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But get this, the real number is closer to $300. That is literally thousands of dollars a year, half of which you've probably forgotten about. Thankfully, Rocket Money can find a bunch of subscriptions you've forgotten all about, and then help you cancel the ones you don't want anymore. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so that you can grow your savings. Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of $500 million in cancelled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when using all of the app's features. Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com/wondery. That's rocketmoney.com/wondery. RocketMoney.com/wondery. Next issue is the mobile app that lets you tap directly into the world's most popular magazines anytime, anywhere, using your phone or tablet. The best part? Next issue is offering a free trial right now when you go to nextissue.com/crapins. Again, you can try next issue for free right now when you go to nextissue.com/crapins. Watch what crap is. Watch what crap is. Who cares? What happens when there's so much that crap is? Watch what crap is. Who cares? What happens when there's so much that crap is? This episode of Watch what Crapins is brought to you by our premium Patreon subscribers, Claudia Catalina and Christy Darity. Yay. Hey everyone, welcome to Watch what Crapins, a podcast about all the crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Medlker from the bsideblog.com and also from the banter blender. And joining me as always is this super funny, super caffeinated and super ensconced in his couch desk, Ronnie Karam from trashtalktv.com. What's up, Ronnie? Hello, Ben. How are you? How's the couch desk treating you? Knowledge. Knowledge. I'm right now. I'm leaning back into knowledge, Ben. There's a big divot in knowledge right now. It's your couch just full of truth as well. Truth and justice knowledge. Yeah, I'm flattening the truth in this in this couch, man. Did you hear that? What was it? It was a thumping. I was like a ghost. I wonder if people on the podcast, it was a poltergeist. It was a poltergeist on the podcast. I didn't hear it, which means it was probably me. It's the sound of mega knocking for more knowledge. Knock, knock. It's making. I have some questions for you. Knock, knock. Who's there? I don't know. Why don't you tell me I'm looking for knowledge? We wish you a merry knowledge. We wish you a merry justice. We wish you a merry truth and a happy cancel. I'm happy fake phone call pretending I'm someone with cancer so I can get information on someone I barely know. Justice. So anyway, the big news is that today is national coffee day. And in case you couldn't tell, Ronnie and I have been drinking coffee. That's because we were just recording our bonus episode for the week, which was wow, so fun. We were off. We were just bonkers. I was ranting. I was ranting. I told a story about swimming and an altercation I got into with an old man. We talked about buying things. We talked about humanity. Ronnie talked about meeting Adrian Maloof and his interaction with her. So I know everyone wants to hear that. And then my fascinating interaction. I was like, hi. And she was like, hi. Okay. Bye now. Bopee. Bye. And then we talked about 15 minutes about Patti LaBelle and Mac and Cheese. So if you want to hear the bonus episode, we do want every week. It's available to people who support us on patreon patreon.com forward slash watch or crop ends. You just go over there and you can pledge like a dollar an episode and whatever you want to do. You'll see what you can do over there. There are a lot of different options and then you can get access to the bonus episode and a whole lot more like ringtones, et cetera, et cetera. So go there for that Facebook. Oh wow. We are over 4900 likes on Facebook Facebook dot com for slash watch or crappins. We are really, really killing it there. We're almost at 5000. So like us there and for the rest of our social media, including our brand new vine page, we're putting up really funny videos. Go to watch or crappins.com and see the links to Vine and Instagram and Twitter. Now, of course, one thing you can do, aside from by the way, subscribing on iTunes and Stitcher, is with Patreon, we have a few slots, well, some premium slots. And every week, we give a shout out to our premium subscribers once a week, which, you know, our Claudia Catalina and Chrissy Darity. At this point, I've actually memorized their names. I don't have to look at the sheet of paper. Claudia Catalina. They are sugar. They are sugar mamas, but there's a new, a new lady in town. All right, because we have our first ever super sponsor, super premium, whatever we're calling it, super sponsor. And this is actually a surprise for her. She doesn't even know she's a super sponsor. This is a birthday surprise to Jessica Halford Porter. Jessica, Jessica birthday. The notorious JHP, your husband, Kevin, bought you a super premium sponsorship. And he, he wants us to give you a birthday shout out, because he says, he says, quote, she's my beautiful, kind, smart, and fun baby. I love her. And she means the world to me. Oh, not only does your man listen to a Bravo podcast with you, but he contacts it for you. I mean, that's pretty good. That's dedication. That makes me believe in love. I hope right now you guys are in the car and you're driving and it's sunset and you're looking at beautiful scenery. And there's a tear in your eye and you guys are rubbing each other's legs. And then you look each other in the eye, but don't crash because yeah, keep looking straight ahead straight. Yeah, pull over, pull over, pull over, and then just like look at each other deeply, you know, and then say something really rude and then keep driving and pretend it never happened. Ronnie and I will start with you like little animals in a Disney movie. Okay, I hope you're doing kissing. So Jessica, congratulations. And thank you for being our first ever super sponsor. And really, we should thank Kevin. Kevin, thank you for being a wonderful and adorable husband. Thank you for sponsoring Jessica's super sponsor. Thank you for making me believe in love. We're believing in love. So happy birthday. Happy birthday. It's a little early. I think I think that Jessica's birthday is a little bit over birthdays in October 1st. So happy early birthday. Happy birthday, you guys. So Jessica, right now I realized that when I sat down before the show, I had some string cheese. And I put it on my lap. And I forgot about it. And it was under my stomach fold. And I like between my lap and my, you know, belly. And right now I picked it up in eight a piece. But there's like little hairs. And it's making me wonder, how did I get eyelashes? On my belly. But there you go. There you go. You had a little panini press on your mozzarella stick. If that if we didn't open romantically, let that be your gift. Yeah. Our gift to you is that we are basically taking we're basically turning this podcast into discussions about you. What's your favorite thing about Jessica? What's your favorite thing about Jessica? I love that she'll still love me, even though I'm still eating furry string cheese. Will you still love me for the rest of your life? So talking about real love, why don't we move into Orange County? Yeah, let's marry Jay Blige. There's real love and get to the O C. This week before we begin discussion about the actual show because we do talk about the well, I guess we can get to this when we talk about the cancer justice, because it's just an article that was posted that's just all about the tea. Yeah, and it was posted to our Facebook page. So thank you for posting that's where I get all my news, knowledge, knowledge, knowledge database on a watchful crappins page. The title is like second pitches proof. Oh no, it's called that was big brother. Sorry. I'm getting my dumb blonde bitches messed up. This is called by haters Brooks errors provides proof all caps. He has cancer medical records revealed. So it's like, oh my god, there's actual records, but it's just like screenshots of the thing. And it's like, yeah, now everybody can suck it because it's true. And then the comments are so good. I mean, oh yeah, I've read that this document is a fake. I've done medical transcription for over 15 years. And if this is a real report, the transcriptionist needs to be fired. I can't believe this is real. I've seen cancer up and I've seen cancer up and close. This is not even close to the real deal. Rihanna is an RN. She's also had her own personal bat with cancer. She knows that one. Yeah, I'm behind that one. That concert. You win tart lemon. Tart lemon victorious in all the comments. You did it. Your special prize is this half eaten string cheese with belly button for someone who's so taught your comments certainly is sweet. Sweet comment. Tart lemon. Yeah. So there you go. Breaking news. That was a little, that was a little bond known for Jessica the birthday girl. You're welcome. Circle those wagons. Circle it back. That's right. So I guess we'll get to talking about cancer. It's real. Cancer is real. It's a real thing. Like there's real people in the world and they have real cancer. Okay. It's not like fake people with fake cancer. It's like fake cancer. Hashtag fake cancer justice. No justice. Oh god. I can't wait for the justice justice lead to come out. She is gonna have an orgasm. Yes. It's a movie about my favorite thing, justice and leagues. Knock knock knock. Hi. I'm gonna support my justice league. It's only five cents per mile. I fly in the name of justice. I'm in a fantasy justice league. I get five points for every time justice is served. Even if it's just fantasy justice. It still feels good to play. Hey, I got your fantasy justice results. You've been diagnosed with not cancer. Okay. I really like fantasy justice because normally I used to only care about my justice. But this gives me a stake in other other people's justice. I thought I might have cancer. So I went to the doctor because that's what normal people do. And then when I got the report, it said no justice. I don't know who to venture who to start on my fantasy justice team. Do I start Brooks's cancer? Or do I start Obamacare? I don't know. If you've had three kinds of cancer, who's the linebacker? Look, football. I got in there. You see? You did. You did. Even though you know, linebackers aren't right. I don't know. Don't say it. No, no, no, no. I learned this weekend from my cousin-in-law. Is that a thing? Yeah. I learned from him that the left linebacker is the most intelligent person on a football team. You welcome #knowledge. I really like left linebackers because they pursue knowledge the most. They actually use knowledge when they play football, knowledge, justice. Yeah. The justice. Punct the justice. I love touchdowns because it's like a big moment of justice all at once. Justice pun. I always spike a ball whenever someone gets justice. Vicki's new vodka should be called Vicki's pig skin justice. Vicki's bloody pig skin justice. Okay. There was an actual episode on this week and it was about justice. Okay. Let me open my notes. We're only 30 minutes in. I'll get the notes open. All right. Well, I can start with my notes because I took about a million notes. I want you to type things onto a page, John. We'll call them notes. It's going to revolutionize the industry. Put it on happy hour, Telling. Yeah, Chef Ben, here's a word processor from 1988. Type everything you think right on this. Okay. Go. Let it in the word processor, darling. All right, Chef Ben, here's some bank street press. All right. Type something in it. We'll make them eat their words, darling. Literally. Literally. Now, I want you to print out this thing on print shop and put a banner on top of the restaurant that says congratulations to enough for everyone. We'll get a stencil made. Panty will be out there. Maxwell probably try and sniff it. Don't tell him we're doing it. You know, I haven't cleaned table number 10 again. All right. I want a new menu. I'll put it on the way in computer. You can print it out. Chef Ben, I had to watch supermarket suite to find out what we were serving this weekend. Could you, you know, get me a letter, darling. Chef Ben, have you been able to fix the compact computer, please? I think there's some instructions on prodigy if you dial in. Oh, darling, don't use the IBM. Camille has that. She's very sensitive, darling. Penny, Penny, don't you realize that when you get to this part of the program, you have to take the disk out and turn it over and put it back in to get to the rest of it. To teach you everything, Penny. Floppy disk. They've named someone after Ken and I sex live. Oh, darling. Penny, what the hell are you doing? You can't put your finger in the middle of the floppy disk. Run it. Oh, it's awful. That's not how you rewind a floppy disk, Penny. All right, Penny. I'm going to put a turtle in the middle of the floor and you lie on to logo. All right. And then what you do is you just tell the turtle how far you want it to go. It's going to make a big diagonal line across pump. It'll be wonderful, revolutionary. All right. Rotate 10 degrees. Make another line now. Flesh Roomba's coming through. Ken, darling. You're a shade off from Jiggy. Get back in the closet, darling. All right. Penny, this is going to blow your mind. I got something that's called a mouse. It's not a real mouse, so don't worry. We're just going to plug it into the computer. It's going to be able to point at things. Wonderful. Revolutionary. It's poor pickles. Cross over. Why are we, how do we get on to Chef Fenny controlling old computer tech? I don't know, but that's a really bad sign for this episode. Or an amazing song. Amazing. Okay. So speaking of dinosaurs, it's date night on the ocean. Am I like good enough? Am I like batch? Am I like not a batch enough to become a question batch? That's what they opened. They were like previously on the real half size. But like, would you just think I'm hot batch? So the first scene is it's Shannon and David going on date night. And so they go to one of these restaurants on the on the water and Shannon's very excited. Wow. Nice date night. Wow. David. David is a social for me. How many measures does that have you shown the ocean? David? David. Well, we've been waiting in the parking lot for five hours for the sunset, but I will admit that it's very good lighting on negative thought number 37, which is crossing my vision right now. So perfect timing, David. Yes, the air. You know, David, for our date night, I would appreciate it if you took me somewhere where I would not be blinded by the sun and lose my vision even more. But I guess that's what you don't care about. Sorry, dear. I've ruined the sun. I'm sorry, dear. Let's call a meeting. David, I do wish you would have told me we would be dining on fresco. I would have put on some SPF 30, but I guess you don't care about my skin in any future melanomas. David, apparently you don't read signs because it's sunset, and that's what we're trying to avoid in this relationship. So here lies Shannon Bador, killed by a sunset while her husband tries to romance her. David, I thought you knew that I like sunrises, not sunsets, blinded by the orange by Shannon Bador. It started as a wonderful day, only three negative thoughts by 807, and then the hill started to decline. David, thank you for bringing me to this date where I could be reminded that the days are getting shorter, just like our relationship. David, chapter number four, I thumb up my butt. Sorry, dear. Slash. Sorry, dear. David, something. David, I can't help but wonder if you let's daylight savings time. How much do you say for me? David, David. David left it midnight and he came back at midnight. I didn't think anything else until the next night at sunset because it was at a different time. David, David, where were you, David? David, weird, dear. Check my iCloud. It says find my friend says I've been here at midnight and here at midnight. Sorry, dear. I've ruined iCloud. David, where were you between the hours of 3 a.m. and 4 a.m. I was journaling and I said 259 a.m. David isn't bad. Then I looked at the clock. 4 a.m. David isn't bad, but I have no record of you in between that. Well, dear, it was spring forward, spring forward into a mistress. David, David. I've never trusted daylight savings time. By the way, I did it right. By the way, yes, I am an idiot. I know it goes from 2 a.m. to 3 a.m. right away, but just forgive me. Right now we're going to start using our brains. Forgive me. Forgive me. I was in the moment. Okay, I was in the moment. David. So this was really cute and Shannon looked so pretty with her hair and stuff. I could just imagine her there in her makeup chair surrounded by all of her people going, I don't want to talk about my friend. I don't want to betray my friend, but her brooks doesn't have cancer. I mean, I can read. So. Yeah. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Well, first that she, before she could even talk about brooks, there was a lot of stuff, a lot of assaults to Shannon's peace of mind. First of all, she had to choose what she wanted to drink her Grey Goose in. She's like, I think I'll have my Grey Goose instead of in a tall glass this time. Tall. Like your mistress, David. Does this glass remind you of anything? Oh, well, I'll have that. I'll have that on the rock. Sound familiar, David? I'm familiar? Highball. Does that remind you of when your mistress says high balls to your balls? David? Wow. Wow. Our relationship is, you know, at some set period and it's on the rocks and you've ordered an Inker steam, David. Would you like to just call a plane? Because Heather knows someone. Hmm. David should just fling myself over this balcony into the water. Would you like that? David. David. Oh, God. I can't climb it so hard. I don't have any muscle tone. Oh, I'm so fat. Okay. Looking at this menu. The only reason why I'm not flinging myself in this ocean is because I know you went scuba diving with your mistress and I refuse to do the same thing that you did with her. When my personal trainer has worked me out enough that I can climb that ball, I am going to jump over it, David. Dear, would you like some empanadas? David. That's just a bunch of fat. It's like wearing a skin skin. Kimmy, David. Never mind. Oh, thank you. No, David. Geez. What are you trying to do, David? What are you trying to choke me with my own fat, David? David, are you a witch? Am I in my riddle? Are you leading me into an oven? An oven of my own shame? David. David, why are you fattening me out? It was so funny because she looks so pretty and he's all gelled and terrified eyed, which I guess is nice. And they're at this beautiful sunset and you know they waited three hours to get into so they could shoot right at the sunset. And it's just beautiful and then just like, oh, geez, I'm so fat. I exercise for two and a half hours today. I can't have an empanada. I exercise for seven hours and talk to Tamara for 13. How many hours is that, David? How many hours have I been awake? Oh, I'm so starving. What's more fattening meatballs or the glass of lard that you have made into a milkshake and topped with mayonnaise? Which one's more fattening? And then finally they're like, well, I'll be doing the meatballs. She's like, okay, fine, we'll do the meatballs. Which one's fried? And she's like, well, one's deep fried, but meatballs aren't deep fried. I mean, they're like in the pan, but they're not deep fried. She's like, okay, I'll do the meatballs. Like, wow, you're really going to make a dent there. It's also like, way to take the joy out of meatballs. That's like a great choice. You take your own meatballs. It's like you're killing romance meatballs and just the general waiting tables experience all in the same time. All right, I guess I'll have something delicious. All right. Yeah, so that was funny just because Shannon's always talking about losing weight, but she doesn't seem to understand the basics. Like, you know, salad. I guess I'll have a croissant. Do you have any vinegar to drink? The last place did. I was right in the middle of the table instead of bread. I mean, it was for poor people, but you know, at least I'm making an effort. Louise brought it to me. So what did they talk about? So then they're talking about how Vicki had texted Shannon in the wake of the lunch from last episode. Vicki texted Shannon and told her that she thought lunch was nasty and vicious. And Vicki says, "I don't think you're nasty and vicious, but I thought lunch was." And the chance is like, "I don't say the difference." Shannon had a solid minute of looking around with that awkward, semi-frown, surprise-disappointed thing she does with like combo, where she looks like she just got a chill down the back of her neck. She's like, "That's what her spirit's saying." I mean, if Vicki came over, I would lift up the chandelier for her. I mean, she's such a good friend. I don't know why she thinks I'm nasty and vicious. Oh, I guess I'm Hitler now. So, well, I mean, I don't know. There you go. I've got it. I killed a bunch of Jews. Okay. There it is. That's a slaughter of humanity. That's me. That's me. Shannon Bitor, murderer of anybody not like me. There it is. Things are falling apart between them. Things are falling apart between Vicki and Shannon, and so we're being told, even though they only had one, really only one, one tip. Well, there was another. There was that birthday dinner thing, but there are things that are falling apart. Yeah, but look how fast things happen. You know, I didn't. It used to be I was on the side of Vicki, team Vicki, all the way. How did you read? And now I don't speak with Vicki, and I have a strong friendship with Heather Jubrow and Tamara Judge. Tamara Judge and Heather Jubrow. There you go. No Vicki. No Vicki, but Heather Jubrow and Tamara Judge. Who? Who would have thought? Hell has frozen over. Hell has frozen over. My standards have just lowered a lot. I'm using both of their names, both of their regular name and their God-given name, just so there's no confusion. You know, I don't want to confuse me, buddy. And then them, excuse me, of being Malpow or whoever killed all those other people. Say Malpow. I mean, I feel like I'm Cambodia here. Just a lot of people left them right. Okay, so the next scene is Tamara getting a visit from her pastor, which is, I mean, this is pretty much on par as the pope. We're on the street. Tamara's getting her pasture. Tamara's been put out to pasture. We're not on the street. Yeah, so the pastor comes in and I just talked over you, but that was funny. The pastor coming to Tamara was the equivalent of the pope showing up in DC and New York, especially now because the pope's riding around behind all the nice cars and a little fiat. Yeah, the pope was like, I was going to go to California, but I heard there's a pastor's got everything under control. I can't take the fee out through the pasture and it'll get stuck. So this pastor was hilarious. She's like, well, I'm excited because baptism isn't for perfect people. Just people with a sincere heart. Tamara's like, oh, well, I guess I don't qualify then. Sorry. Since you're a heart, you say? Okay. Oh my God. I love when he's like, okay, now baptism isn't for the perfect. Okay. So anybody can be baptized. All we ask is that you wash your face first because other people put their face in there. And before you know, we're all just going to break out and pause some things. So please just wash your face first. Jesus isn't here to be your astringent. Jesus isn't with Jazel is my point. He's like, listen, okay, batch baptism is like buying a gun. All right, you don't have to be perfect and anyone can do it. All right, just do it. Get baptized. Batch. And then Tamara's like, I've been meaning to ask. Well, Tamara's like, is baptism like, do you have a party for that batch? And if so, are there things to swing on because like, if everybody is hung, then nobody's hung. You know what I mean? She's like, my baptism is like a coming out party. It's like, I'm coming out of the closet. Bitch, that's not what a coming out party is. All right. It's not a party every single time a gay man comes out of the closet. Coming out party is an entirely different thing. She's such an idiot. I know. She's like, I've hidden it, and I've hidden it, and I hit it. And now I love Jesus. Oh, yeah, I hit it. You can watch me hiding it batch in episodes one through 13, hiding it, hiding it, hiding it. Remember when I was talking about it at lunch? Remember I was hiding it so well that Eddie didn't even know. And I was like, yes, you do, honey. I've been hiding it all the time. And he's like, oh, yeah. And then he ate that rice bowl. Remember batch? You know what? Like, my favorite song is Jesus Take the Wheel, except I like to change the lyrics to Jesus Take the Cut Fitness, because I don't want to do it anymore. Thank God Jesus didn't take the real estate license batch. Jesus take the spin class. So Jesus is gonna be Jesus is our new star of our new sex YouTube commercial. I mean, let's face it. I didn't become a Christian until I saw him in a loin class, parting so hard with his rock hard abs that he cried, let batch. That's my kind of guy, cut fitness, you guys. So as they're talking about, like, as the pastor's just talking about the, you know, just what you got to do and this and that, I was like, oh, Tamara's gonna cry. Tamara, first of all, Tamara does not sit on a couch unless she's gonna cry. All right. If she will always start crying if she's on a couch and she's talking to a pastor, she's gonna find some reason to cry. So first thing started out fine. She's sitting there, she's taking notes on a clipboard about repenting the pastor's like, okay. So one thing you got to do is you have to repent and she has like, takes that a clipboard sick. Oh, okay, taking notes. Like, how does one do that? How does one show remorse? What is repent? Can I do a float chart on that? Okay, great. Like a refund. Yeah. And then, and then talking about repenting and this and that. And the producers go, I was just gonna say the producers were amazing this episode because they started playing the dumb coconut music. I always thought the coconut music when the music goes, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. They started playing that over Tamara. I'm like, oh, repenting. Okay, great. You're gonna. So good. This is all repenting. All right. Take the fat clown music and turn it into repenting music. And they did it all episode long, but you were going to, I started talking over you. You were going to say something about it. No, I was talking over you, but that's just talking over each other. The, I like when he was saying, the Holy Spirit lives inside of you. It's inside of you. She's like, Oh God, I'm not telling Eddie. And then she said, yeah, it's like a GPS. It's like a GPS for life. It's like a map 100 feet. You're gonna make a right to murder your child. And one in five feet turn left at the burning bush. I keep getting the feeling like Tamara's in her spiritual GPS, the same things like rerouting, rerouting, rerouting, searching, searching, that signal. Turn around and make a left. So then. So sure enough, as predicted, all of a sudden Tamara's crying, because now she's talking about the church. And she's like, I feel like I've been a bad role model for Ryan. And now all of a sudden she's crying. It's like, Oh, here we go. As predicted. Her big thing is that she's concerned that she's been on, she's now on her third marriage. And she's a bad role model for Ryan and he's not going to get it together. Yada yada. I just want to be I just want to show him because like marriage, you know, like now he's stuck with this woman. She starts going into this therapy session. And the poor preacher's like, I'm here for your 10% bitch. Like, he's like, okay, you're forgiven. God loves you. Jesus is a side show. Yay baptism. And she's like, and then he met this girl on Instagram. And then like one like on his post, you know, Ryan doesn't get a lot of likes on his most. And I feel like it's because of how I raised him. He's like baptisms are for since your hearts, not bleeding hearts. Okay, bye bitch. He's like, well, you know, I wouldn't force Ryan into a baptism. A bathtub might not be a bad idea. John water. Good idea. But no, it doesn't have to be holy water. I could just it could just be water. Okay. Just, you know, doesn't want to be swimming around in a pool of your base anyway, Tony. Yeah. So it's nice to see that Tamara now that now that Ryan's pushing 30 going on 50s, I see the now Tamara's concerned about being a bad role model. You know, it only took 30 years. So I was embraced with the religion, you know, like when I was growing up, like one time my mom said, Holy shit, this can is hard to open. I was like, wow, religion. Otherwise, I don't even heard of Jesus, you know? It's like your your shitty relationship will not be fixed by Jesus. She started going over this whole thing about how she's a terrible mother. And of course, you know, the preacher as did the audience, you know, there was nothing to really disagree about. He just kind of sat there and shook his head slowly in a shell necklace. Yeah, he's like, listen, I'm a pastor in Orange County. I've seen way worse. Yeah. He shouldn't. He's like, I don't get paid enough for this. So then the next scene, Brooke and Vicki meet up with Lenka, Lenka, that German wellness expert at the office of Dr. German Zermino MD, or just German Zermino MD. Welcome. Hello, it's me. Oh, did you just come back from my sister's link with her sister's name? Hello, hello and Lenka. Hello and Lenka. Yeah, we have, we have folk trio and our third sister is gone. I'm in high school. Someone called me hello, Lenka. So, so we know, so they're at a doctor's office. So immediately, we know that this is Vicki and Brooks's attempt to show that Brooks has the cancer. But we also know that this is going to be total bullshit because Lenka set up the meeting. They're like, oh, thank you, Lenka, for setting up this meeting with a doctor. So meanwhile, Lenka's like run a store, been the head of the junior league. She's like, like, every random German lady job on this show. No, Lenka and Hello are two different people. But Lenka is the one who said, get a coffee enema and get the nutrients from the earth by walking around barefoot. And she's the one setting them up with a, with a doctor. Okay. So already, I'm doubting this entire thing. All right. Well, Brooks, Brooks's lines in this were just fucking hilarious. He's like, well, hello, doctor. I mean, he just went on for like five minutes. He's like, although I have cancer, I have inflammation. They're big masses that continue to inflame as they grow. They grow and inflame and the growth therefore pushes the kidney to the point that it is inflamed, which pushes the cancer to grow. So if you have cancer, you'd know that. But if you don't, you, you just would know it. So I thought it might be relevant in particular, give you this conversational in the, in the, in the face as a friend in the neighbor. Hi, Brooks, Chris. Literally that long. It just kept going and going. And then Dr. Zimino felt up Brooks and he's like, yeah, I feel a mess. Meanwhile, cut to Brooks sneaking up golf ball under his shirt, you know. So, so my favorite here was just the whole ridiculousness and fakeness of fakeocity. Okay, let me find the right way. I'll make a dolias. The thickness of the scene was just so funny. Vicki, she's like, oh, here we are. Oh, hey, there, doctor. Oh, gosh, I've got pictures of this doctor in my body. Okay, let me explain. This doctor is very, very serious. He likes to start the cancer, you know, no sandwiches for cancer. He studies Eastern and Western medicine, you know, I'm like, really? Could you be any less specific? I know. And then in the end, he winds up, his treatment is that he basically takes out Brooks's blood and oxygenates it and then puts it back in because that's crazy. Who does that? You know, why takes his blood out and then puts it oxygen in it. It's like one of those soda machines. It's water. Now it's soda. Oh, geez. The world's getting crazy. Where's the water? Brooks, you might want to burp. It's going to be a lot of carbonation in your blood. So then we go to Terri and Heather arriving at some shopping channel, Yvonne or something like that, the studios. I'm just imagining Heather looking at this studio and be like, oh, this is wonderful. We're adding it to our house. Terri, I want to put a shopping channel in our house. Terri, this is as big as the bedroom we built for the golf cart's keys. Nice work. Oh, I know this designer. We met an acting class years ago. We spent a lot of time in the chairs, you know. We were not auditioning for the same guest room, but, you know, I'm making no sense. And now I'm eating fuzzy string cheese. So there you go. They walked in. This on air talent management. This was the funniest thing I see. This hostess was, you know how we talk about the facelift head when you get so many facelifts that they just keep pulling up the top of your scalp until it's in the middle of your head? That's this woman. So you have like big love bangs. Like, Kim, what's her fun? What's herself bangs? And then a forehead to the middle of her head. And she's like, Hey guys. And just the open hand like that way. Yes. Hi guys. Hi. Let's talk beauty. It's like let's let's let's talk beauty. So then they start doing Heather and Terri start doing they're doing rehearsal for their for their big moment on the shopping channel. And Heather's doing her whole thing. And I'm like, you know, I feel like somewhere Tamara is pissed off of Heather is a mentioned cut fitness on the shopping channel right now. It was a big platform. She could have mentioned it. Yeah, she was sure to call this time. She wasn't gonna let that pass again. Yeah. So Terri was practicing and Terri really sucked. And Heather was staring at him with so much rage. It was like the return of Maleficent Heather's been good. She's she's been on her best behavior all season. She hasn't been a cut fitness. She's just been like trying to do her happy go lucky thing. But ooh, she was giving Terri such a nasty look. It was hilarious. The whole thing. And then her uh, confessionals, she's like, I believe in Terri. I just want him to be all that he can be. It's not easy being an actor. You know, I've studied this for years, years. It's a craft. It's a skill. Terri hasn't studied. So claw hand claw hand. Doesn't understand what it is. But you know, God bless him up. You know, I'll have a nanny pray for him or whatever. And then Terri, this is so phony. And Terri is like, I'm so nervous being on camera. Whoa. It is. I just I am terrified. Heather's the actor here. But I'm terrified. Whoa. Yeah. I'm only on two different TV shows at the same time. But I'm terrified of being on camera. Heather's like, you know, when Terri gets in this way, you either have to claw hand dream like a child or claw hand. Tell him to be a man. So, you know, I dream like a child. Always. Always. Like a man when I need his man's black card. Otherwise, he's a child. That whole thing of Terri pretending to be nervous. I wish they could cut back to the first season of theirs finale where it's a finale party and they're fighting with the Bellinos. Terri looks so giddy that he got to get in a fight on TV. Yeah. Jim Bellino's like, you want, we're going to talk. And he's like, Oh, what are you going to talk about? Oh, no. He was so thrilled to be on TV. Shut up, Terri. You're right. Well, no, I mean, and be fair. Terri, I think gets a get to kick out of some of the idiots on the show. And I think that Terri always thought that Jim Bellino and Alexis, they were both just like stupid trash. So when he saw Jim getting upset, I mean, he was probably like, Oh God, this is going to be good. He's going to make a total fool of himself on my party. I can't wait to see this happen. So yeah, agree. There were some glee with that too. But I definitely sense, I sense when the cameras around at first, Terri was gleeful. Yeah. Yeah, I think so. I think he was excited. So then meanwhile, back in Orange County, more woes for Tamara and Ryan and Sarah, which, and by the way, Tamara was wearing this shirt, this stupid shirt that said, I want Felicia's life. She's always going somewhere. Oh God. That's too long for a shirt. So stupid. Was that designed by Heather Thompson? Was that from the Yummy brand? So long, Felicia, safe travels, Felicia, wherever you're going. Regards, Felicia, comma, sincerely, comma, Heather, mamas. This whole scene with Tamara, it's just, it's got white trash written. Oh my God. I'm just kidding. Just getting more and more. It's like babies running around, the mom hanging out on the stoop watching. Sarah's not working. Ryan is Ryan's looking for a job, but like a gun manufacturer. Yeah. It went from either, what was the first thing he said? Wait, hold on, let me see. It was something I was like, wait a second. What? Wait, hold on. This woman is Forrest Gump. Oh, it's a girlfriend. I was like, wow, that's why she doesn't open her mouth. She's like, yeah, I'll go. Wait, let me see. Eddie's not going to argue with me. They need to help themselves. Oh, Ryan's like, yeah, you know, I've been talking to an aerospace company and I was talking with a gun manufacturer. Have you filled out any kind of application anywhere ever? Or you just talking to random industries you can think up. I talked to the people who invented the stuff that goes on the back of post it special kind of glue. You know, I was really looking into doing refills on vending machines. I think it's a pretty exciting industry these days. You know, no one really just puts wheels on the bottom if you notice that. I just want to do something with a hand dollar. You know, I just I feel really connected to the world when I have a hand dollar. They show that close up of that beautiful little baby. And he's like, I know he's got a real attitude. I mean, he really does. And Tamara's like, I want Ryan and Sarah to go to church to save their relationship. I'm like, I think that his attitude needs to change to save their relationship. Also, listen, if you want to know Jesus's view on a relationship, he never had one. Okay, that's that's his view. It's like, waste of time. Thank you. Wouldn't didn't Jesus not even like a baby out of wedlock? I like when she said, Oh, Brian, you know, like, I don't care. Like, I'll help him. But like, he needs to help himself because, you know, suddenly poor guy is falling on hard times. Suddenly, yeah, he's never he fell on hard times. He's not crawled himself out of hard times ever. Shut up. Suddenly, it's like suddenly Ryan's a mess. Yeah, suddenly, suddenly he's getting another bright green tattoo on his calf. Oh, wow. There goes another high interest loan. Speaking of children with dim futures. No, I mean, it's true. I always talking about you, Bueller. No, Bueller. I always, it's funny. Sometimes I used to do this a lot. And that's, I haven't done it in a while. But when you compare real houses of New York to real houses of of Orange County, or even Orange County Beverly Hills, when you see the the the paths that the children go on on those different franchises, it really says a lot, you know, in New York, they're all going off to college. They're going liberal arts schools doing something, you know, they're going on that path. And then in Orange County, go on an insurance, maybe work at a gun manufacturer, maybe work at OC Angels, or maybe school drop back. Yeah, maybe it's like a dick every once in a while on the internet. Yeah. It really tells a different story. You know, it's a different world. It's a family, a family business we can all get behind, literally. Yeah. So anyway, so we cut to Megan and Hailey. Megan's making a justice salad with chicken and cashews. Do you want to try some Hailey? He was like, no, I don't eat lettuce, because one time I threw up lettuce. Do you want me to leave out the lettuce? No, it's like this whole thing. Like it's just I ate this once and I threw up. I don't know what it is you're making, but I've had it before and it's gross, I threw up. But it's a lettuce cup. It's really cool. No, I can't drink out of cups either, because the thing I threw up from came from a cup. So like, I just don't do cups. Just give me a big ball. It's like, Hey, Hailey. Hey, Hailey. Okay, this is called teriyaki. And it's like you put a chicken and then you like put this sauce, like you go to the store and you find this sauce and it's called teriyaki sauce. And then you open it and you like pour it in a pan. And then you turn, you turn the pan on until it cooks it. And Hailey's like, Um, you're a stupid cop fat bastard. Oh, yeah. Like so Hailey's openly calling me a cop fitness now because I realized it like I was really trying to be the lady from that movie, Stepmom, with Julia Roberts. But then I realized like, no, she just needs a friend to give her $500 every once in a while and do her homework. So now, you know, I conformed myself to a parent that's not really a parent, but somebody who's living with a kid that somebody else is a real parent of. Thanks for that. Long winded explanation. Thanks for the answer. Brooks could never have a conversation. It would last 10 hours. Yeah. Hailey's like, I don't want your lettuce cup or your sympathy. Just get out of my way. I don't even know what a shoe is. That's just like a shoe made of cash. In that case, I'll take it. Okay. Well, then I'll be conforming to the way that, you know, like, fun Stepmom's are supposed to be. And I'm just going to say like, um, like have fun, wear a condom. Yeah, don't get drunk. Have, have, have lettuce. He's like, okay, bye, slap on the ass. Nice, thigh gap, anorexic bitch. I love you. Well, no, Hailey, Heather, I mean, Megan asked Hailey about her future. So like, what do you think you're going to do? You're going to try to find some knowledge. She's like, ah, well, I was thinking about community college, but I don't know. So I'm thinking about maybe going to hair school, but I don't know. I don't know. She's like, you just go drop out. Yeah, I mean, it's cool. Drop on. I'm well rounded. I don't think I can do, I don't think I can do hair school. It just seems like, I don't know, there might be lettuce and stuff. And I don't know. A lot of hairstylists use salads and I like through that I points. Yeah. There's like too many lettuces in the alphabet. Oh, you got the wrong word. Whatever you want to do. That's the right word. Cause I'm just your friends now. Justice, conforming, conforming to fun mom. You know, Hailey doesn't watch Titanic anymore because the iceberg reminds her of iceberg lettuce. Make sure nauseous. Iceberg lettuce straight ahead, because Hailey, you might get nauseous. Well, I'm not going to take care of her anymore, because you know what? That's what police are for. So, sink or swim? So let's get to the happy music because now it's, oh, no, wait, wait, wait. First we have Terry. Oh, I'm so nervous TV. Oh, the camera. Oh, and then Heather goes. That is the most charsuderie tramp. What'd she say? That is the most charsuderie tray I've ever seen. That's the biggest charsuderie. Charsuderie? Charsuderie or charcuderie? Charcuderie. Oh god. Wait, no, no, but before that even happens though, don't we have the scene of Tamara visiting Brooks and Vicki? Oh, do we? Maybe it was so good that I was watching it. Oh, no, this is after. That's after this. Oh, sorry. And she's like, I'm an actor. Oh, yeah. Anyway, who cares? So happy music. No, no, you're right. You're right. You're right. So happy music. Doo, doo, doo, doo. It's like, everything's okay. But no words, of course, because it's not married to medicine, but it's like, dang, dang, dang, dang, dang, dang. And Tamara's playing with a wreath, a big giant wreath from Tuesday morning. And Brooks answers the door and he's like, Oh, well, hello, you trying to steal our wreath? I was playing with the wreath. Hey, Brooks. Hey, Batch. Hey, what's going on? Have Batch. Batch. I don't like your wreath. It looks like an evil eye. Batch. Well, you as, you know, your Vicky's longest tenured friend. So it would make sense for us to give you a call and solicit your help on this matter. And also use the word tenured, which I just learned. And solicit. And solicit. Well, you know, I just wanted you to know, I'm soliciting your help here. I just had a pet smart done. We have brought you here because I think we can all agree that you are the dumbest of Vicky's friends and the least educated. So here is a document with a lot of words all smushed together. I went to pet smart and found out that it wasn't a mask. It was actually a raw hide that I swallowed. And it turns out those don't digest very well. Once it did come out, yeah, I could shape it in all different kinds of shapes. It was pretty amazing. So thanks for coming by. Tell your friends. Oh, yeah, he's like, I have paperwork and he hands over this paperwork and Vicky's just sitting there. First of all, they do this, this seeding thing where whenever they talk to somebody, they're on a sectional and one takes one end of the sectional, like so their knees are meeting in the corner. It's like some power. It's some weird hour move. Yeah. And again, I would like to mention again, the producers were playing the coconut music because Brooks is saying, well, the cancer is getting worse. The chemo is not working. Things are looking bad. I may die. And music was like, boom, boom, ding, ding, ding, ding. That's like, that's bad. He's talking that he might die and the producers are scoring it with funny music. So the cameras reading it. It's like, oh my God, whoa, this is like, like, it's paper. Whoa, this is crazy. It's like, oh, you want my glasses? You want to read my, you want to read with my glasses? It's like, what is, okay, so I'm reading this medical record. So it says that you have a case of loram, ipsum, dole, or sit, I'm at, yes, sector tour. Welcome to WordPress, batch. What's loram ipsum? That sounds bad. You have a bad case of loram ipsum, stage five, loram ipsum. That's the filler they use in your new WordPress blog or like content, content, content, loram ipsum, campsite, campsite, clinic, high, clinic, a high story. I'm reading it right now. I have it on the, on the page in, on the internet, abdomen, clinic, high history, non-Hodgkin Islam, foma, chest, Connecticut, technique. I don't know, there's a lot of words. And then there's like one section where all the words are put together. Findings. There's a large master writing, there's no spaces. And Tamara's like, I mean, I'm not good at reading, but this, this is the longest word I've ever said in my life. Batch. Batch. Batch. Do you know, actually, I just looked it up that loram ipsum translated is a statement about pain. It's, but it's called pain itself. What a way to welcome me to WordPress. I know. Seriously. Batch. I don't understand this medical record. I love that Tamara was too dumb to realize that it was like a bunch of words without the spaces. I mean, she was like, this is a long word. No, it's just five words without the spaces, Tamara. Don't you see there's a, she's like, I get so confused by hashtags. What are all these made up words? Did you trade practice? I'm going to open the business with this word because like, everybody will just be trying to figure it out. Like, don't keep talking about it at parties. Batch. Batch. I'm going to baptize this medical record. Then I'll know if it's real. Consider the source. Batch. Batch. Batch. Batch. Batch. Batch. Batch. Batch. Consider the source. By the way, by the way, I, that just goes to show you how shady this whole thing is because Brooks says, consider the source about Tamara. And what does he do? He uses her to be an ambassador of his medical record. No. Consider the source, Batch. Oh, that's true. Good point. Yeah. It's like, well, I guess I'm a good source now, Batch. He's like, well, I do take your advice. I'm not considered the source. And I thought, wow, what a source. Welcome. I'm going to solicit your help and getting this news out there. And Vicki says, I need you to go out of here with conviction, Tamara. You'll need to have conviction. When you talk to people, I want you to say, no, I saw it. There was a paper, no cancer. I mean, there is cancer. Step it. Okay. With conviction, step it. Oh, God, it was so, it was so awkward because Tamara didn't know what to do. She was because she could tell she still didn't believe them. She was like, uh, uh, it's so weird because the preacher kept saying conviction too. Why is everybody talking about convictions? Jesus Christ, get off friends. Ass. Okay. He's fallen on hard times. We're not going to kick him out of his house. No, that's eviction. Oh, with big wireless providers, what you see is never what you get. Somewhere between the store and your first month's bill, the price you thought you were paying magically skyrockets with mint mobile. You'll never have to worry about gotchas ever again. When mint mobile says $15 a month when you purchase a three month plan, they mean it. Oh my goodness. I cannot tell you how many times with other mobile providers, I thought I was going to be paying one thing per month. And then surprise, I'm paying much more. And I just love that mint mobile is straight up. 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And the funny thing is you never even really noticed. So you'll be fine. They act like they care, but I think if you care, yeah, I think they'll be okay. So oh, and then we had before this actually began, we had the little interstitial bit where Brooks was doing his pills. And yet again, coconut music, you know, on blood, sweat, and heels, every time Daisy did a pill, like took a like took one of her like medications. It was like, Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun, or like sad piano music or like all that. No, Brooks, like, Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun. I take my pills. Oh, this one, the spot a man vitamins very important to the process. Oh, no, I can't go a day without my Flintstones. Otherwise I couldn't the entire cancer could come back. You never know Barney Rubble could save my life. No one ever had much confidence in that guy, but I wholeified his convictions. And here we are. So this is inhaled together. If he really does have cancer, we are really, we are awful people. No, because you know what? Look, at the end of the day, the reason no one believes cancer, he has cancer is because he's a full of shit user. So if he was a full of shit user who ended up getting cancer later, it doesn't erase it. He was a full of shit loser before. So it just, you know, now he's sick. Like, you can't just disregard everything because we get cancer. I mean, all of us are going to get it at some point, right? Like, it's not forgiveness. You have to go the Tamara route to get forgiveness. That's right. That's right. So now we're back. We're back from the break. And okay. So now Terry and Heather on the air, everyone's watching home. Megan's like, why is he in scrubs? Like, if he's wearing scrubs, then where's his death a scope? Like, hashtag, hashtag. Hashtag. That was crazy, though, right? What? It's that that she said that so soon after the other. I know. I was like, don't say the S word. Like, we get it. You don't have to wear it just because you're on TV. Like, we get it. You're a doctor, like, whatever. If you're a doctor, where's your little thing that you put on your head? There has reflects light, seriously. Megan in this scene, this is the first time. And the scene cuts back and forth. But in general, this little viewing party thing. First off, they were kind of being bitches. Tamara's evil. She just sits there and makes the seawardiest remarks. Yeah, but they were doing exactly. But they were doing exactly what we would have been doing if we'd been watching. I mean, not you. If you were watching, if you were on TV and I was surrounded by all of our friends, I would not be being mean to you while you're on TV. Oh, yeah. No. Oh, I thought you meant like watching Terry. Yeah, I wouldn't be. Oh, well, yeah. Watching friendly Terry. Yeah. But not my friend. Not someone I'm calling my friend. You'd be your supportive of your friends. And they're like, all cackling. Tamara's the worst. And then Shannon's like, Oh, listen to Tamara. Wow, Tamara's are going there. Whoa. And then she's like falling back. Yeah, I think Shannon was Shannon's crossed the line now. Shannon needs to get she needs to stop going over to the dark side. She's on the dark side. Yeah, she's pretty bad. And she's doing it in the gross way where she's just it's everyone else. But I was standing there. I mean, what? Okay. So I was driving the car, but the suburban hit the pedestrian, not me, with the car. Yeah, she's acting a little she is acting a little innocent. She is falling victim to what happens to them all, which is just, you know, she's not taking accountability. And she's usually really good about taking accountability for her actions. That's one thing that we love about her. And she's really not. She's sort of acting like, Oh, well, why is Vicki mad at me? It's because you should be saying whether you believe it or not, you should just be telling everyone to shut up about everything, you know, and you're not. And you're asking Vicki, even if you think Brooks is a crook, you're like, you're asking Vicki these questions on TV, yada, yada, yada. So Shannon, we love you, but you gotta like, you're too much around Tamara. Well, I love Shannon because she's an erotic mess. I don't love her because she's a perfect person. That's for damn sure. I mean, she's a she's not, you know, she's vindictive. Like, you know, you're always in high school, it seems like no matter how old you get or how much you can complain about your rate. Well, I guess that is high school, but you know, you're always in high school. Yeah, she kind of is. And but she's doing it in the mom way. It's like a mom in high school where she's like, what? What I do? Well, I didn't deal with that Tamara. She's wild. When they were talking about that fake cancer that Vicki's cheater of a criminal husband has with that. I mean, I would never say that. But Tamara said that he doesn't have cancer. And I mean, everyone's calling him a cancer liar. Who am I to say that cancer is not a lie? And it's like, Oh, geez, David, David, David, why haven't you come to homeroom? David, David, that's that constant guilt trip. You know, yeah. So the funniest part about all this is that when Terry was going through the things that are in his, whatever, his skincare, one of the items in it was resveratrol, resveratrol, resveratrol. He so there's resveratrol. And I loved Shannon goes resveratrol. And then they all cackled, which I thought was hilarious because if I were there to, I'd be like, Ah, I mean, we someone put a picture of his veratrol on our Facebook page and made a big point of it. But I love that. I love that. You know, Lizzie was like, Oh, I had no idea that Terry's skincare could cure cancer. Oh, Lizzie, she got her one line in there. It was funny. I liked it. I like Lizzie like she's the first one to arrive at the beginning of this party. I like that Megan had her rental daughter. She's like, I've given up on Haley, but you know, you can rent a daughter and this one loves me. And she needs my advice. And she likes lettuce. Yeah. She's watching on lettuce. I didn't even have to tell her what teriyaki was hashtag hashtag, hashtag rental justice. She has she even has the most basic ambition. Like she showed up. Yeah, she just, she, she appeared. If I had asked her to come to this party, like at 10 o'clock at night, she would have said no, because like hashtag rental justice. She made a plan to go to the supermarket and buy some orange juice. And she actually did it. It was like so impressive. Like I'm so impressed. I gave her a hundred dollars. Yeah. And then the next thing was Lizzie, of course, is the first one to arrive in awkward, non-sleeve things. And I really like Lizzie. She's so nice. And she's so smart. And she's smart. I think she actually is smart, but it's so funny that whenever I just whenever she shows up, she doesn't really add much. Yeah. She's just like, so what's on the menu tonight? Are you doing special drinks? I mean, I smell something cooking. She's like, remember last season when I cut my finger? God, that was a great arc for me. It's crazy. Have you ever seen these Tupperwares that you can throw away after you use them? Oh, they are amazing. I brought some. You know what I do sometimes? Sometimes I press, but I don't seal. Anyway, I had to go back only because I liked it when Lizzie got her wind mind. She is like, it curious cancer. And then she's like, okay, everyone. I packed everything up. Thank God someone still has some plastic bags left over. She's the world's changed, right? Okay, good night. I know. Then she just left. She's like, well, it's seven thirty and Christian's going to sleep soon. So I guess I have to go home. Christian's waiting for these leftovers need to get over there. He loves lettuce wraps. Wow. Okay, ladies. She's like, Rachel, daughter, see her out. Okay. I mean, I think the reason why I liked Lizzie's one line is because at this point, everyone's shading brooks. You know, just no one. Even Lizzie, even Lizzie who's been really sweet this season, I mean, even Hailey would shade her if she had the chance. Although Hailey's not nice. So then Tamara, your cancer is poor. Your cancer probably touched lettuce. Your cancer is working too hard. Okay, embarrassing. So let's say he's cinnamon. Oh, yeah. So they're doing their talk show thing. And then, of course, Terry is when the cameras roll and Heather gives him her actors talk. She's like, listen here, Terry. You know, sometimes you lose and sometimes you win. You know, sometimes you're up and sometimes you're down. Sometimes the wind is blowing one way and then it changes direction. You know what you got to do? You got to just keep going. Go team. Terry is like, okay, Hailey, I think I can do this. And then Tammy Sue calls in and pretends her name is cinnamon. Yeah. So like, hi, my name is cinnamon bat. Also, and Heather's like, ha, ha, ha, ha, that's, yeah, it's you, Tamara, right? Okay. Bye. Yeah, I'm not amused at all. Like, and then Terry gets out there and he's like, hello, let me tell you about a product that will change in love. Like, of course, he's totally late night. What do you call that? Infomercially, like he's perfect at it. Yeah, of course. And Tamara says he has a spray tail on TV. What else happened there? So then base. Okay. So basically, they've been, they did a nice job. Wait, I'm coming back to something you said really quick. Yeah. Heather's face during this when she saw Terry pull up the tap dance. She was not pleased. And her words, he's like, this is what I wanted from Terry. I'm so happy for him. But then they show her face and she literally juts out her chin, you know, just it out dying. She's like, I wonder when they're going to let the guest star from Malibu country say a word. Yeah, just like Reba, a real natural. So anyway, once he's done, then the ladies are all sort of like, let's talk about people now. And Shannon, Shannon starts to cough. She's like, I'm sorry, I'm going to be coughing more because I had dairy. And when I eat, I cough. And then when I have dairy, well, it's just like running IP. While they're about to talk about Brooks's fake diseases. Hey, God. Well, sorry. Oh, I saw it was so sorry. I'm coughing. It's from all the pneumonias. I've got bronchios to taste this permanent lung damage. All those pneumonias I had. I got a scan. I got a, I got a pet smart nebulizer, nebulizer. I'm just, I'm just falling apart. I run IP in my pants. It's like, I got a scan for pneumonia, bronchitis, terminal crotchety crotchety poo. And Halley's like, speaking of terminal crotchety poo no ammonia. What about broken Megan? You met, you met, you met, you said, Halley is like speaking of lettuce. There's so many like white girl names on this show. I know. When they go to the, when they go to the home shopping network, the girl's like, Hi, Heather. I'm Heather. You're a producer. And this is a show called Heather. Okay. When I call Heather, the cameras are going to start Heathering. I want Heather Gray for us for Butte. The second was called Butte or something Butte. I was like, Oh, Gretchen must be so mad. So anyway, so anyway, so that lady pronounced it wrong. She's like, consult beauty. Consult. Yeah, she called it beauty. No, she's a consultant. I think she's a consultant. Oh, she did. Yeah. So, um, so then, yeah, so I don't know how to type an accent. So I thought this about my notes. Why is this all one word? So Megan, so Megan, the one when when Shannon mentioned her chronic coughing issues from Gary. Then that's when that's another fun, you know, my toe. And so, okay, so this is where it went a little kooky for me with Megan, because Megan, Megan at this point is just a little kid who has to be right. So no matter what the it's like an internet comment war, when you realize, Oh, my facts are wrong. But you're like, I'm going to keep fighting because I've already called this person a fuck face. Yeah, she does it. She's she's not no one to fold them. And so basically, it comes out that Tamara saw met with Brooks and Vicki and that that Brooks has a mass. And Megan's like, Vicki never mentioned a mass. That's a big deal on the cancer world. Who gets a mass and doesn't post about it? That's like getting a boyfriend and not posting your relationships status on Facebook. Like, how are people supposed to know? Like, who does that? Who doesn't mention a mass? She's like, I bought tickets for all of us to see black masks. It's so important in the cancer world. Tamara is like, there's a mass inside Brooks. I have to worship back because I'm Christian. She's like, I hope you come to my baptism. There's gonna be a mass. Well, that's a big the only cancer world. So of course, I'll be there. I'm gonna be cleansing myself of all my batchiness with Brooks's mass. Every year, I go to Boston because it's important for me to go to mass. I choose it's every time I go to mass, I'm like sitting there and I'm like, I don't even know if I believe you mass. You're just trying to get part of biggest insurance money, mass. Like, the most important taco place is pokito mass. It's really important the cancer world. I think we should all go there right now. Who doesn't talk about their lunch from pokito mass? Alfredo is always offering me mass when I go to the restaurant. I'm like, no, Alfredo, I don't want mass. So let me say here. So she's like, he never mentioned Vicki never mentioned mass. Who does that? So then very Vicki had texted some of the women. It was like, Oh, it's all we just got back from Newport, imaging. And you know, they say his cancer is getting worse. So broken up music. Yeah, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. It's heading back Brooks. Yeah, it's cutting back between Tamara reading it and Shannon reading it, which is so good. They're both reading off their phones and it's like, I was rather upset with a lot of the dead batch. Like, I just want you to know that I am not I'm not thinking of that batch going between those two voices was killing me and they were acting like it was this horrible text. And Vicki was like, you hurt my feelings. Yeah, goodbye. I'm in the wall. Up against the wall with a glass to my ear. Hope you're happy. Love, Vicks. Love Vicks went to Newport, imaging. They say the cancer is getting worse. He got a scan. But to be fair, it's also a copy shop and he was on a scanner. So, you know, who knows finally set up the phone number. Kyle Brooks to ask him about his cancer. So feel free to call 1-800-COLL-BRIX and ask him about his cancer and leave a voicemail. I'm done. Love Vicks, be nicer to me next season. You know, if you go, uh, take, uh, take a bunch of papers, Newport imaging, they can collate the copies. It's great. They're a really wonderful place. They can do them in color too. So, you know, you know, when we put Brooks on that scanner on the, on the Xerox scanner, they didn't see any cancer. So, you know, we're hoping for the best now. Oh, thankfully, you know, cancer doesn't like Xeroxys. So then Megan, of course, is like, well, I called Newport imaging, which is crazy, but awesome. And she called and, uh, basically there was, there's, she said that they don't do pet scans or CG scans. And she didn't say that. Actually, this is where everything gets fishy. Yeah. She, first of all, looks terrified. She's swallowing really hard and she's, uh, her eyes are sipping back and forth. She did just have her own cashew. She looks like a skims about to find like crumbs on the counter. Yeah. She's like, uh, oh, um, she actually looks scared. She does do a couple of hard swallows. And she's like, well, I called this imaging please. And I was like, hi, my name is Cecily. I have lymphomic, uh, cancer, uh, and they were like, thank you for telling us because like, that's what you do when you have masses. You'd like, call people and you tell them. And then I was like, do you take pet smarts? And they were like, no, we don't take, we haven't done pet scans for lymphotic. Wait, what is it? A carcinogenic Johnson and Johnson lymphoma anymore. We haven't done that since 2008, but she was very, she was, she very carefully specified every time she said it, that they don't do the scan for that particular cancer. So maybe it sounded to me like lawyer talk because she kept repeating that detail over and over. So obviously she was trying to get that in there. So do they do regular scams? And she's just like twisting? Well, it's Pharisees. Here's where it's a little fishier. I, of course, then googled Newport imaging. And they're like, they're like Google in your heart. I got the Google. They're like four of them. And they were like, they all have like different cadences of names. It's like one's like Newport imaging center. One is called like Newport, like imaging of Newport, one's Newport and imaging and radiology. Like there's like imaging gay. Yeah. Newport imaging boner, Newport imaging, big black cock. So no, but they, so I do think it's feasible that Brooks and Vicki went to some place called like Newport imaging and radiology. And then she said went to Newport imaging, everything's fine. And Megan called a totally different Newport imaging. I think it's possible. Yeah, it was actually, it was actually the photo development center inside the Walgreens. Instead of the liar, take him down. Yeah. They put a frame around the pet scan. It's really weird. So yeah, as much as I hate to stand up for Brooks, in this case, I get the feeling let. It's possible that there was, you know, that Vicki may have reported the wrong place back. It's a bit much at this point. I mean, it's one thing saying your cancer sounds fishy, but making that your entire life, I mean, at this point, it's crazy, but that's also why it's amazing. And so Heather and, I mean, not Heather Shannon and Tamara are like, really? Like they've never heard it. And then Megan's like, yeah, I remember when I called you and I told you, like cold, they're acting like they've never heard it. And Shannon, especially, oh, what? Yeah. Shannon's the picture now. Yeah. Oh, and Tamara, she called Tamara. She showed you. Well, why didn't she ask me? Why? I've been, I've seen about an advocate for her. I've done nothing for her, but help. And you know, now I'm nasty and hit work. Now I'm, now it's, I'm offering a steam shower for Jewish people. So there it is. I'm a terrible person. She's like, well, I, she's like, I've been nothing but supportive for Vicki. And, you know, give credence to all her doubters, you know, but I've been nothing but supportive. Nothing but supportive. Well, I'm saying fake cancer isn't being supportive from 20 times in episode them. Huh, what, what? David, David, David, did Vicki give Brooks's medical records to your mistress? David, please tell me. I didn't understand and acting so surprised. Oh, Megan, Megan King Edmonds. Wow. She sure doing your research. Miss 30 year old do do do do do do do do do. Well, obviously they didn't choose Shannon because Shannon's the smartest one. They should have her riding on a bike like the beginning of murder. She wrote. Yeah. Cancer. She wrote all in one word. Yeah. And then meanwhile, Megan Megan then was getting was furious. She's like, real people are doing with real fucking pain. And you know, I get that too. Like I get she's dealing with Leanne. I mean, it's very real. And, and you know, you mentioned it a few weeks ago that it's frustrating that if Brooks is, is lying about this and he's putting this out on national TV that this is a correct form of treatment, then that is bullshit. So I understand that, but she also should know like she should just shut up and let Brooks's stupidity speak for itself because she's losing. She's making herself look worse the more she goes after it. Yeah. Agreed. Especially when she says, especially when she sits back on her couch says, I just want truth. And I just want justice. And let us call it chicken. You know, all we're saying about her going too hard, that said, of course, I don't believe this either. None of it looks real. It all looks totally phony that they went to this doctor who's just reading this medical report, which one minute is like, looks like a big thick folder. And the next minute is two Xerox pages off a thing with all the words running together. What the hell and Brooks's story keeps changing and I think that it's it's so mangled. It looks like Vicki wrote it on that giant screen thing that she's trying to use in her office. She's like, I was trying to write one million cancers. And it just wrote Jubbity, job job, did it. You know, thinking dong, dong, cancer cancer. No, I don't know what the heck. Now here's my thing. I don't think that Vicki is in on this. I think that or or consciously in on it. I think that Brooks is pulling a fast one. And maybe Vicki has her suspicions. But at this point, she's turning a blind eye. That's what I think she knows. And the reason I think she knows is because her change from one week to the next, where one week she's screaming. No one will mess with Brooks to the next just being like, you know, Brooks, like she got so tired and I get that it's exhaustion because it's never it's brought up every second of the day. So I get the exhaustion, but also Vicki doesn't get exhausted with fights. She gets louder and louder and screams more and more and more. And it's not like her to just be like, I give up. I'm not talking about it. It's to me. Also, it brings us to our second piece of gossip, which of course, I don't have pulled up. But it's a tweet, another website, which is making news of a tweet, which I love. Is is it all a lot? Did Vicki just admit on Twitter that it's all been a lie the entire time? So I clicked it and watched the, you know, ad for the Toyota Muskemoo or whatever it is. And it's a tweet where she's saying, I just believed the person I loved at the time or like, I was just listening to the person I love or something like, Oh, wait, here it is tweets. Sticks your guns, Vicki. Your fans are by the way, her name is Callie, but her Twitter name is Wendy Mouse six, which is weird. A lot of names. Callie. Anyway, stick to your guns, Vicki, your fans are behind you 100%. If you know the truth, don't let miniscule people test you. You are way better. Heart with stars on it, peace sign. And then Vicki says, Thank you. I only know what was told to me and stood behind the person I love during this time we were together. Yeah. So fishy fishy fishy Vicki. But you know what's not fishy? A good magazine. Hmm. Don't you agree? Being I sure would. I'm always reading about the celebrity fish on my next issue over on my iPad. That's right. And and you know what, Ronnie, your time is precious. And you want to feed your mind with the best of what's out there, including celebrity fish stories. But who has the time to sift through all the nonsense on the internet? We get more and more into our interest by seeking out authorities on them. You can find Esquire Vogue Sports Illustrated or wired. There are so many we've all come to trust. That's true. And and one thing though that you have that you should know is that you're on the wrong ad copy. I am. You are. You are. They changed it. I mean, no, you're on the amazing app or you can get all of the top magazines. You're on the wrong lap with your interactive content where people can see moving pictures like in Harry Potter, darling. That's the wrong copy. They're not paying us to read that bullshit. They're paying us to say, For those of us who want premium content and don't have time to waste finding it, there's next issue. Next issue is the mobile app that lets you tap to just said discreetly. Yeah, it could be discreetly, but directly into the world's most popular magazines anytime, anywhere using your phone or tablet. Iconic magazines like People, Vogue, Esquire Time and more. And next issue lets you dive deeper into the story with interactive content for a richer reading experience. Sign up for next issue right now. You'll get immediate access to all the top magazines, including back issues and exclusive videos and photos. So, for instance, I am my little phone right here. I have pulled up GQ, which has hoty Michael B. Jordan on the cover, looking very cute. And look, there's a style information here. For instance, Ronnie, man, I could use some style information. I just, I'm wearing $4 cut offs from old Navy. Well, someone asked this, what's the rule on leaving chest buttons undone on a dress shirt? One, two, or three? So this is what GQ says. There are no hard rules in style, except one. Deep V neck tees are the worst possible thing you can possibly wear. And by the way, side note, I accidentally have two of them. I thought they weren't going to be so deep. Anyway. Oh, yeah, they're deep. They go down to you belly button. I wasn't intending that, but it's okay. I'll wear them out to a gay clubs. It all comes down to what you're trying to get across. Buttoning your shirt all the way, aka the air tie, is contemporary. Gosling would approve. One open button is conservative. The difference between two open buttons and three is simple. How suave are you feeling? The safe, the safe play is two, but Tom Ford would go three. Are you one of Ronnie's Lebanese uncle cousins? Then please button your shirt down to your belly button and get Cheeto dust stuck in there. I usually do two, the very top one, like the neck one, the one all the way the top air time when I open that one up and the next one after that I open up. But I think it also depends. I think what they didn't say is it depends on the shirt because not all shirts have the same spacing. Anyway, these are the sort of things you could learn on next issue. So the best part next issue is offering a free trial right now. And you go to next issue.com forward slash crap ins. Again, you can try next issue for free right now when you go to next issue.com crap ins. It's actually. Yeah, thank you everybody. Go there, read up on it. Don't walk around with all your buttons undone. Or you know, look, the Orange County answer is you don't wear buttons at all. You wear a cutout in the front. And so you're fixed it's hanging out of it. Everybody in that opening is wearing a cut front, I think. Heather Megan, who else? Listen, if you're in Orange County, you don't deal with buttons. You have a defleper t-shirt on, okay? Yeah. Yeah, something that's made out of what's that stuff that's like not nylon, but not cotton, but not polyester. Like rayon rayon rayon rayon with a zipper cutout in the front that makes no sense. And you also name your daughter rayon to rayon rayon. And then she ends up sucking dick on the internet. After you've been evicted from your third house in the beach. She's like, thank God, I have this next issue. It even works in my car. So, you know, it's funny, because Orange County was all done medical issues, speed of next. And let's move on to our next issue, which are the medical issues. Like there are. To me, it's married to medicine. Reunion part one. Oh man, it opened up with Andy, like going to the dressing rooms with that backstage thing he's doing. Yeah. Hi, what are you doing? And Simone says now, Andy, she gets really like prayer on him. She's like, Andy, we are not, we are not going to bring you boring today, Andy. And he's like, well, you don't want to bring me messy either. And she's like, Oh yeah, we'll bring some mess. I love this show. You realize the show is basically called married to messy, not married to medicine, married to medicine. We will not bring you messy, but what we will bring you are pimples. Married to Barney, Rubble's Flintstones that Vicky will show because she tries to swallow. All right, I need to get over real housewives of Orange County. Clear the notes. Oh, we didn't even talk about how everybody's telling Tamara because she's the dumb one. And everybody's like, Hey, everyone's just the only reason Vicky calls you to give you these results is because you're too stupid to read them. She's like, I feel so used because they know I can't read these. Or any results or any words except the word of the Lord. Batch. They gave me a dry cleaning receipt. That is not cool. I'm going to put these medical records on the shelves that cut fitness. At least something's going to be on there. And it's going to be past. I just saw that on my own. The ending of my note. So I had to bring it up. I just give it past. Oh, married to medicine. We don't want to bring you boring. Don't give me mass coming up. Okay, this show is so cheap that they just take little sound effects from every other show on Bravo. They don't even bother making anything for this show. They're using the top chef elimination. We're getting eliminated. They're like tonight on Mary to mess this in. She has like. Breaking on their soul. Hands down utensils up. What are you doing on here? Oh, I'm sorry. This was top chef. Today, we have food and wine magazines. Taper of contents. No one will come on this. We have to judge the women of marriage medicine. We have three interns from food and wine. And me. A prerecorded tape from 2000. Their names are Heather, Heather and Heather. She'll be coming back soon. I can't wait for top chef to come back. I know we certainly have a lot. I know that, you know, I was looking for dates for the trash talk schedule or whatever. So I had to look up all these stupid dates. Top Chef hasn't even announced. Opera Ski November 2nd. What? Or Opera Ski? How do you say it? Opera Ski? Opera Ski. Well, it's weird because normally top chef premieres in the fall because then they always have these episodes. These like Thanksgiving and Christmas episodes. So it's weird. But I'm sure an announcement will come soon because they just announced Real House of Atlanta is coming back early November, as usual. And we just saw a trailer for that, which we can also talk about that trailer. Did you see the trailer? Oh, let's save it for next time because this will be a 20 hour podcast. Anyway, we'll do it Thursday. Let's focus on our medical ladies. Messissian. Focus on Messissian. Messissian. Messissian. Messissian. So go on, Ronnie. Go on. I forgot what I was saying. Anyway, that's not coming back for a long time, but probably because they have like 70 contestants this year. We were at the first time. Allegedly. Yeah, we were at the first one. They were like 90 people. Were we? I don't think we were. We were. We were not part of anything. Someone who looks like me with a scowl about everything was there and who hates the sun. And it smelled like Bob. Never mind. I can't say. Okay. So I don't know what you're talking about. Anyway, this one starts married to medicine begins and it was killing me because it's like coming up on the married to medicine or well, it's Andy. So it's like coming up on the married and medicine room. He's all tired. Toya is a lesbian. It's like, don't, don't, don't, don't. No. Are you a lesbian? She's like, I should have did for Eugene and Eugene, like knots. And then suddenly it's like, it's like violins and Jackie's crying. She's like, my dad's dead or something. And it's like, don't, don't, don't, don't. Aidan's bad rug, which is getting worse and worse. Yeah, for a hair plug, they look awfully thin from from fake lesbianism, open marriages to dead dads and bad rugs. It was like in two seconds. Bring it on married and medicine. So by the way, the big headline here is that Toya was the voice of reason during this entire episode as she has sort of been for some of the season. And I don't know, I'm really loving Toya these days. She's cracking me up. Everybody's loving Toya. Even all the ladies, they're like, Toya's an idiot, but you know, at least she's an honest idiot. Yeah, at least you know what you're getting. Yeah, you get in that number ones, Eugene in it. I felt like I did have a voice. I was like, that's one thing you've got. Yeah, you've got plenty of voice. Yeah. And so Andy opens it with I said, did I say I didn't have a voice? I meant to say I didn't have a swimming pool. That's what I meant. I bet to say I would really like to have a bar, the middle of my swimming pool, Eugene. I want both a bar you can drink from. And I just want a bar because I like that. I like bars. I like to put them up on things. Yeah, but I don't like being cold. Because when you cold, you go bar. I hate crowbars because I don't like crows, but I like bars. So it's a little bit, I'm all conflicted about crowbars. I like lambs because they say bar. You know, I love I love that someone goes babab, actually, I'm always like, baba, baba, baba, baba, actually, I'll see you later, but actually, no, that's quads version of by police that quads says everything that's like 10 years old, urban dictionary. She's like, bye, Felicia. Hello, quad. And she's like, hello, messy boots. Like everything. She's like, you better step off. She sounds like Heather, but not like the white mom version. Yeah, because, you know, Heather, she's a big old drag queen. That's good. But regards, regards, comma, Felicia. That makes me laugh every time. So Andy starts it open. We're busting down the emergency room doors. Hi, Jackie. Is fit the new it. Hi, Simone. Hi, quad. Hi, messy boots. Step off. Hi, heavenly. And Jill from like Minnesota. It's like, I can hear somebody trying to communicate. That's all my kids. Oh, that was mean. I can center the source. I have an app. Blink, blink. Uh, I have an app. I have an app. Blink, blink. Every time you swipe right, it's like, blink, blink. Uh, what's the tea, honey? Oh, yeah, quads thing was, what's the tea, honey? The tea is going to be hot today, Andy. Tea. We bought some water and we put some bags in it. We're going to make some tea and add some coffee cream to it. Cause we're crazy. Andy. Oh, you better not invite Mr. Coffee to this reunion. Cause it's all tea. I hope you don't spill that tea because you're going to have some messy coffee tea boots, Andy. You know what they say about hot tea when you spill, the cameras don't come around. I'm trying. Quad keeps changing her voice because sometimes she's like, I'm misquired, honey. And then sometimes she's like, very professional. She's like, well, what has transpired. Well, what has transpired is that there was a teapot that was made and was left on the stove for a certain amount of time that is indeterminate. But for, uh, we know that the temperature therefore has risen to a certain level where it is in fact piping hot and will transpire on your mouth. I know that the coffee is ready because the teapot is whistling and it sounds like, least in the cold, Andy. The teapot is whistling, which means the roller park is open for business. If you know what I'm saying, like a whistle in the rain. Um, it's like snap, snap, crackle, and pop. Those raspberries are all in that tea. If you know what I'm saying, nope, don't know what you're saying at all. Snap, crackle in tea with Landy. And he's like, great, great, great. And the, I think, uh, last week on one of these reunions or whatever said that he's done like 8,000 for union hours or something. And, uh, God bless him. He has the most positive attitude, but he, in this one, he's not even pretending his, his mouth is like half open half the time. Yeah. He's like, hi, we're busting down the emergency room. Hi, Jackie. Uh, so we asked quite about her wigs and, uh, he's like, who's your share thing? And it's, uh, Naomi, but he says share. And then so she keeps doing the share thing for the rest of the time. And I don't even know if she knows that she's doing it, but she does the share drag queen year foot thing all the time. I love it. She's like, do you believe in life after love? I believe in life after tuna tartar. I believe in love after life. When else you're going to find love after death? When you die, Andy, the tea's ready. Andy, get your coffee cream up. Uh, so they start with a segment about Heavenly's snork. Yeah, which was funny, which was very, very funny, but then everybody hates Heavenly because they've seen the show now. And she's even worse. She's even worse than she is in person. She is so, so mean. And no one is amused by this. Yeah. She's like, oh, it's all fun. And if you don't like it, then I won't play with you. Yeah. But the problem is, is that you're not playing with people. You're talking behind their bags. If you were doing it to their face, they could respond. But well, I imagine it's funny, because some of them, sometimes her snark, I assumed was like inside joke, winking at like Simone, for instance, like, I feel like she has like a, like a little, like a, like a funny rivalry with Simone, where they just trash each other behind each other's backs. But it's like a joke. It's like they're roasting each other, but not in each other's presence. But maybe I read that wrong. I think it is with, I think it is with people like Simone, but Dr. Jackie, and no, Dr. Jackie's not going to take too kindly when you're like, why the hell would you be able to have a diet? You know, you're an old lady and you have a shitty body, basically. And Jackie's like, okay, well, thank you, blink, slow, slow, angry, disappointed, but still going to stay calm, blink. Yeah, exactly. Sorry, I was sipping my coffee, National Coffee Day. Can you tell can you tell hashtag hashtag I did what did she say? I'm finally doing I did it. I did it. I did it. What was Tamara saying when she was saying about religion coming out of the closet? I hit it and I hit it and I hit it and I love Jesus. I hit it and I hit it and I hit that batch. All right, so let's skip through. We don't have to go through every moment. Do we have this? No, no. By with Lisa Nicole, her boobs were huge popping out. Yes, and she was wearing her own dress. Yeah, wow. We and by the way, we have to talk about quads dress. She had zippers in every strange place. It was not her finest moment for someone. In other words, like a moment when Lisa Nicole said, yes, this is my own creation, Andy, because you must be a walking billboard when you're a real designer. And then it cussed a quad frowning and she's like, what are you talking about? That's why I'm wearing 18 dog kinsons. Yeah, dresses in together with a safety bid. This is this ain't Pops and Paris is the reunion. Pops and Paris is stupid. So yeah, that dress. Anyway, so Heavenly's trying to stand up for herself kind of and make it all like, Oh, I was just kidding. It was just all in fun. And everybody's giving her dirty look. And then they what was Troya? What went up? Something about being envious. Oh, no, they said, well, are you envious of Jackie? And she's like, I don't want to be some old stick. And I can't do my hide today. I had me cigarettes. She's like, I'm a little jealous. Because even though she got the body of a little boy, they should never lose their cool. I respect that. I do daddy. Everyone's fake manners and this was awesome. She's like, well, I don't, I'm not jealous of her being an old nasty crotchety bitch. But you know, she is a doctor. So good for her gay women. Yeah. And then Jackie just nodded. And she's like, I appreciate that. I don't feel like a boy when I take off my clothes. But you know, Oh, she she complimented. I know I'm stuttering. I'm so sorry. I'm trying to read my notes. But Jackie's answer is so funny because Heavenly just tried to give her a compliment, even though it was really hard for her. And she said, Well, I'm just happy that when I take off my clothes, I don't look like a busted cannabis kits. Yes, that's right. Oh, yeah, I can wait to keep your composure. Yeah. And what an amazing description, by the way. Yeah, it's true. It's true. Busted can of biscuits. So it's like that. That's like all pissed. Like, Oh, wow, you're doing great at taking the joke, heavenly. Yeah, she's like, yeah. Well, basically, heavenly, you do kind of look like something that exploded on the back of woman's head and she called the police because she thought she'd been shot. Yes. Yes. And thank you for complimenting my maturity. Yeah. And then Andy kept on heavenly, I guess, just to get it out of the way, because honestly, she was the funniest thing in the season. So he said, now, heavenly, someone on, you know, Barbara from Billingsley, cat food, New York, asked if you are being a good example to Elora with this kind of behavior, and it's like, yes, Elora can be whatever she wants to be, Andy, she made look, she made my dress out of pantyhose Velcro and a shoestring and some chewed up Pringles and she's going to be fine. She made a fastener out of lint. Also biscuit mix. So Simone was like, I would rather hang out with Elora because she really knows how to shit talk when I'm at it, Toya. It's like these people. What the hell? So party, party, Toya fight, that's over now. So who cares? And then Dr. Jackie enters and she's like, well, I think the problem with toy and Simone is that they both had difficult childhoods. And so they're taking their anger out on their parents at each other. And sometimes you're mad at your father, but you're yelling at Toya. And Toya is like, I agree. My mom was strong willed and I didn't have a voice. But now I sit on top of a van and I go, well, Jean. A lot of people come out and are like, Oh, there's time for injections. Well, Jean, uh, my mom, like, I'll be like, her mom, like, what's for dinner? And she'd be like, Shut up, Toya. And I'm like, I ain't Simone now. My mother did was been like, I love you, Simone. I hate my mom, but I can't all confused because Eugene was like eating so much food by the nanny cam. I had the apology for you, but Eugene ate it. I saw it on the camera. I had came here with the full apology, but yeah, well, Jean is like a goat. He just eats it all. Big old mountain goat, big fat mountain goat. I love him. I love that old Jean. Oh God. So they start talking about sad things. God, my face is dirty. I just swiped it with a paper towel and it's like got dirt all over it. That's classy. So anyway, they take another call and someone and he's like, uh, Doreen from Doritos, Wisconsinville. Simone, you know, by the way, when you make up, when you make up the city names, you don't have to make up the state names. There's no such places, Wisconsinville. Doritos, Wisconsinville. Just Doritos, Wisconsin. Um, anyway, they asked Simone, well, hey, Simone, if you can forgive, if you can save lives, why can't you forgive your alcoholic father? It's like, what the hell kind of question? I know. I know. Jesus. And she starts to cry understandably. And she's like, I guess I will have to be there for him. Like, there's no other choice. But yeah, what does one thing have to do with another? Like you can straighten a bone. Now, why can't you just be nice to the addict who's wrecked your family? He's like, Oh, yeah, it's totally the same thing, Andy. And then they all start crying. And heavenly is like, uh, no, wait, who said it? Simone. Someone said, tomorrow isn't promised to any of us. Oh, yeah. I think, yeah. And even if tomorrow does promise things, it could probably lie. And then you're going to have to forgive tomorrow. Because that's what you do. Sometimes tomorrow goes to the strip club. And that's not cool. But you know what? Sometimes that's what tomorrow has to do. I will never go back. Tomorrow has frozen sushi breath. And you say, you went to the strip club and it says no. So you just pretend it smells like Captain Crunchy instead. Sometimes tomorrow wears mom jeans and that's okay. Which was by the way, that was Lisa Nicole's way. I felt like it was like a barber quad because didn't quad respond by saying like, well, yes, you know, tomorrow is not promised to us. But sometimes we need time to get to tomorrow or something like that. I don't know. Everything Lisa says is a barb, but she says it in that really nice little girl voice. So it's supposed to not be a barb, but we know what you're doing. Well, tomorrow, you know, tomorrow sometimes needs water in his face or we'll never shut up. And then he's stuck in an apple piece and you'll never be able to get your awesome Boston because the way there's your faith to come outside. Hmm, tomorrow is a hood rat. Let's just be honest. I hope it's not promised to us because I don't want that hood rat tomorrow. Tomorrow will steal the change right out of your purse. I like that you added that contemplative moment at the end because Lisa does that. She's always acting like she's really thinking and trying to find the nicest way to save. But it's always awful. But then she got fired up because I think the next segment was Andy talking about the big fight between Lisa and squad, right? That is the ultimate betrayal honey. I like when he said so heavenly, did you get mad because Lisa Nicole was like, well, the reason I did it is because I was considering you. Yeah, the background tech. I was considering going into business with you because remember, we were going to go to New York and look at clothes together and clothes are my business. So we were in business together. And also the reunion was coming up and I wanted some dirt to throw out. So also business. And she admitted it, which is the first time that she actually said I did this so I could get shit for the reunion. And Andy said, did you do it for everyone? She's like, no, it's too expensive. But I did do one for heavenly and toya. And heavenly's like, well, Google's free. Well, like, what are you going to get? We're going to get mad people for using Google. I don't care if she can do it. Go ahead. Toya's like, I don't know. I spend money to a background check. I mean, look behind me. There's some curtains that the background. I checked it. Boji to the background. I write checks. Lisa Nicole's like, well, Toya said she wanted to rent big business. So I thought, Oh, better do a background check. There's so much fashion there. Um, so I'm proud of you. Your friends know who cares who cares who cares. Something before death. Oh, yeah. Heavenly tries to start some weird kind of fight because they're saying tomorrow isn't promised to any of us. And then heavenly says, yes, and I'm not trying to start drama with you. But what if you didn't say something and then they die? And then Jackie's like, well, I've never had unfinished business. I don't even understand what all that was about. I guess the dad was heavenly trying to fight with her about her dead dad. Uh, I don't know. No, no, no, I don't think I actually don't think she was trying to certify. I think she was actually saying she was trying to give advice and been like, I'm not, I'm not trying to fight with you. I'm telling you, like you should not wait. I think it was, I don't know, because everything they said, it seemed like it was going to be a big fight. But then they'd be like, but I love you dearly, and I hug you with my heart. And they're like, thank you. So weird. It's like, you just called each other a lying, you know, lesbian serial killer who like rips butterflies or something. Oh, but I'm sorry. Oh, it's okay. I accept. Yeah, whatever. Well, no, that was a big contention because Lisa Nicole was like, Quat, I had no idea that the background check would be so hurtful. And I sincerely, I generally apologize for the harm it did to you. And then Andy's like, well, Quat, will you accept that? Quat's like, well, you see, here's the thing with doggy biscuits is that they crumble in many different ways. And sometimes the sun shines. And sometimes there's a train coming through. And when that comes through, you got to get the peanut butter out of the fridge. Like so do you accept it? Well, I mean, Andy, let me put it to you this way. Do you put sunglasses on when you go underwater? Well, no, but exactly. I'm like a, I, she spoke and my palm felt a fist tapping on it letters. And I've read the letters and I'm contemplating the Morse code, Andy. He's like, so is that a yes? She's like, well, when you put your head to the ground and you listen for an earthquake, sometimes you hear majesty. And sometimes you hear the wind blow, dear. Moving on, then. And then they're, and then they're really talking about the story. It's like, that ain't forgive this. She's like, she's like, quad, just say, I'm sorry. Sluous little injection, glad. So, um, I'm going to refuse to sorry, do you quad? But quad is so shady because in the, in her process of semi apologizing, she managed to mention Darren's fake mistress, like three times by name. Oh, no, that was a little girl, wasn't it? They were talking about the ill, they were talking about the illegitimate child child. Okay, there were so many weird things in this one little segment. First of all, they showed the fight again. So they, here we are outside Applebee's. Yeah. And they show the fighting. So Lisa throws the water or whatever. So she throws up quads losing it. Quad is comes up to her face. Like, yes, like she's going to attack her. Lisa doesn't push her hard. She just like moves her away, pushes her way. Yeah. Right. Then quad picks up a glass, which I didn't notice last time. Quad is holding the glass and about to swing it at Lisa. And that's why Lisa picks up the glass again. It's like throws the glass at her. So that whole thing was crazy. And quad, you, you came at her first, you went after her physically first. And also this is supposed to be a glass to throw the actual glass at her first. And quad also picked the fight because they were supposed to be putting everything behind themselves. And instead, quad comes up with this background port and starts putting everything out there. And Lisa did have a point, which is that like, yes, I ran a background check on you. And if I had realized it would hurt you so much, I wouldn't have done it. But you, you did, you did a background check on, on my husband and, and, and you came up with all these lies and you put it out there and you said that there was like, what quad did was much more harmful. Because we still don't really even, I don't even remember what Lisa found in her background port. I don't think they'd even came out. But quad fully put it out there and then continue to put it out there in the reunion. And that's why everyone was saying to quad, like, quad, you're putting shit out there, stop it. And she's like, well, you know, sometimes you got to put a tiara on a palm tree. And Lisa Nicole's going Ape's it. She's like, and then you made up a rumor about a, a parenting child, an illegitimate child or something. And quad's like, what I say, I mean, if you have an illegitimate child, all you should have said was we have an illegitimate child and it wouldn't have been a fight. Yeah, that's bullshit. And then she's like, I'm sorry, I brought up the illegitimate child named, you know, Heather. I'm sorry that I brought up Heather Almay at 55 55 Sycamore Boulevard, zip code 900 Wisconsin. It's Doritos, Doritos, Wisconsin. I'm sorry that I've given out the map. I'm sorry that I dropped a pin on Heather's home, the illegitimate child. I'm sorry that I inaccurately said that your gay husband had a baby, but I'm sure I meant no harm to your closeted gay husband, who may have AIDS. Terrible. And then not quad. Lisa Nicole is like, well, that was hurtful. You went after my family. And then quad's like, well, yeah, but you called me a lesbian. And I have a family too. And I'm just sitting there thinking that her poor dogs are sitting there in two twos. Like, oh my god, mom's a dyke. Our life is ruined. Those dogs are like, no, Lisa got bad information. She's just a gay man. She's not a lesbian. Her dream is to be a lesbian. How dare you? Yeah, so that was all kind of ridiculous. And of course, they're all in the wrong. Yeah. But also wonderful and crazy. But they reached an uneasy piece. Before an easy piece, but there's another uneasy reach here. And this is during the fight scene. Lisa Nicole, okay, quad goes after Lisa Nicole, and she grabs the middle of her eyebrows. So like the top of her nose, she's like pinched the top of her eyebrows. What is that? I've never seen that. I thought it was a poke. I thought she put her originally thought that she poked her in the head, but she didn't. She like gave her like a pinch. But between the eyebrows, what the fuck? I saw a lus. We really need to pay more attention to this. Yeah, I'm, you know, I'm concerned we're not detail oriented enough. Mariah was backstage, by the way, this whole time being intercut, watching in a chair surrounded by like, you know, five old queens, like all the old queens from the comeback, you know, Lisa Nicole, like old Queen who follows Lisa. Lisa could draw around. It's like five of him like, Oh, you're hilarious, honey. And all she's doing is saying things like, they should have fixed the moans edges, that ain't right. And they're like, Oh, Mariah. Oh, girl, you are so funny. And eight and sitting there looking like he's watching the most stressful football game ever. Like he's biting his lower lip and concentrating really hard. And he's calling everyone fake. And meanwhile, he's wearing like a raw stress for less $20 rug on his head. Is Mariah allowed to make commentary about people's edges when her husband has that here situation? I'm just your husband looks like any racer, like a chalkboard eraser turned upside down, like that shit isn't even approaching real hair, you two both you get called the hell away both of you. So, so then we learned about what Jill has been up to, which is so sad. That was sad. That's a really fucked up situation. It's like really fucked up. I actually hope Jill's okay. It sounds like she's more to that story. It sounds like she was either on something or she's, I mean, that I mean, that marriage is fucked if she was if she was seeing someone else. But that's a bad situation for Jill. So, I feel bad for her. Yes. So, Toya told the story. So, we talked about this before because it was exactly what was in the blogs and stuff, which is he saw her phone go off and it was a text or something from somebody that she was having an affair with supposedly. And he confronted her and said if she's having an affair, he's taking the kids. And then she started freaking out. And then it turned into a physical altercation. He called the police. She got taken to jail. She was in jail for three days and didn't see the kids for 30 days. And now she has no money and it was broken living with her parents. Yeah, that's very sad. And her kids are gone. And I know, I know it's like crying, crying for the like the victim here is she's not the victim, but it still is a sad situation. Well, yes, she is. Well, she's the one who is she's a victim. They I mean, it's a sad situation. But I mean, if she were cheating and she did these things, then that's that's no good. But it's still sad all around. It's sad for those kids. Yeah, it's sad because even if she's just a victim of craziness, you know, that's, you know, I don't know, I just feel bad. Even heavenly. It doesn't seem like a bad person. Yeah, even heavenly felt bad. Well, of course, she does it in traditional reality show way where she's like, I feel for Lisa, her husband's a prick. I told you, you know, like, heavenly is, of course, using it to bolster her own stupid fight and toy even had to be like, well, what you showed today wouldn't talk about your own fight because you call her a stupid bitch. Like she's starting to like, and then she's reaching out. Yeah, there's a toy who said like, I think that like Jill was reaching out because she said that she was saying she thinks that Joe was just lashing out because of, you know, being disrespected by her horrible man at home. And when a woman has a fairness, it's not like when a man does it because men do it for sex and women do it for because they're not getting something at home emotionally. And then she's like, wait a second now. She wasn't lashing out at you. She was fighting with you because you were being ignorant. And she's like, well, didn't you hear all those racial slurs like when she offered me fried chicken that was on the menu as fried chicken? And she's like, does someone offering you watermelon doesn't make you black? I mean, come on now, you can't sue somebody for being a ding-a-ling. Yeah. Exactly. Judge Toya. Yeah. Toya was bringing a lot of reason. It's very sad when Toya is schooling you on everything. I know. Good for you, Toya, Bush Harris. And thank you for favoriteing our tweet yesterday. She did? Well, I sent her the vine of the marriage medicine. Well, I had the divine of Lisa Nicole and Quad. And I thought that Toya would like it. And I was hoping that she would retweet it to her legions of fans. She doesn't. But you know what, I appreciate the favorite. Anyway, well, sometimes that's okay because on Twitter, they take it way more seriously than we do. Oh, my God. Yeah. They're like, how could you ruin a child's life? Yeah. Makeup artists who appeared on camera and weird pants. It's like, whoa, we were overreacting a little bit there, Twitter. So then the episode pretty much ended with Mariah coming out and Andy be like, so was it feel like to be on this on the couches? It's like, oh, I don't. Does anyone The real show's about to stop Andy. I was like, I have things to say. She's ridiculous. Yeah. If she just sat there, they showed her the whole time making like these witty, hilarious, like terrible, stupid comments about things she wasn't even involved in the whole season. And while her husband got way too involved and sat there in a bad rug. And now she's coming out. And it takes two of those Lisa Cudro queens behind her to carry her fucking dress from Chico, or not Chico's. What's the place with the like, it's not Fred Ricks. Talbot's. I don't know, something terrible. Just something terrible. The bill is Kingston. Yeah, the department. Okay. How about Prettis? It was bad. In our past, in our past was called Elolia. And it's these like gold lemme stores that like the rich Mexican ladies wear like in the soap operas and stuff. And the stores are Elolia. And there's a big snake on the front made out of glitter. So yeah, she comes out in her Elolia dress and their the queens carry it out. They make her sit next to Jackie. And Dr. Jackie says, may I speak with management? Yeah. And I like that they sat her all the way on kind of the no man's land of the cast. Yeah, that way they can just like kick her off when things get really annoying. Which is probably about three minutes. Shipped the camera. She's making pop by face again. Move the camera. Popping right infringement. Like, downing some spinach in one thing. Oh, right. She's ridiculous. I hope she goes away. And she's saying thing that she's not. Yeah. She's like, I just had to take a break this season. She she overstayed her welcome her first few episodes. I was like, yay. And then I'm like, no, no, no. I forgot. I hate Mariah. Go away. Go away now. Use the worst. And that ends all married to medicine. So I think there's only about four more reunions. How many reunions does this one get? Just one more or two more? I think just one more, but you never know. Well, bye. And then next time we have below deck Ladies of London and the real hair swaths of Atlanta preview. I know. Oh, and speaking of Twitter, Ron and I have the great honor of being followed by Kate from below deck, which is so great. Oh my God. I'm totally practicing your voice now. See, I can't do it, but I will be able to do it by Thursday, dammit. Mine, as you remember, mine's sort of like a just a different variation on the Shenandoah. I speak. This is my case. She speaks like this to me. I just like thinking of Kate sitting on a washing machine somewhere listening to us and just being glad that she's not around the people upstairs. I think of her listening to us and thinking to herself, these guys are so stupid. These guys are idiots. They've never been on a yacht. They've been at club med at best. These guys are like holiday in on land. Sad. These guys are like the slide. Something terrible that we all hate. These guys are so howard the duck. It's like, I feel bad for Leah Thompson for even being around that mess. How's your justice? We love you everybody out there. Love you all. Thank you guys so much for listening. Thanks for supporting us on Patreon. Remember to listen to our bonus episode because it was really funny today and hope you get some coffee and we'll be back on Thursday for more fun stuff below deck, as Ronnie said, and ladies of London, our favorite show on TV at the moment. So bye everyone. Then forward. Forward. Stop Valentina. Stop the podcast. Pauline. Press stop for Valentina. Valentina. Turn off the microphone. Pauline. Shut down the computer. Valentina upload to iTunes. Got bad news, mom. Bad news, man. What gets it's over? You don't seem to even care, mom. Pauline, why are you in the stock room? The podcast is over. Valentina get Pauline at the stock room. Turn the podcast is over. Pauline, call Valentina to drop the mic. She's eating it. Eat the mic. Drop it. Drop. Slowly on the floor. Release. Bad news, mom. Microphones ruined. Oh, great. Now the store. Now the gift shop's broken. Less calories than jelly dots. Well done. All right, Pauline. Pauline. Write a memo to Esmeralda. Write a memo to Pauline. Write a memo to Valentina. Saying, well done, then. You know, hips up, shins up. Bad news, mom. We had to get rid of all the pins. You don't have enough money for it, unless you fire Pauline. Pauline, you're fired. You've been opposed to the pen. Pauline's chin isn't up. It's unhinged. You're on the engine to get the microphone out, man. Can't talk now. Hands draw, rehends. Hey, mom. Bad news, mom. They're out of the gel pens. They only have a race of mates. Would you like an arrest mate? No, of course not. I don't want an arrestable pen. That's ridiculous. The hawk is going to come out. Valentina. Steppers. Bye. Kill you if you don't press stop. I'm going to kill you. Sorry, we just, it's like the worst thing happened. We went on a run right at the end. Goodbye, everyone. Goodbye, everyone. Next issue is the mobile app that lets you tap directly into the world's most popular magazines anytime, anywhere using your phone or tablet. The best part? Next issue is offering a free trial right now when you go to nextissue.com/crapins. Again, you can try next issue for free right now when you go to nextissue.com/crapins. If you like Watch what Crapins, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery+ in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. 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