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Go to GoDaddy.com and enter promo code WWC149. That is WWC149 to get your $1.49 a .com. Some limitations apply, see website for details. Okay, thank you, bye guys. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) - Hello everyone, welcome to Watch What Crap and it's a podcast about all the crap we love to talk about on Bravo. I'm Ronnie Caron from Trash Talk TV and I'm here with Ben Madelker of bsideblog.com. Hi Ben. - Oh, hi Ronnie. You're such a great guy, Ben. - No, you're the great guy. You are the greatest of the greats. - Come on to facebook.com/watch what crap owns. If you want to talk to us during the week, comment on all the shows and post your own stories and all of that stuff. It's a really good community over there. We will be reading it throughout the post there throughout the show today as used. And if you want to find our own social media links, you can go to watch at crapense.com. That has links to all of our social media outlets, our websites, blah, blah, blah. Please support us. You can go to patreon.com/watch what crap is. That's P-A-T-R-E-O-N, patreon.com/watch what crap is. You can become a paid subscriber there. All of our shows are free, but if you become a paid subscriber, you'll get a bonus episode every week. That's about 20 to 30 minutes. And we do ringers once a month. And we do a Google Hangout, which is gonna be tomorrow night, Thursday the 18th. - Yes, Christmas party. It's our Christmas party on the internet. - Yeah, we're gonna have an internet Christmas party tomorrow. So come join us there and get in on a lot of the extra stuff 'cause it's super fun. I'm doing Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recaps on Trash Talk TV. And I think that's all our plug-in. What do you have to say again? - I was just gonna say that this week's bonus episode, we were just recorded it. We're talking about the Sony hack. We talked about serial again. And we sort of talked about the junk on our Facebook feed. So it's actually a really funny episode. I really enjoyed it. - 'Cause, cereal's almost over. Okay, so before we start talking about cereal for another five hours, 'cause for some reason I can. Let's discuss these, these Obravo shows being in. - Oh yeah. - Which one do you wanna start with? - Whatever one you want to. I actually took a whole bunch of notes on Vanderpump Rules and took a few notes on the others. - Let us, you know what? Let's talk about Top Chef really quick. I know we never talked about it. - Oh sure. - But are you caught up on Top Chef? - Of course. - Okay, what are your thoughts on this season of Top Chef? 'Cause we really haven't discussed it very much. - I am a Top Chef apologist and so I just always, I just always like Top Chef no matter what. I don't think it's as good as last season because I loved Top Chef New Orleans because I loved, I like the characters on New Orleans. More there are people like I rooted for like Shirley and there were like three people that I wanted to win last season. On top of that, I thought the challenges in New Orleans were really good and I thought that that season did a really good job of exploring the different food scenes in New Orleans. You know, prior to that season of Top Chef, I was like, yeah, you know, Cajun food's nice or whatever. But I had no active interest in it and that show made so many parts of Louisiana cuisine look so tasty to me and interesting. It sort of like opened my eyes to it and then as luck would have it, I actually went to New Orleans in April and I was like, so excited to go there and try all this food that I'd seen on the show. And I feel like that was Top Chef at its best, both a fun competition, fun characters, but illuminating too. So I thought that was great. I don't think the Boston season has been as illuminating but 'cause I did hear that Boston really resisted the Top Chef crew. Like they made it really hard for them to shoot. They made it really hard for them to do a lot of the things they wanted to do. So they don't, I don't think they had as much freedom and therefore couldn't really explore the city the way they did the previous season. - Oh, well that makes sense because yeah, it seems a little weird. It's like the only thing we really see about Boston, I mean, it's all this Americana stuff, which I don't know, I don't like it. And I don't know why, but it's just so boring to me. Like I don't wanna watch people cook in, like. - Right. I was like-- - I'm like wound and dirt. - Because this latest episode, the elimination challenge took place in the Top Chef kitchen because they brought Alex, this name Alex, the guy who was eliminated first and he became, he won his way back into the show. And they had like all these super fans come in, including this like super adorable Indian girl, I mean, I assume she's Indian, she was so sweet. Oh my God, she's my favorite part of the show. But they did the challenge in the kitchen, which was very reminiscent of Top Chef Masters or Just Desserts, which are like much cheaper shows. And I was like, this shows, this season's feeling a little, doesn't feel like it has the scope of the other seasons. But then I remember that's because Boston pushed back, but that's, of course, typical Boston is to make people's lives hell. - Yeah, what's up with that? That's an East Coast thing. - You know, Boston is very much, it's a beautiful city and in some ways it's a very worldly city with all these great educational institutions and a lot of culture. But the climate of Boston is very much, this is the way we do things and this is the way it is and we're not gonna like change. This is the way we do, there's sort of a provincial mindset. I'm sorry if there are any Bostonians out there, but you know it's true, don't act like it's not. I went to school in New England and I went to school with a lot of people from Massachusetts and Boston specifically. I feel I can speak about this with authority. - Yeah, so part of it too is just the, maybe it's the people that are on it. - Yeah. - And this is a complaint I always have with these kinds of shows. I really just wanna see them cook. Like I wanna know what they're making and how they're making it. I want them when they're chopping shit up to be like, I'm using a julienne chop on this because it's important for these pieces to be long and perfectly chopped and here's how to do it fast. Or you know, the best way to cook a chicken breast, sure it's boring, but if you just put it in some ice water and lemon and salt first for about 15 minutes and then you poke holes in the middle and then make sure you don't put it on more than five minutes at this, you know, I know that sounds like technical and boring. - No, I know they're, well they don't have to list a recipe but they could explain a little bit more about why they're cooking something the way they are. They usually talk about why they're cooking something because it's gonna, 'cause it goes into disaster, you know? - Yeah, we're like tips where they're like, oh, if you crack the egg, not against a bowl but on a flat surface, you won't get any shells in your egg bowl. You know, stuff like on the Food Network, how you have to always have a tip. - Yeah, how about like maybe de-emphasize some of the quick fire a little bit, like you don't need as much time with the quick fire, maybe that would help it. There's more room to talk about what they're cooking. - Well, they're showing them cook anyway. It's like they're taking the time to show them cook but instead of like actually educating people, they're just like, oh no, I lost my lemons back at the ranch. Oh shit, what am I gonna do with that lemon? Can I borrow your lemons? No, what a bitch, you wouldn't give me a lemon. - Yeah, it's like this. - Or how about-- - So stupid. - How about instead of the 30 millionth time we've seen on Top Chef, someone saying, man, when I was a kid, I was really out of control. I got into drugs, and then cooking kind of saved me and then once I started cooking it, it cleaned me up. Every single chef says that. Every single episode, we don't need to see that. We know that's the story behind all these chefs is that they didn't finish high school but they went on, they found food, and they went to culinary school and then we see a picture of them graduating and they look all clean-cut and then come to them now and they've got tattoos like under their eyeballs and they look stupid, like enough, like we get it. It's the same arc every single time. - Yeah, and I think having these shows on for so many years and so many of them have trained people to be contestants and it's just, it's not as fun to watch because they're all, you know, basically practiced and they all have their stories. It's like, oh, look, I'm making a, I'm making Ministroni and the reason I make Ministroni is because my mom used to be poor and she used to work five jobs but Ministroni was the easiest thing and she would come home and she would make this for us for us kids and it would just make us feel so loved and then she got cancer-side. It's like, oh, geez. - Every single, no, you're totally right. Every single one has the same backstory, right? I mean, backstory at all. Even if they don't have one, they make it sound like this important thing. - I miss my family, I miss my kids. That's another big one. - Yeah. - That being said, I do have some favorites. I do like Dougie, he's a little one. I like the guy who was voted out. I'm not voted out, he was eliminated. Was Adam's at his name? He's this sort of... - Yeah, I liked and pointed when he got eliminated only because he's just airing it. And whenever they spend the entire episode showing one person going, I don't even know what they're doing here. I can cook circles around them. What losers. - I'm amazing. I'm an amazing cook. They're stupid. They just stop. Do you know who I've worked for? - Bye. - When you're out. - I like the black guy. He actually seems like he's the most talented. I like May, for some reason I always root for the Asian girl on this show. So I'm rooting for both. - I'm rooting for the other Asian girl. - Yeah, I like her too. She's bitch. The other Asian girl is so pretty. - May's just so cocky. And I love that she basically lost two challenges in a row. That was hilarious. - I know, but I like May. Sorry, I'm actually-- - But I worked for Voltasia, so. (growling) - I was sorry, everyone, I'm eating. We didn't take a break between our bonus episode and this one, so I'm cramming up protein bar down my face. But, well, this is on it. I like, those are people I like the most. I'm glad Carrie Anne is gone. I liked her in the beginning, but I got sick of her. I missed the nice girl. - What were you a couple of miles? - She was kind of borderline, are you talking about Carrie Anne? - No, I'm talking about the nice girl who eliminated. She lost to the new guy, the new old guy. - Oh, yeah, the cooking-- - Teaching instructor, I like her so much, even though she was eventually out of her league. Oh, so you know what, I, you know what, crack me up. The new guy, I think his name is Alex. When he's giving his backstory, he's like, "Well, I'm gonna cook something with like lamb "because my family owns like all Greek diners." I was like, "Oh, really?" No shit, Sherlock. I mean, look at the guy. His hair is like greased back. He's in a black tank top. He's got like a necklace on, chest hair coming out the top. I mean, this guy is like the most Greek dinery air of all time. - Yeah, frozen french fries come with everything, with the side of yogurt. - Yeah, oh, one thing we have to talk about is how the judges did all the shopping, which was, I was laughing because I just like love Padma. Like Padma can really do nothing wrong in my book. I just love her, even though of her terrible stories about her. I mean, she like stole Richard Blaze's fish. And then they had just like spilled out on the floor and she's like, "Oh, like clean up in aisle five." I'm like, you just wasted like $100 worth of fish. - At least. - But yeah, for some reason, I'm just like, "Oh Padma." I'm just like, "Isn't she wonderful?" - Padma's such an asshole. I love in restaurant wars how she was like, "I haven't had to wait for a table this long and forever." - He's just so full of yourself. - You know, the biggest asshole was freaking Richard Blaze. Got all that molecular gastronomy shit that no one used. I mean, why, like it's just so annoying. Like we know you earned molecular gastronomy, but the challenge is not like, what can you make? It's like, you know what these chefs are all about, so make something, give them an ingredients that they can use. - Well, I think I'm just maybe a little over cooking shows 'cause I watch so many of them and I'm so obsessed with them that even when there's not one to watch, I keep looking more of them up on the internet. Like I found Jamie Oliver, the taste is back on. Oh, you want to talk about a show? At least that one tries to like teach some parts, like all the celebrity judges have, or the, you know what I mean? Yeah, the chef judges, they actually have to show their teams how to cook something every week, and then the teams have to try and replicate it in one of the challenges. And so that I guess is kind of neat, but that's another one. It's like this two hour long show, and you watch so, I think it's two hours, I mean, I watch it on the internet, but it seems really long. - Wait, hold on. - I think it's an hour and a half. - I've got someone at the door, I think it's UPS. Hold on. - Oh, for Christ's sake. - Oh, all right, all right. - Jesus mother effer, we're back. What'd you get from UPS? - I got some screeners, I got the hobbit. - What screeners are they? - I got the hobbit, inherent vice, and unbroken. - What's unbroken? - It's Angelina Jolie's new movie. - Oh my god, did you see the Angelina Jolie video to her fans? Oh my goodness. - No, I didn't see the video. - Oh my god, buddy, look it up. She's like, "Hi everybody, it's me, Angelina. "You might be wondering where I am right now. "Well, I'm not doing promotion "for my new wonderful movie, Unbroken. "I have chicken paulks." - No. - "I'm at home with my chicken paulks." (laughing) - That's it. Thanks, it's like the most awkward video ever and she has a Madonna fake English accent now. Has she always had that? - I think it's been a recent thing. I wish she had to put up the hashtag #chinglewhitefemale. (laughing) #chinglejolee hashtag #chinglewhitefemale. I'm gonna have to read that. I'm gonna tweet it right now. I'm gonna beat Angelina Jolie to it. - Well, she wasn't a single white female, was she? - No, because if you have chicken paulks, you can get shingles if you have chicken paulks. So there's this commercial that's on all the time right now that's like, if you've had chicken paulks and the shingles virus is, I do already. - Oh god. - Yeah. - So anyway, Angelina Jolie is not on Bravo, but anyway, the taste I was saying, I don't even know, the taste is not Bravo, but anyway, that show is so long and they make like hundreds of dishes and you never know what the hell they're doing. And then it comes on with this little tiny spoon and then watching the judges try and pretend they know what they're even doing. Sometimes it's really funny. They're like, what is this taste? What is this? I can't play. So what did you put in this? 'Cause I don't recognize it. They're like, lemon zest. Oh, that's it. That's it. Lemon zest. And Ludo. - Oh, you don't listen to me. Oh, get out of here. - I'm just happy that Brian Malarkey is not on that show anymore. - Oh, really? - He was the worst. Now it's Marcus Samuelson. He was also pretty arrogant, but I like him. - He's a top chef master. He's a top chef master. He won one season of top chef master. - I think he won top chef master. I think he also won Iron Chef, didn't he? - He wins everything. He's like one of the top people of all time. - He's like, this guy could give you good advice. And he's a good chef because he has a James Beard award, but I have six. - I'm like, okay. - He's a good man. - But everyone loves me. - Yeah, and I feel bad for Nigel on that show because no one chooses her. It's like being the Gwen Stefani of the voice. - How could you? - You know, the taste. - I would like to pick her immediately. - I love Nigel. But Nigel has this, well, she always loses. And she also has this really terrible flaw where she tries to pick the home cooks on purpose. So she's picking the worst cooks because she thinks that they're home. Like if they don't have enough technique, she's like, oh, it's a home cook. I'm a home cook. I'll pick a home cook. - No, bitch. You're doing that 'cause her food's not good. Like don't pick people because they're not as refined as the other people. How do you think you're gonna win? And of course you, you know, is already behind it. Anyway, I don't know where we're talking about that show. Sorry. - Well, one of my favorite top chef, one of my favorite top chef episodes of all time was when Nigella and Padma had breakfast in bed in Las Vegas. - Oh, that was good. - Like, I don't know, and you know what? Nigella was an excellent top chef judge. And I don't know why she has not been back. - I think she's just doing her own thing. I think the taste is her show. - Yeah, I guess so. - They still share the UK version with the same judges. Well, at least Anthony and Ludo. - I see, I see. - And that one's really good. And the UK one, they really show you what they're doing. It's like a real kitchen they're in. It's not some weird, the voice set. It's like a real kitchen and it's really quiet and they have like classical music playing. - It's so different. I like that. - I don't know what it is, but I wish arts was like that. They're like, "What are you making?" And they're like, "I'm making a biscuit." And he's like, "How do I do it?" "You gotta sift the flour first." I mean, they're good in that. Yeah, that's good, I love that. - Well, UK reality shows are funny because they rely on narrators a lot more, I notice. Like, I don't think they use professionals as much to tell the story. So I find that whenever I watch a British reality show, it's always like one small thing happens. Like, someone says, "Oh, I like this quite a bit." And then Narrator says, "My jailer likes it quite a bit, "but what she doesn't realize is that so-and-so "has been sitting in the backyard "and is thinking about her mother." And then the other person's like, "I miss my mom." And it's like, meanwhile, in the other room, so-and-so has just gone to the bathroom. And someone's like, "Yeah, that was all. "I just took a good load off me." Meanwhile, and it's like always goes from one thing to another, there's like so much narrator. Like, the scenes don't really develop, you know? - I do think it's just because the Americans are so trained in giving a monologue and the Brits aren't. 'Cause last year on the UK one, they had this girl who looked just like Lena Dunham, she was just kind of like dumpy, nerdy girl, you know? And she was suffering from a lack of confidence. And they would do that with her all the time. They'd be like, "Lena is sitting in the corner, "disappointed with herself over her biscuits. "Lena." And she'd be like, "I'm disappointed over my biscuits." And they're like, "Let's go into the kitchen." - Yeah, they really do, like every single thing they tell a graph, the London telegraph. - But also the people just don't go on big monologues. They'll be like, "So, how did this challenge go for you, "Dolly?" And she's like, "Well, I dropped my dough, "that wasn't fun." And then I put it in the oven. - Well, one time I was watching some weird British version of the real world where a bunch of horny Brits, actually it's more like temptation island. They were on an island together and they were all drunk. And I was watching this with my friend Nicky Spice, well, we call it Nicky Spice. And I think she listens to this podcast, "Oh, hey, Nicky Spice." And there were these British people, I was like, "Again, heavily narrated." It was like, it's like, "Charles really enjoys Nadine's company." And so he's invited her into the kitchen to have some wine. And then they'd be like, "This is a lovely wine." And then they'd be like, "Meanwhile, in the living room, "so much, anyway, they got all drunk." And one of them had like a shrimp, like a live shrimp. It was like holding this live shrimp. And they were like, "Nathan has found himself a shrimp "and he wants to make it his pet." He's like, "Everyone, look at my shrimp." "Oh, I found a shrimp." And they all started laughing and he put the shrimp on the floor and stomped on it. And they showed this poor flattened shrimp on the floor. And I was like, "You know what?" And they all started laughing. And I was like, "British reality TV is not for me." They were stomping on shrimp and shit. They were like, "Nathan has just stomped on a shrimp." Meanwhile, in the other villa, people are having conversations. (laughing) - Let's move on to a housewives show, shall we? - Yeah. - If they don't like listen to people who listen to this, y'all are housewives people and we just gave you a good 20 minutes of top chef. So take that. - We gave you a double serving of top chefs. - I love me some top chef. Even this low, this is the first season I have been like, eh, I'm not picky when it comes to top chef. I love every season too. But this year, I'm like me. - Yeah, we don't like it. - Okay, so which housewives? - Well, I'm open for whatever you'd like. You wanna do Beverly Hills since it was just... - Sure. - Right now? - I only wrote one note for Beverly Hills this week. And I said, "Taylor's Gage White is now Lisa's gay." - I know, that was pretty, well, at first I thought, well, maybe it's just not the same Dwight 'cause he's in Palm Springs and this and that. But man, the minute he gave that speech or he was like, this is the speech for Lisa. Lisa, many gay people have a hard time when they are young and you are wonderful. And I love milk, white milk, and crackers together, possibly in the microwave. But I mostly like their room temperature. Thank you. And Lisa's like, oh darling, I'm crying. Like Dwight, stop talking. You boring ass motherfucker. I've never met a gay best friend as boring as you, Dwight. - That's how I would be as a gay best friend 'cause I'm not like, I'm not showing up in some strange shirt and like with my eyebrows. I'll lift it. - Oh please. You don't look like a gay friend and you don't like necessarily talk like a bravo gay but you're a fun gay friend. You're like, oh my God, let's go to this new club. And then this place is, you know, I've heard about this place and I totally just wrote a Yelp review about this other place. And then I know this place in Koreatown and this other place of-- - I sound awful. - I know this person and that person. I can do this. No, you're like fun and social and active. Like that's the kind of gay I want to be around. - The way you describe me, I sound like actually like a Broadway, like a number in a Broadway musical. Like, I just went to this place. This place is fun and we can go to the club and I wrote a review. - Popular, so you want to be popular. - So we'll go to the Grove. We'll go to the Grove and we'll just be in like your fun and you have like a lot of fun things, even if they're really weird and gay. Like you have a lot of really fun things to do. - Dwight does not. Dwight's just like, what are you doing? - I don't know, what are you doing? - I don't know. What are you doing? - I don't know, what are you doing? - I don't know. What are you doing? - Yeah. He's like, whatever. But listen, on the spectrum of Bravo Gaze, he's far from the worst. - On the spectrum of Bravo Gaze, he's the best because he's quiet. Sometimes that's, sometimes from the Bravo Gaze, you just need a little silence, you know? - Okay, I just came on to Amazon.com. Do you want to know what is inspired by my shopping trends? This is so sad. - I love this, I'm gonna do this right after you. - True, calm, true, calm, herbal supplement. As Taxothin, Rodeola, Best Fosfata Dil, Brain Elevate, L. Argonine, Mood Support, St. John's Awards. (laughing) It's all these pills. - And then a Mediterranean cookbook, The Shell Collector, 10 Things To Do, Ages 10 Through 12. What the fuck? Tony Robbins Money, Master the Game, and Easy Proshang. What the fuck am I on? - All right, my inspired by your shopping trends truly makes no sense. The first one is an oxo good grips pop rectangle, a half court storage container, which I would kind of like. One is something called SIR as an SIR conference and the Dragon of Pi, a math adventure. I have no idea why that's there. And then a t-shirt that says Pi, Pi t-shirt. (laughing) - I'm not like a mathmatic, a Tron Attache Encore Lamp dimmer, a webcam signature West Highland Terrier plush toy, a Westy toy, the gentleman's guide to cocktails, the modern gentleman's second edition, a guide to essential manners, another lamp dimmer, style bible, a six compact T-bag box. - Good match. - An Ikea ceiling lamp and a toothpick holder. I think that's another Westy thing and a yogurt maker. You know what's so funny? Those are all items that Kim's daughter got for her wedding. (laughing) - Kim's wedding was actually, I actually thought it was nice. You know why I liked it? Because it was like the first Bravo wedding in the history of Bravo weddings. That was not a 30 minute affair on our TV screens. It was five minutes at the end of the show, very tastefully done, with some, actually some very sweet anecdotes from Kim reminiscing about Brooke growing up. And I actually thought it was tastefully done for the first time ever. And so I say Bravo to Bravo. - Well, I think Bravo wants to fire Kim, but they don't because then Kyle, like supposedly Kyle has Kim in her contract, like they're a package deal or whatever, which I mean, I don't know why you would care if you lose Kyle either, frankly. But I think Bravo is just like, oh God, Kim's daughter's having a wedding. All right, give it three minutes at the end of the show. - 'Cause I thought it was nice. - Not like what, by the way-- - But watch Kim prepare for the wedding. Let's do all this stuff. It's like, let's watch Kim go to a store and pretend to pick out a dress. And she's just like, why do I? I don't know, I like that girl, I like gold. - And that's it. - I like, by the way, that Cathy Hilton totally stole Kim's dress in a blue version. - What the hell? After calling it ugly or something, right? - She totally had like the same dress, but in blue. I was like, oh, you are a woman. - Cathy Hilton is not a nice woman. God, standing up there in that awful dress with her bad bra, just being like, "Oh, hello, welcome to the wedding." She just doesn't come across as a very nice girl. - But you know what though? Brooke's new husband, super cute. - He's the fat burger heir, right? - I thought, that's, I read that on our Facebook page, but I thought that it was Kyle's daughter who was dating fat burger. - No, I think I said that. I think I mistated that. - Oh, that, oh, so Kim's daughter married the fat burger. You know, what the fuck is wrong with me? What is wrong with my parents that they didn't instill these kind of values in me? I knew plenty of rich people growing up I could have tried to bag. - Oh wait, oh wait, nevermind. I, it, yeah, no, I have a confirmation. It is Kim Richard's daughter, Brooke Brinson, marries the fat burger heir. - Sorry, I just completely ruined your rant about something funny. - No, that was a non-listening moment for me. - I am, go, I'm opening our Facebook page right now to re-comment. Okay, so the Kim, the Kim wedding was kind of boring and the whole watching her first husband die of brain cancer is so sad. I don't need any of this in my life, all right? Let's lighten it up. And also, why is Kim dressed in the same color as all the vases in her house and all of her? - She's got sick, she's got sick camouflage because Kingsley comes for her again. - Kingsley, what's one of the blue things as me? - John, I'm buying me Kingsley, I'm just a vase. - Oh man. (laughing) - Oh Kingsley's. - Nothing here to bite, just a bunch of vases. - So the other thing, let's say Lisa Vanderpoops went to Palm Springs for her star on the walk of the whatever, that looked like a damn first cafeteria lobby and there was like old people and highlights. What is going on with the gays in Palm Springs? I mean, we've always known that y'all are your own brand out there and that's great. You all seem to have a great time in that 120 degree weather but highlights, come on guys. Every single one of you needs highlights. Did that come in recently? Did it never go out? Palm Springs, explain your sales, okay? - Yeah, Palm Springs gays, I'm actually surprised they have not received the show on Bravo yet but I think it's because Bravo doesn't really like doing shows actually about the gays. They like gays to be supporting characters but they do deserve their own thing. Maybe logo can go after that crowd. - I think you know what they tried to do on logo when they did that, all boys, that housewives with balls or whatever it was called. - A-list New York, oh wow, what a terrible show. - I mean, that was gays but there was really only one married guy on there so it wasn't really a housewives. - Well, then there was Riken and his boyfriend or whatever but that was just like awful gays. That was like awful gays hanging out or whatever and also I pissed off the guy from that show. I told you that, right? - Which one, Rodney? - Derek, like the skinny bitch. I think he threw the water on somebody. I think he threw the water on. It was awful, right? Okay, if I've told the story on the podcast, stop me in the middle of the business. - I think you told it on a house so I've hoedown back in the day so I think you should tell it again. - Okay, so I was at Pride two years ago with my friends walking along having a great old time. One of them brings this guy Derek. I recognized him but I didn't know where from and I'd seen him the week prior at Fubar sitting on the stool outside which is for the door, like where the door man sits or whatever. So I saw him and I was like, "Oh, hey, you're the new door man at..." - Fubar. - You're the new door man at Fubar. - What's up? - And he's like, "No, I'm not." And I said, "Oh, I thought you were "because I was just there the other day "and I saw you sitting on that stool right by the door "that's where the door man sits." And he's like, "I don't even remember that. "I mean, I was there." I was like, "Oh, well, I'm not accusing you of anything." I was actually saying like, "Hey, the new door man." 'Cause I talked to the door man at the Fubar 'cause my friends are smokers and he's like, "Whatever." Like, he just gave me a look like your backrest. - Yeah, what a bitch. - So, I still didn't recognize who he was, right? So I just kept calling him the door man all day 'cause I was drunk too. So I get even more of it. - But it's funny because any human being would think that it's like a hilarious mix up and we'd just go with it and be like, "Yeah, I'm the door man, the new door man." - Check IDs, you know. But everywhere we'd go in and people were like, "Can we see your idea?" I'd be like, "You can't idea a door man." You know, I was just trying to make him like me 'cause he obviously hated my guts. So then, at the end of the day, he leaves. It's not even the end of the day. It's like the middle of the day. He's like, "Five inches." Like, he did not like me. And I was like, "Sorry, I made your friend so mad." I was just trying to fuck with him and he goes, "You know, you really can be an asshole." That guy, you know, pretending that you thought he was a door man is one thing, but then pretending you don't even know who he is the whole day. I said, "Who is he? "I don't know who he is. "He acts like he's fucking Ryan's. "He cries us. "Who is he?" He was like, "Well, actually, it's funny you say that "'cause he moved here to..." Or he's here taking interviews on being a television host. He's really into TV hosting. And he's from that show The A-List. He's the one who threw water on. I was like, "Are you fucking kidding me? "I was hanging out. "You're lucky I didn't know who that fool was." - Yeah. That's how, like, shame on your friend, by the way, for shaming you. Like, I can't believe you didn't recognize low-level, low-dose song. - Like a celebrity, you know. - Gays are so obsessed with celebrity. Even if you're upset, even if you're a celebrity for, like, running over an old lady in a crosswalk, they'll be like, "Girl, I saw you on the cover of the times." - Crosswalk times. - Will you marshal piss on me day at the fault line? - This episode is sponsored by DoorDash. - We're back to tell you more about the latest Dash Pass annual plan benefit. Streammax with ads included at no extra cost. - You know what's a great night for us? - Ordering DoorDash and cuddling up to watch the max original hacks. - Which won best comedy, deservedly so, and we love tuning in to see not only icon Gene Smart, but the wonderful and incomparable Rose Abdu, who also is a huge Bravo fan. - Listen, I'm always in the mood for hacks, but you never know what kind of food I'm in the mood for. Sometimes it's pizza, sometimes it's a salad, and I can get both with DoorDash. - How about some ice cream? That's what I like to eat with my hacks. - 100%. I will double Dash. I will get a salad and then double Dash some ice cream. Why not? - Sign up for a Dash Pass annual plan and get max included at no extra cost. - It's your door to more. - Max has now included with your Dash Pass annual plan. Streammax with ads up to $120 value included at no extra cost. - Terms apply, see doorDash.com/maxfor details. Unlock your imagination with Audible. When you listen to audio content, your mind is free to paint the scenes and feel the emotions of a great story. - Audible's extensive catalog is sure to have titles that you'll enjoy, immerse yourself in captivating tales, learn from world-renowned experts, and discover new perspectives all while multitasking or relaxing. - There's more to imagine when you listen, and one title that I've been listening to is my friend Neil J. Young's coming out Republican, which talks about the history of gay Republicans. It's super fascinating and super interesting. - As an Audible member, you choose one title a month to keep from their entire catalog. - New members can try Audible free for 30 days. Visit audible.com/crapins or text crapins to 500-500. That's audible.com/crapins or text crapins to 500-500. - It's true. - Anyway, why, this is a day of tangents. - Yeah. - I don't even know why I'm telling that stupid story. - Because-- - We're talking about how it's like. - Oh, palm springs. - Oh, palm springs. - So they need a real housewives show, and it would be perfect in palm springs, because that's where the older gays, okay, so for those of you who don't know any gay people, meet some, but for those of you who do, you already know this, when gays just fucking tell our penises stop working, right? So when our penises stop working, we start paying attention to what each other is saying, and so then we get married, right? So we only get married, I mean, I guess my time's coming up and getting old, but like, okay guys get married when they're like 50 these days, right? So that's where you find them, palm springs, married couples in their fifties, doing nothing but bitching at each other, and that would make an amazing show. - Yeah, I mean, the palm springs gays are, they're kind of like adorable, they tend to be these older men, kind of like theater queens, they go out there, they see cabarets, they, you know, they listen to-- - Far and gay. - Far and gay. - Far and gay. - Far and gay. - It's like where gays can just be fun and gay again, and not have to worry about push-ups. - Yeah, they're sort of like into piano bars, and they have very strange fashion choices, like that one British gay guy that Lisa had, who was like tall, and it looked like his eyes were connected to his ears, you know, that that's sort of what they all kind of look like. - You looked like his face had been gone over with a floor buffer, I mean, all of those gays, they looked like they were the texture of like a Barbie doll, like that referee. - I agree. Except for Dwight, except for Dwight. - Except for Dwight guy, bless him. But, you know, the thing is like, if there's a shirt that has like three different types of patterns on it, it'll be like off the racks in two seconds in Palm Springs, you know? - Mm-hmm. - But it's also like a very, I feel like it's a very sweet crowd of guys who just wanna like wear, like oversized button-down shirts and linen pants and have a glass of wine on their head, maybe a straw hat, and talk about their favorite candor and ebb song. - Totally, maybe this time, personally. - Oh my God, don't even say that, you know why? Because for some reason, I think it's 'cause my friend Eric was in cabaret this past week. That song got into my head, it was in my head for like two days. - And I loved that song. - I watched like three versions of it on YouTube. - Why is that? - I'm getting ready from, yeah, obviously Liza's was best, but then I saw a Julie Andrews version, which was a little strange, and I saw someone else. Oh, I saw the Glee version, I was like, why am I doing this? - Oh no, yeah. Don't do that to yourself. Also the version I have to see is the one from Bates Motel where the mom sings at a community theater audition. I was like, why is happening on this show? Why is the mom auditioning for a community theater show in the middle of a psycho killer show? What is that? Anyway, another show that's not Bravo, but yeah, that's a bad version. - I also saw the Audra McDonald version, which is not, I did not like it that much. I thought it'd be awesome. - She's too opera-y. - She's too opera, she was like, (mumbles) Yeah, Liza owns that one, I have to say, and that's not just a stereotypical fagito thing, she really does, she kills that one. - There's a certain type of voice that can do that one. - So yeah, Palm Springs, so these gays come over, and I love that Liza's getting a little risky with her behavior this season, okay, and here's why. She is, we've already talked about how she's like kind of overplaying the victim card, even though she was legit the victim. She's starting to overplay that, and she's starting to do that thing where she's doing big events that would normally be a trip to Palm Springs with the girls at the beginning of the season, and she's choosing to cast it on her own instead of bringing the cast weights and saying things like, well, I'm not bringing my friends 'cause I want a peaceful time. Listen, Mitch, I'm not watching this show for you to have a peaceful time with your purse holding, wig wearing, button down to his belly button, spray tan, old ass husband, sitting around with a bunch of-- - I was like, wow. - Low rant gaze. Like, that's not why I'm watching this show. You better cut a bitch. You better bring Brandy over here and start cutting a bitch. I'm not gonna just stand here. - Well, the best part is you just know Brandy's gonna say something like, I can't believe you didn't invite me to your star. Like, even though we were like in a fight, like that's a big deal. Like, I really would have liked to have been there for you. You know, Brandy's gonna pull some shit like that, which is bullshit because Brandy did not invite Liza to meet her dad up in Sacramento last season. - Oh, but that was all in the past. And, you know, Liza's done a lot of things too, which Brandy still can't name what those things are, but yeah, that's, I don't know. I need some maybe group scenes or something 'cause Lisa Rina is so funny and sweet and I really like her on the show, but she's really so far just like a passive lap dog. - Yeah. - That's how she's coming up. - Well, I mean, listen, I was happy did not have some of the other women there because it meant that Rosio could have a seat at the dinner table, which was funny because they're like, oh, Rosio gets to eat with us. You know, Rosio is so wonderful. And like Rosio just has to sit there quietly in the corner until they like mentioned her name and then she still has to clear all the dishes. - Oh, for Rosio. Rosio is so sweet. - I know. - She's so pretty and I hope that Rosio learns her some English because she needs to be in those conversations 'cause that shit would be hilarious. And she's around so many fascinating people. She needs to know what the hell everybody's talking about and get involved in the conversation. I wanna know what she's thinking. - I would like if Rosio swap places with Lydia's maid in Melbourne or maybe like a whole bunch of the help, it should be like instead of wife swap, it could be called help swap. And so then like someone like Lydia from Melbourne is stuck with Bernie the chef. And then-- - Oh my God, Bernie the chef. - Lisa Vanderbump has Lydia's Asian lady who like brought her like a tree or something. And then someone gets Rosio. I don't know who. - I love Rosio. She's cute, but yeah, I wanted to hear her talk more. I don't need to hear anybody's like talking about their vagina, but I thought it was funny that how Lisa Rinna was like, what happened to body hair? What's up with all this waxing everybody's doing? And she's talking to three guys who look like they just ripped a bandaid off their entire body. (laughing) It's like nothing else of hair anywhere on them. - I mean, well, they're still like, yeah, I know. - I know, waxing, right? - Yeah, speaking of grooming, I thought it was hilarious how like the morning of the ceremony. Lisa Rinna comes down and Lisa Vanderbump's like, oh, you're looking so glamorous just for breakfast. Meanwhile, Lisa's in full makeup. She's in a bathrobe, sure, but she's in full hair and makeup. And then Pandora comes in and she's like, oh, I'm just wearing my Notre Dame sweatpants and Pandora's in full makeup. I just love these women who like to act that they just rolled out of bed. And they have like three layers of foundation on. They've been in the chair for two hours. - Oh, not only that, but Lisa's wearing a full ball gown under the robe. Lisa Rinna's like, let me see what's under there. It's like this full, it looks like a ball gown from the opening credits, you know, where they have like word diamonds. - No, the jama pants on. - Lisa, look like a full on ball. It looks like a full on bank satin ball gown. - Oh, that was a, that was a, that was a, it was a what's it called, night gown. - Um, and then Lisa's like, well, I just heard a ratty old t-shirt too bad. - Yeah, and the van der pump was like, really, that's sexy. She's, oh, she goes, oh, do you wear any underwear? And Lisa Rinna's like, depends. She literally meant depends. 'Cause you know, she's got a box of that shit sitting for free right beside her bed. - Yeah, she's like, it might as well wear it, even if I'm not gonna crap my pants. Although ironically, the last time I, I talked about this on my other podcast, The Badger Blender back in April, 'cause I was in Palm Springs for dinner that night, same night as the white party, which we'll get you on the euros of Hollywood. I crap my pants that night. (laughs) I did crap my pants. And I do wish I had some depends. - Wow, why don't you poop your pants? - Well, it's a very funny story. And I, I, the, the long and the short of it is that, like, it was unexpected. I thought I was letting out a fart and it was a shirt. And I was like, oh my God. Okay, that's enough. I hate those. I have literally not ever done that in my life. And it happened in Palm Springs. And it was mortifying. And I had to like sneak into a bathroom and throw out my underwear. It was one of the worst experiences, but it was also hilarious. If you want to hear the full sort of all the details, I'm like, who wants to hear a story about these things? You can go to my podcast, The Badger Blender. The episode I think is called the most humiliating thing that's ever happened to me in my life. - That's funny. - So yes, I would have appreciated some depends when I was in Palm Springs and I was shitting while, while Leona was on a stage dancing in metal. - Fuck, I'm famous. - Yeah. - We'll get to that. We'll get to the Euros later. - Okay. - So what else happened on this Beverly Hills show, man? - Kyle came back from Mayorka. Oh, oh, Yolanda. So the whole, there was a whole thing about Yolanda because, you know, Bella, you know, she got to DUI. And, you know, she's like, how could she not realize that my father died in a car accident. And I thought that like Yolanda's response was a little self-serving because I'm not her. - She's like, her DUI is so hard on me. - Yeah, I thought her response should have been more like, I can't believe she did that. She never should have taken the wine in the first place. She shouldn't have been, like, even if she had one glass, she shouldn't have driven. It was irresponsible. She could have imperiled her future. - She really tries to legal limit. So it wasn't one glass. - Yeah, and Yolanda should have said, it's embarrassing. Like, I'm mortified. It's embarrassing to me. It's embarrassing to David. It's embarrassing to all of us. But instead her response was, I'm so sad to her decisions. And doesn't she know, like, I can't deal with that because I already lost someone to a car accident. How could she do that to me? Like, that was the dominant response. - Well, did you read this email that was going around from Yolanda? It started on BlindGossip or whatever.com. It was this really long, of course, terribly spelled and put together email that was from Yolanda, telling off Bella. And like, you, I can't believe you're so spoiled. - Yeah, that's what we wanted to hear and see. - It's gone. It's gone off the damn internet now. Let me see, actually. That's also available maybe here. Let me see if it's here. 'Cause this is really worth reading. And it was posted on her Facebook. But, god damn it, I did not take a screenshot of it. Oh, I found one, okay. I found this one on all about the tea. Do you want to hear it? Or should I just summarize it? 'Cause I think it might be fun to read it. - Okay. - Bella, I just got your car back from the pond. And I was looking for your purse as I stumbled on the most disastrous car I've ever seen in my entire life. And then she, dot, dot, dot, but like 30 times. Now I'm really in tears and really scared. Who are you? What were you thinking? You have literally turned into a spoiled and thankful, unthoughtful, careless human being that is lucky to be alive. What an eye-opening experience to find beer cans, pink little bottles with vodka, bottles with Adderall, Viennese, rolling papers, and a car full of dirty clothes, underwear and blood stains, tampax. I've honestly never seen anything like it. Was your life that terrible at home? I'm at a loss for words. You need to do some serious soul-surging. Bella, to see how you got where you are. And then get on your knees and thank God for still being alive. How can someone as kind, beautiful, and smart like you end up in this kind of a mess? I've really failed as a mother. And that is just the honest truth. How did I trust you were okay? Am I that stupid and naive? Are you that good of a liar? Why Bella? What have I done to deserve this? I'm so freaked out. How are you going to survive in New York? Why am I even working my ass off to get you in a beautiful apartment if you cannot even keep your car clean? Is that how you are going to try your home? If your car looks the way you feel about yourself, you really need professional help. I thought that together we were going to something, something, 'cause you put blind gossip all over it, so I can't read it blind gossip. Fuckin' idiots. Blah, blah, blah. I'm not sure if I have the tools anymore to help you unless you're really understanding what this has come to. I need answers and explanations. Answers and explanations, Bella. Can't read this part. God damn blind gossip. - I have to say, I don't think it's the worst thing. I actually say I'm the worst. - Oh, that's only half. It keeps going on and on and on, and it is just, it is just a mother. - Out of her mind. - Pissed, yeah, of course. Like, no mother's happening when their kid gets a DUI, but I know that she turns around and she minimizes it on the show, like, well, she had a class of one at a friend's house at a party in the summer, and she just went to the gas station, who cares. - That's bullshit. I didn't like that. I didn't like the way she tried to sort of normalize it. It's not, that's not cool. I actually have like a real, real beef with DUIs and drunk driving. I think it's like a terrible, terrible thing. And I think that people, I don't think people treat it seriously anymore. I think it's 'cause it's so commonplace with celebrities that it's like, oh, so-and-so got their DUI. It's like, it should be like something that is taboo. It should be something where it is like, it is up there with saying something racist. I really believe that because you actually are impairing people, innocent people, with your selfish thoughtlessness. And it's a, people die, innocent people die because of this. And families are ruined and lives are shattered. And if you drink and drive, you should be ashamed of yourself to a certain degree. And it's like, and I'm saying this because I just feel like the stigma that's against drunk driving isn't as strong as it used to be like in the 80s. I just feel like it's just, it's becoming a punchline almost. And so I do think that Bella deserves some yelling at it. I don't know if I would say something like, you need to get help like that. Like I wouldn't like belittle her. I would say your punishment is that I'm sticking you in rehab. Even if you don't think you need rehab, that's like, that's what your, I don't know. I don't know anything about parenting. Don't listen to me. But the point is this, I think like Bella should be yelled at for sure. - Yeah, I mean, I think so too. But I mean, I don't think it's really looked down on. It's insanely, if you get a DUI, I mean, you're pretty fucked. - You are fucked. I mean, yeah, I mean, you like, you, I mean, the state makes it hard. Your life is, sucks. You don't, you can't drive for a year. You pay thousands of dollars. You have to go to actually like AA, I think every week, you have to go to meetings. It's like a whole, you are, it is a, it's a big expensive inconvenience. That is absolutely for sure. But I just feel like still people do it and they know better. And I think one of the reasons why they do it, I don't know. I just don't think, I don't know. I just think that it's taken away. - Well, for a kid, I mean, she's 17, right? So Bella, like we all make mistakes. Lord knows I've driven drunk before. I'm not gonna sit here and protect me. - Yeah, I'm not this. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And, you know, something with Yolanda specifically, you know, just two weeks ago, she was telling her kids she didn't even have to go to college 'cause she was pretty enough to be a model. And then when she's saying her kid, you know, she was just drinking at a pot. She was just at a friend's house like you do in the summer on the beach, drinking like every teenager. No, actually, I don't think that every parent just lets their kids drink when they're 17. Do they? Mine sure as hell didn't. I agree that Yolanda's response on the show should have been, it should have been that tone. It should not have been this like, well, it's almost like an awful misunderstanding. It should have been like, I'm mortified. I'm furious at her and we're gonna take care of this. You know, Caroline Manzo, imagine what her response would have been like, oh man, she would have beaten her children to a pulp. - Yeah, she would have slapped him around and have been like, okay, I just put a deposit in your bank account. You know, like she may have yelled more, but I don't think she would have. - Well, I don't think your kids, the truth is I don't think her kids would have gotten a DUI, like knock on wood, let's hope they don't ever, because you know what, say what we always, you know, we talk a lot of shit about the manzo's, but she's actually raised two good kids, even if they haven't gotten their careers together or anything like that. I think she has instilled this, she doesn't spoil them necessarily the same way as, like, Yolanda's like, well, you know, you don't have to go to college, although she did actually say that specifically to her kids. - I love that you said she's raised two good kids. You're just completely leaving Lauren out in the cold. And you're like, well, the fat one, you know, there's the fat one, but the other two guys, I mean-- - Wait, you don't know which one I'm talking about? - Oh, come on, of course I do. - I know which two, of course I do. - Keface, no, although it is funny, 'cause Caroline did say, like, well, they don't have to go to college if they don't want to, they can start a car wash. But you know what I'm saying? There's something a little different than, I don't know, on the one hand, what I like about Yolanda is that I feel like she treats her daughters like they are adults, which I think is cool, and she trusts them, and Bella should not have abused that trust, 'cause I think that's a really nice thing. Like, you know, my parents trusted me, I never had a curfew, you know, I think it's a really great thing, and when a parent can trust their child, but on the other hand, she-- - But on the other hand-- - Yolanda. - She is Yolanda. - I'm sorry, I'm monologuing, I'm sorry listeners. - No, I'm sorry, you're like, here's what I think about drunk driving, kids. - I know, you're hearing way too much of my voice, I'm sorry. - No, no, not at all, I mean, I get it, I just-- - I don't know, I just need more to happen on Beverly Hills, I'm really not loving it. Although, we did see more of Eileen yesterday, still not doing anything, and I just think-- - It's so entertaining, I think. - I think what I'm really starting to love about her is that she doesn't even care. I mean, she's on the show, but she just seems to be like, I'm not gonna make anything up for you, follow me around if you want to. Like, sit here and watch me chewing gum in a chair, being annoyed at some 20-year-old actress, trying to kiss my ass. Like, I'll just sit here visibly annoyed and chomping my gum, you know? I think that that's actually why I'm beginning to like her, and I don't know that she'll ever do anything. I think that most of her story is gonna be her telling her husband to shut the fuck up, and then just like giving people dirty looks, and I'm totally okay with that. - She is, I think she is great. I love, I love, she's funny, and I think she's sort of a dismissive of people. I nearly fell off my couch when she said that she raised her sister's daughter. I was like, this is soap dish, this is so, it's happening. It's her daughter, you know it's her daughter. And she's gonna go on the soap and take over. - That was pretty amazing. I saw that you left that comment on Facebook, and I was like, holy shit, how could I not have picked that up? That's my favorite movie ever, soap dish. - Yeah, basically she's Aunt Celeste, and the niece is Laurie Craven. But I agree, I love it, and she has great delivery, come with delivery, 'cause she always makes a comment, and then she pauses a long time, and it makes a little like, little witticism or whatever. You know, she'll be like, so yes, yes I just had to just sit in the kitchen for three hours, tough me. You know, something like that, you know? - Well, I raped a priest. - Yeah. - That was my best moment. - Yeah. - Yeah, I'm liking her. Who else, Lisa Renee didn't do much. Lisa Vanderpump, we covered Kyle. - Oh, Kim. - Oh, Yolanda, bleh. - Randy had Vivigate Fox on her podcast. - Okay, moving on. - Yeah, so that we're done with that show, right? - All right, let's move on to, why don't we move on, do you want to go to Atlanta or Vanderpump Rules? - Let us go on to Atlanta. I actually didn't write any notes on Atlanta, 'cause I think I was drunk. - Okay, I wrote, "Why be so nasty and so rude?" Meany, "Why be so nasty and so rude "when you can be so blah, blah, blah?" And then like the first scene is Meany being like, "I'm not friends with you, Cynthia. "I never would have done that to you, Cynthia." - What's going on? - You gotta love the editors, that was so funny. - I know, that was great. Well, I guess Usindia and Nini kind of made up for moments. - Oh no, Nini's done with her now. She's gonna just be done with her. You don't get a second. - Listen, not just because Nini's so great. No, you only get one chance. With people in general, you don't get to just do that. I mean, I think Cynthia's completely and 100% totally in the wrong on this. And I am not a Nini fan, but you just decide you're gonna be mad. And Cynthia even admitted it this episode. She's like, "Well, you know, you call Peter a bitch." And she's like, "Yeah, but I apologize." She's like, "Yeah, but then you know, everybody's on Twitter "like, oh, you're just following Nini around "carrying Nini's water, doing whatever Nini wants you to do." And I guess that I just was gonna stand out for myself. Like, you don't get to suddenly be righteously angry because people on Twitter told you to be, "You fucking moron." She never even called Nini or, you know, or did anything. She just started talking about her in interviews. I mean, what a fucking moron, Cynthia, is seriously stupid. - I know, no, I mean, it's hard to say. We had this whole discussion last week. I don't think it's as black and white as that. I get what you're saying. I think you're right. But I also feel like Nini probably wasn't a terrible friend to Cynthia, regardless of this whole bitch comment. Like, she probably was terrible. And Cynthia was kind of like, gosh, like this is just not worth it. I just, I think it's a combination of a few things. I think there probably was a motivation to be like Nini, you know, I feel like you're not being a good friend. And blah, blah, blah. And then have Nini tell her off and stop being your friend. I mean, that's- - She should've, she should've. You know, not everyone has like the presence of mind to be like that. You know, unfortunately, there are weak people. And Cynthia has never proven to be anything but weak. And there are weak people who just sort of like, they, the way they get themselves out of like a friendship or whatever, they sort of handle it passively and wait for that moment when they can hang, they can sort of blame the other person. It's much easier to wait for something like Nini calling Peter a bitch and say, aha, I don't wanna be friends with you than to actually sit down and be like, listen, this friendship's not working out. Like, that's a hard thing to do. - Well, if this whole thing could happen when Nini did call Peter a bitch and whatever. And Cynthia said, you know what? You're disrespectful. You've been disrespectful for a long time. We should just take a break. That's one thing. But just being like, I forgive you and then not. - Yeah. - And then like going in the press and like doing all these interviews, oosh, that's just lame. That's beyond the answer. - I mean, I forget the- - We can message being an asshole. - I asked, forget the chronology of who wants the press first. And I don't even care to look it up. I think, honestly, with a Peter Bitch thing- - Peter was a bitch and he is acting like a bitch. And he's still trying to fight with Nini like a bitch. - He was and is for sure. But that's for us to say as spectators from the internet, like not for a friend necessarily to do that. - Well, but I don't think, I think that if you had a, you know, a girl, I don't know. I don't know what would be a good way. But I think that if you had a boyfriend and we were fighting you and I and the boyfriend got in it and on it, I'd be like, why is your boyfriend fighting? He's not a part of this. He's like, he's not a part of our group. I think that's all Nini was saying. He's acting like a woman. And he was acting like a woman, so. - She was. Although the truth is what Nini called him a bitch about, he was really not being that bad. We've seen Peter really being a bitch. Like we've seen it a million times. And what he confronted Nini about, which was about the charity. And he's telling her basically like, hey, calm down, don't act like you're acting. And she's like, you're a bitch. In that case, he actually wasn't being a bitch in that moment. - He really was. - She was saying you're fighting like a bitch. Like you're coming into this group and fighting like you're one of the bitches. - Yeah, but in that moment, the moment when they were having that fight is because she was being really cold and hostile at Kenya's passive aggressive charity thing, which was a hilarious thing from last season. And Peter was kind of like, it was kind of like, what the hell? This is a charity. Like he shouldn't, it's one of those things where actually, I'm not even gonna say he shouldn't have stepped in because I'm actually going to stand up for Peter, which is shocking and say, he probably thought we're all friends. And I'm like looking out for you and being like, hey, don't act like that. Like, come on, like turn that, essentially saying turn that frown upside down, but not like that. But basically saying like, come on, get over yourself, it's for charity, just stop acting like this. And she's like, you're a bitch. There have been a million times when Peter's been a bitch. I don't think that was one of them. Yeah, but then if they got together and Peter said, I didn't like you calling me a bitch. And she said, well, I don't like you getting involved in women's business. And he said, well, I don't like you, you know, acting like that at a charity. And I think it's rude. Then let's not be friends. Okay, I understand that I get. But just saying everything, my thing isn't about the fact that he was called a bitch. First of all, he is a bitch. And I guess you would have a right to be offended about it. My problem is that you're just holding on to this argument like a month later. Right. Well, I'm using it as an excuse to break up a friendship instead of having a conversation about it. And you're doing it because your husband wants to. And then you say you're making up with some and your husband's like, I don't want you to do that, babe. That's ridiculous, babe. Why are you doing that? I don't want her in my house. That's disgusting. He's acting. Well, I mean, Peter's awful. He is a bitch. That's not me. He's awful. So I'm not going to stand up for me either. But here's the thing. And I'm going to play sort of semi-devil's advocate here, which is that I think what Cynthia is saying is that it's not like, oh, you call Peter a bitch and it's over. It was-- that was the straw that broke the camel's back. I think that's what she was saying. She even said that it's not really about the bitch thing, but that was the camel, the straw that broke the camel's back. And sometimes, even though you can apologize, as Lauren Conrad once famously said, like, I want to forgive you and I want to forget you, like, sure, I will forgive you. But it's kind of like, damage has been done. And you can't just automatically go back to where it's been. And that sounds like that's what happened in this case. So, yes, she may have apologized and, yeah, everything's forgiven, but it's not that things are different now. They're just different. And it went and just continued to go downhill. Yes. Listen, I do not want to-- He's a bitch, and Cynthia is weak, and Peter's a bitch too. And the three of them together and Greg's an idiot, and the four of them together have created a mess for themselves. And that's it. Yeah, they're pretty stupid. All four of them are pretty stupid. At least Greg is hilarious. Greg makes me laugh every episode. This one was hilarious. Well, first, he's looking just tired. I think he's probably been-- Nina's just putting more and more in her purse, because he's getting tired from carrying it or something. Because that guy is just basically staring off into space at this point without a thought in his head, and tell Nina, you know, makes him speak. But I love that he's like, well, be careful now. It's about to blow up. It's like, what do you mean, Greg? Just kidding, like the coffee machine. Oh, yeah, that guy's so funny. Was his stupid toilet coffee mug? Yeah. So annoying. See, that's what I like, actually, you need the most random, like, domestic moments. Yeah. I like Greg. I think he's so funny. I don't like him now. Now, why we got to fight, brother? Whoa. We need a Greg moment like that, where he just goes off. Those are my favorite Greg moments. OK. So that was Cynthia and Nina. Phaedra is-- I don't know why I was noticing the credit so much this week. But Phaedra's is basically one of those selfies that you take with the camera in space, like a space selfie, which we've discussed on the show. I don't know why she's doing that. Yeah. My favorite part about Phaedra is that now she's taking the saying, fix it, Jesus. She did it last week, and I forgot to mention it when she's just like, mmm, fix it, Jesus. And it's just like, I think I want to work that into my repertoire. I was like, mmm, fix it, Jesus. Yeah, Phaedra's getting a lot of-- Phaedra's saying so many little sayings that she's kind of turning into quad with her nonsensical sayings. Like, Derek J is getting sued for stealing weaves or something. And she's like, this isn't the scene of the crime. This is the weave of the crime. That does not even make any sense, Phaedra. I was still laughing, though. I couldn't help it. That was pretty hilarious. So he's getting sued for wigs, for weaves. You know, what's really funny, I'm trying to pull up a post on our Facebook page, Facebook.com, forward slash, watch what crappins. Someone posted a picture of this, which was that Derek J when he came in to see Phaedra about this lawsuit, that he stole someone's nice weave. They showed it close up of his foot in his stiletto. And that foot barely could fit in there. It was overflowing. And it's not like a reference to him being Phaedra or anything. It's just that he can't fit in those shoes. Oh, who it here it is. It was Kristin Feik. She posted it. She said, Derek just shoving his feet in those shoes. And you can see it, his toes are about to fall out. I don't know how this man, he's like, he needs to get his feet bound up, like 1942 China. This is-- you can not fit-- I know it's his thing to wear heels, but he cannot fit in those things. He got changed up his look. Don't put it past him. God, I'm looking over comments on our Facebook. Did you know that Lisa Rinna is getting $450,000? And Eileen Davidson is getting $750,000 for this season. For episode? Oh, for the season. Oh, for the season. No one gets paid that for episode. Breaking news, which is that Sony has made it official, that it has scrapped release plans for the interview. It is not even going to be released now. It's done. Wow. So when you hear our bonus episode and you hear us talking about the future of this movie, our bonus episode is already out of date. It hasn't even been-- I'm kidding. What the hell? The terrorists won. Congratulations, jerks. Here's the official statement. "In light of the decision by the majority of our exhibitors not to show the film the interview, we have decided not to move forward with the plan December 25 theatrical release. We respect and understand our partner's decision. And of course, clearly share their paramount interest in the safety of employees and theatergoers." Oof. I wonder what the budget was like on that movie. I don't know. But like I said, in the bonus episode, I just thought it was a pretty risky move to green light a comedy about assassinating a current world leader, because I think if it were done to America, I think people have been really furious. And on the one hand, I love a ballsy move by a studio, but on the other hand, sometimes it comes back to bite you. OK, we'll screw those guys. So anyway, back to Atlanta. I was trying to come up with a good segue, but I couldn't come up with one. Yeah. How about North Korea watches some of our housewives shows? Let's see how they feel about that. Yeah. I'll be like, oh wait, never mind. American culture is terrible. Show that movie. No one's going to watch it. I don't know. I'm not going to say that doing something about assassinating a current world leader is a good idea. I will say that that guy's a total prick, and he slaughtered like a whole wedding party full of people in his first month in office, and he can guess my ass. Oh, yeah, I'm not saying. I'm just saying, you know, I might have, like, I just-- I might have-- I might not have gone forward with a-- I would have maybe requested maybe make it a fictional country or something, or, you know-- Yeah. Well, there's probably a stupid movie anyway. So bye. So now everybody goes to the into the woods. So maybe they'll make more musicals. Yay. But what if the woods take place in North Korea? Yeah. Kim Jong-il is the Wicked Witch. Oh, my god. What a whimsical portrait. Royal or alert, she dies. No, now they don't guess that movie either. Oh, trust. What about the Hobbit? What about the Hobbit? No, Kim Jong-il is the dragon. No, hobbits canceled. All right, let's get back with this. You know, we still have two more shows. We've already been doing this damn podcast an hour. We are, like, so chatty today. We're ridiculous. Our bonus episode was long. This is going to go long. It's just one of those days. Well, why don't we keep talking then? OK. So I don't know if it's because we're right next to the holiday. We're coming right up on the holidays or what. But we are all over the damn place today. We are a mess. OK, so UPS came a damn game. What did they want now? This time when UPS came, I was expecting it was going to be this I had taken all my spare chains. I had it in a jar, taken it to a coin star, and gotten myself an Amazon gift certificate earlier this week. And so I used it to buy myself some board games because I'm now, like, obsessed with board games. So I thought this was them. But instead, it's a birthday gift, a belated birthday gift, from my mom. And you know what? She sent me. And the whole reason why I'm sharing this is because it refers too early about Top Chef. She sent me-- Depends. Depends. No, she sent me the cookbook, My New Orleans, by John Besh. Wow. I've done Top Chef many times. So I'm like, A, I'm super excited. It's supposed to be an excellent cookbook. And B, it pertains to what we were just talking about, which is like my New Orleans culinary awakening. Thanks, mom. Oh, there you go. Just put some flour in it. That's how I think it's a New Orleans person. I'm like, just put flour in it. Just put-- That's what they put flour in everything. My mom also sent me the standard door book, too. So it's really nice of mom. Guess what my mom's saying to me? Guilt, guilt and pain, OK? Guess what I'm-- that's what I'm getting for Christmas. OK, let's talk-- let's go back to Real Housewives of Atlanta. So before the UPS guy dared to deliver a heartwarming gift from your mother, we were about to talk about Candy and Todd. OK. Oh, yeah. Candy, candy, little candy. They go to the Bronx. Candy is completely grossed out by New York, which I thought was hilarious. Yeah. She's like, see, nah. Raleigh wouldn't like these orders. Oh, there's the big little room. [INAUDIBLE] Uh-huh. Check what's in the pee on the stairway. Boom. See? Now the Bronx is all dirty. So they go to the Bronx to meet mama. What's your name, Todd's mom? Sharon. Sharon. Oh, my goodness. Gracious. The shop. The shop is fun. Since we've last seen Ms. Shed, she has seen the episodes from last year. So last year, when she was fighting with mama Joyce and all that good stuff, she had not seen the episodes. She didn't know that mama Joyce was calling her a pimp in a hoe, right? This is all new information for her as far as the show's concerned. Yeah. So she is pissed. And drunk because she's been sitting at that seafood restaurant for a while. And by the way, I want to go to that restaurant next time. She is a priest. So she just basically tells off candy and gets herself so damn worked up that she has to leave the table. Yeah. Here's the thing. I'm glad. You know why? Because the poor one-- Your mother called me a hoe. I know hoe. Oh, you-- she want to say that to my face. I dare to say to my face. Oh, she don't say that to my face. So I'll put your ass out. I'll put your ass down. Damn, mother, grab me a hoe, your mama. Your mama said it. That's why, man. Oh, I'm mad, dad. Bad, dad. Here's why I'm glad Sharon got this moment. And I know Candy didn't like it, but I'm glad. Because you know what this poor woman-- I don't know what her life story is, but I get the sense she lived a hard life. And here she is, the last year in her life, this crazy old bat goes on TV and says she was a prostitute who's married to a painting and worked the streets and was all sorts of terrible things. This crazy old bat, Mama Joyce, totally besmirches this lady's reputation on national TV. And this is how this woman died, just like a week ago. This is how she died with this crazy old bat saying these nasty things about her. So good for her, good for Sharon. From beyond the grave, getting to tell Mama Joyce, I want to punch her in the face. Like, I'm glad she wasn't polite and like took the high road. I'm glad you got to say those things about Mama Joyce. That time someone did. Yeah, and Candy's whole response. She's like, well, I can't help. Well, my mama says, no, what do you want? Oh, yeah, no, no. She's talking about Mama. Mm-hmm. Ah, that's it. Well, what we was doing was that like, my mama just said, well, she's chirping, chirping, chirping. She's like, like, Mama, Mama, why is it like Mama? I'm like, let's have a ride. So, Candy is no help. But I just don't like that now that Todd's married, he's so, uh, A-type on every little thing. He's like trying to be the little, little boss man and it's so funny, like, marching all around. And it's all like every little thing. You know, it's like, you know, it's like, Honey, I shrunk the kids. Like, I feel like, honey, honey, I shrunk the Todd's. [LAUGHTER] Damn, Candy, you can do whatever you want. I just want to say, this is what I'm trying to say. Candy, this is a little, nah. He has this, like, high pitch, like, nah. See, he doesn't have a high pitch. He does, I listen to it better this week, 'cause you pointed it out. And he does do that. He's like, "Candy." It's sort of like this, Candy. Like, I'm going to show you the real Bronx now, Candy. Nah, you are, we want everybody to know that you're street. Candy, we want, you know, you're part of the hood now, so give her a hot dog so she'll feel part of the hood. Stop whining, Jesus. Yeah, I, listen, I'm not saying that Miss Sharon is an angel because I'm sure she has some skeletons in her closet, but, you know, I just think, like, I'm not going to say-- Look what she said. Call me a hoe. Yeah, I know hoe, you can check my resume. Like, I don't think that people put hoe on their resume, okay? I don't think there are plenty of hoes in human resources now who failed to mention that on their resume. Yeah, I don't think it's that. I don't think that's-- You better look me up on the better business, Beryl Candy. I'm like, I don't think that's going to be predictive text when you sign up on LinkedIn. Like, were you recently a-- [LAUGHTER] I don't think it's-- [LAUGHTER] Like, I don't think that's going to be part of that. That's so funny, shit. Like, you have been endorsed in prostitution. [LAUGHTER] Candy Burrus has endorsed you in working the streets. Hoe. Hoe. LinkedIn, Linked Up. She was drunk. Yeah, she's been-- I'm gone for it. She was. I loved it. God bless her heart. So what else? She'll have Mama Joyce to punch in the face soon. How long can Mama Joyce last? She looks mean as hell. Of course, mean people, I think, live a long time, right? Well, they sure do. They sure do. OK, so let's see what else here. Derek J. Cork case, Greg's shirt. Kenya, can you do anything this week? I'm sure she did. Kenya tried to make us believe that she's-- liked food. Carefree and fun and just laughed the whole time. And she loved her food and had food orgasms because she's a foodie. Meanwhile, this bitch is the one who made a frozen dinner in a pan for a made up boyfriend. And her first episode, so whatever, foodie. Yeah, whatever, foodie, foodie, frotty. She's a frotty. Oh, what about Cynthia going to New York and that evil fashion designer calling her fat? God, what the hell? See, I like-- see, this is-- He's that girl, Samma had a sandwich. Oh, girl, you've been eating. Look at that effer. All right, what is he like, hide or something like that? See, I like that guy because he-- sure, he is definitely sassy and nasty. But I feel like he's also very smart. And I will always appreciate it if it's coming from a smart place. But if it's coming from a vapid place, then I can never appreciate it. But that guy-- if you put that guy onto Fashion Queens, I'd be like, OK, I'm down with that. Because he seems bright. He's not like Miss Lawrence putting on lipstick. I mean, like, oh, she give me what? She give me-- I don't know, it's a terrible impersonation. Terrible, terrible, but you know what I'm saying? Oh. That was my attempt to read. I just find Cynthia to be so not self-aware at all. Like when she's saying, well, in Atlanta, if you look at me, if you look at my body and you look at Atlanta, I'm considered thin. But here, I'm not. I'm like, Cynthia, you're not considered thin in Atlanta, either. OK, I'm almost up, please. And you don't need to be. Like, you've already-- I'm not saying you need to be. I'm not saying to lose weight, you're beautiful. And you're an ex-model. Like, enjoy that money. Go to dinner. You earned it. But please, you're not skinny in Atlanta, either. I don't know. Maybe it's just Atlanta doesn't have people who are telling you to your face, but bitch, please. Yeah. I will say, god, her ex-husband, Leon-- this is named Leon, right? He's still-- he is so hot. He was looking great at that runway. Oh, yeah, that guy's so hot. And she looked beautiful, too, since-- Oh, yeah, I mean, she's giving-- she's always beautiful, even when they're pretty quiet. She just needs to be quiet. OK, so do you have anything else for Real Housewives of Atlanta? No, my Atlanta part of the brain has shut down. Well, I would try losing some weight before you come back here next time. New York doesn't put up with that shit, bam. I will. All of you do that. We are going to end this podcast now. And we are going to have a second episode this week, and we are not being greedy and trying to get more of your subscriber dollars. We're doing it because we are going to be off next week. So we're doing a huge double episode week. This week, the next episode-- the second episode will be coming out Friday afternoon. So come back for that. And we still have our bonus episode, which is-- And we'll-- yeah, we'll still have a bonus episode for that, as well. And again, please go on to patreon.com/watchwhatcrapins to donate, become a subscriber, and find out when all these special events and extra podcasts and all that good stuff are. And we will see you guys tomorrow or tonight, depending on when you're listening to this Thursday, the 18th at-- What time been? Seven? It's at 7pm, 7pm, our Christmas Hangout Party. It's at 7pm, it's a big time. So it's 10pm if you're on the East Coast. We are going to have some fun time, so please come to that. It will be fun time, subscribers. And thank you, everybody, for being so great. And if you don't listen to the second episode, we love you, and we'll talk to you for new years. Yeah, next episode is Vanderpump Rules and Heroes of Hollywood and whatever other crazy tangent might come across our paths. Yeah, and so we'll do that right now. And we will talk to you guys later. Love yous. Bye. Hi, everybody. [MUSIC PLAYING] If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the internet. The folks behind the side show network have launched a new YouTube channel called WaitForIt. It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza Schleisinger, slicing driving friends with it for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there. And I still have a hard time with the last name, Liza. Our very own Owen Benjamin, that's me, takes you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes and much more. You don't have to wait any longer. Just go to youtube.com/waitforaccomedy. There's no need to wait for it anymore, because it's here. And it's funny. And I love you. To the insurance company that's burned me, our time together has come to an end. It's not me, it's you. We both know what I'm talking about. 15 minutes ago, I began courting GEICO. It was just the easiest thing I've done since buttering my biscuit at breakfast. Not only have I saved hundreds of dollars on my car insurance, but also the future tiers you were sure to impose. My heart and my coverage now belong to GEICO. Sincerely, not yours, Tara, in Telluride. GEICO. 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance. If you like Watch what Crap is, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at Wondery.com/survey. In a quiet suburb, a community is shattered by the death of beloved wife and mother. But this tragic loss of life quickly turns into something even darker. Her husband had tried to hire a hitman on the dark web to kill her, and she wasn't the only target. Because buried in the debt to the internet is the kill list, a cache of chilling documents containing names, photos, addresses, and specific instructions for people's murders. This podcast is the true story of how it ended up in a race against time to warn those who lives were in danger. And it turns out convincing a total stranger someone wants them dead is not easy. Follow Kill List on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Kill List and more exhibit to see true crime shows like Morbid early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. Check out Exhibit C in the Wondery app for all your true crime listening.
