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So go to Fylo.tv and check it out for a free seven day trial. - That's P-H-I-L-O.TV to start watching. - This episode is sponsored by DoorDash. - We're back to tell you more about the latest Dash Pass annual plan benefit, StreamMax with ads included at no extra cost. - You know what's a great night for us? Ordering DoorDash and cuddling up to watch the Max Original Hacks, which won Best Comedy, deservedly so, and we'd love tuning in to see not only icon Gene Smart, but the wonderful and incomparable Rose Abdu, who also is a huge Bravo fan. - Listen, I'm always in the mood for hacks, but you never know what kind of food I'm in the mood for. Sometimes it's pizza, sometimes it's a salad, and I can get both with DoorDash. - How 'bout some ice cream? That's what I like to eat with my hacks. - 100% I will double Dash, I will get a salad and then double Dash some ice cream, why not? - Sign up for a Dash Pass annual plan and get Max included at no extra cost. - It's your door to more. Max has now included with your Dash Pass annual plan. Stream Max with ads up to $120 value included at no extra cost. - Terms apply, see doorDash.com/maxfor details. ♪ Watch what crap is ♪ ♪ Watch what crap is ♪ ♪ Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is ♪ ♪ Papins ♪ ♪ Papins ♪ ♪ Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is ♪ ♪ Watch what crap is ♪ ♪ Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is ♪ ♪ Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is ♪ - Hey everyone, welcome to Watch what crap is. I'm Ben Mandelker from bsideblog.com. You can find me on Twitter and Instagram and Vine everywhere else at bsideblog all one word. And joining me this week, and I'm so glad he's joining me because I've honestly had a rough morning and I'm looking forward to just laughing with Mr. Ronnie Karam. Hi Ronnie. - Hello, everybody. - Hello, hello, tell everyone where you can be found since you have so many social media links. - You can look me up on Twitter, Facebook, whatever you like at Ronnie Karam. Or if you're looking for trash talk TV recaps, we update on the rag on Twitter, trash tweet TV. And my YouTube parody videos are at youtube.com/trashtalktevee. - They're soup's funny and of course, if you're listening for the first time, or if you've been listening for a while, I haven't done this yet, be sure to follow this podcast on Facebook. It's facebook.com/watchwherecrapins. Super funny, great Facebook page, which I'm saying not to compliment ourselves. It's really a testament to all the listeners who are on there posting tons and tons of content. When we talk about gossip and things like that, we're pulling it all from the Facebook page. We don't even have to do research 'cause everyone's just throwing out so much great content there. So thanks everyone who's participating in that. If you aren't, I really recommend you like us 'cause it's a great way to sort of enrich the Watch What Crapins experience. - Yeah guys, come on. - Now, the other thing that we started talking about at the past week or two is patreon.com, which is a site where you can sort of donate to the podcast and help us out a little bit. Really super flattered and thankful for everyone who's donated so far. I think we're up to about $340 per episode, which is so amazing in just two weeks time. It's all coming from like one and two dollar donations, a few five dollar ones. When we get to a thousand dollars per episode, we are actually gonna do two full episodes per week. Every week there'll be two episodes of Watch What Crapins. So hopefully that will motivate us. - If we go through a bravo drive spell like this who's been happening, we're kind of, there's a lot of shitty things on. We'll just be talking about like bunions. - Yeah. - And like last time we pooped instead. It's gonna be great. - Yeah, I can share stories about Lyft 'cause I've now driving for Lyft and I'll tell you one thing, there are a lot of stories. And also, if you donate at least one dollar on Patreon, you get access to a bonus episode every week. We did our first one last week and we're gonna be recording another one this week. We're gonna talk about bravo gossip and who knows what else? Maybe survivor, I don't know. Depends on what we have time for. It'll be 20 minutes. There are other cool rewards. Just go to patreon.com/watchwhatcrapins and you'll find all that groovy stuff. Have we sufficiently pimped ourselves out? - Yeah, I think so. I think we begged enough. - Yeah, I think we had a good amount of begging. - Yeah, you guys are new sponsors and you're great and I have main journeys to and out. - Yeah, what's that? - I'm having a baby named Felicia and she's in my stomach right now. No, I gained a lot of weight in Texas. So I've named my new food baby Felicia and I'm waiting for her. No, I'm-- - So appropriately you wish to say bye Felicia. - Bye Felicia. - Yeah, oh, my big news is that because you guys are now my sugar mamas and papas, I got Bravo again. - Whoa, that is a big deal Ronnie. - But I'm still a cheap bastard and did not get a DVR. So I'm DVRing shit on my Mac, like on my ghetto program on the Mac. But I've watched both below tech and the singles project yesterday for only an added $20 to my cable bill. - Ronnie, I am so proud of you and I don't want to one up you, but my big news is that I'm drinking coffee right now, which means in about five minutes I am gonna be off the walls. - Oh my God, okay, my even bigger news than yours is, I've done nothing for two days, I thought. - My bigger news than your bigger news than my bigger news is that I also had a small cupcake today. (laughing) - Wow, we're fascinating. We're about as fascinating as the Real Housewives of New Jersey. - Yeah, I was about to say, so donate now and you'll get twice as much of this interesting pattern. - Isn't this fascinating? Do you like donuts or cronuts? - I heard your segue, I don't want to like ignore it. So yes, we are just as interesting as the Real Housewives of New Jersey. - Wow, those bitches. - That's what the show could just be called. Wow, those bitches of New Jersey. Those bitches, wow, those bitches. - Of New Jersey. (laughing) I just read in the entire franchise. Wow, those bitches of Orange County. - Well, actually, I just noticed that they don't say New Jersey. They just say previously on the Real Housewives. I guess they all do that. But I thought they said like previously on the Real Housewives of New Jersey, so we don't get confused. - It depends, maybe they have a hard time getting Teresa and Nicole saying so many words at once. Like coherent manner, I should say. (laughing) - So what do you think? My first observation this week of Real Housewives of those bitches is that everybody, even the cast is bored at this point, okay? Like their diary room sessions at the beginning of the show, you know how usually they're like, "Well, today I took my niece to build a bear "and we built a bear with amazing!" And right now, they're just like, and then Dina came over and then we went on a vacation. - I had a dream about Dina last night and I'm really concerned for myself that I had a dream about Dina Manzo. - I don't know, was she paying attention to you? - I forget what was happening. I think she got mad at me about something. - Okay, 'cause if she's like giving you love, that means you're wounded in some way, like you're missing a spiritual leg or something. - Yeah, I really don't remember. I think my brain is actively trying to push it out of my memory, but you know that thing, you know that weird feeling, like when you have a dream about someone, and then whenever they're mentioned for the next day, you get that weird feeling like something's happened, you know? That's what I'm going through. - Yeah, you're like, "I can still feel their dream penis inside of me." - Yeah. - Oh. - "I still feel dream Dina Manzo." - Yeah, I'm not even sure how that dream would work out. I feel like I'd just be so bored, I'd wake up. - I feel like-- - And like saying something, 'cause I never wanna wake up. - I feel like just before I start to wake up, she'd start to cry and be like, "Don't leave, don't leave me." - You're the only one who can handle all my pets, and what does she say about her poor gay? She's like, "Is the only one who will listen to me complain about Jackie and Caroline?" Wow, great friendship, thanks. - She can turn to dream Lexi and say, "Don't worry, we'll find you another dream, brother." I don't know, this is a very strange, hypothetical situation. It's like Freddy Krueger, but like, boring. It's like, if Freddy Krueger was like, instead of being murderous, he'd just like to cry a lot. It's like, he goes to people's dreams and then cries and their dreams. - Yeah, he would come into your dreams and you'd feel like you were never sleeping, and he'd just be telling you really boring Dina stories. - Previously on The Real Housewives of your dreams. - She's like, "There was a gigantic penis." It's like, "Oh, Dina, this fucking story again, not again, Dina." - I know that tonight when I go to sleep, I'm gonna have visions of her eating a giant sundae alone in my dream. I'm just gonna be watching her with a scoop of-- - How poor is Dina because she looks completely not happy to even be back on this show. She's like, "Oh, God, what am I doing with these losers?" - I know, and she's also totally stirring the pot. She's stirring the pot under the guise of not stirring the pot at all. 'Cause she pulls Amber aside and it's like, I just want you to know that Teresa told me about the things that Victoria got. She told me, told you guys, and I told the twins that maybe you know some of this stuff, and I just was hoping that you don't say any stuff. It was so like, it was such a stupid intervention. It was an intervention to say, "Please don't intervene." - Yeah, she's like, "Look, I wanted it to come from me 'cause I didn't think it would be good if it came from you, but then she didn't want to hear it from me, and now you're here." Like, "So, were you telling her to tell her?" I'm so stupid. And then Amber's like, "Well, this never left to me. "I haven't even spoken about this." I'm like, except every time you're on cancer, the only thing that's gotten more coverage in this out of your mouth is cancer. - Did you say, did you say every time you're on cancer and said every time you're on camera? - Did I? - Yes. - Because that's all she does. She probably thinks she is being filmed by cancer. - Previously, I'm on a show called Cancer. Real house, the Real Cancer Housewives of Cancer. - The Real Cancer of New Jersey, which is actually the app name for this show. - I cannot stop speaking of cancer. I cannot stop watching her boobs jiggle up and down every time she talks. What is that? What muscle is she using in her chest that her boobs move independently of each other while she talks in the diary? - I think that maybe-- - Have you noticed that? - Maybe when she had her mastectomy, maybe the implant that they put in was one of those dancing Coca-Cola cans. So (laughs) So like one of her boobs is constantly doing that little sort of like dance where it lurches forward and back. - It's one of those talking M&M's. (both laugh) - But not the green one, not the sexy green one. Isn't it gross that there's a sexy M&M? That we don't find sexy, but apparently everyone else in the commercials thinks it's sexy and like it hangs out to your Carrera. - Will they make you horny? Didn't you have that when you were growing up? The green ones made you horny? - No. - And I remember in boys' Catholic school, we take the green ones to see if they made us horny and then like whoever got a blow job. God, Catholic school. I never would quit Catholic school if it was like that. But then whoever got a boner first would be like, "Ew, the M&M did it!" - No, that too much. - When I was a kid, we'd play baseball with M&M's and it was like every M&M that you took out of the bag like counted as something. So like orange M&M's are like a single and tan ones 'cause there used to be tan ones were like a double. And green ones were grand slams if I remember. So I guess it's sort of the same thing as being horny, but not much. - And which were the ones that caused cancer, the red ones, right? - Red ones, red ones caused cancer. - The commie, the commie ones is not popular. - Remember when they introduced the blue one, it was like, "Oh, this is, M&M's have jumped the shark." The blue ones are basically like the Teresa and Nicole of M&M. (laughing) - The green one, the green one is Jackie, the stripper they brought back. - No, it's a green one though, but green ones are the best. And also in M&M commercials, green ones are supposed to be like sexy. So it would have to be like the Danielle stop. (laughing) - Oh, the green ones aren't all dried up. That you're thinking about that raising commercial where the raisins dance around the cereal. - What? Is that like a raisin brand? - I heard it through the grape and-- - No, that's just California raisins, where one has a saxophone. But yes, you're right though. If all the women from Real House have to do Jersey got together in a band, they would be the California raisins for sure. (laughing) - I could totally imagine it like Teresa on like a saxophone, they'd be playing like Kokomo, it'd be totally like Full House 1988. (laughing) It'd be like Full House means California raisins, you know? It'd be like a cheesy video. - Kokomo! (laughing) - You know? (speaking in foreign language) - I wanna take you to Baroque. (laughing) - Come on, pretty mama. (speaking in foreign language) Baby, why don't we go to the Kokomo's? We'll take it fast and then we'll get this. - Oh, that's where I wanna go. (laughing) - Play down at Kokomo. - Wait, you guys, I'm sorry I can't go to Kokomo's. I might have cancer. - You might have cancer. - I might have cancer. - I might have cancer. (laughing) - Wow, we're totally blue M&M's right now. - Yeah, we are, this is the coffee, I'm sorry. (laughing) I imagine if I had one of the twins's kulatas, I'd be crazy in this. - Koolata! - Wait, my dad made me go to McDonald's to get my coffee 'cause there was no Starbucks around and that shit was not okay. I turned it to a cracket immediately. - Yeah, I had a McDonald's ice coffee recently and when you order a McDonald's ice coffee they put all sorts of shit in it. I like my ice coffee black and they put all sorts of shit in it and I was like wired. - Yeah, me too, that's what I had. - Okay, so let's come back to the show. - Back to those bitches. - Yeah, back to wow, those bitches of New Jersey. We had two interesting cameos that I was not expecting. First was Kevin Jonas appearing as Kathy's contractor, which is a real fall from Grace for this poor guy. I mean, here he-- - Really? - I was so proud of him. I mean, I would have been proud of him if they ran into him as a cashier or Walmart. I mean, that's a real job. Like, you know, that's real. - Okay, no, it is real. It is, it is, is real. No, it is a real job for sure. But I know, let's get, let's get political about it. But you know, it's like, his brother Nick right now is looking super hot, has a great new song out. Joe is still looking hot and here's Kevin. Like, having to appear as a cameo in the Real House of New Jersey building a house that's gonna be foreclosed upon in, you know, nine months. You know, like, how could you not feel bad about him? - I will say he's looking better than ever. You know, all the Jonas brothers, you know, they are doing great jobs with themselves. Like, bravo to them. - I think so too, because I feel like they had, I feel like there was someone with enough foresight to tell them, "Boys, you're really cute now, but I've pictured you old and it's not gonna turn out great for you." So keep drinking that water and taking those fish oil pills. - Keep being cute, yeah. - Yeah, keep being adorable because the fact that you're in your 20s is kind of where it's coming from in the first place. I don't know, I feel like they're gonna grow up and not be as cute. - But the funny part was that for the first, like, two minutes that Kevin Jonas was on screen, they didn't give him a credit because the whole thing is that Rose was like, "Hey, why aren't you a singer or something like that?" But before she'd sit that, before she came on screen, I was seeing myself, are they just gonna, like, not mention the fact that Kevin Jonas is standing right here in the scene? Like, how are we ignoring the fact that there's a Jonas brother here with Kathy and Rich? And by the way, he's doing a cameo on a scene of people who are now featured players of the New Jersey cast. He wasn't even with the cast members. - Well, hey, it's cheaper than buying a bus, you know, like a bus bench with the face on it. - That's true. And isn't one of the other Jonas brothers doing Yolanda Foster's daughter, that model who's everywhere now and is like legit supermodel now, Gigi? - Like Joe Jonas and Gigi Hadad? - Gigi, look at how those lemons did for you. You're rich now, famous. - Yeah, yeah. I think so. Nick Jonas, I mean, have you seen Nick Jonas recently? - I guess, like in a picture with her, is he totally hot? - No, no, I'm talking about Nick, not Joe. - Oh, I don't know. I mean, she's Nick Jonas is looking fine right now. And honestly, his new song is awesome. You guys, Nick Jonas. - Yes. - Oh, he looks kind of planets of the apes, he, but in a really hot way. - Like a hot planet, like a hot planet. - Ben, he's super young. How old is he? I don't think you should be talking like that. - Listen, I'm allowed. I'm allowed to talk like this. - It kind of looks like Shoshana from Girls. - I don't want you girls. - Isn't Shoshana-- - Did they just kill your boner? Shoshana is David Mamad's daughter, right? Wasn't she on Mad Men? - I guess. - I think so. - Yeah. - She, yeah, you know what? He does, he does have a little Shoshana in him. He's a little, I always thought that Nick, I thought, I've always thought that Jonas Brothers looks very Jewish and I'm surprised. - Brony Carrom, boner killer. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. - It's funny, we're gonna get back to that when we talk about a singles project. But, so Kevin Jonas appeared. - He sure does know how to do push-ups and look at those lines from like right below where his love handles would be down to his wiener. I love those lines. - We should post a Facebook page, yeah. He's looking, you know, he's looking great. So with the other cameo of the episode, was the cameo I think we've all been waiting for. I think it's the one that like the entire, if not the nation, at least a county of New Jersey probably has been waiting for. And that was the return of Ashley, daughter of Jacqueline. She made a cameo appearance because Jacqueline started crying about her son with autism and Ashley showed up on camera and sort of hugged her mom in the interview thing and was like, "Don't cry, he's smarter than all of us." And you know what, that was probably the first thing that Ashley said that was true. I do think that little kid with autism is smarter than Ashley and her mother combined. Yes, that is correct. - You. (laughing) That is so wrong. - Listen, she said it. - I'm so right. - Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something, if you ask that little kid to choose which water he wants to drink, I guarantee it won't be the black water. - I want to watch Ashley and her mother try and use an iPad. - They're going to be like those dogs that like play those games on iPads where they have to like touch like little bugs. That's what they probably do. That's what they probably touch an iPad. - Oh my. Like patting at it aggressively. - That was so wrong. That shit is hilarious. Yeah, Jacqueline, God bless her heart. She's like always crying, but I think a lot of it has to do with stuff she's not talking about, like the fact that she could be going to jail. Or, you know, stuff like that. - Yeah, I mean, to be totally honest, to be totally fair, the autism stuff doesn't bother me as much as it seems to bother you. Like, you know, I think it's sort of interesting watching the journey of this kid. And you know, he has made remarkable progress and everything, but I mean, at the same time, it's now been like, you know, it's like, I get it. You know, he has autism. - I wouldn't say it bothers me. I just feel like she kind of uses it in a way that grosses me out. Like, in a way I get that it's, you know, like, oh, it's a story of a mom who has a child with autism when we haven't seen that before. And okay, like that part I'm behind, but then when she does shit, like, try to sell black water with her son with autism. Or claim that black water helps children with, I mean, to me, that's just, it shows that she's just kind of a gross person, you know? - Yeah, yeah. I mean, I see bugs, like her kid with autism doesn't bug me. I mean, he was gonna say that, like-- - Oh, another kid with autism on my screen, get him off. It's not that. It's just that she's totally obviously using her son with his disease. - Yeah, when the black water comes out, I mean, cut that black water. I don't know whether I love the black water or hate it because it's so funny that the whole Manzo-Lorita clan has put so much money behind such a shitty product. Actually, I won't say shitty product because I haven't tried it, but such a ridiculous product. It's a product that has such marketing problems, you know? Like, if Pepsi couldn't go clear, what makes them think that water can go black? (laughing) - Well, we see pictures. People post pictures of the beach and shit of people they see with black water. So, I mean, I guess people are drinking it. I was thinking of that, so... I was thinking of that new so-called blackish. And I'm like, oh, I love how they watered down black people to make them palatable enough for a CBS or whatever. - ABC, yeah. - I was thinking, oh, maybe the Lorita's thing to do. - I know, no, no. - And just have like blackish water. - The Lorita's are probably like, oh, you know, you know, you know, we are gonna... I'm here, are you there? Oh, we're gonna have a Ronnie sing-a-long time right now? - Yeah, were you drinking water or something? There was an awkward pile. - Oh, no, there must have, the connection must have cut out, but I'm just imagining the Lorita's are probably like, well, we were-- - Goddamn internet. - Are you gone? Are you gone? - We do sound a little jumpy and skippy right now. - Well, I feel like you sound fine. So maybe, maybe-- - Okay, you sound fine as a Jonas? - Yeah, you sound like that's fine as a Jonas. - Yeah, I'm doing push-ups in my mind right now. - Can you hear me now? - Can you hear me? - Yeah. - Okay. - Can you hear me? - Oh, but I was gonna hear me. - Yes, yes, yes. No, so what I was gonna say was that the Lorita's are probably gonna give up on black water, and they're like, you know, there's this new movie out called Blackfish, and I just, I can't see how it would be terrible so align our brand with that. So I think we give it another shot. - Blackfish. - Yeah. - Our water kills orcas. - Yeah. - If you like blackfish, you're gonna love black water. - Our water kills black orcas and autism. Drink it. Drink it immediately. - Orcas are the number one cause for autism. - I just feel like that was, I just feel like that was the worst advertising she could've done, because she's saying it helps kids with autism, but then she goes back on the show and it still has autism, and now we're just stuck with cases of black water. I'm never buying your water again. - You liar. - Yeah. Okay, so basically Jacqueline, Jacqueline did nothing. They're essentially-- - I don't know what she's doing. What are they doing? Okay, so everybody's what I'm saying is-- - Here's what I think is-- - Okay, I wanna know. - I think, I feel like down the line, we're gonna have some scenes where Jacqueline is gonna get in the mix with the women, but because they probably shot it way after the fact, they have to fix the show. This is all my, this is my conjecture, but in order to lead up to that, to make it seem like a graceful whatever, they are now including all these scenes of Jacqueline, where she really only talks with Kathy, which is also probably reshoot. 'Cause if you notice, all the Jacqueline scenes are, they have nothing to do with anyone else, and even this episode, we saw Teresa talking about, and Joe talking about how they got texts from Jacqueline and Chris, but that could've been, those scenes could've been shot months later, you know? So I think that they're kind of like, they're peppering in Jacqueline to sort of make it, that she's part of the mix again, and then that way when she gets truly in the mix, it makes sense to us mentally. Because I've never seen, I've never seen a non-cast member on "The Real Housewives Show," have so many scenes, and even Kathy. I mean, Kathy and Richard getting full-on scenes, you know, like-- - And diary rooms. - Yeah, I mean, it's like they're full-on cast members again. It's a very strange season, honestly. You feel like they're kind of like, changing it up as it goes along. - Well, they started shooting it so fast to try and catch Theresa and Joe in jail, that they really don't have much else going on. Yeah, I had read that they're shooting all of those scenes after the entire season was shot. So I guess they're putting them in, but then you guys fired them on purpose 'cause they're fucking boring. Why would you show those two again? Jacqueline, I mean, if you want to top Jacqueline, let's talk about gaining 50 pounds. Okay, like, 'cause that's a real story, and I could deal with that, you know, I could watch them. You're like, "Oh, Jacqueline, we're the same." Or then, if you want to talk about Kathy, talk about what it's like to-- - I don't know. I don't think she has anything to talk about. - You know, but Kathy was always like a good egg. I've always liked Kathy's stuff. What's good about Kathy is that she has Rosie, she has Rich, and there's something like very warm about Kathy, and so nothing really happens with Kathy, but I always enjoy her scenes. And by the way, I would like to say, Kathy's mom returned this episode. I love Kathy's mom. And she finally, the first one in the whole season, except for maybe Jim, but I don't want to give him any credit for it, she was the first one to say regarding Joe and Teresa, like, "Hey, if you do something wrong, "you're going to get caught. "It's going to catch up to you, "and you got to suffer the consequences. "My heart goes out to them, but if you do something wrong, "that's what's going to happen." And I was like, "Thank God. "Thank God someone says it." - Yeah, well, I guess. I don't know. Every time Kathy's on, I just kind of get-- - Boo. - Question, here's a question. This is a philosophical question. A lot of the time, Teresa was saying, she and Joe went to dinner at her brother-in-law's house, and she was saying, "This is what I love. "It's family. "No one asks question. "They just accept you for who you are. "Is it better to have friends who don't ask any questions, "who aren't inquisitive and don't go there, "or is it better to have friends who do want to find out "what's going on, what is better in a friendship?" - You mean as far as Jackie texting her, suddenly? - Well, no, I'm just saying in general, if you were in a situation where things were going awry, would you want friends who wanted to find out and wanted to know and like-- - Well, if they want to find out, yes, that's really nice because they're saying, "Let me help you "and be there for you and be your friend." When they're asking you on camera, it's not nice because they're rubbing in your misfortune on camera, you know? - Yeah, I agree, I agree. - Because notice all the people who are bringing it up on camera assholes, it's not like one nice person. I mean, Dina has, but she does not asking questions, she's just like, "Oh, your husband's going to be "ass raped for the next 10 years. "Oh, God bless you, let's make a bill to bear, "whatever her thing is that they're doing." - Dina is so excited 'cause he's going to come back. His body will be in disrepair when he comes back, and she'll be like, "Oh, come here, hang out with Mrs. "Grandma Rinkles." - Yeah, she's like, "Oh, you're missing a butthole. "I can adopt you now, Joe." (laughing) Lexi will tend to him. - Well, why don't we get to the real fun part of the episode if we can say that it is fun, which is down in Florida, where basically, we had a semi-fight situation bust out. Basically, Jim and Amber met up with the rest of the gang, which is like Melissa, and Joe, Teresa, and Nicole, and Bobby, and Dina. - So they all met up. - Alligator's lots of alligators. - Alligators. - But he's the kitty alligator. (laughing) - So, basically, everything starts off like, okay, I'm a civil note, and then everyone's sitting around and Jim starts saying to Bobby and Nicole, he starts saying to Nicole, in front of Bobby, you know what, he's like, you know, I think like a man would make a commitment after 11 months, I think that's what a man would do. And so, Bobby, this is sort of a passive aggressive attack at Bobby, even though Jim's saying, "No, I'm just supporting Nicole." Bobby goes up to the bathroom and locks himself in the bathroom, 'cause he's mad. And then everything goes to help him. - Which is what all men do. - Yeah. - Because they run to the bathroom, they have anger food. - Yeah, exactly. - And so then Amber, Amber's getting furious at Jim, because she's trying to be on good terms with everyone. And Jim is stirring the pot, and Amber's like, she's like, "Stop it, Jim, stop it, Jim." Like, "I don't wanna hear another word about it, Jim." - Oh, you wanna go there, Jim, then you go there, Jim! You go there, Jim! - You go there. - Yeah, but it's true. - Yeah. And then, I think what happens is then, what, the girl, the Jim starts saying real asshole things. He's like, "Well, 'cause Bobby said things about your family." Bobby said things about your family. He's such a bitch, he really is such a bitch. - Yeah, and I hate that he's making me agree with Midget Joe all the time, but I love when Joe's like, you know, normally it'd hit him. But in man terms, you don't hit a bitch, and Jim's a bitch. - Yeah, I'm like, he's sort of, he has a point. He has a point in this case. Especially 'cause Jim's a type that you like, probably lay one finger on him, he's gonna call the cops, and be like, "I'm gonna sue you." I mean, he even said so. He's like, "I'm gonna sue you." And you get rotten jail, blah, blah, blah, blah. - Yeah. - He's really scum. He's like, you know, everyone on the show is scum, but he's like a different breed of scum. - Yeah, he's a bottom feeding piece of shit. Like the only thing he wants to do is start fights like a little bitch. He's like the Peter of this show. - Yeah. And by the way, I don't see why Bobby has to make a commitment after only 11 months. - Well, and also since they met at the auditions for Real Housewives of New Jersey, I mean, that was some gossip that we talked about, I think last week or a couple weeks ago, was that they're not like a real couple, they met at the audition. So he's obviously just dating her to be on the show and everybody knows it. And that's why she's so casual about it too. She's like, "I don't know if I need a commitment." 'Cause you don't mean an actor. I mean, look, you don't fuck somebody you meet in the audition. That never works out well. Before you know what they're doing, like the mind wall in your bathroom and you're like, "Get out of my house." But you especially don't date a reality show actor. I mean, that's the bottom. - Yeah, that's truly, truly the bottom. Well, the thing is, well, I'm not really buying any of that. It's like the men on this show are the ones who want the drama the most. And I'm like, "Ugh." - But every godless, every godless, it's like, first of all, it's none of Jim's business. Second of all, who cares if it's only been, this is not like a three year situation. 11 months, it's like it's a nice chunk of time, but no one needs to make a commitment at 11 months, so I think it's ridiculous. And Jim, he is an asshole because he is not thinking about his wife. These are his wife's friends. This is his wife's show. And he is thinking about it 'cause he's creating drama, but he's not thinking about his wife because he should just shut up. It's none of his business. It's not his issue, not his fight. - Yeah, well, he is, of course, a first cast member to do a full interview anywhere. He was on Afterpuss or whatever, being a bitch. - You do, so. - Yeah, he's obviously-- - He'll be on your next year. - He's obviously more into this than anybody else. - Yeah, I'm sure he'll be on your next week too, you know? - He probably would. We should tweet him and ask him. - We're like, Jim, why don't you come on and explain yourself the story? And we're like, do you realize though why you look like an asshole though? Do you realize? - Well, that's what I'm loving about Dina. I'm loving that Dina, that's the only aspect I'm really loving about Dina so far, is that she's like, you're a bitch. - Yeah. - You know, she's like, nobody likes you. And she tells him, oh, you were doing so-- - Yeah, you were ahead. - Who could, people were starting to like you? Yeah, now what are you doing, you idiot? - Yeah, but I'd like to have like-- - I think that the most important thing to remember from this episode is that to reason that always textuses is people back. - Yeah, okay. - Always textuses people, always textuses. Don't mess with textuses. (laughing) (laughing) - Yeah, she's, she's, she loves the textuses, especially when she gets to textuses, and greetances to people's. - Yeah, she's like, textuses is Walker Ranger. So, Texas. - So the episode is Ranger, just forget it, just fast forward through that part. - Yeah, so the episode basically ended on a quote unquote, climax where Bobby was coming out of the shitter. And by the way, I sort of believe that he actually had to take a dump. Like, I feel like he may have been mad but I also feel like he had to take a dump. Or maybe when he gets mad, he shits out his anger. Like, I feel like that's a guy who frequently has to take a dump, you know? But he can't have-- - Yeah, he looks like he's got the raviolis on a continuous, you know, bring. - Yeah, he had some manicotti to get rid of. - Yeah, he looks like the waitress at the Olive Garden knows his name. - Yeah, he's had an unlimited breadstick situation once or twice before. - Hey, look, when I'm not wanting, when I wanted to get away from a situation, I see no problem pooping. - It's like-- - The only thing is I have to fight with people in my own apartment 'cause I don't like pooping in public. - Oh yeah, no one likes pooping in public is never good, especially if you're not in the bathroom. - Oh my God, I know, like on your seat or whatever. Oh, I don't want to be old. - I know. By the way, here's a plug for my other podcast, The Bantar Blender. If you go back on an episode, I think it's titled something like the most embarrassing story ever. Spoiler alert, it's about this topic. So if anyone wants to hear a story where that happened to me, it's there. - Pooping in public, oh my goodness. - So anyway, that's basically all that happened this episode. Jim and Bobby, they are not gonna get into a fist fight 'cause if they got into a fist fight, we would have seen some of it on this episode. They're just probably gonna get close to a fist fight. - Well, the important part is that Jim, of course, blirts out, well, at least, you know, my wife didn't fuck my mom or something. I don't know, he yelled something at the girl and then. - Oh yeah, he's gonna do it. - One of the twins is like, you are dead to me. You're disgusting. - So at least that shit's gonna hit the fan. That public shit is probably gonna be Bobby's public shit hitting that thing. It's gonna be amazing. - Mm-hmm, yeah, yeah, that'll be good. Should we move on to our favorite hassle I've showed the moment? The real hassle is a mailman. - The hassle is a mailman. Oh, I'd love to move on to the real housewives of mailman. It's been real hard for me not to watch the reunion episodes being. - Oh my god. - 'Cause I've got them sitting there waiting for me and I finished this episode and I really wanted to see the reunion episodes. But I decided that since we're doing this together, I'd wait for you being. - Hey, you know what I call someone who watches the reunion ahead of time? A reunion ahead of time spoiler. (laughing) So, first of all- - Well, you buy so, so you could watch the reunion off of you. (laughing) - You know what I call someone who doesn't watch the reunion episode? A reunion not watcher. (laughing) So, first of all, we have to say everyone. Say hello to Gina. Gina, because apparently Gina is listening to the podcast, she tweeted at us and said thanks for something. She said something like thanks for everything or love you guys. And that was kind of the highlight of the week for me. - Yeah, Gina, we'd love you, Gina, all right. - Here, Gina. - Gina. - Hey, Gina. This is why we love you 'cause you're Gina. - Oh! - Hi, Gina. Here's a little bit of friendly advice for you. Keep on listening to the podcast, okay? (laughing) - Well, it does look like you're gonna be doing something. - Hey, Ronnie. - Hey, Ronnie. - Hey, what's that? - You know what I like to call Gina? A podcast listener. (laughing) - Good one, Bean. Hey, oh. One thing that I'm skipping way ahead, but we'll go back. One thing that I'm loving is that they really go after Gina full fucking fourth and she finally loses her shit and just starts cursing everybody out. It sounds like, from what I read so far-- - Oh, the reunion? - About the reunion. - Oh, good. - Yeah, 'cause apparently she has just like kind of lost some points with people because she starts going off on the other ladies and I think she calls one of them an ass hair, which, I mean, of course, I'm gonna love. So I cannot wait to see her just losing her shit because, you know, in house wet, this is like the tricky house wet spot when you're the one that everybody's been beating up on all year and some people handle it better than others. Like, Lisa Vanderpump is the queen and she came and just victimized everything. She held out and she's still the hero of the entire show. And then you have things like Tamara Barney, Real Housewives of Orange County, who completely wasted that opportunity, or Leah Black, who on Miami really fought back and it was hilarious 'cause she was like, "What, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what?" And it was kind of funny-- - Oh, what was that? - Yeah, I'm not, you know, everyone has like a different tactic, but just coming on and calling people ass hairs, I think is probably my favorite before I even see it. - Yeah, I think that Gina could probably do it quite well because, first of all, she's embarrassed that she deals in fact every day. She does in fact. But also, to be totally honest, she is a lawyer. And so if you're going to like attack a lawyer, Anna from Miami aside, you will probably get destroyed and not to jump ahead too far in this episode, but she and Andrea had a confrontation at a restaurant. And Gina just sort of destroyed Andrea. It was, it was amazing. She just took her down and Andrea really didn't have anything to say. You know, Andrea had a few simmering comments here and there, but, but Gina just leveled her without even raising her voice. - Well, we'll get to that. We'll get to that. - We'll get to that. - But first things first, the episode-- - First things first before the episode even started. - Yeah. - They said this season, 'cause it was the season finale. So I said this season on the Real Housewives of Melbourne, where's Gina? Gina's like, "Jana, you called me a cunt?" - It's like every stupid little thing that they've been bitching about the whole season in one little minute. And it was hilarious because you really see how stupid all of it was. - Yeah, it was-- - Wild, gather like that. - Yeah, it's sort of like a minute that you could watch over and over and over and over again. Hey, hey, Gina, I've got a little friendly advice for you. I'm sick of Gina, hey, Gina, don't walk in my tennis court. Everything is like that. - Amazing. And here's another way that, you know, Andrea is a total cunt, is when there's an article that someone posted on our Facebook, which is pretty amazing, that has Andrea claiming that she quit the show and joking around saying, "Oh, I just quit because I didn't have enough outfits." I ran out of outfits to wear the show. You have to go through lots of clothes. But then there was another article, I don't know if it's even posted here, about how they were bidding on the office space next to the plastic surgery building because someone was gonna buy it and they didn't want like an office park or something going in there because they have celebrity clients, they need their privacy. And so she came up with like two, like two-- - It's crocodile Don D comes in here. We can have an office park next to crocodile Don D and he's getting his Botox. - I don't need people stapling papers when there's celebrities in here trying to get the Botox dead. - Nicole Kidman's maid comes in here. We can't have people see that. - So she came up with like two fake people and was trying to do all the bidding, you know, to like outbid people without looking like they were the ones bidding and they ended up losing the bid for the space. And so she had a public meltdown and started calling her husband a fucking idiot and started screaming and yelling and just having a public fit. And I love it. Where are the cameras for that shit? Because that's amazing. And it just goes to show you that she's an asshole in real life as well. - Absolutely. Well, first of all, my favorite, I think my favorite thing with Andrea this week was that when she showed up and I think her first scene, they showed her walking awkwardly, clearly they had to like reshoot this like five times 'cause I had that awkward like I'm walking on camera, and she was wearing this ridiculous outfit, this big black hat and this like short shorts and like her boobs out and big sunglasses. And she looked so ridiculous. I actually took a picture of it and put it on the Facebook page. And it was like Carmen San Diego spotted in Melbourne 'cause she looked like she was like living a life of crime. Like she just jetted in from Luxon Bora, you know, on the heels of how this all robed a bank, you know. - She's so mysterious. - She's so mysterious. Also by the way, I wanna say Marissa, Rapier or Rapier or whatever, Marissa, I don't know how to say her last name and I'm on coffee right now, so I'm really hyper and can't pronounce this. This woman Marissa on our Facebook page, one of our listeners. - Oh, hi. - I thought you met someone on the show. I was like, who the hell? - She wrote a comment on that picture which doesn't have to do with Andrea, but she goes, just what is Lydia always nodding at in her interviews? And oh my God, Marissa, you are so right. Lydia's always nodding. She's always like, oh yeah. She's like, I'll tell you one thing I like, cheese. And then she nods like up and down. I'm always imagining like someone's dangling a cat to it. You know what I like? I like to know what time it is, mods. I'll tell you what Gina's gonna get. Gina's gonna get a talking to nodding. - Yeah, 'cause it's like that knowing nod. - Yeah, who is she? - But she doesn't know anything. - Yeah, that's funny. Okay, so this starts out with the rock star. - I'm gorgeous and I married you a rock star. - Jackie, Jackie's gonna, she's married to Silver chair. Silver chair, she's gonna have a party for Lamaskarha. Got auditions and burlesque dancers. - Yeah, if they audition some burlesque dancers, did spray tanning skip Australia? I mean, I know you guys are far away and Gina seems to have found it. But what the hell, man? I'm not normally a pro spray tan kind of person, but those girls, I mean, if you're gonna be naked all day, you better do something. Those girls look like the back of my arm. - Listen, I have many questions about Australian burlesque because last time I saw a burlesque dancer, I don't think there was a tribal drum involved. Okay, apparently that's how it goes in Melbourne. So too rock. - There's a lot of, seems like there's a lot of competition, so you gotta get a gimmick, you know, like in Gypsy, like you gotta have a stripper gimmick. Like one of them in Gypsy blows a horn, one of them has lights. They all sing show tunes. You can't just be, it's not good enough to just, you know, have boobs because like 51% of the country has those, so. - Yeah. (laughing) - I'm surprised I kangaroo didn't come in with a little headdress on and like little tassels on it's kangaroo nips. - They're like, oh, I love your pouch. (laughing) Where's your Joey? - I'm firing up for a song, a silver chair. (laughing) - I did a kick. - I can hold a baby in here. I could also hold pretzels. It's my prerogative. (laughing) - Hey, our next burlesque dance is a wall of beat. I came in all the way in from A is rock. (laughing) - It's gonna be the Sheila dance. - It's gonna wall of the tilde in a burlesque way. - Challenge, challenge, challenge. - So there is that. And then I guess they all donated their time to be on TV 'cause they hired all of them. But the next best part was Gina making cancer calls. She's like, hello, darling, it's Gina. And I'm going to invite you to my cancer party. It's been 10 years since I had cancer and I want a party. So let's do this. Bring anything that causes cancer, cigarettes, wine, whatever it is, bring it over with a party. And then she's just pretending like that shit didn't happen like with Janet. She's like, you want to come to my cancer party. And Janet's like, oh, darling. - Oh, I love to Gina. - I would love to. You know, we'd go back 20 years. I would love to, darling. I was feeling so cranking about our tiff. You know, I actually-- - I've been wanting to get past all this drama to you now. It's too much. - You caused it all. - By the way, I have to say though, maybe it's like I'm a sentimentalist, but I actually liked it when they made up. I was like, oh, 'cause they were like my two favorites and I didn't like seeing them fight. And even though Janet's like a little weak and a little wacky, I don't know, I liked it that they made up. - Yeah, I think that holding grudges is stupid. - Yeah, I liked it. And I especially, and I liked it. And then of course, what happens next is that Gina calls Lydia who's at lunch with Andrea, who's in the middle of her bank robbing mission. And when Gina calls Lydia, Lydia is such a cold bitch about it. She's like, well, I can't go anymore because I forgot that like my mom has invited me to a girl's night out and it's like the worst excuse ever. She's like, oh, I forgot. I have a girl's night out with my friend Meener about her AIDS. (laughing) - Yeah, I've got Janet to talk about. I'm having trivia pursuit and I do to friends house. Me and my maid are going up to dig out a tree because she brought naked with the money that the guy I fucked bought her. And we're gonna go plant tree, replant trees and the big gaping holes that she's left on a property. Sorry. - She's so appreciative. I have to go help her out. But then I love that Lydia actually. - I met a new maid. I met a new maid in front of my house and I've got a body trainer, sorry. - I'm having a girl's night with my maid. Basically I'm gonna stay in and she's gonna serve me. (laughing) But the best part was when she goes. - All right, well, thanks for calling. Good luck with all the camps of people. - She goes, I hope you raise a lot of money after all the camps of people that really need it. (laughing) Thanks. Thanks, thanks, thanks Lydia. You're really, really a wonderful person. Your sincerity just oozes through the phone. I hope you tell all those cancer people good luck. Tell them that their spirits are radiating. That's, you know, on account of the radiation. - Tell them I'm sorry what they went through but I'm still drinking Diet Coke. (laughing) - So that was amazing. And then Andrea's photo shoot. - Wait, wait, before we get to Andrew's photo shoot, I'm sorry. So then as soon as they get off the phone, Lydia tells Andrea, oh yeah, apparently Janet's going to this thing. And then these two bitches, they're like, why is Janet giving in? Why is Janet giving in? - Oh yeah. - It's so middle school. They're actually be like, well, you know, that's nice of Janet, but the fact that they're like, it's so like blatantly that they are drawing a line in the sand, like it's an us versus them thing. It's so, it's so middle school. And then they're like-- - No, they're like George Bush. Like if you're not with us, you're terrorists. (laughing) - Gina's a terrorist. - Yeah, Janet. And then I love that they call Janet. And they're like-- - We disappointed Janet. We disappointed in you, Janet. - It's like, oh, darling, I don't care. I just want to hit friends. I'm doing it, I made it clear. I'm gonna, I'm doing it so late to support the cause. - Like, oh good. - Don't leave for cancer. - It's like they're Regina George. Regina. But anyway, so then Andrea has the photo shoot. - Wiping my lips, isn't that weird? Like I'm exfoliating my lips right now. - I like it. - It feels really good. - I like it. So then Andrea, then she does have her photo shoot for her book, which is also hilarious because she is so unnatural in front of her camera. Like, I've never seen, like, it was all, I've never seen more awkward poses for a book shoot. - So she's really, she's one of those people that just needs to fucking breathe. Take the stick out of her ass. Stop getting boat tops. Stop shoving yourselves into, yourself into Spanx that are like made for five-year-olds. You're like, accept your body, accept your fucking face. All right, lady? Because you just, you look so uncomfortable at every moment. She can't even move her face. I'm like, what are you going for here? It's not like it's a good looking face. You look like fucking, what's her buns? - What's that actress that I'm always saying she looks like? - You always say she looks like Gina Davis. I think she looks more like Katherine Keener on crack. - Oh my God, she looks like Katherine Keener with Gina Davis' fillers. (laughing) - It's, it's not a normal combination. - She can't smile and then this photo shoot, she's like, all right, get me with my pistol look. All right, here it is. And it's like this smile. And then she's like... - I go. - She's like, I saw Tina Fey do this one. Let's do this one, the Tina Fey look. I'm like, don't put your hands in the air. I'm like, go. - I'm like, tell me it's Tina Fey like that. You are not allowed. (laughing) I'm like, you are bossy pants, but you're not allowed to equate yourself to Tina Fey. - Tina Fey and I, we both written books. - Yeah. - There you go. - And I like that her favorite look of all was the cold action look and they cut to it. That's like her pointing. I'm like, no, don't put that. Don't put that on your book cover. That's awful. - Oh my God. I love that that's on her website right by the, please follow me on Twitter. - You know that her yearbook photo is the one where she's looking to the side and she has her finger curled up against her chin. Or she has like to her side or her hands are clasped together and she's like resting the side of her cheek on her hands. Like she's doing one of those things. - Oh my gosh, glamor shots. With like the back lighting, you can see the firm. (laughing) Yeah. She's pretty much the worst. So then stupid Lydia comes by to visit and she's like, oh darling, it's so good to see you. And they're like, oh, how are Gina being this photo shoot? - They're so obsessed and it's amazing. - And she's like, oh look me, I'm Gina, I'm standing here. (laughing) It's like, look, I'm Gina, I've got my hands on my hips. (laughing) - You know, hey, you know what Gina would do if she was in front of a camera? She'd try to model. (laughing) (laughing) You know what I call this experience when you're standing in front of a camera? I called a photo shoot. (laughing) (laughing) - And then they started doing like terrible put downs on all of the housewives. They're like, look at Janet, she'd wave her arms like that. (laughing) - You know what Chica would do? She put her hands on her hips. (laughing) - No Chica would they actually remain to you. They're like, oh look at me, I'm Chica, I'm putting my skinny arm forward. (laughing) - I missed that. - She's like, Chica does a skinny arm pose, which she totally does. Chica's like, look at my shoulder. (laughing) Like the best part of me. - Have you ever noticed by the way that whenever Jackie takes a photo, like in the, either in the opening credits or in other times when she's on the red carpet? She does this thing where she puts her hands on her hips, looks to the side and then she like pecks her head forward. She does this little punch with her head. (laughing) Hi, I'm getting a psychic vibe right now in your face. (laughing) Every time she's like, boom. (laughing) - It's my site. - She's turned out to be one of the funniest ones that one I thought she was gonna be unbearable. - She's actually turned out to be pretty likable, oddly enough. - I actually really loved her party because first of all, they got this drink together in five minutes. Like I think it took them like two weeks. - You know, it's pretty much just like rebranded Ecto Cooler with some vodka in it, you know? - Totally, it's like one of those rebranded things where they just call a warehouse and I'm like, put some vodka in the thing and flavor it apple and you know, call it mascara. - We designed a box and he's like, all right, I'll have a day and two weeks. - Yeah, and that's it. Just like every other product that they sell, it's like their makeup is like that crumbly shit from the dollar store, but it has like Gretchen's face on it. So people buy it. - However, it's really good. - How are you? (laughing) - However, it's my bad boy. - How are you? (laughing) - Could you imagine a Australian Gretchen? - Hey, we ever, do you know? - Yeah, we ever. - How we ever, Gina, wouldn't make a lot. - Nevermind, I'm going in a strange muppet place. I don't want to do it anymore. (laughing) Wait, so before-- - How are you? (laughing) - Hey Gina, hey Gina, you know what I call, you know what Gina calls makeup? She calls it cosmetics. (laughing) - So, little friendly advice, little friendly advice. Let's talk about Gina's party first because that's what happened first chronologically. You know what I call that? Going in order. (laughing) - So, Gina has her cancer event. - All right. - Gina's cancer event. I think it takes place, if I'm not mistaken, it looks like it takes place in a 1987 cocaine dealer's home. It's like all mirrors, shiny neon, and it's amazing. It's perfectly Gina, right? - Yeah, she's like, Rick was the first one to bring Denny's to Australia, me, before they'd hear. (laughing) - Coco got cancer here, I think this is weird. - Oh my god, this is called the cocaine cancer den. - I got this off a mirror here. I was snorting something off the cocaine mirror. Next thing I knew, I had cancer. (laughing) - It's so like 1980s, Brian De Palma cocaine chic. - Yeah, that's very like Nicholas Cage resting at home. - Yeah, exactly, and I would expect nothing less from Gina. - Where he must have been on Coke to agree to do a left behind movie. What the fuck? - Yeah, what is that movie? - When you're doing a movie that my parents and my MIMA are begging me to come in town to see the premiere with, you know, you're in a shitload of trouble career wise, Nicholas Cage. - Yeah, but Nicholas Cage has this ability to do a bunch of shitty movies, and then all of a sudden do something amazing. - Unlock your imagination with Audible. 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I mean, that originally started Kirk Cameron. If that is letting you know about the quality of this upcoming film, we're about to see. - Hey, Nicholas Cage. - Hey, Nicholas Cage, a little bit of friendly advice. If you want to be left behind, why don't you hang out with Gene, or (laughs) - Hey, Nicholas Cage. Maybe you should talk to Patricia about how to read scripts, 'cause she seems to be doing a better job than you, all right? - Hey, Nicholas Cage. Next time you don't want to be left behind by the rapture, how about you pray to God more? (laughs) - Hey, Nicholas Cage. God wouldn't have left you down on earth if you had better plugs, all right? That plugs don't get into heaven, Nick. - Hey, Nicholas Cage, a little bit of friendly advice. Next time you want to make a movie, how about you call up your agent and say, "Hey, I want to make a movie"? (laughs) - Hey, Nicholas Cage, a little bit of advice. Maybe you should stop striking the moon. (laughs) - Hey, Nicholas Cage. Here's a little bit of friendly advice. If you want to make a movie adaptation, watch this on another movie called Adaptation. (laughs) - Hey, Nicholas Cage. You should have married Cher when you had the chant. She's still on top. (screams) - Hey, Nicholas Cage. I heard you once tried to raise Arizona, but here's a little bit of friendly advice. Why don't you try to raise California instead? (screams) Hey, Nicholas Cage, here's a little advice, but it causes heart attacks. (screams) - Hey, Nicholas Cage. Here's a little bit of friendly advice for you. Next time you want to do well for yourself, why don't you take your face off and put it on John Travolta's? (screams) (laughs) - Hey, Nicholas Cage. Here's a little bit of friendly advice. Next time you want to read a good script, how about you don't use your eyes? How about you some snake eyes instead? (screams) (laughs) - I'm out of Nicholas Cage. - I can't do anything else. - Hey, Nicholas Cage. Next time you buy some furniture, why don't you make sure that they're wicker? Man. (screams) (laughs) - Why don't you and Chica talk about wicker, man. - Oh my God, Nicholas Cage. (laughs) - Hey Nicholas Cage. Hey Nicholas Cage, here's an idea for you. Why don't you go out to Aya's rock and shoot a movie there and call it The Rock. (screams) (laughs) (screams) - So let's get back to Jaina's cancer party. By the way, here's a phrase no one will ever say, let's get back to Chica. (laughs) That's one phrase no one will ever say. Or to quote Seth Meyers, let's get back to Chica said no one. - Let's get back to Chica. Hey Chica, what do you do today? Well, I organize all these chairs. Look at all these gold chairs, how they're organized. You like that? Oh, you've got such style, Chica. (laughs) - Hey Chica, a little friendly advice. Next time you want to be on the show, do something other than make canopays. (laughs) - Hey Chica, Caroline Manta is not such a great role model for the looks department, all right? You might want to step away from that idea. (laughs) - Hey Chica, how about you grow your hair a little bit longer or a little bit shorter so that way your hair can't make sense? (laughs) - Hey Chica, here's a bit of advice. Why don't you just keep being nice to people all the time? (sings) - You know what I call Chica? I call her a human being because that's what she is. (laughs) - Oh, Chica, Chica's so nice, I really like-- - She's so nice, she's probably the nicest. - She's one of the only nice housewives that I don't want to get by. - She's probably the nicest person on Bravo. - Well, it's not Bravo. It's called something else, uncle, or like, what is it? - He has a bit of friendly advice for you, Ronnie. Next time you make a reference to Australian programming, why don't you learn what it is beforehand? - Foxtail, it's Foxtail, but it's in the same symbol as Bravo, so it makes you think it's Bravo, but it's not as Foxtail. - Well, here we go. So, the only thing that was really interesting that came out of Gina's cancer party is that she revealed she's making a soap line, and she handed everyone these soaps that were kind of like these bus of like a Greek goddess. And I personally kind of love them, I would never buy it, but I just love that Gina has these crazy soaps. And then Jackie's like, oh, it shouldn't be headless. It shouldn't be headless, like, you just got over cancer, and why are you making something without a head? (laughing) - Oh, she didn't have brain cancer. Come on, give her a break. - I know, she's like, she's like, I can't watch the highlands of theories 'cause I always be had people. - That was kind of weird though. She's like, come to my cancer party. I'm announcing that I'm writing a book selling soaps and, you know, have a new hairspray line. - It's like, what? - What? - It is sort of weird though. If you have to use that soap, you basically be molesting a lady's breast. (laughing) - Yeah, you're basically molesting a headless woman. - It's essentially like one step above something you might find at Spencer's gifts. - Yeah, well, I mean, she was wearing a toga thing. At least it was naked. Make a naked in some of Spencer's. People will buy that shit. - Yeah, they would. I bet Jackie would not like going by the Venus de Milo. Oh, I don't like that she doesn't have any arms, hair, legs, that's not right. - Why would you? - Yeah, a lady would be like, that's in the Louvre in Texas. - Which I've been to, she nods her head. I've seen lots of artwork at the Louvre of Texas. Yes, Paris, Texas. - That's in the, that's in the Estelle Getty Museum. It's very famous. (laughing) - I've seen it at the Gugliai Museum. Yeah, in New York City. Yeah, Gugliai. (laughing) - All right, so what else here? Party, party, cancer party. And people were kind of turning on her. So were people making catty comments because I was trying to perfect my chicken cooking during this part? - Nothing happened, really the next thing that happened in the show was that Gina, Gina and Andra sat down to bury the hatchet. And Gina, to be honest, she opened up the dialogue in a mature way and she said, she was basically like, there's certain things and like, I don't remember calling you a cunt, but if I did, you know, I'm sorry. Well, she didn't really quite say it like that. She's like, I didn't remember calling you a cunt, but if that's what was related to you, I'm sorry, which is sort of a half-assed apology. I truly would have liked Gina to have been, taking a little bit more ownership over it. But that being said-- - She didn't call her a cunt. She called Lydia a cunt. She said, I'm gonna go out there and tell Lydia she's a cunt and why is she spreading all this stuff about me? And Janet went back and said, she called you guys cunts, which she didn't. So she's just being, I mean, I know that she's, I know that Gina doesn't really ever admit the shit she's doing, but technically she didn't call her a cunt. She called Lydia a cunt. - But I think it's as Andrea's-- - I mean, I'm sure she has called her a cunt since. - But Andrea's always changing what she's most mad about, you know, 'cause Lydia did it, she apologized for the tennis court and the broads and powder, and she, but then, you know, sometimes, then all of a sudden, Andrea is, what is it, the legal email? Is it being called a cunt? Well, what is it, you know? But that being said, Andrea was like very cold and unreceptive. She was not, she did not go into this in a friendly way. She came out like a-- - Oh, she was ready to rumble. - She had a list of reasons. - Gina came. Gina showed up and she's like, all right, Gina, have a seat, like it's her office. It's not your fucking office lady, all right? - She even said like, well, I brought a list because I, I'm sure it's like a business meeting. This is not a friendship meeting. This is a business meeting. I'm like, what the fuck business is this? You guys aren't doing any, any business together. You're not doing any transactions. Like, shut up and like actually be a human being for once. - Oh my God, that she showed up with a list. That was hilarious. - Yeah. - She's like, he told me I can't, which I didn't appreciate. Like number one on the list. - Well, the best part is so that then, obviously things start to get heated. And then as things got heated, Andrea of course let out one of her classic Andrea jokes and she goes, I hear you're doing a soap brand. Is that so you can wash your mouth at? (laughing) - Oh God, it's just like whatever. - But then Gina had the best response ever. She goes, maybe Lydia can wash a vagina with it. (laughing) - I didn't get it. I was like, what? - I mean, it didn't make sense, but it was kind of like this, she took it to like a really vulgar place. - I think they just finally got her so mad. That's why I didn't like it. 'Cause I didn't like that they finally got Gina so mad that she acted like an ass, you know. She was like, well, wash your vagina. I mean, maybe if it made sense or something. - It didn't make sense. - But I don't like that they finally got under her skin. It bugged me 'cause Andrea is such a weak human being. I was like, come on Gina, stand up. - Well, it didn't make any sense, but I just, I actually liked that she just got so dirty so quickly out of nowhere. Like, it was just like, it was such like, she like a. - She knows it, but it's there, you know. - It just, it made me laugh at that, but. - Like you're gonna call me Volkrema, immediately gonna mention her vagina. - Well, ultimately though, Gina, once things got heated, Gina really dressed down Andrea. And you know what? She had the best response. She told Andrea the best thing, which she says, you can't be the aggressor and not get an aggressive reaction back, which is exactly what Andrea did, because Gina came in with an apologetic tone. Maybe Andrea didn't get the apology that she wanted, but Andrea should've said, listen, I know what you're saying, but it's hard for me to feel like this is genuine 'cause it feels like a conditional apology. You know, this is what I heard, this is why I'm hurt. And you know, I feel like I need something from you and more than what you're giving me. But instead, Andrea was like, very hostile. She rejected pretty much everything Gina said. And then she did, she became the aggressor and so when Gina says, you can't be the aggressor and not get an aggressive reaction back, she's right. - I just don't understand what this obsession with an apology is. Like, what does everybody need an apology? Who cares? Like everybody has to apologize for everything now. Like, you say something somebody doesn't like you have to go publicly apologize. Like, what does that matter? No one means it anyway. Like, she said you're a cunt because you're a fucking cunt. If you don't want people calling you a cunt, stop acting like a cunt. What's so hard about that? How about you apologize for being a cunt, cunt? - Yeah, exactly. You know, and I get Gina's point, which is that it's hard for her to apologize 'cause it validates all of Andrea and Lydia's heinous behavior. It makes you say like, oh, well, they had a right to this behavior because I did something wrong. So I get that too. - They were just making shit out to be mad about this whole season and Gina's not playing along with it. But I did love at the end. Okay, which we'll get to in a minute. But at the very end, when Gina finally just starts playing like them and she's like, you know what, I need an apology from you. You really hurt my feelings. I need you to apologize. And she's like, what for? And she's like, just generally, just say generally I apologize. - Was this at the very end of the party? - It was really funny. Yeah, because at that point, it's just like fine. The only thing you understand is I'm sorry. You know, hurt somebody, then apologize. So apologize, so apologize, you know? Like if you want to play that stupid apology game. I'm sorry, you know, Hitler. I hope Hitler was here because if Hitler was still alive, I wish he was here because he could just apologize and everything would be okay. (laughing) - Well, apology doesn't mean shit. Shut up or any of these fucking apologes. - I know. - Everybody out there in America, in the world, stop it. Stand by what you say, okay? - And even-- - And if you're gonna apologize, do it half ass like Gina does. Or she's like, I'm sorry if you were offended that I said that, you know, whatever, vagina hair. - I loved Gina's awkward insult. By the way, when she loved the restaurant, she's like, well, good luck with your deck of cards with your life, 'cause that's all you got. A deck of cards that are about to topple. I was like, Gina, I love you, but that made no sense. - Well, is that a saying there? Because people keep saying deck of cards on this show. I don't know what the hell. Is it just like a translation thing? - Maybe it's like an Australian version of saying your life is a house of cards. - But the best part was when she was like, yeah, it's a deck of cards. That's a crumble, fucking idiot. - And then the woman, the two people who were eating in the restaurant were like watching, they were like, oh my God, what's happening? This drag queen is pissed off. - Oh, and someone on Twitter pointed out that Andrea was trying to move Gina's putting on makeup move against her. - Yes, I saw that, yes. Andrea is so sad she can't even fight for herself. It's so ridiculous. By Andrea, I can't afford outfits. And also a scream to my husband in public. God, I wish I saw that. - That was, I don't know, I love this show. I'm sad that it's-- - Well, so then we got to the mascara party. - Oh yeah, a little mascara. - And Jackie stands on the thing and she's, and all they have basically are boxes and then all their artwork is done. And then people are drinking the cocktails, but it's all mixed with something. So you don't know what the hell's in there. But I love that she like stands up on the bar and she's like, I did this, this came to me and I got this done. And I just, I just wanna thank the universe because I made this happen with the universe. I'm like, is the universe your husband's fucking money? 'Cause I don't remember you having any money to do this. Like, and then she ended up thanking her husband later. But I was like, yeah, I don't know that I'd be giving the credit to the universe because you basically kind of bought this shit off Craigslist and put a painting on it. - Yeah, I just wanna thank Silver Chair. Silver Chair's a great band from the '90s. - Silver Chair, yeah, I'm kind of sick of people giving invisible things credit. And maybe it's just because I just came back from Texas. But like, we were at a restaurant and the guy cleaning the tables came up and he's like, how y'all doing? He's like, good, how are you? And he's like, blessed and amazed. And I was like, really, that's great. (laughing) - Hashtag. - Yeah, hashtag wow, Jesus. Everyone, every day is like, look what Jesus did for me. I got a new car. - Like, Jesus did not do that. You were an accountant and you bought yourself a car. Stop it. - Oh gosh, well, should we move on to Below Dick? - Let's move on to Below Dick. - Below Dick? - It's for me, it's Below Dick. - Below Dick? - Below Dick. - By the way, this picture on our Facebook page of Andy Cohen grimacing after tasting tequila is the funniest fucking picture we can ever change it. - I know, it's been up there for a few weeks and I think, yeah, it's never green, I would say. - That means to never change. - Never change. And if you don't, if you haven't been to a Facebook page, you should come to the Facebook page, you can see Andy Cohen drinking tequila. Maybe if you, maybe you would drink the last, hey, Andy Cohen, look, he's a little bit of friendly advice. Next time you should drink some La Mascara, that way you don't grimace. - Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. - Okay, Below Dick, I really am enjoying this show, Ronnie. - I'm enjoying it. - Yeah, I'm enjoying it too. - Almost as much as I do. - I admit it, I admit it. It's good. - Yeah, it's been really funny, it's a funny show to watch. - So we had a new deck hand come on board this episode. - No, this is one of those things, like when you go to a small school without a lot of people and somebody new comes and everybody wants to have sex with them, but then you realize probably around Christmas time that that person really wasn't that hot in the first place, it was just fresh meat. - Yeah, yeah, he's like, he has a nice smile. He has a nice smile, nice personality. He's good looking, I'm not gonna take that away from him. He is good looking. - Yeah, he's cute, I'm not saying he's ugly. I'm just saying everybody's acting like Brad Pitt just walked on the boat. I'm like, yeah. I'm like, I'm sorry, Kelly still is the highest ranking officer on the SS hot ship. - Which one's Kelly, the brother of the hick? - Yeah, he's the hot one. - Yeah, he's fine. When he started dancing on that stripper pole, I was like, yay! - And he's so sensitive. - Yeah, that's amazing. - Yeah, that's amazing. - Mm-hmm. - And he's so sensitive, and yet he still is obsessed with Janice, the plainest of the plane. Janice plain and tall, except she's short. That was a literary reference. - Janice plain and short, and obviously using me because her boyfriend hung up on her own face. - Janice plain and short, that's so funny. And she's like, when he gets wasted and passes out, and he's like, can you just lie here with me? She's like, that was a real turning point. I'm like, shut up, Janice. - Yeah, a woman drunk guy wants to breathe his barf breath all over your back, like sleeping. That's so romantic. Settling with Janice. - I like her so much. - They should have a spin off God's Settling. Like, let's just see how long you can stay with somebody you don't even like, just because you're too sad to go back outside. - It's called when the plane girl realizes the super hot guy likes her, and she realizes she should really lock that down. - Yeah, only because she got broken up with, that is so offensive. - She's stupid, she don't deserve Kelly. They need to bring another hot girl onto the boat so that way Kelly can go for the hot girl. Which she totally would. - I don't know, he seems like a good guy though. He probably, once he has his heart on Janice, he probably wouldn't want to leave that. - Whatever, she made it, him cry. - Yeah, that's true too. - Thanks, somebody's texting you, who is that? - As my friend, Matt. And he's probably texting something inappropriate. - Matt Whitfield? - No, it's Matt Goldman, everyone. - Matt Goldman, he's probably like happy Jewish week, man. - Yeah, he probably is, actually. - He's like, what are we going to bench on for a young kid, for a Benny boy. - Happy Jewish week. - Happy Jewish week. - What a week to be Jewish, hey, man. He's like, this is the one week of the year that we can admit to running this town, "Bam, let's go party!" - So, how about that Torah? - He did. - Hey, are you going to come to Book Club? - We're going over chapter 17 of Torah today, y'all. - So, who wants a bagel? So, anyway, what were we talking about? Let's see, so the yacht. - I'm poor Jewish friend, David Bowman, growing up. He was like a Mexican Jew, and I used to go to temple with him sometimes after school, 'cause my mom didn't want to come pick me up after Junior League. And I would go, and I felt bad for him, 'cause you always have to sing the Bible there, and he just sang so off key. And I was like, God, I was singing the shit out of this. If they had just let me up there, but I never got to sing it. ♪ All the hiding in the hind dung dung dung dung ♪ - Yeah, there's a lot of lie, lie sounds. - Lie, lie, lie, there's a lot of, yeah, in Jewish prayers, in Jewish songs, there's a lot of lie, lie, lie, lie, which, for some reason, I really hate that fanatic noise, of lie, it's always sounds good with Bible eyes. - Yeah, I only like it with Simon and Garfunkel, but other than that, I really hate it. - Lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, and even then, I don't even love it that much. Like I like a la, la, la, la, I love a nanana, I love a nanana, but a la, la, la, I really don't like that. - I'm a mmm, mmm, lover. - Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm. - I'm a hum lover, I like the hum sound. Like the mouth closed, you can just feel the tones coming from the back of your throat. - You're like, you're like, turn up that Odeta, let's hear something. hmm yes i just made a no data reference i do okay that's enough that means it's time to move on to below deck so um so anyway so the new this new guy comes on and Amy the Texan who all of a sudden everyone hates is interested in him because he's from Texas too and he likes to kick he has a kick yeah to kick her phase and um she just you know it's fresh meat she wants this guy but then cat also is interested in this guy and cat is the ultimate customer do you have kickers do you ever go horseback right me do you spit do you spit your tobacco in the trash can around the sidewalk it's so sexy do you pick up later on the highway because you don't mess with Texas oh you're from Oklahoma so you're sooner sooner or later we're gonna get in the hot tub huh sorry i'm still doing the bad Australian jokes once they get in to me they can't it's hard yeah it's hard to let it for sure um uh no but so it was really funny because when cat was like hitting on him she was like so tell me about yourself like would you grow up like i'm trying to do her weirding like American British accent so she is British i don't get that i don't know that because you told me she she sounds more American this season but i think last season she had some weird British in her accent oh i mean she looks like she would be British i could see that she looks like an extra like um all of her twist or like one of those movies i could picture in like one of those big poofy skirts yeah bring it like swainy swainy horse she has a demon power of sweets great she has a very British working class face like you know yeah like what i was saying like one of those hats like a Mary Poppins hat like uh like chimney dust on her skin i can imagine her from like 1863 um she's like a baker she she provides like she shows up with a loaf of bread and is like here's a loaf of bread for your journeys something like that yeah she definitely has like a character face because i could also picture her being in dead with like one of those like saloon hookers yes she definitely is like i was a grandma yeah like a governor wants you give us a kiss give us a kiss governor once you come up here to the hot tub on the yacht and we'll get your set governor penny to your thoughts yeah dirty hooker yeah but like literally dirty like covered in dirt yeah but with a musical number involved too like mast uh the house yeah i like her in other words yeah so oh yeah so she's like what uh uh do you like girls who swallow or whatever and evolve yeah i'm hot it used to be fat and then okay here so everyone's like all controversial on the facebook page are like that's not cool of that girl to be you know trying to fuck her boyfriend again listen just because that little texan tries to jump on every hot guy that boards the boat doesn't mean that she has the right to them right okay yes i don't think that that's true the guy has some saying who he wants to bone she doesn't get to just say he's hers because she's the first one who tried to stick it in herself that's true but if they do have some sort of chemistry and if they're having a moment within the hot tub together you sort of know not to come in and cock block you know well she did leave she left but not after ruining the mood well good for her hey look you gotta you gotta fight for that dick on that boat there's not much of it i mean listen you've got the hot model guy and then you've got like what alex peak keeping in the captain no but listen she already she already got bent a splooge on the seahorse pillow so i mean she's got she's got hers already no that's a one-timer look i say all's fair in love and four okay guys you guys have fun yeah uh sure that girl's like i'll sell him first that's like when i go to gay bars with my friend daren he's always like that one's mine i saw first i'm like oh yeah because he's a fucking supermodel of course he's like why do we always like the same guys one because we'd like supermodels it's not like you're picking some like danny devito in the corner who looks like he might be nice like you're picking the stripper daren okay daren not really fair darian um let's see what else happened they uh they almost destroyed a doc when their lurching boat pulled off a pylon which was exciting um and it turned out to be a mechanical error so captain lee was happy he's like i'm gonna find out who left us in gear he's like i'm gonna find out i'm gonna find out let me get the bottom of this someone's gonna get punished yeah and then it turns up we found member last week i was like who's that other guy turns out he is there is there was another guy and he was identified and he was like brian or something and he's like the first officer um didn't something else happen no is that it i didn't really take notes on this one because i just enjoy watching it like i don't have the forgot to i forgot to that's okay why we move on to singles project then ask the singles for all day single project um i will say this i watched it last night i enjoyed it a lot more than i did the first episode i don't know if maybe i got my bullshit out of the way and i was able to watch it like a real human being or maybe uh because i know the characters is a little better or maybe just the stories were more interesting this time around i i think it was maybe a combination of all that i enjoyed it um i enjoyed it too i'm writing emails right now with miss lee a black i'm like tell me about this real hassle as the miami gossip which we'll talk about in a little while yeah i figure um i figure they're the worst i'm reading so um let's see to get guys yes so it's a good show um i did take some notes on this one let me get over there very important these notes it took yeah i think honestly that maybe the episode i watched just like a bad episode i could have just watched a bad episode because this one was much better um the uh which which couple do you want to start with well i just we can go and order okay so the gay guy uh orange the orange or orange little eyebrow obsessed gay guy yeah isn't his isn't his twitter name something like if isn't i forget his name of his name is like john it was like john brows new york or something like that yeah so he loves eyebrows he's obsessed okay so well so he must love the jewish guy then ended up finding two decent guys at one time and so he's kind of trying to date both of them and last week he made out with one but then this other guy who he really likes saw that and so he's kind of like what the hell are you with me are you not with me and it's kind of nice and he's like i won't kill i won't kiss you until you know we really mean it aka until there are no cameras basically he just didn't want to do it on camera which i get well it's also kind of like pretty woman like i'll do everything else with you but when i kiss you it means i love you i kind of met like a guy being so rude um i can imagine you know like you know people are like some you know i don't know how long that guy has been out of the closet i don't know the whole backstory of that guy but i can actually really understand like if you don't want to make out on camera i actually really get that but what i did think was cute was when they were they went they went on their apple orchard date and when they were leaving and they're just putting the the the jewish guy into like the car the the like the uber drivers this old man and he was watching the two of them like hug and kiss and whatever and this old guy who had such a cute smile on his face like he was like really enjoying it he was like i was like oh like i like when old people are friendly to gays oh he's probably touching himself down there below his thing either that or he was just like really excited to be on tv just like yeah yeah do it guys do it so they were pretty cute um i don't think that's gonna last because the cute little jewish guy first of all i mean i've said it a million times on this show two bottles don't make a talk so i'm not sure how that's gonna work out yeah the cute and you know the thing is this the cute little jewish guy i mean he's actually like very attractive and actually his big big bushy eyebrows i thought looked really good on him um uh you know they they they sort of have to yet the jewish guy has like seemed super nice and very smart um he sort of has like a there's something a little annoying about his personality i find just a little bit um sort of like like when he made the apple tart at the end and he brings it and and the guy is like oh my god this is like really do i think so i really really i'm like just to say thank you you know i'm saying like there's that was like a little bit of annoying quality to me well i think that's kind of a running thing with him i mean he's only been on two episodes yeah but from what i get from that he doesn't believe that ryan is his name ryan i have no idea what he doesn't believe that the orange guy who i think is ryan but he doesn't believe that the orange guy is being sincere yeah because everything the orange guy says is very insincere insincere so it comes off as being very insincere i mean he comes to me he seems very nice yes but um yeah he comes off as very insincere i i get so this guy's always like really because he'll be like oh i went on another day but i mean now i'm with you and you're amazing and you're the best thing i've ever met in my life and then i'll be like really because you just met me so i'm not sure about yeah i know really they know they're the really and then he's making out with another guy on national tv so i don't know to me the really is seemed not so much skepticism is more like um you know like a self-deprecation in in the face of a compliment whatever you know it's like it's really it's a minor quibble i think they both are very cute and they look like they will have at least a few more good dates if not more good for them yeah they're pretty cute yeah i'm happy well you didn't see the other guy because you didn't watch last week but the other guy is really cute too i saw he looks like he's kind of like mavisin but not as annoying yeah he doesn't have that bully and by the way if you go this is an inside if you go to our facebook page you can see pictures from inside one of the houses that josh flag is trying to sell i randomly was in it and i saw that the sign outside said josh flag and it is so tacky and so gaudy um it's not a reflection on josh it's more just like i can't imagine how josh is going to sell this house it is so awful on the inside so go look on our face oh that's so rolls oh my god he's sold some hideous home i hope it's on the show because honestly it is atrocious um so let's see the next couple how about the um the girl and the southern guy i love this oh my god kind of the weirdo blonde girl and that southern artist guy i like them um her mother okay so they went to visit his mother first of all in south carolina oh i love her and she's like honey you come here give me a hug cuz she's like i don't know what to do about this she's like i'm so nervous i haven't never been this nervous before my life i don't know what to do i don't know what to say about this i don't know like don't be nervous honey it's gonna be fine has your wound feeling is it gonna be a good bedroom for my new grandbaby is about to start growing in there whoa calm down mom calm down that mom is a little over eager yeah um but i i like the mom i thought she was sweet and they obviously are loaded which is why he's able to be an artist in brooklyn um but you know i like that couple because they're both quirky i like the way they talk to each other they make all these stupid jokes but i love that they can make stupid jokes and they crack each other up and that they have their own they they do their own weird mind games i think i think it's actually pretty awesome well she did she did the same thing that the gay guy did she went on another date because i mean they're on a show about dating so they kind of have to keep dating people and she called she left the date last week she's like um look i've got a watermelon baby inside of me and it's about to start coming out and i need to find a more private bathroom and then she just left the guy there which was hilarious that's amazing and really mean and then she called the guy that she's the artist guy and she's like oh my god it just sounds terrible day and i was thinking of you the whole time and he's like um actually that was really uncool but you do that to me so he kind of girl and it was cute and like they had to make up they seem like they're gonna be like a legit couple like they seem like they really do vibe properly um yeah i think so too i like and then let's see they're okay then we have um who is the dentist basically the two black people who um what's the dentist guy's name again bowtie um the dentist you know the asshole you know the asshole in the bowtie that guy oh oh he's a dentist isn't he a dentist um so basically i'm all i'm erkel but i'm not sure what his relationship is this i actually think he's a nice guy but he's socially awkward and he doesn't say things properly and he also has a sense of entitlement so i guess that does make him a asshole but she is like the ultimate catch she is beautiful she is well spoken she seems to be very well off i don't know what she does but she is like a total catch and he is somehow like as she says bullied her into like falling for him and he invites her out to the night with all the guys and the guys start coming for her and she's like whoa this is whatever and he doesn't really stand up for her and i think it's totally she was totally right to walk out of there and he was in the wrong and i hope he realized that he was in the wrong i don't think he realized truly um i got really i don't think he understood what the hell she was so mad about and the thing is you know when you're a dentist i guess i'm i'm just guessing because i wouldn't know anything about this he'll be a dentist yeah i'm about to speak out of my butt a little bit here but he is a doctor if he had doctor haven't liked but he um or a doctor currency or uh yeah he you know when you're a doctor a dentist or whatever normally you have beautiful women like all up in your butt crack so to actually have to work this hard for for a woman is probably rare to him yeah um and also she's really not easy when he says that she's um a tough nut to crack or whatever she really is like she's very defensive but it's like and i think that that's kind of a point where women are coming to because men are kind of Neanderthals for the most part and i think like look at how defensive gay guys are a part of it so we got beat up when we were kids but another part is that um guys are kind of Neanderthals and it turns you it does make you defensive i mean by the time you start getting older you're like oh god this guy's gonna be nice to me then he's gonna fuck me and leave me you know then he's gonna pretend he doesn't know me next time i see him and gelsons with some horror yeah but that being said though this guy has an advantage overall that something that like goes against that which is that every week she lets us into her mindset on tv all he has to do is watch the show and see where she's coming from or see what she's all about and then he should be able to use that and know sort of how to talk to her how to how to like how to react to her you know she because she's every week theoretically talking about what turns her on what turns her off what she likes what she doesn't like and what what's her person she is that's like a big advantage that a lot of people don't get when they're dating someone and he's not taking advantage of it at all well but it's also a huge disadvantage because a lot of a lot of the beginning when you're just beginning to date somebody and you have that feeling of just total love and you're totally obsessed with them a lot of that comes from what you're making up in your head and has nothing to do with them because you're coming up with this amazing personality they probably have and you're picking up on all these little clues that maybe you've been dropped during the dating period and you're thinking that this is this perfect person in your mind and that's why it always takes relationships a couple years to suck because you have to really start seeing someone for who they are and not for who you want them to be and i think he's probably just like oh my god this woman he's he's seeing all of her insecurities where normally it would take him a lot longer to get to that point yeah that's true too either way i think that she is way out of his league and that he uh should he should come correct next time and he should learn that uh he had better not let things go for two days without talking to her like you've got to like he is so lucky to have her that he and he should always remember that and he better change it up next time well it's hard for me to be interested in them i think she needs to loosen the hell up because she's beautiful and i get confident but she's too she's too lillith for me but oh i love a lillith girl yeah i don't i can't have that but um last week they went away together and they left their cell phones at home and it was just them those two on a relaxing weekend in the half i think it was in the haptons or something and they rented this house and walked on the beach and neither one of them had a thing to say yes the most boring shit i've ever sat through i was like oh my god i never actually believed that they had any chemistry i kind of feel like the producers sort of pushed them together to be honest well i think he sees somebody beautiful she was ignoring him and that made him like her more and then he finally got her attention but they don't really have much to talk about but now they've got all this pressure from people on the tweeter and i don't know i don't think there's any hope for them i think that there's hope for them individually i mean they both seem nice yeah i think they'll go on a few more dates but you can have a i think it's a bad sign when you have a fight like that so early in the relationship so i'm and he's already calling her his girlfriend like no it's over yeah um then we have tabasam tabasam speaking of defensive 40-year-olds tabasam is that same thing where i think she's just it's almost like you work so hard to be beautiful to a man but then you're attracting the wrong kind of men because you look like a blow-up doll and then you get offended that they're not respecting you but your kind of whole existence is about pleasing them which i then she goes but she goes on a date with a very charming british man and i thought they were like very cute together and i was like oh finally she found somebody and then she's like i don't know i wouldn't say that there was a lot of chemistry there i'm like okay i'm i'm enough with you enough i'm no i'm walking away from you balsamak or tabasam or whatever her name is yeah she's i mean i'm glad she's dating someone her own age that was funny when she's like i'm gonna just date someone my own age instead of going for younger it's like 33 yeah i was like that is not your age girl um but you know her friend that we saw her friend and look i don't care it's not like i'm some spring chicken i just think it's funny that no one can say their age like everyone's so ashamed i mean i see someone who's 23 and i'm like they probably are still telling poop jokes you know and there's nothing wrong with being 23 either it's like why are we also fucking worried so what everybody ages get over it okay but anyway her i just don't like i think that she's too defensive to find anybody right now and she's too focused on stupid things she's made herself look ridiculous to look hot to men and then she's always trying to date someone she thinks is like physically hot which never works out because they're always trying too hard to be hot which means they're still trying to fuck off the world i don't know it's just very confusing i don't know what's wrong with her but i know that i can barely stand her and i usually like girls like that yeah uh yeah i i do hang up on me i was texting right now i was listening to you i was listening to your whole bullshit you are as writing an email or something i am not i am not no i was doing do i think that she i don't know i'm not interested in tapasim really i i find i don't know she's like i don't dislike her i mean i like her she just seems like one of those girls that i've been on the phone with for hours of my life exactly listening to their crap and i don't want to change their crap anymore that's that's the thing it's like like you give them advice and then they don't take it and then they wonder what's wrong they're like you know i never mind with you that's what i thought you'd date it yeah you dated a guy you met in little armania who's an ex gogo boy and is now studying to be like a paralegal and you boned him the first night and then he didn't call you and you're curious as to why come on i i think that basically if at 41 she's just starting to realize that maybe she should date people her own age i think you know what tapas tap whatever your name is just enough go away yeah i think you need to i think you need to take off your eyelashes stop putting fillers in take off the weave just become like a normal good i mean because she's still beautiful it's not like she's gonna be ugly without all that clown crap she gives me a little girl she's just trying too hard anytime you try to look like a blow-up doll all of the guys gonna want to do is stick his dick down your face okay that's it she gives me a little bit of marisole patent i really get i get some arisole patent off of her yes entitled and delusional no like i hope physically physically i think she looks like marisole yeah um all right well um i think we've covered all the bases on the singles project i don't know how it did in the ratings maybe it'll come back by the way i asked um i asked matt would field or old your friend matt would field i asked him how mel bern is doing the ratings and he said he didn't know because it's not in prime time and i said well it do you think it'd be the sort of thing that maybe bravo would move to prime time and he said no so yeah because they're not owned by the same they're owned by the same like mate like umbrella corporation but they don't make the same money off mel bern that they would off of one of their own they should have they should move it to prime time at least to give us something it's the best one they've got right now yeah i think yeah there's a lot of not a lot of press but like if you i think e online wrote something to that effect it's the best housewise but there are like articles out there that say that so anyway um thank you all for listening we are going to go do a bonus episode now again if you want to hear the bonus episode please support us on patreon.com patreon.com/watchforcrapins if you donate a dollar per episode you get access to the bonus episode and you can put a cap on your donations that way you're not donating like huge amount per month you can put a cap so you'll only donate one dollar per month we don't care oh and just one quick thing about that um we're still having trouble figuring out how to actually download from the page so what we did was we made it a private sound cloud file so just when you go to our patreon page and sign up just be sure to go to our activity feed and you'll see all of our fresh posts there yeah uh and and just a heads up the activity feed it's a little link towards the top of the page unfortunately i think patreon may they're they're sometimes just like a little tricky to find the activity feed but if you look it's there and you'll once you see it you'll always know where it is yeah but it'll be up there the same day as the podcasters yeah yeah so we're gonna go record that right now we'll talk about gossip and who knows what else so thanks everyone this is what a what a fun delightful episode ronnie with a fun time yeah that will spend time so the bonus episode we'll be talking bravo gossip evil dick gossip and possibly some survivor stuff yeah so we'll see you guys on flip side bye facebook.com forward slash watch more crappins hi if you like listening to comedy try watching it on the internet the folks behind the side show network have launched a new youtube channel called wait for it it's got interviews with comedians like regi wats tat glass lies a slice finger slicing drab and friends with it for 10 years one of the funniest people out there and i still have a hard time with the last name our 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