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Watch What Crappens

#106: All I Want For Christmas Is A Sweater Line, A Hollywood Star, and Mama Joyce's Approval

Broadcast on:
04 Dec 2013
Audio Format:
other

On this very special episode of "Watch What Crappens," Ben Mandelker (bsideblog.com) and Ronnie Karam (trashtalktv.com) are joined once again by Katie Cazorla, star of TVGN's "The Nail Files." The red wine is flowing, and no one is safe ? especially Kyle Richards, Yolanda Foster, and all the rest of them silly ladies on "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills."
Then it's on to "Vanderpump Rules" where Jax's cancer scare proves as warm and cuddly as one of his future sweaters. We take down Stassi for being the worst woman ever and then naturally spread the love to all the other great thinkers at Sur.
Finally, we wrap things up with talk of "Atlanta" as well as "Fashion Queens." And as a major bonus, Katie's boyfriend Walter hops on the piano and plays his seminal holiday song, "All I Want For Christmas." A singalong ensues. Come listen! Yay!
Check out our Facebook page (http://www.facebook.com/watchwhatcrappens) for announcements and to hang out with us and other listeners. Ronnie is writing recaps of the season. Check them out same night as they air (http://www.trashtalktv.com/category/real-housewives-of-beverly-hills-3/)
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Hey everyone, welcome to Watch what Crap is. The podcast has about all that crap on Bravo that we love. I'm Ben Mandelker from vsideblog.com, you can find me @vsideblog, and joining me as always is my plucky co-host, Mr. Ronnie Caron. Hi Ronnie. Hello. Hi. How could you sound so good? This is the Skype connection. It's just excellent. I know it's so good today. It's almost like we're in the exact same room. It's almost like time-worn about it's shit together. Yeah, I know. In fact, the truth is that Ronnie and I are in the same room, and we are joined by our guests, the wonderful and lovely and beautiful Katie, Kazorla. Hi Katie. Hi Katie. Hello. Party. I'm actually at Katie's house right now, and Katie's boyfriend, Fiancé, other man friend, is... Katie's Walter. Yeah. I wish you'd just call him Katie's Walter. Katie's Walter is a professional music man, truly professional, and we are using professional recording equipment. So if it sounds a little better today, that's why. Yeah, we're set up by taking pictures with Grammys. We literally have Grammys in front of us. We were just talking shit about David Foster. He was apparently extremely brave and doesn't remember his friends when it comes to wedding time. Yeah. I know. What a death. What a death. I would have brought over a jar of chocolate and red wine to his party, but if it's not grown in it, you're like... That's why you weren't invited. Yeah. You're like a fucking garden. You're like a bitch with all the chocolate. The only chocolate I like is chocolate from Holland, or the one that I grow and the chocolate trees in my backyard. Yeah. What a wonderful work for me for a couple of weeks when I first moved here. Oh my gosh, we can... Shut up, Giovanni. What are you... Can you... Don't identify this sound. Cheers. It's the sound of Yolanda's balls clinking together. This is called the sound of I'm never doing this podcast again, unless we're in this house drinking chocolate, holding Grammys. Drinking chocolate. That sounds amazing. I know. We're in a bar. We're eating chocolate and drinking wine at the same time. How fun is this? We're eating organic... Where's that? ...chocolates that are made specifically for red wine. Yeah. So we're drinking wine, eating chocolate, and I'm about to talk some bravo. So Ronnie, by the way, is @trashtweettv. Just come find me at TrashTalkTV.com and we have funny recaps and I'm doing Real Housewives at Beverly Hills night of every single week. Oh my gosh. And Katie is @ThePaintedNail on Twitter and all those social media problems. Man, I just talk about random things. I've been lately talking about Kim Kardashian and how vile I think she is. Oh yeah, Kardashian is fucking vile. She is vile. She has 10% of the Philippines suck it bitch. Meaning that Kim took 90% of her charity, not that? Yeah. She had a big charity thing for the Philippines disaster and kept 90% of it. Yeah. She advertised her eBay closet clean out for the Philippines to help raise money and then decided that she had to keep 90% for operating expenses. Yeah, it costs a lot to take a couple photos and put them up on eBay. I know, it's a lot. Close your porn ones. They were probably given to you for free. So that's the grossest part. Well last year people were posting links on our Watch with Crap and Facebook page, which is Facebook.com's last one of Crap and which is all join and like apparently, which I didn't know this, but all the housewives have eBay pages because they can only wear things once on TV because you don't want to look like a cheapskate. So they wear it and then they sell it and Vicky's the worst and she has all these reviews of like people are writing reviews on eBay like, well, I got it, but it smelled like pits because. Oh my God. Her big. He's not even dry cleaning home. He's just like sending that out, shoves it in a FedEx tube and sends it off to Zuzah. I have a whole right where my belly button is for easy access. Well, that's where everyone should have a whole regular belly button. It's kind of weird doing this so I can see you guys. I know. I'm used to being able to like pick in your lint, like pick my nose, dress my nuts, squeeze a random white hair out of your bowl. I know. You just can't do that today. And you're on it. I'm staring at you as a lucky charm shirt. So anyway, was there any noteworthy bravo gossip this week? Yeah. Do we have any like, oh, Andy Cozell, we got to talk about Andy Cozell. Okay. So my good friend Andy who used to be on TV gas, I mean, he would host with me, called me up and said, Oh my God, you're never going to believe this. There was this crazy fight between Tom. But if you hear snapping during my story, Ben and Ronnie literally wolfing down to the chocolate. Like, like all they've been brought up on is Hershey's garbage chocolate. Yeah. We've never had this kind of chocolate. Yeah. The cracking is not the sound of the earth opening up at the mere mention of underbump rules. It is actually just us breaking out pieces of chocolate. Just pieces of Theo chocolates. But anyways, so he calls me up and he's like, I live in Jackson's building, which is like crazy because it's really cheap. And I hate to say this about Andy, I love him, but his building's cheap. So, that's why Jackson Jackson's building looks so cute and how cheap can it be when you live right across the street from Zincao, check, I think it's like, like 1600s for a one. Oh my God. That's a lot. That's a lot. It is. That's a lot. Oh my God. That's a lot. Meanwhile, okay. We're sitting here in Katie's like mansion. Okay. By the way, we were walking. Okay. Just, just a purpose of this. We just watched Beverly Hills and Vanderpump rules right before this. And every time they went to like Katie, I mean, Kristen's apartment, whatever Katie's like, Oh, look at that. I can't share. Oh, he's shopping at H&M. I'm like, okay. I was like, step quietly out of the room. Well, no, because here's the thing they're talking about, um, Stasi's style tips. Like, if you want to be like Stasi for the holidays, no, I don't want to be the meanest double footer bitch. You know, if I want to be a Nazi, if I want to be a Nazi, if I want to be a non-sycipathise, I'm not saying that. That's her name. She'd be Nazi. If you want to be Satan on Jesus's word, yeah, if you want to, like, if you think cancer is funny, then you're going to love Stasi's style too. You want to dress like, soloed part of like the Pnompeh, like we're losing your hair anyway. I know. We're just just forcing you to take the shade jumper there. She's the meanest person ever, regardless. Jack's lives in, okay. So Jack's lives in Andy's building. Andy's building. You may not be rich, but at least I can call you Daddy War, but it's now that cancer looks great on you. Oh my God. That's Stasi's sense of humor. So they, so he calls me up and says, you're never going to believe this. Tom and Kristin were out front of my building last night until three o'clock in the morning, absolutely screaming at the top of their lungs at each other. And this is just a week ago, right? Just a week ago. That is that couple from SNL that Amy Poehler and what this buns played, where they're just always fighting. Oh yeah. They're like, show up at people's house. Oh yeah. The big person. Yeah, yeah, it was something like that. And then someone, when people, like, say something like, "There's, that is so rude to grab each other or whatever." Oh yeah, yeah. When someone else did, like, I would never talk to you that and then also they'd up smack at each other in the face. Yeah. And then they're like, "Fuckin' in the kitchen." Yeah, I consider myself lucky because at this point I don't actually know any fighting couples anymore. But, um... I thought you were friends with me in Walter. Oh yeah, I thought so. I thought so. Is that how you fight? If I just saw you get in a Walter fight and he'd just basically lean back and like, stay quiet. I was like, "Yeah, he's the keeper. That's the one to marry." I'm like, "I've seen your show, Katie. You guys are really smart." No, we really don't fight. And this is another thing that I need to talk about. The difference between watching reality TV at my friends' houses, as opposed to me, I am such a reality junkie that I need to watch it high, deaf, full-screen 1080p giant. Right. When I watch it at my friends' house, I think reality people look decent when you watch it on a good screen. Oh yeah. That was the first thing I said. Yeah. Katie, by the way, has pretty much like an IMAX screening or in her living room. So just imagine the sight of like, jacks or a horse face one and two, like 60 feet tall. Oh. Or a face one looked like... 48 years old. She looked like someone poured down a new street and then a bunch of little kids' bikes rode on it before it had time to drop. Oh my god, you're right. Bike tracks. Yeah. Bike tracks. That girl was tracked up. Trapped up. She's like, "Gram and Shady's theater." Someone put some hand prints in that one. There's... White. Yeah. So my definition is not really anyone's friend. So I can't think of any gossip offhand about what happened in the world of Bravo, but I can say this. This actually ties into the world larger than Bravo, which is that over the weekend, Paul Walker died, as you guys remember, which is real bummer, you know, everyone likes Paul Walker. Yeah, because he was like nice and charitable. Yeah, like hot. Not quite. Yeah. But I wanted to hear anything terrible about him. Never. Never. But Paul Walker is still hot. Oh, thanks, people. I know. I know. I know. So the reason why I bring this up is because of all the networks that decided to have a fast and furious marathon that had already pre-scheduled one, Bravo had a fast and furious marathon, which just goes to show that Andy Cohen ruins everything. The day he died, Bravo had a fast and furious play in the day he died. They didn't pull it off. I don't respect. There's no such thing as respect when it comes to Bravo. Andy Cohen's like, yeah, my, he's like, my jackload of the week goes to the phone hold. I killed Paul Walker when we were having a fast and furious, he's like, muzzled to the fireman. When you hear the code word, car crash, I have a drink right here. Yeah. You hear Volvo 74, a special drain. Let's call this one high octane, Ford by our special bartender, Mr. Goodrich. He would do something like that. He would. So that's pretty much my only gossip that's outside of, I can think of. Well, I watched what happens live last night after Real Housewives, and it was Blair from the facts of life. Okay. What's your name? And survivor. And Kim Richards. Oh, it's just like childhood stories. It's like, you know, Kim Richards is talking. I was off facts of life one time. Remember that? I played that girl. We tried to kid the job, but then it turned out there weren't gay people back there. What a way. Y'all have a sad card. I'm, I'm, I'm so assuiting. I cried and Mrs. Gower was next to me and they're taking pictures. I was like, I was here first. I was in that account before Mrs. Gower was my icon. Oh, my. My favorite game to play on that set was the one who smelted Delta when Mrs. Gower had. She lost every time. You know, when I was like, I'm like, I'm like, you're taking the girl, you're taking the bad. You're taking them both. And there you have Kim's link. Paper. King. King. Can I judge me? I was supposed to be George Clooney's girlfriend on that show. We Kim Richards was on the facts of life. No, just in her head. But if you look at, if you look at, I just put Kim Richards in everything. Yeah. I'm like, I remember when I was a pretty woman, you know, Richards here, he's too old for me. But then it turned out he was rich. He's an idiot now. That's how I remember Richard Geert. He's rich. Okay. You know, Kim Richards was, you know, like quite a bit of things. I was just going to say, if you IMDB her ass, she's in like, different strokes. She had like a three episode arc and she was on chips. Well, wait, my, my, one of my favorite things is that it doesn't like chips. If you do, if you do a Google search for the new, which mountain with the rock from what a few years ago, you do a thing that's called return to which mountain. Yeah. If you do Google for it, you know how Google always had like these things on the side, like further information. So they have like a list of like people who are in return to which mountain or like related searches. So they show pictures of like the rock and whoever, some kid actor, someone, and then they show a picture of Kim Richards from like, which like 1931, where he's like black and white, like it's like a little rascals picture or like this, it is the funnest. That's like right next to the rock. It's like next to the rock is the funnest juxtaposition of all time, Mickey Mouse before he got even talk. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I never do that. For some reason this episode this week, every time she laughs, it's so awkward. It's like her and Kyle Bo, it's like patty Osama from the Simpsons. You're not smoking gas. Jesus. You have to sleep apnea while you're awake, awake apnea. You just have apnea, just apnea at all times. You just have walking apnea. Forever apnea. That was actually forever your girl was based on that. It was originally called Forever Your Apnea. She sounds like windshield wipers that need to be put on. Sorry to do it. We're like me, me, me, me. I just need some more bro lights for me. Poor Kingsley's gonna be traumatized. Every time he goes to the car wash, he thinks he's gonna be Kim Richards. Ronnie is like turning red. He's like, Ronnie is now caught a case of the Richards apnea. He's like, you cannot breathe right now. He's turning red. He's walking apnea. I'm an ex-mulquer and I had a quote last week. Hey guys. Guys, I think this is-- Can you just take a sip? Since we are now like, totally like me and-- How do we try? No, I'm saying why don't we just go right into like-- Real housewives. This is in from the Alexia Ekabera news report. Oh well, you know, Peter, we're gonna move on to Bravo now. We're going to move on to Beverly Hills because Peter-- That's what Peter likes, you know. I hate her. So we're gonna start with Beverly Hills. Real house is Beverly Hills. What did you guys think of this week's episode? Boing. Portia, Portia said it best when she was sitting, eating with her hands and feet on the counter. On the counter. Did you have fun with mommy? Boing. [LAUGHTER] America said the same thing. She was more articulate than any of the women this week. So basically, this is one of those episodes where they kind of scrapped together random scenes and tried to sort of put it under the guise of, this is like what mothering is about and graduation. I think the two main story lines were that Kimberly was graduating, not Kim, Kimberly, Kim's daughter. But she named after herself because that's not weird. Yeah. And then guys can do that, right? Yeah. Yeah. And most of them are named Dick. Well, there's a bunch of rich are to name themselves. Like, they name all their children Richard. And it's like, right, a pack of dicks. [LAUGHTER] Why is it always that name? Did you guys invite that bag of dicks? So the good part about this Kimberly's graduation was that it gave us an opportunity to see Kathy Hilton. Kathy Hilton came on by. Oh, Kathy Hilton, what a-- What a-- you were going to say, cut in because of this. She came knocking on the door. She was like, I hear there's a camera rolling somewhere in this neighborhood. But she's like, why is everyone wearing such shitty, cheap clothes? Oh, because they're not you, bitch. Yeah, and also you're wearing a leopard print moo moo. Who the fuck are you judging? You look like you ate Tyne Daily as a s'mat. You're wearing your costume from hairspray. Like, what do you shut up? Get out of here. Get out of here. Get out of here. Well, so basically, nothing happened. That was turning line. No, nothing except showing how Kathy Hilton, how her sisters came in Kyle, can't stand her. Because they're like, well, that's our sister. And she always-- I love how Kyle calls out Kathy for being so rude to everybody. Look who's fucking talking about. And the second Kyle walks into anyone's house, she's like, oh, nice house. Whoa. Yeah, what happened? It looks like hardwood floor and leopard liquidators. The other exciting things that happened in Kyle's world is that she made a big announcement being like, I don't want to bring the negativity into my home. Cut to her going up to Marisa would be like, can you believe what all the girls have been saying about you? And then as he-- mid-cope smell, he goes-- Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. Take a sip of water, dude. Your calm house is getting-- He's way too defensive. Look, I don't know what these ladies are talking about, the way that they're talking about me. That's really not fair. It's like my character, you know. OK, I'm going to give you a kiss, sweetie. Oh, the butt lip gloss ever. The best lipstick thing ever. I love the gloss. Don't worry, especially yours. Yeah, it's like, he's a stripper fucking thing-- So here's where I really take issue with Kyle Richards. So she and Marisa get into a big-- they get really pissed off because Lisa only tweeted out that Marisa that she never believed that Marisa would cheat on Kyle two months after the allegations came out. So they're mad, like, two months too late. But as we were saying as we were watching, whatever happened to the idea that maybe Lisa just wanted to stay out of it, which is exactly Kyle's line for the past two seasons. Like, whenever Kyle didn't defend Lisa, when Lisa was being attacked by Adrian, Kyle said, I just-- I didn't want to be in the middle. I didn't want to be in the middle. I was getting trouble in the middle. So how about think for a second that maybe that's what Lisa was doing. And the only reason Lisa tweeted two months later, they said it was almost like a bad thing. Like, oh, as soon as Lisa gets dragged into it, then she tweets out. Well, yeah, of course she's defending herself. She's defending herself because you are such-- I think Kyle-- and I'm going to say this on record-- is the biggest hypocrite of all. She can dish it out to every single person, but she can't take it. And these brandy, as flighty as she is, can dish it out. But once someone gives it back to her, she just takes it. She does. Because she knows-- Well, time, the last week she started slipping with her. I don't like being called a bullying from my kids 20 times. But the thing with that that killed me was that Kyle is like, I don't like that she didn't defend me on red carpets or on Twitter. First of all-- And carpets. I mean, what the fuck red carpets does Lisa go to? Like, the Dancing with the Stars things, I guess, where there's literally like those golfing greens, except they're red. And they walk down those every night, like what she's supposed to say, like, you know, I'm enjoying Dancing with the Stars. No, I don't believe Kyle's sleeping. You know, her husband's banging trammies in an alley. Like, how do you bring that up like an carpet? You don't. And why would she even have-- like, she doesn't have other things going on in her life. She owns multiple restaurants. She's opening up a new bar-- I mean, that's a lot. Yeah. [LAUGHS] Is that bass and blood? She is. I mean, like, her daughter runs the Divine Addiction. I mean, her hands are full. Her hands are way full. And the other thing was Kyle was saying, well, you know, then all the stories came out about how they weren't supporting me, and then they were responding to them. Well, who's putting out those stories, bitch? Yes. You were. I wonder who is because it's personal information. So the only people that would know that is Kyle. Yeah. And I know those everyone at all of those magazines, all of the TMZ's and the-- Yeah, she's the Jill Theron and the Adrienne Malus. She is. And then she's shocked. Would be like, I would never sell stories. The fact that you know you can even make money by selling a story says you sold the story. Yeah, absolutely. Don't be a crazy bitch. I didn't know you could sell stories. I have a wealth of stories. But I have also a fucking conscience. So you know what? I'm going to make my money off of someone's history. She's going to give them to us for free on this money. Yes, exactly. All right. Well, you know, the thing that's so offensive on those shows amongst the women is not the selling of the story. I mean, it's not the giving of the stories. It's the selling. You never hear anybody say, I never spoke to Ray there online. You heard them say, I never sold the story to Ray. Yeah. It's like-- I may have told my friend who then sold the story. No one ever just says, I never said that. That's crazy. Well, it's like they blew sperm all over radar online's blue dress. It's like they did not have sex with that woman. And on top of that, though, the fact that they care so much about-- you didn't tweet in my defense. And it's so ridiculous. I mean, it's just like, shut up. Yeah. What would they have to talk about? What would their fights do now? Here's the thing. The truth is this. We talk about Mauricio because we have a podcast. We talk about the gossip and the rumor. It pretends the podcast. Or because we're at lunch, or like a church. But the truth is this. In total honesty, if we were not doing this podcast, would any of us really give a shit if Mauricio-- No, we could be watching this bullshit. No, actually, I would not be watching Vanderpump rolls. I'm not going to lie. Or shots of sunset. I would watch shots. I would watch shots. Oh, I would-- No, I'd watch Vanderpump now because it makes me feel so great about me. But the thing is-- I feel like I've done so much in my life. But the only good thing about shots is that it's helping this country be more OK with bombing our ram. [LAUGHTER] You're like, women and children died. You're like, me and-- Exactly. Have you seen what they turned into? Toronto Bravo. Have you seen Diamondwater? I don't know. They did nothing about that this week. Diamondwater? Yeah. Well, how much could they do? Well, because it's got to work on a new fucking lid or whatever. $500,000. I mean, come on. It's water. It's not like just coming up with some creative formula. And it's water that some fat, stinky, hairy chick breathed all over with burning sage. I know, it's like, I know. It's so not sanitary, get out of here. I'll take a shot at it. It's better than Blackwater. I'd drink Diamondwater before I drink Blackwater. At least there's fluoride in the fossil. Blackwater's Black. But what does it make-- It's Jersey. That's what makes us laugh. What makes it Black? It was made in New Jersey. It's like, oh, god, it's got us. It's got minerals in something. We looked it up. It was like some kind of sulfite something, rather. It's like the health oncares, as you know. Oh, right. That's the-- oh, god. This is another Kim Kardashian thing, where it's like, you take someone's absolute, horrible thing that's happening to them, and you turn it into a way to sell your shit. I'm going to go this, ugh. And I'm going to say, just be OK. That's not black. That's bulk. It's bulk white. And also, by the way, Blackwater, I say this every time. But wait and align your brand with one of the most infamous security, evil security firms of all time, Blackwater. Which is like, you see like, attack people in Iraq, all that stuff. They wouldn't know that. Look at us being up on semi-current, fairs. Well, yeah, because we watched 24-- Yeah, exactly. And like, the Blackwater channel was like, had the Blackwater. Oh, yeah, that's how we know about it. Yeah, too. This is-- I looked at that, but I was like, this is real? Oh, god. Thanks, Kiefers. I love it. Yeah. This is-- everyone, all the listeners at home, you're welcome. By the way, it's for my friend. You're not only a disgusting yogurt drink, but you're also very informed with a packet keeper. My friend, Neil, by the way, listens to this. And he's like a professor at Princeton. And he's very smart and up on all these things. And every time we talk like this, we're like, yeah, Blackwater, that firm from whenever, and then it drives me nuts. In a good way. Well, listen, I watch the CNN daily. So I do know current events, but I'm not going to lie. I think that it's been pretty bad that now it's turned all entertainment. Every single news has been-- Justin Bieber gets in full sleep chat, too. I'm CNN. Oh, yeah. I'm CNN. Like, I'm not watching Access Hollywood Live. I'm watching the CNN-- Let me tell you a little. I saw it like the youth market. What 13-year-old is fucking watching CNN worrying about what's happening in Iraq? I saw a commercial for Richard Blaze's new cooking show. That's going to be "I had a line news." I was like, what? How is this on HLN? This makes no sense. Wait, HLN. I had a line news. That's supposed to be like 30 minutes of news cycle, and now it's just stupid stuff. Look at that. Where is the LaRivis would call it? Helen. [LAUGHTER] Helen. Helen. Oh, my God. Have you seen that cooking show in Helen? Helen. You guys call it. Oh, my brother. I would rather brag and say, yeah. I had a show on TV guy network than say, I have a cooking show on Helen. [LAUGHTER] I feel like I've got a one-up on him. What's he, Richard Blaze? Richard Blaze from Top Chef. Oh, that was actually an unintentional bravo tie-in. I was on Hallmark Home and Family with him, actually. Oh, really? What is that show? I always see you posting photos of that. Oh, I'm a beauty expert on Hallmark Home and Family. It's an Emmy-nominated daily talk show with Mark Steines, who used to be, I think-- I used to have a crush on him when I was younger. He's really good-looking, and his body is crazy-read. Oh, yeah. He does that P90 in Sanity. Oh, my goodness. Oh, my God. I need some chocolate. I know, me too. That just made me want-- Don't give me a start-up, you got a new phone. Shaun T. Don't give a start, Shaun T. You guys, Katie has chocolate that's made with bread in there. Has brioche pieces in there. Oh, my God. It goes great with red wine. It's like a full meal, basically like a Bloody Mary. You can learn all about it on Richard Blaze's Headline News cooking show. Well, he cooked Richard Blaze again, I forget. He had the full hawk, he won all season. Oh, yeah, you know, like, on his-- No. I think it's his voice, because he's monotone. He's like a mouse. I like a mouse. Egotistical. But he's very monotone, and I think it's hard to be around a person who every single sentence in the way they talk is exactly like this, and there's no expressions. And that's the way it is. You're like, are they done with the sentence? Yeah. Do they have any-- like, there's no, like, oh, my God, and the best day of my life, like-- I hate so long reality shows who, like, deserves to win. They're like, I'm here because I deserve it. Oh, my God. That's like every episode of "Chops." So anyway, so anyway, back to Beverly Hills. I don't think that's the kind of stuff you wanted to be. Yeah. Back to Beverly Hills. So we agree, Kyle is the worst. OK, so now elsewhere in the world of Beverly Hills, what else happened? David Foster-- All right, so David Foster got a star on "The Walk of Fame," and the way Yolanda talked it, she made it sound like it was her star. Oh, my God, did you hear what she said when she was like, you know, behind every guy is the wife. It looks like he was with Linda Foster for, like, 20 years. So you have nothing to do with why I will always love you is a hit song, sorry. Yeah, exactly. Congratulations on inspiring that single that came out last year. And that Linda Foster-- She's a very nice-- --some party. And I was like, hey, listen, I have to talk to you and tell you. I saw you on that show, and I was not-- I still say to my friends whenever we fight, you guys, look at the ocean. It was here before us. I mean, we'll be here long after, and I started cracking up. You know, I'm obviously making fun of her. I like it in a light-hearted way. And she was like, well, it's true. And you know those women embarrassed womanhood. They were embarrassed. She's right about that. She's right about that. I won't go on that show anymore. I mean, how embarrassing can you be? And she was friends with Taylor. Like, her and Taylor are actually more friends. So the fact that Linda won't appear good, she is better than that. Good for her. And she's a songwriter. She's successful. She's stood by David Foster for so long. And I know that she's actually very nice. My friend is actually like besties with her, and says that she's-- you know what? Like, a really stand-up woman and a good lady. And she's not a gold digger weirdo. So Linda Thompson-- her name's Thompson, right? Yes. Oh, yes. Oh, no. We salute you for-- We salute you, Linda Thompson. Yeah, Linda Thompson. You stand up for her. You know, let's give a cheers to Linda Thompson. A cheers to Linda Thompson. Cheers to you, Linda Thompson. I almost said Linda Thompson, but it's the Thompson. So David Foster got a star. How did you feel about that, Katie? Well, I mean, here's the thing. Anyone can buy a star in the walk-of-the-way. Yeah, exactly. It's like $35,000. You go to the chamber, you have a couple of fans right in and sign a petition. And there you go. We're in. Yeah. The washer crap in stars is-- And by the way, where my salon is on the W-- I think I'm going to put high society over there in my T-bar. And literally, that's where Baby Thief's just got his star. And there's a couple different openings. So if you see a WWE CL-- Baby Thief's right by a place that you can get a facial. Oh, my goodness. Actually, you're right. Right? Oh, my gosh. Oh, he has a handsome man. So by the way, every time Katie throws a party, you show up, or there's someone like Baby Thief is there. This is so great that we're doing this podcast. You should even be on this podcast, Katie. You're just like, you hang out with people much closer. No, but my real friends are here. This is my joy and life. This is my love. And by the way, look at me. I literally had to unbutton my top button because I'm sitting with my leg sprouts. In fact, it was so stuffed in my book. You know what I'm saying? That's the post Thanksgiving show. We are-- I mean, that's why I've only had three pieces of chocolate. Yeah, exactly. And by three pieces, he means bars. So we also got to see some of Yolanda's family. That was fun too. I thought it was creepy the way she jumped on the bed with her brother and then smacked his butt. I kind of was dickish of her to be like, oh, you are too big for the bed. And then she's like, look at this picture of you so young. It's like, why are Germans-- why do Germans hug each other with conti remarks? Like, how-- Every German I know does that. Whatever. Why does everybody who talk like this want to act each other constantly? Like, almost like a lisp. And the best is when they start speaking in Dutch to each other about the mayonnaise. That perforked me out. And the fact that we had to listen to it twice, I was like, oh, I can't. Well, I like listening to people speak other languages. He's like, those mayonnaise up. I was like, this is fun. And it's ever to be over there too lazy to chop a damn vegetable. That sandwich was bread with ham and mayonnaise. They're like, a side of lemons that someone posted on our face. But they're like, what is this one with their fucking lemons? It's like, a whole lemon cut in half. I know, we're getting fucking lemon tree. I do too. Do you see me-- what if I was like, hey, you guys, fuck the line in the chocolate. I bring in an entire thing of Japanese figs and some lemons cut up, because I have that-- Well, I wouldn't like the figs. I'll tell you that much. We don't-- by the way, speaking of chopping things-- It's a missmung like pee. What about speaking of chopping? What about Porsche chopping up a cucumber? Don't let their little tiny child with a big knife and dirty little fingers and fingernails chop up celery. Or furthermore, let the kids sit on-- by the way, every child, all of Kyle's kids were sitting on the counters. When they prepare food. I know. They're all going to get ass salmonella. I don't know who's going to get it, but you can order the kids. I think Kyle and Marie too leave the kids every night and go out to dinner. And they don't care if it's sanitary. I mean, kids eat bookers. But here's the thing. I'm just going to say this at one point, because I am such a huge fan of Taco Bell. I think it's really unfair that Taco Bell used to put green onions on their nacho's creams and their nacho's ball grande, which was like my-- I lived for. That's fancy. Yeah, and their pinnies and cheese with sour cream. They had chopped green onion. It was like a staple. All of a sudden, somebody gets like salmonella or like more like-- Yeah, and chilies. --distant terry. But no, it's because there was a guy, a migrant worker was in the field picking the green onion, took a dump, wiped his hand with his-- wiped his butt with his hand, continued without wiping his hands off. The green onions never got washed, got chopped up, and went on to-- Is that true? That's actually true. But how do they know that the migrant worker did that? They traced it back. Oh, my god. And that migrant worker was Portia. Was one of the girls. Was one of the girls. Because when the cameras go on, the kids go in the fields. But that's why. So thanks a lot, fucking-- My bad worker. Yes, thanks a lot. I mean, on the other hand, thank you for bringing us to Taco Bell. Right, and thank you for fresh strawberries, because that is not an easy job. That's why I'm all for immigrant workers. This will all be discussed. This will all be at Richard Blaze's Helen show, which shows you worry. Let them stay and let them have the driver's license. I don't care. As long as they're-- What do you know? Oh, well, you know Peter. He loves to go on the fields. And he loves to pick the green onion. And he doesn't like the weapon. He doesn't ask, because that's just the way he expresses himself. Hold the phone. What would you say, hold the phone? Like, when's the last time you actually heard somebody say, oh, my God, hold the phone. She puts her hand up. I'm like, what phone are you going to hold the phone? Press the hold. Press the hold. Please, put it on, boss. I'll get Peter's. Peter's. Peter's. So anyway, what else happened is, oh, so Brandy, Brandy did not have a lot going on. Brandy, you know, I love that it is taking so long-- She went to an everybody to realize that Brandy has nothing behind her eyes. All Brandy has is a skinny body and a seawardy attitude. We should just name this podcast, the seaward. I think, you know what, though? She has it is content and cancer. No, she does have something behind her eyes. And you know who would know it? Carlton, because Carlton can look into her cat's eyes. Her black cat named Midnight, very on the nose. She could look into Midnight's eyes and see the pain being released through the acupuncture. Oh, my God. She got her cat. And she goes, I don't think this is LA. It's not like I gave him a facial. Oh, OK. So, I'm sorry, the acupuncture on your cat makes it more normal than giving your cat a fucking facial. Yeah, my cat might be in pain. Let's stick needles into its head. Did you? I mean, what the fuck? It didn't like it. Like Hellraiser. It didn't like it. Who does? Who does? I know. Sticking needles into the cat's head. This is what happens when you accidentally get crazy and do some black magic, you know? Well, you know what? If you swore, you would never do it again. But not the evil guys. What is-- why does every storyline that Carlton's evolved in have to do with Pussy? Every single one. And she did make out with-- well, that was what was so stupid. That the episode ended with this thing like granny being like, I'm in it with Carlton last night. It's like, who cares? Because then Carlton's like, why do you have to tell every single else of your life cut to two seconds later? And they're making out in a hot tub. That's like someone saying, I could-- I mean, he made out with a check. He looks like Chuck Wollering. Like, wow. You guys want a hot balloon, a hot air balloon, right? A little Oregon. It's like, I don't want that. What about Maui? Seriously. So basically nothing happened on the episode. I think we covered-- well, Joyce got a facial at Kyle's crazy facial plays, where they put a tajina on your face. Oh, yeah, the tajines. And it said stick electricity through your hands. I think it looked like that little thing that Kenny wore on South Park, like his little hood. Oh my god, it was like daddy. Except every week you said that they didn't kill Kyle. Oh my god. The bastard! She's still fucking here. Oh my god. It's tajines. Tajina was a-- it was a tajina in the face. We're walking face mask. So Beverly Hills-- I think that's it. She was offensively boring, but next week-- I still cannot wait to see everybody turning against Lisa because that's coming soon. That is coming. Here's why, because I was watching an episode of Watch What Happens Live just recently. And Brandy, when they said, oh, so what's going on with have you talked to Lisa? And she was like, ugh, that's what she said. That was her answer. She said we're not talking, right? Yeah, but she also went, ugh. Remember? Yeah, no, there's a big-- there's a lot of gossip or rumors that-- I don't know why. No one's going to Twitter to debunk them. But there are a lot of rumors about that Lisa and Brandy got into a huge fight because Brandy tried to call out Lisa and Lisa was like, I won't have that, darling. Call it out for what? I don't know. We'll see. She's calling her the puppet master in the previous. But also, Brandy said in some interview that she's mad because Lisa is trying to make Sheena a star and get her her own spin on the stuff. She's like, that girl but my husband, I can give her a pass. But the fact that Lisa's trying to get her a spin off. I mean, come on, I'm offended. I want the apology. Wait, why would Sheena get a spin off? I know. Like, what are you going to do? What is going on in her life? You know, it'll be like wipe out. Like, every single episode will be Sheena on and off. So, of course, getting her. That's what I think it is. She'll just be like, what is it like to take the bus home every day? I don't know. Sheena, I mean, as much as I have to say, I've been in an event with her, she's always been very nice to me. So I can't. And sometimes she'll Twitter me, like, she private messaged me on my birthday. I was like, happy birthday. Wish Mikey and I could come to your party. But he's flying right now because he got to fight with a girl. And we have a flat tire in Azusa right now. I mean, it's going to be a motorcycle rally in Azusa. So we have to go to that. I'm sorry. I'm seeing if I have to pick Azaya. They're giving out free hummingbird tattoos in Azusa. So we have to go to my house. You guys, if you had a choice out of all the leanies on Vanderpump Rules, and I'd say leanies with a stretch, because I mean, little bitchy fucking contigros, who, what team would you be on? Because I-- The blonde girl, the hostess, the older one, the partner. Not here in this life. No, she's like, she doesn't count. Yeah. The people are like, this one. I would do the new blonde girl, Ariana. Ariana. Yeah, blonde girl. Which one's Ariana now? The women are being slept with, Tom. You know, don't you hear about her weird chemistry? Did you hear about her weird chemistry? I don't know. Where does all look the same when you're doing it? No, I'm just kidding. So basically, I'm-- I'm going to say this right now. I'm James Sheena. Last year, I was like, yeah. She's definitely the best. She's like the best of that career. She wants to be friends with them. And she wants to do stuff now. Like, everyone's like being so fucking caddy in me. They're bullying her. They really are. But that being said, Sheena does open the door for it. Sheena, you have to watch yourself on TV and learn from it, because you're being ridiculous this season. Last season, I was like, bye. Last season, I was like-- This season, the pin gone to your head a little bit, and you're being just ridiculous. Oh, I'm not going to do that, but I just-- I spent today curling my hair and doing my makeup. Well, first of all, that's sad that you spent your whole day. I'm worse. It's just five minutes to get ready. I'm not kidding. I can do my full makeup. I get to do it right now. And it's less than five minutes to be done. Me too. Little mascara, little blush, little lip gloss, little bronzer, out the fucking door. What more do you need to do? That was a good Sheena moment, too. I mean, not Sheena. It's Dassy Mo when she's like-- She uses a fire hydrant to put on her makeup every day. You want firefuls? A fire hose. And suddenly, she's going to pull back. She's going to go for a natural look. You know, it's Dassy was right. You know, that's the thing with this cast. I guess we're going to go on to the Band of Pump Rules right now. Oh, you know, because the band of pump rules were in me. Yeah, we'll go with Band of Pump Rules, which is that it's always like a lazy Susan of Who's the Worst. Because once you think you've found this person the worst, the lazy Susan rotates, and someone else is the worst, and the person he thought was the worst, says something that's kind of true. So then you're like, oh, fuck. No, Saus is not the worst. Kristen's the worst. And then that moves, and then it's like, oh, wait, no. She knows the worst, because Kristen just made fun of her. And that was funny. And then it moves, and all the way. She knows actually, OK, we're back to Stasi. So who do you think was the worst this episode? Stasi. Oh, Stasi. For sure. Stasi. This is like classic Stasi. OK, well, so Jax is kind of the worst, too. All right, so let's summarize what happens. Because he doesn't know he has cancer yet. He's telling him what works. Jax found a lump under his nipple. OK, look. It gets wet. It's called a nipple. OK. There's a lump with a little brown spot, with a little thing sticking out. That's a nipple, not a lump. You don't even get a biopsy in your nipple. He's like, I'm not too mad. He's like, I'm going to start deciding sweaters for nipples now. Oh, my nipples. Nipples have a little sweater on it. A little cozy. He's kind of the worst, because he shaves his chest, and probably has an ingrown hair. Like, that's probably what it is. What if it is an ingrown hair? It's probably like an askew, like, HPV sassy, something like dropped out of his face. It's, yeah, it's chest papaloma. It's CPV, chest papaloma virus. I'm just calling it out there. Yeah. I can say this, because I don't even know how this happened. Luckily, skates through life, because I thought I was going to be a statistic. I am HPV-free. I know. Can you believe that? I'm nervous. Most of them, a lot of women are like-- They're not. So I feel like I can make fun of it, because so many people have it. I thought, of course, I'm college. Of course, I'm a habit. But believe it or not, I don't. Jax, no fucking way. He's got it all. He's a sponge. That guy, yeah. That guy has everything. I won't even go near him, because I feel like I made it this far in my life without that. He's that guy who will never get a cold, because he's had every strain of everything already. You know what he is? You know what Jax has? You know what Jax has under his nipple? He has what you see on the news, like the urban legend. He has a spider egg. And someone's going to pause. Little baby spiders are going to come out of his nipple. That's what it is. I think he's probably got a worm. Dassy's evil child, you know, press on. He's got an alien, actually. Stossy has impregnated him with her alien child. It's like alien. He's going to pop out-- instead of out of his stomach, he's going to pop out of his nipple. And then attach himself onto someone's face. You know what I feel like we could craft a really good movie out of these reality shows. I'm just saying-- Jax, his name is already very sci-fi-ish. So I think we should just name the character Jax. There's no need to make it up. I wish it was spelled like it sounds. J-A-C-K apostrophe. Yeah. That's the only thing he was about. His name is spelled out in an airport code. Jax. Otherwise, it would be J-apostrophe-A-X. Let's go to Jax House. Jax. It means like you should have harmonics changed. OK, that's-- you know what? I apologize. That came off as a stereotype. But you know what? As a person who travels a lot whenever when I meet people and I want to know their name, it's always like a something apostrophe. You know, like, why is that necessary? Like, Jotem. So when I meet people that are like, Jashaun, or-- Because they want a reason to complain when they go into a tourist shop and can't find their name on a magnet. I'm like, this is missing an apostrophe. Damn it. So victimizing me. Good, it's neat. So let's back up here a little bit for anyone who shockingly did not watch this Russian show. Why are you even listening to that? So here's what happened, OK? So one of you was reading a book. So Stasi-- anyone who was, like, enriching their lives. Stasi and Kristin, horse phase number one, they were like going through clothing because Kristin number one, she needs to get a passport photo done because she's-- Oh my god, have you ever seen someone go that, like, planning her jewelry? Do you know what a passport photo looks like? Do you know what you look like in a passport photo? Yeah. It's like, it's like, whatever. Talk amongst yourselves. I look like the Lebanese-- I don't know if it's a pronto, am I? Katie's going to go get her passport. In the meantime, so this is what happens. So Kristin decides she needs to pass her photo, because I don't know where the hell she's going. Maybe she's going to, like, go into, like, Bakersfield. And then she needs to go through costumes or something like that. She's going to the international food court at the mall. And she's like, wait, I got to get my passport. She's going to France and she can be around other women who get cheated on all the time and have to pretend that this is not happening. I think she needs to be informed that the Paris casino is not actually in Paris. Oh my god, what did you do? I was like, well, I'm going to Las Vegas and we're staying at the Venetian, so I need to get my passport. I'm going to put this loss, which is totally Mexican. We're going all around the world. So we're going to the Venetian that we're going to Paris. And we're going to New York, New York. I just took this photo from my Global Entry card, which PSA-- What's a Global Entry card? Oh my god, Kitty's going anywhere. Yeah, that's my TSA pre-card, so I can go anywhere. I don't have to take my shoes off, don't have to take my laptop out. Kind of amazing. OK, this is my passport photo. Do you think I planned this? No. This is what happened. I went to England. Oh my god, Kitty. Yeah. You look totally different. See what I'm saying? Wait, this is crazy. Crazy. But I did plan my driver's license phone out. So anyway, but the point is this. So in the middle of all this, Jack's calls up, and he's like, guess what? I found a lump. I think I might have cancer. I'm going to the hospital. Since Stacey gets off the phone, she immediately doctors Stacey with her medical degree. I know. And her journalism expertise with a daily addiction. It's like my pop-up with this fucking Web MV. He knows everything wrong with everybody. They say that she's just to look at that. Yeah, so-- oh, this is very nice. I made him take his wife. I like this, the DMV photo. So anyway, so Stacey, Stacey turns to Kristen and goes, do men get breast cancer? Kristen, you know, horse-based doesn't even know what's happening. She's-- she looks like she's 95. So these two brains go onto their iPhones, and they decide Jack's doesn't have cancer. Now, to be fair, Jack's probably does not have cancer. Jack's does not have cancer. But this is supposed to be their friend. Who pre-enounces cancer? I mean, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. That's actually who announces cancer like-- The Zolceac. Well, yeah, that's true, that's true. I guess she did start the trend. But the point is this, these are supposedly there. And instead, they just go back to trying on clothes. Can you believe that? And then Stacey makes a point of going, and then I got to push these puppies up as she's pushing her big fakies. And for having fake boobs, they're not good. Fake boobs should be vermin and pretty tight. Yeah, they should be staple to your red cage. Yeah, forever. Those things look like little Christmas hands. No, they look like two-- The very bottom part of pantyhose with sand in them. Nothing about that is cute. Ross and so, anyway, Jack's got back to the doctor, and Stacey-- Let's go running. So Jack's got back to the doctor, and then you beat someone without giving them bruises, rocks and socks. Rocks and socks. Or oranges, or orange and orange and orange. Songbook, and then you punch someone behind the phone book. Oh god, gorgeous hit them and say, "Adore did it." Or just make them stare, watch this show, and then they're-- Or you're just like-- They'll just stick that finger on him. Or you just do the whole typical-- It fell down the stairs and hit only my eye on a doorknob. Right, honey? Yeah. So anyway, so speaking of abusive situations, Stacey comes over to see Jack's, and she basically then breaks him. Well, I mean, it's hard not to berate Jack's, but admittedly-- Like it was scary. What if he did have a cancerous lump inside, which is a total possibility? And this is very scary, and it does run in his family. Yeah. What if it was? The fact that she turned it around on him makes her hands down the worst fucking person ever. Yeah, exactly. And then she starts harping on his stupid sweater line, which we agree really is the most ridiculous thing. It is truly-- it is more ridiculous than Sonny Morgan's toaster oven is Jackson's sweater line. It's like me having a cooking, like having, like, pots and pans line. Yeah. Like it's never going to happen. My own blender line. I'm going to come out with my own little hand weightness. I love smoothies, so I came out with my own blender. I don't come out with tractors. They've been made like a tractor series. But I came out with a new product called M&M's. But what I love is, so she's-- but to be fair, this is what I'm talking about again, the lazy season effect. Because while Stacey's being awful and berating Jack's, like, you're so awful, then she actually starts making really good points, which is like, why do you think you could be a sweater guy? Why do you use sweater design? And he's like, I'm going to be with a guy. We're going to be with a guy. She's like, where are your sketches? She's like, I'm going to be with a guy. His response to everything is, I'm going to be with a guy. He's like, it actually really works out. Because my cancer doctor is also a sweater designer. My cancer doctor looked really cold, and I thought he could use a sweater. She knows how he totally wants to make them also. So we're going to totally have this great, like, chemo for sweater bar system. But then she turned it into herself. What? What are you looking at? What are you looking at? Ronnie's looking at the grams. I'm looking at-- no, I've already posed with this. I'm looking at your butt called Finding My Boys. Oh, someone gave a twelter as a gift. So, wait, this is just such like a housewife thing. Like, I found my voice, and I'm staying in this neighborhood. Portia, she is the best boy. I found my boy. And if my husband wants me back, he can call me and listen to my voice. Yeah, Portia's is like a non-cyclist. She's like, I found my voice, and now I'm going out of the movies, and it's like, what, huh? It's like, I found my voice, and I can't stand on my own two feet. That's what it is. And that's why I'm sitting there. I'm stepping out of law, and I can stand on my own two feet. Mama, please come on me off. Yeah. Play my closet, bitch. Oh, for sure. So anyway, so Jack-- sorry. So, I'll say all the Jacks, but it's what it is. She turned it around, and instead of maybe-- OK, so she already berated him about his-- could be cancer. Then she turns harping down his sweater line. OK, I swear to the thing about the sweater line, and maybe if this is living in Los Angeles too much, but why can't he just come out with the sweater? Actually, he could, if he wanted to. Why could he be one of those? It's just hilarious, because he knows Jacks, and we know. Would he kind of coles it around knitting his whole life? No, he's like, I bought the sweater wherever he's wrong. No, he doesn't mean I bought the sweater. Yeah, I think he's from Long Island, but no. Then he's like, yo. Yo, that kid's the sweater. Yo, mom, help. I've done it to pay attention. Yay, help me. Did you watch Princesses on your original princesses? No, I refused. Oh, you broke that up, right? I don't know, but probably not. They're making princesses Beverly Hills, I think I heard it. I think so. You really missed out. It was a great-- No, I can't-- It did terrible things for my people. Watch it. Terrible things for my people. Exactly. Are you from New York? I'm from New York, but I'm Jew. Oh, but it made Jewish long Island people look like the worst people ever. It looked like the worst. Last of my son, my cousin's from Long Island, I was like, what's wrong with you now? I'm like, you're not like that, right? It's just awful. I'm 26. I need to get married so I can go down to Florida. What's the problem? I'm like, oh my god, we talked like that. Don't they have gems in Long Island? Yeah, you're pretty funny looking. That was like the big important-- It's funny looking? Oh, that's funny. Yeah, yeah. It's called summer funny. Oh, we're not much more. It's funny, funny, funny looking. Real mature, real mature. I can just say the helicopter they got me. She actually this girl is in Montauk, OK? She lives in Nassau County. She's upset the girls made her upset. She asks her dad to send a jet from Nassau to Montauk, OK? A jet? By the time a jet takes off, it's already like over Boston. Yeah, it's like this guy. The dad who calls her hot and grabs her. You know what Ash needed? She needs one of those new Amazon drones to pick her up and take her back. I've seen that. That's amazing. I love it. And everyone's like, oh, haven't you seen the Hunger Games? It's terrifying. I'm like, I don't know. What is that? No, those are some of the Amazon Prime drones. Oh, Amazon Prime drones. What is that? When you order something, it'd be at your house in 30 minutes. They want to do it in five years. It's a video. Way. This is crazy. It's so crazy. Yeah, this is like-- OK, this is like-- if you ever saw that movie, "Battery" is not included. Jessica Tambian loved that movie. So it's basically like those little aliens. They are released from the Amazon fulfillment center. They drop a little yellow box at your doorstep, and then they fly away. There's a video. It's not a hoax. Oh, my god. I hope they don't release those in Pakistan. Those people are traumatized. Oh, my god. I know that's what we're matching. Literally-- They're like, here, we're all going to die. Oh, wait. It's the phone book. Don't worry. Don't worry, Mary. Don't worry. I was just thinking Donaldson's book. Never mind. Oh, my god. This is like a couple of things. Pit-smelling bull songs. Oh, my god. Do you know how many things I would send to those ladies? I would just send them by a drone and be going to be like, etiquette books. Oh, yeah. You're your fat ceramic chef, Gretchen. I know. Oh, my god. It's a week. I just need to make this point about it's driving me crazy. Because literally, I thought it went from good to a little bit OK to moderate to just start getting bad, to terrible to the fucking nail in the coffin for me was when Stossie-- The painted nail in the coffin. Yeah, that's right. The manicure finger. The nice and dorces. Dorces. Yeah, nice and dorces. Yeah, the painted nail in the coffin basically was when Stossie goes, you're basically taking away from everything that I've worked for. And I had to look at you guys and be like, what the hell is she talking about? I'll tell you what she's worked for. She has worked for a three article catalog on the divine addiction, which, as we all know, is the pinnacle of the internet. Oh, see, now I know. Don't you know, it's Pandy's blog. Wait, have you gone on it? I have. It's terrible. Everything's written in like 24-- Oh, I went on there last week. And I couldn't find any of the girls. It was like some random blonde girl like-- I read Stossie's article with you. Thick, thick, thick mattes. If you want to wear a jolt town, make sure you wear a big one. Oh, god. If someone says "jolt town" one more time and a punch in my face, it's a red dress. Remember a jolt town. It's a sapphire scarf. It's not a jolt-- Remember last time you were on a diamond dome. Last time you were on the show, we were talking about how there was one episode that was like, summer is the perfect excuse to wear lashes. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, that's right. Something like that. You can fan your mate. Oh my god, I'm telling you right now, Stossie to make that whole thing about her again. But then she leaves going, if Jackson doesn't understand what type of person he is, it's like, look at yourself in the mirror. You fucking evil devil woman from hell. Yeah, she's really one of the worst people of all time. Yeah, she really is. One of the worst-- I agree. But meanwhile, in other awful people news, we had Kristen and Tom, so the big issue was that Lisa Vanderpump pulled aside this woman. Dany, is that her? Oh, she's dreadful. Some this like, there's just like a low, like a JV, a JV, like a surf server. The one who started up all the shit last week, and Lisa's like, duh, I want to-- When you're on the B team of Vanderpump rules, it's time to just move home. You know what, instead of Dany, it's like Randy. So she's a total random. That one screen time. Yeah, and so this girl was like, she's like, well, I just, you know, I saw a weird chemistry. And I felt like I had to tell people about it. I feel like that was set up. Well, obviously-- I really do. I feel like the producers went to her and said, listen, we'll give you five in a box. Just go to one of the girls while we film the scene. And let's make sure the audio is good. And just say, hey, you guys, do you guys notice like a really weird chemistry? It's so harmless and such bullshit, but now it's causing a whole-- Well, that's what they brought her there in the first place. They brought this beautiful girl that he's like friends with and fucked. Like Jackson said, he fucked her. He did? No, Jacks. No, Jacks said that-- His friend Tom's fucked, Ariana. Yeah. No, they're just like goofing off. That's all. Wait, Jacks said-- Last week, Jacks said that Tom told him that Tom had slept with Ariana. But also, Jacks also-- Oh, other Tom said that Tom. Right, I mean-- This show is due to CR-- And the shapes of space. Do you see our brains melting? Like, we just saw the arc in Indiana Jones right now. Because the people at home, can you hear the sound of our brains reducing to mush as we discussed? I know. I almost feel like I have to immediately go upstairs and look at one of my old books from college, just so I can remember what it was like to study and work for a goal to be smart to simulate your brain. You're like, wait, I have to actually figure out problems instead of, wait, which Tom is this? Is this the Tom that's with horse face or the Tom that's with other horse face? I know. I want to apologize to Neil, who's listening, who's going to go into his students tomorrow. And his lecture's going to be like this. Because it's like the ring. It's just going to, you know, you listen to this ring. You watch Vanderpump Rules. It's like, in five days, everyone's-- you're going to get a phone call. And it's like, guess what? Your brain is mush now. Yeah. And you're just going to-- you're going to be a zombie. You're going to be a vegetable. If a little girl with hair all over her face crawled out of a toilet and murdered everybody who watched Bravo, this world would be solved. There'd be, like, four people out. No, let me tell you something. If a little girl called out of a toilet at Sir, Lisa would be like, oh, well, she's a great bartender. Let's put her in the lounge. You know, we'll be left with my help. It's Sir, but I bet it'll be, you know, that's what Stasi is. No, that's Stasi. We want to know why Stasi is so evil. My housekeeper would show up to work. And she'd be like, Mrs. Welter, Mr. Welter, Mr. Welter, what happened? You know what happened? Well, watch what happens. She's the only person that doesn't watch Bravo. So she's probably the fucking smartest person on the planet. I'm fairly convinced that the entire staff of Vanderpump or Sir crawled out of a TV somewhere. And that's just what they're doing now. When we face go there one night, and then we can talk about it, like maybe like in one of the upcoming things. I know. Maybe we should go and just-- I think we should go like early enough and get a table and actually just record there. Yes. Could you imagine? We'll put a little stuff on. Well, but it'll be like-- it'll be secret. No, we'll have to wear the glasses that have the spy cam so we could actually do like video shots. Oh, the same words will come right over if you ask him to. We'll just be like, OK, we're doing a podcast. You want to come do an interview and they'll be like, yeah, it'll have to pay for us. Sometimes you have to write it off. It's on iTunes, because that's huge. Everyone has it. No, and you could literally say, we have four listeners and two viewers, and they'd be like, oh, my god, which I got to do my makeup. I might get famous. You have to do my makeup for the audio podcast. It's the damn I'm at my heart. 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So here's the only other significant thing that happened on this episode was that the stupid burlesque party, which is who cares about that. But Sheena showed up and-- You know what? I will say, though, you've got to respect strippers after seeing those pieces of gelatinous wood shaking around, talking about saucy and horse-faced number two. What the hell were those two doing? They made it look like stripping is an actual skill. No, it was ridiculous that they actually had to say to each other, oh my god, I'm so nervous. I feel like we didn't practice enough. There were three moves. Bend down, stand up. Bend down, turn around, fan, and blow a kiss. Yeah, let it go. Happy birthday with her vagina to the guy with a plate to pay right behind you. Oh, poor-- What's a Guillermo? Is that maybe Guillermo or Guillaume or something like that? No, it's Guillaume, right? Guillaume. You know, I've always liked the guy on the show. He seems nice and smart. Oh, man, he's got to get that too many sticks. It looks wrong. It was like-- You can see things to reflect and brace them. It was on upside down or inside out or something. I feel like we should have-- It doesn't pay him, because I remember when they were starting the restaurant on the show and she told him in that way, which, by the way, she only says that way. So gay people don't feel like they have a list, but everybody has a list. But I remember her telling him, like, listen, I've opened 25,000 restaurants. So I'm not going to be there for this one. You guys are going to be there 24 hours a day. And they're like, OK, miss, OK. And then they open in. Well, because he was just like a bartender. Like a bar, so-- He works with a whip. He's like Drake. Start from the bottom, now he's here. Yeah, Drake started to do so. He's probably been like a rich town in like a long way. He's like, yeah, Drake has started from Toronto. Now I'm here. I'm like Kyle and Kim, but we're talking about what we want. Listen, I like-- We didn't get to go to college. We didn't get to go. We didn't talk about that. You didn't apply, bitch. I'll do it again. I like Kyle. Kim is like, I went to a very untraditional high school. I didn't go to high school. I'm like, yeah, that is untraditional, because there was no high school. Yeah, it's not untraditional. It's not even like you were homeschooled. She didn't go. We are such queens. You're such queens. She said she went to an untraditional high school, and she didn't even go to work. No, sorry. I watched Fashion Queens. I watched him as it for you, Katie, actually. OK, and what did-- tell me what you thought. It's unbearable. I want to do it, I can't. I can't. I can't. He was like, these are YSLs, honey, honey. And this is the pink crunch on now, honey. This is real far. I know, you know what? Real far. And I'm like, do you know what died for that? You're disgusting. You know, you just made me feel you just got beaten up in high school. Like, do you know how many? Yeah, thanks a lot. We're all the things that gave you a work for it. Just like, come out and be proud of them. We're all over it. Yeah, way to just fucking jerk your disgusting load all over everybody. Thanks. You know what? Showering them with your thought. I do know what this makes me feel better, because for a moment-- because sometimes when I see gay people harping, like when I see our fellow gays being, like, really queeny and harping on every stupid little thing, and I'm always like, oh, don't overdo it. But here I am sitting here, being like, Kim Richards said she went to an untraditional high school. And then, well, you didn't go. But then I see, listen, you can have the lipstick on. You can have the Rob Mel Carter's estate sale show up to you. Do you have watches and YSLs? Listen, you can have that-- listen. Listen, express yourself-- oh, well, you know, that's how I feel to express yourself. What do you know when I say a piece of the light can? It's OK to express yourself, OK? Dress however you want. I don't choose to dress that way. It's fine. But there's a problem. There's some cyclopaedias. The problem, it went to high school here. The first edition, like, full on real first print ones from, like, 18, whatever. Holy gee. The point is this. These people, Lawrence and Mr. J, or whatever, Ms. J, or Derek J, they're just stupid. That's the problem. They have no knowledge of what they're talking about. Exactly. That's the problem. I don't care what they're wearing. I mean, I think they look ridiculous. I think that if they didn't-- I think that they just, like, get by on live. I feel like a lot of gay guys are, like, probably don't even like penises. What? They just feel like-- George, George, John Fashon was-- If they talk like that, yes. I just feel like if they talk like that, they have to have a personality. They're like, oh, I'm part of a tribe or something. Yeah, they put that on, and it's like-- And they think they're just being so fabulous that they've all been shooting there. Ow! Wow! I'm still here. You see that? I can't believe she has the nerve to wear that. God, please. No, it's not. I don't know if you can believe it. And then that lady on there, like, trying to read a cue card. She's like, and me, they would-- She goes, I've been through the middle of the day. She goes, OK, I heard enough of that, right? All right. Moving on to the next topic. It's true. And by the way, again, we're not being mammy-ish. Like, it's how she's reading. And you're reading a card. Like, and meanwhile, I'm sitting there last night. And you're like, right? There's something winning for you to say. I'm still here watching this show. Listen to me, like-- You did that. --is that Winter Fresh, or Winter Mass? Winter Fresh, or Winter Mass. I'm like, I want to shoot myself right now. I know. Because it's like, I'm like, winter suicide coming out. ♪ Teenage suicide don't do it. ♪ I'm sorry. I think, actually, Bebe Smith, I actually feel like she is someone who is bright. But I don't think she's like a good hostess. She shouldn't be on TV. There's nothing natural about her hosting. This is the difference. Like, Lonnie Love is funny as a host, OK? She's a comic. She's funny, whatever. When I think about these people, there's nothing that captivates me. Even if you had maybe just one crazy queeny one that said the crazy-- Yeah, there should be, like, Lawrence in the Navy. No, I'd sit out. Exactly. There should maybe be someone that's more like George-- George is a populist, or whatever's name is. Have someone like that like-- OK, so I'm going to have a crazy-- I'm going to have a crazy populist. Have a crazy Lawrence Washington, whatever. And then have some of them. But, like, if you have, like, just two crazy queens from Atlanta who walk around and heals, who accuse each other of being label whores, when they are actually both the biggest label whores of-- They both are when he was like, honey, I don't wear nothing, Bo. I don't wear nothing, Bo. He's like, I'm not trying to read. That wasn't a read. That wasn't a read. I was like, oh my god. Oh my god. I need a one for the family study. I was like, read-- you're right. Read is not a word that has ever happened in this group, as you say the word read. I know. But it's always people who claim that. Like, when someone goes, I am classy. I am-- you're not. Yeah, I know. But the moment you say classy, one of my favorite moments of watching a Ricky-like show, because I am classy like that, was this one woman, was like, she was angry about something, and then there's like the original Ricky-like show. Like the Go-Ricky. Yeah, Go-Ricky. And this one woman in the audience is like, you're like, you're a piece of trash and everything. And the woman in the guest goes, excuse me, I am classy. So you know what you can do? You can kiss my ass. I'm like, yeah, real classy. I am the same. This is where my dad always likes to say. I've said this before. That woman does have a lot of class, all of it low. That's my dad's favorite line. Oh my god. Please let me steal that line. Steal it. Steal it. Wait, what's your dad saying? Well, I feel like I should mention my dad's name, because he would be mortified. Also, so he's very excited. Because he writes all the bumper stickers in Long Island, and he doesn't want people in that movie. Yeah, he really does. No, no. My dad actually has a professional rotation, and I don't want to sell it with his pod guests. [INTERPOSING VOICES] OK. Well, I'll let you just go. Bill Crosby is Gary. Oh my god, I can't get Larry. I just think that someone who can make a statement like that gets it and sees it. And when these women are finger pointing and saying, well, she can stop my dick. Remember when Lisa said that on the reunion of "Real Housewives of Miami"? Yeah. No, because during the bus ride, when she looked at Joanna, I was like, no, you can suck my dick. That all of a sudden came out of nowhere, and I'm like, oh my god. That took her prim and proper and cutesy level to-- you're right. Those women do have a level of classy. It's just very low. It's all very, very low. At the bottom, it's just a smidge lower than this pod. It's a podcast. Listen, I don't think this is a non-classy podcast. We have wine. We have-- We have wine. We have dark chocolate. I just have a charm that's made with breath. Yeah. We have Grammy Award right over here. If we were sitting in an apartment like Tom and Katie's, I would fucking throw myself off of a balcony. Listen, Barbara Streisand sang part of this mic. Actually, she did. Yeah. This is their studio mic that we're borrowing right now. This is "The Legacy," "The Legacy." Movie scoring, so no one might need it. I know. [MUSIC PLAYING] Oh, my god. No auto tune required. Oh, my god, you guys, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Barbara Streisand. [APPLAUSE] Oh, honey, thank you so much for being here. I'm exhausted. What's funny about this podcast? This is the last time I'm ever going to sing again. The ticket's up $5,000. And five, six, seven, eight, don't tell me. I'm going to let this be some more. I wish you the next year. Barbara Streisand's in concert. She's retiring this year. Barbara Streisand announces she's about to expire more times than milk. Yeah, but here's the thing. To be fair, everyone-- You put a shirt of all time. Yeah. But very funny. No. That sure had an air snap. How dare you boo me? No, no, no. That's not even about fashion clean. OK, but let me just shine something. There's she's about more than milk. Oh, wait. OK, that was mammy. I'm sorry. OK, but what's the line that we forgot to talk about today where she's like, you better consumption-- or what was that? Oh, my goodness. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, Kristen. So this is what happened. This is what we were-- before we get way off topic. Don't make consumption. Body, stop looking inside. That'd be like getting a self task. OK, this is the way I'm reading. No, no, it happens. It's embarrassing at my wine. No, what happens at this burlesque party? So Kristen decided to confront Dandy, and she's like, she's like-- Dandy? Dandy, you're Danielle. Oh, that's right. Brando. Brandi. She's like, don't make-- don't start rumors about my boyfriend. And she's like, well, I just saw a weird camera straight. And then she goes, don't make the consumption that you saw something that you didn't. And I was like, please, Peter, Peter, hold the phone. You're like, you know, if I were to know Peter-- You know, Peter invented consumption because it was so sad. But the fact that she said, don't make the consumption that you know what's going on when you don't. She's like, I need to take a passport photo to go to school. With don't make a consumption spray painted onto her face and like a wig, braid, take your head. Oh, that was-- Taking this whole thing really seriously. Why don't you say consumption? Can we just-- Because she's very dumb. She'll get to the-- Why did she use the word consumption? Maybe she goes watch Mulan Rouge. Yeah. Oh my god. She's like, don't kill Nicole Kidman by consuming the my boyfriend. Yeah, don't consume that I did something like that. She got-- you know why she got tuberculosis? Because she went tubing at Lake Havasu. That's how you get tuberculosis. Kidman got a bloody cough because she accused my boyfriend of fucking the new waiter. No, because she consumed. But she consumed. I'm doing your way through. A lot of people get consumption off life. If you double the sea and ask, you make an ass out of you and me, we have like-- You know, I never make an ass out of you. You know, I never get beef consummate because I'm like, I don't want someone making consumptions about me, especially not beef. Listen, I'm a good girl. Don't consume, but I'm a type of person that would do something so bran said. Whatever. Don't call me or sue me. By the way, this is really bad because we're actually not doing the horse-faced voice, but because the horse-faced voice is like, don't make assumptions about me. Oh my god. That's the horse-faced voice. Wait, is that the horse-faced voice? The way horse-faced one talks is she says, we're all really attractive, but so sorry. Yeah. That's the horse-faced voice. If you don't like hanging out with models, so-- Sorry. If you don't want to make assumptions about people, sorry. OK, wait. But my problem is, what modeling has any of them actually done? Well, you may have heard of the pennies saver. I think you should have seen-- there's a weed wacker. You may have been to the before and after section of Reddit. You're usually the before girl. Well, you know what, this is bullshit then. Then I'm allowed to say I was a model because I used to model all the sports gear for Dick's sporting goods. You did? Yes, I did. I was a model for Dillard. Oh, and JCPenney's. I did JCPenney's in seventh grade. I was a model for Dillard's, which is a big department store in Texas because I was a fat child, I wore the fat jeans. Wait, what were they called? They were called huskies. Huskies. That's right. And you know, I believe that, Kristen, I'm sure-- They're like, don't have fat people. I'm sure there's a billboard with Kristen on it, like in Alabama somewhere for a fireworks depot, you know? Like, come to the Montgomery firecracker depot. No, she's on when you go down through downtown LA because you're trying to get on the 10-- Downton LA. Yeah, I like the thought of Downton LA. Because it's D-W-N-T-W-E, Downton. Someone rings a bell. Yeah, I don't have time to text the whole thing. Everyone knows we're fucking downtown LA. I'm not going to spell out D-O-W, and I quit D-W-N-T-W-N, Downton. Book water. If you're driving through Downton LA and you see that thing for Chinese buffet during lunch, and there's a giant thing that has three girls, and they're all like with their finger and their mouth. Yeah, I really want to think about slutty dirty vaginas while I eat my free Chinese food. Oh, and by the way, have you seen that thing next to where you live called the Las Vegas Seafood Buffet? I actually want to go to that, please don't. I actually walked into it. There's a lot of food there. That's disgusting. No one's in there. It's always empty. Guess why? Yeah, because everyone's got food poisoning. I know, but I like pickled lobster. Like, how can they keep the food fresh? It sits there all day long. It's pickled. That's why. It's pickled. Have you ever been a pickled egg? They're actually delicious. Those are amazing. Pickled eggs, oh, yeah. Live for it. Most things pickled are actually really good. Ronnie. Yeah, Ronnie, you're so fucking fabulous. OK, Las Vegas Seafood Buffet. Delicious stuff your birthday tomorrow. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. That's why you got just some Terry. We gave it to you for your birthday. Yeah, I just passed on consumption through your sparkless bottle. Speaking of pickled-- Here's plastic pans in a bucket for your birthday. Speaking of pickled things, can we talk about the ladies of-- Besides birthday, sponsored by adults of pens. Have fun with that. Las Vegas Buffet. Don't laugh too hard. Guess what? You just cover your birthday. You only get one pair. I would love that. That's the best way to lose seven pounds. I know I would either get a tape or have like horrible diary. Let me tell you something. Ronnie and I went to Fubar over the summer. I kissed a gentleman there and I shat for four days straight. Oh my god. Are you joking? I'm not even joking. OK, do you see why I'm selective? And when I find that dinner that is my favorite dinner and I order it every time, it's like spaghetti and meatballs. I love spaghetti and meatballs. Now I don't eat meat anymore. It's hard for me, but I still love spaghetti. And I'll never give it up. It's like Walter. Walter is my spaghetti with marinara. Oh, that's so nice. You know, I love it. I just want to eat it all the time and I love it and I don't want to veer off and have some weird fucking shrimp buffet with you. I know. That's my problem. Duckeria. That's my problem. I'm always struggling. I'm always going back to the bay. That's my problem. When you have to lay in the bathtub because you don't know which end is going to come up. That's what happened to me that night. I swear to God, then I thought we went to Fubar. Say? I swear to God. Fubar. It was gross. It was gross. This is kind of fubar. It is fubar. You know the owner's wife actually screamed at me and tried to choke me one night there. I just don't know. Wait. The owner of fubar is a wife. Oh, yes. And he's so gay. Yep. He's like the gay. He's like the... She was so mean to me. I was hosting karaoke. She's like, don't fucking look at my husband. I was like, I'm not looking at him because he's eyeballing my boyfriend at the times, dick and balls. So please get over yourself, bitch. I was like way too many jacking cokes. Oh, you were saying that out loud? Oh, yeah. I said that to her face. Oh, yeah. And she lunged at me and started choking me and I fucking, not even smacked, but like an open, palmed punch like that. And she went down and the bouncers came in and I got banned from there for a while. You can make her a lot of elmira. Take her a lot of elmira. You can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still a pig. Right now. Whatever. Sorry. My dad likes you can call it, you can call it prosciutto, but the swine is still a swine. Oh, I can't eat, I'm sorry, I don't eat pork. It's gross. I had a pig. I had a pig for a few days. All right. Handy, porky. Speaking of speaking of, but he would get a boner and it would be like the jig, it would drag on the gram and it would shape like an L. Okay, but Louvie has a real penis, a real looking man. This is Katie's dog, by the way. Oh, yeah. So we have a new little rescue in our family. And I can't be like, I'm a nut. I have a rescue dog. It's like, great. You fucking adopted a dog. Yeah. Everyone else. I hate to say it like this, but he really was found on the streets, very abused, underfed. We took him in our home, even though we already have a dog park here, but he has the largest penis for Chihuahua. It's sheep, like a human penis, like, like a long thing, and it actually has this. No. You can't see this penis. I'm not going to look at this. That's why I put a sweater on him. Yeah, but Dolce's penis is cute because it's very, like, hidden in talks because he was a baby when he got neutered and whatever. Yeah, you were. My dog. Yeah. It looks like everyone makes fun of him at the dog park and says he has a little wiener, and I'm like, dog, who does that to a dog? You don't make fun of a dog spinner. Well, some of you make fun of him. Well, he's been going through, I don't know what his deal is, but he a couple of times has gotten a big old dog boner, and it's like a baby on, first of all. We just cut out. And it looks like it's... I hate dog boner. It's like, blanket fleshy. Ugh. It's disgusting. Can we talk about Atlanta? Oh, yeah, sorry. No, no. I have to finish this real quick. Okay. It's the biggest thing, and he looked really uncomfortable, and he kept trying to get it back in, and it was out for, like, an hour, so I looked it up on the internet, and the internet was like, oh, you better vacillate that shit back in there, or you'll have to take him to the vet. And I'm like, I don't have money for a vet, I'm a blogger. Like, an unemployed guy, or just, like, the worst advert. And I was like, I can't take it. I was like, your penis is going to get chopped off, you know that, and so I had this whole lot of calling my friends, and they're trying to talk me to them about vacillating my dog's wiener in, and finally it went back. They did that. This is, by the way, how every single bestiality porno starts. Well, I guess I'll just have to blow it till it goes back in. Yeah. That's why that's also how every gay porno's a doctor. My boner won't go down. Well, I guess there's one way it has to fix this. I did not blow it. I did blow on it, though. I was like, nope. They did that on Aubrey O'Day's show, remember on all about Aubrey? And just so you know, Danny Kane is recording their new album here. Oh my gosh. I recorded the next podcast. I'm sure. I hope you didn't tell Barbara Streisand that when she was here. No, I never disclosed whatever, but so Danny and Danny Kane, I didn't know this because sometimes Walter rents a studio out when he's out of town. However, he didn't tell them like they have to go use, you know, the other, you know, little area and bathroom and all that. And all of a sudden sitting with the dogs and I look up and fucking Aubrey O'Day is standing. Literally, my thing is just like, can I come in and I was like, we were in a tryout group together for the reel, that talk show, and she was like, you look so familiar, and I was like, well, we were in a tryout group, but I actually remember people. You should just say that I was on celebrity apprentice on Janik Jax. I'm not sure yet. You a ghost. Remember when Nini was like, you a ghost. Oh, that was the best sense. You are. Oh, lady. You ask. Go. I fight with you. Caspa. So mean fucking Nini Lakes. I know we should move on to Atlanta, but anyway, so she was here and she was and Dolce and Ruby loved her. She's a total dog person, which was really cute. So regardless. Don't feel afraid of drowning and she's got the best floatation. Yeah. She's like, she's like a like. And she had no eccentricity. Her hair was like chin length. Oh. And she had no makeup on. She had these big slippers, and she was like really, really friendly, really cute. You know, she was on celebrity apprentice. She was actually, she was on top of it. I'm not going to lie. She's wickedly smart. She's one of those people who like, you know, she plays the like, ditzy dumb girl, but real life, she's really smart, she's a smart girl. Well, the same can not be said for the cast, the real house was Atlanta. Oh, please don't we move on to that. Well, you're on. Let's just get as baby. Smith. I mean, you know, it's amazing. Oh, I heard that. Moving on. I'm sorry. Watch that show. That's so funny. It's true. That's exactly right. That's exactly what she does. She doesn't even, she doesn't listen to what the cast members are saying. She waits for them to finish. And honestly, we're all guilty of doing that sometimes with our friends because sometimes our stories are so bad, you're like, God, just finish this fucking story already so we could, you know, well, the best of when someone goes, that's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome. Anyway. That's Andy Cohen. Yeah, it is. Andy Cohen is notorious for being a, uh, we took your finish and then I go, okay, then. So anyway, in my life, that's great. That's great. Oh, that's awesome. I just lost my baby and he's like, great, let's play game. Whose boobs are more disgusting Melissa Gorgas are. Or your dead babies. What? Or your dead babies. Or Hitler. My Jack all the week goes to your dead baby. All right. Who has a witch face? Witch bitch face is tough. Stop. I'm, okay. I'm doing a non-vegetment. I'm doing a, no segue. We're going an hour and 16 minutes here. We have talked about Atlanta. Wait, really? Yes. It's the wine, you guys. It's the wine. It's the wine in the presence of Barbara Streisand in this microphone. She's dropped. It's like, it just, it's like a cookie. She's like, I don't worry. We're, we're retiring. We're, we're, we're. Right on my phone. So what about Atlanta? So the things that happen on Atlanta, uh, Portia looked at a penthouse and then she decided that she really wanted to stay at home. So that was her ass's broke. Because her ass is broke. And she's not getting any money from Cortez. We know what the main thing is. We'll get to the main thing. Oh my God. We totally need to talk about it. I made a mental note and I remember I had a mental note. No. No, no. No, no to my phone. Don't make a consumption. I don't know. Don't make assumptions about my notes. Yeah. Don't make a consumption. Okay. So Portia what now? Nothing. Nothing with Portia. Wait, what's your mental note? Okay. My mental note was about Kenya more. Yes. You know, why Kenya whore. So why I hate her so much. She is like Stasi. Each, each show has someone I hate. Kenya Moore goes into her new house. She just fucking leased and claims when, um, Miss Lawrence or whatever, whatever the fucking queen comes over with this without lip gloss. Can you believe that? Oh, yeah. Wait, wait, wait, wait. I have to make an, I have to make an, I have to make an, I have to make an aside. They did it on fashion coolies. They compared, they compared Lawrence because he's wearing a little hat, uh, someone else wearing a hat. Cindy wearing a hat. Yeah. And then, and to babies and it's like, Oh, you're trying to butch it up Lawrence. I'm like, that, that's butching it up. If that's butching up a little, like a little straw hat, bushes, Lawrence up, then I don't know. I must be like a fucking football player. No. He had an Alexander. Yeah. That's me. Yeah. And he referenced that. He did. He did. Yeah. And normally doesn't wear a scarf. It was very womanly. He, he was sitting like this. It's okay. If you're gay, it's okay. It's okay. There's nothing wrong with gay people. The problem is is like, when they make statements like that, well, you try to butch it up with a fucking hat. No. She's like, you're so butch Lawrence, the way you can take it up the button, not cry. That is so manly of you. Oh my God. Bring a football team in your ball. Yeah. I'm just saying that I thought that was so ridiculous. You're right that they did bring that up. I'm like, that's not butch. He still looks like crazy with that. Yeah. Exactly. So anyway, so you were saying, so Lawrence comes over. So Lawrence comes over and now she's, she calls Nini, which is such a set up again producer thing. She calls it. She's like, hey girl. And she's like, why are you calling me? Like me? And it's just, I hate us. Yeah. And she's like, I got my new place. She's like, you didn't even tell me how to talk about your food. Oh yeah. I actually would love to go grocery shopping with Nini because first of all, I think here's the thing with Nini is I love this sense of entitlement that it is talking about down Nabi. She's acting like she is part of like Mary and all, all like Mary and civil like a long loss. She's a billionaire. She's like, she's like, first of all, she's like, I don't clean them all. And then she was like, whoa, white refrigerator. And now she's like, ooh, look at this. Like at this, why don't go grocery shopping? I'm like, Nini. Okay. You know what? Next. Let's get a grip here. All right. So just try to see somewhat grounded in reality. Yeah. It's not relatable at all when you just say you don't even go grocery shopping anymore. It's like New Steel Glutes being like, how much is a banana? $10. You know? It's like, come on, Nini. Wait. Okay. I love how like she's like, boy. I love how like Katie. Oh yeah. Katie over here. Katie is half. You're supposed to pretend that's totally normal. Yeah. Katie's like, this is by the way. Katie is like, oh, like West Hollywood apartment like that was like, you bet it's $2300 first apartment. Yeah. How cheap is that? I'm sorry. It was, I'm sorry. It's what it was. It like in between like 14 to 16 hours for, for Jackson's apartment, that is cheap for us. You're bad. Blue sound cheap for West Hollywood. Yeah. Okay. But that is cheap. I will see this because it looks more expensive. He has hardwood floors, arch Adobe ceilings, built in HVAC like that shit is expensive. Don't get me wrong. I am the queen of real estate. No one can find an apartment like I can in one day. I can find you the most bomb ass duplex, amazing place, hot tub in the back, Christmas lights coming with it with utilities included for like $1,500 a month. I am amazing at finding places. I found this house in one day. You did. One day. Yes. One day. Well, it was empty. Walter was working and I said, I found the house. This is it. We don't need a realtor. We don't need whatever. So when I know a house, a place is really expensive where it's not, I don't think for what he actually has with hallways and a little, all those closets. How much? Sixteen. All right. Sixteen's average for that neighborhood for sure. But he has a den too. So let's be fair. But it's also, it's a studio. Did you see his bed was in his bed with his bed? No, it's not. The studio. I don't know if you saw that the wide, the wide angle, he has this bed right next to that couch. Oh, is that with the by here? That's it. I'm doing push ups and getting a job at Sarah. Okay. So anyway, we back to. So anyway. Kenny Moore being a bitch and saying like, oh, this is under 5,000 square feet. You know, that's not Kenny Moore style. Do you know what this is? Whatever. This is going to get kicked out of your last house because you didn't pay for it. You didn't pay for it. You didn't pay for it. You didn't pay for it. When she says it, it fucking angers me. She makes, as an ex-Miss USA star for whatever. She says 5,000 square feet is bullshit for a house. That's huge. Really? That's what this is. Yeah. You think this is a fucking like shacking award? Yeah, guess what? And Barbara Streisand comes here. You don't see Barbara Streisand in your mansion. Barbara Streisand is closet. I like we act as if like, just the house alone just attracted Barbara. Barbara Streisand here. She just like, wafted in. She's like, I see what this is. Yeah, but you're all annoying that is. It's as annoying as me probably making the statement as like, oh my god, that little dump 16 out of my-- that's not what I went to say. I did not want to tell you. No, we're just giving you a show now. No, we're not. No, I'm saying because I know people are going to listen to be like, oh fuck that bitch. You're right. I feel your pain. They'll say that no matter what. I know. It's annoying to make statements like that, but Kenya goes above me up, but there's nothing to show for it. Yeah. It's like you just got kicked out of your house. She looked at a 2.5 million dollar place. She hasn't been paid until the end of the season. Like this season she's making, I think she's like the second paid, second highest paid-- So what's she getting a 100,000? She's right under Nini. Oh no. For the year, she's making 800,000 I believe for the year? No way. Yeah, she's making-- I believe an enormous amount of-- She made a big impact on the show last year because she kind of brought it back last year and Nini's not doing anything because she's trying to be nice to get back on another sitcom or some shit. Oh yeah, she is. They made another cray cray and they thought Nini was going to lean, so they got another cray in Kenya and paid her ass. But you know she's not getting that-- you know her first season, she made like $20,000 because that's what they make. And then her second season, she's going to make almost a million, but that's still-- They're not going to pay her. They're not going to prepay Kenya. Who told you that? That's not right. Probably like radar online, which is super trustworthy. Oh my god. Okay. All right. So anyway, while you look that up, so Kenya didn't really do too much this week that I can remember offhand and Cynthia, the only thing was that her daughter brought her boyfriend over, which actually that was cute. I thought it was cute. I thought it was cute, but it was, um, really cool. Yeah. It was like whatever. It's like whatever. It's like typical Cynthia storyline. Who cares? It was like, "Hey kid, what you going to do with my girl?" What if you were like, "Hey, she got the fondest ass to tell them I'm going to hit that shit." I would have been like, "Oh, I'm watching this." Did you say he's like, "I have fun to like clean my braces and go to the movies." I'm like, "Oh, snooze!" That's not what Amanda, you're supposed to make her get a job and support you and open a box. He's like, "What?" He's like, "What?" You're a waste of life. You got to take, you got to take, you got to take her money and open up a bar, the nose you're going to, and then you go open up a warehouse and then very grow up to, and that's it. I think Amanda, no time is going to go. Oh. What she's done, you throw away like a toothpick. Can you more releases? Oh my God. It just came out on the examiner. Did you hear this? And now it's on TMZ. Oh my God. Breaking news. Breaking. Oh, I want to know. Oh, I want to know Peter. We have no peter. We have no peter. Oh, I want to know. I can still sweat through it. Oh, I want to know Peter. This is a break news about Kenya Moore. You know what I mean? All right. Are you guys ready for this? You're hearing this first. Live from the Lexi-Achevera. I'm losing more. Okay. Oh, I want to know. Oh, I want to know. Oh, yes. One peter. One peter. H-R-O-R-H-O-A. Sounds kind of like that. One is a sort of cheese. Real house wise of Atlanta. And then you more releases the text messages from Phaedra Parks. She released the Phaedra. From Phaedra? Yeah. I read the ones last week from Phaedra. Thank you. You can edit those. So that's such bullshit. She could have actually said things. Took hers out. X to out. What are the... Okay. You want to hear them? Oh my God. Here we go. Oh, shit. The shit just got real. This got real. This shit is real. Okay. So she said that Kenya Moore and Phaedra Parks have been battling each other. They released it. And Apollo through text. And they even claim that Kenya offered to give Apollo oral sex. Oh my God. So Kenya in retaliation has released screenshots of the text messages literally two days ago. Clearly hoping that it shows she never sexually offered herself. Which she could have just fucking deleted. And it's total bullshit. Or she could have actually just texted someone and made that guy's contact say Apollo. And it could have been her friend writing back. But go on. So Kenya Moore writes down. Number one, I offered Felicio to Apollo. Line number two, I initiated the text. Line number three, I saw Apollo in LA. Lie. Lie number four. Everything that comes out of either Phaedra or Apollo's mouth are lies. Okay. So do you think the text messages show anything inappropriate? That's what she wrote. I think we read that last week. Yeah. That was what we read last week. That's some bullshit. And it's basically just her sending friendly text back and forth to Apollo. Now she's got some messages. It's just got released. This literally. Just. Oh my god. Is that on radar online? Hey radar online. It's on radar. Oh, look at the commercial. Oh my god. I know, right? Why? I was looking up recipes. You know, every time you click the next button for a new recipe. It's like a new fucking Kmart commercial. No. Examiners the worst. They are the worst. But however, they're releasing the actual photos that she took. This is only from like two to years ago. Read them. I am. I'm just waiting for the butter ball. Christmas turkey fucking commercials. Jesus. Jesus. I mean considering that we don't even eat meat. It's like can we just not with these fucking like clothes stuffed birds. I'm not geeze. I bought my Thanksgiving. I've been in his underwear just mortified how we act. Well that commercial air is I'd like to take this time to mention that I bought my Thanksgiving turkey at Target for $12. Oh my god. $12 for a 16 pound turkey. Maybe some an animal gave it's a life for less than $12. That's not as can you pay it on her last house. Oh my god. She was on Huffington Post live. Did you guys see this? No, I'm just really happy that I've been able to affect so many people in a positive way. So that's great to hear. Which people about that? You know, in order to make it all in real house wise, you have had a fascinating past. And I know that it started beginning with Miss USA and you went on to have a great act. It's an attack for you. Was this something you thought was going to have when you were a little girl? You want a reality show? Wouldn't have just, you know. She didn't listen to what she just said. You know, um, originally I don't think so. I think that I was born in the inner city. My grandmother struggled just to keep me off the streets and out of trouble. Your mom hated me. And I just focused on what was in front of me. I love the arts. I love dancing. And one thing just led to the other. Oh, never mind. Let's get to the real, let's get to the real, let's get to the meat and potatoes of this week's episode. Oh, here we go. I fast forwarded it. Here it is. She's talking about Apollo. Are you ready? Oh, yeah. I'm in the room because they were so excited to be in front of me and be in front of Cynthia and receive that positive energy. And that's not how it came across. And it really hurt my heart because it's one thing I've ever stood for my entire life was supporting young black girls at the foundation. And they're at this joint house. She was so mean to them. They were in there auditions. You saw where she treated them. And even mentor young black girls especially. You know, Kenny Moore really is a wonderful role model and I don't understand why anyone would think of it was. Yeah, all right. Kenny Moore's the worst. Let's talk about the meat and potatoes of the episode. Yeah. Which was really about candy and mama joyous. That's what this week was all about. Oh my gosh. And that was kind of amazing because. It's kind of hilarious that Todd is having to tell candy. Like you have to stand up for me. Okay. What do you guys think? Because my mom was always battling the other side of the family. And guess who won? Mom. And she beat the entire Lebanese side of the family. You have to stick up for your spouse. You cannot sign with your family over. Oh, look at this. A 20 or 8 shivers. My parents thought Walter was probably like some crazy molester. Seriously, then they met him and they were like, oh, he's like the best. And I was like, oh, there ain't no fights. Well, the thing is this. So the thing is this. So for those who uninitiated. So mama joy suddenly does not like Todd anymore because she keeps hearing rumors probably from bravo producers who want to stir shit up that Todd just wants to use her. So candy decides she's like, see, what I'm going to do is get Riley in here. We're going to have a luncheon and I'm going to sit down. Todd and mama and see if they can bring out their differences. And see, like, can we move forward or is this going to always be like this? Riley had a moment where candy was trying to decide what to say next. And she went, she definitely went like, well, let's see. It's like hitting my TV. It's like the way you're always going to be a mama. It's going to be. I know. It was like the emergency. It sort of sounds like metal is kind of like breaking or twisting in front of it. It's like the car crashing really slowly. So the thing is this mama joys, guess this dinner. And she must be wasted or something because she is. She is mama joys. She's not obviously shit faced. She's always been so adorable. Whenever they show mama joys, she's adorable. Then last year they showed her with the stripper and she freaked out or whatever. Two years ago. Two years ago. And then they didn't show her hardly at all last year. And then this year she's back and she's wasted. I don't know what it is. I'm thinking she's wasted. She's got to be right. Too many wigs on the brain. Like she is. She is wasted. There ain't no river deep. No. There ain't no desert. I don't know. Oh my god. There ain't no mountain. No. Forgive me. I'm going to die. The dogs. Oh my god. Yeah, mama joys. Can we just talk about that? Ronnie hits such a high note. Doing mama joys. Not only did he break. Sorry. Not only did he break. It's over. No, it's okay. Walter just walked in with the animals. Walter's like, say you're a dying animal in here. I want to make sure everything is over. No, he heard a Mariah Carey note and he goes, "Am I going to be producing my next Christmas album in my house?" Okay, now it's there. You got to save us for mama joys. You saved us. You saved us. You saved us. You saved us. We're doing our podcast. We're doing our podcast. It's okay. Everyone say hi to Walter. Hi, Walter. Hi, Walter. Walter, your baby. No, it's a sound wall. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's not like Good Morning America. It's not Barbara Walters or anything. Blah, blah, blah, blah. So wild cop. What would it like to work with? Blah, blah, blah, blah. You did a man. It's a podcast. Oh my god. Okay. You know what? Let's not date my man. You know what? Let's not date my man. You look good. I know. But he just asked what a podcast is. And my 69 year old mother listens to this. She does. Oh, she knows. She loved it. She loves it. 69. Yeah. Yeah. She just turned 69. Hey, oh, smile. You're a 69 year old. We just got photographs by the one and only Walter. Yeah. Walter. Wawa. Barbara's Mike. So we're talking actually. So Walter, in case you have any opinions. We're talking about mama joys and the way that mama joys treated candy. Or Todd at the dinner this week. At the dinner because she accused Todd of being an opportunist wanting to take candy versus money. But little does everyone know candy also funds mama joys' activities in life. I didn't see that. Oh, Walter. Oh, no. Oh, no. Maybe you could play all I want for Christmas as you. Oh, I'm a hot dog. Yeah. Oh my god. You mad. He's actually allowed to because he wrote it. I hope everyone realizes this. Walter wrote all I want for Christmas as you. Why isn't it allowed? Just play 30 seconds. Ready? Oh my god. You guys. This is actually really cool. Here we go. I forgot how to play it. Okay. No, you didn't forget how to play the piano. Wawa. Wawa. Okay. I'm a rhyme. Just kidding. Oh my god. Okay. No. Two more seconds. Come on. No, two more seconds. Come on for the viewers. That proved nothing. That proved nothing. That is, I don't know how else to play it. Ready? And five, six. Do it right now. I'm going to choose you in your sleep. Here it is. I don't want to lie in my Christmas. There's just something I don't need. And I don't care about the presents. Underneath the Christmas tree. I just want you for my own. But then you can ever know. Wawa. Can I do? On and on for Christmas. If you do. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Oh my god, you're worse than a mom. I feel like. Honey, get up there. Remember that song you did? Get up there and sing it for your friends. I feel like on that note, we should just end it. Like that's just like, that's like the note. That's like the, how can we talk that? It doesn't matter. This is like crazy. We have four guys. We just had. We just had the man who wrote all one for Christmas. Play it for us. And we played the part of Mariah Carey. This podcast has reached his peak. Here's the thing, Ronnie can hit those Mariah notes. Because his impersonation of mom enjoys the fact that he hit that note. That's a high note. Mariah can't even hit those notes. Oh, watch the new Christmas lighting at Rockefeller Center. That's just going to be. Oh my god, my friend will want to put back a cat for three years. And she told me a lot of secrets about Mariah Carey. Watch the new Christmas lighting at Rockefeller Center. Oh my god, I got a little New York. Yeah, watch the, you see the Mariah. I come out with my own waters called Staten Island water. Mariah Carey. You know we see the Mariah Carey trash. Brown water. All right. And it's called BRJ. BRJ. BRJ. No. Yeah, BRJ. I got my own waters, brown waters from Staten Island. All right. Is that Brian water? I mean, how can you do it? Oh, and Eddie last. Eddie last thoughts on Atlanta so we can wrap this up. Okay, I think Mama Joyce is being way too harsh. I think she's being, oh, like really mean. And the fact that I was watching Todd in my, my, my, my heart was with him. I know. How he didn't crack and be like, fuck you bitch. I'm here for your daughter. I gave up jobs for her. Like he kept us cool and he was really cool about it. That's a ring. You get a Christmas. That's not a good. I was like, shut up. You should be so lucky. You should be so lucky that your daughter has that ring, right? You should bring his head, brings it up $50,000. Oh my. You can't even practice yourself down for you. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. I thought she was mess up. I thought she was mess up. I got to drive. All right. That was not nice. And you know what? Here's the thing that she doesn't understand. The spouse wins. The spouse is the one that is sleeping with you. He is the one that's taking care of you every day. And she talks shit to her. And she talks shit to her. And she's smiling. And she's smiling. See? I can say things to Riley. Like mama. Mama. I was like, can we just move forward? Mama. Can you just hang out with Riley and have Mom with him? Why don't you see? Why can't we do that? The mama. Hands down that is like that. But the fact that she can sing so well is shocking because she sounds like- Well that's why she's got all her octaves. She's got three octaves just since you said one sentence. Now I will say this though. I will say this. Todd defended it. She doesn't have five octave range just by speaking. Todd did a terrible job in defending himself. She's like, what do you provide? And Todd's like, I provide stability. I provide support. I'm like, oh Todd. Just say you earn money and just be done with it. Like this thing you pay the ass bill. That's what I pay on. I can't manufacture it. And she's like, look around. Look around you. And he's like, it's not like I'm fucking homeless. I mean. It's like, hey mama goes, what do you provide? Did you pay for that giant house that you live in now? How about that, mom and Joyce? Yeah, no kidding. Living in Candy's old house if she can't sell because you're living in it. Yeah, because she won't. And she won't. She's giving it to her mother. She should be fucking thankful. Yeah. Yeah. That's like a few million dollars for Candy right there though. Candy's not catching it on. At least last week. I mean last week or the week before mama Joyce was like, well, what if you choke on a chicken bomb? And is Todd going to be so generous to be dead? Like so she said. Like she's worried that Tammy's going to die first. Yeah, and the money will go together. Guess what? Maybe Todd. That's the exact same reason she should be kissing Todd. Exactly. Exactly. I know. And by the way, that's a little stereotypical that she was like, what if you choke on a chicken bone? What if she just chokes just down food? Why do you have to be a chicken bone? Why do you have to be a chicken bone? Why do you have to be a chicken bone? Why do you have to be a chicken bone? Why do you have to be a chicken bone? Why do you have to be a chicken bone? Why do you have to be a chicken bone? 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Why do you want to be a chicken bone? Why do you want to be a chicken bone? Why do you want to be a chicken bone? Why do you want to be a chicken bone? Why do you want to be a chicken bone? I'm Jay, you give her a fish, she jumps to a hoop. Oh my God, I love her. Do you get off? You step off team MJ. I could say a nasty thing about it, but I say team Jay, MJ afterwards, and she's like, my uncle now. He says, remember what he said about her during the reading? He really said that, like, if one of you guys said that about me, now International Public Forum called me an alcoholic, a bank thief, what do you think we would be friends? I would do in the wise words of Andy Cohen and fucking Molzotov cocktail your house. It's like, so Gigi, I hope you're liking your family week and that brought your nemesis right now. Let's see what happens. So, did you guys make up now? She's like, at residence, I thought we were going to the spot so I could stuff my face with fucking shrimp cocktail. No, I went to Sacramento instead. Suddenly brought your white river rafting so I could release you back into the wild so you could stuff in your truck. Free, MJ. My homegirl loves a good river. Like, that's so white to go down a river. This is the widest place I've ever been. He's like, they're tents and benches and campfires. This is so white. Like, hello, have you ever heard of Bedouins? Hello. Yeah, no kidding. Have you ever seen Ira? That was, by the way, you've never seen anybody living in a tent. By the way, by the way, country is a tent. By the way, that was going to be on record. That's the sassiest Bedouin joke you've ever heard. Hello, you ever heard of Bedouin before? Hello. Hello, life's love. And not an ending. This is like the widest. This camping trip is so white. Like, if we were in Persia, we would have, like, rice and, like, carpets down. Oh, my God. A carpet and a tent is foreign to Iranian people. That's like throwing couscous on their plate. They're like, what is less par people's food? You're like, it's more people's food. No, but, like, Gigi and MJ, I like my home girls. I'm only, my home girls all have to have just letters in their name. Like, Gigi and MJ and FF. Have you ever met her yet? Oh, my God. Which is awesome. It stands for Farina Fafaf. She always does food. Fafafaf. Farina Fafafaf. Okay, now I'm being- She was named after the right button on the remote community. Right button on the remote control. Don't show me not to live, just sit and puddle. Life's candy and the sun's a ball of butter. Don't bring around a cloud to rain and my ball of butter. Well, you got it. I'm gonna live and live now. Wait, where is that? I'm looking at it. Oh, yeah. Get what I want. I know how. One row for the whole shipping. Oh, P.S. Can I just tell you really quick breaking news, too? Oh, yeah. Okay, so we all know that, like, David Foster plugged his whole fucking- I'm gonna work with Stevie Wonder and whatever. And so whatever I've done, my shameless plugs for Walts are working with- Oh, I was surprised. And I'm the duet's album, which I think that's a little bit more prestigious. 'Cause it's gonna have people like Bono and Sting, whatever. Not just Stevie Wonder. Is that recorded here? Do you like Bono and Sting come to cheer? They do, like, through the- Whatever. Yeah, they actually do it through, like, computers. Kind of cool. Some, yes, some, no, Billy Joel, whatever. So, Walter says to me, "Hey," you know, 'cause he's written some really beautiful songs. I go, "Why don't you do?" There's so many unsigned talented people that are amazing that have all been on all these shows. Why don't you have them sing some of your songs and do, like, a Walter's greatest hits? And you're like, "Yeah, that'd be great." So Walter wrote She Bangs, which is one of my favorite songs. Yeah, thanks. And I go, "You can't obviously redo that. Why don't you do, like, a jazz version of She Bangs?" And so, literally in five seconds he sat down. He was like, "She bang!" One of those, like, big brass sections. "She move!" Whoa, whoa, whoa. So, that's where that whole thing came about. And so, you know what? It's like you, David Fucking Foster. Yeah. Where's William Hong doing your music? Yeah. [SINGING] He went with Marley Mack then. Well, that's how I got my smart car. Thank you, William Hong. All right. [LAUGHTER] On that note, Katie-- Too much. --to the three people who are still listening. [LAUGHTER] Oh, my God. No, we really have to wrap this up because that's to be somewhere. Isn't that Christmas? It's 8. It's 8 p.m. We might get into one. We're going for an hour and 45 minutes. We have to wrap this up. Oh, man. This has been the funnest night of my fucking life. And I have to pee, right? So anyway, Katie, thank you so much for having us over. Tell Walter, thank you for playing. Oh, my God. All in one for Christmas. Does that just happen? I'm hearing jingles. I feel like you've been in all your stuff up in the bedroom. No, I think Santa's on the roof because we've been so good. I think Stossy's here. You've heard us. Stossy's like coming to the room. She's spreading your HPV all over my house. She's coming out of the TV upstairs. All your clothes are going to be on the roof. Everyone, please subscribe to us on iTunes. iTunes, do a search for Watch For Crap, and subscribe to us on the Stitcher and on SoundCloud. Watch For Crap. It's our Facebook page. You have to like us on Facebook, Facebook.com/watchforcrapins, where there's all sorts of crazy stuff. We have like 2,100. We need to get to 10,000, okay? Everyone find three people, and then we'll get to 10,000. Tell three of your friends to like it, and we'll get to 10,000. Wait, really? Well, we're-- you guys are that close? We're at 2,100 likes, but if every single one of you people, you people-- No, we're away. We're just saying, you know. Tell-- if everyone tells three people, we can get up to-- I know, but why can't they just tell, like, put a share on their page? I think they should share this instead of the-- Literally, put share the musician on your page. Yes. And tell them-- They should share what's the purpose. And you're organizing your closet, or your board at work, or you're listening to someone complain on customer service. Why do you listen to Watch For Crapins? Help us. Help us. Help us. Help us. No, seriously. Honestly, we would be very appreciative if you could do that. And follow Katie at the Painted Nail. Follow Ronnie at Trash Tweet TV. Go to his website, trashtalktv.com. And follow me at B-side Blog. And be sure to listen to my other podcast, Banter with Ben and Lisa, which is also super funny. It's marginally good. It's marginally good. It's hilarious. I mean, you won't have spontaneous renditions of All I Want For Christmas is You, written by the host of the song. I feel like we should just abuse Walter in every podcast. We should. We should. We should be able to play like three seconds in this line of the song. Yeah. It's quite a song. It's a station world there, and it's a good song. Oh, yeah. Okay, everyone. So, thanks everyone for listening. What a blast. And we'll see you next week. Bye. Bye. See you when I'm 35. Oh, God. It's over. I only have four hours left to be. Your life is over in Hollywood. All right. Bye. You're done. If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the Internet. The folks behind the sideshow network of launch the new YouTube channel called Wait For It. It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza Schleischinger, Slicing, driving friends with it for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there, and I still have a hard time with the last name, Liza. Our very own Owen Benjamin, that's me, takes you on a musical journey down Internet rabbit holes, and much more. You don't have to wait any longer. Just go to youtube.com/waitfortcomedy. There's no need to wait for it anymore. Because it's here. And it's funny. And I love you. A few days ago, Brooke Todine posted an inspirational quote on her wall that got 17 likes and three comments. Thumbs up, Brooke. Geico also wants to make a comment. In just 15 minutes, you can save hundreds of dollars on your car insurance by switching to Geico. And nothing says inspiration better than saving money. Well, except for those posters that say things like teamwork, excellence, and make it happen. Hashtag keep climbing. Hashtag savings. Geico, 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance. If you like Watch what Crap is, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. My members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at Wondery.com/survey. 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