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Don't let someone steal your great idea, register a domain name now and put your idea online. GoDaddy is offering one new or transfer.com for the low price of 295. Whether you're building your dream business or starting a website for fun, visit goDaddy.com and enter the code WWC295 at checkout. Just remember that WWC is Watch For Crapids and 295 is the price of the domain, $2.95. It's go time, some limitations apply, see website for details. Hey everyone, welcome to Watch What Crapids, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker from bsideblog.com. You can find me @bsideblog on Twitter and on Facebook and on Instagram and on Vine. I'm getting back into the Vine thing, you guys should follow me there because every time I post something, I get like one like and maybe like half a re-vine. So it's really sad. Anyway, I am here, Ronnie is not here tonight because he is very busy. He's started up a new job and he's sort of just figuring out his hours, etc. But in Ronnie's place, we have a dear friend of the podcast, it's none other than Katie Kizorla, back to Gallivant again. Hey Katie, party, I'm so excited. I'm so excited to because it is 12, 18 a.m. We are doing a late night podcast. And according to the track record of this podcast, whenever we, whenever we record after midnight, things get crazy. They get a little crazy. I'm not going to lie. As soon as you asked me to do this and I knew it was going to be a super late night because I've had a crazy day. They had to catch up. I'm like, I'm all about watch what Crapin's live after dark. Well, that's what's going on. This is like, we're like Remlins and staying up after midnight, we're going to go crazy. You're right. I ate some chicken wings and it's after midnight. So I might get crazy up in here. I have lights on in my apartment. Things are getting, I am, I'm already looking for a Malibu Barbie car to drive around it. I'm scanning the, scanning my apartment. Where is it? Where's my ride? Oh my God. A Malibu Barbie car. You know, to be fair, I kind of have that on lockdown with my smart car. You really do. It's probably your, your smart cars may be not quite as big as a Malibu, Malibu Barbie. I keep on wanting to say Malibu country Barbie, which is hilarious because I'm imagining Barbie going out to audition for Malibu country with heavy bro. Oh my God. But it has to be spelled instead of C-O-U-N-T-R-Y, it's C-U-N-T-R-Y, that's clearly the way Malibu country is spelled. I just have a feeling. I have a feeling that heavy bro has a lot of issues with Barbie. Not because Barbie has some sort of like impossible physical ideal, but basically because she has a car from Malibu. It's just like, oh well, it's not the same car, it wasn't the same car that was offered to me. Oh, you know what? You're right. Oh well, it was a different car. You know, you guys were offered a different car than I was offered. Clearly, Barbie has a different car. She was offered one by the dealer, as Heather was offered one by the manufacturer. Yeah, and that's a total difference. I mean, like when the dealer gives you a car, it has rolled down windows for air conditioning. And when the manufacturer gives you one, it's just a push button. I totally got it. But before we get any deeper into this late night podcast, I just want to say that people should follow you on Twitter at the Painted Nail or the Painted Nail, right? Yeah, it's up. So my Twitter is at the Painted Nail. My Instagram is the Painted Nail and Facebook, I'm official Katie Kazorla. She was the official one, as opposed to the unofficial one. Actually, there was, I had an imposter. I had to send my passport photo and like credit cards to prove that this person who was like posting like just had a long day at the office, just did some crazy manicures. I'm like, that's not me. I don't actually do, do nails. I run the operation. It was, I'm not kidding. Someone was like impostering and it happened to Walter too. They were impostering us, we got impostered. We don't be impostered. We don't be imposted up in this motherfucker. So anyway-- It's very poor shot. That's very poor shot, right? Yeah, if you, if you aren't too busy riding the Underground Railway Railroad and impostering Katie and Walter, also check out the, this podcast, Facebook page, facebook.com/watchmorecraphens. We plug it every single week, but the sincerity it is not waiver because it's really awesome. There's like, I guess what, we have 2,300 people on there. It's like, it's so fun. We have so many people who participate, who write things, write comments. It's great. It's, if you like Bravo, you should go to our Facebook page. I actually, I actually like the Watch what Craphens fans on Facebook better than the Bravo people. Yeah. And I know that sounds a little crazy, but Bravo people are kind of like a little bit crazy and weird and the Watch what Craphens are like our friends. Like they get us. Well, they're smart too. We have actually very smart listeners and they put out the, you know, like they know how to impostor people, you know, on that note, holla, holla, so listen, we are trying to do a quick podcast because it's late at night and I've got to go to Arizona tomorrow. So why don't we just like cut right to the gossip because you, you actually texted me like after midnight last night with an extreme amount of urgency. Why don't you tell the listeners what's going on? Okay. So just so everyone out there and podcast land knows what's happening, Ben was going to forego. This is how devoted he is to you guys. He was right as Ronnie is to they were actually going to forego the Watch what Craphens podcast this week, which I was like, you cannot let your fucking devoted friends and family and fans down because I actually love Watch what Craphens and I'm like, I can't live a week without this. Yes. So what happened was I'm at like 11 o'clock at night, I get this weird text on my phone and I don't recognize the number, it's a 3-1-0 number. And it says, check your mailbox and I'm like, what the f, who is this? Is someone leave like, you know, like some white suspicious powder in an envelope and or am I going to blow up or whatever? So all of a sudden I'm like, okay, what is this? I make Walter everyone. I think if you're a Watch what Craphens fan, you're familiar with my finance, otherwise known as Walter. I was like, hey, fiance, can you go up to the mailbox and check this in case we're going to blow up? He goes up there and comes down and he goes, oh my God, it's an invite from Yolanda Foster. Okay. Yolanda Foster. That. Oh my God, I mean, what are the fucking chances, right? I know. Considering that, how many times have we like completely let it just like dog to her? That's what she clearly is not a listener of the podcast. I'm just going to say this right now, thank God. Did she send you, did she send you a tick? Oh my God. Can you imagine if I woke up tomorrow, I'm like, I'm exhausted, I need to get like a dream tube in my brain. And then you can grow out with your internists. Oh yeah, and I can just like blame everything on my Lyme disease, which is like a mysterious bullshit disease. I have the, it's a real disease, it's a real disease, but I like how Yolanda's version of it is like, well, I have, I, I have Lyme disease, so I just had to call everyone an asshole. It's just what happens when you have Lyme disease. Yeah, that's the thing. I went to high school and we have a friend that can actually verify this. This girl in my, my classroom got Lyme disease from like a deer, like she was like doing like deer research, and she got bit by a Lyme tick and you're speaking crazy right now. There's no such thing as a Lyme tick, it's a deer tick with Lyme disease. No, but they're actually like their Lyme disease carrier carriers, okay? Yeah, and but there's other ticks too in the wildlife living in California, we should be aware of these. And this is where Yolanda Foster comes in. Not only does she have a really good lemon tree farm, but she. Don't worry, I'm here to help you. Listen, I have a valid food country. C-U-N-T-R-Y. Yeah. I have to tell you, I had to, I'm doing this whole medicinal marijuana thing to like, to help me because I have, no, but it's true. I like have really bad sleep anxiety and like I can't sleep, which I think it's just a creative thing. I think you just kind of like, you know, people are that are night elves are night elves and people who can wake up during the day are like early birds. And I'm just not one of those people. And so I've been trying this new thing, this new regimen, instead of Z quill and ambient and all this shit that makes you crazy. And I'm like, let me just do a little bit of this like edibles. Oh my God. I mean, I mean, let's get to talking about the real motherfucking hell's what. So, wait, so what Yolanda, so she invited you invite, what is the event that she invited you to? Okay. And so baby face, Kenny, baby face admins and Walter, my own sounds low, are producing Barbra Streisand's duet's album, and we were invited to their wedding in late May, baby face and Barbara Streisand are getting married. I know. Wouldn't that be amazing? That would be amazing. Oh my God. My dog is totally humping my other dog and it's really weird because they're like totally well, they're excited for the wedding. They're like finally the baby face Streisand wedding we've been waiting for. I mean, most beautiful vows of all time. It's kind of like that girl from Little People Big World meets Cream of Dolge Bar and they're having socks. It's weird. Okay. So, I get invited to this whole like scavenger hunt party this weekend and I'm like, wait a second. I look at the thing because it says we're invited to come to the Ivy and I'm like, oh my God, I love the Ivy. It's so fancy. And then I'll, yeah. And then underneath in the small print, it says, make sure you wear good walking shoes. Now, anyone who knows me knows that good walking shoes to me is like a four inch wedge. So I'm like completely confused as to what I'm supposed to be wearing to this fucking party. I'm telling you, well, first of all, a walking shoe, you're, you know, you're like, uh, you're like Kristen on every last of New York tonight, which is like, I didn't know there are specific shoes for tennis. It's called tennis shoes. It's okay. Katie, there are walking shoes out there for you to wear. No, but walk shoes are like easy striders. Remember like what when you have like a leg shorter than the other, you would wear like that weird, all white or beige sneaker with the like large heel. That's a walking shoe to me. I think you should go, you should go to this before you alienate all of our listeners. I think you should go to the Nike store and get like some cool like Nike free 5.0s, which is what I have. Oh, we've discussed this. Nike's aren't mean for everyone's feet. They don't fit me. I slide around in those. Maybe they have like, maybe they have like a delicate fit now. Maybe, maybe Nike technology has advanced, um, I tried on, you know what, I, I'm getting your subtle jokes here and I've already tried on the little boy's shoes and the size for it. And let me tell you something, they do not fit either. They're wide. Get down. Get down. What about the Malibu Barbie shoes? Oh my God. Actually, when I run, when I take my shoes off my shoes, my feet are like permanently arched. They really are. I have like permanent Barbie feet. Well, I have very flat feet. So you can't wear my shoes at all. But anyway, you'll have to keep us updated on how this whole strange, uh, event unfolds with Yolanda at the Ivy with babyface because I am personally very intrigued by all of this and it's way more exciting than what goes on in my life. Oh, you don't understand it's, it's like, it says the babyface meets the amazing race and Walter and I have always talked about this like we can never, we could never do the amazing risk because we would, I would like murder someone on national television. Well, they can murder someone in the discretion, the discretion of your own car. At the Ivy. You know, it's funny, um, this is going to bring in a full circle. Yeah. The last time I went to the Ivy, uh, you know who was there? Oh my God. Um, David Foster. No, no, no. It was Alex McCord, Ramona Singer, Countess Luan and Kelly Ben-Simone. Ew, what's Cenae Horrors, which Ivy, the one in West Hollywood or Santa Monica? Was the original, the West Hollywood one. Yeah, well, that's where Cenae Horrors go and I'm just a polynomial event and Ben-Mundle car. Yes. Cause I am nothing if not a Cenae Hor. In fact, the only reason I was there is cause I caught wind that those ladies were going to be there. So I was truly a Cenae Horror. I, I actually told this story, uh, I've told the story from time to time on the podcast, but why not bring it back out again? What happened was. Yeah, I want to hear it. So back in the day, uh, I used to follow Alex McCord on Twitter and she used to follow me. And we had a nice little Twitter thing going on and she had tweeted that she, she had, she tweeted something out being like, I'm back in LA with the girls and was like a picture of her with Luan and Ramona, which is hilarious. And so, um, I DM'd her and I was like, Hey, are you in LA? And she's like, yeah, she's like, I'm going to the Ivy for lunch. So now I didn't want to say, Hey, can I come? Because that's. Oh my God. We, you guys are like totally friends and we're like texting each other. We were DMing. I mean, she stopped following me. So, well, that's because she got fired. So fuck her. It's like, it's like Grutchen and Alexis Couture. No one cares about your copy who made China shit. So I didn't want to be like, Oh, like, can I come by? So instead I wrote back to her like, Oh, that's so funny. I have a lunch at the newsroom cafe across the street today. Total. A lot. Total, total, total. A lot. And so she's like, Oh, you should come say hi. I was like, Oh, sure. Yeah. That'd be great. So I drive over there. I linger around in front of newsroom cafe, try not to look too straight and sort of pace back and forth. And so finally the women show up. I mean, this is pathetic actually, and yet I'm so happy I did it because here I am three years later. We're still using the story. And so they, they show up. And so I then I walk by the picking, no, they're placed right by the picket fence. So I walk by and I look as if I, they just happen to catch my eye and I see Alex. I'm like, I wave. I'm like, Oh, when I give this like thing like, Oh, should I just come on by? Should I just come in and say hi? I want to do that really quickly. You know, she's like, she's like, Sure. So I come over, I walk over to this table and at the table, it's Alex, Ramona and Luann. And at the very next table, coincidentally, is Kelly Ben Simone. They did not plan to. Oh, come on. That is bullshit. Those bitches. No, they were not. No, they were all there. No, no, they were. They did not. I don't think they hung out with the Kelly. So it was sort of funny. So I stand there. The place, you know, is packed. It's cheek by jowl. Like you cannot move. And I'm like standing over these women, which is sort of awkward. I hear them right now. So that was actually Ramona and Jill Ben Simone. Yeah. Kelly Ben Simone. Oh, whatever. I'm burning this. Yeah. Oh, that's the photographer. Was her ex. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You're right. Jill Ben Simone. That's right. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Potomomie Fonsay. Okay. Kaskatifei. But to fill with Kaskuis, you've been Simone. Wait, wait. So I'm standing over them. Ramona is like very cold and frosty. She like barely cares that I'm there, which sort of makes sense because they're trying to have lunch. But Alex is being friendly. She's like, this is Ben. He's from B-side blog. He writes. He's funny. We caps da da da da da. And Ramona's like, oh, okay. Anyway. So Ramona doesn't care. So then Lou. So then Lou Ann turns to me. Yeah. Lou Ann turns to me and she's like, she's like, I'm sorry. Where are you from again? And I was like, oh, from B-side blog.com. And Lou Ann gives me this look. She sort of cocks her head. She stares deep into my soul and she goes, how wonderful for you. And I was like, oh, it was just like this, this like icy cold class, the countest moment where you could tell she just hated me. Like I believe she must have read my stuff and she just hated me. Oh, yeah. And I felt it. And I was like, oh, this is wonderful. Like I like, it was so scary and so wonderful. You made my life. You should have just looked at her and gone, um, see, she, see, she, and then just like sawshade off. I know. Little does. You realize how much I love her. Why don't we start talking about The Real House as of New York City because we just watched it? Let's do it. So, um, what I liked about this episode and what I like about this season and what I like about this show is that everyone fights. You know, some, you know, in other episodes, it's like there's one fight between two people that's towards the end of the show. No, this episode, everyone fought the entire hour about little things, but still, and yet I found myself very involved. Okay. Who's team are you on? Let's just start off with this before. I, I could hang up right now if it all goes well. I'm on team. Carolyn Heather and Kristen. Oh my God. Me too. Okay. Oh my God. Thank God. Do you imagine if you're like, I love Ramona and Aviva. I would be like, I got to go click. I love, I love Ramona and Aviva in the sense that like, I love that they're there because they're just nut bags and they make this show so entertaining, but you love them because they're dicks. Yeah. Like, like Kenya more, they're dicks, but I, but I don't love them in terms of what they stand for necessarily. So let's start at the beginning of the episode. Okay. Yeah, let's do it. I took notes. Which starts with, with Kristen visiting Aviva as some sort of preschool thing, whatever. And Kristen, you know, I like, I actually really like Kristen a lot, but she really came in, she just sort of, if she were an airplane, she kind of like basically, she, she crashed. She, she landed. She forgot to put her landing gear on because she came in and she's like, I just want to say, I do not want to get involved. I don't want to get involved at all. I'm like, Kristen, no one was talking about it. And as much as Aviva is crazy, she's kind of right, which is if you like, by you saying this, you're, you're actually trying to get yourself involved. Yeah, you are. Because then when, as soon as you say something like that, like, okay, I don't want to be involved. Just don't even bring it up. Someone's going to go, but you don't understand wanting you to take a side and it's kind of ridiculous. Like, she's, she's setting yourself up. She's, it's that weird passive aggressive mentality where, have you seen the way she treats her husband? There you go. Yeah. But have you seen the way her husband treats her? Well, then maybe, maybe Vicki Gundelson should be with her husband and Kristen should go be with that. Brux. Oh. Oh. That's a wide swap. I'd really like. Ew. Oh my God. I would totally need to wash my eyes with bleach if I watched that. No. I think the new girl on the Real Housewives of the OC, the old lady blonde lady. Oh my God. Oh, I can't wait to talk about her. Yeah. She, her husband should be with Kristen and Kristen's weird, golem looking husband who really with the energy drink. Have you ever drank one of those? They serve them free on Virgin Airlines. They're terrible. It tastes like urine. What's it called? What's in his brands again? I don't know. Freeze dried urine. That's what it should be called because it is like, it is like dried up crusty piss that you wring out of furniture from a dog and then you put it into water and you're like, all of a sudden it has vitamins in it. I hate energy drinks. I never drink them. They taste like urine. Like weird bubble gum meets urine. There's nothing about it makes me want to drink. It's like, if I was stranded on a desert island and all I could drink was salty, ocean water or my own like energy drink filled urine, I would be like, no, I will just drink the salty ocean water. Until you die of dehydration. Yeah, I would. I would. And I would risk kidney failure. I think his energy drink is like, it's like in that orange packet. It's a weird vitamin E. Yeah. I don't know. But either way, I mean, I think he's a dick, whatever. Chris, get your ears pinned back. So what? Here's what I, here's what I, getting back to Chris and Numbi, but here's what I love. I love is that as, as Kristen starts to like go off on this thing, uh, Viva shush is her and it's like, I don't like all this hostility near the kids. Not 30 seconds later, she's like, shut the fuck up. That was amazing. I'm like, the craziness. My jaw did this. My face looked exactly like, Kristen, me too, because it's like, she's like, can we help bring up this drama in front of their children, like, they shouldn't be around this and whatever. Then also she's like, you know what, you know what, shut the fuck up. It's just like, go, but I mean, I mean, again, I think Kristen was a little out of line with what she was saying, but for Viva to do that, and, and that was actually the first of two instances that had me go doing the Kristen face. But later on in the episode, Heather is talking to Ramona about the fact that Ramona completely stood her up for her party, you know, last week and didn't even text about it and Heather. Ramona's a bitch. Ramona. Just don't even get me started on her. She's just an awful friend and an awful person. But I do love that Ramona's like, well, you know, you know, the reason why, the reason why I didn't text you is, you know, I, you know, here that you might not like to hear what I have to say about this, but you know, I think you're a little bit of a hypocrite. And then Heather is like, I'm not the hypocrite. You're the hypocrite because the, and Ramona goes hypocrite. I never even used that word hypocrite. I was like, oh my God, is she a goldfish? I like get the bull she lived in 30 seconds earlier. She's Ellen DeGeneres and Finding Nemo. I mean, I was like, where am I now? Where am I now? Where am I now? I was like, I, I definitely did like a, like it's like, I don't even know sometimes how these women even fun, you know, here's the thing, these are the type of women that live in this weird sociopath cloud and where they feel like they're not responsible for anything. They can say and do as they will, it is the Kenya more, it is the, what's her name, Ramona Singer. It is the, who's another one, Kyle Richards. All these women feel like they can do and say as they please, but that one shit comes back around to them. They're like, oh, why would she even do that? She's a terrible person. She's a terrible, she's the, they're all, they all have that Jill Zaren, Bethany Frankl problem. No one takes accountability. I don't know if these are just a bunch of entitled debutante whores or if they just grew up in a world where they were never punished for either lying or stealing or cheating or whatever. Well, what I thought was interesting though is you're totally right, but what was interesting about this episode is that a little bit later on Ramona and Sony got into like a weird tip because Sonya who was like entering this crazy world of delusion where she thinks her sad cabaret act is suddenly in demand and centripet in Berlin, you know, oh my gosh, she's wanted all over the world like to come on chase. I know. It's like, you know, it's like, it's just because they're like some frat boys on like like an extra like on some foreign exchange in Berlin who want to have you ironically at their kegger they want to do weird German rituals where they like put mustard on your face and take a dump on your chest and then smoke a cigar. Yeah. That's what they want to do with you in Berlin. They don't want to watch your stupid ass. What is it? Cabralesque or whatever. I forget what she calls it. It's like. Cabralesque. Whatever it is. The point is she probably has a friend who lives in centripet. I was like, oh yeah, that's great. You should totally come and do in centripet and that which she is now turned into. Yeah. They want to book me in centripet like they, you know, it's gotten all around the world by my burlesque thing. I get out with her makeup line and then her toaster ovens and then her clothing line. Yeah, her cating. Well, she is a comedian. She's been a comedian for all her life in case you didn't know, in case you didn't realize she once performed on comic relief. She was actually the fourth co-host is Billy, Billy Crystal, Whoopi Goldberg, Robin Williams and Sony Morgan. It's not fucking true. When did that happen? I have been watching comic relief since I was like two years old. I was joking. No, but okay. I'm a comedian too. No. Okay. Here's what I got to say about that. Sonya Morgan lives in another, I mean, at least I like Sonya because she's just so delusional and nuts. She's harmless or she's like, I support myself in a five bedroom, a five story, this and that she's really fucked up in the head and she's crazy. The other ones are like malicious and don't take responsibility. Give it to Sonya Morgan for her cab or less and hosting comic relief which I'm being on Showtime at the Apollo. If I forget, she was there. She rubbed a little, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, she and Steve Harvey have great chemistry. Yeah, she actually started off as the tap dancing clown on the Showtime at the Apollo. And then once a young lover took over, she decided to host it instead. She had a killer set on deaf comedy jam once. She really feels so the urban audience. I can just tell this. She opened up for Martin Lawrence and like, let me tell you something. If it weren't for her, Martin Lawrence would have no career. No, and I heard she actually used to write all of Cat Williams material. They spin in, they spin in. Carlos Mancia owes everything to her. Yeah, it hurt. I actually was at a celebrity golf function with George Lopez and he said that Sonya donated her kidney to him and then wrote hit the show for him. Well, you know, Larry the cable guy will not stop seeing her praises. I know. He learned everything about comedy from that woman. Yeah. And I also was told that you're not a redneck until because that was Sonya Morgan's catch phrase. Yes. And you know what? No one, people don't realize this, but the original name for science films actually Sonya felt, but she, she had to pull out for her creative differences. Yeah. Well, because I think she was at that time she wrote and created friends because she's an all-down comedy writer. And she really pulled upon her experiences as being the creator of Cheers, the, the ghost creator of Cheers. But in the meantime, she was starting the Food Network with her kid or a company. Yes. You know, I mean, obviously like Aina Garten also learned everything from her. The Olive Garden. Did you say the Olive Garden? No, I said Aina Garten, but Olive Garden too. What Sonya used to do is she used to go to Olive Garden, perform a five minute stand up routine at every table because it was used to be back in the day, unlimited salad, breadsticks and comedy and Sonya would go in and go from table to table until, you know, they would walk up with a pepper grinder and they go, "Pepper or a Sonya Morgan?" People were like, "Ah, does that have a dash of pepper?" And it was always some cressy old guy coming from their insurance lunch. So I'd be like, "Uh, hold the pepper, but we'll take a little bit of Sonya Morgan." It's like, that's enough. That's enough. It's Parmesan cheese. Here's, here's my prediction for next season, next season, Sonya's going to be busting out a magic act. She'd be like, "Well, yeah, I've always liked magic. I've always been. I always liked a lot of magic in the room when I'm there, so I thought why not be a magician?" Right. Have you been to Vegas? You know that whole Chris Angel scene? You know, I'm responsible for that. I actually were friends. We used to date. I feel like Sonya trying to do magic tricks would be the best thing on TV of all time. You know, she would try to pull a rabbit out of a hat. And by rabbit and hat, you mean pulling out a weird clone of Sonya? It would be like, "Clonia Morgan" out of her giant vagina. Or at least her missing tooth. So anyway, we've gotten wildly off track here, but what I originally wanted to say when we started talking about Sonya, so she's talking about her cabaret act. Ramona's expressing concern that Sonya has her hand in a lot of jars, but wearing a lot of hats, whatever the metaphor is, and she's not really focused. And then Luann comes over and says, "Oh, your cabaret was great. I mean, it was a little unpolished, but it was great." So Sonya... No, she didn't even say it like that. She said that there were parts that you could polish up, but it was really great. Yeah. So Sonya, of course, is very sensitive, and she loses her shit, and she starts saying, "Well, I could be going to five other parties that with friends I've known longer than you and I have been more funds with me while she's walking around basically in like..." She has a screen door wrapped around her, and she's wearing panties, you know. She looks ridiculous. Yeah. It's like she got that in like a Chico's sale, right? I think so. So she's going off on Ramona, and this is an instance where Ramona just sat... She just stood there fairly silently. And you could tell Ramona was like, "This woman's crazy, and what I said was right, but you could see Ramona was keeping her mouth shut because she saw her friends so mentally unstable that the best thing to do was to say, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." So that was the one time I feel like we've really seen Ramona bite her tongue. You know what? And the funny thing was, is who was it that came in and was kind of mending it? Was it Aviva? Aviva. Yeah, exactly. I think I texted you when I was watching it. And I said, "You know, it's a bad situation when Aviva is your mediator." Oh my God. It's like if Aviva is the one who's doing the mediation between two already cuckoo crazy pants people, then you know that whole situation is definitely like one floor of the cuckoo's nest. Yeah. Absolutely. And by the way, before we move on from this little party, we have to mention Mario's line, which is the best foreshadowing so far when he goes, the best cheaters are the ones that don't get caught. I immediately was like, "Wow." So he just admitted that he cheats on his wife. Yeah. Pretty much. It was, you know, I love this show. So, which clearly we know now is the case because they're not even going to address any of the divorce issues on this season. Yeah, because I think it happened after they were done shooting, right? No, it was, it actually happened like mid-season I was told but they faked it. Oh, wow. I know, thinking they would get away with it, you know me with my inside scoop at the magazines. So it's like, it's really kind of gross. Like they faked it because they thought it would be good for their daughter Avery, which Avery checked out like three seasons ago. Yeah. I think Avery is going out to college and she's leaving everything else behind. Oh my God. Avery's like my mother's embarrassing. She's in denial. She's completely crazy. I got to tell you, honestly, I think something's wrong with Ramona. Like in a serious sense, not like, "Oh, something's wrong with this, it's just fucking crazy." No, in real life, I think she is actually such an irritatingly crazy woman that if I had to sit next to her on an airplane, I would fucking kick out the windows and jump out. Like I would risk everyone on that plane's life because there's no way I could sit next to her. I would rather listen to someone snap their gum for six hours straight or be allowed to or even maybe bite their nails or pick their toenails. This is why Ramona, Sonia, and Aviva are the perfect little alliance because all three of them are batshit crazy, whereas then on the other side you have Carol, Heather, and Kristen, who have their craziness, but they're more or less, they seem like sane, sane women who I like. I think Kristen's... I actually like Kristen the most, but sometimes I think she's really attractive and other times I don't. Oh, I think she's attractive all the time. Really? Yeah, I think she's beautiful. She's like a Biel to me. She's just a Biel. I think she's got that great like Hamptons, Cape Cod, like natural, Northeastern thing that I love so much, although she was wearing, if I may be a caddy gay here for a moment, she was wearing some crazy lipstick at one of the parties, which is what she talked about. Ew, I noticed that. Little clowny. Little clowny. Little clowny and very young girl, it was like wet and wild that she found it like a 7-Eleven. However, she is really beautiful and tall and statues, and I really feel in my heart that Ramona is jealous of her. Of course. So, let's see. So let's go to the other women. For Heather, her big thing was... Oh, her son, that was really sad all that stuff but her head. That's terrible. I mean, I'm glad that they seem to have a good outlook on this ear situation, but you know, I'm famous for...well, I'm not really famous, but I am outspoken about how I'm like, "Ugh, kids are like so annoying." I'm just not a kid person at all, but believe it or not, I do have a lot of empathy for a lot of situations involving kids, and I just think it's probably the most...I feel like what Heather is going through with her son must just be so difficult and so hard, and that was, I think, pretty heartbreaking watching her breakdown on the beach. It was. It was like a real moment. That was a real moment. And the thing is, it's hard for me to feel a connection to Heather's, you know, persona on TV, because she has that weird, creepy, fake smile that where I don't know if she's hiding behind it or if it's like, whatever it is, it freaks the fuck out of me. But when she was doing that, I then realized, "Oh my God, that really is the way she is," because she's talking about her son who almost died and it has to go through all the stuff, and that cannot be easy. I don't care if you like children or don't like children or anything, even if it comes to pets. I just feel like when you have a connection and you love something so much and there's nothing you can do to help it, you have to be an unemotional person and go, "You know what? That is a terrible situation." And I don't like to watch people be sad in that sense. And, you know, absolutely, meanwhile, and so I was texting Katie during this episode, and I was like, "This episode's hilarious. Everyone's fighting. You're the one who hasn't gotten to a fight this carol." And I literally was like, "Wait for it, dot, dot, dot." So as we got towards the end of the episode, we had a clam bake, which is funny because it afforded us a moment when Ramona could say, "Is the ocean sterile? Is it sterile?" I know. And I just... I know. She's going, "Well, you know, I need to wash this glass out." So is this... Is this the ocean sterile? Can I put my glass in there or is it sterile? So forgive me. All right. Whatever. Whatever. I asked the question. Big deal. Whatever. And it's like, shut the fuck up. I know. Ramona. So once again, there was another attempt to have Carol and Aviva. Aviva. So this... I actually love book games. So every time they go at it, I actually love it and I cringe, but I understand that people are getting sick of it. I'm not sick of it because after Ramona whipped out, or Aviva whipped out that book, I screamed. I screamed and jumped on my couch like Tom Cruise on Oprah. Well, so what happened was the two of them go off to a beach blanket and they're like trying to be calm. Sure. They're like, well, Aviva's trying to be calm. Carol, Carol is still coming on a little aggressive. But I think Carol's had it with that hooker. Absolutely. And Carol's like, what did I say that defends you so deeply that you started to say these lies about me? And Aviva had no real answer. And by the way, side note, I love the little interstitial that showed Carol doing her audio book and she's narrating it and she narration was terrible. She was like, and then the widow said to the man, let's open the door. I was like, oh my God. And she starts laughing and she goes, aha, can I do it again? And all I could think of was today, I have to read like three pages of dialogue for some confidential Apple project. And it was impossible to read. It was so hard. They wanted me to do it 50 different ways. And I'm thinking, I didn't write this script. However, Carol wrote her own book and probably student it for years, if not years and years and months and whatever. You're assuming she wrote her own book. Yeah. Now I'm starting to question it because she couldn't even read her own dialogue. I'm just imagining being stuck in the car. I love Carol, but like she was just not a good narrator. And imagining being stuck in the car for hours, her being like, chapter three. So then the widow went up this staircase and it's like, oh my God. Anyway, and she has that very like large mouth sound where it's like, that's unbelievable. And then the next thing that happened, they climbed up the stairs and you're like, everything is so over and unsated and large shark mouth. I know, by the way, I love that my version of her book is like a very literal explanation of someone's actions and then she walked out the stairs and then she went in the room. I wouldn't, when she was reading it, did you not see it was pretty close to that? It's not like you're like stretching far from the truth. One of it was like, she looked over her shoulder and noticed he was staring directly into her eyes. She really needs to fire her ghost rider. So, anyway, so they're having this, so Aviva and Carol are trying to clear the air once again. And it's calm. And what I loved is that the other women were like watching from afar and like, okay, everything's fine. Like no hands are up. Everything's fine. And then all of a sudden the wind's like, uh-oh, Aviva's counting. When she starts counting, that's bad news. Oh my God. It was so true because Aviva's sitting there like, once she gets mad, the pinky comes at and then the ring finger and in the middle of the hair, she's just counting, counting, counting. When does the leg fly off? I said, no, but I know it's so terrible. Oh, you mean in the season? Yes. I think you meant like she gets so mad she ticks off her leg and curls it into the ocean. Oh my God. It's like, I mean, I shouldn't laugh about this thing, but could you imagine how amazing that would be if you were at the beach with Aviva and you're like, let's have some wine and then you're like, fuck, we forgot the glasses. You literally could just be like Aviva, let's just pour it into your leg. I'm just, I'm just impressed that Aviva was so calm for so much, the clam bag. I'm shocked that she didn't say that she has some massive phobia about the beach and that there should have been a banner that had been posted on the beach saying, hooray, you made it to the clam bag. You made it. You walked on the beach because there's going to be some horrific childhood memory where she's like, and I was walking on the beach and then all this, an up-pige shit on my face. Maybe, maybe the secret is that a shark bit off her leg, but they used hypnosis to make her believe it was the very small farm machine. By the way, that farm machine went like half a negative of a millisecond mile an hour. Yeah, I'm not sick of my foot in there. Ben, let's talk about article. I just moved into a new house and it is really hard to find quality furniture that, honestly, I can afford without feeling terribly guilty. I found the most beautiful stuff on article. 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And don't forget their library of more than 75,000 movies and shows, all of which I can save and re-watch any time for a whole year. Never miss a minute of shows like The Golden Girls, you know I'm always watching The Golden Girls, and Fylo has it. Best of all, with Fylo, you get all of this for just $28 a month. No contract, no hassles. Just one subscription and a world of entertainment. So go to Fylo.tv and check it out for a free seven day trial. That's P-H-I-L-O dot TV to start watching. And the fact that she has all these fears and phobias yet she fucking stood in there, that terrified me. Yeah. Never like, we're walking a tight rope, then stick my fingers in that fucking escalator mouth crunching machine. It was like saw, it was like, it was like the upstate New York version of saw. Oh my god, it was terrifying, it was like, what is this? Yeah, she can't even like look out the window of an airplane or look at the ocean or be on like, look at a window. She has selective phobias. For instance, last season she made a big deal about going into an elevator and this season she got an elevator in her new home. So there you go. Oh my god, you're right. What a total fucking hypocrite. I never use that word hypocrite ever. Okay, Ramona, wait, who is it? It was Ramona. Ramona, yeah, you're right. All right, so let's move on to Atlanta, which was the other big show. This is, dare I say the biggest show of the week because we finally got to see the big old brawl between Portia and Kenya that's been in the news for so long. Oh my god, the tension of that show, I literally was like, I watched it and drank half a bottle of wine. I was so on edge and nervous. It was like watching a horrible therapy session. Let me tell you something. I believe I said this to you earlier today or maybe it was last night. Kenya Moore has to realize this. When you shouted someone through a megaphone, a foot away from their face, you got to expect that you can get your weave tugged. Okay, it's just going to happen. You point your scepter at them multiple times and go, you do not have this. You do not. And you have that arrogance to your voice. Literally the fact that Portia held off for. I give it to her. I am team fucking Portia all the way, by the way, I have been enjoying Kenya this season, but in this situation, this is definitely team Portia. And what was hilarious to me is that for the past few weeks, the stories in the news were that like Portia beat up Kenya, took her by the hair and dragged her across the floor and gave her a beat down. By the way, this was actually like as fights go, this was like very benign. It was like a tug on the hair and then they sort of like fell over. Oh my God. She barely tugged her cheap ass weave. She fell over. Andy Cohen was like the worst mediator of all time. I think he practically fell over also. And then Kenya, did you love his fake apology when he went and he goes, I am so sorry that that happened to you. That's such a lie. He was thinking ratings go. That was my favorite part, like these like this bullshit sequence where first he like knocks on Kenya's story, he's like, I am so sorry. And then he knocks on Portia's door and he's like, hey, you okay? I was like expecting him to like knock on the craft surface person's door and be like, hey, I know that was tough to watch. He goes down to what security guard, the problem a lot. Sorry. I'm so sorry that there was a fight on the lot. He's not. You know what they didn't show was him high fighting, the other producers and the network going, ratings, jackpot. And then it cuts to Andy Cohen going, I am so sorry and it's like, you're, come on. I'm sorry. He's like, support, she's like, you know, I guess it's just like, it's probably a lot for you to take in and maybe you should just go home. It's like, no, it was not a lot for Portia to take in. She had a woman yelling in her face with a megaphone. And by the way, we have to give a big old laugh to Kenya, who by the way, she was like, she was like, Carrot Top over there. She kept on pulling out props, like when, oh, and everyone, the batteries, like there was missing a battery. I'm like, what a skank watch God, like the worst delivery ever. I mean, that was like, well, I can't, I love how candy and like, page, you're just like laughing. Oh my God. By the way, do you realize that like everyone in my close relationship would mean that now watches all these shows because of watch what crappins cannot realistically, even my mother cannot realistically watch the show without watching Candy Burris and thinking of your impression. See now, Riley, Riley always has now batteries in her megaphone, but I'm like, mama, mama, this isn't going to be in the play. I didn't put the megaphone away. Right. See now. See, now, Riley, see, do the dog. Right. Do the throw. See now. Riley, see now. Riley has a megaphone, but like, mom, I was like, don't lose the megaphone in the pre nut. We're talking. I don't know. By the way, I can't wait for next week because it talk like Mama Joyce finally gets called out by Andy Cohen. Oh, I'm so excited. Um, let's see. So what else happened on this? So obviously, a symphony. A symphony. I know. Let's talk about it. Can we talk about Neenie? Neenie is. That's a symphony. That's a symphony. Cynthia. Neenie. It's like a blend. It's like, it's like their celebrity name is Cynthia. You know, Cynthia and Neenie are clearly not friends and don't even fucking speak anymore. Yeah. Well, that's, you know what though? This is Neenie's fault because, you know, I think Cynthia is boring as hell, but at least she seems like a somewhat nice person. She's so pretty. She's so pretty. That's like people on the phone. So I could at least look at her pretty face and be reminded what a classy African American woman is because the other hookers are like putting it to shame. I know. Well, I've always, I've been saying this for a while now that Bravo is great at like making everyone racist because they really present the worst of like every race and religion and like exploitation. Yeah. Shaws of sunset, gay guys on, on a millionaire, whatever the million, anything, anything. And every day Bravo is terrible. Everything. It's like the worst you could possibly get. And like, I don't get who's running the network there because if I, I hope that there's no African American people that work there, black people, whatever, because I think like they really do make black women look like all they do is fucking bitch at each other, talk shit, do nothing all day. And I have black friends and I'm sorry. It's offensive. It's really shit. I love it. I love it. I do. And it's like, we all always discuss it. It's like, I don't still look like Brandy Glanville where it's like, I am black friends. Yeah. No, you don't. Cause you would never say the things that you said. If you really, it's, it's like making fun of anyone, Asian people, black people, Indian people. There's just no need to do it unless you really see a difference. By the way, Asian people are the only ones who have gotten out of this scot-free because Bravo has yet to shine their magnifying glass on, on Asian people and, and like provide like the worst stereotypes ever. But anyway, so let's go. I want to go talk about Nini though. So, okay. So yeah. I'm eating. She was shady. She was bitchy. The whole fucking episode. And the past few reunions, she's been like that, but she's really acting like that and she's got to take that scepter out of her ass because she takes any Kenya scepter out of her ass because she, she is no longer the only queen there as much as we are on Porsche side Kenya is like, as I would say as much of a star of this show as Nini is at this moment. I think Nini is disposable now and she doesn't realize that Nini thinks that she's the shit. She is so cold and frosty. I forget what Andy called her out about or she had someone. He read someone's like, like question that was and, and Nini, Nini left it off. Yeah. No, it's basically said like, so you're not doing this show. You're not doing that show and you turned down Candy's thing saying, oh, like I would do a Candy Burris production. I turned down blah, blah, blah. And I'm going to go from the guy who created Glee to her. Isn't that being like something like really means your French goes, no, but she, there was something else that someone called her out about something and she like laughs. I guess they can think that the sandwich when she said that, that Nini said to Candy Burris, well, she doesn't need to be eaten sandwiches anyway. Yeah. And they said, don't you think that that's bad that you're calling her out when you're not, you know, whatever? And she goes, no, and her same little bitchy ass laugh. And it's like, wow, we need to alienate everyone and have no one be on your side over fans saying when she doesn't even say hello to her fans. Yes. Right. Well, you know, the funny thing is that Nini, she's always, by the end of every season, she has got such a bitch face on and she's such a bitch. And then she realizes how badly she came off. So then, so then the next season, the first half, she's always like funny and you're like, oh, good old Nini's back. But then her sour plus ways come out again because she can only fake it for so long. And it's like the same cycle. And I'm like, I'm a little sick of Nini. Like, I, you know, she, she, Nini's gots to go. She's like Gretchen Christine, plugging all her crap and I mean, enough with the house-wise wearing. Oh, that's like the guy from Real Housewives of New York, the husband of Kristen wearing his energy drink, fucking vitamin packet, water, shirt and hat on every single episode. It's irritating. Nini, I think, I think it's time, I'm going to go out there and this is crazy, but I think it's time for Nini to go. She gives funny interviews. Her interviews are almost unparalleled. I mean, she gives funny lineers, but it's not enough. It's not enough anymore. Because you know what? Faedra gives great interviews too. She gives excellent ones. She had the funniest shit to say. Oh, I love Faedra. I remember when she said, I would rather blah, blah, blah, then Porsche taking a, what was it that a test or whatever Porsche take in the SATs or something like that? I don't, you know, the thing is I can never remember the lines because there's so many great one-liners that I just, I can't, I can't even remember them all. Oh, I love, love, love Porsche. She can't go away. She's pretty and dumb and everything that makes for a great reality TV. I know. And I loved how after she like tugged on Kenya's weave, she then like was like, had like this patting attack on the floor, but it was like, I liked that her sentiment was like, I'm so embarrassed. I'm so embarrassed. Thank God. Thank God you're embarrassed because even though it really wasn't your fault, Porsche, it's nice to see that someone on this show has an ounce of shame in them. Yeah, but I actually felt, I really did. I'm not kidding when I saw her on the floor and she kicked the floor as hard as she could with her heels on. Yeah. I knew she genuinely was so pissed in my favorite line of the night and I will state this. This is one of my faves of all time for Real Housewives is I can't believe that that ratchet how made me go there. I mean, winning statement of the night. It's sort of like, it's like a mantra that we could all live by. You're right. I can't believe that ratchet how made me go there. Wait, so you have to remind me what else happened because I watched this on Sunday. But for some reason, I can't remember anything because I think I was like tired and sometimes I'm tired, I don't retain things in my brain. You know what? I totally hear you. And I retained it all because I watched it last night and I was just like dying. That's why I was like texting like a crazy woman. So one of the other things that happened was they discussed Candy's wedding. They discussed Porsche and the, I guess, Kenya, like accused her of cheating and that's when everything started fucking that like she lit the fire and it was like pretty much over at that sense. Yeah. She loves to see crazy shit at the reunion. You know, last last season, she implied that Apollo had AIDS. I mean, she really, she says things. And then what was the other thing? She said that was that she, she said something that someone said was below the belts. Oh, when, no, she said that Phaedra said something below. She's like, you know, that's really below the belt because she said that she had scrambled eggs. Yeah, which is so, it's mean, but it's hilarious. And, but I'd like is that like, Phaedra is like saying, no, no, like I wasn't hitting below the belt and then Kenya's being obnoxious to them. And Phaedra's being like, whatever, you're not a mother, you'll never be one. Yeah. So the, nobody wants to go there. Nobody in life really wants to subject themselves to be like ghetto or whatever. But the thing is, Kenya's one of those people, and I know people like this, that are provokers. They test the waters. They test the waters. They test the waters. And then when they get burned, they're like, Oh, why would she do that? When she actually said last night, why would she do that? I'm like, because you kept pointing your fucking scepter at her face. And then finally, after the third time, why did Cynthia not push the megaphone away? I, well, Cynthia, she's a giant wallflower. That's why. Really? She doesn't, like, she doesn't do anything. She would never push it away because she doesn't even have that thought, you know. Wait, did they, do you know if bar one is still open or did they lose their lease? Uh, I'm sure they lost it because if there's anything we know about Peter, I'll well, you know, Peter, he can, he can not give a finance. Oh, my God. Peter. Well, you know, bar one. Oh, you know, Peter. Oh, I miss Miami. I know. I mean, we may never see it again. Wait. Is it not coming back? Well, it wasn't, it didn't get the official, it didn't get an official pickup. And I saw Ronnie and I actually went to Leah's house a few weeks ago. And she was like, I don't know what I think yet. Oh my God. Wait. Which, which house out here? Yeah. You know, she has a house here in the hills. She had a little party. It was nice. It was fun. It was like Jenny Poulos was there in Lance and Lance Bass. Okay. Thanks for the invite. I'll make sure I don't invite you to my wedding now. So, next time, you know what, you know what, I think you two would, you would hit it off. So I will definitely. I think so too. But you know what? I'll remember that when babyface is singing, um, if I could change the world and Lionel Richie's singing "Lady" and you're at home and I'm texting you about how fabulous my party is. Fine. I'll remember that, Ben Nendelker. Fine. Fine. Hey, hey, what are you doing right now watching recaps on stupid Bravo or are you at my wedding listening to Lionel Richie sing under a 100 year old oak tree with hanging chandeliers? You're welcome. I believe this ratchet hoe is making me go there. Yeah. So anyway, why don't we move on? Is there anything else that was like major, uh, that I'm missing or can we go on to Orange County? Let me think. The reunion. I think just waiting for next week when Mama Joyce comes on. Yeah. That'll be good. All the ways it was shade between Cynthia and Nini, they weren't even talking. Nini was being a complete, see you next Tuesday, you know, a Malibu country, she wasn't even, she wasn't even talking to anyone and he had to pull shit out of her. Yeah. Candy was being, I thought candy look great was being cute, very supportive in her house slippers running after Portia. I just, it was kind of a mess, honestly, it was really messy. I felt like I wanted to dip everything in ranch, drink wine, and then take a bath and bleach. Well, that's what I do every night. So speaking of Malibu country, why don't we move on to Orange County? Where Malibu country did rear its head yet again? Oh my God. It's like that show, is it, did it get picked up or did they just keep bringing up a non-existent show? It just, it feels like it's been on syndication because it's gets mentioned so many times. So it's like owls. Yeah. So, you know, there was a lot of stuff that happened on this episode, but what I really want to talk about, and I think really what we have to, the only thing that was really worth mentioning, is this new lady Shannon, who I kind of love her because she's crazy. Wait, gongshoe Shannon? What? gongshoe Shannon. Gengshoe Shannon with jewels in her teeth because on the one hand, there's something about her that I do find oddly relatable that I'd like. She says things that I'm like, yes, yes, you're right. That's good. Yeah. And then she blows it by doing something completely crazy like saying she buried diamonds in the foundation of her house and crystals. Oh, she's like crazy worse because at least Asa looks the part with her weird facial beads and all whatever happens. Great. She looks exotic and like I would believe for diamond water. Yeah. Crazy Orange County lady. This looks like crazy Orange County lady. She does. And I love that like on the one hand, she is like uppity and snobby in a way that I like where she's like, well, I'm sending my daughters to cotillion because I think there's a place for good manners in this world. And I'm like, yes, yes, lady in Orange County, someone used to have some manners, you know? Yeah. When everyone's like, all these kids are spoiled and my kids need to learn the value of making money and then then cut to mommy. I want an eye found and she's like, okay, honey. Yeah. And you know, I thought it was like funny. I liked when she was like, well, you know, on the one hand. I want to live in like a eco-friendly place that's like clean and healthy and go hand other hand. I drive an escalade. I make no sense. I'm like, yes. Thank you. Like that's all I need for these women to admit. They make no sense. Yes. But I like that. She's like Alexis couture. Yes. But you know, at the same time, she is so crazy and it's hilarious how she gets so fussy about things like the. The woman. Oh my God. The or have a nine lemons at any given time in her basket in the kitchen. I told you this. I told you it's fun. You know that there needs to be seven lemons in that and he's like, what the fuck are you talking about? I know. I have a window like menu planning for the dinner party on the one hand. I feel like I could like hang with her and just be like, yes, let's talk about the menu. She's like, well, we're going to make the beef because everyone loves my beef and it's good. And I don't care what you say. He's like, well, beef's a little heavy. He's like, it's not heavy. It's beef with a vegetable. And well, there'll be potatoes. Well, I have to make my potatoes with the goat cheese, but beef with potatoes, the goat, she's in a vegetable and a salad. I don't see what the big deal is. Oh my God. Oh my God. She is totally crazy. It's a range, you know, and then I love the way she just airs her dirty laundry whenever she can. And she's like, why did she talk shit about her husband. That's terrible. They'll be they'll be out somewhere being like, Oh, did you, uh, did you see the new James Bond? And she's like, well, I think my husband's a secret agent because I never see him and I've never spent any time with him. Yeah. Oh my God. Or at the day. By the way, how awkward was it when she screamed out? Oh my God. Wait, can we just talk about how mean Vicki Gundelson's son is to her? Oh, you know what? He he's allowed. He's allowed. He's had to put up with a lot in his life. He has a Vicki as his mother. Really? Because he could not have Vicki and he he could have Laurie as his mother. And he, you know, he's he's, I don't think he's really mean. I think he's just drool. You know, he's no Shane Kio. You remember Shane? Gina. Oh my God. That's an asshole. Yeah. That is an asshole. I think I saw him working at like, um, some weird bar out here. Yeah. Well, uh, I thought he was he's he's supposedly in L.A. trying to pursue his dream of acting, which is hilarious. Wait, just like it. No, he's not. Yeah. He's an actor. Yes. I can't wait to see what softcore porn he does on Showtime. He's going to be like, Hey, they called me in for Malibu country. Oh my God. No, it's going to be some weird baseball porno. I would watch that. Like like batters up. Well, he could do a porno with that girl from Laguna Beach who went into porn. Wait, who's that? She was from season three, which is the one that no one really watched. And she wasn't even a main cast member. She was like a supporting one who came in here and there. And, uh, Aubrey, uh, Audra, what's her name? It was none of none of those, um, I didn't watch it. So I've never seen one episode Audrey. What's her name? No. It's yeah. Yeah. Adrina. That's the Hills. No, no, no. Anyway, the point is this, this new woman, what I also like about this new woman, this crazy new Shannon lady is it's clear that she and Heather are going to hate each other soon. Oh my God. Heather. And when Shannon goes, when Heather was speaking, a little red flag went up. I thought she has a lot of opinions. I was like, Oh, it begins. Oh, I know. And this is what this is episode two and you know, actually, I feel like Shannon would be a very, she'd be a good rival for Heather because I think she would step up to Heather and she'd be rich and has a coat check, but no motorcade. Oh, yeah, it's like, Oh my God, they don't have a motorcade. No, it's so funny. You said that. We're the only people this neighborhood with a motorcade like who the fuck cares about a motorcade like what do you even park there? What do you park in your what your fucking stage goes? Are you having the president of Ghana drive up to visit? I know with lions. I mean, what is this coming to America? I had to say, I did find myself getting oddly entrenched in the potato drama when the potatoes were not ready. It's like, they're not catch. Oh my God. I asked the microwave them. I'm like, what do you mean? What's wrong with that? That's all I cook. The potatoes are crunchy. I know. I'm like, here's the thing. She's making fun of the microwave and I was like, I liked her in the beginning, but then I was like, Oh my God, that's how I cook. What's wrong with the fucking microwave? It's got you up and you bitch. I wish I had taken notes of all the funny things she said because it's not that she just gets pissed or annoyed. It's like, you can see that she's rattled by things. When people are on time, she's like, I don't understand the point of it. I have these kids that have to go to Catillion and they're not ready for me. She doesn't understand how her potatoes could be undercooked and how the soup cannot be ready and how her husband could only buy two bottles of lime, which is crazy. I mean, it was really impressive for him. No, you know what? I think you did it on purpose. I think she, first of all, she's the breadwinner. Yeah. Well, she's like an heiress. Well, on top of that, by the way, if I may turn my nose up, if you've got as much money to have your own co-check, et cetera, you should have so many bottles of wine in your little wine cellar that is there at any given time for emergencies that you should have to send your husband out to get like two or three bottles of wine. You should have like 20. Yeah, you've got a basketball court downstairs, then you should at least have a wine cellar with some bottles. I mean, I don't have to have them because I'm poor and I'm looking at my wine rack right now and it's empty, but that's because I'm me and I don't have a basketball court in my house. I don't listen. I don't have a basketball court, but you can come to anywhere where I make round, like even my closet has a wine bar. I have a co-check. It does. I mean, look, you came to my office today, so you know, I have like five bottles of wine there. I mean, look, it has to be. I have five bottles of wine for two people. Now imagine if I was having a dinner with a bunch of drunkards like Vicki Gundlson and Tamara Barney. I mean, two bottles of wine. I love when Shannon, again, another like first world problem. She was like, if the blowtorch, what did they call it? Oh my gosh. It's one crazy. She's like, if the creme brulee torch isn't working, I'm going, look at my shit. I was like, this woman is so crazy, but I'm like, I love the things that she's complaining about. But whatever happened is a new one. I thought we're going to see her. Yeah. You know what? Because Shannon's so crazy that they can't even, they have to like stagger them, it seems like because the new one has, I don't even know where she is. She keeps appearing in the credits. I know. And I saw her in the beginning where her stupid statement. And then I was like, by the way, what is Shannon's statement, do you know? It's probably like, I'm so hot, you can, I can torch a creme brulee. No, I bet, I bet it's something like this where she like turns around and she goes. Some people call me crazy, but I call it, it's got to be something like that. You know, like a Vicki Gundelson meets Tamara Barney needs remotissing her old Alexis. It's probably like, I always have seven lemons in the baskets and two, two eyes on the prize. Yeah, or something dumb like that, like the, the only diamond or I have more diamonds than on just my finger, the buried under my house. You know what I'd like about Shannon? I actually don't feel like she's being faked for the camera or like I don't feel like she's like some of these other air heads that have come through. I feel like she truly is a woman with so much time and money on her hands that she can't help but do crazy, stupid things. You know, like even more so than the other women we've seen. Like she has no, there's no, she's not trying to sell clothes, a fashion line, she's not trying to make toasters. She's just like, I have a lot of money and I'm going to spend it on crystals in my mouth and energy reading on my liver and that's that and I'm going to get paranoid about things like creme brulee torches because this is what my life is all about. Oh my God. You're right. But that's the thing. I actually felt kind of bad for her because I'm like, she, she's letting the whole world know all the stuff up front. I mean, what is really, if this is what it's giving us in episode two, can you imagine what's to come up this season? I feel like it's going to be Heather Dubrow and Shannon battling it out. Absolutely. I'm, I'm ready. I'm ready for it. And she, and she's so mean to her husband, both of them, actually, both of them are mean to their husbands. They are, they, they really are. The only thing that would prevent a big fight from happening would be if Heather gets called back for yet another role on Hawaii Fiva, which is this year's Malibu country. Oh my God. And P.S. Can we just talk about Terry calling his three year old daughter a bitch? Yeah, what do you, I mean, I'm not particular to children as much, but I love them and I'll be around them and that's great. However, really calling a three year old a bitch, maybe it's your parenting to like, I wouldn't even like, like, I can see oddly enough, I can see if you're with some friends and you just had to make just like a really crass, like tasteless joke that's a joke. But on TV, your own child, it's, it's a little, little much, I mean, no, no, okay, it's gonna take away that damage. Exactly. He already talked about two fours. He talked about other stuff. And now we call this three year old little totalling cutie daughter a bitch. So at this point, I, I kind of feel like they, are they going to build their house, like Poltergeist style on an Indian baro ground? Probably except the ghost we have to see Heather and run away. Oh my God. She's gonna be out of the bed and run away. That she's, they are actually the realm there. She's gonna reach in, she's gonna reach in to a closet and pull out the little blonde girl. The little blonde girl is like, take me back. I want to go back to my house on the other side, okay, I bet you this. The little, the clown that hides under the bed is going to climb up and look at Heather's cheekbones and go, Oh my God, those cheekbones are higher than mine and then crawl back under the bed. Now and under the bed is Coco. You know what? I'm going to have to like take now, like some sort of ambient because the fact that you just told me that's going to freak me out. Well, maybe it's Heather. I mean, Heather does look like the sort of thing that would be under a bed. Well, because she has the jigsaw face. Yes. She has like the guy from Saw. She's like jigsaw meets the evil queen in like some like sleeping beauty or snow light. Yeah. And now mal mal maleficent meets jigsaw Malibu efficent country meets the clown under the bed from Poltergeist. Yeah. I mean, there you go. Yet she claims she had never any work done. I know. Meanwhile, let's see, Tamara, she wants to have a kid with Eddie, which is kind of crazy. Is it she like 50? And she got, she has a tubes tied, right? I don't know what's going on. I don't know. Yeah. But she's, she's almost 50. That's the weird thing. She's like, oh, we're both in our forties. It's like, when you say, that's like me saying I'm in my thirties. I'm 36, but I'm closer now with age wise to 40, but I mean, well, I don't know. I guess if I was 38, I'd be like, well, I'm in my thirties, but it's not like I'm 31. Listen, it's Tamara. She's very stupid. Um, with her cut, how much plugging of cut fitness do we have to see to a real CUT fitness malibu cut trade? Malibu cut fitness. Um, I'm trying to think what other, well, you know, Vicki liked Shannon, which was, which is also unexpected. I guess nothing really else happened. I think this is me. This episode was pretty much the Shannon show. I mean, was there a, what other women are there? I mean, there's Heather, they're Shannon, there's Vicki, Vicki went to therapy to talk more about Brooks and Brianna, which is like the same old bullshit. Oh my God. Enough. It's like, is Brooks going to come back on because if he's going to like make appearances, he's going to remind me of Slade Brooks is the new Slade. Yeah. Brooks is. He's terrible. Um, I think that's, I think we've pretty much covered it. And if we haven't, that's too bad because I'm going to, I'm going to pull the plug on this podcast episode because it's one 27 in the morning and I still have work to do and I got to drive to Arizona in the morning. Oh my God. I have to tell you, I'm so glad we covered all of our bases and everyone, it's because Katie, because Katie called up as mentioned, she called up yesterday and was like, oh my God, like this, you have to talk about these shows and I was like, well, I honestly like Ronnie can't do it this weekend. I don't think I have time to do a podcast and Katie is like, no, you have to carve out one hour of time. I mean, how could you not do that? You're right. You're right. Okay. This is, I'm just going to make this statement and I don't want to sound like Ramona Singer when she says, move over Kristin, you're not the only mommy who can model. Remember when she did that and it was like so scripted and contrived. I just want to say thank you for letting me come on and do this because I was so into it this whole week. Like I've been like going crazy with watching these shows and people, people need to hear your voice. Thank you. I think people need to hear my voice too. Well, listen, if you haven't talked in third, you are not a house wise fan. If you haven't referred to yourself in third person, well, Ben feels the same way. Well, you know, it ain't a Katie thing if Katie's not involved. So I'm feeling a little off Katie today. Well, I hope you all are enjoying hearing our voices, whether you're here in Los Angeles or, I don't know, in the Hamptons or up in San Francisco. I hope you're anywhere in between, anywhere in between, specifically the in between places. I like the in between place. So is cozy. Like Oklahoma. Unlike Vicki, I am open to Oklahoma listeners. That's right. I love Norman Oklahoma. I had a fun time there. So go Oakies. Yay. All right. So Katie, thank you so much for coming on and making sure this episode happens tonight. Everyone follow Katie on Twitter and other platforms at the Painted Nail, although on Facebook, she's official Katie Kazurla. I'm beside blog on Twitter and on Instagram and on Vine. I have been holding steady with my Twitter numbers at around like 5,600 for I think about a year. So I would like to get that higher and get that higher. Come on. Follow Ben. I don't know. I don't know what it's going to take. You know, on my other on my other podcast, the banter blender, I complained extensively about my Twitter situation and I talked about how Tony Catan unfollowed me. And I wondered what I could have possibly said to make Tony Catan unfollow me. So be sure to check out my other podcast, the banter blender, which is on iTunes. We'll search for it. What else do I have to talk Facebook.com forward slash watch what crappins and follow me beside blog. Thank you everyone for listening. Hopefully will Ronnie and I will be reunited next week. If not, someone will be here. United and it feels so good. Oh good. Oh my god. Can't deaper us fight right now. Oh my god. That is amazing. That's like Terry feeder from America's Got Talent. Well, I am going to audition with my candy burst voice and see how far I get. So impressed. Okay. Thanks Katie. And thanks everyone. Good night. Good night. If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the internet. 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