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(upbeat music) ♪ Happy, happy, happy, happy ♪ ♪ Happy, happy, happy ♪ ♪ Happy, happy, happy ♪ ♪ Happy, happy, happy ♪ ♪ Happy, happy, happy ♪ ♪ Happy, happy, happy ♪ ♪ Happy, happy, happy ♪ ♪ Happy, happy, happy ♪ ♪ Happy, happy, happy ♪ ♪ Happy, happy, happy ♪ ♪ Happy, happy, happy ♪ ♪ Happy, happy, happy ♪ ♪ Happy, happy, happy ♪ - Hey everyone, welcome to Watch More Crapin's a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we love. I'm Ben Mantleker from BsideBlog.com. Joining me as always is Ronnie Karam from TrashTalkTV.com. Hey Ronnie. - Well, hello, Ben. - Oh, hello, Ronnie. How's it going? - Good, I'm so excited to have a guest. - I know, well, spoiler alert, we have a guest. And ladies and gentlemen, why don't we introduce him? Joining us, a staff writer from Buzzfeed is Ira Madison III. Hey Ira. - Hi guys. - Welcome to the show. Yes, that's Ronnie, I'll clap too. I'll clap for that also. So actually, Ira and I just met, what was it like a week ago, two weeks ago? - Yeah, a couple weeks ago. At none other than pump. So very thematically on point. - Oh my God, Rika is by one of those gigantic potters. - Yes, I don't think there's a way to not be near one of those gigantic potters. It's like nothing but overgrown topiaries in that place. - And like, wow, it smells like manure. - It's like a Greek looking architecture. - Yeah, it's like, sir is sort of like the strange pan Asian thing and pump is more like pseudo-grecian like things. It looks like the set from that teen movie get over it when they did mid-summer. You know, I don't know if I saw it get over it, but I believe it. And I like that they did mid-summer on that. - Did you guys meet through friends or were you just tapping to start talking to each other? - No, we have a mutual friend, Julian. And Julian actually invited us both to drink some pump 'cause he knew we would hit it off and talk about Bravo a lot. - Nice and he did. - And here we are. - And here we are. - We've made it. So anyway, so you can follow us, by the way, on Facebook, facebook.com/watchworkrapins. You can follow all our social media at watchworkrapins.com. And of course, you can be a supporter of this podcast by going to patreon.com/watchworkrapins. That's patreon spelled P-A-T-R-E-O-N. And you know, you can get access to bonus episodes, live hangouts. We had a hangout last week, super fun, ringtones. We just did our bonus episode. We talked about Willow and Jigden Smith. It was a lot of fun. - I could talk about that this whole episode too, if we want this. - I know. My prime energy is at an all-time high. - I'm breathing out of my stomach, you guys. - So anyway, so go follow us on that and support us if you can and be great. And then today we have a lot of shows to talk about. We are gonna talk about Real Housewives of Atlanta, talk about Vanderpump Rules, get a little top chef in there. We'll get some Euros of Hollywood. And of course, the return of Beverly Hills. Should we just start right there? - Sure, yeah, that's a big one. - So what did everyone think? Season premiere. Are we back on track? - Okay, Ira, but everyone already knows what we think about all these fools. So what teams are you on? All right, what teams do you follow within the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills branch? - My main question was where's Eileen Davidson? - Yes, they're saving her. - Yeah, yeah. - Because I actually stopped watching halfway through last season because I was so bored. And then I came back for the finale and the reunion. And I was like, Eileen's joining the show. I love her from days of our lives. I tuned in and she wasn't there. - No, I know. - I think there didn't even come to the white party. - Yeah, which is crazy 'cause the white party is only the biggest, most exclusive party in all of Los Angeles. - Everybody's talking about it. I mean, it started out so small and now boom. Everybody here wants to come. Was there anybody famous at that white party? - Yeah, well, Lisa, we're not. Harry Hamlin, listen, it's gotten so big they have to get a second fat burger van there now. There's not enough fat burger for that white party. - It was just really weird that they had fat burger there when they probably should have had in and out. - Well, actually, the reason why they have fat burger is because I think Kyle's daughter is engaged or got married to the fat burger heir. - Oh, of course. - So that's like a symbol of their new found richness. That's not just a burger, okay? That's like Kyle's new claim to fame. - The fat burger dynasty. - Yeah, her, I feel like her daughter's engagement ring was probably just like a pickle with a hole in it. (laughing) Just slide around. - It's like a curly fry. - So if I have to pick a team, Lisa, obviously, I'm always-- - Lisa Vanderpump. - I'm always team Lisa Vanderpump. - Yes. - And team Lisa Renna, actually, she hasn't cost any drama yet, but I love her. - Yeah. - From Days of Realize as well. So I will be team Vanderpump, Renna, and Davidson. - Yes. - This season. - Do we, are Lisa and Eileen Davidson, are they gonna be allies? Or are they gonna be Hadi? Okay, they're good. - They're allies, that's good. - Well, Eileen Davidson is one smart cookie. She's not one of these idiot who comes on this show. First of all, she doesn't need it. She's already famous as Hell and Rich as Hell. - Yeah. - With her own money, thank you very much. So she doesn't need it to be nice to anybody, or, you know, she doesn't need anything from the show. She's probably just doing it for fun. And I mean, face it, every soap star wants to be on a prime time, even if it's this. - Yeah. - And she's smart, she'll know the team with Lisa. Those other girls were idiots. I mean, look who, the only time anybody really, really made it go at going against Lisa was Brandy, and of course Kyle, but they're both dumb as bricks. - Yeah, Brandy was pissing me off all episode. I mean, she, you know, we were. - Poor Brandy van. She's a victim. - She, Brandy, you know, we talked about this on the bonus episode with Kenya and Portia. Brandy is another one of these women who, or just people in general, who is like, she pushes people, she comes after someone, they fight back, and then she's like, I can't believe she won't talk to me. It's so awkward at the party. Like, I feel like these are just all the mean girls coming up against me is like, no, bitch, you went at her, and you tried to start some shit, and it didn't work. And now you have to pay the price. - But the difference is that, I mean, not to jump into a planet yet, but the difference is that when Kenya does that, and she's still like, oh, none of the girls are talking to me, she still has the personality to be in the mix. - Yes. - And she's still there, and she's not gonna run away from anyone. Brandy sat in the corner of the entire party, and I was like, what? - Oh, it's those gays. Oh my God, she fell into the gays, and she's like, those ass kissing gays who were just eating all the fat burger and shivin' that shit in their man purses. - That was, you know, sometimes when we do this podcast, we do get accused of being like self-loathing gays, which I guess is sort of like just being gay in general. - I don't like myself. - But just meaning that we hate on other gays aggressively, but then you see these gays that come with Brandy, and they are the ass-kissers. One guy has a face that's like made of like recycled beach ball plastic or something. You know, it's just like this horrible stereotype. - He looks like the Mexican-Jewish guy, the Mexican-Jewish food truck guy from Top Chef, except with some lipo and a facelift. - But what I was saying about Brandy is that she does that half accountability, where she'll be like, you know, I said some things, and she said some things. We both need to apologize and move forward. And so I was like, no, but you said things. - Yeah, it was you. - And that she defended herself. - Yeah. - You know, it was pretty much all you. You said things. Well, we were both at fault. I love when she said that to Adrian. Well, you know, we both did things to each other. - No, I'm no fan of Adrian Maloof, but she didn't do anything to you. She did nothing. - No, it was burning. It was burning, Bernie did it. - Yeah, let's not forget Bernie. - You wanna talk about like evil people, Bernie the chef with his strawberry stuff. - Well, that was Lisa Vanderpump though, not Brandy. He didn't do anything to Brandy, did he? - I think he did something to Brandy because Brandy was on Team Lisa, right? - Yeah, he'll meet stories to the tabloids about Brandy and Lisa. - I love, I love Bernie the chef. What he's like, totally in the murder mystery version of the Real House of Beverly Hills. He's totally, totally someone who like is like, holding the candlestick, you know? - Yeah, he's like murder, she wrote, "Crossed with Vicious." It was an old, horrible queen. This one, what was I gonna say? Oh, and also Brandy, so she also acts like a victim, but can't help being a horrible, horrible bitch at the same time. She's like, "Hi everybody, what? You're gonna roll your eyes when you're 75." It's like, "No girls, but they're all 78." I mean, come on now. - But, oh, I loved by the way, the producers, they plumped this episode full of so many flashbacks, but each flashback was so hilarious. 'Cause when she's like, "This reminds me of when I walked in with the crutches and do a flashback of all the men being like, look at her on the crut, I can't be sure as to let it with crutches." And then they just took like 10 seconds of me like, (laughing) it was like the most evil cackling. - Especially, especially Taylor Armstrong. That was hilarious 'cause she was like wasted. That was the year Taylor was wasted in every scene. - It was just like overlapping. - It was the lead up to the suicide, so she was really at like her most dysfunctional. I loved that I laughed through that line. (laughing) - So, it seems like it's a little dark. (laughing) It's dark a lot. - So, this show opened with the apology tour because after last season, everybody basically got hammered on Twitter and realized that they had to be nice to the queen. So, the first half of the show is everybody coming back and groveling to Lisa, which was hilarious. - Yeah. - Especially the Kyle grovel. I loved that one. - I mean, it's like every season begins with the Kyle grovel 'cause she always goes after the wrong person and has to come back with her tail between her legs. The fat burger between her legs. (laughing) - I'm just, I don't get why Kyle is still even there. I feel like she's the worst of the house wise. Even considering everything Adrienne's done, considering everything Brandi's done, like Kyle's the most annoying and pointless to me. - Well, Kyle, I think it's still there 'cause she is like the head housewife. She's the one that was kind of helped cast the show with all of her friends. You know, they always have them, the main bitch. - I don't know, she's linked to the Hilton's. - I mean, she starts shit with everybody. - The Hilton's just barely show up on the show. - Yeah, it's true that it's surprising that the Hilton's have not shown up more, especially now that Paris is no longer the socialite that she once was. But I mean, the thing is that like, you know, I've said this also many times before, season one, Kyle was a bitch on wheels and it was great. Like, we loved her for it. And I think we wanna see Crazy Kyle come back and she's so concerned about her image. And the agency, the agency's grown so much. She probably is like afraid to, that she's gonna like imperil some of Mauricio's, you know, clientele. - But half of Mauricio's clientele is probably because she's on the damn show. - Yeah, exactly, exactly. But are we gonna be on HGTV? 'Cause you know, he's like, shows up. Those real estate agents always show up on those shows. (laughing) - How did you guys feel about like, basically a season one reunion with all the classics, Camille, Taylor and Adrian? - I thought I was boring. - Clearout. - I mean, it was, it was all, I only really enjoyed the, you're such a fucking liar, Camille flashback because I will never not love that scene. - Yeah. - But, all the girls dancing at the white party, it felt like a finale or something. - It was weird. I, like, has anything started yet? - I personally enjoyed it. I was like, even though nothing was happening and even though they were dancing and had that weird, weird, that blue effect, I was like, you know what, that happens at once in a one, sometimes they shoot stuff at night. Everyone looks like they're in some strange early 80s sci-fi movie. But, it gave me the warm fuzzies. I was like, oh, the old cast, everyone's back together. Like, these are the girls that made us fall in love with this franchise. - I liked it for a couple reasons. I loved when they showed Camille dancing in Vegas, that killed me when she was trying to make everyone's husbands get a heart on. (laughing) And I also loved Lisa's reaction to things like when she told, when there is that girl floating in the pool of the big hamster ball, she's like, Camille Darling, the Camille I knew would be in there, in that ball, you know? And then they flashed at Camille being a whore. And then, it was like, listen, I don't care if Adrienne's dating a toddler with a beard painted on, as long as she's happy, 'cause she's not an angry old cow. She's not a miserable old cow anymore. Like, she was when she was married, darling. - Yeah. And then they showed like a clip of Adrienne being a miserable old cow, and she's like, those shoes make a lot of noise, gosh. (laughing) - Probably my favorite part of the whole dancing in white with the blue lighting thing, was just how Kyle kept screaming, this is the beginning. This is all of us back together. And Yolanda, the dream team, beginning in the end. - You know, Yolanda sort of, you know, towards the end of last season, Yolanda was really pissing me off, 'cause she was being so mean to Lisa. But I don't know, I think Yolanda may have won me back over, 'cause I like the way she was just like, listen, I just was, you know, I was needy, I was dying of Lyme disease, and I just wanted you to be near me, but you weren't there, so it was fine. I get it, it's fine, let's move on. I was like, oh, I like that. It's refreshing, it's short and sweet. So she's back to my good side. - That was like another bullshit apology to me. I know, that worked on me, I can't help it. It worked on me. - You know, these women, like the only time they want to apologize for being that evil. And look, I'm not, I know it's annoying when we're always team Lisa, you know, but I think we're pretty fair, and we switch teams all the time, but Lisa really didn't do anything. I honestly do not get what she did. So for all of these bitches to suddenly be coming back, like, oh, sorry, because there's cameras here now, we have to be nice to you, that's bullshit. Like if they had come to her earlier and they were already friends again or something, that would have been okay, but this is, I don't buy it. - My favorite thing was, sorry. - Oh no, no, no, I have to stop. - I was gonna say, you know how I go. - My favorite thing that Yolanda did was that when she took like a walk with Brandy down to the beach, and then there was like some dudes selling, like a gypsy. - Why are you selling these things next to my property? - She gets, and she's like, oh hello, you know this is my property, right? And he's like, oh, no, I didn't realize, she's like, no, it's okay, you just use all this not every day, it's fine, but you know, as soon as the camera's off, she's like, get the fuck off my property, get out of here. - How was that even her property? That's like right before the sidewalk and her house is all the way up on some hill. - Well, you know what, is she gonna start charging rent to the stop signs and the stop lights and shit? That is not your property, get over yourself. - Well, she says, she's like, look, you know, it's four acres, so it's hard to know who's at the bottom and who's at the top. By the way, this is our accent for Yolanda, even though it doesn't really, even though it's more of a German accent, it's just, that's our Yolanda accent. - I'm picking up on that. - If she wanted to be healthy, if she wanted to be really helpful, she would have been like, this is my property, which is okay, but I wanted to tell you, Broom skirts are out, they are no longer being sold, no one wears them, except for Brandy, 'cause she's poor. - But I love your Elmer Fudd pillow. (laughing) - Let's see, what else happened? So Brandy, Brandy was just annoying, you know, like, whoa, it's Brandy, she's lived in two condos, she spent $40,000 in the past three months moving from place to place. - That girl's-- - Yeah, what's her new book gonna be, do you know? - I don't, I don't, I didn't even know the second one came out. - Yeah, there was a drunk tweeting one. - I liked the first one, the first one was back when I still liked Brandy, and I constantly loved, you know, looking at my Instagram with me with her and her book release. - Oh, did you, really, you went to it? - Yeah, but then I started hating her, and so I didn't even know she had a second book out. - The first book was the one that was like, it's not cancer, it's divorce, right? Or it's divorce, not cancer, something like that, right? Real sassy, something that Amanda from New Jersey would have really hated. - No, I think that was the original type. - I mean, Amber was like, drunk tweeting or something, was the first one. - Yeah, I didn't know there was a second one at all. I mean, the third one's probably just like a travel brochure or something, you know? It's like, she's gonna take credit, it's a book. - Yeah, it's like $15, it's like a missing thing for her dog. - It's like a postcard. - Oh, this is a missing sign, I wrote this. - Where's Chichi or whatever? What was the name of that super dog? Cha-cha, poor dog. - Well, Brandy has learned that the way to become a fan favorite is to be a victim, right? Because that pretty much is what got her popular in the first place, 'cause everybody was being so mean to her for no reason, so we all liked her, 'cause she was like, "Fuck you." People love a victim, but you can't just say you're a victim, like something actually has to happen to you. So, she needs to get by a car. - Yeah, she needs to be back on crutches. - She needs to bait one of them into being really mean to her about divorce or something, because you can't just cry victim and then everybody's suddenly likes you dumbed out. - She has to go after Kyle, that would be her best move. - I think so. - By the way, not enough came Richards on this episode. - She just sort of popped up. - Yeah, she sort of popped up and was like already kooky. She was like, "Ah, ah." - Even gonna be in this episode. - I was wondering that too. - They just didn't have her in, so they could do the Where's Kim joke? - Yeah, I think that's actually why they did it, because I was wondering that she was like, "Where's Kim gonna be?" It's like, I was already thinking like, "Where's Eileen Davidson?" And then I was like, "Where's Kim?" And how could they have all these season one people here, but no Kim, and no one's even mentioning it, and then all of a sudden was the Where's Kim thing. - She's like, "Hi everybody, for me." (laughing) - I'm like, "Wow, Kim." And they all like hugged her gingerly and walked away. I like when Kim was like, "So are you dreaming?" "This is this guy, this is a grandson." "He's so cute, can I hold him?" She's like, "No, it's my boyfriend." - Wow. - They just like stood there awkwardly. (laughing) - Oh God, it's so good to have Kim Richards back in our lives. - Kim. - What did you guys think about Harry Hamlin? - I love Harry Hamlin. - He's the guy I love Lisa. - I love Lisa, and I hate, and I mean, sorry. I love Lisa, I love Harry. I love him on Mad Men, I love him on Veronica Mars. I am always here from Lisa and Harry. - You know what's funny is that Harry Hamlin on Mad Men has now like erased all previous iterations of Harry Hamlin. I didn't have a problem with previous Harry Hamlin's, but it was always that Harry Hamlin was like, he was like in the '80s, he was like super sexy, and he was always just like this guy from LA Law, in my mind, this sexy guy. And now he, to me, is so that kooky dude from Mad Men that to see him at home strumming a guitar or showing a rattlesnake off to his family is very strange to me, I couldn't deal. I was like, this is weird, this is that guy from Mad Men. Being, it's like out of pretty much anyone from Mad Men who is like, I see in modern day, I get confused by. In fact, I was at a coffee shop on Friday, and Kiernan Shipka walked in, and I was floored because she was like in jeans, and a flannel, and she ordered coffee, and it was like a little young adult. And I was like, I can't deal with Sally Draper right now being from 2014, this is like blowing my mind. - Yeah, I saw her at Tender Greens, and I was the same way. And she was so nice, you know how that has like a million employees in the line? - Yeah. - Like making your salad. She was like, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. - Thank you, thank you, she walked out my aisle. That was kind of '50s of her. That was weird seeing her in jeans. - Yeah, so I'm having that same thing with Harry Hamlin, where I'm like, he has now gone back in time, and I can't get him back. - Someone just invited me to something called Lush Hour, so I'll just, people know me. - Was it? - Was it brandy? - Yeah. (laughing) - She's like, listen Ron, we both said a lot of bad things to each other, so. - We've both done a lot of horrible things. - I just wanna apologize, but I think you should, you owe me an apology too. You know, that being said, by the way, I thought Adrian Maloof actually did seem happier. I don't think it was like a show. She actually seemed like, she looks happier, for sure. - Well, yeah, she's getting that new dig, so. - Yeah, she's gotta be happy. Jesus Christ, she's sitting on the toddler pole. - Yeah, she's doing the Camille grammar thing, which is that Camille grammar was dating that hot, sexy Greek guy who was hot and sexily beat her up. - Oh. - Allegedly. - Allegedly. But before we beat her up, it was like, go Camille. - Yeah, that was hot, but his brother was a serial killer. I mean, I know that you can not be a serial killer if your brother is a serial killer. Still awkward Thanksgiving, so. I think you should just rethink that, you know, when you're jumping back in the dating pool. - Yeah, yeah, I agree. - I love that Kyle's opening is about planes and yachts. She's like, planes and yachts are nice, but happiness is forever. And then she's like awkwardly kissing her husband, who's not being transgender, took her some hotels, you guys, okay? - I mean, there is no intro better than Lisa's in one. - What, how's it going again? - Lisa's perfect. - It's like, I shall return leader of the pack. (laughing) - Yeah, I'm on the road again. - I'll throw it to the wolves and I shall return leader of the pack. - Oh, wow, yeah. - She's throwing down the gauntlet. - Yeah. - I'm like, just letting you know I'm the queen. Don't fuck with me. - Yeah. (laughing) - What's Kim's? What's Kim's? Do we know what Kim's is? - I don't know. - It's probably like-- - Kim is like, she won the barrel 19 bushes and I'm Kim Richards. You heard it here first. (laughing) She's like, tonight I'm 60 minutes. Kim Richards, that's it. (laughing) - So did anything else, do you know where the happen in the season? - It seems to be something like, being rich and famous is great, but having a dog in a rented Bentley is nice too. It's something that's something that's awkward. - I just feel like there were two or three that were about happiness. Like they were trying to sell us on how happy they were, which made me believe that they were really unhappy. - Yeah, no one who's happy is like, I'm so happy, they'll say that. They've just acted. - No, no one who's happy says like, money and fame are great, but I choose happiness over that. And that's why I'm happy. It's like, no, you're completely unhappy, right? - Money and fame is better. - Yeah. (laughing) - Should we move on to another TV series? - Yeah, I think we finished all that, didn't we? - Wow. - Did we move something? - No, I think we got it all. - I think we got it all. - Last look, last look. - Last look. - I do want to say that I feel so bad for Kyle because everyone always makes fat jokes about Kyle. And it's not even because she's fat. Like, I like to make fat jokes about Kyle. - It's not because she looks fat. - I just think that she's, no, I think it's because she's obsessed with it. So I like, I like teasing her, but she's obviously so paranoid. And then she was starving herself before this season. And, you know, Lisa likes to get on her good side of just like, just skinny. She's like, oh my God, now she's friends with Lisa again. And then she wears something backless at a fat burger party, Kyle. And then Ken, like came around to hug her and kind of was jiggling her back fat. And I was like, oh my God, that's going to come up with the reunion. Or she's going to find some way to get him back now. - Yeah. I actually kind of liked Kyle's weird truck. You know, it sort of had this like, it kind of reminded me of like Brigitte Nielsen in Beverly Hills Cop 2 in a strange way in a way that I liked. It was sort of like, it wasn't, I feel like it was not a good dress, but I sort of liked that she went for it. - Okay, so I'm done. That's all I had to say. - This is why I will not be on "Fashion Queens" anytime soon. (laughs) I have no fashion sense. - Well, you just have to say it in that bravo gay way. You just have to, you just have to change your reflection. Girl, that back, I'm probably thinking of you like, that backless dress, more like a backless, no. (laughs) Makes no sense. They'll be like, yes. - That backless dress needs less backless. - Okay, girl, what? - With the back on that back. - I'm trying to tacky-tanger, I what? - Oh gosh. - All right, let's go to Atlanta. - Let's do it. - All right, so what did you guys think about the episode? - Atlanta was my favorite this week. - Really? Okay. - All my favorites. - Atlanta's been good this season so far. - I mean, Atlanta was my favorite last year or two. I mean, Atlanta never disappoints. The Apollo stuff was amazing. - Oh yeah, Apollo's been great. He's, it's good shit. - But the apology that came was insane to me. And it was fantastic that he chose, was that moment to do it. And Candy, or someone was like, does Phaedra now? And he's like, oh, no. - Now, just to let people know who we're watching, this is the apology, Apollo, but grudgingly apologized and admitted that he never met Kenya in LA and that he made up everything about her blowing him. - The Felicia. - No, this is probably not gonna be a popular opinion because he's such a dick. But what he was, I kinda understood what he was saying 'cause I'm learning how to speak Apollo English because God bless his little heart just didn't learn that much. But he was trying to say, yes, I did say those lies, but I was saying those because you were lying about, you were saying that those text messages I sent, you were something sexual and trying to cause problems in my marriage. So I was just trying to make it look like you were at the whore because you were trying to make me look like I was trying to cheat on my wife, which I wasn't. Now, he's too stupid to say that, but that is what he was saying. And then Kenya's like, but why would you even bring that up right now? Because, bitch, this is what happens when you do this shift to people, okay? - Yeah, and when you're on a reality show, you can have producers are gonna say, hey, Apollo, why don't you go to bar one and apologize? - Right, like, why is it okay for you to basically insinuate that Phaedra's husband is trying to cheat on her? - That hasn't you. - With you. That's it. Oh, look, what the hell? Like, why is that okay? And she's like, no, no, no, we don't bring that. You can't bring that up right now. - She's the word. - See, the thing is, well, the reason why I love Kenya is because she does brandy so much better than brandy, ever could. - That's true. - She does the same like we were both horrible to each other and you need to apologize to be a thing. But when people try and bring up her horrible moment, she's like, I don't wanna hear about it. Like, when Candy said, you know, I was kind of on Portia's side because you shouldn't have been waving that in her face. You had it coming. And Kenya was like, I don't wanna hear about it. I'm gonna leave. - Yup. - And then Kenya was like, like, - Oh, no, you're gonna have to explain this before you even do it for her. - Oh, for Iris. So Iris, my whole thing-- - I'm not too worried. What a dick. - Just likes you. So Iris, my whole thing is that I always try to impersonate Candy and Candy's voice is the most difficult voice to impersonate. So whenever I do it, it sounds like this sort of this strange, it's harder to even describe because her voice, it's like deep and high all at the same time. So she'll be like, so I was talking to Riley and I was like, see? Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, it's like a weird goose I'm migrating to the south. If you listen to it. And so on this episode at one point, she was like, I was like, whoa, and I cracked up. I put a video of it on our Facebook page. - I like my laugh, it's like-- (laughing) - And then when she's saying, she's like, (laughing) - When she first came on the show, I remember thinking, there's no way she's gonna be good on this show. She's so nice, you know, what is a music, like what is a music producer gonna, I didn't get it. She's so good on this show and I love how just honest she is about every calling everybody out. She does not give a crap. Yeah, because she's more successful than all of them. So like, she doesn't really have too much to lose. - Yeah. - And she's one of the few hustle eyes who's actually never really done anything shady to any of the other ones. - Yeah. - Like she's able to call people out because she keeps at 100 all the time. - Exactly, although my friend David, he texted something that was really funny about how when Apollo, like when Apollo apologized and then Candy was like, nah, I feel like I don't even know you anymore. And my friend David's like, oh, so because the blow job, she doesn't, this is like a new Apollo. Like never mind the stolen social security numbers and the fraud and the lying and the scheming and the cheating, oh, but oh, but he lied about Kenya. Oh, I don't even know you anymore. Who is this person? (laughing) So that's what did it. (laughing) See, nah, pong, rabbit. - She pissed a lot of people off too because she said, you just repeated the same cycle of violent, you know, the same black man cycle or something. I was like, oh, no. And she's probably getting a lot of shit on Twitter for that one too. - I know. - Stupid Apollo. Why'd you have to go and fuck everything up Apollo? I still love how Phaedra's dealing with Apollo though. She's killing him. - Oh, I love it. I love it. Pretending he's an outman to ever. - Yeah. - That's such a great like Northeastern way to handle it. (laughing) Right from the patrician class of, you know, the old wasp-y way. (laughing) - So sad. - I know. I know, by the way, her kids are so cute. They, like, I feel actually very bad for those kids because especially Aiden, he is really, really adorable. - So can we talk about how Mimi is more draining than fibroids? - Oh my God. She is more, she is a fibroid at this point. Cynthia, Cynthia cannot stop bringing up fibroids. I love it. - Unlock your imagination with Audible. 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And if a drama-free paradise is what you're looking for, then have I got the place for you? ♪ Aruba ♪ It's the opposite of Scary Island. It's officially known as One Happy Island because of its friendly, warm, and welcoming culture. Spend your days lying on some of the best beaches in the world under the sunniest skies in the Caribbean, and you'll see why this island is the number one guy in the group in the best way. Get a beachside massage with locally grown aloe or adventure outdoors with a hike or a snorkel. No matter what you do in Aruba, you'll find happiness. That happy, relaxing feeling you find on Aruba Shores that stays with you. There's no drama. It's just a sun-soaked white sand beach, crystal blue water escape that will leave you feeling Giovanni, baby. So save yourself to stress and headache of planning a vacation, and instead, book a rejuvenating trip at aruba.com. - Though you speak, I'm sorry. I started to say something about plywood, but. (laughs) And I was like, oh, I'm not gonna say it. - I just feel like Mimi is in a backdoor spin-off for a show that I do not wanna watch. She, it's very weird to open the season with her not there. - Yeah. - The show in Vegas, like not even appearing in Atlanta and then being like, hey, y'all, I'm gonna go to Vegas and then show, but I'll be back. It's like, oh, is she in Vegas now? Is there gonna be a housewise of Vegas spin-offs? - No, what it's gonna be is it's totally what you said. It's gonna be a spin-off. It's gonna be called "Oh, the Zumanity." And it's gonna be like, "Nini, do it at us." And be like, coming on Thursdays to Bravo, Nini and the circus. Oh, the Zumanity. - I said, line, motherfucker, bloop. It's a three-ring circus and Nini's in the middle. - I love that Nini's trying to act like she's a star on Broadway. She's like, well, you know, it's sold out. All those, just knowing it's sold out and all those seats are gone. And then they show it's so not sold out. There's like, there's like full row after row empty. And then the people who did buy tickets are like white trash, NASCAR audience people with their arms crossed and their hats on, like all. - Yeah, and it's not like she's like walking. It's not like she's walking the footsteps of Meryl Streep, okay? The previous ringmaster for "Zumanity" was literally a no one. Like, who was the game before her? So it's like, this is like, sure, it's a cool gig, but this is not like, okay, the next step towards world domination, you know? This is like a generic Vegas gig. - Also, she's really obsessed with the fact that she looks like a drag queen, because I think that if you had a drinking game and you took a shot every time Nini said, "Oh, I'm really giving you drag queen now, honey." You'd be in the hospital. - Yeah, and she thinks that probably makes her like less of a homophobe. But then all those times she's like, "Stop being a queen!" You know? - Well, I was searching "Zumanity" to see who other ringmasters have been. And the headline that comes up first is, "We're a Cirque Show, Review of Zumanity, One Star." - Well, it's like, this may sound very naive of me, but I haven't seen, actually, in the clips that they've shown so far, I haven't seen so much Cirqueous action. There's just a lot of people lounging around and being provocative. I'm sure there's a lot of trebuc stuff and contorting things like that. But I don't know, the point is this, I have no interest in Zumanity, either on this show or in real life. - Yeah, Nini's really good only when she's making fun of the other castmates on this show or causing shit with other people on this show. Otherwise, I don't need it. - Yeah, no. - All of her wedding spin-off was pretty hilarious, I have to say. - Ooh, I did not like it. - 'Cause she was just abusive to everybody around her, which I just, she's just so awful. If you appreciate her as a cartoon character, you know, I can get into it, but man, she's the worst. - Yeah, I'm just super tired of Nini in general. I mean, if you clipped her out from the episode, you wouldn't miss anything. And I feel like I don't even need her back this season, 'cause all she's gonna do is badger Cynthia, who is doing really well at her modeling agency for models who can't read good. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, for Atlanta's finest couture scene, you know, Cynthia, meanwhile, is really milking this feud for all that she can't. She's like, I have everything's new, everything's better. My fibroids went away 'cause now that Nini's gone, like everything is great. And I'm gonna have a party at bar one to celebrate my non-Nini-ness and being in Ebony magazine. - Talking about going into business with Peter, I'm like, how many flop businesses does he need to have before you get that's not a good idea, though? - He's like, does he not have a debit card to your bank account already? 'Cause that's basically what he's asking for. He's gonna be like, the next thing we're gonna do is, we're gonna put shot glasses in Peterbread and you do a shot and we'll be called a Peter, a Peter shot. That's what, so can I have like $200,000, please? (laughing) Sure. - Baby, baby, we're gonna go on business together, baby. - She's like, sure. She's like, I don't know, okay. - She's like, I'm so honored that Peter would ask me to be in business with him. He's a businessman. And I've proven with my business that I'm a business woman. I'm like, you have proven that your bank account is full. That is all you've proven, stop it. - He's like, I got a great new idea. It's gonna be like, it's gonna change the car scene. It's gonna be a car that's with four wheels. It's gonna have five, a five wheel car. Come on, Cynthia, invest in me. - Baby, I wanna put another prong on a fork. 'Cause when you're trying to eat a salad, there's not enough prongs to get the salad on there. It's gonna be called a six prong salad fork. It's gonna be, here's what I wanna do. I wanna have a two-headed spoon. So I'll be like, two spoons, two spoon heads, right next to each other. It's that way when you're having soup, you can have two servings at once. - And you can put chocolate on one spoon and vanilla on the other spoon. And then you can have chocolate and vanilla ice cream. (laughing) - Did I run away? - I see you there in the distance. You can't run, get back here. - This is what happened on you. - This is what happens on our podcast. We sort of go on these weird ditches. I didn't, by the way, I wasn't even trying to do a Peter voice 'cause I can't do Peter voice for some reason. So I just sort of did a general. - You have a Peter's piece? - I did just like a general Huxter voice. I was like, it's a guy from like New York City in the 50s. Like, "Hey, yeah, I got an idea for you, my Cynthia." - No, Peter. - Just do a dumb stupid low voice, Peter. - We're gonna do a coffee cup with a hole at the bottom. So that way, you can pour the coffee in and then your coffee cup is clean into, I don't know. - I still cannot look at a box of Uncle Ben without thinking of Peter. (laughing) - Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa. - Oh, yeah. - Oh, Peter is the worst, and he-- - So let's talk about Mama Joyce, who we finally got back this week. - I mean, over that too. - Mama Joyce needs a seven bedroom house right down the street, a seven bedroom house. - Todd is correct, Todd is correct. The bad saying, "I candy enables this woman." Candy gave her a house. She didn't want it. It should be like, okay, that's it. I gave you it and that's all you get. I'm surprised that Riley is not more spoiled. Like, Riley is a beautiful, beautiful woman. Young woman. And I keep giving her a house, let her celebrate. Let her sell the damn house and get her own. Get a condo, get something. I'm like, why do you need to be so close to this family that you don't even like? - Exactly. No, I mean, she's an ungrateful bitch, I'm sorry. - Yeah, she's one of those people that just needs misery. - Yeah. No, she's manipulative, she's evil, she's psychotic. Listen, I don't think Todd is great. I think Todd is, you know, I think Todd's shaded in his own way, and he's sort of like a downer. But that being said, mama Joyce is nuts. And remember her at the reunion? She's lost her mind. - Oh yeah, I mean, she really thinks that she's like, I don't know if she's angling for like real mothers of Atlanta, like real grandmothers, like her own spinoff, but she brought me the wrong way. - I can't believe she told Candy. - Candy, you need to keep me in the manner. I've been accustomed to. - Oh, no, you did not just say that. First of all, that's what you say in a divorce. Why are you telling your daughter that? She's gross. - Oh, so you're gonna take that shoe off if Candy doesn't oblige, beat her on her side to head. - I'm just reading my notes here to see what else. So the Apollo thing was the biggest thing, arms. - Yeah. - And I can't wait till Phaedra hears about that next week. - Mm-hmm. - And can be alive. - I'm sure I'm sure in typical Phaedra fashion, she will not actually apologize. - No, she won't. No, oh, no, of course not. - Because we remember her apology to, who did she have to apologize to? - Was this Nini? Did she apologize to Nini? - No, she apologized to... - Portia? - To Cynthia. - Well, I would anyone have to apologize to Cynthia. Cynthia or Candy, where she said something shady about them. And then she was called out about it. - And maybe it was Kim, it was a Kim, I think. - And she was caught like on voicemail saying it. - Oh, yeah. - And then she was like, "Oh, yes, I guess I did say that." Like, that was her apology. - Well, I would apologize to Kenya for anything if I was her either, 'cause Kenya was always trying to start shit and make it seem like Apollo was after her when he was, well, maybe he was, I don't know. So Kenya deserves anything that she gets on this show. If Kenya is run down by a semi, I'm just going to assume that she said something mean about that semi's wife or something. Like, she deserves it. - She'll probably run herself over with a semi and then like... - I want to hold the team, Kenya. I love her. I love her. - I actually love her, she's on the real way. - She makes this for the show. - Yeah, I love her in a strange way now also. Like, I hate her in love her at the same time, you know? - Yeah, I mean, how can you not love her when they had that scene where they were singing "Really Bitch?" - Okay. (laughs) - "Really Bitch," the return of Brendan. - Yeah. - Beijon Beij crime. Wait, what did you guys think about the debut of Claudia Jordan? - I mean, she didn't really do anything, but she only reason I'm happy that Nini is coming back is because I want Claudia to tear Nini apart. - Were they on the same season of "Apprentice?" - I don't think so. - Do they know each other? - I think Claudia, I think, was on the Omarosa season. - Oh, and then Claudia, but wasn't... Oh, and Claudia was with... - Because Claudia had the drama with Omarosa and Claudia made that comment about Omarosa after her husband died and they had drama, so... - Oh, wait, was that? - Oh gosh, it's all blurring together 'cause Omarosa was on... Omarosa was on the second season. You're talking about the second season. - She came back all stars again. - Yeah, I didn't realize that Claudia Jordan was on that. I didn't actually watch that season. - I don't know anything about Claudia Jordan, but she's gonna be a bitch on wheels and I love it 'cause she's already giving everybody shit. - Yeah, she can give you a good bitch and that is what I'm looking for. Because Ken is just sort of crazy, and Landon doesn't really have a good bitch in the Omar. - Yeah, no, she's, especially because she imported... Well, she and Portia are on the same local TV show, I think, and Claudia's doing the radio portion and Portia's doing the TV portion and they're already mad at each other. - Poor little Portia. - I know. Portia's so dumb and next week she gets into it with Cynthia. And now Cynthia's, again, she's like... It's like the new empowered Cynthia. It looks like Cynthia starts yelling at her. She's like, "You wanna come for me?" Like, "Oh, Cynthia, settle down." - Oh, yeah, Cynthia stopped trying, okay. - I know, it's like going out to Portia's just so easy. - And you know Cynthia's serious 'cause she's wearing her fake glasses in that scene. - Yeah, I love when she wears her glasses. - Cynthia's like one of those when actors get headshots and they do them in all those different costumes. They're like, "Well, I'm a maid. "Look, I'm smart 'cause I've got glasses on. "That's an afro now." - I think she thought that was Cynthia. You're still just Cynthia. - I know, stupid Cynthia Bailey. Still looks great, though. You know, can't take that from her. - Love it, you can take that from her. - No fibroid can take that from her. - Loving Atlanta so far. Do you guys have anything else from Atlanta? - I have nothing. Why don't we move on to Vanderpump Rules? - Vanderpump Rules. - Vanderpump Rules, still one of my favorite shows on TV. I think it's one of the most important TV shows for America at this moment. I think it's an insight into the millennials. It's an insight into the human condition and it's an insight into basically, you know, the labor versus management conditions that plague this country. So I think it's important viewing for everyone. - Also, you know, I think it's important for Americans to realize that nuclear war isn't necessarily a terrible thing. - Yeah. - And maybe we should just let everybody arm up and go at it because if shit is gonna keep going like this, we deserve what we get. - Yeah, and if someone wants to drop, you know, the A-bomb in the corner of Robertson and Santa Monica Boulevard, this show is making a very good case for it. (laughing) - It's called the cleanup. - Let's stop calling it the nuclear bomb and start calling it the cleanup crew. (laughing) - Watch, now we'll get people angry like, I can't believe you would advocate genocide like that. (laughing) That's gay bashing, no it's not. It's idiot bashing. So, wow. So, here's my first takeaway from Vanderpump Rules. Why is Stasi dressing like a middle-aged woman all of a sudden? Are hairs like middle-aged women? Like, well, it's not that her hair's middle-aged. It's aging her, but her clothes are definitely, you know, she looks like she's 42 years old now. - Because she's trying to act like she's accomplished something. She's, that's my favorite thing about Stasi. She's acting like she's coming back from this like, you know, Broadway tour or something that she's accomplished in her life. When, really, she started banging some guy with a decent job in New York. That's all you've done, Stasi. Like, you didn't do anything. You didn't graduate from anything. You didn't learn anything. You didn't perform in anything. You've done nothing. So, stop acting. She's like, you know, coming back now, it's so different. Really? - It's just like, I don't even have any hair. - She's like, I have a chunky necklace now. It changes everything. (laughing) Well, at least she's not catastrophic anymore. She's got like a little condo that's probably paid for by Bravo. - Yeah. She's like, see all these wigresses it's certain. - Stasi has moved as I feel like it's much as brandy at this point back to New York. And now she's back. And maybe she dresses like a 40 year old woman just because she gets tired. (laughing) - She just exhausted from the boxes. - She is running around so much. - She has a tough life, you know? - I like what she's telling her dad. I don't have to do anything. I mean, when I was in New York, it was so freeing. I would just get my jogging pants and walk around all day. Like, that's not something to be proud of, okay? (laughing) Living off some dude, this is 2014. Girl, that's not what you're supposed to be doing. Are you supposed to be trying to be an actress or something? Like, make an effort. - Yeah, Stasi needs to sort of like regain the reigns of the show. She's a little too periphery. Her bitchery is more like chatter on the side. And as fun as it is, it's not like, it's just, it's better when she's like in the middle and she's mad at someone and then she launches a hate campaign. Like, for instance, there's a part in the middle of the episode when Katrina, who is like a secondary character, she's sort of like taken over Sasi's role. And at one point-- - She's certainly trying to. - Yeah, I think she told Jack that Sasi was around and Jack's like, "Oh, Sasi's here." And she's like, (laughing) And she's like, "She's here and she doesn't want to see you." And that's something you have to live with, okay? You will never be friends with Stasi again, okay? She might come and she might say, "Hi." You might say, "Hey, but you guys are not friends. You guys are over. You have to get over that." - It's over. It's over. - Don't. It's like this is over. She's not gonna speak to you. It's done. Over. - I mean, she's nearly been watching reruns of "The Hills." - Yeah, I mean, there's like this super nasty, like, attack on Jacks. And the best part was Jacks like, "Oh, okay." (laughing) - I mean, well, Jack was kind of an idiot anyway. So-- - Why didn't she come in to say hi and see how things are happening? (laughing) - He truly is a puppy dog. He is a puppy dog who knocked over a box of something and you go over that dog, you're like, "No, you do not do that. You just stay away from the box of kibbles and bits. Stay away from it. Bad dog. Bad dog." And the dog's like, "Hmm." - And then he puts his ears down and then he starts fucking it. (laughing) - I have no problem with anyone being named to Jacks 'cause he's also a horrible tipper. So I hate him. - He's a horrible tipper? - He's a horrible tipper. - Were you in the service industry at one point and-- - I was before my fabulous, my so fierce and so successful. (laughing) - Tenured at BuzzFeed. - Tenured at BuzzFeed. I was a waiter at a miracle mile restaurant and he was a very poor tipper. - Really? - Oh. - Well, it's a little inside scoop for the world. Jacks is cheap. (laughing) He's fair, he does not know how to count numbers. - That's true. - So he's giving you $50, so he was a five and there's a circle in the middle of the thing. He's like, "No, that's just a circle around the president." That's not a zero. - Ira, do you write lists? Like housewives lists? - I don't think I've done anything housewise related yet, but you know, I make some lists. I do some pop culture things. You know, I talk about, I did a witch gay porn site quiz or you last week, it was a big hit, so-- - Witch gay porn site, are you? - I'm all over the map. - Is that what it's called? - I mean, I would post, I don't look at porn, so-- - Of course. - You don't? Wait, so you're saying witch gay porn site is you? - That was the quiz that I did live. - Ooh, I wonder what I would be. - I want to find it. - I know, I want to play that also. - I think I would. - I'll get it right at porn hub. - I feel like I'd be something like awful, like Sean Cody, even though that's not real. - No, that's not awful, are you kidding? Those are the finest guys ever invented. Those guys are amazing. - Doesn't do it for me. - Yeah, those are on the E, those are on the, let's pretend we're straight, guys. - Yeah, exactly, as they bareback everyone, everything in sight. - Yeah. - I'm surprised. If Vanderpump rules didn't come around, Jack's would be on Sean Cody, you know. You know, he was like one step away. - No, he's more of a Randy Blue, 'cause he's like big. Like Sean Cody is for when they're like lean and muscular. Jack's is too like, royalty looking. - I'm trying to look up your thing. - Me too, and I'm just kind of like gay porn sites. - Yeah, that's all I'm going on. I'm typing in Buzzfeed. Oh, here we go, here we go. I'm gonna take it live now. - And I feel like this is still on message with our podcast because since we're talking about Vanderpump rules, it's like appropriate to talk about like, like gross, illicit sexual things. Okay, who would you swipe right on? Oh, this, oh, there's a lot of stuff going on here. Oh, eat yourself. - Oh, I love it. (laughing) - I'm just gonna say, I'm just gonna answer Idris Elba to all of these things. So, Idris Elba, although you have a lot of good contenders here, Jesse Williams, Ricky Martin. Hey, you know what, Ricky Martin still looks great. Joe Manginello, oh, see now, this is very difficult. I already made a very difficult quiz. - Oh, I already, you're so cute. - I can't get past the first question. - Oh, which good porn site are you? Who would you swipe right on? - Oh my gosh. - I did Joe Manginello. - Okay, I can't do this right now. There's too many options. - There are a lot of options. - Yeah, oh, and you go, oh, this is a really good quiz. This is just a good quiz in general. - Okay, the book marked. - Yeah. So, okay, so, Jax, what happened? Oh, so Jax went to his therapist, which was hilarious. I love when Jax was his therapist. - His therapist is hilarious. I love that she just like openly mocks him. She's like, you got another tattoo. Aren't you serious right now? I mean, what is inside of you? Like literally, I'm curious. I have to know. (laughing) She's like, more importantly, would you like to see what's inside me? (laughing) Would you like to actually put yourself inside me? - I love this, she just obviously hates his ass. It's so funny. - Yeah, well, the thing is, what's funny about Jax is that he always tries to sort of like do the therapy on himself. He's like, I keep on doing these things. I'm crazy, I'm so impulsive. That's just what I am. It's like, no, Jax, just be quiet. Let her do the therapy stuff, you know? He's an idiot, though. - I also, I mean, my favorite part of the, I don't really watch "Bannin' Pump Rules" regularly. - Ah, I don't know. - You know, I mean, it's these white people running around doing a job that I hated. But I really enjoy these like sitcom-esque antics around James just walking back into his job like he was George Costanza. (laughing) - I was pretending he didn't get fired. - Let me put on my shirt and then the racing over the pump. - Is he really fired? - Well, I just like that this busboy gig means so much. I mean, like, it's not like he lost out of position at UCLA's, you know, like a doctorate position. You know, he was kicked out of the UCLA's doctorate track for philosophy or something like this. Like, no, you, you lost out of a busboy position. Just walked down the street to Fiesta Cantina. You will get another job. - And you're from the reality show there. He's a fan of the show. - Yeah. - He wants to stay on the show. - Yeah, and he has to be on the show. Why else would you stick anything in Kristen? - He's like, Lisa, I wrote you a letter. I wrote you a letter to show how much I care about this position. Like, I really means what? And I think you'll see that this doesn't really reflect me. And, you know, I'd love to get another second chance at this and it's really important to me, Lisa. - Because no one ever gets fired at this job. - Why don't you take a Honda Civic selfie friend? (laughing) - He's gross. - Well, that's the best part at the end. You see him driving off in his BMW. It's like, you're a busboy with a BMW. - Also, I love when Lisa burned in the interview part when she's like, you know, he's telling everyone that he's a good family friend of mine. But the fact is, I don't really know his mother. I met her once at a party. So, he's like, he's, that pretty much sums up that guy. Like, my mom and Lisa once were good family friends. - Wow. - I'd like to say and interject that I have been doing the quiz and my porn site is Tim Tails. - Oh my God, Ben, you power bottom. (laughing) - I guess so. I guess so. Tim Tails. - Tim Tails is one with like, kind of semi-violent guys with gigantic wieners. So good luck walking for the next week, buddies. - No, I'm just so sad that I know who all these people are. Porn sites are like looking at Netflix when you've had Netflix for a long time and it's always just the same thing. And you just keep looking through it, hoping that there's gonna be some movie that you've never heard of before. It's gonna be amazing. That's how I feel. Like, I think I just need to get a boyfriend at this point. (laughing) - So, anyways, being a boyfriend drama, we have Kristen and Tom going back at it again. - Oh my God, the fight over the cable box. That's hilarious. I mean, that is such like a young love breakup. I love it. Tom, I'm just a cable box. And he's like, "But I have a lot on that DVR." He's like, " Kristen." But like, I had stuff I wanted to watch still. - I haven't seen the last four episodes with the good wife, Kristen. - I'm still catching up on my Frasier reruns, Kristen. (laughing) - He's so stupid. - But she is a disaster. - Seriously? - No, Tom, seriously. I'm here with an Ikea bag and I'm getting everything a little fit in it, okay? Seriously? I still love you, Tom. Seriously? - I love that Ariana just sat there the whole time. She's dancing to leave, just watching her like, she was a crazy person while she's watching cried. - She is the craziest person of all, the craziest. I don't understand how anyone could date her after this show. This is like a career-limiting move except in love. - I just remember I read some stupid little interview she did that someone posted on her page a while ago and they asked her, "What's your favorite thing right now?" She's like, "I love on this building out on..." I love this, I'm sorry. She's like, "I love this spray paint art "on this building on Melrose. "It says stop making stupid people famous." I'm like, "Uh." (laughing) - Seriously? - I love that there's no irony in any of that. - Yeah. (laughing) - But one thing I forget. I was always Instagramming that particular light, piece of graffiti, and I found that the only people I ever see Instagramming it are stupid people who are trying to be famous for having really no talent. - Well, the entire idea of Instagramming something, Instagramming that is hilarious because the whole idea of that Instagram is that you're showing, you're basically advertising yourself, you know? (laughing) - So, yeah, the irony is... - Well, that's why this show is so wonderful because it really brings to light all these really thoughtful subjects. - I really love the part, I'm just going back 'cause I just saw this in my notes. Back to the psychiatrist who openly hates her client. I love that she was, she was saying, "Well, is there still anything with Stacy?" And he's like, "No, I mean, no, it's over. "I wish you the best." And she's like, "Well, it sounds like there's something there." And then he stopped and he's like, "Yeah." So now because of the stink that there is, who's just fucking with him, now he thinks he has to get back with Stasi. I love it. - Yeah, and I love that he just was, yeah. And then the scene just ends. - Like he's just totally talked into it now, he's gonna totally go back. - Oh my God, he's such an idiot. We also saw the grand opening of Pump, which was exciting 'cause we saw the other Tom, the other Tom basically is the world's worst bartender. So basically after two seasons of him begging for a job, he finally gets a job and he sucks at it, which I guess is no surprise. That's the theme of the show, that no one is actually capable of doing anything. Oh, and then Shina and Stasi had a confrontation where Shina was like, "You may have found a light wedding." (laughing) And Stasi's like, "When did I ever make fun of your wedding?" I was always very supportive. She's like, "No, I heard what you said." And she's like, "Well, you?" - It's nothing for people without my brother. - That's not my good choice. - Technically it was a retweet. - Technically it was a retweet. - Yeah, oh, that was a bad one. - He's like, "I never tweeted anything bad, man. "I just retweeted." - So fast, I'm not a retweeted. Someone says Stasi is Hitler and is worse than a person who's killed a bunch of Jewish people for no reason. I may have retweeted that. And then I went on to Wikipedia to find out what Jewish people meant. - Also, who hasn't made fun of her wedding? (laughing) - She got married in a fucking halter top dress, okay? - I can't believe Ronnie that you're making fun of sharing our wedding. It was like a Hoosoo of Azusa Bear. - I don't know if I got cross in my front. - I stepped, you know what? It was a Jewish wedding and they made me step on broken glass. I have glass in my foot now. (laughing) - My wedding is ruined. - Oh, stupid Xena. - They made me go into a chair and they lifted the chair up and didn't they realize I was afraid of heights, they ruined everything. - Oh, Xena, Xena. - She's so stupid. - So is Stasi gonna go back to work? What's the plan with her being? - She's got to. She needs three episodes in and she's just kind of wandering around in mom clothes. - She's just basically in shawls and just making comments from the side, complaining how she hates being drawn back in and yet all she does is make a little comments about all she cares about is herself. Yeah, she needs to do something. And Katie, I don't think Katie did anything. You know, they were just all sort of like generally bitchy. I feel like we're missing something. I feel like something happened. - Super fun show, but it was mostly just Kristen. For me, everything was about Kristen and that fucking cable box. For whatever reason, I thought that was the funniest thing I'd ever seen. - It was that she's crying about the relationship and then he's like, but there's some like, there's some Ally McBeel left on that TV or I never got around to watching. - Well, what's funny, I mean, 'cause Tom is so sweet, but he's also so stupid when he was like, he's like, well, you know, what I did was, I like changed everything over to me, but I kept it under her name with her social security number and I don't know why she has an issue with that. Ariana's like, Tom, you have to realize that any time you give her a chance to come at you, she's gonna do it. He's like, no, but I don't think so with the cable box. I mean, she knows, she knows how much I love murder in the first. (laughing) - But what about when Kristen was saying that she pays his bill still, that she's paying his cable bill and his car insurance bill? What's that about? - I don't even, I don't know, 'cause there are two very stupid people and so they don't understand how to separate things properly. That's just, that's just the crux of it. I mean, look how much stuff she still had at the apartment. She had tons of stuff, did that giant Ikea bag? When she came walking out with it, she was holding it like there was like five babies in there. I was cracking up. - Yeah, the really cat person, I brought it back big enough to carry out Tom. (laughing) - Seriously, seriously? (laughing) - Oh, I'm running gag with Kristen is that pretty much, whenever she's sort of like cornered, all she does is she goes, seriously? - Seriously, that's all she knows how to do. So if ever she's like caught, if someone's just like, well, Kristen, like, she's like, (groaning) Seriously? What I like to also, she's still brought it up again. She's like, you know, you can't blame me for being bitter about being really jealous and annoyed at you about something that happened to be true that you cheated on me with Ariana. And he's like, I didn't cheat on you. And meanwhile, she was the one who slept with Jack's twice. Like, she always forgets that. She had sex, he kissed Ariana. She had sex with him twice and is getting mad at him. - Yeah, she's kind of sick. I don't see that ending very well. She could be some great, she's someone who could go crazy and like, slash his tires or cut his brake lines or something. - Nothing will ever end well with her. Like, she can't even finish a meal probably without turning into a disaster. She's like crying over her last piece of chocolate cake. - Seriously? - She's like, where did this cake go? (laughing) - I just thought that we were gonna last so much longer. I thought you were like a forever cake. - It can't wait for empty. (groaning) - I can't believe you made me eat you. (laughing) - All right, let's move on to euros of Hollywood. - So, Ari-- - For me! (laughing) - Ari, you do not like this show. - No, I've watched like five minutes of it and I don't have the time for these euros. Plus, I was seeing briefly this French person who was very upset that they didn't get cast on the show. - Really? (laughing) There's a lot, that raises a lot of questions. (laughing) So, why was your friend upset and you were seeing a French person? That's so exotic. - It was like two weeks. But he apparently auditioned for it and was in, you know, like a next couple rounds or something about it, but they went another way. - They're like-- (laughing) - We give you two croissants out of four. - Sorry. - Which makes sense because he's kind of boring. You know. - He's no Carla Bruni. - But he's like some DJ in Europe. I don't know what the hell he does. - I think they're all-- - I just had too many DJs. Is that all they do in Europe? - It's like the most popular program is Garage Band. 'Cause that's all I can hear in any of these songs. It's like standard Apple loops with some fades. - They're like, like seriously, between Vanderpump Rules and this show, it's (laughing) everything is like, well, you know, I sell carpets, but in Europe, I'm a really big DJ. (laughing) - I like for the end of the song. - I work at Lamps Plus, but in Europe. I'm a huge DJ. - Yeah. - In Europe, we don't have full surf. I'm lucky to be here because in Europe, I was just a DJ and here I'm popping gas. I like to be on a song. - Look at my face, look at my face. (laughing) - With her opinion accent, she's like, she's like, "Welcome to my face, I want you to be with me." - I'm on the top, but this is my face. - Whatever that's on top. - I have a good car. (laughing) - I have to say, I am oddly invested in the show. Like, I laugh, like the show makes me laugh with the way they say all of them. - Yeah, I think it's hilarious. - But I'm also like very into the storylines. Like, I really care. Like, I care about Fawnee and I hate Blyona. And I'm like, I feel Sasha's passion and I want him to do well. I am strangely into it. - Yeah, I kind of want to see what's gonna happen. Like, I want to see if Blyona's gonna become famous. Someone posted on our Facebook page that she's worked with David Foster and like listing all these big DJs that she's worked with. Well, you know that you just have to pay a producer. It's not like, you know, they beg to work with you. They work for Blyona, you know? - Yeah. - So it's not like she's made it guys, just 'cause she's worked with all these people. She's rich as hell. She have like 10 people working on her. They were working on her hair, her feet, her nails, her knees, her fucking butt, everything. - I mean, Kim Richards worked with Candy. - Yeah, I mean, Kim Zolsiak, Kim Zolsiak. - And Candy has Grammys and clout and everything. So if you pay a producer for their time, they will work with you. - I mean, Kim Zolsiak not only worked with Candy, short with Dallas Austin. And he is like a big-time singer-songwriter. Well, a producer, I mean. So, yeah, anyone will-- - A producer will take a paycheck. - Yeah. And the thing is, no, I don't see a big future for Blyona because aside from the fact that her Albanian accent is super strong in her songs, her voice is like not very appealing. It's like, maybe if she were like in the '90s, it would work 'cause it sort of has that like, "Everybody's free to feel good sound, you know?" But outside of like early '90s house music, I don't see a place for her in-- - I was actually, I have to say, I was actually surprised because her voice was kind of good. Like, I thought it was good, it was on key, which I mean, when you're watching one of these shows is really all you can ask for. - I thought it was kind of good. I just don't know if it's good for that kind of music, and she's not even trying too hard for an age group that she is not in. Like, why are you trying to be that kind of a singer, you know? There's other kind of singers in the world. - Yeah, I mean, I agree. I don't see her really-- I don't see her having a big American splash, especially now that we're seeing her personality. I don't think people are gonna like her. And her accent is way too strong. I'm putting my money on Fawnee. - Fawnee! I'm not Fawnee, I wear pajama. - I didn't mean to make it so hard, but at the party, but she was hurting my feelings. - Oh my goodness, I love Fawnee. I really love Fawnee. - She's crazy, but I love her. - She's crazy, but I love her. - I'm still in my pajama. - Your voice just got strange and robotic. And that's actually how I imagined Fawnee's songs are gonna sound. She's gonna go through a robot filter. (laughing) - That's how she sounds. She sounds like she's got five different accents going on at one time. She's like, "Would you like a croissant? "Am I how old? "Do you talk about you all under way?" (laughing) "I'm so sorry, I'm to the dog, my pajama." (laughing) Fawnee, in Austria, people are snub, snub in Austria. - Oh my God. So was this the one, let me see. - Leona, wait. - So what happened was that Leona brought a bodyguard. Try saying that five times that. Leona brought a bodyguard to Isabel's rooftop party. - I wouldn't throw your bodyguard off the side of the building. So rude. - Yeah, that's Sasha. Sasha got so mad. Sasha was like, "I can't believe you bought a bodyguard." That's ridiculous. No, no, no, no, no, for bodyguard. What the fuck am I off the side building? (laughing) I'm getting so mad now. I'm so mad. Don't wanna have my song anymore. (laughing) He was furious. I don't know why, he was furious. - I love that she brought a bodyguard. Wait, hold on, what else? Oh, the best part to me was when Leona was like, "You know all this is stressing me out. "So I went to see my good friend Russell Simmons." And she's like, "Oh, hi Russell. "I'm so sorry, I didn't make a point man. "I know I never do this." And he's like in the middle of meditating in his backyard. But I need some meditation. I'm so stressed. And he's like, "Just say rum, rum, rum." She's like, "Rum, rum, rum, all good. "I feel all better now, like." - I was wondering, that was magical Russell. I'll call you, I love you, babe. - He's just like, "Sorry for dropping by unannounced. "My mother's a full camera crew set up there "and he's mic'd up." (laughing) So sorry. - Russell Simmons, fame horn and yoga pose. - He said, "Maybe I don't care a bit more "about euros of Hollywood if Yolanda "makes a guest appearance." - You know, I wouldn't be surprised if she does. - She'd be like, "Hello, welcome everybody. "You need to learn English, okay? "This is America." (laughing) - She just said it to Massimo. By the way-- - Best part of the show is Massimo's family. Oh my god. - I know. - But that was so cute. - No, that was so... So did you get to that part era when Massimo's family skyped with him? - No, no. - He has like this family of like 12 people who are from like, Italy and Croatia. And they were skyping with him. They look like they were skyping from 1974. It was like a different era on that screen. And once a month they'd put on a show for him. So they all like danced and like did a kungaline. - Drunk lines. - Yeah, and they had like a guitar out and it was so cute. It was like watching those home videos from 1968 of old people dancing around. - Yeah, like the whole family makes a show just for him 'cause they miss him. Oh my god. - A drip. - He's so, you know what, I like Massimo. - Yeah, he's so sweet. - He's so sweet and so destined for not success. - I know. I hope he finds a nice top to take care of him forever. - Yeah, he should go on to Tim Tails. (laughing) - Get that taken care of. - That'll be there like shaking the change in his pocket. I'll be like, welcome to Tim Tails. (laughing) Just reviewing this for my food blog. (laughing) - Um, I was gonna say now I have like images of Tim Tails stars in my head. - Look it up. - No, Massimo, oh, he met with John Hirschfeld, whatever, from two day. John Hirschfeld, I love that movie two days in the Valley. Do you guys ever see it? - No. - It's so good and it was Charlie's Theron's first breakout role. Here's why you have to admire that movie because this guy had the ball to cast Charlie's Theron, Terry Hatcher, Danny Iello, and Michael Jai White, although he was only a brief scene. I mean, if that's not like a dream cast, I don't know what is. Oh my God, Terry Hatcher, Jeez. - Terry Hatcher and Charlie's Theron. - She'll always be Coraline's scary mom to me. - She'll always be, she'll always be low as Lane to me. - No, she'll always be. - No, no, I'm sorry, she should be nurse. - That's for housewives to me. - No, she'll always, she will always be Dr. Monica Delmonico. - Totally. - That's for she'll always be. - I hate, I hate her so much. (laughing) - So just for the win. Okay, did you guys watch Top Chef? - Yes. - I didn't know it was the back. - Yes, it's back. - Here's, you didn't know it's back. It's back and more mediocre than ever get to it. - It's about four episodes in and what's-- - It's too much, it's gone to me now. - I love it, I love it still. And what's important is that Aaron, the biggest asshole of them all, was finally kicked off. - Oh man, he had a bad week. It came out in the news that he had beat his girlfriend or something, so he got arrested for that and then he lost Top Chef. - Not a good week for that psycho. - Is Bravo obsessed with these abusers? - Well, is Bravo obsessed with abusers or has the world just gone crazy? And people are just beating the shit out of each other now, 'cause that's kind of what it looks like. Did you guys see that YouTube video of the guy smacking that girl on the train? - Yes. - And then it's like a man and women fight on the train in New York. And everyone's so shocked. I'm like, has no one ever seen this before? 'Cause no one who lived in New York is very surprised. - But you know, he was, they didn't press charges at the precaution on press charges on them. They pressed charges on the girls. 'Cause those girls, I don't wanna say they had it come in, but they were. - I don't know that you should ever hit a woman, but I mean, they were definitely asking for something. - No, they were, they were pestering him, pestering, pestering him. And then finally she shoved him. I don't think you should hit a woman either, but-- - She hit him in the face with her purse, right? - Or did she just push him? - She did something and finally he just, I mean, it was going on for like two or three minutes. And then finally he just was like, and it was impressive. - And then all the girls started fighting all the guys. - Like, boom, like, whoa, shit. - And then it wasn't even that all the girls started fighting all the guys, but then the train was like cheering it on. So I guess my point is the world is, that's just where we're at, guys. - Yeah, well, you shouldn't hit a woman. And you'd never shit hit a woman. And at the same time, that doesn't give you license to then just go pester anyone, because you know that as a woman you like, it doesn't give you license to then go and like, go after this guy, ceaselessly, and then hide behind that. You know what I'm saying? I'm trying to say this in a way that sounds as least sexist and blamed the victim as possible. I may have failed. - Well, some victims need to be blamed. - Like Kenya. - It doesn't make you fix it. - Like Kenya. - Yeah, like Kenya. Mostly brandy, particularly Kenya. And probably most of the people in Vanderpump Rules. - All Bravo victims need to be blamed. - Anybody who gets slapped on Bravo deserves it. - Yeah. And anyone on Bravo just needs to be blamed for something at some point. That's what I think. - So that pretty much wraps this up. Did you guys have any other random Bravo things you wanted to talk about, discuss? - No, I think I'm, I think I feel pretty good about it. - All right, cool. Ira, let's start with you. What is your Twitter? - My Twitter is Ira the third. So it's just all spelled out the third. And you can find me there. You can also find me at buzzfeed.com/IraMadison. - And cool. And then for us, you guys know us, Ben and Ronnie. You can find our social media stuff at watchwhatcraphens.com. If you wanna support this podcast to get bonus episodes and ringers and monthly hangout, just go to patreon, P-A-T-R-E-O-N.com/watchwhatcraphens. And you can donate whatever you want there. Just check out all the different plans and we'll have your ringers out for next Thanksgiving. - And we have now. - And we recorded our bonus episode already. And on it, we talk about the Kenya Shari Shepherd feud and also the crazy interview with Will Smith's Kids, Willow and Jaden. - Yeah, so it was a fun week. And next week we have Ms. Katie Kazuela rejoining us 'cause it has been way too long since we've talked to her. So come back to that. Thank you guys so much for being here. Check us out at facebook.com/watchwhatcraphens to talk to other listeners and us and post links to whatever you guys want us to talk about, talk about the shows the night they air. I'm doing Real Housewives of Everly Hills Recaps all season long over at Trash Talk TV 2. And I think that's all we've got. - That's it. - So thanks everybody. - Thanks. - And thank you so much. Ira was good to meet you by the air. - Thanks for joining, Ira. - Bye. - Bye. (upbeat music) - If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the internet. The folks behind the sideshow network have launched a new YouTube channel called Wait For It. It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza Schleisinger, slicing, driving friends with it for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there and I still have a hard time with the last name, Liza. Our very own Owen Benjamin, that's me, takes you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes and much more. You don't have to wait any longer. Just go to youtube.com/waitforaccomedy. There's no need to wait for it anymore. Because it's here and it's funny and I love you. - To the insurance company that did me wrong, I've moved on, I'm happily insured with another. Bless your peep-picking heart. It was just never meant to be betwixt us. You gave me automobile insurance apprehension and Geico has come along in just 15 minutes giving me new car insurance and made me as duperant as a newborn lamb in springtime. And Paul has given Geico his approval. That's one thing you never had. Joyful with another. Clara May in Columbia. - Geico, 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance. If you like Watch What Crap Inks, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. 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