Is it just me or is TV gotten really complicated? Thankfully, Fylo has changed that for me, one service, all the stuff I need. Fylo's got current seasons of the shows I can't miss. Live on networks like A&E, Paramount, Discovery, and TLC. Classics like The Office, Martin, and Friends that I never get sick of, and all the incredible originals on AMC+ from Mad Men Hello to Orphan Black. And don't forget their library of more than 75,000 movies and shows, all of which I can save and re-watch any time for a whole year. Never miss a minute of shows like The Golden Girls, you know I'm always watching The Golden Girls, and Fylo has it. Best of all, with Fylo, you get all of this for just $28 a month. No contract, no hassles. Just one subscription and a world of entertainment. So go to Fylo.tv and check it out for a free seven-day trial. That's p-h-i-l-o.tv to start watching. Unlock your imagination with Audible. When you listen to audio content, your mind is free to paint the scenes and feel the emotions of a great story. Audible's extensive catalog is sure to have titles that you'll enjoy, immerse yourself in captivating tales, learn from world-renowned experts, and discover new perspectives all while multitasking or relaxing. There's more to imagine when you listen, and one title that I've been listening to is my friend Neil J. Young's Coming Out Republican, which talks about the history of gay Republicans. It's super fascinating and super interesting. As an Audible member, you choose one title a month to keep from their entire catalog. New members can try Audible free for 30 days. Visit audible.com/crapins or text "crapins" to 500-500. That's audible.com/crapins or text "crapins" to 500-500. Yeah, so go. Oh, so faring much better in the world of entertainment would have to be Gigi and Bella Hadad, daughter of Orlando Foster. Her first alerted this on Instagram because I follow Yolanda. I like looking at pictures of her feet and then fake pictures of her being so sick that her son has to carry her, which later turns out that she wasn't sick and she was smiling the whole time. But love that feat. But this was the first there when I read. Oh, look at Gigi on the cover of the V Magazine standing next to that horrible awkward tree. Doesn't she look beautiful? And people were like, "That's Bella." And she was like, "Oh, oh yes, Bella too." She's like, "I love this photo. It really reminds you about the environment because here you have a beautiful duck named Gigi and her on her white resilience. And the next one is one of these poor animals that got stuck in an oil slick that has to be cleaned. Oh, that's Bella." Oh, I'm sorry, Bella. "I wish her middle name was started with a piece so we could just call her BP and be done with it." It's, you know, they are on the cover of V Magazine because the V stands for, "I'm so very proud of Gigi and the one next to her." Whereas Anwar, you know, if you take the, if you take that little thing out of the A and turn it upside down, it becomes a V, like the magazine, which has Gigi on the cover of it. "I couldn't watch the show last because I love Bella. So, I mean, I love Gigi so much that when they talked about the others, I got scared because I thought they were talking about Bella and Anwar. Oh God. This is my favorite magazine because not only is Gigi on the cover of it with the other one, but also they let me write an up-ed in it in which I said, "To my love, David, thank you for making a magazine possible. Signed me to celebrate. We are bringing the 710ers out of the basement to sing along with David of a song hero." Don't say anything. Don't talk. Don't talk during David. David, my love. My love. I would like to write another up-ed in V Magazine. It's called, "Why I can simply cannot go to the mouth because for a tenth year in a row." "I am just so sick of the beautiful water and scenic landscape. Please, can we go to the sasheas? Thank you." I'm going to write an up-ed piece called, "What is David's up?" Thank you next issue for supporting this podcast, okay? And thank you everybody for being with us and listening. Welcome to the Watch What Crap and Sport Coast! I'm Ronnie Karam, and I'm with the lovely, talented, handsome, and summer air-breathed Ben Mandelker of the B-side Blog and the Bander Blender podcast. Hello, Ben. Oh, hi, Ronnie. I do have so much summer air-breathed in me right now. It's coming up both ends. If you want to find me or Ben personally on social media or Twitter's and all of that, just go to watchitcrapins.com where all of our links are listed. You can also come to watchitcrapins on Facebook, facebook.com/watchitcrapins to talk to other listeners and us. We have live show threads going for all the nights of the shows that we cover. Shit is hilarious, so go check it out. People are really funny on there, and we'll be reading a lot from that today. Also, thank you to everybody who is supporting us on patreon.com/watchitcrapins. That's patreon.com/watchitcrapins. We created a premium feed there a few months ago, so people could subscribe for our bonus episodes, which we just finished up a huge big brother episode, so that'll be up to you. Yeah, super fun episode. Yeah, so subscribe for those Google Hangouts and Ringers, and thank you so much to everybody who is subscribing. It's allowed us to do this show twice a week, which we do. We're doing this four to five hours a week now, which is so much fun. Yeah, our episodes are getting longer than they've ever been, and I feel like we're covering more stuff. At the very least, we're just talking about more minutia, which we enjoy, and I hope you guys enjoy it, too, and if you don't, you can just press fast forward. There's a lot more, baby, baby, because of you guys, so thank you, and I think that's all our plugs. We want to talk about Austin. Austin, yes, okay, Ben and I are both going to be in Austin, Texas at the same time at the end of July, like last week of July. That's right. We are going to record an episode in late July from Austin. Yeah, so we were thinking maybe we could do a live show over there, but we don't want to do it for like one person, so people in Austin, if you're going to be there in the last week of July and you want to come see us, we'll put something on our Facebook page, so just come to facebook.com/wetrocrapins and we'll have we'll have a poll, and if we get more than like, I don't know, like 40 or 50 people, or like 30, I don't know how many people, how many would we do, how many should we do it for? I don't know. I think if we get, if they're like 30 people, yeah, we find a bar somewhere. We'd find a time to record it. That would be fun, and we pretended South by Southwest, and we'll just like, when people say, oh my god, do you guys ever go to South by Southwest? I'll be like, oh yeah, we totally recorded our podcast in Austin. Yeah, and be like, oh my god, that's so amazing that you were invited by South by Southwest. We're like, yeah, like we just had a great turnout in Austin, and we'll just keep saying that, and people just assume that we're talking about South by Southwest when in fact we went six months later. We'll just do what everybody else doesn't call it South by, so we're not really lying. Yeah, we went to South by, you recorded South Street's report? Yeah, that's gonna be really fun. I feel like I should wear out your cowboy hat or something, and again, as Ronnie mentioned, we just did a bonus episode where we talked about the big brother premiere for like an hour, and so much fun, and the reason why I'm mentioning that right now, this is a little off Bravo right here, but there is a funny gossip item that was posted on our Facebook page, which is an announcement that Frankie Grande, who was one of the stars of last season's big brother, and also in case you didn't hear, he's the brother of Ariana Grande, he had to cancel his tour because I think he had too many professional obligations is what he said. And so it's like, I really want to give the Aflak people my time, and I'm also doing that guestinar thing at the gay bar in downtown Las Vegas at the... That's like, what?! That's like, Ronnie and I are going to be doing a show in Jupiter, Florida, and so I just really can't do my tour. But of course, this begs the question, what the fuck kind of tours... What is the front... What tour is he doing? What is his tour? Someone in the comments said that he had some cabaret show or something for two nights, and so he was like, I'm going to make it a national tour, and I guess he just didn't sell the tickets, but you know, there's always holding that suitcase on Deal or No Deal, so good luck. Which is a great transition, Ronnie, into Claudia Jordan. Claudia Jordan famously was a Deal or No Deal girl at one point in her career, and maybe she'll just have to go back to that, because rumors are swirling that she's been axed from Real Housewives of Atlanta. The rumor is basically that Nini has called for her head, and it was either Nini or Claudia, and of course Claudia is new, and Nini is still like too much of like an iconic face or teeth or nose for the show, so rumor is Claudia's gone, but it's only a rumor, and nothing is confirmed, and right now other sources are saying she just hasn't received her offer yet. I believe it, because look, you can go up against Nini, and you can do a lot of different stuff. One thing Nini will not stand for is when she is trying to pretend that she's traumatized at a reunion, and she has just told the world for the first time ever, but like the fifth time, about her fucked up growing up experience, and then trying to use that for tears after abusing people all year, and you just sit there and roll your eyes on camera? No, okay, no. Yeah, exactly. If this is true, it's a shame. Claudia has been a great addition. I've loved watching her take down, Nini. I think she has meshed so well, and I think it's a huge mistake, and I think that if this happens, I think that means Bravo is giving way too much power to a star who has passed her prime, and too big of a joke. They already have. They already have. How many people have they fired, because she made them? I mean, Shira. Shira. I mean, girl, I saw Shira the other day on Twitter, and she tweeted, you know, have people tweet nice things on Twitter occasionally, so someone tweeted or something like, "We still miss you," and she tweeted back hearts and said, "You see, some people never forget the real something, and just let them know you want me back." And I'm like, "Really? No, no." You know, in 2009, I started up a gag Facebook account called Shira. I used to call it on my blog. I used to call her Shira because she put the accent on a weird part of her name. So it's like, I always call her Shira, S-H-E-R-A-Y-A-Y, and I called it Shira Whitfield, and it was like filled with all these stupid quotes. I've heard, you know, "Hey, I have a fashion show with no fashion." That kind of stuff. And there are so many people who add her as a friend thing, it's real Shira Whitfield, and people say, "Hey girl, good singing last night. Hey girl, what's going on? Have you been?" Like, try to start conversations. I'm like, "That's why I stopped going to the fake Shira Whitfield account." That entire feed is like, "Shira, I know, you know, it's a hard time for you, but can I have that $20 you owe me? I got to pay the rent." Signed your son. I also think though, this part of me that's a conspiracy theorist that thinks that Claudia is not that she's going to get, not that she has been fired, but that she's probably asking for more money. And so Bravo has put this rumor out there to make her afraid that she's going to get fired. Well, that's a possibility, but she really didn't do enough to ask for more money. She fought with Nini with Nene in the beginning of the season, and then she didn't really do anything for the rest of it. She has no husband or wife, really anything. I mean, I don't want to watch her do her bad stand-up. Lord knows I see enough of that. Lord knows I do enough of that. So, fairing much better in the world of entertainment, we have to be Gigi and Bella Hadad. Yes, her first alerted this on Instagram because I follow Yolanda. I like looking at pictures of her feet and then fake pictures of her being so sick that her son has to carry her, which later turns out that she wasn't sick and she was smiling the whole time. But love that feed. But this was first there when I read, "Oh, look at Gigi on the cover of the V Magazine standing next to that horrible awkward tree. Doesn't she look beautiful?" And people were like, "That's Bella." And she was like, "Oh, oh yes, Bella too." She's like, "I love this photo. It really reminds you about the environment because here you have a beautiful duck named Gigi and her on her white resilience. And then next to it is one of these poor animals that got stuck in an oil slick that has to be cleaned. Oh, that's Bella. Oh, I'm sorry, Bella. I wish her middle name was started with a piece so we could just call her BP and be done with it. It's, you know, they are on the cover of V Magazine because the V stands for. I'm so very proud of Gigi and the one next to her. Where's Anwa? Take that. If you take the, if you take that little thing out of the A and turn it upside down, it becomes a V like the magazine, which has Gigi on the cover of it. I couldn't watch the show lost because I love Bella. So, I mean, I love Gigi so much that when they talked about the others, I got scared because I thought they were talking about Bella and Anwa. Oh, God. This is my favorite magazine because not only is Gigi on the cover of it with the other one, but also they let me write an up ad in it in which I said to my love David, thank you for making a magazine possible. Signed me to celebrate. We are bringing the seven tenors out of the basement to sing along with David of a song hero. Don't say anything. Don't talk. Don't talk during David. David, my love. My love. I would like to write another update in the magazine. It's called Why I Can Simply Cannot Go to the Emouthful Coast for a 10th year in a row. I am just so sick of the beautiful water and scenic landscape. Please, can we go to the sessions? Thank you. I'm going to write an op-ed piece called What Is David's Op? I don't know who Ed is. Is that one of Anwa's friends? I don't get it. I'm editor. I didn't know I was going to be a movie. Oh, most people don't realize this, but I'm action editor of op-v magazine. Ever since I wrote an op-ed. I wrote an op-ed for vmagazine. It is entitled I'm Tired. And then in the body it says I'm still tired. #Tired. #positive5. Positive Lime Hugs. #GGG. #What is Bella up to these days anyway? #Don't see her. #And Bella too. Oh, you know, Bella has a, you know, we are very excited for Bella. She's going to have a pictorial and popular mechanics magazine. She's going to be showing gears. She has crashed her car so many times that she knows what the inside looks like. They wanted her to be on the cover of cars rather magazine, but we all agreed that'd be a bad idea. Corrin driver. I told him when they get one Gigi and driver, she can be in it in the backseat. Anwa has a beautiful photo pictorial in the trunk. Anwa has a pictorial in the penny saver. I love that Instagram because you can find out who on the internet is just like a misery orgy person. You know, like, people who like misery orgies and they just go to sick people's instagrams and they're like, "Oh, you're so strong girl. I have hot skins." It's like, "Oh God." Like, every comment is like, "Girl, you're so strong and brave." I'm like, "Listen, she has the nap illness." All right, I've had that since I was a child. Please, no one's feeling sorry for me. Johan, Johan's like, "Mystery loves company. That's why I love my love David and Gigi." You know, Bella, you know, give or take. She can be someone else's company. And by the way, thank you Lindsey McDonald for posting that on our Facebook page. And speaking of Instagram, everyone was tagging us in this post because Lisa Vanderbump last night took a picture at the SLS in Vegas with a giant platter or giant plate of salmon tartar and just everyone tagged us. And I love that. I love that. People see Lisa Vanderbump with tartar of any sort. They just know to tag us in it. Everyone was like, "Chef Petty. Chef Petty is working at the SLS now." Yeah, because you know that Lisa was so excited to see that because she's like, "Darling, we've got tuna tartar now and I love that I love the way that you've done it because you've not only done a tuna tartar, but it's round. It's round. It's a tuna tartar and a rice cake darling." I mean, that's boundary crossing right there. Darling, you're just breaking all the barriers in Las Vegas. It's a tartar bout. It's a wall of tartar and you just knocked it down, darling. Basically, Chef Petty has helped create a tuna tartar that sat down at the back of the bus and refused to get up, darling. All right, that's how brave our tartar is. Darling, we have just we're just miles ahead of the rest of Vegas. Miles ahead. Chef Petty, they need you at the flamingo resort so they can get some tartar. They get that tartar game up. We are going to make a statue for the West Hollywood park called the Rosa Tartar Parks statue. It's just going to be a rice cake with tartar. We're going to put a high up enough on a big giant stone vase from Africa that homeless people can't pee on, darling. All right, Chef Petty, here's what you do. All right, you walk into Sita's palace and you say, "Stop everything you're doing right now. Build me a stadium like the one you build for Celine Dion and we're going to have nothing but salmon tartar in the middle of it." Oh, Lisa, revolutionary diner. And then our other big piece of gossip is that Luann debuted her new single Girl Code on Watch What Happens Live. Yeah, okay, so I have been working on a parody of Girl Code because I heard that she was coming out with a song called Girl Code. And then I saw the real Girl Code and I was like, "Wow, you have put way too much effort into this parody." Yeah, especially because it does, Girl Code does parodies itself. Like, why are you making a parody of something that's like using an Apple loop over and over again, and then not even bothering to write a chorus? The best part of that video are not the lyrics because honestly, I couldn't really understand most of them, which was odd because they were recorded first. But the best part was, well, there's two best parts. The daughter kind of trying to sled it up, which is never going to work, and also Luann throwing her hands in the air was amazing. Yeah, and then Derinda in the background with Sonya, they're both like, "What the fuck?" Derinda's like, "Look at her, raising the roof. My father used to raise the roof here. If he was here right now, he'd try and fix the phone. God, bless him." She probably walked up to every dancer and was like, "You know what? Back it up. Back it up. You're a back-up dancer. Literally back up." Once everybody's so upset about so they made a sandwich, so they did a sandwich dance. She's 40. She could make a sandwich dance. If you don't want to listen to a song about a sandwich, don't have a sandwich. Luann was just, was just shaved Boi's head right now in the middle of a white boy's sandwich. It was amazing. Ramona's like, "I brought mustard for Mario. If he doesn't show up, I'll put mustard on Luann." Okay. Whoa. This is really bringing me back. Okay. When I was a girl, I would go to school. My mother would always make me a lunch. And what she always made me for lunch was a sandwich. Okay. And this is reminding me like I would always have sandwiches. And one time I went out to the forest and I couldn't find my sandwich. Okay. And I thought, "Where's the sandwich?" All right. Whoa. I can't have sandwiches in the forest. I can't even watch Luann do her number. Because she sounds just like the lady when I'm trying to call Mario. And I get his voicemail. And the lady says, "Leaf your number." You know, it reminds me of her. And it's traumatizing. I can't do it anymore. I'm not going to listen to it. I'm not going to listen. Whoa. Whoa. This one time, this is real. Okay. This is really taking me back right now. It's kind of crazy. One time, I told my mom, "You know what? I'm sick of a ham and cheese sandwich. Can't you make me something else?" And my mom said, "There's nothing else to be made." And my dad said, "You know what? Why don't you make a spaghetti sandwich? Do a thing of spaghetti right in your face." And I said, "Whoa. That's a great idea for a sandwich." Okay. That's a helicopter coming for me. Okay. Hello. This is Roberta Singer. Please leave me a message. Okay. I remember one time. I remember one time, I was like, "You know what? I really want a sandwich." And I got really confused. So I went to a subway. But then I got onto a train and there were no sandwiches there. I was so confused. Okay? No, I just never lost so much weight. You know, Geraldine Parsons Smith used to be a sandwich artist. Okay. That's subway. Subway. Okay. Okay, Ben. Okay. I'm moving over. So I'm taking a week to start with the Real Housewives of New York City, where there's huge twist this summer. Yes. So we say this every year with perhaps the exception of Montana, although it was still funny, Real Housewives of New York City do the best vacations out of all the Real Housewives. These women go so bad shit crazy on vacation, there's just nothing else like it. I mean, Scary Island is by far the greatest vacation in Bravo history. You have Morocco, which still has one of my favorite moments of all time, which is Ramona showing up late to Luan's like homemade dinner. And then I'll be like, this is this is not the Ritz Carlton. This is Morocco, whatever she said. All these, all these just great moments every single year. And this wow, Church and Gate goes right up there already. Didn't Luan get kicked off the camel? She almost did. She got thrashed around a lot. I mean, come on. So yeah, so this one is Cox and Poochy's or wherever they go. Kirk's and Kakos. Church and Gate goes. But before we even get there though, the episode starts off like where the last one ended. Remember the last one ended with Ramona yelling at telling Kristin like, are you so dumb? Are you so dumb you don't realize how to talk to Bethany? And then Kristin walks away and it's like to be continued. So this one starts up and it's like Kristin walks away. And the other one were like, wow, that was intense. And they're like, oh, hey, how's it going? That was fun. I was like, oh, see the woman be like, oh, hey, how are you? This is you. Yeah, all Kristin does is walk away. She's like, you see this glass? I'm going to walk away and I'm going to be carrying it. And then I'm going to invent it. And it's going to be called a glass. My passion is glasses. Okay, not the kind you wear, the kind you drink out of. And I'm starting a new company. I'm calling it glass of champagne. I might even do one without a stem and I'm going to call it a cup. So watch out. That was pretty good. Yeah, and the women are like, so anyway, back to the suite, you know, I knew FDR. It's the first time I've ever given anybody a lot dance. So blah, blah, blah. So then to render tells Ramona, Ramona, you're too aggressive. Why were you so beat the poor little Kristin? Kristin so dawg, you were aggressive. And everyone's like, I was aggressive. It's like, you were Ramona, you were mean. I did like it, Mr. Jetson. And everyone's like, all right, I was aggressive. Okay. I admit it. I was a little aggressive, but I'm very defensive about that to me. You know, she grew up at a race track. Do you know how hard that must be? I'm very defensive, unless she decides to have a rival brunch of mine. In which case, fuck her. Okay. I'm sorry. You know, as day class A, as day class A to invite my guest to your brunch. Okay. I'm going to have a brunch, which I just decided I'm going to do right now. Okay. Hmm. All right. Maybe I delivered it the wrong way like the other day when I showed it up to Mary's apartment. And I opened the door with a key I had secretly made from the one that he leaves under his mat. And he was like, I didn't order anything. And I was like, delivery, lingerie. And then he threw up on his on a 20 year old blog girl, which he's totally free to do because I don't care. I'm freeing its new life and whip a single. So who cares? I'm renewed. I'm renewed. I'm renewed. Oh, Ramana. So they're all getting ready to go down to this red carpet premiere of Luan's new Mervin's line. Yeah. And they go down there and Sonia did not go up to the suite because she figured fuck this. I'm going to be on this red carpet that means nothing before everybody else can like pose with me. And so Sonia's standing there with the dumbest look on her face. I love Sonia's stupid model look. She said, I mean, she's so out of it. And so Blavish is probably like, wow, I can't believe they put up a step and repeat for my fashion line. So she's standing there looking dumb and Luan walks in. She's like, oh, they're Sonia. She wasn't in the FDR suite because she's down here on the red carpet. She gained weight. She looks fab in the ass. She's like, I ran into such an underliner. When she's when she gets mad at someone, if someone like wrongs or like doesn't show up to her FDR suite or whatever, oh, she knows exactly how to undermine them. Well, look at this. Look at Sonia. She of course, she goes right to the red carpet. Oh, so she's gained five pounds. You know, is that Oh, Sonia? It's probably because she's drinking everything. Oh, Sonia. Um, and then, and then, uh, Ramana, Ramana and Sonia are like walking around. And of course, these women, I think everyone's looking at them. And somebody's like, oh, I think someone just gave me the side eye. Everyone's like, cyanide. Isn't that poisonous? So why are people poisoning you? Oh, my God. Don't trick it a Luan party. Are you a, are you a secret spy? Okay. So I can take the pill, say, cyanide pill. Okay. People don't know Sonia's strength, but when we were at a party, someone gave her cyanide and she's fine. Look at her. She could run a marathon right now because she's Sonia. And you know, that's what I always say. When Sonia's acting crazy as she's taking poison, you just wait. She'll boop it out. Whatever. Who knows? I mean, I don't care. I don't know. I'm new. What do I care what Sonia does? She's poison and she's fine. You know, when Sonia takes cyanide, you just never know what you're going to get. Maybe she'll die. Or maybe she'll just have a lot of fun. You just never know. Okay. Um, and then Sonia, as if knowing what's coming on this trip, it just orders a Diet Coke. She's like, I'll just have a Diet Coke because I have a really busy day tomorrow. Yeah. You do? What does that entail exactly? She's like, wake up. Um, staple on pickles arm. I have a hot date with computer number three. I'm going to attach some bubble gum to one of the circuit boards and see if it fixes it. 9 10 a.m. Make sure there's no one in the four year. Well, you know, big, big things are happening. Uh, like, uh, like chair number four is, uh, is due for some repairs. I'm going to take one of the legs from chair number one and one of the legs from chair number two and then something from, uh, bar stool number five. Try to fish it before with it. Oh, there were a lot of snotty little comments going on throughout this and I loved it. First of all, the shwami priest, priest lady idiot is back. Robin. No. Robin, the shwami priestess looks at Luan. He's like, well, this is schleppy. Like, I don't think that doesn't sound very swami priestess of you. I don't think it gets schleppier than a shwami priestess. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. That's as schleppy as it gets. Yeah. Like, you're just like one step above a gumball machine. Yeah, you're named after a side dish at like an Indian fast food place like your named after your named after chicken on a stick at a Greek place. Okay, get over yourself. Shwami. Swami priestesses who hang out with Upper East Side ladies and go to fashion events. They've probably got it wrong. She's probably a shwarma princess. She has a lot of Lebanese food. She, uh, she usually spends most of her time on a registry. She, um, she's like, I just got off work at Robros Chicken and even I wouldn't wear this. I love, by the way, how also Ramona is such a cock block. Like this super handsome black guy starts talking to Sonia and like he's like floating with her and then Ramona just comes in and starts like doing this thing with her hand in between them. She's like, whoa, whoa, a lot of animal attraction going on right here. Okay. Okay. Like you're such a cock block. Get out of there. It's like, I don't know about this. What's going on here? Oh my god. That guy's talking to you. It's the one who gave you cyanide. Do not try and date rape Sonia with cyanide. Sonia, be careful. He's a black. Okay. Oh my god, Ramona, Ramona is mortifying, but also hilarious. Um, but I love that Sonia is the one. She's like, yeah, well, maybe it's a little schleppy for me. And then Sonia, Sonia tells the shwarma priestess. She's like, well, you know, this is for the masses minus for the classes. I'm like, bitch, please. And she's like, everything can't be eye level because you need, you need it to all be above you. I mean, nobody wants you, you know, spilling your Ramona Pinot all over it. You know, I'm like, Sonia, at your launch, you, first of all, you didn't have a launch. You were on the cover of some, like, minority magazine that you're not even a minority part of that minority. A second of all, you had one dress that you wore for like five days in a row. Yeah. Get out. What are you talking about? Shut up. Exactly. And, um, what I loved was how she's like, well, I'm not going to tell, I'm not going to tell the way in that the Swami priestess said that. I'm not going to say it. Who's going to say it? Then Kristin walks over and like, and then she tells Kristin and Kristin's like, what? And like, don't tell Luann. Oh, you're going to tell Luann. Oh, yeah. Now I see it. You got that sour face that Bethany was talking about, which of course is what we, we, we, uh, we didn't talk about, which was that before all this happened, uh, Bethany and Kristin, Bethany and Kristin were talking, um, they, they guess they were like rehashing some of this, like the latest issue about like, um, how, how Kristin was just like chewed out by Ramona. And, and Kristin, of course, is so snotty these days. She's like, well, apparently we had an issue. I didn't even realize that according to Ramona, we had an issue and Beth is like, what issue? Well, you didn't have an issue. It was this next issue.com. We didn't have an issue. And Kristin's like, yeah, I know. But that being said, um, it's like the latest issue I've got just got delivered to my iPad. So I mean, I don't know what you're talking about, but I've already got that issue. I don't have to wait in the store. I've already got the next issue. So whatever I'm tired, uh, next issue slash tired going to sleep, crying on the floor. And then Bethany starts, I mean, the conversation was going a mile a minute. It was hard to keep up, but then Bethany started to kind of like defend Ramona. She's like, no, you know, the thing is this, you know, the thing is that what we're talking about today is just, you know, you just have a very sour face, you know, you just have a look on your face. It's like very, very sour. That's all nothing big. That's like, whoa, that's rude. Oh, that's it. Just a sour face. Just an ugly face. That's all. And she also told her, I mean, what, why would I attack you? I mean, I don't even know you. I don't know you. Why would I attack you? I'm not going to attack your business. I don't know you. I don't know your business. I was just saying there was a makeup company called Pop and then you say Pop of color. And I said, what's up with that? That's it. That's it. I don't care. I don't know you. Well, I'd like to get to know you. Well, yeah, that's fine. But I don't know you right now. So, you know, you know, if I don't, I'm just on this new business. I don't see the yellow pages. You know, it's not a next issue.com. It's not an economist, which I read on next issue.com. I mean, here's what you do. Like, if you have a problem with me, just talk to me. And she's like, but I did try and talk to you. She's like, yeah, but try and talk to me when you don't have that face. She's like, yeah, but this is my face. And she's like, then I don't know you. Like, I don't know you. I don't know that face. I don't want that face. I don't want to know that face. I'm like a baby, okay? Like, if you smile, I recognize if you frown, I don't. Okay, it's like peek-a-boo. All right. All right. I've never gone beyond peek-a-boo. I mean, like, anything beyond peek-a-boo, I mean, like kill me right now. Okay. Am I supposed to recognize someone if they frown? I don't get it. I don't know too much for me. All right? Sorry. One time Brit played peek-a-boo with me, and I almost threw her out the window. And then I realized, I'm going to lose custody. And you know what? I'm going to cry. I'm going to be on the floor crying if you play peek-a-boo with me one more time. Get that face out of here. I don't know her. You know, the worst part about peek-a-boo is that like, when people take away those hands, it's like the wall is gone. I need the hands up. Okay. I need the hands up. I need the wall up. Wall up. If you ask me to take my hands down and smile at you, I will be on the ground crime right now. Okay. Hand wall, hand wall. I need barn doors with my hands right now. Barn doors. Okay. Wall up. Let's talk about something else. All right. I'm sorry. I can't do it with right now, Kristen. You have a sour face. It's so difficult because I just want to be, you know, it's difficult being homeless, and I'm looking for an apartment so hot. And I just want a house that has doors made out of hands. I just want hand doors. Hand walls. Hand walls. Hand doors. And then if someone, if someone rings the doorbell, I'm going to open up the hands just a little bit, and then you're going to laugh. Okay. And if you don't laugh, I can't have to close the doors immediately. And then stupid Kristen's like, well, I really wanted to have this talk with Bethany, but I feel like I got punched. What'd you say? I was like, I feel like I got strangled or something. I feel like I got mugged. I feel like I got mugged. I kind of know what she's talking about, though, where it's like, oh, I guess I said everything I wanted to say. And yet somehow I feel violated. By Bethany's razor sharp, you know, tongue. So let me, God, I really need to buy pens. Or maybe I should just start typing notes, because I don't even know. This is like just one big squiggle. Dresses at eye level. We've already talked about masses, not classes. Derinda doesn't sound. Swami priest. Derinda. What am I talking about? Does anybody know what my notes say? Carol, videoing. I guess let's just go to the, yeah, my next is going to try doing also. So they went on. So they go on the trip. Carol's got a camera. She's giving you a card and everything. It's Carol Cam. And everyone's so annoyed that she has a camera. Personally, I love it. Well, I love the Ramona's like, what is, what does she have to have a camera? Like, why, why is it? It's enough already. Like, we don't need your camera. Like, the camera is very intrusive. We don't need a camera here. I'm like, you realize there's like six different cameras, falling around at any given time. And Carol's is the least offensive. Well, Carol has that camera because she's pulling a Jill's errand and trying to get her own footage in case there's anything to argue about later. So that they can't lie and say that that was never on tape. She's got that footage. She's basically pulling whatever the cast member shots did that had hit behind a pylon until Mike took Gigi and Ramona taped it on their iPhone or whatever. That's basically what she's doing, but that in public. Maybe she's just recording the space to show like what it looked like before there are ping pong balls everywhere. She's like, I'm still, I've still got my youth. And these kids are using this new app called YouTube. You can record a video and then it'll everyone can see it on the computer. Carol, Carol bitch project. And Carol's like, I'm just taping it because so much fun stuff happens on the on the trips. Well, she means, listen, if no one's gonna hide in the green house to catch Sonya getting fucked up the butt by the same lame waiter who fucked Luan up the butt last night, I will come with my own camera. Yeah, yeah, pretty much. There's like, there's so much fun stuff that happens. And it's like, I just love how she just acts like it's not being documented whatsoever. Like not being documented in this camera. I love that she has a camcorder too. Oh, it's outdated. She's like, everybody needs to stay still because it takes five minutes, but then this thing's gonna go up. It's called a flash. It looks like a firework. And then it's gonna draw her pictures on 10. But yeah, we asked something really exciting because at the end of the day, if this if this place comes equipped with this new machine called a VCR, we can watch all the footage afterwards. We don't have to take it to the place for it to get developed anymore. It's like, don't worry, guys, we can watch this in a week. We won't have to wait for beta max to come out. So Carol with a camera. And then immediately it becomes like they've just been let into the big brother house. And they're like, what are you so excited about? I know. I am always amused that they just make so much like such a big to do about choosing beds. This time it was like 10 full minutes of airtime devoted to watch these women running around like rabid ferrets trying to find the bedroom. When they by the way, as someone mentioned, all the bedrooms were exactly the same. They're running around like there. And then I love. So Ramona, Ramona's like, Ramona found a bedroom that she wants. Sonya found one upstairs today. And then we sat there watching once and he says, well, you guys sing. Hey, sing it. Come, come check out this bedroom up here. No. Okay. We found a good one down here. Okay. We can walk to the beach and we got food next next door. Come on now. Come on. They just yelling back and forth. And Luanne is trying to like, you know, be above it all. She's like, ladies, ladies, you know, if you just walk, you just walk around like, like, like dignified women, you'll find your own bedroom that's perfectly acceptable. It is. Yeah, she's like, what did what dignified woman has the best bedroom? You think Michelle Obama has the best bedroom? No, she's down the hall. I'm not going to get screwed out of Obama's bedroom. I want the oval. All right. Come on, Sonya, let's do it. And she's like, singer. Hey, singer, come up here. There's two computers and they both work. Singer, get up here. There's already stains on this comforter. No one will get mad at me and try and charge us when we leave. Singer, this one has a bathtub. But you know what, though, I'm just going to take off the handles and keep them from my apartment. I like pots. And then everybody gets upset over the room because Sonya has stolen the best room and you're not a love Sonya because she I mean, not Sonya Ramona because Ramona doesn't even argue with anybody. She's just like, listen, every year means Sonya share a room and so we get the biggest room. So that's it. That's it. I'm done. I'm not talking about it anymore. I don't care. And then she just walks in the ground. She goes, oh, everyone knows it. Everyone knows that we always room together. Everyone knows where I was at the first bedroom. I like Bethany's like, what? What? What do you mean, everyone knows? This is not like a thing. I like when she called her on a bed. What are you? A four year old child? Even four year olds don't act like this. I mean, Brenda did this once and guess what? I moved, you know, I moved her out. You know, now she's living in a crate and she's living in a postal office box, basically, is what she's living now. So I'm surprised Bethany did not have a breakdown. She's like, oh my god, everyone has everyone has a room except for me. I'm homeless. I'm literally homeless. I mean, the tricksy cake goes, I'm homeless. It should be called tricks and cake goes in homelessness. Okay, because that's what this is. That's what the silent is. Poverty. And I'm back with me at the racetrack, smallest doll in the room. Like no one cares. No one cares. I did like when she called Ramona Benjamin Button. She's like, you go in the wrong way. You're going the wrong way. Of course, that would mean that she's turning into Brad Pitt. Yeah. Which is not happening. So suddenly and then suddenly I'm sure it lists on the side of the road. And these two like middle-aged women picked me up. And before you know what, they're driving off a cliff. We're all dead. I mean, what the hell? Yeah, what the hell? And then here comes Madeline Stowe. And here comes a global global plague. And we could have been trying traveling all this time. What the hell? Remember that time when I went to Tibet? I like when when Sonia's like, oh, look at, look at this place. It's so exclusive. It reminds me of, oh God, it just reminds me of trips I used to take with my husband. Someone is going to foreclose on this house any minute and it won't be right until they do. My right guys. Oh my God. So they're walking around the house. They finally get their rooms. But then Ramona has picked the wrong room because there's no bath. No bath within immediate vicinity. And stupid Sonia, well, you don't want to see us trying to take a shower. Like we don't even know how to work the knobs. And somehow I believe that. Yeah. Well, she probably is like talking to shower head like, Hey, hey, you. So we're like, Hey, you look young. Wow. You are your your testicles are so firm and they twist. Finally, something that can stay hard for like days. I'm down. I'm concerned. I'm concerned. Ellen, you're you have an erection down here. She's just basically saying her water's been turned off for a long time because you know that bathtub just stays filled. She's like, okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna take a bath, have one of the interns go there, go in there and blow on the water until it's hot. The only reason why she takes baths is probably because the shower at her home is filled with like all sorts of like old boomboxes and lamps that are broken. It's like storage. Port Pickles probably looks like she's been in a pool for five years because Sonia just makes her lie in the tub to keep it body temperature. We never see pickles anymore. It's top number three at body temperature yet, pickles. Hey, pickles. How's top number two doing? Okay, they both have to be a body temperature. I like to decide between which but I'm gonna do. And then of course, Ramona is like, Oh my God, it's so lovely being in Mexico because I know Spanish. Hey, Mexicano. Move my shoes. Oh, I'm packing my things. Oh my God, this man is so embarrassing. She's so embarrassing. Hey, can you help me? Can you help me unpack? Okay, I've just got a lot of stuff. You're okay. It's like, you know what, bitch, if you could put it in, you can take it out. It's not that hard. Take the shoes and just like put them put them down and she doesn't wear her own shoes. Anyway, she just goes and steals Carol's and Carol's like, wait a second. Those are my shoes. Those are Fredericks of Hollywood for $3. And Ramona's like, Oh, who's Frederic? I love him. I love his work. These are great. So he was like, well, you know, Frederic and I, you know, Frederic and I used to take yachts all the time to Sandra Bay. I'm Sony of New York. He's Frederic of Hollywood. And the three of us get on the yacht and we get on to computer number three, and we chart out a destination for ourselves. I knew him when he was Fredericks of Dubai. Yeah, I mean, that guy. What a tipper. What a tipper. We used to do habitat for humanity and build mansions in India. You know, Taj Mahal, we built that. We built that. We don't actually build the homes. We just go watch poor people do it. And then I fuck them inside of the home and they get paid after. I mean, it's a wonderful job. It's like for charity. And I get to, you know, make my money. It's wonderful. I've worked my whole life. Here's something you didn't know. Taj Mahal is actually the third one. That's actually Taj Mahal number three. We built it from parts of Taj number one and Taj number two. Always make sure you build three Taj Mahals. That way you have parts when the third one breaks. Speaking of interchangeable parts, when they arrived, there's a hot young chef. And I noticed that Lou Wern was first to be like, hello, young chef. What's your name? Great. Now you work for me. No one is fucking the chef. He works for me. It's called Girl Code, all right? Girl Code. I loved actually when Bethany and Luan did their Ramona impersonation. They're like, here's what's gonna happen. And I'm like, you know what? I really have to, I want to apologize. They were so dead, both of them were dead on. But the fact that hearing Luan do a Ramona voice was crazy because I thought the only voice that Luan could do was just Imperial Luan. Luan. Always Luan darling. Always, always countess Luan. Always. So when she did the, you know what, I want to apologize, I was cracking up. Like two seconds later, Ramona comes up. All right, you guys, I just want to say that you are right. I was a little too much in the beginning and I misread the situation and my delivery was wrong. And I just want to say that now before I enter your home, I'll be careful that I'm delivering to the right people. Okay. But I loved how shady Luan was being. Like Luan, I think it was, I think it was Luan and Bethany or did it just, did it switch to Luan and Carol at one point. I think it was Luan and Bethany because Bethany was saying that her superhero name would be the apologizer. Yeah, because then I loved it. But I love Luan. Like when Luan is shady, at one point she says to Beth and she's like, you know, you go on a trip with Ramona, you just want to strangle her within 10 minutes. Oh, when Ramona is like, I'm so sorry Bethany because I was acting like that and that was inappropriate. So I'm really sorry. Okay. And then Luan's like, what about me? Are you sorry to me? I mean, you almost pushed me down in the middle of that thing when I was talking to my friend, the chef, and then suddenly you're just pushing me down like a bull out of a pan trying to get to a root. She's like, you don't count Luan. All right. No one cares, Luan. All right. And then we were also treated to a few wonderful visuals such as like Ramona in this crazy yellow sunshine bikini where she was like doing these weird squats and these and these tacky heels. And then next to me new Ramona was doing these old lady breaststrokes and pool noodles in the pool. They just kept on cutting to her, like slowly going back and forth and doing laps. I was losing my shit because it's such a funny, I don't know why it was so funny to me, but just seeing her doing this stupid old lady breaststroke cracked me up. It's like, I'm so different now. I mean, this trip has totally changed me. I mean, here I am. I'm in the pool and I'm actually swimming with a noodle. You know, the first time I ever had a noodle was off of my mother's face because of my father's through a noodle at her. And then he made me eat it off of her face. I've never had a noodle that you can actually float on. I mean, usable noodles. Who knew Happy Father's Day to me? Okay, this one time I was swimming in the pool and Geraldine Parsons Smith came over and was like, hey, try this in a tube. And I was like, no, I have pool noodles. Thank you very much. And she said, no, take it. And she threw it at me and hit my face. And now I can barely swim in pools to this day. Okay. And Kristen was, you know, earning that money because she says nothing. But then they show her like doing her model walk on the beach and her bikini, which was so funny. She came back and she's like, do you guys know like how much wet stuff is in the ocean? I mean, it was like someone sweat on me, you guys. Let's talk about it. It was like the Earth just sweat it on me. By the way, I also loved in the mix at round this time. Somewhere in the middle, Sonia got onto an inflatable whale and they just kept on showing footage of her on an inflatable whale. And I just cracked up because she was just like going around and she wasn't even going anywhere. She was just like rotating like she was on the prices right. Like it was just the whale was rotating and she was just on it. And I was like, this is Sonia's life. She's on an inflatable whale and she's going to tell people afterwards. She's like, oh, yeah, no, we went to Turks and Caicos and we swam in the blue whales. It was wonderful. She's like, hey, girls, I just arrived at the house and there's a smooth young thing out there and all it really wants to do is blown to be work. So found my friend for the week. Bye. Guys, I have bad news. Whale number four is sinking. Whale number four is sinking. Someone get the plastic from whale number three. Pickles, pickles. We need something. We need to fix this. Get the masking tape. Okay. Whale number four is leaking. It's deflating. Come on. Hurry up. I'm about to go down. I'm about to go down. Come on. Stay with me. Whale number four. Bethany and Heather bonding was so funny because I love my favorite thing about women friendships and hate ships is the little things that they'll hate each other over and then the even smaller things that they'll bond over like these two women hate each other's guts. They're just not going to like each other period, but they bond because Ramona is so awful. You know, like they can at least bond on that. They're like, oh my God, aren't they terrible? I know. I hate when they pooped themselves. Oh my God. You know, trying to educate them. Oh, I know like bonding over an idiotic child. Exactly. I love that too. And again, it was like Luan just like the master of all these digs. It's so funny. My next night I didn't realize after talking about the whale thing. At one point there was like some everyone was like going somewhere and there was like you heard Luan say it was like not highlighted. It wasn't subtitled, but you could hear Luan say overall like the mess she goes, where did Sony go with her? Well, you know, just like the way Luan says it, you know, that when she says it, like it's somehow a dig. Yeah, we're so well. Durinda's like, I appreciate it. To watch how you talk about my husband. All right, my my boyfriend. It's the third one. I can't have another one. All right. Step back. Step back it up. Back it up. Back up that whale. Okay, that whale sporty. If he wants to be made a sandwich of, you know, by sandwich by so yeah, that he's totally free to do that. I don't care where it was an adult. I don't care how endangered that whale is. If you want to make a whale sandwich, make a whale sandwich. Okay. I can't get into pool. Okay, I'll short circuit. And Bethany also said like, I don't even know what Ramon is even dressed so dressed up for with the stripper heels. I mean, Jesus, we're in the middle of nowhere. There is nobody here except like a 20 year old house with Luan's gonna fuck later. So then we get to, I guess, dinner and Luan, of course, has to toast because to Luan, every trip is a Luan trip, Don. There was, I think there was stuff before Luan. Are you talking about when Luan's sitting down at the dinner table? I don't even know. I just have toast, toast. Okay, because I have it. I'm at the part where they're all just like getting drunk beforehand. They're standing around and Ramona's saying something. Ramona's talking about like, I guess she doesn't want to have sex anymore. And she's like, I don't want any action. I just want to go out and enjoy conversations and see the beautiful setting. Okay. Oh, yeah. Tony is like, Oh my God, I can't wait to fuck this entire town. I'm gonna meet Kirk and I'm gonna meet Caicos and I'm fucking on both. And they're like, no, Turk and Caicos is actually a place really because I used to know a pair of brothers named Turk and Caicos and Dubai. Oh, what tippers? They love my comedy. Those guys knew how to appreciate all it. Yeah, they were big fans. We'd get on the yacht and go from Dubai all the way to San Tropez. And when we get there, the three of us, and I'm by three, I mean, also John, John and Madonna would come and I'd just do my comedy. And they'd be like, this is the best stuff ever. Get the whales. Last time I did an airplane joke. Oh, those were the days. Yeah, so they're talking about how Ramona wants to get boned. And Ramona is like, I don't want the action. I just want to talk about the beautiful setting. Okay, beautiful setting. And then Chris is like, yeah, there's something nice about dating. And Ramona's like, Oh, thank you. Thank you. Oh, you get me. She gets me. Okay, it's wonderful. She's, you know, you're so smart. You're so smart. I'm in shock. I'm in shock that you're so perceptive. Okay. I'm in shock. Okay. Well, like Kristen wouldn't understand that. I mean, Kristen can totally understand getting married and never wanting to fuck. She's married to a garbage pail kid in a fedora. Okay, if anyone's going to understand you, it's Kristen. Yeah. And Kristen looked like she's having the worst time. She had her sour face on. She's like, uh, get me out of this house, the old ladies while Ramona's like hugging up to her and like sloshing, piano, rego on her breath. She's like, you know, you get me. You're so perceptive. Okay. You know what? If I had a codline, I'd write you a card right now. It said, Kristen, thank you for not being stupid for a day. Like Ramona. Okay. I love how yellow your hair is. It reminds me of sunshine. Oh my God. Look, that's gonna be slant your card. It says, I don't know you. Beat. I'm so sweet. You see, she's trying. She's really trying. Yeah, Kristen looked not happy. Loved it. Boxed out. Boxed out. So they go is now where they're having dinner. Yeah. Now it's really getting cross cut between dinner and Bethany trying to help Sonya. So yeah, they, yeah, at this point, they do sit down for dinner while Bethany and Sonya are still in the kitchen area. And Luan's like, I would just like to say thank you for all coming on my vacation to Turks and Caicos. And I'm really glad to host you all at my home. And I just wanted to say thank you. And you know what? This is a toast for Durinda. And Ramona's like toast. No one's having toast here. Have you seen me do pushups? I'm gonna do pushups right now. I mean Ramona, stop with the fucking working out in public. No one can see it. And also it gives you a mommy, mommy pooch. Stop it. Yeah, stop it Ramona. Meanwhile, Bethany is up for what they call it a fool's errand. She's trying to help Sonya because Sonya got mad because they were talking about how drunk Sonya has been lately and how the other day Sonya was all over this guy. There was this guy who first she, he's the husband of Luan's friend. And Sonya first told the friend like, oh, is this your gay husband? And she's like, no, it's my husband. She's like, oh, and then she tried to like make out with him. So people were like giving her a shift for that. And then Sonya was like, you know, shut up. That's below the belt. That's below the belt, you know, because she's wasted now. No, Sonya was below the belt. That's the problem. Yeah, exactly. But now Sonya was drunk and in victim mode. So everyone just knows just to steer clear. But Bethany is like, you know what, Sonya, you hear, you know what, you have to listen. You have to listen. And then there's five minutes of Bethany saying you have to listen. And Sonya's like, I do listen. I listen all the time. I wouldn't get to where I am without listening. You know where I am? I'm in a listening place. Bethany said, no, you have to listen to me. She's like, and another thing in Santropay. Everyone listens to me there. No, no, you have to listen to me. And you know what else I like listening to the Sonya Morgan podcast, which I listen to every, I'm listening to it right down my head. Are you talking? Because I'm listening to a podcast in my head. No, I'm listening to you, Bethany. No, really. Oh my God, I was so funny at this part. Listen, I'm a listen, I'm a very good listener. Okay. Like every time the every time my dot matrix printer goes off and goes, I'm more like, there's a dot matrix printer. I'm listening. I hear things. Okay, Bethany? It's the worst intervention of all time. Bethany is just trying to tell her to stop drinking be such a whore. And listen, everyone knows that we know from Beverly Hills. But at Beverly Hills, I think it was almost less annoying because they were being kind of sensitive on this show. They're just like, you're a drunk stop. You're a drunk whore, stop it. You know, and she's like, well, listen, I went through a divorce. I almost funded a terrible movie. I mean, it's been very difficult for me. I go out and I party at the end. That's it. I don't drink every day. I don't drink every night. You know, so I suck 15 year old dick. I don't suck every 15 year old dicks. I mean, who cares? It's like one 15 year old, like, do you get in trouble for every 15 year old? I mean, what do you people want from me? Well, I love to also the way that Sonia would turn everything Bethany said into some, some victim-y thing where Bethany was like, Sonia, listen to me. I'm a smart girl. I have things to say to you. And she's like, oh, like, I'm stupid? Well, that's what I mean. I'm stupid. I didn't, hey, I didn't get to where I am by being stupid. Okay. And she's like, well, where are you? I am keeping things together very well. Thank you very much. I'm fighting one of the smartest men in this country. I am fighting President Obama. Thank you very much. It's me and Obama and I am running for president. Thank you. She's so stupid. And I love her when she's saying she's fighting one of the smartest men in the country. That guy still owes her like $3 million in this in trouble or something. That was posted on our Facebook. It couldn't have been that smart. Although maybe he is because he got away from this mess. But what I love is trying to get money out of a smart person does not make you smart. Okay. And I'm no government worker either. Trust me, I'm always in that line. Well, so then Bethany just has his like shot up, shot up. And then it cuts to like the ladies outside who are like midway through the appetizer. And now, now all of a sudden Ramona just like, you know what, this is, you know, this is really upsetting me. You know, I can't be around this right now. This is too much for me. Okay. Okay. Like I'm in a very fragile place. I'm hurting. Okay. Okay. I can't hear this. I can't, now Ramona gets choked up because this is where I was because Meba, when me and Mario, we, we read it all vows and we did them here. And it was just so romantic. And now I have to listen to this yelling. And I don't really like it. I mean, this isn't what I wanted for my vows. I mean, I remember when Mario promised me that he would never leave me. And I promised him to always bring him sides of mustard and to go boxes with whatever sandwich I didn't finish it, whatever restaurant I was at. And now look, only one of us is bringing mustard, only one of us is bringing to go boxes. I can't take this yelling. So of course, this summons the most feared figure of all time. Luanne, the dinner Nazi, because as we mentioned before, when Morocco, when Ramona showed up late, she says, this is not the Plaza Hotel. This is Morocco. Well, God forbid anyone shows up late to dinner. So Luanne's like, I am going to end this right now. She gets up from the table. She walks in and with a look like pure anger on her face. She goes, we are having dinner right now. We're having dinner now. Do you want to continue staying here instead of having dinner? And then like, listen, Luanne? No, we will be there in 10 minutes. We are having dinner. It is dinner time. And dinner is happening. Thank you very much. Bethany's just yelling at her. Walk away. Walk away. Walk away. I don't want to fight darling. I'm just saying, I'm not fighting. I'm just saying, I don't know you. Walk away. I don't want anybody. I don't know right now. Hand wall. Hand wall. I can't see you. All I hear is a man's voice behind my hand. How dare you put up a wall during dinner? Dinner time, Bethany. We're having dinner now. It is dinner. Turks and Caicos is going to build a wall in front of its resort called the rude wall, the wall of rude. So congratulations on your masterpiece because you built it. Congratulations for standing in the kitchen while we're having dinner. It's dinner time. How dare you? How dare you not partake in dinner time? Let's stand next to it. It's dinner. Hold on. I'm going to take that in my hands. Oh my god. It's Luanne. You scared the hell out of me, Luanne. What are you trying to kill me? This is sending me back. I'm on the floor. I'm crying. It's like, is there going to be any, is there going to be any thin fish at dinner? Because otherwise I can't, I can't wall up, wall up. Heather comes out. We have hummus. Hey mama, we have hummus for you at dinner. My man's like, it's dinner time. There's hummus. There's hummus. There's shellfish. It is dinner time. Do you really want to continue staying here yelling while it's dinner time? Turns out the, my best friend, the chef, has had sex with one of Mario's mistresses. So. And you know when they did it, they did it at dinner time. Because that's when all the good things happen. And when you don't participate, you are missing out. So it ends with Bethany screaming at Sonya that she's a drunk slut. And Sonya being like, okay. And then Bethany comes outside and she's like, okay, it's all solved. And by the way, it's not only a drunkenly wandering around the back flirting with the chef. Sonya's, yeah, she was, but Sonya's interpretation of it was that, you know what I realized? I realized when Bethany is trying to speak to me, she's not trying to help me. She's just trying to deal with, she has her own stuff going on. So for her, trying to help me is her way of venting. So you know what? I decided I just let her, let her vent. Like, no, no. Yeah. She was just talking to me about her own issues. When she said I drink too much, it's because she drinks too much. When she says that I need to stop fucking children, I mean, I'm wondering what's going on in her house, honestly, at this point. That goes Sonya. No, this is pretty much detailed towards you, these instructions. Okay. Later, but we knew things were more or less back to normal because then all of a sudden, Ramona was like, there's ice in my wine. Why is there ice in my wine? I need a new wine. I need a new wine. There's ice in my wine. Yeah, Ramona's back to feeling okay. She's like, you know what else I did? When we renewed our vows, I yelled at a Mexican waiter and made him repack my things and then unpack them again as penance for putting wine without ice in it. Wait a, wait a, can you unpack this ice from my wine? Wait a, this is so romantic. I wish Mario was here to be embarrassed. Where is Mario? Doesn't he realize it's dinner time? Mario, late for dinner. Good riddance. We are having dinner. By the way, actually my very favorite part, my very favorite part of the entire hour happened in the previews for next week. When Luann is obviously mad at someone because she made eggs for someone, I think Ramona and she, and clearly Ramona did not have the eggs and so they have this shot from next week where she goes, I made you eggs. Look at this. Scrambled eggs. Alephron says, like she's like on top of everything else or Alephron says, how could you not appreciate that? It's breakfast time. We're having, we're having breakfast. Oh my god. So hold on, let me see this because it actually ended really well. Is this where you are where they're all just toasting each other and giving each other love? She's going to, oh yeah. And Sonia's like, oh, who does Sonia say? This is the part where Bethany closes the door on me and stops being my friend. They're like, no, it's just a hard wall. Calm down. My wall is up. Okay. I can't, I literally can't, I can't look at anything at Cersei Keiko. So okay, it's too much. It's too much. I just want to be in the little box without Kristen. Okay. And have the wall up. Kristen's like, now do you know how it feels Sonia to be in a box? Do you know how it feels when everybody else is in a box eating lobster? And then you're outside of the box? You know, I asked Josh to take me to see the box trolls and he wouldn't. And I felt so boxed out because I couldn't view the box trolls. And the Ramona gets a bug in her vagina. Oh yeah. It's Mario. Mario must have died and now he's been bringing carn immunity. He's still trying to get into my vagina. I might pick him, I might not. Who knows? This is a new me. Could someone unpack this bug for my vagina, please. Thank you. When Heather tells Ramona, listen, I know that you're, I know that you're supportive of Sonia, but you know, you can't enable her and Ramona goes, I don't enable her. I mean, I put water by her bed. Yeah, sells everything. Or maybe a sunshine. Preaching hugs, looks, oh, Bethany looks traumatized. But that's always how Bethany looks. Then they start talking about sex and Luan's like, I just had the best sex of my life two days ago. And here's what I realized girls, you don't need a man. All right, it's not about the man. Finally, for the first time in my life, I understand it's not about a man. And Sonia's like, I know I took home the anal dildo from the cupcake place. My life's never been the same. I've had icing on my vagina for a week. I can't wait until pickles once at the water. I'll get it off. But until then, I'm, I'm delicious. Oh my God. I totally forgot about Luan's moment. I just came to realize that I can have dinner time without a man. It's amazing. It's dinner time, and I don't need a man. But that means it is dinner time. We're eating dinner. Luan's like, listen, ladies, I have figured something out. If you get a smaller house, you don't need a man to pay for a bigger one. Okay. Congrats. Women's lid. I've done it. I've invented women's lid. I've realized that without a man, we can eat dinner whenever we want. Anytime could be dinner time. And right now is dinner time. FYI. So get in here. Everyone's like, cheers toasting to not needing men and having manners during dinner. And this is a really nice moment with a really nice music. And then Bethany's like, I need new wine. She starts yelling for a waiter. And I'm like, you just ended a women empowerment thing by asking a man for something. That's just sad. She's like, you know what? I don't need a man. You know what? I need, I need a wall. Okay. All right. She's like, I wish I could have heard your beautiful speech, but I was behind a hand wall. So sorry. The biggest disappointment in my life was when I went and watched Wally, and it wasn't about walls. So man, I went and saw up. I saw Wally and up. I was like, okay, this double feature is everything I want. A wall that goes up. All right. Nothing. I can't. I was crying. I was crying on the floor, but not because the first 10 minutes of up, I was crying because I didn't have a wall. I need a wall. Oh, and then to then to watch that man's house float away. And of course, the only person who could hang on to with the men and the women who left down, they're dead and homeless. Thanks a lot up. Got that when the house went away, I felt like it was Jason take away my house. I was crying all over again. Do you know how hard did the woman who's dead and on the ground probably worked for that house? She probably worked so hard for that house, and that was God. Now she's probably dead in the car somewhere sleeping. You know what I wanted to say to all those balloons? I want to say, get off my jock. All right. That concludes Real Haswives of New York being shall we move on to secrets and wives? Oh, please, my favorite show. Well, Real Haswives of New York is my favorite show, but secrets and wives. So God, truth and beauty. We open it. Truth and beauty. So here's like the biggest lie. Like that's why you go get implants at a place called truth. That's you know, it's so funny. This is like the third or fourth episode. And it was just I had the same revelation. Like, why is where is the truth in truth and beauty? Where is the truth part of this? Yeah, I've never really thought it either. It's like, what what about this is truth? All it is is trying to mask, trying to mask your, you know, sagging sun damage. Yeah, lies and lies and saggy booty that that store. And then there's nobody in there. So Corey is like, well, I had my friends come by because I want them to show all of our new stuff. And then they have this woman who looks like jigsaw. Yes, like if Heather, okay, if Heather, bro, got the role of jigsaw in the 50 years, this is what she looked like. And the lady's like, it's really important that we talk about the aging process. Like, yeah, we don't want to look old. We want to look young. We want to be revitalized. We're going to go to Corey's truth and beauty event. And then I love how this doctor was like, all right. So if you want to look younger, you want to add some volume, but not in the front of the face. Otherwise, you look like a monkey or a chipmunk. And it cuts all the women looking like monkeys and chipmunks. It's right now. If you want to stay looking young that you get so much Botox that only one of your eye closes when you blink. That's like the biggest sign of too much Botox. And this bitch could not move on to her eyelids. She's like, the newest thing is to put in temple filler. Okay, it makes you look less like a monkey and a chipmunk. I've got filler filler. So then they start talking about all the different things you can inject. And it turns to vaginal rejuvenation. Yeah, because Susan, of course, the poor one from the South Shore. Susan's like, oh, you can get your lips done here. Can you get your vaginal lips did? She's funny. I don't care how much money you got. That's funny. And then the doctor. And then the doctor is like, well, you know, if there's a volunteer, well, I can show someone. And then Corey's like, actually, yes, you can't get your vagina filled. And she's like, oh, really? Oh shit. Yeah. And then Corey's like, well, I'm very passionate about having people feel good about themselves. So I'll show everyone my vagina. Only the men in the only the men in the neighborhood have seen it. Yeah. So she's going to be the guinea pig. And so they're all going to look at her vagina. This show is ridiculous. So she gets on the table and all the women gather around her and just stare at her vagina. And she's like, sorry girls, I just had it whacked. I didn't realize it was an actual expiration date on the thing. I'm so embarrassed. My favorite part is that when she actually opened up her legs, the producers are so hilarious. They added a sound effect. They added like a chime sound effect. Like as if like a magical charm had just happened. And I was like, it was, it was like, they literally went like they did their fingers in the in the chimes, you know. As if like lucky charms are coming out as if as if like rainbows and like sparkle and and star dust has kind of come out. Oh, and then of course, Gail, the stuck up one is like, oh, my God, I cannot believe she's showing her vagina. Yeah, everybody. So they're all getting a veg education back. This is back to my half pen that I was using because I did this on the first. And Gail's like, I don't need it. I don't need a vaginal rejuvenation. Just get a C section. Yeah, I'm sure it looks perfect down there. It probably looks like Jurassic World. The guy about your husband having five hot secretaries is that he messes their vagina socks instead of yours. Yeah, as long as I get to yell at him while he's packing the car, we're going to have a happy marriage. Okay, I do a lot at this company. Don't anybody argue with me? I've decided to give a little white blazer to my vagina. And then everybody's like, let's give a hand for Corey and Susan's like, yeah, put two up there. Lord knows they can fit. I'm all right, guys. Let's put some lip liner on that. All right, let's put a big, nice, dark little line around that. We want them to be bigger. Just put the lip liner all the way on the side of your legs. People don't think that thing's huge. So then we go over to, you know, when it's bad, it's bad. But when it's good, it's so good. I can't walk away from the good, you know? Because Andy comes up to Amy and she's like, listen, Amy, we got to talk because when I drove up to truth and beauty, I saw an author outside and they look horrifying. And now look at you. You look miserable. We got to talk about it. Just talk about it. Because I want you out. I want you out of that. And Amy's like, well, he was mad. You do it. You do it. I like it. I like your Audrey. Those have a hard Audrey voice for her. At the end, a dead flower is still a flower that once had a bloom on it, right? I love him. And he loves me. It's like, oh my God, he's trying to feed you to a plant. What move away from him? The real issue. This is what Andy saw was that Amy and Arthur had a fight in the parking lot. And at the end, Arthur jammed a ring onto Amy's finger. And apparently this is a bad thing because, you know, so the way Amy tells it was that, you know, two years in 2013, Arthur actually proposed and they got engaged. They got a big fight. So she gave the ring back and now he keeps trying to give it the ring, but she wants a different ring. So that's why there's a big fight. I don't want to wait the same. Oh, ring doctor. Yeah. Why do you need a new ring? If he's going to have the same used up woman, you should have the same used up ring. I don't see why you get to get a new ring every time you get in a fight. I mean, especially with Arthur because all you do is fight. He's going to be buying you new rings every fucking day. This poor woman can't get an original ring to save her life. Everything. Everything is like a hand me down. Even her last husband, she got a hand me down ring. I like one is a ring that hasn't been put on Craigslist. Hey, Max, is this ring going to go on Insta? Is it going to go on Insta, Max? Max, get on here too, too. We're putting this on Insta. Hey, Max, get over here. I want you, I want you to put off. I'm putting the ring on me on Insta. I'm going to throw it at him. It'll be great. It'll be on Insta. Then we move over to Gail. Oh, not Gail. I wrote jail. I can't just call this guy jail because I just write whenever I see Susan's husband, I write jail because I don't know his name yet. But I can't do that because in my writing, it looks like Gail. Well, her house was Gail was trying to fix the door. I just can't see that ever happening. Oh my God, the door knobs are falling off. Successful business woman who can't afford new door knobs or at least the nails to give them together, the screws. John. Listen, I fucked a rich man so I could have a door knob from the ruthless people set. And if it's falling out, I refuse to go into this home until it's fixed. One of the girls in a blazer to get over here and fix this door, please. I don't like to turn knobs. It's too much energy. So Jonathan, that's his name, right? Jonathan who's like the light on the earth that is this episode. That's clay. Our resident, Andrew, that's clay. Yeah, Andrew doesn't look just like that guy. He's trying to fix the door and Susan's like, "You can't fix the door, you idiot." And he's like, "Oh, you're a dumb slut." And then one of their moms is there, some grandma's there and she's like, "Yeah, Susan's grandma is like, 'Would you look at that? Would you look at that? He opened the door.' Look at that. It's like the first time your grandfather met me in a bowling alley and called me a runt. He comes with the seat. I knew that he was mine. That old lady looked like she was having the best time. She's just literally just sitting there laughing. She's like, "Ah, you arguing? I love watching a boss in action. It's a romantic." Reminds me of when I went to FDR's suite in New York City and I said, "You know, someday, this week will be legendary." I saw Count has given FDR a lap dance in New York City in 1930. It happened right after dinner time. She made us all eat dinner. She talked like an answering machine. Let me see here. So anyway, he's trying to fix the door and he's like, "What, I can't fix the door?" And she's like, "I don't want to ask Jonathan to fix the doors because, you know, he was in prison and, you know, all he tried to do was give someone advice." And the next thing you know, he's in a place with doors he can't open. I mean, I don't want to ask him to fix the door. "You know, look, I work. You know what? This is why I'm going to fix the door myself because I work. That's what I do." And then Jonathan's like, "Yeah, you think I can't polish your knob? I've been in prison." This time of year is busy. Family obligations, holiday parties, travel, relaxation might fall to the bottom of your priority list. You guys, you need to take time to relax and you need to be somewhere where there's soft white sand healing crystal blue water cloudless skies. We know where that place is. Aruba shake off any cold weather blues and enjoy the islands invigorating sunshine. Aruba has the most sunny days anywhere in the Caribbean. I promise you, this trip is going to be at least 10 times better than the trip to Aaron's Hampton's home on Real Housewives of New York, but that doesn't take much. I mean, it doesn't even compare. Aruba is a geeky gorgeous. Please always choose Aruba over Aaron's home. We know you can't stay on vacation forever, but a trip to Aruba, honestly, it just never ends because the happiness and relaxation you feel in your bones, it just stays with you. Book your trip today at Aruba.com. This episode is sponsored by DoorDash. We're back to tell you more about the latest dash pass annual plan benefit stream max with ads included at no extra cost. You know what's a great night for us ordering DoorDash and cuddling up to watch the max original hacks, which won best comedy deservedly so and we'd love tuning in to see not only icon Gene Smart, but the wonderful and incomparable Rose Abdu who also is a huge Bravo fan. Listen, I'm always in the mood for hacks, but you never know what kind of food I'm in the mood for. Sometimes it's pizza, sometimes it's a salad, and I can get both with DoorDash. How about some ice cream? That's what I like to eat with my hacks. A hundred percent. I will double dash. I will get a salad and then double dash some ice cream. Why not? Sign up for a dash pass annual plan and get max included at no extra cost. It's your door to more. Max is now included with your dash pass annual plan stream max with ads up to one hundred and twenty dollar value included at no extra cost. Terms apply. See door dash.com/max for details. So the big issue is that Amy wants Max to get a job. Max has got to get a job, so that way she's out of Amy's here so she can spend more time with Arthur. And so my relationship and you know, it's going to be much better when Max isn't home. I'm like, how about instead of getting Max a job, you get Max a home. Yeah, get him into a college dorm. How about that? So, but I guess so Max had previously worked for John and it didn't work out. Surprise, surprise. But now Amy is saying asking Susan to ask John to give Max a second chance. And Max, of course, like John's like, no, I'm not going to give that due for a second chance. The kid was an idiot. You didn't even tell me when he was quitting. You just stopped showing up. But Susan and Susan and Amy do like a hold. They're like, we're going to nudge and nudge and nudge and nudge and then we're going to nudge some more. It's called the North Shore nudge. And I love how they did it too because that's totally the mom going to the kindergarten class to apologize for her son like peeing on people. She's like, well, I just wanted to say that when you gave when you gave my child a job that was so generous of you and he was so happy. And I know that he didn't handle it properly. He's like, what do you mean didn't handle it properly? Just what? And never said anything. I know those dumb sluts. Once he figured out that seller met, turning things on without plugging them in first, he got confused and he started crying. And so he came home and we case my screen truck for a week. It was really hard on me and Arthur. You know, I just, I believe in second chances. Well, in the case of Arthur, 34th chances, you know? I believe in second chances, just not for rings. Yeah, I want you only. Can't even think about it. I'm just so overwhelmed. You know, if Max went here, I could have finished my sentence. Okay, but I can't, I can't, I can't say my things. So then, this show is so good. I can talk about even the cars passing by. I can talk about the cars. I love this show. So then we go to Liza, who's actually hanging out with Susan now. She's hanging out with Susan because she's like, listen, Susan, you know, at first I didn't like her, but it turned out that she was such a nice girl when she apologized and she let us make fun of her. And so I thought, you know, what's a friendlier thing? Tell me your friend she's ugly needs a new face. So I've invited her over for a makeover. She needs to look less like less color purple and more color Liza. I thought that was so rude. Like, you do not give that to a woman as a gift. And Susan, you got to hand it to Susan because she was very nice about it. And she's like, look, of course, it's kind of offensive that I'm getting a makeover. But at least, you know, like when Jonathan came back from prison, he started calling me Jerome and, you know, making me pull my hair back and stuff like that. So I mean, it's easier than that. It's easier than that. It's easier than that. You know, I'm going to miss my chole of makeup, but you know what, this is good too. You know, I like it too. Yeah, at least I don't have to pretend to be a man anymore. So she's getting a makeup and it's basically just like not lip liner that goes all the way up to your nose. And she's like, look, who knew? I looked mad at work. Who knew? Who knew? Meanwhile, her eyes look like two like black balls from a pool set. Raccoon raccoon. Raccoon. Yeah. Going on those big old those big old with those smoky eyes. Those they're fire and paralyzed. People's lashes are just getting so big. They don't even look like claws anymore. They're like full on Swiffer sweepers at this point. I don't like those things that drop down on your car in the car wash. She she looked like the hamburger. Okay, it's like two black circles around the eyes. It's all the rage. So then the conversation moves to Liza. Liza needs to date because God knows. I mean, not dating in this town. It's like not having a job. I mean, she needs to work. Yeah, I need to get that money from somewhere. I just I haven't been dating lately because I've just been so paralyzed. I haven't moved in three days because I'm paralyzed. So you start talking about dating. Oh wait, where was this? They start talking about her dating life and how much they need it. What was I gonna say about Susan and the stupid makeover? Oh, they started showing Liza looking for houses. Liza looking for houses was one of my favorite things I've ever seen. And it only lasted what two minutes? Yeah, but just watching Liza go from huge horrible ugly house that looks just like her huge ugly horrible house to the next huge ugly horrible house and complaining about them being huge and ugly and horrible. Even though they all look just the same, she's like, I can't imagine moving close somewhere. There's a fireplace right there. Yeah, she's like, look at this bathroom. I feel like a small person in the big house this bathroom. That's like a hotel. This one's like a hotel. This one's like all nicely decorated and everything like a hotel. I can't have that. I can't have that. I can't have a hotel. It's nice. Oh, and her kid comes home and her kid has had some kind of makeover on her trip because now she's blonde and already has big long roots like her mother. Oh, 100 degrees. Isn't it sweet? Yeah, she came home looking like her mom. I forget what they've been talked about here. I thought I'd write it down. It was boring. They were like, she was like, so, so, so, daughter, like, what do you think about me in dating again and everything? You think I'll be okay? You think there's another guy? What do you think about the guys out there? And she's like, um, there's someone perfect for you out there. And she's like, okay, that's what I thought. I was a little paralyzed with the idea of I don't want to be out there. It's like, I know you're out there in your job and you're talking to all the different kinds of guys. So, you know, all the kinds of guys out there. So, just I want you to go around and ask your friends. Are there guys with gum drawers? Ask your friends. Ask everybody. I want to know this. Do you get paralyzed? Like I do. I get very paralyzed. I don't care if there's a fireplace as the front door. If I find a man with a gum drawer, that's it. I'm done. I'm married. That's it. Make sure the garage is extra low because my car is very low. Need to be able to fit in. The mom's still outside. The craft will drive away. Who can come to this car? It's a wall. This car's so low. I can't get out of it. I've seen weeds taller than this car. So wrong. They make a car that's a little higher. So wrong. The sport have a patent on a tall car that people can actually get into. What are people getting shorter now? I feel like I'm driving on a skateboard with a seat belt. So low. I'm like a poppy flower sitting here on the gravel waiting for someone to blow everything off of me. I'm so low. I'll tell you one thing. It's so low. I'm filling every bump in the road. And guess what? It's turning me on. I'm not telling anybody this until they've got food in the mouth and then I'm talking about how much vagina just came back to life because that was so low. All the spiders came running out of my vagina and they were looking hot. Not spider. They went on to book the school. Spiderman the musical playing in my vagina on the gravel. I just want to say I have like a drop of spit that is now on my laptop screen because of all this Long Island accent. I just have to say I don't even know what the fuck we're talking about anymore, honestly. Sometimes it's just like gravel and the podcast is paralyzed. Hope you're enjoying it, Chrissy Teigen. Hope you're enjoying it. It's all for you. All these voices. They're for you. I wanted to say something about that. All right, guys, I was getting from gum from my gum drawer. I wanted to say something about that. So, you know, we sent that tweet and we were like, Oh, no, Chrissy Teigen sent that tweet and was like, tell me a good podcast. And then we were like, tweet what crappins to her so people started attacking her with all these what crappins to eat. Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm still I'm still the clump. I was looking at the Twitter because someone had retweeted it again or something. And so I saw and then noticed that her original tweet said, Hey, you guys, I'm about to get on a long flight. So please suggest podcast to me, serial ask. And if you tweet me your shitty comedy podcasts, I'm going to strangle you. That was her entire tweet. And I was like, Oh, I think that was because if we're not shitty, ha ha. I think that people have been well, yeah, but I like if people aren't into it, they're probably just like, uh, I mean, she probably turned it on right when I was like, Chrissy Teigen, you think that was like literally a, um, I didn't when I read it. I was like, Oh, God, I hope she wasn't asking people to not tweet our together. And then we just ask people to tweet stuff. At this point, it's just a joke. I mean, like, who the fuck cares now? I mean, like, um, but it is funny if that was a that was a veiled reference to our podcast. That's hilarious. Love it. I hope it was comedy podcast. Yeah, I hope she really like secretly hates us and has and has heard me say rude stuff about her or whatever. Although we've actually said nothing rude about it. We've just been like, I did. I mean, I kind of did because I was, I just said that I don't trust when, um, like semi homely talented people marry supermodels a second. They get famous and you're like, yeah, but she actually seems cool. I mean, I don't know. Anyway, I just reread the tweet and I was like, Oh God, I hope she didn't mean us. But now I kind of hope she does mean us. And I'm also looking forward to completely terrorizing her when the new serial does come on. And we're talking about it on the bonus episodes. Cause you know, people are going to be tweeting that shit at her. I'm just hoping, well, maybe she'll be a premium supporter. No, never will happen. You know what we need to do? We need to get a bigger model, a bigger model to come on to the show and to listen and support it. And then Chrissy Teakin will cry, cry. She'll be like, that could have been me, but I was pretending spinning beats on this DJ thing I'm doing on TBS or whatever. Okay. Um, I can't listen to your podcast because it's dinner time. We are having dinner. We are having dinner. John legend requires manners. When he says, I'll give you all of me, he is talking about all of his dinner. We, I'm sorry that I can't come on your podcast tonight, but we're having a very special dinner to celebrate John's new song, Handwall. Please don't bother us. It'll traumatize Bethany. Okay. So, um, let's see here. Everyone wants Liza to date, daughter, backs, Mac shows up to work at the solar company. So Mac shows up and he's wearing, he's so he they've given him a shirt for this is John's company is a, I guess, a solar installation company. Now, that doesn't sound like a front. Tell me what does. I'm sorry, but anybody who's just come out of prison for like fraud and they open a solar company. I ain't buying it. Ramona loves it. She's like, Oh, I love it. I love a solar company. It reminds me of sunshine. But Mac shows, they give it, they've given him a t-shirt and he's actually cuts out the sleeves because he thinks they're like too floppy, which is out. It's outrageous to wear. That's your arms. Yeah. It's like, it's outrageous to wear a sleeveless thing to work. It's outrageous that you cut up the uniform that you were given. And it's outrageous that you care so much about the sleeves when you already look like a schlub. Yeah, I mean, he doesn't have arm, arm flaps like that. I do. Why we're hanging over the couch when I wrote that down. I was talking to myself. It's probably like, hey, Max, you're gonna put the sleeves on Insta. You can put the sleeves on Insta, Max. Okay, Max, wait, before you cut out the sleeves, let's let me get the camera. I want to put it on Insta. Get the two two, Max. Get the two two. Get the two two. It is gonna be great. You're gonna be cutting off the sleeves and getting ice cream at the same time. Oh, author's help. Hide an ice cream truck. Hide an ice cream truck. He might have a ring. He might have a new ring. Go to the truck. Put this on Snapchat, so it goes away after 10 seconds. And Jonathan's like, you come to work. Don't fuck a slub. Look at you. You look like a slub. Meanwhile, Jonathan's sitting there in a t-shirt as well. But I guess you still have the sleeves. So that made it less schlubby. I know. I love that Jonathan. King of the schlubs. He's like the president of the Danielo fan club is talking to me about someone looking like a schlub. Yeah. He's like, you look like a schlub. I can't wait to call your mother whore ladle at dinner. So not that that was his mother, but in general. Oh, by the way, I just do work. He's like, yeah, I'm a little late because I went to the gym. Was there a snack machine there? Because please stop. Yeah. Everyone wants Linda. Why do I keep saying everyone wants Linda to date? I've written that down 50 times. There's no Linda on this show. It's Liza. I think you jumped around the order because now my notes are going into the makeover part. The only note I really have from the makeover that we just talked about two minutes ago is that when they're trying on the plumper and Liza's like, oh, I love it. I love it. I'm taking it home. Oh, I am home. Ha ha ha. She always cracks yourself up with so many stupid jokes. I am home. Oh my God. Did you hear that joke I just made? I just said, I want to take this home. I am home. Did you hear that? Did you hear that? I'm going to call up Andy. Hey, Andy. Yeah. Hey, Andy. You know what I said? So I said earlier, I said, I love this plump. I'm taking it home, but I was home already. Oh my. Oh my. Oh, Liza. You're so funny. You're so funny. Liza. I know. I know. Let's call Gail. Hey, one of those techs bloops up on the screen. Yeah. Gail. I took the plump of home, but I already was home. I mean, get out of here. Gail replies. Yeah. You already got yourself out of here. Oh my God. The things I say, the things I say. Gail replies, bleep, hilarious, putting blazers on girls. Exo. And then Shannon responds, who's this? Who's this? Who's this? So this scene in the solar place while the sun is trying to prove terribly that he's changed, call somebody the wrong name. He's like, oh yeah, was this haircut in place today, getting my hair did, because I was, you know, starting work without sleeves. And I, the hairdresser guy was like, oh yeah, that Jonathan guy. What a wonderful guy. Oh, and he also mentioned your wonderful wife, Ian, or something. Yeah. The drug. The drug. She mixed up the drug and the wife. Oh, what are you doing? I got mixed up. You lie the dog with my son, Ian. This is solar. This is solar. Get one of these solar panels on your brain, getting a look and write, get some power in there. So then, then we had a scene of Gail and Cori having lunch. Oh, this is actually pretty boring. It was like, Gail looks like she's been snacking on the crypt keeper. I like everybody's talking about how amazing Gail looks. And yes, she does. They had like a whole segment of her like working out and stuff. And yes, I mean, her body is amazing because she works out 20 hours a day, you know, she's earned it for sure. She had the same face of her as her husband, though, which makes me really concerned about his narcissistic impulses. Oh, maybe that's why he left the nose. Oh, you're right. He's like, they're taking it. We're going to do a reverse rug on you. I'm reversing you. I'm taking you from Camille grammar into Danny DeVito instead of the other way around. We're doing this backwards. The old my only takeaway from Gail's scene with Cori. I mean, Cori's like, oh my God, what's his face has like, has a bunch of women's numbers. And Gail was just like, uh-huh, uh-huh. When can we have the yoga dessert? Yeah, the yoga dessert. And then Cori's like, oh, look at her. She's such a, it's like a party all day. Yoga dessert. Oh God, who would she? Good dessert. And then the waitress comes over like, Hey, all right, Tuts, what do you guys want? She's like, I'll have a yoga dessert. All right. What about you? I'll have this shrimp. Okay, that it. Yeah. All right, boy. Well, I thought this was actually a lot happened in this scene because basically Cori just told America that her husband's probably obviously cheating on her. I mean, look, we called it when I saw that guy's hairdo and his orange plastic sunglasses that matched his old, maybe orange shirt. Okay, no a man dressed like that. And who does his hair with a blow dryer every day? No man is doing that for you. Okay, when you're once you pass 40, that man is doing it for some ho. Yeah, that's it. I have not seen it work out otherwise yet. Yes, women are different. They take care of themselves for their man. So the man doesn't leave him for the doctor. Women are bravo, by the way. This isn't a general women thing. Yeah. Women are different men are not doing that for your wife. He does not care if you're sexually attracted to him. He does not care. He cares about a whore. Okay. Yeah. So Cori knows, and she's like, it's so weird because, you know, he's got all these women's numbers on his phone. And I mean, I don't know any man, they don't have husbands and friends. I mean, that's weird, right? And Gail's basically, Gail's look is like, oh my God, he's cheating. She's trying to find an ugly doctor now because it's only going to get harder once you're actually divorced. Exactly. And Cori's like, I think that he's very attracted to me. Wouldn't he? Well, I thought we had everything. I thought he'd, I thought he loves me past the fetish in the Alfredo, please. Why would he not be attracted to this? Please pass the meatballs. I love to eat. I love to eat. You would never cheat on me. I love to eat though. One thing that Sandy loves is when I come home from lunch and pick my teeth with a fingernail that I bit off. I mean, it's so wonderful. So why do you think Sandy's having sex with other women? Um, yeah. So Gail's basically, Gail has the face of your husband's cheating. Find another husband now before your divorce and you have the stain of breakup on you, you know? Yeah. And, uh, but Gail's words are, oh, well, you have a good marriage and you're working on it. So that's good yogurt. Delicious. Yo, good dessert. This is my meal for the next five days. Yeah. Um, so that's our tip from Watch It Crapins this week. If your husband blood drives his hair past four days, he's cheating. Yeah. Figure that shit out. Get a detective. Yeah. Have Quad hire somebody for you. Or he's been laying on a wire in the zoo. So then we had a scene, I may be out of order, but Corey. Oh, now we do the stylist. I'm sorry. So what are you saying? So then there was a scene where Corey goes on FaceTime with her daughter who's at UCLA for the summer. And it was again, one of these moments where Corey's like, so, well, we did this, you know, we were crazy. You know, we send our kid away for the summer as if like, she's like, this is just the way we do things in the North Shore. We send them away. We send them away for the summer. Like, yeah, the North Shore is the only place where kids ever go away for the summer. Everything on the North Shore. This is how it's done. Kids go to camp. Wow. So at the North Shore, this is what we do when the kids in 16, they start to drive. That's just how the note that's what we call the North Shore permit. Here's what the North Shore does for kindergarten is we give them Capri Suns. Totally different. Here's what we do between the ages of about five and 18. We teach our kids things in school. That's just the way the North Shore is, the North Shore education. You go to school and you got a kid and got and you stay through 18. So they sent a kid to LA and Corey is like, well, some kids send their kids away, but they don't send them across the entire country because when North Shore, I'm like, wow, you guys finally got a Southwest Airlines and Long Island or what? They do. There it is. There's actually one in Iceland. I know I used to have to fly it when I lived in New York and was young and even poorer, and my dad used to send me his vouchers for the Long Island. I used to have to take that fucking thing all the way to Iceland in the way. And then take the van, you take the shuttle. Oh, and then the shuttle. It's like the subway from fucking Brooklyn or Queens or wherever I was living. Take the thing to the subway, then the subway to the bus, then the bus to the shuttle, then the shuttle to the train, and then the train to the shuttle. I was like, oh my god. You're early. You call up your dad like, dad help me. That I'm paralyzed. Dad, there's so many transportation options. I'm paralyzed. That will never ever get lost. I hope that our listeners like it as much as we do. I'm paralyzed paralyzed. So they start talking, Sandy and Corey start talking about, start talking to the kid who is like Dola's a dish rag. You know, god bless her. Who cares? She didn't sign it for this shit. So the kids on FaceTime with her parents who are awful and everybody in LA is like, oh my god, your dad blood dries his hair cheating. And then she's like, I'm just hungry. And the dad's like, you can't spend $300 a day on food. Like if you want my daughter, I cheat on you right now. And Corey's like, yeah, listen to your father. And the kid's like, fucking kill me. Who spends $300 a day on food? Only a child of Corey. Wait, lifters? Yeah. I liked also how later on Sandy, they're talking about their finances and Sandy was in his office. And he still had all his like trading software going in the background. Like it's all like the stocks and the markets and everything. I was like, oh, Sandy, you were fired from that. Yeah. He's like, look, it's what I used to be behind me on a screen. Corey's like, oh, hi, Sandy. Oh, hi, hi person who now does what Sandy has to do, used to do. Oh, Sandy, electronics. Sandy, Sandy's like, no, no, this, this, these graphs, these charts, they have nothing to do with investments. It just has to do with your calories, honey. I'm tracking it. This is this is the calorie counter for the women in this household. Yeah, it's a bear market. So I'm probably going to go out and cheat with someone. I'll be back. At some point, I'm just going to put a McDonald's sign out front and instead of counting, I'm just going to put billions. And that's it. We're never going to count again. The market crash. The Dow 500 is purely about your calorie intake for breakfast. So anyway, yelled at, by the way, because my door is open and my seaward neighbor who yelled at me last week is still here. And I know he's walking past my door just to see I have a seaward. I have a seaward neighbor who lives downstairs. And any remote noise, she complains about she complains like right now I'm sitting in my office chair if I move it a little bit, you can't hear it at all because it's moving. She complains because it's like to her, it sounds like a stampede on on on her ceiling, which is the most bullshit thing. I like once every three weeks, I wake up at like five in the morning to go to the bathroom and the area where I step to go into the bathroom. She's complaining that there was a creaky floorboard and management came up here and started tearing up my my rug to look at it. And they were threatening to have to move all my furniture out of my my bedroom to replace the floorboard. And luckily it never happened because they've they realized because I have really good management and they are smart and they realized wait a second, which actually cost us a lot of money to fix a floorboard that this crazy woman downstairs is reacting to. And so she was she suggested to she suggested to management that they suggest to me, hey, why don't you can you just ask him maybe not to step on that part of the floor? Like I'm gonna put up like a traffic cone around my floor having a traffic paralyzed. So this morning I actually did have to wake up at like five in the morning to be and guess who stopped his way to the bathroom. Good for you. I had a neighbor like that. I lived in an old 1920s place on the second floor and she's like, listen, it's really noisy. My bedroom is right below yours because you know how they configure apartments to be the bedrooms on the upstairs or on the opposite side of the house is the living room or whatever. Well, that's how this place was. So her bedrooms were technically in the front of her apartment. So that shouldn't have been her bedroom anyway. It's like the dining room or the study or whatever. She's like, well, we did this because we had a baby. And so we had to move to this room. And I work online because, you know, at that time, that's when I started working for TV guys. I'm so I was like writing recaps at night, you know. So I have to be up. And I was just in a chair, but she's like, oh, I can hear it downstairs. And so I got a carpet. And then I went through all these hoops. One day she starts screaming at me in the alley outside of her window for walking up the stairs to my house too loudly. And she's screaming, she's like, don't you just ignore me, Ronnie, you better answer me. You better answer me right now. And I was like, fuck you, you stupid. And then I did use that word on a real person, the secret. I was like, fuck you, you stupid, see word, buy a house. And she's like, I can't afford one. And I said, well, I can't afford one for you. And that's the only way you're ever getting the quiet you need. You dumb bitch, leave me alone. I mean, this now I will be sexist. And I'll say, whenever they're these stories, it's always a woman. It's always my current one is not it's it's a bitchy bitchy queen who was my friend. Close enough. But the thing is that this, I mean, every time anyone tells a story about a neighbor who is super sensitive noise, it's always some baddie lady. And it's just crazy. I mean, it's like, you know, don't be in an apartment building if you can't deal with noise. It's going to be noise. It's one thing if I was like blasting my subwoofer, you know, blasting my music, having parties all the time. But if I'm like, if the complaint is that like about my footsteps or whatever, bitch, get over it. Yeah. And they'll never be satisfied. Because, you know, you know, you and I are actually as much as we are nasty to these people in Bravo, we're actually like, I think pretty nice people. And when people say like, Oh, can you keep it down? Our first instinct is to say, Oh my God, I'm so sorry. Yeah, let me do this. And you, you can give as many concessions to these people that you want. They're always an asshole or people are always miserable. They will always ask for more. This woman in the beginning, it was like, Hey, can you keep it down during during the work because I work from home and I can hear that it's hard for me to work. It's like, okay. And then it became like Saturday afternoon at two 30. Hey, can you keep it down? I'm trying to nap. And all of a sudden it's like, Oh, it's not about her working. Now it's about her napping. Now it's about this. Now it's about that. They're always going to take and take and take and take. Yeah, that's just how people like that are. Well, mine, mine is so dramatic. Like I know that he's like dramatic anyway, but mine is so dramatic that he won't speak to me. Like he he hissed at me last week during this thing and got so mad at me that he won't even speak to me. And he wrote me this really nasty text and all this. And today I saw him. It's like what a week later I guess. And I saw him today and passed by and he's like smiling and hi. And I'm like, no, you can you can move on. Okay, I don't need you. I don't need to move right. I didn't come here to make friends. I came here to win Top Chef. Yeah, sorry about that. But this is the this is the most we talk in real life too. So we have to have real life updates sometimes too. And basically the moral of the story is neighbors are C-words. Neighbors are C-words. And anyway, speaking of C-words, so back to the show, there was a scene of Amy getting her tooth looked at by Arthur. She's like, you know what, I love these good times that we have. You know, I just you know, it's sometimes you're so delicious. You're so wonderful and delicious. I can't you know, I have to always come back even when we have our bad times. He's like, yeah, let me look at your cavity. Yeah. So, yeah, it was basically got nothing seen. So then we the the big need of the I've turned this old, I've turned this old ring into fillings back. You're gonna get it on your one way or the other. She's like, oh, I got but we're so happy. When it's happy, it's happy. And when it's not happy, I'm pushed off the back of your motorcycle back. But it's okay. Love you. Arthur, promise me you'll take me to the Seven Seas, Donna, Northern Boulevard afterwards. I want to get a Monty Christopher. I love. I do like that Arthur's like fucked the girls. I don't care what they think because she's like, I need a new ring because the girls are all talking about it. He's like, I don't give a shit with your girlfriends. Think about a ring. Who cares? This is about us, not your girlfriends. She's like, but I can't author because they're bugging me about the ring. I'm like, actually, they're bugging you to divorce or to dump him and not be around him because he's abusive. Yeah, they don't they don't care about the ring. But when she does say that couples, when she says that, no one ever knows until they're walking in my untilfish. No one understands the road you're walking on until they're walking on shoes that Arthur's other wife used to wear. Max, you're getting the issues on Insta. You're getting the issues on Insta Max? That's that's absolutely true because if I had a boyfriend who came in and was like, listen, I want to marry you, but I demand a new ring because I don't like the other one you bought me anymore because we got in a fight that time. I'd be like, get the fuck out of here. Fuck you. Yeah. So, you know, Arthur doesn't. Yeah, they both and they're just one of those toxic couples. They're just toxic, whatever. So then Corey decides to have like a little dinner party. It's she and Sandy, they invite over Susan and John and then they invite over Liza. And then a guy to set Liza up with, I don't know what the guy's name is, but he had a tattoo on the back of his neck that was very classy just the way the North Shore is always classy. So they get there and every once I was to drink and Corey, I love Corey, she's like, Oh, I have a sick Dolce and Gabbana. Sick. So sick. Pass me another ice glass, shoot a peel. My Dolce and Gabbana. It's like what my vagina looks like. It's been waxed. It's so sick. So sick. I'm always confused about tattoos on the back of the neck on men because one thing I've learned from porn is that people with tattoos on the back of their body are generally bottoms because they want to give board tops things to read. Like I've never seen anybody else getting something on their neck. Like, who was that for? The person in mind behind you? Like, who are you trying to confess? This guy was way too old to have a tattoo on the back of his neck. He was like pushing 50, if not over 50. And he is like someone who looks like he worked in Wall Street or something like that. It's just it did not look right. It was that was that was pretty weird. But getting ready for this party was great too because Susan, they had a couple of good scenes. One with Susan trying to get Jonathan who's exhausted from getting a doorknob to work. She's like, Jonathan, here's the deal. We're going to dinner. I don't want you to get so drunk that you're calling people the c word. All right, Jonathan, I don't want it coming out of your mouth. Don't call anyone a slut. He's like, I could do whatever the fuck I want you dumb bitch. I'm an adult. She's like, Oh God, here we go. And she actually tells him, listen, I don't want people to think we're not polished. Yeah. I don't want them to think that we're like one of the new doorknobs to the veranda. Unpolished. And then we go to Corey's house who's having the party. And she's and by the way, why should she even be concerned about looking polished when they're sitting here dropping their ice shooters? Oh, no, I dropped an ice shot on my sick Dolce and Gabbana. It's sick, paralyzed paralyzed. I can't hold my shooter. I love whenever Corey talks to her made because I have a sneaking suspicion that Corey's made is one of those maids who pretends she doesn't know English just so she doesn't have to like listen to the white lady all day. And Corey Corey. All right. Listen here. Here's what you need for the store. Okay. And the maids dress really nice. Like she's invited to the party, which God bless her. She's gonna have to wear that dress bar and thing to do dishes in because Corey's never letting her outside. But Corey's like, all right, here's a list of things. And the maid's like, please things. And she's like, Oh God, we're with the calculator. She's we need. All right, look, we need the translator. All right, look, we need cranberry juice. And she's like, Orange? That maid is lying. You know that she does not think orange is cranberry. The fact that she would get orange out of cranberry, she obviously can understand it because if you don't understand English, you wouldn't know what the hell she's talking about. But the fact that she's orange is she's like orange. No, no cranberry. Oh, oh, great. But fruit. No, no. Oh, God. Oh, God. John, someone Sandy, I'll just go. I'll just go. Everyone. He has named after a hurricane. I can't deal paralyzed. I don't know why that reminds me of just reminds me of being a kid and having a cleaning and my mom is my mom was a terrorist to them, which was not funny. But her always thinking that she had this like paranoid deletion that the cleaning ladies were all lying to her. And I was like, listen, if they're lying and pretending that they don't know English, I don't blame them because you're awful. You're lucky they don't know English because you'd be dead by now. But I just always think of that when I see this lady because she so obviously understands and just doesn't want to clean up the dog piss again. Yeah, you know, I think it's sort of odd that she hired someone that she can't even communicate with. I don't know. So I think so then so anyway, they're all getting drunk. They're all being tacky. They're all sitting there. And then John is starting to get John is starting to get really drunk. And he first he pokes Corey's boobs, which I loved that the entire week. Bravo was like they show clip of him poking Corey's boobs and then she's like he poked Corey's boobs. Oh my god, John, why are you doing that? We're looking up polished. And then like he pokes your boobs and like nothing happens. Like no one even responds. Everyone's like, Oh, okay. Except for a lot with no is Andy. Andy or Liza, someone gave them some kind of look. Liza was giving him that look. And Liza's like, you know, stop trying to, you know, make this all about you guys because I have a date tonight. And I'm practically a virgin again. I'm like a virgin, you guys. Normally, I like to date guys who are a little bit more on my height, but you know, I'm open to anything. I'm paralyzed with choices. I finally understand why the Virgin Mary never smiles because it's not fun being a virgin. Sometimes she must have come home and been like, Jesus, where am I supposed to put my gum? You know, she's like hand me another one of those ice, those ice shock glasses. I hit the very slippery. Oh my god, there really is slippery. Oh my god, guys, look at this. It's slippery. It really is. Once again, she's like, she loves pointing out the obvious. Oh my god, guys, it really is slippery. Oh my god, guys, this dinner party is hilarious because we're actually having dinner and it's a party. This is hilarious. This is literally a dinner party. Oh my god, did you hear that? Andy? Hey, Andy, guess what? I'm at a dinner party, but it's really a dinner and a party. Can you believe it? It's hilarious. So, you know, I said, Susan, I said, guess what? This dinner? It's like a dinner party. And it was because it's a party in his dinner. And then it cussed to Andy. Oh my god, when she said it was a party in a dinner and a dinner party, we laughed. We laughed like sisters. I don't know what I'm going to do when I move out of that bed. I mean, laughter, pure laughter. I laughed for hours and hours. And then I told Amy, you gotta leave Arthur. You have to leave Arthur. I can't. I don't want to see you like this. And then I laughed some more. And then I texted Susan that she looks like an ugly person. And then she can she she can come over tomorrow for a makeover. And then we laughed some more. It was hilarious. Oh my god, this morning, I told Andy, God, you're so grouchy. It's like, you woke up on the wrong side of the bed. And then it was like, it was funny because she oh my god, she really wasn't the bed. She wasn't, she really was. She was the bed. It was really funny. And she was on. She was on the wrong side. It was usually my side. I'm like, how did we do this without being lesbians? I was on the left. She was on the right. Normally she's on the right. I was on the left. I was like, well, you really did. You really woke up on the wrong side of the bed for reals. What are we lesbians now? Because I'd rather have 35 penises in my ear than a vagina. Yeah. I don't want that in my face. I don't want that bus. And I'll tell you what I don't want. I don't want to my pus in my my boots. I don't want to put in my boots. That's like a fairy. It's like the fairy tale, because she said "bus in boots." So it's like a "bus in boots." It's hilarious. I can never be a lesbian because one of you actually has to have a job. I mean, who's going to have the job? You know? So they start talking about her date and her date comes and he's like, yeah, that short that short guy looks like he has a job. But who knows? And she goes, oh my date. I mean, no, normally I like, you know, less digitized kind of guys. But you know, it's like he's short, but I'm open to new things. I love that she like is comparing a short guy to, I don't know, like traveling Africa. It's like it's not a new thing. It's a short person. It'll be okay. Oh my God. So then she's saying, talking about John, John's getting more and more drunk because they're eating. And then she's like, yeah, I go way back with John. You know, you're like, you know, what's this with 13 or whatever? And they're like, oh, how is Liza? And you're like, oh, why is it? She was a slut, like every other girl. Oh, I don't like her. On her date. Oh, yeah, she was what? To flake all the other girls. And everybody's mortified. And then someone's like, oh, so anyway, Corey and Kayle, how's your business? And she's like, oh, my God, the China, you know, vaginal fillers. And he's like, oh, Jesus, the China's. They were talking. I'm not talking about a gym again. I cannot talk about your stupid gym. I don't care about gyms. If I ain't making money from it, I don't give a shit. You don't need to shut the fuck up. You put your idiot, you lose us. Can we change the subject, please? Can we talk about all those sluts over there on the other side of the table? Please. I don't want to hear about your nailed nail salon anymore. Meanwhile, Sandy's like, this place is the most exclusive nail salon in Manhattan. You have to go. And he's like, do we have to talk about this? Oh, my God. Sure. Everyone just shut the fuck up. Poor everyone was. Sorry, you guys. I tried to polish him before we came, but it didn't work. But he fixed the door. Oh, he's like, the rain in Spain is mainly I don't give a fuck. Oh, Sandy. So it ends with him screaming, shut the fuck up and Corey crying into her thing. And Sandy like blow drying his hair for his after date. Blow drying his hair piece. Yeah, blow dry in the piece. This show kills me. Next week, we come back. They're like, next time on secrets and what? Shut the fuck up. You're all a bunch of fatty needs. Hey, just stupid gym. I'm like, Oh, my God, it keeps going. Yeah, it's going and going and going. It's amazing. I haven't touched a real tips since I was in prison. What the fuck? Oh, God. Lord, they so stay classy secrets and wives Tuesday nights on Bravo. Really? It's the highlight of my life. I mean, all this. I mean, big. Oh, it's big brother could be on Tuesday. No, it's pretty Wednesday and Thursday. Yeah, but honestly. Oh, geez. Tuesday nights. Real house has a New York City, secrets and wives. It's perfection. Tuesday nights is where is that? Yeah. So thank you so much for listening. We'll do our little pluggies plug. So there you go. Find all our personal Instagram and Twitter and all that links on watch at crappins.com. Come to Facebook.com slash watch with crappins to talk to other listeners and join in on our live thread posts. Next issue.com slash what crappins. And also, of course, patreon.com slash watch with crappins for bonus episodes, ringtones, et cetera. And also do not forget. I one of us will put up a poll soon here about whether or not we have enough people to come to you takes is y'all and watch us in Austin in July. So let us know because we would love to meet you guys. And it's really fun doing a live show. Yeah, absolutely. So thank you, everybody. So thank you, Benjamin. Thank you so much. It was great talking to you. It was great talking to you. More great talking to you. Um, well, I invented Skype because they knew I liked talking to you. So they invented it just for me. Thank you, everybody. We'll see you next time. All right. Bye. And we'd like to thank our very important, special, gorgeous sponsor, Claudia Catalina. Thank you, darling. We love you. If you want to become a premium sponsor and have your name at the end of show, just hit patreon.com slash watch with crappins. Love and thanks, Claudia. Hugs. If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the internet. The folks behind the side show network have launched a new YouTube channel called wait for it. It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza Schleisinger, slicing, driving friends with it for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there. And I still have a hard time with the last name, Liza. Our very own Owen Benjamin. That's me. Takes you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes and much more. You don't have to wait any longer. Just go to youtube.com/waitfortcomedy. There's no need to wait for it anymore. Because it's here. And it's funny. And I love you. To the insurance company that's spurned me, our time together has come to an end. It's not me, it's you. We both know what I'm talking about. 15 minutes ago, I began courting Geico. It was just the easiest thing I've done since buttering my biscuit at breakfast. Not only have I saved hundreds of dollars on my car insurance, but also the future tiers you were sure to impose. My heart and my coverage now belong to Geico. Sincerely, not yours, Tara in telly ride. Geico, 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance. If you like Watch what Crap is, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at Wondery dot com slash survey. I'm Lindsey Graham host of Wondery show American scandal. We bring to life some of the biggest controversies in US history, presidential lies, environmental disasters, corporate fraud. 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