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Ask Audible.com/crapids or text crapids to 500-500. Ask Audible.com/crapids/crapids/crapids/crapids or text crapids/crapids/crapids/crapids/crapids/crapids/crapids/crapids/crapids/crapids/crapids. Hey everyone, welcome to Watch What Crap Inns, I'm Ben Mandelker from bsideblog.com. You can find me @bsideblog on Twitter and Instagram and all sorts of social media. And joining me, as always, is my wonderful and lovable co-host, Mr. Ronnie Karam. Hi Ronnie. Hello Ben Jameena. Hello there, Ronnie. Ronnie can be found at trashtalktv.com, which is a great website with all sorts of hilarious satirical parodies of the Real Housewives, et cetera, et cetera, recaps. You should all go there and then follow him on Twitter, trash tweet TV, and just have a ball with it. And then of course, you should absolutely follow this podcast on Facebook, facebook.com/watchwhatcrapins. There's so much content on there, it's just amazing, it's so much more than this podcast. Great community of people. We will probably be referencing some of the readers in this very podcast. So get involved, like it, and have fun. Oh my God, some funny stuff on there. I was just watching someone tape the scene of Kim losing it last night at the dinner table, and posted it on here, and I just keep watching it over and over. It's hysterical. Stupid Kim. Here it is, man. Someone can tell the story, right, can? So this is, actually, I'm very excited about this, because what Ronnie is referring to, in case you didn't know, in case you've been living under a rock slash having a real life, he's referring to Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, which was absolutely crazy last night, and we have to dive right into it, and I'm very excited to say, here comes a Ben Mantleker name drop, which is that, just prior to starting the recording of this, I said, we're going to hash this all out, and Lisa Vanderpump, direct message, said, "Well, but it's not live, I'm sorry." Oh, I know, I wish this was still live, so you could just say, "Get on the phone, lady." I know, I mean, technically, if she has a Skype account, we could Skype her in. Do you think, maybe I should message her that. Should I tell her? Should I try to get Lisa Vanderpump to come in on this? Yeah. Okay, I mean-- Don't do that crazy. Go for it. Wait, hold on. I'm going to totally try it. Rani, you talk for a moment while I type this to her. Okay, so the basic thing, the show went crazy last night. Real Housewives of Beverly Hills went nuts. We have been waiting this whole season to see what the big brew ha-ha is, because we've been promised since the very beginning. I don't know if you remember the preview for this season. I did not until someone posted it on our Facebook page, but in the preview for the season, you see that Brandy is turned against Lisa, and she's telling Yolanda, "So do you really believe that she's blackmailing Kyla Mauricio," which was cut out of the show last night, unfortunately. So we didn't get to see that scene. I don't know if there were lawsuits in Paul for what apparently went further than we even knew. There were some allegations of blackmail, whatever. But last night, we finally found out what all of this is about. Brandy finally came up with a reason. Because she's been mad at Lisa this whole time, but has not been able to come up with a legit reason why, for all she said is that she's been manipulated. But now- To what end? To what end? I still don't understand. Me neither. So we finally, finally found out, or Brandy finally came up with a reason. And did it have to do with a dead body, or someone's life being destroyed or a maiming? Or like Lisa aborting, Adrien's first child and then Adrien couldn't have children after so she adopted? Yeah, or laundering money or some sort of sensational international crime. What was it, Ronnie? What was the cause of all of it? It carried more than 12 ounces of liquid onto an airplane? That's just offensive. It was... Where's this coming from, darling? Christina Marie. So the first part is that this is all... Brandy's saying that she's mad that Lisa's friends was she and Marie. But you guys are so close, but you have friends. Yeah, she's not ever fucking near it than she worked for her. So, yeah. What's your point? And let me say to that point as well, that on that season of Real House as a Beverly Hills, when Brandy came to Sur, at that point Brandy and Lisa weren't even like very good friends. And the whole thing with Lisa was that she was not friends with Brandy because everyone said she was awful and then she discovered on her own that Brandy was actually pretty cool. And so even if it's true that Lisa and Sheena were as thick as thieves, she didn't owe anything to Brandy at that moment. No, and Brandy's saying it bugs her and she's being used and this all was a setup so that Lisa could get publicity for her show. Okay, bitch, think about what you're saying. You're saying that five years ago, Lisa looked at one of Pandora's friends, this was before Real Housewives even started, and Lisa said to herself, "I'm going to try and get on a Real Housewives show. I'm going to make them have a Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. I'm going to get on it, then I'm going to lay really, really low, then I'm going to have the producers lie about some ex-model anorexic bitch being friends with Cedric and then she's going to warm her way into my life. Meanwhile, I'm just going to keep this hidden secret I have of Pandora's friend waiting tables at my restaurant so I don't lose her." She starts, "Sir, because that's going to be a great backdrop for a spin-off just in case she ever gets one and is able to use this waitress to go against this anorexic model idiot that she doesn't even know yet." I mean, come on, none of this even makes any kind of sense. I was hoping that there was going to be something real to all this, and that Lisa Vanderpump really would be outed as some evil mastermind, but come on, that's it. I have to say, I give like, where was it? Nancy Denine on our Facebook page wrote a great episode. My favorite quote/acculation by Brandy Talisa was, quote, "capitalizing off my heartache said by the woman whose role on the show and book deals are solely due to the fact that her husband divorced her." So this just goes to show, when Brandy says that Lisa is capitalizing off her heartache with Sheena, et cetera, it's bullshit. Brandy is the one who's capitalizing off of it. Yeah. Brandy's with the heartache already. Guess what? It's illegal to fire somebody because your friend doesn't like them. Yeah, exactly. No, the whole thing is... The first thing husband was fucking a 20-year-old. That's gross, when he was like 40. Yeah, and I had a little period of fucking pervert in the first place. Meanwhile, the things that Cedric did to Lisa and Ken were also reportedly just heinous and awful. And yet, I never saw Lisa hold that really against Brandy the way that Brandy holds Lisa's... The fact that she has Sheena on the payroll, the way that she holds that against Lisa. So it's like a total double standard by Brandy at this point. And we're not even at the mean fight. She doesn't even care about that. She does not even care. She has said in the media the past couple of weeks that she went after Lisa because... Well, she fired her whole team because she's looking so badly this year. So apparently, she fired everybody that works for her and blames them and says that Mimi leaks is the one who told her to turn on Lisa because if you bring the most powerful one down, you'll be the most powerful or whatever. So we already know that this is bullshit and she's just lying and making shit up. Right. And so to see that this is just sad, so I'm not even going to try and waste any time trying to think of how Brandy feels or where this is coming from because we just know it's a bunch of crap. Yeah. Much and the same way, it's also crap the way that Yolanda has now piled onto it because truly Yolanda, if you went back in time like six episodes ago, Yolanda would have looked at this whole situation and be like, "Well, you know, we're all mature ladies and it's up for us all to get along." And like, "It's okay. I think it's a wonderful thing that Lisa and Kyle are friends now." But now she's now because Lisa skipped out on like painting Palooza 2014. Now all of a sudden, Yolanda is like, "Well, you know, I think it's very strange. It's very fake. It's very Hollywood friends that she's friends with Kyle all of a sudden." It's like, "Shut up, Yolanda. You don't even know what you're talking about." And furthermore, I don't know what's more fake. The fact that Lisa had a party from Risio because it was like convenient or whatever. Since she gets along with Kyle, there's someone that she's known for a long time. They've had some rough patches, but they got over and they got through it. Or the fact that Yolanda hated Kyle for like the first half of the season. Yolanda wouldn't even talk to Kyle. And until I think she made Kyle cry at Carlton's Castle at one point and then Kyle went running off crying and then Yolanda goes and hugs her in the closet and it's like, "It's okay. I know you have a lot on your plate. I know you have a lot on your plate." I mean, you want to talk about fake. What about that one, 80? That's 10 times worse than Lisa throwing a party from Risio. Well, not only that, but they showed that clip last night and the editors were making it seem like Yolanda was saying, "Oh, I remember that night that we were in Palm Springs and you were crying and I came to the streets. They were making it seem like Lisa had made her cry." Yeah. Well, let's remember who made her cry. That was Randy, who was the one who brought up the cheating allegations that were in all the magazines, really rudely and really loudly at dinner. Yes. And that's why Kyle was crying. Yeah. All this done later, they're trying to make it seem like Lisa put some tabloid in Brandy's purse or bag to try and get her to talk about it. When Brandy just blurted it out to her Kyle on purpose, like, "We have TVs, you guys." I know we're kind of 80s, but they don't always have brains, unfortunately. Yeah. Another we're kind of idiots because we're fans of this show in the first place and we watch this. Like, we should definitely get our man cards taken away just for that alone. But we're not that stupid. I mean, we can fucking see. It's like, " Kyle, we know you're not a size zero. You're on TV. We see you. This is a radio show. Jesus." Yeah. So, you know, you mentioned the magazines and that was really at the heart of this issue. No pun intended issue. That was the first thing that came out with magazines. So the big issue is this when, so they're all sitting beachside, they're in Puerto Rico, by the way. They're on a truly beautiful, lovely vacation that Joyce has set up for them. And they're all sitting there having a lovely time in the water. And Yolanda decides it's the time to have a conversation. So Yolanda butts her face in and she says to Lisa, like, "You know, I think this is very fake. What you've done, da, da, da, da, da." And Lisa's kind of like, first Lisa says, "I sorted everything out with Kyle. We sorted it out and it's none of your business, which is correct in both fronts." And then she also starts talking about, "Well, you know, Brandi, like, Brandi doesn't get phone calls from you anymore. Brandi doesn't get this for me, and then Lisa says, "Well, why don't you last time Brandi called me?" Exactly. That's one of my least favorite things when someone says, "You don't call me anymore. Well, why don't you pick up the phone and call me?" Especially after Brandi's been complaining that Lisa's mothering her for weeks. And she has been ignoring her on purpose for like we've seen it and came here. Yeah, I did not invite her to meet her family up in Sacramento. You know what? If someone did that to me, you know what I'd do? I would pull away also. Yeah. You won't get your morning phone call from me, Ronnie Karam, if you pull that on. There will be none of that. Yeah, so Yolly is like, "Well, you don't know what this is happening to you. It's your husband's feelings." Okay, so now I have to take a real life break as real life as this gets. I made the mistake or had the pleasure, whichever way you look at it, of going to Bravo TV and reading the blogs, the cast blogs, which are just in my mirror. First of all, Kim, learning punctuation and spelling. I know that you didn't get to go to school as a child, but you're still alive and there are still schools. I mean, like you need to pull a Jerry Blank and let go back to kindergarten. You fit in there and you'd probably find a decent boyfriend for the first time in your life. But the one that I'm referring to is Yolanda's because that bitch is backpedaling so far and so fast. It is hilarious to watch. First of all, Yolanda has had a really bad week publicly because she's fighting with a stupid housewives blog on Twitter, trying to get people to go after this blogger and calling her a bully and you're an internet bullying me. So this week on her Bravo blog, she is, um, then let's talk about article. 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Spend your days lying on some of the best beaches in the world under the sunniest skies in the Caribbean and you'll see why this island is the number one guy in the group in the best way. Get a beachside massage with locally grown aloe or adventure outdoors with a hike or a snorkel. No matter what you do in Aruba, you'll find happiness. That happy, relaxing feeling you find on Aruba Shores stays with you. There's no drama. It's just a sun-soaked, white sand beach, crystal blue water escape that will leave you feeling jovani, baby. So save yourself the stress and headache of planning a vacation and instead book a rejuvenating trip at Aruba.com. Oh, sorry, Ben. I got your text. I'm too loud. I just texted Ronnie to say that he was too loud and causing distortion, but I was trying to be subtle because I didn't want to interrupt his rants, but I can't be a subtle homo. I mean, let me get my scot preferences. So anyway, so I go to her -- Oh, God, you have to walk the way up. Yeah. You turned that down a little bit, Ronnie. Okay. Do I sound better now? Well, it's hard because you're not ranting. Okay. So you're still distorted. You're still distorted. Damn it. Okay, now rants, rants away. This is low. I think it's a little go. Okay, that's good. Good enough. Little to microphone. Right there. Right there. That's great. So, see, first of all, the last paragraph of her blog is dedicated to someone who is intranet bullied, which is hilarious. It's Jill's Aaron. The first part of the blog is like, "Oh, you know, we didn't plan to pick on Lisa. We didn't dog-king up on her. You know, I just wanted to talk about all the issues with Lisa, which was not coming to my daughter Gigi's painting party." And this is all I was trying to talk to Lisa about. Again, we have TVs. We saw you go out to Lisa and say, "This is how Brandi's feeling." Like, it was not about your fucking painting party, at least the way you spoke it. Yeah. Also, she's on Twitter trying to rig this competition for her stupid daughter, who's like, "First of all, great mother. You sent your daughter off to do some top-list shoot for Sports Illustrated, and then you have to get your fucking crazy fans on Twitter to go go for her social win." Ringed. You're a lie. You're full of shit. You'll want to foster. Shut up. Just shut up. You'll want to foster. Well, you get to sit in the backseat with Jill's Aaron and both of you can shut the fuck up. The thing is this, I've actually been a fan of Yolanda for a while, even though we have certain friends, fellow guest podcasters who have called her the C-word many times because they actually know her. But I've always enjoyed her. But this episode, I think it really exposed a hypocritical self-serving side of her. I did not like that she pulled Lisa aside and was like, "Brandy feels this way. Brandy feels that way." And then when Lisa walks away because she's like, "These ladies are all being mean." And of course, they eventually come and follow her. And then Yolanda starts up again and Ken comes to the defense of his wife, which I love. I thought Ken was phenomenal this episode. He was acting like a real man. He was not being disrespectful, maybe with Kim a little bit later on when he called her, I think, stupid. But when you basically... but look, he wasn't being like Jojo dies or anything, he wasn't like, "Get your fucking twat out of here." He was just like, "This is rubbish. That's ridiculous. Why would you even say these things?" And what I did not like was that then Yolanda, Yolanda's like, "You know, I wasn't speaking to you. Like, Ken shouldn't speak to me that way and I wasn't even speaking to Ken. Like, Ken should not be speaking for Lisa, but you know what, Yolanda, you're speaking for Brandy. So why is it okay for you to speak on behalf of Brandy, but it's not okay for Ken. Ken to come defend his wife." No, in fact, I guarantee... I forgot to tell Taylor to shut up last year. Yeah, and I guarantee, by the way, also that if someone were coming at Yolanda and David Foster spoke up, Yolanda would be the first person to be like, "I think it's quite romantic that David spoke up for me. That's what a real husband does." You know, she'd be the very first person to do that. So honestly, Yolanda does deserve a ticket to shut up Mountain this week because she was absolutely ridiculous on that front. Yeah, she really was. Yolanda is acting like a fucking moron and I've never liked her anyway with her stupid like, "Oh, I have 20 children from five fathers, and we're all a big happy family." It's like a good job, bitch. Get a fucking job, please, I'm so sick of it. I love how far enough we are this week. My recap is 12 pages. I am like, no, I'm serious. Stop. Stop. This episode fired me up and we're only halfway through, so now here's the big question. The big debate in the entire episode, do we think that Lisa put tabloids in Brandy is back? I mean, forget for a moment that this is the most ridiculous controversy of all time. Do we think that Lisa put them in there? Yeah. Well, well, no, no, I don't think she put them in there. But I do think Lisa was kind of going, "Well, you know, I saw them, but I didn't put them in the bag. I didn't even see them until we were back." I mean, what the fuck? Yeah. Well, I don't read. I don't even know how to read. Those were Spanish magazines. I've never been to Mexico. Lisa was basically like Roger Rabbit getting cornered in a bar. Okay, and she was like, "Please, Eddie, please." She was not on her A-game, it came to defend her. She was like, "Really?" She was not, listen, we are definitely obviously team Lisa, but I will be the first one to say. She did a shitty job in defending herself. Please, on that one. But I don't think she went over there, and Brandy and Yolanda were like, "Did you see these?" Because it was more than one magazine, first of all, and Brandy had them like, "I love it." Brandy describes it. She has them laid out on her coffee table like a picture book. So it's like, "Okay, here's the time-life book, here's the book of these hearing photos, and here's all the magazines of Kyle cheating with Randy Hookers." By the way, and who bought those tablets, did they just materialize out of nowhere, Brandy? I mean, come on now. I mean, it didn't even buy us paper anymore. Yeah. I mean, we all get it online now. Brandy actually went out to a physical place and bought actual paper with things printed on it. I mean, when was the last time Brandy ever did that? I'm surprised. I thought she was an avid reader of the divine addiction. But here's the thing though, okay, so here's what I, this is, here's Ben's little conspiracy theory of the week. Whenever Lisa gets sort of caught in a situation like this, her first response, which Kyle even mentioned, is to say, "Oh, darling, it was a joke, it was a joke. You have to have some levity. It was just a joke, darling." That's like her go-to excuse. Because the fact that she didn't even bother with that one, because that's the easiest, most reliable way to get out of that situation, the fact that she didn't even mention that, means we think that I actually don't think that she did it. Because that's what she always says. That's what she always does. She was, "Oh, no, no, no, darling. You misinterpreted." Well, she was obviously guilty of something. So what I think is that she, Brandy was like, "Look at all these magazines and Yolanda was like, "Oh my God, look at this." And then Lisa was kind of laughing about it, because she wasn't getting along with Kyle. And we've seen her make comments, like, "Caddy, comment about Kyle." Yeah. Like, that's a big secret. Yeah. And she probably made some "Caddy, comment" or something. Or maybe she even said, "Let's bring it and read it for bedtime stories." You know? I actually think it could have been that latter thing. That's my other theory, which is that, you know, if you're about to go on a road trip, it's not the craziest thing in the world to suggest bringing a magazine along. You know, especially if your friend is on the cover, maybe she was just like, "Bring it. I want to read it. I want to see what they're saying." Because you know what? Maybe she was even mentioned in the article. Maybe she's implicated. I mean, have we learned nothing from the real house as of New Jersey? You got to keep up on what the tabloids are saying. You know, you know how to defend yourself. Well, I have no doubt that Lisa took joy in the fact that Mauricio was caught cheating with occurs allegedly. I mean, she didn't like Kyle. Kyle's been starting shit with her for years. It's not like Lisa's sum done. I don't doubt that she was saying bitchy things or making comments. But guess what? You're allowed to do that with your best friends. And if they turn on you, that's not your fault. That's theirs. I mean, think of all the cutty things I say to you guys on this show. I mean, if you want repeating things that I said, that would just not be nice. Like, you can't use that against me later, you know? Let's also not forget that Brandi is also a drunk, or at least she seems to be a drunk and she's professed to have been led to taking Xanax, she was on Xanax when she went to Hawaii, whatever. The point is that she sometimes is not in it, totally sober. She's also a compulsive liar. Nothing she said has been true. That stuff about Adrian, okay, well, we didn't know what the big secret was. But we did know that she said, what was her big thing with Adrian? Oh, the Adrian had served her with a letter through lawyers threatening to sue her, which she never did. And Brandi even admitted later that she never did it. Adrian sent a letter to one of her ex-employees who had signed a non-disclosure agreement and said, if you're the one leaking this information, I will sue you because you signed a non-disclosure agreement, which is completely okay. I think that what Brandi does is I don't think she's a fucking liar. She's a little screaming and then I don't think that she's like a compulsive liar. I don't think she makes things up out of nothing, out of thin air, but I think that she has a warped sense. I think that she sees things and she exaggerates and she twists them and she doesn't understand. I don't think she even realizes she's doing it. I think she just, she just, she misses, she misses her, I don't smile while everybody's going crazy and fighting. She just sits there and like, I mean, if she didn't, if she hadn't injected botulism into her face so much, we would actually probably be grinning like the Joker, but as much as she can move her fucking mouth, she's sitting there smiling watching the rest that she caused, you know? Yeah. She's a fucking bull-sitter. Yeah. So they, they really went after Lisa, a hardcore, this, everyone turned on her and you know, the thing was this though, like, I mean, listen, Lisa is not perfect. She has done wrong things. She has said things that she shouldn't have said. I'm sure she takes some, you know, she, some joy. Oh, and so while we're on that, for example, they showed a clip, a flashback yesterday when she was like, we've always believed you darling. They showed the clip of her telling Ken, well, we don't know if it's true or not. You know, I can't say definitively if it's true or not. How am I supposed to know? I'm not in the relationship and Ken's like, no, it's not true. The end of it. He's our friend and it's not true. And Lisa's like, well, I can't prove that. So, you know, she said that, which was kind of conti. And then at that dinner where Kyle started crying, she said there's, where there's smoke, there's fire, right? Or was that Yolanda who said that? I think it was Lisa. So it's like, if you're going to bring that stuff up and you will be like, Lisa, who's Yolanda said that. Oh, okay. So if you're going to, if you're going to bring up like legit stuff that Lisa's done or you think that she's made catty comments behind your back and trying to make you look bad. Okay. That I can get behind because that's a real fight. But just to make shit up is, I mean, also to what's really annoying to me is, okay, it's just the tablet thing is stupid enough. But then Brandy puts it out there and they just all go run with it. It's like, it's so gossipy and such hearsay. And they just, they just accept it. They just accept it when Brandy is the one who's always like starting shit with people. And, and for some reason, they believe this woman right now. And the truth is that when they come at Lisa, she is the one, Lisa has all her everything she said to defend herself was absolutely right. Did it look, did it look sort of guilty for them to walk away, perhaps, but at the same time, I know that if it were my, if it were my mom and dad and they were being attacked by a bunch of like idiots, they would also leave. Yeah. Yeah, fine, but my mother would probably stab them. And then she'd use her alcoholism as an excuse, just like fucking Kim. Yeah. You know, and that's another thing, Kim, you know, one thing I put in the recap, I was like, you know, who else has an excuse because they were an alcoholic. And then I put a picture of mothers against Trump driver and mothers against Trump driving and said, stop complaining about your dead children. You know, the people who were driving those cars were alcoholics. It's like, shut up, Kim. Every time someone brings up something and she did wrong, she's like, oh, damn, y'all is not the only back then. Oh, Kim, please, that does not excuse everything. You do not get a gold star for being an alcoholic, you fucking idiot, okay? I was actually not being drunk today. Well, what I was really happy about was that so at the dinner, what happened was we then go to a very tense dinner and, you know, Kyle, Kyle decides to ruin it and be like, well, I want to talk about it. She's like, I want to ask both, she wanted to ask Lisa and Brandy, like at the same time, like, is the magazine situation true, whatever. So then everyone starts to fight and then Kim starts saying, well, you know, there's always like, the truth is always like, you know, I feel like you're always lying. It's like that like when you were in Wisconsin, instead of coming to, when you said you were in Wisconsin, instead of coming to my daughter's graduation party, and you know what, I was so glad that Ken finally was like, well, why didn't you come to our daughter's wedding? Why didn't you come to our daughter's wedding? She's like, well, I was moving. I was moving. That's it. Really? You didn't RSVP. And then she was about to kill him because why? Because that's when she was drunk, Ken. And you know that. How did you bring that up on TV? Kim's a victim. That's what I'm talking about. It's like, shut the fuck up, Ken. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe that time he said you was in Missouri. Kim, first of all, that's not where she was, but get your, get your places straight. But you know what I also loved in that entire scene was that like, Kim kept on like trying to get like a good angle to see Ken and so her head kept on going back and forth. It was like one of those inflatable dolls that you punch and it comes back at and she's like left and right. Like she couldn't. And then I love that, finally, Ken just like, get out of here, get out of the way you stupid face him. Get out of the way, Kim. Admittedly, that was rude. Ken, that was like mean of Ken, but you know, but you know what though at that point, she pushed him out. He's had to deal with fucking Kim popping up out of nowhere just to cause shit or be a bitch. This woman has done nothing, nothing for anybody else. She's one of the only women who's not part of any fucking charity. The only time she leaves her house is when she absolutely has to to collect a fucking paycheck or sign autographs next to like the kid from Webster or whatever is going on over there. She doesn't do anything to her, anything to herself. She doesn't show up to anybody's stuff. She doesn't RSVP to anything and then she'll show up to cry blame everything on her alcoholism or to throw somebody else out of the bus or to, you know, like run up to Marie's gonna be a cop. Do you hear what Lisa was saying? It's like the worst game of telephone ever. It's like drunkie telephone. Oh, she said that you got a penis taken off and became a hooker. I mean, I was someone at a hotel bar and he's like, what? You know, who said that? I thought that were my friends and stuff. So say that about me. Yeah. Stupid Kim. Mr. The Joyce is the one who came out looking the best. Well, yeah, because she didn't say anything. I know. It's like, if you're just quiet on this show, we all like you, you know, it's like the minute you open your mouth, everyone's like, killer, I almost wish you were really distorted today, Rodney. I had to say your audio to all the people at home. I don't know what's happening. It's distorted. It sounds it sounds like you're speaking. Oh my gosh. Do you would have told me that it wasn't facts. I did tell you, but I think you were still like very heated from the rant. It's okay. So we just have to say that it's okay. We can still understand you. It's just that it's going to be a little intense, intense for listeners. But that being said, you know, Carlton also made out like a bandit mainly because she wasn't there. Although I kind of would have liked to have seen her there because she just would have been appalled by every single little thing, but all the wrong things, like, could you believe, could you believe that Kim is wearing a ponytail to dinner? I mean, where are we, the circus? I'm so glad she wasn't there. I know. And I think it's really sad. Does this sound better? Oh, yeah. Much better. What'd you do? You see? I could have fixed this a long time ago. You guys? I tried to tell you. I just won't shut up. Where'd that work? It would. I just had to re-plug in my headphones. Oh. Well, do you see guys? Sorry for all that torture. God, that must have stopped. But you know what though? See what also? That's also the way adults handle things. They just tell things politely and then they politely fix it. And then I politely blame you later for the rant. This is actually going to be the beginning of the end for our podcast because we're going to go tell people off the air and then start resentments and then have a big fight over dinner. Yeah. Matt called me the other day and he said that he wants to start a podcast away from you because at least it'll sound clear. Well, Matt wanted to put a bunch of tabloids about you in my satchel and I was like, "No." But he's like, "Yes." Put them in there. I was like, "Okay, fine." But then when he wasn't looking I took them out. So that's like a really damning situation. I don't know if it's like Ronnie has been fucking his dog viewer. Like if whatever is in the tabloids, bring them to dinner. I will be so excited to be in the tabloid. I don't care what it's about, if I'm murdered a child. Yeah. And by the way also when I like when they're like the things that Lisa have done, they've hurt my family, they've hurt the kids that are like, "What are you talking about?" Because Lisa has brought allegedly wanted to bring the tabloids. Lisa, it's so stupid. You know what? Tell your husband to keep his shit in his pants, allegedly. Oh, by the way, who do you think leaked that story to the tabloids? Brandi, who the fuck else would it have been? Yeah, Brandi was like feuding with him last season. It was the inside source. You know it was Brandi because she hated Kyle. And now she's turning that around and trying to make it seem like it was Lisa so she can get some more fucking camera time. Brandi is ridiculous now, grabbed it, thank God something happened on this show. And now it's not time we had like a good episode. So stupid. And then Lisa leaves Puerto Rico. So next week we get to watch dumb dums in Puerto Rico doing nothing. Like, oh, Mauricio, Mauricio and Kyle are going to pretend to be a loving couple some more and make out. And Kim's going to be wacky and frame talk Spanish and get dime bags. And Yolanda is good. It's like what is Yolanda? And Yolanda is going to walk around the big coconut tribute down. I can work on a tribute. Alright, well listen, we have since you have a heart out today, why don't we move on to another show? We can talk I guess briefly about Vanderpump Rules. This week, Vanderpump Rules was a like the secrets revealed. And the way I like to describe this show, I'm going to use an analogy. It's an extended analogy. So give me a moment here. So I kind of feel like the Vanderpump Rules as a show is kind of like a big turd, you know? And like the reunion is like when you wipe your ass from the turd. And this episode was like, you know, like when you have that, when you take a big shit and you wipe your ass, but then like an hour later, even though you were totally convinced you would wipe everything off an hour later, you're like, I feel like there's still something there. And then you wipe again. And you're like, oh, there's still like a little bit there. That's what this episode was like. Yeah. That's what we prayed that this is like the poop specks that are on the rim of your toilet. That's off with like a nail. That thing said, like it's my favorite show, bro, though, don't get me wrong. Someone said that Tom made a comment like, yeah, I would have done it with another guy. What did Tom say? What gay thing did Tom say? Um, I don't know that he would have, I think that he would have been fine to watch Kristen with another guy. Um, oh, okay. Well, that's not so bad. I thought Mikey was getting in on it or something. I do remember there, like when I was watching the special, I was like, you know, I've only learned one thing this episode, and I can't wait to mention it on the podcast, but even that I can't remember. It's just a bunch of like little random scenes of them like bickering, laughing, doing stupid things. Nothing too special. Yeah, that's just stupid. So glad it's over. Can't wait to see what they do next year, because what are they going to do? They're going to make Olivia Palermo a lead, I guess, because she's like the biggest bitch laugh, and she hasn't done anything yet, and they're going to have to kind of bring in new people. I mean, horse face number two can't do anything. No. What are they going to do? I know. And by the way, I'm so glad that Bravo found another way to expose us to even more tan spray tans and ass shaving, because I was like, oh, you know, or ass waxing, I was like, you know, we haven't seen it enough on this show or the other shows. Thanks for cramming in extra footage of it on the, on this like secrets revealed special. Yeah, I can't with that show. And you know what? I really wish that we could have that Lisa fighting with these bitches because she would take all these bitches down. Yeah. And what before I know that we're moving back after we just moved on, but I have to mention my favorite part of the episode because I forgot. Oh, okay. Is when they're back at the hotel and Ken's like, all right, darling, it's just me and you against the world forever smoking their cigarette, which someone pointed out was like the couple on House of Cards sharing a cigarette, like when they're like ruling the whole world and take over, which is funny, but also Lisa's crying and Ken makes a chess comment, which I thought was very interesting. He's like, you know, they set it up and then Kyle had a checkmate at dinner and Lisa stopped crying and looked at him and went, that won't be a checkmate or that won't be the checkmate. And then she kind of smiled and I was like, you go bitch. Yeah, because you know what? If she wasn't manipulative before, now she will be. But what these people don't realize are always like, you see what happens whenever you go up against Lisa, she destroys you. It's like, no, Lisa doesn't destroy you. What happens is you go up against Lisa, you look like an idiot, the public decides they don't like you anymore. And then you're destroyed because of that. It's not because of Lisa. It's because you go after someone who's likable and nice, not nice, not nice on this one. It could read the con. You should all go to Bravo TV, which, you know, I don't like fucking that shit, but go to it and read the comments on these ladies blogs. They are hilarious. People are just ripping them to shreds, all of them. The only one who's not getting ripped to shreds is Lisa. Yeah, good. I don't think she's posted to her as yet, but everyone else is getting it. And they're going to say, well, it's because she has a show with Andy Cohen's, they're only allowing good things on her blog. They're going to have a whole, whole set of reasons, but they don't realize it's because of them. They stupid, they stupid faces. Okay. So speaking of Brandi supposedly being told by Mimi to bring down the most powerful one to become the most powerful over Real Housewives of Atlanta, Kenyon is bringing down the most powerful one to become a big time. Kenyon is doing an expert job of that player. That bitch is doing it right. She is making Mimi look like the biggest fucking fool ever, maybe losing her temper left and right. She's saying things that she's not going to be able to take back, but she's pissed off every day in America at this point. Yeah. There's no coming back from this shit and I am loving it. It's hilarious. Oh my God. It is amazing. So I think we had, there were basically two major events on this episode, right, which was one was that there was a surprise party for Peter. And at that surprise party, Kenyon is sort of brokered an uneasy truth piece, whatever. Truths. And then, but Mimi was also still pissy at Peter because Peter had words with her at the last thing. And then the other significant thing that happened was that the Bailey agency put together what actually looked like a really fun event called the Bailey Bowl. It's like the first time ever that Cynthia and or Peter have put something together that I think looks legitimate. And so now if you remember the last time there was a field day on Bravo, you may remember that it did not go so well and it was in New Jersey and it wound up with Gia crying on the field and what's her face, Jacqueline scolding her with a picture book in the living room or something like that. Yeah, so basically Jers basically, Nini was on the same level as nine year old Gia. That's what happened this week. Well, she's mad because Marlow is friends with Kenya now and she is not even pretending to come up with another reason to be mad at Marlow. That's pretty much it. So now she's completely cut. And Marlow, of course, is not going to be, you know, turned away like that. So she straight up goes after Nini and follows her and pulls a charade, falling Nini out and criticizing her. Yeah. She did that. You're busted ass missing teeth, you're a rented car. I'm rich. I'm very, very. Let me tell you something, Marlow is a beast. She is she's an ogre. She might be a man. She is all sorts of things. And sympathetic is not one of them. But in this episode, I have to say, I thought Marlow, like, she seemed like she was being really nice to Nini. And Nini had a whole attitude. It's like, you know what Nini, get over yourself, girls can be friends with other girls. And this goes back to Beverly Hills too. You know what? This is a problem that seems to be very prevalent amongst bravo women, which is that there are two territorial over each other. Just let it, like, just stopping jealous of each other for once. You guys are tearing each other down. Well, I mean, I see what you're saying, but Nini is, Nini is correct. Kenya is hating Nini. She's doing whatever she can to get on her nerves. And she's purposely befriending Marlow because she knows it's going to piss off Nini. I honestly believe that. But Nini is dealing with it in this, in the wrong way, like, she's totally manipulating you. She's trying to make you crazy. And it's working. I mean, this is like two weeks in a row now and you've looked like a complete asshole. What did she scream about Donald Trump as she was storming off? I don't know. Well, I thought that like Marlow said something like, have Donald Trump fix your hair. I think Nini said something like, I don't know. It was so like, I was like, this, my jaw was dropped. I wasn't really taking in any specifics. I was just like, these people are so ridiculous, so ridiculous, loved it the whole time. Thank you. Well, poor Candie, she's like, see, now, where is Rad? Because, see, now, everyone's cheating on me right now. Like everyone's cheating. See, I'm the only one who like went back to starting my hoo-hoop. Oh, Candie got so competitive, I love how she entered with all those cheerleaders and everything. Yeah. Who ended? I don't even know who was winning. I was, I was cleaning the house when that shit happened. I don't, I don't think that anyone was taking any reliable scores. Okay, we have got 12 minutes. So what's going to happen? Okay, the Shahs, do you want us to talk more about Atlanta, do you have anything else? No, except just to say that Nini is acting the fool. Okay. So 12 minutes before Ronnie has to leave, so let's talk about Shah's Sunset Reunion. But maybe so quick, you know, okay, the Shahs of Sunset Reunion. Okay, more crazy people. So basically, we sat through an hour of Gigi and MJ saying the nastiest things to each other, belittling each other, Gigi calling MJ fat and stupid, MJ just saying, just terrible, terrible things. And then we get to the hour, at the end of the hour, and he's like, "Hey, MJ, can you say one nice thing about Gigi's or anything that you love better?" And MJ's like, "Everything, I just, I love it all. I love her all." And Gigi's like, "I love her, too. It's great. I love her." And he's like, "What?" These people are certifiably insane. That's the way I hate that show. They are so gross to each other and they're supposed to be friends. They are so gross. And if you ever called me fat and ugly, I'm sorry. We're not going to be friends again. Ever. You become president, I'm just going to be calling someone fat medley. And then you think MJ is going to have a higher moral ground and going to say, "Oh, you're going to call me fat and ugly. That's really nice, Gigi." But instead, she goes, "You're going to call me ugly with that nose." So they're ripping each other apart. They're just, they're crazies. And meanwhile, there was also, they tried to burn Lily at the stake, but I don't know. I still continue to be on Lily's side. I feel like... Lily is like a non-player. They put Lily in a really difficult position in terms of this whole party thing. Even if, regardless of whether her party sucked or whatever, if she had a finite number of seats and MJ is, MJ who calls her all sorts of awful things and is mean to her and is trying to push her out of the group millions of times, and MJ doesn't have the courtesy to RSVP until the night before. I think it was fine for Lily to say, "Sorry, can't accommodate you." And I think it's like bullshit that now Lily looks like the bad guy when it was MJ who put her in that position. Well, I think that the thing with her is, look, these people are already friends when you're coming into the situation. They're horrible fucking people. If you're going to be on this show, you're going to have to be a horrible person. Like if you're not willing to play, then you're going to be on the sidelines, which is what happened this whole season and why she won't be back for the next season. Like I don't blame you and you're totally right that these people are awful like they are horrible, they're all going to hell. But you know, that's kind of why people watch them on TV. So if you're going to be nice, do it somewhere else, lady. By the way, I saw Sasha, you know, I saw him at the Abbey this weekend, and I almost was like, "Oh, I should take a picture with him and put it on our Facebook page." And then I thought to myself, "You know what Ben? There are. You do have some standards." It doesn't feel good to know, but were you standing up a little taller after that? A little bit. He was actually kind of cute. I have to say, he looked good. What else? Oh, so Greta was looking completely nervous this whole time with his eyes and uncomfortable. And you know when Greta looks nervous, it's because he's about to take somebody, rent a bus with Mike's picture on it and run them over in the middle of this person. Oh, I thought you were going to say he was nervous because you couldn't find the sliders on a table. How fun is that? That's so Persian, that's so Persian to put the sliders front and center. Like only white people hide the sliders. There's so much food on that table, and they're all actually picking out the... Yeah, they're eating the entire time. That was the funniest part. But he's about to throw somebody completely under the bus because that's pretty much what he does. He's friends with you, tells everybody your best friends, and then he fucks you over because he has no life or storyline to speak up of his own. So Andy asked him about the thing with Mike, and it's all off. Mike's a user, Mike's lazy, Mike's sis, then they go at each other, and then that ends with, "Well, now how do you feel about Reza? I love him like a brother." He's an asshole. Reza, will this ever be fixed? No, it's unfixable. This is not going to be fixed. That is like, it's like it would be so hard for it to be fixed. I would have to have some compassion, and I've realized that I just don't have compassion right now. It's just not something that I have in my life. I don't have it. I didn't have Mike said he doesn't even have a family because his mom won't even speak to him. I know. That was good. I liked the way Mike took him down. Yeah, Reza. Whatever. They're going to have another fake hug next week where they're going to apologize and say, "I just want to friendship back," and it's going to be fake and nothing will be resolved. Yeah, there's also. Next year, everybody's going to find some reason to go against Asa. Yeah. Asa's next. You get poisoned from diamond water. Some shit's going to go down. I don't know, but she's next because that's basically how it works on this show. Yeah. Absolutely. It was definitely got canceled. Yeah. I think we talked about that last week, didn't we? And then did you watch Blood, Sweat, and Heels this week? Oh, yeah. We still have another show. Yeah. Come on. Yawn. No. Not as explosive as other episodes, but I am a big fan of this show, and you know what I loved? I love that they returned to the Wesley Snipes well, and once again, Michael called Geneva Wesley Snipes, and this time they actually put a side-by-side picture up on the screen. I was like, "Oh, hell no." And it was hilarious, and you know what? Totally accurate. Totally accurate. Oh, I love Micah that she keeps saying, "Well, you know, my husband was cheating on me. He was in the relationship of 20 years. That means you were cheating, bitch. You know that, right? You're the other woman in this. But she didn't know. The whole thing was that she didn't know. Yeah. Exactly. But once you find out, you stay with a man who's cheating on someone who's been with for 20 years. Yeah. And there is something not right with that girl, and it's not just the alcohol. No. Obviously, she's a little bonker. She feeds wine to her and chilling in Rocky after Barack Obama. So she's like, "She's got one through loose, but I would have it no other way, personally." But you know, just as I was watching a show last night, I think Daisy's mom came through, and I just was thinking that like, it really is, I feel like the show is so refreshing because all these women, they really are significantly smarter than the women in Atlanta or on marriage medicine. Pretty much any reality show coming out of Atlanta. These women are definitely brighter, and you can see several of the parents have appeared on the episodes, and you can see these are women who come from education. Like their parents are all like educated professionals, and it's just, it's refreshing, and I think it's like really, it's important that you, that you see this, because honestly, as we've said many, many times before, Bravo makes black people look ridiculous, and it's like, I think it's nice that there's finally like, educated black people on Bravo who, sure they may be fighting, but they're not like, looking like total idiots, you know? Well, that's the problem with the show. But they still have good fights though, they still have very good fights. So boring. I'm not getting it. I'm not getting it. And they're like, everyone's too 40, 20 to fight, but they, they're the ones like starting it and calling someone an alcoholic 20 times a week on national TV. Like that is starting to fight. Like you can act all smart, log lady, demetrio, whatever, but you're just as low down and dirty as everybody else. You just speak really well. Yeah. I don't know. I'm not into smart people on TV. I do not fit. I don't fit. It works. I think we need to go back to degrading television. And look, if Gae's on a level looks smart on TV, why any other minority, you know, let's all get back to looking stupid so we can keep Bravo on the air. The sad truth is that blood, sweat and heels is kind of like Bravo's answer to down nappy. It's like the refined show that they have. So the most educated and most spoken people are on blood, sweat and heels. I mean, you had to have laughed a little bit when Micah said that like if there was going to be a fight, there would be pieces of two long food all over the walls. Yeah, I'd have laughed at that a little bit. But that I did laugh at that. But it's mostly just boring. It's like they won't fight, but they'll get right up in each other's face and stare each other down. Yeah. You know, and otherwise, what are they going to fight about? It's like you're an alcoholic. No, I'm not. Yes, you are. No, I'm not. Yes, you are. Yeah, I've seen it. I know. I'm enjoying it again because I know someone who drinks a lot and is destructive and has kind of, hopefully he's not listening, but he has kind of alienated himself from a lot of us. And I know what it's actually a very real situation to be in. So in certain ways, I kind of identify with the main conflict of this show, but I also think that the characters are really kooky and funny. And I, I don't know, I just, I love it. And I think Bree is sort of like a great semi villain, you know, because she's just so, she's such a prissy bitch. It's hilarious. She really is a prissy little bit. She's like, she really is a spoiled brat and it's, and she's so fake. She's so fake. It's great. But then when you start calling her on her shit, she, all of a sudden her claws really come out, which is kind of my favorite type of character. Yeah. She, you know, she was acting kind of like the sweet, innocent one. So it's funny that she is ending up being the biggest bitch out of all of them. Yeah. Well, that's good. So Ronnie, guess what? It's time for you to leave. Thank you. This was the shortest one we've ever done. I know. Can you believe we covered all the shows in one hour? Hour. That is not right. So Lisa Vanderpump, if you did in fact listen, hi. She probably did that a long time ago. Yeah. She's probably like, what the hell is this? She's like, oh, these are my supporters. Never mind. I'm wanting Brandy now. She's like, I admit it all. She's like, if these are the sort of people that are going to follow me now, then I admit it all. I put the tabloids in the suitcase. I did plant Sheena five years ago. I am friendly with Sheena. I do have conversations with her. Yeah. And by the way, when will Brandy realize that Sheena is probably there because the producers put it there? And I like, by the way, that Brandy was like blaming Lisa for Sheena being out dancing with the stars. And I'd stop being so narcissistic, Brandy, to think that like every move everyone makes is like somehow involves you, like either like thinking of you or thinking how to take you down. Please. She got invited to the show because she's on Bravo and she's works for Lisa and Lisa probably said to her employees, like if any of you want to go see the end of the stars, let me know. Yeah. And not only that, but Brandy brings herself down. I mean, she screwed herself over so hard. I don't even know how she still has custody of those children. All they have to do is take in her Twitter feed, like take some fucking screenshots. Yeah, seriously, terrible, terrible human being like shut up already over there, Brandy, you and Yolanda, get in the car, drive somewhere and shut up. I mean, I don't, I'm not, I've had a break quite yet because I want to see when we find out that Marie really has been sleeping with tranny hookers. I need to see that. Yeah. Do you know? It's the housewives. Yeah. All right. So on that note, if you would like to continue this conversation, if there was anything we missed because we were being super fast, go to our Facebook page, facebook.com/watchwhatcraphens. We also have a Twitter account, by the way, called @whatcraphens. You can find Ronni@trashtalktv.com. He does very funny recaps of Real House, West of Beverly Hills. Go check that out. I'm at bsideblog.com and I, my Twitter handle is bsideblog and that's my Instagram too and my Vine and all that sort of stuff. And Ronni is at a trash tweet TV. So really, you should be following us because we'll make your life much better. I'm back. So thanks everyone for listening. Ronni, good luck going to wherever you're going. Yeah. Thanks everybody. Talk next week. Bye. If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the internet. The folks behind the sideshow network have launched a new YouTube channel called Wait for It. It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Eliza Schlesinger, Slicing driving friends with it for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there and I still have a hard time with the last name Eliza. Our very own Owen Benjamin, that's me, takes you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes and much more. You don't have to wait any longer. Just go to youtube.com/waitfortcomedy. There's no need to wait for it anymore because it's here and it's funny and I love you. To the insurance company that's burned me, our time together has come to an end. It's not me. It's you. We both know what I'm talking about. 15 minutes ago, I began courting GEICO. It was just the easiest thing I've done since buttering my biscuit at breakfast. Not only have I saved hundreds of dollars on my car insurance, but also the future tears you were sure to impose. My heart and my coverage now belong to GEICO, sincerely, not yours, Tara, in telly ride. GEICO. 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance. If you like Watchbook Crapins, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com/survey. In a quiet suburb, a community is shattered by the death of beloved wife and mother. But this tragic loss of life quickly turns into something even darker. Her husband had tried to hire a hitman on the dark web to kill her. And she wasn't the only target. Because buried in the depths of the internet is the kill list. A cache of chilling documents containing names, photos, addresses and specific instructions for people's murders. This podcast is the true story of how it ended up in a race against time to warn those who lives were in danger. And it turns out convincing a total stranger someone wants them dead is not easy. Follow Kill List on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Kill List and more Exhibit C true-crumb shows like Morbid, Early and Ad-Free right now by joining Wondery Plus. Check out Exhibit C in the Wondery app for all your true-crumb listening.
