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Welcome to Watch what Crap is a podcast about all the crap we'd love to talk about on Bravo. I'm Ronnie Caron from Trash Talk TV, and I'm here with Ben Mandelker from B-Side Blog, hello Benjamin! Oh well, hello there! Welcome back everybody! It was a really busy week on the bribes, but before we start, I'll give you our info. You can find the site I run Trash Talk TV at trashtalktv.com on Instagram at instagram.com/trashtalktv. I have a bunch of spoof videos on my YouTube, which is youtube.com/trashtalktv, T-E-E-V-E-E, spelled there. And you can find Ben on Instagram, Vine, Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, probably any social media place you can watch him at B-Side Blog. Okay guys, so yeah, well yeah, okay, so what do you want to talk about today? A lot of crap happened, do you want to start with some gas? Yeah, let's start with some gossip, there's so much gossip, of course I can't remember any of it right now, but luckily we have our trusty Facebook page, facebook.com/watchworkcrapins, where everyone just keeps posting all these great pieces of gossip, so let's see, was there any that was really pressing off your head Ronnie? There is some good stuff, well we talked about, you know there's that website, I think it's called All About The Real Housewives, now I don't know why they posted it five weeks late, but they posted something today saying, "Jacklin, Loretta is not returning to it." Yes, I read that. Well congrats, we heard that I think two weeks ago, but yeah, and Kathy's been demoted to Friend of Housewives, which of course is a rumor last season, but it seems even more likely this season, or this interim, yeah, and Caroline is also for sure not returning now. Yeah, she actually wrote a statement now, in fact reality blurred posted her explanation for why she's leaving, and she said something along the lines of, you know, I was doing it because it was fun, and I was being true to myself, and it became something I was excited to show all my friends and family, and now it's become something that I'm embarrassed about, and I don't want to be embarrassed, I don't want to be smurched my name, I don't want to have to hide this from my kids, etc, etc. And then she's like, "But don't worry, I have a new show coming out with my sons." So way to go Caroline, way to protect your image, and to take on privacy by the horns. Yeah, that's a really long way of saying, my husband just got cheating on me with someone for five years, and I don't want to talk about that shit, or his mob connections on TV. Okay, thanks. Love Caroline. Yeah. That's pretty much where it goes. A good one from Real Housewives of Atlanta that Olivia posted for us, Nini and Marlow got in a fight so bad on the set of Real Housewives of Atlanta that Marlow got fired. Wow. Haven't these bitches learned yet that you cannot fight with Nini? I thought Marlow was already off Real Housewives of Atlanta, we didn't even see her last season. She was back as a friend of this year. No, but she was always a friend of. Yeah, but she wasn't last year, she wasn't on at all last year. She wasn't on also, meaning that this year she's back, this season she's back as a friend of, and then she'll be unfriended. Yeah, she did Nini's wedding show, and she started getting in that fight with that cow Diana, which I'm sorry to call her a cow, but oh my God, I don't even mean it in a fat way. It's like the bitchy way, where she's like, that girl doesn't deserve to be a bridesmaid. I'm a better friend of you. It's like, oh my God, I don't know if you've ever been a bridesmaid, but it's a bitch when that starts happening. I thought you meant like a cow, like in a literal way, like she was actually lactating everywhere. There's milk, buckets and buckets of milk. I do not appreciate how production had to keep her pregnant to keep milk flowing. Okay. It's cruel. It's very cruel. You know, doesn't she realize that like people don't even like dairy anymore these days? Yeah, dairy's so out. So not paleo. Yeah, so wrong. So gone. Actually, dairy is paleo, isn't it? Um, I don't know guys, I'm a vegan now, so I care about the rainforest, so that's all I'm saying. Yeah. Um, I don't know. I mean, I don't have milk in my apartment, but that's only because I have no need for it, really, but I do eat. I have a lot of dairy. A lot of, in fact, my dinner last night was 75% cheese. Okay. Well, you know, next time it's next time I drive past a cow. The completely barren rainforest, I will send you regards. All right there. All right. Sounds good. But yeah, people need to learn not to fuck with Nini because it's the charade, you know, she will charade your ass. Absolutely. The charade did not get fired because she was boring or had nothing to say or any of the normal house wise reasons. Charade was a wonderful train wreck to watch. She gave us some of our best house wise lines of all time. And she was to the point where she was sleeping on a mattress and digging a hole in the ground that she couldn't afford. Yeah. That was, that was reality TV gold, but she and in that hole, she parked her Aston Martin, her brand new Aston Martin, so they couldn't read this asset. Yeah, for charade, but she met with Nini bitch and so apparently did Barlow and it got so bad that there were bottles being thrown and apparently Nini punched a producer in a face in the face saying, I made you bitch. You respect me or something like that. Let me tell you something. Nini has not made anyone. The only person she's ever made is maybe some clay figurine that she made in some crafting course at some point in her life. Nini leaks, I'm sorry you do not make a single person. You are a reality star. You had like, you had a crossover into Glee and into your own sitcom. Maybe you will be a sitcom actress, but even as a sitcom actress, you are still a reality star from the real house wise of Atlanta. You don't make people. Well, she made that kid is getting thrown in jail all the time. So there's that. Oh yeah. So she makes that. She makes children who are on weed and have terrible braids and terrible, I shouldn't make fun of him. He seems nice. He seems nice and like the friend who will always give you weed even though you know that he's paying for it. Actually, her other son is good. Her other son is good. Wait, it was the good son Bryson or the bad son Bryson? I don't know. I don't really. Rice. Yes. I think price might be the good son. And then the bad one is, I don't know. No, the good son is McCauley Culkin. Let's not forget our roots. And Elijah Wood is the bad son. She gave birth to McCauley Culkin and Elijah Wood. Oh my God. She did make someone. She made two Hollywood legends. I know you didn't take that bowling ball and throw it off in the highway. Okay. This is something on our Facebook. I'm sorry. I missed that because I'm reading the Facebook, you know? Just like in real life. Look how much shit I've missed because I'm sitting here reading a fucking Facebook post. That's okay. Sorry Ben. Sorry Ben. This is from Derek and he posted, I know you guys hate the new Atlanta, but I fully expect a segment on the podcast dedicated to the brawl in the bathroom. All right. So I tried watching that again right before this. Wait, wait, wait. Derek, this is the segment right now about the brawl in the bathroom. Okay. This is, this is, this is my contribution. Oh what? Well, I haven't watched him in so long that I had to, I read this yesterday. So I had to try and get a few episodes and I have no idea what order they're in, but I just watched one where that Africa girl was fighting with trophy wife, but it wasn't in a bathroom. They were just at coffee and then they were both talking over each other and they're like, I'm over it. She's like, I'm over it. And then that was it. Yeah, I don't, I don't know, but basically my feelings for that show were the same as they were before I watched the episode, which is basically, I can't, I just can't, I can't. That show is basically like a sassier version of a different world, more or less, with way worse talking. Yeah. It does need some Jasmine Guy and some Dwayne Wayne. That's for sure. Four roles. And it's someone in a military outfit for no good reason. Yeah. And that girl Denise looking like she's over it, even though she's handed money for basically sitting there and squinting. You know what does she ever do? You know what this, you know what this show needs? It needs a young Marissa Tomei. This show needs some Jell-O-put-n-pops. Oh wow. We are making some deep, deep, different world jokes here, but people, anyway, so that concludes our segment on the bathroom brawl. Oh no. Oh yeah, on the bathroom probably yes, but there's some more on the Facebook page there is Jill Zarin's Camel Toe. Yeah, that's a real abuse, which is frightening. So thank you to everybody who posted that. It looks like the eye of Mordor without the pupil. It looks like a kind of deflating pool toy where it starts creasing in different places. It looks like that space in between my mattress and my box ring where I've tucked in the fitted sheet. It looks like where I've gained a lot of weight and I've got my armpit skin close to my boob skin and there's just like all these folds. It looks like one of those horror movies where someone takes a plastic bag and slips over someone's face and you see someone breathing and they're sort of just plastic over their mouth and there's a little bit of condensation but it's like going in and out a little bit. I think it's like putting a wi-ness around all that skin, or putting a rubber band around your wi-ness which is all that skin of your elbow. It looks sort of like a job at a hut contemplating something on his side. Okay, I think that should end the Jill Zaren camel toe, it looks like. Speaking of a real house house of New York, do we talk last week about Ramona and the fact that Mario has been alleged to have impregnated a girl, a woman? No, we didn't talk about that. You put out some sort of crazy guy tweet that said, "He did not, he didn't do that." What? What? What would you have made it? It's like, whatever. I'm sorry, that's day class A, I'm sorry. You know what, my mother always told me to always make up my own gossip because you can never rely on a man to do it yourself and that's what I've done. I've made my own gossip and I'm here to tell you it's all gossip and day class A. Why are these people always attacking me? All these people, all the time, all they want to do is attack me. Why do they attack me? What do they want from me? Oh, no! What was that supposed to do with these people? He didn't impregnate a girl. Now did he date a girl? Did he put his penis in a girl? I don't know. I'm not around him 24 hours a day. Is that what I'm supposed to do? Am I a bank security guard now? No, I'm a working woman. I'm a very busy woman. I don't have time to look at him all day long. See what he's doing. I can tell you this, there's no baby. I'm not paying for a baby. If there was a baby, I'd be paying for the baby. What does America want me to do? Do you want me to play with a banner? Want me to play with a banner saying, "Thank you America, thank you America for flying down here to the Virgin Islands and delivering this terrible gossip? America, I'm sorry. No, I'm sorry. That's not what I'm going to do. I know, and I'm not a drunk. I like to have my wine. What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to do? Make a banner? Make a banner that says, "Welcome to the baby." Hey, hey. Welcome. Welcome to this baby that's not mine that I'm going to have to care for for the rest of my life. Here's a banner. Here's a party. Here's a parade for the baby that's not mine. You know who has a baby? Luan. Because she's a slut. I wish it Mario. I wish it Mario did have a baby so that I could show it to Luan and say, "Ha ha. My husband could have a baby and you couldn't because you're drier than the river." I can't think of the drive river. Damn geography ruined it all. You know what? I'm sorry. I don't know geography. Like, I'm sorry. I'm just, you know. What I do know is I know fashion. I've been doing this for 20 years. And you have to put all your logos on the right in a big font. And I'm sorry. That's just the way it is. And if you don't do it that way, it's day classic. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Hopefully someone will be teaching geography. Next time I'm with the learning annex, they'll be right after me. And I can just stay a little bit longer drinking a little Ramona Pino and listen to things about geography. And then I'll know about geography. But right now I don't. All I know is that Mario didn't get anybody pregnant and there's no baby that looks like Mario in any teenager. And Luan's a slut. I'm sorry I'm on it. I'm on it. It's a slut. It's okay. So that's what that happened. Oh, what happens? Um, newlyweds is back. Well, do you believe it? Do you think that he did impregnate somebody? Oh, yeah. For sure. Totally right. Listen, you don't hock all that religious jewelry without being totally unfaithful. True. Yeah. Like the only reason why people make religious jewelry is to make up for the fact they are sinning left and right. Yeah. Amen, brother. I never got a blowjob. I still to this day have not had a blowjob as good as they were in Catholic school. Yeah. I never went to Catholic school. Well, you missed it. But I imagine it was just a wonderful cocktail of saliva and guilt. Well, my best friend was Jewish and went to Catholic school with me. And I had to go to synagogue with him and trust me, the blowjobs were better at Catholic school. Oh, yeah. I can see that. Your people better at business though. Well, I feel like, uh, I feel like the synagogue blowjobs are all like Woody Allen. Like, all right. So you want, you know, so you want me to take this, uh, take it in. I'll take it. Y'all put it in my mouth. All right. I was like, you want to suck it a little bit. And when I was doing it right, is this how you like it? I don't know. I'm bored with this. This could be better. Sure. I'll put it in my mouth. Wonderful. I'll put it in there. Like, well, you, I'm not, I don't want to gag. I'm going to want to set up my say, "Aka." You know, I'm slowly veering into my own. It's gluten free because this could, this could seriously mess with my celiac disease. You know, I got to speak to my analysts about this. I have dreams of, of phalluses coming towards my mouth every day. And I think of my mother and my mother saying, don't do that. You're supposed to have your monster ball soap. Sorry. I was like a regis, Philbin does Woody Allen, personation, I've never actually done a Woody Allen, personation, which is odd. I think it just goes, "Sure, sure." It's because you've already got so many uncles like that. My uncles are actually very much not, like Woody Allen, but they're like, like a different breed of Jewish. It's hard to describe. I saw this chart that was like, "Here's the different kinds of Jewish guys." And it was, you know, like famous characters. There was Woody Allen. There was Kevia. Yeah. That was Michael's right there. Kevia. It was like Rick Moranis from whatever, you know, and it just kind of lined him up. And I was like, "Wow, that's not very flattering." But you know what? To make up for it, I have to watch the Shazza sunset commercial. And I'm offended by that, and I'm not even Iranian. So there you go. Thanks. Now, why are you offended by it? Because there's brown people looking stupid. I don't know. I feel like brown people should make more of an effort. I don't know. Look at me. Look at me. Brown people, too. Yeah. That shows bad for like Lebanese people, even though none of them are Lebanese. And it's also bad for fat people. So that so offends me on multi-levels. Yeah. It's like the Middle Eastern version of Veruca Salt. Isn't that Veruca? Veruca Salt who got all pudgy or is that violet in whatever? I can't even-- Violet. So, Charlotte, you turn it violet violet. That's right. Charlie O'Chalka Factory. Yeah. It'll be, what's the name of the main guy, Reza, and the Pomegranate Factory. Yeah. Yeah. You know how there's that thing? I remember in the Orange County 100th episode when they were saying, "How has this changed your life?" And Vicki was like, "Well, I remember after season one everyone went on a diet because, you know, you see yourself on TV." And then everyone's talking about how they got skinny. And I was like, "Yeah, somehow that does not work for the Shah's of Sunset cast. This is not how it works." They still remain the only cast that has actually had a gigantic buffet of food in front of him during a reunion and a buffet in which they all picked at it the entire time and got dry cookie all over their blouses. Yeah. The only change they make, Reza's like, "I'm going to comb my mustache. She shows about to start." And Mercedes is just like going to get better hair for a day. That's it. And Reza's like, "Oh, you know what, I got myself a new Kingdom shirt to go with my diagonal Kingdom tie. Homegirl. Homegirl better put that on me right now. I'm going to put it on right now." I don't know what I'm saying. Listen. We don't have to yet because that shows not back for another couple of weeks. I know. My Reza's rusty too. You know, all my impersonations are just really sucking today. Did you hear my Neenie earlier? Ugh, it was awful. I can't do a Neenie. No one can do a Neenie except for Neenie. Yeah, a Neenie's bloop. Yeah. You can just make noises. You just sound like you're like a reject from the gods. It must be crazy. Just make a lot of noises. Yeah. Okay. So I think that pretty much ends up our gossip for the day. Does it? Or does it not? Let's just finish it up. I mean, let's end it. Okay. Thank you guys for listening. We're out of here. Bye. All right. So I watched three Bravo shows this week. I watched Real House House of Miami, New Jersey, and I watched Top Chef. Which one do you want to start with? Um, well, that completely left out all the Bravo shows that I possibly watch this week. Which, you know, if I watch a lot of shows that I don't get to talk about on this podcast, it pisses me off because that's a lot of my time. Because those are the shows that we watched last week, so that's why I watched them again this week. No, none of them. I didn't. I was just, I was just saying I would have been mad if I had watched those shows. But I didn't. You didn't watch. Oh, no. I watched Top Chef. I watched. No, I watched all those shows. I'm just saying I didn't watch any like other shows off the beaten path. I was just throwing attitude because I could for a second. Oh. Oh, because Matt's not here. Yeah. I was being a diva. It's like a big black hole of diva diva that's gone without you, Matt. I know, Matt. Um, so, well, wait, did you watch the people's couch this week because I forgot to watch it? No, I didn't. And then I, uh, that's me and you. We were talking to those guys on Twitter the other day and that was fun. The games. Only the games. You only talk to the gays. Yeah. They were super nice because I guess they listened to the show and heard us being mean about them. But we weren't actually being mean about them. We were actually being. Yeah. I think that's sort of our charm, you know, yeah, we called them pretty. So they were okay with it. So yeah, I support them. Holy. I wish them the best. Still didn't watch it though. I just forgot to. It wasn't out of any boycott or animosity. Yeah. Me too. You know, here's the thing, like we're in a weird situation in the TV landscape because it's fall and in the summer, I'll watch whatever bubble shit they put out. I mean, even knew Atlanta was watching and I hated that show. But now it's fall. I mean, just on Sunday night alone, there's nine hours of TV that I watch. I have to spread that out. And so, you know, shows like about people sitting around watching TV really to me aren't as attractive as the good wife. Yeah. That being said, I still feel very committed to doing the people's couch couch, which I think we should do maybe sometime this week if we can better hurry because they've only got three there next one is Sunday. So we've got to get together. I wonder how it's doing in the ratings. I don't know. Matt's not here. Again, a giant hole of nothing without Matt. Big hole. For those of you who are listening to this podcast for the first time, hi, welcome. We really are the subnautious and we usually have a third and his name is Matthew and Matthew is our little, our sweet little pill. Yeah. He's our jagged little pill. Yeah. He's our jagged little pill. And he's been ditching us the past couple of weeks. I'm not really sure why, but I think he's breaking up with us and we're just going to see how that plays out. I think he's going all the Caroline Manzo on us. Yeah. But with less ham and with less and with less spin off. Yeah, Matt, don't quit your day job until you get a spin off. Haven't you learned that? Yeah. So, so let's go on to Real House as a Miami because that was on most, that was the most recent thing we want. That was last night. So, um, uh, this week's episode was the much hyped first wedding of the season, which was Adriana's Adriana's ridiculous affair. I was furious. This episode made me so, so, so mad. And the reason why is because Adriana is such a fucking prima donna bitch. How could you do that to your guests? You can't, she is. Okay. Here's a, here's, here's the nitty gritty of it. Lay it. Look at that. Here we go. Here we go. First of all, she has the, um, the audacity to make her guests have a costume change. They have to bring two different outfits, one, a white fit for the reception, one, a Gatsby outfit for, I'm sorry, for the ceremony was white, Gatsby for the reception. Okay. That's really, really annoying. Especially because there's nowhere for people to change, et cetera, et cetera. Okay. Fine. And there's also like two hours in between. So there's not enough time really to get to your hotel and get back, whatever. Really annoying. She shows up to her own wedding, you know, the wedding I think was supposed to start at five and right back man over there. What's going on over there? Oh yeah. Uh, there's a construction site across the way and, uh, there here comes a helicopter too. I live in a war zone and so what happens is there's a lot of building and then destroying. Yeah. Ben's doing this from Iraq. This is actually an army helicopter. I'm not even joking. So, you know, I've seen those over the city lately. What the fuck is with that? These big giant army helicopters? I don't know. You know my hobby is reading conspiracy websites. So I'm like, Oh my God, FEMA camp. Here we go. Here we go. FEMA camp. Oh, okay. So I'm sorry. Go ahead. Okay. So, okay. Her ceremony was supposed to be in at five, I believe. And I think she didn't walk down the aisle until around six thirties or so somewhere around there. Or maybe it was six and she didn't walk down until seven thirty. She made her guess weight in the church for an hour and a half. I don't know if you've ever been through a wedding and when it's like a minute late, I'm already getting answered. You're sitting in an uncomfortable pew that church looked hot and humid. I was furious just at that alone. That alone got me mad. I mean, how'd you? Oh, yeah. That is some, that is some rude bullshit. And you know what? People need to understand. And this is to all the people who haven't been married yet, but who probably will get married one day. You're not doing me a favor by inviting me to your wedding. I'm doing you a favor by coming. I'm looking decent. I've hopefully brought you some gifts, which, you know, I mean, with me, you cannot always count on that. I'm not going to lie. I've spent money on a plane ticket, perhaps. Yes. I'm taking time out of my, I could be in bed at the very least. I could be in bed right now, like looking at sexy pictures of boys. I'm here for you. You are not doing me a favor by making me sit through this hot, sweaty bullshit, wearing some white suit because who has a white suit. So I just had to go to the fucking mental warehouse, like rental department to get this ugly ass suit for you. And then you show up an hour and a half late and there's no gay people here except me. I mean, who the hell am I supposed to talk to? Yeah, that was infuriating. And she shows up in a big wedding dress, which, you know, I like the look of it, but I have to say the gray, I thought it looked like she had just been rolling around in some ashes. That looked like the, that looked like dirty swan. It's like the sequel to black swan. Black swan was so evil and crazy that they can't do that again. So it's just like mediocre. And it's just like, yeah, gray swan, dirty swan. Yeah, great gardens. I'll see it really on her swan. It looks like my feet after I walk around to my balcony, just gray and city and disgusting. And I need to wash it off. It looked like a really bad costume for the, the ghost in Fiddler on the Roof. It looked like it was made out of pigeon feathers. Yeah, that was really stupid, really ugly. And then she was having a fit about her, her veil. And so she ripped it up. Yeah. I mean, she said no shit. She wasn't her standards. That's not, that's not my standards. I told you what I wanted 25 times and I have to do everything by myself and so I have to do everything. No, I have to be the stylist for stylist for son. I have to be the stylist. She was, Adriana is just an awful fucking seaward and you know, it says a lot about a person when their own family doesn't come to the wedding. Like I get that her mom's, her dad's dead. Okay. So he has an excuse and you know that he's up and having grateful for that. Like thank God, Lord took me when I did because I didn't have to endure this shit. Her mom didn't show up. Her sisters, only one of her sisters showed up. The other one didn't show up because she had kids. Who doesn't fly to their sister's wedding because they have kids. She didn't show up because you're a bitch. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. She really glossed over that. But you know that there's more than meets the eye. The sister that was there barely even spoke. And she was also Adriana pre-surgery and it was like, why couldn't you have just been happy with that? You probably were nicer. Listen, when you, when you are someone who has a best friend that you've just basically, you haven't even invited to your own wedding and then almost on your mom's not there and your sister and your nieces and nephews, you know there's a story. You know that Leah is not the only one who has born the brunt of, of her craziness in this, in this situation. Although I say, boy, the brunt is if Leah is actually getting hurt by this. I think Leah wound up on the winning side of the situation because she got to eat a meal at a decent hour. Well, actually now that we brought her up, I don't think that she's really getting the good side because those girls, I mean, that Cuban gang, they do not fucking stop, man. So this week, there's this, this is something we skipped over in the gossip because it was far down by now. But this week, did you see that video that they're sending around? Some queen is over at Leah's house here in LA. It's Ariana Grande's brother Frankie. He's at Leah's house in LA doing an impression of Mama Elsa. He's holding his, his phone with one hand and he's like making his cheek steady with the other hand and he's doing a terrible impersonation. It wasn't even funny. And you can hear Leah in the background going, so you know it's Leah. So the headline is, is Leah making fun of Mama Elsa's after her stroke? No. Okay. Yes. They're doing an impression, an impersonation of Mama Elsa, but why is it after her stroke? She's never been able to move her face like, exactly. That's not nice. I mean, it's obviously not this guy making fun of a stroke. They say nothing about a stroke. He's trying to make his face still because that's how she's always looked. People, come on. I mean, I thought maybe he made a mention of the stroke, but you know, even if he did, I'm sorry. Like, yeah, it probably is important that there was, if there was, I think he did, but if he did, you almost correct me, I'm sure, and I don't sweat. You know, I have to say, in this case, and I'm not standing up for Leah again, because we know her, but I'm, you know, the thing is, people are making, if you're making an impersonation of someone, you know, somebody who's like, yeah, I mean, Mama Elsa is like a character. She's over the top. She's crazy. She's silly. I think it's okay to make an impersonation for, I think it's okay to laugh when your friend does it. You know, I'm sorry. I mean, unless it's like, you know, money's all clean up my being because my stroke, like it's not bad. He was just all my beyond. Now, I will say that Leah's lying about it. Yes. I totally. That's not cool. She's totally lying about it. Leah, it's your house, it's obviously your house. Like, you've shown your house, you've shown it in that, you've shown it on the show, and you showed it in that video that Amy Phillips did with you in your house, it's obviously your house. Yeah. And it's obviously you laughing nobody laughs like a broken fan belt on an old Corvette. It's you. Stop it. I know, Leah. Just own it and be like, I was laughing, I wasn't laughing that she had a stroke. I was laughing because this kid was being funny. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. It's okay for someone to be funny. It's okay for someone to do an impersonation, you know, that's, that's what Elsa is there for. That's why she's on this show because she's funny. Yeah. And it's funny to make fun of her too. Not even make fun. It's an impersonation. Yeah, of course you have to. We do it all the damn time. I'm not going to apologize. It's like, well, you have to stop doing impersonations of people just because they've had strokes. I mean, what the hell? Yeah. We're not making, and you're not making fun of the stroke. You're not making fun of the stroke part. She always talked like that as you mentioned. Yeah. Okay. So anyway, I just wanted to bring that up because we forgot at the beginning and that was pretty juicy for the week, but I was just like a lot of people. Nevertheless, getting back to the wedding. So the ceremony happens, Adriana gets remarried or married, I don't know, religiously married. And then it's off back to the wedding suite where the bridal suite where she has to change for her Gatsby look. And she spends like two and a half hours getting into this stupid outfit. Point is this. The reception was supposed to start at nine, I believe. Well, the wedding was supposed to start at six. Yeah. What it was supposed to. Okay. Wedding was at six then. So then the reception would be immediately after if they don't have it. No, no, no, no. They had a break. They had a break so people could change. So the reception starts to start at nine. She didn't get down there until 1045. These poor people have not eaten dinner. They're sitting around waiting. They didn't look like there was any sort of entertainment. There was a harp, Adrian was like, well, they play the music. The harp's playing. The harp's playing the harp. Don't people like the harp? Don't they like the harp? How many songs do you think is in the harpist repertoire, bitch, please? I know. How many? How many songs are orchestrated for the harp? How many times can you hear a harp version of "Ode to Joy"? It's like, wait a second. Is this wrecking ball? They're getting desperate. So I would have been furious if I were there. I'm glad when I found out that I guess we're leaving. And I would have been also doubly furious that I had to buy a stupid gatsby outfit and then had to sit there forever. It didn't look like there was any sort of cocktail hour going on. I didn't see any pass or derves. And if there were some, it was way long after-- No, there was no food. I don't think there were even that many drinks down. I didn't even see anybody drinking. They're sitting around-- And it's not that many people. It's just one long table. And everybody's exhausted already from this fucking wedding. Nobody had great gatsby clothes anyway. So I don't know what the hell those people were dressed for. They were like, OK, well, let's change into a party dress. Yeah, that's not great gatsby. And then she took forever to get down. And then when she did get down, everyone was exhausted. And some people had left. When I love that, Alexis is like, well, you know, we're land. And that's part of our culture is to be late. That's like our thing. And it's like, OK, I've heard about that. I've heard of, quote unquote, CPT or CP time, I'm sorry. You know, that's not Latino time. That's color people's time. I was just about to say-- I'm not saying a part of these things. I don't think that's something you should either be like proud of or relying on or just saying or hoping that it just gives you a free pass. You know, there's nothing in your DNA that makes you inherently late to anything. OK, you know, kidding. How about being proud of like adding salt to caramel? Because that was a brilliant idea. Yeah, that's a good one. That's a good one. Yeah, but just like being late all the time, that's not good. Not a good one. Yeah, that's not good. If someone says, oh, well, it's our culture, I'm like, that would actually make me angry. That would make me racist, in fact. I'd be like, I hate Latinos or I was late. That's what would happen if that happened to me. Yeah. Yeah, rude people are fucking late. Period. So she shows up. And then so at 1045, and then Lenny has just about had it at that point. Lenny decides he's going to leave this wedding. And Lisa's like, no, stay, stay. I think Lenny should have left. He ultimately didn't. He stayed with Lisa. Well, of course you have to stay. Your wife has to stay. And he's looking at it like it's work. So she has to stay because she's shooting the show. So she has to be there. He doesn't have to be there. And he needs to go for his work. And why is her work more important? You know, I mean, that stuff was unsaid, but that's what I was getting from it. Listen, fucker, don't marry someone half your age if you can't stay at past 10. OK. That's true, too. And the truth is also, I mean-- But you know, then, on the other hand, for her, don't marry a senior citizen if you want someone out past 10. That's true, too. To be fair, the reception was supposed to start at 9, which means you know you're going to be up till 12 or 1. But still, I mean, forcing people to wait around for that long, twice in one day, I would never be friends with her again. I would never attend any function that she is hosting. Yeah. And it's not like it was something awesome. If it was some party where it's like, hey, everybody, come down. The bed is playing. The food is-- you know, the food is flowing. The drinks are down your gullet, fun. But it wasn't. It's like, let's just stand around and wait for this bitch, with nothing else to do. It was just like a stuffy, uncomfortable affair. Frederick's poor parents looked so unamused by all of this. No one was amused. The only people who stayed were the fame hungry horse, who thought they were going to be on TV. Absolutely. That was the worst. She's the worst. OK, so the rest of that episode, what else happened? Nothing. Nothing happened. Well, there was stuff with Lisa and Maddie Soul and Alexia, but yeah, basically nothing happened. Well, it's these people who weren't even friends and real wife trying to hang out together. And Alexia is like, well, I came to hang out with you, because I never get to hang out with all of you people. Yeah, because they never hang out, first of all. Oh, yeah, that's why they went to the beach with-- like, well, you know, what we do is just cut up and have fun. I was like, oh, my god. What is this, the little rascals? We're going to go down and get some milkshakes. That's Eddie's. How fun is that? We're going to steal the apple from the teacher's desk. Oh, we're cut out. That's all we want to do is laugh. And then, of course, Alexia, who has nothing except drug addict children and momma also want to be moms, has a storyline. It's like, oh, well, what about the way that you were to Marisol at the party? Oh, my god. I love the way-- I love how all of your like-seeing impersonations start going, oh, well, how about you know how that happens? Oh, well, you know, like, Marisol was really hurt. And how could you not say something? I think that's all-- I'm not trying to get into it. But she's actually just like a shade away from being German. And she's like, oh, how do you say that? Yeah, I'm Alexia. No, don't start doing that, because then the German's going to creep in. I won't be able to talk at all. Sit down, shut up, or do no Alexia a personation. But you know, Frankie, I'm so worried about Frankie. Oh, well, you know. Oh, well, you know. She's sort of like Midwestern German Latina. Oh, well, you know, Peter, you know, I always love Peter. I always say he's like his dad and dad is a loser. I never thought that he would think that he's a loser, too. Oh, well, you know. Now, I think this is a good time to interrupt our regular podcast for random thoughts about Real Housewives of Vancouver that Ben's not watching. So I just watched episode seven, Ben. And it has gotten so bad. Ronnie and Jody are just total bitches to poor little Mary. And they went up to Ronnie's birthday party. Jody and her evil daughter, what's your face, went up to a sweet, innocent Mary at a birthday party. And for no reason said, so what's with the tummy tuck? You're 50. And that's what's happening on the Real Housewives of Vancouver. Thank you. Wait, isn't 50 the time when you're supposed to get a tummy tuck? Yeah, I don't tell her stuff. They're just horrible. At least these women try and have an excuse, like on Miami or our versions of the shows. They at least try and have something that they're mad about all year. This, they don't. They're just horrible to be horrible. Yeah, it's actually kind of liberating in a way. Because these fake storylines, I don't know what's worse, just like being mean to someone for no reason or coming up with a bad reason to be mean to somebody. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. But either way, this shows losing. Miami, you're losing. Do something, Miami. Do something. I just want to grab you by the shoulders and shake you. Fix something. Fix it, because I don't care if anything else happened. I'm done talking about that show. Yeah, well, why don't we move on to-- speaking of Dunzil, why don't we move on to our other cut of the week, New Jersey? Yes, this is that time right before the caterpillar either dies on the tree or blossoms into a beautiful butterfly. And that possible butterfly is real housewise of Beverly Hills and the shots of sunset. Yes. And Vanderpump rules. So it's more of a moth than a butterfly. Yes, like a moth or fly. We're going to be an author. It's mothra. It's going to destroy us. Yeah, it's going to fly. And we're going to watch it fly. But I'm going to be beating my head against a light. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, Jersey is over. Thank you, Jesus. I know I only say that when it's Christmas time. And I want something. Or when you've ended a housewife season. But thank you, Jesus. I can't remember a single thing from Sunday night's episode. Joe and Teresa, Melissa, sitting there with a sour face. Blaming Teresa for everything that's ever happened in her life. Ben, let's talk about article. I just moved into a new house. And it is really hard to find quality furniture that honestly I can afford without feeling terribly guilty. I found the most beautiful stuff on article. I got three bar stools for this bar I built. 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And article's knowledgeable customer care team is there when you need them to make sure your experience is smooth and stress-free. Article is offering our listeners $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. To claim, visit article.com/crapins. And the discount will be automatically applied at checkout. That's article.com/crapins for $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. This episode is sponsored by DoorDash. We're back to tell you more about the latest dash pass annual plan benefit, stream max with ads included at no extra cost. You know what's a great night for us? Ordering DoorDash and cuddling up to watch the max original hacks. Which won best comedy, deservedly so. And we love tuning in to see not only icon Gene Smart, but the wonderful and incomparable Rose Abdu who also is a huge Bravo fan. Listen, I'm always in the mood for hacks, but you never know what kind of food I'm in the mood for. Sometimes it's pizza, sometimes it's a salad, and I can get both with DoorDash. How about some ice cream? That's what I like to eat with my hacks. 100% I will double dash. I will get a salad and then double dash some ice cream. Why not? Sign up for a dash pass annual plan and get max included at no extra cost. It's your door to more. Max is now included with your dash pass annual plan. Stream max with ads up to $120 value included at no extra cost. Terms apply, see door dash dot com slash max for details. - I think the only interesting thing was when they were talking about Joe going to jail. I think, I think, I seem to remember being fascinated by that. - Andy Cohen. You know, Andy Cohen. Like I get that part of his job is that he thinks he's Barbara Walters and he's doing something important for the world. I get it, but you're not. And going at somebody like that relentlessly like that is pointless because it's not the news. You've already had to sit down half hour with them and pestered them obnoxiously through that. Now you're going to do it again. And I like how the Italians, like they beat each other up all season and say the most horrible things about each other. And then they turn around and it's like, oh well, let's cry because they're going to go to jail because that's like every Italian, if you go to jail, you're forgiven for everything. Everyone has to respect you because jails are a respectable thing in that community apparently. Or when your husband's cheating on you, you're not allowed, you know, you have to feel respect, you have to be respectful of someone's husband is cheating on them too, 'cause that apparently always happens too. And that was basically the episode. Like everyone was started going at it, but then Caroline would throw up like my husband was possibly cheating so people would get nice to her. And then Teresa, if they started getting too mean, it's like, well, I'm going to go to jail. And then they're like, oh, I don't want to, I have no comment, I hope she's okay. - Yeah, it was, it was honestly like a waste of an hour. I mean, I'm sitting here trying to remember specific moments. I remember there was something where Caroline went on a rant and then I think Andy was like, oh, okay, I get it now. I forgot what it was, but it was stupid. - I think it was, oh God, what was that? Caroline's rant, like you know you've got her when she starts without ranting, and like you know you've got her in a bad place. - Was it about Dina? - No. - Oh no, no, no, it was, it was about, I know what it was. She was talking about her father-in-law being killed, and she was saying how, she doesn't know why it was, but like every time people ask her about it, it takes her back to that night when she had to find out and her husband was so upset and blah, blah, blah, and she just wants to move forward and that's why she doesn't want to talk about it because it really, really hurts. - Oh yeah, that was pretty funny. She's like, yeah, I don't know, you know, how do you think it was, when I get a call at 4.30 in the morning, the police are there, and I had to wake up my husband and tell him, and then he had to go out and buy flowers for his wife 'cause it was my birthday. How do you think that bounced? - Caroline, you're the one who married into the fucking mob, like how about you feel for all the people your family's killed, or whatever's happened? - It's not like the mob runs Walmart's, or runs like these sweet little family stores that just give people jobs. Like if you're a mob connected bitch, you've heard a lot of people, like I'm not gonna sit here and feel sorry that your birthday was ruined, you dumb bitch. Like seriously? - Shut up, Caroline, get out of here. - Shut up, shut up, Caroline. - Oh, and then her other big thing, yeah, was about how her husband's cheating, and Andy won't let it go, which is hilarious. - Yes. - And she's like, the reason I won't say anything is because nothing happened. Can you name the girl? - Well, yes, apparently. According to stupidhousewives.com, her name is Jill, and your husband's been banging her for five years, so. - Jill's Aaron? - No, that's what I said too. So that's the most horrifying. No wonder she has three vaginas. (laughing) - One for each kid. - Yes. - One for each terrible penis that comes crawling her way. - I know. So, I'd like to say there was a thing where Rosie kissed everyone on the cheek, so there was that. I guess she felt empowered after talking with a horse. So, that's good for Rosie. - Oh, I'm reading the Facebook. What do you guys want to talk about today's section? And Chute says, "I would like to know "if any of the housewives are trans-vaginal mesh victims, "it's become an epidemic." What is vaginal mesh? - I don't know, I see commercials for it late at night, like for class action lawsuits, and it makes me scared. I think at once I actually saw a Dr. 90210, like the one episode I saw, someone was getting it, I think you put it in there to secure things up or something like that. I don't know, I don't know. I don't want to know what trans-vaginal is a very scary term to me. - It is, like is it a tranny badge? Like where it's not a real badge? It's like a... - No, this is something that women get. They get it, I don't know. - Mesh. - I don't get it. - I don't know, I always think of like keeping mosquitoes out. - Yeah, I think of like a little screen door on the vagina. Like I think of like summer, and I think of cookouts, and I think of like opening the glass door, so that way you can get a reason of vagina, but you don't want the bugs to come into. - Yes, exactly. - It's like, is there a hole in the trans-vaginal mesh? - Yes, I may have three vagina slits, but none of them have mosquito bites on them. Thanks, trans-vaginal mesh. - And great news, if you saw Shark Tank this week, you know there's a great new product on the market that patches up holes in the mesh. I'd like to see him mark you've been being like, now tell me about this, mesh patch thing. Does it work with trans-vaginal mesh too? We're just screen doors. - I don't know how old I'm going to need to get for vagina to stop being funny to me. - It will never be. - It will never stop. - The vagina will never stop being funny. At the end of the day, we are still men, and men are still boys, and we laugh about things like farts and vaginas and penises. - Oh, don't even get me started on vagina farts. We'll be here giggling all day. - Jesus Robert Garza says that we should discuss the topic of him. - Okay, well, we already talked about trans-vaginal meshes. - Ow, didn't done this. - No, I'm just kidding. I just took an easy joke there for you. Nothing to do with you, Jesus. - Okay, so let's see here. Okay, what else happened on Jersey? I love how it ended because it ended, you know that spot where every reunion ends, where Andy's like, "Well, what did you learn this year?" And Caroline, you know, like last year, was like, "Well, I learned not to be a horrible person, or people would be mean to me on Twitter." And like they go around in a circle and hug. And this time, it was like, okay, well, here we are at the end, and Teresa's like, "Well, Caroline was mean to me on her blog." - Yeah, yeah, I thought it was actually such a strange ending of the reunion because there was like the sudden moment of tension where Caroline was like, "You just threw out an entire what we just sat here for. You just threw it all out the window. You did everything I've done for your family." What have you done for her family? All you've done is talk, sit, manipulate, even let your kids fucking diss them and call them retarded on national television. Fuck off, you've done nothing for nobody but yourself, woman. - I love how it's just this tense moment. Caroline is railing against Teresa, saying that she doesn't think Teresa has a good heart. And Teresa's saying, "Well, yeah, I'm just saying how I feel. I'm just saying how I feel." And then Andy's like, "Okay, well, thanks everyone, bye." (both laugh) Probably they have some sort of stupid champagne toast, which is always-- - Awkward Andy. - You know, the champagne toast is the most hilarious thing because these women fight for three hours and then they're given champagne and supposed to act like they're somehow, they're still family through it all. - Oh, God, and those shooting days are supposedly like 10 hours long. I mean, they're all fucking day. But yeah, I think that they ended it there because it ended with Caroline saying, "Forget it, I'm done. I'm done." And I think that that was why they chose it because it was basically her supposedly quitting, which makes no sense, but anyway, I'm drawing squares. - 'Cause I hear the-- - You do? - Yeah, you're doing it right now. - Yes, I'm drawing squares and hearts, I don't know why. - So over in my world, I have construction in mayhem and over in your world, you have doodles. - Yeah. - I have squares and hearts. - It sounds good. - And I draw mazes. - Oh, I love drawing mazes. - Yeah, I used to do that as a kid, by the way. - But what's that? Like a lot of penises leading you in different directions? - Corn maze, not a porn maze. - Oh, what was that like? - So fun. Anyway, let's move on to Top Chef. - Yay! - Yay! - Yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay. - That was originally gonna be the sound of a knife slicing, but that became what I like to say. - Yum! - It was the sound of something going into the fryer. - Psh, psh, psh, yum! - Are we gonna have to see all sound effects? In fact, our special guest this week is the guy from Police Academy. Please welcome the sound effects guy. (mimics sound effect) - Yum! (laughs) - Hey, that's Nini. Anyway, I'm still really enjoying the season of Top Chef. And this week they had to, what would you remember what the quick fryer was? - Well, we're gonna have to do something about the fact that Top Chef is a week ago, when we record this, because-- - Yeah. - That's so long ago, and I don't remember what the hell happened on that show. - I remember, I remember broad strokes. They had to do a habitat for humanity challenge, where they were rebuilding certain houses. - Oh yeah, they had to do a lunch truck thing. - They do lunch trucks, they were in four groups, and someone, oh, like the little lesbian girl, she won both the quick fire and-- - She's not a lesbian, they showed her husband. I mean, now, to be fair, he looks like a big hairy lesbian, so I can see how you'd be confused. - I just naturally assume on this show that any woman is a lesbian. So, you know what it was, the quick fire, they had that-- - It's because chefs have to be sexless, because it's such a rough kitchen. They have to like, come looking like boys. That girl looks like Peter Pan, who just stopped going to the gym for a while. - She sort of looks like the kid from Dick Tracy, the 1990 version, Charlie. - But she had a good memory. Of course, I'm talking about Sandy Duncan, so maybe you might as better. Or is it Sandy Dennis? - She honestly looks like a mixture of both. - Yeah. - I think you're thinking of Sandy Dennis. Sandy Duncan, I think, is an Oscar winner. Sandy Dennis was in Valerie's family. And then Hogan's family. Anywho, so-- - They're trying to see quick fire. - The quick fire was that they had to make gumbo. And they had to make gumbo, and they had to serve it to a woman whose name I forget, but she was like this 93-year-old black lady who was great. And it was a really fun quick fire. - It's like a gumbo. Oh yeah, that was right, and she's lying. - Well, I was gonna retire. I was gonna retire 97, and then Katrina came. And now I'm working. Thanks for the gumbo. - Thank you, poor thing, Jesus. How about we just donate, everybody donate $5 in that lady's bucket, and let her go home. Jesus Christ, it's 9 to 5. And hey, while we're at it, what the hell is up with New Orleans? Okay, I have to ask this, and people don't get offended. Just answer my damn question, all right? - Yes. - What the hell happened after Katrina? Didn't they get billions of dollars of government funding? Where'd that money go, and where are they still rebuilding the same street that I've seen on TLC for like five years? - What's happening over there? - Well, because they did get a lot of money, but it's a big city, you know? Like, that's not like it covers everything. Things are still rebuilding. - Where'd that damn money go? - That being said, there's still so much Katrina talk. I mean, which is crazy nine years later that there's so much Katrina talk, but. - Well, what about that big giant wave? What are those called? - Tidal wave tsunami. - Yeah, what about that tsunami that killed like half a million people or whatever? - They're not still rebuilding, they probably just made it a beachfront. - Well, I kind of feel like Katrina. This is going to be maybe me being overly cynical, but I feel like New Orleans, the story of New Orleans is becoming about Katrina. And as much as they say, we're rebuilding, we're vibran, we're bouncing back. It's like, and yet they tried out the Katrina stuff all the time. You know, the story of New York is not 9/11. You know, that's something that happened, and New York has 100% rebalance and almost done building this fantastic new tower. And there's this great ground zero memorial, but it's not the story of New York City. And I feel like. - Well, yeah, New York was more isolated because that was downtown. So they had to rebuild downtown, but you know how that kind of goes into a point almost, where it's almost like that's an isolated thing. And thank God, it wasn't in the middle of town. It was downtown, so you could avoid it. I lived there at that time. You didn't have to be there. Katrina, it's like the whole city. Like, I guess it took down the whole city. I'm just, I'm not even saying it to be a dick. I'm just curious, like, why, what the hell's going on? Is it government? - It wasn't the city. It wasn't just the city. It was, I mean, it was like. - Basts, you know, miles and miles and miles of houses. I mean, there was like outside of the city too. - Okay, yeah, I guess it was that whole region. Because I hear things about it, like people say the government's so corrupt and they took that, you know, the local government's or whatever, took that money and they're living big on it while the poor people are like. - Probably, you know. - I don't think Louisiana government is known for being, local Louisiana government is known for being like the most wholesome, proper government, you know? I don't think New Orleans does not have a reputation for a lack of corruptness. - Yeah, okay. Well, I'm just curious because I'm like, damn, I mean, they're still rebuilding houses. Jesus, these kids who were building the houses were like toddlers when it happened. You know that they're like, mom and dad, can we just move, can we just go somewhere else? So great, thanks. - Yeah, no, it's crazy, it actually is crazy. And despite my cynical rant about the story of New Orleans, I mean, it's still, it's crazy that these houses still need to be rebuilt, so. - Yeah, yeah, I'm not saying they shouldn't. I'm just, it was just a side note because I'm curious that I was shocked that it was still that bad over there. - Yeah, it was shocking. But also shocking was that the hot guy was eliminated. And I thought for sure he was gonna be around a little bit longer, not 'cause he's a good chef, but because he's hot and he's an asshole. So I thought he'd be a good TV. - I was actually shocked that he was gone too. And I can't believe they let that girl who's like been in the bottom every challenge so far, even the quick fires got to stay. Why would they keep her and get rid of the hot guy? I don't get it. - It sounded like the hot guy's only mistake was that he made his roles too soon. And so they were like a little chewy instead of crunchy, but I didn't think that was a fireable offense. But then again, they did say the girl, they said her food was like okay and had it been like a different group of people, she'd been right in the middle of the pack, but. - I think sometimes, I think another thing that differentiates Top Chef from other reality shows is that it's not shallow like the other shows. I think that actually being hot might work against you on Top Chef because chefs are generally not hot. And I think that everybody hates the hot ones. Like I noticed that Curtis, no one likes him. When he guest stars or whatever, no one gives him any respect. - All these worsts. - And they shouldn't, he's terrible. But he's not really even that hot. Like maybe he's Chef hot, I guess. Like in that role. - I don't think he's hot, to be honest. I think maybe at one point in his life, he was hot, but he's gotten like real soft around the edges. And he has like a big goofy muppet smile. - I think he just comes off as a total asshole to me. - Yeah. - He just doesn't seem like a warm, nice person at all. - Yeah. - But yeah, they still brought him on Top Chef. And I thought, you know, that's not fair. You cannot bring him on the real Top Chef. Leave him on Masters as a fucking Ryan C. Crass. Do not bring him over here, please. - Yeah. Well, the good news is that we have another hot guy on the show, but he's turning out to be a big idiot. He's the one who's like in Vermont or Massachusetts. I forget his name, but he's got glasses and black hair. And he was in the bottom this week also. And he's like a total space cadet? - No, I don't know who you're talking about. I'm gonna have to look him up. - He's like, he's cute, he's definitely cute. He's kind of dumb. - Padma Lakshmi, Gail. I know, I don't want to see Padma and Gail. Show me the damn cast, people. Hot guy with glasses. I think that the gay guy's pretty cute on it. There's like that little bloke. - Oh yeah, yeah, sure. - I think he's super cute. So cast an info, I'm gonna click on this here. Okay, Emeril, I still love Emeril for his terrible sitcom that only lasted like four episodes. So look at that. That's nice, that's nice of you. - Isn't it? - Okay, so are you talking about Brett Palagi, the guy? - Yeah, yeah, Brett, Brett Palagi. - Oh, I don't think he's hot. - Well, I thought he was hot. Let me look at this picture of him. I don't know where the picture was. - I think Nicholas Elmi is hot. - Oh, it's a bad picture of Brett. But I think he's hot with him. - There's someone named Nicholas Elmi that's really cute. And then the blonde guy Travis Mazar is pretty cute. But who knows, as long as they can cook well, right? That's all that really matters, right? - Yeah, I guess we'll see what happens this week. I don't know, I'm happy to have it back. I think it's so good. - Yeah, I love Top Chef. One of the thoughts I had while watching this week cracks me up when people on reality show us Pat themselves on the back for the dumbest things. Like, at least five of them said, "You know, it feels so great to be out here giving back." You know, I mean, my whole life is spent trying to give back to people. Listen, you're not giving back. You're doing some challenge out at a food truck. It's not like you're driving your food truck out there and actually giving back, okay? You have to be assigned there. You have to do this. You're not doing anybody any fucking favors but yourself. Stop patting yourself on the goddamn back. You fucking fame whore. Stop it. - Yeah, you're not giving back when people who have been working on building a house, like literally building a house, hammer a nail, then come to you and you sort them like a few veggies in some seaweed. Okay, that's not giving back. - Yeah, a floppy ass tuna roll in 103 degree weather. No. - Yeah, absolutely. - Those people wanted some wings. Is that too hard? - I know. - Wings and french fries. Is that too hard for you, people? I'll tell you one thing, it made me want to go back to hot and juicy crawfish. Remember when we went there? - Yes. I'm vegan now, so I'm not going to be ripping heads off any little animals anytime soon. - Wait, are you really vegan? I thought you were joking. I thought you were making some ridiculous jokes. - No, I've just been doing it for dietary reasons. I'm not really doing it because I'm too good to eat meat. I've just been doing it for a diet for a month now. - Oh, how's it going? - Well, it oddly changes your brain and you do feel better than everybody else because you feel like everyone else is a murderer and you're not. So I actually feel better than like 98% of you right now. I feel like a better person, so kiss my ass 'cause I'm a vegan and you're a horrible person and I care about animals in the rainforest. - That's great. - That's great. Good for you, Ronnie, but just say no, vegan food isn't necessarily mean it's healthier. - Oh, no, I'm doing like low-fat vegan, so it's terrible. - I mean, it's not terrible, I kind of got used to it. I'm eating a lot of potatoes. All the things that I'm terrified of the rest of the year, like potatoes and, well, I guess vegetables and rice. - More potatoes, yeah. - More potatoes. Yeah, I'm basically eating potatoes, polenta and rice. - Okay, and it works, but it works really slowly. - No, it's okay, please change the subject. - I was gonna say, I was gonna talk about all the unhealthy things I ate this weekend. This is what I ate this weekend, okay. Friday night for dinner, I had deep fried egg rolls. I had fried, and I had fried beef, and I had fried rice. - Fried beef. - Like it was beef that had been fried and then it's like served, it's like Angus Cohen. It's so good, it's called a Nothing Special Beef Sizzer. If anyone lives in LA and goes to Angus Cohen, get that, it's my favorite dish. But basically, it's like deep fried beef that's served in like a tangy sauce. And then on Saturday, I had fried dough, which is the healthiest of all doughs. - It's amazing, yeah. - And then I had corn in the cob, slathered in mayo, and then I had a hot dog. And then on Sunday, I had a tamale for breakfast, and then I had like five plates of shrimp swimming in oil and some fish tacos. And then a chocolate, double chocolate cupcake. And then for dinner, I had Thai food. That was like, again, like some fried shit and some braised shit oil and all that fat. So that's what I've been eating. - Well, you know, that sounds amazing, okay. The first thing that makes me bitter is that you're good looking and thin, and I, that kind of-- - I have a little gut. I have a little gut. - Oh, please, I do, please, with your little gut. - And the other thing that bugs me is just like this vegan-y thing, like, okay. If I'm gonna lose weight, and if I'm not gonna gain and lose the same 100 pounds every year, which basically I've done for five years, like I'm gonna dive a heart attack any day now. So like, if I'm gonna actually lose weight and keep it off, I have to do something I stick to, right? So, okay, let's say I stick to this vegan thing. Guess where I can go? No place, no place. There's nothing to eat. What are you gonna do? Like, I'm just gonna eat a fucking dry baked potato everywhere I go. - Ronnie, there are so many good vegan restaurants, including there's this place called Crossroads, which I haven't been to, but it's supposed to be elevated vegan food. That's supposed to be excellent. - I don't need elevated. I need shit I could drive through and get. I know I can go to Taco Bell and get a bean burrito. No, 'cause like, I'm not eating the soy products. - Well, I mean, you've backed yourself into this corner. I can't help you. - I have. I've just given myself a reason to complain for the next year. You're all welcome, you'll get to hear it. But yeah, so bravo, that's what you've taken us to. Talking about veganism. So thank God, all this bullshit's over. So what are we gonna watch this week? Oh, you know what? Actually, someone asked something on Facebook right now that I want to ask you about. Have you watched that new show, Pastors of... What is it? You don't even know what it is. - Is this on Bravo? - Pastors of LA. Yeah, some new show on-- - Bravo? - Yeah, it was showing for some reason, like yesterday in the daytime and I saw that it was on the guide, so I recorded it, but I haven't watched it yet. - Maybe it was like on a different channel and they, sometimes they do that, they show it. - Oh, it's called Preachers of LA, let me see. - 'Cause there's a new person playing. - There's a new show about a preacher that's coming out that way now. - Oh, it's on, it's called Preachers of LA. Let me see what channel it's on. I just thank God for the internet, y'all. That day, money, women, fame, church. That's the day in the life of the Preachers of LA. A new reality show centered on the lives of mega church pastors of the so-called prosperity gospel. Oh, it is oxygen. - So what do you want to bring that up on our page? Damn it, maybe 'cause they showed it on the bribes. - They showed it on the bribes and it's probably to get us ready for the new Preachers show that's coming on. - The Preachers daughters, oh, the Preachers, why? What is it? - I don't know, 'cause I really don't think I'm gonna watch. - You don't want to know about preachers? - Listen, I saw Rev Run, okay, I saw his show. I got enough, I know the way it works. - Yeah, that Preachers show, yeah, I ran away from that. - That's a choice. - All right, I think we've hit a wall. We basically had no good content this week to talk about. We tried our best, this is where we're at. - Geez. - So are you sort of pressing? - All that Katrina talk, you know, I think it's all the veganism. - I know, veganism and Katrina kills every conversation. - Listen, we started up this podcast talking about Jill Zaren's camel toe and there's just nowhere to go except down. - And down and in. - Yeah, you know it's gonna be a shitty podcast when it starts with the triple vagina. (both laughing) All right, so let's make plans on what to watch this week because I'm at a loss because Bravo, we do not have our new shows coming on until November. So we've got a couple of weeks here where we're gonna be swimming in the shallow end salts. - Well, we have Top Chef. - Okay, which, let me look how much discussion that leads to. - We'll make team two, remember when they cook, stop? That was great. - Wait, wait, but well, you never know and I'll try to take notes. So Top Chef and I'm not gonna say I dream of Nini only because it errors the night that we record. And so by the time we get to tonight's episode, it's gonna be a week. That's just too ridiculous. So no, I dream of Nini. - Yeah, I agree. I've been watching a little bit of it but I haven't watched it past two weeks because it's like Real Housewives of Atlanta where all Nini does is yell and talk over people and make an ass out of herself. Except it's every scene. - No. - Yeah, let's see. Let's, is there any-- - And you know what? I'm also just saying no to these bravo bullshit weddings. I've had enough bravo with your fake old lady weddings. Like enough of it, enough. Find something else. One person on this show joined a fucking circus so they can all do it 'cause I'd rather watch that. - What about, we could watch the people's couch. The people's couch isn't even on Bravo's website and sad. - Well, there's gonna be a lot that's gonna pick it up. - Listen, we have Miami next week. You know what, next week we'll just be about Miami and gossip and Top Chef and that's just the way it'll be. - People's couch ratings I'm putting in. I want to know about, that's not a no, we can't just watch Miami and Top Chef, Benjamin. There has, okay, we also have to watch the New Atlanta. We have to at least do one episode because people are asking about that every week. - All right, so let's watch the New Atlanta tonight and we'll talk about it next week. - Okay, so that will give Real Housewives of Miami new Atlanta and Top Chef. - Yeah. - And maybe million dollar listing? I've been watching that. (laughing) - Million dollar listing, oh my God. Madison gets dumped by the hot guy. It's amazing. And he's like, I don't understand but no one will date me because you talk like a droopy dog and you're a horrible evil bitch. And the only reason anyone will talk to you in the first place is because you work out a lot. So at Madison, jerk, Madison's a jerk and then he's been being me, the Heather for no reason. And then this lady came to look with him and he's like, stop, Heather. Oh, so you did to your own boyfriend, what you did to me? Oh, Heather. And then this lady's like, Heather, can I give you some old lady advice? You shouldn't betray people. And then Heather's like, you don't even know me. And then Josh Flag is like, maybe that should go 'cause this is like my job. And they're like, bye, bye, bye, bye. (laughing) So that one's been kind of fun. (laughing) What else is on me? I mean, you didn't like it. - That was a great recap. - Yeah. And I think that's all that's on. But maybe if we find something else, we can always email each other. - That's right. We don't even have to decide right now. I will set record for the new Atlanta. But I gotta do it right now because it's about to air for me 'cause I get the East Coast feed. - Okay. - So I guess on that note, we should wrap things up. Run business, bye everybody. You can find us on Facebook at Facebook.com/watchwickcrapins. Talk to us during the week over there. You can find me on, I don't even care where you can find me. Find me on Facebook, all my links are there. You can find Ben on all the social media outlets at vsideblog or at vsideblog.com, which is his blog, the best entertainment blog in LA. Thank you very much, LA Weekly. And you can find my site, trash.tv, for fun recaps and stuff like that. - Okay, bye guys, we'll talk to you next time. - Bye. - If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the internet. The folks behind the sideshow network of launch the new YouTube channel called, "Wait for it." It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Elijah Schleisinger, Schleising, driving friends with it for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there, and I still have a hard time with the last name, Elijah. 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