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Don't let someone steal your great idea, register a domain name now and put your idea online. GoDaddy is offering one new or transfer.com for the low price of 295, whether you're building your dream business or starting a website for fun. Is it goDaddy.com and enter WWC295 at checkout. It's go time. Some limitations apply to website for details. Again, the code is WWC295, get it, because it's like watch what Crapids 295, because it's $2.95 for whatever you're going to buy, well, it has to be a new.com or transfer. Oh, it's just got that. I'm glad you explained it. So original, why don't you just start a website about how original that deal is. So everyone, goDaddy.com, WWC295, and you get a new or transfer.com for the low price of 295. Hey, everyone, welcome to Watch what Crapids, the podcast about all the crap we'd love to talk about on Bravo. I'm Ronny Karim from TrashTalkTV.com, and I'm joined today with the lovely and talented Ben Mandelker. Ben, hello. Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, everyone. Ben's from bsideblog.com, and he's fresh from the gym drinking a lovely protein shake. So congrats on that, Ben. It's my ode to Jackie Warner. I just had a corn chip salad. It was delicious. It's an ode to Cathy Wichela, I'm sure. That's an ode to the monzos in general. So you can find our podcast, Watch what Crapids, everywhere that has podcasts. If you want to talk to us and interact with other listeners, you can go to our Facebook page, which is Facebook.com/Watch what Crapids. Everyone should do that. Yeah, you guys should all do that. And also, you should join us over on the Tweeter. We don't really tweet all that much, we're much better on Facebook. But if you do want to throw us some stuff on Twitter, we are @whatcrapids. My website, TrashTalkTV, is @TrashTweetTV on Twitter. You can get recap updates and all that good stuff. And my personal is Ronnie Karam. And I think that's all I have to tell you. Oh, Tumblr is TrashTalkTVRecaps. And Benjamin, you can find everywhere on social media @bsideblog. Yeah, and by the way, so the Watch what Crapids Facebook page, I think we're approaching 2,500 likes, which is awesome. I can't wait to see who's going to be number 2,500, but I'm even more excited to get to 3,000. Rally people. Rally. Yeah, we're at 2,430. So hopefully 70 of you can say like, yeah, come on guys. So everybody, hi, I've been gone for off and on for a long time. It's so great to be here. I know. Welcome back. Are you going to be here for a few more weeks or are you going to fly the coupe again? Oh, no, I'm, I'm back. Yay. Take a tape period. Yes. I have to because no one in the real world, if I start talking about a housewife show, they look at me like, a, I'm the giant is faggot that ever walked the earth. And yes, I did say faggot. And I did say giant ist as well. I doubled down on ignorance with that. Yeah, that's good. As you should. No one will let me talk about housewives. And I'm shocked to find out how many people don't watch TV at all. Yeah, it's, it's becoming a thing of more and more people saying, Oh, yeah, no, I don't have a cable anymore. I just watch the Apple TV. I don't have cable anymore, but I still find a way to watch my housewives. How could you not? Especially this week, everything was so hilarious. Yeah, everything was pretty good. All the housewives shows are pretty good at the moment. Do you have any gossip you want to talk about? Yeah, there are a few things. First, the new real housewives of New Jersey trailer has gone up. It's like four and a half minutes long for roll for roll came up today. And it looks pretty good. It's like looks even more Jersey-ish than ever in, you know, tacky, tacky women. Remember the first season of the show, Danielle Stobb was the only crazy Jerseyite. And then, you know, Teresa, her crazy Jersey-ness had still not really come to, really hadn't matured yet. But now you've got a cast of all super Jersey women. These are basically women who had previously lined up to get on to Jersey-licious. And now they've somehow went up on the show. It's that Jersey-ish. Well, I have not seen the preview, but I saw a picture of all the ladies. And I was just so thankful to not see a manzo or a lorita trying to shove themself into a sausage casing. Yeah. Well, you're half correct because there was no Caroline and no Jacqueline. But there is Dina Manzo. She is back. Oh, yeah. I don't mind her. She's not trying to squeeze into a sausage dress tube dress or whatever. It's like Caroline Manzo. I know you have your own show now. I hope they don't let you wear tube dresses. Stop. I know. Now what they don't have. So Caroline's gone, Jacqueline's gone, Kathy, Dearest Kathy is gone. But we have Melissa. We have Teresa and we have Dina. And then we have their two new women who are twins whose voices sound like little buzz saws. They seem like they're probably frequenters of posh. There's also some girls who had cancer who was one of Melissa's old friends. Oh, God. Another housewife that we get to talk about cancer. Well, it's kind of funny because the girls like I haven't seen you in so long like you never even called me during my cancer and Melissa's like, what cancer? Like great friend. I did it on the Twitter. Yeah, I think there might be one other new woman. I don't know. That's actually, no, it's probably probably six. So people on housewives shows are talking so much about cancer that when people really have cancer, I'm just going to be like, I don't want to hear about it. Here's the new bikini waxing. On housewives, I should say, cancer is the new plaque. Everyone just has it or thinks they have it and they'll make a storyline out of it even if they just think it. Okay. Before we get to that, I want to talk about some of this Atlanta stuff that's flying around because Atlanta was probably one of the most fun seasons they've had. Wait, and one quick thing, if you want to see that Jersey trailer, it's on the Facebook page, Facebook.com/watchmorecraphens. Go on. Oh, okay. Atlanta. Atlanta. So all of that stuff. So I wasn't really here to talk about all that Atlanta stuff and I won't make everybody listen to it. I know it's long over it. But, Nini, oh my God, what the hell, Nini, with your homophobic ass, who do you think is keeping your moose ass on TV, the gay people, all right? Yeah. There's like a few black ladies and the gays, all right? That's it. Yeah. Yeah. Which, well, I mean, there are all these rumors that she is going to be fired or has been fired and she even sent out a tweet that seemed to allude to that saying, like, my best advice is not saying a job or you're unhappy, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, as if somehow this was her choice. Of course it was not. She clearly was fired. I mean, I hope she was fired. Well, they say she was, they say she was let go because she was asking to like demand, she was demanding, you know, filming partners, like she was specifying who she would film with and who she wouldn't and she wanted to make more money and blah, blah, blah, it's like, bitch, you're terrible. You're a horrible human being. Bye. Bye, babe. Well, you've been replaced by Kenny Moore. Bye. Yeah. Well, she is, she's a terrible human being. She demands too much money. I mean, her quote is too high. She probably makes too many demands. She's probably a huge pain in the ass and now that Kenya's there, they just really don't need her anymore. So yeah. If she's not going to make any effort to do anything, girl, bye. Bye, Felicia. Oh, speaking of stealing lines from people, Kenya Moore, who's been calling Nini a moose for like 10 years? Watch your craftkins. Okay. Exactly. Okay. Can you more? You better give some credit. You'd need to give credit to Friday and watch what crappins. Okay, bitch, because now I feel like I'm copying people when I call her the moose. Well, I made sure last week to point out that you always call her the moose first. That moose. Don't worry. You're, you, we got your back. Oh, no. Just the show. So credit. Kenya will never give you credit. Show credit. Show credit will work. She's like, they didn't invent Friday. God did. On day five. Shut up, Kenya Moore. Yeah. Shut up. Yeah. Nini needs to shut up too. Has she, has Nini learned nothing from Mandisa, remember Mandisa on American Idol? She was this big black gospel singer with an amazing voice that the gays were all ready to embrace and then she basically gets kicked off the show and announces that she's super Christian and doesn't believe in gay marriage. We are your audience. Yeah. What are you doing? I don't know. Why would you ruin your career with something so stupid? And now there's, there's this whole big war. It's like holy war of people like, it's against our religious freedom to have to be nice to gay people. And the gay, the gay mafia is getting people fired because they, listen, it's not about you being Christian. It's about you saying that people shouldn't have equal rights. Okay. And if you're going to hide behind your religion as your excuse for that, then fuck you. You should fucking get fired for your job if you say that shit publicly. Where did you grow up? When did that be okay? Yeah, I'm sure. I'm sure that those same people, if they were in a foreign country and they were discriminated against because of their religion and the people who were doing the discriminating said, well, you know, it's against our religion to be nice to you. I'm sure they wouldn't be all of a sudden very empathetic about that, you know? Yeah, silly. I think these people are giving Christians a bad name. Christians do a lot of good things in this world. People stop fucking with their reputations with your ignorant views. All right, jerks. Okay, so I don't even know where we're on that because the difference with Nini is that she was not being religious. She was just being a bitch and basically saying the gays are whining all the time and she doesn't owe them shit. And then when she's like, I already apologize, okay? And then Andy is like, well, do you think that's sincere? And she's like, do you want me to pull your pants down and kiss your ass? I was like, bye, bitch. Yes. That is what he expected. Yeah. Exactly. She has a lot to learn about being humble and giving a humble apology. And when she wonders why no one says that she can apologize properly, you know, maybe she should look at the video, maybe she should look at the footage of Teresa Judy J and see why people also hate her because it's the same level of delusion and that same lack of accountability. Yeah. Stupid. Just stupid. Move on. Ramona. Speaking of awful people, Mark Sartorius, who's not awful, he's one of our listeners, he wrote on our Facebook page that he went to SIR, I think it was last night, and he saw Stasi out of uniform there. So so much for Stasi's big move to New York, you know? Well, maybe she's just visiting, guys. Yeah. I don't know. We know of, and Lisa Vanderpump's restaurant, Pump opened up last night, and I feel like all my friends were at the premiere, they're posting pictures of it everywhere on Instagram. But guess we did not get an invitation, yours truly, and I'm assuming either did you? Why would I get invited? Because we are Bravo experts. But all we do is talk about how shitty it is. Why would they? But we love Lisa Vanderpump. We love Lisa Vanderpump though. That's true. But Lisa Vanderpump is very good at being sarcastic, but that bitch cannot take a joke. She has private message to me twice now on Twitter because I've made, I don't even know. I don't even know why I follow her on Twitter, my old boss at TVGasm followed every reality star ever. So some, you know, I see all their crap, and sometimes I'll make a smart ass comment. Like one time she said she made some comment about breastfeeding your child when it's too old, and I made a comment, and she tweeted me. I was just joking. I don't like that everyone takes me so seriously. I was like, it's sarcasm, Lisa. Calm down, Lisa Vanderpump. There's other gossip on the page, but why don't we get into the shows? Yeah, I just wanted to talk about Nini finally getting fired that dumb bitch by Nini. No one's going to miss you. I hope you get another job where you get to play all of your family and suck at it really bad. You're terrible. I hope you just go away. Please go away. Go back to the pole, Nini. Back to the pole most, by the way. I am sad that, are we going to watch Candy's wedding because I really don't want to. I hate the wedding spin-offs, but it would be a good chance for me to do more Candy impersonations. We have to watch it because Mama Joyce is on there. That's true. We were just going to watch it. That's my money. That's Steve. My money. You know, I made, you know, our friend who goes by a sly, you know, our very imperial friend. My friend, mainly, with the long hair, who's often, I hang out with all the time. You know, the one who talks like this. Oh, yes, yes. So the other day I was doing the candy first. I had a Nigerian berry today. Who knew? Yeah. Yeah. So I'm sorry I'm being so cryptic, everyone. She doesn't like having her name mentioned on podcasts and blogs, but she doesn't watch these shows because she's more of an NPR quality entertainment person, not a Bravo reality show person. Oh, God. And because it's so quality on NPR, they're like, "Today, a bomb went off in K-Taw." I'm like, "Oh, God, who cares?" So like yesterday or two days ago, she's like, "Who's the one, who's that person you do?" And she just goes, "Yeah." I'm like, "You can candy?" She's like, "Yeah, another one." "Yeah, another one." Well, I have a feeling that candy will not be posted on the internet. I just have a feeling. I'm basically, with my Bravo watching, I refuse to pay for Bravo because it's ruining my life, and I will not, I will only watch what's posted on the internet, which basically leaves us real housewives. Yeah, exactly. And I'm sure that ladies of London bullshit will be here as well. Yeah, ladies of London. Oh, by the way, happy birthday, Paula Watt. Yeah. We have one more thing to say that we haven't said, and we've put it off for so long that I can't even find it in our emails, but the soap lady. What is soap lady's name? Some lady sent a soap. It was so nice. Jackie. She sent a soap. Jackie. You little soap lady. Okay, Jackie, I never said thank you on air for the soap because I never gave Ben his soap. Yeah, I even know about the soap until right this moment. Yeah, so her name is Jackie the soap lady, but let me see if she, she didn't even give us a website thing. But Jackie, if you put it on our, our page, I will share it because that is some wonderful soap. Well, Jackie, I'm sure it's wonderful and I trust Ronnie on this. And I thank my fellow podcaster for sharing this soap. Yeah, I don't see Ben in real life. That's true. Although I did invite him over tonight for Thanksgiving in May. And yeah, you invited me the day of Thanksgiving in May. Well, because I just have been planned for weeks at a time. Well, it has been, but that's also because I haven't seen you for weeks at a time. And every time I do something with you, you're working, you're working. I am working so stupid by the way. Now, Riley, Riley is going to come to give it in May. I will drag you down the street for your hair, Ben. That is wrong, Ben. See, now we're going to serve a lot of fixings and some on, right for Riley. Robert, Riley, see now has some good carbs. You're crazy. Okay. Let's start with Mary to medicine. Whoa. Okay. All right. We'll start over there. All right. Start with the least entertaining shows at the moment. I'm finding Mary to medicine pretty entertaining for some reason. I normally hate it, but it is entertaining. But this week of the three shows, it was the least entertaining. Actually, if anything, if I married to medicine had a lot of sweet moments, it did not have any sweet moments. Okay, first of all, I have not been able to chime in on this new bit to Lisa. Is that her name, Lisa? She's the one. She sounds like. I got the call today that I might have cancer and I am really upset about it, but I have a charity event, so I am going to push through because women with cancer need to push through things even if it's just cancer on a charity. I'm like, shut up. Hey, cupcakes. Yeah, no, I agree. I was about to say she always sounds like she's on public access. She's always reading the teleprompter, ladies, it is super important to respect each other as women. Even when she's not reading the teleprompter, when she's talking to her kid, she's like, "Does anybody want to pray for me because I may have cancer?" It makes me crazy that she's like the nice one. She's like brought on as the nice sweet one when she just basically used a fake cancer story line as her first four rates, like, "Well, you know that people really have cancer right and they don't use that for some time." Well, she had a cancer scare. You know what? She had a cancer scare and it was legit. I do not believe for one second that bitch had a cancer scare the first week of filming a new reality show, not for one second. I do. This was not a Jack's Taylor cancer scare or a Kim Zolsey act cancer scare. This seemed like a real one. My, here's my theory, is that she was probably supposed to be a friend of, but the cancer thing was such like a real story that they just happened to catch that they're like, "Oh, let's just promote her up to main character." Because there's no way, no way she would have been me if she didn't have a cancer scare. I thought that seemed very real and I empathized with it and I thought it was totally fake. I thought it was totally fake. That is completely bizarre that she just happened to have a cancer scare the first, like, the second episode that she's on a new reality show and not only is it when she's on a reality show, it's when she's about to speak to the women's empowerment concert, whatever event where she can talk about possibly having cancer. You know, there are real people with cancer. Can we hear from them? Okay. I don't want to hear what it's like to maybe possibly have cancer because you're on a reality show. Okay. But Dr. Jackie Upper. Or Dr. Heavenly, who, you can Google, by the way, the line of the episode. The line of the episode was when, after Dr. Heavenly made her way onto this panel, which was hilarious that she did with that. That was one of the funniest things on this series ever, that she just walked up and decided that, "Oh, I deserve to be on this panel, so I'm going to sit here and I'm going to be there." But then when she does her little spiel, which she says very little, just that she likes Lisa and she's so empowered by people. And then she says, "Dr. Heavenly, Google me." And then Dr. Simone's like, "Goo, you." Like, "Why not to Google you? Like, you're selling chickens?" [laughter] They just give my free chickens. Well, that whole sequence was hilarious because Dr. Heavenly's offended the identity that her dentist was not asked to speak. And so she walked up there anyway. And so Jackie, instead of telling her to get the fuck off the stage, goes, "I would like to introduce a very important dentist. She's taken care of lots of plaque. But before I do, I want to say that being fat is terrible, and if you're fat, you're going to die young, and fat is killing America, it's killing African American women." And if Dr. Heavenly says that she's thin, I just want to remind everyone that I'm thin, and if you look at her, she's actually quite fat. If I stand behind her, you wouldn't see me. You know that's interesting. So I would like to introduce a fat person to pretend to talk about health during this conference. I would like now to introduce you to someone who is going to die before me because she's fat. Thank you. I would fight with someone, but I don't like fighting with people who probably got heart disease. So let's please welcome Heavenly. I would like to introduce you to someone who's fat and therefore lazy, which is why she only went to dental school and not to real medical school. Thank you. Fat people are now getting handicapped stickers on their car, and I will not mock a handicapped person before they speak. Heavenly? And while I am very envious that she has a child, I'm not envious of her child because it came from a fat mother. So I mean, really, you're just going to have fat going on fat. I would like to say Heavenly has a beautiful daughter. I hope she doesn't have nightmares, go to bed with her parents and end up a waffle because some fat person will probably eat it and die a young of heart disease. Heavenly? And one more, one more remark before I introduce Dr. Heavenly, I just want to say she's a lovely daughter and I hope she doesn't gain another pound for the rest of her life. Thank you. Her weight right now is ideal. Thank you. Heavenly? Oh, my God. But I mean, obviously I like Dr. Jackie even with her crazy, you know, anorexia-inducing views. And if she gives lots of people eating disorders, I still like her. I love Dr. Jackie, since when is it bad that your doctor calls you fat? That's happened my whole life. I don't get mad at the doctor. It's not his fault. By the way, in stupid bravo, there was a scene when Dr. Jackie and Dr. Simone were talking and they were talking in, like, medical terms. They were talking about ablations and this and that, and, you know, obviously, I felt like an idiot. But instead of, like, Bravo making me feel like an idiot, Bravo made them look like idiots. They played, like, the stupid, like, you know, like the survivor music, the coconut music, I call it, when there's, like, someone who's confusing to your crab staring at them, like, what the fuck? You know, this is the music they were playing. She was like, well, there, she was dilated, and I've got to do some ablations about it. And music was like, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong. Like, oh, look at these stupid people talking in their twins-y talk, like, no problem. Andy, don't make fun of them. Like, this is the most intelligent thing we've ever heard on this network. It's like accomplished black women, like, speaking in very esoteric terms. Like, don't, don't, don't, like, infantilize that. - Yeah, I'm so curious. - I wrote down a couple of things. For some reason today, they're all about fake cancer, but Lisa sang over and over. - Suspaceration. - Wait, was it? - Suspaceration, right? - Did I? - Suspaceration, I might have a dispaceration, and I have to give a dispaceration of the souss aspiration. - I mean, let me get some soussparillo, sassafras. (laughing) - Sassafras? - Okay. - I didn't know my souss aspiration, my doctor gave me a sassafras lollipop. (laughing) - And then-- - I thought that very empowering. - And then at the end, when she finds out she doesn't have cancer magically, because she never was told she probably did. But she finds out she didn't have cancer, and her husband goes, "Oh, baby, we beat it." No, you did not beat it. You are not cancer survivors, all right? Stop it. - We beat it. You both need to sit the fuck down. Okay, now we have to talk about this Mariah Quad fight, because that shit was great. - The Mariah Quad fight is fantastic. First of all, Mariah, I'm obviously Team Quad. I feel like Quad looks like she's devastated by this. I believe Quad is devastated. I don't think it's an act. Mariah is the one who's like, she had to like, after all that fighting, she finally got herself to a place where she could sort of cry, but my favorite was when she finally stormed out, she's like, "I am at a woman's empowerment conference, and I'm not living until I am in power." (laughing) I'm listening to Doctor Heavenly talk about dentistry. - That, okay, first, my thoughts were, we forget that Quad is fucking psychopathic. - She is. - Because we've had time of her just being fabulous and calm and stuff. We forget that her first episode, don't you remember when she was coming down the stairs and her first episode and they were playing that song, like, "The bitch is trouble!" (laughing) She had her own theme music about being a crazy bitch, and then she was a crazy bitch, and then she kind of learned to calm down somehow, magically, and I forgot that side of her was there until we're at a female empowerment. - In the tranquility suite. - In the tranquility suite. And you would think, out of any way, she's been staying somewhat calm about all of this, and then the second she sees Mariah. (laughing) And it's not even crying. It's, (laughing) sobbing, sobbing. - You hurt me. (laughing) - Absolutely not, absolutely not. (laughing) Like, really? It was that bad, really. I know, she, I'm still on her side, though, although Mariah did have the best line of elastic when she said, "I will not get off my chariot "and throw tomatoes with you." (laughing) And then she whips out the paper towels. That wasn't even, that wasn't even a handkerchief. It was like a roll of paper towels. - This isn't a show, this is about my life. - Which is, by the way, breaking the fourth wall moment, I'd like to add. - Well, they've shown that in the coming, this season on "Mariah to Medicine" previews. - I know, but it's still-- - That it was over something so stupid that we didn't even see. And we don't even know what that fight really is, except Mariah, she's like, "You said you made me." And she's like, "No, I said I discovered you." Like, what, what are you fighting about? - I give you a platform. As if she's frickin' like, you know, like they're running for office. I gave you a platform to share your thoughts on things. Like, Chloe, Chloe, your dog, and what little outfits you're gonna make for her. - Oh my God, your dog's at shit in offices during business meetings. - Meh, meh, meh, meh. - Oh yeah, pooch is in Paris, so we in the hood. (laughing) One of my favorite quotes from "Lessons." - Um, I, I'm trying to remember the things that Quad was saying that was cracking me up, 'cause they were just, Quad, I mean, they both really, really cracked me up. And their fight, what's the, the, they keep showing a clip over and over again, where Mariah says, "I invented you." And then Quad, what was Quad's response? That it's something like, and fuck you. (laughing) - She's like, she said, "Bitch, I made you." And I said, "Bitch, I'll fuck you." (laughing) - I love that. You know what? Also during that sweet, Simone and Toya made up, which I thought that was a nice moment. I liked it. - Toya card, that poor toy is so stupid. - Well, I should've did, it was a apologize, over here. - You should have done. The cracking was a sad time. - Yeah, I'm not the Kazala of Grandma. You are not the Kazala of Grandma. (laughing) I have came here to talk to where I want to talk. (laughing) That's the way I pronounce Kazala. And that's the way I say it. I should've did it that way, and that's the way I should've did it. - Toya is so stupid, it's gonna be so fun to watch this bitch go broke. Oh yeah, I'd like to say, when they lose everything, it'll be fantastic. - I hope this show is all long enough for her to lose everything. And I know that's a horrible thing to wish on somebody, but we're talking about Toya, so. (laughing) - I should've, I'll tell you what I should've did. I should've saved my money. (laughing) - I tell him, don't worry, baby, it's all take care. (laughing) We don't bring him, 'cause he look at price tag. (groaning) - That's what she does, when she walks around the furniture shop, she looks at things, I think she likes, she goes, (groaning) I think she doesn't like she goes, (groaning) (laughing) - I'm here to find a love seat. I have come here, I have came here for trying to survive. - I have been come here. - Oh, and I love that she goes to this, like, extravagant furniture stone to that. Just, you know what I like? Books, I like big picture books. So we're gonna get a couple of those big picture books. We'll be back for the rest. - Those bitches are like, "Well, thanks, thanks for the three hours of following you around the store." So you could buy a Chanel book. - Exactly, you know what she reminds me of? There's this girl on Vine. I'm Sky Townsend, and she does this thing, where she looks at different things in her apartment, and she's like, she picks up a box of frosted flakes. She goes, "Ooh, frosted flakas!" And she picks up a box of Golanan cereal. She's like, "Ooh, Golanan!" That's not to me, Toya, it's like, (laughing) Golanan, it's a-- - Amazing. - I am looking to see what number podcast this is. Did you know that this is our 127th episode? - Wow, that means you've been doing this for more than two years. - Wow, so-- - Even more, if you include how so I've hoed in. Oh my gosh, I don't. Wait, did I say it's 127th? - I think so. What brought on the spade of nostalgia, Ronnie? - Because I'm doing our photoshopped picture that we can use for our podcast today. And I'm going to psychically predict that we're gonna talk a lot about Real Housewives of Orange County, so I'm putting that blonde lady from that show on. - Oh my goodness, Real Housewives of Orange County and Real Housewives of New York City were so hilarious. New York City was perhaps the best hour of comedy on TV this week and OC had perhaps the best 25 minutes of comedy in the last half. It was both shows were so, so, so funny. Which one do you wanna talk about? - I want to talk about whatever you want to talk about. - Ronnie, I wanna know what you wanna talk about. Let's start with New York 'cause it was last night. - Okay. - 'Cause the chair, we're gonna make people wait to get to the chair gate 'cause the chair gate is too good to, too good to, I don't know, I don't know what I'm saying. This heat has got me flustered. So New York was hilarious. It was part two of this Berkshire's vacation which is turning into Scary Island. It's like Scary Mountain. And gosh, the Ramona show continued totally unapologetic about flinging a champagne glass at Kristen's face. Now, to be fair, Kristen was getting a little tiresome about halfway into the episode, I was getting a little sick of Kristen being like, that was my face, that was my face, you know? But Ramona also was being totally connected. - Well, just, I mean, she was, yeah, she was kind of a drama queen, but just acknowledging it so we can move on. I mean, I blame Ramona for the fact that we had to listen to that, it's my face thing a million times. 'Cause you just wouldn't say she's sorry. Who can't just say, I'm sorry, like, there's no way around it. - You threw a glass at someone's face, Ramona. Just say you're sorry. - Technically. - Technically, she said she was sorry, but it wasn't really, it was a conditional apology. She was like, well, you threw something at my face and so I threw something back. - You didn't hit me 'cause I told you I didn't want something in my hair and then you threw something in my hair and so I threw a glass at your face because that's what I had in my hand. And so it was completely natural. It was instinctual. - I told you something mean, it was something that was instinctual. - I told you, I told you not to put, I'm not to get water in my hair. I told you not to get water in my hair and you splashed me, you splashed me. - Are you gonna get mad at a cat for looking at someone for China? No, you don't do that. Why? Because it's instinctual. The cat has a vagina at Lixit. You threw something at me. I threw something at you. It was instinct. I'm like a cat. - Don't splash my hair. Don't splash my hair. - That was hilarious. - And by the way, my favorite line of that episode was this little cutaway line where Sony of course is chime in and she's like, what is she right? I have to look it up 'cause it was such a funny line. I wanna make sure I honor it properly. But they're basically all, 'cause they can't stop talking about this stupid situation about how Kristen splashed Ramona and Ramona respond. So then Sonya goes, it's very immature to splash. I stopped splashing a long time ago. (laughing) Like she had like a bot mitzvah and it was like a splash mitzvah. And when that happened, there was no more splashing. She became a woman. And then Carol's like, oh well, like when I was like 11. Like, oh come on Sony, you haven't splashed a single person since you were 11. You suddenly realized the maturity of the situation. And not a single time. Not when you were frothing around naked in the pool last year, did you splash anyone. And by the way, for the record, you probably splashed Aviva. (laughing) We should so much go back to that episode and see if who she splashed. 'Cause I guarantee both of them splashed somewhere. - Just to have that clip for a flashback. - I know, it's a splash flashback. - She wanted a reaction. You want a reaction from me? Then I'll give you a reaction. It's not my fault. She threw something on my face. I gave her a reaction. That's what she wanted. And then Sony is like, yeah, I wouldn't want a reaction from you. If you don't want to get bit, your head get bit off, don't poke a lion. I'm like, what? (laughing) - Sonya is, by the way, 100% crazy. Like she's just getting crazy and crazier. Maybe it's all that lack of splashing. She's got to pent up in there. (laughing) Gotta let it out. Let that splash out so she can think clearly again. You know, it's like when you're horny, you know? Basically, if you don't jerk off, you can't see clearly. Your logic gets all warped through how it's going to lead me to some sort of action. And then you jerk off and all of a sudden it's like, oh, clarity. I see everything I have to do today and I know exactly how to do it now. - I understand that feeling, but with chocolate. Like with chocolate things. - Yeah. - I'm like, why am I so angry? And then I eat ice cream and I'm like, oh. This is why people are addicted to food because it makes you feel okay. And then I masturbate because I'm so happy that I had to stay chocolate. - Absolutely. - I'm like that with heroin. - Totally. - You know? I'm like, why is there a baby on the ceiling? Let me do some heroin. Oh, it's gone. Back to normal. - I love that heroin makes the babies go away from your ceiling. - Yeah, it would. It would. You know, I have so many babies on my ceiling. - Babies, God, you're like Sonya. - I know. - So, okay. - Maybe slashing her. - Okay. - Memories of her childhood when she used to splash. - Now, as all the housewives shows, you just basically have all the same stories over and over again every year played out by different people. It's normal that they go parallel. You know, they parallel each other. Like, is that even a thing? They parallel each other? They marry each other. - Yeah. - Maybe I should say. - Both, both. - An amalgam. - It becomes an amalgam of housewives stories. - Don't use big words, please. (laughs) - Right now, we've got on the OC, we've got old lady cast member, hating young lady cast member. And we've got the same thing happening on this show, where this bitch did not have to do anything and Ramona automatically hated her 'cause she's young and pretty. - Yeah. - What is that? I mean, these people, I think that the housewives, this old lady hating young lady for no reason and it's totally becoming acceptable and they're like, the old ladies are the heroes. I think that's why these Disney movies are coming out with like, the queens are the heroes. Like, this one with Angelina Jolie where she just wants Sleeping Beauty dead and she's like the hero of the movie. Or that one where they had Snow White and it was that girl from that vampire movie and everyone hated her and wanted the queen to win. Like, the evils, no white queen. I think that the housewives are turning everything on his ass and the villains are becoming heroes. All right, let's all just take a moment and think about that. - That was so deep. - That was deep, right? - That was really deep. - That was an amalgam of thoughts. - That was diverged. - You know, thank God for these shows, and bring those deep philosophical musings out into the four. - That was deep. That was swimming in the deep empty, guys. - Yeah, so I feel like the first good chunk of this episode was Ramona, like, and what's your face, Chris? - Ben, let's talk about article. I just moved into a new house and it is really hard to find quality furniture that honestly I can afford without feeling terribly guilty. - I found the most beautiful stuff on article. I got three bar stools for this bar I built, and they are gorgeous. They're mid-century modern, brown leather seats. Just beautiful, and not only are they great, but they brought them over and they put them together. It was white glove service from beginning to end. - That was my experience with them, too. I mean, the truth is that article believes in delightful design for every home, and thanks to their online only model, they have some really delightful prices, too. - They're curated assortment of mid-century modern, coastal, industrial, scandy, and boho designs make furniture shopping simple. - Article's team of designers are all about finding the perfect balance between style, quality, and price, and they're dedicated to thoughtful craftsmanship that stands the test of time and looks good doing it. - Article offers fast, affordable shipping across the US and Canada, plus they won't leave you waiting around, you pick the delivery time, and they'll send you updates every step of the way. - This is very true, and article's knowledgeable customer care team is there when you need them to make sure your experience is smooth and stress-free. - Article is offering our listeners $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. - To claim, visit article.com/crapins, and the discount will be automatically applied at checkout. - That's article.com/crapins for $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. - Is it just me or has TV gotten really complicated? 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I mean Kristen really deserved an apology and she was really pissed off about it. And on top of that, this is her face, she's modeling. She doesn't have a lot of years left to model why accelerate the decline. That being said, I mean, so she got like a little blood blister which is annoying but she kept on poking and prodding it and she was acting as if she just had contracted leprosy. You know, it's like, you know, she looks pretty much fine and normal. - And Carol's like, "What's wrong, you got a headache?" She's like, "Yes, I have a headache, Carol. "I had a glass thrown in my face and it split my lip. "Of course I have a headache, Jeeze." - She's like, she's like, "Hey, you like that new Cash's song? "How could I like that new Cash's song? "I had a glass thrown in my face." - Was it about your lip bleeding because some horrible old person threw something at it? Then no, I don't like it. If Cash's song has a song about that, I'd love to hear it. - Hey, remember that song, Funky Town? How could I forget it? It's by Lips Incorporated. You know what, it's also Incorporated? My lips, but now they're broken. My corporation is broken. My lips Incorporated. My Ramona. - Oh, that was so stupid. - I know. (laughing) - That was amazing. - I committed to a Lips Incorporated joke. (laughing) - This corporation's been dissolved by Ramona's class. Of course I'm mad. - Oh God. Another favorite thing that everybody on these shows does is they'll take anything and make it about themselves. So Ramona's big thing turned out to be, well, I was abused as a child. Well, I wasn't abused, but my parents fought a lot. And it really made me uncomfortable 'cause they would fight and I would get scared. And then I remember one time my dad did something to me and he threw a glass at something. And then so now, when she did that, I threw a glass 'cause it's like my abusive father. (laughing) She's like, "One time, one time my father was doing the dishes "and he was splashing in the sink "and I thought, oh my God, it's all happening again." And so that's what happened when she splashed in the pond that brought back memories of my father doing dishes. So of course I had throw a dish at the beast, which was correct. - Which I feel like I'm becoming my father. - You are not your father, Ramona. - Don't you see that? - It's not your father, Ramona. - So what you mean while it was like - Making it all about herself, totally. - She was crying, don't you? You've come so far in 20 years, Ramona's saying, you are not your dad. - You are not your dad. - Which I still... - Because if you were, I'd really like to fuck you. (laughing) - Well, my father, you know, my father, he never liked champagne glasses. So when I threw a champagne glass at Kristin, I was like throwing at my father 'cause I knew he didn't like, he didn't like champagne, okay? So that's why I did it, okay? So that's, you know, I was like throwing something that my father hated at my father. It was a way for me to grow as a person, actually. And the fact that Kristin does not actually understand that, okay, is actually sort of rude. - Okay. - It's a little rude. - Who told you I wanted you to throw water at my face? Who gave you permission to throw water at my face? Who, nobody, nobody. - You know, my mother always sat and kept standing up for myself. So if I get splashed, I'm not supposed to get splashed 'cause I just did my hair. So okay, I had to throw a glass at her. Okay, it's her fault. - Oh, she is the worst. - Nevermind the fact the reason why Kristin splashes 'cause Ramona was talking shit about her seconds before. Ramona's like, you know, she just sits there. She doesn't really do anything. She just always sits there. She sits there in this quiet. She's just a pretty face. I don't really know her. She's just still like a nothing, you know? So of course she's gonna go splash her. - Yeah. - So really you were provoking quote-unquote. - Well, I love that it's like some mystery abuse storyline because Ramona hasn't really said that her dad is abusive. She's just kind of alluded to it. All she said is that her parents fight. But it's like, okay, so what happened one time? - How does it remind you of your father? Like, was your father's abuse splashing you? - Like honestly, what is the trigger here? Is it the splash? Because that's what you're saying over and over and you understand that that makes no sense, right? - Everything was the trigger. She like saw some branches and she's like, oh my God, it's all coming back to me right now. Trees, we had trees growing up. There were trees. - I remember you all right now. - I came out here and I was a kid and, you know, I was just in the forest so I had to rely on my imagination. I'm like, guess who else does that? Every other fucking kid on earth who's ever been born, okay? That's what kids do. - Yeah, I would make my pies. That's what I would have to do. You know what I have to do? I'd have to play. I'd have to play without the children, okay? That's something that my parents made me do. They made me play. They made me go to school, okay? This is what would happen. It's all coming back to me. I can't. - Kristen, it reminds me of one of these imaginary friends I had and every time I would talk to it, it wouldn't talk back to me because it was imaginary. And I'd be like, that's rude. You know, like, I know you're imaginary, but you could at least talk back to me. And she never would talk back to me and she was so pretty. - Heather's making me hug a tree right now. And I can't because you know what? I used to have to hug my father and you know what? That was like a very difficult thing for me. And I don't hug people now as a result. And if I have to hug someone, I actually throw a glass in your face instead. - Also, it's making me really uncomfortable watching Sonia hug that tree. So I'm gonna call that tree's mother. And I'm gonna tell her about Sonia hugging that tree and then hopefully that tree will go away. And Sonia can't hug anymore because really, I mean, like, who's a good boy, nobody. - Whoa, whoa, see that leaf over there? That leaf? Okay, no, this is crazy now. That leaf over there, that leaf looks a lot like a leaf that I saw as a child. Oh, this is all coming back to me. Oh my God, that leaf, oh, I don't know if I can, I just can't do, it's all, it's all very fast. So I'm sorry, like, that leaf has to go. I can't be near that leaf. - I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go. I gotta go, this freaking me out, not right now. I gotta go, hey, you see that caterpillar? You see that caterpillar? That caterpillar reminds me of a time when my father was walking around, just like that caterpillar's walking around. It's too much, it's crazy, it's all coming back to me right now. - All right. - Like when Sonia's like, you have never seen your mother with her head in the toilet bowl. - First of all, that's assuming a lot. - Yeah, and by the way, we've all had our head in toilet bowls. (laughing) - This plunger, I can't even look at this plunger right now, it's all coming back to me. This plunger, when it was, when it's in the toilet, it reminds me of the time that I was in the toilet. It reminds me of the time when I clogged the toilet and my dad was so mad, he said, "Unclog that toilet, I will never forget it." - One time, I was in the bathroom on the toilet and I heard my parents fighting and now every time I go in and try and drop a do, I can't do it. It just reminds me of my parents fighting. I haven't gone poop and since 1963. One time, I was in the toilet and when I went poop, it splashed a little bit on my butt and I merely took the toilet paper and threw it at the door. It's just, I'm sorry, it's like, you know what? You know what? If the door didn't want to get hit with the toilet paper, you know what, then maybe my poop shouldn't splash me. I said, I did not want my butt wet, sorry. - One time? - I have a poop since 1963 and so, because I don't poop, I have to get colonics at one time. I want to get a colonic and they put a hose up my butt and it reminded me of this time that my father splashed me with a hose and I started crying and I called one of my friends with his own private bicycle and I had him bicycle me out of there. - That's what it takes me. When my father used to splash me with a straw, what I would do is I would take a piece of paper and I would fold it, fold it in half and then in a quarter and I'd make a little paper airplane and then I'd pretend I was flying on it and I'd be flown away to somewhere else, okay? So it's like very important for me that I get onto a plane right now because it's like living out, it's a therapy, it's what I've always needed was a real plane, not a paper plane, I'm sorry, but that's what I need. - Oh no! - Take a Xanax! - One time I was eating in a diner with my father and he took the wrapper off his straw and it was all scrunched up and then he put some water on it, he splashed some water on it so it would look like a snake and ever since I've been afraid of being splashed and snakes. - One time? One time it was raining, okay? It was raining, I remember this like it was day and my dad walked in and he said it's wet out there and then I went and I felt the rain and I knew it was wet and I threw something at my father 'cause I knew he was making it happen. And so I'm sorry, it's just, you know, it's what I feel. So, you know, if Kristen didn't, if she didn't wanna have a glass in her face, she should've gotten me wet and remind me of when it would rain. - There's no reason that I'm not religious and it's because one time I was outside and it was raining and I was like, God splashed me. What God would do that? No God, there's no God. One time I peed and I told my dad I was raining out of my V and I thought I had my own weather system down there and my dad said, no, that's impossible 'cause you're a human and you're not a deity and I always resented him for that and I never realized until I got here that that's what I've really been feeling all these years. (laughing) Oh my God. Oh, Ramona finger. So as we alluded to, Ramona called her friend and flew off, flew out of the Berkshires. - Speaking of triggers, I love that Carol was the one to take her to the airport. - Yeah, seriously. - Like, what kind of plane is this? My friends love to planes. - And she didn't even start crying. I was like, listen, if you were gonna be a housewife, you were gonna have to start sobbing every time you see planes. All right, you need to learn the game, bitch. - Well, Aviva took her plane thunder. - Yeah. - But, you know, that whole thing from last season. And Aviva, by the way, is out of the opening credits. She's on a three-week hiatus, I believe. That's what I heard 'cause she refused to go on vacation with the girls. - Yes, and that was another rumor that's been swirling around this week is that they're changing the way they're doing this housewives thing, and no one's getting contracts anymore. They're getting, like, seven week. They're not getting full-season contracts. Supposedly, they're all getting seven week contracts. - But that's smart. - I guess, keep them in line, like, to keep them performing. So, whatever that means. - That's smart. - That's very, very smart. - Or disgusting. - Or disgusting, depending on, like, if you beat somebody up, you get another, you get to stay. - Yeah, absolutely. - Defending myself against my dad, did your dad abuse? He was splashing, don't touch my hair. Oh, I love that she's going. And do you know what the problem is that she was touching my hair? And then, meanwhile, Sonia is tossing Ramona's hair around. Like she said. - Yeah, she would brush. - Yeah. - That's not even a big deal, she split. So, her lip was bleeding. One time, I split my lip on a shotgun. (laughing) - Yeah. - Yeah. (laughing) - You know, I split my lip all the time with a shotgun. - They were recoil. - That was good. I just could only think, honey, if you split your lips on it, instead of having your brain spill out the back of your head, you were doing it wrong. All right, someone help Ramona with suicide. This is crazy. - Oh, gosh. - Oh, yeah. Chris, someone's ridiculous. I reacted to you, so I'm sorta sorry. Oh, that apology. - Well, then-- - But I asked you to get wet. - Okay, fat Elvis, I guess, is the next thing. - Oh, yeah. Fat Elvis comes in real fat, real not Elvis. Real fun, love it, see. I thought it was hilarious. I thought it was funny how the person is so obsessed with Elvis that even the worst Elvis makes her giddy. You could see, she was acting as if the real Elvis had walked in. Yeah, she was really excited. And I love that Ramona is like yelping the Berkshires now. She's like, "What, is this the best the Berkshires have to offer?" (laughing) That Elvis was so fat. - Someone wrote a comment on our Facebook page. I'm sorry I don't have your name, but she was like, "I love the way that Ramona meant to talk about the Berkshires as if it's Auschwitz." (laughing) - It's true. - She's like, "I remember the street." - I remember the street. (laughing) - I'm going to our Facebook page now, actually, to read some comments, 'cause we said, "What do you guys want to discuss?" And I haven't even looked at it once. - Well, well-- - I'm about to rectify that. So once Ramona was gone, then the girls all went out on a boat and Sonya was trying to seduce this 20 year old. It's so sad watching Sonya do her seduction. I mean, she looks fantastic. She does look fantastic, but I mean, she has to realize what she looks like to a 20 year old, because she could not have made more of a fool of herself. - Oh God, that was so embarrassing. - Can I have your number? - Can I have your number? - I have your number? - She's like, "Let's split digits, yo." - Yeah, I'm going to tweet you later. - And then the best was that they later went to a restaurant and they found pictures of Ramona at this party in the Hamptons and they were like, "Oh shit." She was all this psychological stuff, it wasn't real. She just wants to go to this party in the Hamptons. That's why it was too convenient that she had a plane ready to go, the timing was too perfect. And what I loved was Luann immediately jumped in and was like, "Well, you know, I think we should "have an adventure and confront it to her face." You know that Luann's been waiting for this moment for years now. - Well, she tried to hate it last year, didn't she? Didn't she orchestrate something where all the girls came up against Ramona? And it doesn't work 'cause Ramona doesn't listen. Like there's no way you could do it. Ramona will just talk over you, start saying you're all mean. And she does, we've seen the previews from next week where she's like, "Yeah, this is, yeah, you're confronting me? "I don't like this, I don't, blah, blah." - I can't wait, that looks so hilarious. (laughing) She's like, "I love watching Ramona get uncomfortable "as if she's like an elevator that will never open up again." - I left 'cause it was uncomfortable Luann! (laughing) - So that show gives me a fucking headache, but it is really fun to watch now that everybody's just accepted that Ramona's crazy and no one takes her seriously and they just kind of watch her go, you know? And I'm really enjoying Heather trying to talk black by leaving the G off the end of words. Like, Heather, is that your street, really? She's like, "Hey guys, let's go camping." Like, "Oh yeah, your street, Heather, you win." - Or like the time when she said, "Motherfucker," and they're like, "Ooh, now we know I did he employed her." Wow, she's tough. (laughing) I also thought it was funny how Sonya was sticking up for Ramona and then the moment that Ramona's at this party, she's like, "Well, I've been betrayed." Like she was like, suddenly the person who was, like would defend Ramona to the end, all of a sudden she had a change of heart very quickly. - Well yeah, because Ramona just left without saying bye and then left her, you know, to go to a party and left her with all these losers. Sonya was probably like, "Hello, I could have found somebody to bone the money." - At that party, yeah, she probably wanted to go too. - Yeah, it's like taking away job opportunity from Sonya. - Yeah. Okay, so should we go on to Orange County? - Let's go on to Orange County! - Love this season. Love, love, love this season. Orange County is so, in its sweet spot right now, it is hilarious. First of all, I love Shannon. Shannon cracks me up. I find her oddly relatable, even though she does things that are so unrelatable. There's just, there's something kooky about her. I liked when she was talking about her $20,000 worth of Christmas decorations and she's like, it's mortifying, like I don't even know why I have all this. It's just some more finely embarrassing that I have all these Christmas decorations, but it's my one indulgence. I'm like, no bitch, you're one indulgence. You don't have one indulgence. You have about 35 indulgences, including your crazy acupuncture guy who touches your butt and then is like, oh, your liver's messed up. - Yeah, Shannon's one of those ladies that I should hate because I do hate everything about her. I hate the way that she's bragging about her money in a way that she's acting like she's not bragging about her money. She's constantly talking about how rich she is and how wacky she is to spend $100 every day to go see Dr. Moon or spending billions of dollars on Christmas. She's obnoxious. When she says things like, well, I was raised with money, but David wasn't. So he's still a he then. She's disgusting. She's horrible to her husband. I find her repulsive in every single way, but I love watching her and I really like her. - Yeah, and I actually find what's funny is that when she talks about her money, she almost acts as if she's dumbfounded by her own excess and that she almost can't help it. She's like, well, you know, I saw a chandelier for $45,000 and I was like, I just have to buy it so I bought it. I don't know what's wrong with me. She's like, you know, she's like, I don't know, I saw a tiger for $150,000 at the circus and I don't know, I just always like, tiger said I went and bought it, I don't know. - Oh God, yes, it's a little, it makes me cringe. You know, we're watching her husband like he's trying to do something nice for her and take her to a hotel and just that so awkward because she's obviously hasn't fucked him and like since their last baby was conceived. Yeah, she needs to drink more. She's so awkward and horrible, but I love it. And this week, she told Heather Dabro to go suck it with-- - I know, oh, and by the way, I like these. And I'd like to mention also, by the way, before you even get to there, Shannon corrected her kids and her husband on their grammar, which I always appreciate on these shows and she did it in a way that was much more enjoyable than Heather Dabro correcting other people's grammar. - Heather Dabro, Heather is so awful this season. Like she's-- - She's always been awful. She's always been fucking terrible. - She is, you know what I hate about her these days is that when she tries to be fun and cool, it's so deliberately like, I have pre-planned this fun moment or this way that I'm going to be fun that it's like not fun at all. It's like when a parent tries to be cool, you know? - And she's just so proud of not being fun. Like it's part of her personality that she won't, that she's got to stick up her ass. Like she's proud of it, she does it on purpose. I don't-- - Yeah. - She has a smile on her face like, "Oh, look at me not surfing." Well, she actually did her. But she'll be like, "Look at me, I'm not on the basketball court." - And now she loves her fancy, Heather. - She always likes to brag that she's a joiner. She's like, "Well, you know, I'll try anything once, I'm a joiner." - You know, but no, you actually will not try anything once. You actually just stand there, like Maleficent herself and scowl at everyone and everything. - And then she's one of those people who just repeats her position over and over, even though no one's agreeing with her and it makes no sense. Like if she's in the argument show. - Yeah, but what I felt was that you were looking at me in a certain way and it really, you know, it like upset me and that's how I felt. Oh, okay, well, I'm sorry. Yeah, but you know what I felt, that you were looking at me in that way. And that's, you know, what I was feeling was that you were looking at me that way. Oh, okay, well, I'm really sorry, Heather. No, no, I mean, what I'm saying is you were looking at me and I felt that way, it's like, "Oh!" - I know. - Well, so the perfect example was "Chairgate", which started off, even before "Chairgate" started, it was already wonderfully cringe-worthy 'cause it was Vicky's first time meeting Lizzie. Now, I also like Lizzie. I actually feel like Lizzie's pretty smart and even though she has crazy hair and lips and boobs, I do feel like there's actually a brain there too. And, but you know that Vicky was just gonna hate her right off the get-go. So they all get in this limo 'cause they're going to someplace like Javier or whatever, some restaurant. And they're in this limo, and right off the get-go, Vicky is just an uber bitch to Lizzie, right? She says, "Hey, Tamara, why don't you introduce us to your, "you don't introduce us to your friends very well, Tamara." Like, who is this? Is he, is he a gizzy Lizzie? Like, that's just very insulting, actually. - Yeah, she's so rude. - And then she's, and then she's like, "Well, I don't know, Lizzie, Elizabeth?" Like, Lizzie's like, "Lizzie's like a child's name. "It's a child's name." Like, "What the fuck do you think Vicky is?" You know, Vicky, like, "Vicky, you know what Vicky is? "Vicky is a small wonder. "That's what I think of when I hear Vicky. "I think of the little robot girl with Harriet next to her." - I feel, I think of Vicky Lawrence from Mama's Family. - Yeah, and that's, you know, the thing is, obviously there are adult Vicky's too. But technically, Vicky is more of like a kid, I feel like it's more of a kid name, you know, 'cause Victoria, right, it should be Victoria, you know? So why can't she be Lizzie if you're gonna be Vicky? - Vicky just hates her because she's young. And it's so funny, and it's so transparent. It's another Gretchen situation, another Alexa situation, which is just gonna be mean to people because they're young. And it's like, Vicky, you can't say you're not jealous when you're sitting there with a really poor imitation of Gretchen's face. I mean, did you see that picture that somebody posted on her Facebook of a side-by-side of Vicky and Gretchen? It's really frightening. - Oh wow, I did not see that. - That big square chin, Vicky has really got it. I mean, if you look at what she's done to herself, she really has put herself into an old-- - How is it? - She's turned herself into an old version of Gretchen. It's pretty frightening. - But that being said also, so, you know, Vicky is just very cold and in sort of like passive-aggressive borderline hostile to Lizzie. So Lizzie's the sort of girl too who does this thing, which I don't always approve of, which is when they feel uncomfortable, when she's feeling the hate from other women, what she starts to do is talk about herself a lot. Like, does all these sort of self-promoting things. Like, yeah, you know, like, I'm from Kentucky, yeah, so I've seen the Kentucky Derby and, you know, yeah, I was in pageants, I didn't miss USA, Miss America. Like, things like that, which I feel like girls, when girls do that, it's usually 'cause they feel uncomfortable. But what it does is it actually makes other girls even matter and the situation just gets worse and worse. And that's exactly what happened. - Yeah, and I agree. I mean, I totally grew with Vicky about what she was saying about this bimbo, things like, who cares if you're in a pageant? I love when people say that, like, it's an actual accomplishment. Like, yeah, I was really pretty. And so my mom spent thousands of dollars on dresses and I walked around in a bathing suit. Wow! Like, wow, you really made something in yourself girl. You go girl. So I agree that she's a dumb bitch, like, in that regard. And she just needs to be quiet. She's like, well, I was dad, like, toying in my class. I'm ready. - Yeah, my dad is, like, he's a physicist from Yale. It's like, okay, Lizzy, like, I like you, but you can't be acting like that. You know, you're not, you're making it hard for me to like you if you were doing that. But that being said, she was doing it because Vicky was being so bitchy to her and being like, oh, oh, I would never be in a pageant. I mean, all the respect, respect, total respect. I just, I would never do it. - I'm not a pageant girl. You don't say Vicky. I don't think that anybody would have mistook you for a bad drink girl, okay? - So you sort of assume that as the night unfolds, it's gonna be the story of Vicky and Lizzy. But no, it's not that at all. What happens is the women all come to this restaurant, including this girl, Danielle, who has the gay husband Joe. So they all come to this restaurant and they make these jokes like brunettes on that side, blondes on this side, blah, blah, blah, blah. So then Heather takes like a seat in the middle. Why don't you make this whole thing? Like, how about I sit here and I'll be blonde, blonde, brunette, blonde. It's like just making some elaborate joke that's not very funny. And then I think it was actually Danielle 'cause I went back and I watched a few times. Danielle said, oh, move over. Shannon wants to sit with Vicky, something like that. So then Heather moves over and then she tells us in a confessional, you know, I don't think, you know, try telling Vicky to move over. It's not nice. You know what, she has a point. - I think Vicky was the one who told her move over. Wasn't she? - It sounds like Danielle did, because later Shannon said, I wasn't the one who told you to move over Vicky was. And she was like, I didn't say you were the one who told me to move over. - It didn't sound like Shannon's voice. Whoever was it did not sound like Shannon's voice. But the thing is this though. I mean, it is rude to be like, you know, move over so and so on, so on, so on, so and so. It is a little rude. It's not the worst offense in the world though. And especially if you're trying to, if you're trying to dispel the image that you're an uptight bitch, you sort of should just go with the flow, you know? - She's not though. She doesn't care. But leopards don't change her stripes. She is-- - But she had the whole-- - But she had the conversation with Tamra and that, you know, they were gonna try to be, you know. Her conversation was, I'm gonna stay exactly the way I am, take it or leave it, bitch. - Yeah, I guess you're right. So either way, she, but she says, you know what? Like, try talking, Vicki, Vicki wouldn't do it. So you sort of think that the implication is, look at me being reasonable. You know, I'm being reasonable 'cause you know what? Someone like Vicki would not be reasonable, you know? But instead she's just, no, she's actually not reasonable at all because Vicki and Shannon go to the bathroom, right? And Heather decides to move back into the middle seat. This is now we're going into middle school here. And she goes into middle seat and she says, you know what? I just said, I'm gonna sit here because this was my seat and they told me to move and I didn't wanna move. So I'm gonna stay here. So Vicki comes back, I think she's confused and Shannon comes back and she's confused. And then there's like this little, you know, whatever, like minor spat where Shannon takes up the chairs. Like if you like it so badly, you can sit here, you know? Which she was right to do. But I think right-- Well no, Shannon went right up to her and was like, hey, I was sitting there. What's up? And she's like, well, actually I was sitting here first and the way that I feel is that if somebody told me to move and it was my seat, but how I feel, the way I was looking at it is because that's how Heather talks. And then she was like, okay, fine. If it's not important to you, take it. Yeah, and she was, Shannon had every right to be like, you're being so mature right now. So that's what Shannon does. But then anyway, Heather winds up back in her old seat, like her, I mean her new old seat. So she's back down at the end of the table. And what's hilarious is that then Heather at this point, I think Heather realizes she's been acting crazy. She's trying to somehow explain it away. And she's like, you know, like, you know, I thought it was not nice to be moved. But we're over it. We're moving on. We're moving on. We are over it. And I like how everyone at the table is probably like, no one was in it in the first place. You know, like you're the one who has to move on. You don't tell us to move on, you know? And then Heather keeps on for like the next like two minutes. You have to be like, you know, it's just that like, I thought it was rude. I want to sit in the middle, but we are over it. We are over it. We are moving on, we're moving on, we're done. Although, I mean, you know, I just, I like the middle seat more, but it's over. No, no need to, no need to rehash. It's done, it's done. Oh God, Heather, I feel bad for Heather. But seriously, the middle seat though, is that middle seat I really want to sit in that middle seat. I'm sorry, it's over. Stuck, there's, I feel bad for Heather because there's no way that she's ever going to just be different. I mean, Heather's just awful, and she's always going to be awful. There's no one, not one day where she's going to wake up and be like, today I'm not going to brag about my husband's money, and I'm not going to judge everybody for being less worthy than me. Like she's not, it doesn't happen. Well, she's also not going to look at this footage and learn from it. She's going to say, I handled that well. But then what was funny to me is it's going to be like, look, they're crazy, right? Look, and she's going to be surrounded by her other Lilith, Fraser friends. And they're going to be standing around going, you were so right. I mean, who does that? That is disgusting. What is she wearing? What does she even do? What does her husband even do? Well, but then what was also very funny to me, talk about work perception, was that Heather then pulls Shannon aside sort of, you know, at dinner. And it's like, I just want to make sure everything is OK, because, you know, like when you came back from the bathroom, you were just like very angry, scary almost. I was like scared. What? She's not seriously, seriously, like Shannon just like walked in the room. I was like, huh? Like I was sitting there. What's going on? You know, so for Heather to then try to somehow even make it that Shannon was crazy. It was like she was, what's it called? Gaslighting gaslighting. Gaslighting gaslighting. Gaslighting, yeah. I mean, it was just, it was absurd. It was, I couldn't believe what I was watching. Yeah, and I love that she called it out right away. She's like, she's trying to make me look crazy and twisted around to make me look crazy. I've never seen anything so crazy. And it was true because that is what she does over and over. But everyone else on the show is just too stupid to fight with her. And it is hilarious that no one else can fight with her. Like they are literally, like Vicki and Tamara are literally too stupid to form the sentences to fight with her. And meanwhile, Heather is still going, but you know what we're moving on though. We're moving on and Shannon's like, I moved on a long time ago. Oh, did you? Because when you came to the table, I felt like you were scary. Like I was scared of you. Like seriously, I was shaking. So you're okay? Are you okay? Okay. Because you were scary. Okay, let's just leave it alone. Yeah, let's leave it. Oh, I'm so glad it's over because I was feeling that you were, you were getting scary there for a minute. Okay, right. I'm okay. Let's move on. Okay, good. And I love that like, I love that what the person who like creates the drama then finally announces that everyone, this time to move on. Like no, no, like, no, you create the drama. Now you don't get to choose when it moves out. We have to wait to the people who have been stuck with the drama have decided it's time to move on. You don't get to move on. Well, I mean, she's a mother of four children. And I think that she's, she does that, that is her life when she's not home. It's like calling the nanny to see how the kids are. And that's just very, you know, that prepares you for certain things you're going to have to deal with on the house. So I show like cleaning Tamara's vomit off of her shirt or, you know, like making sure Vicki's not embarrassed when she shits herself at the grocery store, you know, things like that. But peas in the bed in Mexico, totally, totally. So but the funny thing was, so then Vicki orders a round of tequila shots for everyone to ease the tension and the waiter accidentally slash maybe the producers did it did not deliver one to Lizzie. And so Lizzie is just like, you know, that's like, that's like, that's like above and beyond. Like you really had to go out of your way to feel left out to do that. And what I do. I ordered another shot. I ordered another shot. I ordered a shot for everyone. I can't help it if he can't count. It's a busboy spot. So shots all come, whatever. And then comes like this procession of like bathroom breaks and everything and where this is the funniest part that everyone started talking about each other. So like first, like Lizzie and Tamara were in the bathroom and then like Shannon and Heather Oh, Heather and then Vicki were talking about Lizzie and then like Shannon and Heather were talking then Shannon Vicki were talking about Heather right in front of Heather and then Heather and like Lizzie were talking about Vicki in front of Vicki is like, I couldn't believe how brazen they all were. They were all talking about each other right in front of each other's faces. I've never seen anything like that. It was like crazy. How did they not all get into a huge fight? I think that they, I don't know. I think they were like holding it. Yeah. I don't know. That's all I can think like maybe they're holding it for later in the season. I don't know what's going on, but rest of the season looks crazy when they showed coming up this season, it looked crazy, crazy, crazy and Tamara running. You will never see me again running away in her foot flops. What was that? I cannot wait to see what it was like a scene out of Wizard of Oz. She was. So do you know about any of the stuff that's been going on with Tamara and her daughter tweeting shit and then Gretchen and Tamara fighting on the Twitter and the Facebook and all of this with each other? Have you heard about all of this? I've heard something about it. What is it? Tamara's daughter saying that Tamara is a terrible mother and like it's like poverty conditions when they're over there. Oh God. I don't know. It could be wrong. Who knows? I think crazy. It gets crazy. So I don't trust Tamara. I don't trust her daughter. Yeah. I don't need that. And I love Evie. Okay, babe. We can have a baby if you take care of it. Thanks. Hey, babe. Hey, babe. I want to have a cleaner looking here so don't put anything on the shelves. I was with Tamara when she was like, that's what they're there for. Storage. Tamara, it's hard to like Tamara. I think she's a vapid, horrible human being. But man, when she says things like, of course he stuck his finger at Vicky's butt. His name is Dr. Moon, you see? She has good one liners. She has good one liners. You kind of got to give up to Tamara. Don't make me love you Tamara. You know what? She has, say what you will about her. She's an evil, evil person, but she has yet to wear at her welcome in my book. She's always entertaining. She's not like Neenie. She's going to be there in the long term. She knows that she needs it. Neenie doesn't think she needs it. She thinks that she's doing everybody a favor by showing up, even with the terrible attitude. Yeah. I'm refusing to participate. She's like, "Well, I'm a team player. I'm here. I'm actually filming the shows that I'm on. Congratulations Neenie. Let's throw you a fucking parade." She thinks she's actually a real actress, which is hilarious. Have you gotten a job outside of NBC yet? Yeah, seriously. Yeah. Well, ABCD. But that doesn't count. reality. It sounds stupid. And it's not even dancing the stars, it passes the prime anyway. So I think-- That's it, right. I'm out of steam. I'm so tired now. I'm going to go sleep. I haven't even had lunch yet. So I'm out of my steam. Oh my god. Okay. It's like a set to me to end it. So bye everybody. Thank you for joining us. Thanks for everybody on Facebook today. You were making us laugh through this whole thing. You can find us on Facebook at Facebook.com/watchocrappens. You can find us on Twitter @wetcrappens. You can find Bennett, all social media outlets at vsideblog or his website, vsideblog.com. You can find me, Ronnie Karam, at Instagram or Twitter at Ronnie Karam or my website, trash.tv.com, where I'm doing survivor in two minutes video recaps. That's all next week when it's over. And if you like survivor, come listen to the latest episode of the Bantra Blender because Rob Cessarino is on and we had such a fun time talking about survivor. It's about like half an hour or 40 minutes. It's a good survivor fanboy experience. It gets really right in there. Yeah. So good doing that everybody. And thank you for listening. We will see you next week. Goodbye. Bye everyone. If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the internet. The folks behind the sideshow network have launched a new YouTube channel called Wait for It. It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza Schleisinger, slicing driving friends with it for 10 years. 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If you like Watchbook Crapins, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcast. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at Wondery.com/survey. In a quiet suburb, a community is shattered by the death of beloved wife and mother. But this tragic loss of life quickly turns into something even darker. Her husband had tried to hire a hitman on the dark web to kill her. And she wasn't the only target. Because buried in the depths of the internet is the kill list. A cache of chilling documents containing names, photos, addresses, and specific instructions for people's murders. This podcast is the true story of how it ended up in a race against time to warn those who lives were in danger. It turns out convincing a total stranger someone wants them dead is not easy. Follow Kill List on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. 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