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Find the perfect holiday card for you at Shutterfly.com and start customizing today. - Enjoy 40% off your Shutterfly order with promo code Crap and Sporty and send something meaningful this year. Get free shipping on qualified orders. See site for more details. Unlock your imagination with Audible when you listen to audio content in your mind is free to paint the scenes and feel the emotions of a great story. Plus, a great narrator can really take things to the next level. There's more to imagine when you listen. - Audible's extensive catalog is sure to have titles you'll enjoy, immerse yourself in captivating tales, learn from world-renowned experts and discover new perspectives, all while multitasking or relaxing. Right now, I'm listening to our friend Alaina Earkhartz, the butcher game. It's a sequel, it's fantastic, it's a serial killer cat mouse. I absolutely love her, I love what she's done and it's really cool and very beautifully told on the Audible version. - And as an Audible member, you choose one title a month to keep from their entire catalog. - New members can try Audible free for 30 days. Visit audible.com/crapins or text crapins to 500 500. That's audible.com/crapins or text crapins to 500 500. (upbeat music) ♪ Watch what you crappin' ♪ ♪ Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappins ♪ ♪ Grappins ♪ ♪ Grappins ♪ ♪ Grappin' ♪ ♪ Grappin' ♪ ♪ Grappin' ♪ ♪ Watch what you crappin' ♪ ♪ Watch what you crappin' ♪ ♪ Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappins ♪ ♪ Who cares what you crappin' ♪ ♪ Who cares what you crappin' ♪ ♪ Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappins ♪ (upbeat music) - Hey everyone, welcome to Watch what crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo. We just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker from bsideblog.com and The Bander Blender, and believe it or not, there's a new episode of The Bander Blender Up. Joining me this week is my trusty Avengers cohort, the Thor to my Iron Man, or maybe I'm the Thor to his Iron Man. Who knows? It's Ronnie Karam from Trash Talk TV. - Hello, no, I'm the Red One. I'm the confusing flush bot that no one can understand. - Oh, you're the vision. You're the vision to, so one of us is, does that mean one of us is Ultron? - People are like, why was he created again? - You're the yellow AI and I'm the blue AI. (laughing) - I'd settle for regular old I at some point. (laughing) I became my life a little cheap bet. - And I'm just A, I'm A all the way through. For those of you who have no idea what the hell we're talking about, we're talking about Avengers, and we just recorded our bonus episode for the week, and we spent nearly an hour talking about the latest Avengers movie. We kind of like gave it the Watch Our Crafts treatment, we tore it apart, so if you watch that movie, if you're one of the millions of people who watched it this weekend, we highly encourage you to go listen to our bonus episode because we had a really fun time. I'm actually still laughing about it. - And if you're mad because you don't know what's going on, and you're wasting your money on Patreon, that's how we felt when we were watching the Avengers. (laughing) So we've got that in common. - So if you do want to listen to that episode, that episode is a bonus episode. It's available to people, to our supporters on Patreon, patreon.com/watchourcrapins, and we thank everyone who supports us there. You can also follow us on Facebook, facebook.com/watchourcrapins. We have a really fun, active Facebook group there. Got to give a shout out, by the way, to the lovely ladies for crying out, the four crying out loud podcast, who had us on two episodes in a row. - Oh yeah, that's today. Our second one is today. We talked about transgendered children, and I don't know, they listed it in the description. I thought we talked about all of those things. (laughing) That's a lot of deep shit. That was in transgenderism, basically the last month of this show, but with other people talking to us. - Yeah, with the four of us together, it was basically like the podcast version of the Avengers. We destroyed several buildings with our banter. So thank you ladies for having us on. And if you are new to this podcast, 'cause you heard about us from that, like we say welcome. We hope you enjoy it. - Yeah, welcome everybody. They have great listeners over there, and welcome to the family. It's really good to see you on the Facebook page talking and stuff. - Yeah. - Also, I want to give a shout out to these two ladies. - Okay. - These people have been tweeting us like, "Hey, we gave you a shout out," and I was like, "Whatever." You know, I didn't even think twice of it, 'cause I just figured with someone wanting a plug, and I'm like, "What does a plug for me get?" Nothing. - Ah, six O-tron. - I just kind of ignored it, but then I was sitting here after smoking a marijuana cigarette one day, and I actually clicked on the link, 'cause I thought, "Well, that'll be fun "to listen to something new, "'cause I'd love me some podcasts." Okay, it is these two women in Georgia, and it sounds from listening to them, I'm thinking they're like deep in the country, and their husbands work far away, and there's no one else around, and they became friends, like, "That's how I'm imagining it in my head. "I don't know if that's true or not." Anyway, K-Mac, and, oh God, what's the other one's name? Anyway, Real Housewives of the OTP. These ladies, basically, it's another Real Housewives podcast, which, you know, I don't need to listen to more Housewives. I've got enough of that in my life, so I thought I would just turn it off, but these ladies are so funny. They're just these girls, okay, this is their podcast. Girl. (all laughing) One of them says, "Girl." She's like, "Girl, what are you doing today? "Girl, let me tell you what I did today." What? I went to TJ Maxx. I loved TJ Maxx. Me too, girl. Girl, I got me a mattress topper, and she's like, "Really?" She's like, "Girl, a mattress topper, you never hurt." I mean, this thing is amazing, and the other one's like, well, we have a Tempur-Pedic mattress, and I love it, but the thing about it is I love those warm blankets that you kind of love with, electric blankets, and you can't use that on a Tempur-Pedic, and she's like, "Girl, really?" I fell in love with these girls. I listened to the whole thing, so guys, listen to that. If you want to laugh real Housewives of the OTP, and thank you guys for supporting us, and please keep talking about your mattresses, and they were like making fresh drinks in their house, I thought, "I want to live like this." I want to sit in the country and talk about my mattress, and have a friend who's always like, "Girl, why?" You should put a link on our Facebook page so people can find them easily. Yeah, it's just the Real Housewives of OTP, so look that up on iTunes, in case I forget, which I probably will. Anyway, thanks, girls, you guys are really funny, and you're doing a great job. Yeah, we really love all the support we've been getting recently. And on today's episode, we're gonna talk about Real House of Atlanta, we're gonna talk about Blood, Sweat, and Heels. We'll talk about Real Housewives of Melbourne, maybe not necessarily in that order, but we'll talk about that stuff. Also, on Thursday's episode, unless any scheduling things happen, Michelle Collins is gonna join us, which is very exciting. She's fresh off, coasting the view. And I'm so excited to talk to her. I haven't talked to her since she's become like real famous. I knew her when she was kind of famous, but now she's like real life famous. She, for those of you who don't know who Michelle Collins is, she's like the funniest person that I know, for sure. Funnyer than Ronnie. She's great. She's so funny. I just sit here and listen to her the whole time. I'm not even gonna have to talk. Yeah, so that's something to look forward to. And then we may have some other exciting guests coming up in-- Yes, but I don't trust it anymore, so I'm just gonna wait. Yeah, we don't, we don't, yes. That's why I'm not saying. That's why I'm not saying. Unfortunately, we're gonna have someone really big here, and it's gonna be amazing. So we'll see that when we get to it, but that's not plugging, I think so. Thank you, Steph. Let's talk about some shows, girl. Oh, yes. So which one do you wanna start with, Ronnie? Oh, my goodness. I was a note machine. Oh, wow. I cannot stop writing notes. So whatever it is, watch out, because I got a lot to say. Well, while we start with Atlanta, that's the biggest one of the week, right? Yes. Okay, blood, sweat, and heels. I think I watched Atlanta after that. I have to figure out how to turn these notebooks where you just turn it over instead of turning the page, because I can never tell which pages before the other one. Does that make sense? Yeah, I do. I just keep turning over the notebook, and I'm like, "Wait, I was just on this page." And I turn it, but I've gone backwards a week. Notebooks, difficult. Yes. Okay, so let's start with Atlanta. Yes, okay, well, I think that the, the reunion just kind of like the second episode, it just was firing right out of the gate, because it started off with Andy being like, "Oh, you know, I just had a memory to last year's reunion." And Nini and Kenya, you guys had like a bet. You were going to donate to a charity. Did you guys do that? And Kenya's like, "Yes, I wrote a check to the Detroit Public School, whatever it was." And then, and she's like, "Oh, Nini, did you donate?" And she's like, "I will when I am ready." Yeah, I will when I'm ready. And she goes, "She, that check that Kenya wrote, I mean, who posts a check on social media?" Like, that was real, well, it's still a check. She was posting it to show that you didn't post yours, you dumb, dumb, I'm not going to stand up for Kenya, but I'm not going to make a mockery out of charity by donating money just because Kenya put something on social media. I'm not going to make a mockery of charity. Certainly Nini has these like, these somehow standards and modesty. He's moralistic for not giving money to charity. I love it. Yeah, I've got the morals here. I didn't give money to that charity. Well, you sure so, Nini, you go, girl? Yeah, girl, by the way, donating to charity and bragging about it is like as old as charity itself. Why do you think there's like a list of donors on every single charity thing? Why do you think there's lists of patrons? It's because people want credit for donating to charity. So whether it's on social media or on the back of a program or a name on a building, that's what you do. What do they call those things that Irish time? They're like the Irish leaf. What is it? Oh, you're full leaf. Your cardboard, four leaf, flow her up and Ross dressed for less for giving a dollar. I've got five of those. Yeah, I mean, seriously, and the truth is that if Kenya did not put the thing on social media, people would think that she's lying, you know? So if I didn't put that up, people wouldn't believe that I donated to people. Now people are in line at Ross like, Ronnie, he did it. He did it for the children. I just can't believe Nini is now an advocate for modesty when it comes to anything. Like Nini, the one who yells, "I'm rich bitch, I'm rich bitch." And now obviously it's just like, no, that's just, I don't like to brag about my work. Giving nothing, I'm bragging about it on TV. I know, when she's ready, what does she have to be ready for? I mean, what is just to get into some sort of fugue state to be able to donate? But I also love that Kenya is such an asshole too. I mean, you cannot choose sides between those two 'cause Kenya's just off. I mean, she's a horrible human being. When they show back her clips, and then the things she said during this one, she's just really rock bottom that girl. But this is why it wasn't hilarious 'cause it's both of them being their true selves. I mean, their true selves were completely on display in this. You've got Nini on one side bragging about not giving money and then just going, "Oh, I must not have any money. "I'm poor, I'm poor." She just keeps yelling, "Oh, I must be so poor. "Yeah, I'm poor. "I'm worried about $20,000 'cause I'm poor." And then you've got Kenya, on the other hand, with her Miss You Know America or whatever, going, "Nini, this is an important platform. "It's for the children of Detroit, "and it's important that we all come together "to support the children of Detroit." - But that's what I love about Kenya 'cause she's like the biggest bullshit artist. If there's anyone who can get that violent plane, she's like, "I just thought that if Nini "would donate to charity, I thought that "would just like sort of solve all the problems, "but I guess she didn't see it that way. "So, oh well." - Have you seen pictures of Detroit since you didn't give that money? It is in dish repair! - You know, Kenya should have been Ultron and Avengers. She was like, "I just thought you wanted to elevate humanity "and evolve humanity to protect the world, "but I guess you just don't want to destroy humans." - Okay, that's fine. - Oh, so, then we moved on to the Cynthia's big change this year because Cynthia has a voice now and she's blah, blah, blah, and they, to prove it, they showed a clip of Kenya going, "Oh, look at you, you're so different. "What's different about you? "I like you now 'cause she's a cunt now. "That's the different. "It's not a new wig. "It's a new cutiness, okay? "That is what you..." - Guys, twice in a row. - Twice. - I'm sorry. - I didn't even feel it coming on. - I was waiting. - I was constering in my stomach and then it comes out and I regret it, but I didn't even feel that coming. I need to get some manners. - Sounds like you just had a training session in a cut fitness. I said, "Cut fitness." The cuddiest fitness of all, all the biggest cuts of orange county go to cut fitness. - You're gonna come into cut fitness, but then you're gonna see that all of those shells aren't stocked with towels and you're gonna, the end is gonna light up on the neon side. - And as in, the end stands for nothing on the shelves. (laughing) - Okay, so then we went into Cynthia's big change. - I'm sorry, I'm still laughing that we were continuing to make jokes about Tamara's empty shelves at her fitness studio like a year later and we are still just as delighted. We're like, "Huh, got her again over those empty shelves." - It's just so funny that that's a real house to watch the story of life. - What am I gonna talk about this week? I can't talk about my kids and no one's in town to start a fight with. I'm gonna get mad at my son about stalking the shelves. - No, it was that the son wanted to put stuff on the shelves and he's like, no, I don't like merchandising the shelves, it looks too cluttered. It's like, "Idiot, what are the shelves there for?" (laughing) - Okay. - The sell shelves. - The new story line on Real Housewives. - Uh, shelves, silver, silver. - Tamara got re-signed, guys. - Oh my goodness. So anyway, sorry. - So, the thing is big change, okay. This was funny to me because mostly I took notes on it and I steadily note the segment was about because Cynthia really didn't do anything the whole season except Be a Bitch anyway. - Yeah. - So, I don't, I mean, I guess the good part was Nini's response when Andy said, "Do you think she's changed?" And Nini said, "No, she always had a voice. "Everyone says she didn't always have a voice, "but she's always been a bitch. "She was just doing it more quietly around everybody else." - Yeah. - It was a good answer. - It was good. - Well, she didn't say a bit. She just was bad, but she passed the mentality. - Basically. - Yeah, she basically was like, "No, people just always, she did it and same time "she victimized herself." She's like, "People just come after me. "I don't know why, but Cynthia's always had a voice." - Oh, good. - And then it cut back to my favorite clip of the season. "Peter, are you telling me that Bader's been having "an affair with a stripper named Chocolate?" (laughing) - God, will you say that every day when I wake up? I need to make that my name. - Yeah, that's the, that's the, - I think that is one of the ringers, actually. (laughing) - So where, I forgot what I was talking about. - So, I don't know, one point, like Nini and Cynthia start to fight. And I just have, I just have it written down. I guess that Nini make fun of, made fun of the Bailey Agency. And then Cynthia's like, "Honey, I am making dreams come true for these girls." - Oh my God. - For a small price. I'm telling not need fat girls that they have a chance. - Okay, isn't that worse, something? - Yeah, she's like, "I am teaching girls how to be waitresses at the Waba Grill." - When. (laughing) - Peter Sproupe. - So when, right before this happened, Phaedra and Cynthia went off, because one of Cynthia's bitchy things was that she, she started all this chocolate stuff. Which of course, Cynthia didn't do anything. She just brought the story to Phaedra to be nice because her husband was talking about it on camera and then she talked about it with all the girls on camera and then showed all this evidence on camera. I didn't do anything. That wasn't me, I was just talking about the thing. But when Phaedra kind of explained her situation, I mean, I like Phaedra anyway, but Phaedra is a shady, fatty bitch. She is, let's face it. But I still like her. And I felt bad during this part, even though I know she's shady, because she does have a point when she said, "Here I come, I'm coming to this dinner with these women. "The night before my husband is on the lamb, "coming up with a drill, whatever." I think she said that later. But anyway, she gets on a fight with Cynthia and then Kenya of course tries to make her her own fight and she's like, "You've always made fun of me "for not having a husband." Well, look, now where's yours? You don't have one either. - Like, oh God, really now. You're wanting her to be so sensitive about Apollo going to jail, but now you're using it as a lame put down on the show. Come on, guys. - Yeah, exactly. I did enjoy though when Cynthia was like coming at Phaedra and she's like, "Win a case, win a case." That was good. - Yeah. - That was like for one line that she planned like five days ago. - Yeah, 'cause she said it 20 times. - Win a case. - Yeah. - Win a case. - Yeah. - How does she know what Phaedra is, one or not one? - We saw Phaedra take a suitcase of cash from a drug dealer in a parking lot of a TJ Maxx, okay? If that's not winning, I don't know what it is. - Yeah, I forgot about that. And Phaedra's just cheating. - It's not a promise check. That was not your husband taking money out your account and figuring out all of your numbers because they're all one, two, three, four, or two, three, four, five, or five, five, four, four. It's something more grounded than your husband stealing from your case. We actually saw the woman with a suitcase of cash. So I wish Phaedra would just grow a pair and say, "You get your suitcase of cash and then come talk to me, bitch." - Yeah, seriously. - Then the thing is, I could barely follow the back and forth between Cynthia and Phaedra and all that. It was sort of like, to me, it was like the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over. - My favorite part of it, I keep saying my favorite part, but I mean, they're all my favorite parts. I love Atlanta. - Yeah. - But my other favorite part in this was when Phaedra goes, "Oh, really? How many jobs have you got?" And then they're like, "Oh, I have jobs. Oh, really? How many?" Because I have a funeral home. I'm a lawyer. I start listing all their jobs. It was like that in living-color thing that Jamaican family. - Yeah. - It was like, "How many jobs you got? I got 10 jobs. Oh, he only got nine jobs. Lazy, lazy one in the family." - Isn't that bragging about who has the worst career? It's like, okay, normally, I think probably, one would imagine that if you have one job that's really good, you don't need to get other jobs, ideally, right? But if you have like- - I'm pulling pieces together from 10 different jobs that we can't just one. - It's like, right now, I have several jobs that I have, and that's like, it's like not good. Like, I want to cut the jobs down. I want to have one job that earns me enough money that I don't need to pick up other jobs. - Yeah, only women on housewives shows brag about how many jobs they have 'cause none of them are real. - Yeah, exactly. - I love when Andy brings up the plus-size model. Andy was very shady in this. I'm really like- - He's hiding behind his cards. He was like- - I'm loving shady, Andy, 'cause he used to avoid all of these difficult questions and try and trick other people into asking them, and he's asking them, and I like that. But he said, "What about that plus-size model comment?" And then they show Phaedra saying, "Well, I'm very upset with Cynthia for acting like this. "I used to really like her. "My mother would even order clothes "from the plus-size model catalog "or the plus-size catalog." And then Phaedra's like, "Well, she wasn't a plus-size catalog. "I wasn't being mean. "My mother really did order clothes "from the plus-size catalog." And Cynthia is so stupid. Her whole plan is just to be mean and argue with everything, and that's her thing the whole season. None of her arguments make any sense. She's not even involved in any of the arguments. So this is her argument. She's like, "Well, to even say that, "to even say that, "I mean, you have to be a size eight "to be a plus-size model, okay? "And I used to do..." Well, actually, you know, I did do some plus-size modeling. And thank you. Thank your mother. Tell your mother, thank you. What are you even saying, Cynthia? Yeah. Do you even know why you're mad? Shut the fuck up. You're at least, your ass is at least a size eight. So stop. She's so scattered that she sounds like she probably had like one too many cups of Peter's brew. Just a little bit, a little bit too much Folgers. Too many Folgers, crystals, and that's Cafe. You're right in here. Whatever I found in the trash from yesterday. There was some coffee grants and a peppermint that I spit out. It's a blend of Folgers, crystals, and Maxwell House, and A&P generic coffee brand. I'm a shredded receipt from the ATM. Did I tell you about that? We have a tough year, our Mr. Coffee broke. So we have some inventory we have to take care of. It's more overhead. Got some overhead. I found a stack of filters under the highway, next to bar one. So, it's a boon for Peter's brew. (laughing) Peter, Peter's brew. I'm looking at my notes. Sorry, I'm just trying to figure out where we are. It's okay. I get an happens on this show. It's like what fight are we in? What fight are we in now? Now who's versus who? Yeah. I'm like, it's okay. I can make some jokes about coffee mate. Do you want? (laughing) Like, oh, we got our own artisanal coffee mate here. It's purchased from Shoprite. I took the hazelnut cream from Batu. Yeah. So I went to a diner and took a whole bunch of little cream packets. So we're gonna do okay for 2014, 2015. Peter. (laughing) Peter's brew. Candy's face during the montage. Okay, so then they showed a montage of how Neenie and Phaedra are now friends. And one of the scenes they showed was Phaedra trying to be all break downy and emotional while Neenie sitting across from her and her Braddock Frankenstein wig nodding her head. Yes. And Phaedra saying, "It doesn't matter who's your friends in the good time. It's who's your friends in the bad time that really counts." And Neenie's nodding her head. And I just thought that was the funniest thing because then they show a picture of Candy sitting there in the reunion with her with this distinct face. Yeah. I'm like, "Ew." She's like, "I love Candy." No. Phaedra. This turns into the Candy and Phaedra fight, which isn't a fight because Phaedra sits there silent because she's like, "It hurts my feelings." And then Candy starts sobbing and Candy cannot fake it. She cannot be a bitch on TV. She can just display her real feelings and it sounded like-- It sounded like bad AM radio. Like you're just driving out of the reception area. She's like, "No, you know." I'm like, "This is fine." You know what? I had a play and the play was closing. I had to tell people that it was fine. And I was like, "See, now I have a road to do." And I wasn't even trying to be like that but that's people. But that's okay. The end of "Phaedra." - Phaedra. - Phaedra. - Is that straw coming in and out of the Starbucks cup? - Yeah. - Phaedra. - See? - See? - Phaedra. - Phaedra. - It's like, "Hey, hey, I don't want-- "Do you never reach out to me at any time?" Oh, it was being like, "I am my own thing going on." - So "Phaedra" stayed silent, at least for that part. And then Andy brings up Shiree and Kim. And he's like, "Well, you've had fights before on the show. "I mean, Shiree, Kim." And he's like, "Well, listen. "Here's the difference. "Back in those days, the golden days, "which were like two years ago. "It's like, those women had limitations." They wouldn't say, as I first of all, you're saying those women had limits. Limitations is a whole different word. Like, you know-- - No, I think she meant they have. I took it as, well, of course, I'm attributing good English to her, but I was thinking that she was saying the producers put limitations on them. Like, they weren't allowed to go after each other. Like, they are now. That's how I took it. - No, no, that's two things. - No, she just, she confused limits with limitations. I was thinking, I didn't even write that down. I was like, you know what? And so, it's like, it's so like vloggy and to be like, oh, she said limitations instead of limits. But I'm like, you know what? I'm not even gonna let me need to have that. I'm not gonna give any. I'm gonna come down on her for everything that she deserves to become down on. She's not even willing to give money to Detroit because of some, because she probably doesn't have it and because of some stupid pride thing. I'm gonna come down on her for using limitations incorrectly. I mean, of course, I've used words incorrectly many, many times, but that's okay. I'm allowed to be critical too. - I've got it constantly, yeah. But yeah, with Mimi, it's annoying 'cause she's trying to sound so smart all the time and she's not. But also that other thing about cutting the check for Detroit, one thing that made me worried about that was taxes because I don't know if Mimi's paying her taxes because most rich people want to give to charity because they need the right off to pay less taxes, right? - Right. - What the fuck, Mimi? You paying your taxes? - She's, you know what? Listen. - You heard it here first. - Greg Leaks is not the model of financial wisdom. You know, I don't know if you remember, but season one of Atlanta, after season one was done, all this news came out about Greg Leaks and how he was like this shady landlord and there were all these like crazy things that came out about him. And his image has been sort of like rebranded as like the purse carrier, like this sort of like happy-go-lucky stupid purse-carrying guy, but he is like a shady motherfucker and he doesn't know what he's doing with money. And so I would not be surprised if they're not paying taxes, et cetera. And by the way, I would bring like Bravo, as soon as Nini said like, "If I saw Shirei at the gas station, I would just say hi." And that's it. I'm like, okay, you have to bring Shirei back onto this show, like you have to have to have to. - Oh, please let them bring Shirei. - Why, why would they not? - I know that she can't build Shirei or Chateau Shirei anymore, I get it, you know, I'll leave her alone for that, but at least give her enough money to get her bet, her son off that mattress on the floor. - I know, please. - Give a bit. Please. - That's still what I worry about with Shirei. Every time I think of that, I think of that small apartment and then that kid sleeping on the floor and then that fight she had with her big, stupid husband, who's like that big, gigantic kind of pinhead guy - Yeah, Bob with you. - by my Tyson. - Yeah. - Oh, no. I thought, oh God, I just feel bad for Shirei. - Yeah, no, she. - Yama could not fix her life. - She couldn't do it. Yama's not a miracle worker, people. - They've got, they've got to bring her back and they need to like, I hate that Bravo is giving Nini all this power. Like, if the rumors are true that they don't bring back Shirei because Nini's there, I mean, that's just, it's not right. No one cares about Nini. The show is not, I know Nini has her fans, but if she leaves the show, the show is not dead. - Oh, it's gonna be fine. Oh, and Nini saying that these women had their limits or their limitations. - Shirei was chasing you out of a restaurant. - Pulling on Kim's wig. - She pulled, tried to pull Kim's wig off her head. What limitation is that? - Oh, love it. - I love this show. - Let's see, let's see. - Shade and shady shade. Oh, there's a difference between shade and shady shade. I like that, like some of the times she makes critical comments. It's just because she's being funny, and sometimes she's being serious, and who cares, I hate her. Husbands, the husband's come on. - Oh God, I love him. - Can someone please get taught a bigger stool and also don't put him behind the highest part of the couch? He looked like this little big headed puppet popping out from behind the couch. - He, all you could see were like little eyes. He looked like one of the green aliens from Toy Story, but with like a little fro on top. He's like, he's off. - Guys, the witch is coming, the witch is coming. He's like, yeah, I sold a show, and you know, things are okay. - Can't you tell I sold a show? I'm wearing a jacket with plastic sleeves that are quilted. What else do you need, Andy? Yes, I've sold a show. - Yeah, and then I love Peter. He's like, first of all, I'll give a fuck about what any of these ladies are up to. But that being said, I wanna know about this, and I wanna know, he gets immediately into the gossip. He's like, I don't give a fuck, and then he gets right in. (laughing) - My very bad, because Peter's still a bitch. I like that that caller named themselves Lou Peter. - Yeah, Lou Peter. - And he just cackles, and I liked it again. - All of y'all, and you know what? I know you got something to say, Nimi, 'cause you always got something to say. - Sucking his toothless gum in the back. - So say it, Nimi, say it. - Oh, really? Okay, Uncle Ben, you're gonna come on now and start bowling a woman on TV. I mean, I know it's Nimi, but still, back to fuck down, you're sucking your teeth and threatening women on TV. Why don't you just go simmer for a while until you're fully cooked and ready to be eaten? - And I'm always so conflicted with this perpetual, like every season, there's this issue of say, out of the business, it's women, this is the women. I mentioned being involved in women's business, and then there's like, part of me that's like, that's so like, it's like upholding stupid, sexist rules of men talk about men stuff, women talk about women stuff. So I get so mad at that, the part of me is like-- - Well, that didn't be in women's fights like that. - But then part of me is like, ugh, but like, he really does like getting involved. He really, really does. Unlike us. - A new women's business, I'm getting involved in is one, I can run into the ground with my wife's money. - Yeah, and then I do love Kenya, of course. Kenya's, she's so funny. She's like, well, you know, they're talking about a posh. Like, you know, we all flirt. I mean, Nimi's flirted with Peter, and Nimi's like, hoe, hoe, hoe, hoe, hoe. - Oh! - Nimi got so pissed. Kenya knows how to push Nimi's buttons, like no one else. - She sure does. She knows how to push everybody's buttons. That's why she'll be on TV forever. - Yeah, because like, Nimi was trying to do that, what we knew she was trying to do, she tried to do that whole circus. He's like, I'm the bad one. I'm the bad one. You're all right. - All right, I'm poor. - Yeah, man, poor. - But then Kenya, Kenya knows how to cut right through that. So easily. - Oh, he's got a lot of Greg's beats. What did he say? - You know, here's what I think. I don't care about a woman's business, but what I do care is about a woman, and how a woman cares herself. And a man is supposed to be behind his woman. She looks over her right shoulder, and she knows I'm there. I'm there with a tic-tac. I'm there with some lip gloss. I'm there with a maxi pad, in case she needs it. And that is what a man is for. - Like, okay, Greg, Jesus Christ, take it on the road, Jesus. Calm down over there, Greg. He's like holding a purse behind her. - You need anything, babe? - He's just so stupid. He's just stupid. I'm sorry. He's just a very stupid man. - But what about that Mr. Chocolate fight? Oh, everybody's got him now. Oh, everybody's got an African prince now. That was a rumor about me. That was a rumor about so-and-so. And Kenya's like, oh, yeah. Remember when everybody hated me? I started the African prince trend, okay? And now everybody's trying to take credit. It's like, congratulations, Kenya. You started the trend of everybody thinking you're a whore. You sure did. Way to take credit for that. Okay, one point to Kenya, everybody. Let's give her that. - Yeah, seriously. You're paid. No, no, so stupid. So stupid. - And listen, by the way, if you have a vagina and you want to sell it or rent it to somebody for a while, that is your business and you are free to do that. And if you want to get a purse with your vagina, what the hell else? Why not? You're not having any babies with that thing. What the hell else are you going to do with it? You pee out of it for Christ's sake. Get your purse, girl. - Yeah. - You go, Horace. I'm with you. - I agree. - Trust me, if I had a penis that could sell, I would be out on the street right now. I wouldn't be talking about these women. I'd be standing in front of the donut time. - That's right. Ridiculous. Rondiculous. - Rondiculous. - Yeah, so this is a part when, oh wait, what is it? Denied, denied, denied. - I believe it 'cause I've seen it. - I don't know why I wrote that down. I just love Peter's version of English. So cute. I hope he writes his own menu. - Yeah. - It'll be called "A Late." - I hope someone in Atlanta goes to Peter's brew. Oh, I wonder if it's up yet. I'm gonna look for Yelp reviews. I'm gonna do, I'm going to Yelp right now. Peter, I like when, I like when Fajor was just describing why she was so stressed at that thing. She's like, well, it wasn't just the Mr. Chocolate thing. It was also that Apollo was on the lamb and then he came at me with the power drill and then there were workmen at my home and he tripped over the gate. It still doesn't close right. It's like, oh geez, Fajor, crime me a river. I'm doing a search. I'm doing a search for, oh, Peter's brew, Jamaican Gourmet Coffee. There is a website. I'm going to it right now. I'm hoping that there's, oh God. There's like a, it's like a picture of his face, like as-- - Oh, who wants to drink that? - It looks like it's, it looks like it's actually like-- - Come to Peter's brew, where gum health isn't important. - It's, oh, so it looks like it's actually just like a coffee. It's not like a, it's not a brick and mortar thing and it goes, so the website has like, you can buy, you can buy like curig type of Peter's brew things, which is sort of fun because I like the idea of like, sticking his faces on it and I like the idea of like, sticking something right through his face. You can buy-- - Every time you pop one in, money comes out of your bank account. - Yeah. There's a Jamaican, you can buy for like $15, you can buy some of the beans and you can do this and that. And then it says, served at Sports One, Bar and Lounge. She's like, great. I always wondered what the coffee was they served at Bar One and what it was. - Jesus. - He just brew. - No. - The whole flirting with my husband thing was the next, this Kenyan Phaedra thing. First of all, Kenya was flirting with him. Everybody saw it, the cameraman made a mockery of it, the editors made a mockery of it. She made an ass out of herself flirting with the man. That's why she got mad in the first place. And Andy spoke for America when he said, "Haven't we already been through all of this?" Yes, Andy, and we're still going through it. Have you heard about Kim's house being stolen? - Yeah, well. - We're gonna be going through it for the next 30 years. - Hey Andy, you don't have a right to say, haven't we already gone through this? You are the producer of the show. You are the one causing this to happen over and over again. You're the one asking these questions and you're the one who keeps on like instigating these scenes. - He's like, "Haven't we seen this already?" Roll a clip, roll a clip. I wanna see it again. I almost said my favorite thing. I need to stop with this Julie Andrews crap. I love when he said, "Oh, what were they fighting about? "Kiny and Fage, and let me remember." Oh, you're such a hypocrite. And you're talking about standing by your man, blah, blah, blah. You got your boobs done while he was still waiting to go to jail. Who cares? Why is it bad to get your boobs done? Would it have been better to get your boobs done when he's in jail? What the fuck is your point? If she's doing anything, she's giving him something to play with before he goes to prison. If he's not still at the strip clubs playing with their fake tits. What are you so mad about? What is the fight here? Yeah, go get your boobs done. Make him be mad that that's what he's missing out on. He's probably glad she's in bed for a couple of weeks. What the hell? Yeah, exactly. I don't know. These fights are so angry and they're so, they just get so vitriolic over the dumbest things you've got your boobs done. Who cares? And did she get her boobs done? And why are they the same little orbs if she did? 'Cause those are kind of weird boobs, I'm like weird. They're nice. They're just like weird little orbs. But I'm not handy, so let's not talk about boobs anymore. Yeah, yeah. There are a lot of boobs on this reunion. So did anything else happen? I just can't remember anything else. I just remember really basically candy, like crying. Let me see. Well, I don't know if anything else could happen. I've got a lot more notes. Let me see. Blah, blah, blah. Nini's sad. Nini and Peter flirted. The Nini starts that shouting thing where she just goes, "Hooooo-da!" Yeah. Her voice gets all deep and rounded. She's like, "Hooooo-da!" "Hooooo-da!" Reams at the top of her lungs, to the point where people are just laughing at her. Laughing at her. "Sinderella!" You ain't gonna disrespect me and my husband. I just did blah, blah, blah. "Blah, Nini, just yells, yells, yells, yells, yells." Nini, Nini, Nini, Nini, you know, you are inherently disrespected by going on this show and by existing in pop culture. Yeah, you're disrespected because you're a disrespectful human being, okay? If you don't want to be treated like a child, then stop acting like one, okay? And also put your glitter boobs away, Nini. Nobody needs that. Yeah. Her boobs are about to fly out of that thing when she gets mad. Yeah. All right, so Nini's boobs staying in her jacket aside. What's moving on? Let's move on. What would you like to do next? Blood, sweat, and heels? I would like to go to Real House's Melbin. Melbin? Melbin. His wife's of Melbin? Yeah. Or I think let's do it then, darling. Oh, darling. Darling, have you seen my electronic drawers lately? Oh, my God. Well, it starts with Jackie telling her husband about the fight. Oh, yeah. That's couture. That's couture, darling. It's couture. I sort of like zoned out at this scene. It's not very couture. It's very couture. I sort of zoned out at this scene because it was just like, why are we recapping the fight from two episodes ago or one episode? I was just like-- I think it's fun to hear the recaps because I like to hear their versions. She's like, well, we've been having dinner and then Gina was there and, you know, Gina gets upset and then, you know, how Gina sometimes says something and I just got upset and, you know, I said, fuck off and I should really shouldn't have done it. Should I have, darling? Like, that kind of wasn't it. You should have been like, I got shit faced on tequila and then got into a fight that wasn't about me about some book I ain't never going to read because, you know, I don't even read the comics and the paper and then I started yelling fuck you at somebody I wasn't even in a fight with. How about that for a story? Shine, shine, shine, shine. Shine, shine, shine. You know, the demons, the demons, somebody go after Gina or I couldn't help, it was the demons I was possessed. Has that ever happened to you in silver chair? Silver chair. It's like when you play in the drums, darling, and you get possessed by that rhythm. Gina's my rhythm, darling. She's the kick drum, darling. It's like that weird feeling when you think you're sitting on a silver chair, but you're sitting on a gold chair and you're like, no, this isn't my silver chair. Shut the fuck up. The demons have gotten into my chair. Gina's the folding chair to your silver chair. Yeah. She's like a hammock. You think you're sitting in a silver chair but you're sitting in a threaded hammock. Also, I enjoy those scenes where they're recapping to the husbands to see the husband's reaction. Husbands never care. 'Cause they're always trying to just agree with a wife and I like when he said, you know, it's Jackie. She's always got a very strong opinion and I'm always the first one to get it so you can consider me her ozone layer. You know, I'm keeping all the gas in under the blanket, smelling it on my own. You know, it's like, Jackie's basically a fart under the blanket and I'm the blanket. So you're welcome. I'm gonna change my bad name to silver ozone. 'Cause we're a nose on layer. Thanks for our balance. I sold the Avengers and this woman had gled plug and power in her hand and I thought, where can I get one of those? She, I had a vision. She had, she'd been given Jackie visions all this time. I didn't realize that. I thought she had psychic abilities. It turns out that one of the Olsen sisters, she's been just getting into her brain with a power. I didn't realize. So Chica looking at the remodeled home of Lydia, which hilarious. And Chica's like, I rather liked it a lot. I thought it was rather cute, which is what she says about everything. She always got from the made bus outside, that bus that you made brought. Seeing you some flowers off of it, I hope you don't mind. Do you realize like every week someone likes to show something off to Chica? They're like, "So I invited Chica over to show us something." And Chica's like, "Oh, I thought I liked it a lot. "I think you did a really wonderful job here." I think it's great. Chica's the only one on the car seat not shooting scenes with anybody. Like, "Chica, have any drama?" Nope. I love everyone. Then you're gonna go look at a remodel. It's great, I love a dishwasher or a fool. Like, "Hey Chica, I just bought some new crackers. "You wanna come look okay? "Oh, I rather like these crackers, Chica. "Thanks." They're on sale. "Oh, I rather like them a lot. "They're really wonderful. "I should bring some brussey." I hope you like the remodel. We've worked really hard on it. I like the mix between old and new. Oh, you must mean that portrait of you and your husband. I like that quite a lot. Lydia's like, "Oh, this counter is made from one slab of marble. "It took 10 people to carry it in, "and they're all my daughters now." "You should see all the trees being planted in the yard." "It took five handyman to install these five dishwashers, "and now they're my children too." "Wait until you see the stove. "I had to buy new pots." And Chica's like, "Oh, that must have been difficult." Chica's like, "Oh, I rather like these pots a lot. "It's wonderful. They did a wonderful job." "Yeah, great work." "What if you named the dishwasher darling?" "Yeah, when he has two dishwashers, "because I don't have time to do the dishes. "I just don't do it." "You have time to do the fucking dishes." "Oh, no, she doesn't have time to wait for the dishes "to come out of the dishwasher." And Chica is so nice. She's like, "Well, you know, "some people have 45 dishwashers, and if they can, "they're more pam or two of them." I'm like, "No, Chica, it's not like that." Like, okay, fine, have to be like Aina Garten, because you know, I don't know if you ever saw-- - You know Aina Garten uses that shit, 'cause she eats. So you know that after dinner and Aina's house, she needs four dishwashers, okay? She also needs four digestive tracts. - Well, the thing that's hilarious about Aina Garten is that in her cookbook, how easy is that? She has a section of tips, tips to make life easier. And one thing is, wrap things in this, or one thing is set this aside ahead of time. And one of her tips is, get a second dishwasher. She's like, "Trust me, it'll help so much." I'm like, "Oh, I didn't realize. "That's all I have to do. "I'll just like install a dishwasher in my kitchen "that has no space for a second dishwasher." Like, oh, that's it. She also has in that cookbook sheet. One of her recipes is foie gras. You know, foie gras is like famously so different. Like, if you buy like a foie gras, like gland or globe, whatever it is, you have to like, take out all the little veins. It's like famously very intricate and time-intensive. And she's like, "How easy is that?" Just, you know, get a save some time, get a duck and force-feed him, she knows yourself. Why wait for a farmer to do it? - Hell, I know. Poor people don't do that, don't I? Look at the candles in my ass. Look at the candles. Okay, this is a perfect example of how lost Chica is sometimes on this show. Then they cut to Chica's testimonial or diary room session or whatever. And this is Chica's response. - I love candles. I think that candles can really brighten a room. They bring a sense of warmth and wax to a room. If you've got a candle, you've got a fire. - All right, thanks Chica. Glad you showed up for shooting today. - She's like, "Hell!" She's like, "You know what's funny about candles?" I noticed that a lot of moths are drawn to them. It's like moths and flames. They just are drawn to each other. Have you ever noticed that before? I want to tell them off. - Moth, you could be killed by that flame if you get too close. Ah, but moths are like humans. They learn by experience. A moth's not gonna know to touch a stove until it gets burnt on it. Let your moth touch the stove every once in a while. - You know what's funny if you blow out a candle? It's just so, it just goes out so quickly. It's almost like life. It's almost like, you know it. Like if someone like Marilyn Monroe, someone who dies really early, they're almost like a candle in the wind. - That's even too deep because it's just like, I love candles. It's like, I love curtains. You know curtains, sometimes they're open and the sunlight comes in and sometimes you close them if you want to sleep later and you like your room dark. - Thanks, Jika. - You know what's great about a ball? Is that because they're rounded nature, you could put a bunch of things in them and they don't roll away. I cut up vegetables one time and I thought, what am I gonna put these in? If I put them on a plate, they're gonna spill all over the place and I thought a bowl, whoever invented bowls, thank you. - You know, one thing that I love about Lydia's spoons is that you can put them in some soup and all the soup won't run through it like a fork. You can just actually carry the soup into your mouth with them. - Also, they're really wonderful for heating up heroin. - Thanks, thanks for coming by, Jika. Thanks. - I love though, I love that Lydia is so lazy that she has to install electronically opening drawers. Like she can't open them herself, she has to push a bunch they roll out and then she laughs, she's like, it does make me wonder what will happen if electricity grows out. I was like, you think that was the very first thing I thought about, like good luck getting to your first aid kit after the great Melbourne earthquake and it stuck in the electronic drawer that won't open. - What if I need a spoon? - Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. - You start laughing. - She's like, what if I need a spoon? - She's like, that Alainis Morissette song really spoke to me. - Mm-hmm. - It's like 10,000 knives, which I have. I actually bought 10,000 knives. - Fuckin' Lydia kills me. Look at these drawers. I love that she's so impressed by everything that's been released 10 years ago. Like self-closing drawers. - Look, it's got a battery in it, isn't that fascinating? - She's like, I got a Mr. Coffee machine so I can brew some of Peter's brew. - Mm. - It's this very expensive coffee from Atlanta in the States. I'm very excited to try it. - I carried it myself from Atlanta. - She's so bad. - By the way, about those candlesticks. - I carried these candlesticks from Florence. - Yeah, I can imagine you carrying those fucking things, walking all the way. - I was on my daughter's back telling. She started complaining and I said, what kind of daughter complained? You're supposed to help your mother. - I was like, I told the Z Gallery, no, don't ship these. I'm gonna carry them myself. By the way, I have to correct myself because I'm kind of crazy like this. I made an Atlantis Morissette joke. We're talking about 10,000 knives. It's really 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife. So if that was killing everyone else the way it was killing me, I apologize. (laughing) - I don't get the Lannis Morissette joke. She's so, well isn't that ironic? - She feels some things. - Isn't that ironic, Ronnie? Can't spell ironic without-- ♪ I'm a lover ♪ ♪ I'm a pilot ♪ ♪ I'm a pilot ♪ ♪ I'm a zing ♪ - That's Meredith Bainbridge. It's Meredith Merrillbank. ♪ Who will then do not close my drawers ♪ ♪ With some remote control ♪ ♪ I don't care ♪ ♪ My daughter's showering ♪ ♪ Every bug ♪ - Shut up, Lannis Morissette. - That was Meredith Brooks, that was Meredith Brooks that you were saying. - Who's Meredith Brooks, darling? - She's a fake Alanis Morissette. - Who's that, darling? I don't know, Meredith Brooks. - All right, I'm just gonna get that song. - All you need to know is-- - That's all right. - You've been through enough pain in your life that you earned the rights to that song. Congratulations, you've written a wonderful song about being a bitch. - Darling, you can't spell ironic without spelling. I'm wrong. - You put the wrong in ironic. (laughing) Someone go tell us-- - I'm a pilot, shit, you might. - I'm a pilot, shit, you might. - I'm a pilot, shit, you might. - Amazing, you put some water in it and when you plug it in, - Stoom comes out. (laughing) - You know, I might call my iron. You know what I call an iron? I call it something that presses shit. (laughing) - Miss Andrea. - Oh, Andrea, thank God her laughter is still alive in Lydia. So we move on to G&G, Gamble and Gina, walking in full daylight and glitter dresses like they're going to the cable ace awards. By the way, I say cable ace awards a lot because I really miss a cable ace. - I know, it's amazing. Bring them back. - I mean, they're not clovers, they're spade awards, right? Wasn't it in the ship of spade? - Yeah, they're like a big like plastic spade. - Yeah, it's great. So they were going to like the launch party of Janet and Jake's tea for Ben victims. So, you know, so Janet's son was there and you know, as we know, he-- - He burned himself making tea. - He burned himself out of barbecue, which was really, you know, a very scary thing. And it's like really great that he, you know, he was like really embarrassed to come out and, you know, be in public 'cause he has like skin grafts and a lot of scars. And, you know, when I was seeing him like with his mom and some of these other women, I was like, you know, this guy, you know, he shouldn't feel embarrassed to be in public 'cause honestly, his face doesn't really look that much different than many of the women's faces on this show. - I know people kept coming up to Janet like handing her dollars like she was the burn victim. - I know, they're like, "Oh, Janet, "it's so sorry about the bonfire you're failing to." - Well, to me, a darling, but my son was in an accident. We talked about it. - And they're going up to Jake and they're like, "Oh, darling, you look wonderful. "Did you go see Gamble's doctor?" No, I'm actually the burn victim. - Jake, still hot. Burn and face are not. I mean, I don't care. He's working his hotness. He looked cute. - And I say, and honestly, like all joking aside, I say like, I think it's really great like what he's doing 'cause that is like, I can, you know, I'm joking about it. But like, you know, obviously we understand like, why that might be like it's still hot. Like it's like an ugly person burn their face. So it's like he's not gonna hot face under all of that. - Ronnie, don't be insensitive. - Not even under it. Not even under it. - Ronnie, are you allowed to say that a burn victim is hot? - Yeah, he is. - I'm just kidding. - Oh, no, I see what he's saying. - Oh, I'm making a fire joke. Oh, how could you? - I mean, not as hot as he was that big obviously. - I think he's never been hot to, so mean. I'm sorry, it's not a laughing matter. I'm sorry. I just take, sometimes I take jokes 'cause just 'cause they're there, I can't help myself. - I can't believe I said that. - I can't help myself. - He's still hot, darling. - You know, it's ugly people. - He is hot, you know, I don't get such a life. You know, I think it's a self tee, don't I? - You know why he's hot? Because he was like a hot person. He was like always a hot, popular person. So people who are hot and popular just always just like carry themselves as hot and poppin' no matter what they look like. And not saying that he looks bad or anything, but they just always have that inner confidence that just will make them hot for the rest of their lives. - Having this friendship between Gina and Gamble kills me because A, they both love their glitter dresses. - Yeah. - And glitter dresses are just, I'm sorry. No matter what time of day, really a glitter dress is, that's something, I don't know, you should think about, anyone with a glitter dress, think long and hard. Please, I saw my landlord walking down to the bus the other day wearing a glitter dress. I was like, you're going to the bus. Anyway, they're wearing their glitter dresses and they're talking about the last event that they were at together. Gina says, I don't know what, you know, I don't know what's wrong with her. I don't know why she's so mad at me. You know, I don't really understand why everybody's getting it. It's not like she served me a piece of cake and I didn't like it. - How many times does that fight happen? - Yeah. - So many. - Yeah, the old PC cake debate of 2012. - Sprinkle cookies. Take a little bit of cookies. - But then they just laugh, laugh, laugh. - Well, what I liked was this was like a totally benign scene. Everyone's hanging out and Jen's like, "Oh, everyone come meet my friend Carlos." And you're like, "Oh, here's Carlos." And then all of a sudden, Gemma's like, "He's the one who saw the rumors." I'm like, "Oh, no, we're gonna start this all over." - Oh, another perfectly innocent Janet scene where she totally didn't tell him to come. He just happened to come. - She's like, "We're totally on, we're telling you." If you don't even know, we're totally on, we're telling you. - I have a lot of sound clips for this show. I almost forgot until you said Carlos, and then I remember it. - I don't even know who that Carlos is. - Ooh. - And then Janet's like, "Oh, no. What have I done? I've done it again by accident." - Look at him, where the hell are you? - Okay, so this queen comes in. Actually, it wasn't very Queenie, but he's got to assume he is one. He's like gossiping with old ladies. But he comes in and gambles all up in his business, like. - He started the rumors. I was like, "Why did you think that?" - I'm gonna tell Wolfie that I've met some moms to hold the rumors. - You're gonna be in trouble. I never have sex, buddy. - You are very successful at starting rumors. - Where were you the day and time that you said that? - I don't know. - Well, you better know, you better find out, because when you say something like that, you better have a time and place, right? It's called an alibi. What have you got? What have you got there? - I don't know. - Well, you better. - You better come out with something. I need you. I need you. I need you. - Oh, Wolfie. - Carlos is like, "Well, I've seen the pictures." - Don't, don't, don't. - And then the judge goes, "I went there." (laughing) - Oh, no. You went there. - And he's like, "No, darling, no, you went there." - Where's this Janet one? - Oh, no, Janet, what have you done? - Stupid Janet pretending to be innocent. - That's like Janet. - I didn't even think about it. He was just coming here from somewhere else and he happened to stop by with his story about pictures. I forgot all about it. - By the way, every time you play that audio clip of Janet being like, "What have you done?" It's like Janet, as presented by M Night Shyamalan. (laughing) - The twist ending. - Janet is her side. (laughing) - I thought, "No, Janet, what have you done?" (laughing) - I see sparkling people. - The second that he said, "I have the pictures." Everyone went ape-shit and then they cut to gamble and she's like, "No, I'm really confused." (laughing) - Because if you've got pictures, you know you've got pictures, okay? - And then she's like-- - And she looked, I mean, granted, that's like the static look on her face is confused. She has resting confused person face. - She's like, "Oh shit." And then she's like, "Oh, the only photos out there "that could have been taken out of contents "of photos of me and my girlfriend sitting out of the pool." I'm like, "Yeah, just sitting out of the pool, having sex." - I'm actually very self-conscious. I don't like having my pictures taken by people. It makes me feel really sad and sad, except for payboy that one time. But whatever, I have no list of advertising. - Don't take that picture out of contents. Please, Wolfie, don't take it. I'm a feminist. (laughing) - Oh, so funny. The show is so funny. - So then the best is that then-- - I can't even keep up because then I skip to another part where Gina walked out to, Gina walked out to-- - Carlos. - Jackie. - Oh, no, this is before I'm sorry. I'm skipping back or coming right back, but I brought this down and it just made me laugh looking at it. When she ran into Jackie, and this is the first time they've seen each other, and they're being faking ice to each other, and Jackie's so nice. I would never know that she hates me. Like, she's so nice. And then Gina's trying to be complimentary, and she's like, "Oh, darling, it is dress. It's wonderful. What's this fabric?" - It's cotton. - Oh, all right. Well, that's wonderful. It's all roughly pregnant. - Oh, so I'm pregnant now? - Oh, I didn't mean it like that, darling. Come on. - Love this show. - Ideal and fecked, not fabric. (laughing) - Ideal and fecked, not fabric. - He was good. - Yeah, so then, so anyway, so gambles, they're all like in a tizzy. So then, Gina and Gamble pull Carlos the side, and then it's like a good cop, bad cop, because then Gina starts hard to be nice. She's like, "Listen, I just want to know what's in the photo. That's all. That's all we just want to know." 'Cause otherwise they were opening and stuff for the loyal builder. We just want to know. So at this point-- - What's she giving it to a fat man? What is it, darling? Does she have a dick in her mouth? What's she top-list? Did she have her fingers in herself? Well, she's sitting on a traffic count, but she's doing anything with a wooden spoon, darling. I mean, what is she doing? Leaving snail-turf on the ground. - Was she sticking or explaining it, darling? - Darling, darling, was she sticking a figurine from his to island up at who, huh? - Please explain. (laughing) - Was she giving wolf a helicopter on that one? I've seen that picture. That's a good one, darling. - Oh, darling. - It's an instructional video if I've ever seen one. - Darling, was she giving three men this in the opera house if you don't know what that means? I just look it up. - Was she pumping up a jumpy house? You know what that means, darling, you know, blow, blow, darling, blow, you know, when I've seen what she can do with Wolfie, you know, I mean, that's something, you know, I wouldn't call it a sex video, really, mostly just, you know, squeezing and praying and, you know, tapping and flicking, but, you know, still. - Darling, was she giving Wolfie an A as rock? 'Cause we know what that's all about. (laughing) I hope she wasn't given the three-finger didgeridoo. (laughing) - And at least Gina can be, she can repeat what she says in public in a way that she gets accused of being mean. She can repeat it and not sound like a bitch. Like, she went up to Wolfie and she was like, "Do you remember me this time, darling?" - Oh, I'm so embarrassed that I thought it in the car, now it's running down my leg. That's where I'm at in life now, Miranda. I'll never forget your name again. (laughing) - Well, anyway, you can't get mad at the guy who's gonna be meeting Gabriel any day now, you know? It's like, just give him his time. He's about to hear a horn section. - So, but getting back to Carlos though, so once Gina and, like, gambles are really coming down, you can see he's like, you know what, it's not worth it to try to take a stance here and I can't produce the photo. So he just backtracks, he's like, "No, I mean, "she was clothed, she was just sitting on a coffee table, "that's it." And they're like, "Ahh!" So you would just, you just inferred some things. So he basically took a hit for the team. He was like, "I'm just gonna end it." - Oh, Jenna, what have you done? (laughing) - I saw the photo, I saw the photo. - Have you sitting on a coffee table doing nothing the day after you supposedly had a sex party that some guy won't name tell me about? - Shut up, bitch. - Yes. Okay, this is a perfect example of a man trying to be a bitch. You are not part of it. It doesn't look as innocent when a man is making up something like that. Okay, it just looks really, really bad. Please stop, make some friends that you can go hang out with and aren't 70-year-old ladies trying to turn you against some other old lady, they're mad at, boy, good luck. - Yeah, stop taking photos out of contents, Carlos. - Yeah, Carlos. So that turned out to be nothing, so that was good. And at first, while this was happening, I was really worried because Gina was demanding details. And I thought, don't be demanding details about pictures in a sex tape that you don't want coming out on a national TV show. That's not good, but then of course it turns out he had nothing. - Yeah. - And I like also that Gamble thinks being a lawyer, she said, "I'm so glad that I have Gina on my side." You know, because she can go solve mysteries. - That's not what lawyers do, okay? She's not solving any mysteries, okay? She's defending like drug addicts and stuff. - Yeah, yeah. - Gamble's so cute. So then, just when you think the drama, the drama at this party is over, then Petty Flirt decides that she wants to clear the air about her accent. First of all, I love that Lydia, she tells us, she's like, "Well, I think that her accent, you know, "I think it's, you know, I like her accent." It's sort of like a Mediterranean sound. Like, do you know where Sri Lanka is? Do you know where Sri Lanka is? - Mexican, you know, one time I saw Mexican jumping bing and, you know, it was a Mexico, but it was a bing. And it just jumped. And I thought that's what Petty Flirt sounds like. She's so cute, her accent is so cute. You know, what she's talking about, or where she's from, or why she's here, or who she works for, or how much she pay her to swim for the floor. The point is she's from another country, so we should pay her to do chores. - She's, you know, I like how her accent sounds sort of like a Russian-Canadian thing, 'cause, you know, as we all know, Sri Lanka is a island off the coast of Greenland. - Also in this conversation, she's giving advice on how to deal with Gina, which is really rich. - All right, here's how you deal with Gina. You have to understand, to call Andrea, because Andrea will come in and sit by your side, and she'll do everything for you. You wanna call her right now? - I can't believe they haven't called Andrea yet. - I know. Well, I'm sure that Lydia's called her off camera. - You know why Gina's a bitch, 'cause she's a dog? (screaming) - Ooh, you know what they call Gina a lady? It's 'cause she's a vagina. (screaming) - So, first of all, this petty floor, it needs to get a fucking life. Start a fight about something real, please. Let's not bring up the same thing over and over. It makes no sense, and why are you going against Gina? You lose every time, bitch. - I know. Well, although Gina did contradict herself, 'cause in the interview, she's like, "Oh, I wasn't mocking her. I was merely mimicking her." And then petty floor is like, "You wanted mimicking me." And she's like, "I wasn't mimicking you. I was just merely, you know, doing your voice." Like Gina, but she did have a point. I mean, she was just saying that, you know, she wasn't out to make her feel bad about her actions. She was just trying to imitate the way she sounded when she said something stupid. - Petty floor is just too stupid to fight. She's too stupid. She doesn't even know what she's talking about. You're making fun of my accent, and my color, and that is racist. Wait, no, it's not racist. You're trying to make that that I'm a racist. Are you saying you're racist? I didn't say that. Are you saying I'm racist? Oh, but if you're asking, so if you're asking, if you are racist, I'm saying you are racist. I'm not saying I'm racist. I'm asking if you think I'm racist. Oh, she's racist. She says she asked if she was racist. - I'm racist, I'm like, shut up, lady. - I know. - Close to 7-Eleven. That's racism, okay? That's rude and ignorant right there. No, it's not racist what she's saying. Stop trying to make something out of nothing. - Yeah. - Stupid. Weren't the help, okay? - She seems to be-- - She seems to be. - Racism is, you dumb bitch. You know, she's an expert on everything, except when to cry racism. - Eddie expert, don't call me Eddie expert. I'm not Eddie expert, although I am an expert in jewels. And if anyone knows about shoes, it's me, 'cause I am Eddie expert in shoes, but don't call me Eddie expert. I love that her niggibs, Eddie expert. - I have more. - Text one to no one, doesn't it? Text one to no one. (laughing) - She's always calling everyone stupid. Well, it takes one to no one, doesn't it? - That was the best one, I love Gina. - She's a mom. - She's simple, she's got simple. Gina and Janet are the best ones for little sound bites. - Yeah. - For your iPhone apps. Do you wanna know where your partner went? - Yeah. - I don't want the app issue. I don't want the app issue. - Well, I love how, so then the next thing that happened is that Gina had a shoe launch and like half the women hated their shoes. I mean, if it were me, I would just be like, "Oh, thanks, like whatever, like who cares?" - Well, they named a shoe after her. They named, she named shoes after all the ladies and then everybody's all up in arms about it because they're trying to use their names to sell products. - Yeah, even she was mad. - What do you think that Janet is gonna get outside, okay? That's not calling it a bunch of dollars should be donated to like plastic glitter shoes. - Yeah. - Please shut up, Janet. - Although Petty Flur actually was right. I agreed with Gina. Gina, when Gina said that Petty Flur was taking a swipe at her because Petty Flur was like, "Oh, where do you have red soles? I don't know how you could do have red soles because that is a, everyone knows that belongs to Lubaton." - Lubaton got in a fight with Payless because Payless tried to do the red shoe on the seat. - Everybody knows. Everybody knows, although I know more because I am an expert in shoes. So Gina, I do think the fact that she brought that up there at the event was her getting back about the switch the bitch switch situation. However, I did look it up. And actually Petty Flur stands on stronger ground about this than Gina did about the titles. 'Cause I think that titles can't really be trademarked but Lubaton actually did get a trademark with a red bottom sole on a shoe that is where the upper part of the shoe is not red also. So you actually are not, oh, Gina, oh, Gina, how awful. I can't believe you stole from Lubaton. - How is that even possible? Okay, I'm gonna get a trademark on white bungalows. - Because anybody has a white bungalow that's painted white, you're gonna get your ass sued. - Well, I went to legalzoom.com when I did this search and apparently the courts decided that the red sole had become what's called like secondary meaning. Like it had taken on a secondary meaning which meant that it was able to be trademarked. Like when I was an intern at Nickelodeon back in like 2000 we were told that Nickelodeon actually had a trademark on the color orange, believe it or not. - Oh, God. - I mean, it turned anything. - But like, I mean, obviously in certain contexts. I mean, I have a certain contents I should say. But you know, it doesn't have, it doesn't control orange everywhere but in terms of a lot of branding things we were told like, oh yeah, Nickelodeon owns orange. - Yeah, I don't care like about their shoes or their trademarks, I think they're all stupid. I don't think anybody's gonna bother suing somebody on a show that nobody's watching anyway. But Gina, if she was right about anything it was how she schooled this bitch on how to behave when someone does say something like that. She was like, is it dulling? We'll worry about that later. And then all the women come up and attack her because or not attack her but confront her because Chica's mad. You know, Chica's mad for the first time in history and she's mad because of she was named after her with a short soul. - Yeah, she's like, that's why she was mad. - She's like, I'm not a kitten, I'm not a kitten heel. I'm like, well, actually, Chica, you're kind of the definition of a kitten heel and I basically barely know what a kitten heel is. - Everyone knows I'm a diaphone. Even Brucey says I'm a tolstiletto. - This episode is sponsored by DoorDash. - We're back to tell you more about the latest dash pass annual plan benefit stream max with ads included at no extra cost. - You know what's a great night for us? Ordering DoorDash and cuddling up to watch the max original hacks. - Which won best comedy deservedly so and we'd love tuning in to see not only icon Gene Smart but the wonderful and incomparable Rose Abdu who also is a huge Bravo fan. - Listen, I'm always in the mood for hacks but you never know what kind of food I'm in the mood for. 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Additional taxes, fees and restrictions apply, see Mint Mobile for details. - Bruce is like-- - I'm a dear firm slipper, you know, you wake up in the morning, you get your husband's cooking breakfast, your son's wearing the pants that are too tight for him, it's penis to show him three and I just think to myself, my feet are warm. - Yeah, I take some issue, I take some issue with Petty Floor having her shoe, or we all know that Petty Floor is a moon boot. - I think Petty Floor might be mad about this because she's upset that Gina has a successful business. Are you a jellyfish shoe? (laughing) - I love Chica getting angry about such a stupid thing. - I know. - Well, we need to talk about this because I don't like my name being used on a shoe darling that I haven't known as to stick with me. - And Petty Floor is like, I don't like my name being used on a product, I have a very original name, which of course we know is a lie because it was used on some pearl necklace or whatever. - Yeah, exactly. I feel so stupid sometimes when I hear myself talking about this. - Listen, Petty Floor, we all know that there was a typo on your birth certificate and you were named after Petty Fours, okay? And also, I'd like to say, okay, your mom was saying, oh, she's Petty and she's got fur and they were like, "Betty Floor, okay." And also, by the way, I just looked it up, Petty Floor is a successful instrumental written by Sidney Bache and recorded by him in 1952, which is my way of saying, you know, Petty Floor, you think you have a unique name, but where do you think you got it? You were clearly named after something. Like-- - Well, not only that, can you imagine her walking into a garden, she'd be pissed at all the little flowers. - I know. That is my name, Little Flowers. You are not allowed to exist, I'm doing flowers. (laughing) - And I know about flowers. - Sorry. - These are not flowers, these are weeds, I know because if anyone knows a flower, it's me, but I am not the expert. (laughing) - Then Janet's office. - I got the granny shoes. - Well, Janet. (laughing) - Oh, Gina, what an awful shoe to give out. - I like that Gina didn't get catty, though. She's like, "All right, if you don't like it, I'll just take your names off the shoes, they're no big deal, I mean, I can call them whatever I want, but if you want your name off, I'll take it off, no big deal, who cares?" - And Petty Floor is like, "Call me, what was it, like honeybee or honeypot?" Or like, "What?" - My name is Honeypot. - What, no, it was Honeybit. - Honeybit is a honey, honey-- - Honeybit, honeycomb or-- - Honeybit, honeybit. My name is Honeybit. This is my nickname because my bits are like honey, because I put honey on them and then the cat licks. - But Petty Floor is ridiculous, and I love Janet's outrage. - I don't like being named after that shoe. - Listen, she could have just made it old worn out leather that's been stretched too tight over the sole. Okay, that's only allowed to be worn by children. Shut up, fucking shoe. - I know. - She doesn't like you, she could have been hideous. - And Porchica, girl, I mean, you're one. You're lucky that wasn't a clog. (laughing) - Why? She could have been real bitch with those shoes. - They could have been a snow shoe or something like that. - She's trying to sell it. She's trying to sell our products based on our fame. - Oh, really? Like, you just tried to sell your fucking burn tea? Shut up. - Yeah. - Get out of here. - I know. - "Seeing with drama with Tempest, hilarious to me. Seeing this woman in all bandaged up with plastic surgery, sitting by the ocean. The return of Lynn Curtain, basically." (laughing) - I'm surprised how well I'm healing from all this. I can see better without my lids hanging over my eye. And Gamble's like, "You're gonna be so pretty. You're gonna love it. You're gonna be pretty for 10 years." (laughing) - And then she's like, "Oh, I didn't know this much about it. I didn't realize that Janet had a song. That gets her a lot of depth. I think I want to get to know her." I'm like, "Shut up, shut up, Tempest." (laughing) - Oh, I didn't understand what this was when I read it 'cause I don't understand my notes a lot of the time, but I wrote "Cutting Edge" because (laughing) Gina was like, " Janet, I didn't name those for you because they're for old people. That's the cutting edge style darling. That's the new style. So I named it after you 'cause you're cutting edge." And Janet's like, "Oh, it's cutting edge then okay then. I'm not mad anymore." Your face is the most cut up thing on this show. That's why that was named after you. It's like parts of 10 different shoes cobbled together and covered in like a layer of goo. - I know. Oh my God. (laughing) - And then we go to the other event. This was just events for everybody. - I know. - We had an event. - I know something. - It felt like the season, I feel like the season is coming to a closed room 'cause it would be wrapping up two more. - Oh, Gina, how awful of you to have so few areas. - It's terrible. There's no reunion. Also, I emailed Gina Leono and I never heard back from her. I'd like to have her on this show. So, if anybody knows Gina, please tell us that we'd loved to talk to her about stealing ideas. - Maybe she's too busy getting sued by Christian Liberton. - You're a flip-flop. - Liberton. - You know, that is taken. That is taken flip-flops. The things that people wear, you cannot say that to people on television. You will get sued. - You know, Janet, you know, I don't know if you realize this, but you cannot have, you cannot sell tea because tea was already have a trademark on that part of the word. (upbeat music) - I thought it was gonna be, she's a moron. - Oh, it was very, it was a good stinger for the put-down, the tea put-down, tea burn. - Ooh. - I burned my tongue on the tea. - Tea burn in a burn function. - Chair. - Oh, Janet, spill the tea. But don't spill it too much, it's very hot tea. I'm an expert on temperature. (laughing) - One time someone said, "I'm freezing." And I said, "I invented that." - You know, because I know about temperature, I know that when you're freezing, it's cold out, when you're warm, it's hot out. So I sort of know everything there is to know about meteorology. - This event was for Jackie. Jackie's had a model contest. America's next top model, you know? First of all, just have a contest that you're not even gonna pay. - Yeah. - The model to show up. It's like, the prize is wearing or drinking your shit for free, your frons, your reboddled fronsie, okay? She's having this contest for these only girls. And then she makes them show up for another free day to stand there and lose. - Yeah, exactly. And it's just to be like the face of essentially black water. It is like, what's like, "Oh, congratulations. "You're the face of a liquor "that no one actually wants to buy." - You're the face of the cheapest wine in town. It's couture, chon chon chon, darling. - You're the face of that wine that they sell next to the four dollar jugs that you use to make sangria. - This model really represents mascara, it's all about. She's that retro girl. You know, in the '50s, when women didn't have rights in their heads to wear bangs and all they could do is stay home and get fat and have babies. Yeah, that's what Ms. Scott is all about, darling. - We're really lucky that we stole this woman because we heard that that Man of Shevitz wanted a real badly. - She's, oh, I forgot what I was even gonna say. Am I still laughing at it? It's funny that I can still laugh at myself without even know what I was gonna say. - That's, that's sad. - Okay, what other part here? - I mean, all that happened here is I wasted at this part. - Yeah, I thought this, I sort of felt like the steam ran out at this part of the show. Basically, they just revealed the girl, there's a lot of laughter, and then Sean, Sean, left in a helicopter for no good reason. And then she took the keys, she took Ben's keys by accident. So she landed the helicopter again, threw out the keys, and then she went off to wherever she had to go to. - How is he gonna get all call to the place where we need all call? You're rich enough to get a helicopter, take a fucking Uber. What are you complaining about? - No, exactly. Why don't you just like-- - You're so poor now that you have to turn the helicopter around, come on Jackie. - Oh, couture, let's couture with the palace. - Model winner, loser's there, and that's all I had. And then it's a blank page, which don't be confused because that blank page doesn't end at the broadcast. Means I have to figure out how to go back and find the notes for blood sweat heels. - Well, let's go to blood sweat and heels. - Blood sweat and heels. - Last week on blood sweat and heels. Racism, cancer, more racism. Oh, and then some girls decided to have lunch. - Yeah, what? - Well, that's how they started the show. They showed the clips, it was like-- - That's racist, that's racist, I'm cancer, I'm cancer. You wanna have lunch? Sure. - Yeah. (mumbles) - Well, yeah, I mean, basically it started with Demetria and Micah like going to the Krabby Shack to resolve their issues, which was sort of funny. Of course, like of course Demetria would be at the Krabby Shack, you know. - Also, Demetria is such a bitch, okay? Anybody who's ever lived in New York making someone go to Brooklyn to meet you for lunch is a bitch move. I mean, that is an hour move. - Yeah, like meet a downtown. - You've been to the top dog and you're gonna come to Brooklyn to apologize for me bitch. - Yeah, meet a Tribeca or something. I mean, Micah's all the way up in Harlem for crying out loud. That's like a-- - Yeah, you meet in Midtown, okay? You both have to travel. That's a bitch move. I don't like that. 'Cause already she's showing that she's gonna be a bitch, no matter what. And she wasn't, they, you know, whatever. They had their-- - They had a nice, they sort of like-- - I like that they're so shocked that having a normal adult discussion solved everything. - Well, that's how Micah was like, who knew that all you had to do was sit down and talk? - Everybody else in the world. - I know, but I still love Micah. Meanwhile, other people having a conversation was Geneva. So Geneva, she like gathers a team at an empty restaurant. She's like, okay, I've had a lot going on in the past few weeks, but I'm not gonna let it get me down. I'm gonna launch new websites. It's gonna be like Huffington Post, but for black women, it's gonna be called Geneva Pop Daily or whatever it was. And so she gathers people and she's like a meaningful-- - She has like her, she has her little easel. She's like, okay, we're gonna make a website. And then she rests down a regional content. Well, congratulations, you just broke the internet with that bombshell idea. - She's so stupid. She's, oh my God, I have to skip ahead. All of these notes to get to the Geneva party. - Sorry, sorry, 'cause it was like the only note that I wrote down. - The kids are friends, people think I mean blah, blah, blah. - We can go back, we can go back, but like, just the only note that I wrote down was Geneva writing down. - Okay, yeah, we have to hold on, 'cause we have some other stuff first. One is the girl, what is her name? The Afghani girl, what's your name? - Arso, she's really nervous about introducing her family. She's really nervous about introducing yesterday to her family because she's just like a rebel to them. She's like a failure to them right now. 'Cause look, I'm like, I'm Afghani, okay? So my parents, I mean, they came to America and look, they didn't come here for the American dream. - Oh, that's a dream. - They're all excusing us in our American dream, okay? I'm so sorry that your family was so upset that they had to come to the land of competition. - The Russians were invading and they thought they were gonna get killed, so they came to California. - Yeah, it was hard. - It's not like they came here because they wanted to. I mean, they wanted to keep women in-- - They just know America. - I mean, it's not like, you know, working, but they had to come here. I mean, it's not like they wanted to. - They've never met-- - I'm sorry that America saved your family's ass. - I don't think she was saying that, Ronnie. I think she was saying the reason why they have been so close to her, you know, like assimilating in America is because they didn't come to America to embrace American culture. They came to America 'cause it's where they needed to go. - Exactly, but the reason I'm already angry about it is because it's a thread that continues through where you're not in your fucking country. Now you're in America and women aren't not treated like that. And you're random, you know, it's like, excuse us. Disregard our rules against racism in this country because you guys didn't want to be here in the first place. It's totally fine to not want your daughter to play "Data Black Guy" or, I don't know, it just bugs me and she's the new person. Like everything she says is-- - Oh, it's because I'm getting it in my country. - I don't know. I actually really-- - It makes me crazy. - Her voice-- - That's how we do it there. - Her voice is crazy, but I actually really like she has a lot 'cause she's like nutty, but I feel like I would sit and have a fun time with Arzo. - I don't like her. - She's just like-- - I think she's an asshole. She isn't an asshole, but like, I started-- - She's like adding herself on the back for "Data Black Guy" and then it's not even about color or anything else, it's like, "Well, he needs a job. "He needs to make it and then we'll get married." - Like, she'll marry him only if he-- - It's like, I don't know, it's not really love. - It's weird. - Like you marry-- - You marry who you love and if they make it, they make it and if they don't, they don't. Like, why is that the rule that you're gonna stick to? He needs to be able to support me. He's still black, he's still not Afghani, he's still not your religion. Why is money the only one that you guys are gonna hold? You're gonna follow that rule, it bugs me. I don't like that girl. - Well, I'm surprised that her parents would have any problems with yesterday because you know, we're just sort of like, we're like black folk, we're like Italians, you know? - Right, there's gonna be totally normal where we're from. I mean, it's not a big deal, who cares? - You know, I'm just, you know, my parents probably think I'm a lesbian at this point because I only bring women to my home, you know? - I saw this is such an off the show thing, but I went to this musical this week called "Sideshow." This kind of, it wasn't a community theater, but I mean, well, I won't be mean about it, but I was watching it and one of the, it's about a sideshow and the conjoined twins from the sideshow end up becoming stars and they make that movie freaks about them. So it's kind of a true story. So, or I guess it's based on a true story. Their life must have had really bad music in it, but these two girls are conjoined and they're, you know, it's kind of a love story between who they're falling in love with or wanting to fall in love with. And one of them's being used by some guy who wants fame and blah, blah, blah. And the other one is can't be with the love of her life because he just can't be with a conjoined twin 'cause he's so ignorant, you know? And he won't be with a conjoined twin. And then the innocent one, like the nice one, is about to get married and their best friend who's taken care of them their whole lives is this black guy. And he's like, don't get married. I'm in love with you. And then he does this weird acting song, which was embarrassing to watch. But he, the plot was, he's saying, I love you, marry me. This is true love. And she's like, I can't marry a black guy. - And I just thought that is rich, okay? The fucking conjoined twin can't marry a black guy. Like jeez. - Wasn't sad. - I don't know why I brought that up, but I was like, you have to tell somebody about that. You can't keep that in your own mind. - Wasn't that like a big thing? Wasn't it a big musical side show? - Yeah, it was a mama-dative for a Tony, but I mean, I guess that shows you how hard, how hard up they are. 'Cause maybe it was better on Broadway, but this was painful. It was one of those ones that has sing talking, where it's not a rock opera, where they're really singing the whole show. They would just do these like 10-minute long scenes with singing that may, just about anything randomly. - I walked into the door. Here you are inside the living room. I'm reading a newspaper. I'm watching you read it. It's like, what is this about? And why isn't it a song? And why do you need to be singing it at me? And no, it's not like Les Mis. That is a pop musical that has actual songs band. - Well, you know what? I'm really sorry that you feel that way, but you know what? At 24, I made my first musical, and now at 45, I'm having yesterday do the book for my next musical that my parents do not approve of. - I'm sorry, but in my country, we were allowed to make fun of Les Misérables, so I don't understand. I mean, you want to talk about Les Misérables, you should come to Afghanistan, because that's how everybody is there, because the Russians. - I'm sorry, it's just very hard to talk about, and like, when I go home, all I like to do is eat food, and then not talk about my black boyfriend that much. - That girl on the cover of Les Misérables, I mean, at least she has like a really cute parade aware, I didn't have any borays, 'cause my dad never let me get one, because in Afghanistan, we're not allowed to wear borays, and he didn't want to come to America in the first place. Like, we couldn't wear borays, and we couldn't even wear sunglasses, we couldn't even wear ray bands, anything that had the word ray in it, you just couldn't even have, you couldn't even watch the comedy slilings of Ray Romano. - My mom thought I was going to try and have sex with my glasses, 'cause they were named Ray, I was like, "Mom!" (laughing) - Like, I couldn't even watch the Cosby Show at a certain point, because Ray even Simone was on it, and you know, her name sounds like it has Ray in it, but I was like, "Mom, there's a V, "there's not even a word Ray." - So, it's a real fan. - My mom's least favorite movie of the past 10 years has to be Ray. - Ooh, so then, we're having fun, so let's cut to cancer, cancer, cancer, that girl has cancer, and she's like, "The only person that called me after finding out "I had cancer, I mean, nobody called me--" - She's like, "Shuntell." - Oh, "Shuntell." - "Shuntell." - "Shuntell." - "Shuntell." - Look, darling, I know I have feelings, I mean, I know I look like a show pony, and I'm like, "Oh, that's a pretty apt description "of yourself, if you for being that comfortable--" - Like a sideshow pony, have you seen me in that musical sideshow? - Then we cut back to the lunch with Micah and Demetria, and it was very funny, because they're both shocked that they are actual human beings and have a personality, and I like that Micah was wearing those glasses, and Demetria said, "I don't even know this, Micah, "who is this? This Micah has glasses." Like, the glasses just changed everything in this relationship, so thank you, Claire's. (laughs) (laughs) - Oh, that's a good meeting. - Okay, now we got to get to-- Wait, do we forget everything? Do we forget everything? - No, I don't. - Okay, now we have to get to Geneva. Okay, we're finally allowed, because I'm finally at that point in my notes, and it's a good thing. - She's the next Ariana Huffington. - But who's Anna Winter with the brain? It's like really you work in journalism, and that's how you wanna get jobs? - Yeah, exactly. - She's like, "Listen, "I have worked for magazines, newspapers, blogs, pamphlets, "manuscripts from Chinese restaurants. "I have worked for everything, and I am here to start, "this is a business, this is an enterprise, "this is where people donate their money and their time, "and they make, we have to have Google AdWords." It's a huge thing getting Google Ads. I'm like, "Oh my God, you're the worst. "Get a WordPress plug in, you fucking moron." But listening to Geneva rip apart the English, her goal, okay? I wanna be brokering and shaping culture. You're gonna broker culture? - I know, exactly. Well, I mean, just to get back to Anna Winter with the brain, I mean, how can you be a fashion journalist? And you say something ridiculous like that. I mean, this is a woman who has kept, you know, vo, like at the forefront of fashion for years and years and years, and she's like acting as if she's just some stupid intern, you know, who walls into that top job. - Credit to Chantal for not laughing and leaving, because Geneva went off on this whole thing about how, "I'm a woman, and I'm doing this for myself." It's here I go, you know, like she's not starting a blog. Like, you understand you're starting a fucking blog, right? Everybody has a blog, okay? We don't have parties for them. And Chantal's like, "You know, Darlam, "so proud of you for getting out of the house, "you know, doing something, you know, "you're not just sitting around eating all day. "Like, you're actually like doing, "you're putting words onto a computer." So that's a start, you know? And Geneva's like, "Yeah, girl, I'm kicking myself "in the ass, and then I'm turning it around "and calling myself racist." 'Cause who kicks themselves in the ass? Who does that only racist? That's who I'm gonna make this right. - I call the cops of myself 'cause someone kicked me and then I realized I kicked my own ass. And so then I arrested my leg. - Geneva is honestly one of the stupidest people I've ever seen on TV. - And I said stupidest just to be part of your club. (laughing) - Oh my God, but she's so funny. Every week she does something else that's stupid. - She is so stupid. And then she's like, "Oh, well, we're gonna be everything. "We're gonna be pop culture. "You can call me, you can call me to ask me "to where to the tailgate? "Or why white girls give good blow jobs." Chantal's like, "Really?" She's like, "Oh, yeah, white girls give good head." That's why their cars are all so nice. They give good head. It's like she's kicking feminism in the ass at the same time she's claiming to empower women. It's like everything's about how to please a man and how to give good head and blah, blah, blah. And you know, Geneva knows because Geneva has very original advice to all the ladies out there. "Listen, maybe you wouldn't be so ratchet "if you was getting some. "Maybe you just need to get some okay, bitch." And Chantal's like, "Okay, yes. "What an original, fascinating article "that's been written before. "Have fun with that." By the way, I have now gone on to Jawbreaker, the Jawbreaker website and-- And it's called Jawbreaker. I mean, come on. Well, it's better than whatever was supposed to be called. Geneva, Geneva Newsdale here, whatever it's called. And I've gone on and it's a picture of like J.Z. And someone else, I can't quite tell. And then the headline says, "Dadbods? "Nope." Oh, God. Oh, Geneva. But actually, I will say this. I'm not gonna be that shady. The site actually does look pretty good. Well, she said she paid $15,000 to $20,000 for it. It better look fucking good. Yeah, exactly. But she's an idiot. I mean, come on. She's an idiot. I'm not gonna take the site looks good. I'm not gonna take the site looks good. Oh, let's go. That's the answer to everything with women anger. They just need to get fucked by some man. Okay, thanks a lot, feminism. Stupid. Yeah. She infuriates me. This whole show infuriated me this week. I don't even know why, 'cause it was kind of an innocent show, right? I like that, by the way, on this, on the website, it describes the site, it says, "Jobbreaker is viral, mean-worthy content "informed by the energy of New York." It's like, who calls their content mean-worthy? It's like, hey. It's in Cuba. (laughing) Please, go ahead. Like, send my stupid articles around. God. You know what a meme is? Is it a meme site? (laughing) It's a meme, huh? Meme-worthy. Dad bods? Oh, everybody's saying that now. Does your husband have a dad bod? And then they're putting it over a picture of a cat hanging from a calendar. Good job, Geneva. You did it. (mimics dad babbling) And then Micah goes to visit her granny, who I listen. I get that it's so sad when your family dies. Your grandma is mindy, too. I'm not gonna watch you cry for about it. Cry about it for five episodes, okay? I thought it was very important. I thought it was very sweet to see this grandmother. And I think it's great to have like these moments like on camera for her family. But I'm like, I don't need to see like five scenes of it. I'm just like, okay. My mom's telling her, honey, granny may die, but her spirit will live on. Listen, heaven, here's what I have to say about heaven. Do you know how many fucking people aren't heaven? It's a nightmare up there, okay? I can barely live in this city with all these people. Do you know how many dead fucking goody two-shoes are in heaven? No, thank you. I hope it's false. I'd rather just die. Why are you so mad at the idea that granny might go to heaven? Sick of people saying that. Like when you get sad when someone's dying and people are like, no, heaven, you're gonna see them in the afterlife. No, you're not, they're dead, okay? And it's part of living and it sucks. Let me fucking cry about it, okay? I don't wanna see her in the afterlife. That's awful. I'm not going to heaven. I don't wanna go to heaven. I've been told my whole life I'm not gonna go to heaven. I do not need to go see that person again in heaven. I want them back here. Okay, stop telling me the bullshit about everybody going to heaven. Ronnie lies. Ronnie, you just need to find a good man and that way you can get into his arms and you can say, baby, you're all that I need. I'm lying here in your arms. It's hard to believe. Oh my god, that's me worthy. Oh my god, that's still me worthy of doing a Brian Adams heaven riff. You're sad about heaven? Well, maybe you just need to get fucked in. Okay, you ratchet ass bitch. My parents didn't want to go to heaven but they had to go to heaven because they weren't allowed to stay in Afghanistan. My parents didn't want to go to heaven because women don't have to wear shawls there and they never asked to go to heaven in the first place. I think that yesterday is like super cute but I'm afraid to introduce him to my mom 'cause my mom's gonna start crying and I don't wanna cry. I wanna talk to my mom about yesterday because she doesn't like living in the past. You know, yes, it's so funny because my family is like black folk and yesterday's family is like Afghan folk so I don't know why we can't get along. They go over to her family's house and she says, my family's like black people. We like to sit around and eat a lot together. It's like really, really. Your family is the only, it's only Afghanistan, Afghan families and black people that enjoy each other's company and food. - What the fuck are you talking about? - I don't know why she's bugging me so much. - I know this stuff didn't actually really bother me. - I think she's a total asshole. - She is an asshole but I like, she's no more of an asshole than anyone else on these shows. I like her, she's sort of like a, I don't know, I just find it to be very entertaining for right now. - I'm sorry I just feel that she's very entertaining and I just-- - No, you don't have to be sorry. - I mean, I'm being entertained by her, I just think she's a total wreck. I just don't like her. I don't like the relationship with her boyfriend that I feel bad for him. She won't introduce him to her family but she's taking everybody else and all the cameras there. That's gotta hurt. And then she's saying she's only gonna marry him when he's making a lot of money, basically a star, a rock star, a hip hop star or whatever. I just, I don't like her, it's not true love. I feel like she has a black boyfriend to tell everybody, "Look out, I have a black boyfriend." Yeah, 'cause that's how she acts. She acts like one of those girls I don't like. - I think for me the jury's still out on that front 'cause I know what you're saying, but... But you know what, I don't know, I kind of get why she doesn't wanna marry him just yet. It's not about supporting him like, or like, I think sometimes you just wanna see like, is this person, I believe in this person, et cetera, but are they gonna have the drive? - I sort of want them to prove themselves in terms of like their drive and ambition if I wanna start a family with them, you know? - Well, I think I come from a different place just because my parents, we're not born enough, I'm just kidding, my parents married so young that that wasn't really part of it. And she's older, so I can't put like a 20 year old's brain into this 40 whatever lady, but I always thought romance was finding someone falling in love getting married and then you do all that stuff together. But I guess it's because the way I heard about it, my parents were married so young, so naturally, of course they were a poor and then my dad figured out his way in life and whatever. - I think also, maybe, you know, there could be a part of it where she's like, she does really like him, but he is 25 and she wants him to maybe grow up just a little bit. - Yeah, and that's valid, but you know, taking someone's best years when you're just gonna be, you know, 25 to 30, those are some really good adult years. Those are some really formative years. And if he's staying with you, thinking that you're gonna marry him, but you're only gonna marry him if he gets to a certain level, then you've wasted his youth, basically. Like you're gonna waste his good booty-- - That's not her fault. That's not her fault, that's his fault. - Well, it is if she doesn't tell him that 'cause she's not really saying, she said that to us, I don't know if she said it to him, she just keeps saying, yeah, we're gonna get married? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we're gonna get married. So I mean, I don't know if she says when you're famous or not, but-- - Has he proposed to her? - Well, they've said they're getting married, so I guess so. Or maybe they just had one of those talks on the subway you have when you're drunk, and you're like, we should get married. - Yeah, I need to learn a little bit more about Arzo before I can start calling her an asshole, because I mean, she, no, wait, let me take that back. I'd like to take that back. She is an asshole. I've got to learn more to decide if she's a sort of asshole that I like, or that sort of asshole that I don't like, but so far I sort of like her. - I don't like her, I think she's an asshole. But maybe she'll be less of an asshole. Next time, I change my mind every week. I've liked her so far, but this one, she really just rubbed me the wrong way. Everything she said pissed me off. And a lot of it is this stuff, I think, because I come from a big Lebanese family. So I hear the same stories in my family growing up that she heard. I mean, I know there are different places, but not really in a lot of ways, especially back then. So I guess I come from a similar background, and it really bothers me that she uses them as an excuse for stuff like yesterday. That's not like, listen, you're in America, you're living on your own, you're living away from your family, you're not a doctor or lawyer, as was mentioned in this, and her father's disappointed and blah, blah, blah. It's like you're willing to go against your parents in everything except who you love, which is the most important thing. So I'm finding her phony, and I'm not really buying her at the moment. - I don't know, but like, because it matters so well, I mean, fucking asshole. - But like, here's the thing though, this is from the old country, he's a dick. And treating women like shit, you can leave that there, okay? Because someone in America has told him that women have equal rights, women are not to be treated like that, and to be a dick to your own daughter and to women in general, fuck you. You're old, being from the old country does not excuse that. Everybody here is from somewhere, and we don't act like that. Grow the fuck up and stop acting like a misogynist. What a pig. - You know, but the thing is this though, like she's doing her own thing, and I got that, and so her parents know that, that's basically what you're saying, but she can't show her love. Well, the thing is that if there's someone that's really, really important to you, there are two people that are really important to you, you've got your parents on one end, and you have a love, on the other hand, and that's like, they're both very, very important, and it's easier to just keep them separated, because you're so afraid of what will happen when they meet. - Well, it means you're for you. - Because while you're hurting the person that you're supposed to love, and you're lying to your parents, so really you're being the asshole. - Yeah, but what I'm saying is, she's not keeping them apart, because she's like, I'm gonna be an asshole and be fake. It's just giving them a part, I think, because of like a very realistic neuroses, it's like it has nothing to do with-- - She's dating a black guy, they're gonna fucking freak out. - But it's also part of it is, and why is anyone scared to introduce someone to their parents? They're scared because-- - It's not anyone, it's a black guy. If she was dating any other guy, this would not be an issue, it's because he's a black guy, totally, and probably because he's young too, and that he's a musician, or whatever probably has something to figure in. - So given that she loves her parents, even though her parents may be backwards, assholes, racist, but she still loves them, she's still allowed to love them, you can't take that away, and they're very important to her, and then she knows that they're like this, and then she has this other guy that she loves, and when you're in that situation, you want your parents to prove with the guy that you're with, and you want the guy to like your parents, and you want everyone to get along that's a happy family, but you know in your mind that she knows that her parents are racist, or could say something racist, or could act in a racist way, and so she knows that she might let them down, she knows that yesterday may be really put off by what her parents say, and it could be a total disaster, and it's like the, that's what you don't want to happen, and so sometimes it's not coming from an asshole, place to keep them separated, it's coming from a place where you're just like, I am scared to put them both together. I know what you're saying, and I think that you're right, and that's where I think she's coming from, and that's what she's telling yourself. What I'm saying is at the end of the day, you're hurting your lover's feelings, and you're lying to your parents, so while you think you're doing this for the good thing, at the end of the day, she doesn't think she's doing it for the good thing. She doesn't think she's doing it for the good thing. You're doing the asshole, and I'm not saying she shouldn't like that. But she's not doing it for the good thing, she's not doing it for the good thing, she's doing it because she's just not strong enough. She's like, it's, 'cause it's scary. No, grow up when she's 35, or whatever. Whatever she is, at some point, I'm not from a family where I've always told my parents what they want to hear, or they've always told their parents what they want to hear. We're adults when we make our own lives. I'm saying it's okay for her to go against her parents on everything else, but this, and I just-- Because the other things are not as, it's just different when it comes to relationship. Okay, so I'm in an interracial relationship, okay? So my parents are not racist, and my boyfriend is not sensitive. And yet, when it came time for them to meet, I was super nervous, 'cause I was afraid that maybe my parents might say something accidentally, like racist, or maybe my boyfriend might, like, take something the wrong way. It's like, you go into an irrational place, and it's like, it fills you the anxiety, and I didn't think I was being, like, for me, it's not that I really put it off that long, but like, you know, I didn't think I was being an asshole, and I don't think it's coming from an asshole placed if I had an instinct to not want to introduce them immediately. - Well, first of all, I'm not talking about you, 'cause you also came out as gay fairly recently, which is hugely brave, and that's a huge deal to be able to talk to you with your family. - I know, but wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, but I'm not just gonna say, I'm not saying you're saying that without me, but what I'm saying is, I know that feeling, and the difference is that like, Arzo does have a much more extreme situation of like, a racist parent, whatever, et cetera, et cetera. So like, all I'm saying is I understand why she probably has extreme anxiety, and I don't think it's, you know, maybe it is being harmful, you know, on certain levels, but I don't think that like, the first, my first thought is not like, what an asshole she is, my first thought is, oosh, like I understand the anxiety of it. - I see the difference between the two things you just told me, is that A, you don't lie to your parents, and you did tell them, you haven't been in this relationship for very long, this is new. You told them fairly quickly, so when does this anxiety about it or not, isn't really the same, because this girl isn't telling, this is someone she's gonna marry. - Well, she got herself into a marriage. - She got herself into a hole, because now it's a year and a half in. I mean, I told my parents, my parents knew relatively differently. - I mean, that's a huge difference, it's like you're standing up for her, but at the same time, you didn't do what she did. - I know, but I'm saying, you understand the anxiety, but the difference is, you have the balls to confront it, and do something about it, and make every girl so happy with each other, and make everybody happy, and she doesn't. - She also has very, sounds like she has very controlling overbearing parents, you know, and that's what I don't have, and what I'm saying is, you're calling your asshole. - Because you learn how to say fuck you to your mom. You'll get spanked, but you learn to be a rebel, you know, and I guess you just didn't have that. - I just don't think, I don't think, call her an asshole for various things, but she may be doing things that might be hurtful, but if this is the reason why you're calling her an asshole, I don't know, I don't know, I don't read this. - It's one of them, yeah, I don't like it. - She's an asshole, maybe, with somebody, and saying you're gonna marry them, but then you won't even, you know, have the balls to stand up to your dad, because her dad, listen, my grandfather was like her father, who's very old school, very, you're like, why aren't you going to college? Why aren't you gonna be a doctor, or a lawyer, or why aren't you in real estate? What are you doing with your life? And, you know, women should be in the kitchen. Like my grandpa said that, the only difference is that we would say, don't say that. Women have equal rights, they don't do that. Grandma's not here to work for you, okay? - Well you can see-- - I'm gay, you can see where Arzo has been sort of, like, messed up by this rearing a little bit, and I'm not saying what she's doing is right and okay, and that she should live this double life for as long as she wants. She has gotten herself into a hole. Don't get me wrong, the longer it goes on, the harder it gets to say these things, and so she is sort of screwed. But I mean, it's also, I mean, look at anyone who's like gay in the closet, and they're not ready to tell their parents yet, you know, that they have a gay lover. It's not that, it's not really that different. I mean, you wouldn't be like, oh, well, that guy's an asshole, they didn't tell his parents yet. You'd be like, well, you'd say-- - If they were with, if they were with the gay lover and we're gonna marry them, and they were in a committed relationship, yes, I most certainly would say that they're an asshole. - Well, they were getting married, but like, but Arzo, Arzo and yesterday are talking about marriage, but they're not engaged. That's very different. - He said you're gonna marry me, right? And she said, yeah. - But that's one, that's-- - Isn't that being engaged? - No, that's no, that's just, that's talking about planning. - That's planning. - That's planning. - That's like watching the animal kingdom, I don't get that. Even though we can get married. - That's planning. No, I think that like, what I'm saying is-- - It's hurtful, it's hurtful, but I don't think it's-- - It's the same as hiding your black boyfriend. I just don't see it as being the same thing. - Well, but it's-- - Being in the closet is something who you are-- - She's in the black closet. - That you are, blah, blah, blah. Hiding your lover, whether you're gay or straight, having someone you love and shielding them from your family because you don't want to get in trouble is putting your own interests before your lovers and your families, frankly. - No, that's just how I think of it. Like, I get that you're not gonna agree, but-- - No, no, no, listen, if coming out of the closet is telling someone who you are, coming out of the closet and saying you have a boyfriend and you've had a boyfriend for a year and a half is the same thing as saying, like, guess what, for the past year and a half, I've been dating a black guy to like racist parents where it's like, it's like a shock to the system to them, perhaps. - I don't think it's-- - So, but either way, all I'm saying is, is it the healthiest way to go about it, absolutely not. Should she tell her parents? Yeah, 'cause it's only gonna get worse. And is it hurtful to yesterday? Probably, yes. But is this all stemming from like an asshole place? I don't think it's something from an asshole place, it's stemming from a weak, insecure place, that's doing damage, it's doing damage. - I don't live it up, so it's not just that, it's my family's like black people, or-- - Well, that's-- - I mean, what are they-- That's different, that's black boyfriend. Girls like that make me crazy. I don't care if you have a black boyfriend, I don't care if you think your family's similar to black people, comparing yourself to black people is stupid and ignorant, and she's old enough to know better, and black people do not have the same history in our country that have refugees from Afghanistan. - Right, well, that's-- - And it's ridiculous to compare your issues or your problems, or anything about yourself to black people, and the struggles that black people have gone through, because you have a black boyfriend, in general, that you're so proud of to bring up in front of your friends when you're in a fight, but you won't bring home to tell your parents. - Right. - I find her to be just a hypocrite and an asshole, sorry. - Well, no, I mean, that is an area where I do agree to you a little bit more, where she seems very at ease, and very happy, sort of being in this post-racial space, where she says, you know, it's like black people are telling us-- - Well, you can make her hit, that she's dating some young black hip-hop star. - But it's like, I know you're saying, when she's being a social card with her friends, it's great. But, you know, otherwise, I don't know, my dad would be so mad about your dad. And look at your dad telling you, "Oh, she could have been Dr. Lawyer." And meanwhile, like, look at your mother, how happy she is. - His mom's like doing the dishes behind her. I was like, shut up, she's crying, literally crying. - And I'm so sick of people getting an excuse, because they're from the old country to be sexist, racist assholes. - Yeah, I agree with that, I was thinking that too. - But I think that, like, a bitch. - Yeah, I mean, I do think, like, it is, like, I didn't mind when she's, I mean, well, I'm a white person, so what do I know? But, like, when she says, no, we're like black people or Italians, I know what she was going for there, where like, I knew, she wasn't saying, she wasn't comparing their plight at that moment, she was comparing-- - And she's saying, we're a minority, you said. - No, no, no, no, no, no. At that moment, she was talking about, like, the cultural, like, the idea of, like, big family gatherings, you know, like-- - No, no, I know what she meant. - They are, but I know what you're saying, though, when she's acting all post-racial. She's saying, is offensive, or she doesn't understand why it would be offensive. You know, she heard me saying this, she'd be like, what's the big deal? What's the big deal with staying black people? - Well, you can say-- - I mean, you can say-- - I mean, you're not needing, they do. - Well, maybe-- - It is okay, I mean, it is okay in certain context to say something like this, like, this reminds me of a black, something, you know, you know, it's not like, we can't act like, there aren't black cultural things that happen, you know, like, you can't be so afraid, but I will say, when she is-- - We're constantly comparing herself to black people, because she's on a black, show and saying she has a black one. - No, that's right. - She just rusted me the wrong way. - Yeah, no, that is, I think, her weakest aspect. It happened the first time we saw her when she's talking to the girls, and she's like, yeah, and you know, like, I have a black boyfriend, so, and like, that's bad. - Yeah, I just, I mean, it's all adding up to be annoying, and I did feel for her a little when she was in the, in her parents' house and her dad was saying, oh, you know, she's my smartest kid, but she's done nothing I wanted her to do. She's not a doctor, and she's not a lawyer, and she's standing back there ameically going, well, you know, I'm supporting myself in New York and fashion and, and, and culture, you know, saying keywords that she knows are gonna piss him off, but at the same time being kind of victimy about it, I'm like, what are you doing? It's like, you're purposely, ha, I don't, it frustrates me when you're standing up for every area of your life, except one. It just, it's bugging the shit out of me with her. I can't stop. You need to tell your dad to stop being a sexist fucking pig, stop. It's gross. - Well, I'm like, she should, absolutely, and she should be like above deck with all her relationships and stuff with her family. But, and she does, like, - Thank God I wasn't raised in, you know, I mean, if, thank God I was raised in America because, I mean, if I did some of these things, you know, I'm like, country, I'd be stoned, ha, ha, ha, ha, like laughing, and I'm like, that's funny, except that someone was probably stoned today. Like, I don't just, she just wrote to me the wrong way. I don't think she's funny. I think she's a fucking asshole. I mean, it's like I said before, I mean, she definitely says asshole things, but I like her. I like her. I think she's, I think she's like funny. - I mean, we are descendants of Muhammad, okay? I know how to uphold that. I'm like, are you even wearing a bra? Why are you saying that? Like, are you even hearing yourself? Like, she's sitting here in full makeup and some slutty outfit on TV talking about being a prophet or a descendant of Muhammad really have, do you know what that religion said? Like, are you aware of women's rights and what you're supposed to be doing? And now you're talking about upholding Muhammad's name while you're in fucking fashion and like having sex with somebody that you're not married. And basically, every aspect of your life is a modern American woman's life, which goes against pretty much, and we could say this about any Bible, by the way, before this becomes about religion. I'm just saying, when you bring something about religion and you're sitting there looking kind of like a hoe, while you're fucking some guy, you're not married and blah, blah, blah. It's just hypocrisy to me. It's like, yeah, you're a descendant of Muhammad's, your religion so important, that you're not really following it at all. Like, what is this an excuse not to tell your dad? Like, I don't get it. She just rubs me. It's like, oh, if I can't use my Black boyfriend, I'll use the descendants of Muhammad thing or where I'm from or being a refugee or something else instead of just having balls. And yet, when all the women get together and Chantel wants to go to the bathroom and then Arza says, okay, and when you get back, maybe you can tell everyone how you call me an Afghan hound. It makes me crack up and I just, I think she's hilarious. - Yeah, me too. I like to ask you. - It's like, I know, you know what, I'm running out. Like, I understand everything you're saying and you're making very compelling points, but it doesn't change the fact that I am enjoying her. - No, I know. - 'Cause all these women on all these shows are assholes and they all do things that are hypocritical and they all do things that are like, they say stupid things, they do stupid things and they are-- - Well, I like that we can just talk and argue and argue and it's no big deal. We can just have an opinion 'cause some friends are just like, running is mean to me. It's like, no, I mean, I have an opinion. - Yeah, but although you should know, you should know, Ronnie, you have been disinvited from Sellers of Catan this week. - That's good because you know that just leads to pain anyway, but I really loved when we were doing that other podcast last week with Lynette and Stephanie and Lynette at one point 'cause it was kind of like this argument where we were talking about something and not agreeing and I was like, oh fuck her! And you're like, no, well, the understanding part and Lynette said, Ben, you know what, you're really like a good person. She's like, you're like an empathetic one. You really are like really good at like, thinking about someone else's perspective. - And we both kind of stopped and she just stopped and like looked away. I was like, yeah, that's right, bitch, 'cause he is a nice one. - No, I'm not the nice one. - I'm just like, well, you are though. You're very, you're much more understanding. I mean, I'm very cut and dry. Like if somebody liked that bugs me, in my mind now, she's an ignorant racist using a black guy for her own good and taking sexism from her father and using religion in an argument where she has no right to, like I'm taking her, I've turned her into such an awful human being in my head that actually hearing you say, you know, the other side of it, I'm like, oh, okay, maybe I'm just being an asshole. So it's good. - It's okay, you're allowed to, it's reality TV. If there's any place where you're allowed to have a very like impassioned opinion about someone, it's reality TV. So even though I think Arza's hilarious and she talks like a Californian so much and she says ridiculous things all the time and like things that would make you want to punch her in the face, I still think that she's like a highly entertaining whereas you, like for instance, like you love like the women on like Atlanta, like you always are saying like, you hate me, you hate me, but you think she's so entertaining. Like I don't even find her entertaining. I can't stand it. - Yeah. - So it's just, yeah, it's fun. We're all on this particular subject. We both found stuff from our personal lives. Like you and your boyfriend and just coming out in general. And then me with being from a family like that where I'm so infuriated to see my uncles basically sitting there and not, you know, not the old country uncles and like my grandfather who obviously I love very much and loved when they were all around. So it's not that I hated them or anything, but I see that and I grew up around people talking like that and putting you down because you're not doing like, what are you doing? You're selling fucking used furniture. Like really you're going to judge what I'm doing with my life. So I get mad based on personal stuff that I'm taking from my own life. Where I'm like, I don't care if you're from the old country. That does not excuse racism. So a lot of that is me yelling at my own family as a teenager, you know? - Not everyone's as strong as you are, I like, with somebody like that at the same time. - We should. - On different levels. - We should have Arzo on and see you two battle it out over old country politics. - Personal politics. - Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't battle it out. I'd just say what I said to you. - She's like, how is she supposed to be? - She's not going to stand up to her dad, you know? That's a big thing when you're from a family with controlling men like that. Because in their country, they really are the boss. They really do everything. Women do die. If they look at another man, they can die, you know? It's not a joke. And so when they come to this country with that shit and start the, oh, you're not going to get married to the girls in the family. You're like, they don't care that you graduated from Harvard. They care that you're not married or you can't keep a boyfriend. It's just so gross. And I know that that's the way they grew up. But listen, you know, a lot of our grandparents grew up with racism and a lot of horrible shit that we're not going to put up with now. And I think that that should extend to immigrants as well. I don't think that some immigrants should get off with racist comments and sexist comments because they're from another country. Fuck that. Welcome to America. If you can enjoy our target, you can enjoy our rules against racism and sexism. Okay? Beatch. - Okay. - Okay. - Okay, girl. My temper-pedic mattress is waiting for me. - Well, this was a feisty-- - We have temper-pedic mattresses and we're trying to stomp out racism. - This was a feisty way to end the podcast. Who would have thought bloods when heels would get into steep social issues? - Lord knows I didn't. - Well, we have been talking for three hours. So I think it's time to just settle down and finish up the episode. - I actually feel really good. Thank you. I've needed to yell for days. I've just had that energy where I'm just pissed off and feels so good. It feels like a workout for my hatred. - So good. I'm glad you got to flex those muscles. - Yeah. - So everyone, if you want to read more Rants from Ronnie, you can go to trashtalktv.com or trashtweettv. All our social media is on watchwhatcrapins.com and join us on Facebook, Facebook.com/watchworkrapins. Support us on Patreon and if you support us, you can listen to the bonus episode this week, which again is all about Avengers and a little bit about Floyd Mayweather and Manny Pacquiao, all that fun stuff. Pretty much everything that happened on Saturday. And... - We did not talk about umami burger. I'm surprised that didn't come up. - Oh, when I had to send back my burger, when they like made me two burgers that were like way overcooked and they even brought a third burger and I was like, just stop. - 'Cause you mommy burgers. - 'Cause no, still gray in the middle. Get out of here with you, umami burger. - How do you, how do you overcook two burgers when the only thing you have to do is make burgers? - Yeah, your restaurant is based on burgers for Christ's sake, the mommy burger. Like, why, why did you-- - Go to stout, go to stout. - Seriously. - So, um, anyway, um, thanks for any and we will be back on Thursday with Michelle Collins. - Yeah. - So, thanks everyone. Bye. - Bye. 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