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So go to Fylo.tv and check it out for a free seven-day trial. - That's P-H-I-L-O.TV to start watching. - Unlock your imagination with Audible when you listen to audio content in your mind as free to paint the scenes and feel the emotions of a great story. Plus, a great narrator can really take things to the next level. There's more to imagine when you listen. - Audible's extensive catalog is sure to have titles you'll enjoy, immerse yourself in captivating tales, learn from world-renowned experts, and discover new perspectives, all while multitasking or relaxing. Right now, I'm listening to our friend Elena Urkhart's "The Butcher Game." It's a sequel, it's fantastic, it's a serial killer cat mouse. I absolutely love her, I love what she's done, and it's really cool and very beautifully told on the Audible version. - And as an Audible member, you choose one title a month to keep from their entire catalog. - New members can try Audible free for 30 days. Visit audible.com/crapins or text crapins to 500-500. That's audible.com/crapins or text crapins to 500-500. - Hey everybody, welcome to The Watch what Crap is. The podcast about all that crap we love to talk about on Bravo. I'm Ronnie Caron from Trash Talk TV, and with me as usual is the lovely, thin, taken, and very well read, Ben Mandelker, from The Bantar Blender podcast. Hello, Ben. - And by well read, you mean that I have like-- - That I just read, Joe ass. - Oh yeah, exactly, I've been read a lot. - Yeah, been been read. - I've been read. - And today we are joined by the lovely and talented and beautiful Angie Thomas. Hello Angie. - Hi everybody. - So if you might remember Angie, we've had her on before, she's from the Small Potatoes Food Podcast, she's a personal chef here in Los Angeles, and she's also from a new podcast that she does with a guy named Grant Sutton, who's about to start writing at Trash Talk TV. He's gonna be doing, he's gonna be doing empire recaps, and possibly drag race recaps. I'm really gonna burn his ass out in his first round. But they do an empire podcast called The Lion's Lair, and it's L-Y-O-N-S, Lion's Lair. So find that on iTunes or on Stitcher, wherever. - And you can get a taste, you can get like a little bit of a taste about what Angie talks about on that podcast, because we just recorded our bonus episode of the week, and we spent a good chunk of time talking about empire. - Yeah, thanks guys. - You're a little empire accent. - Well, we love our soaps. Both of us are so-- - You ever heard nobody? - Uh-huh, both of us are still addicts. I still feel guilty for getting rid of revenge. I just have to stop with revenge. - Yeah, me too. - But you know, we'll always have housewives. - So this week we have-- - Wait, and support it, you can, by the way-- - Oh yeah, so sorry, I think that's all our thing. So if you want our social media addresses instead and all that, just go to watchwithcrapins.com, or come on to facebook.com/watchwithcrapins. That's kind of our community of listeners, everybody's talking crap on their right as instant about what to talk about on today's show. We have show threads that go on, and then you can post articles or whatever you want there. It's really a fun Facebook page, and you'll meet a lot of really hilarious people there, as we have. We also, if you want to support this and get extra content, like our weekly bonus episodes, or our monthly ringtones, or a monthly Google Hangout, which is basically just a party online, where we all video chat together, which is tomorrow night, Thursday, the, what, 19th, 20th? I don't know, something like that. - At 6 p.m. - Yeah, 19th. - Pacific time. - 19th. - Come on to Patreon, 19th. So patreon.com, P-A-T-R-E-O-N.com/watchwithcrapins, and donate whatever you want, and there's different levels, and come get your bonus episodes, y'all. - Yeah, it's fun. - Is that everything? - I think that's pretty much everything. - It's a lot of plugs, and plus we have a couple of-- - A lot of plugs, like Nicholas Cage over here. - Yeah, hopefully ours went a little bit more smoothly than his, but I'm not counting on that. So anyway, this week, our shows are Vanderpoop Drules, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, and Atlanta. - Yes. - So we're, well, first of all, we have to announce that we all just found out, and our Facebook page is a Twitter, or a Titter. - Yes. - That Real Housewives of Melbourne is coming to America, and we're not gonna have to wait until it's all been aired already in Australia. We ain't gonna get to see it, only two weeks behind, starting on a Thursday. - March 5th, or on Bravo. - How awful, what an awful thing to say, Ronnie. - So in just two weeks, this podcast will be filled with more terrible accents. - More Australian/South African accents. (both laughing) Actually, we know what's really cool about this is that it's gonna be, the shows are gonna air Thursdays at 9 p.m., and, you know, during season one of Real Housewives of Melbourne, which aired like noon on Sundays, we loved it so much, and we had concerns that the show would continue to air during the middle of the day on weekends, and no one would watch them. But I guess, obviously, it must've had enough traction that Bravo decided to bump it up to prime time. - Yeah, it's gonna be good. Americans are gonna love it. - Yeah, well, it's either that the show had more had traction, or Bravo realized all their other non-Real Housewives stuff has been kind of just thinking up the programming slate. - Oh, awful, god, awful. - Oi, yeah, I mean, how many times we have to see commercials for a girlfriend's guide to divorce where it's like all like super depressed? Like, honestly, the most depressing 30 seconds on TV this week was every time that commercial aired that was like, and now things get real on the girlfriend's guide to divorce, and it's like, yeah, I guess we're really getting divorced. - The music's like sad. - Oh, and that guy and his double chin and his terrible plastic leather jacket. - Oh, what are you crying about, leave him? Like that woman's so hot. Why is she crying about that little weasel? Get rid of him. - Yeah, cuddy, don't do it, cuddy. - Ugh, cuddy, X-Nay on the Eve Dway. So I watched that show actually the other day for the first time because I just left my brabs on. Oh, that show's terrible. - It's not the best. A girlfriend's guide to divorce. - A girlfriend's guide to divorce, ugh, woof. - Or maybe I just was expecting something else. I guess I thought it was gonna be funny. - I like Janine. I thought she was actually really good. - But she's off the show, I think. I think they started to quit. - She quit like the second day. Like the day it premiered, the next morning, I was like, Janine Garafolo quits. It's like, Jesus Janine. She's like a Rosie O'Donnell. She can't keep her depression in check. - She is, that bitch don't wanna work. - I just feel bad. - Her husband like created big banks. She ain't thinking about it. She's fine. Well she was on 24, she lasted through 24 and I liked her on 24. Janice, she played Janice. The thing is, with girlfriend's guide, it just makes me feel bad for women, that these are the shows that are made for women now. You know, like, in a way, Sex and the City has been terrible for women because on the one hand, it was a revolutionary show and was great for women. And then on the other hand, it's like, and now for the next 12 years, you're gonna get nothing that's sad, like Sex and City rip offs. And that's all you're gonna get. - Yeah, proud feminist shows the center around how much we need men. - Yeah. - Which leads us to housewives. 'Cause really, isn't that what we do? We swim in this pool every week. Like this reverse feminism pool. - Well, where do we wanna start? Because we have-- - Being a powerful feminist means not having to be a bull dyke with non-shaved armpits. Like, okay, whatever. Okay, housewives, you're winning. Um, let's start. Actually, I think we should start this week with Atlantic 'cause Atlantic got shafted last week. - Oh, yeah. - Yeah. - So let's talk-- - Well, it got good this week. - Oh, my God. Well, Atlantic has had a really good season, I think. I think it's been really good so far. And not only in the drama, but just the fact that it's hilarious every single week. Even Cynthia's somewhat entertaining, which maybe I'm just used to her non-entertainment value. Although I would like to say that one of our listeners, one of our listeners, Jimmy Jimbob on Facebook, has this to say, he says, Cynthia needs a new plant for her front door. What the fuck, that dead tree? So, you heard of your first. Nothing gets by our listeners. - Maybe the plant has five words. - Yeah, I think so. I think the plant was like, oh my God, I can't deal with Peter anymore. I'm just gonna shrivel up and die. - Ooh, that is some funny shit. - Plants like, move me to bar one. I want to be next to where MLK dies. - Ooh. - I'll be under that highway. (laughing) - Yeah, so Claudia-- - She's on a-- - Go ahead. - I was just gonna take and I was just gonna say the plant was like, Leon always watered me. (laughing) - So where do we start with this show? Did it start with Claudia and Claudia's apartment where she was crying because Porsches mean to her? - That was the most hilarious thing. I'm like, you remember calling her a whore on national TV like five minutes ago, right? She's like, but I don't deserve this. People were mean to me in high school 'cause I'm half white. It's like Claudia seriously shut up. I really like Claudia of it. - Come on now. - I like Claudia and I actually, I don't know, I didn't feel like those were crocodile tears. I feel like that was like a real moment, to be honest. - That was an Adderall moment. - I don't think that Claudia is the type to cry for sympathy. I think she's like pretty steely and I thought it was like a real moment. Plus, I also like her cat. - Yeah, but this tragic mulatto stuff is played and I mean, it's like, we get it like the first time. She pulls that card. We're like, I mean, I understand, you know, kids can be really tough and everything. But then, I mean, she came on so strong those couple of episodes ago and she just read the shit out of Nini and we all cheered and we're like, yeah, girl, get it. And now she's like, she can't back it up and it's like, is this gonna be your storyline or are you just gonna kind of like, use this? That's not a character. I mean, she needs to like, either focus on maybe like the relationship thing or, you know, find some kind of fake career, like King is doing, like she can't just sit and cry if somebody hurts her feelings. She's on a morning show where they shit talk celebrities all day. So she's not, this isn't her first day, you know. And by the way, talking about setting women back, how about that scene when Ricky Smiley has to pull Porsche and Claudia into his office and, you know, like basically be the principal to these two girls. I mean, it's like, could women in the workplace look any worse at that moment? I mean, it was so embarrassing. I was cringing, you know. - Yeah, that was cringeworthy. But it was also cringeworthy because that guy is so desperate for attention that he would even do that. Like, first of all, that you have two real housewives on your radio show. Like, how confident are you in your talents that you have to have on? Not one, but two real housewives. And sorry, but that guy's not very funny either. So I think he's just trying to get all the attention he can get. So I get it, but ooh, that was awkward. He's like, maybe you guys can just hug and make up. Like, have you met women? No, that's not how it works, okay? (laughing) - Right. Well, I love that Porsche acts like there is no issue. Like, there is no issue, this was you, then she's like, we're not friends, we're not friends, you know? And Claudia is trying to say, I just want to be cordial with that. - No, I think also, because, I'm sorry, Bien, I think that Porsche is, you know, as dim as she may be, she knows how to play the game. And I think Claudia, it seemed like she did, but she doesn't, because she doesn't realize, like she's taking this all a little bit personally, I think, and you can't. I mean, you sort of can't. Like, you have to, if she's going to come out, you know, given those kind of hits, then you got to be, you got to keep them common, you got to keep it moving. And like, I think she would have been smarter to maybe push things more into like the dating cordial, which that would have been interesting, or something else. 'Cause now she's just turning this into like, these girls are being mean to me, and that will get you know. - And she kind of, like, it was her work, was it her workplace first? Or I think she was there before Porsche. - I didn't know. - She should be taking more ownership. Like, she shouldn't have to be like, she's very concerned about having a professional environment, and she shouldn't. She should just be like, whatever, because that's what Porsche is doing, and be like, whatever, and she's probably like, sometimes better than Porsche on there anyway. - Yeah, you guys gotta be like, I do what I do next. - Yeah, well, of course, that's how I guess used to be. - I think she was supposed to have a storyline with Porsche, because obviously they're trying to pit them against each other. And Porsche, instead of going head to head, she's just like, I'll ignore her, 'cause I'm higher on the food chain. But that got Porsche fired eventually, and that's not doing Claudia any favors either. I am enjoying the fact that Nini's nowhere to be seen. I think that's hilarious. - Yeah, was she even on the episode? - No, Nini's been totally replaced. - Yes, she was. - She was. - She was. - What'd she do? - Yeah, because they just, she and Porsche had a little lunch, and because they, it was, I'm so fascinated with Nini with her ordering, because Porsche orders, like, I have a acatonic. And then it's like, I'm gonna have a Belvedere with a twist, and a Saint-Germain, and, you know. - And she had like some ribs or something, right? Didn't she have something? - They had shrimp and grits, but she was excited because they had pork chops on them. - Yeah, pork chops, that's right. - Can I have some Belvedere with a pork chop, instead of an olive? Thank you. - This is Nini's story, the season, is that she filled up Greg's toilet coffee mug, and she ordered pork chops at her restaurants. - And then she played like some terrible cameo roll in Vegas. It was like made for Bruce Valanche to play. - Yeah, let's move around, let's put her-- - This is busy, let's just grab Nini. - Are you there, obviously. - Well, they need Nini to kind of stir the shit with pork chop, do you know what I mean? - Yeah, but like, Nini's on her way out. Like, Nini and Stasi, they're just two former stars who thought they were bigger than what they are, and now they're gonna be gone. - Yeah, agreed. - I mean, Nini is doing nothing this season. She's, I mean, except for the fight that she got into with Claudia. If she got into more fights with Claudia, it'd be great. Only because Claudia would take her down and over and over again. But there's just nothing left for Nini to do, and she's awful, and no one likes her anymore. - Well, Nini won't even talk to anybody else. She just wants to be followed around like anybody gives a shit about her extra parts in Vegas. No one cares, okay? You can even get enough people to fill the first two rows of that stupid show. It was almost as sad as that beauty pageant show where the finale beauty pageant, there were only the husbands and children in the audience at the Foxwoods Casino. I mean, come on! (laughing) No, that was, please don't, please don't incur memories of my favorite show of last year. (laughing) Give 'em friends. A piece of brilliance from Bravo. It makes me sad. Speaking of the entertainment industry, we also should talk about Kenya and her-- - Oh my God. - She's her Oscar winning-- - Oh my God. - Or editing production of whatever her show is. And she's sitting there like writing her script when like consulting with Brendan, her main gay about, sorry Andy, that I said her main gay, sorry about that. Consulting about the characters in her pilot, like for me as a writer, it made me wanna cry to think that in some way, Kenya's pilot might actually be made into something with someone's money. And my stuff just sits here. That made me really wanna cry and throw myself off the balcony again. - Well, that's why we need to get on some shitty Bravo show, let's do it. Let's just make a show about Uber drivers. - Oh, I certainly-- - It can be like taxi cab confessions, but it'll be yes, and I'll have to borrow Angie's car, but it'll be yes. Come on, that would be really good. - I can tell you, there's certainly enough material out there, oh my God. - Yeah, that, I think we would be so good in that show, and someone's gonna try and steal it, but guess what, you can't steal it because you're not me or Ben, and you can't just steal what we've got in our hearts. - No, you can't. - 'Cause God gave us that or somebody. Do you think that this pilot's ever actually gonna come to fruition? Do you think it's gonna happen? - I think it will in like a crappy way, like on YouTube, 'cause remember she made that movie about like the weird voodoo thing that happened in the islands, like in the Caribbean, and-- - I do not. - She did. - Oh, I need to go on YouTube 'cause that shit's amazing. - There seems to be, it seems like there's an emergency outside, by the way, I think that maybe like MJ fell into like a stack of pancakes across the street. - MJ can't get her peanut butter jar open over there. (laughing) Shahza Sunset is coming back, by the way, finally. - Just you wait. It's just to happen. - That's some versions, speaking of Uber, I think I did, I mentioned this on one of bonus episodes or something that like, I had an Uber, like I took an Uber to Gigi from Shahza Sunset, like I literally dropped someone off and Gigi was waiting for her, it was very strange. - Oh, wow. - I know, I know, I know, I know, I know. - Great story, everyone, for me. - Yeah, great story. Glad you brought that up again. - That's what I meant to look forward to. - Ben, are we in a relationship 'cause I'm like snarking at you all day and I don't even mean to. - Well, Ronnie, I love you. It doesn't matter, you can snark at me all you want because, you know what, so here, it's funny. This is a sidebar, it has nothing to do with Bravo, but so last week, Ronnie and I played Settlers of Catan, it's Ronnie's first time. - I think that's what started it, actually, 'cause I got used to being like, "You're a jerk!" in that game. (laughing) We played Settlers of Catan with the first time with Sylvia, our friend Sylvia, and it was hilarious because Ronnie was like, out of the gate, Ronnie was destroying us, and he just was like, he was just doing so well, and he just kept on like, he was just taking us down, and yet, as Sylvia noted, she's like, it's strange how he just fosters goodwill. Like, he can be destroying us in this game, but we still wanna trade with him, we still wanna like, help him out and everything. It's just like, 'cause everything that Ronnie does, he's like, "Okay, I'm gonna build this here." And you know, it's just destroying your chances at that. And he doesn't have this smile, and you're like, "Oh yeah, yeah, you do that, Ronnie." - No, 'cause you guys were being supportive of a newbie. - We were. - And anyway, you ended up picking everybody's butt anyway. - You'd be a perfect housewife. - Yeah, you would be a perfect, you were like the Claudia of Settlers of Catan. - I would be that housewife. I would be like Carol from Real Housewives of New York, where I would like, just be fun, and everybody would be like, "Oh, he's so fun." But then you'd see what I'm saying behind everybody's back. Like in my diet, and everybody would be like, "Fuck you." Like it'd get to be the reunion time, and they'd be like, "Who are you to say that about me, "you old fat bitch?" And I'd be like, "What, what'd I say?" - It'd be like, you know, I thought you were my ally on the island of Catan, and then it turns out that you were hoarding all the brick cards, okay? So fuck you. - Caroline loved brick cards. - The Settlers of Catan Reunion hosted by Andy Cohen. (laughing) Andy Cohen would be like, "Joyce from New Jersey calls and says, "Hey, Ronnie, you certainly seem to say that you hated bricks, "but for someone who hated bricks, you had a lot of bricks. "Do you think you could talk about that?" - Zoom. - The caffeine is kicking in. 'Cause I'm, this is like my favorite, I think this is my favorite moment of the podcast history is somehow merging Bravo into the Settlers of Catan. (laughing) - Okay, I would like to thank Jackie the Soap Lady for sending me a box of homemade soaps. Those are amazing, I smell so good. So if anybody has homemade Adderall that they'd like to send me, I'm getting a PO box. Speaking of caffeine. Okay, that was just a quick public service. Okay, so what else happened on ATL? Okay, the big stuff that happened. - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 'Cause the big thing is Phaedra, right? But before we get to that, why don't we talk about Candy and Todd? 'Cause that's like the next one up. - Oh no, this is tough. - This is because I hate saying Mama Joyce is right. - Well no, Mama had it. - Well, Mama Joyce was right, 100%. This guy's a piece of shit. - Yeah. - He is and he's like wheezing his way into her enterprises and causing them to fail. I mean, I don't know. Mama Joyce is still an asshole. - Mama Joyce is an asshole. And the only reason she knew that he was a piece of shit is because it takes one to know one. And she saw, she smelled. - That is the damn truth. You know something and not for nothing, all of Candy's problems are because of her mother. The whole, her whole rationale, her whole way of thinking, that girl is so abused and that relationship with her mother is so toxic and codependent. She is incapable of being in a healthy relationship because her core relationship, her foundation is rotten. So there's no way that she knows how to find a good partner. And it's so sad because like you want her to win. She is like so likable. She seems like a good person. I think Candy has like such a good heart, but man, she like, she is broke as fuck, broken meaning like her, her spirit is broken. - Oh yeah, yeah. - This one's, this is gonna be bad, I think. This is not gonna end well. - Yeah, well the fact that he needs a break from her, like he's gonna go to LA and then-- - It's awful. I was so embarrassed for her. I was like, like it seems so like she's desperate. Like, you know-- - Like what does he-- - He's insane. - What does he need to-- - And what does he need to break for? Like, doesn't he have guys in Atlanta? Like, he should be so lucky. He should be so lucky he's not allowed to do that relationship. - Yeah. - And while letting all her things tank, you know? See? Nah, Todd. - Yes, in the meantime letting her things tank. That's exactly right. He's fucking up her jobs and her show's closing and he was supposed to be in charge of that, but he's, I didn't even think about that. And now he's-- - And tried to turn it and like make it, well, did you do this? Did you do that? And it's like, full, that was your job. - You know what he is? He is total, you know what he is? He's middle management, you know? He has a lot to say about-- - Yeah, that depends on Applebee's manager, for sure. - Yeah. - Maybe. - Yeah. I mean, I don't think that he is the con artist that Mama Joyce says that he is, but I think though that he should be so lucky that he is with Candy Burris. Candy Burris is the one keeping him afloat and he keeps on acting as if he's the one bringing all the value to the relationship and that's just not right. - And another unfortunate mistake that I saw coming, in the beginning she handled everything so poorly with her mother that I think that she set the tone and he is, I think that he is also very angry with her because of all that still and he's taking it out on her. I think so too. I think that's a very good point because it's not like, you know, you're right. That's just a good point. - It's not fair for him to be mad. - I don't think it's fair for him to be mad because that's one of those situations where you know exactly what you're getting into. She did not hide it. She didn't lie and say, I'll fix it with my mom or I'll put you ahead of my mom or anything. I mean, she was pretty honest. She was like, my mom may be a crazy bitch but she's my mom and I love her and that's it. She's always gonna win. And if you marry into that, you cannot suddenly start complaining a month into your marriage that you're not gonna have sex with your wife because you're too stressed about the mom or whatever. This guy's a total climber and he's getting what he wants. He's actually got some of his own success now and doesn't need her as much and so he's like, fuck her. Meanwhile, she's getting all fat. Yeah, and she's getting all fat and cry because she's so insecure about it and it's killing me watching her deal with this fucking midget because he's got some stupid show on like Bop or like whatever channel she has. Don't call that show stupid. Well, the thing is also like. That show is like a real housewives show but like costumed by Walmart. Okay, I've seen that show. Hey, it has Lisa Buhartwell. It has Lisa Buhartwell. It sure does. Lisa Wu, just Lisa Wu. Acting. But the thing is that like, you know, he's doing the most manipulative thing of all which is that he's trying, he's wheezing his way in and trying to convince her and that he's like indispensable. Like if she gets rid of like like he is essential to her operations and it's, that's not true. He's essential to her vagina. Her operations were doing way better without him. Exactly. Yeah. What about she needs from him? She has everything else. And one thing that we do know about Katie though, she does not play with the money. It's so, I mean, I'm sure there's an ironclad prenup. I wasn't that part of like the negotiation of the marriage. Oh yeah, that was the big one. Yeah, but she got one didn't she? Yeah, oh yeah, she did last second. Yeah, he's, you know, the thing is we're all on Todd's side and he has just been like a bitch about everything. You know, he's, he kind of is an asshole. And if you think about it, I mean, you know, he got up with Candy when he was like a PA or something on the show and that's sort of a questionable professional line to cross, you know. So it just sort of shows his morals. If I may take a page from Mama Joyce. Well, Candy's awesome. I mean, I get it. I mean, well, she's gay. She is. And she was making some crazy noises this episode. I was going to record them. But one of them is a ringtone. I made one of them a ringtone. We've got so many candy ringtones. But one of them is candy going, girl girl girl girl. It's like an old timey radio trying to get reception. [SINGING] I think that's what happened. [SINGING] Mama, help. Be able to just-- [SINGING] Yeah, she sounds like you're trying to connect to AOL in the '90s. Yeah. [SINGING] [SINGING] [SINGING] [SINGING] Hey, it's an email from papa. [SINGING] [SINGING] [SINGING] [SINGING] [SINGING] It's a little fax machine. [SINGING] [SINGING] [SINGING] [SINGING] [SINGING] [SINGING] [SINGING] [SINGING] I could listen to that all day. [SINGING] [SINGING] [SINGING] We should just tell people, oh, we got a new ringer of Candy's voice. It's just the sound of a fax machine. [SINGING] So, OK, so why don't we get to the real meat and potatoes, the zebra, which is the real? [SINGING] [SINGING] [SINGING] [SINGING] The small potato. Yeah. [SINGING] [SINGING] [SINGING] Now, ah. [SINGING] [SINGING] [SINGING] [SINGING] [SINGING] [SINGING] [SINGING] [SINGING] Now, so Apollo went crazy. Oh, my God. OK. Well, this was great. He got crazy? Yes. I mean, he didn't kill her. I mean, he could have. [SINGING] I wouldn't have been surprised if he had whipped out, like, a weapon or something because he was pissed. He did, but he did take out a weapon. He had a drill in his hand at one point. You sure did. Bage, by the way. I mean, that shows you how much work he's actually done around the house. Like, who's going to drill somebody to death? That's like the dumbest weapon I've ever seen. That bucket of screws and bolts and nuts didn't just, like, you know, find themselves there. Somebody had to go to Home Depot and buy them. That was his whole argument. He's like, "Look, I built this house. Look, I went to Home Depot. Look at all these light switches." It's like Apollo. None of those are on the house, which means you didn't do shit. You just spent a bunch of money. It is. He's like, "I built this grass. I built that tree." He's like, "Look at all these supplies. I never used on the house." Yeah, that's not a good argument. Yeah. So, what I love is, Badra hires a locksmith. And she's like, "I would like to change the locks in the door." The locksmith's like, "May I ask what for? Why, why?" I'm like, "What locksmith asks? This is not like the DMV or something." I don't know. It's like, please electronically sign this form and a five-page agreement. Like, just change a fucking locks. Whether you have a CD driver or Jesus Christ. What do you want an award? And what a man, too. Like, Apollo's there like, "Bitch, I'll kill you." And he's like, "Oh, I'm on my phone, so I'll just be right over here talking on my phone." Exactly. How about you not let this woman get killed on the job? Yeah, exactly. Um, yeah, so he's changing the locks and then Apollo comes storming up. And, uh, it was, it was definitely awkward. It was definitely like... Well, L.O.L.A. Faedra changing the locks the morning he goes to... God, Faedra. But she had a good point, 'cause I thought that, too, but her thing was she didn't... He had been out cleaning the streets, running the streets, as she said. And she didn't... That's actually a good point, because he could have easily just been giving her keys out and just, like, inviting people to go over there and do what they want. Exactly. And let's not forget, we're actually overlooking the first part of the episode, which is that Apollo brought up all these texts showing that Faedra was... Oh, God. Mr. Chocolate. Mr. Chocolate. Yeah, like, I think it's our, like, 15th African man. Visible African man on this show. Like, there's a whole other show somewhere, like, in, I don't know, like, Libya, or, like, Congo of, like, the real house men of the real housewives. And not for nothing. With the exception of Ben's acquaintance, we all adore, but who's totally booed up. Where are all these amazing, eligible, Nigerian billionaires? I mean, like, where do I get in line for that? I, I'd like a Bentley. Wait. I'd like a Mizz bag. Yeah. We have to find, we have to find these African princes for people. There's obviously, there's some place where they're easily accessible, and they have very low standards. Perfect. Sign me up. And apparently, the exchange rate's good, because they're buying a lot of expensive shit here. It's like, what going to Mexico used to be like? Like, I'm going to Mexico to buy my car. It's $5. Yeah. Let me go to Atlanta, find me a woman. Yeah, $5. It'll get me a Bentley there. Do you guys think that Pedro was actually, like, texting with a guy? 100% or do you think that Apollo had somehow, like, fabricated these texts? Oh, no. Apollo's too stupid. Apollo can't even speak English. He is not going to know how to fabricate a text. And then he wouldn't get so upset about it. He's good at it. I mean, identity theft is kind of his thing. Well, obviously not. Oh. You're obviously not good at it. Yeah. This is some shit that Kenya has put in that little peanut head. And because, you know, she's not, she, the whole African prince thing. I mean, this is Cameron all over it. And then we see in the next episode, can you throw it in her face? That's a good point. Oh, yeah. Immediately. Yeah. But you're, so you're saying that Kenya was texting you? Kenya made all this up. He planted this seed in dumb, dumb's head. And where would he get all the texts? I mean, I'm surprised he didn't have a phone. And then, and then he said, like, oh, I sent the text to myself. You can't send text here. So maybe it meant the picture. I was on. I think he screenshotted them. I was thinking he screenshotted them and sent them to him. Yeah. Who knows? I just think that this is some stuff that that he and Kenya are in. Or inclusion to, to create this thing. It seems like that to me because he's definitely not smart enough. And even if, if she were, who cares? Yeah. It's really matter at this point. Well, that basically just, that's my point. Like this guy just basically threw his family in the trash can. And he's acting like she did something wrong by not. Well, he's also. You're leaving me alone there in my sentencing. And you're leaving me alone there. Yeah. Why the fuck would she want to take the kids to watch her husband get sentenced? You fucking moron. You just threw away your family. Like you lose. Bye. Have fun in jail. And of course he's going to divorce your stupid ass a second year in there. Yeah. Well, he's, he's a little deluded that he thinks he, like when he was barging around in the house, he was like, don't move that. He's not there. He's not there. He's like a backup. Like in eight years, a box is never going to get moved. You know, like he's a little, I don't think he understands the way things work. Like over time that things change, things move. And that if you ask to like, have your shoes left at the door for, so they may, they may be moved in eight years when you come back. Yeah. They're going to be. Your house, your children, your entire life. They're a entity. You better have some money for me when I get out. Nope. Sorry. You're going to be lucky if you get out. Because you know that Faedra has some big dicked, like some stripper with a meth problem in there just waiting to kill Apollo's ass. He's going to, he's going to soak his ass shank if he starts any crap with her. Strangled by a giant dick stripper. Yeah. He's going to be strength. He's going to be choked to death with ridiculous is dick. I like that. This is the thing that offended Angie of all the things. The strangulation by a big dick stripper. And the other thing is like, I don't, I will never fully buy that she's not involved anyways. So, I mean, that's where all this anger is coming from. He's mad because he's taking the rap. That's the whole, I think that's wrong. Well, that's what I've been saying the whole time too. But I'm starting to doubt it because I feel like he would have outed her by now. Like he's so mad by now. And he's at least intelligent enough to know that she's leaving him. I mean, he's seen a lawyer. He's done. He's gone that whole route and he knows that he's shit out of luck. So why is he not blackmailing her? Or why is he not come out yet and said? Well, because maybe he doesn't want his kit. Well, he's maybe he's worried about those. He doesn't care about those. And by the way, the other reason why I think that he may have made up those texts is because that way the text is because it gives him like a, I think maybe with a divorce, it would give him some sort of thing like, oh, she was cheating on me, something like that. Like I think he was trying to get some of that. But at the same time though, he apparently then threatened her. Oh, that was the best. Oh my God. That's what I love. When he's talking to Peter and Peter's like, yeah, I can find a fager about it. And Peter's like, well, what'd you say? He's like, well, I told her this is what people get killed over this. I'm like, oh, real smart, real smart, convicted criminal, like mentioning that, you know, alluding to death threats. Yeah, when you're even making Peter uncomfortable, that's that's pretty bad. What'd you say to her? What'd you say to her? Oh, you threatened to kill her? Oh, man. Oh, man. Part of me is as horrible as all that was. There is still part of me that I was so sad because poor Apollo never had a shot. I mean, we've seen his family. Yeah. That kid was born in the street. This was going to be his life, no matter if he met Bader or not. Like this was going to be his destiny. Unfortunately, it's same, Bader, however, like she knew what she was getting into when she married him. Like, I will just, that's why she kind of bothers me. Now she's doing this whole like preachers darter with a stone before the rainbow gone calm. She's like, you know what? You need to have so many damn seats because she is educated. She comes from a supposedly this like self righteous Christian, good family. And she ran off and married a convict. And now it's like clutch and pearls. Oh, my didn't know. Let me, you know, I was just like, give me a huge break. Part of me feels like game knows game in her core. I think that she is shady as hell. Yeah. And she's just smart enough to clean her mess up. Yeah. Yeah. She's a smart cookie. I mean, the whole time she, why would you deal with some man? When you have, when you're like a strong black woman like Pedro who's got all your business, why the hell are you going to stand around and wait for some man to control your life and tell you when you're going to have a bait. I mean, it's almost the ultimate in feminism if you think about it. She went, she got this guy who used to work for her and then went to jail. So she knew she could control a stupid ass. He's fine as hell. She climbed into his dorm room. Like from what he makes it sound like he was staying in a homeless shelter or some shit, but she was coming over, you know, like some dumpy little room. I know I was just trying to think of like a tiny room. Suddenly she's gone to college. That's a very white perspective. Yeah. Well, you know, he, she climbed into the dormant dormitory at nine. Oh, whatever. The tiny home immediately changed at the homeless shelter. He was staying over his cousin's house, you know, peanut. Yeah. He stayed over with bun. What? What? He's like, bun, bun, you better go get him. I'll call the police. He said he'll ruin his lap, bun. But you know, the thing is, I love the way Phaedra was acting. When Apollo came storming through, because she was cool as a cucumber, you know, until she wasn't, but she was like, she pretty much was the whole time. But then she got a little freaked was when he started, like, actually coming at her. But then, but when she get, then her voice, oh, I loved it because she was calm. She's like, you better not come near me. Like she, when she raised her voice a little bit, like, it sort of had all the heft of like, like, you believed her threat. Like, it wasn't, you know, that's why some people, someone like Nini is worthless. Cause she's all noise all the time. But someone like Phaedra, who's cool as a cucumber. And then when she starts to like unleash that anger, it's like scary, you know? Oh, yeah. And we know he's violent because the other thing that bothers me is like a few years ago, when he tried to kill Brandon. And, um, so we've seen that side of him. I mean, it definitely, like, look at this guy. I mean, he's, this is what he's about. So we all know he's capable of being very violent. And it's like, well, if he's just beaten okay guys, then whatever. But now it's like, we're also shocked and upset. Like that's what he is. Yeah, he's an animal. And honestly, when he, when he did pick up that drill and when he picked up that drill, totally innocently, and then walked over to Phaedra, I was like, don't call the police. To become like the wild. It was like, it was a little scary. I thought so like whispering. And then the other guys like on the ladder trying to like disappear. Like, you know, that kind of like, homelessness and disappearing into the hedges. That's what he was doing. He was like, Oh, I just came over here to do this. Yeah. And I mean, you better not call the police. I'm going to fix that bathroom door. I'll do it. I'll do it, Phaedra. I just like that he obviously is trying to be violent, but he's kind of a midget too. Like everyone on this show has an attraction to like really show. He was violent because the camera was there. Although, like she said, he had nothing to lose. I mean, it was, I mean, it was, it was a tense moment. If the cameras weren't there, I'm not convinced that it would have gone over as. Oh, no. I think it would have been way worse. Yeah. I mean, that's why she's changing the locks. Hmm. Well, screw that guy. He's in jail now. Hmm. I wish we could get Apollo updates. Like we get Teresa updates. Yeah. Teresa, like she even has decent PR in prison. Like, honestly, if you think about all the shit that this woman did, the fact that she still gets good PR is really weird. But she does. People are like rooting for Teresa. But everything I've read is like Teresa's working out five times a day and looks amazing. And so she stopped wearing makeup. Her skin looks great. And then they show her like what their hairline down to her nose like smiling, smiling wisely. I'm like, I've never seen a wise smile on Teresa. I guess they're force feeding like children's books down her throat or something. By the way, if there's, if it's any consolation to people, there's a headline by the Inquisitor, one of the great journalistic sources on the web. Uh, saying, uh, Teresa Giudice Giudice is allowed to watch Empire and Scandal. So, you know what? The world is okay. Everything's okay. Could you imagine watching those shows with Teresa the whole time she'd be like, huh? What are they talking about? What are they doing? Who's that? What's happening? What's happening on the Empire's is she'd be the friend. She'd be like, who's the umpire? When are they, when do they play baseball? What are they? Who is that? I've got my friend cookie. Why isn't cookie up? I don't understand. My friend cookie is white. Why is he up there? Why is I don't understand? Well, who's the black girl playing cookie? Cookie's white. She's supposed to be white. I love cookies. I can't have cookies though. Defending. Oh. She's like, hey, you have to, why don't you send your edition tape to Empire Records. They're doing a lot of good things right now. She's like, okay, mom. My mom loves cookies. Shake my ass around on the camera. Cookies. It's cookie time. Yeah. So, Teresa's doing well. She's working out a lot. Glad she's getting her squats in. Yeah. Because she's going to need it for her spin-off show. So, maybe that's why how his people are that same. He kind of pretty much like sealed his fate with the bravo audience. Yeah. But he's still hot. He still has that. I don't think so anymore. You know, he's one of those guys like his face to me is just ugly now. I think it's gross. It doesn't look right. Like, everything's too close together on his face. And it's like the facial features are too small for his big giant muscle head. Like, I don't like him anymore. People's personalities ruin their physiques and their good looks. And that's why gay people fuck and then talk later. Because you don't want to ruin that. Yeah. No. Writing that note. Writing that one there. All right. Why don't we move on to, um, should we move on to the wedding in the century? Um. That says I'm going wrong. Play it over. Play it again. We are first talking about Vanderpump rules. I took a bunch of notes, everyone. For some reason, I always feel motivated to take lots of notes on Vanderpump rules and nothing else. Um. Because Vanderpump rules doesn't follow as much of a, uh, strict, uh, formula. It kind of changes it up every week. So you have to pay a little bit more attention. It's not just like, Hey, let's go to a tea party. And there are also a cancer party. Yeah. There are also like too many gems that come at you. Like it's just, you, it's too much. You just have to like write them down. Otherwise like it's like a crime against you, man. You not to like mention all the crazy shit that happens on that show every single week. Um, I have to say especially. So, you know, we always complain about weddings on Bravo. We hate weddings on Bravo. It's like they're just, it's the same thing over and over again. I would say the exception is the Shino wedding. I feel like this is a wedding that I thoroughly enjoyed from beginning to end because I don't think Bravo really tried to make this look magical and wonderful. I think Bravo was like delighting in the fact that it was all going wrong. And the irony is it was actually a lovely wedding. It was a lovely wedding. But Shino is such a like bridezilla. She didn't even realize how nice her wedding was. Um, yeah. Well, she's, she's too much of her own ass to even see what's going on around there. I hate when brides act like that at their wedding. Like everything's going wrong. I'm not an idiot. No, no, no. It's supposed to be, you're supposed to be the most beautiful ever. And you're acting like a heartbeat. Just stop it. All this shit was donated. You found this bitch on Instagram. You know she's working for $5. And Shino's like, um, I'm paying her thousands of dollars. You did not pay that bitch thousands of dollars. That girl is wearing like a marshal's clearance. That's not even like one of the store marshals. That's like backed by the fucking copper chickens. Does she? Yeah, that's. Come on. Yeah, um, I mean, you knew that like, I mean, Shino, the thing is this. Shino is just an awful person, materialistic person. And the fact that like she pretty much opened the episode saying, I haven't, I have a husband. Like none of my other friends have a husband. That's just awesome. You know. Well, I bet they do in Azusa bitch. Yeah. Maybe your friends in Hollywood don't, but I'm sure all of Azusa had babies. Like before you were even done with high school. Come on now. Yeah, exactly. I'm from El Paso, Texas, and I'm sure that ain't too far from Azusa, like mentally. Yeah. It's better Mexican food. So, um, this episode was about sort of like the wedding reception. And, uh, it began actually with, uh, horseface number one, uh, encountering Lisa Vanderpump, which was hilarious because horseface decides to try to be like all professional and like, and polite at first. So she's like, huh, Lisa, how are you today? You look wonderful. How are you this evening, ma'am? I know. But, uh, good day to you. This Vanderpump tip of the hat. Seriously? You look lovely. Seriously? [laughter] Seriously? I wish this to you and yours, ma'am. This episode is sponsored by DoorDash. We're back to tell you more about the latest dash pass annual plan benefit. Extreme max with abs included at no extra cost. 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Hers weight loss is not available everywhere, compounded products are not FDA approved or verified for safety, effectiveness, or quality, prescription required restrictions apply. [laughter] Ma'am, you look wonderful. I hope you've had a wonderful day so far, seriously. [laughter] Ma'am, that dress looks wonderful on you. Well, it actually did on Elizabeth Hurley 25 years ago. Do you remember the very first time we saw Elizabeth Hurley when she came out with you, Grant? She wore like the very first Versace, well, I'm aging myself, but the first time we ever saw Versace, on a celebrity was on Elizabeth Hurley. Hugh Grant took her to the Oscars and she wore that dress and it was basically like big gold safety pins holding it to get. It was so hot on a 23-year-old Liz Hurley. Right. Yeah. Seriously, you're wearing some vintage Versace. Seriously, it looks wonderful though. Seriously, how are you? [laughter] I know what Liz is doing. Yeah. [laughter] But then that quickly devolved because then for Elizabeth- This is just so outwardly a C-word. I love it. The Housewives has been so good for her because she's really honed her C-wordiness and doesn't try and hide it at all. She's just like, "Hello darling, so what are you doing now?" Like, you're fired, so obviously you've got to be doing something. And Kristen's like, "You know, partying, pissy, crispy, you know, acting again." [laughter] It's wonderful. I should have quit a long time ago, seriously. Did I hear her say she worked there for seven years? Yeah. But it hasn't been open for seven years. Like, this is the biggest confusing thing about this show. They opened, sir, at the end of, I believe season two of Housewives. That's when they opened, the finale party was the opening of sir. And that was three years ago. That was the sir lounge that they opened up. Oh, so sir was already a restaurant and then they just opened the lounge? No, it was like a, it was like a nothing restaurant. It was like a small little restaurant. It was like, you know, people went there, but it was like, you know- But then everyone mentioned it on the show. There, there, there are all these, because it was like a, because season one of Lisa, she was a banner pump. She was focused on Villa Blanca. I think she was focusing all her attention there, but it was known that she owned sir too. And, you know, it was like, sir, it was like one of many of these. There are, there are a bunch of these like restaurants in Boys Town. These kind of generic, Euro-trashy restaurants that are, like, like, Cafe, like, Cafe Hwal. You know, like, it's like a nothing, it's like a restaurant that is like a little overpriced and serves as vaguely European thing that basically like old theater queens think like it's so fancy. You know, it's, it's just like not good. You know, and that's what sir is. And it was. But now it has a higher profile. Oh, okay. I've just always been confused because they keep, the years keep changing. Like, how long it's been open, but I think they just opened three years ago. Okay. I get it now. Either way, like, core space, you know, she quickly goes from being polite to being passive aggressive. And then, and then she's like, well, you never liked me. Seriously, you never liked me, which is, you know, classic horse-based victimization. And they sort of get into like a little spat. And I love that, like, at the end of the spat, horse-based gives us like super awkward hug. Like, again, trying to be polite again. And Lisa's like, what does everything have ended up? Oh, yeah. Hug off. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, that was like good. Yeah. Lisa's, this whole week on both this show and on Beverly Hills, Lisa was just totally, you know, destroying all her. It seems very funny on all of us. The horse-based Lisa was just destroyed them all. I don't like your attitude, darling. No, you don't like me. No, I don't like your attitude. No. Good fighting, good arguing skills. And then Lisa's just standing there looking at her like she's the biggest fucking moron she's ever seen until she slinks away with her tail between her legs. She's just like rolled her eyes. Lisa's basically staring at her being like, I'm richer than you. I'm more famous than you and I'm smarter than you. So no matter what you say, you're still going to be worthless. Yeah. She's like, you can't compete, babe. Bye. Yeah. Meanwhile, we then had a scene of Sheena and not Sheena. I'm Stasi and Christina. Stasi makes her-- Oh, my God. Can you believe those losers at the wedding? It's like everybody is there but us. What losers? Let's have a drink and like try and find pictures of them on Instagram to prove what losers they are. It's like, bitches, you're in a chilis with like obviously watered down vodka and chips. Okay. You lost. Let's just face. Yeah. I know. This was Stasi's big return was heard. Just see me like this pathetic outsider to this wedding. Where's that crop top wedding dress? That's her thing, Stasi. I didn't know if you knew this, but crop tops are her thing. So that's kind of her thing. And by the way, I erroneously labeled last week's episode. I made a halter pun, but I really should have been a crop top pun, so I'm sorry. Oh, well, I don't make any puns. You can tell who's producing what weeks because I'm just like, "Real housewives of Atlanta post." That's why I do the bonus episodes. Those episodes I just say like SNL and Empire. That's all I say. That's what I did. Yeah, and it says Stasi was basically being like, "Who does that being worthless?" Jax, meanwhile, Jax was just like a big O for this episode. He was like, he's still going after this Carmen check, and he's like- Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. He's like, "I'm not pursuing her, but I'm not pursuing her." But he didn't even say that. He's so stupid. He's like, "I'm not pursuing her, but I'm not not pursuing her." I was like, "Do you know how many knots you just put in there? You're basically pursuing her stupid. Can't you're not?" He is so stupid. Oh, yeah. Yeah. What? Does he always go around begging like that? That's not a good look. No, he's like the classic aging Spengali. He's losing his looks. He's run out of girls to bang, and he has this one girl left, and he's begging for it. And she don't want it. Well, look at that big old waterhead he's got, he needs to stop drinking. Because you know how some people when they drink, well, men, he's got that big Alec Baldwin balloon head thing, it's not cute. Is that from drinking? I mean, I have a gigantic head. I don't feel like I drink that much. Some people when they drink, but his neck is all swollen. He just, to me, looks like a bad loaded drinking head. His face is turning into a cookie bus, basically. He looks like a giant cookie bus on top. Oh, no. Okay, that too. Yeah, I guess you guys haven't been to Carvel. No, what's a cookie bus? Carvel, Carvel ice cream, their signature cake is cookie bus. And if you look it up, that's what Jack's looks like now. It's like this big, weird looking thing. Yeah. Trust me. Too much rubber in his face. Yeah. And then remember he was like, "I'll fuck a factory." Hey. Yeah. That's when it starts going downhill. I have a cousin like that. He was always so beautiful. He was just so handsome. And everybody wanted him, even other cousins. We were like, "Wow, he's amazing." And then he was just so arrogant. And he fucked everybody in town. And then as he ages, he does this weird facial hair thing. And he tries to be tattooed and earrings and not take a shower to be cool. It's like, "Dude, now you're just a 50-year-old aging kind of fat smooth. Kind of fat, smelly person." And he's still chasing around ass like he can get it. It's just so sad. It reminds me of Jack's. Yeah. Jack's is-- Especially when you don't have any money. I feel mad for Jack's. In 10 years, Jack's is going to be a real tragic case. That's for sure. He's going to be back with that old queen in Miami cleaning a pool. He certainly will be. Riding some semi-hard white big poor guy. Yeah. It won't be long before the Jack's sex tape comes out. That's for sure. Oh, God. Imagine. He'll be spitting everywhere while he talks. He'll have food on the corner of his mouth. It'll be called One Night in Jacksonville. Oh. Oh, smell. The girl will be like Julie Roberts and refuse to kiss him because you'll have bad breath. Yeah. He's gross. All I think about now is his bad breath ever since they said he had bad breath. That's all I can think about. Oh, I forgot about that. Jack, who I can't believe, Kristen, but have sex with Jack since breath is disgusting. That was Tom's first reaction. His breath is so bad. Kristen. Kristen. No. No. Meanwhile, Sheena, so then what happens next is that Sheena had a meltdown because they were having the entrances of the bridal party, and then Sheena and Shay were going to walk in, and they had a song where they were going to do some sort of choreography, and the DJ started playing a different song, and then so Sheena started to flip out. She's like, we have to come out to the exact point or defeat the whole purpose. This is pointless as if she were going out on Dancing with a Star. She's like, the whole reception is fucked. And then they played a song, and it's like on your ass on your ass, and you're posting your ass, and she's like twerking around. And we used to be like, well, I thought it would be at last, darling. But this is good too. But the thing is that the choreography for when she finally did make her entrance was so basic, it was basically her put her hands in the air, like dancing. Yeah, they just jumped up and down. I was like, this is the moment, this is the moment that was supposed to make sense. Like, if turned down for what had played as originally planned, it would all make sense. The reception would be elevated to a new plateau. Yeah, it doesn't. You didn't play at the Azir, it was a national anthem. Yeah, you were supposed to play two pennies in the bus, all for one chicken. And they never played, hey, what's the dollar dance? You're supposed to play, I want my baby back, baby back, baby back ribs, okay. We're supposed to do a dollar dance, but instead of giving us dollars, people give us lottery tickets, and we came up with that one. We're supposed to do our dance where everyone gives us kill bosses. I don't know. I'd dance for that. I don't know, isn't there some sort of polka dance in Pennsylvania where you give kill bosses to the bride? I don't know. Yeah. And then I love how they did, and then how about when she makes this announcement? She's like, everyone, I want to thank you all for commenting. I'm so happy, but please don't drink some of the dance floor because we don't want to go in class because I want to hear my thought really bad, I'm broken glass. I can't believe you're a drink. I can't believe you're a drink of drinks. I was the dance floor. Don't you know what happened to me? Oh, Senor. Oh, Senor, you're awful. Can I ask you guys something as I have stated before? I don't fuck with this show, but let me ask you something. Is the reason that this show, no, I mean, I'm just, I'm, I'm observing. It's the reason this show is so popular because people miss like Laguna in the hills. Is that sort of what that's, is that the feel? I think part of it, but Laguna in the hills were much classier compared to this show. I think it's, they were, they were. I think, I think first of all, isn't Tyler, isn't, isn't Pratt Spencer Pratt. Fall out of that. Yeah. He did, but, and yet he spends her Pratt, Spencer Pratt is like Prince Charles compared to these guys, but the thing is I think that people started watching random pump rules because of like hate watching, and the difference is that with like the hills and Laguna, the drama was kind of like, it would bubble over every now and then, but it was more or less pretty tame. It's funny that though, because Stacy, the bridesmaid, one, or one of the, one of the women in the bridal party was on the hills, but, you know, I think what's, I think what people watch the show is that these are. Yeah. I think people are like intrigued by how depraved and selfish these people are. You know, they all cheat on each other, and they all act hideously every single week, and they see the stupidest shit. So it's almost like train wreck TV, you know? Mm hmm. Okay. I think it's comforting. Got it. I mean, in case in point, how about horse face, and her boyfriend, James, when James starts to get drunk at the wedding, and he becomes totally belligerent. He was, I was like, this is what happens when you did a 21 year old. This is what happens. Yeah. Yeah. He does not know how to handle his boobs. Oh my god. And that came out of nowhere. He's like, Kristin, why are you going Kristin? It's like, why did you tell me about the buffet with started? Of course. Of course. This is the way it goes. You told Tom about the buffet, but you don't tell me. Oh, so Tom's hungry. I don't have a stomach, Kristin. Isn't that lucky? I'm not hungry. Don't worry about me. Kristin? Well, I'm sure that Tom enjoyed having the pasta, but I didn't have any because I didn't get to know about the buffet. Thanks a lot, Kristin. The only thing that was missing was I was waiting on him to, like, take his gloves off and, like, smack that that guy from Portlandia with the cigarette across the face. Oh, yeah. It was the worst. The hipster Muay Thai trainer. Oh, congratulations. That guy wins, like, the worst of LA. Like, hips. You need to stay out wherever they were. Oh, he was awful. And he's like, get out of a face, man. Like, your fake British accent is not going to help here. Okay. Trainer. And I say that with quotation marks around it. She's like, I hit him. I hit him because I had to. He made me do it. Yeah, she really did. She really got her. She got her hoof right up on his face. I'm not for violence, but God, he needed to be punched. He did. See, that's what this show is so fascinating because it's like, the worst person at any given time always changes. You think horse face is the worst and then James is just being. Kristin, where you go? Oh, you're supposed to be my girlfriend, Kristin. Kristin. Oh, so you're going to leave with this guy? Kristin. You don't care about anyone. You don't care about any bloody person but yourself and Tom, Kristin. That's why you're 31 and no one will marry you, Kristin. Whoa, I was like, really? Wait until your ass is 31. You're going to be bald in fact. I wish Danny DeVito won that man. That's what I'm hoping for. I'm hoping God watches Vanderpump rules and he pulls a Danny DeVito on him. Just shortens him, takes his hair, gives him some back hair, makes him fat. Of course, he doesn't deserve the beautiful Rhea Pearlman either. So maybe I take it back. That's right. Thank you very much. Meanwhile, speaking of marriages, then Tom Schwartz brings Katie to like a little bench. That's like his favorite move is like in the middle of a social event, he likes to pull her over to the corner and drops and throw a truth bomb on her that makes her cry. So he pulls out a ring on a string and she says and she starts to cry because it's not what she wants. She wanted an actual engagement ring, not like a ring on a necklace. Ring on a string. Ring on a string. She's like we're at a wedding, I'm possibly pregnant with your child. And this is not what a 30 year old woman wants to hear, Tom. Yeah. And then it cuts to her in a confessional and she's like, sometimes I want to get married in the summer and sometimes I want to get married in the fall. Yeah, that was funny. She's like, you know, my wedding, like I want a blue dress and sometimes I think about the Asian babies I'm going to have and sometimes I don't. But I mean, it's fun to think about, but I don't obsess over it. But I mean, I would have a dollar dance, but like a $10 dance. It's like she keeps going. Poor thing. That's not the one. And if that is the one who's going to be cheating on you while you're pregnant, like you could do better. Okay. You're not as hot as you think you are, but you're still hotter than a lot of people. Like book yourselves a discount Southwest Airlines thing and just point to some place and land there and get a job waiting tables there. And maybe someone will flirt with you or something. I don't know. It's just turning into Alice. A Vanderpump rules in Alice. I would watch. Alice. Or they all have to have sex with big Tay back. Oh my God. If it was Vanderpump. Yes. If it was Vanderpump rules, but in like a shitty little truck stop, that show would be amazing. I'd like that. Oh my gosh. And Lisa would come in with jiggy. Yeah. Lisa would be like, all right, everybody, listen up. Here's the new menu. We're serving hot dogs and nachos. It would be sexy. Very sexy. Chef Penning has an innovation. Okay. Cetchup and mustard on the side. How sexy is that darling? I mean, this is going to be the sexiest truck stop food you've ever had. They have a gigantic thing of flowers. Just like weeds that she's picked up on the side. Chef Penning is going to provide something that you're just going to relish. It's just going to be called relish because it's just so relish. I've painted my trailer the color of weeds because they're my favorite flower, darling. And I want them in this restaurant. When I come into this restaurant, I just want towers of weeds. Right, darling? I just want all the waiters to be wearing overalls. Very sexy to go with the sexy food from Chef Penning. Sir, Villa Blanca is where you take your wife. Sir is where you take your mistress. And this truck stop is where you fuck them both up in the ass after they've both done meth and then you steal their children and run. She's like, I'm going to open up a place called Truck Stop. That's what it's called. It's called Truck Stop. And it's just going to be the dirty place where you just fuck everyone. And it's going to be filled with planters and lovely crystal lights. Let's have trucks come there. Oh, this is going to be good, darling. Max, you take this over, darling. Max, this is for you, darling. All right. This is where you're from. All right. We didn't want to tell you. Max, Max, you're in charge of washing the red trays. Max, we found your mother. She's doing dishes at this restaurant. One day, if you work hard enough, you can actually pour a drink in instead of just running the food. Max, you're in charge of new menus when it's time. Oh, Max. And Max is just like, I just wanted to. Max is just like, I just wanted to know if I was Mexican. Truck Stop. Copy right that, guys. Meanwhile, by the way, you know what? I also loved in this, in this wedding was when Carmen decided to leave because she's like, I'm going to go back to LA now. Jax had this look like his classic lost puppy look. He's like, what? Why are you leaving? I thought you were staying over with me. I thought we're having sex. And she's like, no, I had never said that. He's like, yeah, you did. And they cut to her being like, like, back to the sunset grill. And she's like, yeah, I'm not going to stay over. I'm just going to go. I'm just going to go home back to LA that night. And then Jax's like, you never said that. You never said that. What are you leaving? Jax is just so transparent. He just wants a little poos. It's so gross. And I'm glad that she at least pretended to have some self-respect. But you know, she's like been banging him since or something. Yeah. Yeah. And she probably got some, saw how horrendous it is. And it was like, I can go home, have a glass of cab and, you know, masturbate. Totally. Yeah. Meanwhile, Shino was still furious. She was like, I didn't even got to eat my phone at the wedding. I'm like, bitch, haven't you ever been to a wedding? The thing that everyone says is that if you're the bride of the groom, you never get to eat the food. That's the way it goes. Yeah. They're supposed to actually make you a plate or something to take away. I don't know. Yeah. And then she's, I love the way she thinks. People, by the way, she's always goes, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's from the hills. I think the hills started that accent. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Meanwhile, Tom and Ariana are now officially disgusting. Like when Tom is like, when I want to go on vacation, I just look under Ariana's eyes. And then I can see myself getting blowjobs and hot tubs from ugly 20-year-old Tranny's. Like what kind of vacation is in her eyes? It must be disgusting. Because every vacation you've taken, you've boned some Tranny in Miami. So whatever. Shut up. He's like, I feel like I'm on vacation. I'm like, look in her eyes. And it feels like the Mount Arry Lodge and the Poconos. Kristen. Mount Arry Lodge. Every time I look in her eyes, I see Casino Morongo. And I'm like, wow, dollar poker. And Ariana is like, that's so romantic. Actually, Ariana is so normal for this show. She's like, hey, what's up, girl? And she's like, nothing's going wrong. Everything's wrong. You can't even buzz boy on the fucking iPod. And Ariana's like, but you're beautiful. And this is great. Let's go dance. Okay. I don't know how Ariana even is still on this show. I don't know. She is way, way too short. She's too cool. I don't think she even realizes. I don't think she even realizes. You know what? My prediction is that next year, when Stasi isn't on the show, Ariana's crazy. She's going to come out. I hope so. I hope she just becomes a crazy bitch. The first episode she kind of was, do you remember? In her first episode, she was like, I mean, yeah, Kristen's really mean to me. But like, I'm hotter. And she said something like, I'm hotter than you. I'm cooler than you. And I'm smarter than you. So suck my dick, bitch. And I was like, wow, this is okay. This girl's going to be great. And then ever since then, she's like, please and thank you. And like, you know, she basically read Kristen. But of course, reading Kristen is like equivalent of reading like, see dick run, you know? It's like the most easy reading in the world. I know. Does not require a lot of skill to do the reading of Kristen. This has nothing to do with Vanderpump rules, but I have to tell you guys. Because this just happened in the Starbucks. Some guy came in, I'm just talking about reading like, defenseless people, how it's unfair. But this guy came into Starbucks and he was trying to hand me a little Jesus pamphlet. And he's like some five foot tall, old Indian man, like, I'm not going to get offended. Like, good for him for fighting Jesus, you know, whatever. But I was like, no, thanks. He goes up to these two muscle queens. And he's like, oh, here's, you know, Jesus Christ saves lives, saves souls. And they're like, oh, girl, please, you believe this shit. And they start ripping into this guy. And he's trying to stand his ground. And he's like, no, you think this? But you know, in the end, you'll see because he comes back. And none of these matters because he's going to change your heart. And they're like, oh, girl, please, do I look like I need my heart chain? Look at this hot motherfucker I'm with. And they start like telling all this poor guy. He's just trying to like hand out Jesus pamphlet. And I was like, that is the most indefensible read I've ever seen in my life. Leave him alone. Say more power suit. Wait, why should they leave him alone when he should be leaving them alone? He walked into the... He's trying to spread the word. OK, like he believes he's trying to help that neighborhood. Yeah, well, what do they need? Maybe they already have the word. You don't come to West Hollywood and teach people to kneel. I can't believe. Bring your band-aids, honey. Bring your band-aids. You cut. You walk in there, you turn your ass around and wobble. Oh, Lord. Bring your band-aids. Auntie, do you play Suddlers of Catam? I do not. Well, Ben will teach you one day and then you should come play with us. We can team up against Ben. Well, I think I once floated the idea by you, Angie, and you were like, "Oh, it sounds too much for me." It's not that hard. Angie, you can do it. You roll some dice. It's fun. It's fun. It's social. I'm stupid. If I could do it, you can do it because I'm a dumbass. I'm like, "Oh, it's fun, game, and social." I have to be taught to ask that every Christmas. We can do it. Let's do it tomorrow night. Ronnie, let's do it before you go to Big Fat Tick. Hope you do it. You hang out, then Suddlers, and then I'll go with you to Big Fat Tick. Okay, that sounds great. Yay! That sounds super fun. There's Whiskey and Uber. I'll do anything you want. Yes. We can mix that into. Yes. I need a night out, you guys. I've been taking these herbal pills from GNC that have been giving me energy, and I cannot just sit here anymore. The other day, I went to a gay performance art show at Akbar. Why? I was like, "I just slipped up on the Internet." I was like, "Gay events, Monday night." And they were like, "Oh, gay performance art." I was like, "I'll go to that." Oh, my gosh. Where was the little Indian preacher when you needed him? No kidding. Oh, my God, I should have been. I would have been like, "This is my performance art, girls." All right, go up there, Koopta. He probably... If you went in there, you have to turn into a pillar of salt. Speaking of vitamins... He's like, "Whoops, I looked behind myself." Our local ladies, because I was... That just made me think if you wanted to check him down all this vitamin. Wait, first, before we do that, I have an announcement to make. Like, I got married. That's it. That was Gina's big announcement. Hey, I wanna have a speech. Thank everybody for coming to the wedding, because, I mean, this is like donated, and like you feel the chairs. Please don't drink on the dance floor, and make sure to wipe the pee off the seats, because I hate pee on the seats! I've had issues with it before, and what time I cut my thought? And also please bring flour. Take those flouries out. Thanks everybody! Why are you giving this speech? And why didn't we get to see your mom give a speech? Or your dad? I know. Well, her mom was... I mean, her dad was like drunk on the dance floor with a shirt open. I also like, by the way, one last thing, and then we'll go to Beverly Hills. I like to have the next day, when Gina woke up with a full face of makeup, and then she decided, suddenly she was mad about Kristen punching James. She's like, "Why won't she do that on my wedding?" I'm like, "Listen, it was off to the side, and it was funny. If anything, you should be laughing about that." Like, when that shit happens at a wedding, that's what you want. Because that's the story of your wedding. Like, remember when there was a fight? Remember when there was two fights? She's like, "I can't make sure I do that on my day." That girl is just obsessed with bitching about something. And I can understand it, because I mean, I guess that's in my personality, too. But one of my favorite things about brides is after. Because that power is gone. Like, that power that they just paid half a million dollars to feel. Where you get to be rude to people and boss everybody around and treat your family like shit and make your friends clean your hotel room, which honestly I've never heard. And I'm from El Paso. That's gone. And you're just another person now. And you can't be walking around like, "That's not how I ordered my cake!" Because it's like, "That's how the restaurant does it, bitch. So just shut up and welcome back to reality." Your paid moment of power is over, bride. So, let's move on, because we only have Angie for another ten minutes or so. Yeah, I can say a little bit longer. I definitely want to talk about these folks. Yeah, you better because we don't just let you go whenever you want. Yeah, or we cut you out. I go through and cut out every line. You just made like a little like toad noise. I want my Kia Boston, then I want to go. Yeah. Would you say fuck first, then talk later? Yeah, fuck first, talk later. I'll learn your name while I'm telling you down. Okay. That is so gross. I don't even know why I'm being like that. I'm a very under-sexed person. Listen, I'm just excited that the three of us are playing 'cause I don't like a tan tomorrow night. Oh, my God, Ben's gonna have a boner there, and then Angie and I will get boners at BFD. Hey, are you gonna come to Big Fat Dick too, Ang? Well, it's, I don't know the name. Yes, you are. Where do you live? Oh, you're an e-sider, right? Yeah. Goddamn it. I want to move to the e-sign. Okay, could you see if you can find me a rent-controlled one bedroom on the e-side for $900? Done. Thanks. Then I'll move. Then we could be names. And we could be like, "Hey! I'll be like, "Hey, I have a speech!" [laughter] I'm sorry, but I can't stay focused today because my doctor won't give me Adderall. So, okay, that PO box number. We're in Beverly Hills. I know. It's okay now, but they're all drunk anyway. It's like I'm the only person who's like, can't even be a drug addict. I can't even focus that much. Okay, I will stop talking now. Ben, why don't you just start leading, and I'll just pretend I'm with you. Okay. Okay, so Beverly Hills, I thought you were going to lead since you did the recap. So, I don't have the-- Okay, do you know what my recap is? Okay, here's the high basic thing about Bev Hills. I love the show. It's my favorite housewives show. Maybe second to Atlanta, but I think I love Beverly Hills because it's actually where I live and stuff. So, it's my faves, but I'm kind of having a problem with this addiction thing. I don't have a problem with camping drunk all the time, or the fact that addiction has been part of the story for years. I have a problem with the addiction police. I don't know where Lisa Rina gets off thinking that it's her business to be telling everybody, like, bitch, please, you're some young skank who married some rich old man. I know you've at least got some zanny in your purse. You are not going home and fucking that asshole, and then taking the attitude from your bitch daughters without some kind of drugs in your system. First of all. Okay. I love Lisa Rina as addiction police. I don't like she's crazy. That is rude. She has a right to be addicted if she wants. If I show up everywhere I go wasted, you have the right to not want to invite me anymore. But if you ever sat me down and were like, Ronnie, you need to go to AA. I feel like bye. Well, I don't think, okay, I agree and I disagree. I agree that, you know what, it's not her battle, it's not her issue. She should, she should, I disagree in that I like her opinions. I like her as addiction police in that way. When she's saying things, I'm like, yeah, right on sister, right on your way. It's time that somebody said which I agree. I've been, I've been with her until now. Yeah. Oh, by the way, this is Kim Richards being rushed to the hospital right now in the background. Oh, but it's just because I accidentally twisted, um, I twisted my arm when I was taking out the trash on one of those twisty ties. And it really hurt. Something I got, I didn't, I didn't relapse. I just put vodka in my buttocks. I heard that makes clear water. I went to see Dr. Jack and once I had swallowed him, I felt better. Um, do you guys think Brandi's going to stay with, was able to stay sober for 21 days? No, no, I don't think she was sober for 21 seconds. No, I think she drank the whole time. I think she was sober at that party because she knows that Yolanda will come up and look her right in the eyes fucking Yolanda. She's so rude. Listen, I've heard something from everybody here. Okay, Kim, I've heard all of these things about you, but I want you to know I don't care if you're sloppy alcoholic. I love you anyway, because I understand disease. Do you know what Lyme disease is? Oh, it hurts. I'm going to say something controversial and say that I actually thought that what Yolanda said to Kim at that party, I actually liked it. I thought like if you're going to, if you're going to approach someone, she was basically saying like, Hey, I'm not trying to. Everybody's saying you're a drunk. Yeah, but this is saying like, I'm the guest here. If you need support, I'm here for support. And that's it, you know, I actually liked it. And I also liked what Yolanda said to Brandy earlier when Brandy was like, Well, everyone is so judgmental of me. And then Yolanda's like, Well, that's because you give them a reason to be judgmental. Right. I mean, like, so you will about Yolanda. I don't think she was wrong. I think she knows. She's not wrong. Thank you again for having much housing and trying to fake diseases to keep your old man who's probably obviously cheating on you. Um, in your house and keep your ranch in. That doesn't necessarily make you a liar about everything. Right. Well, maybe Blanca is like solely poisoning her. That's not my new theory. I would be awesome. Blanca's like, I'll be the skinny one in this house, bitch. Blanca, could you bring me my vitamins, please? I'm having the lamb disease again. Blanca's like, I'm gonna flare up. But for give up the pills and the lemons and start eating the enchiladas. You don't live as long, but you're much happier and you don't care if your husband's fucking somebody else. You know that thing. Sorry. I was gonna say, you know that Blanca has a deal with a guy down the corner selling carpets. You know, she's like, Okay, like if you, if you never mind. She's like, I get $5 for every Wonder Woman tell you sell. I love my favorite part of this show. One of my favorite parts was the scene with Brandy and Jennifer Jimenez at the beach. And it reminded me so much of like, you guys probably don't remember, but they used to have these like, that was like the old, the old lady tampon commercial because like normally that would be like two perky tweens like sitting at the beach like like sometimes I have that not so feeling we have these like two old pieces of like turkey jerky, like, you know, not so super feeling. Yeah, like, you know, I don't know. I don't know why I'm always so shocked when you're such a bitch, but every time you do it, every time you do it, I'm like, whoa. I just think of you as such a sweetheart. It's the best thing I've ever heard, and it rhymes. I really like that scene. You know, why regardless of who was in it, because, you know, for the past few weeks, and actually for a while we've been saying what's really annoying about Kim's sobriety quote unquote sobriety is that she doesn't doesn't seem to go to any a classes she doesn't, she hasn't like been accountable. She she still holds a bunch of people. We say all these things and in fact the last like week or two we even said like why is Jennifer Jimenez not saying anything doesn't she realize this wrong. So this week Jennifer Jimenez finally trips up and was like, you know what? Like, is she taking classes? Does she have a sponsor? Is she doing this or is she doing that? I was like, thank you. Thank you for finally saying that. And of course she's actually starting to impart some useful advice to Brandy and Brandy just keeps on interrupting her and be like, well, I mean, I'm like, should I be your, I can't be the one listening to her. I can't be like, listen, be quiet, Brandy. Listen to Jennifer Jimenez. She's trying to like tell you something here, but I was very happy. Yeah, she's trying to help you bring them as being friends with Brandy. I mean, Brandy seems to be kind of have some issues with substance. Yeah. Well, you know, nervous, you know, it's like if you're a nurse, you're just going to hang around with somebody who's always got nose bleeds. I don't know. Maybe you feel more needed. And what kind of idiot? I mean, y'all talked about this before, but we all live in LA. We all know people who are addicts like rule number one. Well, we're all going to meet up with, you know, if we're all going to Akbar, we're not going to invite Joyce because that bitch can't drink right now. Do you know what I mean? Like, that's just you just don't do that. And like, Brandy knows this. Like, what is she thinking? This woman is so fragile. You cannot bring her to things where there's alcohol. Like, she can't handle it. Just like Jennifer said, that takes like five years for some people. It really does. Well, on the other hand, you know, here's how we deal with it in my family. I have a lot of it in my family and I won't go too into it because I've already spent enough on that. But recently, a cousin of mine just got put into rehab for like snorting heroin or something awful, you know, and she's always been on and off her whole life. And I was talking to her mom and she was like, you know, I know that we all party as a fan because my family parties like her. We get we get shit face drunk and like, we have a great time. Like, we go there. But she's like, you know, we're going to have to be careful when you're home because whenever you're home, it turns into this like week long party and she can't do that anymore. And, you know, I was talking to my mom who has her own issues and my mom's like, well, that's not fair. Fuck that. Well, we're not supposed to have drinks around that, you know, and she's going off and I can see that side too. Because, you know, I haven't, you know, if I'm eating disorder, are you going to all order salad if I meet you at dinner? Kim should be on. Yeah. My point was Kim shouldn't be on the show if she can't be around alcohol. Like, I understand if she can't be around it, but she just shouldn't be on the show. Yeah. Basically. Did you hear what we were saying about? Oh, no, you know, I didn't stop talking for 20 minutes. I just kept yapping and yapping. I was like, well, I'm making them uncomfortable, which made me talk even more. Did you hear what we were saying about Lisa Vina about her theory about Kim? No, what was it? Wow, you really were gone for a while. You guys didn't even care. This is what it's going to be like when I'm dead. I'm going to be like your ghost. We're saying we're still going to be doing watch what happens. Yeah. I'm going to be like, Hey, remember me? No. We were saying that we thought that when Kim, that when Lisa said that Kim was pitting Kyle and Brandy against each other. That was a pretty like that was a pretty of stood observation. So that way they wouldn't pay attention to her problems. Kind. I mean, I don't think that she is pitting them together, though. I think that that seems like a sophisticated plot for Kim to be able to pull off. Yeah, Kim. I don't know. I don't know. You get a dollar and she runs a Bentley like Kim doesn't know what the fuck she's. She's just crazy. Your brain's supposed to be somebody's nurse. Please tell me that's not happening. Yeah. She's protecting him from the harm of all those cancer pills. It's like when I get it. Oh God. I could have been. Oh my gosh. I know. I was also telling Angie that I like the way Eileen weighed in on everything. She sort of pulls Kyle and says, listen, you know, it's not my place to say anything, but you know, I just think it's all creepy. It's all weird. Anyway, that's it. And then, well, no, it was way more than that. And I love that she goes up to Kyle. She corners her and she's like, here, let's talk about Kim's addiction. I don't think this is right. We're all pretending there's not a problem. Kyle's like, do you know how hard it is for me? I mean, I have a family. I can't be there every day. What are they accusing me of? And Eileen's like, yeah, I don't care about that. What I'm saying is Kim is going to die. And Kyle's like, well, but I mean, it's hard for Mauricio. He has a business. It's like Kim's going to be dead soon. But it's going to be so hard on my kids. Kyle, it's a lot about you. She's like, listen, listen, I just want to say this. I really didn't like the way that Kim read that script. Okay. She really didn't seem to inhabit the role of the puppet very well. And I'm really concerned about her as a riot as a result. Is she sober? She's sober because that sober person would not perform with the puppet that way. I'm sorry. It's creepy. Camille Paglia, Siri, she's obsessed. She writes a lot about Real Housewives when she's talked about them. And she said that these shows are so successful because they're replaced soap operas. And I think the reason, Ronnie, like you said, that this particular franchise is so good. Because everybody on the show is an actress. Yeah. It's true. That's why this one's so good. Yeah. It's finally like back up to proper form, you know? But they're giving that, just like when you're doing that Eileen impersonation, that's how she really talks. Like she never leaves that soap opera persona. It's fantastic. Right. Well, you know, and Eileen's got a point. You know, she's like, listen, on days of our lives, I had an evil, an evil twin who was a triplet. You know, it was, it was difficult walking around with those teeth, but at the same time, now I understand how people with big teeth feel. Do you know what I mean, Kyle? And Kyle's like, do you know how hard big teeth are on me? But I liked that she was like, listen, we're, you don't need to do anything, but Rin and I are going to approach Kim. No. No, no. That's not how intervention works. You don't just walk up to somebody that you don't know and have an intervention on them. That's not really your business to do. And then when they did, it was really disturbing. Because, you know, Kim's basically like, she's absolutely, she's not there yet. I mean, that's just, yeah, she was like, he's right. Well, wait, was this scene, this was, this scene was after they had that conversation with Kim, right? Yeah, it was. Yeah. So that means she's going back for more. That wasn't even the intervention. That was just them talking to her party. Exactly. Well, what was funny was the intervention, which was so hyped up was this sort of like, it was kind of a let down. And the funny thing was that, like, Kim's response, everything was just like, like, blah, blah, blah. Kim literally said, blah, blah, blah. Am I right? Yeah. It's like really, Kim. Like, as someone who's probably been confronted about 5,000 times, you'd think you'd at least know how to say mind your, mind your beeswax. She can't even say that. No, no. I mean, come on, Kim. I'm glad that people want to help Kim. I just know that you, that's not how it works. You don't just say, "Oh, that person's an addict." And then you talk to them and they're like, "Oh, thank you." And then they're not an addict anymore. Like, that's just not life. She doesn't realize that she's relapsed. That's the problem. I don't think she ever, she was ever sober. I mean, let's face it. She didn't do all the steps that she needed to take to be sober, as mentioned by several people in this episode, which is that she doesn't seem to be in classes. She doesn't seem to have a sponsor. She doesn't seem to be in therapy. But she pays that old queen to come over and tell her she's doing great. Remember him? We saw him. Yeah. It's like Kim's sobriety pal or something. It's called like, you know, like her Francia friend or something. And he comes over and he's like, "Hi Kim, how's it going?" You know, he's polishing some flames in my house at the meeting. I don't even know why she's talking Peruvian. He's like, "Really? Did you have a drink?" No! Why do you have a drink? Okay, then that'll be $500. Bye. I think though, here's the other thing that it actually, this is kind of with the apology thing, this is sad about this show. It's like, part of me feels like Kim sort of needs something. And like, I agree with you, Ronnie, you know, your theory is that Kyle has to have Kim on the show because they don't want to support Kim anymore. And part of me is like, well, this does give her a reason to maybe do something with her life. Yeah. Because I'm sort of like, what would she be doing? I sort of feel like she could, this could be like another Bobby Christina situation. Kim, I don't know, I'm just like, it's bad because I feel so- I'm having too close- I'm having too close to Conrad. Being entertained, watching this woman who's obviously completely unraveled, but then it's like, but what else would she be doing? Right. I mean, this might have been a, this might have been a last ditch thing to help Kim, I feel like. In a way, I think it was because it's given her an income and she's not like, you know, practically homeless like she was before. I mean, before she was basically, it seemed like she was just counting on her family to pull her through while she was staying inside being wasted. Because when the show began, she couldn't even leave the house. Like she couldn't meet new people. It was freaking her out to even speak with people. So in a way, the show has been good for her because she's got some fame back, right? So that's good. And, and not for nothing. When they did the little reading, all those actress personalities popped on out, you know, because they were sort of making those little jobs about, but they meant it. Like they don't get around with that kind of stuff. And she actually perked up and like read her lines. And it's sort of sad because if she could get it together, she could probably get some work out of this. And she seemed like she could be coherent for more than, you know, two or three days or something. Somebody would hire her ass for something. Yeah. And she has, she's on revenge. She's doing like a guest spot on. I don't even know if it's still going, but she had like a five episode arc or something on revenge. Yeah, she was like, see, it's either happening right now or it just happened. I saw the first episode and she only had a line or two, but then I heard she was going to be back. So I don't know what happened. Maybe someone can update on, update us. Maybe Kim is doing the performance of her life. Maybe at the end of the series, she's going to go. Well, we saw, we saw her, we saw her work in the car with Lisa Rina. We saw what you do. Exactly. I feel like sobriety is just honestly as much as I go on about how it's affected my own life. I honestly think it's semi overrated. Like I'm really not for everybody just being sober all the time. I wish that people could like, it's easy for me to say too, because my addiction is not drugs or alcohol yet. But for me, it's like, let's just like, don't get put in jail. Don't be getting a DUI and, you know, be able to pay your rent, but I don't care. Kim's already done it. She's already been a celebrity. She's raised her children. She's been married a zillion times. She's already done all this. If that bitch wants to stay in her house and do heroin all day, I don't care. I'm totally fine with that. I agree. By the way, I want to also say, by the way, really quickly, one thing that I really am enjoying about, especially this season, and it's been sort of an ongoing thing the past few seasons, but like, I love this subtle kind, it's not subtle, but it's like this, like when they did the table read, for instance, and Kim was talking about how they knew the Van Patten's growing up, I sort of like how the show kind of sheds a small spotlight on this weird, like sort of generation of child actors from the 70s and 80s who grew up together and are now doing all sorts of weird things together as they're older. You know, they're not like really famous anymore, but they're sort of holding on to the dream and they're still all sort of, it's like a whole weird subculture that I find fascinating. And I like the show doesn't dwell on it, but you know, it's like last season, there was, it was named Jimmy McKian, you know, Nancy McKian's brother who like him saw like this, like washed up child actors from, I don't know. Oh yeah, when she went to that like Comic-Con thing for people from the 60s or whatever. Yeah, and this kind of seems to be on the best end of it. He just, he's kind of random, like they're not really glamorous things, but he seems like happy. He's married to like a very grounded little person, that money. He owes that book show. I do love again, we saw it last week with the Burbank Film Festival, and then again with this table read, I love how Eileen again comes off as being so waspy and sort of like of this higher class, and yet her life is filled with all these like B and C level, you know, occupational endeavors, you know. And she still lives in that set from Petticoat Johnson. Yes, well, you know, soap opera acting is like the blue collar job of Hollywood. Sure is. Yeah, but I love how she can be blue collar at the same time, so like top of the food chain at the same time. Eileen could kind of, I mean, I don't want to say this because it's horrible, but if something ever happened in Lisa left, Eileen could kind of slip in and take on that role a little bit. She doesn't have the money, but she has that mother vibe. She could. She could. She could. She could. Shana. Mark my words. I don't know why I started laughing when she said that, but just that she even knows what that means. I think is very funny, but mark my words. Eileen will become a humongous bitch on my show. She is going to be such a bitch. I just see it coming like the way she grabs on to any little thing and tries to turn it into a story. Like she's savvy enough to know that she needs that. And I think that that's great, but I just see her like the little things that have happened. I see her turning into something bigger, even this intervention thing. Yeah, she's going to ride that horse until it's turned into glue. This is what Sonia Morgan was like her first season season two. She seemed just like wonderfully aloof, and then she just fell apart. But I do like also, I shouldn't say I like, but it's funny to see Brandy is now starting her hate campaign against Eileen. Because a week or two ago, Eileen confronted Brandy and was like, "I didn't really like those comments you were making about my house." And on top of that, the fact that everyone was mad at Brandy for throwing wine in Eileen's face for no reason. So now Brandy is saying to Kathy Hilton, she's like, "Yeah, you know, you'll meet Eileen. She's really cool. She's very reserved. She's in the corner and quietly makes judgments." It's like, "Don't even start, Brandy. Don't start again the subtle day." She can't help it. She cannot help it. When Kim was standing up for Brandy at that party, I was dying because it was actually, I was like, "Wow, this is someone who's actually gotten to know Brandy and actually knows who they're dealing with." And no one takes Kim seriously, but what she said was actually very astute. It's almost like Brandy has some kind of weird form of Tourette's where she doesn't, it's like she's backed into a corner. She doesn't necessarily even know what she's saying. And I know that that sounds like a weird excuse, but I know so many people like that. And I really do think she's like that. I don't think she means to be such an awful C-word, but she is. And like, she's got to change that. I did love, I'm sorry. No, go ahead, Ben. I would say I loved how Lisa Vanderpump's prize party, Lisa just kind of was like, the entire night was just kind of like destroying Brandy with a smile. God, she was. She was good. It was vicious. And like Brandy knew it, and Brandy couldn't say anything. You could see Brandy was getting upset, and then her gay of course was sneering the entire time. As you know, my favorite thing about that was they show him sneering, and then they show him shoving his face full of free food, that little fucking hanger on. I didn't think that I realized about Brandy, because I think ultimately she and Eddie Cibrian, they are actually perfect for each other. I think that Brandy is cut from that. We all know people like this. They're both those really good looking, not really smart, a little bit trust you, like C-level LA talent actors or whatever people. And I think like she and Eddie are kind of cut from the same cloth, and whatever their marriage was, I think that it worked because they're both similar. And then when he left her, I just don't think she's, she's still so bitter and angry and still in love with Eddie that he, you know, turned on her. Like she can't ever get past it, because I was thinking like she was really pretty and kind of charming and fun when she first came on. And just like all these other girls, she didn't leverage that into like even Taylor Armstrong, with that face, managed to hook another soccer. And like Brandy, who was cuter and kind of smarter, hasn't, and now her looks are gone, her shit personality has completely shown through. And I think she's about to get off the show. Yeah, well, she was saying this week that she thinks she might be done with it. And everybody's like, oh, Brandy's going to quit. And I don't think that I think that she's been kind of like a dick to Andy, and you can't really do that. Exactly. I think I've heard rumors that she's going to get fired, to be honest. Well, no one will film with her. And actually another, just another view on this surprise party real quick. I looked at it a little bit differently, because to me it was almost sweet, because Lisa was joking with her again publicly. And that was their relationship before, where she would always be like, he's skinny bitch with your bony button, stop trying to sleep with my husband. Because that's how Lisa shows her humor. It's like, if she's mocking you publicly, she means it. When she stands up at her speech and says, what is that bitch, Brandy? How would that bitch have the nerve to show up at my party? Lisa's not classless enough to do that in a mean way. It's almost like she's being nice to Brandy. I know that sounds sick, but... It wasn't the words that she was saying. It was the actions. It was like... And you want to kind of check her, because she was like, Yolanda, she's like, I heard what you said. And I was like, whoa. Well, Yolanda's still a bitch, too. Yolanda still hates Lisa, too. That's what's so funny. Lisa's like... Lisa knows it, too. Lisa doesn't like Yolanda. But the thing is that, you know, Lisa's up there singing a stupid drunken song with the Richards sisters or whoever else. And Brandy's sitting there at the table being like, this is going to go on all night. Damn right, it is. It's her birthday party. The menopause mamas. I don't need to do that, because I still have a flow. Well, first of all, that doesn't even make sense. Obviously, your period has nothing to do with singing. Like, that's just a bad joke. And B, I doubt that you're vagina. I doubt you have a flow, because you're a fucking anorexic cokehead. I'm sure your flow stopped when you were 13. Give me a break. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't want to even think about her flow. And I don't know why she thinks that, like, that somehow has anything to do with anything. And don't act like you're not, like, 36 minutes away from your flow, drawing up permanently. As if it matters. Who cares? So what? Who cares? Yeah, I don't like when she makes all these age jokes, because she's implying that no one understands her because they're a bunch of old ladies and she's this young. She's like, no, honey, just. Yeah. You know what? Here's the truth. I'd rather someone be menopausal than trash. Word. And that's what we're into here. Put that on your tombstone. Yeah, it will be. That's so long. We'll be burying Ben. We'll be like, of course, Ben has a long tombstone. You'll be like, please don't, please don't drink wine while you're near my tombstone. I can't believe you're a drink wine, you're my tombstone. I've had issues with wack tombstones. That's general as fucked. Did you, was Lance Vance, has Lance Bass been on the show before? Yeah. Oh, he pops up. Okay. Yeah, he hangs out with all the housewives. Oh boy. He's like a housewife. Oh my God, he's very nice. So we met him at Leah Black's. He's super nice and his boyfriend or his husband now. Um, that guy's so cute. Tarzan. That guy walked into the easiest career of his life. The easiest career. I think that's weird. I was like, Oh, no, no, no, no, no, career. Like he said, I mean, but it's fast, that rich. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Insink money, but he also just makes money being Lance Bass. But aren't the other people from in sync on that? Like weird show about being on a cruise or something on a channel called pop. Isn't it like they go on fan cruises for NSYNC and all these older ladies are like, Oh my God, I saw NSYNC on a boat. I don't think Lance has to do that. I think he can kind of keep it level. He has his own little radio show and he had like a wedding special on the E. Yeah, he does like, he's like, he's like, he's like, you know, he made me low on the totem pole of like pop culture celebrities, but he's pretty high as a gay celebrity. So he probably gets a lot of gay things, you know, just showing up for gay things takes all Neil Patrick's cast off. Oh my God. Yeah, they're like, Hey, Neil Patrick, would you do this game out of the Foxwoods? And he's like, no, they're like, okay, Lance. Sure. I'll be there with Vanessa from going crowns. That's kind of why Lance is cool is because he's so like positive and like he does. He's not insulted by that stuff. He's like, no problems in the check to. Yeah, no, he's he's a super nice guy. We did that. We did that, that strange webcast with him and he was really friendly. Yeah, we did Leah Black's weird podcast. She was in a tub with weird. It was so funny. She was like, hi, everybody. It's Leon. And she's like hiding in the like, it's like the closet, but it has like all these servers or something. And there was all this weird. It was like a utility. It was a utility closet. The only place where she could get a signal. So she was in a bathrobe and a turban. And a turban, yeah. And then it was like, and then it was like Dr. Karen Sierra and then Lance Bass and Turkey and then us. And then the producer, this woman, Sarah kept on switching me and Ronnie out in the fourth, there were four panels on this, on this sort of like her hangout thing. And the producer kept switching out me and Ronnie, but she kept on switching me out like mid sentence. So it would be like, I'd be like in the middle of like making a joke or making a comment. And then all of a sudden, next year, I know it's just like offline talking to no one. That was weird. But that's also where I met Frankie Grande. Oh, yeah. And whenever I said something that wasn't positive, which is, you know, everything that I say, he would, because he follows everybody on Twitter, like he's everybody's Twitter friend. Well, and especially now, I'm sure. But at that time, he wasn't really famous. He was, he was YouTube famous to 12 year olds. And so he didn't like negativity. So he would just go and grab his ankles and then roll back on his bed. And then all these 12 year old girls in the chat room would be like, Oh my God, Frankie, that was so hot. Do it again. Speaking of 12 year olds, it's time for me to, I have to depart this lovely show. I had so much fun. Head off and go pick up some 12 year olds. All right. Well, everybody, thank you so much for being with us. Angie Thomas. Thank you very much. Check out Angie's podcast. It's the lion's den L Y O. What layer? Oh, I'm sorry, the lion's layer empire podcast. And she also does the small potatoes food podcast, which you can find those both on iTunes, the O or wherever you search for podcasts. Come to watch at cravens.com for all of our social media links. You can also come to patreon.com P A T R E O N. Dot com slash watch with cravens to support this podcast and be a part of our live Google Hangouts bonus episodes and ring towns. Come on, y'all get your bonus. Get your bonus. And for those of you who are supporting, please come by tomorrow night at 6 p.m. Pacific time to our Google Hangouts. We will be drinking and getting ready for a full night of it. Yeah, getting ready for some settlers like a tan afterwards. Yeah, Big Fat Dick night. What? And if anybody wants to show up for a meeting greet at Big Fat Dick night, that will be tomorrow Thursday. What is that date? I don't know. I'll be around. What if someone does show up? We're going to be mortified. But it's going to be February 19th at we'll probably get there at like 10 30, I would guess. So that could be really crazy if people come and bring dollar bills, please, for me to give strippers and Adderall if you have. Yeah, and that's it everybody. Thank you so much. I love you guys. This was really fun and we'll talk next time. All right. Bye. Some major office supply stores are closing their doors, but Walmart has low prices on supplies you need to keep your business running smoothly. 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