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(humming) ♪ Watch what crap is ♪ ♪ Watch what crap is ♪ ♪ Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is ♪ ♪ Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens ♪ ♪ Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is ♪ ♪ Watch what crap is ♪ ♪ Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is ♪ ♪ Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is ♪ ♪ Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is ♪ Hey everyone, welcome to Watch what crap is. A podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker from bsideblog.com and the banter blender podcast and joining me as always is the lovable and huggable and beautiful and wonderful, Ronnie Karam from trashtalktv.com. - Hey, Ronnie. - Thanks everybody. Hi. - Hi. - Hi. - Hi. How's it going? How's it hanging, Ronnie? - It's going so great hanging a little low because it's so warm here in Los Angeles. - Oh, yes, that's right. All the rest of the world is covered in snow but it is warm here in LA. So since you are all snowed in or most of you are snowed in, why not take advantage of your downtime by checking out our social media, et cetera, by going to watchwhatcrapins.com. You'll find links to all our vine and Instagram and Facebook stuff, Twitter. Follow us all from there. And I guarantee that if you follow us, it will be worth your time. We also have a Facebook page, facebook.com/watchwhatcrapins, which truly is worth your time. We did it. We crossed over 3,000 likes. So thank you very much. Thanks for-- - We did it! - Thanks for liking us. I feel like I have so much more self-confidence. Not that more people like me. So thank you guys. And really, to be totally honest, it's a super fun page. Like, a lot of our listeners post stuff, like they post links, they post just sort of like commentary, jokes, photos. Like last night when I was watching Beverly Hills and Vanderpump Rules. You know, I couldn't help it. I saw a funny screen grab. I took a picture, posted it on the page. It's like stuff like that is on there. So it's really, it's really fun. It kind of like, and it's more depth to the podcast, if you will. - And Lord knows we need a little more depth. - Oh yeah. - Please check out our Facebook. - Yeah, it's really fun. And then the last thing I'll plug is our Patreon page, which is a way for people to support our podcast. We do this podcast once a week. And then what we do is for our supporters, it's sort of like a Kickstarter thing. If you go to patreon.com, it's P-A-T-R-E-O-N.com/watchforcrapins. You can support us. You can like donate and stuff like that. And you get access to cool bonus content. So we do a bonus episode. We just recorded one. We talked to all about like, Nini's Seasoned Assist to Kenya. We talked about Top Chef stuff and other Bravo Gossip and Apprentice. So you get to listen to that. And then join us for live hangouts and ringtones and stuff like that. So it really helps. We're up to $740 per episode. And once we get to 1000, we'll do two normal episodes of Watch For Crapins per week. So I think it's a yes. - Yeah, everybody. Come on, check it out. I'm on Twitter right now, because for some reason I went on Twitter today, stupid. And on the bonus episode, we were talking about how Brandi was not Brandi. Whitney was on Watch What Happens Live with Eileen last night. And Whitney was acting like Brandi, but she kept talking about Brandi, and it was really funny. She was just trying to get Eileen to talk really bad about her and her Eileen wouldn't. But she, Brandi was trying to, God damn it, even calling it Brandi. Whitney, every time any question was asked, Whitney would be like, "Because Brandi's a piece of trash." Or because Brandi's a whore, whatever. So I'm on Twitter and Brandi posted last night at Andy. I think I've taken enough abuse on Watch What Happens Live. I dare you to pick on someone else. I'm fucking over it. It's just bullying at this point. - Oh, shut up. - Oh, oh. - Or Brandi for thing bullying. - You know what happens? You know, okay, I am sick of this, because it's like, you can't go around being like, well, I'm just impulsive. I just say what's on my mind. I just say it. You can't just say things and then expect there to be no repercussions. Well, people love to do this thing. People like to say, it's America. This is free speech. I can say what I want, okay? And you can. And that's what's great about this country. But the thing is you also have to live with, you know, there are repercussions. You can't just like say everything. And it doesn't say in the constitution that you are, you know, like, imperi-- I can't talk. You're not like immune to people's reactions or responses. So when you say trashy things, and when you do trashy things, people are gonna call you trash. And that's what happens, Brandy. - Yeah, free speech is a circle, Brandy, okay? - Yeah, and I'm sure you don't even know what a circle is. You probably think it's a square. Well, you're wrong. My circle's a circle. I just got her. - It's like a round image as. - Yeah, you told her, man. - Yeah, it gets a little geometry shade. Got her. But she doesn't know what a trapezoid is. She probably thinks it's a parallelogram. - Probably doesn't even know how to use the line tool. - Yeah. She probably thinks the compass is only for navigation. But it's also for making angles, huh? Actually, it's not for making angles. It's for making arcs, for drawing arcs. She doesn't even know what a protractor is. Anyway, I feel like we've totally dressed her down now. She's defenseless on that. Like to see, I like to see Brandy teeed at us now. Like Brandy, there's a rectangle. Go describe it. - I keep posting on, I need to close Twitter. - I've been drinking coffee. - Keep posting pictures of Brandy's look last night with her shirt open and her terrible triangle boobs and stuff. And putting it next to pictures of Charo. Who, by the way, is like 90 and her boobs are 20? I don't know how that works, but you go, Charo. - I once saw Charo walking on the street in San Diego. It was the most bizarre thing, it was like, and it wasn't just like in like, it was like random suburban San Diego. And there goes Charo walking two dogs. It was like really, it's a strange experience when you see it, when you see an unexpected Charo. - Oh my God, remember last week when you said Eddie Sibreon's still hot? You were so right. - Thank you. - He's on Twitter right now. Oh my God, he's so cute. - He looks like Archer. - Oh my God, oh, we talked about Archer on the bonus episode and we talked about how hot he was. - So, I think Sibreon's playing Archer, basically. - Yeah, I basically have been drinking some iced coffee and it's kicking in right now. And I am off the walls. - You are okay. What do you want to talk about? Fire. - Whatever you want to talk about, first, Ronnie? - I want to talk about banner pop roles. That shit was kurekurekurekurekurekure off the walls. - Seriously? - Okay, everybody in the cast this week said seriously. - They did. They actually did. It was hilarious. Even the, even like the new girl, Anne Marie, who's basically a crash chest dummy with a wig. She was like, seriously? You're not going to talk to me? Seriously? - Mm. (laughing) - Seriously? - I'm really enjoying you on this podcast today. You just keep talking. - I'll just talk. I am like amped up. - Bad sex. - I was like, no, he didn't. - That's me, Dad. I mean, you're just jealous because your boyfriend had sex with me. - Well, I don't care, stupid bitch. - Yeah, you do. - Well, it's funny. - Oh, that was so awkward. - Well, it's funny that you mentioned that, Ronnie, because on Vine, that moment, I'm just moving ahead a little bit, but when this girl confronted Tom for like the 13th time in the episode, and was like, we had sex. We had sex. He's like, no, we didn't. I like couldn't help but put that moment on Vine. 'Cause to me, it was like, this is what Vanderpump Rules is all about. Every single episode, every single season is about, one person saying that sex happened, and the other person saying it didn't. So I put it on Vine and it made an infinite loop. And honestly, I think it sums it up. So here, I'm gonna play it a little bit. - No, we didn't, yes, we didn't. I didn't have no left. I didn't have left. I'm sorry, we didn't. We had sex. No, we didn't have sex. No, we didn't. Yes, we didn't. I didn't have no left. I didn't have left. I'm sorry, we didn't. - And it just goes on and on. And that's what the show is. - No, we didn't, yes, we didn't. - And that's what I love about it. - We had sex. We had sex. No, we didn't. We had sex. I'm sorry. - Mm-hmm. - We had sex. (laughing) - Okay, so let's start at the beginning. - Yeah. - What happened at the beginning after that? - So in the beginning, it starts off like, it just jumps right into it. - Then you start at the beginning. - Okay, there wasn't any stuff of them waking up in bed or them walking dogs or any like poofy stuff. It was just like, seriously? Kristen was at canters. - And then-- - Oh, that's right. - And then Bo Legged and Marie. - The first shot was the outside of canters and then this weird tourist girl and a dress that's like for a three AM walks in. - It was like a triple dress. - You know how like Victoria's Secret, like their catalog is like all like lingerie but then they have a few like actual dresses that are like tacky ass like early 90s shit, you know? That's what she was wearing. It was like the Victoria's Secret prom dress. And she comes walking in, Bo Legged on her wedges and she sits down face about as vacant as can be. I mean, when you talk about a vacant, and this is like, like dead. It was, she was like the ghost. - That girl was full on claymation. - She was like the scary little children in a Japanese horror film where the eyes are pure black and they open their mouths and it's also pure black and these sucks in your soul. - Yes. She's like a Japanese death eater, a manga death eater. - Yeah. So Kristen's like, can we get some Sauvignon Blanc? I think we need two big glasses. Which is hilarious. - Or Pinot Grigio. I mean, I don't care. Just like bring a lot. - I'm like, girl, you're in a deli, all right? You know, like just be happy to have anything. So I mean, Cantor's is attached to Kibbit. - That's true, they are. - They have a ton of, they have a ton of booze. And of course, Kristen knows that. - Yeah. - I mean, it is kind of weird to order a bottle of wine in the deli section. - But the best thing to even do that, they were probably sitting in like that little bar. - The best though is Kristen trying to act like, like she had no part in all this. And she's like, this is crazy that you flew out here. As if like Kristen wasn't saying, hey, you should fly out here. And as the producers weren't like, hey, we'll fly you out here. She's just like, so crazy, seriously. - Yeah, as if Kristen wasn't using her parents like Southwest Miles. (laughing) She's like, seriously? I put all my money in a coin store and got you a ticket on Frontier, seriously? Don't talk. - I went to Tom's to pick up my mail and I went through the change in the couch. 'Cause that was probably mine. - Seriously, I can't believe you flew here on Spirit Airlines, seriously? - Thanks for taking your bike here from Miami just to be on TV. (laughing) - Seriously, I can't believe you did this. And I had no part in it, seriously. - So then she's like, so like, seriously? Why don't you like tell me everything? She's just like, well, Tom and I, we like talked. We were at a pool and we were like talking and he said he was like single and he used to have a girlfriend, but he wasn't with her anymore and that he used to really love her. But then we like talked for like hours and then we had sex. - And I was onto the impression that he really loved you because it was all Kristen-ness, Kristen- that, Kristen, Kristen, Kristen, over and over again. - Really, while you were talking all night and having sex in Miami, wasted, he was talking. - Yeah, I'm sure it wasn't fed. I mean, like, you know, probably the reason why this girl was so Botox is that way her face couldn't betray any emotion of her lying, you know? Like, she's been in trouble with the law before. Like, she's taken my detector test and she's like, I will not show anything anymore. I will have my hands Botoxed and all of my features. - She sort of looked like the alien from the abyss, you know, but like flesh colored. - My God. You know, sort of like that weird face. - She looks like a really inexpensive doll, like a knockoff doll. - Like something you might find a Dollar Tree. - She looks like one of those humanoid things. Like, you know when, what's that movie where they made doll? They made like sex dolls. - She looks like a sex doll and you're like, can't you make a prettier face? - She looks like the, the Sarak robot with a brown wig on. - That girl, you know, she just looks crazy. She's like 20 and she's already had that much surgery. So she's obviously got some desperate need for attention, right? - Yeah. - She's got way too much money to be able to afford. I mean, even that terrible surgery adds up. - Right. - That girl's just crazy. She's got crazy, like literally written all over her. - Yeah. - Like probably if you put the black light on her, it's like literally the word crazy. - That being said, I am not gonna lie. I was super excited to see what would happen when she showed up at Sirr. So of course. - Of course. - So of course, then I think the next thing that happened was that like Kristen, you know, Kristen and her gal pal, whoever that girl is, they show up. They're not, they're not working. They take a seat in the corner and watch, as Anne Marie comes waddling into Sirr, and goes up to Tom, and she's like, "Hey, I don't have a cosmo, please." And Tom's like, "Okay." And then he just runs away. And I was like, "I'm not gonna lie." For a moment, I was like, "Ah, that's pretty guilty behavior." Right? - Well, yeah, I thought that was really good editing because they, first they show Kristen like, "Oh, he'll literally run." Like literally, literally running. Like literally, run. - Sirr's like, "Oh, did you see the movie Running Man?" He's like in that movie right now. - Like, did you ever see that movie's speed? Do you ever think that movie was called Run? It would be about Tom instead, seriously, seriously. There's a bomb. - He has to keep running 'cause if he slows down, he'll kill innocent people. Seriously? Like, I can't believe he put a bomb in his pants. Like, that just shows that he's a liar. I need to clear my name. I didn't have a bomb in my pants. Seriously? - His bomb is four inches long. It's not even gonna hurt anybody. - Seriously? - But I want it back! (growling) - He does that. Who puts a bomb in their pants? And then vows never to walk slower than 50 miles per hour. Who does that? - Who takes public transportation? - Sandra Bullock deserved it at. - Who does that? - Who does that? Who doesn't finish highways? That way when buses drive onto them, they have to jump across. Who does that? Who puts spike strips on airfields? That way when buses drive across them, they lose their tires. Who does that? - Does that? - Guys, little stance. - Oh, I love the idea. I like the idea that the reason why Stasi wasn't on this episode is because she was possibly watching speed and analyzing all the things wrong with it. Who does that? - Who's like, I can't, if Sandra Bullock was here celebrating my birthday and the demise of Kristen, then she wouldn't have been on that bus in the first place. That bitch deserves it. Who does that? - Who tries to get off a bus when the terrorist says, if you get off the bus, I'm gonna kill you. - Of course, you're gonna get blown up, old lady. Who does that? - Old people. - Who does that? - Age. - Ageing. - Yeah. - Who does that? - Who gets on an elevator? - Does that? - The editing of that scene was really good 'cause it shows Kristen like, oh my God, he's literally running. And you're like, oh my God, she's right. He did freak out and he did start running. Oh my God, he's totally guilty. And then it cussed to Tom calling Ariana. And he's like, you won't believe it, she just dead. She just, she called my stalker. And now this crazy bitch who's been stalking me is at my place of business. I'm scared. It's like, oh, well that makes sense. Like I can't see why he's scared. It's not like he's, just because he's seen it before doesn't mean he's fucked her. He did meet her and she's been writing about him on like Instagram for months now, so. - It's true. Yeah, exactly. I'm bold. - I see why he's been scared. - What I loved was that, you know, as soon as Tom fled, Kristen's like, all right, I'm gonna take you to where he went to. And so then Kristen and her friend and Emery, they like go the back way and they go to the back area like with the great star where they sit and fight. And then Tom wasn't there and they're looking around and then they like walk out to the sidewalk. And Emery's holding her cosmo the entire time. Emery is fully on the sidewalk in West Hollywood, chasing after Tom holding a drink. I'm like, girl, you're about to get arrested. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Like Tom, Tom, and then when Ariana passes, she's like, Ariana, can we talk? - Everybody's just ignoring. - It was like a very hilarious, slow speed chase of everyone just like speed walking or like drifting quietly, it was amazing. But then you would think that would be the culmination, the pinnacle, the climax. But instead what happens is that like, so then the three girls regroup in the front of the restaurant, smoking cigarettes and all shaken up and, you know, Kristen's like, seriously, you would run. That's like the most guilty thing, like if I like, obviously he did it, like, I see it right now. And then Sheena comes out clearly egged on by the producers 'cause she has like the most staged moment where she's like, excuse me, what just happened there? And you're like, and then I think that moment was staged but then everything else was like Sheena being Sheena, you know? - Well, the whole thing in the restaurant was such a huge deal. It's like a camera crew following Kristen pretending she's having drinks just with some random girl. And then the girl's like, did he even say hi to ya? And Kristen's like, no, like she can't believe how rude Tom's being while she's about to like ruin his line. - Yeah. - Then this girl walks up and Tom leaves, it's like this huge thing. And then Sheena's like, what happened? She's like, Sheena is at first, I'm thinking. - You were stopped. That is classic. All right, I do not want you to ruin my plastic. - Seriously? - Seriously? - Seriously? - Seriously, I got some clasps. - Do some clasps. - Who does that? What dog does that? - He's just side eyeing me right now. Anyway, so it was this huge deal. And then instead of saying like, yeah, bringing a stalker that is so dangerous, who does that? You're acting crazy, blah, blah, blah. She's like, how could you do this on the week of my wedding? - Yeah, that's the best part. First she's like, watch us happen. And then Kristin's like, oh, this is Marie. And she's like, oh, oh, I'm not going to shake her hand. I hope you know I'm not sad. And then, and then she was like, then she flips down. She's like, why would you do this? My wedding is next week and you'll know that. And meanwhile, the best part is that she's flipping out, like Marge from Winnetka, Illinois in the background and it's like her camera up in the background. She's like taking pictures. There's like this middle-aged lady in the background taking pictures. Oh my God, I was dying. It was like the Today Show. And she has her sign. - They have the host and he's like, hello, welcome. - He's like trying to be. - Yeah, Guillermo's trying to get everyone in. And he's like, nothing to see here, nothing to see here. And she is like, stop it! - Kristin's like screaming. I'm not Kristin, she's like screaming. Be like, my wedding is next week. Why would you, like, as if any of this-- - I was gonna jump with fountain! (laughing) - We're gonna be doing the electric slide and you're talking about this now? - Oh my God. - She was like-- - No one is gonna be able to do the mucka right now. (laughing) - Who's gonna pass your nerves? So-- - If you try and call Tom names during the chicken dance, I'm gonna kill ya. - Now, I don't know if you're gonna poison the span of coke at us. - So-- (laughing) - Or try their Joe span of coke at us. - Yeah, you know that's basically what it is, like little mini churros too. - She's like, all right, what are you gonna-- - I have smacking cheeses from our boyo walker up. That means crazy chicken! - We basically took a-- She's like, we took a basket to Costco and put all the samples in there on now. We're passing them around. That's how we do it in Azusa. - Since all the waiters are at the wedding, we brought the Costco sample service to them too. - That's why all our waiters have hair and ants. - We couldn't afford blanket, so we just have little pigs on train. (laughing) - So, so Sheena starts to freak out and then this, one of the managers, what was her name again, Diana or something? - Diormo. - She's like, okay, everyone must go. Everyone go, everyone get out of her, which is what she should have done. And then Chrisens like, no, Diana, fucking get lost. Get out of my fucking face, Diana. I'm just like, whoa, that's your manager of horse face. - Chrisens like, I'm the star of the show and you're, you're not even the owner of this restaurant. Just fuck off, suck it in. - He doesn't even mean suck it in, okay? I don't even know what you're talking about, Chris. Chris dead! - Chris dead! - Seriously? (laughing) Seriously, you're not even the owner of the restaurant. Seriously. - So, yeah, Diana is one of the ones that Lisa and the, I think Diana's married to the other guy. - No, no, no. - It's just like, you would be working here for 13,000 hours a week for free because you're immigrants. But at least your name will be on the lease. Bye! - Don't do that. - No, no, the, there's, no, the, the, one is married to like the other guy, she's like French. And this one, I think, was Italian. - Wow, what, big diff! - Yeah, they're all Europeans, euros. So, - Don't worry, French people, I'm just crying. - So then, I think then what happened next to that, like, Lisa comes in and then Diana's like, "Oh, may I have a word with you, please?" And so, she tells her, she tells Lisa about everything that happened and Lisa's like, "Well, it's time to get, we're gonna have to, we're gonna have to get everyone and ship ship, you know, whatever." Which of course just means that she's gonna like yell at them and then she's like, "Well, but we do, they are good waiters. We can't fire them. We do need waiters right now." You know. - Yeah, 'cause it's so hard to find waiters and it's so fine to find skinny waiters in Los Angeles. Come on, Lisa! - Yeah. So then what happened next? Oh, I think then-- - But it is funny that Lisa, I think it's funny that whenever they call Lisa, they're like, "Lisa, you'll need to come into the work because the people are fighting." She's like, "Oh, darling, I had dinner plans." Like every time she's coming in, she's like, "I've got to be a dinner." - Yeah. - So what's the issue? Because I've got to be a dinner right now. I mean, dinner, it's dinner. I've got to have dinner. - This lady, no one's worried for your eating, okay? You're gonna be, you're gonna be just fine. You're not gonna go hungry, Lisa. - And you know what? - But dinner, darling, that's bad sauce to have dinner. - And darling, you know. - I've got a whole camera crew waiting at the other restaurant, sweetie for dinner. - You know that? - You have to film me eating dinner. Chef Penny's gonna be very upset if I'm not there, darling. She's a very sexy chef. That's a thing, you know, sex, sex, else. - Sexie, she's a sexy, unique chef. That's why we call the restaurant suck. - When she tries to make pigs in a blanket, she literally wraps herself in a blanket and lays there, darling, and lets people eat her. I mean, it's a whole new level of chef's tree. - Chef, she feels they are entire planter with couscous. I just have to eat it. (laughing) The reason why we have so many planters at pump is 'cause they're all filled with various grains that Chef Penny has got. (laughing) - Every planter at pump is filled with gold coins that are manians left behind. In case somebody tries to take over their neighborhood, they've always got somewhere to come home to and eat food from Chef Penny, who's very sexy. - Sexy, so-- - Darling, darling. - I have to get to dinner. Chef Penny is cooking a goat cheese bar the size of a beach ball. - Beef carpatio, yes or no? It's sexy, it's still sexy. I don't care what anybody says. - Darling, I have to get to pump. We're having dinner, and Chef Penny has loaded up a pickup truck full of goat cheese. (laughing) It's Stasi's favorite thing in the world. - I have to get over to pump. Chef Penny has wrapped a fig in bacon, darling. I mean, it's a whole new thing. It's a whole new trend. It's taking over West Hollywood, darling. She's very sexy. - Darling, Chef Penny has come up with something innovative. She's making tuna tartare, and simming it with tartare sauce. (laughing) We call it the tartare squared. (laughing) It comes in a giant planter. - Chef Penny has sliced some apples and is serving almonds on tartare. It's very sexy, I've got to meet him. - Darling, please, you have to come back to the restaurant. I have to get to dinner. Chef Penny is serving a spirit salad. With goat cheese and walnuts. (laughing) It's very modern. Please. (laughing) - That was stupid. (laughing) - Darling, darling, you have to-- - Darling. - All right, all right, bring them out here one by one. I want to talk to each other one by one. Tom, this is your fault because you went to Miami, and then you did Lord knows what with his girl, and he's like-- - So, no, I didn't, Lisa. It's not true. Kristin's crazy, Kristin. - Kristin's crazy, Kristin. (laughing) I like that's just how he ends every sentence. Like, merry Christmas, Kristin. What? Kristin's not here. Well, sorry, I know, but he's not, never mind. Kristin's-- - Oh, there's none in the Holy Spirit, Kristin. (laughing) - I didn't do it, Lisa. I mean, I didn't even do anything. Why would this girl come across the country, darling? I mean, it makes no sense if she didn't even do anything with her. Why would this girl with plastic surgery is desperate for attention all the way across the country, followed by a camera crew, to be on Bravo Television or National Television, if she didn't legitimately have sex with you, darling? I just don't know. - I don't understand. I mean, the next thing you're gonna show me is that the producers went and found her and said, "Please come on our show, we'll pay you $2,000 to come across. "We'll fly you along the way, we'll give you a camera crew, "and we'll put you on TV." I mean, this doesn't make sense, like that would happen. - You know, this is all your thoughts on, for being on an app called Instagram. I mean, that's nothing but trouble. You know, when you work for me, you need to stay off apps, because that's where trouble comes in. All right, Tom, you're on an app. - You know what Tom, you know what they always say? Where there's smoke, there's fire, where there's fire, Chef Penny is making a wood oven burnt pizza, which is very innovative, very innovative. - Have you seen wood in an oven? It has been years. I mean, that's how my mother did things. You know, that's how she died, actually. She was putting wood in an oven, and turns out it was the gas oven, and she brought it down the house. I mean, with herself in it. And I'll tell you, the tortilla she left on the oven was on the stove was delicious, donny. - You know, when Penny started wood oven pizza, it reminded me of my mother, and that's why this restaurant's gonna be so successful. (both laughing) - Do not put that on Instagram, Tom, I swear to you. - I swear, I swear, I swear, don't you dare. The only thing I want to see on Instagram are lovely pictures of Chef Penny's salads with basil and mozzarella and caprese things. - I used to love watching Chef Penny on that sitcom with Kirsty Alley. I mean, she was wonderful. I mean, she gains weight, loses weight, you know. But the important thing is that she never loses her talent, you know, and here she is cooking for me. We're very lucky to have Chef Penny. So, what are you able to say for yourself, Tom? I didn't do it, Kristen. (both laughing) - Still your fault. - All right, then go back to work. Don't leave your post, Tom. All right, don't leave your post. It's just like a war. All right, think of it like a war, all right, Tom? Where in Iraq right now? - And the only ammunition we have are pump teenies and goat cheese balls. That's all we have to stop ISIS. We're at the front lines. - ISIS is about to behead somebody. Do you, A, leave your post? B, wrap them in bacon and figs? We'll see, as Chef Penny, what kind of Lisa Vanderpump alcohol would pair with this meal? Pears what you do, you get to your post, you flip your catapult tuna tart on, you fling it at the terrorists, that's what you do. You don't abandon your post right when we're fighting ISIS? - Nothing scares the terrorists more than shaved beef that looks like vaginas. Flinging at their face and be done with them, darling. They'll be bombing themselves. - And while you're at it, why don't you fling some sexy, sticky, taffy, taffy pudding? (both laughing) - Tom, Chef Penny makes the best sticky, taffy pudding. I've seen this new thing. It's called Yorkshire Puds. (both laughing) Chef Penny's on the forefront of all the nonary trends. Have you tried a salmon mousse? (both laughing) (both laughing) - Have you tried Chef Penny's enchiladas? I'm sure there'll be no more, I'm sure ISIS wouldn't have anything to complain about, I think I tried Chef Penny's food. - Oh my God. - Tom. (both laughing) - Castellan? - I'm sorry, I haven't tried it, Kristin. Who are you calling Kristin? I'm sorry. Kristin. - Kristin? - I mean, so I'm sorry about Kristin. (both laughing) - Okay, what's happening? You don't leave your post, Tom. All right, so then she's like, "All right then, now next, cindary on out." - Yeah. - Oh, no, no. First was Cena. - Oh, yeah, she's like-- - Like, Cena, I'm very disappointed to hear that you were screaming at people. (both laughing) - How long-- - Oh my God, I can't believe it. - How long have you worked? How long have you worked for me, Cena? - She's fine. - Long enough for my face to have gone through 20 different looks, we're all fine. - Long enough for Azuda to become its own city. (both laughing) - Long enough for us to become best friends. (both laughing) - Long enough for an outpost to open up in Azusa. I'm an outback. (both laughing) An outback outpost. - Long enough-- - If you ever scream at anyone in one of my restaurants again, I'm instructing Chef Penny to never make you another jalapeno popper. (both laughing) - If you ever yell at another customer, my restaurant, I will have you transfer to the elephant bar immediately. (both laughing) - The elephant bar of Justin. (both laughing) - Oh my God. - All right, if you did, she no apologize. And then Ariana, now I forgot this part. I remember singing on the preview, but I forget what Ariana's answer was when Lisa was like, "Listen, Tom." I mean, how do you know that Tom wasn't out there? You know, I think it's weird that this girl, he goes to Miami, you know, I know Tom, yeah. And your Tom goes off to Miami, and some girl says they had sex. I mean, why wouldn't she believe that? And Ariana's like, "Dude!" - Yeah, dude. (both laughing) And Lisa's like, "Dude?" The other one who gets called me, "Dude, is Chef Penny." And only when she's making her huevo on show us. (both laughing) - That reminded me of when I went to a dude ranch with Ken. - Oh my God. - So what was Ariana's reaction? Did she say? - Ariana was just like, you know, like I'm trying to be the bigger person, yada, yada, yada. And I wasn't intending to leave. And then all of a sudden I left, and I'm sorry, blah, blah, dude. - She's like, "All right, then." - That's what I needed to hear. - All right, now I'm next, bring in Chef Penny. She's like, "When you are on Food Network Star, "did you cook them tuna tartar the way you cooked it for me "because it is simply one of a kind at pump." (both laughing) I'll be furious if you cook it. - Penny, darling, what temperature are you cooking that new creation tuna tartar to? - Penny. - Thanks, Zing. - Penny, have you thought of pairing the tuna tartar with plantain chips because that would just be innovative? - You know what we do in England? We put tuna fish with mayonnaise. - Mayonnaise. - I think we should bring that over here. Change everything. We're gonna change West Hollywood, darling. - Darling, I have a new idea. Chef Penny, here's what I think. On the menu, instead of fish or chips, how about fish and chips? - But instead of chips, we'll serve french fries. - I mean, it's gonna change the world, Penny. - It's gonna change-- - Penny, Penny. - Instead of serving just steak, have at steak and fries. And if you call it steak, frites, it's just very cutting edge. - How about instead of steak tartar, we'll serve steak tartar. And it'll be steak with tartar sauce, I think. It's gonna change West Hollywood. - Darling. - It's very sexy. - Darling, I just love you. I just love your molten chocolate cakes. (laughing) - That was like-- - We're gonna start a trend. No one's gonna finish cooking the cake from now on. - That was gonna become a thing. - That was just a wild moment for me, Chef Penny. - Too much milk and the oven's on too high. I mean, who knew, darling? - Yeah. - It's completely changing my life. (laughing) Oh my God, okay, we have to stop talking about Lisa, 'cause now I'm just laughing and we're not even making any-- - We are like, we're just trying to think of-- - Every trend from the '80s. Darling, I've got a great idea. How about instead of cooking the fish? We just serve raw fish and just call it sushi. (laughing) - No wait, darling, I've got a better idea. Wrap rice around it so people can pick it up with their fingers. - I mean, come on, darling. (laughing) - I mean, it feels like that. - I like ocean. There wouldn't be any fish left because people would just go over there and pick the muffin. - I like that we've now made, using the beginning of the podcast, Lisa was impressed with Penny's innovations, but now Lisa is creating the innovations and frustrated that Penny isn't coming up with him. I mean, come on, Penny. (laughing) Come on, darling. - Listen, sex, if it's gonna be sexy, it's gotta change, change, change every day, darling. - Darling, here's what I want you to do. You're gonna take a Caesar salad, but you're gonna totally deconstruct it. You'll have a wedge of lettuce here. You'll have some salad dressing here and you'll have an anchovy on the right and you call it a deconstructed Caesar salad. How about instead of serving a salad, we just cut a head of lettuce into a quarter and just pour blue cheese on it. I mean, boom, darling. You can give those out in five seconds. It's gonna take over West Hollywood. - Darling, here's what you do. You find a crab. You take a mallet, you smash it in half, you take out all the meat, you cook the meat, you throw some breadcrumbs in there and you know what you call it? You call it a crab cake. Darling, it will set the world to fire. (laughing) (laughing) - Let's have an entire section of the menu, darling. All right, listen to this. We're gonna have an entire section of the menu where people can order a little thing that they'll have first and then later an entree will come out and there's like two different courses. It's like the French do, darling. It's gonna take over West Hollywood. We'll call them appetizers. (laughing) - Darling, here's what we're gonna do. We're just gonna take a bunch of jello, okay? And we're just gonna make a model called Aspic, all right? And that's just gonna be what they'll use. (laughing) - All right, Penny, just make whatever you want, put it on a tray. I'm gonna call Kyle Richards over, stress her out about something and then we're just gonna get lots of shots of her shoving things in her mouth, darling, 'cause that's sexy, that's what people want to see. (laughing) It's gonna be almost so commercial. - Everyone, everyone, please come to pub. Chef Penny has something wonderful to do to premiere. It's called Poached Salmon. (laughing) And it comes with a dill sauce. - Unlock your imagination with Audible. When you listen to audio content, your mind is free to paint the scenes and feel the emotions of a great story. - Audible's extensive catalog is sure to have titles that you'll enjoy, immerse yourself in captivating tales, learn from world-renowned experts and discover new perspectives all while multitasking or relaxing. - There's more to imagine when you listen and one title that I've been listening to is my friend Neil J. Young's coming out Republican, which talks about the history of gay Republicans. It's super fascinating and super interesting. - As an Audible member, you choose one title a month to keep from their entire catalog. - New members can try Audible free for 30 days. Visit audible.com/crapins or text Crapins to 500-500. That's audible.com/crapins or text Crapins to 500-500. This episode is sponsored by DoorDash. - We're back to tell you more about the latest dash pass annual plan benefit, stream max with ads included at no extra cost. - You know what's a great night for us? Ordering DoorDash and cuddling up to watch the max original hacks. - Which one, best comedy? - Deservately so and we love tuning in to see not only icon Gene Smart, but the wonderful and incomparable Rose Abdu, who also is a huge Bravo fan. - Listen, I'm always in the mood for hacks, but you never know what kind of food I'm in the mood for. Sometimes it's pizza, sometimes it's a salad and I can get both with DoorDash. - How about some ice cream? That's what I like to eat with my hacks. - 100% I will double dash. I will get a salad and then double dash some ice cream. Why not? - Sign up for a dash pass annual plan and get max included at no extra cost. - It's your door to more. - Max is now included with your dash pass annual plan. Stream max with ads up to $120 value included at no extra cost. - Terms apply, see doorDash.com/maxfor details. - Darling, it's gonna set the world of fire. - Wait, you couldn't listen to plastic bag, darling. (laughing) You put it in the plastic bag and then put the plastic bag in the wall. No, darling, that'll never work. - Get rid of it. That's not sexy. - Chef and what's the fish wrap? - Chef Penny, I asked you to be innovative, not crazy. (laughing) Chef Penny, what are you saying you're gonna put an egg on it, a poached egg on it? This is ridiculous. - A poached egg on a hamburger. All right, now you're insane, Chef Penny. All right, you've gone from sexy to just a whore, a dirty whore, leaking her terrible ideas all over the chairs of my restaurant. Stop sitting down with your terrible leaky vagina ideas. Get out, get out. - Chef Penny, Chef Penny, did I read this right? You're putting blue cheese on a burger. What sort of madness is this? I've been talking you up at sir all this time. - Calmly rising onions, darling, onions are not candy. That is not sexy. Get out, actually don't get out because your shift isn't done and your post isn't, and no one leaves during that post. Just go stand behind that pot. Stand behind that pot and face the wall. Kiss the wall, and just climb into that planter and think about what you've done to this menu. Turkey meatloaf, I've never seen such a thing. - Oh my God. - Okay, so then, that was it, right? Okay, so this bitch from Miami. - Yes. - What else did she do, except wander around going? - We had facts! - So basically, once the time-- - I can't believe that they had sectional. Let's just get down to the nitty grits. - Oh, it's stunning. - You know, I don't know, I want to say no, but last season, I really believe Tom, when he said he never did anything with Ariana, and then he did something with Ariana, so I'm gonna say yes. - And then next week, we see that horse face number two's boyfriend did cheat on her. - Yes. - All on that same trip. - No, it may get-- - And a pussy finds out because Jack's hands over the text to Kristen. Meanwhile, Jack's this episode, what are Jack's? Oh, Jack's took Carmen back to the Sunset Grill. I swear to God, this is the most traffic, the traffic that place has ever seen. - That actually made me want to try the Sunset Grill. - I know, me too, isn't that crazy? It really works. - No, I do need a restaurant in the neighborhood to go to. - Right, let's go there. - Let's go there. - You decided to raise, I mean Whole Foods, were you not expensive enough? Did you need to add a dollar to the price of your pizza slices? And did you need to change your chocolate almonds to 17.99 a pound? Go fuck yourself. - How the, oh, Jesus, that's ridiculous. - Fucking assholes, fuck you Whole Foods. And all your food is over salted anyway. I'm lucky I live by a subway. I'm not going to do any more Whole Foods. I actually ate peanut M&M's last night instead of chocolate almonds. And yes, I felt very poor. - I just-- - But I also did not spend $18. - Good for you. I just actually bought some chocolate almonds at Fresh and Easy for $4.99. That's what I did. So anyway, so Jack's took Carmen to the restaurant. And by the way, I have to thank Shannon Math McPherson, who posted on our Facebook page a picture of the seagulls from Finding Nemo, saying mine, mine, mine. Ooh, I think, did we lose? - Yeah, you just noticed you lost me. I was still screaming about Whole Foods. - Oh, I'm sorry, it's-- - Like your best guy bringing you guys. - It's okay, it's okay. This episode has been brought to you by Whole Foods. - Yeah, it's funny because I was surprised that you didn't really react to the fact that I'd got chocolate almonds for $4.99. Fresh and Easy. Ronnie, what I was saying-- - Holy crap, I'm just totally going to Fresh and Easy. - Fresh and Easy is the best. - I'm shopping. So I used to, but then it was like, "Oh, you have to spend all your Fresh and Easy money "because we're closing in a week." And then they didn't close and then-- - No, come back. Martin Lawrence Balard shops there for crying out loud. - Mm. So, what I was saying-- - Do you have any tuna-tah-tah? - Don't shut up. - I'm about to hit the sexy restaurant next to the happy guy. (laughing) - So, look, I hear that chef Penny buys all her restaurant supplies here at Fresh and Easy. (laughing) Do you happen to have any good-to-go pre-cooked meals, mashed potato and chicken on the side? - Have you ever heard of fish wrapped in rice? Give me some of that, darling. (laughing) So, anyway, what I was saying was that Shannon Mass McPherson posted a picture on our Facebook wall of the seagulls from Finding Nemo. That's a mine, mine, mine, and honestly, it's hilarious. 'Cause if you look at that picture, it really does look like Carmen. It looks like Carmen's putting her head forward. (laughing) It looks like she's like, huh? Jacks, Jacks, Jacks, Jacks? And she seems like a sweet girl, too. I don't mean to be mean. It's not even mean, it's just like, it's actually-- - Oh my God, okay, I have to break in with a personal story because the other day, you know, I'm kind of a herman. I work from home, I'm always home. It's like, go out like once every two weeks. So, some of my friends, I saw some friends at a party and they're like, hey, we haven't like really connected, man. Let's go have some lunch together. And so, well, we went to like an early dinner and it was two girlfriends who are so nice. Some of my normal friends, you know, and they're just so fucking nice, both of 'em. So we're talking and they don't listen to the podcast to read me in my recaps as any, none of my friends do, or they wouldn't be my friend. But so we're talking and they're like, oh, we love the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Talk about that and I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah. So we start talking about it and like, well, what do you say about it? I was like, well, you know, I tend to be like a sitcom where I make the same joke over and over again every week, just like kind of reword it. Like Kyle's thing is that she's always got back fat and they're like, Ronnie, God, Ronnie, why would you say that? I'm like, 'cause she has back fat. And I'm like, hangs out. She's always wearing like these things that are like really tight and then her back fat hangs over and they're like, oh, that Ronnie, that's really, I mean, you know, that's really gross. I don't like that, you know, sexist. It's disrespectful, it's not only Kyle, but women. I was like, oh my God, how am I even friends with these bitches? We've been friends for like a decade. It's not like I just met them. I said, you do know me, right? Like I'm a horrible person. No, you're so nice. I love your impersonation of these girls. I can totally imagine what they're like. Yeah, they're like totally sweet. And I guess I'm not as mean in my real life. So they're surprised. Yeah, I always thought that was funny. I always tell people that like when I'm driving Uber every now and then people ask what I do and everything. And I'll mention that I have a podcast and whatever. And some people get really interested in it and they're like, oh my God, tell us about the podcast. And I'm always like, well, you know, I do this. It's basically like two gay guys talking about Bravo. And I'm always like, it's weird because when I do the podcast, I become so much catier. I'm like, I'm like, it's like the way when I'm driving, I'm talking to them, I'm like, this is the way I am normally. But when we press record, all of a sudden, it's like this crazy, catty side comes out. We're like, look at her weave or whatever. She looks like one of the seagulls from Flying Nemo. Oh my God, that is so hilarious. I'm so glad you brought that up because I saw that picture that she posted. And I remembered that we made fun of that girl. I mean, I remember we were saying something about mine, mine, mine, mine. Yeah, I didn't remember why. That is hilarious that you said she looks like that. Doesn't she? She looks exactly like that. It's so funny. I mean, it's actually like, and you know what? It's actually not, it's like, it's an adorable seagull. Like she, I mean, Carmen's cute. But so she has that cute animated seagull look to her. Yeah, the seagull's cute too. Yeah, but it's like it's-- And Jackson probably fucked the seagull too. I mean, that's like the moral of the story. Let's be honest, he'd fuck the seagull and Dory. Yeah. He'd mouth breathe all over that seagull and do so. Yeah, and he would honestly, Bruce the shark is not off limits either. I told you I wasn't a good person. OK, so where were we before Whole Foods cut me off of my rant? OK, so stuff happened. I'm trying to remember what happened, because there was a whole second half of the episode. There was some more stuff about Katie talking about Stasi. Katie told-- like, Tom was at a modeling shoot. Tom was looking super cute. And Katie was like, well, I just can't believe she would throw out the friendship over just this like-- I was there for her, I gave her a bed to sleep on. I gave her a shoulder to cry on. And then the moment I go away for something, then she throws out the entire friendship. You know, that stuff. I feel like we're missing something a bit. Lazy ad horse face number two. When she was in the car with the boys, and they were making fun of her for not being Stasi's bitch anymore, and she was like, I'm no one's bitch. Yeah, you are. But I just felt bad for her, because it's like the one episode-- I guess it's the second episode. She's finally cool. After like three years, she's a total C word. And now she's being so nice and so cool. And she's like talking to two guys, making fun of them, because they smell like total-- Including one guy who's trying to break up her relationship with Tom. Yeah. And she's like being nice to Jack's even. And she's being cool, even though they smell-- she just picked them up smelling reeking of booze, you know? And she's being really cool. And then next week, she finds out her boyfriend was-- [LAUGHTER] Well, it's like, you can't win on this show. You cannot win. Well, you know, like once the season, Katie just gets shot on in a big way. You know, like she gets water dumped on her head. I have different hair now. I'm like, I gained 20 pounds. I don't care. I don't give a shit. It's like, oh, no. I know. I know. I know. I think Katie is actually on the upswing. I think Katie is crossing over into the, hey, you know, I think I like Katie. I think I feel like she's-- You know, she's standing up to the bully. That's how Bravo gets you. And also, Brandi's trying this again. I guess we should just ease on over to the other shows now. But Brandi is trying this again by acting like a victim to get people to like her again. And it's just-- it doesn't work the second time, you know? Wait, before we go to Beverly Hills, I feel like-- It's like if Jesus got crucified again, people would be like, oh, Jesus is being-- Jesus is on the cross again. Jesus. Jesus. Christ and-- Christ and-- Seriously, Jesus-- Jesus Christ, Christ and-- Jesus Christ, Jesus. [LAUGHTER] Like, I didn't know what to do. Jesus showed up at the bar and like, Jesus has been stalking me. Like, it didn't my brain, so I had to leave. That's so funny. I honestly don't remember what happened like the second-- I know that there was like, Lisa was like, I've got to talk to Kristin. And Kristin would be like, Jesus. Darling, you left the cave we buried you in, all right? Do not leave your post, Jesus, all right? Because he rose again, fam, OK? I know that you're missing that part nearby. I'm like, I'm Jewish, I don't understand these things. [LAUGHTER] You're like, everyone was talking about seeing you fly up into the air, Jesus. You know, you were supposed to be making van der Tini's. [LAUGHTER] Darling, you just can't do that. You can't just abandon Chef Penny like that. She's making spinach and artichoke dip. It's better set the world to fire. Chef Penny, have you heard of a man named Jesus? No, the other one. Yes, darling. He has learned how to make water into wine, darling. I mean, that is so sexy. We're taking over West Hollywood, you're fired. Go behind the pot. Behind the pot with you, Chef Penny. [LAUGHTER] I can't. I can't. I can't. So funny. OK, so let's move over to Beverly Hills. If we missed something on Vanderpump rules, we could probably guess nothing. We did not miss one day of playing. What was the cliffhanger? What was-- it was just Christian? Oh, the cliffhanger was next week. We find out that all the guys were lying, and they really did fuck all these people in Miami, apparently. Yeah, but what happened to Anne-Marie? She just-- oh, security-- Which ones are-- oh, the slut? Yeah. Security threw her out, and I think that's the end of her. Lisa's not going to let her ass back in there. She's going to take her mingle face back in there. No, Lisa's going to do one of you, because it's going to be drama. Lisa'll be like, well, I don't want her in this restaurant again, but we do need customers. So who am I to turn away someone? We do need a busboy, don't we? Oh, you know what was-- we forgot about Sheena working on her song with James. She's like-- oh, yeah, that was so funny. When I walk into the club, everyone seems I'm wearing shoes, and I got cool eyes. Everyone's like, why in the club? They're like, why in the club? And I'm all seriously in the club, in the club, club, club. And I wash my hands, a lady hands me a towel, that she wants a dollar in the club, club, club. And I'm like, no, bitch, no. My hands are clean. Thank you. My job, Sheena, my strong. She's like, see me next week when I play the Howard Johnson's in Utica, New York. Howard Johnson was cousins with Howard Hughes, but he changed his last name because he didn't want to be twins. [LAUGHING] You can catch me at the loving hot off of Route 91. See you there. Spearman rhino's not just a flavor of gum. It's also where I'll be performing my new single, washing my hands in the club. Sexily. You can catch me on my tour when it comes through Justin, I'll be at the Poio Compero, doing all my greatest hits. I'll be inside the Alpoio Lawgirl waiting for all the mac and cheese to be cooked for my wedding buffet. Oh my god, is MJ opening the refrigerator over there? Jesus. I'm just trying to get out as quickly as possible. Yeah, there's-- I don't know what's-- I think it's just the trash is like-- It's like peep, peep, peep, peep. Uh oh. MJ is getting some nature's bars. [LAUGHING] Oh my god. That's the first thing I thought of in MJ's fridge. Nature bars. Nature bars. Oh my god, Shino, you have Shino's song. I can't wait for that. Is she going to perform it at her wedding? She was making a joke about it, but you know she will. She's wearing a fucking two piece through her wedding. I'm sure she'll be-- I'm sure she'll be singing her song. She'll be pulling a Kenyan more from celebrity apprentice and like getting on the floor and grinding her hips. People will leave comic cards at her wedding. This wedding was totally inappropriate. She'll be like, but first I'm going to do a dry run at Cece's pizza. Catch me there. [MUSIC PLAYING] [LAUGHING] Hey, have you guys ever heard of mangoes on a pizza? You have now. Oh my god, tell Chef Penny about that. Chef Penny's wine. Chef Penny's-- Chef Penny's introducing a brand new-- brand new Conary Delight to the world. It's barbecue chicken pizza. [LAUGHING] Chef Penny, get out from behind that pot and get over here, darling. We've got things to discuss. Chef Penny, Tom Caligio is coming through to audition you for Best New Restaurant in America. Get that barbecue chicken pizza ready right now on a side of tuna tartar. Do it now. Don't abandon your post. Tom, Tom sit over here, and while you wait for your pizza, Sheena's going to sing a song for you that she just premiered at the Cinnabon at the Beverly Center. Sheena, darling, I never thought I would hear your song, but then I was at a Chipotle, and I was eating a sassafras, burrito, and it came on, darling. Someone singing about washing their hands is actually-- I mean, congratulations, darling. You've made it. Sheena, darling, what was that song you premiered at the Old Spaghetti Factory? Who was the song about grinding? No, no, the one about the butler, the one about getting raped in a van that was a joke. Oh, no, no. My apologies. That was the one you sang at Payway, Asian Diner. Oh, it was from the Swallow album, darling. Which one was that? I don't remember, darling. But don't leave your post. Darling, what was that song you sang at Tony Romas? I just loved it. Darling, do you remember when you were at Red Lobster and you got in trouble for singing your song when they brought up the cheesy biscuits? I mean, that wasn't fair, darling. It's true. Life isn't always fair, darling. But don't leave your post. That's the point. Darling, what was that wonderful song you debuted at FUD Records? I just can't remember the name of it. Oh, my God. OK, we have to move on to different. We have to. So this podcast is going to be 20 hours later. This is going to be 80s food jam. We are 54 minutes in. And we've spent 13 minutes of it actually talking about-- OK, before we talk about Beverly Hills, and can we actually talk about this new show? Because we should talk about other shows besides just how-- Yeah, we actually-- this is actually a perfect segue into Best New Restaurant. OK, so Best New Restaurant, that's what it's called. And oddly enough, "Pump" was not on this show. I don't know why. Chef Penny was totally iced out. This show should be on the Food Network, because it's basically just a template of all Food Network shows. It's really low quality, low budge. It's like that show Chef wanted with Amberlle, which I love, by the way. But that's where Amberlle just goes and yells at chefs who are trying to get jobs in restaurants. And that's really fun, but that's basically what this show is. People come in, they have to serve 40 people at once, and what's the point? You know, I mean, I watch a British one, and I guess they did some of this stuff. But again, as I've said a zillion times, the versions over there are so much better, because they're actually about the food and what they're cooking and the history of the food and why they make it. Yeah. This is just like watching people run around like idiots and getting yelled at by chefs who don't know what they're fucking talking about on TV. Done, not watching. I'll turn it off halfway through. I thought it was fine, inoffensive. I watched the first half. I was going to come back and watch the second half because I got pulled away, and I never did. And I was like, yeah, I'm OK with that, because I don't know if I care about the best new restaurant. You know, I don't know, it was like-- I thought it was like a step up, actually, from the Food Network shows. I thought it felt a little-- because I had the bravo production values, which are better than the Food Network production values. And no, I feel like Tom clickio does-- clickio, clickio. He does bring sort of an authority that I don't feel like half the people on Food Network have. But that being said, I was like, oh, OK. I mean, it's fine. I'll watch it if it's on. I don't know how much authority is the people on Food Network. I don't think he has more. I think he has more than Robert Irvine, like more than Robert Irvine, who lied his way onto that. Oh, yeah. But he doesn't have more than, like, Amber Row or-- No, Amber Row has-- Play, even though Bobby Flair don't think it's that great. I'm thinking more like-- That they have like real restaurants. I'm thinking more like that, like, what was that? Like, the restaurant undercover thing, where there's like that stupid guy. Oh, yeah, I can't-- Like, those people like that, you know? Yeah, I don't want to. I don't know. I'm speaking specifically about Chef Wanted, because it's basically-- it's based on a British show, but it's basically Chef Wanted. It's like the same format, except no chefs get fired. But why would you have a food show and not even show the food, or talk about the food at all? Well, I think actually, well, if Bravo-- maybe this is crazy, but Bravo should maybe do like a food travelogue series, where it's not a competition. It's just like-- people who watch Top Chef are obviously interested in food. So maybe it'd be, rather than like put in a silly competition, it's just like these are places that Tom likes, you know? I mean, I know that's kind of generic, and sort of like middle of the afternoon type of show that would be on like the travel channel circa 2003. But I don't know. I mean, just-- I think these competition shows, Bravo is trying, and they just are not working, and so many of the food competition shows have been kind of like taken by a food network and run into the ground. Yeah, I just wish they were about the food. I was watching a season one Top Chef. I don't even know why, but I have it on my computer. And Tiffany, who was like the evil one in that season, she was making a gnocchi, some kind. And I remember-- and this was a while ago, but I was like, why-- how is she making gnocchi in an hour? I don't believe it. But then she was actually like, well, first with gnocchi, you know, you have to get this, and then you have to chill it, and then you have to do this to the dough, and then you have to do that, and then you have to blah, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, oh, they actually used to cook on this show. It's not like, now, where it's like, oh my god, run around Whole Foods, oh my god, sir, deans. Get sir, deans on sale, oh my god. Oh my god, oh my god, I forgot the tomatoes. Oh my god, I forgot the tomatoes. I hate my brother. I hate my brother. My brother's here to help me cook, and I hate him. Oh, now I like him. What does any of this have to do with fucking food? No one even has to know how to cook on that show anymore. And it used to also be that the show would like take chefs and cooks from different walks of life. Like, you'd have people who worked in fine dining, people who worked in catering, people who were students. I got, like, there was Stephen, who was a simile yay, but who knew that, because it used to be like-- Oh my god, that fucking guy. Oh, I saw it. I saw he rode by me on a bicycle, like last week on Fairfax. I was like, oh, there he is. That's Stephen, the guy. I'm riding the bike. I tried to bless him. That's like when I saw Marcel doing laundry at my laundromat. No. I told you that. I saw him, and I was like, what are you doing here? And he's like, doing laundry. And I was like, what? I have laundry. I was just like, that is the saddest thing I've ever seen. All right, what's the point of being famous, if you have to do your goddamn laundry by yourself? Darling, shit stains. All right, wait a minute. Not me, myself, myself. So why don't we move on to Real House has a Beverly Hills now? Yes. Real Housewives of Bev's. Bev Hills. Bev Hills. Bevby Hills. Another good episode. Where do we begin? Because we opened with the same fight as last week, which just got more and more hilarious. Because then it became Brandy and Kim outside being wasted. And then Kyle trying to make some big drama on camera with Kim, which someone said this in the comment of my recap, which you should read at Trash Talk TV. Which I thought was a very good point. Yes, Brandy shouldn't have been getting in her way and stuff. But Kyle should not be trying to have a drunken fight with her drunk sister on national TV. Kyle does that shit too much. And it puts her sister in a really, really bad place. Not for that. You know, I ain't going to stand up for Kim. Well, I think that Kyle, if I remember correctly, the truth was that in the beginning-- I mean, at the end of the last episode, wasn't she just trying to get Kim to stay a little bit longer and eat some food and get some food in her system? That's why there was a pizza involved, right? She was like, eat some food, only eat some food, you know? And instead, Kim was going off, and then so Kyle was going after her. And then that's when Brandy shoved her down the stairs and the pizza fell on the floor. I don't even think-- I don't even remember it being anything that involved. I think it was just Kim came out to Brandy and was like, come, meet me, and come to law. And then Kyle came up and was like, what's up? And then Brandy was like, you stay away from her. Yeah, and it became this big invariant. But then it just became Kyle just trying to get to Kim and be like, get out of my fucking face. I don't want to talk to you, Brandy. And Brandy's like, but she heard my finger. Look at my finger. I know. And Brandy, when everything is under me, my name is over me. That's squealing. I can't with that fucking squealing. I know, Brandy. Brandy's like Emily Mortimer-- was that Emily Mortimer? Yeah, on season one of "30 Rock" when she was dating Alec Baldwin, and she had like that bird bone disease. She's like, she couldn't be touched because her bones would shatter easily. Brandy's like, oh my god, you touched my arm. I just better not swell up. You broke my arm. I mean, she always has a cast or something. [LAUGHING] It's just so ridiculous. It's like a fucking-- it's like when you go to the dog pound and you're like, are they killing the dogs right now? Like during visiting hours? Right. And you know, it's just not-- whatever Kyle's intention was, it was not Brandy's place to get in the middle of that. The only time I think you get in the middle of a situation like that is if one sibling is actually toxic to the other one. It's like a bad influence. It's going to harm the other one. No. I mean, Brandy has been waiting to have this fight. Yeah. This whole time that she's been talking to Kim. And the only reason she even listens to Kim is not because she's friends with Kim. It's so she can use it against Kyle later, which she's totally doing. Like Brandy's so transparent. Thank God. She's trashy. Trashy and transparent. But why do you think she wants to do that? Why do you think she wants to drive that wedge and use it against-- why? Because she still-- Brandy doesn't have any real friends, first of all. The only friend that she has that we've seen that's like a real friend to her in real life is a drug counselor. Yeah, Jennifer Jimenez. OK? And Jennifer Jimenez is friends with her. I guess the same reason we would be friends with like-- I don't want to be offensive. But I don't know. Never mind. I don't want to go down that road. But I don't know. It's like a project. She's friends with somebody that maybe she could help or-- I mean, I don't know. I don't know. Jennifer Jimenez is by the way. I know that Brandy's not-- Brandy's always looking for who she can fight with. That's the first thing she does is who can she go against? Yeah. I think Brandy likes having a damaged little bird like Kim, who will call her up and be like, I need help. And I think it makes Brandy feel relevant, because she's just not relevant to anyone's lives. And so to have someone who calls her and is like, I'm feeling sad. It makes Brandy feel special. And I think she's also-- there are certain people out there who like to kind of brag about their friendships with people. And I think the fact that she's friends with Kim-- it's not so much that she necessarily wants to use it against Kyle to get revenge or anything. It's more just-- I think she just likes to brag about the fact that she's so close to with Kim, because it makes her feel important. I think she's just-- I think the worst of her. So I think she's just doing it to use it in a fight against Kyle. And I'm probably Kim later, you know? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, she will turn on. Because already, she's like, well, I mean, Kim can say whatever she wants, but she fell off the wagon, period. That's it. That's the end of it. It's like, yes, that's true, but that's not very nice. Like, it's just not a way you would act towards a friend. Yeah. Just bugs me. She's just not a nice girl, Ben, OK? That is my official diagnosis. She's crazy. I mean, let's talk-- I mean, she's a nut job. She wants attention. I used to think Brandi was great. I used to think that she was someone who-- I used to stick up fur, because I thought she was someone who-- when she backed into a corner, she would then lash out, because she sounded like she had a rough child and everything. And I felt empathy for her. But now I'm like, no, she's just nuts. And people who are nice to her, she eventually turns on, because, I don't know, she's my sugar nut. Yeah, she is. She's just a nasty girl. So Volley Jones has requested that we read Kim's blog in Kim's voice. So I have pulled up Kim's blog. And I won't read the whole thing, because it's like three paragraphs, which is really long for Kim. But she's so delusional, OK? Kim. Can she be worried, not embarrassed by Kim Richards? I think this episode should be renamed Awkward! [LAUGHING] The events that happen were definitely tough on a personal level. But at the same time, I can't help but have a laugh about it in the end. All I can say is, there's so much more than what means side. Let me give you the behind the scenes scoop. [LAUGHING] I sense that there's some artistic liberty going on. Basically. I'm working on her laugh. We've never done her laugh. But she does laugh like that. She's like, [LAUGHING] It sounds like a bird calling backwards on a record that you're playing backwards. Yeah. Oh my god. But like a squirrel. Those are known as the squirrels make. [LAUGHING] Yeah, that laugh means. I have a nut. I have a nut. I have a nut. I have a nut. [LAUGHING] Well, how are you diving into the mean of the drama? Can I just point out the limo conversations? Here we go again. Every time we're in a limo, it's like the real vagina monologues. As for brandy sexual fantasy, that was no surprise. [LAUGHING] OK, let me just blah, blah, blah. OK, and here's the backstory of the whole podcast. Before the Parker party took place, I'd been struggling with bronchitis and pneumonia for weeks. I went to the doctor several times because I was already bullshit, OK? Yeah. I don't even want to read it in her voice. I went to the doctor several times because I was in so much pain. So I really was in no shape to go to the spa day or poker night. And I definitely didn't want to go out when Monty came back to the house before poker night after being gone for a couple of days. I just wanted to stay at home with him, but I had to go to Eileen's with the girls. By the way, OK, cray, cray, you can't even follow your own lies, and they're recorded on TV. You just said on TV that Monty was not there. And bronchitis and pneumonia don't put you in pain. They just like, you cough a lot, but there's no pain involved. Yeah, you don't take actual pain pills for that. You take my quote. You take antibiotics, and you don't take-- Why would you give a pain killer? She was like, yeah, man, I got radiation from my bronchitis. Injected it, and it just makes it a little heroin because radiation hurts. I took the pain medication from Monty, thinking it can get me through the pain I was experiencing. Little did I know, it just made me kind of out of it. But seriously, if I knew the medication was going to affect me in a negative way, I would never have taken it. A careless decision on my part. Lesson learned. Also, I was hurt that all Kyle could say was how embarrassed he was. As the sister, I would be worried, not embarrassed. I'm just grateful that Brandi was a good friend and supported me. But I don't understand as why so many of the girls tried to make me stay when all I wanted to do was go home and rest after it got awkward. Why would anyone want to make the situation worse after me and Kyle's bathroom confrontation? Sometimes we all just have to quote unquote, let it go. Don't bring Elsa into this. Yeah. Don't do that. In the next episode, you will see that I end up in the hospital with major injuries due to being sick. But because of my history, some people automatically assume one thing, even though they have been seen nothing but strength and courage in my sobriety for the last three years. To quote myself, if I may, I have nothing to hide from anybody. Well-- Great quote, Kyle. Yeah, exactly. That's going to go down to the history book. And congratulations on granting yourself permission to quote yourself. But the thing is this, Kim doesn't have the right to be mad at Kyle for being embarrassed. Kim fell off-- OK. OK. Kim fell off the wagon. I'm sorry. And that's the thing with the 12 steps, is that who you are when you are not sober is it's not who you are. And this has always been the problem with Kim. It's that you have to apologize for your behavior. Because you've never, ever-- And she's never that she always gets mad at Kyle for the way Kyle reacted. It's not-- Kyle is entitled to act the way she did. Because you were being-- you were not sober. You were not in your right mind. And it wasn't a confrontation. Kyle was saying, Kim, you seem like your shit face. You shouldn't be like, what are you doing? Yeah. And why should-- She wasn't embarrassed for you, idiot, not herself. Yeah, why should she not be embarrassed? One of the best-- yeah, the fact that Kim is sitting here saying that she's mad at how Kyle reacted, or that all these ladies were just overreacting to Kim, like taking a little pain medication for her very serious issue. I mean, it's just another example of Kim taking zero responsibility. And another reason why I don't believe for one second that she's sober. No, I just don't believe it. And you know what, I'm not saying that in a catty way. Like, ew, she's that sober. Like, I get it. It's not easy, you know? Yeah, of course. I understand addiction pretty well. And I don't really have much control over it either. So I'm not really saying she should or she shouldn't. But at least own your shit, lady. And this lady cannot own her shit. She's never been able to. And there's a reason that they never fucking film with her. They never film with her. Because either she's sober, which she doesn't even know what to do with herself when she's sober, because she never is. Or she's just not shown, which makes me think she's probably not sober. And I think if anybody's pissed off, it's Kyle, because you know Kyle has some kind of deal with them, not to be showing Kim in that state, because she keeps dragging Kim on this show, so she doesn't have to support her for the rest of her life. And Kim can get a paycheck for a couple of years. But the whole thing is that she's stuck with this baggage, you know? But the whole thing is that I thought the whole thing was that Bravo wants to get rid of Kim, but Kyle was like nowhere a package deal to get rid of Kim, you know what I'm saying? Like, she wants to keep Kim so that Kim keeps getting a paycheck and doesn't ask for a loan. But she doesn't actually want them filming Kim, because Kim's wasted. So this whole episode when they go to Kim's house and she's already wasted, and they pick her up anyway, how to have pissed Kyle off. Like, she's mortified that, of course, you know, the cats out of the bag again, and Kim's-- I like just how Lisa Rene-- Lisa Rene just puts it all out there. She's like, I rode in that car with Kim, not so, not so. Like, complete, not so, not scone. I'm like, yes, girl. I think it's very refreshing, you know? And I feel bad even talking seriously about this shit, 'cause I know that I have so many times before, and it really still infuriates me, but it is so refreshing to see somebody on one of these shows who's just, I mean, Lisa Rene is full of shit, so I'm not gonna say she's not full of shit, but it's nice to see somebody who's not afraid of saying what it is and being worried that people are gonna get all over her 'cause it's a disease. And I love the part where she was like, you know, Harry's brothers both drop dead. Like, there was like a bit of anger, like, fuck those guys. You know, they put us through all this shit, and both of 'em drop dead because of the stupid disease, and there's no arguing with an alcoholic, and there's, you know, she didn't go into all that, but basically she was like, you know, you don't, alcoholics don't tell the truth. - Well, and it kills them. - It was also a very real moment, because the truth is, not even behind closed doors, but like, if you were in a car with someone who was wasted out of their mind, or just like, just not sober, and whatever, you would tell your friends, like, yeah, I was driving with that. That person was like, they were not, they were crazy, but you know, in public or in mixed company, you might be more diplomatic and say, well, you know, I don't know, I have concerns. They just didn't seem like they were all there, you know? But like, do you hear Lisa Rinna saying like, not so? It was like, it felt like a friend telling you, you know, and not saying that we're friends with Lisa Rinna, but it had that moment of like, real, like, let's just say what was happening. It was nuts, you know? - Yeah. - And as we called it earlier in the season, she does call Kim out for being a drunk, but she also is, she's going after somebody this season for being an alcoholic, hard. And we guessed earlier in the season that it's not Kim, it's Brandy, which is awesome, because I love that these two new women came in here ready to not take any crap from Brandy, and they've stripped her basically of all of her power. And it is hilarious to watch, because Lisa Rinna is really good at pretending she's very nice when she's obviously pretty cunning, not that she has to work that hard to beat Brandy, it's not like you're up against some mental giant. But Eileen and Lisa have just decided to take Brandy down and they're doing it so calmly and so easily. - Right, 'cause they know they can, they have so much more, they have Lexus to end on. I mean, I thought it was kind of funny how after this whole fight, when Lisa Rinna and Kyle were driving home, Lisa Kyle sitting there like in a state of shock, and she's sad and confused, and she's like a mess. And Lisa just skips sitting there, she's like, "I mean, she's a real problem." I mean, and like Kim, she was just really out of it, she was crazy, dah, dah, dah, dah. She keeps saying over and over again, and Brandy, she's a drunk. Then she's really, I mean, she's gotta drink it. You know, people like that, they're alcoholics, I've seen it, I was just sitting there. You know, Kyle's probably just like, "Please shut up." Like, this night's awful for me, please stop. And this is like, "And you know, Kim, "you know what that is? "That's not a sober person, I'll tell you that much." (laughing) And she's just going on and on and on and on. She's like, "Uh huh, uh huh." - God, Kyle's like, Kyle's like, "Can we just get the camera off my bald spot, please?" That would be great. - Kyle has had to sit through so many awkward limousine rides, home from disaster parties, like with Taylor, you know, with Taylor crying in the backseat, and Kyle has to still be like, "Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh." - Yeah. - By the way, but yeah. - Yeah, that's the thing, everybody pretends like it's not a problem, or, you know, it's not a problem until it's called out on national TV at a reunion show, and then everybody, instead of just being like, get your shit together, it's like, poor Kim, all Kim, you're not having a drink tonight. Poor you, poor Kim! - You do not treat people like that. I mean, we live in LA. We know tons of alcoholics, okay? - Yeah. - We are tons of alcoholics. We know a lot of alcoholics are people with addiction issues, and you don't walk around like, "Are you okay today, are you okay not having wine?" - No, you still invite them to your birthday party at a bar. - Yeah. - You still, you still have to go around, you know, you still have to go on with your life. - Right. - By the way-- - And on a diet, it doesn't mean we can never fucking eat again. We can never meet at a restaurant, you know? - By the way, I have to say, speaking of Eileen and Lisa taking down Brandy, I think probably my favorite moment of the entire episode was when Eileen was left with Kim and Brandy and her driveway, and you know, Eileen was like fuming, she couldn't stand this, and Brandy's like, "Oh my God, she left a mark." She's like, "This better not swap, I don't want me, "I fucking kill that bitch." Eileen just like rolls her eyes, goes, "Oh, shut up, "how about a little Nia Sporn, get a grip?" (laughing) She goes, "I'm gonna go over here, it just walks away." (laughing) - Eileen once Lisa and Kyle actually left, she's like, "Okay, bye," and Kim will both kiss us on the cheek. And I love that Kim forgets when she's sobbing and when she's not, like one minute she's like, "No, look at you size me like that." And the next minute she's playing with Brandy's hair, like, "Oh, have ya, Brandy?" (laughing) ♪ I love pizza, with my pizza ♪ - I like, by the way, when they're like, "What happened to pizza?" And they show like a close, but the pizza on the floor, like, "Don't, don't, don't." (laughing) So then, I guess, so then the other thing is that later, well, then we had like, it, then we had an interlude with like, Yolanda all of a sudden, I was like, "Guess what, I have another child named Anwa." And it's like, "Oh, here we go, time to have another, "like, storyline of Yolanda be like, "you know, they grow up so fast, you know, "they leave home and then they grow up and they go away." But like, I said, "Anwa, and he's growing up so fast, "and he'll be going to college." You know how you're like, "Ugh, oh, please." - Yolanda. - Yolanda finally has like, another child that we've never seen. - Yeah, and then the other half of her storyline was like, "How do I get this telephone to work properly? "Your sideways, okay, I toned it. "Now you're still sideways, okay, I toned it. "This is sideways again." - So I bought Bella, you know, Gigi was born with her face, it wasn't sideways, and now look at you, what your sideways face, 14, it's like a swan who is black and who cannot look up the right way. - You know, like Gigi is naturally blessed with beauty, so that way the phone is like, "Okay, we are going to present your face properly." But you know, Bella, she's not pretty, you know, so the phone puts her sideways so she looks better. You know, that's how it goes. - No, Bella, when she came out of me, she was sideways. I knew right then her life was going to be hard, and look, she's still sideways. (laughing) Poor Homely Bella. Okay, let's concentrate on this person you've never seen before. Hello, son, would you like sliced strawberry? (laughing) Somebody posted. - Yes. - Oh, go have fun at soccer. - I posted that, I'm sorry, I do not have a credit to give you. Some, oh, Madonna, Madge with the sexy Jay, posted the picture, "Yoli's son, Arman's breakfast, "when strawberry thinly sliced." And sure enough, it's one strawberry. It thinly sliced. - Yes. Oh, God. - It's in here and each of strawberry, only one slice of it, through the rest and spit it out. Well, you'll never be a model. - Yeah, poor Anwar, whenever I try to FaceTime with him, he's always upside down, I just cannot win with these children. (laughing) So now we have Anwar to look forward to. So then, anyway, so the next chunk of the episode was Lisa having her little jewelry party and Brandy shows up wearing a shirt and no pants. And she's like, "Yeah, I'm trying to look conservative "because it's like parent, teacher, conferences tonight." (laughing) He's like, "You are such a disaster." - I love that Lisa's like, "I could never show up "at my kid's school looking like that." And Brandy's like, "Yeah, but my kid's got a public school." So, I know, it's like great, great, Brandy. - That was so funny to me, like Brandy is an asshole, but she still makes me laugh sometimes. I can't laugh. - Yeah, no, she definitely has some funny lines for sure, but she's also ridiculous, 'cause then she's gonna get to the school and then they'll probably be some attitude and they'll actually get some looks and she'll be like, "These bitches are staring at me." Like, what, I just want to wear this. And I know the whole don't blame the victim, she's allowed to wear what she wants. But at the same time, it's the same thing where she does something kind of outrageous and then gets mad at people when they're like, they treat her like trash. - Yeah, but if you think about it, Brandy's entire fortune, well, you know, whatever $5 she's got left in her Wells Fargo account after blowing everything, but she's built her whole fortune on being a victim. - Yeah. - You know, she became famous because her husband left her for some country star. Then she became famous on the house wise because other girls were a mean to her on game night. Like everything about her, if she's not being a victim, then she's not popular and people don't like her. So, you know, she came out as the aggressor last year. So now she's poking people so that she can be a victim again. That's just, it's really sad. But it was interesting when Eileen was like, you know, I'm going to talk to Brandy, Brandy. You know, you come into my house, you say it looks American Gothic, which isn't even what she said. She said it was American Psycho, which is different and Bates Motel. - It's huge, so it's a lot worse. So American Gothic wouldn't actually-- - By the way, American Psycho-- - That's an actual style. - Yeah, American Gothic has a painting with a farmer and his wife. And then American Psycho is a movie based on a book with Christian Bale. And Psycho is Bates Motel is from Psycho. So American Psycho and Psycho don't really actually mesh. What Brandy meant was it looked like Bates Motel and Psycho in old fashioned, whatever, scary. But because she's-- - Or generally just that a murderer lives there. - Yeah, exactly. - With mommy issues. - Yeah. So yeah, Eileen confronted her about it. - He confronted her about it. - Yeah, Eileen confronted her about it. And then Brandy was like, oh no, that wasn't my intention at all. But you could see Brandy was like upset about it. And then she's left. And you know that now Brandy is, now Brandy's gonna start building the case against Eileen because now Eileen has basically come for her a little bit. And Brandy hates that. So now Brandy is gonna make herself something like that. She's like-- - Yeah, Brandy was actually, she seemed like genuinely hurt. She's like, I actually like you. And I am surprised. And here we go again. And Eileen's like, what do you mean? And then we turn around and see Yolanda trying to pretend she has gum on her shoe or something, like who's listening right behind them. And you know, Brandy's like, everyone's ginging up on me. Whatever, it doesn't matter. I'm just gonna go give money to cancer kids and then go to school. - Like, yeah. I'm not gonna feel bad for you, bitch. And I know that she comes for Eileen because she's already made so many comments about Eileen being a home wrecker or whatever. And then she's, Eileen was on Watch What Happens last night and she was not really holding anything back. I mean, she wasn't being, she was still being classy. But, Andy, they really were just ragging on Brandy. Whitney was, but Andy was just like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, which I love that it hurt Brandy's feeling so bad that she tweeted up to stop bullying her. - Yeah. - And Eileen, he said, well, Eileen, you finally confronted Brandy and told her what you were thinking, right? She's like, I mean, well, kind of. I didn't really. I just, you know, I talked to her, but it was just interesting because she basically called her trash in a drunk all night long. So Brandy has everybody pretty much against her. So I'm wondering how in the world she's gonna last another season if no one is speaking to her except for Kim. - Well, she'll find a way and, you know, this is the perfect opportunity for Kyle because now Kyle is like, finally, I could jump to Team Vanderpump, you know, 'cause that's what happened, that Kyle and, Kyle and Lisa went off to Villa Blanca. You know, to have some dinner, darling. We have to, just have to go to dinner. - So, it went to see what Penny's doing. - Penny's doing something wonderful at Villa Blanca. She's making a pasta salad. You have to try it. - Oh, so. - Kyle's like, I hate Brandy now. Can we go eat some free shit at your restaurant, Lisa? 'Cause I want to be your friends again. It's like, Penny's making a salad with green goddess dressing. You have to try this trend. - Of course Kyle, of course Kyle crawls back to Lisa the second it's convenient. After shit talking her all season long for three years, she's crawling back and, you know, people can say whatever they want about Lisa, but look, she's just taking her right back like nothing ever happened. And I get that, you know, enemies, if my enemies are my friend or whatever, but she keeps forgiving Kyle over and over and over. She genuinely likes Kyle and wants to be friends, but Kyle's too jealous and will never be a true friend, Lisa. So, watch your back, Lisa. - Yeah, that being said, I'm, right now, I'm like very enthused about Kyle because Kyle is like, you know, as we're seeing in the previews for next week. - Season one, Kyle's back. - Yeah, season one, nasty Kyle. 'Cause Kim, two middle fingers goes, fuck you, Kim. I'm like, yes, yes, she's back. - Kim's like, yeah, it's right. You mean to walk about in the line. Two, fuck. - You know. - What's up? - Yeah, I'm on for Kyle. If we can stop talking about her money and how much her husband is in love with her and her stupid parties. Like if she actually fights with people and is like kind of bitchy mean, Kyle, I'm in. - I'm the other crowd that we've been seeing, me no liking. - And I'm also very excited to see this game mixer where Brandi brings her plastic-faced gay to, which will be hilarious. Also, we didn't really touch- - One of my friends is there, by the way. I'm so upset. He's a friend of mine that I was in Brownlands with and he was a re-keeper for TV Guzm and he got all buffed and now he doesn't even talk to me anymore 'cause I'm fat and he's strong and he's going to housewise parties and I find about it on the previews. I find out about it on the previews instead of getting a message about it or something. I mean, what that's- - That is wrong. We should have been invited to that mixer. - Yeah, what the hell? - We need to be mixed. - We're not gays of any of the housewives. We're too mean. Well, I'm too mean. I can never go to those parties and what if someone's like, oh, this guy makes funny be on this thing and they're like, oh, someone sent me a clip and he called me a cunt and a drunk. - Whatever the things they say to each other are tendons worse than anything that we say to them. But that being said, we also forgot to mention that at one point. After all this, Kim winds up in the hospital and they're like, well, I think she has an ulcer, something with her back. - Work excuses for Kim. - And then I also have to say it was kind of funny that I was like, well, I was at the hospital for like an hour and a half. They were doing tests and tests and tests and just they just didn't know what it was. I'm like, and you left? I'm like, you left to come to the Lisa Rinna's jewelry thing? - Well, that was another thing that I liked about the episode was where Brandi's like, - I mean, I called Kyle and Kyle just ignored 'cause it's just Kim, that's what it is. And then, of course, I'm thinking, well, what do you, you can't freak out every time an alcoholic is freaking out because they're drunk. - Yeah. - Duh. And I love that Jennifer, even though, I don't know what she's doing to her poor face, God bless her. - I know with all that makeup. - I mean, what is she doing? So that's a pretty girl, stop it, stop. And your eyes were so pretty. Like, what are you doing? And why are you putting fillers in your cheek when you're a big girl? What are you doing? Okay. - So much blush. - Stop, you're a pretty girl, you're nice, and you have a job, just settle for that, okay? Just be happy with that. But anyway, this girl, I love when she told Brandi, well, you know, the family gets sick of hearing it. - Yeah. - And Brandi's like, whatever it just ignores it, but that's the truth. What would you do if you were Kyle and Kim's calling you at two in the morning, freaking out about King's Laming my llama, someone's dying of cancer, something sad, blah, blah. I'm not saying that your husband dying of cancer is easier. I'm just saying, it's always fucking something, you know, if it's something small or something huge. I wouldn't listen to her either, and Brandi's not gonna be listening to her for long either. You know that phone's gonna be turned off soon. - Yeah, exactly. So why don't we move on to Real Housewives of Atlanta? - Let's do that. - Let's do that. - Another filler face that I'm not really on board with, Cynthia, too much, too much, too soon. You're a beautiful woman, just black don't crack, okay? But it will, if you keep putting cement into it, because Sidewalk's deal. - Yeah, because they showed a few flashbacks of her from like four seasons ago, and I was like, wow, I mean, she still looks beautiful and amazing. But back then, like four seasons ago, you're like, wow, she was like a stunner, and now she's like, just like hot. (laughing) She went from being stunning to just merely hot. But you know what I'm saying? You can see it, it's like, oh, Cynthia, don't-- - Yeah, she's so pretty, but it's-- - She doesn't need to be doing that. She's trying to keep up with the Joneses, and little does she realize that all the Joneses that are around her are awful. - Yeah, she's gross. Uncle Ben opened a restaurant two cities away or something. - In Charlotte, he opened up Sports One, which has been off of a bar one, and he has Cordell Stewart as his partner, which is so shady. Like honestly, I think it's super, super shady to go into business with the ex-husband of your wife's friend. If it's the bad divorce, I don't think that's right, right? - Oh, please, Peter's gonna go wherever the money is. That's why he still-- - Exactly, exactly. - The second Cynthia like loses money or that school closes or she's not making a living, he's out of there. - Yeah, I love how so they open up this bar and so she makes a road trip out of it, but she's gonna bring Claudia and Kenya, and she wants to bring Claudia to the opening of this 'cause she wants to find Claudia some baller or some great romantic prospect. And so Cynthia goes, "Hello, it's a sports bar." Sports bar equals ballers. I'm like, "No, I think sports bars are--" - I think so. - No, it doesn't work that way. It's like the exact opposite. People who play sports on TV make money. - Yeah. - But the people who sit in sports bars and watch it generally know. - I'm like, "Should we be going to Buffalo Wild Wings "or something that I miss in them?" - Is that where you met Peter? - Is that Peter? That's probably where she met Peter. - Hey, do you like sports? This is a sports bar, babe. - Did you see the footage of the people waiting in line to get into the bar? - Oh my God. - It was like ratchet central. - Charlotte, I bought a song. - I know. - As Nani would say, those were her Twitter people. - Yeah, exactly. And I love that when Cynthia shows up at Sports 1, she's like, "Honey, you did it again." I'm like, "What?" - Honey, what you've done with the fluorescent lighting in here is amazing. I mean, people really don't understand the power of white light. - Yeah, it's like, congratulations. You made another failure. - Yeah, congratulations. You've made somewhere that looks like a cafeteria. - Yeah. - Good job. - Yeah. - But hey, the TV works. Great job, Peter. - We're gonna make it. - This place will be for the who's who of DMV workers. - Am I? (laughing) - I love that Cordell is like, "Hey girl." - Yeah. - Yeah, baby, you fine. Oh, you know, you fine, baby girl. (laughing) Girl. - I'm like, "You are the biggest fucking queen I've ever seen in my life." Please stop. No one is buying this. - I know. - You're like, "Well, if I'm gonna open up a sports bar, I might as well, you know, like, I've gotta have like, you know, someone like Cordell Stewart. I mean, he was on the Steelers for eight years. I mean, clearly I've gotta open up a sports bar. I'm like, "Do you know how many sports bars do not have professional athletes attached to them? There's no reason why you need Cordell Stewart attached." - I don't need to TV in a hot dog. Like, come on. - Yeah, exactly. - That's a beer. - Exactly. It does not take much to open. Sports bars are the most basic of bars. Very easy to open them up. Uh oh, MJ is trying to back out of the closet. - Yeah, MJ is pulling out of her kitchen. - Okay, what else happened on this? Riley is 11. - Riley is 11, why does Riley look so much older than her step sister, whatever her step sister's name? Todd's daughter looks like she's 11 years old and Riley looks like she's 19. - Yeah, Riley really does. She looks like she's very mature. So that's weird. They're trying to have a baby and other baby story on what it's gonna be, the tiniest little baby. That baby is gonna look really weird next to Riley 'cause it's gonna be like the biggest baby next to the tiniest baby. - And they saw Dr. Jackie from Marriage Medicine to help them out. And you know that baby is gonna have like the weirdest voice of all time 'cause he'll be a mixture of like, Todd's boys, Todd's, he's like this. And he'll be like, "See now, my llama. I want my rattle, see now, need to be fed." That baby's gonna be like, (screaming) - It'll just sound like an old timey radio trying to get reception. - You got the wrong one, Mabitch. - What else, not a lot happened on this? It started with Nini telling Greg some backwards-ass story of what happened. Of course, where she's the hero and doesn't understand why everybody was so mean to her. - She's great. - And Greg's just laughing, he's like, "So Nini came out, huh, baby?" - Yeah, Nini's like, "Yeah, so, you know, like all that happened was that, you know, Claudia asked for a drink and then I offered Claudia a drink and she didn't want a drink out of my drink. So I said, "Do you have a brain? That's all I said to her." - Yeah, right, Nini, come on now. - Yeah, come on now, Nini. So don't wanna waste time with her. She added nothing. - Oh, you know, there was actually a very, I thought like a poignant scene with Apollo and his kids when he was like trying to kind of like brooch the topic of the fact that he'll be going away for jail for eight years. - Oh God, he was a Apollo. - He was a Apollo. - Never home, never comes home, never spends a second with those kids unless there's cameras around. And then he suddenly shows up and talks about how sad it's gonna be not to have them and kind of squint his eyes so you'll believe him when he says that he really cares. And then when he says things like kids, what a breath of fresh air. Fucking learn English or don't talk it anymore, okay? What are you even talking about Apollo? 'Cause you're not a breath of fresh air that you're fucking kids, all right? He's infuriating. How could you even say that was poignant? He's horrible, he's a deadbeat dad. - No! - And he committed crimes and he's going to fucking jail and he never spends any damn time with his kids unless there's a camera there. I have no pity for him, get rid of him. - No, regardless of, I wasn't, I wasn't, nothing I had pity for him, but regardless of what he's done or how he's there, you saw these two kids who love their dad, they love their dad and they don't understand really what's about to happen, it's sad. I feel like it's sad. - It is sad, but they're better off. - Well, they are better off for sure. - They're better off, they're better off without his ass and they're better off now when they can still semi-recover, you know, and this shit isn't happening when they, you know, I mean, at this point, Phaedra can be like, well, kids, daddy ended up getting ice cream in the sky with Jesus and he's dead now. And they'll believe it, you know? They'll be like, oh, they'll cry for a little while. And then, you know, I don't know, maybe whatever stripper Phaedra is dating at the time, these kids can grow to love or daddy-diculous. - Yeah. - I mean, it is a sad situation, but it's infuriating to me because here he is on TV, trying to use words that he doesn't understand and saying he doesn't understand. - Yeah. - And just using this time to get a little more fame before he goes off to jail instead of like actually spending time with his children. - Right. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Gross. - I think that was pretty much it, right? I mean, I just... - Let's see, Claudia, Kenya, of Phaedra. - Yeah, I mean, I guess so. I feel bad that we didn't cover Atlanta that much this week, but not that much happened. And man, we covered Chef Penny a lot. - Yeah, Chef Penny, we got her some new business. - Yeah, Chef Penny exhausted me. - Yeah. Yeah, I think we got everything. And then there's Top Chef, someone was eliminated. - Oh, it was... Oh, the Greek guy. So that happened. - The Greek guy, who's that? - He's gonna have the slick back hair. He was like eliminated first episode, then came back midway through the season. - That's really sad because I didn't even watch Top Chef and didn't realize that I hadn't watched it. - Oh, well, yeah. - That's how shitty this season is of Top Chef. To me. - Yeah, eliminated, but tonight is like part one of the finale, so there's another last chance kitchen and he might come back. - Man, I don't care about that show anymore. It's done. - I'm gonna start watching Food Network shows again where they actually cook shit. - Yeah. - I'm not watching any of these competitions where it's about personalities that suck in the first place. I don't care. - Yeah. - I'm making a stand. - Do it. Do it. All right. - Although, a Food Network star comes back on, speaking of Chef Penny, I will be watching that. I love that show. - I love that show, even though they've kind of ruined that show too by taking out Susie Orm, Susie Fogelson and Bob Tushman and making him appear only like three times this season. I kind of like that 'cause Susie is kind of a bitch. - Yeah, that's what I love about her. - She looks like she either, if she wants to fuck them, she's nice to them. - Yeah. - And otherwise she hates it. - Well, she loves the brothers. She loves the brothers. She's always like, I really think you have a wonderful personality and I am looking forward to seeing how it expands. - In my life. - I mean, like Big Daddy's house, but I love Susie Fogelson 'cause she's sort of like cold and corporate and she has these like very passive rest of ways of saying that she hates you. She'll be like, I'm just not getting the messaging here. You know, it's just like, I'm just not feeling I'm connecting with your work right now or it's just not working for me. - Like how, like the customers or the audience at the time, whatever the challenge is, the customers will be like, oh my God, this was like tuna but the mannies was rotten and it was green and there was like bacteria in it and I feel sick and I died or whatever. And then Bob will be like, well, you know, we looked over your comment cards and people were a little bit dismayed at the temperature of the spirit of your dish. - What? - That's not what they said. They said it was crap. - Yeah. - But, you know, I mean, people who win that show are notoriously terrible. - Yeah, they are. - They are usually terrible. Like the guy, the guy who is like kind of a semi-good-looking doofy fat guy or fat-ish guy who won, who's like the sandwich king. - Yeah, oh my God, that guy is the worst. One time he made a grilled peanut butter and jelly sandwich. One time he made a jalapeno popper sandwich on his own cooking show. - Wait, who won this year? Was it Lenny, the cowboy? - That fucking cowboy with downs won. (laughs) - I liked Lenny. - He's an eyed cowboy. - He was terrible. - I liked Lenny. - Like, okay, today's a chili challenge. And he back, woo-hoo, I'm a cowboy. - Burnt the beef, burnt the beans, didn't put any chili in it. What the fuck you can't even cook. I love that show. It's like, not only about how you can cook at all, and you never see the show. - Well, the best part about the show is that, for some reason, the judges do get lashed on to these very boring, bland people. And like, remember the season was a Jamaica, or something like that, there was this like, very sweet, totally forgettable, totally uninspiring, uninteresting black lady. And she always would serve up mediocre things and every week, Susie Fogelson would be like, Jamaica, you're just like a ball of sunshine when you come on screen. And we just want to learn more about you. We want to hear more about your journey, and we're ready to go on it with you. So thanks, you're safe to speak. - You're like, what? - It was like, it was like terrible too. But there's so racist on that show that they have to like hide it. They're like, oh, we have no black people again. So, it's just so sad that that whole network is kind of a disaster, and I love every second. - You know what I love that Bob Tushman is that to me, he's like the gay, white, Kermit the Frog. Like, he looks so much like Kermit the Frog, like a little hand puppet. - He does. - And there's a cutest way, like it's a comp and Bob. If you're hearing this, it's a compliment. It's like, you want to hug him. You want to hug him. I love them both. - I love them on a hug him. - I love, honestly, I love Bob. I love Susie. I even like Alton Jada and Bobby, 'cause they have good personalities. I just don't think that Bob and Susie should be relegated to like guest appearances. They should be there all along, because they also, they do represent the network, the corporate, you know, like what they're looking for. You know what I love also? At the end of every season, when the head of Food Network, that like old, like, battle acts, whatever her name is, she's just like this like very waspy woman who, like is just-- - It's like when the guy, like the people who count the votes that the Oscars come out and give a speech. - Yeah, she always comes out. You just know that she just put down her gin and ton. I got some like, some golf course in Greenwich. She comes, she's like, "Well, I want to thank everyone "for participating this year." We always had a wonderful crop, and I'm proud to announce the seasons. She's like the big one, you know, like, I love when she comes out. - I'm here to announce the winner, the winner of the Food Network star. Congratulations, you're getting your own show at five in the morning once a month on the Food Network. - Yeah. - Lenny, and he's like, "Whoa, I'm a camera!" - And he gets down on his knees. I feel like he should get down on his knees and cry once, once an episode on his show. - Oh, beat the floor with his fist. - Yeah, take off his hat. I'm like, "I'm so thank you. "Thank you so much for watching my show." - I hate, and I hate him so much that I'm looking at his show. - But you know what, though? I will say this, remember when Jeffrey Saud was on, he came in like a second place or a third place. He lost to Melissa D. Arabian. I remember on the season that he was on, I really didn't like-- - Who, what was his name? - Jeffrey Saud, S-A-A-D. I remember I was, I didn't like his point of view as like, very like, whatever, and I thought he was fake. I actually hated him, but I went to his restaurant here in LA, and the food was delicious, and he was, he came out, he was incredibly nice, and also very charismatic, and I take back everything I ever said about you, Jeffrey Saud. - Oh yeah, I've seen this guy. I don't remember him even being from that show, but yeah, I remember him. He's been on a lot of things. - His food, honestly, is in studio city. - Do these people still have shows? Like, does Artie still have a show? - Artie party. (laughing) - It's like, today, we're gonna make Indian food, but enchilada style. - Yeah. - So we're gonna be making, we're gonna be making lentil stew, but stirring are going to be corn chips and topped with salsa, and then a bit of pizza on the side. - I know, the poor girl, she had to like, dumb down her entire perspective. She's like, we could be making tuna casserole, and we're gonna add curry powder to it. I don't think her show is on. I think Melissa de Arabian, I think she's still-- - Melissa did really well, actually. - I actually liked her. I, what I liked about her. - I liked her too, 'cause she's real. She's like, I'm a broke mom, and I have to spend $10 to cook my kids five meals a day, and I'm gonna teach you how to do it, and then she really does. She's like, here's what you can do with the potato, milk, and some salt. - Yeah, and she has like, real training too. Like, at first, I was like, ugh, it's like another one of these like, moms. They always have all these like, moms on there, and they're like, it's just like, oh, here comes some like, down-home Midwestern cooking, but she actually has like, a sophisticated palette, which I appreciate. - I learned how to make potato grittole muffins from her, and they are delicious. - Wow, I believe it. I believe it. And you know, actually, you know who I really wanted to win that season was, Debbie Lee. She was the one who wanted to do like Korean soul food, and actually, it was dumb, very dumb a food network, because the whole-- - I saw her at, I almost said Uber, but umami eating an umami, and you know how those burgers are so tiny, and she's really big, and it was really funny looking at that tiny burger in her big-- - Well, she, she, the reason why she didn't clearly didn't win was 'cause she was sort of like, she didn't have like a warm and bubbly personality, but her food always looked the best, and her food was also very cutting-edge because the whole Korean fusion thing like exploded around that time, and maybe a little bit after. And food network would have been totally on top of that, that of course, you know. - Well, I don't think your audience is necessarily, it's exploding necessarily with their audience. - Yeah, yeah, they're like, oh good, let's have another show. - They're like, hold on, why did you, if you still go on Food Network's Facebook, they're still like, how could you get rid of Paula Deen? - I mean, like how did it, since when did Zane and we're two and then, where'd it become wrong? - They're like, oh, Food Network audience, let's reel it in a little. - They're like, we need another, we need a 10th version of ribs to make on this network. I don't know, like, I don't know if it's enough just to get the rib recipes from this person, this person, this person, this person. How am I supposed to know how to make wings? The Paula Deen style, I mean, I only know 10 other ways to do it. - Yeah, it's like the same shit over and over. I know because now that I don't have, I mean, I have cable because I have to watch housewives, but I don't have a DVR, 'cause that's another $40 a month or something stupid. So now I just watch housewives, basically, and record it on my computer. So anything else, I still watch on the internet. So when I wanna watch cooking shows, I have to like, watch whatever crap Food Network is giving you on their website, and it's the same thing over and over. They're like, now here's Aina's version of a corn casserole. I mean, I generally make semi-classy things, but you know what I mean. - Yeah, I should say, as a full disclosure, as I'm saying this, I'm literally holding the back home with the Neely's cookbook in my hand, so. - But that food is good. - Yeah, I made three or four things from the Neely's, and every single one of them has been very, very good. - Right, here's what-- - Can't say the same for those other, can't say the same for Paula Deen, Ambrose, always good too. - Yeah, one of the very first things I ever cooked when I was trying to teach myself how to cook was that like some shrimp thing from Paula Deen. It was like shrimp in mayonnaise, and I didn't know. So I just made it, it was disgusting. - Yeah, Paula Deen's, my mom still will have a fit about Paula Deen, 'cause she was like, I made all that shit in the Betty Crocker cookbook when I was 10 and it came free on the back of a biscuit box. It's like, I believe it, 'cause it's like crushed up corn flakes mixed with mayonnaise, you know, put over fish, white fish. It's like a thanks, Loubies. Thanks for your contribution to Loubies, Paula Deen. - Well, I have to say this, you know, there is something to be said about those old like recipes on like the side of things, because this weekend I made a chocolate cake for my friends and I used the recipe from the Daisy Sarah Cream website. You know, it's like the old Daisy Sarah Cream chocolate cake. - Oh yeah, yeah, I still eat it. - Well, I mean-- - Like, I mean, it was absolutely delicious. In fact, if you go onto my Instagram, I'm not trying to plug my Instagram, but if you go on my Instagram, which is @bsideblog, there's a picture of it. And I kind of like, I messed up a little bit because when I took one of the cake rounds out, I wasn't supporting you properly and it's split in half. And then on top of that, I misread the directions for the frosting and I added like a little bit too much liquid. So sort of like a, like a runny frosting. So when I put the runny frosting on the unstable cake, it just sort of like made the crack bigger and it just was like a huge cake wreck. But it didn't even matter 'cause it was so, so, so good. Oh my God, people, if you ever want to make a chocolate cake, make the daisy sour cream chocolate cake. And honestly, you could just make the frosting 'cause the frosting tastes like chocolate pudding. It's just sour cream with like cocoa and vanilla extract and powdered sugar, it's so good. Don't even bother putting on the stove top. Just mix those things together, tastes exactly like chocolate pudding. It is absurd. Yum-meh. Yum-meh. Yum-meh. Oh, this has been a lot of food on our podcast today. I know, I'm actually really hungry now. Well, everyone- Which is totally different than how I usually am. See people, this is what it's all about. If we get to $1,000 per episode on Patreon, we'll have twice as much food talk. Twice as much food as it is. Oh my God. I know, maybe we'll just switch it over to the Food Network. Could you imagine I could totally do that? Yeah, I would get a DVR and I would sit down and I would watch every Food Network episode ever. Could you imagine Bravo on Tuesdays and Food Network on Thursdays? Maybe we could do like a Food Network HGTV mix because I really need somebody to talk to about the property brothers at home. I would totally do that. Seriously. Okay, so if we get up to $1,000 per episode with Watch For Crapins, we'll do, we'll still do Watch For Crapins on Wednesdays 'cause we have to cover the Tuesday episodes. And then on Fridays, we'll do HGTV and Food Network stuff. Oh my God, that would be amazing. That's my dream come true. We will be watching What Crapins on another network. Yeah. So that's it, everyone. This is our national public radio pledge period. Go pledge, go pledge a dollar. Yeah, thanks to everybody who's pledging your great. Yeah, you are. I know that it can sound very sincere because I'm really tired. This is a long podcast. I know 'cause we had our bonus episodes too. We just talked for two and a half hours. And you understand that, right? Two and a half hours, but you know what, Ronnie, I had a great time today. I mean, I always have a fun time. I did too. But like there's some, so here's the thing. This is what it is, people. When we do these podcasts, sometimes we do them and we always have fun. We always talk, but sometimes the way I feel, sometimes I'm just like not there. Like I'm just like, I'm tired. And you know, when you have to talk and talk and talk like an hour and a half, it's hard. But sometimes you're just like dialed in. And I feel like this is one of those days when I feel like we were both totally dialed in and-- That was really fun. Yeah, I didn't want to do it today, but I'm really glad we did. You know what, great time. Wait, and if we get up to $2,000 per episode, we'll have a third episode where we just, you know, Patty just on the back. We just compliment ourselves. Yeah, we'll just be nice to each other. Self-congratulatory. Oh, hey. We're in those other two episodes this week, so good. Yeah. What was your favorite part? Also, just a quickie, thank you to the people who join us on that monthly hangout thing. Those are so much freaking fun. And this week I took marijuana, candy pill things. And ended up getting so stoned. And then went to dinner with Ben after. And went to $5,000. It was such a weirdo at the hamburger place. Stoned off my butt. And I didn't mind. I didn't mind. I didn't mind. I was only sad because we couldn't find a third player to-- You're really funny, though, when I'm stoned and you're not. Really? Yeah, I was laughing at you in my head, but I didn't want to say it out loud because I didn't-- You don't feel like I was attacking you, but-- OK, we were like, hey, what do you like to cook? What do you like to cook? And I was saying, oh, I like to cook. Oh, fried rice, because it's so-- And you're like, oh, well, that's easy. I'm like, I know. And I told you how I make it. And you're like, well, this is how you make it. But you know what else you could add to fried rice? Mushrooms. Socky. Somethings. You named 100 things. And in my head, I was like, is this guy autistic? Like, you mean me? [LAUGHTER] You're just kidding yourself. But it was so funny when I was stoned because I was hearing you slowly. But it sounded like you're going so fast. I was going-- No, no, no, no, blah, blah, blah, blah, then this, then this. And I was just imagining what that bowl of fried rice would be. It's just too much shit. Fried rice is supposed to be easy, man. Ronnie, I'll make you-- next time we do one of the hangouts, I'll make you some fried rice. Then we'll see. OK. It's a deal. Yeah. OK, everyone. I have to do nothing, so that's a great deal. OK, I love you, everybody. Thanks for listening. We're saying five 20 times. All right. Bye. Bye. Some major office supply stores are closing. But the good news is that you can find low prices on supplies you need at Walmart. They have a broad assortment of office supplies, everything from copy paper to coffee. Right now, they have five packs of Georgia Pacific 20-pound 88 bright paper on rollback for just 1347. And Avery 1.5-inch heavy-duty clear cover binders for just 674. You'll find savings like that on all kinds of essential items. So stock up on the most important office supply of all. Savings, save money, live better, Walmart. If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the internet. The folks behind the sideshow network have launched a new YouTube channel called Wait for It. It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza Schleisinger, slicing, driving friends with it for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there, and I still have a hard time with the last name Liza, our very own Owen Benjamin, that's me, takes you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes and much more. You don't have to wait any longer. Just go to youtube.com/waitforaccomedy. There's no need to wait for it anymore, because it's here. And it's funny. And I love you. On Monday, Josh Leibarger made his status-- --case of the Mondays-- --falled by a frowny face. It got one like in five comments, including dislike. Well, Josh, Geico also wants to make a comment. To turn that emoji's frown upside down, in just 15 minutes, you could save hundreds of dollars on your car insurance by switching to Geico. With all that extra dough, why not give Monday a makeover? We see an office party in your future. Who's did by you? #happyface, #savings. Geico, 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance. If you like Watch what Crapin's, you can list them ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcast. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com/survey. In a quiet suburb, a community is shattered by the death of beloved wife and mother. But this tragic loss of life quickly turns into something even darker. Her husband had tried to hire a hitman on the dark web to kill her, and she wasn't the only target. Because buried in the debt to the internet is the kill list. A cache of chilling documents containing names, photos, addresses, and specific instructions for people's murders. This podcast is the true story of how it ended up in a race against time to warn those who lives were in danger. And it turns out convincing a total stranger someone wants them dead is not easy. Follow Kill List on The Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Kill List and more exhibit see true crime shows like Morebid early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. Check out Exhibit C in The Wondery app for all your true crime listening.
