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Watch What Crappens

#170: Cartinis, Stolen Houses and Bad Wigs

Duration:
1h 45m
Broadcast on:
18 Mar 2015
Audio Format:
other

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Ronnie Karam (TrashTalkTV) and Ben Mandelker (bsideblog) hang out to talk crap about NeNe?s terrible wigs and multiple personalities on Real Housewives of Atlanta, Kim and Kyle Witchard?s sad relationship on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Gamble?s face on Real Housewives of Melbourne, Stassi?s cum-uppance on Vanderpump Rules and the Queen of Reality bringing her own martini kit and butler to a party on the Southern Charm premiere. Join us!
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Enjoy 40% off your Shutterfly order with promo code Crap and Sporty and send something meaningful this year. Get free shipping on qualified orders, see site for more details. Hey everyone, welcome to another episode of Watch What Crap Is? The podcast about all the crap we love to talk about on Bravo. I'm Ronnie Caron from Trash Talk TV and with me is the lovely, talented, thin, gorgeous, and fully head of hair headed. Well, not totally. Ben Mandelker of the banter blender and B-side blog. Welcome, Ben. Thanks, Ronnie, you're so kind. I don't have all my hair necessarily, but enough to get by. Ben, for someone who's in his mid-40s, you've still got a lot of hair. You're doing great. You guys can find their-- The hair of the style. You guys can have the style, everyone. Get the eyes. Ben has good hair and a style because he got poop in his eye. I got poop in my eye. So you can find all of our following info or Twitter, blah, blah, on watchwhatcraphens.com. Also, come on to facebook.com/watchwhatcraphens to talk to other listeners and comment on our show threads and generally just laugh your ass off and have a good time. People post the most hilarious shit on there. Totally worth it, totally for air. Also, if you want more from this show, come to patreon.com/watchwhatcraphens. That's P-A-T-R-E-O-N.com/watchwhatcraphens. Because there, you can subscribe. And when you subscribe, there's different bonus things, like bonus episodes, monthly ringers. Tomorrow night, we're having our Google Hangouts potty, where we just go party for an hour, an hour and a half or whatever with you guys. And I'll talk, it's super fun. And also, that's happening tomorrow night at seven p.m. Pacific time. Just so all of you know there who want to come do it with us. Yeah, it's going to be super fun. And by the way, I'm just looking at our Facebook page. We're at like 30, basically 31 3,147 likes, which means we're getting super close to our goal of 10,000 likes. Almost there, slowly but surely we can get there. Well, do you think we should do that pay-for-like thing that people do where they're like, you know, pay for it and then we'll put your thing everywhere. And then people will like it. Yeah, no one's going to like it. The people will just pay and no one's going to like it. Just who have you ever liked something just because you see it on Facebook? No, but I see them all the time. And they're mostly for dentists. It's like dentist, robert, bloody blah. Mike, why would I like that? It's just annoying because when we try to get cool things for our podcasts, they're like, well, tell us about your social media. How many likes do you have? I'm like 3,000 like, okay, thanks. People are like, that's all they care about is your likes on Facebook. Yeah, we're more than now. We're a highly engaged community. Yeah, our Facebook, I don't care about that because this shit is hilarious. And I think maybe if it got too big, it would get uncomfortable because people get a little too rowdy when there's too many. I like that we kind of know the people who comment in here. I like that. It's like a little community, little community of faith, guys. That was my preschool name. Community of faith. Well, actually the best part is that the people who are on the Facebook page are actually smart and cool and nice. And so if you want to have a Facebook community with the YouTube commenters of the world, then it would be a disaster. But as it is, people write funny things on it and they engage in funny ways and they post funny links. So we have to count our blessings that we have good listeners and good Facebook fans. Yes, and I'm actually reading some stuff on here right now and it's totally getting me. Horny? Yeah. Horny, darling. Thank you for all the horny, my busy post on Facebook, everybody. Oh, I love that social media. I love that social media. It gets me totally terrible. Yeah, bony time, bony bone. Yeah. Wait, can I do like, I'm sorry, everyone who's listening. Can I give like a little plug for something? And I swear they only get the bravo. I'm really sorry. I know people hate it. But someone actually messaged us this week. She wanted to know my Uber code because she wants to be a driver. And so I want to, I know this is terrible, but I'm going to give my Uber code out because you can get $150. I'm sorry, you can get $150 if you sign up. If you want to be a driver, the code is MB3JD. That's it. It's over. All right, then. So there you go. There's your new career, everybody. There's your new career, $150 in the pocket. You're going to give yourself too much competition. Yeah, well, good. I am, okay, let's start with Beverly Hills because there's this stuff on our page, actually, about how Kyle did steal her house. Do you know what this is? Could you explain it? Because now it's making my head spin because after watching the show, I'm like, oh, they didn't steal your house. They paid you for your part of it. So how did they steal it? And now everybody's saying that they did steal it. So Sidney Charlotte wrote on our Facebook page, a very long comment. And since she put all the time into writing this comment, I might as well read it because it has to do with this. So Sidney said, this is a repost from a comment. Okay, so she said how stealing isn't easy people. I have been a title examiner for over 20 years for real estate. When someone dies, you have probate. You have probate judges rule on everything and orders a summary administration which puts the people entitled to the property in title. If they bought out Kathy and Kim, they both would have to sign over. Quick claim deeds to Kyle and Reese, or whatever intuitive they hold title in. These properties are going to be insured and mortgaged. So basically the point is this. Not that doesn't make sense to me, but it's like you don't just have the household out from under you. It's like that's a process. You have probably many chances to object. Oh, and then Sidney has a theory. My bet is Kim has forgotten more than she would care to admit since she admits nothing. Well, all of these docs have to be notarized and properly witnessed, or they are ruled invalid. It is pretty hard to steal anyone's property, maybe when she was back on the prairie that happened, but it is pretty hard and Kyle is not that smart. Kathy is not that dumb. And Maurice would be out of a job if he was involved in any fraud taxes, having to pay doc stamps at the courthouse, etc. I would love to see the documents on all this, but it is in California and I'm in Florida. No access, but there's my thoughts on the subject. Sidney, thank you very much. Menalette said Cindy showed me this clip. It seems like Kim borrowed 20,000 from Kyle and Mauricio against the house, but when she wanted to pay the 20k back, they wouldn't take her check. That house is in no way only worth 60k, 20k for each daughter. Kathy probably got a lot more than 20k when she sold her one third to Kyle and Mauricio, so it seems like they did take advantage of Kim. I wouldn't put it past them. It also explains why Kathy seems closer to Kim than Kyle and seems to protect Kim from Kyle. Right. I mean, I think probably the truth is somewhere in between both of these comments, you know? Like, yes, Kim probably had many chances to stop whatever she claims happened, but there probably was some shiftingness too. Okay, well, that's fair, because for me, it just seems like Kim's a total loony tune, and when Kyle called her out during that fight, when Kim's like, "You didn't even give me a chance and I didn't even know till this house was an s-crouch." She's like, "Your daughter was on the listing with my daughter and you... I have to cancel checks, dumb shit." And then Kim's like, "You lied! You lied!" But by the way, this also underscores why... That means to be a ringer this month, by the way. I pity the poor person who puts that on their phone in a public space. Obviously, I'd be like, "Is there a chicken squawking around here?" But this also gets back to why I love the real house as Beverly Hills, and why I'm loving this season, because first of all, the stuff is real. Like, this is real shit between these sisters, just as it was season one and some of the other seasons. And also, I mean, how great... This is this house thing for it to resurface... Is this the fifth season or something like that? Yeah, to resurface at the end of the fifth season when it was brought up at the end of the first. I mean, it's kind of amazing, and it doesn't feel like it's a manipulation or anything. It's like, this is some deep shit that is haunting these sisters, and will keep them from ever being the sisters that they want to be. Also, it's really seaworthy of Kyle to bring Kim to Palm Springs. He's like, "Let's talk about our issues in my new mansion in Palm Springs." You know, I know, although I have to agree with Shannon Smith McEwen, McEon, whatever. Sorry, Shannon, where she says, "That frickin' gorgeous new..." Uh-oh, Ben's gone. "Let's pray for Ben to return to the podcast, Ben. On my own, pretending you're beside me." I was just talking about Kyle's house about when our listener said, Shannon Smith McEwen said, "That frickin' gorgeous new house that Kyle bought. I would be down there every chance I could." I mean, it is a gorgeous house that she has. I have to give her credit for that. Yeah, oh, is that the end? Yeah, that is a gorgeous house. It really is beautiful, and I would just be staying there all the time. If that was my sister, don't be jelly, just get an extra key. Yeah, by the way, gorgeous house, also very cold and impersonal. Yeah, it's like one of those. They're like, it's faux painted. Yeah. Are we still doing that? I guess in Palm Springs, they're still doing that. But guys, let's stop faux painting, okay? They're like, "Hey, just get a sponge and paint the wax!" That's not how it works, all right? We're back to solids now. By the way, I also have to say, like, it is a... I mean, I think it's a beautiful house. I think it's one of the best houses that we've seen on the housewives. But when Kyle's like, "Yeah, well, you know, we have such a big family. It's just hard to find a house where we can all be together." I'm like, "Lady, I support you getting that house because you can afford it." And it's wonderful. But don't act like this was the only house that could fit your family of, like, six people. Like, people fit in much smaller houses. Just say that you got it because you had the money and you liked it. Hell yeah, it's way cheaper in Palm Springs than it is in LA. I mean, that house is way nicer than our Beverly Hills house. Yeah, of course, maybe it's because Faith didn't design it. Oh, God. Faith is... But I don't think you should be allowed to brag about your house because you're not that rich if you go stand out to look around and then you can see all the neighbors. Right. That means you're still middle-class, darling. And by the way, so Kim does not... She has some real resentment about this house. She's like, "The first let me invite me to this house to talk about that, whatever." I think Kim's got to get over that also, to be honest. Like, Kyle's allowed to have a house in Palm Springs. And you know that family's given so much money to Kim over the years. Kim hasn't made money since she was 12. You know that family's been taking care of her ass for years. Yeah. How about stop putting money into your devil dog and, yeah, into your nose and your devil dog and to chicken salad and put it into a jar for a house of your... And your Bentley lease or whatever the fuck you're driving now. Yeah. Does that... I don't need a family. I have Betty Davis's wig on trade, John. That's right. We never talked about that crazy story that Kim told about how she like trapped Betty Davis and was like, "I got ya." I was like, "That is a fucked up story." Yeah, Betty Davis murdered her. Yeah, exactly. All right, so we open this episode. Let's go back to the beginning. We open this episode. We're still in Amsterdam. They meet in some fucking flower shop, which I don't know why they needed to do that. And Brandy tries apologizing to Lisa and Lisa's like, "No, darling, I don't accept it. You need to grow up, blah, blah." And Brandy's like, "Hey!" And good for Lisa, by the way. Good for Lisa, because, you know, that's... I mean, that's what Brandy's whole MO is, that she does something and then she apologizes and gives you... It's like I was just kidding me. What? It's about time that Brandy like... Brandy got some tough love. You can only... You only say I'm sorry so many times. And Kim's like... "It was a joke. I mean, what the heck? It was just a joke, guys." Yeah, well, I'm sure... I'm sure she wouldn't be saying the same thing if Lisa Rinna made a joke about her sobriety. Yeah, if someone said, "Hey, Kim, you thirsty?" She'd be like, "Oh, yeah, Gary, you!" "What the..." "Keep it out of your mouth. Keep mine out of your mouth." "Yeah, keep it out of your mouth." When she talked to Adrienne later in the episode, which Adrienne Maloof, I mean, someone actually commented on our Facebook page or on the recap comment. But someone said, "Adrienne, Brandy is making Adrienne Maloof's face look normal." Which is true. Like, I don't know if it's just that you get used to Adrienne's face because we've seen it so long and it's been sanded down so much. But it just looks so nice now. It does. Soft enough. Yeah, it's, you know, divorce looks good on her. I think it's like when you pass those gargoyles at the library every day, they just start looking less scary because you get used to seeing them. But Brandy's face gets scarier because it just keeps changing. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And then, like, on top of that, Brandy's face didn't even have to change in the first place because she was really pretty to start with. Well, I wouldn't go that far. I... Listen, I can't stand Brandy, but I'm not going to take that away from her. I think she has a rat face. She has a rat face. You know, I think once you push it up... Just like little beady eyes and, like, these puckered lips. Well, they're beady now because she's given herself, like, plastic surgery-sty eyes, you know? Like, I have a Brandy Glendale eye going on myself right now. But I think when she first popped up on the scene, her cheeks weren't as full of filler, and I thought that she was... I thought she looked great. She needs to be in one of those hamster balls, just running in the house, like, bumping into things, and then changing directions. And then apologizing to the wall. Like, I'm sorry. What? I was kidding! I'm so sick of everybody else getting a bump in whatever once they won. But when I do it, I'm an asshole! My dad's dying! Why is it that when I pee in the hamster ball, everyone gets mad at me. But Lisa really could be wherever she wants the hamster ball. Um, the thing is this with Brandy, like, just to get back to that apology thing. So she offers Lisa some flowers. And I think if it were, it would have been the first time, Lisa would have accepted it. But, you know, it's, again, this is a pattern with Brandy, is that she does something brash, she does something rude, or she takes something too far, and then apologizes at her, and she doesn't think before she speaks, right? So, Lisa is like, no, like, this is not good enough. And then Brandy gets this, like, pissed off look on her face, like, fine. Like, I apologize, and you're being me. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da. And she later on is saying to someone, like, you know, well, Lisa wasn't ready to apologize, and I totally get that. I get that. And it's fine. It's her right. I'm like, don't say that, Brandy, because you actually don't get it. And you don't think it's her right, because you're now going to be mad at Lisa, because she rejected you. Yes. Well, now let's go to Brandy's blog, because listening to her talk about, let's see, apologies between Lisa V and I seem to be forever ongoing and super one-sided. Lisa V finally admitted on Twitter, no less that she did know Sheena, but as her daughter Pandora's friend, for three years before I met Lisa, that's her only daughter living at home and socializing with her good friend Sheena, hanging out, swimming, eating, whatever, and talking about boyfriends, Sheena's happened to be my then husband. Finally, the truth. Then Lisa V tweeted again, clarifying that she had been Sheena's friend for five years. How many times have I personally, and you've heard Lisa V, god damn it, Brandy. How many times have I heard personally, and you've heard Lisa V say she's just an employee, and she's not my friend, and I don't know her. Thanks for finally admitting that a year later on Twitter. I found it all out a year ago, as I've said numerous times, and you wonder why her friendship was up. Bitch, listen up, and listen closely. She knew her way before she knew you. Do you understand? She did not bring some girl into your life to torture you. She already knew her. What does that have to do with you? And why would that piss you off? Your husband was the one who fucked some whore. Not, you know, stop, just stop. It's annoying, it makes no sense. Your anger makes no sense at this point. Exactly, and like, you know, Brandy's stopped being like, such a strict interpretation of all these things. You know what, I think when Lisa says I don't know her, she means like, well sure, I know who she is. She's my daughter's friend, or she's my employee, but I'm not like, you know, I'm not like friends with her. You know, it's just so ridiculous that Brandy, and what you said is so correct. I mean, focus the rage at Eddie Cibrian. Don't focus on it. I mean, she knows like, the fact that you could even let someone like Sheena get under your skin is so ridiculous. I mean, how dare you make Sheena look like the better person in this situation? You know, if you make us root for Sheena. No kidding, your husband was off fucking some 20-year-olds. Like, who wouldn't? Like, if I was 20 years old and Eddie Cibrian wanted to fuck me and he was married, I'd totally do him. Who cares? Like, I would even think twice about it. That ain't my husband. If anything, take pity on Sheena, because Sheena was sold like a book of lies, or I don't know what the expression is, sold a bill of goods, or something like that. The point is this, Sheena thought she was going to go off and have a whole life with Eddie Cibrian, and she didn't. So, because she was young and naive and stupid, and Brandy should stop looking at Sheena as if she's some like black widow figure, and just get over it, you know? Enough. Yeah, I agree, enough. Enough is enough. She's just trying to come up with anything to hold against somebody else, and it's not going to work, lady. It's over, and you can't try and be someone's friend after you knew that they already knew this girl, and then suddenly use it years later, because you need a storyline. Shut up, Brandy. Just shut up. And you know, you should also be soft towards Sheena, because you have one thing in common, and that's the same strain of herpes. All right, it's like a hug. That's like an STD hug. Take your turn around in her chair right now and cry. But it's all a joke, sorry, just kidding. So, this is back to Brandy's blog. So, cut to Kyle, showing her newest real estate purchase and palm springs. Kyle has decided the best possible place to talk to her sister is in the enormous multi-million dollar house she just bought from selling her and Kim's shirts of their deceased mother's house. This always confuses me. If Kim was not of the mind to enter into business at the time, it looks like Kyle took advantage of her. If she was, it looks like a fast one was pulled. Clearly, Kim is still unhappy about whatever transpired, and Kyle is hiding something. Wasn't this the family house that Kim worked and paid for as a child star? Anyway, ask Kim, not me, but don't ask Kyle unless you're a gossip cider magazine. Kyle's been giving tons of interviews about her sister lately, even though they haven't talked in many months. But file that under keeping Kim's private life private. Right, Kyle? Again, you don't know what the fuck you're talking about. That house was owned by Kathy, their mother, and even if Kim did pay for in the fucking 60s or whatever, it was not worth anything near what this multi-million dollar house was worth. Hey, Palm Springs, you can get a house for a couple hundred thousand dollars in Palm Springs, okay? Yeah. Also, by the way, Mauricio has like a very successful real estate agent in Los Angeles. He didn't just use that money, please. I don't think, yeah, like, it's exactly, you know, just because he's on a reality show on Bravo, doesn't mean that he's also, that he's not incredibly successful. I mean, if you read Curbed LA, and you read, you know, his name pops up all the time with things that, like, the deals that go down. I mean, when you broker some of these huge sales, as he has done, you get like a hefty commission. I mean, this is-- Well, he owns the company now. Yeah, well, he has his own company now. And what's it, isn't called the company, right? Or the agency. But the thing is that, I agree with what you're saying, that this house was not bought with him, with him, you know, $20,000 or whatever. It's like a zillion dollar house, okay? And stop being mad at people because they have jobs. And get over it, too, by the way. Like, it's a house. I understand there's like, memories associated with it, whatever, but you don't remember anything anyway, because you were high. Yeah. Yeah. That's my nice, insensitive way of dealing with it. Anyway, yeah, this is a lot of brandy stuff, but mostly it's because I started on her blog and the whole episode revolved around what an ass brandy's being, and refused this to just say she's sorry. It's just so old. And Kim doesn't even know what the hell's going on still. So she's just mad because Brandi told her to be something. [SINGING] Like what? I'm just, yeah. What are you mad about now? Exactly. Well, I like Karen Donaldson, Zara Wits, who said, "How completely normal it is to assuage your sadness "that your father's hospitalization "by getting a $24,000 official." And the fact that YOLI is going to kill herself, if she keeps getting an environment, four drops at a strip mall spot. [LAUGHTER] Which is so bad, that's basically what happened, in terms of Brandi, after all this happened. Her dad has like had three black guys in a row, his heart's failing, and she goes and gets a facial instead of going up Sacramento. Well, at least she cried during it. Yeah, she did. That's, she definitely did. Playing the victim card. Um, now that we're talking about playing the victim card, I do have to say, this Lisa Vanderpump thing, enough. I think Lisa's a little overdoing it there. She's like, darling, I was assaulted. I've never felt so assaulted in my life. It's like, blah, blah. Ken, darling, I don't feel right about it. It's like shut up. You know she was kidding. Yes, it's never okay to slap somebody. I get it, but enough already, okay. Just, it's like for that movie, The Ref, on Christine Baranski's like, "See that cross up there? "Why don't you crawl up there and nail yourself to it?" [LAUGHTER] Calm down, Lisa Vanderpump, okay? She didn't beat the shit out of you. She just like playfully slapped you. But she's been saying that though, but you know, Lisa has said that it wasn't like, it didn't hurt or anything. She said it, she was trying to be playful, but that it's still crossed the line. So it's not like she's totally-- She was like the show. She's not doing the brand thing. She said that outside of it, but you know, she says after two scenes of whining about it, where she's like, "It's not like Tyson punched me "to the ground and knocked me out." But I still felt violated. And in her blog, she's like, "I had to go to the bathroom and cry "because I've never felt so violated." I was like, really? If that's the most violated you've ever felt, you're the luckiest fucking person alive, no matter how much money you have. Oh yeah, I'm not going to argue with that. That's very true. But at the same time, this is also, you know, if you're comparing it all to Brandi, who when she was escorting, came out of Eileen Davidson's house, like Kyle pushes her on her hand of the way, and then Brandi's like, "You assaulted me. "You like, you slapped my hand. "You hurt my hand." You hit people in public. I forgot, I was scratched up. I had to go get bandages. Brandi didn't even qualify that. No, and she's still doing that. She's still doing that with this trip, where she's like, "Lisa Rinna can throw a glass at somebody "and cover them with my glass." - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. - That's because Lisa Rinna was trying to be, was trying to reach out to Kim, and Kim got nasty, and then hit way below the belt. That's the difference. That's why people don't get mad. - Kim was like, "I gotta cut him up through. "I must throw his bleeding out, "sucking the wine out of my dress, "and I got a glass shard in there. "I'm suing you." Let's see here, they all talk about the sex stuff. Blah, blah, blah. Oh my God, Yolanda's speech. Okay, Yolanda, sitting at the head of the table at a dinner does not mean you need to give a speech every fucking time, Yolanda. It's like, "Hello, welcome to the dinner." I love these canals because these are the first time that I ever heard a song produced by my lovely David. David's my love. Thank you so much for everything you do for me and taking care of my terminal disease from that take. David, thank you for the time you put a lemon in my water. It was the first time I ever felt bad. Oh David, I don't think so. - It's like, it's like, I imagine you're at McDonald's, everyone's just there on like a rest stop on a dry upstairs from Cisco. She's like, "I just want to take a moment "before we dig into our Happy Meals and Big Max. "I just want to give a toast to David, you know, "because fast food reminds me of David "because we fell in love so fast, you know, "and it was so deeply satisfying "that I just want to say that when I think about David, "I think about how fast our courtship was "and how slow I want to take it from here." - Yeah, and after all that fast food, you feel so good and you feel so in love and then you just feel so unhealthy for the rest of the marriage. - I feel like where every time I have a Happy Meal, I think about how happy that David makes me each and every day and how I want to give him a little toy. - Like welcome to the McDonald's drive-through. Can I help you? - I would like a number one with a side of David, my love, who is one 16 grammy, he's there on top of the piano. Also, I would like to thank the tenors and the basement and I would like to send them a hamburger toy. - I would like to also a David Foster meal. I'm sorry, what is that? Oh, you know it because David Foster's my number one, so basically I ordered a big mac because that's the number one. - I would like to order a number three, the quarter pounder meal in honor of Ben Vereen. - Because Ben Vereen is the quarter pounder and I'm going to smash him down in my car. - I would like to order a David Foster meal part two, which is of course the chicken tenders because it's very tender to me. He's my chicken tender. I'd like to order also a, I want to order, I'd like to order also a fish fillet and dedicate that I want to Anwa because he is my favorite fish fillet. He is like the fish fillet. He is like that thing that comes around once a year that people think sounds pretty gross but they kind of eat it anyway. - I would like to order the McRib for Gigi because she only ate a half almond yesterday and I can see her rib. Also, I would like to order the two cheeseburgers meal for Bella because you can be the second cheeseburger but never be as good as the McRib. - The cheeseburgers don't equal one McRib, poor girl. - I would like to order a McDLT for Bella in that, you know. - A McDLT. - I would like to get to a McDLT because it's this thing that should be really pretty that's going to get discontinued. - Oh my God, the McDLT. - I would then like to order an Archilox for Bella as well. (laughing) - I'd like to order a McPizza for Bella. - That is not a thing. - It was the thing in the northeast and the mid 90s, just like Bella is today. I think that would go away. - Into 90s. Oh my God, a McPizza? - Yeah. - I saw somebody at Subway ordering one of the Subway pizzas the other day and I was so grossed out by them. Like as a human being, I was like, "You're gross." - Oh, I didn't mean, maybe it's good, I don't know, but I was like super judgmental over it. I was like, "You're a disgusting human being. "I don't wanna know you." - Let's see what else happened here. Brandy's dad's dying, Adrian Maloof. I love that Adrian Maloof, Kim's like, "Amen, you wouldn't believe it." Once she did to me. Then they're talking about me at dinner and I flipped out and then Kyle left and I was like, "Back home, join your new friend." Yeah, what do you think of that? - Adrian's like, "I think you should have followed Kyle." Talked about it. And then Kim's just like completely silent, like looking around, like, "Who made me come here?" - No. - By the way, the whole Palm Springs thing, it wound up like that they wound up getting to fight over the house, but when Kyle mentioned the fact to Kim that Brandy was saying that there should be an intervention, you know, Kim, that was sort of like that kind of got lost in the fray with all the house stuff. I wonder what Kim really thought about that. - Kim didn't say anything, she ignored it at first and then later she said, "Yeah, that's just true. "It's gonna break my heart." - And Kim has not written a blog since that episode where Brandy was on the beach, you know, talking shit about her. And the last tweet that, one of the last tweets that she'd written before that episode was, "Brandy's my BFF and I don't care what anybody says "and we're still close and we're, you know, "still talking every day and blah, blah, blah." And then I guess she saw that and realized that it was all true. - Yeah. - So that's pretty sad. She hasn't written her Bravo blog. She hasn't sent a tweet. She's basically like just giving up on life pretty much. - It's interesting that Bravo made it seem like that big fight where she says, "You lie, you lie. "It was about Brandy, but it wasn't about Brandy at all. "It's about the house." - Yeah. - Yeah, stupid Bravo, yeah. - These sisters are fucked. And again, I blame the mom. - Yeah, I mean. - Also, you see their ridiculous relationship when it's like, "You lie, you lie!" And then it's like, "How come I love you?" Or, "Sick, you know, we have these problems, Kyle. "I mean, we're sisters, okay, hugs." - And it's like, they're just so used to being toxic that it's like, "Scream, scream, hug, hug, the end." - Yeah. Well, when they hug, it's like, everything is solved. I mean, these, and it's not solved. I don't know. I mean, I think that Kyle actually made it. I think I fairly poignant point. I think it was Kyle who said that, like, she just doesn't think that they'll ever be, the sisters that they want to be. They love each other, but they can't be the sisters to each other that they want to be, which is kind of a very sad. - Neither one of them, I mean, they're both too selfish. - Yeah. They are. - One of my favorite pictures is Kim giving Paris Hilton face in the mirror, though. I have to say that, loved it. - Oh gosh, Paris Hilton looks like she'll be on next week on the season finale, so sad. - Oh, I know. And it's all coming to a head. That looks good. - That's a proper fun. - Yeah, it looks like it'll be really good. I can't wait for this reunion. This reunion is gonna be just amazing. I can't wait to see Brandi get called on all her shit, and then she's gonna, I look at victim again. - We're gonna hear a lot of this from Brandi. (imitating babbling) Once she gets mad, she starts sounding like Dino from the Flintstones. - Yeah. (laughs) - We're gonna hear a lot of that. Kyle's gonna be screaming at everybody and pointing her crooked man hands at everybody. - Yeah, yeah, they'll be that. - Eileen's gonna just give soap opera look while having nothing to say, except-- - Eileen and Lisa will be great, I feel like Lisa Renee. I think they will do very well on this reunion. - I think, Eileen, really, what's she gonna say? You're a drunk over and over again. I mean, she hasn't really done much else. I've enjoyed it for the most part, but I'm kinda getting sick of her, like, in her creepy Malibu home with her son. Like, that's weird, I don't know, do something. When I'm used to you on days, like, I don't know, I need to see her be more of a villain. I can't just see her being like a nice one. - I like how she is. What about, what about Brandi going on this date with that guy in Amsterdam? She didn't go to the dinner, she said one on a date. - She went on a date with some bus boy that Max knew? I mean, what the hell? - Yeah, I mean, the guy was hot for sure. - Well, yeah, it's like 23. Who's not hot when they're 23? - True. - Well, I guess a lot of people-- - Trust nicely, too. - I guess a lot of people. But still, you're the hottest when you're 23. So listen, if you're 23 out there and you feel ugly, who cares? Go fuck a lot of people anyway, 'cause it's the hottest you're ever gonna be. - Oh, I wish I knew that. - Oh, me too. I would have just had such a better time. But I still think that today. I'm like, sure, I'm aging. I may be not be where I wanna be in life, but it's only gonna be worse tomorrow. So I'm gonna enjoy what I have now. Maybe I have a few wrinkles. They're gonna be worse tomorrow. Right now is the youngest I'm ever gonna be again, darling. - That really took us to a special place. - That's me a bus boy. - Yeah. - All right, let's change shows. - Yay. - I'm closing the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Window. Goodbye, darling, gay wedding. Oh, can we talk about the gay wedding where the grooms were named like Dominic and Mango. Come on, gay people. - I know. - Let's stop naming each other Fruits. Okay, naming ourselves after Fruits. Like, that's a little too on the nose. - Yeah. - Okay, that was it. Real Housewives of Atlanta, darling. - Let's do, yeah, 'cause this was a good episode. - This was so good. - I actually took notes on this one. - Real Housewives of Atlanta has been, I just have loved it all season. I think it's been a good season. - It's been a good season. - But this episode got me fired up. I haven't been this fired up since earlier this season when Claudia Jordan read Nini. And once again, Nini was the reason why I got fired up. First of all, Nini's wig. I loved that someone wrote a comment on our page. I forget who, I'm sorry. But someone wrote a comment being like saying how, I love how we all give Nini the benefit of the doubt that her ridiculous wig had something to do with Cinderella. And then when found out that she was just wearing that wig 'cause she was just wearing that wig. Wow. I mean, it was like a bride of Frankenstein meets a troll doll situation. I don't know what she was worst. That wig or her weird sea wig. - So I am criticizing people 'cause it seems like everybody's on drugs, but doesn't Nini seem like she's on drugs? - No, I think the only drug she's on is like the drug of narcissism. I think she's just totally deranged. I don't know, she's, I think she's awful. - Yeah, she is awful, but she seems to be, I mean, I get bipolarism and all of that stuff, but she just seems to be too crazy to not be on something 'cause she doesn't even seem to remember half the shit that she said. - Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if she were bipolar, although, you know, not to diagnose to follow Dr. Jeff or whatever his name was, but she really is like, it's like, you never know what side you're gonna get with her. It's crazy. - So let's stop, where would you like to stop being? - Well, why don't we talk with Phaedra being mad at Candy? - Okay, so this started at Portia's house with Portia cooking with her new blonde hair, her new Beyonce hair. - Yeah, yeah. - This scene was really funny, just because both those women, I think, are really funny. - Yeah. - Unlock your imagination with Audible when you listen to audio content in your mind as free to paint the scenes and feel the emotions of a great story. 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That's audible.com/crapins or text crapins to 500-500. - This episode is sponsored by DoorDash. - We're back to tell you more about the latest dash pass annual plan benefit, stream max with ads included at no extra cost. - You know what's a great night for us? Ordering DoorDash and cuddling up to watch the max original hacks. - Which one, best comedy, deservedly so, and we love tuning in to see not only icon Gene Smart, but the wonderful and incomparable Rose Abdu, who also is a huge Bravo fan. - Listen, I'm always in the mood for hacks, but you never know what kind of food I'm in the mood for. Sometimes it's pizza, sometimes it's a salad, and I can get both with DoorDash. - How about some ice cream? That's what I like to eat with my hacks. - 100% I will double dash. I will get a salad and then double dash some ice cream, why not? - Sign up for a dash pass annual plan and get max included at no extra cost. It's your door to more. - Max has now included with your dash pass annual plan. Stream max with ads up to $120 value included at no extra cost. - Terms apply, see DoorDash.com/maxfor details. - And then they start talking about Cynthia and all the problems with Candy. - First of all, Cynthia is a total asshole now. Now, how do you think this happened? You think it's just because Peter? - Peter, I think that she decided that she won. I think it's a few things. Peter, the influence of Peter, I think it's the general influence of Atlanta. I think Atlanta eventually makes people be ridiculous. I think part of it is, I think that liberation from Nini, I think she has this false sense of empowerment or whatever, and she's acting out in this strange way. And I think it's also, she probably wants to save a spot for herself on the show. - Well, what do you think about the stuff with, what do you think about the stuff with Fadra and Candy? - Well, I think this is a situation where people have gotten into Fadra's ear. I think it's a little, they're wrong on both sides. I feel like I can see Candy being the type that suddenly just disappears, and I can see that being frustrating. But I can also see that you have someone like Nini, and then you have like Portia, like in Fadra's ear, more than happy to turn her against Candy, you know? Like, I think, I don't think it doesn't seem like it was as bad as they made it sound like, but for sure, Candy is not innocent either. - Well, it's really Nini in her ear, turning her basically. - Yeah, really, yeah, for sure. - I mean, when Nini's calling you every day, Nini, for the first two years you were on this show, wouldn't even admit to knowing you, and called you a liar for even knowing each other. So now suddenly, Nini's being nice. You know whenever Nini's being nice to you, there's an ulterior motive. - Yeah. - In this case, I think it's just that she doesn't have a friend, and she needs somebody tough to like be friends with her. But yeah, I mean, I can see Candy being the type who just doesn't call you after she gets married to her midget, because, you know, it's a lot of fun to be had. You can toss him in bars, you can carry around Steppstools for him to play Miss Pac-Man in pizza places, there's a lot of fun to be had when you marry and midget. - A lot of fun. - Yeah, you can put him on your shoulders and go to an amusement park. - But I can't see Fager calling someone every day either to hang out or to be close. I don't see Fager being like, - Hey girl, how's it going with your play? Like Fager doesn't care about that. - Yeah, I mean, Candy, I do feel a little bad for Candy because that scene with her and Todd, when they're doing pros and cons, and Todd couldn't come up with a single pro for Candy, unless I was like-- - That's such a piece of shit, man. - God, I hope she just leaves him. - Yeah, I mean, how about, here's a pro, how about you-- - He's such an arrogant little fuck. What is it? What is it with the fucking little man complex? He's so arrogant. And he's still mad about the preen up and he's still mad about Mama Joy. He's still mad about all this shit. You shouldn't have gotten married, you little idiot. It's like, he got one little show, and now he thinks he's a baller and he doesn't need her anymore. And it's really sad. Like every scene that Candy's in, it's like, pull out the umbrella 'cause it's about to range shit down on your head. - Yeah, I mean, the fact that he couldn't come with a pro is such bullshit. So awful, so nasty. I mean, I felt really bad for Candy. She gets trampled on. - She does, and she surrounds herself by abusive people because she just wants to get trampled on. - Yeah, that being said, that being said, when she and Phaedra had their sit down and Phaedra was like, you weren't there for me. And then Candy was like, well, see? - Yeah, I had, my mother was both close and see. That was like me, me too. - I was like, okay, I get it. It is hard to tell people that they're out of work, but I don't know, I think at that moment, at that moment, it wasn't Candy's, it should not have been Candy's moment to say, hey, you weren't there for me when I played as close when Phaedra was going through a major family crisis. And Candy did acknowledge-- - Yeah, but like, I think the behind the scenes stuff is Phaedra knows her husband's a criminal. I mean, do you really think it's a coincidence that Apollo happened to get caught the minute he started giving Phaedra attitude on TV? Like, I think that the minute that he turned on Phaedra on national TV and was disrespecting her and talking about how he was dropping $8,000 on strippers and it's his right, because he's money. - No, no, no. And then he happens to get arrested. Phaedra's not stupid, she know what he's doing and whether or not she had any part of it, which I totally think she did, but whether or not she had any part of it, she knew what he was up to and I don't think it's any coincidence that he happened to get caught and she's totally free of any kind of prosecution. - I mean, I don't know, it's a fun conspiracy theory and if it were true. I wouldn't be surprised if it were true, but I have no idea if it is true. 'Cause it is still a little process. - I just can't feel too sorry for Phaedra. Like, I can't be like, oh, poor Phaedra, her husband is going to jail because she wanted his ass gone and now he's gone. Like to me, it's like, wow, girl, you got exactly what you wanted, good for you. I don't think like poor Phaedra at all. - What probably happened was that Candy probably, she said that she thinks that the kids should be able to visit Apollo and Phaedra probably iced her out and Candy was like, okay, I've said my piece and I know not to touch this area. So therefore, that's what I assume happened. - And then all the guys were still friends which probably pissed Phaedra off too 'cause the guys were still hanging out together. - I believe that Candy probably could have been a better friend, but I also believe that Candy seems like an inherently good person and that if she didn't, if she wasn't reaching out to Phaedra, there's probably some reason why she wasn't, aside from the fact that mothers love closed. But by the way, I love-- - And I think the only one on this show that I think is genuinely a nice, good girl. - Yeah, and I love, but I do, I love watching Candy Cry Talk. It is the funniest thing. - I can't trust Phaedra. (laughing) - I just don't know, I just don't know about you. I have to talk about the people who are like, "Why are you talking to me?" Like, I would never talk to Nini about you. (laughing) - It's like that, it's gross. - Yeah. (laughing) (laughing) (laughing) I wonder, can people actually understand what I'm saying? Or do I just sound like a bunch of sounds? 'Cause I know what I'm saying. But I'm like, I just sound like I'm just coming in and out. Like, (laughing) - I love Candy, I love all of them. - But I love Phaedra too, I think she is shady-fay-fay, but I really like her and I like her stupid one-liners when she's like, "Now, I don't know why Cynthia's "so mad at me, we've always been supportive of her. "My mother orders from the plus-size catalog "that she modeled for." - Yeah, I love that. I also love them like that. I do love that when Phaedra ponders out loud that she's like, she doesn't know why she and Candy have grown so distant. I'm like, you don't know, it's like, it's almost as if there were some, like, there's someone pulling the strings, like some sort of like, quote-unquote, "producer" who is behind it all, who is orchestrating us all. I wonder, I wonder why that all happened, why they had to fight it. - Yeah, okay, so next I had the Candy and Todd pros and cons thing that was so sad. She's like, what about pros are you're beautiful, you're charming, you're wonderful. He's like, your pros are, can we talk about this later? - It's like, your pros are, I don't know, I'm gonna go out to the room. - What about a man? - I don't know, I got to work on Mahalo adivos now. - That was sad. Okay, even sad are Claudia's stand-up. - Yeah. - I love Claudia, she's one of my favorite people on the cast. I think she's like, very funny when she reads Nini, but it just doesn't always translate to the stand-up for Aya. - She's like, you know, all the men get to be funny and the women just don't get to be funny. I'm like, it's not that they get to be funny, it's that they are funny. It's not an allowing thing. Like, no one from the radio station is gonna be like, okay, Claudia, you're free to be funny now and suddenly you're gonna be funny, okay? - Yeah. - Portia's funny on there. - But she would never be able to stand up. - No, but she's funny on that show. She's funny on this nation. Have you ever seen her on that? - I try not to. - She's, yeah, it's best to avoid it, but I've watched a couple of times or seen clips and they showed it and she's really funny. I mean, most of it is because she's really stupid, but she's legit funny on there. I actually like Portia more now on the show because I know that she's funny in real life. But there are different ways to be fun. People, you have to sort of know your lane when you are trying to be funny and, you know, like stand up. Like, there was actually a period of time, like, I don't know, like 11 years ago when I thought, whoo, maybe I'll be a stand up comedian. And then someone told me like, no Ben, you will not be good at it because it's like-- - Wow, nice friend. - Well, yeah, take a guess who it was. But, you know who, if you think about it, you can figure out who probably told me this. But he was like, listen, you know, to be-- to do stand up requires a certain kind of type of like timing and, I don't know, like you have to just be-- you just have to-- it's a different type of comedy and it's just not my strongest suit. And so I never did it. Admittedly, I'm upset that I never-- that I didn't do it because I would have rather done it and failed at it and been like, oh, I'm never doing that again rather than just like take this guy's, like, just follow what this guy said blindly. But the truth is, I actually think he's right too. If that makes sense. - No, there's all different kinds. There's all different kinds of timing, you know? There's all different kinds of funny. Most of it is just when you're needy enough that you need the approval of others from their laughter. It just takes desperation. It takes a certain desperation, you know? So, I mean, if I'm confident in life and everything's going, well, I just don't do stand up, you know? But then when I'm feeling miserable and I feel the need to be laughed at by random people and, you know, talk about how pathetic I am in front of a group of people then I do it and that's great. - Yeah. - Works out great, guys. - Yeah, I think right now, the only time I ever think about maybe doing stand up is when I go to a really bad comedy show and I think, huh, I think I could probably do this better than them. And then I think maybe I should be a stand up and then afterwards I'm like, no, I don't want to be a stand up. - Oh, yeah, it's kind of a pain in the ass. It's a sad life, you know? But I love that stand up that was talking to Claudia and she's like, how she was describing the difference between the black and the black clubs. - Oh, yeah. - She's like, at the black clubs, we're like, ah, I think the white clubs are like, oh. - I know, I mean, it's hard, I mean, to be fair, she also had a tough situation, which is that she only had one person in the audience, which was Demetria, but still, no. - Yeah, Demetria's just giving her that dirty look the whole time. - Demetria's like, okay, since I started this, do I get to be a full cast member now? - Nope. - Nope. - So we're talking about all this dumb shit. When the big thing of the day was the Neenie therapy session. - Attack Neenie Day. - Yeah, attack Neenie Day. - What do you think? - I got, I was really riveted. I like, I was really, really into it. I thought Dr. Jeff was actually doing a really good job, much better than Andy Cohen ever does. But it was so massively frustrating because, you know, the long and the short of it was that like, all the women had an issue with Neenie. And Neenie just didn't want to hear it. Even though she called everyone there and told everyone to be open, she didn't want to hear it. And she did the classic thing that these housewives always do, which is to say, I didn't realize it was gang up on Neenie Day, so I'm gonna leave. Well, it wasn't gang up on Neenie Day. It just so happens that everyone has an issue with you. And if you would just like sit and listen. - Neenie is the cause of every single issue that you can bring up in that group. Every single one, there's not one you can bring up that that bitch does not have a hand in. - Exactly, and when Dr. Jeff was like, I am like an observer, but I'm also going to represent the group. And Neenie is like, well, first of all, you can't represent the group, okay? 'Cause you don't know me like that. (laughing) Neenie, that's not the attitude you're supposed to have. Like, don't be so fucking defensive. Just, it wasn't, he wasn't saying I'm gonna be you. He wasn't saying like, I'm in your head. I'm gonna speak for Neenie. He was saying, I can't even, I can't even, yeah. - The group, stupid, the group. - The group, stupid face. Oh my god. - The best part is when she says, Neenie finds the women to be negative. That was my favorite. When Neenie says she finds the other women to be negative. - I mean, even Kenya, Kenya is of course, the number one, like, shitster. - Yes, even more than Neenie, yeah, for sure. - But when Kenya was trying to describe her issues, you know, you know, again, Neenie was just, she just wasn't open to it. And I liked how Dr. Jeff would check the women when they were being sarcastic. He would tell them to like, change their delivery. And I was like, I was getting so into it. I was like, yes, like, talk it out for real. Let's get to this. But Neenie was like, she was just being the crazy moose that she is, and of course, eventually stormed out. - Yeah, just like she always does. Walk away, bitch. Just like she did on The Apprentice. She's like, you're being nice to Star Jones to not me, bye. - Yeah, by the way, I like to own our Facebook page, Alfonso Lecong, Lecong. When he goes, what kind of therapy session offers food? I noticed Candy was happy about that. Oh, did Portia make hamburger helper for her for Phaedra? (laughing) - And they're all drinking wine. - Yeah, I mean, that was awesome. That's how to have therapy right there. - Yeah. - Something happens with Real Housewives of Atlanta with me, where it's one of my favorite housewives shows, but when it comes to talking about it, I really don't ever have that much to say about it. I think because the women on it are so vocal, and they're not passive aggressive, like the white housewives' housewives, where it takes a whole season for them to say something. On this show, they just get in front of each other's faces and they say it, and I laugh the whole time. So I don't have as much to make fun of on these shows, but I love this show. - Yeah, I thought that the therapy session was really great. I could watch an hour of the Atlanta women, or at least Nini in this therapy session. I just, it's so frustrating how she can call the woman together under the guise of being in a place of self-reflection and wanting to heal things, and yet she's just unwilling to take any responsibility in her parts of these things. - Yeah, she's in that case. - Because the truth is this, as much as you may hate Kenya or how bonkers as she is, she had a point, which was that they made up and the next time she saw her, she was, Nini was being nasty. Like, why can't Nini even own up to that? It's more than just that Nini needs time. Sure, she needs time, but why not get this friendship on the road to healing by giving her, at least a hug, hello back? - The problem is Nini's so crazy that when she was just ignoring her, her diary room sessions or whatever, she was like, well, I know we said we'd be friends, but I'm not gonna be friends with her now. You know, it's like, she's just so crazy that you can't apply logic to Nini. There's no logic, so it's almost pointless to talk about, 'cause you're just talking about someone being an asshole to keep their job, you know? Like, she's just being an asshole to keep her job. There's nothing you're gonna do about it. There's no fixing her because she's just being wrong on purpose to make money, you know? - Yeah, I guess I was just really hopeful that Dr. Jeff would be able to have some sort of breakthrough with Nini, and it's like- - He's too much of a wuss. - People are like, Nini is wrong, and he's like, Nini, what I think they're trying to say is that their feelings are maybe a little bit herded by the way that you were acting. She's like, you don't know me? He's like, well, Nini, now, in a sense, I don't know you, but in a sense, I know you very well because of your spiritual nature and the way that it interacts with the other ladies and they're in spiritual natures, like Manny's in a tuna salad. You don't know why it goes in there, it just does. It's like- - That out! - I don't even know what the hell he's talking about half the time. He just talks in a really nerdy voice so he can sound smart. - Yeah, well, the thing is that she, of course, went storming me out at the end. I don't think that she's gonna go back into the therapy session. I think she is actually gonna drive off. - Oh, well, and getting into the elevator with her. - He's like, Nini, now, Nini, here's what we're doing. You're gonna press the number on the elevator button and then it's going to move because it's a moving vehicle. Not like a car but something that goes up and down. After you press this, a door is gonna open and you're gonna be on the first floor, Nini. It's like, "Okay, Dr. Obvious, Jesus." (laughs) - It's just- - I don't- - Obvious in a little suit. - Get out of here. - I just hope that next week's episode, after Nini leads therapy, they just have like a whole session where they vent to Dr. Jeff about the way Nini is and he just confirms them. Yeah, you know what, she's just a crazy bitch. Sorry, everyone. - Yeah, that's the end of it. - Yeah. - That makes me very happy. - Yeah, and then let's talk about the issues between the other girls 'cause those are actually real, some of them, at least like the candy and Phaedra thing or the Claudia and, well, I guess she only has a Nini thing. The Kenya, hey, let's just have a one-on-one with Kenya for like five hours. - Oh God, be awful. She talked about her mom who doesn't believe that she exists. - Okay, so are we done with that? We've got a lot of shows today. - We are, we've got a lot of shows. - Yeah, we are done. - All right, then let's move on to the next show, which should be Vanderpump Drules, do you agree? - Sure, talk about, again, some people not owning up to their actions. We got Ms. Stasi. - Oh my God, this reunion was amazing watching them all rip Stasi apart. - Oh my God, and Stasi, like not understanding why she gets the brunt of it. This is like Brandy Glanville again. Like, these people, Brandy, Stasi, Nini, first of all, your names all end with an E sound, so I guess that's the common threat. But also like, you know, stop playing this like victim. You have to look at your behavior and when you ask, like, why am I the one who gets it, why am I? Like, there's a reason why you're the common denominator and look at your actions because it's like-- - 'Cause you're an asshole. - You're an asshole and like, sure, other people on the cast may do asshole things, but with you, it's like, it's a pattern. It's what you do every single week, in and out, so that's what happens. - Yeah, he's just being me. It's like Tom said. - The rest of us do it with heart, Kristin. - That was amazing. - But the way you do it, Stasi isn't, you're just mean, Kristin, Stasi, Stasi, Stasi, Stasi. Stasi, Stasi, Stasi. - God, Kristin, Stasi. - Well, to be honest, I think the biggest thing to come out of this hour was to learn that there was a sex tape. Stasi had a sex tape. - Oh, this was juicy. Okay, now Stasi's the one who brings us up. She's like, oh, you wanna know why I hate Shina? Do you really want me to bring it up? Like, she's threatening that it's gonna be something really mean about Shina, and Shina's kind of looking scared, you know, like, as much as she can move her face, but her, or she was just daydreaming, I don't know, but her eyes were really wide, and she was just like, bling, bling, bling, bling. - And she looked more scared than the time she thought the Olive Garden in Azusa was closing down. - She looked more scared than the time she thought that Benetton was out of crop tops. - She looked more scared than the time that she thought they took off potato skins from the elephant bar menu. - She looked more scared than the cameraman did who was behind her when she was wearing her crop dot dress and got her back fat flaps. - She looked more scared than the time that she thought there might be another Instagram wedding planner she could have chosen instead. - She looks more scared than the time she got her eyelash and caught in a ceiling fan. (laughing) - I'm sorry, I'm on the web page. (laughing) - Yeah, she looked terrified, and I'm thinking she's about to drop some huge info on Stassi, I mean, on Shina, and she goes, because she showed everyone this tape I was in and brings up the fact that there's a-- - That she has this sex tape. Her ex-boyfriend brought in, which I'm assuming was the guy we saw on season one, like that cheesy longer guy. - Yeah, whatever his name was. - That she was boning, and I guess she did like a solo sex tape. So it wasn't even a sex tape, it was just like a jerky jerk tape. - Yeah. - And he apparently came into a sur and showed everybody on his cell phone, and Stassi is like, "Huh, you should put that on TMZ." And then Stassi is like, "You're not a good friend." And then in a, and it turned into this huge thing where Stassi is like, "Oh my God, that's so disrespectful that you watched it." And then in a-- - Stassi, that's what people do with sex tapes. - Yeah, and by the way, if Sheena had a sex tape and Stassi had control of it, what's the very first thing she would do? She'd be like, "She would watch it, she would invite everyone over and she'd be like, "Oh my God, we're gonna look at this, I'm gonna laugh at it." - That bitch would have had that string into the Apple TV. - Yeah, meanwhile, you know about the other gossip about the sex tape, is that Lisa, almost at Lisa right now, Lisa Vanderpump paid off. - Yeah, she paid off the guy to delete it and not sell it to the tabloids. And Stassi knew that and it's still being a bitch to Lisa. - Yeah, and which is such a, I mean, to hear that, and Lisa, it's not even gossip, Lisa said it, she tweeted it, she said it on Twitter, which makes it truthful. But the fact that Lisa would do that for this wench, and then she would still be so ungrateful, just shows why Stassi gets all this shit thrown away. Same reason why Brandi and Nini get it because they're spoiled brats who, you know, don't deserve the good things that people do for them. - Yeah, and Lisa again, in this episode when she just told off Stassi, that was great. - Yeah. - She's like, "I've done nothing but try and help you. "You've done nothing but disrespect to me. "Piss off!" - Or whatever. - Yeah, that was beautiful. - At this point, it almost seemed as if horse face is more welcome than sir than Stassi. I mean, Lisa said like Stassi's like not welcome, she said the relationship's over, yada, yada, yada. And by the way, if Stassi thinks that sex tape is dead, is gone, you know, she's got another thing coming. It's gonna resurface. It's on, you know, if it's been made-- - Well, I think she's counting on it. She knows she's not gonna be back on this show. She doesn't have any other offers. She's gonna be doing a podcast. - Which we know, so no, I'm sorry. So that was disgusting, but you know, she's gonna, that's her new job is like doing a podcast. And I think she did it on purpose to get herself a little press. You know, she's gonna have that vagina all over the place and try and get some underwear contract or something. 'Cause she showed back up on the reunion, like way slim down. - Yeah, yeah, she did. She was a little more slim. And then she was like, "Can I wait to get out of this room? Is this like the most uncomfortable? I've been ever, like, shut up Stassi." - Yeah, shut up. I love Patricia Murdock said much, much, much too information when Santa Paul was describing what did or didn't happen with the Miami girl. - Oh yeah. - Even the Vanderpump sleeves balls are cringing. No easy task. That was funny. - Yeah. - He's like, "Gah, she said she was like on her period and then I had her prove it. Everybody here knows that I don't eat period pussy." Like, everyone's like, "Whoa, whoa." - First up, like, she's smelled like dailed bumblebee to another fish. And you know, I hate that croissant. (laughing) Like, when I was fingering her, it felt like I was sticking my finger into old French toast in the batter that had been put on the scot. I didn't like that filling croissant. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. - Whoa. - Whoa, whoa, whoa. - Oh, that was funny. Oh, Michael Cook said, "I loved what Christina awarded the reunion." Oh wait, that's just funny. That was the best part of the reunion that she didn't even get asked to guest. - As she wasn't even mentioned. Like, they didn't even mention the fact that, like, she was Dosties, like, her conspirators. - She wasn't even one of the people who came to hug everybody at the end. Like, when the whole cast came out at the end with a glass of wine to do a toast, I don't even think she was in that group. - Yeah, I just imagine Christina standing at a window somewhere, and there's, like, rain falling in the window, and Amy Mann is playing sadly while she has a hand up, and it's, like, music from Magnolia is playing, while Christina is watching everyone else from "Sir" on the reunion. (laughing) - That song was, "What is the love of these?" - I am looking through these comments really quick to see if we're missing anything, but it was kind of uneventful. It was the same thing over and over, but God, I love that show. I'm so sad it's over. - Yeah, well, I love that again. Horseface is, like, still trying to stand up for Stasi, trying to get in where she can't. And how about, there's a lot of stuff also with Tom and Katie, just a lot of annoying stuff. And you know what? Katie with Stasi is all the same stuff. - Yeah, I don't care about any of that stuff. We've already talked about the Azilian times. Bye! - Bye, man. - What was I gonna say? - I think the show's gonna have something new next week. They have a new episode listed next week, so I don't know if it's like they're-- - Secrets revealed. - Yeah, which I can't imagine what those secrets are. - Yeah. - Stacks is like, "Look, I have another genital wart." - Yeah, they're like, "Look, no one in this cast "washes their hands before returning to work." - Yeah. ♪ Huge secret revealed ♪ - All right, let's move on to what do you want to do next? - Well, we need Melbourne. The real "Hastwives of Melbourne." - Yeah. - This is probably the best show. Well, I don't know. I think right now Bravo's really killing it with everything we're covering, I think, has been very, very good this season. - Honestly, even I know you don't like Chas. I actually watch Chas. - I can't. - And it's good. It's so good. - It is? - So far it's been, I've been enjoying it. - All right, if I get really depressed and desperate, I'll catch up on it. - You still won't like it, but I'll say this for briefly. Like a little Chas interlude. There was like a really, like a good scene. Adam's strict like Midwestern, Oklahoma parents came and there was like a nice breakthrough with Adam and his dad. It was nice. It was like a nice moment on TV where the dad was like unaccepting of gay Adam, but it turns out he was actually pretty cool with it, so. - And he didn't, and Rutza didn't come in and crash at all? - Rutza was actually a facilitator towards this moment because what happened was they were having a little dinner. Reza and Adam and Adam's parents. And Adam was like, you were never there for me. You were never there for me. And like, you always cold, you always distant, and la, la, la, la, la, la, and the dad's like, well, it's funny 'cause none of my sons really talk to me that much. And Adam's like, well, why do you think that is? And Reza's like, "Hey, stop right." Like, you should be nice. He's trying to have a breakthrough with you. You should be nice to him. That's basically what it was. And then they hugged. And the dad was like, you know, I was hard, I was strict, I did a lot of things wrong, but I'm always on your side. And like, Reza's like, "Well, why don't you say I love you?" And he's like, "Well, that's hard for me to say, "but yeah, I'll say it, I love you. "I love you." And then Reza's like, "Well, why don't you hug your dad? "Hug your dad." And then they hugged. "Hug your dad, and then we can all look at my $35,000 ones." That's so what, by Reza was on, he kept on saying that a lot. To the point where I was starting to get a little annoyed, he had to mean like, "Oh, that's like white people. "Like, white people love to do this stuff, "but white people do that." That's like, that's not Persian. Persians don't do that. Like, white people don't like to talk about their emotions. That's what I was like, "Okay Reza." Like, you know, it's like cute at first, but like the more you say it, the more I'm starting to sound a little, you know. - He's just gross. - Yeah. - I found him amusing in season one. Now he's just gross. - Yeah, I mean, he has his moments. He has his moments where I like him. And he has a lot of moments where he's just an asshole. - Yeah, he's just a dick. - He was like good, he was good during the scene with Adam. He was saying things that you wish people would say in these scenes on reality TV. And so it was like moments like that where I feel like the smart side of Reza comes out where I like him. But then he spends the rest of the episode instigating fights and stuff, but there was a fight. There was another fight. Some random dude got called a seepa. Like she's some stupid Indian. - Well, there was a tweet that I read where Gigi's like, well, you know, I don't believe in violence, but sometimes a bitch has got to be punched in her face to learn a lesson. And I'm talking about the Indian bitch from Shah, something like that. - Yeah, so I guess she punched her. - There was a lot of Shervin being shirtless and he's got a really good body, even though he looks like he's three feet tall. And he's the one that looks like Mike. - Oh, uh-huh, uh-huh. - And then that guy Kaz Kaz, whatever he showed up and he's super hot, but he didn't take a shirt off. So that's it. - Yeah, I hate that show. Okay, so Real Housewives of Mailman. - Yeah, on the- - I won a Bentley. - What is that lady's accent? First of all, I can't believe Lydia called, what is her name? - Petit Buh. - Petit Buh. - I can't believe Lydia called it Petit Buhr. A mom girl. 'Cause Petit Buhr's like, I'm Thai. I'm Irish, Scottish. - Black. - Indian. (laughing) She named like 30 things and Lydia's like, "Petit Buhr is sort of a mom girl." (laughing) - Damn, mom girl. - She's like, I'm gonna keep Mr. Figuerer away from me now. (laughing) - Don't want Mr. Figuerer to get eaten by her, such a mom girl. - Uh, so it started with Petit Buhr getting a Bentley and she's like, "I deserve Bentley. "My husband, I made myself from nothing, "so my husband, get me Bentley." She's like, "Can you put Mears on the floor "so I can look at my landing strip?" It's like, ugh. - By the way, everything I said about Petit Buhr last week, I was like, "You know, I sort of like Petit Buhr, "I like a tough one, whatever. "I take it back, everyone. "I apologize. "She's awful, she's so awful. "I'm disgusting." - I apologize for everything I've ever said on this podcast. Petit Buhr is a little beast. She's a little, a little wolverine, an awful, awful, awful, awful. - She's disgusting. I didn't write down too many notes for this. I wrote down her talking about the Bentley, you know, and then wanting to see her landing strip. She was ridiculous. - How about her twerking in the costume shop? - Oh, god. - She's like, "I have nice, tight white butt, "so I make twerk because I do it so good." Like, "No, you don't. "No, you don't. "That's not twerking." It's like, a dog rubbing his butt up against the couch, like over and over, it's slow motion, slowly to the ground. It's disgusting. It's like, "Get some preparation, 8th, "and stop wiping that shit all over everything." It's nasty, girl. - She's like, "Shouting twerking." - And she was so, like, she was really, so vile, the way she was bossing around that, like, clerk at the costume shop. She's like, she's basically like a Halloween town, okay? She's not at like-- - Yeah, she's at like, party city. - Yeah, she's like, "She's like Penelope. "Could you get to me another, which is hot, please? "This one doesn't fit in me. "Make sure it looks good on me. "Make sure it makes my boobs look good. "I'd like another dress please, Penelope." - Yeah. - I need tights that have never been worn. - Like, "Jesus, lady." - Yeah, and then I like how, like, Sean, Sean, Sean was like, "Well, then you can get that at a tight store. "This is a costume shop." - Yeah, it's Sean, Sean. - Like, my grown time. - I like that Sean, Sean's like, "Get it yourself, girl." - Sean, Sean's kind of funny this season. She just is like, not even saying anything. She's just like, every time they cut to her, she's like, "Well, I think it's a great time. "I think it's a great-- this is fun. "It's my type of gal. I like it. "I like it. I like costume shopping. "That's fun. I like it." - Yeah, 'cause last year her whole thing, which is like, "I'm new here. "I mean, these women in Turak, "they're all crazy, Sean, Sean, Sean. "I mean, I'm a rock star. "We don't act like that. "You know, we're more like normal people, "but with nicer cars. "You know, these ladies are crazy. "They're Turak." But now she's one of them. So she's just like, "Sean, Sean, darling." - Sean, Sean, it's not enough, right? She, at one point, I freaked out, "I wish I remember what she said." She made some joke. And then like, you get, she made a joke in the interview, and then sort of like landed, and then she sort of sat there and like smiled. She's like, "Then she's like, "Get it? "That was a joke there." (laughing) - I wish she would show her husband more. I like her husband. - Oh yeah, he probably was like, "Oh, I gotta get off this show." - Yeah, it's like, "I can't do this anymore, babe. "They kept making fun of me in civil cheer." - Yeah. - It's hard to go on tours with guys when they're just making funny the whole time, babe. - He's like, "But this is gonna ruin "the Llamascarra IPO." - Llamascarra. Yeah, have we heard about that? Llamascarra? They mentioned it like I'm passing in the first episode, I think. At least they literally, they were like, at one point, I just went, "Llamascarra." Like in the party. (laughing) So, Petty Floor is really, she's like a nasty diva, and I take back everything, she's awful. But anyway, what's fun things in this episode was gamble. - Gumble. - Oh God. So gamble. - Gumble. - Hello darling, you know, the best thing about being friend of these women is they're the chop, you know, they're the chop of the line women. You gotta know these women. - Is this what a woman you wanna know? - Like in her son-- - You gotta know these women, I wanna be on top of the gossip. - And then her semi-special gay son, love him. - Yeah, I know, he's like, he just stepped out of Beetlejuice. - Yeah, he's so excited. - Like I was expecting, I was like half expecting, when they were having that family dinner, I was half expecting them all to stand up and start going, "Dayo, dayo." (laughing) - They like coming, I won't go home darling. What the gossip from the chop pointing in town darling? - Oh, when I met Wolfie, he and Sydney Orfee. Wolfie. - Wolfie. - Wolfie. - Wolfie. Or Wolfie. You get asking them, "Mari, of course Wolfie." - Three. - By the way, I love Wolfie. - I do too. - He's so sweet. He's like, "Well, I've been thinking about it." And I was thinking, "The, you know, I was like, "I love to have you as my wife now." - Oh, Wolfie, when did you get to say it? When did you get to say it? - What did she say? - I don't know. She's like, "Oh, this all sounds like my wife." - Oh, it's very mental. - When did you get to listen to my movie? - Wolfie. - Wolfie, this is a romantic. - They're at the Red Lobster. They're like cheesy biscuits holding, they're holding hands over the cheesy biscuits. He's like, "Dolly, you know, it's the E harmony, it was one time ago." - I think now it's time that we, you know, tied the knot, my knot, my heart's only got so long to go and you're gonna need some kind of living when I'm gone. She's like, "Oh, I still need the mental dogs." - She's like, "This really is the ultimate feast, Wolfie." Oh. (laughing) - I love when Lydia, this is, I'm just jumping to random shit, but I love when Lydia was walking with her mom who's like the shitster. I love that her mom's like, "Don't forgive anyone, darling, ever." It's like the opposite of good mom advice. - Yeah. - But they're walking with the stupid dog, dress like whatever. - I don't know. - Lydia just made this comment with, the mom's like, "How is the birthday party, darling?" - And she's like, "Oh, mommy, it was wonderful." You know, Janet is 56 and she just looks amazing. - Yeah, that is not 56. That bitch is 80 if she's a day. - Yeah. - She looks amazing for 80, but not for 56. - Yeah. Yeah, I love that. - Well, I also love, by the way, I love how Janet hates Peddifler and Hell, 'cause Peddifler took so long in the costume shot that Janet's like, "Oh, I rather don't want that." - Janet's killing it this year. Janet's just not even trying to hide anything this year. She's just like a total bitch, and I love it. - She said Janet should be like the worst, 'cause she is like a gossip, she's nasty, she says shit behind everyone's back, and yet it's just sort of like, just laughter. She's like, "Yeah, darling, I'm gonna love it." - She's so funny about it. And I like that Chica this year is like a little devilish. - Chica. - So Janet and Chica take gamble because they want it, they take her to lunch because they want to talk about all these rumors that Janet's been here. - Yeah, and this is post the murder mystery party that they had at Gamble's house. - Yeah, but it was kind of boring because they were asking all the women to pay attention to something, and none of them could do it. - I know, exactly. And then Lydia somehow won, which just goes to show how bad the game was. Lydia, Lydia, what do you think of that? - I think the Mongrel did it with Dr. Figg in the background. And yes, I have given my-- - The Mongrel did it with Figgly's in the kennel. - With Mr. Pootie Poops. - And Gamble's like, "Oh, we'll see someone got it right." - It's a romantic movie. Let's take our children around the world and everybody pick themselves up, darling. - We'll see. - Wait, what's the name of their dog? - Oh, I just wrote Gamble's dog. Oh, chant. Isn't it chant or something? 'Cause she's Gamble? She's like-- - I'm gambling my dog's chant. So it's like cash or something. - Oh, it's cash, that's what, cash. Oh, cash is like, she's, I like when she was like, so if you treat a dog like a human, it's gonna treat you like a dog. But if I treat the dog like a dog, the dog treat you like a human, I don't get it, it blows my mind. We'll see. - She's like, "Somebody just punched me in the face right now." - I'm like, "No one would feel it if they did, girl. None of your face moves." I mean, you know, we make, obviously, it's like an obvious house, so I joke, but that lady's upper face does not move. Only her bottom face. She's like one of those like cartoon things where they use someone's real face, but then they only make their mouth move. - I still can't decide whether or not I like Gamble or not. I think I actually like her. - I like her. I think she's hilarious. And I think that, honestly, Wolfie is so sweet and adorable. I mean, he is great. I actually see why she fell for him. - Yeah, and I like that she's like some old whore that's a bad love, you know. - He's basically transported out down Nappy. He's like the sort of guy who goes after, you know, goes after what's her face like that. You know, that sweet count who asks Matthew's mother, what's her name again, Isabelle? - Is that this season? 'Cause I'm not cut up. - Oh, no. Well, you know, there's always like this like, this humble, like, foppish man who's always like having his eye on Isabelle or Matthew's mom. You know, that's what I think. - Oh, yeah. Yeah. He is like that guy. And he's like, remember that time when he was like, we're both sad. We're both horribly depressed and want to kill ourselves. Maybe we should be together. And she's like, - I'm not ready to hold your hand. - Oh Lord, the fat fucking show. - He's like a mix of her and the guy who was going out after Edith, who had like a bad arm, you know? Just these like sounds. - The one that disappeared in the war. That's a different guy. - Anybody who went after Edith basically is sad. - Anybody who goes after Edith or Isabelle is basically what Wolfie's like. He's like, well, I would like to, I'm getting on an age and I'd like to ask you to have to be my wife right now because why not? - Over these cheesy biscuits. - Over these cheesy biscuits, you know, sitting here with my red lops of bib on, I can't help but think about you. I want to put your harmony profile. But you said that your favorite thing was just to live and laugh. - So this whole episode, and I think it started in the last episode where Janet's like, I've heard gossip, you know, and I'd hate for this gossip to be spread about me. And who does this? Who spreads this gossip around like that? Who would do something like that, spreading awful gossip like that about some, like, bitch, you know you're doing it all over national TV, international TV. - I just struggle whether or not it'll be better to tell if it's not, but, you know, I don't want to say a thing and then get me like, well, you better say it now. - Oh, well, that was great 'cause they set her up at lunch and Cheeker was part of this 'cause last season Cheeker just sat back and was like, oh, now, goes. But this year, she's like, well, I would like to talk about secrets and rumors because if you hear a rumor about a friend, what should you do with the rumor? Should you tell the friend? Should you just pretend the rumor's not there and believe in your friend? Should you go to your friend and tell them it'll lunch maybe with another friend, get two friends together and tell them something at lunch? And Gamble's like, oh, you told me you're mad. (laughing) And it's like, I'll just be out a little right in there. (laughing) Just say it now, like, no, I have a fancy to hear, no, I'm keen to hear these rumors. - And Janet's like, why are we here? You're having sex parties? - On Facebook. - Well, I mean, she was a sex party and puts it on Facebook. - Yeah, well, first I think that she said that she used to be a stripper. She's like, well, me a stripper. - And a call girl, yeah, she was a whore, basically. - No, no, no, and then he had sex parties. Well, that's ridiculous. No, what happened was I had a party, had some girls over, and they wrote things on the wall and that must've been where it's from. I don't know what you're talking about, Wolfie. - And she's like, but I've heard it from everybody. I mean, it's not just one person. I've heard it from the entire, I've heard it from every, I went to the meat shop. - What's that, hell, was it from Wolfie? - The butcher, it was the butcher at the meat shop. The man who worked at the McDonald's, the lady at the flower shop. - You know, I strictly only go to Burger King, so that's already a lie. (laughing) - But Gamble knows Janet already well enough to be like, you know, who everybody is, who's spreading this? Janet, Janet, and Janet, that's who she heard it from. - And I love that she kept it open when Janet's like, I heard you were stripper and a cold girl, and Campbell's like, well, I wasn't a stripper or a cold girl, like keep guessing, bitch. I love that she's like, I was something, but not one of those things. - Yeah, she's like, I was a dominatrix, well. - Doing porn does not make you a whore. - Yeah, doing porn is very different than being a stripper, okay, I was an on-screen personality. (laughing) - I was an on-screen personality. - It was like entertainment tonight. (laughing) - Gamble's voice is the best voice this year. - I was the mayor hot of porn. - Oh my God, we haven't even mentioned Gina. What do you know, dude? - Junior's just hanging around. Junior's just like, oh well, because Petifler, Petifler invited Gina over, she's like, so I've written a book, it's called "Ditch the Bitch" or something like that. It's like, and basically what I'm saying is that like, you know, like women can have the bitch person, and so what I'm saying is, ditch it, 'cause we're all bitches, and we can all do it. And this way, you learn to be nice, and they're like, wait a step back, women's rights move, and like-- - There's the nasty bitch, there's the bitch bitch, there's the fun bitch, there's the drinking bitch. (laughing) - Yeah, go take her to the Andrea publishers, you know, I'm sure they'll make something else. - But I loved Gamble saying, oh, never book by a society woman about nothing, that's just what the world needs, darling. (laughing) - Well, I'm coming out of my own book, called "Wolfy and Oofy." What you learn is how to do an Oofy with a wolf, I don't know what it means, but it's gonna be five chapters. (laughing) - Oofy, oof. (laughing) - What else happened in the show? I think that was it, right? - Well, yeah, 'cause then, yeah, Petifler talked about the book again over dinner, and no one liked it, yeah, that was basically it. - Yeah, Petifler is just gonna be the awful one. - Yeah. - Basically. - Yeah. - Okay, so last but not least, we've got... (singing in foreign language) (singing in foreign language) By the way, I'm so happy that they fixed the opening credits. I remember last season I complained about how the music faded out awkwardly at the end of the opening credits, and now they actually end it properly without it. (laughing) - Oh, I didn't notice. - Yeah, I think they also added like a little more like, beat to it. I think they sort of made it more modern. (singing in foreign language) - Well, I love that you can make change through a podcast, Ben. All right there, everybody, you never-- - It was a good book. - Change in your heart that you need to make. Get a podcast, everybody. - Thank you, producers. - Do your own melody, doo doo doo. - Thank you, Whitney, whatever your last name is again. For listening to our podcast and making that change. Thanks for taking your notes, 'cause I assume that's where you learned it from, is from us. (laughing) - This show is just a fucking classic. I mean, everything about it. I love that they made The Little Real World Girl just, I mean, she was the narrator last year too, but this show's just like so slick this year. They know exactly what they're doing now. - Yeah. - They fell right in their groove. Just really, really good. - I love, I think I said this last season. I love that they're, I love that they're all wealthy. I remember you said like, well, I don't like that they're wealthy because I don't want to watch wealthy assholes. But I'm like, I like their assholes now. - Yeah, I do too. - Get different style, different style of assholes and then we're used to. It's like a, it's like a huge like white privilege. I think it's great. First of all, I mean, we can talk about a lot of things. We have to talk about Patricia. Patricia is the best part. They could get rid of the entire cast as long as they keep Patricia. I don't know why the show's just not going. - Oh, she was amazing. I mean, it opens, her opening scene was in bed being served breakfast wearing like a gigantic feather, boad, white silk bathrobe. - Yeah. I mean, she is, I mean, she is just phenomenal. I love the way she just dismisses everything around her, you know? - Oh, I'm trying to see. Yeah, hold on. I'm trying to see what she did here. What was she saying in that scene? God, it's so funny. - I mean, it could be anything. You should talk about like a cross proposal. I was like, well, I don't really care for that cross proposal. It's a little simple for me if you ask. - It's a little ghost, darling. - Ghost, like I just, you know, I prefer something a little more challenged. That's why I don't read you as something. - When she went to that stupid christening, the second christening outside, she's like, well, I don't know who would have a christening in the outside in August. And this decor leaves something to be desired. And then she's in the kitchen having her butler make her a martini with her own martini kit. And she's like, one does not drink cheap wine in the heat. - She's like, oh, let's have my butler bring my own martini kit. And by the way, that looked like such a good martini. I wanted to have one right away. No, this one is like fabulous, truly fabulous. I mean, she's just what we all should be. - Just in my day and unwed mother is a shameful thing. - In my day and unwed mother go to house and live together. - No, no, no, no. - Mother's never been heard from again. I love her hair. I just love everything about her. She shows up late to the christening. No one is like, no one even bats nine. - No one showed up to that thing except the cast. - Yeah, no, she is just, she is just the best, the best. - Yeah, we need to actually start writing down her quotes 'cause when I was watching it, I was laughing so hard and I was like, oh, I'll totally remember this. - Yeah. - Which of course I don't. I love her little gay that she has now. That shit's hilarious. - Yes. - It's like he lives down the street and he's good in attainment. He comes by in his little pink suit and he's like, - Hello darling. - It's like, hi darling. - Oh, I love it, I love it. She, you know what it is, sorry for the, she is like, I love that she is a woman of tastes, a woman of like principles, whether they meet backwards or whatever, that she is totally dismissive and snobby. And I like that she kind of like stands for this like, old Southern way of doing things, you know. Even though like-- - It is totally like wrong. It's like, as he really got her talking, you know she'd have the most backwards racist shit coming out of her mess. She's like one of those old white ladies that you know is just wrong in every way, but that's what makes her wonderful. 'Cause she just, she doesn't give a shit. - Like the Southern way of doing things is like the worst. It's like off and racist and terrible to people. But like, there is something to, if you can look past that, if it's possible. There is something to be said about like old traditions. You know, I know that sounds so wrong. Just say that, like say one thing and then say the other. But you know, it's sort of, I don't know. Like there's, there is something sort of like fun about someone maintaining old rules of decorum at least, not old rules of race relations, just the decorum in a world of reality TV that is kind of refreshing. - Yeah, especially when she's like some white lady living with her son, which is not really proper. And her son's out fucking half the town, which isn't really proper. And he's on some reality show that he's made, which is totally ghost. And I'm sure all of her friends think she's totally ghost for being on a reality show. So it's kind of funny that she's such a hypocrite while maintaining this excellent character. - Yeah, exactly. - I love her. I love all the characters on this. I'm really loving that Catherine's an actual character. This year, because she's just so... - She always talks like this and really slowly and really softly, like she doesn't really understand what's going on. She's like, we moved out here to the boondocks after we had a baby. I used to be able to have parties with my friends. Now it's just me and the baby. - It's like, she's like the, you know what? She is, you know, sometimes when you read things, like maybe even comics, when someone doesn't know what to say and they write, it's written E-R-M, like um. But no one ever says um, but she says um. She's like, well, I have a baby now and um, wow. I can't wear a thong and it's just like, I'm all alone here, um, I don't know. It's just um, Thomas. - So the big plot here was that they had a christening for their baby, but uh, Catherine's like. - Well, we had that christening and then at the after party, the baby's godmother was being really inappropriate with Thomas, so um, bye. That's the end of that one. So now we're doing it again. - Was that the source of the controversy about like being thrown in the pool and all that stuff? Remember that? - No, 'cause I feel like that happened later. - I don't know. - I feel like that, I feel like that happened later, 'cause that's fairly recent. - Yeah, it's, by the way, it definitely sucks to be her that she's like stuck in some plantation an hour and a half away from civilization. That's what happens when you get knocked up though, babe. - Yep, she tried to trap a man and he ended up trapping her an hour and a half away. She still doesn't have a wedding ring. He's just a loser. Thank god he's got family money, 'cause he's not ever getting back into politics again. That's the saddest thing I've ever seen is him trying to get back into politics and like campaigning around. He's like, "I'm Thomas Ravenow, and I believe in freedom "and rights." That lady's like, "Well, what do you think about guns?" And he's like, "You can keep your guns up for you." I mean, come on, people. What do you do with your fucking guns? Like, what do you think is gonna happen? You know, but you're gonna need your guns so badly. - Well, the first place the terrorists are gonna hit is gonna be the rural Midwest. - It's gonna be a Walmart somewhere. - They're gonna be like, "Thank God we got our guns!" I'm like, "Fuckin' hit, it's way to be a stereotype lady." - But meanwhile, all the other people who like rejected Thomas is like, the woman who wouldn't shake his hand and the other people was like, "Well, I just don't want to vote for someone "who's been in jail before." - And he's like, "Okay." - And he backs away. He like literally backed away from her slowly. - But what was he thinking also, going up against Lindsey Graham? Lindsey Graham's been there for like, I feel like ever since I was born, Lindsey Graham has been, you know, in office. Like, how does he think about-- - Especially as the third party. Come on now. - He's gonna take down Lindsey Graham. He should move to like, Alaska or something, where he can go up against someone like Sarah Palin if she were still in office, you know? Or Minnesota, Minnesota elected Jesse Ventura, you know? But maybe he'll try Minnesota. Or, I'll say California, why has he not moved to California? That's where you have his best shot. Remember, we had like, Angeline running for governor and she was a legitimate contender. - Oh my God, Angeline. My friend asked for her autograph one time and she's like, "If you buy a t-shirt out of my trunk, "what's your size, honey?" - And she's like, "No, I just want to take your picture." She's like, "Okay, if you buy a t-shirt, $30." - I'm like, who wants some plastic tranny bitch on a t-shirt for $30? Do you want a picture or not, okay? This is gonna be on Instagram. She's got thousands of followers, darling. All right, we'll put a link to your website, idiot. - Chef Penny just came up with a new roast called the Angeline. It's lamb in the pink glaze, cherry pink. - It's expired lamb with an old sour grape glaze, stunning. - By the way, if you don't know who Angeline is 'cause you don't live in Los Angeles, just do Google search, A-N-G-E-L-Y, and you'll learn all about her and it all makes sense. - Oh yeah, Angeline, she's a local celebrity and she drives around in this pink, what is it, it's a Corvette, right? - Yeah. - And she just drives around all day, waving at people, she wears this giant wig, and then you'll see her pulled over in like a bank parking lot, parking lots all over West Hollywood, digging through her trunk, selling people t-shirts. - You know, I once found her, she actually has like a little office and I found it once because I was going to get a smog check and it turns out her little office was like behind the smog check place. (laughing) Her pink, her Corvette was parked and she like him down the staircase. - Yeah, I started the other day in the Bank of America parking lot, digging through that trunk and I was like, "Girl, girl, please." - I'm surprised, she's not a housewife. - Oh my God, would you imagine how the other housewives would react to her? - Kim Richard. - Kim Richard's trash. - Kim Richard would be like, "Ah, Jessica Rabbit, can't even join the cast." - That's awesome. - She might be like, "Hey, you got any cock, I know you doubt." - She'd be snorting, she'd be snorting Angeline's purse. - She'd be like, "You stole my house in turn town." (laughing) She's like, "Where's the death, ah, stay away from the dead." - What else happened on this southern charm? - So, we have a new girl, Landon. Who's like, "Shit." - Landon, he's just nervously giggling with her little squinty eyes, not sure about her yet. - She looks like a young Martha Stewart. - Okay. - Like a young Southern Martha Stewart. - Yeah, okay, I can see that brunette. - Yeah, I like her so far, 'cause I like everyone. - Yeah, she hasn't really done anything so far but flirt with Shep. - Should I? - I love that Shep. - I love that Shep started his own restaurant, like because Whitney was being so emo and cool and like didn't want to invest with Shep, so Shep went and made his own restaurant. And then Patricia was like to Whitney, like, "So what's going on with your restaurant?" I mean, Shep got one. - Yeah, she's like, "Well, Shep, you know, he's got his own restaurant up and running. You got a hand at to him for that. And what about your restaurant or Whitney?" - Do you know that Charleston's supposed to have like one of the most exciting culinary scenes in the country? - Really? - It apparently has like some of the best restaurants in the country right now. It's like top, it's probably like top five, I think. - Well, maybe he's just nerve. He's got the nervesies. - Maybe Whitney is nervous to launch his like fast casual hip upscale, easy Mexican restaurants. - He had to wait for his face to heal before he could get back to work girl. - He was too busy strumming that guitar. He doesn't know how to play. - Hey, I would love to make fun of that, but I've got two hanging on my wall. - I know, that's right. You had your guitar. - I have two guitars that I don't know how to play. I'm really proud of it. - It's weird. I mean, well, here's the thing. We laugh about Whitney being just like in his mom's house and like, he has a restaurant I didn't launch, tries, you know, learning guitar. But he's like the producer of this show. I mean, while like he's obviously, you know. - Yeah, he does. - He's probably like the smartest person on the cast. And he's like playing this whole slacker, indie, emo, Charleston guy, when he's actually like a buttoned up conservative, very sharp, who's packaged an entire show together. - Yeah. Yeah, he's done a good job of it too. We gotta thank Whitney for that. You can never hate on Whitney now, guys. - Thanks Whitney. - Beautiful show. - Thank Whitney. Love your new face, love your new wig. Keep it up. - I've got a pencil a little bit much, but otherwise, you're doing great. - Cameron, by the way, got married, which is fun. - And I love that she got married to another man with enough self-respect to not ever appear on the show, even in a picture. Even in the wedding pictures, he wouldn't be in the show. - Can I go out on a limb and say that Cameron is one of the best reality stars in the history of the genre? - For real. She is so, she was great on real. Great in all her challenges. She's always just like funny. And I like support everything she does. - And she's not like a cheesy idiot, like fame more idiot. She's just honest, which I like. - I also like that that guy who's like the serious lawyer, the other poor person on the show, who's like actual working lawyer now, is just gonna become a total alcoholic loser this year. - He's actually the one I don't like. I thought he seemed like an asshole to me last season and I think he just continues to be an asshole. Like I just know his type. Like I feel like his type, like I went to college with his type, like I've seen his type in action just an asshole. Not that everyone in my college was an asshole, but there were his types that Southern, Smarmy, whatever. They definitely went to my school. They went to probably many people's schools and ooh, he rubs me the wrong way. He's like, I don't know why I have to come in at 9 a.m. It's because he just started your job. - 'Cause you're in her fucking law firm. But I do my best work in the middle of the night. And then they show him at a bar or hitting on girls in the middle of the night not doing this work. - Yeah. Like how about like maybe when you're a partner you can choose your hours like that. But like right now you should be so lucky you still have a job after season one of this show. You're at like a po-dunk law firm. Get over it and show up at 9 a.m. - When even the secretary is giving you attitude. She's like, hi there, good morning. Good to see you. Haven't seen you in a long time. - Let's go hard. - Like you're a Patricia has to say about that. - And his boss is like, now you know, you got to come to work because other people come in at 9 and what am I supposed to tell them when I'm yelling at them for coming in 10 minutes late and you show up at 3.30 in the afternoon. I'm like, just, hey. And he's like, but I just, that's when I do my best work. - Oh, he's just arrogant. It's like one of those hot arrogant guys who works out so they think that they're entitled to stuff. And look, it does entitle to you to a lot more than ugly people. Let's just face it. We all live in the same world and hot people generally are entitled to more. We've all seen it, but not that much. You still have to go to work. He's like, the gel in my hair doesn't set until 3 p.m. So I can't come into work before then. (laughing) - What else? We've talked about Thomas, Catherine, that douche, Cameron, Whitney, Patricia. Who else is there? - I like that. Well, you didn't really talk about, there's still more to talk about me 'cause Thomas is still working up to a marriage with Catherine. (laughing) - He's not in a marriage area. - Well, I think they already broke up, didn't they? Well, they've broken up like 20 times. - Yeah. - And then they show him leaving her and in the coming this season episode, he's walking off and she's going, ♪ Thomas, don't leave me ♪ ♪ Thomas, I'm not gonna let you leave me ♪ ♪ Thomas, Thomas ♪ - Like the saddest, slowest. - She's such a slow, when they're like, she's like, you wanna have another one or something like that? And she's like, well, you just gonna have to put a ring on it. First, it was, bah, bah, bah. - I know, I'm like, ah, wait a step up for yourself. She's like, I'm not having a second baby until he puts a ring on it, okay. - Yeah, nice self-respect there, hun. - By the way, you know that it probably kills all the other people in the cast to have to talk to her because she talked-- - They hate her good. - 'Cause you know, not only does she talk slowly, like, she's not like cool. Like, she's not cool in terms of like, someone you could just like, gab with or whatever, like, make the snorkely comments that they all make to each other. She's just like, um, um, yeah, just, I don't know, I just wanna get married. It's like, wah, wah, wah. You know, got MJ's delivery of frozen pizzas is arriving. (laughing) - It's not delivery, it's DiGiorno! (laughing) - DiGiorno sliders with raisins and pomegranates. (laughing) - I think that covers it for this week, y'all. That was a lot of damn shows. Jeez! - Oh, that was so many shows on the front. - That was a lot of podcasting today. We need to do better, freely cover this many shows. We need to do better at like, taking notes for shit. - I know, I thought I took more notes, to be honest. - I thought I did too, but you know what? I was laughing so hard this entire week, watching these shows, I didn't take that many notes. I just fucking was so fucking, every single one of them was so funny this week. - I get absorbed, that's what happens. I actually get absorbed, and then, I don't take notes, I'm so sorry. - I'm so sorry. - Well, we still manage to get two hours out of it, or some crap, I mean, good Lord. - A lot of shows, there's a lot of shows, and it's like more common, but jeez. - Yep, there's more blood, sweat, and heels is coming back. - And I think blood, sweat, and heels will be a little crazier this season, so. - Real housewives of New York is coming back. - Oh my God, I can't wait for that. We'll be wrapping it up. - It's overload, so if you have not gone to the Patreon page, once we get up to $1,000, we will be doing two episodes a week, and we're about to need them. So get over there and sign up, y'all. - Think of it as like a tip jar. - Yes. - Although, it's improper to ask for tips, as I'm sure Patricia would say, I just wouldn't do that. - Oh, I don't care if you want to tip me, go to trash TV, and trash talk TV, and hit the tip jar. I have no saying, tip me, y'all. - No shame, no game. - They ain't no shame in my game, y'all. - Well, anybody, I mean, anyway, everybody. Thank you so much for being with us today. This lovely Wednesday, March 18th. It's been really fun. We're gonna do our Google subscriber hang out tomorrow night at 7 p.m. Pacific time. Just come to our Facebook page, a patreon.com/watchupcrapins to find out when or where, how to get in there. Basically, you just need to be a paid subscriber to get in there. Also, the ringtones will be posted later this week, and I think that's it for that. Please go to watchupcrapins.com to find out all of our social media links. Read my Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recaps at trashtalktv.com. Night of air, and listen to Ben's other podcast, the banter blender with Ben Mandelker. - Yay. - You guys are wonderful. Thank you so much for listening. Thank you for all the support, and we will see you next week. Bye. - Bye. - Bye. - Yay. - If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the internet. The folks behind the sideshow network of launch the new YouTube channel called Wait For It. It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza Schleisinger, Schleisinger, I've been friends with it for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there, and I still have a hard time with the last name, Liza. Our very own Owen Benjamin, that's me, takes you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes and much more. You don't have to wait any longer. Just go to youtube.com/waitforaccomedy. There's no need to wait for it anymore. Because it's here, and it's funny, and I love you. - On Monday, Josh Liebarger made his status. - Piece of the Mondays. - Followed by a frowny face. He got one like in five comments, including dislike. Well, Josh, Geico also wants to make a comment. To turn that emoji's frown upside down. In just 15 minutes, you could save hundreds of dollars on your car insurance by switching to Geico. With all that extra dough, why not give Monday a makeover? We see an office party in your future. Hosted by you. Hashtag happy face, hashtag savings. - Geico, 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance. - If you like Watch what Crapin's, you can list them ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com/survey. - In a quiet suburb, a community is shattered by the death of beloved wife and mother. But this tragic loss of life quickly turns into something even darker. Her husband had tried to hire a hitman on the dark web to kill her, and she wasn't the only target. Because buried in the debt to the internet is the kill list. A cache of chilling documents containing names, photos, addresses and specific instructions for people's murders. This podcast is the true story of how it ended up in a race against time to warn those who lives were in danger. And it turns out convincing a total stranger someone wants them dead is not easy. Follow Kill List on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Kill List and more exhibit-see true crime shows like Morbid early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. Check out exhibit-see in the Wondery app for all your true crime listening.