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Hey everyone, welcome to Watchwar Crapids, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we love. I'm Ben Mandelker from bsideblog.com. You can follow me @bsideblog on Twitter and Instagram and Vine and anywhere else joining me this week, as always, is the lovely, the inimitable, Rani Karam, hi Rani. Hello, Benjamin! Dutton abbeous back, so that's how we got this. I was about to say, when Rani is not walking around in a top hat with a cane, he can be found at trashtalktv.com and then his Twitter is trash tweet TV and I think his Instagram is trashtalktv again? Yeah, sorry, confusing. Yeah, so that's what Rani is. We don't have Matt here this week, so we'll just persevere on without him somehow, some way. And sad news for some of you all, we've gone back to the audio format only while we did really enjoy doing video. There are a few things. They're the recording quality went down a little bit, like it didn't sound as good. And I found me personally, I want them getting distracted by the visuals, and I think our rapport kind of wasn't quite as in sync as it was when we were in audio. Well, because there's that delay, you know, like, here when we interrupt each other, we can hear that we're interrupting each other, but there it's like, I don't know, it's an over-talk for 10 seconds in a row. Also, I mean, I was against that. I kind of liked having people talk back just while we were doing it live and all that, but now that we're doing this today, I am plucking my eyebrows, my nails, I mean, already, we've just started. I'm like, cleaning out my nails. Yeah, I mean, the best thing would be if we could somehow find a way to do audio only, but somehow make it live where we could get people interacting with us, because we did love that. That was one of the big pros of the video version, but we figured it's more important for us to put on a funny show than to, you know, have awkward moments and be able to respond to, you know, questions here and there. Yeah, hell yeah. Pulling up for that. Let's just get on with it. Let's get on with it. Enough already. I'm already bored with our process. We've already turned everyone off. We're the worst. The Podcaster Studio. Yeah, this is what is your process with your pod. It's a podcast about how we podcast. Yeah. Our medium method. So anyway, we have a lot to talk about this week. We're going to talk about Real Housewives of Miami and New Jersey. We're going to talk about Top Chef and we'll talk about Gossip, but why don't we talk about this quirky little show that surfaced this week called The People's Couch? Yes, let's talk about the people you talk about. So, okay, so we actually have a story about The People's Couch and here it is. People started sending me all these audition notices for the show because basically what we do is sit there and watch these shows and make fun of them. So they're like, "You'd be perfect." So, I set up an audition for me, Matt and Ben, and they saw us a couple of times. They really liked us and led us to believe that we were most likely going to be doing this show. Like we had to wait a month for network approval, but the producers were like, "We love you. You're basically like, we're throwing your hat in the ring, but you have to get network approval." Yeah. So, we decided thinking we were going to be on this Bravo show and we're trying not to tell you guys, you know, at least I did. Me and Matt totally did. We were like, "We're so on this show." So then I saw the casting director at the Big Brother Rap Party and went up to say, "Hi to him." And he immediately looked at me. He looked at the floor. Okay, this guy had been hounding us to make sure we had a place to shoot, where we're all in, that we had the month of October, you know, set in stone for them. They were totally ready and then, like, two weeks we hadn't heard from him. And then I saw him look down at the floor instead of being really nice to me. And I was like, "Well, that, we got screwed out of that one." So, by the way, this is also pretty much the story of my dating life, too. Oh my God. This is just basically my story of 10 years now, like, I know, basically. So we, you know, he looks down and I said, "So, you know, I didn't hound him about it, but then towards the end of our conversation," like I warmed him up, you know, and towards the end of the conversation, he said, "Well, they're deciding by tomorrow." But I knew from his reaction, I was like, "What's up?" Yeah, so we, you know, of course we didn't get a call, like, we found out we didn't get it. And you know what, honestly, like, that's what we do. Who cares? It's no big deal. Yeah. Until I saw what they did instead of get us. It's almost like they went, you know what, these three funny gay guys on a couch being total bitches is funny, but one of them's really fat. So let's get like three West Hollywood gay guys instead. Yeah, I think that's actually- I didn't like that. I think that's actually one of the main reasons why we didn't get picked, aside from the fact that maybe we just weren't funny or maybe we did discuss- Well, we know that's not true. Well, we were also, I think they really wanted people to sit and watch TV and react. And when we, we kind of were like a little on, we were kind of like doing the podcast, which may not have been really what they're looking for in all fairness, and they were very nice people in general. But when I saw the gay guys that they did select, it also became evident that they just wanted very attractive men. Yeah. I mean, it's totally offensive. Like they totally were like, oh, well, those three gay guys are funny, but this guy is like semi-famous. One of them is already a commentator or whatever. So let's get him and just add another couple weho gays. And you know what? Fuck that. That is so rude. And I saw on the, you know, we saw clips of the English show, the British show, which we had not really seen at that point. We'd seen kind of a preview, but we didn't see what the show actually was. And if they had told us, you're talking too much or whatever, we could have done it. But once I actually saw the show, I loved it because it's real people. The British show is like a real fat, semi-retarded. Yeah. And I mean that word in the literal sense, so don't be writing hate mail, but like some semi-retarded guy drew a link from the mouth and is like 100 year old mom and their sister with a job sitting in their dumpy ass apartment watching TV. I mean, you know, it's bad, but this one, of course, they have to go get fucking models to do it. Yeah. Fucking LA. And I have to say also I saw some of the British one and the British one is really funny actually because maybe it's because they're British and they have such quaint ways of saying things. I also felt like I didn't actually watch all of the people's couch. I only caught the last five or 10 minutes. There was, I actually felt like it seemed scripted, to be honest. And I'm not saying this is not coming from a place of bitterness. This is not coming from, I'm not trying to be vindictive because we weren't chosen. I really don't give a shit if we got chosen or not chosen, but quite frankly, it read like when they were doing, they were twerking like Miley Cyrus, you could tell the producers were like, "Okay, why don't you twerk? Why don't you twerk? Why don't you show us what it'd be like to twerk?" It felt, it didn't really feel like as natural as watching people really watching TV. Although the thing is people on Twitter liked the show. I looked it up too and I did not watch the show either. I just saw the preview while I was watching whatever was on that night, I guess, Jersey. Then I kind of, honestly, I just had my feeling started because I was like, "I'm just too ugly. I need to move back to fucking space. I need to move to space." Space. You could be like Sandra Bullock. You're going to be twirling around in space. Yes. I want to be in space in the water, somewhere where I'm just light and I can get high. Well, spoiler alert, anyway. Did you see Gravity, by the way? No, I'm poor. I'm unemployed. I was hoping that would at least help me get a job, but yeah, I'm not bitter for that. I was just bitter that they cast WeHoKays. Oh, my God. So, man. Yeah, I looked on Twitter too and people are really liking me, so I'll give it a chance. I'm actually not opposed to the show, even though we weren't on it. I like the idea of it. I do have to say, I thought the five minutes that I watched were nothing special. Like, I'm sorry, whoever produced it, I forgot your names already. But I just didn't think it was that funny, but I'm open to it, I'll watch another episode, the whole thing. No, if you guys want it to be funny, hire some actual funny people. I mean, not saying that the people on it are bad because I haven't watched it, but like, if you want it to be funny, just hire some funny people and stop worrying about people fucking doing push-ups, okay? People are not going to be watching this show because they're going to be masturbating to the three guys on the couch. Yeah. All right, fuck off. Those gay guys, I recognized him because he was at Gretchen, Christine Butte's engagement party in Los Angeles. Remember that episode, of course, when Slade arrived via helicopter and there was a party right afterwards, he was at that party. So once again, Bravo was cycling some stars, although they also weren't Tarsu or those two people from newlyweds on the show also. Yeah. So that's the other thing. I mean, you know, these people have some super. Yeah, I mean, I think it's a super fun idea for a show. And it looks really fun when I see the previews and everybody who watched it really liked it. Yeah. So, you know, good for them. I would just better that I'm too fat to be on it. So fuck you Los Angeles and fuck you, Bravo again. Yeah. So for all you people who've been writing on our Facebook page, facebook.com/watchforcrapins, there have been people who've been saying, oh my God, you guys should totally go on the people's couch. Let it be known, they had their chance. Fuck those guys. They are now performing on the spree cast with Leah Black. Yeah. You know what? You know what? So we're not a Bravo. You know what we're doing? You don't get to see our faces anymore. You don't want our faces there? You don't get them anywhere. You get audio only. Here, I take this. It's mine now. Yeah. My face is mine. That is why we changed it back to audio only because now I can binge. I can just be ugly. Okay. I can be ugly on a fucking microphone. We were shamed out of the video space. Okay. And then, you know, so that was Sunday, right? So this is, we're doing this on Tuesday. Yeah. So last night was Monday, of course. And I was supposed to do this little black thing, which he has us do, which is just like this after show that Leah's had us on a couple of, I mean, Ben on a couple of times. But Sam's fast. Well, yeah, some casual thing and you just talk. It's fun. It's like a group chat online, but it's always a shit show. It's always a mess. Well, last night I did it with Amy Phillips and the assistant, I'm still going to call him fucking Dan. But his name is not Dan, but I'm going to show you Dan, right? Yeah. It's the one they showed on the show this week. So it was us three. And then Sarah, who is Leah's like social media chick. So Leah, it's time to do it. And Leah is nowhere to be found. Now. So Sarah is like, you know, you guys should just, you know, go ahead and Leah will get her internet connection figured out because it was her fucking internet again. Okay. This happens every week. So we start doing it. This shows up. We did like 45 minutes and I basically was interviewing Amy Phillips, who's really, if you guys don't know who she is, she's like a brilliant. We love her. We love Amy Phillips. There's a lot of imitations of the housewives and she does this show sometimes too, but she's just a really, really good girl, really funny girl. And so we got, we got to talk the whole time, which is great. And I just interviewed her and let her answer the questions is Leah. So that was pretty fun. I just imagine Leah being like, well, I said, I sent a card and flowers. I sent a cable guy three weeks ago. I don't know. Yeah. My internet is. I sent it. Leah, you knew that I knew that you knew that you didn't send flowers to the cable guy. I didn't know that you knew that I knew that you knew. I haven't paid my internet in the six months. I've just been paying with flowers and cards. I haven't even been selling those. How fun is that? So funny. I got the time warning guy or to test my makeup and I had cameras there to shoot it all. I don't know why I wouldn't be working. Yeah. I'm already so happy we're back on audio. Listen to us. Listen to us making jokes. Yeah, scratching my balls at the same time. What a joy, what a joy. So let's go on to some of the other other gossip. Did I cut off your story? Did you have more to say? You really do want me to have any more personal things in this podcast because I'm just bitter. Let's just move on. Let's just be dumb. No, I'm not bitter. I'm not bitter. But anyway, my point was I did have an end, I guess. So Leah didn't show up and we had a great time anyway, but I was like, this is basically my life at this moment. I think I'm going to be spending this week shooting a Bravo show and I end up talking to fucking Leah Black's assistant with a 15 second delay and the star doesn't even show up and nobody's watching this and I'm going to go slip my wrist. If I had a bathtub that was clean, I would have killed myself in it. I'm just imagining you, Michelle Pfeiffer and yourself in a bathtub. That's a little call back to the year 2000 for what lies beneath. That's a reference. They're very current reference. That's what you get here at Watch For Crap Inns. No. 13 year old reference. If that was the case, I would be in the bathtub. I would be about to cut my wrist and some producer would come in and be like, you're too fat for this scene. You're going to hang yourself outside and we've got a model here to kill themselves and study you. That would be great because then when they put your body and everything, they'd be like, "Oh my God, Ronnie was looking really good. Why do you do that? He was looking so great." He's really come so far. You finally lost that weight. Could you imagine having a body double for your casket? Oh my God. I just don't want to be one of those people that they have to make a special coffin for me. Oh, Ronnie, you never would. You never will be. I will. Oh, whatever. Enough about my fat. That's my five minutes talking about being fat for the week in the public eye, so there you go. Okay, so let's talk some gossip here. We pulled up a few little articles. I have one that's just from a few hours ago that states, "Here's the headline, "Paramis couple sues real housewives stars of a Ridgewood brawl." Oh my God. That's right. Penny and what's his face, the Greek, Johnny, the Greek or whatever, also known as John Karad Jorg, just whatever. Right. Yeah. Guess what? They're suing Jacqueline, her husband and Joe Goruga again. Again? Would that case was thrown out? I think it's sort of like an OJ Simpson situation where I think the original one was a criminal court and this one's a civil, this is in the civil court. Yeah. First they were accusing them of being terrorists and now they're just accusing them of being mean or what? How does that work? Oh, just, I think they're saying this time that they're also going after the, the production company saying that, you know, Joe Goruga has a known temper and that this is, you know, they, they intentionally put him in this situation, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. What losers? Let me tell you something. No one's going to believe this guy. He, first of all, okay. He looks like, he looks like a pizzeria owner who, who failed at a pizza school. He looks like someone who's got like a, he's trying to like make pizzas on a hubcap or something like that and trying to pass off as a pizza out of it. I'm going to say this. I told you he's not even a pizza guy. He deep fry his hot dogs and it wasn't even like, oh, it's the owner, Johnny Caracaca. It was like, this guy works at like carnies deep frying hot dogs. He actually, it says here in the article, he's an employee at Clifton's Ruts Hut. Is Ruts Hut a hot dog, Hut of some sort? Well, I only know because I looked it up last week to figure out more about this guy because I was like, who the hell is this guy and why is he always on Twitter and always being mentioned? He doesn't even own Ruts Hut. He's an employee there. Okay. I'm looking up Ruts Hut. Okay. Okay. I'm on the Ruts Hut website. Here's what, here, there's a picture of Ruts Hut. It looks like a brick building that sort of place where it looks like you'd go in there to get like flagstones for your walkway, but it's actually, you know, it's like the sort of place where you get like stone and marble or something like that. It looks like a little warehouse. And the website says, welcome to the future home of Ruts Hut. So it's an aspirational website for Ruts Hut. It's a mood board. Yeah. Let's see. Let's see what the yelps, yelp reviews say. Ruts Hut in Clifton, New Jersey, deep fry, but also good at hurts. Can't wait to visit and have a few rippers and relish. The relish is the bomb digs and it's their own receiving recipe. The recipe is probably his own flop sweat falling into a vat of man is. Yeah. It's like, he got it by reading his like the stretch marks on his armpit between his armpit and his boob. Let's see. Someone wrote like a six paragraph review. I'm like, listen, if you're dedicating six paragraphs to Ruts Hut, you've got a real problem. It's one thing for us to talk about it because it doesn't involve us using our hands or applying any sort of intellectual capabilities. But if you're sitting, you're writing six paragraphs about this place. We have. But ain't that yelp though? Don't you just fucking love yelp. I love it. It's like we're like minimum wage workers have a voice like, well, you know, the golden corral. There were so many fingerprints on the glass, you know, on the sneeze glass, like, let's go on. Oh, and I contacted the manager and home he did was give me a free soda. Shut up. Yelp. Okay. Let's start. It actually has generally okay reviews, but someone gave us a one. Well, what kind of what kind of person goes and eats a hot dog and then decides to have like discernible taste. It doesn't work like that. Wait a second. No, no, you take that back because you would never eat that. What a Ruts Hut or a hot dog? A deep fried hot dog from Ruts Hut. I would get a deep fried hot dog. I would not get it with Johnny the Greek at the standing by the fryer with his with his, you know, nipples dangling pericially over these frothy bubbles of oil. Okay. So the point is this, we are way off here. The point is that this is bright. We're talking about bravo and people that work deep frying hot dogs deep frying hot dogs. You know, God bless this guy. He, you know, he does for a living. He deep fries hot dogs. He sits in me. He is over a fryer. He takes processed pieces of meat and throws it in hot oil and watches it bubble around and then gives it to some mooks that came in off the boardwalk. After eating, after eating a bite off of each one. Yeah. Let him, let him have his moment in the sun. I say, I'm taking it all back. Let him see these guys. It's going to get thrown out. Let him have some fame so we can always talk about it. And then he'll, you know, go off to hot dog heaven. Yeah. I'm reading his Twitter right now and it says everyone needs to understand that when in PR business, the right thing to do is not involve family with business. Like what are you afraid that you're going to get stabbed in the back by your sister at the deep fryer? Shut up. You'd agree. A ruts hot scandal. By the way, and ruts hot, that just sounds terrible. It really sounds like a place involving, you know, the purchase of rubber and, or break fluid. Aside from the fact that it looks like it's a place where you get marble. It's very confused. So speaking of food, I want to talk about an article that I read that came courtesy of reality blurred about Top Chef. Were you able to see that article, Ronnie? No, I was too bitter because you put it up yesterday and I was still really upset. I was eating Twinkies. You're still upset about the people's couch? It was only yesterday. I mean, it was like the next day. Okay. All right. So everyone, if you have not read this article, I actually really, truly encourage you to read it. If you are a Top Chef fan, or even if just you're a reality fan in general, it's just, it's fascinating. Well, walk us through it because I really was interested in reading it and totally forgot. No, sorry. I'm just going to not, I'm just going to mention it and then never, I'm not going to talk about it. No, Ronnie, you don't get that. Man, I'm glad I'm here to keep on track. No, so go to our website or our Facebook page, facebook.com/watchforcrapins. It's up there. A journalist for one of the papers in New Orleans got to tag along for the first two and a half days of shooting of the season of Top Chef. Oh, cool. And he sort of explains the process of how they film and how the whole backstage area is. You know, he says it's like a two and a half day process. For instance, the deliberations at the end, the judges table, that's like the whole, that's the next day. It's not even the same day as the event. And any time they say last night that gets cut out, it has to be tonight, tonight, tonight. They have a whole separate kitchen in their studio where they test things out. Sandy Birdsong, who was on season three, she was one of the lesbians. I mean, every woman on the show pretty much is a lesbian. But she... I don't think you're allowed to be a straight woman with the main birdsong, it's too, your automatically makes you a bit darker. She's just like, you want to go on a nature walk? So she is sort of like a consulting food producer, which is I think what Leanne Wong used to do, which is that they get these challenges. And then they have to try them out and see if they're doable in the time that it takes, that they're given and that they're entertaining. For instance, on the premiere episode, which we're going to talk about a little bit later, the challenge was to cook either alligator or frog legs or turtle. And originally they had thrown crawfish in there as well, but crawfish were so significantly easier than the other three that they took it out. So anyway, there are a lot of fun tidbits. I'm not going to get into all of it, but it's a really, really good read. So everyone, please check out that article. Oh, well, that's cool. And I was so excited to have Top Chef back because I don't know what the differences between that and masters, but God, it's so good. I love it. Yeah, they, so I think they started filming around Memorial Day or June, but they started, they started doing real serious, like, competition stuff, just playing it out in March. And what they do is they go to New Orleans and they try to get as involved and active with all the restaurants and stuff and really use that as inspiration for challenges. And the article gets into how they build the challenges, how they film things, how it's all set up, the people behind it, I'm honestly, it was very good. Cool. Okay. Very good. Well, let's all read it. Yeah, let's all read it. And then once you're done reading it and feeling informed, then you can read articles about other vapid things like the fact that ex-real housewives of New Jersey star Danielle Stop was invited to the reunion and turned it down, did you hear about that? No. Why would she be invited to the reunion? That doesn't even make any sense. It does make sense because the show is sort of on its last legs. I guess they wanted her to clarify some rumors about Melissa Gorga or something or another. They just want to start the pop, you know, because everyone's happy and she refused. I'm sorry. I don't believe that story. She says that there was too much darkness and I'm not interested on whatever. You were just like spreading your legs at, what was that? What's that place in New York? What's that strip club in New York? Sparks? Sports? No. It's, it's. Oh, God. Whore house incorporated? No, it's really famous, but she was on scores. Remember she's got scores. Yeah, she had her, yeah, like a contract there. She couldn't even get through that. It's like, come on, baby. You can't even like be a stripper. She's, she's, you're not burning anything down. She should have done it. It was Andy Cohen himself who tweeted on, on Twitter that, that she was invited. This is not just like a rumor. He said that she was invited. And so she said, that's too much darkness and I'm not interested, which is the biggest bullshit. She probably wanted money and they didn't, didn't want to pay her. Yeah. They, she probably wanted a flashlight. She's talking about the darkness in her wallet, just looking into the empty abyss. Um, well, it's hard to believe that, but I guess I'll believe it since Andy tweet, you know, since Andy did it and he personally didn't like get me not hired on that TV show. Yeah. So, um, the other thing that I didn't believe this week, which I'm wondering if you're going to bring up, is it Jill Zaren and, uh, what's your buzz? Alex. Alex McCord refused to go on Bethany Frankel's talk show. Yeah. Um, I, well, I think that's pretty hilarious. Uh, so basically from what I saw, Jill Zaren was upset because Bethany did not extend the invitation personally, um, and that it was a booker that called Jill Zaren and Alex was upset because they didn't offer her enough money. So, um, Alex, have you watched yourself on YouTube, babe? You've got 15 viewers and they're barely nice to you. They're all, they're all your husband, like get over yourself. Yeah. Alex, you're giving it away for free. You might as well get something on a larger platform. I mean, seriously, Alex, close your eyes, now open your eyes, now close your eyes, now open your eyes. That's what I have to say to you, Alex McCord. I know. Alex, her little web show, it's not good. It's really, have you seen her web show? She sits there, you know, and I like Alex. She was always very nice to me when we've interacted, but, um, she, her web show is terrible. She sits there. She has like her topics of the day that she wants to discuss, but she hasn't sort of like written down on a piece of paper. So it's like she's reading her thoughts on her rants, kind of like an anchor, anchor woman from the, from like 1984, you know, like, who's like really nervous and awkward. It's like an anchor man audition, it's an anchor woman audition at a cocktail party in like a closet where she's not sure if she's going to be asked to like take off her clothes. Yeah. Like it's the most awkward thing ever. She's like, Hey, guys, it's me, Alex McCord, you know, this week. And the way that she does it is she doesn't just say like, Oh, you know, this week on the Real Housewives of Miami, everyone was mean to, you know, whoever, Leah or whatever. She's like, well, guys, this week on the Real Housewives of Miami, we got to see a man get Botox. Well, let me tell you what happened when I was on the Real Housewives of New York. If someone had an appointment at a doctor's office, they'd get called the day before to set up a time. Well, that looks like it happens in five minutes, but let me tell you that's a whole day of shooting. I mean, people have to clear out of that waiting room and it gets real annoying. Thanks for watching my show. It's like Alex. Alex. No one cares. Okay. Oh my goodness. Yeah. That's pretty much the way it is. It's like, just please stop it. Here we are on YouTube. You know, the first time I was on YouTube was right after Real Housewives of New York started and we barely had the internet. Oh, geez. Yeah. And then I know her whole show, it was, she has like a nine minute show and she spent the entire time talking about like, Nini Leaks, just like, what are you doing, Alex? This should have been a four minute show, says the two guys who have a show that goes for five hours talking about, you know, feces and guys deep frying hot dogs. And Alex, I'm going to hear a view of Alex McCord show on YouTube. No, we should, we should really just rename this podcast, throwing stones in glass houses. That's all we do. We take big old boulders and throw them right at the wall. See what happens. Yeah. Pretty much. I mean, and you know what, that's going to follow us around for the rest of our lives. Even when we, let's say like we get another shot at something, really, all people have to do is Google us and listen to us for five minutes to know what they're getting into. Like, what the hell are we doing? Let's just move. The people, the people's couch people are probably like picking up their phone and be like, oh, you know, let's call those guys. Let's have them on for the next batch of episodes and they're like, oh, never mind. We should do, you know what we should do. We should do a video of us watching the people's couch. So it'll be us watching. Oh my God, please, let's do that. Oh my God. The people do that. The people's couch couch, please, please let's at least do that when we, oh my God, we, oh, you know, we should do, we should have one where we sit and watch. So if you ever got to do things and we call it the, the, the sofa for gara, no, not as good. Yes. Good. Let's do, we'll just do reaction videos every week. We'll have our own damn show. Yeah. So, what else, do you have any more gossip stories or should we move into the show? Um, let's just move into the shows. Let's move into the shows. Um, you sure did you have something and now you're not sure about it? No, I was actually, you know what I was doing. I stopped the recording and then I recorded started again because since I have a very touchy microphone, I'm afraid that if I touch my microphone, it'll cause my computer to crash and we will lose everything we've done so far. So sometimes every now and then I stopped recording and started up again. So at least like save the first chunk. Oh, technology. That's a little insider info for all. Yeah. Yeah, guys. That's something real special. Right. Yeah. I'm going to do a nine minute YouTube video about it and then I'm going to make three pretty gays watch it and react the people's podcast. Um, so anyway, yeah, why don't we get into, um, should we do Miami since that was the most recent one? It's the freshest in our brains. Yeah, sure. Let's talk about Miami. So you guys, this is going to be the biggest surprise to you, but this is what happened this week on the Real Housewives of Miami. Nothing. Not a fucking thing. Nothing happened on that show. No, I think you should take that back. The last 10 minutes were decent, but everything leading up to that, let me tell you something. I am sick of this romaine lettuce and Joanna Krupa sex storyline. I don't care. It was mildly interesting to learn. He was beaten to like within an inch of his life by his crazy French dead mother. But everything else is so stupid. Like, why do we watch this? Why, why are we watching them in sex therapy? Why can we have like real issues? I don't care if it's as mundane as she can't get her computer to work. At least I know it'd be a real thing. The sex thing is not real. I'm sorry. No kidding. And you know what? Bravo cannot be hiring alcoholics and then letting them dry out. That's another thing because Joanna was so entertaining her first year because when she has a drunk anger problem, and if she's not going to be drinking, look, I'm not here for Joanna to get a decent reputation and get the occasional cover of like, whatever, like life and style magazine, okay? Yeah. I'm not here to support her in that way. I'm here to watch her slap some bitches and act stupid and like a drunken, randy whore and make an ass out of herself on TV. Why the hell else would I watch? Like, you know why you're having trouble with your sex life because you're marrying a guy who's almost 50. Okay? That's why. And you know, furthermore, you know, Bravo likes to kind of like imprint these storylines onto these characters every single season. But they recycle the same ones from, from season to season, whether it's sex therapy or something else, how many times do we have to see the couple go to therapy and then try something to spice things up? How many weddings do we have to see? How many stupid business things do we have to see try to get off the ground? It's the same old shit. And I wish that sometimes I feel like Bravo doesn't actually ask these people what's going on in their lives and make a story about it. You know, I'm just getting sick of the engagement. Let's look at a, let's look at wedding rings. It's the, it's the, they just have like a little card catalog, they pull out an index card like, okay, we're going to give this one to Joanna this season. Yeah. Same thing. And I was watching that Real Housewives of Vancouver show thinking, oh, this is like a different country. This is going to be totally different. Nope. Same thing. Like, oh, they're going to teach her kid to drive and it's going to be wacky. And then, you know, someone's going to, I don't know, it's like same shit. Same story. Why can't we, why can't we follow stories about Joanna and her modeling? Maybe she's having, is she having issues with her modeling now? Is she, is she get landing gigs? Is she not landing gigs? Like, I just don't feel like, um, we care that much about the relationship, you kind of stories. Is it me? I feel like the people who tune into the show are not tuning in to find out, are they going to get married? How's that engagement going to be? People don't turn into bro over that. People want to see fights and they want to see people struggling and being deluded. Yeah. Totally. I totally agree. And I think that a lot of these people are interesting enough that if you follow their real life, for example, um, let's, you know, this cast. Lee is married to a lawyer who a lot of people hate because he's a defense lawyer and he basically, uh, takes care of the richest of the rich people like defense like last year when he was defending that guy who killed someone in a drunk driving accident and Lee was telling their son like, well, you know, some people are just mean, you know, like that's interesting or, you know, what if Lee, all these girls are being really mean, let's say to Leah. So, you know, what do you think Leah's really smiling and taking it all on the chin? No, that bitch is like manipulating her way and her, you know, figuring out who she could fuck over. I want to see that. Yeah. You know, uh, Adriana, I want to see her trying to hide from everybody. The fact that she's married so that she could scam a free wedding on TV. Yeah. And by the way, if anything, um, proves that the lea, uh, that, not so much that Leah was right, but that Adriana is the crazy one. Look at the way she's planning this wedding. She is such a crazy bridezilla. First of all, she sends an invite over invite, which I understand there's some people who would do that, but then they'd usually have like a little sort of hippie wedding or whatever. But clearly, Braava's like, no, we're not going to pay for your invitations. They're like, okay, well, do an e-vite, you know, yeah. And then, and then on top of that, um, the fact that she's making people change their, uh, change their outfits, I would be furious about that. I'm no good. No good. She's a crazy bitch. Well, wearing white to a wedding, you know, unless it's on the beach or something, that's really not white formal where isn't really normal for a wedding, but then it make them all switch into like a terrible theme. Like, she already knew that that movie was about what's going to be on DVD by the time this came out, right? It's like, it's just not current, you know, like, you should have done it. You should have done it like that Sandra Bullock movie. That's what's really hot right now, you know, if you wanted to have a modern. Everyone shows up in astronaut suits, and then everyone goes twirling. You know, here's the thing. Reception will be in zero gravity. We're going to have it in the mirror. We have it in the space station. And then, um, instead of throwing a bouquet and whoever catches it, it's whoever can catch Sandra Bullock as she comes twirling by, they're the ones who get married. And if you don't catch her, it's okay. She'll, she'll, she has a fire extinguisher. She'll be fine. You all come into the wedding and I cut you and then you twirl around until George Clooney didn't make you stop. That's, that's up to my standards. Listen, I wanted to be a great Gatsby party up in space. So you have to wear a, you have to wear a spacesuit with a fedora on top. That's up to my standards for my recession gift because it's all about my love and how long I've waited for the perfect man. Everyone have to buy me a spaceship. Everyone, I don't care how you do it. That's not my concern. I see the spaceship has to be up to my standards and also NASA standards. Uh, she's so fucking crazy. So she sends out an E-vite. One thing that they were talking about last night that I didn't really notice on the show was that they were getting intravenous, intravenous IV, uh, what am I trying to say? Intravenous, uh, vitamin cocktails injected. Oh my goodness. I missed that part. That sounds great. No, that was, you know, that, that part was so ridiculous. Okay. So they go to this place called the Miami Institute, which could not sound more cultish if you had asked me. I mean, it sounds like this sort of place that was in Woody Allen's sleeper. You know, I think it was a place for rejuvenation. The tranny works there, apparently, which is already a bad sign. Not because she's a tranny, just because she's ridiculous. So they go in there. And she says things like, huh, of course I work at the Miami Institute. I'm a Miami institution. She's like, I don't need a vitamin injection. I need a man injection. Ah, I'm Kim control. Um, so anyway, so the three ladies went there and they got, they, it's, the place is mental like very official, almost like a legitimate place of medicine that people walk around with clipboards and things like that. But then they, uh, they sit down and they get like vitamin A injected into them. And then there's like a pool boy that comes around with champagne. It was so bizarre. Well, how would I get vitamins put on me when I can get them put in me if I had a nickel? If I had a nickel for every time vitamins were put in me, I'd have 10 cents. I am very depleted on the other hand. Um, yeah, they did that, which was ridiculous. And Marisol tried to, I'm trying to talk some sense into Adriana to get her to not have this ridiculous theme, but it wasn't happening. I don't know why anybody would say anything to Adriana because that bitch will turn on you in two seconds. Yeah. I mean, I think that the one that they're just blindly following her and doing whatever she says right now. And that's what they need to do because she will eat them alive. Like she, she does not care if she has no loyalty. She will eat you a new one. Yeah. The reason why her boobs are bigger this season is because it has like the souls of her friends from the past inside of them. Yes. She just sort of sucks them in and they go right into her boobs. Everyone she fucks over. She gets like their spirit sailing. Yeah. I'd like to see her in outer space watching those boobs flail around. So what else happened on this show? So not much really happened. We got to see her husband get some Botox, which was frightening. And then more sex talk with Romaine and then Lisa, who just can't get a storyline to save her life. Yeah. Trying to be a sex therapist. When meanwhile her own husband won't fuck her, so I don't know what she's talking about. But me, the big thing that happened was this controversy over whether or not Leah had sent anything to Elsa in the hospital. So Leah showed Adriana an email that said something along the lines of, "Hey, like- Oh, Alexia. She was shown. Alexia. I'm sorry. Leah showed her an email that she had sent to Marisol that said something along the lines of, "Hey, I hear she's in the hospital. Should I come by? I don't want to cause more problems," et cetera, right? So that seemed like pretty damning evidence to me that Leah meant what she said. But then again, Marisol was saying like she was in the hospital for months with a stroke and didn't come to visit her or give her anything. And Leah was like, "I said her car to the house. I said her flowers to the house." Which may be true, but if there's anything we know about Leah, she usually double checks and triple checks things and is on top of everything. So something seems a little fishy. Well, by the way, her assistant's name is Jason, not Dan, and I apologize for being an asshole. I'm looking at his picture right now because the pictures were written on that video chat. But anyway, Jason is Leah's assistant and he said that he personally helped her send pictures and flowers multiple times and he knows that they did, you know, he knows that it was done. So, I mean, I know he's an employee and he could be lying, but really like what? He brought it up. Like, why? Yeah, I don't know. It just seems like she would. It doesn't seem like, "Oh, you're mean to me, I hope your mom dies in the hospital." Yeah, I agree. She doesn't really seem like that. And it's just such a petty thing for Marisol to be all up her ass about. It's just petty. Marisol just needs something to do. God bless her heart. Yeah, she does. I actually agree with Lisa who said on the show that she thinks Marisol is really doing this because Marisol is upset at Leah and Marisol actually probably doesn't care either way if Leah had sent flowers, but that since she's mad at Leah, she's trying to find something to kind of like grill her over. So what happened was, Alexia had a big birthday party and Leah showed up and Marisol confronted her about it. And Leah was like, "No, I sent it to the house. I sent cars to the house." But Marisol kept on confronting her. So then finally Leah just sort of like walked out of there. And then Marisol confronted her again and Leah eventually, that's when there was that ridiculous exchange where Marisol was like, "You knew that I knew that you knew." And Leah was like, "I didn't know that you knew that I knew that you knew that I knew." It's very strange, it's hard to follow. And so then Leah leaves and then Lisa is like, "Marisol, what the fuck, why are you doing that? Why are you doing that?" And then Marisol was like, "Why are you getting involved? This has nothing to do with you. Stay out of your, you know, keep out of your own business or whatever. Mind your own business." Which I kind of agreed with Marisol, like this was not Lisa's thing to jump up into, but what I did not like was then that Anna, our favorite Anna, showed up and was then started getting mad at Lisa for getting involved. It's like, "Anna, what were you there to do?" Yeah, you're standing right there with like literally with a drink and a straw watching like a bag of popcorn, you know what I mean, watching the whole thing go down. So shut up. And she was totally there to jump in. And if Leah hadn't gotten in that elevator, Anna would have been up her ass. Yeah, exactly. And that's the thing. That's why I don't mind Lisa really being there because this has already happened and you've got someone who's being, you know, she grabs her arms, she turns her around, she's following her through the party, trying to embarrass her in public again, and she's walking away. I mean, if someone's walking away, you just, haven't you learned on this show, you don't follow them? Yeah, you might get slapped. She'd be fair, even though we're friendly with Leah. To be fair, there were some inconsistencies there that I didn't get. And maybe she was just flustered. And I was going to ask her this last night, but she didn't come. But you know, things like saying, well, you know, everyone knows that mom house is special to me. We have a special relationship. And then saying on her brow, you know, bravo blog, well, I barely know mom house. The only times we've even talked is when you've seen it on the show and maybe a couple of times on the phone, you know, we've talked on the phone, but it seems like there's maybe some backpuddling there, which I don't know, but I guess I'm of the opinion that even if she never even called or sent to flower or even gave a shit, who cares, like Marisol's being a bitch. I agree. You know, whatever. I agree. To me, it's just silly. It's just a fight. I don't care about, about, you know, an old woman who most likely doesn't care, care about it. And the only reason Marisol's even on this show is because her mom's entertaining enough for her to be, she has nothing to do, nothing to say, get the fuck out of here, lady. And you know, also, if Leah had sent flowers or had visited Elsa, then Marisol'd been like, "She's so fake. How could she do that? We're in a fight. She says such mean things." And then she visits my mom in the hospital as if everything's okay. You know, there's no way-- No way to-- She's trying to turn my own mother against me. Yeah, there's no way you can't win with these people. Yeah, yeah. You cannot win. And if you're married, so will you just can't win in general? Because that is not, that is, that is just a portrait of a non-win. Yeah. And it's a very waxy portrait at it. That is a very pulled back giant-lipped portrait in a non-win. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, it's not unlike the little space-crafting that Bowser Jr. flies around in Super Mario World. Yeah. Take a look at it on the internet if you haven't seen. I feel really bad because Marisol's one of those people who's abused herself so much that she can never do this. You know how hard that must be. I mean, what a hard life. It's difficult. It's very, very difficult. What a non-win of a life. Yeah, she's never properly focused on Marisol's, get out of your pajamas and do that thing with the lips. Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh thing with your lips. Yeah. Sorry, Mom. Leah. Sorry, Mom. I'm Marisol. What a trick. Yeah. How fun is that? I tricked Mama. Oh, it didn't bring you a card. Marisol, you see? She's a bit. Sit down. Shut up. Okay, so what else happened? Nothing. Pretty much it. I mean, let's go to New Jersey. Ben, let's talk about article. I just moved into a new house and it is really hard to find quality furniture that honestly I can afford without feeling terribly guilty. I found the most beautiful stuff on article. I got three bar stools for this bar I built and they are gorgeous. They're mid-century modern brown leather seats. Just beautiful. And not only are they great, but they brought them over and they put them together. It was white glove service from beginning to end. 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To claim, visit article.com/crapins and the discount will be automatically applied at checkout. That's article.com/crapins for $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. This episode is sponsored by DoorDash. We're back to tell you more about the latest dash pass annual plan benefit. Wearing Max with ads included at no extra cost. You know what's a great night for us? Ordering DoorDash and cuddling up to watch the Max original hacks. Which won best comedy deservedly so and we'd love tuning in to see not only icon Gene Smart but the wonderful and incomparable Rose Abdu who also is a huge Bravo fan. Listen, I'm always in the mood for hacks but you never know what kind of food I'm in the mood for. Sometimes it's pizza, sometimes it's a salad and I can get both with DoorDash. Tap out some ice cream, that's what I like to eat with my hacks. 100% I will double dash, I will get a salad and then double dash some ice cream, why not? Sign up for a dash pass annual plan and get Max included at no extra cost. It's your door to more. Max is now included with your dash pass annual plan. Stream Max with ads up to $120 value included at no extra cost. Terms apply at door dash dot com slash max for details. This fight is not good enough to last the whole season and now we've not only got one annoying wedding, we have two terrible weddings that we have to sit through. I'm sorry to say this might be the last year of Miami. Sorry. That would be a bummer but they messed up this year. They should have known better like Richard Mark's one saying but they didn't. Let's go to the New Jersey Reunion. Or as Michael Jackson once said, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad. Yeah, okay. Or as Tina Turner once saying, "You better be good to me, realize I was a Miami, you better be good to me." And as Celine Dion once saying, all by myself, "Just want to be all by myself." Sometimes. As Elton John once said, "Don't let the sun go down on me." I don't think it would be anything. As Carolyn Monroe once said, "Happy birthday, Mr. President." As boy meets girl once saying, waiting for a star to fall, waiting for a star to fall. As my kindergarten teacher used to say, "T for two and two for T, you for me, me for you and you for me." As Dan Hill and Vonda Shepherd used to sing, "Can't we try just a little bit harder? Can't we try just a little bit more?" Wow. It's really fun. Okay, so New Jersey Reunion. We don't need another hero. Okay, so New Jersey Reunion, I pretty much forget everything that happened. I thought it was a little bit of a wah-wah. There were some semi-tense moments, but generally everyone was kind of getting along. Caroline had this cocka-made-me story about how when she talked about Albie cheating that she's like, "Do I think he cheated?" No. But would I be a fool to say he's never cheated? Yes. It's like, "What? Huh? Huh?" She's like, "I don't think he's cheated." But I, you know, in 32 years of marriage, could he have cheated? Yes. What are you talking about, Caroline? Yeah, I have no idea what she was saying except basically, because Andy was calling her out on some interview that she gave, where she basically said, "You know, we've been married for a long time. He's probably cheated." Like, in not exactly those words, but enough to make everybody infer that that's what she was saying. And she's like, "You're in trouble, make Andy Cohen." Well, you know, then don't talk. Just don't give interviews at all about anything. Yeah, that's a good place to start. Someone posted on her Facebook page, he's, everyone knows he's been having an affair with some woman for five years and even mentioned this woman's name. Penny? Well, every man loves to run his fingers through some straw. The Penny Arcade. Why who would have an affair without being manzo for so long? Anyone who wants money to just walk down the, you know, walk around the halls of the brown stone holding some old man's hand, you know, even he could hell or cop through that thing for an hour straight and he'd never get it hard, right? You know, he just does not have the artery space to even fill his penis anymore. Half of his blood vessels are dead. There's no way he's going to fill that penis. He'd be the easiest guy to ever have an affair with. It's like, you know, help clean his butt and shower, get his newspaper and change the channel for him when he needs it. So the other thing that was sort of noteworthy, I'm just looking through our Facebook page to see if anyone else pointed anything out from their reunion and doesn't look like anyone has anything to say about anything. Like, why can't, well, Tara Janice says, why can't Melissa just give a direct answer to the question of whether or not she's cheating? Well, obviously because she has cheated. That's an easy one. I liked when Joe Gorga said that he learned, I think he learned about like the hair thing from the gays, right? Wasn't he saying something about gays? Oh, he learned, you know, look, you're going to learn about spray on hair the same place you've learned how to give a blood job at a gay bar. Yeah. It's the best place to learn about hair and blow jobs. Oh, yeah. I've seen him on Instagram with his wiener out, I mean, give me a break. That guy is totally catering to the gays. And that's why he would never get married to anybody before. And he and Melissa were both strippers and that's how they knew each other. And I'm sure they do have some kind of an open relationship because what strippers appear to him. I mean, come on. Yeah. Except for, of course, those strippers from the 16 20s. Yeah, of course. Well, all they did, all they did was take off the buckle from their shoes. That was very scandalous. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Their buckles would get all scabby and shit if they like rub their photo on the wrong guy. One night only, Hester Prynne takes off her buckle. Yeah. That is going to come off. That's right, everyone. We just mentioned Nathaniel Hawthorne's masterpiece on this podcast. We are no longer vapid. That's right. We are cultured bitches, you guys. We are cultured, scarlet, letter, bitches. Um, so anyway, what did you think about Dr. V showing up on this reunion? You know, Dr. V is such a hack. She's such a hack. I mean, on her show, you know, that was all about psychiatry. She had to be naked as many times as possible, chain smoking in her bathtub, trying to make skin and mac soft porn, like she is the neediest, most vapid person. And I'm sorry. I don't want advice from someone like that. Like, if you really need a really tiny cable audience to tell you you're pretty because you're naked, I just have no respect for you. Like, if you're going to be a whore, just be a whore, you know? Yeah. Well, I didn't like about Dr. V was that when she was giving them therapy on the show, she seems semi proficient. She seemed all right. She seemed like she got them to cry and everything. She came on to the reunion and started, you know, throwing around all the kind of ridiculous phrases that make people hate therapy. You know, she was saying things like, "Well, now that you have the emotional language, what I'm seeing here is a lot of healing." And it's like, "Shut up." It stops using these buzz words and these phrases and saying things to make it sound like you did your job well, you know? Or whenever someone disagrees with her, she says things like, "I hear that." Oh, shut the fuck up. Yeah, you hear it? Because I just said he's stupid. I see a lot of pain here and I'm feeling the emotional language of hurt at the moment. It's like, "Shut up." Oh, and she's like, "Well, when you guys were talking to that woman with the straw hair, but you were standing next to each other, you were physically on the same side, I thought we've made progress." Yeah. And I thought there was a fucking camera in the middle of that. Yeah. Yeah, I'm like, you know, just because two people wind up on the same floor tile does not mean that they're allied. Exactly. It's called hitting your mark. It's called camera blocking. Yeah. Exactly. She's like, "What a remarkable moment. You know, you've really learned the emotional language, the physical language." Amazing how you both found your light around the same time in that argument. It's like you both saw the camera and knew if we both stand in front of us and find out with a camera, what a powerful statement that would make and convenient for the producers. Yeah. This cast does not need a nice feeling, thoughtful woman. They need a doctor, Laura. They need someone who's going to be like, "Yes." You know, you fucked your brother when you were young. That was your first mistake. Now you wonder why you're acting like ex-boyfriend, a girlfriend, because you fucking are. So stop seeing each other. It's disgusting. Your parents hate you for a reason. If they don't want to see you, they don't want to see you. It's your own downfall. Fix your own fucking life. No one cares about your feelings. Stop embarrassing your children. Your wife is a stripper. If she doesn't want that, no, she shouldn't be on a TV show. Like they need that. I agree. And I think I would prefer Dr. Phil over Dr. V at this point. Dr. Phil would at least yell at them, I think. And he'd say things like, "You know, even a fan's got posts." Even a chair has got a kitchen. I mean, got a cushion. Chairs have kitchens too. You don't realize that chairs have their own houses with a kitchen and a living room. Are you going to be in that house? Sometimes you need to walk outside and see which way the wind's blowing and just acknowledge that the wind's blowing that way because it's windy outside. You know, even a tree loses leaves once a year. You know, sometimes the door shuts and then another door shuts and you just open the window because you need some air. Even the softest pillow is filled with down. How come you think they put wine in bottles? So they can't spill on the floor or else they're going to put it in a bottle. Come on, people. Think. If you don't splash in the puddle, it's just a pool of water. It would honestly make more sense than everything that Dr. V was saying last night. She also came out looking like she was a pinup model, which I suppose there's nothing wrong with that if you're a therapist. Nothing says you can't give out good therapy and look sort of semi-sexy, but honestly, Dr. V, you're trying too hard. You're trying too hard. Just like she was on that show, you know, and she actually seems like a girl that I would love to hang out with, have some martinis with, laugh our asses off because I really love a sexually overactive, insecure, smart ass who's got a brain for a friend. And I think that she does. But it's just hard to take anybody that glaringly insecure seriously as a therapist. I just can't. It's not even about the insecurities, it's just that I felt like when she came onto the stage, she felt like she had certain buzzwords and manufactured phrases and that I just thought we're just full of it. I wish I'd written them down. They just sounded so ridiculous. They just sounded like a pamphlet about, you know, basic psychiatry. Well, one of my, and this kind of leads into a different subject, but one of my favorite things about this reunion was how much everybody obviously hates her now, because during the episode, they loved her. But now something has happened where they all hate her. And I don't know when that happened. I don't know if they met at some bravo function, but they all hate her now. And especially Melissa and being like, talk backy and say, well, maybe that's how you and your husband reacts, but this is me and my, it's like, honey, you're going to argue with the strength. I know. Like, like such a fucking idiot. There should be a reality show where they have shrinks in therapists and, you know, like counselors and life coaches all come through and whoever can fix these stupid people wins the prize. So I think you get Jan LaVanzant in there. You get Dr. Philly. You get Dr. V. You get the horse guy from, from Arizona. Put them all in there. And each time, they each have to go through a different person and whoever can semi fix them or get Teresa to be somewhat, you know, accountable for her actions wins, you know, $10,000. Well, this was Teresa's best reunion of all time. I mean, let's talk about getting trained like they must have hired that horse person. It's like, if they can break a horse, maybe he can break Teresa, just like work with her shin or some shit for a month. I don't know what happened there. I've never seen Teresa that. I think they, they probably had Melissa Gorga lift up Teresa's foot and wipe the shit off of it. Did it until Teresa stopped kicking? You got it. It's like, cool. Right. You got to bring the evidence. What? Where did she learn that word? Like, how is this happening? What's happening to Teresa? I don't know. Did Joe, did Joe, do you guys say anything funny? Oh, I think he had like the shits at one point, right? Didn't he? Yeah, that was like a little interstitial. He had to go. Yeah. And they showed a really hilarious clip of him and Rosie. Oh, yeah, that they were like buddy buddy, which is hilarious, which I love. I was, that whole section, I was laughing my ass off, so I, it was actually kind of fun for me because it reminded me that New Jersey is a very funny show when it's on its game. Yeah. And I think that they could have struck that balance this year, but it's just, it would be a different show. I mean, you follow around Joe and Rosie and Richie, who didn't even have the balls to show up, which I thought was hilarious. I think, I think this show needs new blood. We've said it before. We'll say it again. We have another, we have a part two coming up, which I don't know if it's going to be 90 minutes or an hour, but I guess they're going to have more talk about the lawsuits and, I don't know, I don't know what's going to happen. I wish Danielle stopped and showed up. I'm just so glad that this is the last time we have to sit through Caroline, Jackie, who has nothing to say, possibly Teresa, if she doesn't get thrown in jail or whatever. It's just, it's old, you know, and like Kathy found her voice, and you know what, just like every other housewife who found her voice, don't use it. Just be quiet. Yeah. You're not here because you have a voice. You're here because you ride a bike like Angela Lansbury and murder she wrote and it's cute. Just be quiet. Yeah. Make a tunnel. Shut up. Well, I think this is the last we'll be singing of Kathy too. Yep. I was surprised she even got on to this season. Anyway, I don't think I have any other thoughts on Jersey. I can't remember anything else. There's really not much. I mean, there was Jackie's talking about it. I mean, Jacqueline talking about her kid, Caroline talking about her non-affaire, Melissa still is not a stripper. Melissa talking about her music career, as though it's a serious thing, kills me. I think that's hilarious every time I last. Oh God. I think I zoned that part out. I guess the only other part that really struck me is Kathy sticking up for Richie, like, oh, he's just being funny. You know, a lot of times I can take that, but he really is a nasty on Twitter, like calling women bitches and like calling after all these chicks on Twitter. Yeah, he does cross the line a few times. I mean, the good news is that even though he is like a disgusting pig, on the other hand, I actually feel like he's semi-bright and I do think he's a good guy deep down and he's had enough moments where I like him that I give him a little bit of a pass, but there are definitely things that he should not be saying and doing and he needs to get a swift slap on the ass. Yeah, he needs to learn to keep it quiet over there. But yeah, I mean, otherwise, I don't really have a whole lot to say about Jersey. I hope it picks up for the last episode because the housewives, like two housewives shows this week and they were both, and you know what, we're really not that kind of podcast. It's like, this is terrible. Yeah, we really like these shows. Yeah. Yeah. And it's a shame when they are both bad at the same time. It really is. So what about Top Chef? Did you see the Top Chef premiere? I did. I loved it. Yeah. So good. So good. Congratulations. Yeah. And I love that they really localize that show with whatever city it takes place in. I think that that's so great. Yes. I agree. Were there any contestants that you liked or disliked? You know, I don't really even remember them at this point. I remember that one of them is the blonde girl who is best friends with the winner of last season. Right. That got kicked off in like the first episode. They gave her another chance, which is nice because she looks like a really don't fuck with me kind of lesbian girl. So I kind of like that. Who else is there? There are like these two local guys. I remember when I watched it, I had there some that I right away liked and some that I right away did not like. And of course, at this point, I can't remember any of them. I'm going to bring up the website and maybe that will help a little bit. Yeah. There was like the local guy who wouldn't shut up and he's going to be obnoxious and hard to watch. What did you think about them letting letting the contestants see the deliberate, the judges deliberations? They only showed them the initial part, right? Did they get to watch the whole thing? Well, one thing that happened, well, so previously on the show, what happens is they eat the food and while they're eating the food, they usually talk about their reactions right off the bat. You know, we usually see them talking about like their responses at the event. And then we go to the judges table and the judges table, they call in their favorites. They're usually their first, their favorites and then their least favorites and then there's more deliberations. And I think this time around, we saw deliberations and then the judges call people in and then I think we went to eliminations. I could be wrong, but I think that's what happened. I like to see as many deliberations as possible. I do too because we don't get to taste the food. So it's only way we ever really know what the hell's going on. Yeah, I agree. Oh, you know what? What did you think about the gay chef? I feel like once again, gays, well, there's two, there were two this time. There was one, and by the way, there was one really hot guy, I think from Vermont, which I'm trying to find him on, you know, they always look so different on the, uh, on the website. Oh, his name is Brett Palagi. He barely got any screen time, but he was like in the background at all times and he looked super hot. And then the other, the gay guy though is Benedetto Bartolota. Did he get kicked off this week? No, the one who got kicked off was someone who like went to Thailand to fight. He's like, all I do was fight and cook. He's just gayish. Now there's this. Oh, you know what I like? I like Shirley Chung. She's the Asian one. I like her. There is this asshole. I'm sorry, we, we, I lost you for a second. So who now? There's the hot guy who's the douche. His name is Jason Sichonsky. He's like the blonde guy, but he's like, yeah, and he doesn't cook. No. Again, like I've said this before on the show, but your body looks amazing. Sorry about your face. Like your attitude is really shitty for someone who's like only moderately cute. Like get over yourself. I think he's pretty hot. He's hot. He's hot. I'm sorry. He's got a good like chiseled face with a good, nice. I don't think he's ugly. I just don't think he's as hot as he seems to think he is. I think like he's one of those people who works out a lot. So he just thinks he's hot when he's kind of a B-D-eyed cross eyed little fucker and he needs to be matched to people. The woman who won this week was Nina Compton and she is from St. Lucia, but every time, I didn't realize until now, I was like, what country is she from? Because I thought she was saying, St. Lucia, and I was like, I don't know of a country named St. Lucia. Am I like, have I become dumb? Have I stopped knowing countries on this globe? But now I see it's from St. Lucia, which makes sense. Well, I don't even know that because I have not seen that on House Hunters International and that is where my education comes from. That's, you know, and you're right to do that because that's the best way to learn about every exotic location that has palm trees. Now, there's this woman, Sarah Johannes, or Johannes, she's the one who's like, I work at the airport and I just want to do this because I just wanted to get out from my boss's shadow and he's like, well, who's your boss? Wolfgang Pock. I like shut up. Don't do that. Yeah, but you know what, anybody who works in a California pizza kitchen can say that. Give me the Wolfgang Pock Cafe. Well, isn't California pizza kitchen his? No. No. It's not. What is his? Doesn't he have like a pizza place or something? Wolfgang Pock Cafe. Oh, it's just called Wolfgang Pucks. Yeah. So yeah, any old busboy could come on the show and say that. Like get over it and stop dressing like you're in 1950. I know. Stop with that. I'm not into the rockabilly thing. I find it to be very annoying. That was a time before women had equal rights. It's a time when everybody just ate better all the time and nobody trimmed their pubic hair. Why do we need to return there? Can we just let it go? Yeah. Now, there's this one woman, Janine Booth, who's like, looks like Carrie Underwood. And she was basically in like a mini skirt and heels in the kitchen. Oh, she's the obligatory. She's the obligatory. Everyone hyped me because I'm so pretty. So shut up. But at least she is hot. Remember Casey from a few seasons ago? And she's like, well, somewhere along the way, I got labels, the hot one, which I really don't appreciate. No, Casey. You're not the hot one. Yeah. No one has ever used that. I mean, literally it was summer, like it was summer and you were in the 105 degree heat and you came in purple and people said, Oh, my God, she's hot. Like they thought like you were temperature wise, hot, like they thought you were running a fever. They know what actually thought you were like sexy, Casey. Yeah. You sat on the oven when it was turned on on accident. Like you were hot. By the way, this is sort of tangential to this, but it pertains to top chef. Which is, have you seen those awful, awful commercials for who knows what? Which has Carla and Rocco's faces put on to like little kids' bodies and they talk about eating macaroni or something? No. Oh, yes. Oh, those are the worst. They are the creepiest. And you know, I got one to put on Instagram, but I couldn't even think of a caption. Like I couldn't even think of a bitchy caption to put on it because it's that fucking creepy. Here's the way that commercial sucks. Here are the different ways. First of all, it's creepy to look at. Second of all, they're bad actors. Second, third of all, their reparté is very poorly written. So it's like not even, it's just terrible. And so on top of that, you have the bad acting. It's horrific. Third of all, they obviously film this on a green screen or whatever. They don't even sync it up so the timing sounds like a normal banter. It's like Carla says something like, "Hey, can I see that?" And then there's like a three second pause and Rocco's like, "No." It's awkward and creepy and terrible. And on top of that, I don't even know what it's for. It's like soup or something. I think. I thought it was like pasta, like Bertolie or macaroni and cheese. I don't know. It's honestly what the worst commercial on here right now. It's really hard to watch it. It's really an awkward, awkward thing to have to watch. Because Carla's kind of homely anyway and then Rocco's fallen from grace a little bit. And it's just kind of like, "Why do you need to make these too creepy?" Or you don't. You just have them cook something and just stop, stop. Yeah, we don't need to see what they would look like as children with adult heads. Yeah, I don't need to see that. It just makes me hate children even more. Okay, so what about, I don't hate children. I don't know why I said that. I feel like on this show, I seem like I would hate children. But I don't. I really like them. I actually generally dislike children. I dislike children. That's why every, once every six weeks or eight weeks or so, I pop up on... 2020 or on Nightline or on MSNBC and they share the video of me rolling my eyes at a baby crying. Do you know about that? No. You don't know about this? No. One time I was on an airplane and I was behind this toddler that was crying and crying and screaming. Four and a half hours went by and the parents did nothing. This was not the toddler's fault to be honest. The parents just sat there and I remember the dad did a crossword puzzle and the mom was like reading a book. They acted as if they didn't have a toddler. They had like a glass of soda there, you know? They didn't take the kid walking around or anything. It was so annoying that at one point I took out my laptop and I turned on the webcam and I recorded just me reacting to this baby. So when you see the video, you can hear this baby crying and you see me like rolling my eyes and be like, "Ugh." So I just made this little video, I put it on YouTube and somehow it got picked up by CNN and CNN did a story about like, you know, traveling, et cetera, et cetera. So like overnight I got 40,000 views and shitload of comments and now it's like the go to video for producers. If they ever are doing a story about traveling, it's like, "Oh, summer travel scene." Oh, hilarious. Thanksgiving. I get an email being like, "Hey, can we show this on Nightline tonight? Can we show this on 2020?" Like it's been-- That's so funny. So I was on Fox and Friends because of this video. Do you know that? No. I was a guest on Fox and Friends and they had me on there because there was some story about how certain airlines are being accused of having baby ghettos where they put all the babies in the back and whether or not this is fair and just. And so I was like, "Yeah." And they put me on against the mommy. It was amazing. Oh, God. What's she saying? She was against it but actually at the end of the day, the mommy and I were on the same wavelength which is just that we want parents to be more respectful of the people around them and take care of their kids and make sure they're not crying, make sure their kids are comfortable. Yeah. I mean, it is rough because my two nieces are pretty young and when they're babies and your baby freaks out in the middle of a store, it's mortifying. But the parents take it outside until it shuts up or they really make an effort to be good and it does make me crazy seeing parents who don't give a shit. Did you read that article that was going on around Facebook a couple of weeks ago that was, it's a blog written by a parent and he was in some store and this woman's kid was going crazy and someone made a comment to him like, "Oh, fucking kids, right?" And he, you know, he was writing this blog as a tirade against that jerk who said fucking kids, right? Like, you don't know what it's like, you with your selfish fucking life giving nothing back to the world and it was like this pro-parent blog and, you know, all my mommy friends were retweeting it and I was like, "I'm with that dude." Yeah, I'm sorry. And well, the comments on the YouTube video at first were very pro-parent, pro-baby. People were leaving stupid things that like, you know, you were a kid once also, you were a baby once as if that somehow fixes the situation like, "Oh, you know what? I forgot I was a baby at one point in my life. That's okay. Never mind. I identify with that balling and that screaming. Guess what? I was a well-mannered baby. Yeah, I was a baby and my mom had a fucking wooden spoon in the glove compartment and if I acted up I got that shit all up in my, well, not in it, but, you know, I got a red ass." Yeah, so, so a lot of the comments were like that and I got a vicious piece of hate mail once which I read on banter with Ben and Lisa. Y'all can go find that, you can find that, that episode, but um, but actually over the past year and a half the comments on YouTube have started to move the other way and now people are really like, "Shut that baby up. Stupid parents. Parents are so entitled." Because you know what, there are a lot of entitled parents out there. My video was not so much anti-baby, it was anti-bad parents. It's the parents. Yeah, really. Parents really think that they feel like we have to have a special amount of understanding for them or we don't understand how hard it is. Guess what? People have been doing this since the dawn of time. It's literally why we are here because there have been parents and we like good parents, but nowadays people are like, "I have to get my baby Bjorn out." I don't even know what that means. That's that thing where they strap it around themselves and they carry their baby around. No, I know, I'm saying I don't even know what my comment meant. I just did the drunk uncle from SNL, I was like, "Where's my baby Bjorn?" What I just said was as bad as what people say about me. The point is this, I do think a lot of parents are entitled and I think that they act as if they are at the front lines of a war and they just have to man up and do what it takes to be a parent that we don't have spoiled kids that go running around and scream all the place. Well, and then you don't have kids like Alexias who are out fucking punching homeless people in the balls and tabs and acting like a bunch of dicks because their parent, Alexia was probably one of those, like to bring it back around to Bravo shows. Yes. How do you think all these fucking morals were created by shitty parents? Absolutely. Absolutely. So on that note. So let's get back to Top Chef. Do you have more of the contestants because I like this of being reminded who the contestants are? Oh. No. Let's see. I think I've gone through all the noteworthy ones. There's some other ones. Oh, there's a guy Carlos Gaetan who, he's the one who already has a Michelin star. So here's my other thing about Top Chef. Here's another thing. It's awesome that they're getting these chefs who have Michelin stars, but at what point did they stop being Top Chef worthy? Like if you have a Michelin star, shouldn't that like gets you and they're running for Top Chef masters? Like I feel like Top Chef should be a place for up and coming chefs. Back in the day it was they had a culinary student, they had a caterer, they had people who were just cook from home, they had amateurs, and it's fun to see who would emerge. Now they all are very professional. And now when they have Michelin stars, and this is not the first season that it's happened, I wonder at what point like what's the delineation between Top Chef and Top Chef masters? Well, I think they're cutting it close. I think on Top Chef masters, they're just allowed to be boring at this point. You know, they're like a classier group where if someone has a Michelin star on Top Chef, they've probably got like a crazy edge to them where they're like, well, let's throw them in there, they'll act like an asshole. But also, I think the biggest difference between when this show started and what it is now, and it really is a huge difference, is that now there are agents, every chef has an agent, and they go, all they really do is go on these reality shows like Frank from season two of Top Chef. He was terrible, I mean, he was awful, it put a bad taste in your mouth to even look at his food. It was disgusting, he's like doesn't know what he's doing. He doesn't know how to talk, like he's just a fucking idiot, this guy. I see him on the food network all the time, he's one of the chefs who gets kicked off of Chef Wanted with Amberrell, and he's one of the chefs that gets kicked off of Chopped or whatever it is. Like his whole career is going around pretending he's an amateur or whatever on these stupid cooking shows, and so the casting, they don't do the same thing where they say we're going to have auditions and cooks from all over the place, come. It's like now we're having a casting call and have your agent call us. Absolutely. Absolutely. And how's an Applebee's chef supposed to get an agent? Question for the ages, and I think on that question and on that note, I think we should wrap things up. All right, let's do it. Yeah, I'm not a whole lot happened just because it was the first Top Chef. Yeah, it takes a few weeks to sort of get into the characters and for us to start really bitching about these people in a fun way. So anyway, this has been a super fun podcast, it's fun to get back to our basics, sorry for those of you who want to see our faces. If you want, you can just open up an international mail catalog and that's a good approximation of what you would be seeing. Soaps. Yeah. And also, we'll still do the occasional like special event thing, you know. We're still thinking of ways where we can do have a video presence, but you know, we've experimented with different things and we're going to see what we can do to make it stick in a way that also won't burn us out. So in the meantime, you can follow Ronny at trash tweet TV on Twitter. His website is trashtalktv.com. You can find me @bsideblog on Twitter and Instagram and all those fun places. And my website is bsideblog.com. And please follow us or like us on Facebook, facebook.com/watchworkrap and a lot of people are on there. There's over 2,000 likes, which is amazing and people are like active and talk and they put gossip up there. We put pictures and screen grabs up there. So there's content all week long that you should be following and enjoying and taking part of and contributing to. And feel free to leave us a review on iTunes and remember to subscribe on iTunes and on SoundCloud or Stitcher, wherever you want. We need more subscribers that we people think were important and then we get access to cool things. Yeah. And then the cool things we then of course, we'll report back to you guys back here. So tell your friends if you have it on SoundCloud, put it on, share it on Facebook, make sure everyone knows because we're desperate. We need to be loved. So on that note, thanks everyone so much for listening and I guess we'll chat next week. Bye Ronny. See you next time. Bye Ben. Bye. Bye. If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the internet. The folks behind the sideshow network have launched a new YouTube channel called Wait For It. It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza Schleichinger, Slicing Driving Friends with it for 10 years. 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If you like Watchbook Crapins, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at Wondery.com/survey. In a quiet suburb, a community is shattered by the death of beloved wife and mother. But this tragic loss of life quickly turns into something even darker. Her husband had tried to hire a hitman on the dark web to kill her. And she wasn't the only target. Because buried in the debt to the internet is the Kill List, a cache of chilling documents containing names, photos, addresses, and specific instructions for people's murders. This podcast is the true story of how it ended up in a race against time to warn those who lives were in danger. And it turns out convincing a total stranger someone wants them dead is not easy. Follow Kill List on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. 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