Audible's best of 2024 picks are here. From memoirs and sci-fi to mysteries and thrillers, Audible's curated list in every category is the best way to hear 2024's best in audio entertainment. Like a stunning new full cast production of George Orwell's 1984. And first of all, Everett's brilliantly subversive James. Audible, there's more to imagine when you listen. I actually am really excited to hear George Orwell's 1984 again, because last time I read that was back in, I don't know, middle school or something like that. And the world has changed so much with technology and everything like that. I feel like now is the perfect time to revisit and listen to it on Audible. Especially when it's told by a full cast like that, like it's a full production. It's going to be like a radio play, you know? That's major. Go to Audible.com/crapins and discover all the year's best waiting for you. That's Audible.com/crapins. Is it just me or has TV gotten really complicated? Thankfully, Fylo has changed that for me. One service, all the stuff I need. Fylo's got current seasons of the shows I can't miss. Live on networks like A&E, Paramount, Discovery and TLC. Classics like The Office, Martin and Friends that I never get sick of. And all the incredible originals on AMC+ from Mad Men Hello to Orphan Black. And don't forget their library of more than 75,000 movies and shows, all of which I can save and rewatch any time for a whole year. Never miss a minute of shows like The Golden Girls. You know I'm always watching The Golden Girls and Fylo has it. Best of all, with Fylo, you get all of this for just $28 a month. No contract, no hassles. Just one subscription and a world of entertainment. So go to Fylo.tv and check it out for a free seven day trial. That's P-H-I-L-O dot TV to start watching. Today's episode is sponsored by Casper. Get $50 towards any mattress purchased by visiting www.casper.com/crapins and using promo code Crapins. That's why it's Shaw's Vanderpump Rules. Come and gather 'round and make love of this place. Oh, I guess I'll probably know if it runs with Bravo. I'm so carey on the camera, bravo. Watch what Crapins, watch what Crapins. Who cares what happens when there's so much that Crapins? Who cares what happens when there's so much that Crapins? Today's episode of Watch what Crapins was brought to you by Premium subscribers. Claudia Catalina and Kristy Doherty. We love you girls. Now on to the show. Hello, welcome to the Watch what Crapins podcast. A podcast about all the crap we'd love to talk about on Bravo. I'm Ronnie Caron from Trash Talk TV and with we is the lovely, talented, thin and dancer, versed Ben Mabelker. I am Dan Sirversed and I also woke up like 90 minutes ago and I'm just having one of those days where I'm sleepy. So my voice, I feel like my voice sounds extra deep and gravely today. Yeah, I have. Hey, everyone, but I have with me a tall, not a tall, but like a large iced coffee, not from Starbucks, but from Tiago, which is the coffee shop, the nice coffee shop that's around the corner. And their iced coffee is like jet fuel. So everyone buckle your seats because we're about to take off. Tiago, Fantigo, baby. Why do I go to the muta? I guess they would have good coffee there. If Tom Cruise was getting everybody drunk all the time. Yeah, he is tossing up and flipping all those bottles of iced coffee. Peter's brew. So thank you guys so much for listening to the show. Thank you for everybody who's supporting us. Thanks to our premium subscribers. Holler if you want to be a premium subscriber and you don't want to spend a zillion dollars, you can do that too. Just come over to patreon.com/watchwhatcrapins. That's patreon.com/watchitcrapins and there you can get all our bonus content. We do a bonus episode every week. This week's will be on Thursday and Google Hangouts and all good all kinds of good stuff. We're both completely crazy today so we should be fine. Yeah, it's gonna be a crazy episode. I don't know what the hell's going on today. Also come to our Facebook page, facebook.com/watchitcrapins and talk some shit with all the other listeners because this shit is hilarious. I don't even go to very many other housewives sites anymore because it's all here so thank you everybody. Yeah and you know what we've suddenly had this cool micro trend happening on our Facebook page where parents are posting videos of their toddlers in their in the car going, David, David, David, David, you have like two or three of those videos that have been posted on our wall and it's really funny. So thank you, thank you to those of you who have posted those. We've seen them and they make us chuckle. They're so funny. There's one that we got a few months ago of a little baby going, Crapins, Crapins. Well the latest one is from Rina Crumbly Rogers. Did I say that right? Rina, Rina. And it's her three-year-old going, David, David. I can't approximate the voice because as listeners of Thursday's episode may remember, I had a violent sneeze that hurt my throat and my throat is still hurting. And so I can't make certain voices now until it steals itself. Well that's okay. We have easy ones today. Okay, good. There's Shannon. Basically we're just going to do Shannon for two hours and then add some quad in there for good measure, I'm sure. Because quad had a beautiful week this week. Oh she certainly did. And so did Megan King Edmonds. I thought we were going to be able to work things out with Megan King Edmonds. But I don't know. I'm going to have to see you now. I'm re-evaluating. Re-evaluating. Before we talk about Megan King Edmonds, we have a lot of gossip that has also been brought to you by Megan King Edmonds. Omega, let's do it. Okay, so in no particular order, first things first, a big update on Yolanda Foster's Lyme disease. Turns out she doesn't have Lyme disease, turns out she has leaky boobs. Oh well, you know Ben, if you'd read this with some sensitivity, she still has chronic Lyme disease. But it was exacerbated by the saline that was leaking out of her 80s tits. Okay. Sailing, bad. And you know that's like from the 80s, but it's also from like group prom surgeries and stuff. And when Tamara got her boob job on Orange County, she's like, yeah, saline. And I was like, okay, I'll have that. Limes. Good luck, limes. Yeah, yeah, so she has a whole mess going on. And to show her struggle, Yolanda posted a photo of herself naked behind the towel with some markings because I guess she got her boobs taken out. So, oh, the struggle of Yolanda, she would like to thank David. I have to thank my love, David, for supporting me during this boob crisis. To tinker the child, I would grow up and be rich and flat-chested. I never saw it coming. So thank you, David. I want to thank my love, David, for having the idea of making breasts that did not have saline or silicone in them. That is such a wonderful idea. I will help so many young mothers out there in the future. Thank you, my love. We just took cufflinks off of the five tennis from the basement, and then we put them in a sack. And now that's in me. You know, it's hard to go through airlines, but, you know, we have our own anyway. So whatever terrorist I am not scared of you. Thank you, David, my love. My favorite part about a dinner party is when we all gather around the piano and put things into my boobs and then take them out. You know, when things got really bad and I would sit there and I would cry and I would cry, David would come to me and he would comfort me with this one little phrase. At least you're not the other one. And I would say, you know, thank you, David. Thank you, my love. Thank you, my love. Is that the reference to Anwar? Anwar, my love? Bella. Bella is the other one. That's right. Bella is the other one, and Anwar doesn't even have a name. Who is Anwar anyway? The other one, number two. Is that the man's silly little mermaid blanket down on the corner? You know, this lime step is really interesting lately, believe it or not, because it's one of those, like, popular diseases, like everyone has the arms now. And no one is really arguing with limes. No one ever has the argument is with chronic limes. And I think the AMA, I think, okay, now this is why I will never be on the news. The American Music Awards? The Latin Grammys, you guys, has just decided. What do I think, my love, David, for bringing the AMA's into this. Thank you so much with your power in the music industry. Our mammogram, it's important for you, okay? It's just a hint to Emma. Grammys short for mammogram. You know, David would get a grammy gram, because he has so many Grammys that it makes him tired all day. Nobody can figure out why. He can't even watch TV if he's not on it. David's famous, surrealist, honeygrams. Their mind about his Grammys and my mammograms. Anyway, I think it's the American Medical Association. Yeah, it is. Came out with some decision that's very controversial about chronic limes, because it can't really be defined. And so they've come out with a definition that's basically like, "If you get headaches, if you get tired, if you don't have energy in the middle of the day, if you're bleeding out of your face." It's like huge things and then really small things. So basically, anybody can have chronic limes now, and there's no really argument against it or no proof. So Brooks, next time you need a disease. Sick with Lyme. Yeah, there ain't no Carma San Diego. No one's going to be looking for that disease, okay? Yeah, exactly. So how I'm talking already, it's only five minutes. I'm like, "Carmas San Diego. How am I not?" You know, we're talking about Cam later. And by the way, by the way, I just want to add that to support this thesis that the Yolanda's boobs are what have been inflaming her chronic limes disease. She took a picture of herself holding a book called "The Naked Truth" about breast implants from harm to healing. And the picture is her sitting with the book and she has glasses on to show that she's been reading and that she's educated about the topic now. And it's just like the strangest, like, why would you take a picture of yourself reading the book? This is what I was talking about. I'm educating myself now. I am learning. I am a lawyer about this cause. You can't, limes can do a lot to me, but it cannot take away my reading glasses from CVS. I bought them, they are mine. Don't you remember we talked about this in our live show? You probably blacked it all out, but this, because I'm obsessed with Yolanda's Instagram. I have been ever since it was first pointed out to me by another evil listener. And I'm obsessed with it. And she graduated from her posing and shoes to her fake, posing her fake disease pictures, like that one where she was with her kid acting like she was being carried up the street. And then from his Instagram, there's a different profile or a different angle. And she's like laughing and smiling. So yeah, that was one of my favorite of all times. It's her posing with this book like implants, falsies or realities, limes. I'm reading and I'm not wearing any makeup. So I don't want anybody to think this is a model read. It is a real person reading a book. I know it's just it is so self-serving, Yolanda. Well, her thing of getting on Beverly Hills, David always said, you know, she wants to do Beverly Hills because she has a platform, you know, that's her platform to discuss limes disease because she wants a spin-off. I was like, what's a spin-off of limes disease? It's like, yeah, you're just watching some woman be tired all day and deciding not to wear a makeup for the cause. Like what the hell? Right. Yeah. So another piece of gossip that we have, I'm trying to pull up who of you. Oh, here it is. It was, oh, Kells be read. Gave us this link. Tails, T-M-Z. The rumor is that with Nini out of Atlanta, that the producers are making moves on Shirei to come back and Marlowe Hamilton. Oh, Marlowe, good lord. I think Shirei's a good idea. I mean, they're handing her money, but you know, we care about her. I want her to get money. I want Shirei back. I always felt like Shirei was unjustly pushed out because of Nini. I think she deserves to come back. Yeah, me too, but Marlowe. Marlowe, no, no. She had her moment. She's done. No more Marlowe. Another piece of casting news is that there's this woman Erica Jane, who's joining the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. She is, this is according to reality, she is a recording artist/club performer and is reportedly friends with David and Yolanda Foster. And she performs, apparently, a lot of gay things. It does end on me. No, seriously. I mean, all these bravo stars know their audience. They just know they have to put out some very adequate dance track and they're going to get booked in every gay club across the country. Well, here's the quote. Erica brings a young energy and she has sex appeal. Oh, she's dead. They're all going to hate her. Yeah. And does she have sex appeal? She looks like she's not that young, to be honest. Well, it's real Housewives of Beverly Hills, but she's got that Botox eye where one eye is half closed. Yeah. And then the other one's like open. I'm sure she has like the one blinker. So, hey, I'm all in. And she's like struggling still with thigh gap. Like I said, in this picture, she's like, I will have thigh gap. Like those are just really tight boots. So stop hurting yourself. You're going to lose your legs to bad circulation. Okay. Yeah. She's like a low rent cat dealie, basically. Yeah. And cat he's already fairly low rent, I mean. Isn't she like the co-host of So You Think You Can Dance? Or She The Host Host? Wow. She's so low-rent in your eyes that you've actually demoted her to co-host, which is the only one on there. I've taken it back to American Idol Days. She hosts with an invisible man. Ryan Dunkelman and Katiele. She's second-filled invisible Ryan Dunkelman. And So You Think You Dance. Okay. So, what would a day be? Oh, actually. Real housewife Carol Radzewill pens cookbook with boyfriend. Oh, Lord. That's bullshit. She doesn't even cook. She said so. I won't buy it. I refuse. How to turn on your desk so it will cook your food. Because her office is in her kitchen. Getting a steno pad to make toast by Carol Radzewill. How to print your smoke salmon with your printer, whatever. I can't do Carol voice either today. By the way, I like. Penmanship on a salmon. It's really going to be just like boil some fucking hot water and put it in some crap macaroni and cheese. Carol, get out of here with your young boyfriend. Break it over your honey farmer. Carol, I support you and your young boyfriend. But I don't support you writing a cookbook. So just stay out of that area. You know, maybe this is her ploy to get on the Food Network. Because you know, Food Network, all they do now is have celebrity chefs. It's like Tricia's kitchen. And Rev Run's kitchen. And one of the sister-sister girls is kitchen. And like Dwight Yokem's kitchen or something like that. By the way, I saw Dwight Yokem in Target last night and he looks scary. Doesn't everybody in Target, is it the lighting in that La Brea Target? Or is he legit? Yeah, it was the La Brea Target. He was looking real, real scary. I was like, Dwight Yokem looks scary anyway. But he, seeing him in person with his big gray, like David Crosby hair, and like bursting out, he was like rummaging through the baggage aisle. I was like, "Ooh, please let Carol Radswell get a Food Network." So now that you've said it, I'm not going to get that out of my head. Carol Radswell on the Food Network. Yeah, it'll be called Slide, the Slide Kitchen. Welcome to my kitchen. Every episode she'll fall down while holding a plate. Because there are too many ping-pong balls on the floor. Not been picked up. The best way to make eggs in your bra. Let him know that you may not be a spring chicken, but you can still burn some. And look sexy doing it. And make a chicken with spring peas. Here's some more gossip. This is a funny gossip. This is my last gossip item and then I know you have one. This is about Brandy Glanville. So Brandy, as we know, she's been fired. Thank God. And since she's been fired, Jeff Lewis has now confirmed that the whole big dust up that they had, I watched what happens a few months ago. That it was not like a joke that they had planned on Andy. That Brandy basically did freak out. She was freaking out, okay? She was freaking out. But he could get out. She flipped the bitch. So now Brandy, according to a new tweet, Brandy is saying that she thinks Jeff is continuing to bring up the past so he can use her to stay relevant. You're starting to stay relevant. He's telling us a TV show. Yeah, he has a TV show, bitch. You're the one who's trying to stay relevant. What are you talking about? And the show is about him. And she goes like the person on the cover of the show. She goes, not sure why certain people are talking about old news. Don't people have paint lines to promote hashtag, I don't lie. Hashtag, you actually do lie. So your hashtag, I don't lie is a lie in and of itself. And second of all, you are the master of talking about old news. How about like you erase your 50,000 tweets about Leanne and Eddie? Talk about old news. How about like you getting mad at Lisa Vanderpump because she employs Sheena? Like, how about that's old news? So why don't you go be quiet and how about this? Here's a one way ticket to shut up mountain Brandy Glanville. Bought and paid for by now. Yeah, yeah, go get the gondola is waiting for you. Just hop right on in and go to the top. See, isn't a gondola a boat? I'm so confused. A gondola is a boat, but it's also like a little trans circular like thing that you can take to the top of. But there's so many words in the world. Like, can't we have different words for those two things? Like, why is one a boat? And then one is the thing that flies you up to the top of a mountain. They're not even similar. If you, you know why, you know why, Ronnie? Because if you had different words for different things, then all those the source people be out of work, okay? That's not fair to that. Those spell checkers that work inside the Mac would be totally a boat. Now I'm looking at gondola to make sure I'm not using it incorrectly. Okay, so it is, okay, the correct definition of gondola is a light flat bottom boat used on Venetian canals, having a high point at each end and worked by one or at the stem, or a cabin on a suspended ski lift, or an open railroad freight car. So don't listen to this show and say you didn't learn anything. Gondola actually sounds like the name of the next real housewife of Beverly Hills. Like, have you met gondola Price? She's joining the cast. Gondola Price, it's around the corner. Yeah, that's she'll be the new one. Gondola Price owns a fabric store on Beverly Drive. Gondola Price, she's coming to the party tonight. Will she fly there? Will she come in a boat? Who knows? I've heard so many things about Gondola Price, but one thing for sure is that she does not mince words. You do not want to get on Gondola Price's bad side. One thing I knew about Gondola, you never know what she's going to arrive in. That girl will travel something different every time you hang out with her. You actually have to take a funicular up to her house, which is very off brand. Her husband Ashmud works at Beijon and he sells designer rings to Persians. Oh my god, I found an M&M in the couch. I'm so eating this. Hold on, I'm going to do a slow suck. Okay, you guys just see what's going on. I think it's got cigarette ashes on it. Hold on, let me wipe it off. It's a blue one, a blue M&M. It's going to be a good day. Thank you, David. I would like to thank David for the blue M&M I found in my couch. I'm totally eating it too. Yeah, you're being single, trying alone. Oh, okay, so my thing. And I, yes, I'm going to suck an M&M while I tell you about it. Yeah, do it darling. Darling, suck it. All right, Penny, I don't want packages of candy. All right, I just want one single blue round thing. All right, Charlie, $30. We'll revolutionize the industry, darling. Chef Penny, here's what we're going to do. We're going to line everyone up into a pub. And we're going to have one. Tonight's special is M&M Tartar. We're going to toss a bunch of M&M's with lemon juice and serve it to them in a martini glass. Isn't it amazing that lime juice cooks the M&M? It was revolutionary, darling. We're going to change the world with this one. Darling, isn't food science just absolutely amazing? Pandora, get on there. Make sure everyone has their salt and pepper shakers. No, Pandora, I don't want you serving food anymore. I'm sorry, get max, get max. Pandora, I demand a cover story in the divine addiction about this M&M Tartar thing. Man, Pandora will not stop studying food. I've never should have given her this job. Sorry, gay husband. You're going to have to not touch Pandora even more now. Sorry, darling. Chef Penny, hurry up with those M&M Tartar. Hurry up. We have three planters to fill with them. Hurry up. Halloween's around the corner. All right. This isn't even-- oh, sorry. Just blew out your speakers there. No, it's not. This is not-- and also, I got through the candy part during that. So it's good. It won't be as annoying now. So you guys. Kim Richards. OK, this isn't really gossip, but it's Kim Richards, so we have to talk about it. Yeah. So I'm asking Richards, did not just go to Target and put some moisturizer in her purse, OK? Yeah. Bitch, went in, got those free-- or the cloth shopping bags or whatever. I don't even know what they're made of. Not cloth, whatever those things. Those plastic cloth things. Yeah, those plasticy. Yeah. She got those synthetic material. Who walked through the store, filled them up. Was done. Then she went to the front, put all the bags in a cart, and said, I already paid for this. And then left. Wow. Then she went back in for more. Oh, my god. She got another card. It's amazing. Is that how she was talking? She went in for more. Well, hold on. She grabbed reusable bags. Blah, blah, blah. Took the express line left. Then she grabbed another cart and didn't even bother backing the item. She just loaded the cart up with toys and beauty products. I mean, that's probably what did her in. She probably could have gotten away with the first cart, but the second one, yeah, toys and beauty items. What's she the toys for? That's what I'm saying. She could go sell them on the street. She's going to be out in front of Yawanda's house. She's going to like little mermaid cows. I got some little mermaid cows here. She's going to be walking around. She's going to buy some fake flowers, and she's going to tie a string to the flower to her wrist. And she's going to sell it to someone who's like, hey, Sarah, have a flower. And she'll get like her dollar and they'll walk away and she'll pull the flower back. And they won't realize like Charlie Chaplin did in the 20s. She'll be like little mermaid cows. You know the problem with little mermaid cows is that if a little mermaid wants to buy one of my cows, she has to come out of the water. And then this she loses her legs and ruins her whole entire life. Like congratulations, now you're dry. I have a huge, huge order, pure order for under the sea. All right, there's some artworks down there that wants all these towels. No matter how many towels you have in the ocean, you can never get it dry. This business is never going to go wrong. Hi, I'm Kim Richards, folks first and for a little mermaid cows. They're the best drying towels in all of Malibu and this kind of Malibu and you know, I'm poor miserable towels. You know, you never need to dry off after a shower. You know who else needs to dry off the ocean. Please buy some Kim Richards, little mermaid cows. Hey surfers, nice surfers. Good luck getting dry without my little mermaid towel. Are you on one or five dollars a piece just now limited in limited amount? God bless her. So a couple of things that she stole there's like pictures then. It looks like a drug bust, but like of a 12 year old who just didn't think she was being watched in a candy store. Literally, it's like Hello Kitty stuff. There's a ton of dots. You know those candy dots? They're all like the paper and they look like pills. They look like big sheets of pills, basically. There's like a ton of those. I cannot believe this bitch. I just noticed that right now. Yeah, a lot of dots, basically. Yeah. And like some Hello Kitty stickers and all kinds of shit in here, actually. Yeah, and her mug shot. Like, you know, her first mug shot, she looked pretty good in it. This mug shot, no, now she's in crazy town. Now she's it now she's she's she's got a meth mug shot now. She's got like that 1999 KFED boat hat going on. Yes. Got those glasses. I mean, she is she is like a a boy band gone awry with meth. I mean, she she made Dwight Yokem look like a look like he was the man from uncle. Okay, he's like a like a young Henry Cavill. Dwight Yokem is compared to Kim Richards. Hold on, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Like, uh, keep everybody else out of here. But she's been hospitalized, right? Her the family has actually. She was hospitalized for like five minutes. They said they took her in to like check her out because you know, she's always like so sick. But wow, it's crazy. She's actually really gone off over the edge. Like more so we thought she had gone over the edge before. She is really in she's in bad shape now. Well, a couple interesting things. One, and these are all comment based comments that that I'm reading from the comments. So as most internet comments and as most internet as most information, I regurgitate on this. So it's probably crap and not true. So please feel free to tell me. But one common side effect, what do you call it when a symptom? Yeah, not a symptom. I don't know. One way that you can tell if somebody. Chef Petty, get that the source. I'm talking about drug addicts listening to me. Gondola. Gondola? Is it a gondola? One common gondola. But one way you can tell that someone is using opiates is that they have shoplifting issues, which I did not know that. But my friend who's in rehab, who I've mentioned a couple times, he's like the craziest drug addict I know. That guy's nuts. And he was always stealing shit. Like, I won't even go anywhere with him. Is it stealing shit because it's to use it to either sell drugs or make drugs? No, it's just like a kleptomania thing. It's a kleptomania thing. It's weird. So I don't know. It inhibits that part of your brain that says, no, don't do that or something like that. Yeah, or I guess you've realized that you're already getting fucked up on drugs, so you need adrenaline too, because the drugs really aren't enough. Medicine with Ben and Ronnie. I know. It does that thing to your brain where it does that thing to it, you know, etc. Not disease. That's how we do it. That's how we roll. I mean, hey, if you'll want to connect doctors like that, so can we? I know the whole world is your medical oyster, Ben. Maybe Kim Richards just needs a nice long night of sleep. And you know, it would really help her with that other than the opiates she's already taking. A Casper mattress. Oh, Ben, what a sweet idea, Ben. What a sweet idea. And as someone who has recently laid down on a Casper mattress for 20 minutes in their showroom, I can attest that it's soups comfy. So Casper is an online retailer of premium mattresses for a fraction of the price. The mattress industry has inherently forced customers into paying notoriously high markups. True debt. True debt. Casper is revolutionizing the mattress industry by cutting the cost of dealing with resellers and showrooms and passing that savings directly to the Casper mattress provides resilience and long lasting supportive comfort. Casper's mattress is one of a kind, a new hybrid mattress that combines premium latex with memory foam. Latex foam, you should add. So guess what? This is actually, by the way, everyone. I know we are reading an ad, but it's actually soup school. The mattresses can often cost, normal mattresses often cost well over $1,500, which is true. But Casper mattresses cost between $500 for a twin size, $600 for a twin XL, $750 for a full size, $850 for a queen size, and $950 for a king size mattress. And for real, no joke, that's actually really good pricing for this sort of mattress. Casper understands that buying a mattress online can have customers wondering how this is possible. I know Casper is confused. Hey, how do you get that in your target cart? Nothing's huge, Ken, call Ken back here. Why? Where have all the dots go on this mattress? I thought I was going to get an ultra-sized dots package. Can I get a less heavy mattress that's going to crush my methylmann? Hide it from the kids. So, by the way, so buying a Casper mattress is completely risk-free. Casper offers free delivery and returns within a 100-day period. It's that simple. And by the way, did you know this? This is off-hour script. Casper mattresses actually arrive in a box. They somehow squeeze them into a box with pressure and stuff. So, it arrives in a box just like the size of a mini fridge, which I think is so cool. And you open it up and the mattress springs out of it. Well, yeah, you have to wait for it to eventually get air and unspunges itself. It's really creepy to watch. Just like him, Richards. You just got to sitter there and wait for her to unspunge. So, here's one thing. It's an obsessively engineered mattress at a shockingly fair price. Oh, yeah. Just the right sink. Just the right bounce. Two technologies, latex foam and memory foam, come together for better nights and brighter days. And there's a risk-free trial and return policy, so you can try to keep you on Casper for 100 days with free delivery and painless returns. Mattresses made in America! And it has $500 for a twin mass twin. It's $9.50 for a king, and compare that to the industry averages. That's an outstanding price point. Even gondola price would get involved with that. Get $50 towards any mattress purchased by visiting www.casper.com/crapends and use the promo code "crapends" in terms of condition supply. And by the way, this truly has nothing to do with the fact that they are now an advertiser on our show. I actually am planning to get one. I'm just saving up my money. Well, do you think it's a coincidence that they became advertisers again, the same week that you were talking about Casper mattress? That's weird, right? Yeah. For people who think there's some cronyism going on, if they did do that because I was mentioning it last week, we were not alerted to any of that. We were just told by our side show network pals. Yeah. Guess what, Casper? So, it advertised it this week. You know, Casper has become a good friend, because when you think about them, they call. Oh, Casper. And here's something else about those mattresses. They can walk through walls. [LAUGHS] ♪ Walk through walls! ♪ That was from that Bravo songwriting show with Cara Delacarda. I love that show. I did too. I did. And I know Matt would feel loved it too. We would always talk about it was a lost gem. We would love it! All right, just get on with the show. So, before we, one last thing before we start getting into OC. Okay. We have to make a correction from last, the last, previous episode. Oh, Lord. Now what do we do? It's not like a big deal. Sorry, Carol Radswell, okay? Scatter your fucking husband in 20 different spots. I don't even care, okay? You already apologized for that. I'm apologizing for a massive era in which I said like, you know, Heather Thompson, she's so dumb. She's been on this show for three years, and she never once even used it to have a fashion show, and everyone else has a fashion show. So, I'm dumb because her first season, she had a fashion show, a big old fashion show that Aviva Drescher walked in, LOL. So, thank you to everyone who corrected me. It's so funny because we totally covered that whole season. We just don't remember shit. Like there's too much of this shit in our brains, and it just goes away sometimes. Yeah, maybe that, maybe it's possible that fashion show was pre St. John's or St. Bart's or wherever they went because that season only started clicking once Aviva flipped out on vacation and became crazy, and then all of a sudden that season became out of control good. They are verbally raping me. Best. Congrats, Heather. You did it. You had a fashion show. The best ever is Aviva in that fucking like, whale face mask. She looked like KKK in a weird mask. Saying verbally raped me. You're both white trash quite frankly. I thought it would be fun to have this Kim Richards picture from TMZ as my screensaver. You know what? It's really depressing. No, that's not a fun thing. So, bye, Kim Richards. You're going back to the realistic drawing of Pac-Man. I mean, Mario, about to get eaten by a giant plant. Have you seen those, Ben? When artists do these, they do like adult versions of the cartoons and they're scary as hell. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, so good. I've got a good Mario. I thought you, when you're talking about Mario, I thought you were talking about Ramona's Mario, not like Mario Mario. Oh, no. Kajuma. I'm like, have you seen the modern drawings of Mario Singer? That's not as confused. I was like, who is doing like realistic fan art? Realistic surrealist fan art. Real housewives in New York City's expenses. That's a very niche market. Very niche. You know, I don't understand all this porn and the people looking at the computers all the time having sex with their computers. You know what? I just need a nice painting of Mario. That's all I need. I mean, I don't care. I'm free. I just need a painting with my hand. And that's all I need. Okay. Okay. So anyway, let's talk about Real Housewives of Orange County. You're going to have to steer, because I actually took zero notes. Oh, bro, I took 20 pages. Our friend Michelle came over last night. We watched it, and so I felt we were taking notes while, you know, like in a social environment. So it is fresh in my mind, but you're going to have to steer, which is good because you probably took tons and tons of notes. I sure did. I watched it five this morning. Oh, and I watched it with the, with the computer. So I tapped, I tapped and tapped and tapped and tapped. Yeah. I'm on the end. They crossed the bridge. Wow. Ronnie only got one hour of sleep on his non-caster mattress. Ooh, that's not that unusual for me, but it's just, it's, I'm doing that a lot lately, and it's making me feel like a crazy person. I have to mention also before, we're never going to start the show, by the way. Yeah. Someone posted something on our Facebook that I just scrolled across, and I love it. This is from Lauren Cooney. So thank you, Dunning. She posted something that Liza, Liza, you got Liza. Liza. Liza from whatever, Secrets and whatever. She has a sponsored post, you know, when you buy those, but I don't think that people understand that when you buy those, it says, this is sponsored by Facebook. So yeah, it's showing up on everybody's page, but you paid, it's embarrassing. It's why I don't do it that much. We're going to buy some Facebook ads for our podcast, get our numbers up on our page. But at least that's a show. At least that's like an entrepreneurial endeavor, as opposed to your-- Liza. I would never buy to have people like me. It says-- At least not on Facebook. Liza Sandler, sponsored. Excited for secret and wives? Like my page for an exclusive look at Bravo's new hit. Shout! And it's Liza, and she has 4,080 likes. I think we're beating her. So I just imagine that if you go to her page, there's a pop-up of just Susan Spacewing. You know us just, do you feel nauseous? Do you want to see if you feel nauseous? Do you need to throw up Jonathan? Would you like a thumb up your butt? You go to her page and it redirects to a job listing website. Susan's like, "You got Liza, now get a job." Could you imagine? I'm just imagining Cory being like, "This page stinks." And then that makes me think of Jurassic Park when Newman, when they try to get on Newman's computer, and he goes, "Ah, ah, ah, ah." You didn't say the word. I'm imagining Cory being like, "Ah, ah, you didn't say the word, Jonathan." Although she's not Jonathan. What's her? What's her? Sandy. Sandy, you didn't say the word Sandy. You didn't say, "I love you, Sandy." "Ah, ah, ah, can't fix Jurassic Park." You know, it's just the little things with Sandy. So he doesn't give a speech at the anniversary theater. So he gets wasted and starts telling people. So he was throwing up on a hooker behind the trash can. I mean, whatever. It's the little things today. He took my toast out of the toaster and put it on a plate. I mean, it's the little things. I would blow him every day if he just kept doing that. You know what? Sandy, you know what? We don't have a lot of visitors, a truth and beauty in Jurassic Park. But you know what though? I believe in Sandy. We have a vision for Jurassic Park. We sent our friend Liza out there on a test run. She's out in the jeep and she couldn't be safer. Same, like, don't go ahead, go ahead. Liza's in the jeep. T-Rex is stomping towards her. Oh my god, I'm paralyzed. There's a T-Rex. Oh my god, did you see that? There's a T-Rex. Do you hear what I said? There's a T-Rex over there. Oh my god. Andy, Andy, are you look at this in your jeep? There's a T-Rex over there. I'm just, I can't believe it. I was seeing myself. What would happen if the T-Rex got loose? And now the T-Rex is loose. Oh my god, paralyzed. Andy's like, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That T-Rex just got Liza. Liza's like, OK, you know what? I'm going to distract the T-Rex, OK? Here's the flare. Oh my god, Andy, they got flares in here. Oh my god, it's like via island. Except it's in my hand. It's like via stick. Oh my god, I'm going to run. Hey, T-Rex, over here, over here. I just threw the flare. The T-Rex was running after the flare. Oh my god, I just totally got Liza. And Sandy's like, whoa, I'm glad you made me stop selling all the anal massages. Have you seen the butt holes on those things? We kind of made a fortune. You know what? Sometimes Jonathan gets drunk and sticks his thumb up. A dinosaur's butt, that's all. So what? He's a good guy. That's what he does. You know, that's what fun people do. Dinosaur. You'll see that T-Rex getting on mad. I mean, about that specifically. Hey, we're going to put this on Insta. Hey, we're going to put this dinosaur on Insta. Max. Because the dinosaur chasing me. Max, you've got to get out of the kitchen. There's dinosaurs in there. You've got to get out of the kitchen. What'd you do with the kitchen? It's Max. Max, why'd you let the dinosaurs break by table, Max? Max. Max, you've got to get a job, OK? You've got to get a job at Jurassic Park, Max. You know what I would tell that T-Rex to date, Max? I would say, you know what, T-Rex? At the end of the day, I love you. You're my heart. You're my heart. I love you. Let's put it on Insta. Hey, Max. When you let the velociraptist out of the cage, you know what? Like, I understand that got you fired, but was he mean to you? Was John Hammond mean to you when he fired you from Jurassic Park? You make you feel sad, Max, that's not right. You know, I support you. Mom, all I want to do is I just want to be a good dinosaur wrangler, Mom. That's all. Just, you know, I want to be happy when I do it. Max, I get it. I get it, Max. Max. Listen, weight loss drugs and GLP ones are all anybody's talking about right now. They're everywhere, but it's confusing to figure out how to get them. But it doesn't have to be. Through Hymns and Hers, you can get access to a budget-friendly weight loss program personalized just for you. 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Poor Max, you know that poor guy cannot keep any kind of damn job. They would be the first one killed in that thing. He would be that little homely kid that almost got killed in the cage. Or the big new one. Yeah, oh, absolutely. Hey Arthur, are you gonna go reset the power, dress, park, Arthur? Okay, you gonna have me do it? Okay, Arthur. She'd be like, I'm out of this fucking island. That T-Rex is mean to me. You know, I know the T-Rex will come around. Yeah, sure, it killed Max. It ain't Max, sure. And sure, I pushed me down the other day, made me feel real bad about myself. But at the end of the day, that T-Rex got me a used VW. And that's love. That's love. You know, it's like, this this this park would be great. But you know, how I can Arthur came in and just ruined all the systems. I'm out of here. This is stupid. Oh god, I finally saw that Jurassic Park movie. Can you tell? Like, I know what you're talking about now. The new one. I'm talking about I'm talking about the original Jurassic Park. Oh, I finally saw the new one. I wanted them all to die. I was like, bye. You're all stupid. This movie sucks. Bye. And also they kept that movie is so fattest. They killed every fat person in the movie. They killed almost every black person. They have like the the black guy that they didn't kill. And of course he was like a Nobel Peace Prize winning, you know, like an AIDS doctor from whatever. I was like, come on. Training the Velociraptors. It's funny because the entire, all the dinosaurs in Jurassic World did actually resemble everyone in Secrets of Wives. It's like, oh, there's Susan. There's Liza. There's Andy. Core is flying. Oh, look, all the core has got loose. Also, whoever made that movie hates nannies. That was the most violent death scene I've seen in a long time of killing that nanny. I was like, damn. Oh, I talk about when, uh, are you talking about when Susan ate the nanny in the water? So that was actually Jonathan who ate the nanny. He's like, well, I was going to eat her. But then I decided to get my finger up a button. Slumber back down, then either again, the slumber back down, then either. And then we both eaten. Well, he was like, you know what? I was just like, shut up. I'm sick of hearing you nanny. I'm sick of them. I'm just going to eat you. Jonathan, you feel nauseous now that you ate the nanny? Jonathan. All right. Let's move on to Real Housewives of Orange Candy. Sorry, God damn it. Sorry, my, I mean, not that my voices are ever unpointed, but they are especially up. Like, if I do a high-pitched voice, it hurts my throat. So all my, all my lady voices are like, hey, well, we could just do them all today. Like the cast of Secrets and Wise. You want to do Secrets and Wise Goes to Orange County? No, no, we'll do it normally. So Orange County, Orange County, for those of you who have been patiently waiting for us to get to Orange County, Megan's voice opens a show so you know we're in trouble. Whenever it starts with previously on Real Housewives of Orange County. Like, oh no, here we go. Yeah. So it's the day after they all got shit faced. Tamara wakes Vicki up and they're like, oh, we're so funny. We're so drunk. And then they have a flashback montage of them being drunk together. And Tamara's sitting on bus boys' faces and Vicki being down like water slides and stuff. Oh, so cute. Yeah. Blah, blah, blah. Shannon went home drunk and she did not get laid, but this whole episode, she's like, oddly happy. There's like this genuine smile on Shannon's face this episode. Yeah, well, I think she had a really good session with the nebulizer. David, I feel like I have all of my proteins and amino acids flowing through my lungs. I felt my tonsils again, David. And those were taken out when I was in kindergarten. But the reason she was in such a good mood is she went home wasted and then ate all the care of me. Oh, yeah, the real. I ate a small bag of candy, David. David, I can't do this. Even worse, when I was drunk, I had some bread and cheese and bread and cheese. David, I cheated. No, David, it's not the same. No, David, you're not off. David, negative thoughts, negative thoughts. David is not, no, we are not equal now. I just cheated with bread and cheese, bread and cheese. That's all, David. I didn't get married to Jolly Ranchers, David. So when I had some chocolate covered strawberries and wherever the hell we are, it wasn't cheating. Do you understand that we were on a break, David? I was on a break from Jolly Ranchers. No, David, it's not the same. David, unlike you, I did not bring my pizza to every restaurant in Orange County and humiliate my wife. No, I will not make a list of all the candy I had, David. And I don't appreciate that sarcasm. OK, not the same thing, David. David, my bag of candy won't be friends. You wouldn't ask you how everything's going, David. Uh, yeah, so we get to that in a little while. I don't even know. I told you I have a ton of notes to make notes. Lead it. I will chime in with my folder. But yeah, I have some questions about that. But she's like, I have the candy. And then Megan's like, yeah, you know why I'm not hungover? Because I'm not old. Yeah, how about it's also because you had like a thimble of vodka in your lamb half of the party last night? Age has nothing to do with it. You know why? Because 22 year olds get wasted and get hangovers. So shut the fuck up. I'm like, I'm king admins. I've got to. I wish I recorded that Megan King admin. So I could play it every time on this podcast. Um, Heather needs to be murdered. I'm rooting for the mittens. Heather actually, because I forgot. I don't know if this happened after before. But Heather comes into Vicki in Tamara's room and she's like, OK, we're going to have fun now. Everybody, come on. We're going to have fun. This is what we do on vacation. We do things. I have a list. Like, oh my god. She's like, this is how I wake up my kids too. This is, this is, I'm just going to treat you like my kids. This is, as if she doesn't treat them like her kids every other moment of the day. She's like, all right, we're going to have fun. And it's like, hey, America, look at me. I am goofy, funny. Heather de Bro. And look at me, king, these women out of bed and having fun. I am a fun, laid back woman who does not have any lists in life at all. Carefree, de Bro. This is what I do. I come in, I wake up the kids and then if they're not up the third time, I let the illegals come in and spray them with a hose. You don't want that, do you? You don't want that. I'm a good mom, Heather. What are the people? What are the people, right? What are the people? What are the people? Where's Coco? Where's my method? Shimp at loss. And Tamara keeping it classy as ever. Tamara's one of those girls. You know, when there's that girl in the bar who's like, I'm so drunk. Like that sorority girl who just wants anybody to fuck her. Like she just likes, she's like, I don't even care. It's like an invitation to have like date rape or something. She's just like, I'm going to waste it. That's Tamara at all times and honey. Stop, stop. You know, think of yourself like a nice glass of milk. There's an expiration date on it, okay? Yeah. It's delicious, but you know, eventually someone either drinks it or it just expires in curdles. Yeah. Put yourself on the fridge, Tamara. That's my advice. Yeah. Yeah. And doesn't work well with booze either, I would like to add. I like when Heather is trying to be one with the people and she's she's like cracking jokes, but they're all Catskills jokes. They are totally, I don't think of the same thing. She's so Catskills-y. She's very like, not victim-on. He was a singer. Where did I hear that name recently? I don't know. You know, Victor Borgo maybe. She is very much like, you should like, bad Jackie Mason, where you know that her jokes really only work at the Sator table, where her parents like, oh, Heather, you know, he's such a pistol. That hit us a cod. Dickey, I just want to say that your color is nice today. You have the color of a drowned rat. What? What do you, Amy? I was like, says, says the woman who has the face of a polar bear. You're so pale. I wish I still worked at the Jupiter dinner theater, because I know Heather will be coming through there at any moment. Do I cast your salmon? Well, let me tell you about the cabinets. Whoa, can I do anything more for this household cod? I'm a mom, and I'm also a maid. Call me maid, mom. Shut up, Heather. Stop it. Made in momhattan. So Shannon, we get, we cut to Shannon with that fucking sucker thing. What is it? I put an accountability. David, it's the nebulizer. Why? David, why can't you learn about my rehabilitation tools, David? David, this is very important to me. David, the fact that you can't even remember the things that I need to breathe makes me very concerned, because this is what I need to live. And if you can't even pay enough attention to know what it takes for me to breathe in your presence, it means that I think you want me dead. You're a lie, Shannon Bador, killed by her husband, by his infidelity, and lack of attention to her medical needs. David, David. You're a lie, Shannon. You're a lie, Shannon Bador. Died of an overdose. One extra negative thought. Finally took her down. David, my negative thoughts are now in the 41 to 51 range today, and I'm not very happy about that. Are there caterpillars in this country? Because I need to take the juice from the testicle of one, insert it into my earlobe, so I can get rid of these negative thoughts for the Dave. Hey, man. [laughter] Hey, man. So Heather's version of fun makes me want to kill me and herself, I wrote. Then they went on some boat with Gerard Teppadu. He looked like he looked like a fat version of Jacques Luan's ex. Oh my god, maybe that's what happened to him. He's like, oh, he's like, I can't even say what he's like. I'm like, he's like, and I was like, I have nothing. I have no idea what he's like. He's just fat Jacques. Yeah, he's fat Jacques. He's like, where did Jacques go? I'm going to go diving. No, I'm in the ocean. He had the best idea of all. He's like, let me put a weight on all these women's head and see who comes up. The ocean doesn't cheat on you with a man wearing eyeliner. The ocean is my refresh. The fish are all like, yeah, humans are here. We get to play like, oh, damn, no, it's these bitches again. Heather, so they were doing this like 30,000 leagues under the sea. What's that right? 30,000, 20,000 or 60,000, 20,000 million leagues under the sea. Don't don't sell each of Jules Verne's legacy with these women running. 20,000 junior leagues under the sea. Like, that's totally my pal Strandha. Ursula's like, ah, my peeps. Oh, I have an Ursula thing later. This is our second, we're at our second Ursula reference of the podcast, so why not go for that? So, sure, that part too. Okay, so they're getting on these like big uniform water uniforms. I know nothing about the ocean telling. It's basically one of these weighted helmets that goes on your head and the water doesn't come into it because there's pressure. It's like, if you take a straw and you top your finger over the top and put it into a soda, the liquid doesn't go up into the straw because of amprash and stuff like that. So, anyway, this whole concept was very confusing to the women. Heather gave me hope. Heather gave me hope for the first time ever on this show, when she said, water can fill up in this thing and you can drown. I was like, well, thank you. Thank you for the light at the end of the tunnel, at least. I know, she's like, well, anyway, here I go. They're like, yay, go, go, water, go, water, go, water. Wish me luck. Terry might find this really sexy. Can someone FaceTime Terry? Okay, if he can fit me in to his celebrity lifestyle? That guy. Oh, God. So, Ursula, oh, look, I already got to Ursula. It was right after 80 million leagues under the sea. Ursula, okay, do you know who looks just like Ursula? This is so mean to say. Lizzie in that thing has Ursula face, but like Ursula. Ursula before she became like, you know, fat and evil. It was like the Ursula before her life was destroyed by some slum mermaid. She's pre Ursula. Yeah, it was like still happy Ursula. I was like, oh, no, Lizzie. If she would turn into real Ursula, she'd make this show a lot better. And she'd secure herself a spot. Yeah, she would. Can you imagine there's, and you know what, with if Lizzie had eight arms, imagine all the bathing suits she could design at once. Here's the bikini and here's the bikini and here's the bikini. Do you know how many horizontal lines I can draw with eight arms? Do you know how many triangles with little bows on them I could draw at once? Oh my God, the line would be done at once. Um, I don't know why I'm writing about some of this. Okay, so then we get to Megan and Tamara talk about marriage. Okay, well, so now here's what, here, here, here's where the bullshit of the episode begins. Okay, so Megan and Tamara are on the boat. Everyone also had the good idea to get off the boat, leave those two there. Okay, so they're on the boat and Tamara's like, you know, it's funny because it's so funny because Jim's second life came up in conversation last night. Yeah, because you brought her up Tamara. Don't act like it just like happened other reasons. Like you brought her up Tamara. So Tamara tells the story, she's like, peace be with you and also with you. So you hang out with the tram. That's great. That came up. Tamara's like, you know, in between me learning about Christianity from my Christianity from Dummy's book, I forgot to tell you about this that, um, uh, so basically, for those of you who don't remember the previous episode, Tamara brought up the fact that Heather is still friends with Jim's second wife and, and Tamara's like, it's sort of weird. You know, if I were friends with the, with the second wife, I, I find a little weird to be friends with the third wife. And then Megan just was like, you know, you know, Megan and like, yeah, that's weird. And Megan's like, yeah, that's very strange. That's like a, that's like a, almost like a violation of a girl code, you know. Oh, Shannon, Shannon. Did I say Megan? Sorry. Megan, Megan. Megan. Megan King. Um, Shannon. She did kind of go off at that thing. She was like, well, that's not a girl code. And who does that? And I would have a problem. And if Miss Heather do, bro, thinks that she can hang out with one of David's mistresses, well, we're going to have trouble because that is not girl code. That truth will come out. So, um, but, you know, so Shannon did go off, you know, but she's also going off this, you know, to be fair, I do think that Tamara egged on that sort of conversation where she was like, isn't it weird? And it's like, you know, when sometimes people say, isn't it weird? Sometimes if you're drunk, you get like all high and mighty and you go on a little, go on a little soapbox moment. So anyway, yeah, or when you're on a podcast. Yeah. So Tamara brings this up to Megan and she's like, okay. Cause I just feel like everything should be out in the open that this came up. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So not that I have to say this did not have to come out in the open because if, if, if Tamara were interested in it being out in the open, she should have told Heather, because Heather was the, the butt of the scrutiny, not Megan. Megan King, admins. So the fact that Tamara told Megan shows she was ready to stir the pot. Yeah, because Tamara is doing nothing. She doesn't even work at her own effing gym. Okay. That woman does nothing. And if she's not going to cause shit for no reason or make stuff up, then she's got to get everyone else in a fight. And I do think that Tamara is hilarious with this Christianity thing. It is killing me. This whole like, well, you know, I'm a different person now. And before I would have like said something and then like it would have been a fight, but because I don't want people to victimize me like they did last year in ballet. And then they cut to her in ballet going, you'll never see my face again. And then like running away and like, yeah, the promises promises stunning. But yeah, she, they showed that victim, that victim moment of hers. Well, she, she hides behind morality. She hides behind like Christianity now. And now she's hiding behind this thing, this, this faux sentiment of, I just want everything to be out in the open. Well, if you wanted everything out to be out in the open, you would have told everyone. When everyone was there altogether, there wouldn't have been this game of telephone that later plagued these women at dinner. But we'll get to that. Oh, yeah. Cause Megan is not ever going to hide anything ever. That's, I mean, she is like a typical miss 30 year old. Third. She hears one thing and everyone hears it. She talks shit. I'm like, yes. No, and I'm like, it'll be like, it'll be like, if, if you tell Megan that, oh, so, so Shannon had a pretzel. Later at dinner, Megan will be like, well, there is an elephant in the room. And I think we all know who's been eating pretzels and lots of them. And I'll be shining. Yeah, then I'll be like, what? I ain't, I, I did not have pretzels. I hadn't candy. I start pretzels, Megan. I start snacks. I start snacks, Megan. Megan, Megan. Um, yeah, Tamara's ridiculous. But I'm loving that she is just so boldly hiding behind the street. Oh, yeah, I love that she does it. But I'm like, oh, funny. But I have to call shit bullshit on her too at the same time. Well, we were wrong because, you know, first of all, I get the, I get what the ladies are saying, if you're friends with the original wife and then you're friends with the successive wife or whatever, I get all that. But this is, it is California. Okay. Well, everybody fucks in the same circle. And they have 10 wives by the time they're dead. If you stopped talking to everybody that was married to somebody you know, you would not have anybody to invite to dinner at the Olive Garden. Okay. Yeah, and, and also it is, I mean, I do think it's strange, but I also think if that, if that wife is fine with it, then it's no one's business, Shannon. And also, of course, by the way, Jim Edmond's second wife, of course, she's not going to have a problem because Heather, as much as we talked about Heather, in the Orange County, like, like social ladder, Heather is probably much higher than this second wife. This jumps ex baseball wife versus Heather, who is building, you know, the Palace of Versailles, you know, in Justin. Yeah, in Justin. Yeah. And then Megan's like, all these ladies want to do is talk about me. I mean, why don't they get their own things to talk about? Why don't they talk about their own lives? Mike, please do not suggest that they talk about their own lives. Is this, is this, is this, is this? Knock knock. Who is this? Megan King Edmond's. Oh, I, I'm not familiar. Megan King Edmond's is here to talk about you, about you talking about me. I didn't, I never answered the door, Megan. I, I never, you said, I knock knocked. You have to answer the door. That's the law. I'm a 30 year old. Why are you, why are you so old? Seriously. My kids are in the hidden room, Megan. My kids are in the hidden room. Who knock knocks? Who does that? My kids are in their room, Megan. Is this why I'm secret? Is this knock knock live? No, it's Megan King Edmond's. So I think we got our first intro to the new wife because they're, you know, this old, this, and I don't mean old because I don't know. She's probably 10 for all I know. He, she was probably like straight out of a, you know, cradle or whatever. Out of content. Out of a content cradle for all I know with that baseball. Content England. Content England darling. Content England darling. But when they ask the producers ask Megan and the camera thing about her and she's like, Well, I don't like to talk about it. But let's just say that she's not a very happy person. Yeah. Well, yeah, because, you know, because you're throwing out all her nicely appointed furniture for your Tuscan shit. Because some 30 year old slut is trying to make her kids call you mommy. Yeah. And you're riding on the back of her things with the Sharpie to sell it in the state sale before she's even dead. Yeah. That's why. Yeah. Exactly. Okay. So, pop, pop, pop, Vicki and Shannon on the beach and their heartfelt discussion on the beach. By the way, I would like to add something. I thought Shannon looked great this episode. I like when Shannon pulls her hair back like that. She looked great and she did look very refreshed. So good for you, Shannon, Dr. Moon's therapy and the nebulizer are working. Yeah, but you know, it's also one of those things where people who are always dining have a piece of pizza and they're suddenly like thrilled. Bitch had a piece of candy. Tell me about it. Tell me about it. Tell me about it. Dr. Moon, I had some sugar and it changed my life. Get your thumb out of my ass. We're done. I'm done with you, Dr. Moon. You've lied to me this whole time. All I needed was an M&M. So Vicki and Shannon on the beach. So this discussion was sweet. Because basically, Shannon is so underhanded. Everything she says is shady. She was saying to Vicki, well, thank you because when that stuff happened with David, I called you and you were really there for me. You came right over. You took care of me. You didn't tell anyone. And that's a real friend. That's what real, thank you for being a real friend who didn't tell anybody about what happened. Because, you know, last time I tried to have a private conversation on national TV. Yeah, back to Tamara. Thank you for giving me a secret on national TV. And Tamara did exactly the same thing last year as she's doing this year. Yeah, so Shannon's husband is like fucking somebody. I mean, I don't know. Maybe I feel bad for her though. I'm just trying to get it out in the open because I feel bad for her batch. So Vicki's like, well, you know, I think it's important to remember that in every relationship that divorce happens, you know, one of the spouses is going to cheat. And, you know, I wish I could have told myself back then when I had done, I wish I could have just said, you know, Vick's put up with it. Have an open relationship. Fuck a toothless guy from the south if you need to, the most child support. You're free to do that, you know. But if you actually get a divorce down, it's going to take half of your things. And that's the end of it, Shannon. Shannon's like, wow, thanks. Great talk. By the way, I have to give a shout out to our listener. I'm sorry. I didn't write down your name. One of our listeners wrote on our Facebook page that when we do our Vicki impersonations that when you do it, you make Vicki sound like she's from Minnesota. And when I do it, I make her sound like she's Irish. Well, don't you know, Don? Top of the morning to insurance, life insurance. See you. I have no Irish in me. I mean, I actually do, but like my accents are so fucked up because of all these shows. Because it's like, once I own it on one accent, all my other accents, like, it's like, I have a base accent and then all the rest of them are adjusted off of that base accent. And now that the base accent has moved from British to Melbourne. Now all my base accents have been adjusted. Accordingly, it's like a color wheel. The color wheel has been rotated. And all the accents are all skewed in so many different ways. Well, the Real Housewives of Melbourne have kind of threw in the color wheel. They have taken tanning to a level that's offensive. It's offensive. Yeah. Let's face it. I mean, even Andy Cohen's tanning is strange now. He's brown now. Yeah. It's like this weird new tanning where it's like orange brown. It's not just orange. It's like orange brown. It's weird. It looks chalky. It looks like a tiffle flip a bit. I grew up bored. I grew up chalky brown. And this is why I'm releasing chalky brown flipped a bit of makeup. Andy looks south Asian now. Maybe Lydia's going to adopt him as a child. She's going to go to the 71th floor of the skyscraper and sign the adoption papers. And if I can't do that, then I'll put it in the post. Yes, I would like to adopt this baby. I'm subscribing to this baby. Send me a bell. It's just exactly. Andy Cohen is exactly the sort of child that I would like. I can't believe his parents made a child just for me. So, okay. So anyway, back to the Shannon. Back to the beach. Shannon always has these like these ulterior motives. So she's saying like, thank you for, you know, she got the tamar thing out of the way. And then she was like, no matter what, that's really what people do. And Vicki was looking at her like, oh yeah, no problem. You know that you have to stand up for books when everybody's lying to saying he's lying about cancer, right? You don't know that you're on book side now, right? 'Cause yeah, you know, a friend's duel, right? Free trip to Andele's in it for you. You know, I have to say though, so this conversation was actually pretty surprising because Shannon gives more details about the affair that David had. Oh my God. And you learned that this woman that David, so David started the affair pretty much right before the beginning of last season, like right before Shannon first met Vicki. And this woman actually befriended Shannon and then started asking Shannon about like, you know, how it's relationship doing and yada, yada, yada, yada. And it was really fucked up because this is the woman who was having a affair with David. And I have to admit like that, that is a mind fuck. And I don't know how Shannon could ever trust anyone again after that. Well, it also shows that the mistress is really personable because it's not easy to be French, Shannon. Maybe it was Danielle from last season with the gay husband. Yeah. She's like, well, I need to get it from somewhere. Yeah, a lot of babies there. Did she say who this woman, she didn't say who it was, right? Like were they, no, she didn't. And if it were Danielle, I'm sure she would have been very happy to smear her name all over the show. And I'm sure the producers would have been very happy to keep it up at Danielle. It's a full time gas member. Yeah. And then Vicki was shocked to hear all this information. You know, David, who fucking does that? They get a reality show and they start having an affair immediately. You're on a show called to Real Housewives with cameras in your house. They've installed fucking cameras in your house. David, David. And now you're going to start fucking somebody. Oh my God. David. David. All right. So they had this conversation. So what happened after the conversation? Okay. Blah, blah, blah, secret keeper score, blah, blah, dinner. Then they went to dinner, right? Yeah, then they went to dinner and then Tamara had to woo and yell about weiners being out again because it's like Tamara, we get it. Okay. Jesus Christ. You look like a chicken liver wrapped up in Saran wrap. Okay. And like laid on the grill of a fridge. Just stop. Like, what are you trying to prove? Okay. You cannot go backwards. Press and seal. Press and seal, darling. That's the model of Tamara's life. Mm hmm. Press and seal her up. Throw away in the fridge. So I just wrote their patterns are less classy than the actual, like, towels that the dancers are wearing. And then Shannon was saying, wait, who? Who was saying, did you talk about me last night? It was Megan, right? Oh, no, it was. Oh, yeah. So because Tamara told Megan this, then Megan is. Oh, yeah. So did you guys talk about me last night? Which is such a tacky question to ask. And so what a stupid one she is. I don't know. I'll come to Morea. Would you like to hear the appetizers? Would you like to hear about people talking about me? Seriously? So they're like, no, actually, we didn't talk about you. And then they're like, well, she's like, well, I heard you said this and that, you know. And then it started this whole crazy thing. And then it started the Tamara, Kristen. Well, we were talking because we cared and we were talking about our feelings and your feelings about Jim's kids and how sweet they are. And then Heather jumped in. And then Heather jumped in because at this point, Heather had heard clearly from either Megan or from Tamara about what they were saying. And she's like, oh, yeah, Shannon, I heard that you had a lot of things to say about me. And Shannon's like, well, I wasn't, well, I, whoa, whoa. And then Shannon's like, all I said was, you know, like, I thought I was straight. You know, like, I thought I was just talking about this. I had your narrative, whatever, you know, she was saying this. And then so then Heather turns around to Tamara. And Heather's like, Tamara, you told me this. And then they're like, Tamara, what have you been saying? And suddenly it all turned on Tamara. As it should. As it should. And Heather's so dramatic. She's like, oh, yeah, I heard you called me a horrible person. Because no, we did, but that's not how they would word it. Come on. Yeah. And I mean, to be fair, the women really weren't coming. We've seen these women come down hard on people. And this was more like light, you know, light agitation, you know. Yeah, I think he's just like, oh, yeah, you know, we already said the stuff that we were saying behind you back to your face. You know, it's all this stuff about how we'd murder you if you tried to pretend our kids were your own or how about you're not the real mother of those kids and you should stop acting like it or how you should stop crying when you're the third slut that this guy's me. I mean, come on, Megan. What do you want? Don't work. I'm going to walk. And then, and then I think it was around this time before the bathroom break, right? Wasn't this when they started talking about, were they talking about Haley here? Were they talking about Haley at the second dinner? Probably the second dinner, right? I didn't write anything Haley down, but of course I never write the important things. Well, at some point, whatever, this may have happened later, but at some point, actually, I think it was the second dinner. I'll just wait to the second dinner for the Haley stuff because Vicki talked about how, yes, it was. Sorry. Sorry, everyone on the listening to the podcast. So what happened? She didn't go off in this one, but she was saying it was like general stuff. She's like, Megan, look, here's what a step parent is supposed to do, okay? But she did the second dinner, so we'll get to that because she was like lecturing about step parenting. Yeah, that's later. So what happened was, then Shannon and Vicki go to the bathroom because they're like, annoyed. So they go to the bathroom and the bathroom is talking about like, you know, when you say one thing and it gets back to them, it's like, in the game of telephone, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, right? So then Tamara then goes to the bathroom and then she's, now, she's complaining. She's like, how did I get turned to the bad one? No, no, no, no. I was just trying to keep everything out in the open. And now I like, people are coming after me now. Like, why am I coming after me? Totally coming after me. What a batch. Like, uh, yeah, because you just got Heather involved in all sorts of shit. She's, and she's trying to act like the victim. Classic Tamara. A media camera trying to turn everyone against Heather the night before. And yeah, exactly. Now, Tamara's like, I don't understand. I'm just trying to be a good Christian. And Tamara said seriously, which I thought was hilarious because she has not said that for a while, but she used to say it all the time. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously, bitch. Seriously. You're saying it a lot last night. She's saying seriously and really like, really? Really? Seriously. Seriously. Seriously, bitch. So then, meanwhile, at the table, Shannon's there with Megan and Heather and Lizzie. Or did Heather go into the bathroom also? I think Heather went to the bathroom too. Heather went to the bathroom too. Because she knows Tamara, but if she doesn't go to the bathroom, Tamara's going to have everybody believing that Heather's some terrorist or something. So Heather's there. They're all, they're all sorting things out in the bathroom. This leaves Shannon with Lizzie and Megan King-Admins. Oh my god. And so, I think Shannon makes a comment being like, "Someone here is a monster, which is true because everyone was happy until..." I like how she said it like she's in Clue. She's like, "There's a potster among us." Well, let's have a whole different theater about it. A thunderclap. Matter-like tissues. Soft, strong, disposable. But sometimes it's worth taking one out of the trash can and unwrapping it, just using it for the rest of your life. Because are you ever going to find a better tissue? Are you? Are you? But you're always going to blow them. So then she says there's a potster. And then Megan was Megan's response just to say, "There you go again with your judge, y'all." Well, they started talking about the Heather thing, and then Shannon was saying, "Yeah, there's a potster." And then Lizzie was like, "Yeah, there's a potster. Her name is Tamara." And she does it to everybody. Yeah. And Megan's like, "What? You guys, she's my friend." And they're like, "Wow, whatever. Your friend likes stirring." "Your friend has got a really big wooden spoon that she enjoys stirring pots of shit with." So there you go. That's your friend. Have fun. And I love Lizzie and the... Lizzie and the confession has been like, "We've been down this path, so Megan just, you know, shut up. Just shut your mouth. You're going to lose Lizzie for you." Why don't you just be quiet? Look, of course I'm not a regular this season, but I still get free trips and free dinners. And look, people are donating me clothes. Just be quiet. The life is good. Okay, Megan? The life is good. So then it does get quiet. And then Megan's like, "There you go again, Shannon, with your judgey eyes." And Shannon's like... "Judgey eyes." It's like, what? They're on judgey eyes. Megan, I don't have judgey eyes. They're called expressions. Megan, can you advance? It's like, well, I'm sorry about, you know, have their broke girl coat. If you're... If you're with a man that's cheating, and your man that cheated on you has a woman that becomes friends with another woman, that becomes friends with you, and you don't see a problem with that, well, I have a problem with you, not seeing a problem with that. Mr. Bro. Okay? That's it. I worked really hard to get our relationship back. Judgey eyes. Judgey eyes. Judgey eyes. I wish I could check my nebulizer and stuff it down. Megan, can you advance the roads? But then that would be too nice, because she would have wonderful lungs. You know one thing I've noticed about Bravo's version of girl code, which is why I love it, because every show is talking about girl code now, at the same time. And I love that they're talking about it, because girl code always has to do with women attacking each other. It's like, why do you blame the other women for every single thing that happens in your life? And nobody blames the man. Look at all the shit that David has gotten away with, and Shannon is like fine. Well, she's not fine, but she's fine with that, but she's never going to let Heather's seat fight in the Houston's go, you know? And she shouldn't, by the way. She shouldn't, because Shannon earned that chair fair and square. Yeah, totally agree, but you know, she's still not going to let it go. And it's like, you know, first, she's trying to steal my chair and make me feel crazy. And now, oh God, Shannon. So anyway, blah, blah, blah, Lizzy. I love Tamara. I love Tamara. I love Tamara. Oh, and then Megan goes, she tells us. I just, I mean, is it me? I haven't seen any evidence of Tamara acting like that. Bitch, please, you have a TV, right? Yeah, it's not like this is a book series or something that we're expecting you to like read, okay? You have a fucking TV, lady. Yeah, it's so stupid. You're stupid. You're stupid. And then she's like, oh, there you go. Shannon, with your judgy eyes again. She's like, ah-ha-ha. I don't have judgy eyes. I just have an opinion. It's an expression, Megan. Expression. I don't judge, okay? I do referee in the game of girl code, but that's not judging. That's just calling the line. All right, Megan? I have only 10 to 13 judgments per day, Megan, okay? Much lower than yours. Ugh. Megan, I think it happens. So then they come back and they get into separate golf carts. Oh my god. I just feel bad. Poor Lizzie. Lizzie seems like such a nice person, but she never is in the good cart. She's never in the good ocean expedition. She's never at the good side of the table. Lizzie's just sitting back there collecting gift bags, basically. Yeah. She, and by the way, those women were drunk and racing those golf carts. I mean, I was, I thought there was going to be just an enormous collision. I thought it was going to end in a very tragic way. That might not be true. Hey, Tamara, Shannon said you're a potster. Ah, what a betch. I do not stir pot. I mean, who says that? What a betch. Really? Seriously? Pot? Gotta... I'm stirring the pot, Shannon. It's called a pot of... You're a betch still, okay? It's almost ready. Megan is so... First of all, I loved how Tamara was shocked that she'd be called this. And I love how Megan is just saying it as if she's not a potster herself. And she's just, she's so thirsty. She just wants to be... She wants to be Tamara's little minions so badly and she's so awful. So yeah, so she tells us to Tamara. And then when they arrive at wherever they are, they all start fighting again. Because... Someone's like, "Oh, I love your purse, honey." Someone goes, "I love your purse." And she's like, "Oh, ready, betch?" Does my purse look like a potster? Yeah, that's right. Really, Tamara, this is why you can never win, okay? Just saying things in a bitchy tone doesn't make it a comeback of any kind. No, your purse is not a potster, okay? Of course, it's not a fucking potster. I mean, it could be. A really strange pot. Have your large pot. It doesn't even make any sense. Does my purse look like a potster? Batch. And Shannon's like, "Now what you do? You look like your, your stirrer of a pot. Looks like you work soup. You look like someone's been working a ladle over there." Miss Tamara Barney. Just Tamara Barney, George. She's like, "Now I can't even say a thing without it being turned into a game on telephone within two minutes of it." David. David, why aren't you calling me on the telephone speaking of what? David. David. Call your mistress right now, David. If I call right now, will there be a business signal? David. David. David. People want to throw out, oh, Tamara. People want to throw me under the bus. Yeah, just like that's all you do. It's all you do. Okay, Shannon, for a second, I thought Megan King. Oh, yeah. For a second, I thought Megan King Edmonds and I could repair. Oh, no, no. So then Shannon goes on this whole thing of that. It's not what I said. I did not say that. I did not say anything about girl code or Heather completely betraying womanhood by being friends with the mistress. I didn't say anything like that. How dare you turn it around? It's like, yeah, you did. Yeah, yeah, it's exactly what you said, actually. At least it's owned up to it. And I have enough shit. Hand wave. Okay, so then Shannon gets really mad and starts waving her hand in that. The truth will come out. Yeah, and then she gets really mad and starts pointing a crooked finger, which I just love that. Oh, you've done it to me before. I don't even know why I'm surprised. Here we are again. Here we are again. I set my, I got your password for your my iCloud and you think I can't see where you are, but I can see where you are, Megan King's admin. I can see where you are. Listen, lady, keep your poking. Keep poking at me, Megan. Keep it up. Megan. And then of course, another brilliant put down, Shannon's like, I'll bet if you looked under that dress of Megan King Edmunds, you'd find a pair of nuts. You'd find a pair of balls there. All right. Yeah, she's got some balls that one. She's a man. She's literally a man. She's just a man when I said it. Megan King Edmunds. I start, I start general searches. I can understand wanting to become a man. I can understand wanting to become a woman, but wanting to become a Megan. Do that. And then they're like, how's everybody doing? And Tamara's like, I'm hurt to be honest. That's because like, I was just trying to put everything. Okay, you say I'm stirring the pot. I was trying to make soup. Okay, and then serve it to you guys and like, put it on the table. And then we could all sip the soup together and like, talk about how it tastes. Let's say grace and thank the Lord. And now you've ruined grace. Now there's no soup. Rub-a-dub-dub. Thanks for the grub. Dickey's a batch. Yay, God. Come to cut fitness. So blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. From my experience, shut up, blah, blah, blah. I'm nuts. Oh, then Tamara's like, I'm crazy. I'm going into the ocean, but she is. You're a whore, Shannon. They're throwing the flinging champagne bottles like Moet, like into, is it Moet or Moet? I don't know, I don't know. But flinging into the ocean, you're just awful. Awful, awful, wastrels. I didn't even see that. That's not good. Shannon was wearing a ponto from Anthropologie. Tamara talks to Heather. Oh, and then we get to Tamara's The Bible for Demi's. Oh, my God. Of course she has that. That's down from Alexis Bellino, I'm sure, who didn't even understand it. It wasn't an audio book. It's too rare. You can have it. Too advanced for Alexis. She's like, do you want this? I don't understand it. If you go into the picture book. If you can find the play, if you can find the play, but you're welcome to it. She's like, I don't understand. Nothing pops up. Who was she telling that to Heather? She was telling someone like, yeah, I mean, like, Jesus, Batch. I mean, what a guy. Like he was hot, you know? If Jesus was alive today, he'd totally be a member of comfitness. Totally. Have you seen his abs? I mean, he works those things for sure. And then I'd tell him a house. And then I'd tell him all about what Judas has been up to, but I'm not a monster. It would be really nice to know someone like hot and worth hanging out. It's actually poorer than me because I never have that in my social circle. So she's talking about her stupid Bible steady thing. And she's like, yeah, it's like, we're studying it. But like in a new way, you know, like in a different way, I'm meeting with the pastor. Yeah, she's a pastor. Thank you for remembering that. Finally, I understand what they mean when they're like pasteurizing milk. Like, oh, I'm never going to drink an unpaid for carton of milk again, Batch. I hope someday to devote myself to religion long enough that I can become a meadow. It's like, until like, until I get to pasture level, I'm just a haystack. But I'm willing to work my way out, Jesus. So they go to another place. I don't know. They traveled again. And then I noticed, okay. So what happened was at this point, they took a ferry back to the main island in Tahiti. And that was when on the ferry, that's when Vicki said that she bought, she's buying a towel for Brianna because she just loves to spoil her kids. She's like, no matter how old they are, you just love to spoil your children. So she says that, right? I'm even putting those little family stickers on the back of it. It's her, Ryan, the baby, me. And then just a symbol for cancer, because I know that she, I couldn't find something handsome enough to be Brooke's face on the back of there. And she didn't want it on her towel. So what are you going to do? I, and then I also took a little, I took something of the, the Declaration of Independence from, from conjunction, junction, animation show, whatever that was. And I put it on there and I pretended it's a life term insurance, term life insurance. I can't speak English today. Too much to heedy. You know, I didn't put anything of Brooks on the car, but I did put a bumper sticker that says, don't feed cancer. Don't tell Brianna. And then I also put up a picture of the couch, which has been preserved thanks to Ryan. No feed allowed on the couches. Oh, gosh, I do anything for Brianna, you know, Brianna. I love Brianna. Like cancer loves bread. Let's just, I've, I said it there. I'm addicted. I also got her a bumper sticker from underlays. So what is the deal? I don't know if I've ever noticed this before or why it matters, but are they using the Real House as Beverly Hills Apple Loops at this point? Has this show completely given up? Because the music was... I was like, wait a second. They don't use the same music on all the shows, do they? No, and, and, and as long as they don't use the Real House as a New York City swanky bassoon, I'll be happy because that is pure. Like, that's the sound of Luann arriving somewhere. It's like that. It's like there's like a... Yeah, it's like, it's like Luann is arriving to your old brows dresses or to drink tea with someone. Like, nothing says New York like horns coming out of a Casio keyboard. Just do the theme in that. They look great. But it's, it's not just any Real Housewives of Beverly Hills music. It's the music that they play when they go to Lisa's house. Yeah, it was like... Yeah, it's the one where they're like doing helicopter shots. Yeah, yeah, they're not allowed to put that to sully that music with... There are certain, there are certain Apple Loops that cannot be sullied. One is the Lisa Vanderpump Mansion exterior music, and one is the Luann bassoon. Okay, do not put those on other franchises. Those are proprietary. Yeah, Lisa has swans. Okay, that's like already she's nothing like these. Ladies, please stop. So, so anyways, so when they get to Tahiti, I believe the next thing we see is they go out to dinner, right? Oh wait, I'm so sorry, I have one more note. I'm so sorry, I just keep talking about stupid things. I have no notes, so I'm relying on you. But just because we're racking on Tamara's Christianity, I love, love, love that Tamara said with a straight face. We'd love to spoil our kids. Like, you don't even know. It even says in the Bible you should help your family. Let's talk about all the help that Tamara gives her kids. I mean, look, I let my son not put towels on shelves. So, I mean, look, that's what the Bible said. You know, spoil your children, spoil them rotten. Oh God, you're doing a great job. I'm sure that's what the Bible meant. The Bible, if you're reading any part of the Bible, you should be reading the burning bush when God's just like, just kill him. Okay, just sacrifice him and move on. Stop putting us all through this pain, all right? I know, Tamara, the last thing we need is Tamara's interpretation of the verses. Yeah, I think if anything in the Bible matches your history with your children, it's you reap what you sow. So anyway, yeah. So then Megan talks about Haley. Okay, that's next. So what happened first? Well, Megan, we had to talk about Megan wearing this strange swami head wrap, you know, with this, this is classic, you know, like, she got this at the Huntington Beach flea market or something like that. Some bedazzled head wrap with a giant marigold of jewels on her forehead that made her look like the world's worst fortune teller. She, I mean, any credibility that she had in any sphere of anything has been lost by this head wrap. And she even made Lizzie, Lizzie was wearing a, a, a pettifler thing on her head too. And it made Lizzie's look normal. Yeah, Lizzie was wearing like one of those baby glamour shot things. Yeah, like Lizzie, Lizzie should have been the joke. She was like, trying to clear Patrick it up. And instead Lizzie skates by because what Megan was wearing was so like above and beyond ridiculous. And by the way, I also would like to add that when they arrived at this dinner, this beachside dinner, Lizzie showed up with all these bags. She clearly was going to like give gifts of her swimwear to all the ladies. And the producers didn't even bother showing it. Oh, for Lizzie, she's like, well, no one's shooting my gay husband anymore, but I'll, I'll get these horizontal line outfits out there. I won't get them out there. Lizzie doesn't have a gay husband. It's Danielle with a gay husband. Lizzie has like the hot, hot husband in Christian. Oh, I thought her husband was gay. Oh, okay, sorry, he's like a bro. He's a bro. Sorry about Mr. Froading the gay husband. He's gay isn't happy. Oh, that's smarty. That doesn't even count anymore. That's not real happiness anymore. Okay, the gay's ruined it. They stole it from the straight people just like the rainbow. Oh, yeah, appropriating everything. I wonder if those little care bears ever knew that they were marching in a parade for gay rights, rainbow stealers. Yeah, there will be no, no cakes for those care bears now. So, so anyway, so yeah, so now they're talking about Haley. And Megan talks about how Haley is doing her independent study. And she doesn't go to school. And Vicki's like, what? She's not going to school? Well, she's ruined now. She's like, oh, yeah, she has to go to school. She has no limit. She has no boundaries now. Oh, gosh. She doesn't have a job. And she doesn't go to school. That's no accountability. You are hurting her as a parent. You're not even helping her. You're hurting her. You know, you say you want to be her parent, but then you hurt her. Who abuses their children? You're a child abuser. That's what I'm saying. You're a child abuser. Megan's like, god. Well, Megan is so dumb. Like, so, so dumb. She makes this very simplistic, but flawed comparison. Because she says, like, well, you know, on the one hand, Vicki's telling me that I'm not her mother and that, you know, like, I shouldn't, like, I'm not the mom. And then on the other hand, Vicki's talking about spoiling her kids and then saying that I should, like, put up, like, boundaries. Like, which one is it? Vicki gotcha. And it's like, you're so stupid that you draw a comparison between those two things. She's saying she wasn't saying you can't draw boundaries. You can't, like, put up parameters. She's saying, you know, when you're crying that you wish the kids were yours, wait till you have your own kids. You'll have a special, a special bond. It has nothing to do with disciplining this kid. And also, when Vicki's talking about spoiling her child, it's because Rihanna works. She's a nurse, you know? And she's spoiling her because she's older now and she's been responsible and she loves her. And she wants to shower gifts on her. That's what you do to good children, you know? But when your kid is, like, a fuck up, like, Haley, and she has a, quote-unquote, independent study that she can't even finish. And she gets her, her stock market stuff, homework, wrong. Then you don't spoil them. Then you do put out boundaries, maintain admins? Begging admins. Yeah, that made no sense. Like, one minute you want me to raise her in the next minute? You just, like, you don't even care. Like, am I supposed to leave her for dead? Or am I supposed to make sure she does her homework and shows up at her non-school once a month? Like, shut up. You're so stupid. You're so stupid. You're so stupid. And I was actually, I don't know, proud of the right word, but I was impressed that Vicky has stayed so calm. I mean, she's kind of a bitch. Like, she maybe pushes it too hard, where she's pushing this too hard, and she is going after this young girl. But, you know, she's not yelling and screaming or anything yet, and she's staying fairly calm. And her point is, even if, whether or not you agree with it, it's a sensible point. You know, Vicky, Vicky is often crazy, and she is ridiculous, and she's loud and brash. But there's certain things that I'm actually always, like, totally in sync with her about. Like, I think she actually has a good outlook on certain things about, like, working and raising kids, oddly enough. I mean, I think her personal life is obviously a disaster, and she is tacky and ridiculous. But there's certain times when she gets very principled, and I'm kind of always like, yeah, I get it. I think she's right. And you know what? If Meghan doesn't like it, to quote Shannon Bedor, well, if I'm not, you know, if I'm not friends with a 30-year-old, then my life will still go on. Yeah, whatever she said. Yeah, something like that. Close enough for this show. Yeah, and another reason Meghan is stupid is because she keeps bringing up stuff that's just going to start the fight again. Instead of just saying, like, okay, these women are obviously anti-me acting like I'm being this kid's mom. She's like, no, but it is the same. And I am her mother. And then five minutes later, she'll be like, uh-oh, hey, they skipped her not school again. It's like, why are you giving them? It's like, oh, Hayley's-- Literally, Olivia's in a hotel again. It's like, oh. And by the way, Hayley, at this point, is literally in a school where all she's learning is how to make knots. [LAUGHTER] Here's a monkey knot. Here's a monkey face, whatever it's called. Welcome to not school. Today, we're going to work on a simple suit tie. And he's like, ugh, it's too hard. This is hard. I'm going to have Meghan do it. And by the way, so Meghan, Meghan at this dinner, is also like, there's an open in the room, and I want to sincerely apologize to Shannon. Well, it goes that my timing was off, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and then, of course, Meghan's like, saying how I did it, because I want to show that I'm the bigger person. And I'm like, well, then that's not really an apology. You're just actually-- if you're doing it for an ulterior move, then you're just being a bitch again. And you also got mad at Shannon when Shannon gave you a quote unquote "insincere apology" about her being frosty to you on the phone. Yeah, well, Shannon is just never going to forgive her. It's so funny. She's like, guys, just an elephant in the room. Shannon's like, oh, I suppose I'm the elephant. Great. Well, there's a lot of elephants in the room. So let's see if you're going to name me as the elephant, or somebody else is lucky this time. Let's see. It's Meghan King Edmund. I'm sorry, Miss. You're all that I got drunk and had some candy, but that does not make me an elephant now. OK? Miss, which elephant you want to talk about? It's the regular Barnum and Bailey Circus over here. David, have you gone to the Barnum and Bailey Circus? I will never look at an elephant in the room the same way I got it, David. David, I expect a full list of all the circus you've been to with your mistress. And that way I'll know not to go to them ever again, David. David, don't tell me you go to Salate, please. I have to see. Oh, again. So, oh, so then with all this negativity and stupidity, it's so nice to get a romantic scene with Shannon and David, Shannon's at her hotel room, and David calls. And, you know, we talk about the invisible body language. Well, I guess it's not invisible, but we talk about body language a lot on this. And I think it's so funny that the phone rings. And she's like, oh, it's David. Like, she's visibly thrilled that David's calling her. Probably ask her for a loan, let's be honest. He's like, honey, did you change a pin account? And did you change a pin on Wells Fargo again? But he's calling and she's thrilled. But then her body language, she immediately grabs her back. Like, she immediately got a back ache. She's like, oh, David, oh, David, oh, God, David, David. Nebula is her emergency. David, David, David. She's like, thank you so much for sending all those Xs and O's. Meanwhile, it's his mistress typing it. Her name is Exo. Then she's like, wow, David, I'm from getting those messages and texts you've been vibing me, David. David's been vibing me. David's been sending me so many texts and not just texts. Vibes. Are you like, David's been sending me vibers. He's like, hey, babe, where's that oxo scraper? She's like, oh my God, David's sending me Xs and O's. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, sorry. It was a viber from David. I'm going to take this in private. Ground them, ground them. Yeah, ground those kids, ground those breaths. Oh, God, David, yeah, talk hot, David, talk hot. (laughing) What is a viber? Can you make somebody's phone just viber? I feel bad that Shannon knows something about technology that I don't. (laughing) Okay, so anyway, dinner, since this show is only about eating basically the end of the day, it's like, where are we going to have our next meal? Wait, I think, I thought-- Oh, thank God, elephant in the room, thank God. I don't know, what's the show that could be the same, it could just be the same thing in a different manner. I think you've gone out of order. We already talked about this dinner. Oh, yeah. The last thing I expected at this dinner was an apology from Meghan King Edmonds. Edward's? Meghan King Edwards. You just can't surprise-- Edmonds, Edmonds. The last thing I expected was an apology from Meghan. I didn't order an apology. You can't just come into a restaurant and bring somebody something they didn't order. What if I'm allergic to that? What if an apology from Meghan King Edmonds kills me? No, I'm going to sue this place. I'm going to find a money out. So is that what I'm talking about? That's what I think we're talking about. Vicky, oh, no. Then Vicky gave a speech like, I don't know if somebody told Vicky that she's being awarded with like the best friend award or the best mother-- I don't know, but she was giving a Yolanda Foster thank you speech. She's like, guys, I'd just like to thank you. Thank you so much for coming to Tahiti with me. And you know what, thanks so much for accepting Brooks because two days before my mom died, I just said something about Brianna and her liking Brooks. And Tamara's like, I could talk to Brianna. Yeah, where'd that come from, Tamara? That'll be helpful, Tamara. You really helped last time. Yeah. She's like, well, now that I'm a Christian, I can speak the word of the Lord to Brianna. Yeah, and that's, I guess, basically how it ended with Vicky giving this speech about like, I'm difficult, but you know, girls, I do it for your own good. I'm just here for you. I'm only your mother's. I'm the OG of the OC. So you know what? So next week, it looks like Vicky and Shannon get into a huge fight, which I knew is coming because there's the only reason why Bravo would ever show an episode where two women or a scene where two women talk about how much they love each other and are always going to be there for each other is if a fight is right around the corner. And sure enough, Vicky and Megan are going to get into a fight. Looks like it's over Brooks and his cancer. So next week looks like it'll be really fun, although I'm sad. I don't like the idea of Vicky and Shannon fighting, but yay, life goes on in OC. I don't either, but I do like the fact that Vicky is picking on somebody that will not only not fight-- I mean, Shannon will fight back with her to the death, but she'll do it in such a passive-aggressive way. And Vicky's not used to that. She's used to aggressive-aggressive. Well, also, to be fair, the clip made it look like that. Shannon, if you were to follow the preview, if the story were to follow it, it looks like there was some psychic who said that Brooks's cancer isn't real. And then Shannon looks like Shannon told Vicky and Brooks this, and Vicky was so furious about it that she storms out of the restaurant. And you see Shannon be like, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say it. I shouldn't have said it. I shouldn't have said it, which is strange because normally when there's a fight, no one ever immediately apologizes and takes immediate accountability for what they did. So it's a little weird. It's strange to see this on Bravo. Yeah. Yeah. So it's going to be interesting to see what happens there. But I'm so glad that we're going to finally get to the fake cancer storyline because I cannot wait. I didn't know there was an actual doctor who's like, eh, his cancer. What did he say? No, no, I said it's a psychic. It was a psychic. Oh, god. Oh, yeah, that's right. Because Megan's like, the psychic said the cancer is fake. And it's like, dun, dun, dun. Huge news. Although, the psychics on these shows are pretty good. That's true. OK, so why do I write about Vicky's mom being in the wall? Vic, you're home? Vic? Brooke, save some Wonder Bread, Vic. Oh, I'm going to kill him. That's it, Brooks. Mom told me. If the Wonder Bread doesn't kill him first. So let's move on to the dumb dums in Atlanta on "Married to Medicine." Let's do it. So as usual, the episode began-- I have notes for this, Rami, so don't you worry. As usual, the episode began with some public domain music being like, making moves, making moves. If you believe you're going to make some moves. Hey, hey. And then it like cuts the quad being like, chat, I'm going to be earning some coin astronomy right now. I am focused on the coin and jalassie. A girl. I got some moves to making, honey pie. Shake a tab, baby, hey. I'm like, all right, and what exactly will you be doing? Are you going to be driving Uber also? Because I have a good promo code for you. I'm going to be making so many moves. I'm going to open a store, a move store. People can come in and buy a move. [LAUGHTER] Someone's calling me from Utica, New York. I don't know who that could be, but I am going to cancel that. Who's calling me from Utica? Is it the big penis ex-con who escaped? Did you like my moves, Utica? You can buy one now. So yeah, quad, she is going to be making money with a picture of the pup. Also, can we please quote, quote, I have to quote, quote. I actually read about it, so I could quote it exactly. And it's nothing crazy, but quad's first thing. She's having a business meeting or whatever in her honor coffee table, but she's having a meeting with this guy and she goes, what do we have to do to get into demons? I'm like, oh, God. [LAUGHTER] Oh, help us. Give me a squirt. Give me a shield, a daffodil. Has it, honey? [LAUGHTER] With a shield, a daffodil! Has it, honey? [LAUGHTER] It still makes no sense. So-- And then Lisa Nicole is cooking for her children. Lisa's like with all talks. Once again, she re-emphasizes that with all the craziness going on in her life and everything, at least she has her kids. She's so happy she has her kids. I'm like, oh, this is not good. If you have so much shit going on in your life and you're just devoting yourself to your kids, that means you are suppressing a lot of cash. At least I have my kids. You have a TV show and a business and you're choosing to be with your children. Oh, this isn't going to go well for you. Yeah. No. Her, you can tell that she's like a real bitch when the cameras aren't on. Because, you know, she does that overly nice thing. And she does it to the kids. She's like, do you want some mac and cheese? Oh, you do. You're a good girl. Do you want to make a thing? Oh, you're so good. I love how you do that, honey. Like, she's so nice that you know when the cameras are not. She's like, mommy's not talking to you, bitch, get up to your room. OK, talks to kids like retards. I suspect she's evil. Don't say that, Ronnie. Oh, sorry. What? What's the part? Retards. It's not nice. Oh, whatever. Listen, I didn't call them heavenly. Let's just move on to heavenly. I can't stand up for calling people retards. OK, some people are just retards. OK, it does not have to do with mentally disabled people. It has to do with extreme slowness. Next time on "Watch for Crap-ins." Hey, guys, I'm really sorry. I know I got a lot of messages on Facebook about saying the word "retard." So I'm sorry, I guess I'm an asshole. That's next time on "Watch for Crap-ins." Next time, I'll be like, yeah, sorry, everybody. I just read it wrong in the comment section. Heavenly is very busy. Good. She's developing her app. So she goes to a developer, right? Yeah, she goes to a toy app developer. Toya for all her business acumen. And Toya's like, oh, I love dating. That's what I call mastering my singleness, love. What I should have done is date more people. So I could be more master than single. I could be a single master. People think I could have played golf in that master's tournament. People make 30 because I don't got no books, but I spent all my time reading people. I love to read people. Like, yeah. Try words. Toya. Well, Toya learned a new word. She learned what the word "peak" meant. I think she learned all three definitions of, well, there's three different words, but she learned how "peak" could be applied to three different words. So "peak." I thought "peak" was just like something that's on a bird. No, that's a beak. Oh, what I should do is read it up beforehand. And she's like, "peak, p-r-c-u-u-u." What, that's crazy. That's not a word. What I should have did was gone to the dictionary. And then, of course, Heavenly's like, "See, man, Toya's stupid. She's stupid. I'm a god plus, how funny about Toya? She is stupid. Dang, Toya." And then, and then Toya's like, well, we don't even need this. We don't need this developer. I got funds we could do. We could get it done in like three days. Eugene knows everything about MS Wood. We got an app immediately. [LAUGHS] I heard dating app. She's like, "This is one more step and build in my empire. Bitch, did you not Google me? Only Notrapondaw can do what I do." You have 30-- name one. Name one business, really. You're a dental office flipper, a dentist. You speak to grown women about like big sister issues. Like, what the fuck, lady? I don't know what she's talking about. But I love that she's going to have an app. And I love that she's obviously also never used app. OK? Yeah. This lady's like, well, why would you have a dating app when there's already so many? And she's like, I look around at the land and I see all these ladies. All they want is a man. And I can get a man. And I can keep him. I'm like, oh, no. And then she's like, she wants to initially name the app Heavenly, because that's her brand. I'm like, you are so stupid. You don't know anything about branding. She wants to name it. You don't know any doctor, Heavenly. Yeah, doctor, yeah. At least she had the good sense to know that that was a terrible name and change it to like, peak, or peak, which is not-- Well, it has to be-- It has to be short and memorable. Rememberable, Toya scene. It's removable. What I should have did is I have came here to this app development conference to look up and all my creative ideas, because I'm sort of like a kazzaa of app development. So it has to be something short and quick. And it has to make sense with Heavenly's personality in her app, you know? So like, they're just trying to come up with all these different words. I don't know how nobody just came up with Obey. [LAUGHTER] You swipe it, and then you'll see what your man wants from me, and you'll say yes. And then if you don't want to, you cry about it later, and manipulate him. Doo! [LAUGHTER] Yeah, that's pretty much it. So blah, blah, blah. Then we go on to go away. But I also have to say-- sorry, this app killed me. Fucking Heavenly is like, you know, these people, they want to keep a man. Well, I look at these. I look at these programs on the things, and you look at the people on the thing, and then you slide a screen. And then it tells you something about it. And then, I mean, you know what I mean. Yes, an app, OK? It's like, you don't even know how the phone works. It's just like, sometimes, I'll just put my finger on it, and it'll open. It's like, it's taking my finger print! [LAUGHTER] It's like, I don't even have to call people. I could just use this. I could text people, whoa! She's so stupid. Her app's going to be like an old voicemail system. And when you have to call your answering machine from, like, a payphone, and, like, dial in all the special codes. Yeah. For a man that you don't care how fat he is, press 1-9-7-9-7. How did it spawn, y'all? Learn English, motherfucker! It's going to have, like, flashing HTML text on it. It'll just look my status. [LAUGHTER] Oh, OK, I'm done. So then we had a really stupid segment where Dr. Jackie was talking to us about gay babies, for no reason. She's like, oh, there's so many more gay babies now. And, you know, because gay people can't have babies, and I can have babies. So, you know, we like get each other. I'm like, oh, this is so-- Oh, Dr. Jackie. She's got, like, a row-- like, one of those tie-rotating racks, and all the ties on it are ugly. I do not want to hear about you being barren. You're 100, OK? You're supposed to be barren. You know, well, it's true. Like, I'm so sick of these storylines on housewives, where they're like, I'm 60. I'm going to try and have a baby. No, the bus has left, OK? It's gone. Stop it. I'm not going to cry for you. The cancer one, that was real, OK? So that's one. And then that's-- I mean, it's still an ugly tie, though. And then, what's the other one? Oh, that fat bullhorn thing. So if she's in a scene, she's either talking about how she had to get up really early, and she always works. Or it's about cancer, fatness on other people, or barren. Bing, barren. Shut up. Yeah. Shut up. Just stop it. Shut up. Shut up. Like, I like you, Jackie. I like you, because you actually are a very smart woman. And you have-- you can usually read the social situations, well, so please stop degrading yourself, your quote, unquote, brand, with all these really annoying storylines. Well, she's smarter. You know, she's like classier in a way. Well, in a big way. I think she's classy, and I think that she's smart. But I think all this stuff, where the fit is the new it, is stupid. And I think this-- I mean, I actually did not object too much with her talking about the fact that she can't have a baby. That actually did not great me as much in this scene. It just was like, why are we watching this scene where we've been talking about gay babies? It has nothing to do with anything, and it's just stupid. It's just filler. It's filler on a show that has too much filler. I just think it's funny that she's so classy, but once you're on reality TV, you get suckered into the same traps. They might be classier traps, but she still will pull the victim card in every scene if she can't victimize someone with her bullhorn. She'll still try and sell shit, because she's on TV, so she might as well make some money. It's like she's classier, I guess, but she's still following the same old blueprint. Yeah. So which, no hate, just pointing it out. So OK, so then we get to the good story. This is the longest podcast ever for really-- I know. Shows where nothing really happens, so let's just get to it. The first main thing was Heavenly's relationship. What the hell is that? Well, having to obey your husband. And then she starts crying like a teenager and literally acts like a teenager, crying to her dad. She's squeaking. She was making some noises that I didn't know humans could make. It was full fledged squeakathon. She's like, Daddy, but I'm back. I'm back by the time I'm from school. He basically was like, you're like, I want you to be around more for kids, right? He was saying like, you need to be around more. And because she wanted to develop the app. And he's like, don't do the app because you already spread you thin, correct? Yeah. And she, at one point, she goes, I don't know. It feels like a two-year down here. I'm already lost, right? I'm here with the kids. I'm like, oh, no. Don't be saying like, you're supposed to be this independent woman. And you're like, I lost weight for you. I'm raising it. She should be saying, no. That's one thing you know, I understand. I think if you're in a relationship, it's like you should never change for your partner. But I can understand if you felt like doing certain things would make that person happier. I can understand that there's a certain give-and-take in a relationship, but you never want to sacro-- you never want to do something that you don't want to do to make someone happier. It should be something like, yeah, OK, I'll do that. If that's something you have to do. Well, one thing I like about her is that she's like, I'll do whatever I want. Blah, blah, blah. So whenever she turns into this, I don't know. I lost weight for you, kind of girl. I don't like that. And then, anyway, so they have that fight. And she tells us, I thought the whole point is submitting to your husband. Is that you could do whatever you want? It's like, oh my god. Now, that is a Bible I can subscribe to. Do whatever your husband says, which means you can do anything you want. Sounds good to me, but I think that that's hilarious. And then she goes like a kid. She goes, I spent all that time submitting for nothing. Oh, that's like Toya, the applying to colleges. Yeah. So then there's the Toya and Quad beef. OK, now this is funny because so Quad came over because-- Oh, so Eugene is having a big birthday party. It was going to be like five sauce in Skak, where it was going to be the-- So should we get carrots, mommy? And she goes, no, it's your daddy's birthday. So he could be happy for one day. Yeah, wow. So Quad came over because Quad was not going to go to the party, because she does not want to be somewhere, whether it's going to be some drama, where someone could throw a glass at her twice. And so, a woman with a business. I do not want to sit down at a table with a platypus face, little face, or a face of a face. Definitely. Flowers grow in the winter, not in my garden. Thanks. If there's a table with some legs on it, I'm going to use my feet to walk up the wall. [LAUGHTER] The story is like, what I shouldn't have did. What I shouldn't do is not invite on the first place. So Quad was saying that she was mad at Toya, because when everything went down between Quad and Lisa and Nicole, that Toya's first response would be like, Quad, what did you say? What did you do? And Quad was like, it was almost implying that it's justified. Like, I shouldn't have said what I said. And it's like, well, yeah, she's right. I mean, like, you did really egg on Lisa and Nicole when you were trying to be nice with her. You did pull out a file of, quote unquote, like bullshit on national TV, and you did try to humiliate her. So yeah, you probably did deserve to get some water thrown in your face. And we don't even like Lisa and Nicole. He liked you more going into the season. Yeah. And I like that Toya said that. She's like, well, I'll say that because on the phone, you were saying you were going to do a background check and you were going to tell everybody. And then she just kept going on and on. And she's like, I never said I was going to tell anybody. It's on TV, first of all. Yeah, because Toya was like, the reason why I said, what did you say? What did you do? Is because you were ranting and raving, saying that you were going to tell everybody. Everybody. About Lisa and Nicole's past. You said you were going to, like, expose her to everyone. And Nicole was like, no, I was merely going to make a presentation thereafter, thusly, and heretofore. When I have a friend, I want to sit down with that friend and a folder, because folders make things professional. And I want to read that folder to her. And then I want to change her life for the better. It's like, what are you talking about? You got a background check from 999 on Experia, shall I? I just love when Quad tries to sound professional and educate it and smart. I mean, actually, oddly enough, I used to really think that Quad was smart. And this season, it's all sort of gone out the window. The fact that she said, I was merely going to make a presentation of the facts therein on the blackboard of the windowsill of courtroom in, therefore, justice. And heretofore, nevertheless, that's being said. And your case is settled, your honor. OK, Johnny Cochran. If the glove don't acquit, you can't fit the glove. Thank you. OJ is now free. Thank you, Quad. It's the difference that Johnny Cochran was smart. Um, so anyway, and then I think at some point, is this one Quad was like, she brought over. She's like, I brought over you a nice spot of champagne. Yeah, so she's not going to go blah, blah, blah. I just love making fun of Quad trying to be fancy. It is hilarious. She's like, I am a owner of a business. A small business is going to be an industry. Like, OK, so the other fun thing that happened was, Heavenly went on a double date with Jill and her husband. And it didn't go well. That wasn't a double date. That was that was the little jeans party. They just got there. Oh, that was the same thing. I was really out of it when I watched it. And what was really funny was that when it was a Jill-- I think when Jill and her husband arrived at the party, they saw Heavenly's Bentley, and there was an air freshener in it. [LAUGHTER] It's classic married to medicine right there. Putting an air freshener, like a little tree, a little pine trees. And as our listener lamps would say, "Bentleys do not get air freshened. Bentley's air freshen." Yes. Or freshener, I guess. He would use better-- Well, every time someone shows up driving a Rolls-Royce, I mean, people, it's like driving a limousine to where you're going. You're supposed to be driven in them. Yeah. Oh, my God, what a pretty beyond your means. How's that working out for you? It's a good on gas. When do you have to give it back to Gretchen and Slade? I know you've got a time share on this, please. Oh, that poor guy is probably still sleeping in a used parking lot in a sleeping bag in the back of that thing. Oh, well, let that go. So they started discussing-- I guess Heavenly doesn't know this girl. So she's like, "So, too, what do you do?" And Jill's like, "Oh, I'm a lawyer. Is she a lawyer?" Or is she just works at her husband? She works at her husband, I think, as a plastic surgeon. She works at her husband's firm. I can't do the Jill voice day because it's like my throat. And is Jill a doctor? Because Heavenly was like, why don't you start your own firm? Why weren't you working at Jill's his firm? I think Jill is in the vein of Gail from Secrets and Wives. Yes. He just has a ceremonial office. Well, that's definitely what Heavenly thinks. Yeah, I almost called her "Heavily." That is so rude. Heavenly. She lost all that way for her husband. I know. She's like, "Well, I want my own business. Why would you work for someone else? You are a woman of power on your own industry. I've got 37 businesses of my own." I didn't necessarily disagree with Heavenly, but I also thought it was pretty rude of her to be just saying that's rude. It's extremely rude. Especially from the husbands. It was really rude. Because Heavenly said, she basically was like, she said that she thinks that women who work for their husbands can't cut it elsewhere. And that they're-- She said that. Out said that. Yeah, she said that. Well, she said that in the confessional. And she said that when they work for their husbands, they're doing as they can say their work so that they have something to do, but really they're just playing at their husband's job. I don't totally disagree. I don't totally agree. I think there are many husband and wife work duo teams where it's legit. I do think, though, on Bravo reality shows, when you see people like Gail on Secrets and Wives, yeah, Heavenly is absolutely right. Well, one thing we know about Heavenly from this episode, or a couple things, she's got 97 businesses. So any of them actually work because a business that actually makes you money, you have to work really hard. Look, I work in a business where I don't make any money, and I still have to work really hard. So if you're going to make money, you actually have to work at that one job. So I don't buy that she's successful. Yeah. And she's so stupid that she's going to fund her own app. When the lady told her it was $30,000, she's like, I got that while we're going to ask somebody else for their money. Yeah. I was like, I enjoyed the shade that she threw when she was like, I'm not like quad, it needs to get an investor. She's like, I'm going to fund it myself. And then I was like, I like that shade. It's funny, but you're really stupid paying, like investing your own money and your own app. You are stupid. You are stupid. And by the way, I apologize to Gail from Secrets and Wives because, you know, she does have a job. She designs blazers for the slutty receptionist. So I apologize. You have a role. And it's very important. I have covered some poops, how dare you? She has a smock. Here's a smock for all the receptionists. So Jill wanted a smock. So Jill couldn't win this one. So she started her crazy white girl blink. She's like, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink. And then she looks like a cat. It's like, what do you think about at the cheetah when Lisa Nicole attacked me and when she told me all that stuff? And Evan Lee's like, well, that is interesting because I've never been to a strip club where the girls come up and say, you know, personal business because that's how they make their money, girl. I mean, who's going to come up and just give the black book up on TV? Nobody does that. Someone made to do it. Someone made it. I don't know who. I don't know. Maybe at night. Maybe a name Rhonda can't start an industry on my own. I don't have to work with my husband. I don't know. Well, again, this whole ridiculous argument about whether or not strippers, well, heavenly thinks that strippers are basically whores and Jill thinks they're empowered and they're doing it. You know, a lot of them like to do it, et cetera. Yeah, Jill said. Yeah. Well, and Heavenly was saying that they do it because they don't realize they have other choices in life. And Jill's like, no. Like, of course they know, of course they know. And then Jill's husband started, he's like, you know, a lot of my clients are strippers. And many of them are nurses on the side or even dentists. Excuse me. And you can just see, Heavenly furious at the insinuation that there's a dentist stripper out there. By the way, I also do not believe that there's a dentist stripper, but go on. That husband was not having her. He was not going to take her shit. And what did he say to her that got her so mad? Oh, she said, he said, I don't know. You know, there's some dentists and blah, blah, blah. And then she, she said, I like to talk to women, I like to talk to women, not to men. Oh, yeah. She said, there's no dentist stripper or something. And he's like, well, you know, you assume, like you say, you're assuming that there's no. He was like, I don't like to talk to man. Yeah. And Jill's like, oh my God, he says that. Second up, I'm going to speak to a man that he like, and he leaves and she's like, come on. It's just a joke. Well, are you really leaving? Are you leaving? No. And then the husband who this girl is going to fit right in on the show because the husband is a bit and then Atlanta, that's going to get you farther than your wife being a bitch sometimes. Well, you know, he gets, he has no tolerance for any of this reality show business. You can see he absolutely hates it. Yeah. And you can see the absolutely hates, Heavenly's guts. I mean, Heavenly is so stupid to be going after someone with a brain like this. Like, this is not his bimbo wife. Okay. You're coming after like an actual intelligent person. Okay. He's not like some hot model that she like lucked out with and they won the lottery. Okay. She is working for her intelligent, homely man. He's not going to take your shit. And he didn't either. I'm not going to talk to man. And then he said in the, uh, confessional or whatever, what do you call it? The diary room, whatever he said that was like shot in like a cell phone. Jill and her husband got like the Shriest production value. Yeah. It's like shot on their FaceTime. Yeah. And the other end was just Heather paused in a fishnet dress and Tahiti, yeah, trying to be sexy. But he said, he said something like, well, you know, in the medical, in the medical field, I mean, I don't know how it works for dentists, but the saying amongst doctors is I was like, you go because she's going to hate you forever now. Yep. You don't care. He doesn't care. He's like, he's successful. This is just something as a show his wife wants to be on. He doesn't give a fuck. He doesn't give a fuck if you, if you annoys a dentist, a dentist slash app developer slash motivational speaker. Yeah. So then the party begins and everybody else starts arriving and blah, blah, blah. Basically the only fight here is because Simone announces to everybody that she is going to be having a basketball party for, but against the women and the children. And Lisa Nicole's like, basketball, maybe I'll be a cheerleader for basketball. Could one team be hangers and I can cheer for them to all be put back the correct way. Yeah. And Simone's like, well, unfortunately there will be hangers, but you will not be receiving it in invitation to my party. And I'm hoping that you're not taking it personal, but you're a bitch and I hate you and I hope you die. And I actually thought it was a pretty classless move by Simone because if two women are having a beef, let them decide who's going to show up or who's not going to show up like don't, I don't know. I think it's, I'm, I'm of the mindset these days. You just invite, you invite people, whoever you want to invite and then you don't, and then you just don't, like you let them figure that or if there's one, if one of the two, you really just don't want to invite. If she wanted quad there and she didn't want like she wanted quad there more than Lisa Nicole, then you know what you do. You don't invite these Nicole and then you also don't bring it up in front of her as, as if it was an invitation and then say, oh no, but you're not invited. Just have the event. Don't invite her and deal with the repercussions later. Yeah. What the hell, man? This is so stupid. Nobody wants to go to your stupid basketball party anyway, but that she acts like this. You know, she's one of my favorites. So whenever she acts stupid, I feel embarrassed, you know, it's like when your team loses. And I really hate when my team, no matter what show they're on, I hate when my team is so stupid that they go try to kiss the ass of the person who's on their way out. Like, learn to pick a horse for Christ's sake, lady. I mean, that lady is not even showing up to shoot with anybody. She is not going to be around next season. Don't separate yourself from everybody else. Yeah. I like you. I like you. And I love to have Matt, everyone got about this. It's just a stupid basketball game with the kids against the moms. Like, who cares? Because the mom's such a hypocrite, she's like, well, you know, the difference here because they were calling Simone out because she's always yelling and shouting and getting out of control with Toya. And they're like, well, you scream at her. And she's like, well, the difference is that this got physical, Lisa. And Lisa, you know, that sounds like she pulled out a baseball bat and like beat the shit out of quad. Well, it is a little different. I mean, if I were inviting people to a party and one person threw a glass in someone's face, even though quad is overreacting and pressing charges, which she shouldn't, but if one person threw a glass, you know, that is grounds be like, listen, I'm not inviting you because you did throw a glass at her last time and, you know, whatever, but she should have just led with that and just and just been like, you know, like in this case, like, you know, and because Lisa does have to kind of own up to that a little bit more than she has been. Well, that's what I liked about Simone when Simone finally started going off on her and stopped this fake quad thing that she's doing, her fake customer service quad thing when she actually went after her and she was like, no, you know, I'm sorry, but doing all of this shit, doing all of this shit to her wasn't cool. You're a total hypocrite and saying that you're, you know, you want everything to be fixed, but you won't take responsibility for anything like, yes, she came after my she came after my family. Like, and I get that like, you know, I would be furious too, but you know, this is what a lot of real housewives do these days or bravo stars is that like any time anyone says anything about their kids, it's totally classic when that happens and it's bad and, you know, mama hens should or mama bears should should like stick up for their kids and their families. But it's almost as if it's almost like a people hide behind that at this point. People take advantage of that. And you know what? I really commend Dr. Jackie. This is where I like Dr. Jackie because Dr. Jackie said in the confessionals, she goes, all these women think they've been given license to react and act any way they want if somebody crosses a line. She goes, ah, ah, that's called being a child. And I was like, you know what? She's absolutely right. I mean, and I love that she said it in such a condescending way because she's right. You don't have a license to act. You don't have license to throw a glass in someone's face because someone does something nasty like that, you know, what you have a right to do is either walk away or shut them down or just, you know, decide you're just never going to be friends with them anymore or, you know, but, um, but Dr. Jackie is absolutely right in that situation. Yeah, I like how she's like, listen, that is acting like a child. And I will accept a child, but not a fat child fit is the new it. So that wraps us up for the day, everybody. I'm actually looking forward to marriage minutes next week because, um, some guy tells is it least Nicole or Troya or someone at a red carpet, he's like basically like, why is Lisa Nicole's husband sleeping with me? Oh, yeah. The Gays said it. The quad, the non-quad gay set up that I'm sure quad had nothing at all to do with. This queen comes up on the, on the blue carpet because you know that shit ain't red, whatever they're opening there. It's probably like a coals opening and he's like, well, let's talk about leading the cold. And she's like, Oh, no, I'm going to leave that in the soil that ain't going to be God and honey. And he's like, well, but someone needs to ask her why her husband's sleeping with me. And he doesn't sound anything like that. I'd like that. He was not super offended. Yes, he was. He's like, they need to ask her why she's sleeping with the man. Yes. Yes. If his voice was higher, he would have been squeaked from the color purple. Sorry. He didn't say the men's did. Yeah. He said me. He said he's sleeping with me. Oh, I thought he said the means. No, I think he said me. Damn Atlanta accent. Either way. Either way. It's going to be good. It's going to be good. It's going to be good. It's going to be good. So anyway, thanks everybody so much for listening. You can find us on the podcast. Yeah, it was fun. It's fun doing this loopy. Can I give like a totally shameless plug for some of the end of the podcast as I mentioned it? I have this, I have this Uber promotion. And if anyone wants to become an Uber driver, if you use the code MB3JD, I think you get like a hundred dollars or something like that. So if anyone was thinking about being an Uber driver and earning some extra cash, and I do Uber drive on this item, it's really fun. Be sure to use that code MB3JD, yes, that was a shameless self promotion. And then after a long day of driving your car, you can come home and relax on your Casper mattress and possibly read next issue on your iPad if they ever renew with us. I know. Exactly. I also have a lift code, but I won't go too crazy. No, one to date. One to date. One one seven. God. Okay, everybody. Thank you so much. If you want to subscribe for extras and stuff, come to our patreon.com/watchworkcrapinspange and for blah, blah, blah, Facebook stuff to come post there, to talk with us during the shows, to talk shit with other listeners during the shows, come to Facebook.com/watchitcrapins. For all of our personal links, go to Watch what Crapins do. Thank you for everyone who supports this podcast monetarily and with your ears for free because that is huge support and we are loving doing it. And this has been a fun one, Ben. Thank you, darling. I know. And everyone, we have our, I believe we have our patreon hangouts this Thursday. I was going to ask you if we could do it next Thursday. Okay, we'll do it next Thursday. Next Thursday. I just, because I haven't slept and I have a feeling that Thursday is going to be sleep day and also it's a big brother day again to help us. Yeah. Gold hit us all. Actually, and on top of that, like I'm going to go to, so Michelle Collins, our lovely friend and occasional Watch what Crapins guest and now host co-host of The View, she's moving to New York and she's doing one last comedy show in LA Thursday night. So this way, I'm going to go to it, it's at eight o'clock at UCB on Franklin if anyone wants to go and buy tickets. So I'm going to go this way. The hangout does not bump up against that. So, okay. Yeah. And also, I think we're doing Wednesday now because big brothers on Thursday member Wednesday hangout. Yeah. That's what we did last month. We were going to switch them, but whatever. We'll figure it out. You know that we'll end up telling you guys five minutes before it happens and then it'll take an hour for me to figure out how the computer works. Oh, I, I, I will, I will, I've gotten. That's one thing that I'm really good at is figuring out, I know how to set up that hangout pretty easily. So I will take care of that's Ronald, Ronald, yep, still don't get it. Okay, everybody. You don't need to hear all that. But why stop talking. It's like talk. Let's just like talk for 15 more minutes. Yeah. Things might as well. Bye everybody. From Utica called me. See you later everybody. Thank you. Bye. Bye. If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the internet. The folks behind the side show network have launched a new YouTube channel called Wait for it. It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza Schleichinger, Slicing Driving Friends with it for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there and I still have a hard time with the last name Liza. 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