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(upbeat music) ♪ That's what shots, banjo rules ♪ ♪ Come and gather 'round and make fun of this course ♪ ♪ A podcast about problem ♪ ♪ No big runs with problem ♪ ♪ Perhaps I'm failing to get my problem ♪ ♪ Watch what crappins, watch what crappins ♪ ♪ Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappins ♪ (upbeat music) - Today's episode of Watch what crappins was brought to you by Premium subscribers, Claudia Catalina and Kristi Doherty. We love you girls. Now on to the show. - Hello, welcome to Watch what crappins, the podcast about all that crap we love to talk about on the brawbs. Hello, I'm Ronnie Caron from Trash Talk TV, and I'm here with a lovely talented, free drink gold star Starbucks earning F-U-T-O-G-O, saying Ben Mabelker at the B-T-O-G-O-G. - That is right, and I'm not gonna say F-U-T-O-T-O-G-O, because you know what, I went to Tiago this morning, and I was being a Hollywood person with my laptop out, and I had a full Tiago coffee, and then walked from Tiago to Starbucks, to cash in on my Starbucks reward, and then walked here, so I really did it all this morning. - Oh, wow, Ben. - Yeah, it's that on the street of guitar center in Samesh, and all those rock star hand prints on the ground, you got your drugs. - Exactly. - And place to the next. - Exactly, and in the middle of it all, I received a text from Casper Mattresses saying that my mattress is arriving today, I thought I still had three more weeks. - Ben. - Could you imagine if it arrives during the podcast? Oh my God. - You're gonna be so excited, you'll need a nap on your new podcast for Mattress, Ben. - Well, then I have to figure out what to do with my old mattress. - Uh oh, someone's gonna have a mattress on the street. - I know, I don't like when people, I don't like when people do that though. Maybe I'll put out a thing up on Craigslist, but who's gonna want to take my mattress even for free? It's like 14 years old. - Yeah, it's like begging for bed bugs. When you go on Craigslist for free mattresses, you're like, please, infect my entire family with bed bugs. - Yeah, I guess I'll just put it out on the street and call bulk pick up. - Yeah, there you go. That's a watch what crap and solution. You can find more of all solutions on the Watch what Crapins Facebook page, which is Facebook.com/Watch what Crapins. We're on Twitter @WhatCrapins. Come to Watch what Crapins.com for all our personal social media links. And to subscribe to the podcast, go to patreon.com/Watch what Crapins. That's P-A-T-R-E-O-N, patreon.com/Watch what Crapins. You can get bonus episodes and ringtones and hangouts and a bunch of fun, extra stuff being-- - Yeah, you should, it's great. - Yeah, it is. And thank you for everybody who goes there because those bonus episodes are so much fun. It's basically this talking about coffee addiction and mattresses and stuff. We actually had a really super fun episode on Tuesday that we did about VMAs and all sorts of other stuff. Various Bravo gossip items, but it was so fun. I had so much fun doing the bonus episode this week. And when you posted that picture of Miley Cyrus giving the double "Flip the Birds" after the story because I didn't watch a VMAs, so I just got it from your description and then seeing that visual along with it, you described it perfectly. - Thank you, thank you. I tried my best. It was seared into my brain. I don't know how I could not describe it perfectly. A stained glass in my brain window. - Don't crack it, Ben. Don't ever crack it. - Dude, I won't. I won't. Here in Los Angeles, it's getting a little chilly. This morning, it was chilly, Ben, did you feel it? - Oh my God, it was like 74 degrees out. It was so cold. - Yeah, people were in their parkas. - Yeah, they were. - It was really, it was like Periflor's hallway for her party, for her winter party. - It was a party. I'm freaking out about this cold winter weather. - This weather looks like yellow. Winter is not yellow. I grew up more and still winter was white. - I'm freaking out. So I actually like a cold September morning because my bedroom faces east, which means that the light comes pouring in and I don't mind the light. But what I do mind is sunshine, sunshine heating up my bedroom. And so I was very happy to have an overcast, chilly 73 degree morning. - Yeah, well it went from like crazy summer buy a new fan to cold. Everyone's in there. - Literally like we bought a new fan for "Watcher Crap Bands." We're like, we need more fans on this page. So we're just gonna buy some. It's summertime, let's just buy fans. Let's just buy them out, make a list of new podcasts. - Let's buy that Jill's Erin brand of fans on Facebook. - Yeah, exactly. By the way, I do have to say our Facebook page is starting to approach 5,000 likes, which is crazy because I used to always joke like, we're almost to 10,000. But we actually are almost halfway to 10,000. If we get 10,000 likes on Facebook, we will be the toast of all the PR girls. We'll be getting so many. - Is that a lot? - We'll be getting so many because like on Twitter, I always feel like people have millions and millions of, or like at least hundreds of thousands, you know. - Well, if we have, well, no, I think that if we have like 10,000 Facebook likes, I think that people might, like companies might send us free stuff. - That's all. - Oh, why do you need to say that, Ben? I would have been more excited. - Very self-interest. - Ben, very self-interest. - Oh my God, if I knew that, then I would have been doing a Facebook drive this whole time, Ben. - Well, because we're always doing drives for something or another, so I was like, you know, I mean, I don't want to drive our listeners crazy. Like, oh, by the way, could you guys like us on Facebook? Oh, could you support us on Patreon? Could you just, it's like that needy friend who doesn't like do anything for you in return? - Yeah. - Except, no. - Provide podcasts. - Or like PBS. They're like, if you subscribe at the $500 level, we'll send you these coasters with John Wayne's picture on them. John Wayne once sang "Around the Campfire." It's like, shut up, PBS. - Get your hands off my wallet, PBS. - That being said, if you would like to be a premium supporter of Watrocraft and skill, go to patreon.com and be like our two sugar mamas. I think they need a friend, guys, right? - The sugar mama boat. - Yeah, thank you, everybody, and we'll see you recently. So, speaking of our Facebook page and our social media, the best reason to go there is because of you guys. You post the best links. - Yeah. - And listeners like you, again, PBS. - Yep, Miss NDC at Love NDC on Twitter, of course. Hosted this amazing moment that Kelly, Bensomone, or Bensomone, I don't know, depending on who you are. - It's Simone. - What she did on Twitter. - Did you see it, Bens? She had a moment. - I saw that she had a moment and I was gonna go back and read it and I forgot to. - Well, luckily for you, Cindy C's on the case, Bens. - The C stands for case. Cindy, on the case. - I'm case case at NBC on Twitter. - Cindy C on the case reporting now for Watrocraft and Action News. - This is, this is case case with Cindy C. We're on the case so much that we see the case twice. She's on the case, next to the case, and around the case. - The case is. - Before there are two cases by C's on case case. Cindy C's what you're doing and she's on the case case. - So, she posted this, so good. - All right, Kelly, K, Bensomone, for all of the Real Housewives of New York fans at Bethany and I have filmed a few scenes. She attacked me for no reason. Our lives do not cross at all. We wish her wellness. - Oh, honey. - The royal wee. - And wellness. - We wish her fish oil pills. - Yeah, who says that? - Yeah. - We wish her wellness and she spelled Bethany wrong. She spelled it B-E-T-H-A-N-N-Y. - Oh, God, she double spelled it wrong because truthfully Bethany spells her own name incorrectly. - And I think the proper Bethany spelling is the B-E-T-H-A-N-Y. But don't quote me on that, people. You know what, we'll ask Cindy C's, she's on the spelling case, guys. - Two wrongs, don't make a Bethany, people, boy. Good to see Kelly, K, Bensomone, is still-- - Oh, there's 50 more things. - Oh, sorry, there's 50 more. This just goes on. This is a big screenshot, okay? - At Bethany, with a capital B now, but still spelled wrong, owes my family. - Wait, wait, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. So basically, all her tweets are going to the wrong person, someone, some random person is getting a huge amount of notifications from a random supermodel, okay. - She's like, my name is already spelled wrong and now I'm being online bullied by somebody I don't even know. - I'm being online bully by red squiggly lines. It's like, I can't write anything without someone putting a red squiggly line under the word. I'm like, that's so rude. I'm shopping. - All right, so Bethany now capitalized but still spelled wrong, owes my family and the real housewives of New York fans a huge apology. I hope what she did to me never happens to hurt daughter. - What? - What does she do to you? She told you she said she told you to go to sleep. - No one tell anyone to go to sleep. - Go to sleep? That's what she yelled at her on scary island. - She doesn't put periods after any of these. - By the way, as if to say like, I'm still going at all times. (laughing) - Just her senses run on just like her jogging in the streets of Manhattan. - Oh, traffic. - The next one is I can't fight the fans of real housewives of New York. I know the facts. I've filmed and had to endure the aftermath. I do not support bullying period, big period, with a period at the end. (laughing) - Double period, CC. - Watch a 100th episode. My family deserves an apology from Bethany and now it's spelled right. And now she's adding Andy and Bravo TV. All I can say is tune in 9/17 for @BravoTV episode. You may be shocked by the truth. - And I talk about everything at Andy. My girls endured so much after Bethany went on her smear campaign for the last five years. Girl, your lipstick went on a smear campaign. Shut up. She owes them an apology. Yeah, she owes her kids an apology for taking her crazy ass onto TV in the first place and exposing them. If you don't want your kids to be embarrassed, don't get all high on whatever you were on and then speak gibberish on TV, okay? - And then if you do, maybe like stop it afterwards because you're so crazy. - Yeah, stop it. Yeah, stop it afterwards. - I like that. - Well, real housewives of New York are so vicious. Enjoy the 100th episode at Bravo TV at Bethany was irresponsible with navigating a TV show. Time for me to let me ooh, but I think she might go. - Oh, why does it say go? Maybe it says go. - I like that she is both outraged at all these things that happen on the show and is simultaneously promoting the show. - Yeah, she's like, tune in to see how Bethany owes me an apology. - She's like, be sure to watch what Bethany apologizes and watch the commercials because that makes it more important. - Tune in to watch Bethany say awful things that will traumatize my daughter some more. - Please, if you at my daughter spell their names wrong and have some respect. - Stupid Kelly, stupid Kelly, Bethany. - I like that Bethany was navigating a show. She's like, what? Turned right. I said it to the point. I was like, Kelly, what are you doing? I don't know, why don't you turn right? Turn right. Who the hell does some turn right when someone tells them? Okay, make you turn. Oh, you're gonna make you turn right. - I mean, you want to take, do you want to take a highway? Do you want to take no highways? I mean, I don't know. I mean, you know, honestly, just like kill me right now. There's so many ways you can go. You can go left, you can go right, you can go straight. You can go straight, you can go straight, then make a left, then make a right, or you can go left, then right, and then straight, and then right, and then you're going on a circle. I mean, you're going in circles right now. Like, oh my God, you got to turn no, you're about to hit a wall, it's my wall. Oh my God, I'm gonna cry. - Pull over into the shoulders so I can take an app. - Oh God. - Do you want to pee? Let's turn over, come on, pull over, we're gonna pee. Everyone pee in the bucket. All right, get back in the car. All right, make a right, all right, and 500 feet, make a left, make a left, you missed your left. Okay, you know what, I'm sorry, I can't do anything, but honestly, kill me now, just stab me in the face. You just keep on missing your left earrings. - She'll make whatever car missed the rest up every single time, just so she can pee like somewhere in public, make a fetish. She's like, ah, rest up, up, we just pass it. Pull over to the shoulder, I'll pee there. I'll just pee on the shoulder. - Don't throw me a birthday party. - Yeah, seriously, seriously, has it reported ahead, okay? Has it reported, you know what, does it hazard? Oh, you know what, there's a hazard right there. You're just driving right into the hazard. Okay, I can't stop you right now. It's like, just shut up, shut up, it's a hazard, report it ahead. - Beth and Nina. - The location would just be ding, I don't know you. - Ding, ding, I don't know you, who are you? - That would be like ding, ding, ding. - So what's going on here, you make a left, you can make a left, okay, make a right. Okay, fine, don't make a left, you know what, don't make a left, make a right, see what I care, I don't care. - Look at me, I'm squatting on the floor, look, it's a vagina, I don't know, I don't know, where they come from, I don't know, vagina, on the floor, glitter pants. Maybe I am a know-it-all, okay, 'cause maybe I know-it-all, all right, let's make a left. - Well, the point of all of this is that Kelly deserves an apology instead of her children, and I hope none of this happens to your daughters. - I think we all deserve an apology, you know what, if maybe there should be a law that everyone just apologizes to everyone every day, so people would just stop caring resentment because everyone seems to want an apology these days. And you know what, they just get an automatic apology and they can move forward. - Yeah, I think Ramona's had the right idea the whole time. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, that's all anybody wants, you know. Okay, you're right, I'm sorry, you're right. I mean- - Okay. - I said in a horrible tone, like at least you're getting the words you need, you know? - Yeah. (laughing) - I'm sorry, Kelly. - Okay, Kelly, you have to calm down, okay? I'm sorry, you're acting up, okay? - I'm sorry, we're concentrating on the wrong things, okay? So I'm just like a hole, I can bet to me, told everybody. So, okay, let's put it to bed, okay? - Okay, Kelly, you're a beautiful girl, okay? You remind me of my own daughter Avery, okay? But you gotta calm down, okay? I'm sorry, it's day class A, I'm sorry, you know what, I'm sorry, I owe you an apology. - Let's say I love it. So, let me look because I wrote- - I have another brava of stuff, what do you have to say? - While you look, I have to say that Heather Wienz, Wienz, Wienz, I don't know, Heather Wien Stewart, Wien Stewart, Heather Stewart, wrote on our Facebook page, Heather had an observation just about today in general, because today the Keanu Reeves is birthday, and she wrote Keanu Reeves and Shannon Bador are both 51, which is kind of funny, it's kind of funny that they are in the same age, they are the same age, because I don't associate them together. Well, they both used to be like crazy rockers, she looked like she could have been in Bill & Ted's in those pictures that they show of her when she was like an 80's rocker. She's like, "David, David, why aren't you coming back in time with me, David? David, if I could go back in time, I would visit the moment that you met your mistress, David. Excellent, August." - David, are we in the Matrix? David, oh my God, David, why are you looking at that six, David, David, I want to live out of all the sixes that you've looked at inside that Matrix, David, because I will never use the number six again, okay, David? - David, I know Kung Fu, David, whoa, David, David, David, are you? - After you've done things wrong, that are sexual, please don't wear a black trench coat while you're walking out the beach, okay, David, David, get out of the Matrix, David. - David, why won't you let me fly? I'm in the Matrix, why won't you let me fly? David, David, are you an agent? Are you an agent? David, stop speaking that way. - David. - And they both matured, yeah, they both matured into much different people than their young party's house. - It is cutting all over the place, seeing everything at one time, both hungry and angry. - I would love actually to see David and Shannon act out speed where Shannon's centripoleic and David's counter-reaves. - Dear, if you don't mind, please don't drive below 55 miles per hour, otherwise we'll all explode while David's fault is not that you put up that there's a bomb in this bus, David. This is karma, David. Now we're in this bus and we can't slow it down and I'm driving really fast and I'm having a negative thoughts, David, you know what, I don't like driving fast, David, it reminds me of you, always fast on the wheel, David, loose, David, that's what they call you. Oh gosh, I've got to slow down. Dear, don't slow down, we'll all die, oh great, David, great, now we're all gonna die, great. - David, that's just another negative thought that I have to have, David. Here lies Shannon Bador, killed by David's emotional bus bomb. - My hungry eyes are acting up, David, we're gonna have to get me something. Now we're gonna go through a drive-through if we can't go below 50 miles per hour, David, David. - David, we have to stop the bus and get out for counseling, David, David. - David, I just went pee. - Dear, I think the terrorist is on the phone and he wants to speak to you about your driving, okay? - Don't slow down the bus below 55. - Who's this? Meghan? Meghan, would you put a bomb on this bus? Meghan? - Meghan? - Who's this? - Actually, I'm not on that bus, so I'm on another bus. And it was a totally different bus, holding a totally different school of charity kids. So you've got the wrong number, who says, "How dare you?" - I start buses. - I start buses. - I don't stop buses, I start them. - Oh Lord, you know it's a slow day on Bravo. We love you, Shannon. - Yeah, we're doing some Shannon Bador speed fan fiction, you know, there's not a lot to talk about. I'm like, are there any other movies you want to put Shannon Bador into any other Keanu recent movies? - I think, you know, you got to save some, babe, you got to save some for the next time. - I'm like, I don't know what else there is, I mean, I didn't see John Wick, I'm sorry. - Oh, babe, don't shoot your wad, babe. You promised me not to shoot your wad right after you were intimate with me, babe. On my birthday, babe. - I found out that on my birthday, David took me on a bus and then afterwards took someone else on a bus. David, David. - Both times they went really fast and you couldn't slow them down. Not only did he tune on me, he never learned his lesson, David. David, you promised David it would be different this time. - David, there's a chandelier in the street. David, you can't stop the bus. I'm going to have to hit it, dear, dear. I'm sorry I ruined the chandelier, I've ruined the bus, I've ruined everything, dear. I've been doing a lot of things wrong, dear, I apologize, dear. - What else do we have here, Kim Zolcek is going to be on dance and with the staff. - Well, I mean, that is hard, you're cute, look at your butt, let me touch you. - That is how she met Croix, that is how she met Croix in a fake dancing with the stars. - And I'm sure she'll mention that many times. - I didn't even think about that. - Yeah, and she actually said she knows Croix because of his butt. - Yeah, that's right, that's the first thing I think she said to him. She was like, "Look at that butt, wow, that's amazing. Let me touch it, let me poke it." Y'all, doesn't he have a nice butt? - So it's going to be Kim and Paula Deane, so really two of the brightest stars to come out of Georgia. - I hope they give Paula Deane a black partner, please. - Oh my God, I don't think, I don't think they actually have any black dancers on Dancing with the Stars, which is hilarious too. - Well, if ever there was a reason to get one besides, you know, equality and all that, or, you know, fair representation, it's Paula Deane, you know, on that Dancing with the Stars. - Yeah, yeah, I can't wait to see Kim wobbling around with a glass of sharpness. - She's got an R&A in one hand with like Mark Ballas, or whatever. - Stupid Kim Zolciak, stupid, stupid. - We actually already talked about this, but Cynthia kicked portion of the stomach. So yeah, I just had to bring that up again. - Yeah. - Oh wait, oh no, never mind. I got excited because Tracey Spacy from Austin, TX or the Hinterlands, she posted something saying that. - She doesn't talk like that at all, by the way. - She doesn't, but we, you know, our impressions have never, our impressions have never been striving for accuracy. Okay. - Yeah, that's true. Why should real people be. - Yeah. So Tracey Swacy, she's like, "Hey, y'all, I'm from Austin." Anyway, now I just made her Australian. - You're like this up on Below Deck, it's like a different accent every time you speak. - I know. - But you're well-versed, you're eyes, so it's okay. - She posted something about the other one, aka Bella Hadid, being in Victoria's Secret, but, you know, who cares, it's just the other one. - Bella, oh, it's so nice that Gigi got to do that naked shoot with Justin Bieber. You know, the other one is in her bra someplace, you know, she's showing her stomach, you know. I didn't let her eat more than one almond eater, so, you know, it worked out for both of them. You can't make a fabulous car out of different materials, you know. - Oh god. - Oh, Yolanda. - Yolanda. - New Real House wife hates Kyle, that'll be fun, because she has history with Faye Resnick. - Oh, well, who doesn't really? I mean, she's morally corrupt, let's not forget. - And Kim Richards, and Kim Richards' news, since I know everybody's wondering, target is safe, but Kim missed her hearing about the Beverly Hills incident because she hurt her butt. - I hurt it, I caught it in the door of a car that is passing when I was hopping over the freeway. - Yeah. - Catch that, get out of the road, trying to get home. - I thought I'd bust that gun go less than 15-5 miles an hour, and I hurt my foot jumping off. Sorry. - Do speed references for every single part of the podcast? - Mm-hmm. - I mean, that's gonna be the challenge, because we don't, because we have below deck and my Fab 40th this week, well, below deck was good, but my Fab 40th sucked. So I'm going to somehow bring speed into every single thing that we can do. - We gotta slow down, David. David, slow down. - No, stop! Stop it. Everybody just stop her. I don't feel good. I'm gonna take a walk. Anybody wanna take a walk? Let's hop over that thing over here. - She's like, why didn't this plane gonna take up? We've been faxing forever. Stop, Lisa ran into six of me, she's gonna kill me, but he's running, he's gonna kill me. Lisa ran is gonna blow up this bus, let's stop it. - And her husband's gay. - All right, so you want to talk about the shows, oh, no, no, one more thing, actually. - Oh, well, okay. - They offered her, oh, well, they offered Kim a plea deal that included 36 months of probation, 30 days of community labor, and 52 alcoholics anonymous classes. She did not accept the plea, because they wanted community service instead of community labor. Really bitch. - Oh, God. - Oh, God. - I'm gonna be on the freeway picking up trash. They're not gonna let me just hop over the meeting whenever I want to. It's just trash in the freeway, don't mess with Texas, what the hell? - Oh, God, in other just that thing, yeah, it's stupid, but Megan Murphy posted on our timeline that a Navy Seal is going to marry a former real house, I have a New Jersey Danielle Stob. - A former Navy Seal, it's probably an actual seal. - Well, I mean, that's like Navy Blue. It's like, oh, she opened her legs, it's like, I found a man, and he's like, oh, it's like, I smell fish. - They were right. You like a marriage happening now? Look, I'm married to the seal. It's a slippery slope. His name is Andre. - He's actually classier than every male on Real House with New Jersey. Actually, he burps us in Joe, both of them. - Joe's just trying to nail it, he's like, Joe's like, ehhh, look at that faggot seal. You know it's, you know, she's a beard. That shit is good, that's what it is. You know, that seal is also more articulate than anyone on that show. - Now, that would be a classy fucking your husband and the vineyard scene while everybody's having lunch. - Yeah. - Except you know she would, you know Danielle would be all annoying about you, put on her song. What was that song? It's like touching you. - Whatever. - Oh my God. - I can't decide if that was the most awkward, watch what happens thing or the Simon one. - I don't know what wins, but they're both burned into my brain. - Hey attention, please. This is like, ooh. - Oh, okay. We're already getting crazy. - What was the name of the book? What was the name of the book that Danielle Stobb was, was written up in. It was like, God, I think it's just a crime when any housewife and a book is put in the same sentence with the same bookstore on a shelf, anything else to realize. - It was the book that out of her as a former stripper, a cop without a badge that counted her as a former stripper. I love it that that's like such huge news when you're over 40, but now everybody's just like blowing people on the internet and then like Kylie, oh wait, I'm transitioning from Kim Kardashian blowing people on the internet, which is not fair because I'm about to talk about Kylie Jenner, who's not given blow jobs. So that was a terrible subject, but she was getting everybody to get those blow job lips right with a vacuum cleaner. And I'm already delirious anyway, this girl is starting an anti-bullying and self acceptance thing with the hashtag, wait, what is it? I'm worth it. Anyway, it's something like, I'm okay. I'm worth it. Something like that. And it's self acceptance, but she's changed her face like 20 times already and she's 21. Yeah. They're talking about Kylie, right? Yeah. Who did I say? I get confused. No, I think you said Kylie. I got distracted because my friend. How would you get confused with me? I got, okay. I'm so I got to try to be clear. I got distracted because my friend just texted me to say that Jermaine Dupree almost ran her over with a hoverboard. What? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Wow. You can't be real. It was a loose seal. You can't be reality being. This is what Los Angeles is like, by the way. We're here sitting here making seal noises for this is what we make a living off of making seal noises while a friend is getting run over by Jermaine Dupree on a hoverboard. This is what happens in Los Angeles. This is why the city is so weird because this is all this is normal. And while you were talking about Kylie Jenner, I should add. Yeah, no kidding. And also being a total asshole because as I scroll down the rest of that article, it's actually for such a good causes for a girl with a bone disease or something. So it's actually a really good cause. And I'm like, fuck that kid has self-acceptance with a plastic surgery and a blowjobs. Wow. It's like she's doing a good thing for the world. So I guess I'm, you know, I'm sorry because that was awful. Always read the entire article. You'll look like a dumbass. No, no one reads the whole article. Also, it's probably Jenner. I mean, that's just what you get for being Kylie Jenner, isn't it? Yeah. I agree. Punishment for being gorgeous and young and rich. All right, Kylie Jenner. You will pay for that. Oh, I guess, yeah, let's get to the show. What were you going to be getting? All my notes for below deck got erased. Oh, bean. They went overboard standing on top of the boat because it fries your brain. I've learned the radar fried my blow deck notes. Well, it's okay because I've got 37 pages of them. All right. Well, don't you worry because I have some notes on my Fab 40th. So don't you worry. I'm sure everyone is excited for that. All right. Let's get into it below deck previously, Kate hated the 90s, the chef moisturized and tried to be a contestant on shop. Yeah, his terrible fake drama is very chopped. Are you talking about the chef? Yeah, the chef. I don't like him. I think if he was on top, he'd be like, I've got two daughters and then he'd be, I need to win chipped because I got two daughters. Hi, don't you dare give him don't you dare give him Maljina voice. Don't you dare. You're giving him Maljina. If we're gonna really honor him and his true character, he has to have a different accent every time he talks because that guy can't decide where he's from. Okay. So anyway, Rocky was crazy. Rocky is. Rocky is so annoying. Yeah. She's trying so hard to be crazy, but for every moment that Rocky is crazy, for every instance that she's crazy, as an instance where Kate is magnificent, Kate is so funny on the show when she was, um, when, when I don't remember what part of the show was, but when the chef was like, so do you like me? And she's like, it's too soon to tell. And then she goes in the interview, she goes, it's too soon to tell you that I think you're super annoying. I mean, that was like some of the most amazing shade we've ever seen on Bravo. She's so good. Well, it opens with her. I've never seen anything like this in yachting ever, not how stupid it is. I mean, Alex P Keaton over there. Now listen, Mallory, it's going to fry your brain. That red ark could fry your brain. You know, you could be up there. It's like a microwave, you don't, you don't open a microwave door when there's a hot pocket in there. Okay. It'll fry your brain. Mallory. Little does he realize that her brain's already been fried by many radars in her life. Why do you think she acts the way she does? Kate's like, you know, I'm really not surprised at Rocky because she needs the attention, but a meal is really hot and he doesn't need to be doing that. Yeah. His sperm needs to get out of his penis. So if he went sterile, it'd be a real shame. Those jeans need to be spread radar, doing rocky a favor radar, doing a meal at the service. So Rocky comes down. They get them off the roof. The captain's like, I don't know if you heard my speech last week, but it was about where the fire exits were and how not to be on the roof of the boat. Okay. You're all going to get fired guys. We're going to get a plane ticket. And Rocky's like, if they could see me now, just like maybe by a way, I may be real nearby. But get off the mask, Rocky. She just answers everything in show tunes. Maybe this time I'll get up by the radar. Maybe this time I'll fall into the water. Better shine like the top of the Chrysler building. So then Rocky goes inside and she's like, I'm dizzy because like it's really hard for me to be inside doing stuff. I'm like, it's like, no, you're dizzy because you just were exposed to radiation. You've just fried your brain. I'm trying. You just fried your inner ear. Well, I love Kate though. I mean, Kate goes into insta, insta bitch mode for the rest of the episode with Rocky. She's like, okay, you're going to be a my new helper. All right. You're going to do this. And she just gives her all these meal chores and she's like, okay, I need you to clean out this this closet, but quickly, please, you know, like in a totally talking to five room, but you know, like quickly, you know, you can do it quickly, right? Can't you? Okay. That's good girl. Do it as quickly as you used to polish those force in the dinner theater. Okay. That's a good theater waitress. Please move. Okay. You know how people chew gum and then they get sick of the gum and they take it out of their mouths and put it under the table. Please go around to each table and when you're done, try and find the dried up buggers under the chairs. Okay. Okay, hun. You can do that. Can't you? Yeah. Rocky is like, this isn't what I'm here to do here to be a chef. I'm here to be a chef. She's like, listen, I'm very dedicated to becoming a chef and when I want something, I get it like, you know how I just climbed on the mask is because I was going to be a professional diver, it's like, uh, and you're not because you don't have any follow through. Like, you're still, uh, this girl makes me so crazy, not in a punch to TV kind of away. And I hope she realizes that if she gets knocked into the ocean just because she knows how to dive and land safely in the ocean does not mean that she's going to be safe. I mean, one of the things is that when you fall overboard, people don't know where you are. I guess more and more so at night, but yeah, oh, being stopped famous, so I see. I know. I know. And Connie is on an awkward call with her brother and it's like, brother, I can't believe dad is dead. Yeah. And then Connie's like, Oh, that sucks. Well, call me if you need me. Let's have beer. Yeah. Her dad was gross. Yeah. Yeah. You're kind of like, Oh, okay. I was like, Oh, yeah. And yeah, it was like, Oh, I feel like we're supposed to feel sad by this, but this is being handled in a very strange, unemotional way. Yeah. That was sad. Okay. So we're still with the same guest, the drunk people who want to be Smith. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, pee, pee. Yeah. He basically was like Ashley's dad from Princess of Long Island. Yeah. Might have lost that. Shaker. Shaker. Shaker. Yeah. Everyone's like, and Amy's like, Hi, there, you need a little hair of the dog, but you need a little hair of the dog. Okay. It's like, yes, Rocky, please swim to shore and get some hair off the dog. That would be great. Here's just a little bit black. This is a block to like Rocky cleaning a toilet. So good. Yeah. Yeah. And then what they go to the beach for a party, and the chef's like, Paella on the beach. Yeah. He kept going in Paella. I'm like, it's paella. Yeah. Paella. Maybe. And what was his problem too? He's like, well, I don't understand. They want to have a barbecue in the beach, but they also want paella. Like her, like paella normally is cooked on the spot. I'm like, well, then cook it at the beach. You motherfucker. He's like a fire on the beach. That's where my creativity came in because they needed it cooked on the spot. So I made a fire on the beach. I put some charcoal in a barbecue and I said, it's a new device. My art. Another inventive Bravo chef. Was this before or after the Guido guy was dancing behind Alex P. Keaton? I think this was before. Okay. All right. I'll trust you. You have you have that was back on the boat. Oh, I've got 10 pages in it. Do you wait? I mean, don't you worry. You're about to hear about the sea chills. They all picked up. I don't know, but by the way, if I were if I were a yachty, I think my least favorite thing would have to be like be bringing a barbecue set up or party set up to a beach. Every time they have to do that, it just looks like the worst thing in the world. Yeah. And you get sand in your food. You guys watch top shot, Frank. Yeah. Oh, yeah. We are on Bravo. Have some respect. I know. I wonder if they have an inflatable slide. I feel like they don't. I feel like that. I feel like the Steve would have requested the slide to come out. Remember last year, that was a perpetual source of misery for the crew. They're like, Oh, no, the slide. Yeah. It's either the beach party or the slide. Yeah. And now foam parties. I hope that's repeated like that sad foam party. Yeah. It's like an ankle deep foam party. And we had some Connie stuff that was really sad and she's like flirting with the meal. A meal likes everybody. So who knows? Yeah. But she's flirting with the meal on the beach. But then we got her dad's story about how he's drunk and stuff. And it was sad because I mean, obviously that's sad, but it was also sad because last week it was so funny when she was saying, you know, my kind of guy is the kind of guy that pulls up and is like, you want to be here? Get in my truck. Yeah. What was she saying? Yeah. She said, you know, what I like as if you say, get in my truck. Wanna be here? And then we go and like fuck behind a dumpster. Yeah. And that's had a good Connie shirt off or whatever. Yeah. It was so funny. And now it's like, oh, that's where she gets it from. She basically loves. She's like, I hate my dad. I'm like, girl, you are so attracted to your dad. No. Well, like daddy is in the daddy issues. Right. Exactly. Yeah. Meaning that like you like I hope she realizes the exact sort of guy that she's into is probably the guy that her dad was. I mean, her dad sounds like a loud. Yeah. And it actually sounds like she's a woman, like a smart woman, you know, she has daddy issues. It's like nice. It's actually strong woman on the props. It sounds like she probably has actually already grieved the death of her father many years ago, if that makes sense. Yeah. You know, sometimes when you see people like that, it's like, oh, my dad died, like whatever. You're like, oh, this person is in a state of denial. But I was like, oh, no, he sounds like he was absolutely terrible. Like it's not like a Bethany situation where you can see that Bethany still has not handled her issues. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's like, okay, we're good. Okay, we're good. So you beat me right from my mom. Okay. Great. Great. It was good talking to you. You know, I'm just glad we got to talk on TV. Oh my God. Yeah. And this girl's more just like definitive. But anyway, it's refreshing to see someone who's like dealing with her shit, you know, not just crazy. Yeah. I mean, we work really hard on this boat, but Steve's liver is working overtime. He is the ranking you guys crazy. He is one crazy man. I mean, no amount of offensive Mexican stereotype parties could satisfy this man. This man is correct. You know what working on a yacht is like, like working in crazy town. That's what it's like. It's like a tan on the water that's crazy. I wish everyone with my friend in crazy town want more people, my friend in crazy town. I got new hair. Come on. Where are you guys going? You guys, I put on a Mexican must stay as she Oh, why can't we be friends now? I'm one of y'all. Um, I was, what is this there? Oh, they cut back to the beat. Wait, are we past the beach? I don't even know anymore. Kate didn't do the case. Like I don't do these parties. Yeah. She's like, well, I'm going to go and we go and it's like, yeah. And Rocky is like, so Connie, uh, so you're like friends with her. You real friends with her. Connie is like, yeah, like we go have drinks together. We're from the same part of town. She's like, really? See, you're like friends with a batch. What's that like? Ah, she's good. Right. Well, yeah, Rocky is like, my relationship with her is going to be just, it's just purely platonic. I'm like, yeah, no shit. You guys aren't fucking, of course, it's platonic. You stupid idiot. He's platonic wrong. Gotcha. Rocky. Stupid. Yeah, but that is pretty stupid. Yeah, but it was, and then I think that Steve tried to kiss, uh, Rocky at that point. And she's like, yeah, girlfriend's right there. Oh, yeah, Steve was like, yeah, come on. Yeah. Wanted to kiss you. Come on. Remember, I was trying to kiss you. Yeah. Gracias. You look crazy. It's great. I'm not going to kiss you. Come on. Amy's like, oh, which, come on, and that way ain't trying to kiss me. Hey, y'all. Hey, y'all. I got two big cheeks right here, y'all. Anyone. Anyone. How about you, Emil? You like to flirt with people? He's like, sorry. Bored and flitted with corn. I like flirting with Joey but a few go. Um, I like also how Rocky's like Kate thinks she's punishing me by petting me here on the island. I love being outdoors. I was like, come on. It's like, any time she feels like a breeze on her face, she's like, oh, it's the outdoors. Ah. That director thought he was punishing me when he put me in the chorus, but I love a group scene. I love a group scene. Didn't get me, director. Oh, what a beautiful morning. Oh, what a beautiful day. Oklahoma, anyone. I got a beautiful feeling, everything's going my way. Ah, please get off the ship. Please get off the roof. I've told you, I've told you already, please get off the roof. Thank you. There is a cabaret singer up by the radar. There is a terrible ensemble person who's a staple of a old dinner theater on the roof of the boat. Please get her down. Oh, so yeah, I want to kiss, I want to kiss his girlfriend with his girlfriend. Which one was his girlfriend? Because there was the one that was trying to sleep with Alec P. Keaton later. That was the girlfriend. That's her, right? She's like, oh, why are you saying you want to kiss her in front of me? Oh, kiss him. Kiss him. Why are you not kissing him? I'll make kiss you with him. Would you like it? I would like to make an order of a kiss from my husband. I was like, oh my God, back down, lady. It's like, I want to see her pee, honey. Yeah. Yeah, honey. Yeah. Yeah. We'll stop over a billionaire's island and know what a billionaire is. And we can pee there. Yeah. Pee-bee. Pee-bee. Pee-bee. Let's invite Alice Smith on this. Let's invite Alice Smith on this. Yeah. We can all be together. Yeah. This stuff's like, sorry, go to go playing, Tina. I'm going to cut things into really magical shapes because it's with shifts, too. Glue makes a mixed skin on her hair pasta, I don't feel hair. I did look delicious. By the way, I think this guy's food looks amazing. He's annoying, but his food looks great. So does his skin and his eyebrows. I don't think his skin looks great, to be honest. Really? So well moisturized and exfoliated, Ben. I haven't noticed that. I feel like a meal looks like he's got soft buttery skin. Will a meal's 20? I mean, like, come on. You can't give someone the prize for better skin when they're 20, Ben. I won the prize for better skin. Yeah. You have to do it by age. It's like the idea of an award. So then, I don't remember-- And he's like, are y'all done? Are y'all done on the beach? He's all sent to Tinder. I mean, whenever I'm on there, then it responds to me. But hopefully, they'll come because of you guys, because you're a billionaire and all. It's like, poor Amy. You can't even get a regular Tinder to work. Oh, I mean, Amy. Rocky loves being outside. Blah, blah, blah. Captain in a sombrero. Wow. Don-- oh, so this is where Don was air-humping Alec. Is it Alex P. Keaton or-- Hey, I'm Ryan Reynolds. Recently, I asked Mint Mobile's legal team if big wireless companies are allowed to raise prices due to inflation. They said yes. 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Download the Instacart app and get delivery in as fast as 30 minutes. Plus, enjoy free delivery on your first three orders. Service fees and terms apply. [INAUDIBLE] [INAUDIBLE] [INAUDIBLE] I'm here. I'm here. I'm sorry. I momentarily fell overboard. The radar pushed me into the ocean. Yeah, no keating. What the hell happened to you being? I was-- I just-- I don't know. I think I must have had some-- my connection was fried by the radar. So is it Alec P. Keaton or Alex P. Keaton? Is Alec, right? I think it's Alex P. Keaton. Alex? Alex P. Keaton? Yeah, so this is when he's like, yeah. And all I want is for everybody to follow the rules. So let's just follow the rules, right, guys? And Don was behind him like, yeah, yeah. Like, air-humping him and stuff. Yeah, and by the way, it was a little sexy, I thought. Because he can really-- he can move his booty. He can. You'd love that, like, that trainer, that trainer look. Yeah. He looks-- whenever I see someone who looks like an obvious trainer and they work that hard and it looks like they should wear a 24-hour fitness shirt, like a trainer trainer, I don't like that. Because I don't like what people are trying to sell me stuff. And I hate that they're always like, hey, brah. Hey, hey, brah. What are you doing today? Well, they should never open their mouth. They should never open their mouth. Yeah, they can't open their mouth. No, yeah. But other than that, those bodies are machines, Ben. Didn't you watch last week? He's a machine. Yeah. So anyway, he was humping him in a meal. He's like, he shouldn't do that to the both. Yeah, he's disrespectful. That's what I love. Because a meal-- because he got into trouble, he kind of-- he decided to channel his embarrassment into, like, going after Don. And he's like, people don't do that on yachts. People don't do that on high-end yachts. I would never do that. It's unacceptable. We're not working on a pickup truck. We're working on a yacht, man. Yeah, he's like, we're not on a dump truck. This isn't a dump truck, OK? If it were a dump truck, if this were a dump truck, would there be a radar that you could climb up to? No. Is it yachts? And if this were a dump truck, you also would stink the most, because you just drink six eggs for breakfast. Oh, god. Who does that? No, seriously, who does that? That's gross. It's working for-- Put that shit on board, all right? If you're drinking six eggs for breakfast, it's too hard. You have some kind of insecurity. Yeah, exactly. And he's like, he looks all pained while he does that. Don't look pained. You got a chef on board. Let him cook those for you. It takes-- honestly, you can cook them up in two minutes. Yeah, but who wants to eat that many eggs every-- I don't know. I have three to four eggs every morning. When you're that big, you know, like me being, you've got to just keep that protein coming. It's like all the eggs, eggs, eggs. What do you want for breakfast, eggs? What do you want for lunch? Eggs, snacks, eggs, snacks, eggs, middle away for eggs. Everything eggs all the time, Penn. That's my life. You know what he needs? He needed to countess Luan on there to make him some eggs. Alephron says, would have changed everything for him. She shows up for the plate. I made you eggs. Alephron says, this chef would do that. He'd be like, I stir the eggs and never stop stirring them. Now, look at them. Alephron says, or he pronounced it wrong, though. He'd be like, Alephron says, no, no. I like that he demands people to look at them. Look at them. Now, look at them. There's stupid eggs. They started out all raw. Now, look. I never stopped stirring these eggs and they are still in the shape of triangles. It's a white one. [LAUGHTER] I put some spaghetti in there, some egg spaghetti. By the way, I've had, believe it or not. So they got a-- so they got in like a weird fight about it. And Don's like, I'm an engineer, man. You're out of line. I engineer things. Have you ever used a protractor, man? Do you even know what that is? Yeah. [LAUGHTER] I know how to use a compass, both navigational and for geometry. OK. I'm an engineer. Have you ever used a calculator? It's like, don't call me out, man. We're going to be on this boat a long time. Sometimes we're just going to have to fuck each other's butt in the air, all right? We're going to have to air fuck each other, man. That's just how it's going to go. We're going to climb up to that radar together and just fuck ourselves. We'll just climb on and go around until it fries our nuts off. If I did what I wanted to and actually boned him in the butt, you can't just go around doing that on a boat, man. We'll be full of maid babies before you know it. Be like a maid baby factory in here, man. Just air hump his ass, man. How about you and me when we get to land? We find a dump truck and go just fuck our brains out in it. I don't know. I don't know what I'm saying. David, can I go slower than 55 hours per hour? David, David. So he makes that Mexican spaghetti weird. And everyone loved it. So anyway, let's get to that, because this is too much about this. So they go to-- I mean, I'm not even halfway through the notes. And by the way, I'd like to say I thoroughly enjoyed the episode. Yeah, I do, too. If our lack of statistical recapping right now seems to indicate otherwise, I was like cracking up entire episode. I loved it. Yeah. It was a fun episode. So let's just get to the juicy pots. So they're on the beach already, so they get to go party. And the bat made dresses, all of them, especially Rocky. She was wearing a lace, dorily tight dress with a knot matching flowery Mrs. Roper robe. Yeah. And still got the most ass out of anybody else. And she cocked blocked Connie, who was flirting with a meal that she came up. She's like, oh, well, you're obviously flirting, so I'm going to come from a back rub. Oh god, that feels good. I need a massage. Let's go get-- let's go massage each other. Make it in the house. Poor Connie was like, uh-- Yeah. She also, Rocky, was working on her best to get into Alex Bekeaton's path. Pants. She's like, oh, you have a girlfriend? Oh my god. That's so funny. Rocky just needs attention, basically. Like, you don't always have to get it with a penis, but hey, she already tried dancing on the mast, and look with that gutter. Yeah. Yeah. So she then kept torturing her, which is really funny, because Rocky's like, my mom, the way I grew up, my mom-- she says Aloha all the time. Yeah. And that means love, and I've never felt Aloha from Kate. It's like, shut up, Rocky. And then Emile ditches her, and she's left alone in the hot tub. He never shows up to the hot tub, and she's like, a loaster baiting. A loaster baiting. Aloha, Rocky. Aloha for you. Aloha, you, Rocky. Aloha, you. How do I get you Aloha? [LAUGHS] [SINGING] I think we're Aloha now. [LAUGHS] By the way, I'm so glad that no one really important listens, because we've had a lot of licensing re-infections this episode. I don't think you get a licensing infraction for singing a tune. Do you be in like a line of a tune? Well, they may be like, please don't ruin our melodies. The way you are. Stop sullying it with your attempts at singing. Who is ever going to convict you when they hear, I think I'm Aloha now. [LAUGHS] There's no jury in the world. Anyone around? Hound. I used to love this song. Now, around this point, I think that Kate decided that she wanted to switch rooms, switch out of-- she didn't want to be with What's His Face? Leon. Anymore in the room. And I like her reasoning. And she goes, I may have a bitchy resting face, but he has, at least I don't have annoying resting personality. [LAUGHS] I love it. And she's so right. Yeah, that guy's terrible. And then they show him, like, hey, we share a bathroom, and that's great and everything. But would you mind squeeging it when you get at? Like, I'll leave a squeegee, and then you can squeegee the shower. And she's like, no. No. Job won't be squeegeeing the shower. Yeah. She's like, I clean up everyone else's bathrooms. I'm not going to clean mine. We also got a shot of a meal masturbating bandit to get that. Oh, yes. When Rocky was trying to bone him. And she's like, let's me in the hot tub. And he's like, oh, I'm going to bed, because I know they own a boat, whatever, and he went to bed. And then they show the blanket jerky. Oh, I didn't pick that up because that's right. Because they said he had not a flashback, but they put a voiceover of someone saying, next, Rocky's going to try to lead you down a bad path. And when she does, you've got to think of a way to deal with it. Oh, I didn't realize he was jerking off instead. Oh, that's so good. And then they show him jerking off. But the music is like, duh, duh, duh. It's like the anchor's about to go down music. Yeah, they should have cut to the anchor, just dropping, you know? Aloha. That was funny when they showed the captain, though, because it was just a little circle with his ghost face in it. Like it's dead, you know? He's like, Rocky is going to try to lead you down a rocky path. It's like him jerking off in the bed. Yeah, it was definitely-- It was the stuff that end the stars, for sure. Rocky cradling herself like she's cold in the hot tub. Oh, it'd be cold in a hot tub. She puts the hoe in Loha. [LAUGHTER] ♪ To my row, to my row. ♪ ♪ A meal will join me to my row. ♪ ♪ You're only a man. ♪ ♪ A man. ♪ ♪ A la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la I imagine that Reza's feel, say, or they're married now. So Reza's husband Adam is probably so turned on this episode because there's nothing more tame gay than a jerking off under the blanket fetish. [LAUGHTER] It's probably like, I'll bet that guy's not even wearing underwear under his underwear under that blanket. [LAUGHTER] Tame gay. #tamegay. That was it, right? So she's going to change room-- oh, Rocky had a breakdown. She's like, "This is not what I meant to do with my hair." Yeah, she started crying. Well, the best was because Kate was really writing her, Kate was like, "You should be thanking me right now. I'm teaching you how to do things. You should be so honored for this opportunity to learn how to be a better stew." And Rocky said, "I just wish there was a checklist where I could just say, "Okay, just do this, this, this." And she's like, "Well, that tells me you don't want to listen to people." I was like, "Ooh, Kate's got your number. You better be careful. Kate is meeting you." Because that's exactly what she's saying. She's like, "I need a list of things to do, so you can't just adding things to a list. It's not even there." She's like, "This is how you do it." And Kate's like, "No, you don't get a list, bitch. That's just what comes out of my mouth. That's the list." She's like, "Okay, here's the list. Okay, item one. Do this, do this, do this, do this, do this, do this." Item two, repeat. Item three, crying a bathroom. And then clean up your tears. Item four, make fun of Amy. Meanwhile, we should say that Kate did wind up swapping rooms. Alex Bekeaton moved in with Leon. And you know what? I think Kate had a point because she did have to... The fact that she was not bunking with Leon, they were next to each other with their beds. And every time they cut to Leon in that room, he was always on his side, looking up with his arm over his head, so his armpit. His armpit was always out and exposed to the world. And if I were Kate, that's his hot side with his arm above his head. It's like, "Dude, it's your fucking armpit." I know that it makes your skin sag less around your underarms. We get it, but stop. Please stop. The rest of us have to deal with that all night. Find a better best look. What's your second best angle, all right? Stick with that one. Darling, seriously. This is about Leon. Well, it looks like Leon... Looks like there's an issue with Leon next week, right? Who cares? But there is Pina's pillow. Oh, yeah, that guy's back. Pina's pillow. The guy's back for like the third time because he came back to do his twice last season. She makes a nice big Pina's pillow for him again, which is really funny. And then hopefully Rocky will break down. And then Don yells at the captain or something. And then Don jumps in the water. Jumps in the water. Yeah. Crazy man. I mean, that is just crazy. You're jumping off a boat to go swimming in the water. You're supposed to be working. Haven't you read the rules of yarding? The captain's going to be like, "Come on, guys. Let's have a meeting about rules there. Here's the rules, guys." Someone's got to get a one-way ticket home. Mm-hmm. And Southwest isn't cheap. I don't want to do this. You know, they've really gone to shit that airline. But here we go, guys. Rules. Yeah. My fat 40 years. Ben. What do you think of my fat 40th means? Oh, my God. Okay. Oh, by the way, here's another text I just got from our friend Sylvia. She says, "Apparently, Ron Jeremy lives in the condos next to my apartment building and likes to parade around on his deck naked. I learned this this morning." So, that's the news from Hollywood. And look how fitting it is with our show, Ben, because we were just talking about our best angles. That's right. That's right. Jeremy's just showing his best side. It happens to be six feet tall and in the middle of him, Ben. Oh. So, my fat 40, last week. You know, I didn't think it was great last week, but it was funny. You know, there was this crazy party planner. These two women was like, there's a Rachel Dratch. There were certain erotic things. Everything went wrong. And there was a lot of stupid crying about things. Yeah. But it was entertaining enough. And there was, Serena was a crazy party planner. This week was awful. Ladies and gentlemen, train. By the way, can we talk about the lowering of standards? Like, on below Jack, it was like, where is pining for our smith? Between our smith and train. I mean, what's next? Evan and Jaren? It's like fishing in a, like, quarry pond outside a Chinese restaurant. Like, come on, guys. Go to a bed of pond. I know. Like, you're not even catching these fish. That's what's so sad. They're like, we're going to say your name on Bravo. And they're also miss like, yeah. You know, there's like a continental breakfast in the morning at the hotel. So we're just going to, like, go to bed a little early. Okay. Yeah. Next week, it's going to be like, oh, my God, for my 40th, I just really want CC Penison to show up. Like, you know what? I'd really love some iced tea. I would love Club Nouveau. Does anyone know if Club Nouveau is doing anything right now? You know what songs really always got me? What is love, baby? It's How Do We? Is How Do We Available? Can we come up with y'all? Yeah, yeah. It would make my life if I could hear that live. Just like whoever. I think that in general, the standards lowered as, like, the theme of the show. Because we've already got my sweet 16 or had. I don't even know if that's still on. On MTV, where it's these 16 year olds acting like little bitches. And they're like, dad. I want you spending millions dollars on my party. And they're like, yeah, my life is going to be amazing. Because I'm a princess. And it could be like this awful, they're usually awful. But like, there's just this awful monster of a girl, you know. And she's like, yeah, I rule the world. And then at 40, it's like, oh, you can't get trained, but you got a weird opera singer. Okay. It's like just the I gave up. Like, did you, did you, is maybe Joan Osborne around? Like, oh, okay. I can't spend a million dollars. Okay. I'll spend like 50,000 then. Yeah. It would be fine. Yeah. It's definitely a lowering. I mean, honestly, this episode began with this woman, Brandy. And she wants to have her birthday in Fontana. Okay, so that's already describing everything you need to know. All right. She wants to have her birthday at the racetrack that we saw. Megan King Edmonds and all the women go to on Real Housewives of Orange County last week. Yeah. So this episode, by the way, this episode of my epip 40 was dreadful. I can't even believe they had this the second episode of the season. It was so boring. There was no conflict. The entire arc of the episode was that this woman has been dating someone for six years and was hoping that he proposed her. That's all. That's nothing went wrong. The flowers were a little late and nothing else went wrong. Yeah. So the episode began. It was like, we were learning about this 40. She's a fitness model and she loves country. And she's like, Karen Waldrop is going to perform at my birthday. Where the fuck is Karen Waldrop? Yeah. Is she a realtor? I don't know. I don't know. She was she was cute and she was only three grand, which. Yeah. I mean, like the entertainment at the last party was a lot more than that. And it was just like weirdos with flashlight dances, you know? I mean, Karen Waldrop costs less than a fog machine, basically. It's like, we're going to have a foam party for this episode, but it's stuck on a boat somewhere. Yeah. So then, so then, so Brandi has this best friend named, I don't know what her name was, but she. Beth. Oh, you're right. Bethany stole directly. Oh. And so she's like, Oh, here's the, I made check out these invitations. They're so great. It's like this giant chunk of glass. It's like, you're invited to Brandi's 40th birthday party. I mean, it's not even like the gold cup. It's the black that you win for last place, like my family got on the bowling league. You know, it's like some awful embarrassing one that you get for like being the loser. Because this is the 40th. The 16 year old would have had the gold cup. Yeah, it looks like it looks just like a trophy, except it's an invitation. So who's going to keep that? Like, Oh, I'm going to put this invitation on my, on my mantle. Because it's a big, it's just all going to get thrown out. It's a big, no, it's a waste. Yeah, there's going to be a lot of homeless guys trying to sell like plaques on the side of the street. Um, so then I wrote seven minutes in and nothing has happened on the show. So, and then, and then the brandy, brandy's big thing is that she, she has a variation on the Kristin. Um, Kristin from Vanderpump Rules thing, you know, whereas Kristin goes seriously, seriously. Brandi, her whole thing is, she goes. So seriously? Oh, yeah. You're looking at the dresses. So seriously? She also does the, um, blood, sweat, and heels thing where she goes, it's a big deal. My 40th birthday, it's a big deal. Like, this is a big deal. Like, I've really wanted to be somewhere else in life, you know, and like, part of being 40 is like having a husband and being able to afford to raise your children. I'm like, why is it so, please lady, like, why is it that you're 40? It's not even like, I love him so much. It's like, I want him to take care of me and my children. We have dated for six years. I'm like, come on, lady. That was like the meat of the episode is this lady waiting for this man to propose. It's never going to propose. Yeah, she was just like a sad, a sad figure. She's a fitness model that's aging out of her industry. And she's like, you know, it's really hard to compete with a younger fitness models, you know, because I got kids and I have obligations. Like, and you're old. And that's okay. Like, it doesn't need to be that sad just because you don't have a man. Like, why can't it be, I'm so proud. I'm turning 40. I'm supporting my own children. I don't need some man. I've got some hot piece of ass because I don't need some man. You know, instead, she's like, well, we started dating right when I was divorcing. We've been together six years and, you know, I think it's time. I need a ring. That's it. You know, what I want from my gift is a ring. I want you to propose because it's time. And he's like, well, babe, I mean, I really don't know. I've been honest. She's like, no, we've never even talked about it. I'm sure. And after 20 minutes, it was still going on. I'm like, are we supposed to care? Are we supposed to care at all if she gets married? Like, we just met this woman. She seems kind of sad. Do we like, I have nothing invested in this. I don't, I don't care if she gets a ring or not. In fact, I hope she doesn't get a ring. I hope she gets nothing. But I'm sad watching her like literally beg for a ring. And it wasn't like fun and it wasn't like entertaining. It was just like, oh, here she is again. And like every scene, every scene came down to it. When she went to get flowers to pick out flowers, she starts crying. She's like, the last time I picked out flowers was like the first time I got married. I'm like, have you, you've not gone to a flower shop in like 20 years? Is that what you're telling me? I mean, this is, come on now. But it wasn't even about the first minute. She's like, the last time was the first time. And you know, no, I just want to get married again. Like, will I ever be in a flower shop? It's like, shut up, lady. Shut up. Shut up. Just get your stupid marigolds and get out of there. She's like, yeah, looking on my friends, like they have what they want. They spend their money and they like, you know, do this and that. And then of course they show the guy and he's wealthy. Of course, like this huge, like, tacky Adobe McMansion thing with like an archway for a dump truck or whatever. And of course, he's like Michael Fish. He's got Michael Fish. And he looks like he's taking fashion cues from Michael Bay. I was actually kind of thinking Lorenzo Lamas so it was fitting that he showed up. Yeah. Yeah, it was. I was like, that's a Lorenzo Lamas. And I saw his reality show. He actually is Laurent. So it's like a double, double Laurent CC. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Let's see. So then we met some of Brandi's friend, including this, her Asian friend, Tolan. Why she's Asian doesn't matter. I don't know why I said that. But I just felt like articulating, differentiating her from the other ones. And Tolan did the only thing that was interesting the entire episode, which is that she spilled wine on Brandi. I was like, thank God. Someone's got something on this girl. Get her a shut up for one second. She's like, Oh my God. It's a sign. I've got wine on me. Does this mean I'm going to get a ring next? Oh, does this mean I'm going to get a wine on my toast? I think he's going to wake me up with breakfast in bed that's toast wine, wine toast. So French. I love how like the association doesn't even match up. Like, Oh my God. He spilled on me. That means that Tolan spilled on me. That means I'm going to get proposed to next, right? Tolan's down on a knee, wiping me off. That's total sign. He's going to spill out a proposal, right? He's going to stain me with his love. Is that what this means? Does this mean his love can be taken out with a little bit of soda water? Oh God. I'm worried now. I'm worried. Okay, wait. No, I actually lied. Now something actually super cool and exciting happened on the episode next. So this is great. I mean, I was like, okay, finally we have some real drama. Brandy then took her daughter to a place to sew. Wait, what? They did? Yeah. I was probably adding something at that. No, I was being sarcastic. I wasn't excited at all. Because the way I was watching the show from the middle on, I was like, rah, Facebook. Yeah, me too. I was like, wow. They sewed something. That's great. They went to basically like a color me mine for sewing. And so Brandy's like, today I'm taking my daughter to go sewing because I love my daughter. I'm like, really? This is like, they're just like nothing. There's nothing. I wanted to take them to12. But we don't have enough money unless this guy marries us. So I sure hope for my birthday I get a ring. I wanted to take her to this place. So that way I could say so seriously, even more. It's like great. Nothing more exciting for primetime TV than watching a little girl sew something. So they went to shop for the ring. Yeah. Wait, no, I think they were. Do they do the dresses first or the ring? Does it matter? No, 'cause I think I took the dresses scene as part of the scenes where she was just randomly crying. I think I montaged that one. No, no. She was crying. But you, whatever. You can talk about the ring stuff. Oh my God. This dress reminds me of, you know, being 40 because if I was 40, I would be able to text my husband and say, do you like this dress? But I mean, I just can't text a boyfriend that. Yeah. So anyway, so the ring. You know what? Oh, you know what? By the way, it was inner cut. I think it was inner cut, by the way, the dresses and the ring, 'cause it was the ring slash car, right? Oh, God. Oh, well, then, yeah, yeah. It turned into, I don't know whether they have a conversation where she's like, he said, "What do you want for your birthday, babe?" And she's like, "A ring, marriage, commitment." You know, like, "I want to know that I'm not going to die alone and that my kids are going to be able to go to college, maybe." And he's like, "Well, today's your lucky day. Here's a DVD copy of the ring." She's like, "Great." He's like, "Don't watch it or you'll die." Happy birthday, babe. She's like, "I'm going to crawl out of your TV and demand that you marry me." When you watch the ring, you get proposed to-- Would you rather have a car, like a race car, 'cause you're a race car driver? And she's like, "No. Can I put a car on my finger? Is my car going to pay for my kids to go to school?" No. The only vehicle I want is a street car or a trolley, 'cause it goes a ring ring. That's that one up. Sorry, everyone. I said street car instead of trolley. I just want an old-fashioned phone, okay? That's all I want. I want rings all day long. Just give my number to every telemarketer in town, okay? I just want rings, rings, rings, rings, all birthday long. He's like, "Oh, you know, I don't know that I'm really ready for marriage." He's like, "Stop sending me mixed signals, okay? We've been together six years. You've known for six years." He's like, "Yeah, but I, like, said, I don't ever want to do that again." She's like, "Whatever. I mean, that was six years ago. Like, come on. Be honest with me." He's like, "I don't want to marry you." She's like, "Get the flat iron out of your ass and marry me already." If you don't propose to me, I'm going to throw your flat iron over a cliff. And then you'll never have perfectly flat iron hair ever again. You're going to spend the entire rest of your life ironing your own hair. Well, let's see how that works out for you. When you start burning, you're wrinkly ass scap. Like, yeah. Good luck looking like Steven Weber then. [laughter] It'll live forever on cable. What was the guy who was on 30-something? That's sort of what he looks like. Uh, I think he looks like the guy from Wings. Isn't that who you're talking? Yeah, Steven Weber. But there was a guy who looked like Steven Weber who was on 30-something. Steven Weber's been on everything. He really has. I love Steven Weber as Charles and Charred. [laughter] What? [laughter] Because he's been on everything. No. ♪ Charles in charge of my days ♪ I'm like, "Get me a ring!" [laughter] Charles, I want to ring Charles. Peter Horton is what I was thinking of. He actually looks like Peter Horton. Charles and Charred is nice to my children without marrying me. Um, I am. So anyway, so she's meanwhile, she's brandy is speaking out dresses. And all she's doing is speaking out dresses. And last week, during the dress scene, the scene was the least sort of funny about what looks good. Looks good or not good. And the party planner and this or that. Ladies! Ladies! Ladies! ♪ Dreams are a-choo-ching down the runway ♪ ♪ Girls! ♪ I have great news. Donatella Versace is here herself to present dresses for you. Donatella, won't you come in. So sorry, ladies. Instead, we have a homeless lady. Come on in. [laughter] Jamela. Donatella had trouble at the curb. Mmm. She couldn't make it, but we've got the next best thing. A skateboarder, who's new. [laughter] This was $2,500. Catching piers, baby. Fierce. We have some insurance issues. We're Donatella. Donatella. So instead, we have mood skateboarder. Come on in. His name is Skye. [laughter] [sighs] So anyway, so. It needs to be about that lady. Yeah. It needs to be like a millionaire matchmaker, but with that crazy lady. Exactly. And the thing is that since Brandi's friend Bethany was one, putting together the party, it wasn't interesting. It was nothing exciting. It's just like, do you want to talk about anything? Okay. Are you sure you don't want to talk? Because I've got little race car, sugar cubes, and people can drop them into their vodka and it'll taste like race cars. Okay. How are your feelings about that? Do you want to talk about them? I know that you're alone, so if you want to talk. Yeah. Well, what I loved is that. So going back to this dress scene. I'm here for you. Until I have to go back home to my husband. Yeah. [laughter] Who I have. I just love to have -- I wrote down a note like, oh, God, this is a boy watching her picking out dresses. Let me guess, is she going to talk about getting proposed to? And sure enough, that's what she started to do, starts to cry. And then she's like, oh, she's like -- what was I going to say? Brandi just starts bawling in the dressing room. I'm like, this girl is just so pathetic. Yeah. She's like, I don't like this dress and it really doesn't fit me, but I don't want to just put it back on the rack because that's not what you do to people. You don't just try them off for a while and put them on the rack. I have this dress on my naked body and I'm going to commit to it and I'm going to take care of its children dresses. Because that's how it works. [laughter] So finally it's time for the big party. Brandi gets into her dress, which I had to ask. Do you think she got her dress from the Sonya Morgan International Brand Collection? Because it looked very much like it was from that line. With the shot in the future, like 12 years when that dress was actually made. [laughter] Yeah. It was got to order. Pickles is still in a basement with a glue gun, okay? Don't worship. Yeah. Don't rush computer number three, man. So then the party was coming together. All sorts of cool things were happening. For instance, DJ Timmy Liberis was there. So that's cool. Straight from, straight from Nochella. No, Chella. Straight from the back of the Cheerios box. Fontana's hot as DJ Timmy Liberis is here. [laughter] And then race car passing by really slowly. Just ignore them. Just ignore them. You don't see them. You don't see them. You don't see them. David, is there a bomb in that race car? David. I will not slow down. Who's this? Who's party is this? Oh, we forgot to mention that the other best friend has been talking to the boyfriend. And she's like, yeah, but what she really wants is a ring. Why don't you just get her with the ring? Just get her the ring. That's really what she wants. She's like, yeah, I don't think so. I was thinking a car. She's like, a car? Are you going to ask her to marry you in the car? Because she really wants to be married. She's like, ring. Don't you understand? She is literally having her birthday party at a giant ring. Do you see the car driving around it? What more do you need? If she could take this racetrack and put it around her finger, she would. That shit is bold. That was so funny. And that girl is lucky to have friends who were that good to her because that was a good friend. She's like, oh, okay. Wow. That car is pretty. She sure would love that. How about a ring? So good. Yeah. You know how she also has good friends because they all drove out to Fontana for her. And honestly, what I thought was funny was that the stadium I thought for sure it was like the party was going to be during race day. But it was just no, just a big empty stadium. Yeah, they got in on a day off. Why didn't they have the party down like in the center field? Like that would have been super cool. Oh, I don't know, Ben. There were just a lot of questions for this show, Ben. They were just like in a suite. I think what this show is supposed to do is not leave you with questions ever. You're not supposed to ever walk away from this. Like, I need to think about that a little more deeply. So then anyway, Brandi has two very cute daughters and they are really cute. And the daughter was like, Mom, we made you this. And they're like, they gave their mom like this bedazzled piece of cloth. And she's like, this is nice. You could just sort of imagine her being like, I wonder if I could fashion this into a ring. They put around my finger this cloth now. She's like, I can't even believe they didn't take the twisty ties out of a garbage bucket to make me a ring. I mean, that's the least they could have done. They know that's all I want. I mean, just it's all they need is a piece of tin foil. That's all they really need. I need more creative children. Hopefully the new father of these children will insert some creativity into their bones. So then over at the racetrack, as the party's coming together, the flour, the flour woman, the florist is missing. The florist thought she was supposed to be there on a Monday. And it was Saturday and Bethany is freaking out. Well, Elsie is supposed to have the most depressing 40th birthday party ever. She's probably like, well, it just seemed fitting that it was on a Monday. So I just assumed it was a luncheon on a Monday in Fontana at an empty racetrack. I was hoping for some running eggs. I'm going to stop somewhere before I come over with the flowers. So we're really hungry. So then Bethany starts to freak out. She's like, this is the worst thing that could happen on the day of the party. There are no flowers. This is so bad. This is almost as bad as if she didn't get a ring. This would be terrible. And in my mind, I'm thinking, you know, that, you know, both of them rot away when Diane reads the script after Cheech Marin, not Cheech Marin, but whatever his name is, does the revisions. And she goes, finally, drama. I was like, that's what was going through my brain. Charmed, charmed, I'm sure. Charmed, charmed, charmed, charmed. And by the way, Cheech was, what's the name of the guy who played Cheech? You know, that guy. Chas Palmentary was Cheech. Chas Palmentary, what happened to that guy? I know. And Diane, we played Helensen Claire. Love it. What am I? Just some vain old Broadway legend? Don't speak. Don't speak. Oh, this train is going so fast. It seems to be friends with this lady on this show this week. Don't speak. Don't speak. So anyway, after I was all excited that there was finally some drama happening, it was like, cut to commercial. I mean, come back. It's like, oh, good. The flowers are here. I was like, oh, yay. They made it. That was exciting. Well, you know, they made it further than this relationship is going to be. It's pretty plain that this is going to be a crash and burn, man. It's going to crash and burn, guys. This is probably one of the most conflict-free hours that Bravo has ever aired. It basically was like, a woman decided to have a party. The party happened. And then it ended. They thought the flowers were not going to get there, but the flowers showed up. Well, we have to tell people the end. No, I know. I'm just kidding. This is where I was going. When the flowers showed up, I was like, oh, we're not even going to get any drama about the flowers. You know, yep, they're flowers made out of car parts and they cost you $80 zillion. Literally, the vases were made of gears and rotors and engines and pistons and it costs $30,000. That was $12,000. Yeah, when they showed the part of the lady crying, Brandy crying and being like, I just need someone to support my children, basically. And then they cut to this party is costing $70,000. Yeah, that's at least a year at some college races. Come on now. Oh, they're not going to college. Oh, so they're going to scare me. Yeah, their mom's into race car driving and business modeling and getting rings from Michael Day. So, I had that look on their face. Like, we drove a long time. I hope you're getting a ring every time anything happened. They're like, oh, my God, it's a special drink. I hope there's a ring in them. Yeah, I know. They're all like, so when the race starts, like, oh, there is no race. Just a car driving around aimlessly. It's just an existential metaphor for my life. So that gather around. We are going to play Ring Around the Rosie. It's going to be our first game of the night. I brought just like, I brought my favorite telescope so that way Jim could go out and look at Saturn and all its rings. Some people have asked for Ferraris. I asked for Saturn. So let's drive me up to the entrance now, guys. So I can get my ring. There, we are going to be pulling the fire alarm every half an hour so that way Jim can hear the bells ring. The best place is to secure a commitment is where NASCAR drivers can NASCAR drivers go. You know, that's where people have to wear flame retardant suits because they're going up in flames, right? Bad, bad omen, lady. Bad omen, lady. So finally the moment comes and he waits in the room. Lorenzo llamas. Oh, I thought you meant that. Oh, yeah. The first one happens comes. Lorenzo llamas walks in, as we mentioned before. He walks in. And it was like that moment in serial mama. Suzanne Summer shows up in the courtroom and everyone's like, "Ooh, Suzanne Summer." So it's like Lorenzo llamas. Wow. And then it was like, "Ladies and gentlemen, may we direct your attention to Karen Waldro?" Oh. And everyone's like, "Does she have a ring?" Does she have, is she wearing a ring? Does anybody sing and sing about a ring? Does she just sing? Does her hand shine? The ring doesn't mean a thing. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Act like you're taking a picture with a flash so we can see if it shines. Let's see. Let's see if there are a ring there. Is there a ring? You look great on. You look great. God, she's so old. I hope she finds a husband soon. And badly. I just sense it. Everybody just had this look of horror on their faces. She was like lukewarm. And then the guy's like, "I have a speech, very big speech for everybody here. I want everybody to gather around for this speech." They're like, "Oh my God, here it is, here it is. Here's the ring speech." And he's like, "You know, Brandi has been asking me for a long time like pestering me every day for one thing, and I got it for her." So let's all walk around the building to check it out. And they're like, "Oh my God, here it is." It's happening. It's like, "It's a car, a race car." He's like, "I would like to propose to you that you drive this car somewhere." Will you be my first passenger in this car? Will you be my first passenger in this rented car and take it around that ring? Would you do that? Will you take this ringing endorsement of your driving abilities? I want you to be my wife by hotspot in the car. Do you have one of those cars that goes in your laptop? It's time to go to City Hall because we need to get our license for this car that you're going to need to have anymore. We're going to get a blood test so we know how to put some blood in you when you crash this new car. You know what? I want you and me. I want to get Mary Tyler Moore's autograph. Do you know where she lives? By the way, if you guys don't have Nick at night, I give that show my ringing praise. I would like to rely praise for Mary Tyler Moore. I would like to join you in holy matching turtlenecks. Can we do that? Please, I am my heir for the rest of my life. Now, here's where the story really got interesting for me as a viewer. First of all, you can fit into that car. Yeah, and also that it was an antique race car. Perfect for your racing team. Here's a car that crossed way too much money instead of a ring that I refuse to buy you that you can't even use. Have fun with not driving this car. What else you can do with that thing on a racing team? Things from 1920. Yeah, I know. It's only fitting that you drive an old car that will most likely break down in a race. Well, the best part, she gets in the car and she's like, "Okay, there's got to be a ring in here somewhere." So she's looking everywhere. She's like under the visor, in the keyhole, like in the armrest, under the chair. There's not even a key ring. He just gave her the wooden key. Yeah, he's like, "I'm not even going to risk that." It's just the key. There's not even any old food where she could get some ringworm from. She's just nothing. She's like, "Does anybody have a penny so I could lift this part of the key ring and get it a run?" So she ended up leaving and going to sushi with her other friend who I'm sure her original best friend probably didn't. She's like, "Okay, I'll just clean everything up." Oh, yeah, you're right. It was a different friend. And then she went with her other friend to sushi and here was the nice twist for me. She left the guy. She was like, "You know what? I need to get married. He's obviously not going to marry me. I'm leaving him." That is so refreshing. Good for you, girl. I know. I was very happy about that. She's like, "I felt humiliated." Well, yeah, because you told everybody that all you wanted was a ring. She kind of set herself up, but in the end, she let her self-respect win even though it took a while. But still, like, if her credit were credits due, I'm telling myself that. And I also, I have to say, I was laughing that she didn't get the ring. I was like, "Kat, you just got embarrassed." You can't just force somebody to marry you because you need it. Like, that's just crazy. Marriage shouldn't be that. I mean, it is a business agreement in a lot of ways, but I don't know. If it's been six years-- I don't know. If it's been six years and you want to get married, and the other person still will not pop the question, you've got to leave that shit. It's one thing if you're six years and neither of you want to get married, that's fine. But if one of you wants to get married and the other one still won't do it, then guess what? Not going to happen or it's going to go to a bad place. Yeah, especially if he's been saying for a long time that he doesn't want to, because she was looking at it like, "Yeah, I've invested six years." You have about how many of those years did he say he doesn't want to get remarried, or did he lead her on? I don't know, but it sounds like he told her before. If he says that, don't try and talk him into it, because then the first time he fucks up, he's going to be like, "I told you I wasn't ready." You're going to have to be like, "Yeah, that's right. That's true." "Okay, I forgive you." No, find a real mate. You deserve that. That's the least you can give yourself at 40, and she did. You know, good ending for her. Good for you. It was a fab 40 for her. I mean, you know, in tradition, it ended in disappointment sadness. It's like, "Happy 40th birthday." Enjoy being a enjoy-build-a-bear. Well, at least she has nothing to fall back on. At the end, you know, she's taken care of herself, and she started some fitness, something or other. Like, some eat healthy, fit as the new, whatever. I don't even remember. At that point, I was just like, "Ah." It's like, "Are you wondering why this boring woman is on television?" "Well, she's got a diet shake, so please be sure to not buy that next time you're in the store." Next week, next week, it's a gay guy who's having his 40th. But also, next week, thankfully, we have "Ladies of London that are back." I was going to say, that's the best part. Was that preview? Did you see it? Where they were all doing it? I watched it on demand, so I had to see the commercials. When they were lip syncing, I was referring to the gay, yes. In front of the, like, bad green screen, "Oh, I can't wait for that show." None of them could do it. None of them could do it. The best was, I love the... Alexander Annabelle? Yeah. She's just saying, "Watermelon chicken pie, watermelon chicken pie, chicken pie, chicken pie, watermelon chicken pie." Well, but I also love, is that, poor Annabelle, I mean, she is starting to look like an old lady, but she's still styling herself like a young, actually a very fashionable young woman, but it's kind of funny. I just love that she sees herself as the most edgy and rock and roll when she is the most dowdy, old lady of them all. Well, also because we've seen her home interior, you know, that might be shading a little bit of this, because that was, like, old lady couches and doilies and stuff. But she was the most, but she was, of all the women, last year, she was the one who was beholden to the rules of British, acting proper in British society. She's like, "I'm such a rock and roller. I drink my tea when it's lukewarm." You know? You know what would inspire us to party, manners. I would bring up his manners and we would just go crazy. There was no mirror table left with lines on it when we were done, because we walked around with a nappy. Awesome, rock and roll, man. I noticed that Caroline did not participate in that promo. Caroline is like, "Sorry, but some of us have careers in standing in this community." Yeah. I should be ordering things off Amazon for wealthy people. Thank you. Call me or don't. I don't care. You're a moron. I'm sorry, but I speak to my mind. No, I'm excited to do the wrong way. But also next week on My Fab 40th, I know we're like this, just facts. But it's not only a gay guy next week. It is a 40, obviously. Or 41 on the show. Who knows? He's like, "I'm trying to get a gun." But his 40th birthday, Ob, and he just came out of the closet and left his straight life behind. He's already so gay. He fell out of the closet and on to a drag queen truck. I don't know how that worked, but all of his friends are really gay, crazy gay. And then he mixes them with the straight people, and it looks amazing. And one of the gay guys is like, "Yeah, this is the great part, and of course, this cream." Like he went from being a strike out of getting him up the bat. And everybody's like, "Oh, yeah, what about his friend Frank is probably in the closet." And we're like, "Oh, my God! I cannot wait." Yeah, we'll probably have to come to that episode. At least, because we earned it after this one. We did. We did it. We did it. Somehow we made it to the end of this podcast with not a lot of content. It was still real fun, Dave. It was still real fun, David. Oh, it's mixing them all up together. David? David? David? David? David? David? David? I want a list of all the insignificant artists, David. I don't want to be plucking an ass here that you've ever thought, David, or right list. David, I can't believe you were intimate with someone else after you were intimate with me on my birthday. I can't believe you'd take me to a sports bar afterwards a year later. David, five days after my birthday, you're trying to put sugar on me ass hairs, David. I mean, what the hell? David, there's so much sugar in your sauce. David's love for them, everybody is mine! Oh, okay. Love your cars. That was a fun one anyway, Ben. I mean, it was. It was. Everybody, you're great. You know, continue just being wonderful. All right, and I'll continue sitting here at #catchdesk and Ben will continue his coffee addiction. I can always tell when the podcast is about to end because that's when I suddenly have to go to the bathroom. Me too, my leg is like pulsing, but I don't want to get up, so I'm trying to make it not end. I'm swiveling in my chair. All right, Peter. Okay. Everybody, thanks so much. We will talk to you next time. Bye. If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the Internet. The folks behind the sideshow network have launched a new YouTube channel called "Wait for it." It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza Schlesinger, Slicing, driving friends with it for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there, and I still have a hard time with the last name, Liza. Our very own Owen Benjamin, that's me, takes you on a musical journey down Internet rabbit holes and much more. You don't have to wait any longer. Just go to YouTube.com/waitfortcomedy. There's no need to wait for it anymore, because it's here, and it's funny. And I love you. 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