- Reconnecting with people in your life is so important and sending a holiday card is a meaningful way to do that, but it can be hard to know where to start. Shutterfly makes it so easy to share a custom card that's perfectly you. - Shutterfly has a style for everyone. Find a card that reflects your vibe. - No professional photos, no worries. Shutterfly multi-photo designs are great for candid photos, travel photos, or even school photos. I love the Shutterfly card feature because I'm so lazy about going to a store and getting a card for people. And so this way I can just be on my phone. I can take a photo, I can upload it to Shutterfly, I can make the card right there, and send it off without having to leave my home or wherever I am. - I've been making really funny ones. I mean, I'm the new Maxine. Find the perfect holiday card for you at Shutterfly.com and start customizing today. - Enjoy 40% off your Shutterfly order with promo code Crap and Sporty and send something meaningful this year. Get free shipping on qualified orders. See site for more details. Unlock your imagination with Audible when you listen to audio content in your mind is free to paint the scenes and feel the emotions of a great story. Plus, a great narrator can really take things to the next level. There's more to imagine when you listen. - Audible's extensive catalog is sure to have titles you'll enjoy, immerse yourself in captivating tales, learn from world-renowned experts and discover new perspectives, all while multitasking or relaxing. Right now, I'm listening to our friend Alaina Earkhartz, the butcher game. It's a sequel, it's fantastic, it's a serial killer cat mouse. I absolutely love her, I love what she's done and it's really cool and very beautifully told on the Audible version. - And as an Audible member, you choose one title a month to keep from their entire catalog. - New members can try Audible free for 30 days. Visit audible.com/crapins or text crapins to 500 500. That's audible.com/crapins or text crapins to 500 500. (upbeat music) ♪ Watch what crapins ♪ ♪ Who cares what happens when there's so much that crapins ♪ ♪ Crapins ♪ ♪ Crapins ♪ ♪ Crap ♪ ♪ Crap ♪ ♪ Crap ♪ ♪ Crapins ♪ ♪ Watch what crapins ♪ ♪ Watch what crapins ♪ ♪ Who cares what happens when there's so much that rapins ♪ ♪ Who cares what crapins ♪ ♪ Who cares what happens when there's so much that rapins ♪ ♪ Crapins ♪ - Hey everyone, welcome to Watch what Crapins a podcast about all that crap on Broadway. All that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I almost had broadcast, which is the whole different podcast. I'm Ben Mandelker from B side blog.com and the banter blender and joining me as always is the wonderful and lovely Ronnie Karam. Hey Ronnie. - How are they Ben? - Hello, so everyone, I hope you're all excited because we have this wonderful news, which is that we just recorded 15 minutes of this podcast and then my computer crashed and we lost it all and it's too bad. So if we sound a little sad, that's why. 'Cause we had, we did a whole stuff. - Wouldn't you have open on your goddamn computer? - It wasn't a fucking, you were playing Candy Crush or some shit where you're reading. - Actually, I'll tell you what I had open. - Okay, Q put her some shit on there. - It wasn't anything I had in my computer. It was my blue microphone. The cable moved and then, well, basically, I picked up my phone. - Crying out loud, get a bar clay card already. - I am going to because when the cable moves, it crashed the computer and when it crashed the computer, everything that were recorded got corrupted. So everyone, I'm so sorry. There was a great little chef penny thing that we did and well, you know, maybe we'll try to recreate it later but it's gotta come organically. - No, yeah, it's dead. - It's dead, it's dead. But what we can recreate though. - Chef penny wasn't even around in the time organic became popular telling, all right. Chef penny's old squirty sauces designs on plates. - Chef penny, you cannot leave your purse. When you leave your purse, you corrupt all the footage, Chef penny. - Organic is not sexy, Chef penny. All right, so I'm gonna get this part of it really quick. Go to patreon.com/watchupcraft and support us and get bonus materials like extra content and ringers and Google Hangout parties and our bonus episode that's every week. Go to our Facebook page, Facebook.com/watchupcraft and talk to other listeners. Make us laugh and talk about shows as they air every week. Also come to our watchupcraftons.com. If you wanna know our social media links like our Twitters and Facebooks, et cetera, thanks. - Yeah, and also something about the Watch For Crapins page. I am going to rehash this. First of all, we have to give a big shout out to Kelly Ann Lee Redinger or Redinger, but I think it's Redinger. Redinger who made a Watch For Crapins bingo board, which is amazing. If you don't like the Facebook page, well, you should like it, come over and look at it. It's like this great grid of things like, if you're playing bingo along with a podcast anytime somebody goes, that's a version! Or chef panty darling or MJ gets a delivery, which has also happened during the loss footage of episode 173 point, whatever this is. So that is amazing. Thank you so much for making that. And the other thing that we talked about, that I am going to mention again, is that I went on to our iTunes page and someone left a comment, this was Love Line fan, who said, I wish you guys would stick more to the actual content of the show, rather than the random rambling tangents that have absolutely no purpose other than entertaining yourselves. Example, January 28th show with a good half hour of hypothetical chef panty conversations with Lisa Vanderpump. So boring, not funny. So here's the thing, what I just want. - Listen, let me just explain something, all right. We do this to entertain ourselves. We just happen to start recording it because we figured maybe our moms will listen to it occasionally. We're so lucky that anybody actually listens to this shit, but we are doing this to entertain ourselves. So fuck off Love Line fan, and you know what else? Love Line is all about how to deal with herpes for the rest of your life, okay? Get a goddamn life, go to a bar and meet somebody, stop listening to Dr. Drew, get herpes advice, all right, stupid bitch. - Yeah, so the thing is this, I bring this up not to troll Love Line fan necessarily, although I welcome it. - Too late, too late, I did it. - It's more because, you did it to me in the trolling Love Line fan. - Yes, no, the reason why was because when I posted on the page, I said, because Love Line fan made an example of how much he or she hated the hypothetical chef panty conversations. So I posted and I said, "Looks like chef panty "has been commenting on our iTunes page." And I just wanna clarify, I don't think it's actually chef panty. So I was making a joke 'cause it points out chef panty. So if you-- - The panty's personal Facebook page has been filled with-- - Fuck off, you leave Ben and Ronnie alone, you dumb bitch. - So if you're feeling like trolling chef panty because she left a bad iTunes review for us, you don't have to do that. We think she had-- - We love chef panty. - We actually do love chef panty. - I actually watched chef panty on her season of the Food Network star, and she was so hilariously awkward because her whole thing was about sex food, like making food sexy, like trying to make a peanut butter sandwich look like a gash or whatever. So you guys respect somebody like that. Bold, bold. - Do you remember-- - If you can make a jiada that uncomfortable every week, I commend you woman. - Do you remember the episode when she had to be like extra sexy and she had like a rose as a prop and she was sort of like standing with her back to the camera and she turned her head around and she's like, "Oh hello, I'm chef panty." And this is some sexy food with pomegranate seeds. - Yeah. - It was like the most awkward-- - Pomegranate seed sexy. - I know, they look like little red deer poop. - They look like little-- - They taste delicious. - They look like little period scabs. (laughing) - Little ovulations. - Yeah, that is not sexy. Little red dots dropping all over and popping in your mouth. It's not sexy chef panty. - Chef panty, please, please. Do not create a pomegranate menopause plate. (laughing) - I wish you guys heard-- - The last hurrah, that dish was called the last hurrah right before menopause. - I wish you guys had heard the original version of this conversation. It was much less disgusting. - It was like chef panty. - The more desperate we get, the more disgusting we get. You see? Now we're desperate. Reuse. - The first version of this, when we talked about chef panty, we're like, "Chef panty, make some tuna tata." This time we're like, "Hey chef panty, make an ovulation out of pomegranate seeds." - Chef panty, put it in the planter and stick your face in it and throw it up. Chef panty. - We went from some nice, innocent conversation to periods. - We're like, "Floss off my chef panty." (laughing) - Darling, chef panty is cutting edge of culinary food. Salmon moose that comes out of a planter shaped like a vajean. - Ew, we're-- - Sorry, everyone. Also, by the way-- - I wonder if chef panty gets to come onto the reunion. - I hope she gets to cater it. (laughing) - Darling, you hear some crackers. I love how now I'm giving her the Lisa Vanderpump voice. Darling, I've been told that I could only speak like Lisa Vanderpump if I want to continue looking-- - No, chef panty's not. She has more of a like, I'm sexy. - No, she's not, you're making her Adrian Malufy. She's got that mother. She sort of sounds like this. She sort of sounds like this. Oh, like the ticket, the ticket's not working, the system's down. Chef panty, push out those plates. It's opening night, soft opening. - All of the Lebanese ants rolled into one. The lesbian, the short one, the nice one. They're all rolled into one. - She looks like actually this, a Persian girl that I went to college with named Naz. - Grape leaves. - Benaz is much pretty. - Yeah. (laughing) - So anyway, moving on from chef panty. - The point wasn't that you can't leave a shitty reviews because shitty reviews are just as fun to read as good reviews. It's just, we just wanted to say don't attack chef panty 'cause she didn't really write that review. - Yeah, that's all. - And also, I will attack love line fans, attack them. - I will never, by the way, I will never move on from chef panty. I may stop talking about her, but I will never move on. - No, I won't either. - Yeah. - Oh, panty, you know. - As long as Lisa is still serving dishes, sexy dishes from the 80s, chef panty will live on. - We actually, we should go to a pump and get some food. You know, Jezebel recently did a culinary tour of Lisa Vanderpump's restaurants. - I think we talked about that last week. - They panned it, but I would like to, panty, they panned it. - They panned it. - Which means it's too fatty for the amount that you're getting, darling. - They have a divine addiction to chef panty's food. Crab cakes for everyone. - Gay husband's all around. All right, get this fatty piece of meat and gay husband to help you sell your sangria, darling. - Chef panty, we need an son-a-log, a table 33, stat. - Darling, peanut logs for dessert. - Darling, molten chocolate cakes everywhere. Every table gets one. Soft opening. (laughing) - Squeeze it, and it uses sexy tolling. - Chocolate truffles, stat. Okay, I don't even know. Our chef panty rants don't even make any sense. It's just like, oh, I figured out what I was trying to say before the tiny, tiny, tiny weeners in a can, darling. Put a toothpick in them, they're not hot dogs anymore. They're Vienna sausages. All right, darling, let's make it classic. Class up the hot dog. - What do we call them? What do you're trying to go down, tiny sausages in a can? We call them something else in the lost footage. Oh, I don't remember. Anyway, so today we-- - Okay, so I think we're actually past the lost footage part. All we got to is the first scene of "Real Housewives" in Melbourne, just with her gigantic nostril, trying to pretend she's innocent with Gina, who's like about to put her on the electric chair. - We are actually doing it, we are at a fast race. Wait, just before one second, right, before we start with Melbourne, I just want to let everyone know this is the first week that we're going to two episodes a week. So for this episode, we're going to talk about Real Housewives of Melbourne and Atlanta, and Blood Swan Heels. And on later this week, you're going to get Shahs, and you get Southern Charm, and you're going to get Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. So on that note, Melbourne, now. - Melbourne, darling. - So actually I got some gossip. This was also from the lost footage. Then this is also for your little Watcher Crapins bingo board, which is that I was Ubering an Australian, and the Australian said that Lamaskara is a big deal in Melbourne, and that Jackie's actually a pretty big personality out there. - I don't understand what she would be doing to be a big personality, but I guess maybe just like a housewives thing? - Yeah, probably, probably something like that. You know, she's married. - Probably just going all over the place, pronouncing her own brand wrong. It's Lamaskara, Lamaskara, Lamaskara. - Listen. - Lamaskara. - She's married to Silver Chair, that's royalty in Australia. I'm rich, and I'm gorgeous, and I'm married to Silver Chair. - Oh, I'm getting a psychic vibe. You can get on a plane, a trainer, an automobile. One of those got to come true very soon. Oh, I'm about to get into a car. Oh, there it is. The Angels. The Angels are never lie about what sort of transportation you take. - I've got my Angels telling me that someone's going to try and use Janet's head as a bowling ball, but only get one finger in before giving up. - Janet's nose. - Janet's nose. - Namaskara looks like a cave open. It looks like there was a regular cave, but then Jesus rose from one cave and stretched it out just so you can get out of there, and then rose to heaven. What's happening with her nostril? - She gave birth to a nostril. - She gave the biggest booger of her life, darling. - Did too much cocaine. Oh, no, but she doesn't do cocaine. She does heroin and sells a body for it. So-- - Most notable. - Yeah, Janet. Well, one thing that we also talked about was that how Janet, she has, you know, she's pretty. And, you know, for someone her age who's had as much plastic surgery as she's had, I think she looks pretty good. Like her face could be much more demented than it is. - Well, when they said she was 53, I almost spit up my coat. - That is why. - I mean, that girl, if she's 53, she looks horrible. If she's 73, she looks amazing. - Yeah, she's clearly 73. - So it just depends on where the truth lies. - I would love to see pictures of her when she was in her 20s or 30s, 'cause you know she was probably a knockout. - Yeah, I'm sure she was gorgeous. Thin and gorgeous, darling. Blonde, thin and gorgeous white woman. You've got everything. - Circular nostrils and all. No triangles. - But I'm reading. I read these recaps to keep up on my notes because I don't write notes for every single scene, but some of these lines. One is a barrister and the other is a piece of driftwood that magically came to life one day on the shores of Melbourne. And that's pretty accurate. It's a pretty accurate Janet. - Yeah, that's very accurate. - It looks like a one-faced totem pole. - Oh. - That nose. - Wow. - With that nostril, though. Those totem poles always have those gigantic nostrils. - I grew up near an Indian reservation. - One-faced totem pole. It's like someone just gave up. They're like, "Oh, we've carved something grotesque. "We have to stop the totem pole." - I like I'm still doing it on parts. Just piled on top of each other like that. - Chef Penny, what are you doing with that totem pole? Get back into the kitchen. This is awful. - It's an awful totem pole. - Get that nostril and get back here to toothpick up. These Vienna sausages, darling. Got a very sexy party coming up. Mango and Derek are getting married today, all right? - Get some beats out of the goat cheese, Chef Penny. Get in there right now. - All right, we can't-- - We're canceling the beats. We're canceling the beat too much like bleeding, darling. I want anything that looks like small penises, all right? Sexy small penises on the menu. - Chef Penny, okay. I appreciate all your help on the next bar. That's going to be totem pole theme. But enough, we need to put more planters in the restaurant. You need to get back in the Tuna Tartar Station. - There is planters. - Chef Penny, don't leave your post, but there's a crane bringing a planter into the restaurant. Those planters are like little swimming pools. - Chef Penny, okay. We have made a planter out of a totem pole, okay? So please, just get out of the way. It needs to be loaded in. Get back to the Tuna Tartar Station. - We're putting a pine tree in Janet's nostril, darling. All right? Let's get in there and start working on those phallic desserts. Chef Penny, why haven't we seen any salmon moose? You know we need to fill up the entire planter with salmon moose. For opening day at totem. - Yeah, and moose. - Totem is, though. - Pump is where you take your boyfriend, sir, is where you take your mistress, and totem is where you take your immigrant friend. (laughing) - The totem is where you take your friend who has kicked out of his own country and been disrespected on a casino for the rest of his life. (laughing) - We've hired Cedric to be the host. - We've found that Cedric was a Native American darling. He's re-hired, but he's not allowed to leave the reservation or get arrested. - Ooh, and our chief waitress had sex with Brandi's boyfriend, J.R. (laughing) - Tell him, it's all the rage. - All right. So Real Housewives of Melbourne opens with Janet and Gina sitting down to lunch, and Janet thinks it's gonna be this fun, nice conversation. And Gina's like, listen, you're up for the death penalty for what you said to gamble. She's my friend. I didn't appreciate that. You're gonna go to jail now. You're gonna go to prison, where you're gonna be raped by penises, and then electrocuted to death. What do you think of that, you terrible person? - Janet's like, I was a rumor. I was sharing it with her. - Yeah, well, she's my friend now. So now you're gonna go to jail. You're gonna get raped by a big large woman named Martin Charge darling. - I hope you enjoy that horrible human being. - Well, I've also come out of a face when you ask for directions. (laughing) She's a truck driver. - Ugh. - Don't ask it to go to the Alamo. - Gina was awesome in this episode because I love when Gina just goes to town and stays really calm and just tells somebody off. - Yeah, just destroys them. I mean, I would love to see her in court, 'cause that's what she eviscerated Janet, and I'm on Janet's side, but I still think that she eviscerated her, and it was great to watch. - Yeah, I did too. 'Cause this has nothing to do with that other person. Like, everybody in Melbourne. - As no one cares about gamble, Gina just has a chance to yell at Janet again, and she's taking it. - Yeah, exactly. - Listen here, you box troll. (laughing) I'm gonna grab that nostril and put your tent net and cap there for a week with my friends, and then sue you for your fire ordinance. All right, you horrible person. (laughing) - She doesn't give it a crap. She's just gonna take her down no matter what. No matter what. - Yeah. - Yeah, I was like, "I don't appreciate the rumors. (laughing) I don't wanna appreciate them at all. I'm gonna go eat some Parmesan cheese and then appreciate the Parmesan cheese." - Well, I feel like spotting them out to me made nonsense, come here. (laughing) - I like how you had shades of sheenah to your gamble. - I'm also German people. - Yeah. (laughing) - Little Thomas Kramer. - Sit down, shut up, and appreciate the rumors. - I'm Jessica Ling from Freak Show. (laughing) - Oh my flaky fleeks. - Yeah, so that was pretty funny. Janet actually ran out of that restaurant terrified, and then she turned around and tried to use Gina's stupid line. Gina's like, "All right then, hit something crossing the street." - I'm like, "Oh yeah, my deck of cards, darling. My deck of cards are gonna fall." - And then there's gonna be cards on the floor. Give me a break. (laughing) - I actually love that moment. I love that moment. She's like, "Dek of cards, my deck of cards." (laughing) - I know Gina does it. She just goes, "Terrible person." - Terrible person. - She's like wiping her mouth like, "Terrible person." - The recap says, "Way to leave an impression that's this lasting and original is this ratchet ass tattoo, Janet." - Oh, I know. - Janet's shoulder tattoo, which looks like the Hannibal cover. It's like a snake. - Yeah. - But like, it's like a doctor's. What is that? - I would like the- - It's a doctor's symbol, but it's a snake. - You know that Janet, like 20 years ago, used to hanging out with P.E.G. Gumbelson, because that is a tattoo that you only get at Lake Havasu or Andalais. - Yeah, like the car wash at Lake Havasu. - Just say, "Everybody gets tattoos at Lake Havasu." (laughing) - Oh, Janet. - Yeah, Janet ratchet is a good way to describe her. But yeah, I want Gina on my side in any kind of fight. - Yeah. - 'Cause she doesn't give the shit what it is. She'll win. - I love Gina. I love Gina. We should try to get Gina on the show. I mean, anytime we tweet at her, she favorites our tweets. So we should- - Well, I mean, I think she does that to everyone, no offense. I mean, not to burst your bubble, but I think if anything- - You burst it. - Like, Gina's great. Everyone's like, "Exo tweet." Gina's like, "Re-tweet, retweet, retweet, retweet." - Yeah, but don't take that away from me. (laughing) Sorry to the ticket away. It's- - No, thanks, love line fan. - It's me. I'm like, did you hear how Ben was talking about chocolate lava cake? Fuck that guy. - Quick, Chef Penny, Chef Penny, Ben's feeling sad. Make him a cupcake. A new fancy cookie. - Oh, by the way, people asking us to bring back Matt. We love Matt, we did not fire Matt, and we've asked him to come back like 20 times. And he's like, "I'm busy." - He's busy because he's thin now, right? He's got a dance card. Tweet him and tell him to eat more. So he can get bad and bitter again and come back for a while. - He looks great. - He does look great. Oh my God, talk about maintenance. I still follow him on the life on the M-list. - Yeah, of course, me too. - He looks hot. - He looks nice, he looks great. Good for you, Matt. - I'm gonna slap him in his face with my penis, and sometimes I do, on the picture. - Matt, we say good for you, and if you're not listening, I know one of y'all is listening, and I mean, we could just text him, but it sounds nicer if someone says hi. - Yeah, we love you, Matt. - So, hey Zeus, hey Zeus, I know you're out there. You can tell Matt. - We love him. What was I gonna say? - I never forget. - Speaking of love fast, then we can go to Cheeker. Cheeker and her husband. What's her husband's name again? - Oh God, Cheeker and a hag fag. - I don't know, Nathan Lane. He's like, oh Cheeker, you've been a bad girl. You've been shopping again? She's like, oh no, I haven't been. And she's like, don't tell him I've been shopping a little bit. And he's like, well, I gotta go to Qatar. I've spoken to Qatar, so you gotta go. She's like, oh, I just spoke with Jackie. She said, you're getting on a plane. Oh my God, isn't that great? You look great in that outfit. - Everywhere they go sounds like a Star Wars town. - I know. - Guitar. - It's a rack. - It's a rack. (laughing) - Lots of the walking on that bar set with all the alien. - Well, that's probably what that bar is normally. Like, remember when they had dinner, and they're like, we ran, it's not the ball for the night. Like, normally there's a guy, like a blue elephant guy playing like an organ. - Yeah, that's who I remember to, the elephant guy. - He's like, do, do, do. - And B Arthur. - He's like three like snouts on his head. - And B Arthur comes out. You ever see that video from the 1978 when B Arthur appeared in the Star Wars special? - No. - It's like, B Arthur in the Star Wars canteen. And like, she is like singing a cabaret song with the blue elephant dude. It's the craziest thing. You have to see it. - Yeah, Arthur's cabaret is weird shit. I bought her last album when she went on like this one woman tour. She had a Broadway thing and then one on tour. And she has like a whole five minute song about how to cook a lamb chop. - I love that good for her. - I mean, that's seriously all it is. She's like, and then you marinate it. Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't. Put it in the refrigerator, don't, don't, don't, don't. Give it an hour, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't. Put it in the oven, put it in the oven. Put it in the oven, put it in the oven. And then like hundreds of gay guys are like, yeah, girl, you go, girl. - Ronnie, Ronnie, I really resent that you sullie the legacy of B. Arthur with Adrian Maloof's voice. B.R. Adrian Maloof is where, I mean, B.R. Arthur is where Adrian Maloof got her voice. It's like B.R. 3 died and Adrian Maloof got a package in the mail and it was B.R. 3's voice. - It was like Ursula was like, all right, here's your voice, Adrian. Sorry, it's the next one on the market. Adrian Maloof used to be a mermaid. She's like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. And Ursula's like, ooh, I can't do much of this bitch. Here, you can have the legs free of charge. Get out of my ocean. (laughing) I'm done to see. That's where I'll be. My spray tan on every shell. Hey Sebastian, have a surrogate baby with me. Where's Flounder? - A new world. - Oh, now she's in a, now she's in Aladdin. She's like, they're like, set it to Arabia. - Oh, what's the one where she thinks or she just wants to be? Oh yeah. - Part of your world. - Part of the Maloof's. She's like, she's like, I don't know the lyrics that's long. I'm like, I only know it's part of your world. - I thought it was Aladdin's. - She's like, what do you, she's like, what do you call this thing? A basketball team? No, it's a four. - I tried to start a basketball team in the sea, but the ball just kept rising through the surface. Fucking sea. (laughing) - How do you work? - We got two basketball teams, two basketball players. We're recruiting these, I know these two eels from the ocean, they'll be great on the team. - Sorry Adrian, I don't think you're really right for the Maloof organization. I'm gonna kind of ask a lot, get myself out of it. Okay, it's got in a strange direction. - Adrian Maloof works in any show we're talking about. (laughing) - Basically, in our version of Adrian Maloof's, the little mermaid, she gets legs so that way she can be part of management for the Sacramento Kings. (laughing) - Let's not get the points. - I'm gonna betray them. Betray them by, betray the small town by moving them. Where Ariel becomes evil. - Oh man. - Oh god, okay, so anyway, back to Chica. - Chica. - This is a long scene about hat Chica, which shopping if she bought some clothes. - Bruce. - And it may not be a size too, but you know, big girls can still spend a lot of that gay husband's money. And Jackie just told me my husband was gonna be giving blow jobs at a time. Somewhere, there he goes. You go, Jackie, I believe in angels, darling. And Bruce is like, listen, we got a cada. We got a cada, some of his royalty and cada, getting royalty, so we got how I chef Penny to make some of the Viennese sausage on a stick and bring him to the royalty and cada. - And they're building like some stadium or something. I mean, I don't care. I like Chica, but man, she's boring. - I know, I actually love Chica's. - We don't need 10 minutes of Chica if she's building something and wearing a hard hat. - Okay. - Just so we're doing it, and let's just move on. - Chica, Chica is so nice and perfectly lovely. It's amazing, because any chance that she has to be a crazy reality star, she just doesn't. Like when, so they all went golfing. So she meets up with Gamble beforehand, and she's like, Gamble, I just wanna say something to you. You know, I feel very terrible about the way things went down, and I apologize for my part in it, and I really didn't mean to hurt you, and for any hurt that you feel, I'm very sorry. I'm like, Chica, this is a TV show. Why did you do that? - She is so smart, though. You guys didn't buy the end, Janet's like, energy do that, she's living through. - Yes, now she's calling her a snake. - I mean, girl, you better watch out. - Gamble's like, I appreciate that. I appreciate your apologizing to me. - My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day, and said he was a big row as man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend. My friend's still laughing at me to this day. - Not everyone gets B2B, but with LinkedIn, you'll be able to reach people who do. Get $100 credit on your next ad campaign. Go to linkedin.com/results to claim your credit. That's linkedin.com/results. Terms and conditions apply. Linkedin, the place to be, to be. - This episode is brought to you in part by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now. You're driving, cleaning, and even exercising. But what if you could be saving money by switching to Progressive? Drivers who save by switching saved nearly $750 on average, and auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts. Multitask right now, quote today at Progressive.com, aggressive casualty insurance company and affiliates. National average 12 month savings of $744 by new customer survey who saved with Progressive between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential savings will vary. Discounts not available in all states and situations. - But I'm just getting to be the end now. We saw very important things happening. My favorite is the next scene, when Janet and Jackie go shopping together to buy golf balls. - Yeah. - And Janet's like-- - Gina was mean to me. - And starts like fake crying, and no tears come out. And Jackie's like, "I can't believe she'd do that." Who would do that to another person? What a horrible person. I really miss Andrea. I wish Andrea was still on the show. - I know, 'cause Andrea would be the one to step up and like start like a hate campaign. - Totally. - She'd be like, "Well, that's wrong." - We're taking it out. - I think it's time for me to give, to give Gina a little bit of advice. Some advice, you know, next time you have an issue, someone don't get involved. It's none of your, it's none of your opinion. There's just my little advice, I'm friendly advice. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. - Hey, you know what I call Gina? I call Gina a lady who gives some advice that's not wanted, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. (laughing) - Oh, I don't call Gina a barrister, I call her a scarister. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. - Hey, Gina, you know what you are? You're someone who goes into a courthouse and practices the law. (laughing) - Hey, Jamie, you think you've got a job but you're just a barrister. (laughing) - Hey, Gina, you know what you did when you ruined lunch the other day? It's like you took a perfectly nice meal and you made it awful. (laughing) - Queen of the Terrible put down. - Yeah. - Come back, Andrea, come back, Andrea. - I heard you was a stand up comic now. Oh, Andrea. - Oh. - Please let us watch that on TV. - She ain't glad that Jordan can go on a comedy tour. - Yeah, the terrible, the terrible plastic horror faces of comedy. - Yeah, well actually, a little side note. Our dear Angie Thomas, we all love Angie from the Small Potatoes Podcast. We were hanging out last night. She showed me an Instagram photo that Gretchen Rossi and Sheena had a comedy show two nights ago. I like the Acme Theater. - Yep, yeah, yeah, wow. - You saw that? - No, I didn't imagine it. - I felt like I knew that, but I didn't know that, but that's how shocking that is in my head. It sounds totally, totally normal. - Yeah, I got like a chill down my spine at some point the other night and I suddenly felt queasy and sick and it must've been because there was terrible comedy happening somewhere in the city. (laughing) - So next up we have Jane and I going to get photographed. - Yeah. - For something, what was that for? - She just has a lot of TV appearances lately. I think it was for her book, actually. I don't know. - Oh, it says Gina decides to take a few, make a few more of my dreams come true and invite us to a photo shoot. She's commissioned now that she's a superstar. - Yeah. - Okay, yeah, so it's just a photo shoot for herself. And then the photographer makes her sit awkwardly on some car. - Yeah. - At least she-- - Yeah. - Yeah, no, no, no, sorry, I'm just looking at the picture like, wow. That one more awkward than I remembered. - The best part about Gina is that she is all like sexy Gina and everything and she's all about exuding confidence, but then she becomes like so sweet and awkward when she is on this car because she knows it's like sort of like not her thing and it's not her silence, she'll just look ridiculous. And it's like sort of nice seeing that insecurity come out, sort of also when she wore sneakers later. You know, and that's what I think we like about Gina. As opposed to Andrea last season, when she does a photo shoot, she does this like very awkward pose like a strange prom pose and you know, to show that she's the boss and she knows what she's doing. And it was like the worst photo of all time. - Oh yeah, those were bad. - But this one, you know, Gina makes sure she goes to the most perverted old dude she can find. - Yeah. - And it's like, yeah, give me some of that breast. Yeah, girl, yeah, I can smell your sex through the camera. Think of this camera as one giant nose that's smelling your sex dulling. All right, now it's ready. Show me I'm beaver hunting dulling. (growling) Remember how I used to like to beaver hunt? (growling) - She's like, you're terrible, you're awful. - You're a terrible person. - Who are you? Who are you? (laughing) - Every year, every year, every year. - You're a bad boy. The reason I like to come to him is 'cause he's a bad boy. He's like, yeah, give it to me. I wish my penis could get hard right now. It'd be bumping up, up against my jeans. It's hard in my head, dulling. (growling) - Yeah. (laughing) - You want me like this? It's cause hot. Maybe get it out of the sun. - And then they showed the pictures of her and it's like her face with a bright light because the garage door is open behind her. I was like, oh. (laughing) Can't even use this for pamphlet covers. - Oh, jeanor. - Oh, jeanor. - Oh, jeanor. And then what happened after photographer? - Let's see. - Oh, cool thing. - Cool thing? There was something, oh, go fee. Go fee. - Go fee. - Go fee. - Go fee. - I feel so bad. I feel so bad for people listening to this podcast the first time they must have no idea. Like we make so many noises and sounds. (laughing) That is gamble talking to her future husband. - Go fee. - Oh, full fee. - Oh, full fee. - Oh, full fee. - The girls will mean to me, we'll see. What you have to say, make that movie. (growling) Remember when we met on E-Harmony, we'll see. - Oh, we'll remember when we met that sex party that we never had. Of course not. It's a really hard affirmation. Oh, I'm definitely gonna sue for defamatory defamation. - No. - I remember the time I clicked on your picture. Wolfie and I was worried because it looked, when you said in continent, I thought, oh, that's a man of the world. - Yeah, he's in a continent. - I thought they just couldn't keep you on one continent. Wolfie and Wolfie, you'd be traveling too much, but it just meant you were gonna put your pants on, Wolfie, oh, yeah, Wolfie. - Oh, Wolfie. - When I saw that you're a senior citizen, I thought that you meant you were a senior in high school and a citizen of Australia. I didn't really meant that you were an old person, Wolfie. - Oh, Wolfie, the sun is so mentalized, isn't it, Wolfie? Wolfie, Wolfie. - So they go golfing and let's see what happens there. Most of it was just, the first 10 minutes was just a lady standing around going, I wonder what Janet's gonna wear. - There's Janet, you look wonderful, Janet. - Oh, I wonder what Chica's gonna wear. - Oh, Chica, you look like what Chica always follows the dress code for car right now. - I also love, yeah, so basically Chica and Gamble made up as we previously discussed, then all the girls arrived. Janet and Chine Chine arrived by helicopter, which was rather unnecessary. And then Lydia wasn't there because she was at a town, perhaps Mr. Fig had a date, Mr. Figaro had a date somewhere, maybe in Sydney, and then they were like swinging at the ball. And then I loved that like, that like Chine, Chine, Chine was like, oh, we better get out of the way. I got a feeling that Gina's gonna lose control of the club and then Gina loses control of the club. She's like, the angels, the angels told me. I'm like, I think the angels have something better to do than to weigh in on whether or not Gina's gonna let go of a club clearly on purpose for TV. - That is the funniest gift of all time though. Gina golfing in the club flying away. - Yeah. - So then Chine is like, I've got to leave early. I've got to go proof the pictures I took on top of a hot sexy car. I got a burn on my ass third degree, but it was worth every penny. You should see the calendar. Every month is the same me on the same car in a different pose. - I said to the photographers said, listen, listen, we want to have you in different poses. And I said, no, you like cancer. And I'm saying, get that pose out of my system right now. - This is the pose I'm doing. And that cut it out. Cut out that pose from the calendar. I just want one picture every single month. - I want my boob to be, I want my left boob to be slightly leaning in a little more different direction every single time. Other than that, I want it exactly the same, all right. You can't really even tell the difference unless you skip from January to December. (laughing) - That's why I called this month timeless because you never know what time it is of the year. (laughing) - So Gina, so Gina had to leave early. - But before she left though, before she left, all five ladies sort of stood there. And the petty floor wasn't there. Petty floor wasn't even in the episode, which is fine by me. Jackie was like, so we're all good. I don't really feel of happiness right now. I feel like the things that are unresolved. Ching, ching, ching. - Ching, ching, ching. - And then they had to. - And then they had to. - And then she just said, sorry. And then it was all okay. - They apologized. - It was so weird. - Yeah, but they were so angry and then all of a sudden they hugged and everything was fine. And then next they're like having shots. And they're like smiling and laughing and apologizing and. - And then saying things like, and then Janet's like, I forgive, but I don't forget. Look, good one Janet. And then Campbell's like, "Well, I guess I couldn't feel her for defamation "because I said lots of nasty things about her too, "but I said, you know, I just thought, "I don't know, maybe this time I won't get so upset. "I have to work, I'm not proud of this, "but you know, it's what I work on." And you know, it's just short. - So we're going for four episode arcs. I take it off the show. - Yeah. - So next week, someone's gonna lose a button and then they're gonna be like, "You stole the button, someone sabotaged that button." - And then Lydia's gonna like, she'll talk to the camera, she'll nod her head, she'll be like, "Oh, I know what that button is, nod, nod, nod. "It's somewhere." - She'll be like, "But am I bluffing?" - No. - I've got five buttons on my shirt, so don't come after me. I got my buttons, she nods. I know what a button is too. - She'll be like, "Without a button, "you'll be showing everyone your flop, get it?" - I was at the supermarket and I saw some button mushrooms, so I think we all know who's been stealing the button. It's the supermarket, nodding. - Whoa, it's really good Lydia. - She's so stupid. - Okay, let's move on to the next show then, darling. - Let's move on. Should we move on to Atlanta? - I mean, I'd love it. - Let's do it, I took notes, I took notes on Atlanta. - All right, let's do it, what'd you start with? - Well, let's just start with the Nini thing first, 'cause that was small, thankfully, and out of the way. So Nini, all the women went to the Philippines for their trip. Nini did not go because she needed to do work with Cinderella, which seemed awfully convenient to me. So she went to New York, and then she had to meet with the creative director of the show, this poor guy, he's probably worked his way up in Broadway over years and years and years, and now he has to sit across from Nini as she's sitting there saying that she wants to use two different accents on Cinderella. - Can I use two accents? - And he's like, "What do you mean?" - Check, well, you know what, and then Nini, a little Nini comes out, I'm like, "No, Nini." She's gonna be like, "Bipity, boppity, blue, okay?" - She's like, "Bitch!" - She's like, "How about if I say, 'Bye, wig?'" I'm like, "I hate to break a tune, Nini." Like, we get that reference, but most people watching Cinderella are not gonna understand what the hell they're talking about when you say, "Bye, wig." - Yeah, they're not coming to see Nini, they're coming to see Kiki. - That's Cinderella. (laughing) - And actually, most people don't even know who Kiki Palmer is either. They just start just going 'cause they see Cinderella and they're gonna go and it's-- - They're going to go check into like $5 on TKTS. - Yeah, that's exactly what I was gonna say. It's $5. - Lincoln Center is like, "Has that shit open until the next show starts?" - See, you know what would have been fun? It would have been if Nini got a roll and Spider-Man turned down the dark or whatever it's called. (laughing) - 'Cause you have a mask and we're gonna hang you up like that on the drop. - It's just like, swing you around, that's what I would, that's what I would see would be Nini swinging around on some cables. - Oh, Niners. - Yeah. - He's a poor creative director, it looked like he wanted to shoot himself. But what I thought was really funny was that Nini's excuse for not going on the trip was that she told the woman that she gets blood clots. I'm like, "Lady, everyone gets blood clots, just walk around a little bit." But thank God for, but I loved Kenya. - It's the worst. - Nini's honestly the worst. Every time she comes on screen now, I'm just like, "Oh, good, just make it stop." - But I loved Kenya who said, "Well, I wish her a happy blood clotless week." (both laughing) - And I love that she couldn't be cleared for travel and then she flew to New York. - Exactly, exactly. - But yeah, that was pretty sad. And she shows up in New York, she's had the script now for months. She shows up in New York and the guy's like, "Yeah, you're gonna have like five minutes to rehearse and then you go on stage, I'm really sorry, but that's just how broadway is and blah blah." She's like, "Okay, okay." And then opens her script and doesn't know any of the lines. And then when she reads them, she's just reading them. She's like, "Cinder Ella, Cinder Ella, come down here and pick the things out of the ashes, Cinder Ella." - She's totally olive from bullets over Broadway. (both laughing) - C'm, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, I'm sure. - Yeah, it's like, darling, darling, darling. Just remember in Act Three, it's, or not to be, or not to be. - Oh, not to be, darling. - Darling, just remember that. Just remember that's one of my favorite-- - To be, oh, line? - That's honestly one of my favorite lines in that movie. It's all, then she goes, "Aww, you're tired, you're not taking it in." (both laughing) That's what Tracy Omen says to that character afterwards. Like, it's her not to be-- - Uh-oh, MJ's backing up. - Yeah, oh, yeah, oh, there's a big old match up full of sliders and Fritos and Shervin. - Shervin, the Shervin's taking an Instagram photo in the middle of all of MJ's sliders. - Oh, so Nimi is like, "Those girls, they got me so upset, Greg." I mean, we went to this therapy thing and it turned into Attack Nini Day, okay? They were attacking Nini and Greg's like, "Well, good baby, here's what I gotta say. When people are like that to you, it's time to back up, look inside of yourself, and realize that Nimi is the queen of everything." You understand? Nini got the queen, Shane, 'cause she's the queen of everything. And I'm gonna keep it clean, 'cause she's my queen. You seen? - Okay, Greg, nice. Like, can we all marry somebody like Greg? - I know. - If you're just upset and you're clearly in the wrong, he'll just rhyme shit and make you feel better. - Yeah, it's true. Whenever I think of Greg now, I just think of him with his stupid toilet coffee mug. 'Cause I just imagine him holding it there, slipping out of it. Although ironic, it's like he signed up for a life of eating shit, just so he'd never have to get a job. - He's like-- - You're right, baby, you're right. - He's like, "I will eat shit both, literally and figuratively." He's gonna drink out of this toilet. - Baby, you're right. Your eyes shine like mine, baby, because when I look in you, I see me too, baby. - Drink, drink. - You glass. (laughs) - Eat shit. - Oh, I love that. - That shit. You gotta retire sometime. - And it's like, it's just, I don't know, Greg, he's just there to hold a purse in his oversized men's warehouse button down that's untucked. Everything is like a shirt that was worn from 1988. - Yeah, 1988 Wall Street guy wore it. He wears it untucked as a casual. - Baby, when you gotta show with flour, you gotta show with power, baby. Tommy Bahama, no more drama Bahama mama. - Flesh. - You're in Cinderella, and I'm your fella. So you gotta get an umbrella, and if not, let's drink a Stella from my toilet and Stella gasoline, I don't know. - Flesh. - I love that if I just keep it going long enough, I can bait you into trying it. (laughs) Like a little kid. My butt climbing this tree is fun. It's hanging right over the freeway. It's really fun. - And then he gets hit by a Mac truck. - Yeah, pretty much. - With shurfing and sliders. So, okay, so meanwhile, the rest of the ladies went to the Philippines for actually a pretty uneventful trip so far. I mean, let's see. So they went, they did yoga, and, okay, I was just about to talk about candy falling asleep in yoga, and at that moment, Ronnie, conveniently just completely fell off the call. - Because I'm, you know, I'm like that bitch. - Yeah, I fall asleep in yoga many times. - I was about to say, I was about to say. - The only reason I ever took yoga is 'cause I saw the class and I saw them laying down in there. I was like, that's a class for me. - Well, I've actually never taken a yoga class. I've only done yoga from like a DVD in my living room. I'm afraid to do it in a class. I'm afraid I will fall asleep. And I'm afraid I will fall asleep. - I'm afraid I will fall. - They really, they come and fix you, you know? They'll like move your butt forward and tell you what you're doing wrong. If you do it at home, you'll be like, why do my knees hurt? - That's true. - I would like to point out that Buddha was fat though. So I quit that class. - So yeah, good point. What was I gonna say about yoga, et cetera? So candy fall asleep. So that's one thing that was exciting to happen on the trip, on the trip. Someone fell asleep on the trip. - Well, I just liked that it was this. It's a spiritual trip because everybody's been fighting. Claudia's like, listen, it's really important for me. To everybody gets along because I'm just that kind of person. I want everybody to just get along. And you know, like I know you all think of me as a hippie. I'm like, actually, I think I just saw you call someone a ratchet hole like 20 times a couple of weeks ago. But so no, I didn't think that, but. - Yeah. - And so she's trying to have this like peaceful trip, which you can't do in LA. I mean, why, like Jesus Christ people, go to Santa Fe. - Yeah, you don't have to go to Philippines to have a nice dinner, you know. - But everybody in America has seen "Real Housewives of Atlanta" and anywhere near America has seen "Real Housewives of Atlanta" and no one will give them free rooms anymore. - Yeah. - Everyone's like, listen. All you do is get like ex-consperm in our hot tubs, ruin our rooms, and then Peter's like walking around bossing people around. - Yeah. - There you will for me. - I'm your boss, no, a fun one. - They can't even get a room in that time share that they send all the women on "Real Housewives of New Jersey" to last season in Florida. They're like, oh, time show people like, oh no, we don't want you to type here. Send them to the Philippines. - Yeah, next year they're going to be like. - "Cast trip, Iraq." - That's great. - You guys are staying in a straw hut right behind the enemy line. Is that fun? - ISIS is like, actually, we're not sure we're going to grant those filming permits. ISIS is all, we'll be out of town for that two weeks. - Yeah, ISIS is like, the terrorists can't even take it. - We'll just start beheading ourselves now, actually. Thanks. (laughing) - "Tasteless joke." (laughing) - Well, ISIS, what are you supposed to do? - That's true. So actually, there was a nice scene though, like Claudia and Phaedra had a nice moment where they bonded over their divorces, et cetera. Claudia started to get choked up over her divorce 'cause was there an honesty issue of some sort? I don't know. It's sort of-- - Yeah, I wasn't really sure what was going on with that. Like, now we're suddenly-- - It was a little weird to me because I was like, Claudia was trying to really connect with Phaedra, and so she's like, I want to really learn about you, so let me just talk about myself for a while. But I mean, I sort of got it because she was just trying to say, like, listen, if you need someone to talk to about these things, I'm there for you. - Yeah, that was nice. - Yeah. - Nice enough, and Phaedra's like, I don't think I really want to talk about that with you, so thanks. - Yeah, Phaedra's like, I'm not gonna talk about that with you right now, okay? - Yeah, but it was fine. - It was nice, yeah, someone tried to talk to Phaedra. I love that Phaedra refused to accept an apology. - Yeah. (laughs) - I don't know, I kind of like that. I know that Phaedra's like a huge bitch in a lot of people's eyes for doing stuff like that, But I actually kind of respect that because when somebody's called you a hoe and possibly made up a bunch of texts to make you look stupid and try to fuck your husband and you know done all the other shit that they've both done stuff to each other. But all the stuff they've done to each other. You don't just say I'm sorry and then it's over. Right. This isn't Melbourne. Okay. This is Atlanta. Well, but I love the way Fajor deals with it because Cynthia, you know Cynthia offers up her apology. She's like, I was wrong. And then like then Claudia was like, well, Fajor, do you have anything that you want to say to Cynthia? And this is Phaegis goes, next course please. Yeah. It's all about the food. Yeah. And then she says in her interviews, she's like, I will not be featuring Cynthia in my movie theater anytime soon. I was like, I don't even that doesn't even make any sense. But I like it. Yeah, I like that. She just keeps coming up with new ones, no matter what. Yeah, she's like, I will not be featuring a Cynthia vacuum bag in my Hoover. So it doesn't make sense. I will not be putting a Cynthia. I will not be putting a, well, who is it? Who are we talking about Cynthia? I will not be putting a Cynthia Swiffer on my Swiffer sweeper to clean my floors. Thank you. Yeah, there will be no Cynthia cactus in my flower pot. Thank you. I will not be pulling the string to open my bag of Cynthia cheese cheese for my quesity is later. Thanks. I will not be checking out this Cynthia book from the library. Thank you. I will not be eating the Cynthia flavor jelly belly in my multi flavored jelly belly packs. Thank you. When I eat my Oreo, I will take off the two cookies, but I will not be eating the cream filled Cynthia on the inside. I will be scraping that off and depositing it in the trash. Thank you. I will not be taking the Cynthia train from Grand Central Station. Thanks. I will not be taking the Cynthia, the Cadbury cream egg with Cynthia cream on the inside. I will instead have the Cadbury egg with the hard shell instead. Thanks. I will not be eating the Cynthia cheese. I will instead order a skinny cow. Yes. I will not be having a jalapeno popper with Cynthia cream cheese in the middle. I will just have a jalapeno. Thank you. I think they make less sense each time. I know. I will not be buying the Cynthia fish from my aquarium. Thank you. My aquarium is full. There will not be a Cynthia foot in my shoe. I will just have to cut off my own leg. Thank you. Oh, okay. So what else happened on the show? This was like a lot of apologizing. Well, I mean, the thing, there was a lot of eating. That's why at one point I wrote down this quote. I don't even remember the context. I think they were supposed to be eating vegan stuff and someone snuck in some like real meat. And Candy's like, thank the Lord for chicken. Yes, Candy. See now, Raleigh needs chicken. Yeah, all candy cares about us the food. She's like, I don't know why we're fighting, but I love chicken. Look, all right. Candy's earning her spot. And I also like that candy can take care of her issues with that being a total slut about it. You know, she's just like free by the way, Ronnie, good for you for not saying the C word there. I felt like you want to say it. You were like, that's a lot for a year, yeah, except for last week. Oh, didn't you say it last week? And then you apologize? No, I forgot about that. Yeah, that can go on the big that can go on the bingo thing right there. I don't remember that. But you know, but you know what was funny to me was how quickly and how easily they all can devolve into bickering, because at one point when Cynthia and Phaedra were trying to work things out, then like, I think, um, Portia started to like giggle with Candy and then Claudia's like, well, has that funny? And then Portia's like, excuse me, I was not talking to you. I'm allowed to giggle if I want. So hush now. And then Candy's like, Candy's like, you don't get to tell me to hush. And she's like, I can't tell anyone I want to hush. No, you hush now. And suddenly they are full fledged fighting over nothing. Yeah, they wouldn't even remember what it was the next day. But she told me to stop laughing. Oh, you tell me to stop laughing. Don't check me. I want to appreciate being checked. We're here to talk about peace. And you're trying to check me. Oh, they get into these fights with all this, like entitlement of like everything is like, you're not allowed to tell me a friend or a friend. I mean, do something. All we've seen Portia do, I think in the past two seasons. So one time too much to buy his shoes with their sister. When she rented some house with no furniture in it that she can't afford three miles away from Atlanta. And then the rest of the time is just her saying stupid shit that she doesn't know anything about slavery or you know, she's like ignorant comments. She's like, I bought a monthly pass the underground railroad. I can run as long as I want for free for every month. So the thing is that like, there she was funny today when she was at the airport and they're like, Hey, how much did you bring? She's like, well, I gotta go change clothes because I'm just wearing this to get on the plane. And then I got comfortable stuff on the plane. Like you got the costume change for the plane. Yeah, women. You want the international airport? Do you know how many high single rich men are on the airport? That's funny. Although it is, but I read I did read it a some stupid like book about how to be a lady. I read like a page where it said like, women, stop wearing like Juicy Couture sweat pants in in the airport. Do you know how it was saying the same thing? Like, there are a lot of like wealthy men who are flying. You got to look at your best ladies. So I sort of understood that although she was taking it to an extreme. But you know, the thing is there is like so much entitlement with these women that they are constantly going off the handle where they're saying like, you can't tell me to say that. You're not allowed to say that. You can't tell me this. It's like, you know what? Maybe once in a while think to yourself like, no, maybe maybe she is allowed to tell me that. Maybe I am doing something wrong. Like, just relax, especially Portia. Although Claudia was so funny doing Portia's walk. That was a highlight for me. Remember that when she sort of like did that? Right. Who? Claudia at one point, she's like, I'm going to do the Portia walk. Oh yeah. Moving her ass. I love that girl. I'm really liking the cast of season. I think they're super fun to watch. Except for to meet you. I don't even have I don't even have a lot to bitch about with these ladies. I just really enjoy watching it. Also, Bravo is milking the hell out of this show. I think it's about to be episode 20. And they haven't even announced the season finale yet. I know there hasn't been any talk about a reunion. Oh, no. I think actually with just today, there was a tidbit about a reunion in that Demetri wasn't invited, which is fine. Demetri does nothing except sort of stand there and look doe-eyed. Yeah. I think that in any reunion where you've got cast members that don't work out, you should just bring in Chef Penny. Does Chef Chef Penny what she thinks? Because you know she has an opinion. Chef Penny, quickly, get on the reunion. Nothing. Get on here. Let's talk. All right. Let's talk about the Blood Sweat and Heels premiere. What? Sweat and Heels is back. Now, last season, it's funny. The show started off really strongly, and I loved it. And then it kind of got really boring. But I think the season looks like it's off to a good start. Poor Daisy. Oh, my heart broke for that poor girl. When Daisy set, because of course, Daisy's kind of a nerd, and she's kind of obnoxious, and we'd like to make fun of her a lot last year. And so, of course, when she came on, my notes were like roots, bad wig, blah, blah, blah. And then she says she has cancer. And I was like, I'm a horrible human being, and I'm sobbing. Yeah, way to go, Melissa, horrible. I felt bad. You know, the thing is this, Daisy can be annoying. We definitely dinged her for a lot of things last season. But I think at her core, she does seem like a very sweet girl, and even if you're not sweet, it's not like you just don't deserve to have cancer no matter what. And I think- Look, Carrot top doesn't deserve bile duct cancer. Yeah. But does he have that? No, that's what she had. Oh. She had cancer in her bile ducts. I'm saying even the most awful people in the world don't deserve cancer in their bile ducts. Right. I thought you were talking about Carrot top, the actual comedian had bile ducts. No, no, I'm saying even people like Carrot top don't deserve that. I mean, that's like a terrible fate. Like, if we've made fun of her or not, like you- Yeah, no one deserves that. Even if we've enjoyed making fun of someone, no one would hope that- Right. But you know, and the thing is this, like, this is like the first time I think I'm bravo that we've really seen one of their stars be in the throes of it. We've had like the fake cancers, and we've had the- I had cancer- See, is this chronic? Yeah. And I'm eating lemon flavored jelly bellies because China told me to get rid of it. Yeah, but like, I think to me the most poignant scene of all, like, I think the hardest scene to watch was her walking up a staircase, and she could barely do it. And she's like, not- she doesn't want anyone to know she has cancer, and she's out of breath, and she's just trucking on, just trying to get to Kathy Lee and Hoda. And I thought, like, this is, you know, this is remarkable. This, you know, like, like, her spirit is great. But also, like, you know, it's sort of like fuck, fuck like the- all the, uh, what's her ambers of New Jersey, and like, the Kim Zulsiax, or whatever, for, like, trying to even exploit something that's not like, you know, this is a woman right here who actually has cancer, and she is struggling. And, um, it made me really mad. It made me really mad at all those storylines about fake cancer, uh, because, you know, when you see this, when you see this, this girl at 34 can barely make it up a staircase, just trying to get to Kathy Lee, you know, I don't know, like, my heart really went out to her, and I, I felt like, you know, this was real. This was real. And I don't know, it's just really, you know, juxtaposed with the fakeness of Kathy Lee and Hoda. Could you imagine, and the throes of cancer having to go on there, and having to, like, be like, this is the best miracle made best of the fall. That's a whole Kathy Lee and Hoda show. I know, right. Mandek, my days, am I right? God, who watches that? Those women make me fucking crazy. Shut up. Um, I did feel bad for her because she's like, no matter what she does, she just never really go this girl's way. Okay. She shows up there, she's got to walk up some stairs. And by the way, I was like, I don't want she's got to dance. Then they set her up against a background that's exactly the same color as her dress. So she's just basically a floating in. Like, this whole thing is not going well. Oh, poor Daisy. And then what, what is her product? Is it something where it's like a belt that just brings in the waist? What is it now? I don't, I don't remember. Is it like a weight belt? It's something like cinch the waist or, or like, waist, waist or size. See, we don't even remember the product. It's not a good product, but it's something where she, she puts it on fat ladies. And I think it just makes her waist look smaller. So that even if they're still big, it looks like they have a shape. So it's like some kind, I'm imagining it is like just a rope with her face on it that people tie around their fat part really tight. So at least they got like an hourglass. I don't even remember this belt from the episode. I'm like, I think I was just like, like still weaving. I don't think it's a belt. I don't even remember what the product was, but she was there to advertise her new thing, which is for big women to have an hourglass figure. And they showed the before picture. And it was just like a big, my 600 pound life woman. And then she came out to model something. And it was the same woman, but her waist was cinched in. So she had like a figure. Oh, yeah. I somehow missed all of that. I really don't know how I missed it. I think I was still like just replaying the staircase scene in my mind and being like, Oh, Daisy. No, it's like a shape where for hand planets. It was cute though. Like, you know, I mean, why not? Maybe I'll get that. Yeah. So that's what's going on with Daisy. So Daisy first told Micah, which was a very, that was like a very sad scene, you know, because like, it was it was a real moment. And she was like, when she was describing it, and it was like, you know, the thing is also sometimes on these shows, I'm going to try to say this delicately, so I don't sound like an asshole. Sometimes on these shows, a lot of times what you get is like breast cancer scares. And breast cancer is a very serious and scary thing, but it's almost like normalized for us in a sense that like we see it on these shows. People get breast cancer and then they get it taken out, whatever, and then they go to chemo and then they're fine, which is obviously not the way breast cancer is every single time. But you're sort of like, you're almost used to like skin cancer, breast cancer, things. And so if we're in Daisy said, like it was in her liver, and then there are other cells, you know, it's just like, this was like a deep, very scary cancer. Yeah, because once you said, yeah, so they got it all because you said, oh, I had it in my bile duct, and they took it out, and then they did another test, and she's like, oh, so you got it? They got it? And she's like, no, they found more, you know, stage three, which is. Yeah, stage three, yeah, I think that's the thing. It's like, it's not a, it's not a demean breast cancer, because breast cancer is very scary and very real. But it's more like, it's just like, it's just like that, it's like a victim storylines just to get some, you know, like almost cancer from, whatever. And of course, I cancer scare at like three different, that was married to medicine, it was married to medicine. Yeah, she where Lisa had almost cancer. I'm gonna go get my test at some point. I can't believe you even remember her name. I can't believe you even remember her name. I mean, listen to a scare name. I think I don't know. I think so. Here's the thing. I mean, a cancer care is legitimate. I remember it because Lisa Bonet was the whitest Cosby daughter, and she was like the whitest married to medicine person besides, oh my god, I can't believe you're so rude. Oh, yeah, I'm very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, dunking, dunking, dunking. No, I mean, a cancer care is scary, but still to milk it for like five episodes is not cool. People use it. Yeah, people use it as a storyline, and it desensitizes you. One time my mom thought she, you know, my mom had a breast cancer scare a long time ago. And she's like, I expected more of a reaction from you. I said, I'm freaked out. I mean, I don't I don't know what to tell you. I'm here for you. Let me know what I can do. If I can come in town, whatever, she's like, well, Carly cried. She was offended that I didn't cry. And I said, mom, I watch housewives. Like, I don't take anything like this seriously unless you're in a hospital, because the housewives have desensitized me, everybody, everybody. There's been at least one person on every season who's almost had something. I'm like, call me when it's time to go to chemo, and I'll be sobbing by your side. But I just can't let myself cry until then, because the housewives ruined my soul. Yeah. Well, Daisy, I will cry for Daisy, but I hope she gets through it and everything. But it was, but once she described it to Micah, that was honestly like a very emotional scene. I was like, Oh my gosh. And then later on in the episode, you know, Melissa Ford was upset with Daisy because Daisy had been a little absent for obvious reasons, but Melissa didn't know why. And so she sort of confronted Daisy. And then Daisy told Melissa, and I don't know, I thought that was a very moving scene, because it's a very real emotion. You could see it on Melissa's face, learning about it, feeling bad, and like didn't know what to say. And then Daisy said something very poignant, which is that she doesn't like to tell people because she winds up the one comforting them. Because I was thinking the same thing. I was like, this is crazy that Daisy is sitting there hugging Melissa. It should be the other way around. I know, but that's why that's why you don't really keep it secret. You just like put it on Facebook or something. I mean, I mean, honestly, like, I know I'm selling like I'm being a dick, but I complain all the time when people put shit like that on Facebook, because it's so annoying, you know, it's like, not not as they have cancer, but like every, every sad thing that happens in their life, because sometimes it seems like people are trying to get social media attention, because they're just sad. But something like that is a huge deal, and to have to go around to each of your friends. I mean, that's a lot of lunches. Yeah, and a lot of emotional lunches. Yeah, because of course, like, I know you're comforting them, but that is part of it, you know, you're, that's going to hurt us if you're sick, you know. Yeah, yeah, exactly. But also, I love that she waited for Melissa to be mad at her for a while. She's like, okay, go ahead and have your say. Melissa's like, you miss my parties. And remember that modeling thing? And remember that other thing where I was doing monologues about my vagina, and you didn't come? And she's like, well, I have cancer. Well, you know, let her think of yourself a grave and then fall into it. You know, the thing is this, if you're going to have cancer, you might as well use it as you might as well enjoy those moments. Make a bitch cry, make her pay for lunch. Here we go. Okay, now here's my finishing move. If you're going to have to go to that many crying lunches, at least get them paid for. Melissa's like, I've got five dollars in my account, but I've still got credit. Meanwhile, so Melissa's doing a producing a musical about her life called Who Cares? Just kidding. Okay, she's, she's producing a musical about her life, about how hot she is. Okay, so here's the cast, ugly women who are jealous of her, and disgusting straight guys who just want to bone her. I mean, come on now, that that's the saddest damn thing I've ever seen. And not only that, but it's called something like, Oh God, I couldn't even write it down. It was long, right? It's a take on for color girls who are considered suicide under the other side of the rainbow or something, which is like actually a beautiful poetic play about black people, emotions and history and trying to overcome and all of this. And she takes it. She takes this beautiful poetic title that furthered her race and uses it as a slut mobile for herself. I mean, just like, that's like the time this one time about like 11 years ago, I saw this awful play out here in LA. I fear I was called, but it was basically like the hot chick answer to the vagina monologues. And like every monologue was like, how difficult it is to be a hot chick? No one takes you seriously. And Oh my God, I got drugged. Oh my God, I'm doing a shot and it was so insufferable and narcissistic. I was like, I get it. I get it. Like you don't get taken seriously if you're hot, but like, I'm sorry, I cannot sit through 90 minutes of, you know, this pity party. Just to be just to be clear, I had to look at that. But the original show is for color girls who have considered suicide when the rainbow is enough. Most acclaimed theater piece, it consists of a series of poetic monologues to be accompanied by dance movements and music, a form change coined as the core poem. For colored girls tells the stories of seven women who have suffered oppression in a racist and sexist society. So that's basically what she's stealing her title for. Wow, classy. And I want to I have to see Melissa Ford musical because we have to give people that title for people who don't watch it. That's hilarious. Well, you know, maybe if Melissa Ford had joined a mother's love, maybe that production was still been a mother's love. I would have seen that a mother's love. I would have totally seen that. Nothing's even showing up for her musical. So I don't know if that didn't end up not happening or what. Yeah, do a search for community theater in the Ozarks and Melissa for maybe you'll find it there. Kicking for colored girls and then that by Melissa for let's see. Kicking for colored girls and then kicking. Oh, I say kicking the original thing in it. Anyway, screw that. But that play looks really sad and hilarious. And I would totally watch if it was $5 at CKTS. Yeah, that I would watch that before I'd watch Cinderella. So, and then we get Demetri wait, Demetri, which one was Demetri? No, no, Demetri is the Wesley Snipes's Genevieve or Geneva, Geneva, Geneva. So Demetri is the blogger yet. She's so monotone. She's like, I am still writing my blog and I'm getting married and I'm really not into it, but we have to take pictures and we don't like to cuddle in public, but we had to afford the pictures and. Wow, glad like glad you're back. I know, you know, she is definitely very smart. I think she's very, very smart, but oh God, she is a killjoy. She is. The only reason she's on here is because she's, she got so many more blog followers. Yeah, oh, exactly. I mean, which again is why she's smart, but like, oh, she, she's like a killjoy and it's like, I want to love her. But there's something about her that's just like a little nasty and kind of like, you know that like, she's, I mean, she's very condescending to you know that like at a coffee, like a coffee at like a cocktail party, she should just make you feel like shit like, like you make some comment and she should be the type that you make a comment about this. Like, I love this show and you'd be like, she'd be the one be like, well, I don't know about that, but okay. I mean, if you like it, you like it. I'll be like, yeah, she's, she's a bit much, but you know, she is fun to watch fight. Yeah, she's good in a fight. She's really good in a fight. The other thing is, let's see. So Genevieve, she got rid of her bangs. I keep calling Genevieve Geneva. Genevieve got rid of her bangs and I love how she's like, oh, well, you know, I'm no longer at uptime magazine. I'm writing for myself. She says in this like, happy ways if she moved on, you know, she totally got fired from that magazine. There's no way. Yeah, she's making unemployment sound so fun. Yeah, she's like, I am writing. I'm in an apartment. I can't afford. I don't have to do my own project. Snap, snap, snap. I moved to Wall Street, snap, snap. And her mom's like, corn here, corn there, corn everywhere. And she's like, yes, mother snap. You know, that's all your mother's coins that she's throwing at you. And you are still being supported by your mother. Get over it. We don't believe you for one second. Yeah, you were 100% fired, I believe from uptime magazine. Then that's pretty much all that happened to Genevieve at that episode. Then we have one that gets thrown in jail later for cracking a bottle on somebody. Melissa Ford's head. Yeah. Yeah, she is. Then we have Micah, who is crazy as ever. I mean, she cracks me up. She's broken up with her boyfriend. Greg was named Greg, I think, or whatever his name was. They're done specified reason. She's like, you know, I didn't know if I could trust him with this. And it's not just that it's finances and women and houses and cars and skates. So what? And you know, they flashed back to, they did a lot of flashbacks to her big fights last season, you know, when the girls called her an alcoholic. And you know, I was thinking about it, you know, because we've obviously talked about it a billion times with Beverly Hills. And they flashed back to a scene from last season where they were like, no, don't call someone alcoholic. Those are very heavy words. Those are damaging words. And I sort of think like, you know what, I don't want that to be taken from me. I think, I think we should have a right to call someone an alcoholic. Because if you act like an alcoholic, then you're going to be called an alcoholic. And then it's up to you to prove us that you're not an alcoholic. I'm sorry. Exactly, you know, we're allowed to call people an alcoholic. It's not that we're not calling you a child molester, you know, we're saying, like, Oh, based on the fact that you spread your legs at a party where it's like not a frat party, and you acted crazy, and you were wasted these, you know, in these three or four past times I saw you. You know, I think you seem like an alcoholic. I think it's, I think it's safe to say that. And I that goes to Micah and to Kim Richards. Yeah, well, I'm going to save my alcoholism, ranting for the next podcast, because I know I'm going to have a lot after that. Uh huh. That really heals. Your bingo boards ready that if you show up somewhere drunk and acting like a damn fool, and people tell you you're acting like a damn fool, and then you start screaming and yelling, you know, they have a right to say that that's obnoxious. Yeah, I don't care. Now I think that it is weird when they're like, you're an alcoholic, so I'm going to shun you. Yes. That's different. That's different. Very nice. Yes. I mean, my friend has got a drug problem. He's still my friend. I just tell him, listen, I'll hang out with you when you're not fucked up. Just don't come over here fucked up, because then you'll probably steal things from me. Yeah. Come over on your sober and not accusing me of stealing your drugs. Yeah, that would be better. Yeah. Well, well, that's a relationship. That being said, I still love Micah. I think she's hilarious. I love Micah. I love that she's laying down on a fucking lounger. Yeah. During her whole thing, singing songs, and obviously drunk while she's doing it. What was that thing? At one point, she started doing something. She's like, seven, seven, seven. What was that thing she was doing? It was cracking me up. She was like, she was doing like a low class act. She was like, set, I'll get 70, seven that. I was like, dying. When she's like, I think it was something like, yeah, you need to, you need to step away from your life for a minute and take a break. Step away. Step away. Yeah. Take a step away. Take a step away from your life. Step it. Step it. Step it away. Step back. Step back. And she's kind of calm down. She's just probably a little attention-horier and needy, but great for TV. Yeah, great for TV. I love her. I'm hoping that the season will be the new women that they showed in the preview look very promising. Oh my God. They look so good. Yeah, that one British woman's like, well, if you can't make it to New York, you have to go somewhere like second rate like Atlanta. I was like, yes. That was so great. I'm sure everyone in real houses of Atlanta, they are going to hate her. Yeah, I'm loving this. I'm loving it. I think that they're already laying the groundwork for a really fun season and they brought in some people to start some real fights. So I think it's going to be a very good season. I'm trying to think here. Let me see what else I wrote. Monotone, Daisy. Well, it looks like Demetra and the British woman have a spat because the British woman had like, I wish I wrote it down. In the preview, she had a great response to Demetra and Demetra lost her shit. It was something about like holding on to her sides or something like that. She's basically saying that she's fat. You know, classic fat shaming. Fat shaming. Fat shaming. Well, I think that brings us to the end of our night. Benjamin. Oh my God. And it's still sunny out. I know. Look at that. And you know, it's funny. It's also just 1.51 p.m. So, um, well, this was fun. Fun way to kick off the week. And we will be doing these normally on Tuesdays and Thursdays. But in this case, this week, I actually am going to be on a plane on Thursday. So we can still just put it out on Thursday. We could, couldn't we? Yeah, let's just put it on Thursday. So that's what we'll do. So there we go. Tuesday after noon, some Thursday afternoons. Next episode, Thursday afternoon, get ready. Yes, ma'amis. And I guess the bonus episodes will be out Thursday afternoons. It's whale now. Probably, probably. So yeah, come on our Facebook page and tell us if you want us to talk about something for the bonus episodes, because otherwise you're going to listen to me clip my nails and talk about how they need to change the color of the straws of Starbucks. They, we will talk about, hopefully, if you remember, we will talk about the new shows that Bravo has ordered and the ones they have ordered for second season. That, you can just go to our Facebook page and see them because Michael cooked those of them, which is very helpful. But we will probably go into depth with about that on the bonus episode. Yes. So come on and join us, y'all. Thanks for everything and thanks for all the support. Thanks y'all. Bye. If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the internet. The folks behind the sideshow network of launch the new YouTube channel called Wait For It. It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza Schleisinger, slicing, driving friends with her for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there and I still have a hard time with the last name Liza. Our very own Owen Benjamin, that's me, takes you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes and much more. You don't have to wait any longer. Just go to youtube.com/waitforaccomedy. There's no need to wait for it anymore because it's here and it's funny and I love you. On Monday, Josh Liebarger made his status "Pace of the Mondays" followed by a frowny face. It got one like in five comments, including dislike. Well, Josh, Geico also wants to make a comment. To turn that emoji's frown upside down. In just 15 minutes, you could save hundreds of dollars on your car insurance by switching to Geico. With all that extra dough, why not give Monday a makeover? We see an office party in your future. Hosted by you! #happyface #savings. Geico. 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance. If you like Watch what Crapins, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at Wondery.com/survey. In a quiet suburb, a community is shattered by the death of beloved wife and mother. But this tragic loss of life quickly turns into something even darker. Her husband had tried to hire a hitman on the dark web to kill her. And she wasn't the only target. Because buried in the depths of the internet is the kill list. A cache of chilling documents containing names, photos, addresses, and specific instructions for people's murders. This podcast is the true story of how it ended up in a race against time to warn those who lives were in danger. And it turns out convincing a total stranger someone wants them dead is not easy. Follow Kill List on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Kill List and more Exhibit C true crime shows like more bids early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. Check out Exhibit C in the Wondery app for all your true crime listening.
