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So to help us, we brought in a reverse auctioneer, which is apparently a thing. Give it a try at midmobile.com/switch. $45 up from payment equivalent to $15 per month, new customers on first-three-month plan only, taxes and fees extra, speeds lower above 40 gigabyte CD-tail. Today's episode of Watch what Crapins was brought to you by Premium subscribers, Claudia Catalina and Kristi Doherty. We love you girls. Now on to the show! Hello and welcome to the Watch what Crapins podcast, the podcast about all that crap we'd love to talk about on Bravo, I'm Ronny Karam from Trash Talk TV, and as usual I'm here with a bad accent and a beautiful, hunky man with gorgeous locks of hair that hang down his back, low in the wind as he talks brilliantly about things, and his name is Ben Mandelker of the B side blog and the banter plan to hello, Ben, hello I was like, who is this gentleman? We're discussing, is it Coach from Survivor? God, Coach, I know, what kind of romance novel would that be? It would be a very terrible romance novel with a lot of pontificating about dragons and tigers. It would be a lot of somebody trying to have sex with them, with somebody who uses rock deodorant, like loose romantic book Eva. Anyway, thank you for listening to the Watch what Crapins podcast, and everybody we love you, thanks for being here! Yeah, so thanks for listening and we'll talk to you guys all next week, bye! There is so much stupidity to talk about with Bravo, and sometimes it makes you hate the world and sometimes I'm just so grateful to be here and get the yap about it, which is most of the time, so thank you, I am grateful for that as well. I'm over to Watch what Crapins.com for all our personal links, go to our Facebook page, facebook.com/watch what Crapins, and that's where everybody gathers and just talks crap about everything, really funny, all the stories we're reading today are from there. Yes. Well, you know, sourced from other places, we don't have like reporters on there. Well, sometimes we do. But do we? Oh yeah, sometimes we do, people will be like, I met Pandora and here are the 20 questions I asked her about Lisa. You know, actually I did walk by the offices of the Divine Addiction like about a week and a half ago and I talk to myself. Yeah, and not only do they have offices, they took over the office of my former manager. Whoa! So yeah, so I actually am in a weird way connected to Divine Addiction. I'll bet your manager just didn't pay and Mohammed took it back over and was just like you can use it, just take it, take it till I rent it. I haven't divorced his wife yet, so she's not taking it, so just use it until she takes it. Yeah. It was very exciting being so close to the hub of journalistic bravado, the Divine Addiction. What's the one from Blood, Sweatin' Teal? Blood, Sweatin' Teal. Oh, I love that show, it's all about different shit. I'm actually wearing Teal, that's so appropriate, Ronnie. I am wearing a less teal. I am wearing a less teal. I am wearing a less teal. A women-empowered teal party. It was called, what was her name again, it was something pop, something pop something. What was Geneva pop, it's like Geneva pop matters or something like that. Geneva pop news, Geneva pop sugar, yeah, so it's like that. So anyway, people go on our Facebook and post really good shit, which we'll be reading in a moment and we take forever with this. So go on to patreon.com/watchitcrapins to subscribe to the podcast and get the bonus episode every week. Ringers, we're doing our subscriber hangout next week. Oh, we've got a good week next week. Oh, yeah. Two things happening next week. We're doing, okay, I wrote it down Tuesday, instead of just recording on the phone, I'm going to have to leave #catchdisc, which I'm still at, by the way. Oh, you can bring the hashtag #catchdisc, all my scooter, I'll strap it on to my scooter and my couch. We're having a playdate. Yeah, we're going to get together and we're going to record the episode on Periscope. We had so much fun when we live Periscope. Yeah, I feel so old being like, just to be on the Periscope. Just to clarify, we're recording our podcast as normal. It will appear in your feed as normal. However, while we record it, we are going to put Periscope on. So you can watch it live. Oh, God. Do you sound like Heather talking to a busboy? Well, or someone describing challenges on Big Brother. That's, you know what, that's where my mind is at right now, okay? I just feel like you're condescending. Okay. I'm with patronizing. No, you're not being. I actually just don't explain anything. In case anyone gets concerned that, oh, no, I have to have Periscope to listen to next episode. No. That's how it's normal. Okay. But it's not Periscope. It'll be on Periscope also, so that'll be really fun. When we record, we're just going to be on Periscope to get that. Yeah. And we'll try to field questions live during the show, but it's a little hard, because it's easy to get distracted. And of course, our link to our Periscope, I believe, is on Watchaprapins.com. And by the way, yes, just Twitter. One thing that we actually would like to mention, we know we make about a dozen demands. You guys, which is so impressive that you guys put up with it, especially because there's like a minute pre-roll before the show even begins. But be sure to subscribe to our podcasts. You can subscribe on iTunes, on SoundCloud, Stitcher, wherever you want. You don't have to wait for us to post the episode on Facebook. You can just subscribe and it will appear on whatever platform that you use. Or whatever. Yeah, whatever. Sometimes people are like, "Where's the episode?" If we post a link to iTunes instead of SoundCloud on our Facebook, sometimes people are like, "Well, where's the episode?" And this is just a way to say, "Don't worry. If you subscribe, the episode will come to you." Like, I don't know if it's bombed. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So we're going to do our Periscope on Tuesday, and that'll be at noon Pacific time. So it's a weird time to do it. I mean, we don't expect like a million people, but yeah. That's when we record. That's Tuesday, the 22nd, Eriv Yum Kapoor. And yeah, we'll be doing that at noon together. And then on that Thursday, we will be getting together to do our hangout that night. So we're going to record our episode as normal, and then that night we're going to have our subscriber hangout, and that'll be at 6pm Pacific time. And you can get that info on patreon.com. Just come to Facebook or Patreon or whatever, and you'll see the links there. If you are a subscriber, it'll link you to Patreon, which will link you to a Google Hangout. And we'll all talk and talk and laugh and laugh. We'll never stop. Yeah. So let's get on with the show. I know. 20 minutes later. Here's the podcast. I know. Sometimes we do record this when it's sunlight. And if you've had like a night before, it's like, hello, it takes a minute to like wake up. Yeah. Especially on Thursday, because we don't have the bonus episode to slap this into gear. I know. And it's such a beautiful day out here today in LA, and the sun is shining. We don't have to do a bonus episode. We can just... Relax. I'm not sweating out the smell of frozen potatoes and goat cheese. Oh, it sounds delicious. I know. Talk about romance novels. I'm sipping on my coffee. I'm already almost done with my coffee because, you know, it doesn't matter. Let's just get to the podcast. And also found a good coffee creamer. Coffee made Nestle espresso flavor with Star Wars R2-D2 on the front. Thank you, everybody. Oh. So your creamer comes from Tatooine, best tasting cancer I've ever had, y'all. Okay. So let's start with some housewives, a gossip. Yes, please. I mean, it was like below deck and ladies and London was great. Okay. Who's got some on the end? Oh, my God. Good to see you. So going down this week. So... Thomas Ravenel. Yes. It's expecting baby number two. Fresh from being punished. Fresh from being punched in a bar, as noted on Tuesday's episode. Can you believe we have actually two separate Thomas Ravenel pieces of gossip for this week? Thomas Ravenel's getting punched, then punching wombs with his Ravenel spurred. Wow. You'll never guess who he impregnated being. Oh. Tomy. Oh. Say, Carly, if you ever you know, don't leave me. Tomy. Um, Tom, you know, Thomas is, you know, he has to recognize that I'm going to be his wife. Um, we have a family Thomas and I support you and if that's what we're going to do, that's what I'm going to do. Thomas. Thomas. Baby. Don't give me his name to me. Tommy. Tommy. Can you believe he went back to the well? I mean, he never left that well. I know. He's like, I'm not thirsty. And then he leave the well and then you'd be like, I'm thirsty and then he'd come back to the well. It's like, you never really leave the Brit off, do you, Don't even act like there's some sort of filtered water in that well. You never left the garden hose. That is not putable water of Thomas. And you know, it's, um, he is, he has knocked up Katherine Calhoun once again, and well, her name is in Catherine Talhoun instead of the baby's Calhoun something, but Catherine, wow, this is a dysfunctional relationship. And one that obviously does not involve condoms or birth control because they are so dysfunctional. He, I feel like in his brain, he knows Catherine is not the future and that that he should not be with Catherine. Ooh, but. Thank you. Tom and no. Oh, man. I think Thomas has seen his future recently, and it didn't look as pretty as it once did. And he's re looking at the future again. He's like, but on my great grandma's fur. And I'm going to look at you as a different future. A future with a fur that doesn't ever quite fit you. I can't wait for all of Cameron's snotty little comments on the next season of Below Deck. And Whitney too. Oh man, they are going to be chuckling up a storm. Um, yeah, not that huge of a shot. I mean, I guess it's nice in this day and age to see people actually committed to each other. That's nice. Yeah. It's like they're having babies with the same person, you know, that's kind of commitment today. Yeah. Good for them. Have your baby. It's functional. You two kids, you have a good time and Catherine, please do not complain anymore about not getting child support because now it's going to be like double the complaints. Yeah, I didn't get a check and it's going to be like, but why are you mad? I didn't get a check, but you already said that, but it happened twice and I know Catherine, it's called birth control. So if we hear any complaints about how you're, you're left alone taking care of two babies and Thomas is out doing, who knows what? Well, guess what? It's called birth control. You shouldn't have gotten knocked up a second time and he shouldn't have knocked you up. You're both at fault. I'm not even. I'm blaming the victim. I'm not even knocked up shaming. My thing isn't that she even got pregnant. I'm not. No, no. I'm not suggesting you are saying if she complains about it though, it's like, well, you could have done something about it. No, yeah, I know what you mean, but I just feel like it's not the problem with me. Isn't that she got pregnant in general? It's that she got pregnant with a, like a guy's baby who she knows is not going to give her the money. It's like, yeah, at least have some financial sense. I don't expect our private parts to have any sense because I know mine can't think, you know, and the Giants get a lot more credit for thinking it through, but let's face it. I've never met like an actual vagina that's thoughtful. Come on, everybody. Let's admit it. Yeah, take that Eve Ensler. That's right. Private parts just basically don't think very much. So it's up to you to look at your Wells Fargo account, go to that statements and accounts. Make sure you click through all your build pays and look at the last time that shit was paid and then fuck somebody. Yeah. Yeah, this is going to be, it's a disaster basically. These two and there are two kids. I mean, Catherine, I'm really becoming a poster child for daddy issues at this point. And Thomas becoming a poster child for disaster. And yet, and yet, by the way, by the way, all those people who were like, well, I would never vote for Thomas Ravenel. I bet there's like a good chunk of them who would vote for Donald Trump. And that makes me mad. And I base that I'm very little information, actually zero information, but I just feel like there are people in South Carolina and turn the nose up at Ravenel and who are pro-Trump. And I'll tell you, I would prefer I mean, I would prefer Ravenel over Trump. Ew, I wouldn't. I mean, at least Trump. Yeah. Look, Trump may be an asshole, but there's someone who understands finances, you know, like that guy. Yes. And you can say bankruptcy and stuff like that, but bankruptcy and stuff like that. But it's also kind of a good, good strategy when you have a bunch of different companies under different LLCs that you file bankruptcy on when you don't pay them back and file. You know, I don't know, like it may be evil, but it's not stupid. Thomas is just stupid. He is stupid. You know, like, Donald, yes, he's done some dumb things, but for the most part, he's not an idiot. He's just an asshole. Thomas is stupid and an asshole. If Rick Santorum and Ted Cruz can get into positions of power, then I say let Thomas Ravenel and his baby-making cocaine-reformed ways get up there too. Why not? Why not? Let's mix it up. You see that came out years ago that was about how stupid we're all getting. Hello. We're part of it. We're on a show called Watch It Crappings. But anyway, it's talking about how stupid the world is getting, and the president is a pro wrestler, and it's really not that far off. You know, it's like a reality show star. Well, I mean, people were shocked. I mean, it was a big deal. I don't think we really realized it, but I think it was a big deal that Ronald Reagan was president. Remember back to the future? Oh, that's true. And Martin and Fly goes back in time, and Doc is like, who's president? He's like, Ronald Reagan. And he's like, oh, well, who's vice president? Like, my alum in a row, or whatever, he said, you know, so yeah, we aren't that far off. We are not far off. You're like, historically, we've always been stupid. If you really think about it, we've always been a very stupid country. Now watch it, like, hashtag Americans Against Crappings, which would actually be a blessing. That's how we extend our listenership. Let's get a hashtag. Can I make a side note, by the way, I'm a little fired up about something. I'll be very quick because this has nothing to do with Bravo, but it has to do with a former Bravo guest of our crappins guests. There's a hashtag going around this week. Nurses unite. Have you seen that? Yes. Oh, my God. So you know why, do you know the back story about why there's hashtag nurses unite? Well, I'm very educated. I read a tweet about it. And somebody said, nurses are mad at the view because they said something about nurses being dumb on Miss America or something. Exactly. And that's probably what most people read, and which is why people just voted in because nurses are outraged. So what happened was, former crappins guest, Michelle Collins and Joy Behar, we're talking about the Miss America. Those two are going to get into some trouble together anyway. They are going to get to travel left and right. It's actually hilarious to me. But you know, here's the thing. So Miss Colorado, for her talent, the talent portion, she came out on stage dressed as a nurse because she is a nurse, she had a stethoscope, and she did a monologue that she wrote herself. It was a nice monologue. I thought it was very saccharin, but it was also very manipulative because she's talking about how she deals with this Alzheimer patient, and she can't help them in certain ways because she's like, well, I'm just a nurse, I'm just a nurse, just a nurse. And then one day she comes in, he's crying and he says something to the fact that like you're basically, you're more than just a nurse. It's like a nice thing, but it's like, trically in the way that some forwards are over email. The point of the story is this, Monday on the view, Joy and Michelle are talking about it, and they kind of, you know, they make fun of it in the sense that it was like a stupid monologue and it was manipulative because if you speak against it, you're like, oh, well, you're speaking against Alzheimer's and nurses, you know? So of course, hashtag nurses unite. I can't believe you think that nurses are talent or have no talent. They don't do anything blah, blah, blah, blah. And it made me so mad, I'm like, people just love being outraged. I just love, I mean, listen, rare podcasts where all we do is get outraged, but at least we know what we're outraged about is completely stupid. Exactly. Because I actually saw the hashtag before I even watched the clip. And when I watched the clip, I was like, really? That's it? That's why people are mad? You know, people just, you know what, listen, no one was saying that nurses are useless. Could you imagine anyone saying that everyone knows nurses are wonderful? Yeah, no one would say that. Like, oh, stupid nurses. They're like the saints of the industry as they should be, oh my god. Exactly. So it just what bothers me is that someone started the hashtag. So I'm almost annoyed that someone dared to make fun of Miss Colorado, which I'm sorry, Miss Colorado, that was her talent. I think you can make fun of it. It was like, I'm sorry, it's not, it's nothing against nursing because you think her monologue is silly. Yeah, why can't it just be against bad monologues, you know, like, what do we kind of be outraged that someone's being made to terrible actors? No, that's what we thrive on in this country. Exactly. Get your priorities straight. You know what, like, everyone these days is so sensitive about being shamed. Everyone's like, oh, well, you know, don't fat shame me, don't slut shame me. Now it's like, don't nurse shame me, you know, and then at the same time then everyone goes and publicly shames everyone else. So it's ridiculous. So here's the, here is the foot now and then I'll be done with this, this non bravo rant. I'm sorry. I'm sorry everyone. You can just fast forward. That's the, that's the beauty of a podcast. You can just move your little thing forward until I stop ranting. Yeah, just give us a moment. We'll be back to our own public shaming. Yeah. Right. Yes, we'll be back to our own. It doesn't count when you're behind a couch desk. Yeah. So, um, so then, uh, yesterday on the insider, I think it was the insider, E.T. Nicole Arbore, who we discussed on our, sorry, got to alternate on the silence. Remember, Nicole Arbore, she's the one who fat shamed people on her YouTube channel and got kicked up YouTube. Oh, yes. We talked about the bony, yeah, now she really did go out of fat people. She really, and she was really nasty about it. Okay. She's like, I'm not after the kind of fat people. I'm after the really fat. Oh, okay. Thanks. So she, I guess was on the view this week. And so she told entertainment tonight, she was like, yeah. So like Michelle apologized on the air, but then backstage, she was just like, whatever, I have to apologize because people on Twitter are mad and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And she was talking so much shit about Michelle and like what Michelle was saying backstage, which may or may not have even been true. And I was like, no, shut the fuck up, Nicole Arbore. Okay. You were basically like trying to be the next and culture at this point, just saying outrageous things to just get people mad. I don't think the entire thing infuriated me. Well, it worked. People feed off that shit, you know? It worked a little bit because some people agreed with it, but also because people were outraged and then people were outraged at fat people would have the nerve to be outraged. And I mean, fat people were like, yeah, but I'm outraged because I can't sit on a plane seat and then fat people were like, yeah, I'm outraged too because I should have bigger plane seats. This is, you know, this is whatever, a disease or whatever. Yeah. And then everybody's such a victim. I'm like, oh my God, if there's like a literal car crash outside and somebody's bloody on the street, everybody's just going to be too busy because there's not even a real victim. It's like, do you even pick up anymore? It's like ambulances. That's why ambulances have started charging you every time they pick you up because everybody's in emergency all the time. And finally, they were like, fuck this, we're charging for this shit, right? - Yeah, exactly. And the reason why I found the Nicole Arbor clip is because I want to see who some of the people were posting hashtag nurses unite. And there's this one girl, she's like, loving mother and wife and blah, blah, blah, and then she's like, fuck you, Michelle. Like we work hard, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and then it's a clip and she posted a video on Instagram of Nicole Arbor saying what she said. I was like, you know what? Whoever you are, lady, you didn't even, you probably never even looked at the source of the original comment. And on top of that, you're basing everything off of what Nicole Arbor says on E-T. This is the problem right here. And I even wrote a comment. I said, I would take what Nicole Arbor says with the green of something. - Oh my God, stop saying that girl's name, I can't. I can't even have that name in my, 'cause I didn't even know the name and when you keep saying it, it's gonna stick in my head and I don't want that girl to be stuck in my head. - I know, I don't. - But yeah, people, you know. - Look, I don't know. We're just also frustrated with real issues that we're taking it out on other issues so that we can yell and scream. Now, I know that I do it on this show, I'll get mad at certain things and go crazy. And then later I'll be like, maybe that's because of being behind on my own bills that I'm mad about whatever. - Yeah, people feel marginalized in general. I mean, so anyway, look, you know. - That was my rants. I say harm with guns, okay? I mean, no, I'm saying don't harm with guns, harm with your words. If you're gonna be angry, I mean, fine. I think at some point we're just all gonna be so desensitized to it that it's gonna become fun to have a positive, to be happy or to just, once we just all chill with each other, we'll realize that we're all the fucking same when we can all make fun of shit together. Like we don't need to be so separate. - Exactly. And by the way, I think if nurses wanna focus their wrath on anyone, it should be on Kim Zolciak, who makes their profession, who really puts a blight on their profession, Kim Zolciak does, not to women of the view. - Oh God, Kim Zols. Well, I always have respect for her actually because of that to be honest with you. - I know, oddly enough, me too. - And Luann too, because when you actually, that's your actual job, I mean, that's not just, the joke is always like, oh, the sexy nurse. And then she finds a rich guy or whatever, which, you know, I guess both of these women could kind of be that stereotype. But at the same time, they're cleaning up blood and shit. And like, people that have to touch, the people that they have to touch, you know, they touch one day eyes? - Yeah, they touch a lot more people than the doctors. You know, they do the pre-screening and all that shit. - Yeah, they have to deal with all the shit, you know, literally. And so, well, I say, but you know, they're so busy that they don't have time to do it. I guess watch the actual clip. - But I don't know. - Obviously, it's not like all of them didn't. - One was gonna be a mean to a nurse, come on now. If anything, it's taking down a bad monologue. Don't be doing monologues this, Miss America. What are you doing? And if you're gonna do a monologue, don't make it about what, like, a sensitive, great, amazing human being you are. And you finally realized it. And now you're in a ball again. It's like, I'm so sorry, pretty privileged, you know. She managed to find a way around having to sing or dance or do puppetry, so she could do a monologue. Which, by the way, did not do very well. It was like watching a sixth grader do a monologue. And she wrote it herself and it was nice, it was nice, but it was very amateurish. I don't know, I don't know, if there's a talent portion, you should be able to critique the talent at the end. Like, why is it okay for us to sit there and critique her tits all night? And that's not disrespecting nurses, you know? What, like, why is, I mean, people are ridiculous. Give me a break. - Yeah, they are. - Okay, so anyway, back to Braava. Talking about getting outraged over ridiculous things and people who really make a difference in this world. - Let's talk about Braava. - Let's talk about David Smisteris, just kidding. So, people are so mad about everything, 'cause I've read Cindy C., Cindy C., on the case. (sings) Most did something about David's mistress and everyone's getting mad because the Shannon fans are mad that everybody's talking about this when they're going through this very personal time. - Well, yeah, it's so personal and private. - So personal, she's been talking about it on Braava. - I'm having an Irish party to celebrate David's penis not being in somebody else. David's penis is not up in the airies, so let's have a party. Should I stop talking about it? And then we'll stop talking about it, how about that? - Yeah, how about that, how about that? - Talk about a victim parade, oh my good. Shannon is the type that would get up as Miss America in a Miss America pageant into a monologue. - And for that, I would support. (laughs) So that mirrors how it's done. - Yeah, today, I'm going to talk about David. - My husband. (laughs) 20 years ago, David and I made oaths to each other. He said, "Till death to you apart "and you would be true to each other." But then David went and put his penis in another hole. And since then, our marriage has been crumbling. And I hope I win Miss America so I can be first somewhere. - Because it's certainly not at home. Thank you, David. I would like to solve Brooks's cancer. I would like to cure Brooks's cancer and David. (laughs) - I just want the world to have world peace and I want all of us to get along, except for Davis's mistress, because she has rattled our family much the way as terrorists have rattled peace in the world. Thank you. - Please stop rattling. - Thank you. That's going to be my motto when I'm more rattling. - When I'm Miss First Lady of America, USA, universe. - One of the worst things I ever heard was that David's mistress referred to me as rattle-dones. I thought, well, that's a convenient thing to say. Miss 30 year old. - And Donald Trump is the judge. - You're old, die, just die. - I love the idea that Shannon's monologue at Miss America is just her rambling about David. She's just, like, I guess, nail her chest. (laughs) - I start pageants. - Oh, so this article, of course, this is a daily mail link. And you know I love me some daily mail because they not only go on 15 pages about one tweet, but they will also bullet point it at the top. And then in the middle of the article, they'll bullet point it again. And then at the end, they'll bullet point with a bullet point. They're like, if you miss these bullet points, up top, there's another bullet point about this bullet point and please like us on Facebook. - Yeah, well, Lisa's better than Buzzfeed who will have the headline and be like, hey, look at this incredible video of a bear eating a fish. And then you click on the link. And then like first the bear puts his head in the water and you have a still from the video of the bear in the river. And then it says, and then the bear sees a fish and then it's another still. And then the bear eats the fish and it's a still of the bear eating the fish. And then it says, watch the whole video here. I'm like, well, he just spoiled it. You just spoiled it with all your screen grabs. Just put the video up top. Well, yeah. I already know what happens with a fucking fish. I'm not watching this. - I'm not watching this. Okay, it's spoiled with the headline. Now I'd see what's gonna happen. - But meanwhile, you've made them $5 million with all your clicks or even worse instead of a screen grab. They just do little gifts of the movie. So it's like you're watching the video and piece of it. I am really ranty today. I am sorry everyone. I am sorry. - We're talking about Chandler. That's why we still haven't even gotten to the story. Okay, so the story, I honestly feel like, and maybe it's because we've been talking already for five hours, but I feel like we've already read this story, heard the story and seen this woman, but I don't know, everybody's outraged, so. This is the woman who cheated with husband of ROHC's Shannon Bidore and assorted eight month affair and then befriended the reality. Start a probe for info to break up the couple. Bullet points, I'll just make it quick. David Bidore has been married, blah. He became intimate, executive, meeting of an elite business club, entrepreneurs. Has a job, Vicki would approve. - I approve of your mistress. Now you see there, that's how to get a third wife. Someone with a jab, I mean, can I? - Also, she's 43, so you gotta give David some credit 'cause she's not, no one in the world. Shannon first suspected David when she heard him whispering on the phone. Daily Mail, who's learned that Shannon and Mick Mackin, Mick Mackin, had become friendly. Oh, hello, Mick Mackin, it's 43, oh, oh, 43. - Oh, please stop, Mick Mackin on my RAM. - Should I miss this, Mick Mackin? I think she was married, actually. They became friendly after meeting at their daughters after school basketball games. Shannon and David decided to be open about the affair on the season's Real Housewives, a move they hoped would help other couples. And the woman is pretty, she looks like Shannon. She looks like kind of Shannon crossed with Shannon, she looks like two Shannon's. - Yeah, if you took Shannon and mixed her with a little Shannon, you get this woman, if you took my last haircut and made it a mixture of this haircut, it would be two haircuts in one and it would be medium and that's about her. - If I had the time to nebulize three times a day, that's what I would look like. - David was having sex with the, David was being intimate with the woman that I was creatively visualizing myself becoming. This is such a coincidence, Dr. Moon. (laughing) - So anyway-- - I bet she doesn't pee when she runs. - Fares are terrible. I mean, what else are we gonna say at this point? - Yeah, basically, it's really not a news story. It's just that he, and David still had the affair. Jan was like, "Damn it, damn it, did you read out "that negative thought that you read?" I can't believe people are talking about this, David. Tune in Monday, we're all gonna be talking to David about people talking about us after talking about the Daily Mail Online at a party. - My favorite publication is a Daily Mail because they bullet point my 40 to 50 negative thoughts. - David, David would you like to bullet point something? - David. - @DailyMail Online. Will you please bullet point my thoughts because they are taking over my life? - Thank you. (laughing) - All right, so let's get onto the show, shall we, Pin? I think that's a wonderful idea, Ronnie. - Five hours in. - Five hours in. - We have to dive into the funniest show on Bravo right now. Ladies of London, ugh, this show. - Please. - Killing me, there's a reason why it's acronym is LOL because that's all I do when I watch this show. - Yeah, this shit's pretty good. It's amazing. - So let me see where should we start previously? Royal poor person, Caroline wore something with fringe on her boobs. I don't know why. I don't know if we have to do previously since we did already cover what happened in the last episode. - Well, it's just my notes, all right? I say previously because that puts me in the mindset to talk about now because we didn't talk about the fringy boobs. That's weird. - Okay. - And also the new Caroline. Okay, so that's what's coming up today. - Yeah. - Okay, so Julie, I noticed on the beginning of the show that they don't care about names and casting because it's Juliet, Julie, Caroline and Caroline. - That's what I thought too. - I was thinking that too. I was like, Jesus. - It's like the widest people in the world. (both laughing) I think they're going-- - Jennifer, Jenn, Jenny and Julia. Basically, this show is all that stuff collecting. Okay, we got two Julie's, we got two Caroline's. Can we get a third somewhere? All right, great. That means we get five points. Okay, we get two Julie's and one Juliet. Then we get six points. - Just not another Annabelle 'cause there's something about the numerology of that name and she'll be crying 10 times the amount. - I know. I love, again, the opening montage of, this is what the ladies are up to and they're showing everyone doing fabulous things and they cut to Annabelle pouring herself some tea in her old lady home. (both laughing) - She's like, finally, I can paw tea again. So yeah, she's pouring tea and then the new wacky one is making scrambled eggs for a dog and it's both wacky that she's making scrambled eggs for a dog and wacky that she's doing it herself. - I don't think that she's, I actually don't get the vibe that she's trying to be wacky. I think she's just her. What I did love is that she makes the scrambled eggs and then the dogs eat it and then she just is there on her knees staring at them sorrow, like with just nothing but sadness in her eyes. Like, this is my life. - That's how they look at you, Bean. It's like a housewife in season five. - Yeah. - Doo-doo-doo and Julieette's little opening thing. They're all rushing to get their kids out and her husband's like five for five weeks and she's like, honey, can you get me a new Chanel bag? - It's like, no, he's like, no, click, slam. - Yeah. - He's like, we live basically in the equivalent of Patterson, New Jersey except in England. So no, no Chanel for you. - Yeah. - Rent first, Chanel second. You can't live in a Chanel bag, okay, Julieette? And then Julie, poor person, royal. She's like, oh, God, it's gotta speed the feet. The kid's spider is, oh my God, oh, oh, it's so hard. (laughing) - Get the spider buttler and tell him he's breakfast. - I don't know why the things like that crack me up, but it's like, lady feeding her dog scrambled eggs. - I gotta feed the spiders and the kids over here, man. - It's like, God, I'm a lady drinking tea. - Yeah. - Blah, blah, blah, Caroline to Marissa's. What am I talking about? - Yeah, Caroline goes to Marissa's house 'cause Marissa wants to electrocute her with some sort of taser spa treatment. And-- - Have I actually explained to a lot about Marissa? - Yeah. - It really, really does. And they were talking about the Thanksgiving situation and then the show flashed back to Marissa's Thanksgiving first, which looked so stuffy and boring. There were, it was dark, dark, it was this dark room. They're all in blazers. And she's like, I just wanted to thank everyone because my family comes for Christmas and not for Thanksgiving, and therefore, you all know my new American family. - But I would like to thank you guys for being my new family. (laughing) - It looks so good. - Your eyes are on it. - Just like my blah, blah, blah. And they're all looking at her like, what is Thanksgiving? Why are these potatoes mashed under a turkey with juice on it? (laughing) Where are the bangers? Where are the bangers? - Mm-hmm. - Yeah, they're like, you're gross. - And she's like, I would like to congratulate myself for having an amazing y'all. (laughing) - I have planted a tree, a social tree. And best of y'all, I plan to climb. - Shut up, Marissa. - Marissa is really annoying. Then they show the Juliette Thanksgiving at Caroline's, and it's basically like four people. Also a little stuffy, but at least it looked more relaxed. But then Marissa's still all snippy about this whole thing, and she's like, well, I think Juliette chose the wrong social ladder to climb. "Oh, shut up as if you're not climbing ever." - You're like a social ladder to stand under, and then have like 10 years of bad luck. Shut up, Marissa. - Yeah, Marissa, you are basically, you brought up a fire truck, and you hauled out the biggest ladder you could find to rescue someone off the top of the social ladder. Okay, you, like, your ladder is like 10 times larger than anything Juliette has. Juliette has like one of those little things that Librarian's used. - Yeah, she's got one of those step stools that people try and squat poop on. - Yeah, and everyone knows she's not going far up it, so they just sort of let her climb where she may. But Marissa is the one who is really climbing the ladder here. - Well, she's bragging about it. It's this weird sport they have. Like that's part of their personality that they're proud of. Like some people work really hard to work out and look good, or some, you know, some people, you know, read books and try and get smart and get jobs and stuff. But stupid people like her. It's like, yeah, I've fricked really hard. Do you know how many parties I've got to-- - Get invited, finally. - And I don't want it. I've made it. - Like, what are you talking about? You've made it, okay? I don't see you getting an invitation to Buckingham Palace anytime soon. - She rented a hall, Ben. She rented a hall, how dare you? She rented Royal Albert. - She got personalized, felt turkey hats for everyone. She has arrived. - What was that party? Was it some, did she say that she has that every year for her own party or that she sponsors? - That Royal Albert party thing. Is that her party that she has every year? It's just her party. She throws that huge thing. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - She, I'm like, no. - We're on it, darling. - No, we're getting it. - It's a concert. - No, it's a concert. She just runs out a box. And so, you know, like, a lot of stadiums have-- - Oh, shut up, Marissa. She's making it sound like they gave her the Royal App. She's like, I finally made it to the Royal Albert Pors. - She's like, I invited 8,000 micro-hosts friends, except Juliet. - No, she, she invited-- - What the hell is going on on this show? And how rich is this bitch? - Listen, they got a box. I mean, it clearly cost a lot of money. They got a box. They rented out one of the private rooms that way they could have a little reception. But no, she's not freaking promote. She was not a promoter. She's not, she's not live nation, okay. - Yeah, she's like chicken master. She's like, well, congratulations. You've made chicken master mod. She's like, well, now that I've arrived in London's society, I have decided to invite 30,000 of my closest friends to run around the streets in what I like to call a mofon. - No. (laughing) - I would like to invite everybody to the A pride parrot that I'm throwing. - For me, and a few thousand of my closest people. - I would like to invite everyone to the Queen's Jubilee, which I am throwing. Thank you. The entire country is invited. And since I've arrived at the top of London's social scene, I know that everyone in the country is going to arrive for this event that I'm going for the Queen. - I didn't know what a Jubilee was. So I got you guys hats that are shaped like jub jubies. - I would like to invite everyone to the races. I have decided to raise 10 different horses that we're going to race. And everyone including the Queen is going to come. So thanks, everyone, for coming to my event. - Here's your horse hat. I got it for you before you decided to ruin my life and throw a party on the same day as me and compete with my paperless post. (laughing) - What was the name of that? What's the name of that super famous horse race in England? - The Ascot. - Ascot. - In my prayer lady, it's the Ascot Cabot. - Yeah. - Thanks, everyone, for coming to my Ascot event. - Thank you for coming to the Ascot Cabot. (laughing) - Thank you, everyone. I just want to welcome everyone who came from London and everyone who drove through my channel to get here from France. Thank you so much for getting here. - I would like to thank all of my American formula for not coming because you're embarrassing and nobody invites you anywhere, even in Missouri. So stop it. - I would like to invite everyone from across the world to use my airline, British Airways, to come visit London. Thank you so much. - When this scene began, this is gonna be a 20-hour podcast. - I know. - When this scene began, Caroline came into the house and she's like, darling, it's frigid in here. - She's like, yeah, that's how I thought you like. (laughing) - No, no, I did that all the way. I thought I was like, it's frigid out there. And then she's like, but it's boiling in here. - Oh, it did. I just heard frigid and I was like, well, there you go. - Well, either way, the point of the scene is that Marissa is organizing a little party at this Christmas carol sing along and she's not inviting Juliet because she doesn't want Juliet there because she doesn't want the controversy, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. - For a Christian holiday, by the way, I'll point out. Just what Jesus would have done. - Jesus is like, damn it. You know what? People were giving gifts to each other on my birthday Santa Claus is not coming to my party. No, you know what? Here's what I don't want. I don't want Marissa to come and she's going to want to sing "Dike the Halls" and it's time for "Joy to the World" and it's just, it's not cool. So much drama. No, not invited. (laughing) - Could you imagine Santa Claus finally dying and going to heaven? And Jesus is like, well, I had a turkey hat for you until you ruined my birthday by giving out your own presents to people. Thanks. - You know, I understand, in a weird way, I understand Marissa because Juliet can be really annoying and if she's just done this thing that's been really annoying, it's like, ugh, I don't want to have to invite her. But you still invite. So something like that where you invite everyone and then you don't invite her, it's mean. The punishment does not put the crime. What you do is you just don't invite her to drinks. Next time you go out with two or three people, you know? - Yeah, but at least we have to give her credit for not being passive aggressive. She's just being straight up aggressive. Like that wasn't a passive aggressive. - It was aggressive. - Yeah. - It was very effective at confrontation later. But when they showed the clips, they show a flashback of the thanksgivings as you were saying and hers was terrible. And then Juliet's was so uncomfortable because she's like Caroline's house. Like that's not fun. Caroline's like, we've stuffed Fantasia. The assistant is now dead and we are eating her. Enjoy it. Someone feed me this with a fork. And Juliet's like, yeah, just like at my house, at home where we put it on the couch all day and I'm butting our pants. - Yeah, I dare you to fucking sit on her couch and I'm butting your pants. - Yeah, exactly it. That's what I was gonna say is that it definitely did not look like the thanksgiving that Juliet had envisioned. Caroline and her sister-in-law are just sitting there staring at Juliet. It's like Valentina. They had to play it's Valentina Turkey. - But Juliet is just as much of a social, she's not as good as Abbot, but she's just a shameless. So it's hard to feel bad for her too. 'Cause she's just so uncomfortable, but it's like, well, yeah, Abbot, I'm in at Thanksgiving in a bigger house. So I win. Like, congratulations. - But you know, you found a bigger house tomorrow. - At least we didn't see the whole thing, obviously, but at least you knew there was an option to go sit on a couch at some point. Whereas at frickin' bumpkin, it was 30 people in a dark room huddled around a tiny table with Marissa congratulating herself, okay? - Well, maybe that was how she grew up. (laughing) - That's true. - Let's not just knock everybody's traditions. - I know. (speaking in foreign language) - God, don't they? - So, okay. So the big thing is that Juliet's not getting invited. Caroline's already annoyed, 'cause Caroline knows she's gonna be stuck in the middle and she said, I'm gonna have to be dealing with this for the next three months, which is her way of saying, oh fuck, this is what the storylines could be like the whole season and I'm gonna be in the middle. - Right. Yep, she literally said that. It's like, oh God, I have to talk to you three months of the year and this is what I have to deal with. - Pauline, get me out of here. Pauline, take the shock therapy, Pauline. - Pauline, call Fantasia to call Valentina, to call Vanessa to send you an email to remind you to tell me that I'm over this. I just don't want to do it. - You're well, her system ran years like, all right, man, let's get you out of this lecture therapy, man. I got bad news, mom. - That bad news, mom. - You're gonna be in a fight between Marissa and Juliet for the next three months, man. - Feds, they were cleaning your chimney's sleep, mom. - Gonna have to fire some people, man, before the fight. That's what you did, man. - Crocodiles are apparently all dead. We can't make that Crocodile, but it's for the Queen's nephews, mother's, cousin's friend that she met at that party one time, mom. - Okay, well, that's fine. - All right, then look around here, I'm eating a bowl of sugar candy, all right, look around here now, and delicious, all right, look around here now and tell me who to fire. It's like, oh, oh, oh, you look like you're gonna cry. - I think I am. That's disgusting, get out of my sight. - All right, that's down, that's later on the episode. - So good, she's like, leave. Do not cry in front of me, leave. - So then the next thing we see is Annabelle taking Julie and Marissa to a gallery to see Sebastian Golden. - Oh, good, okay, it's a big white room with cords everywhere, literal electrical cords everywhere. - Yeah, Annabelle, this is like, I'm already happy because it gives Annabelle excuse to be high and mighty and R.T. Farti and all that fun stuff. So they get in there and then I love, Annabelle goes into immediate name drop mode, she's like, we are at an art show which a good friend Emilio Dula Moreno has invited us to. - Emilio, Emilio, we're here, we're at an art show. Alexander loved art. I learned something from art. For example, today I saw one chord that was plugged into another chord which also had another chord plugged into it. Apparently it's an extension chord. You know, Alexander McQueen loved things that used electricity. He would always assist that all his machines had a power chord. So this exhibit here that my good friend Emilio Dula Moreno invited me to is just exquisite. If only Alexander was here, I could finally tell him that he could use his lamp and his sewing machine at the same time. One of Alexander's most favorite things in the world was a power strip. Apparently you could have put up to five different machines into a power strip and they would all work. This is something that my good friend Emilio Dula Moreno told me about, power strips, learn about it. - Annabelle is so drool. And she has three modes. She's crying about herself or she's crying. Well, it feels feeling bad for herself. And yes, breaking your spine is bad. Okay, I might think it's fine. But I'm just saying like crying for yourself, slash dead people. Or just behaving horses slash. Well, or she's name dropping and talking about how famous she is. Or she's being an absolute cut fitness to everybody else when she was in this and I loved it. - It was amazing. By the way, don't get it twisted. We love this shit. When she said my good friend Emilio Dula Moreno, I was like, yes, yes. - Have you ever thought of hanging an extension cord from your ceiling, along with 50 others? No! (laughing) - It's not like that she lashes out. Throw the teacup at the wall. (laughing) - Get out with your battery operated machinery. - I was. - I was the first one to inspire Alexander to throw tea at the wall. - When Sebastian Gordon told me that he'd be hanging cords from the ceiling into the wall, I thought, this is classic McQueen. Don't you agree? Good friend Emilio Dula Moreno. So anyway, one thing that I also noticed in the scene as they walk in, Julie, the thing with Julie is she's kind of astounded at everything. She's so self-deprecating that she, everything is like a wow moment for her. She's like, oh my God, there are cords. Look at me. Of course I'm stepping right in the cords. I can barely even walk in heels. Oh, I never going downstairs. You know, I can barely walk on stairs. I have to escalate everywhere. I mean, I'm a lady and I don't even know how to walk downstairs. This is just crazy. There's a downstairs. I never even knew there was such a thing as spacements. I mean, I'm a lady. I don't even know about basements. I mean, it's crazy. She's like, hi, I'm Julie. Nice to meet you. Oh my God, I can't even believe I'm here. Where am I supposed to pick up the trays? I'm supposed to serve, right? Oh, this is me. I don't even know I'm a lady. They don't even burn the hot chocolate here. I mean, it's crazy. I'm a lady and I don't even know how to not burn hot chocolate. And here they are serving hot chocolate everywhere in a basement with cords and I'm in heels. I mean, this is crazy. No one is mad at me for burning hot chocolate here. It's just weird. I don't know how to take it. I don't know how to take it. Some people just can't be hugged. It's just so amazing being around Annabelle. I mean, she's like aristocracy for dummies, which is perfect 'cause I'm a total dummy. I mean, I don't even know how to read. So I wouldn't even know how to read aristocracy for dummies. I mean, it's crazy. It's crazy. I don't have time to read. It's just kids, kids, kids. Spider Feed the Spider. Do you have any to go boxes? Is there any food here? Oh God, is that a cord? Don't you run the cord. Oh, Jesus, this is the first baby proof. What's happening? I don't even know how to pose for a camera. I mean, is this how you do it? You have to teach me. I've never even seen a camera. They can actually take your soul and put it onto a picture. That's crazy. Is this gonna steal my soul? Annabelle, you have to teach me everything. Oh, this is so great. They taught me about pictures. I'm still being painted at this dam. The dam castle is taking forever. Is that what I look like? I've like literally never even seen myself before. I'm a lady. I've never even seen a picture of myself. Do you know how hard it is to maintain your weight for four years to get one painting done? It's hard. It's hard. Oh, Julie. Love watching Julie just being a stress to mom. And I'm also loving the dichotomy of like royalty. Basically, you run a public hotel. Yeah, royalty. Make sure the janitor cleans the cafe in front of your house. It's like poor thing, you know. Oh, it's like you may have royalty and then it's like a work or be a poor thing. Poor thing, poor thing. So, can't wait to watch you spiral out of control on TV. So then I have Caroline inviting Caroline to scan an avian Christmas. I don't remember. It comes like you threw my notes. I bet Julie doesn't know to have pick taken in front of cables. (laughing) Exactly. So funny. Oh, and then no, I have to say this to you 'cause this is some funny shit when she, when Annabelle's like, "I'll show you how to take a picture." And she's like, "Oh, she's a passion icon!" And then Annabelle stands there still. And then she tilts her head very slowly to one side. And then tilts it very slowly to the other. It's like a slow mo, those stupid iPhone slow mo videos of someone trying to clean their water, you know, like the water out of their ears or whatever. Yeah, exactly. That cracked me up because she threw her head back and then she puts her head forward. And it's like crooked way and she puckers her lips and gives this very serious, "I'm a model. I'm aristocracy for Dummies, Alexander." Look. And then she throws it back and throws it forward, throws it back. And then Annabelle, she's like, "Okay, but I'm done now." I inspired Alexander to design the bobble head. And originally it was supposed to move at this rate but unfortunately, companies in China don't give you that option when the car is moving. I was the muse behind Duck Lips. It happened when we were at Balmor and we were hunting and the dog went and got a duck. I came back with a duck and before the duck died, I thought, "Wow, have photo-genic." When I was a wild partying youth, I played a pinball machine like a wacky girl. And I got a tilt and it gave me the idea. "Thank you, pinball machine. I miss you, pinball machine. Come back to me, pinball machine." "Oh, Alexander!" Rock 'n' roll. Rock 'n' roll. There was one time when it was afternoon tea and I decided to have some English breakfast tea in the afternoon of so rock 'n' roll. I took a sip and it was hot and I flung my head back. I thought my lips are burning and my head was back and my lips were puckered and I thought, "That is art." When I'm ready to jump back in the scene and I'm completely here from this monstrous, horrific thing that's happened to me, I plan on eating a bowl of fruity loops in the evening. What? What a rock 'n' roll. You're about to be refoured. Fun time. I was about to put some clotted cream onto my skin and I thought I heard a noise. I put my head forward and I thought, "That is a great pose." Rock 'n' roll. I'm still suing the American company, PBS. Apparently, there's a large man shaped like a bird who has stolen my birds. Holiday magic is in the air and DSW's got all the shoes to make your season extra merry. Believe, you've got parties to attend and list to check twice so DSW is taking care of the details, like gifts to make their eyes all aglow, styles that bring joy to your world. Brands everyone wants like Ugg, Nike, Birkenstock and more and deals to make your budget bright. Find the perfect shoes for you and yours at a DSW store near you or DSW.com. Audible's best of 2024 picks are here. Discover the year's top audiobooks, podcasts and originals and all your favorite genres. From memoirs and sci-fi to mysteries and thrillers, Audible's curated list in every category is the best way to hear 2024's best in audio entertainment. Like a stunning new full cast production of George Orwell's 1984 heartfelt memoirs like Supreme Court Justice Katanji Brown Jackson's "Lovely One." The year's best fiction like "The Women" by Kristen Hannah and Percival Everett's brilliantly subversive "James." Another worthwhile listen is Amy Tintera's thrilling and twisting who done it. Listen for the lie. This laugh-out-loud funny tale follows Lucy, a woman who needs to clear her own name after a true crime podcast decides to probe into the worst night of her life, one she conveniently can't remember. Audible, there's more to imagine when you listen. Go to audible.com/wondrypod and discover all the year's best waiting for you. A very good friend of mine, Mr. Snuffelopfigus, he told me all about rock and roll. Snuffelopf, yeah. I inspired Alexander to design Snuffelopfus. Snuffelopfigus only got his distinctive look after him at Alexander, after Alexander met me. Before he was just a regular donkey, and who needs that? Right, Alexander? And then came the birth of Snuffelopfigus. [LAUGHTER] My good friend Emilio de la Marino once told me that the fashion industry has never been the same ever since Snuffelopfigus came around. And we all know that I was the muse to the muse, Snuffelopfigus. The fashion industry changed the day the normal donkey walked into. Emilio's showroom tripped over a cable art installation into a pile of dust by me. And then was born Snuffelopfigus. [LAUGHTER] They wanted to name Snuffelopfigus Annabelle, and I said no. Do not call that beautiful donkey Annabelle. Call him Snuffelopfigus. Oh, God, I love it. Anyway. So stupid. OK, so now finally we're going to meet-- No, go ahead. No, you go. I was going to say, now we're done with the second scene of the episode. [LAUGHTER] No, so anyway, so Caroline, I forget what's happening in the scene, but basically Caroline invited Caroline to Scandinavia in Christmas. And by the way, as soon as she did that, I wanted to go so badly. How do we get to go to Scandinavia in Christmas? And it grows, airport, flying, people, humanity, different-- I want to go to Scandinavia in Christmas. And I love how Caroline Stansbury describes Caroline Fleming. She's like, well, you know, she's grown up in castles, you know? She'll tell you to come catch a dinner and shop in a ball gown. She's crazy. I'm like, that sounds great to me. I love her. Yeah, another episode of rock'n'roll, "Ladies of London" style. She's like, she's crazy. She came to a casual dinner in a ball gown. She needs her dog, scrambling. She eats a main dish with a salad fork. And Caroline's saying, people judged her so harshly because she didn't stay home. She didn't run the family castle. She went on television. She had some self-respect and went on America's model. I don't know what it's to talk about. I'm Denmark. America's top Danish model. I had Valentina watch at once, and she said it was quite lovely. Well, I love that Caroline Fleming is-- she is very-- I mean, she's-- what am I trying to say? I like that she is. She does ooze wealth, you know? Even though she's sort of quote-unquote "of the people" a little bit, she is not. Like, the first thing we see of her at home, she has a friend named Bjorn Als come over to visit, and then her friend Pia is also visiting. And I just love that this woman has a friend named Pia and a friend named Bjorn. And Pia is the most lethargic blase person we've ever seen on brother. She's like, aha, yes. And she lifts a lazy arm. That's like a wilted flower to shake someone's hand. I love everything about Caroline's world. Is that the sister-in-law Pia? No, the sister-in-law is Caroline Stensberg's. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Yeah, it's just a friend. You see, I'm going to have trouble with this. Pia is just a friend who flew in. She's like, oh, Pia, I'm so glad you were able to fly in. And Pia is like, oh, thank you. Yeah, she's one of those rich ladies on Bravo who's trying to have the personality of, yeah, one with the other. I don't think she's trying to, I honestly don't think she's trying to have a friend. But she's not obnoxious about it. I think that's just her. You know, when you were so wealthy like that, you don't need to put on errors. That's just her. She's a certain desperation there for whoever it is. So anybody on a reality show is automatically flawed in that way. Anybody who does any kind of entertainment or whatever has some kind of need for attention, right? Yes. So she's been rich and stuff, but she still wants that need for attention. And when you need that from the people, they like it when you're one of them. And she's just like, I don't know. I do obviously security, but I think she seems pretty self possessed. Yeah, I love when she and Pia and Bjorn went upstairs to decorate the Christmas tree and she just goes, so shall we just? Like she doesn't finish her sentence. She's like, should we just? I like how she was actually thinking in the part where Caroline was like, she is one of the finest women in the country. She has been on television. Or whatever. She was doing that. This is the first housewife that we really ever had that hasn't had that. Opening scene where they do all that you're like, who the fuck is this? And then people talk later. This one she was announced kind of last time and this time. I was like, where is she? And then they finally showed her. And the first thing she says is, well, I am from. She said something like, I'm from an aristocratic family. But the first thing but I don't want the first thing to tell people when I meet them is that I'm royalty. Like, bitch, you just did. Like you literally just did. And that's what made me like her because I was like, oh, so she is trying. Like her thing is she's trying to be one of the people, but she's just going to fail miserably and that's going to be amazing to watch. Yeah. You know, I love that in a housewife. Shall we just? Shall we just? I'm just, I'm just, I'm not even wearing shoes at my party. It keeps me grounded. Yeah. It's like, yeah, because we're on the ground. You know, I like to keep the ground. It makes me feel grounded. That's why they call it grounded. You know, I learned that in Denmark. I just love barefoot. I just got in some terrace. I find it very grounding. I just got in from Paris literally at four p.m. And now I need to cook Cheetos. Yeah. Well, anyway, so before we get into that, jumping ahead a little bit. So we have, so Caroline F is going to throw a Scandinavian Christmas party. And so now the people are getting ready. And Julie, guess what? Julie is wearing a red dress that was lent to her by Annabelle and that dress is not just any dress. It's an Alexander McQueen. And she's wearing a red dress. Poor Julie and Annabelle thinks she's being hilarious. But I know what you're doing, Annabelle. You're putting her not only in last season, but like, I don't know how many seasons ago would that be? Would you like to borrow my 11 seasons ago dress? Alexander made it. Oh my God. Oh God. Alexander made this. Oh my God. Of course. Is this an Alexander McQueen? This is designed from Persia? Wow. Oh my God. Do you know Alexander McQueen? He said like the Queen of McDonald's. Who is it? Who is it? Oh look at it. Wait. My kids love McDonald's. You get freebies on Happy Meal. So that's what I'm asking. I wouldn't do that. I'm not a climber. I'm like, I don't have a castle. I'm a real team. But do you think I could meet him? Do you think you'd introduce me to Alexander McQueen? I'm going to build drops or teak up. I cannot believe you just said that. I have to say, just because it's Alexander McQueen does not mean it's best dress for Julie. I did not think it looked great on her. I thought it looked kind of like a sagging red prom dress. One of them even said like, one of the ladies is like, oh, are you going to prom? You look like a gift bag for a wine bottle tolling. What are you doing? When she went on that dress, I'm like, do I have to look beautiful? She's pretty and everything. Her body is banging. Oh my God. But that dress, it's one of those dresses that are designed for the runway model who's like a ruler and has nothing on them. And she is. She has that kind of body, but there's like two darts sticking out from the rib cage. You know, it's like Alexander was trying to make it look like a model actually had a rib cage. It was like kind of a falsifying rib cage. It was weird. It was very unflattering on her, I thought. It actually made her look skinny in a bad way. It was almost like a troop too low in her cleavage and it sort of exposed a lot of her skin and there's like a lot of sun damage on her chest. It sort of did. It actually made her look old and it also wasn't totally appropriate for the event because it was a little bit too. There was too much skin showing and not like, oh my God, shocking, but it looked almost more summery than like a Christmas party. Well, this girl is married to Royal ended up being a minimum wage worker at a public space. Then has to go to a party with someone really famous and then wear clothes that don't fit her that are had me down from like 11 years ago that you know smell like mothballs. I mean, it's a rock and roll mothballs. I feel he's in a plastic thing with tape and air condensing and mothballs. It's like, oh, you marinated it. Gross. Well, I love that as the party as the Scandinavian Christmas was gearing up. Caroline Fleming was very sure to mention that she's like, well, you know, I don't necessarily know all the people coming. I don't know the Americans, but I know the friends of Caroline's and, you know, they're very important to Caroline. So I want to welcome them into my home. I was like, okay, that was her hedging her bet to say, if these people are crazy, it does not reflect on me. Okay, these are not my guests. I just want everyone to know these are not my guests and not my friends. Everyone, I want you to know. I don't want people. I don't want fans on the internet blog for America's not America's model of tops to be writing me hate mail. I do not know these women. That's it. Scrambled egg stones. I am making an American hamburger for my dogs. The end. If they don't understand my metal bench with the little mountain in the middle, well, then that's on them as Americans. I saw this and I thought, this is a bench no one would understand. And then I took off my shoes and I paid for it. That's how I do things. Nothing rules. Nothing says free spirit than a bench that no one can sit on. And of course, they show the gay guy like rubbing the hump in the bench like, you are like that. No, I've been always sitting there and on that one. She literally bought a homeless proof bench for her living room. You know how they put the things in there? Yeah, so you can't fall asleep on the bench. She's like, no one will be falling asleep in my living room because I want them to leave. I have to believe right now. So they all get there and they're sitting around and then Caroline F, so condescending. She's like, oh, for the Americans, I got some Cheetos, but anyone like any Cheetos and she literally passes around the ball of Cheetos. I'd like to celebrate the Americans. Americans, I've got Cheetos and I've gone into trillions of dollars in debt in the past 10 minutes. Welcome to my home. Please take off your shoes. It's not for you. Here on the left here in this bowl, we have some crackers and on the right, we have some cheese that I spread out of a can. I feel like that was the Dr. Jackie test on married to medicine. Now, do you want to eat the bell pepper or the pizza? You decide. Like hard test. And Julie, it's like, wait, was Julie out there? Who was all excited about Cheetos and Caroline? Oh, Cheetos. Oh, she's just crazy. Look at her not wearing shoes. I'm telling you, one of the finest women in London. Oncus. You heard it here first, folks. Julie, it's like, I just wish that she had served Fritos instead of Cheetos because Fritos just reminded me more of home. And you know, Christmas, it's like reminds me of home and I don't get to be at home. So the Fritos are like home. I don't know. It would mean a lot to my family if you had Frito pie. So, like, I don't know, like, I'm not telling you what to do. It's just like, you're bossy and I want Frito pie. So, I mean, it would mean a lot to my family because, like, my family's sad. My husband's gone. My husband's gone. Where's my husband? Cheet Frito pie. Marissa shows up with a bag of Doritos with Julia's name on it. I just want you to know these are the Doritos I bought for you before you decided to go to Caroline Fleming's Christmas party instead. Why are you so bossy? I never said that, like, Fritos. It's like, oh, shut up, Julia. I guess you did. Just so you know, just so you know, here's the bag of combos that I bought for you before you decided to go to your own Scandinavian Christmas. Oh, so I'm a terrible person. Is that what these Fritos are saying? Was there not a bag that said Fritos for horrible people? Why don't you go buy that bag? Why don't eat them? Because I'm a horrible person. That's what we do, right? We all I'm saying that are labeled horrible. All I'm saying is that I butchered a reindeer for our Scandinavian Christmas slash late birthday party for you, and you decided to trade up. Oh, so it's my fault. It's my fault that Santa Claus beats Rudolph the reindeer. That's what you're saying. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I did. Yeah. I did. Yeah. So, so I bite you're blaming me for giving your people poison blankets and taking over your country. Is that what I did? Is that what you're saying? All I'm saying is that I have made a Scandinavian meal with herring and berries and prunes. And if you don't want to have it, that's fine. Here are your son chips and prunes. So do we cut to that part yet? No, no, no, I love that part though. Oh my God, the two idiot Americans. I just love it because this show is just set up to make fun of Americans. And of course, it makes all people look like dodo birds, but the Americans always take the cake. Oh my God. I mean, they make Americans look bad even for a bravo show and that saying something. Yeah. So, you know what happens is first they're all. They're waiting around for dinner to be served and they're all mad that Caroline doesn't actually have any help because it's like she's taking too long in the kitchen. I can't believe she doesn't even have any help. This is ridiculous. We're so hungry. But this is what I do. I do everything myself. I cannot have people cooking from my guests. I do think my family wouldn't do that. We're rolling. I loved at this point, by the way, that, or maybe it was a little bit later, but Annabelle, she's in the kitchen. She's holding a dog on one hand and a bowl and the other and the dog starts to slip away. She's like, Oh, no, and she puts the bowl down to like rescue the dog and place it back up. I'm like, bitch, just let the dog fall to the floor. It's okay. It's a dog. It's okay. No, don't drop your dog. It was like whatever macking you're making for your guests because you know everyone. Yeah. You know, she's like says she cooks and then she just cooks for like the party so she can say she cooked and then everything's like, you know, a letters wrap with Cheeto. It's like one of those top chef challenges where they have to get stuff out of the snack machine. Yes. She's like Americans. I love this. Well, so either way, Caroline served up goose, which, by the way, looked delicious. And then, but there was a controversy because Juliet won't eat goose. She eats duck, but she won't eat goose. Sorry, but I'm in charge of my life, and I'm in charge of what I eat, and I'm not going to eat things. I'm not comfortable. And that's just like, that's what I'm saying. And that's like the stand I'm making. So stand there. I said it. I said it. I did it. I did it. Well, I won't eat venison because that's Bambi and I won't eat goose because that's like mother goose. And you know what? I like fables. So therefore I will not eat mama goose. Unless it's the three little pigs because I mean, like, you know, the big bad wolf didn't blow down the walls of bacon. You know, it's just the pigs. It's different. It's different. Listen, listen, goose was a wonderful fighter pilot for our country. I will not eat him. He already got screwed over by dying halfway in that halfway through that movie. I will not screw goose over. That's it. I said it. I'm doing it for my family. And it's very important to my family. So that's it. I said it. It's important. It's important. Martha Stewart asked. Oh, yeah, that's a part where she drops the dog. She's like, I'm very Martha Stewart-esque and she like screws the pooch. I'm like, yeah, pretty much. I'm going to talk a second about Caroline Fleming's dinner table. Something very weird was going on. Oh, you know what I forgot to talk about. Last call. I'm just kidding. I was trying Tuesday morning. That's what I'm trying to think of. I forgot our Tuesday morning. Have you ever been to the store Tuesday morning? It's the one that Lauren Pecal used to ask for. Go to Tuesday morning. Make sure it's a Tuesday. Oh, wait, what? What are you talking about? Okay, this is why I brought it up, everybody. I'm not on drugs. I'm not on heavy drugs. I'm bringing that up because this looks like a Tuesday morning commercial and anyone with a Tuesday morning in their town knows what I'm talking about. It's a closed store and that was all Tuesday morning. It was like a whole day. It's like when you go to Dillard's or whatever and you're looking for what to buy and the dining room table has every dining room thing ever. It's like five runners. Yeah. Well, this table was strange because it's a big dining room table. And in the middle of it, there were these two poles and then a glass shelf of things. It was like a shelf that you could put all the center pieces, but the center pieces were elevated so you could see under it. And then another shelf above that for more stuff. So what happened is you have a table that has this giant structure right in the middle. And while they can see each other through it, it's so bizarre. It looked like people were eating on two sides, two sides of a wall. I would be making it. I would be making Juliet so upset if she heard this, but that would be like me going to a rich person's home and actually feeling at home because my mom is a caterer and a chef. And she is obsessed with that stuff, you know, like a party, how to make a nice party and how to plan a table and all of that stuff. And she has the, she's always got these gigantic center pieces, the dining room table. She's like, we're just going to gather and have dinner as a family and we're not going to have a TV and we're going to have 10 people over and we're going to converse. And then people are looking behind these wrought iron like tree things with like fake diamonds dripping off of them. It's like, uh, well, it's one thing to have the food, mother. It's one they'd have center pieces, but it's another to have this crazy structure. It wasn't even, I mean, it's not, it wasn't a problem. They're able to see each other, but I thought what a very strange design feature. I'm questioning Caroline Fleming's taste in certain aspects between that table, people love big shit on the table when they're throwing a party. I don't know what it is. I was like, mom, why are you making this like into the woods. I can't fucking see anybody. Like, didn't Lauren Conrad and her rival in turn get into trouble once because they put on too many center pieces at a teen Vogue dinner party. Am I crazy. Am I crazy. You know, anyway, I have to say, I have a little bit of self respect right now that I don't know that I just seem to remember from season one. Lauren Conrad had a rival intern and the rival intern was always doing everything. Correct. And she wanted to put all these center pieces on the table and Lauren was like, I don't know if we should. And she's like, no, trust me. And then Lisa love came in and was like, why are there so many center pieces and Lauren had to be like, well, sorry. And like Lauren, why did you do this? Lauren's like, I learned to never listen to anyone's advice at your center pieces. So during this dinner, we learned a few things we learned that Caroline Fleming has an Eddie Murphy laugh. I mean, Caroline Fleming, she is really fake too, which I love because she was sitting next to Juliette. And she was asking, talking to her about Marissa and she's like, oh, you know, she loves you so much. She's like, what, what are you talking about Caroline Fleming and you never even met her. She's like, you know, I don't know who Marissa is but I just know she loves you so much you guys have to book this out. I don't know a lot about this woman, but I've been getting invites from her for years and I can tell you this much. I'm always commenting on your invites and you're always commenting on hers. And where I come from. That's called tacky because no one uses the internet to send invitations. But in my heart, I think it's beautiful. Freedom! Oh darling, she loves you so much. Just give her a shot won't you darling? You know, you're both just American simple teams, but there's no need to fight. Just be friends together. You can't fix stupid darling. Just embrace that you found another one. How can it become one? Darling, neither of you will be truly ever welcomed into our circle, so why fight? Just be, be your own circle together. Darling, she loves you so much. It's so much more difficult to ignore you when you're two blobs of nothing. But if you're one, it'll just be so much easier to walk away darling. Please make up with her. She needs you. You know, we just can't keep having all these different events with Americans. We need you both to be in the same room. So please make up with her. Please. So then, there are these two guys that were there. And apparently one of them liked Caroline, which was hilarious because I thought there were two gay guys. And even Julie thought that too. She's like, well, isn't he gay? Like, no. And she said, well, he arrived with you. I mean, straight guys like put on tuxus, like with velvet on the collar and then arrived with other gay guys. Guys, it's crazy. I mean, the world is changing so fast. When I had kids, I mean, you could tell a gay person right away. Now, I mean, they all look the same. They all look just like the strict guy. This is just nuts. Do you need a place to stay for your gay wedding? Because I have a great rental with a cafe out. You will love it. It's called mapper tin and we have a continental breakfast. I think you would really love it. I make the hot cocoa. But be warned. It doesn't always turn out right. Oh my God, I'm crazy. I'm a lady. I love your gay slang. When you keep saying, hey, lady, I just think, oh my God, stop calling me lady. I'm a mother. You know, I'm just a mother. Just a regular person, just like you. So then, oh, so then it's dessert. And it's a it's an art. It's a dessert with orange and fruit and Caroline. I have to end this orange myself. Unlike anyone from my family. It's a Scandinavian orange. It was difficult to figure out at first, but, you know, biting my nails tasted much better for about now, I don't think. What's the difference between a regular orange and Scandinavian orange? The Scandinavian orange has the slashes in the o's. So the best part is that Caroline does not eat fruit because she was traumatized by eating too much food in boarding school. And Caroline Fleming refuses to hear that. She says, taste the fruit, taste the fruit, taste the fruit. Well, I would be stabbed in the face if I hadn't done it. So I did it. I took a tiny bite. And then I kept it in my mouth so I could make a Valentina chew it later and tell me what it was like so I could report back. Valentina chew, Pauline swallow, Valentin, make sure Pauline is swallowed. Pulling open your mouth open your mouth for Valentina Valentina. Look in the mouth Valentina. Do you see any fruit? Rania, tell me what Valentina says. Oh, man. She sees no fruit. Very good. Should I fire her mum? Don't cry. Do not cry. Man, it's not enough orange. Mama, I would have be did the orange. No, Rania. The orange is for Valentina. You're Valentina. You've eaten me orange. Now we checked. Valentina chew the orange slowly, slowly. Pauline, make sure Valentina is eating slowly, slowly. Oh, man. She's just chewing fast. Pauline, Rania says she's chewing fast. Oh, man. I've got bad news. A seed from the orange was backed up inside Valentina. It won't be out before Christmas. That's it. Fire a poor person. Pick one. I don't care. No, no, no, no. I invite my friend Nathan to come eat at orange too. No, Rania. It's for Valentina and Valentina alone. Pauline, make sure Nathan doesn't come. Someone posted on her face. I think Lori, Lori and we're talking about every week these days because you guys, the shit you posted is so funny. I think it was her. And if it's not, I'm sorry, whoever I just didn't give credit to you, but this shit is so funny. They posted Karen from Will and Grace. God, that show was good. It was basically, Karen was basically a rip off of Abfab, which is really what I'm always doing, not Lisa Vanderpoepope. My favorite show in the world, but Karen was so funny. They show her coming down the stairs and she's like, I can see you. And all the maids scatter approaching and all the maids run away. Just for her to pass by. So, so good. And so on points. Yes. So then they're all eating deserted and Caroline's like, all right, everyone, get out. She's like, in about 10. Are you enjoying your food? Now that it's taken an hour and a half for me to cook it? Good. You're leaving in 10 minutes. Whoa, whoa, you know, first she doesn't have someone to serve us. And now we have to leave early. It's a weird dinner party. But I'm going to be nice to her because she's rich and she knows a lot of famous people. So I really like her. And she's like, do you enjoy the goose? Yes, I enjoy this goose very much. It's not making me want to kill myself and cry to my family on the phone. Oh, that's wonderful. I love her. We're new friends. Are we Instagram this to and tag Melissa? Marissa. Marissa. Oh, Marissa. Oh, Marissa. Okay. So then, so now that this dinner party is over, we then go to the next event, which is Marissa's Christmas Carol sing along party and Marissa. Oh, she's so annoying. She's like, the holiday season in London is the social season. Like, you know, you said that last season when it was summertime when she said, oh, you know what, when it's racing season, that's the season and you have to go to every party every weekend. She said, there are certain parties in London, but you have to be. And if you're not, I didn't know who you are. Shut up. Don't use Juliet of being a social climber when you say insufferable remarks like that is just terrible. If you're not at the parties. If you're not at the important parties. I don't know who you are. Bitch, please be quiet. Yeah, please take a seat. Yeah, please take one of the many seats at the St Alberts, whatever it is. Was this the part where, oh yes, this is the Annabelle part. Yeah, Annabelle. Yeah, you know, I keep jumping it. No, no, because so what happens is people start showing up at this suite for this thing. And Annabelle arrives and Marissa is all perky and then Annabelle just basically cuts her down in the interview. She's like, well, you know, I guess I would call, I guess I would describe Marissa as upper aspirational middle class. I was like, who's happy like a cloud? Anyway, she's like this happiness, this cloudy, this fun, fun. Oh, let's be wonderful and happy together. It's like a little class aspiration. It wasn't just that she said, oh, she's an aspirational, upper aspirational middle class, which was actually kind of wonderful on the heels of Marissa being like, if you're not at this party, then I don't know who you are. Yeah. It's like the nicest way of saying trying too hard, she could muster. Yeah. And also correct. Yeah. And so I love everyone shows up with their whole family and I got in my box. You're like, look over there, you can see where Princess Diana sat. So me, I don't know, maybe if I was crazy, but I don't think I saw Caroline bring her kids. I was like, wow, she really hates her kids. She won't even bring her kids to a kids event. Valentina, sing to the children, sing Christmas Carols to the children while I go to the Christmas Carol event. I'd like to thank you for inviting my wonderful assistance to this concert. They are in the trunk with the children and. Pauline get on tambourine Valentina sing. Silent night, as in children should be seen not heard. Marissa's like, I love coming to this. It's like, she's like, I don't care. I don't care. It's just like, I mean, honey, like, she was mean. I mean, he's like, well, you know, here's what I know, a little thing happens and then you get really mad about it. And then you guys send each other really mean emails about it. And then the story gets really huge. And then I read about it in the paper and then I'm embarrassed to go to work. And then I don't come home for six weeks. And then when I come back, suddenly we're having dinner with these people again. And she's like, I love his advice. Oh, God, he's just like, I listen to him, you know, like when he gives me advice. I'm going to talk to Marissa. I was like, uh, is that what he just said? I don't even know. I think he was just telling you he's going to be away for six weeks. Yeah, read it however you need to. Exactly. So then after all this silliness, then we are at Caroline's at her office. And she's getting some bad news from Raina. But before she even gets the bad news, Caroline being the warmhearted soul that she is just fucking hate Christmas going to drown myself in my jelly talks. Those dots were hilarious sitting there with what are those are they what are those called those. They're like, but they're covered in sugar. Some drops sort of so funny. You know, the Brits have all sorts of crazy candies. We were never allowed to have the supporting school. Now I eat them every second of the day. Yeah, I hate food, but I like food and candy form. What can I say? I'm a paradox. Yes. Yeah, man. Yes. Yeah. I got bad news. The watch. It's not common to left a Christmas man. Your husband was trying to order you a juju be tree. Unfortunately, it won't be grown till they've invented it. All right, then fire someone on minimum wage. All right, go on then. Go on there. Just do it. Shoot them away. All right, you know what? Spray something on to have Valentina. Spray something onto my window wall so I don't have to look at it telling. Bad news, Mum. They're out of Cadbury downstairs. No more chocols for you for the rest of the day. Oh, that's bad. Go fire Valentina. Then hire her again. Valentina Valentina. I want you to go to every pharmacy in all of London and find as much Cadbury as you can and then throw it in the Thames just for the fun of it. I've got four terrified Valentina, but it's Christmas Eve. I don't know if I can get in there. I don't know. Technically, that was Pauline, which was Pauline who was like, wait, Mum, we have, we have a lot of orders and other than want to be overnight next day. And it's just a lot and we may have missed one or two. So it's kind of a disaster. Yes, disaster. I'm just sorry. Valentina. Go take Pauline down to the stockroom and do what you know what you have to do to her. So anyway, I could make it up to Valentina. Get on Pauline now. Hi, Mum. I'm going to have Valentina. Rania, no, you stay with me. Oh, Mum, but I want to take Pauline down to the stockroom and do you know what to her? No, I need you here. No, all right, Mum, anything for you, Mum. Bad news, Mum. To store we ordered the crocodile belt to strangle Pauline with. Can't deliver until next year. All right, that's it. Just find someone without any shoes or food and then fire them. Just go, I don't even care, Tony. Just go to another street, find someone who looks Paul and just tell them they're fired. Take a picture of it and come show it to me, Tony. I'll make Valentina look at it. Bad news, Mum. I think I figured out who's been eating all your jelly tops, and her name runs with the Schmaline. All right, then. I think we all know what to do with Valentina. Get in here. We need you to do something for us. Take Pauline down to the stockroom and tell her the true value of a jelly top. I love that woman. Oh, my God. Okay, so we're like an hour and a half in this podcast. So we need to chop any. Okay, Ronnie, you look like you might cry. Okay, go away. I just might. I might. I might miss. Get up. I will not look at your face while you leak. Get out. Don't, don't be a regular Pauline in front of me. I might cry on your own time. All right, man. You're more crying in front of men. Don't be a Pauline force to take the stairs, darling. Yes, what are coming out of every poor on you, Tony? Get out of here. I don't want to look at you. All right, mom. Feelings. Disgusting. Pauline, Pauline, get over to the river and fling yourself into it if you're going to cry all day. All right. I'll make sure she does it. Oh, Paul, Paul Juliet. I have to drive home over her poor person bridge and possibly have the sight of another poor person flung into it, just floating along. Paul floating and Paul Paul Juliet. I'm going to throw her a party on the same day. Someone else is speaking. Speaking of Juliet. So Juliet and Marissa decide to hash it out at someplace called, like, Perfusion and Sons or something like that. And, so basically it's unlike 10% of the year. Marissa is like, wow. So Marissa, they're trying to hash it out. Let's speed it up. I'm going to babble about nothing. I know. I'm trying to. I know. I know you're trying to. I'm trying to get to the end of the episode. I'll just go through this. I'll just go through this really quickly. Basically, Julia, I mean, Marissa was saying like, well, you know, I made you a Thanksgiving thing and a birthday and then you drew something else. I did it for you. I did that for you. Marissa, you're a birthday. You asked me to have a birthday party for you. And I was like, okay, I'll get you a cake at my Thanksgiving party. And then you like acted like I did nothing for you. So then Marissa, she just changes it. So that makes me a terrible person. No, that's Julia. That makes me a terrible person. That makes me a terrible person, which is not what Marissa was saying. Marissa was saying, listen, I did something for you and you kind of disregarded it. Oh, well, great. Well, when the waiter comes back, I'll order a bag of horrible person Fritos and I'll just snack on those. Okay. Cause that's what awful people do. Yeah. So, I mean, I mean, truth to be told, from Julia's point of view, it was like, well, you volunteered something without really me saying, can you do this? Whatever. That was last week's controversy. So at the basically where they came to was Marissa saying, look, I feel like I put in a lot of energy into our friendship and it's not really fulfilling me much anymore. And Julia was like, yeah. So then my favorite part was when they came to realize, well, our friendship has changed, blah, blah, blah, blah. Well, Julia goes, well, it's good that we clear the air, whether it's BFF or just F and Marissa's like F. Yep, Julia's like, oh, that was so awkward because Juliet kept trying to fight and Marissa was just breaking up with her. She walked into the restaurant and Marissa's just like texting, pretending she didn't see her walk in. It's like, oh, I didn't see you. Uh huh. And then she turns around. Julia looks like she's going to go in a corner and start sobbing, you know, and Marissa's just back on her texting in her terrible, like felt hat that doesn't matter. Her nod to shut up, Marissa, you're such a disaster. Like you're acting like such a snob, you're not matching. So just stop. Like you can't even match. Stop it. It's going to be great because the best reality seasons usually stem from a friendship, uh, going awry. And not from like a fight, not like a quad or Mariah, a quad, at least Nicole, gigantic fight, which feels fabricated. And then, you know, then the whole rest of the season, they hate each other. It's usually that there is a rift in the friendship and things are awkward. And over the course of the season, things escalate. So fingers crossed. Well, yeah, classic housewives trouble is not anything real. It's like one hurt feeling that it's also relatable. It's also relatable because, you know, when you, when friendships do change, when you have like someone that you're close to. And then you kind of go through a friendship breakup or someone pulls away or you drift. It really is this gray area of emotions because unlike a relationship where you can say, you know what, it's not working out. I'm leaving you where it's kind of like, Oh, it's over with a friendship. You don't really say that it almost feels strange to say our friendship is over or whatever. It's like it's too formalized. So you just go to this weird time where you were both. You're on the one hand, you're trying to resurrect it. You feel like if I just put some time in, we can get back to where we were. But then you have all sorts of resentments too because you're like, well, they've moved on without me or they do this or this, that, you know, it's a whole weird space. And I think a lot of us have gone through that, which is why when we see that on the housewives or any reality show, I think it always leads to really compelling seasons. You're so nice about it. I think it's just so fun to watch delusional, uncommunicative bitches, like lose their minds over nothing. I think it's so funny. Because it's not even, they're both social climbing idiots. All they care about is the social status of who they're hanging out with at the time. So to be losing, that's an act of war when you say like, I'm not your friend or we've changed status, that's, you know, for them, that's like an actual act of war. And Julie, it's the typical one who causes all the shit and goes, Oh, well, I'm just a horrible person now. Oh, so everybody hates me. Oh, that's great. It's all by fault. And then she's all big to me about it and then slowly loses it. And then meanwhile, Julie is like, yeah, I mean, let's face it. They're just like, they have a competition. And I think Julie, it's really upset and she's jealous because Marissa came to this country and she knows everybody. I mean, she's at all the parties. I mean, she's made it. I was like, Oh, my God. Listen, lady, not getting stuck in a fucking public space, working as an apartment manager. Doesn't mean that you can't still, you know, do anything in life. Leave your house. Leave your house. No poor girl. So anyway, I'm making it darling. All right. She's made it. She doesn't have to bring any chocolate milk. She just has to make back cheese. What does she do? She's made it. That's it. I'm going to go to party class and I'm going to learn how to pose. And I'm going to wear presses that don't fit me in time and fight it all the best parties to town and then you'll see, then you'll see. I got it. So, let's go from upstairs to downstairs, which means I have written a show of you being. Let's go from ladies in London to below deck. Or we can just rip it off and talk about that and happy. Just kidding. Let's, let's wait. Can we pause so I can get some water? Oh, sure. All right. I can probably pay as well. So we'll be back in five seconds, which does is going to be a million years. All right. We're back paid and wanted wanted and paid. I'm drinking my water because what happened was I was going to like a post coffee withdrawal thing where I started to feel like strange. I'm like, I need some water. Oh, no. Great story. Great story. Well, I want you to talk about that crash the next 10 seasons. Only Sunday. All right. So low deck below deck. Yes. All right, below deck. Look, yeah. Rocky can't take it. Gonna jump off the boat. Thank you. And well, yeah, what do you think? So the episode began with Donnie. He quit. He's like, well, you know, I can't work with these people, you know, like, you know, it's just not the right sort of bolt for me. Like shut up, Donnie. He's so delusional. It's like what I'm going to work for someone who won't let me back off a boat. What kind of person would I be if I worked for someone like that's ridiculous. I mean, this guy, like an engineer and a captain have to be best friends on a boat. Like, you're not the engineer. Yeah. I mean, hold that 30 fucking time. I know somebody walking around with Secret Service. Like, you're not the president. Stop. What are you doing? I mean, he really did say, how am I going to work for a guy when he's going to give me a hard time for doing a backflip into the water? I think he just answered your own question. You shouldn't be doing a backflip into the water. That's why. Could you imagine, like, if your caterer and your caterer jumps into a swimming pool at an event, that's not what you do. This guy's an idiot. And also, last week, I don't think we talked about this, but she's like, when did you start working out? You work out so much. And he's like, yeah, I work out because I got in a motorcycle accident. Ever since then, I've been obsessed with my body and working out. Like, get a car. Like, what are the muscles going to do? Like, get a fucking car if you learned anything. My God, it's not an LA fitness darling. You need to be in a suburban. All right. Well, no one really cared that... Get rid of him. Yeah, get him on the tender and speed his ass out of here. I'm done with him. I'm not going to yell at poor people for the rest of the episode, darling. Not fired ones anyway. Connie was like, you suck anyways. And I like to kneel. He's like, order and believe and quit in. Good for you and kneel. Good for you. So anyway, so Rocky is talking. She's boy crazy. I may be skipping this. My notes are actually very sporadic. Well, not much happened. I mean, the main thing that happened was they still have the same guess. Like, how long do we have to see this queen? Like, he has two... His face is two different colors at this point. He's kind of... It looks like he's wearing not a beard, but you know in cartoons how they don't give them actual hair beards. They just color them in. So it's like a different shade than your face. It's that. What is that? I don't know. It's like a spray tan beard. It's weird. Stop it. It's weird. But the next thing I have written down here, and we may go out of order here because again, I was not being diligent. See, what happens is, if I sit and watch my laptop, I write a note about every single thing that happens, just why we spoke about ladies and London for five hours, but if I sit and I just have my phone and I just jot little notes, then I have like nothing. Oh, yeah. Well, then why don't I just also have three notes, and then when something sounds fun, we'll just stop and talk about it. You go through the notes and then when it coincides with mine, but I think mine actually is pretty much next to that rock. You talk about how much she likes a meal? Yeah, no. So we're swimming, so Dawn's gone. I'm deleting Dawn. All right. And it feels amazing. I feel like I'm getting rid of a really bad coke habit. Be the captainly of this part of the podcast. You steer the ship. On his way out, he's trying to get sympathy from all people. Kate, because she's his friend, but he's trying to talk to Kate and he's like, yeah, well, you know, I said, I quit. She's like, well, you know, sometimes it's better to know that you've just lost. And to go home. What are you going to sit on the baseball field all day? No, that would be sad, pathetic. Bye. Bye now. This was the closest that Kate ever came to being warm and fuzzy. She's like, well, you know, I think it's good that you found out, you know, now that this is not the boat for you and you can go off and sail and find something else to do with your miserable life. And Amy's like, what? Don't quit. Oh, Dawn. I feel like every time there's a cute man around me, he runs away. I didn't even get a chance to give a crush on him and have someone else give him a blowjob. Yeah. It's not because I changed my bangs this morning, is it? Because I didn't know if it was going to work. Does it work? Do you like it? I don't know. I mean, I don't care. I'm not my own woman. What do you think? I decided to put a conch in my hair this time. It's nice accessory. What do you think, Donnie? Oh, he already laughed. I found a conch in the sink. And you know, I mean, in the Bahamian culture, you just do not leave a conch in the sink. It's not what you need. So I'm wearing it. I decided I need a broach. So I put a big conch shell right on my chest. Hey, Donnie. What do you think about the Donnie? He leaves all that boat going to show why I can't really want me to shoot down in my conch. Oh, damn it. Here I am, conchless and alone, just like always. I'll tell you what, you know, I couldn't learn a lesson worse if I just skip school. So Amy's adorably sad. Love her. Kate's wife's tonight when you blah, blah, blah, blah. He's gone. Delete him. Delete him. Valentina. Delete. All right. And then Rocky's like, oh, well, there's one less penis. Oh, Jesus. Right. And this is when Rocky starts talking about the guys that she likes, right? She's not too conny. Okay. Of all people. So she's taught. So it's like one desperate free dick girl talking to semi subtler. Yeah, desperate for that girl. Talking about how those last one dick. She's like, yeah, but I mean, I don't know. Like, I mean, he is really in a meal. I mean, I mean, I mean, like he's had so many chances. You know what I mean? It's like he's dancing. And I'm like, spirit fingers, spirit fingers, but he just won't sink his 16 bars. You know what I mean? Yeah, she's like what I like is that she says that she likes a meal. She's like, I really like a meal because he's nice. I'm like, no, you like a meal because he's hot. She's nice. Just be shallow like this. The captain is nice. Okay, you ain't fucking him. You fucking the hot guy with skin exfoliation. Okay, don't fret. But then she's like, but you know, the thing with him is that he's young and immature. Like, I believe this is a pot calling the kettle black situation as she does jazz hands on the bow of the ship. Where's an Annie wig and her confessional. It's a hot knock yacht. This life. It's a hot knock yacht. There's always a musical that these shows remind me of. And this one, it's just Annie with her. It's just that child acting, you know, it's like, okay, Pepper, we get it. You're strong. Like, did you literally just walk on with a sledgehammer and hit. I'm so annoyed because I thought that when I came onto this boat, we were going to be reenacting anything goes. I could just imagine the director from the dinner theater where I grew up doing shows Greg Taylor. Hey, what are you doing up there? Pepper. It's not about you, Pepper. You realize you're doing Kristen. But he literally, no one from the dinner theater and all parcels listening right now positive, but that's literally him. He was so tired all the time that his head. He was this like 400 pound guy. And his head would just rest on his shoulder like totally sideways like his neck couldn't even hold it up. It was like a person sleeping on his own shoulder. And he would just sit like that all the time. And one of the leads was Kristen. She was Kristen Monson. She was always the lead in the shows and stuff. But he would yell at people all the time. And it just reminds me that. And of course it was me. I wasn't Pepper, but like I was a pepper in this story. It's not about you, Pepper. Okay, it's called Annie not Pepper. I'm glad that your parents are raising you to know that you're special, but you're not here. Okay, get the line. The name Pepper is inherently funny. My art teacher in elementary school is named Pepper Crowfoot. It's not great. Pepper Crowfoot. I love Pepper. I love Mrs. Crowfoot. So, yeah, so anyway, I'm supposed to be reading notes to go faster and I'm not. Yeah, and shame on you for making me fantasize about Kristen from Vanderpump Rules running a dinner theater, because that is just too funny of an image for me to ignore. Yeah, well, I'm not going back to that table. I don't care. Places, places, curtains, and five. It smells like salmon's been eaten. I smell salmon birds. That means it's five minutes people. I would like to welcome everyone to the York, Pennsylvania Community Theater production of Into the Woods, a dinner theater. The only place that Pepper can be the most popular person in Annie. People ask for her all night. Can I have some pepper. Please welcome to the Victorville Community Theater Dinner Theater Workshop Pepper. Tonight's performance of Oklahoma will not be featuring Pepper. Welcome to a land called Oklahoma. A land of corn and big things. And Tom's probably had sex with people from Instagram there. Please support the theater fire exits. Bye. I would like to introduce the Grand Rapids dinner theater production of Oh my God. I'm not recording. Oh, yes, I am. Yes, I am. I'm sorry. Grand Rapids. Grand Rapids production of cats. That is a local one that people don't do enough. I know. Oh my God. El Paso productions were the best because every all every single one of us was overweight. And it was just, I would just love to see us all riding around and really badly at Tarts that were like on the dollar rack at the Walmart, like. That's not clean. There's not even how cats move. This is stupid. I don't even want my name on this. Take it off. I'd like to welcome everyone to the Carson City, Nevada community theater production of Brigadoon. It's a musical about a town that only appears every 12 years. I mean, seriously, seriously. The whole town is going to the worst party planner ever. I literally booked the hotel room in Brigadoon and now the entire town is gone. Like, what am I supposed to do now? Who doesn't get a Facebook invite? Where is this town? Everyone's not here. You're the worst party planner of all time. I literally took my halter top wedding dress to Brigadoon to have it altered. And now the entire town is gone. Like, what am I going to do now? Oh, so we are off to low dick. All right, so we're going to build Brigadoon productions. Okay, we're off topic. Rocky's desperate for a man, whatever. And then poor Connie, because she has to sit there and listen to Rocky talk about how she goes through literally a list of like every man that's ever stepped put on the boat and how they feel about her and how much they want to have sex with her and which she should choose. She's like, he just caps aside. It's like, make up your mind, Emil. Like, I think that walking away, you know, she's like, they'll strike out of me out. I'm like, he's literally walking towards the ballpark exit day. The game has been played. He's leaving. Like, he's gone. That's your sign. Yeah. So, so yeah, swimming contest or something. So the diving contest, you know, Dean Swelver wants the crew to jump off the side of the boat in costumes and whoever wins gets $500. And I love Kate. I mean, I love everything Kate does between Kate and Caroline Stansbury and Annabelle. I mean, these two shows really have us covered on the bitch front in the best possible way in the best meaning of that word. And Kate, her costume is that she gets into like a full on submarine outfit. She's like, I'll do what you want, but I'm not going to mess up my hair. Do you want to do something phallic? No, she was just she just got into this orange underwater like deep sea diving. It looked like she was going to explore a mile under the ocean to find those like true electronic. I'm real. Yeah, this whole diving contest for Dean. I was like, what is this big brother? What is this like a competition? I can't with this. Come on, show, make a fucking effort. I think Eddie dressed up now. Eddie dressed up as like a stereotypical Mexican in terms of he put on a poncho and a sombrero and a mustache. And then they played Bravo play this music. I was like, I think this might be offensive. I know. And Dean's like, you're fabulous Alfredo. You've got my bow. And they're, you know, she's like, Oh, look, there's Alfredo. I was just afraid of Facebook. He's he's diving off a boat. That guy can really do anything. So, what are we talking about? One of our listeners Curtis Curtis is hilarious. Curtis is like, listen, guys, I think I don't like Heather, but you. I mean, she had a totally benign interaction. And you're right. We did. But to be honest, it wasn't really to make her seem like a devil. It was just like a funny. It's like a funny character observation. Yeah, I can apologize for anything regarding Heather. I just, and you know what? It's not even like I hate like she's a horrible person. It's just funny. It's just a stereotype of the rich, entitled white lady. Look, I've been a waiter my whole fucking adult life. Okay. And people like that. I just know them so well. Those people who are like, Oh, yeah, I know Ronnie. Because they're like, Hi, how are you waiter? Oh, my God. Tell me, wait, before you take my order. How are you? What are you thinking? I don't even think that Heather was being involved. Obviously, it was just a line. It's just that attitude. I don't, I don't know. That's funny to graft an idea onto a character and just run with it because we did it with all the women. It wasn't just. But anyway, I love your curds. So then they have the diving thing and then there's going to be an award ceremony that night. Okay. Did I skip stuff? No, no, I really don't care. Like this diving thing I refuse. I won't. Well, the thing that was funny about the award ceremonies that they needed a meal to dress up like a Greek god and once again kids like yeah, he'd be a great Greek god, you know, because he has a great body. So good. And she's so shady. I mentioned this last week, but she's saying, well, a Greek party is actually perfect for dawn. What's his name? The gay guy is perfect for Dean because the Greeks like sheets and grapes. I'm like, you know that that is a party about dick second. Just say it. It's like the Greeks were the first people who were sleeping with young boys and calling it recreation. So, tell the party it is. Yeah. Yeah, the the total party is fun. It's just the diving contest. I was like, no. So the total party, the most interesting thing to me was a meal kind of getting so insecure because they wanted to use him as a piece of meat and he's like, oh, do it. That only for that job. So he gets him his toga and I guess he has love handles. So he's paranoid. Listen, my favorite thing in the world is an insecure gorgeous person. Yeah, especially a man. A man that's perfect and gorgeous, but it's like, I'm fat. Oh my god, I got up. It's great. I got like a mental boner just watching that. Like just, I just want to save that scene of him feeling fat and then using the toga to cover up his love handles and then standing there awkwardly in his hands. I know he was really covered up. It was, and you know, you could tell he has insecurities because later on, like the next thing that happened was, you know, after Dean and then they all got off the ship. There was an issue with the toe line. There was drama. Maybe you should have let Don tie it to the side of the boat. Yeah, with a sticker. And then they left and they got a big tip to go back and miss this so the toe line toe line should be there should be done. Ah, the toe line up guess what, call the toe line up to my office not following the rules. Toe line. I'm going to have a work with it. Here's how it works on the boat. Yeah, so, so then Captain Lee is like, all right, everyone. Everyone's staying on the ship tonight. No, no, no, we're going to turn over the we got to turn over the app. So then, but then a meal decides he wants to ask Rocky out on a date. So he goes up to Captain Lee, but I love how I said you're going to steer this recap and here I am steering. You're wise. I mean, look where I steer us into every time a ditch of crazy. Like, what are you going to do? We're going to be here for 30 hours. So, a meal goes up to Captain Lee to ask for permission to take Rocky out for dinner and actually it was actually so sweet. A meal was like, so, can I take Rocky out for dinner? Can I take? So, can I? Can I? And Lee is like, oh, you want to take her out? And she's like, can I? Can I? So, can I? Can I say this? May I? And he had this big smile on his face and Captain Lee said, yes, Captain Lee's been very, he's been very nice to this crew. Like, if they asked for something, he's like, well, I guess. Because they ask, because that's all you need is respect, you know? Exactly. So, a meal and rock, you're going to go out on a date. All right. And so they get dressed up. The meal looks super cute. Really, really cute. Oh, that guy was in an ironed badly patterned shirt with us sweater tried around his neck. Come on, Ben. It was cute. Like, what if I get cold day on the date? You never know. He was nervous. He was nervous. Well, wouldn't you be? You had to be alone with Rocky? Jesus Christ. I mean, I don't know why he did it, but they should require body cams for all people who go on dates with Rocky. Yeah. Well, that, well, even though a meal, a stupid comment, a meal is like, well, I didn't go on dates because dates are for old people. Like, hmm. So, he's like, these days, you can give a STD to a girl for free. Why buy a dinner first? This is a free entrance man. Enjoy your HPV darling. That's right. So they go out to dinner on, I don't know, some restaurant, but we go like the purple con. They look so uncomfortable even holding a menu. When you're a waiter and you go, or when you're in service and you go to be waited on, it's so uncomfortable. Either waiters are like, oh, can I pour my own water? Can I? Yeah. Or they're like, fuck you, you did everything wrong. I would have had water on the table by mouth with the bread. Those people got asked before. It's one of the other. And those two are like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, fish. Well, a meal had no idea what he was doing. He truly has never been on a date before because, first of all, Rocky was calling the shots. And she wanted a meal to be the man. Rocky's like, well, I guess we'll have some wine and do you want a whiskey? You want a whiskey? Okay, we'll get a whiskey. We'll have a whiskey. But a meal is like, oh, I guess, I guess it's all right. And everything. And he could barely make eye contact. She was looking down at his menu. He was practically shaking. Whatever brand whiskey you have that makes my penis actually think it wants to be here. Thank you. That would be great. Whatever it's called. I'm okay. Great. Great Martin. He gives Skye whatever I forget. And then, you know, later on, he's getting really drunk. And then Rocky, I mean, she's throwing, she's giving him all the, she's setting him up. She's doing all the assists. She's leaning in for a kiss and he's so awkward. She leans in for a kiss with her lips puckered in that tight way, like when you have to kiss your sister on a dare. It's like a gross way. And then squints her eyes and he's wasted. He's like, what's she doing? She's trying to eat the steak right out of my mouth. And then he finally grabs her head to be romantic and is like, whoa. So, to be somewhere along the way, the sort of the thirsty, not the thirsty, but the pathetic, the sad elements of it shifted away from Rocky. Because it became, it went from Rocky being desperate to Rocky being like, oh my God. This guy does not know what he's got to do. Like, maybe I'll help him out. They felt like she was, it felt like a pity pucker, you know. Like, oh, he's not doing it. And it wasn't because he didn't want to. It was because he didn't know what he should be doing. Yeah, he was terrified. That was so cute. And when he finally goes in for the kiss, when he finally goes in for the kiss, he goes, he does the cheek and he does the other cheek. And then it looks like he's going for the real kiss and he goes for the forehead. Like a meal. What are you doing? I don't blame him. I'm sorry. Well, that girl, that girl, it's like making out within an entire terrible ensemble. Well, no, no, no. Oh, I agree about that. It's more like, I wouldn't have blamed him if this was all in the yacht. You know, but he asked her out on the date. So at that point, I'm your duress, though. I mean, he was cute and ask me for the day and she didn't make him, but it was, you know, even when he asked her, she's like, girl, he asked me on a date. I was visualized. I knew what was going to happen. And finally, he did it because I knew it was going to happen. Then it happened. Yeah. You can't like, you can't claim that creative visualization works while you're complaining about your job making beds. You can't. It's kind of like proving that it doesn't work. You can't. You can't boast about creative visualization when Bravo is like, hey, a meal, we want you to ask Rocky on a date. It doesn't work that way. And he's like, but my penis just hit the back of my throat. It's so terrified. You know what reality TV involves risks. Yeah. Did you ever see your factor? Did you see the things that they had to swallow? He's like, all right, I'll do it 15. He's like, I just have sex with him on the top bunk. And that way, not really have sex. There's not enough room for both of us, please. So, but that was before they didn't even get to the bunk because he got so shit faced and then Rocky's response is just to act for whacking. She's like, oh, I'm going to like here on the back. And then you can come after me. If you want to. And he's like, good night. No, he, she, he, she didn't even say you can come after him if you want to. She literally took her dress off and jumped into the ocean. You know, it's a bad. Right. That's right. It's not, you know, it's a bad date when the person you're with will actually jump into a body of water to get away from you. Okay, that's a bad date. And then later she comes up and then she just curls up on the dock and he tries to sort of pot her. She's like, I think I want some alone time now. Thank you. Bye. Yeah, I mean, that's a second clearance wreck target bathing suit. I've wasted on that guy. Yeah, I have, I have rules. It's bad when Rocky is rejecting you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. But me wasn't rejecting him. Are you kidding? She was like begging him to stay. He was like, oh, I cannot, nah, she's like, don't even know what to do. Then try and figure it out. He's like, whatever. And I was, I think she sent him away. I think the vibe was very much like, okay, you got drunk. You don't know how you don't have any moves. You may be hot, but you, this is a terrible day. So he was not coming under her. That was the last, that was the second time he's left her alone in a body of water dying. Love it. I think, but, but this was by her choice more. So while this was all happening, Alex P. Heaton, aka Eddie, was on the phone with his girlfriend with his girlfriend, his fake girlfriend in Canada, like on South Park. I have a girlfriend. She's in Canada. Well, we learned before this phone call even happened the night before he had forgotten to call her and he's like, oh, she's gonna be mad. So you already know they have a bad relationship where like, if you forget to call, like, if you have to call every single night. Then that's bad news that that that's gonna lead to drama. Okay. That's bad. That's not a good relationship. That's not healthy. Okay. Okay. Okay. So the funny thing is that I was assuming that their phone call was gonna be that she was crazy and he was gonna be modifying her. Nope. Well, she may be crazy, but he was an asshole. Wow. Yeah, I'm sure we're about to disagree on this. I feel it coming. Well, I don't even think that girl was real on the phone. I think that was bullshit. That was like one of those discussions you hear people fake having on their cell phone and they're trying to look all badass. And they're like, yeah. And then I told her and you're like, that's not even a real person. They're just trying to look important while they walk down the street. That's what it reminded me of. He's like, Rocky's off the boat. So the only other vagina here interested is Amy. So I'm gonna have some fake fight and be a man on the phone. That was just crazy. He's like, this is fucking ridiculous. And you cheated. And you deserve to make it up to me. You always have this thing like, well, I know the person who's actually on the phone is Andy Cohen feeding in line. I'm like, well, I basically, it's not that I am a conspiracy theorist, it's that I have zero trust in humanity. That's what it is. I don't believe anybody's a good person or that anybody goes through life without having horrible awful thoughts. And that's just it. I'm working on it. I mean, I believe I have your real conversation and the conversation that they were having was awful. Because she obviously is terrible because they're so codependent that if they don't speak on the phone one night, it's gonna cause a fight. And she's also terrible because she apparently cheated on it, which is bad. But then he's terrible because he speaks so condescendingly to her. She literally says on the phone, he's like, no, I need you to put in some more extra fucking work because you cheated on me. And then he's like, if you don't stop talking, I'm gonna hang up. Five, four, and I like he's talking to a child. I don't want I was like, oh, you are awful. I don't believe that a girl is gonna sit there and listen to that from some little man like Alex speaking. I believe it 100%. There are dysfunctional relationships out there that are, I mean, this is, oh, well, I know I believe most of them are, but I just, I don't buy it with him. I think he was faking it. Because why didn't we hear that girl, or, or I don't know, I don't buy it. I think he's lying to try and get the Amy's pants while Rocky's gone. I'm sticking with it. I'm putting it on Alex Jones, right? By the way, one thing the 9/11 post. One thing I want to mention before, because I don't think there's anything really left, but when a meal and rocky were on their date and they were getting up from the table, I love that the cameras caught a meal just staring at Rocky's breasts for a good three set, just staring. I got three, a three count. It was like, God, we are on such different pages. Yes, he was staring, but she was putting her Laura ash, her terrible Laura Ashley. Brested boobs right in his face like, no, I'm not arguing right, I'm not arguing it to me. It's like, oh, what is it, a flower, terrible flower pattern. I'm not arguing that. I'm not arguing that, but I just thought it was funny that he was so drunk that he. Didn't have he didn't have the ability to just sort of look at it fleetingly and sort of like without being like a total like slack jot saliva, you know, drooling. I was like, it was hilarious. The entire thing was hilarious. I think he was just like, I need another drink. Where is he? Where's my gray markers? Well, either way, not much happened on this episode, but I mean, I thoroughly enjoyed it. We didn't really, we were making it sound that like it was like, oh, whatever, but I really. Well, it was a Rockies episode. It was a rocky episode. So I just, I don't like her to me. It's just trying. I like it hard. I like when they're more real. I don't like, you know, even if they're fake real, I get its bravo, but. You know, I like ladies of London. I like because Marissa is really like that. Juliet is really insecure like that. Caroline's really a bitch. I don't believe Rocky's any of this shit. The only time I've ever believed one thing about her is when she's. Obsessing over Dick, which I guess is every scene, which kind of contradicts my point. And when she's sobbing on the phone with her dad. I have to try that. I want to make everything I want to do with a guy. I want to dress that you got me into your eye. Like, I just like, I was in the fetal position on the deck. This is what the bad, how many babies is to have to buy? Shut up. Shut up. That's what I say. I enjoyed it. I enjoy Kate being super shady. I have someone being nasty to Leon. It's all such a bitch. He's like, Oh, desert. How un-European. You're a European. I don't think it's a much fancier than, yeah, I don't do a theme pot. You just use frozen conk. Like, you're done to me. You're dead to me. Okay, eyebrows. I'm not listening to another thing you say. And then she's like, Well, hello, everybody. The chef has prepared you a delicious pudding with a strawberry compote. I'm like, that is jello gelatin straight out the thing on raspberry Smucker's jelly. You know it is. And he's like, Oh, fabulous. I haven't eaten like this since my trip. I don't even know where you go around the world because I'm too poor. I'm a maid on a boat. With this episode of so long, we didn't even get to talk about Amy training Rocky. I mean, come on. Yeah, I just was thinking about that. She's like, All right, well, you got to do is you got to fold the linens. You got to put the pill. And by the way, the stuff she was saying was pretty basic. She's like, if you see water spots, clean them. If you see a stain, clean them. If you see dust, clean it, Rocky's like, Whoa. I just need to really absorb this. Whoa. Well, it's too much. I just need to like, I need a minute. I just need a minute because she told me about spots on windows. And he's like, you know, okay, so when you're done with the toilet, look in the mirror. And if there's a spot, get it. People do not like looking in the mirror and seeing spots. Do not help the skincare industry. Rob people. Okay, clean the spot. She's like, I can't, I can't do this too much. It's too hard. It's too hard. It's too much. Anyway, well, anyway, that I'm out of gasoline. I'm out of fuel. I can no longer podcast. Is that a code word for patience? It is. And I wouldn't blame you, darling. All right, everybody. Thank you so much for listening to this. We love you next week live periscope Tuesday, noon Pacific. And then we will be doing our subscriber hangout, which you can find out on patreon.com/watchworkropans. Thank you to everybody you're supporting us there. And if you want to talk to us during the week and talk to each other about the shows. Or post your own articles, come over to facebook.com/watchworkcreppings. We'll be there. Yes. That's it. We love you guys. Love you guys. Talk to you later. Bye. Bye. If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the internet. The folks behind the sideshow network have watched a new YouTube channel called Wait For It. It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Elijah Schleisinger, slicing dragon friends with it for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there, and I still have a hard time with the last name, Liza. Our very own Owen Benjamin, that's me, takes you on a musical journey down Internet rabbit holes and much more. You don't have to wait any longer. Just go to youtube.com/waitforaccomity. There's no need to wait for it anymore. Because it's here, and it's funny. And I love you. On Monday, Josh Liebarger made his status, "Case of the Mondays," followed by a frowny face. It got one like in five comments, including dislike. 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