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Hey everyone, did you know that it costs about 12-15 dollars to get your own domain? Well, if you go to GoDaddy.com and use the promo code Crapins, you can get one for two dollars for an entire year. That's ten dollars you can save, and you can put that towards a meal, towards who knows what, but you should really do it. Crapins is the key word, and you want to go to GoDaddy.com, do it guys, be real fun. [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] Hey everyone, welcome to Watch What Crapin's. A podcast that's about all that crap on Bravo that we love. I'm Ben Mandelker from bsideblog.com. You can find me @bsideblog on Twitter, Instagram and Vine, or wherever else you might want to seek me out. And joining me, as always, is my plucky and lovely co-host, Mr. Ronnie Karam. Hi, Ronnie. Well, hello, everybody. Happy 2014 again. Yes. Let's just start over again, guys. Let's start over the new year. This is actually our first proper podcast episode since the holidays, really, because last week was our Crapies episode. And if you want to listen to some long string of impersonations and awkward moments, then just go listen to that on iTunes. [Laughs] Ronnie can be found at trashtalktv.com and trash tweet TV on Twitter. And you can find this podcast's Facebook page, it's facebook.com/watchwhatcrapins. I cannot encourage you guys enough to like the page if you haven't already, because we have, I don't know, about 2,100 likes. I mean, we should have like 15,000 by now, but we're just at 2,100, but that's quite all right. We have a lot of fun on that page. And we get a lot of content. It's cool, you guys. Yeah, it's super, super fun. And of course, you know, follow us on iTunes and on SoundCloud or Stitcher, just do a search for Watch More Crapins, and you'll find us. Yeah. So, we got all the housekeeping out of the way. So, gosh, Ronnie, it feels nice to be back at this, doing a proper podcast, does it not? It does. And Bravo has been so funny lately, so thank you, Bravo, to that. Before we even get going on all the different shows and stuff. Well, this week, by the way, just in case you want to know if we're going to talk about your show, we're going to talk about the Beverly Hills Housewives, Atlanta Housewives. What else, do we say? Vanderpoot Rules. And what's the other? Let's sweat and heels. Let's sweat and heels. But before we even start talking about that, I have to say another week, Andy still has that beard. Oh, gosh. I don't even watch that watch what happens live. But Andy, shave your beard. That is not cute. It's bad enough. Your cross-eyed, lispy, and you look like you're spazzing out every time you try and say a sentence. Please, shave. The least you could do is shave. Make an effort. I can only imagine how much tuna salad is caught in those whiskers. Oh, girl. I'm not saying that metaphorically because we all know metaphorically, it's not tuna salad. He's interested. He would be a closeted. He would be closeted. He would be a closeted straight guy who just needed some kind of personality, so he glommed on to gayness. Yeah, that would be funny. And while I'm at things I can't stand on Bravo anymore, please, enough with vagina waxing, Bravo. Yes, I'm so glad you brought that up. It's like a vagina being waxed in my face. Stop it. You know, it's so funny. I was going to bring that up when once we started talking about "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" because Kyle and Kim Richards went and got there. But J. J. is waxed or vaginas. I'll say vaginas because apparently Calavitres can't say it. And when I was watching it, I'm like, I'm so sick of watching women on Bravo get their vaginas waxed. And I'm sick of that, and I'm sick of watching them take stripper lessons, which happened also in the same episode. I'm sick of all these things, fashion shows, it's like every single episode, it's the same thing. No kidding, you guys, just admit it, you're all dried up. Stop trying to prove that you're not. Just, I would rather an episode about you all trying to figure out how not to be so dried up. Yeah, and like honestly, the joke about watching people get their hairs waxed off is like, it's no longer funny. It's no longer interesting. The novelty is gone. It's not funny watching Kyle Richards and Kim Richards cackling in an office or seeing Stossy's blurred out hooch. No, it's just it's not working for me anymore. It barely works to begin with. I do not need to see your origami meat folds. Keep them at bay. Thanks. Aren't there more interesting things that these women on Bravo could be doing? Why don't we see them go to the library? How about that? Yeah, how about read something? Yeah. Or how about take a class on how to read something? You know, how about how about download the app, do a lingo to your phone and try and learn any language like Ben and I are doing? Oh my god. Do a lingo has been down today and I have not been able to work on my German. Oh, nesecito aprendeir. I mean, nesecitas aprendeir más herman. Das is schlecht. Das is schlecht. Das is schlecht. You see guys, Ben and I know how to further ourselves. We are learning a new language so we can possibly move to other countries and maybe find more success there than we found here in America. Right. In fact, right now, I will say, ich mags nicht die vagina waxing. Which means I don't like vagina waxing. And in my new language, no maas, por favor, los nesecario, okay? Yeah, nine. Duh. Nine bita means no, please, no, please. Yeah. And in gay, put that shit away. Yeah. And in fashion queen speak, it's, ooh, chai honey chai, put that tea back in the box. And in Alexia from World Housewives of Miami language. Oh, well, you know, Peter, you know, he crashed the car because he was thinking about meat faults. So don't do that no more. Oh, well, you know, Peter, like, you know, it's very difficult for him to see people shaving because it reminds him a lot to Frankie and how he was about to learn how to shave before the accident. And you know, oh, well, you know, Peter, this is just the way he expresses himself. So like, it would be really respectful if you could not shave on screen for Peter. Oh, my God. You know, when she said how that is what his little brother did when he got an accident. So I would appreciate no more shaving. Okay. Oh, well, you know, Peter, it's very difficult for him to see pain pain on TV. It's very difficult. So we, let's, let's, oh, by the way, also, we're not going to talk about Shah's sunset this week because Ronnie is behind. You guys, I'm throwing Ronnie on a 14 called I cannot watch it anymore. And I'm not going to. I'm also closing my eyes when I pass bus stops and see all those poor people hitting each other and going through trash cans. Okay. I can't do it anymore. I'm pretending this world is a better place. And you know what? If you want to hear Shah's coverage, well, I'm sorry. I guess it just won't happen here because Ronnie's not watching. And yes, Ronnie, I am going to throw you under the bus, but not just any bus. It's a bus with a giant poster of Mike and Reza on it. Well, it's okay because I will not see the bus because I'm closing my eyes at bus stops. Okay. We have a lot of bus metaphors going on right now. We're going to come. I think we still might talk about Shah's in the future because I still love it. And there's been a lot of drama. Let's face it. I'm not going to watch four hours of it to get caught up. Here's basically the gist of the last episode. I also had a diamond water party, and Mike got really wasted, and he was like an asshole to Reza. But of course, Reza was an asshole. And then Gigi brought her new boyfriend, Cheyenne, who is hot as fuck. He's like, I mean, Gigi, you got a hand to the girl. She may be crazy, but she always gets hot guys. Even the last guy who sort of looked lady-like and plastic surgery, he still was hot. Well, this guy's got to be gay. His name is Cheyenne. Cheyenne. And he was really dumb. And Gigi introduced him to MJ. And MJ was totally patronizing. And then Reza was standing behind MJ. And MJ was asking him questions about like, are you in school? Or like, do you know this or that? And every time she asked the patronizing question, Reza would just stand behind and go. It was like so obnoxious. Like such a mean girl thing. You know, like one person being a bitch, you know, the person laughs to show. They're like supporting it. Yeah. So basically Reza sucks and MJ, here's some gossip for everyone. In case you didn't come to our Facebook page, there was a shooting in the building next to MJ. So. Unfortunately, they missed. They missed. I mean, think about that kind of a target. Y'all, you would never make it in Texas shooter. Yeah. You would never make it in any basic shooting scenario actually. That's the truth. That's the truth of the matter. That's like a, a Mack truck is coming your way. Wait. I'm not even going to go this way because I don't want to be in the spirit of Jay Moore. The way he fat shamed. Alyssa Milano. But he did. Oh, yeah. This is a big deal, actually. How was Jay Moore fat shaming anybody? Have you seen him lately? Oh, my God. He like looks like Kristi Ali. He actually really railed on her. I think either on his podcast or on a radio show, he really, really, really railed on. He's like, yeah, I heard that she just had a baby. I read it on her gut or something like that. And it like, it caused like a big controversy. And then she wrote, she tweeted at him saying like, hey, Jay, so sorry, you felt the need to fat shame me. Say, how do your beautiful life for me? So yeah, I say good for her. And I did want to say even though I was just about to make a really cheap joke at MJ's expense about her weight, the truth is I'm always on the, I'm always on the fence because I'm always like, gosh, she's really, she's really ballooning. But at the same time, like, but she does sort of own it and I can't, I can't fault her for that. Well, you're allowed to fat shame with fat person, but you're not allowed to shame a person, a fat shame with a person who just had a baby. Yeah, that's true. Like there are even rules in the, in the horror bitch world. Okay. Like you're allowed to be a bitch to some people, not, but not the all of them. Yeah. And actually you're only allowed to fat shame if you fat shame yourself, which we do all the time. So. And speaking of fat shame, our, our former colleague, Matt would have really appreciated this that during the party on Shahza sunset, Mike picked up a platter of sliders and pointed to res. I was like, it's like, resin, hey, sliders, sliders. So. That's a question. Resins too terrible to watch. The other ones, I kind of expect them all to be terrible, but for some reason in the beginning, I liked Resa. So that he just turned into a horrible, horrible, bravo, fagito burrito. Like I can't watch it anymore. Yeah. You know, it's like, and there was no hope. Oh, and they also all hate Lily now because she's not like hanging out, you know, which I think makes sense. Because why would she ever want to hang out with these horrible people? But whatever. Also horrible. Like if these people can make that dumb bimbo with like triple D saline sacks that probably Muhammad paid for, like, and if they can make her look like a nice girl, I mean, that girl's a dumb hoe who makes bikinis for a living shut the fuck up, she doesn't even have a face that works and she's in her twenties. I don't agree with her. And they can make her look likable. This shows not worth my time. So. No, it isn't. Okay. So moving on, let's get a gossip. Let's go to. Let's what's the gas Ronnie? Well, there's nothing really too crazy this week on the old browse, but they haven't out some new shows. And I've seen the preview for this one that is called Southern Charms. Southern charm. Have you ever wanted to explore the lives of aristocratic families of the South? No. Why? Because I've done it. And there's nothing worse than old ladies on Bravo than men who are old ladies on Bravo. Okay. And that's what this show is there. These men all look like old leathery ladies, their boobs are just as big. I don't need to watch any of that. I will. Okay. Every episode. All right. Did you see that preview last night? I did not actually. I did not see it. But I read about it. They're like, oh, welcome to the south. They're all kind of like Kevin Spacey in House of Cards. Oh, okay. But there's like five of them. And then there's one called online dating rituals of the American male. Okay. Which is basically gotta be fat guys and wigs jerking off to their cell phone because what else could that be? I know. I was like, oh, so this is show about guys. I can yup. Is that what this is? This is show about guys like talking with someone for like 20 minutes and then moving on to another person and talking to them for 20 minutes. Yeah. Like realizing that they're typing fat and then moving on to somebody else. Yeah. Flipping out is not new. I guess that's one of the returning ships. Yeah. And people's couch is coming back without Ben and Ronnie again. Yeah. They're showing these really cute gay guys. I still haven't watched it, but the guys really are very cute. Well, one of the gay guys used to be on Full House and that made like a minor blip on the pop culture radar like a month ago. So Bravo included that in their press release. They're like, you know, one of the people is the guy from Full House who we reintroduced to you. And I'm like, I really don't think America cares if you reintroduced the gay guy from Full House who's on for like half a season. I care. He's really cute. And do you like how I said they replaced us? We were never hired for that. Sure. I know. Exactly. No, but they are they're all like I was fired after 10 seasons. They actually are all very cute and they're nice to according to their. Yeah. They're cute and they're nice to us on Twitter. Yeah. They're nice to us on Twitter. But then they're showing the Real Housewives of New York City. That show is going to be amazing this year. I can just tell. We've already seen some news for China. So if you have not seen the preview, you should go to our Facebook page Facebook.com/Watchwellcrapins and check it out because the preview for the season looks amazing. Luan is not a full-time member. And I think the rumor is because she held out too long with the contract negotiations and screwed herself out of being a full-time cast member. But the trailer is absolutely amazing. And it's all worth it for the very, very, very, very last shot, which is of Aviva's leg, which is not a tackle to her body. Yeah. It's going to be amazing. And also everybody's calling Carol out every chance they get because of all the shit she talked behind everyone's back last year. But guess what? It's not going to take her down because Carol is like she's she's made it to the cool level of the housewives like it's like Lisa Vanderpump and Carol. Yeah, they're above it and they know they're like sitting there collecting their little check to make somebody else later. Exactly. And there's two more little quick things. Media Takeout is saying world exclusive, world exclusive. We know the real reason that Portia didn't tell Nini about her new house. And Ben, why don't you tell us because I don't want to read the article. According to the article, Bravo is renting Portia's house and it's also renting Nini's house. But the thing is that Portia's house is actually larger than Nini's house. And so Portia was scared to show Nini her house because then she thought Nini would get really jealous in that. But of course, that's exactly what the producers want. Yeah, just like, you know, just like everyone's late again. Oh, really? Because I think they were just driven there late. No one ever knows when they're late, you know? That's why no one ever apologizes. Okay. And then the other thing is the misrepresentation of Mama Joyce. Mama Joyce is going around to Ebony complaining that it's all in the editing and she's really nice. LOL. So was that like CGI when she got up and took off her shoe and tried to attack her? Did they just ship out that footage to Industrial Light and Magic? Was that just all in the editing right there? Yeah, I'm confused. Yeah, she's fucking crazy. I could read all this, but really we have so many shows to talk about. So where do you, where would you like to begin, Ronnie? I would like to begin with the real housewives of Beverly Hills. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Let's get into that, right, y'all. Okay. Vagina Waxing, Brandy's drunk. They took a stripper class. They got so wasted, they couldn't even go into Kim's daughter's party. They just sat out there. Okay. Look, Fatburger. I love that Kyle is the one with a weight problem. First of all, she doesn't really even look fat, but it's fun to call her fat because she thinks she's fat, but that is the one with the weight problem. And every party she's at, she gets fucking Fatburger there for free. How does she do that? Yeah. She does it because she's Call of Richards, and that's the pull that she has. She has ends with Fatburger. She has, listen, she has a lot of punch cards. No kidding. Like Baja Fresh might do my party because I eat a lot of their soup, but come on, Kyle, you can't complain about being fat and then have like your biggest fan be Fatburger. Do you think it was, do you think it was tacky for Brandy and Carlton to sit on the stoop and eat the burgers before going in? Yeah, but they're both horrible. They shouldn't even be on the show. This is the downfall of Beverly Hills that we're watching right now because they're letting these poor idiots on. Like these poor whores who married up instead of like actual rich leathery women. Carlton really is an idiotic twit, and she thinks she's very sophisticated, but she's actually just like a tacky tacky twit. She's terrible. Like every single week is her trying to prove that her vagina is still lubing itself. No one's buying it. No one's buying it. Work more on your moisturizing. But you know, the other thing is that she has a total double standard with these people. I mean, I'm not saying that I love Kyle Richards very much. But that being said, when Brandy is puking in the bathroom, you know, Carlton is very concerned. Whereas if it were Kyle puking, Carl would be like, "I don't have a bloody ensevalage. Just hold it. Why don't you?" You know? She would do that, you know? Well, not only that, but Brandy is sticking her finger down her throat puking. Like, she's not only sick. She's like going into a full, bulimic episode after a Fatburger. I mean, come on. Yeah, and that was by the way some great audio design that was happening right there listening to her puke. I wish I had recorded that. Instead, what I recorded was the sound of Brandy's voice, because Brandy, I don't know if you noticed in one of her interview segments, she's Botoxed her face up so much that she can't talk properly. I've noticed it all season. Like, her lip doesn't move. It's like she's just come from the dentist, but I think it's Botox. And it looks so silly that it bothers me every week, but this week it actually impeded her ability to talk. I'm going to play a sound clip that I recorded of her talking, and her mouth is so frozen that she doesn't sound like she's speaking proper English, or she sounds like she might be like a deaf person, no offense. Okay. Okay. Mm-hmm. I'm pressing play. Notoriously, it always takes forever for this play button to actually work. Huh. You hear that? Yeah. That was Brandy's talking. It sounds like that kid, that famous YouTube video of the kid who's coming back from the dentist. Yeah. That's right. Yeah, I'm going to play it again. Listen to her voice. She's not, she's not slurred because she's drunk, she's slurred because she can't physically open her mouth. It's like you get the visuals. Disgusting. Yeah, this, um, you know, I moved to West Hollywood a few years ago, but I live like on the east side of West Hollywood, which is now turning straight, which thinks a lot straight people. Do they have a mouth? It's technically in mid city, West Hollywood, as they're calling it now. Is that what they're calling it? Because you're on the line, say West Hollywood. I still got a mouth. No, no, no, no. You're in, you're in the mid city of West Hollywood. You're not, you're not in East West Hollywood. Does it go further East? Well, it goes to La Brea. Actually, you're technically, actually, since you are on Fairfax, you're, you're basically right on the border between Mid City and East West Hollywood. Just so you know. Yeah. Well, I think it's like the most ghetto section of East by, I feel like I'm just like right on the cusp and like that's where all the straight people are coming now and now they're even building like all these gigantic condos where there's going to be more of them coming. But anyway, nothing against straight people, most of you. But these, you know, there's a lot, the reason we say the straight people are coming is because there's all these straight bars now and they're very popular with all these young straight people and they're just barfing all over the streets and walking around, all these girls are wasted. First night I moved in here, I was coming home and through my gate, this girl, this kind of like MJ Chunky Girl was bent over barfing in front of my fucking gate and our girlfriends were holding her hair back. And then they just walked on. I was like, welcome to fuck home. My point is, that's what I feel like is happening to the real housewives family heels. I feel like you're just buzzing in awful straight people and they're way too old to be acting like that. Well, I, well, especially in Carlton's case, I mean, Carlton, she really brings nothing to the table except a hideous tattoo in the back of her neck. And her tramp stamp that looks like hair, it looks like a big hairy mole. So you know, I have to say, Joyce, who is one of the new members who you're speaking of, in the beginning of the season, I didn't like her. I found her to be very fake or whatever, but I am finding myself repeating me on her side. No! Yes. Oh my God, I wish Matt was here to yell at you. No, I think he would be too. You know why? But Brandy is obnoxious to her, Brandy is truly obnoxious to her and Joyce is fake and she is like a robot and she's annoying. But the truth is that when she gets pushed, she, with the exception of when she had the issue with Lisa's hair or whatever, she stands up for herself very well and she's very to the point. And I think that her points are all valid too and I think that Brandy has been completely in the wrong during all of this. And I think it's fine for Joyce to call her, maybe not a bully, I don't like the whole bully thing, but like, yeah, I think it's fine for her to say the racist thing because Brandy did say some of that like if you don't really know her very well, you might think that she is kind of racist. Yeah, but the thing is like if you get in a fight with someone like Brandy, you just say, you know, you're a stupid, you know, you're a stupid drunk, you make racist comments and you're an idiot. But Joyce doesn't do that. It's like every week. Oh no, but you're racist. I am black. I was bullied in high school. I was bullied. I'm black. I'm black. I'm black. I'm black. If she says I'm black one more fucking time. So just watch her drop into blood, sweat, and heels for like five seconds. Well, you know, I'm not saying that Joyce is without her faults. I'm just saying that if I had to compare the two on the idiot scale, I feel like Joyce is actually coming out on top of Brandy. Brandy is awful, but Joyce is giving Brandy even more to do. Like if you think about it, really all Brandy has had to do is this nonsense with Joyce. And if she didn't have it, she would just be drunk and losing her job, basically. She has nothing else going on. And I'm off for that Brandy needs to go, Carleton needs to go, Joyce needs to go. They need to get rid of all those bitches and bring just either bring back the old ones or get some new horrible hags who like have some kind of brains. I mean, come on. Yeah. They're making a look. Camille looks smart. I know. I will say that there really are not a lot of brains going on in general with this cast. And that also goes by the way for our dear Kim Richards, who had a graduation party, which we mentioned before. By the way, and side note, Carleton going there and asking for booze like repeatedly was again, she's attacking to it. Because if someone did that to her, if she were sober and if she were throwing a party for destiny or mystery or black cat or whatever other kid's name is, she would flip the fuck out. Like, are you really going to ask me about booze, really? But instead she's saying they're asking for cocktails at Alex's house. You know, I was a vegan for two weeks, okay? If you came over to my house and I served you some tofu mayonnaise, you'd be pissed. Like, I'm still inviting you to my house for a party. I'm going to serve you some fucking cake. Well, you're vegan. Listen, listen, you're vegan by choice. It's not like you had an addiction to non-vegan food. I have an addiction to M&M's and if I'm giving up M&M's and you still want some, I don't have a right to be pissed at you for wanting some fucking M&M's. Kim, look, it's like I said. No, no, no, no. It's not that we're not saying that Kim should have been pissed at Carleton. Kim wasn't really even pissed. It's more like Carleton should not have been so stupid to ask once. Ask once. It's fine to ask once, you know, because sometimes there are people who do have, you know, who are in recovery, but still are fine. They serve booze, whatever. Listen, if I have to go to one of your children's bullshit parties and no fucking adult wants to go to, okay, we're all going because we have to have your kid a hundred for whatever goddamn reason and you're not going to even serve me booze because you feel like being sober. I'm sick of Kim whining and crying all the time about her alcoholism. Alcoholism is not a disease. Catheter is a disease. Alcoholism is a lifestyle choice. All right? Well, Ronnie, you're walking on some-- Well, Ronnie, you're definitely, you may be walking a line here. I don't know if I would agree with you on that one. I think that alcoholism could be-- Well, you don't have to. I'm sick of people whining because they spent so much time being alcoholics. Listen, if you can get over that and you can make a good life yourself, congratulations. Congratulations for you on getting sober. I'm not saying don't get sober. I'm saying stop fucking blaming everybody else. Like, you were stricken down with downs, okay? Well, you're not supposed to fucking-- You chose to fucking be a drunk, okay? Not anybody else, so stop acting like it was just something that you got struck down with. Well, I think it's a little blurry in that front because, yes, you may have started the drinking or whatever, but then if you're an alcoholic, I mean, you physically can't. It's like it's not like, oh, I'm choosing to just, it's just more complicated than saying it's a choice. But that's regardless. It is. Even if it becomes a major addiction that you throw your life away on, it is a choice. It's a personal choice. You can choose to not be an alcoholic. I know that that's not a popular thing to say, but look at all the people who are no longer alcoholics. Well, no, I know what you're saying. You can choose to stop drinking and go into recovery, et cetera. I think it's more like when you're drinking, sometimes the choice is no longer. You no longer have that choice. Well, yeah, because you've chosen to be drunk so many times that you're now an addict. Right. Or you may be predisposed. Look, I know how fucking horrible that sounds. And I come from a family where there is a lot of alcoholism. So I think that that's where a lot of it comes from because I'm so sick of fucking excuses. Like, if you're going to be drunk your whole life, you don't get to say like, we've suffered from the repercussions of that. And now you don't get to come in and play the sympathy part. That's where you're right. You mean? No, you're right there because the whole thing with 12 steps is that like one of the steps you have to apologize to everyone. And you have to apologize and you can't like hold anything back. You can't be like, well, it's not a conditional thing. It's like you have to apologize because the thing is that like the way you treat people. And so that's why when Kim later on, when she starts up with Lisa about not coming to the party, because Lisa did not go to the graduation party because she was in Missouri for an appearance. Then she came back, she landed and then went to dinner at Sir, whatever. And Lisa had already said that she wasn't going, she'd already RSVPed that she wasn't going. But Kim still was nagging her about it after Lisa had sent Kimberly a Tiffany pen, no less. The point is that at one point can, first of all, he goes, oh, stop it, Kim. And then he mentions, you know, there have been plenty of things that you didn't show up for. And then she says, well, that's not very nice. That's not nice of you to say. That was like really out of line. But no, Kim, you have to accept that that's actually... Yeah. And then she starts crying and pulling that victim card. And that's what I'm saying. It's like... That's not... The first few seasons of this show, and I know that she was like really into her full alcoholism and all of that, but she's missing things left and right. People are waiting for her for two hours. Every episode it's waiting for Kim to show up somewhere for two hours. She doesn't show up to Lisa's daughter's wedding as we found out from the Bravo Ball Office. And she said she was going to go. There was an MTC, which is different from Lisa saying RSVPing two weeks prior saying, I'm not going to go to your daughter's graduation party. Yeah. So I think I've made my... I mean, I think that my point is clear, even if it's shitty, like my point is, congratulations on getting your shit together, but you don't get to like get on a pedestal and start acting better than everybody else when you flaked out on everything since you were 10. Yes. So shut up, Kim. Yes. On that point, I agree. I agree. I think that Kim was 100% wrong. And I love the way that Kim dealt with it. He was just totally dismissive. I was like, oh please, oh please, come on, Kim, come on. He's like, no, no. Well, it was kind of a dick move, you know, now I'm going to totally change because that's how I roll, but it was kind of a dick move on his part because he was pretty much calling her an alcohol. No, no. I actually don't think... I feel like he was saying there's plenty of stuff Kim hasn't showed up for. No way. She never showed up anywhere because she was a drunk. I mean, that's been a... I actually don't think... I actually don't think that's what he was... I don't think it was that thought ahead. I think like she has not shown up to a lot of things, including their daughter's wedding, where they had paid for a seat for her. They had paid for her meal, whatever. And so for her to start talking about this, when they had RSVP'd, no, and they had sent a gift, which is above and beyond the protocol, then for her to complain about that, I think yeah, he's just probably like, well, you know what, you haven't shown up to a lot of things. The implication is including our daughter's wedding, not because you were an alcoholic. That's her own guilty conscience for her to take it to that place. Yeah, I'm not sure about that. I think it was kind of a dick move on his part, but I liked it because I really... I'm sick of this victim shit. Like take some responsibility. She still has an apologize for a lot of that shit that went on, at least on camera. Right. So I don't know, I'm just kind of generally sick of it. It's like I get that you got yourself out of a pickle, congratulations, but nobody owes you anything. I make your daughter's fucking graduation, give me a beer. Thanks. Yeah. So then this is all happening. There's like breakfast session at Lisa's. And we have yet another attempt for Brandy and Joyce to reconcile. And so the way it begins is Brandy sits down and says, listen, I have three things I have to say to you, and I'd like to say them before you speak. So she says these three things, but like I'm not a racist. I say, I am like, I say stupid things, and you said this to me, blah, blah, blah. And then Joyce starts to speak, and Brandy shuts her down and starts accusing Joyce of speaking, talking at her all the time. Did that drive you? That drove me absolutely crazy. I hate when people do that. Yes, but Joyce is the same thing. Brandy's thing took five seconds, and then Joyce started her, I am black monologue again. Like, listen, this is not 12 years of slave. Cut it out. Yeah. Stop acting like you are Oprah in the color purple. Stop it. It is not the same thing. Joyce. Stop it. And so I can see why Brandy, you know, I think part of the reason that people do still like Brandy against all odds is because she does speak for us kind of. It's like, Joyce needs to just be told to shut the fuck up. She does, the black, when she starts talking about that, she is black. That's really annoying. Where she was bullied. Like you're a fucking Miss America, whatever the hell you are, shut up. You know, I don't care whether or not she's bullied or not, but I think, though, that Brandy was such a heinous bitch to her. I mean, here's this woman hosting them, quote unquote, host, and we know it's bravo. And Brandy keeps calling her Joyce, and she's like, listen, please stop calling me that because honestly, as a kid, like people really made fun of me, and they called me Joyce. That was where they'd make fun of me. And I think that's like a reasonable thing to say to someone. Please stop calling me that. And then Brandy keeps doing it and then says it's an old fat, like ladies name or whatever, old fat pig. Oh, Brandy's a drunk idiot. Brandy's a drunk idiot. You're like, what? And I just don't understand what Brandy's saying back is totally right. But what I don't understand is, I think what really pissed me off is that like, it's such a stupid thing, and why Brandy was so adamant about not apologizing it for it for so long. Really annoying me. And this whole racist thing, unfortunately, I think confused the matter because that's really not what it was about. I'm just like, why can't you apologize for something? You were so blatantly in the wrong. This is basically like when Kyle and Kim were bitches to Brandy at game night back in season two. It's like, they were so obviously wrong. Like, why can't you see you were being that bitch to Joyce, you know? And it really pissed me off that it's like, so simple. We didn't have to go through all these scenes over and over again. Just apologize, you stupid lady. Yeah, I'm sick of listening to Joyce, and I don't feel bad for her. I like seeing Brandy kind of bully her. But it is true, Brandy is kind of bullying her and, you know, starting that whole dinner with, well, we have a couple of friends that comment and they don't speak highly of you. Yeah, exactly. It's like, you know, I don't feel bad for Brandy at all. And so I'm glad to see Joyce giving it back. I just don't like Joyce, you know, saying she's black over and over. I find that highly offensive. Joyce is about bullied because people called you Joyce. Bitch, you know what bullying is? I mean, this podcast is getting dramatic enough today, so I won't go there. But it is not some pretty skinny girl being made fun of by like Cholas. Okay, bitch, it's like getting beat up every day of your life. All right. It's not like some little thing that like a beautiful skinny girl got made fun of one day in school. Bulling is a serious fucking thing. Shut the fuck up. And you know what being black is a really serious thing too. Those people still have to deal with like years and years of history that, you know, I mean, it's like just using a black and like take upon black history because Puerto Ricans like have a little black and I'm shut the fuck up, you fucking idiot. I hope Brandy does knock her fucking teeth down, I throw it over her. Yeah. But you know, I will say this though. I mean, I also I can't stand the the overuse of the term bullying. But you know, at the same time, like I wasn't like as a kid, I wasn't like hardcore bullied or anything, but there I was definitely made fun of. And I wouldn't say like the way I was made fun of compares at all to like a kid getting beaten up or I never was like pants. I never had like a wedgie or anything like that. Like that's like the classic bullying was never like that. But you know, when you're made fun of like you feel like shit, like I love by the way that we're I'm talking about this on a podcast where we essentially make fun of people. Well, this is what happens. You make fun of people. The cycle continues. So. Yeah, but we're making fun of old stupid Haggs who marry rich guys who matter if I want TV or attention horse. We were just going to school like we had my law, but when you're a kid and you're made fun of like it really does hurt and it like it does stick with you. And I actually whether she was like bullied with a capital B or just made fun of her cheese, I respect Joyce wanting to like saying please don't call me Joyce, like it's a very simple request. That's fine. But if Joyce was as classy as she thinks she is, she would just ignore Brandy and say like that girl was classless. Like I'm not. I think she was screaming match with some drunk idiot. I've worn him every Christmas and I'm not going to get into him on national TV to get a little attention. I mean, this is when she started to start a fight with Lisa about getting her hair flicked at her. Listen, I think that's what I think that's what Joyce did actually in Palm Spring. She was like, try to take the higher road. And afterwards, she was probably like, um, what the fuck is wrong with you? We hired you for a reason. Get back in there. And this time, like don't come out to one of you guys is dead. You know, like. Or Kyle sat on the phone with her and brought it up over and over again. Yeah, exactly. So, um, this conversation has gotten so deep for what we're talking about. I mean, it was basically another hour of vagina waxing, although we should visit Kim Richard's speech to her daughter because that was pretty amazing. Yeah. Let's hear what like, can you maybe, uh, re and re recreate it for us? You guys, thank you so much for coming. Count is my daughter. She is such a pretty girl. You guys, have you seen that? Hey, have you seen my necklace in my wing and that was Hey, has anybody seen my necklace? Hey, here it is. Thank God. Kings. Even talking about, and what was that whole thing about? Well, I wanted to have a Coachella party, but then Kathy went to Buckingham Palace. What? I know. Ben, let's talk about article. I just moved into a new house and it is really hard to find quality furniture that honestly, I can afford without feeling terribly guilty. I found the most beautiful stuff on article. I got three bar stools for this bar I built and they are gorgeous. They're mid-century modern brown leather seats. Just beautiful. And not only are they great, but they brought them over and they put them together. It was white glove service from beginning to end. 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To claim, visit article.com/crapins and the discount will be automatically applied at checkout. That's article.com/crapins for $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. This episode is sponsored by DoorDash. We're back to tell you more about the latest Dash Pass annual plan benefit, stream max with ads included at no extra cost. You know what's a great night for us? Ordering DoorDash and cuddling up to watch the max original hacks. Which won best comedy deservedly so and we'd love tuning in to see not only icon Gene Smart but the wonderful and incomparable Rose Abdu who also is a huge Bravo fan. Listen, I'm always in the mood for hacks but you never know what kind of food I'm in the mood for it. Sometimes it's pizza. Sometimes it's a salad and I can get both with DoorDash. How about some ice cream? That's what I like to eat with my hacks. A hundred percent. I will double Dash. I will get a salad and then double Dash some ice cream. Why not? Sign up for a Dash Pass annual plan and get max included at no extra cost. It's your door to more. Max is now included with your Dash Pass annual plan. Stream max with ads up to $120 value included at no extra cost. From supply, see DoorDash.com/maxfor details. What is the queen doing with the Hilton family in that castle? Isn't the queen's reputation terrible enough without spreading scabies to whoever? Well, she was just going to Buckingham Palace. It's probably the name of some casino often like upstate New York. Buckingham Palace. Paris was spinning there. Yeah. Also, let's talk about for one second how hot Kim's ex-husband is. Oh my goodness. Oh my God. Yeah, that guy was hot. What was he? How did she land that? That was serious. Yeah. He was like kind of Rob Lowe, right? Yeah. He was very, very attractive. He's a dill as they'd call him. Yeah. He was really cute. I felt bad that she'd let him go. Yeah. So why don't we move on to Lighter Fair in the form of Vanderpomf Rules. Yay. So wait, here's the news update. In case none of you guys listened to banter with Ben and Lisa and my other podcast which you should also be listening to. I went to Sur last week for dinner for a happy hour with Lisa Timmons because it was her birthday and others. And guess who was our waitress? Shina. Shina. Shina. Azusa's fine. Shina. Okay. So here's the rundown. Here's my experience at Sur. We get there. Everyone in the lounge is like old. They're all old tourists because the BCS which is a football game, there's a football game that was the night before at the Rose Bowl. And so it was like these were tourists that were in to see that. And they were like, oh, let's go see that. Let's go see Sur where Vanderpomf Rules is. So it was all these old tourists in there who were trying very hard to look cool. So as a result, they were standing around like mannequins, a hand on their hip and sort of looking around slowly. Which by the way is not unlike my standard pose, but it was just funny to see all these old people. Taking pictures of Shina and there's a really hot bartender that works there who's not on the show. I mean, this guy hotter than Jax, in my opinion, hotter than Jax hotter than Tom. He was like, he had like a beard and glasses, it was like, it's worth the trip to Sur just to see this. Oh, she was bringing a little East side into Sur. Yeah, no, it was like, no, he didn't look that East side, it was just sexy. So anyway, he served me a glass of sparkling wine. There was a chip in the glass, so he gave me a new glass, which I appreciated that he saw it before he handed it to me. What I didn't appreciate was that my new Stemware was totally dirty and in fact that was a recurring theme with all of our Stemware was that most of it was like had like thumb prints on it or like we're sticky. Oh, no, that was kind of gross. But well, maybe that show will do so well that they'll make a spin off about the dishwashers in the back and you can find out what the fuck is going on back then. Yeah, exactly. It's called Guillermo's guys. So Guillermo was there, by the way, he was being the DJ and Tom was a bartender. And then Sheena was our waitress and the truth is that she was actually very attentive. I actually felt she was a really good waitress, it's shocking, but they were very, very attentive and they were a little mixed up. At one point they brought us to Vadka Soda's back instead of one and then Sheena was like, oh, you can just have it. So I appreciate that. It was actually a fun happy hour, so good for Sur. And she said that all the girls are getting along right now, but we should wait until the season finale because Sheena get real. Oh my God. Even a realer? Well, God. Unless someone slits Katie's throat, I don't even want to know. Katie's towards face number one, right? No. Katie's towards face number two. Oh, sorry. It's she's number one is Kristen. You guys think I have to know or like Tom and Ariana, like I just have to know. Like I have to know, like seriously, seriously, like, I mean, I don't feel like this is going to happen. Basically, this is a guy I thought I was going to be mowering and now like every time I do anything with him, I have to think of like whether or not he's been cheating on me, like seriously, seriously, like, I'm sorry, but like everyone's hotter. It's her. Sorry. Yeah. So this week is still Stassi's work with just hilarious and crap. This is, you know what, like this is just this show, this shows a real gem. It's like a gem assuming you can make a gem out of pure feces. It's like someone took some hard feces and molded it into a gem. Like you can squeeze that feces so hard that it turns into cubics. Yeah. You know, like, you know, it's like you can, you can't put lipstick on a pig or something like that or apparently you can. You can put a lot of lipstick on a pig. If you put a, turns out, if you put a whole bunch of lipstick on a pig, you basically make the pig really slutty. It's like a, it's like a great pig. Yeah. It's still a pig and at least it's making an effort. It's like, it's like a pig that you just sort of like want to look at and laugh at and you feel better about yourself after you look at the pig. So you're right. This was back at the birthday party. I think the last episode ended at this like, at the dinner party where Katie went off crying because, you know, her boyfriend had poured a drink on her the night before. Naturally, as it happens, as well, as one happens. So what I loved is that so Katie runs off crying and Stossy then gets mad. Stossy goes storming through this, like, this resort, finds Katie and is like, you left. You left. You didn't even order a drink or an appetizer. You left. How could you do that to me? It's my birthday. Like I didn't realize that part of like the Stossy experience was the enjoyment of watching everyone order an appetizer. Yeah, that they're going to be paying for later. Yeah, exactly. Like I actually was with Katie. Like, wouldn't she rather have the woman who's crying, just leave the table and be done with it? God. She, that was hilarious because, of course, Stossy, she can't just let someone else have a fit and be like, well, fuck her. It's my birthday. Let's get drunk. She has to be like, I'm going to find her. It is my birthday. That's it. The party's over. I'm going to bed. This is over. I'm done. Yeah. Oh, jeez. That was because she just wanted everyone to come up to her and like pull out her comfort and be like, nah, Stossy, you're like the best. Like we wanted you to come party and you know, no, no, no, no. But I loved how when Stossy was yelling at Katie, she's like, you are selfish and you only think about yourself. Says the girl who is like complaining about her party. Like... Not only that, the girl who makes everybody travel to another country just to celebrate her fucking birthday. Yeah, exactly. The one who last week said like, y'all should be thanking me because if I wasn't born today, none of you would be in Mexico right now. It's like Jesus' birthday only. Like we get wasted. Nobody pretends they're a fucking virgin. I know. Thank me. I know she goes, what's the point of trying to be a really good person? It just doesn't make sense. Like you're like trying to be a really good person? I don't know when the trying ever sort is. What was that? What was the trying happened? I love that. I don't even know why I'm trying to be a good person because I should just still be a good bitch because it doesn't change anything. So that was amazing. Another great part was Jack's. Yes. So I mean, I just love we are getting to see how horrible Jack's is like, he gets worse every week and I just love it. Truly stupid. Truly stupid. So Jack's is like, oh hey guys, I'm going to go talk to Stacey because it's your birthday. I want to give her attention and Stacey of course is like, well, if you want to make me happy on my birthday. Tell me the truth. And then you told me about Tom sleeping with that girl in Vegas and he's like, okay, I did. And she's like, well, first he's like, first he's like, he's like, no, no, that's a lie. That's a lie. She's like, Jack's like, that's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. Jack's. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, it happened. So of course, Stacey immediately on her birthday, she doesn't want to be ruined. It goes up and tells horseface number one that her boyfriend did in fact cheat with her and Jack's spread is like, which by the way, this is, this is the greatest birthday you give to, you can give to Stacey is her for her to go and destroy people's lives and make people cry. So this is with just like, she should be, even though she's not on the show, she should be on the poster for the new season of Glee because that is a face filled with Glee. I mean, that is the happiest I think I've ever seen her. So well, what I loved though was that, um, then the next day, she know, well, of course there was some, there was Chris and one crunch, she's, but then the next day, she comes into the men's room or I'm not the, not the bathroom, but like where the, where the guys are sleeping and everything. And she totally blows up Jack's spot and Jack's is like telling us like, why'd you have to do that? Why'd you do that? But I loved it. She knew it was basically like, well, you like started World War three because you told all the girls what I said about them in the van. So I'm going to come and blow up your spot. And I was, I was like, you know, that's another high five to Sheena first. She's a good waitress. And then she does this. I was very proud of her. Yeah. Sheena doesn't seem like an awful person. She's still like, she's still like awful, but she's not as awful. As awful. Yeah. And I love that when, when Sheena asks, when she asks Jack, like what he said to Sasan before, he's like, I didn't tell her anything. You're such an idiot. You are such a total idiot. Like he is a minbo or himbo, whatever they call it. Yeah. He's just going to deny, deny, deny even in front of Stacey's face, which is so hilarious. And even though cameras just totally caught him. Yeah. Exactly. And then I love he goes, the way he sort of like deals with, he goes, well, look, if something was taken miss out of context, then I'll tell you one thing. I hate when things are taken miss out of context. I wish Katie had heard that because, you know, she knows all about conjugations of verbiage. It should be like a new drag queen name, miss out of context. I know. So they're like, hey, everybody, do not enter. Like what? Like you'll never know what she's talking about. So then all these idiots go on a booze cruise, a stationary booze cruise on a pirate ship. And my favorite part of it was that they're all partying and everything. And at one point, I don't know if you caught this, Ronnie, the cameras cut to Tom looking sad because he's in the dog house. He's like sat and he looks over at a pelican and they cut to the pelican and the pelican looks away and it cuts back to Tom and Tom's like all sad. It's like not even the pelican wants to have it. The dog is like, squawk, why don't you tell him that, Ariana? Or Tom? And it looks like next week we find out that he really did sleep with her because it looks like Ariana's sitting on the toilet or something, while Chris is like, you hire, you suck with my boyfriend. And she's like, I'm not going to throw him under the bus. Like, oh, no. But first of all, can you let the woman pee? I know. Ariana, though, I don't even care if she's up with Tom because she's so much better than all these girls. She's like smarter. She's nicer. She's cooler. She's a better employee. Yeah. She's pretty cool. I don't care. She'll always win. Yeah. Yeah. So win, just because she can argue. And the rest of her mind-- Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Well, her only argument is to be dismissive. She's like, yeah. So whatever. Get out of my face. And then, like, Chris would be like, seriously? Seriously? Like, I don't even-- I can't even talk to you right now. Like, seriously? I mean, something you're drunk. Well, I love that Stassi-- I mean, Jax-- Jax's revenge on Stassi for ruining his trip was to bring all these 20-year-olds onto the boat, which is hilarious, and she immediately kicks him off. Yeah. And then, he brings them to the bar later again. And she-- they just ignore them again. And then, he ends up fucking like some 18-year-old. Oh. It looks like a little Stassi minus the Shannon plant. Well, personally, I liked when he tried to bring the 20-year-olds onto the boat. The 20-year-olds were clearly rounded up by the producers. And I like that, like, you know, all Stassi's minions come to her side. I love that Kristen. Ooh. It's phase number one. It's like-- she goes up to the quote-unquote "scang." She's like, it's a private boat ride. It's a private boat ride. Like, first of all, the boat's not riding, and it's, like, not private at all, actually. And there's, like, three people on it. So if you think this is a good party, you better check your self-worse face. [LAUGHTER] It's a private boat ride. Like, I just see her down at Marina Del Rey, just being a bouncer. No, you can't come down here and-- let's go with a different boat. Different yacht. Oh, those people are so fucking stupid. I love it. I was laughing the entire episode this time. Yeah, me too. And, in fact, because there are also so many great quotes that if you really took them out of context, you'd be like, how is this quote even possible? Like when Stassi said, my undies are going to sail around Mexico on an old pirate ship. [LAUGHTER] Or later, when they went to the bar, and Stassi goes, "Jack, we didn't want to hang out with you and your scanks on my fun pirate ship, but then you thought things would be different on Squid Row?" Oh, my God. Oh, my God, what are these people talking about, what do they say? Last week was still my favorite of this, just watching that cast react to the Real House as it Beverly Hills cast. I think that that was probably one of my favorite Vanderpump rules moments ever. I am looking up right now couples. By the way, also, I have to say, I also liked how after Stassi just basically bitched out Jack's at Squid Row, that then he, in his interview, he's like, "Well, the fact that she's going to yell at me shows me that she still kind of cares." I'm like, "You really are very stupid, Jack's very first stupid." Yeah, he's going to show he cares with like 10 fucking idiots on his arm. Stupid. So the big, by the way, the big thing, the way the episode ended was that so Kristen is furious at Tom because it's been confirmed by Jack's that Tom had told Jack that he'd slept with Ariana, and we don't know if that's true. That's just what Jack's is saying. Jack's made it up just to get himself in with Stassi. So Kristen is now hitting on Tom and says that she's going to move out, and this is it. They're going to break up. So what she do is she gets drunk at Squid Row and crawls into Tom's bed and wakes up in bed with him. And then the girls are really pissed, and they're yelling at her, and I actually kind of, I understood it, like I would be pissed too, like if you're going to like complain and cry a weekend and go back into his bed, it's just like, "Shut the fuck up bitch and get out of our lives." Yeah, for real, but they all do it. They all do it. I mean, Stassi at least really did break up with Jack's. Yeah, but she just became her complaining about Frank. I mean, it's like the same thing, these women. One thing I really do wonder is this, what has happened to women? Because frankly, we should have way more gay guys on our team, if this is what women are really like, because they are awful. They're awful. Well, they do is bitch out their boyfriends for no reason over and over again. Yeah, I was thinking that if Kristen does actually break up with Tom and she's single again, what would she be like as a date, what would a guy want to date her, could she be charming, could she be fun, would she be nice, isn't this show just ruining Kristen for all future lovers? Is that why she's clinging on to Tom? I think that she realizes that she got a guy who's way prettier than her, and that's never going to happen again. I mean, unless she gets pregnant. And how about her making an ultimatum to Lisa, either Ariana or Ariana or I'm going to quit? Well, why the hell didn't Lisa just say, "Bye darling, click." Yeah, any boss would fire her, right? Yeah, why didn't she just get fired? Is she really that important to the show? She doesn't do anything but stomp around with the horse face and cry. Seriously, like, I cannot work with Ariana, like, seriously? Seriously? Seriously. Yeah, she needs to be hurt. She needs to drown in a hot tub. She needs to run over by a pirate ship. So what else happened on this show? Nothing else. Okay, let's move on because I'm starting to hate it now. Don't hate it. It's like the best. It's my favorite show. But I do want to be a drag queen called Miss Out of Context. I'm real housewives of Atlanta real quick, even though we probably don't have that much to say about it. Because again, that show is just so entertaining to me that I don't really even write down any notes or anything. I just laughed. Yeah, there actually was not really anything that happened. I mean, Kenya's dad came into town, which, and he was like, "Any things that women shouldn't tell men what to do?" Oh, that was amazing. He's like, "Well, is this your car? Oh, this car. Oh, this your house. Oh, this has it. Oh, this your living. Who tastes this, this house is disgusting." And then he has the nerve to tell Nini Leaks, "Oh, woman don't tell a man what to do. You are lucky you haven't met Nini Leaks." Yeah, exactly. The other thing is that Kenya and Todd got into a little fight because he wants to take a job, which means that he won't be able to produce her play that's going to go on the chitlin circuit as they say. So Kenya started to crash. She's like, "Now, see, rally." He likes to play, but don't be the one to stay and don't let the play be the one that's keeping you here. If you want to go up there, like, "See, I don't think you should leave if you don't believe me. I don't think any factory rally." I felt so bad for her because she's saying, "Don't let me be the reason that you stay." When he's not even considering staying, it wasn't even part of the conversation. He was just like, "Well, I'd love to help you out, but no one knows what they're doing, so I might take this job somewhere else, and I'm going to be an India and Pakistan for years." Yeah, it's not like Candy Bursts is the next coming of Edward Albee here, so I think Todd's got the right idea. Or even the next coming of Tyler Perry, because that's how he started with those big musicals. I know. So that's what I remember those, were you still on the East Coast when they had all of those? Well, I mean, I never saw them, but I knew of them. They would always be like those local commercials, and they're like, "Big mama goes to church!" It's like these big revival shows, and it would be like a painting of a house, and then everything would go on folding chairs in front of the house, and that became Tyler Perry. The only reason why I knew who Tyler Perry was is because there's this actor named Terrell Carter, who has appeared in a bunch of his plays, and Terrell Carter is super, super, super hot, and I came across them on some site where they were like, "Check out Terrell Carter, he's hot," whatever, and so then I, of course, stalked him, and I found oh, he's in a bunch of these plays, like this guy named Tyler Perry, and I looked at some video clips like, "Plays look so stupid and so bad," and then, of course, Tyler Perry became Tyler Perry. Wow. And Terrell Carter, well, he's still hot, I have to say. Well, luckily, Tyler Perry could be successful because he didn't have Kenya's father. Yeah. Who made this play? This is stupid. Next you're going to make a casting for three hours. This is still what a terrible play. I know. Well, it sounds like Kenya's dad has a good taste. Yeah. Yeah. The other thing that happened, the only other real thing that happened was that Nini told Porsche that she was a bad friend at Cynthia's sister's trunk show. Man, I couldn't bring myself to care, really. Yeah, it was such a stupid thing. It was like shocker, and Nini's making someone cry. Yeah, exactly. And, Mel, by the way, I do think it's actually shitty for that woman to show up at Cynthia's door, and be like, "Oh, guess what? Guess what, then Cynthia? I'm going to be here for two months." So, you know, just get ready for me. I'm like, "No, it doesn't work the way, Mel. Even if you are sisters." Yeah. I'm not buying any of that. And if that even really did happen, you know that Cynthia told her to come to get back at her husband passively for spending all her money on a car that he didn't marry. Yeah, exactly. So, yeah, I don't buy that. But for whatever reason, I really don't ever care to talk about it much, but God, it's funny. I love that one so much. I've just laughed my ass off. And Porsche buying a house is hilarious. Yeah. And Phaedra getting revenge on that fucking chauvinist by talking for five minutes about how tiny his dick is. Oh, yeah. Good for them. Yeah. That was pretty amazing. Phaedra had, I wish I'd written down. Phaedra had some fantastic line about how small his dick was, because that guy was an asshole for him. You know, he was clearly just covering his tracks. Like, he did not want Monique to know that he had like feelings for them or something like that. He was like, "Well, you know, I had a bunch of girls, and you're just part of the team." Like, "No, no, no, no." And even if that's true, that's like, why would, that's not like a good thing to be, like, admitting. Yeah, to the mother of your children. And also, he basically just admitted that everything they said was true. So I don't, I don't understand what his point was, but now everybody in America is talking about how small your dick is. So well done. Yeah, exactly. And the funny thing is that I don't think Phaedra and Candy care, like they weren't like trying to be like, "We used to be something." They're just like, "Oh, yeah. We, you know, we hit that." And, you know, whatever. Like they don't care. That's like in the past 20 years ago. Well, next week we get a little taste of some other woman coming into the scene and talking about how Todd is an opportunist. Oh, yeah. I'm looking forward to this. That'll be good. And then trying to deny it. I'll let Jax right after she said it. So that should be good because Candy's going to break it down. So that should be some fun times. That'll be really good. So now we can finally get to what we've been dying to talk about this whole, well, first of all, no wait. Before we get to that, 100 days of summer began, this new show on Bravo about living in Chicago. And I was just going to ignore it because we heard it was terrible. But someone on our Facebook page was like, "Oh, you guys have to watch a show." So I downloaded it. Oh, no, no, no, no. Okay. It's terrible. There's a gay guy with a fake chin who's trying to be Jeff Lewis, but he's terrible. And he rolls his head while he talks and like waves his finger. And he has penis art. Like his artwork is like of all these penises hugging and stuff. So he's terrible. And Bravo is trying to carry on the tradition of horrible gays. So a few for that. The black guy says things like, "Some of the times in Chicago is that she isn't it." No. So black people, black men are now being ruined by Bravo. So thanks. Bravo's attacking again. Yeah. What else did I have to say here? You know what? There's like a really midgety, chewy guy who thinks he's really hot and he's a club promoter, which high club promoting isn't hot. That's a job like 20 year olds get when they first move to LA and they show guys tits and get them free drinks at bars and make like $5 an hour. So I don't know how that's become a huge career, but apparently it is for this guy. It's kind of like a George Costanza who does push-ups. And the show's basically about how all these girls want to have sex with him. And I basically never want to go to Chicago. Yeah. It's a terrible show. I saw a preview of it, like a half an hour preview back in December. And I was like, this is just, these are just very annoying people. I don't care about them. Silence. I'm not going to... Hello? The show is so bad that it just completely stopped our podcast. Oh no, I'm still here. Okay, so you saw a 30 minute preview of it and what now? Oh no, it was just awful. Just awful, awful, awful. No, we're not going to... We're not talking about this show. This is over. This is over. A hundred days of summer gets a hundred seconds of podcast time and those seconds have expired now. Well, there's a girl who looks kind of like Gretchen and she's like, no one expects me to be smart because I'm hot, but you know, there's not many stupid people in Mensa. But then it's like, you look at her face like she looks like she's going to look like Gretchen, but then she really looks like Vicki and it's like, is this how it is in Chicago? Because... She's like, now excuse me while I go get my vagina waxed. We're going to take a post dripping class, get out of here. That's so stupid. Terrible, boo. Won't be back. The show that I am loving right out of the gate is Blood, Sweat, and Heels, which I actually was not going to watch, but it got such huge premier numbers that I thought, you know what, I'm going to give it a look and I'm so glad I did. I am loving this show. Do you like it, Ronnie? Yes. And I wasn't going to watch it either. I just thought, oh God, man. I was still mad at the new Atlanta, so I wasn't going to watch it, but it is so good. It's really funny and I love the group of women that got together because it is a totally underrepresented, I think, totally group on TV. I mean, it's like a group of black women who do not need men and they have jobs. Yeah, and they're like women shows on TV. Yeah, and actually I would actually say that most of the cast seems sort of like intelligent, you know, like definitely like the blogger Demetria, she seems smart. I mean, she's a little bullheaded, but she's smart and I'm actually really on her side with all these things. And Geneva, who has sort of like a very unfortunate weave going on, she actually seems smart too, even though she wants that now, she's the one with like the, she looks like what's her face that that comedian, Lonnie Love in a bad weave, sort of, you know, what was her plot line? Geneva is the one she got into a fight with Demetria at the dinner, at the dinner party. Which one? Oh, the one that she's a writer. She's a writer. She's a writer. The one that they say looks like Wesley Snipes. I died because she really does look like Bob Snipes and drag. So there's her. I think that she actually seems good. She's good. I like her too. Yeah. Her mom is a sex therapist. Yeah. And then there's also, there's Melissa Ford, who was a video vixen, who she doesn't seem like she's like that smart, but I'm actually the worst. But I'm actually finding, I actually am enjoying her storyline because you know what, if she were living in Atlanta, she would be parading around as if she were a real estate agent, as if she were excellent at all this shit. And she's not. And whereas in this show, she's like, she sucks at being a real estate agent and everyone's telling her like, you're sucking at this. And she's like, I've got no money. And I'm like, I kind of feel like that's refreshing as opposed to typical bullshit we always see on the new Atlanta, real house with Atlanta or marriage medicine where people acting like they're like Donald Trump, you know. Well, I think it's funny because she's like, oh, I was in all these videos and they made me rich. And I'm a star. And my ex boyfriend was low. Did she say her ex boyfriend was low writer? Slow writer. Slow writer. No, Melissa Ford was sort of famous. Like, please tell me that there's not a rapper named low writer because I'll just have to call up and stop rap. Slow writer. Slow writer. Now she, I mean, Melissa Ford was like a name. Like, I definitely, I wouldn't have recognized her, but I've definitely heard the name Melissa Ford. You know, so she's like, yeah, well, I don't want to just be a dumb model in music videos anymore. I need to move up in the world. I'm going to be on a reality show. Yeah. She's like, I'm gonna be a dumb model in real estate. Yeah, that's a slightly higher than lateral moves. Yeah, exactly. And then of course, we have Daisy, Daisy is the one who I think seems stupid. She is of all of them. She seems very stupid. And which one is that she's the one who wears a lot of yellow and like garish pink lipstick all the time. Oh, God, the Gail King wannabe. Gail King wannabe who's like trying to look exactly like Gail King. She even bought a Gail King wig and it is a total wig. But she's shown us that it's a wig. And she wears this really bright lipstick. And then she makes people go to brunch in Brooklyn to have these like fake talk shows where she gets on a microphone to everybody complains about because all she does is surf watery grits and mac and cheese and then she asks people relationship questions and passes the mic around which was the plot for both episodes. But meanwhile though, she's also like, you know, on the question of whether women could lead the world, she was she was like, no, they can't because like she's like a man should be able to lead. And if a man can't, like he's weak and like that's the man's role is to be strong and women's roles to like support him. And I was like, this is so backwards. And then the other girl, Bree, Bree who seems actually also very smart, although she said last week that women are not suited to rule the world, which I did not agree with because she said they're too emotional. I'm like, listen, do you know what it's like to be a man? Like men might not be crying, but they get horny as hell. You do not want men making decisions when they're horny. And they're always horny. Yeah, men make laws because like another man has a nicer car. And so they're going to stick it to that senator by like fucking a whore and then passing a health care law. Shut up. It's like men are worse. Yeah, men are, men are emotional in just different ways. So then she clarified this week in a mature way in a mature discussion, which I was like, I can't believe this is happening in Bravo. She's like, look, I think women could rule the world, but the real, the realistically, it's a world that's run by men and it's like the men call the shots. But then you could counter being like, well, why can't women call the shots like women should be able to call the shots? I don't even get into it. So yeah, that's a backwards way of thinking that she had. I don't agree with her, but I do like that she, you know, she made an effort to do it in a mature way, I guess. But yeah, she's still an idiot and that whole, can the world, can a woman rule the world thing? Who do you think's been running the world? I mean, Bill Clinton, he thinks that that guy, all Bill Clinton was doing was sticking his dick and things. You know, Hillary took care of all of that. Obamacare is just Hillary care repackaged for the new age. I mean, Hillary asked Vince Foster if Hillary is a good leader. You can't because his suicide. Wow. Look at that. Hillary takes care of business. Hillary will kill him if she doesn't get her way. Okay. So then we all can't rule the world. Women can kill your ass and make it look like a suicide. Do not doubt. So the last, the last cast member, of course, that we have to talk about is the breakout star, the one who is the most hilarious. It's a Tranny drag queen, but actually a woman. And that's Micah, who has a Chinchilla named Rocky named up to Barack Obama that she, I believe serves Chardonnay too, Chardonnay, or Corcabernay, whatever he is. She lets her Chinchilla drink wine. This woman is amazing. She basically takes pride in being a full blown alcoholic and actually is having fun with it, which makes it nicer to watch because it's not like Brandy, where Brandy is just a mess and an idiot and doesn't know that she's an alcoholic. This woman knows it and embraces it. She is like a weird Molly Shannon character, sort of like, like swooping around her Harlem apartment. You know, occasionally going down to Brooklyn, I mean, everything that she does is crazy, but it's hilarious. Just the way that the, um, the season premiere, her first scene in the season premiere was her lying in bed and making this weird song, she's like, and got some biscuits and gravy. Biscuits and gravy. Biscuits and gravy. And she's like her legs going around, I was like, oh my gosh. She's like, I got some turkey bacon. And I like that she, when she's describing herself, she's always like kind of off to the side leading over her has kind of like, you know, over, because she's always drunk and drinking wine, even when she's being interviewed. And I like that she says, don't dim my light and don't put me in a box. I like what she, I like what she says. She's like, people are saying when I'm giving one to my chin, show up, people are like, it's gonna kill it, chin, show it, kill it, chin, show it, well guess what, why I can't hear my two? I'm like, she's right. That's for human tea though. Okay. And I like that she's obviously like mixed and I like that like sometimes she gets really white and sometimes she gets really black and it goes back and forth. I love it. Yes. It's kind of offensive because whenever she's trying to make a point, she's white. But then whenever she wants to like be sassy, she's black, it's like, it's not fair like, but she also gets like, she also gets like classic drunk eyes. Like her, it's like, they come like halfway down and then she sloshes over and she sort of stares at you. And she's like, the most like blatant advertisement, like yes, I am drunk right now. Yeah. Yeah. I definitely appreciate her drunkenness. She's very committed. And I think it's really fun. And she says a lot of really funny things. I like all the women. That blogger chick is hilarious. Okay. So for those of you who didn't watch, let's just tell you what happened. So Gayle King, fake Gayle King had this brunch. Okay. So everybody has to show up and it's in Brooklyn, which all New Yorkers know, oh, hell no. And that also goes for this Washington Heights bitch who's the drunk we're talking about. You don't just invite me to Washington Heights. I mean, that is a trick. At least it's not over a bridge like, you know, Brooklyn is, but I mean, and by making people go to Brooklyn for brunch, not cool, first of all. So everybody's pissed when they get over there because it's bad food, then it's terrible food. And then she's asking all these invasive questions and they're not even like good questions. They're like, is it okay for women to snoop on their man, you know, like, could you snoop? And she's passing around the mic and people are like, yeah, it's okay. It's not okay or whatever. And so of course, art women are like, well, yeah, a woman has to snoop on a man and know if he's cheating because cheating is as natural to a man is scratching their balls. They can't help it. They got to scratch him. I was like, I was a little offended by that. I was like, no, no, it's not true. That is not true. And it's so offensive, but you go there. Yeah. Like, do you date me? Because I'm a notorious cheat. I'm the worst. I cheat all the time. But it's easier for gays, like gays are passed around like hors d'oeuvres every weekend. You can't really help it. And I'll blow it up. It's not really cheating. We learned that from the Clinton. This is the second Clinton reference, but it's true. So that started the blogger getting all pissed off because she's like, no, you should never have to snoop on a man. If you think your man's cheating, then you should break up with him. You shouldn't be with so many think is cheating on you, which I would love to agree with her. But of course, I'm going to check your phone. You put a password protect that shit because you know I'll be going through that, right? Right. So and everyone. And so all the women are like, you're crazy. And then they all talk about how they were cheated on and they found out their man cheated because they went through the phone. So blogger goes and writes a blog about how stupid all these women are. Right. Because Demetri is like very much like, she's a feminist. She's very self-possessed. And she also was like, these people are ridiculous and I'm going to write about it. Which is what I like about her. She seems very smart to me. Yeah. So everybody gets pissed off. Well, really all she did was write what they said. And by the way, and they're all like, I can't believe you published our private conversations. I'm like, ladies, are you aware that there is a camera crew from Bravo documenting everything? What is wrong with you? And you were at a brunch with a microphone. Yes. Like it was not a private conversation. Yeah. It was doubly not private. Exactly. So she didn't apparently diss anybody, she didn't say anybody was stupid or whatever. She's probably disgusted and used as a jumping off point for her thoughts on things. Yeah. She just said what they said and then they got all pissed off at her for repeating what they said. Well, you said it. I mean, who cares? You would think a reality show, a reality show, where we'd be happy because that's kind of what you do anyway, right? You just say stupid shit and it goes on TV. Maybe they were mad that they didn't have the internet rights. I don't know what the deal is, but it was really funny watching her stick up for herself. And now she's the big villain on the show, and she's actually the only smart one. Yeah. No, I actually am like, I don't think she's, I mean, they're trying to make her look like the villain, but I'm like, I'm on, I'm on Dimitri's side. Oh, yeah. Me too. There's no, I'm taking Daisy's side, especially after she showed up like two hours late for a date with a hot, hot, hot man, who she that that date, by the way, if you guys haven't watched the episode, the sequence when Daisy goes on her date truly is a date from hell. It was really a terrible day. And the guy was a total asshole, but oh my God, he was so hot and I almost feel like he deserved to be an asshole because she was so late. Well, she wasn't like 15 minutes late. I mean, he was supposed to meet him at a charity event, like two hours earlier. Yeah. Totally didn't show up and then shows up to get her free dinner, which of course, she ended up paying for it, but it would have been a free dinner as she shows up late and then she's like, well, that's me. I'm fast. I'm in fashion. So I'm fashionably late. Yeah. And he's like, yeah, you're in a wig. Your dress is too tight. Your makeup's too bright and you cannot treat me like this. Yeah. And the thing was this at first, I thought it was like, okay, this is a classic like Bravo day. It's going to be a little rocket first, but then it'll be okay. But it actually just continued to go like down further and further. Then he like insulted her. He was like, she was helping somebody to the menu and he was like, oh, do you work here? And she was like, oh, okay. And then he was just, he was extremely frosty. I mean, he was really mean. And then, and then the food finally comes and like she basically knocks his plate onto his lap and because I don't know if you notice her plate, she took up the whole table with her plate. So his was like on the corner. So like it fell onto his lap and then he made her cry and then he made her pay for the whole thing, which honestly, I'm like, it was really, it was really obnoxious of him. But at the same time, I'm kind of like, you know, if someone shows up two hours late, first of all, he shouldn't have shown up. At that point, it should have been like peace out. But if someone shows up that late, that's sort of like my dream to make someone like to really make someone feel bad about that on a date. And I think that he did a great job of that. Well, he made her cry and then he just taunted her while she was crying. He's like, don't mess up your makeup. And like, oh my God, he was, he was being a dick, like he was a controlling asshole. I feel like even if she had showed up on time, he would have been a controlling jerk and she shouldn't be dating him. I mean, the truth is she needs to be dating Oprah. We all know it. Well, the thing is this, when you're as hot as that guy is you have the luxury of being able to be a dick to a woman because you know, like there are going to be a million women lining up. I mean, that guy, this isn't just me because you know, everyone knows I like black guys or whatever. This is, he was objectively like crazy hot. Yeah, he was hot. But what a pig. I mean, he became unattractive in two seconds. He was unattractive. But I can be like, oh, wow, you're really hot. Yeah, I hate that kind of guy, just that controlling kind of guy. It's like he's going to put you down until you know, like he already made his point. He made his point and yeah, I think you're right that he should have just left if I would have left. I'm not going to be there two hours. So I would have just, you know, gone on grinder and then, you know, gotten some McDonald's. I mean, that's a better night anyway and they have to listen to your stupid stories about Oprah. Yeah. All right. So what else? So we got to Meantria who's ready to kick some ass. We got drunkie. This show just looks like it's going to get better and better. I mean, the alcoholic goes full-blown alcoholic and there's some great lines that everyone's like, everyone's just like funny. Every single one of them is funny. Yeah. It's going to be, I think this is going to be a really good show. They've got to hit on their hands with this one. At least for us. I mean, the ones we like usually get canceled, but this one is doing well in the ratings. Yeah. Hopefully this one will keep going because I'm really enjoying it. And then Real Housewives of New York is coming back. I know it's not for like two months, but I'm still so excited. Yeah. I don't watch that Jeff Lewis show. What else is coming back? Anything else that we have to watch this week or is it just the regulars? It's the regulars right now. Well, I think that means that we've reached the end of our podcast then. I feel like it. Is there anything else you wanted to get in there? I just want to announce that I'm going to do a few high kicks and feed some wine to my chinchilla. Hell yeah. Feeler has some of my vodka. He doesn't like it very much. He doesn't like it. He booped. No, no. All right. Well, do you want to close us out, Rani? Sure. You can find us on Facebook. Come talk to us during the week. Thank you for everybody who's telling us stuff they want to talk about today. I think we got almost all of it except we didn't get to Taylor Armstrong on couple therapy only because we don't watch it. But I'll try and find a clip of that somewhere because apparently she acted like an a-hole. You can find us on Facebook at Facebook.com/watchworkcrapins. You can find us on Twitter at @whatcrapins. You can find Ben on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Vine, everything at beside blog. I'm a little weirder. You can find me at trashtalktv.com. I'm doing Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recaps night of all season long at trashtalktv.com. My tweet is, my Twitter is, I'm not Carl's vagina. My Twitter is trashtweettv and on Facebook, I'm at trashtalktv. So come find us everybody, love talking to you during the week. And thanks for all the talking and stuff you've been doing with us lately. We've been having a really good time. Love ya, mean it. Call us. Bye. Bye. If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the Internet. The folks behind the sideshow network have launched a new YouTube channel called, "Wait for it." It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza Schleisinger, Schleising and Rob and Friends with it for 10 years, one of the funniest people out there and I still have a hard time with the last name, Liza. Our very own Owen Benjamin, that's me, takes you on a musical journey down Internet rabbit holes and much more. You don't have to wait any longer, just go to youtube.com/waitfortcomedy. There's no need to wait for it anymore because it's here and it's funny and I love you. A few days ago, Brooke Todine posted an inspirational quote on her wall that got 17 likes and three comments. Thumbs up, Brooke. Geico also wants to make a comment. In just 15 minutes, you could save hundreds of dollars on your car insurance by switching to Geico and nothing says inspiration better than saving money. Well, except for those posters that say things like teamwork, excellence and make it happen. Hashtag keep climbing, hashtag savings. Geico. It could save you 15% or more on car insurance. If you like Watchbook Crapins, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at Wondery.com/survey. In a quiet suburb, a community is shattered by the death of beloved wife and mother. But this tragic loss of life quickly turns into something even darker. Her husband had tried to hire a hitman on the dark web to kill her. And she wasn't the only target. Because buried in the depths of the internet is the kill list, a cache of chilling documents containing names, photos, addresses and specific instructions for people's murders. This podcast is the true story of how it ended up in a race against time to warn those who lives were in danger. And it turns out convincing a total stranger someone wants them dead is not easy. Follow Kill List on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Kill List and more Exhibit C true crime shows like Morbid early ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. Check out Exhibit C in the Wondery app for all your true crime listening.
