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Why don't you just start a website about how original that deal is? So everyone, goDaddy.com, WWC295 and you get a new or transfer.com for the low price of $2.95. ♪ Watch what Crapins ♪ ♪ Watch what Crapins ♪ ♪ Who cares what ♪ ♪ Have this right there ♪ ♪ So how about it ♪ ♪ Have this right there ♪ ♪ So how about it ♪ ♪ So how about it ♪ ♪ So what about it ♪ ♪ So how about it ♪ ♪ Who cares what ♪ ♪ Have this right there ♪ ♪ So much that Crapins ♪ - Hey everybody, welcome to "Watch what Crapins" a podcast about all the crap we love to talk about on Bravo. I'm Ronnie Karam from TrashTalkTV.com and I'm joined by Ben Mandelker, B-Side Blog. Hello there, you pants a little devil. - Oh, thank you, Ronnie, you just lifted my day right on up. - You can find Ben on the internaits@bsideblog.com. That's for his recap, food reviews, et cetera.r. You can also find him on all social media outlets @bsideblog. That includes Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, fine, Tinder. - Yeah. - Okay, Q did. - I'm here, Scruff. - I'm no longer, I'm actually very proud to say I'm no longer on. Tinder, Grinder, or okay, keep it. - Oh yeah, Ben's married now. (laughing) - That's mad now. (laughing) - And you can find me, Ronnie Karam, K-A-R-A-M. - On the internet @TrashTalkTV.com, it's a really funny recap site. A lot of great recapers right now and our Bravo recapers specifically are killing it right now. Dear Krabby on the game of Crowns, Hilarious, Alejandro, Real Housewives of OC. Everybody's doing great. Real Housewives of New York is really funny this year. And of course, Chickbombs is back with Real Housewives of New Jersey. So come check those guys out. You can find me on social media @RonnyKaram on Twitter, on Facebook. I mean, I don't do anything on Facebook, Instagram. You can also find me on #TrashTweetTV on whatever. Who cares? - I like to watch my big brother in two minutes' videos. It's #TrashTalkTVTweetTV. That's enough of that because-- - Yeah, really funny. - Just Google. If you want to go on Instagram for #TrashTalkTV for recaps and stuff, just Google, Instagram #TrashTalkTV, okay? Let's just all use Google more. And then we can load up at the beginning of podcasts. - And come to our Facebook page. Did you mention that? - Oh yeah, come to our Facebook page. It's super fun. We're both on it right now, talking, reading you guys. It's Facebook. - We are reading you guys. We are reading. - We're gonna read you. - We're gonna find out what's up with all of you. We're gonna say it. We're gonna say it right now. - No, yeah, we're about to read you. - I'm gonna read you on there. - And to let Marie, you better look at. I am coming for you. - You gonna have to let Marie? You're gonna get rid of your own. - Shabano, Shabano, Brian, I am reading you. - I'm gonna read you like gongirl. - Yeah. Oh, you know that Tammy plain. (laughing) She's a real problem. I'm reading her all day long. - Yeah, you guys come there to discuss shows on the nights that they're happening. We have discussion threads there. And then on the day that we tape, on Wednesdays, we have another discussion for whatever you guys wanna talk about. And you guys are on fire, as usual. We just posted this 45 minutes ago, and there's a lot of damn comments here, and they are hilarious. So let's get on with the show now. Oh, and on Twitter, what crap is it? Okay, let's get on with this shit now. - Yeah. - There is a lot of stuff happening this week. A lot of ladies being mean to each other. I was at Wells Fargo today, taking care of some business, and the Russian lady was acting like she gives a shit, 'cause they're like salesmen at banks now. I don't know what they're trying to sell. But anyway, she's like, "What do you do?" And I told her I write real housewives, recaps, and stuff, and she's like, "Oh, I watched one, but that's the only time I ever watched it." And I was like, "Well, here's every episode for you." She didn't come to my party, what a bitch. Oh, that girl at my party was so mean to me. Oh, look what she brought to my party. Let's have a party. That's that whole show. (both laughing) And this week was no different. Jesus. - Yeah. Jesus. Well, what we started when that was seen then is that what I'm, that what I'm doing. - Sure, let's do it. - Baby. - A little out of order. - David. - David. David. David. David. David. David, be sure to take all the knowledge. (David laughing) David, thanks so much for sticking up for me, David. I really appreciate it, David. David, do you want to go to Bali, David? - Therefore, be sure not to linger too long in it because the raids are going to kill all your cells. - David. - David, don't walk through that machine, David. It's going to scan your body. Everyone's going to see your penis and you might get herpes from their eyes, David. - David, when you go to Italy, make sure, don't have any pasta, okay, David? Because that pasta, it comes from materials that come from the ground, David, and that's dangerous. David. (David laughing) - Yeah, Shannon, wow. Looney Tunes. Okay, so where do you want to start? - Well, when we start with, let's start with like Lizzie 'cause she's so fun and exciting. And, you know, she's so mesmerizing that just everyone was like just, they were knocking on the door of that party bus trying to get in. - The important thing. I mean, she is totally the example of-- - But it was my party, but no one came to my party. But what is my party? Party, yeah. - Let me tell you something. That definitely sucked for her because when I first moved to Los Angeles, I didn't know anyone. And I was a PA on a TV show. And I want the temp agency that just turned me down because I didn't have enough office experience to know that yes, I worked in an office as a PA. But there was a woman named Tricia who worked in the office too. And she was this, we got along. She was sort of like this middle-aged, passive-aggressive, sad, sack of a woman, but she was like my only friend 'cause I was new to the city. And she had a big, she was like, I'm having a big birthday party. It's gonna be a halved moon at the Universal City Walk. So I didn't know any of these things meant. I just, I went. I was the only one who showed up for her party. (laughing) - That's so sad. What is wrong with people? - And they were stupid because she was friends at the bartender so I had free, long-round nice teas all night long. - Oh, that's nice. And classy. - And classy. That's back when I was, you know, 22 and drinking one-round nice teas. - Yeah, that's some classiness. - Yeah. - Well, this Real Housewives of OC has cost a lot of shit this week, which is awesome. Caitlyn McKay posted some really fun stuff on our Facebook. Let me try and look this up. But so one of the things was, you know, Tamara calling, not ever calling to say she's not coming to the party. I mean, it really hurt what's her buns, bimbo faces feelings. - Well, but that's, I mean, that is bad etiquette. If you're not coming, you should say so. - Well, she, Tamara basically went on Facebook and had a fucking cow. She said, "I submitted my bravo blog, but here are a few facts that I'm sure bravo will take out of my blog when they post it." - But what were the facts? - Sophie was sick. - This is from reality team, by the way. So if I misspell it, it's because they don't have a spell checker there. If I misspeak, if you misspell your phone. - If I misspell as I speak, that's why. Which is hilarious coming from me 'cause we don't have one at Trash Talk TV either. So Lord knows what you're reading. Sometimes recaps are just turned in on napkins. I just scan them. - There's no such thing as spell check anymore, but. I mean, how could you ask for a spell check when we litter all of our senses with like cones and dashes and hyphens and say it's a smiley face? - Totally, totally. - Hello, well. - You know those things on Facebook that are like, "Can you read this?" And they're like all backwards words. We just know how to read through misspellings now. - Actually, you know what my favorite thing is, is that when you type in something on Facebook, like, "Ha!" or like you say like, "Lord!" Or something, you write something that like in a crazy spelling. And then Facebook says, "Would you like to see "the translation?" (laughs) Wow, I actually wrote something in a different language, at least Facebook. - Oh yeah. Oh God, there's a picture of Nimi Leaks and Zumanity here. Sorry, don't go to reality tea. Don't see that. So anyway, Tamara took aim at the producers. One, production knew my daughter was sick and I could not make it to Lizzie's birthday party. They asked me to wait until the cameras were up in the limo to let Lizzie know. Then they had her call me and say, "How rude that you didn't call me." - I believe that actually. - I do too, but bitch, you're on a reality show. Like, that's just how it works. You don't get to like, come defend yourself and play in editing every time it doesn't work out for you. Okay? - That's true too. - Like, editing is saved your ass so many times this season. - That's true. - First of all, they've saved you period 'cause you're still on it. If I was in that room, I would have cut your ass on the floor the second that baby showed up at your doorstep. - I do too. As soon as Vicki and Shannon found out, I was not going, they both called me. Yes, me and Shannon were friendly, even though they make it out that we are not at this point. Just a few days prior, we were rock climbing together. Shannon told me she was in too and was told by producers that she had to go. I told her that that was not right and she needed to be strong with them. - Damn it. - Okay. - Damn it, that's all. - So now you're basically not only not going to her party, but you're standing up for someone else not going. So you're actually being kind of more of an asshole in this post than you were on the show. Three, Vicki was pissed that she had to go alone. She told me she did not want to go hang out with dumb and dumber referring to Lizzie and Danielle. She asked me how she could get out of going. I jokingly said tell production you have a yeast infection, it's not like anyone's going to check. Vicki ended up going two hours late. - Oh, Jesus. - At least she went. And at least she said she liked Lizzie and didn't call her dumb and dumber. It's not like before she was pretending that she didn't hate her, she wasn't being that big. I never told Vicki I did not want to go to the party, but I did tell her that we don't usually go out when we have the kids, blah, blah, blah. I have no words for Vicki. She was so nice to my face and talk so much crap behind my back. Then cries, Tamara ruined Brooks' reputation. No Brooks ruined his own reputation when he was recorded by your son in law calling you names and saying he needed to be beat. - She's right. - Six, Brianna knew about Brooks and just liked him years before I ever met him. No, I did not persuade your daughter to not like Brooks. Okay, so that's six, that's like a BuzzFeed article. - I know, this is a great listicle. - Tamara's pissed off of that. - Tamara's like six things that you won't believe Tamara's mad about. - Yeah, a little rat face Tamara. And the next week she breaks down and says, in the previous, she says, "You're just jealous 'cause Brooks wants to fuck me." I'm like, "Whoa, whoa, whoa." - I bet that's out of context. I bet that's a joke and I bet that Bravo's using it as a teaser. - Maybe, but Tamara seems to be going a little kazuki. And whenever she's gonna run out of a party screaming, you'll never see me again. - That's true, that's true. - So who knows? - I know, I'm still thinking about Tamara. - Tamara BuzzFeed listicles. Like, here are 10 things from the '80s that Tamara loves. You'll never believe the 13 thing that Tamara loves on this list. - Jelly shoes. - I actually went onto BuzzFeed, by the way, this week not to get off target, not target, tangent, go on a tangent. And it was this thing that's like, this thing from the Little Mermaid will change the way you see the movie forever. So I don't know why I clicked on it 'cause I didn't care, but I clicked and I was like looking and it was like, well, we all know Ariel. And so there's like a gift of Ariel. And then there's like, and then we all know Ursula, there's picture of Ursula. And then there's this guy, and then there's this guy. And it was like, and then at the very end, it was like, and if you look, in this scene, Ariel's not wearing shoes, but then when they come back to her, she is wearing shoes. And I was like, did I just really read this entire heart? - Oh, fuck that. - And it was like all filler. Like all this stuff beforehand was filler. I was like, I hate, I- - That is totally that side. I love the onion one click-hold that makes fun of BuzzFeed. That one's really funny. - Oh, I know. You know what, that being said, if BuzzFeed wants to hire me, I am ready to work. - I applied there. They looked at all my samples and they were like, I know. - So like, here are 13 reasons why. But meanwhile, this is the same site that do you remember the pose they did that were like here, like 27 things, like crazy things about plants that you didn't know. And they're like, you know that pineapples grow out, grow like on stock? You know that bananas grow upside down? I was like, oh this, do you know that avocados grow on trees? I was like, this is, I'm not joking. This is, I'm not making jokes. This is actually this. It was actually like it was, it was like edit, and the editor was like Tamara Barney. Like if Tamara- - I know that you could use an uncoiled paper clip to clean out your pipe. Wow, thanks a lot BuzzFeed. - Fuck it up, idiots. - Tamara, I was like, her brain is like blowing up. She was like, oh my God, all these things I never knew. - 13 reasons Eddie's going to leave Tamara before she's 60. - When Lizzie said that she was 34, and I almost fell off my chair. Do you believe that? - No, I don't, you know, I've said it before. I like Lizzie, I just think that she's boring. I also don't believe that she's 34. Yeah, I mean either, thank you. - Thank you. - 'Cause that's younger than me. And I was like, bitch, no. Sorry. - He's younger than me too. - Okay, so back to these housewives. We've just watched 10 hours of them. We should be talking about them. - Yeah, yeah. So, all right, so no one showed up for Lizzie's party, except for Vicky. And then they went to the writer's room down the street here in Hollywood and had like a boring dinner. So that was that. - And I was like, why did you travel all the way to LA to do that? - I know. Like why did, you know, by the way, poor Danielle, she didn't even, they didn't even show her at the dinner and she apparently was there. - Well, she was, obviously they're really late. I mean, if Vicky was two hours late, - Vicky was two hours later than on top of that, they had to go up to LA. - Yeah, then that girl, stupid Danielle girl, must have been there like crazy late. It must have been like the next morning. (laughing) - So that was rude, but you know what? That Lizzie girl, it's like her second party in two weeks. Like, and your first rule was dreadful. No one showed up because they were afraid of all the fucking fluorescent lighting you'd probably have there. - Yeah. And then honestly, everyone knows the rule about party is that if you basically have like a second party within like a month of your first party, no one's gonna show up to the second one. People feel like they've already put in their time. - Yeah, it's almost like you're gonna try and sell something. It's gonna be a Tupperware party or some shit. - Yeah, Lizzie, why don't you know what you say? - That's okay. - Lazar. So then let's see what else. Speaking of party. - It's like, well, I don't have any friends. I'm like, no, you don't. And it's sad 'cause they're all your cast mates. Don't you have friends from like other places? - I know. - Another moms? - That's what I was thinking. But then let's see, so what else happened? So then in Shannon's world, her daughter is going off to Italy with her husband. She was chap running a school trip. And Shannon basically packed, made her daughter pack like a whole crate of holistic remedies for like energy healing and I don't know, ridiculousness. This is where Shannon and I, this is where I feel like Shannon is not as relatable. And she's like, oh, here, here's a crystal for when you're feeling bloated on the plane. David. David. David. - Yeah, that was a bit much. That poor girl's gonna get on the no flight list. Jesus, you can't bring a pharmacy on the plane. - All right, here's a route for when you're bloated and here's a flower for when you want to cry. And then when the sun comes up, be sure to take this guava seed and put it up your bum hole. It's like, Jesus, look back down. - And hear the in-flight entertainment because there's too much surrounding noise. So just take this orange zest and it will help your hearing. David. - David. - David. David, why don't you hand her the shrub? - Why don't I have anything written down for Real Housewives of Orange County? I think I just enjoyed it so much. I wrote for Real Housewives of Orange County, but then there's just a triangle next to it. I don't know what that means. - Yeah, the other thing that happened was that Heather decided, you know, this was one of those episodes where Heather tried to position herself as being fun in a certain way. So she decided that she was going to have a Valentine's party at the St. Regis. So it was kind of funny because Heather's reading from this book. She's like, what's a dirty Sanchez? And I was just funny to hear her talk about dirty Sanchez's. But she had this party at the St. Regis and then people showed up. Lizzie called out Tamara for not showing up on time and Tamara acted all shocked as if Tamara is not the queen of calling out people at all times. - You know, but it always bugs me when a newbie does that because I mean, I don't, I make fun of Lizzie obviously, but I don't hate her. She seems like a nice girl. I mean, she won't be cast for next year, but at least she can leave with her dignity. - Right. - So when she tries to pull that shit just to be a part of the show, I really don't like it. It's like there's a bunch of people standing around and now's your party and it's like, well, I'm going to confront you in front of everybody right now and then just pout a lot and make you feel terrible. - Yeah, she's sort of like, she does it in a half ass way. She's like, well, I don't know. I just didn't think it was like that cool that, you know, you didn't show up. I just thought it was kind of rude. You're like, oh. - Like Vicki told me you didn't want to come. It's like now you're bringing the only person who was nice enough to show up to your party. - Yeah. - You're putting her in the middle of a Tamara, you know. - Cluster fucked. - Or whatever. - Yeah. - I also thought it was funny when they were asking these questions around the table and they were like, do you do anal? And then they cut to Danielle and her gay husband Joe. (laughs) And he's sort of sitting there like looking down at his bread plate. And Danielle's steam room with the gym. - Yeah. And Danielle's sort of like, no. She's like, I don't do anal and I don't do anything else for that matter. - Yeah, she's like, I don't do anal, but I let him do whatever he wants as long as he doesn't bring in home. - She's like, I mean, like I do anal on him if that's what you're asking. (laughs) - Yeah, exactly. - Get my strap on. (laughs) - Danielle, I don't know. What's she doing there? - I don't know. She's sort of like, wine's slightly. - I don't even know. - She's pretty. - If you paid me a million dollars to name one thing she said this entire time, I couldn't say it. - Well Tamara did say that she would pose noon for a million dollars. So we have that for-- - Oh wow. - Bitch, you were the one fucking your husband in a bathtub with your gigantic implants, two seasons ago. What are you talking about? You did that shift for free, shut up. - Yeah, exactly. Let's see, what else? Oh, the other thing is that Heather and Tamara decided that they were gonna, yeah, just spontaneously decided that they were gonna go to Bali. There was no influence from the producers whatsoever. - Yeah, that was all from Google Images. - Yeah, they just looked at Google Images and were like, let's go. So then they were like, let's invite everyone, but then maybe let's not invite Shannon and then maybe we'll like, or maybe let's like approach and be like, you can come, but no outburst allowed. So again, they're guests, the guests. - Well like, let's get together with her and if she apologizes to us, then she can come. Like, what kind of lunch is that gonna be? - And it actually was like a pretty like whatever, basically she was like, she was like, I don't know why our relationship's like, I don't know how to be like this, David, have her. - Well, I think someone told her, if you're not on the group trip, you're not gonna be in the next season. So do whatever you gotta do, then tell them off on the trip. - Yeah. - Because Tamara will be told off on that trip. You know that's coming. - Yeah, that's why Tamara's gonna go running away. - Yeah. - Because actually that's where the season's going. This is why it's a great season, because, you know, it starts first as, you know, Heather's the bad guy and then it becomes a, Heather's really the bad guy and then everyone suddenly realizes the way Tamara is the fuck chart here. So they're all gonna go after her. - Yeah. And she deserves it, it's a bad damn time. - She does, but she will be, you know, I mean, you can see that she's already turning against Shannon, you know, 'cause she got caught lying to Shannon and she doesn't really wanna apologize. She hates the feeling of being the one who's caught. So now she's turning against Shannon making Shannon the crazy ones. That way Tamara doesn't have to feel bad about being, where she is. - Yeah, they're totally in cool with that. And I love that they're doubling down on the gas lighting. - Yeah. - Well, you know, I don't want her to have a break. - Yeah. So wrong, but you know they're right. She is kind of loony. I mean, if you look at it from their side, she, I can see how she would be loony, even though they know that she's not. They're just bitches, but yeah. It's still very fun for me. And her showing up like, yeah, yeah. I don't understand why we can't get along. I'm a good person and I really wanna be your friend. So hopefully this is it and we can just move along. And Heather's like, do you think it's possible that the spirituality of Bali and, you know, we can be on the same cycle? I'm like, listen, bitch. The last thing we need is for you all to be on the same cycle. - Yeah. - All right. If Bali is gonna put you all on the same period, no, thank you. You're bad enough as it is. (laughing) What an awful thing to be known for. Come to Bali with your friends and get on the same cycle. - Oh. - Oh. - Let's spread that shit out, okay? - Oh my goodness. I couldn't agree more. - David. So what else happened at Real House so as of Orange County is kind of like just a slow build, right? - Yeah. - To whatever's coming up. - Nothing really happened. I'm trying to think, did Terry do anything? Did he say anything? - The best part was for me with Vicki when she showed up at that restaurant for that lunch or whatever. She's like, hey you. And she smiled, which means she squints and just out her top row of fake teeth, like a PES dispenser and I died. 'Cause that's the only thing that moves on her. Like those teeth come out of her mouth and she squints and like kind of shakes her head a little bit. - Yeah, I know exactly what happens. - That's hilarious. - I know exactly what you're talking about. - Really funny. - Oh, that was the best thing. Oh, and Lizzie being like, oh, Brooks gets a bad rap. He's such a good guy. - There were, by the way, there were a lot of flashbacks except so which I like too. There were even flashbacks from within the own episode but I liked at one point. I think I guess Tamara was defending that was saying that she doesn't get crazy or she just, or maybe Vicki said, you know, we all have our moments and they cut to Tamara throwing wine in Gina's face. (laughs) - Yeah, it's none of your business, batch. Tamara is truly the worst. She's a vile person. - Tamara is a vile, and it's so fun watching her this year because she looks like, okay. If you freeze frame on the part in the Wizard of Oz where the witch gets water thrown on her, that's basically Tamara's face, excuse me. - First of all, so she looks terrible and she's just acting terrible and she's getting called out and her own husband is like, "Just go to bed, babe." - She looks like if someone took a Michael Myers mask and then someone else wanted it and they were playing tug of war on it and it got stretched out a little bit, that's what she looks like. - Yeah, she looks like a raisin that you put in a glass of water to like make it look like a grape again but it just never can. - She looks like one of those things from the sea. What are those things called again, the horseshoe crab? She sort of looks like a horseshoe crab that's been stepped on. - I think she looks like, I got a blister on my thumb from a fire and after a few days I got sick of it and I wanted to see what it tasted like. So I bit the tip off and stuff came out of it and then she looked like what the skin looked like after that. - She looks like if you made like an apple pie with like a crust on top and then you poked two holes and then made a little smile on the crust, that's what she looks like. (laughing) - I think she looks like one of those children's balloons on their birthday that you let it go and as it gets closer and closer to the sun it starts freaking out. - That's what she looks like. (laughing) - It's freaking out. That's good. - Okay, so what else on there? That's it. - Nothing else, that's it. - Okay, bye OC, we'll see you next time. - Be crazier please because if Lizzie has another party I'm gonna fucking shoot somebody in the face. - Yeah. Okay, so what show do you wanna talk about next? - Damn it. - Let's talk about our baby man. Let's talk about New Jersey 'cause that was another one where not really a whole lot happened. - But there was still some funny stuff. Okay, first of all this Amber Girl with her cancer, it's cracking me up. Okay, she's like, oh well, you know, like everything's cancer. She's like, oh, do you want to buy, do we need some more oranges? - Oh well, you know, when I had the cancer, I really needed the orange juice all the time, you know. - Oh gosh, okay, Amber's cancer is like, Heather's guest dent on Malibu Country. - I know. - It's like her resume. It's like, what have you done? I had cancer, I had the cancer. It's like, how does that qualify you to work at Target? Because there's people with, there's wigs here, right? There's barrettes. I used to have to put barrettes in the wig that I had from that cancer, does that count? - I mean, I understand to be part of a life. - People with cancer need comfortable shoes at a discounted price, so there, I'm qualified. - I mean, it's hilarious, I mean, not to fast forward too much to Game of the Crowns, but it's also funny 'cause on Game of the Crowns, Vanessa is also doing the same thing. And she even said, like, that her platform is breast cancer, and I want to make people know that they don't have to be defined by their cancer. And I'm like, bitch, that's exactly what you're doing. You just said your platform is cancer. There's no better way to do it. There's nothing wrong with being defined by your cancer. I think being a cancer survivor is like a truly amazing thing, and it's wonderful. But like-- - I'm sure the season, I don't want to be defined by my cancer. That's her platform, that's hilarious. - Yeah, I mean, there's a line between being a proud survivor and doing your thing, and that's excellent. And then just making, when you were bringing everything over to the cancer, it actually makes it seem like, oh, you actually kind of want to just make people feel not sorry for you, but you just want to talk about yourself, actually. - Yeah. Oh yeah, when she's like, I feel so sorry for your husband and you 'cause of your problems with your kids, it's like, when I had the cancer, it's not anything like that. Okay, he defrauded like a million people. - Exactly. - It's going to jail. It's going to get butt raped for a long time, okay? It is not the same as breast cancer, okay? - Yeah, so there were only, we could eradicate that fucker with a little chemo. (laughing) - I know, exactly, you know, there were, so there were two things that were going on in this episode of New Jersey. One, what was the cancer? What was the cancer? Three things, one was that Melania is so out of control, it's like not charming, she is. - You're a butthole. - You're a butthole, you shut up now. No, you haven't used up, you little girl, how about, why don't you go to military school? How about that? You know, like I'm sure she's really, like it's not charming, she is actually a spoiled brat. - You know that little brat is walking around selling like pee is lemonade. Like just defrauding people, just like her father. - Yeah, I mean, she's a brat and she's like, "You're giving me anxiety, you're giving me anxiety, Milan." Like how about show some discipline? How about, here's where Amber does get some credit. The Amber and her husband, they do discipline their kids and you know what, their kids are little angels, I'll say it. - For now. - For now. - Give them time, look at Melissa's kids, they were cute, now look at that little girl's a little diva too now. - Well, I don't know, I still think her kids are, either way, they're all better than Teresa's kids. And you know, I mean, special Melania, Melania is out of control and it's not, it's not something to be proud of. Like that's, it's not something to be like, "Oh, my Melania," which again, not to fast forward too much to Game of Crowns, but same issue there with Isabella. - Whether or not you're a song, "L.O.L." ♪ L.O.L.L.L.L.L.L.L.♪ ♪ He's laughing now. ♪ - We got that. - That was the other day, I'm trying to find it. Olivia Hayes tweeted me the other day. Melania is awful, why doesn't Teresa discipline her? And I wrote back, you remember that Teresa's the one that flipped the table, right? Like, hello, what kind of discipline is she gonna give her? And she's also the one who is probably going to jail. - Yeah, I mean, she's the one who at the moment is making it seem like she's been victimized by humanity when she was a co-conspirator in a fraud case. Like, she doesn't know up from down, she doesn't know what proper behavior is. Like, she has no idea what is right and wrong. - Yeah, they're the worst. I can't wait to see Joe go to jail. - Yeah, and again, there was more of this episode where they were like, you know, what they're going through, what they're, you know, so to get to point number two of what was happening in this episode was that Amber's husband, who's name, I don't remember, his name is probably Joe also. He was invited out to a guy's night with like Vito and this other guy who's like one of the twins, boyfriends and Joe Grogan, Joe Judas and, you know, Rosie and the other one. And so this guy was like, no, I am not going out because A, those guys always get into fights with each other and I don't wanna be around that. And B, because I run a bank and I do mortgages and this guy has been indicted on mortgage fraud and I can't be associated with that. Like-- - Well, and even more specifically, he works with the DA. - Right, which is what comes out next week, right? - Well, he said that this week. - Oh, he did said this week. - Yeah, I mean-- - It's just in that he works with the DA. - Oh, yeah, you're right, the prosecutor. And you know what, he's 100% right. Like, someone here actually has a sense of like, of, I don't know what the word is. But, you know, but-- - Reality. - Not reality, but like-- - Decency. - Not standards. - There's morals. - Yeah, it's not even about morals, it's just like knowing-- - Professional standards? - Yeah. All of you both. But there's a lot of adjectives, or there's a lot of things we don't see on the show. - Yeah, so, yeah, so I mean, I'm totally on his side. So then, I think it's, is it Tereza's boyfriend or Nicole's boyfriend, whichever. He goes, and he tells when the Joe's are like-- - He starts shit. - Yeah, and when the Joe's like, "Hey, why isn't so much of it?" You could've been like, "Oh, well, he's sick," or he's, you know, whatever, like he's, he's tired. You couldn't make it, he had to business meeting whatever. He's like, "Oh, well, he didn't wanna be around you guys 'cause you guys are always fighting all the time." Which is like the worst thing to say. And then they're like, "Ah, he's a prick, he's a prick," whatever. So then, I believe this gets back to Melissa, right? - Yes, because-- - It gets back to Melissa, yes, because then she's like, she's like, "Well, I don't like that. "Like, here Amber says she wants to be my best friend "and then her husband's talking shit about my family." And then I was like, "Well, actually, your family, "if this is true, the Joe's do always fight "and they cause mayhem." And so, he's not talking shit. He's actually just being someone who wants to hang out with, like, polite society. - Oh, what? - Political society. - Political society. - Political society. - Political society. - No, I had, like, one of those weird, like, burps that came up as I was talking and I was like, (mimics burps) I think I had to, like-- - Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad. - Oh, well, you know Peter, he has burps all the time. Oh, well, you know. - Oh, well, you know Peter. - Oh, well, you know Peter. - He only burped because his brother was in an accident and he got so stressed out of the case of Cheetos. And then he made him burp. He was, "You know Peter, you know he didn't mean it. "He didn't mean it. "He didn't mean it." You know Peter, he like, you know, he doesn't own a bank but he likes to talk about the bank a lot so he can hang out with him either. He is like, "Oh, you know Peter." Like when he was a child, he used to, for his, to type letters. He would use Bank Street, Bank Street Pro, on his Apple II GS. So like, you know, he's not like a banker but he used a program that had bank in it. So like he can hang out with George and Wes. - Yeah, you know Peter used to play Monopoly and he didn't like the time when you could pass and go and get $200 because he was like, "Fuck that, I can go to the bank because I own Akasteel it. "I don't need not $200." You know, because he's like enterprising. - Oh, well you know Peter, he like, you know, he just saw a movie with like a list of banks in it. So it's like, you know, he really can't be hanging out with George and Wes, you know. - One time there was these people and they were making spray paint things on the street and they looked like different things and I was like, "Oh my God, that guy's called Banksy. "Oh my God, Peter's gonna love him." And like ever since then, Peter's like, "No, I can't look up Banksy "and then go hang out with George, he dies." I mean, I understand it too, you know. He's like an artist. - Yeah, like Peter's an artist and I don't know about that. - I like Banksy, so I can't hang out with George. So George, you dies. Okay, yeah, so they're in a store. First of all, Amber and these twins are fucking retards, both all three of them. Let's just get that out of the way now. Sorry to say retards, 'cause I know retards are usually really nice and probably listening to this show right now. - I can charge it. - Yeah, yeah. Sorry, you guys, I meant it in the comments. - And I did say fucktard earlier, so I apologize. - It's not even hard. - It's not even hard to different. I don't think that's a real thing. - 'Cause you love when people say, "That's not even in my vocabulary. "I don't even know why I said that." - It's like, yeah, you just said it. - I did so, yeah. - Yeah, actually, I just, a woman, I was with friends and a woman was going on around the other day and she's like, "I'm not racist, but the fucking Jews." I was like, "Yeah, well, that's," you know. - And that's the matter. - The racist, yeah. So anyway, so those girls are all nuts and they're all doing whatever they can to make drama. Amber has nothing going on yet and everything is like, "Ugh, what? "Oh my God, what?" - She needs to calm down, first of all, 'cause she's already furious and nothing's happened. - And she's a public figure. I mean, you can't just be in those commercials and then act like that. - Yeah, did you see that hair flip she did? Her famous hair flip? - Now. That's her line, sorry. - When's a good time to invest, now? - I love that when she's talking to Melissa. So she has this lunch with Melissa and she's like, "You know, I wanna get past a problem, "spot, you know, it really hurt me when you said "that you didn't know I had the cancer." I was like, "Oh my God, Melissa's like, "we just get past this, please." Like she wouldn't play into it, which was hilarious. But she's like, "So what's been going on with you? "What's been going on since we've seen each other?" And she's like, "Well, you know, I'm an actor now." - Yeah, I've done some commercials. I'm like, "Bitch, please." - I know, like Meryl Streep over here. - Yeah. - Meryl Streep with Bad Blush. - And a really bad green screen. She's like, "I've been doing some commercials." And you know, you know, this whole thing, those women livers, like, you know, I mean, I get it. You know, have a job outside the house. That's great. But, you know, it's just not for me. - Meanwhile, this is the same woman who on the season premiere said that, you know, some women try to find their success by, you know, the marriage route, like, Melissa. But I went to Columbia. No, well, you may have gone to Columbia, but you just said that you don't want a job. So, enough for them. - Yeah, and your success is through your husband route. He's putting you in commercials. - Yeah, exactly. - Over yourself, lady. - And then I love how she even brought the commercials thing back to Canada. She's like, "You know, I'm in commercials, but like, "you know, let's say this. "Let's say you had cancer. "You had cancer. "What would you do? "Would you follow the singing or would you go with your family?" And then she's like, "Well, my family, of course." And then she's like, "Yeah, so that's what I did. "I went with the family and, you know, "I gave a lot of acting opportunities." - Oh, my God. - So now the fact that she doesn't have an Oscar, it is because she chose her family when she had breast cancer. Like, who's gonna say, that's like the worst question. I hate people like that. Like, what are you gonna choose? Say this so I can talk about my cancer someone. - Oh, actually, I would choose my career. If I had breast cancer, I would get my ass out there and try and go on as many auditions as I can. Like, who's gonna say that? You fucking moron? Stop asking questions, Amber. You haven't got Amber on this show. - We know liking. - She even brought the hair flipping. She's like, "Oh, the hair flip is my signature thing." I mean, even when I was bald with a cancer, you know, I'd be like, "How am I gonna do a flip with it? "I don't have any hair because of the cancer." - Well, if she ever gets divorced, she can sue CoverGirl. - Yeah. Maybe she's born with it. - Yeah. - Maybe she's born with the cancer. - I know, that's what I was about to say. - Maybe it's cancerine. - Unlock your imagination with Audible. When you listen to audio content, your mind is free to paint the scenes and feel the emotions of a great story. - Audible's extensive catalog is sure to have titles that you'll enjoy, immerse yourself in captivating tales, learned from world-renowned experts and discover new perspectives all while multitasking or relaxing. - There's more to imagine when you listen and one title that I've been listening to is my friend Neil J. Young's coming out Republican, which talks about the history of gay Republicans. It's super fascinating and super interesting. - As an Audible member, you choose one title a month to keep from their entire catalog. - New members can try Audible free for 30 days. Visit audible.com/crapins or text crapins to 500-500. That's audible.com/crapins or text crapins to 500-500. This episode is sponsored by DoorDash. - We're back to tell you more about the latest dash pass annual plan benefit, streammax with ads included at no extra cost. - You know what's a great night for us? Ordering DoorDash and cuddling up to watch the max original hacks. - Which won best comedy, deservedly so, and we'd love tuning in to see not only icon Gene Smart, but the wonderful and incomparable Rose Abdu, who also is a huge Bravo fan. - Listen, I'm always in the mood for hacks, but you never know what kind of food I'm in the mood for. Sometimes it's pizza, sometimes it's a salad, and I can get both with DoorDash. - How about some ice cream? That's what I like to eat with my hacks. - 100% I will double dash. I will get a salad and then double dash some ice cream. Why not? - Sign up for a dash pass annual plan and get max included at no extra cost. - It's your door to more. Max has now included with your dash pass annual plan. Streammax with ads up to $120 value included at no extra cost. - Terms apply, see doorDash.com/maxfor details. - It's just Amber. We're making fun of Amber. We're not making fun of cancer. - Yeah, we're not making fun of cancer. Don't get all pissed off, everybody, okay? Unless you're the person who says that you had the cancer 20 times a day and you're feeling really offended right now, and you're like, these guys don't know what it's like to have breast cancer. Fuck them, I'm gonna go on Facebook and tell Ronnie to fuck off. Listen, if you're talking about it 10 times a day, you're the asshole here, all right? Let this be a warning to you. - Yeah, actually. Everyone in your life is annoyed with you. God saved you, thank the Lord, thank everybody and go help other survivors and shut the fuck up on reality TV. - You know, there actually once was a very funny episode of Andy Richard Controls the Universe where John Cryer played this supervisor in the little company and he had cancer or something like that. And all he did was use it to be like the worst boss ever. Like anytime, you make all these unreasonable requests, he's like, well, I have cancer. And you're like, ah, the whole episode was them trying to be like, maybe he doesn't have cancer. They're really trying to get it. And then finally you really have cancer. They're like, damn it. - That's like Michael J. Fox on any show he's on now. Okay, he got his own show and it's all about having Parkinson's. And he's a good wife. - By the way, same. And it's all about using Parkinson's. - Yeah. - But the difference is that he actually has it. And so it's like you can't, he does have it. And like there's no way to like ignore it because it's like at that state. So they have to address it. So I'm okay with it. - I'm also not obnoxious about it. He's really funny. They've made the whole thing and the good wife about it. He's like the biggest villain on the good wife. And he keeps screwing everybody over but then every time he gets called on it, he'll like twitch, but it'll be like, but it's my conditions. - See, that's good. That's funny. See, Amber's not like that. - Amber, okay. - Amber. - Watch a Michael J. Fox show and learn something. All right? - Right. So, but anyway, the point is this though. I just want to go back to one thing before we really dive into the Amber situation before we start talking about the good wife. (laughing) - Whatever. - I'll go there. - No, but, so the thing is that so Melissa gets mad that this guy, that Amber's husband is saying these things because she's like, you know, when, you know, we're like, you know, some, you know, our family's in a bad place and we're like, we're, we're huddling around, you know, we're, we're gathering around and, and we need to be there for, for each other, for family. And I'm kind of like, yeah, that's true. But like, don't forget the asshole who put you in that situation, you know? Like, they just, they keep on talking as if, as if they are, they've been brutalized. Like like Hurricane Sandy has actually come back and targeted the DJ home and torn it down. And now they've got a rally around them to rebuild. It's like, no, no, that's actually the exact opposite. It's, it's, it drives me nuts. It drives me nuts. - Yeah, that hurricane basically got you the money from a victim's family to buy your wife a really expensive purse. You're really in no place to complain about it. - Yeah, and then Dries is like, I don't want to have to move out of this house. (mumbles) - Oh, but yeah, that queen. Oh, good Lord. That queen who was a psychic. Oh, Jim's Vander Pock. - And here's what, here's what I finally figured it out while I was watching this guy. I'm like, am I homophobic? What is it about these Bravo queens that pisses me up? I think the thing that makes me mad is they're so obsessed with the ladies fame on these shows. I think that that's what gets me more than anything. 'Cause they're so girly and they're like, oh, someone on TV, oh girl, let's talk about your future girls. Like shut up. Like he wore his best, like go round best for this. Get out of here. (laughs) - Go round best. - Didn't James Vander Pock have some sort of like, like legitimate career as a psychic? Does he have a TV show or something? - His name, it was very familiar and I was about to Google him and then I was like, Ronnie, don't. - But now I'm doing it. - Yeah. - What's his name? - Like James Vander Prog, we're like two A's. It's like very, very, it sounds like it's from the, it sounds like it's from like the Benalux countries. - Oh God, and his like died mustache and his bad rug. - He looks like, what's his face? What's the name of that guy who throws the confetti? (laughs) You know him. - Ooh girl, I'm sorry I'm not answering but I'm just clicking on a video because there's a video when you look it up, it's really old, sorry, I'm new to the world. This is from 2008, but it's called Barbara Walters Exposes, James Van Prog, fraudster! - Huh, what are the odds? - Can you believe there are still idiots who believe this crap? That's what it says. And then the first comment is, I hope you're burning in hell, Sylvia Brown, you're fraud, Van Prog and Edward's next, I hope. Oh, YouTube commenters. So anyway, sorry, little detour, but yeah, he's gross. - I wouldn't, yeah, he's gross. And Teresa's in there crying, you know, I don't know, it's just like, you know, I really hate this sympathetic edit that they're getting. But anyway, so back to Amber. So meanwhile, when Amber and Melissa were hanging out, they're talking about, you know, whatever, the twins and Amber's like, yeah, well, so-and-so has been divorced for like, you know, for a long time, long, long, long time. And you know, I heard that she, maybe she was the one who broke up the family, you know? Which- - Okay, I was gonna ask you about that 'cause I've rewound it three times and I could not understand what they were saying. And I was gonna rewind it again. I was like, get a life, you're a grown man. - Yeah, no, she- - She'd say no, she said she's the one who broke up the family, meaning her own family. - Yeah, her own family. - She wasn't saying she wrecked someone else's family, right? - The statement was very open. Like it did, it sort of implied that she was the one who cheated, but it also implied that maybe she was the one who asked for the divorce. Like it could have gone in any different way. She probably shouldn't have said it. It was a very gossipy moment. She probably shouldn't have said it. But of course, Melissa then goes to the twins and she's like, well, Amber said that Nicole or Teresex, I can't remember, broke up a family. Which sounds actually also way more malicious than what Amber said. But even though Amber was maliciously, like remembering Melissa then took it and made it 10 times worse. - Yeah. - And then the twins were like, oh my God, we have to get out of here. Let's get some gas for the car. We gotta go, we gotta go with drive. Let's drive over there. - Come right now. I'm leaving my jeans in my t-shirt here. Pack 'em up for me. We gotta go, we gotta go. Cut the tag off this, cut the tag. You suck off my credit card on file. - Get me my Dunkin' Donuts coffee. - Honey, come fill up the gas. We're in a hurry, it's an emergency. - I can't breathe, I can't breathe. - Torezza, Torezza, have I ever said these things before to you, Torezza? Have I ever said this? I'm gonna scream, I'm gonna scream. - Oh, you're both awful. Shut up. - Get my kulata, I'm gonna tell my kulata at her. - Oh, my kulata. (laughing) - She's sipping a big giant kulata the entire time and Dunkin' Donuts kulata. (laughing) You know, that's why they didn't even want their daughters. Like, and it's my daughter, kulata. - I'm used to protein for this fight. - Get me a yogurt. - Hurry, honey, run, run, run, honey. - I see Isabella in the window, thank God, it's a sign. It's a sign, it means that I'm not supposed to confront her here at their home, I'm supposed to confront her with all the friends at the party. - So we're giving her a weird, like, Thursday box. - 'Cause these bitches are all ready to rumble, right? So, Arember and the twins are ready to fight at the drop of a hat, they've been trying to start shit with Teresa and Melissa and no one's biting, okay? So now they're just like, oh, we can go at each other and now they're gonna be hating on each other the rest of the time and we're never gonna hear them stop yelling. They're gonna be yelling from now until episode 37, which you know they're gonna have up this year. - Yeah, yeah. I mean, while Dino is basically like, controlling Lexi 'cause Lexi didn't get into NYU. Oh, well. - John. - Why? - But why? - Why, mom? Why? - Yeah, what did James Bond Prague have to say about that one? - He's like, she's gonna get into some institution there on psychic. - He's like, I'll tell you this much. I don't know where that little bitch is going to school, but this new mustache dye is really giving me a head rush. Okay? That's what I'm predicting. - I still can't think of the guy, rip, rip. - Oh, rip torn. - Rip torn. - No, no, no, no, not rip torn, it's rip. - Rip and winkle. - No, let's say the guy, confetti gay guy. That's why you go search? - Oh, the guy from Hollywood Square. - Rip Taylor, Rip Taylor. - Rip, you know what, I have a confession to make. I always thought it was rip torn, and rip torn is actually a legit actor, and whenever I see him, I'm like, wow, he can really putch it up. - I'm sorry for the long time that these two are the same. - First of all, rip torn is dead, I believe. - Well, rip Taylor, King of confetti can't be far behind. I mean, Jesus Christ, I'm looking at him right now. - Oh, wait, rip torn, I think it's still alive. - Yeah, stop spreading rumors, Jesus. Guess we're also still alive, Morgan Freeman, and he's still putting me to sleep in movies. I saw Lucy the other day, he's like, "The human species, 20 million years in the making." - Shut up, dude, get some energy in your voice. I'm going to sleep. - I can't believe you saw this thing. - What's happening to jurors? - That's because I think we covered all the-- - Oh, I wanted to say about this, that it is the real housewives of Jersey, I get it, but this shows, I think one of the things that sets the show apart from the others is that this show really is heavy on husband material. - Yeah, yeah. - And I am starting to think they did not cast Amber because she's entertaining, 'cause she's one of the worst human beings I've ever seen with no redeeming qualities so far, except that she can squirt babies out of her womb, which is apparently like a huge deal to her. But I think they cast her because her husband works for the DA that's probably going to prosecute Joe. - That's fine, that was for me. - They're sickos, I mean, those producers are sick bastards and I love it, nice job, nice job. - It works for me. - It works for me, I mean, look, why they cast Melissa? It's because Joe and Teresa had an issue, so. - Yeah, yeah, so good for the, I love, what was Melissa talking about her job being before she found Joe, it was something ridiculous. - Stripper? - She didn't mention that, but it was something, it was something entertained, I don't know, I don't know if I'm even remembering her, I'm just going to let that withdraw. - Sounds like you're misremembering. - I don't, I truly, my heart of hearts, this is, it came across now. - I truly believed in my heart of hearts that I think did nothing, I didn't ever say that. - Oh my God, your Suzanne impersonation is the best. - And then the husband's like, well, yeah, so you know what I'm saying, Stans, 'cause I believe in my how to hat, that, you know, she said that, right? - I'm like, oh my God. - That's a very serious allegation, because I could lose my job over that. - Yeah, 'cause that's what you said, use, use guys. - I'm like, oh my God, he still says use guys, no. - Use, he's hot though, right? - He's not as hot, not as hot as the other, like the personal trainer husband. - I know, I want those two to make out. - Yeah, so okay, so let's talk about Game of Thrones. So now we only watched the first episode because, you know, I love the show, but I just didn't have time to watch the second episode, so I'm going to probably watch that later today. But we can talk about the first episode. - I had a lot of negativity in my life this week, and I turned it on the other day, and I was like, I'm drawing the line. And actually, it's because it was after Real House was in Jersey, and there was, like, literally, I mean, granted, I had a little medical stuff flowing through my veins, but I was watching Jersey, and I was like, feeling all this self-hatred flow over me, which really, I guess probably has to do with my own self-hatred, 'cause that was what I was feeling. - That's huge. - It feels like that was just, like, you know, throwing gasoline on the fire. It was like making me hate myself more. I'm like, what am I doing with my life? I can't do this, these people are horrible! - And it's like, Game of Thrones, duh, duh, duh, duh. I was like, no, drawing the line. But I did watch the first episode with you, or not with you, but like you, Ben. - Well, I love Game of Thrones. I think it's the funniest shit on TV. And honestly, to get back to the LOL thing, when Suzanne mentions that Isabella is gonna be performing out a fashion show to sing, you know, her new song, LOL. I mean, this could have been Jennifer Coolidge in a Christopher Gats movie. I mean, that was an LOL moment. I actually paused the TV, and I laughed. I was like, I pretended as if I had a friend. I pretended like either you or Michelle Collins was next to me, and I was like, no! And there was no one. It was like a pillow. I was like, this show is my everything. And then when we get to this fashion show that Isabella is the star of, we've seen a lot of bad fashion shows. We've seen a lot of real ghetto, cheap-ass fashion shows. I mean, anything that's on marriage medicine, or Real Housewives of Atlanta, or the New Atlanta, anything from Atlanta, basically, we've seen it all. We've seen the worst of the worst in this. This was a new level. This was like-- - I mean, this even took the cake from the almost cancer fashion show. - Yeah, this was like-- It was basically, you know, a bunch of adolescent girls, which is fine. They look like they were having a great time, and to them, it was like best. Yeah, I mean, but it wasn't the fact that it was a bunch of little girls, 'cause they were playing dress up, and they were having the time of their lives. I was happy for them. But it was just in this, like, janky-- you know, it was like a community house, you know? Like, it's one of those things where there's normal, like, little dances for six graders. - Well, you have to, like, go in and sign up on the legal pad for your party time? - Yeah, exactly. You know that's clearly where this was. And the fact that Suzanne was saying there's, like, models gonna be there from New York or whatever, and it was just a bunch of, like, mommies sitting around. - It's like, well, you know. It's about as the biggest model in New York. Like, she's got a huge modeling career in New York. - Like, what is she modeling? - She's so crazy. - Oh my goodness. And the girl, I mean, okay, now here's the other thing, yeah. This is gonna be a little dicey, 'cause Isabella is one, like, six years old or something. So, far, be it for me to make fun of someone who's under 18, a minor. - If you like, you can text it to me, and I'll say it. - No, no, but here's the thing, though. If you're gonna start bragging about how your daughter's a model, I'll just do that. Like, the most playway I can say this is that Isabella, to me, does not strike me as one who is really in model shape. - Maybe she's selling popsicles, who knows? - She's a popsicle model. She's a creamsicle model. She's a kulata model. - Buy one kulata and get one free from Bella. - Yeah, maybe it's like a slurpy thing. Who knows? Like, with kids, it could be anything. Maybe she's modeling her own bracelets that she's selling out of the back of her mom's van. Who the fuck knows? But you gotta love Vanessa. She's like, well, you know, my daughter has like a multi-million dollar jewelry industry. - Suzanne, Suzanne. - Suzanne, yeah. - My daughter has a multi-million dollar jewelry industry. She's a tap model in New York. She's one of the piece. - Oh my God. You know what just popped up on my screen? I love when shit like this happens during watching crappings. I just got a notification that Mark Twain is following me. She's like, I hear you're being very witty. - I feel that you're calling an eight year old a popsicle model. That's totally great American literature. I'm in. - Yeah. - Keep it coming, buddy. - I do like it. - I do love though. That's Suzanne calls Isabella. Like she has like a multi-million dollar jewelry line when like, clearly it's just that like, there's a family jewelry line. And Isabella will be like the heir to it at someday. But now all of a sudden she has it. She's like, you know, you can imagine like if Isabella, God forbid Isabella would play like Sin City. She'd be like, wow, she's the man of a city now. - I'm like, is it a doing crime? She's a great man, yeah. (laughing) - It's like a little statue of her like sticking out her stomach and like having a lollipop in the town square. But no, I think it's like legitimately her jewelry company because she was a D-list famous from Todd Lewis and Tiara's. I mean, she was on that show like three times. So she start, her mom started the house wise product, you know? - Right. - So yeah, I think she has a real company which makes it even more hilarious. Either way, it's very LOL. - The best part of that was when she's practicing LOL and she's coming down the runway. And the song is playing with obviously auto tune. It's like, yeah. ♪ LOL, LOL, LOL ♪ - Isabella's like ♪ LOL, LOL, LOL, LOL, LOL ♪ - She made Kim's, ♪ LOL, LOL ♪ - It's like, oh my God, it sounds like direction. - She made Kim's "Oziex" sound like Beverly's "Sills". (laughing) But the thing is that this girl also, before that we saw that she was at a tea party at Lin, was it Lin, Lin, Lin? What's her name? Yeah, Lin. - Is her name. - Lindiamante. - Wait, what's her name? - Lindiamante, which is like the funniest name ever. - Lindiamante. Like she sounds like, well, I was gonna say she sounds like she should be selling sunglasses and that's exactly what she does. But the thing is, so Bella was like the Melania of this tea party. And she was sticking her face in like sugar and everything. And Shelly's daughters are like, perfect. And they are like, well-mannered. And they're like, maybe you should stop licking the centerpiece. (laughing) It was like this girl. - Can you please stop putting your tongue in the sugar? - Yeah, she was disaster. - And Vanessa's like, ♪ Yeah, that's my daughter ♪ ♪ Whatever she does, she's hilarious ♪ ♪ She just says, she is, I don't care ♪ - Yeah, I know what, I love that Suzanne's like, yeah, when she walks into, when she walks into someone's house, she doesn't care who's house. And she just makes us a little bit home. She just sort of on the areas like that. - I'm like, no, that's actually rude. - Yeah, actually, I've said it on the show many times as the great Bernie Mack once said, "America, beat your children." There is no reason not to beat your children. My sister's daughter is like beating her. She's like beating her up. She's like tripping her. She's calling her names. She's being awful. I'm like, well, are you beating her yet? And she's like, no, that's abuse. I'm like, well, then deal with a brat. Good luck. And if you want any more proof, I will see you this episode of Game of Crowns. ♪ Aloha, aloha, aloha, aloha ♪ ♪ Look who's laughing now ♪ - And that's, by the way, that's what's also funny is that this girl, this little girl has this song that's like, all the haters out there basically. But I'm like, what is she talking about? - Like, hates her, she's adorable. Why would she have haters? - Her mother's about, her mother must have a ton of them now. - Oh, yeah. - 'Cause her mother's loco and she's lies. She's such a liar and she's on camera doing it. Like, lady, you don't think people are gonna see you lying? - Well, why don't we get to the heart of this episode? 'Cause we were just focusing on, though. And there was so much more that happened. It was basically like a big old-- - I know we're making fun of a child, I get it, but God, I love that child. I loved her on toddlers and Tiaras. I love her now. I'm gonna look up her jewelry and I'm gonna buy me a bolo tie, yo. (laughing) I love that kid. - So, okay, so I think what happened, there's a huge game of telephone because as you remember last week, all the women sat down with Leha and were like, "Oh, yeah, your husband's out of control." And then Lynn's like, "Yeah, well, Suzanne said." - "Yeah, and he tried to kill. "Lins like, trying to kill Lynn." - And then Lynn's like, "Yeah, no, he said it to me "with her Botox lips, you know, about to fall off." So then Vanessa went and hung out with Leha. And by the way, Ron and I are very proud to announce that Vanessa is following us on Twitter. - Oh my God, we're very proud to announce that we will probably have her on the show soon. - Oh my God, I cannot wait. - We can get that whole cast on the show, but I'm not sure because I was telling the producer, I was like, "You know that we make fun of them "when we call to Vanessa 100 footer "and I'm from Spacer, right?" - And I said she looks like China. (laughing) - But she's hilarious. - I wrote back, "Hey, we love your recaps "and that girl who writes a recaps is just as mean as me." So I'm like, "All right, thanks for having a good "sense of humor about it." - Yeah, I hope we get Vanessa on it. So anyway, so Vanessa meets up with Leha, 'cause Leha's getting ready for another pageant. What is it, like Mrs. like, it's like Mrs. Mulberry Lane. I don't know, they've got a pageant for everything, but Vanessa basically says to Leha, "You know, I never heard Nick threaten Lynn's life." And so then Leha then goes and then think, oh, and then Vanessa goes, and on top of that, by the way, Suzanne was basically saying that Nick beats you. (laughing) Vanessa just throws that in, 'cause why not? So then Leha goes and has dinner with, Leha and Nick have dinner with Suzanne and her husband. It's like the big, it's the big meeting of the minds, and Suzanne gets to be like, "Well, we're a pageant, so we can have dinner. "We're gonna have dinner and sell it all out." (laughing) Whatever. (laughing) And they kind of like-- - I love how all of these began, first of all. Like the meeting between Vanessa and Manface was like, "Hi, hi, oh, ooh, do you want a muffin "after you just lost 500 pounds, are you sure?" I've got some chocolate croissants too, girl. Okay, let's sit down. (laughing) Her husband's abusive, and everybody knows it. (laughing) Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, ladies. It's so junior league, you guys. I mean, I don't know how many of our listeners are in the junior league, but I grew up with my mother in it, and that's so, all they were missing was a box of Francia. (laughing) And then the next one was Lynn talking to, who is Lynn talking to? - No. Well, I think Lynn was talking to Shelly. - The whole time she was talking to her. - Lynn's always pounding. Well, it's 'cause so what happens is this. So there's this, there is this dinner, and then it comes out then, so Leah tells Suzanne, that she heard that she was spreading rumors about her being abusive, and Suzanne's like, "I never said that." And then they kind of talked about it, they kind of made a little bit of a piece, right? It wasn't as explosive as we thought it would be, right? And then Leah decides that Lynn is the one making up all the rumors, so. - We have to mention that during that dinner, crazy abuse of husband, which he probably is abusive, was sitting there being a dick the whole time, like, "Well, that's what we heard that you said, "use guys has been saying the blah." And that's what I knows, and then he's like, twirling a steak knife, like threateningly, and even Susanna, who's never scared of anything, looked like a little terrifying to well with a pound, she's like, "Ah, but, ah, but, ah, you know, "maybe something came out that I don't remember, "but I swear to God what my memory is, I'll rule out." He's like, "Yeah, yeah, nice memory, yeah." And the guy's like, "Uh, you know, we're Italian, "and you know, we get heated, we say things, ugh." - Yeah, I love that she's like, "Well, you know, "my husband may seem like he's a big old teddy bear, "but no one messes with his woman, you better watch out." - And then they show, then they show him, and he's just like eating all the breadsticks. He's like, "Yeah, we all get angry, we're Italians. "Can I get some more olive oil from this? "You got butter?" (laughing) - Jesus, it's a little sweating all over the table. - I know. So then anyway, so then Leah goes and meets with, with Lynn Dimante. - And I really would appreciate if you pronounced her name properly, it's la ha, la ha, la ha, la ha. So, and then it's just hilarious because then, again, they hash out everything. And so then Lynn, you know, the circle of pointing fingers continues because then it's like, "Well, just so you know, "like everyone was calling you a 40 footer, "and they were saying this, they said you wouldn't place, "and you wouldn't do this, and you wouldn't do that." I should just basically like, tears Leah apart, but all under the guise of saying what other people said. (laughing) So we get like, leaves there and tears, and Lynn's just sitting there. - That was so mean, that's what kills me about this one, that I'm not really totally on board, like. - Oh, they are the meanest. - And then what's their mean? I get that they're awful on all these shows, I get it. But this one, they're like, you're ugly. Like who, let's just. - No, this is, this is the meanest of all the shows, and it's also the funniest though too. 'Cause I mean, look, Leah's not innocent. Leah's also nasty about these women, but I mean, Lynn-- - I mean, you didn't mean that, but I don't remember ever seeing that part. Like when I-- - She had a lot of past, I remember in the first episode, she had a lot of past aggressive digs, 'cause I was watching it with Michelle, and every time, there were a few times when Leah said things during interviews, and we paused, and looked at each other like this bitch, and then we resumed. (laughs) Great story. - Okay, well, I would say I would watch it again, but it hurts my feelings to watch this show. That said, I will watch the second episode, and I will also watch next week's, because I was like, I'm not watching this show, we're cutting it off the line. If this-- - No. - That I only have so many hours a week, and then I watched it, I was like, I laughed out loud like five times. - No, no, this show, if anything, it should be the show that we start with, because it's my favorite show on Bravo right now. All of OC is really good too. OC is, I don't know, they're both great to me. - I'm sorry, I'm looking for batteries in my trackpad, starring you guys, what am I gonna do? But I did wanna ask you, there's been a lot of discussion online, like since I got rid of my cable, I don't know what's on TV anymore, which is crazy, 'cause I never watched commercials anyway, but I guess I would see stuff as I was fast forwarding, and I don't know what the frick is on TV. Bravo doesn't even announce it, they just like put it on. So, is below deck back? - It's coming back in like two weeks, and also Bravo is airing, the Real House has a Melbourne now. - Oh, Lord. - But we're not gonna cover it just too much, we can't cover it, but I may watch it 'cause it does look hilarious, but-- - I heard it's really good. - All right, so maybe we'll watch it. I don't know, I don't know if we'll cover it, there's just too much. - I think we can actually watch those on YouTube, so that'll make it easier for me to be on board. But, I mean, if we're gonna do below deck two, yeah, that's too much. - No, I think we have to-- - I need something with men being mean to each other, 'cause this women thing, I'm like, come on women, I can honestly-- - Oh, give me the kind of side of a giant I'd punch myself in at this point. Like, let's get it together and be nicer. Like, I don't say like we all have to be bra burning and stuff like that, but God, it's like, let's get, I just wanna like lead women to band together and like demolish men, like they fucking deserve, you know? Stop taking everybody's crap, and you gotta stop giving each other crap first, guys. It's like being in a gay bar, you know? Like, why can't we be nicer to each other too gay people? That's it, I'm giving up my life now and I'm gonna do something for other people. I'm gonna band gays and women together, bye. - And that's the perfect segue to go into the Real Housewives of New York reunion. - Oh, okay, I can totally wait to be a good person 'til later. (laughing) So another one, didn't do well in the ratings. We've already discussed that, still very upset 'cause this was one of the most entertaining seasons and I hate New York. - So good. - I've never liked a season of New York until this one because normally it stresses me out and they're so mean, but this one, I loved it. I thought it was so funny the whole way through. I love, love, loved it. - Yeah, I was a big fan. I mean, I think the season slowed down a little bit towards the end, but great season. And also, highly entertaining reunion. I don't know where to start. 'Cause I actually, I watched it just before this podcast and I can't even remember any of it 'cause it was so much. - Okay, I'll just start it like Andy starts every reunion. - Hi, Luann. - Hi. - Hi, Kristen, new boobs. - Hi, Kristen. Oh, plastic surgery, boobs. Look at your new boobs. - It's such an asshole. - Hi, yeah. He's so high Ramona. - Hi, Andy. - Hi, Andy. - Oh, he's awful. And then I love that Heather's like in her urban speak. It's like-- - Hi, Anne. - Hi, Anne. What you thinking about? - Hi, Anne, mama. - I find it laughable that you would say hi to me. (laughing) I find it laughable. Motherfucker. (laughing) Hey, mama. - Hey, mama. - I find it laughable that you would say, "Hey, mama, back to me." - Yeah, and I love, yeah, that they started off with the boobs and that she's like, "Oh, yeah, they're from my husband." - Oh, gosh. "Your ugly husband who complains about your pooch on national TV." Well, that's just working out for you. - And she's like, "A lot of women thought that your tagline was disrespectful." She's like, "No, it's just a joke." 'Cause I'm like, "Shut up, Kristen." You know what, Kristen, I really liked you in the beginning of the season. And I still actually do like you, but you just, just for once say, "Yeah, you know what, it probably wasn't the smartest tagline." It probably was, it does kind of demean me now that I think about it. - Well, she's ridiculous. And I love that the whole Josh billboard thing. Have you seen the billboard? Did we talk about this last week? - I think I was thinking her finger in her mouth. I'm like, "Who does that?" - I don't even know what your boost is. By the way, they talk so much about your boost. I still don't even know what it is. - It's like an energy thing. - Sorry, I'm sorry. You know what, that's bad marketing. You know what, you know what? If you, what you should do, you should put a big letter E and you should put it on a booster chair. Then you know, okay, it's E-boost. You know what it does? - It's a, it's a booster chair that baby's sitting that's connected to the internet. So when it's time for them to go poop, you know, you know what's happening. - Sorry. - E-boost, natural energy, green tea, vitamins, E-boost, the most loved energy supplement, now in four delicious flavors. Super berry, orange, pink lemonade, and my wife's the C word. - Yeah. (laughing) - Yeah, so that's E-boost. - I don't know why the poster was her with her finger in the mouth, but it really doesn't make me want to drink it. - No, I don't like any of that shit anyway. - Yeah, it's awful. - The only boost I need is cocaine. - Just kidding. - Amen brother, a little meth goes a long way. Who needs teeth? Half the, half the work in this town is done with your gums anyway. - Yeah. - If you give me some meth, get thin over here. - So, first of all, I was very happy that Luann was on the couch. I mean, it's so funny that she's not an official cast member, and it's funny that Sonya's hurled that in her face, because Luann is so obviously a cast member. I mean, she was on the couch the entire time. Featured players or friends of, usually they come out on the couch for a little bit, then they go away, but Luann's been, was there the whole time? - Yeah, it's fucking Luann. - It better make her a cast member again next season. - Oh my God. - Luann was killing it this reunion. She was killing it. - Can I ask you a question that has nothing to do with housewives? I'm so sorry. - Yeah, it's okay. - And it's important. - Okay, you know how I just write a scooter now? There is a lease transfer for a smart car, and it's only $144 a month. Should I do it or not? - Well, a smart car. I mean, do I even need a car? - Here's the thing, you are always changing vehicles, so you're gonna do it regardless of what I say. - No, I don't know, and I'll listen to you. You tell me. - So here's the thing with the scooter. I think scooters are dangerous, so I don't think you should be in one, but you did look adorable on it, and you seem to be really enjoying it. - I love it. Well, I'm keeping the scooter, but I guess I just still need it, right? - Well, you know, have you been to the rainy season yet? - Oh wait, $1,200 do it transfer. Never mind, okay, that's all. Okay, let's get back to talking about the smart car. - That's so smart car. - So yeah, not so smart, right? Smart cars, stupid driver. Also, that's even gayer than my Fiat, the smart car. - You know, you can do Ronnie, you can come over, and we can play Grand Theft Auto V, and there's a smart car that you can drive in that, and that will take care of that. - I'm too lazy to play that game. - Oh, I would love to watch the play that game. I think it'd be hilarious. - I'm too lazy to even get out of the car. - No, you can take a cab. - The hookers I just ran over. - You can take a cab in the game. If you want to get somewhere quickly, you can hail a cab and just have it take you someplace. - Oh, okay, I like that. - Yeah. - Okay, so, hi Anne. - Okay, what did I write? New boobs to offset her pooch for her ugly husband. Oh, Carol's ass. Okay, let's talk about not only Carol's ass, but Carol. - Okay. - Carol looks like when the end of September hits Whole Foods. All those pumpkins piled up on top of each other outside with some corn glued to the tops. What the fuck, Carol? - Ah, you know, oddly enough, I remember the rumors were saying that Carol looked crazy. I didn't mind the way she looked, to be honest. - She looks like one of the skin suits from Silence of the Lambs. (laughing) - She looked like an old drag queen trying to dress like 1990s, Jennifer Aniston. - Her face looked like it was drawn on a piece of cardboard cutout and put on a chicken neck. What the fuck, okay, look. First of all, I didn't think her face actually looked that bad. It was, I think maybe the makeup and the neck. I don't know. It feels better, Andy, talking about everybody's plastic surgery 'cause it's gross and I actually like Carol, but that was just not a good look. Maybe it's a blonde hair. I don't know what it is, but I was like, no, it's like when you're rooting for LeBron James and then he's just like walking down the field. Like, it was just a game, man. - I don't understand this concept of rooting for LeBron James. - I don't either, but-- - That was a sports reference to show that I don't like LeBron James. - It's because I was working for a little while at a place with a lot of TVs. And so I saw a lot of sports things and I'm still horrified by them. Like stadium football, what the fuck? - That was a thing. - Yeah, there's this new kind of soccer where people wear big bubbles and they just run at each other and bump into each other. That's a thing now. - Can I tell you something? Okay, this is a side note. This is another tangent about sports watching in gays. So as you know, I actually do enjoy watching certain sports and-- - Later sports, well-- - Later sports, hey. So one time, one time I was walking down the street and there's this guy who has a very prominent gay sports blog and he was with a friend of mine. And so I was trying to make-- and every time I met him, I always thought he was like not the best. And so one time I was so weird, we stopped, we started talking and I tried to make chitchat and I thought I would like connect with him in a certain way. And so I mentioned about there's a wide receiver on the Giants named Victor Cruz, who I think is very attractive. And I'm like, I made some references like, well, not as hot as Victor Cruz or like an am I right moment. And this guy who runs the sports blog, the gay sports blog, which is all about accepting that gays like sports. He goes, Victor Cruz? I'm like, you know, I'm a New York Giants. He goes, he's like, no, I don't know who that is, but why would you know who that is? And I was like, fuck you. I'm like, I don't know why I'm telling the story, but I just felt like it had to be like put out there. Like the person who was like, has a blog about like accepting that gays are not just like-- - Oh my God, because the most gay hating people are other gay people. Like listening to their podcast, all we do is rag on gay people. Every time a gay person comes on our TV, we're like, ew, gross, man. - Well, 'cause they are all-- - I mean, what the frick? - But I mean, isn't that crazy that the guy who runs a site that's all about casting gays in a different light, like then refuses to use, he suddenly is like, well, why would you know who that is? I was like, who is the most offensive thing I've ever heard from a gay person? - Yeah, when I came out as gay, I was so excited to be part of the gay community. And then I realized they're also human beings who my hate. So I'm really on the fence. - Yeah. - The whole thing. - Yeah, exactly. - I think my hatred for humanity overtakes my love for gays. Like, the hatred wins. Sorry, I'm trying to be more positive. I'll let an abundance candle. - So anyway-- - More fucking used smart car, Jesus. That car's okay, it's gonna suck a dick while I drive down the street, it's gonna crash. - I love that you just said, I'm gonna let an abundance candle. Let's talk about Sonya for a second. Okay, so Sonya was, I mean, she is so delusional. And in fact, when Andy was finally someone compared her to Grey Gardens. And she's like, well, you know, those women were like very sweet and very nice, whatever. And then the man's like, they were mentally ill. It's perfect. - This reunion had me dying. I was howling at this because they were all being so funny. First of all, Sonya is so cute. Like, I don't look at Sonya as, like, she's local, okay? She's local, but I don't look at her as being evil. Like the rest of them are just pretty much evil, right? Well, Carol, I don't think is evil. Most housewives are evil, right? They get to be evil. - Right. - I don't think Sonya's evil at all. I just think she's weirdo, you know? - Yeah, no, she's just crazy. She's delusional. - And having Andy like actually try to make her name what business she had was killing me. 'Cause every time he did it, she's like, well, you know, I'm a lifestyle guru. He's like, what? When did that happen? She's like, well, I find homes for rich people. They're like, yeah, that's a real estate broker. And she's like, well, but did you flip a house for $100,000? They're like, what? Like, what do you, nothing connects? It's just like, you know, clearly she throws that. - Well, clearly, she probably has some friends and friends like, oh yeah, I'm gonna get this apartment. Wanna come look it out, look at it with me? She's like, sure, she probably goes along. She's like, oh yeah, this is nice. I like the windows here. And then all of a sudden, she's a lifestyle guru because she's like lent her opinion to something. - Oh my gosh, she's so crazy, I love it. - Beyond crazy, and then we start with her investments. - I'm used to living off of my investments because when I was younger and I was a model, I would take all of that money and then I would invest it. And so managing all of my employees, like the financial advisors, the lawyers, the judges. - The judges, like even Andy was like, they're not your employee, or Luann, especially like, those aren't your employees. - Well, especially the judge. - I know, that was the craziest part. When you said the judge, but I love to have like, as she's like listing all the things that she's done. Like at any given time, various people would like quietly monitor the other one being like, I never heard of her as she was a model, or I thought she was in San Pietro when she met her husband. I thought she was like, wait, what, what? - 'Cause they were even worse. They were like, I thought she was a host, is it? - Yeah, even like the cameramen were like, what, I thought that she lived in upstate New York. - She's so crazy. And I love her trying to explain her 40 employees thing. And she's like, well, you know, I've got the, I've got an esthetician, a face person, and a pickle, and Andy's like pickles, so like, yeah. - And she's like, and we don't have hot water because it's an old house, and the pipes have to be redone, and that is, I was like, I-- - Didn't they just show you saying you can't afford it? Like, it's too expensive, so you don't have it. She knows that's the pipes. - Like, how does she not have hot water? I mean, that's just, I mean, she's gotta get out. - If anybody needs hot water, it's Sonya. I mean, unless she's like, taking that money that she would have been spending it and bought a bunch of hydrogen peroxide to shove up her coots. - She needs hot water. - She does, and some bleach. - Yeah. She knows also funny with that. - It's whisper. - You know, it was funny too, is that when they asked her about what the sex was like with that 22-year-old, I mean, she obviously did not have sex with him, and she was trying to like, squirm at it. She's like, well, you know, I don't talk about that. You know, let's just say he's a good dancer. I'm like, you're not answering. Like, you clearly never had sex with him, and he was clearly there just to be on TV. - Which one was the 23-year-old? Oh, the one that Ramona told his mother-- - Shoot whatever. - Yeah. - Yeah, that kid was probably just trying to be an intern. - Yeah. - Poor Sonya, but yeah, she took a lot, and I mean, I think Sonya's so nice, and the ladies were really mean to her. I guess 'cause Luann's gotta bug up her ass. Like, who cares if she likes Ramona more than you? Like, what are you, 12? - Well, it's the same thing. You know, you have to also wonder, you know, they're also also mad at Aviva for not going on this trip, but having at them actually would've wanted Aviva to be there. They're so mad. But do any of them want that? Like, who would want Aviva there? - I don't even think they're mad that she wasn't there. They're just calling her out on her lies. They don't want her there. They're just calling her out on it 'cause she's such a freaking liar about it. - Oh my God. And she wouldn't even like, you know, she wouldn't admit that she's being hypocritical by saying shut the fuck up in front of the kids after she had told, after she had just told, what's her face, Kristen to keep it PG. I mean, she couldn't even admit to that on the reunion. I mean, it's the smallest thing. She couldn't even admit to it. - Yeah. - She's, she's full of shit, but hilarious. - Oh my God, she's, I mean, totally hilarious. - That had me on the floor, like a zillion times during this. Her lies were hilarious, her reactions to everything. The fact that the editors just kept throwing in her face in the beginning, it was like every other shot was Aviva making a roll-wise face or like incredulous face. So funny. I really hope she's back next year. I doubt she will be, but I really hope she, well, maybe none of them will be, he knows, but. - Yeah. - I love that Ramona, when it, when it came to the fight, in Montana with Ramona and Kristen and Ramona threw the glass at her, she's like, I did not throw a glass. It was plastic, it wasn't glass. And I thought, we're gonna do it for that. - It's just like, and then Heather's like, well, when you do this, she's like, no, she's like, please don't use that word. Please don't use that word. You know what, it wasn't glass, it was plastic. And Heather's like, well, what am I supposed to call it? It's a plastic, what? She's like, glass, but don't say glass. - She's like, it's a plastic-shaped glass. - You know what? - I wrote it down, I was like, what? - Plastic-shaped glass. - Yeah, a glass-shaped plastic, what the fuck? Okay, Ramona, thanks. And what was the thing with Ramona where she started going on this tangent of, I knows, she was going, I know, I can have a big mouth. I know, sometimes I can say things that have been people. I know, sometimes this, I know, sometimes I bring outside, there's no umbrellas. - I know. - I know. - Oh, Kelty, I know. - I'm sorry, turtle time just means I'm having good time, okay, I know I'm unfiltered, okay, but you know what? My father was unfiltered too, and I'm sorry, I have to be unfiltered as well. I can't help it because that's the way my father is. - I know I can't ever film an Italian restaurant. I know that my father threw spaghetti at my mother's head. I know that it traumatized me. I know that if we were doing this outdoors right now, with there were trees, I would be crying right now. Okay, okay. I know that I could be doing something like making a man's with Geraldine Parsons Smith. I know, but I'm not, okay? I can't think about my father throwing spaghetti at my mother anymore because it's too difficult for me, okay? So Mario and I, just gonna go home and talk things out. - One time when I was a little girl, the barkshaes, that Dr. Atkins diet was just coming out and everybody was only eating protein and my family loved pasta, and so we gave up pasta and my mom was so upset about it. And instead she learned how to make pasta out of zucchini. And so one night we were having zucchini strings and my mother asked my father if he paid the car insurance and he threw a zucchini spaghetti at her head, and now I can't eat zucchinis or spaghetti. Okay. - One thing you may not know about me is actually that when my father wants to do spaghetti and my mother, she was so upset, she couldn't even say, ow, all she could say was, oh, and then my father said, you know what, that would be a great soup. Spaghetti, oh, so now I can never have spaghettios because it reminds me of my father throwing spaghetti at my mother, and you know who the CEO of Spaghettios is? It's Geraldine Parsons Smith, another reason. (laughing) - Oh, sorry. - I guess 'cause we're on a pandemic, but this reminds me of Sonya. When she finally started getting offended about all of her employees and she's like, you don't know, you don't know what I do to help children runaways, homeless children, LGBT, AIDS, cat. - Like, mother Teresa in great gardens over there, like she's actually like, you know what, she's actually become Miss Havisham. She just sits there in her old weird estate and like runaways like Pip come over to her. And yes, I am going on a Charles Dick in Great Expectations tangent, but I don't mind because it works. - She's like, listen here, you're gonna need to keep those flies on your face outside, all right? I don't have money for an exterminator. - Okay, better your meaty children. - Yeah, what'd she do? She gives them like, she gives away to toast her ovens to the poor. (laughing) - She's hilarious, man. - Okay, what else happened in this? I have no concerns, I wrote down concerns. - Kristen was annoying about something, I forget what it was, but she wasn't knowing about something. I don't know. - The ladies on the Luan couch, first of all, no bravo, you're really uncool. You use Luan in every episode pretty much the season once you finally showed her. She's been there for everything. She's a full-time member at the reunion and you still won't put her in the credits. That's not cool. - I know. - That's bullshit. - Exactly. - Although, I'm thankful I didn't have to watch the demise of Jacques and Luan. - Yeah, I was happy for that too. And I also liked that the way that Luan defended herself against the faceless when she was like, Jacques was very tall and my ex was six too. So she, I don't like short Frenchmen. I like tall Frenchmen. Ideally, if they look like a pirate. - Well, the best is going to be when they tell us from Mona, which will probably be in part six of the reunion, but when Andy is like making her talk about Mario. - Yeah, and he's like, I want you to know the package. I'm like, oh, suddenly Andy, like, thinks his heels in the ground. - Yeah. - For a sec. - For a sec, at least. - So what else? Are we done with this week? - I think we're done. - I think we're done. - I have no more nips. I'm done with notes. I'm done. It just occurred to me. You're recording this, right? I did not press record. - I thought this was your week. - Don't you say that? - Just kidding. - Yes, phew. - I have recorded all 122 minutes of this lovely chat we just had with each other. - Are you? Oh, Jesus. - Gee, this. All right. - No, not 122 minutes. - I know. - An hour and 22 minutes. - Oh, I see. All right. Well, let's wrap it up then. - Which is the same thing, right? - Yeah, exactly. - There's 100 minutes in and out, really. - That's a sad person. - This is a Milania GDJ moment. - Yeah, 100 for a smart car. - Okay, everybody. So that will do it for today. I would like to thank everybody on our Facebook page 'cause you guys have been really funny today. I'm going to try and read a really funny comment. - Read one. - Please do a Sony employee rant. I checked Craigslist for judges between jobs to employ. Nothing. That's one of my jobs. - Oh, I did want to mention also, Brandi Glanville has a new wine. So let's all try and come up with a name for it. - Skank. - My personal favorite is Slagon Slurp, but I don't know about you. You can find us, I might put that on our Facebook to name it. But anyway, tweet it at us. That'll be fun. We're @WhatCrapins. And on Facebook, we're at Facebook.com/WatchitCrapins. Thank you guys for making us laugh this whole time. We recorded reading your stuff. You can find Ben at BesideBlog.com or on any social media outlet at BesideBlog. Me, Ronnie Karam on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook. Trash.tv.com has a lot of really funny recaps. You can find my YouTube parody video. It's a big brother this season every Friday at youtube.com/Trash.tv. T-E-E-E-E. And that'll do it. Until next week. - Yeah, I'm going to go off onto Sonya's yacht. And I would invite the rest of you guys to come. But as Aviva says, you're all kind of like rookies. So you don't really know what you're doing. - And you don't want to embarrass yourself in front of P2D. - No, you definitely don't want to do that. He'll be on Sonya's yacht. - Toes. - Yeah. - OK, everybody. Thanks so much. We'll talk to you later. - Bye. - Later. - Later. - Hala. - Hala. - And-- - If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the internet. The folks behind the side show network have launched a new YouTube channel called WaitForIt. It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza Schleisinger, slicing, driving friends with it for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there. And I still have a hard time with the last name, Liza. Our very own Owen Benjamin, that's me, takes you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes and much more. You don't have to wait any longer. Just go to youtube.com/waitforaccomedy. There's no need to wait for it anymore. Because it's here. And it's funny. And I love you. 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