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Hey guys, we're doing a really cool giveaway. It involves GoDaddy.com, our favorite sponsor, because you all know if you go to GoDaddy.com and use the promo code Crapids on checkoutwithanew.com, it only costs you about $2, which is a crazy amount of savings. Well guess what? If you make a URL that pertains to Bravo or something really funny that we'd like on Watch For Crapids, and you post it on our Facebook page, facebook.com/watchforcrapids. If we like it, you will win and we will create your website for you just to give us the URL and they'll build it for you. It sounds like a really fun thing, don't you think? I think you should do it. [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] Hey everyone, welcome to Watch What Crapids a Podcast About All That Crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker from BsideBlog.com, and joining me as always is my lovely co-host, Mr. Ronnie Karam. Hi Ronnie. Well hello, Benjamin. Well hello, Ronnie. Ronnie is from trashtalktv.com. You can find him on Twitter at trashtweettv. You can find me at BsideBlog and I'm also on Instagram and all that fun stuff. Please follow us because we suffer from severe, low self-esteem and we can only feel better if you follow us. Otherwise, we might just like her ourselves from our buildings and no one wants that. Do you want that? Do you want that person out there in the void? Do you want to kill us? Do you want to kill us? You should follow us on Twitter and make us feel alive. Actually, what you should really do most importantly is follow us on Facebook, facebook.com/watchworkrapins. We have a great Facebook page with a lot of the listeners congregate there. They share gossip, they share photos and links and all sorts of good stuff. Really, really fun. We have over 2,000 people. We want to get to have 10,000. So do your part people. Do your part. So that's the fun stuff and of course you can subscribe to us on iTunes, subscribe to us on Stitcher and on SoundCloud. Just do a little search for Watch What Crapins and your life will be like thoroughly enhanced and made better. Don't you think? I think that that sounds like a great idea everybody. It's great idea. 2014 is something new. There's too much to boast about. There is. Follow us on Twitter, follow us on the Facebook, follow us on the internet, come on the internet where we are. So anyway, okay, so we have a lot to discuss this episode. And later on Katie Kazorla, our friend Katie Kazorla will be joining us. But first we have just like oodles and oodles of gossip this week from the realms of bravo. So I think the big thing is that Phaedra Parks' husband Apollo is now going to try to rival Joe Judas for most like federal crimes or something like that. He has been arrested, I believe, for bank fraud and identity theft. Did you read about this wrong? Oh yeah, he's in some big trouble. Okay, so do you guys remember? I think we talked about it on the podcast. We didn't play any audio from it, but I was watching some random video on, I think it was like Ebony. It was something. As one does. Yeah, someone posted on her Facebook page, just video. And it was this interviewer in her living room, which is very professional. It was like an interview done by us. You know, we're like, here's a coke machine, that's settled down right here for this very important interview. But she was interviewing someone named Angela Stanton. I believe this is correct. I believe this is, I'm looking to separate that. Angela Stanton. If you're coming to a podcast, please. Because I can't remember if she was going off about Nini or Phaedra. Oh yeah, yeah, she was talking about the fall. Okay, so I'm watching this thing. And she was basically saying that she used to work with Apollo and Phaedra. And basically that Phaedra is this big kingpin. And her, she makes all of her money in these illegal operations. You know, racketeering and fraud and identity card tracking. I mean, the list was so long and nobody was listening to this girl. No. And this was like a very long interview. It was like a 20 minute interview. And of course I sat there in bed, literally eating popcorn while I watched it. It is your favorite thing to do is to go on the Ebony website and eat popcorn and see what videos I got. Yes, if they don't have any Fantasia news, I'll take what I can get. And so I got my Angela Stanton news. And so none of this really surprised me. What really does surprise me is Phaedra. Okay, here's my theory. First of all, Phaedra is so fucking smart. They are not going to invite Phaedra. She will not have her hands dirty in any of this, which I love. We can pretty much predict that with 100% certainty. She will stay clean even though, you know, she's running it because he can barely make a sentence. He can't steal identities. I mean, come on. Yeah, I mean, she's one as sad as it is. Phaedra Parks is one of the few housewives who actually has an advanced degree or a degree at all. Yes. She actually has a brain and yes, she's with a criminal, but she's also doing it for the money. But he has a hot criminal, you know, hey, what you want to do for a hot guy? Yeah. And you know, she's making him work and put everything in his name and he's the one who's going to be in prison. And my second, my prediction is that Phaedra is the one who set all this up. I think that she probably caught him cheating or something and she got his hat thrown in prison because he's not going to just get out this time. I mean, he's not going to be in there three years and get out. He's pretty much done. Well, so really what happened according to, I think it was Access Atlanta, which is my own version of Ebony, is that apparently this woman who works with Apollo and his various schemes, she was busted first, I think back in September. And she just outed, she basically outed Apollo. She wore like wire taps. She had the whole nine yards, like literally like the movie, the whole nine yards. Yeah. She looks just like Matthew Perry. She's like a black Matthew Perry. She, apparently what they did was they, they, they stole a lot of identities and they opened up various illegal businesses or like fake car companies. And I think they were able to get loans using the fake identities. It was all a little confusing for me because I'm a very simplistic person. Yeah, one of them, yeah, one of them was they were, they opened like a Ferrari store and then it was fake and then they stole all these identities and then they applied for loans for Ferraris. And their own store. The Ferraris didn't exist and neither did the, the people or the identities were stolen. Long story short is they really like, apparently the evidence is very strong against Apollo and he's an idiot. You know, here's something you shouldn't do. If you're on TV, don't be a con artist. Okay, because you will get busted. I guarantee it. Like what, that's the best way. Like how many times do I have to hear stories about people go on to wheel of fortune and then get like arrested for outstanding warrants like a day later. This is what happens people. You go on TV, you raise your profile and you know, it's bad for a criminal, a high profile. No kidding. And this all happened the same week that on his own show, he starts beating up some gay guy for no reason after bragging that he drops like $5,000 every time he goes to a strip club. And then when people are saying, you're spending your wife's money on that, he says, no, it's my money. It's my money. I can do what I want with it. We are going to get all into it. What are you doing? You're on national TV saying your wife had nothing to do with it. And it's all your money. The same week you get arrested. I mean, that is just too rich. It was like two days after that story broke the episode. It was too perfect. Andy Cohen probably like shot his pants in like the best possible way for him. And shit had a little beard on it. A terrible, terrible mismatching. And shit was like, mawsel of the week is the toilet paper. Sorry. So anyway, that is crazy. He's going to jail and he and Joe Judas can butt fuck each other all day long. Yep. Two bottoms don't make a top. Remember that boys. Remember that in jail. So the other big news coming from New York is that Ramona and Mario are separated. I don't know if this has been made official. Have they officially confirmed this? But the gossip mill is super, super, super strong on this front. I guess I think he cheated on her. And then I've both been seeing other people and she came out of the house and all that fun stuff. And they called the police in the house and supposedly Ramona offered them some of her wine. And they got there. Well, you know, like my mother always said, if the police come to the door, you never want to man to offer your own wine. You've got to offer it yourself. You want to be able to, you don't want to rely on a man to do anything for you. Well, if one of the policemen had a sister or a wife or a brother or something, who was going to get married or who was a hotel. And they're going to need some Pinot Grigio. And I'm a business woman. So I was thinking maybe if they taste my Pinot Grigio, they want to give it to someone for their wedding or for their new business or a casino. Who knows? You never know. There's business everywhere. I'm a business woman. I heard. I don't know business. I heard that when the police went to Lou Ann's house because there was a teenager who had passed out in the bushes and she didn't even offered them wine. And I'm sorry. That's just, that's not, that's a classic. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's a classic. I'm sorry. Well, you know, my husband may have cheated. I mean, I don't know. I mean, I'm not going to try and take the attention off of him. All I'm saying is that Lou Ann, you know, her child called someone the n-word in poetry or something on the internet with art while her friend had passed out in a bush. And I don't know if my husband was sleeping with anybody there. All I can say is that Lou Ann, you know, condoses the n-word in her house. You know, by the way, speaking of Lou Ann, she must be loving this. Not only did Mario once call her the discount to us, which is, of course, in the front of all humanity, but she was the one who I believe was stirring up the rumors in Morocco of all places in the Suq that Mario was, you know, all over town doing, who knows what. Well, that was also over the summer. That was in all the papers, you know, well, not all of them, but page six, you know. I mean, you only have to look at the guy's grinning rictus to know that he is totally putting his wiener in every, every orifice you can find that has a cross dangling from it. Well, listen, like sticking it in Ramona is like sticking it in the pencil sharpening. You don't want to stick it in there. And something else women, if your man is working out every day and has a body like that at 50, he's fucking around on you. He's not looking like that for you. Okay? Yeah, no, I would have to agree with that. And by the way, the most important point of all is that I am so excited for Real House as a New York to come back in March, like, so beyond excited. Like, I am needing this franchise so badly in my life. Yeah, I can't wait either because I need 10 weeks of not hating Housewives because that's always how long it takes for me. It's like 10 weeks and I'm like, oh, like this week with Beverly Hills. I'm like, really, I can't buy Captain anymore with these bitches because there's been something like 13 weeks and I'm done. Yeah, no, Beverly Hills, apparently, I think we talked about this last week. The ratings are in the shitter. They're going to clean house with the cast and good riddance. This is, I mean, a good chunk of the episode this week was them sitting around painting pictures for Gigi. So they're, well, we'll get to this. We're going to get to that all in a bit. Yeah, we'll get to that because I've got some more gossip from that show. So other stuff in the gossip is Vicky is finally divorced. Oh, yes, this was, by the way, this was sent in by our duly departed Matt Woodfield. He sent us this. Yeah, Matt Woodfield, we still love you. So go on, tell us. I actually didn't read the link yet. Well, basically it's nothing really juicy. They just finally got divorced. Vicky got away with most everything, but Don got like the 401k worth almost a million bucks and they got a house in Irvine, which is fitting. It's like, you know, that's like, oh, wonderful. It's like, congratulations. You just inherited like a tired junkie. You know, the swingers community is really good in Irvine. Well, let me tell you something. I was in Irvine recently. I went to David Busters, Nuff said, did well, got myself a shot glass. Wow. I want a shot glass. I don't even know what to say. You don't have to say anything. You don't have to say anything. No one has your birthday in Azusa. I would prefer if no one said anything. Oh, and by the way, there was a big forest fire next to Azusa last year last week. So, you know, we don't know what Sheen has been up to, but perhaps nothing too good. So that was a Vicky and Thomas Kramer has filed bankruptcy. Oh, Thomas Kramer, our old friend. Sit down, shut up, or find the backup seat. Yeah, I can't believe, you know, he's probably one of those people who's totally getting screwed over by Craigslist right now because he's like, "Well, you know, I paid $57 million for this lying head, and no one will buy it from me at the Craigslist." I invested $20 million on adult onesies, and no one is buying any of them. That's probably why. Everything tasks over so much money. Do you know how many Chinese children it took to hunt this elephant? By the way, I just want Americans on the internet. I just want everyone to know that I just froth over my laptop. This is the extent I will go for a German impersonation that will froth over my laptop and risk ruining the whole thing. Okay, so that's enough for the gossip. We've got a shit ton of TV to talk about, so let's turn it over there, shall we? Let's, and you know what, normally we start with Beverly Hills, but we're going to go, we're going to Atlanta. This is Atlanta's week. We not only did Apollo end up in the news, but we had crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy stuff that happened in Atlanta. So let's start at the top of the episode, which I think, you know, we started, I think, with Kenya going to the sperm doctor. And she, first of all, the best part is she wants to get pregnant. She's saying, "Well, you know, it's going to be really hard, especially with my boyfriend who lives in Africa." I mean, Kenya, come on now. Let's just, like, some lies you just have to give up. You just have to stop, stop, quit while you're very far behind. Okay. That's like every gay guy has a long-term relationship before he comes out of the closet that lives in Canada. Like, isn't that the, what is that? What did they do that? I think it's South Park someone had, like, a long-distance girlfriend or whatever, but that's always the case. Yeah. Someone always has a girlfriend in Canada, or, you know, I can't even think of any place else right now, which is not voting law for the rest of the podcast. I don't know. All I have to do... What's in the world? I have to place it's not America. That's all I have to do, and I can't do it. Yeah. You're very, you're very ethnic-centric. You're very... Yeah. America. You know, I think that's a good thing. You know what? There's nothing wrong with being able to think of nothing but America. Oh, maybe I should just stop the podcast now. This podcast is nothing if not patriotic. And why can't Kenya find a man in her own country? Okay? No. I do not believe, okay. I do not believe she's got some African oil tycoon. Hey. And I do not believe that she's going to get a baby put inside of her. B. I don't believe anything that comes out of Kenya's mouth. And the only reason Kenya should even be on this show is to be in group scenes and get yelled at by people. Because I do not. Nothing in her personal life brings truth. This whole thing about her mom, listen, honey, you've known the story about your mom. It is tragic. I'm not saying it's not. But now you're going to try and use it for airtime. Even her dad's like, "Oh, no, that's not going to work." I know. How about this for an idea, Kenya? How about you stop acting like a crazy ho, and maybe your mom will say hi to you. Maybe your mom's just extremely embarrassed of you. And not because that you were born, but because of the way you act all the time. Because you make terrible movies and you claim that you have a boyfriend, a Nigerian prince boyfriend. That's probably why your mom's like, "Oh shit, I'm not talking to my daughter anymore. This is crazy. She's making me look bad." Yeah. So there's that. I don't believe anything that comes out of Kenya's mouth. I don't even need to talk about Kenya until we get to the part where we move. Well, guess what, though? But guess what? We're going to keep talking about Kenya. So she goes in and she's talking with this crazy sperm doctor guy who's sort of like Tim Blake Nelson meets like Ren and Stimpy. And she was saying how she's talking about what she wants in a donor. She's like, "Well, I want someone who's funny. Someone who's affectionate. Someone who doesn't have body odor." I'm like, "I don't seem to remember what on the human biome or whatever it is. What were the genes for body odor and for affection and for funniness?" Like, "Can you tell which sperm have those qualities?" And she wants him to have green eyes. Oh, yeah. Well, that's a little bit -- you can -- that maybe you could test for. Maybe if you have a donor who has green eyes. That goes wearing contacts. I mean, give me a break. You want a baby that's going to come. Just buy some little baby contacts because you know that's all you've got anyway. I also like that she also insists that she doesn't want any DNA from someone who isn't intelligent because I actually kind of agree because I feel like it would be very cruel if this baby had, like, the DNA of a father was not very intelligent and the egg from a mother who is really very, very stupid. Like, that was just like you're just not letting the kid have any future basis. Well, but how many -- how many brilliant people are going to jerk off for $20 in a clinic? Like, for fun. And also, I love that one of her qualifications is that she doesn't want somebody who's doing it to be helpful. Yeah. So, she basically wants them to be hot and, like, have no sense of charity in them. Like, I also liked when she looked at the sperm up close in the -- in the -- when I speak about intelligence, I can't remember the name -- the microscope. When she looked at the sperm, she's like, "Ooh!" And I was just imagining that, like, up until that moment, she always thought sperm looked like the opening credits of Lucas talking. You know? Like, I just imagine. I know. Somebody was actually going to crawl up inside of her. Yeah. She was like, "Where are the beach boys? Why aren't the beach boys playing?" It's a really old reference for all you people out there. If you haven't seen Lucas talking -- She's like, "They're so tiny." I'm like, "What did you think was going to happen?" Like, "Did you think you were going to go in and just see, like, a little tiny baby?" And then they were going to put it inside of you and it would just grow a little bit more and pop it back out covered inside. You fucking idiot. She's probably another in Candy's Kegel balls. So, rolling around in the Petrie dish. Well, another thing is -- she's saying, like, she wants Obama's sperm. Okay, people. Brilliant people don't necessarily have brilliant children. I mean, look at the Clintons. Yes, I was just about to say. I mean, God bless Chelsea. She seems very nice and everything. But it's not like she popped out of there, like, with the personality ready to lead the prequel. Well, I think we're going to talk about Bill Clinton's brother. I mean, it just goes to show people can sire, you know, very smart world leaders. And then Roger Clinton. I mean, Slade's brilliant. Look at that backwards brother. Look at Danny DeVito and Arnold Schwarzenegger. It just doesn't always work out. Exactly. Yes. They were twins. They were twins. Let's just see how many 80s movies we can bring up. There are 80s slash and early early 90s. Look at big business. Look at big business, okay? You've got, like, Bette Midler and you've got Lily Tomlin. See? Although, to be fair, they were switched. But you have smart Bette Midler from the city and you have naive Bette Midler. So, it just goes to show. Yeah. Yeah. Different flavors come out the same apple tree. Yeah. Different out. You can get a granny Smith and a delicious from the same tree. Yeah. Probably not. But that's what we're going to say. If we're going to be folksy and American because this is an American podcast today. Yeah. So, the other news was that Phaedra decided to throw a big party for her little baby, the President of the United States or whatever, whatever he's called. So, that's really the baby's name, Mr. President? No, no, no. His name's like Dylan or something like that. But this also ushered in the return of Dwight. So, for all of you guys who are waiting for a letter face skeleton to pop up on screen, congratulations. It's back. Oh, no. He's very waxy. He looks like the Madame Tussauds Museum of Unfamous People. He looks like a scepter, like an evil, like, imagine like some evil person who has a scepter that has like little eyes on it and like Mumra from Thundercats. Doesn't he have a scepter that he could like shake it at someone? Like, that's what Dwight's head looks like at the top of an evil scepter. I want, I want to electrocute him. Okay, this is- By the way, I just made a line of person that Dwight is. He's the kind of person who says things like, "Ooh, girl, it's the cat's meow." No. And then he'll follow up with like a, "And the meow don't bite." And you're like, "What does that mean?" And he'll be like, "I want to see those legs. I want to see them like two chairs at the merry ground." And you're like, "What, huh?" Look at that pool. It's a big tub of water, just like a pitcher ready on a hot summer day. It's like a canoe at the rodeo. Perfectly special. You're like, "What, huh?" I am hotter in here. I am hotter in here than a sneaker at a red lobster. I don't know. I think David Busters is like, "I already talked about David Busters, so let me think of my next favorite place, Red Lobster." I just feel like he's got like the flappiest used up. But I feel like if you're hanging out with Dwight, everyone's always wondering who farted. And he can admit to it because he probably doesn't even know that he did it. I think, well, because his nose, I think, has been sutured shut at this point. Yes. And his butt probably needs to be. So he was the party planner for this. I thought he was like a hairdresser originally. I just don't understand where Dwight suddenly becomes the arbiter of good taste in Atlanta. This is why I think Atlanta is a ridiculous city where people like Dwight are considered good party planners. Because then we saw the party and it featured like a flash mob of dancing secret service agents. It's like the most bizarre thing of all time. I don't know whether it'd be like, I think this is like amazing, or this is like, nothing makes sense here. Well, he keeps getting hired because he keeps saying things like, "Stand up on that pool, honey. Your legs look so good from here." And it's just like stubby-ass little face. You know it. Like, that's why he gets hired. And he's like, "I'm falling fader pretty while her husband's back." I want to eat something. You can't stand here while you do a stupid dance. I'm going to eat something stupid. Don't talk to me like that woman. Stupid woman. Oh, it's true. You know, Dwight is a professional cuss-ass. I mean, you know, again, not to malign the entire hair and makeup community, but there are a lot of hair stylists and makeup artists that we see on these reality shows that all they do is just kiss their clients ass. I'm like the ones we saw on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills this week who worked for Days of Our Lives and Kyle kept trying to make small talk and tell stories about George Clooney and they look like they wanted to show a brush down her throat to shut the fuck out. Well, it's funny. If I may make a brief diversion to Shazza Sunset because I know you didn't watch, I can mention it. I did. Oh, you did? Well, there was a scene. How dare you imply that I would have had a job. You always are saying you're not going to watch anymore. There wasn't a scene where Lily Galichie was like, "I don't want to hang out with these people anymore, so I'm going to hang out with my friends." As I cut to her with her entire "glam squad" fooling around wigs being really awful and annoying and also making terrible jokes. And she's like, "It's just so great when you can hang out with friends who are just like, you're so comfortable with." I'm like, "Lady, you pay them. They are your employees. They're going to laugh at every single thing you say and you're on TV." That's why they're like that. It's like all these reality shows. It's like Rachel Zou. She had that guy, Joey, who just basically kissed her ass. I remember even when Paul Abdull had her show. All her friends were just like stylists and make up people. Because those people, all they want to do, I'm not saying in general, but the people on these shows, all they do is kiss, ask. They want to be on TV and they want to be with famous people. Well, yeah. They're at work. I mean, Jesus, I kiss, ask at work. If I'm nice to people at work, but inside my mind, I'm not. But I don't hang out with them. I'm horrible behind their backs. I mean, you should hear the things I say about you, Ronnie. It'd be very awkward on the podcast. I'm sure. Don't you think I'd get reports after Korean pub crawls? I hear. I know what's going on. Ronnie, the only thing we were saying was that we wish you were there. We had like 40 people and it was craziness and it was fun. So anyway, okay, so enough of this stuff. Let's just get right to the Pillow Talk, the Nini's Pillow Talk session. So the big centerpiece of the episode that happened with 25 minutes left was that Nini decided we're going to have Pillow Talk tonight. We're going to get everyone together and we're going to have Pillow Talk. And I don't know why she did this. I think this was her attempt to audition for her own talk show, you know? Because the best part, she's like, what's great about the Pillow Talk is that it's like free couples counseling. And I'm like, I don't know at what point Nini has qualified to cancel couples and why that would ever be a good idea or why anyone in that room is qualified to give any sort of advice because they're all dysfunctional and they're all ridiculous. Well, Nini made it clear right at the beginning when she started what she was there for. There was never going to be any conversation or any help. She brought up every piece of shit that these women have been slinging about each other's men right up front, who's left with who, who's been cheating, who's been like, and she brought it up publicly to start a fight. And she pays through the entire time. She basically does nothing this season except try to be nice. She's been very funny. I think it's been one of her brothers. Someone actually posted a gossip item on our Facebook page. There was a blind item that someone on the Real House House of Atlanta was doing lines right before the Pillow Talk session. And I mean, I can't say for sure, but I would imagine based on Nini's behavior that she would be a good suspect for that. Peter, Peter, Nini. I mean, any of them, really. Yeah, probably. Any of them. I mean, Peter's beard looks like it's made from cocaine. Like, it's actually not a beard. He basically just takes egg white and he slathers his chin in it and then he dredges himself in cocaine. It starts to save itself a little. So all the time, people don't realize it's like in that movie traffic when there's the doll that's made of cocaine and so everyone thinks that Catherine Zeta Jones is bringing dolls in from Mexico. Turns out it's cocaine. That's what his beard is. Yeah, he's basically, you know, he keeps it white so that if he has a little in there, he doesn't have to worry about being caught by anybody. Yeah. It's kind of the reason, like, even if I lose weight, I still need to keep a good 20 pounds on me because I need enough room in my belly button to hold an M&M. Just need that emergency staff. Okay. Oh, God, I could go for an M&M right now. I actually almost went downstairs and got an M&M from the vending machine down book just before. And now I really regret not doing that. I'm from H.U.P.Moka from Starbucks with no eyes. So, okay, so as Nini Jessie Raphael started this talk show, it started, it wound up being like, at first, like a bunch of like stupid questions. It was basically like one of those really dumb board games. Remember that game "Scruples" or whatever? It's like, what would you do? So Nini was like, what would you do if you found out that your man was bisexual? You know? And I loved Portia's answer because she's like, I don't care if he's heterosexual or whatever, it needs to be partial sexual. I'm like, I don't even know what that means. You're only attracted to Portia or you're only attracted to the car. Well, I love that Nini, you know, Nini didn't even veil any of this. First of all, she's pacing back and forth like a moose and a pen. Like she's just like ready to like go crazy. It's like somebody's just like mosquitoes are biting her ass and she's ready to roam the fields. And then she's like, what's going on? I'm like, what's going on? I'm like, what's going on? I'm like, I'm like, what's going on? I'm like, what's going on? I'm like, what's going on? I'm like, what's going on? I'm like, what's going on? I'm like, what's going on? I'm like, what's going on? I'm like, what's going on? I'm like, what's going on? I'm like, what's going on? I'm like, what's going on? I'm like, what's going on? I'm like, what's going on? I'm like, what's going on? 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I'm like, what's going on? I love that so then in the wake of this big fight, then Tom and Kristin are like back at the apartment and they're sort of like licking their wounds and then Tom is making these jokes about like, maybe we should just move to Alaska or something. And Kristin literally says, we can't be actors there. Oh no, because they have all these roles that are coming to them over here. She was going to be in August, Osage County and now she can't because she has to move to Alaska. Well, the thing that's so sad is that this was, I mean, this was a really great episode, but then next week, it's like Sheena singing her song. Oh God. They're all doing another photo shoot for Sur where their naked, like how many of those do we need to see? Hey, Barb, wait, can we just talk about the tanning salon scene that should have been cut out of this episode? Yeah. Oh no, because this is the month of everybody getting waxed and spray tanned on Bravo. Like everybody's vagina is being featured for so long. Do you realize how many people are in the room? This is what I still do not understand. Stosties, disgusting, crotch has been filmed and seen by all the editors, all the sound people, every single person, the network has to watch and approve the stuff. So like how many people between her Mexico trips, her beef getting waxed, now she's getting spray tanned. Like she, she really is the, she to me is the most disgusting one on all of it. Yes. Yes. She's also the biggest reason to watch, you know, so sad, like the most despicable fucking human being and you're like, yeah, I can't wait to see what she does next time. I know. Oh my goodness. And she used the word disgusting the most. You're so disgusting. You're a terrible parasite. Well, but I. Disgusting. One thing I do love about Stostie is that like you never get like a break from her being evil. Like when they all went to Malibu afterward, they have like their little beach beach blanket bingo, whatever moment in Malibu and they're all frolicking around and jacks is like, yay. I'm like, people like me again. And the middle of it, Sostie's like, oh yeah, I forgot. Like I hate Jax. And so she just basically starts attacking Jax for basically turning on. It just, like my brain explodes. Like the way that you said they said you're giving it's, it's Oh, so Jax just gets a pass, yeah. Since the one, I mean, Jax had sex with you and she's like, Oh yeah, that's right. You know what? You're disgusting. Exactly. But she's right though. I mean, she was right. And you know what I have to say, Jax is pretty disgusting about it. She really, he really was because he did have sex and he did show no remorse. He's like, whatever. I'm over it. I'm like, no, it's not up for you to be over it. Oh, I know. Like a Sostie. I'm telling you. Yeah, he really is. And they said, aren't you even sorry? And he's like, no, what do you want me to say? I'm not sorry. I'm like, why fucking best friend? Why? It's like, he doesn't even seem to understand and, and, and Lisa is right. He tears over this and it's like, clearly you fucking sociopath robot. I know. Lisa Vanderpump was right when she, she gave him a talking down to him and was basically like, you're totally like, you get off the hook for everything, da, da, da, da. But what I understand is, Lisa, you're the boss. If you don't want him to get off the hook, fire his stupid ass. There are a million better bartenders. No, she's like Sostie in a way, and I actually like Lisa, so I don't mean that in an offensive way. But she's one of those people that needs to have people that are dumber around her to talk down to. I mean, the best part of this season for me, aside from Stacey's complete evilness is Lisa, because she is fucking hilarious, dressing everybody down and telling it, you know, just laying it right out on the table for them. I love how she does that, but she needs stupid people to do that because smart people won't take it, and you can see that on Beverly Hills. Like she can't talk to people that way on that show. You know, she's- Oh, no, no, they don't, they don't like that. It's because these people are like, they have the IQ of a dirty condom in the corner of a dorm room. Yeah. I mean, there you go. Yeah, these kids are really fucking stupid and they deserve everything. They deserve every little wart that pops up. Oh my goodness. Everybody has AIDS, AIDS, AIDS. Lads, lads, lads. So. I think that pretty much covers it. I mean, we can talk about blood sweat and heels a little bit, but not much. I mean, it was actually a very serious episode, and it was, you know, the long and the short of it was that it was Micah's dad died or was dying, and she was dealing with issues, childhood issues. And it was surprisingly, I thought thoughtful and sad and moving and- I think it's so funny. Are you- You like- I'm sentimental. Everybody's benefited the doubt. I thought it was sad. The guy's dying. The guy's dying. Yeah, he was an abusive asshole who's fucking treated her like shit her whole life, and he's dying, and she doesn't want to go say goodbye to him. She wants him to apologize to her before he dies. It's like, she's only going to him for the most selfish fucking reasons ever, which I don't blame her, but don't go. He was abusive. It's like, now you need him for a scene on your TV show before you get- Why? I know. That's so sad. No, I don't know. I didn't take it that way. I still thought that the issues that she was dealing with and grappling with, and she was like really crying. I don't know. I thought it was like, I don't want to say it's thoughtful, but it was like more substantive than like, Vanderpump Rules. You know? Oh, slightly. I mean, if it wasn't in her cut with her being wasted and like flashing her badge at someone's work party, it'd be- Well, that just goes for the territory. So really not much happened on Blood, Sweat, and Heels, but I am loving the show. And then Shaw's a sunset. What happened to both people in the fucking world? You know, they're pretty bad on Vanderpump Rules, but at least they're not trying to- Oh, my gosh. You know, I gotta stop watching us. Yeah, I stopped too, and then I got shit for it, so I caught up on it. And that shows just- they are so awful to each other. And now. They don't- there's not one honest friendship on there. Right, that has fucked over every person who's been on that joke. Absolutely. And then he's like, "What? When we do that to each other, we just have a thick skin. You have to have a thick skin home, girl. Like, huh, you have to have a thick skin, so it'll be hanging with us." Meanwhile, your skin, that's like five layers of fat, you fuck. And meanwhile, I- even though Lily can be totally vapid and ridiculous, I'm totally on her side when she's like, these people, like, no one defended her, no one called her or anything like that. And she's like, "I'd rather hang out with the glam squad than the newspaper right now." And I'm like, "You know what? I respect her. You know why? Because by her not going to Turkey, 'cause she decided not to go to Turkey, she's basically gonna get fired off the show. She doesn't hang out with them. She doesn't do anything. She doesn't even go on the group trip. She would rather be fired off this show than hang out with these people, and I have to admire someone like that. No, I think she's probably gonna get a spin off. Well, it'll be. Like, it'll truly be a spin off. It'll be like her dog spinning in circles. It'll be like, "Oh my God, come on." Come on, come on. Come on. It's gonna be a show I'm gonna have to go up. I'll be in crumbs. It's so cute. It's gonna be a show like, "Calcana" and, like, "Fuffin' Otter, Butter, Butter, Cuckoo." And we're gonna, like, go to a ram, because you can just go to a ram, and, like, I'm gonna have to pull her a lot on my show. And then I'm gonna put on wings, and then I'm gonna talk to my brother. Here's my brother. Hi, I'm Lily. His brother. Hi, brother. How are you? How are you? Good. Dry up over easy. Completely disappointed the entire family. I hope you're happy. Morning. You're gonna get married. I don't know what I'm gonna get married. I'm just gonna hug out with a poopy, father, father, caterer, not touch chicken. Our whole family was born so you could pro clean. You're completely disappointed in the entire family. You're only put on this earth to have babies for men. Let's put on bikinis. Did you not see the one with her brother, Katie? Yes. Her brother has a worse voice than she does. He's like, "Mr. Bean with a bad voice." He's like the droopy, the dog version of that, Lily. I just want to know something. How the hell do they have those voices, and how the hell is he married with a kid? I don't know. And this cocaine really, okay, when did cocaine stop making people lose weight? Because this week on Bravo, we've seen Reza and MJ, who are obviously co-kids, and they're fatter than ever. And we've seen Mimi, the movie, this long coke. When did they take the ingredient out of cocaine that speeds up your heart rate enough to make you lose some fucking weight? That's like so Persian, because white people, they do cocaine and they lose weight. But Persian people just want to have a dry cookie. That's so Persian. Give me a slider with cocaine on it. I'm gonna sniff cheaters, beard. If you give me cocaine, I can just see French fries faster. I can't eat some of these. I can't have so many blows of meat if I have some cocaine, because my hands move faster. That's all Persian. That's all Persian. Don't like is the coke head, you guys. Didn't you see him grinding his teeth? Oh, yeah. Yeah. My coke head on that shelf. It's the coke head. So, you know, and by the way, I hate when they give saying, you know, our people, we've been persecuted, we've been this really drive around fucking Beverly Hills, okay? Doesn't feel like you're persecuted. Yeah. Give me a break, okay? We all come from different countries and cultures that we could sit here and whine about on TV. The fact is you are, you're handed everything that you have by your fucking parents. You know, like, awesome. Everyone's like, oh, awesome. Her art. You know, her parents paid for that fucking art. So I hope you enjoy your $5 dollar bottle of Diamondwater that her parents paid for with their fucking life savings. Like, people are not persecuted. Give me a fucking break. And by the way, if you want to, if you want to just, and if you want to talk about nasty vile behavior, like, forget everything in Vanderpump rules, forget everything we saw and land to anything, you just have to look at Gigi and her sister fighting in front of that poor little girl. Oh, my God. How inappropriate was that? That was just. I used the little girl. So despicable. Both of them. Both of them. Shame on both of them. They just have terrible parents. That's what the issue is. They've got that like dad. His sister's like, oh, you'll have to stop fighting now. It's like you have raised two awful women right now. You awful, awful women. Yeah. If you stop fighting, I will buy you a direct-leaning sort of this. Like, shut up. So terrible. They're terrible. They stab each other in the back all the time in their family. Reza stabs MJ in the back for some new girl that he doesn't even know because she's skinny and pretty. Then he decides that he wants MJ back because there's no one to share like binge moments with him. So he takes MJ back and then he's mean to Mike. And then he ruins Mike's reputation on national TV and then decides, you know, now he'll be friends with Mikey. It's disgusting. You haven't thought about it. Look at themselves. You're the one who has any brains in this show, this seems like these days, is Mike's child bride who is like, yeah, you know, sometimes when people get older, you're supposed to be able to like hang out with different people and they're like, shut up little girl. Oh, when she told her, I'm not a little girl, but that's not cool. And MJ is like, well, you are 10 years younger than that. So she's like, I should have 20 years younger than you. I did like that. She's like, well, that was funny. But you know, I'm all for like being bitchy and having fun. And like, if you're going to be mean, be mean, or whatever, I get it, but I'm not like that to my friends. Like, I'm true to my friends. I'm not going to be out there being a fucking bitch to my own friends. You know, you've got to have a crew and it's not even racially, but I mean, if those are your friends or your friends, what do these people stab each other and the bat kills me? Like, if it's Stacey going after people, I get it because like she she has a clear line of who's her enemy, you know, but these people, they're going against their best friends for no reason just to be on TV. It's great. I know. Isn't that disgusting? Seriously. That's that to me is like, you're I had an employee actually do that, try to cause like all these problems and do all that stuff. And it's like, what are you doing? You're actually jeopardizing people's jobs. Like, this is real, our real life. And this is going to be seen for from so many people forever. The fact that you can act so vile and disgusting is like, I it made me like not want to do anything ever again. So I kind of get the whole Lilly, like not wanting to be prejudiced. She works. I mean, she runs a company. She works. I get it. None of those bitches do anything but live off their parents money. Yeah. You know, Lilly, you know, Lilly is annoying, but she actually seems like a fairly smart person. And she and she also, I feel like as she has her lines that she draws in the sand and she has her values. And she's like, okay, basically, you're going to act like that and you're not even going to like stand up for me or say you're my friend or you're not going to call me afterwards or whatever. Like, fuck you. Like, I saw how you acted on TV. I saw how you acted in the reunion. I'm over this. Goodbye. And then for Reza to be like, I love when they had their conversation. And Reza was like, well, I like, I invested, I invested a lot of time to like bring you into the group and get to know you. And she's like, sorry. You know, like, yeah, she was not taking it. Like, she's supposed to go fall on her sword in front of Reza. For what? Like, you fucking asshole, you've never did anything but act like a total jerk to her the whole time. And then on top. And then when she said, when she got told off at that dinner, he just sat there and the MJ do it and didn't say anything. It's like, of course. These people are your friends. Yeah. These people like you. And then he's like, and then she didn't call me and she didn't, I mean, I don't understand. Really? Yeah. I mean, and then on top of that he screwed her over another time because, you know, also is basically, I'm sorry. She was saying like, if I go to Turkey, it's basically because of Asa because Asa has been a friend to me and I'll do it for Asa. But then there's part of me that's like, do I want to be with people who are like this? And so then Reza goes and tells us, oh, well, just so you know, Lily's not going to Turkey. And it's like, that's such an undermining thing to do. And then it makes Lily look bad. So of course, like that is actually going to make Lily not want to go. Like, why, again, why would she go with these people? And I loved how unapologetic she was as Matt Woodfield would say, team Lily. Yeah, she she has nothing to apologize for it. Now she's going to lose her damn job because that's what happens on those shows. You know, you don't play. Yeah, as soon as you play nice, look at what happened with Adrian Maloof, like she was like, you know what? I'm done with this. I have a real life and real businesses and children and I don't want to do this anymore. Oh, no, no, no, Adrian Maloof tried to start so much shit because she wasn't the queen bee. And then when she couldn't win, she was like, bye. And then she's like, I'm going to open a restaurant and started all this shit, like trying to open a restaurant across the street from Lisa's. We love it. She's the victim cow. Oh, she's the worst. Adrian Maloof is the worst. Wait, when did you try to open a restaurant? Right after. So all that stuff that happened, OK, so apparently she really did try to call everybody and get them to take down Lisa, which of course you can't take down Lisa because she didn't do anything wrong. OK. So then Adrian comes back the next season and keeps trying to get her every second for saying the Maloof, which it's like, bitch, I get that you don't have much history in your rotting little brain, but that's actually not an offensive term. Like dancers in the 30s were called hoppers and they were gorgeous creatures, you know, it's so slang, Lisa's an old lady, like if it were a break. Yeah. So Adrian is trying to make this huge thing and turn everything against Lisa and it didn't work. And so when it didn't, she started going on TMZ saying Villa Blanca sucks and she's going to start a new restaurant across the street and she'll show Lisa what real competition is like. I mean, she's on camera saying all this shit and I have not seen this restaurant. I don't know where it is, but I do know that she's on her like third 20 year old. She's vile. She's so gross. We, wasn't she with Rod Stewart's son? Yeah. And she dumped him and now she's with someone even younger than him. Mark Sanchez, right? What? Don't shoot. Oh my God. I'm sorry. I know. Mark Sanchez. I refuse to leave the Mark Sanchez with with with Adrian Maloof. I mean, say what you will about a quarterback, Hey, that's a quarterback. He is way too hot to be with Adrian Maloof way too hot. 24 year old Jacob Bush. I don't. Wait. I don't know. This is as of October 4th, 2013. All right. Well, she. Bush. Maybe she'll be with Jacks. So anyway, why don't we, why don't we wrap this up? Yeah, because now I'm absolutely horrified talking about this is going. This is going into like a very scary area. So I just can't think about what's happening with Adrian's coochy. So anyway, Katie, thank you so much for coming. Katie, thank you. It was so good to talk to you. I missed you. Oh my God. I missed you guys too. You know, you are my favorite and there's no one else that I can talk so much with about these shows, except for you guys. And of course, the listeners, whom I love so much back at you. Yeah. Thank you so much for coming on. You can find Katie on Twitter at the painted nail, I believe, and it's the same on Facebook. Right. You don't have Facebook.com forward slash you have a painted nail page on there. Yeah. At the painted nail on Instagram and Twitter, and I am official Katie Kazorla and painted nail LA on Facebook. And then our Facebook page is Facebook.com forward slash watch what crap ends really. You should follow it. We made several references to it already during this podcast. So you can if you thought if you like it, then you can get on top of those references even earlier and contribute your own. I'm at B-side blog, Ronnie is at Trash Tweet TV, both on Twitter and also on Instagram at B-side blog, et cetera. And Ronnie, go check out his site. He does really funny recaps at trashtalktv.com. He does like Beverly Hills. Yeah, I'm doing Beverly Hills. Come over. Really, really funny. He sure does. He does. Ronnie does Beverly Hills. Not that much a dildo slant out of the back of your clip, but fun. Dipped in acid. Dipped in acid. Dipped in acid. Very, very much like Medea, it's very like Medea giving me like the poison groves to her rivals. So anyway, yes, yes, I did make a classical Greek reference just there. Have you thought I was referring to Medea, Tyler Perry, then Shimano? So thanks everyone for listening and we will talk to y'all next week. Bye. Bye. If you like listening to comedy, try watching it. On the internet. The folks behind the sideshow network have launched a new YouTube channel called Wait For It. It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza Schleisinger, Slicing Driving Friends with it for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there and I still have a hard time with the last name wise. Our very own Owen Benjamin, that's me, takes you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes and much more. You don't have to wait any longer. Just go to youtube.com/waitforcomedy. There's no need to wait for it anymore because it's here and it's funny and I love you. To the insurance company that's burned me, our time together has come to an end. It's not me, it's you. We both know what I'm talking about. 15 minutes ago, I began courting Geico. It was just the easiest thing I've done since buttering my biscuit at breakfast. Not only have I saved hundreds of dollars on my car insurance, but also the future tears you were sure to impose. My heart and my coverage now belong to Geico. Sincerely, not yours, Tara in Telluride. 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