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Prescription required restrictions apply. When I'm not watching Bravo, I love to cook, and I know Ronnie does too, and in fact, I would subscribe to things like Bon Appétit, or Food and Wine, or all recipes if I could, if I had the space, but I don't have space in my apartment for like a million magazines. Well, luckily there is nextissue.com, which is kind of like the Netflix for magazines, but it's better because you can have access to all the latest issues. Next issue is the new newsstand. Nextissue.com has all the best, most up-to-date magazines on the newsstand, including those that I just mentioned, Bon Appétit, Food and Wine, and that's just the food category. Go to nextissue.com/crapins for your free trial. Next issue is convenient. All your favorite magazines anytime, anywhere. Eliminate the clutter on your coffee table or your nightstand. You have instant and unlimited access to current and back issues all in one place for one price. Plan start as low as $9.99, and one account can be shared with up to five people. That's like over 150 magazines. It's crazy, but guess what? You can get a 30-day free trial if you sign up today. No equipment. Cancel anytime. You can binge read all your favorite magazines in one place. Oh, and it's also an iPad and iPhones, whatever tablets you're going to use. So please, everyone, go to nextissue.com/crapins for your free trial. That's a $15 savings. This is a great deal, but it's only available if you go to nextissue.com/crapins. Sign up today. Watch what crap is. Watch what crap is. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is? Hey, everyone. Welcome to Watch what crap is. A podcast about all that crap on Bravo. We just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker from bsideblog.com and the banter blender podcast. And joining me, as always, is the funny, hilarious, cherubic and wonderful. Ronnie Karam from trashtalktv.com. Hello, everybody. Thanks, Ben. No problem, Ronnie. Ronnie is a wonderful person. I forgot I was going to say there. Doing over there. I don't know. I don't know what I was going to say, but what I do need to tell you all is if you go to Watch what Crapins.com, you can follow us on social media from all our social media links are there, like Instagram, etc. And then, of course, you can follow us on Facebook. Facebook.com/Watch what Crapins. Super fun. We are closing in on 4,000 likes. It's amazing. People are commenting left and right. It's like a little community over there. We plug it every week, but not without reason. It's a really good way to to enrich in your Watch what Crapins experience, you know, so go check that out right now. Yeah, read it, read it, read it. We have a lot of fun. Kristen will be back on Thunderpump rules, even though Lisa hates her and she no longer works at pump. Oh, God. I hope she doesn't do the Stasi thing where she's like, I'm seriously, I'm like over this place. Seriously, I've grown so much. I'm just here because Applebee is not me out early, so I'm just waiting for my my boyfriend. Seriously, dishwasher. Seriously when I'm here, it's not like family. Seriously. So yeah, there's fun stuff. Also, by the way, you'll notice on our Facebook page, I posted something on my blog because I played this board game this weekend called K2, where you like control little mountaineers and you go up the mountain and you try not to die. And I named one of my mountaineers, Kim Richards, and it occurred to me, Ronnie, that we have to like get like two other people and played like the K2 game with all real housewives and see which ones survive. You know, like they die. Do they die in an avalanche or they fall down the mountain or what? They run out of oxygen and then and then you kick that then they fall down the mountain. I mean, people climb mountains. Do they ever explain that in the game? I don't know because you know what? This is the closest that I'm gonna get. Okay, I am not climbing a mountain, but I presume you run out of oxygen and when you run out of oxygen, your body goes limp and then you go tumbling down the mountainside. So I mean, basically, yeah, basically, this is like shut up mountain the board game. So I think we should say it sounds perfect. Natural evolution is set up mountain. I say we send Jill's Aaron up shut up mountain and who I'll race or I can't be Jill's Aaron because I'll get her to the oxygen. You'll kill her and point immediately. You'll kill her on purpose. I'll just throw her off the mountain. Yeah, we will have to maybe we'll open it up. So listeners, you can make your suggestions on who should go to shut up mountain and then Ronnie and I will, uh, we'll simulate shut up mountain where they can be falling down the mountain like, but I didn't get to say happy birthday to Peter. So wrong that I can't. So wrong that I don't have enough oxygen. Oh, no, pull me truly a problem. Anyway, believe it or not, we're still plugging things. You can support us on patreon, patreon.com forward slash watch our crap ins, get access. If you support us, you get access to a bonus episode and we also are doing a live or monthly hangout this Thursday. That's in two days at 6 p.m. Pacific, 9 p.m. Eastern. It's really fun. All the details will be online. Yeah, we're gonna have some fun time. So, all right, let's get to some bravo. Let's get to some bravo. What would you like to start with Ben? Let's start with the real house as a mail bin. All right, let me get to that page. Wow. It was a surprise season finale. I was I did not realize that the season finale until all of a sudden the marriage of figure I started playing and then they're like Lydia is spending most of her free time walking down the street. I was like, wait, what? It's over? It's over. The 20 event season finale. They were like, we'll have a breakfast, a lunch, a dinner, a party, a ski trip, a Jesus Christ people. How do you even have time for all these events? I know it was out of control. Well, the main event is that Petifler Petifler was celebrating her 50th birthday. She's going to switch the bitch. For the record, I would like to add this episode, I feel like more than others. Petifler kept on saying the word bitch. She was really like, she's like, come on, bitches. I'll show you bitches. Hey, bitches. Let's get together, bitches. And not once did she snap. Not once. Not once terrible branding. Terrible branding. Well, she switched the bitch. She switched the snap to a slap and then she said switch the slap to a kiss for her. Her son. It's like the dumbest way to brand yourself using the word bitch because it's like saying, it's like branding yourself Coca Cola. Like you say Coca Cola a lot, but that does not mean you. It's like you're just making the word bitch more popular. Who cares? How is this helping women fucking moron? I know, I know. Let's start at the beginning, shall we? Because it was a dog rice. Oh, yes. This is my favorite part of the episode, I think. Petifler showed up in this hat that looks like, okay, one time I was really drunk. And this is when I had seen them, she was like 15 years old and she was just peeing all over the place. And she peed. And so like I cleaned it up with all these paper towels and I was drunk. And so I don't even have a garbage disposal. So I don't know why I did this, but I was shoving them down the drain of my sink in the kitchen. And it looked like that hat. It looked like paper towels sticking out of my kitchen sink when I'm drunk. Why? Why would I do that? Here's my hat, bitches. No snap. Look at my hat, bitches, I'm here to stop up any bitterness that comes out of you, bitch. You know what? You know, people didn't think I was going to wear a hat and I told them I wasn't, but then I wore a hat. It's sort of like a hat trick. That's gonna be the name of my new book, the hat trick. I came up with that term. Oh, that's me snapping the hat trick snap. This was a real hat trick. Yeah, 12 of it here, bitch. She was surprised when her dog didn't run. Didn't she like borrow that dog? Yeah, that's a thing. Yeah, she's so competitive. I mean, she, she didn't, she had like a dog named like Max. And she's like, well, I would make that dog run, you know, because she's Eddie expert, even on dog running, dog racing. But yeah, she didn't. That's not her dog. She tried making it come to her with a think thin bar or something. What are she doing? She's offering chocolate. I was like, you know that dogs can't eat chocolate, right? It's like, I did not win. I'm having it put down and made it into a bitch hat. My dog eats chocolate. No one can tell my dog. No, I just told the dog, switch the, switch the bitch in by bitch. I mean, your digestive system. You know how everybody, have you ever seen those articles where they say that people have dogs that look like them? Yeah, they show the picture of the dog and they actually do look exactly like, I wouldn't say that Janet's dog looked like her, but at least she named it properly because it's, she named it boy chick, which is hilarious. Oh, that's so cute. It's totally, that could be your drag name. Boy chick. It's, maybe wonder. I mean, that's like a, like, that's a very, like, yiddishy name for someone like. It's like an old yiddish, like a Mr. Mushnick phrase. Yeah, boy chick. Like, you would think that she would name her dog something like perfume, you know. Like, or like violet. Hello, come here one giant nostril. Come here, darling. Come here, triangle nostril. Um, I love that we're going to be able to talk so much about this episode because I know we'll talk an hour about this episode and really nothing fucking happened. Yeah, well, there was a moon, but we'll get to that. But I still took three pages of notes. Yeah. Um, let me see. Um, then we after the dog race, by the way, in the winner of the dog race was cash. Can you believe that? Can you believe that cash, like before cash couldn't do anything and now it's trained enough to run in a straight line as fast as possible to its mother? Oh, I can't believe Figaro lost. I mean, Figaro is built for this and I'm sure Lydia, I'm sure Lydia was shocked. Yeah, she's going to be showing up with a Figaro number two. They're going to be like, is that the same dog? It's the same dog. Is it a tiny greyhound? It's my daughter. Uh, yeah, I was really proud of that little cash dog and I've really just gambled so cute. She has the personality of like a 10 year old whose feelings are hurt, but she's not 10. Yeah. Um, she has a piece of work here. She's like, "My feelings are still hurt because she's not supposed to be my friend." Well, while she's bringing up these rumors, I don't understand the rumors anymore. Why is everybody so mean to me? Oh, wow, Figaro is so mean to me. My mom says parties. And me, while she's the first one to start making like sexual jokes, you know? Like, that's a really good way to dispel the rumors. I have a stripper flow here. I don't like your dog, Lydia, because he's not going firm. He's scaring me. You know what I call this race. I call it dogs racing doggy style, like wolfy dogs for me. Her's a joke. My favorite position is to be on a lane. I don't have dogs run all over me. Oh, beautiful. So then we move on to another Chica's amazed at someone's apartment. Oh, yeah, she's like, "Oh, I think it's quite amazing. I think it's really, I think it's excellent." Every episode, Dina. I mean, Chica is walking into someone's home like, "This is beautiful. Where do you get the candlesticks? What a beautiful rod." I've never seen anybody living like this. How amazing. How do your drawers open? Are they motorized? I'd love to have to open them and yourself. How many dishwashers do you hear? One fireplace, a tin? I'm not going to judge luxuries for luxurious people, am I right? I'd love to see you on House Hunters. Sitehouse number one. Well, I know I would love to have a house that's close to town, but oh, this is just wonderful. Look at this. It's a window. It's glass that you can see through. I love that you can see that. You can see outside, but you're inside. It's just wonderful. There's blood on these walls, but a lot of people would call that modern art. So why say whoever died here, thanks for the bargain. It's going to be gorgeous. Oh, look, there's a ghost over there. It's a little girl. It just walked out of the TV. I think it's great. What a great effect. It's really atmospheric. I love it. Like she like haunted houses do not work on her. It's like, oh, there's a clanking up in upstairs. Oh, look, there's not there's a there's a twin. Look, there's Bruce's twin. They were separated booth at birth and the twin is upstairs on a chair. I love it. I love it. I think somebody inside of me who died 100 years ago that murdered the children and hung herself on a tree. Well, I'll tell you what. I want to murder my children now, but it's a great feeling. So thank you, ghost. What a wonderful feeling. Oh, I love I love these walls that are bleeding. It's very interactive. I love it. I love it. I think you've done great things with these walls. The motorized draws were bleeding out of the creases on me. What a house. You know, I love if you go upstairs to the room, you open up the room. There's like a dead body crawling out of a bathtub. I love it. It's a great place for children on their little big wheels to go racing around. I think it's great. I think it's like this house used to be the house of a rapist who raped all the children on the street and then they got together and burned him and now he's coming back and they're not mad. Sounds luxurious. I mean, who wouldn't want a house with somebody coming at them every night and they're not mad. It's luxury. I love what you've done with the telephone. There's a tongue that comes out of it. I love that. It makes you feel very relaxed. We just need to put Chica in every movie genre of all time. Any haunted house, anything? No, any action, like action. Listing. I'm too old for this shit, but I'll do it still because it's luxurious. So you have a machine gun too? Oh, I love that. You are so good with a machine gun. Die hard. Is there any other way to talk with laundry? I love what you've done with Nakatomi Plaza. It's great. I think all these Japanese investors should be very happy and you know what? I'm so proud of the big group for catering this event. Well, everybody. I just wish those Germans would be able to come downstairs and enjoy our catapace. Everyone's always wanting the bus to go fast and when it does, they complain. I call it a speed luxury. I just love how fast this bus is going. It's just that this way you get from point A to point B and it's just done. So funny. You know, I just, you know what? I love the way your new robot can move. I love how we can sort of melt and then reshape is something else. I think it's very innovative. It's like that new Lexus grill. It looks real. I love that your robot can speak Spanish. Ostelevista. It's great. It's a great advance for robots. You can speak like my housekeeper who's like family to me, of course, but Mexican. I was like, I was like ready to go for like 20 more minutes. I was like, give me a movie. I am like, I am ready to go. Sometimes the most luxurious thing to do to a bet run is to just send it then. I know, but I can't, you know, I've been drinking coffee and I just can't. I'm like, if we could work Chef Penny into this and Chef Penny and Chica, it'll just, it'll just be my dream come true. I've tried to murder that bet, that bet run like it was my wife and I didn't want her to get all my woman money. So I hired somebody to kill Quentin Paltrow. How luxurious. You know, there's been, there's been a bit of squabbling with the girls lately and I thought the best way, I thought the best way to bring everyone together was we'd have a retreat at Camp Crystal Lake and we would just, it'll just be us, be secluded. We'll go out on the, we'll go out on the lake and it'll be a great time. Randy panties. You know, there's a man there with a hockey, a hockey mask and I think that's just wonderful. It's just wonderful to see people playing sports and feeling alive. All right, I'll stop, I'll stop. So this time Chica was amazed at Petit Floor is a part. She's like, why are this amazing? And Petit Floor was even worse because as much as Gina can compliment someone, Petit Floor can compliment herself even more likely. She even one ups people when they're just trying to be nice to her. She's like, no, I'm not touching myself then you watch me. Like, what a luxurious home and Petit Floor is like the most luxurious in the city. She's like, what a lovely balcony. I have seven balconies. She's like, it's a great view of the city. She's like, oh, I have a great view of the country. I can see Asia. Chica tells her, oh, what a lovely hallway. Where can they do something with that? I mean, that hallway calls out for something. It's like literally a poor person that Petit Floor kidnapped from Thailand. It's like, can I please eat something? No, you can't eat. This is how you learn to be wealthy like me. Now shut up, poor idiot. I will go. Swish the beach and stop being hungry. Did I tell you how poor I was before I got this amazing apartment that looks over India and the entire country? Did you know that this is the original location of the United Nations? They used to have General Assembly right here in my living room. So the reason Petit Floor was going over there is because she is hired Chica to party plan her birthday party, which you know is not going to end well. And she demanded a staircase kick. She's like, I want to have two staircases that go up. They just go up, you know, and it is a representation of this, but it's also a representation of what was the things that she's experiencing. It's my opera house, but it's also the opera house. So it's a staircase to an opera house? Yeah, she's like, I want this cake to represent my journey. It's like, sorry, we can't make a cake that's like blowing an old rich guy for a Bentley. It's a very difficult shape to me. Yeah. And then blowing your son. Which we'll get to. A staircase, my journey. It is hard to please this bitch. It's like the last episode. She's like, oh yeah, I forgot to get my tag lighter. And she's like, these bitch wants a, this bitch wants a cake. Hey, I really loved your doorbell because your doorbell, instead of ding dong, it just says bitch, bitch. I mean, that's branding, darling. Good job. Bitch, bitch. Ringtone for next week. Bitch, bitch. I went, you know, I loved it. I loved it when it was like noon. Your grandfather clock went, beach, beach, beach, beach, beach, beach, beach, beach, beach, beach, beach, when I took a pain, you loom right now, it just went. Bitch. I just wanted to talk like that, darling. Look, a Chica is so nice. It just kills me, but she's also kind of the commentator about this show. So, petty floor, it's like, listen, this is my birthday. I don't want a bunch of bitches fighting. She's like, I just want, I just want everyone to be able to listen for when my son plays the grand bitch piano. Chica's like, here's what's going on. Gina's coming around the corner at Jackie, but Jackie's ready for, and she's waiting there with a butter knife. So, Gina's going to come around the corner, Jackie's going to be there. Who knows what's going on with Janet? She's a wild car. Get a storyline already. Get out of here. Fucking Chica, your storyline is telling everybody they have a fucking nice apartment stop. So, then we move over to Lydia's dinner party. Well, in the past, I choose three episodes. They go from party to party. It's like they could have had like at least five more episodes, but I loved how when Lydia's describing the menu, she's saying how she brings out this, I guess, a renowned chef who makes this really nice looking dessert, and Lydia's like, Lydia's like, you know, I love cigars. And so, Matt is making a cigar dessert. So, Matt has made a wonderful dish around me. Like, you know, every single time your likes intersect with someone else's ideas, it doesn't mean that they did it because of you. It's like, would you like to that store? It's the main. It's like, you know what I like? I like dessert, and he's making dessert. So, he's almost like invented a whole other course for a meal based around what I like. And just, you know, I had to buy him a few lines that, I mean, coming in from going into that grocery store was amazing because normally they're not open on a mandate menu. They open just for me. You know, it's amazing. I had to drive there, and usually the roads are closed, but the road, I could drive there freely. It's like, it's like they opened up the roads just for me. Fucking Lydia. And first of all, okay, third of all, 20th of all. Yeah, that dessert. She's like, the chef has made something that really represents me. It's for me. Okay, it was a phallic simple rolled around and shit. Yeah. It looked like a big long dog shit. It's like a penis cavity. It's just like me. It's in my marriage. It's like he understands what I have to put up with him. That cigar is my son now. Yeah, so like, I like cigars. I like cigars. Who wants a fucking dessert based on a cigar? Well, no, I would do it. Those are, that's like a thing that like to desert cigars. I've seen that before. That's an ashy, ashy, muddy mess. That's just not sound good. But I did love that it was basically a big shit covered dick. Yeah, absolutely. And nobody said anything. Of course, it did bring Janet to how long do you all keep your man hard? Been hard for longer than five minutes. I know she should be calling a family morse. Yeah, Emily would be like, maybe if he's not staying hard, you should be nicer to him. She was that was uncalled for. That was from our bonus episode. Yeah. Yeah, Janet went through her litany of what different things men can do to get hard. And I think it's funny because she fucks 20 year olds. So either erectile dysfunction has spread or, you know, you should stop fucking 20 year olds because there was a reason they can't get it up. But she was talking about all the different men things that you can use now. Like there's pills, obviously. And now there's like a jelly or something that you can put on your dick and it gets hard in 10 minutes. What the hell? Yeah, I didn't know about that. Yeah, I've never heard of that. Sounds amazing. Australia, they got all sorts of weird things. Janet in this episode. Well, really in the past few has been so over the top, fakey, fakey, too, faced. I know. But I just love it because she's so Texas when she does that because that's how southern people are. They're like, honey, how are you? You look amazing. You look different. That means you look really fat. And like there's all these hidden meanings and that. She's like, darling, you're amazing. Here we are in your house. Look at you. You're wonderful. You like Madeleine Lawson. Did you just call her a fat slut? I know. That was amazing when she called Lydia. I was like, although I will say Lydia's food did look good. Yeah. Whatever. No, no, it didn't. I was getting hungry. No, I was about to take a drink of tea. I was like, what's this bitch cooking on a bitch kitchen? She's like, can I please have the appetizer of Escar bitch? I'll have some shrimp. I'll have a bitch. I'm going to have this dessert with my party and it's going to be called a bitch off. Did you hear about my birthday party? It's going to be called a winter bitch. Oh, god. Pussy Pussy like drink. Oh, that's Janet. Would you like a Pussy lake offering someone's mom or Lydia's mom? Pussy like drink. Oh, yeah. These women were all horny and exhibit A was petty floor giving a blowjob to the cigar. Oh, god. I missed that. Oh, yeah. I think it was petty floor. She was fully filating her cigar. Get this bitch in my mouth. It's not a nice one. Okay. Now I'm flipping and you know, I don't know how to flip through this notebook. Yeah, you go flip. So I'm sure something else happened in this episode. Well, no, I think then what happened, I think that the next thing that happened was that we then went to petty floor getting ready for her birthday party. Oh, my goodness. This one is a mess. So her first big issue is there's this giant moon, which already has me laughing that there's even a giant moon at this party and petty floor. It's like too high for petty floor and because she's going to be doing a rumba, she announces. And I guess she'll be starting on the moon. And the moon cannot be adjusted and someone needs to get this bitch moon down a little bit because I'm not, I'm not totally okay. Well, just saw the set piece. Okay, we just built like a 10 foot tall set piece for your fucking living room. She's like, yeah, no, I want it different. Like, they cannot make you a new moon today. Okay, you're busy. And also, you shouldn't even be on a moon in the first place. It doesn't make sense. It's not thematic. You're doing a winter wonderland. The moon has nothing to do with it. And you're going to be dancing to the song petty floor. So you should at least be coming off of a flower or something. You know, the last that you want is to come in a moon like Celine Dion and Caesar's palace. Why couldn't they just get her a step stool? Did they really cut that moon down? Like, I cannot jump off the moon for my rumba. Who does this? I'm freaking out. That was her other phrase of the day. I'm freaking out. I'm like freaking out right now. This party isn't done. I'm freaking out. Look at that tree. I'm gonna freak out. It looks like a forest. Yeah, I mean, she was being so annoying because basically, she wanted her main hallway to look like winter wonderland. So first they put in all these like branches and stuff and flowers. And they're obviously not done. They obviously have not put in the snow. And she's like, this looks like a flower shop to me. I'm like, well, guess what? You know what a winter wonderland looks like without snow? It looks like a flower shop. Okay, that's the way it works. All right. So let them put the snow on and then you can complain. Yeah. But no, she has to walk through and be as mean as possible to try and start a war with Chica of all people who is not going to have it. Yeah, because Chica, that's one thing. You can't really mess with Chica's business because she was like the pity floor was being ridiculous. You know, she has him with flowers and branches. We put that in now. She says too floral. I mean, I mean, I can't get it. I'm not love her. That's what I love that. She's so spunky. Yeah. Shut up, Chica. You're pissed. You admit it. And petty floor is walking around just yelling at the or not even yelling, but just telling the interns, basically, like 220 year old. She's like, oh, who does this for their business? This is not a carpet. This is cream. I want winter. This is cream carpet. Who wants this? I'm going to freak out. I don't have time for the future because what I see is right now and I'm freaking out about it. I do not cream. It's no, it's not cream. It is not cream. Someone rolled this bitch up and get it out of here. How are people supposed to pee their names into the snow if it is cream? This is ridiculous. I'm freaking out. I'm freaking out so much. It's like I'm walking on a giant slick of coffee mate. But you know, what's funny is, you know, on some house, we've seen this a million times on some housewives shows when the party has to come together, they play all this tense music and they're like, where's the light? The light's not happening. And then they cut to like Kyle being like, oh my God, my wife party is going to do this every year and it's not coming together. It's going to be a disaster. And then, you know, they always play tense music like, what's going to happen? But you can see the producers just don't even give a shit about petty floor. The music was like, it's just like, I'm freaking out. It was like, when you watch Survivor and they play the idiot coconut music, we're like, boom, boom, boom, boom. They play some weird percussion, it's like, they do that on top chef whenever there's like a really dumb chef, like one of the ones that they just want to kick off early. They're like, I made this amazing thing. It's like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, like always like someone like guys. So they drop percussion, because of instruments out of Syracuse, boom, boom, boom, boom. If only you could actually hear that music while you were competing, you would know what's coming. You're never going to make it. Also, speaking of that, that piece of shit, that literal shit dessert, that reminded me of top chef. Do you remember, I think it was season one or two where there was that guy who was like an apple bees, like literally an apple bees chef or something, like a lime cook. And he hated the guest judge. And so it was that Dana Callan chick. And he hated her. So he, they had to make stuff out of a defending machine. So he made that poop cheat. Oh, it was like, he forgot about that. He was like an asshole. And he was like, in an interview later, he was like, it was amazing making Dana Callan eat a giant piece of dick shit. Like, make that bitch eat it. Where were we, darling? Darling, we were talking about the preparations for for Petifla's party. Oh, Petifla. Yeah, she was ridiculous and trying to be a big diva, but it didn't work. And she is not going to fall for that. She's like, Oh, thank you for calling customer service. This is Chica of Chica design. You don't like it, darling. I'm going to see what we can do about that. All right. Don't freak out. Don't freak out. Remember that you're living in luxury. I'm going to be there in time in luxurious time. I think that I'll do it's like in an hour. I know. I think that Petifla's like a little bit impatient. But you know, I love her. I love that about her. That's how she gets things done. I love that about her. But she's not winter in winter. There should be poor people without shoes begging for money, wishing they were old enough to have sex with the man to get ventilings. What the hell kind of winter is this? This is supposed to be winter in New York. I do not see it. By the way, I like to have the winter wonderland theme only existed in the hallway. And then you go into like the then it's just like her apartment. And then it's dancing with the not stars. Okay. So carpet is gray, one of flowers, blah, blah, blah Chica. Okay, so then Janet goes over to Manuela's house. Oh, yes. Manuela. Because Manuela is like the behind the scenes Queen B, I guess. She's the she's the Faye Resnick of Melden. Well, I wouldn't call Faye Resnick the big puppet master. I kind of got the impression that Manuela was kind of a puppet master. No, I actually like Manuela. But for some reason, physically, she reminded me of Faye Resnick, even though they don't even look alike. But for some reason, I was getting a lot of Faye Resnick from her. Manuela's a horrible human being. And I hope she's on next year, because I'm going to love to watch her. I don't mind Manuela to be honest. I think she's sort of funny. I like that girl is nothing but a shitster. That girl's a life ruiner on purpose for fun. She's like, Oh, like she just sits there with her. Yeah. Fucking weird, a holier-than-mouth smile. I kind of like it. Yeah, she seems awful though, but I like her. I want her to be on it. But I don't even know what this scene was except to get Manuela in here a little bit. But it was Janet basically being like, Hi, Manuela. It's me, Janet. I just want to stop talking about the rumor about Janet bringing up a rumor that she doesn't want to talk about. I know. I don't even remember what this was about. I don't remember it either. Somehow, Manuela was like, I'm going to be Mindy Campbell now. Yeah, yeah, basically. And so then finally, we get over to the party. Do we get there? Oh, yeah. More or less. So we get to the party. Rowan. And it's the big reveal in petty fluids walking through the whole way. And she opens her eyes and she's like, Oh, it's so pretty. After all that, she's like, Yeah, she's like, But I have no regrets about the way I action because had I not busted some balls, these beaches wouldn't have gotten this bitch ready. God, she's the worst. I'm like, what did you being a bit have anything to do with this being a bitch did not light this room? Okay. Yeah, like they already had their bags of snow like they would have it would have happened. Also, that sweater that pettiflor was wearing in her testimonials have boob cups that are above her nipples. What is she doing? She just says she's just trying hard. She's just very a very thirsty lady. Is that like nose shading? Are we supposed to see them as higher or I don't know. It's like she's doing contouring for her upper chest area. I want you to see my collarbone. Oh, Gamble walks in and it's like, Oh, what did I think? Well, it was my ejaculating forest. Yeah. That forest came everywhere. Like we'll be that forest came everywhere. I was ejaculating forest, but I don't have sas parties. How dare you say I have sas parties. I'm very prudish. It's not ejaculating forest. Someone take my picture of being ejaculated on my trees for Facebook. No one will get the wrong impression. Oh, I have a pearl necklace of forest ejaculate. Oh, no sas parties. Darling, I heard you had a sex party with a bunch of fake trees from Michaels. They have not fake trees. They were the trees from Snowy. And they told me to go running because there was an apple coming my way. I was evil. It wasn't Michaels. It was the Hobby Lobby. Ryan's and I like co-operable. We'll see. You know, I love going to world one. Well, I forgot the name of it. Wolfie, I forgot the name of the store. I like to go to Lydia world market with Wolfie. Lydia is such a bitch with a smile on her face. I've really enjoyed Lydia this whole season, by the way. Well, she's been like, she's just walking around. Like she like she just was next to a church bell that rang like, and she's like, what, what? I can't hear you. She's just so stupid. I love her. She's like, I'm so honored to be at Paddy Floor's birthday. I mean half of a hundred. That's a long, long time. So happy hunt birthday. 70s really old. You know what I just realized? 50 is right in between 49 and 51. That's pretty amazing. It's almost like 50s, the daughter of 51. Oh, who was Gamble talking to when she said? I don't want to talk to Manuel. She's aggressive. She has, she had a friend. She has like this friend who looks sort of like Elvira, mistress of the night. At least has the same hair. And she was saying, oh, it was that dark haired chick? I think so. Because she was like, oh, Manuel, that's very aggressive to me. And then that chick runs right over to Manuela and it's like that goo culture aggressive killer. Yeah. Well, no, Manuela is like, the Manuela is like, Sue, oh, here you think I'm aggressive. Am I aggressive? Am I aggressive? Am I aggressive? Yeah, she comes sauntering over there and heals too tall with that neck that looks like it could wrap up an entire family and suffocate them, by the way. She looks terrifying. These big old toilet lid teeth that can chomp down on your head anytime. And she literally looks down on Gamble and she has this big fake smile on her. And she's like, so how are you, Gamble? And Gamble's like, oh, it's fine. She's like, really? That's wonderful. Well, I think I've heard that you're calling me aggressive. Is it so? She's like, oh, no, you're aggressive. Well, I like, I like to her responses more. She's like, no, yes. Well, you're aggressive. No, Wolfie. How am I aggressive? Yeah, you were doing it perfect. I'm aggressive. How am I aggressive? What am I doing? What am I doing to scare you? Am I scaring you? Am I scaring you? Yeah. And she's like, well, you'll express rumors that's about me. And I don't, I don't appreciate the rumors. I like the friend when she's like, well, you are being scary. What are you doing? Back off. And I was like, please don't interrupt me. I'm having my moment to get on the show. Thank you. And she starts trying to intimidate Gamble and Gamble look like she was about to piss herself. And then she was like, fuck this, you know? And so she like flips the bitch. And she was like, and she was like, you need to get laid. All right. It's like, what's wrong with you? She's like, grow the fuck up talking about this rumor. I'm sick of talking about it. You're women. I'll need to go get laid. Slandering my character. And then Jenna comes over. And, and then it's this, it's like, you know, she hears this thing about the Slender of the character. Jenna's like, no, you listen. I'm sorry. I'm still like my Gamble voice. I'm like, I can't get out of it. I'm like, oh, I'm jealous. No. I'm just like, now you listen. Like, Wayne, is it going to get into your little head that I wasn't trying to slander your character? I said, I didn't come up with the rumor. I just sang it to warn you of it. And I was doing the exact opposite. When's he gonna get into your little head? You know, and Gamble's like, I didn't tell anything you just said. Could you repeat that, please? Damn it. When are you gonna stop talking about the rumor? Nobody cares about this rumor. Why do you bring up the rumor every day? She did not bring it up because you went to her house and brought it up before you brought it up at the dinner party. Before you brought it up at the other party, stop bringing it up. You dumb bit and Jenna's like, oh, stop talking about it. Did you hear Gamble talking about the rumor? Stop it. Stop it. So then this fight with Jackie and Gina started Gina cuts in because then, oh, I don't remember. How did this fight even start? I'm trying to remember now. Well, I guess the dance was before the fight. You want to discuss the dance? Oh, you all we have to discuss the dance because then the sun is like, I love my mom. I love my mom. We have sex every day. I love my mom. And then like the door's open and there's petty floor on a moon and she starts doing her rumba. Oh God, his speech. He's like, there was a time. This kid is such a drama queen. It's like, there was a time when the most beautiful woman in the world wasn't here yet. And all that was here on earth to represent her were her beautiful amazing parents. Her parents went to a dance one evening at a dance hall and they knew right when they danced with each other for the first time that it was meant to be. And they went home and they planted a little flower seed inside of a vagina that grew into a short evil woman with a terrible accent. It's my mother. Please welcome. It's like someone put a beach in that vagina. He's like the song they were dancing to. Petifur. Well, thank God they weren't dancing to cold hearted snake or some shit. Petifur is an awkward enough name. Yeah. They have a dancing to the song beaches back. They were dancing to the song. Wake me up before you go go. So here to dance. A beautiful romantic rumba is my mother. Wake me up before you go go. So then the dance. So then after the dance Chica is hilarious by the way in this whole scene. So then after the dance she's like oh no wait there is more. I'm like oh no. It's like wait bitches. Bitches there's a sick there's a sick and act bitches. My son is going to play chopsticks because my parents had Chinese for that night. And plays the exact same song they just all listened to. But this time she is standing next to the piano with her eyes closed like we're just weird dancing back and forth. Like and she and she's almost doing her snap. She's almost doing her snap but she's still not doing her snap. Still doesn't quite have it. Not quite there. And Chica is dying laughing. Yeah Chica can't control it. And then of course Edward she's like I think it was great. I think it was wonderful. You know I kept on laughing because it's just so perfect. I loved it. I wish Bruce would do that. Oh so then we got to the fight. The big Janet and Gina whatever. Yeah and by the way Janet and Gina spent the whole episode leading up to this. Talking about how they really like each other but it's like you know Janet Janet's like I mean not Janet. What's her face? Shine shine shine Jackie. It's like a joke. He's like a younger younger teen sister. You know you never know when she's gonna play her off but then we will go get a meal together. And then and Jackie's best saying the same thing. So we knew that we're gonna have a fight. Yeah um I'm trying to see Jackie versus oh it started. Wait Jackie versus Gamble. Well you know it was you know it was because Gamble was mad at Gina for bringing up the stripper. Like the fact that her makeup lady is involved with um was was like somehow part of the rumors. So Gamble was like confronting Gina about that. Right? Oh right right right right. And then Jackie came into it. But then how did Jackie come into it? I think because then because Gina was denying that she was trying to start with trouble and then I think and then they started talking about the morning show. They started talking about the morning show right. Yeah like like about how Gina was going about like how Gina said let's throw the new girls under the bus. And Gina's like he was all in fun. He was in fun. Joking dolly. Just joking dolly. He was in the forest. You'd be like oh that was fun girls. All right let's throw the new girls under the bus. I mean of course you talk about that shit. Right um but yeah then Jackie's like listen here. Listen here. You know why don't lie. All right I'm rich. I'm gorgeous. My husband's himself a chair. I don't lie. What do I have to lie about huh? What do I have? And then she starts getting all ghetto. And Gina's like listen I don't need some little horrible broken woman coming off to me. And then and then didn't gamble. Wasn't gamble the one who said something about like oh I think I think that the the angels messed up in your brain. I think I think the angels and then that that's what said Jackie off. She's like I don't know about this psychic thing. Yeah angels and we're in mine. Yeah and Jackie's like now you're talking. You know being psychic is very serious to me. Now you're getting that's not being couture. You're not like petty fliz moon which is very couture. You're like petty flaws asshole which is not couture. Don't fuck with angels. Don't fuck with my angels. Those are my angels. I'm psychic. I'm psychic and now you're messing with my profession. You can't do that. My husband's himself a chair. I heard I heard that your angels are having a sex party for heroin. Oh your angels and your demons make a movie with Tom High so then they have suss in the movies. Hey I'm Ryan Reynolds. At mid-mobile we like to do the opposite of what Big Wireless does. They charge you a lot. We charge you a little. So naturally when they announced they'd be raising their prices due to inflation we decided to deflate our prices due to not hating you. That's right we're cutting the price of mint unlimited from $30 a month to just $15 a month. Give it a try at mintmobile.com/switch. $45 up from payment equivalent to $15 per month new customers on first three month plan only taxes and fees extra speeds lower above 40 gigabyte CD tails. Etsy knows these aren't the sounds of holiday gifting. Oh or oh okay thank you. Well they're not the sounds you're hoping for. You want squeals of delight like this. Oh and spontaneously written songs of joy. I am so happy. Oh yeah oh yeah. To get those make everyone on your list feel heard with gifts like personalized jewelry. Custom artwork. Vintage pieces and home decor for original gifts that say I get you. Etsy has it. Oh but then they all just Jackie just like lost her share was really going after Gina. Well she did that. I lost this until Jackie repeated it later. I missed this I mean but Gina I guess said I'm not talking to you. You both have dilated pupils. Oh that's what it was. That was the thing that set up. Gina's like I'm just like I'm not sticking around. I see dilated pupils. I'm getting out of here. And then Jackie was like you know Gina always says these things and just like walks off it's not right. I can't believe you said I had dilated pupils. I mean while she's opening her eyes as wide as possible and her her button pupils are popping out. Like yep. The I'm just going to take it over my mouth. Yeah. Listen I'm in silver chair it's very different. It's not cold cocaine. It's called breakfast all right it's what we do. Feed your nose all right loses the news news. But she got pissed and Gina kept walking away and then Jackie just kept following her around going why won't you talk to me. Let's talk. Let's talk. Do you want to fight? Let's do it. Gina's like no you're tired. Busy tired. Whatever. Like you're gonna fight with her. So then we had a blood sweat and heels moment where Jackie is like trying to bang open the door. Gina's like locked on to one of the to one of the seven balconies. To the next hour. Not the photos. And then it just kind of ends. Yeah it's like boy I'm leaving. Yeah and then all of a sudden the music changes to like I think it was marriage a figaro and then it does the thing at the end of the season where it like zooms in on the face and then says like you know what they've been up to and I was like what I don't know this was the season finale. I did love that it ended with Gina going I'm not fighting with some random bogan woman a terrible high mileage thing. She said that's amazing a terrible high mileage thing. Love you. So yeah then they start uh petaflores was basically like I'm petaflorer and I'm freaking out bitches. She's like this party this party was great. I am over the moon about it but not this moon because it's too tall for me. I cannot be over the moon about this party but I can be leaning on the moon for this party. Okay I'm gonna put that on your yacht Gina. Hey astronomers there's a moon in my living room. Take that bitches. Oh look it's my sound I can see your anus. Hey bitches did you hear that Pluto's no longer a planet. Take that Pluto you stupid bitch. That was pretty much it. In space nobody can hear you scream bitches. Look I'm your bitch. All right so that was fun. What a fun season and we've got two more episodes because it's a reunion time. Yes. Real housewives of Melbourne does not do a lost footage episode but I would love to see some extra scenes of Janet trying to have sex with some old person for an hour. It's like the opening of mash. Potatoes. Did you make these? Oh you must have done it for me. I love mashed potatoes. I'm so glad you invented this vegetable for me because I like to thank Russia for inventing the potato they did it for me. Yeah thank you for growing it. I heard they were going to stop growing potatoes worldwide but I said no I like potatoes. They said okay we'll keep the crops open. Next stop corn. What do you want to talk about? I don't even know what I mean. Next stop corn. Do you want to do blood sweat? Do you want to do candy ski trip? What would you rather do you been? I'll tell you exactly what I want to talk about next. Riley. Let's talk about the candy ski trip. Trying to do candy laughing. Oh candy candy candy. Candy ski trip. Wow so candy's mom doesn't suck her whole family fucking stuff. What the hell? I loved candy ski trip. Oh my god if it's just the ants complaining the whole time I'll watch. Oh I thought it was so funny. You know what I liked about it aside from the fact that these ants grumbling and complaining so much aside from the fact that that was so entertaining I just for some reason I found it to be all oddly relatable. Like I can imagine going on a big trip with my extended family and these things would come up you know. Yeah all the fights are cray cray. Like just stupid shit you know. Well it opens with candy candy saying she's taking her family on a trip because she like wanted her something she might like somebody gave it to her on a like for publicity or something. I do not think they met a ski trip for 20 people around many ever the whole people you've got on this thing but I love that bargain basement candy's like well it's free let's all go. I know exactly that's that's a funny part it's a free trip and yet they spend the entire time complaining. And Todd's trying to be they do their testimonial thing at the beginning together where they're like I'm candy and I'm Todd and we're gonna take a ski trip or whatever. Yeah and Todd is trying so hard to be charming and likable and high energy and loving to candy and he's like a bad child actor is not. Yeah like literally he looks like a child actor with some stippled on facial hair. To paraphrase mean girls the reason why his hair is so tall is because it's filled with lies. Yeah he's like oh I can't wait candy. Like oh god here we go. I know. So they take everybody on this trip including the assistants Carmen and what's the other guy? Well there's gone on and on one and then there's even Todd's like overly enthusiastic assistant whatever his name was. Oh we'll get to him. Yeah we'll get to him. So we get to everybody packing and the mom and the ants are like bringing their own food in a suitcase. They're bringing their own grits. Which is amazing. My grandma used to do that too. Then we got a scene before they leave of Mama Joyce being nice to Todd at the grave. He's like maybe I didn't love your mother Todd but I'm sorry she's there. I brought some condoms to put her on the grave. Because she's a whore. I know whores don't use condoms but you can always try even after death to improve someone's character Todd. I know that if there's one thing your mama would want in the afterlife it's just lots and lots of dick so I brought some lube to bury with her. Because she's a whore. I can't wear her fur coat to pimp it up while we're visiting your mama Todd. Todd I'm sorry that you're the only man here. I know that Sharon would want many many men to be here with her right now. Oh good. So we know trouble is coming because when they ask mama Joyce if she's excited she says I can't be in the room with common and not want to drag. So flight flight flight drive drive drive drive everybody starts getting pissed off because so this is Todd's assistant? Yeah so what happens is they yeah I forget his name they they fly to to steamboat when they fly to Colorado they're going to go to Steamboat Springs or whatever it's called and this assistant he shows up and he's like all right everyone I got I got you some emergency that's going to and it's going to be in this hot apple cider and he pulls out basically like four cups of hot apple cider which I thought was actually pretty poor like you don't if you have a whole group coming you don't get apple cider for just for like Todd and his crew yeah and then Todd and his crew go in one car and then everybody else was put on like a van and so they got all to be fair I thought the bus was a nice was nicer than the than the SUV yeah but that's just where it started because the ants were like oh here we are on the back of a bus in our own family it's like oh no here we go they were already pissed that assistant guy is like what a black got how a black guy would imitate a dirty white guy he's like hi guys yeah he's a white guy got medicine and everybody needs save it's like oh god what is with the white people on me so first it was last week with Kenya Morris a white actor trying to act like he was black and now this week the white guy's trying to act like he's as white as possible what is happening can we just get some normal white people on these shows no never uh it's payback for all for holy black people who get like poorly married but for all the like the awful black people who end up on these shows that then white america thinks is the way black america is yeah this is Caucasian karma it's payback i think i think we i think we can take one for the team it's okay yeah Caucasian karma so they're driving and then when they finally get to their cabins you know that aunt Nora and aunt birtha and weenie have been stewing over that apple cider they are pissed that you know they probably are hungry if anything else they are clearly hungry and they need some food because you know you know hanger can run in my family and i've seen it happen and uh and i've been the victim of it many times and i recognize it and aunt birtha was clearly hangry at that moment she's like we waited you know the two first we fly and then we have to drive for two hours and then she's like i'm just i'm not happy at all i'm not happy about she's facing around chain smoking in candies like come on now see now birtha and birtha like i just want mad right now the birtha is like listen i understand that she was hangry but like what does she want to happen does she want somehow don want to move the entire resort town of simba springs ten minutes away from the airport it's just what happens this is i just love this family because they all act like they're successful like you are not the you are not the one who had a successful career and got rich okay you do not have the right to be a diva but this yeah this isn't just being a diva this is old lady diva and i think you do kind of earn it so i'm gonna i'm gonna take back my other well no i mean this is like honestly all they're complaining which we'll get into but all they're complaining that they went through this episode you know what deep down they were loving it because these old ladies and we need they got nothing better to do you know like they're there like a gift to them is giving them something that they can like sit and talk about over and over and over again and get themselves angry and angry and angry and then it's a thing and now they're like they're their time is occupied with the stupidity better than bridge better than bridge yeah and then we have the white guy trying to like make birth a happy with with my favorite part of the entire oh god she's sitting there with her arms crossed on the couch he's like hi ampertha i got you some food she's like i don't want your food take that back away take your plate young man it's like everybody likes food i don't do you want some lotion no do you want to kiss no do you want me to rub your feet no who does that i know husband's rub my feet this is how people get killed at the zoo by the way this is how remember those two kids who were drunk up in like like san francisco or oakland or or wherever they were san jose they went with they were at the zoo and they taunted a tiger they got up in that tiger's business any other tiger did tiger ran and jumped out of the tiger pan and killed them both hmm good for him yeah that's how this happens right here this assistant he is lucky he still has his head he went up he was messing with ampertha like learn some social cues my friend that white guy even has dumb and dumber hair he has jim carrey dumb and dumber hair yeah yeah bird thumb come on i was gonna kill him and ampertha you wait my husband so funny so then you see mama Joyce's face over there just watching this and she's dying like her her joker smile the only time she's happy is when there's misery around so let's fly to see her smile um then the answer showed their room uh quote this room ain't no nice she was like oh hell no oh so now they're even more mad and then we can get a cute scene with riley and cala is her name cala yeah this is like hey cala has he has hey so i broke up with my boyfriend you did what did you say to him i said i don't know i don't know if we should go on and i was like oh he's like okay so that's what i told him but she didn't even break up with him her friend did she's like my friend broke up with my boyfriend and she's like why did your friend do it she's like i don't know she didn't i can thank you i was like yeah that's cool my i was watching i was i was watching it um with someone who has never really watched before i just watched some of the show but didn't really know about these girls and was like are these two girls slow like he really asked like seriously like oh do they like do they have a mental condition i was like no that's just the way they talk um so but i want to get back to the showing off of the rooms because oh okay good good you didn't say anything so i skipped found past no no no i just got distracted because i was looking at the story about the the tiger killed people at the zoo um so um the thing is that the main house where it was candy and Todd mama Joyce and the two daughters which makes sense right and then you have like another cabin that's like pretty much next door and you have all of Todd's family and then then the three the three assistants and then there's this third house cabin that's like down a ways and then it's like up a staircase and that's where like the ants and weenie were placed so the ants were pissed they were pissed off that they had to walk all the way down then upstairs i mean every step it was like a crime against humanity but that being said for as much as they were complaining and and griping i do think it was kind of ridiculous to put these older ladies down like a slope and up a staircase like i'm shocked that they were not that that basically Don Juan and Carmen got better lodging than these women well i think it's probably because they work for candy so they have to be closer to the house to do stuff like to get the dinners ready for everybody and you know they're there to do stuff but of course it's easier i didn't notice that it was up a slope i mean i heard them complaining about the stairs but i mean she said 12 stairs she's like yeah there's 12 stairs over there she's saying that the other house when the Don Juan was in that was 12 steps away oh but of course the moment so so then there was like this whole thing or you know they're you know so the the ants and weenie they get into a tizzy down in their camp when they come up for dinner they are mad and and candy's like oh why are you looking so absurd and they're like and weenie is like oh my god weenie when she was talking to the ants she's like this is not right i'm gonna fix that she was ready to go listen you may not know where weenie's coming from but you never piss off your food source okay these women cook for weenie she is not it's like yelling at a twinkie you'll never see it done ever no matter what that twinkie does to you yeah so he's gonna stay on the good side of the women who cook for that is correct so weenie was like you know you put the two old ladies down there another street like so far away how could you do that to your ants you'll put them all the way down there when they have this and then uh uh then candy's like all right see now rally we'll just move rally and Kayla down the street and then you guys can leave up here so then she so candy I was like what and then she's like she's like see now rally back your bags and I was like oh i don't want to miss the fear this is an injustice and candy's like well i tried my best so i'm gonna have my friend break up with you for me so then candy comes back she's like see now i don't know what i'm gonna do he goes like we was gonna move rally right but then like she doesn't want to go so like i don't know what we can do but then don wan and karma like well we can just go down there and like oh okay i'm like yeah obviously obviously move the assistance you know but then but then once like okay so they're like okay so aunt Nora and Aunt Bertha you'll be you'll be taking over Carmen and Carmen and uh down wan's room and then they're like no i'm not no but they were like they were still pissed yeah they want the master bedroom i'm like you just said before that it was only 12 steps away and now you're angry again they were being awful those women i'm telling you the three of them are just awful they're you know they're awful at all times to everybody about everything now that we've seen them for one episode you know where mama joys gets it from they must have got it from their folks or something because they're all awful yeah all three well but then it turns out that the real source the issue with something else all the women gathered in the living room it's like you never call you used to call it every single day you don't come there and and and and and and and and and uh we knew he was crying everyone's crying but you know you know the way old old people are they they are the biggest exaggerators on the planet you know she's like used to call up every sunday we would have these hot to hot conversations you know that like they talked like once every six weeks you know yeah um and can't he had a good point it's like she's you know her mom's making her mom was making her life a living hell when she was getting with Todd and every you know when she goes to her family's house they just kind of join in with the mom it's like you know there's a reason yeah i just like that they made the white guy sit at the kids table with the two the two girls and that was a literal kids table for like five-year-olds it was all the way on the ground everybody's kneeling down yeah and he's like so guys what do you like to do now like nothing great no oh my god i'm gonna kill him but he got a love that they put him at the kids table that was fun man it was amazing i love it i was like laughing the whole the whole way through i i was really entertained yeah it's it's a fun show people seem to be mixed about it on our facebook page some actually not mixed i think everybody just hates it wow okay well i have to see what people say i like it i mean i think it's funny i'm gonna watch it yeah i mean it's sort of hard to say anything about it because it's like what we always say about alanta it's like it's already funny on its own so what can you add to it you know yeah um but what other shows would be coming up that we could cover for this Tuesday episode only married to medicine he got married to medicine coming oh mg when does that begin like in june so in june a whole bunch of new shows are coming so we got married to medicine we got real house of orange county coming up soon that's gonna be on monday's um we're gonna have um just other stuff oh yeah so there's always something crappy come and down this don't don't don't you war which is you like i said crappy it's branding bitch hey bitches we have another show we have another show coming down the pipeline i'm bravo it's cold real housewives of orange bitch county i'm freaking out i'm freaking out about orange county how can i have the county that's the entire county is orange how is that possible it's supposed to be a winter wonderland they named it that before spray tanning y'all all right so now let's move on to blood sweat and heals hey um so on this episode they decided to go back to the hamptons see oh yeah awesome one episode so um first things first there were demetria oh god demetria is like well actually demetria is being well she's not she's letting her man to be dirty yes that's totally heard i'm actually seeing that she control that he controls anything in that relationship ever yeah i actually it's you know what's funny is that as i started to say it i actually that's reason why i stopped i was like wait a second no demetria was not being nice demetria was not standing up for a friend greg was being totally irrational by saying that he wants to disinvite janeva i mean i get why he wants to disinvite her because he wants Wesley snipes at your wedding but in this case you know that's janeva's and that's demetria's friend demetria's like oh okay all right i mean greg why you put him in this position why you put him in this position of greg i'm like whatever you don't get put in position demetria yeah that is totally a case of the woman controlling the man because you know he said all this stuff already at home she's acting like she's never heard it and blah blah blah at home she was probably like yeah fuck them fuck all of them get her out of there she's not part of this wedding and then at the cake stories like i've decided she's like oh but she's my friend first of all if she's such your friend then why don't you just tell them nope sorry she's my friend oh like try and get her to apologize but you're not gonna disinvite my friends to my wedding yeah exactly it's like as easy as that yeah i don't buy any of that um but it's still fun because it makes me hate them even more and they're kind of fun to hate because they're they're very high on themselves both of them right and Melissa it just has an axe to grind with her frowny negative eyebrows and her angular square frown eyebrows now this time they're rectangular but she's mad so she came over and so she's ready to get her own revenge on everybody through them which isn't gonna work because the issues are just so different you're just like a crazy like kind of loose ex-video star girl and this woman wrote a book like you're never going to be on the same point yeah as much as you're on the same side today you're never going to be on the same side in life so stop yeah uh Melissa is so annoying this season yeah she really is um it's all on the brows i'm telling you your eyebrows can change your entire personality um so anyway so what happened after this i don't remember the order that things happened but i know that mica had like another visit with her suit that the guy she's seeing which was unremarkable yeah uh janeepa went over to see uh shantala her little office oh she's like oh my god like five hot bartenders backed out of this gig i don't know what i'm gonna do and janeepa's like girl you just need a masturbate that's all you really need this jerk off every once in a while touch yourself that's what you do when you say it that was janeepa's whole thing today it's just just half more sex yeah um but janeepa is wearing a oran let me get this straight an orange plaid overcoat a velvet red spark that's plaid and an orange hat with a pink ribbon what the fuck is she doing it was a disaster it was like plaids threw it up threw up on her she was like like some strange ode to bagpipers i don't know what it was but it was really i like bagpipers they wear a skirt do you know how easily they can reach their dicks they probably masturbate all day long that's why they're so happy she's like i'm taking ownership of bagpipers because bagpipers are who play when a cop dies and you know what when i had my civil rights destroyed with when i was i was not gonna pay those seven dollars that i had and when the cop threw me in jail i said i'm gonna take the bagpiper from you oh my gosh this is wearing plaid every day now and janeepa's like thank you so much for coming to my office i know it's small but you know i'm just starting out plus i have lots of pens with the company name on that it's like how many pens do you have she had like 500 pens in that tiny office that was shanty's hot part enters well yeah what's the name of her stupid uh her staffing agency again is this something like a door or something like that or sexy i forget who needs to read work out and company yeah um but that brought it out of that so anyway they were like the meteorias oh to meteoria was smiling because she had a drink remember he gave her a drink that's like the only time she could smile in life if she has a drink yeah um then she had some photo shoot she's like i'm having this photo shoot for this magazine because of my wedding it's it's gonna be big i like it's like it's happening like this wedding is happening i can't believe it i'm like yeah we know it's happening because you talk about it every single week okay you don't try to act like you're above it like these things just are like falling into place like like oh like you don't really want to get engagement photos but like you just happen to get them or like oh my god like no you were just like every other blushing bride on tlc you want to have your big moment and you want to have it on tv we get it just be honest about it well you know one thing she was honest about the only thing i really care about with wedding the cake of course you do well thank you for at least being that much self-aware just like i don't care what happens but give me some fucking good cake all right yeah exactly um so then they have then we have the date with shuntal and the boring rich white guy who's like hey what do you like to do i like saving children have you ever seen a cat epitry if so call this number i'll be either right away with the latter love it love children love poor people too because they need me the most just got back from work at the soup kitchen it's like oh my god nothing says i have a small dick more than overdoing it with the charity you're all right guys mmm hmm what else okay then we get to take cancer in the hamptons oh yeah no no that was an awkward moment when they're all like they're they make it to the hamptons and everything is fine and dandy and they start to play truth or dare and um and jine was like hey why did you happen why did you happen to drink why did you drink and everyone's like sort of just ignores her the first time she says it you know and i was like i was even wondering the first time she said it i kept thinking to myself did she really just asked a woman with liver cancer to have a drink oh god it's not in your kidney masturbate yeah like she's like she's like you know we just took some taxes over here to the hamptons and i think we all deserve a drink from making it here without being beaten up and put into jail Daisy you start look how that cab driver is still waiting outside for me to pay him he doesn't get my money it's because i'm black oh my god so uh so i mean Geneva just kept on putting her foot in mouth i'm like i'm surprised you didn't say like come on have a drink what do you got liver cancer or something uh uh uh it's like being the st. Jude's hospital in here can i get a drink yeah so she doesn't get it so they're like oh i guess no one told her yeah that answer so Melissa and uh who tells her from listen to meet your intention to meet your it's like well you know that time when you didn't come to that lunch well i mean i guess i forgot to tell you but they can't just kind of a big deal okay woman who's constantly saying big deal over and over again answers a big deal you idiot Geneva's like i'm sorry i didn't see it on my fact sheet so maybe that's why i didn't know about it oh yeah so Geneva gets all sad and crying she's like i can't believe y'all would do me like this not tell me and Melissa's like okay well let's go back i guess um party okay come on yes so then they're like so then Daisy starts talking about and she starts sharing and then like Arzo says something to like Melissa or something just like she's like just you know i'm not a trader i'm just holding i'm just holding her dog i'm sorry and the kids just aren't laughing oh yeah and then they start laughing about other stuff and then it's about to get ugly now which by the way i have to say i actually didn't mind them joking on the side because they've heard it all before and Daisy's whole thing is is like i just want to be treated like normal so i think they're entitled to just have their own little conversation on the side right yeah they weren't laughing at her cancer for granted they were drunk too everyone was drunk i think you know i'm i'm really proud of Geneva for not just being like girl i thought you were just on the dot i was gonna ask you what it was can you give that to me can i get this is this something can i still have to masturbate can i still masturbate with liver cancer i have a question so when you have liver cancer is that include chopped liver or is it like just certain types of liver no i dated a cancer once oh man he was good at fucking i still think about him when i masturbate do you masturbate oh jimmy uh so it looks like we are going to get a few episodes about Daisy's cancer anger because now she's like how could you treat me like this i have cancer like oh no here we go and isn't her cancer in remission now i hope so because i think that she's crazy for continuing to to tape with these women when you when she has cancer like rest up girl yeah um so it was kind of a boring episode in a way i mean they didn't do a lot of things they wanted like you know that fucking Dimitriya cake-tasted at 20 different places for those free samples oh yeah she's probably Wendy's like give me a browning i'm like she's just thinking she's like she's like knocking on the entomens factory like uh i hear there's some samples in here i mean i can't believe this happened like going through the pizza place like i'm here for a wedding sample i'm getting married it's a big deal yeah she's like rating the the AMP clearance section where's the carrot cake where's the carrot cake that tastes like styrofoam i'm letting you so i think that pretty much wraps us up is there anything else you wanted to discuss um no our our dear friend and sometimes uh guest Angie Thomas wants us to mention the fact that Gigi Hadad is in Taylor Swift's new video you know oh oh i'm sorry i i heard Gigi and it's monday i mean oh did you think i said bella because i know bella makes people say you but she's not gorgeous like Gigi i had a goal nest a moment oh my god i know uh yo londa foster posts you have to follow her on instagram the only celebrities i follow on instagram are yo londa and david foster because they are so full of they're so far up their own asses um yo londa posts these pictures she's like look at my gorgeous bella in her movie poster for the new video that's coming out it's like gorgeous and then like a day later she'll put one of um bella in a magazine and she'll be like comparison is the worst enemy hashtag i love i love this one too hashtag anwar rob my feet anwar does not take your place in the home hashtag please come back hashtag i'm tired hashtag lemons don't work hashtag david almost suffocated me when he made me neck him hashtag we've sent anwar to calls for the third time today and he still keeps coming back oh yo londa hashtag i might just have to quit the real house watch the Beverly Hills here's a picture of my feet that's her new thing is like just showing her feet oh yeah hashtag anwar doesn't have feet like these hashtag anwar has no feet he's a robot he was supposed to be in he was supposed to be in the shape of bella because he's a robot he can ever be as beautiful as gg but then he turned out as a man now we don't know what to do with him i don't know what i'm talking about i still like it what else happened kenya morris sham of a relationship did we already talked about that last week um we already talked about him Richard's being officially charged with it right we talked about that last week i think maybe also on the bonus episode we talked about a lot of we got a lot of shit yeah we got a lot in right okay so i guess we're all done close it up babe yeah whatever we miss guess what another episode happening on thursday so thank you everyone for listening um you can find us on social media by going to watch rcrapins.com can support us on patreon.com/watchwhatcrapins people who support us get access to things like a bonus episode which today was a bonus episode was about like sex women sex women sex or something it's about gay people not understanding women sex or this gay there's probably like a 43 percent chance you may get offended by some of the things we said um and then we uh on thursday we have a hangout it's super fun watch our crappins on facebook one of the best places on the internet you gotta like us there and um until thursday see you later bye everybody if you like listening to comedy try watching it on the internet the folks behind the side show network have launched a new youtube channel called wait for it it's got interviews 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watch what crappins you can listen ad-free right now by joining wonderie plus in the wonderie app or on apple podcast prime members can listen ad-free on amazon music before you go tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wonderie dot com slash survey have you ever wondered who created that bottle of sriracha that's living in your fridge or why nearly every house in america has at least one game of monopoly introducing the best idea yet a brand new podcast about the surprising origin stories of the products you're obsessed with listen to the best idea yet on the wonderie app or wherever you get your
