look. Now you can look. And don't say who it's from, though. You're going to be tempted. OK, so let me see. It's from Ramona Singer. No, just kidding. So you did not hear this from me at all. Carol Radzewell lost her cell in NYC and a friend of mine found it. And it's not locked. Whole leech it. Details to come. So I said, girl, download all dick pics. So we got a dick pic. Oh my god, I can verify that this is a full naked picture of the boyfriend. Oh my god, so good. And not bad. Not bad at all. Good job, Radzi. Good job. Now pick up your ping pong balls. This person said, I'm surprised she looks so squinty all the time. I think her eyes would be bugged out. And then I said, oh my god, you're my hero. Nice package, no wonder she's in love. And then here are the further details in no particular order. Luann was the co-core. They're referring to the Twitter fight that happened last week because Kristen told Brandy that somebody was a co-core or something, I don't know. And so all the housewives from New York and whatever, they were fighting because someone was called a co-core. Says the girl who just got fired, poor thing. So anyway, Luann was the co-core is what it says. Which wouldn't be a shocker because her personality has been all over the place. And all I can say is thank you, Coke. If that's true, thank you, Coke. You've done a great job with last season. Sonya and Luann hire their boyfriends. Not really a shocker there. Lots of text with Bethany and Andy about season eight negotiations, no shocker. Bethany wants to actually date a skinny girl bottle next season, just kidding. And finally, my personal favorite, Ramona is a self-proclaimed, OK, cover your children's ears. If you have children, shame on you for listening to this. We have five seconds to get them in their ear moths. Ramona is a self-proclaimed squirter. Oh. I like that Bueller added a nice emphasis. Yeah, even Bueller was disgusted. He's like, keep doing the window sills, please. I'm sorry. Oh, no, I bring the bunch outside my house. That means they're about to do the window sill. Oh, yeah, everybody, people are working on windows outside and there's a lot of sanding. I'm sorry, you know what? Well, this really reminds me this one time when I was a little girl, I was playing at the local pool and someone had a water gun. And I wanted to play with it. And my dad said, no, you can't play with it. And then Geraldine Parsons Smith came in and took my gun and broke it in half. And to this day, I always resented it. So I go out of my way to squirt whatever I can in spite of her. Okay, I'm sorry. It's crazy about how much fun I have when I'm having sex. When it's over, I squirt. And then I go, told you dad, I can do it. You're not my dad. Okay. I'm sorry, Ramona is a rebellious squirter. Okay, so that's how we're starting off this mega episode. But that shit is good. And even if it's a lie, still fun. And we got to see a dick. And honestly, all those pieces of gossip there could be total lies and fabrication. But one thing that is not a lie is that there's a full on naked picture of the hot curts. And if people are getting so crazy that they're creating dick pics of people that really aren't like Justin Bieber, that's ridiculous. Like if we've fallen that far to where even Matt's a lie, I don't even want to live in this world anymore. He should know better, by the way, than to include his face on a dick pic. I mean, that's not a dick pic anymore. That's actually just a full frontal nude pic. Well, yeah, why would he worry? Yeah, he's got nothing to be ashamed of. I mean, what are they not going to hire him to like guard honeybee things in Nigeria or whatever? Nicaragua. And by the way, also, it's like a black and white photo. It's actually like a beautiful photo. It's like artistic. Oh my God, if you look like that, listen. It's like imagine David, the statue David taking a selfie. That's basically what David's poses anyway, right? The statue of David actually holding his dick and doing the helicopter first. So it didn't look all wrinkled. So his girlfriend wouldn't have like a wrinkly dick. Like David made no effort. He's like, who cares? It's my dick. Look, people care, dude. People are still having to look at your shriveled up dick all this time later. Shame on you, David. Shame. David. David. David, do the helicopter. David didn't do the helicopter first time. I mean, we didn't love me. David, why were you posing naked for someone? And why did you not have an erection? David. David. David. So thank you to the random crazy person you sent us this. Good dick pic. Will we get sued for posting this dick pic? Is that like a stupid thing? I don't know. I get scared about things like that. Because you know if someone else is going to be like, it's going to make radar online $5,000,000? So what do we do? Do we post it or not? We shouldn't, right? It's not. Okay, so here's the thing. It probably will make radar online $5,000,000, but we're not radar online. And I get- It's not going to make us $5,000. They- they like, we're easy targets. Okay, we can get- I don't know if we'll get sued or whatever, but it's like, I mean, someone sent us the pic- I don't know. I don't know. I personally don't, I like talking about it, but I feel- Well, surely it'll be posted. I mean, they're emailing us. I'm sure that they're emailing. Someone's going to give them, you know, like a few bucks. They've got a Starbucks gift card for that. Like, wow. You're a person's penis only in it. How crazy. Never seen it before. Here's, here's our request to our source, whoever you sell the picture to. Just like, send us a Starbucks card. And thank you for sending it to you all. Send me a board game. I love a penis in the email. I'll take it. Yeah. So anyway, that was that. Okay, so let's get onto the recaps of the week. There's a billion shows. Shall we go and order? What would you like to do, Bean? I feel like even though it's not the most pressing on my mind, believe it or not, I feel like everyone wants to talk about OC first. So why don't we just get into the OC reunion? Ouchy. Ouchy. In the Ouchy. Okay. It was not. I said it was the OC. It's going to, it's going to take a moment for me to like crank this up into my brain again. True. Even though I wrote down the notes, then that's sort of mean nothing to me at the moment. We talked about Vicki's periscoping. She's having a cally and they say, I'm getting rid of everything. Forget tuscany. Bye, tuscany. Bye. So she's getting rid of her stuff on Periscope. So we already talked about that. I wanted to say that a perfect way to open this reunion is what something Vicki says. She's like me where it's like a stutter and doesn't think and then never even finishes and you're like, what is she talking about? So she does that a few times, but she's like, guys, I'm not even kidding. The counter taps the sink. I mean, I'm giving everything away. It feels like my child, you know, I just want to give stuff away. I'm like, wow. So that's a Mother's Day card from Vicki. It's like my counter. Take it. That countertop accused my husband of showing her it's good. I can imagine, you know, like being at home and then like the doorbell rings like ding dong. It's like a guy from UPS. We have a countertop for you and there's like this box that's like 10 feet long. That's like 300 pounds and just grab a slab of granite like, oh yeah, I got your countertop. I don't even look like this. It does. We have an L shape. Well, I guess not to build up a regular eye shape then. Okay. But you don't have a built in handyman like me, you know, my pasture from Saddleback. He's not only my pasture. He's also my built in handyman here at my house. Look at him over there carrying some granite. It was the pastor who's like filming it. He's like, oh, people are going to love those roosters, Vicki. Oh, yeah. People love the roosters. Meanwhile Heather's like, is that Alfredo installing your countertop? Hey, I just want to take a moment and say hi. So previously on the railhouse was of Orange County Reunion, do you know what a circle jerk is? I'm being duped. Sex tapes to circle tricks. No, that's coming up. That's coming up on. Oh, it was the basic opening was done, done, done, done, done. Do you know what a circle jerk is? I'm being duped and then you can't do you cannot do recaps. You cannot do recaps of coming up. Yes. No, I'm previously because the next part is sex tapes to circle jerks leeches to sharks and animas to colonoscopies. That's what Andy was saying. He's like, you know, this season, yeah, no, no, that is, but I'm just, I thought you were doing the opening credits of like on tonight's episode and you're recapping the teaser for a. Oh, I'm like, and then it ended next show is below dick. Uh, today on real house wise of Orange County, the credits came next on below deck. Oh, yeah. So, um, yeah, so no, they do get into the circle jerk madness. And I love how none of these women know what a circle jerk is. How do they not know what a circle? Of course they do. Tamara just had a sex party. She's like, what? What's the circle? Jerk batch. Yeah. I'm sure you don't know what a circle jerk is. Ask Eddie. All right. It's what happens after spin class now that he works alone. Um, walked floors, crooked, crooked circle jicks. Skirt floors on uneven balls on empty tables. I wish I could make that work into a sad poor person they miss song. You could. All right, Ben, you take the lead because I'm already at wieners. My next note is wiener in the wind. And then Shannon dancing arm L.O. Well, um, well, so they all are like, we don't know a circle jerk as we don't know a circle jerk is. And then, um, and then there's, then there's a quiet, there are questions to Heather about her house about her big house. Like, aren't you being crazy and yada, yada, yada? And she's like, Oh, so I see you're taking advantage of me being confused by my notes that we're taking a long time ago so that you can skip over the half an hour. We talked about Shannon's asshole. We talked. Oh, yeah. I have that too. I have that in caps down here. I put Vicki gonna barf right after she said the circle jerk thing on a train. He's my winner. So fucking crazy. And then I put big, big letters and it's even in like a larger font. Like I was good. I'm gonna forget to talk about the animal. Well, I had so many questions about her. Yeah. She's like, well, David just, he wasn't getting sick as finger. They just was looking just generally looking like a starfish. It turns out it wasn't the unbearable stress of what David did to the family. It was a tangerine. I ate earlier in the day and I blow it up like I was pregnant. Munchausons by tangerine. I'm never going to learn about munchausons is by the way, Heather just explained it to me the other day. I'm like, no, I'll keep it. It's a random crazy person making themselves. I think she's I think she said it was that you make other people six that way, like you become the caregiver. So you get attention, right, right, right. But that's munchausons by proxy. So much. Well, let's read them. I guess where you make yourself sick to get attention, right? So that would be Oh, okay. Not medical. Okay. But hey, I'm as medical as anybody on this fucking show. So circle jerk on train leeches, animals don't like coffee in my butthole. I love my notes on this show. And I have so many questions about your animal. I had a tangerine blood went down. I knew it would come apart. It fell into the toilet, but I didn't know right away. Shannon's story. Shannon's starting to tell stories like Vicki where they don't add up. Even when you're talking about something coming up your ass, you're like, well, I came out of my butt, but I didn't notice it at first because and then how did you not notice it coming out of your butt? She's not telling stories like Vicki. She's telling stories like a homeless person, a crazy homeless person. She's like, well, I had a tangerine and got me so bloated. I had to stick an enema up and then plastic got caught in there and I started wearing out down the other day at the gas station and the child is sitting in the back of the tangerine. It's going to explode and there's going to be a dead baby unless you get my tangerine $20. And then I turned on Netflix and they were showing that movie Tangerine and I thought, oh, right. I mean, I'm going to get bloated in the eyes now, bloated, bloated in the eyes will work for enema. So we talked about Shannon's enema and she was sitting there laughing like, ah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. I like when they show clips of Shannon and she laughs like she's in an 80s sitcom and they're having like some memory fest on that Nicket Knight channel or whatever it is. Clip show. Yeah. Valerie Bertinelli's hosting. I remember that had something on my butt turns out I wasn't. That was great. It's like it just happened three weeks ago. One klana get a time with Valerie Bertinelli, and the woman who says she was raped by her dad. One and above time. What was her name again? The red. Caroline. That was, I was like, wait, what that jerked my brain out for a second. You know, I forget her name. I remember. I remember. I remember. Mackenzie Philip. Mackenzie. Mackenzie Austin. I don't know. That girl had a lot of issues, the least of which acid washed overalls. I'll never forget her wearing those one time. I was like, those are amazing. I'm going to get them. Thank you for ruining my 20s. Batch. One klana get a time. One klana get a time. A klana get a time. I'm who Schneider. Who plays Schneider? Schneider is Paul Naseff. Yeah. He walks in to fix something. Okay. They're like, what's Paul doing here? He's just eating their bagels. Like what? Like shape your back, Paul. Paul, save your back. And then Jim Jim J. Bullock lives downstairs. That's too close for comfort. He's also totally applicable to the situation. Jim J. Bullock is every gay on Bravo. That's the big place Jim J. Bullock is the American Luke from Ladies of London. Yeah, but Luke is actually kind of calm. I was surprised. I guess even in London, they don't have the Bravo gays. You know, they haven't exported those yet because here he'd be like, yeah. So, you know, glitter coming off him and there he's like, oh, you need to seek case for your face. And everyone's like, oh, the gays, same gay, English tame snotty gay, you know, like Jim J. Bullock, by the way, where he's, I think he passed away from, uh, yes, didn't he? Didn't he have AIDS? And then he was best friends with, I don't know which came first, obviously, but he was friends with Tammy Fay. Oh God, I'm so sorry about the noise outside you guys. I'm horrified. I can barely hear it. Well, someone's getting a beautiful windowsill. So by the way, by the way, Jim J. Bullock is not only alive, but according to Google, he was born in Casper, Wyoming. Casper match. Look at Casper. We do a Casper match now. Oh, should we? Yeah. All right. That was an unintentional, no, safe Bullock, um, segue into a Casper mattress. That was perfectly. I'm doing a crazy note shuffle. I had to shuffle. Wasn't ready to shuffle it up while y'all still have images of Shannon's, uh, plastic ass, plastic in the ass, tangerine bloat going on Casper in their next board meeting. They're going to be like, well, they talked about a psychological tangerine stuck up with an older lady's ass and related to Jim J. Bullock somehow. And that was the intro to our ad and Tammy Faye. Don't forget Tammy Faye. Tammy Faye. Okay. I'm going to talk a little bit about Casper. I'm going to talk a little bit about Casper. I'm going to talk a little bit about Casper. I'm going to talk a little bit about Casper. I'm going to talk a little bit about Casper. I'm going to talk a little bit about Casper. I'm going to talk a little bit about Casper. I'm going to talk a little bit about Casper. 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That leads me into a theory for the end of my conspiracy theory for the end. Someone on our Facebook even suggested this too. I can't be the only one this time. It's not complete paranoia. Here's where Vicky is going with this. Her behavior has been so weird and bizarre. She's just doing that thing where she shuts down and refuses to fight. Then this entire reunion, every question that comes up about Brooks and how disgusting he is in Brianna. We'll get into that more detail. Vicky's reaction every single time is just completely shut down. You would think that I would notice that about him, but I didn't. You would think that I would choose my daughter over him. But she's starting to turn this into she's a big victim thing. Don't be surprised when her mental abuse storyline comes out of the oven because it's coming. She's already starting to deny everything as if it's some trauma from being with Brooks. He was so terrible that he traumatized her. This was all weird abuse. It's like another weird fake housewife suggested abuse story. Although Vicky was an abusive relationship back in the day, so it wouldn't be crazy. This story, this is from realmysterhousewife.com and the story is basically a story about something that was reported in radar. But basically it's set, which of course, LOL radar online. But now a story is surfacing that Vicky is taking measures to keep Brooks away from her. Vicky has allegedly been fearing Brooks for a while according to radar's source. Brooks had been sitting in a rental car outside of her insurance business. And Vicky said he almost seemed to be taunting her. When asked, heirs confirmed to radar, I was at the building where Vicky works because my attorney is there also. I could see how that got misconstrued, but there was nothing else than that. Vicky and I are on civil terms. Oh, good. Shady, that is very shady. I hate Shady, of course, and he looked kind of messy last time we saw him. But I wanted to say something about the last time we talked about this because we were talking with Heather. A couple things. First, we're like, he has no signs of cancer. And then a few minutes later, we're like, yeah, but he's doing that weird Michael J. Fox nod and licking his lips a lot and looking around. He looks like he's coming down with epilepsy. Duh, maybe that is signs from his cancer. Who knows? But I still don't buy it. I don't buy it. He will go give hour-long interviews on entertainment tonight or whatever. Say that his medical records are private. Like, you're on fucking TV talking about your medical records. Yeah, I don't believe him. But anyway, I wanted to clarify that. And also that the Judices, the Judices, sorry, did not get rated on Christmas. That was a false story. Oh, okay. All right, you see, so at least I'll correct myself sometimes. Okay. Yeah. So anyway, I think Vicky is going to start playing this whole abuse thing. Oh, wait. Can I correct something? Reputation is so bad. Can I correct something also, please? May I? As long as we're correcting. Last week, I said that Tamara threw a dog collar or leash at Simon. And he called the cops. It was actually the other way around, Simon threw the collar at Tamara. And then she took on the performance. Oh, my God. We should do a whole episode on shit. We just tell Ron. Yeah. Like, guys, you're coming up in real new school. Oh, wait a second. Sorry. Miss Red. Miss Red the Twitter feed. It's like, whoa, whoa. So anyway, I don't know why I felt the need to say that. But that is a pretty dark thing, but I see it from fucking Vicky because now she's going to have to make herself the victim somehow so that she can get everyone to talk to her again. She is a victim inside. In some sense. The guy is a con artist. He's a he's a crook. But she knew all that stuff. She was married when they met. They both met when they were in some insurance thing. She reads all the blogs. You think she doesn't have a fucking Google alert set for Brooks and her and Brianna and everybody. She knows. She read all that stuff that's been coming out for years about him being a day. Yeah, but I don't know. But when you're about cancer and chronic people out of shit. Listen, when you're a Patsy, you're a Patsy, you know, she, you know, like she may have read that stuff and she didn't choose like, say, no, not my Brooks. They got it all wrong. That Brooks is like, no, bitch. You got had. Oh, I don't, I don't believe the Vicky's innocent. Oh my God. I think that she knew he was a shithead and stayed with him because, you know, desperate or whatever. Well, that's probably a two. Low self confidence. She'll have empathy for that. But like you don't get to. I think she had blinders for this long and then get to say you're a victim. Get the fuck out of here. When you've caused this much trouble and he's done this much shit, you chose dick over everything else. That's it. Don't don't be coming trying to come up with something now that you're a victim. Get out of here. Yeah. All right. So the next thing. Let's just drop that to agree about something that completely doesn't involve you. Okay. So like, I know that we have like three other shows to be cap and we're like going through every single my news detail. So so now Jim Edmonds comes out on the reunion and Andy's like Starstruck because Andy is a big St. Louis Cardinals fan. Andy was Starstruck. He was super Starstruck. He's like, Hey, hi. Oh, wow. So what I love is that like. So Andy. So Jim is like describing stuff. He's like, you know, it's weird because, you know, you only see, you know, 5% of all my interactions with Megan and the rest are like really good and funny. All my friends know that like it's we're fun and everyone's laughing. But you all you see are the bad things and you just see the bad parts of Haley. And that was weird, you know, like that scene where I was telling Megan to just shut the fuck up. Cause I said so and I do whatever I want. She needs to shut the fuck up and shut her stupid mouth. Like we were watching that episode with friends and our friends were like laughing hysterically. So it's like then you go on Twitter and people are mad and you're like, well, maybe it's just because you like, maybe like you just didn't have the same snacks we did at our viewing party. Like I don't know, but like fuck people, you know, yeah, like maybe next time you guys should have those like the way awesome orange crackers that have the peanut butter in between them. Like that might change your perspective on it. What are those called again? I don't remember, but we need to know that wasn't injustice that poor cracker company. That's not the natural color of crackers. I want to get to the bottom of it. I wouldn't eat those crackers. I was like crackers. You're not supposed to be orange. And they were like, oh, they said these were cheese crackers, but I know for a fact those were crackers not cheese. Um, so then, but I love that Andy asked Mike and he's like, he's like Megan, like, how do you like, uh, how does Jimmy like get away with treating you like a child? Like, how do you let Jimmy get away with treating you like a child? And she's like, I don't. And he's like, he's like, yeah, she doesn't. And then I just imagine afterwards, Jimmy, be like, you're rounded. Exactly. He's like, now wipe the applesauce off your face, you stupid bitch. He is very, he is very asshole-ish through this whole thing. And it's so funny. And he's trying to just like maintain his calm. He's like, yeah, in football, it's football, right? In baseball. In baseball, you know, guys just like, we'll see each other in the locker room and, you know, like, no one's fighting. It's like a bunch of bush and back hair and like your jacket, like that's it. It's like, what are you going to fight with jock itch? No, you know, like you scratch yourself and you move. So like, I'm not used to like drama queens, like making a drama out of everything, you know? He's like, yeah, you know, there's like, there's like, there's no like drama in baseball, you know, guys, men are just more even killed and they have no emotions. Like, for instance, every time the dog out's clear out and we all run out of the field and it looks like we're all punching each other and fighting and acting like huge assholes who are out of control, that's actually our way of just showing that we are like all friends. Yeah, it's like at the end of the day, it just comes down to like maybe a slight, like butt jealousy, like it's totally normal, like for a guy to be jealous that some other guy has a bigger baseball butt than he does, you know, like, and that's just it. You're like, fuck you and die because you're butt nicer, you know, it's not like, oh, you're going to be divorced again and Andy is like, well, what does it feel like when, you know, Vicki says things like, have fun in the custody of Vicki, oh yeah, call me at five years when you're divorced. Indeed, no God insurance, God, active God, active God insurance, Jim, yeah, Jim's like, yeah, well, sometimes you just don't say anything because she's not worth it. It's not worth it. Like he got a little like overly, he's overly angry men on the Bravo. Well, I mean, he, she was way out of line when she made those comments and I think he, I think in that case he actually had a right to say something nasty to her in a, in a veiled way. So I was, I actually supported that. What I thought was funny was that Vicki's mayor cult that was like, oh, you know, I had it wrong. What, you know, you know, Brooks had said that like for the first two months have been like, they've been married for four months and two months have been challenging. I guess I got it wrong. It wasn't two months. It was just like two fights, you know, so that's it. I thought Brooks had two months, you know, two months, two weeks, two times, you know, I mean, it turns out Brooks is a cancer, you know, that's when he was born. And they said, what's your site? And he said a cancer. And I said, you have cancer. And he said, I do. And then, you know, it's just, you know, it's a huge snowball hill. Go throw a snowball hill down a hill before, you know what, hit somebody else with cancer and they fall over and die and suddenly it jumped out. I love how, I love how like she's just like, Oh, well, you know, Brooks gave me the wrong information. You know, no big deal. And yet for some reason when he tells her that she has, that he has cancer, she's like, he has cancer. Like I'm not going to question it. Like his credibility is already busted. He told you two months and it was two times his lying about conversations on the golf course back when he told me he had cancer, it's all thanks for hiding it. Hey Jim, thanks for never calling me because you couldn't save this entire season. So thanks. Wait a second, wait a second as usual, Vicki will be nicer to anybody who's richer than her and going to fight with Heather and going to fight with fucking Jim so fight with Megan because she knows Megan will just be poor again and then Megan goes into this whole thing. She's like, yeah, people just don't understand our relationship. And like I want people to know that like I have a prenup because I insisted on it because I was like, well, I'm marrying an older rich guy and giving up my career. Like I don't want his money. And so like I want everybody to know that like I married him for like not his future money, like his current money, you know, so like it's important. Vicki just had that look like, oh, well, you know, have five, have fun in five years when your kids are sleeping on a mattress, the kids you don't have are sleeping on a mattress on the floor. And Megan is like, boy, they or should I say soy, they hashtag teriyaki chicken, hashtag whenever try to make Jewish food with soy hockey, don't do it. I want to try to make my football soup with tomato soup, it didn't work. So why are you mean, why are you, why are you, why are you treating me like a child? She's like literally a child. Okay, blah, blah, blah husband stuff. And then Andy's like, okay, thank you for coming by, Jim, can I have your autograph and then Jim Lee. And then it's like, then this story I'm Megan, so you lied Vicki, you're saying right now you lied when you were clarifying because like you clarified it or were you lying? Like what was the fact and what was fiction, like she started this huge drama. He was like, not in the middle. Who cares. You're like, you don't like that back scratcher I get for Christmas. It's too skinny. It's not ever going to be used by anything, but you know, no one will throw it away. So I just let it sit there. And I can always get a new one at the car wash. Okay, Gretchen, Gretchen back scratch. Okay. Yes, that would happen to the last back scratch. You said to me, no wonder they're taking her kids away. Oh, so yes. Heather came for Vicki big time on this one. That's kind of like, you know, I just want to clarify. I wasn't lying. It just wasn't telling the truth. You know, because the truth I knew was a lie, which was a lie of the truth. I mean, what am I supposed to do? I'm taking away. And then Heather, yeah, then Heather was like, well, you were kind of like in a mood that night because the next thing you said was you made a joke about Tamara's kids in the custody. And they cut to this joke that Vicki makes, because they first they show footage of Tamara walking around with like a strap on dangling around and she's like, head, Gretchen's. And then Vicki's like, oh God, they're going to take away her other kid now, you know. And she's laughing and she's saying, oh, I don't know if she wants to be doing that. You know, she's already lost custody of one, you know, you want them to come get the other one? I don't know about that. And Heather says, she's an exemplary mother. She's an amazing mother. She's fantastic. She's amazing. You just say that. Did I just hear what you just said? Did I just hear that? But they cut from Heather going, she's an amazing mother to Tamara slapping the dildo on the side of her thighs at her sex party while talking about her fake baptism. Exactly. And then Tamara, like looks at Vicki and she's like, you can't do that. You can't make those jokes. I'm like, okay, this is ridiculous. It was a joke and it wasn't said to your face, you know, and I, you know, I know that sounds shady. Like it's okay to say it behind your back. It was just like a, it was like a little joke. It was useless and seaworthy of her to say it period, but she did have a point. I mean, on Tamara's case, she did lose custody. She's having a sex party, tying a huge black dildo to herself and slapping people with it on national TV. Like Vicki's kind of got a point. She might have wanted to say that to Tamara at some point, like that's a smack, but I don't think that being on the housewives in general is really helping a custody case for anybody. Exactly. And then sees us as a chance to pile on, she goes, wow, wow, wow. She was going through a custody thing with her kid up. Can you believe that said that about a woman losing her? Did you see that innocent woman slapping people with a dildo? She had a cat face. I mean, who is mean to cat? I mean, shove, shove a tangerine down my throat and call me shocked. Wow. Wow. Wow. Vicki. I can't believe it. Hope you have luck on the way home finding a cat with a big leather dildo that you could run over. Hah. How fun was that? My favorite is that they're all like, all of a sudden they all have this stupid outrage. And Vicki just dismissed it. She was sorry about that. Yeah. She's like, sorry. Whatever. Sorry. Sorry about that. Moving on. Got it. Got it. Got it. So what's a rooster? My Megan was trying to cry in this part too. Shannon's going, huh. And then it custom Megan. And Megan's like trying to pretend she's crying. I'm so sure. And then Heather is going off. I would not ever say that about my friend going off. It's like really? Okay. I get that you're, you've picked sides at this point, but maybe pick your battles better because that's what you're fighting Goliath, but it's not for David. It's like for Hagrid. You know, like they're both. She's very idiots. Let them find it out themselves. She's like, you know what, when Vicki was saying that Jim and I were going to divorce, it didn't hurt me. It didn't hurt Jim. It hurt Haley. My go please did not hurt Haley. It hurt Haley's comment. That's why it's not coming back for another 104 years Wikipedia justice. It hurt Haley because she got distracted and her lean cuisine to that boiling hot and she burnt her fingers. I had to look up how many points is a burnt link cuisine because like charred things make things higher in calories. Thanks a lot for making Haley fat. I just heard it coffee at myself through my adult bottle. What the hell you're supposed to be not you're not supposed to make accidents bottle. That's why I have a bottle. Sorry, Bane. Well, then we move on to the Shannon part. It's Shannon stuff. Goes on to Shannon. That's all the world needs. What does Shannon feel about? David. Hey, Shannon. Everyone's wondering what about your marriage? Oh God, make it stop. So Shannon starts talking about like, you know, I think the question is like, why did you error all this? And she's like, I do not have my story to punish David and Heather's like, I would have. I would have. It's like, yes, we know you would have had her. Heather's like, I would have taken an abisco commercial just to spite him so that he knows I'm on TV. And then when they asked me for the tagline, I wouldn't say anything about crispiness. I'd say, Terry Dubras a cheater, and then everyone who ate an abisco's would know. You know why they included that whole onion ring scene two seasons ago? Bravo didn't want to have that, but I was like, no, we need to have that in there to shame Terry for his bad taste. Punishment, Terry punishment. Terry ever did that to me. I'd have a spin-off show about the glass etching being redone into just a bunch of broken branches on the ground. And Terry's sleeping on a park bench somewhere because I have all this money. So then Shannon was saying, yeah, well, you know, one thing I've led this show is actually brought us closer together because it started the day the show happened. So that wasn't good. But you know, after that, he had an affair and I realized, well, how was being meaner to David? Then I even thought I was being so mean to David that he went out and had an affair. And then the lady's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, who blames themselves? Do you ever see someone in the middle of a crosswalk saying, I'm sorry, you hit me, no, the bus hit them. You sued the bus. She's like, no, well, you know, if they were standing in the middle of the crosswalk, refusing to smile with the bus or ask the bus how it stayed was, of course, it's going to want to run them down. No, fuck that bus. Well, you know, poor people have to get around somehow. Oh, Alfredo. That's true. He does have 20 jobs. Make buses faster. Here lies Shannon Bador struck by a bus full of David's infidelity and wristresses. It's both a concept and a real thing. Well, I don't have any quarters. Thankfully, I could pay with my pride. David truly threw me under the bus when he cheated on me with a bus driver. David? David? David? Do you get the bus driver? I looked up it and I could see up the bus driver's skirt. So that's, does that make us an open couple? We're busing up there. It's like, David? The wheels. The wheels on David's affair go round and round, round and round, round and round. So Shannon tried to take a little, you know, like she was being mean to David. She's like, well, I mean, the whole year we'd go to dinner. I think once in four years and we were intimate. Well, one time I let him unwrinkle my bra strap. It was tied around. That was, that was good. Um, that was about three years ago. So, you know, of course, you know, his, his penis, his penis wanted to explore the world. And Tamara's like, listen, you are the victim, not him. I'm like, okay. Heather, yeah. You're not wrong. But. Well, Tamara said that too. Oh, yeah. Oh, Heather was like. Oh, Heather in a bit. She can't tell us Tamara. Yeah. No, because Heather was like, you need to fix the problem or you leave. You don't cheat. Yeah. I would be done. Okay. Heather, I get it. But Tamara, when Tamara's like, yeah, that victim, I'm like, you know what? Let's just stop. Right. I'm remembering this now. She did say that. That's right. Yeah. Like her moment of empowerment. Right there. Like we may not agree with somebody's marriage and obviously we say our own opinions, but like when your friend is like, my husband cheated and I'm going to stay, it's not like leave her victim. Like she's, you know, she's taking responsibility for whatever her problem and the relationship being bad was not that he cheated, you know, like the relationship needed work and he cheated. And now he's not cheating and we're working on the relationship. It's not excusing him cheating for Christ's sake. People calm down. And I know she's still married and you're going through like a miserable custody battle in a divorce. And I'm not even dissing you for it. Just saying, you know, maybe marriage advice isn't the best. Yeah, exactly. So then the show actually takes a break and we have our little mini, mini scene, which is that the revelation is that Vicki doesn't know that a horse is a mammal and that sting rays are fish. And she's and because for some reason they're questioning Vicki. Oh, I guess because she said that a shark is a mammal. She's like, oh, look at those shacks. Those crazy mammals or something. Yeah. And she's like, like, like, okay, Vicki, what's a stingray? And she's like, I don't know a mammal and like, no, it's a fish. And she's like, well, it's a mammal to me. I'm like, oh, well, thank God. All right. Everyone, breaking news. Stingrays are now mammals because they're mammals to Vicki. This is like Alexis Bellino when she there was some word that she would always say incorrectly. And she's like, well, that's just the way I would say it. That's just how I said it. That's the way I've always said it. No, that's not the way things work. OK, just because you've always said something wrong, but that's something wrong, it's not make it right. All of a sudden people. Actually, it does kind of eventually because if people just keep saying the wrong word, then it ends up in the dictionary, like they put it in there, like they'll spell it wrong because we all spell it. She's just trying to make it a thing. It's like in the wiki, in the wiki of language, it would be like, this was a word until Real Housewives of Orange County changed it forever. Yeah. Or it's like when people say on accident, instead of by accident, oh, that drives me nuts. I said it on the reunion. She's like, Oh, on accident. I was like, just this. To the economy, homework, not English, OK? I did the economy homework on accident. So sharks are not mammals. Wow. Yeah. And stingrays are not getting confused. I'm like, wait, are sharks secret? Is that like a trick question? No, sharks. Sharks are not mammals. But then how did I bring the sharks hair? You didn't. I sure did. I got pictures of it. I got a binder. No, you don't. Oh, OK. Well, whatever. All of that. So, you know, victim. Shannon. Oh, and then they come back from this, like, doop, doop, doop, doop, doop, doop, doop, coconut, too. Shannon, so Shannon, let's talk more about, I was like, oh, God. There you go. And they're like, Shannon, stand up for yourself. And she's like, Oh, what? You think I didn't? I used to tell him, David, I am going to leave. David, if you don't, David, I said close the garage door. I'm not OK, David. That's it. David, David. David, David, David. David, David. I stood in the cold of sex so many times and said, David, your car is getting smaller. David, turn around. You turn. You're you turning. All right, David, just turn down the street. Well, I'm going to try again later because I don't give up. David, you better not be going to that Japanese restaurant to drink sake like you never used to. David. David. Oh, it's getting smaller as it goes down. I hope his car didn't have some sake. I'm not just makes everybody crazy. Who told you could have sake? So anyway, we get some insight into the big scandal from last year, which is something we touched on with Heather. And it's something that we would talk about last year. I mean, we've always been Shannon fans. But even last season, we would frequently ding Shannon for constantly saying, I can't believe you shared this thing with all of Orange County as she's saying it on TV, much as she has the season. So we found out that sort of an elaboration of the controversy from last season was that Shannon told Tamara that they were having problems that David was moving out. I don't think she said anything about the affair. But then Tamara told Heather, as we know, because Tamara was like, hey, take it easy on Heather. And Tamara, we always were on Tamara side for saying that we never thought that Tamara was crazy for saying like, I'm not taking it easy on Heather, take it easy on Shannon. We never thought Tamara was crazy for saying that that was reasonable. And then Heather was telling her friends. So what we learned was that one of Heather's friends at the table then texted the mistress about that, what was going on. And the mistress texted David. And then David texted Shannon and Shannon was filming live with Tamara when that happened, which is. Yeah, I actually had to rewind this to see what happened because it's so many details. I was like, wait, she texted somebody who texted somebody who texted somebody, but I thought that it was the mistress who was there who was texting, no, no, but it was a friend of the mistress, because then at the end, Heather goes, and that's what I knew. That's the girl. That's your girl right there. And I was like, what? So she saw Heather actually solved a mystery and fucking justice over there is all. Just is like, I'll get them next song. I'm proud of you. At least we're on the same team. I don't expect her justice. That's her other song. That's the closing theme song to her show. The opening theme song is sort of sporadic uses of the word justice. She never gets actual justice. Yeah. She gets to that, that, that, that, that, she's like, go, go, gotcha. And then she like pulls the thing down and the propeller is like coming out of her hat. First brain. Where's Brandon Penny? Oh, brain got euthanized. What? Oh, Haley, will you be my penny? Oh, Penny has to use a book. And we know about Haley's feelings and books. Ooh. Penny gave up books and is now a whore tweeting books. Her name is Olaf. Oh, so shacks, arm shaking and air, Heather. This came at lunch. Blah, blah, blah. So kids are excited to watch. And then we got back to you. Aren't you ashamed to exploit your children? And then Shannon goes through this. Well, my kids have bigger smiles now than they ever have. Sure, they've seen this on TV, but they think it's funny. It's worth the shame. We're so close now. And then Megan again tries to put some strange spin on this. She's like, I would like to congratulate Shannon for having such vocal kids. I think that's really wonderful. What are you even talking about? Vocal kids? I mean, she's like, because there are a lot of families that would just repress it. I'm like, well, yeah, that's bad. But it's also really not good that it's so like present in these kids' lives that it's actually normal eyes. Yeah. I mean, it's terrible. It's a bad situation. Denise from Duluthy wants to know, aren't you embarrassed that you couldn't even pull it together at your birthday dinner in front of your kids? Couldn't you just pretend you were happy for a five minutes for your kids? What do you think of that, Shannon? It was a gashful pub. It was fat. There was sugar. If you teach children to be happy at gastropubs, they're going to have gastrointestinal issues for the rest of their life. And what kind of mother would I be then, Twitter? Well, you would just want me to serve them up a whole bunch of tangerines? Is that what you want me to do next? And then Megan's like, well, I mean, look, I give you credit because when you're in a restaurant and you're not happy, like, you should say something because otherwise everybody's going to get really fattening ribs and then nobody's going to be happy. So like, I have a real rib justice. I applaud you for being a vocal restaurant person. What about me? What about me? Yeah, I applaud you too. I applaud everyone except for Vicki. Well, well, that's fine because, you know, that's okay. That's okay. I could go weeks now without having an executive thought weeks. I could go weeks now without thinking of until I go to a mall and that woman is there or one time I went to an event and she was there. And then another time I saw her in a parking lot and I thought, well, this woman never leave me alone. What is she stuck in me for a parking space? I want a list of every handicapped spot you passed up in the car with this woman. But I still will not have negative thoughts. That is correct. No more negative thoughts. Even when I go to get my film developed, I don't have negative thoughts even while looking at a negative. Yes, I still use film because I'm old school like that and I like small butts and film. To me, learning to deal with negativity was a very important part of photography class. I don't know what everybody's problem is. You must not take pictures, huh? Whatever happened to their own pictures? You know what I used to do? I used to take pine cones and other knickknacks and put them on that photo paper and take them into the dark room and they develop as little white shapes on the paper. And you know what? That taught me, it taught me that I can go into dark places now and I can emerge OK. Now I know what Kodak felt. Now I know what Picasso felt when Kodak was born. I think, you know, resentment's normal. Future. Future. Heather, please tell me you'll be having a dark room in your new mansion because I would like to visit it. It helps me deal with my negative thoughts. So the next Andy threatened to bring this mistress out which would only, it's like feeding a stray. Don't do it, Andy. And they bring out our favorite stray Briana Briana. So cute. Briana. And Andy's like wearing almost exactly Shannon's eggplant dress by the way. And it was like the most awkward who wore it best I've ever seen because honestly neither. It's like some glued on jewels from Dillard's on to like address from last year. Stop it. And I love how Andy's first question was like, so how are you liking Oklahoma? She's like, I hate it. Wow. She is really like in the beginning, it was like, yeah, it's cool. We have a lot of space here. It's nice. And then I was like, well, I don't really have any friends. And it's a little boy. Well, yeah, I never get out to eat. There's nothing going on. And I was like, I hate it. Get me out of here. Feel your sister. I feel your sister. So that's why they keep guns legal in Oklahoma, Andy, so you can shoot yourself and you can't take it anymore. Okay. So Briana, you know, when Briana shows up at the reunion, you know what that means one thing and one thing only, it's time to bash Brooks. And so it's interesting because the first few seasons, we were on Briana side, right? And then there was like that one period of time where I think everyone was kind of exhausted by it and everyone was like, you know what, Briana, it's time to move on. Yeah, he's shady, but your mom likes him. So, you know, you have to get over Briana and now it's kind of like that was like Gretchen and Tamara being friends, a strange aberration because now we're back. And now Briana is hating Brooks once again and we're back on her side. And this year the revelation is that Brooks hit on Briana and then Vicki told Briana that she was a liar about it and that Brooks would never want her. And Megan's like, that's so messed up. That is every like drug addict, terrible mother on cable. It's like every mother director from. Angelica Houston, Angelica Houston in the grifters, that's what that is. It's your fault. It's your fault. Different slept with you, child's like, whoa, that is textbook white trash, blaming fucking molestation on, I mean, she's an adult, so it's not, but you know what I mean. Yeah, I know. Gross. Someone's get attacked with a sack of oranges, or tangerines, Angelica Houston didn't give away granite countertops, but you know, she also, I think, dies at the end. So, you know, theory, that's true. You go Vicki learning from Angelica's mistakes. So then Brooks, so then Briana says that Brooks wanted to show her his dick and that his name was Girth Brooks. Yes. Yeah, he was joking about his dick with her and said, you want to see my dick? They call me Girth Brooks and blah, blah, blah. I'm skimming through this because I have so many notes on Vicki and Briana. And then at the end, I was like, are you crazy? Stop. Like who cares? We weren't. We knew. Oh, and then Vicki tries that. Well, we broke up. You know, so there you go. Brooks Briana does not believe that for one second. Nobody believes it. Everyone knows that. But Vicki was being very calm. Like, you know, in the past two, well, well, I think that was like an admission of guilt. She's starting her. No, she's starting her. Oh, well, yeah. Of course I let him abuse you because he abused me and that's what people do. Mark my words. She well, it's weird. Vicki, when she finally comes to terms with being wrong, she's usually pretty good about saying that she was wrong. But I think she's in a phase that she is starting to realize, like, holy shit, I fucked up, but I'm not ready to say I fucked up yet. So she was just sort of very calm because in the past, she would have just started yelling at Briana. But Briana, so apparently Brooks says that he's going to sue Briana and Megan now. Vicki basically is in damage control for her reputation and her job on the show, basically. Because she says Briana, she says multiple times when Briana says all of this stuff, Vicki's reaction, when they say, how could you not believe Vicki? What do you even have to say to this allegation? She's like, well, she's my daughter. So I believe her because I have to believe my daughter. And that's just how it goes. I believe my daughter. She kept saying stuff like that. Like, well, it's, you know, my daughter said it. So there it's true. Because my daughter said it. You know, she's trying all this stuff that now she's listening to Briana so well. And she's not questioning anything because Briana said it, but she doesn't believe that. She's not going to change her mind in one week. And well, and Briana was saying that she spoke with her grandma, not too long before she died. And she said that the grandma did not like Brooks and no one likes Brooks and everything. And Vicki's just like, so something felt weird. But then the best part was that then Andy teased his interview with fidgety coked up Brooks and he's like, I'm sorry, I couldn't go to the reunion because of a scheduling conflict. I'm like, what is on your schedule, Brooks? Yeah. What is on him? Is there like a sale at the pancake house or something? I mean, what, what can you possibly be doing? Things like our pirated Photoshop was paused because it tried to have an internet connection. And next thing you know, I was done making medical documents. It was a two for one putt putt the other day. So I really couldn't miss that event. Sometimes you refuse to have lunch, but Photoshop won't let you refuse. So you have lunch. What can I tell you? So she was Brooks was, oh man, he was so yeah, I feel like we talked about it because we did with Heather. Uh, for those of you, yeah, like we obviously do, we have to talk about it again and we're in the reunion. That guy was like crazy. That guy looked totally meth out. That guy looked like he was making fun of Michael J. Fox, honestly, like his head was like popping back and forth. He had the Coke Jaw clenched, Ali Sheedy trying to act clenched. You know, what you would get? Yeah. Coke Jaw, um, shifty, drinking his water, line, line, line. Everything that comes out of that man's mouth is a lie every time. Yeah. You know what I mean? It was like a cornered animal because normally he's like very calm and he has this smile, like a politician. But now it's kind of like all his lies are crumbling around him and, you know, people are being more skeptical than ever before and now he's cornered and he's going to try to like attack and go in attack mode, but it's, it's not working Brooks. Yep. And as usual, he's not giving any real answers. Uh, Jaw clicking slur country lawyer talk twitch. What the fuck? I was just writing Twitch over and over because he'd be like, well, I'll tell you the details of the case or that if you look at the evidence in the case of the whatnot, then you'll understand the preliminary of objection. It's like, what are you even talking about, dude? Yeah. You're not even making fucking sentences. Uh, I don't blame, and then Andy says you blame the show because, you know, I mean, like for a paycheck, everyone pretends not to blame the show. So I'm interested to hear who you would blame. And he's like, Oh, I don't blame the show. I'll blame the women and Brianna, I'm getting Australian Brianna to, uh, he's so gross. And you know, he should blame Brianna in a way because she did hate him and try and ruin it, but he's gross. She saw, she saw you. Yeah. She saw you. Fucker. So we have one more family. Hey, me. I went on vacation with Rhonda. Oh, well, there is some fucking evidence. Idiot. Yeah. Well, we have one. I'm so sorry, Ben. They're after her money. I keep going, seeing more books, things. So he says basically that everybody's motivation to lie is that they're after his money. And Brianna is like, yeah, I make six figures. So bye. Yeah. Uh, not true. Uh, you think Brianna leans on Vicky and then Brianna said they're showing this interview. And you know, in the bottom box, it's usually either Tamara looking like she can't believe somebody's such a batch or Shannon looking really like, Oh, yeah, yeah, or, uh, this time it was just Brianna, but instead of just her face, it's Brianna going, you lying second shit. Yeah. She could not believe what she was hearing. She could not believe it. Brianna's Mystery Science Theater 3000, the whole thing, but like cursing it out. So good. Yeah. She had like, she practically had like her middle fingers out thing. Fuck you. And a little more evidence pointing to this becoming Vicky's abuse storyline is, um, when Tamara said, yeah, Vicki, like it's not your fault. He consumed your soul. He like consumed your soul. You couldn't do anything. Like he had part of you and I was like, Oh, my God, there are already prepping reconnecting with people in your life is so important. And sending a holiday card is a meaningful way to do that, but it can be hard to know where to start. 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Companted products are not FDA approved or verified for safety, effectiveness, or quality. Prescription required restrictions apply. I know. So that's it for that, right? That is it for that. Let's move on to another show. What would you like? Do you want to do a quickie on Jersey, or do you want to do like a whole thing? I can't imagine that we'd have that. Let's save Jersey for last in case, because, you know what, the thing is this, we have two really worthwhile shows to discuss. And Jersey was so awful, I don't want it to be that if we run out of gas, I think it would be like an injustice to run out of gas on like blow-decker ladies of London. If anything, we can run out of gas on Jersey, because it's just such a huge waste of time. I've voted, that's for sure. Yeah, tell me about it. So why don't we go on to ladies of London? Let's do it. Note shuffle, note shuffle. Okay, so it starts off with our typical opening montage, and this time I took a page of the Roni Caron book, and I wrote down some of the lyrics of the generic public domain music that they used, and it was like, "I was raised in Buckingham Palace, so don't tell me that I'm the one that's jealous, suit and tie, I think you're looking so fine, I could have anything I ever wanted." I was like, "What is this stupid song?" And then it stops, it's like stop, and then it cuts to one of the ladies doing a wacky getting ready thing, and it's like Juliet, and she's like, "Come on, kids, dad's not here, get in the car." Lonely. Don't be jealous 'cause I'm a rage princess, don't be jealous 'cause I was raised in Buckingham Palace, I can have anything I want, and it's good, Marissa, she's like, "I have some pheasants that I killed the other day, maybe look out there, maybe a bullet in there." It's like, "No, man, it's a short, it's not a bullet." It's the same thing, right? Stupid Americans. You're from America, and you don't know how a bullet works. Why? Why are you jealous of the book in that palace? And then it cuts to Caroline, she's trying on a bag, she's like, "Oh, it takes it off." She doesn't even say anything, she just has this look, like, "Who the fuck designed this stupid bag?" And trick me into putting it on my shoulder. Pauline! Don't be jealous 'cause Pauline and bags. London Fashion Week, oh no, but first it's Fleming. Yeah. Stop music, pause. I can't look at a room with a sofa that's not fluffed. It's just really bizarre. Really bizarre. How lucky are you that I have just puffed up the sofa? I love the guys who are standing, whenever I scream like that, they stop and look in here like I'm the noisy one. I'm not the one taking care of windowsills with this voice. I'm really good. So, London Fashion Week. There's London Fashion Week, and the music was like all of a sudden tense, for no reason, Maris and Juliette are in the front seat, and we learn that it's fashion for Ebola. So I'm like expecting like all these hot hazmat suits to come down their catwalk, but instead it's just, you know, models, Naomi Campbell. To celebrate fashion for Ebola, we're celebrating artists that you may have heard we're going to be a big deal once, but they never were, except for an Africa. Go Ebola fashion. Fashion is sort of like Ebola, you know, once you have fashion in you, you have to be quarantined off with people who just know fashion also. That's it. This fashion is just like Ebola. It's very difficult to get, and only the thing to survive. So speaking of Ebola, Annabelle, Annabelle then comes walking down the catwalk. Fashion me. Fashion me after, she got to walk after Naomi too, it was like, first is Naomi Campbell, and then Rose from The Golden Girls, and then Annabelle, and Juliette Maris is like, "What? There's so much pharmace over there." And Juliette's like, "Yeah, it's so cool because like, I remember one time I was at fashion, I was at Fashion Week one time, and I remember like, this really baby--" I was selling cotton candy. "Shiffer came, and then there was this other really one like Naomi Campbell came down." And then this one that I didn't know, and I was like, "Who is that?" And now I'm like friends with that girl I didn't know back then, like she's still walking down runways, and I'm still like, "Why?" But like, "Yay, friends." So life is all great and happy with them. And then we go to the gift library where it's empty, and it's just Caroline and Rania. Pauline, and Pauline looks like she's about to shit herself because basically it's shutting down. Pauline's like jowl shaking over there, she has like that vibration thing going on, like she's sitting on a washing machine. It's like the final meeting, this is the end, and it's like Caroline and Rania and Pauline on the office, they're sort of-- Caroline's like, "I hate this, I feel terrible supposed to live my life." Literally the worst day of my life, Rania, tissues, Pauline, garbage bag. Pauline, she's losing her shit, and she's like, "These things are never pleasant, mom, never pleasant." It's like, "Oh, yes, you know what else isn't pleasant, shitting in a hole or whatever they do in China." Well, it's some like off-handed joke, and they're all like, "Oh-ho-ho, Rania goes." "That isn't funny, mom, this isn't funny, mom." Bad news, issues, mom. Bad news, mom. Bad news, man. You made a tasteless joke. Everyone's fired, I don't know why you're joking. I don't know why you're joking, mom. Don't say Rania, laugh, louder, laugh, Pauline, laugh and cry at the same time, laugh. That was so sad, I was like, "Goodbye, goodbye." At the end of the day, I never stood up hired 90 people, I only stood up hired four. I just stood up hired Rania to call Valentina. To call Pauline, to call Amber, to call Jose. That was just my imaginary intern turning, but the rest of these people here are up to pay. They're called interns. Thank you, Twitter. By the way, I want to say that Monday afternoon, I had food poisoning, and I was lying there on bed, and I was like, "Really not feeling well, I could barely focus." The most amazing thing happened, which is that somehow you, me, another Twitter account, bitch by Bravo, and someone else, we all wound up in this crazy Twitter conversation. Like CC'd on this Twitter conversation that Caroline was having with Sophie and Luke. It was like back and forth for like an hour. It was like every two seconds, my phone was like, "Bloom, bloom," and it was all of them, and they were being hilariously mean to each other. It was the most wonderful thing. Did you read any of that stuff? I read some of it, but I get confused by Twitter. I'm like, "What are they talking about? Why are they still talking? What are they doing?" They'll be like, "You are." Sophie. Oh, you're so bad. No, you are. It was amazing because, well, it started because you had tweeted out to everyone the picture of Sophie doing a shot last week, and then she starts like, someone starts responding to all, and then Sophie says something about something, and Caroline just responds and goes, "Go away," which I thought was amazing, and Sophie's like, "No, you're still stuck with me," and she's like, "Dear God." It was great, great moment for us. Good stuff. Good stuff. Well, they're having a big Twitter war today, and it's hilarious because it's so late as of London. Actually, it's not today. I guess it was yesterday. Was it Annabelle? I guess Annabelle's telling everybody's mad at Annabelle because of this episode, which we'll get to, and we'll talk about the Twitter war when it happens, because we'll actually look it up. It's funny to read. So speaking of Annabelle, we then had a scene of Annabelle with Naomi, and they are sitting on a couch, and they're just talking about McQueen, and, "Oh, McQueen believed in you, sir." Alexander believed in you so much, Annabelle. He really did. He just loved you. It's like, how many scenes do we have to sit through of Annabelle being comforted by someone else, telling them how much Alexander loved her. It's not like you're fucking Mrs. Lincoln, you know what I mean? Get the fuck over yourself. Yeah. I made some dresses. Calm down over there. Okay? Your friend was talented and everything, but you don't get points for just knowing someone who's talented. On her Twitter account, her header on Twitter, it says, "Best friend of McQueen. Best friend and muse of McQueen." That's your fucking Twitter. I know. Is it your someone's best friend, darling, even Barney Rubble has his own Twitter bio? Yeah. And then Annabelle tells Naomi, she's like, "You know, lots of people want me to talk about McQueen on his anniversary." It's like, "Girl, don't act like you haven't been talking about him all this time. She's talking as if she's been closed-lipped, and she hasn't commented on the situation or shared her thoughts all this time, and now people really want to hear what she has to say." It's like any chance you get, you're talking about Alexander McQueen. It's like, "Do you want to supersize that? I don't know. That's what Alexander would ask me." And I'd say, "No, Alexander, too many French fries for you, but maybe he should have had one last one. Alexander." I wish Alexander was here, because only he could truly appreciate celebrating his anniversary with Ebola. And then, you know, I also get this bola cake, but since we didn't eat cake, it's made out of tiny little models that retired 25 years ago. I also, isn't me, don't you get the feeling like Anna Bell prepped Naomi beforehand, and I was like, "Oh, Naomi, in this scene, do you remember to bring up the fact that I babysat Bono's kids? Thank you so much." Because then Naomi's like, "Out of nowhere." She's like, "Oh, you're so good with children. You were babysitting Bono's kids, weren't you?" She's like, "Oh, yes, just that, yes, of course, just that." And like, everything is always this convenient reference of how everybody knows you're famous, and Naomi's kind of given me that attitude that we've seen a lot on Bravo, and I think is why I'm sensing it, but it's kind of a weariness of someone who just really never made the kind of money that they actually, like, they had. It's almost like, "Please stop calling me for money, Anna Bell. You're so famous. Oh, yes, Anthony, loved you. Oh, yes, Bono's children." It's like she's trying to get her a job babysitting, possibly being a pop. She's like something. She's just like, "Someone give her a job. She's famous. I swear to God, but I cannot loan her any money, all right? It's just not the same ever since that maid got hit in the phone with her face with one on my phone, you know? I guess it's just been drained, darling, you understand?" So then we go to a commercial, and I am very dismayed to see that Bravo is bringing back untying the knot. Is this a show that anyone watched the first time around? I mean, it's like-- Is untying the knot the therapy, isn't there, like, some relationship show? No. It's the divorce lawyer. It's that one who's like, "I'll help you get through any divorce." And then she appeared on New Jersey in one scene. But it's ridiculous. I can't believe that Bravo is bringing back untying the knot. And where are gallery girls? Where's Secrets and Wives? Where's Princess's Long Island? I ask you that. Well, I was going to say if Princess's Long Island was when they were just older, maybe we all would have watched it, but it is, and that was Secrets and Wives. We didn't watch that either. Or, well, we did, but, you know, I made the world. The world's the North. Speaking of America. We loved it. Because Alexander, and sometimes I speak as the country. Because Alexander loved going to the country. Alexander. Alexander. So next up, we get Caroline Fleming and Marissa at a team meeting. Yeah. So this is great because Marissa is sitting there with a little present for Caroline, and she's like, "Well, you know, I just want to put the past and the past, you know?" And she said, "We're moving on, so I'm ready to move on." And Caroline Fleming walks in with about as prototypical of a bitchface as you can imagine. It was like, "I am Dutch royalty right now, and I am very angry, and you are going to hear why momentarily." I am so upset that I need a pajmina made out of camel skin to hide the chill. And Marissa's like, "Hi, how are you?" She's like, "Coming down with the flu." I think I'm dying of the flu bowl, darling. I hope you don't get it. How unlucky would that be for the world? The kindest thing you could do would be not to kiss me on the face. The kindest thing you could do for yourself. But the kindest thing you could do for me and the world is to just dive something. I don't even care what it is. Choose. The kindest thing that you could do and for you and for the world would be to throw yourself in front of a train. Thank you. It's not a drain in the pink Himalayan mountains, because that's where I get my salt. And I would not want you to change the quarries that provide such happiness to me. My hummus does not need your betrayal. I want the pink to come from minerals and not your blood. So dumb. So she does come in with bitchface and it's so funny because the way the restaurant is set up. I guess this is everywhere there because abfab, tiny stairways everywhere. But here she's coming down the staircase and it's like really, it's like an attic staircase it looks like. She's like having to like really concentrate on the stairs so she doesn't die and maintain bitchface at the same time. And it was so good. I was like, nothing goes as planned ever, you know. And then she does the bitchiest thing of all, which is then she's like, I have so many things on my mind. And then it's like, she gives us this like sad face, like a sad emoji face. It's like such a condescending, nasty way to start the conversation. I was like, oh, I love her. She should have fired everybody for the other Caroline because she's totally that boss who fires you and it's like, so wonderful to see you. This hurts me. I could not even sleep last night because you're fired. I couldn't even walk straight this morning because you're fired. It's so hard on me that you're fired. Oh, sweetheart, you looked like you're crying here. Let me get you a tissue for your any, we need teeny tears. I'm so sorry that you're fired for my tears. All the tears that I've cried because of what's happened to me having to fire you. So Caroline feels betrayed and she there's still things that she wants to hash out, which is pretty much the same stuff. She has that last time, but now it's on her terms. So she's like, Marissa, you have really deeply hurt me. You know, my world is really teeny, rainy and you know, I want to make sure that those people who are in my teeny, really adorable little world have my back and be a good friend have my back and be nice to me and do this and stop talking about me and stop hurting me and stop being a common American. If you'd like to stay in my teeny, tiny coffee cup, you are more than welcome. So it's like my entire world is in this little coffee cup. I only have room for one cancerous stevia packet, but you're not it darling, right? So how about how my coffee cup or but how lucky, how lucky are you to be able to be and the saucer instead of the coffee cup, how lucky, don't be an equal, be an organic cream Marissa. That's all I'm trying to say. You know, you know, Marissa, may I call you Marissa, in life, there are some people who are sugar cubes and some people who are just those ugly brown packets of sugar in the raw and I'm afraid you may be the latter. How lucky for you though to be included on the table. Marissa's like, what do you mean? I was like, I made you mad because like I said, you fuck babies and then you're like, no, I don't. And then I said, I'm sorry. And then you're like, okay. And then like later, then you weren't, you weren't forgiving after all. And then you got mad again and then you got pissed again. And then I said, I'm sorry. And then you were like, no, that's like, yes, I didn't express it the first. I didn't have the coffee, coffee cup analogy the first time. But now I do. I was originally thinking more in terms of like a thimble or a punch ball, but the sizes were just not right. But then coffee cup came to me last night and I realized I have to sit down Marissa and burrito one last time before my life fit into a tall vase. But then it got difficult for my life to get out of the vase because the vase was too tall. And I thought I'm imprisoning my own life force in the bottom of a vase. So I switched to coffee. You don't mind re-disgusting to you, darling. I was originally, you know, I had thought about a highball glass because, you know, it looks so tall and majestic, but they're actually really small. Like, if you have a drunkard from a highball glass, you think, oh, goodness, I could get a good solid four or five gulps out of this and then halfway through the first one, you're like, it's already done. And there are ice cubes in here. What's wrong with me? So I thought, no, that's too small. So I upgraded to coffee cup. And Marissa's like, well, who else was in your coffee cup, like, is there anybody like famous there? Like, who's in there? It's Juliet in there? It's Juliet in your coffee cup. So darling, I don't have a big coffee cup right now. Well, I like to think of Juliet as the little teeny, really spoon that goes in and stirs around. But then I take it out. It just always has to come out. You never drink from a coffee cup with a spoon in it. Remove the spoon. You let the spoon go in there and absorb all the heat so the cup doesn't break, and then you remove it. Marissa's like, well, my friendship circle is sort of like the giant mugs they had at friends. That's mine. Everyone can get in. Um, my friend's circle is like one of those little sippy cups that go together and they fit together so they can never break in the cupboard. I mean, it's like a puzzle, like whoever's connected, you know, like my my my friendship circle is like one of those cups that looks like an ice cream cone, and then you put the fake plastic ice cream on top and a straw and it looks like you're sipping ice cream, but it's actually just whatever beverage you want it to be. That's the magic of it. I'm reinventing coffee. I'm bringing it to Britain, and I'm going to charge $30,000 for a cup of ice, and I'm going to drink it sideways, and I'm going to call it Starbucks, not Starbucks Starbucks. It's going to be called hottish coffee. It's going to be called coffee, plant, and tea stocks. Oh, it's going to be called it's going to be called Peter's coffee. It's going to be called Peter's brew, it's going to be called the new franchise. It's going to be called instant. It's going to be called Maxwell estate. All right, so we're still in the scene of the show. Okay, so Julie is in that she's pissed because, yes, you're friends with the sister, but if we're all going to be friends, you can't be running to my sister telling her all my gossip or I can't gossip around you, which means I can't be your friend, because how am I going to fuck a 30-year-old if I have to worry about my mother calling me, which is a good point. And Marissa is like, but yeah, but she's my friend, so what's I'm not supposed to call her and let her know that I thought you'll work for her. It's like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry for the million time, I'm sorry, which you really should say, I think what she wants here is, I'm really sorry, and I'm glad you're telling me this because, you know, I wasn't thinking, and now I realize how that impacts thing, and now I know I'll never do it again, but she's saying, I mean, what can I say, I'm sorry, what else do you want me to say, which is true, what else can she say, she said, she's sorry a million times. Well, she says sorry, but the reason it's not accepted is because she doesn't say I'm sorry, she says, I'm sorry, but your boyfriend threw me out of the car, which is why I don't like him, so that's not really a sorry, and also, it's typical Marissa because she's going to be nicer to the sister who still will invite her entire family over to a castle for Christmas, you know what I mean? So anyway, either way, they still hug, and then we move on to Julie, who is going to, she's like, well, I saw how much attention that Marissa got into the hot talk photo, so I still want to do the same thing, I want to do this thing with Job, so she's going to do this crazy Job photo, where she's going to get, take her, basically be naked, and she's going to have this job painting painted on her, and she's going to stand against a corresponding painting, et cetera, et cetera, and it's, I mean, it winds up being a cool photo, but I don't really see how it's good branding in any sort of way, and Julie's like, but I'm Job, I'm Job, that's me, I mean, I think I am, I mean, I'm actually good. Job, that's right, Julie's unbelievable, balls! And I was like, oh my God, Julie, but I liked that she compared it to Marissa, because she's like, well, Marissa, like, she was in the newspaper, and she was like, she had a hot dog smile, and everybody loved it, like everybody in town loved it, I'm like, really? Because we just saw everybody making fun of it, also, by the way, that was kind of a phallic symbol, and now you're doing a nude, it's like, these Americans and their ads, of course, even the innocent, because both of them are innocent, it's not like they're hoes or something. Well, I think, I mean, I actually always thought, Marissa, one's a nude picture, it's like, oh, come on America, what's the other angle, that's our angle for everything, you know? Get naked! Well, I actually thought Marissa's picture was totally fine, and on top of that, it's different, because that was a photo, it was a photo shoot with, you know, a newspaper, it wasn't like, the hot, the top dog branding is not going to be that picture over and over again, but Julie is like, here, I'm going to take this picture, I'm the brand, I mean, you won't see my face, you'll just see my back on my butt, but I'm the brand, and this doesn't really seem to match anything that has anything to do with, you know, energy balls, but yeah, meanwhile, I'm just imagining all the kings and queens that are dead in England, rolling over in their graves, me like, this is what our royal lineage is coming to, taking, taking stupid, naked photos with body paint on to promote some ball made of like sunflower seeds and ground updates. And why do you need an ass crack to get everybody's balls excited, you know, it's like, get your balls ready, with this ass crack, it's like, it's so sexual, and she's so innocent that it's, it's just awkward, you know, like, poor thing, and by the way, I don't think Marissa Singh was bad either, I just mean in context of the show, how they were calling each other, like, can you believe she's on, she's in a newspaper with a big dick hanging from her mouth, like, yeah, I would never, I would never, um, yeah, that's, I mean, I'm glad she's trying though, but I think it's so funny that she's like, I'm painting my butt crack, and I'm gonna sell jump balls, and we're gonna save Mapperton, it's like, oh, it's like those people in movies who put on terrible musicals to save something, like, a terrible musical never saved anything, you know, sell some cookies, something people want fucking balls, not your balls, you've sold this with some cookies, all right, some sugar, Snickers, those little kids walking door to door smelling sickers, Snickers always seem to have decent shoes, like they're doing okay, now sell something that we'll buy. Yeah, seriously, I almost bought a Snickers bar right before this podcast, and said, I gotta think then, so, um, then we move on to Caroline, Sophie, and Caroline, all meeting together for lunch, which I love, these are my three favorites, and I like them all being together and being haughty and, you know, dismissive of everything, um, and so I love that when Caroline Fleming arrives, she forces a hug on Caroline's stand right, which by the way is a great, um, great exercise and contrast between her and Marissa, with Marissa, she's like, I have the flu, I think I just got it seeing you, whereas with Caroline's stand where she's like, give us a hug, give us a hug, right now, and Caroline's like, no, no, no, Pauline, buffer, buffer the hug, buffer the hug, Pauline, all right, Valentina, get up, get out of here and pry a further away from me, so Pauline can fit up in here to buffer, all right, all right, all right, rain a spot, rain a spot, Valentina put on this blonde wig, now tell Caroline Fleming that you're me, okay, accept the hug, accept the hug, bad news, mom, Valentina, fell over, her wig fell off, she has everything, so this is your standard, um, scene on any of the Bravo shows where women get together and have a quote unquote spontaneous idea to go on vacation, so in this case, it was Caroline, she's like, you know, I would love, I would love, you know, what I love doing, I love going back to Denmark, and my kids just all love going to the castle, we just love a castle. I would love for the world to experience what I experience in the castle of loving bonding between parent and child that is Denmark and Shakespeare, roses and tiles, money and love, it's like shut up, we're going to your fucking house for the weekend or what, lady Jesus, sell it less, darling, your dad is taking up the entire page, I just love that she just so effortlessly is just talks about like, oh, you know, this weekend, I would just love to go to my castle, who has castles to go to, yeah, I would love for everyone to experience a castle, it really is amazing, watching mummy come down all those stairs with a number of five ladies who raised me his names, I don't remember, I do remember that one found a sock bag once, that was adorable, you know, it's so important for me to have Julia experience a castle that is not a TV show, I wanted to live in a castle, not watch one on ABC. Oh God, so I love though that they're like, is there going to be drama and so he's like, well, you can count on it, and then Sophie of course takes this as a chance to just totally bash Marissa and Julia, she's like, the American girls are much softer and easily hurtable, they're not thick like us, there's this little pin, pin, pin, pin, pin, pin, pin, pin, pin, pin, pin, pin, pin, pin, pin, pin, pin, pin, pin, pin, pin, pin, pin, pin, pin, pin, I don't know, give me another vodka. Oh, Americans are like, dear, they just stand there, they get shot and then they fall over, I say, put on a dear skin, then you've got double the skin and bullets don't penetrate, this was 90,000 euros, this coat, oh my lord, ladies, oh, the first shopping was later, but I was like, whoa, yeah, Sophie's like, the way to travel to a castle when you live in England, what to wear, velvet pants that cut off right below the knees, almost like a Newsy, but a little bit longer so everyone knows that you're richer. It's just what you do, going to a castle is the pursuit of luxury and Americans don't understand that, then that's their problem. And Caroline's like, I simply must get away from the shock and the stress of losing the gift library, there are still poor people clinging to the handles of the front entrance, the handles never paid you, oh, I've got too much love in my heart to call them stupid, so I had Pauline do it in a memo which she couldn't print because Kinkers has started locking us out, I can't darling, I can't, and Flaming's like, darling, you deserve some time in the castle. Caroline's like, well, I could not agree more, I mean, I woke up today and I thought, what am I going to do with myself, it's a Monday and I don't have anywhere to go, I mean, what am I supposed to do, play with the children, I don't think so. I just went on to the front stoop and called the nannies and ordered them around anyway, I think it didn't feel the same. Do you know that what you just say at home, all you have to do is talk to the children, I mean, what sort of lifestyle is that? I've left Reina a message to leave Pauline a message, to have Valentina come talk to the children, Lord knows when they had cell phones will be turned back on, this is difficult for me, and then, yeah, Flaming's like, oh, Caroline, relax at a castle, sounds great, good trip, good trip, guys, worried about those poor people, how lucky are you, and Flaming has completely dropped any, I thought it would take like the second season for the bitch flower to bloom, but Flaming, nope, she was like, all right, she's like, I'm a hippie, and now I'm just a rich bitch, who says hippie things every once in a while, just for fun, ironically, because I don't mean them, I'm like, oh, no, now I take every like peaceful, nice thing she says as a barb, and it kind of works for her personality because she says them all with a little squint, like, I can't be in a room without a fluffed couch, it's absolute, what'd she say, it's unbelievable, you know, I made that beat for that later. Who doesn't fluff the couch, I understand that I'm not in a castle, but I'll count fluffing skills beyond your understanding person, who doesn't know I'm a baronette. So then it's time to go to Denmark, and so we have a packing montage, packing, packing, packing, packing, packing, packing, Caroline of Sandbury, of course, brings four huge bags for four days in Denmark, which is crazy, they all get to the air, Pauline was living in one of them. Yeah, Rainier was in the other, it was actually all three of her assistants, Valentina, get into the travel pro, Pauline zipper up. We are flying Southwest, right, I'm not paying facts to luggage. Well, it is funny, because they did ultimately wind up flying coach. So Caroline, Sandbury, I'm sorry, so they all get there, they check in, Annabelle is late, and suddenly this is like, becomes a thing, like, well, you know, we always have to wait for Annabelle, we always have to wait for Annabelle, like she always makes everyone wait, Caroline Sandbury is not happy about it, whatever, Annabelle comes in, we have this prolonged montage of Annabelle kissing everyone, and we know it by the way, we know that she's in a foul mood, because she's super nice, she's like, "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't kiss you." Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You're on drugs. Nick, help me. Because that's the sign of her, like, just coming out of the bathroom, late sniffling, that's when she's nice, people. This is my Kim Richards moment, okay. There is something going on there, and I don't even care if she's a drug user, and I hope nobody does call her on it, but all this trouble she's getting into seems like when she's in one of these weird modes where she's showing up late, acting odd, saying hello, smiling, I mean, who does that, but some of the uni jokes? I'm not talking about Alexander, she's like, "Hey, hello, hello, look, I didn't see, oh, so many kisses to give that, oh, I would say I was late, I would say it was the cosplay photo." So then what was the issue, because the voice that they had on Twitter was all about this, because now everybody's pissed at her, and she's calling people a bully, and then Stansbury was like, "Oh, but you don't even understand what she puts people through off-camera and the way she treats people, but I won't out her because I'm a lady," and then the other one, or Annabelle's like, "How unrocken role of you to have manners, you, you know, you don't bully people into agreeing with you, darling, I like to know." What I thought was very strange on the show was that all season long, the story has been Julie and Annabelle have been friends, and Julie was the only one who visited Annabelle when she has had a broken back, and Julie just loves Annabelle's advice, and they're just, you know, Annabelle thinks she's just adorable, and though she's flighty, and then all of a sudden, this episode, Julie is like, you know, I think Annabelle's been really distant lately, and we just haven't really been talking, and it's like, what, where did that come from? I mean, was this supposed to be, was this supposed to be, like, was this seed supposed to have been planted last week when Annabelle was like, "You know, if someone who teaches breathing slowly, she really needs to take a breath." No, this was planted way at the beginning when they were friends in the first place. Annabelle's not going to be friends with some stupid American twins. I know, but I just don't know why I think the term was. I don't know. I'm getting too. I was trying not to make it an hour-mom long, because I've already said this stuff before, but it's basically because Annabelle was using Julie and Juliet to tell off Stambry, or Stambry because she can't do it, and when they didn't do it, and her evil, you know, her evil bullwinkle villain failed her Natasha plan, she got pissed because they didn't pull it off, and now she will have nothing to do with either of them because she couldn't use them properly. Well, I think that the producers could have bolstered that plotline a little bit more. They should have had a few more moments where Annabelle was like, "You know, I don't understand why I take this person under my wing, and then there's a bully, and then she just ignores what I say. I don't know if I need friends like that." Maybe there wasn't one. Maybe I ignored it, but I was sort of surprised that all of a sudden Annabelle and Julie were now officially distant. She dropped her the second she became a pussy when it came to Stambry, and the girls had that argument over who was nicer to Stambry. Yeah, it showed her it's like standing on the side being just disappointed that her little minions failed. I was like, "She's done with them, and she's suddenly not speaking to them anymore, just slinking off to the bathroom with her odd friend, Liam." Yeah. So anyway, they go, they fly over to Denmark, and of course, Caroline Fleming is like, "If you look over to the right, you'll be able to see the castle. How lucky are you to see my castle?" I'm like, "But you're in coach, okay." Well, we're not rowing on the plane. It doesn't come into effect until we land. You'll get it when we land. So then they land, and there's a paparazzi, and they're like, "Oh my gosh, she's such a big deal here." But you know what? There was only one paparazzo. There was one guy, and he trailed him the entire time, and he was probably hired by Bravo. And there was just one lady, but it wasn't like a wall paparazzi, but Caroline Fleming was still in the bus, and she was like, "It will be difficult for us to have any privacy. I'm really sorry about that. I'm really sorry. It's going to be a wall. Perhaps." It's difficult. Everyone wants a piece. It's going to be difficult, ladies, because this weekend, I'll put it in a way that the Americans can understand, "You're going to feel like a piece of pizza in an office party where everybody wants a piece." I saw it on television. This isn't a game, or as maybe for the Americans here. We aren't at Dave and Boosters. Boosters? Is that what it's called? Busters. Busters. Okay. Poor thing. Yeah, so she's super famous, which, who cares? I mean, that's cool for her and stuff. But just the reactions are so ridiculous, Julie. It's like, "Oh my God." I'm like, I knew her, because like, my God met her before. I went to her house sometime. I'm like, I didn't realize she was like, "Hmm, famous." I'm right. Pesto, with a famous person, and had her free does. She gave me really terrible almond paste for a time to eat, putting that in my mug. And she asked me how lucky was I, and I was like, "I don't feel lucky, but now I feel really lucky." So yeah, she's like, "Welcome to my land." She became very, um... Yolanda. Yes. Well, here's the witness. We had a bit more humility, you know? Yolanda was like, "Here's the first windmill. I blew somebody behind to get my first car back in groceries, you know, selling goats," or whatever. But she's like, "Here's the first nanny that I murdered before I learned that that was wrong and figured out how to take my anger out on horses like normal people." Here's this Hans Christian Andersen fountain. Because of course, was my mother's first boyfriend, you know, something like that. But so, what's funny is, is they're checking in that Annabelle is now, she mumbles something about her. You know, I've got something going on that is upsetting me, and I'm sad because no one's checking in to see why am I sad. And I thought Jules would be that person she was, and I was like, "Oh, don't do that thing. Don't do that past aggressive. Someone asks me what's wrong," because your version of sulking is smiling, and that's not fair. That's tricky to people who are like Jules and were confused by things. What sort of friend doesn't ask you if you'll share your dime bag? What sort of friend doesn't ask you what fashion designers you know who are in trouble? What sort of friend is that? No one is wondering what Anthony thinks of this hotel. I'm sorry, Alexander. Alexander. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. How could I forget Alexander's name for Christ's sake, man? Yes. This hotel reminds me of another hotel I once went to where I once called Alexander and left a voicemail, Alexander. When we first landed in Denmark, there was a McDonald's there, and there was a drag queen eating a McDonald's, and I thought, McQueen, over Alexander. So then after they all changed, you get situated. They all decided to go walking about, and they all exit the hotel, which started this really strange moment where the camera starts on Annabelle sitting outside the hotel, like in the corner, again, doing the, the, the sudden me from her short story. And then the women all just sort of like walk out and ignore her. And some I think see her in a life, whatever. I'm not gonna pay attention to her because she's sulking and some just don't see her. And they walk and they're like, where's Annabelle? And there's like, oh, there she is trailing behind is one of those sort of like passive aggressive trailing me. I'm just here enjoying the wind trailing behind me. It's not even in the picture because it's so far behind where the painter was. I'm an ins, I'm another page you have to buy, and then you just add it a few pages behind the page you didn't get her confused with invisible me, the totally different sides of me. I'm the, it's a bookmark me, and I'm the bookmark, and when you open up the page, I fall out and fall into the floor and you wonder what happened to that bookmark? Oh, well, I'll replace it with a paper clip. So, whilst at the end, they're like, oh, they're like Annabelle, we were just wondering where you were, and she's like, I'm enjoying the air while you're fapping about. They're like, smelling things that the earth has provided us while you're wasting your life away. And then when they're like, and at one point, what's your bun's flamingos? I don't know what's going on. All I know is, I want to have an undramatic weekend at the castle. Well. Yeah. That's hilarious. There's no way you can ask for a weekend at a castle, and there'd be no drama, okay? Maybe if you went to the Holiday Inn, but I like also that they're like, Annabelle, where's your coach? She's like, they're like, aren't you, aren't you gonna wear your coach? She's like, no, I find it really warm, and you know, in this, in this show, that's equivalent of being like, I fucking hate you, you stupid bitch. Or I just did coke in the bathroom, and I'm sweating uncontrollably. And she's always cold, by the way, Annabelle's always the one who's cold, that's what she's just... Yes. Myth warms you up. So, you know, that's not cool to be calling someone who's drunk, I have no evidence for any of this, except my own life, and I'm like, yep, yeah, I've come, the only time you will ever see me complain about not being freakin' cold is after an Adderall telling, or a line in a bathroom at Gay Pride, all right, there are certain times. So then, Caroline Fleming takes him to a statue, and it's like, this statue was my grandfather's grandfather's grandfather's grandfather's grandfather's grandfather's grandfather's grandfather, and he saved the country. This statue is my 90th generation grandfather. I don't know who cares. How lucky are we to still be Danish instead of Swedish? How lucky? And I was like, ugh, it's like, I can't ask, it's cool. You could have had a kia though. Did you invent the L bracket? No. So, no one ever thought of screwing things together with an L-shaped screwdriver before, and you didn't do it. So, sorry that your 10th generation grandfather failed, mmm, sex for you. Although, it's pretty cool that your 10th generation grandfather saved Denmark, because then in the morning, at the office, you'd be eating Swedish's instead of Danish's, so it's pretty cool that we'd call him Danish's. What Shakespeare play is something's rotten in Denmark from, 'cause that's what this episode was called. That was funny. Oh, Shakespeare. Oh. I'm on all back into Brussels. There was something rotten in the state of, state of Juliet. So, um, so then, the next step on the tour, is it their dinner yet? No. Are they eating dinner at your wet dream of a restaurant, by the way? Oh, yeah. Something happened at this, uh, this furrier. So, someone wouldn't go to the furrier. So, Juliet, Juliet didn't want to go to the furrier, because she's not about the fur. So, she was like, fucking shooting ducks last week, but whatever. Yeah. She's like, you know, I think I'm just gonna go to a coffee shop next to her, or I think that's, is that, like, 'cause I'm not really into fur, so I think I mean, yeah. And I want shoots, I mean, no one wears ducks after, you know, it's just gross. And Annabelle is like, well, that's just rude. You were invited, it was a, you know, you were invited to a function at the furrier. Alexander would have gone. He's not alive to go. You should go in his stead. If Alexander invites you to stare at the skins of dead animals, you do it. So it was a stupid thing. So they all went up going to the furrier. And then they try on things that cost $50,000 and look very glamorous. I mean, I guess. Are people still doing that? I cannot believe you can-- Well, I was one of the firsts like that on national TV, and I need your ass beat. In Europe, you probably can. Yeah, that's crazy, 'cause America, we're like, listen, we kill humans, not animals. We're a terrorist if you're cold. Yeah. Don't kill the animals, but make sure I can have my gun. Yeah. So-- Exactly. So yes, as you were saying, then they do wind up at dinner, and it was a wet dream of a restaurant for me. And I love they get there, and Julie's like, oh my God, it's a circular table. This is amazing. And Caroline Flamin' Janos, isn't it just-- [LAUGHTER] It's just, just. How lucky are you? She did say, how lucky are you? I'm not forgetting-- Who did she say that to? She's like, how lucky are we to have a shape that can convey so many things, and it is our table? It's like a conversation in this group, circular, it never goes anywhere. How lucky is this table? Oh, I think it was earlier when Juliet was saying, oh, I'm so excited because I'm getting to go to a place that I've never been before Denmark. How lucky are you? [LAUGHTER] So funny. OK, so they're eating the snotty food, which is-- she's like, all to five things, because even though they cost as much as your first home, you can't eat them the same. All right, darling. So they all order five things, and one of them's like a shaved avocado. It's like an avocado shaved so thinly and laid out like a chevron, and people are like, oh my god, I'm bringing these to America. That's all. Yeah. Avocado, avocado, shapes. That's all. [LAUGHTER] New Thanksgiving tradition. So then-- [LAUGHTER] This means everything to my children. I need avocado shaved into a chevron for Thanksgiving or I'm not-- I'm going to kill myself with the turkey. [LAUGHTER] There we go. [LAUGHTER] So for me, the best part about this was that Caroline Fleming then tells this ridiculous story. She's like, this restaurant does this wonderful off the menu dish that involves cheese and lots of it. And so last time I came here, I said, I'll have the off the menu Fleming cheese dish. And they said, oh, but we're out of Compton. And so then I said, no, don't you realize I'm here. I need to have this dish. The chef says, don't worry about it. And he went to the hotel and bought five kilos of Compton cheese, and he brought it back. And he made it just for me. How lucky am I to have the cheese. Like we all know that the way the story really went down was, I am a Baroness. Get me my five kilos of Compton right now. I want my Compton, and I want it now. Yes. And she tells it like it's just this hilarious. She even ends up by going, hilarious. And is this like story-- and she even said after it, she's like, and then, literally did I know. I'm like, oh, God. It's like she's narrating her own PBS story. So she asked for this cheese to portray. They went down by five kilos, like it's a coke deal, which probably is why the channel is so safe. It's like drug dealers can't get past the cheese people. They're like, they really love their cheese over here. But some bus boy goes and like sells his mother to get this cheese. And then she's like, literally did I know they didn't even have the cheese. Oh, isn't that hilarious? Oh, it's like, oh, look at all the lives that were disrupted for me, me, just a little barrenness who wants her cheese that she requested ahead of time. Thank you. I was cold and they skinned a baby and put it on my hands and I thought, oh, the warmth only later did I find out it was a real baby. This lovely young couple was getting engaged at this table, and they were having such a special moment, but there were no tables for me. So would you believe they actually kicked them out of the table and sent them to McDonald's just for me, hilarious. So she's basically a dick at this point, okay, and everybody around the table knows it. And they're all looking at her like, oh, shit, she's a dick. You know, it's like that moment where you just, it's official, like here she goes. And then she's often telling stories about how cool she is as a barrenness, even though she's famous. It's like, oh, Lordy Lou. And no one can leave because coach doesn't leave until morning. So, so then the thing is this is that Fleming does not, as you mentioned, no drama in the castle tomorrow. So let's air it all out. Anyone has anything to say to my family. So if anyone is feeling things, please do it post avocado chiffron. So nobody has anything to say and it gets to Annabelle and of course he's like, oh, speak up. He's what I got to say. And she's got that by the way, she's got sort of like a hooligan stance going on. She's got like one armor on the back of her chair like, I'll tell you what's going on with me a knife and okay, oh, it's like done, done, done, done, done. Annabelle's got good power and the story that tell good power, God, it's like that. It cuts back to Annabelle after commercial and she's like, all right, you're an asshole. You're a dick. You're a coon. You're a period. You're stupid. You're a flowing anus. She just goes around to Annabelle telling everybody their faults and they're like, oh, yeah, they're like, oh, some powder on your nose, you either have powder on your nose or a white booger hanging out. You decide telling. And meanwhile, so she tells Caroline that, you know, you have to really like be careful when you give your posh put downs. It's not very nice. So then Caroline says actually in a way that was not passive aggressive at all. She's like, oh, well, you know, I have something to say, which is that, you know, sometimes you sort of keep to yourself and you're a little bit like, you sort of separate yourself and you, you know, you shouldn't do that. And then Annabelle's like, oh, oh, I see how it is, doesn't like, doesn't like being told anything about what the truth is about what ourself is, oh, I'll see how it goes. I see. I see. I'm like, no, she was actually giving you constructive criticism in the same tenor that you were. And you're the one who can't deal with it because now you get, you're like licking your lips and getting all feisty and looking like you're ready to get into a good old fashioned snicker snake at the old down the pub. Well, one thing that she should know, knowing Caroline for so long because we've only known her for a few episodes. I mean, really, like 20, 20 episodes or something. And we already know this Caroline. If you comment Caroline with your gun shooting, she will not stand very, yeah, she's ready for you. And she's not going to fight with you. She's going to be so calm that you look like an idiot and you're going to be fumbling in a corner apologizing to your other friend. You know, it's like she's pulling the same thing she pulled when the American girls were going to have this big confrontation. She's like, Oh, darling, you're forgiven. Thank you for the whoopee cushion, whatever that is, you know, I mean, go to somebody an American over there telling just clear. Caroline Stanbury is the neo of passive aggression, you know, she is like the climax of the matrix when that agent is trying to punch her and shoot her and shooting bullets at her and she just stands there calmly and just deflects. Yeah. One of the time everyone, she's in slow motion, quietly deflecting your bullets, moving out the way of your punches while someone else is seriously going at her. And she's not passive, she's not passive aggressive in the traditional sense. She's just both passive and aggressive. So yeah, it's like so passive in the middle of a war. And then in the middle of a pasture, she'll be shooting soldiers in the head, you know, just like. And I feel like she learns things, I love them both. I feel like she learns things like Neo too. She's like, Okay, I need to learn about Kung Fu. All right. She looks at it, gets it uploaded. She's like, I know Kung Fu. Done. In the judgmental haze that she gets into, she learns to get over the judgments and stuff. Like I'm kind of cheerleading her this time because she's they've tried to drag her into a few things and she has been, I mean, that's like exemplary housewives behavior. You can be a bitch, be hilarious, criticize everybody, go broke, but still be the richest and be the biggest like bitch on the show, but everybody loves because like at the end of the day, you're still kind of decent, it's weird. Yeah. And honestly, the truth is she is, she is the one on the show who's actually going through the most because as much as we're cracking all these jokes about like Valentina and Rania and bad news, mom, I mean, her business, she did have 48 employees and it went under on TV and in the tabloids. And we joke about like, Oh, she's this cold and caring bitch, but that's like really not an easy thing to go through. And she's really, she's handling a lot. And you know, the last thing she needs is the stupidity, you know, yeah, but I like that she doesn't ever break down. She's just like so amused when anybody comes at her. She's like, Oh, hilarious, all right, now you can be like the avocado chevron disposable and now gone. Goodbye. Oh, good. Bye. All right, so let's move on to the lads of want Oh, so the big Twitter war anyway, we're over. Yeah, I didn't see that. Yeah, tell me about that. It sure works. I'm going to be pretty simple. It's just basically, you know, post show, griping at each other, but Annabelle's really pissed. And she just poor thing. Like, like I said, her Twitter header is McQueen's best friend and muse. And then her tweets don't really make sense and they're misspelled. And I don't know. She just says, you can't be a bully, darling. You can't have it both ways, darling or whatever. And it's Caroline Sophie Sophie doesn't really fight much though. She's just like, jolly good to see you all later. Stay wealthy. You know, tweet. And then the shot for every time someone sends a tweet, oh well, 20 tweets. And then the gay, I forget his name, Luke with you with you, nutty ladies, please stop fighting your clogging my Twitter timeline. You know, they're all very polite and Caroline's like, darling, you can't say one thing when you mean another ho, ho, ho, ho, they're like, how dare you bully, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, poor, darling, manas, it's like a manners war on Twitter. It's very funny. That's my favorite kind. It's so good. Go go search Annabelle. She's pretty good because they'll give her a good one. You know, Stanford is treating her with kidded gloves because I guess they've known her for a long time. So she's treating her like a crazy monkey in a cage throwing poop, you're like, oh, silly monkeys. You know, she's like, enjoy the poop throwing monkey or whatever and Annabelle's like, oh, yeah, you are your big evil mean bully, bitch, like, oh, no, and it's spelled wrong. It's like bitch is spelled wrong. Oh, no. Yeah. So why don't we move on to blow deck. So my, my disclaimer is that I did not write any notes because I was so, I was so enraptured by what was going on. I actually forgot to write the notes. I was just. Leftovers. What? You were so leftovers. Yes, I was leftovers. Yeah, I was. I. This, this episode from beginning to end was both hilarious and engaging and I, I could not wait to see what happened next. It was, it was really, really great. This shit was hilarious though made, made five, made five. It was so good. And I actually saved it until this morning because I thought, wow, if it's that good, because everybody was saying how good it was. I was like, I need a clear head. And so I got up early and smoked some dope and wanted it when he said, it was so good. Okay. I'm trying to find the notes now. Well, so basically it's, well, while you look up your notes, I'll just go off my memory because it's, it's actually one of these, one of these episodes where there's so many eats of big things that happened that actually was like, well, it's okay. I didn't take notes because there's no need to like harp on every little thing for me. I didn't feel the need to like get every little thing because the big things that happen were so big, there was just like so much to talk about, you know? I did get some really good little things that I think we'll, we'll. I'm glad. Okay. So yeah, I wasn't saying it like, I'm like, it wasn't my, it wasn't my Caroline Stern by way of saying so Roni, ignore your notes, it was just my way of saying I didn't feel bad because there were so many cool, oh, I feel bad, Roni, I always enjoy it in our own ways. I enjoying it by barfing all over a page. I enjoy it by reminiscing with my second think then bar of the podcast. I got two today because I was like, we're going to be recording for so long. I actually went, I got myself a bagel today because I woke up, I was starving and I was like, you know what, I only have two eggs left. And that's not going to be enough to get me through the giant podcast. That's a Cummins. So I got myself a bagel and cream cheese and now I got my second thing. Yeah. So anyway, I just need to write a lot down because I see little things and I really do not remember after like that real house was of Orange County, half those notes, I was like, what was I talking about because that was so many days ago. But this, so the main way this started was just reminding us about the fire thing from last week. But the editors are very, very funny on this show and very tricky, the little things that they throw in. Thank you, Emil Masturbation shot. Thank you lots of underwear shots for the men. But one thing they inserted and they got to it a little bit was they open the oven, there's clearly potatoes and steak in there. Yeah. Then the next time they open it, there's clearly just pans in there. So what's actually burning is the oven. So that's what I wrote down. I was like, mystery solved dirt. Had they not seen the footage? It's obviously the oven. And then earlier they showed what does bun chef opening it and going and it was smoking and he goes, Oh, smokey Robinson over there. So even joked about how dirty it was and then clean it and when Rocky was looking for racks to put into the oven, she's like, this is this is clean. This is clean. This is dirty. This is dirty. So it was like evident. So I don't know, I don't know ovens well enough. There was one time I think in like 2005 when I didn't really know anything about cooking. I did mistake the bottom coil of my electric oven for a rack and I put like a, I did put like a tray, like a sheet baking sheet on there. And it started to like go crazy and it turned all black, et cetera. I can't guarantee that that thing was was clean. But when is it true, will a clean I've started them on fire. Yeah. Clean things. No, a clean oven or like a clean pan. No. Will that catch on fire? No, no, no, no. The thing that catches on fire is when you get like it's it's Greece, but it's also just all the shit all over your oven. That's why you have to like put it in club, I think oven cleaning mode where it's so hot that all that stuff falls off and then you have to like sweep it out, you know, I never cleaned my oven. I've started so many fires because I'll drip cheese into the bottom of the oven and be like, eh, who cares? And then it smells like burnt cheese the next 20 times like cook or whatever. Yeah, I get like little things like I'll be cooking something and like a little bit of smoke will come out because it's like something is clearly burning on the bottom of it. Oh, yeah. I'm a lazy Leon. I'm always like, it'll eventually burn itself like that's that's so many doesn't clean an oven right there. I seem because I am one. So anyway, so it was like this huge fire and everyone's reaction was hilarious. Kate just runs through with her hands semi waving in the air like instincts are telling her to wave her hands for some reason, but she doesn't know why. She's like, ah, and just kind of run through the kitchen, slow, she's like weird. She's like, Yachty's no that when there's smoke, you just flap your hands and you're like, this shit, you just jump overboard, like don't actually make any smoke move around. Just like kind of show that you're moving. You're not dead. Yachty knows other Yachty's aren't dead because they're waving their arms in the smoke. That's how you find other Yachty's Leon didn't wave his hands. And that's why he's dead. We'd left him in the basement and he would see Leon waving his hands. Nope. And he died. So clip of Smokey Robinson. Okay. So everybody's reaction was hilarious. Eddie comes into the kitchen and Eddie has been getting laid. So now he's like cool cop. He's chewing gum, which is weird and his shirt's like kind of unbuttoned. I guess it was late. I don't know. But he just looked like suddenly he's confident cop because he's got pussy on his side now and he's like, he comes in talking like dad. It's like close the door, close the door, close the door, close it right now. You close the door, you close it, you close the door, couldn't get grounded. It's so true. It's funny that he had to tell them to do that. I'm sorry. It's the last bite of the thing thin. It's funny that he had to tell them to close the door. I mean, there was smoke coming out. Well, they don't know what to do. They just go on autopilot. They're like close the door, open the door, open the other door. Okay, okay. Now get a paper towel. It's like, what can you do? There's only so many options in a boat, you know? Violence, Eddie talking to dog, shirt on button, gum in mouth, pussy. My nuts are trying to rebuild. I don't know what that means. Small town cop. Okay. So this is when it turns into cops. Okay. This whole thing was hysterical because it was like a sketch of cops and you've got Eddie it's like fire, fire, Rocky's like, yeah, I saw, you know, because like she came in the kitchen and then she was going to make some popcorn and then like, like she said, and she did it. I started doing it because I remember it because it was like 1202 and I was like, the sun's coming down. And then Leon was like, you're a whore and I'm like, eh, whoa, what? I'm like, ma'am, stick to the facts. It's like, is this the, is this the interrogation that started off like this cop? So it got to the inter it got to law and order later, but right now it's just cops and there's like random white trash, witnesses everywhere like, well, I smelled a fire and then Amy comes down wrapped in a blanket and she's like, I was in bed. I remember because I was laying down and I had to blanket a rammy and I was pretending that pretend Ryan Gosling was kissing me and asked me if I liked his loafers and I said, I love that you can fit a pinion up and then I smelled a fire. Is there a fight? There's a fight. That's when I was like, everyone's giving this witness account. I know. It was so good. I had a dream. I had a dream that fake Ryan Gosling and Starfish and I all went skiing and we're up in the lodge and we're by the fireplace and they were fighting over me and I was like, guys, there's there's enough for me to go around for Starfish and for fake Ryan Gosling and then I was like, oh God, goodness, this fireplace is so hot and the smoke is so real and I woke up. It was real smoke y'all and there was no starfish. It's like, how do all the witnesses feel? And then Kate is so mortified. She's first, she's looking like, oh shit, is this my bad? She gets this look like she's pooping herself and she's looking back and forth from everybody. Like, who's blaming me? You know, like her eyes are darting back and forth. I made a gif. I'll post it soon. So good. And then she's like, fuck it. I can't take it. So she goes up on the desk, the deck, where all the guests are like, oh, is this smell like smoke? What is it? What? Is it fire? Cause it's like smoke. Like, oh, just stupid. And Kate leans, she leans on a thing and she's like, there's no fire. No seriously. There's no fire. Like, no, don't worry, no fire. And she's leaning, Kate would never lean in front of a guest. So it's a strong case on her posture, her posture is weakening, get her off the yacht. She's ruined. Kate, any service and Kate would admit this, I'm sure any service person that was leaning would automatically start cleaning with their fucking elbow because that's how it works. You've got time to lean. You've got time to clean. I mean, what is this? The kosher Concordia? I mean, you got to stand up straight, Kate. Stand up. Kate leaning while she was talking to the guests was like, I don't know, it was like the Titanic. I don't know. It was like watching a nervous breakdown. It was basically we're just watching someone have a nervous breakdown on TV. It's like watching. It's like watching the butler from down Nabi grow up to the dinner table and take a seat. What is happening here? It's hard to think about Nabi spitting in the food or something. She's gone. She's going to be coming at people with a rolling pin scene. It's like Mrs. Padmore serving soup when she wasn't asked to serve soup. Daisy. Daisy. Take the soup of all. Take it myself. Daisy, I'm going to tell you something, girl. You did a good job, and it's like, what's the chef doing just, what's the chef doing serving soup? Well, Robert, sometimes they have to, I appreciate what you're doing, Mrs. Padmore. Thank you. So, yeah, that's basically what happened. Someone thanked a service in this home that when we were going broke, done, done, done. By the way, every single crew member, except for Emil, because he was passed out, but everyone except Leon and Emil, got up to be like, what's going on? Leon, just like whatever, he like checks his wash. He's like, oh, I'm not good enough. Yeah, he's like, I'm tired. Smells like one of the kids is starting something on fire, haven't killed me yet, good night. Well, he's the classic workplace guy. We've all seen him. Whether it's a yacht, whether it's a corporate office, who is like, I'm going to do my own thing, and I'm going to let other people hang themselves. That's exactly it. We've all encountered those people. Yeah. And that's exactly what he just did. But he didn't. But he didn't. There was that, and if they're in trouble for it, because they suck at their job and their women. Yeah. Exactly. Another thing I said last week was that divorced ass or what, no wonder you're divorced. He's not divorced. He's got a freaking wife. I just assumed that someone would have divorced him. I mean, he doesn't. How is he married? Oh my God. I know. If he's married and he's still like this, like, got a wife who loves him and stuff, imagine what she divorces him. He's going to be like three times as bad. He'll sink the toy tonic. Well, maybe he's, uh, much, much, much, much, much as I'm by proxy. He's just feeding her beef cheeks till she gets sick and she needs him. I can't get out of bed too many beef cheeks. It turns out too many beef cheeks calls intestinal, gastrointestinal, fire that kill women. Who knew? Or is it Wikipedia? I mean, I have much as him by proxy at this point from all those beef cheeks. It's almost as bad as Jamie with the scallops on Top Chef. I have much used by proxy because you ate a thin thin, I think, so Rocky was almost it's hilarious in this too because she was immediately doing the talking to her invisible parents who weren't there i mean you take the pants out of the other and like who does that okay this is case wasn't me it wasn't me i want to say i think yes but here's the thing okay uh... logic dictates that you do take hands out of a out of an oven but what if you're not at what if you're not a chef and you're not the one using that of an all the time and someone said you need to preheat the up we need to like make a pizza so you just press preheat because you don't know that the chef stores things in there and honestly it's like it's not i don't know if it's a protocol or not but what i'm saying is i don't think it's all in like you do that when you're saving space in your house which i guess you'd have to want to vote as well but surely they have cabinets for the pants he's doing that to just have them there so he doesn't have to do exactly like i know i've i've been a people's house before we're preheated and i've been and they're like wait there's a pan in there and uh... i know people use ovens for storage but i don't think it's necessarily the norm and i don't think it should be expected that you have to like make sure there are no pants there before you start up an oven in all that thing i just did but cate use the cake in my opinion you should but cate doesn't know about eating she said like she said like she doesn't use ovens and she only have to use the oven at all because the fucking chef was sleeping on his fat ass i just yeah i just don't think that it could be has weren't on fire anyway the actual oven was so i was making this all about leaving pants in the fire but the pants didn't cause the fire or no because the pan no while she said the pan was directly on that the element but either way yeah but it wasn't on fire we saw a fire it was on the pans it wasn't the pan you're at the bottom of the oven so fuck her stupid bitch that's a kind of girl who's always trying to get someone in trouble with the tactile tale that's a total lie anyway like if you hate kate you have reason i guess cuz she would like made you work and that must have been awful for you like if you hate her cool then hate her for that but don't just make up shit to try and take her down like if she's so good that you have to make shit up then get out of the kitchen anyway did they have like any culinary rules is there no rating like in a restaurant like you have to go to get certified to be serving people you can't and it's not it's also not summer camp by the way it's not like this thing where you come on the yacht and you have your choice of activities that you get to do like a choice of chores around the yacht that you get to do and then if you get if kate tells you to do something that's like really not cool because that's not what this vibe is about kids your boss if you tell you to do something you have to do it i mean kate is ornery as fuck I mean that's why we love her but she's still your boss and she's is on the show last year so you sort of should know what you were getting involved with so really is that employee that takes everything so personally yeah she's the only one who had to marry a couple of catch-ups you know I'm like fucking shut up and pour the catch up into the catch up be quiet yes it's probably fired yes we're gonna kill people and yes I'm a fucking bitch for not hugging you first but you still have to do it you know you're not by the way wait or at Applebee's batch and by the way as evidence of the fact that she doesn't even seem to realize like how good of how helpful not helpful with boss but like how what she can learn from Kate at the beginning of the season kids like okay go do laundry in Iraq it's like I want to do laundry and kids like every yacht he loves doing laundry because you can get away from everyone in the laundry room cut to like five or six episodes later Iraq he's like I want to go do laundry so I can get away from everyone it's like yeah guess who taught you that you're so stupid stupid rocky so stupid she's just a little bitch like she doesn't want to do her job she wants just every image or she okay so we'll get to that part so there's a lot that happens we don't have to go through each thing but that was basically the major drama of the thing was this oh my god we almost got burned to the ground and the chef's like here's one thing you don't want when you're the captain of a boat to hear that there's a fire on the boat or that the boat sinking or the other one didn't get the anchor right or just general rules being broken terrible for a boat it's like don't do here's one here's another thing here's another thing that I hate hearing as a captain of the boat learning that they've discontinued one way tickets now it's only round trip don't know what I'm gonna do now we could use it for a new cast members but then they'll be stuck here and have no way to get home here's rules even a captain disagrees with the rules sometimes huh dear Southwest Airlines I don't believe in apologies but I'll tell you this much you got rules and I'm listening love sincerely the captain dear Southwest Airlines used to be my favorite airline because you only flew to the south into the West's but now I hear you got planes up in the north and the east and the every direction I don't know breaking your own rules don't like it Southwest Airlines you've confused Rocky with your maps so please she doesn't know whether she's going southeast north or west make up your mind Southwest I got a crazy girl on deck here thanks mood sweaty feet so everybody's like has this huge drum oh someone asked me why I call Eddie Alex P. Keaton because from the show family ties Alex is like the really conservative always really one and Mallory is like the M.A. chair when he doesn't have any rolls he's like Mallory follow the rules you have to be home at 10 that's why and they all at least you have the same not the same miracle they had that preppy they both have that preppy in his look yeah they have like super conservative politician hair yeah that part little kid hair or like yeah little kid at church here anyway that's why so so then everything is okay nothing burned down so I think then the next day then the shark the shark dive is cleared they can do they know shark diving so the guys I'll go off to go shark diving and the the two women who are left over Connie takes them to go have some bloody Mary's right am I getting this right yeah so and then that's time for the interrogations yes so they do this one-on-one interrogation where the captain brings everybody out into the captain room whatever that is there this is where the wheel is it's an important place so they all go up there one by one saw that I can't lie if they are there one by well whatever so he also has like a little note taker they have like a quarter-quarter hilarious in a tiny little tiny little notebook with this yeah okay I think he's able to stand yeah one 10 a.m. someone was hungry for pop corn it's like at 107 p.m. I said wow that popcorn should be up soon sir so I went down the stairs at 108.20 I arrived into the kitchen at would you or did you not make popcorn did you or did you not know that popcorn needs to be cooked by sound you cannot count on instructions on the back of a popcorn did you or did you not check for pans at the bottom of the phone booth by the best part that's by the way for those of you listening for the first time that's our impersonation of cereal so Kate was doing a full-on and then at 102 a.m. I saw Rocky and thought that she possibly smelled like cat poop or old cheese but then decided to disregard it I saw what I at 103 p.m. I saw what looked like a rabbit otter scarring about the bridge and it turns out it was just Rocky gallivanting about at 109.10 I was walking down the hallway and thought we were not someone was being strangled but it turned out to be a meal masturbating for the ninth time in a row at 110 p.m. I almost called Environmental Protection Agency because I thought I saw a walrus on board but it was just Leon in his bed sleeping I almost at 1.13 11 p.m. I was about to call the police because I thought an animal was being molested but then I realized that Amy was just making out with a starfish walk to the kitchen and then Rocky stories like and then like people were starving because Kate's mean and she's a bitch and she won't feed them so I was like maybe you'd like popcorn so Kate was like I'll do it so then she like started the microwave for 30 minutes because she knew it would try and kill the boat and then she wanted everyone in the boat dead and then she said all a back bar and then she turned on a stove and left it yeah she's such a fucking and then she's like and then she made me iron I just think that's I said and Captain Lee's like you know Captain Lee loves Kate because Kate is she follows the rules and she is a stickler for the rules that's exactly what Captain Lee loves you're never gonna win with with Captain Lee making you have to have some all that's like a huge don't know but Rocky you know like in her defense I've said it as many times but I think she's like 19 yeah I feel weird even getting on her because it's I feel like Megan trying to parent you know some kid that's already grown up but not enough yeah like there's only so much you can do like that's like literally crying over milk that already went through puberty in the spilled on the table like it's still gonna you can clean it up but it's still gonna have pubic hair even on the paper towel you know what I mean mm-hmm okay so yeah just but yeah Rocky's a bitch and then turns it around into yeah and here's something else case me she's a bitch she was a mean to the chef and he's really talented like me because I like cooking and like everybody's mean and she's very like cartman-y and yeah the captain like well I'll tell you one thing I don't like poison the other thing people complaining okay things like hey third thing I don't like letting the line go before the jet skis are out hate that fourth thing most important sacks hate them never gonna wear them it's not the rule book either way so you know uh-huh walking the line that one with facts that's right so yeah everybody's freaking out and they and then at the end of it the captain goes well yeah you know well here's what I learned Rockies and maybe it Kate probably got drunk on France yeah oh no we didn't even talk about that's gonna say so then everything is lining up with the stories and the last person in is Leon so Leon gets called up because everyone gets called up and Leon has arms on the back of the sofa put his leg up under spread lagged he has a real puss on his face and he's already very defensive he's already making remarks me like I don't know what I have to do here I wasn't there I don't know what I wasn't there I wasn't there I mean it was he wasn't there but the way he was being actually made him sound so guilty you know like well I was there I didn't do it and he gave a big roll eye or eye roll when the captain said what do you think about the fire almost killing children and he was like like he rolled his eyes like how about why are you asking me I was there oh yeah I wasn't wasn't involved with me I don't know all I know is that Kate put a pizza in there and she was drinking and she drinks a lot on the job I see her drinking all the time which was so slimy yeah whatever I mean but she's still your friend here will know well then who cares I mean come on yeah did she still your Jack Daniels cuz that's an offense but otherwise just drinking I mean Jesus Christ she's worked on a yacht her entire adult life what do you think she's gonna do man yeah I mean the captain Lee was right when he he said you know a chef should be concerned about the fact that there was a fire in his gal he should be concerned about the entire situation and said Leon's attitude was it wasn't my fault I wasn't there and then and being super shady about basically saying that Kate drinks in the job it was really bad start on fire because of Kate's alcoholism was her alcoholism flammable that's what I'm asking you okay then just clean the oven bye yeah and so Leon did get that attitude so you know a couple times I said he's so sexist because he would never talk like that to a man he did retain some respect with the captain but he still did get that overly aggressive like well what are you gonna do he's like well I'm asking you in here to see what you're gonna do he's like well it's up to you I mean Kate's an awful human being and I hope she dies alone he's like all right well I guess that means that I think you should be getting a job back on the Walmart cruise which leaves in two hours out of the port of firm upside down okay so yeah well you know the thing is Leon probably could have saved his job if you wanted to you probably could have said well you know what I'm going to make a concerted effort to really make sure this doesn't happen again and that you know Kate and I you know I have to make a be good he could have said any sort of bullshit and and Captain Lee would have would have kept on on board but he just was like you know whatever you want to do I don't care you know it was it was so cocky and arrogant and dismissive and really awful I was really happy to see Captain Lee fire him and he's and he fired him even nicely he was like well I don't think we can have you on board here but you know what finish out tonight on a on a strongly and then you know better and then he's like yeah I'm gonna leave right now well Leon forced his hand so he made him decide right then and there he wasn't gonna take like a sleep on it and let's talk about this later and feel better and let's all get along because they've already had that and so Leon was basically like bitch you are not keeping me for one last dinner and a lunch and then firing me tomorrow and so he knew and left but you know the guy didn't fight for his job a guy like Leon is not gonna fight the the guy's gonna fight over passing the man ace that's it like he's not gonna fight over a job because that means he has to do something if there's a job that expects Leon to get the fuck out of bed most chefs would be mortified that someone was even cooking a frozen pizza to please their guests on a boat where they're supposed to be having this culinary experience like you let them eat a tombstone just fucking get out of here yeah so so Leon leads right then and there and then that's when this episode which was already pretty like really good you with all this interrogations and he said and she said in whose fault was it blah blah blah it was already really good that's when this this episode went truly off the rails in the best way because Leon left the and the boat went into like a tizzy because the people were going to be coming back from their shark adventure then there need to be lunch there was no chef and Rocky then has a meltdown Rocky's like what the young's going and then she's like I can't take it I can't take it like she's like this is awful she takes off all her clothes takes off her mic she dives into the ocean and she swims to another boat it's like what the fuck is happening and meanwhile the other the women with the bloody marries are on the way back they're drunk and they're writhing around on Connie's boat it is such a disaster and I was like what is happening she's going she's jumping oh she jumped oh god she jumped off the bow she says correct and then she goes into her into her speaker thing she's like she's not she forgot to wear her mermaid tail yeah yeah that was the best cable always but a little uh her mermaid tail unless I forgot her mermaid tail so good she made it as dramatic as everybody else's stupid thing she's like normally I would be totally mad that someone's such an idiot but in this case with the possibility of drowning I thought yay under the sea that's where she'll be like one of those pop-up birthday cars but instead of like a really cute cutout picture popping up it's just a look of disappointment yeah at all times your mother regrets you she's like hmm you're dumb you're dumb so captain and connie anchor show a meal oh connie anchor drama skip when he yeah the anchor drama is like whatever because yeah they were she did the anchor how it could be Keaton she's gonna get to do the anchor alone I'm so proud of her it's like a dad moment I might be a dad soon and you know friend he does have my baby it'll come out naked and covered in goop and proud of it just like connie oh by the way one thing I forgot to say is that when captain lee fired leon and then uh and leon left the room it was a total apprentice moment which is why I tweeted that like captain lee should be the new you know apprentice guy because he's like oh well I had to do it she forced my hand and then and eddy was like oh absolutely you did you had to do it you it was you had no choice he's like well I you know I didn't want to fire me so you're like oh great guy great guy and I had to go over there in the corner like pretending to take notes in a time he had a look she's like well I finished this with my quill pin thank you yeah it was exact it was exactly like Trump after you know every time after Trump would fire someone you know where this georgia caroline or vodka or dip the suns it's like oh yeah no you did the right thing absolutely on if uh you know I ask you to make a product it's gonna support aids and you come back with a twisted frozen yogurt that makes no sense what are we telling people with aids you're fired you forced my hand and he's like all right thank you then thank you it's been wonderful what a wonderful opportunity you're a great man get out so um so then so rocky yogurt who thinks of that beef beans last year he had a beef cheeks nail polish color wouldn't it yet get him out of here i was like a fake secretary sitting by the elevator want to sign out and put your phone number next to your name okay then bye by now bye would you like a sucking candy i've got a bowl of them right here dollar rancher no i'm you'll may be on his way out but i don't want to be me there's a chance he could invite me to dinner one day so so anyway so captain Lee buys the guys um though everyone buys them lunch on the island and he basically has Amy go with them and Amy's job is just to get them as drunk as possible so they don't realize all the disaster that's happening on the boat and they're calling they're trying to get replacements etc um they don't know what to do and and i think is around this time that rocky comes back let me tell you you're not going to worry about fires on a boat once you've seen a grown woman in plastic hair making out with a starfish anything i'll take their mind off of it it's Amy that's our girl Amy you're welcome captain i'm just honored to have the honor i'm just honored to have pretend friends for the afternoon and then Amy at the bar they're getting wasted and she's like is he teasing for another shot i think they need to get real shotted i have to maybe it's teasing do you want to marry me why are you running okay get him more shots chasing tie him down so good Amy so cute okay so yeah so they're getting them wasted and then they come back to the boat early probably because they're so wasted they've got a barf so they start coming back and everyone's freaking out because there's no dinner there's no dinner yeah the no chef kate has immediately since she's not under tv contract with the other boat the other boat was like a crazy bipolar fucking psychopath has just arrived on our boat please come get her so the navy has to like fly in and get her off that boat and return her immediately as someone calls her like uh we've got your crazy bitch on uh on this dinghy here okay all right well bring her up kani you're good with the ink or bring her up bring up the ball and chain that is rocky's craziness so she comes back and then she calls her parents and she's like i can't do this and no one's oh no what am i saying kate's a bitch and then i jumped in the water and her parents like oh no rocky no rocky just please keep a job like no no one likes me and her mom they even put a screenshot where they wrote the word they transcribed it and or captioned it and the mom goes well win the battle but win the war and i was like that's why she's an idiot like you need to learn that phrase because she's trying to win battles and wars and she's losing them all like yeah you know bad phrases lead to bad children that's right bad bad children bad children so she decides to pull it together and to become the chef she's like wait a second this is my opportunity because mom i like i'm a chef like oh god and by the way and somewhere in the middle here she gets into a fight with kate it may have been before she jumped off the boat but she was like she just started snapping at kate and kate's like she was she said something like kate i think you should have some more respect for the people on the screen uh and kate's like well rocky i think you should have respect for the fact that i've worked where i am right now and if you have any problems with it like whatever you know it was just i'm not doing justice but kate was going off well rocky was going off because somehow she's best friends with the chef which i've never even understood but she's like if he goes i go it's like wow uh the girl who like refused to work until after five temper tantrums and then like insists on people making people watch like really bad fiddler on the roof reenactments in like ten-year-olds mermaids tales oh we're so sad she's like i'm leaving that's it but she's doing it in this way where she's whispering she's like listen Amy and Alex P Keaton i'm out and that's my decision okay i'm sorry it's like really then why are you afraid of the captain hearing you bitch please girl please so she's trying to act all tough and she says well i i can do this chef part and do you want my help and so of course kate's like yes go ahead it'll be wonder it'll be terrible to lose a guest to food poisoning but it'll be wonderful to see you want or just the new black because they need a new crazy have fun bitch so then rocky starts you know she keeps saying she went to culinary school i don't know where she went or what sort of grades she got in that school or how long she went because you know that bitch she's had 20 careers by the time she's 19 that bitch probably went for like two days she probably doesn't even she's probably learned a rue and that's it yeah so she makes she's making like some vegetable thing with like a with like a schmear of puree and some architectural kind of things happening or things sticking up etc and then she crumbles aureas into it because i think she wants like the color or the texture it is totally bonkers she's called them coco nibs oh yeah she wants you she says normally she uses coco nibs oh my god to make matters worse before this thing even goes out she serves up oysters and she makes a minionette with grenadine i mean i can't even first of all it looked terrible it looked like a bloody oyster it looked like someone it looked like it looked like a period yeah exactly this oyster is ripe it has just had its period enjoy you are now eating a woman oyster enjoy guys disgusting and you know you know at the very just just serve the oyster you don't even need to put him in your net or with cocktail sauce it's fine these people they don't care i'm so embarrassed for the rich people on this show because they're just trying to be gracious you know they're like this food is all amazing it's like bitch you just ate an Oreo salad you are going to feel so stupid tomorrow so then yeah so then after the oyster course the the patriarch immediately just goes to the bathroom pukes his brains out which may have had something to do with all the booze he had been drinking but i think it's like was it oysters okay someone go in there and smell the barf and tell me if it smells like oysters and if so take a dab of it on a q-tip thank you oh my god Kate was probably loving it being like sorry oh oh they're throwing up because of your food oh sweetheart like yeah it sucks that half the customers are probably gonna die but you know it's better not having Leon here we could actually get a boat big enough to bring Walmart here and empty the snack bar into their mouths and it would still be better than his food and so then Eddie he was like you know what like fuck this because rock it's been like five hours and Rocky's still making her little stone hinge out of cucumbers and so Eddie just like whatever we got started searing stuff and he just you know chops up the steak he sears it etc he basically makes steaks just basic steaks guess love it like this is just so wonderful rocky is mad and Rocky is now starting to go through this thing where she's like you know Eddie like you know i can't believe that he's not standing up for me i can't believe he's not standing up for Leon he's taking Kate's side uh and Eddie is having one of these moments where he's thinking i can't believe i hooked up with this crazy bitch i am so fucked he starts texting his girlfriend back at home tension everyone you're fucking a guy who's insisting on doing you in a room that's used to wash you off of other people that's a bad sign hmm all right yeah he's like let's do it in a mop bucket so i don't leave it any of your stain on me yeah so they had that so of course they had to replace him uh what's his bun so they bring back in the animaniac bin he's like oh he's like comes out of the water brother the Warner Brothers water tower he's like hello this i need they're crazy they roll a little lazy well he's not lazy but i don't know it's a quick rhyme bin he's like hello mate yeah he was like oh good to see everyone with his cockney chimney sweep accent right now i know he's like hello everybody brother he's good to play a game it's my bin i'll just go here off the crazy boat and i'll do another crazy boat mmm like what's his mouth into this crazy laugh i was like i love me some bin mister and everyone's and everyone's like so happy they're like yay Ben's bag we love Ben i'm like yeah we love Ben too but you remember that he's just as like a crazy as Leon right you remember that like he's such a perfectionist that meals always come out two hours late remember that yeah but you know what he made Kate so much better actually smile like her vagina smiled on national television he's like yeah big cake well he'd be behaving a little bone action oh you know what i mean like what a proof laugh is and then they showed him talking to Kate who put on like uh she was doing like her microsoft word upkeep or whatever she's like oh just the leading old files and uh she put on like her pretty pashimina type thing yeah like a little barrette i was like oh vagina smile we'll say everybody and then of course they're like okay you gotta meet this crazy bitch rocky and rocky is like locked in her room because she can't believe that she wasn't asked to be the chef she's like they didn't even offer i know she was literally upset about that then one other chef who would have Oreos on the salad one so she's an idiot so she's locked in the room and she's smelled a new dick in the house because you know rocky she's like new dick in town bonjour bonjour bonjour bonjour there is a penis attached to test tacos i'm gonna got it on my throat so she like senses a man and of course is the first girl in town to be on it and makes a big production out of coming out of her room with like a show girl leg kick and a backwards walk and then a full-on crazy i'm rocky yeah it's gonna be it's gonna be a fun few episodes as the season wraps up that's for sure rocky is really trying to get that it's like is there any dick you have not but your hand around get your hand off everybody's dicks just because you're the fattest lady in the office doesn't mean you're the first one to choose a cookie bitch back down okay this is for everybody who works here yeah yeah so that leaves us with jersey uh okay let me give everybody a huge spoiler alert on jersey terese is in jail and calls a lot and goes to a lot of exercise classes joe doesn't even know what he did wrong because he's so stupid and this is all affecting melissa yeah the entire episode is melissa like i just you know i feel bad i want to visit her but she won't put me on the list well i hope to reset you know because you have a lot of time to think when you're in jail and i hope that she actually does think and realizes that you know like family is better than jail right am i right i like i like how when uh joe gorga goes and visits tressa in jail finally and he's talking about he's like no you look they have earned there she's like they they put it back there like she's a chained animal i'm like you remember that like just like 10 minutes go on the show they showed footage of her flipping a table i mean she is a chained animal she's an animal he's so stupid so him and Melissa are trying to pretend at least joe's somewhat honest you know joe joe gorga's like yeah well look i'll be honest with you the terese that's in there i don't miss her she's a bitch i miss the old terese who wasn't obsessed with money and fame and of course i'm thinking who married a fame whore who tricked her way onto the show just to get back at the system i mean so gross anyway but he at least is self-aware to say that and not kiss her ass the whole time but when he went to the jail and he's like at first you know you go in and i look around and i'm like whoa it doesn't even look like a jail it's like a waiting room this MTV is on the wall and then millennia goes turn to the left and then i turn to the left and that's when there's a win it looked like jail it's like whoa really like see you saw jail and you cried do you have a television have you never seen a and it's damn-based Martha Stewart jail give me a break yeah it was such a worth around and saw like the old days of alcatraz you know people like being hung by their toenails or whatever get out of here it was it was a worthless coda to a worthless trio of episodes it was just all stupid like we're tuning in to watch Teresa report about the dildos she's seen in jail i you know i mean Melania has chainsaw what a surprise we knew that i was gonna happen someday the only thing that was the only thing the only bright spot in all of this is that uh Gabriela has emerged as like the angel that we always knew she was because she was always quiet so we knew that she was probably the good one and she does the laundry she takes care of everyone else listen we know the rest are all stressed before and angels are great but this is an angel with Windex in her hand and she is ready to clean a window and that is the kind of angel that i'm down with you know that girl will actually work she's like okay i've kept the whole house together and she is like yeah oh joe telling jia they got in like a little Tiffany's like yeah no you don't do nothing you just want to go out with your friends i'm like oh my god telling a woman telling a child who's raising your other children for you because you don't even know he had lunch with the lawyer this was the best because you know my whole thing of this is my favorite part of all of this is the lawyer's feelings so they go to lunch at somewhere on the outside looks like the breaking bad lawyer office in the strip mall i'm like please let it be that but it's not it's the same restaurant where Teresa flipped the table and joe's like yeah haven't been he since you know what so so so what who cares Teresa flipped the table so yeah some memories yeah huh and uh he has this moment with a lawyer where the lawyer is like how do you feel joke how do you feel joke and he's like yeah well you know i learned a lot like i don't even know what i did wrong but you know like i learned like well you know mortgages whatever like not to you know like whatever don't do it again because like i learned a lesson like whatever it is that i did like yeah there's a good lesson show yeah yeah it's great lesson it's over it thank god Teresa literate and that's someone raking i'm so sorry watch the second i press stop it's all going to stop it's like windowsill now's the gardener it's like it's like a team of our freighters out there telling it's like multiplicity starting our friend maybe it's a sign that we should end let's do it i think jersey is a general sign that the world means to so thank you everybody so much for joining us for an almost three effing hour long two minutes and 52 we're at right now it's our longest of all time you know that oh i believe it and that was cutting out the jurors to think thins a pot of coffee later and we're done so thank you so much for everybody who's even still here and hasn't like died of uh sleep thank you thank you thank you love you thank come to patreon.com/watchwickcrapins come to facebook.com/watchwickcrapins watchwickcrapins.com it's cesara we're gonna stop talking for a while guys love you love you happy Halloween happy howlers if you like watchwick crapins you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on apple podcast prime members can listen ad-free on amazon music before you go tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at Wondery.com/survey. I'm Lindsey Graham host a Wondery show american scandal we bring to life some of the biggest controversies in u.s history presidential lies environmental disasters corporate fraud in our latest series entrepreneur Lou Perlman becomes the mastermind behind two of the biggest pop groups in the world the backstreet boys and in sync. He also oversees a sprawling business empire that includes a charter jet company restaurants and real estate but Perlman's successful facade crumbles after he sued by the boy bands for siphoning millions from them and soon investigators discover that Perlman is keeping his empire afloat through an even more devious scheme follow american scandal on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts experience all episodes ad-free and be the first to binge the newest seasons only on Wondery Plus you can join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app Apple Podcast or Spotify. Start your free trial today.
