Audible's best of 2024 picks are here. From memoirs and sci-fi to mysteries and thrillers, Audible's curated list in every category is the best way to hear 2024's best in audio entertainment. Like a stunning new full cast production of George Orwell's 1984. And first of all, Everett's brilliantly subversive James. Audible, there's more to imagine when you listen. I actually am really excited to hear George Orwell's 1984 again, because last time I read that was back in, I don't know, middle school or something like that. And the world has changed so much with technology and everything like that. I feel like now is the perfect time to revisit and listen to it on Audible. Especially when it's told by a full cast like that, like it's a full production, it's going to be like a radio play, you know? That's major. Go to Audible.com/crapins and discover all the years best waiting for you. That's Audible.com/crapins. Is it just me or is TV gotten really complicated? Thankfully, Fylo has changed that for me. One service, all the stuff I need. Fylo's got current seasons of the shows I can't miss. Live on networks like A&E, Paramount, Discovery and TLC. Classics like The Office, Martin and Friends that I never get sick of, and all the incredible originals on AMC+ from Mad Men Hello to Orphan Black. And don't forget their library of more than 75,000 movies and shows, all of which I can save and re-watch anytime for a whole year. Never miss a minute of shows like The Golden Girls. You know I'm always watching The Golden Girls and Fylo has it. Best of all, with Fylo, you get all of this for just $28 a month. No contract, no hassles. Just one subscription and a world of entertainment. So go to Fylo.tv and check it out for a free seven-day trial. That's P-H-I-L-O dot TV to start watching. Watch what Crapins would like to thank its premium subscribers, Jessica Halford Porter, Kristi Doherty and Claudia Catalina. We love you girls. Now on with the show. [Music] Hello everyone and welcome to the Watch what Crapins podcast. The podcast about all that crap we live to talk about on the bobs. I'm Ronnie Caron from Trash Talk TV and as usual I'm with the thin that's all you need to know. Ben Mandelker. Hi Ben. Hi Ronnie. How are you? I'm great. Thanks. How are you? Oh I'm great. It's a sunny day. There's some clouds out there. It's just looking promising. The drought's going to end soon. Soon, soon. The drought will end soon but until then I'm just going to use lots of water on spec. Until then. Blame agriculture. Blame agriculture. I blame agriculture for everything. Everything. Blame the rest of the world. So Congress created Dust Bowl. Thank you everybody for listening to the Watch what Crapins podcast. Today is all about real hot. I mean ladies of London. No real housewives. I know I keep thinking ladies of London real housewives of all people over the boat people bridge and Juliet's house. Poor neighborhoods you've never heard of in London. Real housewives of Mappetin. Real housewives of the Mappetin Cafe. Real housewives of the Projecting and Death and Shropshire. You guys can find us on Watch what Crapins dot com. We're working on it right now so it looks ghetto but there's still links for all of our social etc. It's going to look better. We spoke to Cousin Rafe and he gave us a lot of good tips and it's going to be a hugely operational site soon enough. Bad news mom non-de-employees are having trouble picking your wordpress me and you. Tim's broken man. Kill wordpress. Okay so you can go there. Also come to our Facebook page Facebook dot com slash Watch what Crapins and that's where you can talk to us and everybody else who's listening and watching all of this crap with us. There's live show threads and all that good stuff. We hit 5,000 people. We hit 5,000 likes. We hit 5,000. We did it. We're halfway to 10,000. Yeah and thank you Sydney Charlotte who's over there putting it on her Facebook. She's like these guys need more likes. Yeah as everybody who listens to Watch what Crapins knows your friends don't know what the hell you're talking about okay. We're on Watch what Crapins and our friends don't know what that or my friends don't know what the hell I'm talking about. I constantly walk around talking in a terrible Australian accent and saying things like David. David where you going David? And no one gets it but I don't care. Keep it. Keep the flame alive. Yeah. Also last thing come to our patreon.com and thank you to all our Patreon subscribers because they at is where you subscribe to the bonus episodes which have become a new little monster of their own and they're so fun to do. They are our little monster. That's what we also call Juliet. And you can find all the bonus episodes there as well as subscriber ringtones. Valentina, Valentina, Valentina, donk, donk, donk. If you need that as your ring go there and we're having our subscriber Google hangout next day. Yeah and I think that's good and that's it. So thank you everybody for supporting and thank you for being here because this means I get to sit in a couch desk with a large jug of water and some marijuana and talk about some brava with bean. That's I mean that is the dream right there. Pretty much. Although I had a secondary dream just yesterday, we talked about this on Monday or Tuesday's episode that I was going on to Amy Phillips's serious XM show and you will be going on I believe next week. Well so now I have been on. I've been on. And tell me everything. So fun. First of all I mean Amy is great. Just you know I just love. I know I was going to say she's terrible right. I know she's a bitch. She's so nasty. She's so unrelatable. No she's so fun. She's so great and it was cool too because it was a professionally produced show and it felt nice to have like people you know sort of managing us as opposed to like this like the Wild West of our podcast which is also super fun. I don't know what you mean Ben. I just bought a dollar in Skype credit. So it was actually kind of liberating not feeling the pressure to be funny every 30 seconds and and do crazy accents. But that being said. What does that mean? What does that mean? What else did you do? Did you play games? What else did you do? Well actually it was really cool. Heather Dubrow called in and she called in and you know I I was you know I was the guest. So I was I was second fiddle. So I didn't really participate in the interview. I did get to ask one question. A really pressing question that's been on my mind for four years which is Heather Dubrow did we go the same thing God growing up and the answer is no. So that was solved. There were a lot of people from Chappaqua, her hometown who went to my synagogue. So I thought wouldn't that be funny if she went to Betora? But no she went to Temple Bethel. Well that's kind of like a silent war in the Jewish community. Woring temples you know. Yeah there's some real temple on temple hate. So there's a silent competition. So then Heather Heather told a story on the episode. So she was talking about Vicky etc. I forget what the original question was. But basically Heather's you know Vicky's went on to watch what happens and said that no one's reached out to her. You know that's Vicky's new thing like what about me? What about me? I lost my mom and a partner and no one you know no one's counting. I've lost the most this year. It's like a monopoly game you know but like who cannot collect as many daily deaths. Exact she's like I can't find my bed bath and beyond thing. What about me? No one's checking on me. I've had my chance to send off coupon to the bed bath. No one's called me. I mean no one knows. I don't have a new carpet in my bathroom. Who knows? Nobody because they don't count. I went to McDonald's at 4 p.m. and try to ask get a McRiddle. It's not under all day breakfast menu. What about me? What about me? No one does what I'm doing. All day still sad with no cows. That's the all day menu at Vicky Donald's. Anytime of the day you can come back and give a dollar and just not pay attention to me. It's what everyone else does. I wish I knew what a happy meal is but no one even checks on me. So it's more just like a sad meal. I want a hug meal. You want a number one which is an ignore Vicky with a side of tell everyone she's lying about someone else's cancer? Okay. That'll be 10 minutes. Oh you're leaving? Okay. Bye. Do you have any do you have any Dr. Pepper? I don't know. I don't have proof that I have Dr. Pepper. I don't have Dr. Pepper. I don't know. I wasn't there. I was in Oklahoma. I don't know if Pepper's a doctor. I'm not supposed to know. I don't know. I mean he told Brooks he a cancer of Adam but that's all I know about. Dr. Pepper. I got emails when I was at my place of work. You know my job and someone told me that they went to chemo. So there you go. I believed him. What am I going to investigate? You know we're not out detectives. I have a job. Get a job. I don't know if I'm loving it. Do you know how many unsolved murders there would be in Capit Cove? If Jessica Fletcher had just got a job writing it's not a job. That's what I always tell the hamburger. Get a job. Stop stealing the burgers. Get a job and you can buy all the burgers you want. Simple as that. Just say no to stripes. Anyway I'm running for Mayor McCheese. So vote for me Vicky McDonald's. That hamburger needs to cut out in the front of his shirt. I had that hamburger suit first and I look better on it. So what happened? So you guys didn't have to talk the whole time. Like she had little segments and stuff or what? She had segments. But anyway what happened in this one we talked about the fact that Heather I mean that Vicky said that no one's reached out to her. So Heather tells us she's like you know what like you know I like Vicky. We've never been particularly close but I like her and she was in New York and I decided to send her text saying hey have fun in New York. That's what she did. And Vicky wrote text to her back like oh thanks so I'm having so much fun. It's so great. It was like a nice text exchange. And then that night Vicky went on TV and said no one's reached out to me. So Heather was really mad and she said well whatever chance that Vicky has of having a friend is gone now. Like whatever shred was left is gone now. She burned that. What? Well okay that's true. And now radar online has taken it. I guess that radar in mind will take a puddle on the street. They'll be like we have a psychic read a puddle on the street and Vicky is a man. Okay click on this ad and then watch this video of an ad. Well V now this whole story is coming out that well now they're now they're telling it's spinning a story that Vicky has no more friends and then Heather was her last chance and she just had her and she was lying at us. So I feel very honored that I was at ground zero of that story breaking. It really feels great. I was sitting there watching Amy talk to her and I was just nodding. The story is changing the world. I feel it rippling through the world. All right. Calling somebody or texting somebody and saying having fun in New York isn't really reaching out. It's like hey how are you doing after your boyfriend who had cancer dumped you. Hey did you know that by the way that he broke up with her? What the hell? I did not know that. Or maybe she just said just tell him that so everyone's not saying you'll broke up with the guy with cancer that's not nice. Yeah who knows. Anyway that's cool so what kind of segments and stuff where they're on the Amy Phillips on the Amy Phillips. So it starts off with like news and gossip and then she has this really cool segment where like she she gets a statement from Andy Cohen himself to clarify a rumor and I'm like gosh like that's really cool like when we want to clarify a rumor we just do silly voices. Like I think that's pretty much the truth whatever we just did. We don't clarify rumors. We begin them. That's right. That's right. We exacerbate already existing rumors and create new ones. So the first segment was that then it's commercial break and came back and by the way I still I don't think you should have commercials on satellite radio I am like I'm paying for that shit. I'm still mad when I see commercials on cable TV because I'm an old person and when cable TV came out they were like hey Mr. Karam all you need is this gigantic refrigerator box in your living room and you'll never watch commercials again. Sure there's not much on it but one day it's going to be amazing. My dad was like the future kids now. Yeah sit down and stare at this infomercial. Everyone was like brown box is right you had to push the buttons on top right. Uh-huh. So anyway so then the next segment was the Heather interview the segment after that we talked about Orange County and then we talked a little bit more about Orange County and Teresa checks in and then it was like over and it was an hour long and somehow it just slipped away from us. It was so fun. Well I'm excited to go do it. It's so weird doing it in front of other like leaving the house to do stuff like that to do shows. It feels odd being someplace else. But Amy will make you feel really comfortable because she's good like that. Oh yeah always does. Oh it does. She's wonderful. I just pull up an Amy Phillips video and hook myself and just look at a picture of Amy. Oh I feel like I'm at home. Oh bad. Oh I was going to tell you something about that. The other day a reader I keep forgetting. I don't take notes on real life all right. It just comes when it comes. So a reader or a listener wrote us and said hey you guys Amy Poehler has this Bravo podcast. You mentioned this the other day but did I told you I didn't tell the. No I think it was on the podcast. Oh my god I'm so dumb. All right just rewind that one. Anyway if you did hear it or if I am repeating myself I think I told you personally but um yeah I was like Amy Poehler has a podcast on Sirius about housewives. This is amazing. I'm gonna we're gonna be best friends and then Amy Phillips texted me five seconds later. I was like do you want to do my thing and I was like yeah do you know anything about this Amy Poehler. So stupid. Yeah some of me to type though. So stupid that I am mentioning it again without remembering doing it before. You know who's not stupid. Our super sponsor. You know who I'm talking about. I do. I just did a big announcement for her at the beginning of the show Jessica. Oh in that case I will I will cease discussing Jessica. Jessica you just cannot get anybody's mentions. Jessica on your 90th birthday party right now wherever you are you're probably on the top floor of a hotel and your hot husband's like feeding you grapes and being like it's still your birthday in our heart. The birthday just will not end. We thought you were safe Jessica. We mentioned you again because you are a super sponsor. She's gonna wake up without a birthday party one of these days and be like it's all over so wake up with Megan voice. Yeah it's all over. Googling it. We're about to say that we figured out what Megan's theme song is. Oh should I play it? Yeah of course. This is what Megan listens to when she does investigations. Google. Google. Siri search something for me pet scans. Dant dant dant dant dant dant dant dant dant dant dant dant dant knowledge that there's a Hodgkins and a non Hodgkins. Siri searchino. Dant dant dant dant dant dant dant dant dant dant dant dant dant dant dant dant dant dant dant dant dant dant dant dant. Thanks iPhone gadget. Okay so shall we move on to ladies of London. Lads of London. Lads of London. I'm very excited because in the opening this week I happen to notice the credits and one of the executive producers of ladies of London is named Travis Shakespeare. So that makes it official ladies of London is produced by Shakespeare. He's back. This playwright has a third act. Shakespeare probably was like a reality producer. He's like all right get some people get some dudes to put on wigs. Okay it'll be a mom who's probably fucking your stepson and they both secretly want the old dude they just married for the money to die. Okay do it find it make it happen. Yeah the original draft of uh the original draft of McBeth was out out damn knowledge and justice. I think that was McBeth right out out damn spot. I don't want to be on laundry duty. It's like out down spot is Rocky cleaning the captain's shorts. The first draft of Romeo and Juliet was actually David. David or for Arthur David. Now instead of a balcony she's calling to David from a top giant chandelier that has a bluetooth remote control on her iPhone. David partying in such sweet sorrow. David? Well not too sweet. I don't like all that sugar. David. We need the sassy maid though who's trying to like save Juliet. The which oh the um is there a sassy maid in that who's always trying to save Juliet? Maybe it could be him. It's like a nurse maid. Juliet. Now I know he's cute but you know I was looking at him before you were looking at him and it wouldn't be such drama if I was with him. All of Kate's lines would just be basically Lady McBeth. They were unchanged. Captain Lee is all the world all the worlds are yeah and all the men and women really deck hands. They have their entrances, their exits. The yacht or the cruise ship? That is the question. Now on a cruise ship I'd be wearing socks with these pink sneakers here but I'm a yacht even though it's higher class. I'm not wearing socks. Thank you so much. Bravo. Bravo. All right so lads of lones. Spanking a Shakespeare. Let's go to the little tan where Shakespeare was born and first learned to write London. His last masterpiece Ladies at London. Um so uh well we knew it was gonna be a good episode because it starts with Caroline calling Rania on the phone in the opening montage. I love it. I love that this is the softer side of Caroline this whole episode but she's still the same. Yeah she's well I love that in this opening montage. She's like Rania, darling. I'm choosing an outfit and then I'm coming into the office in a few hours. I'm like you're choosing an outfit and then coming to the office in a few hours and I wonder why you're going under. It's like 3 p.m. she walks in. All right Rania. Coffee. Jelly tarts. Rania. Call Valentina. Get her to call Pauline. I need someone to get over here and help me with these boots. Pauline. Polish. Valentina. Rush. Slowly. On the heel. Who's the little one over there? Who's the tiny? That's mine. All right get over here child. All right put your fingers in this boot. Mommy's gonna try and slip it over her well-tuned camps. All right. Stop crying. All right there's no crying and boot pulling up. Valentina. Tissues for my sad child. You never make it anywhere in this world. She was so ad-f having this episode. She was. Hello children. Mommy loves you. Mommy loves you. Kisses. All right. Clear the children. And then also the opening montage. I love that the music just came to a stop just to highlight Julie being frazzled over something. She's like Mike, Mike. Okay. HSP. Julie what I wrote. Julie walks kids to school and freaks out that they're gonna get hit on an empty street LOL. On this sidewalk. She's like kids. He's watching out. And they're on the sidewalk of an empty street. Yeah. Kids. Kids. Don't die. I don't see you guys looking both ways. We're next to a street. Kids look both ways. Kids look at a lot of cracks in the sidewalk and I can't hurt my back. Okay. I'm a teacher yoga. Don't break my back kids. Look up the cracks. No one can deliver a job for mommy babies. And then they show whimsical that whimsical Caroline Caroline Fleming. Oh yeah. Being whimsical in the streets and flowiness and flowiness abound. She walks into a store of course not a grocery store but an outdoor organic market possibly. And she looks at the veggies and she says now which one of these has the most anti-oxidants? Ladies like I think the green ones. She's like thank you. Yes. I'll take a green one. Thank you. That is just a wonderful thank you. That is what that is exactly what I wanted. Thank you so much. Oh green the color of whimsy. You know a day is not complete until I have green in the morning and green in the evening. And then I feel green. And then they have Juliette being such a white woman when she's like she says to her kid. Do you like this top or do I look like a rapper? I don't look like gangsta. I'm like oh god I'm crawling under a rock right now. Kids mom's cool right kids. Yeah you got a cool mom right. Yeah double peace sign out. Yo I'm straight out of Compton and I'm referring to the neighborhood in California not the neighborhood just at the street in London. Get it? Cuz they're two Compton's gangsta cool. Like guys you know our house might smell like dead rats and being a weird part of town but you know that means that you're gonna study more which means you're gonna be smart right. Yeah yeah mom's cool. Mom's positive and cool. They're like uh mom. I don't want to go outside. Mummy I hear it's dangerous outside. Julie's children always have to get run over by cars. They have to be careful. Mummy they need to make more scenes of Juliette with just her kids because that is the most hilarious thing. It's a neurotic American with English children and just those little accents. They're so cute. Kids what are you calling your dad? Why are you saying your dad's a brain to the family? Like what am I chopped liver? I love that she says what am I chopped liver? I know and the kids the little girl says no mommy dad is the brains but you're the best at bossing people are wounds. Already extremely passive aggressive like a good little British girl should be. But she has that direct shit too you know. Like well you're a bossy bitch and so you're good at that. Okay keep it up darling. Clear the mother. That was pretty cute. Um so good. Gaunt Valentina. Clear my mommy. Clear the mommy. Um oh yeah so Julie so this is a positive episode. I guess they're like well that big dramatic fight over nothing was pretty weird so maybe let's have a positive episode because Juliette was spearheading the positivity and this is what I love. I love when she starts a bunch of crap and then she's the one who's like you know it's so weird everyone's always fighting. Yeah I don't understand it but you know maybe we can go bowling. That's what we do in America. We bowl. We get drunk and then we bowl like. She doesn't have bowling. Breaker's beer and bowling. You can see Marissa already getting furious. Like I'm going with the hot dogs. I don't know what the hot dogs. I'm the Americana woman. I was sitting and I was sitting in a... I'm trying to do Marissa's voice better because I'm able she has kind of a favorite lap. I know she speaks a little bit like this. I feel like she speaks a little bit like this. Juliette. I mean Marissa. She's like top dogs. Some dogs are something. Yeah she's sort of like a higher Shannon but she's in my Shannon-Madoor range of accents. I have so many there that I can't. I have to find a new range. What can I say? I know by the way I loved when Julia calls Caroline to invite her to this bowling thing and she's like she's like have you ever been bowling in London and kind of like yes I have been bowling many times in London. I do it every time I want to be reminded of all the ridiculous things that Americans do. I make Valentina hand pulling the ball and then I watch Polina shake down the lane darling and pull it for me. If it's a gutter she's beaten by Amber of course. Amber just chases her around with a stapler because she's lazy. I need to hire somebody to whip her in blood time. Valentina. Spare. Pauline. Strike. Truth the ball. Those aren't the number of pins that were knocked down Miss. Bad. Bad news mum. You didn't hear any pins this time. All right well go run down that alien just kick them all down with me. All right thank you very much. All right mum. Bad news mum broke my arm, slipped on that alleyway. What do you want me to do? She's going to the hospital I don't care. Well you better have the economy smiling on her stalling. You're gonna be walking around with a crooked arm for the rest of your life. It's not my fault you don't understand how to walk on a slick alley. I need more money from my business so I can afford people who can walk on slick alleys. This is ridiculous. Valentina. Go pick up Rania. She's down in the middle of the pins. Pauline all right. Pauline. Valentina. Valentina and Rania are both down at the pins. You just go fetch them. Just get a net or something. Just get them out of the way. I'm gonna do this American past time. Oh Caroline. Rania if you don't get out of the way I'm gonna roll this ball. I don't either way. I don't care if you either get up or get hit. All right mum. Does it count as a strike if I hit Rania? Oh poor Rania. Bad news mum. I love that that's just that's all the episode of that news mum. So I'm looking through my notes which is why I'm like oh so invites Caroline bowling and then says hasn't won a big oh it's a wig party too so they're gonna go bowling but it's gonna be a wig party and of course the wig party is like a political party in London but really it doesn't really get that and no one really mentions that. She's like no it's not just come dressed like a horse what I mean like on your head but only on your head so we can stay proper you know like what someone sees us. Pattered Wigs. So. Pattered wig party at the party. I'm a Deus party at the bowling alley. Okay I want to be on the team that's me the F. Marie Abraham. I want to be on the Mozart team because I like art and I like the most art of everyone. Out to like Moz. He does poetry. Marissa drinks wine while feeding baby with one hand. I just love that. I feel I don't have memories of being a baby obviously because you know I don't have memories of yesterday as be honest but I'm sure that my mom was drinking a glass of wine with kind of a half rolled eyes thing that Marissa does while feeding the baby and lovingly smiling at her husband. Yeah I actually like that moment it was funny but then but then we went to a scene in Marissa with Annabelle because Marissa keeps meeting with Annabelle to get branding advice for her hot dog shop which is hilarious because Annabelle is you know the quote unquote high fashion well she is she does work in high fashion so I mean to me it seems like going to like I don't know Zach Pozen to figure out your McDonald's uniform. Yeah it just seems it doesn't seem like a well no because that's a designer. I know but what I'm saying is it's someone who it's like going to a store it's like walking up to a mannequin and a store and then asking it for fashion advice someone else put that dress on the mannequin you know what I mean. It's like hi Marissa I'm ready to think I'm gonna have a logo you've worn a lot of logos. What do you think about them? Annabelle's like right over there oh no I hit the coffee table oh god I hit the coffee table I re- oh I re-engined my horse injury with the coffee table. Oh you're you're oh I forgot that you're a I forget like our relationship is so like organic. It comes together like nations and we are the world's long. It's just like we sit down and it's like we have these deep we just get it to understand. I feel like we're in hands across America except we're in England and we're the only two people holding hands that's how close our relationship is. She's not really holding my homes but I know that she wants to really deep down. Yeah honestly when Marissa said she's like yeah Annabelle's become a really good friend of mine and it's organic and then I look at her phone I remember oh yeah you're like super famous fashion model. I'm like yeah I'm sure it's quote unquote organic aka you've been up her butt because she's you know in this world of fashion that you want to be part of. Don't act like it was it just happened to come together. You push that shit. You push that shit. How famous you were you look a totally super famous amazing model that everyone knows and it's loaded across the lines. I totally forgot to ask that. That's great. Well so then the waiter comes by and Annabelle for some reason wrote this down because it amused me when she said I'll just have a cleanser. Whatever that is. He's like he prints a tube upper but he's like yeah all right mom coming right up they know who she is. We've got a little vinegar mixed with some hot water and a little Chanel number five in there. We'll be right back to clean up the lady hole. Mind the coffee table mom. I just sit here with my cleanse up my butt. I'm still in the ring from the time that I was getting a cleanser and knocked into a coffee table. My life still isn't the same. When you've been struck by a coffee table you're not left with much but your imagination in the cleanser. Life changes when you knock your knee into a coffee table all of a sudden everything that was isn't. When you're having a cleanser in your imagination as you want to beach surfing with Alexander you'll really know the meaning of life. I've made a book about it. It's called all of my fingernails. It's got a different personality. Here's a fingernail that was injured when I walked into a coffee table. This is the only fingernail that's never been injured. I don't look at it. Don't look at it. Sometimes when I walk into Ikea I just break down into tears because I see all the furniture I could walk into. And I think why Alexander? Alexander only like clutch things and never ran into hard edges at his place. I've never had to deal with the world without foam until that tragic day when my best friend and soulmate Alexander tripped over a coffee table. Sometimes I walk into coffee tables just to feel alive. That is so stupid. It's like one half second of the episode and we were just like latching onto it. I do love her though. Her personality is so hilarious and they don't really show her that much. She is more for this episode. I really love that she's there you know her story. She's like I don't understand these women. I pit two women against one woman and they can't even do it. Everyone's a moron. She's like what are they even talking about? It's almost like a reality show. What's going on? She doesn't get where she is and it's so funny. I know and I love the way she just shoots down all of Marissa's ideas for her branding. Marissa shows her some like baseball cap. It's like oh well these are going to go over real well with Anna Bell. She's like I never really liked this stuff anyway. What about what are those strange you know what those hats that used to wear coming out of the tavern and then in 1950s people wear it a lot. You know that if Anna Bell were in charge of top dogs branding everyone would be wearing these giant hats with feathers like you wear to Ascot. Hello mom. She's like a hot dog. All right then. America. She's like I want one girl to walk around the block and plaid knickers. Why? No one knows. They're like themselves. Why? Do you have any hoop presses all right versus like well what about a patch? What about a patch? Can we put a patch on it? Oh that's so funny. I have some patches. They all say Alexander. What did she say? Oh yeah she's like oh yes patches. They use those hospital. I've seen those logos before when I was imagining things. The nurse was king and he was in love with me. Then he tripped over a desk tray. He tripped over a couch desk in the past. Life will never be the same. Rock and roll. Rock and roll. I have to put a rock and roll patch on my shin. That's where I made contact with the coffee table. Rock and roll. Rock on the roll. I'll have to go back to hospital. Hit the coffee table. All that's about their patches now. So funny versus like thank that was such good advice. Like everything is different now. This is going to be successful. I like when they were showing the rundown of mercers. It's like I'm so busy. It's like so much is going on a talk talk. I've got to list this my long like everybody like a hot dog. Anybody like make a Pinterest page? Today I make a Pinterest page about getting hot dogs. The best way is to get them crates, baskets, boxes or hammer who forgets a Pinterest page. It's never happened and it's not going to start with this girl. It's my baby. All right. So then we go to the gift library where we see Caroline bossing people around. Could I get a glass of water? Pour. Pour. Slowly. In the tumbler. No splash. Pauline. Clean up the splash. Rainier. Throw the glass out the window. Thank you. That's so funny because I wrote my first note on this is gift library. Water. Water. Hydration. We also got an amazing, an amazing little scene to start this with Pauline. Walking down the walking down the hallway stressed out because Pauline's got that constant like it's not like a Catherine Hepburn head shake. It's like a tremble. It's like she's like a dog that has to pee or just peed on the floor and is like terrified you're going to beat it. She looks like that. She's like kind of like walking down like a hefty walk with a file folder in her hand and I just imagine like her cell phone buzzing and then her page or buzzing. Everybody just being like, where is she? Pauline. Valentina. Rainier. Call that. He's like, can I just go to the bathroom? Miss. Please mum. It's my agenda is for me to go have a bathroom break for the first time in six years. Never. Never. She's basically the way you're describing her is essentially Brenda Bluffin in every British movie she's been in. Just, you know, Harry didn't work in class. Yeah, pretty much. There's a terror there that I find adorable. It's like, yes, I like it. You know that those dogs, it's like when you're going to look for a new used dog and you go through the pound and they're so cute and you want to take care of it but you know at the end of the day it's going to bite you and you just get a puppy or get a new one. Yeah. Well, Pauline goes and meets with Caroline because they have to meet with the investors and Caroline is like, well, we've been off way more than we can chew. He's like, yes, mum. Yes, yes, yes. You know that's like down to Pauline. Why yes more than you can chew plenty. All right, Valentina, come here and watch and make sure that Pauline doesn't bite off more than she can chew, please. Pauline, would you like a jelly tart? Oh, yes, mum. Well, too bad. You can't have one. You've had too many in your life. All you get is a piece of leather to put your teeth down on. Wayneia, come in here and strap Pauline down with three belts. Bad news, man. They couldn't make the bets in time. Have no bets, but I'll have a piece of string. Oh, dude, Jesus. Pauline, I would be an awful person if I didn't warn you that I've electrified the jelly tots bowl. If you touch it, you will die. Yes, mum. Valentina, put the electric jelly tart collar on Pauline. Stop staring at the bowl. Wayneia, make her stop staring at the bowl. I don't know, put a piece of cardboard or something in front of her face, don't you just block it, block the bowl? Pauline, look at the bowl. Now stop. Now look, now stop. Valentina, hide the ball. I can still feel the bowl, mum. Bad news, mum. Pauline's been an electrocuted mum. Got you close to the jelly tart bowl again. Oh, dear. Valentina, Valentina, do some CPR, please. Pauline, breathe. Pauline, have a heartbeat. Bad news, mum. Flatlining. All right, well, just dump on us some more. Wayneia, have Amber bring in a whole punch. All right, here's what you do. All right, we're going to go to the investors. All right, Rania, you get on the left side of Pauline. Valentina, you get on the right side, we're going to weaken and burn you at this. All right, that's what we're going to do. All right, we're going to weaken at Bernie's Pauline. All right, stand her up with something, put her on a dolly or something, darling. All right, we'll just roll her in there and make her do the meeting. Does anyone have a Hawaiian shirt we can use, just a sham of some sort? I'm just going to drape it over her. Sunglasses? Do we have sunglasses? Bad news, mum. Out of sunglasses. Oh, for God, it's so bad. Do you have a pillow or something, darling? Her head's still shaking back and forth, and we've got to do something, right? Oh, yeah. Valentina, get that pillow case and cut two holes in it. All right, very nice, put right over here. All right, that's where they can't see the dead features on the face. No one wants to put money into a business that hires overweight, unconscious women with head cheeks. All right, it's just how the government works, all right. Valentina, do you have a sharp beard? Valentina, just put a smile on that pillow case. Just like her. Show it out. There's some work around. It's up. Bad news, mum. Out of sharpies, bought a pencil. No, a pencil won't work. You can't draw a pillow case with pencil. What are you thinking, Ren? Yeah, this was business going on. It was stupid ideas like that. Stupid ideas like that, Ren? Sorry, mum. Someone's sharp and Amber's head will use that. The first organic sharpie, we're going to make millions, darling. All right, new plan. Gather, gather, gather. Slowly, not too fast. No, just don't come in. Just stand to get for glass. Is that a hint? No, don't. You may put your hands on the glass, but not your noses. Thank you. Only one hand, though. You may rotate whose hand it is. So I noticed for the first time, I don't know why. I mean, of course, we see the be nice song over her desk. But today I thought, you know what, the reason it's, everybody thinks it's funny because it's like, it's ironic because she's not really nice. But I think that it's not for her at all. It's a big sign to everybody else. It's like, this is my chair. Be nice. Don't be fucking with me right now. Do you really have luck with me? That's not for her. It's not like a motivational low cat poster on her cubicle wall, like inspiring her. It's behind her for everybody else. That's why it was a pretty bold of Pauline to say, well, I guess I wanted to just switch off the nice sign and go him. It's like, no, you do not tell Caroline Sanbury to turn off the nice sign. I want she turns it off when she wants to. Exactly. Just going to have you turn it off by putting your finger in the socket. Wet. Lick your finger. So then they go off and meet with the investors. Go to commercial break. We come back. Pauline and Caroline emerge looking very grim and they're in their car. Things are bad. Pauline's in the backseat being like, it's almost like a perfect storm where things have happened or things have not happened. As the case may be, Pauline shots up back there. What are you saying? It's a road pumping miss. It's a road pumping. No, Pauline. It's your insides to stop Pauline. Just do be quiet. Do shut up. Pauline. Here's what I'm going to do. All right. Here's what we do. Go find every damnation in London. All right. We're gonna make an amazing coat. I'm gonna sell it. Bring back the business. Do it now. Pauline was literally shitting herself in the backseat. She looked like she was a shaking, sweating, sobbing, mass God bless her heart. She's like, "Bankers miss. Bankers miss." Don't be afraid of them. Don't be scared. You could lose everything and eat nothing for the next years of your life. For the last years of your life, you'll care ready to be put out to bastards. Get it together, Pauline. What are you, regular sme back there? Just get it together. What are you crying about? Without me, there's nothing. So you'll have nothing to cry over. And then radio calls up. It was like pretty much as close to impersonation as possible. She's like, "Hello, mom. I'm before you." She's like, "Yes, pretty much. Goodbye." I have no idea. It's very stressful. I have to go talk to these men and our life is on the line. Who knows if they're gonna give us the money and if they don't, I've bitten off more than I can chew. I can't handle this. I'm so busy. I have so many things going on. Do you understand? I wake up in the morning. I walk to the coffee. Someone pours it down in my throat. I'm lifted into a shower. Do you know that that's half an hour right there? I mean, I just can't take it. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm no businesswoman. I'm gonna spend time with it. It's like, oh my, that was basically the whole episode. And my ish eels. She is so strong and funny and hilarious because she's so strong. I don't like when she's like not confident and wishy-washy and weird. I want her to be saying, "I think she's so strong." I think she's strong in her, in the failure of her business, actually. I disagree with you on that. I think that she's not sitting there. She's not crying. She's just basically stating, she has a very realistic perspective on it, which is that over expanded, she bit up more than she can chew. She got on herself into a mess and now she has to deal with it. And I think that she's been actually handling it much. Like, can you imagine it was Tamara talking about cut fitness? I mean, like, "Oh, we have work floors." She's crying. You know, that's me is not a strong business model. Well, I don't mean that she's crying or whatever. I mean, in the sense that instead of just accepting failure so easily, I'd like her and saying things like, "You know, I need to spend more time with my family. I can't handle it. It's just too much. You know, I don't have, it's so busy, busy, busy. Instead, I want her to be, this is my business. I love it because I started it and I really want to do it. And it means everything. And even if we have to do it with five people and start from the ground up, we're going to do it and we're going to come through and we're going to have interns now. Forget this. And she did, by the way, have a huge Instagram thing like, "Be my intern." I was like, "Oh, that's the most terrifying thing I've ever heard in my life." Yeah. But I don't know. I want her to see, I want to see her stronger in that way instead of just being like, "I'm a failure. I'm a failure. I'm a failure. I'm a failure." I thought it was, I thought it was a nice moment of candid self-reflection. So anyway, so she then she goes home. Yeah. So she goes home and her children are like, "Mommy, mommy." She's like, "Hello, hello, child one and child two." It was like very strange. I tried to use the small people. Hello, little things that came out of the woman we hired. And then randomly Michael Sam, first gay football player and his then boyfriend fiance, whatever, arrived because we found out that Caroline met them at the Abbey, which then had me asking why were we not at the Abbey to meet Caroline? We could have been friends with Caroline. She could have flown us to her house and we could have been all buddy buddy. No, that's not how it happens. You have to be famous because famous people see each other and they're like, "Oh my god, you're famous too." Okay, someone buy that other famous person to drink because we're both famous and they're like, "Hey, what's up? Hey, yo, this place is great. Yeah, and all the gay people. Let's go launch, yeah, gay people." It's like girls screaming at bachelorette parties and stuff. So not fair. It's like when hot people like both immediately acknowledge each other and they're like, "Well, you can be friends because we're both hot." And it's like famous people do that too. "Why can't we be with them?" Well, listen, I have that with other people too. I mean, I have it like with chunky people or people who are really mad. Like, we all have our others in life that we can just give a little nod to and be like, "Yes." They get it. They get it. I get it. I feel your pain and also get joy. I know. So anyway, so what I love though, so Michael and Vito, they show up and they're like, "Oh, hi, hi." And she's like, "Oh, good. Yeah, do take the children off to their bedroom." She's like, "I immediately put them to work." She's like, "Get these children out of there. Bye." "Goodbye. Don't have to put bed bugs in that fight." When you're done, I'm going to say you had to organize the silver draw. So then we go to Annabelle, fleshing out ideas for her children's story. And it's really a great little story for kids because right now she is working on some ideas about the swamp world of the meemies. The mees. The mees. They're called the mees because they're all versions of me. Different little versions. There's a happy me. Look, that's me happy. Don't acknowledge her. There's the me that's possibly worried about tripping over something. There she is. That's called trippy me. Look at the bruise. That's a coffee table bruise. You can see by the angle. It's coffee table. When she said, "Oh, hold on. What am I saying? I write too many notes." I've been writing a lot also. I need to really comment. They needed trouble. They needed an enemy. That was great when she said, "Here's what I want. This is what they need. The mees need something. Maybe they could have an enemy, something that they could fight against." I'm like, "Yes, okay, Shakespeare is in Ladies of London this week." She's like basic storytelling. What do you think? Rock and roll. How about we have characters that have... They'll go through ox, ox. What a wonderful word. I inspired you to come up with that word. Oh, it's like it just rose from a swamp. I just rose from a swamp of me. The word rose from a swamp is angry me and messy me. Well, really messy is my sister, of course, because she's messy. On more rock and roll. Dreamy me. Broken hip me. Bangs me. Bangs me. Tea time me. Winona Ryder with a lot of opiates in his system me. When I saw his work, I knew he was perfect for adventure time. I was strong connections to all the mees. Oh, I was cracking up because she doesn't even get half the things that she says are hilarious. She doesn't even know that she's being funny. But she said, "This is the me that was in pain when I was a little girl. I had just gotten out of children's psych ward for the 11th time, and this little me was just sitting there and it couldn't read. It was dyslexic." And I mean, that was the easiest one to write. But, well, isn't that ironic? I know. Oh, God. I will say, I do think the art looks really cool in it. That art, that art, that's super cool. But it still cracks me up that she's like, "Rockin' roll." And she just is in the most old lady house of all time. It's like everything's like flowery and yellow. Nothing. It's the exact opposite of rock and roll. She's like, "I'm taking notes with the blue pen with gold stars." Grand got it. There's a diary to match somewhere around here. It blends in with the lamp, so I can't quite find it sometimes. You know, before we start talking about rock and roll with me, I just want to ask you, "Would you care for some tea over FaceTime? Tea? Would you like some tea with some sugar cubes?" Rock and roll! Rock and roll. You know, I came up with this idea of the means. When I was at hospital, 'cause when you were at hospital, you can't move. And your imagination, it goes to places because you have to be creative. I'm like, "Bitch, you were on fucking heroin in the hospital. They were probably giving you Oxycontin or some shit." Yeah. No wonder. Lots of wonderful rock and roll has been come up with on Opie. It's stunning. And we got a classic Annabelleism, 'cause then she says, "This is the first project I've done since the passing of my friend Alexander McQueen! Alexander!" And then they sort of picture them, and it was really cute. And I couldn't help but think to myself, "Wow, that was a long time ago." Yeah. Get up. Get out of bed. Make your bed. You know, it's like Spirit lives on, Alexander me. I haven't worked on a project alone since Alexander passed, and I was like, "You didn't work on the Alexander project alone. What are you talking about? You wasn't the signer in that, darling!" All right, come on now. Come back from the five in time to me, Dean, to me, Dean. I'm feeling the pressure of being a leader, grandma, pen, that matches couch, I bet. Boring. This is why people fight your twat. "Why are these women always fighting? Everyone could sit on FaceTime with someone they've hired, writing notes with a granny pin in a barns and no playbook." No, excuse me while I go look at old paintings of dogs and hunters. So then I have a note that is, I guess Caroline does something, and the only note I have in the scene is she's talking again about the business. So romantic. She's like, "He's my best, my hubby, my soulmate. He's my other half. That's what he is." And then it's her gay guy that she's talking to. She loves him because she pays for him, and she just talks, talks, talks, and he just asks questions. So she doesn't have to ask. What's it like being so fabulous and being so stressed at the same time, Mum? Oh, you're so wonderful. Tell me about it. Do you feel sad about it, Mum? Thank you, darling. Keep the patting up. By the way, I love that guy's sweater. He always wears this blue sweater that I really like. So that, I give him credit for that. But then, but I love it in the middle of that. She's talking about the stress of it all. She's like, "You know, if I do this, I go to that, I'll go to the business going down and then I have to come home and be perky with the kids." I'm like, "That was your version of being perky with the kids?" Staring at them. No swipes. All right, clear them. Children, hugs, upstairs, see you next week. One of them looked at my boots with jealousy. I just can't. I'm exhausted. I'm exhausted. Little heathens. I'm afraid they're getting fat and lazy. I want them out of my face. Hmm. I don't care about your broken finger. Clear her. Clear the broken finger. Cut it off. It's beautiful. Oh, okay. It's beautiful. Give it to me. We're best friends. These songs that come on this. Oh, yeah. Don't kill me. It's a beautiful day. We're driving in the car together. I love you so much. In the car. Right. Then we hear Annabelle asking Julie, "Do you know Rafe?" I just imagine that Annabelle just goes through life asking everyone that. Excuse me. Do you know Rafe? Oh, no. Okay. Well, eating an apple. I don't know why it's so founding, seeing somebody eating an apple. It was weird. Alexander loves apples. I think you can just pick up off the ground and take a big chunk down after him. Rock 'n' roll. Alexander's favorite computer was an apple. I love apples because it's just sadness and desperation going down my throat as I think of all of those emails that Alexander would be forwarding me. Sometimes I wish our worm in an apple, but not like a normal worm. Like one of those cartoony worms that comes out of an apple. That's what I want to be with Alexander. Worm me. Worm in the after me. So we have an apple. Okay. Found that note. Eating apple. There's one out of it. Meeting guy who runs it. Meeting to get a tape. Yeah, so what they were doing. Cute vampire look. Every time they show Julie, she's a different kind of vampire. This time she had brown eyes and, I don't know, Cute is vampire ever though. No, I see it's just like a vampire. So it's stressful having to eat blood. Did I bring the blood? Did I bring the blood? Oh my, can't eat me. Oh my god. I am such an idiot. I season the blood with garlic. No, I can't even eat this. I ruined the whole dish. Oh my god. So they're at Maperton. No, they're not at Maperton. They're meeting Julie's cousin, Rafe, because Rafe runs a different estate and they want to get some tips from Rafe about how they could maybe run Maperton and get some more revenue. The money used can make money. Why, Cat? We make money sandwiches. So his big tip. You must have good floor mats. You must, especially with a gravel. Dormats are important. I am the door mat. That's perfect. Okay, well, that's that's checked off. What's next? And then Caroline Fleming is there and she's like, oh yes, I have a stay at home too. And in olden days, I would give little footies. So that's where you don't have to worry about gravel. It is such a wonderful romantic place and the olden days in Denmark. But I love how I'm talking about involving Fleming boys. Well, it always changes over the course of sentences. I like it. But you know what? I love her because she is just so like effortlessly aristocratic, even though she tried. It's not that she's even being a poser. She is like spiritual and kooky, but then she just says these things very matter-of-fact. Like, oh yes, I have a state house too. And we just use footies instead of door. We just get everyone, everyone their own private door mats that they can just put onto their own feet. That's what we do in Oz in olden times. So it's precious. There's a way to make money in a state. I've always said it's about the romance and the flowers and just think of the money in your heart and your spirit as the king once told me on a hunting trip in Africa. Oh, we must get more door mats and we shall. We shall get more door mats. It has to be for a friendship. It just has to be. I also like by the way- Do you need to feel grounded? Can we get drum mats in here that feel grounded? Because no matter what estate you're on, the important thing is that your guests walk in here with bare feet and just for a moment feel the ground and then feel the coconut oil under their feet in the ground. So in the background, what I love this- I love how this was just so British that in the background there was basically Mrs. White from Clue cleaning candlesticks. I mean there was like did you see that maid? She was like scaring around in the background in like the most old-fashioned down Abbey maid uniform. I was like is that Mrs. Padmore? Is that- I love Mrs. Padmore. Yeah. And he the guy the butler guy was I know you know I bring up Abifab all the time. It's such a random thing to bring up probably on this show because a lot of people haven't watched it I think but there is a really funny episode where they go to Morocco and their friend in Morocco is this old perfect. He's like oh it's like this old perverted guy and he looks like this guy and I kept thinking of him the whole time. Welcome to Madison. I just think that's what all the old British people are like. It's very important to have good doormat. Another important thing is to make sure that the worlds are filled with things of interest because those guests talk around the home. We need to see interesting things adorning space. And the things of interest it was just like walls and walls of pictures of old homely rich people with bad teeth. And that's why no one smiled. They were like he's- makes sure everyone only has a closed mouth smile. So cute. But it was kind of like an Applebee's because you know how they used to have all those pictures next to each other on the walls. It's like that. But of homely dead white people. Diving. So they are walking around Mapperton and Caroline Fleming has- not that Mapperton the other place and Caroline Fleming has an idea for how to make all the money back at Mapperton. She's like oh this is this is what you do. You make it to the place with the best afternoon tea and lemonade in all of Great Britain. People pay top dollar for lemonade. Especially if it's the best and especially if you put a bookcase on all the tables. This lemonade will be made with spirit and good intentions and too doesn't want a lovely cup of that. And Julie. Julie she's so cute. I'm rooting for Julie. I hope she makes it work. Because look no one wants to get married to a rich guy and then realize they're poor. That's just sad. Or you like you're married and you're like oh my god I have a job now. This sucks. But um I'm rooting for her. And this whole brainstorming about having a cafe in there was cracking me up. Well I just I don't know why I can't think of what do you like and burn hot chocolate for people. No no. People can come just yell at me. My kids like doing that. No no. All right well well you know we are called the sandwiches and you know the Duke of Sandwich invented the sandwich and sandwiches put people on the walls. You know like if you go to a sandwich shop they always have pictures of people on the walls. Let's put pictures of sandwiches on the walls. People putting pictures of sandwiches on the walls. Like the opposite. How about you just make sandwiches darling. I don't even know how I'm going to even run mapper tin because you know there could be people coming here. They'll be driving into the parking lot. I'm going to have to be like making sure no one gets hit by cars. I'll be in the parking lot all day long. It'll be terrible. Okay so before we tell people to special sandwich with the day we're going to have a safety course. Okay there's a spot over there. You can park your car to the left. Okay look out. Look out. Oh you're in the car. Okay never mind you're safe. You're safe. Okay you you look out. Oh you're in the house. Okay good. Oh my god. Three almost deaths. Okay look out. Oh duck. Mr. Duck. Look out. Here comes the car. Oh look out. Oh okay the duck got out of the way. Poor thing cannot live in a home with windows. She'll just be sitting there staring out the windows all day long. The bird just let me go. The branch is about to break off with the birds. Don't fall bird. Oh wait I forgot they can fly. Oh the birds are so I love birds. So do you want a club sandwich? Lots of little things of adorning the walls. Okay invented the sandwiches. So now it's just sandwich place. Yeah she's like yes maybe you could even sell wraps. She's like well will they be ball sandwiches? You know I hear Juliet's really good at wraps. She's like all gangster wrap right huh is that what you meant? I'll be the delivery person. We got an order. Oh god I'm going out on the bike again kids. All right put on my helmet. Get my knee pads. Get my bullet proof jacket. Get my hunting jacket just in case anyone's hunting out there. Dear whistle. And then we cut to a scene of Caroline Sandberry taking Michael Sam and his boyfriend and her and basically all the gay guys on a duck tour which was hilarious because it was such a proletariat thing to do for Caroline. And they were just like this is a fun little montage and driving around the city and pointing things out and Michael Sam was giggling at everything. It was nice fun little scene. And then we came. There's a place you can go get a horse and he's like I thought you said horse. I was like you're dumb. Get off their show. You need to leave this show with your horizontal stripes and your patterns and your fedora and your vest that's and your quilted vest. All of you together get off going. Get off the duck tour. Clear. Clear the abbey. Here's another abbey. Strangely enough this is called Westminster and there are no strippers in there beating you with their dongs. Just world leaders. Pauline drive the duck tour. Rainier. Rainier. Steer it into the water. Bad news mum. We can't drive in the water. Oh we're in our car. Paul, Rainier. Get in the water. It's a duck tour for crying out loud. Just drive. I'm sure about this mum. We're on wheels. This lovely park we're passing is the first place that Pauline jumped out of the car moving at high speed. Do you remember that Pauline? Bad news mum. Instead of driving into the Thames I drove into that little pond from Buckingham Palace now all under rest. Oh. Could you get your bodies of water mixed up Rainier. This is why we're going under quite literally. So then we go poor. Okay I'm looking through notes. So then we go back to Caroline Fleming. There are the people who are up on at the estate walking around and Caroline Fleming they're talking about Juliet and they're talking about how she can get so angry or whatever and then Caroline Fleming says that she wants to help her because a lot of times when you act out it's because something's gone wrong and I just was like oh poor Juliet. Here she thinks she's going to be able to social climb with Caroline Fleming and instead Caroline Fleming feels pity for her. That means that they will never be equals. How John Waters is this movie. That's the thing. I don't trust this Fleming bitch. I'm sorry I don't. Like to me she's like a really popular rich girl trying to act like a hippie because she read that shit when she was five years old just like well she. Yeah sorry. I don't know. I don't buy it. Well I like her. I like that she's a pretending to be hip because we know she's got a bitch side and it comes out later this episode. Oh and I cannot wait till it blooms. Yeah it's about to bloom because you know I mean she's a monster with the biggest cut fitnesses. You heard it here first. Never doubt me. But she's going to be a wonderful one. She's going to be a cut fitness that we like you know but I love that Caroline's Caroline. Well Juliet actually goes to Caroline's place. I'd love to help Juliet. You can give a man a fish or you can teach him that fishing is non-sustainable in today's economy and if they really love themselves and their children they would go to markets and ask what has antioxidants and how they could stop talking that. It's like oh god she's going to go help the poor sad Juliet. Well she had a very condescending thing to say although I think she didn't mean it condescendingly it just came off that way. She's like I would love for her to take my advice because it is the kindest thing she could do for herself and the kindest thing she can do for anyone else. Oh that was a nice little pat on your back. Yes. The kindest thing you can do for anyone is to take my advice. Yes she needs it. Hopefully she's learning things. That whole scene was so awkward because Juliet's like hi um hi um I brought you a box of wine in a diet cook so I didn't know which one you'd want. Cool place like yeah I mean it's cool like what do you mean like do you have like a PlayStation like what do you do here it's like cool. That's exactly what it was. They were not connecting. Juliet's like I've always wanted to know how to make pesto and Caroline's like how lucky is that. The kindest thing you can do is take my pesto recipe and make it for other people dying. And she's like do you like almond butter? Want to taste my almond butter? She's like I made my own you must try my almond butter. Oh look at this I've knitted this myself. I should give you my second cookbook because you love the recipes in there. She's showing her the second cookbook. She's like early 90s pin-up calendar from like Vanity Fair if that makes any sense. Like a semi classy weird bated I don't know it's weird you know there's like some shit wrapped in Fylo dough. I mean well Juliet has like her mouth is full of almond butter. She's like oh yes that's the point here have some more. Yes yes have some more almond butter more almond butter. Have I told you how I jerked myself off with some coconut oil recently? Here almond butter almond butter. That's her laugh too. How lucky are you to be gagged with my homemade almond butter. What's that you want more here? I'm an almond butter. Take it. Take it. Take it. How lucky are you so kind of you to eat my almond butter. I crafted the spoon that you're eating right now when I was in a village in Rwanda I wasn't there helping I was just feeling the ground and I thought to myself there needs to be a better spoon so I created it. Well I'll be honest I was watching her tell Rwanda and really just a commercial for it but I thought to myself we need better spoons and how lucky are you to have this spoon of almond butter in your mouth as the credits rolled for hotel Rwanda. I sat Indian style on a sofa made by children in China and I thought to myself move that was the greatest comedy I'd ever seen. I said to myself film I have just watched you how lucky are you. The kindest thing that I could do would be to watch your film and tell people like Juliet about it. How lucky is Juliet to have my own kindness. Hotel Rwanda finally understands what it feels like to have been seen by me. That is a gift that I've given it and that is a gift that will last far longer than any stay at hotel especially in Rwanda. 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Your gift to Planned Parenthood helps all people no matter their race sexual orientation gender identity zip code income or immigration status get affordable high quality care without judgment stigma or drama so don't leave make your gift now at plan parenthood.org/protect coconut oil masturbate with it how lucky are you to know that coconut oil you use coconut oil I use it because you melt it it's wonderful yeah I melt it and then it's oil I also use it on my skin I have a lot of fun with it what do you mean what do you mean a lot of fun like I mean it's like oil so that's cool oh my vagina you know I have I use it on my vagina what why do you that's like your vagina smells like coconut oil are you talking about your real vagina or your bench that looks like a vagina which one no that is so kind of you to ask about that because I have two vaginas yes that's my secret wow I don't want to sit on either one of them I'm my weird do you think I'm weird do you think I'm in butter I'm in butter no please no more I'm in butter oh yes no yes yes I was born a Baroness I was born a Baroness she's like well it's cool no it's just like well I used to go to Dairy Queen all art so I guess I know something about royalty hmm here's what I've here's what I've been taught and I want to share with it I want to share it with you so you can learn everything I know about cardboard fruits it's got like those balls of those like painted fruits make sure they look organic use organic recycled cardboard for your fruits okay my kids like order pizza so whatever but okay cool hanging out with you would you like maybe put something on Instagram or something so people I know oh we must we must put it on Instagram but but first I must feed my dogs and I'm afraid they don't like to have an audience so goodbye goodbye thank you for coming um that's how I imagined it ended but uh so then we went to the uh the bowling scene finally it was time to go bowling so uh of course Annabelle didn't go which is a shame because that's the one thing I wanted to see was Annabelle and a wig bowling but of course she didn't do that because she's two rock and roll to bow i'm rock and roll not rock and bow i do rock and roll sports like hunting for game and pheasants um bridge now there's a sport croquet rock and roll croquet sometimes one I play a croquet sometimes I don't even aim for the little hoops rock and roll hello hello me there is no bowling me rock and roll i'll be sitting back here writing things with a porcelain pen uh i'll be looking at real balls at William Sonoma um maybe that's bonding because she was like telling me about jerking off so i don't know why i put that positive music for bowling caroline you can either be wonderful and positive or terrible okay i'm sorry we left that scene but she's telling Juliet here's what you need to know about the world you can be awful and obnoxious and terrible and unbearable for people to be around or you can be wonderful Juliet's like um thanks for the random advice as nothing to do with me but um so will you accept my facebook request or is that like hmm like um and can we like not do snapchat because that's gonna go in 10 seconds and i think i need this to last a little bit longer than that oh yes we must we shall we shall stop so Juliet has made bowling shirts for everyone everyone with nicknames and you know whenever you make nicknames for anyone on reality tv it never goes well so it's the one she gave to Caroline Fleming the classic the originals what was her dream team the dream team you got a star on your place name the dream teams and the other ones with anwa did we talk by the way about the Lyme disease thing did we talk about that last week or this week about how uh Bella and anwa both have Lyme disease now i don't think we actually talk about that i think they have like touches of it it's this new bravo kind of disease thing well it's well no i i you know it kind of annoyed me this is this we're digressing before we finish the bowling scene but it really annoyed me that yolanda foster tried out her kids as if they are you know uh they have come down with you know some terrible terrible disease Lyme disease is not good it's not it's not fun you know i'm not i'm not saying that it's just a trivial disease but honestly in the north east people get Lyme disease all the time and they go to the doctor and they get peeled you know if you catch it really enough it's it's more or less not too much of a big deal but when she trots out her kids as if like oh look it's spread to my kids like you know like this is terrible this has to be stopped like it's Ebola it's like no it's like your kids it's like it's basically but i don't think they have it now because i think that well of course i know everything i know from a headline telling but from what i read in that headline it just said uh yolanda Bella and anwa had had it so i think that over the course of their lives they've both had it or something yeah i'm sure so has like probably like 70 percent of the population in the northeast it's you know it's so it's just it's one of these things where she wrote something or she said something somewhere she's like like i just want to raise money for cure so that way my children don't have to you know that they don't have to have a life of pain ahead of them it's like lady okay i'm glad you're raising money for Lyme disease tell me she did not say that she said something along those lines and so it's like listen you know bravo to you for raising money for Lyme disease that's not a bad thing that's a good thing but at the same time please don't act like your like your kids i mean i don't know the severity of their Lyme disease but it really kind of made me feel like it was it's felt icky to me it felt like she was really exploiting your kids like that's not even something you should be thinking like am i a good person or a bad person for feeling this no that's fucking disgusting and slimy and that it's like having a press it's like having it has never been about Lyme disease it's chronic Lyme disease that's that's the difference she's trying to make it like it's not just Lyme's disease it's chronic Lyme's disease if doctors have argued for years that there isn't chronic Lyme's disease if that's why it's Lyme disease by the way saying Lyme you keep saying Lyme's i've gotten a few messages saying being like hey Ben can you tell Ronnie it's Lyme disease not Lyme's oh i keep forgetting to tell you Lyme disease i thought it was Lyme's is it wasn't Lyme a person no Lyme is the town in Connecticut where it was first found oh for Christ's sake whatever Lyme disease that sound that does sound worse though Lyme it's just one scary Lyme instead of a bundle um but yeah anyway it's chronic Lyme disease Lyme disease so she uh that's the big thing that she's trying to make it into that it's not just this little disease that everybody gets it's something that you're with the whole it incapacitates you for your whole life and there's nothing you can do and blah blah blah and well if you don't really agree I mean the doctors do not agree yeah and she is untreated it's bad give me a break no one has Lyme disease for that long no no no no no here's the thing if you if Lyme disease and of course I'm not a medical professional and I'm speaking halfway out of my ass but if Lyme disease goes untreated there are definitely serious complications I think you get like arthritic sort of things and it like gets into your spinal cord if it's untreated it's a serious disease it's definitely it can you know bad things I I don't doubt necessarily that Yolanda has Lyme disease or whatever um but no I think she well I don't know you know I don't want to touch that I think she has depression but I think that but the point is that Lyme disease can be very serious you have to like get attention from people and so you're sick all the time and I that's a real I just but but the thing is this though it's like it's if you catch it if you catch it early which a lot of people do you know um it's it's very manageable it's not it's not nothing you ever want to have and nothing ever want to deal with because there can be complications but I just feel like Lyme disease is good or bad is that she's blatantly using shit for publicity and blah blah blah and now pulling your kids into it or they're really that neurotic now too that everybody thinks they have something you know if both of your parents like both of my my sister and her husband are both gluten-free and dairy-free and you know they're like hardcore and their kids are very like food neurotic and kind of neurotic in general about certain things and it's totally because that's how and that's not good or bad I'm not dissing my sister it's just funny because you see other you see your own neuroses go on to your children you see the good and the bad go on to your children so who knows maybe they are they all I don't know it's crazy I don't know I just don't like it it's like fake cancer your phony ass chronic slimes chronic Lyme disease god damn it that's gonna ruin my life you know that we have to stop these ticks so anyway let's get back to ladies alundance sorry that was I want to clocked it only says talk if you're going to give me a breath mint I will only accept attack I only want liquor me almo Cole um low elmo I got the other one I call me elmo so okay so where we were before where were we bowling sort of ramping against people's diseases that's terrible so Juliet got everyone Nick names on their bowling shirts so Caroline Fleming is the first one to be put off by it because her says cougar and she's a bit sensitive about being called a cougar I think she probably doesn't like being called old and she probably is doesn't like when the relationship that she has with a 30 year old is called into question so um she's already a little bit on edge but Juliet's like no no no it's good it's cool like you know like wrong with it it's cool don't worry and she's like all right so she's like so you're telling me I should just go with I should be cool with it all right okay all right all right show yes yes I am cool oh she was yeah she was not super pissed but she was like she was really going for it well no well no no no well you're well that's that's a thing this was Juliet first and so first the Juliet um you know she she was like on edge but she was like okay you could tell us one of those things she's like I know I'm overreacting let me just pull it in and I'll be cool so then Sophie comes in and this is what I love that Sophie's nickname was Frank the Tang and Sophie Sophie is just like I don't understand what I'm frank that she's like well you know it's like that's a movie but it's a movie about old school but with Farrell goes running around the streets naked and just a total drunken mess no I guess I'll tell you it's not me that man was in BVDs I wouldn't ever I just like the idea that Sophie ever saw old school and they probably call her Frank the Tang yeah so then so then they start bowling and it's all fun and silly and then the music changes so we know something bad is about to happen but we don't know what it's going to be and Caroline Fleming is sitting next to Marissa and they're like someone's like all right Caroline it's your turn and and then Marissa's like lock up your children she is coming back I was like done done done I was like what that was it but Caroline Fleming was not having that at all oh that wasn't it though she didn't like no remark but then Marissa started helping her with them yeah because she was already sensitive about being called a cougar and then Marissa kept on going at it she's like look out for the little boys hey little boys she loves little boys hey she's gonna go after you little boy little boy little boy little boy little boy little boy you look like a little oh sorry that's not her you look like a little boy in your wagon Julie it's like yeah because you like little boys like you like little boys yeah you like little boy and then my like a little boy lover now the two idiot Americans are friends again for whatever reason and so they're acting like fucking idiots again and I miss that I miss when they were just getting in trouble with the stupid American Caroline you know since Caroline Fleming is still part of the aristocracy the aristocracy you know she handles it like an aristocrat which is that her face becomes her face becomes just cold and silent and she just stops acknowledging them and giving Caroline Stenberg was like well you know you cross her goodbye you know you're dead Rania used to be her best friend now she works for me that's what happens there's a reason Rania has two fake legs don't fuck with the Fleming or at the end of the day they'll hug you but they'll also smother you to stay away from the Fleming's Caroline Caroline Fleming's bench is actually a mould of Rania's ass after Caroline kicked it the old dent in there Pauline hold back Valentina I don't want her going near Fleming Pauline Pauline oh Pauline stop crying why are you still crying what Pauline now Pauline oh Jesus what's she looking at what are you looking at Pauline she's golden in him at the bottom of a person oh this is bait Fleming so yeah they're making the jokes and there's the Americans and everyone's in their stupid wigs by the way which is hilarious and they're all sitting on these the bowling chairs but the two America well Julie's an American girl too but the two bratty American girls are sitting there texting on their phones on insta giggling like idiots it is so funny they're like two it's the picture of two stupid Americans we're all them at one time or another yeah so that was really fun for me and then well then Caroline the squint nod when you know what you've made if this were a novel and Fleming got angry it would say her eyes narrowed you know when they say that I love that description and she looked especially pissed off because she was in like a little brown bob so she looked even more evil so she was just like mm-hmm goodbye goodbye and then she then she eventually leaves and then Marissa she picks up on these vibes and she goes to Sophie she's like do you think cougar is mad at me and Sophie's like no it cuts Sophie in the confession I'll be like oh yes very mad very very mad yes yes then Marissa asked the gay that's so like what's wrong like I found some tension in the room and he's like well you know you called her a child molester remember that and then remember how you were talking about how she looked a finger little boy's bungal I mean that was pretty do you remember the time do you remember the time you said that she should get a white van and like start trolling schools and kidnapping babies in the hospital straight out of the womb and then raping them she's like oh my god my really I went a little far away he's like yes maybe so I thought with Jill's at a party oh we know Juliet this is the other drama that they keep trying to insert which is the fight and then they kept flashing back to this big fight and last week's lady is but when you say that in front of her because like I didn't want you now I'm in trouble well I didn't want to get you in trouble but I love you but I don't even know why you did that but you did it okay so then you're doing it no don't say that no you're doing it no I didn't you are I don't even know what they're talking about so crazy and they keep inserting it again and then she's like yeah so I had this bullying party so then I could like um like I guess like make up of Julie's it's like what I got bowling shirts the same color as her hair it's like she's just like face she's all face right now and then they had the best oh Julie really just needs a hug you know and I wish I could hug her Julie I hope you're out there somewhere feeling hugged by me because I really do love you and she just needs a little hug you know all Julie it had to do with say she was sorry which she I guess kind of did not really not technically but she's like remember remember when we have a drama like I think it was like misunderstanding because all I was trying to say was that like you're great and like I really love like you're yoga and Julie's like yeah I mean I think what we should agree on is that that whole argument was just us trying to love each other it was just trying to be there for each other like um yeah okay yeah that's just agree that we both are there yeah yeah okay Julie has the sweetest way of what you hit the world she's like wow sure you know there are words and things but really it's just people trying to hold hands you know Julie is like have you tried almond butter before I just had it it's disgusting like who does that I hope I hope that child she is dating knows how to use a blender because she sure doesn't she's gonna choke him to death what would I say what I say where are you going what oh god now she's mad at me uh bowling fail strike Valentina strike Valentina here take his awful bowling shoes and wear them for the rest of your life I don't want to see anything else on your feet oh I don't know what that means oh ladies of London that was so good longer than the show we talked ladies of London for an hour and 28 minutes oh my god we were crazy that is we have to stop taking as many notes because we are like we're going through every like minor detail now it's crazy but they're so fun I know things that we joke about that are just little tiny things at the beginning they really do later on in the episodes and it's so so funny I sometimes I sometimes wonder if maybe editors uh listen to this or any part of it because back uh when I was writing for tv guys and and I used to do recaps for the hills um you know at that time those recaps were really popular and I learned that the um like the entire basically the entire staff of the hills was reading them and like everyone like Lauren was reading them the executive producers were reading them the editors were reading them and they were all these in jokes that you know would come up as they do when you when you're recapping a show or like when we're talking about our podcast and so they started adding these little things in the show almost as like a nod to the recap and then I mean I wouldn't know as a recap it was a nod to me but it was like something it was like oh I could make that joke again like I had a recurring joke about Lauren Conrad's cat so they started to include more cutaways of the cat you know it was like a little like hey like this is for you guys you know so I sometimes wonder what some of these shows do they ever are they ever just doing us little bones or are we just crazy it'd be cool if they were I don't know I think a lot of I think a lot of people listen to all sorts of stuff like we all know what radar online you know we all listen to probably fans I've learned in the recap site the people we get emails and stuff from are the people from the shows it's either the people who are Googling themselves although they're probably the biggest audience because they're Googling themselves and they want to read what other people are saying about them and stuff like that that's kind of funny yeah but then I can't think of it like that because if anybody is reading it or listening you know we're so rude and then I feel bad and I'm like oh but that girl was nice to me on twitter and now it was mean but you know you have to be mean to everyone equally yeah it's true it's what the bible says tis true tis true treat your neighbor how you want to see them treat other people horribly stop them no judge them silently on the on the internet kill them judge them loudly silently loudly slash silently on the other side of private doesn't it it does and that's the problem is that it's not private at all okay i'm going to close my internet i'm going to me i'm closing my facebook i'm getting distracted by things oh yeah i'm not paying attention to dear ronnie i'm not paying attention we still have we've got four hours to get really entertaining episode of below deck did you love it Ben i i said they did i said they did hmm no you did not no no it was funny i was cracking up like the entire time i have to say you know i call i say maids on a boat a lot and i i just i enjoyed the show in general but sometimes it gets to be just people being means and look i'm not saying it in a judging way i've been a waiter since i was 14 okay but come on guys like no one wants to watch me wait tables or maybe they do maybe i've missed a huge opportunity you're wrong i would watch as long as it's interesting i think this i think this was fun i mean the first the first i 20 minutes where you how are you guys i'm the fakest cut fitness in the world i love it go on Ben sorry open open open open open so i believe the episode began i actually didn't write notes for it um so i put all my note i put all my notes attention into laser london but uh but i can go off memory there's nothing wrong with going off of memory because that's what we're all going off of after all isn't that true right now you know how that would work with me i don't have a memory being okay i've got nine seven nine seven pages in notes so don't worry well the began with the the gang going off to their day off uh their day off on a resort because the owner of the boat a.k.a. bravo is like hey have a day off and go get drunk somewhere you know it's a day off on below deck when the terrible patterns blind you on the tv that is so many there are so many patterns in those suitcases that need to be retired how about everybody just start wearing solid colors for a year i'm getting old you're blind your poor patterns your poor person patterns are blinding me they wear solids all day long i guess that it that's it isn't it's their way of having expression opposite of polyester and solids yeah cotton flowy patterns so amy tells us again amy's cute she's like look guys i know i'm a maid okay but you know there is time for leaning and there's time for cleaning and right now it is a time for leaning i'm gonna be leaning on this bar you guys she's like this is why i got into the yacht industry it's because of the perks you know like having one day off in four months to go hang out with my co-workers for a day and then you're back to cleaning and you kind of get to wake up and sometimes they're you're in a handsome man's bedroom cleaning up after him and making his bed sounds like a goal accomplished to me y'all hey starfish you come with me we're going to them going to the resort for the day have a good time kick back have some margaritas and clean them up afterwards what a calm starfish she's she's so cute i like it i know i love being on the yacht you know every week there's a new man who comes on here and then at the end he just pretends he doesn't know me and walks away i mean it's just starting to feel like a blanket a blanket of polite rejection you know i mean it's as comfortable as cotton it's the way it should be you know people just ignoring me it feels good feels right feels like home feels like home cutie Amy tells us again she's a maid yeah they all go to chilies together yeah they stay at little cottages Kate has a drink alone yeah case like this is my idea of a vacation avoiding everyone else specifically Leon i will sit here and read a book in the corner i will sit here and i will read a magazine while i look at a bunch of people i can pass around but don't have to listen to oh heaven people talk about the new guy being a scary drunk so yeah because he is and then you see him shirtless in the water like whoa water well he was totally obnoxious he's like well i'm gonna he's like he's like margarita ring in my drink yeah i give you a hundo give you a hundo tip and then he later on he's like getting behind the bar he's like what i can do whatever i want i gave her a hundred dollar tip it's like no no no no that's the problem and he should know as basically a maid on a boat the tips don't mean that you get to control the person tip is an active appreciation you don't like then get to call the shots you don't get to drink a thousand dollars worth of free alcohol just because i got someone to get a hundred you'd them though it's called stealing and i don't think he is a maid on a boat i think he's just bravo casting he's like some rich kid who is surfing and they were like hey who this tv show is like looking for hot people on a boat and he's like yeah i've been i love boats like they go on water it's so fucking cool man like who invented the boat think about it so stupid okay so i'll just give you notes and then i'll let you comment here's that that's sure okay so rocky how cool is it to say i went surfing in the Bahamas and then i cleaned a carpet yeah i'm like i actually don't think it's that cool to say you went surfing in Bahamas like it's a pretty standard place to go surfing i imagine it'd be cool if you said if you said how cool is it that i said i went surfing in north korea okay that's cool how cool is it that i said i went surfing off the coast of guam that's cool how cool is it that i went surfing in a place where there's you know generally a lot of people surfing would it be cooler if i sing it i went surfing in the Bahamas before i entered the lint trap surfing surfing safari but no safari just a firefox or a chrome browse uh uh a dam spa dam spa shakespeare's back shakespeare's onto his next play called below deck amy is feeling in the middle of uh she's feeling hurt well yes in the middle of cake in the ship you know it's very difficult having two brilliant wonderful minds and then you're right in the middle of it i just feel like that person who's stuck in between two big minds i love having two people to be in between um well it was kind of funny because she says the case she's like well kate now that we got a lot closer i can tell you that sometimes when you and leon go at each other i kind of feel caught in the middle and the kids like oh well i guess we're not close it's like oh whoa so i thought you're you're not supposed to be in the middle you're supposed to be resolutely on my side at all times all right okay that's fine you know you're sitting on a fence instead of resting comfortably on my lawn so when you fall off and break your head on leon sidewalk please don't call me and please remember to paint the fence after you're done sitting on it thank you thank you and do it with the professional tone in your voice please please yeah please if i'm spending my heart if i'm i've worked hard for my money i'm getting what i want yeah fucking dane okay amy mrs roper shawl and rocking a snake skin cheetah mix top oh lord a meal with eye boogers looking all angry about vagina's not paying attention to him well i mean connie gave him meals such terrible advice and because uh what's her face uh decide rocky just like i'm gonna go to sleep slash try to have sex with eddie and instead uh then connie's like hey hey meal why don't you uh go try to have sex with her he's like oh i don't i guess i'll do it okay all right he's like but she said no and you want a cuddle she's like do it anyway follow her anyway i was like uh i don't know what that advice is very good to be giving somebody yeah kind of you may have to work on that a little bit eddie does a sideways hang on a strip of our meal binge eats and has cheese coming down his face four on the yeah i mean always that is she's just like the first person to actually leave to get fatter than they came in no no it's not it's too good looking to eat that way stop it and then dane starts telling drunken stories yeah oh dane tells us some story about like i didn't remember what it was just goes it goes on and on and uh it received the bravo treatment of of like five cross dissolves within one sentence to make it look like it was 20 minutes long and they're all bored and leaving at least kim richards her drunken rants are at least entertaining i mean this guy is just like yeah so like it's a beer and like i love beer because like you know i have like when you drink things there's like bubbles in your mouth i was like bro this crazy uh chairs so weird like you know when you're like sitting down once i'm uh it's funny with chairs it's like you know they it's like they fit perfectly with like on you like you sit on it and it like it holds you and it's like what else holds you you know what else holds you when you're not a baby it's kind of crazy it's like my dad would say that i mean it's not really my dad my stepdad but like we're real close i mean i guess i call my dad like because i have a dad and stepdad and like we love like putting guns over our our you know like our bed like i have a shotgun but everything to do is to get drunk and then take the shotgun off and just like shoot at things it's just great you know Amy's like his skin he is so boring that my skin went completely cold and i'm gonna use my palms to close my pores just like patting her face like i will close my pores while listening to this crazy person talk about things he's a customer he's a customer smiling take it he's handsome possibly single has an addiction might not be able to be fixed sometimes broken things stay in the house they may fuck yes sonny go after rocky dane alone at the ball uh Amy and Connie sneak just press pause when you want Amy and Connie sneak around to find their phone yeah yeah Connie let's her phone but they don't want to deal with danes they're trying to sneak up around him and then eddie's up there and that's when danes starts to get a confrontation you know he like takes he takes literally an entire bottle behind the bar which is not by the way his bar nor his bottle and he can't do that and then he wants to drink it and he's like yo he's like where are you going with that he's like put the bottle down put the bottle down put the dane don't fuck with me don't fuck with me damn it's being belligerent this is the job that you have applied for mr and on this job he's like yeah i have applied for a lot of jobs bro don't be a staple dude you're fucking staple you're a staple bitch is that like basic bitch i guess that's like the great version of basic bitch yeah i think he just made that i don't know he wasn't making sense he was doing that i like that though you're a staple bitch that is like the new basic that'll be my new old basic he basically was in that state when you're like really drunk or and like someone who's belligerent who's really drunk and then the world is against him like fuck all of you y'all fucking don't know man you don't know what the fuck i'm doing fuck you fuck you uh you're okay fuck you who's that from i think it's from half bakes fuck you fuck you fuck you you're cool fuck you yeah fuck you um yeah is that kind of guy and then Alex P Keaton he's like oh wow someone someone's out of control i'm gonna bring in some control all right cameras get this for the captain he's like listen here buddy you need to be more responsible he's like fuck you you little midget he's like oh yeah well i'm gonna point at your chest ah fuck you oh well i'm pointing and there's a thing called rules ah fuck you all right well that's it you put that bottle down put it down drop it drop it drop it i love you he's like i love your eddy impersonation he resorts to just straight up talking to a dog he's like drop it drop it so you're giving me the guiltiest look right now like i'm abusing him with my with my spirit i am telling it you drop the nothing you're holding do it Valentino drop it drop Pauline drop the jelly tart Valentino cup your hands below the jelly tarts catch it catch it Pauline beat it out Dean fights with girlfriend on phone well yeah so what happens is the next morning they're like fighting on the phone and then captain Lee calls him into the into the into the office or whatever it is uh captain whoa buddy i just wanted to have a talk with you go ahead and uh i'll sit down there and on yachts we sit down room we have meetings so go ahead and have a seat i noticed that i no longer have a sock tan on my ankle look at that all right small talks over yeah let's talk about you yeah it's probably because like um like you know i wasn't like acting myself on that trip yeah well that's one way to protect yeah acting like uh drunk idiot self with no education and no brains yeah and then he's basically like well i think um you know i think that maybe i have a decision to make like nobody i don't think it's up to you to make the decision here's your one way check it home here's your southwest stand by ticket here's your spirit island spirit and spirit airline flight ticket uh be careful do you know if they would decide to buy a beverage or take a bundle of socks it will charge you 35 per sock and i will not be reimbursing you for that so that's going to come out of your here's uh here's your southwest boarding group c final number in the boarding group ticket have fun on the way home you'll be stuck next to fatty mcfatterson and lady who's pregnant and has a mood board have fun bye bye luggage is free vousa i mean that's it those are your options heck one i'll save one for leon so and then dane the the best teenager answer that we've all used after getting fired yeah for the first time for not painting bowling rose properly there there's nothing to that story uh dane's reaction is like well yeah i was gonna come in and quit so like if he needs to fire me to make himself feel better than yeah i know i was like shut up dane like the captain is trying to save face yeah that dane quit oh he's gonna quit that's gonna make me look dumb butterfly arm yeah i really need to go on a power trip because manning an entire like multi-million dollar boat is not enough of a power trip for me and but you know what though firing dane that'll do it so stupid the difference between us is that it's actually in a rule book that i don't have to wear socks now that's called winning goodbye sir good day good day good day goodbye goodbye hey hold this clean x and hold the railing as you go down i want your fingerprints cleaned off that thing thanks a lot's idiot i love so then so then they come back i'm gonna hate this chef i hate this chef i love the captain but i said i love the chef i hate this chef oh yeah well they um hello can we have a meeting um may chef would you please have the time in your busy schedule to possibly have a important discussion about professional behavior in the kitchen he's like hey i got an idea i just made a whole cake tray and go fuck yourself you see word would you like one well that's not very professional chef ah all right yeah i just shit a bowl of professional tutorial it and i'm flushing it dane you want to come smell it go down kate we had a such an asshole he really is i mean i in the beginning of the season i thought his food look i mean his food does look really good but he is just such a such a puts darling i mean food looks good it always looks good food you can't give someone credit for food being delicious or they might as well as hungry when i watch yeah that's true yeah but i i do like that kate like i love those rounded square frosted pattern plates i know well you know i it was funny when kate you know called this meeting with her and leon because for a moment it looked like she wants to say you know what i know we've had our differences but let's just move on and be as professional as possible but no of course it's kate she's like leon i just want to talk about uh i'll have a meeting uh about your uh your blatant unprofessionalism and and like hopefully uh this next charter uh you can keep it together so we communicate and we won't uh struggle with your problems he's like you know what i think i think go fuck yourself all right well that's very professional so stupid yeah i like so then so then i think at that point then there was a meeting in the break or not the break but wherever the captain captain's room captain's captain's office i there's a there's a name for it but i can't know but the no it's not the break yeah it's not the break but um so basically the next charter guest is this guy who created tap out clothing which is associated with ufc whatever you know things like that and and they're like health nuts and they're like they want these guys want healthy food healthy food so we'll have some uh head back the uh flinks of a of a house nostril about scallops scallop scallop pancakes yeah it's scallop french twists and just scallop smoothie ah you know they'll want their protein shakes oh they'll bring their own protein because that's how people who work out do it you know i mean i when i work out i always bring my king size snickers because i'm a professional you know i care about my body that's right my eyebrows look all right i've got a lot of nut fought i've got enough how how lazy is he he was like all right well so i'll just okay still bring all the healthy stuff right and they're like no you should get it and you'll get it tonight right leon so we won't get backed up he's like oh well i'll see about that they've got granola don't they i mean that's what they do these healthy types they probably got bags of granola in the backpack all right see you later i'm taking all all right beef cheeks beef cheeks i'll be masturbating to the drawing of my futuroybras so um already you can tell that leon's gonna fuck something up and then um and then oh i have to note i'm so sorry okay yeah so alex rockie oh oh and leon actually says in this it's too easy yeah yeah i love that it's such a thing easier than frozen conk really so alex sits rocky okay so he's sexting alex beekeeping is in bed sexting rocky and she's in bed rubbing her boob and then he's like let's he's like hey i'm smart you know let's break a roll and do it on a laundry machine she's like mm-hmm all right well that sounds exciting i love laundry he's gonna make me bounce stupid rocky you know her head's always going up and down and like her face is always scrunching and she looks like she had that laugh figure out a layer on photoshop and she had that laugh like a little woodland creature like a little it's like a like i can't even do it it's like it's like a but not it's like like a weird like little chipmunk laugh like yeah so you hear it from like under a house yeah it's like a really scary thing like it means trolls are coming or gremlins it's like oh no i can i can't do it i'm trying every single type of giggle and they are all not quite right they're all working for me actually i can i can hear her under there it's sort of like god who's listening who's listening to ellen green's greatest hits under the house standing beside me donin makeup sorry ooh she goes in and bones him in the laundry room it's like oh yeah oh all right we've got time to leave this is trying our different laugh fonts i know i just can't wait for someone who's looking at podcasts right now like their co-worker walks by like god what you listen to oh it's great part yeah so kind of here's some of it's like basically sound like jason and pride of thirteenth petting zoo i love petting zoos that's totally no live disease um the other one got too near the poop or she has lumps disease forever etton aspirin welcome to the 90s i always love the uh tour of the boat every time it makes you laugh it's basically just the same footage over over but it just kills me it's like i know welcome to the 90s robert kulei farted on this bed once and joy and they're like yeah bro that's awesome dude and you immediately think probably i thought immediately that they're going to be dicks just because they're hot and that's not really fair you know yeah they were yeah i thought they were gonna be dicks too because they were hot tattooed i mean not um and they were into UFC no they seem like they're pretty nice uh what cracked me up the main guy i forget his name but he had a girlfriend one of these typical women whose sole role in life is to be as skinny as possible and bank someone who's rich i mean let's just be honest that's what she was and she the way she would walk around that boat she's like thank you thank you wow do you have kel i love kel's salad so please make sure that you've got like kel's step kel thanks she's a big Kardashian voice oh god she was so ridiculous and then they went to uh they were gonna go hunting for lobster which is like the the last season it was to bust out the slide the season it's lobster hunting i mean that they must be out of lobster in this ocean at this point and they're sitting there they wait we they're waiting and waiting and waiting for her she's like doing her skin and her boobs around everything and her hair and we find out later that they waited like 45 minutes to an hour oh god that got me so mad i hate that so much i hate i hate waiting for one person when the whole group is there waiting for one person but especially when it's just like some asshole crimping and over crimping for a lobster hunting session just like get over yourself yes like making sure that all the hair pieces are in place and yeah she's like bronzing herself and making sure her big old fake tits are like standing properly on top of her top rib bone stop it you know and the problem is that she's the sort of person who's had everyone wait for her all her life she's clearly like a like a spoiled brat on a certain level where she gets away with this because everyone waits for her that's the girl who got like a boob job for her 12th birthday you know those girls their parents are like well she just wanted boobs so we got them for her now she feels so confident wasn't that great honey and she's like yes now everybody loves my boobs now my cheeks now my eyes now oh you're so beautiful princess i need rich man i never have to do anything Jesus Christ like you're literally whoring yourself out to some rich dude come on yeah i it really it really makes me mad and you know you know it's just she is uh she sort of represents a type of person and it's the type of person that i hate yeah that's like yeah that's like 18 percent of the whole foods by my house i that's why i talk about it so much i want to go one there and just start screaming it's all it's not all those people but it's a lot of those people just saying um yesterday you have this kale but it was in in oil and there was too much oil i'm like in it do you have like a version with no oil and then i can put my own on like is it mixed already like do you have can i wait can you do that while i wait it's like no bitch it's some fucking crappy manny's oil salad on the salad bar whole foods it's salt and milk and grossness no they're not gonna fucking remake it for you right now while i'm trying to get a slice of pizza move your stupid stilettos over and get your hair out of my fucking face before i pull it out stop just get out of here thank you i got my own money just thank you thank you um i love that i'm mad about her just basically horing herself out for some man's use and you're mad at her for making people wait for me wait well no i i'm mad at her for horing yeah no it's both of those things i'm just that's the thing i i really do hate though i really do hate when people make you wait a really long time and all you're doing is just to make yourself look better like i really don't like that to look good to go lobster diving yeah i mean i know i think she thought this was gonna be her big break she's like it's a bravo cameras yeah um she's like um honey did you have your power time shark and leon of course doesn't have protein shakes he did not get protein shit that was the best part you know he said he got premixed drinking a can and they're like no bro or geriatrics Amy says it's for geriatrics Amy you've mortified now that that is just what you give old people i know because i used to pour it in a wine glass and pretend i was going on a date with my grana blue he grabbed my butt once and then he just stopped returning my coz you know i saw a sea turtle once and then they get real old so i put it in a marching glass i was like sea turtle let's have a day i know you're old you like this he was like no ma'am and he just swam off i was like okay i'll drink it for you bye the first day that i went on with the sea turtle i said why do you move so slow you don't have to be slow i believe that you have spied any so i gave him some of that geriatric drinking he died i'm still heating over that well that was a tough one i threw him back in i really you know we i thought there was hope for us you know he was really shut off like he just was really in his own shell and i thought i could really draw him out but no that was just actually just what he does when he sees humans so i guess we just never got off the right foot or the flipper in his case every time every time i'm in the middle of the ocean and i'm at that part of the ocean where you don't see land like you can't see anything well that's where i left that poor little turtle and i still think of him every time we pass that point i say bye turtle i could have loved you ah you're good enough you can you'll be faster in having turtle bye i think the most awkward moment that we ever had was on our first date when sea turtle was like what's the fate what's your favorite thing to eat on a date and i said oh i love turtles and he got all scared no i said no sea turtle i'm in the chocol in the caramel in the nuts and he was like no i don't believe you and we just never got we never got past that that's for sure i'm so our team turtle died i went back to finish up the date and even there that tea party was a mansion area i got a bill i still got stuck with the bill i'm telling you i have the worst dates it's late turtle um i like it every week we get we put on a date with a different different creature from the sea um so um at some point also there was dinner i don't know if dinner i'm gonna put a scallop so they want healthy things and he's like well what's healthier than a scallop flash frozen the minute trade it just catches it am i right so he makes up a couple of lame ass scallops and they're like gross and the well i wait i will say this the scops i mean in terms of healthiness the scops are fine and uh they look good yeah i think of course they're healthy but these got these people were just like ill scallops yeah but it's black a bugger yeah but anyway go on yeah they were kind of they kind of didn't get it which was funny um and well say that i'll say that at the end um cave cave love this she's like oh leon i don't think they were liking the scallops that much hmm that's weird i would like you to notice how professional i'm being chef when i mentioned that the guests ask that we decapitate you in front of them so that they can eat your head without being cooked because it would still be better than the scallops you just cooked okay chef it'll just be a five-minute meeting thank you do you have do you have a chef's coat that you can wear for it do you okay great great and of course he won't even talk to her and he's still so mad about the same stupid thing because he's an arrogant blow heart and he can't get past anything and he's so offended that a woman which bears speak to him like this ever and so he just does the typical not speaking her and slamming frozen food down on the table and he says things like that i hate people like this and then he goes up to the tango with me it takes two cake say you want a little tango for and i'll give you a take i'm like stop talking about tangoing you never tangoed in your life you're like 50 pounds overweight you're single you're stuck in the middle of a notion with nobody and nothing and you can't even keep friends with people who are actually trying to be nice to you because there's a camera around you're in there exactly get up and then he goes up and he then he goes up and he meets with the people and he's like all smiles and trying to be like oh i guess the scallops no no scallopeders yo that's all right that's all right that's all right he's like oh laughing like hey i'm easy going Leon he comes back down he's grumbling and he's like hey Leon you know i tried your scallops i thought it was delicious i think you know just not everyone has an adventurous palette it doesn't say anything and she's like oh i like get it now Kate i'm no longer on the fence oh she really went in though she i was kind of proud of her because yeah me too it was actual not passive it was passive but it wasn't overly aggressive it was just it is her place to say something for christ sake like that is her job she was being she was being supportive she's like this it was really good she was checking him for sure she's like yeah chef you know i just really i'm just you are so talented i mean that those plays they are just delicious but i've noticed that maybe you're a little oh yeah that's right you're right the burn down you're not really a feeling it are you feeling funny because i understand you need a hug and he's like mmm like grumbling and slamming food because the guests because here's another woman because the guests had asked requested a chicken quesadilla and so then he's like all mad and they're like it's the easiest thing you can make but she she was saying like you know maybe are you getting burned out like you sort of make the same thing every time maybe you know when you do that maybe get burned out and he's like fuck off fuck off yeah and he's like for me a chef you know i mean that's just about creativity and look at you she's so creative because you're a chef so i know that there's creativity in there but you just keep making the same thing over i mean you have you could blow them away if you wanted to do you want to do you want to well he said no he didn't know she was like well if i what he's like if i wanted to i could if i wanted to really he basically did the same like it was a variation of what dane what you're talking about dane and the you know talk about the power trip how like as a teenager you'd be like well i was gonna quit anyway you know this is well i you know if i wanted to blow them away i could if i wanted to it's like no yeah you and that's that was actually a really pissed off amy because then she went to keith and was like if you wanted to shouldn't it should be like and she's right every single time you should be trying to blow them away and not like you decided that like you don't want to blow them away now that she is burned out and a.k.a cruise line chef cruiser you know if i go to sleep and i know that someone is up in their cabin right now and they are pulling out their wiener to go pee pee and they look down there and they see that that toilet paper is not folded into a diamond i know that i've just affected their feelings and that i can't sleep who doesn't care about their job that is this is crazy i just don't get it you know i would totally hire that girl to do anything ever oh 100 and kate too to be honest you know when i when i was like you know i know things didn't work out with me and see turtle but you know i tried i gave it a hundred and ten percent i didn't leave anything on the table i left it all there i left it all there i gave it all leon i don't get burnt out i just move on to the next thing hey jolly fish you shouldn't be burning out you should be burning up with excitement for work come on leon he's like die die bitch or drown me in this i'm going to knock you over the head with the freezing conch that i'm going to drown me in the sink and the water feels slowly because we're on a boat so i'm going to watch you squirm he's like nah that's what i like passion good job good talk man she's so uh Alex P Keaton is whistling around the boat now because he got some pussy he got some crazy music and you know Alex P Keaton loves the crazy pussy because he will only date crazy people he's only attracted to crazy people and he got rocky on the laundry machine so he's like ah hello everybody wow great job on those rules did somebody dust this picture frame amazing whoops smells like delicious food in here great job leon bonzo bonzo bonzo bonzo bonzo it's like the beauty and the beast chick walking down the street and everybody's so nice because she's just all over stuff fucking cheering but then she passes and they're like did belle get some dikos nice she's very nice she's usually a bitch but today she's nice hello everybody good morning good morning hello my goodness rachies vagina probably saying like sunrise sunset poorly and he was like wow i'm amazing well at least he wasn't doing anything from Aladdin like one step da da da da da da da da da stealing things from stalls they're way too white to do things from Aladdin they can't even do that ironically clear them clear eddy good mood cuz pussy compliments client wife um oh yeah it's our oh not wife girlfriend it's our anniversary how about a surprise like maybe you guys could get him like tortillas and cheese because he says he likes healthy things but quesadillas a mando wait a way to amance wallet is through cheese and too tortilla's get me girl and kate's like yes i will make an order she's like oh my god we think just alike if you want a hug and then they hug it's like yeah out of here yeah get out you stupid stupid Kardashian want to be you're probably making people wait for you while you're back here hugging her yeah uh rocky on lee on side um well yeah right yeah just tate made her do laundry or whatever so now she hates kate no matter what to that well you know it's really difficult when people are trying to keep you from being your amazing inner positive beautiful wonderful self and you know so i'm behind lee on it's like what you couldn't cook chicken right so it figures that that would be your hero okay now Alex mucks the guests on tv yeah they were making fun of yeah that was that was sort of amusing i thought it's i feel like um it's a it's a bold move to do that on tv as a professional yeah and they're just laughing it's like yeah bro stretch oh yeah that stretch up doing the little arms circles little arms circles meanwhile i mean i was like i mean i was like working at ridiculous do i have any more that french bread down there get some mayonnaise on it show the den my face on piece and he tries to give nice advice to chef okay we already did that amy and kate meeting uh he blamed the produce love that yeah that's right he blamed the produce that's what he does he blames the produce i never blamed the produce for what happened me and say turtle mmm rocky after dinner maybe eddie can fish around and pull oh yeah so further big surprise rocky's like guys i have a mermaid tail they're like we know i'm surprised that kate was down with us i mean maybe she maybe she was hoping that rock would get into trouble i think maybe kate is just exhausted by it because she's like we were thinking that like eddie would pretend to fish me out of the water and kids like oh i thought kate would be like okay well let's workshop that but instead she was like okay write that down in an excel grid and send that over to me and be sure that there's pumping music behind you when you write it okay but instead she was like yeah um yeah okay well rocky has figured out how to deal with kate because really kate is that manager who just wants respect and she wants you to take it seriously or whatever so rocky's like oh well we can do my mermaid and kate looked like she wanted to make herself vomit the nothing she ate today she's like i want you to please die she's like how about that for entertainment and then rocky goes now i just think that there's maybe like a spark and there's that special something that we always have on this boat and i think that they really need to feel that extra bit of attention and spark and kate's like well said you have a pass you are what you have act to alter yourself yeah very well done brava young lady she's like oh i did it thanks mom yeah um i think that he's growing up she's going to know how to do laundry she's going to know how to get things yeah and kate you know probably in her mind she's like well you know these are basically just like rich white trash people so they'll like a mermaid coming up onto the yacht be the fuck here so then this counts as like high class arts in their treatment they'll be in bed by seven yeah it was either this or make a meal act like a MacGyver again yeah um i can't have the captain come down and do his matlock impression again no one really likes that let's be honest all right well here's what i think it was the neighbor i said at the end so then um then there's dinner and they get basically surf and turf and uh the guy is like uh i'd like to speak to leon about the steak and so leon's like oh these fuckers are all fucker produce produce and he gets me to chef jacket and they're like all right what and he's like big improvement on the steak bro way to go it's great it's it's the way i like my steak super great great job you redeemed yourself bro grace in our logo congrats bro we wanted to tell you in person because like the comment cards i mean god it's like we all have to wait for her to finish writing jesus christ we'll be here till next week all right bro thanks bro he's like so that it's right oh i know how to make a steak so you can suck my dick cake did they make sticks that warm up the warm up shifts to that cake that's right it's like he's still way too angry fine leon i'm going to need you to lower your voice thank you leon where where are the uh schmears and the special colored sauce dots yeah yeah so then um i think you know because they spent so much time on dane in the beginning they kind of rushed through this charter so we didn't even get our customer wearing they didn't do shit on the strainer but i don't like how at the end oh i'm sorry were you going into a scene or the end well i was just going to say that they they skipped over the customary the uh the customary yacht coming into the dock drama of like all right oh my god we got all right get the fenders out get the fenders out oh no the wind rope going at 30 knots per hour oh my god 30 knots oh my five knots oh no anchor up anchor down ropes ropes for valor oh yeah that's totally i wrote you know this episode is in trouble when they even park the boat right it was just kind of like oh we're here and then once again everyone packs up and they're all waiting for that bitch all waiting for that bitch and then she finally comes down an hour later and she's like oh did you guys like pack last night or something and they're like no thanks thanks for having me and the guy as he's leaving is really nice the head charter guy yeah he says we're new money guys we're new money and like we were poor like a week ago and so looking how much you know you guys really represent like pornis and like working and like like how much you work so like thank you for still being poor because it's better to have people to serve us thanks guys here's a money hug and this is after posing with the money with that stupid girlfriend in her stiletto heels and bronze fake boobs and i like some up to that point i like them up to that point and then when he's doing that taking pictures for instagram with like a wad of money and like he's like yo man i don't do an envelope i show you how much money i'm giving you i'm like oh you are new money you really are like just stop you're just awful posing with a stupid bitch and this like this wad of money like what a douche bag like i i guarantee this guy lives in orange county i guarantee it but at least he's nice and admits it he's like okay here's some cash and i'm a rich yeah yeah a nice douche i mean a nice hot douche exists doesn't everyone want a nice hot douche good for a tumble i do i'll tell you that much i'd like a mean douche and i any kind of douche really anybody he doesn't have to be i mean they usually are but whatever just in whatever you have the leftovers that's my favorite show i really identify with that show all right thank you bye and then she leaves all her hair there which yeah the girls immediately party with putting their vagina and uh connie immediately no don't don't do i mean isn't it feasible that the woman's gonna call me like oh hey i left my hair i mean the drawer uh can i get it back and like oh oh yeah sorry uh put it in my vagina already yeah it was in my vagina and so now it smells like peanut butter but i mean i'll send it back to you like maybe you could windex it i can't believe she left her hair there i mean what an idiot sorry i forget my hair if it wasn't sewn on to me and i literally did like i get where that saying comes from now you guys yeah like it's like that saying hair today and gone somewhere i don't know what was the rest of that saying again i don't know it's like that saying waste not want not like that's why i don't because i never make waste because then i'm like like who wants not nobody right it's like that old saying like remember to sew the hair to your head because you never know when you're leaving in a drone and yeah i love that saying from the bible the golden rules because i totally agree get me all that i can't believe i lost my hair um hello tech boy now oh no they had a night off and partied and then rocky and what's his buns did it again yep and then uh connie left a bath running wacky another wacky connie moment i know it's like i was in charge of the bath and then i don't know how to turn off the faucet yeah the bathtub uh bubbles were everywhere and i was like wow you guys actually made a decent phone party without even trying well done too late but you finally did it you know and and they and they even let Amy hang out with them oh god i got friends girl talk guess why do you keep putting bubbles down my throat oh gosh guys i can't bring you guys we're having a party in the bathtub the goal is to see how long you can hold your head under okay not fine so that's the end of below dick wow what an episode this may have been our longest podcast of all time well look at all that important stuff we talk to all that coffee tables coffee tables 30 minutes on coffee tables if that doesn't win us a news week newsman award of the year nothing will be i mean i clearly see us on the fast track to south by south west here accepting the award for best uh podcasts at the whatever podcast maybe if we have an actual coffee table podcast because i don't think anyone's doing that yet a podcast about coffee tables yeah like really cool coffee table like like Kramer's book about coffee tables oh he has one already damn it i'm so an original it's old no remember that's like a classic sign filled or Kramer okay don't forget it then how about a coffee table book that had legs like a coffee table no then instead let's write a sitcom about friends in new york you don't do anything and there's like a wacky neighbor oh yeah uh what about a sitcom about just like a bunch of like people and boss and just hanging out at a bar oh my god cheers what a good idea cheers to you cheers to you what about oh you know i'd love you know that a great place where there all sorts of wacky characters would be like if you went to like a courthouse but like what if you went at night oh my god like night court yeah like a night court people with jobs oh god how about if we do like an orphanage well not like an orphanage but like a boarding school and it's like all these rejected kids but make them all semi-cute and then um like have them have like it really deep issues like trying to save up change and stuff like that oh my god and then be like just learning sort of like just like the facts of life right you know just those basic things yeah just learning things like oh i want them to learn so much that it becomes a boarding i mean it goes from a boarding school to a candy store yes yes yeah because that's a natural well because i mean if if the boarding school were to burn down i think a candy store would be a really good way to you know to earn back those funds and then i was also thinking um another really good sitcom idea would be like something kind of like a little out of left field like what if like a hairy alien arrived and you had to keep them secret that'd be cool right i think that's a good sitcom idea oh that was a good one i remember watching that outflow so many times and thinking it was so good and then i saw it years later and i was like this was never even close to being good yeah i had that same feeling terrible like beyond terrible and here i am celebrating its terrible terribleness again what a way to end the show Ben thanks for ruining my day Valentina clear Ben Valentina call the osmotics make sure they don't see alph bye everybody thank you so much for being here today it was fun talking to you have a great weekend thanks for supporting us on the patreon.com/watchwalkcrapins go get those bonus episodes we're doing our google hangout live next week next thursday it's going to be so much fun and that's the week of i may i don't even know what's the date today's our week of the 20 somethingish it's the 15th so it'll be the 22nd so that's going to be super phone and then after that uh that's it we hug you everybody hugs hugs to everybody David hugs and hugs and hugs good darling next week is the real housewives of Orange County reunion part one where Vicki is confronted about lying about cancer wondering about lying about cancer lying about lying about cancer what what all right all right love you guys everybody bye bye if you like watch what crapins you can listen ad-free right now by joining wonderie plus in the wonderie app or on apple podcast prime members can listen ad-free on amazon music before you go tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wonderie.com/survey have you ever wondered who created that bottle of sriracha that's living in your fridge or why nearly every house in america has at least one game of monopoly introducing the best idea yet a brand new podcast about the surprising origin stories of the products you're obsessed with listen to the best idea yet on the wonderie app or wherever you get your podcasts
