Archive.fm

Watch What Crappens

#173: Kim Richards' Pride & Prejudice

Duration:
1h 34m
Broadcast on:
01 Apr 2015
Audio Format:
other

Buckle your seat belts because there's a lot of ranting coming your way (but in the most charming way). Ben Mandelker (@banterblender) and Ronnie Karam (trashtalktv.com) have plenty to say about the nasty, scandalous events on "Shahs of Sunset" and the "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" reunion. Plus, there's always room for "Southern Charm." Pour yourself a martini and listen with your pals.
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He came by my school for career day and said he was a big row as man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend. My friend still laughing at me to this day. Not everyone gets B2B. But with LinkedIn, you'll be able to reach people who do. Get a $100 credit on your next ad campaign. Go to LinkedIn.com/results to claim your credit. That's LinkedIn.com/results. Terms and conditions apply. LinkedIn, the place to be. To be. Watch what crap is. Watch what crap is. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is. Who cares what crap is. Watch what crap is. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is. Who cares what crap is. Who cares what crap is. Who cares what crap is. Who cares what crap is. Watch what happens when there's so much that crap is. Hey everyone. Welcome to Watch what Crapins and podcasts about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Madelker from BsideBlog.com and the Bantur Blender podcast. Joining me as always is the wonderful and lovely Ronnie Karam from TrashShockTV.com. Hey Ronnie. Hello there, Ben. Hello there, Ronnie. How are you doing today? Good. I was just reading our Twitter and people are still horrified by our Melbourne accents. And I was like, yeah, I agree. I think they're actually getting worse by the week, but they're, God, they're getting so much more fine. Yeah, it's like, if there's like a Venn diagram of a southern accent and a South African accent and Australian accent and a British accent, ours is right in the middle. Which is like a little bit of everything. I think somehow that like winds up being like a Philadelphia accent. I don't know. Yeah, there's everything. My Texas comes out. And then now that they've got that Petafluor bit, there's like Spanish, Puerto Rican, Indian, Thailand. She's a mongrel. She's a mongrel. She's a mongrel. You can't add all those things together. Too much, too much for us to be able to explode. So anyway, for people who want to follow us on social media, you can go to Watch what Crapins.com, find all our links. Just go there. Don't be a terrible person. Go there, and you'll find them, and your life will be just wonderful. But of course, our chief among those is our Facebook page, facebook.com/watchworkrapins, where there's just so much fun stuff. We talked about this in our first podcast of the week, because guess what? We do too now. We talked about the bingo board. Hopefully there'll be more of those to come so that way you can get like a real game going. Watch what Crapin's bingo. It's fun. It's all the rage. Go to Facebook page to check that out. And of course, you know it's coming next to plug for patreon, patreon.com/watchworkrapins. You can support us. Every little bit helps. We really appreciate it. And some day we will make tote bags, and we'll put a phrase on it. Who knows? So anyway, support us there. It really means a lot to us. And Roni, did I take you here? Did I take you here? Where you get all the bonus episodes and bring us in parties, darlings. Yeah. It's actually things. You should not just hand us money for nothing. Yeah. Yeah. Actually, if you, if you donate just a dollar per episode, you get access to our weekly bonus episode. And we just recorded our bonus episode and boy. Oops, fun. We had a fun. Today was about the new shows on Bravo. And it was also an ode to Chantal from gallery girls who did an article for urban outfitters that was posted by one of you lovely readers on our Facebook page. Facebook.com/watchrapins. And it was actually hilarious. We did the whole article, reviewed all of her outfits and her dreams and ambitions for new hair, her jumpsuits. It's really fun. That bonus episode is getting so fun because we don't have to talk about Bravo. We can talk about whatever the hell we want. Sometimes we're just clipping our nails and sometimes we're getting super serious about like cereal and stuff. So check that out. It's like a whole different podcast. But in this case, we were talking exclusively about Bravo and I mean, we really, we really did go to town on Chantal. So if you guys are missing some good old fashioned gallery girls coverage, guess what? We have some there and that's no April Fool's joke. Yeah, join us. Yeah, it's a funny one. But anyway, and also thank you to everybody who supports us because I'm actually, this is what I do now. Can you believe that? I mean, I'm poor, but this is like what I do now because if you lovely people, I could just sit around all day and be a seaward. So thanks. This is actually going to support us now. We are like, this is actually one time my mom was like, how can you support yourself? Get serious. Well, guess what, mother? I am serious. Don't, don't, don't. Yeah, this is like the sequel to Danzig's song, Mother. Mother. I am serious now. You guys have watched my mommy issues come full circle. By the way, another thing for people who listened to the bonus episode. There were a lot of MJ slider deliveries. Wow, a lot of trucks came through. Oh, god, girls like April Fool's or what? It's like also was pulling in April Fool's on her. Yeah, exactly. Like every time a truck came up. They're like, sorry, this one doesn't have sliders. They're just watching MJ bottom nails across the street. MJ comes running down the staircase. She's like, yay, the sliders are here. It opens up. It's just nothing but candles and a few like bottles of diamond water. And I was like, oh. And then she goes upstairs. And just as she like gets up to her condo, you're like, oh, shit, it's like the ice cream man. And instead of a do, do, do, do, do, do, do, it's like a. I thought that was my favorite part where they're like, whoop, beep, beep. Anytime MJ hears a thing backing up, she's like, sladda time. She goes running out. She's meeting with Ryan Seacrest about season 18 on a shot of sunset and some league. And she's like, sorry, Ryan runs downstairs. Poor MJ. It's not only her. They all eat the sliders. She's just the one that lives close by anywhere across the city. It's just that MJ lives across the street. So that's why she gets the she gets the brunt of this joke. But you know, when that when this truck goes by, Resis neighborhood, you know, he's running down there also. Sliders coming. That's so Persian. They come in a truck. When people get their sliders in the box in the supermarket, we get them by a truck. You know, Persians, we like to do it bigger and better. That's so Persian. Geeze cake. Geeze is like, I will not have any sliders because the truck delivery man tried to fuck me. That's right. I said it. The guys like, why don't you want the sliders? Like you put an order. I drove them all the way out here because you tried to fuck me. There. I said it. I tried to be nice. I'll say in front of you and your other customers. You tried to fuck me. That's all. So funny. So what do you want to talk about today, Ben? Well, I think we already have a pretty ample transition. I think we have a segue right there from all that. Shah's a sunset talk. Do I want to move into the chairs? Do I want to move into the Shah's or do they want to move into us? Yes. All right. Well, I would like to thank everybody for not giving me shit about my tirade last week against the Shah's because I really thought I was going to get some crack. I kept checking our comments. And no one did. Actually, people kind of agreed. And this week, Geeze still added acting like a freaking right victim, which obviously she's not. And I have to say her friends are terrible people. Again, I mean, I know I said that every week, but God, beyond terrible. I mean, everyone's terrible. Let's just let's get something out of the way. Okay. Geeze is awful. Mike is awful. Jessica's awful. And the rest of them are awful in the middle. So this is not going to be a who side of your on. It's more like which side is the worst at this moment at any given moment. At any given frame of the show. Who deserves to die first, basically? Not sure, but because he's got a good body. Okay. Well, let's start at the beginning before it got totally ugly. Reza is like demoing a house, doing it totally wrong and knocking everything off with hammers, which is going to leave big gaping holes in the wood. You idiot. You really want to reframe that entire house. Like you want to have to reframe all the windows for someone who supposedly knows what he's doing. I know more from flipping three houses, bitch. Stop taking hammers to shades. Yeah. Is that going to be fun? What is this guy so much? We have to put in new window frames? What? We ought to put Chevron on the side here. So if you need to take down this window, there's not enough room for the Chevron patterns. That's so Persian. Um, I love that he decided to kick his mom out of his wedding and he's telling his, uh, his little Adam. He's asking him where he wants to have the wedding and I'm only bringing this up because Adam said, I want to ride something big in Harry and stinky, which was awesome. Uh, you can do that. I mean, he meant an elephant in Thailand, but you know, you couldn't do that at the four seasons. The problem is that probably Bravo's saying, Hey, you guys all need to go to Thailand. Like, when you guys need to go on trip, we'll pay for you to go to Thailand. And Reza's family's like, No, we want the wedding at the four seasons. And that's probably what it is. Adam's like, I want to go to Thailand. Just my, you know, that's the conjecture. They better go to Thailand because that's going to be amazing. That's so tight to have to be in Thailand to have some bad time. Oh, they're so different than persons. Persians are so little. Persians are like, don't give me any noodles. Just give me some rice and but get it crusty on the bottom. That's so Persian. Look at that hairy elephant. That's so Persian. Thailand? That even that name is so Thai. Like, that's so Thai. Like, how about you call it Iran? That's more Persian. I like the idea. I'm barking at them. Someone just got a score on Bingo. This is very, very professional. All right. Come over here. He's like slinking over here. Like he knows he did wrong, but he couldn't help it. All right. Come on in to sit at my feet, darling. All right. Look up at me, sadly. That's how I like you. Chef Penny, get, get below some food. He's getting tested. He only needs something dry and round. All right. Dry and round. Chef Penny, get below a stuffed hand bun femme immediately. Okay, so they're going to possibly go to Thailand. The other. Oh, and I also love that he said, I don't want a bunch of freeloading persons eating my food and talking shit, which is so beautiful because that's also like every other race's wedding. Well, I was also like, isn't that the way the reunions go on this show together? Eat Bravo's food and talk shit. I know, but imagine that times 30. I would love it or 150. I would love it as long as I didn't have to actually be there. But that's how Lebanese weddings are too. It's like 500 people suddenly show up because everybody from the old country and anybody they've ever known or found out about on fucking celebrity, not celebrity, but what's that thing like my family tree.com or whatever. Yeah, or ancestry.com. Darling, don't look there. I don't want to see your real parents. Oh my God. One of our family reunions. The t-shirt said incest is best because so much of us are born from that. I've got toes stuck together. I mean, we have like first cousins getting married in the old country. Y'all ain't no joke. You just want to make sure that you don't have a strand of cholera passing on from somebody. It's like your cousin doesn't have cholera. Fuck him. All right, make children with him. My friend is a first generation Nigerian and he said that when his sister got married, you know, people from Nigeria just like showed up. Like, they just were like people. It was just like tons of people. They just like, yeah, they show up and they got like a station wagon full of 2011 East people and they pile up. They bring Tupperware. That's another Lebanese tradition. Grandmas, the the cities, the grandmas all bring Tupperwares in their purse and they fill that shit and put it back in their gigantic diaper bag purses. Classy. So I see where he's coming. Go to Thailand because they're not going to be asking you for anything at all there. But I love how Reza on the one hand is all about conspicuous consumption. Do you hear that noise? It's like the ghost of Reza's mustache is coming. He's like, what are you talking about? I have the windows open in such a way that it's creating ghost noises in here. Can you hear it? Yeah, yeah. It's MJ. It's the ghost of MJ's slider fart. So, but I love how Reza is like on the one hand, he's all about buying a giant gold wash to show up all the money he has and yet he's like when it comes to like actually using that money to like feed people? No. I mean, I get it too. I mean, I wouldn't want freeloaders. Come on. Reza's amount of money. Like he talks about all this money he's making, but we've seen his apartment. Yeah. I mean, come on. That's like an East Hollywood $1,500 if that. Yeah, it's small. It definitely is small. MJ has a nice apartment than he does. That's what kills me about these people. They're talking about how much money they make. Actually, MJ's apartment has improved a lot. It's good. It's a nice building too. I will say this. I mean, it's like a nice. It used to be gross. Like you could smell the dog Pete from the TV, but now she's done something to it. Maybe met a gay person. Well, MJ is more enjoyable to me this year in general. You know, I, you know, I always love it. We give MJ so much shit, but I love her actually. I like her too. She's the only one I would actually like to hang out with. She could be nasty, but because, you know, I mean, she almost can't help but with that mother of hers, but at the end of the day, I actually love MJ. Listen, I love a girl who likes to eat with mommy issues. Come on. It's on my clan. And I like that she's given herself over just a gaining weight. She's like, listen, this is what we do. We just get fat. Well, she's done with the girl from sweat, blood, sweat and heels did where she's like, just be fat, but like tie it, tie a really tight piece of cloth around your middle so you have an hourglass. Because that's pretty much what MJ's done. I think MJ's look looks better than she has. She's done. Yeah. Well, she's put all that brown makeup on her underarm. It's contouring. You're right. It's probably contouring. Yeah. Mm-hmm. So anyway, okay. So resin, Adam, we're talking about their wedding. Gigi made a comment in the interstitials talking about how she's sick of Persian men cheating and Persian men just cheat and get away with it. No, no, no, she's sick of it and she's making a stand. And then she says, well, first of all, it's hilarious because you know that so many Persian men have cheated with Gigi. She's kind of a whore. Yeah. And then, like, notoriously, I'm not just saying that. And then she slept with Jax. Yeah. Okay. Anybody who argues with me that Gigi's a whore, she slept with Jax. And I think she admitted it on Twitter. So shut up. But I'm arguing with nobody. I know. I'm sorry. But I also love that she ended that by saying, for the first time in my life, I just want to focus on myself. Oh, yes. She's been so selfish. When have you ever focused on anything other than yourself? She's just been, well, you know, let's not forget Gigi's extensions. She was going to help a lot of people with that. That's true. She was giving with that. Yeah. And by the way, have you ever noticed that Gigi's never had big, long hair? Like, why is she into extensions? She's never had... She has very thin hair, actually. It's true. She has a very small bun. If anyone should have had extensions, it should have been Lily Galichi because she... She had a big hair on her hand, some giant extensions. But she would talk about it. She'd be like, you know, talk about how she had all those extensions. Gigi is like, this is like Sonya's Toaster Oven. She just like chose something that she sort of knows something about and said, okay, this will be my brand. Yeah. She should have like a brand of condoms. Knives. Knives. Knives. Knives and condoms. Yeah. Knives and condoms. They work well together. I'm totally... Totally. Use a condom, stab your guy or stab a hole in the condom if you want to keep your guy. It's like a whole circle of life. Yes. So Gigi has been hanging out with the Sifa in the apartment, which is boring, doesn't lead to anything. Well, the other thing is that so MJ went up to Shervin's new house and Shervin's friend was like, yeah man, like, if you want chicks to like, you have to have a lot of... Shervin and a Sifa. No, a Sifa's the girl, the other guy. There's another guy who was like, yeah man, like, the more Instagram likes that you have, the more girls are going to dig you. Yeah, he says, girls like likes. Yeah. He's like, yeah man, like, I do crazy things. Like, I like posed in a bathtub full of Cheetos and people like that. So she was like, all right, I guess I'll do it. Yeah, man, like, just like, this got to be, this better work, man. Yeah, so they go spend like $300 on Cheetos and he takes another bath in Cheetos. Yeah. To be fair, it was actually pretty sexy, not because of Cheetos. He's like, he knew how to... Hot and a gigantic wiener too, they showed it. I mean, it was pants. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Shervin's hot. Shervin's hot and he seems like nice. I think they're going to get rid of Mike because they got an almost lookalike, but hotter. Yeah. And without a planet of the ape's face. Yeah. He's hot. The only problem is that he does hang out with Jersey Shore type people. Well, listen, they've all got so much money. Sometimes you just have to forgive things. He's got a giant wiener he's hot. He seems nice. He takes a bath in Cheetos. Like, so far, I don't see anything to dislike. As far as the rest of them, I see my cousins of family reunions and I put up with their asses too. And we have fun. It's just, you know, how much time are you willing to donate? It's definitely an upgrade from Sammy from season one. Oh, my God. Sammy's still on it. And Sammy's still bringing it on. I think they showed him this year too already, didn't they? Probably. And Sammy's still billing himself as a cast member of shots of Sunset while he's showing houses. Somebody's just told me that the other day. Well, I still think the hottest guys to ever be on the show were GG's two exes, Bo Meade. I still think Bo Meade was crazy hot. Oh, my God. Abusive Adrian Brody. Is it Adrian Brody that actor? Adrian Brody knows? Yeah, he had that big flat nose. But there was something about him that was, I thought, so sexy. Definitely was not his laugh. That's for sure. He didn't, like, leave a black laugh. Or his attitude or his personality. But there was something about the whole package together that was, like, fairly sexy. Talk crazy and flawed physically. I love a man who's really hot but has, like, one flaw that keeps him insecure enough to date. Like a nose, an eye twitch. And then she, GG had that, like, 22-year-old who is also, like, crazy, sexy. Yeah. But he's actually more, like, hot. I actually find that Oh Meade is sexy. And the other guy is, like, hot. Yeah, agreed. Oh Meade is more like, okay, all bottom. And then, why am I saying that? And then the other guy is like, you could just take him whenever you needed to. Yeah. And then you had a shot in like this. I took diet pills with my coffee and I'm acting like a fucking crackhead over it. I don't, me too. But, uh, but Shervin, you know, you know, solid, solid. You know, but Shervin just needs time and we'll hate him too. What I want to know is where are these people getting their money? Cause Shervin officially has a gigantic mansion, Daddy Warbucks house in the hills. Where did that come from? Where's that money? He, uh, he, he is the CEO of a giant paint empire in Iran called Shervin Williams. Shervin Ron gas. He is the mayor of Shervin Oaks. Have you heard of it? Yeah, it's for Kim Rince. He, uh, he sells military hardware, you know, Shervin tanks. He has Shervin and cheese. I don't have to say "Chilfera." He, uh, his brother is actually a very, uh, very famous football player in Iran. His name is Richard Shervin. Have you heard of him? Oh, good. No, I can't. You know I'm not going to get me football jokes. You just killed it for me. Thanks a lot. We should have just ended at Shervin Williams. Yeah, that was pretty good. Um, so he's hot. He's got a lot of money like him so far waiting to see how he's going to make me hate him. Cause that's always a great mystery, isn't it? You know, when you like somebody, it's like, how are they going to make me hate them? Yeah. So, wait, what happened between the Frito scene and the big barbecue? I took so many notes this week cause I was so scared to do two episodes. I was like, oh no, we better have something to talk about. But then I forgot that we talk like half an hour about Shervin Williams. No, Shervin Williams, Shervin Williams. We're going to be talking about one show for five hours. Okay, the next part is actually my favorite part of the whole show. Yeah. And that is awesome, exciting that she's going to be a feminist by bringing over some feminist author and then making of the veil sexy and showing most of her naked body under a gold veil. Oh God. You know, I'm so there's so much offensive about what she's doing that I don't even know where to begin. I mean, maybe you should take a week of diamond water. It might turn down a little bit. That was the person pop priest. This is soul will enter your body and you'll realize where to be offended first. So there's some movement in Iran where women are taking off their veils, well, not just their veils, like their whole burquers, right? Yeah. And they're showing their real faces behind like pieces of paper that say like I'm free bitch or something. Right. So she wants to bring that to America, which is kind of hilarious because we don't really have that problem here. So let's go. So whatever Asa does is never going to make it to Iran. Yeah, it's like protesting Paris Disney. Like that's a Paris. Exactly. And the funniest thing is so do you remember last summer? I think I posted on our page or whatever. I was coming out of the gym and I saw a sign that said like if you enter this area, there's we were filming for Shah's sunset, you know, and I saw Reza and everything. And then I saw in the preview, Asa doing her performance art, and if I had stayed around, if I just stayed for 10 minutes, I would have seen this whole demonstration that she's going to do. And I'm so mad that I didn't. But the funniest part is this whole thing about like taking down the veil or making the veil sexy. It all happens in front of a Buffalo Wild Wings, which for some reason, I feel it really undermines. It's like on one side of the street is Buffalo Wild Wings, on the other is LA Fitness and Fresh and Easy. That's where she did it. Yeah, she did it. That's where the street was like, that's where they said they were filming right there. Oh my God. You know Spider-Man was like passing by with Marilyn Monroe and their dirty costumes like what a dumbass. You know, the people like people of the Las Vegas seafood buffet are like hmm, should I get another helping or should I see this protest outside? Should I get another helping of this plastic lobster or should I go see what this chicken and bikini and a veil is doing? It's like come to DSW. Come for the shoes. Stay for the protests. All the and by the way, all these things are in that area. Okay, listen, what is she doing? First of all, she's saying, I love the veil. The veil is sexy. No, no, it's not. Okay, I've read articles this year actually about women standing up for it and saying, you know, this is so women don't feel sexualized. And it's, you know, when a woman is walking down covered from head to toe and she can only have her eye sticking out, it's very freeing because they're not subjected to men ogling them and finding them sexy. They can just be themselves and it's based on their personality. And I'm like, if it's based on your personality, why is your mouth covered? Like, let's get over it, okay? You're using that because some man told you that and that's some bullshit. That is oppression. And part of being a human being is having people finding you sexually attractive. I mean, that's part of the fun of it, you know? Yeah, and if you try to make a burqa sexy, you know what's going to happen? You're going to have Chantal on the Urban Outfitters website wearing one and being like, this is the linen burqa from the new, like, no choices, like no advice collection, you know? If only, if that's what it breeds, then go for it. That movement was worth it. But otherwise, shut the fuck up and stop trying to make oppression sound sexy. It's not sexy. Just because it's from the old country doesn't mean it's sexy, okay? It's like when you went to the old country and you were so excited to go to Temple and then they made you go through the back door and sit upstairs and you're trying to write a complaint letter to management. Bitch, what do you think is happening? That's what that culture is. You can't celebrate something. You know, you're supposed to be fighting this for the women. You're supposed to be fighting the oppression and making a burqa sexy is not fighting it. It's making oppression sexy. You stupid fucking bitch. Hey, attention. So on the other end of the spectrum, we then had Jessica trying on bathing suits for Mike to go to Shervin's birthday party. And what I loved about this, Mike's like, hey, go and try some bathing suits. Let's see what bathing suits, which is already kind of like fucked up. Like, why does he tell her to try bathing suits? Why does she have to model it for Mike, which, you know, he might as well put a burqa on her. But so she comes out in this slutty ass bathing suit with these weird like cutouts and crisscrossy things, like real like trashy. Like, do I look, do I look enough like other girls for you to want to fuck me at this party, Mike? Yeah, and he's like, yeah, this is good. That's really classy. That's, that's, that's really classy. I like that. Yeah, that's, he's like, oh, yeah, baby. Yeah. Yeah, I'm like, in what world is this a classy bathing suit? Is this, like, where are they going? You got to have it to Jessica, though, for a girl who's not Persian, she's really learned the ways. I know. It's like, did Outback Steakhouse open up a public pool? This is like, this is not, this is not what we need right now. It's like the Zima, the Zima pool party, I don't know. Oh, let me see. Jessica's bathing suit. Gigi is cutting Mike out of Facebook pics. That was a fun step. Oh, yeah. That, yeah. So here's an interesting, this is funny. So, past aggressive social media things. So, Gigi cuts Mike, crops Mike out of a photo. Gigi takes a photo with, with her and Jessica and Mike. She crops out Mike and puts a picture of her and Jessica, which is already fucked up. I'm talking about how uncomfortable you feel, then pose a picture with the girlfriend and do this in a totally passive aggressive way. And then she says in her comment, "Oh, I cropped out Mike because it wasn't a good picture of, he's a bad pick of Mike." It actually was a great picture of Mike, and you know, I rarely defend Mike on that front. It was a great picture of Mike. It was so passive aggressive of her, but of course, what does he do? He's like, totally returns in a totally passive aggressive way. I like downloads an entire app so he can like write a font on her face. Yeah, he goes, "bad pick over her face," which is more just aggressive than passive aggressive. And this of course then becomes the world war. Well, here's my problem with all of this. You know, that trip was a year ago. They keep saying it was last year, it was a year ago. She's been hanging out regularly with Mike and Jessica since then. It's not until the cameras came in that she decided she was going to be a victim and start all this bullshit of not talking to Mike. That's why he's so confused. Yeah, yeah, exactly. But it was also stupid for Mike to post that. Like, "Gosh, get over yourself." So she cropped you out of an Instagram photo, like, deal with it. Who cares? And I like when they were saying at the party, they're like, "Oh my God, have you seen the Instagram?" She's been doing on Instagram, or what he's been doing on Instagram, and rest is like, "I don't follow him." He's like, "I only follow chevronfans.com." I just look at different chevron patterns and think about how they can put them all on the wall. He doesn't even follow his friends. Okay, so we're talking about every little detail. So it comes to the pool party. Everybody starts showing up. Gigi comes in some big, stupid hat. Mike's sitting there cruising other women and talking about how ugly their faces are, but their bodies are hot. And I'm like, "You've seen your face right, because you look like the Hulk before, and you look like the Hulk after." And neither one of those is a compliment. Yeah. So I don't know who you're calling Butterface, little man. So, you know, then Gigi hears him and gets even more offended. And then instead of this coming out and just like a nice, even a decent fighting way, Gigi's so stupid. She's drunk so fast that she just comes to early and splooches all over the place and starts screaming that he tried to fuck her in Mexico or something. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Wherever they were. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care that Jessica's here. I don't care. You're trying to fuck me, Mike. Yeah, and your girlfriend's right there too. And Jessica stayed calm at first, and then she went into Jessica mode where she's like, "You better take off my microphone, Michael. I'm getting out of here. You better get me out of here." Yeah, I started screaming about taking her mic, and she's not doing this on camera and everything. And I love that she's like, "Jackio," where she doesn't want to show her emotions in public, but she totally is just having a cow in public, you know? Now, Jackio at least waited until her mic was turned off before she started ripping everyone's nuts off, okay? You don't scream how you want to be classy in public. Screaming is not being classy in public. You understand the death? You know what's funny? This is also a classic instance of girl on girl hate, because even though we think Gigi is handling it in the totally wrong way, and we hate the way she's handling it, all that Jessica knows at that point is Gigi saying, "You tried to fuck me, okay?" And what does Jessica do? She gets mad at Gigi instead of getting mad at her man, who probably did try to fuck Gigi, you know? And I hate that. Why do women do that? Don't get mad at the girl. Get mad at the guy. Get mad at the guy. Because it's how the girl's doing it. The girl is shaming her in public. It's not about the guy. She's doing it right in front. She's disrespecting her and making her look like an idiot in public. I think she has every right to be pissed at Gigi. Well, I mean, everyone has a right to be pissed at Gigi, but I understand that, yes. Oh, trust me. That's the problem though. That's cut off in the car on the way home. I'm sure. But the thing is this though, the headlines should not be your shaming me in public. The headlines should be, "You did what to me, Mike?" That's what you know what I'm saying? And then be mad at being shamed in public. But that's what happens on these shows. You're not supposed to be fighting with your significant other in public. So whatever she has with Mike, I mean, it's actually the polite choice of her to wait and save it for home. And she did stay calm. For a good solid five minutes, she sat there just putting her hair back in a ponytail or whatever, covering up her slutsuit with a pajomina or whatever. She was taking a moment, but Gigi just kept screaming and screaming so everybody could hear that her man was flirting and stuff like that. And so Gigi was totally disrespecting her, and she's lucky that she didn't get her fucking eyes poked out with some bad gels, because she was about to have that happen to her. And I would have been cheering that on. Yeah, I mean, I would have been too. Don't get me wrong. It's just more like a video for her. And she's supposed to be friends with Jessica, and she's turning on Jessica in public and basically calling her husband to cheat her in public. Fuck her. I'm with Jessica. Kick her ass, bitch. Yeah, I mean, I'm not saying that Jessica is not entitled to be mad at G.G. I just always get frustrated. No, I always feel like the man gets off, and the women get sidetracked by getting mad at each other, and I just feel like the guy gets off. I think in this case that he's not going to be getting off. Literally, he's not going to be getting off for a while. So then Mike gets all, he's flustered in mad, which makes sense. So then what happens is then Mike pulls aside like Reza and Shervin. And Shervin's going through this thing where he's like, "Bro, I didn't know what to do. I wanted to tell you, I was really struggling." And then Reza's like, "Well, we made a pinky swear, and I couldn't break the pinky swear, because you know the pinky swear, that's a powerful thing." Like, you know, that's a person. He was like, "Mike's like, you're my best friend. I consider you like blood. You're like blood. How could you not tell me?" But Mike, you don't understand. There was a pinky swear. Homegirl made me do a pinky swear. I can't break that. That's so Persian. Just take it to a pinky swear. So funny. And then everybody, oh, and then Mike classes it up by saying, "That ugly bitch isn't even worthy of my dick." And then the friends follow him down and say, "Oh no, you have to confront her. Confront her publicly. It's not going to go away. Go back in there and yell at a woman." And the only classy thing to do is publicly scream at a woman in color with slut in front of hundreds of people on national TV. These people are awful. They're all, every single one of them is awful. Like, he's trying to do the right thing and get the hell out of there with his fucking fiance, or future fiance. And then the thing is also, as ridiculous as it was, those are pinky swear. At its core though, he was right that they said, "Listen, this is for Gigi to discuss with Mike." But they didn't, I don't think they realized that Gigi would just prolong it. I think they thought Gigi was going to do it at this party. They all knew. They were standing around all tens. They knew she was going to make an ass out of him at the party. And what I'm saying is, when they initially did the pinky swear a few episodes, I think my understanding is that they thought that Gigi would then, after this pinky swear, then go and confront Mike about this in over the days and days. Okay, I'll give you that. But then when they went to Adam's birthday party and she was telling people and they knew that she was causing all those trouble that she was adding down. Then they probably, but then Mike, but the thing was that then Mike that made this all about like, "How could you do this to me? How could you not tell me?" "Ah, no, no, no. I'm like, Mike, that's really not the issue here. Yeah, you might be annoyed." But like, it was just like, I wrote them because he knows how it works. This bitch has been saying this on national TV now for four weeks or whatever. I'm with him. We're totally on the different pages when it comes to the shots of sunset. We always have been. I know. I think I just really dislike Mike, so I'm just not going to give him anything. I hate Mike too. But here's my thing. He's openly talking about which women he wants to fuck at this party openly. Like in front of everybody, in front of the cameras, you know Jessica knows he does it. You know she's no idiot and she knows who she's marrying. So part of me is like, of course she already knows that he's doing this and he probably cheats all the time. Maybe they have some kinky, you know, open relationship type thing. Lord knows it wouldn't be the first person in this town. I've met so many people with weird relationships that I'm not even judging their relationship at this point. At this point, it's just like these friends are so mean to each other that they just take each other down on purpose every season and he knows that now he's the target and it's pissing him off. Yeah, well the thing that I thought was funny was that then so finally he decides they're going to leave. And then all these awful friends are like, well you know he just left which makes him look really guilty. Yeah, especially when his girlfriend is screaming and yelling at him that he better get home right now. I can't feel too bad for Jessica because she is dating some guy possibly because she can be on TV because she did bring her reality bit just here. She hasn't really shown it yet. And they are married by the last year that she would turn into an awful reality whore which she has. So maybe she's using him a little bit for that but I did still feel bad for her because all of this shit is happening the week of their real wedding. Yeah, they got married this week. You know how awkward that must be for a bride. She's just gone through all this shit. She's converted religions to be with this fucking loser and to be if all of this is happening the week of their wedding. Oh, well that's what you get when you marry a thousand there. That's right girl. You made the wrong choice with that one. I can't believe she even did it. I can't believe she went through with it. What a moron. At this point you deserve what you get. Back then when this was shot I'm still feeling for you. But in real time you're marrying a guy who put his face on a bus. Openly ogled people in national TV when you knew he was doing it. You're gross. You deserve what you get. And I hope you got a preen up Fuji Fiji water lady. All right, well why don't we move on to Beverly Hills. Yeah, I can't believe we spent time. I just realized when I suggested Shah's because we're already talking about it. I can't believe we put Shah's in front of Beverly Hills reunion. I'm so sorry. Yeah, that was my charity for the week. All right, talking Shah's for that long. Never happening. Shah's before Beverly Hills reunion, which Beverly Hills talk about deplorable people. Now Beverly Hills reunion. Wow. First of all, recapping this and these are the worst things to recap when you're a recapper because it's like and then she said this and then she said this and then she said this but I have to say totally fun because. This episode is brought to you in part by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now. You're driving, cleaning and even exercising. But what if you could be saving money by switching to Progressive? Drivers who saved by switching saved nearly $750 on average and auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts. Multitask right now, quote today at Progressive.com, aggressive casualty insurance company and affiliates. National average 12 month savings of $744 by new customer survey who saved with Progressive between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential savings will vary. Discounts not available in all states and situations. I'm Sandra and I'm just the professional your small business was looking for, but you didn't hire me because you didn't use LinkedIn jobs. LinkedIn has professionals you can't find anywhere else, including those who aren't actively looking for a new job, but might be open to the perfect role, like me. In a given month, over 70% of LinkedIn users don't visit other leading job sites. So if you're not looking on LinkedIn, you'll miss out on great candidates like Sandra. Start hiring professionals like a professional post your free job on linkedin.com/acquire today. These bitches look, we always like to say there's like a flower of bitchiness, right? And when people first come on a reality show, they're really nice and then that bitch flower starts to slowly bloom. You know, I've said that many, many times on this show, there's a whole fucking garden now. I mean, these bitches have bloomed into multiple gardens of bitchery. I mean, they're like full gardens now. These women have all bloomed. Yeah, there's been a lot of fertilizer. You know, that's right. They talk a lot of shit and they grow their gardens of bitchery. Yes, I cannot believe how awful Kim Richards has become. She's become a despicable human being. I hate her now. I used to love her so much and I think she's just a disgusting piece of trash now. Well, that's because she's also under the influence of many things, including Jigsaw, aka Brandy. Well, now that I've seen her actually... Both kind of Brandy's. If you see, you know, now that I'm seeing her in action, if you correlate this behavior to some of her season one behavior, I don't think... I think she's always been a bitch. She was just more quiet then. Yeah, absolutely. It's actually very fascinating to look back through the lens of this season where I feel like we are seeing the real Kim Richards at last. And I know that, in many ways, you can't stand Kyle. I know you feel like Kyle is an asshole too. I know she does this and this just for whatever. But I went hang out with Kyle. But I have to say, when you watch that reunion last night and you hear these sisters have not talked in three months, and Kim Richards says we haven't, and I'm very happy right now, and you could see that look on Kyle's face. And regardless of what you think, to hear that from, like, your sister is such a hurtful thing to know how much that she's had to put up with all this shit. I'm sorry. I was like, I felt for Kyle Richards at that moment very, very genuinely. I also felt for Kyle Richards because something happened with the filler where they put it all in her head. You're not supposed to be putting filler in your brain, Kyle. She looked like a fucking alien. By the way, let's give a round of applause to whoever did the lighting on this reunion. For blasting these women with such light that every wrinkle and crease showed. Oh, I felt bad. That was mean lighting. That was temple veins. Oh my God. That was some cruel, cruel lighting on these women. Or to help us. Cruel intentions. Y'all. Cruel intentions. Every liver spot. Everything. It was all right there. Well, we started this reunion off as we start every reunion off with now. Dandy Andy going. Hi, Kyle. Hi, Brandi. Hi, Kim. Hi, Lisa. Hi, Lisa. Has nobody helped him with this? I know. By the way, I think we have some reinforcements for MJ coming in from the sky. Oh, no. Guys, there's actually a chopper circling overhead right now. It's going to be hearing some. You're going to hear some slider deliveries for a few minutes here. Andy's like one of those 7/11 things. Like when people walk in, it goes ding. It's just like ding. Yeah. Dang. Dang. We get it. A bus full of people is coming through. Get to the fucking point. Get here now and later and get out of here. Oh God. Hi, Lisa. Hi, lighting guy. Hi, craft services guy. Good night. From Watsuhachi. Matsuh kisses. Hi, Chef Penny. Oh, I love that he starts with a random viewer question from so and so from Bloody Blah Falls in Watsuhachi, Matsuhuchi. Kim, your acting career is just taking off. You've been in revenge and Sharknado. Is Sharknado something that people are bragging about now? I think so. Taro read stars in Sharknado. Yeah. Yeah. And I ends hearing. So yeah, we don't have to go through this question by question, but what were the biggest things for you? The first thing I guess was that mean stuff that Kim was saying, like, yeah, we haven't talked and I'm happy not talking because, you know, I'm real happy in my life right now. Your walls are covered in child blood, Kim. Yeah. From your dog attacking Kyle's child. Yeah. Yeah. Kim, I mean, she's like, I mean, I love my sister, but like, I'm happy right now. Well, you're happy because you're on drugs. Yeah, no kidding. I mean, skipping a little bit all over the place, they get to the fact that this dog, Kingsley, has attacked the child and Kyle wasn't going to over victim mode because, you know, I'd call Kyle out on being too much of a victim. I don't think she was going overboard. She wasn't like, my child almost died. She wasn't doing anything like that. She was just saying, we haven't spoken since then. And you notice because Kim refuses to take responsibility and immediately Kim's like, Oh, you want me to tell the truth about what your daughter did? You want me to tell the truth? Like, her daughter was at fault for Kingsley attacking her somehow. And Kim is sitting there just like foaming at the mouth of the huge fucking jack-o-lantern grin on her face, excited to talk about what this child did to be attacked by her dog. Her niece. And, I mean, of course, the daughter's and the only one who's been attacked. I mean, this dog is like that dog from the omen, you know, protecting Damien, but I don't know where Damien is right now. It's Kim. It's Kim. It's Kim is Damien. It's fucking meth face, Kim. Yeah. Why don't you talk about how sober you are, Kim. Your face looks like a crumpled up paper bag. You have meth face. Your chin has disappeared. Your face has sunken into itself, Kim. You literally have meth face. Look it up. Yeah, it is. Oh, God. Kim is just so nasty. And she just sits there defending Brandy. I mean, Brandy also, wow, she is her face. She's fillers are just out of control. I mean, this girl, she needs to dial it back. Brandy is like now getting fillers into the top of her nose because the bottom of her nose had too much shaven off or something. She looks crazy. She isn't a Jossen Wilden steam. She's getting there. She really is. She's getting, you know, she's getting to Mama Elsa. It is crazy. I was pretty disappointed at the other women, though, at how this all began because they just started in jumping all over Brandy. And they weren't wrong. Like, they have a lot of reasons to jump on her for the season, but they didn't wait for the build. Like, they didn't wait for it to be the right time to jump on her. They just all started jumping on her. And you can't do that because then you make her the victim. And Brandy is smart enough to know that if she just sits there quietly by the end of it, she'll become the victim. And she did. Well, I actually don't feel like she came up as the victim. I know she was trying, but her bullshit is so like, it's just so over the top. And it's so undeniable that even with her trying to play the victim, even if you fast forward to the end of the episode when they're talking about the slap, the slap, the slap. And Andy Cohen tries to sort of relate, tries to sort of make it analogous to something. And he says, "Well, it's like when you're playing with a dog, and you're playing with a dog, and then the dog bites you. It's like the dog has gone too far." And then she's like, "Thanks a lot." You know, like, I take enough bullshit. No, she said, "Fuck you." She said, "Fuck you. You don't call somebody a dog." But she's so dumb to think that he wasn't calling her a dog. She is so dumb. And Lisa's going, "It's an analogy, darling." She's like, "You don't call somebody a dog. That's just wrong." She's like, "I don't have analogies. I can--" I've been bullied enough today without being bullied by you. Yeah, it was just bullshit. Because that's what Brandy does. You say one thing. She finds the little thing in that sentence that she can take from it to divert the attention. They even talked about how she diverted earlier in the episode. So if you say-- And Andy says, pardon the comparison, but this is what it's like. And she's like, "Fuck you." He wasn't calling you a dog. He was saying it's the same sort of behavior. It's like, "Oh, God." Yeah, you think you're playing with a cute dog and then a bite too. But that being said, she is a dog. That is actually a good way to put it. But yeah, when she said, "Fuck you." It really-- My opinion of Andy, look, he seems like he's so nice, you know? And look, we have fun in real life, but he just sucks on these. He sucks at his job. When she says, "Fuck you." He's the boss and the host. And he's like, "No, but when a man was-- No, you mad, but when a man was-- No, Brandy, I didn't mean that." Like, what are you worried about that you're not going to be invited to some party at a rental house in the fucking hills of the valley that, like, Adrian Maloof is donating Red Velvet cake vodka for? Like, what are you worried about, Andy? Like, you need to tell that bitch to walk the fuck off the stage, have security escort her out until she can learn to not say, "Fuck you" to the fucking boss. Like, what world do we live in that you get to just say, "Fuck you" to your boss? Yeah, and then he's like, "No, I was supporting you. I was actually supporting you." I was like, "No, actually it wasn't." It wasn't, but also, even if he did mean it in a supportive way, why are you trying to support her? She's slapping people. Yeah, exactly. Why are you trying to make it better because you like some bitch? Like, he likes the most awful people. He loves Adriana from Miami. He loves the first one to ever use violence, like, physical violence on the show. He loves all the most awful people. He just wants to surround himself with these evil, evil, awful people. I don't get it. Well, one thing that I was very happy about to go to the slap was I love how, you know, when Brandy was like, "It was playful." We were just joking, so I said, "Slap, that's all." And then I loved that everyone jumped in and was like, "Listen." You know, like, Brandy at the same time is saying that Kyle was assaulting her when she pushed her hand down. And it's like, "How could you say it's just a joke in one situation?" And then on the other it's like, "I don't condone violence." And then this is the woman who threw wine in someone's face and did a playful slap. It's like, that's the thing I hate about Brandy. She's so self-serving with her arguments. You know, she, you know, how could she say that? She's just terrible at arguing. And that's the reason that her ass ended up shopping at Walmart after divorcing a fucking TV star. Okay, that's why she got no money. She has no arguing skills. She should have been in a freaking gigantic house it was paid for with tons of money instead of horing herself out on reality shows. You know, she's married Eddie Simrian. That guy's not broke. And he's married to Leanne. She should have tons of money. If she really knew how to state her case, she would be wealthy right now and sitting around playing with her children. But instead, she's a stupid hoe who's got to make trouble in drama and she's poor and shopping alone. And she, and she, and she always goes to the jugular. I mean, I thought it was, I thought it was kind of poor of Lisa Vanderpump to get into the mix about whether or not Brandy had sex with that kid. Because it's like, Lisa, that's so beneath you. Like, you don't need to argue about who cares. And it just all it does is get you into, he said she said fight with Brandy. And of course that Brandy. Lisa, you know, Lisa, a lot of the comments today have been about Lisa's behavior. And I, you know, I always stand up for Lisa and I know that it's fucking obnoxious. But last year I thought she was being a fucking idiot if that helps. But this year, you know, I kind of am with Lisa where she's just been taken to the point. You know, a lot of people have been giving her shit about what she said about the parents. Like when she said, why would I call her? I don't, I barely even know her father. You know, that was mean. Like she could have at least sent a text because the classy thing to do if you have manners would be to send a text. But then on the other hand, Brandy would have taken that as, oh, we're friends again because Lisa texted me. And so now I can, you know, try and start filming scenes with her. And I think Lisa's just been taking the point where she's over. Or when they're saying, oh, well, her parents, you know, when she said, I blame the parents. And Lisa's like, well, I was joking telling. Well, I agree that that was a joke. But, you know, you also do hate Brandy. And it also is the parents fault. Yeah, it is. Well, I think that, like, I mean, Lisa is damned if you do damned if you don't about sending a text because if she sent a text, Brandy would have been like, it's so fake. You know, no, no, no. And in fact, the whole reason why Lisa pulled Brandy aside at that party was to say, hey, I heard about your father. I'm so sorry. It's like that she was doing it then. That, that, you know, like some people like to do those things in person. They don't want that. She probably thinking, Oh, I'm going to see her at this party tonight. I'm going to, you know, I'll tell her then, like, you know what I'm saying? And she was damned if she didn't. Brandy was going to get mad at her, no matter what. Well, Lisa is legit. Lisa, Lisa has been legit insensitive with Brandy and a lot of the stuff going on in Brandy's life. But Brandy is sitting there trying to use her father's heart attack to gain sympathy. She doesn't go see your father. She just wears some, like, semi-topless outfit that she's fake crying in at parties. While she's getting wasted and screaming at people, I'm just not buying it. And frankly, I don't feel bad for Brandy. I mean, a house could fall on Brandy and I would be like, eh, you know, poor house. I hope the foundation didn't crack because that's going to be hard to resell. She's a bitch. And, you know, and don't forget the context of all this. This is all in the wake of the fact that last year, Brandy gathered all the housewives together and tried to take down Lisa Vandenheim, tried to, like, remove all her friends, like, totally came at her and Puerto Rico after that Lisa had been so friendly to Brandy had taken her in and whatever. So, not only that, but got her on the show. She wouldn't have been on that show if it weren't for Lisa to befriending her. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So, like, then when Lisa was talking about, like, all the slides that Brandy had done, you know, Lisa was talking about the stupid thing where Brandy said, you've slept with half the people, whatever. And Lisa kept on harping on that comment that joke. She said, well, you put it out there, which I get. But really, the truth is, the real thing you have to remember that this is a woman, Brandy, who totally tried to do something extremely malicious last season, extremely malicious. So, you know, what does she expect? What is she expecting from Lisa? And, you know, and again, anything Lisa does. You're disgusting. Victim mode. And, you know, to bring the dog analogy back, you adopt a dog who is about to get killed. You give it all this love and affection. You train it. It sleeps in your bed. You feed it. You get all the ticks and everything off of it. You make it a happy dog. And then it bites your face off. And what do you do? Do you try and take it back? Do you try and work with it? No, you have it put down. Okay. Rabbit bitches need to just be put down. There is no fixing someone as broken as that. Okay. You can try and glue a tea cup back together, but chances are you're going to be pooping out blood. Well, you know, it's like, you know, they keep saying, well, Lisa knows how to hold onto a grudge. This isn't a grudge. This is, you fucked up the friendship. You fucked up the friendship, Brandy. And that's just that. It's never going to be the same. You go to my house and you steal some weed. You honestly think that's just not going to be hidden under my bed next time you come over. Come on now. I'm not stupid. Yeah. And then, well, the thing is, to get back to the Dutch guy, you know, I think Brandy, the whole reason why I think it came up in the reunion was that Brandy was saying, you were saying rude things about that kid, whatever. And Lisa didn't say anything that was rude. Lisa was just like shocked that this is her son's friend and Brandy was going after him. Like, I don't think it was anything. And Lisa would have said that stuff even if they were friends because it's true. And it's funny. It is funny that Brandy is like so desperate to stay young that she's fucking some child that grew up with Max and Lisa knew when he was seven years old. And the fact that this kid came to Lisa and said, well, I didn't sleep with her. She was too drunk. That doesn't sound like a lie. Why would Lisa make that up? Yeah. I actually, yeah, I agree. I mean, I don't know what happened. And now maybe the kid's lying because he didn't want Lisa to be disappointed in him, which I think probably is the truth. But also, how sad and desperate for Brandy to be like, well, no, well, I fucked him. I did fucking twice in a row, two nights, two nights in a row. It's like, okay, Brandy, okay. Congratulations. Congrats, Brandy. You did it. And I like that Brandy tells Andy, well, you, you fucked children before and he's like, hell, yeah, go, girl. I know, it was so, I know that's the same thing. I was like, oh, this is so, you know, beyond. And he's doing it for the same reason you do it to not feel old and disgusting, okay? Yeah. Jesus, get a job. Meanwhile, another thing that happened, they were talking about Brandy being a mean drunk. And Eileen stated her case very well, which was like, listen, all I can go off, you know, you may be fine elsewhere, but all I can go off is what I see from you. And when I see you, you're just like a mean drunk who's out of control. And Brandy's like, no, I don't agree. It's like, bitch, have you seen your footage? She's like, well, we all get drunk. And I mean, all of us drink. I mean, I don't even get drunk in my real life. I just get drunk because these women are so horrible. Yeah, I've seen you falling down in public more than twice. Yeah. Well, because first she's like, I have to drink to deal with his women. And then she changed it to, well, when everyone's having a drink, am I not allowed to have a drink? I'm like, that's not what you said originally. Originally said, you had to drink to deal with them. And you know, when you drink as a coping mechanism, you know what that might be? That might be a first sign of that. Oh, that's a strong word, Ben. Don't say that. Look, I've said it many times, and I'll say it again. You have the right to be an addict. We are in LA. You want to be a method. You want to be a drunk? Go for it. That's totally your choice. It only becomes a problem when you start a, stealing from people, b, victimizing people, or c, blaming everybody else for your fucking problems. That is your problem. Own it, snort it, fuck it, inject it. I don't care. Smoke it. The real, the real problem, but don't blame me for your fucking problem. That's your problem. The real underlying issue here, which is not really being said, which is that these, you know, she wants it both ways. She wants to party and everything. But she also wants to keep her kids, and she wants to be on TV. And so she knows that if she gets labeled as an alcoholic, she could probably lose her kids. And she doesn't want to do that yet. She doesn't want to stop being on TV. So rather than stop the drinking. The reason I drink from public and make an ass out of myself in public, because I'm sure you're all shocked that I would do that. I do it because I am low energy. I don't always feel like being around people and drinking makes me feel less awkward and more socially available. Like I talk more. I'm happier. It makes my dopamine levels raise. I mean, the same reason anybody drinks at parties because it makes us feel better. And I get it. I get that that's what she's doing. But she's not eating, obviously. And to call anybody else an anorexic with knees that are clanking together because there's no flesh there, please. But she's not eating. She's obviously got some issues there. And she's drinking a lot. And she makes a damn fool of herself. Right. And I'm sure, by the way, I'm sure the producers feed them all alcohol. They probably have it like they probably have like a hamster bottle full of vodka for all these women to get them to loosen up and be crazy. But why is Brandi shot a vodka up your bum? It'll make you drunk her. Right. But like, why is Brandi? Why is she so above and beyond? You know, like, why is she like, she's the one who's throwing the wine in people's face? And although, I mean, Lisa, when I did throw a glass, you know, but you know what I'm saying? I don't care. She threw it on the ground or the table or something. They're making it sound like she broke a bottle and tried to cut their throats with it. Give me a break. Brandi's wine toss came out of nowhere. And it was like totally socially tone death. Lisa's was in the context of a huge fight. Yeah, at least Lisa had a reason. Yeah, exactly. No. I can understand violence when there's a reason. But, you know, just like walking into a target and starting to stab people makes no sense. But killing, you know, killing your husband who cheated on you makes total sense. So how about the most passive aggressive segment of the hour, which was Lisa Rinna and Kim Richards talking about various gigs they have had in recent memory? Oh, my God. When Kim is sitting there judging Lisa Rinna for being desperate. Oh, gosh, this is and this is the same woman who Kim Richards, the same one who appeared at that crazy convention last year where someone gave her like an earring or something. Oh, God, where she got paid to sign autographs for like trailer. Oh, no. And then Kim is saying, Andy's like, "Would you do anything for a buck?" And he's like, "No." She's like, "I do anything for some good game." She literally said, "I have a little more pride than you, Lisa." And he goes, "You did diving with the stars." And she's like, "Ah, so then she tries to like laugh it up." And then Lisa amazingly goes and, you know, it's funny because I actually did turn down diving with the stars. Yeah, so I do turn down some things. And then she's like, "Oh, please, you were on the singing thing, the dancing thing." Well, dancing with the stars is actually a very highly rated show. Yeah, and it actually really the same thing. And it actually gave a huge boost to Lisa Rinna's career. Didn't she have a talk show after that or something like that? She had her to pinch it after that. I mean, Lisa Rinna does not need to apologize. Every one of these bitches are desperate. That's why they're on a reality show. Yeah, exactly. What the hell else do you do a housewife show because your career is going well? Oh, watch out. Julia Roberts is the next new housewife. No! Sandra Bullock ain't going to be a housewife. They have real careers, Kim. You have no pride, meth face. Get your drink some water, Kim. Yeah, no. I mean, the best part was they had. They were sort of like laughing their way through that segment, you know? The music was very veiled, like, attempt to make it seem like, "Ha ha ha, we're just like taking some humorous japs at each other." Everybody else could laugh through it. But Kim could not keep her. I mean, Kim... She tried to talk anecdote about running into Terrell Owens. Oh, yeah. Yeah, she's like, "But I'm now famous, people." Yeah. When Andy's like, "Madda Gasgar from Windy City Falls, Ireland wants to know why you're so damn skinny." And then the way that it's phrased is, "Honey, don't you need a sandwich?" I'm like, "First of all, fat ladies, stop calling everybody else anorexic." Because you know who calls people too skinny? Fat people, okay? There's no skinny person on earth who says, "Oh my God, you're too thin." It's called "Sticking to an Eating Plan," okay? And even if she is anorexic, it's called "dedication, you fat bitch. Stop writing people that they're so skinny." You know, if anybody calls you fat, it's like fat shaming, a body shaming. I'm so sick of that shit with fat people, like, "Oh, and I am a fat person, by the way." But I'm so sick of everybody being like, "Oh, you're so skinny. Eat a sandwich. How about you stop fucking eating sandwiches?" So you could stop writing bitter tweets to people that you don't even know. "Birtha from Masahuchi, trailer park, fat face. Stop it." And then Lisa goes into defensive mode and she's like, "Well, first of all, I wish you would have just said..." Because she said in the past, "I work out and I hardly eat, and that's why I'm thin. It's hard." Because that's an honest answer. But she's like, "Well, you know, my dad is dying of cancer or something, and he's in the hospital." And then they show Kim smiling like a jack-o-lantern. And nodding while Lisa's talking about her father dying, just waiting to make some fucking anorexic joke at her. Kim, just fucking, "If you're gonna stay..." I'm not gonna say what I was about to say, 'cause even I have limits. Darling. You and I can stop myself occasionally. Darling, do not make me that salmon mousse and tartar. I have limits, darling. Chef Penny. No. Throw that out in the planter. Too much. One truffle is a wonderful night. Five truffles, and I'm a pig. Darling. Darling, how many wine poached pears do you think I can eat? That's enough. Three is enough. Chef Penny, stop it. Oh, okay. Yeah, so that's enough of that. But really, really gross. Kim, Kim. Kim is actually the grossest one, I have to say, and Brandy was pretty gross at this reunion. Well, it's weird because I think Brandy is the grossest, but the thing with Kim is... The thing with her grossness is that you know that it's just been this awful thing that has been there for a few decades, and it is like it breathes off of acrimony with Kyle. And that sort of makes it really gross and disgusting. But then Brandy is just the worst. Well, it's kind of suck for Kim. You know, she becomes this huge movie star, and she's one of the biggest child stars in the country for years. And then her sister, who really actually had to do sitcom work, which back then was not fun like it is now. You know, now people, movie stars do TV, but back then it was like, ew, gross. You're on a teen show. But that a dead man. You know, Kyle's like making all the bills at that point. And it must kill Kim just to see Kyle find a semi-hot mouth-breathing husband who's like the number one real estate agent in the country who's... I mean, they have some really complicated issues, which I find fascinating, although, you know, it's sort of a shame that... They're not that complicated. Yeah, when is it? I mean, it's pretty simple. No, but it's... Everybody's issues are pretty much the same when you boil it down to Brandy. No, I think it's very... I think they've got complicated issues about, like, you know, pressures that were put on Kim to support a family, and then she... her rise to fame, and then her fall, and then Kyle is now more successful in Kyle's taking care of her, and Kim has got addiction, and there's a house, and the house has been sold, and the mother said this and that. It's like it's such... It's a crazy-tangled web, and that's been going on for decades. They just stop being bitches to each other. It would be a lot easier. They're just horrible to each other. And whether that comes from each other, or whether it comes from their upbringing, or somebody was mean to them on a set someplace, I don't know where it comes from, but the fact is they're in their fifties. Grow the fuck up and stop blaming everybody else for once. Right, yeah, exactly. Take some goddamn responsibility for your life. I mean, Kim crying about shit about when she was ten years old, bitch. Please, you're like a twenty-ten-year-old right now. Grow up! Twenty-ten-year-old. Get a job. Go to a Bible study. Do something. Go to a water aerobics class. Jesus. Get addicted to Runyon Canyon, darling. Yeah. Well, the only other thing I think we have to talk about, of course, is Yolanda. Yolanda was having the Lyme disease. It was just so hard for her to even concentrate and to think that this reunion is just so tired. And you know, I'm a good person, so I don't judge Brandy, because you know, sometimes the most difficult people are the best people to give your love to. How about no one else will film with you, because you're a raging harlot who was accusing some old man of abusing you last year and turning against people for no reason you fucking bitch on wheels. Who the hell are you suddenly, guys? You're not nice. I remember you from last year. You're still an evil cow, Yolanda, and your fake Lyme's disease is hilarious to me. And the fact that you go on your Bravo blog and compare to AIDS in the 80s, bitch, please, if only. Yeah. No, that's pretty bad comparing Lyme disease to AIDS. I don't hate Yolanda as much as you do. I hate her. She's such a funny thing. She has not. I'm so sick of her. And talking about selling your children, she's like, get naked in magazines. Oh, so classy. Look at you. You can support yourself. Your daughter's naked every time I see her. What mother wants that for her child. Yeah. Jesus Christ. Yeah. I mean, there are moments when I really like Yolanda. For instance, when she talks about how when Brandy made that day, about being suggesting that Bella might be an alcoholic, when no one was saying that at all. And Yolanda saying, I know she wanted to get a rise out of me. I know she wanted to divert the attention into an argument. And I didn't want to take it. I like that. But that was like a, it was rare for someone to realize Brandy's tactic and not fall for it. But then there are other times when she is like, oh, Bella, Bella. Just me. That's no Lyme disease. Jesus. No, she's not mature. Whoa, whoa. Something just, some ad just came on my computer. Hold on. Let me turn it off. Oh, God. One year ago, California. Shut up, Ad. Yeah. I don't believe her because, first of all, someone put in comments today, something I totally believe that Brandy has something on Yolanda. Because Yolanda is not saying anything back and she's standing up for Brandy. But we know that Yolanda makes mountains out of molehills because last year, it was how can abuse her when he barely touched her or how Lisa was just so awful to her. It never came to see her with a Lyme disease. And you know, Lisa could have been more giving. And then even at the beginning of this season, Yolanda was like, cheers to maybe Lisa coming to see me once when I'm sick or something. You know, like she could not drop it. She's still bringing up the same non, you know, non. What am I trying to say slight? Yolanda can't get over anything. There's some reason she's being nice to Brandy that we don't understand yet. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Brandy has a big enough mouth that we'll know at some point. I don't think there's a conspiracy theory. I guess here's the thing. I think that Yolanda can be annoying. But in terms of like inspiring like pure vitriol, that's what's served right now for Kim and Brandy. And I just can't put Yolanda in that same campaign. Yolanda gets my vitriol too, I think because I follow her and David on Instagram now because I once saw a funny lemon post and I was like, I'll follow them. And David just took a picture getting onto his private jet and he was like, another successful charity event building schools in Africa or whatever the fuck he's doing. And I'm like, you fuck, how out of touch are you? It's like they make me roll my bow, how wonderful your charity is from the steps of your private jet. Well, that's the thing. They make me roll my eyes. They make me roll my eyes here. You know, they make me roll my eyes. I think they're often insufferable, but I don't have like, deep hatred for them. I just, I just find them insufferable and almost entertaining in how insufferable they are. But at least he earned his money. Yolanda, no, I don't like her because she's just some rich bitch who married into it. She didn't earn that shit. And I have no respect for her acting in the way she does. Hey there. Get rid of her. Clear her. Clear her. Clear her out. Clear the touchy. Clear her. All right. Clear her. So why don't we move on to, we finish, I feel like something else happened on this. Hold on. Lisa, we got Lisa, Lisa, Kyle, I guess we got it all right. Yeah. Let's move on to Southern Charm. So Southern Charm, Southern Charm, Southern Charm. Southern Charm, y'all. Southern Charm. Let me get some of my Southern Charm notes. I wrote Southern Comfort. Yeah. I know. You know what you say that every now and then you call it Southern Comfort, but it's Southern Charm. I used to love that drink. I was like, why am I throwing up every time I get drunk? Because I was drinking Southern Comfort, it's like liquid, it's like candy, candy drinking. Oh, I really dislike Southern, I just don't like, it's because sort of tastes like peachy, right? I'm not peach, but it's very sweet. Yeah. It is. I don't like it at all. So let's see. So the big thing in this episode, T-Rav, Thomas Ravanell, decided to film some campaign commercials and he used Whitney, dear Whitney, to be his creative director, which is from the great minds behind Renob, come, a gay donor. Come Thomas Ravanell, the lead singer of Renob, comes the campaign commercial with a bunch of ladies with big asses and tight, short mini dresses, dancing around Thomas Ravanell, who looks like he's 60 years old, trying to raise the roof with sweaty armpits stands under his shirt. No. No. So here's the background on this, so T-Rav, well, Whitney really decides, we're gonna do something edgy, okay? We're gonna do something edgy, we're gonna shake it up, we're gonna do something viral, that's gonna get the attention of the nation. That's viral, like HIV. Yeah, like Lyme disease. Like a herpes virus. Yeah. So what is this commercial? It's basically like a long shot, way too long, of T-Rav at a party and he goes and starts dancing with women for like, I saw it like 15 seconds, like way too long and then he's like, raise the roof and then it cuts to him being serious being like, I may raise the roof but I won't raise your taxes, like Lindsey Graham did and it's like, what? I mean, this looked like a 1989 public access thing and this is Whitney's version of being edgy, there was nothing, first of all, there was nothing edgy about it, just 'cause there were girls in Bikini, there's trashy, it wasn't edgy and it was like, it was like not a proper way to like reference his past, it sort of made a punchline as if like, hey, we can all joke about this and it should have been more like, yeah, I've done this, I've done this, I've done this, but guess what? Like that doesn't matter right now because what matters is what I'm gonna do for you, you know? My... You should have had Watch For Crap, and produced this campaign for... Well, I mean, just, you know what, if you've been in jail for selling cocaine and you've been totally disgraced, the way to get your reputation back is probably not dancing with a bunch of horrors awkwardly. Right, yeah, for sure, acknowledge it, acknowledge it, but don't like, dancing with a bunch of girls is like, I mean, it looked like a weekend at Bernie's. Literally because he was like Bernie, they were like carrying this old dead thing around trying to make it look like it was still alive and there was very little life left in that guy. I mean, that guy's getting that sad thing that happens to all men as we age and it's happening to me, God bless me. But where everything stops growing except our nose and our ears, do you notice that with them? They're getting so big and it's like, oh no, you're morphing into old man, Ravenel right before our eyes. Now's the time to maybe put a little salt and pepper in your hair on purpose, maybe get some reading glasses, and I don't know, talk about lowering taxes and keeping your guns because that's basically all those fuckers want over there, okay? Yeah, I mean, like, if I think if Whitney wanted to be edgy about it, or wanted to approach this whole topic, what he should have done was he should have like put people on camera who ate Thomas Ravenel who say, well, no, he did cocaine, he did this, he did that, you know? He said, you know, and to show some pictures of him part and don't like recreate it, take some footage from the stupid show. And then, then have Thomas Ravenel be like, yes, I did all those things, but guess what? What matters the most is what I do in the office, I've got nothing to lose, all I want to do is protect the state, whatever, that's what he should have said, not made it look like a crazy eddies commercially, like he's gonna sell some like, you know, stereo speakers. Yeah, that was, that was not cute, that was cranking for him. And this is Whitney's big filmmaking prowess, this is what we've been hearing about, this is what Patricia sent him to school for, is to cut this awful, like shitty commercial, forget everything else, just the production values were just beyond awful. When he was saying, one of the quotes he had early on, he was like, you know, I feel for Catherine, she's, she stuck out in the middle of nowhere, I mean, she thought she was gonna have all this stuff and I haven't given her a home, I haven't given her a life, I haven't given her anything really, like smiling, like congratulations, you knocked up a child and then screwed her over. Yeah, wow. Catherine's basically slowly turning into the crazy lady in the attic and Jane Eyre, you know, yes, quickly, not even slowly, quickly, very quickly, there was a crazy lady in the attic, wasn't there? I don't know, she gave flowers in the attic, but same diff, like I'm picturing her all pasty in the attic, just wanting to fuck her brother to get out of this situation. Like wasn't there like Omen from like the Caribbean, who's like in the attic that Rock Chester had or something like that, and I don't know, but I think any story that takes place in an attic would work here. Let's just try to make this classy by grafting the story of Jane Eyre onto Southern Charm. It's too late. So that was Portia, but then later on in the episode, T-Rav is having dinner with Catherine, she's already had a rough episode, because she met with that other like blond chick and was like, "So..." Oh my God, that was like taking your aunt out for tea, I was so horrified at the stuff that she had to ask. She's like, "Did you know Thomas like me, you know, like make eyes?" Did you and Thomas ever have anything going on with that dinner? Oh, it was your heart, like, you know, he's flirty, like we did sort of like, you know, I mean, it was like, you know, it's like Thomas, you know, he's like a flirt, so like, you know, but plus your heart, it's like cool. I mean, before you, before you, of course, yeah, of course, of course, sweetie darling. Like, well, but did you guys ever talk, did you guys, did he ever kiss you on your neck? Did he ever take you out to dinner, because he never takes me out? It's like, listen, your husband is 90, he's done everything, he's fucked midgets, he's gotten blow jobs at truck stops, he's gotten fingers up his butt while he's taken blow jobs. He has done everything, okay, you're marrying a 90 year old. If you don't want somebody who's done anything, don't marry an old person, you can't be jealous of somebody who's passed when they've got that long of a pass. Yeah, exactly. She is really, she is definitely- She's an idiot. I mean, shocker, it's not, it's not a shocker that she's an idiot, but what an idiot. She traps some pigs, she knows he's a pig, she's fucked the entire group of people, first of all. Yeah. Then she's trying to like, trap the one that she thinks is gonna have the most money. Then she finally traps him, it doesn't get what she wants, and she's gonna act all jealous. I'm sorry to keep saying this to people on Bravo's shows, but get a job. Many people do things, learn something, get the hell on with your life, woman, what's wrong with you? I know. Have some pride. I know. Yeah, she gets so mad at Thomas about that commercial later on, and she's like, "Isn't my friends, like that's like, that's disgust me, those are my regents with my friends?" Well one thing I think she did have a really good point with was he doesn't want to take her on the campaign trail because he'd marry a 20 year old and it's gross, but he has no problem like being seen as fucking 20 year olds on his campaign ad. The best one, he's like, "Well, you know, he's like, "Well, you know, I can't have you in the commercial. We don't have the budget for a big family picture." He's like, "You don't have the budget?" Well, we just don't have the budget for it. We spent all 25 dollars on the commercial. Yep. The best that was pretty, that's pretty sad to watch because he's a gross person and she's a gross person too, but listen, who wasn't a gross person when they were 20? Like I was a gross person, I mean, I guess that's still kind of am, but I was much gross person then, then I am now and we all deserve that moment in our, we all deserve that age where we can just make mistakes and be gross. Yeah, but I forgot I was going to say about Catherine and people being slutty and all that stuff. The point is, the point is she is ridiculous, he is ridiculous. I love that he, I love that he said that there was even a budget concern. Oh, I remember I was going to say Patricia, I love how during the commercial, when there was she in the commercial, Patricia just saunters by with like a little, little stroller with a dog in it. She's like, "Oh, what's going on in here? Oh, Thomas, this is a little wrinkled, oh well, all right, well, good luck with your commercial." Patricia, the most judgmental one, whose son is the most disgusting thing on the show? Oh, rats lady, nice work. And by the way, for all you literary people out there, I can confirm that there was a crazy woman in the attic of Jane Eyre. It was Bertha Antoinetta Mason, the violently insane first wife of Edward Rockchester, moved to Thornfield and locked in the attic and eventually commit suicide after setting fire to Thornfield Hall. So, I mean, basically, Catherine, that's the future. Basically, she routes Bertha Antoinetta, something that sounds like one of the people who calls in to ask questions on the reunion shows. Yeah. Yeah. And Bertha Antoinetta Hall, called from Miss O'Watchy Springs Falls. Yeah. A strong Huguenot name. So what else? So Whitney also moved in with Shep at the Beach House? That was funny. Shep doesn't know what to do. Yeah. And he describes Whitney as being, like, liking darkness and hanging upside down in cloth. It's like most for Rottu. Well, I love that Whitney is, like, wearing this, like, cool, like leather jacket and some chains and everything. I'm like, you're 48 years old, please, please stop doing this. So it's so embarrassing. He's like, hey, brah, I bought a clean duvet because that's what bras worry about. Yeah, I know. Whether or not their rental duvet is clean. Yeah. It's from the Renov collection at Kmart. I want to make sure I'm not rubbing my Renov up looking at some dirty duvet. What he should be doing is he should be wearing one of those outfits that got Cooper designs. Cooper is the resident gay man of Charleston. Oh, my God. Cooper, who's apparently going to wear that golden girl's pink jacket everywhere he goes. Yeah. He's a designer, and yet he wears a blazer that sees eyes is too big for him. Are we just unsure of who's gay in this town? Like, do we need to be wearing pink jackets wherever we go? Yeah. Really? Like, is that some kind of signal? Wearing and earring in your left ear, just so people will know who they're allowed to flirt with. Cooper, please pull it together for the rest of America's gaze. Cooper was the one who attended the second christening with, um, yeah. Yeah. And that exact same Jack. Same jacket. Yeah. And he's going to have Craig be one of his, he's like, Oh, chef, Craig, you have to walk in my runway. No, he did not. He's a chef. Craig, you, I have to walk on my runway. Girl, please. You sound like a Jack game impression. Yeah. And then Craig, he's like, wow, I have to choose between being a liar, being pretty odd. She's being pretty. Like, well, is that really an option? I love when he's like, I love wearing Cooper's clothes because I just look so pretty. And then they show it and he's wearing like an outfit from the Nutcracker. And so, he's like in the Playmabile collection, it's like, is the Playmabile construction worker? He designed it really like when he said, I had an awkward time in high school. I went through an awkward phase and they show him like, he did look awkward, but still hot. I mean, is that the awkward phase because really bravo is the only place where I tune in to send rich white people talking about how they were bullied. He did, he did look like he was a former cast member of two days. Remember that show? No, what's that? It was a show in MTV that followed like Alabama Teenage, like a football squad in Alabama. It was like, it was like 2005 and they all had like those crazy bangs that came down to their eyebrows. Yeah, he did look like that. Yeah. Yeah, poor Craig, he's on the path of destruction. Oh, I also think it must be so hard to be gorgeous, young, white, and America with the law. A law degree. I know. And then you have land in the new girl. She's so sweet, but she does nothing. She's so sweet. She has a weird voice where she kind of talks like that. I need to get my divorce papers filed. She spent the entire time giggling until then she starts talking about her divorce and she gets sad. And then I feel bad for her because now she's just like a lady living in a boat. Yeah, I'm not really sure about her. I like her. I'm just not really sure what she's doing yet. She's like a brunette Martha Stewart. She's cute. That is not Martha Stewart would not be living on a boat like that. No, no. She might start, you know, staining the wood and changing the carpets. She's kind of, she seems like kind of a girl. I have stuck in a bad marriage. Yeah, I hope that we get to see her mom. It sounds like her mom's a real piece of work. Oh, yeah, she's tortured. Those girls. Yeah, certainly. Wait. Well, obviously Southern mom, y'all know why? Yeah. And because one of those girls did not consent to being shown on camera because she had a face blurred out and all the family photos lower, so that I can't be seen on reality television. Yeah, latte. My children go to private school. I also thought we were going to get to finally meet Cameron's husband because he like called up on the phone. We heard his voice and he was going to come in for dinner, but no, he clearly wants to do it. Nothing. Yeah. And you know that she won't let him too. You know the part of her. It's like, no, you just stay at home, honey. You're not doing the show. I'll put on my cookie, cookie mama instead with her bag of trinkets because you know the minute he goes on there, people are going to start going on his Instagram like you're hot. She knows how this shit works. She's a real world cast member. It's like, you better stay at home, honey. You even show up on the show. You're divorced. I also like to Whitney's partner yelling at him for not taking part in the restaurant. What's it called again? General. General Lee Simo. Oh gosh. Oh gosh. None of that's going to work. No. If the restaurant is anything like the campaign commercial, it's going to be like tacos with half a shell. I have to say, I'm impressed that Whitney can play the guitar. And sing songs about the 7th Veil Strip Club. Yeah, and about a stripper giving him a hand job. That was nice. That was classy. Yeah, good for you. Singing songs about strippers at 47. Yeah, I think that ends this show. I really like it. I just don't really know what to talk about sometimes with this show because it's funny, but it's kind of sad too. Well, it's like a different type of show because what happens is half the cast are jackasses. Any other half are like normal people who just laugh at the jackasses. So like when Whitney makes this commercial, unlike when like also does diamond water and was like, oh, cool. I love your diamond water. Like when Whitney does a commercial, half the cast is like, this'll just be pure comedy. This'll just be terrible. Look, what's he doing by a commercial is his master, you know, and it's like, I can't argue with him. Some of my favorite stuff on this, this show is happening on Facebook. The best stuff is the meltdown of Thomas and Catherine's marriage that's happening on Facebook. Yeah. And if people have not been following this, you need to be following better people on Twitter, probably. But have you read any of this, Ben? I read the thing where Catherine said that the reason why they broke up is because Thomas slept with her best friend. Yeah, I'm trying to see. Yeah, Catherine's like, well, he slept with my best friend while I was pregnant, which is something else that she hinted at this week, where she was like he was seeing her while I was pregnant, by the way. So she's always ready to go after him. But did, did I read these texts last week? I don't think so. Thomas put on on, I think this is Facebook, while I know it hurts, it's finally healthy progress to know the truth. The joke of it is that she said she was going to propose to me today, I'm great in business, but my personal life sucks. What an idiot I am. Not only that, but she's telling everyone that physically assault her, which is not only hurtful, but blatantly false. My lawyer is right. When I see her, I should run. Right now, I don't know how it could be worse unless we lost our health. How did I let such an old person thing to say? At least we got our hell. How did I let her take my heart? It was cold on a perch. Now it's completely vanished with not even an attempt for explanation. First of all, grammar. I mean, I get that you type this on your iPhone, but I mean, come on. Seriously? Seriously. Seriously? Seriously? No, no, no, no, no. And then I don't know who this is. I miss Tanner. That's so bad, but I do. I don't give a shit if Thomas and I work out after feeling the way I did with tan tan. And then someone wrote stop texting that, just get here. And she wrote, we'll do baby. We're saying bye. We're here. What the hell? And then Catherine wrote, this is completely ridiculous. None of you know a thing about this post. Delete this post, please. It's inappropriate and misconstrued. And then Thomas wrote, while it truly hurts, at least I know the truth from Catherine Dennis. I don't know. These people are crazy. And it's so bad because no one really knows English anymore. So it's like trying to decipher what everybody really means from their bad grammar. Yeah. Yeah. Like I think there is like abuse in here somewhere and breakups, but I'm loving it. We just need more Patricia, less Whitney, and I'll be fine. I'll be happy. I need Cameron and Patricia just judging everybody to make that a thing. What you need to have is you have half the episode, people doing shitty things, and the other half is Patricia and Cameron making fun of them for it. And then you're set. We need like a top chef spin off for butlers and Patricia can just like be the judge of all the butlers. And they would have to go through butler challenges, like making martinis and like cleaning poop specs off the toilet seats and stuff. Yeah. I would love that. She said about Thomas. I mean, she's like, now I would think I don't think that have a cocaine use and getting a baby out of wedlock is going to be going to help you take down Lindsey Graham, but you know, no one's perfect and it's just laughs. So perfect. It is. No, Patricia, you're perfect. You are perfect. She's an awful human being, but damn it, she's funny and she's got a white feather boa. So she's just. She's amazing. I wonder how old she is. She looks. She looks great. Well preserved. Well preserved. All right. Well, I think it's clear. Wrap it up. Clear the podcast. Clear the podcast. Chef Penny is coming through with the gato. Clear. Listen space. It's time for Chef Penny. I am Kristin and I approve this message. Kristin. Kristin. Oh, Kristin. Oh, Kristin, this is so ridiculous, Kristin. Seriously. Lindsey Graham's going to raise taxes seriously, but not me. Seriously. I approve this message. Seriously. Seriously. Raise the roof. Okay, everyone. You can find us on Facebook.com/WatchForCrapins. If you want, if you listen to this podcast, you enjoyed it and you want to talk with other people about it, things you liked about, or just other shows, that's where you go. Or WatchForCrapins.com to find our other social media. And of course, you can support us at patreon.com and get access to things like bonus episodes and ringers and hangouts and our bonus episode this week again is about all the new Bravo shows coming your way and some shade about Chantal from Gallery Girls. So I hope you enjoy it. I know we enjoyed recording it as we enjoyed recording this episode. And looking forward to seeing everyone next week, although the episode actually won't be up next week until Wednesday because I'll be on a plane on Tuesday. So that is that. So yeah, that's that y'all. Thanks everyone for listening and we approve this message. Bye. Kristin. Seriously. If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the internet. The folks behind the side show network have launched a new YouTube channel called Wait for It. It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza Schlesinger, Slicing Driving Friends with it for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there and I still have a hard time with the last name Liza. Our very own Owen Benjamin, that's me, takes you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes and much more. You don't have to wait any longer. Just go to youtube.com/waitforcomedy, there's no need to wait for it anymore. Because it's here and it's funny and I love you. To the insurance company that's spurned me, our time together has come to an end. It's not me, it's you. We both know what I'm talking about. Fifteen minutes ago, I began courting Geico. It was just the easiest thing I've done since buttering my biscuit at breakfast. Not only have I saved hundreds of dollars on my car insurance, but also the future tears you were sure to impose. My heart and my coverage now belong to Geico. Sincerely, not yours, Tara, in Telluride. Geico. Fifteen minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance. [BLANK_AUDIO] [BLANK_AUDIO] [BLANK_AUDIO] [BLANK_AUDIO] If you like Watch what Crapins, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at Wondery.com/survey. 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