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So go to Fylo.tv and check it out for a free seven-day trial. - That's P-H-I-L-O.TV to start watching. - This episode is sponsored by DoorDash. - We're back to tell you more about the latest Dash Pass annual plan benefit, StreamMax with ads included at no extra cost. - You know what's a great night for us? Ordering DoorDash and cuddling up to watch the Max Original Hacks, which won Best Comedy, deservedly so, and we'd love tuning in to see not only icon Gene Smart, but the wonderful and incomparable Rose Abdu, who also is a huge Bravo fan. - Listen, I'm always in the mood for hacks, but you never know what kind of food I'm in the mood for. Sometimes it's pizza, sometimes it's a salad, and I can get both with DoorDash. - How 'bout some ice cream? That's what I like to eat with my hacks. - 100% I will double Dash, I will get a salad and then double Dash some ice cream, why not? - Sign up for a Dash Pass annual plan and get Max included at no extra cost. It's your door to more. Max has now included with your Dash Pass annual plan. StreamMax with ads up to $120 value included at no extra cost. - Terms apply, see DoorDash.com/Max for details. - Don't let someone steal your great idea. Register a domain name now and put your idea online. GoDaddy is offering one new or transfer.com for the low price of 295, whether you're building your dream business or starting a website for fun. - Is it goDaddy.com and enter WWC295, that check out. It's go time, some limitations apply, see website for details. Again, the code is WWC295, get it? 'Cause it's like watch what crap is 295, 'cause it's $2.95 for whatever you're gonna buy. Well, it has to be a new.com or transfer. - Oh, I just got that. I'm glad you explained it. - Yeah, it's not so. So original, why don't you just start a website about how original that deal is? So everyone, goDaddy.com, WWC295, and you get a new or transfer.com for the low price of 295. (upbeat music) - Hey everybody, welcome to Watch What Crap Is. The podcast about all the crap we love to talk about on Bravo. I'm Ronny Karam from Trash Talk TV, and I'm with Ben Mandelker, who's from BsideBlog.com. Hello, Benjamin. - Oh, hi, Ronny, how's Texas? - Oh, it's just hot. Actually, it's getting better. Lots of fat white people. It's nice to feel thin and dark again. I feel Lebanese here, I feel very cultural. - Yeah. - I feel not thin, but not like the guy with the hunchback and the bell tower. - Whatever. - Oh, man. Sorry about that. - It's always good too. It's always good for a quasi motor to come down for the tower. - Yeah, so I feel good about that. Welcome everybody. You can find us on social media. Just search Ronny Karam. You can find me anywhere really. I had to find anything for Trash Talk TV, the recaps, et cetera. Real funny, recaps going on right now. Trash talktv.com. You can also find us on Twitter at Trash Tweet TV. You can find me on YouTube at trash talktv.com. Or slash Trash Tweet TV. Oh, sorry, Trash Talk T-E-E-V-E-E. And that's where we're doing big brother in two minutes videos tonight. It's the last one. So tomorrow is gonna be a little late published 'cause I'm in Texas, but it'll be a real fun video of the entire season in two minutes. You can also find Ben, B-side, at B-side blog. You can find him there on Twitter. You can find him there on Instagram. You can find him there on Grindr. You can find him there on Duolingo. If you want to know what languages he's learning, come on, find him. - That's right. Action Duolingo on Bendelker. I mean, I don't know if anyone cares. And on top of that, I haven't used it in several months. I have gone lax with my German learning. I'm sorry to say. - Oh, you were learning German? God, you're a dude, dude. Do you just want to be able to say, no, please stop it next time or what? - Nine, nine, nine, nine, kind sex, kind sex. - But we'll say to you, so why am I starting with the Holocaust? - Because I'm around my mother. - I was starting with in a rapey place. I was saying, no, no sex. (laughing) - German schiza videos. - Wow, we're running out, we're just bursting out of the gate right here. - Just bursting out of the gate and all in an Australian accent. - Yeah. So that's where you can find us on social media. We do have a subscription now. You can find that at Patreon. That's P-A-T-R-E-O-N, Patreon. So patreon.com/watcher@crapins. If you subscribe, there's a lot of different incentives to subscribe per episode. We're doing a bonus episode for the base level subscribers. So that starts today. We'll be doing up this bonus episode today. After this show, we'll be talking big brother and lots of gossip. - Yeah, and if you want to hear that episode, if you have already subscribed, you actually have to go to Patreon to hear it. We're gonna upload it to Patreon. Hopefully it will be a smooth process. I have to say personally, I'm like very excited. We are already up to 83 patrons and we're already up to $172 per podcast episode, which is, I can't even believe it's only been a week since we announced it. And I am honestly like really floored. - I am too, I cannot believe it. And thank you everybody so much because that means we're actually professionals and we won't be cooking during the podcast or doing this in bed like we are today. - Yeah, I hope we didn't leave you to believe that the podcast actually becomes professional once we do because I am in my bed in a guest room at my parent's house in my underwear and Ben's cooking things for a dinner party. - Well, I have actually, nothing is cooking right now. The stove is, the stove in the oven are off, but I am just in from the gym and I'm just in sweaty tank top looking disgusting, not camera ready for sure. So thankfully this is just an audio podcast. - Thankfully we're not making enough money yet to be doing the promised camera podcasts. - Yeah, but yeah, right now you can donate a dollar per episode or it's, I think it's a dollar per episode or two dollars or five. - Yeah, just go one two or five or something. - Yeah, I mean eight. - So they're four and you don't, the episodes will stay free. So all the, there's just more on top if you subscribe. - Okay, I think bonus content and we may come up with some more perks to more incentives for rewards for other donations. But I honestly, I really have to say a huge thank you because it really means a lot. I think, I'm gonna assume for you too, Ronnie, that people donate because it, you know, this is, it does make me feel even more like we are sort of like doing the right thing in the sense of like, there are times I'm like looking at my bank account, looking where I am in life and I'm like, should I really be devoting all this time to podcasting? Is this really what I should be doing? But to see that I can actually, you know, or we can actually earn some money off of it, you know, it makes me, makes me feel like, yes, we are doing the right thing. - Yeah, I went to the dentist today here in Texas 'cause that's the only time I'm like forced to take care of myself. My dad's like, I made you a dentist appointment, great. So she was telling me off 'cause I never go and I knew the crown and I don't wanna get it. And I'm like, I'm, you know, I'm like a, she said, what do you do? And I said, well, I do a podcast and I run a website that makes fun of TV shows and like, tonight I'm gonna be making this big brother one where I do all the voices and stuff. And then we watch all the real housewives shows and she said, well, that's actually kind of a little dream life, isn't it? And I was like, you know what, lady? What a lovely way to look at it. So I'm living off chucky cheese and, you know, water. - Yeah. - Still, it is a fun life. So everybody, thank you, Trio. - Thank you. Thank you. - Thank you for helping me to support my mother so fully because I actually get off on it. So thank you all. - It goes a long way. We really, really do appreciate that. So enough of us. - Enough of our crap, like that was 20 minutes of us lying about Blahness. - We're so awful sometimes. - Oh, gosh. You know, at least we'll never be awful as the gays on grabs. That wasn't even a segue. Let's talk about the real housewives in Melbourne first. I haven't feeling that a lot of people want watching that, you know, because it's on Saturday morning. So why would you be watching it? But, you know, it's fabulous and you should watch it. - Yeah, you know what I have to say? When the season began, you know, I enjoyed it because I liked hearing all the accents and the women all look like drag queens. But I wasn't actually wrapped up in the drama. I was just sort of like, I actually thought the episodes were a little dull. But let me tell you something. I am fully invested now. I am in the middle of this. Gina versus the girls feud. And I have taken aside Team Gina all the way. - Well, yeah. I mean, it's kind of an obvious side to take 'cause she really hasn't done anything except be like fabulous and call people clients, which I mean, we can get behind. - Yeah. - What was actually nice this week was that we saw Gina going on a date. So we saw sort of like a softer side of Gina, which is not unlike the softer side of Sears. And what I really liked is that she met with this woman. - It may be a little bit scratchy on your skin, but, you know, on a cold night, it's still real comfortable to cuddle with. - You know, it's like going from steel wool to regular wool. You know, it's still gonna itch, but at least this time it won't actually bleed. But I thought it was funny how she went to a matchmaker. And she like had these random requests. She's like, I don't wanna go over this alive a problem. No saliva problem at all. - It'll be hard to either cross from a guy with a saliva problem. - I don't think I can look at a saliva problem. Too much saliva, too much saliva on the plate. - Well, she also said he can't have his thumb sticking out 'cause I really don't like that. You know, I mean, people with their thumb sticking out are a bit slow. - I was like, is that slang? Is that slang for like someone who's like autistic or something? - Well, I felt so bad for the lady across from her because of the accent, I thought Gina said gums. And you know, 'cause some people don't like giant gums, but I was like, Gina, hello, look at here, talking to like, she's talking to a gummy lady. - It would have been funny if they cut to the matchmaker and she had her thumb sticking out with drooling and her thumbs were showing. She's like, all right, I think I can find someone like that. Like, these sheels certainly have a lot of... - I never mind, my accent just got crazy. My accent suddenly went southern. That's my problem. With yours, I think yours goes sometimes British and mine sometimes goes southern. - Mine sometimes goes British and then it goes to Mexican and then it goes back into Texan and then it goes back into Real Housewives and Melbourne. But you know what, it's getting better by the day 'cause I talk like this a lot and here in Texas, I'm talking like this to people and they just look at me like, I'm crazy and just pretend it's not happening. - Just tell them you're from Melbourne. (laughing) Just say, hi, I'm Ronnie from Melbourne. - Well, it's my own family, so I can't really do that. They just look at me like, why are you doing that? And then they learn not to ask because then I tell them the story of, oh, I'm watching this show called The Real Housewives of Melbourne. Everyone's mean to Gina and she went on a date with a guy and then someone wrote an open letter about her online. It's all very scandalous. They're like, that's great, Ronnie. So, college still sound like a good idea. (laughing) I'm still afraid of college. - I'm gonna tell, I'm gonna go hang up my friend Sheikah right now. (laughing) Hang out, Sheikah. I'm gonna go look at my friend Sheikah. - I'm gonna hang out with my friend Sheikah. She's got a neck like a sleeping bag and it always makes me feel real confident in public. (laughing) - Oh, hairstyle looks like a cocktail. Someone's trying to keep the Caroline Mantle look alive. So, I'm trying to show her my support. - I really like when she has parties, the lesion, yeah. - I love when she has parties named out of diseases, you get in human happiness all to them. - I love when she takes me to advance openings to West Elm. (laughing) - When she takes me to advance openings to the Eagle, right? (laughing) - Yeah, so they have like a special opening this weekend of West Elm, which has come to Australia from the States and they're so excited. They're like, look at all these, look at placemats. Look, plastic placemats. - Wow, classy, we'll take 20. (laughing) - Well, have you guys not had Target yet because you'd be pooping on the floor? - Yeah, well, I'll just say they can go to West Elm for a bit of a shop, you know? - A bit of a shop. - Oh, so funny, it's like their fancy store. - Chico was up to a lot of shenanigans this week 'cause she kept on trying to force Gina and Andrea together. I think she did like at least two times, maybe even three, where she surprised the two at the minute social environment. (laughing) - The first was like the shop at West Elm, then there was like the doggy party. You know, I'm surprised that she hasn't like arranged like a sauna date and then the three of them are sitting there. - Yeah, there was a doggy party and they all got to triumph. They all got to try and close and who is the one with that, the dog? Oh yeah, the psychic. - Shine, shine, shine, shine. - Shine, shine, shine. - She's like, oh, this is Planet Churak. Everyone has a dog party. Where I come from, they don't have dog parties. - Well, we have big dogs, you know, but we don't have dog parties, I'm from Newcastle. (laughing) - Well, I actually have to say, normally I hate like the little dog shit that comes on Bravo, like on marriage medicine when Quad had her doggy design. Like every time that they-- - Oh man, you, that is my life, that is my heart, man! - Are we in the hood? Are we in Pups and Paris? (laughing) But like, so normally I find it really like annoying, but I have to say, this was the first time that they had some sort of like little doggy thing where I was laughing out loud because those costumes were hilarious. Was the name of Lydia's dog again? Dog is like Alfredo or like Fradorico? - I don't know, the big news here was her maid, but go ahead, we'll stick with her dog for a sec. - Well, just for a sec, and then we'll go to Joanna. But no, her dog, it was like this, they put the dog in some weird like Renaissance costume and I was like laughing out loud and there's one dress like a butterfly and one dog was dressed like Batman. I think was Gina's dog was dressed like his Batman. I have to say, I'm not a dog person. I am not into little dog stuff on Bravo, but that was cracking me up. That was one of the highlights of the show for me. - Yeah, that was super cute. I'm looking here to see what else went. I didn't write anything down for Pooch Patty. - No, no, that's all that happened at the Pooch Patty. It's if that Andrea, Andrea tried to avoid Gina. She's like, I don't care if she's, I don't care if I ever have to talk to her. - Well, she should be afraid because she can't actually have a normal conversation with her where she doesn't get owned. - Well, by the way, Andrea also launched a few more of her classically terrible jokes, but I think at the Pooch part, she says, "My dog's a spoiled little bitch." Well, she is a female dog. I'm like, "Yes, Andrea, we get the joke." You know what I call my dog? Call her a bitch because she's a female dog. - But she didn't even call her a bitch, did she? - No, she called her a spoiled little bitch. - Oh, I hate that one. - I hate to call my dog an animal with four legs. - You know what my dog does? It breathes a lot. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. - You know what my dog loves to eat? - Dog food, she's a dog. - You know, genius just like my dog because my dog likes to breathe and so does Gina. (giggling) - Gina's like a human version of my dog is that she walks and so's my dog. They both like to walk a lot and go to bed. - Sometimes my dog's like Gina because she just goes around the block a lot. (giggling) - Gina sort of like my dog. They're both women. - Well, she's a dog. (giggling) - She's the dumbest fucking human being. I love how she's just trying to be so bitchy but she can't even find a way to do it. Like in West Elm, the girls are talking to Gina and Gina's like, girls gather round. I wanna have a cancer party 'cause I got over cancer 10 years ago and I wanna have a party where we all eat red dye and drink diet coaps and just, you know, say fuck you to fake. And the girls are like, oh, we'd love to. And then Andrea sees them talking so she gets all mad. So she gathers the girls. She's like, gather round girls. I wanna do a day where I take you to the spa and I do love them. (giggling) - I know, it would get lots of facials to give up. And they're like, I know that sounds lovely. And I'm like, okay. So Gina is asking them to a cancer party and you're gonna have to pay for a spa day. I think Gina won this round, you dumb bitch. - Yeah, Gina certainly did. And by the way, fucking Lydia, right? Because Gina says this thing and Lydia's like, well, are you gonna avoid Andrea? And Gina's like, well, no, I don't, I don't think so. And then there's a-- - Wait, can we hide the woman who's standing on the opposite side of the store from you and giving you dirty looks not speaking to you and turning around every time you come near? (giggling) And she's like, no, I don't think so. She's like, you need to get over it. - You need to get over it. But meanwhile, Lydia does not say that to Andrea. And by the way, who is the first person to not invite Gina someplace? - It was Andrea when she had the red carpeted opening to whatever that plastic surgery place is that her husband has, you know? So that was what I thought was hilarious when it came out later when Andrea found out that Gina was having some sort of girls' night in party and then was mad about it. And she's like, well, that's it. I'm not inviting to Gina to anything else. But I'm like, no, you already did not invite her. You already disinvited her from a function. You don't get to act like you were the victim here. - Oh yeah, so I pull that. It's a last draw. - It's a last draw. What's the last straw you idiot? Okay, what was the first straw? She was late, she was late somewhere. Well, first she was late and then in the bathroom she says someone was writing a book about a vagina and then she said the seaweed. And now she's not inviting me to a cancer party. Who wants to be bitched at at their cancer party? - Exactly, that's exactly. And you know, Gina had a perfectly good response where she was to say, you know, she's someone that I was like, that I was open with. When I talked to her about my cancer and I cried with her and now she's come and been like aggressive towards me and like, you know, sort of like, I don't feel comfortable with her. You know, she's basically saying this is a personal thing for me and why would she invite Andrea? - Yeah, here's Andrea's speech at the cancer party. - Hello everyone, I'd like to thank, I'd like to thank the hostess for having such crappy wine that I'm drinking my own that I brought in my purse. And I'd like to say, you know, Gina had a battle with cancer and Gina won. So next time, let's root harder for cancer. Thanks for having me. Do you have any better food? 'Cause this food sucks. (laughing) - You know what I call this cancer party? I call it a party for cancer because all I want to do is party and think about cancer. - You know, I'm calling this a party for cancer 'cause it's the only person who wasn't invited that I really wanted back. - You know what I like to do? I like to dress up in my doily dress and go to cancer parties. And when I'm not invited, I get mad. You know who else gets mad, mad people. (gasping) - You know what causes cancer? Madness. And if I get cancer 'cause I got mad, Gina's gonna die. (giggling) - You know who's gonna need some chemotherapy? Gina, 'cause your cancer's gonna come back. (laughing) She's such a bitch. - So I would like to discuss before we move on. - Yeah. - 'Cause I brought it up last week, but we didn't talk about it. - All right. - And that was this letter, this open letter to Gina. - Oh yeah. - It's called, it's real long. So tell me when you want me to stop reading, but it's called letter to Gina with love. - Who's this? - And it's obviously written, it's not signed, of course, but this came out in, let's see. - It's not signed? - No, it's an anonymous letter that blew up the internet in an Melbourne. - That's so ridiculous. - It blew up the Melbourne Roadrunner system. All right, dear Gina. This open letter has been a work in progress for some time. Draft after draft, tossed out after each new revelation comes to life. I'm gonna tell you up front that this letter is not an attack, nor is it meant to be anything short of dot, dot, dot. What do you say? - Stop writing through, stop right now. How do you write an open letter and then say it's not an attack? (laughing) I mean, totally. - Oh, go on. - You make everyone believe. I hope you can too. - I don't know what that sentence even means, and you're gonna see how this is written by Andrea with how stupid this letter is, 'cause it makes as many points as Andrea can in real life. I've had the privilege of being intimately involved in the life you work very hard to portray. The glitz, the gland, the fucking hair and makeup alone just over their own applause. The shoes, the dresses, the height on that hair, the smell of that signature cheap perfume. That'll be important later, so let's move on. In the atmosphere that is so Gina. Let's start with the barrister status. You're a public defender, don't deny it. You'll never be the other Gina who you've shared a press article with. She discusses winning cases. You discuss closed-toed shoes. Bravo told you. Bravo to you for that little stunt. You have a law degree, but I've spoken at length to various individuals, all who volunteered to identify themselves if necessary, and you're still just a public defender who represents many of the sample people who fight for you online. I'll pay you bail if you can use Twitter, shocker. - Still not an attack. - Yeah, still just being nice to say hi. This is like a personal email message. - Yeah, and by the way, and like, oh, how dare she be someone who is a public defender who helps people who can't afford a lawyer? How dare she? - Yeah, how dare she not just work for money? How dare she actually try and do something useful with her brains? What a kind. Oh, we can't say that. And I love that the other criticism is so stupid. It's like, oh, and you just get Twitter followers by representing people. Like a public defender can be like, all right, listen, he and motorist. We can get you all off, we can get you all off if you follow me on Twitter. Care to shed any light on that? (laughs) Are your cases so high-profile that even the media cannot begin reporting? Doubtful princess, doubtful indeed. Though on good authority from an invaluable source, you definitely have represented that real estate mogul/lover of yours. Let's move on to that. You're left in open for speculation almost instantly. We'll call him Dave. He has a business too, so I'll be fair. Well, Dave has a past. I'm sure you know, after all, you were there for much of it. Dave won his hand. Again, not an attack. Yeah, now I'm gonna not attack the people you're close to. Dave also runs a new powerful empire. Did he bankroll your spot on the show? Well, the day you magically flew off to Florida, that's Florida for anyone who can't get over. Gina's dialect. And if you're Gina fan, then I will clarify, Florida is in the United States. I know it's difficult to catch on. Okay, now you're not attacking Gina's fans. I have nothing to do with this stuff. Back to that day, you did not go to Florida to see Dave because you were upset. You had plans prior to filming to see Dave and go on a little holiday. Silly, they must have edited that part out of the show for ratings. Fail. At Silly. After all, a powerful man like Dave would definitely be fucking anything that moves in Miami. We could ask about, we could ask around, but why get sidetracked? What, she's not even saying anything. She's like, ooh, you have a boyfriend named Dave. Wow. I hate that this open letter is anonymous. Like how shitty to write all this stuff and then you don't even have the balls to write your son your own name. Yeah. None of it, still we have not found an accusation except she works as a public defender. The other stuff is like your boyfriend's a whore. Well, we already kind of all knew that. And that's why she broke up with him, so there's that. And then they're like, well, you didn't go to Florida to make up with you to dump him. You went to Florida because you already had to plan. They go to Florida. Like that's the last chance. I heard it's like a page so far. It's like, you've got nothing in you dumb hoe. Like you, and here's another thing. You said you had a salad last night, but I know for fact, you had a salad and a roll. [LAUGHING] And that little fact. Am I gonna have to, am I gonna have to hack into your my fitness pal account? Am I gonna have to do that and show everybody the handful of raisins you had before lunch? Because I'll do it, Gina. You're a liar, Gina. You're a liar. You're a liar, a raisin liar. You're a raisin liar, Gina. You're a genius. Gina, I know you always say you eat crayons, because you think that makes it sound so fancy. But I know you're just eating raisins. To anybody who thinks crayons is a real word, you're a Gina fan. But what's that? Like she didn't pronounce Florida right. You've heard all your dialects right? [LAUGHING] Go on, this is like this letter's amazing. This is good, right? Yeah. So you trashed the castmate for how many episodes about the truth and dove cheating? Nice work. You scored fans and ratings with a few clever lies. Did you feel good about that? Shitting properly on the new girl to the group? Your true colors. Google, LinkedIn, Gina, L-C-E-O. We're evident to anyone with a brine. Onto brines. You are a brilliant legal mind. You're roped in five seconds. By the way, great segue. I know, another thing that made no sense. So you trashed a castmate, like that poor wilting wall flower who's married to a rock star, that poor innocent girl. And she wasn't really trashing what's her face, shawing, shawing, shawing. She basically was annoyed that she would say those things, and then they squashed the beef, and everything is fine, and they seem to actually get along more or less. She's like, how dare you? Let's see. Onto brines. You are a brilliant legal mind. I'm roped in five seconds. I would have loved this. Onto brines. Here's another thing you might not know about Gina. She's a zombie. She likes to eat brines. It's a brine. Yeah, fuck you, have a brine. When actually you eat brines. Gina. Gina's a brine eater. Here's what I have to say about Gina's brine. It's in her head. [LAUGHTER] Oh, let me see here. You roped in Foxtell and everyone involved into a neat little contract where you get to behave badly, feed your ego, literally ruin lives, and then tell producers, wait, wait, I know. Literally ruin lives. She's literally ruined lives. Whose life has she ruined? Whoever had the queen, those embroidered towels, is still in a corner mumbling to themselves and rocking back and forth with drool dripping down their face. And their thumbs. So apparently, literally ruin lives, and then tell producers dot, dot, dot, wait. Here it comes, old caps dot, dot, dot. I'm a barrister. Edit that out. It will ruin my career as a barrister. And that's written huge. It's in a different font size. I think that's something so bad. I was on the other end of the call first time. I heard that neat little trick. Isn't that fun? You took responsibility for hundreds of lives the day you forced your hand with that contract. Cast members, staff. Down to the person who runs to get coffee on set. That's cute. You just swooped in and made it your show. Care to deny it? Does that, does any of that make any sense to you? It just sounds like whoever wrote this is a jealous bitch. And you took responsibility for hundreds of lives. (laughing) What is it, lives? I think he said lies. You said lives? Lives? You took responsibility for hundreds of lives the day you forced your hand with that contract. What the fuck does that mean? Well, I feel like Gina's been bombing ISIS in the sense of getting killed. What the hell are you talking about? I'm like having images of Andrew holding up a sign that says hashtag bring our girls back or something. So there's a couple more paragraphs that are nonsense. But so the whole podcast isn't this. I'll just skip to like the good part because it's obviously Andrea. I'm thoroughly entered. I'm like loving all of this. Okay, well I can keep on if you want. Okay, so I'll just keep on. Just tell me when you don't like it anymore, okay? Oh, the show itself. This little franchise of horrors indeed. So you had some friends it seemed. They all behaved badly. Thank you, Foxtail Arena for the editing job that is so poor. If you freeze frame a replay minutes of dialogue at a time for multiple episodes, you can in fact get the real filming for most of the cast. Well, yeah, it doesn't make any sense. I'm telling you, this is, this is obviously Andrea because anyone who's still on the show would never talk it back against producers. Yeah, exactly. It's like if you, and where are we gonna go? I'm giving you a better position in bed. Yeah, I'm not. You know what Ronnie likes to do? He likes to get comfortable. (laughing) Oh, let's see, well, you didn't like anyone who wasn't interested in you. They aren't interesting either day in, day out, so no loss. What? What does that mean? It's hundreds of lives, hundreds of interesting lives that are at risk. You don't take any interest in them. You've took thousands of lives on this season. Don't you realize that since you're not interested in them, that they're thought they're gonna die? Way to go, Gina. (laughing) The new girl was mean. No, she wasn't. Dave is powerful and has money. Sluts love that. Sublaying Dave, not the angel lady who sees shit. It's not what defines her, dot, dot, dot. What? Not an attack. I'm really glad that this is not an attack. I know, me too. I would think that she's a real bitch. I know, I'm glad she's keeping it civil here because she's got a whole business that her husband's worked really hard to build and she's not fucking it up at all. So good on you, Andrea. Yeah, yeah. Your ex friend, the skincare queen. Well, she just loves her fucking self and is making a list right now. So you decided she was the best bet to shit on. I know having a husband and father of her three babies, wait, where's yours? Is upsetting for the mother of a few men's offspring. Children are off limits, according to you. So I'll move on. What? Is she referring to herself now? Yes. She's saying, yes. I'm trying to decipher what she's trying to say, but she's basically saying, "Ha ha, I have a husband and three babies while your kids are, like, fathered by different men or something 'cause you're a slut?" I don't know. By the way, Amazon sells a little thing called a micro camera. You should have thought long and hard who you spent time with when we got that little bit of footage. Bad Gina, talking nonsense. What? I don't know what she's talking about, so. Maybe that's a future episode because it looks like shit is really hitting the fan starting this week and next week. Wow. Oh, there's the moron who married money. That's all right, Gina. She was your friend, but you were a little boring by episode three, so you shit on her too. That was fun. I think she actually called you family, but we knew that's alike as you barely knew her. Oh, well, she's probably getting a car repainted and flying in a husband's plane, stupid sex thing. I guess you hate that you lease your bins and Dave sends you a Qantas ticket when the local U.S. holes get boring. You're oldest on all, front's friend, the diamond Baron Cougar. Well, she loves you a lot, but she's a bit old and forgets and she forgot to back you up after a long day of filming. So you've had it with her. Why who to her? She's free of you. Am I off basis yet? You know the recorded phone calls are fun too. Those may not be legal, but people on set look at you for a reason, Gina. That is so vile. It's just disgusting and it just goes downhill. Who's left? Oh, yes, the syrupy sweet catering queen. I like where you both bought, yes, bought followers for social media from the same damn company you achieved 10,000 status simultaneously. We've used the app, Gina. We know you need to look special and be a winner at Gina Vale. So you helped out your only ally. Did you tell everyone that you have dirt on your friend, the queen of cake? It hardly seems fair that her husband has to take the fall if she stops filming with you. Applause for Gina. So that's another, that didn't go after Chica, who's the nicest person of all, who's the only one trying to keep this thing civilized. Yeah, but that's why they're going after her because she won't play their games. And so now she's saying the only reason she's being nice to Gina is because Gina is blackmailing her and will bring down her catering empire. Because what I want to say to her is someone who's morally sound. I do not want any cate or who's possibly having to fair taking pictures anywhere, all right? By goodness, if I find out that Chica's husband is gay, I will never order canapés from her again. No kidding. I'm going to Whole Foods for my wedding catering. You know why parents have friends who got their wedding catering at Whole Foods? Come on guys. Wait, so what I love is also this huge denial about the fact that people might actually like Gina and the fact that like people follow Gina on Twitter because they like her and not because she bought them. Well, and also because, but also they follow her because she'll save them if they ever get a DUI or go to jail or something. Oh yeah. I forgot about that. I forgot. So, Fox tell. We can't say much to you, but we could ask Gina, which employee on the daily is threatened with legal action to get away? From the president of the group to the pull bastard who cleans up her fake tanner. It's always someone else's fault, isn't it? I'm crying. I hope my mascara stays. Regarding these recorded calls and videos, did you know one of your cast mates is so paranoid that she has a pinhole camera at the reunion? I hope you're starting to feel a bit ugly inside. You have a special way of deepening your voice when you're being crude. It must really be effective in court. Is it Gina? Case closed. I wish Kendra were a lawyer. I love that that's like her. That was her moment right there. And I love that someone's wearing a camera and that makes Gina an asshole. Like, yeah, that's Jill's there and work right there. And like, you know, it's like, you're copying Jill's there and that makes you the biggest fucking asshole in housewives' history, okay? So we'll just have to keep an eye out for who's wearing giant, tired bangs, fat suit glasses at the reunion. (laughing) And by the way, does this person show up at the reunion realize that it's actually already televised? So there's no need for a pinhole camera. (laughing) Well, she's saying to protect her from the editing in case Gina tries to sue him. Yeah, I'm sure that will be really legal if she puts up her own footage. I'm sure that there won't be any ramifications for that. I'm sure it's just gonna be monstrous anyway. That Gina's gonna be eating off baby heads and like, you know, making Holocaust jokes and shit. (laughing) By the way, I also, I just went to Gina's Twitter, which by the way, I almost feel like we should all follow her because based on this ridiculous thing, it's Gina, G-I-N-A, underscore, whatever that is. That's what it's called, underscore it a little flat line. Lyano, L-I-A-N-O, and so here's the thing that's funny. She has 17,941 followers. Okay, so now, that's more than I have. That's about, that's like probably like 11,000 more than I have. As far as celebrities go, not huge, okay? It's actually pretty small. So the fact that these women are carping about her Twitter followers is hilarious. 'Cause if you're gonna buy Twitter followers, you're not gonna buy like, you know, 5,000-- Well, she's on public defender salary, Bean. (laughing) Yeah, on for all day didn't bankroll the Twitter followers. Oh, Amber from Big Brother posted something, Cindy C posted this on that Bravo-Holic group, hilarious. It's a screenshot of Amber sending a tweet that says, "Oh, Frankie, I know you wanna get up to a million followers, "but you shouldn't have to buy them, "and then it's a screenshot of his followers, "and they're all like foreign letters." Oh, snap, that's how it goes on this episode. Yeah, it's so funny. Unlock your imagination with Audible. When you listen to audio content, your mind is free to paint the scenes and feel the emotions of a great story. Audible's extensive catalog is sure to have titles that you'll enjoy, immerse yourself in captivating tales, learn from world-renowned experts, and discover new perspectives all while multitasking or relaxing. There's more to imagine when you listen, and one title that I've been listening to is my friend Neil J. Young's Coming Out Republican, which talks about the history of gay Republicans. It's super fascinating and super interesting. As an Audible member, you choose one title a month to keep from their entire catalog. New members can try Audible free for 30 days. Visit audible.com/crapins or text crapins to 500-500, that's audible.com/crapins or text crapins to 500-500. Look, I'm no stranger to drama, obviously. I live for it, but sometimes even I need to put down a remote and escape for a little bit. And if a drama-free paradise is what you're looking for, then have I got the place for you? A Roomba! It's the opposite of Scary Island. It's officially known as One Happy Island because of its friendly, warm, and welcoming culture. Spend your days lying on some of the best beaches in the world under the sunniest skies in the Caribbean, and you'll see why this island is the number one guy in the group in the best way. Get a beachside massage with locally grown aloe or adventure outdoors with a hike or a snorkel. No matter what you do in a Roomba, you'll find happiness. That happy, relaxing feeling you find on a Roomba Shores that stays with you. There's no drama, it's just a sun-soaked, white sand beach, crystal blue water escape that will leave you feeling jovani, baby. So save yourself the stress and headache of planning a vacation, and instead, book a rejuvenating trip at aruba.com. - All right, so back to the show. Why don't we go back to the show? - Yeah, so that's basically it. She basically said, the next thing she goes on is that Gina smokes cigarettes and then talks about having cancer and then sprays herself with all this perfume and it's disgusting. And then she says, Gina, will you please just accept that your ego and eyeliner have corrupted your brain? And then-- - Not an attack. - Yeah, that's pretty much. Love Always Your Biggest Fan. And it says, PS, I still love you. I just really wanted to see you, not this nonsense on air. What is shame? You're just not that special without your side show, which I don't know any of this means, but if this is the worst you've got, you have nothing, people. - Yeah, and you know, the thing is this, Gina will not respond 'cause she's too classy. Oddly enough, the woman with the crazy makeup is too classy. But you know that if she wanted to respond as she is a barrister, she would probably abyserate this woman. And she wouldn't even go into allegations of gossip, whatever. She would just do a point-by-point list of why Andrea has become so violent, so terrible. Here's my take on it all. Does Gina owe them an apology for being very late? Does she owe them an apology for calling one of them a cunt and does she owe them an apology for wearing heels on the tennis court? You know, probably, you know. And you know what, guess what? She did at that dinner party in the beach. She said, you look at the footage, she actually said, she's like, I didn't realize that it upset you, and I'm sorry, I'm sorry. But they just kept on going at her. - Yeah. - And all of this, this like don't wanna be in the same room with her. They're acting as if she chops someone's head off. You know, it's like so above and beyond. We're not saying that Gina is faultless, she did some things that were wrong, and she should, you know, seeing how it really bothered the women, she should apologize. But when they act so viciously, and the fact that they can't even broach the topic in a friendly way, and say, you know what, this, it really upset me when you did this. And the fact that she can't, you know, the fact that they are so aggressive, of course she's not gonna wanna apologize, 'cause she's like, fuck these bitches, I don't wanna get to tell them anything. So like that. - Well, and also, they're coming at her in a way that it's not like, you know, Gina, it really upset me that you're wearing shoes on my tennis court. It's not that, it's like, you will these shoes, you disrespecting like $40,000, you know, it's like they try and make it like it's this huge thing, and they obviously just wanna take her down, and she's not gonna give them the leverage. She's just staying strong and being like, fuck you. I mean, if you're in the middle of a bunch of women trying to take you down, that's vicious. You gotta stay strong, man. You gotta be like a rolly-polly, roll yourself up in a little ball, and just get ready to get pinged around. - Right, and then on top of that, you know, they are also just looking for excuses to attack her. I mean, every scene that involves Andrea Olivia, they are going out of the way to be like, "Oh, is Gina coming?" You know, they want, they start the conversation. They get the ball rolling so they can bash her, like, a new, which is pretty vile, and it's, you know, it's something that people do, unfortunately, and we're seeing it happening. And then so, but actually, though, Gina did, in the middle of all this, Gina did call Lydia, and told Lydia that Jan said that Lydia was brainless. Now, probably, Gina probably, if she were a nice person, she probably wouldn't have relayed that information. But as Janet herself even said, it was kind of Gina's way of getting revenge. And the thing is this, Janet even admitted that. In her interview, she's like, "Well, you know, "I did say that, I did tell all the women "that what Gina had said, "so this was her way of getting back at me." So, she seemed almost accepted, and then she-- - Yeah, she said something like, "Karm is a bitch," you know? - Yeah, but you know, the thing is, the women riled her all up again, and because Lydia confronted Janet, and Janet's like, "Oh, I did, I threw you onto the bus, "but I threw under the bus to make Gina feel better." And it's like, "Oh, here we go again." And so then she meets with Gina at the end of the episode, and basically, Janet is like, "You are all the women. "You are all the women in apology, Gina. "You're all the women in apology." And Gina's like, "Forwatch," you know? And then, basically, it turned into a fight. And the best part is that Janet denied, by the way, that she called Lydia brainless, and then we saw the clip of her calling her brainless, which is my favorite reality show thing. But I love that she doesn't even really deny it. She just says, "I didn't call you brainless, darling. "I said that you weren't that smart. "Why just say that you're telling us you brainless. "I just said that you weren't very bright." - Like, that's better, and Lydia's like, "Oh, all right. "Well, you've got a spell." - Just spell. - Well, no, I adore you anyway. - They're like, "But you came clean. "You came clean, that's what's important." - I know, it's so ridiculous. So then they have this fight, and then, so my DVR always ends before the show's over, and so the last thing I saw was Gina was saying, "Well, that's it, friendship's over." - Well, because Janet was saying, "Oh, you know, that's why they were telling you off "when we were on our trip." And she said, "So you think that was right, "that they told me off like that?" And she's like, "I did. "I thought it was justified." - So that's it, then. That's the end of the friendship. That's it. We're done. So I was like, "Well, what do I care?" - Yeah, that's where I got it. - You're gonna care, bitch. So that was pretty much it. But the best part of this entire episode, and we didn't even talk about Lydia's maid, but we should probably move on. - Let's talk about it. Joanna. - But the best part, other than that, the best part was the clips for the next episode, 'cause shit goes down. - See, I didn't get to see that. And someone tells them, "I have to make this a rumor. "Someone tells Gina, "Have you learned anything?" And she goes, "Yeah, I've learned that women "can be a bunch of alsos, the best line ever." - Make that a ringtone, because we, this is another plug for our Patreon page. If you pledge $5 per episode once a month, you get a new ringtone. So maybe that'll be our first one. - Yeah. I don't know if we can legally take theirs. I think it might have to be us doing it. - That's fine. - Which might be even funnier. - Yeah, that's fine. - If your ring is like, "I've learned that women "can be a bunch of alsos, I've learned that women "could be a bunch of alsos." - Yeah, exactly. Now, by the way, we can't talk about Joanna, because what I thought was funny was that Lydia was watching Joanna, this lovely, like maid/housekeeper/confident. And this woman is just like chopping a cucumber. Like, all she's doing is chopping a cucumber. And Lydia's like, "Oh, how did you do that? "How'd you learn how to do that? "How did you do that?" It's like, bitch. - Well, I think what you're saying is, she wasn't chopping it, she was peeling it. And she was peeling it with a knife. - I know, but then she started to chop it, too. - Oh, 'cause I was like, "Who peels like that?" And she was like, "I popped myself." (laughing) - It's not a good point, it's like, "Oh, you know, Joanna's just the most lovely person. "I met her actually outside of my house. "She was outside of my house in the front there. "And then I just brought her inside. "And she's been with me ever since. "You know, Joanna, do you know what my dress is?" And Joanna's like, "No, I don't know what your dress is. "Oh, this, oh, this closet is so messy. "This closet need to organize." And she's like, "Oh, Joanna, you do that, darling. "You do that for me." - I love how Lydia is so self-serving, also with her compliments of Joanna. She's like, "You know, one day, Joanna showed up "and she had a huge tree in her hands. "And I said, "Joanna, what's this?" She said, "Well, with the money that I've been able to earn, "working here, I was able to buy my family, "a maker of farmland, so now they grow things. "And this is for you." And she's like, "And she had tears running down her eyes "for all the generosity that I've had for her. "And I was just so appreciative of everything I've done for her." - She's so grateful. - She's a saver. She's a saver. - She's a saver. "Oh, yes, she's disgusting, my woman. "But hilarious." She's like, "I don't know. "I can't remember the last time I had to clean my house. "That's just someone else, did you?" And God bless Joanna, it's like dumb as a brick, but it's hilarious because Lydia can't be upstaged by an intelligent maid. You know, when you have to get someone who's like even slightly dumber than Lydia, you're gonna be in trouble. I would be surprised if anything got done in that house. I mean, you know this woman dug up a tree and just like brought it in. - I think you look extremely dope. I was getting that from the thing, but then again, I thought she was trying to peel with a knife, which is why I'm saying that. - There's nothing wrong with peeling with a knife. - Well, she wasn't peeling though, Ben. Did you see a technique, Ben? You wanna fight about peeling? All right, I know how to peel, Ben, all right? I'm gonna write an open letter to Joanna. I'll be like, "Guess what, that knife that you got, "I heard it was bangled by Dave. "Let's just call him Dave. "That tree that you got, "I heard that you just picked up, "that tree at a nursery. "You didn't even have an acre of farmland. "You just put that money towards a new car." - Funny. Oh my God, okay, well that's real house-wise, a male bone. It's probably the least what show I'm probably right now. We just took like an hour of our podcast for it, but you guys totally worked out into it. So, you know what, I am actually truly enjoying the show. I think it's, you know, it was, again, slow start, but it's like, you know what, to go back? There's a perfect segue to New Jersey, because when Jersey, when they had the fist fight a few weeks ago, I made this whole thing about how, when these fights go from zero to 60 in a season, like if they meet each other and the next thing they're pulling their hair, it doesn't feel real, or there's no stakes. You don't know the people well enough, you don't care about the situation, you just think that these are crazy people. The one, when you let a situation percolate, when you let it build and build and build, and then it reaches a boiling point, you are so invested, and that's where I'm at with Melrose right now. And where I'm not at with New Jersey, oh my God. - Yeah, I agree. That show is just fucking ridiculous. And next week it looks like shit's hitting the fan because one of the twins is gonna find out about this rumor and because stupid Amber has like got her results back, her mysterious, crazy clown cancer results back. I mean, what a retard. - I'm not even dancing. (laughing) - Well, it's just such a joke and what doctor plays into that, you know? He's like, "You, I, your chest results came back." Now look, when I first looked at these results, they looked pretty crazy and you got a look closer and I'm glad you came back. Do we need to cut the commercial? Okay, wait for it, wait for it. You might be dying, wait for it. You're almost dead. You could be dying, something scoring the side of you, but it's not cancer, congratulations. - I'm down here, I'm out. - Is that the results from your cancer tests are positive, le great for you, they're negative. You're a negative person, but not necessarily of cancer. I've got a positive reading from a psychic that says you don't have cancer. Maybe we'll find out next week. Bad news, you're going to die of laughter when I tell you the results. (laughing) I'm gonna wear black to your funeral when you die of emphysema of an 80 year old if you don't die of cancer right now when I open this envelope. - Yeah, we have to operate immediately on someone in the hospital who is not you. That's like, I hope you don't mind getting chemotherapy again in the future if you're having to catch her name 'cause they don't have it now. (laughing) - I'm afraid you're going to be exposed to radiation if you decide to go on a trip to Chernobyl, which I really advise against, but that's the result. (laughing) - So this was another episode of Amber going to the doctor with her giant 10 pounds of weave and her huge eyebrows and her 10 inches of orange tanner and her like ball gown dress to go to the doctor. But we're all taking this very seriously, okay Amber? And she didn't go on the trip with the other ladies so she could stay and find out about her almost cancer which she knew she didn't have get a little more private camera time. She was ridiculous. It was really difficult to not fast forward through her scenes but I didn't 'cause I was like, what if there's a glimmer of something interesting here that I miss it and there wasn't? - No, you're so silly. (laughing) There's nothing interesting with her. But I want to say this though, about this whole rumor situation because for those who have not been watching, the whole thing was that Victoria Gotti told Theresa and Amber that there was a, that Reno told Victoria Gotti that when he and Theresa or Theresa were separated, it's because Reno slept with Theresa and Nicole's mother, Santa, okay, that's the rumor. So I just want to say for the record, Amber has actually not told anyone. (laughing) The only one who's told people has been Theresa who then went and told Dina and then Dina is like-- - Well, but Amber has this information. - And Dina's defense at that last party, at that house thing, what's that party? I don't even know what they're doing on this show anymore. But last time they were gathered at someone's home, Amber was very loudly telling Theresa. - Well, I just can't sit with this information. Someone has to tell her and making a huge deal. So Dina knows that she's gonna erupt. And she's like, how do I A get the screen time out of this? Because this is about to turn into the Amber and the twin show and I've done nothing except cry about my maid leaving. So I better do something more this season. - Well, the funny thing was that it was like building up, like it was all gonna come out in Florida. And you know what happened? All that happened was that Dina spoke to Nicole about it. And Nicole, oh no, was it Nicole? Was it Theresa? I don't remember. She talked to, I think it was Nicole. And Nicole was like, I don't wanna know. I don't wanna know. And then Dina talks to, then tells Teresa. And Teresa's like, I think I wanna know. And Nicole's like, I wouldn't wanna know. I'm gonna go sleep. And then the twins get into a fight and then the show ended. And I'm like, wait, nothing happened. No one said anything. She's just the twins got into a fight over nothing. - But we find out Amber's kind of, Amber calls and she's like, Hi, Dina is Amber. - Dina's like, oh, hello. What are you doing? - I'm like, oh well, I'm calling because I just got my test results back. - Dina's like, you went back to school or? - No, my cancer results are free. I need to celebrate. I'm coming to hang out with you girls. - Dina's like, well, congratulations on not having cancer. I guess we'll see you tomorrow. - Wow, Dina, let's try and hide our feelings here. - Yeah, I know. - I love math. - Those feelings, babe. - You know, the other big thing from the episode was that we had the return of Jacqueline. And it was so through the face. - If this cast means any sign of how shitty they are this season, that's it. Jacqueline came back as Margaret Cho, first of all, what has she been doing alone in her house? She is just one chunky face and two little slits. What is she doing? She's, at this point, she's bridging on racism. - I did enough. I actually liked the way she looked. I sort of liked her sort of more Asian-y hair. - It's because Big Brother's on and you're a Julie Chen fan. Come on, Ben. I'm not saying Asian people aren't good looking. I'm saying it's racist to try and look like them on purpose. It's like blackface. It's like she's auditioning for the Franklin Lakes Community Theater version of "The King and I." - She thinks it's about a mattress. (laughing) - You were so stupid. - Could you imagine if you really thought that? (laughing) - So there was a lot of black water. - Yeah, I mean, her kid is-- - And immediately she started talking about her kid, which I mean, I'm sorry, that sucks. - But did you notice also, by the way, that all of Jacqueline's scenes, it was Jacqueline and Kathy, and that was it, right? - Well, I think that Jacqueline, yeah, Jacqueline and Kathy, who obviously don't still talk because Kathy looked like, "Why do I have to hang out with this idiot?" - Yeah, well, clearly these were probably like reshoots, that they were like, "Okay, the season's," so they probably shot them way later, and then they're like, "We're gonna insert them "into the season to make it look like it's part "of like what's currently going on." But like, they are not interacting with the rest of the cast whatsoever. - Yeah, and we're looking at Kathy's home, which is, you know, she's building a home, and Jacqueline's there, and Kathy is building a huge kitchen, and Jacqueline's like loving it, and I'm thinking Jacqueline needs a big kitchen because she needs to come out with her own cookbook, and how to season your feelings, 'cause Lord knows she's eaten plenty of them. - Yeah, she, I actually kind of feel bad for Kathy that they're building that huge house because they're gonna, what, lasten that for two years before it gets foreclosed. I mean, she's not a cast member on the show anymore. - I know, but Richie and Cass, but she started doing this after they were fired, I would guess, 'cause it doesn't look like it's that far along, and, you know, they've got actual money from their gas station or whatever, and it's true. - Gas station's to make a lot of money. You're always gonna need gas, y'all. - No, I know, I was thinking about that the other day. I was thinking, I guess, gas station's that is a solid source of income. - Yeah, that's quite clean. - I mean, yeah, sure, all they do is clean up buggers, but we just keep making them, so it's almost making a lot of money. - Yeah, so basically Jacqueline's back and doing nothing, as she sent a text at Teresa, a very long text that was not unlike any of the texts that she sent to other seasons, 'cause she always does this. She gets mad at Teresa, and then she feels bad, and she sends a text being like, "For what it's worth, I still love you, "and I still care for you, and I want everything "for the best for you, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah." I miss having you as a friend, but I still think of you as a sister. Like, it's every season she sends that text, so this was like the fact that she sent it this time. It's nothing, but the best that Teresa responds to goes, "Thanks, kisses." (laughing) - Just like Teresa just sent me a response with pink poodles, a baseball, and a Christmas tree. What does that mean? What does that mean? - It means that Melania was sitting on the phone. (laughing) - Yeah, Jacqueline is still after her same old tricks, and you know, at this point, now with the other girls who are calling Teresa to get camera time, it's kind of more evident what Jackie was doing the whole time, you know? It's like, I have nothing going on, so let's talk about your legal shit. - Yeah, exactly. And Teresa is still ignoring her, but the producers are about to shove them back together again, which would be fun. - Yeah. Well, Teresa spent this episode looking at new houses, which I thought was funny. Like, she looked at a house, had like a urinal in it, and she's like, "Yeah, that's all right, it's good." - Like, this is where men stand up to pee, and she's like, "Well, what's the thing for?" - Yeah. (laughing) - It's an 8,000 square foot home. It's this gigantic, gigantic home. I mean, that's huge. - Yeah. - And she is walking around it with her nose in the air, looking like she's gonna barf, and granted, it wasn't the most tasteful home. And the real estate guy's like, "Well, I know this house is shitty "compared of what you're used to, but." - The real estate guy was terrible. He kept him being like, "Well, I know this room "is a lot smaller than what you want, "or I know this isn't as pretty as you'd like. "I know the paint job isn't like what you would want." I'm like, "Dude, this is not a house." (laughing) - And we're just supposed to feel bad for Teresa, 'cause she can't afford it anymore. Then Joe comes in in a suit, and he's like, "What? "Who cares?" - And she's like, "Well, we was looking for a house, Joe's." - And he's like, "Who cares? "So what? So what? Who cares?" - What was I gonna say about this? So this is just a side note, a personal note. I am in Texas, and so whenever I'm here, I have to watch this shit while my mom was playing Canasta with my dad behind me, okay, so we always talk about their commentary. And I really didn't write a bunch of it down this time, because it was really, really mean. But the best part was that right before this, I had watched Big Brother, and she had just been talking to my mom, she'd just been going off against illegal immigration. And she's like, "At the very least, you could learn English." And then, so these shows were going on, and I could just hear her rolling her eyes behind me. And so I turned around and said, "You see, mom, it's not just the illegals "who don't learn English." Because the English on Big Brother and Real Housewives in New Jersey, like, "Come on, "does anyone even go to school anymore? "Is anyone required to read anything or speak?" None of them can speak. They don't know what anything means. - No, none of them allowed. - Love it. - Yeah, totally uneducated. - And educated. Okay, let's see here. Real Housewives in New Jersey. Mom bitching about no one learning English. These people are as bad as illegal. It's a trip. Treehouse shop, LOL, at past clip of other people's bidet. - Oh yeah, she's disgusted about having to live in other people's homes, but she's not disgusted by other people's bidet's, which tells a lot about that family. - Well, no, she's, 'cause Teresa's whole thing now, she's like, "Well, no, I'm learning that I care about things "more like I used to be superficial, "but now I care about, I don't know, "I'm not as superficial on the material things. "Like bullshit." - Yeah, really. You're not as superficial, which means you don't have any money in your account, bitch. And I love that she's like, "Well, we'll sell a house." Joe's like, "We'll sell a house for 12 million." And I'm like, whatever number he said, I was like, "No, you won't." But let's just pretend it was that. And he's like, and then we'll buy the new one for one. And that's why you're calling it a business. And she's like, "Yeah, yeah, I'm a businesswoman." - First of all, businesswoman, if you're in bankruptcy and you're in court for fraud, chances are you're gonna owe somebody that money when you want to liquidize everything you have, might not be the best time to liquidize. - Yeah, yeah. They're just idiot criminals, and I can't wait for them to go to jail. - I hope they both do, which is so mean. I'm sorry children, sorry Pia, sorry Melania. - Honestly, let the girls go with Uncle Joe, because I've always been a Joe Gorga fan, and the way he was playing around with his kids was really adorable. - Yeah, the way he was throwing them at each other's heads. - Yeah. - That was really cute. That was child abuse. He was throwing them and hitting them in each other's head by other flying children. - Oh, they were conjuring in the balls. It's fine, it was all good. - And also him and Melissa both look like they're getting a meth habit or something. Their skin looks weird. Their eyes are never focused. There's something going on there. We're gonna hear about that soon in the public, I'm sure. - Okay, maybe a co-cab it. I'll put my money on that. - Yeah, I'm gonna say crystal. - Oh, wow. - Okay, let's say. Well, crystal's very popular in the gay party community, and Joe used to be a gay stripper, and Melissa used to be a straight stripper. So, meth really isn't that far off. - Bobby, did we talk last week about Greg Bennett from the show? Well, we'll talk about it. - Yeah, we talked about that. - Oh, yeah, we did. You're right. - Let's see. Jack, Jack, spent blowing all her money on autism. Oh, yeah, that's like Jacqueline. That's like Jacqueline saying, "Yeah, well, we're gonna have to downsize our house too, because of autism." I'm like, really? So it's not because you're being accused of swindling people out of millions and millions of dollars to fly on private planes and buy homes that you can't afford, Jacqueline? Really? You're gonna blame your autistic child? Fucking asshole. - Listen, we know the real truth. The real truth is that somehow, some way, this is Ashley's fault. Somehow that girl, she got into the bank account and spent it all on marshmallows. (laughing) - Oh God, that's so, so stupid. But it's gonna be great when we find out about the mother sleeping with the husband. And God, I hope it's true, and I cannot wait for that shit to come out next week. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Looks like it'll be a Jim Marchese special. - Yay, I'm excited. He's the only weasel who's really entertaining and working hard to entertain us. - Yeah, he is a real, he's a real weasel. He did it. - Actually, where was this? Did I close the window? I'm real upset with myself closing the window. Oh, Nicole and the Palatano's teenage sons go after Amber and Jim Marchese on Twitter. Are you interested in that? - We'll talk about that in the bonus episode. - Ooh, okay, I'll keep that window open. That was cold, that was cold. - It's good. Why don't we have one too? - We're nearing our hour, aren't we? We're at our hour, darn it. All right, so we need to still move on here. - Let's go down, let's go on to below deck. - All right. I wrote this back on the back of a Kinesse scorecard. And on the front says Ronnie winner. Thank you, thank you everybody. Thank you, don't fuck with me when it comes to Kinesse, the motherfuckers. - Have you ever, by the way, have you ever played Settlers of Catan or Catan? - No, but it's always the pop up ad on whatever side I'm visiting. It's like-- - Really? - Yeah. - Because I played it over the weekend for the first time. And I loved it. Like I played the board game version. I didn't play the online version. I played the board game version. And if you told me I could now spit it. Like if someone said, "Hey, Ben, why don't you come over "and we'll play Settlers of Catan for the next six hours?" I'd be like, "I am in. "Maybe I'm not thinking of that. "That doesn't sound like a pop up ad kind of game." - No, it's sort of like a Dungeons and Dragons-y thing. It's so fun. - Oh. - Wow. I can't get behind that. - But you know what, you also like football. And I have to say, sometimes we should celebrate our different suits. - That's right. I do. See, listen, I am a man of many facets. I enjoy the Real Housewives. I enjoy Settlers of Catan. I enjoy football. - I think that that's great. - Yeah. - I just never want to live with you. - That's fine. You don't have to. - I smell peanut butter. Mom, isn't that weird that I think of my mom? Well, I think she's home, but would she be cooking peanut butter? That's weird, right? - I'm just making a home brew of peanut butter. - You should see these giant gold pillows with feathers all over them. It's hilarious. Okay, I'll post them today on the website 'cause this shit's hilarious in this house. Okay, so we'll read that later. Okay, so we are on the load deck. So, oh, that's not in Melbourne. So, Adrienne comes back for this one. - She's back and worse than ever. - So what was her deal? 'Cause I watched the first couple episodes last season and then I was like maids. But she just seemed like a little A-type to me, but everybody hates her guts, huh? - Yeah, you know, I didn't watch all of last season, but I probably watched, you know, probably like four or five episodes. And I always, you know, I didn't mind Adrienne. She was cold and she was bossy, but I feel like that's, you know, that's it, she was the boss, that she was getting the shit done, but apparently people really, really, really hated her. And I didn't realize that until she arrived and then everyone had a bad reaction. And to be fair, she was kind of like, I don't know, I thought it was a little rude of her to like spread that rumor about why Cat and the other girl hate each other. Amy, is that her name? Amy? - Yeah. - Well, it's not a rumor. It sounds like it's actually what happened. And you know, you got a credit, Cat, because Cat's like a really good alcoholic slut. She's a classic. Like, she's not somebody who like sobers up and blames the guy or, you know, does any of that stupid sorority girl stuff. She actually wakes up and she's like, maybe I did blow him. Maybe it was a threesome. Maybe I fucked the entire boat. I don't know, I was blackout drunk. - Yeah, she did not deny, which I thought was cool. But then she was, but she got mad because, I think she got mad first that Adrian was even saying these things in front of clients, which is really bad. But I guess since Adrian's not on the boat, she's allowed to. But then this somehow became, she got mad at Amy about this. And I have to say, I don't think that she should have gotten mad at Amy. I think actually the story makes sense. I don't think that like, Amy is like mad that Cat is like stole away the love of her life or something. And still has sour grapes. I think the situation is what, as Amy described it, that like, she did this and it was shady. And it made me realize she's just a shady bitch. And I'm just going to keep her at arm's length, basically. - Well, she, that's just embarrassed because she's sitting there with the guests. - Yeah. - And she basically this girl, Amy, without knowing that she was doing it, by telling the entire world what a slut cat was, she gave her greatest enemy, you know, ammunition. Which I understand, but you know, if you can't, if you can't sound a sperm crust on your t-shirt, get out of the blowjob factory. Like, I mean, get out of the blowjob kitchen. What do you say? - Yeah. - Yeah, you blew him. So, you know, I know it's not nice to be slut-shamed, but the more sluts that stand up for their rights, less slut-shaming there's going to be. - Exactly. Soon it will no longer be embarrassing to have semen covered seahorse pillows. - Yeah, exactly. It's just part of the game. You know, maids fuck too. - Yeah. No, I think that probably what happened was, yeah, Cat was probably embarrassed, it was in front of the clients and was from her mortal enemy. And even though she didn't deny it, she didn't really totally, she was so sort of blindsided that it was easier for her to take it all out on Amy than to actually be like, yeah, that was shady of me. I should not have done that. Oh well. - Well, she doesn't like Amy anyway, and she never really understood why Amy stopped talking to her because I remember at the beginning of the season, she was like, well, Amy, we used to be friends, and then all of a sudden she's not talking to me. So, and then she tried hinting around at why they're not friends and Amy wouldn't say anything. So then to find out later that it's because she blew some dude when she was blackout drunk. So that's how it seems at first, right? So I'm thinking, okay, well, I'm kind of on Cat's side because if this girl had just told her, you hurt my feelings blah, blah, blah, and none of this would have happened. But then we see the scene from next week where Amy is flirting with the new guy and cats immediately in the hot tub trying to get some ass, and I was like, oh, I see. So she's an aggressive slut, and that's not cool. - Yeah, no, exactly. No, I felt bad for Amy. Although she also took things out of proportion. I mean, she overheard Cat venting to Kate, and Kate, you know, was like laughing 'cause it's all silly. And then Amy tries to come in and like just, you know, clear the air and then cats like, no, you're not allowed in. Like, I give her more of a British accent than she has, but she closes the door. And then it became a whole thing. But, you know, by the way, Amy is not like some angel because in the beginning of the episode, she confronted Jennie's about the fact that Jennie's broke her brother's heart and was like, I just want she to know that-- - Oh, that was cool, I didn't like that. - No, it was real bitchy. She's like, I just want you to know that guy's a good man, and you may not regret it now or day or week or a month now, but they'll come upon where you're gonna regret. You're gonna regret not going to, 'cause you will, I hope, I hope you meet someone as good as him. - Well, that was the most awkward thing anyway, 'cause the poor girl's just trying to stalk the fridge, and she's like, hey, what's her name? - She's. - Yeah, she's like-- - Hey, you doin' Che Dog. - She's like good, sayin' thing you wanna talk about? - She's like, no, this is me, we have to talk about your brother. And she's like, well, I just want you to know that I hope that one day down the line in your life, you're lucky enough again to have a decent man like my brother, 'cause he is amazing, and good luck to you, and I hope you don't mind your decision, I hope you don't regret that decision, 'cause he's too good for you. - I was like, Jesus bitch, back off, like-- - I know. - That is why Southern women are scary, they are the nicest, they're like, to your face, so I'm like, oh my God, price Jesus, you're beautiful. And then the next minute, they're like, ♪ How does your back feel ♪ ♪ I'm about to stick something in it ♪ ♪ You feel okay, no, no, no, no, no ♪ You're bleeding from your eyes, and you're like, what just happened? - Yeah, I mean, it's true, I mean, I don't disagree with anything Amy said, I think she was actually right on the money, Janice Bull regret it, 'cause this guy was hot and nice, and would fight for her, but it was really cool to say it to her face. - Well, you don't say that, you just say, hey, I hope it doesn't make things uncomfortable with us, because you had weird things with my brother, he's such a nice guy, I wish you'd give him a chance, but I understand you have a boyfriend, and we're not in the world, you know, what kind of woman is like, just cheat on your boyfriend anyway, who cares? Like, come on, women, let's try and like, stick up for each other a little here, so I'm just throwing each other under the bus, I think the boyfriend deserves some respect. - Well, it may work out for the boyfriend after all, because Janice got dumped over FaceTime sitting under a palm tree. - Yeah. - Pretty much, that was awkward. - Yeah, he's like, so, she's like, you're so cute, you're so cute, I just wanna kiss you, he's like, yeah, so I don't think this is gonna work out. (laughing) So you're gonna come visit me, he's like, I don't think so, I think I'm gonna go to like, Fort Lauderdale and said, he's just like, well, wouldn't, if you're gonna come anywhere, why don't you wanna come see me, he's like, I don't wanna do that. - Yeah, it's like, it doesn't seem like you're into it either, she's like, yeah, but if you came to the States and didn't come where I was, I mean, we'd be over, right? He's like, I mean, yeah. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. - Yeah, he hangs up on her. - He's like, I realize that you're just a very plain girl. And I think, it's not that I can do much better, but I think anything is perhaps slightly better. - What else happened on this? So it was like, crazy lesbians, Adrian, I felt kind of bad for Adrian because everybody hates her. I mean, she was trying to be like, hey, chef, what's up? And he's like, hello, Adrian, like hello, Adrian. He's like, what's up? How's it going? How's the house and these people? He's like, everyone's fine. Thank you very much, Adrian, everyone's doing fine. - And wouldn't even look at her and just kept the thing as onions. - Awkward. - I know, but even, I have to say though, I did enjoy when everyone got wasted around the dinner table, except for Adrian. And she was like trying to like elevate the conversation by talking about the Miami Dolphins or whatever. And then I loved how Kate got all uppity. She's like, I don't know, since I don't, I don't remember when Yachting became such a low class affair when you're on a reality show. (laughing) - Just pour your champagne. - You're on Bravo. It's all a low class affair. - Yeah. - Yeah, it was, it was funny because once you've been in service, it's very hard to even hang out with idiots like that. And Kat was like, bye. Like she didn't even wait for dinner because she was mortified because she could see the rest of the staff being disgusted. And she was too embarrassed. - You need Adrian. - Adrian, yeah. And she was too embarrassed to stay. She was like, bye. She later, she jumped on a boat before dinner was even served. And I was like, amen. A, you're keeping your figure. And B, you're making yourself look slightly less stupid. And also she probably cried on the way home 'cause no one was my story. - I know, I kind of feel bad for Adrian. - Yeah. I do too. Why is that? I guess 'cause I'm a bitch and she's a bitch and I'm really pasty and she's really pasty and she can see her stomach muscles. And I guess it ends up pasty. It ends up pasty. - I mean, those guests too, I mean, they were being body. I didn't think they were being that crazy. But it was, they were sort of like the Andrias of below deck 'cause they were like, you want some meat? Yeah, I'll take some meat in my mouth. Oh, he likes the meat. Yeah, you know, he likes meat. I'm like, oh my God. - And then he like bends over and starts twerking with a sort of his ass. Like that's nice. I like this, the captain when he's like, I'd rather drag my dick through 10 miles of glass than to have those people on my boat again. - Yeah, nice. By the way, did you notice that there's someone else on the crew who doesn't, he's like not on the show. There was, when they all lined up at the end, there was some guy there who, I don't know if he's like, he like, we've just never seen him before. He's just there. I don't know if he's like, maybe someone like, I think last season, Captain Lee had, they were like one or two people who were like actual boating professionals who were on board two that were not on the show. And I wonder if this other guy is like that because I'd never seen him before and there he was. - Oh yeah, there's never just one captain. I mean, there's gotta be, I mean, there's never one person, what do you call driving the boat or whatever. They're staring the ship. There has to be more than him. He's gotta sleep at some point. - Yeah. Well, I think they anchor down at those points. But like, I think they, it must be like an engineer or someone who works, like someone who knows the technical aspects of like the engine downstairs or something. - I don't know, but there's a new guy coming next week and he's falling. - Yeah, he's really hot. I'm like, oh, I really am enjoying the casting. - The season. - Yeah, me too. Nice pass this season. Hauler. Okay, so real quick, if you're not watching The Singles Project, which you're not, and I understand, 'cause we made a pact that we didn't have to, but it actually is pretty hilarious. As you get to know them, our readers or listeners are right saying that you get used to it as it goes on, because it does get funnier as it goes. And it's over next week. So if you're bored and you need something to watch, watch this past episode and then watch next week, because it's so funny. Like the gay guy, first of all, the gay guy goes on a double date with one of the straight guys, and it's hilarious because he actually has a good date and the straight guy doesn't. And both the gay guys are orange, which I just love, 'cause it's like, that's the gay guy thing now. It's like the gay guys have a different sun than everybody else that turns their face orange, but keeps their neck beige. And he's obsessed with everybody's eyebrows. He's like, "You have such nice brows." And then he goes on another date. He's like, "You have such lovely eyebrows." And I'm just really so glad to have like a lovely bravo orange little gay, because he's very funny. The older Tabasam lady, they showed her under fluorescent lights. She went to her man's kitchen this week, like his house and his home kitchen. You guys, if you have a plastic face, plastic eyelashes that are 10 feet long, a ton of makeup, a weave, if you're all fake looking and you're used to TV lighting, don't walk into fluorescence. - No. - Don't do it. I mean, she-- - She's a mistake. - Yeah, it was like walking through one of those x-ray machines at the airport, but instead of showing her bones, it just showed like the fuck under there. It was not cute. Make sure you are well lit wherever you are, if you're gonna do shit with your face like that. And then she went, this guy's trying to bone her, and she's like, "I just will only have sex with people "who I'm in a monogamous relationship with." And he wouldn't obviously commit to her after two dates or whatever. And he's like, "I sent some desperation, "like you automatically wanna have babies and children, "and like, I need to date for a while first." And she's like, "You just called me desperate, "this is over." And left him, which I loved. So it was really, really fun. I won't go on about it forever, 'cause it's just gonna be a monologue but you should watch it next week for the finale. - All right, I'll try to watch it next week. - For the finale's, hey. You're all ruffling around over there. - I am, I'm sorry, I'm readjusting. It's you doing a whole podcast from bed. - Are you still there? - Yeah, is it better? - You sound muffled now. - I do? - Yeah, you sound all muffled. There, you sound better now. - I do? - Okay, yeah, be sure. Yeah. Okay, sorry for the ruffling, everybody. - It sounds like you're rooting around in some, a pile of leaves. - Oh, well, I could be, I'm home. If I get in trouble, that shit'll happen. (laughing) - Okay, so we're gonna end this version now because we are done with our shows for the week and we're gonna move over to the after show. So for now, come find us on patreon.com/watchworkcrapins to subscribe and you'll get the bonus episode. And for those of you listening, wondering where the hell your bonus episode is, go to patreon.com/watchworkcrapins. Also come to our Facebook. It's a really fun, active page, facebook.com/watchworkcrapins. You guys are hilarious. Today's thread was what you wanted to talk about and we read it through the whole show and laughed our butts off and I always do. If you want to tell me to fuck off, whatever you want to do, come on there. Find Ben in the normal social media places, Ronnie in the social media places. And that's it. We'll say goodbye now. We'll see you next week. Bye, everybody. - Bye. - Bye. (upbeat music) - If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the internet. The folks behind the sideshow network of launch the new YouTube channel called Wait For It. It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza Schlesinger, slicing, driving friends with it for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there and I still have a hard time with the last name, Liza. Our very own Owen Benjamin, that's me, takes you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes and much more. You don't have to wait any longer. Just go to youtube.com/waitforacomedy. There's no need to wait for it anymore. Because it's here and it's funny and I love you. - On Monday, Josh Liebarger made his status. - Peace of the Mondays. - Followed by a frowny face. It got one like in five comments, including dislike. Well, Josh, Geico also wants to make a comment to turn that emoji's frown upside down. In just 15 minutes, you could save hundreds of dollars on your car insurance by switching to Geico. With all that extra dough, why not give Monday a makeover? We see an office party in your future. Hosted by you. Hashtag happy face, hashtag savings. - Geico. - 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance. - If you like Watch what Crap is, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery App or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com/survey. - In a quiet suburb, a community is shattered by the death of beloved wife and mother. But this tragic loss of life quickly turns into something even darker. Her husband had tried to hire a hitman on the dark web to kill her. And she wasn't the only target. Because buried in the depths of the internet is the kill list. A cache of chilling documents containing names, photos, addresses, and specific instructions for people's murders. This podcast is the true story of how it ended up in a race against time to warn those who lives were in danger. And it turns out convincing a total stranger someone wants them dead is not easy. Follow Kill List on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Kill List and more exhibit see true crime shows like Morbid early ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. Check out Exhibit C in the Wondery app for all your true crime listening.
