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Thankfully, Fylo has changed that for me. One service, all the stuff I need. Fylo's got current seasons of the shows I can't miss. Live on networks like A&E, Paramount, Discovery, and TLC. Classics like The Office, Martin, and Friends that I never get sick of. And all the incredible originals on AMC+ from Mad Men Hello to Orphan Black. And don't forget their library of more than 75,000 movies and shows, all of which I can save and rewatch any time for a whole year. Never miss a minute of shows like The Golden Girls. You know I'm always watching The Golden Girls and Fylo has it. Best of all, with Fylo, you get all of this for just $28 a month. No contract, no hassles. Just one subscription and a world of entertainment. So go to Fylo.tv and check it out for a free seven day trial. That's P-H-I-L-O dot TV to start watching. Texture is the mobile app that lets you tap directly into the world's most popular magazines anytime, anywhere, using your phone or tablet. Try Texture for free right now when you go to texture.com/crapins. Watch what crappins. Watch what crappins. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappins. Crapins. Crapins. Crapcrap. Crapcrap. Crapcrap. Crapcrap. Crapcrap. Crapins. Watch what crappins. Watch what crappins. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappins. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappins. This episode of Watch what crappins is brought to you by our premium Patreon subscribers, Claudia Catalina and Christy Daugherty. Yay! Hey everyone, welcome to Watch what crappins. The podcast that all that stuff on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker from BsideBlog.com and the Banta Blender podcast. And joining me as always is the hilarious, the multi-talented, lovely, and perfectly wonderful. Ronnie Karam from TrashTalkTV.com. Hi Ronnie. Hello Ben. How are you today? Hello everybody. I'm good. I'm so excited to be here. Oh, I'm excited for you to be here too. Even though we act you're not in the same place. Oh, we're both in the same heart. Yeah, we record this podcast like the Kevin and Bean Radio show where one of them's in LA and one of them's in Seattle except the difference is that Ronnie and I are like three quarters of a mile away instead. And two ladies together. Point is, Ben, we have been baptized and so that makes us family automatically because you've been baptized too. Yeah, I've been baptized although I still don't believe in Jesus which is sort of weird. Have you been baptized? I was totally kidding. No, no, I haven't been baptized. Oh, I was gonna say, whoa, you'll do anything at a party. I've been bar mitzvahd. That was my baptism. I got bar mitzvahd. Yeah, no. I mean, I've been in water if that was the question. I have been in water. It's not the same thing. You don't get your sins cleaned every time you take a shower. People wouldn't be masturbating during it. There's nothing sexy about like having your sins cleansed. Well, cleanliness is godliness. So if I take a shower, I'm being more godly. Maybe? You know what? Since God invented your crazy logic in the first place, I'm gonna call it acceptable. Look, Cameron was not drowned in that community pool. So I think that God's pretty much okay with us doing it. He really means it when he says pretty well. Yeah, he do. He do. So everyone, come join us on Facebook, facebook.com/watchwhatcrapins. We have the best Facebook page out. I'm just gonna actually say that. It is truly the best Facebook page in all of the entire place. So good. And you know what, in the past two days, this real housewives of Orange County stuff and plus just other stuff that you guys are posting and we're posting, there's over like 250 comments, I think, in the past couple of days. Yeah, you guys are talking. Our post engagement is currently at, well, it's at over 3000. I love you. Well, that's what it says on the side there. The first engagement. It was the first stat that I saw. It says over 3000. And you guys should all know that our response time is two hours. So that's not so bad. If you send us a message, you know, just go out and do something. Go see a movie and when you come back, you might have heard from us. No, but we don't care about those stats. What we do care about is that, that the page is really awesome. And we are 24 people away from hitting 5,000 likes. We're gonna do it. Oh, and last week was, last Thursday was episode 227 and we did not do. I know that was actually our biggest failure. You know, we always joke about how we always miss our milestone episodes. This one's things a lot missing 227, but I can't believe that you did a podcast and didn't mention 227 Mary. Oh, one of my favorite shows of all time. I can't believe we didn't honor it. But you know, we honor it now. Well, I honor Pearl from 227 every day by sitting at my window and looking at people with this interest. I honor Lester by walking around and not understanding what these bitches are talking about. And we're gay. So naturally, our DNA on this decade. Yeah, we honor her every single day, every single moment. And of course, Brenda, AKA Regina King. Oh my God, yes. Still doing wonderful things with her life. She has a great career going on. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And by the way, I'd like to honor this theme song, which is one of my favorite theme songs of all time, probably behind, I would say, I would say it's behind Amen, which I love. I love the Amen theme song behind Mr. Belvedere, which I think is an unsung hero in the theme song universe. And I wouldn't have been able to just sing this song, but I know it. I love it. What was Mr. Belvedere's had that one go? I can play it. It is honestly my, probably my favorite, one day at a time is also a favorite of mine. I know people like the big ones, like growing pains, et cetera. Yes. Mr. Belvedere, do you say yes ma'am to no place? I don't know. So let me tell you something, Mr. Belvedere, what I like about it, first of all, it starts on a very sophisticated note as it should. And then it just, it just gets down into the funk. All right. Are you ready? Sweaters. Sweaters. That's the whole song in my memory. Sweaters. I'm wearing a sweater. Yes. Yes, sir. I'm wearing a sweater. I don't hear it. I've got a peeks on the china. Never matter before. Okay. I'm going to kick the jacket. When you walk in the door, no one blared. This is very, like, it's like southern Dixie or some things. Yeah. We can get done, done, done. According to our new arrival, life is more than ever survival. And we're just my little good life yet. Now classy again, because it is British or someone's British on the show. And then here's some Bob Euchre. Well, it's not really Bob Euch. It's more like it represents Bob Euchre, a little sass at the end. First, I thought this is not very Mr. Belvedere, but then of course it's sung by a complete hick, who need help of an intelligent person. And you know he's intelligent because they are actual pianos or garage band. Hey, they all right garage band. Now there's also a whole genre of instrumental theme songs, of which I would put I think the givers at the top of that one. And then what's happening or could go the other way around. You have way different ones than me. I didn't even remember that Mr. Belvedere song. Well, that's why I said it's an unsung hero because no one remembers it. Everyone goes to growing opinions, which is also a fabulous theme song. But there's certain ones that people always go to and the ones that are forgotten and Mr. Belvedere really needs to have more attention. Well, sometimes when things are unsung, it's because people don't like the songs. So they don't sing. I'll tell you one thing, I sing those. I sing Mr. Belvedere more than I would like to admit. Streets on the China never matter before. There's nothing to be ashamed about when you have a niece fetish, like a niece TV themed fetish. I'm just glad I was able to share that. And we still haven't finished the introduction of our podcast. It's a podcast about Bravo. Now let's listen to Mr. Belvedere. 20 minutes of intros for shows that aren't Bravo. It's your fault. You brought back the specter of 227. It's your fault, Ronnie. You can't just do that. You can't just do that. Well, something has to be said, you can't just pretend it never happened. I'm glad you did. So I never forget other other housekeeping things are that for other social media, including our vine, which we've been active on and having a really good time with, just go to watchercrapins.com. All our links are there. And if you look around, book around on iTunes or whatever, you could hear us on Patti Stanger's podcast, which is an interesting listen. And I'm going to be actually on Amy Phillips's show tomorrow, her radio show on Sirius. All her. Only the 24th. Don't worry. She asked you first. No, no, no. It wasn't a thing of that. I think she said she wasn't able to have both of us on at the same time, which is too bad. But we love Amy. So that's going to be two Wednesdays in a row starting with Wednesday, October 14th. I will be on on Amy's show on Radio Andy on Sirius. Following week, Ronnie will be on. I think I'm on the 24th. Isn't that the following week? I don't know. Right. That wasn't seven plus. That whatever you did. That wasn't seven. Yeah. Well, we'll have it on our Facebook. How many times does that show on? Is that like an everyday thing? Oh, I wanted to tell you been to in the Facebook messaging thing. Somebody sent us a message and it said, you guys, Amy Poehler has a show on Sirius XM, you have to do it. You would you would be so good on it. And I was like, Amy Poehler is so rich that she's like, fuck it. I'm going to do a show about housewives on Sirius. Like, yeah, I've done everything I have to do. And so I was Googling it. And of course, you couldn't find it. It's Amy. Amy Poehler. Amy Poehler. I suspected that. And I figured we would clarify that right here on the air. Yeah. I even asked Amy, she said, well, you do my podcast? I said, that's so funny, because I was just thinking, I wish I knew somebody serious so I could ask them about Amy Poehler. I'm so stupid. She's like, uh, Nevermind. This is how rumors start, by the way. This is how rumors start. So, um, so that's, that's all the good stuff. That's everything you need to know. And if there's other stuff, you know, we'll interrupt. Oh, Patreon. Oh, yeah. Thank you, everybody. So much for Patreon. When you go there and support us, obviously, this is always going to be free. But when you support us, we do bonus episodes every week. And, um, there are ringtones and Google Hangouts, which the next one should be coming up in. Oh, yeah. You're right. Uh, probably is it next week, right? We're going to do our Google Hangout next week. So a week from Thursday. Mm-hmm. And of course, you know, we have to give a shout out to our super sponsor of the month, courtesy of her beautiful, adorable, wonderful husband. You know who I'm talking about, don't you? Jessica. Jessica. Jessica. She's like that song, Jessica. Birthday month is over. But the love for you is forever. Jessica. Jessica is a super sponsor. She gets a shout out every episode for this month. Um, and then when the month is over, we forget her. Then she's gone because unlike her beautiful husband, we didn't marry her. Just kidding. Happy still birthday. She's, he's probably taking her on a dinner cruise around the Catalina Islands right now for all we know. Romantic man. Yes. Okay. So let's move on to the show being okay. So we're going to talk about we are going to talk about Real Housewives of Orange County Finale, Real Housewives of New Jersey, Teresa checks in. Um, I think that's all we're talking about, right? Yeah. This show needs to just be called Teresa still has fucking money. What? Yeah. How? Um, yeah. I think we should, let's start with OC because I, you know, I want to start in a positive place. Okay. I don't want to, because otherwise I'm going to be hating on OC is so OC with its fake Christianity and like Jesus for, uh, TV ratings and fake cancer. And you're right. It's an amazing, we'll start with the positive. Well, I mean, it's been an amazing season. I do love this. Oh, it has. It was a great season. This juxtaposition of pseudo spirituality, um, turning the leaf mixed with a witch hunt, you know, a cancer witch hunt is really one of the most amazing juxtapositions we've ever seen on any of these shows. Well, the most spiritual story ever told ends with the crucifixion. That's true. And so did this episode of fun and games in the Bible leaving. And this episode ended with a crucifixion, actually. So, you know, this really was, this is the origins of Christianity is this episode, right? Today, we're going to study how the real housewives has influenced religion before it even knew it was doing it. Yeah, you guys, it is that deep. It's the greatest story ever told, right? Isn't that what it is? I've separated this, uh, 18 pages of notes with equal, like lines of equal signs so that I can see very clearly when to move on because I needed a binder. I need a colored. I have a color-coded binder for all of this. It's just crazy. Oh, yeah. So, um, well, it starts with Tamara getting ready for the big old baptism, right? She's taking a look at everything around. Party planner. She has the risk of the party planner for her baptism because that's what you do when you get baptized. Yeah, get a party planner. That's right. And so that bitches registered someplace too. Yeah, it's not a Bible gift shop. And she learns that there's going to be a choir that's going to sing a song for her when she rides out of the water. And in my mind, I'm like, okay, so it's probably going to be something by a quiet riot or motley crew, uh, maybe, maybe winger, you know, I can't imagine it's going to be anything too spiritual. I want to know when love is. She's going to emerge. It's going to be like schools out for summer. Maybe it'll be just priests. That'd be good. Oh, what if it was just something completely opposite to what we would even think? Like, it's not something harsh at all. It's like, I think we're alone now. It doesn't seem to be anyone around Jesus. It's probably like if Jesus has a thorn. Yeah, for thorn has Jesus. Something like that, right? That's your wish a cup and bath hot lightning. That's actually, that's probably more like it. Gonna listen up this baptism. Gonna listen up this baptism. Everything's just like a weird owl version of pussycat dolls, but around baptism. I'm out of pussycat doll songs already. No, they have that stupid song. That's like a lot of pussycat dolls. Don't they have that stupid song that's like, that was all their songs. It's like, blink a text game. They have that stupid song that I can think of as don't you wish a girlfriend was hot like me. I'm gonna listen up this button up. They have that song, you know how when you're, oh stick with you, stick with you. I'm gonna stick with you, Jesus. Oh, pussycat dolls. Oh, they have this song called, I hate this part. Remember this song? I hate this part right here. That would be the song that that would, that would sing to her. Every breath you take. Maybe they'll do, I can't breathe under the water batch. Maybe they'll just use some old school Enya. Maybe it'll be like, book of days. Ha, ha, ha, ha. I don't know. Hey, Beth, why are they just making noise? Why aren't they saying words? Why they're just going, that's Enya, right? Who does that one? It's like, well, she does that. And she mixes it up. She goes, maybe it's Enya singing pussycat dolls. Don't you wish your girlfriend were hot like me. Oh, Enya. I barely even know ya. Oh, my God. So, yes. So Tamara is getting ready for hot batches on my dad. Batch. She's like, I can't wait. I'm gonna, I'd like Tamara's innocent person voice because it's a totally different tone than her evil Tamara voice with. She has like raccoon squint and now she tries to open her eyes real. I really thought it was surgery, but it's not. She's just not squinting her eyes in these scenes because she's got Jesus. And she talks in a different voice. I can't wait to be baptized. I'm gonna wash away my sins and start over. I'm getting my simple boobs taken out and I'm getting completely new fresh bounce. Fresh ones that are full of prayers. And Pastor Mike is like, it's a real important day. Yeah, so important. And he's like freshly jailed and spray tan. Where he's wearing, literally wearing board shorts, literally wearing board shorts. Yeah, Orange County. So then. I love Pastor Mike. I love a guy. I love a pastor because that's how church, I mean, I know he has to get in the pool, but still that's so how church is now. They're like, come and board shorts. We accept you. There's nothing in the Bible against board shorts. All right. Let's watch the preacher on this megatron screen right after the rock band scene. Every rest Jesus takes. There's, there's a church right right near here called mosaic. And every Wednesday, they have some function where people come to pray. But before they pray, there's like a DJ outside. And they're all like trendy and wearing like little fedoras. And they're all gorgeous people, gorgeous hipsters about to get their Jesus on. And it is like blowing my mind. Yeah, mostly thin. None of them really look desperate enough to have the level of religion they need. Yeah. Yeah. They're not like on death row. That's when you're really religious, like when you're about to die or when you were attacked on Twitter after being a batch last year, something usually I'm not saying all you know what I'm saying. I'm saying like when people convert, it's usually something very, very drastic. You don't convert when you're 47 unless you're on death row or you're a batch on Twitter. Or you need a storyline on a reality TV show. Yeah. So then everyone starts getting people coming over to the baptism, Shannon and David, the original bird that brought messages that of Twitter was inspired by the Bible. Ben, this podcast is officially in the grand. It's so deep. Continue. It's so deep. It's so deep. So Shannon and David climb into their limo and David's like, Oh, dear, these pants are so tight. I mean, she's like, well, that's what happens when you go from a 36 to a 32. He's like, Oh, that's what happens when I stick my finger up your ass because you lose a piece of plastic up there. And she's like, Honey, can we please stop talking with the ass talk? Can we please seriously drop it? It's like, no, Shannon, sorry, you lost that right. You had your husband give fist to you before a baptism. Wow, that's black love. I like that David. Dear, sorry, I had to remember who he was for a minute. Dear, this is a great ride riding with you in this limo. You sure I can't get you something before we go Brunswick? What is that, David? It's a brand of bowling ball, babe. When we put my fingers in her butt, oh, you like a bowling ball, David, David, David, David, we are in the car. David, you know that you took your mistress to many bowling allies. You know, I resent being compared to a bowling ball. It just reminds me of her, David. You said only candle pin bowling with your mistress, but now I find out you're doing regular bowling. David's like bowling. Uh, it just keeps rolling, no matter whose fingers have been in the holes or what the score is, things just keep rolling. There's no counter for negative thoughts on the electronic scoreboard, but the ball keeps going and sometimes pins get knocked down. You know, it's appropriate you took your mistress bowling because you certainly did score by the gutter. David, David, David, David, David. How many frames did you have sex with her on? How many frames? David, three turkeys. I mean, three strikes is a turkey, David. David, have you ever had turkey with your mistress? All the turkeys you've eaten with your mistress, David. You know, I recently gave David some brand new loafers and then come to find out the same night that I gave him loafers. He took them off and put on bowling shoes and was intimate with his mistress and a bowling alley. David, what about the loafers? David, sorry, dear. And then she goes, I am in love with my husband. Who would have ever thought? Look at this. I am in love with David. I am in love with David. Shut up a door and David Bador are in love and they're nowhere near a bowling alley. I would never have thought this could happen three months ago when we were lying on our gravestones. Who would have thought when here lies Janet B. Doar was in the ground. Eventually, a prince would come, dig her up and stick fingers up her button, get an imaginary psycho psychological colonic out of her, psychological debris out of my butt. Oh no, David B. Doar did that to Shannon B. Doar, David. David, it turns out that if you blow in your nebulizer hard enough, you can make a wish and my wish was that we'd be in love again. And we are. Shannon, when Shannon uses the computer, she refuses to use the autofill function. She's like, I am going to type in every time. Shannon B. Doar. That's it. You're not going to say it for me. I am first name Shannon, last name B. Doar. No, what are Phil? Shannon B. Doar is filling out this form. What? Don't get my email. I filled out a form. Shannon B. Doar did. Well, only only using Yahoo mail, of course, because our Gmail is strictly prohibited in our household. David, David, so is regular mail. We don't communicate with the outside world because David has mistresses everywhere. The standard layer won't come down. I suspected might have something to do. Who cares? I'm in love. Shannon B. Doar doesn't care. She's in love. It was like happy, rich people and limos on the way to a baptism music. And then we see Megan. We were really awful with these people. You know when they're not doing anything? Poor Megan. And the truth is, and by the way, before you say even what you're going to say, I'm sorry, we come down on Megan the hardest when the truth is she is doing nothing different than what we fucking do, which is be like, bullshit. We're going to look that up. Well, if we were watching ourselves, we would be making fun of ourselves. Yeah, probably too. We'd be judgmental of ourselves too. But I just, even when she's being sad or something, I just still laugh because I get what she's going through and I feel bad, but I still, I don't know why it's just funny to me because now she's been officially dumped because Haley didn't come to the party with her and she's pouting. And she's like, when I moved to those sea, I was ready to be without Jimmy because I thought I was going to have a family. But now I'm in alone with Heather and her husband, like, I can't be friends with Heather and her husband. I need help. Hashtag backup. Hashtag lonely justice. Hashtag couples shouldn't have to go on a couple dates alone. Hash you cash your chicken. Hashtag only don't overdo the soy hockey just because I'm mad at you doesn't mean I don't care. Hashtag I just got a new bottle of soy vey. It's great. Hashtag Tuscan furniture. Hashtag stock market homework. It's been a minute. Hashtag rice is done. Hashtag put the jizz on my face. It's official. So then we get to the baptism and we see some familiar, I won't say well your faces, but we see some people we know. Lynn Curtain, Tammy knickerbocker. Oh yeah. All the all the all the regs. Yeah, no Gina though. Where is Gina? Well, she doesn't want to be around anywhere where Tamara is going to be splashing things. That's true. Especially when everyone's wearing white. She's like, I'm not going to ruin my best pleather skirt for this. I've learned my lesson. So I'm just going to hang out with my son. He's going to be an asshole to me. It'll be great. And Vicki is going in as Vicki always goes into an episode where she knows she's completely caught lying wrong in every which way she does it every single time she's wrong, which is I'm going but I'm not staying long because I have somewhere else to be. I cannot be around this toxic energy. I can not do it. I can't do it. You know what toxic chemo, that's why Brooks won't go. I don't want to be in a round anything more toxic. Meanwhile, Brooks is like off at Chili's watching some fight. It was probably the Mayweather fight that was going on when the two of us went and saw Avengers that night. Oh yeah, maybe so. I like that no one will believe anything that they say now. Later in the episode, Vicki's saying, oh, Brooks isn't coming because, oh, there's a game or something, you know, he's at home watching with, you know, mom. Oh, I forgot. And she's telling Heather and Heather it's like, oh, really a game? Who's he rooting for? She's supporting the game, this game on the television. Do you have a picture of this game? Do you have some evidence? Oh yeah, well, here's a newspaper this from 1988. Well, yeah, it's, you know, it's like a game though. Is Terry at this game with him right now? Go ahead, tell us, tell us, tell us right now. Why aren't you telling us? Because he's at McDonald's, he doesn't have to prove anything to you guys. I called McDonald's. They don't show games at McDonald's. I called. If you want to see a game at McDonald's, they refer you immediately to a sports bar. So, I don't know. You know, it's funny, though. They actually do pet skins now. They're in Happy Meals. Yeah, it's really weird. It's pretty advanced. Megan, it's sort of all day long now. Megan is really holding the bravo torch. Hi, she comes to the baptism wearing her shirt crop top crop top baptism dress. Oh yeah, she's gonna steal it from Sheena only on bravo with someone go to a baptism wearing a crop top dress. Yeah, well, only in Orange County. Meanwhile, Eddie shows up. He doesn't, he hasn't even shaved. He still has this like crappy, Brillo pad patchy shit all over his face. Like it's your wife's baptism for crying out loud. You've read the Bible, right? Beards. Beards supportive. He's like, what is this again? Why am I here? He's like, I know this means a lot to you, babe, because remember that time you mentioned it to me at the sex party and I had no idea. Yeah, I'm always saying, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Eddie, it's like, Jesus, call me a Jesus freak batch. He's like, oh, I thought you were just like, you know, thank Jesus a lot, because you were pissed. I was, but like, Jesus, Jesus, Eddie, fuck idiot. I thought you were just talking to the guy who was fixing our warped floors, Jesus. That's Alfredo. All right, Alfredo's here. Oh my god, he works everywhere. Alfredo. Hi, where is he? Brooks is at home watching a game. Heather, who's it for Vicki? Whoever doesn't make you a zone of cancer lies. That's who he's rooting for. He's rooting for the football team that has the color of we believe you. We believe you have cancer, okay? Tell your friends, rah, rah, rah. We believe you. I'm rooting for you. We believe you. He's rooting for Mike Tyson to win the fight. Mike Tyson's not even playing him or I mean, I don't know. I wasn't there. I don't know. He does just what he says. I don't know. He's hanging out with his friend OJ. OJ has been a gel for like a long time. Oh, well, you know, I don't know. I was in Montana. I was on a river boat. Who knows? I don't know. Insurance. What? Yeah. Where? Good job. I don't know. What sort of proof that? I mean, what else have to show you? OJ Simpson? Is that what I have to show you to make you believe that he's hanging out with OJ Simpson? Well, yeah. Beckett's on the internet searching for whoever, you know, whoever's lying. Hopefully she'll go to Craigslist and get a job. So meanwhile, Tamara is still like talking all religiously. She's saying, I talk about her baptism. She's like, I feel like my life is going to change. I really feel like my life is going to change. No, it is not going to news flash. It's not going to change. You're 47 years old or Christian. There's like no tick box on the on the form you get from the credit companies, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's it's not going to change. And then then there's like a gospel. Then there's like a pre baptism gospel performance where they're like, what can wash away my sin? Nothing. There ain't enough sand in the desert. There's not enough acetane in the world. Wash off your sin. It is done. It is on you. It is a stain. Tamara would try and cleanse herself with blood. Like that made so much sense when Jesus is going to wash you with blood. I was like, yes, that sounds like Tamara. She's like, I'm taking a bath in blood batch finally a religion I can get behind. It's good because I love that movie carrier because I totally dunked so many girls and pig blood all my life. So it's good to get blood too. Consider this. Nothing to do with anything. Consider the blood. Can we talk about the fashions? We've talked about the crop top baptism dress. But guys, Vicki is wearing another doily weird wedding lace like a Victoria secret 1999 catalog non-lonal ray option. Yeah, paddled with like, I don't know cardboard from the bottom of a box from the Costco. You know, when they give you those boxes. I don't know. It's like pad. It's like ark pad. I don't know. You know, that's just going to be on the day those scenes soon. Vicki's finale dress. Vicki's baptism dress right now for 99 99. Someone's like, this was $5 at Walmart and now it smells like old lady and body over. Yeah, it's it was not a good dress. No, Vicki has looked really good all season, but this was not a shining moment for her. It was not good. She's in a lace phase, not working. Yeah, everybody's in a lace phase. That just hit the Chico's in in Orange County. Everybody was in lace. There was a clearance on this. There was a clearance in lace in a sand Clemente or something. Everyone get it now. Well, Tamara is a whore and she's coming to Jesus. So everybody go out and buy a horsesh marriage wedding dress a tire, um, slutty Mary. Okay, go. And then Tamara goes on this whole monologue. Oh, she well, she gives like a speech. She starts talking about like how she forgives Simon. She forgives Simon now because to the darkness, she realizes like what like all the good things that came out of it. So she forgives Simon. She's like, housewives. I was like, no, you don't forgive him. She's like, well, I may not like him, but I forgive him. Like you don't forgive him. By the way, you don't forgive him. And that's so housewives to make your baptism a speech dissing your ex. Yeah, I would like to thank Jesus for having me at this country club pool. So thank you, Jesus. I'd also like to thank Smirnoff and Adrian Malous shitty drink, whatever she donated. Thank you batch. Consider the source of this vodka. That was my pastor and I shall not want to shepherd. Okay, so like Simon was mean. Okay, his name's not Simon. It's just like somebody Judas. Okay, let's just say his name is Judas. So like Judas was mean, but like Judas like made my hands bloody and like told me my boobs are gross and called me fat and stupid. Whatever batch. This wasn't like that. So I forgive you whoever you are, Judas. I totally forgive you now batch. By the way, Judas loves anal beads. Just on Twitter talking about how Simon loves anal beads. Oh, geez. What the hell? Well, it's funny because she also says in her speech, she's like, I'll continue to mess up from time to time. I'm like, time to time aka all the time. Like, how many seconds between those times? I mean, you're gonna be messing up all the time. And then she goes, she ends on this very deep thought. She goes, what was once my mess is now my message. And my message is I'm a mess. The message is anal beads make a mess. Yeah, it's like, if this if you're sending us a message, I say return to sender, please. I say, which email address did you send it to? I can't, I just can't use them all anymore. It's just like, so here's Ryan. He was my mess. And now he's my message to all of you. Don't do this. Don't make a mess. Mess is get, get 10 years older every episode batch. Sense of anarchy doesn't pay enough to support your new husband's life. So batch, batch, batch, batch, batch. And then Heather, Heather actually had a line that made me laugh, even if it was probably written for us. She's like, I think this, dare I say, softer, more balanced, grandmother-y version of Tamra is very nice. Don't go into water. Drowner. She had some good ones today, Heather. Yeah. I'm Jewish. We don't get baptisms. I mean, our slogan is, we never forget. Yeah. I think a bar mitzvah might be the club. Well, technically, if you convert to Judaism, you get it. It's like the mikvah where a lady gets, she has to swim in a pool. So it's sort of like it, but good on you, Heather. Baptized, obviously, at birth or close to their birth, not when they're born. I mean, they are washed, but they are bathed in bed. But yeah, they get baptized when they're born. The adult baptism is a symbolic thing, or apparently just a good time to ask sponsors to donate vodka to the country club so you could party with your friends who gets wasted at a fucking baptism. Who? I would normally say it would be like wasps, right? But I would say, congrats to Heather for clawing herself out of the hole of last year, because at the end of last season, ooh, she was one of the worst. She was the worst. And this season, you know, I mean, she was trying hard with the happy girl. Hey, I'm a lady of the people, but she did for the most part, she stayed out of the fray. You know, she was in the fray. She she she she has graduated to being, you know, yeah, people are really loving again. People are really loving the Heather. I think it's good for you, Heather. You turn it around. You turn right in the boat. Yeah, well, she's, you know, it took a season, but you know, she she's proof that it can be done. They all are, aren't they? They're all different. Every year you're rooting for somebody else. Yeah, she does have a lot of people who are like, she's really nice. Yeah, she is really nice, but it's still fun to make fun of her being one of the people and then building them all house and talking about it like like it's natural. Yeah, I mean, we'll get to it later in the episode. I mean, she was like, I was everything to everyone. Oh, what a life. Heather, be quiet. I'm not Christian, but I actually have a lot in common with Jesus, you know, like his dad built a kingdom of heaven. I'm building them all. You know, it's like, you know what I mean, right? He was a carpenter. I boss around carpenters. I drew a tree that is going to be etched on the wooden doors of the cabinets that Collette's going to be sleeping in. So he had a beard. I have a very large house. You know, I get it. He caught fishes. I put leeches on my stomach. You know how it is. You drank wine. We take the Rivester all and put it on dry skin, or oily skin, or old skin, or young skin, like any skin, you know, he came back from the dead. I got a new face. Buy our product now. You'll get fresh new skin and we'll make the cabinet payment. Thank you. So, oh, by the way, I think that actually Heather is calling into my episode with Amy tomorrow. Oh, she is. I'm just remembering. I think I could be wrong. Ask her how Alfredo is. Play it. No, I mean, they're probably spent half the time talking about Chappicle on Katona, because she was she's from Chappicle on Katona. They're like neighboring, neighboring towns in Westchester. Oh, my God, you're going to out obnoxious each other with words. Yeah. Oh, I can do this. How do you spend time with Heather? Because you know that Heather is basically the female version of me. That's probably why I came down on her so hard last year, because I'm like, stop doing that me. You know, she is. I mean, let's be honest, that's the truth. Oh, it's okay, because I'm kind of a Tamara and Shannon mixed together. It's like a neurotic batch batch. So, okay, so one of my favorite parts of this episode then happened. Tamara gets baptized. She gets dunked into the water and then the producers do the funniest thing ever. They show the shimmering water. It's like the opening scene of the graduate. You just see the water, the pool water, and then this echoey, cross-dissolving montage of all these moments when Tamara was a heinous cut fitness over the past eight years or whatever. And just one scene after another after another. That's my opinion. You know, like, let's get her naked, wasted. Just one, like throwing things on the ground, her fighting with everything. All with this, like, water in this, like, pseudo-spiritual religious moment. I was like, y'all are just real fuckers right now. You're just making fun of her. You know, it was amazing. And last year when she was having her, whenever she says, I went through the hardest time last year, she's either talking about, like, her divorce, or she's talking about how she was a batch. And everybody was meeting me at dinner. And I love that they showed her at that scene where everyone confronted her and called her on her bullshit. And she's like, "You'll never see me again, bitch." And then she runs past a pool and Alfredo cleaning it. I was like, "Oh my god, the signs have always been there darling. He is always talking to you. You just are ready to listen now." You know, it's amazing because on the surface that montage was saying, all of these moments they're all being washed away. But really, I think what the producers were saying, look at this, bitch, we have eight years of this shit. She ain't going to change. You could get some powdered iced tea and you could add water to it. But at the end of the day, it's got the same fucking chemicals and they're all going to kill you. Tamra's mom just was so funny because Tamra's mom's all proud and she gets it. And Terry is smiling. Yeah, Terry wants to laugh his ass off. And he's drinking like a straight, straight up, straight up Jack or something. He needs a stiff drink. She's going to go in. And then the gospel requires her seeing an amazing grace. Cut to Vicki, testifying her hand in the air being like, "Yes, amazing grace." This is what I'm saying. Amazing grace. I was blind, but now I see. I had cancer. Now I don't have cancer. Amazing grace. That was probably misspelled too. A lot of the original lyrics from Amazing Grace, they were just all run together with no spaces. Oh, grace, you know, grace. Grace and my mom always have great times. Hey, mom, Grace is Oh, no, man, I forgot. Oh, Satan is the author of, you know, confusion and doubt and cancer doubt. I mean, it's a long title, but you know, Satan can do what he wants to do. Leave him alone. Don't you see him, spunked out. Oh, God. So then, so now it's time for the reception. So Tamara goes off to get her hair and makeup done. And then we see there's an angel food cake and a devil's food cake. And you can just, I could already just imagine Shannon with like holding her cross to these cakes. Be like, I banish you sugar and fat from this party. I banish you, I say, I ban David, David banish the sugar and fat. David, David, I love you so much. Why won't you banish the sugar and fat? Well, without sugar and fat, you wouldn't be getting kidney stones dear. And there'd be no reason for me to excavate your veg, your butt hole again. Here. Hey, what was taking jokes like that? What was the, what was the chant from the exorcists? What did they remember what they say in the exorcist when they try to get the spirit out of the little girl? It's like, in the name of the father, I banish you. Whatever it was. I banish you cake. I banish you cake. You're banished. Hey, did anybody eat me of that banishment cake? What's it got? What's it got? I forgot to mention this part here. Hold on. My vagina is shrinking because the water is cold. Oh, just Tamara getting back. I am getting baptized pictures. Oh my god. My vagina is like nuts right now. It's like up in my stomach. It's like stupid white trash camera. By the way, the chant is the power of Christ compels you, of course. The power of Christ compels you sugar and fat. The power of Christ compels you. So I forgot to say this about Tamara getting baptized. So they show this whole cut fitness montage and then they're still playing like the happy Jesus fat clown pineapple. What do you call it? Bongo? What is it? Coconut music. Coconut music. And then they show Tamara with her wide eyes and new voice. And she's like, it was just trying to cry. It was like, when I came up, like everybody looked different. Everybody was beautiful. Everybody was like so pretty because Jesus is like a Jesus filter where everybody is suddenly hot. It's a Jesus felt there. It's why he's so forgiving. You know, he just he sees everybody as hot batch. Stupid. I'm sorry. I don't know why I thought that was funny. Probably because I was watching this because the whole thing the I am with some little marijuana running through my lung my lung capillaries. Well, I think this also because the entire thing was ridiculous. I mean, speaking of the actresses, I mean, this should not have been in baptism. This should have been an exorcism. I mean, maybe that'll be next season. The season for next the arc for next year is that they have to get the demons out of Tamara. That is my that is my real conspiracy theory that she knows this is a lie. Everybody knows it a lie. But next year, she wants to throw a bigger party for her return to Satan party. Yeah, we're gonna start spinning and spewing pieces soon enough. She's gonna show up wet. And then she's just gonna have like rental stylist blow dry her. She's just gonna heal. That's my opinion. And her has gonna turn around 300 180 degrees and she'll vomit on everyone. And she'll walk down and staircase upside down to celebrate my return to Satan batch. I'm opening a dry cleaning service because nothing should be cleaned with water. Nothing. Nothing is forgiven batch. And then a priest gets thrown out the window. Eddie's still in the back just eating a fucking rice bowl the whole time. Watching on with complete disinterest. He's like the pearl of real housewives of Orange County. He's just like kind of you always suspect he's chewing something even though you can't prove it. And you know, his ass ain't listening to a thing you're saying. He does always look like he has stuff stored in his cheeks, like a little hamster. You feel fine with Lester Cameron. So then, so there's like a little bit of a cold war going on because our main women are all chatting by the bar and Vicki is hanging out with Billy and Billy's girlfriend Rhonda and Vicki's like not hanging out with the girls. So Megan tries to offer not really an olive branch but tries to be welcoming and she's like, come join. Do you want a shawl? It's a shawl of justice. Justice. I mean, I wore a shawl with holes in it which I guess doesn't make me that smart because I was freezing but like at least I wore a shawl. Yeah, you know, I like to wear the shawl. I think maybe you should wear the shawl with holes in it because it mirrors your story with all of its holes, knowledge, knowledge to fill in the holes. Justice, I don't know why she wouldn't take a shawl. All I was doing was offering a shawl. I mean, it's like a Christian thing. It's what they do in the Bible. You know, they extend a shawl at the olive garden. Who is this? Who is this? Why? Why? Why are so shawls? I don't even know when this happened but I have this randomly written in here that it's very important that I mention when everybody's still arriving in their diva limos, their diva limos as they're called here and all the rental limos. Anyway, when they're arriving, there's like a sticker for like the Persian party bus on the back. It's like, oh yeah, Carlos, what are your next event? Like the stickers on the back of these limos have accents. Anyway, Vicki, so they're all on their limos and then they get out and she's like, oh, barely. Oh, it's so good to have you and Ryan here and he's like, oh yeah, oh yeah, Vix. Oh, if that was the longest care I ever been in, only with your Vix. She's like, oh yeah, Billy. You know, you remember when I wanted a boat? Now, that would have been a big car. He's like, oh yeah, but Brianna wouldn't let you. And so they talk about getting this boat and she's like, well done. Got the river house anyway. So, you know, I mean, I guess at least you can't just float away with my money now, you know, and they were talking about all this money in the inheritance. And then she jokes and says, well, I could pay now maybe with not some inheritance. Okay, she made a dead mom joke. Yeah, going into the religious event. I just we have to note that because it's what we call foreshadowing. Yeah, if I don't hit you over the head with a hammer, you won't be not enough to watch a show in the first place. And why would you even be listening to this podcast? That's right. I'm done. What are you reading? You're you're reading. No, I was listening. I was I was reading texture. You're like, actually the difference between texture and next issue. Even though that would be a perfect segue to read our ad. I'm not going to do it. I have notes too. You want me to go next? No, I have notes. The thing is, I didn't know where your where yours was going because you went back in time. So I was trying to figure it out. Suddenly, I'm working at a bowling alley. I'm 14 years old. Maya, Josie yelled at me and then Tamara got baptized. That was from the bonus episode. Where are you going? I was like waiting to see where it was where it was going. And then it kind of just nowhere went to a place that I wasn't sure about. But Vicki Vicki did believe I really was talk about it. David. Well, so actually speaking of Vicki, Vicki and Shannon were in a definite Cold War. Like they were not talking to each other. And what we've learned. I was also in a cold cut board. Messing with me messy. Too many nitrates. Too many, David. David, the power the power of Dr. Moon compels you to remove these nitrates. So, you know, the Cold War. So on Vicki's end, she doesn't understand why Shannon hasn't returned her a call in like three weeks, which is pretty bad. Shannon's making it seem like Vicki's doing all the damage. But I think it's actually pretty bad that that Shannon has not returned Vicki's calls because you kind of can't do this. Even if Vicki called you, Vicki said like you were being nasty or whatever, you, I don't know. I don't think that you can just, I sit out. I think that just like makes it worse, you know. You have to talk about it. Shannon's version of what Vicki said to her. I mean, I guess Vicki was. Vicki lost her mind. I don't. What did she say to say? Did I forget that? I mean, because it's Shannon. I don't even remember what the issue is that like after that luncheon, Shannon Vicki sent Shannon a text that was like, that was like, you're being nasty. You're being nasty. I need you to be a friend and not be nasty, da, da, da, da, which then Shannon kind of like took that and ran with it, which is like, I can't believe she'd say, I'm nasty. I've always been a friend with her. I've been a friend more than she can say. And then she just doesn't call her back. So I think that's kind of shady. She didn't lose her mind on her. I mean, Shannon is making it sound like it. Shannon provokes that situation. That. Yeah. That was when she was like, well, I know you don't want to talk about it, but we need proof and that's I don't want to talk about cancer. I'm not saying he has cancer. Wasn't that the thing? Yeah, you know what? The thing is this, we love Shannon. Shannon provoked that situation. Okay. Shannon sat down. Vicki was having a terrible day. She just got like this annoying tax news. And Vicki was like, please, I don't want to talk about it. And Shannon kept talking about it. And Shannon was acting like she was like, like, well, the only way I cannot talk, Vicki just just fix it. You know, it was it was a really stupid conversation. And I think that Vicki had a right to say, like, don't do that right to tell her to shut the fuck up, honestly, because she was making every scene that she shot with Vicki every time they went, they went to lunch. And then she did it at the at Brooks's birthday party dinner thing, where she had her fake tears. I don't want to do this on your birthday, but I know mom check. Yeah. Oh, that's when she lost her mind on her. Well, that was the first to reply myself telling. But yeah, so she's she's the one who provokes it every time there's cameras around. She knows what she's doing. She has provoked it. And I think that I think that she does not she obviously does not believe Brooks. And but she didn't want to say she didn't believe Brooks. And this was the perfect excuse for her to be like, well, Vicki is being crazy. I'm gonna stop talking to her. I think she just used it as an excuse to stop talking to Vicki. So yeah, she's been doing the whole time. Yeah, exactly. So I understand why actually Vicki is sad about the situation. And I think that Shannon, I think Shannon has actually not been a great friend recently, and not because of the cancer thing. I think it's because she was not taking Vicki's calls. I don't think that's a nice thing to do. Shannon, you know, in a season of people just fucking each other. Oh, I mean, they always do, but it was pretty dark this season. And Shannon even topped the gross cancer stuff, which I totally believe by the way that he doesn't have cancer, obviously. But she even topped that when she threw down the even bigger gauntlet of Brooks, because this isn't the first time she said it where she said, the question isn't if Brooks had cancer, who cares? It's when did Vicki know? And because now she's the one who's saying Vicki's known this whole time, and she's been faking it for Brooks. And that's when she's really thrown it down. And she's done it in a very passive, aggressive way. And you know, spread everybody else, just spread it for her. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah, she's she's the bad one. She's one who's made a dirty and she would always say, I haven't made a dirty, I've just been reacting and Vicki could have, Vicki could have ended this, Vicki could have ended this acting as if like, actually, you know, the way you ended is that all of you just shut up and just agree that you think that Brooks is faking it and then just like, move on, you know? We talked about this a little bit on the Patti Stinger show, but the things that are coming out about this are so fucking gross. Vicki's starting a detox business. She's starting some kind of a she went on, you know, how everybody uses their Instagram is their grassroots marketing, you know, or their marketing department period. So she was on there and she's like, Oh, thank God, break from hashtag job to go on lovely cleansing hashtag detox vacation, because you know, everybody needs to detoxify. It's like she's hashtagging everything detox detox every time detoxifying detox. And then something comes out that she's starting a fucking detoxing business. You see Megan, you can say people can say what they want, but she's not wrong. And she totally called it. That bitch is going to not only lie about it, but she's going to make money off of it, which explains the whole fucking thing. Absolutely lame, lame, lame. If you have cancer, go get chemo. Okay, that's been your public service announcement. Yeah. Well, so speaking of which, it wouldn't be an episode without another gigantic whole in Brooks's cancer theory. So now a new story has emerged and Heather doesn't like this story because it drags Terry into it. So she's pretty much going around this entire party telling everyone about it. She's like, well, there's this story going around that apparently one night Brooks was so sick that he called Terry to call a colleague to administer an IV to go over to their house and administer an IV in the middle of the night, which is already a bullshit story because as Terry says later, you know, in a situation like that, you go to the emergency room, you don't like get a house call from a doctor, but apparently go to the hospital, but he got three flat tires. I mean, whatever, the hospital closes, you know how they are. You know, they're just like Quiz no so it's closing at like nine p.m. Hospitals, no one's ever there. So, so this was so I guess apparently Vicki told this to Brianna and then it's been around because Shannon's like, I heard that, I heard that around, but but so no Heather's never happened that Terry never got a call in the middle of the night to go call a colleague to administer an IV to be fair. Everyone's acting like it would be so crazy. We know that Terry has a stockpile of a reserve withdrawal that's telling it in this fucking face cream. Why wouldn't Brooks call him? He's like, could you uh Terry? Hi, this is Brooks. I thought it might be pertinent and a successful venture for the both of us. If we took a moment to talk, could you bring some moisturizer and pump it into my spinal fluid? Thank you. Yeah, bring the bell Vicki, you'll get it. Meanwhile, you know that the real story is probably that it was like 2 a.m. And he called for a pizza, you know, that's like, well, I didn't have pancreatic hands right pancreatitis and I didn't technically call Terry to call a doctor to give me an IV because I was sick. I did call Papa John's. So actually, I did call Terry that night. And the reason I called him is because I thought it might be successful for both of us to play some keynote. So he misunderstood that that, you know, that's up to him. But misunderstandings happen. They're they're a part of speed bumps in the road of life. You know, I said, I need someone to come over here and and give me an application to an IV league school because I'm sick about the state of my education. That's what I said. And I think that maybe he misinterpreted. And I didn't call Terry to bro. I called Terry at Papa John's. I said, Terry, we need to talk about Terry, we need to talk about you. You got to get out of Papa John's. You got to get to Ivy League schools to come over here with a pizza. We'll talk about because I'm sick about your job. I might sound a little confused on the details, but that's what cancer does. I've had it five times. And I know each brand of it, you know, has treated my brain chemistry in different ways. And I didn't say I have pancreatic cancer. What I said is I have a pan. And also, let's talk about creation. Let's let's create some answers. So I said, I got a pan create answers. All right. I don't have the pancreatic cancer. I just have pancakes. I mean, they shared a syllable. I think that people just are misinterpreting the things I'm saying. I specifically remember Terry coming over because remember he said it smelled like a pet and zoo, Vicki. Oh, no, no, that was Brianna. Oh, right. Never mind. No, I was confused. It's a cancer. You know, what I was talking was that it was cold and I needed a Terry cloth robe. So I said, can someone get me a Terry cloth robe? But you know, since I'm from Alabama, we just call him a Terry down there. So someone someone called but get me a Terry. That's what I said. Vicki's favorite thing to do when she's in deep shit when she can't leave because you know, the producers are like, um, it's a season finale. You're staying because she keeps going. I'm going. I'm going to get my see through nonchalant. Get out of here. I'm going to freeze in my car. So her other favorite thing to do when she can't leave is to bring someone else to fight for her. The most famous example of this is the Bunko party. Wasn't that her friend who is like, girl, that old queen who was like trying to hell off Gretchen or something. Yes. So funny. And she also gets like the least witty, most broken. Sorry, I queen. If you're listening to this, I don't mean you, but I do. She gets like the most broken down lamest-ass people who cannot fight for her. It's like putting the wrong fighter in the ring. Well, before you before you get to what I think you're going to get to about the fighting, but there was some other stuff before that. I had just written down that, uh, we meet, uh, Rhonda. Right. No, this is before this is pre Rhonda. Oh, okay. Um, so after, after, um, Heather is telling this whole story that's going on, then Megan bursts out with a new theory, which is because they're like, why would you, by the way, totally, totally accurate. And it actually to me sounded very much like a Ronnie Carrom theory, um, which is not a bad thing. Um, because they're like, why would he do this? And she's like, well, I have a theory that, um, if you're sick, you don't have to pay child support. And he's got four children. So this way he doesn't have to pay child support. And he gets everyone's good will. Uh, yeah. And he's known for not paying his child support. That's a huge, huge thing. Like, he's had a lot of run-ins with the law. And that's why they call him crooks and also Megan and I share that theory because we also share a bookmark on secret, our stupid housewives. Uh, love that. It's so good for calling out shit like that. Oh, and yeah, they've been saying that for years. It's, yeah. So then, um, so then as we start moving towards meeting Rhonda, Oh, I'm sorry, Ben, to interrupt you, but she added in this. Um, yeah, you know, because like, he owes a lot of child support. And so not only does he not have to pay, but now everybody's going to feel sorry for him. Like, who's going to question that? Who's going to be mean to somebody with cancer? Yep. Totally true. No, I mean, Megan is, um, a really unpleasant person, but she's not wrong. Listen, weight loss drugs and GLP ones are all anybody's talking about right now. They're everywhere, but it's confusing to figure out how to get them, but it doesn't have to be. Through hymns and hers, you can get access to a budget-friendly weight loss program personalized just for you. Hymns and hers connects you with a medical provider who will work with you to determine your best treatment option. And if prescribed, you get the medication as part of a doctor-developed weight loss program complete with ongoing support check-ins, medication adjustments, and answers to questions. 100% online at no additional cost. Through hymns and hers, weight loss plans are more affordable, starting at $199 per month with the 12 month subscription paid upfront. No hidden fees, no access fees, and no membership fees. 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I tried to be Chinese, but then I was reading about China and there's like not a lot of truth that happened there and there's definitely not a lot of justice. So I can't be Chinese. Where are we now? Are we at? Okay, so now I'm so excited because nothing even happens in the part I wrote down. I just put Vicki at the bar bitching to Rhonda. Well, no, because what happens is that because Vicki is now talking to Rhonda and the women are talking together and they're all, they're like in these two little groups and yeah, they're cutting back and forth like that guys, let's not ambush. Let's not ambush. And because they're like, no, we're not going to go up to it. We're not going to ambush. We're not going to ambush. And Megan's like, I don't feel uncomfortable at all. I'm just I'm just asking educated questions. All I care about are facts and I have facts. So like, what are you going to do? Argue with facts? Nope. Okay, I'm ready. Where do I go? Want me in the right direction? I love when they're cutting back to Vicki bitching to this Rhonda woman because the minute you see her, it's you just know that she's you can recognize the broke down ass people that Vicki has on her side, you know, like the non questioning broke downs. So I knew right when I saw this and also my mom's name is Rhonda and sure we're a few new one. Okay. Right. So she's bitching to Rhonda and she's being such a victim. I can't believe that they're doing this to me, you know, I mean, they're supposed to be my friends. And the one that hurts me the most is shattered. We're supposed to be real, real, true, true, real friends. She's hurt me. She is really sick. Oh, good. Yeah. You can't have a victim party at a fucking Jesus party. Okay, you're all going to lose. Yeah, exactly. Oh, but that never stopped Vicki before. She knows how to do a victim party. Yeah, leave it up to Vicki to try and compete for a biggest martyr at a Jesus party. And then so then what happens is I think that Vicki does actually walk away, right? When they start to talk to her? That's all Vicki does. That's what she's doing. She's like, they were made and then she walks away and she tries to leave other cash bar. It reminds me, are you going there? What are you walking around the lobby of the Marriott? Like, what are you doing? It reminds me of like when I had a hamster and I would make like a little hamster maze with blocks and the maps would run through it. And then like if the hamster started going in the way I didn't want, I just put down another block to block his way. I was like, Oh God, now I gotta turn around. Go a different direction now. You just know the producers are just putting down blocks. And now here I am stuck in this big rolling ball with my own boot dropping on my head. I can't even walk down the hall over there hitting the walls. Oh God. She wouldn't even take responsibility for her own shit in a hamster ball. Yeah. That's not mine. What is that? Who's throwing my feces at me? Can't keep anything nice. I wish that I'd gotten this hamster ball. I could still be on a boat somewhere in a river. I don't know how much longer I'm supposed to run on this wheel. I mean, what do they what do they want for me just to run all night long? I mean, this wheel doesn't go anywhere. So over and over and over again. Biggie in a hamster wheel. Please never let that image leave my mind. It pretty much works. It really does. I was like, well, we could improve on this or we could just let it stand as the best idea that we've ever had. You know, I have things to do. Okay, I have to see Brooks. I'm going to climb up this big two to a little box on top of the cage now. Okay, I'll tell you what. I wish I should have eaten my babies. I wish I ate my babies. So, you know, I was writing down Vicki hamster wheel. I don't know why. And you know what, I'm writing it on a Marlboro pack. Like, what do I think this is going to accomplish? Now, there's like some empty Marlboro 100 pack lying around a pile of keyboards that have never been used that says naked gun on one side and Vicki hamster heel. You know, you know why I feel bad for you, Ronnie, because if you were ever to be attacked and lose your memory and you had to memento your life, you would come across this cigarette box and Vicki hamster wheel. Who's Vicki? What's the hamster? And you would go in on an odyssey that would lead you nowhere. Why am I painting a bowling alley for the third time? You will be so confused. You just show up, you just show up in code at a cause, uh, be like, Mom, is that you? All God, I don't know who this is. How to lay no OJ Simpson. What is happening? That's a bonus episode reference, by the way, for everyone. Yeah. So if you want a big long conversation, yeah, if you don't, if you don't know what that's all about, you should subscribe on Patreon and find out about Ronnie's past the Robert Gulay and painting bowling alleys. Cause it's really interesting for other memories you don't care about. Come to patreon.com. Well, scraping somehow our bonus episode somehow weaves together Faye Resnick, OJ Simpson, Robert Gulay, Ronnie painting a bowling alley and disgusting sandwiches and strippers. In other words, it's great. You can always, you can't judge a book by its cover, but you can't judge a pay it sandwich. So while Vicki, while Vicki walks off, essentially, to nowhere while she's in the lobby going nowhere. Yeah. All the producers are like putting up like blankets to, to stop her like a, like a bull. Um, the, uh, Billy is left with a woman. They're putting bills. Yeah. They're putting bills right in front of her. She's like, no, they're putting an unemployment check right in front of her. She's like, no, I won't, I will not pass that. I won't work. It is basically like animal control. You know when there's like a cow in the street for some reason and they need to hurt it, they, they get the nets out. Vicki's in the lobby. The nets are out. She's like, no, no, like remember those two llamas, members like Ray llama. Oh, the alpacas. It was like black cow pack and white alpaca running through Scottsdale. That's what this is. And then animal control has got the nets out, hurting her back towards the pool. So, um, Billy is left with women and he's kind of like, he's trying to actually speak their language and try, and he's like, he's like, listen, you know, you know, all that she's thinking is, you know, like this is the man that I love. And you know, he has got cancer and they're questioning and she's like, you know, these are my friends. And then of course, all the women are, we are her friends. We care so much about her. We don't want to take her down at all. No, not definitely not Vicki. Yeah, Billy knows, Billy knows, but he doesn't know how to deal with it, of course, because he's Vicki, I'm sorry, my keeps escaping me. He's Vicki's, you know, he's had to take her shit his whole life. So his way is just like, go along and get along. She's always going to make more money than you. You know, at the end of the day, what are you going to do? Who's going to take care of you at the end of the day? The husband's just leave, you know, I mean, Dan just put it around and puffed up some pillows and then he was at the end of the day be nice to Vicki. That's all I'm saying, girls. Vicki is like, I got to go going to Buffalo Wild Wings and meet up with Brooks. I got to go. I got to go. And so then Heather's like, no, I'm going to talk to her before she lays. I'm going to talk. So you think that Heather's going to say be like Vicki, come on, we want you to stay. We want you to say, she's like, why are you leaving? Why? Why? Why? Why? Just like attacking her? I was like, that's not how you handle Vicki. Nope. Are you talking about Shannon or Heather? I missed the first part. Heather went to. Oh, yeah. And she was like, why? Why? Why are you leaving? Why are you going? Where are you going? How do you grab solve things? If you have hands leaving. I wish you could see our crab hands. How are you going to solve things? That's not how things are solved. What you do, you go to dinner, you order and you smile and you remind that person that you love them. And then you get really awkward when they don't like your art. Okay, that's how you do it. I mean, that's your relationship. Am I right? You see my hands? Grab the relationship out of the air. Grab each letter at a time. Yeah. If you don't want to, you got to put some tape around my claws, like do the supermarket. Otherwise, you can grab it. Oh, no, no, no. So there's a who tool. Okay, here's my notes. Let me just tell you. Heather Shannon Megan. Okay, we already did this, I think. If you have the inability to work, okay, we did that. If that's the case, the biggest fool is the biggest dupe in this entire story. Shannon B. Doran, dupe of the century. If you're a big dupe with a piece of plastic up your ass, look at me. Because that's who I am. Don't doosh, dupe. That's what everybody does to me. Not me, dear. What about you, David? David, don't talk about that right now. What do you call a big dupe with a cheating husband and plastic upper ass and two thumbs? This guy, me, Shannon Bador. So while Shannon is pleading her case to Billy and Rhonda and she's talking, she's like, you know, I thought we were friends. I thought we were friends. And then she gives a document, she gives it to Tamara. And it was an illegible document with no spaces in it, no spaces. Could you imagine no space bar? I mean, I can't even believe it. David, David, the only person who does not allow to use spaces is David when he makes his emails to his mission was on Gmail. David, David, no space bar for you. Well, you know, who uses all those heat, you know, who writes like that is Vicki because she doesn't want to take time out from work and to put spaces in her emails. What a coincidence. So anyway, what I just wanted to say was, of course, he has kids like hello, Vicki, that's my new theory. Vicki made that email and she's used to writing with no spaces because she doesn't want to take a break at work. There you go. It's a time saving thing. Proof. Yeah. Well, so then so while Shannon's going on and on, Rhonda, we have to talk a little bit more about this Billy and Shannon because this was so good. It's not just Shannon going on because you've got Billy who's like the biggest apologist in the world. And he's like, well, she showed me the letter. Didn't she show you guys the letter? Did you see it? He just showed it to me this morning. I was trying to eat pancakes. He's speaking of pancreatic cancer. Here's my, here's my results. And I saw him and at the top, they said, we're old. So you know, that's real. And Shannon's like, well, here's why I'm upset. One time we went to lunch and I was trying to be a good friend. And Vicki shot me in the face. She shot me. I'm dead. My face is dead. Do you see my face? Don't. Shannon, be door. Here's why. Here lies Shannon be door. Vicki did it. Jesus. It's so much. And then Ron, are we getting to win? Well, it's the first thing. One of the first thing before Rhonda gets really nasty is that Rhonda is basically like, well, because, because, because there's something about like the past two weeks. I think Rhonda is, because Vicki, oh, because Shannon's like, well, for the past two weeks, Vicki has been terrible. And so Rhonda's like, oh, for the past two weeks, two weeks. And then how long has Brooks had cancer? How long has Brooks had cancer? And then that's when Shannon starts to get really hoppy. She's like, Rhonda, for you just like, just that I haven't been a good friend. Who are you, Rhonda? Rhonda. And then she lists all in the way that only Shannon be door can do. She lists everything that she's done for you and this family. Because that's how she rolls. And it was so funny watching Rhonda even trying to understand, because not the sharpest tool in the shed. I mean, the woman was just like a mess of bad bangs and clothes that were on the floor at Ross. Like, we all know it. Let's just admit it. She was not ready to fight. And Shannon, well, I'll tell you what I did. When I first met Vicki, I said, we're both theories. And we both wear the same dresses. Then we had lunch together. Then we realized we both had one care. Then it's like, Oh my God, like listing all of the non things that have proven your friendship. You have never swam in ocean for Vicki. Shut the fuck up, lady. Get out of here. Yeah, because he came this whole thing of like, Vicki was there for you. And you weren't there for Vicki. And like, why should she have to? Oh, you know what she said? She said, why? Like, why should she have to ask for you to be their first? Well, I did not like, because Shannon was doing her whole thing about City of Hope, which is a legit point that she gave these, she arranged a stuff for City of Hope and whatever. And then, I don't know, there was just something where like, they were saying like, why does Vicki have to ask for your support? Why does Vicki have to ask for your support? Oh, it was Rhonda. Yeah, Rhonda saying that. Well, if she's your friend, then she shouldn't have to ask you for your. Oh, yeah, she said, why didn't you support her? Well, I didn't know. Well, yeah, because you didn't answer a call for three weeks, first of all, so you didn't know. But also Rhonda saying when you, you know, if your boyfriend had cancer, you don't just question it. And even though she's terrible, she's right in a way. I mean, look, girl code is listening to your girlfriend's problems. Even if her problem is that she's with a guy that she had to buy teeth and fakes cancer. I mean, your job is to nod and just say, Oh, well, good luck to you too. I just want you to be happy. That's your job. I think personally, I think if I have a really close friend and their boyfriend, whatever, is if it's dubious, I would be like, that's fucked up. I don't know if I believe it, but I'm not going to necessarily defend the boyfriend. But what I would say is, guys, give it a break because he's going through a hard time. You know, just give it a break. Who knows what the truth is. It's not up to us. If he's lying, he's lying. And then if she's made out to be a fool later, if it comes out that Brooks is faking it and Chan looks like a fool, then take that up with Vicki then. But don't kill the friendship because you don't want to look like a fool. You know, like that honestly, she's breaking up the friendship, not based on all of these little things, but she's breaking up the friendship because she knows that Vicki's lying about her boyfriend having cancer in order to cash in and have a business. Who the fuck wants to be friends with someone like that? That's disgusting. I mean, that is low, even for us. It is, though. It's like the lowest, even for Bravo. It's low. And so I think Shannon's sick of it. She's like, why am I being friends to this hack? Everybody hates her for a reason. She should say it's fucking liar, but she should either be upfront about that or like, but don't don't do the like, oh, but like we're, I'm good. If you're going to say you're a good friend thing. Well, that's how she does everything. So that's probably how she grocery shops. I'm sorry. I know that you're busy. I can see that you're busy, but I'm looking for pecans. I've always trusted your pecans and they've moved. So they're in a different aisle. I guess it's confused, Shannon. If anyone's duped in the nut aisle, it's Shannon. Well, the former nut aisle. Should I say that? Someone moved the nuts? He's lady Christ. They're like by the register now. Okay. Healthy people want to snack too. So then this all leads to the biggest, the biggest line, which has been Rhonda says, well, she didn't ask to see the records when you thought your husband was cheating on you, which is it's a funny line. It's also totally out of like, it's not making any sense. It's like not contextual. Well, she basically saying when you when she didn't doubt your issues, she was just was blindly supportive of you. Well, guess what? David's mistress was on the cover of Us Magazine at the 90 interviews about it. So that's the difference. Vicki's not producing proof, and I've produced plenty of Gmail account and I chapped. I have produced a map locations where David has taken this mistress. I have had three waitresses and Applebee's fired mostly because they squeeze lime into a plate instead of my drink, which you asked for that. But that's another story. I have evidence. Yeah. I mean, that is a huge difference though. Those fights don't even make sense. Shannon has put forth every bit of evidence. Yes, there's a ton of empirical data. Okay, there's a lot of witnesses. You know, unlike the fact that there's been no one who's seen Brooks do chemo or any of whatever, there's been a lot of people who've seen David with a mistress. Meanwhile, you know that Ron date with a mistress. Well, Shannon, I bought me being him. Sorry. I didn't even make a joke. What? Oh, I thought you were talking about a movie. City. No, I'm like, wow, I made a joke. I was even trying to think up off the floor and I was like, I'm just a good one. You know, as you heard like bits and pieces and you just filled in all the blanks on just like Mickey did with all those words without spaces. So no, but then so the best though out of all, even though Rhonda was really out of line and it was a low blow, it was worth it to see Shannon just lose her mind because she has really not lost her mind the way she did last season. She's like, you have a hell of a fucking lot of nerve girl. Oh, so, so yeah, she turns right around to David. David, this run the bitch. He's like, dear, dear. It's just causing psychological debris to get stuck in your butt cavity, which I will have to get later. Okay, dear, keep it going, dear. Yeah, well, what I love is that like then Shannon's enough. She's like, I'm gonna say something Vicki. I'm gonna say something Vicki. And she starts marching towards Vicki and and David just goes, Shannon, Shannon, he doesn't go after her to stop her. And he's just like, as long as it's not me, right? Hey, what's going on, lady? Notice that right before she stomped towards Vicki, she's telling all the girls, that's it. I'm going to talk to her. Shannon Bitor has been duped. And she pulls off her jewelry like a chola in a school yard. I was like, girl, she just pulled off those diamonds and she did it because that shit is real. She's like, I'm not getting blood on my diamonds. And then she walks up to then she marched up to Vicki. Vicki, meanwhile, is now talking to Heather because Heather's like, well, there's this story going around that that Brooks, Colotary, and then Vicki has such such a bad liar voice whenever she lies. She's like, I don't know. I never said that. That's not true. That's not true. Because when Vicki is telling the truth, she screams. If she feels like someone's not if someone's lying, she screams. But if if if someone's if she's lying, she's like overly placid. No, no, I don't know. I don't know. The calm when the calm comes over, you know, she's like, and her eyes kind of have clothes and she starts shifting around like her eyes start darting back and forth. And she usually makes an oh sound with her lips. Like what she's thinking like, what? Like, I would say what? But I can't even form the words because what you're saying is so it's just so what? She gets this like high pitched angelic voice. No, no, no, I don't know. I don't know. That's just no, I don't know. It's in the middle of this Shannon walks up because that you would tell her what's going on in my life. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for being such a good friend and ruining my secret that nobody knew about. Yeah. Anybody with a supermarket with a magazine rack or anybody that I've told told on this nationally broadcast television show that we're both on. Thank you. We'd like to hello, ma'am. Sorry to call you. Who's this? Well, we're just going to do a survey about your recent time Warner experience. What? Who? I'm in the car with my children. Ma'am, we just need to ask you a few questions. Oh, really? Me? Me? Well, David. David Cheetah. It's not all an interview about your shit marriage, all right, lady? Yeah. Should I paper a plastic? I don't know. What did David use with his mistress because he cheated on me? Oh, Shannon B. Doer. That's like, hi, Shannon. How's it going? Cheated on? That's how it's going. Bye, David. Okay, so here's where I have to mention the brilliance that is the internet because a good friend of all is on the Facebook page. And I can't even bring it up next. It's in the private message. Last night, I was cruising the Facebook page for some juicy morsels. And, of course, someone posted one for us and it was Shannon B. Doer on Facebook. Did you watch this? By the way, I posted it. I watched it. Did you watch it? I didn't watch it. Oh, what a mistake. I should have sent you a text. It's amazing. Shannon goes on after us. I'll play some of it. It's six minutes. We'll do the whole thing. But we'll just do the beginning. Hold on. Yeah, we can talk over it. I'm loading it up. But you set up. She goes ape shit. It says Shannon B. Doer. And she's in her lens crafters, like, or not her lens crafters, like her, what do you call that? Not department store. Like a like a writing reader, whatever. They're reading glasses. How they make your eyes look. Anyway, she's like, I'm in my reading glasses. That's serious. What? Well, yeah, well, I'll just play it. But what is she? What is she reacting to, though? The finale, the season finale last night. This was last night. Okay. I mean, did anyone see watch what happens live? Because I'm so freaking livid right now. I want to start swearing. So I texted a comment to Andy that Vicki at the day of the baptism didn't know that I had told Heather and Tamara. She found out after the baptism, because the day after the baptism, she called Tamara and said, I was the only one that knew about the infidelity. And Tamara said, no, actually, Shannon told us in the last day of filming before the baptism. So she can F off. She's a freaking liar. And she can look right in the camera. And clearly, after 10 years, think that she thinks that she can stay whatever she wants. So I'm just really disappointed that I wrote a statement. And she cut Andy off, because the last part was Tamara can confirm all of this. And oh, yeah, because that's a reliable thing. Yeah. Nobody has a question. Hello. Did you not just see the finale? She clearly got caught in a lie that Terry came over and gave an IV. She's confronted about, did he get a pet scan? Because they don't do pet scans. And she told my secret when she says, as into he, I'll never ever betray you, Shannon. She did. My secret that I told on TV. I told him to get with her. It's on. It's on, my friend, my ex-friend. It is on. Good, good elaboration. Yeah. David's meanwhile on the floor. She knows she's going up and down. She must have had some agreement that wouldn't take any bad questions. Yes. Excuse me. I would like to have a no bad question agreement. Thank you. She's she's a nightmare. I got to tell you, it's not yet. Yeah, I have direct TV. So we get it. We get it earlier. I love her. Romina. Yeah. Vicki's living in denial. I don't like this. Romina, you get it, Romina. Romina gets it. All right, Paresco. Romina gets it. That's all I use. You tune into the reunion because so much stuff comes out. It's off the chain, off the chain. Yes. So but we'll see you soon. I do that too because maybe I'll cut it all out at this point. All I know is I was there for a 19 hour day and they better show what really happened. And the truth is always the truth. And I think you're seeing the truth will come out. The truth welcome missing my friendship. She called me a TV friend before we started filming. She called us all TV friends on watch. I don't think you guys understand that for four months prior to filming this year, I was calling her. I didn't wait. Why did you betray a friend Vicki? Oh, yeah. I hope I think you're talking to Vicki because that's you again, Romina. All right. Sure. Pauses. She's rambling. Five days. How? Yeah, she's just like reading the periscope things and pissed but so apparently for a 19 hour day they confront Vicki at the reading. I want to say she looks really good. Shannon? Yeah, she looks great on her periscope. She's oh she looks like she's just going to bed like ready for bed, right? I'm saying she's like 51 years old and thinks she looks really good. It's reading class's sexiness. Not only will I not have sex with you but I will also read while you're staring at the ceiling. We're so happy. It's called Armadillo injections. Wait, what was it? I said it's called Armadillo injections. Look into it Vicki. I don't like seeing her being all getting singing to this level of being like it's on, it's on. Oh, it's Brona. It's over. My ex friend. It's like a really petty, sad, immature level that I don't know. I just don't. I don't like you realize that you're a cartoon on a fucking housewives show, right? Are you seriously that mad in your richy rich house with your fucking husband on your husband hanging from a moving chandelier like lady really? You need bigger problems because she is a liar but I don't know the outrage. The thing I'm always disappointed in is how when I meet people, not all of you obviously, but a lot of reality people when you meet them is just the... They take it seriously. It's very real and it's very important. It's like, no, the fun is that it's not important but you know they don't get that. I wouldn't check if that's why they're fun. So at the party, Shannon is losing her mind and she said everything to everybody. My good friend Vicki told everyone about the secret I said on national TV. Everyone. Everyone knows. She told everybody right before the TV guy did. Meanwhile, I love this pastor. He comes. He's like, "Yo, so should I like try to intervene and try to send me things over maybe?" I can't just sit down when my board shorts are wet because it's all chafe. So I could like totally help that screaming chipmunk lady. Should I follow her? No, no, no, whoa, whoa. I'm going to do it. This is what Jesus would do. This pastor is in the middle of screaming women. This pastor had no idea what he was getting himself into. So he goes up to Vicki and she's like, she's like, "No, no, I'm fine. I just, you know, I like, you know, they're just, you know, terrible women. They're just terrible evil women. That's all. That's all." She's like, "Not one person is called to say, 'How are you doing, Vicki?' Not one in September." It's like, "Uh, except you, except you, but not one person." Except Tamara has called me, "You don't mind my dad." This is where she gets, she sinks to another low Vicki with her. My mom died when she was just making jokes about it 20 minutes ago or so. You might remember when I pointed that out with a hammer on your head. Anyway, she's like, "My mom died. Who was there? Who was there standing at the wall saying, 'Hey, do I miss Vicki?' Oh, no, I, no. We're your city, I hope." I'm like, "No, neither were you. That's the point, Vicki. You never fucking were. When were you ever a city of hope? Why are you even bringing that up right now?" It's like she's using mom's death and someone else's non-cancerous her own victim status. Like, you can't be a victim of Brooks' cancer if it's not even real. Like, if you're going to be a victim, choose properly you feel more on. Is it honestly about Dick, like, just having company at the end of the day? Because that's what everyone says. Vicki's just too afraid to be alone and she doesn't want to be alone. Is she just that lonely? I'm not a monk. Well, I mean, it's funny because while the pastor's there, she goes from indignation to outrage to then pity all in the span of like three seconds. Because then she's like, "Why doesn't one call me?" And she's like, "I'm not doing good. I miss my mom more than anything. I know Jesus and I know the truth and you know what? I'm good with it. I'm good with it. I just, I just need a hug. I just need a hug." It's like Jesus, woman. "What's gonna hug me? What's gonna hug me? Look at me! I'm Jesus!" She literally does that. She passed your mic. Okay. She screams it. She throws her arms wide open like she's on the crucifix. And she said, "I'm Jesus. I'm just like Jesus. You know what happened to him? He got crucified. And here I am, being crucified." Yeah, the pastor was like, "I'm gonna go check out on the Bellinos across town, so I'll see you later." He's like, "I have some coupons for a bouncy playground. It's just a playground of trampolines. Sounds totally safe taking my kids. Pray for us." He's like, "Listen, I think there's a game going on at Buffalo Wilding, so I'm gonna head that way." So then I'm Jesus. Yes, that's just what happened to Jesus. So then slide about Peter's cancer so that he could start a business selling fucking wine to people. Jesus's cancer-wise, the only reason there was ever Franzia. Don't doubt him! So then Shanna, at this point, the Shanna and the other girls come out. And then Shanna is now yelling at Vicki anew, and she's like, "How dare you? How dare you? I've been nothing but a friend to you. Nothing." So then Vicki's like, "Well, why don't you turn my phone calls?" And then Shanna says, "Because I'm done with you. Drag me into this." What? Like, what? You did not get dragged into this. You will willingly put yourself in the middle of the cancer conspiracy. I'm sorry, Shanna. Your finger is in a bad weave right now holding on to Vicki's goddamn head. Say what you will about the cancer, but Vicki did not drag you into it at all. No, so the woman who mentions it every scene she's in when she's not talking about how else she's been wronged in life. Get out of here. Maybe she's saying that she doesn't like being an accomplice to the lie, but if you're saying dragged into it, Shanna was not dragged into it. She put herself into it. And then, of course, then Vicki- You're right, though, what you just said, how it is all context, because she could have been saying, "You're dragging me into this whole thing. What am I supposed to go and pretend that Brooks has cancer and be friends with you? I'm not doing that, if that's what she means." And of course, on her side, but if she's saying, "You're trying to bring this up on camera," then- And then Vicki, as evidence of her great being, of her being such a wonderful friend, she then says something, she then goes, "When nobody else liked you, I was there for you, which is such a backhanded thing to say." When no one liked you, everyone hated you, because you're awful. I was still friends with you. I took on the charity case. You think these girls wanted to be friends with you? You didn't even wear a brat of the first party we met at, and you stole a chair! And then Heather jumps into the ludicrous ring, and then in her interview, she says, "You cannot talk about people's business without their permission. It's uncool," says Heather, "town gossip." Now, let me finish what I was telling you about how Reba organizes her notes. And then Vicki, Vicki, once again, is like, "I gotta get out of here." She's like, "I need to be around positive people who believe in Jesus." Oh my god. Which could be anti-semitic, by the way. That could be an anti-semitic remark, but I know she can get it right. Well, or completely narcissistic, because she just wants people who believe her, because she is Jesus. She just said it. I'm Jesus! And nothing says going to be amongst God, fearing God worshiping godly people, then watching Floyd Mayweather punch someone in the face. Really, I think that's really the crux of what Jesus wanted for his followers, is to have some wife beating, slut-shaming asshole dude taking in tons of everyone else's money. Yes. Yes, Vicki, go do that. Ordering dominoes from Newport Imaging. Then Vicki gets into her limo, and the newly baptized Tamara, who is all about following the Christian way, then goes into the limo to politely confront Vicki about the pet scan, about this, about that. Let's remember back to the flashback, well, there wasn't one, but in my mind, there was, the flashback of the cut fitness opening, when Tamara had a party and bullied Alexis, and then Alexis ran outside and almost tripped on the warped floor, and sobbed in a stretched, rented limo with a Persian sticker on the back, while trying to make everybody think she's a bully, so, so similar. And now it's you, Vicki. Now it's you. So I just love that Tamara, freshly baptized, is once again, stirring the pot about the pet scan. And then that's when Vicki's like, I don't know. I was in Oklahoma. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Well, Tamara was not going to let her go. She's like, okay, look, you're going to avoid the scene. I see that they finally let you pass the, the, the, you know, the tape batch, but you're not leaving before you know that here's the deal. Here's the log line. Brooks doesn't have cancer. Everybody knows that you told the lie about Terry going to the thing, and the thing is the thing in the lie about cancer. The end, you know, it's like, okay, argue with all of that in two seconds. And Vicki, what does she do? The O face, the purse lip O face. Like she's thinking where her tongue is like pointing and hitting both sides of her lips and looking around and talking very slowly and looking confused. What? What? Well, I don't know. I mean, that's the point. I don't know. I was in a town Tamara. I don't know if it was, it could have been John Hodgekins. It could have been Hodgkin, he perdactle, Dinkle Duke. He just does never TV. And then in the meantime, then she throws Brianna under the, under the boss, like, you know, Brianna is a shitster, you know, good mothering there. Yeah, Brianna is a shitster and she wanted to ruin Brooks and now she did it. That's what she said. You see, that's why Brianna, everybody's like, why is Brianna so mean to her mom? She's not mean. She knows that she's being fake for cameras and she's not going to do it. And she's telling her, no, you don't get to come in and buy me a fucking car and not like you're a good mother. When you're like fucking some guy who's faking cancer, so you could start a business and whatever the fuck else you're doing. And then the first second, we get Vicki finally so mad that she's letting her filter off. I mean, she did just scream Jesus, but still letting her filter off a little bit. The first thing she does is like, oh, that's Brianna trying to ruin Brooks. It's all Brianna's fault that the end of the day. Yes. So then finally, Vicki drives off, which, which gives us an opportunity to destroy some slang even more as Shannon says, by Felicia. So I mean, even if even if it weren't already apparent when Kyle Richards and Heather Thompson, I think Kyle Richards said at one point, but as every success of Lisa, every success of housewife says by Felicia, that slang just gets driven into the ground. I wonder if they knew on the set of Friday, what they were creating in that moment. And I like that it's not even from that anymore. Now it's like a white rich lady thing from Real Housewives. I know. Meanwhile, Shannon's like, it's my favorite slang because Felicia is the name of the only person he didn't bang. Well, I can't say by Amanda. Well, that one's shot. Yeah. Have you ever tried to look at one of those key ring things in the airport gift shop? Can't do it. So then the, uh, so then the, so then the, just having a nervous breakdown, trying to find a name that David hasn't fucked. So then the entire, I was going to have a ring for their keys. Thanks a lot, David. So then the entire season ends with everyone pretty much proclaiming how much they go to church. Everyone's like, if I didn't go to church every Saturday, well, if I didn't go to church, well, thank God I go to church. And then Shannon says, there are so many times in my life where I would get on my knees and I would see Jesus say, I would say, Jesus, I need you. And he would come. I'm like, who's coming? When I always got the impression from a bunch of phonies when I was growing up, that they would say things like that, you know, whenever I need something, I just asked Jesus, he always comes through like, Jesus is your dependable friend who's just there to give you money when you need it or like, save your house when it needs, you know, he's just there. Just call Jesus. Like, you know, I call Jesus and he showed up. So there you go. That's all I need. Now, Jesus, there's a friend. There's someone I'd answer the phone for. Jesus isn't lying on TV. He never did that. So, you know, God bless it. Yeah. Yeah. He's like, I'll just grab it. Oh, just grab it. He just calm up on your app and say, and Jesus, I need help here. And he comes over and he doesn't really just pay him. You pay him with devotion every hour. Oh, you don't need makeup. At the end of the day, you don't need to make a wish Brooks. That's the lesson. You just need to call Jesus. You've got unlimited wishes. Just call him. He'll be right there. I'll have to fake cancer for that. Fix cancer for Jesus. Not Shannon B. Doar. Definitely not Shannon B. Doar. The music. I love that it's always the same. Just playing over and over whenever they say how everybody's doing at the end because the things at the end this year were so, so funny. He's like, Vicki still has a job. Brooks dumped her. What else was hers? I think that's what it was that it's Brooks moved to Florida. Yeah. Brooks is back in Florida. Vicki is detoxing hashtag detox. Yeah. I actually didn't really remember too much of the little notes at the end because they were all kind of generic and predictable. Megan was basically justice. At the end of the day, there was justice and that's all I need. Tamara, I admire struggles. Oh, Tamara's having her in Jesus' moment with that Shannon and David. And she's like, you guys like, I really admire like you guys as Christians like, that she couldn't like church on Saturdays and then you have big minds like. And it's like, yep, there's a lot of purity. That's that. That's our day. Right, David? David? Where are you going? David, come back. David? Yes, that was this. I decided to find Jesus in date night. Shannon, forgiveness is amazing. The Jesus is great at it. I will never forget Vicki. Whatever. So, so many times I would get on my knees. Yeah, I said that Shannon lost 15 pounds. Brooks wants to see her records. That was cute. This year. Oh, Heather. This year was really rough. You know how hard it is going through 90 million dollars and still not having a sink faucet? Like, it's weird. It's inky. I admit it. It's inky. It's so hard. You know, it's so hard. Like, I'm just trying to be everything to everyone, you know, like, you know, it's so hard to figure out where the marble goes and the bathroom or the closet. Like, it's hard. Hard life. And almost as if it knows how fucking beautiful and poetic it is, the real housewives ends with Tamara taking a halo off of a cake and eating it. Now, if that's not a fucking sign from the world above, I don't know what is. Right? Bucket, I'm eating it. Well, Alicia ate it at the proper timing. You know, at least we didn't have another, you know, bowgate. Halo gate. I'm totally with Jesus, at least for a year, because if I quit, I still have to pay for the whole year. Well, I'm eating this halo, though. Well, who knows, maybe Tamara can change because a lot of things change. You know, for instance, next issue has changed its name to texture. Did you know that? Oh, change. Yeah. Texture is sitting in the break room kitchen eating halo right now. But they said our names. We've told you about our sponsor Next Issue and how it's the best way to read all your favorite magazines anytime anywhere. Well, Next Issue's new name is Texture, and it has spectacular new features that make it the best reading experience around. All access passed to the world's best magazines, available right on your phone or tablet, browse hundreds of magazines and cherry pick the articles that interest you most. Yeah, they have like all sorts of things. They have got Flair magazine and Maxim, and they've got Lulu and Lulu French and Interview and Boys Life or Mercado magazine, which I don't even know what that is, but I can go on to Texture and find it. The way that Texture has gritted these magazines for us is funny because they like tell little stories, bike, diabetic, living, golf, Midwest living. You see, that was like a whole story that you just told me. Texture. Texture does great things with these things. So anyway, people, things you should know is that Texture is offering our listeners a free trial right now when you go to texture.com/crapins. Think about that. You'll gain unrestricted access to the world's best magazines from back as she is to the one on newsstands right now. So try Texture for free right now when you go to texture.com/crapins. So thank you, Texture. I know one person who won't be on Texture. Well, you never know. She can run a household. That would be Theresa Judy J because for those of you who were lucky enough to tune in and I'm brought to Bravo on Sunday night. You got to watch Real Housewives of New Jersey. Terry, you set your checks in. Joe? I'm checking in, Joe. Here is this hour in a nutshell. Theresa, it's funny. She's in jail, but she's still can arrange a party. What can you do? What can you do? What can you do? And then it's like, hey, hey, Joe. Hey, Gia. Gia's your makeup on. Yeah, mom. Don't let Nana see you with your makeup running. Okay. What can you do? And then they didn't have anything. So they had to insert the lawyer as an actual character. It talks as one of a housewives with his uneven row of hair that was taken off the back of his like arm and probably his ball sack and put into a terrible line on the front of his head. And then every time they asked him something, he's like, well, Theresa and Joe, at the end of the day, they're good people. And the point is, Theresa's suffering right now in the prison system. Yeah, she doesn't deserve that. Meanwhile, okay, well, thanks for coming by lawyer. Yeah. Meanwhile, Joe, Joe was like, yeah, she's basically in a spa right now. It's basically like a minimum security spa. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no. She's suffering. She's suffering. She's basically suffering right now. And then you get like an insert of like Joe Gorga and Melissa and Melissa being like, I just want to be there for my nieces. Like, I just want to be I know I'm not number one. I know they're going to like call other people, but I want to I want to be number one. Shut up. Babe, this lady came over today and she rang up the doorbell and she was like, hi, I have a delivery and she came in and she went to the fridge and she took out sugar cookies and threw them in the trash. Like, why would Theresa do that from prison, babe? Whoa, whoa, whoa, huh, Theresa, whoa, I love her. We're family. What Joe looks like. He's just been in the worst accident of his life. He's confused. He has no idea what's going on in the world around him. His eyes are just like all over the place. Huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh. Yeah, Christ, man. Stop mainlining the steroids telling. I know. And then his, uh, his cousin Teresa comes in. So Teresa's helping Joe. And then Teresa brings her husband Joe. I mean, everyone on the show is named Joe or Teresa. Let's just, let's just be honest about everyone. You can't even tell them apart based on their voices, but this one you can, because this is, um, lock jaw Teresa. She's like, Hey, yeah, okay. I hear you. He'll hear you. Yeah. Oh, everything's all right over here. It's a tough one, Teresa. I brought you some kids who all. Yeah. So yeah, yeah, that's great. Did you slash Melissa's tires on the way over here? Cause she can't come over here. Yeah. I did it. Joe. It's taking care of that bitch one part of you. Yeah. That's right. So what? Who cares? Yeah. What are you sliding down the stairs? What are you going to do? Just sliding down the stairs. What are you going to do? I mean, you know, I've cried about like 30 times today, but, you know, what are you going to do about? What are you going to do? And he says a million times Teresa, you know, Teresa is the best wife there. She's just a good person. Like she takes care of this. He's really laying it on thick because he knows a second she, that he goes to jail. She's like, divorce. Yeah. Well, she's like, we're going to be together for a long time, huh? Long time. We're going to get all together. And he's like, oh, and then in his interview, he's like, hmm. You know, I think what she means is we'll both reach old age at the same time, but we're not going to be like together together. You know, what can you do? I'm watching this movie in here. And it's called Magic Mine. It's so good, Joe. It's so good. These guys are dancing around. You know, Joe, it's so good, Joe. And I was thinking about getting old, you know, because I was looking at these guys. And, you know, it made me think of us, Joe. Like, you need abs. You need to get all together. I want you to get abs when we're old. Joe, I was, I was, I was watching it. And I was, I kept imagining your, your face on your bodies. And I was like, oh, Joe, it's so hot. But I'm so excited. Because when I get out, you can have abs, right? How are those abs coming out? He's like sitting on a pile of like lemon meringue. He's like, I don't, I don't worry about things like me. I don't worry about things like Gibbs. Who cares? What? He's getting like 100 pounds, by the way. Well, in midget terms, because that would be a lot more in history and short in whatever midget terms. Okay. So, that's a lot of weight, but yeah, he's getting a lot of weight. Don't abs gel. And he's like, oh, no one cares about it. It's what's on the inside. I'm on the inside, Joe. Oh, that's right. Okay. Well, when you come out of prison, you're going to look so good, Joe. The gym, he's amazing. You're going to look so good, Joe. He's going to go in prison. I told the girls, but he's going to come out magic bank. What can you do? What can you do? You know, literally excited for him to go to prison because we'll have to work out and get abs. I'd be excited for that too. Well, I'm in prison, but at least I'll get into shit. Only fucking Teresa. I got to go spin class. Yeah. So they go over everything she has in jail. And Joe's like, yeah, it's like a spot. She's got a spin class. She's got this net. They got, you know, they got a cable. They don't got a DVR, though. You know, it's hard. What are you going to do? What do you think? What can you do? She's a good mom. She's a good, she's a good, she's a good person. Meanwhile, Gia. So now Gia is 14 and she's becoming a young lady, which is kind of crazy. She's looking a lot like her mom. She is like not talking like a little girl anymore. So now she's a full on Real Housewife interview session now. Yeah, she is like the interview session. She's been through three hours of hair and makeup. She is all glowy and shiny. And she does the treat. She knows how to answer politically, which I mean, that's saying a lot when we're talking about Teresa. She is similar to Teresa. And I noticed that she does Teresa's little head flip. You know what Teresa makes a point? And she does like this flip. It's like a fake flip of her hair. She just uses the tips of her finger and doesn't even touch her hair, but acts like she moves like she just flipped her hair. Yeah, it does that too. Yeah, yeah. She meology. Well, it's exciting because now that Gia is is now and is on the verge of entering high school, she has shed her adorable little girl qualities and fully embrace the tacky jersey environs around her. And because that's what happens to all the kids in Jersey, they just become super tacky. So congratulations, Gia. You have reached the next level of your jersey done. Well, so her hair is still flat. Her hair is flat. But she's got that, you know, she's got the well, to be fair, she's using her mom's makeup artist. So that's that's half the problem right there. One is she's 14. And her mom's like she she got dealt a shitty hand. Yes, I mean, a very large, honed, very well, or expensively dressed, not well dressed, but expensively dressed parents that still shit hands, you know, there's still shit cards. And she's young. And so part of me doesn't want to say much about her, but then you see a team of like kiss assy stylists surrounding her that her mom called from prison and make sure her hair is did right for three hours and like a full face of makeup that all these people are running around being fame horse acting like they care so they can get like a Twitter retweet from prison. You know, part of it, you see the future and it's scary. It's scary. It's a scary future. I know, I think it's just always sad when you see like an adorable, adorable young child then start to turn into the turn into the Jersey Shore stereotype that no is coming for them. And you're like, no, oh, no, it's happening. Oh, she's going on this show that it is a lot like the bitch flower blooming. Like in season one, the seed is planted. It seems like it's going to be a lovely plant. You water it, you water it at the end of the year, it sucks. And then the next season, suddenly you've got this beautiful bitch flower in the garden. And she's not, you know, she's still a little bud. We're still watering her. We're hoping it doesn't come out to be just like a giant, you know, weeping willow that's like dropping long horrible leaves all over the lawn. We're hoping that it's a beautiful rose. The chances are it's going to be a bitch flower. Yeah, it almost always is. It's one of the most reliable flowers out there. I'm not a betting man. But I would bet that that bitch flower will bloom in about four. Yeah, it's also weird to see Melania is also suddenly has had like a growth spirit. She, I feel like she's looked like she's four for the past five years. And now all of a sudden, she's 10 years old. And she's like, it's weird. She's 10 years old. She has one of the things that you wish all kids had where they could just retain their cuteness. No matter how big they get, they still have the same face. Yeah, like G as you can kind of see changing now. But yeah, hers, no, you can't. It's so cute. I love her. She's like a bigger version of herself with more words. And yeah, exactly. Now she's saying more articulate senses and she's ratting out Gia because Gia has a date named like Dante, and he's got earrings. And I mean, Melania was funny. Melania's basically like so good. I love her. I still love her. I love her so much. The silent one. The silent one still looks like she's miserable. And even Audrey, Audrey on was actually being really cute. Yeah, I think there are, I think all the kids are super cute. I liked it at the beginning when they're cook, when Joe's like, ah, this is morning. And they're sliding down the staircase, which is so funny. Because you know, they all do it because they can't want to recess there. He's like, what? Okay. So no one's dead. Whatever. Like they made it. All right. I don't know how this works. This is silly. And he's like trying to hammer some sausage. He throws a frozen raw sausage into a frying pan. I was like, oh, Jesus. And then he throws up throws and he's like, yeah, that'll do it. And Melania just loves it. It's like camping with her dad and goes over and cooks it. And at one point he tells her, yeah, you know what Melania, you always acting like, like you better than everybody else. Like, like what the hell? She's like, it's because you guys are annoying and I am better than you. I act that way because I am better than you. She knows what's up. Well, I just think it. So the like the every time Teresa called in, they would, it was like the same thing every single time she would make. They made Geo cry so many times this episode. And Teresa calls and she doesn't say anything particularly interesting. It's more like, Hi, I can't believe I'm missing it. You guys being good? Okay. Bye. Hey, mommy, did a bicycle for 20 minutes. Oh, did you get the stylist? Huh? Okay, I had someone come over and make you dinner. Did you get that? Huh? Huh? Did the back wax to come? Huh? Huh? Is none out there? Huh? Okay. How much chicken you order from prison? Like seriously, so much stuff was coming. There were people in there all day and they it was Geo's eighth grade graduation and they threw her party and Teresa did the whole thing from prison. There were balloons, there were decorations style, multiple stylists. There was Brazil. How do you go Brazil? Did you get Brazil? Huh? Did you get a did you get a? Yeah, no, I mean, she I mean, this is the you know, when people say like, how do you control things? Like how do mob bosses control things from prison? That's how. This is how right here. But I still it's still really honestly it really bothers me every time the show gets really serious and the music the music gets serious and people are wiping away tears and it's like just trying to keep the family together. The sacrifices were making the kids are so brave. The kids are brave. I mean, the kids the kids are dealt a bad hand that they have to deal with this. But I'm like, it's not it's it's it was their parents own doing. It was greedy crime criminal parents who did this. They're not victims. Are they fucking criminals who stole from other families? You know, they took all they did a lot. I mean, they took what they were convicted of not not good. Okay. Or were they both convicted or did they but who settled? Teresa settled, right? Uh, facts. I don't care. Who cares? Whatever. It's Bravo. They're both convicted of something in my mind. But only they would be in this shit pile and not only shoot it, but also still be living in a mansion with shit that you know is not paid for. Where are they getting that money? Joe's not working. The show's not on. There's no savings. They've been bankrupt forever. They rated Teresa's house before she went to prison a few times because she was not being honest about what she had. She wasn't listing her assets. They were coming and rating it and taking things. So they're continuously getting things. Their house is fully furnished, which it's never been before. I mean, what the hell is going on? Where is all this money coming from? It really bothers me. They're they're almost like unapologetic. They don't even seem to fully even acknowledge that they did anything wrong. It's like, it was a mistake. You know, we made a mistake. You know, what can you do? You know, like you make mistakes, you learn things, whatever. You know, it's just it really bothers me. And we talked about this during Atlanta that say what you will about Apollo. He seemed to acknowledge the things that he did wrong. And he seemed to, you know, it seemed like he was, you know, really just face take responsibility for being a total asshole, you know, even if he's crazy. You know, he committed the crimes and stuff. These people are like, what? What? What? These people? It was a bad lawyer. We got a bad deal. Oh, and he's actually standing outside and he's crying about his father, which I know makes us horrible to make fun of somebody because they're crying for their father. But sorry, I watched Bravo. And that's gone for me. There's no more of that for me because it's always to cover something else. We just had it with Vicki in the previous show we're talking about. And now we have it with this fucking guy every time they show my dad, my no, no, my dad, my dad, my dad. So what? My dad? He said, he said, he said, he said, it's like, stop, dude. We're talking about you who's still living in fucking a home that's not paid for. For money you stole, what are you doing? How is this okay? And then he's standing outside by trees. He plans to remember his dad, which have credit notices mailed to each of them. And he's like cropping. He's sobbing. And then he goes, life, you know, life just this life just really kicks you to see something like that. Like it really gets you sometimes, you know, this is what life is the trials and you got to just keep going. It's life. Like you were nothing happened to you. You understand? Not even real repercussions happen. You're not even going to spend a year in prison. And he starts talking about, he starts talking about like how, you know, it's like, it's hard, you know, trying to keep a family together. And you know, I don't even, you know, I don't even have a license. So I can't even pick up the kids. Like, yeah, you know why you don't have a license? Because you, you, you're driving drunk. And on top of that, you tried to, you tried to like use your brother's license at the DMV. You tried to be fraudulent. You know, like, don't, why? I'm not going to feel, I'll feel bad for you that you lost your dad. Yes, because that's a terrible thing. But I'm not going to feel bad for you for all the other shit things in your life and how hard it is, now everyone has to pitch in and how hard it is like, Oh, you know, trees, trees dad doesn't like to see his daughter's granddaughter cry. I was like, well, you know what? Like if he doesn't want to see his daughter, granddaughter, you know, upset, that's, that's your fault. That's on you. Everything is on you. And I'm not going to feel sorry for you. And then every time the music slows down, maybe I'll feel sorry. I'll feel sorry for the kids, but I'm not going to say this. I don't feel sorry for anybody. And I, as much as I get all self righteous about who did what crime and how they deserve this and that, I honestly laugh so fucking hard watching this just because they've always been so full of shit. Like I love that even when they get called on it and they're in actual jail, they're still not willing to admit anything real. Everybody's so full of shit. And it's so funny. You stand. Oh, everybody has to go dead, dead, dead. Like what are you doing? You're so disgusting. I love it. Well, you know, they're a family that's built on lies because everything from what we tell the kids, we tell the kids mommy's at work. Well, we tell the kids that we don't like to say prison. Don't let no no see Gia crying. I don't let someone see this. Don't see this from this person. Don't say it's just it's a disaster. And I wonder why they have so many issues with each other. Also, the Gia said a couple times, like how nice prison is. Yeah, and how it's no big deal. And it's fine. You know, mom's fine. I miss her. But she's fine. She's doing great. You know, the trees is like, I got to go to exercise class. Bye. Talk to you later. And you're teaching them. Well, who cares what you're teaching? I mean, it's a fucking Bravo show. But at the end of the day, of course, those kids, when your kids end up going to jail and thinking nothing of it, don't be surprised. Yeah, same. Mulan you'll go for sitting on a piece of salmon in a fucking grocery store. You can't do that when you're in the talk, Melania. She will definitely she'll get drunk and make her way over to Daggarsina's. Mm. Well, this was actually a full hour. But honestly, they put that lawyer in I swear to you for six or seven testimonials, like he was a real housewife. I was dying every time. Well, the feelings, it's like sad music. And he's like, people hurt. And this couple has hurt. This couple has felt pain. Have you? Call me. Yeah. The back of the the back of the bus is talking darling. And then Rosie showed up at one point and was like, Hey, yeah, Joe, you're gonna get a boyfriend in jail? Yeah, boy. Yes. So good. Yeah, when Joe is telling Joe is telling her first, we got to see Joe doing a job made for Joe, standing on a roof, throwing trash off of it. Yeah. Like I'll like talk about something you were born to do to me. Yeah. So Rosie comes over and and visits visit him at work. And he's telling her about prison sex. And he's like, Oh, yeah, you should hear three. She says that like, you know, it's hard for her to sleep and I because you know, all these people have in sex, like all this older sex noises. And Rosie's like, how do how do I get sent? What's a white car? Buy me a white collar. I'm gonna commit a crime. Yeah. And they were she's like, so what are you gonna get a boyfriend in there? And he you know, there's been rumors for a long time. Well, he remember there was that one time when he was like, yeah, you know, me and my friend one don't you know, we like show each other penises, you know, what he can do, you know, you're not a fag if it's in a if it's in a truck stop, you know, yeah. So if there's a hole in the wall and you can't see the face, like, what do I know? Anybody could be back there could be I could be hip-apatamite. You know, like what? What do I know? Gay? What's that? What I'm happy? Yeah. Stupid. Okay. So what? Teresa calls him and he's sitting on the couch. Hey, yeah, we watch magic Mike. You want to have fun sex? Like, yeah, I'm sitting on the couch. Let's have couch sex. Joe, at the end of the day, you still get such cute scenes. I don't know. It's like baby lions, you know, you see them eating off a dead or a deer's head. But at the same time, they're, it's just their nature, you know, that's cute. Let's just keep watching smiling. I mean, I'm going to keep watching. I just think that there's just nothing going on on this show. It's fizzly watching some people put on makeup, put on a dress, gather together, eat some food, and then someone calls. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, not muck, muck. Hey, Joe. Hey, I got some news. Joe, Joe, I felt your guess up with, I got Teresa's text in the sky, Joe. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So what? Okay. So, you know, do whatever. Stay, go. I'm okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, bravo. What a fun week. This was on the old braves. There was some I'm a packed craziness going on. I know. The only thing that makes me sad is official word that secrets and wives was not renewed paralyzed. Oh, no. Did they officially cancel it though, because sometimes bravo will just not renew stuff but never cancel it. Well, I think it was canceled because Cindy C posted on our Facebook page a tweet from Susan who says so sad bravo decided not to renew secrets and wives. Oh, why is it the curse? Is it us? Did we do this? I think so. Anytime we really like a show, bravo cancels it. Oh my god. And they're like, here, let's have a third manzo spinoff. It's about Christopher going to a vending machine. I just got a letter. It's from Bravo. You're not ever going to be licensed again. It's like someone took the thumb out from my ass. It doesn't feel right, paralyzed. You just got not licensed. Well, we have some news. Hey, Max, Max, we have the news of our show being canceled. Is it on the insta? Is it on the insta? Max, I couldn't even find it on the insta because there was so many comments about the table. You broke me. Max, Max. Oh, God. How will we ever find out if she's going to be happy with that dentist and her glued together a key a table? All right, everyone. All right, everyone. Well, we've been going on for two hours and two minutes. So thank you all for listening. You can find us at watchworkrapins.com for all our social media links, including Facebook, Facebook.com forward slash watchworkrapins. Be sure to check me out on Amy Phillips's show on Sirius XM radio on radio Andy. That will be on Wednesday, October 14th. And then Ronnie next week, we believe on the 24th. So, but it could be different. Check our Facebook page to know for sure. And of course, support us on Patreon. We can listen to our bonus episode, which this week was about all sorts of random things like sandwiches and morally corrupt Faera's Nick, amongst other topics. So thanks, everyone, for supporting us. And thanks for listening and we will talk to you later this week. Bye. Bye, everybody. Love you. Texture is the mobile app that lets you tap directly into the world's most popular magazines anytime, anywhere, using your phone or tablet. Try Texture for free right now when you go to texture.com slash crappins. 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