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So go to Fylo.tv and check it out for a free seven day trial. - That's P-H-I-L-O.TV to start watching. - This episode is sponsored by DoorDash. - We're back to tell you more about the latest Dash Pass annual plan benefit, StreamMax with ads included at no extra cost. - You know what's a great night for us? Ordering DoorDash and cuddling up to watch the Max Original Hacks, which won Best Comedy, deservedly so, and we'd love tuning in to see not only icon Gene Smart, but the wonderful and incomparable Rose Abdu, who also is a huge Bravo fan. - Listen, I'm always in the mood for hacks, but you never know what kind of food I'm in the mood for. Sometimes it's pizza, sometimes it's a salad, and I can get both with DoorDash. - How 'bout some ice cream? That's what I like to eat with my hacks. - 100% I will double Dash, I will get a salad and then double Dash some ice cream, why not? - Sign up for a Dash Pass annual plan and get Max included at no extra cost. It's your door to more. Max has now included with your Dash Pass annual plan. Stream Max with ads up to $120 value included at no extra cost. - Terms apply, see doorDash.com/maxfor details. - Put your website to work while you play. A website works 24/7, so no matter where you are or what you're doing, people can still find you online. Start building your website today at GoDaddy. It starts with a .com domain, and to promo code 199WC at checkout to get your .com for just $1.99. It used to be $2.99, now we're down to $1.99. Some limitations apply, see website for details. The code again is 199WC, the 199 stands for $1.99. And the WWC stands for Watch For Crapins. See how that makes sense? Use it and have fun. ♪ Watch what crap is ♪ ♪ Watch what crap is ♪ ♪ Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is ♪ ♪ Crapins ♪ ♪ Crapins ♪ ♪ Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap ♪ ♪ Crapins ♪ ♪ Watch what crap is ♪ ♪ Watch what crap is ♪ ♪ Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is ♪ ♪ Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is ♪ - Hey everyone, welcome to Watch What Crapins. A podcast about all the crap we love to talk about on Bravo. - I'm Ronnie Cara, I'm from TrashTalkTV.com and I'm here with the lovely Ben Mandelker from B-Side Blog. - Hi Ronnie, this is so strange. We're actually, you're in person. - I know, I can see your face. - I can see your face too. - It's so awkward. I'm usually in my underwear. My balls are kept in one hand and I've got like a lovely bottle of wine in the other. - Well now you have no balls in your hand and I had a glass of water, so it's kind of like a lose-lose situation right now. - I know, but you're here. - Down great. - It's okay, I what? - I just want to like stroke your cute little face - Yeah, it was good that I had to come see you today because I actually took a shower, I shaved, I ground. - Yeah, nice. - All parts of me are trimmed 'cause I never know it could happen on the way over here. Nothing did, but I would have been prepared. - But wait, hold on one second, I'm getting a phone call. - For real? - I don't know. - Do you have to answer it? - No, I won't answer it. - Is it Andy Cohen, then you're not answering. - I'm just, I'm in the process of golf, I'm looking for a job. So I'm always like wary of phone calls to me. - They can wait for Bravo. - Yeah. Anyway, I'm @BsideBlog, BsideBlog.com, and @BsideBlog on Twitter and on Instagram and on Facebook and everywhere else. - Facebook. - Facebook. - Facebook. - Facebook, podcast. - And Ronnie, you were at? - At TrashTalkTV.com, we've got a lot of really funny recapers right now, recapping shows, Real Housewives in New Jersey and Below Deck right now are especially funny there. - Yeah. - You can find me on Twitter at TrashTalkTV, TrashTreatTV, TrashTalkTV on Instagram and Tumblr and where else. Ronnie Karam everywhere else, if you want my personal BS. - And of course, if you're listening to this podcast, you should come over to our Facebook page on Facebook. - Yeah, facebook.com/watchwithcrapins or on Twitter @whatcrapins. But Facebook is a place to go because we are cracking up with you guys. You guys have been posting there a lot lately. We get all of our gossip from there. - Yeah, tons and tons of stuff. And actually one thing that we're very excited to talk about, right, there are two things actually. - Yeah, two plugs. - Top of the show. - Two plugs. - Two plugs. - A little bit of housekeeping here. First thing, we're super, super excited about this. Watch What Crapins has been nominated by LA Weekly for best podcast. - Yeah, and that's not really a big deal anywhere but LA, but it's a big deal in LA, go vote for it. It's LA Weekly's 2014 Reader's Choice Contest. You can Google it or just come find it on our Facebook page and just go vote, please. It would be so lovely to win something. - Yeah, this would like change our lives. - Yeah, whole lives. - So it's readerschoice.laweekly.com. Go there and vote for whatever else you want to, but definitely vote for Watch What Crapins for best podcast. Actually, can I tell you something? One of the other nominees lives in this building. - Who is it? - I'm not gonna say it because one time I mentioned it and he sent me like a message on Twitter, like a direct message being like, hey, can you not say where I live? I was like, so anyway, it's kind of funny and in building a competition. - What's his potty? - His potty. - What's his potty cast? - Well, if I tell you what his podcast is about, then you'll know who it is. - That would be a good podcast, I think. If it was like a potty cast and he just like, 'cause every morning I sit there with my phone on the toilet anyway. You might as well make it a podcast and be like, today, Syria did something horrible. Today, as Syria decided to stop teaching math just to Syrian children. - Let's talk about that. - The things that happen on my toilet, the things I look at on my iPhone, it's usually like Instagram and then like, let me refresh my Instagram in case of another photo that came up in the past 10 seconds, let me check that again, and now let me talk some people through Instagram. That's basically it. - You know, I used to think like if there is one human quality that I could change, it would be pooping, 'cause I've just never understood that. Like why would God make us work or whoever, whatever you believe in, okay? Why would we be made like having to poop? It's just so gross. And then I was like, well, when else did people read the Bible back on old days? - Yeah, exactly. It's like Bible time, poop. It's like God's way of saying it's where we educate ourselves. - Yeah, yay, poop. - So the other big plug that we have is that we have started up with this service called Patreon. You go to patreon.com, you can see what they're all about. We did this because it's a way to get a little bit of help for our podcast. You know, obviously Ron and I, we do this podcast once a week. We really, really, really enjoy it. And we would do more, except, you know, it takes time to do this, to watch the shows, to record, to publish the podcast and everything. So basically what this site does is it's kind of like Kickstarter, but a little different. It lets people who listen to shows, whether they're podcasts or YouTube channels or whatever, allows people to sort of support the content creators that they like. So you can give a donation, like a micro donation, as they say. And it helps us, a little bit goes a long way for us. - Yeah, basically we wanted, we didn't wanna start a subscription podcast where everything was paid. So we're gonna keep the podcast completely free, but this has different ways that you could subscribe to extra features. We'll be doing the bonus after show every week where we just talk crap about gossip and news and other TV shows. We'll do like a monthly party on Google Hangouts where you guys can come drink with us and we all talk together. We could do viewing parties. There's like a lot of really cool things that we're gonna start rolling out that are only gonna be part of the subscription service. But all of this regular podcast stuff is gonna stay totally free. And we understand that people are poor. So if you're poor, don't do it. We don't care. And if you're not, then do it. And if you're, there's different levels, you could do $1 in episode. You can do, you know, $2 million in episode. Like whatever you feel most comfortable with. But yeah, exactly. And it's per episode. And if you're concerned, if you're saying to yourself, well what happens if you put out like, oh wait, don't touch that 'cause the cable's sensitive. Sorry. - I need to fiddle with something. - I know, I'll give you some, here's the napkin to fiddle with. - Okay, I'll fiddle with it. - So if you're concerned like, well if I pledge a dollar per episode and then you guys do 30 episodes per month, one month, then I'm out of $30. Don't worry. On this site, you can say I only want to do a max of like $5 per month or something like that. So you will be protected in case we go crazy. - Yeah. - Okay, so that's basically it. So if you guys want to support the podcast further and get a lot more content that's only going to be available, they're good at patreon.com/watchwalkcrapping. - And on top of that, I just want to add too that if we wind up getting enough donations per episode, we will actually go up to two watchwalkcrappins episodes per week. - Yes. - And if we get even more than three and even more up to four. Four episodes per week, like a real radio show. And all those details are on our patreon site. - Yeah, so go check that out. - Okay, so now let's get to the regular show. - Yes. - That's a lot of plugging. - I know. - So many plugs. What was even on this week? Okay, the other day I watched the housewives of Melbourne. - Oh yeah, housewives of Melbourne. - And I tried to read all the voice. - A little friendly advice for Gina. A little friendly advice for you, Ronnie. - What kind of, I don't want to hear it, Dolly. I don't want to hear it, Dolly. Just keep looking at me, babe. So it's getting better, right? - Yeah, it's getting much better. - Yeah, 'cause I was repeating every line as they said it this week. - Oh, that's good, that'll help. - Yeah. - I do that too, but. - So this week was, what happened this week? - Well, a lot of things happened this week. First of all, first of all, first of all. - Little friendly advice. - First of all. - Little friendly advice from me. I have to take more notes on this show. So I remember what what Gina says. Gina, Lydia. - Lydia. - Um, let's see. I mean, the big thing that happened was that Chica had a big potty for the-- - Legionnaires disease. - Legionnaires disease. Was it for, what? (laughing) It was for the big, the hurt. - But wasn't it called like a Legionnaires party? - Oh, no, it was like the-- - It was like the Legionnaires party, I just spit. - Sorry. - But the Legionnaires party. No, it was, it was, it was a spring part. It was to showcase all their spring food. And then what I think it was called the Legionnaires party. And I was like, is it that the disease that was in Hugh Heffner's pool that got all those strippers sick? - They're like, we're gonna have to, we're gonna have the AIDS party. - Yeah, they're like, yay. It stands for Annie in Da. Sink. - Annie in the sink party. - Yeah, that's, that's an expression that means let's have fun. Annie in the sink. (laughing) It's like Walts and Matilda. - Yeah, Annie in the sink. - Yeah, Annie in the sink. - Yeah, Annie in the sink. - Annie in the sink. (laughing) - In the sink. - So that happened. And the big thing was that, you know, all the girls are still mad at Gina because-- - For all that nothing she did. - Yeah. - Oh, and hey, by the way, Derek Hazel team. And you're standing up for everybody against Gina. Gina has done nothing. You will never convince me that Gina's done anything. And you know I'll judge a bitch. - Yeah. I have no problem like saying who did what. - No, she didn't do anything. - I will say it was bad that she made people wait for so long, that's bad. If you show up and make people wait an hour to play tennis, I get that. But why don't they just start playing tennis, by the way? - Yeah, they had enough people. Where were they gonna play triples? - Yeah, exactly. - We had plenty of people to play tennis. - Yeah, she could get changed and everything. She should not have won that shit on the tennis court, but that was up to Andrea to give a little friendly advice and say Gina. - Yeah. - You can't wait for that. - Of course, $40,000. - It's of course, $40,000. - It's expensive, Gina. - You know what she makes me look like? Mr. Monopoly. Because I have money to buy a tennis court, but she doesn't have money to buy a tennis court. - If I had said she said you can pass go, Gina. She would have ruined the board with those shoes. I would have had to buy an entire new Monopoly board. - You know what she reminds me of? Boardwalk, because she walks on boards, and boardwalk is like property on Monopoly. - Atlantic City never would have been successful with those shoes scraping it all up in the beginning. People would have been like, "I'm not going to do that." 'Cause so you know what the boardwalk's all scraped up from those shoes? - You know what she should do? She should buy a hotel on Mediterranean Avenue because she's from Italy, just Mediterranean. That's what she should do. - She should call it goop, 'cause that's all she's got on her face. Her name should be goop. Hey Gina, your name should be goop. (laughing) - You know what her favorite card is? Her favorite card is Chance card. Because every time you come, you always risk the chance they'll be waiting. (laughing) - You know what I'm going to get Gina for a birthday? Some Windex so she can clean up the makeup that she left all over in my bathroom. - How about Gina takes a ride on Reading Railroads? I wish you could read the time of the invitation. (laughing) - That's actually way too advanced for an ambulance. - Yes. - She actually had another one this weekend. - I'm just too stupid. - She made another joke this week and I'm so mad I didn't write it down 'cause it was just exactly what we were saying. I wish. - She did. - Gina's like a pregnant girl's period, late. (laughing) - That's too advanced. That actually has like a set up. Like it would be like, Gina's, Gina would be like a pregnant girl's period. She's, she's bloody. (laughing) 'Cause she just got into an accident. - Hi Gina. - You know what do you look like? Someone who walks outside. (laughing) Hey Gina need a hat 'cause you got hair on your head. She puts your hair in the hat. - Hey Gina, you know I can look right through you. You know why? 'Cause you're standing outside and there's a window here. (laughing) - Hey Gina, hey Gina, hey Gina. It dressed like a girl. That's 'cause you're a girl. (laughing) Gina. (laughing) So you know what I said to Gina? I said Gina, nice walking on your legs. What are your human being? - Gina looks like you got out of bed this morning. (laughing) - Hey Gina, it looks like you're alive. What do you think you are, the live person? (laughing) - Hey Gina, I see you put hairspray on your hair. (laughing) - Hey Gina, I heard you put hairspray on your hair. Would you do spray your hair? (laughing) - That woman is such a seaward. I love, my favorite part of the episode was, okay. I don't know how much we go into this show. Like is anybody even watching this show? - I think so, it's okay. - So there's a party and of course everybody's like, it's Gina gonna come and she comes and blah blah blah. So the doctor husband, that stupid bitch's doctor husband is like, oh how are you doing doing it? And she's like, well, you know, right? And he's like, how is the trip to the, you know, cuckoo or, you know, everywhere they go, there's a name like cuckoo. (laughing) Had you enjoy cuckoo on the poo poo? She's like, it was, oh, it was great. - Well, they did. - Yeah, he's like, how was the weather? And she's like, well, the weather was chilly. And he's like, really, the weather was chilly? She's like, yeah, you know, with the girls, the weather was pretty chilly there. There was a hurricane to come in this. Something like that. And he's like, what? I'm like, you didn't get it. You know, actually my recording cut off at that point. Like I didn't. - Okay, so you can see it. - I saw that it was the best part of the show because Andrea is obviously telling her husband, she is doing the show to promote their businesses, right? So he doesn't know anything but that, obviously. We now know after watching the show. So she's not one of the wives who gets the husbands involved. All the other wives tell their husbands everything. The husbands are totally involved in it. This one, the husband didn't know anything. So when Gina was over talking to the husband, Andrea started freaking out. 'Cause she was like, oh my God, he's gonna know I'm being a bitch on TV, right? So she goes over after Gina walks away and she is so awkward. She's trying to dance with him but she can't dance. She looks like that becomes there. - It was friendly advice. If you wanna dance, you gotta dance like this, one foot forward and then don't move the rest of your body. - Yeah, pretty much. Like she can't move at all. - And she's like, oh, and he's like, well, what's wrong with her? She's like, oh, you know, I don't wanna bother you with all this stuff. You know, you've got big, important things to deal with. It's not this stuff. I was like, you are in so much trouble, Andrea. And that's probably why she's not back this year because she made her husband look like a damn fool on national TV. - Yeah. - By bitch. - By bitch. - Yeah, exactly. I wonder if people in Australia hate Andrea as much as we do because the way it is right now is all those women think that they're in the right and think that by gang up on Gina, by Gina-- - Isn't that every housewives show? They never know which one is in the right. Like they have no idea and they're always picking the wrong side. I mean, last year when they all jumped on Brandy Glanville's side, I mean, how can you be that out of touch? - Yeah, you know? No, absolutely. Chico is smart. Chico stayed out of it for the most part. And even the psychic has kind of stayed out of it, but she's stupid, you know. - Yeah. - But Lydia was like, I think maybe it's gone a bit too far. - Yeah. It's gone too far. Can we just move on? - Yeah. - Move on. - What's she saying? You know, I'm sorry and hugging, it's done. And they're like, oh, Chico's saying that. Oh, Chico! - No, let's all turn on Chico. - Oh, that was what the joke was. Andrew goes, you know what I like to call Chico? Switzerland! (both laugh) That's what she said. That was her joke. She goes, I like to call us Switzerland. - What are these huge sides to take? I mean, what is the fight? Gina was late. Okay, sorry, okay? Sorry. - She sent a thrilling email. - Oh, did you read about all of that craziness? Oh my God. Well, first of all, we're terrible 'cause we didn't even read the open letter that we should probably read it on here. - Where is it? - It's posted right here on our Facebook page. See, we're not just talking crap. We are actually on this Facebook page, looking at what you guys have been posting, but there was an open letter posted to, oh my God, this broke stuff we have to talk about too. - Oh yeah, I'm behind a little bit on something. - Open letter to Gina. Hold on, let's keep looking for it. So I'm gonna hit written, this open letter, and it was obviously one of the cast mates just telling Gina off, we have to read this. But anyway, they explained this. Oh my God, you guys are posting some delicious pictures of half naked men on our page. This is really, really good. God, there's a lot on our page this week. - Yeah, everyone went crazy. - Where's this? - Somebody even posted actually a vintage video of the two of us doing "How So I Feel Down?" - Oh my God, that's more defined. Can we raise those off the internet? - No, no, they're great. I'm a big fan of raising my embarrassing things on the internet. - So at the moment, we're-- - Oh my God, Brandy and Kim fighting. There's actually so much content, and everyone should come to our Facebook page. - Anyway, we should press stop and go over this later. But anyway, one of the main things was that the email where they're saying she's threatening legal action was not her threatening legal action, is that she's a lawyer and someone was suing her, and someone had like a gag order against her for one of her cases. So she's saying, listen, darlings, don't bring up this case on TV, because there's a gag order, is all she's saying. She was not threatening them with anything, and they were taking that and saying, oh, she sent a legal letter around. It's just, I mean, it's just like so low, you know? - I know, but they're stupid. And it's funny how all these shows actually follow the same pattern. These women all, to achieve, they're all gagging up on someone, whether it's in Melbourne or OC or Beverly Hills. Oh, did you find it? - No, it's Apollo, that's Apollo running away from jail. - That's okay, we don't-- - It's okay, I'm listening to you. - Well, you don't look at it. - I can't help but look at your scrolling. Well, the point is this. So Jeanette is our hero. I'm trying to remember what else happened in the episode. There was Janet, I can't tell what's going on with Janet. Janet was always one of my favorites, but she's-- - I think Janet just succumbed to the pressure of all the other girls, 'cause every other girl's bitching about Jeanette, and she was like, well, I wanna be friends with them, and she's not friends with them, because they were off like going out of town and doing all this fun stuff, and she was just stuck in her apartment talking about her lame gay rent-a-date, or whatever she had. - Well, it's so funny because when the show began the season premiere, I think there was a scene where Lydia and Andrea and Gina all got together and had lunch in like a dark room, and they were all saying how much they adore each other, and I was like, nope, nope, this is going to shit. Any real housewives or housewives rip off like ladies of London, whatever, whoever, the three people are in that first step. There's always three people that get together for lunch or whatever, and they say, "I just adore so-and-so." Like, I just feel like she's just great, known her forever, and you know, I can tell we're gonna be friends for a long time. It means that by the end of the season they hate each other. - And what's up with the dumb one? - What's the dumb? - The dumb whore who signed a contract with her husband said she'd fuck him whenever he wanted. That was so disgusting. - Was that on Melbourne? - Yes. - Melbourne? - Yes. - Which one? - The one who gets, she flies in a helicopter to get a special cheese. - Yeah, that's Lydia. - That's Lydia. - That's Lydia over the store. We go to the helicopter. - She's like, "I don't, I only look." She's like, "The only thing I don't like to share "is my husband." - Oh, gross, all the saggy bald has been. I love when she told the cheese lady. She's like, "Don't talk to my husband like that." Then anyway, her, she... Chica was like, "Haven't you all been friends "for a long time?" She's like, "No." - No, it's only been eight years. - She's been friends for eight years, and she's like, "No, no, no." - No, no, no. - No, no, no. - It's like, okay, now you're not, 'cause you're the one who said you were. - Yeah, that was ridiculous to me. I'm like, these women are suspicious. It's actually crazy how these shows care. - They're vicious over the nothing. Like, some of these shows, like, they have fun fights. Like, you can understand what they're about. - Well, they're legitimately pissed over, semi-legitimate things, but what am I talking about? - What was the initial fight? - I've probably been brainwashed if I think that the real housewives are legit fights. - No, when Andrea first got mad at you and was giving her some friendly advice, what was that friendly advice? She says, "Sometimes you say things in a brush." - Oh, you know what it was? - You're a barrister. In real life, you're a barrister. But, Dene, you're not a barrister, you're just a person. - No, it was. - And Dene is like, "I've just been sitting here." - She was like, "I'm just sitting here." - Yeah, but no, I can't tell you these ladies. - I think what happened was this. It started with the psychic, the psychic did a reading, and then Lydia told, Lydia told Gina something like, "Oh, yeah." - I think Gina told Lydia, like, "I deal with the facts, "I don't deal with spirits, whatever." And then I think Lydia told the psychic, what Gina said, or vice versa. The psychic told Lydia something, but Lydia gossiped, and then Gina and the psychic had a fight, right? Or they had a confrontation at a party, but it was fine, they squashed it, right? But then Andrea was still mad, she didn't like the way that Gina spoke to the psychic, I think. And so that's why Andrea's like, "You have to realize, a little bit from the advice, "sometimes you're a bit brash in your life." - Yeah, because Andrea wasn't even in that. She wasn't even involved with any of that. She just got into it because Lydia had been talking her head, because Lydia finally got mad, because Gina was calling her a liar over and over. - Yeah. - Well then they were like, "Oh, look at Gina, "or over there being confrontational at a party." And it's just Gina going like, "Hello, little drinking, "a little light body, and they're like, "Oh, shit, what a bitch." - Well, the other thing is that Lydia was upset because Lydia had gossiped, and she basically was gossiping, because Gina went and confronted the psychic. So then Lydia was told, "Sick, drink, drink, drink." - And Andrea says she doesn't believe the word you say, and it's all crazy, and you're talking to demons. And she's like, "But it's my time, make my living." First of all, it is not how you make your living. I have not seen you do one psychic reading this whole time, stupid. - I know, although I am really starting to like that girl, she's so crazy. - She is, I mean, like when they went to the distillery to check out their alcohol, the bottle and the alcohol, and the guy was saying, "Yes, basically it costs like $250,000." She's like, "Well, you know, I'm a professional psychic. "I think you should know that." It's like, "Oh, okay, great." Like, what? Like, you talk to the ghost of the bottles that are unmade, you know? - Yeah, he doesn't care. She's like, "I need you to be positive." And he's like, "No, then I'm just being honest." And he's just like, "Well, that's not what I need." - I love that girl though, 'cause I started talking like her. I do things like, "I'm gorgeous, look at me. "I'm just gorgeous." I mean, look at my body. It's amazing. Look at this shirt, looks only. Look at this dress, I'm gorgeous, look at my breast. - Shine, shine, shine, shine. - Shine, shine, shine, shine. - Of course, I'm happy. I'm gorgeous, my husband's gorgeous, we're rich. He's a rock star silver chair. - Silver chair. By the way, yesterday, I kid you not, I had breakfast with someone who wore a silver chair shirt. - Nah, nah. - And I was gonna be like, I was like, "Oh, real house wasn't mailed there." But I was like, "Oh, he's straight. "He has no idea what I'll be talking about." - Yeah, he actually really likes the music. I think it was like a vintage something. - Silver chair, silver chair, silver chair vodka. What are they calling it? They're calling it like the Moscati or something like that, which I'm like, you know, it sounds like Moscato. So people can get confused. They're thinking they're getting a bottle of Moscato. I don't know, it doesn't matter. The point is this, that everything is spiraled out of control because that initial fight with the psychic. - Yeah, that's the big fight of the year. - Because Andrea, let me give you a little bit of friendly advice, and then Gina went into the bathroom and was like, what a con, what a con. That was hilarious. She's like, "I'm going to tell Lydia. "You're a con, why are you repeating everything I'm saying?" You know, and then of course, Janet's like, "Oh, yes, darling. "You know what she said about you, that you're a con." She's like, "Oh, I'm rather cranky. "I'm not that cranky about this. "I have to get this off my chest." But darling, you did say that in the bathroom. Gina's like, "No, I didn't." And Janet's like, "Oh, you're right. "Never mind. I feel so much better now." (laughing) - I covered off my chest. - I love that Gina just denies. Because like, I don't think that she should have to be honest about calling someone to cut in the bathroom. I mean, if you're not allowed to call someone to cut in the bathroom, where are you allowed to do it? - Yeah, there's gotta be some place where you can call someone to cut, by the way, donate to our page. (laughing) - Yeah, exactly. - All you ladies out there. - Well, but I mean, I'm speaking for women. Like if you have shit to talk about another woman, you're gonna do it in the bathroom, right? I mean, also, they've just been attacked. If you've just been attacked about all this ridiculous stuff, of course you go to the bathroom and be like, "What the fuck?" You're like, "Yeah, Lydia's gonna do it. "What's her book gonna be about? "Like, vaginas, like whatever, you know?" - Yeah, and it was just a stupid thing to say. Like, "Oh, it's a book about vaginas." And then they repeat it like, "Oh, she said your book "is gonna be about vaginas." And she's like, "Well, I wouldn't be about vaginas." He said that it's bad for my reputation, because now people are gonna be waiting for a book about vaginas. And I'm not writing a book about vaginas. I don't know anything about vaginas. She's ruined it for me. You know, I need to check my Wikipedia page. What if it's filled with stories about me telling things about vaginas, you know? I don't do that. You know, it rained my life as an author. - Like, "Oh, my God, calm down." You should be allowed to talk shit about people in bathrooms, on the phones. - And on the phones. - And on podcasts. - Yeah, on the podcast, it doesn't count. - Yeah. All right, should we move on? - Yeah, if I ever saw any of those women, except for Andrea, I would be lovely to them. Even Janet, or I think it's a stupid whore at this point. - Yeah, I like Janet. You're like 90. - Okay, why don't you stop acting 13? Stop it. Even the stuff like her son was in some horrible accident he was being burned and I'm like, "You're a bitch." 'Cause it was terrible. - And she tries to make some point that's supposed to resonate. She's like, "Isn't it funny how I've used plastic surgery "to make my foot for beauty, "and now my son is using it to make him better?" I'm like, "What is?" No, that is not ironic or I feel terrible for your son. Like, why are you trying to like... - If he could look half as good as you. Like, that's not really a gold post. - Yeah. - She looks scary. Her face actually does look really good. - But that's like... - But that's creepy. She's actually cute. She's just, I'm just mad at her for turning. - On Gina. - Yeah, I don't like that. - Yeah, I don't mean to do it. - Gina just seems super fucking cool. - Yeah, I like Gina. She has a job, which is so rare. She dresses crazy. - She's not just a job, she's like a lawyer. She has to use her brain and her job. - I just like that she just, she shows up and she's like, whatever, and she has a good time and people just get all over her. And when they're like, you called my book The Vagina, she's like, no, I didn't. (laughing) - It's so funny. It's like, I don't care. Like, what am I gonna fight with you about that? - Yeah, no, I mean, she's won the season already. - Yeah, she won. - She won. So let's go on to Real Housewives in New Jersey. - Jurors, okay. I do not need anything up people's butts. I don't need anyone fucking their moms. I don't need any more, almost cancer. - This show is disgusting. It's like medical procedures of gross old men with wax eyebrows and waxed bodies. I don't need it. Get your fingers out of Geno's butt or whatever that guy's name is. Let's say Reno. - Reno. - Get your fingers out of Reno's butt. I don't wanna see it. - I know, he's like, oh, I gotta get my golden clean. Gotta get, gotta get checked out. They're gonna turn me over. All right. - Hi, they take your colon. What's beautiful? - Honey, guess what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna take a straw and put some koala in it and squirt it up your butt. - I don't know what that means. It's so clean, honey. Oh, you're calling, ooh. I'm gonna call Toressa. I'm gonna call Toressa invited to the colonoscopy. - Why are we watching a colonoscopy? It's one of the husbands first of all. It's not even a real house life. I know. If that's your storyline that you're following your husband with cameras to get his colonoscopy, it is time to just quit. What are you even doing on this show? It's your first year. You should be out there starting fights with like the main cast members. Call Dean a fat. I mean, come on, make an effort. - Yeah, I mean, I think they're trying to parallel it with, I just called her cancer. Who hit them? - Almost. - What's her face? - Amber. - Amber. - She's like-- - We should just start calling Cancer Amber. - She basically like, she's like, I got a call from the doctor. I got a call from the doctor and he's like, he said, he doesn't know. He doesn't know. - No, no. - It's inclusive. - They're like, well, it's probably fine. She's like, I don't know. I can't go down this path again. I can't do it. - I know. - It's like, I get tested for cancer every month. - It's like, and you just never know what's gonna come back in those tests. Like, I can't go down this road again because whatever the hell gets out of here. - It's like, she's not even crying. She's at the doctor every month and it's a test and she has no reason to think she has cancer. She is so stupid. And while she's doing it, she's wearing like, okay, she's wearing this Miss America dress that's so tight around her tits. Like, her tits are hanging out of this dress. And every time she moves, it's moving, each one of her tits. So her tits are like, her like, you know, saline sacs are like bouncing up and down. While she's like, fake crying about possibly maybe having cancer. And her face is so tanned, it's like brown, but her scalp is like bright white. - Yes. - I mean, the woman is a disgusting phony mess. Get her the hell off. - Well, the best is the way this show started. It was like, Ash Wednesday. And she's, she's in there in the church for Ashwin. And she's like, oh, I can't help but think about like Theresa. I have to like, we have to like, I have to call her. I have to find out if she's okay. Like in the middle of like your Ashwin day thing, like that seems a little crazy. - I mean, churches, even churches are cameras now. What church lets people in, puts cameras right in front of them during an Ashwin's day service. That is so disrespectful and gross. And I'm not a religious person, but that is disgusting. And they're talking through church. And then they're sitting there talking with those stupid crucifixes on her. - You know, like this is all real. And then she's like, I gotta go call Theresa. - Like right now. - What, that woman you met one time? - Exactly. And she's like, I just know that when I had the cancer, like it was such a dark place, you know, it really meant a lot for people to reach out to me. It's like, this has nothing to do with your cancer. - Yeah. - She said it multiple times. Like, I know what Theresa's going through 'cause cancer. - Yeah. - What? This doesn't even make any sense. And Theresa's one of the dumbest people on the planet. And even she can see right through you. - Yeah, she's like, so many questions, too many questions. - But I liked that Theresa was like, yeah, I don't wanna talk about it. If I wanna talk about it with you, I'll talk about it. But don't ask me about it again. - Yeah. - You know, I'm kind of talked her down, but what the hell? - Oh, I know. But Theresa's also, she had her dumb moment too, because she goes and tells Dina about this rumor that Reno had sex with Santa. And Theresa's like, she's like, so Victoria says this story to me, but I don't wanna be part of the gossip. I don't wanna be part of the gossip. I don't, you know, I let other people ask those questions. I let other people spread that gossip. I'm like, what do you think you're doing right now? You are like voluntarily bringing this up to dinner. - And of course, Dina brings it up at a dinner party or something. - Yeah, it's gonna come up, though, 'cause they're all going to flower, though. - Yeah, that's gonna be good. - I know. I mean, as good as the show can be, 'cause right now, I don't know why I'm watching it. - You know what's sad? I had a dream last night where it involved like Jacqueline and Caroline, and I'm like, really sad that they got into my subconscious, that I'm dreaming about these two videos. - Well, but they showed Jacqueline in the previews, so she's gonna be coming back. - Oh. - And it's like Jacqueline's reaction to watching the TV while Theresa's being indicted or whatever it is. - Yeah. - I can't, what's Jacqueline? Like, that's who you're bringing back. - She's put that in, you know? - You're not gonna save this show. - Why not Danielle stop? Why not Danielle stop? - Just cut this show off. I mean, it's ridiculous. These shows are usually enjoyable, but right now, I mean, I was so excited about Dina coming back. She doesn't bother to even try to do anything, and she's so offensive. Like, she doesn't even understand. First of all, have you seen that wedding show that she was on a VH1? It's amazing. It's on YouTube, and I only saw a little part of it because my friend was talking about it. But it's like my big, fat, fabulous wedding or something. And it's her wedding to Tommy that cost over a million dollars. And she's like, "Tommy, but I'm on a bigger take, and I want 50,000 people." - Like, she's a total lunatic, raving, bimbo, moron, horrible person. And to see her acting like this now is just hilarious, 'cause he was cheating on her then. Tommy was talking about it. She was like, "Well, you know what, I've been a bad boy." And she's like, "Yeah, he's been a bad boy, but I forgave him." - 'Cause he's rich, right? And she wants her TV wedding. - Yes, and she's still doing the same thing now. It's like the same exact thing. No respect for her, get her off. I mean, at least if she was entertaining, but she's so offensive because she's got this little gay friend or whatever, and he's moving, and the way that she was talking about him that she doesn't even realize how gross she's being. She's like, "You know, maybe I relied on him too much when I was going through things with Jaclyn and Caroline, but you know, he's a good little soldier, and I'm sad to see him go." I mean, you call them a soldier, and then in the card on her daughter, she's like, "Don't worry, honey, we'll find you another brother." - My cool, I feel so bad for Lexi. I feel like Lexi's gonna have some real developmental issues because like I feel like her mom- - Whatever, she hasn't crossed fun, I don't care. - Well, she's, I feel like she's fostering like a real sort of neediness in her, you know? Like, like, Dina is needy. Dina is a needy mother. She's like, "She cries." She's funny, she's very funny, but she's like, she's just there, she cries, she whimpers, you know? She's like, "Oh, everyone's leaving me." - Anyone who means to surround themselves with three-legged animals has issues. They need to be, they need to feel like good people or like they're doing something, they need to be needed. - I still also would like to know why she's in this huge fight with Caroline. It still never totally come out, and I don't like that they are, they're not explaining it, and I don't know, something is so fishy there. They probably are both to blame, but I can't help but feel like Dina is, you know, I, as much as Caroline has annoyed me in the recent seasons, I feel like Caroline has a better head on her shoulder than Dina because Dina is still BFF with Theresa and Joe. You know, like, I can't trust someone. - Well, Dina is not the, I don't think Dina is BFFs with them. She just is for the show. - You think so, but she's like the godmother of this. She says like, she acts like she's BFF, and she takes her side, at least publicly, and I'm just like, these are two criminals, absolute criminals, okay, and they're also dumb people. They're idiots, and you are blindly taking their side. - That does not make me, that doesn't make me respect you. - Their father was supposedly killed by the mob or something, right? - Right, yeah. - So they've got, they've had that kind of background. I mean, in Jersey, like, if you get, look how everybody's changed once Theresa and Joe got indicted, everyone's like, oh, we love them. Oh, God bless them because it's like a cool, you know, we've talked about on this before. It's like watching the godfather. It's like cool if you go to jail, or you're, you know, they look, they look up to that. So they're actually doing a good job. Good job, Theresa and Joe, good job. - Yeah, unless he did Melissa. - Rumors of the week, they're getting divorced. Have you been reading that? - I think I just saw that headline on our Facebook, Facebook page. - Yes, that's where I saw it as well. - You have a little something on your cheek. - What is that? - What is it? - It was like a little piece of fluff. - Fluff, yeah. - Yeah, the rumors are they're selling all their homes and splitting everything because they're gonna get divorced. - Okay. - It's probably gonna be deported. - Right. - Bye. - So now we'll get to Theresa spin off that Caroline totally called that she's gonna get, which is Theresa trying to do it on her own. - Yeah. - And I hope they do because it'll lead to scenes like that scene of Theresa and the SUV when she is like, "Mom, I'm real proud of how you're handling this." And she's like, "I love you, honey." - And then she leaves the car and the little ones in the back sleeping and Theresa's like, "Yeah, you know, honey, people go through stuff 'cause sometimes stuff happens to people and it's part of life, you know?" And then little girl goes, "I'm tired, shut up, mom." - Meanwhile, people on our Facebook page, two different people took pictures from that scene to show that neither Jia nor Adriana were wearing seatbelts. So the bad mothering skills, thank God for the internet, make sure no one gets off easy. - That's funny. - Yeah, that's that. Another reason why Dina should not be friends with her because she doesn't enforce the seatbelt rule. I don't think Melissa did anything this week to cheat the most in jail. - Yes, Melissa just gets harder and harder to watch. I feel like she's just obviously on something. - She did nothing. - They're poor. They did not, they keep saying they sold their last home, they did not sell their last home. - Oh yeah, they were looking at it. - They were looking at their plans for like LA chic, like Chateau, which was not LA at all, or chic. It's like some terrible Caesar's Palace rip off. They did not sell their last home. They said they sold it, they did not. They rented it, the guy never paid rent. He's getting evicted to another out like a couple hundred thousand dollars on that. So now they own that plus whatever they're building. Those two are fucked. - Yeah, they're very fucked because this show is not gonna last forever. Or at least they are rolling it. - That's, it's not gonna last long. - And we know, Barbara, does anybody watching it? - I think the ratings are really slid. It's been horrible. - It's been a real decline. - And I wish I could say it's all the twins in Amber's fault. And I think most of it is 'cause they're unwatchable. Like I can't watch them. - Yeah, but Teresa won't do anything or talk about it and he thinks she's going to jail. - Yeah. - And Dean is not gonna bother doing anything. So what are you left with? - Exactly. - There's nothing going on. - You just have the twins and they're, they're potentially slutty mother. Santa? (laughing) - Yeah, make it about Santa. The only things that have been interesting so far this year are Santa fucking Reno. - Yeah, which may not even have happened. - Victoria Gotti. - That's it. - Yeah. Now I'm trying to think if there's anything else in the show. I don't remember literally anything else. We could talk about some gossip I guess in the meantime before we go on to Below Deck. Wait, do you have any other notes? - Hold on, let me see. We're very professional here. - Tree talking to her sleep kid. Joe, something drama of, oh, I really like that scene where Joe, midget Joe, is like, you know, I really feel - Yeah. (laughing) - The tree. - Unlock your imagination with Audible when you listen to audio content in your mind as free to paint the scenes and feel the emotions of a great story. Plus, a great narrator can really take things to the next level. 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Additional taxes, fees and restrictions apply, see Mint Mobile for details. - And Joe, it's like you not set up almost like five minutes of him trying to act and it was terrible. - Dong Underwear, because Reno wore those underwear. - Oh my God, they had blurred out. - Like he had lined his wiener and made it into a penis. - Yes, I can. - When Joe Gorgas like, in the future, you're gonna think, you're gonna look in the history books and you're gonna see what a Joe Gorga house was. It's like, like you've never looked in the history book. - And the book is, and the history book can have a photo of like a bunch of wood on it. I'm like, a pile of wood and dust and rocks. - Yeah, it's gonna be like wood faux stain to look like a marble in your master. - It's gonna look like a video. - It's gonna look like a sandy afterwards. - Talking in church with cameras, Ash Wednesday, I feel for her 'cause cancer. She's infringing in my space. Fuckin' Theresa, never will learn to speak. I love that. And loyal soldier friend flowing. - Yeah, I did mine out. - Yeah, good. - While we talk about this piece of gossip, which we haven't talked about yet, which comes from the real housewives of Beverly Hills. - Yes. - Which is that there was apparently a brawl involving Brandy Glendale and Kim-- - A physical brawl. - Physical. - Physical, with like a golf. - Yes, yes. - Like Brandy attacked two machines. - Love it because at that last reunion when Kim is sticking up for Brandy and their best friends, I was like, the woman who called you, like who outed you for being a meth head on national TV. You're suddenly friends with, just because she doesn't like Lisa. - I guarantee this. - Really, Kim? - I guarantee this is what happened. As the season films-- - And look at that hideous picture. I mean, both of you. Brandy's face is so full of fillers. She looks like a garbage plant kid. Like a clown. - Yeah, a garbage plant kid. - Yeah, like Kim looks like this napkin that I have been playing when they're crumbling up. - Kim looks all right. I think Kim, for Kim, I think she looks all right. I think Brandy looks scarier. - Kim looks like a palish shoe that you sanded down and realized it was cardboard under me. - She looks terrible. - She sort of looks like a-- - Moisturize. - She looks like a feminine version of Andy Warhol. - They need to start adding more, they need to start adding like aloe vera to Pinot Grisio. - So here's my theory about what happened behind this, what led to this fight, based on very little. I think the Richard sisters saw that they were on the wrong side of the Bravo fans because they were gang up on Lisa and they realized that the Bravo fans all hate Brandy now. And I feel like they probably changed their tune and they're probably frustrated Brandy and then Brandy probably felt like there was a lack of loyalty and they probably caused some tension and it led to this fight. That's what I'm gonna say. - Yeah, 'cause it's all changed 'cause I saw Lisa's AWLS talent, the ice bucket thing, what is that? - Yeah, ALS. - Poor Lou Gehrig. - Sorry, Lou, all right, we'll name another disease after you. - Yeah. - Okay, but that challenge Lisa took it and she was like, "I nominate Brandy Clannville, Brandy Clannville, Brandy Clannville." - So I guess they're friends again. - Or maybe she's doing it despite her. - You don't spite someone with some autism challenge or whatever. - Well maybe 'cause she knew that Brandy wouldn't want to do it or something. Maybe either, she knew that Brandy didn't want to do it or she'd be in past aggressive being like, "I'm gonna take the higher road and still pretend I'm with friends." - I don't know, I can't imagine the show redeeming itself 'cause it got so ridiculous last year. But now that I've seen the other housewives shows, while New York, I kind of like this here actually. - And Atlanta, but after seeing this show specifically, this jersey, I'm like, I'm ready for Beverly Hills to come back. - Yeah, Jersey is really terrible. Jersey is, this is one of the worst seasons of all the real housewives ever. This is worse than DC, which I liked. And maybe as bad as Miami season one, which although I liked Miami season one. So this may be one of the worst seasons of all time. - Season three then. Season three was pretty painful with Miami. - Oh, season three of Miami was very bad. This is a really bad season. The thing with New Jersey is that I feel like nothing is happening. Nothing is happening. Like nothing. - And no one talks to each other and no one likes each other in real life. So there's no connection there. It just doesn't make any sense. I don't know why they would have to-- - They had to bring in Victoria Gotti to bring in some gossip. - That's really sad. - I don't know. - Like they-- - I don't know, a woman who had a show canceled on E. - A&E? - A&E? - A&E? - Oh my God. I mean, that's really scraping. - But I'm just waiting for Celebrity Apprentice, the next Celebrity Apprentice to come through. Because Brandi and-- - Oh, and Kenya more. - And Kenya were both on-- - Yeah, yeah. And they hate each other. - Yeah. Apparently, Kenya was very difficult on the shoot. - Yeah, Kenya. - I was still a Vivica Fox's phone and like, "Oh God, it's so difficult going through menopause on her Twitter." - Oh, I did not realize that. - She's like, "I don't all these fake tweets." - Oh my God. I can't wait. No, I heard from a producer on the show. - So good. - Yeah. - It's that she's very difficult. - And Donald Trump tells her when he fires her that she's the worst human being he's ever met in his life. - Wow. - Kenya. - Yeah. - Why are they waiting? Why is NBC waiting? I feel like-- - I don't know, actually, because it's been in the work for a long time and they still haven't announced it. - The last season, the All-Star won, did not do well in the ratings, which is why it wasn't on this past year. But I think that having Brandi and Kenya-- - But that Trump show has been on-- it's been on the skids for years. Like, I don't even know whether-- - Well, no way. When they did celebrity print, it's a rebounded. And then-- but I think that they're smart. They're wisening up by having two Bravo stars on there because that's good. And it's-- I love the fat-thip Kenya on there because only the ramifications on Atlanta with Nini. That is Nini's Trump card. I think it's every week, and I make the same pun every week, and it's not even supposed to be a pun. But that truly is Nini's Trump card to say that she was-- - Nani Moore. - Well, now she's on a Broadway show, right? - Yeah. Now, I mean, she's been on the normal show because she's been on sitcoms. She's been in that-- - What's the college show? - --a new normal. - Oh, yeah. - Oh. - Yeah. - What's Cirque du Soleil's show? - She was on "Sumanity." - Oh, god. - Oh, god. - I would want my tickets back. - She was on "Sumanity" for a couple of months. What was she doing? - I don't know. - What on earth was Nini makes doing Cirque du Soleil probably just sitting on her fat ass. - Yeah. Chomping something with her giant teeth. - She'll like, watch her get through this rope in less than five seconds. - Oh. - Let's see. Then she's-- - She's on a Broadway show. - She's gonna be on Broadway. - What was the show again that she's on? - She's on Broadway. - It's not bad. It's like Cinderella. - Yeah, yeah. Cinderella's not bad. I mean, it's closing. She's gonna close it out. - Is she gonna be like the godmother? - Yeah, the evil stepmother. - The evil stepmother. Oh, that works. - Yeah. - That makes sense. - Yeah. - I believe that. I don't know. - I mean, he's like gonna be totally insufferable now. Atlanta will be good this season. You know that Apollo did not report to jail initially? - We talked about that. - Did we talk about that? - Yeah, I think-- - Oh, yeah. We did talk about that. - Yeah, Apollo just ran away from jail. - He's in jail now. - And I saw his Instagram message. Did you see it? Stupid Apollo. He's like, hi, everybody. - It's me, Apollo. - I forgot how he talked. - It's me, Apollo. I'm here. I just wanted y'all to know I made it okay and I'm about to turn myself in and I'll see you out soon. And I'll be keeping you updated. I was like, you're not gonna be keeping anybody updated. You're in jail, Apollo. - Oh, my God. - They do not let ease Instagram and jail, stupid. - Oh, my God. Keep everyone updated. - Yeah, he said something like that. Like, I'll keep out, talk to you later. I'm like, no, you won't. - Yeah, in eight years. When in your butt so least, you don't even know when you're pooping. I've talked about poop a lot today, isn't that weird? I don't even have to poop. It must be the presence of being in my apartment. - Yeah, my being. So should we go on to below deck? - Sure. Vicki Gumbelson Brooks Ayers admits violence against her. He admitted violence against her. - All right, I'll click the link. This is from, by the way, this is from Michael Cook. - Oh. - Michael Brooks said. - Well, we all knew he was a pig. Isn't this old news? I think this is like further, further old news. Do you know, by the way, that there was a, like a gay bashing in Philadelphia and Greg from Real Housewives of New Jersey, Greg Tall, gay guy, he, he has helped, like, solve the crime. - Yeah. With Instagram. - Yeah. Which is actually crazy. If you read the story, it's actually terrible. - Or like Facebook. - It's good for him. They were checking on their Facebook likes. - No, because what happened was, it was a bunch of, it was like 15 people of like 20 somethings, men and women. And they, they attacked these two gay guys and then Greg somehow got a hold of an Instagram photo of this group when they were at the restaurant beforehand because you could see in the surveillance video that some of the people were from that photo. And I guess he must have been looking at that photo on Instagram or whatever. So he tweeted the photo out to be like, you know, some people from this party gay bashed. And then someone started up a fake Twitter account and so that way they could be anonymous. And they recognized the restaurant. And so then they checked on Facebook to see who had recently checked in at that restaurant. - Whoa. - Found at least three of the people from the picture and let the authorities know. And now it's a whole thing. The authorities are closing in and the people, some of the people started to lawyer up. And it's kind of great. So Greg actually played a role because by him tweeting that image out, someone else was able to use it to find the check-ins and all that stuff. - So, kind of cool. Good for Greg. - Yeah, good for that guy. - Good for that guy. - Okay. - And shame on gay bashing. Who does that? Especially a big party of women and men, both? - I know. - Keep it classy, Philly. - Philly trash. Not saying that Philly is full of trash, but these were Philly trash. - Delicious cream cheese though. - Oh. - That's good. - It's the best. - It is truly the best cream cheese. - It is. - I had a big one with cream cheese today, by the way. - I really like their fluffy cream cheese. - Oh, the whipped? - Yeah. I like the whipped too. - 'Cause you can binge easier. You don't have to take the way for it to get to room temperature. - I would actually eat like a bar of cream cheese if I could. If someone would give it to me if it was like, "Okay, for my body to do that," I would actually sit there and eat the entire bar. - Is one of the Kardashian girls on radar online? - Okay. So, what was this girl? - Why is there a GIF of her just walking? That's so stupid. - Yeah. - I hate the world. - Okay. We're on radar online. We're reading an article where Brooks has admitted to violence against the Vicky. And... - He used violence against his reality star girlfriend. It admits he once owed thousands of dollars to the IRS. - So business associate filmed this footage where he says, I guess, Ayers has complaints about the real house was supposed to be and he says, "Well, it's a reality show and I've made Jack compared to what Vicky makes. I made 17,000. I made 17,000. - Well, you're not a star, you're not a stylist. - I'm surprised that you gave a stupid cock face. - Yeah. - And I love that the sleazy footage was filmed in a Las Vegas hotel room by a business associate. - People are so gross. - I know. Should we just watch it? - Yeah, we're going to watch this. - Three minutes. We're going to watch it. We're going to play it. Okay, we're going to just talk over it while we're playing. - Yeah. Can you guys hear it? I hope you can. - Because you can't talk back to us. Like, can you guys hear it? - Oh, yes. I missed it. - Oh, yeah, he's saying he didn't make any money. - It's a real sleazy hotel room by the way. - Yeah, this is really gross. - This is like a motel eight. - He's... - I think he's drunk. - I love that he's complaining about having to pay child support. I don't think they're going to be able to hear this. - Yeah, I don't think so. - Sorry about that. - Some of the press stop. - Yeah, Brooks is disgusting. I guess you could just imagine what that's going to be like three for three minutes. - Yeah. It's all the same shit. - He grabbed her. Okay, Ayres has previously been accused of making threats towards Gumbelson in the past. And the other person in the video brings up a new claim that when Ayres and Gumbelson were on vacation on Puerto Vallarta, he grabbed her during a drunken night out. And Brooks said, "I didn't grab her in the back of the hair like that," he says, extending his left arm and out palm open. "I was mad and I was wrong, and that's the only source of violence they have seen me do." Oh gosh. So he just said he didn't do it. The only thing I've ever done with Vicki, when I just came out of this bathroom and we were in this place and I saw a guy grab her ass and I came up and said, "What the hell?" And she said, "It's not a big deal." And I said, "Yes, it's a big deal." And I was wrong. Ever right or wrong, or excuse to ever touch a woman, particularly in public or private, ever. So I'll own that. But it was never a heterous slap. Mm-hmm. Who cares? Is that really it? I thought he beat Vicki? I know. That sounds just a point. This was like honestly like a nothing article. This was... Michael. Whatever. Michael. Come on, Michael. Come on, Michael. I'll raise your game. That was a lot of time we devoted to that. Yeah. That was a big nothing. You didn't even do anything new. That's done. Taking a protective violence, why don't we go on to Below Deck? Okay. So we actually just watched this together. We sure did. We sure did. Babes. Cleaning things. Okay. Well, I watched, I had some extra time this week and I watched last week's episode because people were all pissy that we didn't watch it and said it was really good and you know I hate that shit. But I watched it and I laughed so hard it was so good. Yeah. So last week there was this like... Below Deck production. Get asshole on there. It was just like this. For some reason it makes me more mad when gays act like that because it's one of us. You know? And I'm like, come on. You're an ambassador of the boat. Ronnie, you only like the normal gays. Yeah. Good in trouble for our kinds of gays that we like. But I just don't like when gay people act like that, you know? Yeah. I don't like when Lebanese people act like that girl on Game of Crowns either, okay? And I don't like when my Jewish people act like Princess Long Island. But you know what? We have Bravo to thank for sending us all back. Yes. Bravo hurts all of us. Yeah. You know how there's like a wave of antisemitism going on in Europe right now? It's like the Worsens World War II. They just got gay. Because of Bravo. They just got Princesses Long Island. Yeah, they probably did. That's... Good job, Andy Cohen. Thanks a lot. Your own people. Yeah. You're hurting. That's why those gay bashing people did it. They got like Bravo free for a week and all the gay people are getting killed in Philly. All the Europeans are like, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second. We were right. Yeah. Totally. So anyway, the guy was just like an evil queen. And the girl who's like, Shelly Long crossed with... Cait Blanchett. Cait Blanchett. Yeah, that's good. Cait Blanchett. I love her. She's like a smart ass, like too good for this kind of girl. And I really... Yeah. She is too good for it. She's way too classy. She always says, I have a resting bitch face. Which is true. And she's also a bitch. Well, her excuse was, she goes, you know, I have bitching rest face, which is a real thing. I love it. Like that is a real disease. Yeah. But the guy told her she was acting bitchy. Like he basically told her off in front of everybody. Yeah. And so to get back at him, she always does a special fold of the towel or the blankets on the bed and instead of shaving it like an anchor or a star, she shaped it like a big cock. Yeah. I left it on his bed. A rocket ship, I thought. And it causes huge controversy and all the maids are like, Oh my God. You did that. Now we're not going to get a tip. You bitch. Just because someone was completely misogynistic, it means you are national television, doesn't give you the right to make a penis shape out of a blanket. It was so good. Oh, yeah. So that was last week. And so this week, this week things started off on a casual, no pieces pieces. Yeah. Okay. It's actually, they're only chips. Bring the whole bag over. Oh, they're chip. Like cooking chips? Yeah. Sorry, I got it. I made some avina gardens, chocolate peanut butter, globs and they called for these. Oh my God. They're peanut butter chocolate chips. Yeah. Thank you. Little snack time for Ben and I. Yeah, snack time. Whoa. Sorry guys. I'm taking them all. Oh, you are? You're so skinny. I haven't had lunch. I'm starving. This is an on a garden lunch right here because you know how this bitch eats when those candles are off. Those cameras are off. Oh, be alert. It's not here to eat that off. My dropping ship, I don't know where it is. Yeah, if I was here eating lunch and there were no cameras on, she would be eating chocolate chips. Mm hmm. So anyway, this week, those are lovely aren't they? They're really good. Looks too if you want. No, no. Okay. Um, so they, first what happens is they all go to, um, peg legs, which is like their local canteen, which you know what, uh, shame on you, bravo. You just had a beaver on the show because we name it something a little more politically for us. I know. Could you imagine if a beaver had flown down and she'd, she's already so stressed from the flight. There should have been a banner thing read and then you take her to peg legs. No, she would have been like, you know, this is how to show me a vacation. I got here and they've named a restaurant after me. Thank you. This is all I've been asking is for a little respect. Glasses shaped like a beaver. Drinking out of empty legs. Stumless wine glasses. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Oh, so anyway, so they're there. And so first we have, who's the hot guy? What's his name? I don't know the name, John Aids. So there's the hot guy. I call them all Romana. Okay. So there's the hot guy. Yeah. Mm hmm. That girl, I'm, I don't know, that girl's just not, that girl's not as hot as she thinks she is. That's all I'm saying. Yeah, exactly. So, so they go out to this bar and so Janice starts to talk to these douchebags when she's flirting with them and they're really bad and then they call over the other two girls and they're all sitting at the table and the other two girls realize, you know, these guys are douchebags. We're not going to stay here. So you get up to leave and the guys could say, oh, go fuck yourself. And they're like, what, and then they're like, yeah, you shit fuck cunts, whatever. They're like real assholes, huge assholes. So then the hot guy goes, Romana, I really enjoyed this part. The hot guy at this point was shirtless, for really no reason, shirtless, when he found out that these guys were saying this stuff about his sister, I put on a shirt and like when running over the bar, I was going to start a fight. Romana never goes like on the couch and go, oh my God. I was really mad, actually, because he put back on his shirt to do it and then never took it back off again. Like, thanks a lot for messing that up, sister. And I'm thinking to myself, why is this Janisse girl messing around with these douchebags when she has this super hot guy who wants to like basically bone her and he's sensitive and sweet? She wasn't doing anything with them except accepting their free drinks. Yeah, but like that's, and that's the thing with guys, they're like, I bought you drinks. That means we get to gangbanging back in our room. It's like, no, that doesn't mean that, okay? It means you get a shot. It's like buying a lottery ticket. But she was, I think, though, that she was, and this is not a blaming the victim thing, I think she was enjoying the flirtations, for sure. She was enjoying the attention, but it's like, you get that, you should be able to get that fulfilled from the guy, the hot guy. Yeah, but the thing is, she was, she was sharing a cabin with him, it's like sleeping in a closet together. True. As it is. You can't be dating somebody on a boat. Yeah. The thing is she's really flirting flirtatious with him and turning him down, like, so she finally gave him a speech about why she's turning him down. She's like, well, here's the thing. I think we're really compatible and we could be in a really good relationship. That's true. Together. Fundamentally. Fundamentally. That's how you start. You just say, look, I'm sorry it's not going to work out with me as I have a boyfriend. I'm into my boyfriend. Yeah. Then, you don't say we're perfect for each other, but I'm really compatible with my boyfriend. I love the anger and she's. She's also like looking at him, like, kind of romantically, and then later, she's like, to you. You need a hug. You need a hug. You're so patronizing. It's wrong with you. And he's like, I don't want to talk about it. I'll be fine. You need to just get over and say, well, do you want me to hug you? He's like, no. She's like, well, whenever you want to just hang out. Get out of here. You got dumped. It's like she can't take that she got dumped, but I think she jumped him though. She rejected him. She rejected him. She rejected him. And she didn't want to like, she didn't want to be the bad guy, but she's not talking to her anymore. Yeah, because she doesn't, she's uncomfortable being the bad guy. God, we're talking about maids. Who cares? I was not flirted with Aurora. No one cares. That's stupid. I watched down Navi. I care about maids, but I, but I think it's that he's so hot, like he'd be at anyone. Like I was like, why are you so hung up on this very plain average girl, sweet, nice-looking, but like he can do so much better. I think just because she's right there and is just there, you know, it's like a foot away from the scrotching. Yeah. You know, that's why you have to have the rule like, don't fuck neighbors, because what else are you going to do? They're right there. You know, why not? Or like, don't fuck people at work? Why wouldn't you? You're at work all day. There's people there. Right. And you do it. But then, you know, that's what you do when you're 20. When you're a little older, you know what that causes because you've had so many slashed tires, poison drinks, you know, babies, baby children, work babies, babies in the marketplace. So little apple bees, babies, little apples, running around. Yeah, you don't need that. But meanwhile, it's funny because while that was all happening, the chef Ben and cat were having sex. The ship, Ben, talk fucking to any maniac. Like, I'll make whatever I want for dinner. A lot of cut, quite a bit. I think I might be doing Australia. Now we're doing it. We're still doing it. Don't give me a little bit of friendly advice, cat. I know. Do a full-course meal. He's just English. He's just English. He's just English. It's practically with English. It's a little difficult to switch. I like it. Now I'm doing some weird, like, strange, vaguely European accent. It's a little weird. It's a little weird to be. It's a little weird to be over here. It's a little weird to be over here. You know, I don't really appreciate how that goes. I'm a chef. I'm a chef. I was just when things are done. This is how I do it. He's obnoxious. He actually is really cocky and obnoxious. And so, but the best part is though, so they go and have sex really loudly. And everyone hears it. And then the next day when the charter comes on, the charter gets someone's like, "There's a stain on my seahorse pillow." And they show it. There was a big old sperm stain. Big old juicy, like Monica Lewinsky looks like a New York compared to the seahorse. I couldn't believe they showed that on Bravo. It was amazing. And I love it because he was the same guy who, last week, was like, "K, you're so unprofessional for making a penis pillow on the bed." That jeopardized a whole tip. Like, you spooged on the guest pillow. Yeah. Like, you're going to lecture somebody. You shot your wife. Like, I'd love to see you lecture somebody again. Yeah. You just emptied your cartridge on a seahorse pillow from fucking marijuana. It was disgusting. Oh my goodness. That was, and the best part is the other girl, the sister of the hot guy. She's like, "Can we believe this? There's like a stain right here." She's like, "Touching it." Don't touch it. Your finger's pregnant now. Yeah. I don't understand. He would do that. I mean, has that even get there? Look at this pretty pillow. What happens? Who would want a jeez on a seahorse anyway? [LAUGHTER] It's a tacky pillow. It was meant to be. They should just chuck it into the ocean if you don't want it. God, hopefully they did. It's like they were trying to wash that pillow for elbows. That would be like the next Godzilla movie is when they tossed a pillow with sperm into the ocean. The sperm intertwines with some more eel, and this crazy half-eel, quarter-band, quarter-cat monster comes out, and then just gets drunk and crashes down onto peg legs, or beavis. Like, finally, I had someone appreciate my return, and it's been crushed. By a sea monster caused by a seahorse seaman pillow. That would be-- Okay. So then-- What else happened on that? So then this charter came on board, and they were like the best charter from last season, and everything was great. This time, they brought their gay son. Yeah, right. They brought their gay son who likes to booze. Everything he likes is booze. By the way, hot, hot gay son, you thought? So cute. I did not like him. I loved him. And also, I like him because he's really rude, and so if you're ever at a restaurant and you're dating, and you have a problem with the food, you don't have to complain to the waiter. You can tell him, and he'll be like, "You're not doing your job." Mm-hmm. You want us to do what a 5% tip looks like, I'll show you right now. Mm-hmm. Because that's exactly what happened. Basically, Ben decided to do a four-course meal, and even if we can do it for-- he always is behind in this cooking. That's-- I don't know how, as a chef, you can be so far behind with your cooking. These people sat down at 9.15 pm, somewhere like that. They were not done with their four-course meal until 11.45. And these were small dishes. Yeah. Those weren't even courses. Like, one plate was a shrimp. Yeah. A four-course meal should take an hour max. Yeah. It's not a lot. You know? Like, even if you were to do like an eight-course tasting menu, that's like two hours. So it's referred to be two and a half hours, and to wait that long. Apparently, there's also issues because Kate was the only one serving. Everyone. And Kat was asleep downstairs, but I blame it all in Ben. Like, his timing was awful. And I was sitting there waiting for dinner forever. I shouldn't have had waiters to get them drunk, though. And this is-- well, this is the second time this happened, two episodes ago that happened, where everyone had to wait for the food, the food was taking forever. And they do serve the booze, and then they get more irritable because they're drinking on empty stomachs. And then that's why you have that guy go on, and he was like-- he's like, "I just want you to know. I don't know what's going on above Deckard Below Deck. I don't know what the issue is, but like, there are other people involved." And like, "You have a job to do. So you have to do the job." And then Kate was just like, "You're right." And he was like, "If you're a manager, well, it's your job to manage a boat. And if someone has something to say, then it's your job to listen to them." And she's like, "You're right. I completely agree." Yeah. Completely. And then just like, silence. Yeah. Good for her. Yeah. I like when-- I like when these shows accidentally get an intelligent person. I think that's why at least Savannah pumped so fun. You know, someone like that, they're legitimately rich and they're legitimately-- they're not just fakers. Like, everyone on these shows are such phonies. So to find people that are actually legit, it's just such a refreshing thing. And that Kate chick should be on every show. I love her. Mm-hmm. Yeah. No. I'm a big fan. And then I guess as the show wound down, they wound up going up to some beach and they ran into what's her name, the lesbian from the last season, Am-- Andrea? No. She's going to be awful. I forgot her name all of a sudden. But now she's going to come on the boat next week with the guests. Yeah. And she's going to be a guest. And she's-- I always liked her last season to be honest. Maybe I just like that you weren't in. But-- I don't understand why everybody hated her so much. She was just asking them to do their job. I mean-- I guess in a mean way. I don't know. I don't know. The manager's side, I guess. I know. I'm a bold lesbian. What else was on Bravo this week? Did you watch any singles projects? I didn't. I did. I watched-- I watched-- I was so sick. I'm not sure if it was this week's or last week's because I've watched that one online. Let's see. They all went on dates. Swoon people. No. That really annoying blonde girl went out with the artist's guy and they had some like art date. And he's like, I just wanted to say like before we even start, like it was so awesome watching how you talked about me on the show last week and how it was the best date of your life. It was so hard to watch this and they're so aware of what they're doing, you know. It's so huge, right? Like it is. It's so fourth-wally. But-- I don't know. Like it was a-- It was a fine. I think my problem with it is just-- I just generally don't like dating at all. Yeah. And like when my friends talk to me about dating and I want you to feel like you've never talked-- You never really do that much, but-- Like dating before. At least so good. Yeah. Yeah. Like talking about it is one thing. But you know those friends who-- that's all they do. It's like their whole life. That's all they ever have to talk about is like what some guy thinks of them or what some girl thinks of them or what did I do wrong like my neighbor who thank God will never listen to the show. It's so sweet. But he had this guy staying with him and it was like some out of town guess that they met on-- they've been talking online for years and then the guy finally came in town and they were staying together because the guy was on vacation. So he thought it was going to be like this romantic week with this guy and then we have all the sex. Well the guy didn't want anything sexual. He just basically wanted a place to stay. Yeah. But I couldn't tell my friend that. But he's like, I don't understand to hit like he's just looking away from me and he's not in the bed with me and he looks like he's afraid I'm going to touch him. Probably. And I said, well you know, I mean you know there's a whole book called He's Just Not That Into You and I think that if he's not into you and you can't rape him, you can't get him to-- it's been five days just back away like yeah. Don't make an ass to yourself and he's like, well can't I just like maybe do this or do this? Is it me? Is it because I'm too old? Yes. I mean it was just like days and-- well you know it's strange. I can't lie. How cute. Who cares? It's some random loser off the internet. He's cross-eyed. I was like B.O. he's like missing a tooth. Yeah. Who cares? Go out? I mean you get fucked more on Grindr you know and that's like straight from the comfort of your own phone. Like who cares? Yeah. I don't know. Read a book. I used-- when I first met in the closet I used to talk about the guys I was seeing and dating all the time. I was like I was like oh my god I'm seeing this guy. I'm like I don't know. I think he-- I like him. I think it was when he first came out. Yeah. And it's sort of like when you-- it's like being a teenager, you know? Yeah. But I think eventually it starts to-- when you become a Christian you're like Jesus everybody Jesus! Like you cannot hang around a new Christian for a least a year. Yeah. It's like you know. Yeah and I mean I think you know obviously whenever anyone meets someone that they're excited about they're gonna talk about them and like that's totally fine and that's great. But when it's all that they want to talk about it's like but do they like this? I don't know. I don't know if they like me. Every single time you meet them then it's a problem. It's kind of like being stuck in like an adolescent mindset. And that's how the singles project feels to me. It's like that friend who won't stop talking about it and they're so needy and they have nothing going on in their own lives and they have like this big gaping hole-- I didn't think that literally. But they have-- I guess it is literally they have like this big gaping hole that they need filled and the only thing that can fill it is somebody else thinking something nice about them. And it's just-- I've been there like we're all human you know but it's just such a sad way. Like my friend-- I have another friend who's kind of obsessed like that and she's like well what's you know in your experience what's better like okay Cupid or Tinder and I was like a book. Read a fucking book okay. So when you meet someone in real life you have something to talk about that's not just like other people that you saw on a fucking cell phone okay. Jesus. At the end of the day you're going to take his pants off he's going to have a wiener. It's going to go inside of you and it's going to be over all right. Just like every other time just do something else like Jesus Christ. What a hobby. Join a fucking meet up group I don't know. It's got to be something other than dick in your life you know. Well some people are lonely. Maybe you're lonely Ronnie on the inside. No I mean look I'm not I'm like the opposite of lonely I just-- I get the need for it. I think what I don't-- I get the need for companionship and I get the desire for companionship. I don't get the need for approval that's so deafening that you can't live a happy life unless some idiot you don't even know thinks you're cute like who cares you know. Well you know it's like billions of people in the world only have to find one that thinks you're hot. Well you're privileged because you know I think that speaks of your self-esteem too. I mean I think you're a pretty like self-confident person and there are people who are just not confident especially people who were gay who had to like deal with childhood taunting or not being able to fit in or not being athletically gifted or whatever not to say that you can't be athletically gifted if you're gay but there's usually a pretty big correlation on that. Well that was all of those things. I mean I have my insecurity. Yeah but it affects some people harder than others you know and like you know if you've always felt like you didn't fit in you know you it will it will impact you and and sometimes you want to be you want to feel like someone like adores you or thinks you're great or something like that. Well I want that to, I mean I want a relationship eventually, I just think it's sad where it's like every person especially if you look at something like okay keep it okay. So they've added the swipe feature like Tinder yeah okay so everyone has a swipe feature now. Right. And when you're swipe swipe swipe swipe swipe and you start realizing like you're swiping through thousands of people yeah you know so you go out with one and one's a freak does that really need to ruin your entire month like I know I hate another one yeah no I do hate people like that like I had a bad date like I don't know what's going on like this is like what's going on like can I find yeah it's like this guy lives in the fucking far out valley where it's 110 degrees right now he works at a sizzler and his ambitions are to like like he just left that section blank. What are you crying about find something better right and also keep your standards high because I feel like sometimes people they they will be like well this person okay I'll go I'll I'll date them and they go on a few dates and then they're like they try to be shitty because you didn't keep your standards high and like why does it always lose I only find losers well it's because you should have actually swiped left on that person you know instead of swiped right you know so it's it's a combination of sometimes people aren't willing to stick through it enough and sometimes people are too willing to settle yeah well for someone who hates listening to relationship talk I've just got into it a lot you got oh you got oh oh that's this is where we're coming in coming into right now yeah yeah but I don't know I thought so just gets on my nerves but then now I've watched it three times I guess mm-hmm and so I'm like oh I wonder what's gonna happen with that guy like I really want to know what's gonna happen with that poor like white bread Cosby dentist guy who wears bow ties like what's gonna happen to him for a thing well everyone's like loser but well Andrea Copeland on our Facebook page said if you watch the single product over a few weeks even though they are real people you become invested in their happiness discord and the openness of it all I'm in she has a point I can I can I'm getting there we didn't have to we wasn't required viewing this week and I still watched it okay well you know I'll watch it next week maybe yeah I mean it's just that was a feeling I got at the end I was like why am I doing this to myself like what is Tabasome first of all no one is named Tabasome that is the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard Tabasome Tabasome no that girl wants to be like a reporter on the entertainment tonight or something is Tabasome the one who's she's like the gorgeous yeah but the gorgeous one like I guess she's the oldest one she's beautiful she's like entertainment tonight looking girl and acting right and she's a cold bitch mm-hmm and she wonders why she can't find a man because you're a cold bitch that's why yeah exactly sorry I'm looking no I've been sitting don't look at the calories I don't know because I probably had about I had a lot a lot we've been quietly eating these recipes I think I've had a half a cup so what do I care yeah go look um but anyway Tabasome what was I gonna say about her she goes on this date with this cheese ball guy hmm oh yeah the German that's one cheesy guy yeah and he's like well you're beautiful you're so amazing and I just want someone to be beautiful and she's like wow you know this is the most comfortable I've ever been I can't even believe the cameras are here I can yeah he's a cheese ball it's obviously just here to be on TV yeah he was good and you're obviously only liking him because he's hot so fuck both of you yeah yeah exactly whatever whatever oh yeah Ronnie just threw an app in the napkin I gave him at the top of the podcast to fiddle with he threw it at my microphone in a very rude fashion anyway why don't we wrap this up okay bye so everyone remember come to our Facebook page it's facebook.com forward slash watch what crappins and also I'm at beside blog and all social media Ronnie is at trash talk TV or Ronnie Karam mm-hmm and just come to trash talk TV calm this is the end of big brother this week next week next week next week next week will be my last big brother in two minutes video come watch us at the site or youtube.com slash trash talk T E E B E A and then remember to go to patreon patreon.com forward slash watch what crappins and you can support us there and guess what we'll have if you if you support at was it two dollars an episode I think it's yeah next week we are going to be starting bonus episodes so we'll be having after shows where we will be talking about other stuff I'm assuming we probably talk about this oh we know we'll not talk about it we'll figure out next week's big brother and survive it's a figure out what we're going to record you know cool that's that's all right come on guys come on over and thanks for everything everybody all right bye everyone bye yeah yeah if you like listening to comedy try watching it on the internet the folks behind the sideshow network of wants to new youtube channel called wait for it it's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts Todd Glass buys a slice finger slicing driving friends with it for 10 years one of the funniest people out there and I still have a hard time with the last name Liza our very own own Benjamin that's me takes you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes and much more you don't have to wait any longer just go to youtube.com slash wait for it comedy there's no need to wait for it anymore because it's here and it's funny and I love you to the insurance company that's burned me our time together has come to an end it's not me it's you we both know 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