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Don't let someone steal your great idea, register a domain name now and put your idea online. GoDaddy is offering one new or transfer.com for the low price of 295, whether you're building your dream business or starting a website for fun. Is it goDaddy.com and enter WWC295 at checkout. It's go time. Some limitations apply to website for details. Again, the code is WWC295, get it, because it's like watch what Crapins 295, because it's $2.95 for whatever you're going to buy, well, it has to be a new.com or transfer. Oh, it's just got that. I'm glad you explained it. So original, why don't you just start a website about how original that deal is? So everyone, goDaddy.com, WWC295, and you get a new or transfer.com for the low price of 295. Hey, everyone. Welcome to Watch What Crapins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we all just love so much. I'm Ben Mandelker from B-Side Blog. And if you're wondering, I am not actually recording from the middle of Jurassic Park. I am at my parents' house, which might as well be in Jurassic Park because it's just as remote. And that's also why my audio is not as good as usual. You can find me at B-Side Blog on Twitter and Instagram and all those fun places. And joining me this week, as always, is my faithful compatriot, the one and only, Erani Karam. Hi, Ronnie. Geez, it sounds like you've been around an awkward marriage all weekend. Who says that, "my faithful companion"? Faithful companion? Well, I thought it was compatriot. You could say, "Oh, okay. My faithful compatriot." Well, I'm happy to report my parents' marriage is not awkward at all. Okay, good. It's after 44 years. Wow. I was worried. I'm not anymore. Yeah. Yeah, Mandelkers. Maybe my words are coming out strangely because I've just been spat at by the monster that killed Newman. I think your words are coming out funny because you're with your parents, and so you're trying to use as big words as possible, so you don't have to apologize for doing a housewise podcast. Yeah, probably that too. Yeah. So, Ronnie, I'll take it from here, okay? You can find me at TrashTalkTV.com. There's a lot of Bravo blogs. Personally, I'm on Twitter at Ronnie Karam or TrashTalkTV on Twitter @TrashTweetTV, or come over to my YouTube channel, which is TrashTalkTV, but T-E-E-V-E-E. And watch some survivors of Big Brother videos, Big Brother is about to start up again, so those will be happening again this year. And that's all for me. Thanks. Oh, I'm so excited for Big Brother. And in the meantime, if we haven't thrown enough social media crap at you, here's one last one, which is to like our podcast on Facebook, you can go to facebook.com/watchworkcrapins. You can like it. We have a bunch of likes. We are almost at 2,500 likes. Someone that like helped get us over the edge. The recent people who have liked us are Amber Willis, Lisa Olin, Melissa Thier, or Thorton, Andrea Samid. I'm probably butchering everyone's name. Sakeena Hano Winter, Dan Go, Dan Gough, I'm not sure. Oh, here's one, Lourdes Alcaras. You guys all have strange names. It's very difficult for me to say. Yeah, you guys should definitely come over because the Facebook page is really fun. For a couple of reasons. We post on the nights of the housewife shows, so people come and talk to each other. And then we post our shows there, so people instead of commenting on stitch or whatever, will just go on there and discuss the show, which is fun. So it's a place to tell us to fuck off if you need to, which is always more than welcome to happen a couple of times this week. And you know what? Honestly, I'm thankful you guys listened to the show, and I'm thankful to be told to fuck off. Sometimes I wonder why I'm not being, I wonder, like, what's wrong? Why is nobody listening to the show? Are they just commenting on Facebook? Why are you not being told to fuck off more? I feel like I should have been pulled off the internet a long time ago. Yeah. Some of the reason I do this is because I'm just kind of an insensitive prick, and somehow doing it in a comedic way has always gotten me by. And sometimes it feels miserably, so sorry when that happens. But, you know, come tell me to whatever, and thanks for listening to the show. Love you guys. And that's all for this week. Thanks, everyone. Bye. But yeah, today on The What's What Craphens page, so it's facebook.com/watchupcraphens. And today, I mean, what, 20 minutes ago I put, we're doing a show and there's like 31 comments of shit to talk about already. So yeah, come join that page. And also on Twitter, we are at What Craphens. Yeah. So please, everyone, come join us, help us get to 2,500 likes, that'd be fun. And then after that, we can shoot for 10,000, or am I just being too greedy? I don't know, because they changed the way that, oh, we're 2476. That's so bad, guys, that's only 24 more people. And then we will only have 7,500 more people to reach 10,000. Wow. Why don't we just do what everyone else doesn't buy that shit? Yeah, maybe we should. But you know, it's funny, Jill's Aaron. Yeah, exactly. Well, there's one thing that we can't buy ourselves into, and that is London Society. You guys, London Society is the only thing that's hard to penetrate on the ladies of London, because those slags have more holes than them than a six pack. It's been used for like air rifle practice. So I'm not proposing necessarily that we talk about ladies of London first, but I do want to say that there was some good TV on Bravo this week. I mean, there was a lot, a lot of stuff thrown at us. And I enjoyed actually almost all of it. There was a lot this week. There was so much this week. It was uncomfortable. I sat here wondering, like my neighbor hates, so I found out my neighbor hates me because now that my windows open with the air conditioning units stuck in it, her bedroom's right on the other side of that. And so she has to listen to whatever is going on in my apartment. And so I don't really blame her. And I know that every time another housewives theme comes on, she just gets more. And more and more homophobic, but I felt so guilty this week because there was so much. There was so much good stuff. So what do you let's just skip gossip? Was there any noteworthy gossip that we have to talk about? I don't even know. I couldn't even I could not spend any time reading about these bitches because there's like we've got like 30 slags we've got to follow right now on the TV. So it's crazy. So where do you want to start? Well, I took notes, but they're all I mean, there was so much it looks like if I ever commit suicide, people are going to have so many theories because stuff like this is right. It's written down. These son has a band-aid put feet on couch. What does that mean? It means Brianna has a band-aid because motherfucker put his feet on the couch and Ryan beat the crap out of him. Who else exactly did what that means that poor kid is getting well, we'll get to that kid at the moment. Ladies have London. All right. Let's do this in London. Let's honor the segue that I created. I love this show right out of that. I feel like this is the show. This is like if you added 15 to 20 years on all the gallery girls and sent them across the pond. It's the show that we would have. I didn't watch a preview when it came out because I was like, I just couldn't. I was like, we'll deal with it when we have to. I had a really bad attitude about it. And wow, was that unfounded? Because what a hilarious fucking show. I had no idea that it was all American women. And I didn't know it was like, okay, so if you guys didn't watch it, it's half American women who have had to move to London because of their husbands basically. Yeah. The other three, one is like a legit celebrity in London. One was best friends with Alexander McQueen, and she's kind of like the dumpy ex model. I mean, her dumpy model pictures or I mean, would rival Ramona's any day. She sort of looks like the cross between Shenandoah and one of the little girls from the movie in America with the little Irish girls and the current day Julie Andrews without me makeup. Or what's her face from what's the name of the British actress with the black hair who's on 30 Rock the first season and then she's also in Matchpoint. Her. Julie Davis? No, no. She's like, she's a very, well, she's a very good actress. I'll have to go to Rob. Anybody? Judy Dench, you know. No, I can't remember her name at all, but her too. Yeah, really great reference at my point. So yeah, so her and then what's the other, Emily McCumber. Yeah, my brain can't register that right now. You know why? Because I put vodka in my Starbucks and that's the kind of night we're going to have tonight. We're doing this a little later than usual. I'm going to a cocktail party later where I don't know anybody. And so I put some vodka in my coffee and we'll see where it leads us. Oh, yeah, the other lady on Ladies of London is a, a, a separate. Oh, okay. She's a, she's American girl. Wait, wait, wait. First there's Caprice, who's like a celebrity. She's, she's an American who's been living in London for 18 years and has been accepted as an honorary Brit because she's famous. And she has a fake British accent like Madonna and yet at the same time she's from Hacienda Heights, California. Oh my God. Okay. So this woman looked like, if you guys watch the Real Housewives of Canada, what was it called? Sydney. Ralph has the Sydney. What was it? Did you ever watch it? I didn't. There's Melbourne also, which is on this. No, I didn't watch Melbourne. No, it was in Australia. It was Canada. Well, how far is it? Canada. I don't know. So that one, it looks like the X pop star from that one. And she even talks like her, but she is like an ultra slut. And she's really stupid and shallow. And she says things like, I'm so famous. When I came here, they accepted me. I mean, I was such a star that I made, I mean, they would just take pictures. And I'd make like $15,000 an hour with photographers taking my. How does that happen? Like, every time they take a picture, like someone puts a deposit on Facebook, he dumps slack. You did not ever make $15,000 a second getting your picture taken. I mean, for crying out loud, her name is Caprice. Okay. She's basically, she's named after a Chevrolet that's used as a cop car. Her face looks like an earthworm being pushed through a colander. She's a poor man's Joly Richardson. Oh my God. Joly Richardson is kind of a poor man's Joly Richardson. I know. Joly Richardson is like a poor man's Uma Thurman or something. Yeah. So the basic point of this show is that everybody really wants to be a part of London society, but the Americans can't because they're just not allowed in London because they have things like titles. Yeah. And also, let's be honest, Americans are trashy. I mean, one of my favorite parts about this show is that it's basically an hour long of snobby Brits talking about how awful Americans are. And for some reason, I'm on the British people's side. Well, the thing is like, you're not, at least we have dentists here. And you know what, you guys, you walk around wearing fucking plaid asch gods when you're like 40 years old, you dress like we dress our five year olds to go to Catholic school. You know, like what is that catechism class or like, I don't know, I'm Jewish. Well, whatever, you guys have your gay children dressing too. All right. I've seen it. It's a whole different society where people go look at horse races and you're not allowed to cheer or act happy because you'll look like a ghost American. Well, one of my favorite things that Caprice did, as long as we're still talking about Caprice is she's gotten knocked up by this boyfriend and she's looking at the ultrasound. Like, she must be, I don't know, like three months pregnant, four months. And they've got the ultrasound going and she's like, oh, he's so handsome. He's so handsome. I'm like, lady, it's like a grainy picture of a fetus. I'm sorry. Like, I know what handsome is and that's just not it. He may grow up to be handsome and he may be a cute baby, but he's a fetus and this is not handsome. Yeah. Right now, there's just some sperm in your gut and it's really gross to look at. It's a lot. Yeah. It's like, her accent's gonna be hard because it's like, not really British and not really American. It's just sort of slurry and generally European at this moment. Yeah. She's still pretty American, but the thing is, one thing where they're really catching up to us, those faces. Oh my God. I walked into Whole Foods West Hollywood the other day and get me a little salad bar and it just happened to be crazy hour where everybody with those squeezed back faces was in line and it just was so creepy walking past that line and that's what this show looks like. Yeah. Creepy, creepy faces. Even the most beautiful one who I think is like the only legit, like, pretty celebrity Brit, right? Like the blonde one who's like a horrible meaner. No line? Yeah. Who's gonna be awful? You know? Well, she's awful slash awesome. Like Liz from Gallery Girls. The one that we're supposed to really hate because, you know, she's like, Asian stepped on my painting, but if you haven't watched Gallery Girls, go back and watch it because it's just one of like a million gems on that show, but I'd like her but, you know, she's not like, if I may be catty, she's not that pretty and actually what's funny is I'm on the Bravo page right now looking at the cast so I can get their names and as high as as much as she wants to talk about how upper class she is and how she's part of the aristocracy and how she's friends with the royals, her picture makes her look like a perky accountant from Kansas. Oh, poor thing. I think she's actually really pretty. She's just got that like, yeah, she does have kind of a perky all American look, but then she's got like sleeping bag lips where they're just like a giant, like a fat person in the sleeping bag. Well, apparently Caroline is has some sort of fame in London as a Brit as a socialite because this other girl, this American Marissa, who at first I thought seemed pretty cool, when she meets Caroline, she just up and kisses her ass. We're talking like a Viva to Carol style. She's like, Oh my God, like, I just love your nose and I love your bags. I went to your website. I love your website and I love your Twitter. It's so great and your hair is wonderful and love your dress and I love that mold you have on your neck. Yeah. So let me I'm watching the video right now. Well, I have it pulled up on my screen because I forget stuff easily. So I figured just bring up the video. So okay, this is what they said about her. Caroline is a member of the Vesti family that combined wealth is over one billion dollars. She runs. Hold on. Caroline runs an elite gift service that caters to luxury connoisseurs. Okay. Makes her sound like she has like a madam right? Yeah. Basically. Yeah. And I don't understand if you're so rich why you're working. I don't buy it. There's something. Yeah. And on top of that, if I may, I couldn't help but notice that she made one of my people AKA a Jew and I feel like if there's something that I really suspect about the royals and aristocracy is that they hate Jews. Right? That's just me. Well, no, I think that that's maybe slight Jewish paranoia, but it's not that everyone hates you guys. We're fucking jealous. I mean, you guys are your money management skills are beyond belief. Listen, I'm maybe I'm just still reeling over Prince Harry wearing a Nazi uniform to Halloween, but I just feel like that's a bold move for Caroline. Well, he tried making it up for you with all those naked pictures. That's true. That's true. And I did welcome that. Watching that, that waitress from San Diego, which kind of made him hotter, is that strange? No. Okay. I mean, listen, I applaud her. I applaud her for being open minded and everything and I think everyone, her family made billions of dollars. They made some bad investments. She married a Jew to fix it all. That's how I'm looking at it. You know what? Then she's very smart. Exactly. That's what we do. Okay. So now Capri. So now I'm looking at all these. The only thing that really moves on Capri still her mouth moves like a puppet because like her job hinges still and then her eyes can open and close. And so that's all she can do is open and close her eyes really wide and it's really hilarious to watch her. She's got Kyle Richards lizard licked where she's always licking her lips because they're so numb. She can't tell if like saliva's drooling down her face and then her eyes blink a lot. And that's pretty much it with her. But watching her talk about being so famous and then seeing pictures from the 80s and then back to her scary alien face. I'm going to love this show. I know. It's so wonderful. All right. Next cast member. Who's next? Okay. Hold on. I'm fast forwarding. Oh, she has, by the way, she has some kind of lingerie company in there. Like it makes six million dollars a year and I'm like, that's not a lot of money, right? I mean, if you're like super rich and in London, six million dollars doesn't buy you anything. It costs like double what it costs there as New York double double. What am I trying to say? Oh, my God. My English. Good. Okay. There you are. Ben. I'm back. By the way, I really have to apologize. I don't know. But I really like for the listeners who have to hear these noises behind me, I'm so sorry. There's nothing I can do about it. They're like bullfrogs going on now. It's truly sounds like the jungle outside my window and it's it's a situation. It's actually quite peaceful. It sounds nice. Is it? Yeah, it's like really. I was afraid that I was like, it'll be annoying our listeners. So now I'm watching Capri and the bitchy English one with turn it Caroline. I'm watching them have lunch and it's really funny watching them open their mouths in slow motion because seriously, nothing else will open on their face. Okay. They're like those Guinness commercials. Those little animated guys and they talk their lips go up and down in the chocolate. They're like hungry hippos. Okay. Now I'm looking at the terrible model pictures of this God bless her. Is this Noel or no, Annabelle Annabelle Nielsen? Yeah. And I'm like, I'm like Alexander McQueen. We were here. I was his muse. We are best friends. We were best friends. I don't know what I'll do without some. I don't know at all. I can't live without him. And everyone's like poor darling. She hasn't been the same since Alexander. When was that? Like four years ago, three or four years ago. Okay. I mean, I'm going to take it over because that's really mean, but I don't know. Could a hobby? Something else. Go meet other people. I know. But you know, I like her because she seems like the most stuck up out of all of them. She was like, later on in the episode when they went to a pole match and the stupid American, the stupidest of them all, Juliet was like, it was like, oh, do they hit the ball with a club? And she's like, oh, club. I had blue. She says. And I was like, it's a mallet. It's not gold. It's a mallet. And Juliet's like, oh, like a croquet mallet. She's like, not quite. Yeah. I love that she's just like, purely miserable. Yeah. I love that she's not. There's no fakeness about her. She's like, hello, I'm Annabelle, I'm miserable all the time. Alexander was my darling. He's dead now. I don't want to leave my home. I want to kill myself. If I kill myself, just read Alexander McQueen articles to discover why. It's like, Jesus, lady, lighten up a little over there. I know. She's like, the only reason why I have not to kill myself is because the entertainment of watching an American figure out the difference between a club and a mat is too great for me to die. One thing I wrote about Caprice is they shove under her, you know, her titles. They're like, Caprice, she's date. She's an ex-model. She's dated Rod Stewart and Dennis Quaid. Wow. Really at the big time. That's quite a resume. Especially Rod Stewart there. That's like showing up at a fine dining restaurant with Denny's on your resume. Get the fuck out of here. Dennis Quaid, wait, stop. Dennis Quaid is actually pretty hot. Dennis Quaid, he is actually really hot. Dennis Quaid has lived longer than a turtle. Dennis Quaid may look like a piece of worn out leather right now, but it's like a hot piece of leather. Dennis Quaid looks like one of those new trash bags that flex. Have you seen those? They look small, but they get really big, the more trashy shove in them. They're all like dimpled and like awful. I think he reminds me of Crave Beef Jerky, which is that it looks like gross and, you know, old and it doesn't look like anything you would ever want to put in your mouth, but the truth is that it tastes fabulous. I don't care what beef jerky tastes like. Little mustard on it, it's fantastic. And I'm not advocating that people try to lick or chew on Dennis Quaid, but the point is that even leathery things could have great qualities to them. Beef jerky, Dennis Quaid. I'm still mad at him for messing up with Meg Ryan, you know? I thought they were going to last forever. No, no, no. He didn't mess up with Meg Ryan. She messed up with him. What'd she do? She cheated on him with Russell Crowe. She did not. Oh, yes, she did. Oh, yes, she doesn't even take baths. Well, look at Meg Ryan. Look at her face. Does her face look like it takes a bath? Oh, poor Meg Ryan. It looks like that's all she does. You know that she's like, "It's been five minutes. I need to exfoliate. I'll be right back." You're requiring a bathroom. Oh, it is. Meg Ryan, I'm doing a search right now. Meg Ryan cheating. That's one of the first things that comes up, Meg Ryan cheating. Yeah, she like was a cheater. Or like he doesn't cheat, he's always in Austin with his air quotes banned. Well, Meg Ryan's got those old ladies hanging all over him. Look at this. There's a headline from 2011 that goes, "Is Meg Ryan a home wrecker again?" Oh, Meg Ryan. God bless her. She had daddy issues. Uh oh, that's jumping to Rahaswas in New York. Your parents are dead. Okay, so the next one is from Ladies of London. This is... Let me see. Who's this bitch? Noelle, I guess it's her name. Noelle. And Noelle is sort of like a poor woman's Porsche de Rossi, although she's actually... Noelle's really very pretty, so it makes it sound like she's not pretty. I think she looks like that porn star who is in John Waters movies. What's her name? Tracey Lords. Yes. I think she looks like Tracey Lords. Maybe. Yeah, I guess I could see some of it. Maybe she's... Imagine a dick in her mouth. Imagine a dick in her mouth. Oh, okay. Right? Do you see it? Anyone? Okay. So, she's... She... Noelle is her name. She's your typical gold digger hoe who's never done anything, but like she describes her life as how hard she's worked to get where she is, which basically means she got off the plane, started fucking rich guys, and she's finally found like a nice apartment to live in. It's like congratulations. Wow. And she's apparently screwing with this guy who is like beyond rich. He's massively, massively rich, but he's a little gatsby-ish in that he doesn't like... His wealth comes from mysterious ways, so mysterious that he was thrown in jail for a few months as a result of it. Yeah, he wouldn't give up his partner's tycoon jailed over divorce cash secrets. Wife says bankrupt has two billion dollars hidden. I mean, two billion dollars? I mean, go for it. You did hit kind of the jackpot girl, except his wife is probably going to get most of it. So, that's what he's fighting now. Villain divorce court, trying not to let his wife have everything. So all of his money is tied up, and so she won't marry him. And she's giving him an ultimatum to either get this court stuff finished or she's going to find another old man because she can't wait until she's older. I mean, I don't know how young she thinks she is, but... I don't know. She basically is just a classic gold digger at the end of the day. Yeah. I'm looking at her face right now, and she is Tracy Lords played by J-Laugh. J-Laugh. She's got that shed-eyed thing about her. Well, what was funny about Noelle is that she committed the biggest faux pas of all, which is that she wore a hat to opening day at the polo grounds, and obviously you only wear a hat to ask God. So this caused a lot of derision with the Brits, and my favorite was Caroline, who was just like, "Oh, it's almost as if that outfit is wasted here. I wish we could just transpose it to ascot." And she was like, "Oh, thanks." I love the other girls like, "No, she actually just tore you apart." Yeah. Hello. We learned that in America because we have My Fair Lady here, everybody, but whores don't go to musicals. I think that that's pretty well established here in America. I think they're referred to what Caroline said as a posh put down, and I'll have to say it's "Sign Me Up" as my favorite kind of put down. Me too, but she's just awful, and I can't wait to see how awful she gets. Yeah. So, yeah, a lot more awful. I guarantee you. So, let me see here Caroline Ray, I wrote. Oh God, that blonde American girl who looks and talks just like Caroline Ray when she was younger. She's the one who is kissing up to Caroline. She's the one I was talking about before. I can't stand her. Sorry. Sorry for listening to this. Hey, any new Bravo people, if you're Googling yourselves and you happen to come across this podcast because we're probably the only person talking about you right now, don't listen to this. It's not going to make you feel better. It's going to make you feel worse. Turn it off. Turn it off, or Christ's sake. Well, like I said, I actually liked Marissa, because I guess the thing is with Marissa is that her husband, I believe, owns all these super cool nightclubs, right? And Caroline's like, "Well, I suppose Marissa sort of, she got away into British society by marrying it, but that's it, you know? But I liked her until she started kissing the ass of Caroline." I was like, "Oh God, this girl. She does not know how to appreciate herself." Well, I love that everybody was just trashing those Americans, and I loved it like the super depressed one was like, "The Americans are like dogs. That one's like a poodle because she's all kind of fiend pink. That one's like a doberman. You got to cut it, see it's off because they're too big and it won't stop shitting giant piles." It's like, "She's a lady. She's like, 'That one's like a greyhound. Too skinny and just runs around in circles to a duck.'" This show is going to be so much fun. I cannot wait to watch the rest of the show, because I love that it's set up Americans versus Brits. I think that's going to be so, so funny. And how many episodes is it? Do you know? Oh, I hope it's like a thousand. I hope the first season goes for three years, because I can't get enough. And by the way, you haven't mentioned Juliet or Juliet. Her name, I think, is Juliet. Oh, God. She's the worst. She's the American brunette who's like this really perky American with a really big Midwest accent, and you can just see that when she walks into any room, all the Brits just kill over it. And the commercial's like, "Would you please pass the jail?" You know? You know? You never propone her all fruit. You know? And all the British people in the commercial pass out with this big Texan. That's what this girl is. She's like walking into every room, and she's like, "Who wants some tea?" I have the no tea. Part of being a Brit is being reserved and quiet, and then they show her playing tennis, and she's like, "Ah, kid, I lost another one, Jesus. Hey, why'd you hit that too? Didn't hit it to me, loser." And she goes, "God, no, no, no." Well, but what I do, the one thing that I do like about Juliet is that she doesn't seem to be putting on air. She's just like, "This is who I am, and you have to loosen up." As opposed to, "No, well, did Go To Get Tea?" Juliet's like, "Oh, I'll have something fun, like the monkey, monkey, like mango tea." And then I was like, "Ah, I'll just have some Earl Grey." Whatever. They're all funny bitches. A, they're on a reality show, and B, this one is, her whole thing was like, "Well, when I was younger, I grew up in wherever, and so I knew all of these stars. I was friends with Lindsay Lohan, and I was friends with you." That's right. That's really hard to cap, I mean, I'm just one of them. I was like, "Bitch, guess who you're not one of, them." Okay? You're not. Sorry. At me, my eyeball is like, "She reminds me of in a round of time, you know? Just big old saggy boobs, and annoying personality, I just want to go to a different cage at zoo." That woman's like a giant, you just want to throw a stone at your head to see if you can make it knock over. She's like a, she's like a disgusting caterpillar, I just wanted to put a bar of stuff up into a cocoon and fall off a tree. So we have so many shows to talk about, I'm sorry to be stingy ladies of London, but we're moving on. Yeah, if you're not watching everyone get on board because this is going to be our summer treat, I can tell already. I hope it got good ratings. I don't know because I have not heard anybody talk about it, and I didn't even know it was on because now I don't have cable. So I heard it was on through our Facebook page, so thanks, thanks Facebook. I'm a really good co-host of A Bravo show, but I don't even know what it's starting. But thanks for telling me because it was really good. You guys. Oh wait a second, there is a, there is an article, oddly enough from northofjersey.com, that says, "The ladies of London are driving on the right side of the road for Bravo." So I guess they got these in ratings. Good for them. Wait, does that mean that they're on the wrong side of the road or the right side of the road? Oh wait a second. Oh wait a second. It wasn't either driving into oncoming traffic because you never know. You never know what those tricky New Jersey writers, well they're like, "Well, our bridges are all closed by the gunners, we have to try to take any lane we can get." Okay. So you're like, "Umm, never mind." You know, I was reading something. What did it say? Say it? No, nothing. Nothing. No, I'm so sorry. Just because I started reading comments on our Facebook page about what they want to talk about. And I see this New Jersey preview can be skipped to that really quick because wow. I watched it. I love that Caroline's gone. I love that Jacqueline's gone. I can just breathe better. Teresa looks great. Even stupid Melissa Egghead looks great. Like I'm glad to see them. I'm glad to see, you know, like all the really inappropriate scenes with them and their kids were the kids like, "That's your weenah, it's big." And he's like, "Yeah, I got a big weenah." And like even all of that stuff I kind of love, but then who are these new bitches? Not a fan. Oh no, I am a fan. They're just tacky and crazy. That's what I want from the show. I want tacky like fake Kim D's, you know. But they're too fake. It's like they picked them from an audition where we're supposed to be making fun of the show. I mean, the show makes fun of itself because they're all horrible people. But you get Dina back and then you put her with these fucking children who were just trying to get attention on TV now. I am all for it. Listen, the show has been dull for the past season and a half. We need something like this. We need this crazy Amanda bitch who I guess was Melissa's old friend and these two twins who are crazy and they all got crazy husbands. I am so on board. I can't even tell you. The twins are basically Ashley from Princesses being played by Kristen Chen with. Now, if you can imagine a more obnoxious fucking pair, I fairly name them. That's what I want out of my Jersey shows. I want like women in tight spandex with floral patterns on them. I want them with like, I want them wearing lipstick. That's like the shade of like like purple metallic, you know. This is what I want. That's what I want out of my New Jersey women. I don't want like homely people like Caroline Manzo and Jack on the Rita. I want the tacky ass bitches. I want to see who Kim D hangs out with. Oh, the show's going to be awful and I can't wait. I can't wait. Okay, but they cannot be putting their shit on too soon. This is too much housewives. It's too much. No, it's just what we're going to get. It's the housewives. Okay. Right now, this is this is a record. Real Housewives of Orange County, ladies of real housewives of London basically, real housewives of New York and a candy wedding show. It's four shows. That's five shows with women screaming at each other. I can't take any more. I know. I mean, I know I know I felt like I was like borderline aneurysm all week, but it was like a fun place to be, I thought I feel like God's a woman and she's testing to see if I'm a misogynist. Yeah. Well, we'll get to misogyny in just a moment. I also want to talk about the game of crowns preview. Did you get to see that? I did not, but I cannot wait because my friend Nadine produces is one of the producers on that show. She's from the old TV gasm and every time she produces a show, I mean, this girl has really worked her way of that Bravo tree. Yeah, she does the recaps. She does like on on air reset stuff. She's great. Yeah, she's on Bravo TV.com doing a lot of on air recaps and stuff. She's great. She's a really good girl. She's really positive, really funny. I just love that girl. I don't think that's on the show, by the way. I should not allowed to come on the show, probably. She is. I mean, we'd have to get her to watch Seven Hours of TV, which I know she's going to be like, OK, I watched it. And then we're going to be like, what happened when that happened? And she'd be like, ha, ha, ha, ha, yeah. And she won't know at all. Yeah, she'll be, she'll start, she'll start talking about like a tennis match. She had a year ago. But anyway, I'm so glad for her because this is one of her shows. And I think this is going to be the first one that she's done that's like huge. I think it's going to be huge. So the reason here, the reason watch the preview, because I actually don't normally watch the preview shows, but I'm at my parents' house, they were watching, they were watching who knows what on their DVR. And so I had to use the TV upstairs, which had no DVR. So I turned on Bravo, thinking that the real housewives, or the candy was on American medicine. And instead, this preview special just started. It's like, all right, I'll watch. I'll see what this is all about. And I was like, oh my god, this looks hilarious. It's all like, these just really, really trashy women that all are in Eastern Connecticut and Rhode Island, which to me is such a random place for reality show to take place that I love it. It's like the crazy bitches of Connecticut. They're all these women, for those of you who didn't see, they're like, most of them are like middle age, and they're pageant queens, they're up for the Mrs. America crown, which is sort of like, quote unquote, mature women, women who are married, et cetera, et cetera. And they, they're all, their faces are all screwed up. One woman has done steroids, and now she actually looks like a man. It's a point of contention. They all hate each other, and they all are trying to undermine each other, and they're all competing against each other in different pageants. It's almost perfect. I cannot wait. I think this show, and you guys correct me if I'm wrong, but I think this show premiered on TLC last year as a one off. It was like an hour long show, and then I kept looking for it over and over because someone came on our page and was like, did you see that? And I couldn't find a repeat. I couldn't find it online, so I just forgot about it. And now boom, here it is. I think Bravo was like, we need that. There were so many funny moments from the preview. I mean, I was really laughing out loud. The best moment was there was a fight at an airport where I guess two of the women showed up wearing the same outfit, and the other was like, I need to address something with you specifically that'll be wearing this and you still came dressed like that. Oh my God, I can't, I can't do it justice. I cannot wait. Okay, so while we're speeding through shit, let's get rid of, we've still got some big ones to talk about. So what do you want to get rid of quickly? We've got to get rid of one quickly. I say married to medicine. Sure, married to medicine, nothing really happened this week, except Toya did have a hilarious quote where she was like, Oh, it's called an intelligent conversation. She goes, just, I have, it's called a television conversation, and I have them all the time with myself in the middle. I'm like, first of all, a conversation, not conversation. So the big one for me was Quad Rico getting that restraining order was hilarious, and the description on it that Mariah put to the police was just amazing. It was something like, what was it was like? A giant head and a severe overbite. That was hilarious. Also hilarious was Quad imitating Mariah's stink face, Quad did that with her face. Just this frown. I wish, you know, you can't really, you can't really have to, it's like, Oh, no, it's not like that. It's a frown. And it really is. Like her, she was like, Oh, shit. I was like, that's very true. Actually, wait, no, something very funny happened on this episode, which is at least in a cold decided to have a princess party for her kid. And so that Mariah showed up late, like really late and hour and a half late. And so Dwight, of course, Dwight wouldn't let her in. He was like, Oh, wait, hold on a second. If you're, I just heard a noise in my house. I wonder if that was my dad who just showed up. There's probably some gay basher. Wait, let me check. I heard it sound like something about one second. Just talk to the listeners. I'll be like, if that's your dad say, the podcast is started. Oh, wait, it is my dad. What's he want? I don't know. He just came home, but I didn't see other cars. I'm like, someone in the house. So anyway, so I love that like, Dwight, Dwight's such an asshole. I mean, there are assholes for being late, but Dwight's like, you have to wait. You come and win it to appropriate. There's a presentation going on. What a lame party to the ladies like, we're going to learn about manners. The kids were great. Awesome. Well, it's nice. I'm someone learned about matters on that show. And so Mariah comes in late. She brings her own fat flower petals and has people throwing flower petals in her path and her children's path. And then she brings it into the house of the throwing flower petals all over the house. And then she knocks over the picture of the princess daughter and crashes it all over the floor. And then Heavenly tells her often tells her she's not a good friend. And then Mariah's like, this is like a game of chess, honey. But y'all forgot the main rule. Protect your queen. I was like, you are so stupid. A.A. You don't know how to play chess. Thank you. That's my fellas. That was exactly what I was going to say. I mean, it doesn't even make any sense. And second of all, you're not even on the same team. Why would they protect a queen from another? Even if that was the rule, why would they protect a queen from another? You're so stupid, get out of here. How many games have chess has she lost? She was like, I'm going to sacrifice the king. And so I was like, oh, I guess that's the rule, but I should have did. And I should have did was move the king five spaces. Good. That king is dead. Now he's not going to complain about the bill from the channel book I bought from the furniture store for $100. What I should have did was I should have captured all the pawns because we all know that once you get all the pawns, you win the game. What about Miss Lucy in this episode, starting fights with everybody? I rebuke the devil, I rebuke the Satan coming out here, I rebuke you. And then Mariah's sister, Lake, button her finger in everybody's face and what is, they just need to have this family as a separate show. They're just like one big ghetto family. They really, really are. You know, and Heavenly did the same thing this week where I'm like, you know what I said last week that half the time with Heavenly, I'm sort of saying, you know, she sort of has a really good point. And the other half the time, I'm like, oh my God, shut this woman up. But this time, I don't know, I was sort of on her side again. You know, she was like, Mariah's like, haven't I always been a good friend to you? And Heavenly is like, oh, no, not really. No. You're welcome. No, you're welcome, boy. No, from what I've been hearing, you ain't such a good friend to people. Welcome to my princess party that I'm having from my kids. No one's going to be late from my princess party. If you arrive late, then you must wait. I would like to give a speech about being a princess, a princess who almost had cancer. Everybody settle in. I am a princess, a princess who almost had cancer. I would like to thank my husband, and my daughter, and my son, and our neighbors, and the mailman, and my mother, and her husband, and all the fans, and Twitter, and doctors, and lawyers, and Facebook, and Facebook, oh no, my teleprompter has gotten stuck. My brain will laterally explore three houses down. Welcome to the New York City cap system. Please keep your hands and feet inside at all times, and vote Bloomberg. Please remember, please remember to take your ticket. There are no parking attendants on duty. Please, do not drink any Coca-Cola on your way out, as it might cause almost cancer, which is a devastating, almost disease, which many people are affected by. The Yellowstone is for loading and unloading only, and that includes cancer. I'm wearing an almost pink ribbon today, for all of the survivors of almost cancer. What else is that ribbon? I don't even remember her ribbon. No, I'm just saying, like, what's the shade on your ribbon, your ribbon leaves in a coal? It's not red, it's not pink, and it's not white. It's almost pink. So, all I wrote was, "Princess's party, heavenly's daughter, doctor talk," oh, because I love the doctors whenever they have a scene together, which is like every episode now, instead of just being like, "Now, didn't you want to beat that bitch up at that party?" It's like, "Well, did you see the fibroids on that spleen of the econosas and the dysplads?" We're doctors, okay, we get it, jeez. Meanwhile, Quads says something that was, again, did not make any sense, and I totally thought of you, and I wish I had written it down. I've written it down. It's like, "Ooh, child, you'd better get out of your calculator, because I feel like I hit the square root of shade." Then let's talk about article. I just moved into a new house, and it is really hard to find quality furniture that, honestly, I can afford without feeling terribly guilty. I found the most beautiful stuff on article. I got three bar stools for this bar I built, and they are gorgeous. They're mid-century modern, brown leather seats. Just beautiful, and not only are they great, but they brought them over and they put them together. It was white glove service from beginning to end. That was my experience with them, too. I mean, the truth is that article believes in delightful design for every home, and thanks to their online-only model, they have some really delightful prices, too. Their curated assortment of mid-century modern, coastal, industrial, scandy, and boho designs make furniture shopping simple. Articles team of designers are all about finding the perfect balance between style, quality, and price, and they're dedicated to thoughtful craftsmanship that stands to test the time and looks good doing it. Article offers fast, affordable shipping across the US and Canada, plus they won't leave you waiting around. You pick the delivery time, and they'll send you updates every step of the way. This is very true, and article's knowledgeable customer care team is there when you need them to make sure your experience is smooth and stress-free. Article is offering our listeners $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. To claim, visit article.com/crapins, and the discount will be automatically applied at checkout. That's article.com/crapins for $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. Is it just me or has TV gotten really complicated? Thankfully, Fylo has changed that for me. One service, all the stuff I need. Did you know that Fylo is the most affordable service to watch The Yellowstone live and in season? Tune into the season premiere of Season 5B on November 10th at 8/7c on the Paramount Network, by the way. Fylos got current seasons of the shows I just can't miss live on networks like A&E, MTV, Discovery, and TLC. Classics like The Office, Martin, and Friends that I never get sick of, and all the incredible originals on AMC+ from Mad Men Hello to Orphan Black. And don't forget their library of more than 75,000 movies and shows, all of which I can save and re-watch any time for a whole year. Never miss a minute of shows like The Golden Girls. You know I'm always watching The Golden Girls, and Fylo has it. Best of all, with Fylo, you get all of this for just $28 a month. No contract, no hassles. Just one subscription and a world of entertainment. So go to Fylo.tv and check it out for a free seven day trial. That's P-H-I-L-O dot TV to start watching. Fine, just a number with a decimal honey. It's an attitude that's got a fragment in it. What? What? Oh, my favorite quadline today was, "It's inferior waiting." I wish she didn't pronounce as far as he crystals, right? What'd she call it? "Sarasti" or something. "Sarasti." And she's like, "Honey, you expect me to know Swatsky Crystals, but you don't know how to get to a party on time?" Well, what I should have did was get my crystals from Michaels, because Michaels has a lot of good crystals there. My husband just wants to take care of me with Swatsky. Eugene really likes it when I get some crystals. The Crystals? Yeah. Well, Eugene really likes when I get the Swatsky Crystals, what I should have did, what I should have did was tell Eugene, "Okay, I'm gonna get some Swatsky Crystals now. Okay, Eugene." What I should have did was, what I should have did was have a baby girl, so I kind of have a girl talk to. I'm talking to my boys, but I don't. So I talk to the chair instead, and I have a talk to the conversations with them. I talk to myself in the mirror, and I try to teach that girl I see words, but she don't learn stupid. I have come here to this mill, I have an intelligent conversation, but every time I talk, you talk it the exact same time, and you say the exact same things, and I'm like, "I'm trying to have a conversation here." I don't even know if she knows who side she's on, because they started fighting over the stupid couple strips they're going to take that Quad made a stand, and Moray is not able to come, and so everybody kind of agreed that that's fine. And then Dr. Watcherbund's had to tell her, and so then Tori is trying to turn it around. I never said that. Well, I said that. I don't know. I care if she came. I don't know. I did say that I have come here to say things about Eugene, and that's about it. I don't care if she have come to the trip, I care that she came after. I think as long as the drug comes on the trip, I'm happy. I have came on this trip to not be with Moray, I'm glad to be with you. Okay, we have to put the show to bed, because there's 18,000 hours of bravo. Why don't we move on to Real House House of Atlanta Candy's wedding? Wow, this show. Oh my God. Nah. Alan. Let me tell you something right now. This is the first wedding show, or spin-off, that I actually enjoy, aside from Vanderpump Rules. It's absolutely, I mean, it's crazy. Crazy. Mama Joyce is such a C-word. I cannot believe that she's saying the stuff she's saying on TV. She's awful. She's like, " Candy, I just blame Todd for being how he is, Candy. His daddy's a pimp, and his mama's a hoe, Candy. She's a hoe." Now, look, I understand that we do what we gotta do to protect our children. I got up at two in the morning. Some women go out on the street at two in the morning. I'm like, "Whoa, bitch, whoa." And is that true, or is pimps and hoes? I have no idea. But you know what, though? No, it's like everyone's gonna think that, because this lady has yet to be able to defend herself. And Mama Joyce knows that she says it, even if it's fake, she knows it's out there, and now it's out there. It's like, "See? Nah." "Right. Let's talk about people." Yeah, I know what you're talking about. See, now, mama, she's like Todd's dad, mama's a hoe, and dad's a pimp, and, you know, that isn't right. See, 'cause all I want is supposed to be happy, and I'm gonna eat you Friday. "I'm happy for you, Candy." Did he sign that preen up? Damn, mama Joyce, jeez. See? Now, when I was meeting with Riley, and Nora, and Berta, and Rene, we're like, "See, I can't mama be happy for me, but she ain't happy for me at all." Yeah, poor... Part of me is like poor Candy, and the other part is, like, why have you not either institutionalized this woman, or just gotten rid of her, 'cause she's awful? I mean, that woman's just dead weight. Cut her off, sweetie. But at the same time, though, Todd was a little bit of an asshole this episode, because, you know, in a typical reality show about a wedding form, they're like, "Okay, let's go together a crazy wedding, and we're gonna do it in four weeks," you know? And so Candy delegates this all to her crack team of Don Juan, and Carmen, and this other guy. So Carmen is also Candy's best friend, and assistant, and it's not a wedding planner. And you know, Candy has said that she wants to have scrolls, okay? She wants scrolls for the invitation. Scrolls have to be made, they have to be designed, and they have to go out within, like, a week, probably. And so Carmen and this other guy are sitting there and not getting anywhere. And Todd comes in, and Todd does one of those really annoying things, where he yells them as if he has any sort of power. I'm like, "Listen, Todd, you were a pay three years ago, and now you're yelling at barking at these people," and he starts saying, "Well, Candy thinks you're really negative, and get it done. Find a way to get it done. Just get it done." It's like, "I'm sorry, Todd. Sometimes you just can't pull a scroll out of this." Well, okay, I'm gonna stand up for that little fella, Todd. A, 'cause I really, like, and respect short people, I don't know why it's just always been the thing with me, and want to have sex with them. It could be, because Carmen, all she does is bitch-in-mouth. Yeah, that's coming out into the office, and they're like, "Ugh, scrolls, egh, scrolls, egh, scrolls. That's dumb. We can't do that. Nah, nah, nah, nah." And he was like, "Okay. Well, if you can't do the scrolls on what's your other idea, which, as someone who manages something, that's what you say. Like, okay, if you can't do the scrolls, then did you come up with another idea? Like, maybe we'll, you know, I don't know, what are you doing, Africa? I don't send them some mosquito netting with an invitation printed on. I don't know. Who knows? Send a mosquito to their house with a deadly disease and an invitation. I don't know what you do in Africa. But come up with something. Don't just say we can't do anything, 'cause that's terrible. By the way, by the way, the reason why Ronnie is saying Africa is not big as candy and Todd are black, it's 'cause they're having a coming to America theme. I just want to explain. Oh, yeah. It's an African wedding, I forget. We didn't say that. Yeah. So, and also scrolls, I don't know why that's African anyway, she just jumped on the first idea that one of the assistants came up with who turned into the guy complaining with Carmen. It's like, what are you complaining about? You came up with the idea. If you would said, I think that we should write these on paper bags and send a sandwich to everybody's house, they'd be like, oh, cute, we're getting lunch because in Africa, everybody's starving. That's actually cute. That's, I like that. She would have been like, okay. But they didn't. They said scrolls and so she went with scrolls. Like Carmen, all she does is sit there and bitch and moan and bitch and moan and whine and complain. Sure. This is true. She does. Basically, just like everyone in that scene, but Todd, there's something about Todd that actually really rubbed me the wrong way. I found him to be very condescending and annoying and I'm, because that's sort of his thing. Remember in last season of Atlanta, he just goes and kind of orders people around and barks at them, but I don't actually see him doing anything. Well, that's, that's how you learn as a PA. Haven't you been one? Okay. There's like a chain of people. So, as a PA, you're, you're really only the boss of like two other people and everybody else is above you and they treat you like shit, mama Joyce, and they boss you around candy and you take that shit all day, but then when you find the two or three people who are below you, you make them get you coffee, clean your shoes, you know, it's just how it works. Poor thing. That's just how he was raised in the industry, poor Todd. You little thing. Come here. Come here. Don't like the little guy. Okay. I take it all back then. No, but I do agree with you that he should not be saying, well, candy feels that you're negative and candy feels that blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, not. That's really inappropriate. Yeah. And also I get that he's kind of the boss because it's his wedding too, but he's not paying for it, which is obvious. And he's also not the boss of anything. So I also agree with you that he needs to shut up, but Carmen, don't give him legs to stand on actually do just make them taller. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Now I love, I love candies, ants, noran, birtha, who seem to have had a change of hearts since the bridal shower. We're not bridal showers. Sorry. Well, since they were trying on the bridal dresses, the wedding dresses, um, you know, because they went into Big Lots in Atlanta and every customer there was like, what the hell were you saying about Todd? You don't know anything. Exactly. Do you imagine being on one of these shows and having people come up and just tell you off in public? Oh, no, I'm sure that's exactly what happened, but you know, it's sort of like it gets back to what happened at the top of our, our very own podcast is that sometimes, you know, sometimes you need someone to tell you, hey, don't do that. And you know, I'm not going to hold it against her just because some people cause her to see the light. At least she saw the light. Yeah. At least they're nice about it. I think it's so funny that they were sitting in that restaurant waiting for Mama Joyce and they're looking at it like it's the biggest piece of shit ever. And they're like, I've never even been to this restaurant, may need that. Oh, well I guess it's cute. I guess it is. I just want some food. Those ladies are going to kill me. And then when the old lady conversation started and it was Mama Joyce and her two sisters, when I went pee, as I often do during these shows because I'm drinking so much while I watch them, but I can only hear, you know, I've talked about this before where you can only hear the mumbled voices, which just turn into sounds. And it was basically, oh my God, what is going on in there? It's like a bunch of cockatoos being recorded and it's slowed down. Ronda, that's too much for me. That's too much. That was what it was. You need to let her be happy, just let her be happy. Oh, you win, but Mama, oh, Mama, oh, Mama, oh, Mama, Bata, Bata, oh, Tia, oh, Tia. Wow. That means to me, like, alarm. That entire sequence right there was like a really distorted version of Little Shop of Horrors. Um, yeah. I love Little Shop of Horrors. I know. I know. My dream is to do a 10-minute version of Little Shop of Horrors playing all the characters, but I'm only two minutes in and I just can't keep it together, guys. I cannot keep it together. I see that, Ronnie, put it up on a stage and I will go there. Um, no, it will be on the internet because I can edit myself in different wigs playing all the parts. Oh, okay. Oh, wow. So you really are two minutes into that. Yeah, I'm two minutes into that. And Audrey talks just like Gretchen from Elhasa's Orange County. However, I see more. However, I actually have a friend who talks exactly like Audrey. She's great. Her name is Marnie. And she watches all these shows. Maybe she's listening. But she adds like a high-pitched voice and she's always like, "Hey, mister." She's like, "Hey, mister, mister, mochnik, you don't meet nice guys when he lived downtown. It's okay. I got a Shino. Yes, that's that. Yes, that's that." We're going to get yelled after not talking about Bravo. You're like, "You spoke about little shovel hers for 1.32 minutes. This is a Bravo podcast now, Bravo and just come on." Come on, guys. They don't mind when we do that. They just mind when Katie does it because I was 10 minutes about the Golden Girls would be set. Yeah, because Katie would be like, "You guys, I saw the girl who played Audrey in the movie at the W Hotel with my husband, who's famous and has a lot of Grammys." And we were sitting there waiting for Mariah to show up, and that's the end of the story. It's like, "What did she do? Did she do anything? Did she sing? Did she talk about little choppa whores?" And she'd be like, "That reminds me. Today, I saw someone from General Hospital who my husband knows because he once did the entire score for that show, which they still haven't paid him for." Yeah. Okay. I'm going to get in trouble for imitating Katie. Okay. I'm thinking about Katie, is that she can take it, and she will take it until she starts inviting me places. Yeah. And that's it. I'm still mad from last week when I didn't get invited someplace. Great. You jerk. And then I wrote it on her Facebook while we were talking about it. I was like, "Fuck off, Katie. Thanks a lot for the invite. Jerk." And then she just liked it like five days later. By the way, Katie Kozorla likes your post. By the way, Katie texted us an image of something, and I was like, "Why the hell did Katie send us this?" And now I totally get it. And we will mention this. When was it? When was it? She texted us like earlier today. What the hell? The stupid Android phone. You guys, I'm trying to be fair and give Android equal love, but I'm not getting anything. Okay. I am going to, I will put what she sent us in a photo, and I'm going to put it on our Facebook page when we start talking about Real Housewives of New York, it will all make sense. I don't even see it. I'm so pissed. Okay. All right. Let's go on. Do we have anything else to say about Candy's wedding? I enjoy it. Actually, I'm enjoying it because it's colorful characters. It's not the same with bullshit, and it also helps that I really like Candy. I really like Candy, and I love that even though it's all set up and fake, like everything else in the world, and like obviously so, there's so much more real. And you know what, I think that's, you know, white people, get it together, get the sticks out of your butts. You know, I mean, on this show, when Candy has a problem with her best friend, they are yelling and like sobbing, and it's a real conversation, and it's like real feelings and stuff, and they like know how to feel things. I wonder why those girls can feel things, but like white people are like, I have an issue with you. Well, I don't agree. And then it turns into the Real Housewives of Orange County. I mean, I watched that right after, and I was like, no one has ever seemed wider than the people on this show after watching Candy's wedding, because this show, they're like, well, you were late to my thing, and it really, I didn't really appreciate it. And I wasn't yelling at you for being late. I just happened to be around with Tammy, I mentioned that you were late, and so I mentioned that you were late too. So I don't understand why you're mad at me, well, I don't understand why you're calling me crazy. Well, that's how I felt. But I didn't feel like I was being crazy, and I was like, oh, shut up. How about you sob, you know, and throw things at each other, and like pull out your weaves because you're just so fucking sad about it, you know. That's a real friendship. Well, Ronnie, that was an excellent segue into Real Housewives of Orange County. I have nothing but Caduce for you. Caduce? Oh, my God, Toya. Ramona. No, no, it was Ramona. Ramona. Like, three years ago, three seasons ago, Ramona was like, well, Caduce to her. Oh, my God. Well, today she said, I made a football. I made a football Mario. Let's go, Mario. And I was like, well, she knew faux pas, so that's maybe she went to the princess party and learned about them. Oh, Lord. All right. So let's move on. So let's go. So Orange County. So Orange County did not start off well, it started with this whole Heather, this Heather bullshit where Heather is doing a Christmas card thing and she's just, it's on a back lot because, you know, Heather's an actor, you guys. And then they show all these pictures of Heather throughout the years with her kids and her face just gets more horrifying every single time. It's like she's trying for Batman five, the musical. And what else? Oh, when she says, well, you know, my Christmas cards, everybody is, what is it, what is it? What is it? Like, everyone can't wait to see my new Christmas card. No one gives a fuck about your Christmas card. Okay. Really not a single person except maybe your mother and all of you who are making Christmas cards with your children and stuff, that is so cute, adorable sweaters. I don't give a fuck. Don't be sending that to me. I mean, my own sister, I'm like, really Carly, could you just email this to me and I'll save it to my iPhone. Like, what is this going to do? It's going to clog up my trash. How about you send me some fucking candy for Christmas or something nice? Why do I have to buy your kids shit? And then in return, I get a picture of you guys and terrible sweaters. That's not fair. That is not Christmas. All right. That is not what Jesus had in mind when he died on the crossforest. Friends, Lee Chan's family photo looked nice as opposed to Heather's card was so annoying where they were like, oh, like a fake studio a lot, you know, and I love how Heather's like, well, you know, it's one of our favorite traditions for us to do a Christmas card every year, a holiday card, and like, what is not a tradition with you people? It's like, oh, well, one of our favorite traditions is for us to take a family shit together in the bathroom. I mean, every single day, there's a new tradition that she has, it's like, well, one of our favorite traditions is to get the oil change in the car as a family. Everything. It's like, you know, how many things can you memorialize? It's our tradition not to let our children have cookies. I mean, come on, why are there Oreos in your house if you're not going to let your fucking kids eat them? I mean, come on, Heather. It's our tradition to put dirt and oatmeal on bags and give it to our friends. It's just something we like to do as a family. She's awful. It's tradition to invite people to a big dirt lot and have them write well wishes for us so they'll bury them, our foundation. And it's tradition. If they're late to make them feel terrible about it for an entire season and make them seem like they're psychotic, crazy fucking Heather. What is wrong with that woman? Everything. Everything is wrong. I love that Shannon. Okay. So that happened. Tamara is like, I don't want to age Tamara too late, bitch. Okay. That bus already done come, pick you up, dropped you off downtown, pick you up, brought you back home, ran your face over on the way back to the bus stop. And then came back, picked you up, and then dropped you off an old town. Stupid. You're already old. We're trying to stop aging. Jesus. Am I there? Ben. Oh, my. There you are. Yeah. I'm back. You got all unbended of my aging rant. I was like, I refuse to hear this. No. You know what though? I think Tamara looks great for being 66 years old and I don't think that she should worry. No, she really, she actually does look good. And she needs to, she needs to focus more on her parenting because Ryan continues to be a total disaster. He's getting HGH out of a back alley because he's going with his mom to trying, he's trying to get shots to like, not age. What do you think those are? It's like estrogen and hormones and like duck spinal fluid. I mean, bitch, please, you're old. Stop injecting yourself with shit. What do you think your son has body issues? Because all you've done his whole life is complain about your weight, you know, what your weight means. Then you're married to a guy who complains about your looks and your weight and your body. Why do you think he has body issues? Because of you. All right. Mother. You learned it by watching you. I mean, basically he looks like Deuteronomy the cat at this point. It's like he went right past Mr. Mustaf Lee's and got right to Deuteronomy. Grisabella done already died. He went right on the old Deuteronomy. Which one was the one who died at the end? Grisabella or old Deuteronomy? Grisabella died, right? I would love cats as performed by the Real Housewives and similarly, I would love to see the Real Housewives as performed by cats. Yeah, I would too. I like to see all the cats. When people shit in my litter, I just pee the other way. I don't know if that doesn't make sense. I was just trying to imagine a funny cat thing, a cat opening. I'm normally a nice kitty, but watch out because the claws do come out. I may be rubbing my ass up against you, but it's just so I remember that you're mine. I may be scratching your couch, but at least I'm not scratching your eyes. I actually watched this documentary from the BBC last time on the internet because I don't have cable. I don't know how many times I have to say that, but I don't. And so I was watching something online and it was called The Secret Life of Cats. It was an hour and I watched it last night all stoned it like two in the morning and I was like, "Oh my God, cats! What feeling? They have such feeling. They rub against every..." You know how cats are always rubbing? It's not because they love you. It's because they're like owning you and now other cats can smell them on you. Yeah, obviously. Not really. And also, cats, you know how they're all aloof and they don't really like you? It's not that they don't like you. It's because you're looking them in the eye. You're supposed to blink softly so they're not afraid of you and they'll blink back. For those of us who are soft blinkers, it's not a problem, although I do have a sty. So that might be why cats have been running away. They're like, "That's not a soft blinker, doesn't it? Like did I live?" He's being aggressive. I'm outta here. It's up to Deuteronomy, just lying there through intermission, but like sliding autographs. Big old fat cat, Deuteronomy. God bless his little heart, his dead little heart. Oh no. Chris Ovella died. Bye, bitch. Well Deuteronomy was next in line. Um, okay. Okay, so, oh, see, oh, see, oh, see, oh, see, oh, see, oh, see, oh, see, oh, see, oh, see. And it looks like he's older than his mom. Um, uh, let's see, let's see, let's see, let's see, let's see, let's see if they're talking about how he's getting HGH in the parking lot outside of her gym when that's totally legal. Yes, thank you. I was going to be like, you know, normally any other gym, if an employee said that they would take doing drugs illegally, they'd be fired. Like, how can you have an employee, even though this is confidence, how could you have an employee that is doing HGH illegally? Well, you do. And when he's on HGH and he's really high, you get him to take everything off the shelves and then you make him put them back on the shelves. How they roll over their comfitness. That's right. That's because that's all they have to do. That's their exercise. All right, so let's just be honest, Lizzie was boring in this episode. I know everyone likes her. Congratulations. You found someone to like, but she's terrible and boring and enough for the plastic surgery. That's a good job. So Vicki went to Oklahoma, which was hilarious. That was the real meat of the episode. Vicki in Oklahoma. Oh my God. She was crazy. First, she said that baby. I said I was going to get back to it. I'm getting back to it right now. Far be it for me, to man. I have a baby. I would never bake fun with a baby. First of all, I had the same thought as you. The baby had a band-aid. I was like, uh-oh. Oh, I hope that baby put his feet on a white couch. Somebody did not put the square block into the circle hole. Stop the hard way. What happens when you do that? No, but um, that baby is getting Ryan's looks and let me tell you something, it's an ugly baby. I'm putting it out there. That guy, you know what, no one else is going to say it. How could you say that? Babies are not ugly. No, baby. Give it a chance. I used to grow up and get a terrible personality like his father. Then we can rag on it. But it's ugly. But baby, how dare you, sir. The baby has done some very cute things and it's probably very sweet baby because we like Brianna or we used to. But um, the baby's got Ryan's jowls and um, just don't feel like it's a good look on a baby. I'm putting it out there. I'm sorry. Everyone, I know I'm going to get some hate mail for this. Jowls are not a good look on a baby. No. Ryan's jowls. Or not. That's some comments. We'd be like, I've like this. You know, I've been up with a lot of stuff. I listened to your podcast. I know that you guys crossed the line a lot. But this is really ridiculous. It's just a baby. I understand. I know I'm terrible. I know I'm terrible. This is my problem. But I'm so funny. See that baby? My only problem with that baby is that it does not know how to rhyme. There. I'm putting it out there and putting it out there. No, no. Here's the thing. I think maybe one of the reasons why I think it's not really a baby is because he looks so much like his dad and his dad is such a vile human being that I can't help but see that in the baby. So maybe it is. I think that it is just so fucking funny that stupid Brianna, okay, Brianna has been nothing but a little smart ass. The whole time we've watched her on the show, she's so sarcastic and so above it all when she's been given everything her whole life, blah, blah, blah, you know, she's like so above it, this and that. And now she's like really going to show her mom by marrying some dude in the military and then some abusive dude who's obviously abusive. She's going to marry some abusive guy in the military and then move to Oklahoma and she's really showing Vicki like, okay, Brianna, you win. You found somewhere you can be fat. There is no other redeeming quality to Oklahoma. Okay. Come on now. I mean, you think you're going to win the fight by living in Oklahoma? You dumb cow? No. You lose. You lose. Oklahoma has Oklahoma City Thunder, which is a very good basketball team, but and they also have a wonderfully inspired musical, Oklahoma, which we're going to be smiling about. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. So you know what, Ben, tell me how Oklahoma ends. Tell me. Oh, the farmer and the milkman should be friends. No one watches the end of Oklahoma. Well, it's a tornado comes. I don't remember. I've seen it. I've seen Oklahoma future. No one watches the end. No one knows the end. Let me tell you something. I was just trying to give a segue from more musical theater references since we've already had cats and no shop of horrors. I will not sing from Oklahoma. What about that? My husband is probably gay and abusive and now I'm living in a neighborhood that was ravaged by a tornado because we can finally afford it and it's a house big enough that my mom will prove up, but I don't give a shit about my mom's approval because I'm living away from her and now I have no money, but I'm still gonna live off of her money. Yeah. My husband also pricked my mom by feeding her lamb testicles. I love that forgotten verse of that song. Oh my God. The lamb fries was hilarious trying to make Vicky eat lamb balls. That was cute. What else happened? I don't know if it happened. I love just that it was just like clip after clip of Vicky being insane in Oklahoma. Well, you know, but Vicky had a point. Vicky, when Brianna was complaining being like, you know, I've had to sacrifice a lot. Like I wanted to do doctors that borders and then I couldn't. I didn't do it for you. Okay. So like I sacrificed a lot and he's like, no, you didn't because like, oh, yeah, great Brianna. Yeah. You got to lay on the couch for a summer eating Ben and Jerry's that I paid for doing nothing with your life. Oh, yeah. I'm so sorry, Brianna. Sorry to pay your rent, Brianna. And by the way, when you're talking about like a nonprofit, you're not allowed to say that you sacrifice by not participating with the nonprofit. Okay. By the way, it's not what if you say, I want to do peace quote, but then I didn't, I really sacrificed. Oh, that's actually the exact opposite. You actually did not sacrifice because you could have done it, and you know what you still can do it, but you're the one who got knocked up. Yeah, but you still won't do it because you're just going to sit there and make another litter for that crazy person to beat up for the rest of their lives. Oh my God. He's awful. Okay. So basically, Brianna's getting what she, okay, let me make something clear also. I don't know. I've never been to Oklahoma. So I don't know really anything about it. It seems kind of like Texas. Everyone's really nice and fat and has big hair and I'm all for that. And that's probably where I'll retire. My only thing is saying something against it is Orange County, when your mom's paying for anything, it's always 80 degrees and you live on the ocean. And you're going to like prove that you're right by moving to some TJ Maxx town. Sorry, but it's true. It's true. Is it the crosses in that home that they looked at? Oh my goodness. Oh my God. Can they even complain because they all have them in their homes too, but they actually mean it in Oklahoma. All right. They're not just pretty things. You got to rust dress for less. They're actual like crucifixes. Yeah. I did not see any caliente signs in the kitchen. So that made me a little concerned. Oh my God. I love when she said, oh, I thought I died. And then I saw Gretchen on the other side saying, come over, come over like Gretchen was dead. That was hilarious. That was actually one of the biggest funniest things that she ever said. Well, it was, except I will never forget when someone posted on our Facebook page about how Vicki is getting all her plastic surgery to look exactly like camera. And then they posted the side by side of those two. It's really hard for me to get that out of my mind because every time I see it now, they're so right. That is all she's doing. Oh, I don't even want to think about that. I can't. Starting to look just like old Gretchen, it's so sad. So the other big thing of the episode, which you alluded to in a rant about 10 minutes ago, was that Shannon and Heather had to sit down. And I don't know, to you, it sounded like you couldn't deal with it, but I loved it. I thought it was hilarious because Heather has such a stick up her ass. She doesn't understand how condescending she is, you know, when she's like, well, this is what I saw. This isn't about that. It's about perception. No, no, it's about what happened. It's not how you perceived it. I don't know where Heather gets this idea that you argue based on how you perceived it to happen. You don't get to just say someone came waving their finger at you screaming like a crazy person. And that's how you perceived it. So it's true. No, bitch. Your perception is wrong. There are facts and there are perceptions like, I love that Shannon didn't let it go. And she was like, no, I will not let you get it. And it's like, no, no, I don't want you to say this. It's like, no, oh, no, this is what you do by the way, I'm sorry to interrupt your Lee of black impersonating. But I have to point out that this week there was some gossip about Camille grammar because Shannon looks kind of like Camille grammar and let me explain. So there was some gossip this week that Camille grammar's ex abuse of boyfriend, whose brother is a serial killer named Demetri, member from last year. So she was putting all this stuff out that she was abused on TMZ. And her proof was a close up of her face, which, I mean, this is terrible that I'm laughing, but it was not, I mean, you guys can look it up, but Camille grammar abuse pictures or whatever. There's no bruising on her face. Her face looks like plastic surgery, cray cray cray. And then her other evidence is like hair being pulled from a brush, okay? So the only reason I'm bringing this up, he's showing for defamation because he's saying she was jealous and made up all this stuff about him to make him look bad ruined his life. So my only point in bringing that up is not to call a possibly abused woman, a liar, which I've already done with Taylor years ago. Let's let it go. Let's let it go, guys. But to say that Camille grammars up close supposedly abused face without any makeup looks like Shannon would look if he actually got plastic surgery. They actually look very much alike, if you think about it. Well, I never thought about that, but now I'll have to look real now. You will now, man. And by the way, Camille without plastic surgery. And by the way, I respect Shannon. I mean, she did get a nose job and a chin job when she was like a teenager, but I respect that she's sort of going more natural. I do too. Yeah, I do. I like Shannon. I mean, Shannon's like my favorite right now. I wish they would keep casting people of that age. And I love that type. It's like a real mom, like a real mom body, a real mom face, a real mom attitude hates the husband. I just love that. Like I want that. I do not want Lizzie. Like I'm sure she's nice. She cannot possibly get along with everybody because she's way too young. She just cares about. It's like the real housewives in Jersey preview. I don't care about these 35 year old bitches bring on some 45 year old bitches to fight with you. This slide. This is why we like and then this is why we like Vicki for all her craziness. This is why we like Leah. This is why we like, um, even Ramona God bless Ramona. Ramona. Luanne even, um, you know, this is the people that that the cast members that the audience seems to always gravitate towards are the older women. Well, it's a show about older women. It's not about these young bimbos. I don't know why they keep trying to cast these young bimbos on every show they'll never fit in. It's like Kristen on Real Housewives of New York. She's not going to fit in. She has nothing to say. Well, I'm a big fan of Kristen, even though she has become a little bit of a whiner. Should we move on to New York now as long as you, as you want. And by the way, um, for those of you who have not liked us on Facebook, you should still check out our page because we did a little Heather DeBro Photoshop, which is on the page right now. Oh my God. That's so good. I love it. Yeah. I couldn't help but think of it. Like, well, you'll see everyone. You go to the page. You'll see what we did to Heather. Um, one thing I forgot to mention from Candy's wedding was Mama Joyce's quote about why Todd's family is left of pimps and hoes is latching onto candy. OK, Ben's back. The last thing I heard was you doing the kitchen, kitchen, kitchen. And then I think the internet was like, let's just stop these two from talking. The internet has had enough of Mama Joyce. OK, noted. No data. All right. So Real Housewives of New York starts out with Aviva and Sonia talking to Georgia's new fiancé, who says she's 25, not buying that and is covered with Swarovski cut. The show is ruined my pronunciation. So by the way, Katie just sent us, and what I posted on our page is this, um, it's like a flyer basically for Cody's, um, her, her nail salon thing. I think it's this real, slutty, awful looking thing where it's like Dana Cody, AKA Tippy Toa Diva, birthday bash at black, it's a black and yellow event at Club Lex Saturday, June 22nd. So trashy. So for anyone who was thinking like, Oh, wow, like George found himself this, you know, this pretty, you know, pretty young thing, this classy, classy young lady who's really working to, to make a life for herself, no, she's a big old mess. I don't think anybody could think that she's dating George to be on a reality show. I mean, that's just as low as you can go. Well, it's not as low as Ramona going, your parents are dead. Yeah. You know what though? Here's the thing. I don't, I'm low to defend Ramona in this situation, um, because she didn't, but she didn't say, so your parents, I think she was using it to, it sounded like she was about to make a point about something in a very tactless way. She's going to be like, well, because you know, you, since you're like, it's almost that she was saying, since your parents are dead, comma, and then we never got to the rest of the sentence, whatever it should, she had brought it up. No, should she have listened to Sony, and so he said, don't bring it up. Yes. But what was tactless and tasteless? I don't think it was necessarily a malicious moment from, well, she was trying to say you're with him. Obviously, because you have daddy issues, your parents are dead, you're trying to find a replacement, blah, blah, blah, but even if that, even though that that's what she was trying to say is still disgusting, you're at a woman's engagement party. Yeah. You know that her parents are dead. It's like the most insensitive damn time to be saying that. It's just gross. Who does that? It's true. However, if we fast forward now, so well, I'm sorry. So before we even fast forward, so then Ramona leaves, because she knows immediately, you know what? I'm not going to stick around for this. I'm getting yelled at by 10 people. I put my foot in my mouth, I've been an awful Ramona bitch, I'm going to leave. Then George finds out, and George starts saying, he goes off and he's saying, you know, she's a bitch, and you know what happens to bitches, they get fucked by dogs, things like that. Which is sort of a nasty thing for him to say, but yeah, it's very nasty. So anyway, they talk later on out of Yves apartment, and George is like, you know what? I ruined your party last year, and I'm sorry, which was something to do. And she's like, well, she's a thank you, et cetera, and then she apologized for what she said. But then Ramona, again, was being tacky and saying, like, doing the whole thing, she's like, well, you know what you got to do, George? If you love the girl, what you have to do is you have to let her free, okay? Because she needs to live her life. You've lived your life, okay? Just the way my father lived his life in the Berkshires, okay? And I don't like when people live their lives, it reminds me of my father, okay? But the truth is she was saying, break up with her, which is not for Ramona to say, correct? And you know, she's going on, she's like, well, there's a big age difference. I keep thinking about Avery. You know, with Avery, if God forbid something would happen to me in Mario, what would happen to Avery? She might fall prey to an older man like you. So anyway, this insult to George, understandably. Okay, first of all, the party, just to keep these two things separate. One is a very classy party, an engagement party at a sex museum with giant wooden cocks and pandas fucking, okay? That was a very classy event that Ramona ruined, okay? The second was a private thing where Aviva had her dad, like basically hiding in a closet ready to pounce on Ramona. Yeah. When he started telling her off, I was like, please don't, because I knew he was going to like say something rapey, but then when Ramona went off on him about being with this young girl, I was actually cheering. I mean, I was totally on Ramona's side, because A, who else would have the balls to say that? Yeah. And B, she's so completely right. It's like, George, 50 years, George, I mean, that's not even normal, George. I mean, most people, you know, like maybe 20 years. I mean, Mario is sleeping with someone who's 20 years. I mean, that's, that's reasonable, but you, I mean, 70 years older than this girl. I mean, that's disgusting joke. Yeah. Talk like Ramona, but I was like, you go, girl. No, she's, I mean, she's right. I mean, she, but the thing is it was out of, it's not her place to say any of that, to be honest. But the thing is that when George's response was, he's like, you know what, I have your funeral. I want to like look my finger and put it on your vagina. I was like, I was actually offended. I was, that was, like, you know what, fuck this guy, saying it was like something about like sperm. Like she's saying, oh, now you, now you're going to have his sperm frozen because it's going to be like an ice cube inside of her. I mean, what is that? It does that. And he's like, yeah. And then maybe I'll look my mouth and put it on your twat. I was like, what, what are they even talking about at this point? But I was like, a really, you know what, it really pissed me off. And here's why Ramona says something at this party. She says about the girls, dead parents, it was a faux pas was bad. It was tactless. It was terrible. It was tasteless. And she, she says this one thing and he responds in a better way, whatever. And then he says this thing. He says this thing about like, I'm going to, at your funeral, I'm going to lick my fingers and put them on your vagina, which is so, um, it's, it goes beyond, it's beyond tasteless. It's really mean. It's malicious. It's vile. It's rapey. It's word rape. It's like, it's like a Viva when a Viva said they were verbally raping her. That's verbal rape. They did. Yeah, exactly. And you know what, you know, I'm short, like his reaction to what when people are, people are going to be upset and he'll be like, oh, they just have to get over. You know, he's going to probably say something like that. And you know, a Viva will be like, well, my dad, you know, he just says these things and, you know, like, I don't approve of it, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. The point is that his reaction to what Ramona said is, you know, he had that awful reaction to what Ramona said. And, and you know, you know, he's going to get off with people be like, oh, just George. And like, it's not cool. It's not funny anymore that he's like this perv, you know, it's not funny. But, you know what, Ramona gets off with the same thing, like, oh, that's just Ramona. So she said your parents were dead. You just have to be ready for Ramona because, you know, that's Ramona's, and that's Ramona's personality. She's just really rude and mean and horrible. And that's just what we love about Ramona. It's like, you know what, I don't love that about Ramona. She's fucking disgusting. And I'm glad her husband is boning a 20 year old because that's nasty. I don't like her. But, you know, the thing is this, though, you're right, people are like, oh, that's just Ramona. And that isn't acceptable. But I feel like the difference is that when George does it, he somehow, he, he somehow turns society, makes society go backwards. I don't know. I feel like he's just more offensive on a totally different level. On a way, it's like, this should not, this should truly not be acceptable. That's one thing if someone's just mean and you're like, whatever, there's mean and they're tactless. But if you're saying things that are... There's rapey and rapey and like, and perpetuate images toward bad, like views towards a whole group of people, aka women, like that's not cool. Yeah, he's like, he's super gross and rapey. I agree. I'm not gonna, I mean, there's no way you're gonna get me to stand up for George. He's disgusting. I mean, if I was rooting really for Jack Kevorkian in any situation as this one, I think Jack should come by and give this man a little help. It's time to go. Go to heaven. You know, start verbally raping the angels. We've had enough of you down here. Yeah, it's one thing, it's one thing to be just old and pervy. That's funny, but to be, to be like offensive, to say something like that. Really grabbing everybody's ass and their boobs and like, talking about putting sperm on their vaginas when they're dead, yeah, that's too much. Yeah, I think it's, it like, it really, it makes me want to throw up on his face. Yes, all women. Okay, you guys, I think, George, we should just put out a meme of George with hashtag Yes All Women because that is nasty and nobody needs to be talked to like that. Absolutely. And I feel bad for anyone who ever had to work for him because you know, he probably was the worst boss in the world. Yeah. I hope that his girlfriend gives him a little butt action with those nails and teaches him a lesson. Yeah. I hope so. Frightening Freddy Krueger nails. I know. The other thing that happened this episode, aside from Aviva's dad being disgusting at Ramona being awful, was that the girls, the rest of the girls went up to Saratoga with Luann to watch the horses, et cetera, go to the races. And Sonya got drunk and the all the women won a lot of money except for Sonya. Sonya won, Sonya won nothing basically, she just won a Bloody Mary. And she came back to the house drunk and annoyed and it's one of those classic things where she disappeared and then she accused everyone of abandoning her, which I hate. She was so shit faced and I love that she just got, she was really mad that she wasn't in on the big win. Yeah. And everyone else won except for her who put $2 that we're competing against each other on the porn and everybody else won. I mean, I understand that for thousands of dollars. I've always been to the racetrack once, it was last year and every single horse that I chose came in last place. I would like, I would go to the paddock and I would look at the horse and I would look at the horses and I would talk to people and I would read the things. Literally there was one, there was one horse who was like, he was the number one horse, he was going to come in. I was like, well, at the very least he'll come in third or something. No, dead last. The number one horse came in dead last. I was like, ah, like everything I did no matter what I did and everyone else is winning money and I was like, well, there goes another $2 because I bet like Sonya. Yeah, you guys don't bet. It's just not good. It's not a good look. You know what's a good look? Winning. Losing is not. I mean, I'm so excited when I win and sometimes when I lose, I get like really mean with the people who are running the game and I'm like, you did this, you did this to me. I'm like, no, I'm like, why did you leave me? How could you leave me there? Well, what I still did was put $500 on a horse that wasn't in the race because then automatically it would win. So stupid. Okay. Let's end this. Okay. I'm not swiped out. Okay. No. What else do you have to talk about? No, I was just going to make a comment about Luann and Sonya bike riding. I was going to mention Adriana. Great check. I'm sorry, Adriana. I don't know. That's your last name. You're Eastern European and there's weird accents on it and I'm like, Grisak, I don't know. But she says, Luann and Sonya bike riding. I go bike, bike riding through that park all the time judging by the sailboats and archway. They literally rode their bikes for about five minutes before sitting down and talk. Sounds that right. But I did like everyone appears to really like when they were going up the hill and Sonya said, I feel like Elvis on the toilet. Poor Sonya. I mean, I really kind of like the way that these ladies are so supportive of each other and in the way that they're like, yeah, Sonya's crazy. So what? Yeah. They just deal with her. Like Sonya's starting this big drama and they're like, you know what, poor Sonya. She's poor. I mean, I noticed that no one gave her money. I mean, I'm sure that Sonya would have appreciated a little. But these women were stupid because when Sonya was ranting, you guys left me, you guys left me. They tried to reason with her. Like she's drunk. You can't reason with her. Just lie and say, oh, we're so sorry. We're the best. We shouldn't have done that. We shouldn't have done that. That's all you have to do. That's fine. By the way, did you also notice, this is like such a, such a me thing to notice because I'm ridiculous like this, that when Luann was saying how she texted Sonya and she, she showed up with texts, she had like super large font on for some reason that cracked me up. She had like blind person font on. I know it's like an iPhone four. I was like, geez, Luann, how bad are things? I hope you sell some of those plates so you can get a fingerprint scanner. I mean, jeez, you're embarrassing us. You know, if Luann ever hears this, she's going to be like, what the fuck? I can't do anything right. I have the first freaking font on large because I can't read the small font anymore. And you guys are going to bust me for that. I'm just saying no, I'm not busting. You want to, I just for some reason find it funny like that the Glamorous Countess has the font on. I don't know why it just cracks me up. You know what? I think that she's much better than me because I got an Android phone and here I am yet again. Why did you do that right? Because it's so big. I can read so many things on here. It's so good for movies, it's so good for reading books, it's so good, it's so gigantic. But oh my God, it does the dumbest things. Like if I text somebody, it won't send them into text. Or if I get group text from people, I don't know and it drops easily. Did you hear that? That was my phone dropping you guys. Yeah. Still not there, Android. But you guys keep working on that, Samsung's. So now what? Ben is going to wait for the gigantic iPhone to come out and he's going to be like look, I have a gigantic phone too and it sends text to my friends. I don't know if you heard what I said but I said that your Android is so big that when it falls on the ground it sounds like a dead body falling. It does. It does. It do. It do. What? Well you should have come here. What you should have did was buy a little TV and then hook it up for the phone and then you could be like, look at my big TV. So fun. Ben, would you do me a favor and tell your parents? Use a pimp and use a hoe and next time you want us to put your baby, get a real job. Hoe. I cannot wait. Okay. My most exciting thing to come from all of the Bravo previews besides Real Housewives of New Jersey, I don't know why I'm embarrassed to say that is Todd's mother showing up and going, you don't know who you're talking to bitch to how much I'm going to die. I know. That's going to be. It's going to be a great season. I can't. I can't believe I'm saying it. It's going to be a great season. I'm going to fall over dead when that happens. All right. Well, let's wrap this up. Thank you everyone for enduring my bad audio today. Oh, Ben. It was worth it. It was worth it. It was worth it. Just listen to your good audio. Oh. Here's what I did today. I made you the guys listen to crickets and bullfrogs in the background. I insulted a baby and I made fun of Luan's aging eyes. You know what? I've learned to just not worry about what I said because it's done. I can't rewind it. So if you don't like it, I'm really, truly sorry guys. Okay? Love you hugs. All right. You can find me @besideblog on Twitter and on Instagram and on Vine and everywhere else. And you can find Ronny. Can you tell me on Twitter @RonnyKarrum or my website TrashTalkTV where there's a lot of great talented comedic writers writing TV recaps at Trash Tweet TV or you can come on to YouTube and find all my big brother and survivor in two minutes videos at youtube.com/TrashTalkTV but T-E-E-V-E-E. Or you can just come to TrashTalkTV.com okay guys? Or you can come to our Facebook page, facebook.com/washwalkcrapins and help us get to 10,000 likes. We're a quarter of the way there. 10,000 likes. That is such a big goal. How about you guys? Let's get to 2048. I want to be like one of the real houses of Atlanta and throw a charity auction and with the aim of raising $2 million and invite 30 people the day before. Oh my god, LaSanne. LaSanne? LaSanne? LaSanne, remember LaSanne? Don't you do that? She's like, "I have to say that I want to make an impact. Our goal is to raise $10 million." So I'm going to invite Saray Whitfield. Yeah, she's even my big donor. Saray doesn't even care enough to dig a hole in the back of your backyard to put her house in. Okay. Saray do not give a fuck. What I should have did was I should have invited Jean to do on something and then we should raise $10 million that we could have made a big Singapore floor in Jean's home. You're so dumb. You're so dumb. You're so dumb. All right. Let's go. I'm tired. I'm drunk now. Bye, everybody. You guys are great. Hey, guys. Next time you lift yourselves in the mirror, I want you to tell yourselves, "It's me and I'm great. Let it by." Bye. If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the Internet. The folks behind the sideshow network have launched a new YouTube channel called, "Wait for it." It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza Schlesinger, slicing, driving friends with it for 10 years. 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