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When you listen to audio content, your mind is free to paint the scenes and feel the emotions of a great story. - Audible's extensive catalog is sure to have titles that you'll enjoy, immerse yourself in captivating tales, learned from world-renowned experts, and discover new perspectives all while multitasking or relaxing. - There's more to imagine when you listen and one title that I've been listening to is my friend Neil J. Young's "Coming Out" Republican, which talks about the history of gay Republicans. It's super fascinating and super interesting. - As an Audible member, you choose one title a month to keep from their entire catalog. - New members can try Audible free for 30 days. Visit audible.com/crapins or text Crapins to 500-500. That's audible.com/crapins or text Crapins to 500-500. - So maybe you've got a great idea for a business and wanna start selling your products or services online. Maybe you're an established business owner looking for new customers, or maybe you're interested in starting a new personal website. No matter who you are, GoDaddy wants to help you succeed online. Right now, GoDaddy is offering a .com domain for just 149 people, 149, okay? Not $149, $1.49, so go to GoDaddy.com and enter promo code WWC149. That is WWC149 to get your $1.49 a.com. Some limitations apply. See website for details. Okay, thank you, bye guys. (upbeat music) ♪ Crapins, what happens with this ♪ ♪ What happens if you could ♪ ♪ Crapins, what happens with this ♪ ♪ Who cares what happens with this ♪ ♪ So much that happens ♪ - Hey everybody, welcome to Watch What Crapins, the podcast about all that crap we love to talk about on Bravo. I'm Ronnie Karen from Trash Talk TV, and as usual, I'm here with the talented, gorgeous, and large penis, Ben Mantleker. Ben, wow, thank you so much. I just knocked over my cup of coffee with my large penis, I was so excited that you mentioned that. I just moved everything off the table. - Ben, you either need a smaller penis or higher tables. - Oh, we're both, really, I mean, why not? (laughs) Safety firsts. - Yeah, you can find Ben's stuff at bsideblog.com or you can listen to his other podcast called the Banter Blender. - Yay! - That was not with me, so enjoy listening to that. - Ronnie comes on once in a while, I have to record another episode, I haven't done one in about two weeks. - Ben, don't be so lazy, Ben. - I'm such a lazy fool. - And I'm Ronnie, you can find me at Trash Talk TV, I'm writing Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recap's over there, and we're also having auditions, so if you have a real shitty attitude and like making jokes about people on TV, come over and-- - Or if you have a huge penis. - Or if you have a gigantic penis that likes to write jokes and not coffee-off tables. - Yeah, and you can hear MJ's pulling up right next door to get ready to audition. (laughing) - She's like, "I hear there's talk to croissants." "I hear there's a talk to croissants." - Come to our Facebook page, facebook.com/watchwithcrepins because that's where we talk to everybody, and everybody talks about proper shows, and we usually have live threads while the shows are going on to discuss shows together. It's a really fun community, you can post articles and read articles to other people post. It's a great place there, and we are almost at 3,000 likes, which is so exciting, we're seven away. - Seven. - Seven wonderful people away from liking us, and then we'll be that much closer to 10,000 likes. - Oh my God. - You can find all our social media links, our Twitter's, Instagram's, Facebook's, et cetera, on watchwithcrapins.com. And if you want to subscribe to this podcast and get extras like our bonus episodes weekly, our monthly ringers, or our Google Hangout with other listeners, which we do once a month, and those are like parties, basically, where we all video chat and laugh our asses off for an hour. Come to patreon.com/watchwithcrapins. That's P-A-T-R-E-O-N.com/watchwithcrapins and become a subscriber at this many different levels. And you don't have to subscribe, this will always remain free, but if you want extras, come subscribe, because it's awesome that we can actually do this in work less. - Yay. - It's true, and we actually just recorded our bonus episode and we talked about Greg Plit dying from workout, and also Yolanda Foster's Lyme disease, and we talked about cereal some more, and Stasi threatening to lead Vanderpump rules, and we really got into it, so it was fun. - It was basically an entire bonus episode of Zero Sympathy, or Empathy. - Yeah, yeah, it was an episode about the worst things in the world, as we didn't talk about AIDS, but we should have to just-- - We can get there. Listen, we're gonna be talking about Jax later, so you know what could happen. - Yeah, we're kind of there. - Yeah, I also wanna give one other little plug. Sorry, everyone, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. I wanna give a plug to Angie Thomas' podcast, 'cause Angie came on to our show last week. We had so much fun with her. Everyone seemed to love her, unsurprisingly, 'cause she's great. So if you want to check out Angie's podcast, it's on our Facebook page. I can't do the whole link, but it's called All the Way. If you'd like her, go to our Facebook page, the link is up, you may have to scroll down a little bit, you'll find it, and go listen, have fun. - Yeah, she's great. - She was so great. - We were trying to get our little Katie Kazoralon today, but she had a meeting at work, her nail salon, so whatever. - Whatever. - What else? - It's not a bit snuffling, maybe it's time. - Okay, so that's enough plugging. Let's get on to some Bravo shows. Let's start with Beverly Hills. Oh my, Ronnie, you know what? There's no better proof. We keep on saying, the past few weeks, that Beverly Hills is back in true form at the best it's been since season two, and there's no better way to show that we're back in season two form than by having Kim Richards drunk off her ass again, or actually just high off of a pill. - Yes, I have not said that it's as good as it is in season two. It's frankly-- - Well, I've been bored, but Ben has been totally into it. - Yeah, I love it. - But you know what? I mean, I wrote this on my recap, but it is really sad that Kim Richards has to be ruining her life for the show to be fun. - Yeah. - But every time this show has been really super fun, it's been because Kim is a drunk. I'm sorry, but it's busy. (laughing) It's always causing all kinds of trouble. She is hilarious when she's off the rails, and then everyone's reactions are hilarious when she's off the rails. - Oh, it's so true. - So basically it was game night, which is a bad omen on this show. - Yeah, so it's gone. So, so bad. - Yeah, it was game night, and it was at Eileen's house, so everybody had to drive a damn, I already get there, which of course, gave them all time to get shit faced in the car on the way over. Brandy was driving with Kyle, and she brought three bottles of champagne, and I think literally drank an entire one by herself on the way there. So she went from trying to be nice to Kyle, to just being shit faced and completely mocking Kyle, which was amazing to watch. Then in another car, you have Lisa Rinna stuck with Kim Twitchers. - Poor Lisa Rinna. - I mean, off the rails, shit faced. - Lisa Rinna, I am loving Lisa Rinna. She, I love how she can be so cheery, and yet totally shade other people, you know, like, and I think we've all been in that situation where you find yourself stuck in a car with someone who's like way too drunk, or way too whatever, and you realize like, wow, for the next half an hour, this is gonna be torture. I just have to like say enough things that way their mood does not get belligerent, and just like you're gonna happen. - Yeah, I don't want you to beat up. - Like, they're gonna repeat their stories three times over and over and over again. They're gonna like air all their sad things. Like, you know, 'cause it's like, I really try so hard in life, and you know, I just feel like some people don't get that. Like that's what happens, you know? - Yep. - And so I, when Lisa Rinna was there, and I could see, she was like, what am I doing with this woman? Like, what do I say? And you have to sort of like, you know, load them up with all sorts of fake praise. Like, oh no, you're a great actor. You're a great actor. - You're acting right now, Kim. You're acting right now. - Kim's like, "Yeah, I bet you're assing him. "Hey, black kid, you don't have a place to live. "Come home and live with me and play football "and become friends with my kid." Right inside! I was so good in that movie. - Lisa Rinna was like, "Yes, Kim, yes you were. "You were great at speed." (laughing) - Oh gosh, no, that was-- - Yeah, Kim gets in the car and she's like, "Hey!" And Lisa's like, "Hey, Kim, how's everything going?" And she's like, "Oh, yeah, I'm ordering." She's like, "What?" "I'm ordering." Do you know what that means? It's stupid. She's like, "Are you drunk?" (laughing) Lisa Rinna flat out, is like, "Are you drunk or high?" Kim's like, "Not today!" - That's not-- - I don't drink. - I don't drink. - I don't smoke. - I don't drink, I don't smoke out of my armpits. - I don't-- - I don't-- - You want out of my mouth? Let me finish on the-- (laughing) - Notice that she left out, I don't do pills. - Well, she did. She did, actually, it took a minute. She said, "I don't drink, I don't smoke." Got on, "Take pills." And Carl's like, "You're on something." She's like, "Oh, yeah, before you." Okay, so also just lies, lies, lie. I mean, addict lies, which we all know. - If we've been there or know someone who has. - Lie, okay? Lie after lie, which is typical, but goddamn Kim. So she's like, "No, I'm not drunk." So later in the evening, I don't want to even skip over anything that happens, but Kyle takes her. Kyle goes to the bathroom and Kim follows her in, and that's when she's like, "I'm not drinking or smoking her." Taking pills, except for that pill, I just suck. - She's like, "I had 100% in pain, "so Monty gave me a pill." I'm like, "Oh, God." - Which is such a lie, because in the limo on the way over, Lisa's like, "What's wrong with you?" And she's like, "My tea's gone." Monty's like, "I mean, I've been there "with Monty every day, and he's just got to leave me." Like, "I don't even know where he is." - And the friend is like, "Oh, well, he has cancer. "He's dying, right?" But she's so blunt, you know. It's like, "Well, he's dying of cancer, right? "Maybe he's just sad." And she's like, "Oh, yeah, well, how do you think I feel?" "I mean, I've been there, and I ain't just gonna leave me." - "I ain't gonna leave that, Monty." - And then later on in the night, she tells Kyle, "Oh, I was feeling some pain, "and some Monty gave me a pill." - Really? 'Cause Monty's not there. - So maybe Monty left, because you kept stealing his goddamn cancer pills, Kim. - Yeah, she's like, "I wasn't Monty." It was that Kingsley. Kingsley came out and gave me a pill. And I was like, "Okay, Kingsley, we can go play." - Marky Mark was in my house asking me to be in Ghostbusters, and I was like, "I don't even know how to pronounce the gourneys." So I said, "Okay, slime, or get out of my library. "I'll take this pill, and you go talk to Kim Richards." Oh, wait, that's me. - "I used to date the gargoyle from in front of the library." - I, yeah, I took the guy from the painting and Ghostbusters II, the prom. It was great, we rode horses. - Marshmallow Man gave me some title and all ping 'em, and I... - I, there was slime coming out of the bathtub, so I called up Bobby Brown. I'm like, "Stop singing that Ghostbusters song, "and give me some booze." - I love that any drug addict is Bobby's fault. - Well, did you see the Whitney Biopic? Oh, we should talk about that. - Oh my God, no, I did not see it, did you? - Oh, yes, I did. Yes, I did. - Was it good? - It was. - Well, you know, for a lifetime biopic, it was on the better end of the spectrum. I mean, if you're comparing to Liz and Dick, but it was like St. Bobby. It was like, everything, like Whitney, like Whitney was the one who made him start doing drugs, and like he gave up his-- - Oh, I'm so sure. - He was like, the whole thing was like, "Oh, Bobby, like he gave up his career "so that way he could help Whitney's career." And Bobby was like-- - Yeah, Bobby's amazing career that he had going on. - Yeah, every scene was Bobby being like, "Whitney, I just love you." Like, they even had scenes of him like cheating. He's like, "No, I just cheated 'cause I thought "you didn't want me anymore, but I love you. "I love you from the depth of my heart." It was like, "Oh, like, there's no, "nothing Bobby can't do anything wrong. "And if you did anything wrong, "that's 'cause Whitney drove him to it." And I was like, "Please." - Oh my God, that's balls. Who wrote that? What's it based on a book by Bobby? - Well, that's why I was wondering. I think that Bobby must have given them a lot of access to the estate. And then this is sort of their way of, you know, repaying him was-- - Well, I remember very saying something when she died. Because everybody was like, "Bobby's fault." And I remember him saying something like, "Oh, you know, everyone talks about her like she was a saint, "but she was no saint when I met her." And she brought a lot of that into our relationship. And I was like, "Come on." - Yeah. - She took her from Coke to whatever the fuck you were doing. Like, there's a huge jump between Coke and like, crystal meth or whatever crack or whatever the hell you two were doing, okay? - Exactly. - Yeah. - Like bringing marijuana to your house and then you injecting me with heroin and then blaming me for being the one who brought the marijuana. No, Bobby, that's not how it works. - Yeah, and the funny thing was that there was actually an interview with Bobby Brown after the movie aired. And he just was like directly contradicting things in the movie. So it was sort of funny that lifetime. It just sort of, it's like, okay, here's our version. And now here's Bobby saying his version. So obviously nothing you saw. I guess any grounding in reality. And you don't know which one is where the truth lies. And he almost, and yeah, fucking words. - He's also turned into Cedric the entertainer. He looks exactly like him. - Ew. - He got fat. - Really? Well, I guess that means he quit the crack. So that's good. - Well, it's his prerogative. Ha, ha, ha. ♪ I don't need no van ♪ ♪ It make my own decisions ♪ ♪ It's my prerogative Monte ♪ (laughing) - Kim Richard sings Bobby Brown's greatest hits. ♪ Every little step I take ♪ ♪ You will be there, Kingsley ♪ ♪ Yeah ♪ ♪ Kyle stole my hand ♪ (laughing) ♪ Now I'm all by myself ♪ ♪ Ooh ♪ - I don't know what that was. I just-- - Don't leave me out by myself. - He didn't sing that song, did he? - No, no, he had a song called Honor. Is the Ghostbusters song, you know, he sang one of the ghostbusters songs. - Do imagine if he was saying ♪ All by myself ♪ - Yeah, it was like, it was like ♪ ♪ Well, I guess we're gonna do it ♪ ♪ On our own ♪ ♪ Oh ♪ - Something like that. - On my own from Les Miserables. - No, I think the ghostbusters too, something's called Honor Own. I'm looking it up, looking it up. I mean, no one cares. - No one cares. - It's actually a really good song and I don't know where, I don't know where, what it's called. - Ghostbusters II, Bobby for now. - Listen to Kim Richards' episode was like listening to Bobby Brown lie after lie. - Yes. - But it was funny because when she got in the thing, when she got in the car and Lisa was like, are you drunk? And she was like, nah, I'm not drunk. Mommy love me. - And then she's like blaming Monty for like hurting her feelings when he's dying of cancer. And then Lisa Rin is like, oh yeah, you know, how did it get on their acting careers? I don't even know. - No, because, no, oh, well, oh. Yeah, I don't know how they got up to the acting career, but then they had this weird like, like, stare off thing where, oh, I think that Lisa was like, start saying you're acting right now or, or, or, or, oh, I think that, did Kim look at Lisa's eyes and be like, you're doing that like, excuse me, that like, sexy, vamp kind of thing, or like, come fatale. And then that's when Kim was like, I fucking hate you. I fuck fucking hate you, right? And Lisa didn't know what to do. So she's like, I fucking hate you. And then Kim was like, I fucking hate you. It's just, or something like that. - So you're acting right now, Kim. You're such a good actress. And Kim was like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. (laughs) It was such a weird moment. - By the time they show up to this party, Lisa Renna's freaked out. - Yeah. - It's like talking to Harry in the middle of the night when he just wakes up to Pete. And he's not wasted. He's just really confused. He's like, oh, where am I? (laughs) Was I in ghostbusters? And she's like, no, Harry, he weren't. So. - So look at my bush. - Look at my gigantic bush. Let's, let's braid my gigantic bush together, Harry, which we'll get to later. So Brandy is wasted by the time they show up. - Yeah. - Eileen is just nagging at her husband like usual. Well, they're getting weird. And Eileen's like, hey, I want to play poker because I'm a big gambler. And I never was a big gambler. And so my husband taught me sports betting. But you know, we'd bet a lot of money. And I was like, that's why bitch returned to days of our lives. She was not like. - There we go. - Only in the house. She would bet all of her money away. - Yeah. That's good. - You know that house is barely holding on. That's why all their furniture is like from, as people die from the cast of cocoon, they just go take all their shit and put it in their house. - American Psycho, as Brandy called it, right? - She called it Norman Bates-Seek. - Right. - Which house is kind of creepy and old lady-ish. And it has faux painted walls. - Yeah, it's all, there's a lot of like pictures up. It's like too much. - Too much. Too much faux painting, right? - Yeah. - And old lady lamps. Still love Eileen, but yeah. - Yeah, Eileen's too like wonderful to have such a tacky house. - Yeah, maybe she's doing it ironically. - No, I don't think so. - No, darn. So anyway, Brandy shows up wasted and is very rude, like making fun of the house. - Of course. - Eileen's like, "She's weird." And then just sits next to Kim and they just are shit faced together. Laughing, cursing, making fun of everybody, telling everybody to fuck off. - Well, they're telling everyone they're stupid, right? They're like, who says that they're stupid? Is it Brandy who is like- - Brandy's like, "You guys are stupid, "but they are stupid." I mean, the thing is with drunk people, there's a certain level of lies there, but there's also a certain level of honesty that you just can't get. And that's so funny, you know, because they are all acting stupid. They're like, "Well, have you played? "Have you, what's an A's? "Is a king higher than an A's?" Like, you know, these bitches know how to at least play Texas Hold 'em, come on. - Yeah, I mean, they're like 67 years old. Like they played poker at least once. - Yeah. - And it's also, even if you haven't, it's like a very easy game to learn. - Yeah. - Very easy. - They're in that. - I'm just a girl, I'm just a young, stupid girl. - Like you're an old, stupid girl. - And Kim's like, "Kai is stupid." (laughs) You kept on going, "You're stupid." - It's like, "Kai, how are you being stupid?" (laughs) - And then Kyle's like, "I'm not acting stupid." And Brandy said, "No, you're not acting stupid, "you're just stupid." - My, my, my, my. - (laughs) - Kim's right. (laughs) - And then- - Prag, go. - I'm also at least- - Yeah, that was- - I mean, to be fair, I felt for Kyle because that is a really annoying situation to be in. Like you're, it's like two things are going on. Your sister is, has fallen off the wagon. She's drunk and being super annoying. And on top of that, she's having way more fun than you are. (laughs) You know, it's like, she's like, "I'm so mad at her "and she gets to have a better time too." And she's winning. - I mean, I don't feel bad for Kyle because it's like Kyle finally has a storyline again. She gets to complain about her sister and how hard her sister's alcoholism is on her. If she really cared about Kim, she would have put her in a car and gotten her the hell out of there. But instead, she's like trying to grab Kim's arm and she's like, "Come back here and talk to me." You know, so we can get this all on camera. And Kim's like, "Yeah, screw you, Kyle. "I just scoped some nuts in a paper towel "out of the kitchen. "I don't wanna hear you. "I don't wanna brace him." And Kim got mad at her for not supporting her or something. I mean, what the hell? - Yeah, well, yeah, exactly. - Well, I think there was, I just know at one point a slice of pizza went flying in the foyer. I think Brande. - I think Kyle was trying to grab Kim and Brande was guarding Kim. Like, Brande was trying to beat her. And then Brande just pushed Kyle down the little stair. - Which, by the way, I did not appreciate because, you know, say what you will about Kyle. I feel like, you know, Kim is, you know, she's not sober. Okay, she's not sober. Kyle's her sister. It's not, I don't think it was up to Brande to like be the cock block there. That's like, I think, I mean, you can say what you want about Kyle wants a storyline. Kyle wants everything to happen on camera. Regardless of the situation, there was like something that was going down and I would have to clear and let Kyle take care of it. And I don't think it was Brande's place to shove Kyle out of the way, although it was sort of fun to watch. - It is bizarre, too, watching it be Brande who's obviously a drunk. And the whole time she's talking about, oh, you know, I think alcoholism is a disease and some people have it and some people don't. I don't think you just become an alcoholic. You're born that way. - Glug, glug, glug, glug, glug. And she's getting shit faced in the limo. - Yeah, and by the way, you can become an alcoholic. Yes, some people are born predisposed, but guess what, like all drugs, you can get addicted. So stop being stupid, Brande. Who's the stupid one now? And she doesn't even listen to herself 'cause she's like, you can't become an alcoholic. You're born that way. I mean, I didn't start drinking until after Eddie left me. Like, hello, are you listening to yourself? - You're self-medicating. - Yeah, I mean, you're pretty clearly an alcoholic at this point, huh? - Yeah. - And it comes like celebrity-prinist when she's like, hey, I have a, I'm having a panic attack in my hotel. - Really? Is that her new code for Martini? - Yeah, I can't believe I'm saying this, but I've actually been rooting for Kenya on celebrity-apprentice. I know she's not gonna make it all the way, but I've been rooting for her. - Well, we know she's not gonna make it because she's got the worst fire, like one of the worst firings of all time. And Donald Trump tells her she's the worst person he's ever met. - Yeah. - Which will be fun, but like for right now, like in the Kenya brandy war, I'm on Kenya's side. Oddly enough. - Yeah, Brande is awful. Brande is the same way she is on this show, just being awful will be awful. At least Kenya usually has to get pissed off before she's so rude. - And Kenya's actually like, she's on her best behavior. You can see, she's actually trying to be, to like make a good impression, you know? She's smiling, she's got like beauty pad in Kenya, is doing her thing. And even though she's like, you know, she has a few like very acid tongue moments, it's Brande is the one who's being into the bitch. - Yeah. - It's Brande. - Yeah. - Yeah, Brande is being the asshole. Kenya's really on her best behavior on that show and on, I mean, so far. And on Atlanta, she's not really being bad on Atlanta. - Well, you know, she doesn't have to be, you know? She's sort of, she's, I think like, Kenya is like both very dumb and very smart at the same time. And I think she sort of, she sort of sees how she needs to position herself. And she's being pretty smart about like, making sure she doesn't come off too strong, I think. For now, for now. - For now. - She can never, she's not smart enough to maintain it. You know, she always falls apart. - Yeah. Anyway, we're, we're talking about Brande being an alcoholic and then when Brande was like, I beat all the actors. Like, you guys are all actors and I beat you. I was like, shut up. You're so awful. - Yeah, she got one ham. And then she took Vince's poker award, which did look like it was paper machete. - Oh yeah. - I was like, oh, look at my, look at my reward. I bought this on the Venice boardwalk for $3. And then wasn't like Eileen, didn't she get mad? I watched this at like three in the morning. So I like, at one point, I started to do this. Didn't Eileen get like mad that she called it like a Chachiki from the Venice boardwalk? - Yes, 'cause it's so rude. - I mean, I, I mean, to be fair, it did look like a Chachiki. That's one of the guys where I think Eileen should just laugh it off. She probably like pulled it off the wall. She's like, well, I guess it's one last, one last piece of decor in this house. - So funny. Okay, so Kim's off the wagon again, but she said it was just because of one pill she didn't steal at all from a cancer patient. So congratulations, Kim. - It's the size of a baseball. - But I kind of want to fake that kind of cancer. So I'm going to look up the symptoms of that guy's cancer 'cause that pill looked amazing. - Yeah. Meanwhile, Lisa, Lisa Vanderpump really didn't do much. I mean, she, she went to Mexico and she walked around with Chiki. She was out there, there was, there actually was before all this like, overnight stuff. There was a whole thing where they went to Bakara and got spa treatments, but nothing really happened there. It was just sort of like the standard stuff. - Yeah, they had to get spa treatments and Brandi just tried to get airtime by saying cunt and, oh, damn it. I was not supposed to say that word anymore. - Wait, that'd be recorded. - Sorry everybody. I gave that word out. - You're recording. - I know, but I'm still trying to not say that. - But Brandi was talking about like the journey and how her fantasy is to walk in on her husband and make somebody else and then he can't stop until he comes. So she has to watch him and then he's like mad, but comes anyway. - That is such a weird, that truly is a very strange fantasy. Hey, I'm not going to begrudge anyone whatever sexual fantasy they have because fantasies are fantasies. But it's not a very, it's like, it's fucked up and also shows why she's so, why she can't stop talking about Eddie Cibrian, why she's so bitter because she's obviously still very much so in love with him and has sexual fantasies about him. - Yeah. - Although I guess, can't blame her, he is fine. - And then everybody talked about there. He's getting less fine and I think he's going to get fat. - Well, I think he's aging very well. I think he's aging quite nicely. - And then everybody else talked about their bush for a while and Kyle talked about how all these kids are running around getting all their hair lasered off, but they're going to be mortified once they're the giant ages and they're stuck with like looking at that thing, which just really scared me about Kyle's vagina. And then Lisa said that Harry likes an Afro bush so she's got to walk around with a big old Afro bush on. - It's like the Ellen FAO guy down there. - And then in Santa Barbara, Kyle plans a wine tasting with Kim, which is what started Kim's whole thing. - Yeah. - Because they take Kim to a fucking wine tasting and Kyle's like, oh, I didn't know it was a wine tasting. I thought it was just dinner. Kyle, you did not think that. - Well, what's called a wine tasting. - I know. And what's even worse though is that she kept on going over to Kim be like, are you okay? I just want to make sure you're okay. Then like again, are you okay? Are you okay? Like I feel like probably someone in recovery would really resent like the conflict. Like are you okay? Are you okay? Like ask once, that's fine, but don't keep coming back. - Yeah. I mean, on one hand at some point you've got to learn to be around stuff like that. On the other, don't be taking your drunk sister to a wine tasting for Christ's sake. - I mean, even once you arrive there and you realize it's a wine tasting, even if you didn't know, then say, let's go to Chili's, okay? - I know. And they gave Kim this like, the super patronizing mango juice. They're like, oh, the chef made you a mango juice. Thanks. - Oh, yeah. - She's like, I'm going to go outside and call pill guidance. - Yeah, exactly. - Yeah, that was really sad. I love that Lisa Vanderpump is just like not even caring about what a bitch she comes off like at this point. She's like, she's like, I'm a crap anymore. And she's just like, Kim, darling, do you feel all right? All right. I'm sorry that you're not calling, darling, but I'm going to get shit-faced. Oh my God, Lisa. - I love it. Lisa does not give a fuck about these events. She only cares about Eileen and Lisa at this point. She doesn't care about the others, but we'll be fun as next weekend. Looks like, you know, Post-Shove, Kyle Richards is now going to be training against Brandi again and coming back to Lisa Vanderpump, which is funny because it only took Kyle about three seasons to realize she should stop going after Lisa and join Lisa. - Yeah, but I mean, now that she's joined with Lisa, but now Lisa's going to see all the shit, Kyle's been talking about it the whole season again and not want to be friends with her again. It's like a vicious circle. - Yeah, of course. - But I love watching Lisa just, I mean, then they show her on the beach in Cancun and it's like Pandora filming her sometimes just because they didn't send a camera. - Exactly. She's like, "Mom, come walk over here." - Which is like, jiggy. - "Darling on a new beach at jiggy's naked." I mean, yeah, jiggy. Look at jiggy being naked on the neat beach, don't you? - Wow, wasted Lisa on the beach. - Yeah. - With a gigantic glass of rosé. - Love it. - Yeah. - I don't know, I know, I understand why you're bored, but I am not bored-- - I was not bored last night. - And I know, but I still love this show. The reason I've been bored with it is because I cannot watch more kids go to college. I think Yolanda is awful. I think she's an awful, I mean, everybody knows I think that. I don't think she's a good addition to the cast. She's fake. She doesn't bring any kind of drama. She brings no personality to me. She's just some gold digging hooker to me. So there's been time spent on her, don't like it. Kyle has nothing to save, Kim's not drunk, so she's just like been crying about her children. I just, that stuff I don't care about. Kim has nothing to say 'cause she's not drunk. So she's just been like showing up randomly in some weird, awkward turtleneck. - I think that what I've enjoyed about this season is that with the addition of Lee Cervina and Eileen Davidson, these are two personalities that I am really enjoying, watching, you know, and that's always the mark of good casting and a good season, is that when even when they're sort of doing mundane things, you sort of care and you're interested in what they're doing and you're entertained. And that's how I felt. So it sort of bounced out the more tired storylines of kids who went up to college, you know. - Well, they've got a pretty good base going on. You know, it's just that they're first-year housewives, so they're not comfortable enough being seawards yet, but they will be. - By the way, can we talk also about the crazy, gladiator shoes that Kyle Richards put on from her boutique and then walked out of this door with? Those were like two prisons for fat caps. - It looked like she was going off to play like Fancy Field Hockey. - Yeah, that was fat cap. - I understand the gladiator shoe, like I get it and I even like it, but those do not look right. You know what it was, it was like someone took like a filet of beef and trusted all up and she made it her legs. - Yes, it's like those containers that hold berries and then the berries start getting soggy and they start hanging out of them and they're selling them for like 25 cents at the end of the day at the farmer's market. - It's like she decided to make socks from lacrosse sticks. - Yeah, that was not a cute look, poor Kyle. - Yeah, it didn't, it made her look very stumpy. It was just, she just does, I'm sorry. I think Kyle is actually very pretty and but she just does not have-- - Oh yeah, he's very pretty. - She does not have the body for those crazy, crazy hype, especially with that outfit, it just didn't work, the gladiator-- - Yeah, she moved a better strap. - No offense, her gay scene was very nice and Lord knows he can get free shit. - Yeah. - God, that guy knows how to get some sponsorships going, that's for sure. - Do you know, believe it or not, I was actually like, I think two years ago, I think that was actually supposed to go on a date with that guy and we like, I think we met on like Scruff or something like that and we had texted back and forth and it just got to be, it's one of those things where it's like, this is getting to be like a pain in the ass trying to organize this, kept getting put off and it just never happened. - Oh, I'm not busy at that time. Are you free this time? No, I'm busy. - Are you free this time? - Yeah, you're just like, I'm busy. - Please, you're a fucking personal assistant. You're not that busy, give it to yourself. - He seemed very, honestly, he seemed very, very nice. He seemed very, very nice over text. - He seemed very nice on the show too, actually. I'm just saying get a better gay because she needs somebody to tell her, you know, no, on boots. - Well, she needs better, yeah. She, remember, they didn't, remember last season, was it last season when she opened up that boutique? Yes, because she was joining the Chamber of Commerce. - Kylie, I mean, too. - Yeah, so she, she, I remember they showed her gay days in the boutique last year and they were like, just fawning all over her. Like, oh my God, Kylie, you look great. You look so wonderful, but she does not need those gays. She needs, she needs a good gay who can give her some tough love, some tough fashion love. - I'm looking up to see if Kylie's store is still open. Is it? - I don't know. - Oh, I guess it is, yeah. Oh, it's got three and a half stars. That's not so bad, but there's only 25 reviews. And there's probably still open. How are there only 25 reviews on this one? - People don't really, people don't really rate stores as much as restaurants. And then you know that there's probably like a one-star review from Carlton in there. She's like, she killed a wasp in the corner. I saw it all, never come back here. - Stupid Carlton, Chamber of Commerce, Anti-Semite. - I'm sorry for coughing. - No, please. - I know it's so annoying, someone last dude was like, "Please, stop coughing on the podcast." Like, I came on the podcast thinking, "Oh, I'm gonna cough a lot today." - Fuckers. - People. - It's like making fun of people with cancer. - This isn't radio, okay, we don't have, we don't have a cough button that they do on radio. - Yeah. - Do they have those? I want one of those. - Yeah, like so if you have to cough, you press the button and your microphone shuts off while you cough and then you undo it. - Yeah. - I walked out of the store thinking it was an age-appropriate women's apparel store for ages 50 to 60. But seeing how these sales associates acted towards me, it felt more like an upscale wet-seal store. I saw a cut copy style of Rebecca Minkoff's Becky Blazer with a different brand name on it at Kyle's, and it was $600 more. The quality is not that tailored. You could purchase a few scripts that you could easily find at BB, which racked up my purchases to about $1,700. That's pretty insane for how little I got. Bitch, if you were stupid enough to pay $1,700 at a store owned by Kyle Richards, I'm going to yell out how stupid your ass is. Marina B from Roseville, California. - Yeah, it's called Go to the Beverly Center. Get in your car, drive two miles, go to the Beverly Center and get a cheaper. I am like the cheapest person I know. If I see something as like $2 more at Ralph's, I'm going to go to fresh and easy to save that $2. - Fresh and easy. - Fresh and easy is wonderful, by the way, and if people don't support it and it closes down, it's hour lost. - I mean, weren't they supposed to close like two years ago? What the hell, why is it still open? - I don't know, but I'm so glad they are, because they are the best. They are generally cheaper than everyone else. They're good quality. They don't have all that annoying kitsch from like Trader Joe's. And they're so much cheaper than Ralph's. It drives me nuts. - Yeah, Ralph's is the worst and they're very expensive. Their produce is out of control. - Yeah, they, Ralph's just like changed. The one next to me just changed their floors. So now they've got brown floors and they're like, "Okay, well, time to raise the prices, because we look fancier." I'm like, "No, you're in a neighborhood supermarket. You're not pavilions. You're a neighbor." - Also, the one by you is really gross. That's the disco Ralph's, right? - Yeah, rock and roll Ralph's. Tell me about it. - Yeah, this is so gross there. That's the one that we talk about that's like the walking dead set outside where all the homeless people are like, coming at you, looking completely out of it. Like they're going to get your head off. - I had some crazy tranny behind me in line for the in Ralph Starbucks today. And it was like, it was like I could not get my, I could not get my ice coffee fast enough. - Let's see, where were we being? - All right, typically heels. - Mommy's done with that. - I have to say for Beverly Hills, I have not seen evidence of Eileen going crazy this season, but Lisa Renna is about to turn some shit around on an alcoholic. - Yeah. - It looks like it might be Kim, but I have a feeling it's going to be Brandy. - Yeah, I think so. I say, why don't we hop in our car, drive up Santa Monica Boulevard out of Beverly Hills and into West Hollywood for Vanderpump Rules. - Seriously? - Seriously? - This show, amazing. And it's also hard to not start at the end. So let's start at the beginning. Did you take any next, Bean? - I did take some notes. Let me look. I didn't take as many as I have in the previous weeks, but let's see. So one thing that happened is that Peter, the manager, was flirting a lot with Vail, and he even took her out to coffee and then flipped the script and made it a full-on date in order of some wine. And Vail was like, I didn't realize. She's like, I didn't realize it was like a date date. Like, I just liked to flirt. I didn't know. I was like, ah, you know, she's sort of being like, you know, and like, I like Vail and I think she's smart, but this whole like, you know, I'm just like, I like to flirt. It's sort of, I don't love that. That's sort of, I don't like when people are like that. 'Cause I don't think it's a great quality to be a flirt, right? I think it's actually not great. And at one point-- Well, she's also just not, she doesn't have like an age-appropriate personality. She's at that age in LA where it's time to become a woman already, you know, or a man, frankly. LA is like Peter, you know, it's Neverland. And no one ever grows up here. But I get that. But she's trying a little too hard to be one of the 20-year-olds and she's just not, you know, it's like watching Jessica Tandy try and say like, hi. [LAUGHTER] The ghost of Jessica Tandy, she can come back with Greg Plitt and then they can have like a special romantic comedy. On the train. [LAUGHTER] It'll be like that scene in Ghost Dad. Where Bird Ghost Bill Cosby, like, has a train go through him. Um, it'll be like Ghost, Ghost, Greg Platt. [LAUGHTER] That's so stupid. [LAUGHTER] With Ghost Jessica Tandy. [LAUGHTER] Fuck. [LAUGHTER] It's like finally I can finish my commercial. [LAUGHTER] It's like a little protein shake in there. Um, so the thing with Belle is that she was also like, she's like, you know, I'm one of those girls. He just likes to flirt a lot, but I don't like to have sex. And then she says about like her and Jacks. She's like, I mean, I don't think anything happened between me and Jacks, but like, I don't really remember. So I don't know. And then she's like, you know, blackouts are God's way of saying, don't worry about it. [LAUGHTER] I'm like, that is not a very smart way to live your life. No. Like when it's almost 20, that's kind of cute. You're like, oh, they're going to learn one day. Yeah. But when you're 40 or whatever, that's not cute anymore. Blacking out, not good. Yeah. And I think that like when you get a rash, it's sort of God's way of saying, like, maybe you should think twice about those blackouts. Yeah. [LAUGHTER] I think maybe you should worry about it. I believe that God sees everything through our eyes. And when you black out, God is sick of looking at what you're making him look at. Yeah. That was deep, you guys. Yeah, it was deep, deep. So they all went on to do with Peter and Peter has no game. So we wonder a lot on this show. Why doesn't Peter ever get screen time? Is it his age? Is it what is it? He's cute. He seems nice. He's a part of the group. And this week we realized why, because he's really boring and borderline disgusto. Yeah. And also, I'm not totally certain about this. But I'm fairly sure that what he did constitutes sexual harassment, right? Like a man. That's your boss. Your boss taking you out on like, aftermath to coffee. And then you get wine instead and try to like be romantic. I think that's like straight up sexual harassment. Yeah. Well, I think harassment is when you're like, "You better come out with me or I'm gonna fire you." Or if you're like, "Hey tits." I guess even flirting at work can be sexual harassment, right? Well, the thing is with sexual harassment, he doesn't even have to make that threat because if the woman feels like if she doesn't go on the date that her job may be in peril, then it's sexual harassment. Oh, please. I don't even have to wipe spots off glasses if that restaurant must be there. No, I know. I know. I know. I'm just saying. You said it at that restaurant. They've really been show up. So yeah, so that didn't go well. But let's see. The other thing was that Jax decided that he wanted to get back with Carmen. So he invited. Oh, Jax and his questioning himself. Okay. I get that they make you answer in a complete sentence. And that's how they make the testimonials, right? So if they say, "Jax, how did you feel about Carmen?" And he says, "How do I feel about Carmen?" "I feel this way." But every time he says anything, he's asking himself a question and it makes me crazy. Do I, am I mad that I lost Carmen? Yes. I love her. You do not know what love is. I love her. Shut up, Jax. Do I love her? I do. Yeah. I think every time he gets an itching sensation, he's like, "Oh, that must be what love feels like. I guess I'm in love." It's like, I hear that like love, like when you're in love, you feel like a burning desire and I do feel some itching and burning, so I think I'm pretty strong in love. He's like, "My penis leaks whenever I'm around her, so it must be love." Yeah. My pee is thick and green, so I think that's like love, right? I pissed out blood, which is the color of love. Yeah. I grew some love bumps on my penis and I think they're full of love, so I'm in love, right? Oh, Jax, Melanie, baloney. Yeah. So he calls Carmen. Why? I don't know. There's no, there's no explanation. Yeah. Why does he call Carmen? I don't know. Well, because the producers probably told him to, and also he at this point he slept with every single woman in LA, so there's no one left but Carmen. So they're all who paid for his Vegas trip is gone now, right? I think so. So he takes her to the Sunset Grill, which is this like random little restaurant on Sunset Boulevard, like three blocks from here that like I've never seen a single person go to. I don't even know how it's going to go. I'm always wondering how that place stays open. Yeah, because it's like you order downstairs and you have to go up to this like little terrace up top and I'm like, whoever goes there and it's like, "Oh, well, it's Jax." And I love to also, um, he was like, "Well," he's like, "Because he's still, even though he got his surgery, he's still like, "He's like, "He's like, he's like, "Well, I really wanted to take Carmen there because, you know, things just ended so badly last time." So, you know, there was like, it got heated and we were at like a pizza place. It ended over pizza. I'm like, "Yeah, you idiot. You're the one who took her there. You're the one who said this whole thing. You're going to take her to a pizza place because it's more casual and you didn't want to spend money on breaking up with her." Yeah, poor Jax, not poor Carmen, but, oh, Carmen, because, you know, you see in her face that she's totally going back with him whenever he wants. Yeah, cute little penguin face. Yeah, she's like those penguins in, what was that movie? Was it like, there's so many penguins in movies now. Was it Madagascar or something like that? These kids and their penguins. Yeah, these kids are back with that. I think it's lazy animators because you don't have to do that much. You just have to make them go back and forth. You don't have to like actually do a walk cycle. Okay, which I'm totally learning right now. What was it? Was it a little, I mean, Finding Nemo where, was it seagulls or penguin? Is that one where, I think you're talking about the one where it's about global warming at the end? Like, they all have to escape because the icebergs are melting or some shit. Happy feet? Yes, happy feet. Oh, my God, I saw that in Texas and nobody there believes in global warming and people were pissed at the end of that movie. I brought my kid to this, this trap. I think that she's more like the seagulls in Finding Nemo that go me, me, me, right? It's not what the seagulls say. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, oh, hey. That's what I feel like she's like, say hey. I think so. Mine, no, they say mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine. That's what I feel like she's, because that's sort of what I feel like Carmen's like, she sort of has that like the bop-y seagull thing when she goes back and forth and then like, she sort of has like a cute seagull face and then I kind of feel like everything she says is mine, Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, like, is Jack's mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, I mean, this guy is saying goodbye to his modeling career. - But it's not fat, 'cause it's on his face. Like, if it was on his neck, okay. - But his neck's getting big too. Everything's getting big. Like, he's still like, you know, buff and decently attractive, but like, he is no longer toned, really. He's really, he's gotten deep. When they show those flashbacks to season one, you see he's really lost like a lot of those looks and gained a lot of weight. - Well, I'm going to where every person who cares about real facts goes to, to see who's getting fat. And that is the Instagram. - Where's it at? Oh. - I'm going to Jackson's Scram. Okay, the first picture on here is a picture of a toilet with a light on it. - Yeah. - Oh my God. - Yeah, someone tweeted that at us and was like, he's not getting bad at telling you. Well. - And the quote is, how cool is this new glow in the dark toilet locator strip? Thank you so much, I love it. You know what's another great way to locate your toilet? Turn on the lights. - Yeah, or like aim your penis at something, other than just like, nothing. Letting your penis flow all over. - Yeah. - You know whose boyfriend is really cute? Horseface number two. Like he is adorable. I get that he has panic attacks at work and that he's a commitment phobe and that he tries to make up with people by throwing water in their face at parties. But he's really cute. He's cute, but he doesn't really do much for me. - Um, I like him. I like a good bottom. Oh, this toilet, how cool is it? The new glow in the dark toilet locator. Ugh, he's the worst. He doesn't look like he's getting fat, but he is using a picture from when he was 20 years old as his main profile picture. He has 203,000 followers. Holy magoli mother of macaroni and cheese, yo. - I'm gonna go on to, I'm going on to Instagram now also 'cause they're really, you know. - I will say that two days ago he was wearing the same shirt as he was 14 hours ago, which doesn't surprise me. And it looks like he has the same, the same pomade in his hair. - I mean, the thing with Jax is he knows how to get a good angle on himself when he takes a picture. So that's why he, that's why he tends to listen to him. - Chin down, darling, chin down. - Chin down. - So it looks like the only one he's really hanging out with now is horse face number two's boyfriend. - Oh man, the change over from summer to fall has been so lovely. I love fall clothes and it's so nice getting an upgrade from my regular old Dusty hoodie to something brand new and stylish from Quince. - I know, this is like layering season and I am ready for a beautiful, beautiful sweater. Quince offers affordable high quality essentials for any wardrobe. - I just got the most adorable casual jacket which I'm gonna use more than anything else in my wardrobe from Quince. I mean, I look adorable and (laughs) you look adorable. - I can't even oversell this. I look adorable in this thing. You do. 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And I just love that Mint Mobile is straight up. - All plans come with high speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. - Use your own phone with any Mint Mobile plan and bring your phone number along with all your existing contacts. To get this new customer offer and your new three month premium wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to mintmobile.com/crapins. - Cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com/crapins. - $45 upfront payment required equivalent to $15 a month. New customers on first three month plan only, speed slower above 40 gigabytes on unlimited plan. Additional taxes, fees and restrictions apply, see Mint Mobile for details. - Yeah, well, there was a picture with Tom, right? Let's see, Owen, Jan, humor. Let's see, here's a big group photo. - Oh, yeah, the cast. - He is, when you say what's happening to him, he's just gaining weight. I'm looking at the one from five days ago when he was with, like-- - Happy birthday. - Yeah, half the crew is at the table. We are missing a few, but hey, happy birthday. - Happy birthday at music kills Kate. Wow, she must have listened to a Sheena album. - Now, I will say in this picture, actually, Katie looks very good. Jack's definitely is fat. Sheena, sheena. Oh, I like this one. Anyone, anybody have plans to stare at their phone somewhere exciting this weekend? That's funny. - Oh, here's one from him at a gifting suite for the Golden Globes, which is hilarious that he's even associated with the Golden Globes. And he says, @pilotpenusa, #GoldenGlobes. Thank you guys for my amazing pen set. I just imagine, I imagine like Jack's like writing letters like at his desk, you know, like, dear sons, dear Abigail. Life in Los Angeles has been difficult, but I will send you, send you rations for the children back at home. I don't know why I made him like from the Revolutionary War. (laughs) - 'Cause that's when people used pins last. - Yeah. - Unless they're-- - There's one to pay the rent. - Here's one of them getting his. Oh, shit, he's getting his haircut. He gets his haircut at shorties. That's just down the street from you. - I used to get my haircut there, but they started charging way too much for-- - I was in full place because I love that the old barbershop has come back where people are like, yeah, man, it's a barbershop. Like you come in and then you get your haircut. - Yeah, we know, okay, we know. And Supercuts does it for $10. - Yeah. - So I go to Legends on Fairfax now. - Legends. - I'm the only white guy in there. - That's a pretty cute place. Get a good fade. I like those guys. You mean on Lower Fairfax by Cancer? - Cancer's, yeah. - Oh, those guys are so nice. I know all the guys who work there. They're really nice. They're all good tippers too. - Yeah, everyone, oh yeah, that's right. 'Cause he used to work down there. Birdo is the guy. If anyone goes to Legends, see Birdo, he's great. - Yeah, those guys are really nice. Okay, we're getting sidetracked. Vanderpump drools. - Okay, so the other thing is, 'cause the reason why Jax was speaking to Carmen was because they're both gonna be seeding next to each other for Shino's wedding. And so Jax was like, let's go to date. And then Carmen was like, no, I don't think so. And secretly inside, she was like, yay, mine. - She says with like a little sly smile. She's like, we're not going together, but we're sitting next to each other. So I guess I'll see you there. - Yeah. - And he's like, we're on a cabin. And she's like. (laughing) - So a big thing for this episode was the fight between Katie and Stasi. Because Stasi is mad that Katie went to Shino's Bachelorette party and that Stasi had to find out through Shino of all people. You know, like just like the biggest offense in the world. So the best part is-- - Okay, first of all, that stupid Christina girl. - I was about to say, Christina's running interference, which I think is so annoying. - Well, what I love is that like Christina, 'cause at one point Katie asks Christina like, how's Stasi? And Christina's like, she's pretty upset. As of right now, obviously your friendship is over. (laughing) Like obviously, I mean, you know, like, clearly this is the death knell of a friendship because she went to, went to Miami. I just love that Christina delighted so much in saying that obviously it was over. - Yeah, her spokesperson, Christina, the worst. - Yeah. (laughing) - So Stasi, the best thing about this, let's just get to it, is that Katie confronts Stasi and basically tells her to fuck off and she doesn't have to kiss her ass or she wants to go out of town, she can. And Stasi did not even know how to react. That's the typical punching the bully back and then watching him start sobbing. - Yeah, Katie, Katie did a good job. Katie has had three years of like, crumbling under Stasi's rule. And this time Katie was like, fuck you. This isn't all about you Stasi and Stasi starts to cry. - Yeah, and then Stasi had nothing to say after that. Because really her, I think she just saw her career die because if she has no control over anybody but Christina, Christina's not even a cast member barely, you know? - Yeah, exactly. - You're never gonna be a cast member, she's so sad. - If the most exciting thing that happens in your storyline is that you drop Christina off a block away from Sir, then you're on your way out, Stasi. - And steal to go food? - Yeah. - Actually, one thing I loved was that Stasi at one point I was talking about how like, her new thing is that she is like a jewelry designer and she starts talking about how she loves designing statement necklaces and that they're her favorite and that they are so great. And that like, when you wear them, people are staring at that instead of your boobs. Meanwhile, she says this entire thing without wearing one of her statement necklaces. Her neck was completely bare. I was like, that's good branding right there, Stasi. You have a great career. - Those statement necklaces look like when you go to Michaels and buy those big foam balls and spray paint them and like, paste them together to make things. - It looks like you should do with a child, right? - I was very artistic. Her statement necklace looks like a garnish that like fell off of some strange drag queen in Rio as she picked up off the sidewalk and strapped around her neck. - Yeah. - She, I also loved how she was like, you know, everyone thinks that I just went to New York to follow my boyfriend and I'm just like, living off my parents, but like, no, I'm like making jewelry. And by the way, no offense to the jewelry makers out there, but here in LA, there are so many girls who have nothing going on in their lives so they say that they're making jewelry, you know? - And they do, like get a pair of wire cutters and some stupid fucking rose quartz from a farmer's market and you're in. - Yeah. (laughs) It's so ridiculous. But no, Stasi is-- - She's done. - She's done. - She's done. - She's Stasi's goose is cooked, that's unfair. - Yeah, and you know, and this is by the way, this is a pattern of every season. At one point every season, Stasi pisses off everyone and then she starts hanging out with the people who are like not the cast members and then she's like, I just like hanging out with these people. It's just like such a breath of fresh air. They're just like cool, they just like get me. And then like three quarters away into the season and like all her friends like apologize and then she drops all the people who aren't real cast members. - Yeah, the best boy parole, what am I saying, Matt? - The best boy with the baby? - Yeah, yeah, remember season one, she went skinny dipping with him. She's like, these are my real friends. These are the ones I'm glad to be here. - She's like, you know what? The why be friends with bitches when I can be friends with people who bring you water? - It's really important in a friendship. - Who does that? - Who does that? - Yes, Katie was like, fuck you. I'm not taking your shit anymore. And then left her there, presumably to pay the bill, which was even better. - Yeah, exactly. - So I'm still no fan of Horace Face Katie. I think she's an a-hole, but that was really fun to watch and good for her. - It was. - And I hope I can stop watching fucking Stacey now. She's the worst. - Yeah, she's doing, I mean, she has no story. She does nothing and she just hides behind this thing of like, I'm so over it. Like I hate every single person in Sir. Anyway, let me drop you off at Sir and can you get me up to go box thanks? - Sit out here with the camera crew. - Yeah. - Thanks. Thanks so much. - I know the thing that I'm loving about Vanderpoop drools is that Lisa is obviously poking at Brandy at this point. - Yeah, from her different show, where she's like, I'm not best friend, she's not darling. She's my employee. And then it's like, oh, Lisa just upgraded us to the presidential suite. And then she comes back and thanks Lisa. And Lisa's like, of course, darling, your wedding is so important to me. I'm so glad that Katie went. I told her it's extremely important to me. She's like, yeah, love it. - She's like, 'cause after all, we are such dear friends. (laughing) - As one of my best friends, darling, I did this for you. - Yes. - One of my best friends more so than anyone else, I may have, may be have friendships with another TV shows, et cetera. - Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Okay, let's move on to Atlanta, shall we? - Yeah, let's do Atlanta. - Atlanta beings, what do you have? Okay, my first thought was, and I've said this, I said this every week now, basically, about Atlanta. But the editors on this show are so funny. Basically, it's like, why be so nasty and rude when I can, no, it's like, last week on Real Housewives of Atlanta, y'all clit has let them build it, or, why be so nasty and so mean? (laughing) - Yeah, yeah. - They cut it together of me and me being a total asshole, and then right into, why be so nasty and so mean? And every week I laugh, like it's the first time they've done it. - Yeah, this season is really hilarious, and I love that we got another five extra minutes of Claudia totally-- - Readingly-- - Annihilating Neenie. - Destroyinger. - Oh, so good. And Neenie had nothing, she had no comebacks at all, except horrible, horrible thing. Like, just things that didn't even make sense. Like, she's like, okay, Bob. She's like, what's wrong with a Bob? - Yeah, she's like-- - And then she eats a bite of food. - And then, I think Claudia's like, well at least I don't have a hair hat, and I like lost it. (laughing) I was like, I mean, I like, this is a spit take for me. Hair hat. - I also love on this show how nobody will let anything affect their food. Like, on Beverly Hills, you never see them actually eat. They go to dinner all the time, but no one eats anything. But on this show, these girls are fighting and candy sitting there with macaroni salad chewing and laughing, watching. (laughing) - Candy's got the right idea. I can go with some macaroni salad right now. - Candy and Porsche just keep eating while they watch. So fucking funny. - I was going to re-watch that fight at the beginning of the episode. Again, like I watched the other one like twice last week, but I just ran out of time and I'm so mad 'cause I was gonna watch it again and write down my favorite lines from it. All I could remember was Claudia calling me like, "Hair hat." (laughing) - Well, the other one was something like Neenie saying, "Oh, spaghetti strap whore or something about her dress." - Oh, yeah. - And then Claudia's like, "You need to stay away "from spaghetti altogether." - Yes, yeah, that was great. You just stay away from spaghetti. You need to keep spaghetti out of your diet. Oh my God. And then Neenie was like talking about like, she's talking about like what like the things that she was wearing, right? She's like, "This is designer or whatever." And Claudia was like, "I don't remember clothes." She sounds something like, you know, you're doing the designer's wrong or something like that. You got to stay out of this clothes or like-- - Oh, she said something like, "Oh, I've seen that at Ross. "I think she's seen that at Ross." (laughing) It was, and then she said like three or four other things 'cause at one point, Candy said, "She's like, "See, nah, Claudia's saying everything "that we've wanted to say to Neenie for like years. "See, Riley." - Yeah, seeing someone just tell Neenie off like that, I mean, the last person I've ever seen, I mean, besides people who were obviously like Marlow or people who were just trying to get attention, was Shirei. Now, Shirei was still the best when she followed Neenie out of that restaurant screaming about her fake teeth and her repossessed car. That was still the best ever. But this is definitely right up there and this was amazing. And to see someone so much younger who doesn't even give a crap makes it kind of better, I think you're right. Because normally people are like, "Oh my God, you have to kiss Neenie's ass "or you're off the show." - Yeah. - And this girl's like, "Nope." - Yeah, I mean, Neenie had nothing. I mean, she couldn't do any, she had no comebacks. Again, it was the spaghetti straps and the bob. And, you know, then she was just like putting on that therapist face of hers. - And that your clit has left a building thing, which makes no sense. - Yeah. And like, also very tasty. - You overuse a clit? I guess I don't really understand what a clit does. - It's like, it's not like Mr. Potato Head where you can just attach it on with a peg, you know? - I just keep thinking of clit. So every time she says clit, I think of a chip clit. And I wonder how that works. - I don't know. I think Neenie is done. And then, you know, then on top of that, Neenie has the nerve the next day to be like laughing all up about it. And then she turns to Phaedra, she's like, "But, you know, you were pretty shady after all." I'm like, "Well, Neenie, where was that last night?" Like, "Why didn't you say that last night?" "I didn't avoid this entire conflict." And I know I know it, then we wouldn't have a show. But still, it's like, you're so ridiculous, Neenie. - She did it because she lost. So she woke up the next day and knew she lost. And was like, you know, I never wanna hurt anybody's feelings. I mean, I didn't wanna have any kind of fight. - Yeah. - Like these stupid hoes. And the other one who lost was Shady Fady. - Yeah. - 'Cause she too was like, "I don't wanna have any conflict with people." I mean, those bitches woke up like, "Uh-oh." - Yeah. - We lost. Yeah, it's over. - And I mean, our click is like they looked around and realized that their click was a whore, Portia. - Yeah. - Who was probably gonna get fired in about five minutes. And Candy, who's on her cell phone the whole time, trying to rewrite her show about her mother. - Yeah. And Candy is neutral anyway. And they all acknowledge that. You know, it's like, you know, Candy just enjoys it all. Whoever, whatever group she's sitting with, she's just gonna sit there and chuckle. - Yeah. - So it's basically Phaedra and Neenie against the world. And then the world is for really good looking younger women. - Yeah. Exactly. - You know, who are obviously taking over the show. So I think they were like, "Yeah, I think it's time to apologize." So then they get in this big van and Neenie does somewhat apologize. - Oh, no, she doesn't apologize. - No, she doesn't apologize. - Yeah. - I mean, for me. - No, it wasn't like a real apology, because it was like one of those things where it was an apology and name only. So she was like, she's like, "I do regret some of the things I said." And since there was some question about like, you know, what are they kept on saying and take away my accolades or take away my accomplishments or something like that? She's like, to show you like-- - It was something like accolades. - She was like-- - It was some terrible, I mean, the English on last night's show, or this week's show was, I think she was, no. - It was accomplished. - A cumulonplishments or something? - I mean, it was like some word, some bad words. - But she was like, she was like, she's like, "Yes, my show did get canceled." But I am now gonna be my accolades, my accolades, and she's like, "But I will be in Cinderella, and I'm gonna give each one of you a ticket to see me." And I was like, "Oh, I'm so passive aggressive." It was like she started snapping. And she's hiding under the guise of like, you know, because the sister's doing her work, you know, like a sister's getting out there, earning her money, like, "No, this is just your way of bragging, you know." But I wouldn't take away your accolades, just like none of you would take away the fact that I'm gonna be on Broadway, it's like, shut up. And then Claudia's like, "But you did take them away, and you did make fun of me, and the rest of you too, and I wanna appreciate the way that blah, blah, blah." She starts coming up. - Claudia just says, she's like, "I don't appreciate being called a whore. When Porsche, we all know that the man you're sleeping with is the one who bought you all." So I'm married African. And what's his ass-- - You don't know nothing. - I got a hair company. - Yeah, I got an online company on the internet called www.porschehair.com. Okay. And you don't know where my money comes from. - What did she say to her? What was her word? She said-- - Her being very contradictory. - Yeah, no, no, she was just-- - You're a contradictory. You're a contradictory. - You're a contradictory. And Claudia's just like, "You're trying to use words that are too big for you." She's like, "But you just said don't take away accolades. You just said that." - Acculades. - Acculades. - Oh my God. It's like accolades that you accumulate. Acculades. - Claudia just totally-- - Well, driving in your Accura. - Claudia just destroyed everyone. Like she just won. She just won hands down. And you can see because you look on social media and quote unquote, "Black Twitter," as they say. If you look, all these memes are out there right now. - Oh my God, what is Black Twitter? I want that. Is that the real thing? - No, Black Twitter is just like the-- It's just Twitter, but it's like when people say if you look on Black Twitter, it's like, basically like what the Black people are saying. I think, I mean, I hope I don't get that wrong. But it's basically, it's sort of kind of as what I take it to be as an umbrella term for also Instagram and things like that. And so when you see a lot of memes, the Kermit, the Frog meme, but that's just me or whatever, that comes sort of like from the world of Black Twitter. So there's a lot of these memes going around of like Nini with ramen on her head and all these-- - Oh my God, those are so funny. There's so many on our Facebook page. - Yeah. - Who posted this today? Paula Jones, I think, posted one saying, Nini's wig truck crashed today, and a ramen truck crashed. (laughing) So I drew like a ramen all over the street. That's just hilarious. - Yeah, by the way, from Wikipedia, Black Twitter is a cultural identity on the Twitter social network focused on issues of interest to the Black community, particularly in the United States. So there. But yeah, someone posted one of like ramen over Nini's head, and like the letters, the words were basically like, and so we all, whatever, I'm messing it up. Nevermind, it's not gonna be funny. It just sounds so stupid, so. - Well, I'm checking in on our Facebook 'cause I mentioned it, and there's someone hot Ben, hot Black man alert for Ben named Ryan Hyams. - That's, you met Ryan, you know Ryan. - I do? - He's hot, I would have remembered him. - Remember Ryan, the tall, muscly guy. - Oh yeah, oh yeah, that's from the Abbey. - Oh my God, that guy is hot. He looks shorter on Facebook. - He's a lovely gentleman, and Ryan, if you're listening, hello. - Hi, you're hot. He wrote, "Nini, I can glue my hair to my forehead. Girl, I got all kinds of cars right now. I don't care what was repossessed. You just check my crib, bitch, and see the cars in my garage, and you lift the goddamn garage up. Don't tell me what's has been, tell me what's now. (laughing) - Oh my God. Ryan is, I'll say one thing. Ryan is always good for some like, real housewives of Atlanta, you know, shit like that. - Oh, so funny. - You know what's up. - Nini was like that, I love that. - Don't talk about the past, talk about it. I did say I was a stripper, and I liked it. What do you want me to say? (laughing) - Oh, Atlanta was awesome. Okay, what else happened? 'Cause I don't even remember what else happened on that. - Well, so once again, they've pretty much all missed Demetri's little performance, you know, they like showed up for the last five minutes of it. So once again, you know, you said that Demetri's like, Lady Edith on down Nappy, like nothing good ever happens to her. Once again, they like, they roll into her performance for her just to hear like the (vocalizing) thank you very much. It was over. - Yeah, yeah, they got there just some time for the end. And somebody, I think somebody on her Facebook again was like, that dress was from Target. I own it. Poor thing. And then they're terrible apology too. That was so funny. She came by to say hi to Phaedra. And she's like, Phaedra, you know, that wasn't nice. It's stuff I said about you. I really apologize. And Phaedra's like, okay, thanks. (laughing) - Phaedra can't even say she's sorry. But also, how can you come say sorry, like, and be so nice when just a second ago, you were yelling about how her husband's going to prison. And that's not, I don't know. I think these women are very forgiving. And I know that sounds silly to say, but if anybody talked to me like half of these women talked to each other, I would be so horrified. I'd be hiding in my house. - Well, the truth is that they're all like animals. They're just like crazy, awful people. - Yeah. - That's what it takes to be on the show. - Bye. - Girl bye. - Girl bye. - Girl bye. - So, that show is done for now, right? Was there anything else? - Nothing that I can really remember, to be honest. Those guys are fun. - That was the main thing. - Oh my God, that show's been so, so good. - It was. - Yeah, last week we spent a lot of time on Atlanta. So this week I don't have as much to say. However, if you do, if you are a subscriber and you get the ringers, there's a whole month dedicated to Atlanta. It's candy squeaking, Porsche trying to talk English, Claudia talking about how she loves shoes, but she's not gonna put miles on her vagina to get them. So go check those out on patreon.com/watchacapans. - Yeah, absolutely. - So let's move on to what we're kind of done, but a new housewives show has come on across the pond and it's called The Real Housewives of Cheshire. - Yeah. - That's why I'm saying that with an Australian accent. I'm no likey. - No? - I do not like them. And I watched the first one. I watched the first one at three in the morning really drunk while I was eating cereal. And I thought maybe it would be funny. - But they're really low energy. They talk like that. - And their opening lines are like, "I'm a fun girl who likes chocolate and man, and I'm rich and also gorgeous." And this is how I feel about this song. Like they're this long paragraph monologues. - Oh, that's a good song. - One of the girls said, "I like coffee, chocolate, and then all rich, especially like my husband." Like, "Oh God." And it's the same storylines or someone who boxes like Adrian. - Yeah. - Yeah, there's someone, you know, there's like an independent businesswoman. And then it starts with a woman having a ball and someone doesn't want to pay for tickets to the bomb. Yawn. Yawn. Can't take it, don't care. It sucks, not watching it. - Yeah, I was going to watch it. And first of all, I had a very hard time even finding it. Like I was like looking all over. I went to delish shows, as you said last week. And it wasn't there. Or at least there wasn't a link to watching online. And then by the time I finally was able to find a link, 'cause someone posted on our page, I was going to watch it this morning. I was going to wake up early and watch an episode. But guess what, I set my alarm, but I forgot to actually turn the alarm clock on. And I woke up at 9.30, and then I had to be somewhere. I had like 10, so. - Apologies. - Lively story, Ben. Lively story. - You know what we can also talk about real quickly as Top Chef. - Boring. - I like it. I like it. I mean, it's not as good as New Orleans, but I like it. - So boring this season. I cannot take that show this season. And I love Top Chef. Love it. - Are you gonna watch Tom Clickio's new show? I think it actually airs tonight. - Yes. - The best new restaurant. Oh, it starts tonight? God, I'm really sucking at my job right now. Nothing is covered. We're not-- - Don't worry, it's just a podcast. - That show, okay, I watched the British version, the Gordon Ramsay's best restaurant, and it's really good. - How does it work? - How does it work? - How does it work? - Well, on his, on that show, it was people nominate the best restaurants, and then they pick the ones, they have a staff that goes out and eats at all of them, and picks like the top 20 or something. And then Gordon Ramsay puts two of them against each other, each episode, and one wins. And then at the end, you know, there's like a semi-finals and a final. And then the one I saw it was between these gastro-modern chefs who did like weird shit like pig-liver frozen in olive juice topped with frog butt or whatever. And then it was this like older Indian lady and her daughter who just made really good Indian food. And he ended up picking the like kids, which was weird. But it was so good and so beautiful, and I cried a lot. And in the British versions of shows, Gordon Ramsay's not a prick, like he's actually nice. Yeah. And really charming. And he's actually there to help people. I said, just abuse them. So it was really good and I'm hoping they don't ruin it because Tom Colequio's not nice. And I love Tom though. Gordon Ramsay's not nice in America. So part of the fun of it was that it was nice and they're like complimenting people. 'Cause even if you get, even if you don't win, you're not being ripped apart 'cause you're still one of the best restaurants in the world, you know, or in the country. Yeah, well, I think that I don't think it's gonna be nasty. I think Tom Colequio, he's kind of like a dick, but he's not like hourly nasty. And I don't get the sense that Gordon Ramsay is even gonna be on camera. They just said he was producing it, so. Oh yeah, I mean, how many shows can the fucking guy do? He's in like 20 shows a year. I know, it's insane. So yeah, I'll watch that one. But Tom Chef, first of all, they had an episode where no one gets eliminated. Why? Yeah. Well, 'cause the parents came and their family came in and that one Asian girl-- They still eliminate people on other seasons when their family's there. But this time, the family members had to create like a dish. And so I think it would have been too mean to like eliminate someone based on like someone who's totally a napped in the kitchen, you know? Like, that's not really fair. I backed that they didn't eliminate anyone. I was okay with it. You know, I'm like, I am an apologist for Tom Chef, so don't mind me. I just, to me, that nothing happens on that show. And it's not-- I don't-- If they-- again, I mean, I say this all the time, if they were at least showing them cooking, I could be into it. But at this point, it's just a bunch of people-- Stop coughing! I know. It's been three weeks now. And I feel good, but I still have that lingering-- Take-- Take-- Take-- Honestly, take Robatussin lingering cough. It's really good. Is that a thing? Yeah, you can get it at Rock 'n' Roll Ralphs. Lingering cough that's called? 'Cause I-- my coughs linger like crazy. It's like the cranberries up in here. All they do is linger. And it has cut down the time of the lingering quite a bit for me in the past. I don't even understand what's happening to me. I quit smoking three years ago. I should be healthy. No, that's not helping. Are you taking any sort of cough syrup? Well, I did, but I mean, I was taking cold medicine and cough syrup for two weeks. And now I actually feel better. I don't feel sick at all. Yeah, but I don't-- Take the lingering cough, because what it does is, it means you'll cough less. And that way, you'll do less sort of like damage-- not damage, damage sounds too severe, but like, you know-- No, it's true. It does damage to you. I think it's like still coughing. Yeah, the more you cough, the more you irritate your lungs and the more you irritate your lungs, the more you have to cough. So it like, it kills that cycle a little bit. And it also, according to my doctor, 'cause I had a really bad lingering cough last year or two years ago. And it also helps break up some of the mucus that's in there. So I'm telling you, Robituss and lingering cough. OK, I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it. Not even paying for that. That was a free spot for Robituss and because Lord knows Robituss and he needs the money, right? Oh my god, do you sound like Geraldo on Celebrity, Prentice? He's like, I had-- Oh, this is just full of nuts. Oh, it was me big. I mean, I normally get paid a ton of money for these endorsements. The most recognizable voice in the country. Oh, he is so fucking arrogant. Oh, I love the money. And the one where he's insisting on taking selfies of him shirtless. Oh, god. He is a gem. He is a gem. That's so why does it need to be two hours a week? It's killing me. We barely even talked about it. I know. We'll be watching it. I'm only watching it for this stupid podcast. We didn't even talk about it. We talked about it a little bit. We talked about it way back like 10 hours ago when this podcast started. Ugh. So that's it, eh? I think that's it. I was going to talk about some of the other stuff. But I suddenly have to go to the bathroom very badly. So I'm like, well, I would apologize to people. I think we owe people an apology because we were like, watch Cheshire. You have to watch Real Housewives of Cheshire. And then it's terrible. And I'm not going to-- I don't want to cover that. I've had enough. Also, the shots are coming back. Yeah, in March, shots are coming back in March. We saw our first commercial again since the-- Melbourne is coming back. I think this week or next week. And then southern Melbourne, while it's on, are we going to do that? Melbourne's coming back on Bravo. I mean, I know it's back in Australia, but I know they were airing at on Bravo already. I don't know, actually, then. And then-- I guess you should just bring that back when they start airing at on Bravo. Let's just do that when it's on Bravo so that way more people can watch it with us. We're not getting people to steal stuff online. Southern Charm is coming back. Oh, yeah. OK, so we don't need another housewife. So we're going to be just fine here on this podcast. Yeah. Yeah, we'll get through it together. Oh. OK, everybody, thank you so much for listening. And thanks for all your support on patreon.com/watchworkcrapins. Find our social media links at watchworkcrapins.com. Find Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recap. So I'm trash talk TV by me. And find Ben's other podcast, The Bantablinta, by searching on Twitter. I mean, Black Twitter. I've got Black Twitter in my head, right? Your podcast probably does show up on Black Twitter, actually. But yeah, search for it on Stitcher, iTunes, all the good podcast places. And thank you to everybody on our Facebook page for being hilarious. It was another fun show of reading all of your comments and stealing them. And hopefully we'll see some of you on the Hangout tomorrow night or Thursday, I should say, because you don't know when we're listening to it. Yeah. Thursday, the 22nd, 6 PM Pacific. Google Hangout, details will be on Facebook and Patreon, so. Yeah. And that's it. Love you guys. Have a good one. All right. Bye. Bye. [MUSIC PLAYING] If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the internet. The folks behind the side show network have launched a new YouTube channel called Wait For It. It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza Schleisinger, slicing, driving friends with it for 10 years. 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If you like Watch what Crap is, you can list them ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcast. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at Wondery.com/survey. In a quiet suburb, a community is shattered by the death of beloved wife and mother. But this tragic loss of life quickly turns into something even darker. Her husband had tried to hire a hitman on the dark web to kill her, and she wasn't the only target. Because buried in the debt to the internet is the kill list, a cache of chilling documents containing names, photos, addresses, and specific instructions for people's murders. This podcast is the true story of how it ended up in a race against time to warn those who lives were in danger. And it turns out convincing a total stranger someone wants them dead is not easy. Follow Kill List on The Wondery app wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Kill List and more exhibit see true crime shows like Morebid early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. Check out Exhibit C in The Wondery app for all your true crime listening.
