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Don't let someone steal your great idea, register a domain name now and put your idea online. GoDaddy is offering one new or transfer.com for the low price of 295, whether you're building your dream business or starting a website for fun. Visit GoDaddy.com and enter WWC295 at checkout. It's GoTime. Some limitations apply to website for details. Again, the code is WWC295, get it because it's like watch what Crapins 295, because it's $2.95 for whatever you're going to buy. Well, it has to be a new.com or transfer. Oh, I just got that. I'm glad you explained it. So original, why don't you just start a website about how original that deal is? So everyone, goDaddy.com, WWC295, and you get a new or transfer.com for the low price of 295. What a wonderful Mardi Gras. [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] Hey, everyone. Welcome to WatchWet Crapins, the podcast about all the crap we'd love to talk about on Bravo. I'm Ronnie Carrom from Trash Talk TV, and I'm here with Ben Mandelker of B-Side Blog. Hello, Ben. Hi. I want everyone to know that because it's Mardi Gras today, I am actually topless. So wait, today's the day that we binge, and then tomorrow's the day that we go on a diet? Well, I mean, I'm not Catholic, so I can binge and diet whenever I want to. Well, I'm so annoyed because I was at some gay bar on Saturday, and it was Mardi Gras, and they were wearing glitter thongs, I guess that was the only difference. But everybody was like, "Oh, it's Mardi Gras, Mardi Gras!" And so I totally binge drink, and then I got a pizza after, and donuts and stuff. And then, I don't know, I just bingeed like crazy. And then that wasn't even Mardi Gras, so I have to do it all over again. No, Mardi Gras in French means Fat Tuesday. So Mardi Gras, well, apparently the day is leading up to Fat Tuesday, or all Mardi Gras, but today is like the most Mardi Gras-yest day of all the Mardi Gras. Hence it's Tuesday, it's Fat Tuesday, and then tomorrow is Lent. Or actually, tomorrow, technically, is actually Ash Wednesday, so you'll see a bunch of Catholic people with smudges on there, forehead. Or we'd like to call them in the Middle East targets. Just kidding, guys. So just to get this stuff out of the way, you can find me, Ronny Karam, @ Ronny Karam on Twitter, or my site @trashtweepTV on Twitter for updates on recaps. I'm also on Instagram with trashtalkTV at Instagram.com/trashtalkTV. You can find Ben @allsocialmedia outlets, including Twitter, Vine, Facebook, Instagram, Jcrew, Reza's fan site, @bsideblog, and you can find us on Facebook @facebook.com/watchletcrapins. We are on there right now reading your comments as we record. Every week, we post a little "what do you want to talk about" thing and talk crap with you guys while we do in the show. So come on over. You can also follow us on Twitter @wetcrapins, and we're not on that one as much, but we still answer and like to get your tweets and stuff. So come over there if you like it. Okay, now let's get on with the show. I hate all this beginning crap. I know. So I think the first big announcement is that as we've been speaking, I have downloaded the Jax Taylor fitness app for my iPhone, and it's a free app. It's 23 megabytes, which is rather large for an app. I felt inspired to get this app because I felt bad. I went to his Facebook page for the app, and there's only 50 likes. And that's just sad for such a superstar, such a luminary in the fitness industry. You know, it's really funny is if it came out today, it would be one thing, but someone posted this on our Facebook like last week, and he had 37 likes. Yeah. I mean, that's not, you know, that's not very good. He also has something on the most recent post or the one that's been pinned. It says, "A night in the life of Jax Taylor contests. Ever wonder what it's like to hang out with Jax? Now you can find out." Oh, God. Are you guys excited? You don't even know what it's like. It's an itch and burn. Yeah. No kidding. No kidding. What's it like to wake up with oozing sores after just sharing an appetizer with somebody? Because you know that shit crawls across the plate. You guys want to hear the details? Okay. Number one, runtime is from Friday to Sunday, whatever Friday and Sunday they, those may be. That's when the contest will be. Okay. Number two, here's the contest. Enter to win a night in the life of Jax Taylor and see why you really do need to train so hard to be him. Clear tables, empty glasses, wash, wash and then rinse. Put random liqueurs in a glass and call it a gossapolitan, crush up some cucumbers and call it an infused martini. Let's go out all over somebody. Breathe your bad breath onto a righteous who's 20 years younger than you. Wait, there is a little bit of a disclaimer here. It's a comedic disclaimer. Please note that Jax Taylor and all parties involved with a Jax Taylor fitness app will not be held responsible for extremely bad hangovers, waking up to, waking up next to random girls or guys, damaging her by wild punches, missing Jax and hitting you. Bad mug shots. We don't recommend letting Jax drive. Something dumps by our significant other or any other crazy debauchery you might stumble upon. Aw, God. You know, that's like, that's really cute, but you're like 40. So maybe real within a little? I know. It just seems like one of those like sad, you know, it's just sad. Yeah, but no one, that is pretty sad. That is pretty sad. Now if they made an app that's like, I think if Jax had an app, it should be something like an audiobook reader, like you could put, let's say I got a book off of Amazon or something. I could enter it. And then the voice of Jax reads it to me because it would just be fun. It would just be fun to listen to him stutter. It would be like a white noise machine that you can go to bed. No. If you peek inside his brain, just a lot of white noise. Yeah. I actually have a dilemma, by the way, with this app, because I have now launched it and the very first thing I have to do is sign up with either giving an email and a password or sign in with Facebook or Twitter. And for some reason, I just don't trust this app at all. Don't do not give it your email. You would get a virus. I think I will. I will truly, it's actually, I won't get a computer virus. I think I will actually be emailed a, no, your computer will get a virus, but it'll actually be like warts. Yeah. I was gonna say, I'm actually going to receive an enclosure and I'm going to open it up and somehow it will, it will come out of the computer. Yeah. Your keyboard is just going to have warts all over it and so on. I'll stay away from that one. So I think I'm not going to go any farther than the home screen. And I think I'm going to delete Jax fitness. Jax, Eli fitness right now. Hi, Jax. So I think that this will now always be in my iTunes cloud. Oh well. I'd rather be fat and clean. Okay. I'd rather just be fat, dirty and have dignity than be fat, disease, thin disease and no dignity. Yeah. Okay. So the next thing is Joe, Jew dice and Teresa Jew dice went to court today to plead guilty because basically they were fucked. Yeah. So that was their only option or to fight it, which they can't do. And obviously they can't afford either. So they both pled guilty. Joe faces like five years and Teresa faces too, which you know, is pretty amazing that that's all they face considering they're facing 40 something counts. I know. Well, she'll probably only go away for like a week or she'll have like home, home jail, whatever they call it, home prison. I can't, I can't, my brain is like you are sentenced to stay in a used home for the next five years. They're going to have to like pawn the giant like door knobs. They have in that massive door, but I think she'll probably make up all right. And then he will be gone for a little while and, but you know, it'll be great. He'll get raped, which is, I think something he's been secretly wanting to be honest. Yeah. There's always rumors that he's stopping at porn shops to get blow jobs from dudes in Jersey. So, you know, now he doesn't have to hide as much. Yeah. I could see him totally wanting. I dropped the soap. Who cares? So what? Yeah, you ever do that thing? Like, you know, when you're a little kid, you know, you guys show each other your penises and you know, you like suck each other off, you know, you know, do that. We're just married in jail. It doesn't matter outside the year. Who cares? So what? Yeah. It doesn't make me a fag. He's probably a power bottom. Let's be honest. Yeah, I would imagine that he can probably take it. I mean, he's with Teresa. I just imagine the scene from Deliverance and I imagine that would judge you guys. Actually Ned Beatty would be like 10 times hotter. That's going to be a new T-shirt and we're going to sell that on one of the websites that you guys buy with our GoDaddy code. Ned Beatty would be 10 times hotter. Oh God. Okay. I'm looking at, yeah, everybody is just talking about jail, jail, jail, jail, jail, jail, jail. Okay. So let's move on to some other gossip. You guys have been posting really fun stuff and obviously nothing happened on Bravo this week, which is why we're talking about a bunch of BS. It's like the mailbag episode. Yeah. Hey, good. Guys. It's cool. Yeah. Well, good. Okay. So blind item number 11 from Crazy Days and Nights.net. This current real housewife in a city that might not get another season is divorcing her husband. Well, he is divorcing her. Anyway, that is not the point since they haven't announced the divorce. The point of all this is that she has been seen over at one of her old customers home. He was a very big customer. He met a second wife at the same place. He is an actor. Gee. What do you think that could be? This is a terrible blind item. It's not blind at all. Crippa. Yeah. It's a goby. So she's already going to get divorced from her gay husband. Come on guys. I think I just saw a picture of the two of them and Romaine lettuce is looking really hot these days. Well, yeah. It's about time to come out of the closet and go find a boy. Get rid of her. Yeah. Well, she's supposedly rumored to be coming to Beverly Hills, which had, I mean, that shows hit rock bottom until she comes on it and then it's really below. Just when you think you can't go any lower, do you think they'll really do that? Bring her on. Gosh, I don't know. I feel like she would definitely tangle with Brandy, but the problem with Joanna Crippa is that she's too hyper aware of her persona and so she's no longer fun. I mean, she was never fun, but at least you could rely on her for yelling and screaming and getting drunk. She didn't do that this past season. So now she's honestly, she's useless to the world. Yeah. Well, she becomes an alcoholic again. We want nothing to do with her. We do not need anybody's sobriety on Bravo, okay? And you know who I'm talking about. Uh-huh. So before we even get there, while we start in, do we have any more gossip? Did you want to talk about anything? Oh, this one's good. Tamball's Barney was on, this is a reality tee. Bill Housewives of Orange County's Tamara Barney insults a Facebook follower who called her gross, because Tamara posted some picture in her dirty ass bedroom, which crap all over it, of her and a bikini and she's got like Kyle back fat hanging out of the back of the bikini. Otherwise, pretty good job, lady. Nice, nice work. She's a good time into confidence. Yeah. Well, no, she is. She is. It's just all lower body. I don't think I don't think anybody's taught her pull-ups yet, but she's someone said you're gross. Well, they could have meant this disgusting room she's in, because it's obviously like, don't you have a maid? Aren't you supposed to be rich? You own a gem. So someone wrote gross. So Tamara went to this person's page and she know who's a chunky girl and took her picture and posted it on her Facebook and said, "This beautiful person wrote me a message under my bikini picture saying you look gross. I thought about deleting her until I looked at her face and I felt sorry for her. Give her some love," and then she posted this woman's name and linked to her Facebook page. Look classy. Keep it classy, Tamara. These are two people who need to do a lot more things with their lives. Yeah, both of you. Both of you get out. These are people that need to, I don't know, maybe like take a walk outside. And I know that people who live in glasshouses shouldn't throw stones, but you know what though, I don't care. I don't care if I break the glass because these two people especially are, this is just, this is sad to have gossip that it is. Bravo's really kind of letting us down. It gets under our podcast. Yeah. Bravo's letting us down. Well, let's move on to the housewives while we're talking about Bravo letting us down because the real housewives of Beverly Hills, I mean, come on with this. We not only have to watch Kimberly go off to college. We have to watch Gigi. I mean, it is so stupid. I don't care about your stupid kids and their stupid college, all right? Get drunk and fight with each other. Yeah, this was a real, real dreadful episode. I mean, I think they were trying to thematically make it show about parents and daughters, mothers and daughters because every storyline except for Lisa's had to do with parenting in some form. Yeah. And they're really showcasing great mother all boring parents. And I've said it every week, how many times we have to watch these kids go off to college? I guarantee that next week on the season finale, there's going to be 20 minutes dedicated to phone calls for the girls. And I think they may actually go retrieve the girls out of their dorm slash apartments, drive them away somewhere and then drive them back to the college so that they can cry all over again. Well, I just love that they're showcasing great motherhood. You've got Kim who, I mean, obvious, I won't go there. And then you've got Yolanda Foster, who is making her daughter go topless in magazines to make some money and not go to college for a year so she can make a real living disgusting gross. And I really don't like that she put Gigi up in that beautiful apartment, obviously paid for by Muhammad. And she's like, well, I want her to have more of a like a working experience. I want her to be like, you know, it's like a Korea, it's Korea based. Like lady, she's going to college, like one of the most important aspects of college is the social experience. And you know, like by putting her in an apartment, I'm sure it won't really be too detrimental to her, but like let her be in a dorm room, that's that's fun and it's like important. And don't talk about like how you like to keep your kids grounded. And then you lodge your the freshman, you know, in some palace up in the sky, you know. Yeah, that was bigger than Freya's apartment that we saw in season one and that was huge. And by the way, I think most people who've gone to NYU can attest that like going to NYU is very like you are very immersed in like the in the New York City nests of it all. Like you are immersed in the career elements. A lot of people who are students at NYU from my understanding are also hold down jobs throughout the city in various different industries. It's not like where I went to school, I was in rural New Hampshire, you know, and that was more of a classically collegiate experience where there's like a green and there's like a football team and all that stuff. Yes, you are isolated and you're like college, college, college, rah, rah, rah, rah, but like NYU is is more of like a like a I think like the campus culture is more of like a bridge to being an adult, you know. Well, I love that you know, I don't want her to live in the dorms and live a party lifestyle bitch, your daughter is going to have a gigantic home that she doesn't have to pay for. She's going to have the best coke and booze in the city because she's wealthy. She is going to be the party house. Sorry, that girl's going to get banged gangbanged from the front door in the back door. She will she will be having so many parties there. She'll have all the various socialites and models up there. It's going to be out of control. I wish that there was a handbook that I could write to say all the things I want you to do. How caused her tax to Dr. Boo there. I said it now. Thank God. I remembered. Good luck. Don't judge a book by his leathery cover, open it up, see how much money is inside and if there's more than a hundred, fuck it. Move your way up from there. I guarantee the first things to get destroyed in that apartment will all be all those stupid paintings. Oh, yeah. I'm sure. Yeah. I'm sure she wants the Joyce Girard, like, gay Puerto Rico painting, like hanging in her kitchen. That'd be good. Well, I'm sure someone's going to come in and be like, yo, what's the deal with all these stupid paintings? And you'd be like, oh, I don't know. And then like, throw them out. It's like, it's like the girl who brings like her teddy bear to college and then realizes how uncool it is. And tosses it immediately. Yeah. And my frat boys poke a hole in it and start sticking their weiners in there when they're drunk just to be funny. Yeah, exactly. So yeah, I really, I feel like if you're going to go to college, go to college, you know, like live in the dorm, that girl can't even eat a piece of cake, no pun intended. Well that, that shit's all boring. So what I did was I went to the Bravo blogs, which is my new obsession and read these terrible, terrible blogs. But first of all, Kim Richards, okay. I know that she never got to go to school, but one thing she learned, exclamation points. The ride down was fun. There were moments where John and I just looked at each other with pride and sadness that our girl was leaving us. She fell asleep. All I could do was stare at her, flashbacks. She always brought me joy, oh, blah, blah, exclamation point, exclamation point. She's a butterfly. I love turtles. Wizards. Oh my God, what are you fucking five years old, but then the best thing is just scrolling down and you don't even have to like look for good comments in here. All you have to do is start at the top. Kim, you are very sad to watch. I think you should take care of yourself and do us all a favor and leave the show. Please. Wow, you said you were sorry in your blog, but in the TV interview, you were glad they were gone. You should be ashamed of yourself and how old are you again deplorable behavior? And then from LMC Jax, why are you on this show? You bring nothing to it. God. On the fact that yes, you missed out on a lot of events due to your drinking. Don't get upset when it's being brought back up or you want to call someone out for not attending your daughter's graduation party. Bravo, do away with Kim next year, please. And then it's like 200 comments or actually this week, it's only 50. No one's even paying attention, Eric. Yeah, it was a dull, a dull week. I mean, I, what I thought was crazy is that she's had other kids go up to college, correct? Like this is not her first child going to college. Well, it's the first one that she can remember. So you think she would have a good idea of like how to pack your kid to go to college and they were laughing. I don't think she was packing before. I think this is the first time that she's actually been present. Oh, that's true. I mean, probably like her imagination of what like the dorms looked like when she visited her other kids, they were just like sprawling candy lands, you know, it was like with like candy canes coming out of the walls and gumdrops as pillows or something like that. They'd leave in September and then in December when they'd come back from Christmas, she'd be like, Hey, did you get me anything from the story took forever? Yeah, I thought you got lost in that store. Is it called college? It's so funny that like the store is called college because I thought you were going to go to college, but you just went to the store for three months, like no, no concept of time. But like they, but they brought so much stuff. I mean, they loaded up a flatbed and of a pickup truck. Listen, when I went to college, this is by the way, this podcast is going to be like Ben's stories of college because I have a few things to say once we get to Southern Trump. But when I went to college, it was like, what did I have? I think I had a computer. I think I had some computer clothing and some like office supplies and like maybe some sheets. And my dorm room was tiny. My dorm was like the same size as Kimberly's. And I didn't have to have a bunk bed, but it was. But what about your dust buster? How did you brush your hair if you only had a straight brush? What about the curl brush? Hey, didn't you need something to do your eyelashes? What about your eyebrows? Hey, did you bring poles to make a tick? Because what if you want to make a tick in your room and make some s'mores? That's what you do when you're young. Yeah, she wanted that. She wanted that like and really to put up like a like a cloth barriers that way her roommates wouldn't see her. Oh my God. You don't want the paparazzi trying to take your picture when you're sleeping. And I was sleeping with that kid from different strokes. I couldn't get a minute alone, Kimberly. Stupid Kim. But I do love when Kim has a breakdown because I can't even tell if it's real. I can't tell if it's like pill-induced, but I love how she cries because she's like, I see Kim going out. What the hell was that happening? Well, then she just turns into a whisper. Then she becomes like a crazy, like a paleo-jill osmothed whisper. She's like, it still hurts, it still hurts for an away, it hurts. Meanwhile, I still would like to remind everyone that her ex is super hot. Oh, yeah. Super hot. Yeah. Way out of the Mauricio. I'd also like to add. Mauricio was hot, I think, because he was the first house husband who could take off his shirt. Yeah. I mean, really, I think of all of the husbands and all of the history of the house. I had like a deep booming voice and I think he was the first one who could actually take off his shirt and the camera would stay on him and not like run from the room screaming. And so everyone was like, he's hot. But then, you know, you get to know someone, and suddenly he's John Leguizamo, and he's a coke. Well, he's also gained some weight, and I mean, I hate to be caddy like that, but he's gained enough weight that he's lost some of the hotness. Sort of like the way Jax. Jax has gained some weight too, and it really goes a long way to take away from your hotness. I think it just takes away from the hotness when they get involved with the women business. It's just so gross. I thought that was my friend. Those are my friends, and they totally betrayed me. So I get up the shut up. You're going to whine about being betrayed, shut the fuck up, you know. You felt betrayed because they didn't list their house with you, SARS, that's been brewing for a long time. Meanwhile, we had the return of Taylor Armstrong this week. Did you notice that? Taylor came back for... Of course. Any scene involving pain, in this case, it was the kids getting their ears pierced, and they were in excruciating pain. So of course, you've got to bring clown face and to smile at it all. She's got to distract them from the pain. She's got to provide a deeper, greater threat to them, so that way they don't realize that there's a gun in their ears. Yeah, I know. It's like just to alleviate this pain a little bit, Mommy's going to put your face really close up to her right next to Taylor's. It's creeping so much you can't feel it. It's like being shoved into a fun house. Yeah. It's like being pushed in front of a train so you don't feel somebody pinch you. That's more or less what was going on there. Pretty much. I had to see a shot of Kennedy with all of her limbs and, you know, no black eyes. She hasn't been left in a mall or something. Which made me happy. Yeah. And I actually thought that scene, believe it or not, I actually thought that scene was like very entertaining. I thought it was hilarious that Portia was like fine at first, like totally, yeah, like oh, like no big deal and then all of a sudden she was a wreck. Ben let's talk about article. I just moved into a new house and it is really hard to find quality furniture that, honestly, I can afford without feeling terribly guilty. I found the most beautiful stuff on article. I got three bar stools for this bar I built and they are gorgeous. They're mid-century modern brown leather seats. Just beautiful. And not only are they great, but they brought them over and they put them together. It was white glove service from beginning to that. That was my experience with them too. I mean, the truth is that article believes in delightful design for every home. And thanks to their online only model, they have some really delightful prices too. Their curated assortment of mid-century modern, coastal, industrial, scandy and boho designs make furniture shopping simple. Articles team of designers are all about finding the perfect balance between style, quality and price and they're dedicated to thoughtful craftsmanship that stands the test of time and looks good doing it. Article offers fast affordable shipping across the US and Canada plus they won't leave you waiting around. You pick the delivery time and they'll send you updates every step of the way. This is very true. An article's knowledgeable customer care team is there when you need them to make sure your experience is smooth and stress free. Article is offering our listeners $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. To claim, visit article.com/crapins and the discount will be automatically applied at checkout. That's article.com/crapins for $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. This episode is sponsored by DoorDash. We're back to tell you more about the latest dash pass annual plan benefit. Doing max with ads included at no extra cost. You know what's a great night for us? Ordering DoorDash and cuddling up to watch the max original hacks. Which won best comedy deservedly so and we'd love tuning in to see not only icon Gene Smart but the wonderful and incomparable Rose Abdu who also is a huge Bravo fan. Listen, I'm always in the mood for hacks but you never know what kind of food I'm in the mood for. Sometimes it's pizza, sometimes it's a salad and I can get both with DoorDash. Tap out some ice cream, that's what I like to eat with my hacks. 100% I will double dash, I will get a salad and then double dash some ice cream, why not? Sign up for a dash pass annual plan and get max included at no extra cost. It's your door to more. Max has now included with your dash pass annual plan. Stream max with ads up to $120 value included at no extra cost. News apply to door dash dot com slash max for details. Sorry if I'm receiving text messages from your mom. But yeah, that scene with Borussia was so damn cute. I love Borussia, she can do no wrong until she hits like a double page and then she'll be awful just like her mother because that's how it works. I'm awful just like my mother. I'm awful in the exact same way as my mother is awful. It's just how it is, it's a circle of life. Oh gosh. So something about this show that we're just not talking about is the end of all this Lisa drama. So Lisa just jetted. She was like bye and in the blogs we find out that she didn't even leave town. She just went to another hotel to enjoy the rest of her vacation, which is kind of hilarious. Which by the way, I think she was totally within her right to do. I think that like if you're dealing with that bullshit from people, I'm like yes, see you later. Totally. But everybody of course, Yolanda is like wow, what kind of friend leaves in the middle of the night without telling you? Everybody's all victimized because she walked away and Kyle just looks so depressed because this is her last attempt at the storyline. I mean really days of our lives, no, her husband, no one even cares that her husband's sleeping with trannies. They're like stop bringing it up. Who cares? Like she's the only one still talking about it. In her Bravo blog today, or last night she says, Kyle, why did Lisa tell Brandi I love you? That's the headline. Kyle can't understand why if Brandi was lying that Lisa wouldn't have stayed to defend herself and spoken up against her, shut the fuck up and it's two pages of her like well, she's telling the truth and why did she walk away and then why does she tell Brandi I love you? And then that, and then you know why because when you tell the truth, sometimes if you say I didn't do it, I didn't do it, this is ridiculous, stop it and then you keep coming back at them over and over again, you say, you know what, I'm going to remove, remove myself from the situation. How many times have we seen stupid Bravo people? Probably including Brandi, like, you know, take the quote unquote, high road when there's a some sort of issue. They're like, I decided I would take the high road and I just like remove my self in the situation. So I think it's funny how sometimes these women are so hypocritical in that that sometimes they're all about like, well, why not have the conversation? Other times they're all about like, well, I just want to stay out of the fray. Like, which one is it going to be? Which is the acceptable way to deal with things? Obviously, you're lying the wand at the confrontation. Yeah, she needed it. You gotta kind of feel bad for them because they really tried to build this all season long. I mean, we saw it at the very beginning of the season, we saw them just trying to build this huge storyline and Lisa just would not play along and it totally sputtered and backfired in their face. But it didn't even backfire in a fun way. It just totally petered out. I mean, so Lisa leaves and they're all just sitting there, they go, well, let us promise not to talk about it anymore. And then they literally sat there in silence and stared at each other because they have nothing else to say else to discuss. And then they ran around talent. Hey, let's go to the water fountain. It's against the law. Did you know that if you get to hear her content is tax deductible if you are marginal? She's like, that's all I have to talk about. Yeah, I was pretty stupid that whole episode is pretty bad. And next week, we have a big fake party at the Big Fake Chamber of Fake Commerce. Yeah. That's why I loved also. So when Lisa was talking to Carlton and Carlton's like, well, are you going to come to the Chamber of Commerce party? And Lisa's like, no, I don't think so. She's like, but it's the Chamber of Commerce. I think this were like really just a shade below the Oscars. You're the owner of a thriving business that has commerce involved where people put money and commerce back and forth between each other. You love chambers and you love commerce. How could you not come to the chambers of commerce party? Diane Chambers was your favorite character on chairs. How could you not come? Carlton's funny accent. I want to know where Carlton is really from. I have a feeling it's like Jersey. Probably. She's like some strip of Jersey wanted to get fancy. Joe Gorgas tanning salon by accident, which is how she got that. She got that hide. So are we done with Beverly Hills? Please, it's like I can't remember that. I'm sorry listeners. I'm sorry. Yeah. It's not our fault. Blame Bravo, write them letters. Or you can go on their blog and say things like this to like crap. It's almost not fair. You can go into Bravo and say things like this to Yolanda like Terry from Atlanta did. And who is Yolanda Foster in this world? Coward. Thank you Bravo TV for making it all worth it at the end of the day. Yeah. Okay. So next we have a new show, new show as we know, Southern charm Bravo has thrown a whole load of crap at the wall this season. They ordered about 100 shows and they're just waiting to see what sticks. So far, that show with gay porn stars on a boat and alcoholics, what was it that made on a boat? Yeah. Below deck. That's that's that's that did well. That got picked up and then blood, sweat and heels. I think it's been doing very well. Has it? I don't know. I think I'm sure it's just bullying and what else has done well? I don't know. God girls are girls. So what did you think of Southern charm? What is your prediction? Do you think that it will do well? Well, here's what I think I recorded it reluctantly because I know you wanted to talk about it. And I really had no interest. I'm like, listen, I got enough of Cameron from Real World San Diego when I watched that season. I don't need to watch a whole other show with her. I'm like a girl from Real World San Diego. Come on. Yeah. So I'm like, okay, whatever, I'll watch this. I have to say, I really liked it a lot. Um, oh, you did? Yeah, I loved it. Why? I love Southern charm. I think it's because I decided that I wanted to be them. Oh, Ben, you wanted to be them? Well, they just have so much money and affluence. And you know, I was raised in Westchester County and I was not one of those affluent people, but I got to see them a lot and seeing these people and their multicolored pants and waspies, Southern ways. Just seemed like, uh, that was the crowd that I wanted to be part of at one point in my life. And it just sort of awakened all these fond memories. That is so gross because I remember that country club crowd when I was growing up and I feel like they were just douchey, like rapists, all of them, you know, just like douchey. Like, I mean, I think if we had written all back then, it would, it would have been a common mixer. I think they're just disgusting. And still, when I look on Facebook, they're like running the car dealership, you know, and they're like huge shit. It's like, congratulations, you're a huge deal in El Paso, like, let's have a fucking parade for you. Listen, I actually thought it was like highly entertaining because they kind of all acted exactly how you'd expect, you know, Southern wasps to act, you know? I mean, they are obsessed with, with like lineage, obsessed with last name, obsessed with saying the word scion and not referring to a car, you know, this, I, I don't know, there was that one guy who was that there was like a chubby guy who wasn't part of the main cast, but he was like a friend of the cast who was so like, digs like exactly what you expect. Like a 39 year old Southern Charleston person to be with lots of money, you know, he was like, he was, he had this cackle. He sort of seemed like a, like a future Charles Durning type, you know, yeah, fat guy in a pink pinstripe suit or not even pinstripe, a pink stripe suit. Yeah. He looked like some sort of like, did you guys have the Ferrells ice cream where you grew up? What? Ferrells ice cream, have you ever heard of that? No. Well, where I grew up, there's this place called Ferrells ice cream and then when it's your birthday, everybody comes out and these like pink stripe suits and straw hats and they make a bunch of noise and they have drums and stuff and they sing happy birthday, but it's like their own version and it's really embarrassing. And I feel like that's his suit and his personality all together. Ferrells. Well, why don't we go through the characters? Why don't we like talk about all the characters? Well, Cameron, you guys, she's just one of the guys. She'll sit with you at lunch and talk about sex and boobs. I mean, she's like just, she's so much one of the guys that she can suck your dick, but it doesn't make her gay. I actually, when she was on Real World San Diego, I actually really liked her a lot. I was like a big fan of hers, but I do hate when people talk about girls being one of the guys because it's never true ever, ever, ever. Yeah. It's like, oh, you said boobs at the table that does not make you a guy. And also, all she talked about the whole time was how women have to get married and blah, blah, blah, which kind of automatically makes you not one of the guys. Yeah, absolutely. So she just, she passed her real estate exam and I'm sure she needs to start fighting with the other girl in the group named Jenna. And Jenna's whole thing was that she could have been, she could have been like a typical like blonde Southern Belle, but instead she sort of rebelled and now she sort of looks like she's in the black swan. She has like this fake Miley Cyrus hairstyle, which to me feels very forced. And I think the thing is that Miley Cyrus is sort of forced already. So to do a forced version of Miley Cyrus means that you're really, really out there on the force on the force spectrum. Yeah, she's like, I'm rebellious. So I'm not just a dumb blonde. I'm a dumb brunette with shaved hair. It's like, you still act the same. You still talk the same. You know, she meets the rich douchebag that we'll talk about in a minute and he's wearing blue sunglasses. And she's like, I like your blue sunglasses. It's like, Oh my God, you're blue. They're blue. They're so rebellious. I know. That's what I love. I love that the one guy was like, when they were talking about her, he's like, Oh, I hear she has a mohawk. Like, that's so hot. Her hair is just sort of like up, but it's like not. I love how that like qualifies as something like noteworthy to discuss. Oh, here's like, she has some crazy like punk rocker hairstyle. It's like she refuses to be blonde. So she's like the rebellious one. Ugh, gross. I also like how she talks about how she travels all the time and then she's like, but I think I'll say in Charleston until I get bored again. I'm like, no, you're going to say in Charleston until you get kicked off the show. Let's be honest. Don't act like you're here because you want to be here. Well, where else is she going to go? I mean, that girl has Charleston. I mean, if she was really a girl who is like, fuck this town, I hate everybody in it. I want them all dead. I cut myself. I crashed into a homeless person just to see if I get away with it. You know, shit like that. I'd be all behind her, but she's just some dumb blonde girl with a shaved head. Like it's, it's not a real rebel. Give me a real rebel. I think that's what this show is missing, you know, it really means because did you know revenge was filmed in Charlotte, like the pilot of revenge because it's a beach town and they have all these big mansions and stuff. Yeah. And I was thinking while I was watching it, that's what the show needs. It means like the lead of revenge who just wants everybody dead. Like she's there pretending to be nice, but she's just plotting behind and they're all going to die in the end. No, they don't. You know why? Because they tried to do that to Laguna Beach season three and it sucked. When it comes to these shows, you just want to see them rich and being stupid and you don't want an underdog, just, just let them be rich. Let me have an underdog. I said murderer. I want a murderer. Like a poor, you know. Yeah. Well, on revenge, she's not poor. She's got billions of dollars. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Um, then let's see. So the other big character was Thomas who, um, Thomas has, I forget his, I think his last name is like Ravenel, Ravenel, whatever, but there's a bridge that's named after his family. And he was, I think a state treasurer and he went to jail for six months for cocaine of some sort. Cocaine distribution. And so now he's back looking sort of like, um, an older, uh, Dennis Quaid and he's sort of like, uh, I guess he's trying to resurrect his political career, but doing it in the worst possible way. Uh, first misstep is going on to a Bravo TV show. Second misstep is wearing sunglasses on your head and sunglasses on your shirt. It's like douchebag times two. He, um, he makes jokes about his cocaine use, which I don't really mind, but I think he's like, Hey, I didn't have a problem with cocaine. I just liked the way it smells. It's like, wow, like you just, I mean, that's funny, but you just said you're trying to resurrect your political career. And he also boned some girl without barely knowing. Yeah. Exactly. So his whole thing is that his friend comes over and is like, all right, well, if you're serious about being a politician again, you're going to need to like choose a girl and just stick with her. He's like, okay, I guess I can do that. So first of all, that already is like, you shouldn't, we shouldn't be able to see that. Like we should not, like the voters should not be able to say, Hey, we think your marriage is a sham. We know this because you had someone come in and say, choose a woman, you know, so that's already a bad move. That one comes from a good family getter and he's like, okay, I'll fuck her and see how that works out. Yeah, there's a first lady for you. Yeah. It's like, he really is just doing every single thing wrong in every possible way. Yeah, he's pretty awful, but none of them really have to do anything. They're also well, well, some of them have to work, but the main ones don't have to do crap. They're just rich. And then I like that they're trying to make him like house of cards. Yeah. Well, this is how politics works. It's like you were the treasurer first of all. Yeah. I don't like you were the governor. I also, I love that he's so wealthy that his like redemption story, his comeback story is just like, so impossibly 1%. It's just like you can't help but laugh because like most people are like, well, when I went to jail, when I got on drugs, like I turned to music to help me or I turned to like, I think poor people and it really saved me and he's like, well, when I got out of jail, I was like, really listless and then I found polo. It was just like such a extremely rich person thing to say. I built my own polo field for a million dollars. House of cards. You know, we have to probably go with some of the drugs. I realized that I didn't really find myself until I discovered the joy of buying lots of diamonds. Yeah. So stupid. What about the guy who's his friend who still lives with his mom? Whitney. Whitney, who by the way, is an executive producer of the show. Here's what Whitney to me looks like. Whitney looks like Chuck Bass mixed with Jonathan Anton. Well, my question is, if you're going to get a wig, why would you get a receiving hairline wig? Like get a full wig. We can still, it's like, it's almost like, he's like, I know that no one's going to buy that I'm, I have a full head of hair. So I'll just think. Or straight. I'm kind of bald. Who cares? Just get a full wig. I mean, did you see John Travolt on the Oscars? That was a full on Eddie Munster wig. He would, he'd look like Teresa Judas with that wig, like a hairline all the way down to the side. If you're going to do it, just own it while receiving hairline wigs. Stupid. Well, I love that he also is sort of like, also kind of the quote unquote rebellious one. Like when he was having a conversation with Thomas later, telling Thomas, like, you gotta stop with the cooking jokes. If you're serious about like going into politics. And then Thomas is like, you know, the funny thing about Whitney is that like, even though he wears all these crazy clothes and they cut to him, he's wearing like a white blaze with a black shirt. It's like, it's not, it's not like he's wearing like a halter top and a thong or something, you know. Well, I still like that the politician guys like, I'm a libertarian. He said that like five times. I'm part of the libertarian party. I was like, I don't, I don't know that you really understand what libertarian means, dude. I don't know that a libertarian would be like on his own polo fields. Yeah. Making code jokes money is doing with it. What he wants. Oh, Lord. Okay. So who else when he is, um, when he came on, I automatically was like, Oh, here's the gay one. I just automatically assumed that. So I was surprised with that when he's, and in fact, I still think he's gay. Like though he talks so much about his frickin stabbing cabin that I almost feel like he's overcompens. Oh, a stabbing cabin. Yeah. He wants to buy a stabbing cabin. It's gross. And I mean, listen, he lives with his mother who already is like a gay icon. Like the moment I saw her, I was like, well, she's a gay icon already. You know, you can tell she's basically Lucille Booth. She walks into the martini, you know, being played by London Carter with a Southern accent. Um, yeah. And then the gay chef is really funny. It's like those are his parents, the, the mom, the drunk mom and then her best friend, gay chef. Yeah. And he's, this guy is like in his mid 40s, if he's a day. I mean, how old playing guitar, like he's in middle school. Yeah. He looks older than his mom. I have, I thought actually when she walked in, I was like, Oh, this is girlfriend. I swear to God. I don't know. They would never date someone that old. I know. Um, but, uh, but they're hard, but, um, yeah, they're, he's pretty pathetic, but he seems like the nice one, I guess. It's too early to tell who's truly the nice one. Cause I, I feel like we're going to see some true colors soon enough. Um, I can tell you the one who I think is the asshole. Uh, I don't even remember his name, but he's the lawyer. He's like the whiny lawyer. The asshole. Why he has a job. I like all the ones with a job. No, I like that he has a job, but you can tell he's an asshole. Okay. So here's, here's the thing. He reminds me of some of the people I went to college with actually, um, you know, I, I love my school and I more or less really loved a lot of people I went to school with, but there were definitely some people there who were like very, very, very old money who sort of came through and many of them were actually extremely nice. Um, but every now and then you see some, but you can just tell just like snobby prick. And this guy seems like that type. And in fact, I, I get the sense the lawyer guy, I have to do some more research. I actually get the sense that he's not as wealthy as the others. And I feel like he's trying to be a part of it a little bit more. And I feel like he's a little bit more, um, I, I think in, in his attempts to try to be part of that scene, he's going to be an asshole to get into that. I mean, I think he's admittedly poor. That's why he's a lawyer. Like, that's why he has a job. It's like that, the real estate girl, they actually have to work. So I automatically like them because they have to work. And he didn't come off as too Dushy in the beginning, but considering he's standing next to the guy who still lives with his mom and the politician who brags about how much coke he sold when he was in office, uh, I don't know. Like I don't, I actually don't feel like he's Dushy. I feel like he's like an asshole. If there's a difference, like, I feel like he's just like, like, I feel like if I talk to him for a little bit, I would feel shitty about myself afterwards. Oh, yeah. Well, I don't want to talk to any of them, but I would fuck him. So for me, he wins. Okay. For now, um, there's also Shep. Oh, is that the rich, the super rich young one? Yeah. The suit, he's, he's like 35 and he doesn't want to get married, right? We're 33 and he's like, my parents have been here since 1602. Well, congratulations. Um, congratulations on giving up slavery a second to go. You guys have really come so. Hey, y'all, you see that really funny movie, 12 years of slaves. It's like I cracked up the entire time. What a great episode of punk that was. I was like, we found a guy in the north, I brought him down to south and told him, Hey, guess what? You thought you were free, but you weren't. God, so stupid. It's so obnoxious watching these people, but I kind of liked it too. I was totally entertained by watching old money. That really gets me excited because they're just so stupid and sad. It's like, you can have all the money in the world. There was something like so much more refreshing about watching old money's stupidity versus new money's stupidity. I think that I don't know. I don't know. I'm just trying to figure out what the difference is because they all seem so stupid to me, especially the girls. I feel like at least with the new money's stupidity, you know, especially on housewives shows and stuff like that, the women, even if they're married to a rich dude, they're all trying to come up with their own business. Like there's some kind of pride in being an independent woman, even if it's fake. You know, and on this one, they just want to find a man. I'm having some audio issues and I can't always tell when Ronnie's speaking. So if I'm talking over Ronnie today, I apologize. Oh, it's OK. So what were you going to say? No, I was going to say, I think there actually is a difference between new money's stupidity and old money's stupidity. Because new money's stupidity stems from people thinking that they are a lot classer than they are and thinking that they have a lot more taste than they have, and they act ridiculous and tacky and do stupid things in inappropriate situations. And that's hilarious. Now, old money's stupidity is these people actually do have certain levels of class, you know, and they do have taste and they do have some sort of refinement, refinery, but like the stupidity comes and then being totally spoiled, you know, and being totally, totally ridiculous in a whole other way. And that's what I find is nice to watch, because we don't get to see that very often. I guess I just haven't seen the evidence that they have taste for class. I mean, I guess that they've been there a long time, but they, I mean, a pink pen stripe or a pink striped suit. And then I don't know, I think that's a lot. It looks a lot better than like, if you looked at Carlton's husband walking through a hallway. Well, that's true, but I like that because at least like Carlton husband's a big goomba, but I can respect the fact that he actually did something like these little rich white kids like just sitting back and getting fat. Yeah, that's another thing. You're on reality TV. You better start working out. Yeah, they, well, no, they have, they have the look that's appropriate for that area, you know, they're sort of, they, they have, I don't know, you know, what's very strange about the show is that there are only two women on it. And that's a little strange for Bravo. Well, no, there's three because that redhead is a character too. The one is not a cast member. Oh, she's not. No, it looks like she's in the season. They showed her a lot in the coming up this season part. Yeah, but she wasn't in the opening credits. Oh, well, I guess he gets rid of her pretty quick then. But we'll see. Um, no, I think, you know, I mean, I know what you're saying, like, you know, you have to respect people who worked the way up, obviously. Um, but we're not watching Bravo to respect. That's entirely always about that. And I also feel like half the people on Bravo who, quote, unquote, worked their way up, um, are con artists and grifters. Yeah, that's true. But so were these people, you think all their money came to them legitimately? I mean, most of it was earned on plantations off the backs of slaves. And then later, I'm sure it was just all screwing people over, investing the millions they already had, you know, it's so hard not to resent. Fuck, you know, now I, when I watch a show like this, I'm like, this is why white people will always be resented until you people stop this. And I, I renounce, um, my, um, whiteness, the half of me, this white, when I see shows like this, like I'll stick, I'll stay Lebanese until this season's over because that's some bullshit. I'm like, I'm ready to embrace the lost me and this other. I just love it. I just, but I don't know. I just, I just love watching snooty people. I just, you know, I always have, I mean, that's why I love Gossip Girl. That's why I loved, um, uh, I don't know anything. I just love snooty, Lucille Bluth. That's, although technically she's new money, I think. She is. Why? Oh, cause she lives in Newport. I don't know. She's borderline, like Don Abbey, Don Abbey, perfect example. Who, what do you mean? Perfect example of wealthy people that I love to watch. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I do too. Oh, the wrong fork, oh, Mary, oh, you brought up the soup. The footman brought up the soup instead of the ballot. He's wearing the wrong jacket and dinner. Sounding like my friend. Who you know, your friend Ronny. Um, I don't know. I, I enjoyed this. I enjoyed this episode. I enjoyed this world also. I don't know. I just a little different. I'm on board. I'm on board people. Well, that's to me as an aspirational show for me. I want to be wealthy and to be like laughing at things that are below me in life. I don't want to have to be sitting at home, eating lentils, which is what I did. I preferred new money. Well, I want new money. I want to be new money. I want to be like, I've got money. I'm buying a new iPad just because it came out and I'm going to drive a new car today just because I can. And then I'm going to play video games and a movie theater that I've rented out for all my friends. Like, I just want to be stupid like that. I don't want to be like, I wouldn't mind if some new money people clash with these old monies. That would be great too. Well, how old can they be if they're on a Bravo show? I don't mean, is that even allowed where they're from? But just going on a reality show. Well, normally I would say it is shocking because I think I feel like old money would never go on a reality show, but it must be that people at this point are so starved for fame that these people who have like, like generations of like Southern royalty, you know, behind them, I have given them the okay. People who have bridges named after them, people who are founding members of America, people who have, you know, who knows what, you know, it's, it is surprising that they're allowing themselves to be filmed. Oh, Lord, help us. You know what I want? I want a reality show on Bravo about the commenters like Zirena. It's all about you, right, showing off your wealth at every turn, like your daughter's apartment in NYC, you came from nothing. Be a bit more humble. We can see through you, Yolanda, very clearly. I want to see a show about this bitch in her bathrobe with curlers in her hair, chain smoking new ports and like eating melted Ben and Jerry's like drinking it like a cup of coffee. I think it's, I think it's called the people's couch, which we were not. Oh, I don't know. I really don't have anything to say, Ronnie. I'm sorry. I'm sorry to the listeners. Well, it's a slow week. You know, we could have just taken it off, but we didn't. We persevered. I and I'm glad we did because I liked Southern Charm and I am going to continue watching it and I'm going to get some fashion advice from them. I plan to wear some green corduroy tomorrow with a pink shirt and a bow tie. I, I, I plan to play some polo to find myself and maybe go into politics. Oh, God. Yeah, good treasurer. Good luck with that. But he actually just decided to become treasurer because he thought he was going to find some treasure and he's like, all right, where's the map? And he did. He was, he was selling cocaine. Yeah, he did. He apparently did find treasure. I was so sad after going to jail that I went and bought a plantation. Uh, yeah, but this week may have been lame, but it is the calm before the storm because next week is actually, we might have to change taping days because Real Housewives of New York is on Tuesday and I was totally fine with ignoring shots, but we cannot just be ignoring Real Housewives of New York. All right. Let's record on Wednesdays then. So yeah, we might have to switch recording days to Wednesdays. Sorry, everybody, but come on, we got to, we got to be talking about this. So when it's fresh, because it is going to be hilarious. Sonya is dating some 23 year olds. Um, what else is happening on this show? I don't know. But every time they show a preview, it's a different footage and it's all crazy and funny. Oh, and by the way, I want to give a shout out to Sergio Quintanar, who did some impersonations of Luan with his wife and he sent them to us. And I listened to two of them and they were really strange. And, uh, I just want to say I appreciated your commitment to the day, but they were funny. They definitely made me laugh. Oh, you want to listen to one? What? Do you want to listen to one? Sure. Let's play one. Okay, hold on. I'm putting my earphone up to the microphone. I hope this works. This is Sergio. He says, in honor of the return of Real Housewives of New York, please enjoy these sound bites. My wife and I recorded up the countess. Okay, here's one. How dare you. Okay, here's another one. What are these two doing? I think they're like drunk. I think they sent this to us in 19 hours. They were like drunk. I think when they send them to us, like the one was this one is called smoking crack. Okay, outtake. Okay. This is smoking crack. I'll take. They are actually drunk. If you were to do that, drunk. Italian friends alibi number three. I was smoking crack with Italian friends. Oh my God. All right. I guess what we're trying to say is when you get drunk, please just send the sound bites of yourself at your wife. We like that. We're watching in a corner. Yeah, that's fun. Okay, everybody. Well, thank you so much for listening. We will be back next week with a super sized show because it'll be the finale of the direct that has become Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. And we'll have more southern charm and we will have the beginning of Real Housewives of New York. And what does married to medicine come back to, you know, soon. And then in April, it comes back in April. Don't forget we have Real Houses of Atlanta. And don't forget we have Blood, Sweat and Hills. Oh, yeah. It's going to be a huge show last week. So don't worry. This was just a nice relaxing. Sit down before it gets crazy. How it is a palette cleanser. Yeah, it was a palette cleanser, you guys. Um, you can find Ben on also social media outlets at beside blog or his blog, beside blog.com. You can find me on Twitter at Ronnie Karam or trash tweet TV for recap updates. I'm recapping Real Housewives of Beverly Hills there. It might have the show. So come see him. And I'm also doing survivor in two minutes videos this season for survivor. And those are also posted the night after survivor errors at trash.tv. Thanks so much for listening to us. And don't forget to go to GoDaddy and get your $3. Your $2.95 domain using the code WWC295. Is that right, Ben? Uh, WWC295. Yeah, WWC295. Thanks, everybody. We will talk to you June next time. Okay. Bye, everyone. Bye. If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the internet. The folks behind the sideshow network of launch the new YouTube channel called Wait for it. It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza Schleisinger, slicing, driving friends with it for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there. And I still have a hard time with the last name, Liza. Our very own Owen Benjamin. That's me. 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Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at Wondery.com/survey. In a quiet suburb, a community is shattered by the death of beloved wife and mother. But this tragic loss of life quickly turns into something even darker. Her husband had tried to hire a hitman on the dark web to kill her. And she wasn't the only target. Because buried in the debt to the internet is the kill list. A cache of chilling documents containing names, photos, addresses, and specific instructions for people's murders. This podcast is the true story of how it ended up in a race against time to warn those who lives were in danger. And it turns out convincing a total stranger someone wants them dead is not easy. Follow Killlist on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Killlist and more exhibit see true crime shows like Morbid early ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. Check out Exhibit C in the Wondery app for all your true crime listening.
