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When you listen to audio content, your mind is free to paint the scenes and feel the emotions of a great story. Audible's extensive catalog is sure to have titles that you'll enjoy, immerse yourself in captivating tales, learn from world-renowned experts, and discover new perspectives all while multitasking or relaxing. There's more to imagine when you listen, and one title that I've been listening to is my friend, Neil J. Young's coming out Republican, which talks about the history of gay Republicans. It's super fascinating and super interesting. As an Audible member, you choose one title a month to keep from their entire catalog. New members can try Audible free for 30 days. Visit audible.com/crapins or text Crapins to 500-500. That's audible.com/crapins or text Crapins to 500-500. ♪ Watch what Crap is ♪ ♪ Watch what Crap is ♪ ♪ Who cares what happens when there's so much that Crap is ♪ ♪ Crapins ♪ ♪ Crapins ♪ ♪ Crapins ♪ ♪ Crap Crap ♪ ♪ Crapins ♪ ♪ Watch what Crap is ♪ ♪ Who cares what happens when there's so much that Crap is ♪ ♪ Who cares what Crap is ♪ ♪ Who cares what happens when there's so much that Crap is ♪ Hey everyone, welcome to Watch what Crap is a podcast about all the Crap on Bravo that we just love to watch and talk about. How about that? I'm Ben Mandelker from bsideblog.com and the banter blender podcast and joining me as always is the sometimes caffeinated, perhaps caffeinated at this moment. I'm not sure. Ronnie Karam from trashtalktv.com. Hello, Ben. Hello, everybody. Thanks for having me. Oh, you are welcome. I can, by the way, say that I too am caffeinated today. I actually got a venti iced coffee and normally I get a grande but I felt like we have so many shows to talk about plus we did our bonus episode. For those of you who want to hear the Watch what Crapins bonus episode you can support us on patreon.com/watch what Crapins. Our supporters get access to a weekly bonus episode. This week we talked about Kim Richards and her rehab situation as well as her losing her house. We talked a little bit about Kathy Hilton but most importantly we talked at length about the Tonys. So if you watch the Tonys a few days ago or if you like Broadway or you just are bored, go listen to that. It was fun. Or you just like listening to a bitter old queen from the 50s bitch about the state of musicals. Seriously, sometimes I hear myself and I'm like, Jesus, just stop talking. Yeah. What happened to musicals? Yeah. We got into it about on the town. I mean, this was like, this is like we're discussing Lisa Rene versus Kim Richards, except we're talking about on the town. I still want like the modernized Iraq version of on the town holding out. Yeah, the cast of three kings is now doing on the town. So on the town after the war, Iraq Iraq, what a beautiful country. The sand is up and the terrorism's down. The terrorists hide and hold the ground Iraq Iraq. Well, hell of a town. Let's bomb it. Let's bomb it. Let's bomb it. Rebuild it. Into the golf we go. We go. Anyway, so. I wore a bomb when time went by. I pressed a button, but it didn't know. Well, but not urgent when I die. Weapons of mass destruction. Weapons. Anyway, this is so did I mention that we were caffeinated? So, by the way, also, if you support us aside from these wonderful bonus episodes that we were promoting, you also could get access to Google Hangouts. Our next one's gonna be next week. And ringtones, Ronnie's gonna make some today. Also, be sure to check out our Facebook page, Facebook.com forward slash Watch What Crap Inz. I think we did. We hit 4,000. If not, we are very, very close. I think so. I think we did, actually. Oh, my God. That is. Oh, no, we're, uh, we're at three, nine, nine, nine. No way. Maybe it'll change over the course of the podcast. And is there any social media? You know, you know, watch what Crap Inz.com. Find our social media there. I think that's it. Oh, do we have to do our boxy age? We have to do our boxy charm, not boxy. We'll stand more excited by it, Ben. You know what? I am. I'm just, you know what? I've got the caffeine. It comes and goes like that little musical interlude at the top of the show. It's like, it's like that took a lot out of me. But everyone, just listen to this and then we will get to our podcast. Boxy charm. Boxy charm. There's nothing like it and something in the mail from somebody. Boxy charm is a beauty subscription box that sends you full size products ranging from cosmetics, skincare, haircare, and more for only $20 to $1 a month plus free shopping with no long-term commitment. And you can cancel at any time, just like a canceled Broadway musical. Other companies send sample sizes, but boxy charm sends you full size products like Kelsey Grammer as Captain Hook from popular brands such as Tarte Cosmetics, NCLA, Oscar Blondie, and cargo cosmetic. I have no idea what any of those are, but I'm sure to those of you who wear cosmetics, it's really cool. Boxy charm promises a total value of $95 each month and also offers exclusive member-only offers and giveaways from the best brands and subscribers can receive loyalty points to redeem extra goodies and for their box. Perfect for treating yourself, the wife, your girlfriend, your mom, your friends. If you're not sold, just search boxy charm on YouTube and to access thousands of unboxing videos. Go enjoy it. Hey, guess what? It's time for the podcast. We did it. We promoted everything. Time for the podcast, a boxy charm. Boxy charm. Don't get your cash on, darling. Darling, if you have to go to Broadway, if you go see on the town, you better get your boxy charm box and get your cosmetics, you get a full face of makeup. So when you go out on the town, you look like you're nice. I love boxy charm so much. It's it's like my daughter. You know, I always say that I wish I could get a box of charming makeup. And guess what? The whole they made a company based on based on me. It's called boxy charm. I like makeup. So boxy charm created a company. Oh, Lydia, come back. Real Housewives of Melbourne. I still miss you. Well, Real House is a Melbourne is gone. But guess what? We have it's it's summer by Bravo. And we have a lot of stuff to talk about. We have real housewives of Orange County to talk about today. We have married to medicine. We have blood sweat and heels. We have candies wedding. But by the way, before we get to all that, Ronnie had a real housewives moment last week because he went and saw Leah block and our book. Yeah, Leah invited us to her book signing thing last week because she came out with her new book. And it's actually a big book. Like it's a real book. I mean, no offense, Leah. I was just thinking, you know, it's a housewives book. So it would be like a pamphlet. It's like an actual real big book. And it wasn't a real book store telling. I mean, that's class, right? It's a novel. It wasn't in like the, you know, Taylor Swift section of fucking Walmart or whatever where they keep the books at like Target, you know, and they're like, look, it's Taylor Swift and also literature. Well, it's in here. They're making fart noises with the signs they make. Isn't the book, it's an actual novel. It's not like a memoir of Leah's life. Yeah, it's a novel loose base or basically, what am I trying to say, loosely on Leah's life getting that gala together. It's a Leah block gala. So I walked around, of course, the entire time just enforcing people. Because I was a pocket drinking, like let's be honest. They're like, with my friend Kim, who's a really funny recap on Trash Talk TV. She does our Shaw's recap, so funny. And we ended up hanging out with Heather, Heather McDonald, a little bit was there. So I got to meet her in real life. Funny bitch. That's fun. Yeah, she's funny. And then Amy Phillips, whose whole hair looks like an actual real-life friend. Yes. She was super fun. And she agreed to come co-host with me when Ben's out of town soon. Yes, I'm going to be gone for a week. Yeah. And we just had a great time. It was filled. I mean, it was as Nini would call it. It was a Twitter party because that was like, you know, anybody could go. So it's not like it was like some private event that we got invited to. It was like, you know, us and then like a gaggle of queens who love Leah and stuff. But there were a lot of people there. It was super fun. Just being hump was hilarious because that restaurant, I mean, you, it's not big. Pump is a very small place and you're going to bump your head on a goddamn piece of applause or hanging. I mean, some of these light things she had hanging, I was like, did you, did you bring these from Groot? Like these look like set pieces. Did you bring these from Greece? Where are these things from? They're huge. What's the point of having a hot bartender? If you can't see him, you know, most importantly, did you get to see Chef Petty? No, I did not get to see Chef Fannie. Oh, so sad. Oh, no. Did you order between this hot, real wind chop to her? Oh, no. But I did get to see Ken. He's basically a flesh, uh, flesh Roomba at this point. He's just like this. I can't believe he was even alive. Like he spoke and I was like, he's alive. He looks like he's on a motorized parade float kind of thing made out of skin. And he just kind of walks his shuffles really slowly through the restaurant, literally with his eyes closed. Like he was taking an app while he was walking. I think he was like looking for the, the swan or some shit that guy was sleeping. And then a bunch of tourists keep coming up and attacking him. And he does like this really kind of hateful smile because you can tell he hates them and then gets his picture taken and then shuffles onto the next guy. It's kind of sad. I'll tell you what, clean carpet. I mean, that kid is a good Roomba. So there is him and Leah was super funny and nice. You know, Leah. Hi. Hi, Leah. How are you? She's like, good. How's it going? Do you know how many times I've retweeted your stuff? I'm like, okay. Okay. What do you need? Do you need me to unpack your trunk? Like what? What is it? Give me a list. Give me a to-do list. But she's super funny. She's standing around every picture she took. She had to repose because she was wearing her gigantic Leah Black jewelry or whatever it's called. I guess it's called Black jewelry, but I'm giant. It's very pretty and huge. And she's wearing this ring that's like a full-length mirror on a ring. It's like a big long thin mirror on a ring that she can like, I guess, check her teeth with. So she's wearing all of her own jewelry, holding up her big book, and then holding up her big old diamond purse. You know how she makes those? Oh, yeah. One of like everything that Leah sells, you know? Yeah. I mean, one of my favorite quotes of hers from the last season of Miami was when she was like, I don't care if they're fighting as long as they're hitting each other with my bags. Whatever she said. Tear it down. Oh, super fun. I saw her late in Gretchen and I congratulated Slade on his acting career because he did something. And last time I met him, he was telling me about becoming an actor and stuff. And so I was like, hey, since last time we spoke, you actually became an actor. And he goes, um, actually, I've been an actor for over 20 years. Oh, please. Please. Please. That's like calling people who work at Subway. Subway, sandwich artists are not actually like, like, on the same level as Mango. Okay. And Gretchen was like, this place looks great. You guys just need an iron chicken and maybe a ceramic chef to hold some cookies. However, however, I can go to Stagmart right now and get you one. So it was fun. It was a fun crazy night, mostly because we got drunk and then went to the Abbey, which I don't care what anybody says. It's still fun. I know I haven't been with great people there. I haven't been to the Abbey in forever. I have to go. Well, gay pride's come up this weekend, but I think I think I don't vote at Abbey. I'm gay pride. Good lord. I know. I know. What am I talking about? I'm like, I'm talking like an out of towner here. Well, maybe I'll just go to pump. That's what I'm going to do. I'm going to go to pump and try to find Jeff Benny. Well, that was a super fun time. So thanks, Leah, for having me. And red carpet white lies is the name of her book, I think, right? Yeah, red carpet lies. I was going to read white lights today as Leah, but I figure we can hold that when we don't have 18 shows to discuss. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. So why don't we get into, we have to, why don't we just get into the big event of the week, which is the return of Orange County, which made me so happy. I actually didn't even realize how much I missed this show until it came on, and they had the opening. And honestly, I love Shannon's new opening. When life gives young lemons, put nine in a ball. What does that mean? Because I think that she had a thing last year where she was talking about Feng Shui, Feng Shui, and she's like, there have to be nine lemons in this bowl. David, David. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Life gives you lemons. Just give some to David's mistress because she likes lemons. Right, David, David, David, David, David, you always said it'd be her opening line. David, David, David, David, David, do you love me? Do you love me? David, you love me? Oh, I'm trying to let go of all this resentment I have for you, Having a hard time trying to just, you know, love you for who you are. That's our opening line. It's like doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo It's like David I just I'm trying to like go of all this was that David David. Are we on David? It's like Shannon even doctor. He's thumb up. My butt can't make the hurt go away from David David David No, it's just like dude dude dude dude dude dude dude. There's just Shannon next to switch David the chandelier I think the chandelier is not working David David. I just got the next person Every week is just like catching Shannon off guard where she's like not even aware David David have we backed up and David I need to like my I need to like my abundance candles David David David Tamara's boldness comes to the cost and I'm willing to pay really because you've been whining about how everybody's bullying you for years What are you willing to pay exactly for your boldness? It's called Cuntiness and you never pay back anything. Okay miss board and gang Christian I cannot wait until Tamara decides to become born again because you know that's coming the season, right? Yes, by the way, um, you just drop the C word again. I was at a it's funny Dammit, what's wrong with me? I'm not even thinking of it I was at a I was at a great party. So I think about I was at a party this weekend and it was funny Though these two gays there and one of them was like oh my god like I'm sorry I just get so cunty in these situations and this girl next me was like Excuse me. He's like, yeah, I get so cunty. I'm like, oh my god. Give me this guy doesn't realize he's completely offended this girl She's like, oh, wow, that's just like that's great, and he's like, yeah, I know I'm just I'm just such a cunt I was like, please stop saying it over and over again. It's I think you can call yourself or other guys a cunt, right? You just a woman a cunt I mean, how's wives are conned so you can call them that but I think it's I think it's context I think it's context appropriate. No, I think I think that some cases I think you have to sort of get that social cue from a woman that it's okay before you start saying it No, I'm not scolding I'm just saying how I was in a situation where the see where it was getting dropped and someone clearly I'm a feminist All right, I'm a feminist. I will not hold the door open for you, and I'll call you a cunt if you don't hold it open for me No, I'm just I think that's a terrible word in real life But for some reason when we're recording this thing it just falls out especially when Tamara Barnie. Let's talk about Tamara Barney I was actually shocked that we didn't see anything from cut fitness this week Speaking of people being have you seen their sex tape that's on YouTube was it was like having sex on your own floors cameras like I'm so sick of people not feeling sorry for me to know how hard it is getting banged on an uneven flower And then afterwards I reached for a towel and there were none on the shelves Where is bullying me? Yeah, she made a sex tape with Eddie, but it wasn't a real sex tape It was an ad for a cunt fitness, and it was it starts in the dark, and you just hear oh, yeah do it Yeah, oh my god. It feels so good and he's like yeah, you like it. Yeah, do it harder Yeah, you can keep doing it. She's like oh yeah, and it kept doing it Oh my god do it just like that, and then the lights come on, and he's just helping her do Like sit-ups or whatever Yeah No boner. I don't know how many people they got a cunt fitness for that But just had to mention it because finally OC is back. I know it's not no news. Yeah I know it's new news. I like it I liked it. I honestly I liked it, and I liked everything about it except for the visuals, so Well so anyways, so we have the opening credits, and then it opens up on Heather oh, and then Vicki I'm the OG everyone else is a cop I'm the OG of the OC everyone else is a copy I'm like you know you have all of Gretchen's body parts and Kathy Hilton's Me figure right like who are you talking about copying I know she's like the she's like the lady version of Chappie You know it's like someone just put some some just put some skin on Chappie at this point It's like you ever see that movie X Mac in the X Mac you know that's what that's what Vicki is She's like she's like the first version of the X Mac in a robot. She's like oh hello there I'm your new robot I'll walk around your mansion in the middle of nowhere mr. Mr. Millionaire and like no we got to revamp this robot Let's give someone smaller and sexier. She's like okay Okay, well, you know what you can't turn me off. You know I have artificial intelligence Stupid just stupid Gretchen. You're stupid Stupid enough Gretchen you're stupid. That's the okay. Yeah, so in true tradition. I took 20 pages of notes So what do you want to know about okay? I'm very I took it to so let's okay So my first note was the way it opened up with Heather so Heather now in this are you opening with Heather? I know well she's obviously trying to change her image cuz she's trying to be like hilarious and cool and just down with Whatever and she's cracking all these pretending kids. She's like she goes she starts up being like you know what? I'm totally fine with this rental. It's Terry. I'm like a bullshit. You were not totally fine with this rental You were hating it you're like there's not a room for me if I were to theoretically grow five times my size There's not a room in me in this house, you know, she has stupid Heather She's like, oh, I'm totally down with the poor people, you know, I named my daughter Cosette who was very poor in the musical They miss Rob, but I might be in one day on TV land. I'm gonna be in the TV land version Yeah, she's like all like trying to like crack jokes like just another just another morning for me here in the in the house And it's perfectly sized house. Oh, it's like, you know what Terry's working harder than ever like oh my god What's going on? This is a crazy time. Okay, it's fine kids going off to work. Hey, hey, I'm not an octopus. Hey, hey tips in the job Terry Terry made, you know, Terry made a lot of promises to me in the past And then it's Terry like I'm gonna work less if we sell this house and blah blah blah and she's like and it's all on my shoulders It is really hard work. Okay. I know boo-hoo me that Seriously, it's a lot of work and then we go to the house You know why it's a lot of work because you can't figure where to put the Claire's boutique in that ugly fucking mall You're building lady. What is that? Why do the why do you need that much space? I mean, it's like it's like there's a barman. This is like Versailles here I mean, this is the new this she's the new new Queen of Versailles. It is out of control I mean she's like a Broadway shoes in there. I mean I can understand okay. She wants to put in a salon Okay, fine. I get that but I mean, you know 14 bathrooms. What what's happening here? Is there gonna be a Santa Claus convention? This is just out of like you don't need that many toilets. She's like there's gonna be a lot of urine I'm like, uh, no, it's gonna be a love the big water bill unnecessarily. Thanks for causing the drone Yeah, no kidding enjoy those fucking water Producing bullshit appliances had our world dying over here and she's like well, you know I had to pay a seven I had to get a $7,000 sink and the guys like well, you know, I tried to fight with you on that She's like yeah But I mean I took it out of a toilet didn't I and you know that the maid is like this huge house And the maids room like has a hole in the ground to shit in, you know, yeah, exactly She's like she's like, okay, you know what do I really need a $20,000 countertop? Yes, I do ha ha ha ha I'm like She thinks she's like being like very relatable and funny like just from bracing her access Which I actually don't even mind that like she's wealthy. I just just I think it just hit her I just you know Heather's not a very nice girl and seeing her in the house that size I don't know it just doesn't seem right. It feels like she's just saying look I Don't have a prenup So fuck you because nothing says I don't have a prenup like that house I mean Jesus Christ any other husband would be like bye bitch. I'm moving into a studio. Yeah out of here I don't understand. I do not understand me. Is there gonna be like a special wing for the onion rings? There's just I don't understand what all that space is gonna be used for mm-hmm Her giant closet 7,000 think and you still have to see the neighbors What's the point you look out the window? She's like look you can see the neighbor's house like no matter you can live in a mansion here And you're still a foot away from the next neighbor's window. You know what what is that? What is that about this place? Yeah, and by the way congratulations like you're you're still like What next order Jim Edmonds or whatever whatever his name Jim Edmonds? Yeah, and like he obviously is like a piece of shit too So it's like you go you built like a giant McMansion in shitsville. I mean I know there's a beautiful I know I know there's a beautiful ocean view and I know that's a very wealthy community But like just look look at look at your surroundings. Okay. Just look look what you it's like Oh congratulations you built a really giant house in the middle of the land of Tamara Barney's. Okay. Congratulations. Yeah Congratulations rooting for a tsunami Yeah So then we then we moved on to Shannon who actually has a lovely mansion And I Guess the big news here is that she is now. He's free David David. I can't name it. I'm used to free David Yeah, she's having and Vicki's like oh god. That sounds like a dream She's having lunch with Vicki and Vicki's like oh my god. You're your brace that snagged my Chanel cool I'm like oh geez Vicki cuz you know She's gonna sell that shit later on eBay smell like armpits Do you remember those ebay reviews of Vicki trying to resell all the clothes that she wears on the house wise? And people leave reviews and they're like they're like well It it was delivered very quickly, but there was a rip in the in the elbow and it smelled like body odor Vicki come on these jacket worn only once to Oklahoma when I got stuck in a tornado when I was eating beef testicles Okay, thank you We've not bought not cow testicles And we also got a very classic scene with Vicki Vicki's first scene So I was glad they added another classic in there Which is the waiter scene of Bravo where they make us sit there and watch people orders hit and the waiter Try not to run away and quit or hide or whatever Yeah, she's like well what would you have you know Maybe that be if and Shannon's like beef kale scalp or whatever David you want to split a salad Vicki That's what David would like David like her. Oh, but you get a dry right dry salad who eats dry salad? I love dry things. I like I like dry salad reminds me of my relationship with David. It's very dry David David Why can't we be more moist? I need more I need more dressing on my love salad Our salad might need a little blue cheese, but at the end of the day he's got to earn that You know what like I always say that we're like oil and vinegar And we need to be shaken up to be together and daily we're just sort of separated David David If David starts behaving himself, we'll be having a dry salad with croutons And until then it's dry salad until David learns because I love him I love my family and I'm gonna keep it together and this salad's gonna help us David if David wants to prove his love to me then he will put a hard boiled egg in our love salad But until then it'll just be leaves leafy greens I'm used free, but will you please bring a bread basket so I can sit here and be tempted like David is every day of our marriage Oh, David. David. I want to be treated like a piece of fresh romaine But David just treats me like old across the iceberg I'm basically a wedge at this point. I'm a wedge David David David don't you think I look like reticchio today? David All blue cheese, you know, that's what that's that's why it fell in love with brooks I mean, that's what he smells like I'm just like smother me in your blue cheese and tell if we got his teeth fixed, you know sad side effects Oh, well, you know what I love about brooks is that he's sort of like, you know, Caesar dressing with his anchovy I think I'm going to Alexa floor, I have four, I have four stating brook I went into like peta floor like Alexa. Alexa was oh, well, you know Peter. Oh, well, you know brooks So, um, let's see here Vicki starts talking about brooks who nobody cares about and channa's trying to pretend that it's a good thing She's like that's great. Things are working out with you in brook. I mean really no really great. It's right. It's great It just keeps talking. Well, you know, uh, Brianna, you know, she's not happy But I got to do what I want, right? And then they show clips of Brianna and And channa's just like uh-huh uh-huh and then that leaves Vicki open for Oh, you know what it's like to have someone that loves you and it's devoted for you Isn't it great to have someone that loves you like trying to get shaman to blower wad in the first scene And channa's like dr. Islam will be up my ass when I talk about this All right, I'm not wasting this over a dry salad with you I believe his name is dr. Moon Dr. Oh, is it dr. Moon? Sorry. How racist of me dr. Yee David random vision name. David. How do you not even know the name of my doctor? How do you not even know that? David if you love me, you would know his name David David dr. Moon says I need to have nine lemons in this bowl at all times. David I love that Brianna is still the expert on who's picking good men and who's not picking good men You know, it's like just because your man stands up for couches. Yeah Doesn't she's like he's like mom. He's like mom, you know, I like I can't stand by Brooks Like you know what you know, he's just bad for you. You know, he puts his feet up on couches And you know, I'm not even allowed to do that. That's what a good man does. He keeps your feet off a couch At our vowel renewal, um ryan was telling me that if I ever put my feet on the couch again He was gonna cut him off, but he'd still stay with me. I mean, doesn't that sweet David said he'd buy me a love seat, but he got me a sofa I guess that's why we're a loveless marriage David Um So then we get to What are we doing a tamara tamara? Oh the like The uh, you know, it's it's not a season of the oc if tamara isn't doing some shit to her boobs So she had big boobs. She got the big boobs out. She got smaller boobs. She got the smaller boobs out And now guess what tamara wants boobs back Yeah, and it's like her own feminism because first she got giant boobs because her abusive husband made her get giant boobs And then she got her boobs taken away because she was standing up for herself and doing what she wanted And now she's getting him for eddy who's still in love with her. So it's totally different Like what? And then and then and so she uses this time as she talks about getting her new boobs to Literally say I was ridiculed for being honest. I'm like, oh, yeah, you're ridiculed for being an awful human being Revisionist history. You got to love tamara. Everybody was so mean to me last year I was ridiculed for honesty. So now i'm just gonna do what everybody wants and be happy Like you're ridiculed for being a gossip not for being honest Last year, you know last last time I was here getting my tits out All my friends were here and now nobody's here and it's lonely getting your tits taken out alone Like the really tamara like that and then she's trying to cry with her fake eyelashes I knew face and full face of and then and the flashback to when she got her tits out She was it was just like the only person was there was like Gretchen. She's like, hey However, you have less tits now I was like wow like all those things. I got you a painting that says parrots in five different languages I got you a martini glass that says sexy lady It has a charm on it and a feather glued him Um stupid tamara You know and how many times it's like the girl who cried boob job Like how many times are people supposed to show up for your fucking tit jobs lady? My god at this point she should just put in a bike tire and just inflate it and deflate it as she wishes Um at this point you're on the town. I'm sick Of hearing it. Okay stop reviving it every god damn year Tamara tamara the boobs are up and the boobs are down She is it does make the whole idea of new boobs is making her more self-confident though Because she had eddy taking pictures of her and she didn't even have him like put that camera up in the ceiling, you know Yeah She didn't get like a self spacey self a space selfie I know also by the way, I like how the takeaway from all this is you know since she was ridiculed for being honest She goes so now i'm gonna think before I speak I was like, oh congratulations for learning something that you should have learned when you were eight years old. Congratulations. Oh Now i'm gonna think before I speak i'm thinking about bigger boobs And that's how i'm going to be thinking about smaller babies again I think she's secretly getting those boobs to stretch out her boobs skin enough So she can like farm it and use it on her face in a couple months because she's got to be running out of shit to pull back She is i'm sorry. I mean chin is about to be under her eye. I thought her chin was my booger I actually think she looks great for her age. Um, but I think actually Well, I think she's like 46 or 47 or something like that And I think uh, it's starting to show for the first time truly it's starting to show Um, but she still looks great. I think but I mean She is just I mean her maturity wise. I mean she's definitely She's definitely down. She's gonna think before she speaks. You know what she's gonna think about she can say Oh, I wonder how nasty this will be before I say it and then she'll say it That's what she's gonna think about Oh team. Okay, so moving on she's friends with, um, ryan's wife or fiancee now or whatever So now when we go back to heather And so heather does some nice humble brag She goes, you know, most people know jimmy admins as a superstar who in the world series and one of the best baseball players of all Time but test he's just a friend like shut the fuck up just shut up You know, I mean to us he's like a best friend but to him I'm just some person on tv land that he turned off when she came on screen But I mean still terry likes him. So we're psyched we're friends totally friends It's funny because to us, you know to most people he's just like a god amongst men to us He's just like in our peer group and it's funny because he's always saying to me like to all of america I'm the woman who saved malibu country, but to him. I'm just his friend. You know, I like it To some people oprah's, you know, just some lady on periscope right now But to me she's someone who won't go to lunch with me. So, you know, it's like it's hard being famous Yeah, it's just hard like hanging with jimmy admins, you know so um That was really annoying, but then we got to um then we got to sort of start meeting megan The new housewife who is jim's wife she made an appearance last uh Last last season during the ill-fated uh ground-breaking ceremony in the new house David you were grinding shots for that slut. Not for me. Thanks a lot. David. David. Why do your shots have yeast in them? You know, I don't drink yeast. Oh, are those shots for someone else? David. David, are you gonna fare with me? Now I'm gonna be now now this house is gonna be built on an indian burial ground and the burial ground of my heart. David David would you like a shot of my tears because that's what i'm shutting I'll get you off more than tequila doesn't it David? Doesn't it David? Talking to my room Uh, I wish I wish I could say it would be a strong drink, but there's not because I am so very weak David David But I try to be strong for the family. It's not an option. Divorce is not an option. David. Is it an option? It's not an option Divorce is not an option because my family was the one with the money. What do I do David? Uh Heather Heather says um I mean, I know it's like weird being friends with the second wife and the third wife, but I mean that's Orange County I'm like no, it would only be tacky if you were friends with the first wife and the second and third The second and third don't get the same respect the first one did the first wife wouldn't let that shit stand I'll tell you that right now, bitch. Yeah, exactly And uh, if you think you're friends with these women think again because my guarantee in nine months you guys will be hitting each other And this newbie girl is obviously a friend of Heathers. She's just like her She's some uptight overly snotty for shit. She didn't work for bitch Yeah, the first thing she's talking about she's like 30 and the first thing she talks about is um I want to ask Terri about Botox because I saw a wrinkle on my forehead like right here in between my eyes Heather's like just listen Terri'll do whatever you want but do not request the durable look because that's mine And he told me he would never get that to anybody else If you come back you're looking like carolina's mother and the nightmare sequences of that Or carolina's mother and the nightmare sequences of that film. I'm gonna be pissed Well, I like how Megan then's talking about her relationship with jim edman's she goes I always said I would never marry a man with kids or a guy who was older than me or marion athlete Which by the way, I think it's hilarious that marion athlete is even like something like oh You know me. I'll just never marry a professional ballplayer It's like as if you can just go out and do that easily But I love how she says all the stuff and then she goes But you know then jim edman's asked me. I don't date like don't act like you would never marry a man with kids or Someone who's older than you you saw that bank account like let's let's be honest here And more specifically someone 11 years or more older than me whatever that means Yeah, like not just a decade I don't want to hit our our decade birthdays together because then he'll be getting more attention than me because you know It'll like he'll be hitting 40 when I'm hitting 30 and I don't want to be upstaged on my birth Like what were you coming over at the 11 years dumbest thing I've ever heard? I know I know I already hate this girl I just think it's funny When someone rattles off their rules like that and then someone with a lot of money on fame comes around It's like how how quickly those rules go out the window Yeah It's not because of his charming personality. That's for sure Yeah, she's telling uh Heather that she wants kids, but he's had a vasectomy So they're gonna have to go in vitro and I'm like oh good because we need your genes crawling around and Heather's like oh, yeah well, you know We we did that because uh We had to go in vitro too, and we ended up getting three embryos, but we only used one So we've still got two in the freezer and shockingly enough. I have the most in common with those kids. It's not weird I imagine those kids are like uh I like those uh dinosaur embryos that uh new men left in the mud in the first Jurassic park Like they're hidden somewhere and they're gonna come emerging out like after after like the duperos are firebomb Okay, we got rid of them They're gonna be injecting that shit in a Heather's face within a year. I know although her kids are actually I think very cute I know the nanny's doing a great job with those kids kids are great. I know I actually I love Terry Even though he can be asked. I love Terry. I love the kids. I just think that Heather needs an attitude adjustment Heather needs eyes that'll close Did I lose you drive did I lose you with my shocking statement that I think I was actually I was staring outside because my landlady's is watering the garden and it's about to rain I don't know. I just feel like I don't know. I don't know when I became water police I still sometimes pee with the water on but I I'm getting kind of like that Like when I see a broken sprinkler. I'm like, you know that we have nothing to drink but cancer left, right You know, it's like all chemical cancer water. Stop it. Yeah, so anyway, that was seats Speaking of cancer speaking of cancer You know what's next. Are you still watching the voice? Are you still watching your landlady? Yes, because now I'm like did she hear me? Oh my god, you know I've been watching old lady watering flowers this time too, and I have not taken my attention away from the podcast while watching her Um when Vicki is getting brooks ready and brooks storyline is that he has almost cancer because that's the new bravo thing, right? Well, he has real cancer except that nobody has really seen any kind of diagnosis as we find out He's been doing he's been doing chemo, but still has his hair Yeah, he's like vick. I want to tell you this much I've eaten a lot of red M&M's vick and it's it's official stage three. She's like, oh my god Oh jeez And so she's trying to cure his cancer by not letting him eat white bread Oh, you know cancer loves white bread brooks Well, that explains a lot because that's like the whitest of bread that's ever walked the earth brooks Yeah, this is a red Violets are blue. I don't know rhyme with blue, but I sure love your hair Vicki. She's like all brooks So romantic brooks Oh god, I don't know. I mean, I mean who am I to say that he doesn't have cancer uh, but he I kind of agree with brianne. I mean he he looks Exactly the same. I mean of course if you saw daisy on bloods when heels you would think that she didn't have cancer But the difference is that on bloods no, she looks exhausted Talking about just this exhausted and like struggling to get upstairs and wearing wigs No, no because of that. What time we going to on delay. I was gonna say that was the only his behavior I mean her behavior definitely she looks like she's suffering But like she's not like she doesn't look skinnier or anything like that But um, yeah, it's weird that he still has all his hair And he's he's like, well, you know, it's just one of the saw one of the saw it affects his hair loss But it doesn't happen to everyone. He's like, but I do have like five days of vomiting Well, I'm like, well, thank god. It didn't seem to affect your weight at all, you know throwing up for five-day straight But you're still pretty sturdy as a man It's cold to not believe that he has cancer, but I don't believe it I know me too because he got like famous cancer. He can't just get cancer. He has to have hodgkins Yeah, you know, it's like just get regular cancer. Okay, stop name dropping He's like, uh, I got the bad cancer and uh, I get chemo once a month and uh for my treatment They give him something called syrupa vipicac and what happens is that I vomit for five days That's what happens when you take your cancer medication your ipicac cancer medication So I vomit afterwards. So therefore I then have cancer Think he's like don't forget to pack the carrots because we're gonna need those in Mexico's, you know They don't have that non-lays. I mean they're drowning vinegar and who needs that? He's like, I gotta take It's like Oh, nevermind I mean Vicki has her whole oh, you know, I lived alone for a while because Brianna left me And then you know, everyone's left me and I don't want to grow old alone. It's stupid It's stupid being alone, you know eating alone watching tv alone. It's it's dumb. I hate it I hate it, you know, I'm glad I bought brooks those teeth because we're gonna take up identity cancer We're not gonna swallow though because I don't want to get cancer I mean, that's horrible, right? Especially the kind you don't lose weight. I mean, what's the point of cancer, right? If I didn't have brooks, who would I look at the caliente sign with? I can't do Vicki for some reason. I can't either. I just do random things with it My accents are so fu- after Melrose I'm not Melrose, Melburn. After Melburn, my accents are so fucked up I can't even do Lisa Vanderpump during Chef Penney more. I'm like, I'm like, Chef Penney Chef Penney, bring out the tuna tartar. I'm like, what is wrong with me? I can't even do a mid-west roll Chef Penney, I'm freaking out bitches. Bring me a plate of freaking out bitch, please with the side of torture bitch Bring me out some, bring me out some salmon tartar Bring me out some salmon mousse, otherwise I'm going to freak out Get me some poppy seed dressing on this right now. I'm gonna freak out Oh, petafluor I just think it's funny that they're going to Mexico with cancer You know, cancer is not going to stop us. You know, Andalea still has free chips after six And you know, you know, as long as I can get my x-lax That's also important for my cancer medication. It gives me diarrhea Every time I get that x-lax treatment, I get nothing but diarrhea But it just shows the cancer treatments working But poor Brooks, if he does have cancer, Brooks, I'm so sorry, not buying it So so far we've talked about firebombing the DeBros and mocked Brooks for having cancer Yeah, we're doing great. Doing great. These shows are killing us. That's what's doing it You know, I was a nice person when I started this just kidding. I was way worse. Sorry, sorry people Actually, I'm nicer as a person now because I get it all out on this show in real life I'm like, can I help you across the street old lady before I'd be like, uh, old people just die Put him down and now I'm okay because I get to come on here and call people to see work Yeah, it's true. I actually do feel like I make a bigger effort to be nicer in real life because I feel like I'm getting nastier on this show I'm like, I gotta balance that. I'm like, oh, I just talked about firebombing these adorable little children Who have done nothing wrong except be born to parents who want to be on tv Have to do something nice for the world Um, speaking of people not doing anything nice for the world ever Megan. We're back to Megan Oh, yeah, so Megan is endearing the audience even more to her tiny little brick heart By opening her next segment with we have literally moved like six times in the past six months First we moved from the st. Louis mansion to a st. Louis Condo mansion and then we moved from the condo mansion to the palm spring desert mansion And then we moved them desert mansion to the palm springs desert hotel condo mansion that we own And then we moved to this mansion and then it's like everything she said mansion like we just like moved to mansion to mansion I feel like I feel like they need to queue up the jefferson steam song But like read read you the lyrics like whoa moving on sideways moving on sideways to a condo next door To a deluxe mansion in the midwest Oh And then she adds that you know, she's not just some gold digger I mean, she was very successful before she met this guy. Okay. You guys she was selling like pancake mix or some shit She was like She was like handing out boxy charm codes on twitter is on shit like this bitch. She's like she's like She's like, I sell crusties and bulk. And if you would like to order some for your diner, please see me By the way, crusties kicks the shit out of this quick. Um, I also like that megan has an assistant for all her hard work What on earth does megan need an assistant for a mansion to mansion to mansion is probably an intern because that girl looks 20 Megan is closer as she says closer to age To her stepdaughter who was just laughing as the husband kept dissing her over and over loved it Well, Jim. He's really like an asshole I mean if you ever wanted to know what she and kia would grow up to be this it's gonna be Jim edmonds Who's like do you want me to answer the question you asked me or what like what babe? What and then she starts talking and she's like are you listening to me? He's like, yeah, I can multitask unlike other people here I'm like god this guy. There's anything that's gonna make me like megan It's gonna be how much I dislike Jim edmonds already Hey, listen, and I have not feel bad for a woman who marries a man for his money Some old man for his money and then gets upset when he's mean to her. That's what they do. Okay. He's not buying you to be nice to you It's like buying You know that poor guy. I feel sorry for him It's like spending a lot of money on a cow and then spending all this money on cooks to prepare that cow for you And then at dinner your fucking burger starts complaining at you, you know, he's probably like shut up cow I paid for you be quiet. Let me eat you and then she has to rationalize it by saying, you know Jim just really knows my soul like he just gets my soul and i'm like, well, what like what is your soul? I'm imagining like her soul is like a ball of lint, you know, like that's like that's that's all it is Although I have to say I am not actually as much as we are like hating on megan I the jury still out for me because I feel like she could be One of those ice cold awesome bitches, but right now she's a knock. I'm a judge who doesn't just let that jury take a week You know people have to get back to work that jury's not going to be i have to see Someone's fate for a week. Okay. This jury comes in every day and gives a verdict every day Okay, you may get 30 by the end of the season, but this jury is in and she's a bitch Well, right. She is a bitch and i'm gonna wait to watch her be destroyed by this marriage because she deserves it She will be i'm just looking forward to seeing how she interacts with vicky shannon and heather And depending on how she interacts with him will will determine how much i like or dislike her but um You know because i am very optimistic Well, actually maybe saw her in charge with heather so i don't like that But i am optimistic that she will be hilarious with shannon and vicky you know that shannon and vicky are going to hate her Hate her hate her hate. Oh, yeah Oh, yeah Well, she tells them both off in the beginning of the thing of the coming this season on the real housewives Orange county like she they do that whole thing where shannon's like excuse me. Miss 30 year old not inviting me to your tea party And then she calls i love it that her old hat i love i love i love shannon's big insult is like excuse me miss 30 year old Burn that shaming somebody yeah Yeah, it's like um the stupid cathey hiltons. Oh lisa rina needs to eat something. It's like oh burn Yeah, you sure got her fatty get out of here But it's like she's burning her on like something that's factual Like it's not even like excuse me miss like miss america She's just like excuse me miss 30 years old excuse me miss miss Born a woman. It's like, okay Excuse me miss oxygen breather Hello miss put on mascara today david have you seen this girl? Oh my god don't look david don't look david david where you going david come back Come back david you work on this david david is that your mistress arriving in a helicopter david David david david your mistress uh david you want to leave on a helicopter don't you david be honest david Uh So then we see a scene of her family dinner with the teenager who just makes mark i'm sorry i have to interrupt cut in No, no, I have to interrupt. I just realized something this has this is going back in time a little bit Do you just realize that there was a whole sequence with um Heather in the beginning of the episode showing off this gigantic shaft where you chandelier is going to be She is so competitive. I guarantee that's going to come back You know because because what's her face shannon is the one with the chandelier And I just realized all of last season was shannon saying that heather was trying to one up her and now heather is installing a giant chandelier Oh my god. I'm excited. You know, there's going to be a secret room in there It's just going to be like this is where my frozen embryo sleep i come in and sing to them every night while cuz that cries alone in her room And you know there's gonna be like a secret basketball court too. It's like well We saw you had a basketball court so we put in a basketball court and a volleyball court And an indoor football stadium like with that extreme football Extreme football just so there will be enough broken faces to keep us in this house for years to come Oh god. I'm excited. I'm sorry. So go on continue Uh, nothing. I was just gonna say dinner with family and uh this mega girl I'd love that they kept doing this. He knows my soul and he really understands me intercut with him being like shut up He's stupid whore and then they go to dinner and the daughter's like Megan says it's so nice to be out having dinner with my family and the daughter goes that snip scare term I just love teenagers. I love it Oh my god. Oh, and he and so Traffic he was like oh it's backed up from here there and she's like well. I'm in the same traffic as you I'm like, oh my god. This is this is a family that could drive off a cliff Well, he at least got romantic with her because she said Um, I'm in the same traffic. It's you. I'm just trying to look at the silver lining and then he used a quote from their vows Uh that they wrote for each other when they got married and he said there's no silver lining And I just I got a little tear in my eye and that was romantic Yeah So then we go to um, then we go back to another waiter scene Hey, what are what this waiter's thinking the waiters like hey have you guys been there before and they're like gee I don't know. What are we gonna order and then they thought about what they're gonna order And then we found out that megan is gonna order some steak and doesn't like wearing his wedding ring Yeah, and then megan says we're we're redefining what family means. I was like no Like katelyn jennars redefining what family. Yeah, you're some young whore marrying for money Okay, that's not redefining anything three number three. Yeah, number three He doesn't even care enough to wear his wedding band around you. He loses it and it's like it's like the same as if he lost a receipt He's like, I didn't even bother them before I Yeah, I wish I was really friends with her in real life. So her nickname could be the third. I know I know I'll be like what's up the third Okay, um wedding ring we're redefining what family means Yeah, you're a real little girl singing about keychains on the tony's honey get out here. Yeah, yeah So anyway, uh, then we go to shahlin and david. Hey, man. Hey, man. So things are Hey, baby She uh They're they're packing up to go to a couple's retreat But before they do that shannon's like david david, I want to cleanse the thing sweet relationship crystals david david David, I'm very serious about this relationship I want to rehang those crystals right in the corner in between the gaudiest curtain rods rostress for less hat david David if you love me, you would touch my gallbladder the way dr. moon does david David david this this crystal is supposed to entice you to touch my prostate feeling anything david david where you going david david I hear the garage door opening david do not lower the chandelier david As if that's like his big getaway move he lowers the chandelier very slowly so where she can't get to him He's like phew got away David riding the chandelier again. That's why it's always broken change a light bulb why you're up there are you too stupid I just don't understand why david doesn't love me like david david david why are you david i i I lit an anti-fare candle. Why are you still having an affair david? *laughter* Um now you know, I love me some shannon beadore. Okay, I really do love her Okay, I love that someone make a season-long fight about a chair stealing it is like a sizzle. Love it Okay, i'm never gonna not like shannon But this fake shannon woe is me bullshit like shannon just sits there innocently and never does anything in that marriage No wonder he cheated and not only did he cheat okay? I can't even say that i'll I'll go there later. We're gonna get to the heart. I I don't think it's fake woe is me I think she actually well, it's it's what didn't stop him. It wasn't even crying I mean part of it. She was actually crying, but part of it was like and and first of all, what are you putting this on tv for? Like i don't know. I mean last year we you know, we were so happy and I mean look at my hair Look at it just last look at the clips from last year and look at my hair Look how how wispy it was. I had side bangs in my face and then it just all fell apart I had I had two hair chandeliers on each side of my head Lower than up and down very easily David Well, I mean just just to jump ahead just a little bit. I mean it is Where where shannon's bullshit comes from is when she's talking to us about the affair And I feel like she's being very candid and I what I like if I candid about Uh shannon is I feel I actually do think she's real. I don't think her woe is me is bullshit That's tamara's job to do the bullshit woe is me and that's kind of why she's entertaining in a fucked up Why believe she's really hurt, but I think that like where where where shannon's bullshit comes in a little bit is when she cries about this affair This mistress which obviously she should cry about and she tries about The devastation on her family, which is totally legit and she talks about how sad she was when her kids found it I'm like this is where it comes a little bit of bullshit Uh because okay, of course, it's terrible that the kids found out but now here you are on national tv airing it out even more so I mean you have like You can't you can't you sort of lose some some sympathy from me a little bit I mean you always have sympathy for me shannon because I love you. You were like a wonderful flower I just want to grow in my life. No one wants to get cheated on her being a miserable marriage But yeah, she's just kind of ridiculous and she uses this stuff a little bit too much I mean every time they went to shannon she was like oh well and then we were happy and then david You know like a little cockroach on the ground he crushed it and i'm that that the white beads that come out of the cockroach But she is they're on the floor now. I just think yeah, my kitchen's filthy. I mean David David I just love seeing her in her fragile state. She just she just has this look her her head is sort of like pushed back She gets like a little double chin and whatever and she sort of stares blankly and her She has like a little frowny thing where she presses her lips together and she's like favorite Yeah, I just like fragile. You know what that look is. I'm just thinking of it now as you're describing her look I finally realized what is so delicious. This is so horrible to say but what is so horrible So horribly delicious about shannon's emotions Shannon is one of those people who really loves misery Like you can just tell like something that happened and she is just so excited to get to talk about it on tv To get to talk about it with her friends. It's all she talked about last year and if that relationship isn't miserable She will make it realistic Miserable so that she can talk about something. She just loves the misery and she's like you gotta have a hobby. I'm with you girl She's like I just saw the feel good musical of the year. It's called lame. It's a rob She's like have you ever seen something that opens with a gang rape of a young whore? I mean, I'm in. I'm mad. I'm mad. No, she's oh, hey, babe. Um, but here's the other poor shannon Her biggest problem is that she can't Get out of her own way. You know what they're driving to this couple's retreat She's talking to david and she's like I just hope this really fixes everything and she's like I love you And he's like I love you too and she goes I hope so. I'm like Shannon. Oh, that's not how you that's not how you bridge the gap You don't throw in a bar like that and then make him feel shitty, you know Her husband is terrified that she's gonna have an emotional breakdown at every moment and david taught david David Ox in questions because he's just terrified his eyes are wide open He's always read like he's about to start sweating and like his eyes are darting around like he's looking for the nearest exit and she says things like David are you gonna take that suitcase to the to the car and he's like, yes, I will Like he's always questioning will I what am I gonna do? You tell me Shannon you tell me. Yeah, I don't want to hurt you Can you is there any room in there for the chandelier? Can we bring it to the retreat or no? Okay, no, okay, but I thought if you love me, I thought you would've put the controls out I don't want anybody moving this up and down without me here david, you know, hather hather has a trying to buy a chandelier I saw her at the chandelier store Um this thing where she's they're on their way to a couple couple therapy retreat She's like well, then we've tried everything because it's just gotten so bad I mean we spoke to a pastor and I thought oh jeez. What are the pastors in Orange County gonna say god? They're gonna be like hit job like go get some new tips and he wants like what are they gonna tell you who goes with a god wants you to have God wants to have tits, but first you gotta pay me $500. Thank you come again Or you go let me leave you with this hashtag at least he's not a faggot So me well, so they arrive at their at their um at their couples retreat and it was like the most depressing Thing of all time. It's I think was being held in the presidential suite of the airport holiday in it was The most depressing thing is they're walking up. They've got this horrible marriage Obviously the sex isn't good because he's getting it elsewhere and what's right behind the ticket agents Like what's the artwork on the wall a giant trumpet? It's like why do you need to like say blow poor thing like if she wouldn't be in this mess It's like take the advice of the artwork darling and save yourself some time go in the hotel room blowing this whole thing of blowover Go on. Oh my god. Get up there. So then the bombshell news I mean we always suspected that that David must be having a fair or something And then it finally actually came out. It was confirmed It came out in this retreat that David had an affair at some point and then Shannon starts talking about how she discovered it She heard some whispering say about are you who you whispering to on your whispering to my crystal And then she starts to start snooping around at one point She got his briefcase and she found all his hotel receipts in which case i'm thinking Why are you keeping hotel receipts and why are they in your briefcase? What are you thinking? Did you want to get caught that is the most ridiculous thing? Paperless era paperless because it's really difficult to tell your wife you're having an affair in question form There's just no problem with it doing was he going to write it off kind of evidence was he going to write it off on his taxes? I mean why is he keeping those receipts? It was business because part of my life is Part of my profession is being married to a really rich lady And if I lose her then I lose a lot of my money. So it's business Um, yeah, so he just he's just an idiot, you know men are dumb They really they really are that's the answer. Did you catch the part when they first of all these therapy sessions It's not group therapy is never good because it's hard enough dealing with their own problems But having to listen to homely couples next to you. I do not want to listen to that bitches problem I'm sorry. I love to hear it. I loved it to me. This was like A return to starting over. I was like, where is a yanla van zand? This is like straight up yanla van zandville All they needed Was a mannequin version of of shannon to put her on trial with de la risa's the judge Okay, because by the way that happened that happened on an episode of starting over When de la risa was a judge presiding over that fat woman jill Jill was on jill was on trial for her life and she was being prosecuted by a mannequin version of herself Oh my god It was brilliant and that's what the show needs. That's where shannon needs to go. She needs to go to like Like her self court Did did you catch when they were talking about well when they were in the middle of this therapy one of the things they did They're like, okay, everybody. We got you giant poster boards And you're gonna write down all of your problems And I mean these things were huge. It was like another science fair project and They were writing down their problems when people are making little charts and shannon's like, um, you know lemon bowl Dirty crystal Spots on the kitchen counter A fair she writes like gigantic caps Mother who doesn't love me chandelier This is a fairing caps and then under david Oh, man And then they cut to david who had you know, they had to talk to different couples about their own problems And so david was talking to this couple and he said something and I didn't write down the quote, but he said something like Yeah, I was having an affair and it was actually an amazing time in my life He's like I never felt he's like actually I did catch that he's like he's like he's like yeah This is when I had my affair. This is really when I actually it was like the it's probably the best I've ever felt in my life I felt like just so much life in me. Um, and then it was ruined by the devastation that caused my family I mean that shit was like Ombre, you know, it was like really dark at dark at the bottom and really light at the top He's like it was really great and then I got dipped He's like he's like I got cheated on in high school once and then I had a great time in my 20s And then I fell into this awful marriage And then there was hope when I had this affair and it was ruined when my wife felt made me feel bad about it so And then I went to on delays with vicky gumbles and once Oh Getting caught. Oh is the biggest problem that guy's such an idiot And I loved it because you know they were sitting at home last night and you know Shannon caught that Oh, yeah, david, david, what did you say there? I was the best time of your life. What what about our wedding? What about the time we went to Paris? We never went to Paris, but you said you would take us there, david Why didn't we ever go to Paris the kids went through why'd you go without me? Well, it was a school trip Well, you still could have brought me david. Do you not love me? It was very de-class say to ride young tight vagina on your poster board david Why was that a happy moment? That's not your manager terrible david. I mean, it's like you weren't raised by rich people of david You're so embarrassing. Ah Just go hang out outside the walmart. I'll come pick you up when we're done with lunch david david I feel very disconnected from you. I feel most disconnected when i'm in the foyer And I see you up at the top of the staircase with a mask on over the chandelier david don't talk about me Um, so then we get to see heather trying to count her bathroom still hate her. Yeah She's like, whoa, look at me. I'm like crazy headed to bro and totally relatable. Look at all my 14 bathrooms. Ah How many bathrooms are there again? Yeah, because the assistant needs her own the interns need their own I want an outside thing for the gardeners because honestly their pea kills the trees. You would think they know that that I mean I don't know put something outside Out of here hate her shut up. So then we went to um a baby shower for Tamara's future grand daughter Um, and she's like it's a shabby chic baby shower. I'm like, just let me know when the chic part arrives. Okay. Thank you Just camera You know, cunt's not doing it very well because tamara's like I love this new daughter-in-law And I just I really she's from the country like she's really country So I wanted to do something that would make her feel at home And so what I wanted to do it in the backseat because that's where she probably conceived her children But I I thought that maybe instead we should just do a redneck party a redneck baby shower It's like could you spend any less money like you know, it's paper plate. She's like, okay on the menu tonight Are your own fingernails welcome to the depression party? Yeah, this camera make an effort Oh my gosh. She's like we filled the spin studio up with bales of hay and got some red solo cups It was shabby chic a gay. It's all our budget could afford Of course by the other words for people. That's as much as I could afford to by the way. I want everyone to know I know I cast stones in a glass house. I know But that looked like, you know, I understand shabby chic country whatever and as much as we shit on headed to bro and terry They did it right last year when they had their country rodeo thing This was like they literally found some rec room somewhere Just filled it up with shit and then calamity jane walked in. It was like here's my gun and I mean, this is this was really a little white trash baby shower And then she's like none of my friends are here. I'm like, well, it's not your party It's your you don't fucking have friends. Okay. These are your twitter people darling I know but thank god, you know what because then we got Lynn curtain. Oh, I love me a Lynn curtain cameo And she walked yeah, Lynn curtain was like I heard there was some free mac and cheese here She's like my porn star daughter had a baby. So I'm just gonna wheel it around a little bit Mm-hmm. Yeah, that was pretty fun. That was that was pretty funny Actually, the best part of it was the best part of it was that we learned that vicky accidentally posted a nude photo of herself on instagram Which I did not know that that was funny. Oh, you didn't know it's on our facebook page. That shit's hilarious She's like look at my piece Look back in the day We used to put our our ear up to the door to hear my dad's record playing and now look at these headphones I mean it costs as much as his first house it costs more than the door And then it's like vicky naked in the reflection My god, that's like there once was a um, there's a tight end on on the washing red skins who took a picture of his playbook and be like up late studying my playbook and he didn't He sort of like didn't realize that he was he was sitting there naked and you could totally see his penis. It was great Things that are a hundred dollars vicky's boobs and beats all in one picture. It was like the hundred dollar rack Yeah, two things you don't want on your ears necessarily Don't want to your dance So vicky instagram'd her tit Uh, yeah, she's I love how lens like can you believe that her tit on instagram? I mean My kids get pictures taken of their tits, but they're called auditions. Okay. She's not just giving that shit away for free on the internet Yeah, gross get out of here. So I think that's it for orange county, right um Vicky Yeah, I think that's all I had I just wrote I love the therapy session ending because basically it ended with the therapist saying Okay, here are pictures of your mother now tell her everything that she didn't do for you as a child And I was like that's real therapy right there when they're just like listen none of this is your fault It's all your mother's fault like I'm in let's do it Let's do this the picture that they showed of shannon and david on their wedding What and the mom blurred out was actually the most perfect picture because you have on the left side of the picture You have david standing there handsome in his tux looking like he's having a great time Then you have a mom right in the middle face blurred out and then you have shannon like Craining into the photo trying to be part of it with a big smile on her face like this is fun I'm having fun. I'm part of the fun. It's like no. No, this is not a picture of you You've put yourself in this picture shannon. I'm having fun now david This is our wedding day. Um, why aren't you dancing with me? Why aren't you dancing with david david? David It was very poetic Oh, god. I love this show so glad this show is back. Welcome back real housewives of those say I had to say say what you will about megan But already I feel like she's gonna be a big upgrade over lizzy I mean lizzy showed some she's showed some promise last season in the beginning and then she just sort of Faded away. I can't watch a poor person try and badly sketch a bikini and then call it art I can't do that. I just can't do it. What happened lizzy? I thought she was gonna still be on this season She's a friend of it. It looks like she's on next week We know you're listening because you can't get enough drama But there are some things that should stay drama-free like getting birth control accessing gender affirming care getting tested for STIs Health care shouldn't be dramatic, but lawmakers insist on attacking our rights to get the care we need and deserve Your gift to plan parenthood helps all people no matter their race sexual orientation gender identity zip code income or immigration status Get affordable high quality care without judgment stigma or drama. So don't wait Make your gift now at plan parenthood.org/protect Listen weight loss drugs and glp ones are all anybody's talking about right now They're everywhere, but it's confusing to figure out how to get them But it doesn't have to be through hymns and hers You can get access to a budget-friendly weight loss program personalized just for you hymns and hers connects you with a medical provider who will work with you to determine your best treatment option and it prescribed You get the medication as part of a doctor-developed weight loss program complete with ongoing support check-ins medication adjustments and answers to questions a hundred percent online at no additional costs through hymns and hers weight loss plans are more Affordable starting at 199 per month with a 12 month subscription paid up front no hidden fees no access fees and no membership fees Start your free online visit today at for hers.com/crapins That's f-o-r-h-e-r-s.com/crapins for your personalized weight loss treatment options for hers.com/crapins Her's weight loss is not available everywhere Companted products are not FDA approved or verified for safety effectiveness or quality prescription required restrictions apply Oh god, well, at least we'll get to see no one go to her birthday party another year in the row Can they please have that every year just lensity or lensy? What's your name? Lizzie I know her name lizzie lizzie just sitting in one of the shaw's rented party Party buses with all the lights on and all this cheap champagne and nobody to help her drink it She's like I can't believe no one came to mixology No one's it's a soup plantation. I hope they know that it closes at four Okay, so let's go out to marriage and medicine So my first thought as this season started up was that wow, they are trying to cram so much public domain music Down our throats the first two minutes was like oh, she's waking up. She's doing it. I'm getting my life my life Getting my life and I was like it's like three different songs for each woman A lot of public domain generic if you don't use more than 30 seconds, it's free Yeah, so um, we saw like uh the the usual montage of people like at work or buying things Whatever like Lisa Nicole being like No hangers face in the wrong way whatever and then no more wire hangers Those are not wire hangers first of all dumbass. They're like these huge plastic. She was saying she was saying she didn't want any hangers facing the wrong direction Oh, that was mommy dearest issue No, she was saying I feel like i'm in mommy dearest then she did an example of mommy dearest And then she said what her real issue was you have to pay attention. It's a very complex show Yeah, yeah, I can see that the biggest the biggest complexity was why are they opening with her? It's like the other one why is she with Heather? Why are you opening with Lisa Nicole? Everybody's like we'll just show you the good things way later I can't even believe that Lisa Nicole is back. She was so boring last season. They got rid of Mariah They kept Lisa Nicole. Nothing makes any sense, but actually boring this year. No, she won't She got the memo. So what's so actually where they really truly began after the little montage was over was we started with Toya She's like oh so oh jina I moved into a new house and the biggest problem is my house is too damn big I'm like you fucking stupid lady You spent all last season telling people the house would not be too big that you needed the house They were looking forward and she's like oh, it's too big My house is so big. I can't even take this house. Yeah. Look how big it is I'm gonna have a Halloween party this big house. Everybody can see how big it is It's so big Yo, what I should have did was I should have built a wall in the middle of it And then I'd be like two houses one for me and one for Eugene And then if we wanted if we have Then what I should have did is if we had like a friend come over or like the drug cuz I he could take one half I could take the other that's what I should have did the drug cuz I forgot about just how stupid pulling was last night was amazing Last night I was like, okay marriage medicines back. I have to remember all the toy isms are I was like, okay I know I should have did I should have did the thing she always says now and then she had something that she said wrong Oh, that's right. She said drug. She said cuz are instead of czar. I said there was one more thing And I was like, oh, that's right. What I should what I should have did is that when I have came here I should have did this And then she gave us she gave us a perfect one right in the beginning when the beginning she's like Can we throw a party? It's a haunted. It's a haunted halloween house and we're gonna have people come at an ambulance Yeah, what's the ambulance gonna be Eugene? What's the ambulance ambulance? What's the ambulance gonna park what I should you know, I run a company about ambulances, right? It features ambulances picking people up at home. Why the hell can you still not pronounce ambulance? What I should have did is have a haunted ambulance and then people get an ambulance and they're like, oh, it's spooky Stupid stupid boy. Oh, I love it. She's like, I'm gonna throw a big party You'd need to to show off this house to everybody everybody got to be so jealous They're gonna be have to be taken home at an avalanche and he's like, listen I don't want to have a party but we do it every year. He's like from five-year-olds We do not have a big party for you to rub shit into other people She's like, I've got about shit it and he said you just said you're gonna rub shit it. I didn't beat it I was just kidding. No, I'm just gonna roll the ambulance What I should have did is say everyone look at our ambulance because I bet no one else driving an ambulance just recreationally That you about to be living in that ambulance in that rental She cannot afford that poor Eugene is about to lose it Eugene gonna have to skip a meal I mean those people he cannot afford that he's like listen. We're catering this with Rudy's barbecue. That's it Somewhere in Atlanta somewhere in Atlanta, Dr. Jackie Just got all wet down there because you said someone's got a skip a meal. She's like, oh, not you didn't Oh, yeah, the first scene they show of Dr. Jackie is Being a doctor. She's like your baby's coming soon But we have more important things to discuss and the ladies like please don't talk about my weight. She's like your fat ass Let's talk about that. Shall we honey? And people are already freaking out on Jackie for being a fat shamer because that was kind of a storyline last year And you know what? You got to give her credit She's not coming back and getting baptized and like de-cups to get attention. She's upping the ante She's doubling down. She's like, she's like, don't be fat shameful Be exercise proud It's not Losing weight. It's about gain and discipline like okay Felicia Rashad. I love it. Keep it up Yeah, therefore it was no surprise that she dresses a skeleton to the Halloween party. I should add I'm not gonna fat shame you, but I want to make sure while everyone's in there. They're studying costumes. I'm gonna look extra skinny I wanted to show up as Toya's go-wait. So here I am Um Toya's even a fattest skeleton than me because Toya was wearing the same outfit What I should have did was be a be like two skeletons that way I don't number her She had a skeleton painted on half of her face Yeah, and saki was like, well, congratulations on at least losing weight on half of your face I can finally see a cheekbone. Well done So what what else happened in this beginning? They didn't just all show up, right? We had this last night. I forgot how bad it got between Simone and uh, what I should have did last year Yeah, I forgot that also. I mean, basically mineos don't really kick in until the Halloween party starts But it was basically a lot of like Simone being like, I can hang with heavenly now I like heavenly and heaven. It's like oh, well, I like Simone Yeah, definitely is that Let's meet the kids up from school Hey kids, I love your kids You can't stop kids What do you do today a llama? And alana is like uh, put myself up for adoption and wish to get 5,000 miles away from your stupid still fat ass And she's like, alana, that mean why do you mean to me? I have my family Yeah, heavenly. I'm actually really enjoying heavenly so far Um, uh, and by the way, alana and simones sun michael are So cute. I've they're so cute and they're such little smart asses. Just like their mom. Yeah, they're great great little kids Um, and I love Simone, but you know what though. I think Simone should I think she she needs to like cool it a little bit She's like, I'm like, you're a doctor. You're a professional It was one thing last season when you were going off like you need to get it together lady I mean, how could you let someone like toy? I get under your skin I agree kind of but you have to admit the first season she was nice, right? Yeah The second season her practice made no money, but she was a bitch and now she's rich So I think that there's a little formula there. You know, like I know that's how she says on this job And keep those people spreading their legs so their baby will see a reality star the first thing they pop out, you know Well, I think I think also what happened for this party there was uh, we also had a lot of Lisa Nicole Where she was she was talking about how she hired a private investigator to get or she got a she didn't even do that She just got a background check on um, on quad and it caused a relationship to go sour Yes, and she's saying she got this uh background check because quad was asking everybody for money And she was gonna go into business with quad and she gets background checks on all of her employees, which right sounds kind of fishy It sounds fishy. It sounds fishy, but it also doesn't sound totally unreasonable Right and the husband is what really makes it fishy because or you know it's fishy because the husband's like I really don't want to talk about this. Why are we talking about this and she's like But you should have seen all the dirt. I pulled up on her. I pulled up so much dirt. I pulled up books of dirt That's why she and mariah Don't fight with each other because they have dirt on each other and I have it now It's all in a book a little book that I would never use against anybody, but I've got it I've got it right here right in a book and he's like i'm leaving Check good. Go cheat again because apparently her husband's been cheating a lot. I didn't I didn't realize that I think I I think I missed like the second half of the marriage medicine reunion from last last season because I didn't remember anything about him cheating Yeah, they had brought up some stuff how he cheated in the beginning of the relationship and she's like The most important thing is that you talk about it together You talk about the cheating and then you forgive and then he's cheated like 10 more times. Yeah She Lisa Nicole definitely is Trying to work harder for her spot. She is definitely bringing a lot more personality Otherwise, I still think she's boring as hell Yeah, well so far, but I'm loving this stuff. She pulled stuff up on quad Oh my god, and then quad still a mess then we get quad going into some fashion suit, huh? Yeah, I'm gonna do a fashion shoe because that's where they shoot fashion. That's right. I'm a shooter. Oh, here we go No Here we go with um shit It doesn't make any kind of sense with quad like just saying random things With a sassy tone that making no sense. It's like putting a crocodile on a teak it'll be Look at all y'all standing around here waiting for my dog to put on its beautiful clothes It's like he's going to the Oscars. I should name him Oscar because he's gonna win a Oscar Like you know that you're talking about like hot dogs a muppet name and an award for movies all at the same time Right you make no sense. Yeah She's like, oh hon and put that phone back in that in that baseball cap because this thing is going major league what what? Oh wait one thing I wanted to say about this Lisa cheating thing. I forgot to mention it I thought it was really weird first of all how she's talking about multiple cheating, right? She's like, he's falling off the wagon 37 times. Yeah, like her whatever and uh, then she says You know through this marriage. We've been through world war one and back And I thought that that was interesting that she would say world war one Why was it world war one? Has he not fucked a jewish person yet? What is her point? Why would you specify that war? She's like, it's been a war of attrition She's like someone from syrupy had died She it's also a mixed metaphor supposed to be you go to hell and bat you don't go to war and back This is me being a blogger now. Excuse me. You misspoke your metaphor You go to hell and back and it's like world war three not world war one and back What I want to know is why she is um if her if this her husband has been Like cheating on her so many times. What is she doing hosting a woman empowerment seminar? Yeah, stay with him. Sometimes power is keeping 50% of your income The best power that you can have is earning 75 cents for every cheating man's dollar Those real power You don't you don't feel powerful until there's a stain on his mistress's dress and you've designed it Oh Bringing us closer Real power is knowing when to when you can put all the hangers in one direction and people listen to you That's me. Oh, Lisa Nicole The thing is power is feeding non-cancer Still the first still first the almost cancer on bravo. We'll always respect you for that lisa lisa and Okay, so what little's next her husband leaves to fuck somebody? Oh, so then we're at toyas house and she's surrounded by employees And one of the girls comes in she's like look we need a real babysitters because your kid is walking around with scissors and toy is like This is why I can't be friends with other ladies because they they judge me like your kid is walking around with scissors toys like Uh, what do you mean? What do you mean scissors? You know scissors? You know things got paper was just oh, you mean skizzes. Yeah I should have did is put all the skizzes in a different drawer I can have a scissor. I can have running around with skizzes How did he even find those skizzes those doors are so big everything. He is so big. I couldn't even fight Scissors we need bigger scissors. Get a bigger scissors. Eugene put some locks in the drawers I don't want to see I don't want my friends to see a kid with little scissors. Get a big scissors If I have came here and the skizzes everywhere, I'll run around them too. That's so big Eugene is over her ass. He's downstairs doing all the work while she's upstairs getting ready for 10 hours and says so You know, he's like, yeah, here I am doing all the work while she does nothing And he's putting this enter at your own risks line up You know, just keep it there because you're gonna need it during the eviction You don't want fucking homeless people coming in and boarding that shit up and turning it into a meth 10 Just keep the sign up and then get enter enter your own risk Toya's like, what where's my risk? Where's what where's I have to enter at my risk? Where's my risk? Do I interact the risk or enter at the home front door of the risk? What do I enter? Stop talking about my risk. You know, I'm insecure about my hands. Now. I'm dorinda. I can't even do toya All right since we're here to you every time I have something to say Uh, and I love how toya was like mad that people showed up like not in zombie cautions There's a hell of a bar. I gotta you gotta dress the pot. Meanwhile. We got to see Carrie Carrie was dressed as like a As a yeah, she was dressed as a princess from a latin. Oh my god She shows up as another race to a black party. Come on. Carry at least pick the right race She's like, well, at least it's not white Donkin Donkin said I should I'm surprised you didn't freak out at all the skeleton costumes, you know You know with with her track history, etc She's like, you know, this is a very serious Halloween costumes are a very serious thing for me I've spent many years of my life trying to get over this and Donkin's the only one who's being able to help me with it Toya I like the scene where Jackie and Simone are with their husbands driving on the way to the party And Simone has only been invited because the husbands are still friends and she's like, okay fine I'll go and Jackie's like now now I want you to be respectable and kind when you go to this party. Let's role play And so they start rolling and Jackie's like I'll be toya. Hello, Simone That bitch wouldn't say that she wouldn't talk like that. Yeah I'm like Like attitude adjustment attitude. She's like, I don't have no fucking attitude I love it Jackie's like Simone. What books have you been reading lately? Jackie's like, she would never say that come on now Yeah, I love when Simone starts yelling so funny Oh Here we are at the rented house. I mean haunted house like this this bitch is coming to bat Yeah, yeah Someone's gonna get hurt. Someone's gonna have to push her Someone's gonna someone's gonna leave this party in an ambulance. That's for sure And that ambolance Ambolance Um, so what else happened here so then I guess we can just skip to the You know, there were a lot of caddy comments. Well actually what was funny was um, uh, well when Lisa Nicole and quad first When quad walks in is this she's like, huh, I'm gonna be a show girl because that's what I am. I'm put on a show I'm an group. I'm gonna put in a show girl. This ain't Vegas honey This is a tea cup in the middle of a freeway That is what this is honey and she walks in and then and then she and Lisa Nicole have this like very awkward moment Where Lisa Nicole's like hello quad. How are you? And she's like, I am good Lisa. How are you? Just I love that like That's so great I love how their reflection Lisa Nicole has ever put into her voice ever. I know it was to be rude. I know It just cracked me up They were also being handed prescriptions as they entered That's Toria's way to get everybody to get along You walk in and some lady is sitting at a fold-out table in the foyer the huge foyer Handing people pieces of paper and they're like jackie Hopefully today you won't be as much of a bitch as usual Whoa nice prescriptions They told um Simone that she's too aggressive and she needs to take a pill for being too aggressive. It's like oh, Toria. I know It was so passive aggressive. I loved it. It was funny What I what I should do is that I gave them some recommendation for surgery because some of these girls need to go under the connect And then Toria walks after them Happy buddy, and they're like oh hello, and Simone says it was so nice of your husband to invite me And she said you didn't invite you. I did she's like no your husband did check No, I did. Did you get my myself? Did you get my massage? Like I did I left it for you. Maybe you were taking a dad, but I was there went between your butt cheeks She's like no you didn't Just got lost And then Toria's like that's so mature that she's like can't I can't even talk like her She's like that was so mature that she was that she said that I mean how old are you and then she's like runs around spinning in circles in her gigantic house that she can't afford yeah And then they all go off to eat like barbecue out of like a scarecrow We're on the vegetables. We're on the vegetables It's like a ripped open pair of yellow shirt with some frozen sausage from Costco in there Yeah, exactly. Well, this takes up three feet of the house now. What else we can we use And of course Jackie starts lecturing it. She's like and that sir is why you're dead on a table Because you didn't take it seriously. Look at all that sausage you've eaten. I don't see one vegetable in your stool Oh gosh Is it I refuse to watch empire because Gabri said it bays on that show It is contagious and I don't need my tv getting fatter. It's already blocking part of the doorway Um, so she's out of control with fat shaming love it. And so then I guess we get into this big fight Right the girls start going out outside and Toria Starts well, no, it starts. Oh, yeah, well, you start you start. I can't read my notes So really, I mean there's some talk whatever a quad is talking about how She starts explaining how things went wrong with her and Lisa Nicole and then Toria sort of Being like, well, she said we love to work with you and quasi can I finish me? I see what I'm gonna say And then Lisa Nicole comes out and then the two start going at it And one of my favorite parts was when quad goes as a woman I will do a background check on you on you. I'm like as a woman If this is like this is this supposed to be some feminist stance like no as a lady as a lady Oh my pan with a vagina And that is how a woman does it because women were made from the sands of the earth And sands of earth and like mountain tops. It's like, okay, quad thanks for the speech And go online. It's like $10. Yeah, like, do you know how easy a background search is? As a woman. You can order online. Yeah, and then and then quad starts like laying out her latest insult She's like, she's like, you're sleepy hollow. You are sleepy hollow. I'm like, uh, sleepy hollow girl That's my pretend you've read sleepy hollow, but what does really do is anything pretty fun book You are great expectations, huh? Mm-hmm Rip their winkle. You are you are sleepy hollow You are flowers in the attic honey I guess gives a sleepy and hollow which I mean both of those things are kind of true But just don't fuck with literature while you're doing it. Yeah, it's just it's just further proof that quad can pretty much take any Words put them together and make them sound like either An insult or like she's doing something amazing in the world Yeah, it's kind of how we've talked before about that gay thing that a lot of gay guys do where they just say things gaily So people laugh because they're like, huh? It's a gay person. Someone'll be like girl. This coffee is weak and people'll be like The gay person. They said it in gay voice. It's a gay person. That's like quad, but she's doing it on purpose She can go with it. She can either be like, oh, honey. I am getting things done I am a midsummer's not dream up in here or she'd go the other way be like, oh, honey You a midsummer's not dream. Just get on out of here. You know either way It works Hate summer hate dreaming. Yeah, there you go. Oh, honey. Oh, honey. You ain't nothing but you're in the midsummer. You're having a dream That's what you're doing right now Quad has problems with somebody what a shock. I know what another relationship dead in quads world can't believe it Still love that she's with her husband though. She's like, honey. What do you think of my business? And he's like, I just love Because he's so fun because you like trying stuff and she's like trying. What are you talking about trying? I'm living it Yeah, this guy is poor guy. Yeah, quad you know quad is quad maybe actually going down the knee path Which is that like okay? I was on your side big time And definitely against Mariah like Mariah was awful But if it becomes a pattern that every season begins where something Pretty stupid happened over the course of the summer and now you guys hate each other chances are like It happens enough times. You're probably the problem at a certain point So quads got a fix it because I love quad but and I will definitely take quad over at least in a cold But I do get the sense that she's being a diva Yeah, well, we'll see if she gets as bad as nini. I don't think she's as meanie like meanie as meanie She's she's definitely an asshole. So there's that and then there's a fun asshole like meanie. They've got that in common That's true. And then uh, ultimately The quad least in a cold flight turned into toya versus semone and it was the same thing where semone is like I know you want to lay your hand on me. I know you do you want to know? No one lays a hand up. I mean she was going full on sofia from the color purple You told him to beat me. You told hopo to beat me I was like, okay calm down over there and toy is like no. I did it. All I did was call you a bad brother Like, okay, much better. Well, I should have didn't say you were bad parents. I saw it I would never call anybody violent. You're a terrible crackhead brother Um, so there was that I think the season's going to be fun because these women all hate each other And then you got to love it when the most sensible one who used to be uh, what's your button semone Is saying we can't get along because nobody could admit their fault Like, oh really? I have not heard any faults that you've admitted. Yeah, exactly. I'm going to enjoy watching you try Yeah And it looks like the season goes to shit very quickly Yes, um, you know, I uh, I loved marriage mass in the first season Second season it's hard to lose me. Um, I'm not I'm still not totally sold Obviously i'm going to watch but I think I don't why don't they bring back kerry now that mariah's gone. They should have brought back kerry Well, mariah's not gone and I thought it was her show in some kind of way I thought she was a producer or something on the show. She is but she's not a full-time cast member But I heard that she well, there's some beef there's some stuff on twitter about her that She said she wasn't going to do it for one reason Then she said she wasn't going to do it for another reason and then she said she had cancer or something Like she's trying to like everybody with everybody with her fake cancer seriously So I don't know if it's fake cancer if she even has cancer I don't know what it is because I was just reading it on twitter But someone was like your excuse is keep changing, but then we see her come in She's like I will not have these women take me damn And then you see someone like standing in front of her so she can't talk The women are going to take it off you sure came back with some power girl. Yeah, it's going to be Andy Cohen that takes her down So I think I love this show, right? I think I loved it last year. I mean, I don't know I certainly love ladies I mean last last season. Um, I enjoyed it. I just didn't feel like the season one I was in it. There was that great fight. There was the rival rivalry between carrie and mariah and mariah and toya It was just like it was just like working last season There was a lot of like stupid stuff with lisa nicole was like why is she there and heavenly wasn't doing anything that interesting It was like funny, but it was sort of like hollow sleepy hollow, but now um, I don't know. We'll see it's just You know season one The beef between carrie and mariah felt a little bit more real and you could see where it can't you could track it as it went along And so it was that real thing of friends drifting and then because they're drifting they get angry at each other Whereas last season it was like quad quad and mariah were best friends and now they're not anymore because Someone was like cocky on twitter and now this year. It's like, oh, lisa lisa nicole Had like got like a background check. It's like bullshit. That doesn't really resonate with me. You know, it's like, okay They're mad so we're we have to accept that. I like that they really see each other in real life because the last year fight with mariah and quad was Something from some steak restaurant member. Yeah, and they were like and then mariah came up wasted and started yelling at me And then they're yelling at each other in some steak restaurant about lord knows what because they wouldn't talk about it because it was one of their secrets It's in a book a big book that I keep under my bed um So we don't know what they were fighting about. I don't think we ever found out and then Uh, you know, this year it's because of shit that was happening off camera And I actually like they see each other in real life. It's not like the ones where they're like, oh, hey It's another season haven't seen you for six months, you know, maybe maybe the issue is that I maybe I get more wrapped up into a show When I see the the friendships fall apart on screen, you know, like when they start one way And then they fall apart over the course of the season because that's what happened Beverly Hills over the course this past season That's what happened uh every good season. You see a decline of friendships and then Need to be a fight every episode. It's one good fight, you know, you need like one mid-season fight and one finale fighter So you don't want every episode I think when you start a season and two people who are friends all of a sudden just hate each other And then we have to be told oh, they hate each other because this happened you're like wait But I wasn't like there for that and it seems like bullshit So you're like not invested in the same way as when people are like friends at the beginning of the season and then over the course the next Seven episodes things decline and then by episode eight there's a big fight and then every then then it's like oh my god You're invested like Shannon and Heather last season, you know, like yeah, like brandy and Kyle Last season like like Kyle and Kim last season and like Kyle and Camille season one of your company a headache You know, I'm saying though like more. Yeah, I think like Jill and Bethany Like I think when you see things start to go sour It's much more compelling because you can see it you you're there you can you can compile the evidence for yourself You can make a case either either side, but when you're just told like well things were great But then we met at stk and she like we got into a fight and then she stormed out and now we hate each other You're like, well, that seems stupid Yeah Yeah, I agree. I generally like the ladies on this show. I think they're so funny I mean, I guess I'm realizing that I kind of like All the ladies even though I'm horrible to them on here like before when you're like, you know I know you think Kyle's annoying. I actually kind of like Kyle like I would be sad if she wasn't on the show I just think she's not like I don't know. That's weird. I guess I like them, but I love to hate that I love to hate on them, but I like them all and this show especially I just love the women I think they're hysterical heavenly. I mean heavenly total character love her asshole total asshole still love her Um quad ridiculous love her. They're all ridiculous And I love them and I love the most normal one is dr Jackie And she's trying to fix everything she's like sitting in that couch in the middle of everybody screaming and yelling and she's like What I think would help here is some calorie counting and some structuring of snacks and they're like shut up dr Jack novling shut up already. She's like fit is it Women breaking each other down not fun women losing fat Fun like oh jeez. I just like them. I think they're all great. So Looking forward to this year. Of course. I'm in a good mood today. So we'll see next year We'll see what next next week's jury thinks stunning. Yes Um, well then why don't we move on to blood sweat and heels? How long has this podcast been? What time is it? Hey, we are an hour and 35 in and this is on top of like a 40 minute bonus episode So you are sleepy. Oh, oh honey sleepy halo. Oh, you are a timer in a bull shark You're like an oven timer. I set you go off I set you to go off at a certain time and it goes off and I know my chicken's done. I'm like oh, thanks good burn good burn Okay, um, so next is uh, well, we could either do blood sweat my heels. Let's do that. And these for now let's do blood sweat and heels so um It was an interesting episode because there's a lot of heavy stuff in it. The episode was kind of like had like a strange dichotomy on the one hand you had like Cancer and wigs coming off and you know tears and radiation and parents and daughters and divorce and and people dying and there's just like very And hiv talk about hiv hiv test is like serious and then another hand no kidding My other hand one one other hand and then on the other hand. Yeah, and then on the other hand it was like You know what jeneva said that Greg's a bitch That's what the other hand was like or like a dog shitting on a sidewalk. That was like the other half of it Yeah, that's okay. Yeah aids and cancer on one hand dog agents on the other. Yeah, it was a little skitzo So it started off with um, so arzo and melissa met with demetria and like so Um, well, I'm sorry that that's not how we're sorry Sorry with ours are just telling melissa like so, you know what like jeneva said that Greg is a bitch Which a well at first they started with them going started correct you, but I have to point this out again Because once again, you know that demetria is the bully bitch in a relationship because people went to brooklyn have lunch with her No, no, this is this only just went in real life. Yeah, what i'm gonna say that started off with arzo and melissa Getting doing makeovers in an apartment though. Oh, I'm correcting you Already at the lunch. Oh, no, I corrected myself. I corrected myself, but yes, I agree the fact that she makes people go to brooklyn is crazy But so they're sitting there getting their list to me They're getting their makeovers And arzo is totally stirring the pot as she usually does she's like she called him a bitch Which to be fair jeneva said that greg is doing some bitch ass bullshit That's what she said, which is a little different and second of all it doesn't matter because greg is being a bitch So who the fuck cares? She called him peter from the real house. Oh, that's like the worst thing you could do And melissa's like, oh my god, and arzo's like, yeah, it seems disrespectful like I would not want someone to say that about yesterday She said she would unleash a dragon I don't know if you watched game of thrones, but both things are barely nice to their own mothers Which doesn't like me because i'm from afghanistan like we're an eye storm mother Like I heard that shanty called that dragon and afghan haun, which is so racist And it's also like it's a dragon not a hound who would say that? Um, when I saw that dragon burn a guy a lot when I saw that dragon burn all those people alive I was like you guys must have brought black people home I'm like jeneva if you are going to unleash the dragon at least train it and if you don't know how to do it They're like two movies. So just watch them. All right, there's two movies I own them and I watched them with yesterday Seriously god, why don't you go talk to pete, you know if you have a dragon talk to pete about his dragon How about that if you're ever worried about your man string pet on how to train your dragon They'll be trounced next You know what? I really don't like jeneva's dragon because it reminds me of puff and puff was my favorite dragon and jeneva It's like enough already like don't unleash puff on us. All right He dies I don't like to think about those times. I'm like puff. So they're talking about So to talk about Greg whatever he snipes releasing the dragon or whatever and Greg and then Go ahead. Go ahead. Let's just say and then So they're talking about that they're basically getting themselves into a tizzy over some of that doesn't involve them And is not a big deal because of course like if why is jeneva not allowed to talk about that? She's gonna at least the of course She's one of demeacherous best friends and demeacherous gonna disinvite her of course or release the dragon Whatever the dragon may be Yeah, she had a right to be pissed. I agree I had a right to talk some shit in that car Especially when uh demeacherous attitude is like so that you should have talked during my during my book signing It was a big deal. It was a really big deal So then and then demeacherous who's like, you know just once a small wedding no big deal But it's like oh, it's actually a big deal. She's like well It turns out I've fallen in love with two dresses like it's a big deal and then she's showing up Photos from a wedding shoe like look at this photo. Look it's like a castle. It's like a real party warrant Yeah, I've already worn one free wedding dress for this bridal shoot So I need another free wedding dress because it's a big deal. It's like a it's a big deal Like I'm basically like young Oprah and I'm having everything for free. It's a big deal They should just give me the whole wedding But they will oh she's doing it on camera for a reason And then um that dress is free of course It's given to her by the dress owner and she acts like she's so surprised And she goes I feel like this I feel like I've been sex in the city and I'm like, yeah The episode where Miranda was eating cake out the trash. Yeah, the only episode that comes to mind She's watching the scene. Yeah, it's too bad. It's not the episode where that woman fell out the window She's like I need a new dress because Greg and I went cake shopping last week and we're still doing it Um today. We're going to jack in the box for a free brownie So I'm gonna need some velcro on this dress. It's great. Thank you big deal I'm like so over this wedding like I'm like self-publishing a book. I can't focus on this wedding like who cares about weddings But it's a big deal. I'm on everything for free. I'm getting two wedding dresses. I like it I'm getting a photo shooting We got a credit the girl sees learned how to work that reality machine She has got a wedding and all the accoutrement full free well done lady. Well done someone um was asking us actually this week Uh camp the woman be excited about her wedding and stuff like that like because we're haters Like sometimes we we hate different people and so I think it makes us a little more fair and balanced just like fox But um sometimes we just hate on the same people, you know No offense is just how it goes and frankly no, I mean of course she deserves to get excited But pretending that she's so above it and they're getting excited Like she's so above it when it's anybody else But when it's her and then she's suddenly like getting everything for free and acting like a school girl Yeah, it's like hypocritical. She's a dick. Sorry I think what annoys me is that first she acts like she's over it and that this is like reg He's like isn't this funny that Greg's all into it and then she's like really into it And then she frames it as like this Amazing like bell in the city epiphany like oh my god. I've discovered my femininity like it turns out I really do love my wedding. It's like the most Facile epiphany that she could have like oh wow turns that I love getting free stuff and getting pampered and having a lot of attention Well, of course like I don't begrudge her for actually. I don't begrudge her for having those feelings I begrudge her for acting like she's over it and then begrudge her for like Having this quote-unquote revelation when she probably was loving it the whole time. That's the point Yeah, and she's just an arrogant asshole. Oh, and by the way, I'm not Calling out a comment or anything I'm saying this to you because I love reading your comments and you usually don't agree with us and I love it No, no, it's more about just like no People also bring people also do force us to have different perspectives because sometimes we do get into Tunnel vision with you know hating on people And it's good to have some of those people sort of give us a little check and loving on people And loving on girls like we have to be careful because sometimes you pick a team and then that's it You stay with that team forever no matter what and it's very important to vary your teams Listen, I get you able to call your own team out Demetria, we give Demetria. We give her credit when credit is due. I mean, she's a very smart woman We've never taken that away from her Um, I think actually at times she can be very funny But when it comes to this wedding stuff, I think there's like a lot of bullshit That's how it just sort of it rubs me the wrong way. It just rubs me the wrong way Just like yeah, just lean into it. Demetria just lean into the wedding fund and stop with this like oh my god Turns out I'm really like a bradzilla. Okay. I guess it sounds like it's not turns out. It was there It's always been there that power of the bride like you're doing somebody a favor by letting them come to your wedding and spend Money on a new outfit and buy you shit. It's like Cut it out. Yeah, just like and people to help you. These are your friends coming together to help you not You're not doing anybody a favor lady Exactly and when she spends half the season talking about how like it's gonna be small And like I don't want people there that I can call it like 2 a.m But by the way, I'm still doing my toy voice But like she only wants people there at 2 a.m And then cut to scenes from next week on the season finale and it's the wedding and you see arzo standing there I'm like arzo gets an invite now arzo. Yeah And that's what a bit she is because she's not just disinviting her to a wedding She's like kicking her out of the season finale You know what I mean? Like you have to look at it in certain housewives terms Because they've all got the same ammo it may not be called housewives whatever, but it's the same mo. It's like You know i'm you're not going to be nice to me fine. Don't be in the finale. It's going to be a big deal Can't do that. I'd like to see demetria call uh call arzo at two in the morning Hi demetria. I'm so sorry, but it's like two in the morning. Can we talk about this tomorrow? It's just that Greg left me That's great, but I think we need to talk about this tomorrow. I'm sorry There's gonna be a dragon Stupid demetria. Okay, so they go to lunch now that now they're at there now They're at their now they go to this lunch. Okay. Thank you. They go all the way to brooklyn and ask like it Take them all day, which I've honestly I lived in brooklyn and I lived right over the bridge I lived on the bedford stop off the L train like right over first stop off the bridge And nobody would come see me ever. I mean I could be have I could be going into birth and nobody would come to see me Yeah, my friends will like fuck that brooklyn. No, you're coming into town That's how it is, but if you're scared of someone you get your ass to brooklyn Okay, yeah, so she comes in and she's just had a free cake from 31 flavors And she's like all full of herself and she's like listen everybody I just you know I'm so excited to see my friends because it's been such an exciting day And I really don't want any negativity. She's like almost like really then here's arzo Yeah, well the best part is that once again Demetria who is like so over being like in a wedding and yet loves at the same time She's like I just want to enjoy my drink because it's like I'm like two weeks from my wedding I just want to enjoy my drink. It's like shut up not everything. You can't weave everything into your wedding It's like oh man. I need to uh, I need to watch some tv because it's like three weeks from my wedding And I need to enjoy this now before I get so it's like not everything Every little thing everything though then of course melissa who doesn't really care about anybody but herself is still trying to get back at this bitch for Whatever. I mean, what was their original? I actually don't original beef with uh jeneva I thought that she actually didn't even have one I thought they were like fine. Yeah, I think something why didn't she was more maybe She was more on team mica team daisy with a whole hamptons issue, but I can't remember I don't remember any specific thing that would drive Melissa to be anti-juneva like seriously anti-juneva. I really can't track that Maybe someone could write that on our facebook wall, but I don't I don't know where I came from Maybe she maybe she heard that jeneva was jealous that melissa went to the photo shoot at the castle because it was a big deal and maybe Her way of dealing with jeneva being angry about that is to then be angry back at her Well, the whole thing this season has been melissa trying to get jeneva kicked out She has been firing that fight this whole season and so now she has some evidence And it's in the form of art So it's just like I know it's not nice to gossip but in afghanistan That's what we did to stay alive because we were either getting bond or talking about getting bomb So every day is like the smith scott bombed gossett time I love how arzo does this like So Like reserved thing where she's like, oh, you know, this was supposed to be a private conversation between me and Melissa like after the wedding But for some reason when arzo like does this shit staring stuff I mean, she's such an asshole, but I am like endlessly entertained by her like every time she's like, well, I think I heard something I'm like giggling. I'm wait, you know, cuz yeah, she's just like so blingly Shits during gossiping because then she's just like laughing afterwards. She's like, oh Oh, I guess that really bothered to meet tria Yeah, you know, shit. I don't know why she felt thing whereas most is like I think you need to hear something I need to think you need to hear something this would this would piss me off If I heard it and like shut up Melissa And what did orzo even say like what was the big scoop? She's like, well, we're in the car. I bought to pack a boa off trains And she called Greg a bitch and then Demetri is like How am I supposed to call her to in the morning? She's calling my morning. I'm like, what is this calling you into morning? What is this? What is happening? It's you in the morning. You need to call everybody. You know, it's fucked up Do you leave your keys in the car? What is going on at you in the morning that you need everybody in your life to be willing to fucking pick up the phone girl girl Just call the gas company telling you got a leak. They'll send a man over and he'll be like, so it's a big deal I gotta tell someone about this the cake store closes it too. I mean what happens to you bitch I know and she's like she's like, I can't believe this would happen two weeks before my wedding I can't believe this would happen when I'm trying to cleanse my palate for the next cake Exactly. It makes me crazy. She's like, you know, she's my real friend like she's my girl I mean, I would call her she'd be the one that I would call it two in the morning It's like bitch if she's your girl why don't you give her some benefit of the doubt already for crying out loud Why you listening to Arzo and Melissa of all people maybe she's betraying you because she's grumpy from not getting enough damn sleep Yeah Psycho, I am sorry. I need some sleep. I am been stressed out. I have been in a civil rights lawsuit with a taxi cab man who I did not pay Well, but the best way Melissa is just a total instigator too Like that Demetra is gonna take these like numb numb skulls whatever over over over Geneva When when ours is like she's gone on a little really she's gonna release the dragon and Melissa's like I would be afraid if I were you Like what? Like don't you not want people like that in your life? Aren't those people like the worst if I were you I would not want her in your life And if you have any room at your wedding, I'll be I'm free If you have if you have room at the table, you can always invite yesterday So it's not yesterday. It's yesterday. Yeah, yes I wanted to mention what was I gonna mention it was on the tip of my tongue now. It's leaving me hold on Hold on. Hold on. Oh, yeah, you know why it's leaving me because I was gonna give Demetria credit for the second time in an episode Which I can't do it. My god. I can be talked to anything Because she did say she was like look This was one of my best friends I know she probably wasn't coming from the mean place because she's not a mean person And she was probably it was coming from a place of heart. So yeah She was credit for that because this could have turned into you know Well, we were one affair. It was wide. It was quad be like, oh honey I just poured my coffee down a car's hood and like what? You tried slowing me down like a speed bump but like a bicycle with two wheels I went between the bumps and made it around Trying to crash somebody else Honey, I am like a palm tree in a hurricane. I will bend but I will not break But you can be sure my friend might come off and slap you in the face I'm like a water fountain filled with milk I am like a tar that has been inflated with jelly beans. Okay, it's gonna be a rough ride Can a line of greeting cards be far behind so I I agree that that uh, demetria did give Geneva credit, but what was funny is that melissa just kept hammering away at it So at a certain point you could see demetria just kind of got brainwashed And she was like, I can't believe this and she kept on pushing back the time She was like if I need to call someone at 11 I mean if I have to call someone at 1 if I have to call someone at 2 in the morning If I have to call someone at 7 in the morning when I wake up I don't know. It's a big deal. It's getting someone take Demetrius falling away. Please Her theoretical situation was just getting even more bonkers She was like if Greg is halfway across the world climate Mount Everest and my mother is in California She's asleep. Who am I gonna call? Ghost Busters Excuse me. There's a ghost in the library. It's a big deal. Can someone go? It's a big deal It's trying to get into my wedding and I was like I can't call you at 2 in the morning My wedding is ruined that slimmer is in the banquet hall throwing all the food around It's a big deal. Someone called ghost Busters Other things that happened today were the dog agent for shanti's dog who's not trained Yeah, well that dog agent. Oh, well first of all, what was hilarious is after all this stuff then we cut to Milkshake taking a dump on the sidewalk and the camera just like zoomed in like hey Let's get this feces. You can see Andy Cohen sitting over the shit Literally a shit eating grin because we're seeing shit and he's grilling It's like I can't wait to turn this into a game on what what happens What's more interactive Vicki's new faith or this dog shit on the street? In a way So shanti shanti tells us that milkshake has been a broad way And she and milkshakes is worse and she wants to get milkshake working some more I'm like great the new star of fun home milkshake No shit the curious incident of the dog who sits on the street sideways The curious incident of the dog who shits in the daytime From from what i've seen uh from the tony awards this weekend that dog has a chance All right that dog has a chance to teach us some on the town telling Anything from the fifties it's got it's already it's already a step ahead of that Finding Neverland piece i'll tell you Listen cheetah Rivera's limpin all over that stage shitting all over the place You know she is they've got room for you milkshake Milkshakes like when I saw him walking with doggy biscuits on a ring Could you imagine Could you imagine the doggy agent falling cheetah Rivera around Stop sitting on the stage. You're never gonna work if you say all right Call me when he stops sitting on the stage cheetah and she did just be like Getting the shit on you getting the shit all over you So stupid Okay So what else happened? Daisy held a vigil for herself even though she's healed of cancer now Anything for an event that daisy loves an event cancer is leaving But that doesn't mean that it's too late to send out a few e-vites. All right guys I love daisy's i mean daisy's little like ten-year-old muppet doctor He's like yeah what was long as far as i can see looks like you cured Yeah She daisy is really cute, but that girl loves her publicity She's like listen let's not tell anyone i've been cured of cancer yet All right Don't put that in the e-vite It's going to be a vigil because you know how dead people get vigils I was on the freeway the other day And I passed one of those flower things on a lamppost from where someone got run over on the freeway And I thought why don't I have one of those things on the freeway And so now I want people to donate flower The freeway is just going to be full of like pictures of daisy who never got run over Oh poor daisy Uh and then so she while she got her like radiation in her dad watch and that was sad And then um Well, we went back to milkshake because we had that agent that you started to talk about Diane cats dog agent to the stars And I love the uh, I love this meeting with Diane cats And they're trying to get trying to get milkshake to like do tricks And they're like okay, can you make can daisy go down can daisy go down? She's like she's like yes, absolutely daisy down. I'm sorry milkshake down Milkshake down and then for like the next five minutes like down Down. I'm sorry. She normally goes down down milkshake down. Stop shitting. Stop shitting milkshake She does yes She does that arguing thing with the dog like I do I wonder why my dog doesn't listen to me because she's I'll tell him like stop pulling the leech You know what? I'm really sick of you pulling the leech like it's not cool I've told you that's 5,000 times and now I'm walking down the street screaming at you like a crazy person Just please stop and he's like oh my god crazy lady. Yeah, what are you saying dogs understand like one word? Okay, you have to say down and that's it shaunty's like town come on milkshake down Oh, you're embarrassing me milkshake. Donnie. Come on milkshake What I loved was the shift of power in the scene because in the beginning when you see this Diane cats lady She's wearing like this weird all this like blue and turquoise and a flower in her hair and like oh look at this cook and by the end I thought when Diane showed up there's like oh this woman just can't wait to be on tv And by the end she's like just she's trying to piece out so quickly. She's like Uh, I'll call you you don't don't call me. I'll call you Why don't you get some from me? Yeah. Yeah. Goodbye. Goodbye. I got catch the bus. Sorry. Bye. Bye. Bye hun Very serious dog agent. You know that a dog agent is serious when her skirt matches her little girl Herbo that she bought at the store It's like what it's like baby Jane over there. No dog agent shaunty telling go build your business telling build your business She's like, okay. We got an opening and Wizard of Oz and Topeka And then we got to see this vigil Well, first we saw a daisy roommate for wig her hair is growing back her hair. She looks really cute short like that Yeah, I love this. She looks really cute. I I agree. I you know, I know so it's interesting to me because uh hair is very very important to uh to uh to like african-american women It's like a it's like a big part of like culture and all this stuff. It's been discussed a million times Um, but I always think it's I always think it's amazing that like So many women put all this time and energy into wigs into weaves into straighteners into color and all that stuff And um, you know, I think I think sometimes just that the natural hair should be celebrated I think it looks just beautiful and perfect. I don't think you have to do all that stuff to it And I get it. I'm not condemning it because I understand it's part of an expression or whatever But um, I don't know I sometimes I think there's something to be said But just your natural hair ladies just your natural hair Well, her she's super cute and the relationship with her mom is really cute But I feel bad for the mom because I know Daisy started with that whole um daddy's girl. I love my dad. I love my daddy I mean he left when I was a baby my mom raised me and I didn't talk to my dad for like 30 years But I love him. I'm a daddy's girl and my mom gets kind of mad because I don't ever call her But I love my daddy daddy's taking me to dinner daddy's here finally daddy's here And the mom came to and the mom's like crying and she's like, I'm just glad my daughter's okay I mean you never even call me my friend asked me how you are and I think I don't even know And Daisy's like well if you can get the you know If you can get the pin number to dad's voicemail, you'll know because I call him 20 times a day and update him He hasn't called back yet, but one day he will because I'm a daddy's girl Oh god Kind of feel for the mom. I just remember all this stuff from last year and it made me sad Yeah, daddy's use I thought the vigil was actually very moving and it was it was actually I know and and it was a good idea. I think it is, you know, I'm I'm mocking For fun, but I think it was a good idea You know, it is good to be able to share that kind of stuff with all of your friends and have people show up and support you and stuff Yeah, and at first it was funny because before I think Geneva mentioned Before she mentioned that her aunt had died that very day, which was sad and then of course mica's grandmother had died I mean everything was like just so sad this episode and why everybody's dying over a mica's house mica's granny died And then she was talking about her sister Yeah Everything was sad. Um, but it did I did sort of chuckle a little bit when you know, this was primarily a thing for Daisy and Geneva's like Well, we're all going through our traumas. I'm like, don't you dare bring up the taxi thing again? This is inappropriate Geneva, but no she didn't yeah, she's like my aunt wasn't even here to watch my trial on court tv Yeah for my My cop beating trial or whatever. Yeah, she's like I am going on judge Joe Brown next week and I do not see anyone coming to support me Uh All right, so let's move on because we still got candy, don't we that's it the season finale of candies candies trip Okay, so um candy. Let's just speed through this. Yeah, we have to so it's like it's like a zillion o'clock Yeah, this is longer than the tonies. I know so first we had Carmen and mama joys trying to bury the hatchet And it was funny because Carmen's trying to describe her side the story and mama joys just kept on interrupting with these noise Just like And the you know, we I love that we finally got to the bottom of the anger. Okay, yeah You want I want a candies wigs and you said I wanted that hair You've always wanted candies things like she would shake she was shaking with rage when she said that and I was like You are literally hating on this young woman Because you thought she was jealous of your hand me down wig bitch. I really Oh my god, and that was her reason. That's her reason Yeah, exactly and everything she was saying she was and she was oh she talked about like turning like being uh Taking feminism back many steps first. She says if a best friend don't think any more of you then to let him put it in a hole He'll put it in a hole. I was like, jesus. Yeah, so it's Carmen's fault that there's this theoretical, you know Yes And Carmen says well, why are you okay with Todd if you really think that we slept together? Why are you okay with him? And she goes, I don't blame the man because a man will only do what you allow him to do I was like, oh my god When the sister when the sisters were talking to matthew who by the way is a little evil cracker genius Yeah Called it he was totally trying to steal their jobs and you know, and he will He will because they're they're sitting there complaining about it But he's actually he's selling their jobs because he legitimately is capable of stealing it because he's a good assistant He's also a bitch like I could get it in um like all about eve or whatever like sorry for the old queen reference again But it's tony's week um I get the whole like wanting to like cut betty davis's gas line so that the understudy could be on broadway because bitch is gonna Be on broadway, but what are you gonna get now? You're gonna be carrying two purses like yeah What's the fun in that you're gonna be carrying around a step stool and you know a fucking footbath or whatever the hell you're gonna have to carry around for those two It's ridiculous. So it's like you're fighting over a job for nothing It's like the next reality show next top barista at starbucks like what are you fighting for? You know, I know and and and mama joise mama joise though Though in this fight with Carmen, she got so nasty Which first she said she wants to do take have lie detector tests And then she said then she at one point go like fuck you little asshole. Isn't that what she said at one point? Yes, and she said oh well look at you. You've sure done well for yourself You were what were you in a hunday and now you're in a Mercedes? Yeah, you know what that's called having a fucking job, okay? That's what she does. That's what she gets paid to work there You don't all the shit that you're wearing right now that hand me down wig you're wearing right now You did not pay for that. Okay, lady It's considered a good thing if you can move up in life like that and then I love how then candy comes in and she's like see now Riley this is not working. This is not working like we were supposed to walk this out This is this is not working. You're so important to me and this is not working at all. I'm like candy What did the what did you think was gonna happen? Did you really think they were gonna work it out? What about the part where Carmen said okay, just tell me where did you hear these rumors from just tell me where you heard them and she's like Well My friend's husband said that there's no way that those two haven't done it before I'm like really so he's watching them saying what a cute couple. There's no way You know because you know some old man's gonna be like they're both fine The how they haven't fucked is beyond me and she's like they fucked and then told everybody that they fucked No one ever said they fucked like that's the other that's the other big twist is that all of this is just a total lie No one ever even said they had sex Someone said they should have sex or there's no way that they haven't but no one accused some of having sex She's great great. Well, actually the big twist the big twist we learned is that when Carmen went to talk to Bertha and Bertha and aunt Nora And they start talking about and birth like it's a mental problem But it was like it turns out that Joyce had had brain surgery at one point because she was like either in danger of having an aneurysm or maybe she had a small one or whatever but she actually had brain surgery And that explains a lot. They said that she was never the same after that surgery and she's been on meds because that surgery So yeah, but that was since she was a teenager You know what I mean? Like some some people get their legs amputated because of illness and they have to still learn to walk properly again No one ever taught that woman to mentally walk They said that was when she was oh, I didn't realize that was when she was a teenager Yeah, I think they said it was when she was just a teenager. Oh, well either way they say she's on meds for it so that you know That's probably that's I don't know, but it was sad because Nora poor aunt Nora. She was just like started to really sob She goes, how do I have my sister? I love the drama in these women. They're so funny I know if you really want to help your sister put her down. Oh Oh, ronnie, what an awful thing to say listen a dog can only bite you three times and then by law you got to put it down Telekim Richard's that send it to a farm with Kingsley darling Um, so there was that the old ladies trying to get weed with Todd was so funny because mostly because they bonded and said you're our family now And that was really sweet like I was surprised how much sweetness ended up coming out of this show Yeah, I I love candies family I think they're interesting and what's funny is how Todd's family is basically barely on the whole show They're like when they had when they had this this moment where they were doing the the let it burn game And they're like they had every single person from candies family get up there and throw something in the fire Todd's family. I don't know. They burn nothing. They just sat there in the corner Are you like they're like, well, we would have had things to regret had we had any lines, but we didn't so we'll just be back here Watching you silently like we're pretty functional. So we're not going to burn anything. So we'll just sit back here We're just gonna enjoy some here. I wanna that they're selling like chicken And then sell it like chicken and then they went and then and then candy and uh her mom and the two girls They went snowshoeing. It was funny. They're like, we're gonna go snowshoeing They walked all of five feet. They walked from the door to like a little bit around the corner Like snowshoeing. I thought they're gonna go walk walk around going on a little adventure They just like walk Through some snowballs fell over and then went back inside It's like that's that kind of activity Like I'm so glad we had this moment to bond what you walked outside You stood outside for half an hour and you walked back inside. I got too cold See now snowshoeing Having some food and I was like walk on a snow Yeah, so they put all of their beef aside and Blah blah blah except. I mean mama joy still can't help being evil. She's like well I can't you know, I can't apologize properly to Todd until I trust him. It's like oh jesus is Todd trying to steal wigs too I mean jesus, what do you hate him for? Yeah? Stupid stupid old lady. She much mama joys. Take a load off granny All right, and I think that pretty much ended that I was so glad that it was just three episodes. I know so now we have um on on on the tuesday show we'll be doing oc marriage medicine and um Oh wait blood sweat and heels is ending We have I guess we have to do mother funders. Oh, I hate I hate it Mother funders, but I guess I have to if you don't hate it. We've got a ton of shows on We'll see. We'll see because we have also um We have shot we got to figure out what the new shows are coming and going because we got a budget We're in transition right now. Just stay tuned and we'll recap what we recap Yeah, just so you know, we will be doing the um But for crying out loud podcast live all we're doing one of their live shows So this is not our live show But we are doing one of their live shows and that is august 25th here in hollywood And that is also my 40th birthday. Wow So I will be embarrassing myself I'm sure and getting drunk in whatever straight bar we're in and making an asset of myself Yeah, and at some point in the next um week or two Ryan and I are going to be doing a Periscope thing where we take the women to shut up mountain should be fun Real house, not not Lynette not Lynette and Stephanie Um, yeah, we're gonna have fun with those guys. Yeah, it's gonna be it's it's a big deal It's a big deal you guys free cake out the trash and we'll do a we'll do a live show We'll we'll get there. I went so as I went so far as to get a get a price from a theater But I never um, I never emailed the match so much better doing other people's live shows You just have to show up and get drunk. Yeah, but we should do a live show for our fans Um, well you guys come see us are the way If we do one before then we'll try and funnel you all to our Come I just want to give you advanced notice because it's going to be fun I have to party somewhere and it's going to be somewhere awful because you know My ass ain't gonna rent out of space and we're at hollywood in highland So we'll go somewhere really cheesy and you know what the the guy from tinghorn flats He wants to like bring down the screen and like put stuff up on put stuff up on the screen So we might it might be slightly multimedia. We might be putting pictures up there and making fun of the ladies Oh, that would be fun. Yeah He wants to do that. So Well, that would be some fun times and um, thank you so much. This was an epic day We've been talking for three hours and 15 minutes. We just talk and talk and talk And yeah, yeah, so thanks everyone. Thanks for supporting us on patreon. Thanks for supporting us on facebook Oh, wait, did we get our four thousandth four thousandth fan? Do you think it actually happened? Do we do it? The drumroll drumroll drumroll drumroll. I don't like calling calling listeners. I'm sorry fan I'm sorry. I don't mean that. I don't like calling them listeners because they're fans of the housewives shows They're listeners to us. I know and plus we also know if we actually do something legitimate in our lives and actually burn real fans but plus also like Our our fandom is not just limited to facebook too. So it also values people who listen who are not on facebook page It sort of implies that they're not fans. Oh, well, i'm glad we're getting politically correct about it Look at that. We have it three nine nine nine. So hopefully today we'll get one mole. We'll be it full size in We just need one more person to like us one more and we hit that beautiful Finally get cut off babe. No, I don't know. All right. So bye everyone. Bye If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the internet The folks behind the sideshow network of launch the new youtube channel called wait for it It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts Todd Glass Lies a slice finger slicing drab and friends with it for 10 years One of the funniest people out there and I still have a hard time with the last name Our very own Owen Benjamin. That's me Takes you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes and much more You don't have to wait any longer just go to youtube.com slash wait for it comedy There's no need to wait for it anymore Because it's here and it's funny And I love you I To the insurance company that did me wrong. I've moved on. I'm happily insured with another bless your peep picking heart It was just never meant to be betwixt us You gave me automobile insurance apprehension and gaco has come along in just 15 minutes given me new car insurance And made me as duplant as a newborn lamb in springtime And pa has given gaco his approval. That's one thing you never had Joy for with another Claire and mate in columbia gaco 15 minutes could save you 15 percent or more on car insurance If you like watch what crappins you can listen ad-free right now By joining wondry plus in the wondry app or on apple podcasts prime members can listen ad-free on amazon music Before you go tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondry.com slash survey Have you ever wondered who created that bottle of sriracha that's living in your fridge Or why nearly every house in america has at least one game of monopoly introducing the best idea yet A brand new podcast about the surprising origin stories of the products you're obsessed with Listen to the best idea yet on the wondry app or wherever you get your podcasts
