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Hey everyone, Ronnie here, 2014 is almost upon us, and you know what that means, you gotta get all the crap done that you didn't do in 2013. Like lose 100 pounds, have a baby with a stranger, start your own website, well we can't help you with having a baby with a stranger, or losing 100 pounds, but we can help you with the website. We have a very special deal right now going on with dreamhost.com. Just go there, you can get your free domain registration, and that is a lifetime registration, okay? Free lifetime domain registration when you sign up for any of their hosting packages. You'll be supporting the podcast, you'll be supporting the internet by adding your lovely voice to the chorus that's already here, and it's going to be a win-win for everybody, okay? Let's start 2014 off right, let us read you guys dreamhost.com coupon code Crapids. Thanks for listening, enjoy this very special episode. Hey everyone, welcome to Watch What Crapids, the podcast about all the crap we'd love to talk about on Bravo. I'm Ronnie Caron from TrashTalkTV.com, I'm recapping Real Housewives at Beverly Hills, all seasons to get your bets over there and read them. I'm here with my lovely and talented and year older co-host Ben Mandelker, beside blog, hello Benjamin. Hello, thank you, hello, hello everyone. You can find Ben's old ass at bsideblog.com and on every social media outlet ever invented at bsideblog. Yes. And today we have two of our favorite special guests of all time. Yes, this is like an all-star real world battle the seasons, except it's not a battle. And Jill Sanger, it's not here. But otherwise we have Ms. Lisa Timmons, hello Lisa, oh my gosh guys, I've missed you, I've been watching lots of Bravo, so I feel good about this. Yeah, you can find Lisa on her other podcast with Ben, banter with Ben and Lisa, or you can also find her on Twitter @TimmonsLisa, okay guys. We're also back with Katie Kazurla. Yeah, Katie is from the television program, The Painted Nail, I mean the Nail Files, which is about her experience at The Painted Nail. Clearly Ron has never watched it. Her gigantic empire of Nail, Nailness, Nailness, Nail Girl, you've seen, you've seen my nails, you know how much I pay attention to Nail Things. I know, your salon is called your mouth. [Laughter] It's very flexible with his feet, you should see the pedicures he gets. Oh my gosh, hello. You can find Katie on Twitter @ThePaintedNail, and where else do you want them to find you, Katie? You know I'm a big Instagram lover, so I'm on Instagram, my name is ThePaintedNail, and I'm on Facebook as forward slash official Katie Kazurla. Yeah, and don't worry, we're almost done with links. If you want to talk to us during the show, we are at facebook.com/watchwickcraphens, or you could tweet us @whatcraphens. Okay guys, now, let's just get on with this. We have gotten in a little bit of trouble with our listeners lately, because we have just been talking about random, uh, the weather. Seriously, our last podcast, if you want to go back and listen to it, we had like a five minute interlude where we sang "All I Want for Christmas is You." Oh my gosh. That's, however, it was special because Katie's fiancee Walter was on piano, and as people know, he actually wrote the song, so it was very special for us. I'd hope it was special for you guys, but we'll talk a little bit more on the podcast. You didn't even have to watch the Rockefeller Tree Center lighting, because you got to listen to the same exact song, except sung by three non-alcoholic. Yeah, and you got to hear us, you got to hear what Mariah Carey basically sounds like without any producer intervention. Sounds like too many. So let's go ahead this week and start with Shazza's sunset, because we did not even get to that last week, and that show has been crazy, disgusting, fat, and hairy, and it needs to be discussed. This is America! You know, here I had this really terrible thought today as I was watching, like, the umpteenth bravo episode that took place at gay pride this week. I had this realization as people were bickering and screaming at each other across all these episodes. The Shazza sunset have unfortunately become the voices of reason on this network. They are like the only people that seem to have, like, a little bit of proper judgment about anything, and that's a real sad state to be in. What are you talking about? What did I miss in an episode? I know, what are you talking about? Everyone's crazy. They're all awful, racist, homo... even the gay guy is homophobic. Exactly. Even the gayest gay guy that I possibly know is homophobic and used the app word, which is totally inappropriate, and troll Nessa needs to go. Well, okay. See, I guess this is the reason I said this. I'm totally pro-GG, actually. I kind of want to see a fight. I'm always... Listen. Here's why I think I said it, because I was watching Vanderpump Rules, and we'll get to this down the line in the podcast, and as these kids were fighting over, I'm on Team A, and they're on Team B, and Jax, I can't believe you did this or that, they cut to the Shazza sunset float going down down Santa Monica Boulevard, and for the first forever they looked civilized compared to these Vanderpump Rules. You know why? These didn't let anybody drink. They were all trashed on the Shazza's float, so everyone was being very cordial, and happy, and jokey. I guess so. I guess so. You got the gold boat. Well, and also, Reza wasn't there, so it's like leaving off Stasi, and then wondering why everything's calmed down. You left the biggest shitster off the boat, you know? You can't just take Peewee off the show, because then it's just a talking couch. And that's why I say the Shazza sunset had a modicum of judgment this week, because they were smart, they took Reza out of the equation and certainly had a very peaceful time. It's like that's what smart people do, they eliminate the drama people. Can we talk for one second? I absolutely adored the fact that Lily was straight up channeling Latoya Jackson at the parade. She looked amazing. What the hell was she wearing? I'll tell you what she was wearing. Oh, Latoya Jackson collection ensemble. What she looked like, but she looked like Cher, she looked like skinny Cher in a Latoya Jackson outfit. You know what I thought she looked like when you're playing Grand Theft Auto and you drive into the rich part of the city, and they have the rich ladies walking down the street in their big black hats, that's what Lily looked like, she looked like she was ready to get run over by her. And then you get out of the car and just beat them for fun, because you can do that in Grand Theft Auto, and that's why kids love it. Yay, random acts of violence against Lily. Little unsack Ronnie, you can do that in real life. This was gay float auto, because I would totally buy in place. Start beating up floats you hate. Oh my god, that would make gay pride so much more fun. It's like, how about you put on some ass full chaps, because your hairy ass should not be hanging out. And I love that they, okay, so this week they go to Pride, Pride obviously on Chas, and Mike's walking down the street all proud of himself for not beating somebody up for being gay. I think he's, he could beat, can swing that way. Oh god, but he's so having fun. He's having too much fun. He's like, yeah, a couple fingers up your butt from a busboy doesn't make you gay, right? No, Mike. It doesn't. There's a, there's a limit, there's a fine line. Yeah, four fingers, totally gay, two to three, iffy. Two and a pinky, you're okay, but two in the middle, you're, you're totally gay. But yeah, he, he's so proud of himself for not gay bashing, but he's like, you know, I used to get scared when I would see gay people, but now I don't feel that way. And I love that as he's talking about the homophobia, he used to feel the second he saw a gay person. They're showing the most horrifying gay people of all time. It's like the 60 year old man in fishnet, stockings, roller skates, and a bikini top. Yeah. You know, and then cut to someone who looks exactly like Asa and her mother combined. Yeah. I, I feel like he knows what side of his bread gets buttered by Bravo. Yeah. So yeah, he's, he, I don't know, it's like it's nice that you're going to pride in everything. But yeah, let's not forget who writes those checks because, because you sure enough aren't making anybody off that damn real estate. That bus, that bus doesn't even take people anywhere. Well, I thought, so let's, let's back up a little bit because we had two episodes since our last podcast. And I actually thought they were kind of fascinating because what, what happened on the first episode is that we met some new, uh, super flamboyant, uh, gay guy named Sasha, who's Persian. I love Sasha. Sasha. I had to say. I grew up team Sasha. I'm totally team Sasha. Yeah. Like, even though he's like, he, you know, he's like annoying. I think it's a dick. Reza was a dick. Agree. Agree. Total, total dick. Because what happened was Reza's nice stupid boyfriend invites Sasha up to the apartment. And you know, Sasha comes like, you know, when Reza walks in, Sasha comes sort of like swishing over to him in a very feminine style and it's like, hi, nice to meet you. And like, I understand it's kind of annoying. Like, that's sort of like an annoying presence, like having like a mosquito in jorts coming at you. But the guy wasn't mean, he was perfectly nice and Reza was an asshole in the very, very first moment. He's pushing the guy and he's, well, what I love about Reza issues with him are he's like, I'm, I'm only a certain amount of gay. That guy is like way more gay than I am. I can't relate. I hate him. Like, dude, like on the spectrum, like, you know, masculinity, I'm like a three and he's like a 10. I'm like, Reza, what spectrum is this? Because you're wearing Mrs. Roper's moo moo turned into a fucking blazer two sizes too small for you. Please. Spectrum. Yeah. Yeah. I just love your fat. Yeah. It's like, well, you don't, you know, you don't say that. It's like me telling you you're fat. And he's like, but I know it's like, really, I think it's time to start going to meetings because. Thing. Yeah. Yeah. Reza has some, I think, yeah, you know, on the one hand, I don't know whether to applaud him for having such high self esteem or to pat him on the back for being so delusional. What are you talking about? He's completely self loathing. Well, obviously, that's, I don't think he has any self esteem. There's no self esteem. But now I do not. Yeah. That was sort of fascinating, the, in this first meeting, one of the things that was getting Reza so mad was that he had this whole thing that, like, he was from the wonderful, miraculous empire of Iran and that this, and Sasha was from like afterward, like the new regime and that Sasha coming to America didn't have any sort of consequences for being Glen Boyne, whereas Reza had consequences and he resented that because he, Reza was saying he has a whole family out here in America, so we can't just like be the Glen Boyne queen that he wants to be, which is, again, hilarious because as we've all seen that laser he's been wearing this season that looks like a terrible carpet. Yeah. What exactly are his consequences? He comes to this country with a shit ton of money. He doesn't really have to do anything. He does anyway, and he's probably placed in a very cushy place because of his connections. Like, I'm really not going to feel bad for you because you like to suck a dick every now and then Reza. Like, seriously. That's how I checked, Reza was the one licking a guy's armpit and Rasputin on the show last season. Like, don't talk to us about like, overdoing it with the gayness. Well, you have to read in between the lines too because this is Reza's show and so the fact that they cast a flaming queen to compete with his ass, I mean, he is just- That's just Cameron Barney. Yes, he's freaking out. That's why Vicky is mean to everybody who comes on their show. I mean, that's what these ladies do. You know, look at Beverly Hills, they're all going on Joyce now, like they do not want someone new and we've never seen a gay guy have the chance to fall apart like one of the housewives and we're seeing it now. And that whole thing, like your boyfriend just happened to meet some guy at the pool and bring him up to your apartment. I mean, come on guys, at least, you know, at least go to the chamber of commerce. If we're going to cross story lines, we just have to learn maybe- You know what, yeah, it was totally contrived, but I don't care because the resulting drama was so delicious. And I also have an open question for the group, does Reza's boyfriend do anything other than sit on the corner of the couch all day? Like every single scene is the guy just sitting there waiting for Reza to come home. What does this guy do with his life? I think as soon as Reza's gone, he just like falls back asleep on the couch and then he reanimates as soon as there's like movement at the door. Yeah. It's like my computer, when I shake them out, it's like, didn't it go low, you're back! I brought someone! I think he's like one of those little bowls of inspirational sayings, and you just like- The only time you really pay attention to it is when you pick something out of it and then you're like, "Oh, that's nice." And then you just put it away. I agree. No, he's like the security light in my dog run. It's not on all of a sudden, it comes on and I'm like, "Oh my God, is there a dog running through the dog run?" Yeah, it comes on and then suddenly there's so much shit in all over him. Oh my God. Jesus, Reza. He's been dating that guy. But they're like, "Hey, what are you doing?" And I love how everything his boyfriend does annoys him. Yeah. You're breathing so stupid. Imagine how he feels claiming that shower drain. I'm like, "Well, you don't get me where I got out of a shower hole." That's like so white. It's like very Persian to shed like three pounds of hair into the shower drain. Like white people are like, "I don't shed anything." But like Homeboy also, you know, it's like pulling out a wig from the drain. White people have Movember and they grow a mustache. Do you know how many cancer children have little Reza back hairs growing all over their heads? It's like a whole salon. You're welcome. It comes along my face. It looks like a sea urchin. I have zero room to talk about shower drains, drains, cloggage so I can't even. My God, I'm probably worse than Reza. Yeah, I'm Lebanese. I'm like a self-hating brown person. I'm like, "Let's make fun of them for erratic hair growth." I don't know. It is America. It is America. It's America. So what? I'm not being free. So later in the episode, the only other significant thing that happened in last week's episode, I think, is that they all went to MJ's in Silver Lake for Club New, which is like the Middle Eastern gay night, and Mike is like, "I thought this would be a great thing for Reza, you know, like gay and version, like this is his brother's he should be in arms with them." Little does Mike realize how self-loathing kids are, and so they go there and surprise surprise, Sasha is there, and Sasha comes up and he's like talking to, I guess, Adam, and then MJ comes over and tries to sort of find out the side of the story, and Sasha starts saying it, and then what's his face? Reza gets involved, and they get into a whole big fight over all of it, and ultimately what happens is that Reza makes reference to Sasha's older brother who's there, and Reza calls him gay. I think actually not to be mean. He calls him his faggot-ass brother, I believe. Oh my god. That is... Never mind. But he wasn't doing it to... I love him. You have to be mean, but that's how he identifies himself. Yes. I'm sorry. Well, I didn't mean to say not to be mean. No, I'm just kidding. No, I'm just kidding. I don't think Reza was intending to out him, but he did call him a faggot-ass brother, which was... Well, I'm not up for that whole "We Outed the Brother" thing. Your brother is hanging out at a gay bar on camera on Bravo wearing a tight T-shirt showcasing his man boobs. And actually chest hair, stopping. He was like, he was like a Persian Chris Parnell, and what I thought was hilarious was... At first I started to laugh, I'm not gonna fall off. I started to laugh because... I'm gonna laugh when we find out Chris Parnell is Persian. No. And you're being redundant. I know. Two persons don't make a right person. No, but I start to laugh because, you know, like Sasha's like, "He is not gay. He never used that word." And then he cuts to this guy, and he's like, "Yeah, I'm not like that." So I'm like, "Oh, this poor soul." But then later I actually took back my laughter. Because... You recanted your laughter. I redacted my laughter because then once, you know, Reza stormed out of there and everything, then Sasha and his brother started saying this whole thing about like, "Listen, we didn't come to this country to be called faggots." And like, we don't want to put a label on what it is. And I actually sort of like understood that, and I thought it was like a very poignant moment that the brothers were crying. Well, what other country do they call people "faggots" in? You came to the wrong place, bitch. I know. Oh my god, West Hollywood, I know my gay friends call each other that. So, you know, I mean, whatever. Yeah, I actually don't do that. I don't like doing that. But it's like, you know what, if you want to come to a place for acceptance, I have a spoiler alert. West Hollywood ain't it. Yeah. I mean, you could be thin, you could be gorgeous, have perfect muscles, not an ounce of hair growing on you. There's still going to be mean to you. Yeah. So don't let the rainbow sidewalks fool you. It is a place where you can go, you look at beautiful people and you come home and cry. Yeah. Exactly. And sometimes it's not the straight people that are being mean. Yeah. It's always the nature. Okay. Yeah. Everyone's so excited to become an adult because you're like, "Oh my god, I'm not going to get beat up in high school anymore." No, now you're going to get ripped to shreds verbally in gay bars, and it's way worse. Yeah. We're going to hang out more on the east side, whatever. Let's go. Well, that's something that's an interesting thing that happened with the whole reza thing and why he's so upset because it's really not just reza. That's a humongous part of being gay. You know, there's all these different little segments, there's all these different kinds of gays. There's like the bears and they're really butt and they don't like these effeminate little twinks running around like with assas, well, no, they have like assas chaps. I'm getting them all mixed up now. Getting my brands mixed up. But you know, the butchbearers don't like the drag queens, and the drag queens don't like the... Anyway. Really? Yeah. I don't think drag queens like any more. No, it's like there are different scenes of different tastes, and I will say to reza's credit, it is a little annoying, like, if you have a certain type that you like and there's a certain type of group that you generally try that you sort of like hanging with a little bit more, it's annoying when someone comes in and like, "Oh, you guys are both gay. You should just automatically get along." And it's like, "Well, not necessarily, you know, but at the same time, reza was being totally dismissive. Like, you know, if someone dragged me to a scene that was not my scene, I wouldn't be like furious and just act like a pre-medana, like, "Why the fuck am I here?" I'd be like, "Okay, well, I might as well enjoy it. It's a different scene, but let's have fun with it, you know what?" I mentioned that at my house last week. That's true. I was like, "Where the fuck are the muscular black guys?" This isn't my scene! I'm trying to figure out what my scene is, guys. I know how you feel though, can I just say something? I know exactly how you feel because I'm not just because of like, you know, sexuality or whatever, but most of the time, people look at me and assume dumb bimbo, so I should go hang out at the Playboy Mansion with my tights. Let me just tell you something, kind of like that. Sorry, guys. I'm sick of college, okay? I mean, I'm graduated, but I went. I've been. I've been. She's walked the grounds. No, but it's true, like people, you know, it's like people do make assumptions and, you know, sometimes people are very excited because they know two different people and they just assume they get along because they like both people. It's like, no, it doesn't always work that way, but there's no reason to cop an attitude about it. Like, the way Reza did, you know? I was just immediately angry and yeah, he was the minute he saw that guy, he was ready for a fight. And, you know, one of the things, if I may get slightly, I guess not really serious, but like not a sarcastic for a moment, you know, one of the things that I've learned on my little gay journey is that like in the beginning, I really didn't like being around the feminine guys because I felt like it was a reflection on me and like, you know, even though we're sitting here doing this super caddy podcast, you know, I don't myself as being like, like Sasha, you know, like walking around with my ass out. I wish I was like Sasha, I know, I wish I could do that, but like, I kind of do too. I can't wear leggings like that. Yeah, there's a guy who can bite his own toenails, but, you know, at the beginning, you know, it's like, you know, you're, you know, you're sort of insecure a little bit because, you know, you're just out of the closet, et cetera, and you sort of like have this vision of what you are. But what happens is as you get more comfortable with yourself and in your own skin, it's like, okay, I mean, I date someone like Sasha who's like super like, you know, super swishy, but you know, I sleep with him out after a couple of shots and that's what's important. Yeah. Well, I mean, he does have a great body, but like you, for your honesty, Ronnie, but then you know, you realize, you know, just because you have like, it's okay, I don't mind being friends with someone like that. In fact, I like I have friends are all different types of masculinity on the gay spectrum, and it's fine. And so seeing Reza react to Sasha like that, it's like, so insecure, you know, well, it's trying to be, you know, it's that thing where you, everyone, you've grown up with so much homophobia that when you're out in the real world, you're like, this is why there's homophobia because those guys are flaming. It's like, yeah, you're sucking a dick. So you can either like everyone has the same rights to be whoever they want, you know, like you're not the only person allowed to be a freak and you're, you know, everyone is. Exactly. It's kind of hard to deal with and sometimes the gay pride, I do look at like the freaks they were showing on Bravo, where I'm like, yeah, okay, 65 year old guy and ass is chaps and like, yeah, you got a hole in your fucking fish nets, like, yeah, it's gross, but you know what? You have the right to be a freak. I mean, I want to be in the same parade with you. I'll just walk on the other side of the sidewalk, but you know, and you know, don't leave your house done. Yeah. Exactly. We're going to be a judgmental crazy. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. And you may hear us talk on this podcast frequently about like, ugh, these are the worst gays or like fashion queens, et cetera, et cetera, and you're like, I love fashion queens for the record. So continue. Well, I really agree to disagree on how swabs can do this, but like, but the thing is that like people will be like, how can you be bashing all these gay guys on Bravo and then be sitting here talking about like, well, then everyone has the right to express themselves. I think our issue is more like people sort of thing. Our issue is their Persian were being raised as people get it straight. Exactly. It's really more like people think this is the only aspect of sort of gay life is like these flamboyant guys in the heels wearing lipstick. When there's really, there are all sorts of variations and it can be a little annoying to have these gay guys kind of represent us, you know? Well, since housewives are being represented by crazy women who are constantly screaming and having pool fights, I can somewhat relate to what you guys are talking about. The bloggers are being represented by people like Kat from Eat Drink Club. I think that every section of society is being hurt by Bravo. Stop Bravo. Let's stop Bravo. Equal opportunity shaming. Yeah. I have a question. Katie, I would love to hear how you're feeling about MJ and your rationale behind that. Is it because her nails are so fabulous? Because I actually really love them. Can I just tell you? Other things her nails are disgusting. I love crazy nails because I can't have them and so when I see them, I just, I covet them so much. Wait, I don't understand. Why can't you have them? Do you play the guitar? No, I bite my nails and I pick at my cuticles so I'm never healthy enough to have those put on. Sorry, guys, I have completely taken this kiss on a different-- No, no. I'm actually fascinated by this. You bite me. I have to go now. Katie's like, this is not my scene. This is like-- This is America. This is Jackie. This is Jackie. He said Katie. Well, I mean, I'm team MJ so I feel like she can do no wrong. The only thing that I think she fucked up on was all she had to do was apologize at the campground. Oh my God. Absolutely. Just apologize. Yeah. Everything else, I think she's-- I don't know, there's something about her that I really like. Besides the fact she's Ben's neighbor, I just really like it. Because you know that she's got good pills. That's why I like her. I would hang out with that girl because I know she would get me shit face for free. She'd have tons of food at her house. And then you could go to her house and eat like a pig and she'd always out eat me and make me feel better. And I'm not even kidding. I would totally be friends with her for that alone. She seems like a lot of fun, but she is a horrible friend. Can we just acknowledge she's a terrible friend? Well, she's a terrible friend and a terrible fucking human being. And anybody who thinks different watches too much Bravo. What are you talking about? Absolutely. She's terrible. Well, she did. The GG was totally fucked up. Yeah. Then she immediately defended what she did for-- she defended Reza blindly without even being there saying I defend my friends no matter what. And last week, you did the exact opposite of that. Yeah. Oh, that's true. She broke-- she broke girl code big time. Oh my god. You totally paid attention. Girl, I take notes too. I'm sad. I don't even know if you'll be on the podcast that I took notes. I just love documentary life. It's on your like my fitness pal diary. You're like, today I pop corn in a potato and man that MJ is a horrible human being. And this is what MJ said. Dear diary. Dear diary. I'm team MJ. So fuck everybody. All right, what else did we have from shots? So then what happened was the Sunday nights episode really took place with the gay pride. And basically, Mike disinvited Reza from a float that Reza probably would not have gone on anyway. And Reza was furious mainly because he probably was mad that he couldn't be on the gay side. But Reza was being a bitch when they asked them to do that float in the first place. He was like, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me. He would do it. Sorry, I started doing a totally wrong accent. I started going like Indian or something like that. It's a page. You don't really get Reza. I'm like, yeah, I'm like, let me focus. And again, he's like, homeboys float like it's a disgrace to the gay community. I'm like, come on. It's not. I mean, it's really, it's just a float. I mean, the disgrace to the gay community is the blazer you've been wearing all season. Interview is that disgrace to the gay community, right? Put on our Facebook page, Facebook.com/Wattrocrappens, posted a comparison between that blazer and the carpet in the shining and exact same pattern, the exact same pattern, like literally like, like little children on, on like big wheels have gone racing down Reza's blazer at this point and, and scary twins have appeared on it. And it's actually, by the way, much more frightening than that movie ever was. I agree. I'm not on top of his, his, his rub stash. Yeah. Did you guys already talk about, because I can't remember how, which exactly, which episode it was, how Lily completely owned Asa at that lunch? We didn't really talk about that, but I mean, we can, that was, that was a few weeks ago. Oh, okay. I couldn't remember if that was in the past two weeks. So. No, Lily did. I mean, listen, Lily has a law degree. She knows how to like, group people. I love Lily. Lily's no Phaedra Parks. She's a real lawyer. Yeah. She had a bikini line. She is. But she went to law school. She does. But she went to law school. She also, I have to say though, she passed her bar. I think, I think she did. Well, actually, I don't know if she passed the bar or not, but I think Lily's only problem is when she busts out those, that, that weird wig with the bangs, because that was no good. No good at all. She looked, I told you, she looked like a scary, like the air was a lot out of share. I loved it. She does look bananas. It is kind of like rhythm nation. It was a rhythm nation Latoya spin knockoff ensemble. She is too much that girl. My favorite scene of her in the past few weeks was when she went shopping for bikini materials. And she's like, hey, when are we, well, you know, you don't come in with a really good idea of bikinis. You've got to really just kind of let it speak to you. Is that like a hot girl discount for a bikini? We should have to pay for price, wear a hat. And then she ends up picking like, if I hear to pull this out, I need to buy this one. I need to buy it, not like three hat girls. I love that she picks like mustard. I love that she picked like a must, it was like mustard, and that's going to be her brilliant bathing suit. Congratulations. Hey, yellow looks good on everyone. Oh, yellow, burnt yellow. Wow. Meanwhile, I think the only one here's the whole grain. So I think the only other thing that I thought was sort of funny, which I kind of feel bad at laughing at this was at the end of Sunday's episode when Reza was sort of talking through his issues with Asa and he started to cry talk. And when Reza cry talks, it's like the funniest sound of all time. It's like, I'm realizing, wait, I've got to get in my residence. I've got to get in my residence and I'm like, let me do some random phrases like, home girl. I'm like, I'm Reza, I'm home girl, home girl has to realize that being gay and suicide and a secret life of me just says, I just started to laugh. Like what you were saying was very poignant, but like the way he was saying, I'm like, oh, did that happen? I didn't catch the end. I just got so sick of that. So I tried to. Yeah. That's all I am. Yeah. I have to admit, though, Ben, if I showed up at your place for like a special talk and you had brought Red Velvet Cupcakes, I probably start crying too because it looked amazing. You know what? It was like to be a little brown boy in Beverly Hills, but not only a brown boy, but gay too. I don't know. I don't feel for him and I don't think you should just get to be hateful to everybody because you had like a bad childhood shut up. I know. We all got a bad childhood, PS, okay, because he didn't have to come over on like in the back of a truck or shoved in the pipe of like somebody's, you know, SUV. He didn't come over like that or on a donkey in the desert. Yeah. Over at first class. I mean, come on. Yeah. And I don't feel for him. By done with you. I don't care. I'm not going to cry for you. This is to be mean. And also last week, I was after I saw that like gay hating one, I was like, oh, I better look on Twitter to see what people are talking about. First of all, still don't really understand how to use Twitter because I searched Reza and all I saw were his tweets. I didn't see all the tweets of people that I'm sure were telling him off. There must have been people telling him off. I don't know how to do that, but I saw one of his tweets and he was like, Hey, tonight watch Joseph Sunset where Mike lies about standing up for a gay friend who came out of the closet. Oh my God. So he's now is now he hates Mike, like now he's going to turn on Mike and make his life hell. Like that guy has to be traced someone new every single year. I just can't. Wait a second. So then who paid for the bus ad? Did they both collectively pay for it or was it just like I think Mike did. Who's parents paid for the bus? Exactly. There's a reason Mike's mom is so depressed by the way, I love Mike's mom. She is like a she's no nonsense Jewish mother and I love she's like, well, you're making mistakes with your life. I'm like, yes, yes, I know. He should really just get engaged to distract from the career. Listen, Mike's doing the right thing. He's marrying this girl who is like the heir to some fortune. I forget what it was, but wasn't like her isn't like her dad, like some huge multi millionaire. Yes. You that's what they do. They don't you. He's like a male gold there just FYI. He knows that what he does is kind of bullshit. It's kind of like the Yolanda syndrome. You may have had one or two modeling jobs and you're a model. And all you've done is lived off rich guys money like that. Yeah, that kills me about her. She's like, oh, I supported my family my whole life. I'm like, really? When did you start putting your ankles behind your ears, honey, because it's not been your whole life. Okay. Pisses me off. So like nothing makes me want to throw my phone at the TV more or Walter for that matter. You know, then listening to her talk about how she's done this and she's in the, no, you have one or two modeling jobs. Some guy spotted you, thought you were hot and then decided, you know, that he was going to take care of you. And then you're, you've lived off his money ever since. Let's go. Honestly, if you want to fuck Mohammed and goddamn, what's his face? Dave Foster. Knock yourself the fuck out. I really don't care. Like more power to you, honey, cause I am not willing to do that. I will be over here with my government cheese happily, not having to pre-read that. My God, I love government cheese up my eye. You know why? Cause it's, it's wick approved. It's actual cheese. Sorry, Ben. Here's the part where the actual poor people impart a little knowledge to you. Please. That's so wide. That's so whitey. Government cheese. Like Persian people are like, give me some Iranian cheese from a goat. Oh my God, my dad used to, cause he would help out at like those where they would pass off the food. And he would bring it home and my mother was always horrified cause my dad's French and it's like, you are a cheese and wine kind of store and you're bringing home this shit. And it actually is really good. It's real cheese. It's not cheese product. Yes. No, it's not like the orange cheese. It is. Oh, it's real actual cheese. Listen guys. Give it to pregnant ladies. I want to tell you guys something. I don't care if it's cheese or cheese product. I will eat it all. I believe, yeah. You go. You go private school bed. I've made a, I've taken a stance. I'm taking a stance on this podcast. I will eat all cheese product. This reminds me of a maple syrup conversation. Oh my God. Wait, this is good. Tell us what you said. Yeah. Little tangents. Yeah. Do type and then I'll stop. Okay. Ben and I on a podcast, we're talking about Nicki Minaj, cause I was recapping American Idol, just referencing saying that she loves the way somebody's saying so much that it made her want to have a buttermilk waffles with Aunt Jemima syrup poured on it or log. Yes. Log cabin. No, it was Aunt Jemima. Was it Aunt Jemima? Yes. And then Ben said, oh, real maple syrup. And that's when I said, um, do you know how expensive that shit is? Apparently not. Cause I grew up with Aunt Jemima. In this moment, I am Warren common with Nicki Minaj there with you. As, as a purchaser of a real maple syrup, I have, I have become very aware of how expensive that shit is, but I still maintain my snobby standards, which is that I, I, I do, I do actually like, um, what a worth of Aunt Jemima, but I am a real maple syrup guy. I will use it when I can. I don't like any syrup. So more power to all of you for your ghetto syrup and your expensive Canadian imports. So speaking of sweet, sweet, syrupy things, why don't we move on to Beverly Hills because you know what? It was out of control, pulling out the notes, pulling out the notes. It was so crazy. Like between all of the Kim confessionals and all the bickering and all of the passive aggression and stupid bullshit going on, it was like, well, my head was exploding in all different directions. It was like that. So full clip of that guy takes his hands and smashes one guy's head and his head explodes. That was what was happening to me by Bravo. I really wanted them to take the Kim confessionals and just edit them all together. So I could just watch that on the repeat. They did that. I watched what happens live. Oh, so jealous. I should have watched that. They took all of her craziness and did like a musical type of montage, but it was like a Kim montage and they did it for Kyle and that boring ass Abigail Breslin. So yeah, that bitch bought these pair of shoes. I wanted at this boutique in Studio City and apparently she was size six. So it was the only pair they had. But anyways, so let's talk about what this is like a real vengeful act. One of those cool aburras. Okay, so my whole thing is, did you guys, how did you feel about Kim Kyle and Joyce being in one car? Brandy and Yolanda and the other and Lisa and Carlton, which car would you have picked? Lisa and Carlton, I would have showed Lisa and Carlton because I thought that like Brandy and Yolanda were being like really annoying in a certain way. And of course, I don't want to be with the Richard sisters or with Joyce. So for me, it was Team Banderpump. With Joyce? With Joyce. Oh, I, you guys, I really enjoy this podcast, it just wanted to tell you that. Fills me with Yoy. Yoy to the world. Yoy guys are just too much. I have to say, I love Yolo. She's fucking going crazy and she is so Germanic that I can't help but love her. And I love that Brandy is basically a gay man. Yeah. Brandy is like a train wreck these days. She is a stereotype. Or so than usual. She is a real disaster. But you know, I think what's so funny is that Lisa and Carlton, they get on the phone, they're telling the other car with Yolanda and Brandy and they're like, "Oh, darling, we have to go up with a nickname for you, like, oh, we have to call you, we have to call you Blackie." Or whatever. Or no, Yolanda calls her and says, "We have to call you Blackie." And like, I love that that Carlton is like, "Oh, that's hilarious." And you know, if Kyle, Kyle, they call it, I've been like, "That's so bloody rude." That's so bloody rude. I don't even think that she knows me well enough to have it give me a nickname. It's so bloody rude. Oh, yeah. Carlton, by the way, I'm just going to say this before I forget, if anyone's ever seen the room, Carlton's face and body are basically the female version of Tommy Wiseau. Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. That's giving me a nightmare right now. Yeah. And that's an instant nightmare right there. I'm going to post a picture of Tommy Wiseau to the Watch for Crap-ins. Okay. Her body is not, you know, I'm sorry. I don't like to work out whatever. And whenever I watch certain shows, yes, it makes me feel bad. I love Victoria's Secret Fashion Show tonight, which I will not be watching. But I just wanted to put this out there that their body's choice has a needing disorder. And I'm going to say that. I'm going to publicly put that on record. Something isn't right with her. You know, I feel bad because I think all the girls are really jealous of her. But to be fair, that whole thing about going into, Joyce invited them, she's trying to make nice due to the producers pushing this. Yeah. You know what, someone brought, I was watching this with Marcos, and he brought up a really good point, which is Kim's a recovering alcoholic. If she wants her fucking juice, let the girl have a damn juice. I mean, if her thing is some grapefruit juice in the morning, let's just throw that in a bag and let her have it. I mean, poor Kim, she's a mess. And you know also, and let's be honest, sometimes you got to admit she probably won't help. She doesn't know the difference between Kingsley and the juicer. She's like, hey, Kingsley, give me some orange juice. If I squeeze Kingsley, it makes oranges come out. Oh my God. My favorite was when we're all kind of sitting around and literally, besides not having your juicer, everyone starts stripping down the clothes. And it's to make a reference about something. It's like, it kind of puts a date to it, it ages you. And when Kim was like, God, what am I freaking boo, Derek? It started. I was laughing so loud and uncontrollably. I loved her boderic reference. She's amazing to me. I really hate when Brandi's serious acting like me, West. And then he has some glass, like, you know, like, I was, I was like on first, I was here at first. I was on which mountain, you know, in a shampoo, moo, moo, I was just like, you think you're so smart. I mean, what are you like out of our roles about? Hey, you think I can't teach you how to talk? Who do you think taught Mickey how to talk? When I met him, he was black and white never said a damn thing. Now look at him. He's a superstar. Last time I was in a bikini, I was hanging out with Mary Cherry and she was holding some like radio active. And it was so hot. I'm like, I can never be in a bikini again. Oh my God. By the way, what's the deal with Joyce having a stylist come over to style her for two days in Palm Springs? And by the way, she is the worst clothes. Oh my God. She really does. She wears like this old lady tunic that she's like a little Miami old lady, a little old lady from Miami. Elsa's. When she was trying on that when she was like, well, first of all, she was like, look at my two assistants, listen, bitch, again, you've done nothing for that money, stop bragging about it. Like, swallowing your husband's load a couple of times a year is like, earned you anything. Like, shut up, like a stint, maybe a stint, but seriously, like, get over it. That's not your money. You know, she's acting like, and of course, you know, her favorite movie is that horror movie, Pretty Woman. That's like her dream movie. She said it on the, on the, that's like her goal movie. So of course, she's trying to have her own pretty woman moment where she's like trying all these different clothes with all these assistants and stuff and I'm like, Julie Roberts, stop it. Love Kavali. I love Kavali. I like when she was like, oh, this one's Kinga and I was like, is that like a project runway contestant? I know. You know what they're talking about? You know, also in that, in that opening sequence, I think it was either intercut or not, but Kyle and Carlton went shopping for things, I think to go on this trip and it was funny because Carlton had her, her, she had her list of grievances and you know, we all really don't like Kyle Richards. But even in this case, like, it had to be a little team Kyle because Carlton was so ridiculous. She's like, and that time when you looked at my sponge and my sink and I thought that was rude. Like, so why was she looking at my sponge that way? I thought that was like a little off. I wouldn't do that at someone else's house. Like shut up. I know you're right. It started off like that and I was like, this is so bizarre. Why do they even get together? Yeah. I was like, every little thing Carlton had an issue with and I was like, you know, you know, Kim is, I mean, Kyle is really, she is terrible. She is the pits. It is horrible. Yeah. But it's a total double stand. I mean, if, if, if, brand your Lisa said any of the things that, that Kyle said, you hilarious. Like the time you nicknamed me Blackie. I really hate, oh, that was Yolanda. Oh, you know what? That was adorable. Actually, take that back. Have a month. Have a month. Although, to be fair though, Kyle, here's one of my issues with Kyle that popped up in this scene and later on is that when Kyle is wrong about something or if someone says, you know what, you kind of bothered me about something, Kyle's first reaction is not to say, oh my God, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. Like, I'm really sorry that was a misinterpretation. Her reaction to say, oh, well, I would never do that. I would never say. Oh, God. I would never mean that. It's like, shut the fuck up, Kyle. Someone's like, if you've upset someone and it's not about whether you would or would not, it's that you did and just say sorry and move on. Just exactly. Just say sorry. What is wrong? That's why she and Camille had that fight season one season one when Camille was like, you said this and Kyle should have been like, oh my God, like, I'm so sorry. Like, I don't think, you know, like, I, I don't remember saying that if I did, like, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it. She said, she says, I would never do that and you should know about me. Do you know why? Because love means never having to say you're sorry. No. It just begins with Kyle Richards. Oh my God. Kyle is the worst. But you know what? I'm going to say that for this episode, especially like when the girls were, like, when they walked into the house in Yolanda was like, these sheets have wrinkles in them. Why aren't they iron? I know. I expect to have iron sheets. It's like, are you acting kidding me? And then what takes the cake for me is when they're literally, literally the luggage that they bring was ridiculous. But then ghetto ass Brandy sitting down there who's, mind you, leasing a house doesn't own it. And as the balls to say, is there a waiter here, like, that can make us drinks? No kidding. Brandy. It's like you just stopped being a waiter yourself. Like, give it some time, honey. Give it some time. If you were younger, we would have wished you could have worked at serve, but you know what? You're not. Well, the iron sheets was my favorite thing because I was just like, why waste your time ironing sheets? Iron Kyle. Exactly. Do something good for the world. You guys, we definitely got Botox this year, too. Oh, yeah. Well, remember Kyle said she was against it. She doesn't do any of that stuff. Oh, yeah. Right. Have you seen those frozen commercials that she and Kim did? She's like, she looks. I'm calling her Connie Chung because she doesn't that's she's just Asianized herself. It doesn't. Nothing's moving. I really want those two to do a lifetime movie. My daughter was kidnapped by the internet. I would watch. I want to see Kyle and Kim in a movie. I would watch it. I would love it. I would love it. Like maybe like just another installment in the Witch Mountain franchise, like a weekend at Witch Mountain or something like that going to the pool at Witch Mountain. Well, first of all, I have to say too. When these women go and they pick their rooms, it's so embarrassing, I feel like it's embarrassing for women kind to watch this like this reversion to being like in sixth grade, I mean, just get a fucking room. They're all huge and big and wonderful. Who the fuck cares? Someone's making your bed. So be happy with that, you know. Also, how did they keep ending up with not enough rooms? Those that's the producers, that's the producers. But what I will clearly, but still, it's just hilarious that like they fall for it every time. So this episode of Beverly Hills actually kind of reminded me of Vanderpump Rules in that last week I mentioned how Vanderpump Rules is like a lazy Susan of awfulness when something is awful. Someone's being awful and you're like, they're the worst and someone moves the lazy Susan and you got another person in front of you and said like, "Oh wait, no, they're the worst." And you know what? This episode was kind of like that with these women because- Yeah, it's brandy and they're picking up on joys. Yeah, I have to say, across the board, you know, like when, just when they're sitting around at the pool and it's like, let's get in the pool and then get in the, they make a debate over why doesn't joys get in the pool, why doesn't anyone get in the pool? And then Yolanda is like, "Well, you'll know if I were my party, I would be the one for- I'd be the first one getting in the pool. Like shut up Yolanda. Who is it?" Like, since when is it a thing that the leader of the party has to get in the pool? Oh my god, what? Exactly. I was watching this. You know what? They're all fucking jealous. I'm telling you. They think she has like maybe extensions or something when I was with her hair or makeup. But the fact that Yolanda made those comments, it's like, and by the way, what the hell shoes are these women wearing, they're not at a public pool. It's a private residence and they're all dressed as if they, you know, are going to like the pool at the Soho House in New York. It's ridiculous. Well, this is the one time and I kind of like when it gets like this because I feel like it's right before they're going to have to revamp the cast. I'm not team anybody because everyone is crazy. Like nobody has, once, one moment, Joyce will be really annoying. And I'm like, oh, I get why somebody would be annoyed with her. But then they overreact and then I'm like, oh, it just looks like everybody came there looking for a fight. They did. It truly is kind of like what Kyle was saying with that ridiculous expression of tits on an hand. You know, like, like honestly, Carlton was looking for a fight. What's her face? Yolanda. Lisa, they all were. They're all trying to start fights and no one has anything to fight about. And these fights are just ridiculous. That one towards the end, which continues on to next week, I mean, this is the saddest sign that this is the fight that continues until next week. Well, Yolanda, we do need to get it on the table. Okay, fine. And well, here's how I feel. Well, here's how I feel. I was talking, but then I talked, but then I was talking. Yeah, but I talked. And that's what a conversation. And then Joyce talk. And then I talk. One person should talk and it's I'm like, I don't know. Just joining this, darling. Don't talk. Don't talk in this. You were there. Listen, sweetie. Stay out of it. And then you and then you've got Kim on the other side. Hey, here's what I think. And everyone's like, shut up. Kim. Hey, I don't think so. Even though if you drink water from a water fountain that's got pennies in it, you become richer later on. Even though it's Jason McDally. And they're like, no, it's not what we're fighting about. And they're like, but what is the conversation then? Well, I have to tell you what a conversation is like, oh my God. And then you've got Brandy on the end of the table, like screaming inward at maids. It's like, oh, when she went at the back of the pool, when Joyce said she didn't want to get in the pool of brains, like, oh, you're like black. It's like, oh my God. You're such an idiot. Like how big are you? That was so. What choice goes? But I'm black. Yeah. What? I was like, oh, God, we're black and we're Native American and we're like Italian and Portuguese and Finnish. Please make. Well, Marco's had a really good point about Brandy, which is if she would have started, if she starts to call you Jacqueline, then you call her Brittany. And the funny thing is you don't go, I'm so upset and it's just, this is like the perfect combination where these people are going to be in an impasse because Brandy would love that actually. She'd probably start thinking her name was Brittany. She's so drunk. Yeah. Well, I've been there. Oh, I'm sorry. Go ahead. I was just going to say it was getting so offensive because not only is she calling her the wrong name, she's being racist about it and calling her a Yoast and she's like, well, that's how you pronounce it. That was totally rude when she was like, oh, okay, so what do I call you then? Like, Yoast? Yeah. And it's like, she does it. She speaks English. What the, that was totally uncalled for and bullshitty and Brandy is that mean girl. So that thing about bullying, I'm sorry. They were bullying is defined as where you, you have, you're perping on someone so bad that it turns the character of the other person, whether it's for the worse or for whatever. It's when you've actually just harped on someone so hard that it's changed their attitude. You bullied them. Those girls had all ganged up on Joyce at that table, except for Kyle, which was totally bizarre. Yeah. Well, Kyle's good. The only, she's the only one that's nice to Kyle, everyone that takes Kyle. Yeah. And meanwhile, and, and, and, and, and, and past, you know, Brandy, when she has lashed out, she's been very vicious when she's lashed out at people, but it's usually because someone's come at her and she lashes out. But in this case, she was just being a straight up bitch and insensitive. And, and the fact is when it later got to the, the dinner table and she, she was saying Joyce and, and Joyce says, you know, I really don't like it because when I was a child, I was really made fun of and it really, it hurts me. And then they like were making fun of her or be like, yeah, but you know what about that? I'm like, no, you're, when you talk about being bullied as a child, that's actually legitimate. Yeah. But you know, like, not with Joyce. Okay. And here's why. Okay. You're Puerto Rican and you didn't grow up here. Okay. So, how do you pronounce Joyce in, if you're Puerto Rican, Joyce, you do say Jennifer, you don't say Yennefer, you say Jennifer. Well, we do, but there is no J sound name doesn't exist in Spanish. Right. You say that they say it with a, a silent, it's like, Hey, like, like, I'll say, like boy says, hey, Zeus, because she's saying they call me, you're saying school and I didn't like it. I'm like, yeah, but it's not how you pronounce your name or you went to school. No, because that name doesn't exist in Spanish, so you would take on the American pronunciation of it. So then what is her name in Spanish? It was never Yennefer Lopez. It's Jennifer Lopez. Can I just say something? My mother. Okay. So this is a proven thing. My mother would, whenever she, she was in the Peace Corps in Africa and everybody speaks French there. Okay. And my mother's name is Barbara. My dad is French and she absolutely hated it when people would call her bar because that means mustache in French. So it was not like, they call their barbera instead of bar, which was for me. And it's just that whole thing just becomes totally annoying. And I get it. So when she asked her to stop, those women should have listened and been like, okay, you know what? You're right. We're just being assholes. And Don, but they're six. Absolutely. They're like, we should really be making fun of how you dress because that's more valid. Yeah, there's so many other things that they can make fun of Joyce before and we'd be on their side. And like, listen, I've actually been there where you just have like a mental block and you keep on calling one person, you keep on wanting to call them something else, but you also know how to control it. And when you do it, you're more apologetic. Like Brandi was sort of like, oh, whoops again. And then, and then her excuses, well, Jacqueline is more of like a Latina name and it's like a sexy name. Joyce is just like old fat pig. And you know what? I have, even though I really don't like Joyce, I have to give her credit for not being like, you know what, get out of my house. I said the exact same thing. I looked at Walter and I go, oh my God, you know me, I would have gone all Elmira Heights crazy on that bitch's ass because she invited her there. I'd be like, you know what, you can take your scrappy little fucking weave and your skinny little horrendous body with your fake booby. This episode is sponsored by DoorDash. We're back to tell you more about the latest dash pass annual plan benefit stream max with ads included at no extra cost. You know what's a great night for us ordering DoorDash and cuddling up to watch the max original hacks, which won best comedy, deservedly so and we love tuning in to see not only icon Gene Smart, but the wonderful and incomparable Rose Abdu who also is a huge Bravo fan. Listen, I'm always in the mood for hacks, but you never know what kind of food I'm in the mood for. Sometimes it's pizza, sometimes it's a salad and I can get both with DoorDash. How about some ice cream? That's what I like to eat with my hacks. A hundred percent, I will double dash. 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You get the fuck out of my house and walk your ass back. Yeah, because that when Joyce tries to sort of like ease it with her a little bit. For the record, I actually think Brandi's boobs look okay. Look, they do not fit her body at all. It's like Joyce too. When you're that skinny and you get a boob job, it literally looks like you have a giant and grown hair. I just don't understand why boob jobs are off to the side now. It's the weirdest thing like those little ping pong implants she got are almost under her armpits. They look it looks like she's used too much deodorant for her whole life and she's got like glands that are swamped. Maybe she went down to Tijuana and saw some Jose and got her her boobs done and said if I wouldn't get one free deal or maybe she just wasn't taking too many protein supplements and just has a cancer scare. A man boob can't feed you. I love Jack's. I did not realize he's 10 years older than Stossy until today and I laughed so hard. And the best part is that he looks like he's 30 years older. But I know. But the thing is also like, you know, I think also Brandi told Joyce to shut the fuck up and Joyce didn't react to that, which I was like, I can't believe this woman, the patients that she has right now. But then just as I started to feel bad for Joyce. Just when I started to feel bad for Joyce, then she goes, well, everyone, I have like a big husband, which is that I've been cast in the lead of something called Siberia. And I just want to let everyone know. I thought that was hilarious. So of course, she was letting them know something else that isn't, you know, I mean, she was just trying to change the subject, I think, and then she wanted to be proud of like getting a job, I guess. But she didn't get a job. This is another thing. And her husband produced this show. That's why her stupid ass was on it. I looked it up the second she said it, I googled that shit and I was like, okay, honey. You know, here we go again. I love that. I thought it was hilarious. Yeah. And then Kyle's like, oh, how wonderful for you. Now I also loved all. And then this eventually segued into the Yolanda Kyle fight with what we're talking about. But what I loved about that was the way Yolanda totally started the fight. She's like, why are you nodding your head? You have something to say? Why don't you say it to the table? You know, like shut up, Yolanda, like everyone's just awful. There. Well, Yolanda is really bad. Okay. So while we're talking about Yolanda, I want to read this article that was posted on our Facebook page by I believe Emmy, let me see, put it here, da, da, da, da, da. I think it was Emmy, whatever. Let's just do it. Oh, Michael Cook actually gave us this one. But this is from reality T and it's about Yolanda Foster that her friendship with Lisa Vanderpump, the breakup seems to be real because they're talking crap about each other. And David Foster just gave an interview in the Canadian press and he says, she's doing the show for a specific reason. And a reason is that she wants to have a lifestyle and fitness show, David revealed. She's very good at it and she's very good at giving advice. She had a previously, she previously hosted such a show in her native Netherlands. And she thinks, and she's right, that the Beverly Hills Housewives shows a platform for her to tell her lime story and to get her point across and then catapult her to the show that she ultimately wants to do. And then just the last thing, the last thing, the Beverly Hills show, like she says, is just a bunch of clowns trying to make a living, he quit. Oh, that is awesome. Then he just made fun of his wife then. Yeah, exactly. And so they asked Lisa about this on some red carpet and she said, a bunch of clowns, well, I must be the hardest working clown in the business, Lisa responded. That is, oh my God, that should be her tagline, the hardest working clown. Oh my God, I need that. I need that on my business. That'll be her opening line next season to be like, Beverly Hills is a three-wing circus. And I'm the hardest working clown. That's genius. Oh my God, I used to be the ringmaster. No, I'm on on my own. I like to have fun, but I don't like to have fun. I like having fun unless it's fun. So there's something else I wanted to bring up as is black people don't swim thing because I have heard that as a joke before. And I'm not standing up for Brandy, okay? But I have heard people say that, well, my black friend said it. But I thought it was just stupid. So I googled it, you guys, there are so many fucking articles and like BBC documentary or whatever about this. And it's fascinating. I did not know that that was a real thing. But that makes sense. Well, here's what I love about that though, Brandy's like, because they don't want their weave to get messed up, cut to her at the dinner table, her weave falling out. I know. Why am I just going to say that? Well, you know, here's the truth. The majority of my black friends have made jokes about like, oh, I'm black. I don't swim, whatever. And it's like, and I've made jokes with them too, but you know, there's context is everything, you know? There's still black people there. So don't make the jokes. Oh, there was joys. No, but there's a, you know what, there's a time and a place to say those jokes. And there's also a way to say it. And the way Brandy said it really was with a tin ear. It sounded more on the racist side than on the joke side, you know? Like, nobody laughed. Did you see that? Everyone was like, what the hell did she just say? Yeah. She's kind of awful. And she's really painting herself into a bot. What that's not even a saying, but I've noticed that people are really starting to dislike her because when she first came on, she was a victim because Kim and Kyle were so mean to her. So she had the whole victim thing for the whole season, which bought her, you know, a regular spot on the show, right? Time is drama too. Right. So then her first full season, she mostly stayed quiet. She got in trouble a couple of times, but she was still wearing off the victim thing. Well, now this year, she doesn't have any of that and she's, and people have actually made her successful. They've bought her book and so these fans feel like they own her now and they hate her ass. I don't know if you've read her Bravo blogs at all, but wow. What do you mean? Tell me. Well, normally they'll delete things on the Bravo blogs, if there's a lot of hate towards the housewives, they delete it. Not on the real princesses of Long Island because I've enjoyed a lot of time reading some nifty blogs. Oh, that's awesome. Well, yeah, they don't care about them. They probably never even went to that blog. They probably just put it up and left. And it's the best blogs. Like people are so mean. But Kyle, like if Kyle has mean things said about her, they take them down. They had to take down an entire phae resmic blog last year because it was so hateful. And this year, they're just hating on Brandy and it's amazing because she is a bitch and she needs to be called on it. That's ridiculous. Like, I guess speaking your mind, but don't be a dick about it, my God, says, so was there anything else major that we didn't touch on this episode or should we move on to Vanderpump rules? I'm just in a truck. Just checking. Brandy as an asshole. Oh, well, let's talk about all the chem stuff because that was all great. Oh, yes. It's on fire. I am absolutely loving her this season. I love how uncut I love that weird vignettes of her having the vibrator joke with her daughter in her cut with Joyce getting ready. It was so weird. Remember that I was trying to understand thematically, I guess, I'm like the packing element, but it was so it was just so jarring just packing different things, but what those women pack is crazy anyway, but the fact that she had to go to the flight store on Beverly. That's where, like, traveling to Europe for, like, three months, for this whole summer. We're going to go summer in Europe, so you go to the flight store and get all your crazy shit from there. She showed up. She showed up at the place with a wallet full of euros. This is eating in Palm Springs, isn't it? It's like, you know, you know you're not flying to Palm Springs, right? You're not Yolanda. Yolanda's, okay, really last thing you're right. Yolanda's Louis Vuitton bag, her suitcase, which is like private jet luggage, to Palm Springs was hysterical, but at least I had to help her carry it. Oh, yeah. Right? Like, that's seriously like a $20,000 bag. Then you cut to Brandy and crazy Carlton's room where it's like bags. You got the fancy jogs and I saw that at a Ross because my socks got sewed on now. I had to go in and get socks somewhere and the only thing that was a Ross and I don't know if you've ever been in a fucking month is like, do you know who you're talking to you right here? I don't know who you're talking to. I'm a conversation, right? Have you been in a Ross? It's more like, how did we ever get out of the Ross? The place looks like a bomb went off in there. Like, you're digging through like piles of just shit with irregular legs and arm sizes. And the fact that she had a Betsy Johnson, she's an adult woman and she had a Betsy Bill pleather quilted bag. I just wanted to die. It was like the shitty junkie room next to the rich school room. It was just so hysterical. Well, she is, she is a witch and she is appreciating nature by getting Betsy Johnson because crap, you know, as we know, fertilizes many things in nature. Oh my God. That's why she's patronizing it. Are you guys going to get a tattoo for Christmas of, of like Carlton's? Yeah. Well, I'll get a, I'll get a tattoo of, of anything, Carlton from Fresh Prince Bel-Air. I mean, but not even for tattoos. We were alerted on our Facebook as well that this week, Carlton's blog, she's like, well, it's typical that these women would be mean about religion. You know, religious bigotry is a serious issue. I'm like, bitch, you have a crucifix that says, fuck you on your arm. You have a fucking confessional in your house as decor. Yeah. You fuck under like 20 different crucifixes that are like upside down shut up. Oh my God. And how about like, why don't you, like, I don't care that she's a wickin. Like, why don't you just like own it? Why don't you say like, yeah, no, I'm a wickin. It's actually really great. People don't know a lot of things about it. You know, animal, like we have, we have a respect for nature and animals. And since she's like, that was bloody rude to everyone, but the kicker of the entire episode for me, I have to say hands down because of last week's Jax or Kristen statement, which she was like, you guys just make the consumption that I, you know, think everyone's blah, blah, blah. This week's horrible grammar award definitely goes to Brandy when she goes, I'm, I'm sorry, I just don't understand. It genuinely was an accident. It genuinely was a accident and all you could think was brava, vera fucking, and then what did, what did Kim say in regards to the wick, uh, which thing she's like, ah, I just wasn't playing. I think my water like she was just kept on saying, I don't know what we got. Well, I don't know, I don't know, well, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. I don't know what that means. She was amazing. Okay. Yeah, it was great. Why don't we move on to Vanderpump Rules because it's time, it's time, it's time to talk to about the worst people in all of Los Angeles. No good. I need a break. So, so it was gay pride. Taking a bath. I'll be back. Oh my gosh. Laids is back in the game. Laids is back in the game. Jack's, Jack's is, he's back on the scene and he's ready to spread. He's ready to spread the yoy and by yoy, of course, we mean everything that's in his crotch. Yeah. We mean HPV and whatever else is wrong with Jack, but having sex with, yeah. Scabies. Scabies and rabies. That's, that's basically what he's spreading. Keeping it real. With, yeah. He just wants to squirt his use. Hi, hi, that was good, but yeah, so he's back. So Jack, Jack's finally had a realization, which by the way, it's always exciting when he has a realization that he and Sassy, like the Taylor Swift song are never, ever getting back together. Good for him. It is good for him. You know what? He doesn't need that winch. Since turn. Yeah. So he went, so naturally, he realized I'm going to start playing the field. So he went to one of LA's classic douchebag bars called the Wells Born, I think. And immediately... I don't know where that is. That's why I was like, what is this place? It's a place on the west side, enough said. Okay. There's the little... I know. No, it actually like looks super cool if you go to the website. It's like, it looks like it's an English study, but it's actually just full of... But you get there, and Jack's is there. Yeah. Yeah. You're like, oh, shoot. When he was hitting on the 21-year-old, that's when he started talking about his age. For some reason, I couldn't remember how old he was, and when he was in his little confession, this I thought was so funny, and good job on the editor's part. When he started saying, I'm a bartender, so I've heard all the worst one-liners. So I know to avoid those. And then he proceeds to not give one-liners, but say things that any woman who would be around his age range would immediately turn and run. When he goes, you know, I'm on 33, but I say I'm 30. You know, I don't really do the modeling thing as much anymore. I'm like, oh my God, for someone who just proclaimed to know what he should, but you know, she's 21, so it worked. Yeah. And he has a camera following him, so there you go. True. True. Oh my goodness. True. So he found a little ballerina, and then the other thing, so it was gay pride, and so Lisa, they made a float, and there wasn't too much drama. They just felt like they built a float, and the guys pretended like they didn't like talking to wings. Well, Jason was on there. Kevin Lee. Oh, yeah. I love Kevin Lee. See, now here, if you want to talk about the gay thing again, Kevin Lee is someone who's extremely flamboyant and ridiculous, but what I like about him is that I feel like he's very smart, and he's in on the joke, and he knows what he's doing. Nope. He, I feel like, does not give a bad name. No, actually, he's really well-known. He just did a birthday party for Babyface. He also did Wolfgang Puck's event, so he's really well-known and well-respected for what he does. I mean, I went to a party in Beverly Park where Adrian Maloof used to live across from Lisa Vanderpum. It was this crazy Russian billionaire lady, and as soon as you walked in, there was a black panther and a lion in two separate cages, and our whole pool was covered with acrylic furniture, and Wolfgang Puck was the caterer and Kevin Lee through the party. Wow. Oh, wow. That just, oh, an LMFAO performed. Ooh. Well, next time. Did they ever let the tiger and the panther and the lion out to just go eat everybody? Because that's the party I would have liked to see. Yeah. It's a survivalist party. Absolutely amazing. It'd be like that movie with Michael Douglas, whatever it was called, that goes in the darkness. Oh my God. It goes in the darkness, part two, goes to the darkness in Beverly Hills. Electric Boogaloo. Yeah. Beverly Hills Liger, so they built this float or whatever, and so they get on the float. Oh, so the big thing is that Shina is getting to sing her big hit that is her song, which is such a big hit with the gays, like the gays. Is it really? Like every gay person has Shina's song. Is it her feel? Are you joking? According to Shina. I think they say fantastic. According to Shina. I was, wait, I don't know. I don't want to be like, Oh my God. That's the piece of shit. And then you guys are like, Oh my God. I love it. It's in my iPod. I would like die. I believe. If it gets in my iPod, that's the equivalent of like Jax infecting a lady. It's like Shina. It's like my iPod. When I first shared that song, Shina has, Shina had her like pink lashes and everything. I have to say, Stasi is such a bitch, but she did, I think this is two episodes ago, and I'm sure you guys discussed it, but my favorite read ever, ever, ever was Stasi saying, Shina, for real, fire hoses her makeup on her face every morning. Yes. And now every time I see Shina, I have to give Stasi a little tip because Stasi it looks great actually. Yeah. You know, it was like, you know, the way the way she puts on makeup is like that scene from UHF. Uh, I remember like, UHF. Oh my God. Do you guys remember that movie? Oh, Derek references. I know. We're like living. No, there's a scene where Michael Richardson in this movie, and he's like Stanley Spadowski, and he has like a children's show. And he has like a little kids on there and he's like, are you ready to drink from the fire hydrant? And everyone's like, yeah, are you ready? Yeah. The little kid like opens his mouth. They open his fire hydrant. It's like giant, like forceful. There's gushing one. It's like shoots the kid through the wall. I'm like, that's, that's how Shina put on. I think, I think this whole, um, Vanderpump rules episode. It was like the opposite of the little rascals where they wanted to enter a car race, so they had to build their own car and they're, you never saw their parents. Oh my God. Can I wait? Can we just talk about what Shina said? My favorite was is, okay, so Walter is, is really just can't do Vanderpump rules, but I force him. I physically force him to watch it. It's kind of like in, um, a clockwork orange. Remember where they like held his eyeballs open? Okay. So it's like that. And basically the part where she goes in to do her songwriting session, and she makes it out like it takes like two minutes. You just hear a beat and you're like, okay, and I want to like make sure the song is about like worked, worked, worked, drink and fuck. Okay. Yeah. I like a direct word. But the question was, what's your message, Shina? That's right. Hot, hot fucking. Sounds like trash. Makes it big in Hollywood. And then when she, he goes, okay, so something like this, and she goes, love that. And then when they go to leave, she goes, oh my God, work, work, work, drink, fuck, mission accomplished. That's too matching. But you have mentioned seriously before the last session, meeting the studio after doing a songwriting session. And she's like, oh my God, work, work, drink, fuck, mission accomplished. You laugh, but I would actually probably. I would. But you're like, look, you guys, I'm sorry if my song is stuck in your head, but you're singing it. Yeah. But yeah, you're singing. It's awful when I, that was, her voice is the worst thing about her. And that says a lot. She has one of the worst voices on Bravo and her speaking voice is terrible. It's like, she doesn't even know that she can use her larynx. Everything's through her. Hi, I'm Shina and I talk through my nose. I can't, I haven't used it since like, 1980s that, you know what? I think she's trying to be a Kardashian. I'm not kidding when I say this. I think she's like obsessed with the Kardashians and she's kind of you are getting her a lot of credit. It's very sweet of you. That should even have a goal. I know. No, she's doing that thing where it's like, I'm just feel like I don't care and like, you know, it's like the long drawn out nasally voice that's so fucking obnoxious. I want to punch her in the mouth. Well, you know, what's also funny is that she actually thought much like Mike thought putting out an ad on a bus would affect his real estate sales that she thought by singing on a Florida gay pride would somehow be a big break. Like it would be like this magic spell, like this glitter would fall on all the gays and they'd rush home to their iTunes to download it. Let me tell you something. When you're standing there on the sidewalk as these floats can buy, you just hear like general beats. You don't even hear music. There's so much noise and everything. The last thing you are going to hear is this wretched song and then be like, Oh my God, I got to download that. You're more like, get that. Guys, we should be a gay pride and go download Sheena's song. Oh my goodness. We should get a float, grand float, grand float auto for us and we should do, can we do a watch for crap and slow out fund it. How do we, how do we get in the gay pride parade? No, I'm telling you, that's what you do. You as a, I'm an actual business owner. Oh, you're a member of the Beverly Hills Chamber of Commerce. No. I'm like, what? No. Here's the thing. It's true. Like I own a business in Hollywood. So I'm going to sort of segue this to do like the, some sort of nail flow where it's like nailed it, but then we can have the watch what crappins in the back. Oh my God. I think we should do it. And especially. So we are on the float. Can we just talk about that for a second? Peter is the only one who does any fucking work. He's sitting here stapling. He's looking hot. He's the, I love how he's turning 30. I think he was a lot older. He is not turning 30. I'm sorry. Like he's worked there for like five years and he was 31. He got the job. Yeah. That guy is turning his 40. He's 30. You know, back when he used to do a lot of modeling. Like this is turning 52 by ass. I love that the only time Tom has any kind of personality is when he's like miles away from Kristen. Yeah. It's a personation of Sheena when he did the dance routine was amazing. Oh my God. He knew it like spot on and he did it twice. Yes, he did in the little split. The fact that he could do, you know what? There's something secretly hot about Tom when he's not around Kristen. I totally dig him because he's like kind of like cute and sexy and whatever. You know the right amount of dumb, right? Yeah. You've never been in any arguments. That's the fact that he gets an arguments with Katie. It's like, or with Kristen, I'm shot. They're arguing. It's like, it's like dumb and dumber. Like Lloyd and Harry get an, an argument on the back of their moped. So it's, you know, that's the two of them. Well, they got like an amazing argument because later in the episode, Kristen decided, horse face number one decided to go after Ariana and be like, cause she had read her. Ariana. She had read some of her texts where she had said to Tom, like, like, oh my God, wish it were Coachella. Yeah. And like, yeah, we'll just, we'll do it in the backyard or whatever. And so, so Kristen goes up to Ariana and she's like, have you like, have you like ever hooked up with Tom? And Ariana's like, no. Like ever? Like, no. Like ever, like ever like before after whatever. Wait, are you sure? Are you sure? I don't know. I know. I know. She's like, let me check down there. Um, they say no. And then she's like, and then she tells us, she's like, you know, like, she just like said, no. And like, I didn't like how calm and collected about it. She was. I'm like, shut up. You're so stupid. But the best is Ariana just sitting there. And Kristen's like going in a downward spiral and I see, you know, she's like standing there crying. I'm like, it's just, we're like in a really tough place right now. There's like a lot of rumors and Ariana just standing there and being like, can you get on my face, please? Yeah. Get the fuck away from my bar. You're embarrassing yourself. No. Meanwhile, Ariana continued, I, she's my favorite of the women because she got, she had to deal with that stupid bullshit on the float when they're like team A and team B were the fun team and they're the not fun team. And that was your head and mainly not by Stossie, but by that new psychic that Stossie has, who is one of the vilest creatures on the show? Who is that girl? Danny? No, not her. She's bad too. But the new one, she's like named like Jordana or I don't know. I don't know, you know, she's like the pretty one that like Stossie used to be best friends with. But then she hates Jack's and now that now they're friends again. No. She's the one when they went to brunch with a four and one to brunch. She won the four. The skinny one. Yeah. The skinny one. That is exactly who I think it is every single time. Olivia Palermo, I'm telling you, it's like she shaved some years off of her and she's back in the game, man. And she's just as much of a bitch as Lydia's. I love that she's telling Jack's like, well, you're saying that she should stop it, but you should stop it. I was like, oh my God, she needs to stop it. You only to stop it. Well, my favorite is when they're like, oh, did you hear that like Jack's took home a 21 year old and Stossie turns to Jack's, you make me sick. I'm like, bitch, you're 23. You're 23. Okay. Christina Kelly, but that's the name of the girl who looks like Olivia. She's got two K's. I'm just add another one on to her and that's about as low as some as she is. Well, how about how lovely is it that Katie's like, oh my God, I can't believe what happened and stops. It's like, what do you mean? Oh, you don't now. Oh, Katie. Love it. Good. What a good friend. That's these are all bitches. Meanwhile, to me, the biggest bitches turning out to be Lisa Vanderpump. Yeah. Well, why? That's a lover. I don't know why. I just love her. I, because, because I feel like she's, she's in it with all of them. She's winding all of them up and she does that with the housewives, but she tries to act above it. And I'm like, just own it. Just own every single time someone walks into a restaurant, she's like, ah, the service is terrible. But I'm amazing. And look at these flower arrangements. No, no, Lisa does wind them. She's like, I hear, I hear that Jack's has been back out on the seat. Oh, go, go back to work on the float. No. What? I'll carry on. Carry on. I love that where she's like, uh, get to stapling. You know, she's like, out at everyone. I know. You know what, that flow, you know what that flow should have been called, not like the surfload, that should have been called bitches on wheels, because that's what they were. They were bitches on wheels, rolling down, Santa Monica, right when she was waving. She's like, I hate this right now. Oh my God. I'd rather be at sir. This is ridiculous. And she's waving to people and I'm thinking all those people that were waving and saw this whole thing go down. Like, what a, what a fucking bitch. Seriously. Like, and just know that no gay, and no gay people like Stasi, that's the thing. She's not a gay icon in any sort of way. Everyone hates stuff. She's no Sheena. That's what she's. She's no Sheena. She's no Sheena. It's not just her own song. Oh, I'm going to love you to the moment. But you gotta love Sheena. I mean, not Sheena. You gotta love Stasi for certain things like, Oh my God, we have to hear her song that many times. It's like a donkey kicking me in the head 47 times. I mean, every, every sixth confessional, Stasi says something totally on point that cracks me up. Totally true. Like the one time when she was like, I mean, Jax, Jax is the one who told me this, but then he lies about everything to make himself look better and he's a complete idiot. So I'm just like, Oh, I kind of love when you say that shit. You are terrible though. It's not funny how they just all just, just openly reference the fact that he's a huge liar. But you know, he just lies all the time and he just like said, you know, the promo was like, for the last, for not last episode, the one before Jax might have cancer and they're like, yeah, so he doesn't have cancer. We never really thought he had cancer. He just lies. You know, when they were riding the bikes, I have to say this one, the three boys were riding their bikes and Jax was like, I mean, dude, you know, I just have this like self realization because, you know, because of my cancer scare, I'm like, get a fucking ingrown hair on your network. It's like, you know, it's like, you know, it's like, yeah, it's like, yeah, it's like, yeah, it's like, yeah, it's like, yeah, it's like, yeah, it's like, yeah, it's like, yeah. Life is short. I got to get back to banging as many women before you die. That's basically what they were. That's basically what he knows. That was a takeaway. That was a takeaway. So then at the very end, then Kristen and Tom have some ridiculous fight outside of sir, as all the gays are flowing by. And I think she's, well, first she tried to trap him and be like, Ariana told me everything and he's like, okay. And then she's like, uh, like, do you think this is okay to say this, do you think this is okay? That's okay. That's how she speaks. You think that like, what if like, what if my girlfriend is like, text him, you think that's cool. He's like, yeah, babe. And then like, I don't remember if I was, she was just like crying, I mean, like, like, you went and like went off to Vegas and had unprotected sex with a whore in the shower in Vegas. Like, oh, that's like now cool. That's the girl's fault. Everyone's calling this girl a skink. It's like, well, Tom is the one who was in the relationship number one. Let's stop with the slut-shading. And number two, their relationship ended when they didn't have sex for three months. And like, you know what, it ended before the cheating happened, because these two do not need to be together. They should have broken up probably three years ago. Yeah. Okay. You know what? And what's Hollywood is fucking expensive? Yeah. That's true. Listen, he's like, hey, babe, I just don't have my license yet, so I still need you to drive me around. So let's just stay in this relationship till I'm off probation. Oh, my God. I totally forgot about that. Oh, my God. What losers? Yeah, that was, by the way, Lisa, that was the season one thing, is that Tom got a bunch of, like, Parkinson's. Oh, I know. I've watched all of this. Okay. I wasn't sure. I wasn't sure. But I appreciate it, because the plot lines are so convoluted, it's easy to forget the Jack's head cancer last episode. Yeah. Oh, my God. I love that he said cancer, like, 20 times. He's like, well, you know, after that cancer scare, you know, when I thought I was dying of cancer, you know, back... That is my horoscope sign is cancer. Let me tell you something, if I reacted the way Jack did every time I thought I had cancer, I'm telling you, I would be living like that every time you get a cold. No, I'm saying, like, I'm the biggest type of contract. Every time I have an illness, I think I have cancer. But like, this guy, he makes me look like I'm very sane. Okay. He's really, he makes Kim Zolciak and her cancer scare look like a rational life experience. Oh, my God. I forgot about that too. Wow. That is like some OG cancer scare shit on top. That's right. Wow. Because Kim Zolciak, why don't we move on to Atlanta? Oh. We have to move to Atlanta. We just have to move on to Atlanta. Oh, God. This was, this was the episode of the season so far. If you ask me. Oh, this was amazing. Mama Joyce done gone batch. Oh, my God. She brought reinforcements for her crazy this time around. And man, was it amazing? They were all crazy. So did anything else even happen in this episode or should we just talk? Let's just get back to Mama Joyce. With Kenya, Kenya cried about like her unresolved issues with her mom and Portia fainted off camera and was like, oh, this honestly is hot. And then, um, oh, we know. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. Was she going to pick up HIV prescription? Just her story and like, like, like temptation that would have been amazing if Cordell was a pharmacist. And for those of you who haven't seen temptation, that's the way it ends. But also you haven't seen temptation. What are you doing? Yeah. Basically it ends with the couple and temptation get divorced, but they still. Spoiler alert. But since the, since the, since the husband's a pharmacist, the wife, even though she's they're divorced, like 30 years down the line, she keeps coming to him for her HIV medication because she got HIV. So that's Lord. That's kind of like this episode played out. Wait a second. Oh, is that for real? That is a real movie. That is a very temptation. This is a spoiler alert. But you know what? Everyone, the movie's still really great. What happens is that it's so that journey, journey is small. Because she cheats, she gets HIV and it's like, it's like fast forward 30 years. And she's her husband has now moved on and has a hot young wife, but has a pharmacist of his pharmacy of his own and journey, Smollett has to hobble in with a limp and get her AIDS medication from her ex-husband. From the only pharmacy within 500 miles. She has to go to the one better ex. Yeah. I'm actually, why, why did you guys even waste your brain with this movie? It was the exact opposite. I've had some room earlier. So I think my reasons are self-explanatory. No, no, Katie, Katie, Tyler for her temptation is the best comedy of the year. It was absolutely amazing. I reckon. We'd watch it then because I feel like I... We'll go. You know what, Katie, we'll crack open a bottle of wine and all four of us will watch this movie. It is really amazing. Oh my God. Ken Kardashian plays Shina. It's really cool. Yeah, Ken Kardashian's in it. I forgot. Ew. Oh my God. This is such bullshit. Yeah. Only years of training for watch, we're crappin'. And this is what happened. So anyway, so, you know, Portia went into the pharmacy to get meds for her fainting. And then she goes and she decides to use the free blood pressure machine, which promptly announces that she has stage one hypertension. She's like, "Ha!" And like her expression, it was so great I got stage one hypertension. That was a highlight for me. I liked it. She doesn't know what it is. So she's like, "Well, you know, that's Portia trying to do some voodoo on me. I ain't takin' it." I was like, "Oh no, you're so stupid. You're too stupid." I wish the machine could just be like, "Too stupid to live. Please make your way towards the razor blade I hope soon." I was like, "Well, I do have a lot of tension in my life and I do get a little high percent. It makes sense, makes sense." Oh my God. I have a condition, but I forgot what it's called. Hmm. Oh my goodness. Well, in the Cynthia Bailey news, we learned that Cynthia Bailey's dog's name is Bailey. Which I think is a little weird. That's like me having a dog named. Wait, did she name it after her agency abbreviated? I think so. I mean, could you imagine having a dog named after her last name? It'd be like, "Timmons, come over here, Timmons." Timmons. Timmons. Actually, that's adorable. I'm gonna do that. Like I'm like, "That's cute. I like that." Guys, I had to take Mandelker to the vet. Well, I put Mandelker down. That's fucking okay. Oh my God. It's awful. And also I had breast cancer. It was really sad. Actually, I think it was just in front of her, but whatever. I put it down just to be safe. I've given my cat too many proteins. Don't tell Carlton. She'll be so mad. I was telling a story about how I had to put down midnight, and you walked away. Oh God, that fucking cat thing. I'm so mad at you for ignoring my cat story. My cat ate a bird, and you walked away. I know, if you believe that, I was like, "What the hell are these idiots talking about?" Well, Cynthia Bailey has a dog named Bailey, but more importantly, her super hot ex-husband, Leon, came to talk to Noel about boys, et cetera, and I'm like, every time Leon appears on the show, I'm always like, "What the fuck is wrong with Cynthia Bailey? She is with, like, a sheister, like, an old fat sheister." And she gave up this hot, smart guy who's got to shoot together words. Oh, amazing. Oh my goodness. He is dreamy as hell. What is wrong? It's a big dream boat. The three of them should have just, like, she shifts date, and they could have just been a beautiful family because Noel is, you know, she's growing up, you know, she's on the right path, genetics-wise. She's gorgeous, and she looks so much like both of them. She looks a lot like her dad. She looks a lot like her dad. The daughter? Yeah. Yeah. Huh, okay. No, you don't think so? I don't know. I just, you know what, I don't think either of them are the dad. No, I think, no, I think that Noel looks a lot like Leon. She looks like a lot like her dad. They have the same idea. Oh, yeah. For sure. I didn't see that. I really didn't. I tried to, like, you know, get the whole thing of it, but I feel like when Cynthia hugged Leon when he was leaving, you know, she was like, "Oh, so young and tight." Right? She's like, "Someone who makes proper financial decisions." It feels different, somehow. Someone who's responsible and has education. Oh, my God. Someone who's not in love with Cordell. Someone who hasn't spent my money to rent out a gigantic building I don't need. Oh. I love that. That is not kind of my game. Is that that weird? What was that? Could you imagine? I mean, I just don't understand. What is the building going to be for? It's for our business. It's for our business, baby. It's for everything we're going to buy together, you know, we're going to take over the world. Oh, my God. Get a fucking job, dude. It's going to be for the bar one t-shirt manufacturing. Wait a second. Where does Peter, what does Peter actually do? Does anyone know? He uses Cynthia's money to build, like, open things and then have them go out of business. He and Apollo should open a fake business together. It would be very successful. Yeah, that'd be great. That'd be great. You can open up a, like, a clothing store that's, like, the quintessential or do a cookbook. Or yes, fine. Like, Preston Christine. It's where they're going to film all of the future editions of the Donkey Booty Exercise video. Alexis Gator. Yeah. Oh, God. Yes. Gigi's extensions. Oh, my God. Gigi's extensions. It's really just her phone. It's her multiline phone system. Yeah. It's just for office. Gigi's extensions. Oh, my God. I need Gigi's extensions, then. I would love that. That's a really good business, then. She's really big in the B2B sector. So, anyway, and then, let's see, in the Phaedra news, basically, she and Apollo made up. For now. Until we fucks up again. She made a creepy face out of clay to show how good she is at reconstructing. I'm loving to have something. If she has a dead body come through her mortuary that's got its face blown off. I feel like every single one of those that buys the face that she reconstructs is going to be... It's going to look like the bust from the Lionel Richie video. Hello. That's what's going to look like every single one. Her particular form of racism is dead people. She thinks they all look the same. Yeah. They're just looking very creepy. But no, the real fun of the show was Mamma Yoyce, who... Yeah, I love that. Mamma Yoyce. Went crazy. So, basically, Candy is like, "See, I've got a wedding to go do." And so, I was like, "Rally, let's try some dresses." 'Cause like, "Time!" He wants to move forward, and I'm like, "Mama, you're going to move forward, and this will be a nice, like a nice, fun thing for Rally." She sounds like a clown horn when she talks. Ah, clown horn. So anyway, they went to go... The hardest working clown horn in Atlanta. Ah! Ah! I remember. See? Oh, are we making donkey booty noises now? So like, he was going so good. Oh, my God. Oh, she's a clown horn. See? So, basically, they went to go dress shopping, and so Candy went with her assistant, whose name I can't remember. It's like Crystal or something like that. And Mamma Yoyce has been spreading rumors that Todd and this woman have had relations. Oh, my God. She's terrible. Yeah, and Mamma Yoyce keeps on claiming that it's like, they've been saying it. I've been hearing it from around town. So this is obviously, like, the assistant hates this, like I mean, I would be insulted if there was some crazy old bat who kept on saying I was sleeping with my friends, like husband or whatever. And so they go to get the dresses on, and Candy goes in the back room to try and address, and so basically there's a guy named Kwami there and this girl, and then Mamma Yoyce walks in, and she doesn't, she doesn't just walk in, she walks in with her two sisters on each side of her. And then you know it's on. Because you got both ants there, and when you got Mamma Yoyce and the ants, you know, there's going to be one. They were not even going to try to listen to Reason, which I love. They're going to be on her side no matter what happens. Yeah. So we're just like, uh, you know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? Yeah. So Candy's like, I can't do it. She's like, I can't do a bent impression of candy. Just do a Reza. Do a Reza. It's close. I put on this. I was trying on the dress and I was like, Riley, does this look good on me? Riley, like I've watched strapless Riley, or see, I sort of like it with a strap up, or maybe a strap up. And then Mamma Yoyce is just like, mm-mm, I don't like it. Like, why don't you, I just, don't, she's like, okay, I'll go try on another one. Then he hits goes the back. And what, well, my, well, Mamma Yoyce says, what is under her breath while Candy's gone is? She must start. She was experiencing somebody else. No, just, oh, she ain't wearing that dress anyway. Oh, yeah. She ain't gonna need it. And she's like, now, why you gotta say that? What are you talking about? I'm doing the same thing. She went crazy. It was like, ugh, I'm a thing. You are family. Like, oh my God, I love when Mamma Joyce goes crazy. I'm a choice. This is the craziest she's ever gone because-- She took off her clob. She took off her old lady clob. She took off her shoe to throw it at that girl. Okay. She was ready to beat ass down that girl, beat her ass down with that shoe. You know what the show was titled? The episode was titled, "Old Lady and the Shoe." That is amazing. That is, that is amazing. No, it was not. And then the best was, the best is Mamma Joyce gets up and so Kwame is holding her back. And then this other aunt with the glasses, she just, she said that she goes, why you can't talk into the girl? She's like, you keep talking. You keep talking. Why you keep talking? I'm like, cause, you know, like she was responding to Mamma Joyce. Yeah, Mamma Joyce was being so mean and just awful and I mean it's so clear now that she's just wants that money. You know, she's just evil now, like off the charts evil. Did you guys see when Candy had like a mental breakdown with Fantasia Burino and watch what happened? Okay. Now, I was, I was just going to get to that because I did not get to watch the whole thing because my thing didn't record the sound but I went because you said it was so good. I went and watched clips online and this is Candy and he's like, so, you know, everybody say that your mom's basically using you for money. She goes, what? Now listen, listen, listen in here, listen, Andy, now let me, let me just address that. Right. Your voice. Oh my God. Get away. Oh my God. Oh my God. It was like a straw going in and out of a cup. I was like, we need to do a mashup of her with Reza crying. Yes. Yes. No, but Fantasia went a little crazy and like to her, she's like, you know, I'm going to say nothing. I love Fantasia. Fantasia is my favorite and Fantasia knows about family using your ass. She had a whole show about it, she's like, why do you think I try to kill myself with aspirin? Oh my God. I remember when Fantasia had an aspirin overdose and Fantasia's like, I'm in the hospital. I OD'd. I asked for me. I just thought of Fantasia. I know Fantasia. When you believe, if I believe, well, my favorite Fantasia song is, I need a thug boy. Not be this in chains. He looks so pretty, but he acts so mean. I love it. Why is when she spells B-A-B-Y-M-A-M-A? It's the first thing she ever spelled, actually. Oh yeah, but you last. God bless. Thank God for those on set tutors. She showed up on American Idol a few seasons ago, like maybe like two or three years ago, and she sang some crazy song where if you look at Simon Cattle, he's like, I'm just going back and forth. She came out there doing her like toad from like Super Mario Brothers, boy. She's like, I'm back and it was like this crazy, like, I don't know what you're doing. I was like, oh my God, boy, this is there. I love her so much. I love that song too. I'm trying to remember what that song was, but it was so funny. She's like, I don't know what I'm saying, I don't know what I'm saying. God. And she's like, in this big, like weird, like, pleather, like, unit hard thing, and she's like going back and forth. That's when she died. Her hair red, like, bright red, and she gained a bunch of weight, and she was sweating all over in her leather pants and jumping up and down. Simon's out with the Felix the Cat clocking. Oh. He looks back forth, but his head didn't move. To be fair, he always looks like that. That is true. But it was even more. In fact, after he left, he was like, what the hell is that? It was like, that's my favorite Fantasia moments. That was like a bloody cat. Oh, my God. I love Fantasia so much. I can't imagine. That was like a bloody cat getting acupuncture in Beverly Hills. I could just see the pain going away in Midnight's eyes. God. Oh, God. We were laughing so hard, that's so not really fun. That is why your cat jumped off the balcony. Yeah. No kidding. So anyway, so back to mom and Joyce and everything. So what I love is that this went on for, like, 10 minutes, by the way. It'd be like, mom and Joyce would sit down, and then the girl would say something, and mom would always get up with her shoe. It was literally like almost like a parody of itself. It's like what you would imagine seeing her. A serious Springer. Yeah. It really-- It was your Springer. And so then finally, like, Candy comes out, and then she tries on, like, one last dress. And then finally, there's one aunt, this one old aunt who's sitting there silently the entire time. What does she say? She's like, I don't want you to get married. And then the other one's like, I don't want you to marry me either. My favorite was when-- And my favorite was when Candy's like, what is going on? And they're like, well, I don't know how it started. But that girl, I'm like, you do know how it started. I love the way that they relayed the story to Mama Joyce. It's like, that girl came in with the baseball bat, beat the shit out of your mother, shoved it up her, left, came back, and poked her eyes with a popsicle stick. And now she's running up. It's like, what the-- None of that happened. None of that happened. That woman, oh, maybe her name is Lauren. She just was sitting there. She sat there the entire time, did not lose her cool whatsoever. And Mama Joyce is being held back by a Kwame, holding her like, you know, pay less shoe, trying to throw it at this woman. Oh, my gosh. Oh my gosh. He's being visual. Her clog. Yeah. Oh, that was honestly like, I could not stop laughing. That was really one of the most sublime moments in the history of Real Housewives of Atlanta. Well, does that bring us to a nice, tidy end? Or is there any other shows that you guys wanted to talk about this week? I feel like I'm at a tidy end. No top-- I'll just mention real quickly, we have not forgotten about Top Chef, but it's boring. Nothing's happening. What? I love-- oh, my God. It's so good. In restaurant wars. I love this yawn. But I do-- I did watch Courtney Love's Dallas, and I've never seen that girl because-- Oh, because I got a millionaire matchmaker. I didn't watch that one. Did all of you guys watch a millionaire matchmaker? I watched it. I did. I mean, if only we did, then I don't know if it's worse. Basically, Patti yelled at everyone. I love when Patti yelled at people. Yeah, I like it. You know what? I can't watch at this point with Bravo. I just have to say this because I saw all the new previews for some of the new shows like "Toned Up," which I will not be watching, "Toned Up," some other dumbass show where it's-- again, it's like-- is it now-- it's like Real Housewives of Atlanta, but in New York. Oh, yeah. The Real Housewives of New York is coming back. I saw the crowd before that. Yes. No, but they've got another-- they've got another show called "Something in Heels." What is it? I know what you're talking about. I can't remember. Yeah, there's a lot of shows that are really confusing. Where are the white women at? Like, no offense, but like, why does it either have to be all white or all black? Why can't we mix it up? Throw a Kim in there. Please. Throw a Kim in. Well, they have-- there's a new show coming out called "A Hundred Days of Summer." That'd be about Chicago. That's coming out. But I happened to turn on the TV the other day, and Bravo was like entering at like nine in the morning, a preview of "A Hundred Days of Summer," and I watched like ten minutes of it, and then it's God-awful people. God-awful. They should never have let that crew do it. Yeah, it looked so boring. It was stupid. And they have this, like, big black guy who's obviously gay. He's like, "Ooh, I love the women." He's like, "Oh, I love women in their shirts." And I was like, "Oh, God." Oh, God. Oh, God. I can't-- The whole thing was awful. And they then have a resin moment. I was like, "Oh boy, you better come over here." Do you know how hard it was for me to be gay in this town, and how you're acting like this? Oh. That's some Persian for him to be in the closet, like, white people are like, "Oh, I'm Flynn Boya." But Persians are like, "Hey, I'm a straight man." Oh, my God. You know what? It's not hard to be gay. You know what? It's hard to be gay. Oh, Oklahoma. How about that? God, get off of your rich Persian who lives in Beverly Hills. Yeah. Nobody feels bad for you. Matthew Shepard, you asshole. No kidding. He's alive. Seriously. Like, stop it. I'm going to punch him in his stupid clown mouth and he needs to be the last thought. Except that Courtney is really stupid. I saw that show. And she's like, "I'm a fashion boy." Oh, my gosh. She's like, "I'm 30." I'm like, "No, you're not." And she's like-- She is not 30. No way. I just keep showing up at my door. I love it. All I saw was boxes kept coming to the door and said, "Oh, my God, I'm going to try this on." And I was like, "Oh, I hate this bitch. How does anybody watch her? How did she get a spin-off? How did she get an original show? What happened to the plastic surgery in Dallas? We should be doing Dallas, Texas. Let's do better. Yeah. Let's raise our game. You're right. You're right. How did she get her own show? I have no idea. There's no offense. Not really. She doesn't know the likability factor at all. I get Bethany. I don't get her. Yeah. She sat there and opened fucking boxes and tried on clothes that she got for free because of her balaga. Yes, by the way, for the record, if anyone wants to send us free things, you're more than welcome. Oh, we need to get a P.O. box. Emmy tried to send us a T-shirt one, so we didn't have a damn P.O. box. I'm going to go get one. That's really funny. We'll get one. We'll get one. Ooh, yeah, but we can't accept packages, so if someone tries to bomb us, P.O. boxes, they can bomb the P.O. box. Yeah. Oh, they can. Yeah. Well, we'll check it. You know, we'll check it once a year. Okay, everybody. Well, thank you so much for listening to us this week, and thank you. You can find our special guests, you can find Katie on the TV Guide Network when our show comes back on. When is your show coming back on? It's the new show, though, right, Katie? I know, and it's not going to be on TV Guide Network. It's going to be on a bigger network. Oh, what a baller, yeah. Can you announce it yet or what? I can't. It's really funny. I honestly would rather announce it on Watchful Crap-ins first above anyone even calling my mom. I would like to do this. Wow. Wow. So the exclusive. Oh, my God. I think I'm going to give Watchful Crap-ins the exclusive, and I will fully allow all of the listeners and yourselves to shit talk every moment of the show. Halleluh. Halleluh. Halleluh. Halleluh. So thank you, Katie. You can find Katie on Twitter @ThePaintedNail, and you can find her on Instagram. @ThePaintedNail as well. Right, Katie? Yeah. It's all the people who write super nice stuff on the Watchful Crap-ins page. I love you, my dad, Randy Miller. You just asked her ever. Yeah. And then you can find our lovely Lisa Timmons on Twitter @TimmonsLisa, and you can also find her and Ben on their other podcast banter with Ben and Lisa, just search it every place that has taste and podcasts. Halleluh. You can find Ben Mantle Kerr at besideblog.com, where he writes hilarious requests. Or on every social network at besideblog. You can find me at trash.tv.com. I'm writing Grillhouse as a Beverly Hills recap, so you can find me on Twitter @TrashTweetTV or on YouTube at trash.tv spell T-E-E-V-E-E. And that's it. We will see you next time. Love you guys. Thanks for being here. Come to our Facebook page and tell us what you want to talk about next time, facebook.com/watchwalkcrap-ins or on Twitter @whatcrap-ins. Oh, bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the internet. The folks behind the side show network have launched a new YouTube channel called Wait For It. It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza Schlesinger, Slicing Driving Friends with it for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there, and I still have a hard time with the last name of it, our very own Owen Benjamin, that's me, takes you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes and much more. You don't have to wait any longer. Just go to youtube.com/waitforaccomity. There's no need to wait for it anymore because it's here and it's funny and I love you. A few days ago, Brooke Todine posted an inspirational quote on her wall that got 17 likes and three comments. Thumbs up, Brooke. Geico also wants to make a comment. 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Because buried in the depths of the internet is the Kill List, a cache of chilling documents containing names, photos, addresses, and specific instructions for people's murders. This podcast is the true story of how it ended up in a race against time to warn those who lives were in danger. And it turns out convincing a total stranger someone wants them dead is not easy. Slow Kill List on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Kill List and more Exhibit C true crime shows like Morebid, Early and Ad Free right now by joining Wondery Plus. Check out Exhibit C in the Wondery App for all your true crime listening.
