Losing weight can be hard, and when it comes to prioritizing your health and feeling confident and strong, it can be difficult to know where to start. Now you can get your health in check and be confident that you're on the right track to getting healthy through hers. Hymns and Hurts is changing women's health care by providing access to GLP1 weekly injections with the same active ingredient as those epic in wagovii, as well as oral medication kits. Weight loss by Hymns and Hurts is realistic, it's not restrictive, and it's focused on giving you access to the solution that is right for you. So you've been struggling with your weight loss journey, it's time you find an option that works for you, with Hymns and Hurts. Start your free online visit today at forhers.com/crapid. That's F-O-R-H-E-R-S.com/crapids for your personalized weight loss treatment options. Forhers.com/crapids. Hurts weight loss is not available everywhere, compounded products are not FDA approved or verified for safety effectiveness or quality prescription required restrictions apply. Unlock your imagination with Audible. When you listen to audio content, your mind is free to paint the scenes and feel the emotions of a great story. Audible's extensive catalog is short to have titles that you'll enjoy, immerse yourself in captivating tales, learn from world-renowned experts, and discover new perspectives all while multitasking or relaxing. There's more to imagine when you listen, and one title that I've been listening to is my friend Neil J. Young's coming out Republican, which talks about the history of gay Republicans. It's super fascinating and super interesting. As an Audible member, you choose one title a month to keep from their entire catalog. New members can try Audible free for 30 days. Visit audible.com/crapids or text Crapids to 500-500. That's audible.com/crapids or text Crapids to 500-500. You know, just because Valentine's Day is over, doesn't mean you can't still send someone special a little something. I mean, it could just be the mailman, it could be your friend, it could be just the hot pharmacist at the City Target up in San Francisco. Who knows? But you know what you should give them? It could be a Starbucks person that you like that's always giving you free pumps. It could be a homeless guy at the corner. Yeah, that's what they need, strawberries. It could be Paula Abdul. And you know what you should send them, you should send them, Sherry's Berries. Yeah, treat Paula Abdul like the gift that she is and send her some Sherry's Berries. Yeah. You guys send giant dip strawberries from Sherry's Berries for only $19. $19. That's over 40% savings. Go to Berries.com, click on the microphone and type in watch. For our listeners, you can double the berries for just 10 more with our code. Just type in watch, okay? Yeah, I mean the berries are like huge and covered in chocolate and they're like melty and tasty and you can have them like dipped in white chocolate or milk chocolate or dark chocolate. You can get swizzle and all that fun stuff. You know, you just send them to your friends even if you don't, you know what, even if you don't even like someone, send them to that person and kill them with kindness just like what's Kenya more? Yeah, you guys know that I'm always pretending to be on a diet. So when I got my Sherry's Berries, I ate two and then promptly gave them away. And my neighbor, Brian, loved them so much that he washed my dog two days in a row. I mean, my dog didn't even need to be washed two days in a row. And I got two watches. So thanks, Sherry. Did you get your dogs and Sherry's Berries too? No, chocolate will kill a dog. Oh, nevermind. Don't do that. But then I wouldn't have to bathe him. True. Okay, you guys go to Sherry's Berries order now, get double the berries for $10 more and do not forget to use our code watch berries.com b-e-r-r-i-e-s dot com. Has what shots, banter pong rules, cotton gouther round and make a hollown business. A podcast of applause, but no big ones with brothel. Perhaps I'm fair in my camera, but I'm home. Watch what crap is. Watch what crap is. Watch what crap is. Who cares? What? (music) Hey, welcome to Watch What Crapoms, the podcast about all the crap we love to talk about on Bravo. I'm Ronnie Karam from Trash Talk TV, and as usual, I'm here with the handsome, lovely, and talented Ben Mandelker B-side blog. Hello, Ben. Hi, Ronnie. Before we get started, you guys can find us on facebook.com/watchwhatcrapoms. That is where we talk with you guys, and you guys can post articles and stuff, and we're always posting a bunch of stuff. So, the show goes on all week long on facebook.com/watchwhatcrapoms. You can also tweet us. We're not great at tweeting back, but we love to read tweets at What Crapoms. You can find Ben on every social media outlet ever put out on the internet at B-side blog. That's Instagram, Twitter, Facebook. His blog is even B-sideblog.com, Match.com, Grinder, all of them B-side blog. And I am different on everything. On Twitter, I'm @RonnieKaram, or Trash Tweet TV. And on Instagram, I'm at Trash Talk TV. And that's probably all you really need to know, guys. Also, I write Real Housewives of Beverly Hillsery caps over at Trash Talk TV every Monday night. So come by, okay. Okay, so that's enough of that self-promotion crap. Oh, yeah. Share your stories. Yeah, share your stories. Watch. Okay, Ben, that was a lot of me talking really nasally and fast. What do you want to talk about? Well, I guess we have some gossip this week. I had two encounters with marginal Bravo personalities. I guess you could call them this week. I feel like sharing the story. I think being on Bravo is marginal enough. So they're marginal Bravo's people. They're in trouble. So who are they? Well, the first one wasn't really a story. I was out at the club and I saw Candy Burris's choreographer. You know that cute little gay guy? Yeah, the guy who's going to be 15 until he dies. Yeah, exactly. So I saw Matt at the club and he was with some guy who looked like a gay version of Rick Ross, which was kind of interesting. But he seemed very nice. I went up to him about drunkenly. I was like, "Hey, are you Candy's choreographer?" And he was like, "Yeah." I'm like, "Oh." I'm like, "You're adorable." And then I walked away. Oh, I'm surprised you didn't try and get his number. No, no, no. He's not my type. But he was actually a cute little guy. So for that gay Rick Ross, if you're banging him, go have a good time with that. And so now here's his other stories. The very next day I was out at a restaurant. And I was at Bloodsos in Los Angeles. If you haven't been to Bloodsos, you should go because it's great barbecue food. And I ran into my friend Diana there. And Diana's sitting at a table with her friend. And I walk up and I see her friend. And I'm like, "Oh my God, hi." You know, because Diana is from the world of food PR. And people who read my blog may know that I write about food a lot. And I get invited to these random food blogger type of events. And you meet all these food bloggers. You can never remember who's who. So I saw this girl. I know I had met her at some food blogging event. I'm like, "Hey, what's going on? How are you?" And I give her a big hug. And she stands up. She's like, "Hey, what's going on? How have you been?" We're chitchatting. Of course I'm drunk, I should also add. I've been in Bloodsos for two hours. And I'm like, I'm just saying, "How's your night going?" We're sitting there all chitchatting. And then my friend comes over. And I'm like, "Hey, I'm really happy. You guys should come." And Diana's like, "No, I can't come. I can't come." But this other girl is like, "Yeah, no, oh my God. I think I'll totally come to the Abbey. That'd be so much fun. Oh my God. I'll just see you there." I'm like, "Yeah, awesome, awesome." I'm like, "I love that girl." So then, you know, I never see you the rest of the night. And I text Diana the next morning. And I'm like, "Hey, remind me the name of that girl that you were eating with." And she's like, "Oh, it's Krista Simmons." And so I look up Krista Simmons. I've never met this girl ever before in my life. She was a judge on Top Chef Masters. And I merely recognized her from Bravo and assumed she was a friend of mine. Oh, that's funny. That's so LA, too. Hi, how are you? They're like, "Oh my God. That probably was like a guy who worked on the crew. I better be nice." Yeah. Well, she, because she apparently asked Diana, she was like, "Who was that guy again?" So neither of us knew each other. And we thought we were like old friends. Yeah. I want to hang out with her now. Yeah. That's all you really have to do. A friend of mine went to eat it, sir. And when Lisa was coming in, she said, "Hi, Lisa." And Lisa said, "Oh, hi, darling. Where do we know each other from again?" And she said, "Oh, we don't know each other. I just, you know, I just like you." And she was like, "Oh, okay." You know, that you have to fake it. Yeah. It's a good... Well, you know, yeah. It happens in LA all the time. Apparently... Not your phoneies. Here's a story. This is a top brand. But this is a story that's killed me for the past 11 years. But apparently my friend was waiting for me at a restaurant once. And this person, this guy came up to her and was like, "Hey, what's going on?" And she thought it was me. And she's like, "Hi, da-da-da-da-da." And they were like, "Cha chatting." Because she hadn't seen me in a few years. So she was, I don't know why she couldn't remember what I looked like. The guy walked away. And then someone was like, "Oh, my God. Did you know who that was?" And she's like, "No." And they're like, "It was so-and-so." She's like, "Oh, I thought it was my friend Ben." And then I walked in. And she's like, "Oh, some celebrity came in here where I thought it was you." And I just chatted with him. I was like, "Who?" And she's like, "I don't remember." So for all these years, I've always wondered who my celebrity doppelganger is who had a conversation friend. What if it was like Alan Thicke? That would be aiming high. It was probably one of the sons from step by step. Okay. So let us talk some gossip. I think the biggest bravo gossip of the week is that Bethany's talk show got canceled. So I guess we just have to sit back and wait for Jill Zarin to start popping up as a talking head on every fucking show on TV to talk about her feelings about Bethany's show as it cancels. It's a rough year for Bethany. Her show got canceled and also her Skinny Girl Margarita. Her Skinny Girl brand is apparently tanking. And I think that's probably in part because of the talk show. I think the talk show was supposed to help promote the brand. But I think there's nothing about that talk show that makes you want to swallow anything. You know, I think you want to spit everything out of your mouth and just go die. Yeah, that was a pretty bad show. She was very abrasive with her gats, I feel like. She was kind of rude and not in a windy Williams kind of fun. Like, "Hey girl, kind of way." Just kind of like a bitch. Like, "Why'd I drive to do your show bitch? You're mean." Yeah, she's like abrasive and she's like tacky. And the one episode that I saw had something to do with, like, how I would have put on underwear in certain ways, the way your thong doesn't do whatever. So she put on this thong on the air. And then she took it off and she's like, "Yeah, who wants that? Who wants that?" and she gave it to a guy. I'm like, "That's just disgusting." Like, "Yeah, you're a dirty used thong." And put it into like a medical red bag that you throw out into the dumpster. Well, we should all have such a terrible life. Because she got paid like $40 million for Skinny Girl Flat. Plus, she's been making profits off of it, you know, since then. Plus, she made all that money from her talk show even though it got canceled. But, I mean, she's fine. She can now disappear and be set for life. Except, I read in some article that Jason Hoppe will not settle because he wants more money. They said that they've offered him millions of dollars and he won't accept. Like, he wants even more. Which I think is hilarious. Yeah, well, I'm about to say she could be as rich as she wants, but her daughter is still going to be raised in a highly dysfunctional environment. So, have fun with that, Bryn. Yeah, have fun. Good luck, Bryn. You're going to be just as neurotic as your mother. Can't wait for your show on Bravo in 20, whatever. 40 years. Yeah, you have to be past your expiration date to be fresh on Bravo. So, speaking of child support, Amy, Amy Mayberry-Kundiff just put on our Facebook page. Brandi tweeted today that Eddie is now asking for child support. LOL. That's amazing. You know, I think, honestly, a better situation for these kids would be living with Bryn in Bethany's apartment at this point. Yeah, this is all going downhill. And then there's some more Beverly Hill stuff, but I'll talk about that when we get to Beverly Hill. Are you talking about what Cindy C. posted on this page just now? Okay, yeah, you will. You will talk about that because I haven't read it, but I've started to skim it right now as we speak. Okay, well, I'll just talk about it now since you brought it up. So, Cindy C. posted on our page looks like Lisa Vanderpump has had enough and is putting Brandi on blast in her blog about Cedric. Good. So, this is what Lisa said. Basically, she didn't have Cedric deported, but she was his sponsor for his work visa. So, when he went back home and didn't have a sponsor, he couldn't come back. And why the hell would she sponsor him? And by the way, the side note, this just proves how dumb this guy is that he went after the sponsor of his visa. No kidding. And then he's dumb enough to leave. Like, like customs, you know, like the border is just going to let him in. Like, he should just go back to that old phone booth you used to live in with his mom. Yeah, go live with what not happening. Fontaine from Les Miserables, like his whore mother in Paris. Give me a break. I dreamed a dream in time gone by Cedric. Cedric, bring mommy a cigarette while she bucks this guy. So, anyway, that was the first part of it. And then she ends with the most interesting thing that I discovered, which I never would have exposed is the fact that Brandi had never met Cedric. She wasn't a friend of his, and they hadn't modeled together. She had somehow concocted the story with somebody else. She came into my life on a lie. That should have spoken volumes. By the way, what's funny to me about this is that she concocted the story with someone else. Who could that other person be? Oh, I know, producers. And it's the same reason why Sheena keeps popping up in Lisa's parties. It's because the producers put her there, and these people, when are they going to realize that this is obvious producer manipulation to get these exact responses out of them? No kidding. These people are so stupid. And it's so funny watching them try to skirt around it because they're not allowed to say, "Well, the producers did it." Yeah. Andy on the Vanderpump Rules Reunion is like, "Well, Lisa, you know, you had Sheena there at that party, and then Brandi was mean to her." And Lisa's just like, "Well, you know, she's trying to..." She can't be like, "Well, you did it. Like, what the fuck are you talking to me for? You're the one who made the call, Jerk. I wouldn't have put her on." Yeah. I also have to say this to, by the way, talking about Brandi and Sheena. Yeah, no, it's fucked up that Sheena was the home wrecker, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And no one wants to be around the home wrecker. But this is one of the problems with Lady Society, you know? Women that go after each other. And you know what? Brandi's rage should be going squarely at Eddie Cypriot. And it's not to say that she doesn't aim her rage his way, because she certainly does. But at a certain point, she has to sort of, you know, just to get over this a little bit. It's been eight years. Well, it's the only thing she's got in her life. She has no personality. She's just got to use it to keep having something to talk about on the show. It's like, "Shut up, already. We know you got dumped." But you married the hottest guy on the planet and stayed with him even though he cheated on you. I'm sure hundreds of times, because you liked spending his fucking money. So shut up, Brandi. Just shut up. But in the comment thread of this Lisa thing, they're talking about it. And someone said, "Oh, Cindy said now she's blaming Nini and says that Nini told her to take down the fave to become the fave." I mean, these women are really disgusting. This is what Brandi told Brandi to take down. Suppose Cindy C. says she read somewhere that this is how housewives operate. Well, she heard from them, who heard from them, who heard from them. It says, "Now she's blaming Nini," says Nini told her to take down the fave to become the fave. Listen, that's exactly how you do not become the fave. The way you become the fave is you get in with the fave. You don't try to take down the fave because the fave is a fave for a reason. Yeah. Did anyone not learn anything from Jill Zarin, who tried to take down Bethany? Did anyone not learn anything from, well, Atlanta doesn't count because they all try to take down each other at all times. They also all think that they're the fave. Even Marlow. Yeah, I think the most egregious example is Jill. Jill is the biggest idiot. Oh, and she gave some interview, of course, talking about someone else's misery like Ramona's. She was giving interviews because Ramona's leaving her husband for cheating or whatever. So, of course, call Jill. I mean, what the fuck, people? Shut up, Jill Zarin. Shut up. Wait, I'm sorry. I have to make a sidebar here. Okay, discussion of Ramona and everything. It reminds me of a god-awful press release I received that I have to read to you guys. This just reminded me of it. I'm going to pull it up right now. Okay, so there's this, do you ever get anything from this guy, Tamara? I'm used to until I fucking sent him an email and told him to shut the fuck up and call him a stupid queen. And he wrote back, "I'm married. Thank you very much." Yeah, so he's this awful guy. I'm not even going to say, well, website, he's with me. He is the worst. If you guys feel like looking him up, you can look him up, but I'm not going to mention his website. And the reason why he used to send us Ronnie and Ronnie and I, and also Lisa Timmons on social life, every single day, an update about anything. If a housewife took a shit and he happened to be in a five-mile square radius, he would be like, "Hey, this just in. I was in Gramercy Park and Ramona was five blocks away and shit." And then he always has a picture of himself standing with them. It's like that person who has to have a picture with themselves. Who does that? I want to see Julia Roberts, not you with Julia Roberts. Exactly, and so he always has gossip about basically low-level reality stars in the New York, New Jersey. And he also uses those wet paint headlines where he's like, "You'll never believe how Brandy Glanville almost killed herself." Yeah. And it's like, Brandy laughs so hard when someone farted that she almost died. It's like, "Shut up, Tom Morrow, why the fuck am I reading this email?" He's truly, truly, truly awful. So, all of a sudden, like, back from the dead comes Tom Morrow with a press release that he sends me. And he goes, "Hi, thought you could use this." He goes, "Now it starts." Me and Ramona singer in the New York Fashion Week Mercedes Benz VIP lounge last night, and by the way, at this point he's already lost me because he opened a sentence by saying, "Me and Ramona singer, okay, we're not in third grade here, okay, people." Ramona singer and I, anyway, so here it is. Me and Ramona singer in the New York Fashion Week Mercedes Benz VIP lounge last night, before going to the Zangtoy runway show, I have never seen her look so good. She looks like she's 35. We didn't address the elephant in the room, friends do that sometimes. So, already I'm like, "Shut the fuck up." Like, I'm so not impressed if you're friends with Ramona singer. Like, the least impressive thing you could ever do. And the fact that he's like kissing her ass, talking about how good she looks. And the fact that he's not even friends with her, you know, he's just following her ass around. Yeah, and I just love that he knows that friends do that sometimes. Like, "Shut the fuck up, Tom." So then here comes, okay, so here comes second paragraph. "I also made two new friends, Gigi from Jerseylicious, there, with her, quote, not my boyfriend, quote, "Peri, they were both a lot of fun. She mentioned something about the style network being canceled and the show being up in the air at this point." Tom Morrow. I'm like, "Wait, where has the gossip been here? Like, you met two people from a canceled show that was on a canceled show on a canceled network, okay?" Yeah, I was going to say the big news is that there is a style network. Yeah. Is that still a thing? I love that he's passing this along as information about like, "Oh, the style network is canceled." Guess what? That happened nine months ago, okay? Anyone who has a working cable box knows this at this point. Yeah, Tom Morrow, you're like a 50-year-old fucking straight guy. Get a job. Your wife must have a really good job. Listen, if you're going to like name drop, name drop about former judges of Top Chef Masters, okay? But don't stop that. You're delicious. What could you do when you saw Reza in an elevator? Now, that is important shit, all right? Yeah, I wonder, Ronnie, what would you do in that situation? What if I saw Reza? I did. I told you. I know, that's why I was sending you up. Yeah, you see? I saw Reza in the Target elevator and he was stuck in there with me and I just said, "That's a version!" And he just looked like so afraid and then kind of ran out of the elevator. That's so wide. That's so wide of you to do an impersonation. Oh, okay. That's so wide. Yeah, he ran like hell. I don't think that's probably the first time he's running like ten years. He ran like one of those snipers on the Turkey border where it was coming to get him. Yeah, he ran like there was a slider across at the end of the Target. Like there was a slider stand. He heard that there was a slider, but when he got there he discovered it was a slip and slide. And as we all know, that's so wide to be on a slip and slide. Okay, we're going. Okay, well, are we done with gossip or do you have more? This is obviously a very hidden gossip day for quoting Tom Murrow, so I have no more. Yeah, he made me so disgusted with Housewives gossip in general. Like, we're grown men. What are we talking about? But before I start trying to commit suicide over what we do every Tuesday, maybe it's time to just start doing it. Yeah, listen, I'd like to say one more thing about Tom Murrow. When we mention these celebrities that we encounter, we always sort of like mention him, I feel like in a tongue-in-cheek way. It's like, it's funny, you know? This guy really believes that this is like impressive, you know? It's really impressive that he met someone from Jerseylicious. Oh man, poor thing. He would die in Los Angeles. He'd be like, this just in. My good friend, my good friend Jasmine Guy was at Starbucks with me. I was going to say hello to her and say, how's it going? But I didn't. Friends do that sometimes. You'd be like, I was in, sir, and I got waited on by Sheena. And she asked me if I wanted more water. And then she told the best boy to get some. That's friends do that. Yeah. Oh God, I hope the listeners like this because I was really afraid that this podcast was not going to be good today because I'm like a little under the weather. But clearly it's going in great place because we're just railing. We're just railing on Tamuro already. Tamuro is pond scum. And I totally agree. Like there's a difference between making fun of this shit and like taking it seriously. You know, so anyway, we're better than you, Tamuro. So just stop. Just stop. Okay. Take me off your mail chimp and just stop it. Yeah. Okay. So let's talk about shows. You want to start with Bev Hills since that probably was the most. Recent action packed and recent. And probably everybody's talking most about that because we are, you know, again, we're seeing the unraveling of this friendship between Lisa and basically everyone. I mean, we saw on the previews that last. I mean, that next week, everyone's going to dog pile Lisa with and he starts crying, which is crazy. So. Yeah. I mean, I'm still on Lisa's side through all this. I, these people, they need some drama in their lives to keep talking about her manipulating and trying to get her way. But, but if that's true, what's her end game? What is she trying to do? What is, what is the manipulation supposed to be? Is she just trying to get people to fight? Well, guess what? You are all fighting. So I guess she, I guess she succeeded. And not with her. That's the thing. Like they're all trying to fight with her, but they don't have anything. So, yeah, it's like, you know what, Kyle, when you get in a stupid dust up with Carlton over, you know, the, whatever star is on her leather hide neck, you know, at least has nothing to do with that. That's just what happens because you're, you're a petty woman fighting with another petty woman. You know, Lisa has doesn't have to do anything to make that happen. The whole thing was so stupid. So for those of you who didn't see it, there was some bullshit party for Gigi, who was going to college if you haven't heard because it's been on every, like, episode for 15 hours. They act like they act like they're sending her to Asgard. Like, she's going to a different realm. She will never see it again. Like, she's just going to live with Ewoks because she will always be the thinnest one in the room. She's going, she's going to live in a frozen palace up in the mountains. I'm sorry, I saw frozen last night. So all my references. Oh my God, I love frozen. I was about to say, Ronnie, I bet you loved it. It's so show to me. And the gay subtext is through the roof. Yeah, one of my friends is nominated for an Oscar for writing that. Thank you very much. We were princesses together at the Jupiter theater in Jupiter, Florida when I was 19 years old. And she became a famous songwriter. And she's going to take you to the Oscars, right? Because that's what she is. No, are you kidding? I bet you'll need to return my Facebook. I shouldn't even be. She's probably like, "You aren't my friend, fool. You want me to meet." So anyway, I'd like to-- Tamara, Tamara, take note that when we name drop, we name drop with Oscar nominees. Yeah, that's right, motherfucker. And if you need me to get F. Marie Abraham to get on here and tell your ass off, I'll do it. Yeah. And Oscar from the '80s still counts. It still counts. So, for those of you who did not see what happened, there was this big party for Gigi. And of course, it's at Muhammad's house because God forbid, you'll want to rent a fucking hotel route, you know, a hotel, whatever. What do you call it? Not a conference route. A ballroom. A ballroom. Gigi wanted something small, intimate, and Arabic. Apparently, Muhammad is the only one in the world who has that. And Muhammad, by the way, was going to cook for this big dinner, which I believe that he's actually a good cook. I actually really believe that. But I loved, like, his version of cooking, or the extent of his cooking, I should say, not his version, was stuffing some herbs into the chicken and then handing it off to basically the servants. It's like, "Okay, well, I've done cooking." It's like, "I'm doing all this work, and then you see all these chefs around him that he's handing it to." Yeah. He's like, "I've picked some mint and some rosemary." Yeah. He's like, "I'm regular." He's like the Arabic island garden. Yeah, strolling around the garden, picking things. Yeah, I love that. He's in the garden. Shut up. Get inside. You're not in the garden. You don't do anything for that goddamn garden. And by the way, look, here's the thing with Muhammad. I looked him up yesterday because I was trying to write a recap joke about something Yolanda said, which I'll get to later. But I was like, "I'm sure that Muhammad's had 20 wives." You know? So I looked up his wiki so I could find out who his other wives were. And it actually made me like him. Like, he came from a core family. He came over here. He didn't really have anything. And what made him stand out was that he loved art and he's an artist. And so when he started building homes, he started painting art in the homes, like on the walls. Oh, that's awesome. You know, so that kind of made me like him. I don't hate Muhammad, by the way. He hasn't had a million wives. So I actually came out of it kind of liking Muhammad, but that's just a precursor to me saying, "Listen, people, I don't care how much money you have and how old you are and how many facelifts you need. Every time you get a facelift, you pull your hairline back two inches." And that's why everybody on Bravo's hairline starts in the middle of their head. Like, congratulations on having a full head of hair, but it's like in the back of your head, you're going to look like a samurai guy in like one facelift. Stop. Stop with that. Like your forehead's smooth. Who cares? Who are you going to fuck with your forehead, dude? Stop. So anyway, I'm glad he brought attention to this. I have to say, I like Muhammad. I hate his hair. I hate his hair, but I like everything else. And I have to say, my big takeaway about Muhammad was that I always thought his house is like the biggest in LA, and then I paused when they had a transition, and they zoomed out from his house. And when they zoomed out, you saw the house that was next to his. And holy shit, that thing is huge. So this is what I do when I watch the shows. I go house hunting. Well, that's what the shows are actually really fun for, you know? Yeah. Except for when they go visit Brandi's house. I know. Her poor little lease. Her house looks like it could actually be on house hunters, which means it's like it's a one bedroom with maybe an open concept and some kind of need to be replaced. Yeah. She's settling for a bathroom. And it's not near the end of town. I mean, near the center of town, but she's got to take it because it's in her budget. And it's better to live within your budget. She needs to start spending so much money, by the way. I mean, Botox is not cheap, and she's obviously getting a what it with her shot. She's had a stiff tongue again. This is like five weeks in a row. She's had a stiff tongue. Last week, she said it was because she had a food allergy. This week, she said it was what she said. She had an aspirin. Oh, she had an aspirin. No, bitch. It's Botox or cocaine. Yeah. Or both. Both. No one's believing. Oh, you know what the problem is? She's snorting her Botox and she's injecting her cocaine and she's all mixed up and her tongue can't deal. Yeah. Well, she needs to start spending money because we know that housewives don't really make that much in the scheme of things. She's not going to do anything once housewives is over and you don't make much money from having a book either. So I know that's a lot of money to you, but put that money into your Wells Fargo account age gracefully and send your kids to college and stop acting like such an asshole. Okay. Maybe too late for one of those things, the age age and gracefully, but she can at least age. Well, she's still only 40. I mean, she's still has a chance. Yeah, but she's done a lot to her face. Yeah, but I mean, if she stopped now, it could at least. Kind of settle, you know, like. She can age. She can age very gracefully. She looks. She looks lovely. She will age very gracefully if she just shuts up and acts graceful. Yeah, which she never will. Okay, so we're having this party at Muhammad's house and Kyle for whatever reason. Past aggressive. This is what it was. It was a passive aggressive reason. That's the one thing that was not talked about, but go on. So Kyle goes up to Brandy and she's like, listen, I have this ring and it go. It's a crown for the school that I gave Carlton and I forgot to give it to her, but it goes with the ring. And so, I mean, it goes with the necklace. So she might as well have it. So here, go give it to her for me. And Brandy, who's totally against Lisa meddling in everything, runs right over to Carlton and is like, here's this thing. Here's the thing. And of course, Lisa's like, that doesn't even match. Yeah. That doesn't mean Lisa just looks at it. She's like, oh, she's like, I think what she was trying to say was like, oh, like, are you sure this goes with it? It doesn't look like it matches. You know, and maybe she was trying to like, you know, fan the flames a little bit, but that's not like the. It's, I don't know. To me, it was pretty innocuous. You know, I thought. And this was this pretty much launch World War three. Yeah. So then Carlton's like, I won't accept. I can't. I can't. I can't accept it. I can't. I can't accept it. I can't accept it. I can't. Crandy. Remember, Brandy hates meddling. She said that about 20 times in this episode runs back to Kyle. And, you know, she doesn't want to be manipulative. So she's like, Kyle Carlton doesn't want this ring. She won't accept it. And Carl's like, what? Why? She's like, well, because, you know, whatever. So turn of agent. Maloof. Yeah. Like, well, you know, screw her or whatever. Brandy's like, can I just keep it? So Brandy keeps a ring. And then she drops the bomb. The bomb that Lisa said, oh, well, Lisa said it didn't even match, which is why Carlton was mad because it doesn't even go with, you know, so she totally changes what happened. To the situation. So Kyle will attack Lisa because she doesn't have the balls to. And Lisa was encouraging Carlton to keep the ring because it might have been a piece offering from Kyle. Even though we knew it was the exact opposite. It was a passive aggressive, like, hey, guess what? I gave you a necklace and you better remember that. Yeah, again, Lisa is trying to help Kyle and saying, listen, just go make up with her. She's obviously trying to make a piece offering. And Carlton's like, no, I can't. And so, you know, I can't. I can't do it. How many times have we seen Lisa do that for Kyle? She's always done it. She's always tried to stick up for Kyle and get people like, actually, she's always tried to stick up for everyone, really. Especially Brandy. Especially, especially, specifically Brandy. Yeah. Well, she gave Brandy a whole career in a life. Brandy would never have stayed on that show had Lisa not taken. Absolutely. Because no one else would even look at her or speak to her or film with her. Absolutely. Yeah, Brandy gave her, I mean, Lisa gave that bitch life. So, look, like I said last week, I'm not a big fan of sticking up for anyone desperate enough to be on one of these stupid fucking shows. But Lisa, really, I mean, come on, Brandy. Like, the woman made you. Yeah. Period. Like, behave. So, Brandy is totally fucking up. But of course, Kyle fell for it and started trying to start shit with Lisa. And Lisa's just like, basically, not laughing in her face, but just shrugging it off because she's over it, you know? Well, because it's also so stupid. And like Lisa said, in the Confessionals, she said, you know, such an innocuous remark, I can't even believe it was even repeated. Yeah. Well, my favorite thing that she said was, I guess God forgot to give me a dick because I just don't understand these women fighting over stupid shit. Well, I think that also, I think there is actually some cultural stuff that comes into play sometimes with Lisa and the other women, Lisa being British. That's what I'm talking about, because later on, Kyle and Lisa were shopping and Kyle was trying to sort of like get an apology from Lisa from the comments she made all the way in the beginning of the season about Mauricio, the rumors about Mauricio being with a younger woman. Admittedly, that was actually poor of Lisa. That was poor for him. I'm not going to defend that. And you know what? I think that when Kyle was sort of asking for an opinion, I think that I think Lisa, she could have just said, you know what, I'm sorry, I didn't realize I'm still bothering you. I'm sorry. But she didn't even say that that's what it was about. That's true. Kyle said, Kyle said, well, you know, like when, you know, all these rumors about me and Mauricio, because Kyle had told Lisa that she was mad that Lisa wasn't standing up for her in public. Like she wasn't going on the red carpets and denying it. Right. That's what it was. So Lisa thought that that's what she was talking about. So she said, well, I stood up for you publicly and so did Ken. She didn't know she was talking about that thing if she said, look, you made a comment about my husband fucking tranny is in front of my daughter, which was really tacky. She would have said, you're right. I'm sorry. Yeah. I think the thing is though, like, you know, this may be me over generalizing, but I kind of feel like it's a British thing to be like, this is ridiculous, you know, to be like, like, listen, we've talked about it. It's over. No more discussion. Yeah. We're not going to talk about our feelings. Yeah. Exactly. And I don't think Kyle understands that. It doesn't necessarily mean that Lisa is justified in the way she acted, because it's also up to Lisa to understand Kyle's American culture, but. Which is undermining backbiting. I mean, all Kyle has done all season is try and turn everybody there against Lisa. And you know what's kind of funny too is that like all last season and some of this season, Kyle just wanted to be friends with Lisa again. She just wanted to be friends with her, wanted to be friends with her. And the moment that they're friends again, the first thing Kyle does is start to undermine Lisa. Yeah. Yeah. Kyle's a fucking asshole. But it is, you know, I said this last week and I'll say it again. It's really good to see Kyle being a bitch, because really that's what she's good for. It is. It is. I'm like, I'm really enjoying that, that side of Kyle. So I can't wait to see her get her asshole ripped open at the reunion because she has no brain. Yeah. You know, that's part of the fun of it. And I'm glad she's at least not pretending anymore. She's being a full fledged right now. Meanwhile, Yolanda is jumping on this whole anti-Lisa thing and I think it's purely because Lisa did not show up to paint pictures in Malibu on an afternoon. Like, I think it's clearly clearly that was the thing that annoyed Yolanda and she's been very like dismissive of Lisa ever since and trying to brew things up with her too. I'm like, this woman has to get a life like the way she pictures for my daughter. She's going away to college in case she didn't hear, she needs, because dorm rooms are so huge, she needs to fill up all the space with these pictures. She will need, she will have so much white space and extra room. We need to fill it with pictures for my frenemies. Oh, she's so stupid, Yolanda. So Yolanda. Oh, good. I don't even know what to say. So Yolanda is trying to start shit about Lisa, but then doesn't want me fighting at the party. It's like, well, which do you, what do you want? I know. You're the one who's starting it. Exactly. And then she goes into this big echo chamber to talk shit about people. It's like this room made out of tile and it echoes and the whole party can hear it. And she's like, and she also, yeah. Let's talk about Carlton and Kaya. Well, she also snaps at Lisa about, because Lisa is telling Carlton, like, telling Carlton to go make up with Kaya. And she snaps at Lisa for doing that. And then while Yolanda's been the one all season, who's been the biggest advocate of, like, we need to admit it in the budge. Now is the time when we admit it in the budge, you know, like, like, that's like, you know, she's the biggest one who would be the, and anyone else's party should be the big proponent of doing that. Yeah, she's an asshole. So basically this is the, you know, the episode right before they all go after Lisa. So I'm really interested to see that just to see how they phrase their issues, because last night the editors were like, basically, like, here's what you need in case you don't understand why everyone hates Lisa. And they edited together all these horrible things that Lisa has done, which were all nothing, like, more horrible at all. Like, she asked Kim when Kim got out of rehab and came to the first dinner, like, how are you feeling? Are you okay? Like, are you, are you feeling strong? Do you feel like you can relapse? Yeah, is that really mean? Yeah, it's not. And Kim was like, wow, maybe, like, maybe it's like a sense of time for me. I don't want to discuss it. It's like, Kim, did you learn anything from rehab? Isn't the whole point of rehab is that you, like, you apologize to everyone and you, like, are supposed to be understanding and you're supposed to be sort of open about these things. And she was, I think Lisa was asking, like, a normal question that perhaps a friend would want to know the answers to that would maybe help inform them on how to act around you or what's appropriate for them to act to do or say it's so stupid that Kim would hold that against her. Kim really, you know, Kim has never been too bright, but she's really showing what a vindictive little bit she is. Like, lady, this woman has done nothing to you. Why do you need, what do you, what is your end goal? That's what I don't understand with all these women. Like, Kyle, what is your end goal? So you're going to get rid of Lisa, okay? So let's say that you get your wish and Lisa quits. What are you going to do? No one's going to want to just watch you fucking fake play basketball. Yeah. You know, pretend your husband's not cheating on you and try not to gain 100 pounds. Like, that's not interesting, Kyle. Yeah. I wish that they had ways to tell on DVRs who scenes are being fast forwarded through. I know that they're maybe in time they will be able to. I'll tell you who scenes I would fast forward through would be anytime that Yolanda and David Foster are being lovey lovey. I mean, it's just it's so annoying and the way they sort of like act with like Mohammed that they it feels like this very self aware like we're the cool modern trio of people who just sort of understand relationships. It's almost like wanting to be like they almost seem like they want to be in a Woody Allen movie, you know. I think they're so fucking phony. I don't buy one second of that, especially when he's like, well, you know, a woman is supposed to take care of the house and she does. And she's like, oh, I'm just here to live for my man. You know what? No, that is not going to work. This is the modern era. I don't buy it for one second. Or how about when David Foster like gives like a bro hug to whatever kunash or whatever the house manager Mohammed's house manager. What's up, bro, like fist bomb, it's a kunal or whatever. It just it seems so fake to me. That reminds me, Yolanda made a comment like, well, I can see why Brandi is mad at Lisa because Lisa is friends with the girl who cheated with Eddie Cibrian and I would not have that girl in my close circle. And I'm like, you're you're married to your best, your husband's best friend, bitch. Like, get off your high horse. Yeah, like where? But since when do you have such a fucking high moral bar? And I'm sure there was, and I'm sure there was someone before Yolanda in Mohammed's life. Yeah, Joanna Crouper for one. Oh, yeah, JJ. Like, come on, give me a break. They're all. I love when they try and play morals. It's like, you've got how many children from how many different fathers like, come on, get over yourself. You're white trash with money, honey. Mm hmm. Yeah. Um, what else? Oh, well, what do you think about that? Because you might, you know, Yolanda's a fucking fuckwad, but I do, I do see what she means kind of about how that would be annoying to Brandi, but she doesn't work there way before Brandi came in the picture. Look, my feeling on it is the same. If it were me, I would not have Brandi Shino working the event, but if I were a producer on these shows. I mean, in general, because she's saying, she's saying Brandi's mad that Lisa's close with Shina at all, and that that's not cool. But she knew Shina first, so it doesn't, it doesn't even matter, like, the fire somebody for something they did a long time ago. Like, you can't, you can't do that. Like, thanks for working here for three years. You're fired, though, because I'm friends now with somebody who's husband. You know, my feeling is this when, when Brandi is like, you know, Lisa, I found out from a very good source that Lisa knew that she was Brett was Eddie's mistress all along. Like, so what, like, how does that change anything? Like, I don't care. Yeah, maybe you're like, your husband was on board. Okay, and Shina saying, okay, this was seven years ago. Well, how old is Shina? I don't know. Does anybody know how old her makeup is? Her makeup would indicate that she's perhaps 45, but her maturity would say perhaps. Let me see. She was born in 1985, so she's 30, I mean, she's 28, so that would have made her, so basically your husband was fucking a 20 year old, 21 year old. Ben, let's talk about article. I just moved into a new house and it is really hard to find quality furniture that, honestly, I can afford without feeling terribly guilty. I found the most beautiful stuff on article. I got three bar stools for this bar I built and they are gorgeous. They're mid-century modern brown leather seats, just beautiful, and not only are they great, but they brought them over and they put them together. It was white glove service from beginning to that was my experience with them too. I mean, the truth is that article believes in delightful design for every home and thanks to their online only model, they have some really delightful prices too. Their curated assortment of mid-century modern, coastal, industrial, scandy, and boho designs make furniture shopping simple. Articles team of designers are all about finding the perfect balance between style, quality, and price, and they're dedicated to thoughtful craftsmanship that stands the test of time and looks good doing it. Article offers fast, affordable shipping across the US and Canada, plus they won't leave you waiting around. You pick the delivery time and they'll send you updates every step of the way. This is very true. An article's knowledgeable customer care team is there when you need them to make sure your experience is smooth and stress-free. Article is offering our listeners $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. To claim, visit article.com/crapins and the discount will be automatically applied at checkout. That's article.com/crapins for $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. Is it just me or has TV gotten really complicated? Thankfully, Fylo has changed that for me. One service, all the stuff I need. Did you know that Fylo is the most affordable service to watch the Yellowstone live and in season? Tune into the season premiere of season 5B on November 10th at 8/7 Central on the Paramount Network, by the way. Fylos got current seasons of the shows I just can't miss live on networks like A&E, MTV, Discovery, and TLC. Classics like The Office, Martin, and Friends that I never get sick of and all the incredible originals on AMC+ from Mad Men Hello to Orphan Black. And don't forget their library of more than 75,000 movies and shows, all of which I can save and rewatch any time for a whole year. Never miss a minute of shows like The Golden Girls. You know I'm always watching The Golden Girls and Fylo has it. Best of all, with Fylo, you get all of this for just $28 a month. No contract, no hassles. Just one subscription and a world of entertainment. So go to Fylo.tv and check it out for a free seven day trial. That's P-H-I-L-O.TV to start watching. Listen, Brandi's just looking for an excuse. She's looking for an excuse for, you know, and what I also like is that Brandi made some simpering remarks about like Kyle getting her job. Kyle getting her daily phone call from Lisa or chatting on the phone. Which would seem to indicate that she's upset that she doesn't get her daily phone call anymore. But at the same time, then she doesn't talk to her at the party. I mean, what do you want? Do you want to like not talk to this person or do you want to talk to this person? What do you want, Brandi? She just wants to be able to talk to her so she can keep spreading shit about her. And according to Lisa, she's the one who is being ignored. So I don't know, whatever, too much about this. I'm so sick of fucking hearing about this. And next week, you're making old lady cry. So congratulations! Congratulations. Like just go piss on the entire cast of Cacoon. Like you don't do that. Not nice. Should we move on to Vanderpump Rules Reunion? No, this was just so much fun. I watched the first half last night and then I fell asleep and then I watched the second half today. I can't remember too much, but I just know that I just watched it right before this. So I think I'm still laughing. So my favorite part, if I can remember correctly, was the top of the episode. And Kristin has stormed off and now like all of a sudden Stasi is under fire, I think. Or she knows talking or people are talking about something completely different. And then Kristin stomps back in like a third grader. And then she interrupts whatever they're talking about and she just sees the Zet Tom and Ariana. She's like seriously, seriously. Like are you, you should not be doing that right now. And you should not be doing that. Like if I'm gonna stay out here, you need to stop doing that. AKA like them holding hands. And they're all over each other. They're all over each other. Like we're just holding hands. Seriously, seriously, seriously respect. I deserve respect. So stupid. I love that she deserves respect. Yeah. Why? What have you ever done that you would think that you would deserve respect from anybody? Like you don't even deserve to have the MS put before your name on a letter. Like you're the worst. You're officially the worst. She is so dumb. And she, the lies that she tells herself are so hilarious. Like when she, when she actually managed to say while crying that she's so much happier now. Seriously, I'm like so much happier now. Seriously, seriously. She's so stupid. Okay. Andy, and I love that Andy gets on moral with them too. Like you're, it's like he's basically Satan. And he's like, well, don't you feel bad? But he was saying, well, don't you, you know, how do you feel when you were swearing on your family's lives that you didn't sleep with Jacks? And then it cuts to her being like, I swear on my sister, on my nieces, on my brother, on my mother, on my father. And they're like, on all your family? And she's like, yeah, my grandma, my grandpa, my great aunts. And then they come back there and she's like, yeah, you know, it was so embarrassing. Because I was watching that episode with my family. Why would you watch that episode with my family? Why, why would you watch anything with it? Why would you even let your family know you were on this show? You should have just told them, oh, this show got canceled. I'm not going to be on TV ever again. You're having viewing parties with your family when you've been fucking some guy that everybody knows has like tons of STDs. You're fucking over your boyfriend who your family all knows and probably loves. What are you watching that with your family for? Oh my gosh. Her mom's like, seriously, seriously. Her dad's like, seriously, Christian, seriously. Her mom's like, ehhh, seriously? Her dog's like, woof, seriously, woof, woof, seriously. Seriously? Seriously? Or someone at the door, seriously? Her doorbell is also Mickey Mouse voice. So, but like 80% of this was this Christian thing, which I was like poor Stasi or Stasi. Sorry, I got tweeted at that it's Stasi, not Stasi, but I refuse to give that bitch any sort of... What do you call that when there's like a little character above a word that tells you to announce that part louder? What am I trying to say? This is stress. Stress is, but what do you call... Oh my God. Anyway, I refuse to give her... Swat? Swat? I'm so stupid today. I'm sorry, I smoked pot yesterday. But I'm not going to make it classy, okay? Her name is Stasi to me, and it will stay Stasi. Okay, classy Stasi. Yeah, let's say there's one thing that rhymes with classy, it's Stasi. And Asi. I will continue to call her Stasi, because it sounds like the German secret police. And I... Okay, so here's one impression I took away from this. I loved that the whole thing was about what a victim Tom is. Yeah. When it's basically been admitted that Tom's cheated on her like a zillion times. It wasn't just some prostitute in Vegas, it was like a lot apparently. Yeah, I love how that conveniently gets lost in the shuffle. That he like banged multiple waitresses in Vegas. And somehow he's like the innocent soul in all this. And he is just playing up that victim card. To be fair, he is very dumb. And he probably thought that somehow banging those waitresses would bring him and Kristen together. Yeah, it's like, well, maybe... It's like, I did it for you. I did it for you, Kristen. Come on. I banged them. I banged them for you. Why don't you... Why don't you see the... I banged them for you, Kristen? Oh, oh. Another thing was, okay, we know... I think I brought this up last week, but I don't know if I did or not, but I still want an answer. Okay, so horseface number two gets wasted and says, oh, well, horseface number one slept with the jacks. Yeah. So then the next day when she's sober, she's sobbing and apologizing and saying, I don't... You know, I'm really sorry that I caused trouble. I really am so sorry. I know you hate me. I hate me. You can't hate me more than I hate myself. Why isn't anybody confronted horseface number two about not telling Stasi that Kristen had fucked jacks? Why is she getting off scot-free? I think... Well, she already was confronted about it and she said, you know, I just... I didn't put any wait-ins to it. I never thought much of it, but now she's like, but now I do. I don't know. She was confronted. I missed that part. Yeah, that was a few episodes ago. Now, not on the reunion, but like she was confronted about her turdiness. I personally loved when Tom started railing on... I'm not, you know, on Stasi. And basically saying like, attacking her for having a huge amount of shodden for it through this entire thing about how she was sort of almost smile with the chance to ambush Tom and Kristen. Now Stasi, all of a sudden, plays innocent and starts to cry and then... Well, they cry. I mean, Stasi can't even fucking cry. I mean, she's terrible. Well, no tears, no snot, nothing. Yeah. Well, the best is that she totally did the kindergartener thing where she stood for matricious. And then just walked off. Yeah. 'Cause she takes fucking cry so she had to walk off to pretend to cry stupid. That was such... Like, I love how she's shocked. She's shocked that anyone would ever say this to her. That like, "Wow, Stasi, you seem to take a great amount of joy in watching other people suffer." When basically she says that in her confessionals, I mean... She does. She relishes the fact that she relishes the fact that she's the villain. And she relishes the fact that she got so much attention from it in season one. And everybody hates her. And she's made comments about that on the show that everybody hates her. And so she was even worse in season two. Yeah. And now she's going to cry about it. Yeah. But isn't that always how it works? You know, the bully is always the first one to cry when you hit him back. Yeah. Yeah. And I know because I cried many times when people hit me back. It really hurts. You know, not expecting it. And then boom, you've got a bloody nose. Yeah. Why? That's exactly what happened to Stasi. She had a metaphorical bloody nose. I also really liked when, during that time when Kristin had stomped off the set. When Shino was like, suddenly it became about Shino. She's like, "Yeah." She's like, "Yeah." It's like, "I'm such a good person. I'm such a good person. I try to be there for her." And she just walks off and like, "How can I be even more of a good person than I am right now?" I was like, "Shut up, Shino. Stop congratulating her." I like when Abby was like, "So, you know, Kristin, what do you think about, you know, Tom and Pregnating and Alien or whatever?" She's like, "You know what it is for me being in between all this?" No one asked you, "Okay, this is not your question. Shino." All right? That's my name. That's my name. I'm Azusa. I just want to go back to Azusa and get more hummingbird tattoos in my mom. I like what she told Stasi. You saw me fall down. You saw me. You saw me fine. You saw me bleed. And you couldn't even text me. What does Stasi say? She's like, "What? Well, I mean, honestly, I don't even think she on my answer. It was really fun to watch Stasi through this whole thing because poor things hair is so terrible now. She looks ten years older. Yeah. She's got like bad Madonna hair. And I liked how Shino did dress down Stasi for the whole thing. She's like, "I don't give a shit about what you think because when you didn't come see me or even text me to see how my teeth were doing, it showed that you didn't give a shit about me. So I don't give a shit about you." I was like, "Good. Good Shino. Do that. Say that to Stasi." Well, yeah, because Stasi is like, "How could you do that to me? We're supposed to be friends." It's like, "Okay. Everyone you're supposedly friends with, you screwed over purposely." Yeah. Over and over again. Like, she throws every, but she's just like, "Well, we're not friends anymore." Like, last year when she just didn't want to be friends with horse faces anymore. Yeah. You know? And then she was me, the Shino, the second she was friends with them again. Yeah. She is terrible. She is so terrible. I know. Well, Shino had it right last week when she said that Stasi is type of girl. They just can't have a lot of other girlfriends. Right? Didn't she say that? Yeah. Or that's just what I dreamt. Yeah. She did. But I did get kind of a different take on Stasi this time because now that we've seen what a loser jacks is, I mean, we kind of knew he was kind of a loser. But I used to think, "Oh, he's just hot. He's a nice dumb guy." But he's such a douchebag idiot loser. He's awful. He's horrible. He's a sociopath, narcissist. He's terrible. I mean, I think that's why we ultimately feel bad for Tom because of all these people, Tom really seems to show true remorse for things that he's done. Like, when he has aired, he has, it seems like he has tried to make things right and he has been humble about it. Whereas Kristin, when she went off the straight narrow, she was obnoxious and she projected on to Tom and Jax showed no remorse since Stasi's just Stasi. And when you see Tom sitting there being like, "We were bros, man. Like, we were roommates, man. We had so many fun times, man." And like... All the time that we spent together, when we all lived together, does that not mean anything to you? Like, he feels nothing, man. He feels nothing. How will it fix me? My tooth is great. Like, like, I'm sorry, Shina, but like, Jax is the one who you speak to, he doesn't feel anything. We were roommates. But I feel things and I felt things the time that my tooth got pushed out. Seriously? We all have teeth? Seriously? Seriously? I'm trying to be your friend, man. I'm trying to be your friend. Good job. Seriously. No, but like, when I loved when like everyone was basically piling on Jax, like, do you feel anything? Do you feel anything at all? And he's like, "Oh, I mean, like, on some level, on some level." No. On some level. No. I mean, I'm trying. I'm trying to go to therapy. I know. Yeah, I like that. I'm trying to... What is that? What do you mean you're trying to go to therapy? Are you going to therapy? What does that mean? He probably thinks therapy is a new bar in Hollywood. I think he is actually a bar in LA called therapy, but he's trying to go to therapy. He can't even keep a story straight. Yeah, about why he was arrested. Everything he said this night was a lie. Like he can't even remember what lies he told, even though they've been on TV. I mean, that guy is obviously like a co-cat or something's going on with him, but... And he also thinks it's like somehow charming that he's been to jail so many times. He's like, "Oh, yeah, I've been there so many times." It's not fun, but you know, I've been there. It's like, that's not something you just sort of say with a wink and a nudge or maybe 20 years down the line. Yeah. It's like when your friend who's 40 is like, "Oh my God, last night I got so wasted." And you're like, "You're an alcoholic because we're 40." You know? Well, not weak because you're not. I'm not either. Thank God. Not yet. Not yet, damn it. I'm holding on. But Jack's also another thing about that, and he's like, "Well, yeah, so you were like in an orange jumpsuit." And he's like, "Yeah, you do not wear an orange jumpsuit in like county lockup either." No, he said blue. He changed it. He said the... He's like, "Actually blue." Oh, okay. Yeah. I thought in county lockup it's just like jail, not prison. I don't know. I don't know. I don't think you have to wear like a full suit. I haven't been yet, but I'll sure be bragging about it on this show when I do. Yeah. I have to say that. One thing that I loved about this reunion, and last week too, were all the cutaway shots of Jack's listening/trying to process the words he was hearing, like his mouth like half a gape, eyes blank, head cocked like a dog wondering why like the door doesn't open all this time. Yeah. That guy's a fucking moron. So, okay. Here's the thing. What I was going to say is I kind of feel for Stasi in a way, because her issues are so deep that she spent so much time knowing that he's that person, like how insecurity do you have to be to spend your life with somebody like that? I mean, that's bad. I mean, Bravo, generally you have to have daddy issues to be on Bravo. Yeah. Everybody who's on a Bravo show has daddy issues. Every single person, there's not one person that you can name on Bravo who doesn't have daddy issues. And if you can name them, it's probably someone we really like and don't count like Lisa. Yeah. I doubt she has daddy issues. I feel like she is married to a grandpa that's still not. That's true. I don't feel like Stasi, I don't feel like she has daddy issues. I feel like she has like human being issues. Like she just, she just doesn't have any way to possibly relate properly to any human. Well, she has daddy issues, but it's that her daddy was a horrible human being. And so is she. Maybe this is all came from the amazing race. Maybe she was so traumatized from being eliminated in New Orleans on the New Orleans leg. Thank you, Turn with my bear growing my life. I'll still always remember her and her dad and the other two Schroeders on the four person bicycle going down, going down the Talladega Speedway or something like that and like her complaining the entire time. If only had to realize this was this was like the birth of a awful awful reality star that I would soon come back into my life seven years later. Nice to everybody because you never know who's going to be an awful Bravo star in the future. Yeah. So what else from this show? I can't quite remember. I did again. I liked how like Lisa was bagging on on Jax and it is hilarious how she insists the reason why she keeps them all around is because there's like a family dynamic. It's like no, it's because the producers are making you keep them on staff. Yeah. And she acts like she she's she actually works there, which you know, she comes in every day and brings flowers and goes home. Yeah. She's like, well, you know, I have to schedule them at different times. I'm like, bitch, you are not sitting down marrying catch ups and writing a schedule. You know, you're not rolling silver. Shut up, Lisa. Yeah. But I love how Lisa is on this show where she's just telling everybody off and calling them out on every single little thing. She's like, you have no remorse. You're a terrible person. I like that. Tomorrow. Yeah. I see you tomorrow, darling. Keep your shirt off. Yeah. By the way, one thing I would not want my employees to be like would be to have no remorse because that means they will fuck up and not care. Well, you know what, she's in West Hollywood. They're bartenders. If they work out and shave their foreheads, they can keep their jobs. That's true. There's not very many qualifications. Yeah. That's why they have like 20 waiters on the floor for five tables. Have you ever been there? Yeah. So they've got like a staff of 20 people when there's like five tables because they're also inept. Yeah. They're like, okay, you five, you'll be taking table full. Well, I think I think I ventured on this podcast because I went last month for Lisa Timmons' birthday. We did happy hour there and excuse me, it was a sneeze. I'm like allergic to Vanderpump Rules gossip, but we were there and our friend Marcos kept on having to get up from the table to go fetch our things or drinks because no one was bringing them over to us and says he was wearing black and he was walking around with like multiple drinks and someone on the staff thought he actually worked and like asked him to bust a table. Oh my God. It was like Joe, but the country club on Arrested Development and then Kristin came out and fucked him. Yeah. So sorry. Sorry. I don't know. I'm sorry. I don't know. Like Marcos did he get laid? So sorry. I thought Marcos would be better at getting bread to the table if his dick wasn't full of stuff. So I emptied him for it. I did it for my job. Sorry. Slowed him down. Sorry. Seriously. Seriously. I owe you a condom, Tom. You're two of your condoms, Tom. I love how pop culture influences things like pretty woman has really changed so much in our life. Like, you know, they're saying, well, we didn't kiss, which that would have really made it worse. Like, what are you fucking pretty woman? Give me a break. Yeah. What does that matter? You don't kiss. Maybe. That doesn't even matter. Shut up. Yeah. And I like the way that Kristen also piled on to that because Jackson was like, yeah, I didn't kiss because I didn't want it to be because I thought it'd be, uh, it's more personal to kids. And she's like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Great. I totally agree. I'm being very serious. I'm being very serious about this. I'm being very seriously. I'm saying this seriously. Seriously? I'm being serious. So we're basically putting bander poop drools to bed. I'm so sad. It's oh, I wish, I wish Carlson could cast a spell much like the one she cast on Kyle's computer to resurrect this show immediately. Oh, we didn't bring that up. So no, we forgot you. That's my way of bringing it back. Yeah. So Carlton, uh, Kyle thinks Carlton's a witch because her screen saver was popping out all these words like, um, I'm here somewhere, race, which is a spirit, big it, um, what was the other one? Yeah. You know, you know, just a piss off PA, you decide to do this. Well, at this point, the producers are now just like fucking with these women. Like, oh, if you piss off Carlton, we're going to slip a roofie into your drink to make you sick or we're going to like change your screen saver. And I like how like, they know with Kyle, they have to do a change of screen saver to get her totally spooked, like they're like with Joyce. Okay. She's probably seeing things in Puerto Rico. We got to go heavy with Joyce. Kyle. We're going to change up the mouse pad. Kyle's like, it's so weird. I've always had this sponge bob mouse pad that I got from free from an event. And now the mouse pad that's there, it's from Starbucks. I don't get it. I have a mouse pad with, you know, a slave driver on it. It's like, shut off big and stupid, like a witch burning on it. I would like to see, I would like to see more accusations come from mundane objects in Kyle's life, which is like my fax machine, which I haven't used in it. Years came to life and it facts out the word mean, but Kyle's favorite word, I'm surprised she hasn't used it that much of season. That's mean. Now that's mean. That's mean. Do we think that perhaps maybe Kyle actually wrote those things on her screen saver? Yeah. Although that also, that also applies, you know, I'll have to say that also implies that she knows how to change her screen saver. That's true. Never mind. It's probably Mauricio. He's like, maybe if she's busy, I can get out to Phil's. Is that like, hey, babe, I'm going to be on the computer for a second. Is that like gas lamp thing, whatever it was? What is it like? Gas lamp. We are gas lighting. Yeah. Gas lighting when you make someone think they're crazy. Yeah. Oh, my God. If someone gaslights Kyle Richards, that would be amazing. Well, they've done that to Kim her whole life. I honestly believe she's been gaslighting Kim her whole life. Yeah. She probably thought Witch Mountain is a real place for the first 30 years of her life. Okay. So let's move on to Atlanta speaking of gaslighting. So which one? Atlanta. Oh, Atlanta. Well, we got another candy crying scene. Oh, yeah. You're breaking up with me, then you better tell John one and he's going to go in on you. See, John is always ready to cut a bitch. Like he could be at Disneyland and he's ready to shank somebody. He always looks so upset and so ready to tell somebody off. It's like, dude, what are you mad about? We're the audition. Like there's all you have to do is sit there. There's no reason to be this upset. He looks like, which one is the cat in Tom and Jerry? Tom, or is that Jerry? He looks like the cat. The cat is Tom, I believe. Tom. He looks like Tom, like when Tom's angry, because he can't get Jerry, that's what he looks like. He has like a cartoon kitty cat face, it's just like scallowing, you know. He just always looks like he should be a bobblehead with a finger that's always waving. Like, oh, no, you did. But you know what though? Let me tell you something. That was 100% always on Don Juan's side. I'm always like, yeah, he's right. Me too, me too, because he's the only critical thinker in the whole group of these dumb dogs I know. He's like, why are you putting on a musical when there's no script and you're doing it in 10 days and you're paying $40,000 for the, for the theater? He's like, right about it. She's like, see. I was thinking about having it at Riley's stage in the bedroom, but see now she's having her own performance there. So see, we got to rent out a theater. So we got to see Candy's audition process, which was hilarious because I don't know when they got a script, but somehow they had pages for Forza to read. And her lines were like, wow, y'all, I really love hot dogs. Like really, that's your play that is in your play. I would see that because you know what? I love hot dogs too, and I would totally identify. I love that Forza couldn't even remember it. She's like, hi, everybody. Oh, thank you so much for having me, your barbecue. I love that. Do I have to stay on the way? They're like, yeah. Stay to the script. Hot dog. Real hot dogs. No, what I loved is that at one point she starts like, she's saying something completely different. She's like, oh, you know, you want me to stay on script as if like she's going off script, like a, like a, like a talented improviser, not that you just mess up the lines. Yeah, they're like, okay, well, Pharaoh, okay, Kristen wig, you just do whatever you want. Let's see if it works. We'll just do multiple takes. Off script with Portia. I will say that it was pretty interesting that Portia's somewhat talented. Yeah. You know, I had to say, I thought she actually read the lines. Once you got them right, she was actually okay. And she was talking about hot dogs, but you know, and she redeemed herself with a singing. So good for you, Portia. Yeah. She could actually sing. So there you go. There you go. There you have it. I was happy. I was happy redemption in her life. If the rumors are true and she's fired, Candy is not going to be very happy because she was trying to cast someone with who could bring exposure. Well, I'm sure this production is going to air before the end of the season. Yeah. No way. You think so? Do they have that much time? Yes. So much time to put together a production. No, but haven't you been following that? They keep saying like, well, there's not a lot of time left, and you know what I have to say? I'm liking the cast. You got Eddie Laverte. You have some lady and who there was someone else on the cast. I was like, Oh, interesting, Jackie's mod in it. I don't care. It wasn't Jackie. There was someone. I was like, I feel like it was an 80s and 80s sitcom star and by the way, take it back to frozen. I noticed in the ending credits that Edie McClurge was one of the voices of frozen. I love Edie McClurge. Did you see that? Did you see she's in frozen? No. Who was she in it? I don't know, but I just want everyone to know that Mrs. Poole is still working and she's working with Disney. You know what's kind of shocking? She's kind of full of herself, that Edie McClurge. I did an improv show after her or before her because I came back and she was in the green room and she was like, Honey, do you know where the celebrity, like the celebrity parking is? And I was like, really bitch? No, Ronny D. You're fucking co-winga boulevard in Hollywood, okay? There is no celebrity parking. Dumb, dumb. No offense, Ronny. But right now, you're very Brindy Glanville because the cleric is a small wonder, okay? Just fucking loser. You can't take down the fave, okay, just to become the fave. Taking down. I want to be the next Edie McClurge. I'm going to take that bitch down. I'm going to call the girl from Small Wonder right now. Actually my favorite Edie McClurge, actually she didn't seem mean. She was just kind of full of herself, which I guess isn't a shot. But my favorite thing that she was in was that movie Elvira, Queen of the Dark, Queen of the Night. I love that movie. Yeah. Good job, Edie McClurge. You keep on entertaining us even with things from the past. Yeah. So anyway, I completely derailed the conversation there. The point is this musical is happening soon and there's one in the cast that I'm really excited about, but I can't remember who it is. So therefore, I'm made a totally unimportant observation. I am reading Facebook comments to see what people want to talk about here. Well, I'll talk, okay, while you read that, I'm going to talk about how really this episode is about Nini being ridiculous, okay? Nini's got to get over herself a little bit. So... A little bit. Oh my God. This goes to show you. You just are who you are. You can try to be whoever you want to be. You can read a self-help book and say, "I'm going to be this person. Listen, you can get a better job. You can get a nicer car. You can get a better boyfriend." But your ass is always going to be the same ass you was 10 years ago and Nini is walking proof of that. She just cannot help herself. She is just the biggest fucking asshole on any of these shows. She is so full of herself and no matter how hard she tries, that moose just keeps breaking out the gate and stopping everybody down. She cannot help herself. Absolutely. Because what happened was that Kenya decided to throw a masquerade ball and the proceeds of it were going to go towards one of Nini's favorite charities. It was Kenya's way of, it was really the first time I've ever seen fundraising used in a passive aggressive way. But at the same time fundraising is fundraising and whether she does it to be obnoxious or whether she does it to be nice, it doesn't matter because the money is going to the right place. Allegedly, although someone just posted on our page, it was Erica Pete's hierarchy that saving our daughters did not receive any money from Kenya Moore's charity event. Oopsies. Oh my god, really? Yeah. Well, that's not really much of a shot. So here's the thing. Kenya sends out an e-vite to this masquerade ball and by the way, what a way to really bring in the big bucks, then by sending out an e-vite to your donors. Right? You know, because if there's anything that old money does, it pays attention to e-vite. Well, you know what? I think that you can see who's opened it. I think that's how everybody should do everything now because I'm never going to send a paper invitation again. If I can see that your ass has opened it and not replied, I'm using e-vite for everything. Oh, it's been like that for years, like at least 10 years. It's been like that. I didn't know. I didn't know. I love it. Yeah. It's not right, including Nini or perhaps Nini's assistant or manager. And then Nini acted like she didn't know about it. So maybe she didn't know about it. Maybe her assistant did open it up. Which case the assistant should be receiving all the wrath, not Kenya, but Nini was like- Well, no, because Nini's even beyond that, she's saying this bitch should have called me and apologized and groveled, and if she's going to have a ball for me, I at least need to know what to wear. Yeah. You know, she wants to be thrown a proper ball. You know, like that's her thinking. She's like the Edie McClure of Atlanta. She's like, what's a celebrity party? What's a celebrity ball part now? Edie McClure is like, I didn't get the e-vite. Hey, neighbor, I didn't get the e-vite. But you know, I mean, to be fair, Kenya is not innocent, okay? Don't get it wrong. Don't get it twisted. Kenya should have reached out to Nini a little bit more aggressively. And furthermore, when the event finally did come, and Nini showed up with a Sarah Puss on her face, or with a Sarah Puss, I suppose you could say, Kenya, I totally put her on the spot was like, and now I want to have Nini come up here and say a few words. That is shady. Like you don't make someone speak at an event without warning them ahead of time, but I was laughing my ass up. I was like, ooh, Kenya, this is why Kenya is one of the highest paid housewives in only her second season. She's almost getting a million dollars a season, which is unheard of for your second season as being a housewife. It is because she knows how to play. I mean, she is bringing Nini down. Like Nini had that facade this whole season, and she pretty much kept it up until recently, even though she cracked a couple of times when she yelled at people, but she was kind of in the right. But Kenya knew how to break her down, and she broke her down. That was amazing. Like she made her lose it in front of a whole group of people on national TV in front of a charity. In front of one of her charities, which she then was like, one of many charities that I support, here's what Kenya did that was so impressive. She made me take Peter's side in an argument, okay? Because Peter basically went in on Nini, and it was like, you act like a fool. We got to go. Shit. We got to go, babe. Yeah, but why is Peter wanting to go? I want to go. That's what that here's what doesn't make any sense to me. Peter wants to leave, like wouldn't the logical thing to be to show some sort of solidarity for this charity, not to leave in the middle like, I can't say on Peter, I hate him. Well, I think he was saying he has to leave because he doesn't want to tell Nini off, because he knows that if you start something with Nini in a fundraiser that she's going to start screaming and yelling, which is what she would do, and go crazy on him and it would ruin the night. He's saying, just get me the fuck out of here. And also, I'm sure it was boring as hell. It looked like there were 10 people at that whole thing. I know. And no food. I didn't see any food. And I think that there was probably like Charles Barkley wine. That is cheap. That is a charity. Charles Shaw, too. Yeah. I wonder if, what's her face from, I wonder if Carrie from marriage medicine organized the party and got the wrong sort of cake, a sheet cake for the entire party. I don't appreciate how everybody stood around the pool during the party. Like, common whores. Oh my god. I've had a 30-year struggle with getting sheet cakes at parties. And Duncan does not appreciate a sheet cake at a party. So I brought my, I gave my sheet cake to Kenya Moore for her party. Well, you've heard the terrible news, right, that she got fired from marriage to medicine. Is that official? That seems crazy. Well, I know that Mariah said, because it's Mariah's show, she's a producer on the show. So stupid though, to get fired Carrie. So stupid to fire her. So stupid. Yeah. That is sad. Um, but this Kenya Moore thing, okay. So Nini loses it and acts like a total idiot when she's giving her speech. She gets up there and she's like, what does she even say? It was like two sentences. She says she goes, like, saving our daughters is one of many charities that I support. She goes, she goes, like, thank you very much, save our daughters, one of many charities that I support. And then just that, she just walks away. And then basically drops the mic and walks away. She goes, oh, no, first she goes, it's surprising how many friends I have that I don't even know about and save, save my saving our daughters is one of many charities. What does that mean? How many friends? I don't know about. Because the way, because Kenya is saying like she's her friend, whatever, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, whatever. It was such, it was so poor. It was like, fuck you, Nini. Just when I was starting to like you again. Yeah, she's, she's a horrible human being, but still funny. And I, you know, I'm really impressed because it looks like especially Beverly Hills. That show, I mean, those people who cast that show really fucked up this year. Joyce and Carlton are both awful. No one wants to know a damn thing about them. They're idiots, not, not one of them are truly as rich as they need to be to be on that show to, you know, to keep it as classy as it, well, I say classy with air quotes as it was. Um, I mean, they really fell down, but Atlanta does not fall down. When they have to make new casting decisions, I mean, those people know what they're doing. Phaedra, great. Mm hmm. She's trying to have to be great. And now she's going to be a criminal, which is even greater. And they finally found somebody who can bring down Nini, which is amazing because Nini is one of those people who wins every fight by being the loudest and talking over everybody. And that's how Kenya wins fights too. So I cannot wait to watch this, uh, play out, I think casting, you deserve a pat on the back. Yeah. I'm, I'm excited. This is the first time in a long time I've been excited to, uh, see how the season wraps up and we're, when are they going to go on vacation and where are they going to go? It seems like that's like, is that even going to happen? I feel like we're so deep down into the season vacations got to come up soon. Oh, cause like, yeah, I'm thinking they just went on vacation, but that was last season, which seems like it was just on, right? Yeah, they have not gone on vacation yet. I mean Beverly Hills is going to vacation, uh, this coming week and Beverly Hills in Atlanta, I think it premiered the same week, uh, yeah, they were like a week or two apart. Uh, yeah. And that's another thing about Beverly Hills. Kyle is cutting Carlton out of the group trip. Oh, yeah. That is. You know, it's good for her. Good for Kyle. Yeah. Good for her, but it's not really. It's not that Kyle, it's like Kyle's pretending it's her and Joyce's trip, but that is the cast trip that everybody is required to go on every year. So for her to cut Carlton out is basically just getting her fired. Yeah. But you know what though? This is, that's the bitchy Kyle we like. That's the bitchy Kyle that we want. So, and it is also, by the way, speaking manipulative, could there be anything more manipulative than, uh, having everyone on the trip except for Carlson? To get her kicked off the show. I mean, that's how, that's how Kyle works. She's like the biggest fucking puppet master. Of course, she's terrible at it, but it worked in this case because fire, Carlton did get fired. So, of course, I think she got fired more because of her old ass vagina talk than anything else. Yeah. And her with her stupid fake witch religion. Oh, but I love that Kyle was like, Oh, you know, don't you think that's anti-Semitic? I mean, her religion's stupid. I don't believe in that. Yeah. Really? Do you hear yourself? Okay. Seriously. Should we, I mean, what else happened on Atlanta? Well, you got a, you got a voicemail. Check your voicemail. I got a voicemail? Yeah, check it. Oh, I'm sure I did. Let me go check it right now. Hold on one second. Um, I'm pulling it up. I'm pulling up my voicemail. This is me vamping as I pull up my voicemail. Bloop. Bloop here. Here it comes. Here it comes. Bam. What you doing, what you think you doing, calling Crystal? I will tear your ass up. I will drown your ass down the street. That is wrong, man. You call Crystal, you lowdown heifer. Lowdown heifer. Lowdown. Mama Joyce. Will you marry me? Yeah. That was the best fucking thing I'd ever seen. You lowdown heifer. It almost tops that color purple line. You're just a big old heifer. It's like squeak is all grown up and she's turned into mama Joyce. I have to say, for me, I was going to say mama Joyce has turned into Angelica Houston from the grocers, you know, like a low-rend Angelica Houston, you know. She's like, she's not putting out hits on anyone, she's just trying to trap them. She does look like she was beat with a bag of oranges. I'll give her that. Yeah. I mean, she's. She, she is definitely up to some evil plans. She tried to trap Todd, tried to get someone named Benny to trap Todd is like with another lady and take pictures of it. It's, well, it's like, this is like Julie Cooper on the OC kind of shit that's going on. Yeah, this is really bad. I mean, she is really going off the deep and she's trying to get one of the friends to get pictures of Todd misbehaving so she can get them broken up. That is so, so wrong and gross. And poor Candy is still trying to stick up for her. She's like, she's like, she's like, you know, people will leave. She's like, see now people will leave, but mama will always be there. I'm like, Candy, no, mama is not there for you at all. In fact, you know, and you're actually pushing away the people who would be there for you forever. Yeah, your mom isn't there for you. The only time your mom is there for you is when you've changed the pin to her, you know, a lot of accounts. There's only one person that's going to be there for Candy and you know who it is? Riley. See now, Riley is here for me on our stage in a bedroom. See now. You are low down here. See now, mama, when you be the first man like that, like I thought you were over this mama. I thought we was over this mama. Yeah, I truly believe, you know, when you get married, your spouse wins. That's just how it is. Your family no longer gets to control you. You have a new person holding your nuts. And it's your spouse. Yeah. And that's it. Your mom loses. And frankly, if that was my mom, she'd be in a home and I'd cut her ass off as she actually liked that. In fact, that's already my plan of action. And my mom's going to have to do really nice things for me not to do that. How do you like that? My mom is going to have to pay for mama Joyce's mistakes is what I'm saying. Mama Joyce has ruined it from mother's everywhere. Yeah. My mother is not getting a cut of my unemployment checks until she does something nice for me. Never. So we're done now. That was great. That was great. That was great. That was great. That was a great voicemail. Oh, you know, I have another voicemail. Oh, OK. Keep that. Beep. Beep. Please. Gretchen. Shut up. Shut up. You're stupid. That's so funny. I don't know why Vicki left me a voicemail. Shut up. Gretchen. Stupid. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. I have a voicemail from Candy, believe it or not. Wait. Let me, let me listen to this voicemail from Candy. I say something about you, Nina. It's like, oh, she's different. You know what I mean? Oh, wait. Hold on. I have a voicemail coming in from Gretchen. Bloop. I was a prisoner, but now I'm free. How fun is that? You know, Persian people love to leave a voicemail, but like white people are like, text me. My crew, parties like no other crew ever crewed before. Listen, on your part, your crew parties, by getting fucking wasted in a hotel room, like every other fucking crew in the whole entire world. Exactly. You knocked down a door. Congratulations. Welcome to being 22 and in the Cancun. Your friend threw a plate on the ground. You guys are just too much, you crazy kids. We are, of course, talking about the Shah's of sunset season finale, where everyone, except for Lily, of course, went to Palm Springs to celebrate something or another. And Reza asked Adam to marry him, or as this is actually, I went, well, you marry me? I was like, you marry me? I mean, I know you're not into working out, but you can't even get on a knee. Like, you're going to sit at the fucking table and not even get on a knee. I come on, man, do this right, you lazy fuck, get on your damn knee. If you can't do it, do it in the living room or somewhere where you can kneel on a couch. I mean, Jesus Christ, make an effort, Adam's such a sucker. I know. He really is. He really is. So now I love it. I love that his, okay, this is Reza's reasons for wanting to get married. Well, you know, I wasn't sure, but, you know, he really puts up with me, and he listens to me. When I have problems, he takes care of me, and he gives me food, and there's always putting, and he's good with sliders, and he doesn't mind the hair on my back. It's like, is there anything about Adam that you like? Like is there any reason that you're in love with him that doesn't have to do with shit that he does for you? Like, he's basically marrying this guy because he's a sucker and we'll do anything Reza says. Like, that's so romantic. Well, one thing that I really like about Adam is that like, he sort of tastes like a dry cookie, and you know, Persians love a dry cookie. So like, that's a really cool thing about Adam. And then when I think about him, it reminds me that I really have to have work on the hospital because I need to be free. I need to be free. I need to be free. Oh, so, you know, I watch a show on protest. I fucking hate it, but so I haven't watched most of this season, but I always watch it like a week later because I get desperate because the good wife is not on right now. Like, my shows are still in repeats. That's my excuse. But anyway, I did watch last week's Shaza's Sunset, the last week they had in Turkey, I guess it was. Oh my God. Reza was hilarious in that episode trying to make all of Iran's problems his own. It's like, you know, there's people getting fucking murdered over there. And it's all about like, well, you know, we were so close to the border. And I thought if they knew they would kill me, I could die at any minute. I mean, we were on the ground that they could walk on. They could see me from the tower, they could have shot me from the town. It's like, dude, do you want to stand? What is going on around you that has nothing to fucking do with you? You narcissistic asshole, get out of here. Get out of this country. And he's like, I broke up with Iran. We were on a date. We were dating. And I was like, should I get back together with her? And then I was like, no, we broke up. And I'm like, and Iran, I'm sure is really fucking sad about that. Get out of here. Reza, you ain't old. I know. I think Iran actually made a better and better divorce. Iran got to keep the house, he got to keep the fish tank. I ran one. Yeah. Yeah, we'll give that one to Iran. Iran didn't gain 50 pounds after you broke up. I think that's an automatic lose. Yeah. Meanwhile, poor Lily, I mean, there's no way she can last on this show. You know, they gave her like a token five minutes, not even on the finale. And it was like this very sad scene of her ordering Chinese food. She's like, well, I'm home now and like, you know, I'm like, I have Chinese food and that's what we do. And I call food for nutter butter, flutter, gutter for some Google grandpa. That's hilarious, they show her walking into her apartment all alone and her dog is running around in circles like her little retarded dog. I'm sorry. People don't like that word. Her little circle-tarded dog running around in circles and she's like, I thought it was the food nutter butter, slatter daughters. It's like sad music playing while we watch Lily eat by herself. I know. And the truth is that she probably has it best. She's like, yes. And then she got back to those horrible heathens like throwing up all over each other and like MJ's saggy tits like really, and who's the loser here? Why is this sad music playing? It should be like, it's like, yes, I would rather, I would rather be eating Chinese food from wherever she ordered it from than to be sitting around the table listening to Mike condescending to me about who knows what. Yeah. Or Reza making it all about him. I knew he Chinese food once and it was mad at me because I was gay. So I broke up with it. No, I'm free. Like this, like the Chinese food that Lily is eating is like, it's like so amazing because like home, home boy, like home boy can't eat Chinese food. Like I can't do that. So for Lily to eat the Chinese food is almost like an insult to me. So that's how I feel about it. I don't know. Yeah. She basically made her own bed when she decided that she wasn't going to get back together with the group. I mean, she made the decision. We saw her make it, but I don't know. She was bad casting in the first place. All these people actually knew each other. Yeah. And it's almost like after season one, they were like, okay, listen, Ryan, see crest. Your show did okay, but everyone on it's basically ugly. So get someone with some big tits so people will watch this shot. And he's like, okay, you know, I know some Persian with big tits. And so they hired Lily. It's like, how does this make any sense? Yeah. And you know, the reason the reason that Lily's probably doesn't care about any of this is because she's used the show for what she needs it, which is to needs it for, which is to rate her profile and to hang in celebrity circles. Because if you follow her Instagram or anything, you see she hangs out with all sorts of like random D level celebrities, like the kind that are like above Chaza sunset. So she's got what she needs out of it. She's, she's fine. I even just saw someone posted a picture of her from a magazine, like a glamour shot sort of thing. She's doing, she's in magazines, even if they're small magazines, she's in them. She doesn't need these fools. Yeah. She's going to be paid to go to events. And that's basically why you do a brothel show. Yeah. And I don't know. I actually like Lily a lot. So I'm sort of bummed to see her marginalized so much. But who knows? Maybe she'll get feisty on the reunion. Well, it's like they did it on purpose. They cast this kind of bimboish girl so she could get eaten alive in this group, you know, and that's exactly what happened. And she was, you know, you got to hand it to her that she's at least mature enough to be like, why would I hang out with people who hate me and whore me into me? Like that doesn't make any sense. And I have to say I had this awful thought. I think it would happen maybe during the Vanderpump Rules Reunion where someone said something like, nobody likes you. I think she said it's Ariana. I think Kristen said it's Ariana like, nobody likes you. And then everyone was like, no, everyone likes Ariana. Everyone likes that. I was like, you know what? Even the Vanderpump Rules kids know how to defend a friend and the Shahs did not. Yeah. And I love that Reza's whole thing was well, you know, after the reunion, you never even called me. You never even made an effort. She's like, uh, yeah, because you guys said that you weren't my friends. Like, yeah, why would I call you like, yeah, why would she call? Yeah. Exactly. That's so stupid. He's so stupid. Yeah, that was pretty stupid. That guy's ridiculous and they're going to be, I'm sure picked up and be back again. They do. They do really well. But that show, I hope that they bring back Sasha, at least for the reunion. This is America. This is the reunion. Sit down, shut up, let's get me out of bankruptcy. He's only paying for that. So crazy. I know. Thomas Kramer, for everyone who's wondering what the hell we're doing. So we need to decide what so we are going to watch because what about what about blood sweat and heels? Oh my God. There's no more. Jesus. Bravo. We don't even need a new show. But I was going to say, we have to watch that southern drum show because I'm watching it. Please. Okay, fine. I'll watch it, but I'm also watching blood sweat and heels. We won't get into it today. We can get into it. I watched it. Well, why not? Okay. So who's side of you on? Micah or Brie? Mica always acted like an asshole. She needs to take responsibility for being drunk, Brie, even though she's correct, Brie saying, well, if my parents died, it would be different because my parents and I have a relationship and she didn't even have a relationship with her father. That is not cool. She's right that Micah is totally using that as an excuse for her bad behavior. And she is also right that Micah jetted out of that relationship and only tried to mend it to be back on TV, which is also true. But to say that out loud, like I'm a horrible human being and I can say it, I'm not one of her friends. Like, what a horrible thing to say. That was just not nice. Yeah. And then she turned on her friend. And if your friend was an alcoholic, I'm sure she didn't just start drinking. So you've accepted this for years, but now you're with these heifers who think that they're so smart and you're totally falling for it. And those girls are just horrible. Yeah, I can't decide if I love Brie or hate Brie because on the one hand, she is a this like prissy spoiled brat of a girl who like talks about how her family comes from old money and has ties to the community, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And it's like, I want to hate her for that, but then I also kind of want to love her for that, you know? I think that. And I of course love Micah. I think that you're right. I think that Micah did this. Oh, Brie in apology because she did come into that place like a drunk mess. She did. She was a drunk mess. And even if she did say, I wanted to come in there and have fun, you still came in wasted and made people wait for you. And that is you should apologize for that. Brie should apologize for being cold and for being unsympathetic to the situation and for being like a prissy bitch about it. Yeah, I just wish sometimes they use it like, oh, well, you, you were so mean to me. My father died. They didn't know that your father died. And it's like you're bringing, you know, she's using that as an excuse. She is obviously a drunk, you know, she should have been told off the second she went to that girl's work party and was like flapping her JJ and screaming and shit like that needed to be addressed then. I don't know if it's like you're an alcoholic and we're not because first of all, if you do have a friend who's an alcoholic, you, the worst thing to do is be like, you're an alcoholic and then treat them like crap and not talk to them. Who does that? Yeah. Well, you know, it's like the, it's an attempt at tough love, I think. Oh, what they have no love. And that Demetria is so full of herself. I'm like, bitch, you're again, I've said it before and I'll say it again. You have a blog. Sit the fuck down. Okay. You have not won the Pulitzer. Yeah. Like, seriously, like, who do you think you are and she's like, this is my mentor and I've got all these books, I've got three book deals, really, you're writing three books at one time. You know what? I'm writing a screenplay and 10 books and I'm inventing a video game. So that makes me better than everybody else. No, bitch. You were not published. You did not get the brag about being an author. Well, actually she is published, but like, you don't have some bestseller that you can act like fucking Mary Higgins Clark. Okay. Calm down over there. Sydney Sheldon. Oh God. You know, by the way, I would like to say I would love to play any video game that you create, Ronnie, it'll basically be like Lisa manipulating people. So be sobering cookies to people's house and then we'll watch them shooter in the head. Oh God. It's going to be fun. Fun game. Fun times. All right. Not much happened on that show except for that fight and, you know, I don't know, Mike is a drunk and Breeze a bad friend and those two heifers, Wesley Snipes and Demetria, really need to tone it down a little bit. Yeah. And then Daisy, you know, Daisy, or Dale King, you want to talk about daddy issues? Yeah. Oh, well, you know, I'm so glad I'm so close to my dad and then her dad standing up like I pray for my daughter. Like, didn't we just hear that you abandoned your daughter until she was an adult and now she is like doing her best to win your approval? That is the saddest fucking thing I've ever heard and for her to sit there and try and like keep it together to pretend that this is like her dream come true. Oh, it's just another bravo daddy issue story, bravo daddy issues. The love affair continues. Yes. The love affair with my father. It never liked me. All right. Well, let's wrap this up. This was a very fun spirited podcast. If I do say so myself, it was a long one. Holy geez. I know. 30 minutes. Y'all are plus a 10 minute, serious barriers commercial. Where did this come from? Where? Plus a rant about Tom Morrow. I mean, this is really out of control. The only thing missing was a song. I think the Tom. No, I sang. I think that Tom Morrow thing. I think that Tom Morrow thing really set us off. That's it. That got the tone just right for this. It's never how you should start a podcast. I don't know. I kind of liked it. It got me like amped up. Ready to go. It got me fired up. It got me like made me feel like eating the clerk going through the regular people's entrance. Okay everybody. Thank you so much for listening. You can find us on Facebook at facebook.com/watch what Crap-ins and on Twitter at what Crap-ins find B-side at all of his social media networks at B-side blog, and you can find his blog at B-sideblog.com and what were you going to say? I was going to say, and if you want to see my celebrity name dropping things, you can go onto my Instagram and see my latest photo, which is very celebrity name dropping. Oh, okay. And that's Instagram.com/b-sideblog. Yes. And I'm Ronny. You can find me at trashtalktv.com. There's a bunch of really talented recapers over there making funny recaps. I write real house loads of Beverly Hills recaps, every Monday, I'm reading them, and I don't care if you follow me anywhere because I don't really do that stuff anyway. Okay. Thanks so much everybody. Talk later. Bye your share his berries. Bye. Bye. Bye. If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the internet. The folks behind the sideshow network of launch the new YouTube channel called "Wait for it." It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza Schleisinger, Slicing Driving Friends with it for 10 years, one of the funniest people out there, and I still have a hard time with the last name, Liza. Our very own Owen Benjamin, that's me, takes you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes and much more. You don't have to wait any longer. Just go to youtube.com/waitfortcomedy. There's no need to wait for it anymore because it's here and it's funny and I love you. On Monday, Josh Liebarger made his status, "Pace of the Mondays," followed by a frowny face. It got one like in five comments, including "dislike." Well Josh, Geico also wants to make a comment. To turn that emoji's frown upside down, in just 15 minutes you could save hundreds of dollars on your car insurance by switching to Geico. With all that extra dough, why not give Monday a makeover? We see an office party in your future. Hosted by you! #happyface #savings Geico. 15 minutes could save you 15 percent or more on car insurance. If you like Watch what Crap is, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com/survey. There's nothing worse than getting home from your trip, only to find out you missed a can't miss travel experience. That's why you need Viator, book guided tours, activities, excursions, and more in one place. To make your trip truly unregrettable, Viator makes it easy to explore over 300,000 travel experiences, everything from simple tours to extreme adventures, and all the niche interesting stuff in between. So you can plan something that everyone you're traveling with will enjoy. Real traveler reviews give the inside scoop from people who have already been on the experience you're considering so you can plan with confidence. Free cancellation helps you plan for the unexpected, and 24/7 customer service means you always have support around the clock. Download the Viator app now to use code Viator10 for 10% off your first booking in the app. Regretless, do more with Viator.
