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This episode is brought to you by Squarespace, the all-in-one platform that makes it fast and easy to create your own professional website or online portfolio. For a free trial and 10% off, go to squarespace.com/watchworkcrapids and use the offer code CRAP8. Hey everyone, welcome to Watch What Crap Inz, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo, that's you and we love so dearly. I'm Ben Mandelker from BsideBlog.com. You can find me @BsideBlog on Twitter and Instagram and Vine, et cetera, et cetera. Pretty much any social media platform. And joining me this week, as always, is the trusty and hilarious and wonderful Ronnie Kim from TrashTalkTV.com. Thanks for watching. Some of the reasons why I was like, "Well, I'm definitely going to be at this podcast," because I thought Matt was going to be the reunion of the three of us because our schedules have been so wonky for the past three or four weeks. But it looks like it's just doing me today. Yeah, we've been in and out of town, blah, blah, blah, so we haven't all three been on. But we all three were going to be here, but Matt works for Yahoo, which is a big blog. So he has to do important things like worry about any coverage and whose dress is going to be mean about. Yeah. And he's literally writing coverage about Emmy, Mick Adams, bravano. That's Yahoo's mandate. It's to write about Emmy. Our listener, yeah. Yahoo! Okay. So let us talk about some Bravo shows, Shower. Yes, please. What have you watched? Because you're the one who's been out of town. Did you watch Eat Drink Love? I did not watch Eat Drink Love because, let me tell you something, I keep forgetting that's on Thursday nights. And I was at my parents' place in New York for like two weeks and I kept forgetting to set my DVR. I was like, it's okay, I'll just download it off the internet because that's secret. That's what I do. I sort of, when I'm traveling, I'll just download it off of BitTorrent. Eat Drink Love is so unpopular, the pirates don't even want it. I can't download that shit. So I just have to assume that Cattle Dells had more stupid things. The private chef was like, gruevie, Brenda was bitter, Whelan was like, oh, the chef likes me and the other girl was fired. So I assume that's just what happened, right? Well that little girl got fired and they went on this trip. Did you see the one where they went on the trip? No. And then Whelan, the little, I call her Alex P. Keaton. That's what my friend Nadine who works on the show calls her because she's all business all the time. She gets fired from her job and they go on some trip that cat gets for free because of her blog, Eater LA. How does Eater LA afford to send five women to fucking Saint Santina's Valley in their own private home for two days? I doubt it. I'm so sorry. I mean, I know they're popular, but we all know how difficult it is to make money on a damn blog. And that's a bullshit right there. Yeah, I agree. Like a big, beautiful home in the country. And of course they all hate each other because no one really even knows each other. And Alex P. Keaton brings like white onion dip or like white bean dip or some shit from Walmart and then the big donut lady is like, oh my God, this is like such white trash dip. It's delicious. It's white trash deliciousness. She's like, look at me being ironic. Yeah. She's like, I'm not 45 or whatever, like she's struggling so hard to be like not 45. And then Alex P. Keaton starts sobbing and crying because she was mean to her for calling her dead white trash. And then the episode was about that. That was a fight. I actually feel like I would have really, really enjoyed that because if you had told me that there was an episode about Walmart white bean dip that was going to cause controversy. I'd be like, I'm there. I am so there. I've been there. I've been there. I know what it's like to have a controversial dip. I mean, it was hilarious and she's like, I wasn't calling you white trash. I was calling the dip white trash. I'm not going to apologize for calling the dip white trash. Like, I'm sorry I hurt your feelings, but that's on you. And then Alex P. Keaton's like, that was so selfish. It's just started crying and then I'm not really five year old. It's like, I cannot believe I'm fighting about death. And that was pretty much all she. Well, okay. So I did not see that show, which is too bad because it was a big dip controversy. I did watch Jersey and I watched Miami and that's the only stuff I'm bravo I got to see this week. So did you watch those shows? Okay, well, we also have to talk about Tamara's wedding. Okay. Guess how that was. You didn't watch it. So just guess how that ended with sex and a recreational vehicle. No, they actually did it in their hotel room that was free. Really? I hope a hazmat team went in there afterwards. Well, we got to see Tamara put on a dress and Tamara get her vagina waxed. This is crazy, this is crazy, right? Yeah, we got to see where all the fat guys in California go. Oh, see, by moving, I'm so moving there growing what Hera have left and combing it all over to the front to like a weird bowhawk thing, like that weird guy friend of hers. So she got married and it was really hard for her to be nice and the whole time she was saying things like this is like a little girl's dream. This wedding is like a dream. It's like what I dreamed of when I was a little girl. The third time over. Yeah. I think I said really weird things like I was so impressed with the wedding, you know? I mean, I just assumed Tamara's more mediocre, but you know, you can tell she had a wedding planner. It's like, damn. That bravo paper the wedding planner because of Tamara paper wedding planner, it'd be like a Harley Davidson theme with free tattoos in the corner and like corn dogs before the geometry, which by the way, I would not turn down the corn dog wedding. I just went to one of those a few weeks ago. So let's talk about shows you did watch. So real housewives in New Jersey, how did you feel? Did you feel for Kathy and her cannoli kits? I always feel for Kathy and her cannoli kits. I thought this episode was like forgettable. You know how forgettable it was? I watched it like about four hours ago. And I don't remember anything that happened. I know that Kathy went to Dylan's candy bar. Let's see. Let's see if I can jog my memory. So Kathy went to Dylan's candy bar. How did it have the episode even begin? Oh, Melissa's musical career has suddenly returned to light and now she's having fake meetings with Justin Timberlake's manager. So that's hilarious. Who's already like semi abusive? Okay. This guy's like in his 50s wearing a plastic jacket has so much filler in his face. He looks like Caroline Manza. Well, she doesn't really have a lot of. She looks more like. She has mozzarella in there. Yeah. Yeah. She's got some melting mozzarella like fresh fresh buffalo mozzarella. It's like melting. Yeah. Delicious. Well, he's round is what I'm trying to say. He's like big round and puffy, like a basketball kind of. Yeah. And he's like Justin Timberlake's music producer. She named all these people was like JT Acon, Michael Jackson, Janet Jackson. You see how much I know music? I'm bringing up Michael and Janet Jackson. That's how current I am. That's okay. That's okay. Like Lady Gaga. See, I still don't know. I can't even fake it. But anyway, what's he doing with Melissa Gorga? She said he just heard some of her songs and wanted to be a part of them. Yeah. That's bullshit. That's like, Hey, you know what? I'm tired of making other people famous. I want to be on TV for a little bit and Bravo is paying me some money. So I'm going to entertain this ridiculous thought that Melissa Gorga could be a pop singer, which she can't be. I think she sounds the best of all the real housewives who've gone on to sing. She actually has, I think the best voice. But it's actually like the guy said, like her music is all about like, I'm in the club, like whatever, but she's like a wifey, like a housewife. That doesn't match. Yeah. It doesn't match. And I don't appreciate you saying that she's the best singer of all the housewives. I totally disagree. What about I want to marry you, let's get married, how well I found. And truly, how can I forget Candy Burris. Riley, I did a good just song to Riley. See, some other songs for Riley. You can have another serving, Riley, even though the box says you shouldn't, Riley. Not really. So Melissa Gorga, okay, so this guy, this music producer obviously hates her. He's semi abusive. He's like a verbally abusive husband already, and they just met. He's like, yeah, listen, the music industry, don't give a fuck about your keys. It just cares that you're singing all the time, sing. He's like, well, but I'm a mom, so he's like, why don't you come down to Orlando? There's something about the idea of like, you're going to come with me to Orlando that makes it sound like murder is imminent. Right. Or I feel you. I think of like, I think of backseat fucking because I know three strippers in real life, and they're all from Florida, everyone. So whenever I think of Florida, I think of these poor girls, these poor teenage girls being forced to strip at a young age and like giving blood jobs in the back of rented limits. And that's what I picked during from Melissa. Sorry, Mel. Man. Yeah. Yeah. So he also, you also know he hates her not only because he looks at her with complete disdain and basically said he hates her, but he's making her sing an actual song with like notes and stuff. It's not just like, yo, yo, yo, and we're down in the club lights. Like an actual, like beautiful, yeah, it makes me think that, it makes me think that Luan actually, Countess Luan may have actually got it all figured out. Oh, it's like paranormal activity over there on your camera. Sorry. Luan's got a better angle. Okay. Because Luan was like, you know what? I'm not going to bother even singing. I'm just going to speak things like a gay man and people will just have to accept it. And you know what? You can't, you can't say she has a bad voice because she doesn't even bother singing on her tracks. Yeah. She has a love, you know, you listen to Luan's song and you're like, God, that woman should get a divorce over is what a lovely voice. Yeah. She should be doing accurate commercials. Totally. That Luan, she really knows how to sell a car. She really could, she could sell a luxury car like the best in my bet. Yeah, I think she could too. She was like that guy from Mad Men, Roger. He's on those cars. Yeah, I feel, I feel like Luan, I could imagine her carrying well with like one of those Lexus commercials where they put wine glasses on the hood. And Luan talks about the smooth ride of a Lexus. You can buy a ride, but you can't buy a classy ride. Wait, that doesn't make sense. Of course you can. Glass doesn't buy you cars. You can buy a ride, but not class. Yeah. Yeah. There you go. You see? There you go. That's why you can afford to go to Palm Springs. Because you're a commercial rider. I'm a loser. Who are you there with? Michelle Collins. I saw on the Facebook. Who else? No, it's actually just the two of us. It's honestly, it's impromptu and that's going to be fun. I mean, it is fun already. It's like 100 degrees out here. I'm in a tank top. I'm drinking them. Yeah. I have to say, you are getting some use out of that tank top. I bought that tank top with you at Target and you are getting some use out of that tank. I love this tank top. This tank top came out during Gay Pride weekend and I was very happy with the results. Yeah. I am getting a lot of use out of my Mickey Mouse shirt that I bought on a trip I wore in all the time. Just in case anyone is wondering. Oh, because I didn't do the product. I've worn it. I've worn it on here. I'll show it to you. I said I'd like to see Mickey Mouse in a tank. Oh, no. I'm going to need a while before I get a tank. Right now I've got anti arms. I keep saying, you know what's funny? I keep saying, I want to see Mickey Mouse in a tank but you keep on thinking I'm talking about you. No, I thought you meant like I want I want to see Mickey Mouse as a tank. I guess I was thinking. I was like, I'm wearing a Mickey Mouse tank. I'm like, Ronnie. You're definitely a tank top without being in a Mickey Mouse tank top. It's like that creepy guys. Creepy. Oh my God. Now he's in a Mickey Mouse tank top. That is triple creepy. Call the police. I bought my own website recently before I knew about Squarespace and it was a total paint. I had to learn all this coding, all this HTML. It was one of the hardest things in my life. The remaining follicles I had left on the top of my head are now gone. So thanks a lot Internet. But thanks to Squarespace, it's all easy and now I can build a whole empire. An empire of websites you guys. Squarespace is constantly improving their platform with new features, new designs and even better support. They have beautiful designs for you to start with and all the style options you need to create a unique website for you or your business. Did you hear that? No coding. Point and click. It is incredibly easy to use but if you do need some help, Squarespace has an amazing support team that works 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. That's right. Like the emergency line. It's like you're calling 911. They are always there for you. It starts at just $8 a month. It includes a free domain name if you sign up for a year and every design automatically includes a unique mobile experience that matches the overall style of your website so your content will look great on every device every time. You're not going to have to build a separate site for that like most of us fools have to do. Start a trial with no credit card required and start building your website. When you decide to sign up for Squarespace make sure to use the offer code CRAP8 to get 10% off and to show your support for us. We thank Squarespace for their support of Watch what CRAP and you guys remember Squarespace. Everything you need to create an exceptional-- You're not in your mouth. Thank you. Thank you. That was a nice break. Okay, so Melissa's music career is terrible so that's nothing new. Let's talk about Jacqueline having to give a speech. Jacqueline is going to give a speech at this autistic event for whatever, raising money for autism or something. Be a blackwater. Be a blackwater. Be a blackwater. Hey everyone, buy this hideous product and then it'll go to charity. Yeah, so that's certainly a thing to try and sell blackwater is that they're using it. They're saying like a part of the proceeds goes to an autism charity which Jacqueline just happens to have started. So she's saying all these people are on Twitter bashing her because she's using autism as a way to further her career. Well Jacqueline, you're selling a product, you're selling a product that you're profiting from that benefits a charity that you're profiting from. How is that not using autism to profit? Hello? That requires too much logic for her to process. She lost the lats of her logic cells with her tummy talk because they're all in the stomach. She thought with her stomach. Here's an idea. Here's an idea. If you want to raise money for charity, don't raise the money by hawking an underperforming product, okay? Don't sell the most disgusting type of water and hope it's going to raise money. You know what you do? Buy some Snicker of Bars and then you can raise some money. Just sell them with little kids that appear out of nowhere that have boxes of Snicker Bars for some reason and like we'd like to sell you some Snicker's Bars. That's what you should do to raise money for autism. Don't sell water that is black, the totally unnatural color of water. It's like the reverse of Pepsi Clear except not as cool. Yeah and it's like you're promoting health by selling muddy water. It just doesn't make any sense. I still don't understand why. I think that black water is so terrible and it was selling so poorly that they're using autism to guilt people into buying black water and then they're profiting both ways. They should just sell some of that famous Caface egg salad for charity and I'm talking of it raising a million dollars because everyone knows Caface is where you go for the egg salad. That's an egg salad and mozzarella. Well Jackie is crying about having to give a speech and she's so nervous about giving a speech and all I could think to myself was I think that the audience is going to be so completely impressed that such an obviously autistic woman is not only reading from a cute card but she did her week. I don't see why she's so nervous. I see auto success in that speech. How do you like exist on a reality show and make public appearances and then be nervous about public speaking? I just don't understand that especially when there's like 30 people in the audience and half of them are your family. I guess if you're an idiot. Yeah I was going to go into a longer answer but I think that that one's actually perfect. So there was that so they played basketball and then Teresa helped with the speech which the best part of the show was Chris cracking up that Teresa was actually helping anyone speak. Well Teresa liked the speech maker. She should be like I wish I could remember a famous speech maker. What's his name? The guy who worked for Nixon I forgot his name but Teresa is like yeah yeah put that in. Put that in. She's like well sometimes I wake up in the morning I'm tired. Yeah put that in. Put that in too. Yeah that sounds good. That sounds good. That sounds good. People can relate to that. You wake up in the morning. That sounds good. Put that in. Everyone wakes up in the morning. Everyone wakes up. Yeah that's good. So you heard that the mantels are getting their own spin off right? No. Hello. Have you up and visiting our Facebook page ban? It's on there like 20 times. I've been barely keeping up. I'm telling you okay people of the internet know this. After next weekend I will be fully mentally there but right now I was in New York for two and a half weeks and now I'm in bomb springs and this weekend I'm going to Portland for a wedding. And then after that no more traveling and once that's over then I'll be able to truly focus on our Facebook page and all the fun things. But now I'm going to read that. The mantels are getting a spin off called "Mantode with Children". I think that should have been called "Mantsarella" and "Spaghetti" or something like that. "Ham" and it should have been called "Ham and tomato sauce". "Manso with Children" like that's not even like a good punish. It should have been like "Potatoes in the attic". Who's the...? Because we know that those brothers are going to be secretly making out between takes. I don't say it should have been called like "Who's the manza" or something like that. Or like "Manzo" I feel like a woman. "Manzo ball soup". "Manzo ball soup" I'm not a boy, not yet a manzo. What about the sixth manzo? What about the "Ile of Manzo"? What about "Manzo" on a wire? Oh God. What about three manzo's and a little lady? Three manzo's and a little manzo. Three manzo's and another manzo. How about police academy menzo? "The Naked Manzo" what about down out of Beverly Manzo? I'm just going through 80s movies. Remancing them manzo. And they're all better than that. They're all... Every one of those is better than that. Well actually it would be Maryl B. Children, right? So it would have to be TV shows. It would have to be like "Facts of Manzo's". No, I'm just... Right now I'm actually on a little bit of a bedmiddler of manzo puns free show. Down out of Beverly Manzo I've done ruthless manzo and I've done big manzo. So outrageous manzo's for the manzo's. Oh, you've named all of them. You've named all the good bedmiddler movies. Now we would have to come to the new ones which are just terrible like that one with Billy Crystal. Yeah, what was that one again? Killing manzo? Killing manzo. Oh, kill. Now that I would watch. Killing manzo. Yeah. Each week they just chase Lauren and she's like "I thought I was more in shape than this!" Every week she has two hours to find an RV that she can lock herself into. Right. And then her mom just circles it over and over and calling her an asshole for a whole hour. So what? Tell manzies. Caroline was barely in this episode by the way. Thank God. One of the things she did in this episode was promote her goddamn son's business like usual and then flake out and cap these things with her fake. How did she promote her son's business? Because she showed up to the autism event which was a black event where they were all wearing the caps and the shirts and stuff that said BLK. That's right. That's right. And she had a migraine. She always gets migraines. She has to be nice to somebody else. Fucking lame. Yeah. I'll give you a migraine. Okay, so the other big thing that happened, the other significant thing was that Melissa and Joe went out to dinner and guess who happened to be at the exact same restaurant and who happened to have a microphone already on her? Wasn't that crazy? Henny. Who would have thought? Who would have thought she was fully mic'd up already and she went at the same restaurant? That was crazy. Well, little junior midget Joe was hilarious how he was talking about her. Like who would put out these twinners, a woman who looks like that? Just look at that woman. That being said, I had to say I'm kind of loving Penny. I've loved all the ancillary characters on New Jersey because they're so ridiculously Jersey-ish that you can't help but just be totally entertained by them. And Penny is like, she's got like a horse's mane of blonde hair and her face has been in like, it's like, I think she spent three hours making out with like a tanning bed light or something like that. It's weather. It's weather. She's probably like an ancillary. Yes. Yes. It looks like her face was like left out in the sun and then like rubbed over a fence post like they do in Texas to weather your leather cap, your couch leather. Oh, yeah. Most certainly. They've studied her face as to how to make better footballs. Okay. Well, I also love that her hair that's pulled back is one color and then her ponytail is like an obviously different color. It's like a plastic. Yeah. Yeah. She's a national treasure. But that being said, that ponytail looked like a uniform at the hula hut. So here's the thing with Penny. Okay. Her husband is this Jimmy the Greek or whatever his name is, Frank. Johnny the Greek. Oh, go fuck it up. He will fuck your life about Twitter. Jimmy the Greek. Jimmy the Greek was a famous like gambling, like, excuse you had to do with gambling or something like that. He was from the 80s. He's a sportscaster. So. He was. Jimmy. Jimmy the Greek was not Johnny the Greek. Oh, I was going to say it. Wow. It just gives credibility to Johnny the Greek. Johnny the Greeks of fat bastard has been following the show around three years trying to get on camera and sending nasty tweets for years trying to get somebody to get them on camera and nobody would until this year fucking Melissa fell for it. Well, stupid. So here's the thing though. So the big fight that had been a news that's gone to court and all the stuff where like Joe Gorga and Chris Loretta like pulled out sinks and threw them. What happened at Penny Salon as allegedly because Johnny the Greek said something disparaging about Nicholas's autism. And there's been speculation that we're not going to get to see that fight or if we do see that fight, Johnny the Greek is going to be cut out of the episode entirely. I think I'm going to make it sound like someone else said it like easily the rumors that are online. But as you know, we've already had the big trip which signifies that we're usually like three quarters away through the season or four fifths, even perhaps 80% and episode 16 or 17. Yeah. So we're heading we're in the final stretch here and we've now been formally introduced to Johnny the Greek via this episode. Do we think or do you think that we're going to actually get to see this brawl happen? It sounds like they're almost setting it up. We're going to see the fight in some way because they show it next week. They show that next week they're at yet because you watched on bit torrents. They probably didn't have this part. No, no, no. I watched this one actually on on proper on DVR, but no, they talked about the Posh 2 opening with a party. They showed Kim D and she was talking about her Posh 2 opening and then they show them at the this opening and Penny's there and they start fighting, but. But I thought that's not what it is. 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You know what's a great night for us ordering DoorDash and cuddling up to watch the max original hacks. Which won best comedy deservedly so and we'd love tuning in to see not only icon Gene Smart but the wonderful and incomparable Rose Abdu who also is a huge Bravo fan. Listen I'm always in the mood for hacks but you never know what kind of food I'm in the mood for it sometimes it's pizza sometimes it's a salad and I can get both with DoorDash. How about some ice cream that's what I like to eat with my hacks. A hundred percent I will double dash I will get a salad and then double dash some ice cream why not. Sign up for a Dash Pass annual plan and get max included at no extra cost. It's your door to more. Max is now included with your Dash Pass annual plan. Stream max with ads up to $120 value included at no extra cost. Terms apply see door dash dot com slash max for details. Oh I don't think so well I thought I have I mean I think you're thinking because of Ceylon but I think they were talking about posh because maybe posh is at the maybe the posh is at the Ceylon who knows the way they do shit in Jersey there's probably a car wash of Ceylon a fucking fat burger it's all like in one little store you know Danielle stops plastic surgeon. Yeah but there that whole thing was ridiculous and of course Melissa's like well hello it's so crazy to see you here so you know when we have that talk the other day it felt like you were holding something back and then he's like I was she's like okay well you know who told you that and then Joe's like hey yeah let's just put this to rest all right bitch you know I'll show you I'll show you the messages I'll show you my I'll show you my contacts on my phone are you want to see them I'll show you them I'll see you there yeah. What does that prove that you have Teresa's phone number what does that prove exactly she's friends with all of Teresa's friends if she showed them texts or emails that would be proof but showing that she has her number is not proof it proves nothing but this is Melissa and Joe that we're talking about and if she handed them a dinner roll and said this is proof that I know Teresa they'd be like oh yeah that's pretty convincing considering you weren't here last week but we were talking about how that tweet that they were fighting about last week in Arizona where Joe's like Joe don't fucking panic this shot the fuck like throwing his glass well that tweet he was referencing was posted like nine months before that shoot date so they the producers just obviously were like well you know I know this has already passed well let's talk about it now so all of that stuff like the timeline was all someone post I'm sorry I'm not remembering who posted it but they just stupid house wise I don't remember he did it but there was a timeline about what it was and an Arizona was posted way after all the penny stuff had already happened so well this is stuff has already happened in show time the show is struggling to create birth through line and I think that whenever one of these shows has to rely so much on stuff that happened on Twitter it's not going to read as well for the audience because that's like all the drama that comes from what people tweeted or didn't tweet it's it's it's so superficial and petty like I think that we as the audience get into the drama that feels more organic and real and based on like true like a like a real argument like a real personal thing you know like when Kim and Kyle Richards had their big fight at the season finale of the first season of Beverly Hills when did I find that limousine that was like real that was like really about like stuff that went back 20 years and it was compelling and also honestly the way like that came and Camille had a fight that season I don't know why keep going back to Beverly Hills season one but like they had a fight and it was compelling or Jill's Aaron and Bethany like that was like a real they had a real ripped in their friendship and they were dealing with it and that's relatable but when people are talking about like well you tweeted this or you said this in in touch magazine it it's like a very thin source of drama it doesn't really resonate I feel like well especially in this case because this wasn't even something that they tweeted this is that fat bastard Johnny the Greek and his hag wife with her hay hair like who even cares about them why are we even talking about them and it's all the root of evil Melissa that is what it all is it's Melissa bringing old shit into the picture so literally ridiculous and he looks like feces that's been sitting out for 15 days old what about Kathy so Kathy is there anything to say just that she had a thing of Dylan's candy bar and that like no one showed up and then people finally did show up I want one of her canola's I'm not gonna lie I wanted a cannoli so bad well I want any canola like have you ever seen a cannoli that you were like oh I don't want that you want a cannoli I don't want a cannoli that's filled with penny aka old shit that's been sitting out for 15 days yeah good point good point but I don't think you're selling those but yeah I wouldn't want that either but also here's what I don't get I can only kit who want okay do you know what that involves you have to like you have to take out this fucking processed piece of dough that's been shipped and God knows how long it's been stored wrap it around a metal stick heat up a pot of oil to like a certain temperature which means you have to like measure the temperature okay you gotta wait for five minutes then you got a fry it which is like another couple minutes then you got to let the oil cool down then you got to mix up the mix and put it in a dessert thing it's not easy that gets all over it then I mean what a pain in the ass why don't you just box up some fucking canola's and put your face on the box what's your bro I agree she needs to like just make them pre-made and like frozen or like put like like make the cannoli wrapper and stuff it with the shit that's inside the Cadbury creme eggs you know like that's what you got to do like no one wants to a kid I agree a hundred percent and I'd love to say like Kathy's kind of like Kathy's canola's please don't ignore them or like you know Kathy's canola's please pay attention to them and not Ben and Jerry's all the time you know like something really sad and like guilt inducing I just had an amazing idea maybe it's because I've had like my little cocktail here but hear me out okay when I was a kid I went and took a tour of the Ben and Jerry's factory in Vermont and you know they have a they have a policy you can submit flavor ideas and if they accept it then you get like a lifetime supply of it like there was like chunky monkey like a little girl who came up with that idea and I've always wanted to come up with a good ice cream idea what about cannoli ice cream that would be good I'd buy that I would a hundred percent buy ice cream that had cannoli's in it just don't tell but just don't tell Kathy about it because then she'll come out with like can make your own cannoli ice cream kit and then you'll have to fry a cannoli and mix the batter and heat the oil and make fucking ice cream to you on top of it like a three day event just like it comes with a bucket so you can go milk a cow oh my goodness so that whole Kathy's storyline is basically no one pays attention to Kathy and look I mean I think that it's it's very indicative of what the whole audience is feeling like yeah why the fuck would why would anybody pay attention to you don't do anything I love Kathy but I love Kathy I mean I should she seems so nice and stuff but I don't necessarily want to watch on TV I mean what does she even do she she gets mad when foam foam core posters of her face fall on the ground that's all she does they have pretty much she pretty much spent the entire time being like hey hey I have a voice here why is there one pay attention to me I mean I don't have a voice but I have a voice like Teresa says she's having another mosh mosh mosh mosh a moment just perfect she's like like how can all these were like at a ball like that's okay they're at a ball meanwhile meanwhile Teresa still doesn't know I was like oh that was yeah that was that was pretty hilarious Teresa's like yeah you know I'm proud of her she's got you know does she have can all these yes are they edible yeah good for her what a bitch I know she's such a bitch with her fucking everything she's gonna be she's gonna be so great in jail I really really hope that we get some documentarians in there to follow that yeah all right I think that's it for New Jersey should we go on to Miami yes please let we have anyone anyone saying anything interesting on Facebook before we transition shows um agreed Ronnie Melissa is the root of all evil we'll take you Paula Jones she totally is and I'm glad that the first thing I read was I agree Ronnie I like that wait a second ever stop stop the presses katie king I love you katie king because you made a happy endings reference in a comment section of watch what crappins number 94 and she said Derek what about Penny on the mawzing albeit recently deceased happy endings I don't know what she's talking about but katie king thank you for keeping a candle lit for happy endings my favorite comedy of the past eight years they are they were making sitcom jokes about the monzos or broken monzos what was this the caroline the city wait poor Leah Thompson I hope someone said two guys a girl in a monzo place or two monzos two manzo the girl and an egg salad place two manzo's in a lot band yeah that was Olivia Kelly that's some funny shit you guys so wait let me ask you oh people keep saying Ellen Barkin so is it Penny that looks like Ellen Barkin they had dinner with Ellen Barkin I guess she does kind of look like Ellen Barkin gross but I like Ellen Barkin so I'm gonna pretend that I didn't let's let's her purge that whoever listen Ellen Barkin does not deserve that okay yeah Penny it looks like Oscar the grouch but he just keeps going from trash can to trash can there's nothing to eat like he just keeps missing trash day she looks like a melted candle does my forehead look okay is it evening out it is lemons see how it's just colored there starting to even out because I got a set of really that's I never would have noticed um um cocktail I do too that was me slipping my cocktail I'm out I'm out don't think my laptop or you probably could but then we get cut off again I'd be left here alone nobody wants that nobody needs that all right let's go on to Miami Miami okay Miami centered around same old shit that has been centering around for weeks now so you go you leave I will leave it so uh you know last week Ronnie and I participated in a crazy circus that was Leah Black's first ever um video podcast thing it was like Ronnie and I and Lance Bass did you talk about this last week when you did it a little bit but go ahead it was it was really fun but it was like chaotic it was like crazy so uh last night I went I did the second episode with Leah and it was actually interesting it was first of all it was much less chaotic it had a little bit more of a flow but um I one of the first things that I that I asked Leah about I said Leah what's the deal with your secret wedding because on Miami Adriana pulls out an article um it was like 1990 something yeah she's like this is up to my journalistic standards um they're not the only ones who can pull out a paper she's like I read this in people's magazine I love when people pluralized it um but anyway so the article that Leah that Adriana pulls out was an article from like 1995 when someone said that Leah and her name isn't even Leah is Lisa and then they show up the article and it's Lisa Leah Black like what a dumb bitch like she was trying to hide her name like his name isn't even Bill it's William John that's not up to my standards Richard is so mean to everybody's been calling him deep behind his back it's not even his real name okay how about this I was just reading I was reading in the paper that Leah her real name so I met this girl named Lisa and her real name is Elizabeth like how about that that's not her real name that's not my standards of your your better cause some blogger and ruin their whole life and make their something their liar just another immigrant trying to get rice on her plate and change names not up to my standards this rice is not up to my standards so so anyway so but of course as the audience all you hear is Adriana saying that Leah had a secret wedding so I was like Leah what's the deal with your secret wedding she's like wow she's like so wrong I gotta love and we just didn't send out a press release I didn't know or is that made it secret and she was honestly if you go back if you want to watch the the episode it's on our Facebook page Facebook dot com forward slash watch what crappins and Leah's like very upfront about it like I have to admit like it's I I believe her and I'm not saying that because we know Leah we like her she basically was like yeah we elope we told a few people it wasn't a secret we just didn't publicize it you know but I got the impression that if someone said to Leah are you married she would have been like yeah you know well the the argument was that Leah wasn't mad that she was married she was mad that she was married and taking all this money from her now I saw what's her buns what is her name the snow globe thing nerds yeah he was on watch what happens a couple days ago or whatever and I saw she was on it so I recorded it I mean the woman is just such a fucking liar she can't keep one thing straight and then when they started asking her about about the money that Leah supposedly gave her she said that she knew Leah before she was married and she was poor and Leah bought a few of her paintings that helped her but otherwise she never gave her money and she never did that after after she was married but lied about it's like you know what they you know what I have to say though one thing that I also said on this on this podcast thing was that take away this money issue okay take away this issue that like Leah may or may not have supported her may or may not have bought these paintings who knows the point is this we saw on camera and Bravo showed us a whole montage of it of Leah making references saying like when's Frederick gonna put a ring on it when you guys gonna get engaged this the longest out of the day and Adriana just like nodding and laughing and like going along with it and the point is this regardless of the money situation Adriana was truly being deceptive like I'm sorry like she was leading Leon like why didn't she say something Leah and private being like actually got married or something like that like as a friend I would be annoyed as a friend it's like you just if you sort of there's a there was that level of deception well I wouldn't do the friendship over it I'd be like what what the hell I'd want to have like an explanation and I think that's what Leah was trying to go for once you had that meeting with Adriana and Adriana that was like you're not to my standards I'm a friend I'm sorry I'm not going to have to be a friend I'm not up your fingers so okay so in season one wasn't there something about Adriana getting a call from her ex-husband or she was saying like she got a call from the from the what was that she got a call call her ex-husband had a total double life yet a whole other wife yet two wives two families and like the other woman called Adriana I believe and they put it together I mean it's a terrible traumatic thing to have to go through and you know it's not you know it's it's terrible and Adriana definitely went through that and she had to sort of rebuild her life and we always were under the impression that she was sleeping on her gallery floor and Leah came in and helped her out and now Adriana is saying well Leah bought a few paintings and and that was basically it she not only bought the paintings but she brought custom she brought all her rich friends to buy paintings yeah and I'm sorry say what you will but like Leah Leah is connected look at her gala her gala shits on like all the other real housewife parties that are out there I'm sorry it really does that goes for like Beverly Hills that goes for New York I mean like her gala is like it's huge I don't know I just think that if you're gonna get on Leah there are like such legitimate reasons that you could go after Leah I'm like nail her down for if you really wanted to then I don't understand why you know like Adriana is really freaking out like oh I can't go into her house it gives me heart attack every time I want to go into her house yeah what is it I can't go into her house I need to caplina before you go into her house yeah because that phone call was so scary when Leah was like hi just calling to say come on over it's a kiss birthday party don't worry I'm not gonna fight with you you know everything's fine with us just come on over yeah and meanwhile Adriana is like talking shit and being really vicious and mean with like four or five other ladies at a time that's all she's done the entire show why is she scared I mean if anyone should be scared it should be Leah that have that but also why did she go I mean she's like well I don't want like I don't want to take it out and pour RJ like do you think that RJ gives a shit about if Adriana DeMora shows up at his birthday party he cares about like having a fake friend to fake friend and then put on a top hat afterwards that's what he cares about he doesn't care if his mom's friend does or does not show up Frederick was there that's all he cares about like do you remember any of the parents and shut up at your birthday like you don't care so for Adriana to be like yeah for Adriana to be like well I have to be there for RJ like no you actually really did not like I guess my son looked like he could barely be in the same room with her I mean she's that fucking obnoxious when she's like listen I wanted to talk to you about the things that are going on here do you know that are you upset because of RJ and he's like no he's like I'm well do you guys talk about it or you know has he said anything to you about it he's like nope you know nope is that okay well you're sure you're okay and he's like yep you can go get the fuck out of my room you know oh she's so sad she has nobody to talk to and then her wissy-ass husband has to like grovel and apologize because he was such an ass on twitter trying to defend her like that's a problem with dating someone like Adriana you know like she's such a bitch every year to somebody new like and she goes psycho on people every single year it's always somebody new it's never the same person you have to stand up for your woman like that's part of being a man you gotta like stand up when your woman is in a fight that's why you can't date crazy bitches because you date a crazy bitch and they yell at someone in a parking lot they're not gonna punch her they're gonna punch your ass okay yeah don't date a crazy bitch why would anyone date especially someone as weak as that guy yeah yeah and you know the thing is you know that Adriana yells at a lot of people in a lot of parking lots she yells probably at the squirrels she sees the squirrels like you get out of here with that that nuts that was mine not fun take that nuts take that not take that acorn oh you think i'm not classy the way you're looking at me oh you're the one with nuts in your mouth okay meanwhile i have to say this though i loved rj's birthday party and you know why it was like the first like birthday party we've seen on any of these real housewives shows that actually seem like a true kids party okay it was like kids with like guns pretending that they were like shooting each other and then they're eating cake and they had stupid hats on like it made no sense but it was so much better just like thin orchestra guns gloves fighting i don't know that's what he wanted it's like here's the password to amazon have fun order your own shit kid i'm busy i mean i mean i would never i would never give my kids like a free reign of like amazon but like compared to for instance like taylor armstrong booking malibu one malibu vineyards and having ace young sing and having like a wine tasting or like or even before the once again season one of everly hills taylor armstrong makes this huge like crazy mad hatter uh tea party long table with all these like topiaries and everything and like it's a 30 thousand dollar or sixty thousand dollar birthday party for a four-year-old girl and they cut to briefly her daughter in like a dirt patch with her friends like and the daughter and the friends like singing the dirt having fun the party was really for taylor this was the first year the first year she wasn't even in the dirt having fun with her friends she was like way in the back with her nanny crying remember yeah yeah that it was the same party like that she was with the nanny and then she was in a dirt patch with her friend oh my god this this party actually seemed like it was a kid's party even though it was at a mansion even though there was an orchestra the orchestra was like rj's strange like megalomaniacal birthday tyrants green but like it wasn't like leah was like i gotta have an orchestra it's like me kids she was like whatever and like i actually found to be extremely enduring and i thought it was like a very grounded moment did you think that or am i just crazy no it was i thought it was really funny and i thought it was very uh cute because it's like a typical older parent like when you really wait to have kids into your older you know and it's like you don't have to be involved in every little thing i mean she's not even there a lot of the time she travels she does a lot it's like listen honey here's the amazon number here's the password your birthday is this day having a house if you want the backyard do whatever you want i don't care i've got a gal live kind of the remodeling i had to get in the car today and go to the grocery store i had to buy milk i had to buy cheese i had so much going on all the time it's raining there's grass on the ground so much happening how far is that i mean that's what every kid dreams of is his mom just being like do whatever the fuck you want i don't care don't kill anybody don't get anybody pregnant otherwise have fun okay i also i also like and again i'm not trying to like like just be like oh my god leo's the best again because we have some sort of relationship with her but i'd like that when when it started to rain they went inside in her house was like a disaster like it was truly not ready for guests and she like didn't even give a shit she's like okay well i have what i'm doing over some other queen you know like compared to whatever you want if you're staying that don't sand it down yeah sand it down compared to last year when lisa you know like uh there was an issue like the audio and she was like my party is ruined i can't believe you did this you know it's like you know you can sort of see the difference between someone who's has a more experienced under their belt i guess you could say whoa um sarah sumaya chama just posted a canole ice cream from ben and jerry's limited edition um okay so let's move on from oh something else i'm gonna maybe do those lea things like once a month because i don't want to like be on their too much but um just because i really need more alone time in my life yeah but if you were on before me would you please ask her because i brought this up last week with matt about this beth and texas thing because i still don't get that and i i should probably just tweet her but i don't want to embarrass her yeah i don't know how to i don't know how to have that but he mentioned that she told us when we when we were at her house she said this story came out it's from some beth and texas how am i supposed to know i mean i don't know i could have sworn she was saying she doesn't know this beth and texas she didn't and then last week she was like oh it's my girl beth and texas here to talk about my book and make an article and i was like oh slam did she lie to me because i won't take that bitch bam she lied i should have asked her last night because beth and texas did come up but from the way she was talking about it last night on on the spree cast it sounded like it must have been a different beth and texas because she sounded like she really had no idea i and like she really was like i don't know who this is some woman she first some she was saying about like she's like she was like some like right wing like a vangelical woman where's a red mark having a holiday post you know all right well i'll ask her next time because yeah because that's one thing like if she is if she is like i mean look as we know about the housewives they plant stories about each other all the day on time so it wouldn't really surprise me if lea did like tweet something to somebody that she knew with the blog or she she did tweet that information like she did have the paper proof like she did care enough to get the paper proof the trouble is on stuff like this like they all do it and then it just gets uglier and uglier and more delicious and more delicious i just hope they solve it and so many see either fight or they just need to move on because it's getting older it's the same thing every fucking week and like an Adriana's tips please with those things i know what did she put in there it's like if you shake them up you can watch it snow in wisconsin stop it with those tips those are ridiculous it's like they're just filled with plantains that's all it is um can we talk about big fried plantain ball meanwhile so we have not seen much of elsa this season because she had a stroke which is very unfortunate but we had the extreme fortune and delight to have lea says mother-in-law back once again for an extended period which would be marina hoxstein and i love this old russian bitch i love her so much oh my god she's hilarious i love her there is a reason there is a reason that we will always always want to nuke russia and that bitch is it okay that personality is like the same way that americans are greedy fat shallow all the shit that are just inherent to us i mean even the ones who aren't fat are fat inside or will be fat one day let's face it you guys like 80 percent of us yeah greedy we're all greedy we're all shallow we're all on twitter and facebook and all the same reasons they hate us at least the shit they hate us for we have fun with those people are fucking miserable what's up russia relax already you lost just relax you've got beautiful things over there you've got beautiful snoop you've got beautiful furs calm down so i think that's dicks all the time i don't know if russia's lost just yet i feel like round two is about to start up but that's a whole other issue um here's the thing if i had to deal with with lea's mother on a day-to-day basis or if i encountered her at the supermarket i probably hate her i'd hate her but watching her on tv i love her it's sort of the same oh yeah yeah it's like mj's like mj's mom on shaza sunset like a awful like i would never want to deal with like if i saw her at whole foods right by where you live i'd be like uh oh my god we're used to live i used to live in little armania like if i saw that bitch in a raw stress for less that trip or else but i'm never turning the channel when she's on my tv what i'm so but what i'm surprised about with lisa and marina is the way that lisa is so brazen in the way she talks about like um yeah maybe if i did this maybe you would love me or maybe you'd want to like talk with me or maybe i would annoy you like she's very open with the fact that she thinks that marina hates her and like i just i feel very open with hating her i mean well but marina's like oh maybe i don't know like oh let's look at these sardines you know like yeah but she never once says oh honey i go hey dude i can't do a Russian accent but it's like really guttural maybe that's why i present them i can't do their accent you speak like this i'm marina marina but she never says no i don't say this to you why never say it she never says that she's just like mmm lisa's like well you know why do you hate me so much or she's like what she's probably like i live for 40 years in the gulag and now i have to deal with lennie's goyesh goyesh wife well i think i think even the russian assholeishness aside any mother's gonna hate lisa okay your husband's like 20 years older than you you're obviously not into him because of his pluck like his handsome plugs okay i mean the guy looks like he looks like a rouse bag you left on the heater like come on must be honest now with like some gum with hair stuck to his head i mean come on you're not with him because of his sparkling personality he doesn't have anything to say you're not with him because of his abs because that shit's plastic you could wash your clothes on that shit what are you with him for you're with him because of his money you're some young whore and you're not even jewish no you're not even jewish you're some young or big old fake tits you got for free office husband a face no one even recognizes you from you could be a fucking criminal for all she knows no one no one can recognize your face doesn't even move you're just obviously some stripper out for his son's money so obviously the mom is gonna hate you so instead of being a smart ass why don't you make an effort and return the bitches calls at least yeah that's actually like that's dumb she should return the calls and second of all like when they went to that russian market or you know if you're like that shit looks good like eat that shit up okay don't make a face okay Lisa don't make a face about that russian food okay you know what i'm saying okay you know what i'm saying especially because she's making a face in a hole she's making a face in a whole fish like that's so crazy like that's so russian uh no it's it's called a fish like people eat that every day you fucking idiot all right you don't have to eat like you don't take it out of the refrigerator and eat the head off like that's not how it works you dumbass they cook it for you and she's like ew rolling her eyes like she's like she's like ew i can't believe we're eating a chicken this is like something that was raised in a farm like what is this state this beef like yeah like this is where i get my milk from i can't believe we're eating oh what is this celery this was grown in the ground and people pooped on it that's how it was grown to cost ew what is this a carrot it looks just like my skin is all orange i don't need things that look like me who would yeah lisa another thing about lisa like instead of getting her own personality basically she either brags about her husband's money which look i get that i get marriage i get all kinds of marriage but especially straight marriage i get it especially if you've got kids you know your job is being the wife taking care of the house taking care of the kid this bitch doesn't have kids what's she taking care of she doesn't clean her own house she doesn't do anything all she does is sit there all day i'm not going to sit there and listen to her brag about her money she doesn't do anything like is that really poor of me to resent that because it just bugs the hell out of me that all she does so then all she does is try and stir the pot with other girls yeah like why is that necessary they already hate lea do you really need to bring it up right now like do you really need to take that call in the dry dress shop right now like i don't know and what the hell's marissa will even doing here i know you know marissa is actually really annoying me because she does nothing except make like really bad puns about really bad like lea and her wizard sleeves oh look at those sleeve what has she got up her wizard sleeves a black hat maybe a cat black black it's like idiot lea she's like lea's got blonde hair hair rhymes with air and you know what air rhymes with fair and fairs make you think of the circus and circus as things like clowns and clowns is scary and you know what else is scary which is huh we are black rich black magic it all makes sense now i'm not saying anything right okay not funny she's like that laurin that laurin drag queen chick that i would or not drag queen she's a tranny but it's right or the drag queen we can say it about the drag queen too the drag queen so the drag queen was on lea's thing last night we hold out second come on in michelle yeah michelle it's live it's okay michelle's in the background don't worry she says hi everyone we're talking about real health i know we have to wrap this up soon because michelle and i have an obligation what is it it's called uh dinner reservation with him with whom it doesn't need to be with whom it's where it's only at the finest restaurant in all of um springs chillies just kidding yeah awesome blossom i like that chicken sandwich there that has the fried onion strings on it delicious yeah it's wonderful um i actually don't know if i have that much left to say about miami do you have any other things no so let's just talk about the two shows that begin tonight yes i don't mean i dream of meaning what are your thoughts um i hate these wedding shows but i think i dream of nini could actually be um good so i'll watch it when i get me will be confronting six of grey's children which is going to be fucking hilarious because they're all adults and think she's a total whore so i can't wait to see that i wonder what the other six things you know he's got like a cultural and what does she say? michelle's like who does who does because i'm on headphones that you can't hear any of it so i'm like i'm like hi how are you doing this? michelle you're more than welcome to join it it's just me and ronnie is this being recorded yeah it's being recorded michelle is just fresh in the pool she does not want to be seen on camera i mean i have makeup on she's okay okay well don't get her talking because hi hi ronnie you look great you look great i love her i was just going to say don't don't get her talking if she's not going to come on camera because she's not going to stop that's how Michelle is do you see it she's not going to fucking stop watch that's how she is if you get her if you get her talking she's going to just yap yeah she's can't it's a thing it's a it's a tick you see i told you okay so what is this the new atlanta uh new atlanta looks like it could be good or it could be really sucky so we'll see um we got a private message on our facebook today saying that the guy is most likely gay and he was on i mean it's a lot it's a long email full of stuff but i guess we can talk about that next week after we've actually seen the show so those two shows are starting tonight so we'll definitely cover those next week so you guys check them out and let us know what you think about them and thank you for every bad day being here i'm looking at everybody's facebook comments to see if there's anything juicy here before we get going that we have to say uh there's crap blah blah blah okay i can't read it because you're sick and hearing me read i'm ronnie karen we can find my website trash talk tv.com we have a lot of funny recaps and stuff like that um my videos are on youtube at youtube.com/trash talk tv tv spell t-e-e-v-e-e and then you can find on every social network ever invented at beside blog you can find uh watch what crappins on facebook at what crappins we also do a big brother podcast and we've only got one left for the left of the season three um that'll be posted that's tomorrow night are you doing it i don't know you're doing it come on the last one i'm gonna be driving the finale oh we do it on specific we do it on west coast time yes but if it's gonna be an east coast time though sorry uh all right then i guess we could do that everyone i guess well if but if we do it west coast time are you really gonna show up are you gonna cancel last second i mean if we do east coast time you know what i mean if we do it at 10 30 r time can you do it okay so i can okay so our last one is tomorrow wednesday night yeah i mean jesus christ i'm gonna end up being one of those people have to come on here alone and just like look at pictures and talk about stuff yeah hey let's play some tunes okay so anyway uh find us on facebook slash watch with crappins come on the iTunes give us reviews if you like us if you don't please don't and is that all oh and on twitter we're at what crappins and we miss you matt we'll see you next time bye everybody bye everyone bye go daddy is offering one new or transfer.com for just $1.99 for the first year each new.com comes with a free instant page website and built-in photo album so what are you waiting for get your website started today 199 for a domain name is so cheap go to go daddy.com and enter code crappins at checkout you will not regret it enter the code crappins at checkout you guys okay love ya if you like listening to comedy try watching it on the internet the folks behind the side show network of launch the new youtube channel called wait for it it's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts Todd Glass buys a slice finger slicing dragon friends with it for 10 years one of the funniest people out there and i still have a hard time with the last name 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