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That's audible.com/crapins or text Crapins to 500-500. - So, maybe you've got a great idea for a business and wanna start selling your products or services online. Maybe you're an established business owner looking for new customers, or maybe you're interested in starting a new personal website. No matter who you are, GoDaddy wants to help you succeed online. Right now, GoDaddy is offering a .com domain for just 149 people, 149, okay? Not $149, one dollar and 49, the same. Go to GoDaddy.com and enter promo code WWC149. That is WWC149, to get your $1.49 a .com. Some limitations apply, see website for details. Okay, thank you, bye guys. (upbeat music) ♪ Crapins, what happens when there's so many ♪ ♪ Crapins, what happens when there's so many ♪ ♪ Crapins, what happens when there's so many ♪ ♪ Crapins ♪ - Hey everyone, welcome to Watch What Crapins. The podcast about all the crap we love to talk about on Bravo. I'm Ronnie Karam from Trash Talk TV, and I'm here with Ben Mandelker, beside blog. Hello there, Ben. - Hey Ronnie. - You guys can find all our social media stuff on our website, watchwhatcrapins.com, and you can chat with other listeners and us on our Facebook page at facebook.com/watchwhatcrapins. Please come over there, we're having a lot of fun, we're gonna be reading a lot of your stuff from there today, and also you can subscribe to us for extras like bonus episodes and ringers and Google Hangouts and all that good stuff at patreon.com/watchwhatcrapins. That's patreon, P-A-T-R-E-O-N.com/watchwhatcrapins. - Come subscribe, it's fun, and it's almost Christmas. - And more importantly, it's Thanksgiving, and in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I am very thankful to the people who have already donated and supported and pledged money towards us. It goes a long way, and once we hit $1,000 per episode, we're gonna go up to two full episodes of Watch What Crapins a Week for everyone, so that'll be like, we'll be able to cover even more shows. - Yeah, and as my mother would say, happy birthday, turkeys. - Happy birthday, pilgrims and Indians. - Yeah, Top Chef this week, or last week, I guess, 'cause damn, Top Chef comes out the same day we record, so it's always so great by the time we record to talk about it, but Top Chef was like Indians and pilgrims, like actual Indians and pilgrims, and one of the Indians looked like Francis McDormand and had a really thick Boston accent, which was really funny, but I was like, why are these people eating together? Don't eat anything the pilgrims give you. Have you people learn nothing? - I know, it's like for the quick fire challenge, find a way to make a moose boosh out of smallpox. - Totally, totally. Take this diseased blanket and use it as a placemat for a dish with soup in it. - By the way, I'd like to point out that we are recording live from the Mayflower this week. - Yes, we're at a Thanksgiving. - We didn't have a Mayflower, but Ben went to New York to visit his folks, so he's on the Staten Island ferry. - Yeah, actually, so here's what's kind of amusing about this. I am in New York, I'm at my friend's apartment. My friend just had a baby about a month ago, and my friend has now gone down to the supermarket to get groceries, so I'm actually overseeing a baby as we see. - Overseeing, you can tell how much you ever take care of babies. You don't say overseeing the baby, Ben. (laughing) - She was funny, though. She was like, Ben, are you gonna be here if you have headphones on, but what if it starts crying? What are you gonna do? There's a podcast, Ben. Ben, you're gonna make this? Is it maybe okay, Ben? - She's probably texted you five times. - If it starts to cry during the podcast, it'll be a very interesting bonus episode that we have later. Well, we are gonna record the bonus episode later, and my friend Mishi, she's gonna join us 'cause we're gonna talk about Survivor, and also some other Bravo gossip, but we're gonna talk about Survivor, especially, 'cause she watched it. - Yeah, so that'll be late. So meanwhile, let's talk about who's still surviving on Bravo. - Oh, barely any of my brain cells, that's for sure. - Some of these bitches need to be voted off, and I include the men in that bitches, so don't get all upset over there. - Yeah, I think that's a very good assessment, Ronnie. - All right, what show you wanna watch? I mean, talk about first. - I don't know, should we just start with Beverly Hills since it was on most recently? - Yeah, Beverly Hills was the most recent, so let's do that. - I kind of felt like this episode was a dud, right? Like, nothing happened. - Well, right now they're not hanging out at all, it's just them and their private lives, and I don't need to see Kyle do anything ever privately. Like, what is she even doing on here? She's going to Tahoe, or Lake Tahoe. She's still faking her fear of planes, which she seems to only have every other trip this weekend. She seems to forget that she's got that housewives fear. I don't know. - In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I'm, oh wait, the baby's making noise. - Oh, what did it do? - I think the baby sneezed. - I think that was the baby saying bullshit because it hurt us talking about Kyle's problems. - I know, well, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I'm going to say what I'm thankful for, and I'm thankful for the, oh, the baby's making noises. Can you hear this? - Yeah, but it's talking, right? - I think the baby may be farting. - Listen. - I stopped. - I had to stop, of course. I think the baby may have pooped. It was like, it sounded a little bit like a fart. It looks like it's still asleep, but-- - Oh, God. Of course she leaves you right when the baby poops. Isn't that how it works? She's like, it's pooping time. I'm going to the store, you deal with it. - I did not sign up for pooping, okay? She will change the diaper when she comes back. So anyway, so what I'm saying, every time I say what I'm thankful for, the baby poops, which means the baby's like, "My shit is better than whatever you're about to say." (laughing) So anyway, I'm thankful for the ability to actually recognize bullshit, whether it's coming from a baby or whether it's coming from Kyle's mouth, because I love how Kyle has now spent the episode being like, "I really don't want to spoil Porsche," like, you know, her sisters didn't have what she has, and it's like, it's really important for me that she's not spoiled. And she loads her onto a private plane and gives her everything she wants. Like, Kyle, just 'cause you say you don't want to spoil your child does not mean that you are not spoiling your child, you know? - Yeah, you don't want elbow skin that hangs down to your knees either, but there we go. - Yeah, you know, it's like one of those things where people talk about like, "Oh yeah, I really need to get into shape. "I'm going to get into shape. "That's something that's really important to me." It's not the same as actually going to the gym and getting into shape. - Oh, trust me, I know. You know, if complaining about being fat actually burned calories, I'd probably be Mauricio's size right now, so Kyle's. (laughing) - One of my favorite things about that, one of my favorite things about that, Kyle and Mauricio think that I'm thankful for, is seeing how Mauricio is obviously cheating on Kyle at this point, because-- - That was dope. - Because like, when they're in the bathroom, okay, you know how every housewives show makes a husband sit there and listen to their wife bitch about their friends, because who else are they gonna talk to at home, you know? So they all have the obligatory scene of the husband having to like actually interact about all this stupid shit they don't care about. But Mauricio's beyond even giving a shit. He's like staring at the wall, looking like he wants to murder himself, while Kyle's like, yeah, but then the girls and then Adrian came to the party, and then the other girls were talking to Adrian, and then Lisa was there, and then then then that, and I wonder what happened? And then he's just like, he has that look on his face, like he's dreaming of like transgender trainees, you know, transgender hookers or whatever, while she's blabbing on and on about nothing. (laughing) I'm bending over and like blow drying her hair and getting her long ass hair all over the place. You could just see him making an escape plan, you know? And he's like, this flight is gonna be flown by JFK Junior's pilot, and I'll meet you there. I'm taking a bus. - He's probably the one who started the farest fire up in like Tahoe recently. He's like, I'll just create a lot of smoke and disappear in the middle of it. - I'm sorry, babe, I don't know how your lighter was left. I don't know how your curling iron was left on. - I don't know who did that. - Left it on the bed, that's so crazy. - Sorry babe, I was trying to throw the torch into like Tahoe, and I threw it into the woods instead. Sorry babe, 'cause they live in it. There they go, and they stay in a castle of torches. - And what we just said was way more than Kyle even got this episode, so I was thankful for that. - I was thankful for that too. Yeah, she barely was on it. But Kim certainly had a lot going on, and I'm thankful for more Kim. I'm less thankful for super scripted storylines, like the one that Kim and Brandy had last night. - I actually laughed at that. I'm reading our Facebook page, and people are not loving that either. You seem to all be hating that, but I thought it was really funny. I don't know why, but Kim's just so fucking crazy. I like when Kim just comes on and acts crazy and drunk. That's it, all the stuff last season. I didn't like her last season, 'cause she was too like whiny and blah, blah, and victimy. I hate that, but I love when she's just crazy. - But you know, I like that too, but this was like, they were trying to force the Kim on us. You don't have to come up with a whole ridiculous plan of having her be in a wig, and sitting in the hedges. Kim will be crazy on her own. Just let it happen naturally. - I guess I just believe that Kim is that way. I believe that she has... I believe that we're sisters in the way that we both have wigs in our closets, that are in some bag and totally uncombed, because you know you have to put those things in a fucking washing machine, right? - Wigs? - Yeah, 'cause they're not real hair... Well, unless you have real hair wigs, which she possibly does, but. - I can guarantee my washing machine. So that reminded me of me, 'cause I just did that a few days ago, but I didn't leave the house and spy on anybody, but I was hancing around in them. - See, I feel like if you wanna make Kim's crazy come out, don't give her some wigs until I understand the bushes. What you wanna do is you wanna put her in a situation where she's highly uncomfortable and nervous. So send her to a mixer with a bunch of single professionals and lawyers, you know? The baby's making noise. - What was it saying? - It sounds like Kim. It's just like, "Bye, our friends, your friends?" - I know, did you hear it? There was like a little noise, and the mobile is moving too. - It's talking. - It's talking, and the baby I think is... - I think it's awake, like stirring at the mobile, talking to it. You know how babies do that? - Hi, Chef, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine. - King of light? - King of light, just because you're a dog doesn't mean you can't be my boyfriend. We're gonna be boyfriends like kindergarten boyfriends and girlfriends, we're not gonna do it in the butt. Everything else is great. - Yeah, King of light. - Yeah, there's not much of a difference between this baby's gargling and Kim talking about whatever. You know? - Totally. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I got wings. - But I was going to say those. Send Kim to a place where there's a bunch of single men who are professionals and good looking, and then the crazy will just happen, because then she'll just be like on edge. Remember when she was set up on a date, like season one with Martin of all people? - Yes, yes, yes, yes. - Her wims, she met that guy in the grocery store. - Oh, yes, whoa. Yeah, like, that's-- - I'm not in the chicken aisle, I was like, ♪ Chicken on a low chicken ♪ - Kim's crazy works best when it's set in the context of very normal people and perhaps upstanding people, 'cause then you're like, whoa, she's crazy. But if she's just like with Brandy in the hedges, it's like, oh, okay. Well, I don't buy Brandy being friends with anybody, because Brandy only thinks about herself and she went the Camille grammar route and actually hired employees that are her friends. - Oh my god, and she would have friends to hang out with. That's so sad that like her gay, that rubber-faced gay is her house guest slash-- - Hair stylist. - Oh, ouch. - And she's got like inch long roots, so he's apparently not doing his job. He's basically just living in the garage for free. - It was like sycophant central. - Yeah, pretty sad. - Because no one else can approve of Brandy's shitty attitude all the time. - Yeah, so I'm not believing that she's really hanging out with Kim, A, because she's a total drunk. - And that they love her so much, yeah. - Yeah, she's a total drunk. So if Kim really is, which I don't know that I've ever believed that anyway, but if Kim really is so, that's really difficult to hang around like a fully functioning alcoholic who's probably also doing coke and pills. - Yeah, exactly. And this is the same woman who accused you of doing meth in the bathroom too. - Yeah, exactly, I don't know. I don't get it. If you ever screamed at me at a party with a big, long, fake ponytail like that and put your finger in my face and said, - No, Yolanda, Yolanda. Yolanda. - Like any of the fights these bitches have gotten into. I don't think we could be friends again. I'm not, my feelings would be hurt forever. - Well, and that's why like I would, that's why everything that Lisa said, I'm thankful for Lisa Vanderpump. I think we all are thankful for Lisa Vanderpump except for some of you who do not like her at all. But for me, I'm thankful for her because she, it's like she has some common sense. She's basically like, what Brandi didn't was like betrayal. It was obnoxious and awful. And I just can never be friends with her in the same way again. Like maybe we'll become friendly, but like it's just it's not gonna be the same. And stupid Brandi, you know, it really pissed me off again that she was like, it's just so crazy that like if Kim Richards could forgive me or know that if Adrian Maloof could forgive me, like it's ridiculous that Lisa can't forgive me for this minuscule thing that we did. It's like, it's not up to Lisa to come. Well, actually I think she was asking for an apology or some, either way, it's like, no Brandi, it doesn't work that way. - Yeah, she was like, yeah, I mean, I wrote an Adrian's marriage and she's forgiven me. I mean, Lisa is mad about some stupid comments I made. It's like, no, that was like a year of torture. Now that said, I'm kind of sick listening to Lisa be the victim because first of all, Lisa is no victim and all you have to do is watch Vanderpump Rules to see the other side of Lisa. And that's the side I really like, where she's just funny and bitchy and she doesn't give a crap what anybody thinks. And maybe that's because she's surrounded by people who have to kiss her ass no matter what. But I love that side of her. But this Beverly Hills where she's like, oh, you know, it's having friends who are mean to you. - Yeah, but she mentioned how she was so bullied. She even called it systematic torture or something. Like, but she's systematic. I was worried she was going to say systematic bullying and I was going to have to like go on Twitter and be like, why Lisa, why? - Well, I think that I had a big threat me going on Twitter and being like, why? Why would you do that, Lisa? - It's the biggest, it's a very existential attack. But the thing is that like, I actually didn't feel like Lisa was playing the victim card too hard. You know, it's a sliding scale because everyone played the victim card on these shows. But, you know, I just felt like it was justified. You know, and you know, she, they did come for her and she's basically saying, yeah, like I just won't be friends with her anymore. And she's explaining why. And she's like, you know, it wasn't just like an attack as it's like one after another, after another came for me. And like, that's not cool. So I kind of get it. - I get it, it's just too much. Like, set up already, we get it. We've all seen the show and it's the second episode and you're still talking about it. - I think Brandy is playing the bigger victim card. Here she is, this poor, oh, this poor girl who, you know, she's just like, you know, like, she's just a brat and she knows it. And like Lisa should forgive her. And the fact that Lisa hasn't forgiven her yet, it's just like ridiculous. And it's like, no, no, you don't get to, you don't get to have that entitlement, okay? And you can't hide behind this, like, oh, I get it. I'm a brat, like, you know, I'm impulsive. Like, I bite back, you know, she always does this. I bite back. She has been the first biter many times. - Exactly, that's, yeah, that's exactly right. - No one bit you, you're just kingsly, okay? - Yeah, you've been bit kingsly. He's just eating people, okay? - Yeah, you have like gored a few people and then you've wondered why they've, like, slapped you on the nose and then you bite, and they're like, and so I bit back. It's like, no, maybe game night, okay, game night. Her first season, definitely, she was biting back. She gets all the bite back cred she wants that season. But the next, then it gets murky. - I gotta even remember the whole thing with Adrienne. You know, why did she go after Adrienne, 'cause she said that Adrienne was trying to get-- - She was just pissing with Adrienne. - She was just getting pissy with Adrienne in general, 'cause she was being a bitch and then she got drunk and oh high or wherever they were and they were having some dinner party and they were talking about, everybody was talking about childbirth and like how painful it was and stuff. And Adrienne was like, oh yeah, you know, when I gave birth it was really painful and blah, blah, blah. And then so the different dinner party, Friday was like, that lying bitch didn't even have her babe and you all are so fake. You're just sitting here pretending that she had a baby and letting your lie on national TV and she never even had a baby. It was all surrogate or whatever. Allegedly, we never heard that part, but. - Right, well no, so Brandi, I think Brandi's defense was that Adrienne had called her up separately and was like, let's get drunk on Lisa, let's take down Lisa or something like that. And that's why Brandi aired this dirty laundry. But still at the same time, I mean, the punishment doesn't really fit the crime. If Adrienne did it, that's like fucked up. But then you don't go and like out this major secret or just like, you know, you don't just, what is it, like salt the earth or whatever. You just scorch the earth and then put salt in it. You just let that field grow a little bit. You know, you don't have to go to that extreme, you know? - Yeah, she's pretty awful. Brandi is just a nasty girl. And if she was fun or something, like if she had a fun personality, you know, there's always like bitchy, horrible people that you still like to hang out with. I mean, my friends are friends with me. So, you know, there's like evil people that are kind of fun, but Brandi's just not even fun. She's just horrible. - Yeah, it's painting me to see her spend all this money acting like she's making all this money. Bitch is not making that much money. She's not making as much money to be living how she is. So every time I see that I'm like, her children are gonna be poor. I mean, Bobby Kristina's probably poor now, you know? She was Whitney Houston's daughter. Okay, you can't just be spending your money like that, but that shit away. - Yeah, I don't understand also why she suddenly's, oh wait, hold on, baby is moving. Baby is moving. - What's she doing? - Baby is settled. Everyone, the baby has settled. The baby has settled. I don't understand also why or how she can spend like two seasons, it's been two seasons that she's been on, right? Two seasons, sort of currying our sympathy or that she's a woman who was cheated on by Eddie Cibrian and you know, he did all these old things and I can never trust it. Like I can't trust someone who does that. I can't do this, da, da, da, da. And now she has this guy, JR, who left her again for another woman. He was cheated on her with another woman, which by the way does not speak well, Brandi. And yet here she is going after him and stalking him. It's like, you can't play the, like how are you like fine with this guy, JR, doing to you what Eddie Cibrian did, you know? And you know, then we're supposed to play it off for laughs now. It's like, what are you? Are you the jilted woman who is left by her husband for another woman or are you like silly woman who wants to win back a man from another woman? It's just, everything about just really annoyed me. - Well, from the way that she talks about this guy, she's not making it easy for him 'cause she's always like, well, we're always fighting and then we're fucking. And if, you know, I'm not, and whenever she talks to him, it's like with all this attitude, you know? Like when girls are like really attitudey with the guy to try and turn them on, which I still don't understand how that ever works because that like all run for the damn hills every time. But she doesn't make it easy and she's probably like, oh, it's just fucking, but then when he starts having sex, she's like, oh, but then he's, you know, then she'll play the victim. And then now she's saying, oh, well, I'm gonna steal a back from that skank that he left me for. But then she's calling someone else a man stealer later in the season. So yeah, she's just awful. Like she can't even pinpoint what's so bad about her 'cause there's nothing redeeming about her. There's not one nice thing. She's never done anything for anybody else. She's never been nice for just to be nice. She's never done anything that's not calculated. She's just an awful person. Like she's tried really hard to be a housewife where I mean, now I guess a lot of them do, but a lot of them were just kind of picked because they were, you know, especially on this show, like Kyle Richards, you know, I think already knew a bunch of bravo people and pretty much just picked her friends. - Yeah. - You know, Atlanta, me and you just kind of picked a bunch of people. It's not something that you have, you should try so hard. At least it's like, I mean, Brandy is like the Bobby, New Jersey's Bobby, but on Beverly Hills, just thirsty, too desperate. - She's way too thirsty. - That's great. - On a network full of thirsty people, she is one of the thirstiest. - Yeah, yep. And Brandy usually has really fun people, but she's not one of them. And it's partly our fault 'cause we loved her so much, and I don't mean us this show. I mean, fans in general, who loved her so much in the first year, but that's just that, it just goes to show you, if every housewife is being mean to someone, you'll generally love that person. - Yeah, yeah, exactly. You know, she fell into the trap of so many housewives, which is that she thought she had a little bit more capital with the fans and tried to trade it in to make sort of like a big move and be obnoxious, and she let the fame get to her, basically. You know, she followed in the footsteps of Jill Zaren, and many other people, Nini, people that we really liked at one point, and then just became monsters, and that's what's happened with Brandi. And Brandi seemed totally, she's still pinning herself as a victim through all of it, and it's very frustrating, and I am not thankful for Brandi Glanville. - Yeah, Brandi, so take that, Seca. - Well, someone has posted on our Facebook page, Brandi's still going after Lisa on Twitter. So, so excited to see 'cause it's supposedly in a radar online article, but radar online is offline. So, bad title for your website. - Yeah, Steve, now called radar offline. - Yeah, yeah, exactly, yeah. - Thanks a lot, jerks. - Yeah. - Okay, so what else happened on here? I'm really liking Lisa Rina, I think she's super hoodie. - I'm very curious as to why she has a 25-year-old agent. That seems a little shocking, but, you know, good for her. - I just don't like that she called him hungry when he's so fat, that just seemed rude. What about fat rights? But yeah, she's, 'cause the old agents are just bored, they're just like collecting residuals, and this guy's like, "I'm gonna keep re-famous, girl." - She needs to have someone who basically has no clients, no real clients, and someone who's like young and gay and probably worships the ground she walks on, and he will do anything for her. - This guy has heat miser hair, and he has that annoying laugh that's just gonna agree with everything she says. Everything she says, he's like, "Hey, this is me!" - It's like, yeah, it's freezing in my office, girl. Like, everybody's freezing in there, but the king gets his way. (laughing) - Oh, gross. - I know. I know. (laughing) It's funny, 'cause I was watching this at my parents' house, and my mom sort of, like, bobbed and weaved through the entire thing, but I remember knowing that she was sort of, like, wake up, and at one point, sort of towards the end. You know, 'cause there's always, like, this, like, an hour of, like, absorbing all this stuff, and then my mom can't take it anymore, and leaves, like, makes a withering comment, and how I'm just, she just decides, like, she's gonna go with it, just, it's just, they're all just so out of lessons. She, and she goes, "You know what? "This is the show that should've been called "to rest in development. "This should've been arrested in development." (laughing) And then just went to sleep. - Who goes funny? - I know. - I love that he brought Lisa a script for Scream the Series. - Yeah. She's gonna play the mask with that face. - Oh my God. - Every time she laughs, I'm like, "No, "too much Botox back away from the Botox." Her eyes squint and her mouth opens, but that's pretty much it. - Yeah. By the way, I'd like to announce to everyone that Michelle is back. I am no longer on baby duty. And-- - The baby is still alive. You did it. - The baby is still alive and well. Michelle, the baby, I think the baby, went to the bathroom. I did hear something. And there were a few sort of like little noises, but overall she's still asleep and well. - Okay, thank you so much, Ben. That's very parental and no one of you. - Thank you. Ladies and gentlemen, I passed the baby chest. - You did it. - I did it. - You're free to adopt. - Thank you. - I can now adopt. - I'm gonna give it back to you at some point 'cause I should go get a lunch. You're like two more times. - Oh no. So I will be back on baby duty. Sorry, I may have spoken to you soon. - Temporarily free. - Temporarily. Okay, so we were talking about Lisa. You know, what I don't understand is where is Eileen Davidson? I mean, it sounds like she's finally coming next week. - Yeah, she's coming next week. I wish I would have just brought her early 'cause boring. - Yeah, I have to agree. What did you think about Adrienne Mollouff's scene? - Well, Adrienne Mollouff's scene was fine. She wasn't asking like a total bitch on wheels this year because I guess she, you know, like most of them, you get beat up on Twitter and you come groveling back and acting like you were a nice person that whole time and it was just a bad year. So she pulled that off, I think, and she looked pretty good. But man, when they showed her in that testimonial thing or whatever, what do you call them? Diary rooms on this show? But-- - Confessionals interviews? - Yeah. When they showed her there, wow, Mickey Rourke. Oh my God, that face. What is she doing? - It's always been like that, though, I feel like. It's worse than ever. 'Cause when she was at lunch with Brandy, she looked okay. But then, oof, up close and freshly fillered. - Oof. - Yeah, my parents' TV has this weird thing where like everything's like a little bit overexposed. So maybe that worked in her favor with me. So maybe like, maybe like some of the weirder, rubbery aspects of her face were sort of bleached out by the TV. Yeah, no, it was up close. Here, I'll send you a picture of it right now so you can see it. But yeah, it was scary. So Adrienne Maloof, I think she's dealing with Brandy well 'cause she's not really saying anything except she's nodding and staying far away. She's like staying back and nodding. And that's pretty much all you can do with Brandy. - 'Cause Brandy, of course, Brandy's apology was. It wasn't an apology, it was. I didn't mean to hurt your friend, your family. You know, I just did it 'cause I was friends with Lisa and you guys weren't getting along. - Yeah, and I like that Adrienne in the interview sort of called her out and just like, listen, you know, like you did this, you gotta take accountability. You're trying to pin it on Lisa, it's not Lisa. I'm glad that Adrienne didn't actually fall for the babe. - I got there, got those dogs and babies. I mean, what the hell? - I know, Thanksgiving. It's like the real Thanksgiving. Like my mom's gonna call to see how much Turkey I'm gonna eat tomorrow and make sure I don't go overboard. - Did you see that article in the onion? By the way, this is off topic. There's an article in the onion yesterday that was like, this just in, like news report is that none of the good cousins are coming to Thanksgiving. They're like, it's like the family's like saddened to learn that like Ken and Samantha aren't coming to Thanksgiving, which means none of the good cousins are coming and we're only left with so-and-so who is an introvert and so-and-so who's gonna probably spend the entire time in the kitchen with mom. - Yeah, drunk at Lulu. - But all my cousins are cool, so all the good cousins are at my Thanksgiving tomorrow. - My family's not really talking. None of the Lebanese are talking to each other, so that's over. Lebanese Thanksgiving is dead. Thanks a lot, Lebanese people. - All right. - So, Yolanda, speaking of annoying family members, Yolanda with, okay, they need to get rid of Yolanda and Brandy. I think the rest of them are doing fine. Even Kyle, I think, will eventually be fine because she's a shitster. - Mm-hmm. - But Yolanda, okay, Yolanda's gonna be talking about her child who's going to college. Don't give a fuck. Got not one fuck. - Like, what is she gonna do after the season? This is now like, this is now gonna be the second season in a row of like, oh, my baby is going off to college now. Like, I can't deal with it anymore. - After a year of the tabloids insisting that David has been having an affair and is probably leaving Yolanda, we get the scene of Yolanda in her lingerie trying to seduce her husband, which let's go back to Ramona Singer and Mario Singer, shall we? - Well, and then what's the space David Foster? I forgot what he was saying, but I was just like, oh God, this guy's the biggest bullshitter in the world. - That guy's a douchebag. - Yeah, he's like, oh, you know, he's like, when I see her standing there's just, she's beautiful. I, you know, it's just so lucky to have a woman like her in my life, it's like, please. - He's gross, he's like, wow, babe. Wow, he didn't even say babe. He's just like, wow, that's cute. Wow, what a cute lingerie. I'm so lucky, I'm the luckiest man. (laughs) But I'm going to Shanghai for child sex. Like, get out of here, David Foster. - But I was very jealous of their beach side view from their dining room, that way they're-- - They're only doing that 'cause they can't sell their house, okay. I was reading this article on Stupid House, about them trying to sell that house. It's been appraised at like $13 million. They're trying to sell it for $26 million and they lowered it to like $24 million. - Bit you might sell on that, it's on the freeway. - Did they mention that there is a free bazaar on their property? - Do you want to buy broom skirt? It is on street, it is on our properties. - By the way, we have to talk about the fact that Lisa Vanderpump has a new maid and it's like the same story as Lydia from Melbourne. She's like, "I saw her walking along the street "and I gave her a ride and I decided to hire her." (laughs) It's like, what's with these which women hiring people is directly off the street. - Well, you know, it's hard because there's not like a network necessarily of legal maids. Like one thing I was talking about in the recap is, you know, Lisa knows how to do illegal immigration properly. Like, the good thing about illegal immigration is if you were hiring like American cleaning ladies, the cost of that, like when a maid would cost you as much as a house a year, you can't just have a live in American maid. But you get a legal, you can get like five of them for the price of a haircut. Yeah, Lisa's just like driving down the street being like, get in the car telling. All right, you do the laundry, you make the tea. Rosie, Rosalita, when I need to pinch someone's arm really hard because I'm angry at Brandy, come up here and let me pinch you, you know, like a stress bowl. (laughs) - They should, I could just watch an hour of them bossing around Magdalena. - Magdalena, I could have a tea, then it's like, I don't know her boss. - Magdalena, I'll have a tea also, Magdalena, pardon me Magdalena, could I have a crumpet with a tea, please? - Totally, what's that other, what's that? - It's Rosie, Rosie. - Rosie, Rosie. - Rosie and Magdalena. - Yeah, she's like, Rosie is telling. Could you rub my feet, she's like, no, I don't do feet. She's like, all right, send Magdalena, Magdalena. Magdalena, like, has to do all this stuff. Rosie doesn't want to do. - Yeah, Magdalena like shows up a little trait. (laughs) - Can you see? (laughs) - Let's just have their own sitcom, Row and Mags. (laughs) - Yeah, 'cause Rosie did not look happy that she had to share screen time with Mags. - Well, she's knocking out the hand-me-downs anymore, right? It wasn't the whole thing they gave for like, Rosie, all these like things. Oh, no, they don't give her the things, never mind. Wasn't that like, they were some of those-- - Yeah, they give her a lot of clothes. Lisa was saying she gives her a lot of clothes and she spoiled because Rosie was like, can I have this? And she's like, no, darling. And it's brand new, you know? Wait 'til next season, all right? - And that's really sad because, you know, like, where do jiggies clothes go to? One of them, the garden is probably in like jiggies old tuxes. - It probably goes to the pink dog. You know, the nameless pink dog? - Does, (laughs) - They just call it pink dog? - Yeah, that's like Ken's future old man wig. - Yeah. (laughs) - Like when your head goes blue, I'll be pink, darling. - Lisa gets $1,000 shirts made that have Lisa Vanderpump that look like that fake diamond stitching at Disneyland that they put Minnie Mouse on everything. - I know, I liked, I think Michael Cook wrote on our Facebook page, he's like, oh, how interesting to see that Lisa Vanderpump gets her shirts tailored by Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor. - Totally, she does look like her. (laughs) - Okay, I'm looking for-- - So to my own. - Oh, Ben, Adrian Maloof's face. I'm so using this for the cover today. Yikes, okay. - Do it, Ronnie. I'm seeing what else is here. I think that was pretty much it for Beverly Hills, right? - Yeah, I think we did it, I think we did it. - That's all I wrote, damn. I'm bored of you talking about that stupid show. Brandy, you're boring me, I'm sorry audience if I bored you during that whole thing, but Brandy. - Okay, well, you know what, next week, Eileen Davidson finally makes her appearance and I think we're gonna start kicking into high gear. - Yay, I hope she brings it. - I hear she's gonna turn evil, so I love it. 'Cause she has a good villain on days. - Yeah, and I think that she and Lisa Rina will make for a good TV. - I was looking for new days' clips with her and I found a really good Susan Banks one of her on days of our lives. - Elvis, I'm so scared of that stiffen-o to me. He is me, me, me, me. - Love it. (laughs) - Sounds like Portia, kind of. She does have that fakey voice in those big teeth. You wanna talk about that one next? Okay, here's all the-- - Yes. - Another thing I wrote for Atlanta. I am thankful that Kenya did Shakespeare 'cause that shit was hilarious. - Wait, what was with the Shakespeare from my friends? - She started blaring on about, like, "Thou, who thus does thouest? "Does thou and thus shake spear, honey?" I was like, "Oh, no, Kenya." (both laughing) Now, Kenya knows how to do the victim thing and make it fun. - Because that's exactly. 'Cause Kenya's victimhood is hilarious. - Well, it's so clunky. First of all, there are a few things. It's very clunky. She makes herself a massive victim over very small things. And she-- Yeah, that's pretty much it. I'm thankful for those two reasons. - She's hilarious. And I was really surprised that when Phaedra found out about Apollo lying about Kenya, that Phaedra was like, "Oh, poor Kenya." I know her apology. I was like, "What?" - I know, I was surprised, too. - Because, of course, yes, okay, that was a lie that she was saying that she, whatever, that he was saying they hooked up, whatever, we all know the lie. But Kenya's still an asshole, and she was way before he said that. So I'm confused. - Yeah, no, and I'm imagining that that's probably something that's going to come out maybe next week. 'Cause it looks like Candy gives some sort of apology to Kenya, and then Kenya's like, you know, it looks like she then says to Candy, like, "You can't apologize." And then still throw dirt at me, you know? So I'm assuming that's what the gist of that's going to be like. - What's happening to that baby? - The baby is falling on the refrigerator now. No, Michelle's making it. It looks like some sort of stuffing. She's making chicken nuggets. No, I'm good for now, thank you. But you are making stuffing, too, right? Yeah, yeah. She's making stuffing while I am around. Yeah, I'm right here. It must be interesting for Michelle because she's only hearing one half of this 'cause my headphones are in. So she probably hears me fall into these strange accents. Wait 'til Michelle hears my Candy Bursts accent. It's funny, so last week when we did the podcast, we had a guest on, we had Ira from Buzzfeed. And, you know, I don't know Ira very well. And, you know, I was feeling a little shy to do my Candy Bursts voice. You know, I don't know if you noticed that, Ronnie. But I was a little bit-- - I was shy for you, that's scary. That's a scary one to pull out. Just out of nowhere. - Yeah, it's scary. And, like, you know me, I love to do my strange candy boys. (squeaking) The good thing with Michelle. - That's my impression of your impression. (laughing) - Well, the good thing with Michelle is that she's heard me, she's known me for so long that I could do any, make any weird noises and she'll be okay with it, you know? (laughing) So, if I do my-- - Care of my baby. - Yeah, as long as I take care of the baby, that's the name of the Lifetime movie. As long as he takes care of the baby. - Could you imagine what it was like back in the day before, like, monitors and stuff? They were like, hey, the baby's asleep with the donkey in the other room. (laughing) I guess, you know, if it's still alive when we come back, we'll just thank, you know, Jehosa Fat. - Yeah, it's honestly, it's amazing anyone was able to survive prior to, like, 1995. (laughing) - Totally. There's pictures of me when I'm a baby with, like, my mom's holding me a glass of wine and there's a cigarette dangling from her mouth. (laughing) - I'm surprised there wasn't a cigarette dangling from your mouth. (laughing) Like, it's a pacifier here. - No, it was well. - I have a cigarette, it's a pacifier. (laughing) Michelle O'Shogg. Michelle, I'm talking about how it's amazing that, like, what babies and parents did, like, before the '90s. Michelle-- - Yeah, those sirens, man. Sirens, ever since the Ferguson thing. Even here, we're going crazy. I'm just staying the hell inside, okay? Thanks, that's it. - Yeah, I'm gonna have a peaceful protest, peaceful Ferguson protests, right here in Michelle's apartment. - Okay, I'm gonna go get me a $14 turkey from Trader Joe's and just smell that shit cooked for the next two days. (laughing) - So, anyway, I don't even want to get derailed on Ferguson because that's not because-- - Oh, no, no, we don't have anything to add to that. - And there's no way-- - It's so sad. - There's no way we can talk about Ferguson without probably making everyone mad because it's just such a loaded topic. But anyway, what we can talk about-- - Yeah, it's so sad. - Well, I think Ferguson kind of fits in with Kenya because Kenya's reaction to the smallest thing is turning cars over and starting shit on fire. She's like, "Apollo lied about me. "I'm burning down in Otto's own." - Not to imply that Michael Brown's death was the smallest thing, I think that's-- - No, I'm saying Kenya's reaction is a huge thing to even-- - No, I know. - No, I know, yeah. - I mean that. - Kenya would be demanding, well, imagine Kenya and Aviva, Aviva would be like, "Congratulations, you did it. "You got off the hook." - Where's my banner? - Where's my banner for peacefully protesting? That's what Aviva would say. But anyway, so-- - The world burns down around us and we're like, "What do you think of Atlanta?" - It's the only way to deal with it. - This world is totally messed up right now. And if it weren't for Bravo, you'd have nothing to make us smile. - Yeah, no kidding. - Right? - Amen to that, brother. - Amen, that's why I'm thankful for Bravo. I think we were talking about Kenya. So what can you actually do this episode? I can't remember. - Kenya is friends with Claudia Jordan, so she mostly just backed her up today. - Yeah, Kenya just sort of like spread her filth all over a furniture shop. - More or less, right? - So what do you think of this Claudia Jordan? - I'm on board so far, you know, I would-- - She's gonna be a mess. - Yeah, I like that she sort of has, she has a resting bitch face, and I think her claws are gonna come out soon. - Yeah, she's gonna be pretty bad. I mean, and by that I mean deliciously wonderful. I have high hopes for her. - Yes. - And I love that Portia is already totally threatened by her. - Well, Portia, Portia was out of control. The whole Portia thing, we can just skip right to that, to Portia and Cynthia, you know, because they had to sit down over their fabricated feud. And Cynthia is now all of a sudden a bitch on wheels, but Portia is too, and they were so nasty to each other. It was like the worst example of modern women interacting. - Well, Portia is just a brat, she's like a five-year-old. She has no feelings for anybody else's. - Yeah. - Like, she shows up an hour late and doesn't even say sorry. She's just like, "Hello." - Hello. - Yeah. (laughs) - Cynthia's like, "You're an hour late." She's like, "Oh, okay." - But then Cynthia's like the evil stepmother who's gonna hate you no matter what you say. - Yeah. - So, you know, you've got those two battling it out. Neither one of them has a brain cell between them. And that was just painful to listen to. And also, usually in those shows, they'll go to an empty restaurant or they'll see them in like a private area, but they were in like a Starbucks, basically. - Yeah. - They were like at a Pete's coffee house. - Well, sitting in the middle of the room, surrounded by people, trying not to crack up the whole time. - I know, well, I'm sure it was empty by the time when Cynthia got there. And then by the time Portia got there, she was probably like, "I'm sorry, I was waiting "for the underground railroad and it just did not come." (laughs) - Do you know how hard it is to wait underground? (laughs) - She's like, "I put money on my metro card and everything." "I couldn't even breathe down there. "I wonder how dead people do it." (laughs) - But it was, it was nasty. I mean, Cynthia was being, Cynthia was being totally like, she was not open to anything, perhaps rightfully so. - No, I think what Portia was saying, I think Portia was being a total idiot, but what she was saying was true. Cynthia's acting like their friends, and then she's going off and saying different things in interviews, depending on where her alliances lie. It's like, once she decided her friendship with Nini was over, then she turned against Portia too, without even telling Portia just to do it. You know, Cynthia's a fucking idiot and she's a follower, and she's trying to act like she's got all this, you know, gravitas, suddenly. It's like, "Bitch, please, you're only doing that "'cause Kenya's telling you to." And it's so obvious 'cause you can't even form an argument. And when you're doing it in front of Peter, she's like, "Well, I'm not taking it, Peter." And he's like, "Yo, okay, babe, can I have $20?" And she's like, "Sure, honey." "Shut up, like you're still a wuss, okay?" And those glasses don't make you look smart, and those fillers make you look stupid. You're a model age gracefully, stop it. (laughs) - Five words this, five words that. - Yeah. - Well, either way though, I mean, yeah, I do see that point about, like, Cynthia waffling and everything, but also Portia shouldn't, like, her response should not be to be such a brat about it. She should just take the high road. But, you know, again, this is a woman who thinks the Underground Railroad is an actual MTA system, so she doesn't, I can't even imagine what she thinks the high road is. - Well, Portia's arguments usually end with your feet are ashy, so. (laughs) What are you expect? That was my favorite Portia fight, that first one she got in with Kenya, where she's like, "Okay, bye, ashy." (laughs) - Oh my God, I'm sad that Portia's not a regular cast member because she still is wildly entertaining. - I think that it's good that she's just still gonna be on it, but not be. I don't need to see her at home, sitting in that big cavernous house that she can't afford. Oh, and I love that Cynthia called her out on dating some old man for bags and cars, because that has been the rumor that Portia's been a whore, and now we know where that rumor's coming from. So thanks for clearing that one up. - Yeah, I think that Portia should be a cast member and not Nini. I mean, all Nini did was, like, she showed up at Portia's door, and Portia, like, did this whole, talked about this whole thing. Portia just gossiped, like, crazy about Cynthia's party. And then all I need to do is go, "The thirst is real, child, the thirst is real." Which was funny, it was actually really funny. But like, Nini was doing nothing. Portia was more of a cast member than Nini. Nini was doing the friend of role. - Yeah, she was just rolling her eyes and making, you know, snarky cotton. Nini's pointless. I don't know why we're even dealing with Nini on this show anymore. She needs to go. - Yeah, she definitely needs to go. - If she's so confident in her career, she needs to just go have it and stop taking her million dollars a year from housewives. I think she's at, like, $1.5 million this year or something. - I wouldn't be surprised if they can't her. You know, she's not bringing, she's not doing anything on the show, she's not entertaining, and she's hella expensive. I think that, like, I think her time has come. - How more sirens, what is going on out there? - I'm afraid to go. - Don't go. - Stay inside. - We're probably burning down a whole foods out there. - Yeah, good. - It's about time. - By the way, let's protest those lemons being $5. I don't want to get a zucchini, it was $2. - Okay. - I swear to you, it was $1.70 something. - Jesus, thanks. - Question, did you see, by the way, Lisa Wu on Watch For Crapins, on Watch For Happens? - No. - She was on, on Atlanta, and God, she looks, she looks different in a weird way. She's, like, really aged. So when, I think she was on there with Candy, and so when Andy did, like, a, hey, everyone, like, coming up tonight at 11, we have, we have Candy Burris and Lisa Wu. And I was, like, before he said Lisa Wu, I thought for, I was, like, oh, look, there's, like, Jackie, or, like, pebbles. I thought it was, like, one of the two of them. I was, like, oh, it's Candy with, like, an older black woman. And I'm just gonna, and it sort of looks like Jackie, maybe. 'Cause, you know, like, you know, Lisa is, like, half Asian. So she has, like, the almond shape eyes. And Jackie's from Has That. So I was, like, oh, maybe that's like Jackie. - Wow, it's Pearl from 227. - Wow, it's Marla Gibbs. I think that's Marla Gibbs. This is why Ferguson is a thing, right now. So, and then it was, like, Lisa Wu, I couldn't believe it. And she was, like, all, like, shifts, and she kept on, like, shifting and moving a lot in her seat, it was very strange. - Yeah, Lisa Wu is on some other show now, right? - Yes, Hollywood Divas, Hollywood Divas, yeah. - I haven't seen it, but Lisa Wu's back. - She's, she's back, at last. America has a sigh of love each other. (laughing) - What those brows, Lisa Wu's back. - It's Lisa Wu Wu. - You can go around the neighborhood and stop taking down all those missing signs. - We found her. - Yes, the great drought has come to an end. (laughing) - Pop culture can breathe again. - So, what else happened in Atlanta? - Well, so, so, Todd's daughter, I forget her name. So, she moved in. And so, Candy and Todd sat down, the girl, and Riley, and it was hilarious because Riley, Riley had some mama joys in her, that's for sure. - Oh, my God, yes. - It was honestly, like, Riley. But, you know what, though, I was, I did not disagree with what Riley said, because they were asking this girl, you know, she was 18, she was like, now what's she gonna do? She's like, I guess, no, I'd like to work in fashion, like maybe work in a fashion line, or sort of fashion line. - Yeah, she's like, I want to start my own, I want to start my own fashion line. - Oh wait, I'm back on baby duty, back on baby duty. Everyone, get ready. - We're gonna start a shoe line, made out of baby leather. (laughs) But then, like, I like that, Riley, they're like, can you just like, see, now, Riley, what do you think about it? Riley, and then Riley's like, well, no, it wouldn't be me, because, you know, I'd be in college. (laughs) - So funny, yeah, that was pretty shady, and it's funny how they're both looking at each other, like they just hate each other's cuts already. Come on girls, my favorite part was when she's, when Todd's like, well, what do you guys think about allowance, and Riley's like, ♪ I don't wanna allowance ♪ - And it's like, what, who doesn't want allowance? And she's like, ♪ That'll put a limit on my money ♪ - See, now, Riley, she can like, and go straight in like, (groans) Riley don't want little drama, (groans) don't want no allowance, won't be no allowance. (groans) - I love Riley, I don't care. So far, she's okay, because she hasn't started screaming at people like Mama Joyce yet. - Yeah. - I used to like Mama Joyce too. - Yeah, no, Riley is, no, Riley is an angel. Riley, she's such a lovely girl, and she's so pretty, and she has a good singing voice. Remember that clip? - Yeah, she's so talented. - I'm happy for her, I think Candy is a doll, even if she does indulge her mother too much. - Yeah, well, but that's a little bit of candy too, I think she's great. I don't like drama, don't start none, there won't be none. - Don't start none, won't be none. (groans) - Don't start no drama, I can't do it too long. - What? - I'm afraid I'm gonna wake up the baby. - I've been told, it's like, yeah, babe, I'm gonna be going to LA for a few weeks. She's like, (screams) - See? - See? - See? - See? - No, we're gonna be flying direct. - Stop, see, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. - Oh, Candy, what else happened on this show? Oh, Apollo at the lawyer. - Oh my God, this guy, like the only divorce attorney, all of Atlanta, this guy is a professional liege on this cast at this point. - And really, he's done nothing for the men on this show. I don't know why they keep going to him. Todd never got what he wanted and still got married, and then he sent his friend to him, Todd, why would you do that to your friend? You know he's not good, you Todd, you signed the prenup. That means your lawyer did nothing for you. Why are you sending somebody else to him? - This guy has represented Nini, Portia, Todd, and now Apollo. - Oh my God. But I love Apollo just trying to sound intelligent where he kind of squints his eyes and use what he thinks are big words, and it just doesn't work. - Yeah, but 'cause I'm gonna go to jail and then I need to make sure that my sustenance is still in the substance of the house because, you know, fate was smart, and I love her, but I hate her too, and I gotta know that the sustenance is gonna be available in my itineraries. - He's like, no. There's a lot of, like, therefore, and to the effects of and perpetuity, it's like, well, you know, to the effect that, like, you know, he's like, I'm the man of the household, like in perpetuity, like, therefore, it is, in fact, hence, I need to have to make sure that I am taken care of in perpetuity for the effect that therein I am the father. - He is smart enough to know that he's screwed when he gets out of jail to look, 'cause Faedra ain't giving him shit. He signed a prenup. And unless he's got actual evidence to blackmail her with, which I don't think he's smart enough to even keep, he's screwed, and she's not giving him anything, and he's not gonna get any kind of alimony or anything. - Yeah, and I like how he's sort of saying, like, yeah, when I get out of jail, I'm not gonna have anything, and I'm basically gonna have to resort to a life of crime again. So, dude, why don't you just go to, we're gonna McDonald's, the very least, go to McDonald's. - Yeah, he's like, I'm not gonna go from, what did he say? - He's a chicken holder. - Yeah, he's a chicken holder. - He's a chicken holder. - And working the Starbucks or something. Oh yeah, McDonald's, yeah. - I'm like, guess what? It's Atlanta. Like, I'm sure everyone who's the season taken older in Atlanta is also working at Burger King. - Yeah, just keep working on it. - No one has money down there. - Someone rich who will take care of you. You're hot, okay? You've got the leg up. - Ollie, I'll say he should just go into porn. - He could do that, he probably will. - And he will literally have a leg up. - He will literally, like, I would watch that. - Yeah, I'd watch it once. But you know, he's like one of those guys who would be in porn and they'd be really great at the sex part, but then when you turn up the volume, they'd be like, they'd be making horrible noises. - Oh yeah, Billy, yeah, take it. Yeah, yeah, take it. Oh yeah, doctor. - Oh, did somebody hear a lot of a pizza? Is there a symptom that needs to be repaired? - I'm slowly turning him in to eat his bunker. - Lachi, I got pizza, I got a pizza. - Lachi. - Boy, the way Apollo came over. (laughing) ♪ Got a pizza for some girls ♪ - Then he slapped someone with his dick. - Those were the girls of the boys. - I would like to mention Michelle just walked back in just as I would say. Just as we had a lovely all-in-the-family song about someone getting slapped in the face with their dick. - Oh. - With big wireless providers, what you see is never what you get. Somewhere between the store and your first month's bill, the price you thought you were paying magically skyrockets. 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Additional taxes, fees and restrictions apply, see Mint Mobile for details. - Etsy knows these aren't the sounds of holiday gifting. - Oh, or, okay, thank you. Well, they're not the sounds you're hoping for. You want squeals of delight like this. Ooh, and spontaneously written songs of joy. ♪ I am so happy, oh yeah, oh yeah ♪ To get those, make everyone on your list feel heard with gifts like personalized jewelry, custom artwork, vintage pieces, and home decor for original gifts that say, I get you, Etsy has it. - Baby duty, that's good news. Oh, the baby's making noise, good timing. I think the baby heard the all in the family theme song. - I think the baby heard us walk in. - Yeah. So what else happened on this, I think that was-- - Like, do you stick to a diet if the McDonald's just walked right past you, putting groceries away? - No, never. - Never. - I think that we're done with housewives of Atlanta, ain't we? - Ain't we? Why don't we go on to Vanderpunk Rules? - That shows hilarious. - So good, even when nothing's happening. - Even just reading my notes, which I no longer understand, but beer on the street, threading, nose shirt, dressed up for cable box, panic attack. Even Jax can do that, John Kries, who's John? Was I a trooper? - Was I a trooper? - Could you make me hit T without a panic attack? - So, so funny. - So where do we even begin? I guess one thing was that Jax got a nose job. - I think it's actually-- - And his eyebrows threaded. That whole first scene of the guy's drinking beer that they were pouring for themselves on the street and then getting drunk and going to get their eyebrows threaded is while talking about how one of the girlfriends is emasculating one and the other one's about to get a nose job because of a, what do you call it? - A deviated septum. - Yeah, deviated septum. That was like the best example of the young American male. And Lisa later on in the episode when she's like, I don't understand these American men. They're getting their eyebrows threaded. One of them got a nose job for pure vanity and what was the other thing? - I don't know, but that shit was hilarious and it was a true representation of the modern American male. - Yeah, no, I thought the entire thing was hilarious. I liked Tom micromanaging his eyebrow threading. I liked Jax, by the way, Jax, his surgeon, his plastic surgeon was really hot. Did you notice that guy? He was hot. - Yeah, he was cute. - Hello. - And I loved that the surgeon had a big old honkin nose too. You know, I love surgeons who are confident enough to not be like plastic-faced. They're like, "Ha ha, you're not proud of you. "You're not confident in yourself, but I am. "I don't give a fuck 'cause I'm rich off the money. "You're ugly and it's brought me." - Yay, me! - I liked, well, I felt like a lot of the stuff when he was recovering in his home. I felt like that all felt very staged. Like, I felt like everything was kind of like, it all just felt fake, but I still thought it was funny when Sheena came over and was like, "Ha ha, I write down that." (laughing) - She, she, she, she's not wearing like 10 pounds of makeup too. I mean, she's pretty with her 10 pounds of makeup, but she's like a such a legit, pretty girl. - She is pretty, and she's actually, I mean, she's done some stuff to her face. I don't think it's necessarily surgery, but I think it might be like fillers or this or that. It's like, it's really unnecessary. She didn't have to do that. - Yeah, I think she just got a little carried away that, you know, they just don't understand the time, between getting your Botox and letting it settle. And also fillers. Like, you don't just walk out looking normal. You need to give it a couple of weeks. Like, I think that's Lisa Rinna's thing too. She's like, "I'm gonna be on TV tomorrow. I better go fill up." No, do that two weeks before so you're not numb. - Yeah. - Good Lord. Do I have to teach you people everything? (laughing) - Yeah, I'm trying to remember the things that happened so. - Well, someone on our Facebook was saying, "Jack's has a boner when he's getting operated on and I've rewound it three times to see." And so, of course, I sat there rewinding it to see and I could not find a boner, but I was sitting there like five times. Like, is it a boner? And then I got on my computer and slow mowed it, was like, "Is it a boner?" And then I realized how little I have going on in my life. - I just wanna know, how is it that Jack's, my friends and I were emailing about this, he really has gotten so fat in the face and yet his body is still like fantastic. How does that work? - Fillers, just as face fillers. - Yeah, everybody's getting fillers now. - Yeah. - Except now, I fill my face with good old fashioned cholesterol. - I do it the natural way by eating a lot of them in M's. - Yes, that's the best way. Who gets fillers when you've got junk food? - Yeah, natural fillers. Everybody needs to go back to eating fat. - Yeah. - And M's. - Well, I think that fat is actually, people are, fat is now becoming more accepted as like part of a healthy diet. - Or a lot of the kind I'm talking about. Not Papa John's for Christ's sake. - Yeah, not Papa John's fat. - Oh yeah, mashed sugar is evil. - Yeah, sugar is the bad one then. - I made, I've been on a plan, trying to get myself back in some kind of working order. And last night, I really realized how far I've let this go because I made a cauliflower pizza crust. - Okay, which is basically like a piece of wet sponge. We've garlic powder on it. And I ate it. I was like, this is delicious. So there you go. That's where the world is going. - By the way, Adriana, Adriana, you comment on our Facebook page a lot. And I have no idea how to say your last name. - Great! - Well, it's a great sock, great sock. - Great sock, I think. - Adriana says something. - Adriana says so many like accents. There's like an accent on an E, under an E and then like over a K and around, around an A, I'm like, what the hell? - It's like, it was like a Moticon stangling everywhere. My name is Martini Glass, smiley face, wink, wink. - By the way, I tried to draw, I tried to write Adriana to Moticon on the Facebook page and I messed up, I made a shark. But Adriana says, and I totally thought the same thing. She goes, am I the only one who was surprised Jack's knew what Morgan Stanley is? 'Cause at one point, Tom Schwartz is talking about how he had this panic attack when he was in the middle of his first shift and 30 minutes into his first shift at pump. He didn't know how to use the system, the POS system, the point of sales system. And he just freaked out and left. And so he was like, all nervous about it afterwards. And Jack's is like, listen, you didn't walk out of a job in Morgan Stanley, you walked out of a bartending gig, which was like surprisingly salient of Jack. But I was like, how does Jack's know what Morgan Stanley is? - Wow. - I'm surprised he wasn't like, who's Morgan Stanley, can I date her? - Thank you. - Can I? I'm gonna get a tattoo of Morgan Stanley on my bicep 'cause I'm in love with her. - That's the girl who gave me syphilis. - They just knew we were only in Morgan Stanley. She sends me all these letters in the mail. Like, they're really love letters. It's sort of weird because there are a lot of them are just sort of like a bunch of bunch of numbers, but I think that's sort of like her coat. I think it's like, it's a playful game, you know? - So anyway, I'm gonna go fuck her. - Oh, I love that the friends got him a shirt with his nose on it, his old nose. - Yeah. - Oh, they're also doing this thing on Vanderpump Rules, the Schindler's List thing, which is so funny, where every flashback they show black and white unless someone is wearing pink. - Yeah. - And then they'll show pink 'cause that's like Lisa's color. - Yeah. - I'm like, you guys know that this is from a movie about the Holocaust, right? - Let's see if it looks like we're just a little girl. (laughing) - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. - This shows so many just little fun details. And somebody last week pointed out, and when the opening credits came on this week, I laughed out loud because someone on Facebook pointed out that the opening is all the waiters being so bad that they're all spilling their drinks. - I know, actually, I always think that. I always think it's the funniest thing. They were just like, stop and the machines go flying forward. So did you see that Jennifer Lawrence, Jennifer Lawrence, was at Pump over the weekend? - Yeah, she's a huge braws fan. - Yeah, oh, oh, two things. So she was at Pump and she and her friends tried to, they recreated the Band of Pump Girls opening credits, which I thought was hilarious. So here's my second thing. I think we have to somehow create some sort of movement to get Jennifer Lawrence to come on this podcast. She loves Bravo. Why would she not come on other than the fact that she's an Oscar-winning actress in the top movies in the country? - Well, maybe we'll be casting the J-law movie and we can get her on here. - I say, let's mobilize our listeners and say, listeners, put the pressure on somehow. We have to get Jennifer Lawrence on our show. - I wouldn't even know what to say. I'd be like, "Uh, hi, you're so pretty." (laughing) - I would, I say, listen, someone that we listen, our shows get like somewhere between eight to 10,000 listens per episode. So someone of the 10,000 people, someone who's got to have an in with Jennifer Lawrence, right? Right? (laughing) - Yeah, I mean, you never know. - It's gotta be, right? - I thought this is what you were gonna say to her. I thought you were giving me the pitch to her. You were like J-law, we've got 10,000 people. - No, no, my pitch-- - Who listened to this podcast. If you multiply that by a $15 movie ticket, that's a lot of money for your movie. Will you come on? - Yeah, 'cause I know that the, I know that Mahong J-par-1 underperformed. So, you know, if maybe if you had our help-- - It did? - Well, in the context of Hunger Games, like-- - Well, I'll be there tomorrow, or the day-- - It earned 124 million, as opposed to 150-- - 50's in one weekend. God. - Either way, it's insane. - Either way, I say, let's mobilize the masses. Let's get the people out. - I love her. - Let's get J-law on. - Let's get J-law on. If she comes on here, I'll start crying. I'll be like, Chris Farley, I'll be like, ♪ Remember Hunger Games ♪ ♪ Remember when you were in that movie ♪ - That was so cool. - We can, we can promise her that if she comes on the show, we'll just all sit and cry. We'll just have, we'll just cry. - I'm sure she loves that. - We'll all just cry together. - You know who also went to Sir Lance Bass? Wow, so it's just as impressive. - Oh yeah, looking very dandy in his dapper hair. - And his silent hot husband named Tarzan. Turkey, I thought. - Oh, Turkey, yeah, that's right. - Don't they call him Turkey? - Yeah, I guess they're Turkey, yeah. - His last name is Turkmenistan or Turkestan or Turkasian. - I thought it was Tarzan. - Oh, maybe it is Tarzan. I thought it was Turkey. - Let's look at that. - Either way, well, so Lisa was having dinner with them. And when she was having dinner with them, James, the British bus boy, came by begging for a job again. And so Peter, so James goes up to Peter, he's like, "Oh, I just came here to speak to Lisa. "I wanna talk about getting my job back." And so then Peter goes into Lisa and he's like, "Oh, by the way, I'm starting to interrupt. "But James is here, the fired bus boy is here. "Do you have a moment to talk to him?" She's like, "No, he's a pain in my ass, "but we do need buses." I'm like, "Oh, please." Like, they're so hard to find. I mean, she found a cleaning lady walking up her street. She can't find a bus boy. - Lisa, Lisa is just such an unapologetic bitch on the show, I love it. And I love that James was like, "Well, my parents and Lisa have been friends for years, "and so I'm sure I'll get my job back, "because if not, she'd be quite a monster." And then this is right after Lisa last week was like, "I've met his mother once at a party with something. "He's telling me we're all best friends. "It's not the case. "I barely know his mother." So I love that, at least it doesn't even give a crap that she's hurting some poor ladies' feelings, 'cause you know that lady's horrified and she's... 'Cause they're not as rude, well, they're rude or in a way, I guess, over there, but they also try to pretend they have manners, you know? She's probably like mortified in high society. - Yeah, well, one thing that I really enjoyed with James was that he and Horseface number one were at a gym, sort of hanging out and talking, and they were, again, talking about Tom and Ariana. And I just thought it was funny, because Horseface was like, you know, when I see them, they're just like, they're not even like a real couple. Like, when I see them, they're just like a joke. And I'm like, you realize you're saying this as we're watching you with the 21 year old busboy who claims to be a DJ and drives a BMW, but again, as a busboy. Like, you know, I'm talking about joke relationships. I mean, like, there's just never been anyone who has been the kettle and pot situation as much as Kristen. - Yeah, Kristen needs to kind of go away now. She's served her purpose. - Seriously? - Seriously. - Seriously, Tom. - We don't have to be best friends or anything. I love when Stacey was dared to go over to their table and talk and just totally dissed everybody and then walked away. And then she's like, that went better than I thought. - Ooh, seriously? - Seriously fast. - And then she goes over, she's like, well, you know, like me and Tom, like, Tom, we put it in the past. Like, it's all in the past now, seriously. - What about Stacey pretending that she's like, Jackie Onassis, now that she's not a witter because she's married to her or she's dating a rich person? - Oh my God, I like when she's like, now that I've been away for five months, I realize how awful all these people are. Like, I see it now. I'm like, no, I don't think you actually see it because you're still participating in it and you're still hanging out with him and you're still getting yourself. - And you're still the worst. And you're still the one who wears it. - She's like, why are you even friends with her? Why are you talking to her? I mean, I don't understand you guys. She fucked him, you fucked her, they fucked them. - I mean, this is disgusting and people are crazy. - I wish you would get back to not dressing so matronly. I don't know why that bothers me. It really bothers me when women dress matronly, when they're 24 or 25. Michelle is nodding, yes. Michelle, by the way, is currently eating, I believe, chicken nuggets on the couch and nodding her head at the matronly comment. - Well, it's true, people always act, you know, when you're young, you always want to look older and then when you're older, you always want to look younger. You know, you just can't fucking win. - Right, well, you know, Stossey is, you know, for some reason she's always viewed herself as like a style maven, but I think actually her style is worse this season than it's ever been. - Stossey? - I mean, everything she wears is like... - Well, she started with that mom hair. - Yeah, and she still has that. - And yeah, it's just gone slowly, slowly downhill. - Well, she has all these little blazers. I mean, I feel like a lot of times blazers, now again, I'm someone who actually has very little fashion sense, but I feel like when women wear blazers, it makes them look older, right, Michelle? - I don't have a thought on that, but I think just in general, she's trying to be, she's trying to act like she's 40, but people who are 40 don't want to be 40. So just stop it 'cause you're pissing us off, you know? - Yeah, yeah. And by the way, Michelle says it depends on the context, like in a business context. And of course, in a business context, the blazer is fine, but I think if you're trying to be like young and hip and like Hollywood, I think a blazer is not always the right choice. - No, like girls in Hollywood dress with micro mini short things. And then, you know, like a Lucy through wife beater with a black bra or something. I mean, come on. - Exactly. - If you're not dressed like a whore, you're not doing it right. Where do you think you are, young lady? It's like you saw beauty in the beast on Broadway, so now you think you're cultured? That she's gonna start walking around with a pipe next week. - I don't, I feel like it just makes you look like Bette Midler in the eighties. - Oh my God, Bette Midler calling Ariana Grande a whore is the best thing that happens. - Is that what happens? Is that something that happens? - Well, she's saying, oh honey, you don't have to dress like a whore just to get attention. You're talented. You don't need to be a whore. It's like, bitch, please. You came from the bathhouses making fucking dick jokes. What are you talking about? - I'm all for it. I mean, even though I don't, I don't think that Ariana Grande dresses like a whore, but necessarily, but I think it's, I love when, when people like Bette Midler suddenly try to get into the mix. - Like you're flipping me, sure. - Comment like that. - Bette Midler going up to Ariana Grande is like the most random feud. I'm on Bette Midler's side, no matter what. I'm automatically in Bette Midler's side. Yeah, Michelle just goes, you love her. Like Ben, you might as well just let the audience know that you do love Bette Midler too. - I loved, I loved Bette Midler too, but she was kind of full of shit. Big business was sort of like a turning point in my life. - Oh my God, is a frog's ass water tight? I love big business. I want to do a one man rock opera of big business with different wigs and a mirror. - Do you know, can I tell you something? I very frequently get the musical score of big business in my head. And that was like a score that was never released on CD 'cause it's like generic synthesizer music. There's like the montage music when, when country Bette Midler goes walking down Fifth Avenue because dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah If that's if you perhaps the greatest deal in target history $5 big business that maybe holds up I've watched a few movies from that time recently Just randomly and one of them was troop Beverly Hills does not hold up. I've actually never seen troop Beverly Hills Doesn't work the same. They should remake that with somebody fabulous Are you implying that Shelley long is not fabulous? I thought so at the time? I really liked Shelley long But oh that movie did not hold up. It was like a puppet show no to that movie. No. Yeah, I'm sure Anyway back to back to Bravo Leans. Where were we? Stasis an old lady now. Oh, well, we should talk a little bit about Schwartz Schwartz and his panic attack. Yeah, panic attack is next So yeah, basically he couldn't handle a bartending and I understand that it's like scary and stressful But you know when you're in Hollywood If you are like a bartender and you're doing a bad job You know, it's like it doesn't matter You know like no one does a good job, especially as some are like pump where they're basically there to see Lisa Possibly passed by or can holding jiggy and like drink a gigantic $20 martini Exactly, how hard can it be no one's expecting the service to be good? Did you see or there was an audition to get a fucking job there that she made people take off their shirts for so yeah And if anyone is going into The comp bar and are they want to try one of the specialty cocktails and are expecting anything to taste actually any good That's their fault, you know, like cuz there's no way. I mean like Jax is a bartender there, you know, you Like Tom should not have stressed out about making sure that the cocktail is right and good because it's gonna be crap Even if it was made perfectly. Yeah, and I love that he left because he's well first of all being in the weeds when you're a sir You know, I'm a I used to be a waiter so That's that's terrifying when you're in the weeds and you just want to please people and you can't and everybody hates you And they like hate you to your face like that's harsh to deal with yeah, that's not an easy part of humanity I get it. I would have nightmares, you know Every waiter has nightmares where you have all these tables and you can't get to them and it's just it just doesn't work out They'll go on all night long and I'll wake up still sweaty and terrified so I get it But then I love when his girlfriend is just like oh my god even Jax can do this job She has a point though. I mean Two other people there who cares it's not brain surgery you pour the drink who cares Yeah, exactly it's and the thing is that he's like whoever was ordering from him probably already knew him from TV It was just already happy just to be talking with him if he'd said like hold on a second. I'm sorry It's like my first day or I'm just learning like I'm really really sorry like there's just so many ways around it I remember one time when I was like 13 or 14 I like agreed to be like do you like the code check at my synagogue for some some event There's like some some event happened at my synagogue. I was like, okay. I'll do code check. Oh my god That's terrifying code check was because like all these coats come in all at once and you have to like Hang them up and then like take a thing and give it to people it sounds so simple, but when you have like 100 coats all of a sudden It's like it's really hard and scary and it's like it's terrifying But if you have the fear in your eyes people may get frustrated, but I think they understand there's like empathy that happens You have to you definitely have to have like a certain era of confidence People just don't fuck with you. You know, there's so many There's so much right now about poor people uprising and just They're fed up and they deserve to get paid more and people are like, oh, please those are no skill jobs Why the fuck would you make more money for having no skills and not going to college and then and then but you know what? As someone who's been a low skill worker for a very long time The low skill work is sometimes the hardest fucking thing to do, you know Like you don't really understand how painful working a coat check can be until you've actually had to do it It's scary as hell. Yeah, coat checks like, you know towards the end of the night when people needed to go is fine I mean the only time it gets really scary is if you've like messed up But when it's like a thing when when people everyone ever arrives at once, you know Or if everyone departs at once like valets I feel so bad for valets when like an event lets out and then all of a sudden they have to run back and forth Like that is hard. That's super super hard and difficult Yeah, I mean look at those walmart workers. They just want like $10 I mean, they're not even asking for much and people are like, why would you why would we pay you to work at walmart? That's basically, you know a monkey job And you know, how would you feel if you had to stand there at the entrance and say hi to people all day That just called you a retard and slept you on the back of the head with a banana I wouldn't want to work at walmart either that should look that's just scary. Come on. Yeah Yeah, I feel bad for the work for people just know when i'm banderpump rules I feel bad for the walmart workers when you got trampled tomorrow night because that's gonna happen There will be trampoline black friday. Then we get all those videos. I love black friday riot videos Those are my favorite. Oh, well, I'll talk about it on the bonus But yeah, that's uh that's gonna be pretty amazing and I'm so glad that i'm poor Again this year because I won't have to go out there Yeah, i'm well first of all I mean, doesn't everyone know about amazon like just ordered online I still haven't really quite understood that yet I think a lot of it should just be closed that you're buying out because you have to try that shit on but everything else Yeah, buy online. Yeah, like I can't wait for I can't wait for black friday deals. I um, I mean I don't really have too much to get but I've really gotten into board games over the past few weeks I've got i'm just like this really dorky side of me has come out And i'm hoping to buy find some good deals on board games because board games have gotten expensive They're like 45 dollars. I'm like whoa Yeah Well some some are like more like 30 dollars 25 But like the good ones are like 45 dollars So i'm hoping that they may get like marked down to like 25 or 20 like I have Two games I really want to get and they're expensive and i'm like You know, i'm i'm poor. I'm like driving uber I can't just like drop 45 dollars on a board game even though I already have Yeah, that's a lot You know, but i'm not going to like stupid game It's fine for one game, but I don't want to get in the habit of you know over and over and over again But um, anyway, uh, should we move on to eurose of hollywood? Well, we have a couple more things. Oh by only um Why does jackson have a dildo in his bed? Oh, I think they gave him the drill dressed you know, they gave it to him as a as a present Who did his friends? Yeah, it's like a joke because it's like the whole thing is that when someone's passed out They draw a penis on their face so since they didn't do that they got him a dildo You know Very high-minded group. I was like, well, what is he doing? Because that's how i'm laid down and then pull out a dildo and i was like, oh, oh no Um, and then i just wrote i love lisa making fun of tom for having a panic attack I guess that is it darn it. I felt like there was so much more That was there was there's i mean, there's so well they got into a big fight at the okay um, magazine party that was a party that I was actually supposed to go to with katie katie went to that party and uh And she invited me and I just I couldn't make it and I was so bummed because she said like she had been tipped off that like The van der pump kit van der pump rules kids would be there and that like um christen and And james would be there and no one knew and there's gonna be a surprise But I actually so so in anticipation of this episode I had a lot of foam. Oh, because I was like, oh, no This is the the party didn't get to go to if they have a big fight I'm gonna be so mad that I missed it, but I think it was it was pretty tame Yeah, it looks stupid So stupid and it's like stassie says those Those sponsored hollywood parties. It's like the same d list people go over and over just drink Oh, yeah, like congratulate each other for being on tv or something. I know seriously seriously seriously tom seriously seriously So last but definitely not least are the euros of hollywood Of hollywood. I just love this show I I wonder if anyone's watching it probably not, but I love it everyone hates this show But i'm laughing so much at this show and when mausimo booked an acting job I almost started crying because he was so cute Yeah, you know mausimo seems so so sweet and so nice I've achieved the american dream He's like I I know have a I have a role in a movie. I'm so happy now like I have finally achieved the stardom and it's like some cheap like Direct to dvd movie shot in romania where he's like a Killer of some sort. He's called the handler. He's like, no, my name is handler And I would like to tell all of the children out there You can do it too. Just keep trying like oh, no girl. You're like an extra You need to you need to save the speech, but it was still so cute when he was crying now You know because I get it too, you know, uh, like You know being a writer, you know being up for gigs like when you do finally land something It's just it's like this amazing feeling and i've a lot of friends who are actors And you know they you know actors especially actors go through so much rejection So, you know, I was happy for me even if it is some stupid job like whatever job is a job sweet Yeah, it's a sweet guy. I do like massimo and I like his friendship with fawny For fawny funny. He's like you go over my lines with me and she's like, okay She's like I could go over the lines because the lines are my life She's like please stop the speeding There's no no reason for speeding In australian in australian we do not speak I have been artist on my life I've been artist on my life And I have 500 fine things and I write poetry and journal entry on them These ones say my tummy hurt Tum, tum, tum, tum, tum. Oh tummy Stop speaking My mother was a ballerina and so I feel like it is very nurtured the art in me and my life my life My life I noticed that was the word that she says that sounds like british almost like like like uh, like what's it called? Like low class british cognate. Yeah, she's like, this is my life This is this is you. This is my life. Please stop speeding on my act I was impressed that she's actually got that much art. I mean, she hasn't she's actually been doing it forever Yeah, it's pretty good. Yeah, I mean, it's like it may not necessarily be myself, but it wasn't just like It wasn't like on real houses at melbourne when they just like put a bunch of paint on a canvas and then said, oh, well look at this This is odd now this the hers was looked there was artistry behind it and skill. Yeah, we have agreed. I was actually shocked I know I was impressed Um, so funny. Yeah, it funny basically just had her art and then oh and then she made up a bleonna But we have to talk about bleonna for a second. Okay, so um Here's the thing with the on it She is claiming that she's 29 years old and oh my god girl, please You know, I know major girl, please major girl, please because All right, first of all, I don't know if any 29 year old that dresses like a 55 year old the way she does Every if you want to talk about dressing majorly. I mean she makes stassi Look like a like a harlot. She she is wearing these little blazers and like old lady clothing And then her apartment is like full of these kind of like antiquated old world picture frames and like teapots It's like so not a 29 year old pop star. It's ridiculous Um Just I've I just looked her up and on wikipedia. It says she was born in 1979 No, no, no Bliana is not younger than Bliana is not 29. Well, this is this is she would be 35 But still I'm not believing that I'm guessing like 39 or 40. Oh definitely 39 Definitely not No, oh wait, so I thought I was about to get some some special information about and but i'm not i'm not getting it Um, yeah, I think she I think she looks good for her age But not if it's 29 if it's if she's 29 she looks terrible for age, but otherwise she looks really good for her age Oh my god, you guys do yourself a favor Yes, and do an image search of bliana. Just just put in flayona and do an image search and look Look at this craziness. This is crazy. I'm like you're up right now Oh my god, okay one of them She's wearing like a skin type c through white glittery thing that goes down to her vajaj And her booger all out actually there's a there's a the second picture of her is not bad that I see she sort of has um She sort of has a like a fake tan going on. Yeah with the blue sparkly top. Yeah, she's yeah I mean she's a beautiful woman. I think she is, but she's not 29 at all I also think something's up with her hair. I you know I'm always low to really go into the way people truly look on this podcast, but I have to say I think she's had like um hair plugs. Is that strange for me to say? Hair plugs Look at her hairline Just look, you know, it's sort of I don't know I could be mad. It is kind of weird like it's kind of fuzzy around the line It's just like I've noticed all season Someone actually that I watched with said like their first instinct was to say that actually her hair probably started lower and she got it like Laser up, but I think it's the other way because I noticed in this past episode that there just seemed to be like this weird like Thinnness where her hairline starts and then like it goes in like an inch and then it's only gets thick, you know So that's why I'm like staring at all these pictures of her hairline. It's just like it's it just looks something looks Aright. She's also these images. She's definitely definitely not 29. I mean, it's just Yeah, some of these like this president this picture with her and LBJ Yeah, I was about to say I think she was 29 then This picture of her guessing on Gilligan's island make you really wondering if she's 29 Wow a tin type. I didn't know those were on Google images I think oh my god. She was one of the disciples Yes, look at her in Roman times Oh my god. Here's one of her stabbing Caesar. Wow. Yep 29. It is. Yeah. Um, yeah Yeah, so she's A mess, but you gotta hand it to her. She she is narcissistic and ballsy enough To just walk into the amaze Wearing that when nobody knows who the hell she is and now everybody knows who she is It's true. She's actually I mean She has she actually made like a small little ripple pun intended Uh in pop culture because she was considered the worst dressed at the american music awards I mean because she wore if you haven't seen it she wore just A fishnet dress with pasties in a thong and it looked terrible. It looked terrible But it did actually what she wanted which is that it put her on the radar because no one knows who she is Well, a lot of people gross ass Frankie grandi with his painted on shirt And he's like his he's does the exact same big brother pose where his mouth is wide open and he's doing a double peace sign Yeah, he also grows The two of them were ranked as the worst dress and I think it's it's just funny that they're also both totally inseparable Yeah, I desperate Oh, I mean talk about thirsty most of you want to list None of we we we were talking about thirsty people all episode. None of the thirst compares to these two This is frank. I mean Frankie's the thirst of them all he has been walking through the desert and he is Yeah Oh, frankle god bless his little heart little nipples Um bless his little nipples Blyanna though, uh She just she just drives me up, but you know what though. I have to say Blyanna's mom If she didn't have like old lady here, she would be a total fox She is beautiful that woman Well, yeah, look she produced a beautiful daughter. I mean look I know that she's beautiful and she's apparently hardworking So you can I can't hate on her too much because at least she's out there like doing something She's just so ridiculous and I guess I guess you learn almost Living here that that's a good thing. It's so fucking backwards, but Someone's like you learn to appreciate that in a person. You're like you're a piece of shit. Wow Good job But you know, she's also kind of stupid because you know her her lead off single if you mentioned on this show before Is fuck you. I'm famous, which is such an obnoxious. It's an obnoxious uh Song title. It's an obnoxious thing to sing about like it's really really awful So the fact that she is trying to parlay this anime attention into this single is a real misstep I think from her like she should have had if she was gonna do this she should have had A hit song lined up and she did not do that Well, I think that's what she thinks is her hit song because someone just posted on facebook They heard it today on the radio. No, so they're wait. No Oh, well, that doesn't count that was what they listened to the albanian pop station Fuck you i'm famous They're listening to like the the same station that russian restaurants use I'm looking to see Who said that? God, there's so many comments and facebook added this reply button Yeah, which now i'm so I'm glad they did it Yeah, it's also so freaking confusing because I can't tell what's new Yeah, damn you people Damn it. Um, so let's see. So what else happened? So the big thing was that fanny and blayanna did bury the hatches sort of because uh such as like So, you know, i'm having a birthday party. Okay, i'm having a birthday party and people are flying in my my my partners are flying in Okay from germany. So like I don't want any of this bad energy. I just want to have good energy and good times Okay, so I think it's very important for you to bury a hatchet. Okay, that is what we have to do here Cat fight at my party at my party. They're going to be people who will be dancing in tiny little cages Yeah Yeah, I like this They're like, okay, so this is this is the cage. It's like six inches high There's no room for beautiful lady to dance in there. Look at look at that. That is the cage of a midget Yeah, and that's true. Like what are they building a dog crate? Like what is a what they're like? Oh, that would be great. There'll be woman in there not able to move or leave Like what the hell is this? Sons of anarchy. Jesus. I know and they're like, i'm going to have my birthday party at sob This is one of the best restaurants in the city I love when i love when europeans like sort of awkwardly use the phrase This is you know, like instead of saying, you know, I think normal english It's not that it's incorrect but sort of fluent people would say like, oh, it's one of the best restaurants in the city Which is not but it's like, oh, you know, this is Yeah, I don't think i've ever heard that before I love when europeans say that serves the best restaurant in the city Only people only foreigners on bravo think that sir is the best restaurant in the city This is this is this is the best restaurant in the city. This is like it. This is expensive place This is you know, they have like tuna tartar and also burritos, you know, this is a good restaurant And you know when you have a brand in america It's very important to show people that you are doing so well And you know, that's what we're going to do meanwhile his shop like his clothes Yeah, you know someone posted it on our facebook His shop It's so sad like this is nothing i'm laughing with his clothes because that's so sad But i know i actually use that money. I know i know i actually like sasha so much I actually think he seems like he seems like a really good egg and like funny And he seems like someone fun to be around and he's also good looking which is most important Yeah, of course. You you put those backwards. Yeah Sasha, he's like a good looking man, you know, like and that's what it's for the energy he wants to have at his party But no, but no wife and children. Okay. You have to distract themselves. We don't think about them really good night. I love that That lunch where leon is like hello there. What can I do for you funny? How can I make you how can I help you in your music career? What you know, I just want to do something wonderful for you and finding say, you know, you're unlikeable person And I don't like you you're horrible. Why aren't you so ugly and disgusting? She's like, i'm not dealing with this I know that was just like see how do i deal with this? She's like, you know, I have a very easy going person and you know for you. I find it difficult to like you In my life my life. I like a lot of people, but you are someone who's very difficult for me to like You are so disgusting disgusting But now they've of course turned it all around on Isabel Isabel, which is Well, it's sort of just it's in a way. It's sort of well They okay all three of them have exaggerated well actually maybe not fawny so much I think that when fawny Said like, you know Isabelle. I don't see you as someone having a facade in your life You know like I think she was trying to be like, you know It's hard for me to imagine you being friends with leona because it's gonna seem super fake Whatever i'm still inappropriate for her to say, but in Isabella Or Isabelle whatever her name is She kind of exaggerated at all to beliana and then beliana exaggerated her response So I think the two of them are kind of both of all but i'm glad that they're turning on Isabella. That'll be fun Oh, yeah, cuz Isabelle is horrible. Yeah, she's like No, I was one of those angeles who's just like living off the fame of her husband and like bragging about it And I don't like that she's like we're sort of the brad and angelina of sweden except I'm not the angel leader. And he's not the brad. We are like the damming to veto and re-approving Of sweden. We're not even happy because they have like good careers. We are the harry harman elisa reina of sweden Well, i'm trying to think of who they would be. We are like the stassi But I like that um one thing is about is learned to do is to say halleel Like an la girl because la girls always they have this weird accent and even if they're not born here They eventually get this accent where they say thank you or halleel And I love that she's she does that now. She's like halleel Oh my god, if you could only hear some of the girls they get into my uber They're like can you take me to melrose? If i'm from callee, i'm tired Rondo It's really important. Please call me about a saps and i call her and what what's wrong today My iphone's not working right. What do i do? Okay, what is this? Oh, oh, oh speak of euros of hollywood. Michelle just handed me a what's it called again? A faffenus uh That's from no big. This is something that's for me like eating austria. I like a faffenugant In all in all her life. Not her lawyers. She likes to go to she likes to go to none bigger and really to austria I have a faffen bigger Oh, I used to paint while I ate faffenuga and then my husband told me not to paint But to single I ate faffenuga and then I did it and I chalked on it and now I only paint I made many paintings about faffenuga This painting has a general entry written on it about my thoughts on faffenuga So there I am going to do I should think about faffenusa I'm going to black and white faffenusa in the left panel Blue and red in the middle panel and green and pink in the right pattern all with faffenusa Michelle is so confused right now. She's looking at me like She's like, I'd rather have my baby crying right now She's like, I wish I just left you here with my baby I don't know what it's trying to do your ever person Start turning into an Asian lady the more we do that funny I love doing the funny impersonation That's one of my most favorite accents in all my life All right, well, I think that'll bring us to the end of our lovely Thanksgiving episode I'm thankful for fawnee that little turkey Yes, and I'm thankful that we didn't talk about Yannick because his storyline is born I want to be bottled in my own thing. I liked it as girlfriend's like, no, that's horrible You look disgusting. That's awful gross. You're old you eighties That's spoken like a girl who wants a raise But you have to listen to the american girls because they are american and they won't have sex with you if they don't like you Um and remember that audience. Okay, that's your free advice for thanksgiving free advice So So I am I'm thankful for you ronnie for being a wonderful co-host and for the audience for being a wonderful audience And for everyone who supported us on patreon, it's really awesome We're going to record a bonus episode after this So if you have supported us on patreon, you can actually hear the episode And we've actually been having a lot of fun on these episodes these bonus episodes because we just sort of we talk about some bravo things But we just kind of like shoot the shit, you know um And uh and we're gonna talk about survivor, which will be good and some other things heck yeah And then we also have a show at the improv coming up january 25th So um if you are in the le area at the hot it's gonna be the hollywood improv mark your calendars It's gonna be really cool and we want to fill some seats And if you want to fly in well, then you better book your ticket so that way it's not expensive for you Oh my god. If a lot of people fly in we have to have a big party somewhere and all hang out Yeah, well, i'll be we definitely have to maybe we'll do it at sir Oh my goal Or do we not oh my god for me. I don't think we want to subject our poor listeners to that That place um But either way, uh I am thankful for many things including this podcast. Yeah, thank you. Thanks a lot everybody come onto our facebook page facebook.com/watch what crappins to talk crap with this Uh patreon.com/watch what crappins to subscribe and find some extras And all of our social media links you can find on watch at crappins.com Also, i'm doing full recaps of real housewives at Beverly Hills all season long so come to trash talk tv to find those Yeah, never me. Yeah, and by the way people come listen to my other podcast the banter blender I haven't done an episode in about two weeks or so. I'll try to get one in after Thanksgiving But um, it's just like a fun Fun pop culture podcast or just it's usually just my friends. Although a few weeks ago I had Ryan Cabrera on as my guest and incidentally that's my lowest ranked podcast in like a year Really like ratings wise or what? Yeah ratings wise. I'm like, oh good I finally have like a minor celebrity on my podcast and no one cared and no one listens Oh, that sucks. Did he retweet and all that good stuff? He did not so oh you see the what's the point? What's the point? What is the point and it was really embarrassing because I showed up to his place and it was like hot out so I was like sweating Because I did it in person and so I was like sweating and I didn't want him to think that I was nervous to be interviewing him Because it's Ryan Cabrera But uh, I was afraid that he would think I was like nervous of him or star strong He was super nice though, but i'm just saying I felt embarrassed for myself. Oh anyway I don't even know who that is if that makes you feel better. Well, I'm thankful for Ryan Cabrera Well, I'm thankful for you sweating. I'm thankful for my sweat too because it's part of the body's regulatory system. So anyway, um Man, yeah, thanks everyone for listening and have a wonderful Thanksgiving. Bye everybody. Bye If you like listening to comedy try watching it on the internet The folks behind the side show network have launched a new youtube channel called wait for it It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts taught glass lies a slice finger Slicing drab and friends with it for 10 years One of the funniest people out there and I still have a hard time with the last name liza our very own own benjamin. That's me Takes you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes and much more You don't have to wait any longer just go to youtube.com slash wait for it comedy There's no need to wait for it anymore Because it's here and it's funny and I love you On monday josh live argar made a status piece of a monday's followed by a frowny face It got one like and five comments including dislike Well josh geico also wants to make a comment to turn that emojis frown upside down in just 15 minutes You could save hundreds of dollars on your car insurance by switching to geico with all that extra dough Why not give monday a makeover? We see an office party in your future Hosted by you hashtag happy face hashtag saving sky go 15 minutes could save you 15 percent or more on car insurance If you like watch what crappins you can listen ad-free right now By joining wonderie plus in the wonderie app or on apple podcast prime members can listen ad-free on amazon music Before you go tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wonderie dot com slash survey Have you ever wondered who created that bottle of sriracha that's living in your fridge or why nearly every house in america has at least One game of monopoly introducing the best idea yet a brand new podcast from wonderie and t-boy About the surprising origin stories of the products you're obsessed with and the bolder risk takers who brought them to life Like did you know that super mario the best selling video game character of all time? 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