Is it just me, or has TV gotten really complicated? Thankfully, Fylo has changed that for me. One service, all the stuff I need. - Did you know that Fylo is the most affordable service to watch "Yellowstone" live and in season? Tune into the season premiere of season 5B on November 10th at 8/7 central on the Paramount Network, by the way. - Fylo's got current seasons of the shows I just can't miss live on networks like A&E, MTV, Discovery, and TLC. - Classics, like "The Office," "Martin" and "Friends," that I never get sick of, and all the incredible originals on AMC+ from "Mad Men," "Hello" to "Orphan Black." - And don't forget their library of more than 75,000 movies and shows, all of which I can save and rewatch anytime for a whole year. - Never miss a minute of shows like "The Golden Girls," you know I'm always watching "The Golden Girls," and Fylo has it. - Best of all, with Fylo, you get all of this for just $28 a month. - No contract, no hassles. - Just one subscription and a world of entertainment. So go to Fylo.tv and check it out for a free seven-day trial. - That's P-H-I-L-O.TV to start watching. - Unlock your imagination with Audible when you listen to audio content in your mind as free to paint the scenes and feel the emotions of a great story. Plus, a great narrator can really take things to the next level. There's more to imagine when you listen. - Audible's extensive catalog is sure to have titles you'll enjoy, immerse yourself in captivating tales, learn from world-renowned experts, and discover new perspectives, all while multitasking or relaxing. Right now, I'm listening to our friend Elena Urkhart's "The Butcher Game." It's a sequel, it's fantastic, it's a serial killer cat mouse. I absolutely love her, I love what she's done, and it's really cool and very beautifully told on the Audible version. - And as an Audible member, you choose one title a month to keep from their entire catalog. - New members can try Audible free for 30 days. Visit audible.com/crapins or text-crapins to 500-500. That's audible.com/crapins or text-crapins to 500-500. - Put your website to work while you play. A website works 24/7, so no matter where you are or what you're doing, people can still find you online. Start building your website today at GoDaddy. It starts with a .com domain. And to promo code 199WC at checkout to get your .com for just $1.99. It used to be $299. Now we're down to $1.99. Some limitations apply. See website for details. The code again is 199Wc. The 199 stands for $1.99. And the W.C. stands for Watch For Crapins. See how that makes sense? Use it and have fun. Watch For Crapins. Watch For Crapins. Who cares? What happens when there's so much that crapins? Crapins. Crapins. Crapins. Crapins. Crapins. Crapins. Crapins. Crapins. Crapins. Crapins. Watch For Crapins. Who cares? What happens when there's so much that crapins? Hey everyone. Welcome to Watch What Crapins. I'm Ben Mantleker from bsideblog.com and joining me, as always, is the wonderful and plucky and always rosy. Ronnie Karam, hi Ronnie. Hi name. Ronnie is at trashtalktv.com. And on Twitter and on Instagram and on Vine and whatever, he's just look up to his search for Ronnie Karam or Trash Talk TV or Trash Tweet TV. It'll be one of those or just go to his website where he has really funny coverage of TV shows including Big Brother. And there'll be links to all his social media from there. You can find me at bsideblog on all platforms. And more importantly, come like this podcast, Facebook page, facebook.com/watchcrapins. Because it's super fun and people post funny things and we have pictures and videos and we take silly screen grabs from the show and it's just what made your life so much better in so many different ways that I almost can't even explain it. Lives are changed. It takes a village to understand just how much the show can change your life. If I village were still around, I'd be telling you guys to join our eye village but we don't have that. It takes an eye village. It takes an eye village. There's a truck going by outside. Again, continuing to be living in a construction zone. So anyway, why don't we get right to our shows. We had a bunch of shows this week. Ronnie, where do you want to begin? You know, I'm just happy to be here. Okay. We can just talk about life. Okay. I'm tired. I'm hungry. I'm fat. We sound like a 90s song. What was that song that's like? I'm tired. I'm hungry. I did it. Everything's fun. Remember that song? Girl, it was like mother, mother. Stop writing to me. Everything's fine. I'm hungry. I'm tired. I'm poor. Everything's fun. Dad, help me. That's one person I would really like to see have a song, Ashley. Catches on the patio. Jats the next county over. I'm a private plane from me. My friends are being mean to me. Help me. Help me. That is from Princess Long Island for those confused little rascals out there. Yeah. What's with Crapin's world? Just because a show dies doesn't mean it's dead with us. It lives on for many years afterwards. Yeah. Just ask that guy, girls. Guy, girls. So, okay. So, let's talk about, I'm all we talk about. Can we talk about Game of Crowns? Why don't we start with that? Okay. Well, no one's watching that show. Yeah. You know, I looked at the ratings. It's only pulling in like half a million and it's it's ridiculous. Why aren't people watching the show? It is so, so, so funny. You guys, that show is so funny. I'm horrified by it. I think those are some of the worst people on TV. Yeah. God. They're really awful women. Yeah. But it's still fun. Yeah. It's really fun. I just let me get my notes. All right. Get to your notes. Look at all these notes I took. Can you hear? I can hear the ruffling. I did take some notes this week. Let me see. Please tell me it took some Game of Crowns. Okay. Here's what I wrote in my notes. Okay. Fashion show. Bella is a top high fashion New York model Lin Pat. Oh, that's an old. That's last week. Yeah. Okay. Real Housewives New Jersey. Can't afford a car. That must be New Jersey. Yeah. Because you know, they don't. This is like CSI. CSI. Oh, I guess I didn't write any notes on Game of Crown. All right. Think I was probably just too enthralled to write. Well, okay. So if I remember correctly, the show more or less like in the beginning, let's see, Lynn and Vanessa had a confrontation because stop calling her Vanessa. Her name is Vanessa. Sorry. Sorry. Vanessa. Yeah. They had a confrontation, a chili confrontation because if I remember Oh, so the issue now is that when Leha and Lynn met and Leha asked what basically like, why are you making up these lies about me? Lynn's like, well, just so you know, the other girls calls you a 40, 40 footer and manish and a transvestite. So then Lynn was really upset. I'm sorry. The NASA was really upset at Lynn for saying these things. So then me, like, like they're like to like an FBI agent and an informant on a park bench by the Oak by the water. It was like the worst, like John Clancy clearance to film anywhere. Everybody already knows they're horrible. They're like, can we just go to the Denny's? They're like, no, Denny's just too classy for your conversation. Go to the beach. Yeah. So there are some like some random corner of Mystic, Connecticut. And they're driving this fight. And you know, Vanessa's like, Lynn, I just want to know why is it that whenever there's an issue, you're always the first one to throw me under the bus, basically stuff like that. And Lynn somehow starts to act like the victim. And I think that Vanessa was like, you always do this. You always act like the victim, Lynn. And Lynn says, I don't always do this, but you guys always come after me. And I'm the one who's really hurt in this situation, which cracked me up because yeah, Lynn, Lynn is a huge victim. And she's so wrong. Like, you know, you're on TV saying all that stuff. Why don't you just admit to it and be done with it? Yeah. Oh, you know what? Actually, I'm sorry. The episode really started at the end of this, like pageant brawl, not really brawl, but it was a pageant situation where Vanessa was yelling at the gay stylists for giving that that paisley jumpsuit to her and Suzanne. Oh, yeah, she was like, pageant, real pageant girls will be coming back to you because you have betrayed the first rule of pageantry. And that is giving the same dress to two people. And then what's her stupid face? What's the dumb one's name? A lens of Lori, which one? The one with the daughter? The one with Suzanne, Suzanne, the one you do. He's like, Oh, I wasn't in the accident. I told you it was an honest accident. I'm like, it wasn't an accident. You called her and told her you were going to be wearing the exact same dress you stupid. Like these women don't even know how to lie. That's what makes me crazy. I will say this, though. I mean, I don't think it was an incident worth yelling about or an incident worth even having drama about. But as a stylist, that guy did fuck up, like for sure. He did. But I mean, look, he's got to offload that hideous crap somewhere. Yeah. And the only people who are going to wear it are those morons. So who can blame him? You know, the guys got a business. Those bitches don't know what it's like to work for a living. I'm siding with the working queen. Yeah. Yeah. And you know, you know, his budget, he's only going to like teach him. He's like a TJ Maxx and he's still with those fashions. Yeah, he totally is. He's like, I really had my bets down on the Mrs. Roper collection and it didn't work out for me. And I really appreciate the support just getting this out of my warehouse. I have a whole that marshals. So can we speed this along? So do you know who we never talk about on this show? But who is like the most amazing one? Who is the younger one? Like, like, I don't know, she's lazy. I don't know if one of her lives is really heavy. Like, I don't know what she looks like. Maybe she got punched, like maybe like a side of her face got run over like a janky Lisa Kudrow or something like that. Yes. She's like Lisa Kudrow on sleeping pills or something. But I really like her. I love her spunk and her attitude. And I love that she's always ready to kick someone's ass. And she's like, well, I don't care what they think about me. So lady, who cares? They're telling me I've got to be more jiggly. I ain't going to be more jiggly. They're Botoxing themselves to try and look like me. Yeah, that's why. And she's like lifting weights and throwing weights across like, damn, and she's got to keep husband too. Oh, yeah, her husband's hot. Yeah. Well, she's kind of funny. Cause I'm like, she really, there's no reason for her to be on this show. Maybe because they wanted a young one, but she just sort of stands there. I mean, she got into it a little bit because later on she got into it with Vanessa. But, but basically the thrust of this episode was that Shelly is that her name Shelly, the Mrs. America, the one who's like sort of waspy. She, she invited everyone to her Newport, Rhode Island house for the weekend to sort of calm, calm things down, whatever. And by the way, I have to say, one of our listeners who on Twitter goes by X, the Crusher X. He, he, I was just like the butcher's name to be following us. Yeah. Like if I looked under who the Crusher X is following, I would not expect it to be a real housewives show. Yeah. Hey, you go, you break those stereotypes X, Crusher. Yeah. Yeah. X, X, X, the Crusher X. You're breaking that glass ceiling, boo. He, he had, he tweeted this regarding Shelly, Shelly taking them to their like, to her like Newport home. She goes, he goes, it looks like these girls from Game of Crowns are spending the weekend at an assisted living facility. I mean, I think in the history of like Bravo like weekends away, this was probably the cheapest one we've ever seen. It was like it, it was like in a, not even, maybe a townhouse, just like a two family home basically. We're truly from furniture from my grandma, my, my dearly departed grandma Sally's assisted living facility. You know, like floral prints and like, I mean, extra Crusher X, you really did crush that observation. Yeah, that's, that's a good call X. Yeah. Um, and there were, so, so they go to Shelly's place and they decide to go out onto like a sailboat. They, they went on like looking old pirate ship or something in Newport Bay. And while they're all there trying to be friends, um, Leha gets a call from Nick saying that Lynn Diamante had hired a private investigator to look into, um, to look into Nick's past, which on the one hand, I think it's good because someone has to look into Nick's murderous past because he clearly was like killed like 10 people probably with his rage. But, um, on the other hand, it's also really fucked up because it's realistically, she shouldn't have hired him. I mean, is that against the law to hire a PI to follow somebody? No, I mean, maybe I would do it. I feel like it's against pageant law. Same with jumpsuits. Maybe that's what she was trying to get to the bottom of. Like maybe he's the one supplying these jumpsuits. I, yeah, he's, uh, he's got some boxes falling off the back of the truck of like terrible patterns. Yeah. He was infesting the city with them. Lynn's hired a Paisley PI. I, that Lynn is just one crazy bit. She's like, I don't even know why she would do that. What does she think she's going to find? I mean, it's either going to be like, uh, you know, I don't even want to make fun of him because I feel like he'll find us on Facebook and murder us and realize, I know, I know exactly, which would of course prove our point. Yeah, but who cares? They're like, Oh, before he died, Ronnie made a good point about somebody on a show that was canceled already. Yeah, who cares? Okay. Well, he may not be murderous, but he definitely has a murderous rage. That's for sure. Yeah. He would, he would order somebody to kill us. Yeah. Or he would just arrest us. He would trump up charge. He'd planted. I bet he would plant, uh, evidence and then send us a jail. Oh gosh. That like empty boxes of terrible stuff. This is all a lot. This is all lifeless right now. We can get sued. Sorry, Nick. No, I'm trying to be nice. I'm, I'm the one being bad. Well, but I will say that I am going to defend Nick, though, because as crazy as he was that episode where he was screaming at the women, the one thing he did not do was he did not say to Lynn Diamante, Hey, I'm going to kill you. And that's what this is all based off of. Um, yes, and they never got to that. Of course. They never got to the Lynn Lynn never Lynn just avoids everything. She never mentioned, you know, yes, that guy did say he was going to kill me. Like this week, she wouldn't even say that. And what was the other thing? Well, the thing is she wouldn't, she wouldn't cop to anything this week. She's just like, but I have a party. Well, the thing is also that I think when Vanessa tried to try to approach this topic at Mystic by the water, she, uh, Lynn suddenly like stands up because no, like my lawyers are involved. It was like so random. I mean, this is honestly the funniest show ever. We're not doing it justice. At least I'm not. Um, well, it's, I didn't take any notes on it because I just mostly sit there slack job. Well, so her husband, her abusive husband to call her allegedly possibly may be rage addicted abusive husband called and it's like, yeah, someone, yeah, yeah, she's got a private dick and get off that boat. And she's like, what am I supposed to jump off the boat right now? He's like, I'll jump off the boat or I'll beat you. And she's like, I don't want to jump. I know like why does she want to jump? And then nobody knows what's going on. The best part is that during all this, Lynn has decided to make the announcement. She's like, well, I just want everyone to know that, um, Susanna and I, we apply to the delegation of like Miss America, United States. And we finally heard back and I'm Miss, I'm Mrs. Massachusetts, United States and Susanna is Mrs. United States. And what does that mean? It's, it's like, it's just like she basically wrote in for her title. And but like no one was like responding because Leah just got this phone call. And Lynn's like, I can't even believe that these girls can't be happy for me about winning this award. But did you win it? She wrote in for so she could be a quote unquote delegate. So you didn't win anything. You just wrote a letter and they sent you something in the mail. Like I got a party. Let's have a party. It was honestly a contest you just write in for that. And they're like, Oh, you would. Hey, Ronnie, congratulations on that Emmy for a show you never wrote. Thanks for writing us a letter to the writer's guild. We accepted it. Well, just that's what makes this so funny is that little Lynn is so self important. I mean, they all are, but Lynn is probably the most self important, because then when they get back on dry land, they start talking about like her upcoming wedding vow renewals and how there's going to be a butterfly release. And she's like, yeah, the butterfly release is just, it's really important, you know, because it's just like butterflies been a lot to my dad. And they're so good for the environment too. And it's just, they're really beautiful. So it's like, it really means a lot. Yeah. But what was her thinking about the butterfly release? There was something else wasn't there. She said that it was good for the environment and that her dad liked butterflies for the environment. And also I'm watching, I just happened to watch an episode of the bridge that one of the most depressing shows on TV, by the way, for any of you who watch scripted things, it's so sad. But they found some dead kid in a butterfly, in a butterfly shack, like, Oh, this is where they grew the butterflies. And then I watched Game of Thrones and she's like, we're going to release the butterflies. And I'm like, kill it. She said, I think she said, like, that she said, it's a very big deal toss diverse and volunteer lives and they're great for the environment. Whatever, bitch, you're like, you're like a little hairy ass little caterpillar that got wrapped up and then got squashed before it could come out. I hope you noticed by the way, by the way, I hope you noticed that her nip was like blurred out in her interviews because it started to sneak out of her jacket. Did you see that? God, those boobs are ridiculous. And she wears jackets that cover the nipples and then leave it open at the stomach again. Oh, it's like, yeah, it's like a beef jerky with marbles in the package. Yeah. So then, so Vanessa and Lynn are trying to hash out their issues. And that's when Lorien gets involved. Lorien's like, let her talk. And Vanessa's like, Vanessa is like, says like, you be quiet. And then Lorien's like, don't talk to me that way. And Vanessa's like, I just did. I just did. I just did. That's like her favorite line. You know, like, yeah, like, hey, you can't order a hamburger. I just did. You can't put on socks. I just did. Oh, I love that. Vanessa, I mean, yeah, Vanessa fights with everything without mom voice. Here's how I feel about it. I don't like the way did you. And her fingers like always like straight up like she's making some kind of point. I'm like, bitch, you are not making a point. You were still talking about a jumpsuit. I wish, actually, I wish Vanessa weren't from the pageant world because when she's not being pageanty and she's just being like shady and like cracking jokes, she's like really funny. Like she, she cracks and like really mean jokes with the other women's sake. And it's like, they're funny. But then she gets into her pageant thing and then she gets like all high and mighty and then she becomes just as awful as the rest of them. Well, she's probably coming on the show. So maybe we'll just get her to be a bitch about everybody else on the show. We can send her a list of steps. She has to watch and just keep bro. I hope so. I really, really hope so. That would be awesome. So anyway, so Shelly gave Vanessa and Lynn like tons of tequila and they got drunk and they actually made amends, which is by the way, the first time that's ever happened on Bravo. Normally you give them booze and they start to fight. So that was nice. But then what happened, then the big thing was that the next day there's just been this ongoing scheduling issue between Vanessa and Lynn because Vanessa has a breast cancer walk on a certain day and Lynn scheduled her wedding vow renewals on the same day. And Lynn and Vanessa asked Shelly to be part of it. And then Lynn asked Shelly to read a poem at the wedding. So only because she knows that means that she won't be able to do both things. And so I have to choose friends. Exactly. And then Lynn has been layering in this wedding vowel thing, vowel thing. Okay, Lynn, in your stupid wedding vows. Okay, listen to what Lynn says. She says, well, you know, me and my husband never really got a good wedding. We just kind of had a shotgun wedding. And then every year we go back to Las Vegas for our anniversary and we have another wedding just to kind of joke about it. The Elvis chapel to get another wedding. And this year we're going to do it right and have a real wedding. No, no, no. It's even worse than that. She goes, you know, like three weeks before my wedding, my father died. So basically every wedding has been a funeral. And every year when we do the vows, I'm always trying to get away from it, which by the way, if you're trying to get away from it, don't have a wedding vow renewal every year. But this year, I feel like I'm going to really embrace it and let go of a lot of it. So it's really important that Shelly comes. It's like the most. And it's truly bullshit. Like it's, it's no disrespect to her dead father. But it's like, she's a creator. How much respect does that deserve? By the way, Ronnie, how proud were you when she said that she wanted her vows to be a nod to her Lebanese heritage? Oh, God, I was like, well, we're not immune. I actually said that aloud in my watch, like, well, where they were assholes too. It's like every no race is safe on Bravo, really. Nope. So anyway, so it turns out that there are the though that Vanessa's walk is going to conflict with the wedding surprise surprise. And so she has since Shelly had already said she'd be part of Vanessa's walk. She she tells Lynn, she's like, listen, I'm really, really, really sorry. But unfortunately, I'm not able to read the poem. And then Lynn starts to freak out. She's like, but the butterflies, we've already, we've already ordered that. We've got the cases, the butterflies, because you'll be the way we've now we have to call, we have to call like the mayor. We have to send notices out. Like, we have to change everything. We have to tell the butterfly rank. The local dinner theater was going to do a number from the music man. I have to call the barber. He was making little, little wigs that looked like your hair to put on all the butterflies. Dillard's was donating us wooden hangers to take care of all the dresses we're renting, you know, we can have a subway. I have to go to subway because they were going to make a sub that was going to be called the Shelly. And when you ate it, butterflies would come out. All right, scream wedding cake, my brass skin Rob, I'm just gonna have for you. I have to return 10 lean cuisine boxes now because I had set them aside for a special meal for you and your family. What a dumb hole. And then, yeah, so whatever. So then they got in another fight and it ended pretty much with Linda's fake crying, right? No, I think that. Oh, yeah, Lynn. Yeah, Lynn start fake crying then her friends consoled her as if like her dad had died all over again just that afternoon. You know, Lynn's probably that person when her dad died, like took all the attention. Yeah, she was probably at the funeral, like, they were probably trying to give a speech. They'll be like, Oh, Lou. Yeah, I was great at cards. Every week, Lou would come and he'd win. And she'd be like, I love cards. I do the type that will then hold on to that being like, to this day, I can never walk by a card shop without thinking of my dad. And that goes for both greeting cards and playing cards and the cardinals. Baseball and other sports, little league. If there's a little league team called Cardinals, I can't watch it. God, I wish they would stop printing voting certificates on card stock because every time I go to vote, I just don't cry. I can't even ask for directions because people always give me directions using cardinal directions. At the end of a meal, I can't even check off whether I enjoyed the meal or not because the questionnaires are printed on card stock. I once had to cancel an entire trip because it was going to Cardiff and I couldn't go. I don't know. That was like, I can't think of any other card things card cardosa. I think that's Mr. Cardosa was a teacher in mine in high school, I think. Like, I can't go to Ben's high school because there's someone there named Mr. Cardosa. That's so, so stupid. All right, so are they going to let the rest of it air? How many? So we're halfway through. We just, they just had episode five and they've got 10 episodes, I know, but I don't know if they're even going to let that I think they will. I'm really hoping I'm actually like imploring people to tune in. If you're listening to this podcast and you are not watching Game of Crowns, watch it. And if you watch it and you think it's boring, I am going to, I'm going to play this card at no offense, Lynn. I'm going to play this card and say, you're just not getting it. Give it another shot because you're just not getting it. You are not bright enough. Good. It just, it's, you're not getting it. The point is this, look at it as like a real life Christopher guest movie. It is just the way these people are so self-righteous about such a marginal thing in the world and how caddy they are and the vicious rumors they make about each other. I mean, it's just every episode leaves me cracking and everyone I show the show to dies laughing. So while we're talking about shows that we watch but no one else watches, let's talk about shows that everyone else watches that we don't watch. Yeah. This week on our page, people are going crazy and apparently really liking this Jersey bell show. Did you watch it? No. I was like, oh, it's another one of these bravo shows that follows a girl out, you know, whatever. But yeah, I saw that too. Everyone said, oh, it's really good. So maybe I'll tune in next week. Yeah, I guess we're going to have to because you guys like it. And we listen. All right. We listen. You heard my angel. My angel joke lately. No. All right. We listen. And so we'll watch that. And also people are really loving the real housewives of a male bow on. Oh, yeah. I've watched the first episode today, which by the way, coincidentally, my favorite part was the preview for the season when one of them is like, you know what? Yeah, you had deck of cards. You get crumbled down because I'm doing an Irish accent. I don't know why, but I'm going to do it because my ostrich, I meant to go Australian. I came out Irish. Deck of cards. I guess I'll watch that. But only on the condition that there are no more housewives shows coming on right now. I mean, is it just going to be Orange County or and Jersey or is there a third? Because if there's a third, I can't. That's it. But we have below deck coming up next week. I don't know if I'm going to fit in. Honestly, I don't know. Unless maybe we'll start up like us. Well, you know, we can just do a one off or something. Yeah, you know what? If people want to, we have to work in a come up with a donation scheme. If people want to donate to us, we'll do a second episode with Jersey Bell and and because don't forget that last time we had below deck, we still had Matt on the pod cast. And you guys would just talk about that. I didn't watch that show. Yeah, um, we'll we'll see what we have to do because there are too many shows for us to do really in one episode now. And and also these housewives shows are really just the same thing. Why didn't you come to my party? Oh, your party. Oh, I heard your party suck. Oh, but my party is so fine. Who told you it sucked? Everyone said it sucked. No one said it sucked. My party was awesome. I have a turtle farmer. Oh, your party is your party. I'm going to have a party that show everybody how much your party sucked. No, it's going to go to your party. No, it's going to go to your party. Yeah, yeah. Every fucking show. Exactly. And we have to, I mean, this is like hours that we have to watch and it's like, you know, I know everyone else watches hours of a two, but you know, it's like, it's really hard. I love this stuff, but it's hard. That's why I'm like, we need to set up a donation. Well, it's getting harder lately because now they don't use, they used to have two housewives show on a time and then other shows. But now it's like three housewives shows at a time. It's been three at a time now for a long time, right? Or is that in my head? And then now they've also got a wedding spinoff going at the same time. It's all the house. So it's like housewives plus another housewives spinoff. And I don't know, I need some cooking or something mixed in with all of this. Well, Top Chef duels is coming up, but that has no appeal to me, you know, because I think the whole like cooking dual genre is played out. Like we have chopped, we have iron chef. Yeah, too late, too late magical elves. We have sap, kitchen sabotage, sabotage, whatever. So so stupid. It is stupid. We have all those gonna cook with a fishing hook. I do not want to eat that. And that's why the shows, the judges on those shows look so miserable. Like they're eating monkey asshole and like mayonnaise. That's gross. Who wants to eat that? Like your ingredients today, our cat poop, discarded skin from a circumcised baby and mustard. Yeah, I really love what you did with that circumcision skin. Delicious, crispy, salty. Oh, Scott's not watching that. Yeah, I don't understand what the appeal of Top Chef duels is. I don't know why we're expected to tune in like why we're supposed to care. Oh, look, there's Tiffany from season one. She's back for the like the fifth time to cook against like, you know, Marcell or sell. Oh, wow, it's Marcell. And then someone's going to taste it and then someone's going to win and we don't care. You know, I like my cooking shows to be serialized or to be or to be like chopped. And I'd like Bravo contestants to get jobs. How about that? How about everybody who goes on Top Chef leaves Top Chef and instead of getting an agent, you get a fucking job. All right, because I'm sick of seeing you on like spaghettio commercials or whatever the shit you guys are doing. Or when they're like, Oh, look, it's me from season two to do some web thing on Bravo. No, I'm not watching your stupid web thing on Bravo. You made like a Cheeto pie in season two. I'm not watching you get a job. I'm not going to come down on the the Bravo chefs from Top Chef, because as opposed to all the other Bravo reality stars, there's there are people who actually have skills and are doing something with their lives. And who could also potentially feed me. So those aren't generally the ones who are coming back. The ones who are coming back are like Marcell. Yeah, but Marcell still works too. He works. He's like in kitchens. He's legit. Anyway, let's talk about Real House House in New Jersey. Speaking of. Speaking of agreeing to disagree. Speaking of gym and business practices. So last week, we were taking Jim's side. This is Amber's husband, Jim. Oh, my how things change. Yeah, because we because he said like he doesn't want associate with Joe Judy J because he was in mortgages. And that's not someone you want to, you know, associate with, which by the way, I still think is legit. But he made himself sound like he was Mr. Upstanding Citizen. But the truth is he too has apparently been in all sorts of nefarious. Okay, well, the good stuff about this. And thank you for everybody for posting this to our Facebook page because that is how I know about all of this. It's all that's why if you are not a fan of the Facebook page, you should be one and he can be in the loop. Yeah, because I honestly hadn't heard all this. But okay, so he is a rat. First of all, he ratted out a company he was working for for this huge scheme that they had pulled off. And he gets everybody arrested. And then they realized he was the one who made the whole scheme up in the first place. So when he felt like they were going to get caught on his own criminal plan, allegedly, he turned on everybody else and got them thrown in jail. So that's the kind of classy bitch this guy is. He's not only a criminal, he gets other people involved and then rats them out. So he doesn't have to go to prison for his own crime. That's like, that's the lowest, that's pretty much the lowest of the low. I don't know. I mean, they're all low because the thing is, this is it goes back to survivor season one, but the rats and snakes, you know, that's what we're dealing with. Okay, so Jim is a rat. We're going to quote Sue, please quote Sue. Well, it's, it's honestly one of the greatest speeches in the history. You're a rat and you're a snake. And a snake on a rat, a different. Because rats, what was her thing? I love it. It was like if I saw you on the side of the road asking for a drink of glass of water for your dying breath, I wouldn't give it to you. You know, something nice. Can Sue the truck driver just be on every housewives show? That's what every show needs. She should be. Well, so anyway, the point is this. So Jim is a rat. Yes, he's and he's a smarmy. He's a smarmy little rat. Okay, for sure. But then you got Joe and Joe, but especially Joe, who is like a thug gorilla, like doofus asshole, you know, who is now benefiting from he's getting this edit of this, like, saintly edit when he's defrauded people. It's like, I'm so sick of, of these people who were like, like, how could, how could Jim talk about, how could Jim talk about Joe? Like, how could he kick a man when he's down? Kick a man when he's down? Like, no, he is not down because the system worked against him. He is down because he tried to work the system and he put many, many, many other people down. Other people are down because of him. He is not down. I'm sorry. Well, you know, look, there's Jersey Code, right? And, you know, you have to think about it from where they're coming from. Really, anybody on this show, and I'm not saying anybody in Jersey, because I don't know, everything I know from Jersey is like, when I lived in New York, they had my Kia there. So I went there for that. There's an airport I went to. It smelled kind of funny. There's a Roy Rogers on the turnpike. And that's pretty, yeah, that's pretty much all I know, except for this show. But according to this show, basically, anybody could be going to prison at any given moment. Nobody's honest. Nobody has a real fucking business. And and they all like to wear a turtleneck. You know, part of living the dream is not getting caught. And so when you do get caught, you know, everybody gives you respect because it could have been them, you know, and I think that they're smart enough to say, at least it was enough this time. Let's all pretend to feel bad for Joe and take his family to lasagna. So when my husband goes to prison, maybe I'll get some chicken pot pie. You know, Ronnie, you're a very smart man. No, I'm saying that is such that that really is exactly what it is. But you know, I guess what, I'm not in Jersey. So we have to play it by like pansy California, like morals. Okay. And the pansy California morals say you're an asshole. Joe, you guys, you, you gained the system, you defrauded people, you sold millions of dollars. And I'm not going to feel bad about you because you're going to jail and leaving your for four days alone. Yeah, I'm actually excited that Joe might be going to jail because the prison system in America works really hard to add education into it. And I really hope that Joe just like goes to an English class. Yeah. And like maybe it reads to kill a mockingbird or some shit. I don't know. But learns learns the language guys. I heard you're in a commodity road. This is a chance to start over in America. All right. If your life sucks, go murder somebody and get an education in jail, guys. Yeah, you're welcome. The more you know, exactly. Maybe that's where Jim got his law degree. And you know, he needs to go to jail and he needs to go to like kitty jail is Melania because she is so vile. She's the best. She's like, she's like, the best slash vile, you know what I'm saying? Like Beth watch vials. And she's like, shove it back up your car. That whole dark place. I started life in you dumb bitch. Melania. Whoa. I know it's like marinara sauce is the new black. But you know, uh, actually, it's actually really not Melania's fault. Teresa, I mean, you see the way she talks and Teresa's like, Melania, I can't hear you. You're so loud, Melania. You're so loud. I mean, if Melania spoke like that to my dad, oh my goodness, you have a whole family. Could you imagine when the cameras are there? I know, you know when the cameras are there, Teresa's like, like I'm cooking the kids something. But when the cameras are there, she's like, Melania kids, tell what you're doing that. You know, they just yell everybody yell throughout that whole house for that one silo one, the one the one that the pretty one who's like the pretty one who wears sports gear all the time. Yeah, the pretty one who's like planning an escape to baseball camp the second she can get out of the house. Yeah, she's like, I'm saving my allowance. You mother fuckers. I'm getting out of here. Yeah, exactly. Allega's my own. So anyway, let's get to the meat meat of the episode, which is that, um, you know, Amber had said last week, had told Melissa that she'd heard that Teresa, I think it was Teresa, I can't give him straight. One of the twins had broken up a family, you know. And then of course, Melissa goes and as we said last week, Melissa goes and tells the twins that that Amber says this. And Melissa, of course, this is classic Melissa playing this innocent and being like, well, they're just going to hash it out. I thought they would just have a conversation. Fast forward to the first responder party that was being held at the twins house. Where everyone comes dressed as a first responder party, especially when you live in that area of the country generally means 9/11, right? I mean, look, I know other fires and other things, but the only thing I think about when I hear a first responder is 9/11. I think I'm with Rosie. I think snipers. I think, hey, you need me there. You need me there because you know what? Like, if the terrorist comes out, I'm there to punch him in the face. I'm like, you know, that's not what a sniper does. A sniper actually shoots from afar. But that's good, Rosie. I wrote that too. I wrote Rosie doesn't know what a sniper is. Like, yeah, yeah, I'm a first responder. I'll be on top of a building. And then if terrorists is there, I'll be like, boom. Yeah, that's not a, that's not what a sniper is. No, you're going to like be swatting the air and he'll be 500 feet away from you. And you'll realize that you had one eye close and your death perception is all wrong. Rosie will be like, hey, you got a sister? Because I like them with the face covered. Send a Rover. So, um, so anyway, so, you know, all the twins are all mad. They're all, I'm going to see if I can do the twin voice because I was like doing it before. But now, you know, whenever the podcast comes out, my accents always come off all strange. They're like, I can't believe that she would say this. Amber would say those things about me. She's not even sari about it. Oh, my God, that twin. I had to rewind it five times. I don't know why suddenly I found her for it's so funny, but it's so funny because it's so, so Jersey-ish. And I like that she's like, all right, here's the plan. All right. I'm going to go to that girl and I'm going to make her apologize for everything she said about me. And in front of everyone. I want everyone to hear it. Yeah. And then Amber walks and she's like, hello. Hello. How are you? Good party. Good first response or party. And then the other one's like, I have, I have things. I have too many things to say to you right now. I can't, I can't talk about it right now. I love that she doesn't even tell her. She's like, Oh, look at you. I don't have anything to say. Yeah. Yeah. You have to say something to my sister. Maybe you should clear it up with my sister. And then it's both of those voices. Yeah. You have to say a thing. And then Amber's like, you too. Let's go. And then they immediately start hair pulling and punching. Oh, geez. And then meanwhile, Melissa's like, I thought I'd just be a conversation with those women. Like, that's what I said at the beginning of the season. All these new women are like Jerry Springer women who like they're bad girls. You know, on the bad girls club, they're like, get some poor ass ghetto bitches on here. And basically, if they want to stay the show, they dike out on each other and then beat each other up like they're in prison. And then that's all they do. They're like, who brought the toast? Ah, fuck you. And it'd be more exciting than real. So stupid, more exciting than anything that happened last season, though. That's for sure. I guess. I think the best part was before any of this even happened. And one of the twins was telling all the guests about Amber. She's like, this is what I'm going to do today. And I'm going to get Amber. She's going to apologize publicly. Rose. He's like, all right. Here's what you need to do. All right. You need to tell her when she comes in, like, look, you know, we've got a problem. Sorry. And then, you know, when she says something back to you, then you got to say, yeah, but this is what I'm saying. You know what I'm saying? Like, thanks, Rosie. Yeah. Thanks for all of that. Life wisdom you're bringing to the park. Why don't you go back to your mom's basement and finish that fucking blanket? It's been knitting, right? Get the fuck out of here. Yeah, I'm not sure if someone has been embroiled in, like, a three-year-long family feud is entitled to talk about, like, conflict resolution. And then you talk to hers, and then hers is going to talk to you. Thanks. This is the sniper way. It's the sniper way. So then I love how after the fight, when Amber gets all the hair pulled out of her head, which is classic Danielle's job, then when they're like, Amber starts getting really nasty. She's like, she's like, that's why he won't marry you. That's why he won't marry you. Okay? That's why, because you're a monster. But then the guys get into it, because then Jim starts calling out Teresa's boyfriend for putting him in the spot, which he's sort of right to do that for. And then, it's a whole thing. And next thing you know, he's going up to Joe Gorga, which is, I can't believe he did this. And he was like, he's like, I work with the same DA that's prosecuting your brother-in-law, you dumb fuck. Oh my god. I was like, this guy's even true. You know that, right? Yeah, it's not true. The DA has made a public statement that they don't know who this fucker is, except that he's a criminal. Yeah. My notes on this show, I wrote so much, which means I was really actually enjoying it. But, well, Dina, they tried to set Dina up with a guy who is, I don't know, he was relatively handsome. Hands him compared to the other MOOCs there. But, considering he's like a spray tan and waxed or threaded eyebrows, who does that? Straight guys, stop it. Stop doing this. Definitely, there's definitely Jersey Metro, you know. Teresa's temper don't react. Family photos. I've written three unpublished books. Oh, yeah. Nothing about the cats. How I feel about Bobby. Bobby at Dunkin Donut Scrubs. Not subtle. Rosie Sniper first responder crack his neck. Teresa first response. Joseph Detective, party people. Dina's flirt. Teresa didn't know what a SWAT team was. She thought it was a SWAT team. She's so stupid. Amber's being played by Maya Rudolph. Doesn't she look just like a Maya Rudolph character? I want to know how many jars of blush she goes through in an afternoon. I mean, the amount of shit on her cheeks is out of control. Yeah, I don't know if she's, I don't know. She looks like she's been punched on both sides of the face. I thought it was cute when their kid was directing the little commercial though. I like that. This episode is sponsored by DoorDash. We're back to tell you more about the latest Dash Pass annual plan benefit. Stream max with ads included at no extra cost. You know what's a great night for us? Ordering DoorDash and cuddling up to watch the max original hacks. Which one, best comedy, deservedly so? And we'd love tuning in to see not only icon Gene Smart but the wonderful and incomparable Rose Abdu who also is a huge Bravo fan. Listen, I'm always in the mood for hacks but you never know what kind of food I'm in the mood for. Sometimes it's pizza. Sometimes it's a salad and I can get both with DoorDash. How about some ice cream? That's what I like to eat with my hacks. 100% I will double Dash. I will get a salad and then double Dash some ice cream. Why not? Sign up for a Dash Pass annual plan and get max included at no extra cost. It's your door to more. Max is now included with your Dash Pass annual plan. Stream max with ads up to $120 value included at no extra cost. Terms apply see doorDash.com/maxfor details. With big wireless providers, what you see is never what you get. Somewhere between the store and your first month's bill, the price you thought you were paying magically skyrockets. With Mint Mobile, you'll never have to worry about gotchas ever again. When Mint Mobile says $15 a month when you purchase a three month plan, they mean it. Oh my goodness, I cannot tell you how many times with other mobile providers. I thought I was going to be paying one thing per month and then surprise, I'm paying much more and I just love that Mint Mobile is straight up. All plans come with high speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. Use your own phone with any Mint Mobile plan and bring your phone number along with all your existing contacts. To get this new customer offer and your new three month premium wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to mintmobile.com/crapins. Cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com/crapins. $45 upfront payment required equivalent to $15 a month. New customers on first three month plan only, speed slower above 40 gigabytes on unlimited plan. Additional taxes, fees and restrictions apply, see Mint Mobile for details. Oh yeah, I liked it too. I liked that he was on like a little vest. He's like a little sweater vest. I actually liked Jim at that moment. I like Jim telling his son like, yeah, you got to like speak up. You know, I was like, I don't know. I kind of feel like they are, they have big plans for their kid's future, you know, which is, I think why I sort of like Jim and Amber a little bit because I, as, because look, everyone on the show is at a base level of like awful, right? And crappiness. But with these two, I feel like they actually have plans and aspirations for their kids that. Oh, whatever. They're on black water, dude. You're very nice, but they're trash. Okay, I'm not saying they're not trash. I'm just saying, I think they actually, they see a future for their kids as opposed to like the others say they see a future, but I mean, really, what are G and Melania going to be? They're going to go to like, you know, community college, which is no offense community college, but like, they're just going to be hanging around home. Well, here's how I think of the whole cast of New Jersey. Okay. I have a mutt, a mixed dog, right? And my friend, who I love, one of my best friends has a little beautiful French pit bull. My dog, healthy as a horse, her dog, broken hips, could probably be dead any second now. Can't breathe. I read an article the other day that those dogs are so inbred that they're stupid. They're falling apart. They got young. Yeah. And you know, that's how I feel when I watch your realize lots of New Jersey. I'm like, I get that your culture is brought up to keep it in the family and to, you know, keep your bloodline clean Italian. I get it. Like, you don't really see a lot of mixing going on there. Italians, it's time to mix. All right, you need to bring some smarter jeans in or you're going to be like a bulldog. You guys can barely breathe as it is. Look at Joe. I mean, it's like a perfect parallel. Come on, guys, get it together, start, stop with the inbreeding, start, start fucking some black people. Let's get, let's get, let's get some stronger bones here. Come on, guys. Oh, gosh. Okay. So why, I don't care, bring any other race into it, but you guys need to change it up. Rose, why don't we move to Orange County? Okay. So have a bulldog story about them. Whatever. It's okay. They went to Bali. So let's see. What happened this episode? This was like, you know, Lizzie's starting to show some signs of life by stirring the pot a little bit in her sort of like, sad way. Lizzie is I'm done. I can't with her. She needs to get fired really bothered me. You know, my party came to mind. I love that they showed that clip, though, of all that scene, of all that footage we didn't see in the limo on the way to her party in LA, which is, you know, probably 45 minutes to an hour away, at least. And she stuck everyone stuck with her miserable in the limo, having a fit. And her husband tries to comfort her. And she's like, yeah, maybe you can try getting a heart on more than once a week, jerk. My husband doesn't throw me a decent party next year. I'm leaving him. Yeah, that was pretty good. It's pretty evil. They keep, they did that a lot this episode where they sort of like, Oh, by the way, here's something we didn't show you. Here's something, someone's evil that we didn't tell you about. And like, you know, I had to say, you know, when I think we're all sharing their sides of the story, as much as I think Tamara's the worst and evil, I feel like Tamara was exonerated, I thought. I think Tamara was, was okay. Like, meaning that like her actions, Lizzie made it sound like, okay, so Tamara didn't call, and then Tamara, then the next day was making fun of her. When in fact, Tamara, well, she didn't call because Tamara thought she was gonna go. And then on top of that, she and Tamara were like already talking and like joking. And so, so like, you can't be mad at her then the next day if you're already having like funny text interaction. And then when Tamara called her on it, Lizzie's like, well, you know what, it's not really about the text. It's just that, you know, you're just like rude. Shut up, Lizzie. Yeah, Lizzie's obviously, she obviously got caught being a big liar pants, too, just like the rest of them. I mean, Tamara, look, if you're not gonna go, all she was saying was she was sitting alone in the car on her birthday waiting for people. And it was an hour later, and you hadn't even called. Yeah, that's wrong. You know, that's not cool. But then when she was like, but we were texting back and forth and joking that you were showing your vagina and stuff. And then she's trying to make that a big deal. It's like, that's really sad because that's her in that port. Is it Danielle or whatever that girl's name is? They're just both their hangers on that didn't get fired soon enough. Like, I feel like New York had a good grasp. You remember when they had that awful girl on earlier this season? Yeah, the catch was like, bye bitch. And basically, it acts her in one episode. Yeah, they have a better grasp because this should have happened to both of those girls. They've got nothing to say. There are fighters stupid. Like, I just want a real fight. You know, I want these women to be like, I want them to have one fucking tea party, where someone's like, all right, is Israel getting a raw deal? Are they terrorists? Go. You know, that's I want to see that fight. I can't tell if the most amazing thing ever would be to hear the Orange County women weigh in on Israel, or would that be the worst thing ever? Because it could go both ways. Well, the perfect thing is it's like a mixture of both always, you know, but it's something else, because Shannon would be like, Nanyahu, David, Nanyahu. And she would be like, David, wow, we have decided with the Jews because David's name is David. So obviously, starve David, starve David. You know, a lot of this, if the terrorists, if those tunnels were just filled with some, some decent herbs, you know, a lot of this depression and this rocket launching, but it could be solved in a second. They just send Dr. Moon over there. That's all that to do, David. David. They need a few Dr. Moon thumbs up there, but David, that's it. The whole Middle East will be solved. David. Thank you, man. We don't need to be building tunnels. We need to be building them GNCs, David. All right, that'll solve everything. I mean, there was like, there were a lot of like, stupid shenanigans, like Vicki throwing up in the backseat of that car and like, screaming on the other hand. Vicki, Vicki, we get it. You're wacky and you're trying really hard. Stop it, please. Exactly. And they had like adult dinner or whatever. But basically like, oh, I'm not eating this food. I didn't smell this. It's a real move. Like I'm like rocking a bowling call. I'm not eating a bowling call. That was one of the stupidest things. I'm like, Vicki, we all know you know what Moose is. You're not being funny right now. And then, well, I loved how so after the Lizzy fights, then Heather Vicki and Tamara decided to walk away. And then Tamara was denying some, what was it that she was denying? She's like, I never made fun of, I never made fun of her dress. I never made fun of her dress. And Heather's like, well, actually you did. You made fun of her dress to me. And then Tamara gets all pissed. And then the rest of the episode, she's pissed at Heather. She's like, can you believe Heather, you know, saying that I made fun and like she always, Tamara is such a wench, you know. Classic deflection. Classic deflection. Let's just start an entire other war. So people are watching that now. It's wagged a dog a little bit. Yeah, but it was kind of, it was really fun though to watch Shannon, Lizzy and Danielle talk to you about Tamara. That was really fun. Oh yeah, Lizzy is ready to bring everybody down. And what's, what I really like, not Lizzy, Shannon. Yeah. Can I say Lizzy? Shannon's ready to bring everybody down, which I really liked that about her because at this point in filming, I don't believe that the show had started even airing yet. So she doesn't know that she has the whole country on her side yet. She's just kind of assuming that she does. Yeah. Well, could she self-possessed? Yeah. And she's also self-confident, you know. She's like, knows that she's right. I mean, I think the bitch is crazy. Don't get me wrong. And as any housewife does, we'll stick up for her now and then she'll turn into being utter horrible nightmare. Yeah, next season, she'll be terrible next season, but this season she's great. Everyone loves her. Yeah, but it is funny watching her not give a shit. She'll go up against anybody who comes close and even Vicky's like, I'm not fucking with her. Yeah. You got to respect it, because that's not easy. But yeah, so that she sits with down with Dumb and Dumber, which I love, that they showed that clip on the bus, a Vicky walking right up to the bus going, Oh, God, no one's here. I got to hang out with Dumb and Dumber as loud as she can, having a fitted palette. I love that. Yeah. And then she's like, Hi, everyone, I'm here. But yeah, so Shannon has a discussion with Dumb and Dumber and Lizzy's like, well, you need to be careful because she's not your friend. And here's what she said about you. Um, and now we're going to get to watch it go kaboom. I know. By the way, I love what, um, one of our listeners on Facebook, Edward Mitchum wrote, he goes, we now know that Bravo spent the entire vacation budget on Real House as of Orange County. Sorry, Beverly Hills in Atlanta. You'll be going to Dairy Dairy Queen for ice cream this year. So true. Oh, um, let me see here. I'm looking. Oh, yes. What is that thing that Aviva was saying about Harper Lee? Paula Jones brought up. Uh, I want a bunch of Viva for what she said about Harper Lee. Bitch, get your facts straight. I just read an article about this about how, uh, Harper Lee is to kill a mockingbird, which I guess I'm just going to say a hundred times in this podcast. Uh, how Truman Capote supposedly either heavily edited that or wrote it for her or whatever. And that was, I guess I was reading it because it was brought up on the reunion. I don't know. But yeah, it was a lot about that. Well, I guess, are we going to talk about New York? Want to talk about New York? Um, there wasn't much else to, to Orange County. I guess there wasn't. Wait, hold on. Let me like, just see notes. I'm, oh, I did write down. I don't know if we've already talked about this, but for the, some reason it struck me that Tamara's open, opening line is I'm not getting older. I'm getting older. That's so weird. It also struck me this week too. And I was like, I was like, no, you're like, no, you're getting older. I mean, if anything, you're, you're getting totally older. I had that same reaction this week. I was like, no, Bitch, you're getting older and you're not getting older. You're getting older. More boldly older. You're getting moldier. You're getting older. I'm not getting older. I'm getting older. I'm getting older. Oldlier. Oldlier. Yeah. Um, Vicki's accountant versus Heather's. Oh, oh, um, Heather is like super and interesting and her assistant girl that she hires is even less interesting. But Vicki is really interesting. And she has that assistant. He's like, oh, you're going to Bally. Yeah, I love them. And her name should be Bev. I don't remember what it is. I think it's actually Linda. She's like, Oh, well, you know, they don't have the internet over there. You're working to do your work. Do you know how many people have died in Bally on scooters lately? I'll be here sniffing the leather wallpaper. Okay, have fun. I think that they need to give the entertaining one to Heather because Heather is unbearable. And I just want to see that old lady walking around Heather's house. Like, uh, you're building a new house. Oh, you better watch out with the balcony because kids fall off of those. That was making me laugh the other day. Um, what else? They all had to wear crowns, Vicki shrimp mousse, barfing knot. Why everyone hates the US? Oh, the ladies on the bus. Jesus. Talk about stupid Americans. The terrorists need to win. I know. Let's move on to New York. Yeah, I think that's it. Yeah. Okay. So New York, I mean, where do you let's talk about Ramona and Luan, shall we? Sure. Because this is the moment that Luan's been waiting basically seven years for, which was for Ramona to finally be the one accused of having to talk and face rumors and allegations and basically facts of Mario cheating on her. Because as Doreenan showed for like years and years and years, Ramona has always needled Luan about the fact that her husband cheated on her or would say things that Luan's a cheater or they have an open marriage. And Luan would always, would hate it when Ramona would do that. And so now that Luan had a chance to do it back to her, whoo, karma's a bitch indeed. Yeah, so are all of these ladies. That was really fun. Did Ramona ever answer it? Because actually I was late to the podcast and that was the last part of the reunion. So I actually didn't get to see that part. Ramona, no, it was actually really, this is like the first time ever that Andy kind of took a hard line on something. He was like, you know, because he was trying to ask her like basically softball questions about the situation and she was like, she was totally stonewalling. In fact, he called her Stonewall Jackson and she was like, all I have to say is that we have a beautiful daughter and we are happily married and we're staying married. And that's all I have to say about it. Next question. Okay. Okay. Okay. And then, but then, but like Andy kept on kneeling. He's like, well, how have your friends been in the situation? She's like, I don't want to talk about it anymore, Andy. I don't want to talk about it. He's like, yeah, but I'm just asked about your friends. I don't want to talk about it, Andy. Andy. Okay. Okay. I'm sorry. I'm not going to talk about it. I've got a beautiful daughter. I'm sorry. Okay. Yeah. Andy. I'm kind of with Ramona here. Like fuck you, dude. You know, like you've like built an entire empire off of women in pain. Yeah. And the point where basically these old bitches are coming on here and beating the crap out of each other and embarrassing women everywhere just so they can sell their fucking wine or whatever other cannoli kit or whatever bullshit product they've come up to try and keep up with their fucking house payments that they've only got to try and convince you that they're rich. So you'll keep them on TV so they can keep abusing people. It's like the circle of abuse and you're the ringleader. And so when he goes off on someone's real pain like that, like, I mean, I'm not saying you shouldn't ask about it, but fucking stop needling, dude. She said she's not going to talk about it. Let's not like sit up there and grovel to you the whole time. You know, normally, normally, yes, you're right. Normally, I would say that. But in the context of Ramona, where Ramona has taken such joy in needling others, I think it's time she actually, she, well, I think that if the other housewives kept doing it, then that's different because that's their thing. They're in a mud pit. But when Andy is like the leader of the mud pit and he's getting into the mud because it's not as muddy as he would like it to be, it's like, you're showing your true colors, Mary, you need to just sit back down and keep announcing when a commercial break is coming up. Well, he showed his, he showed his, he showed his true colors in the pod buster thing when Sonia was talking to him and he was just like on his cell phone, he's like, yeah, oh, wow. And she's like, well, you know, you know, my, my fashions are doing very well in San Tropez. And my burlesque, they want, they want to see that in Kathmandu. Yeah. So it's, you know, with, I'm really blowing up Andy and he's like, yeah, yeah, that's great. That's great. That was the best scene of the whole thing so far. And she's like, Andy, do you know about my, my burlesque thing? Oh, you know, I mean, more, it was more of a skit. Maybe we should just call it a skit now. He was like, it was hilarious. He's like, uh-huh, uh-huh. Yeah, it's like, did you see me outside her day not live with the mango? Did you see me with the mango? And he's like, uh-huh. Like, oh, it was so good, Andy. Everybody loved it. And Andy, this is new. They've actually brought me into NASA. I'm actually going to be going on Spaceship this week. Yeah, yeah, it's gonna be great. Uh-huh. Yeah, it's great. Uh-huh. They brought me into NASA because I'm actually a living black hole. Do you know how many 23-year-olds are missing since they've seen me, Andy? I've just sucked them out, spit them out the back end, Andy. You know, they, they actually used my toaster oven to communicate with different galaxies. Yeah. And they actually found a little raccoon astronaut and the two of us are going to go into space. And, uh, we're going to meet up with the tree and a big, big muscle guy. And, um, we're going to save the, uh, the galaxy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to make that guy from 30, or I'm going to make that guy from Parks and Reckless a lot of way to hang out with me, Andy. Yeah. Uh, and I'm surprised I haven't heard about it because they're commercials for it all over the CV about this. You know, it's like everyone's talking about it. Everyone wants to see, you know, us be the guardians of the galaxy because that's what we're doing. You know, and I'm, I'm going to have this, um, homeless Irish girl that I know and I only tweeted about it for him. Oh my God. No, that was the best. That was the best part. When she said that she had a girl in Ireland who knows about SEO who just lost her home tweeting for her, you realize, you know, like, I'm sure you do too. I get a lot of spam emails that's like SEO will improve her SEO. We knew how to do it. She clearly got one and was like, oh, I got to get to the bottom of this. There was one time like 12 years ago, again, still sort of the early ages of like modern email where I remember once, uh, like, hang out with my friend at my friend's pool, my friend Lauren. Lauren, hi, Lauren. I hope you're listening to this part. And, uh, Lauren's mom, well, actually it wasn't her stepmother. I can't be a setter mom. Uh, so her Lauren stepmother had a friend named like Moira or Myra or something like that. She's like this, this lady who talked like this. And she got like one spam email that was said something like, and like improve the size of your penis. And she goes, so I wrote an email to them. And I said, don't you email me ever again. And I said, if you do, I'm calling the attorney general. I'm like, you know, that's not how spam works, right? But that's what I can imagine Sonya doing, except the reverse being like, Oh, in Irish SEO leader. How do I subscribe to this? How do I subscribe to more emails like this? Yeah. Um, yeah, well, that whole fight was hilarious because it was about how Sonya isn't nice enough to Luan. And it makes so insecure about their friendship. And the way I'm like, darling, when my when I was on the home shopping network, I emailed all of you to tweet for me and support and everybody did it. But you and she's like, well, sorry, but I don't read my emails. I have a girl in Ireland who's homeless who knows SEO. It's like that the delusions and the stories are, get weirder and weirder and weirder. It actually made stupid Luan, which she was saying sound reasonable. Like, darling, why didn't you tweet about my home shopping? Listen, Luan came out so on top. I mean, the way she's just going after Ramona in this, like, passive aggressive, subtle way, like, no, well, you know, it's just, you know, I'm not, you know, I'm just merely saying to Ramona how, like, you know, how, you know, how unpleasant it is to have someone cheat on you. And Rose like, enough. I don't want to talk about this anymore, Andy. I don't want to talk about it. Oh my god. Another big thing we went over was Ramona in the Berke. Yeah. She's like, here are the places, okay? Here are the places. The Hamptons, the Hamptons, New York City, Beverly Hills and Aspen. It's like, those are the places that you go to. Okay. Nowhere else. Okay. You don't go to Beverly Hills. Uh, yeah, who does that? Malibu. Yeah, go to the bow. More relaxed. Yeah. What about La Jolla? How about La Jolla? Have you thought about that Ramona? Oh my god. Love La Jolla. Yeah. What about, what about Carmel? Oh hi. Santa Barbara. Yes, Santa Barbara. Okay. Ramona, those are the places. Yeah, those are the places you go to relax. I mean, if you want to go like lick each other's asses, you go to the Hamptons. Fuck the Hamptons. You know what they have in the Hamptons? Stony beaches. Who wants to be on the beach in the Hamptons? It's rocks. It's fucking rocks. Well, actually, you know what? Luan had the best, one of the best things of the night when, when, um, when Ramona was talking about like the woods and I brought back a lot of memories for me. Okay. And then Luan was like, well, they've got woods in the Hamptons too. Just like quiet little zing right there. Um, by the way, you know, who goes to Beverly Hills? It's like Reza and Asa and the Shahza sunset if you get my drift. Um, and I was so excited that I walked into a Shahza sunset shoot last week. You would have known that if people, if you were fans of our Facebook page, because I took a picture of their sign that said you're in a shoot for Shahza sunset. Um, but I didn't sink around long and if I saw Reza and I was like, got to get out of here. Yeah, I can barely watch them when they're on my TV. I don't need them in real life. I saw like, I told you I passed MJ on my scooter and she's wearing these like legging things, like these really tight legging things that were neon and black and a pat in like a chevron pattern. And I was like, whoa. Yeah. I mean, you'd think in this, after this long of being on TV, somebody would have just said something to you like, how many gay people do you know? I mean, come on. I know. Um, also wait, why don't we talk about Aviva for a second? Um, so book gate reared its ugly head this on this episode. And Aviva is just so awful. Carol actually explained her side in a very articulate way in a very smart way. She talked about like ghost writers and how, you know, it's industry standard ever, but for her, it, you know, it's more of an affront because she's an actual writer. She makes her livelihood that way. Um, Aviva still denied that she had a gross writer and then did the whole it takes a village thing. And then she starts acting so obnoxious to Carol. She's like, weird. That's the only word you can use weird. I mean, use your words, writer girl. Weird, weird. What sort of word is that? I want to just smack that leg right off her. Yeah, like, re I'm gonna re um, leg you bitch. I'm gonna double peg you bitch. Um, yeah, she was pretty tricky about what how she worded it. She basically said, um, she basically said, no, I don't have a ghost writer, I wrote a draft and then handed it over to my team, which means she put a bunch of words down and then they made it sensical. Yeah. And then so yeah, she had a ghost writer, basically, she wrote, she wrote part of it and then they made it good, you know, like good editing, which, which makes sense. It's just such a, to me, it's kind of a stupid fight. Like it went on too long. And Carol, like, I'm totally on Carol's side. I don't think she had a ghost. I mean, I don't care if she had a ghost writer. I would never know because I'm never reading that shit. But the other thing is that like for Aviva, she says how Carol's like not like such an important writer, like who cares about Carol as a writer. I'm like, you know, you realize you're the same woman who in the beginning of last season talked about how like excellent the book was and how much it moved. You have inspirational it was and how she's such a wonderful writer. So either you're a liar or you're totally insulting to Carol. It was one of those things. It was a September Tuesday at five p.m. As I waited on that park event, my vagina trembled. He was coming soon. What would he look like? Would he look like a new man or a man for my past? Would he look like that man who once got on a plane whose name I won't mention? Or will he be someone completely new? And why does my vagina feel like there's an earthquake going on under this park bench? The widow's guide to dating my Carol Redswell. Is this a kitchen or a place he's going to screw me for the first time where there's an office printer? Oh gosh. It was like a crazy reunion. I didn't think it was like anything too amazing though. But it was it was no because I mean again they're all just so practiced and prepared. They just start yelling and yapping at each other. I was like passing a dog kennel. When Fred Flintstone comes home, Adina's like, what else happened? I didn't write any notes because I watched it literally just right now. There was talk about how the way Anne going off in the cab with Harry, but then the way I was like, yeah, but I was thinking it was Harry and Heather and like someone else. It wasn't what it was like for people in the cab. It wasn't like the way. Did you read that post that Carol made, the blog that Carol made after that episode? Oh my god. It was so funny. I did. Yeah. Carol, you know that Carol's a good writer if you go to Bravo TV and read her blogs because that bitch is hilarious. She rips everybody and he went in them and they're so funny. And that one, she was talking about how crazy Sonia is because none of that happened. Sonia never ran after a cab. She didn't hurt her ankle running after any cab. It was not a surprise to her that her friend left. She knew that he didn't go home with Lou Anne. Like that was just all a bunch of made up crap. But Heather says it in the funniest fucking way. And you got to love Sonia for never backing down on anything. No, she's crazy. Well, I mean, she can't afford to back down because, you know, she's got to keep her SEO numbers up as per her Irish homeless girls advice. Oh my god. She is so funny. She is crazy. Crazy interns. You know how many homeless people I have helped? How many children? I like that she goes, well, they're interns that, you know, they get college credit, you know, because some girls want to learn about fashion. They're like, you know, you know, sometimes, you know, you know, it depends on what they're learning in school. So if they're learning, they're learning on the Mac, then that's what we focus on in the semester, semester how to learn how to do Mac. And then she's like, and then after that, they become volunteers. Yeah, because learning how to schedule on a Mac, I mean, that's an entire semester on its own. So she's officially a charity case because she now has volunteers. I'm an official not-for-profit organization. What's up with that gay guy who's worked for her for three years for free? Like, he must get so much dick. He must. Because you know that that's like currency in a gay bar working for a housewife? Yeah. Oh, I know. I'm like, oh, I know. I'm like, I just talk about housewives. You never know what's gonna happen. Um, yeah, I don't know why anyone would like hang around that creepy old townhouse. You know, she's lost her mind. Easy. I mean, you remember that, um, did the job posting or the thing I that email I read like a few months ago about like someone who who applied to work for Sonya. And it's like the the whole the I'm sorry, it wasn't a job posting. It was just the description of the experience and how crazy it was. I mean, oh my God, I'm sure you're working for Sonya. I should if I if she were here, I would apply to be her intern and I would see how it goes. So how many more episodes of this do we do we have one more one more, I think? So one more of this and then we've got Jersey Bell. Are they going to be showing girl housewives of Melbourne on Bravo regularly? Yeah, Sundays, Sundays at like noon. Okay. And then what other new shows are coming up below deck? Are they having another housewives show right now? No. So I'm going to watch one episode of Jersey Bell. And if I like it, then I will continue. Okay, I'll watch it. I'll watch it too. I mean, maybe we have to watch too, because next week it'll be too. We'll have already been out. I'm sure the story will be we'll be we'll be so hard to keep up with the story. I know. The Jersey really hard. It's like she moves down to the south and she says a lot of vulgar things and other girls are like, what? And she's like, whatever, I'm from Jersey. And now I'm in the I'm in Alabama. Yeah, you remember that show about the Jersey lawyer? It was that same thing. It was like legally blonde, but it was she was a lawyer from Jersey. And everyone's like, we can't take you seriously in this law firm. And she's like, why just because I'm hiding them from Jersey? And they're like, yeah, but then it turns out she's a real smart cookie. Yeah, I've seen all that shit. All right, everybody stop it. Stop with this Jersey fish out of water crap. I'm also not enough having to deal with Jersey people in Jersey. Yeah, I'm also not going to watch the singles project. I don't even know what I don't understand what it is. And I don't want to know. That starts today, right? No, it's me. I'm not paying attention. It starts next week. I just saw a bunch of tweets about it. All right. Well, why don't we wrap this up? Ronnie. Thank you again for being a great co-host and a great friend as well. Thanks even though you like Ramona more than me. Well, you know, it goes back and forth. So anyway, everyone, please like this Facebook page, facebook.com/watchmorecrap and be sure to subscribe to us on Stitcher, SoundCloud, iTunes, wherever you want to find us, subscribe. Follow us on social media. I'm @bsideblog and Ronnie is at either trash talk TV or trash tweet TV or at Ronnie Karam. Just do a search and go to trash talktv.com. You can read his TV coverage, see his big brother in two minutes videos, which are super funny. Oh, and I'm doing some big brother coverage too, so you can check that out too. And everyone, I just hope everyone has a wonderful and safe week. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Bye everybody. Bye everyone. Bye. If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the internet. The folks behind the side show network have launched a new YouTube channel called WaitForIt. It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza Schleisinger, slicing, driving friends with it for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there, and I still have a hard time with the last name Liza. Our very own Owen Benjamin, that's me, takes you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes and much more. You don't have to wait any longer. Just go to youtube.com/waitforacomedy. There's no need to wait for it anymore, because it's here, and it's funny, and I love you. To the insurance company that did me wrong, I've moved on, I'm happily insured with another. Bless your peep-picking heart. It was just never meant to be betwixt us. You gave me automobile insurance apprehension, and GEICO has come along in just 15 minutes, given me new car insurance, and made me as duplicate as a newborn lamb in springtime. And Paul has given GEICO his approval. That's one thing you never had. Joyful with another, Clara May in Colombia. GEICO. 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance. If you like Watch what Crap-ins, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at Wondery.com/survey. Have you ever wondered who created that bottle of sriracha that's living in your fridge? Or why nearly every house in America has at least one game of Monopoly? Introducing the best idea yet, a brand new podcast from Wondery and Teaboy, about the surprising origin stories of the products you're obsessed with, and the bolderest takers who brought them to life. Like, did you know that Super Mario, the best-selling video game character of all time, only exists because Nintendo couldn't get the rights to Popeye? Or, Jack, that the idea for the McDonald's Happy Meal first came from a mom in Guatemala from Pez dispensers to Levi's 501s to Air Jorders. Discover the surprising stories of the most viral products. Plus, we guarantee that after listening, you're going to dominate your next dinner party. So follow the best idea yet on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to the best idea yet early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. It's just the best idea yet.