Archive.fm

Watch What Crappens

#137: Going Out On A Limb

Duration:
1h 21m
Broadcast on:
23 Jul 2014
Audio Format:
other

Ben Mandelker (bsideblog.com) and Ronnie Karam (trashtalktv.com) tackle all the death threats, backstabbing, and leg throwing on Bravo, starting with the Real Housewives of NYC season finale. Aviva threw her leg, and the world scratched its head. Then it's on to the latest brawl in Orange County, followed by more hilariously deplorable behavior on Game of Crowns.
The Bravo entertainment wheezes to an end with recaps of Ladies of London and Real Housewives of New Jersey, both of which had snoozers of episodes (but that didn't stop us from having lots of fun at their expense). Come in and listen!

See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Then let's talk about article I just moved into a new house and it is really hard to find quality furniture that honestly I can afford without feeling terribly guilty. I found the most beautiful stuff on article. I got three bar stools for this bar I built and they are gorgeous. They're mid-century modern brown leather seats, just beautiful and not only are they great, but they brought them over and they put them together. It was white glove service from beginning to end. That was my experience with them too. I mean, the truth is that article believes in delightful design for every home and thanks to their online only model, they have some really delightful prices too. Their curated assortment of mid-century modern, coastal, industrial, scandy and boho designs make furniture shopping simple. Article's team of designers are all about finding the perfect balance between style, quality and price and they're dedicated to thoughtful craftsmanship that stands the test of time and looks good doing it. Article offers fast affordable shipping across the US and Canada, plus they won't leave you waiting around, you pick the delivery time and they'll send you updates every step of the way. This is very true and article's knowledgeable customer care team is there when you need them to make sure your experience is smooth and stress free. Article is offering our listeners $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. To claim, visit article.com/crapins and the discount will be automatically applied at checkout. But that's article.com/crapins for $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. Unlock your imagination with Audible. When you listen to audio content, your mind is free to paint the scenes and feel the emotions of a great story. Audible's extensive catalog is sure to have titles that you'll enjoy, immerse yourself in captivating tales, learn from world-renowned experts and discover new perspectives all while multitasking or relaxing. There's more to imagine when you listen and one title that I've been listening to is my friend Neil J. Young's Coming Out Republican, which talks about the history of gay Republicans. It's super fascinating and super interesting. As an Audible member, you choose one title a month to keep from their entire catalog. New members can try Audible free for 30 days. Visit audible.com/crapins or text "crapins" to 500-500. That's audible.com/crapins or text "crapins" to 500-500. Put your website to work while you play. A website works 24/7 so no matter where you are or what you're doing, people can still find you online. Start building your website today at GoDaddy. It starts with a .com domain. Enter promo code 199WC at checkout to get your .com for just $1.99. It used to be $2.99. Now we're down to $1.99. Some limitations apply. See website for details. The code again is 199WC. The 199 stands for $1.99 and the WWC stands for Watch for Crapins. See how that makes sense? Use it and have fun. Watch for Crapins. Watch for Crapins. Who cares what happens when there's so much that Crapins? Crapins. Crapins. Crapins. Watch for Crapins. Watch for Crapins. Who cares what happens when there's so much that Crapins. Hey everyone. Welcome to Watch what Crapins. A podcast about all that Crap on Bravo that we truly love. I'm Ben Mandelker from bsideblog.com. You can find me @bsideblog on Twitter and Instagram and Vine and Pinterest and what other social media platform you wish to peruse. Joining me as always is my trusty cohort, the one and only and the beautiful Rani Karam. Hi Rani. Hello Ben. Hello. Why don't you tell the people where they can find you? You guys can find me. Come to my website trashtalktv.com. We've got a lot of comedy writers writing really funny TV rec apps. You can also follow us on Twitter @TrashtweetTV or come to our YouTube channel for Big Brother parody videos and that is youtube.com/trashtalktv or you can follow me @ranicaram on Twitter or Vine @ranicaram or Instagram @ranicaram. Yeah. Yep. Everyone do that because Rani is super funny and all his content is funny. He is the funniest contenter ever. Thanks, Ben. No problem. And of course, if you want to get truly involved as you should, do come and like our Facebook page, which is facebook.com/watchwhatcrapins, all one word. It's a really fun Facebook page. We're up to 2600 likes. There's actually a really fun active community of people up there. People post links like all the time. We usually only, if we're covering gossip on the show, we usually only get to one or two stories and there are probably like 10 or 15 that go up on this page and they're from obscure places sometimes and they're hilarious. It's really worth getting involved. People are very funny. Good commenters. So go ahead and like it. Like that page and be in the in crowd. You know what I'm saying? Yeah guys, I'm actually posting a video to that page right now of Kenya more falling on the runway. So come on. It's totally worth it. It was on TMZ. So thanks. Thanks for being awful TMZ. You know what? I was at the gym yesterday and I walked by like TV and that's that stupid show. Dish Nation was on and Porsche was on there. I didn't know what she was saying because the TV was on mute, but the big like the title that was under her just said Kenya be trippin. So I guess that I just I just assumed that was about like Kenya being crazy. I just thought it was like a funny thing to say. Can you feel faster than how old baby booby stay again? I stand to honey. Can you act like you just got right over by the underground railroad? But I guess that was action reference to Kenya actually trippin. I have a little bit of gossip. It's really there's no story attached to it. But guess who I saw last night when I went out to a bar? Um, Reza. No. Leah. No, one last guess. Lily Galichi. No, although it's funny because I spoke about all three of those people with the person I was hanging out with. The two people that I saw at the bar were former fuck buddies Jackson Horseface. Ew. Seriously? Seriously? They were hanging out together. What were they doing? Where were you at? What bar? Yeah. I was at the pikey which is an awesome bar. It looked like they were actually on a double date. They weren't like they're solely with each other. They each had a date and there may have been one or two other people with them. And you know by the way, we have to touch base with Katie Kazorla because Katie got an invite to Sheena's wedding. Did you know that? Really have funny. Yeah, and the wedding I think may have been this past weekend so we have to hear all about that because that was televised for the show. Oh yeah, super high profile. Yes. It's only like the wedding of the century. Yeah, everybody from Reza was there. It was a who's who of Azusa. It's Azusa. Azusa. Yeah, I actually really would have liked it. Azusa. Azusa. Azusa of Azusa. Oh, I wonder if they'll make the Azusa the Azusa Daily social page. Out and about. We wrap up our hearts. I can't wait for that show to come back. I'm so excited for it. I can definitely wait. I am excited to see the spinoff that I hear is in the works at Bravo of Lisa's gay bar which looks exactly the same and it's on the same street but is just name something different. Pump. Yeah. Stupid. Yeah. And they actually have like a little tiny gold van der on the roof. So yeah, you know, because like in case tourists are too stupid to figure out which one is Lisa's. But they took it down this week. So I think they're finally having a little faith in us. Thanks, Pump. Yeah, thanks. I still have yet to go. I've been told that it's like very A.E.'s and antiquey and not in the spirit of WeHo. Well, it's the same thing. It's the exact same thing as Sir is. It's just big gigantic. Everything's gigantic. You know, it's like a flower potter, but huge. You feel like you're kind of an Alice in Wonderland. Yeah. But like not in like a fun gateway, but just like in a tacky. I'm just like, you know, like old fancy lady, old lady fancy way. Old fancy lady. Yeah. And my friends were like, this is uncomfortable and stupid. This isn't fun. Let's go somewhere else. And then I met this really cheesy gay guy the other day. You know, those gay guys who are like, they're a platter jackets and are really tight. And he was wearing skinny jeans and they were coming down below his butt crack. Well, he sat in a stall. And he looks at everybody like they're disgusting and like his eyes are always half rolling. You know, like one of those and it's like, he acts like he's like really cultured and smart and everybody else is stupid. And you ask him what he does. And he's like, I do hair. Yeah. Don't over yourself, bitch. Like seriously. So anyway, he was one of those and he's like, oh, I got that. What's that pop? It was gorgeous. It was an amazing place. It was so beautiful. It's like, oh, Jesus, you little baguito burrito. Get out of my restaurant. Yeah, get out of there. Get out. Hey, Ronnie, will you sing a show tuned to everyone for a second? Because I realize why you sound so quiet to me. It's because I have the wrong headphones in. So sing a song for 10 seconds. Ben. It would be nice if you tested the said, Ben. You need to start using head bump for your internet pawn to test them. Your neighbors don't want to hear gay moaning from you. That was a beautiful song. Beautiful. Isn't that nice? Oh, yeah. Oh, God. You sound so much better to me. I'm sorry, everyone. I'm sorry. You all had to endure that. That song was called Ben. Use your headphones. Yeah. I was using my headphones. I was using my bad headphones, I should say. But now I've got my good ones in. Actually, these headphones that I'm using are like old headphones, but they were better. Old light earbuds. And I'm like, Apple, you changed the design and I don't appreciate it. Hey, while we're talking about earphones, did you know that beats, you know those stupid things that cost like $5,000 for headphones? Yeah. And everybody, like poor people on the street are wearing them and you're like, "Don't you need an apartment? Like, why are you wearing $500 headphones?" I just read that those cost $14 to make. So fuck you. Yeah. Dr. Dre. Yeah. Fuck you. Fuck you. I want some fancy headphones and all I have are my old earbuds. This is really fascinating stuff for people. Isn't this great? I have those headphones with like the things that go inside of your ear, like a stethoscope, and they kind of like suck your ears. And then when you pull them out, they've got earwax. They're like air wax removal headphones. Those remind me of the earphones on TWA, back when TWA existed. That's what their earphones were like. And you're hurt. Yeah. What is going on there? Is someone watering? No. There's just perpetual construction around my apartment. You know, first they were building something that was getting their teeth drilled. I know. I feel like I'm in a dentist's office. Now there's a building that's going up across the street. And now the DWP is drilling in the street. And then on top of that, my building there decided to renovate the gym. So it's all happening. It's all happening right now. Maybe just the sound of MJ across street opening her legs. Does it get crank? That's the sound of MJ opening continuous bottles. I mean, bags of chips. I feel like I've had another Bravo celebrity sighting this week, but since I can't remember it, I'll just wait to some point in the podcast. Sounds about right. Okay, so let's get on with it with a huge week. Yeah. What do you want to talk about first? Well, why don't we just talk about New York because this was the leg that changed a thousand lives. Last leg of the wrist. The last leg. Hilarious. Yeah. Totally worth it. Yes. Amazing. So this, I will say the overall, the final episode was good. It wasn't like the earth shattering crazy fight that I thought it would be. I thought it was actually sort of like any of the other fights that have been this week, but still highly entertaining, highly. And when Aviva said that she'd been lied to by her doctors, I was like, "Shh, this bitch." Like, she is so crazy. And then I realized it was a joke. Yeah, I totally thought for it too. I've got to love that she whips out a giant folder with X-rays. Oh my God. Well, she must have known that props are now banned from the reunion. So therefore, she's like, "I'll just bring him to the party now." Of course, someone beats the shit out of me. Like, Porsche took down Kenya. Oh my goodness. I mean, I actually really don't know where to begin. Just want me to start the beginning of the episode. Yeah, there wasn't like a ton of stuff to really discuss. The lecture was amazing. I just wrote in my notes that I love that Ramona calls Sonya. Sonya Bonia. Because that's so rude and so true. Yeah. What a perfect nickname. Sonya Bonia. And it starts off with Sonya all upset because Harry left with Luam last week. And she's in bed and her interns are like flittering around her trying to make her comfortable and put ice on her leg because she fell on the street trying to chase the cab, which is hilarious. Well, and I love it. Oh, sorry. I love that she like, could not even bear it. Let's just say, is this the only towel that we have? I can't look at this towel. I can't aesthetically deal with this towel. Don't we have a button for a better towel? But I just imagine her chasing that car like the little girl in Hope Flitz and her dad's leaving. She's like, "Damn!" If you think Sonya had such a noble injury that was like chasing after her lover on the street, you're wrong. She clearly just fell down a staircase. And some bodega in a back alley in Harlem. She did not go chasing after her cab. She didn't even know there was a cab. I believe that she was chasing a cab. But I feel like Carrie probably had the coconuts pocket. She was like, "Oh, David Harry, you're supposed to be ours!" Well, it's funny because she's got to be on something because there are moments when she's very lucid. When she was talking to Harry, she was very, very lucid. And I loved the way that when she broke up with him, I loved the way she handled that, the way she spoke to him. I was like, "Oh, here's the Sonya from the season one that we liked." But the other time, she's just a total mess. I mean, she's got to be on something. Yeah, I like when she's all about self-respect and standing up for herself with Harry, like right after trying to fuck a 16-year-old in Montana. Come on. Yeah, Billy Lady. Yeah, that's true too. I mean, well, Harry is a piece of shit, though. I mean... He is, but you know what, Harry's an inspiration to all-homely fat people with, like, hairplugs. You know, you could really fuck whoever you want. Just work really hard. Make a lot of money. Yeah. And you're set. Yeah, make money and be an asshole. I mean, at least if you're a straight guy, gay guys don't get that. No. We don't care. Well... Oh, you're rich. That's awesome. You're a style disgusting. 'Cause, like, guys can't fake it. Like, we can't just get a boner. No, but they are, I mean, listen, back that up. They are definitely enough, like, sugar daddy situations where I would question. I mean, there are, like, these, like, cute, like, we-ho-boys, and then you meet, like, their boyfriend, and they're, like, these, you know, 55-year-old old-job-of-huts or something like that. Yeah, but they're, like, those loaded faces that look like they, like, just washed up on the killing. Yeah. They're, like, all waterlogged. Yeah, no, it works with gay guys, too, you know? I guess. 'Cause I mean, it doesn't work with me, though. Well, not me. I mean, my penis can barely rally for someone who's really hot. Like, I'm just so used to internet porn. I've got a good three minutes in me, and my penis is just tired. Like, that's the only endurance I have at this point. I know. It's very difficult. You have to work it up. It's like speed walking. Yeah. Okay, so enough about my penis. Yeah. So, okay, so, so, so then Sonya basically invites Luan over. And by the way, I loved how when Pickles opened the door with Luan. It's like, "Oh, hi, Pickles." Yeah, I do have, like, Imperials. Hello, Pickles, darling. So good to see you. Yeah. I haven't seen you since that club sound, which I had in the '90s. [laughter] I haven't met my friend Guriken. You're still mingling with Tuna every once in a while. [laughter] You're getting pieces of the order you in movies, or is it strictly popcorn now? [laughter] I was going to, like, make some Chick-fil-A joke, but it just would have been the music. Have you been to Chick-fil-A? [laughter] How's life at Chick-fil-A? [laughter] I've been gifted mustard lately. Delicious. [laughter] Oh, Pickles. Oh. So, yeah, Pickles is super cute. And I love, at Sonya's party, she showed up in a gigantic fake diamond necklace that Sonya scraped out of her French chateau before she sold. Like, where'd that come from, Pickles? I know. Pickles had a good moment at Sonya's party, or special, whatever party it was, because Sonya introduced her as Naomi. I was like, "What? Not Pickles?" I know. I was like, "Wow, look at that respect." And then when that leg was thrown, they showed Pickles face, and she... Everyone else was laughing, and Pickles was just, like, worried and horrified and sad for humanity. I was like, "Oh, Pickles, you feel?" [laughter] Because you know that at that point, Pickles has been, you know, like, she doesn't have any emotion left. You know, she's been beat down to the fact that she's accepted Pickles as her new name. So for her to suddenly feel emotion again, it's got to be really bad. Yeah. Poor Pickles. I hope she starts getting paid one day, Pickles. Yeah. I hope the Vlasx story comes by and saves you. [laughter] She may be crunchy on the outside. She's soft on the inside, guys. Richard. [laughter] Let's see, if Oak, a stupid model wife, was like, "Gosh, you can't believe you're going to hire someone 25 to be your model. Hello, model wife, hello. Want to be on a billboard?" I know. And she's like, "I'm more than just a housewife." I'm like, "Really?" Because if you were more than just a housewife, you wouldn't be begging your husband to get work dumped up. Yeah, exactly. I mean, Kristen has become so tiresome. I really liked her in the beginning of the season, but she even fast-forwarding to when to Sonya's party, and there's talk of Aviva showing up, and Kristen's like, " Aviva, she owes me an apology. She owes me an apology." Honestly, Aviva's crazy or whatever, but why the fuck does she owe you an apology? She didn't pay out a pocket for her. She just said she wasn't going, and that's the end of it. Like, you know what? Get over it. Yeah. That was pretty ridiculous with all the women. They were gearing up for that whole finale party, and they're like, "We're going to get Aviva!" Yeah, no. That was pretty stupid. What are you going to get Aviva for, being crazy? Although, I'm glad they did go for her, because that was one of the funniest scenes of all time. No, yeah. No, it was... Honestly, anytime they go up to Aviva, and Aviva lashes out, it's pure hilarity. And we got to see Carol's new apartment. Man. It's like just apartment Renault, and Heather's like, "Oh my God, it was a major renovation." Hey, Mama! Hey, Mama! Hey, Mama! I'm not going to put the G at the end of things. All right, I'm early. What are you thinking about, Mama? What are you doing, Mama? This couch is fly, Mama. Hey, Mama! This is like, I feel like I'm with Puffy again, Mama. Yeah. Hey, Mama! She's like all into this new renovation, and she's talking about how Carol has this great modern taste. I'm like, "That's a leopard print couch." Yeah. I actually hated it. I was like, "This is like, like, Martin Lorn's Balard came through here and shat on everything." I did! I do think it should be featured on one of those pro anasites, like those anorexia sites, because she actually turned her kitchen. She kept it looking like a kitchen but turned it into an office. She's like, "He needs a kitchen." I was like, "Hey, man, sister. All those girls whose knees are knocking together, walking down the street, they have something to be proud of." That being said, I got totally claustrophobic just looking at that kitchen. It was so... I mean, I know about galley kitchens and everything, but like, they have more space on below deck than they do in that thing, you know? Yeah. And then that ceiling, that silver, like with that tinfoil ceiling, I was like, "Oh, I think that was done in the '90s." What does that feel? I actually liked that. Silver leaf? I don't know. That silver leaf sounds like the name of the '90s band. Well, I guess that silver chair. Well, that would fit. That would kind of fit in with the decor. I actually liked the ceiling. I just felt like everything else, it was like... It was like, I guess it was trying to be like sort of a trendy gaudy or something like that, kind of eclectic, cool. But I just, I found it to be an eyesore. I kind of liked her sleek, modern look before. But I guess that was her learning period for the death of her husband. Aww. But I love Carol. It's so funny. Every time we rag on her, I feel bad because I feel like she's the smartest and the funniest of the... Our imitation is nothing like her, first of all. If she has ever listening, I hope, you know, because she seems cool. She seems like she has a sense of humor about everything in life. So I hope she has a sense of humor about the fact that we make her sound like a dying crocodile. Because she doesn't sound like that at all, but we have truly made her sound like she is crawling out from a mud pile. Be like, "Ah, daylight," you know? Do you like my new apartment? It's leopard bread. I get lots of inspiration in my non-kitchen... I don't need much room in my kitchen because the only person who works here is my ghost writer and they don't have a body. I'm having a kind of good, evil-themed party in my office, except it's just the office of good and evil. That didn't make sense, I'm sorry. You've never ruined humanity's chances at happiness because I don't have any apples in my kitchen. I wax the apples, not to make them look shy, but so I don't have to eat them. Yeah, so that was Carol's apartment. I love Razzie's sister, Mama. Mama? Mama? Yeah, Heather was about her death son, which is so depressing. I don't even want to talk about it. That's sad. I feel bad there. Because you know what I feel bad about non-seriousness is that this poor kid, you just know the hearing loss is just going to be one of several more challenges they're going to face. Because he's just a kid who is just sad. So it's really sad. I'm not saying that in a way to be mean about it. I actually feel for Heather and her husband on that front side. Yeah, it's really sad. I mean, on the plus side, he doesn't have to listen to his mom talk like this babbie on TV. And I have to say also, I do want to say this when they're like, "Jack, what do you feel?" I think my ears are fine, no offense to the situation, not to be insensitive to the situation, but I'm going to take a doctor's, I'm going to take a doctor's. You're going to listen to the doctor? Yeah, I'm going to listen to the doctor. Well, you know what? Just to play the devil's advocate, Aviva had a doctor too. So I don't know how much I'm going to trust any fucking doctors. That's true. That's true. But Aviva's doctor's probably the same doctor that you pay him $10 and he gets you a weed card. Yeah, it's like Dr. Moon. Yeah, she's like, "Doctor, I think I have asthma," isn't it? Well, yeah, you've got asthma. Okay, thanks, doctor, you know. I want Adderall. That's all I have to say on that. I don't know. I've been thinking about that all week. I need it! Okay, so let's talk about what else. That's it for that show, right? Yeah, I would say Ramona... I know that's kind of anticlimactic, but we've got like 10 hours of reunion special. And Ramona tells off Andy or something. Yeah, she does. And by the way, was it me or did Ramona's cheeks look a little puffy? It looked like she had, like, sucking candies in her mouth, but I realized there were none. And the show or the reunion? And the show. It looked like she may have done something with her cheeks. I honestly tried just not to look when Ramona's on. She just, she just, like, it's not that she's ugly or anything. She just stresses me out. She's just so high-struggling. I'm like, those eyes popping out of her head. Ronnie? Shit, I just got to turn away. Ronnie, be honest, the only reason, okay, that you don't look at Ramona on the show, okay? It's because you only like to look when you have read around, okay? And that's okay. That's okay. You can admit that. I accept it. I accept it. I accept that. My chemistry with Mario is explosive. I mean, from the second it was chemistry from the second we started. Okay. Okay. Okay. Jesus. Yeah. Um. Aviva, I didn't like you throwing your leg like that because it reminded me of one time we were having dinner at our cabin in the Berkshires when I was a kid. And my mom made a joke about how murder she wrote was a repeat that week. And she said murder, murder she wrote wasn't writing that week. And then my father threw a spaghetti made out of a zucchini at my mother's head. And now I can't see anything thrown, especially a leg. Okay. This reminds me of when I was a child, okay? I went to see, I went to see Geraldine Parsons Smith go perform some track and field, okay? She had to do the long jump. All right. And when she went to do the long jump, someone threw a saw. And so she jumped and the saw hit her and her leg went flying into the dirt pile, but she fell down. So all I saw was a leg flying through the air and it was very traumatic for me. So I'm sorry. I can't look at a leg falling off of someone, especially if it's thrown. Sorry. Okay. It's very rude. Um, I, I'm Sonia. I love your weird party with all your weird people who are on the team. I'm Sonia, and I would love to stay, but there was a leg thrown. And you're also serving chicken legs. And one time when I was a kid, my mother and father got in an argument about who the male man was delivering our male to on accident. And my father got really mad and he threw a chicken leg wrapped in a spaghetti at my mother's head. Okay. And I can't be here. Okay. One time, uh, when I was a, when I was a child, okay? My father took us to Kentucky for chicken. Okay. And he got a big bucket of chicken legs. All right. And I was very excited about it. One, except I got very, it's too excited. And I touched a bucket. My father said, you can't touch the bucket. And as a result of you touching the bucket, this is what I'm going to do. I need to do every single chicken leg at my mother's face. Okay. So to this day, I don't like watching legs or chickens or chicken legs being thrown. I'm sorry. Okay. It's also why I can't run marathons because every time I run a marathon, I'm trying to finish. And people, someone always says, it's the last leg. And then I start crying. Okay. One of the reasons why I can't watch Lord of the Rings. Okay. Is that there's a character named Legolas. Okay. And that reminds me as a child, I tried to lasso a leg. But now I couldn't do it. So my father got mad at me and lassoed me instead and tied me to a tree. Okay. So now I can't see anything with Legolas because it reminds me of my lasso leg. Avery actually had a brother. Okay. And, um, one time, he asked me to buy him some Legos and I put him up for adoption. So now I just have Avery. Okay. As a child. Okay. I used to love waffles. All right. Okay. But now I can't eat waffles anymore because one time I bought some Eggo waffles and Mario is a joke, but an L in front of the Eggo. And now all I see are Lego waffles and it reminds me too much of all my leg traumas as a child. Okay. So I'm sorry. I can't eat your waffle. Every time I hear like, oh my egg, oh, I start crying. Okay. Okay. Okay. Bye. New York. See you for the next 18 weeks. Wait, wait, wait. One, one last comment, which is that I thought it was a very, so when Aviva threw her leg, it was like crazy hilarious, but then the show tonally went in such a bizarre direction because then everyone in the room started to laugh like this is crazy and the music got jazzy and everyone was like, oh, and like it was so weird to watch because I thought I was gonna be like this like moment of everyone be like, oh, but instead everyone was just like laughing at Aviva. And the show was like, well, weird things happen. And I was like, what? And they showed, they showed all the ladies talking and no one was paying attention to Aviva and she just kind of slinked out the back. Yeah. And then it was like, it was Carol to give the like, like back and I was like, you need help. You need help. Oh my God. That shit was funny. It was so bizarre, but it was, it was a nice moment. I was dying. Okay. So real house was Orange County. Should we do next? Sure. David. Hey, man. Let me. I was trying to make crazy and crazy, David. You know what? They are kind of gaslamping. Is it gaslamping or gaslighting? Oh, they're totally are. Yeah. Yeah. But at the same time, she's also crazy. So she's so gaslamable. I mean, she is basically like, she's made of kerosene. Just light her up gaslighting gaslighting or whatever. Whatever is she's, she's full of gas and she's full of light. So you might as well just make her a gaslight. Dr. Well, and what do you take care of this gas I've got? People are trying to gaslight. I mean, it's going to blow up my butt soon. Oh, Dr. Moon, David says that my intestines bulging a little bit and I think that might be the source of all my problems. Oh, God. Can I say, I was around a few different gays over the past since our last podcast. And there's been discussion of OC and I would have to say across the board. Everyone is Team Shannon. People love Shannon. Yeah. Shannon. Shannon just, I mean, no matter good for for better or worse. She seems like who she is. She doesn't seem like she's faking it yet. Yeah. Well, I think that she's also, she's honest with her feelings, you know, so even though she is crazy, even though she lives in a strange world and she has eccentricities, she is, she's very honest with her emotions and she knows how to articulate them. And it lets us into her head. And as a result, we can empathize with her. Which is. Well, also, I mean, that's like a very psychological, deep, beautiful actually way of putting it. The way I would put it is Heather and Tamara are cunts and it's really easy for whoever they're trying to make it crazy on TV. Tamara is obviously lying. No. She even said in this one, did I tell her that? I don't, I don't remember. I don't think I did. If I did, I don't remember. Yeah. And really Tamara. And she plays both sides. Like, she's like on, she's supporting Shannon, she's like, I'm so like, I'm so sorry, you know. Oh gosh, like that was, that was crazy. No, no, no, no. Please come back sit down. And the next day she goes out to brunch with Heather and is like, and then she said this as you know this, she said that and she said that and she does this and she does that. She drinks vodka, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, yeah, she's a drunk, she sleeps in separate rooms from her husband. Maybe we should call, you know, at the party, you know, who we should call a doctor because she's having a psychotic breakdown. Well, that was Heather. That was Heather. Classic Heather move, which is to take a situation that is more or less benign, you know, and to overly dramatize to say, well, maybe we should get, we should get an ambulance, you know, you want to make someone feel crazy. Yeah, that's like, that's like publicly embarrassed them and publicly saying them in front of you. Under the guise of having concern, you know, like that's the worst. That to me is like, that's where the gaslighting really comes in, we're a woman who has pushed her limit because Heather doesn't understand, like, like the ramifications, like Heather is still hung up on, I was yelled at in her house, I was yelled at in her house. And like, and she, and now all of a sudden Heather's crying and she, then she's, then she's like, well, we should, we should get her an ambulance, you know, it was, thank God for Lizzy's husband, who, who was like, we're not getting an ambulance. Okay. And also thank God for Lizzy's husband refusing to give another toast because I don't think I could take that one again. And thank God for Lizzy for somehow imagine to do it all. Yeah, Lizzy, you, you do it all, Lizzy, you've got your parents house cleaned, you open up a bottle of, you open up a bottle of sparkling water. Yeah. Good for you. You, you really can't do it all. You can do it all, girl. Girl, give yourself a pat in the back. Girl, bye. You did it. Someone posted on our Facebook that all the pictures of the OC reunion have been floating around the internet and Lizzy's not in it. Oh. She's not in the pictures. Oh, maybe she has a, maybe she has a bathing suit emergency. Or maybe she's just there. But at this point, she's just fucking invisible. Or maybe they'll just put her in front of a shitty green screen like they've done all the season and make her look like she's at the reunion. No, but, but for getting back to the fight. So for Heather to say, maybe we should get her an ambulance. So it's so patronizing and obnoxious. And then Heather starts to cry or she does her fake crying. She's like, you know, I just, I, I feel like, you know, like, I, like, I don't know what to do. It's like, shut up, Heather. You, you're an ice queen. I am not taking away from her point that she was just saying to her friends, like, this is the situation with this girl, whatever that I think is actually a totally valid defense in her part. But I think all the rest of her behavior, the fact that she, that she says that Shannon yelled at her in her own home, that, that she, that Shannon didn't apologize her when she did. Heather, you are so deluded. Yeah. Heather, you know, we've said it a million times. She's a word. So I don't really even have anything to say. So I've been so disgusted with her for so long. I'm just done with her. But I will say I'm freshly disgusted, which is nice on a show that's getting stale. I'm freshly disgusted with her husband. Who fights with women like that? Stop. I mean, I'm a total bitch on this spot, but I would never fight like that in real life with the women. Like I'll talk about her back. I would like, I'll call them to see word on the podcast, but I would never fight with someone's wife at a party. What are you doing? It's so weird. Yeah. No, I, I agree. I mean, look, you're, the implications that any of these people have any sort of class and they don't. I mean, again, whenever Brooks represents like, like, like the biggest gentleman in the room, you know, you got a problem. Well, you know what I want, Vicki. I just want a partner and that partner is you partner. I feel sometimes like you're the horse that I want to ride into the sunset, stop pee on a tree, find our oasis, keep chasing those big puddles that look like water, but then we realize it was just the sun making us feel funny and then making love in the sand and riding home with sand in our cracks and wondering why we're so uncomfortable. But at least we have each other partner. Yeah, I think that I think Vicki that the next, the next step of our relationship is the next evolution is, is me moving into your house and because that's just the way relationships go. And also I've been evicted from my mobile home in Alabama. So this is truly the next evolution. My wife has repossessed our mobile home and I would like to repossess your heart, Vicki. I think, I think it's the next evolution because I just finished my, I just finished my food stamps for the month and I noticed you have some extra beef jerking in your kitchen. So I thought maybe I just move in and next evolution of my meals will be in beef jerky instead of, instead of government cheese. Oh, bro, she's so romantic, I know. Speaking of Vicki, we had another therapy sesh with her and Brianna where Brianna, well this was actually super interesting because Brianna was more emotionally raw than we're used to seeing her. Usually Brianna is very tough on the outside and this time she like immediately just started crying. I just want my mom to pray about and my mom never priests in anything and I do everything that she wants to do. Vicki didn't hear a word of that. I know. I love when people want their mom's approval and then they do something to rebel against their mom. Yeah. Vicki's like, you're getting that on the couch. Where's Ryan to abuse a woman when she's messing up my couch when I need him? Exactly. I don't know, I'm still like, until Brianna leaves that wretched man, I just can't be on her side. Yeah. Like if Julia Roberts went back to that guy from sleeping with the enemy, I would not feel for her. I thought you were going to say, "Lyle, love it." Well, he didn't abuse her though, right? Just with his face. No. He just wasn't at the same aesthetic level as her. Yeah, I don't think that that's like a technical form of abuse. I think that that's just- It's just like a Hollywood form, like I'm sorry, the pretty people can only be with each other. Sorry, Lyle. We all like you, Lyle, but you just have to stay in your lane when it comes to- Lyle, you've got a face for Spotify, right? You just keep on making that music, boy. Actually, he's on the bridge, Season 2 of The Bridge, which again, I'm like, "Why am I watching this?" It's like the most depressing thing ever. And I'm like, "Oh, just keep watching it and want to kill myself." This is great. I kind of like the housewives. I mean, at least they try to be happy on the housewives. I don't know. That's true. Dead hookers. The other thing that happened is that Tamara's son, what's his face? Ryan. Oh, Jesus. That guy. Okay. How has that guy aged 20 years in one season? He is. He looks just terrible. I mean, when they show the flashbacks, I think it was the last week, they show the flashbacks of him through the years, "Ooh, has he aged?" That's what Hard Living will do. That's what Sarah is. His face looks like he smoked the Marlboro man. Oh, yeah. I mean, that guy looks like- That guy looks like he's been stomped on. By a life. Yeah. He has been. Well, that's what happens when you're Tamara's son, you know? So he met a girl on Instagram, as we often do, and they are now shacking up and getting married after two months. Yeah. She owns a gun store. She sort of looks like Wendy, what's her face from Reno 9-1-1. Oh, Wendy McLevon-Covey, I just listened to a podcast with her. She was funny. She's so funny. She looked like to me. She looks like somebody, and I cannot figure it out. Hopefully I'll figure it out by the end of the podcast, but I'll keep it in my brain. Yeah. There was something that I really wanted to talk about regarding this situation, and I can't remember it at all, but I thought it was hilarious. What's that show on you? I think it's on USA. Oh, no. It's on FX. It's called "Married," and it's with Matt Faxden and Matt Faxden married. Judy Greer. She looks like Judy Greer to me. Okay. All right, everybody. And then come on Facebook and tell me I'm right. She didn't look like Judy Greer to me at all. Either way, I quit this podcast. Yeah, quit. Come at. I'm calling him up. I'm calling him up. I'm tweeting Matt and telling him he has his job back. But so they were getting married, and Ryan's going to move up, and then Tamara flips out. She's like, "You have to prove me, and these things, I don't know." And she starts to cry. Why? Why would anybody include you in these things? You're not going to pay for it, eh? Yeah. She's-- Tamara's going to be like, "Can we have cut fitness, cater this event, and we'll just put content on every napkin?" Like, no, I don't want the word "con" on every napkin in my wedding, okay? Thanks. Mom. By the way, and I loved Tammy's, like, silver goblet that passes wine glasses from the TJ Maxx collection. Wine isn't wine unless it has a faint taste of wet nickels. Yeah. You know, when I was watching it, there was something-- I was like, "Oh gosh, I have to mention this on the podcast." I don't remember what it was, but it was hilarious watching Tamara start to cry. I mean, she's being so dramatic and ridiculous. She's so stupid, and no tears were coming out. Yeah. Thank you. You okay? Do this! Do me! And the best part of that was, well, actually, all of them were really funny. The girl was kind of laughing, like, you could tell she was laughing in her head, and Eddie was just like, "Oh, geez." Like, he rolled his eyes. He was like, "You're a mess. You need to go to bed." Yeah. I remember now. I remember now what, actually, I wanted to talk about. So they chit-chatting, and the girl mentions that her parents have died, and so Tamara's like, "Oh, no. What happened?" I'm like, "Oh my gosh." So she's like, "Well, my mom died of cancer," and then it's like, "And what about your dad?" And she's like, "Well, he killed himself." I'm like, "Ugh." It's terrible, but it's like, Tamara, you don't pry about these things, then Tamara's like, "How did he do it?" I'm like, "Are you seriously asking this right now?" And she's like, "He shot himself with a gun," and the entire table's sitting there awkwardly in silence. Like, if someone mentions that their parents have died, you let them volunteer the rest, but you don't start asking what happened, had they consumed the story? Well, not only that, but not even a full minute later, Tamara storms off to the oven, muttering curse words to herself and goes, "Just shoot me." Yes. Exactly. That's a little insensitive. I know. When she said that, I couldn't believe it. I was like, "You're such a, you're so ridiculous right now." It's like being on the phone with Taylor Armstrong after Russell died and being like, "Taylor, could you hang on for a second? Like you just don't say that. You just say, Taylor, could you please hold?" I mean, have some... Onto this noose. Yeah. This episode is sponsored by DoorDash. We're back to tell you more about the latest Dash Pass annual plan benefit streammax with ads included at no extra cost. You know what's a great night for us? Ordering DoorDash and cuddling up to watch the max original hacks. Which won best comedy, deservedly so, and we love tuning in to see not only icon Gene Smart, but the wonderful and incomparable Rose Abdu, who also is a huge Bravo fan. Listen, I'm always in the mood for hacks, but you never know what kind of food I'm in the mood for. Sometimes it's pizza. It's a salad, and I can get both with DoorDash. How about some ice cream? That's what I like to eat with my hacks. A hundred percent. I will double Dash. I will get a salad and then double Dash some ice cream. Why not? Sign up for a Dash Pass annual plan and get max included at no extra cost. It's your door to more. Max is now included with your Dash Pass annual plan. Streammax with ads up to $120 value included at no extra cost. From supply, see door dash dot com slash max for details. With big wireless providers, what you see is never what you get. Somewhere between the store and your first month's bill, the price you thought you were paying magically skyrockets. With Mint Mobile, you'll never have to worry about gotchas ever again. When Mint Mobile says $15 a month when you purchase a three month plan, they mean it. Oh my goodness, I cannot tell you how many times with other mobile providers, I thought I was going to be paying one thing per month and then surprise, I'm paying much more and I just love that Mint Mobile is straight up. All plans come with high speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. Use your own phone with any Mint Mobile plan and bring your phone number along with all your existing contacts. To get this new customer offer and your new three month premium wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to mintmobile.com/crapins, cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com/crapins. $45 upfront payment required equivalent to $15 a month. New customers on first three month plan only, speed slower above 40 gigabytes on unlimited plan. Additional taxes, fees and restrictions apply, see Mint Mobile for details. You know what, I hope hell is fun. I hope I lose weight before I die because I want to be able to be in a bathing suit in hell. I'm Jewish. I don't believe in hell. Oh, well, it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. You don't have to believe in an oven to get burned. Oh, I didn't even mean that was horrible. Oh, hey, there you go. You know what, you know, I don't mind being a horrible human being, I really didn't mean that to be a juju. What's your favorite store is a Holocaust market? A cross dress for Holocaust. Oh, sorry about that. Okay, everyone. Why don't we move on to, let's see, where do we want to go next? We have three shows that we can go to next. We should go to Game of Crowns because that was absolutely amazing. Oh, my God. Okay. Absolutely amazing. Really, what a disgusting show. I haven't watched every minute of it. It is phenomenal. It is such a good show. And it got me actually really fired up. I just followed up before I get all fired up. Such a funny show. So funny. So entertaining. These women are so caddy to each other. They're so evil to each other. It is just phenomenal. They are just downright awful, awful human beings. I mean, every one of them, the only one that seems kind of nice is the one that they're calling the man. Yeah, but she's like, but that's also because she's probably been beaten into submission. So let's talk about the situation. So these girls, they make a bet on how the pageants, the results are going to be for Mrs. America. Okay. And they've all these different scenarios. And the former Mrs. America, she wins the bet when the manish one doesn't place in, I think, top 10 or top four or something like that. Before we even go to this part, we have to talk about these women. Okay. So their friend, quote unquote, is competing. Well, they have a couple of friends competing. Lehigh. They're totally trash talking them. Talking about how they're not going to win, making bets of even make the top 10. They're calling her, they're like, Oh, God, she looks like a man. I guess it's because she used to be fat, but I mean, she really looks like a man. And then that Vanessa, who like you have the face of Chuckie bitch, like I cannot believe you're going to criticize anybody. But she pops open those plastic eyes and she's like, well, she's what we call a 40 footer. And that's when she's really cute from 40 feet away. It's like, Oh my God, 200 footer. Huh. No kidding. Sessa from Spacer. What a bitch. I know. I mean, they're being totally obnoxious. I mean, I can understand making like a like, I can understand making like, not like an official bet, but like, I bet it's going to be someone's like, who's right? You know, who's who's going to get the right, the right order. But it was though mean, considering it was their friends that they were betting on or betting against. Yeah. And so anyway, so this bet happens before Mrs. America, she wins the bet. And so she's sort of like, she's kind of like laughs and does like a little celebratory dance. So Lee has a husband is the name Nick, I believe. He is sitting behind his women at this and Nick is certifiably crazy during the entire pageant. He's like, would I land, you know, he's like a total like bore, you know, a complete monster. And so then when he says, he's like, hey, why are you laughing? Why are you laughing? And he's like, yeah, go, baby. I fucked that. I fucked that. I kept that out at home. And he says in front of the kids, he's like, like, like shut shut the fuck up. You're a bunch of old twats or something like that. Yeah, he called them all twats. He's like, what's so funny? What's so funny? Hi. Bunch of twats. Yeah. And then he's like, I want these women. And the women are like, the women are like, they're hitting this. And then the, then he's like getting mad. He's like yelling at other people, administrators of the pageant. And then his dad comes through and the dad like leans in to the, the, the share looking one and says, like, how'd you like if your husband's dead, you know, which is actually a death threat. Oh, it's because that lazy eyed chihuahua. Oh, yeah. Turn around. Yes. Don't talk to me like that. Exactly like that. All right. You know who my husband is. Yeah. You don't talk to me like that. You know who my husband is. It's like, yeah, do you know who the chilets are? I'm like, I think they make razors, but not aside. And then the dad comes in from behind and he's like, about your husband's dead. Yeah. What the fuck? What is this show? Yeah, exactly. So, so then the women clear out and everything. So already, you know what? I'm already massively disturbed because this guy, Nick, he's a cop, okay? It's bad enough having, if you're a cop that your dad is making death threats, it's bad enough that you're calling people twats. It's bad enough that you are yelling and screaming at people, not truly even knowing the full story of what's going on. Like sure, it's bitchy of them to have a. And women. Yeah, and women. It's sure it's bitchy of them to have a bet, but he's like, he was truly like, I mean, screaming at you first. I mean, he even said later on, I don't even really know what they were talking about, but I knew that we're laughing. So I decided to go at them. It's like, you're a cop. And as a cop, you're supposed to be someone who practices the idea of like, like, like, awful. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? The point is he's not. Yeah, but I've also been pulled over by cops. Exactly. And that's what's scary is like this actually to me, it, it, it sort of spoke of a larger truth about so many cops in this country, or it feels like that. You know, like people who are on massive power trips, you know, who are crazy people. I'm not saying all cops are like that, but, you know, like, he's like, basically threatening them with the crime family or something. Exactly. It sounded like he was saying, you know this crime family because I'm connected. I'm like, really, you know, you're on TV, right? Yeah. Well, I mean, it's like a shoot first ask questions mentality. It's the same shit that's getting that's got all this publicity in New York with a cop that killed killed some dude on this on the corner. You know, you hear about that, the chokehold? It's like, you know, excessive force, shoot first, ask questions later. And it's like, this is the bad guy that he choked. Yeah. It's like, on top of the fat guy, like, yeah, because he didn't get choked. No, it wasn't a chokehold. He got crushed to death or something because he was, he couldn't breathe. Yeah. Well, either way, the point was that this guy, he was being accused of selling cigarettes illegally. And then, you know, he granted he did mouth off to the cop, but the point is this. But you don't, you don't have to die for that. Exactly. And the point is that you hear you have someone, this guy, Nick, who people's lives are actually, he affects people's lives. He can affect, he can arrest someone. He can change someone's life. He can get someone in jail, you know. And this is someone who has a position of power in society. And it's like, to me, that was actually so scary. It brought out all these emotions in me. Well, it made me scared for his wife, who's obviously terrified to eat anything. And then she believes the lady is like, you can tell, she kind of believes it and is like, what do I do? And then her husband's freaking out while they're having a, okay, so all the ladies basically pull her to dinner, they take her to dinner and they're like, your husband was completely inappropriate. And all we said is that you're ugly and disgusting and look like a man and we can't look at you up close. I mean, who cares, darling? And she was like, I don't know if my husband would say that, but he saw you laughing at me and he's just trying to protect me. Yeah. Classic excuse. Yeah. Brianna, that's from the Brianna school of excuses. Yeah. He's trying to protect the couch. Yeah. But you know, just to back up a little bit before even that, that dinner, when Nick finally gets Leah backstage after the pageant, when he tells the story, he's like, yeah, well, you know, I, there was a little bit of drama. I, you know, the, the women were, the women were laughing at you. So I just, you know, I just told them to stop, you know, and I was like, no, no, no, no, don't act like you just like very politely told them to be quiet. You know, that's not how it worked, which is what also scared me. Yeah. You called them twats and then you threatened to kill one of their husbands. Like, what the fuck? Exactly. And that's what, that's what I hate about it is that like, again, to get back what I was saying, this is also an example of something a very scary and, and that like, you have a hothead police officer that could like possibly arrest you because he is like crazy. You do one small thing wrong. He's crazy. He's gonna put you in jail. And then when it gets to when you, when you're, when you're trying to fight in front of a jury, whatever, he seems like, no, all this is all that happened. You know, it's like, it's like, to me, it's psychotic. And it's like people like that should not be allowed on a police force. And I actually think a ton of them are that's why they're passing laws that you can't film policemen. Yeah. I think he should be kicked off the police force in Rhode Island. I'm gonna say that. I'm going record to say that. He should be off the police force with that, with that sort of temper and that lack of judgment right there. They showed it right there. He may have been off duty, but you can't tell me that he doesn't exercise that same lack of judgment when he's on duty. Yeah. Cups give the shit out of me. Yeah, they really do. I mean, I know they're good cops out there. Of course. And there are so many stories of cops doing nice good things helping society, but there's also cops like that. And I unfortunately think there are too many of them. Yeah. Not cool, bro. But then, you know, it's like, then you start kind of rooting for him to shoot somebody because he's women are such moron that they all they really need to say is the truth. Your husband called us fucking twats and then he threatened to kill my husband. But they never said either one of those things is your husband yelled and screamed at us. And then that weird old whore, like, like old retired whore pony, whatever her name is. Like with Adrienne Maloof color in her hair, shut up, Lindia Monte. Yeah, that fucking retard, she's like, and then he threatened to murder me. Like what? I know that point. I was like, this show is amazing, actually, because it's like they are just full on lying. And now, like, and now all these women have lost the upper hand. Yeah. I mean, all they needed, they have the truth on their side. Why is that necessary? And then Vanessa is Vanessa the, not Vanessa. It was Vanessa, who was like, that was a lie. That was a lie. Yeah. But one of them standing up for her. I was a little chihuahua. Yeah. Chihuahua. Which is funny because Chihuahua was the one whose husband was threatened. Yeah. Yeah. So bizarre. The show is just so bizarre. It's hard to even follow because they're also full of shit. Well, the best is when Lindia Monte starts talking about like, you know, how important physical appearances and they cut to her talking. And she's like got her boobs hanging out in her pink shiny jacket with like, like weird pastels in her hair and her face all like distorted from like, like, janky Botox. You know, she's getting like the cheap Botox from like, she's getting it from like the red, the red box machine. She's like, I can get a rental or here's, oh, here's a needle of Botox that I found on the machine. I'll just put this in my face. My other favorite part was when the lazy eye Chihuahua was apologizing to Vanessa. And she's like, Vanessa's like, I demand an apology. I really need for you to apologize for us to move forward. And she's like, all right, I'm very sorry for what I did, but I said who I am, what I will, whatever. I'm sorry. And Vanessa is just staring at her while she's putting on this lip gloss really slowly, not answering. It's like, that's amazing. I want to do that in real life. It was great. And by the way, you have that woman's voice down so perfectly. I happen to do a recap for TV Gasm years ago of toddlers and tiara's because the recap are dear Krabby, who's fucking hilarious and is recapping Game of Crowns now at Trash Talk TV. So come read them because she's great. But anyway, I filled them for her once and it was that episode. It was that dumb bitch's episode about her daughter. So I've had her in my brain for a long time. And when she gets in, she gets in, she does not get out. She will never, never leave. Now what was going to be a show about beauty pageants is now going to be about husbands and crime. I mean, I don't know where the show plans on going, but it looks like it's going to cray cray. Well, that's what Rhode Island is. I mean, I don't know if, you know, I mean, Providence is a huge mafia town. Huge. It's not just people that go Providence where it's where Brown University is. No, that's Providence. Think of that terrible NBC show about sisters. Oh, it's not Providence? Yeah. Yeah, that was with Molina, Carrick, and I enemies, whatever it is. Yeah, Carrick and Akatis. Some Greek lady who's on CSI New York. Yeah. If you're not watching Game of Crowns, people do it because I know I've said this maybe a few times, but other shows are like, oh, it's the best thing since Gallery Girls, but I think this one really is the best thing since Gallery Girls. Well, I mean, honestly, I feel as an American, I feel it's kind of a hurtful show because I'm pretty pro America, and I'm rooting for the terrorists. I'm like, God, I hope they get a new soon because this, I mean, it's just time for us to go. I mean, I think it's time for another species to take over. We're done. Ron, you can't say those things. President Obama is down the street. Oh, he is? Yeah. Oh, God. Okay, I root for the terrorists to hit Providence. President Obama is literally down the street, by the way, this is a very presidential podcast for podcasting from the vicinity of President Obama. Oh, yeah. Woohoo. Can't wait for all the traffic. Yeah. I hope I get stuck behind his -- By the way, how is that for a name drop? Yeah. Oh, just President Obama is outside. You're like, guess who I saw yesterday at a bar. Obama. I saw Jacks and Horseface and Obama. Yeah. Seriously? Seriously? Seriously? Like Obama. You just have to stop. Seriously? It's like, America, I have imported new maids for all of you. You're welcome. I would love for -- executive order. I would love Horseface to run for President. She gets up there, like, like seriously? Seriously? Could she be any worse? Seriously. What we're stuck with is pretty much that -- Like Israel, you just have to stop right now. And you guys are both like -- It's just like so much, like, seriously? Seriously? I don't want to work in the same section as Dassie, but I have to sometimes. And sometimes we smoke in the alley at the same time, and that's just how it's going to be. I can't just blow her up. Like, I don't understand why everyone's against Hamas. Like, I love Hamas, especially to being like some carrots and celery into it. Like, that's like my favorite snack. Seriously? What's wrong with Hamas? Seriously? It's like saying, "I want more of him in Spanish." Hamas. All right, so we're done with those bitches. Now who do we got? Do you want to do "Lays of London" or "New Jersey"? Oh, my goodness. We have to hurry through this. Thank God both of those shows were stupid. Let's do -- We can do "Jersey" quickly because actually nothing happened on "Jersey." It was like a Christmas episode. It was another one of those episodes where we're supposed to feel so fucking sorry. Okay. There's so many lies in this show. Thank you. Let's all feel sorry for that fucking crook, Judy G, okay? Yeah. He never feels -- I'm so glad he said that where he's like, "Well, you know, treat this, you know, if things get bad and I have to say I have to go on a trip, say I have to go to college." Like, actually, you know what? God forbid you do go to real college, you know, and like get an education. God forbid. Like, that would be the day, like -- That's actually an op -- That's actually an option in prison now. It's like, I hope that you do actually visit the library and do a little reading fucking moron. I know. Exactly. I wrote your letter for Christmas. Dear tree. It's me, Joe, your husband, yeah, I'm writing. So, you know, things, kids, yeah, jail, family, love Joe. I'm like, "Wow." Could you maybe just record a voice message and send that instead, because I don't know what the fuck this is supposed to be? I think this is like, especially at the end when they're sitting by the fireplace, you know, in any state saying, like, you know, the most important thing is, you know, I think about our kids and I think about like, you know, I want to keep everything together. And, you know, the things, you know, you know, the people that are coming after us that are just like, "No, no, no." It's not that people are coming after you. It's not like a bunch of, like, some, like, a bunch of criminals just rode into town on their horses with their shotgun, they're gonna round up all the people, all the innocent you DJs and shoot them and tie them up and abduct them. No, no. You were going at -- You were being the predator. You went after people. You defrauded people, okay? And now you're getting caught. They're not coming after you. They have caught you. After fucking hurricane. I mean, Jesus Christ, man. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. If you don't want to break up the family, if you don't want to, like, missing your daughters grew up, how about you, like, don't defraud people, you know what, 'cause, you know, those people, they lost money and now maybe they're -- maybe their family's broken up as a result of it. How about that? I am so excited. I wish that instead of writing a letter to Teresa, he had just read Sonya's letter from Real Housewives of New York where she was, like, giving that speech to that party that was 10 pages. Yeah. She's like, "You, who've done my nails, you're part of my team." And that's important because you're not just you, now you're you and me together. We're you and me. We. What? Yeah. He's at tree. So, you know, when we were at the Jersey Shore, my aura, it was low. But now my aura is high, so thanks, tree. Some of you -- some of you call yourselves a faceless. Some of you are contractors, but to me, you use all, you use all me. What the fuck is with Teresa speaking of defrauding and stealing from people who are innocent? What's up with Teresa suddenly having a dessert company? Did we already talk about that? 'Cause that is so gross. I don't know. Tommy has a dessert company now. What? Yeah. That is so cold, man. That is so cold. Now, granted, Kathy blew that one. Yeah. She hasn't done crap and she doesn't have a dessert company. She has cannoli kids, but I think we're taking off the market like a week after they entered the market, but still -- Well, she's stupid because Kathy, the first season she was on, she made all these desserts and everyone's like, "Oh, my God, I want to eat Kathy's desserts." And so who, like, how does she get some brand advice? She relies on her gas station owner, husband, and as a result, she's never able to capitalize on it. Oh, by the way, I'll tell you who I think will capitalize on this sort of thing will be that guy, whatever his name is, one of the twins, husband, the one who has the restaurant and is teaching his son how to cook. Oh, yeah. I was like, "You know, I enjoyed watching him teach his son." And I was like, "It's just sort of cool, you know." What the fuck kind of teaching was that? Who pours Grey Goose on a steak? Well, that was the dumbest thing I've ever seen. Is that true? I agree. That seems strange. I'm like, "What sort of..." That guy doesn't know what he's doing. But I liked how he was, you know, he was, I don't know, I still enjoyed watching him cook. I was like, "Hey, you want to be a star?" All right, here. You want to be a star, like me walk around the restaurant and have people know you just can't walk in. Yeah, gotta know what you're doing, kid. Throw this Grey Goose on the steak and start a fire. Whoa! People love a show, kid. Like, you're a fucking moron, dude. And then his wife, which I think is Terese, I can't remember. She's like, "There's no, there's no professor, there's no teacher, there's no no one who could teach him as much as his own father." I'm like, "Actually, there's probably, like, 30,000 professors that could teach him more." Yeah, no, kid. Yeah. You know, I think specifically, a professor can teach him more. That's what they do. That's their job. They teach. And they teach you things you don't know. That's what a professor does. Oh, my God. I'm trying to see what the name is. Rhino, her name is Rhino. Restaurant Little Italy, Rhino. I'm trying, you know, Reno's Italian restaurant, the Bronx, nice little Italian restaurant. I'm trying to find a Yelp review for this shit because I really want to read this little Italy restaurant. But you know what? I'll have to find that. Well, the little Italy restaurant is all tourist drops anyway, right? It's not like there's like, not like that's like the best Italian in the city. Yeah. I just, I just have a feeling those Yelp reviews are scary. I also, I liked the twins mom, Santa, who was like, at one point, I forgot it was, but like it wasn't a, it wasn't a, to us and Nicole, I think. And Nicole's like, mom was saying this and then Santa's like, I never said that. Now, now, now I never said that. Oh, I love the father. The father to me seemed like an old Jewish guy. He was like, what we have here is tradition. Tradition is what keeps us alive. Tradition, tradition, tradition. I like the moms. I thought this was going to be fun. Yeah. No, I like the parents. Those are good parents. They're funny. And then everything else in the show, there was nothing. I mean, what they made, Amber made gingerbread houses, Joe and Melissa did, they stuck their tongue on poles. I mean, there's nothing. I mean, oh, and those two fucking liars, oh, well, you know, we're building a new house because we just like to move a lot like they don't have to fucking move, like you're living in a model homes that are made out of cardboard, basically. It's going to be remember last year when the granite was made out of like, like paper. Well, it's going to be like, it's going to be like, um, spinal tap, you know, be like, these are the plans for our new house and it looks all big and everything. But what's going to happen to the house to be like a dog house? It's going to be just like 70 wide, just built down to see how it would be a doll house. Well, she keeps saying, she keeps saying, oh, well, we sold our house. No, you didn't. We rented that house and the person who rented it won't pay the rent because it was falling apart. And it's a bunch of crap that they won't fix. So they still haven't sold their house. So they can't build like they're totally. How are we such liars? How are we supposed to believe you're building a new house when you're like, when you've now like put all your money into the garbage business? Okay. That's you clearly don't have the funds for it. This is like Chateau Shire, part two. Oh, I am looking at Angelo's. I need to really stop this. There was a sharp thing the size of a staple and probably used to rat vegetables together in my okra. Okay. Why they serve me okra at an Italian place anyway? No. Karabas is better. Yikes. They actually do have mostly decent reviews. I mean, you can always find shitty things on Yelp, but I just want something like some guy kept yelling at us and walking through and throwing vodka on our steaks, but I guess that's not going to happen. Well, it's like the reviews for when the man's okay to open up their stupid restaurant in Hoboken and the reviews were just god awful. Okay. So what else happened on Jersey? Dina wa wa. Her fucking kids going to school really. Yeah. Congrats. Well, maybe she's not going to school because she doesn't get into NYU next week. Well, so you just wrote on a rock that you didn't give a fuck what the universe. You just told the universe, I don't care to do whatever you want. So, what do you, I mean, what kind of intention is that? Dina, I don't think you're studying this properly. Like, when you form intentions, you form intentions. Like the girl had it right. She's like, I want to go to NYU and she's like, just tell the universe whatever. No, well, the universe is going to give you a bunch of crap. You know who else tells the universe that? Almost people. I don't care, just give me whatever you feel like and the universe doesn't feel like giving you shit. Okay. I encountered a really annoying homeless person today. Don't get me started. Don't even get this time. Don't even get me started. He had plastic surgery. I was like, what sort of homeless person has plastic surgery? What's what the fucking iPhones and like venti eyes frappuccinos? I'm like seriously. He had a cell phone too. This guy, he had a cell phone, he had plastic surgery, but he was clearly homeless. I mean, he was homeless beyond homeless, but he clearly was someone. My theory was that he was once like some like self involved gay who, because he seemed very gay. He was like, he was sassy and he probably got onto meth, probably got onto the meth scene and now he's like homeless. He's homeless with his like, with his male plastic surgery. I'm laughing at him, but he was, I shouldn't laugh at his misfortune. But I have to say it was really like, he was like, yelly and everyone's face and it's just like, please. And homeless people are the best because if you really like them, you can find them on IMDB. Most of them are just actors, you know, it's like, I recognize you. Oh my God. Lifetime. By the way, I just want to say I want to, I'm on our Facebook page, Watch For Crapids, facebook.com, Watch For Crapids and I just wanted to just give a one quick reference to New York. Madonna Hines says medically speaking to esophageal reflux does not cause asthma. So I'm hoping that Madonna is a medical professional because I'm relying on her. But if she says it again, she says reflux doesn't cause asthma and that's what that's what Aviva was saying. Of course. What a stupid fucking thing to say. She has a reflex. I have asthma because of my acid reflex. What? I've never heard that. I love Tiffany, uh, Angledow, Angledow, Angledow posted, posted, you remember how before I said in New York, pickles was like giving that horrified look, it wasn't at the party. It was when she was standing in the other room listening to Sonya try to tell off Luan and the look on pickles face is hysterical. So it's like she's freaking out. I love it. So thank you, Tiffany. I love that. I love that we're just talking about it and you posted it without even hearing that I was talking about it. Exactly. Like her aura was like shimmering. She was like, yeah, it's like the most random screenshot to post and it's awesome. Okay. And I also love both of us posting pictures of Tamara all week. It's like Tamara's horrible face week. Well, when she was crying, I mean, she just looks so grotesque is like, I'm seeing visions of Elsa. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think that picture came from Madonna too. One of you posted the original one I posted. So thank you. I took the one that's up there now. I took with my own phone. So oh no, I met the, uh, the one I posted the other day. Oh, yes. Yes. Someone did post it. Do you want to know what the ladies of London? Yeah. Let's go to the lads of lens because this one will have time. I mean, New Jersey is notoriously long. It's like the longest housewives ever. Like they, I think their last season had like 26 episodes. Yes. Jersey and Atlanta are always super long. Yeah. So we'll have plenty of time and the fake drama will be coming down the mountain. So we'll see more of that later. Who cares right now? Lads of lens. Wow. Jeez. This was a, this was a snooze of a season finale. This was like nothing happened. It's basically like Caprice being like, I'm having a baby. And I don't know what to do. I'm really excited about it. So, uh, the baby's here and whoa, I've been waiting 41 years for this. Wow. Oh God. Caprice is the worst. And yeah, it was, it was just dull. I mean, there was, I mean, the argument at the top of the episode, you could barely, basically it's women just keep coming in and coming out and like, what do you owe a bully? You said that I was a bully. I was not being a bully. I was really saying it was rude. And then when I was like, I can't believe that she said that about me, score score score. Can you believe what they're saying about me score? Like, I can't believe that she would say that about me that I'm a bully. I'm not a bully. I can't believe she would say that. You have bad manners. You have bad manners. Oh, yeah. Oh, you're terribly behaved. What terrible manners. Oh manos, manos, manos, manos, manos, manos. Score score. Caprice, like it was just me. It was me who said it. Okay. It was such a stupid argument. I mean, but I love the way Caroline dismissed her. She's like, I'd like you to leave my house now. Goodbye. Goodbye. You called me a bully in my house. I think it's time for you to go. Goodbye. It was like, I will go. Hopefully you have a car for me to take me home. I mean, Caprice, like, and you know, that Caroline chick is right. She's like, look, I hate the bitch. I still made her a vegan meal, you know? Yeah. Oh, she showed up two hours late to my party. She doesn't. She doesn't eat it or acknowledge that I had it made. She's like, she's awful. But my thing is like, she's always been awful and you were fine with being friends with her before. I can't imagine that she's just become a fame more awful human being. Like, why was she okay before and now she's not? I feel like people in England don't like her, you know, I mean, I feel like she's one of those celebrities that people like, like, there she is again, you know, and Caroline should never have been friends with her in the first place. I mean, the woman was on the surreal life of crying out loud. She's so beneath Caroline, like, give me a break. Well, yeah. I mean, but then on the other hand, Caroline really just runs a gift service. It's not like... Yeah, but Caroline has at least plugged into British society, you know, and she's awesome. I really like her. She is awesome and she's so much better than Caprice. And I like how she'll just walk right up and say exactly what's on her mind and she doesn't have to like yell and scream at you. She's just like, that was rude. I don't appreciate it. Yeah. And then stupid Caprice, I didn't ask them for a baby shower. They offered. And then it's like cut to Caprice asking for a baby shower. Yeah. So stupid. The whole baby shower gate was like, so dumb. And Caprice... But then at the end, it was like, no one ended up throwing a baby shower for Caprice. That was it. She just stuck in Hacienda Heights with her mom and Costco. Yeah. So that was a pretty lame, sad ending. And I'm wondering if that show's gonna come back because I don't even think it has a reunion. I don't know. Well, because the thing is that the next show, which I'm not gonna watch... Jersey Bell? Yeah. That doesn't start in two weeks. So there's gonna be something on next week. I don't know. I don't know what it's gonna be. I will not be watching that either. No. I'm not gonna watch Jersey Bell. Sorry. I'm not gonna watch whatever else there is. That's like Jersey Girl in Alabama. Those are two accents that can kiss my ass. I'm not listening to either one of those. Sorry. Those generic shows that Bravo was up there, there was that show about that divorce woman that was on this summer who was actually gonna be on Real House as a New Jersey. Oh yeah. Tying the knot. Yeah. Untying the knot. Yeah. What abs? What abs. Yeah. Lays of London, I thought the show started off really well, then sort of sagged a little bit, then like perked up with a good dinner party and then it sort of like, you know... That show could have been fun, but it was just too much like people trying to behave themselves. And I don't need that in my life. It's not why I watch Bravo. Yeah. If I wanted to watch a bunch of uptight bitches, I'd just go home for a bit. They also need more British women, like, you know, you, you, especially once Annabelle Broker Pelvis and was like stuck in like a farmhouse up in the middle of the country, you know, and she was taken out of the equation, then you just have Caroline being a Brit and being the only like British person there and yeah, then it's just like Americans trying to fit in. And that's always just sad. Yeah. And like Marissa is so nice. She's like, she seems like such a lovely person, but I don't necessarily want to throw on what she, and I'm speaking out of the side of my mouth like she does, like on a water on material. Yeah. Yeah. And Noel is, Noel is just, Noel is awful. Noel is just disgusting. And I let, uh, how much did her guy end up being worth 20 million? Yeah, probably still wasn't good enough for her. Yeah. She's probably like, well, she got a ring and said they got engaged. Like I couldn't even pay attention to those anything. Score, score, score, score, engaged, so we're going to get married. Yeah. That's the worst. I'm kind of glad that's over. And we are changing over. We've got Jersey back. That'll be getting crazy soon. So this stupid one, New York is over, ladies of London is over. What's next? Is there another housewives to fill our life below deck is coming back. Oh God. Do I have to watch that? Yeah. I hate that show. Well, can we just have a back come back for the summer to talk to you about that because I will make it a low priority. We won't discuss it every week. We'll discuss it if we have time watching maids clean toilets. It's giving me out of here. No interest in that. It's like, let's watch that reality show about bus boys. Sounds great. Hey, you didn't take water to 23. He didn't down. You didn't take water. That's Vanderpump rules in case you forgot. Oh, no, there's not bus boys on there. I wish there were. Oh, there is. There's a hot one. There's a bus boy spinoff. I could use that. There's a hot bus boy on Vanderpump rules, but you get 20 percent of your tips. I only make 20 percent of your 20 percent. What the fuck you want from me? Get your own damn water. That bus boy. I cannot believe he talked to me like that. We need to call a doctor because he's having a psychotic break and it can be called under the bus. Under the bus with a basket of bread. I think it was, by the way, I think it was on which show was it because there were so many shows where someone, one of these shows this week, someone was like, don't throw me under the road. I think it was Caprice or if he was on ladies and alondas like, don't throw me under the road. Don't throw me in the bus. They're like, totally messed up the most overwrought cliche in reality TV. Don't toss me on the trolley tracks, right, darling? Don't throw me in front of a lorry. Skawl. Skawl. Skawl. Skawl. Skawl. All right, so let's end this biotch. Let's end it. Okay, everyone, please, please, please come and like our Facebook page, facebook.com/watchwhatcraphens. We have, we have, we continue to get new likes like Sunny K. Mary and Daniel Larehopped and Wendy Barnard and Lisa G. Starchar Wenick and Sarah Webb and Andrea Lewis-Miggy. Just so many people who are liking it, we really appreciate it and for the people who have been around for a long time, we appreciate that too. But come like our page. You can find me at beside blog on all platforms and also besideblog.com where I'm posting stuff about Big Brother this summer. Ronnie is posting about Big Brother too on trashtalktv.com and his Twitter is trashtweettv. And you can find him on various social media platforms, but either typing in Ronnie Karam or trash talk TV and you'll see what you find. I think a good way to put it. You found a nice, simple, easy way to put it. I like that. Yeah, you look for one of those two things and you'll find it. So subscribe to us on iTunes, give us a review. We haven't asked for a review for a while. That was Matt's whole role. He would always ask for the five-star review on iTunes, so someone do that. And then subscribe to us on SoundCloud too and you know when you subscribe to us when the podcast is uploaded, it comes directly to you. You don't have to seek it out, it comes to you. So thanks everyone for listening, thanks Ronnie and I guess we'll speak to you all next week. Bye! It's over, it's over. If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the internet. The folks behind the side show network have launched a new YouTube channel called Wait for It. It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza Schleisinger, slicing driving friends with it for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there and I still have a hard time with the last name Liza. Our very own Owen Benjamin, that's me, takes you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes and much more. You don't have to wait any longer, just go to youtube.com/waitforaccomedy. There's no need to wait for it anymore because it's here and it's funny. And I love you. To the insurance company that's spurned me, our time together has come to an end. It's not me, it's you. We both know what I'm talking about. 15 minutes ago, I began courting Geico. It was just the easiest thing I've done since buttering my biscuit at breakfast. Not only have I saved hundreds of dollars on my car insurance, but also the future tiers you were sure to impose. My heart and my coverage now belong to Geico, sincerely not yours, Tara in telly ride. Geico. 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance. If you like watch what crap ends, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at Wondery.com/survey. Have you ever wondered who created that bottle of sriracha that's living in your fridge? Or why nearly every house in America has at least one game of Monopoly? Introducing the best idea yet, a brand new podcast from Wondery and Teaboy, about the surprising origin stories of the products you're obsessed with and the bold risk takers who brought them to life. Like did you know that Super Mario, the best-selling video game character of all time, only exists because Nintendo couldn't get the rights to Popeye? Or Jack, that the idea for the McDonald's Happy Meal first came from a mom in Guatemala from Pez dispensers to Levi's 501s to Air George's. Discover the surprising stories of the most viral products. Plus, we guarantee that after listening, you're gonna dominate your next dinner party. So follow the best idea yet on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to the best idea yet early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. It's just the best idea yet. (upbeat music)