Is it just me or is TV gotten really complicated? Thankfully, Fylo has changed that for me, one service, all the stuff I need. Fylo's got current seasons of the shows I can't miss. Live on networks like A&E, Paramount, Discovery, and TLC. Classics like The Office, Martin, and Friends that I never get sick of, and all the incredible originals on AMC+ from Mad Men Hello to Orphan Black. And don't forget their library of more than 75,000 movies and shows, all of which I can save and re-watch any time for a whole year. Never miss a minute of shows like The Golden Girls, you know I'm always watching The Golden Girls, and Fylo has it. Best of all, with Fylo, you get all of this for just $28 a month. No contract, no hassles. Just one subscription and a world of entertainment. So go to Fylo.tv and check it out for a free seven-day trial. That's p-h-i-l-o.tv to start watching. Unlock your imagination with Audible. When you listen to audio content, your mind is free to paint the scenes and feel the emotions of a great story. Audible's extensive catalog is sure to have titles that you'll enjoy, immerse yourself in captivating tales, learn from world-renowned experts, and discover new perspectives all while multitasking or relaxing. There's more to imagine when you listen, and one title that I've been listening to is my friend Neil J. Young's Coming Out Republican, which talks about the history of gay Republicans. It's super fascinating and super interesting. As an Audible member, you choose one title a month to keep from their entire catalog. New members can try Audible free for 30 days. Visit audible.com/crapins or text "crapins" to 500-500. That's audible.com/crapins or text "crapins" to 500-500. Do you find yourself longing for the utter nonsense and bullshit EvanderPump rules, or miss the heavy makeup and radioactive orange spray tans of the Jersey Shore? Don't have the patience to watch yet another reality TV show? Will I hear you there? The solution is the only way is Jamie. A newish web series covering every season of the UK reality show, The Only Way is Essex, which if you have not seen that show, is hilarious. You can catch Jamie Z, that's J-A-Y-M-E, and the all British shenanigans on YouTube telling. I mean, come on, we've all got questions. What's the potential? Hello everybody, welcome to The Watch At Crapins Podcast. The podcast about all that crap we love to talk about on Bravo. I'm Ronnie Caron from Trash Talk TV. And as usual, I'm with the gorgeous and talented Ben Mandelker from the B-side blog in the banter blender. Hello Ben. Hi Ronnie, sorry for the drilling in the background. There's some construction outside and there's nothing I can do about it, except to go out there and yell like an old lady. Well, that's all right. Hopefully our microphones are even today. We've been working on that all right everybody. So who cares about the drilling, you know? Yes, who cares about the drilling? This is a professional podcast and we will carry on like the professionals we are. So everybody, you can find us on facebook at facebook.com/watchatcrapins as where other listeners get together to talk shit with us during the week. We have live show threads while usually they're live, sometimes I forget. But come talk about the shows the night they air and made other listeners. We should have a good time there. And we are also on patreon.com/watchatcrapins. That's where you guys can subscribe to us. This podcast will remain free twice a week. But if you want bonus podcasts, they're over on patreon.com/watchatcrapins. There's ringtones, there's monthly Google Hangouts, etc, etc. etc. We had a bonus. Yeah, I was about to say, I was just about to say our bonus episode today. We talked about Caitlyn Jenner and we talked about various other random stuff. While I was trending on twitter, I mentioned the things that hurt my feelings. All the good stuff. Game etiquette, game etiquette. It's not really game etiquette. It's more like how to politely reject me without hurting my feelings. Oh, BIM! No, Ronnie, no, it's a fun bonus episode as always. And I want to thank everyone, by the way, for reset last week. We wanted to make a mission to have Chrissy Teigen come on the podcast. And I'm happy to report that Chrissy Teigen is not responding to any of our tweets. So that's very exciting. Yeah, that is very exciting. We continue to be ignored. I don't think she's going to come on. No, I don't think so. She's like, who are these weirdos? I know. It was because we don't. It's like, it's one thing, but we're like 1,000 people tweeting at her, or creating like an online petition, like getting Betty White and SNL. But it's basically only like 20 of us tweeting at her. So it just seems like we're just passing some weirdos. We're just a bunch of weirdos tweeting at Chrissy Teigen. She's like, well, I hope we can stop tweeting at Chrissy Teigen soon, because I actually saw Chrissy Teigen. I didn't really know who this woman was at first. Am I allowed to say that? Am I allowed to shit talk Chrissy Teigen yet? Or you give me the go ahead, Ben. She was like, just about to like, hey, you know what? I'm going to go on this podcast. Wait a second. Yeah. So I'm not sure. Maybe I should wait. Okay. Well, she already knows now she's listening that I was going to, but I didn't know who this person was, but I was at a friend's house who is. It's one of those friends who like plays everybody, the TV as entertainment before you go out. Bad idea. We're old. We're getting old. But he's like, look at this show I like. It's about lip syncing. And all these celebrities come on and then they lip syncing against each other. And he was showing us lip sync clips or whatever. So this Chrissy Teigen chick, I guess, is on that show. And she doesn't really say anything. She's just like the DJ lady. Have you seen this show? Do you know what I'm talking about? It's like lip sync for your celebrity or something. I've seen parts of it, you know, yeah. Can you do lip sync to stay a celebrity or whatever? But like movie stars and stuff do it, but big stars do it. But anyway, she's in the back and she's the DJ. That's her job on the show. And she just DJs like she pretends she's spinning a record during commercials. And then she puts her hand up and like waves it and stuff. And I was like, who's that? You know, who's that bimbo? Like what the hell? Why do they keep showing her? She's not even really scratching a record. And they were like, oh, that's John Legend's wife. And I was like, really? All those beautiful love songs and he's been singing to a model this whole time. Is it weird that that makes it less romantic when I hear it one of his songs? Well, to be fair, she is supposed to actually be really awesome. I know that sounds ridiculous. But people I know who dance on that very show you've said, people I know very well have said that she's actually really cool. And other people say she's really cool. So I guess, you know, I guess John Legend, you know, sees more than just beauty. I don't know. I don't know what I'm saying. What am I selling it out? I'm like, I just find songs, I find romantic songs less romantic when you're talking to a model. Like, of course, you love a fucking model. You're five little little shy. I'm like, come on. Of course, you got written down a model right away. Like it would be different if it was Wolfman. What's that actor's name from Australia? The Wolfman from X-Men? Oh, oh, yeah, Jackman. Yeah, Hugh Jackman got rich and he kept his his wife. Every time I see him on the red carpet with like a heavy older wife, I'm like, you go Hugh Jackman. Hey, publicist, get out of here. Get out of the frame. Why are you kissing Hugh Jackman, publicist? Get out of there. I want Hugh Jackman to do a cover of that beautiful John Legend song. So I can find it romantic again. All right, all right, that's enough of that. Boxy charm, guys. Boxy charm. You know what I'll bet Chrissy Teigen gets? Because whether or not I agree with romantic songs about her, I do agree that she deserves love and she deserves beauty. So I hope that John Legend loves her enough to get her boxy charm. Boxy charm is a beauty subscription box that sends you full-sized products ranging from cosmetics, skincare, hair care, and more for only $21 a month, plus free shipping with no long-term commitment and you can cancel at any time. Okay. Other companies send sample sizes, but boxy charm sends you full-sized products from popular brands such as Tarte Cosmetics, NCLA, Oscar Blandy, and Cargo Cosmetics. It's a total value of $95 plus each month. And that's for only $21 a month plus shipping. They also offer exclusive member-only offers and giveaways from the best brands. Subscribers can relieve loyalty points that are tied to being with you. Subscribers, leave your loyalty points right now. Do not abandon your purse. Otherwise you will leave your loyalty posts. Subscribers can receive loyalty points to redeem extra goodies for their box. Perfect for treating yourself, wife, girlfriend, mom, friends, Chrissy Teigen. If you're not sold, just search Boxy Charm on YouTube to access thousands of unboxing videos. So, get yourself some Boxy Charm. Chef Penny, quickly, put the tuna tarte on the box and send it to Boxy Charm so someone can unbox it. Someone put that on their face. I've got to tuna tarte on my face. Boxy Charm told me to do it. Whatever you do, Chef Penny, do not abandon your Boxy Charm. There's tuna tarte on there for your face. Chef Penny abandoned her post, but at least it was to watch unboxing videos of Boxy Charm on YouTube. It's a forgivable offence. Darling, here's what you do, okay? You go and you steam some asparagus, you put it in a box, you send it to someone and say, "Put it on your face, do it right now." So, we've got an action-packed soda today here at Watch what Crapin's "Watch" went down this week. A lot of action, a lot of action. And maybe not, but even if it didn't, it still, it still, it still counters action to us all right. Ben, did you watch the, I mean, I know you did. I don't know why I'm asking you. But can we please start with Real Housewives of Melbourne? I think we have to because it's our last one of the season. Oh, Real Housewives of Melbourne. I love you so. Don't leave me. Don't be an awful person like Gina. I know. I'm so sad this is gonna be our last day of being able to use our accents where it makes sense. Because we will still speak and not show you an accent for the next six months, but no one will have any idea why. Yeah, I'm really sad. Okay, is Lydia trying to speak in an American accent? Yes or no? I think she's just speaking in the language of love. She's trying to speak in an American accent. She's changing her accent. Like she's really hardening those Rs. I don't know. I don't know why it matters, but that's the top of my notes. Well, she's tried a lot of different accents and this is her 71th. Yes, that's right. It's in my marriage contract that I keep my husband with a boner and he gets bonus from different accents. So today I'm trying to America. Mr Figaro only listens to American accents, not to speak in American accents in order to make them run. There's something about rolling over that Americans just know how to command. Let us discuss Real House of Miami. I mean, Melbourne. So we opened up today with Petafloor. It's the continuation from last week where Petafloor has stoned off the stage because I do not deal with liars. Okay, you guys, you guys, if you're going to say this, I'm going to go. Okay, because I'm not a liar. Okay, you guys, you guys. Okay, that is enough. I'm going to go. I'm not a liar, you guys. How dare you call me a liar. I do not drink. Like we've seen you drink on the show, darling. Two drinks is the minimum. Listen, I only have two. I only drink two drinks, okay? Only two drinks, okay? Which means that I do not drink. Yeah, a comedy club having a two drink limit doesn't mean it's not serving alcohol. You fucking idiot. Like you can change the terminology, but it's still drinking. Yeah. Yeah, darling, she's like sitting in like the crew seat. She's just unfolding chairs. She's like, I will not go out there with liars. You know, one thing I do not deal with is liars. I do not like liars. If I liked liars, I would actually put my book in the fiction section of Amazon, but I hate fiction. I hate it. Do you know, one sort of book I never eat? Fiction, because it's all a book of liars. It's a book of liars. Have you ever heard of Shakespeare? Biggest liar in the world. I hate him. One time my son went to school and they tried to make him to a Shakespeare play, and I took him out of school. I remember that first met at Nancy Drew, and I was so shocked that such a crime could happen and that such a little girl could solve it. And then I found out it was all lies because it was fiction, and I felt so betrayed. Book after book of Nancy Drew lying to us. She doesn't even exist. I cancelled cable because of murder she wrote. Not only is it a show filled with lies, because there is no author who solves mysteries, but it's about an author who lies and lies on the page. No, double no. I cannot support, I cannot support anyone who just actively lies to people. To be afterwards. I'm double freaking out, bitches. You know what I don't like? I know what I don't like is Stephen King. He writes his books and I thought, "Oh my goodness, I never thought that goes for real." And then I realized it goes for real. And then at the end I found out it is just a book of fiction. That is not right, okay? I do not deal with liars, right? Also, my next book is called Misery. Misery, bitch. So, bitch, pet cemetery. The bitch shining. Well, it's still tan. Okay. No other floor. You ever read that book with your bitches? So, pet-a-floor. Pet-a-floor was so furious about being called drunk that she stormed off the stage where no one could find her right behind the flat of the set. I would be right behind this flat. Do not bother me. Come on now. At least go to the dressing room or something. She's like, "I'm going to storm off, but I'm going to stay in appropriate distance for them to beg for me to come back." That was so fucking funny. And then Lydia, the peacemaker, is of which she's not at all, which is so funny. Because her comforting isn't comforting at all. She's like, "Hi there, pet-a-floor. Why aren't you coming back?" "Oh, really? Maybe you should stop being ridiculous then." Are you supposed to be comforting me? Yeah. She's like, "Switch the bitch. Switch the bitch." Pet-a-floor is like, "What bitch switch? I cannot switch the bitch when there's no power to the bitch light." Then they cut to the other women who are just laughing their asses off that Pet-a-floor is crying. I love these women. These women, but these are the... This is the best house-wise cast of all time. These women, they just sat on the couch openly mocking her while she was crying behind the bad set, just laughing their asses off like, "We saw her drinking!" That's Janet, by the way, if anybody couldn't tell. "Everyone, and now that's our drinking." And then, what's his bun starts asking his questions, and they started telling... Trying to tell the story again of what actually happened, which I still don't understand. I guess Pet-a-floor said that Gina wasn't a real barrister or whatever, and so they're fighting about whether or not Gina's a lawyer. Yeah, and then Pet-a-floor is screaming from the back, "This is not true, more lies! I'm moving my chair an inch back, because this is how mad I am." Because if Pet-a-floor hasn't heard of you as a lawyer, you, therefore, are not a lawyer. Like, she sits there and examines all the registered lawyers in Australia, and if she hasn't found your name, it's like, "Oh, well, sorry, you're not an actual barrister." I've never heard of you like all of the other lawyers in Australia who are famous. Like, of course, they haven't heard of her. We all know that they are only 30 badsters in all of Melbourne, and therefore, since I don't know you as one of the 30 badsters, you are not, therefore, a real lawyer. You are not a real lawyer until your picture is on the back of a bus, period. You are not a real lawyer until you've had sex with my son. What is an accident test? So she's freaking out in the back. The ladies are openly mocking her, and then Jackie is like, "Oh, no, here's what she said. She said that she wasn't a barrister." And then she said the blah, blah, blah. And she was like, "Oh, yeah, Jackie tells the truth." Jackie tells the truth. I'm like, "Oh, now Jackie tells the truth." She just, I'm not sure. Yeah, now Gina's suddenly standing up for Jackie's truthiness. Love it. What was Alex saying about bedside? I don't even know what these notes mean. Alex said bedside. Oh, his bedside manner. Because Andy goes to the dressing rooms and he's like, "Huh, and why did you beat her with a bullhorn? That wasn't very nice. You want to come back now? You want some candy? You want to talk about your boobs? We can talk about your boobs. Some when you come back, I'll say hi to you again. If you come back, I'll say hi." But this new guy, this, whatever, sunglasses on his weird face guy doesn't do that. He's like, "What are you going on about pedophile? Just come back out, you know? This is tiring, all right. I'm getting fog on my sunglasses on the top of my head, because my head's tired and it's heating up." Did your fat ass back out here and let's finish this up? She's like, "Okay, then I wouldn't do this." Because you are not a liar. You were telling me the truth right now. Then Jean was like, "She was walking up the street screaming like a gypsy." Which, of course, is not racist to gypsies. You know, the show has so many double standards. That was racist against the musical gypsy. How dare you suggest that Ethel Murman was a psychopath? Excuse me, they're called Roma, not gypsies. I completely would say that to the story is just, you know, but I love this that like after all this commotion, it's like finally get paid, flew back, and everyone finally gets their seats and everyone comes down. Then Alex is like, "All right, let's get back to where this all started." Gina, did you call her a cunt? It's like, "Oh good, I'm glad we got back to the press mission today." I liked it when she sat back down. She's like, "I need some water." You know who else does? Alcoholics. That too. Yeah, did you call her a cunt? Like, I like this is like, it was like so on his mind. It was like, through all this, you kept on wondering like, "Did she really call, I'm doing petty floor voice?" But like, did she still wondering? The most pressing thing at this moment is not is petty floor okay. She didn't come back. So like, I still want to know, did you call her a cunt? These women do not even apologize. They just keep laughing at her while she's sitting back down. Janet's like, "I don't believe a lad that comes out of a bath. I mean, I don't even believe she's crying. I don't even believe her name is petty floor. I don't even believe she's wearing a dress. She just told us and she brainwashed into thinking it." Janet, how awful. Janet went an awful person. Say she's not crying. She's clear to her. By the way, Gina's response was like, "No, I don't remember calling her C. I think I called her a pitch guy." "What is a pitch guy?" In other words, it's like Russian cunt or what? Yeah, I don't know. As you can't really, apparently it's like an art. It's probably a Bergen word. Bergen really felt a cunt. And look, I didn't dig my nails into her arm. I just squeezed her arm and told her not to fuck with me cunt. Okay, we got it. All I said was, "You can't fuck with me, all right?" And then she misinterpreted that. It was just a joke and I said, "Cunt, not cunt. I don't know what problem it's." Look, the problem is she's Puerto Rican. If she knew, if she knew proper English, she'd know the difference between cunt and cunt. Yeah, she gave it is. The problem is that I'd have had a bad shrimp billy and I got hand tetanus as a result of it. So when I grabbed her arm, suddenly I got locked jaw, but it was in my fingers. So my fingers dug into her. So that's what... I got finger locked jaw. Alex does not give petty floor a break. He's like, "So petty floor. You know what would we lovely to talk about?" Right, she's like, "Don't go there. Don't go there." "Don't go there. Please do not go there." And if you have to ask a question, then you must. But please do not go there. Do not go there. Go on. Ask your question if you must. Ask it. Are you going to ask whatever it is? Because I thought it was racist, but don't go there. Don't go there. So then we get a clip montage of this horrible racism. First, we cut to the cops bashing black people in Baltimore. And then it's off to petty floor being told she has an accent. The best part of this was still Lydia's. You know, she's Thai. She's Mexican. She's black. She's Puerto Rican. I mean, she's a real mongrel of a woman, but it's a real mongrel. That was that there was the most racist thing. I mean, I can understand Gina making fun of petty floor's accent is insensitive and it's mean, but I don't think it's actually racist. But I think that Lydia calling her a mongrel actually is racist. Because you're sort of saying you are a lesser person because you are these things. And they are like, Gina's just making fun of her accent the way we do, which is because she, the things she says are so ridiculous. And that's just the way she talks. Yeah, exactly. I can't make fun of you in a different accent. It would be racist to whoever's accent I was using. All right. Yeah, I think the only time we're doing across the line, perhaps, is that when petty floor says that she's worked hard to get rid of her accent. And then Gina says, well, you didn't do a good enough job. You know, then that's, I don't even think that's racist. I think that's just like a mean thing. A mean asshole thing to say to someone to make them feel to belittle someone for something that they kind of can't help. But it's not actually racist, if that makes sense. Oh, yeah. Well, we watch this big racism clip, which there's really not any racism. And then pediflor is like wiping her eyes. Like she just watched 12 years of freaking out, bitch. 12 years of freaking out, bitch. 12 years of a freaking out, switching bitch. You know what? I switched the bitch because I wasn't a slave. And I switched the bitch and became a slave for 12 years. The cup, the colored bitch. So then, he's like, I don't know why the kid's bitch sings. Bitch loops. Your bitches were watching God. Um, okay. So then Alex tries to bring it back around the racism. And she's like, this. I'm not letting this, I'm not letting black literature go. Okay. I'm going to go through it. I'm going to go. The crepes of bitch. That's not a racist thing. Why did I say the grapes? I'm going to crush it. That one, that one is fine. Romeo and bitch. They're like not even racist at all. Bitch. Okay. I'm getting lazy now. Bitch, love it. So Alex is like, yeah, but it was difficult. Wasn't it for you, baby flu? Cause growing up, you know, she's like, if growing up was difficult, because even when I grew up, you know, in India, I was mixed race. And it is very difficult for people to mix race because we don't belong anywhere. And people can be mixed race to all of us. And he's like, yeah, mixed race too. I'm also a faggot, you know? I mean, somehow that gives me more trouble, but all right. Go on then. Like set up mixed race. Who's not mixed race? Well, I mean, I actually did sort of understand that. I mean, I get it if she was, I actually believe her when she says she was made fun of as a child in Sri Lanka for not being like purely Sri Lankan. I get that. But I, and so, but I think then bring it into like, into this context. Like I don't fit in. I don't fit in. I don't know. It feels like she took something very real. And then she's exploiting it for her own benefit in this show. So I'm going to give you a point. And then I'm going to take it away. Point gone. Point is gone, bitches. I switch the point, bitch. It's a point and then I switch it and took it back. I have switched the bit of score counting. This is unfair. The score counter is racist because when I was a child one time, I knew someone who was darker than me and they gave me a bad score in monopoly on purpose. Terrible, terrible life. It's a terrible life. When I was playing Settlers like Catan, I had the longest road. But then someone built a road that was longer and I had to give it to them. And I felt like I really switched the road, the bitch road, bitches. I couldn't even finish playing Settlers of Catan because I felt like it wasn't my right to settle anywhere because everyone had roads and none of them led to the mix section part of town. That game is like, I felt like I never could fit in in Catan. You know, because I was not from Catan. I was Poshy Catan. Some people were like, are you of the breaks or are you of the wheat? And I was like, I'm from Nita, I'm from Switzerland. And they're like, well, you don't belong in Catan. I just don't fit in bitches. I'm the expansion pack bitches. I'm Settlers Sea Ferris. And they're like, what do we do with you? We don't know what to do with all your sea tires. We are here for the agricultural tires. And I just never fit in on the island, bitches. I switched. I switched. I made a trade. I made a trade. I traded two wheat for one break. And I was like, I'm going to switch the beach here, make new resources. That's great. I earned every single break myself home. So she's. Sorry, everyone. So dot, dot, dot. No, I'm just kidding. She's going off about being a victim because now she's mixed race. So that's really difficult, which I'm sorry, Ben. I accept your opinion, but I don't agree with it. And I'll have to still laugh, Ben, because I'm a psychic and angels don't lie. And my angels are laughing. All right. Well, then we have the Jack. Oh, no, wait, even before that though. So Petafluor is crying, crying, crying. Well, not real crying, but like fake crying, trying to get people to feel sorry for her. And then Gina starts laughing. And then Gina starts laughing. And she's like, wait a second, but you do have an accent. And she goes like, nah, nah, that's not what she's trying to say. You know, I don't like when people do this. Let me explain to you what she's trying to say, which that's Chica's role in this part of the reunion is just reframing what everybody's saying in the most non-offensive way ever. So then there's no fighting, which that's kind of the point of the show, Chica. Be quiet. She's like, I still feel bad for her. I mean, she's in mixed race. One time I had a bowl with painted M&M's in plane. And I have to admit, I was disappointed when I got a plane one. She's like, then I thought to myself, I wonder which jar should put these peanuts in regular M&M's. I mean, they don't fit in the regular one. They don't fit in the peanut one. Like, they just don't fit in anywhere. These peanut land M&M's. It was like, I know. I mean, Lord knows, kids, you imagine being a crispy. Oh, God. Next year, we're going to have a crispy on this show, crispy M&M. Oh, God. Then there was a pretzel M&M. Mine was like, I don't know what to do with all these M&M's. So many M&M's on this show. Not enough M&M's to eat them. Brissy! But I was really happy because then I went to Lydia's house and she has all these electronic draws and each one's for a different type of M&M. So then everything walked out in the end. All you have to do is tape it with your foot. You just need to make sure to trap the right electronic draw because electronics don't know. And sometimes they'll give you a crispy. Oh, the horror. So then it's like this big accent fight. And then it became, how did it become about Janet? I think it was so funny that I stopped writing notes because I skipped to Gamble saying something nasty to Janet where Janet's like, "See? And you thought I was..." What did she say? She's like, "You thought I was a bad person or something?" And Gamble's like, "No, I never had a misconception." Oh, that's right. She's like, "You had a misconception about me." And Gamble's like, "I never had a misconception. That's why I always knew you were full of shit." No, you just jumped ahead. What was it? I knew I skipped ahead, Ben. Save me, Ben. Well, so what happened first was that there was a montage of Jackie, like Jackie's moments of psychic abilities. And they ended it with the fight in the Philippines where Jackie got so mad when Gina said that she was possessed. And Jackie had this look on her face, where it was like five different looks all at once. And then at the end of the montage, someone, we don't even see who, but someone on that stage there goes, "Ooh, Jackie, that was a great look." Just for some reason, they just made me crack up. Because they're always making little comments like, "Oh, Jackie." They always say something like, "Oh, that was lovely." That was a lovely thing to say, "Oh, Gina, that was terrible." What a terrible thing to say. "Jackie, what a look. That was quite a looky game." What a look there. Well, that's going in the show for sure. You want to give it against? We can get it from a different angle. "Oh, Jackie, what a look." I love that montage of Jackie being a psychic. That was hilarious. It's like having a psychic ability, but for nothing useful. It's all horrible, stupid things. She's like, "Yeah, so we were going golfing?" And one of my angels told me, that Gina was going to lose a stick, and then Gina lost a stick. Wasn't that amazing? Aren't the angels amazing? The angels are amazing. The angels told me there'd be a ball, and there'd be a club, and there's one between the club, and the ball would go flying. Wow, the angels, they really speak to me. I've been standing here at this bench, and my angels kept telling me, "A bus is going to come. A bus is going to come." And then a bus came. I mean, can you imagine those angels I'm telling? You've thanked God for him. I might have gotten run over. Those angels are so couture. They told me, "You know what? It may be a sunny day now, but give it a few hours, and the sun's going to go away." And sure enough, the sun went down, and it became nighttime. Wow, angels. Angels. I mean, who knew a white sheet? How couture? So anyway, then there was some talk about Gamble, because Gamble had disparaged Jackie's psychic ability. She was like, "You know, I'm a cynic, and so Wolfie and I, we know we were just skeptical skeptics, so it's just stuff the way it is." "We're septors. Me and Wolfie are septors, and we don't believe in psychic, because psychic things that happen in the future, and you can focus on the future, and when you can focus on the now Wolfie." Well, I just don't believe in any of the stuff that's the psychic bubble in the angels. I'm just, you know, I'm a septic. I have so much septicism that we even have an underground tank for all of this. Got a septic tank, and we put all the disbeliefs in it. Oh, Gamble does not believe in it, and Jackie's like, "Well, that's how I make my living. I mean, that's my job, that's my career. I mean, that's like me going, and, you know, when I see her painting, say her paintings look like five-year-old did it, but I didn't do that. I wouldn't do that, because it's horrible. You just did it. I wouldn't say that. Yeah, you just did say it. So you're just as bad. But then Chica's like, "No, wait. Here's what she's really trying to say. Shut up, Chico. We understand it's not that deep, okay?" And then there was like another montage. And of course, Alex is like, "Well, I'm with Jackie, because you can't criticize someone's job." You know, someone told me my eyes went on my head one time, and I said, "Listen, I'm a fashion designer, and when my eyes look out, that's their business, or I don't disparage my eyes, my sunglasses." But they compared it to saying you're not Catholic to a priest, which I don't think is the truth. I think it's like telling a priest like the Bible is bullshit. I think would probably be close to that. Yeah, I think that's probably, yeah, exactly. Who cares? If you're a psychic, you've got to be ready for people to not believe in psychics, okay? It's just a dumb job. When I tell people that one of my jobs is talking about bravo shows on the internet, they say, "I'm an idiot." And I accept it. Yeah, exactly. It's a very shameful thing that we do. So then there was another montage that Alex proceeded by saying, "Well, the ladies of Melbourne, sometimes are not ladylike. In fact, they say things that could make us sail a blush." And I was like, "Ooh, Alex, it's only a lot." He's like, "I mean, if I was a sailor, I couldn't blush because of all the Botox I've had in my face. It doesn't really work anymore, except for the veins that you see pumping right here. But otherwise, normal sailors blush, blush parade, or at least welcome to the blush parade. I'm going to, I'm going to commentate on it as it passes by, but sunglasses on my head." Who cares that it's winter? He's like, "Little known fact, I was an extra in Mad Max, and I refused to get out of costume." Still haven't seen, still haven't seen "Med Max" been. I just can't wait till $16 is like a normal amount to spend on a movie. When that seems like a normal amount, then I'll go. But I can't be sitting there in Mad Max. Like, I could have bought drugs with this. I could have a sack of weed to last me a week for this amount of money telling. No. Fuck off, Mad Max. I'm going to see, well, and you're less mad on video, all right? Well, if you see Mad Max, you'll see that. There was like a bunch of characters that looked like Alex Perry in weird, like, leather, just in the desert chasing things. I'm Dan. All right, $16, it sounds fair. I'll be there today. Yeah, so yeah, now we're at the sex talk clip, which every woman who said it, she's like, "Well, listen, I think Janet." She's like, "Every woman in Melbourne is getting it to it, so we talk about it." Like, "Where are you getting it from? What tool are you getting it from?" No kidding. What candy product that was sent to you in a beauty box are you using? I know. Bruce, oh yeah, they showed the clips of Chica smacking some stripper ass, and everybody's like, "Why Chica?" I didn't think he'd do it. I mean, Chica was the most into it, then everyone hated Brucey feel. She's like, "Hey, you know, watching that together." I mean, it was the first boner Brucey got since Christmas, when I bought him under roofs for the first time. Superman under roofs, you know, he loved those. Yeah, when she said that Brucey had, like, definitely approved of her, like, slapping a hot mail stripper. I don't think anyone was surprised. I think of anything he was jealous. Yeah, he's like, "Darling, please don't wash it off." All right, I just want you to smell like that coconut oil for a while now. All right, coconut oil and musk, all right. Hold on a second. I'm breaching into my man giant. It's still hard, darling. Still hard. Come closer. Come closer. He's like, "Darling, I'm not sure if I believe this tall tale you said about the strippers. I think the only way I believe it is we went back there. I saw with my own eyes. Let me see if these strippers are real. Maybe have one of them give me a laptop, so I know what you went through, so I know exactly if your story is true. Maybe you should leave the room, okay? The only way to fix our marriage after you were with that stripper is for me to taste this penis and make sure that it's not anything dirty, all right? I have to know that you didn't cheat with that stripper, so I will taste this penis to make sure it doesn't taste like you. All right, tell me what that stripper's penis felt like inside of you. All right, now I'm going to go find it and we're going to compare and see if you're lying. Listen, weight loss drugs and GLP ones are all anybody's talking about right now. They're everywhere, but it's confusing to figure out how to get them, but it doesn't have to be. Through hymns and hers, you can get access to a budget-friendly weight loss program personalized just for you. Hymns and hers connects you with a medical provider who will work with you to determine your best treatment option, and if prescribed, you get the medication as part of a doctor-developed weight loss program complete with ongoing support, check-ins, medication adjustments, and answers to questions 100% online at no additional cost. Through hymns and hers, weight loss plans are more affordable starting at $199 per month with a 12-month subscription paid upfront, no hidden fees, no access fees, and no membership fees. Start your free online visit today at forhers.com/crapins. That's F-O-R-H-E-R-S.com/crapins for your personalized weight loss treatment options. For Hers.com/crapins, hers weight loss is not available everywhere. Compounded products are not FDA-approved or verified for safety, effectiveness, or quality. Prescription required restrictions apply. Etsy knows these aren't the sounds of holiday gifting. Oh, or, oh, okay, thank you. Well, they're not the sounds you're hoping for. You want squeals of delight like this. And spontaneously written songs of joy. I am so happy. Oh yeah, oh yeah. To get those, make everyone on your list feel heard with gifts like personalized jewelry, custom artwork, vintage pieces, and home decor. For original gifts that say, I get you, Etsy has it. Here's the thing. I know that if you had sex with that stripper, he's not going to have any sex drive. So therefore, I'm going to challenge him to give it to me up the butt. And if he can't do that, then I know he's been with you. But if he can, then I know we're okay. So then it becomes all about the women getting boned, which I mean, I couldn't fast forward because it was on the internet, but I don't need that. Especially the part with Petafloor going down on that piece of penis poop that Lydia had made for her at her party, where she's like, "This dessert was made by this special chef, just for me." And it's a penis covered in poop. Oh, thanks for the tribute. Petafloor is like, "Oh yes, you know the mixed race people? In my town, with long cookies, we were forced to shove them all the way down our throats." And then go, "Mmm, it's part of the sex trade. Don't make fun of me, it's racist!" Petafloor, Lydia's like, "Well, it's okay. I know you feel sad, but guess what? You're my daughter now, so don't feel bad. You belong here in my half." "You're my daughter now." You're my last time. Maybe it's time to stop thinking about how racist people are and start thinking about where you're going to dig up the next tree for my living room. You know, I love having a mongrel as a daughter. It means she'll love me even more. So then it turns into a little clip about... Wolfie and Gamble! Oh, Wolfie! Oh, Wolfie! It's not all about getting your driver's vagina covered in lotion, so that you can just walk normal throughout the day. It's also about love between old people. Let's watch this clip of Wolfie and Gamble, and hope that Wolfie doesn't poop himself, as they walk down this lovely street outside of Diamond Shop. It's like, "Go Steve. Nice clip." By the way, on Sunday, and I put this post to this on Facebook, I literally drove by a license plate that said, "Oh, Wolf!" It was "O.O. Space, W.O.L.F." and I nearly lost my shit. I wish I had been able to take a picture of it. Oh, Wolfie! And the best part was, so moments prior, I was actually... This is also on Facebook. I was driving by your house, Rani. And I was behind this car, this slow-moving Lexus, and there was a guy who was like, wrapping in the front seat, and he was really into it, and he was so into it that he was driving slowly, and he was sticking out his hand at the window, and he was like, giving a middle finger to everyone, but it wasn't like he was really giving them the finger. He was just like, acting out this song. Like, "Who is this crazy person?" So we passed by this car right in front of your house, and it was DMX. DMX was wrapping. So then someone on Facebook, this made me laugh at loud. Someone on Facebook was like, "What's mine?" You know, that's the DMX song. Like, "What's my name?" And then he goes, "Ooh, Wolfpop!" And that for some reason just made me laugh at loud. The idea of gamble responding to DMX. Like, she's listening to DMX. And when he does like the call-in response, he actually responds, "Oh, it's Wolfpop, DMX!" He's like, "Shut up, bitch, shut up, bitch, shut up, bitch, fuck you, win your butt!" "I love you!" "You've got romantic!" "Oh, Wolfpop, DMX wants to know your name." So whoever wrote that, I'm sorry, I don't have it pulled up, but that literally made me laugh out loud when you wrote that quote. I loved this whole package of the clips. He's like, "Let's look at these romantic clips, cut to package." And it's like, doling. "Yes, Wolfpop!" "Are you hungry?" "No!" "Me neither." "I said romantic Wolfpop!" It's like, what? Yeah, what has happened? He bought her a diamond. I mean, that was nice. Yeah, it's not really a lot else going on. He's like, "Doling?" You see what happens is you get mad, and then you get really upset. And then that's not good for anyone, is it? And she's like, "Oh, Wolfpop, Wolfpop, Wolfpop." Yeah, it's like, "Doling, I think what we should do now is not talk about this anymore." "Oh, Wolfpop!" It's so cute. And then it turned to... "All right, now that we've talked about true love, let's talk about something Janet wants to talk about." "The rumor!" "The rumor." "The montage was pretty hilarious, because they kept on showing the two of them fighting Janet and Gamble, and they scored it with music from inception. I was like, "Bwah! Bwah!" But then they would make up and they had nice, sweet music, and then they started fighting again and then make up again. They went through it like six times. That was very funny. They put those garage band loops on a sampler. And just kept playing like sad music, fun music, sad music, fun music. "All right, we're not going to talk about this anymore, right? But you started a rumor!" And then, so then when they're talking about it, then Janet drops the bomb that it was Lydia, who started the rumor in the first place. "Oh my god, well, first of all, did you notice when they brought this up, when Alex brought this important topic that every family needs to be discussing up at the reunion?" Janet looked like she was going to have a heart attack. She was breathing really hard. She looked nervous as hell. It's like these women are like, "All right, I'm on!" Janet's like, "I haven't had to do anything except talk about Driver John and make fun of Gina all night." Now it's my monologue time. It's like calm down, all right? You've talked about it 30 times. But then we understand why she's freaking out, because she's about to go up against that mastermind, that mastermind wordsmith, Lydia. I know, Lydia's like, "Well, I guess I started the rumor, but I don't remember the rumor. I guess I think it was something that Figaro told me when he was racing. I don't know." "Yeah, I hope you're not talking about me starting that rumor, because I didn't even know what we were talking about at this time. I'd just gotten back from vacation, picking up an inmate in Mexico. And here I come back and there's something about someone being a whore. And I thought, "Well, you know, welcome to the club. Who else has you hasn't been there amongst us, you know?" And then you took it and ran with it. Janet's like, "That's right. And all season I was hammered." And then Lydia's like, "Paddy Flew is like, "Well, thank you for not saying I've been hammered all season." And Lydia's like, "Well, you know, I wish you would have talked to me." And Janet says, "I did talk to you and you refuse to do anything." "Well, next time I hope to commit this with a more open heart, next time I want my heart to be as open as gambles. Regina has been on Facebook and then this will all be solved." Oh gosh, yeah, Lydia just sort of slid by that. And she didn't even get any flack for it either. She was like, "Just coming back from Italy. That's all I guess I must have missed it. My bad." You know, it was the most exciting thing too, because I was on a plane. And there were all these daughters on the planes just serving me. I couldn't believe it. I was so happy. And I heard that they just flew the plane just for me, because I was the one who wanted to go to Australia. So they made a plane just for me. I've always loved planes. So Australia built me one. Now during this, Gina has this evil smile, which I just love, because I guess she knows what's coming. And she's smiling. I thought it was going to be Gina. I was actually surprised that it wasn't. Oh, this is where Campbell says, "Janet's like, 'There you were questioning my credibility.' And Campbell's like, 'I never questioned it. I always knew you were fully shit.' And they're like, 'Oh, now, Campbell, that's all fool.' Gamble, who talks like that? Gamble. And then Campbell just unleashed and wouldn't stop. She was like a pissed-off teenager. And it was just like, 'You're full of shit. You're a stupid cunt. I hope you die. I can't wait till you die. I'm going to come shit on your grave.' It was like, 'Whoa, gamble. Reel it in.' But what I am reeling it in. I'm not saying anything, you stupid cunt. I hope you drive and die like you're vagina. And she told her, 'You're vagina is way too hard to, or you're vagina is way too dry to ride me this hard.' I'm never like, 'What does that mean?' But that was when Manuela came at. All right, so the next part is Manuela. Manuela, who sort of to me looks like some mix between Kathy Baker and Olivia Newton-John with bangs from '92. Kathy Baker, oh my God. She's picket fences, Kathy Baker. Yeah, she totally is 1992, Kathy Baker from picket fences, mixed with some Olivia Newton-John. And all she does is laugh nervously. Like, that's her defense. She's like, 'I'm just going to show people that I don't care too much about this.' So she just laughs about everything. They're like, 'Man, well, so what do you think about the rumors?' 'Oh, what rumors?' 'Oh, what rumors are you talking about?' 'You know, the rumors that you were spreading.' 'Oh, rumors, I was spreading.' 'I don't even come off the rumors.' 'I don't even know what a rumor is.' 'Oh, I don't even know.' 'I mean, what rumors would I be spreading?' 'Oh, I don't have any rumors to spread.' Like, she's so evil, and she has those big old teeth. I don't like her. That girl's not big enough. I actually like her. I want her on the show. I want her on the show. I like her. Listen, Manuela disappointed me, I have to say, because she was shot down so easily by Gamble being an obnoxious teenager. Gamble really has watched every house watch so ever, because she knows how to operate. And when someone is brought on, she knows that they only have one second. And I'm sure that Gamble knows. She doesn't know what a filibuster is, but she knows innately. You know what I mean? 'Cause she's like, 'I'm gonna feel it now, still a bitch.' Like, she just kept saying, 'You're a stupid cunt, and I'm gonna shit on your face, and I hope you swallow a whole load of wolfies poop.' Like, she just kept saying awful things until Alex was like, 'All right, then Manuela, see you later.' She's like, 'Thanks for having me.' Yeah, and I was like, 'Oh, yeah, of course.' He was lovely coming on TV. I'm excited for all my friends to be told to swallow a load of shit. Thank you, thanks for having me. It was great. I've only known her for three minutes, so I don't even know who she is. Oh, I'm updating my IMDB page to reflect that I have been told to swallow a load of horse come. So, thanks for having me, Alex. He's like, 'Thank you, Manuela.' And Campbell's like, 'Bye, idiot, I hope you die.' This is a very successful experience. This is my love. Oh, piece of shit. Your pussy's too hard to ride me this hard. Shut down, by Manuela. G rumors. Oh, what about when she was coming out on the couch and Gina's like, 'I'm not moving to the end.' No, Lydia. Lydia's like, 'I absolutely will not move to the end. I'm sorry.' Oh, I thought it was Gina. No, I thought it was Gina. No, it was Lydia. Lydia's like, 'I'm sorry. I will not move. I'm not going to move. No, I'm sorry.' I'm like, 'What the fuck are you talking about, bitch?' Like, now I tell someone told you to get off the stage. You're just not like you're in a power seat anyway. You're at the end of the couch. Okay, you already lost. Yeah, you're already at the end. And I love that, like, Gina was like, 'What, why don't...' 'I don't care. I'm just going to move over the end myself.' Gina's like, 'I worked just as hard on the back of my hair as I did the front.' So, you know, we'll get a little side view. Get a little side-paying in there. So, now the rumors flirting with Rick. It's a rumor. Rumor, rumor, rumor, rumor. Rumor, blah, blah, blah. I just wrote rumor a lot. I don't really have much more for this. Yeah, that's pretty much it. I think there's maybe some question about, like, any regrets at all. Alex is like, dude, did you learn anything this season, girls? How about you, Lydia? Lydia's like, no, absolutely nothing. And I'm proud to say it. He's like, thank you. Alex is like, 'I've learned never to get a three-dimensional tattoo of sunglasses upon your forehead.' You can't ever take more. It's always summer on my head. Yeah, they did an experimental tattoo. This is less. So, I guess the main point of all of it, oh, I think that we can sum it up with how Gamble summed it up in the end credits. Gamble turned to Gina and she said, 'Is this even good to you, me, or is this just crap?' And, you know what, I think that can pretty much sum up our podcast and this entire experience. Yeah, exactly. Well said, Gamble. Is this even a good podcast? Is this just crap? Like, all this shit we talked about. Like, is this even good? Like, what are we doing? What's happening? I like that Gamble has no idea and she likes it. And I think it's a question we all need to ask ourselves and be okay with whatever the answer is. Yeah. 'Cause the truth is, darling, it's both, all right? It's crap and it's good TV and we love you for it. So, what I'm drawing to say, because Chica's not here to tell you, is that I love you and I can't wait to see more. I love what you've done with the TV show. I think it's not crap at all. I think you've done a great job. I think it's wonderful. Alex is like, all right then. That's it for the reunion. And Chica's like, what Alex was trying to say. Is it answer time? Well, we're finishing up. Thanks, Chica. Alex is like, all right, I'm going to go home to my wife who I have sex times with and I put my penis in my vagina and her vagina as straight men and straight women do. And then afterwards, I'm going to talk to Bruce here about it. And we're going to remember those male strippers together. I forgot that he was straight. Yeah, well, it's easy to forget. Listen, if Bruce Jenner can be a straight heterosexual man with boobs, you can still be a straight gay man. All right, the lines have changed. Write a thank you note to Caitlyn Darling, all right? Because the lines are blurred. Darling, darling, here's what you do, okay? You put some tuna tartar into a box. You send it via boxy charm to Bruce Jenner, aka Caitlyn Jenner. And then you say, here, from Alex Perry, sunglasses in the shape of tuna tartar. Let's get together and have non-sex parties with men, or possibly not. Well, by the way, I'd like to say that what I just said made absolutely no sense. I know, so I tried to top it with lessons. Did it work? Which, darling, comes back to the question. Is this a good podcast? Are we just saying crap? And I think right now, on my end, I'm like, can we go back to the, can we go back to gamble? This is a fun podcast about crap, all right? Petiflure. Petiflure's like, I did not say this show ended. This show is not over. You liar. This is not a reunion, okay? We've been seeing each other all the time, so it's not a reunion. It's just us getting together again. It's a lie. Why, I believe you would say that Alex Perry, your liar. Speaking of getting together, let's go back to a family that is not mixed. The candy factory family. Oh, when they say they've been skiing before, that they haven't been skiing, they're lying. I'm sure they've been to the slopes before. Raleigh already has a snow gear. Layers. I am enjoying this show, I guess, but I'm definitely having the same thought over and over again while I watch it, which is, oh, why am I watching this show? Why is the show on? Who came up with this show? Why? Why, why, why? Oh, a lot of ways. Well, obviously, Bravo is trying to ride the Atlanta train because Atlanta has the best ratings. And the truth is also that candies, extended family, they're fun characters, you know? So even though there is that big question mark of, excuse me, keep burping, there is that question mark of why are we watching this and why do we care? Do it. At the same time, it's like, it's fun. We do it and we enjoy it. So there you go. Sometimes you have to stop asking why, all right? Well, it was a fun episode. Um, I believe it's, I don't remember how it started. It was one of those things I wanted. It started with memories of the old lady fight from last week, which was fun. Yeah, old lady fight, yeah. Or from two weeks ago. Um, so that was fun because I just love those old lady fights. It was like previously on Candie's ski trip. I want the 12 stairs that is wrong, Candie. That is wrong. Hey, you make your hand walk 12 stairs that I sat there. Yeah, I almost died. Well, what do you guys want me to do? I want a big house. I want a big house with delivery menus in there because I like delivery stuff. Love those little ladies. I just want it to be those old ladies just being bitches the whole time. Well, that's pretty much what the show is, uh, which I like. Although this episode wasn't as much about the old ladies being bitches. This one was more about Candie's assistance being bitches, which they really are. So on the main show on Atlanta, uh, we've seen a lot of Don Juan and Carmen and, uh, they sass off to Todd and we usually defend them because Todd is an asshole and he's arrogant and he comes in and he bosses everyone around. And so we sort of understand why Carmen and Don Juan get irritated by him and etc. But the truth is they have become divas in their own right. And even not so much Don Juan because I believe Don Juan does a lot for Candie. Um, and I feel like he has graduated from assistant to the next level where he's her coordinates things for her. But Carmen as an assistant, she does have an attitude and she's had an attitude for a while. And we've been on her side because Mama Joyce is so nasty to her. But in this episode, uh, the big thing is that Matthew, who is Todd's, uh, assistant, is starting to prove himself to be a better assistant, even if he is a little more annoying than Carmen and Don Juan. Way better. Yeah, so he had this meeting with the two other assistants and brought over an iPad and a notebook and a, you know, whatever. And, uh, they're like, oh, look at you with your notes. Oh, it's not funny. Oh, you got a pad too. Oh, you got a pad and a note? Oh, well, don't you care. Look at, look at him caring. Like really? Wow. I was like, you guys are such assholes and anything that he, Matthew suggested, they were like, okay, whatever. I was like, you guys are just, you guys are awful. You guys are making me, that's, by the way, that's for people who is in the bonus episode, that's the way I felt when I unleashed my board game, my game night. You'll understand the board game. I love that Matthew is going from like dumb and dumber haircut, like pushover assistant to like flaming gay guy in his interviews with bangs. I love, or like with his bangs grown out. I love it. That thing is so funny. He's like, bye. He's like by Don Juan by other person. Hello me, you know, bye girl. Hi girl, hi girl, girl bye, girl bye, hey girl. So let's start at the beginning of this episode because we actually started with some stuff that didn't have to do with those two assholes. And this is Candy talking to Todd about the conversation she had with her family. She's just gotten back from this old lady fight. She's telling Todd everything, which mistake, why would you do that? Haven't you learned to not go tell Todd that his whole family, that your whole family hates him? Come on. She's like, see now, really? Things that we've been norming and all the families up. But I'm like, see, we was there at that barbecue, but she's like, no, I don't think so. See now, me, right? Where's Riley right now? Can we? Yeah. Mama said that she thinks since we got married. Got taller hair. He's like, taller hair. Much taller hair. They don't like it, honey. He's like, babe, babe, I, like, I don't know why she's saying those things, babe, because my hair is taller. But I'm also a taller guy. And the fact that she can't believe that I'm taller makes me not feel like I'm part of the family now, babe. You have a new family, babe. Babe, if you're talking about me being taller, babe, you got to let me in on that conversation, because otherwise I'm going to feel shorter. And that's like, you don't want your husband to feel shorter, especially if you weren't a bonnet today. And then we get to the assistance being mean to the new assistant. And they're like, they ain't nobody going to go fly fishing. And he's like, that is racist. Well, I like how awesome he is. I see how he's annoying, by the way. Like he is admittedly annoying because he's sort of like, he's just a little out there. But he is doing his job. And he is like, all I did was saying, OK, well, we have some other ideas. Like maybe you want to go fly fishing. They're like, fly fishing. And then he's like, yeah, that feels racist. But he's doing his job. He's doing fine. So they basically just shade him out of there. And then he's like, thanks for not inviting me for a drink. They're like, bye. And I was like, you want to make granola organic granola cucumber fine. You do the shopping then. I'm not even going to do it. So he goes and does the shopping. And then it turns into drama because that family went through two whole Costco-sized bags of them. Because you know, that's what they were. When they were like, who buys two packages of bacon for 12 people? I'm like, most normal people. Yeah. Actually, there are a lot of things going wrong because Mama Joyce is cooking that bacon. And she was like, she didn't even bother separating it out. She was cooking it like a big slab of meat. She was like, Mama Joyce, you bacon? If it is, and I've been mistaken for many years. It's all glott together. So she's trying to make the, what's that? All the ants were very scared because apparently Mama Joyce does not do the cooking. That's Bertha's job. I think we agree. Bertha and Nora do the cooking, but Mama Joyce. Mama Joyce, this whole scene Mama Joyce was just faking it. She's trying to have that smile, which just looks like a put on Joker smile. It looks like somebody is literally taping their mouth back to smile, this little pointy smile. And she's like, oh, I'll cook a breakfast candy. And so she's making breakfast. And she's just being so passive aggressive. You know, it's like, well, I love waffles. But one time a waffle dated a pancake against my will and no one had that waffle. It's like, OK, we get it, all right. You're not fooling anybody, lady. She's like, at least the waffles listen to me and pay me. Give me a call and come visit me once in a while. Oh, so Carmen gets in trouble. She's like, well, why are you complaining about all the meat being gone? Who did the shopping? Not me. You know, that's the point, right? Yeah. She was supposed to do the shopping. Well, it backfired on her because she did the past aggressive thing, which is like, you know what? Like, I'm not going to take part. She basically wanted Matthew to mess up. It was classic apprentice, you know, like on the apprentice when someone backs out of a challenge, essentially to make the other person hang themselves. So Matthew, of course, he doesn't buy the right things. But instead of Matthew getting the heat, everyone gets mad at Carmen. They're like, well, see, that's your job now to get the bacon. So see, Carmen, just giving. And then you see a genuine smile from Alma Joyce because she's getting what she wants. And she's like, Carmen gets paid for doing nothing. I mean, that sounds like a good job. Why don't you pay me to do nothing? You know that Candy does pay you to do nothing, right? Did you forget that part of your life, you fucking idiot? One was your last job complaining about houses that were bought for you. Yeah, exactly. By the way, it's funny, though, how in the long in the long run, Mama Joyce is getting her way because Carmen Todd got a bad at it last season on Atlanta, and now Carmen's getting a bad one. So Mama Joyce is coming out on top. Yeah, Mama Joyce scared some editors, that's for sure. Yeah, she's like, I saw what you did to me. That is right. That is wrong editor. She walked in with a stiletto and she's like, you better hit me right. So Todd, they skate boring. So Todd goes to a bar with his uncles or cousins or whoever the hell everybody is. Oh, wait, before they even do that, before they even do that, while everyone's skiing, Matthew takes the old ladies shopping. They go to you. Oh, that was funny. Like, Keptler's store. And first of all, they're like, you know, they're like, well, we would have thought that Carmen would have taken us shopping. It seems you're into Matthew would have, but okay. And they seem like they're actually having a fun time with Matthew. And I love when Bertha was listening to stores that she goes to. All she was doing was listening, which is like, I don't have a shop at handboy stores. I shop at Marshall's. Shoe carnival. Shoe carnival is my favorite. Colorfuls, whatever that is. And she's like, I'm-- Burlington? Burlington? I was like, oh, there it is, Macy's. Yeah, and they're like, oh, yeah, Macy's. That is our favorite. Oh, yeah, Macy's. Oh, Macy's on that. So then there's-- I'm just mentioning this scene only as evidence building for later on. So that Matt did this with the old ladies. So then, yeah, so then Todd goes drinking, drinking with the fellas. Yeah, so mama Joyce in the store is like being nice to the lesbian aunt. I mean, I'm assuming she was lit. No, no, she's married to somebody. Yeah, marriage toads like a uncle, I think. Which is kind of funny too because it was interesting seeing them interact because you could sort of see that this aunt way more educated, you know, way more well off than these ladies. So it's sort of funny watching in a very subtle way. It wasn't harped on at all, but you could just sort of see it. Mama Joyce kissing her ass. She's like, I've been shopping. I've got two pairs of pajamas for my children because I have two grandchildren now. And I want you to know that my second non-grandchild is still my grandchild. And I know you've heard a lot of bad things about me, but I hope that you'll let me call you a whore and then you can hate me. Don't hate me because I call some dead person a whore. Okay, honey. And lesbian's like, mm-hmm. Okay, sounds good. Can't wait to get on with this. Yeah. Exactly. So then the men in Todd's family are like, that weenie's a bully. I've seen bullies before, and weenie is it. And the thing missing from, and then Todd's like, the thing missing is a man. Like, yeah, all these old ladies, all they really need is a man to keep them in line. Get out of here, you little fucking midget. Shut up. Yeah, exactly. And Todd is the man to do that job. As he said, Todd is the man. Yeah, let's cut to Todd, like, crying about having to sign a preen up for three weeks and then signing it like a little pussy. I can complain even though Candy is his paycheck. Like, regardless of what Todd Tucker Productions there may be out there, Candy is the paycheck. Let's just be real about that. Yeah, your productions would get you a nicer studio apartment in Hollywood, but it would still be a studio apartment in Hollywood. Do not front, okay? That's a good Heather. I'm using some Heather terminology. Holla, hey, stop putting Todd out on the front street. Three circles and a snap. Okay, Todd, holla. So then anyway, so they end up all having a meal together. And the- No, no, no, before them. Oh, no, they had a game night. Yeah, they do game night first. Oh, God. So what happens is they're all doing game night. They're having fun and Todd comes back from the bar, feeling like he has to exert his manliness. And that's when he goes after Weenie. He's like, see, he's like, I don't think it's appropriate for, you know, you to be coming after Candy and saying that we're not involved. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So then Weenie gets all, you know, riled up. Riled up. And yeah, I mean, he's like, I can't believe you would bring this up on that day that Matthew didn't bring enough bacon. That is disrespectful right there. That is disrespectful. And he's like, well, I'm just trying to say, you know, you guys, you guys talk about me and then, and then you get defensive. Oh, I'm defensive. You're defensive. You're defensive. He's like, I'm calm and then mama joys. Wait a minute. Eight a minute. Now. You are defensive. Calm. Like, thank you for quieting the room to say that. You fucking stupid mama joys. Well, she was actually right. She was right because she changes the subject. She's like, you are calm, defensive. But that is still defensive. You want to know what I saw? I saw that man right there. And I'm thinking the one who just called Weenie a bully behind her back. You don't know that yet. So I'll just let you carry on. It's like that man came into this house. And the first thing he did was kiss his wife. The first thing you did was go to the kitchen. I had to say, I actually felt like mama joys was on point. Because, you know, I actually felt that when Weenie was telling Todd, like, you know, stop being so defensive. He's like, I'm not being defensive. I'm calm. I was like, you can still be calm and defensive. And mama joys is like, you know, defensive calm. I was like, yes. Thank you, mama joys. And when she said that thing about the dad, she kind of was right. I mean, you know, I get it. I mean, of course, it's not even the discussion. You're not getting it from kiss your wife. But yeah, but she's taking, you know, she's taking an argument about the family talking shit about him and trying to get candy to whatever. She's taking like a real family conversation. And then in front of everybody turning it into, you're not even a good husband to my daughter because you didn't kiss her. I mean, she's a horrible human being. And that's what he's talking about. He's like, why the hell? And I'm sticking it for Todd, which is really sad, which means I'm not watching a show. There's no way to stand up for anyone and come out of winter. But yeah, you know, Todd doesn't need to deal with that shit. It's like, most husbands would be like that. Yeah, that's right. You're not spending as much time with your family because they're toxic cunts. And I don't want them feeling your head with terrible things about me. And we're moving to a different city, bitch. Bye. Roni, you said the C word. Nah, fuck it. You know, I think we're talking about Mama Joyce. It comes in handy. Oh. And since some rules are meant to be broken, like the little cunts they are turning. Roni, you abandoned your post. You abandoned your C word posts. OK, so then, but then they eventually like had then they sort of like reach a truce. And then they go on the snowmobile, whatever, and they get to dinner. It's like the next day, right? And yeah, I'm in the buffet guy in line. I don't know why this is what I write down out of that whole dinner. But the buffet guy was cracking me up because he's like, OK, everybody, welcome to a buffet. Here's what you do. Yeah, get a plate. And then you stand in a line. And then you get food. They're in these large containers. Just get some food, get what you'd like. And then get a napkin and some silverware, and then sit back down in your seats. I think they know what a buffet is, OK? Yeah. Tourists have buffets in their hometowns too, darling, that's called hometown buffets. Darling, Chef Penny, here's what we're going to do, OK? We're going to open up a buffet, all right? But we're going to make it look very old, all right? But and also from the country, we call it old country buffet. Get to a penny right now. Oh, pay me. I'll tell you every safer. I'll tell you every day, darling. I'll tell you. Let's make pigs in a blanket, but call them something else, like pigs in a blanket. All right, put it on the menu, darling. Colorado, here we come, darling. Get the chair for going. So then it becomes, now it becomes a public assistant fight because the assistants are openly mocking Matthew for bringing... Yeah, he brings like a little sort of like toothpick type of thing. You know that thing? There are almost like little mini-floss things that you put in your teeth. Yeah, it's like, hey, guys. OK, did you enjoy that barbecue I had set up? Well, all the assistants set it up because we all love you equally, right, other assistants? So we set this up for you, and we also thought to bring you little baby toothbrushes. Just put them in your mouth and brush your teeth, like you're normally brushing your teeth. It's going to be so fun. And the answer like, hey, get on my nerve. Matthew, nice, but I'll kill that bitch. [LAUGHTER] So the assistants openly start mocking him again. They're like, oh, look at you assisting. Oh, look at you doing things for your client. Yeah, I think you're so great about getting her things. Oh, you want to write something down, Matthew? You want to write something down? And Riley is fuming. You can tell because she's talking really, really loudly. Yeah, she's talking louder and slower than usual. And Candy's like, Riley, what's your deal? And she's like, no, Riley, what's going on down there? That's probably your table, Riley. Riley's like, well, it's just that, you know, Matthew is doing a really good job as an assistant, but then you have two assistants who are supposed to be doing what he is doing, and they are not doing anything, and they are haters. Yeah, that was amazing. And the entire table just busted out laughing. It was amazing. And then Carmen and Don Juan were sitting there like, because they can't say anything, because the boss's daughter just called them out. They just, though, they roll their eyes. Well, you don't know, but it's like being a general manager of Candy Productions. I do a lot of things. I do a lot of things other than carrying around a bag full of dental floss. Yes, but you do it with food in your teeth. And that's the point we can all learn from each other, Don Juan. And then it comes to Assistant Fight, where they get alone with each other, and they start yap, yap, yapping about how mean Candy is. And Don Juan can't believe Candy is not going to stick up for them. And then they start telling off Candy, and then where is Don Juan? No, we're not going to help Carmen at all. Yeah, we're because like, yeah, because Candy is candy. And Candy is kind of like, well, you know, I kind of agreed, you know. She's like, honestly, you haven't been the best assistant to me in the world. But, and then Carmen, of course, showing why she's not the best assistant, she's like, all right, fine, you want me, I'll carry a bag. If you want me to carry a bag, I'll carry a bag, which is such a like passive, aggressive way to respond to your boss, you know. And then Candy is like, no, the issue is not that you don't have a bag. The issue is that you don't anticipate things. You don't anticipate and not to get on top of you. And then she gives up, Candy starts giving you examples, and then Carmen is totally busted. And then Candy, you know, she, she puts, she gets Don Juan too, because in the sense that Don Juan can't stand up for, for, for Carmen, because Candy points a situation where Don Juan has clearly complained about Carmen to Candy. So now Don Juan is in a position where he's like, yeah, well, yeah, you didn't do that thing that you were supposed to, you know. And it was great. It's a hard bitch. Yeah, well, it was great because it's like, that's like when, this is why Candy, I think, is so successful because I think she is on top of her shit, and she's on top of her assistance. And as much as she seems like she sometimes is out of control of the situation, she very much is. And she knows what she wants out of people. Which is why we all love Candy. Yeah. She's like, other assistants anticipate things. You know, my friends, they wake up and their assistant has all their stuff done that they would want. They didn't have to ask for it. I mean, it would be nice one day if I just woke up and there was like, enough bacon, you know, or like a platform for Todd to get out of bed in. So he's not falling every morning, you know, like, anticipate, anticipate, darling, you know, maybe some clippers in the bathroom for Todd. Yeah. Height hair. So that's enough of that, man. What's an ex-show bin? What else? Blood, sweat, and heels, blood, sweat, blood, sweat. Blood, sweat, and caps, darling. Fun episode. So the girls are in the Hamptons, which is always bad news. Bad news. For the Hamptons. For the Hamptons and the girls. For everyone involved. So, um, I think the episode opened with, like, they're all sleeping. And Demetria is like sitting at her, at a table, being like, "Melissa! Melissa!" I'm like, "Girl, everyone's sleeping. Why don't you just go and find her? Like, why are you yelling throughout the house?" This is not the first time she yells about the house. She later does it. Because, Ben, it's her wedding and it's a big deal, Ben. It's a big deal. My wedding, like, normally I don't like weddings, but it's a big deal. It's a big, big deal. I am so fucking sick of Demetria. Going along with this foe, like, "Oh, I don't really care. It's just a wedding. Let's just, like, get some flowers. And let's say I get a dress, and let's just have a wedding. Let's just celebrate. I just want, like, 50 people that call it 'til in the morning. Like, don't act like you're so over it. You love it. And even when she says later on, like, okay, so it turns out I love it. Like, I'm really loving this. Like, who would have thought? I'm, like, having a moment. I never would have thought. Like, you did know you would think. You knew you would have a moment. So just stop with this whole thing. Like, you know, you're having a moment of vulnerability, and that kind of makes you special. Like, just shut up, Demetria. She's like, "Look at me. I'm like a real girl. I'm like a real girl now." So, Demetria, basically, she has a photo shoot. Like, a magazine wants to do a photo shoot with her at a castle somewhere in Long Island. And so she takes Melissa with her to the castle to help. And this is, it's a big deal. It's a big deal because it's like a big magazine, a big castle. But it's an even bigger deal to Geneva. Because Geneva's already on the shit list with Greg, Demetria's fiance. And Geneva would have thought that for sure she would have been brought to the castle to help out, but she wasn't. She didn't even know about it. I love this shock. I love, I love Geneva's shock. Like, when you're an asshole and then you're surprised when they're an asshole, why? Why are you surprised? Like, before she was an asshole to everybody but you. But now you're the one, she's being an asshole to you. Sorry, that's what you deserve. Because you're friends with a fucking asshole. Nobody can be friends with Demetria as herself as she is. And be surprised when she's a con. Well, I goddamn it. See, now it's a habit. It's a habit I need to quit. You know, it happens. You have one drink and then forget it. But I love when Geneva said, "I don't like this. I don't like this one bit. One minute I'm invited and then the next minute I'm not." I feel like an outlaw. I'm like, "No, Jesse James." You're not an outlaw, okay? You're an outcast. I'm an outlaw. You have done nothing outlawish. All right, except for that whole punching the cop or whatever you did in your orange plastic cone jacket. Listen, Bonnie, you sound really worked up about it. Why don't you just put your feet up and decompose for a little bit? Geneva English. Yeah, well, the funny thing was that since Geneva was not invited on this photo shoot, she then spent so much energy letting the world know. Like she had her girlfriend call up, her friend V. She's like, "Yeah, would you believe it? To me, sure, they just left. They just left without me. Like, I would have actually been calling everybody." She called her mom. She's like, "Mom, you wouldn't believe what she did to me. I mean, here I am looking like a damn fool." And her mom's like, "Well, what are you wearing right now? I'm in pajamas, but don't worry, the rope doesn't match. It's totally clashing." Oh, you're still you, baby. That's all that matters. That's all that matters. You're still you. She's like, "That's all my mom. I got to go put an update on the Geneva News Daily website right now. Big red headline. Geneva, not invited to photo shoot." The Trader Joe's flyer. What is that called? Yeah, like the month, whatever it is called. I've got to put an ad on sale also to Meetra is a bitch. I have to write an editorial in the penny saver. Excuse me. What about, what about what's your buttons? Demetrius saying, "My mom's here." And you know, my mom, I really respect her. She's a feminist. She's a true feminist. And her whole life, she's been fighting for feminist rights. And the biggest news, it wasn't about self-publishing a book of blogs that I copy and paste it from the internet. And it wasn't about finding a sexist guy to date. She's excited about me getting married. I'm really trying to get that one figured out. Is it against feminist policy now to be happy when your daughter gets married? Yeah, exactly, exactly. You know, her mom was very cute, although I have to say, I was so distracted by her hair because it was like a short, it's like a little bob on the left and then it was like long on the right. It was like a very strange asymmetrical situation. And I could not figure it out the life of me. I'm like, "I don't want to shade this woman, but this haircut is really very strange to me." Well, look, I know it's not right to just not like parents because of their children's actions, but you know, you can't hate the apple and love the tree. You know what I mean? Like the tree. Yeah, but I haven't seen enough of the tree to hate the tree. So I'm going to love the tree until I learn to hate the tree. So right now, sometimes apples go rotten. You know what? And sometimes apples go rotten and the tree is still standing. So there you go. I've just ruined my own. That's right. That's why there's a thing called bad apples. And that's why if you're going to go apple picking, you should just take the apples that are in the lobby and not even bother with the orchard. Yeah. Well, who can blame them? They're going on some field trip to someone else's plan that they didn't even want to go on. So now this is something that I can actually see why the girls were annoyed because while Melissa is off with Demetria, these girls, the rest of the girls, they have a plan to go apple picking. And we should mention that Arzo and Shanti, they bury the hatchet, so everything's okay with them. And then so they go apple picking, but this is one of them. That was a very funny conversation. Yeah. I was like, "Look, here's the deal. We're in the same group of friends, and I think it's really horrible that I hurt your feelings, and I would just like to say that I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, and I'm sorry." You're going on Shanti. And that's all I can do now. And Arzo's like, "Yeah, well, I mean, I'm like, okay then." I mean, I got that sincere. So thank you. Thanks for apologizing. Well, thanks. You know, I know you didn't have any balance. So, you know, let's just move on. I'm really good at moving on. That's why I date someone named yesterday, because I like to leave yesterday in the past, because he doesn't have money yet. So I want to leave our Afghan account comments in the past. Thanks, Sanmarzo. When I'm ready, I'll find a man named Future. But until now, it's yesterday, okay? No one wants to be in the present. Exactly. A Future spelled F-E-W-T-U-R-E, okay? Thanks, Sanmarzo. So, but anyway, so the women go to apple picking, and this is Melissa's event, and Melissa's not there, and that is kind of fucked up. Actually, it's like, I think it's totally fucked up, because, you know, I'm sure if these women had their druthers, they probably did not want to go apple picking, although I would have, I don't think they would have wanted to, but they have to because Melissa arranged it, but Melissa's not even there, so that's fucked up. And on top of that, Daisy's having issues, because previously on Blood So and Heels, when Daisy was telling you, these are she's sharing, and then Demetria, and Arzo, and Melissa were kind of like snickering in the corner. To be fair, I didn't think it was that bad that they were doing it because they were all drunk, and they've heard it before, so, or some of them. They weren't making cancer jokes. They were just, they weren't part of, I don't know. I can understand what, no, they weren't. I can understand why Daisy was upset, but I can also understand why they thought that it was okay to do that. Yeah, but Daisy, it's too much, Daisy, too much, Daisy. I think she was, I don't think you can tell everybody how much you don't want to talk about your cancer, don't want to talk about your cancer, and then, oh, you want to talk about it as your cancer. You know, it's almost like people who are in the closet, and then they come out, and then everything they say is about having a dick in their mouth. Like, we get it, we don't care, you know? Well, I guess, I guess what Daisy's point was, I don't want to talk about it, I don't want to talk about it, but now, okay, I'm going to talk about it, so, like, let me have my moment. I guess I can sort of understand that. And I guess I can understand why she's mad, because Demetria Arzo, and, well, not Melissa, but Demetia and Arzo really hadn't talked to her about it. They didn't know anything about it, so that's why it may have seemed a little colder. Yeah, but she's too much. She should just say, why don't you guys stop laughing while I'm talking, like, I'm talking about cancer, and you're in a corner laughing. Like, why is it two days later, or whatever? And she's like, and then Demetia doesn't even care, or, I mean, I have cancer, and they're over there laughing, and she's offering to cut me a strawberry. I mean, that's so rude. Blubber blubber. Blubber blubber. Blubber blubber blubber. And then the ladies come back, and she's just, like, pretending nothing happened. She's like, hi, how are you guys? Did you have fun? I give Daisy a little bit of a break on that, because she's talking about, it's only the next day that she was talking about it. And I think that as she was addressing Arzo, because she was the only one that was there, and I think she actually addressed Arzo in a very mature way. And I think that, but as she started to talk about it, I think the emotions started to, like, well up in her. I think she was sort of-- And also, Arzo wasn't helping, because she wasn't agreeing with her, you know? Arzo was like, well, I mean, like, how much can people talk about cancer? Like, it gets boring, you know what I mean? Like, cancer is like, it's not like you just got it. Like, it's old now. Like, you have old cancer. It's not a new disease. Well, you know, Arzo was like, oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize I just thought that since you don't-- Since he's sort of saying that you don't like to talk about cancer, I thought that you didn't want to talk about cancer, based on what you said. So therefore, you weren't paying attention. I'm sorry, girl. I just thought you were making a beeline for something else. Sorry. But I was literally talking about cancer. I said cancer 20 times. And Arzo's like, yeah, we didn't hear you, because that's like old news, and we were talking about new stuff. Like, have you heard of Ebola? Have you heard that you can get Ebola from an apple? Yeah, they're all like, don't touch the apple. There's Ebola, Ebola, Ebola. You want Geneva, all of a sudden, who had spent the morning, like, erecting billboards about the fact she wasn't invited to put her shoe. Then suddenly was defending Demetra. She's like, no, you know, Demetra's like, she cares. She cares in her own weird way. Like, let me talk. Let me talk. Let me talk. And she's like, no, it's not right. It's not right at all. She's a bully. She's a big fat bully with big hair. It's not right at all. She's an Afghan hound, too. It's like, stop sticking up for her. It's ridiculous. She's a giant bully. I mean, she's wearing ruffles for Christ's sake, darling, ruffles. Yeah, Demetra does have something with ruffles. I like that she says things like, I'm not, you know, Shanti is saying you don't have to treat her like she's the queen. And then meanwhile, Demetra is really in a castle. Like, she's literally in a castle wearing like Princess Elizabeth ruffles. I loved all of that stuff. I loved all, I don't know why I love Demetra in a castle so much. I just thought it was so funny. I was excited about the wedding because like, like weddings are like fashion statements or everybody's like wearing crop top dresses and like trying to look all hot. And I don't care, you know, like, I just wanted a wedding where I could feel thin again. So I came back to the time of Botticelli and we're not getting married in castle. And I'm the thin president town. It's a big deal. It's just like, they're like taking photo. They're like holding up my dress behind me. Like, this is crazy. Like, is this my life? This is, this is so crazy. And they're taking pictures. Like, this is what they do on photo shoots. They take pictures. Like, this is crazy. I'm like so self-conscious right now. Like, I don't feel pretty right now. Even though everyone's telling me I'm pretty like, this is crazy. It's a big deal. I'm getting married. It's crazy. I'm beautiful. I'm beautiful. Big. Wow. This is a big, whoa. Did you see me walk in the grass without my shoes? I walked in the grass without my shoes. I mean, it's a big deal, you guys. Huge. I'm going to talk about this. You kind of like it. Like, I'm just like, I'm just realizing this is like my wedding. This is like an amazing day. This is probably one of the best days in mankind. Like, it's a big deal. I'm self-publishing a new book this weekend. It's called Big Deal. And you open it and it just says big deal. Because it's a big deal. It's a big deal. I publish two words. So then, so after all the venting in the apple orchard or whatever. So then they all go to dinner at Amund. And so they get there. And then everyone is all smiles and happy and yada, yada, yada. And then I believe it starts with Shanti telling Dimitri that she deserves an apology for Greg kicking her out of the Q&A from a few episodes ago. And Dimitri is like, I think you owe me an apology. And Dimitri is like, why? He's just looking at her like, bitch, really? Now, and then Shanti was like, did come for her. Yeah, Shanti was like, my brother works in a yogurt factory. Okay, I keep it real. She was like, she's like, everyone was making noise. I don't know why you single me out. And then they show a flashback of her being like, wasted me like, Michael, Michael, Michael. And Dimitri is responsible. I should have kicked all your asses out then, if you were like that. It's a big deal. It's a big deal. I was in a castle. Okay. You were at a Q&A of someone who went to a castle. So this huge fight starting in Orza is like, what do you guys kind of? I want to order a side of fries, but my parents will be disappointed. So nobody tell them. Okay. Whenever we go to a restaurant yesterday, always have to order a grilled cheese or chicken fingers because he eats exclusively off the children's menu. It's adorable. I'm feeling homesick right now because nobody like we're fighting and nobody is coloring on their menu. Like, guys, I have a question. What are we supposed to do while we wait for our food? I want to play of a maze, but there's no mazes here for me to draw through. Guys, what ever happened to tic-tac-toe, am I right? Meanwhile, it's like shawty. It's like, you're a bitch and Dimitri is like, you're all horrible. And then Dimitri, Dimitri is so holier than now. And I love when she fights and pretends she pretends the cheese like Shakespeare. She's like, thou shalt not. And that was out of bounds. Thou shalt not speak to me like that. I was in a castle all day. Thou shalt not raise the drawbridge, raise it. You are no longer invited to order dinner at this restaurant. I know. Well, Dimitri was like, Dimitri was like, honey, you are reaching, you are reaching and your arms are not long enough. And then, Shanti's like, well, you're wide enough. I forget what she said. She's like, well, this isn't small enough. Your waist isn't small, your waist is too big or something too, isn't small enough. She actually had like a pretty awesome response. It was natural. She's like, you have two wrecks arms. Well, you're fat. The end. And then they're like, that is disrespectful to the woman. Would say that to another woman. Yeah, that's only it became like, that was a personal attack. Yadda yadda yadda. And then Melissa, I think Melissa chimed in at one point. Like anyone wants to hear about Melissa. And Shanti's like, look, I'm just defending my friend. I think it's shitty that you were, you know, you want, that you're willing to disinvite Geneva when, you know, like you guys are so close. And that was actually, I agree with Chantal. I mean, no, no, Ben, that was the dumbest point. She's like, no, I mean, I was at your event talking and you didn't like that. But then you have no problem talking during someone's cancer story. And it's like, those are two different things. One is a public event and one is a living room where people are just sitting around talking. And true, although it's not, I mean, in time, it's like, I mean, yes, I get 100% what you're saying, but there is that element of like, it's one thing, like everyone has to be quiet for Demetria. And yet now when, when, when Daisy is sharing something a lot more personal and that's a lot scarier, that Demetria doesn't have to pay attention. You know, I don't think that I do get that. I don't think that to me, they don't have anything to do with each other. It's just Chantal bringing someone else's cancer up to use against somebody else in a fight. I'm not saying this was a good fight for Chantal's argument. I'm not saying what Chantal was arguing about had nothing to do with anything. But to get to the point about Demetria disinviting Geneva, I think that is bullshit. Like, I think it's like, if you're going to let that cause you to be, you're going to let that get in the way of of someone attending your wedding, then that is bullshit. I'm sorry. Yeah, I agree. Yeah, it is. She's, she's bullshit. And I also like calling her out because I hate how she acts. Whenever somebody asks her about something, she always becomes such an ice bitch. It's like, why do you need to do that? Like, I get that you self published a book or two, babe. But saying thou shall does not make you smarter than everybody else. This other bitch owns her own business. You're not talking to some moron, you know? And then they get home and then they get home. And first of all, Melissa's like, guys, it's so dirty in here. Well, bitch, you should have been home to clean it up. But then Demetria, like upstairs, like, all right, I'm going home. I'm going home. This isn't fun for me anymore. This isn't fun. This is like, I've literally put on a quilt because it's so chilly in here. I have quilted a jacket. And I'm like, what are you wearing my Meemaw's quilt? Like, it looks like she robbed the cracker barrel and then packed her bags. She's like, literally, literally, this isn't fun for me anymore. Like, I'm not going to be here if it's not fun for me. So I'm going to go home. So it's not fun. So Geneva, I'm going to go right now. So then Geneva, which is, by the way, also, such as-- you know, it wasn't-- I can't even get into it. Geneva, you're-- I mean, Demetria, you're the reason why it's mostly not fun. Even if Chantal started with you, you're really the reason. And I kind of like that-- even though Chantal, a lot of times her arguments are very self-serving, as most arguments are. But even though she's kind of like annoying, I kind of like that she was going after Demetria. You know? I do too. Yeah, I do too. So anyway, then Geneva's like, listen, I want you to know that Daisy was feeling kind of hurt because she was sharing and you were-- you know, she didn't realize that when you're talking about strawberries, that that was actually a sincere moment from you. And she was feeling hurt. So what does Demetria do? Instead of Demetria-- Daisy, get in here and bring your cancer with you. Instead of Demetria being like, oh my god, I feel terrible. She's like, Daisy, she just screams it. Like, everyone has to stop. Like, Daisy has to come to her. You know, just that action alone really got under my skin. Like, you were-- like, why don't you go to her? If you know that someone's feeling bad, like, you go to them. Either way, Daisy came. Yeah, she's like, I'm not walking to anybody. I've already been called fat today. The cancer lady can walk to me, all right? Yeah, as proof that I'm not fat, I will not move. So then Daisy comes and Daisy explains again. She's like, I just kind of felt like, you know, like you were making comments. And it just felt like you-- like, of everyone, like, you never even said to me, like, anything. Like, oh my god, I'm sorry to hear this, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And rather than Demetria saying, you know, it was a misunderstanding, I thought that like, I didn't want to like, say something when I wasn't invited to say something or yadda, yadda, yadda. Instead, Demetria is like, fuck you, essentially. She gets super defensive. Yeah, it became-- This is like a Kim Richards argument in a way, even though Demetria never drinks. But she totally had Kim Richards argument where it's not her action, it's everybody else's reaction. She was like, well, I can't believe that you would disparage me like that and tell people that I'm someone who's heartless about cancer. You know, who does that? Some people came about Demetria. Those two other people, especially on a day where they're planning for a really big deal, you know, I was in a castle to date and Melissa was teaching me how to pose. And Melissa's like, yeah, I had her like touching her toes and like flicking her click on the camera. Like a real model would do. Don't ruin this day. Like, why are you bringing Melissa to help you model? I'm sorry, I can't let that thing go. But yeah, Demetria is awful. She's really, really bothered me that she turned it like that and that she was so unsympathetic. I mean, it's crazy. And even Geneva, I was surprised that by the end of the day, Geneva was pretty like buddy buddy with Demetria about the thing. But you're nice to the one you're afraid of. That's why we're always at war in this country. We just want people to like us. Do you know, do you understand that? And it also proved your point because the moment that Demetria really got hit hard by Shanti, of course, she's like, I'm going to leave. I mean, leaving in tears, essentially, even though she wasn't crying. Yeah. It's not bullet by dull by dull. Yeah, I mean, look, Daisy gets on my nerves and I think she was really overreacting and expecting a little too much from someone wearing a quilt jacket on purpose as an adult. But at the same time, I love Daisy because the girl. The girl was praying in a turban and a wig. Okay, it wasn't like a cancer. It wasn't like a cancer turban or you're like, I'm hiding my chemo head, you know, which you have to get sometimes. It was like, I'm going to wear a wig and the turban. Yeah. Okay, let me give it. We did it. You have cancer. You have the most fabulous cancer that's ever been foam telling. Yeah, I think, you know, it's pretty easy to nitpick a Daisy situation and say, well, she didn't want to talk about cancer now. All of a sudden she wants to talk about it. And you know, well, you know, she didn't bother even telling Demetria bad. And now she expected Demetria to do this and that. That's all those are all valid points. But I think at the end of the day, I can also respect that Daisy is probably an emotional wreck on the inside of her head. She's tired, yeah. She's gone through a lot. And I think that like she's feeling very sensitive and it kind of all caught up with her. And the point is if Demetria wasn't compassionate when she needed to have been and she's told, hey, you know what? I just want a little more compassion. I just want like, if that was your way of showing compassion, I didn't feel it. I'm not getting it. Then, you know, then she could have responded. She could have done at least what Melissa did. At least Melissa when at the end of the episode when Daisy said to Melissa, look, you know, you don't come. You don't ever come with me to any of my treatments. You don't do this or that. And she kind of called out Melissa. Melissa didn't get mad at Daisy. Melissa was like, OK, I'm going to make an effort. I'm going to change. That's how you that's how you respond in those situations. As annoying as Melissa is, she responded the correct way in my in my estimation. Yeah, I think so. But you know what? I mean, if we're going to understand Daisy getting emotional because she has cancer and stuff and that's her. That's a disease and I get it. Like that's super that makes sense, you know. But we have to understand that Demetria has a disease too. And you know, she smiled that day earlier. She actually smiled like two times and she's exhausted and she needs to lay down. It's a big deal. She was at a castle like deal. The wedding, like she doesn't really care about this wedding. But by the way, she's just going to go to a photo shoot at a castle. That's all. And by the way, she just and by the way, she's acting like she doesn't care about this wedding at all. Like those photo shoots don't just come out of thin air. It's not like someone just finds and was like, oh, by the way, we hear your bride. You know, the reason why they they they want to shoot her is she probably emailed them. It was like, by the way, I'm getting married. Can we do a photo shoot? Like let's let's not ignore how that photo shoot came around. It's not like the people at this magazine were scouring the registries at Target. Yeah, you know, she sent out a group email to everyone like, I just tweeted you retweet it. Retweet it. Okay. Because you know, that's how every episode is something like, oh my god, like these people want to make me a cake. That's amazing. Oh my god, these people want to do this for me. Oh my god, these people want to do this for me. Like that doesn't just happen. Sure, Bravo probably has a hand in it and Bravo probably got pulled some strings. But we all know that to me. Well, I think you get free shit for being on Bravo, but I think a lot of it, they actually do pull those strings themselves. No, I'm sure. But I'm saying that I'm sure Bravo was like, okay, we need a scene with a cake tasting. Let's reach out to cake tasers and say who would be willing to get free cake if we can shoot in their store. Blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm sure that. I still want the scene of Dimitri in the Wendy's asking for free cake to taste. Because you know, that's a half. Dimitri is going into every fucking place in town asking for a bite of cake. And by the way, more power to her. That's one thing I can get behind. Cake tasting. It's like, do you hear me, Wendy's? It's a big deal. No, sorry, ma'am. Please get out of the drive through. I am freaking out over the previous wedding. Greg is not going to be friends with you anymore. You are not invited to our wedding, Wendy's. I'm freaking out, bitches. Yeah. So that brings us to the end of a nice hour and a half episode about all things milk and blood, sweat, heels, cancer. You know what I mean? Got it all, mama Joyce. Yeah, we really do. And then on Thursday, I believe we will be talking about Real Housewives of New York. We'll be talking about my latest book, which just happened. We'll be talking about Southern Charm, Shaw's finale. And we'll probably cover some of that Kim Richards gossip, which is that she's back. We've got a lot this week, actually. I think Secrets and Wives starts tonight, doesn't it? Does it really, Ronnie? Oh, I think so, Ben. They just dated a little time to a sketch. I think you're right. I bet I better record that. Yeah, me too, actually. I'm going to the tvguy.com right now, which you all should go to get a beauty box. Thanks everybody so much for listening to this podcast. You can find us on Facebook at facebook.com/watchwatchwatchcrapins to talk shit with other listeners throughout the week. Come support us over on patreon.com. That's patreon.com/watchwatchcrapins. If you want to subscribe to this podcast, there's a Patreon. You'll get bonus episodes and ringers and all that stuff. Stuff that I told you about before that you might have fast forwarded. Thank you everybody for being here. Thank you, Ben, for just being as lovely as that, right? Oh god, no need. And thanks to everybody who's listening to this right now. We love you all. Sorry for the seaweed. I'll get better next time. All right, so it's tomorrow. Thank you. Thank you. Bye everybody. Bye. If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the internet. The folks behind the sideshow network have launched a new YouTube channel called WaitForIt. It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza Schlesinger, slicing, driving friends with it for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there, and I still have a hard time with the last name, Liza. Our very own Owen Benjamin, that's me, takes you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes and much more. You don't have to wait any longer. Just go to youtube.com/waitforaccomedy. There's no need to wait for it anymore. Because it's here, and it's funny. And I love you. [Music] To the insurance company that's burned me, our time together has come to an end. It's not me, it's you. We both know what I'm talking about. 15 minutes ago, I began courting Geico. It was just the easiest thing I've done since buttering my biscuit at breakfast. Not only have I saved hundreds of dollars on my car insurance, but also the future tiers you were sure to impose. My heart and my coverage now belong to Geico. Sincerely, not yours, Tara, in Telluride. Geico, 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance. If you like Watch what Crapins, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at Wondery.com/survey. I'm Lindsey Graham, host of Wondery Show American Scandal. We bring to life some of the biggest controversies in US history, presidential lies, environmental disasters, corporate fraud. In our latest series, entrepreneur Lou Perlman becomes the mastermind behind two of the biggest pop groups in the world, the Backstreet Boys, and InSync. He also oversees a sprawling business empire that includes a charter jet company, restaurants, and real estate. But Perlman's successful facade crumbles after he sued by the boy bands for siphoning millions from them, and soon investigators discover that Perlman is keeping his empire afloat through an even more devious scheme. Follow American Scandal on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Experience all episodes ad-free and be the first to binge the newest seasons only on Wondery Plus. You can join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app, Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Start your free trial today.
