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Don't let someone steal your great idea, register a domain name now and put your idea online. GoDaddy is offering one new or transfer.com for the low price of 295. Whether you're building your dream business or starting a website for fun, visit goDaddy.com and enter the code WWC295 at checkout. Just remember that WWC is Watch For Crapids and 295 is the price of the domain, $2.95. It's go time, some limitations apply, see website for details. Hey everyone, welcome to Watch What Crapids, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo. That we love. I'm Ben Mandelker from Beside Blog.com. You can find me at Beside Blog on Twitter and Instagram and Vine and Pinterest a few we care to go that deep. Ronnie is off tonight, he is busy, so as a substitute, there's no finer man to fill those shoes than one of the original three musketeers himself, Mr. Matt Whitfield. Hi Matt. Hey Ben, thanks for having me. Well, you're welcome. Matt can be found at life on the M-list on Twitter and other various social media. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Can you actually still use Pinterest and Vine or was that so 2013? Let me tell you something about Vine, okay. There is a Vine user named King Batch, that's his Vine name. He has probably about 4 million followers, okay? Lots of naked photos, not naked photos. No, no, it's like he just does these crazy videos, he's like famous on Vine. I went to, as we were talking right, before the podcast, I went to Bootcamp directly before this podcast, so I'm like, Lucy, you see, I'm like barely standing or sitting. He actually was in my Bootcamp class and let me tell you something, the people that came up to him, mobs of people. Are you kidding? I am not even joking. So one thing that you have to do is you start at the Nike store at the Grove and you run to the park and as, so you run through the Grove and then out to Beverly, I'm sorry to Third Street and you run along Third Street and go into the Pan Pacific Park. As, first of all, when we're just standing at Nike Town, the people on the trolley were screaming out to him, they're like, "King Batch, King Batch!" No joke. And then I think they got off the trolley and came over, it's like they swarmed him, took pictures. And then when we were running, as we run, people were like, "That goes King Batch, that's King Batch!" People are screaming. We were on the street, there was this car of these like, big black ladies and they're like, "Aa, King Batch!" It was crazy. Was it Toyo or Mariah? She's like, "I have came to the Grove and now I see King Batch." So when you say do people use buying the answers, yes? How many people on the trolley ask for your photo or autograph? They're like, "Hey, you, you, get out of the way if you want King Batch!" I've actually invited King Batch to come on to my other podcast and I hope he does come on. I've run into him and he actually remembered me from like six months ago. So fingers crossed, he'll be on the banter blender. And so we'll see. But in the meantime, the answer is yes. People do use mine. And they also use Facebook and they should follow this podcast on Facebook, Facebook.com/Watchwhatcrapins. It's super, super fun, lots of good stuff. So Matt. I tried to post something to the Facebook page today and when I got there after I posted it, I noticed that 10 minutes before me, two other people had posted the exact same thing. So I had deleted it and I felt damn, back in the day, I used to be first. Was it Michael Cook? Because he's very fast. It was Michael Cook. He was one of the two and everybody definitely needs to go to the Facebook page and check out this video that Jezebel put together. I don't know if some of you ladies look at the Jezebel blog, but it's actually quite hilarious on a daily basis, but they put together a two to three minute video montage of the various real housewives attempting to cry with their Botox and it was really just sad and creepy and hilarious all at the same time. I feel like I would feel so fulfilled on a personal level if I saw that. Yes. Well, you definitely should check it out because it's on your own Facebook page. I will check it out. I haven't had a chance to go on this afternoon. So Matt, what's going on? We've emailed, but we haven't talked in a little bit. What's going on with you? How's life? Life is crazy, but crazy good. I don't know. I have a new boss. Work is out of control. That's the same old same old. I explained this to Ronnie a few weeks ago, but I hadn't been watching Bravo at all. The people's couch drama took its toll on me. I was like, I can't handle this. I hate that network. I hate all the shows. It was too much. Yeah. And then I reimbursed myself over the course of one weekend where I thought that I had to work and I found out I wasn't on call and I was like, oh, I'm free. Let me just watch Bravo for 48 straight hours. Yeah. Fell back in love with all of the cast of characters that we've been following for years on end here. And then I also had to ramp up because OC and New York are my two favorites, so I had to get back in the game. That's pretty much it. Well, that's why I actually emailed you because I was like, you know what, if there's anyone who loves the OC, and if there's anyone who I feel like I associate podcasting about the OC season premiere with, it's you. Do you remember the time you came over here and watched the season premiere, I think two years ago? I did. I kind of think that it was a date, but it wasn't. I might have felt that it was, but it definitely was not. Really? No. I am totally kidding. Yeah. You know, you're too light skinned for me. I was about to say that, but I didn't know if I could go there. It's okay. And you know that you're not, you know, well, I won't say it. Never mind. I'm the devil people. I'm still the devil, but I'm not going to say that. It's okay. So anyway, Matt, since you do still work at Yahoo and you are still around all the news and stuff. Do you have any good gossip for us on the Real Housewives front? Well, yeah, there's a lot. There's a lot to talk about. I think that we should definitely start with the mug shot of all mug shots. Oh, yeah. Russia obviously decks the shit out of Kenya on the upcoming Real Housewives of Atlanta reunion. Yeah. And it was only a matter of time until Kenya press charges, but she did earlier this week. And then Portia turns herself in today. And Ben, I hope you've seen it, but this is the most glamorous mug shot in the history of all time. She really, you know what? She did it up. She made her hair look good. She had the makeup that she, this was no Nick Nolte situation. No, it was definitely not a Nolte situation. It was in a low hand and Nicole Richie situation. It was glamour shots straight out of Sears. Oh, yeah. And I respect that. I appreciate it. I appreciate Portia's effort. You know, she's got to sell it if she wants. She does. She does. I do have to say though that her makeup always looks like it comes from one of those like, I don't know if you know what, like Bonnie Bell is like a little girl's like chapstick kit where it's like, I don't know, she looks like she wears cheap ass clown makeup. Why does one need a kit for chapstick? It seems pretty, it seems pretty like self-explanatory. It just comes in a little tube, but then you get an item. I just don't know certain things. I have certain gaps in my knowledge. Exactly. But anyway, what do you think about Kenya pressing charges? I mean, well, she antagonizes Portia all season long. And if anything, if anybody on that entire cast deserves a beat down is definitely Kenya. Well, you know what? She's acting out of grief because poor velvet, dearly departed, was a very important member for her. And of course, she's going to act out and I do not blame Kenya. Just kidding. Don't blame Kenya. Of course I do. Of course I do. No, she's a crazy bitch and she provoked it and from the previews, look like she has some sort of scepter. Of course, she's got a scepter, but she also had a megaphone band and Cynthia gets caught in the middle and trust me, I hate Cynthia more than any of them. But like, if I was sitting on one of those couches and somebody whipped out a megaphone, you don't even know the beat down that I will. Oh, I believe it. I believe you would be like a cat, you know, like, remember that movie Oliver and company from the 80s? I have no idea what you're talking about. I was born in the 90s. Oh, okay. Well, it's a cartoon. And there's a moment where a cat walks over a subway grate for some reason I always remembered that. And it's here. It goes like shh, in all directions. That's what you do. But that's what would happen to you. You would be full on Oliver and company. Okay. So you're saying that I would act like a cat and there's nothing in the world that terrifies me more than cats. So thanks. Yeah. Well, you know, you can't help it. Yeah. So clearly there's more drama to go down there. But if anything, I think that the beat down and the lawsuit and the mugshot, if anything, it's secured Porsche a third season on this show. So smart girl, right? Yeah, very smart. And Kenny is not going to see it all the way through because I'm sure Bravo will say don't do this. And then they'll have a season of like, you know, bitterness. And then I'm sure they will make up because the truth is all these feuds can be soft when the producers say, okay, we want you to make up as evidenced by Abiva and Ramona suddenly being best used again. And villains have to become heroes and heroes have to become villains. It's just is the circle of a real housewife. It's the circle is the circle of a housewife. Now we also have to talk about a lot of shady shit that is going down with my arch nem Tamara aka Tammy Sue Vith Barney what is happening with her and cut fitness. Who cares about cut fitness? Let's talk about Simon, her ex-husband and all the drama that is going down with her children. So apparently we know that Tammy Sue's old eldest son, Ryan is on the show. That's fine because he comes from, you know, probably some husband many moons ago. Yes. A previous, a previous recreational vehicle. Yeah, exactly. And no signatures are needed for Ryan's. And he's also not a minor, so. He's not a minor despite the fact that he has an inner lip tattoo and a serious balding issue. Yes. Despite his education level, he is not a minor. He is not. So anyway, Tamara clearly is all about Eddie and cut fitness right now. And we knew that she was a terrible mom, you know, the second she stepped onto the show. Yeah. She now has a teenage daughter, you know, from her relationship with Simon that is 15 who is claiming that Tamara doesn't have any proper food in her house. She only eats takeout. The kids aren't taken care of, Simon is following some suit for full custody because he said that when he picked up one of the younger kids to bring him back to his house, you know, for his week or his weekend that the kid had bugs in its hair, it hadn't taken a shower. I mean, apparently these kids are malnourished and poorly treated when they stay with Tamara and Simon is going full force for full custody. Well, first of all, a few things. Since when is takeout such a bad thing, second of all, who wants Tamara Barney's cooking over takeout? Third of all, I, as much as Tammy Sue is trailer trash, et cetera, I don't really think that her house is, you know, like a third world country. I mean, if they have bug in their hair, that's because they're kids, you know, and remember that Simon is also Mr. Anil, a retentive and he's a crazy, crazy man. So he probably, he's a bug, like any bug and he fills their head with all sorts of nonsense. He's like the mea, he's like the mea fao of the situation. Oh, God. Well, I am a neat freak and I have OCD. So I'm going to side with Simon on this one. If your children are bringing bugs up into my house, that's going to be a problem and I'm going to file a lawsuit. That might just be a general Orange County issue. You know, you just go to Orange County and you come back with bugs. That is very possible. But so what's your take on this? I mean, do you actually think that Tamara is a decent mom or do you think that she's just a star fucker trying to, you know, blow up because she's already had a spin off and now she has a younger husband and now she has cut in this, I mean, she's not cut out to be a mother. Correct. She, you know what? I'm sure she's like an okay mom. I don't think she's, she's not like, this is not like Monique and Precious. Okay. I think that like, she's probably fine and she probably views it like, Hey, kid, ring up pizza. Cause I'm like the fun mom. I'm like the cool mom. She's probably not a great mom, but she's not the derelict that's that she's being made out to be. I don't think. So do you think that Simon is trying to, you know, poison the children that he wants them to. Of course. He is a psychopath. The guy is a psychopath. Okay. He is a psychopath. He is the one who brought charges against Tamara cause she threw a dog leash at his hand. I mean, this is a crazy man. You talk about Kenya more this guy. Well, we know who hates Tammy Sue more than anyone. And that is my all time favorite house, Gina Kiho. So in the back of my mind, I know, well, I know that Gina is still in touch with Simon and still hates Tammy Sue for that. Well, she's probably the part of all this. She's probably the one who's, let's talk to Simon and says, well, you know, Simon, you know, what I hear is that she keeps the kids locked up in a cage. You know what I mean? But I don't know. That's just what I hear. And let me tell you. Exactly. And Gina is probably like spying. You know, she probably has nothing better to do with her life. So she's just spying on Tammy Sue's kids. Exactly. So it's funny that you mentioned this because on your very own website, Yahoo. I read an article that was a, where are they now the former ladies? You did. And why did they lead? I didn't write the piece, but I know I looked. Why did they lead with Quinn? I don't know, but I appreciated it. I thought that was great because, in fact, when they lead with Quinn, I scrolled up again. I was like, Oh, Matt clearly wrote this. And it wasn't. I was like, what? But my favorite part was that they asked all these women, you know, that they give like blurbs and they're, they're all pretty much up to nothing. We're talking about the Kimberly's, the Joe de la Rosas of the world, the Tammy Knicker Bockers. The Gretchen Rossi's two now and the Alexis Bellino all at really every single one. Lynn curtain. So what I love is that most all of them, it's sort of like, it's like, well, you know, I'm doing great things now, but I'm not opposed to going back on the show, you know, you know, I would go. One of them said that they were all like, I'm ready for paycheck. Yeah. They all said it as if Bravo was waiting on them, as if like, you know, like, you know, like, I might like, I'm in a good place in my life now where I think I would go back now. And I think I'd show a different side of myself. I'm like, ladies, you have no choice. But it's not like, like, oh, good Quinn, Quinn finally wants to come back to us. It's like, no, it's not working that way. If Bravo won't take Jills there and back, they're not going to take any of you bitches back. But you know, the funny thing is that Bravo took Alexia back from Miami of all people. They took Alexia. But then again, Alexia brought some crazy season too. Ben, we have not been in touch as of late. Are you still devastated by the fact that Miami is not on the slate for next year? I can't talk about it. But is their fault? You know, they had a bad season. They should have brought it. And what's her face? Joanna Krupa should have kept on drinking and then it would have been a lot better. You know, Leah did her part in what's her face, crazy, Brazilian, did her part. But Alexia was too, you know, a well, you know, beater, you know, she was just doing nothing. And Mama Elsa had to go and get ill. I know. How dare she? How dare she. It's a shame. It's a, it's a, it's a low down dirty shame. So Keenan Ivory wins. It really, yes, with, yes, as that pimp with the goldfishing shoes. So yeah, I saw that movie too. So let's, let's, let's just, actually, you know what, I think the movie I was referencing was not that movie. I think it was his other one, the Chattanooga, Cheechu movie, whatever. And who, why don't we start getting into these shows? Let's get into some shows. Why don't we start with Orange County? It was a big premiere season nine, I think. Was it season nine? The OG from the OC, Vicky Gumbelson, is back for season nine. It's crazy that the show has been on this long. I want to start off by saying how much I truly missed stupid Gretchen Christine and Ethan Slade dare I say, and airhead of all hairheads, Alexa. I have to tell you one thing. I did not miss them. I was actually surprised. I felt like the episode sort of like, it was like, it was like an easy, breezy episode because there was no bullshit Gretchen Christine stuff happening. Alert, alert, alert fans, I'm clutching my pearls. Pearls are being clutched. I am crutching my fleur de lis, and I am telling you right now, like Gretchen used to be awesome, and she just got to be, she sucked so much that like, I was so happy not to deal with her. You know, I was like, I enjoyed this episode. Although one thing I was surprised at was that we didn't see anything from the slutty new girl. Yeah. What was that about? I mean, is her story just that bad? It must be. Because I thought for sure, you know, she's the crazy one. She's the one that Bravo's been pushing, not the other one. That is not true, Ben. I mean, we'll get to it in a second, but like, they are pushing the crazy young one, but in the preview for the entire season, they make it look like Shannon loses her goddamn mind and is screaming and the camera crews are running for cover. Well, that's exactly why she was in the first episode, but I'm saying in all the promos, it was about the slutty girl, you know? Oh, okay. Yes, you're right. All the promos. And I'm excited to see how this new lady, Shannon, unravels because she I love her. Yeah, she actually was like not the craziest at first. I mean, what was crazy about her at all? I mean, she's filthy and rich and her kids are a little, you know, too perfect. Her kids, by the way, let me put on the record. Her daughters are beautiful. They are beautiful daughters. They're gorgeous. They're gorgeous little girls, aren't they? Yeah, no, they are. That's what I'm like. I have her from you. Her house was well decorated for the most part. It was actually, it was like, I mean, it was a little too stately for my, for my taste, but you know, it's like the first time there's been any like whiff of refinement in Orange County. Right. But so here's the deal. What about her red, red, crazy to you? I think the fact that she goes to that crazy doctor all the time is what they like that guy is sat there and he like touched her wrist and like, Oh, well, you're liver. I think you're liver. You got it is broken. Let me touch you here. Now it's fixed. I mean, if I did not have a job and I had millions and millions and millions of dollars and tons of nannies and my children were gone all day, in order to fill my days, I would definitely seek out bizarre physicians to make me buy bizarre herbal medications because what else is this woman going to do with her life? She should be getting a massage. That's true. She should get a massage in one of the rooms of her French Chateau. So I mean, she, so she was like fine at first, no, she didn't really, I remember she had a few amusing lines, but I don't remember what they are because I have all the matters. It looks like she's going to fight to the death with my arch nemesis Heather, who I would like to talk about immediately because I get into her fucking guts. Let's get into Heather. Fancy pants. Please refer to her as fancy pants or you can refer to her as former guest star of Malibu country. She did not get five minutes into this goddamn premiere episode without her mentioning that she's starring on Hawaii 5.0 and that she had done guest spots recently on hot in Cleveland and the canceled Reba McIntyre disaster Malibu country. A show that is famous more for the drama it inspired on this show than for anything that happened on ABC. Exactly. You know, I hate her. I hate her. It's really hilarious that Heather was that, you know, so she went to Hawaii to shoot Hawaii 5.0 and I guess something happens to her character, something terrible because she spent that a few scenes where she's just like talking and she has like blood dripping down her forehead and I thought that was actually a hilarious image, if not perhaps a fantasy or if not foreshadowing to the reunion where Shannon decks her. Yeah. What do you think about the plans for their new mega mansion? I think they're tackiest fuck. I don't understand how they have this much money. She is not like an A-list actress, not even a D-list actress who's making enough money. Did her husband, like does he just give like boob implants around the fucking clock to pay for us? He must. I don't understand. To be fair. He was also on the Swan, wasn't he? That's what I've heard. But you know what though, Malibu country is very popular in Guam and I think there's a lot of money that comes in from that market. Well, I cannot wait to be honest with you until the day because you know, all housewives have financial issues at some point or another or a file for bankruptcy or have their range rovers that they're leasing from five years ago towed from like the country club. I cannot wait for the day that Heather gets a divorce paper served to her or that something happens and the money is gone. Yeah. Yeah. And she goes back to being Heather Page Kent. She is really annoying and it's funny because the first season I really liked her but last season she was just such a bitter wench. To be clear, I have always hated her. Yeah, you have. You were an early adopter of the hatred. But she, you know, I almost got the sense that they're setting her up for a bad edit this season because they were kind of coming down in her a little bit. They were sort of teasing. Oh, they definitely are. But Ben, it is a set up and yes, it is reality TV. We know how they edit these things. But guess what? She is a bad guy because she is a stuck up bitch. She really is. And I think it's funny that Tamara and Vicki are now like thickest thieves again. And you know what the thing that really made me laugh was at one point Tamara was talking about Greschen. She's like, well, I think she's a pathological liar and she's basically dead to me. And I see myself like this fucking bitch, Tamara, because she was like, lovey-dovey with her, like, you know, what are under the bridge. And then all of a sudden, no, never mind. I think you're a liar. I mean, you're such a she's such a catty bitch. Like what are some so two things you can't be you can't say what are under the bridge and then come back to it as we learn as we learn from Aviva and Heather. But we'll get to that. And you know, you guys know how much I hate Tamara. I mean, I think that Tamara Ramona and maybe now Heather are like my top three hated all time, which is a home. Wait, Heather from New York? No, no, no. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. My brain. I've got bootcamp brain. But anyway, so I hate Tamara with all of my being, but but I will give her this as long as she teams up with crazy plastic face Vicki to take on Heather this season, I am okay with it. Yeah, I'm okay, I'm excited to have the OC girls back and I'm ready. I'm ready for the new ladies. There's something about Orange County that, you know, two seasons ago, I thought was not a great one last season. I thought it was good. I am sad that Lydia is not there. I really liked Lydia. I thought she was a good addition. You are crazy. The way Gretchen is the missing factor, Lydia, I like Lydia because she was sweet. She was funny, but she stood up for herself and she really did stand up for herself. And she was so annoying. No, I was a Lydia, a Lydia fan. I was a big Lydia fan. Look, if dreams came true, they would have Lydia, Lynn Curtin, Gina, and Tammy Knickerbauker back in the fold. Well, Lynn has to come back. Like I don't understand why Lynn is not on the show. I mean, and you and I want Lynn back just because she's so pathetic, right? She's pathetic. And she's got these crazy daughters. I mean, it's just, you know, that in that article, it said that Lynn, one of Lynn's daughters is modeling. Is her assistant? The one's assistant and one's modeling. And the one that's modeling is, I think, the older one, Raquel, I'm like, what is she modeling? I think boats add like a show in, you know, the Ozarks, you know, like I can't like not to be caddy about. But you haven't seen her on the cover of Vogue any time recently. Yeah, I'm not seeing her walking down the runway. She's no Gigi. That's for God damn sure. She's no Danielle Stops daughter, that's for sure. Whatever her name is. Chrissy. Chrissy's. She's no Melania. She's no, she's no Ramona singer. That is at Brooklyn fashion week. Oh, what up? Remember when Alex and Simon were all about Brooklyn fashion week and trying to make that that happen? I know. And the funny thing is that like obviously Brooklyn has a very unique culture unto itself. And I don't think fashion week is part of it. I think Brooklyn like Brooklyn would just roll its eyes at a fashion week. It would be more like, like if there was going to be something that would be like a fashion show, it would be a farmer's fashion week. Yeah, exactly. It would be like barista's bringing heads of kale down a runway and like then like rolling your eyes with the audience. Oh my God, okay, back to Ose for a few quick minutes. How boring is Heather? And I would never want to go on a vacation with her. She only like sips one cocktail. She doesn't want to get wild, crazy drunk. She doesn't want to get what? What do they call it? Crazy wasted? Naked wasted. Naked wasted. I mean, my God, when you go on vacation, you're supposed to let loose. Am I wrong? You are. And or if your friends are letting loose, you don't act like a stick in the mud. You don't have to necessarily let loose, but you can at least try to have fun at the same time. None of these women have to pay for anything. None of these women have to drive anywhere. It's like then get wasted on free booze and let someone drive your ass home. Yeah, and stop saying like a champs as if that's going to make you fun, just because you refer to champagne as champs does not actually make you fun. And in fact, I like to call it champs. I like to call it champs. I really just want to club her over the head with a bottle of Dom every time she says that. Like she would club her like a baby fucking seal. And then she'd be like, well, you know that, you know that Dom Perignon bottles are actually very weak and they would shatter and it actually do more damage to the bottle than to my head. That's my terrible which leaves her body in the hidden secret room that she's building in her mansion. Yes. Okay. So let's see another news. Breonna's pregnant and going to Oklahoma. Big deal. Oh, I love Vicki. Yes, it's a big deal. Vicki is not going to be able to handle this. I loved when Vicki was dissing Oklahoma when she's like, Oklahoma's a forgotten state. Like who goes to Oklahoma? What is Oklahoma? What's in Oklahoma? Did you see the night of the premiere Vicki took to her Twitter account to apologize to the Oklahomans or Oklahomians? I don't know what you call them because it is a flyover state, but Vicki took to Twitter to apologize to them because she was getting some haterade. I thought it was hilarious. And for the record, I'll tell you what's in Oklahoma, the pioneer woman. So that's what's there. I drove through it on my way from Washington, D.C. to Los Angeles, but I only stayed one night and I will never go back. I know that there's a farmer in -- there's a farmer and a milkman, I believe. Wait, wait, wait. Did I eat at a cracker barrel -- did they have cracker barrel there? Well, if you're in the real America, I'm sure there's a cracker barrel. I have never -- I had never in my life and I never will again eat at a cracker barrel, but I ate at a cracker barrel on my drive to L.A. 11 years ago when I moved here and I think I ate at a cracker barrel in Oklahoma. Let me tell you, I went to cracker barrel in Massachusetts a few years ago. They have it in New England. The Yankees allow such things? They do. And it's actually very close to the Yankee Candle Factory. And so I went to it -- I bet they have a Yankee Candle Factory in the gift shop in the cracker barrel. Probably. I went to it. I got shits that lasted for three days. And it started in the cracker barrel and I had to go to the bathroom and I was sitting around the toilet. I was sitting there in a toilet and I was like, ugh. And on the radio, which plays in the bathroom, you know what? You know what song was playing? Let me guess. Can I guess? Yeah. Give me a clue. But don't -- give me the full thing. It was patriotic. Born in the USA? No. It -- guess what? Trick question. It wasn't even a song. It was a guy going, "I pledge allegiance to the flags of United States America and to the Republic for which it stands." They do not play that over the last -- one nation that was a hit from theirs. I was sitting there taking a -- I was like, it wasn't -- I was like exploding, exploding into the toilet while this pledge of allegiance is going on over my head in the cracker barrel and I thought -- was it a country fried steak that was double fried and then extra steak or what was it? I think it was a country fried steak, actually. It really was. And so, anyway, that's -- and this is what -- this is what you meet eating murderers have to deal with. Sorry. Yeah. So, by the way, the reference I was trying to make before about Oklahoma, when I said there's a farmer and the most man, I really meant to say there's the farmer and the cow man live in Oklahoma, which is a reference to the musical Oklahoma. If only we had Ronnie here to sing us a tune. I could sing that. Oh, the farmer and the cow man should be friends. I think you'll go like that. You know what I have missed immensely? Are tangents that have nothing to do with Bravo? I know. And you know what I also miss is we used to do those crazy tangents where we do like it smells like or it looks like and we don't really do those anymore and we actually got a request on Facebook to somehow incorporate that because -- Well, maybe it will magically appear as we work our way through the rest of these housewives. I hope so. It has to happen organically. You know, last week, Ronnie and I went on a big tangent where we pretended to be Ramona talking to animals on the safari. Oh, I heard. It was amazing. That was one of -- honestly, it was like one of my favorite things to be done in forever. It reminded me of the good old days of talking about that kind of stuff. Let's get back to -- is there anything else that has to be said about Orange County? I think we should move on to New York. Let's move on. Yeah. We're going to try to be actually a little quick tonight because Matt has to wake up for tennis tournament tomorrow. I got to go win me a trophy. Okay. Let's go to New York and talk about this. I am totally on board with this season. I feel like this cast has gelled. I feel like there are good dynamics, bitchy dynamics. I am excited about it. What about you? I know you are and you know that I love it too. It's probably really, really my all-time favorite. I mean, the first three seasons are the most epic thing ever. Yes. However, Ben, you have to be on board with me on this one. The fact that Luann has been downgraded is a travesty. Travesty. It's her own fault. It is her own fault for shacking up with Jacques and then trying to like pretend that that relationship was going somewhere because if you piss off the editors, it's never going to work in your favor and they're going to downgrade your ass. I just am really bummed because I love that woman. Well, she's like an icon in Bravo, not an icon in the world. She is basically like Bravo's answer to King Batch from Vine. Like if I saw Luann, and if I were in a trolley, I would call out to Luann. Are you, I mean, I feel like you're on the same page as I am and maybe some of the listeners. The listeners are probably too, like if I were at the mall and I were to see like Luann or Kathy Griffin or Jeff Lewis, I would lose my fucking shit. Like you could have George Clooney or Mark Wahlberg or like Julie Roberts walked by and I would turn my nose, give me some Bravo stars. You know what? Here's the thing. There have been some seasons where I just absolutely love Luann and there's some seasons where I'm like, oh, she is a member of cut fitness. But no matter what, no matter what, I just have given myself over to her. And I think that she is just, she is a force to be reckoned with. She is a unique personality in the Real Housewives universe. And I hope that she comes back next season full time because if anybody has a real chance of coming back in an upgrade, going from being downgraded to being a full-time cast member again with Alexia being the other exception, I think it is Luann. I will say two things about Luann just quickly. Yeah. Morocco and pirates. You can't fucking beat either of those. This isn't the Plaza Hotel. This is Morocco, one of my favorite quotes of all time. Of all time. Yeah, because no one gets to stick up their ass the way Luann does. And handles it as passive aggressively. Yes. And nothing was more delicious and awkward and upsetting than when she still had that microphone on and started babbling French into the telephone to her girlfriend when they were in St. Bart's after she had fucked the pirate that looked like Johnny Depp while she was still dating Jacques. When I think about it to this day, I die. Do you realize this genius that happened that we saw Luann embroiled in a sex scandal with a pirate? I mean, it does not get any better than that. She is, Luann is the best that she has to come back. But that being said. I will let you move on. I will let you move on. That being said. So last season I remember the first half we were sort of like, well, it's not quite working because all these girls were new. They didn't really know each other. And then the second half went bonkers. That was great. This is because Heather started fighting Ramona and I was living for it. This time around the dynamics are set, the show has gelled and it is great. And you know what? It's going on a trajectory that the best seasons go on, which is... Blond's versus brunettes. Well, there's that. It's also, I think, an age difference too. But I think if you were an age difference, are you trying to pretend that Skeletor Carol is actually in her 30s when she's really 97? Come on. She is old. And I realize that as soon as I said it. But you know what? She acts young. She does act young. She really does. She does. She's youthful. She's youthful. And Kristen is blonde. So there. But here's the thing. When you think back to like the best seasons of any real housewives, let's go to Beverly Hill season one, okay? You have this thing with Camille and Kyle, a beef, if you will. And it just keeps on going and building and escalating and it sort of morphs into one thing or another. Everyone gets dragged into it. And it doesn't feel like some of the beefs on Atlanta where it's just the same thing being you know, rehash over and over and over again. It's something like Rose. Right. Or with New Jersey where it will forever be Teresa versus Melissa. Yeah. It like, it grows, it blossoms, it's wonderful. And that's what's happening this season. You have Bookgate, which by the way, I love. I love Bookgate because I feel like it's a very real sort of argument. And it's about something real, you know, it's about like, you know, books. It's about is about career, it makes it extra juicy because it really is all that Carol has. Exactly. I mean, I do agree that Carol came on pretty harshly to a view. One of you essentially wrote a book, Carol probably could have just said, oh, that's great rather than say the ghost running thing. That being said, you know, you have, you have, so you have Bookgate, which is now then morphed into this Heather Aviva fight. And what we're seeing is a ever evolving, chaotic situation. And that's, that's great. That's what we want. Well, and lines are really being drawn in the sand here. I mean, we'll get there in a second or we'll get there right now when Heather and Aviva sat down to have a glass of wine to try and hash out their differences. They were trying and they were trying and they were trying. And then at a certain point, Heather goes, but I, at the end of the day, I really just don't fucking like you. Yeah. Heather has been great this season. I know you are all. She is the best. She is. I was an early believer on her of hers. And I don't want you to think though, see, this is what, here's my problem though, like I'm all team Heather all the time except for when she backs Carol a little too much because I was also when Carol came onto the show kind of worried because she was rude to my beloved Countess. Yeah. Countess did deserve it a little bit, but I do think that Carol thinks that she is hot shit and has, and she also has a super ass at the same time. And I don't, I love Heather to death, but I don't love Heather when she is supporting who I also think is just as much of a bitch as Aviva. I do not think she is quite a second. I don't think she's as crazy as Ramona Sonya or Aviva, but I think she's as much of a bitch as Aviva is. She is a bitch, but she's the sort of bitch that we like. I feel like she's like, don't be saying we and assuming that I'm involved with that. I'm saying we, I'm speaking of her for me. I like Carol. I think that she's funny. I think that she's smart. And so I think whenever she is acting like a bitch, I'm like down for it. She's built up enough good, enough capital that, you know, she can have her bitchy moments. Now Heather, the thing that I like about Heather is that she is letting her bitch, bitch colors fly. You know, I said this. But then, but don't you think that she is letting her bitch colors fly? But at the same time, she's also balancing that out with how sweet of a wife and mother she is, which I also feel is very authentic, which is rare for these women. I think that we're seeing a more real side of Heather. I think last season, I mentioned this, I think last week, last season, she was really smiley and fake for the first half. And she was smiling and fake. And I was like, I don't like this woman because she is fake and she's very passive aggressive and she's very mean. And she says pointed things and then she smiles and acts like everything's okay. And this season, she's not really doing that. She's very pointed now. And you just don't mess with her. And I think it's great. I love watching her attack of Viva. Their attempts to serve smooth things over was hilarious because it was doomed from the beginning. And what was funny to me, though, is like they're being just so vicious to each other, so mean. And then all of a sudden they're like, okay, well, what happened to the bridge? I was like, what? Yeah. But and two minutes before that, I don't know, like they are trying to smooth it all out. And then Aviva is like, oh, we'll stop defending Carol because clearly you're her lesbian lover. Oh, my God, yes, that was, that was just, you know, Aviva drives me nuts. Aviva drives me nuts too, but and Heather said it correctly when she was in the confessional. She was like, could she have been more childish? No. Every time Aviva's on screen, I cringe because it's like she is sort of like I cringe the way I cringe with Ramona, but I cringe in a different way. It's just, it's crazy and I don't understand why Ramona is so friendly to Aviva, except that I believe the producer said, guess what? You have to be friends with Aviva now. You have to be. I mean, and you know that Ramona and Aviva bring the crazy, but you also realize that the show cannot survive without either of them at this point. Oh, absolutely. I mean, I think that Aviva. Ben, let's talk about article. I just moved into a new house and it is really hard to find quality furniture that honestly I can afford without feeling terribly guilty. I found the most beautiful stuff on article. I got three bar stools for this bar I built and they are gorgeous. They're mid-century modern brown leather seats. Just beautiful. And not only are they great, but they brought them over and they put them together. It was white glove service from beginning to end. That was my experience with them too. I mean, the truth is that article believes in delightful design for every home and thanks to their online only model, they have some really delightful prices too. Their curated assortment of mid-century modern coastal, industrial, scandy and boho designs make furniture shopping simple. Articles team of designers are all about finding the perfect balance between style, quality and price. 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And I think it was reasonable for Heather to say, listen, too soon, don't come to my anniversary party. I think that was a reasonable thing, and Aviva should be like, yeah, we're gonna take it one step at a time. And said she just was like, oh my god, you know, like, I wasn't invited. I was surprised that Ramona and Sonya took a stance on that. That was very strange. Okay, so do you think that that was manufactured or like where do you really think that comes from? Because it is such an insult to, you can RSVP to a birthday party where 175 people are going and not show up and no one's gonna notice and no one's gonna care and it's not gonna be a big deal. If you were going to a person or a couple's 10 year wedding anniversary party and you RSVP and you know that that guest list is not so big, you can't do that. Right. And you know, the funny thing is that these women are, we're coming down on Heather saying like, this wasn't Heather's battle, but regarding bookage. This wasn't Heather's battle. This wasn't Heather's battle. Why is she getting involved? And what do these women do? They get involved. They are now there. It's not their battle either. And they are boycotting this part. Right. Ramona is the shitster of all shitsters. She can pretend that she wants to smooth things over and have everybody be friends. But at the end of the day, she is the shitster and she would, again, if one of them had done this to Sonya or Teremona, I think that Kristen would, is Kristen the new blonde one what's her name? Kristen. She was in the confessional and she was like, can you imagine if somebody had done this to Ramona? Absolutely. She would have gone crazy and I just think that at the end of the day, if you're invited to a party like that, you go. But Heather lucked out by not having them there because knowing Ramona and Sonya, they would have gotten a plastered Sonya would have ripped off her panties and jumped in a pool. And by pool, I mean, like any body of water that was bigger than like a cup of water because she is so sloppy drunk when she gets there. And you know, I wish they would have made they would have made fools of themselves. That makes for great TV. But Heather's party didn't need that craziness there from any three of them. They dodged a huge bullet and everything that was great. Now Kristen, her husband is an asshole, by the way, he really is an asshole. She's an asshole too. Oh, I love Kristen. Okay, Ben, you cannot love her when she cried after the mud run. My God, get it to you. No. I don't think you heard that episode. I was on her side with that with a crying and I'll tell you why just to rehash that a little bit. Did you cry because I wasn't there at boot camp today to hold your hand? I was I was crying because I was in such you guys don't even know you guys don't even know the state that I was in at boot camp. I mean, it was it was a disaster. You're gonna feel it more tomorrow? I was the worst one. They were all these like middle age, middle age of women doing just fine and I'm sitting there on the ground. I've got bloody knees now. It's awful. So here's why I understood Kristen's situation. She didn't really want to do it. You know, she was doing it to be nice for her husband. And she wasn't really enjoying it. She just it wasn't her thing. Sometimes you have to bite the bullet and go with the flow for your mate. Listen, that's that's what her husband should have done because I know that when you are in this thing, it's supposed to be a group and then everyone runs ahead and you're left you're left alone and you're also like exerting your you're like emotionally fragile, like you're frazzled. Everything's crazy. I understand that feeling. It's like fuck you like I don't want to do this and now I'm like so miserable and I've got to go through this and so and the thing is you're you're just stuck with your thoughts. So it's like you ever like drive somewhere and you have like a like a imaginary argument with someone in your head and by the time you get to wherever you are, you're so angry as if you've been fighting for like an hour. That's what was clearly happening to her. I I actually really understood it. Like I think I would have cried too. More importantly, will you do a mud run with me down at Camp Pendleton in the fall? Oh, that was seen on Real Housewives of Orange County. Yeah, I would have to go compete against them. I'm not even kidding you. No, I don't want to do I don't want to do a mud run. I'm sorry. Those are just really do not want to do that. So anyway, I like Kristen. You know what I don't know what I did not like? I did not like that Kristen and Carol were friends, Yolanda and Brandy. Okay, we got to talk about this. This was like the time in real world back to New York when the road rules cast came over shut a house and like was named Jazella or whatever and Malik were like hanging out and hooked up. And I was like the first time there was like this is crazy that I'm even I'm even referring to this. No, it's not. You're talking to the right audience because in my head, I'm like, that's when some producer was like, yes, we need to have the real world road rules challenge. No, the challenge already existed, but this is the first time that there were road rules people that appeared on a real world show. And I think is this like the first like major housewife crossover? I mean, I think they probably cross over a little bit here and there, but this is the first big. Pretty epic where they got Chiron and the, you know, it was a big to do. You know, you know, I'm not a big fan of Yolanda anymore these days, but especially I hate Brandy now. And I did not like the cool girls having being sullied by these Beverly Hills ladies. Yeah, the Beverly Hills cast. I don't know. This past season of Beverly Hills was just so frickin lame. I was just beyond upset and Brandy fell off a cliff, but the Facebook page is blowing up right now. We're demanding that we discuss Yolanda's obsession with white pants and how she clearly either has a closet full of white pants or only one pair, which she has to bleach on an hourly basis. Yeah. Well, she probably does like just tons of lemon juice from her grove. So we have this joke. I don't know where it came from, but the people that I bowl with yes, I bowl. I don't know where it came from, but somebody said that people that wear white pants love anal. So anytime I see Yolanda on TV, I chuckle to myself because I'm like, she loves anal. She's like, well, that is, you know, that is what you have to do. If you if you need to keep your man, you have to do it. That's just how you do it. So now if you don't, if you don't do anal with your man, someone else will I hope that I pass this on. So like whenever you're at the store now and you see like somebody wearing like white pants, you'll just chuckle to yourself and think, Oh my God, they love it. I have heard that, by the way. And I had a I have a friend who used to love busting out their white pants and we would tease him a lot about the the anal situation. And I don't think he ever wanted to admit it, but that should be like urban legends for I know that's, that's, you know, I would watch that. I would watch direct to Netflix. There you go. Let's see. So what else happened on this episode there was a caviar tasting with Heather's cute husband. If I've been married to somebody for 10 years, I don't know that I want a sack of larva handed to me as my gift. Guess what? If if I'm married to someone for 10 years, I would like that sack because I love me some caviar. I have never had caviar in my life. Well, that's because you're do you eat seafood? I do eat seafood, but I've never had caviar. Well, caviar is divine. I know that might maybe sound hoity, toity, but I'm sorry. That's the delicacy. And I love it. What does it taste like? Is it little sassy? Salty goo? I love salty. And creamy. What is it? Salty blood. Well, there's different types of caviar, but it always looks like like little black balls. And I'm like, do they explode in your mouth? Like pop it. Sort of. They do a little. Okay. If you were to get like salmon row, which is caviar, it's just like salmon road. That's like a cheaper kind. You get that sushi restaurant. Those eggs are larger. So when you bite into them, they really do like pop and fluid gush that. Okay, I'm vomiting right now. Can we talk about the spa? I love it. What? Gross, but aren't like the fancy kinds, like they're little teeny balls that you like wipe onto a crustini with a little butter knife? Absolutely. And you know, one time on the amazing race, there was a challenge where teams were given like a pound of caviar that they had to eat. That's like my dream. I would die. Like, do you know, like when you get caviar, you get like an ounce or something like that to be able to get like a full pound and to be going with like a spoon and eat it like soup? Like that's what I want. And I just too poor to ever be able to approach anything like that. Merry well and you'll be fine. Well, I'm working on it. So, all right. So there was that and I hope we don't leave anything out because I want to move on to Atlanta. Do you, is there anything? Just a second. We talk about the Heather fight. There was stuff in the beginning episode. I don't remember what to be in the episode. I also want to see, I want to see Kristen and her husband's marriage fall apart because it's clearly already starting to crack. And if she's going to secret therapy sessions and then telling the therapist, don't tell my husband I was here before and you have to pretend that I'm a stranger, that's fucked up. Yeah. Yeah. She just announced it on national TV, so she will have to deal with that. Oh, Avery is going away to college. Ramona's crying. Mario doesn't care because he's banging a stripper on the side. That's all I got. Yeah. That's the usual stuff. Okay. Why don't we move on to Atlanta? Okay. Okay. So, this is sort of like a funny, a fun little finale. It was centered mainly around Candy's musical, but it first started with the memorial service for Velvet, Gilly Departed, the poor dog, killed, murdered by a neighbor's dog. Okay. I have many things to say about this. I love dogs. I hate cats. It's very sad to me, especially to, you know, the thought of having to see your pet in that kind of state. Yeah. By all my, okay. Like I've set the stage. I, all of that is very upsetting. Yeah. Why on earth did stupid Cynthia Bailey bring her crazy fucking dog to another dog's memorial? Well, cause, well, if, if you had listened to the eulogy, you would have heard them talk about velvet and how like all of Velvet's friends. So clearly this is one of Velvet's friends. Velvet's friend looked like it wanted to burst out of Cynthia's arms and run away and then jump in front of a truck, tractor trailer because I want to know. I thought the whole thing was like, it was a borderline is like, I kept going back and forth between this is actually really sweet and this is also hilarious. They were in a gravel parking lot where the fuck were they? They were like, like I actually really do understand that like Kenya, like velvet meant a lot to Kenya. I do get that. And Kenya has a lot of walls and I actually get her sadness. But at certain point, she was just like bawling and she was like, why God, why like the equivalent of that? And it was so over the top that I couldn't help that laugh a little bit. I felt bad because it was a real thing. I mean, you were already going to hell. So you might as well have that person. What can I say? I, you know, I'm like, I'm, I'm, listen, I am, this is another reason why I could never date you. Listen, I, I enjoy the Oliver and company and more so than the all dogs go to heaven. Mr. Mustofles. What? Mr. Mustofles. Oh, memories of cats. I had a cat growing up as mentioned on last week's podcast where apparently we made people cry talking about dead pets. I would put it in a microwave because I hate them. I think you have microwaved. So I wish I were that thin someday we all will get there someday. So there was that. And then I would say the rest of the episode really focused on the candies musical, which I would love to see that I want to see it so badly. I'm sitting there watching and I'm like, do you think I could convince Ben and Ronnie to buy some tickets on Southwest so that we could go to Atlanta the next time she puts one of these on because I need to go. It looked, it first of all, it looked good. And it's like all the music. You are lying and or crazy. Well, you know what? I say it looked good mainly because the music sounded good and it sounded like I was I'm also just impressed that Candy wrote all those songs and they were not songs. They have two words and then they go. That's a song that Candy writes and or sings. I was enjoying it. I was on a plane and it was really providing a lot of entertainment for me. Now I will say I had a little more context going into this because last weekend a friend of mine asked me to watch one of Tyler Perry's stage productions because you know Medea is not just in the movies. Medea started on the stage and he watched the theater production of a Medea family Christmas. Oh, I only saw the movie. The most fucked up thing I have ever seen in my entire life. And now no lies. Totally obsessed. Want to see it all? I saw that movie. Medea and Candy are getting me back into theater. Who would have guessed? Can I say something? Well, Tyler Perry was there to see that show. I saw Medea family Christmas in the theaters and it was really a horrific experience. And what's even worse is every Tyler Perry movie that you see, they're going to be like hot black eyes to take off the shirt. Like that's just that's just part of the deal. And because it was a Christmas Christmas movie, the guys did not take off a shirt. I was like, come on now. That's like the one thing. The one thing I was looking forward to aside from the fact that Candy and Jimmy and Larry the Cable Guy and Lisa Welch and Thelma from Amen were in it. It was an all-star cast. Well, I'm just Thelma from Amen sold. Exactly. Thelma was a real bitch in the movie too by the way. Netflix queue. Here we go. Thelma, I believe that Thelma learned a valuable lesson from Chad Michael Murray, which is kind of amazing. There are too many white people in this movie. I know. And on top of that, I don't know if the sage production was like this, but the movie definitely had some anti-Semitic undertones, which I thought was like both awful and hilarious. You know, because they were like, they were like, it was basically like these corporate businessmen were coming into the small town and were trying to like, take away. Yes, were they from your homeland? Well, it wasn't explicitly said, but the whole thing is they want to take out mention of Christmas and Jesus is supposed to be happy holidays and everyone's like, but Christmas is for Jesus. And so you see like at the end, you know, like the these businessmen come to town and of course they've got like big, no, they look so Jewish. Like I saw it. I mean, it was just, they were just missing the yamakos. Is that it? I mean, they were missing like, they should have like been holding up a Torah or something like that. I mean, it was, and they have like like like a monocles, you know, it was like really. But they're star of David Necklaces where I was like under their shirts. Yeah, it was actually very anti-Semitic and I am not saying that to be sensitive. Like Kyle Richards, it just, you know, Michelle Collins and I, we saw it together and both like, hmm, but it's hilarious. So anyway, Candy had a show and Portia sang, sang well. I think so. She did. I'm going to give her mad props. I dare I say she's a little bit better than candy. No, candy's the best. And let's see Todd proved that he is a good worker because he went around and asked a lot of questions. Like, how's that work? How's that work? Here's a door. How's that open? And I'm like, okay. Mama Joyce is going to watch this back on tape and go. If Candy is petting him on the payroll to do that because that is nothing, she is wasting her money. Um, Mama Joyce actually looked pretty good this episode. I have to say why because of her wig or because she didn't fight anybody? Um, both. She had a good wig going on and I liked her a little outfit. And by the way, did you notice that her boyfriend was there? Yes, I did. Oh, my Joyce has a man. It's exciting. I kind of want to see Todd's mom fight mama Joyce. Is that wrong to want to watch two old ladies in a steel cage match? I'm sure we'll see plenty of it on the upcoming wedding spin off, which I can't even, I can't even with another, another wedding spin off. It makes me want to quote Kristin from Vanderpump Rules and say seriously, seriously, seriously dude. Seriously. Seriously. Well, what did you think? Did Nini really have an illness which Greg, Greg, Greg assumed that it was the farts. He's like, I'll show you what I have to do. Here gets an Alka Seltzer. Sorry. This is really. And she's just dying of embarrassment. I know that I remarried you, but can you put the gas jokes when the cameras are not here? I guarantee that Nini insisted that she have that one-on-one with Andy Cohen afterwards because she basically was not in the finale. She had a scene where she was hurting. And then there was that moment towards, everything was happy with this musical. And someone's like, oh yeah, Nini's in the hospital, and then they cut to a screenshot of Pres Hilton. And it's like, Nini Leats has blood clots of the lungs. And they're like, oh, anyway, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Well she demanded to have that moment with Andy Cohen on Watch What Happens, and it ended up being the highest rated episode of Watch What Happens Ever with over three and a half million viewers. That's insane. What? That's insane. Why do people care what she has to say about anything? I don't understand. I don't get it. But you know what? I think that if anything, this past season, taught Nini and probably the reunions will solidify this even more for her. Kenya is starting to snatch the weave and steal this show. And Nini is the highest paid, obviously. She's the OG from this cast. She, if she's going to continue to pass on all these scripts, and you know, if she's not going to get on the next Ryan Murphy show, can you imagine if she was on the next American horror story? I can. If she's not going to be doing that, she needs to up her game to all time levels for next season. Well, it's funny, for me, the way I could really tell that there has been like a change in the guard was that at the musical, as people were entering, you know, I see Cynthia come in and Phaedra, I'm like, oh, you know, whatever. And then like a little bit later, then Kenya walks in and I had this moment, right? Like instinctual, I was like, oh, shit, here we go. And it's like, oh, wow, like, I just had a moment where I just acknowledged that Kenya is the star, like, things don't get going until Kenya gets there. And I was like, wow, she has done it. And you know what? Like she has been smart this season because she's brought her crazy, but she's also brought a lot of her more human side, like she's like laughing a lot more like season one. Her first season, she was doing all these sorts of stunts, like the time she dressed up like Phaedra. And it just felt like she just wanted airtime. And this season, she's crazy, but she's shown enough of her real side, I feel like, that she's oddly enough becoming a little likable. I agree with you. I want to get your take on Cynthia right now, because as you know, I hate her and it looks like Nini starts chomping at her during the reunion, do you think that they might start to have a falling out which could then build into a story arc next season? Yeah, I think that they will have a falling out. I mean, obviously they will. I mean, Cynthia is like... But dare I say, Ben, do we still need Cynthia? No, we don't need Cynthia. You know, she didn't bother me as much this season. I still can't stand Peter. Peter is really, you know, dregs like of the earth. He's really terrible using up all her money. He is a bitch, just like Nini said it. Yes, I thought Cynthia trying to be like seductive was hilarious. First of all, she has to ask Mal or Mal for her help. And Mal is like the last person I'd want to go to for like romantic life. For the sexy. She's like, oh, okay. Hey, Cynthia, you know what you gotta do? You gotta let some candles. You know what is not sexy? You know what is not sexy? Cheap cigars that you, the skinny cheap cigars are like 7/11. Not sexy. Exactly. And you know what else is not sexy? Like lurching forward, like you're a lesbian softball player sitting in the dugout. Okay. So sexy clothes. Lurching forward like you're been shitting out his brains in a cracker barrel with the Pledge of Allegiance playing. Yeah, exactly. Because that's what she looked like. No offense to lesbians, but it was a very masculine pose. Or cracker barrel. Or cracker. No, I will say, I will say offense to cracker barrel, but she was sitting there. I'm like, she's like, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna try to say like Sharon's own. I'm like, have you seen Becca Bessick and saying Sharon's own to not sit with her legs forward and then like lean forward and put an elbow on there as if she's about to play craps. Okay. And it's like, you sit back and cross your legs and then you undo them like, yeah. She looked like she was shimming you up to the card table video for creep in her slinky PJs. You all know what I'm talking about. I'm bringing the ATL right now. Come on. You know, I heard today on the radio. I heard SWB week week at the knees. I also heard boys to men end of the road. I heard, um, I heard what's it called? You want to know the best song Jade, don't walk away. That's again. You know that one? Yeah, of course. But I didn't hear that. I also heard, um, I think the star point, object of desire, yo, my object, where you get to Jodice, like I was in middle school. I actually, Jodice was a little bit after my time. Oh, okay. You know what else I heard today? I heard the deal. I only think of you in two occasions. Isn't this crazy? I had all this great R&B today on the radio. Who listens to the radio? I do because I'm a man. You know why? Because I'm very grounded and therefore I listen to terrestrial radio. I like it. I like it. Um, so what else happened? Um, let's say Phaedra graduated from mortuary school and her kid is, you know, her kid is adorable. He is funny. He is actually funny. Um, I feel bad that he has two criminals as parents. I love that the reunion clearly didn't tape that long ago. Because of the brawl and Andy goes right at Apollo and asks him all about his shady business situations. Now, it's funny speaking of, of Andy, I'm going to pull up this quote here regarding that fight. I'm going to pull it up. It was sent to me by a very handsome gentleman and the quote that Andy said regarding this whole fight was he said, he said, excuse me, I'm getting the clumped and says, I, I just don't want it to happen again. I think it's gross. It's totally inappropriate. It's wrong. It's not entertaining. It's just bad. Well, seriously. What are we talking about? What are we talking about? No, Andy talking about the brawl at the reunion. So for him to say it's wrong. It's not entertaining. It's just bad. He's totally lying because a it is entertaining. It is bad, but don't, don't say it's not entertaining and then use it as the centerpiece of your teas for the show. If it's not entertaining, it shouldn't be in the promo. Own it. Queen. That should be the new shirt that they, they, they sell instead of mausole. Own it, queen. And I'm pointing right at Andy when I say that because I'm like, bitch, your bank account is full because everyone likes to watch women in their 40s pulling on each other's hair. So don't you think for a goddamn second that anything else is happening on that network that anybody cares about? Absolutely. Preach. Can you say absolutely properly? Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Not. So that's a good segue. I'm going to talk about merit to medicine for all of one minute because nothing happened on this episode. Nothing happened on episode two, but I am so fully invested in the show. The ratings are through the roof. It is clearly the perfect Sunday night replacement once Atlanta bids farewell in the next few weeks after probably nine reunion specials. Yeah. I love this show. I don't know who side I'm on just yet. Wow. I don't know how I feel. Well, I don't know how I feel about Toya. That is like, she's the one that's up in the air for me because I don't like it when she's coming for Simone. Of course. I don't like it when she's coming for Simone. Wait, you think you're thinking of some sort of a cazar? I have. Can you get a talk to that? That's isolation. Toya's an idiot. Toya's an idiot, but Mariah is downright evil. We're on the same page, though. I think that we all love Quad, Simone, and Jackie. Correct? Yeah. I mean, I like Jackie. She's a little bit of a, she's a little bit of nothing and she's getting a little bit too much screen time. If you ask me. I agree. Love Simone. I think the show needs its carry back. It does. It's really, it really needs carry back. And what a tease when they had her in that, the background of the first episode and they said, Toya, are they something like Toya's friend, Kari? And I'm like, the only reason Kari is not on the show this season is because Mariah is one of the producers of the show and she hates that bitch so much and she knows that Kari was going to destroy her yet again. Yeah. No, Kari should be back. Um, I mean, Dr. Heavenly is really annoying and she'll make a good villain, but she's no Kari. No Kari. Is there anything worse than fat people who get skinny that still defend fat people? Um, the Holocaust? Sorry, too much Tyler Perry on the brain. Again, listen, it's, it's, it's just getting into my brain. Uh, no, I think that I think I got you to clutch your pearls there for a second tonight. I might have spit all over my. You were like, you, you were, you were at a loss of words. I was. Well, it's true. I know it's moist. You asked if there was anything worse and I'll tell you one thing that was worse, the Holocaust. Okay. I, you know what? That is a valid answer. It is valid. It's true. It's true. Um, okay. So nothing really happened. Nothing happened. Except Quad is now trying to maybe make a line of doggy clothes. Yeah. That's sad. That's annoying. You know, I, I can't stand these women going to fashion. And you know what? Ronnie and I forgot to talk about it last week, but Nini is now trying to start up a fashion line. And hilarious because if they're the biggest critique, I'm sorry, the biggest, biggest critic, uh, she by Shirei was none other than Nini leaks. Exactly. And now she came out of that Nini meeting was, Oh, there's a polyester tarp, but it has a cold shoulder. Oh, Nini, we know you love a cold shoulder. It's the only thing that she likes. And of course, she loved it. By the way, speaking and chocolate cake, of course, you know, when, when Nini was bashing, uh, uh, she buy a Shirei back in the day, she famously had a conversation with her then gay, uh, Dwight. And she said, you know, and Dwight said, hi, I have a fashion show and no fashions. I mentioned this because Dwight has jumped ship over to marriage medicine now. And he is now sticking his little cryptkeeper face up in this new ladies. Who is this new woman? Is she a cast member? She's, um, well, she was there, um, in the very first episode as well at that party. Like Carrie was. She's not in the credits though, right? She's not in the credits, but she is making a play to be fully in the mix there. But they gave her like a whole, I mean, they gave her like a whole segment, like she. Well, part of me thinks she might be in the entire season and she might have pissed somebody off at the end. And they were like, okay, her storyline is there, but we're not going to put her in the opening credits. That's very possible. Maybe she doesn't get in the opening credits until next week or something. That. And that's also a possibility. We'll see. It's one of the many mysteries. One of the fascinating mysteries. It really is a fascinating mystery. Yeah. Um, all right. Let's, let's, I want to touch on Southern charm for a second. Oh, no, it's, I'm giving you an anti, uh, I love this show, but I have to tell people once again, I haven't seen it because again, I have my traveling, I had Passover. So there's an, I, I can't speak about it this week. I know people want to talk about it, but next week is the season finale. I promise to catch up on my Southern charm so we can talk about T rev and all the people, JD and Cameron from real world San Diego. Emma. What? Do you watch, do you watch Southern charm? I watched one episode. It was terrible. But who from San Diego real world Cameron, the girl? No, that's her. She's on Southern charm, but she's good on. She's, you know, I loved her on San Diego and I loved her in Charleston. Wow. Now that is just too much for my brain to handle. I will say though, that you are wasting your time if you're watching Southern charm and not watching flipping out. That's exactly what I'm doing. I'm not watching flipping out and I'm watching Southern charm, but Southern charm has bad ratings. Correct. Southern charms ratings, um, are actually halfway decent. It has a good shot at coming back. I think it has about like a 1.1 or 1.2 right around the Shaw's level and Shaw's got real. So I will say it's looking, it's looking positive for them. I will. They're really chatting about it on our page there. And again, Facebook, Facebook.com forward slash watch where crappins people. When we say, what do you want to talk about? Everyone wants to talk about Southern charm. And so I feel terrible that I don't have any mistakes that I love the mom. And I think that Whitney is like a wannabe hipster. And that, but wait, what's your, yes, Whitney is a wannabe hipster, but what is your take on her? Whitney is a man. But I'll call her her. I'll, I'll do she bonics with her. Okay. She thinks she a hipster, but she not, she a conservative man. She a he, she a he, um, she, uh, let me tell you that Whitney, let me tell you. She wants to start a Mexican restaurant in Charleston. Um, I mean, it's hard for me to, to opine too greatly, considering I've missed three episodes. I really feel like it's going to be highly racist. There can be nothing racist about her because she's white and lives in her mom's house and her mom is a gay icon. I mean, I, I mean, there's part of me that thinks that Whitney might be gay, but that's really not for us to say. No. Even, even though I just did what Whitney, I just did the classic stuff, but that's not for me to say. Right. Even though I just said, even though I just said it. Yeah. Um, I love the show. Um, by the way, was Lindsay Lohan on watch what happens? Do you know about this? Did you not see what she said to Andy Cohen? I'm telling you, I've been like semi off the grid for the past few days. I was in Westchester, New York, uh, doing past eating matzah, like I'm just now catching up to speed. Tell me. Okay. I'm just going to tell you the tagline her housewives tagline because it was TV fucking gold. Are you ready? Yeah. I'm done with mug shots. It's time for an Oscar to, I say that all the time every, every time, every time I take a selfie, I say, I'm done with Instagram. It's time for an Oscar. I can't, I don't even know. I don't, I have nothing after working in the entertainment industry and like being there for her whole roller coaster, which I am still on. I have nothing left to say about Lindsay Lohan. The only things I have to say are Oprah is the devil for putting that TV show on own. Is she the devil though? Yes, she is. She's a horrible person. And she wants to pretend that she is trying to help this poor fucked up, you know, freckle faced disaster. And in fact, it's just, it's nothing but a ratings ploy. So own up to it. Oprah, own up to it. Oprah Winfrey Network. Pun intended. Pun intended. Own. Okay. I know we need to wrap this up, but I have to leave on one note here and it is the biggest travesty of them all really is that the best new show on television right now, which dare I say is up there in the realms of gal girls and below deck. I know brace yourself, people brace yourself. It's not on Bravo. It's on a sister network, the USA network, and the show I'm referring to is Chris Lino's best. Okay. Okay. So here's the thing. I haven't seen it, but I actually just read on reality blurred that he's like, you know, it's actually really good. I went to the Chris Lino's best like, like fresh, junket thing oddly enough at the Sunset Tower Hotel about a month and a half ago. Yes. And I was like, first of all, this is a gay man once again, but it's not for me to say. And I was like, this just is like garbage. This is the exact sort of reality show that I hate, like a family and everything that I did. Ben, I am telling you. Why is it so good? Everybody at work was talking about it. And then I think I saw a few people on the Facebook, the watch will crap in this Facebook page mention it. And I was like, okay, if they're talking about it, I'm going to trust them. These are my peeps. Here we go. So just a few nights ago, I sat down and I watched the premiere. And guess what? Today, I recorded the rest of them on my DVR because the season I think is ending next week. It is trash to the trash extreme. Amazing. I don't know. They were so awful. Like at that party, I just didn't know. Ben, I'm telling you, you just treat yourself, treat yourself like a red on parks and records say, treat yourself. All right. I will, I will try, but it's a little off brand for me to go to USA. It is not off brand because I'm watching it and it's actually the producers behind the real behind, I think the married to medicine and maybe real housewives of Atlanta. It's the same production company and it's also shot in Atlanta. But apparently Bravo only likes black people from Atlanta. Oh, wait, Southern charm. Where's Southern charm? Is that South Carolina? Yeah, but those are all white people. Those are all white people. Yeah, that's a travesty too. Anyway, it belongs on Bravo. It should be paired with either Southern charm or, I don't know, it doesn't, it can be paired with it. It's be paired with it. It is amazing. I guarantee you that the reruns will air on Bravo because USA is all part of NBC Universal. It's going to happen. Yeah. It seems like a strange show to be on USA to be honest. Yes. All right. So I will try to check it out, but I personally got to catch up on my Southern charm and I've got to catch up on my survivor from last night. There's so much to watch. There was a twist. Okay. I'm excited. So I will do that later tonight. So let's wrap this up so that way you can play your tennis tomorrow on full night of sleep. Thank you so much for coming on Matt. Matt is at life on the M list. I'm at beside blog. This podcast can be found facebook.com forward slash watch our crappins. Oh, and go check out Ronnie's website trash talk TV.com because the poor guy does this whole website all by himself for the most part and survivor in two minutes is hilarious. Yeah. So, because he needs the clicks and click on some ads and leave a leave a review for this podcast while you're at it. I think that's pretty much it and go to go daddy and say like crappins 295 when you check out and get a domain for like $3, which is actually a totally insane deal like crazy. So you actually should do that. So Matt, thank you so much for coming on. Good luck on your tournament tomorrow. Thank you. I'll be wearing. White pants. And you should carry your tennis racket and aggression Christine Butte clutch of some sort. I will definitely do that. And I will keep you posted. Thank you for having me. Thank you all that are listening right now and posting on the Facebook page. It's always tons of fun and I could not have not been. I couldn't have. How do I say that properly? I couldn't have not been part of the OC premiere. Thank you for having me. Absolutely. I'm going to go start myself with some Epsom salts. Bye everyone. Bye guys. If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the internet. The folks behind the sideshow network of launch the new YouTube channel called wait for it. It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza Schleischinger, slicing, driving friends with it for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there and I still have a hard time with the last name Liza. You know, no one Benjamin, that's me, takes you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes and much more. You don't have to wait any longer. Just go to youtube.com/waitforaccomedy. There's no need to wait for it anymore because it's here and it's funny and I love you. 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